#from now on unless you are literally obsessed with me and I’m the only girl for you

[successfulgoddess333]

PLEASE READ!

Hey y’all so I’ve been thinking

Lately

If I should post again for y’all but the truth is

You don’t need me

You don’t need any one but yourself

So stop scrolling on tumblr on Reddit on quora on instagram on TikTok whatever the hell you use

You’re not going to make it

If you keep sitting here being lazy and depressed

Okay we get it

Your life sucks

You discovered the void state you discovered manifesting

And yet you’re still continuing to live in a nightmare instead of living in a dream

I’m not coming back I’ve tried to but I realize you don’t US

You don’t

You don’t need tumblr

Stop asking questions stop obsessing

Just lay tf down and meditate

It’s all it takes

Why are you planning???

Why are you stressing??

No DMs

No questions

No Gc’s

No comments asking

“How can I-“

No

Respectfully

Be quiet and realize who tf is in charge here

I’m not here to baby you I’m not here to sugar coat

Sugar coat for what??? Babes I ain’t sugar coating nothing but my damn donuts

Y’all gotta get out of this loop

You’re procrastinating

You’re being lazy

You are

You’re lazy

It’s ok admit it

You fucking like it here don’t you??

You loveeee having a shitty ass life

Because if you didn’t

YOU WOULD GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT BED COUCH ETC AND GO GET YOUR DREAM LIFE

I can’t be nice to people who know they’re power and aren’t using it

It’s like a billionaire being ridiculously cheap

“Oh I don’t want that that’s too much”

“Sir it’s $3”

And you’re a billionaire”

You’re gonna keep scrolling keep wishing you’d look like an ig model

News flash

Helloooo

You can look BETTER than Kylie fucking Jenner

Ok

She got surgery

You got POWER

Even SHE has this power

EVERYONE DOES!

Only a few are aware and that’s why you’re chosen

You’ve beat the fucking system of life

Seriously the insecurity

In this community

And idc if anyone thinks I’m being rude

This is what you need

You need to be yelled at

You need tough love

You need rudeness

I’m doing this outta love

Don’t like it don’t follow

But if you made it this far

Get up and get it

And stop complaining about a life you can change in one second

You can literally get in the void right now

And I hate when ppl say they got “kicked out”

Bitch who kicked out the mf void state? THATS YOU!!!!

You didn’t get kicked out

You just realized where you were and probably got scared or confused and accidentally shifted your awareness back here

Even when you get in the void

It won’t do anything

Unless YOU SAY YOU HAVE YOUR DESIRES

Because you can just stay there

And come out with the same life

The change happens when you

YOU

Say you’re affirmations

Don’t you get it

The void listens to you

If you say something you get it immediately

And who tf said you needed the void to manifest

Bby girl there’s a bagillion methods of manifestation

The void state works yes indeed

But it’s because of you

But don’t getting shocked when you get your desires you knew you were getting it

You can be excited yes

And don’t act like you need a method

Or a special subliminal

Those videos work if you allow them too

Quit giving power to a 10 minute video

These are TOOLS

Guides

They help you like a teacher

Don’t you graduate high school not only because you learned but you applied what you learned

Ok so learn from

These blogs these guides

But stop putting trust in subs

No hate to subliminals

Use them if you want

I use them

But don’t give them power

They are guides

And please

Use this as tough love reminder

I love my followers but please get yo ass up and go get it

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey I’ve read a little about the law and I kind of don’t care about it. I’ve manifested well without it and honestly it just seems like an over complication so I can still get into the void without using it, because most people do, but everyone on tumblr seems to disagree with that sentiment

Funny story, I actually shifted before I even properly leaned about the law.

I remember this one girl on Reddit who was a very popular shifter told everyone that the key to shifting was the law of assumption and Neville Goddard lectures. She shifted to Harry Potter after understanding his lectures and it only took her only a week after being on her journey for two years.

At this point, I was sooo depressed and down bad to shift. I had tried every single method under the sun on Reddit, Quora, amino, YouTube, and others methods derived from religion….so her telling me this man was my key was an absolute dream. Again I was down bad, so atp I would have eaten cow shit if that’s what it took to shift 😭😭 it is maddening thinking about how depressed and obsessed I was with it but whatever I’m up now.

Anyways I still never really got into the law because it was boring and his lectures made me fall asleep at the time. I was like 17 and didn’t really care how or why shifting worked, I just wanted to escape tbh. Anyways I decided to actually take the law seriously but then the creator who introduced me to the law left Reddit and shifting media because she believed she was mentally ill, and shifting was fake and she had to get therapy.

I remember I hated Neville and the law of assumption after that so I dropped it, which is super funny to me because why was I blaming a dead man for this situation. I avoided it with my life and anytime someone recommended it to me I got unhealthily mad and told them to shut up probably idk. I was 17 and depressed and in a really bad place and that situation just made me spiral beyond anything and ruined my mental health.

Anyways I focused on manifesting better mental health and a better life after that,and shifted my attention to just intention which is literally the everything inside an assumption. I ended up shifting obviously and then I dove into the law out of curiosity because after I did it I just wanted to know.. I guess the logistics behind it because it was a cool phenomenon to me.

But this wasn’t until 6 months after I shifted and now.. well I obviously love the law and understand it and have a blog dedicated to it so I obviously use and recommend it!

What I will say is everything we learn with the law, 3D and 4D, dwelling in imaginations, states, affirm and persist, the ego, I am state, persistence, you know all that good jazz that I even talk about, is simply because we wanna learn and understand it properly. If you don’t want to use the law or whatever that’s fine but understanding assumption creates reality is the bases of everything.

Just understand that and it’s literally the same thing without all the other stuff lol. I guess that’s why I love intention! it’s the premise of everything we do. Intending, wanting, desiring, whatever and then assuming it to be true is so simple and it works. At least that’s how I shifted anyways. Regardless you use the law even if you’re not aware of it, and there are people entering the void, manifesting, and shifting without knowing the law so why would that be different for you?

So if you wanna use the void (which is literally within you, so hating it means hating your pure state of consciousness which is weird)why would the discussion about it even matter unless you assume it does anyways. Idk my perception around it is completely different since I have met a lot of people with experiences with the void (like my church friend who died) but not the way the tumblr girlies use it. It’s valid regardless!

Literally just assume whatever benefits you and resonates with you will work and it will work, point blank periodt.

[wickmitz]

How do you think about Frepper? I'm neutral about this ship, but the fans Frepper attitude towards confuses me, Ivy and Freckle have only been dating for a week and know each other superficially, but everyone already thinks that by the end of the comic they will get married, I think differently, I think that in the end they will break up with each other because they are too different personalities, I literally can't imagine that both of them will be happy with each other in marriage, Ivy is assertive and active, on the other hand Freckle is passive and just agrees with Ivy, this is not a guarantee of a healthy relationship where a partner completely dominates the other, plus to all that, I will not forget how their relationship started, Ivy just decided that they were dating, and without asking Freckle's permission, she just KISSED him, again without his permission, Frepper fans think that it's cute, but when I saw it, I thought "what the hell did I just see?", in general, it's strange for me that Frepper fans are okay with such things, of course later Freckle shows attraction to Ivy, showing that he likes her in some way too, but I still won't forget how their relationship started and how Freckle used to try to escape from Ivy when she squeezed his hand tightly and forced him to her …

I'm not against Frepper, but I don't understand his fans who don't see these issues and who treat other points of view on their relationship (like mine) as … um, as nonconformity? Fans from reddit are just obsessed with Frepper, I don't know about other networks but that's how it is on reddit, I think there are people who have my opinion but are afraid to say it because of fans, of course, I met Frepper fans there who normally accept such an opinion, but still there is a feeling that such a opinion cannot be told

Simply put, Ivy and Freckle are a couple that will eventually break up with each other unless there's an event between them in the comic that changes my opinion of this couple, but that's how I feel about Freckle for now. I didn't plan to express my opinion, but it happened that way, I hope you don't mind it

first and foremost, i don’t mind seeing someone express their opinion in my inbox! you and anyone else are free to do so, even if i may disagree. this blog’s entire existence was made for me to share my opinions ( and love! ) for lackadaisy, as well as engaging with other fans, because what else is the point of a fandom blog? and as far as i’m aware, this is unpopular opinion central! most of my thoughts aren’t exactly the ones with the most voice behind them i’ve found, so i welcome all manner of different views. every fan is entitled to their own perspectives and opinions, and should be allowed to share them as they please! but with that disclaimer out of the way, i’m more than willing to discuss frepper in its entirety.

for me, there’s little confusion i carry where it concerns this ship’s popularity amongst the fandom. freckle and ivy, if we are to strip them down to their bare essentials, are a rather stereotypically ‘cute’ relationship : people enjoy opposites ( see zibwick or vikdecai for example ) and there’s an endearing quality found in puppy love dynamics. seeing ivy wear the pants and drag a shy freckle around by his ankle makes for quality content in a way! think the ‘excuse me, but he asked for no pickles!’ meme … ivy and freckle very much fit that sort of mold, and it helps that most fans are too scared to ship them with other characters in the cast too, due to what they perceive to be a lack of options. thus, frepper is an extremely ‘safe’ ship! you cannot get in trouble for enjoying something that is not only canon, but is relatively adorable ; and so i don’t believe a lot of the fans are actually thinking too deeply about the likely endgame of it all. most don’t! it’s fun to ship, and that’s all they really need i think. it’s also very easy to dismiss ivy’s forwardness as a quirk of being a young girl who’s of her temperament, recklessly boycrazy although still carrying sweet intent. this behavior is easier to hand wave when neither ivy or freckle are experienced at the dating scene as well … freckle due to his extremely religious upbringing and hermit nature, and ivy because of viktor’s constant meddling, which would hold her back more than you’d think. with that said, i don’t think any of this is excessively complicated. some shippers are rather simple minded and do not care for details and characterization all too deeply. enjoying dynamics is, at its core, supposed to be fun -- which makes simple ships like frepper prime targets for a very vocal and tight knit fanbase. there are other things i could speculate about why these two may hit so pleasantly for others, like how there’s an underlying queer theme to it ( what with ivy being the pursuer and freckle the shy, blushing flower ) or that it’s tropey enough to hit the right spots for others … though it all boils back to mere speculation. perhaps they still have time to escape this gangster lifestyle and live happily ever after? and that appeals to the lackadaisy fans who still want some sort of happy ending? it’s all a combination of frepper being easy, i think, and containing two young cats who still haven’t done anything particularly ‘unforgivable’ yet action wise. this is a ship you can root for without an ounce of worry in your heart, and so on and so forth.

but although i understand why others are so vocal about them, i don’t exactly agree with fanon’s views either! while i heavily enjoy frepper, i enjoy them as they are, and that includes their looming flaws and inevitable tragedy. they are bound to break each other’s hearts a lot on their current path ; even if they were entirely perfect for one another, this lifestyle isn’t kind to anyone, meaning if they don’t separate, they could always be forced apart via bullets and such anyway. they are young and woefully inexperienced in a manner of things, the last thing they need is the stress of a rumrunner life driving their every action, you know? i know people see them getting out together, and that is likely on the table! i do see that in many ways, but i’m also of the opinion that ivy and freckle will diverge onto different paths at some point and temporarily call it quits. from where the comic currently stands and given my view on ivy’s arc, i see her growing disillusioned with where she is and the honor and fun she saw within it as a royal spectator will fade ; she will become wary, fearful, and her resilience will die … meanwhile freckle will embrace it, similar to his cousin, fully understanding what it is and what he’s getting into ( like rocky, again ) but being unable to leave his refuge. i know lots of people think freckle will leave the lackadaisy first, but given his old concepts and former title as one of mitzi’s ‘trouble boys’, i think he will become lost in the sauce for a myriad of reasons. frankly i enjoy that twist on their relationship! since i believe ivy’s character development will revolve around maturing, changing as time stretches forward, because her character is ever growing, what with her entire schtick being the fact she’s everything a 1920s girl was during those times. she embodies that unladylike youth and manipulative sweetness, so i’d imagine a lot of her path is falling from such naive thrill seeking and stumbling upon a harsh reality. she will mature, and the very thing that should make their relationship stronger will be what divides them indefinitely. everything they have is founded on this bloody, varnished soaked ground after all … they are young adults who are experiencing what closeness feels like outside of family or platonic friends for the first time, so naturally they will overindulge in their own amateur games ; find respite in the boogie and kiss like couples do on the silver screen, laugh about it, talk about everything and nothing at all … relish in each other’s warmth and stupidly loyal protection. i’m sure frepper will grow closer before any falling out, because as it stands, it’s one of the few things they have in such a scary situation that feels comforting and kind. they will impact each other in the fundamental ways first relationships do and, to move towards your biggest gripe, do things they’ll regret or allow things to happen to them that they’re not entirely okay with.

ivy is very forceful with freckle initially, albeit in her typical saturated way ; and i can see why that would be hard to parse! especially when freckle spends a majority of their first scenes together squirming away and hiding, trying to duck her affections and bolt for it. there is a lot of boundary crossing between them! but not in a necessarily malicious way … like most things with frepper, this circles back to their mutual inexperience and how, in a lot of ways, this is their first ‘serious’ romantic relationship ever. and it’s rather common for such firsts to involve gray areas, since neither party is entirely sure of what their own boundaries are just yet! while freckle did appear frightened by ivy at first, it’s important to note that tracy’s mentioned him having a flight response whenever girls flirt with him … he is prone to run away instinctively, which if you consider his extremely religious upbringing, isn’t exactly a surprise. nina would no doubt look down upon freckle engaging with girls his age due to what most girls his age are currently doing in the roaring 20s they’re living in. sneaking out and engaging in illegal activities, dancing in a way that would disgust most of the more traditional and older generation, casually engaging in any manner of sexual activity before marriage, etc etc. and this isn’t even listing freckle’s cagey nature due to an incident we know was bad enough to send rocky packing for years, and fundamentally changed freckle himself at such a young and impressionable age. he is … very troubled! and rather scared of himself and the world around him … at this stage in life, freckle is perpetually unable to make any progress towards anything he may want, and so i have little problem myself with ivy mostly taking the lead. when left to his own devices and allowed to choose outside of influence, freckle did in fact sneak out of his mother’s house to go to the lackadaisy, surely well aware that ivy’s intention had been romantically inclined. so, to me, he has always liked her ; perhaps found her cute, in a shallow way, saw her eccentric behavior as endearing and frightening in equal measure, and while he’s still wading into this whirlwind pool unsteady and shaken, he -- wouldn’t mind it if ivy pushed a little more, or moved him around to her ( and what she perceives to be, their ) liking. perhaps this dynamic is familiar enough to him that it becomes comforting, since rocky was very much the same way in their adolescence. tugging freckle around and pulling his tail for whatever rocky wanted them to do, with little care for whatever his baby cousin desired at the time, ignoring his protests and chasing him ; nobody’s at fault here either, kids are extremely self absorbed and this is a flaw they’ll usually mature past, and while ivy and freckle are adults during the comic, i don’t think ivy’s outgrown this linear view on things just yet. she is extremely entitled! she is used to being the apple of everyone’s eye at the speakeasy due to her jazz baby status as atlas may’s goddaughter, and this gangster connection excites and awes the ladies she attends classes with at her university too. ivy pepper is used to getting her way and this has only fueled her determined attitude, her ‘pull it up by the bootstraps’ mindset, and in many ways, this is something of a flaw for her. it’s not bad to be confident and headstrong, although when you add that into a dangerous mix of rumrunning and gunslinging, it may become a problem rather quickly. but i digress! point is, ivy and freckle are hardly at fault for the awkward way they handled the start of their relationship, when it’s so new and fresh to them both.

neither of them have boundaries at this moment, as they either have no clue what those are or simply haven’t realized they should set them. so, in turn, there are things that the other may do that could cause their partner discomfort … and it’s mostly done out of obliviousness and good intentions and your classic dose of intense affection. doesn’t mean it isn’t messed up to a degree, but i think it’s rather realistic, and is a hard truth that comes with many first relationships of that sort. sometimes you don’t know how to say ‘no,’ or you agree and regret agreeing later, or perhaps you simply don’t understand there’s certain things you aren’t ready for or genuinely just don’t like. again, it’s a very muddied area, and the two of them are vaguely navigating what is mostly foreign to them. they’re bound to mess up! so i ivy some slack here, and applaud tracy on the realistic writing more than anything usually. young love also happens to be a great device to use for inexperienced characters finding themselves, through the good and bad of their relationship, and frepper is all about that. maybe freckle will inevitably bring up how he feels like he would’ve preferred it had ivy asked him out properly, or gave him time to court her in a traditional fashion … and she will be surprised ( and a little wounded ) by this, since she had never considered it before … too used to her way of things to realize there’s another path they could take. i think this aspect of the relationship is important, and i can understand wishing that more frepper shippers would view it as such, or comment on it's morally gray nature without just calling it ‘cute’ and leaving it at that.

tldr : they will most certainly break up at some point, maybe even multiple times! tracy has said before that they both have some serious maturing to do if their relationship is to be long lasting, and i doubt that maturing will happen to them both at once … since they have different things to work on emotionally. but they will probably strongarm some major personal development within each other, as well as love one another with a fierceless abandon that most kids do. i could see them getting married, i could see them not, but i agree that if they were to be wed happily, they’d have significant hurdles to overcome. but personally, frepper is something i adore mostly due to the impact they’re bound to cause each other, and even if they are to separate and find someone new and more fitting, they’ll always remember one another -- perhaps fondly, and sadly, and with some anger. a time they’d like to forget, but a person they’d like to remember … which is my cup of tea overall! they much more interest me as they presently are anyway, where i can fiddle around with their budding romance and friendship bonding. and as lackadaisy grows in popularity, i do hope there’s more frepper fans who see their complexity and flaws and explore them with all of it in mind.

anyway! i hope this was coherent, and that it was obvious that i agreed with you for the most part. i haven’t really talked about frepper before with anyone so many of these thoughts sort of burst out of me! and i feel like i have more to elaborate upon, but for the sake of simplicity i kept this short. oh well! surely this is enjoyable and informative regardless.

[etherealabyss11037]

DRA Character Sexuality Headcanons

I’ll just be making a brief list of what sexual orientation I believe each character from the first Danganronpa Another game has. Remember, I’m not condemning anyone who disagrees with my interpretation or has a different headcanon of a character. I believe everyone is entitled to their own headcanon, even if it blatantly contradicts canon, and you don’t attack others who don’t share the same headcanon as you.

Kiyoka Maki: heterosexual.

Kiyoka spends her last FTE worrying about who’ll be a suitable boyfriend if they don’t escape, so that’s basically my justification for this interpretation.

Mitsuhiro Higa: heterosexual.

Yeah, I don’t think much explanation is needed: he sexually harasses Akane in chapter 1 and brags about how many girls he gets in his FTEs. I understand why some may interpret him as an in-denial homosexual, if only to take the piss out of him, but I don’t see it that way. Mitch is a pretty transparent character, so I doubt something as deep as that is applicable to him.

Kizuna Tomori: heterosexual.

Some see her as a repressed lesbian, which I understand why, but I see her as more of a “straight girl with severe issues in her relationship to men”. Plus, I take into account the FTEs, so Kizuna’s implied attraction to Yuki by her last FTE is indicative of her sexuality to me.

Ayame Hatano: Bisexual.

I forever headcanon Ayame is in love with Akane, but her last FTE has her blushing at Yuki, so I interpret her as a girl-leaning Bisexual.

Kakeru Yamaguchi: Bisexual.

I wholeheartedly ship Kakeru x Kanata (Kakenata? Kanakeru? Yamanori?), so that’s part of it, but Kakeru also gives major guy-liker vibes, so there you go. I also semi-ship Kakeru and Kinji, so that’s further fuel to the fire.

Kanata Inori: heterosexual.

As I just said, Kakeru x Kanata is OTP for me, and that’s all the justification I need.

Kinji Uehara: Pansexual.

This might sound unexpected, but I see Kinji as such an open-minded and big-hearted person that he wouldn’t consider the gender of his partner, even if his religion prevents him from entering any romantic relationships.

Haruhiko Kobashikawa: heterosexual.

Similar story with Mitch, except Haru isn’t nowhere near as creepy. Sure, some think he’s got some homoeroticism with Yuki in his FTEs, but his obsession with the female gender leaves me skeptical of that.

Satsuki Iranami: Pansexual.

Similar to Kinji, I believe Satsuki’s such a pure-hearted person that she wouldn’t even think about her partner’s gender. Still, Satsuhiko for the win!

Yamato Kisaragi: Pansexual.

Literally the exact same explanation with Kinji and Satsuki, only I think he’s got a preference for men.

Mikako Kurokawa: Biromantic Demisexual.

Being the mysterious and quiet girl she is in-game, I doubt Mikako would consider dating someone unless she’s built a secure, trusting relationship with them. However, I’m unsure whether this would apply to pre-game Mikako.

Teruya Otori: homoflexible.

Now, I just can’t unsee Teruya liking other guys, but I also headcanon that Teruya developed feelings for Rei between the time they escaped and pre-SDRA2, so I compensated roughly down the middle.

Akane Taira: Heteroflexible.

I view Akane as predominantly being attracted to men, but may make some exceptions for a girl or two (perhaps Ayame would fit the bill 👀)

Yuki Maeda: Heteroflexible.

Similar to Akane, he seems to be a woman-liker, but I’ve no problem with the idea of him getting together with the right man (*cough*KINJO*cough*). In regards to Utsuro, I think he’s either AroAce or Demisexual.

Rei Mekaru: Panromantic Demisexual.

See, I believe Rei would have an extremely difficult time with getting vulnerable enough with someone to consider dating them, but once a trusting relationship is established, I don’t think she’d care about her partner’s gender.

Tsurugi Kinjo: Biromantic Demisexual.

Similar to Rei, except Tsurugi may have a preference for men, given that he spent much of his backstory and post-SDRA2 presence being defined by his relationships to other men.

[botlabyrinth]

OKAY PERCY JACKSON EPISODE 6 THOUGHTS (long post)

i was definitely a bit weary of the big changes: the fact that the summer solstice deadline passed and that percy gets 4 pearls. but after thinking about it for a while i think im actually okay with it!! first of all, its making the show interesting for book readers bc they caught me off guard and now we don’t 100% know how it’s going to play out lol

but also, i like that the deadline passing raises the stakes a bit more. the fact that percy still wants to go get the bolt from the underworld, just shows how committed he’s become to the actual goal of the quest and starting to embrace his demigod side. and it’s going to make his trip to olympus at the end so much riskier & dangerous considering a whole war is literally about to start. so im okay with this

and then the 4 pearls: i still don’t think they’re going to be able to take sally with them out of the underworld. something is definitely going to happen to 1 of the pearls, it’s going to get lost in the chaos of them making it to hades’ palace or SOMETHING because a big part of the prophecy is “fail to save what matters most in the end”. they have to leave sally behind and i think it’s going to be so much more heartbreaking that percy HAD 4 pearls and HAD the chance to save his mom but they lost 1 along the way so then they’ll have to make the tough decision and TRULY fail to save what matters most… bc in the book it’s not even really an option since he only gets 3 pearls

obviously i could be wrong about that lol but i don’t think there’s any way they don’t leave sally behind because she’s not there on the beach when they’re about to fight ares, which is where they are directly after the underworld (unless they’ve switched the order around but idk how that would work)

other than that I LOVED EVERYTHING with the trio, the bestieism continues and i love it. you can really see the shift in percy and annabeth’s dynamic after the last episode it’s so cute. the little grover and percy moments were so sweet too, their convos felt RIGHT out of the books to me. also MORE SEAWEED BRAIN AND WISE GIRL!!!

LOVE the dream sequence bc it felt so book accurate, we do get a lot of percy witnessing other people’s convos through his dreams and this is the first time we’ve seen it in the show, it was great

luke immediately jumping at the chance to blame clarisse for stealing the bolt in the iris message lol im laughing

more luke/annabeth sibling set up AND hermes and may and luke backstory set up??? i was NOT expecting that so early on but im deeply obsessed

the whole hermes situation was also great… i can’t believe it but i liked LMM’s performance?? i think he sold it really well. again im so excited to be getting these convos about hermes and luke so early on because it is such a key part to the end of the series.

the conversation with percy and the nereid and the way percy reacts to thinking the quest failed??? the way he refuses to give up?? the nereid saying they all see so much of poseidon in him??? i’m unwell

crying at annabeth pick pocketing hermes, the literal god of thieves, that’s my girl fr

the entire cab driving sequence was just so funny. peak comedy, and brought some lightheartedness to the episode that i think was very needed. the new yorker in percy really came out in that scene lmao

there was just SO MANY hilarious moments of dialogue and jokes between the trio i feel like this episode captured the essence of their dynamic from the books so well

overall LOVED it, wish it was longer, and i’m curious to see how they finish it off in the next 2 episodes. i’m trying my best to hold back the criticism for any changes until we’ve seen the whole season, because i think most complaints people have from this ep will probably just be fixed or addressed in the next 2 lol

[venusjailer]

Will I ever stop pathologising the AP main characters and creating incredibly detailed backgrounds riddled with childhood trauma? It’s unlikely!

(INSANELY LONG) (LIKE INSANELY) (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED) EXPLANATIONS BELOW

(And If you have hc’s feel free to share!)

Patrick: cmon. The entire plot of AP is literally him just begging to be noticed.

Bro is devoid of attention right until the very last scene (aka the one with his lawyer). Sorry to all the SiGmA mALe AMPS fans but this is not a “sigma 🥶”, this is a man who did not receive a MORSEL of affection during his formative years.

His obsession with ‘fitting in’ (ie being accepted and therefore cared about) through his clothes, his looks, his social circle; his outbursts of intense emotion and inability to regulate them (almost as if he was never taught how to do so); the way he views the women in his life in an almost maternal way (namely Evelyn and Jean) - he just needs a hug!!!

And some intense therapy. And heavy duty psych meds.

Paul: this one is partly canonical, partly not.

The way that his character is almost revered by the other guys at P&P is interesting; he comes over as this über cool, competent, successful finance bro almost to a greater extent than they think they are.

But then he gets drunk with Patrick away from the office and from the constraints of corporate professionalism and becomes this silly goofy little guy.

I don’t necessarily think his work ‘persona’ is an act: I think it’s the parts of himself that he has to accentuate in order to succeed.

Also - I took influence for this from the amazing Paul character studies written by my dear friend @leoblooms on AO3 - please check them out

Luis: this one is pretty self-explanatory.

He’s the only confirmed canonically queer character in AP (although, come on, Patrick’s canon closet is made of glass at this point). And yet - in a way that so many LGBT+ people have suffered with throughout history and sadly even to this day - he can never, ever show it. Being openly gay in his environment would make him a social pariah.

Instead, he has to fit in: he’s marrying a woman, he’s acting like ~one of the guys~, he’s hoping that he can suffocate that part of himself by burying it six feet underground. But as so many of us know all too well: you can’t hide who you are forever. The bathroom scene with Patrick just proves this.

I also wanted to make a note of this because it’s very interesting to me - I read the most AMAZING fic a couple of years ago that was written from Courtney’s perspective, and in it it was mentioned that Luis is Catholic. I’m a Christian as well (from a famously progressive denomination) and although a lot of attitudes are changing within the Catholic Church, particularly right now, the ‘gay = sin’ mentality does prevail for many.

So it makes sense that if Luis was raised Catholic he has been suppressing that part of himself for a very long time. I can see him lying to himself and having girlfriends in high school.

Courtney: my literal baby girl. I’ve written a whole 18k character study on her because I find her so canonically fascinating.

My headcanon is that her father was absent from her life from a young age - but this is rooted in how she actually acts in the source material.

In the boardroom scene, Luis thanks Patrick for “taking care of Courtney last night”. To me, it sounds like he’s taking on a role that’s almost paternal. She is also notably reliant, and almost clingy, on the men in her life: telling Patrick she can’t go out because she’s waiting for Luis to call, and practically begging Patrick to call her after they’ve slept together.

Additionally there’s the whole ‘fucking my best friend’s boyfriend’ thing - I’m getting WAY off topic here but I see so much of her in Cassie from Euphoria. Unless someone is purposefully malicious and nasty, I think there’s always a reason for that kind of thing, even if it is complex and unsavoury.

I hate to use the term “daddy issues” because it absolves absent/abusive fathers of all of their damage and unfairly places the blame on young women, but if I had to describe a reason for why she might act in this way - having seen it first-hand myself from many people - that would be it.

Evelyn: so I did take some influence from Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde here - but I think Evelyn is actually one of the smartest characters in AP and so I feel it’s fitting.

She comes over as incredibly ditzy and shallow, but remember we’re seeing and reading all of this from Patrick’s perspective - of course he’s not going to have a high opinion of her, because…it’s Patrick Bateman were talking about here.

In reality, she’s probably one of the most socially clued-in characters. For example: she effortlessly hosts big gatherings with grace and decorum even if the majority of guests are, let’s be honest, fucking insufferable.

She’s also the only character who can actually handle Patrick and meets him on his own level. She absolutely refuses to take any of his bullshit (“what am I supposed to do with that? Floss with it?”).

Her actions and force prove her to be the strong willed and savvy and to me that suggests intellect, as much as it may be hidden - again, due to the environment she exists in.

Bryce: he’s so interesting.

I’ve not written as much about him in my fics as the others, but his actions in the source material suggest that underneath his finance bro Wall Street image, he’s someone who’s very disillusioned, and almost broken.

I really wish the scene of his…episode?…in the club hadn’t been cut from the film. I’d recommend anyone to watch it (and the rest of the deleted scenes because they’re class) if they’ve not seen it already.

There’s also The Informers, the book and film adaptation of another of of Bret Easton Ellis’ works, which features a young Tim Bryce (referred to as Price) and the complex relationship with his father. I’ve not read/watched it in full yet, but whilst they’re on holiday Bryce’s father gets drunk and acts lecherous and gross towards young women on the beach, and Bryce is disgusted by this (perhaps he’s not as much of a raging misogynist as his peers?), and then makes ‘joking’ comments about Bryce being the subject of attraction by other men, to which Bryce walks out on him (perhaps he’s less condemning of homophobia than the others? Or, possibly…maybe he has less than hetero feelings himself? Not to spoil any of Mergerizations but I headcanon him as bisexual tbh).

This behaviour suggests that, at least as a teen, Bryce was very assertive of what was and wasn’t okay and was happy to make these views known.

But due to bullying by his father and, again, the environment that he likely grew up in, he has to suppress this part of himself to be accepted.

WOWWWW that was a whole ass essay. If you’ve read to this part, 1) I’m sorry 2) THANK YOU 3) I love you!!!!

[apocalypse-shuffle]

VALKYRIE | KING VALKYRIE (the mcu)

────────────────────

────────────────────

“Is This Okay?” (Valkyrie x Fem!Reader)

| Tired from covering for Valkyrie while she’s on her mission to save New Asgard’s children, you go into her house for something and end up falling asleep on her bed.

| Reader is always black unless I say differently

| SFW, establishing relationship, it’s just fluff/kissing and some shy!reader

| 1k+ words

At the sound of a knob turning you stir and blearily lift up your head. A woman’s silhouette stands in the door.

“You warming my bed?”

In the near darkness of the bedroom, the only light sources are coming from the now open door and the cracks in the window blinds, you make a quiet amused sound.

“Not on purpose,” you rub your eyes with a sniff. “I just came to get something and passed out.”

“Oh? What were you looking for?”

You look around the room but absolutely nothing rings a bell.

“Honestly, I don’t even remember, but I’m sure it’s in my itinerary somewhere.”

She laughs softly. You can just barely make out the glint of metal as she shifts.

You yawn, eyes flitting over her some more. Despite having literally been hospitalized you could tell from her voice alone she was more lively than she’s been in a while.

“Nope. I’d much rather stick to helping make all this easier for you as your assistant.”

“Which you do brilliantly, Ms. L/n.”

“Thank you,” you incline your head at her. “Now did they let you out or did you let yourself out?”

“You know I don’t like infirmaries. Hate being inactive for that long.”

You bring your hand up to scrunch your hair briefly, it’s going to be knotted and dry as hell tomorrow without your wrap. You don’t even want to think about the friction on your edges.

“Yeah, I know.”

The both of you stare at one another before she walks in and shuts the door behind her. She takes a good look at the way the moonlight illuminates the brown of your skin and you sit up to see her better.

A grin takes over her face, her eyes traveling over your body.

“So is this going to be a regular thing?”

You blink up at her, “Is what going to be a regular thing?”

Still dressed in her armor your King chuckles before walking over to the closet. She bends over to shuck off her boots.

“You could keep playing coy with me, or you could get me in that bed faster,” she shrugs off the top pieces of her armor with a glance over her shoulder at you. Getting undressed in record time. “Your decision.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, mind obsessing over what exactly to say. You’ve been “seeing” Valkyrie for almost two months now. She had tossed you a key to her place when you were still in the shuffling-around-each-other stage for official purposes, and you’d never used it till now. And now you were in this situation together.

“You don’t want me to leave?”

Her eyebrows go up and down as she leans against the wall in shorts and an Oklahoma revival shirt.

“No,” she flicks something from under her nail before meeting your eyes again. “I just want a straight answer from you Princess.”

You duck your head, nails clinking together as you fiddle with the edge of your top.

“I mean,” you shrug. “I’d like it to be.”

Valkyrie’s silent for a couple beats right until the bed dips down and one of her knuckles is placed under your chin. You blink up at her, mouth parting slightly as she lifts your head.

“You’d like…what? You’re a big girl, use your words.”

You swallow at her intense regard. She glances down from your eyes to the plush of your lips while licking her own, before they bounce back to meet your gaze and your breathing gets just that much harsher.

“I’d like to, um- I’d like to make waking up in your bed a regular thing,” your voice drops into a whisper. “My King.”

Valkyrie makes a quiet noise in the back of her throat as you breathe in the same air.

“See,” she murmurs. “That’s all you had to say.”

“Yeah?”

She nods. The finger on your chin shifts and her hand moves to splay across your cheek.

“I’d like that too,” she breathes out before her lips are on yours.

It’s a simple kiss. Your mouths lock together naturally for a few moments before you gasp for little breaths and then automatically meld back together. Her tongue pushes for entrance and you grant it after only a few beats.

Valkyrie groans and then you’re being pressed against her. Capable hands grasp at your hips and bring the two of you closer together. You come up on your knees for her and the kiss deepens at the better angle, making you shiver.

When she eventually pulls away due to your incessant need for air the way she’s looking at you from so close makes your face warm. After a few awkward moments of catching your breaths a chuckle pushes past your lips and you pull back, hands dropping down to once again fiddle in your lap.

You force yourself to meet her eyes before you speak. “So does this mean we’re actually dating now?”

Valkyrie hums and leans forward, hand coming up to cradle your face so you can’t run away again, and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“If you’ll allow it, I’d love to,” she smirks. “Especially if dating means having you in my arms more often.”

“Gods above,” you exclaim softly before pushing at her.

She laughs at your embarrassment as she lays down next to you under her blanket. Feeling her thigh brush up against the length of your own ratchets up the heat in your face even more and the way she pulls you down into her makes you feel like you’re about to explode.

Your throat clicks before, in a bid to calm down, you bring up something that’d crossed your mind earlier.

“Why’d you have your armor on if you were at the hospital?”

“Just in case,” her hand rubs down your side. You only shiver a little more.

You nod your head minutely where your forehead is pressed against her shoulder.

“Of course,” she pinches you on the hip for your glibness and you giggle. “I’m just saying. What do you want to do now?”

“Cuddle,” her hand briefly brushes over the curve of your ass before wrapping around your waist. “For tonight at least.”

“Really?”

You’re throwing your hands over her middle and snuggling more into her body regardless of your question though. She definitely wasn’t acting like she wanted you gone so you might as well take advantage.

“Fuck yes. I was stabbed, I want to cuddle.”

NOTES: Valkyrie’s was the highlight of Thor: Love and Thunder for me so obviously something had to give. I thought about the phrase “warming my bed” and built everything else around it. Please ignore any typos I’ll catch them eventually.

Hope you enjoyed!

[ai-luni]

nsfw hcs for merrick? i absolutely l o v e your writing, its so crisp i am literally crushing it up and snorting it like coke rn. also my boy is so underappreciated🥲

HE IS!! YES!! Merrick is so underappreciated. I need edits of him, I need fics of him. Genuinely his voice does things to me, I’m so obsessed with how scratchy his voice is. 

It’s actually embarrassing how much I listen to the ghost’s voice lines. @lylesx got me so addicted to Rorke’s voiceline video and I kid you not, it’s an experience. Now that’s what I snort like coke. 

And I’m so glad somebody asked because this has been plaguing my mind forever. Most childish gambino songs remind me of Rorke. Les, heartbeat, me and your mama, the redbone x bonfire mashup.

Thomas Merrick NSFW Headcanons

Now, let’s begin. 

Save a ghost, ride a cowboy. This man can be damn rowdy if you want him to be. 

He’s hot headed, loves a good bar, a good game of pool, like a true yeehaw blooded american. So if you get him to wear a cowboy hat, you’re really in for it. 

Merrick is steadily approaching his older years now and having been around the block a couple times now, I think he’d definitely prefer a partner who knows what they want. That doesn’t mean you have to be experienced, he's just a little over the shyness of it all now. The man does not beat around the bush, he wouldn’t be a commander today if he wasn’t assertive.

Merrick’s not opposed to one night stands but he’s also started to make jokes that he’s ‘over his prime’. Unless you completely took charge and played all of your cards correctly, I don’t think he’d take home a woman in their 20’s. 

The whole ‘innocent young girl’ act just wouldn’t work on him, period. He would love the idea of having a daughter one day, even if he had to do it as a single father. I’m certain you can find the correlation there yourself. 

(On a different note, Merrick as a father - to a daughter especially - is incredibly protective. He’ll scare off any potential date until they find one he likes, he’ll be proactive if anyone was making fun of them in class and the house has many security systems built in. Not to mention the fact he’s a petty officer, so if his child doesn't do their chores on any given day, they’ll never live it down).

Merrick’s favourite thing to this date is shower sex. Warm water, a hot woman and all the time in the world. What more could he ever ask for?

Seriously though, he’s been a SEAL since he was 17. The man has spent his entire life tossed between aircrafts, navy carriers, land bases and raid sites. The most luxurious thing to him is a long, hot shower. 

When he’s home alone, he’ll get himself off in the shower (also because it feels more private to him and it’s an easy clean up overall). Water running down his spine, palmed braised on the tiled wall. He’ll let his head hang forward, eyelids clamped. If an incredibly undignified noise wants to leave his mouth, then is the only time he’ll let it slip. 

However, he’ll have you in any position imaginable that could fit in that shower. His absolute favourite is having a shower with a glass door facing the mirror above the vanity. He’ll press your chest up to the glass and watch as you struggle to find a comfortable way to rest your head. Eventually he’ll give in and yank your wet hair back to your chin and sit against the glass, leaving your throat on complete display just for him. Then there's your ass slapping against him, your curved spine shiny and wet. It’s not the best position to get the most of him in you and you’ll likely cramp up quicker, but if you can handle it, it’s the quickest position to get Merrick to finish. 

Circling back to the daughter thing: man has a breeding kink. He’ll take any chance he can to ask if he can make you a mummy. 

There was one time you were riding him, holding his hands out by his head. The sight of you alone taking what you need from him was enough to keep him hard long after release but then you started to talk to him. Tease him the best way you know how. 

“You wanna be a father hmm? I’m gonna make you a father” He’ll groan like he was in pain and you’ll feel it, his dick deep inside you just as restless as his hands were. “What will your kids call you? Dad, daddy, papa?” 

When he’s out on a mission, if he’s not thinking about the view of you in the shower, it’s your voice in his ear getting him off. And when you’re with him, then wrap your arms around his neck, let your hands roam his chest and whisper in his ear for only him to hear about how good of a father he’s going to be. He will follow you around like a lost puppy. 

You did it to him around the ghosts once and they kicked up a storm. What nasty, dirty thing could you have possibly said to make him completely melt in your hand like that. 

If it’s not a “mummy” kind of day, he’ll say “yes ma’am.” In or outside the bedroom, he’ll say “yes ma’am” and absolutely loves it when you run the show. He’s also an avid user of “that’s my woman” when you are doing something helpful or badass.

I don’t know about you but I am absolutely whipped for this man’s voice. He would be absolutely smitten if he found out what his voice did to you. Also another thing that should be talked about more here is that Merrick can speak spanish. 

So if you’re being cruel and teasing him, he’ll send it back ten fold (He’s a massive tease and would love a witty woman). He’ll whisper right back into your ear, telling you what he wants to do to you, how hot you look in that outfit and sprinkle in anything in Spanish, until you're a shameless, moaning mess in public. 

Merrick isn’t opposed to public sex depending on the situation. Mission are an absolute no and it’d be very unlikely he’d let go all the way when hiding out in a safe house. 

(If you were with the ghosts hiding at a safehouse, he’d honestly see it as a game of ‘who can last the longest’. Both of you so so stubborn that the game has only ever ended the lot of you going back into combat or with Rorke or even Elias saying they’ll clear the room just so he can fuck you already. The both of you get so tense and strict just because you’re holding out on each other and the others find it very. very. annoying). 

If you were at a bar or restaurant or cinema or even another ghost’s house, however, it’s fair game (granted you can actually find a spot you won’t get caught).

It all started in a movie once, only two other seats were filled out and both were on the other side of the room. You grabbed his hand, stuck it between your legs and started to grind against it. He may have given you the most unamused look but even when you finished, he wouldn’t let go of your pussy until the film was done. 

He can be quite loud in the bedroom. Most of the time, however, he’ll only grunt and groan. He’s gonna be really worked up or angry to get a yell out.

He finds the maintenance of his beard quite an intimate thing and as much as a middle aged man can, he gets quite giddy when you trim it for him. 

Having you sit on his lap in the bathroom with a comfortable silence. His hands instinctively roaming your back as you giggle. His smile makes it harder for you to be precise that eventually you hold his head still by the jaw. He wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off you as concentrated on getting this right for him. He didn’t seem to care as much as you did and just brought you into a kiss. 

Usually if things escalate like that, you’d have to finish trimming his beard later in the night. 

Like mentioned before, Merrick’s been a SEAL for all of his adult life. He’s been a ghost since his early 20’s and has become most of his identity. Seeing you in his ghost mask could then draw two responses out of him depending on how he’s feeling.

On some days, he’d hate to see you wear the mask, see you be associated with any of the violence that that mask has seen.

On other days and more commonly however, seeing you wear his mask does something to him. Seeing you let this mask that has become a symbol of him wrap your face, so willing to be one with him. He wouldn’t make love to you in it but it would definitely instigate the evening. 

Besides he’s always thought the mask looked cool and you looking hot in it only confirms it. And then if the mask continued to smell like your perfume, even for a few days afterwards, he would be the happiest man alive. 

[scoonsalicious]

Mother pookie🩷🩷🩷 ur kitties has risen. My initial plan was to comment on chp 3.3 but I feel like it’s gonna be long😂

To start off, first, even if it’s only one part, it’s amazing! A lot of interesting point for future theories, interpretations and ofc we got to see more on Buckybaby and deLulu so called ‘friend’ship. I gotta say whatever it is that Lenovo did to befriend him is magic because he puts up with her shit 😂 because from the looks of it, Leah did it all the time (when she’s being rude). Just like Bucky said, ‘why do you gotta think everyone is flirting me?’

I actually didn’t get the flirting vibe there, Mya and Buckybaby were just being friendly but clearly deLulu as the name itself sees it differently because hey! Bucky you can’t be friendly with someone else, only me or i’ll throw a tantrum because you make me feel invincible while I was there for you all the time. Anyways poor Mya. Didn’t deserve that. Lenovo needs therapy

Going on next, surprisingly I’m not frustrated when Bucky didn’t tell her the ‘truth’ because first, I have ridonkulous faith on him and second, I think it’s normal bcs I would’ve done the same. It’s either bcs I’m lazy for confrontation, didn’t wanna talk about it or i just don’t know how to tell them properly without it making a scene or hurt their feelings so my best way is to just shut up and agree. Besides, Bucky still cares for deLulu as his ‘bestfriend’ AND also bcs deep down he knows how she will react. If it were me, I would be tongue tied too and just agree with whatever it is that would not spark a fire. Plus, Buckybaby and Major are not a thing yet, it will be a different story if they are.

Now, who the fuck Lenovo think she is calling Major bitch. You are the bitch. Too fucking delusional. TOUCH GRASS. Thank God Bucky called her out. But the ending to their talk? Oh boy, she’s going to change herself into a girly girly gurl. If Bucky told her that he loves worm, she would transform herself into one because and I quote ‘Whatever that makes you happy, Jamie’ — ugh. The things we do for love (in this case, obsession and delusion)

Man, I would love to know how deLulu befriended Bucky. Like for real. What and how?! She literally forced herself into his life but there’s gotta be something she did that made Bucky really really accept her as his ‘best’ friend. One thing for a fact, he had a soft spot for her because again and I cannot stress this enough, she’s his bestfriend, his best girl. In his POV, Lenovo is equivalent to Steve and Sam. That’s something we as readers don’t see eye to eye.

Okay, done with interpretation, going on to future theories. I see there. I see that little star in the masterlist. Major and Bucky are going down dirty lane again and Major, you better suck his soul until he realises how differently Lenovo looks at him. I’m curious though, it’s just that I don’t know how crazy deLulu would be😂 Can mother pookie rate? per 10, Cunthage broke the meter ofc but what about Lenovo?

I don’t think, Bucky would break his friendship with deLulu though, unless if she did do something like crazy crazy. However, Lenovo would, like ‘It’s me, your best-friend or that skank’ kinda thing. After that she’ll throw a tantrum and suddenly had an epiphany which is to make Bucky jealous that backfires because, Bucky is sooooo happy with Major and she starts getting even more cray-cray and plots for Major demise like burning her WarZone or framing that Bucky is cheating on her or the opposite. Since Lenovo is SHIELD, she must have access to the system and use it to gain info about Major. Maybe she’ll contact her ex-husband and shit. But, it will end with either deLulu getting fired from SHIELD, or y’know, somehow she did get therapy and become better?😂 Idk, we have to wait for Mother Pookie’s great mastermind.

Thinking makes me hungry and now I am hungry. So lastly as usual, I love you mother pookie🩷🩷🩷 Aggressive kitten smooches and some cutie Buckybaby gif to make your day!!!

Hi Pookie! <3

Lemme start out by saying that Mya was totally flirting with BuckyBaby, lol. I mean, who wouldn't? Have you seen him?

I mean... come on!

Granted, she wasn't being obvious, which is why BuckyBB had no clue, but deLulu could see it because she is SUPER tuned in to any attention he receives from the opposite sex. Bucky wasn't flirting with Mya, though-- just being a genuinely nice guy and possibly oblivious now that he met Major and can only think about her <3

And you're absolute right about why Bucky didn't tell Lenovo about dating Major. First off, he's nervous-- he literally just met her the night before, so it's brand-spanking new, and he is afraid to make a big thing of it in case it fails; he doesn't want to jinx it, because he really likes her. He knows he's probably moving fast, emotionally, like Steve said, so he's playing it close to the chest until he really has something to tell her. Second, from past experiences, he *knows* how Lenovo will react. They'll have a discussion about it in Chapter Six, but he basically doesn't want her to insert her opinion before he can fully form one of his own.

And yes, absolutely, if Bucky said "I would love you if you were a worm," Lenovo would become a worm. And gladly.

I do want to explore how she and Bucky became bestfriends. Truth of the matter is, I don't know yet! lol

And yes, please expect many chapters with (*) warnings, because these two (Bucky and Major) are rabid for one another, lol. A little spoiler: the next * scene involves one of Tony's sportscars ;) I have not yet written a scene where Major sucks Bucky's soul out through his dick, but I will!

Crazy-scale. Hmmm. It's hard to say, because I would rate Cunthage on as a 20 on a scale of 1-10, lol. Lily's not that bad, thank fuck. She's maybe starting at a 4 but will escalate to an 8 as she becomes more desperate? Like, Cunthage was Villain-Level Crazy; Lily's just like... Regular-Person-Level Crazy?

I can't speak yet to what she's going to do to manifest the crazy. I have many, many ideas and the basic plot outlined, but I haven't written her shenanigans yet! So, you'll have to wait and see!

As always, I love you, Pookie! I hope you're having a great day <3

[alsworld-litg]

let’s get you posting some stuff of your own!

what are your favourite s6 HCS for hamish?

Omg not you making my whole world right now! I’m sorry I was delayed on answering you👀

Also thank you for acknowledging my love for Hamish💕 (no one else come at me for this, unless you’re in the discord I will not be discussing it further)

Okay here are my HC’s for Hamish:

1. He’s rich AF, like stupid rich (just not royal family rich like Tom)

2. His bacon/ham obsession is a bit that he’s leaning all the way into (we love a little self deprecating humor)

3. He’s not actually disgusting or really an asshole asshole - there’s a reason he’s acting weird. Whether he’s nervous and everything is just coming out wrong, he’s a literal awkward human, or he’s getting inspo from How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, I will NOT believe someone that looks like that is THAT gross. 🙅🏼‍♀️

4. He’s going to have a relationship arc with MC - either this volume where MC can dig into him a bunch will make him change his ways or him and MC are going to have an enemies to lovers relationship it’s coming….. mark my words

I may be the only girl in the villa (in the world) that wants to give him love but I’ll proudly die on this hill alone!

[liverbiver9]

Act Two Notes: 後悔莫及 (Too Late for Regrets)

On AO3

Relationships: Jiāng Yànlí & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Jiang Yanli/Original Character; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn & Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín & Wēn Qíng; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxian

Characters: Jiāng Yànlí; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Original Characters; Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín; Wēn Qíng (Módào Zǔshī); Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín and Wēn Qíng's Mother; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Jiāng Yànlí-centric; POV Jiāng Yànlí; Genderqueer Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Trans Male Character; Kid Fic

Hello!

TBH I considered posting this fic here but I truly can't be bothered to figure out how to put all the links and everything so I'll just post the whole fic once it's finished on AO3. In the meantime, I have literally So Much to say about this fic because it's been rotting my brain for weeks now, and there's only so much I can fit in the author's notes, so here we are!

DON'T READ PAST HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

So, act two:

I have SOO much to say about this chapter and I’ll try to go chronological:

I was very careful with how I presented Jiang Yanli here. On one hand, to get the ending I wanted, she needs to literally stage a coup all by herself (at first). On the other, I didn’t want to fall into the same pit so many authors do when trying to bring power to female characters, which is make them girl boss.

I don’t think Jiang Yanli would ever try and build her martial skills, as we get in the text that she had little interest in it. As cool as it sounds, she wouldn’t do such a thing as wield a sword or Zidian unless pushed to great lengths. This fic has her using cooking as a way of cultivation, and I became obsessed with the idea. I did my best to veer away from copying it and instead adding my own twists, which is why I leaned into traditional Chinese medicine, specifically food therapy.

WEI YING WITH SAILORMOON BUNS AND RED BOWS!!!!!!! Pls I’m obsessed 😭😭😭😭 his ponytail is cute and all but I just love the image of him with cute, more feminine hair styles bc he would look SO GOOD! Imagine Lan Zhan’s reaction…

I added the bits about Wei Ying’s tantrums because I wanted him to be a kid, something I don’t think he was ever allowed to be, hence the playful, childish mannerisms he keeps up well into adulthood. “Xianxian is three” is adorable and I love that inside joke with his shijie, but it has some really sad implications. I think Wei Ying was forced to grow up too fast and too early, and that kind of trauma Fucks You Up. Hence, he deserved to have a meltdown once he felt safe.

Wen Ning and Wei Ying being best friends and then siblings? It’s just what they deserve!! They’re so cute

OOOHHHHH BOY I was so excited to finally introduce Cai Yiben!!! This character really grew on me. When I originally had the idea, I was just going to have Wei Ying be trans/genderqueer and let Jiang Yanli have a nice cottagecore-esque Lesbian dream life, but I thought 'You know what? No, she deserves a hot transmasc to rock her world,' and I believe I made the right decision.

Jiang Yanli realizes her feelings for Cai Yiben so late because of comphet, but as a commenter said it could also be read as her finding him more attractive (NOT in a fetish way) once he came out as trans, because trans people are HOT.

Next chapter is a short interlude focusing on Cai Yiben, so stay tuned!

[haveumetbi]

Hello!

I've been using tumblr for a long time, but only recently I've felt confident enough in my english to actually try to join communities and make friends. 

A little introduction... That is actually kinda really long and I’m not gonna subject y’all to it unless you want to, so here’s the tldr:

I’m an acearo, bi, cis girl (🇺🇸 she/her — 🇧🇷 ela/a).

White latina from Brazil.

I’m disabled and neurodivergent

I love sitcoms, comedy is my fav genre of fiction

and cats

and The Sims

and Turma da Mônica

and hairstyling, braids, make up

and Jane Austen

and Taylor Swift

If you like any of it, follow me!! I’ll definetely follow back. If your curious, read bellow.

I’m a 23 year old college student who is majoring in History. I’m kind of a huge nerd, I love subjects like History (duh), Literature, Politics, Philosophy, Psychology, Religion, but also Comedy (i find fascinating to analyze it, even if that kinda defeats the purpose, sue me). I kinda only watch sitcoms, actually, maybe because of how obsessed I am with the genre (more on that later). 

Being Brazilian I may reblog/talk about Brazillian issues/stuff and most definetely will reblog things about Turma da Mônica (brazil’s most beloved comic book series that shaped the childhood’s of at least 3 generations now since the 60s/70s), my longest autistic special interest. Oh, yeah, I’m also neurodivergent, AuDHD and also have persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia gang rise up! or dont, ik its hard and tiresome) and fibromyalgia.

Another special interest I’m unhinged about is The Sims, I use Tumblr mostly bc of it, so I’ll definitely reblog stuff about it, maybe if everythings works out I will even create a side simblr, who knows. I love historic/fantasy gameplay, would be cool to share with people.

Idk if its a SI or just regular cat owner thing, but I’m definitely obsessed with these little guys. Speaking of cat lover, I love Taylor Swift. Like, I’m very casual about most music I consume, but she is the exception, I just... feel SO MUCH with her songs. Idk, idk... She also makes me feel things on a sapphic way, though I’m no g*ylor or hetl*r (rlly dont care about who she dates, just here for the art). But not in a wow I wanna bang this celebrity I have a crush on, cuz I dont wanna bang no one, cuz I’m acearo. Just, dont swing that way (or any way, really /hj cuz i'm actually gray-bi-romantic but its very rare, so i'm usually not swinging at all lmao).

I really like to read, but it has been tough to keep the habit with depression and disabled adult life knocking at my door and kicking my ass... currently I’m finishing reading all Jane Austen’s work (i love her sense of humor and analyses of human psychology) in portuguese, but I plan to eventually read the original stuff in english. I just really love stories and storytelling as an art form, maybe that’s why I love to write. I’m obsessed with fanfictions, actually, been writing since I was 11, never anything in english, but who knows, actually creating and participating in tumblr may be the first step. I mostly write about tv shows I’m obsessed about (though I did write some Turma da Mônica Jovem fanfiction...... thank god I deleted, it was terrible, tho in my defense I was still a preteen) and I mostly watch sitcoms so.... About that...

My favorite sitcom ever is probably How I Met Your Mother (it was literally what i needed when i was going through a really rough patch) and BoJack Horseman (yes, cartoon sitcoms totally count, shut up). I’d say my first sitcom love was The Simpsons, my biodad had a lot of dvds and tapes from the golden seasons and the fondest memories of my childhood were us watching together and laughing like two idiots. My first fandom was iCarly (i was a preteen okay), but I wasnt a big fan of the revival/reboot (yes I was team seddie, no it has nothing to do with it, I gave it a shot, but just didnt vibe with it). I also love The Office, That 70′s Show, Never Have I Ever, Community, Our Flag Means Death, The Sex Lifes of College Girls, One Day at a Time and The Good Place.

I’m pretty sure the only other shows that I got obsessed with that weren’t sitcoms were Once Upon a Time and Lucifer, two shows that were quite humorous with its wacky premises (fairytales in real life???? the devil taking a vacation in LA??? i mean, c’mon!!). I’m loving the Percy Jackson disney adaptation, it was my favorite YA book series and it always bummed me that the movie adaptation was so terrible, I'm glad we finally have a great adaptation and can't wait for more seasons to come!!!

I’m very talkative (you dont say?? 😮 /s) and a total extroverted that really loves to make friends, but my communication difficulties really do shine on long distance conversation... be phone calls, video calls, emails, text messages etc... So, although I’d love if you shoot me a message, bc I love to make friends, I also am not the best texter, so dont expect someone who always immediately answers you right back cuz they are online — please dont take it personal, it has nothing to do with who is messaging me and everything to do with my disability mkay? And yes, I am trying to work this shit out in therapy, but you know... growth aint linear. When shit hits the fan, the first thing that I lose is the ability to answer text messages 😭 idk i just stare at them, they stare at me, i combust and die, the end. 

Dont know how to end this text, so, I’ll just show a pic of my cat, cuz shes everything. Bye!! 

[xokaus]

SAVE YOUR TEARS, BEAUTIFUL ੭୧ NATE JACOBS ⋆ ۫ . female! reader. nsfw + sfw content. slight ooc nate, but he’s still our fucked up daddies boy. kinda spoiled! reader. normal nate warnings (toxic, manipulative behavior.) talks of murder, obsession + stalking. praise, degradation + breeding kink. orgasm control. hickeys. dacryphilia.

⟢ nate as a general boyfriend, would be… different. he’s protective, toxic, manipulative, caring, thoughtful, hurtfully truthful and many other things.

he loves you. wants to protect you, care for you, be with you, would do literally anything for you. but don’t let that get to your head because you are still his remember?

every girls dream is not have to think about everything around a man and that is literally what he wants you to do: not think.

wants you to just sit and look pretty. i mean you can talk but he’s probably not listening.

wants you to rely on him for everything. ask him what outfit to wear and he’s grinning wide for the rest of the day and telling you how good you look.

wants your full attention all the time. ignore the world, he is your world now.

believes you make him a better person and doesn’t think he could live without you.

loves loyalty— adores it actually. believes if you stay loyal to him, he’ll stay loyal to you.

treats you like a princess if he cares enough. carries your bags, rubs your feet, tells you how good you look all the time, etc.

doesn’t think you need anyone besides him. what do you mean you want friends outside of him? he should be your only friend.

holds your face every time you kiss to assert dominance and makes sure you can’t pull away.

⟢ in public, he tries his best to shade his obsession.

is actually thoughtful. buys you things that he thinks would look good on you and wouldn’t mind at all watching you try them on.

greedy as hell when it comes to you. doesn’t want anybody to even look your way long enough to see what outfit you had on that day if he isn’t standing next to you, holding your hand or has a hand wrapped around your waist.

hates when guys look at you. his head literally goes straight to the thought of beating the guys head in with a bat and letting you watch so you understand how in love with you he is.

is the type to wave a gift in your face but pull it away to ask for a kiss first.

isn’t afraid to show some affection. hold his hand, kiss him deeply but don’t make him seem weakly in love with you.

doesn’t give two fucks if a girl is trying to talk to him. he’s walking passed her with not even a glance, ignoring her calls and ignoring her in all forms.

⟢ in private, he thinks he deserves to be himself around you.

gets angry very quickly so don’t talk too much when he’s angry. unless he’s asking you something then speak up.

stalks you when he has the chance. just likes keeping a eye on his girl to make sure nobody touches her.

be there for him. when he’s having nightmares or can’t sleep. wants you to be his peace in the chaos of his mind.

expects you to tell the truth all the time. don’t lie, it won’t go well.

if he says something that upsets you, he’s do quick to fix it with some kisses and gifts. he doesn’t want you to leave him.

“fuck, i’m sorry,” he’d mumble against your lips as tears run down your cheeks. his hands wrapped tightly around your waist to make sure you can’t pull away from him even though he know you wouldn’t by the way your hands are tightly wrapped around him. he would then pull away and wipe your pretty tears with his thumb from your cheek. “forgive me, ya? i’ll buy you whatever you want,” he would say, and grin once seeing you nod.

during the night, expect late night calls and “i’m outside” texts.

doesn’t sleep at night most of the time and when he does he ends up getting woken up by a nightmare. his first thought when he wakes up from one is something to keep his mind off of it so he’s quick to pick up the phone and call.

sometimes he just shows up randomly with no call.

⟢ when you’re getting down in bed, he can either be really rough or morbidly gentle. he has to be in control in someway so no he is not being dominated.

very vocal. not with moans and such but more with praise or degradation.

building on that, only groans during and if a moan does happen to slip out he’ll be quick to start talking nonsense to you.

likes when you ride him because he gets to see all of you but at the same time has a good bit of control.

loves when you give him head. likes seeing you gag and choke on him.

unpopular opinion, but i feel he would adore eating your cunt. like it’s his number one way to control you in bed and “most importantly” apologize.

definitely into orgasm control. won’t let you cum until you’re practically begging and crying.

loves seeing you cry too. i mean he kinda gets off on see you cry even when you’re not being sexual sooo. . .

if you’re really innocent, likes turning you into his whore.

wouldn’t say he’s selfish but he definitely thinks about his pleasure a good amount more than yours.

likes holding your hand when he really wants to get intimate with you and so you really feel him.

likes cumming inside of you. less mess for him to clean up and he loves marking what’s his. doesn’t want you to get pregnant though so he will buy you birth control to make sure.

speaking of marking, hickeys are his love language. doesn’t mark you too deep but deep enough where everyone notices.

respond when he’s talking to you during. shit really turns him on! tell him how good he’s filling you up and that you love it.

wants you to be a mess underneath him. moaning, whining, crying, begging, all that. and he’ll do anything to get it.

hates when he can’t hear you moan or respond to him when he’s asking you question, so don’t hide or cover your mouth (unless you’re in a place where he needs you to be quiet then be quiet).

spanking is definitely his thing. likes bringing you a bit of pain to make you cry.

likes spanking your cunt too.

kinda feel like he’ll be a ass man. loves to watch your ass bounce and ripple from his pace in doggy.

“fuck,” he groans, hands full of your ass as he parts you to watch the way your cunt tried to suck him back in when he pulls out, teasingly. you’d whine at the lose of contact while he’s too busy watch you clinch and drip around nothing. “you’re so fucking greedy. you and this pussy. you always get what you want, don’t you?” his action is contradicting to his words as he then stuffs you full again, forcing you to let out a whining, “yes.”

had this finished yesterday but i couldn’t spoil y’all that bad. ☆ ૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა

[elefantdaydream]

PFAS

Ch 9: Dino & Drugs

Dino was a very special guy in my life, he was a year younger than me. Dino was very special to me, though he wasn’t the type of special where I wanted to shower him with hugs and kisses and where I wanted to hold hands with him under the full moon sky and dance in the pouring rain. No. Dino was the type of boy I was trying to save from himself.

Dino, similar to myself, was a child of divorce. Dino, similar to myself, had a brother who had been lost to the snow; but unlike me, his life was far more crooked, you could even say his life was broken while mine was just bent.

Like I had said before, Dino was a child of divorce, his dad lived abroad and his mother was a raging alcoholic who would disappear for weeks on end. His grandparents took care of him and his grandma was his greatest supporter. One day his only brother was found lying dead in the gutter, overdosed on heroin. His hero, much like mine, had died; but unlike me, his was a physical death. A year later, his greatest support also passed away, and another year later, his second grandpa also left. so he was now left with his deadbeat mom, a dad who didn’t care about him and a grandparent who taught him how to play the guitar.

The guitar and the music were his escape to reality, yet it wasn’t the only. He found himself in the world of drugs and alcohol and he now was more depressed than ever. So he came to me.

We sat down one day before practice and he started off slow, telling me how shit had hit the fan from one day to another. I ended up telling him about my brother's death. He was the second person I ever told.

Dino was obsessed with women and getting pretty girls, and when he had a crush on someone, all he’d do was talk about other girls to them (maybe he was trying to make them jealous). Dino was obsessed with snorting snow and putting out cigarette buds on his arms and on his back. Dino was obsessed with letting people know he hadn’t slept a wink throughout the entirety of the night. Dino was obsessed with making people feel bad for him.

At parties, it became my unsaid responsibility to keep an eye out for him, to make sure he didn’t get blackout drunk and to make sure he didn’t swallow any of the funny looking pills he kept in his pocket. If i see any on his hands, i’d take them and turn them into snow on the ground, deeming them useless (unless he wanted to get down on the floor and take a wide sniff of the powder mixed with gravel, which i’m sure he would’ve done). On a hazy Wednesday night, Dino called me at about 11:15pm, claiming he was overdosed on some amphetamine and that some of the friends he’d hung out with had convinced him to do so. I hung up on him at 2:30am. He never once said thank you or I’m sorry. He never asked how I was doing either. Ever. My sorrow for him grew so much that once, for the day of the dead, he asked me to accompany him to visit his grandma's grave. I didn’t want to go but I went. I drove us there. That day he cried on me and laid on my lap and shoulder while I drew circles on his back trying to comfort him. I was uncomfortable; He was drugged. He ended up passing out on the car ride back.

Dino developed a crush on me but I didn’t reciprocate the feelings (I was flattered needless to say). He’d tell me all the time how he liked this other girl and how once when visiting his father abroad, he’d had some steamy steamy sex with some older, life life-guard girl he’d met. I never believed a second of it. He was tall and slinky and scrawny and he quite literally had three hairs growing opposite to each other in his chin; his eyes were sunken down and his hair had never before been trimmed in his life. Dino was not a very good looking boy. If he was, maybe I would’ve considered giving him a shot.

I started growing tired of this. He wasn’t a child, he wasn’t related to me in any way, he wasn’t even my boyfriend for me to be taking such care of him. He was my friend but it felt like I was being treated as his nanny. One day I told him I was tired of hearing him complain, and told him he had to get his act together. He never talked to me about his problems again, in fact, we drifted apart.

[dex-starr]

AuDHD rambles ahead

You know the messed up thing about my auDHD combo is the mix-up I get when it comes to belonging somewhere. Like I don’t mean just in the sense of sticking out like a sore thumb, I’m a chameleon in that regard. I don’t stick out unless I want to. I mean more in the sense of feeling comfortable where I end up. Like… I had someone who was completely devoted to me and the mess that I am but I didn’t feel like I belonged around their people. I felt like I belonged around them, but I could never get the second part to stick and it sucked because it wasn’t their fault. It was just some part of my brain that can’t process that social aspect correctly.

The other thing that sucks is that a lot of what’s misunderstood about my actions is misattributed I’d say. Like it’s not like I don’t care, I do. I care way too much even, if you were my special person I do anything and everything. I might miss what you want because I don’t get it in my brain yet or I can’t see it quite clearly but if you point it out I try. I just like had a lot I didn’t know how to open up on myself that honestly? Still hard to do so.

I feel like I do forget the little things not because I want to, what I remember I obsess over I repeat over and over to myself to the point that even after two years apart (or is it three years now? SEE THATS MY BRAIN) I have trouble washing it off because of his deeply I felt. Not only that but like my sense of time is so omega fucked. I don’t know how long it’s been since then. I just know the months that everything happened and how shitty it’s been. I started a job recently and dear god that shows me just how my brain works when adapting to it.

The thing is I lied by omission because I felt ashamed of myself because of things I did when I felt truly alone and couldn’t take it. I can take it now, I’m a big boy and have learned but I don’t want to have to. I don’t want to be on this planet without being able to talk to you but I have to adapt to it. I lied for stupid reasons because I thought I’d never belong if you knew the dumb shit I let myself do before you.

The other problem is that I felt that I needed to take care of my mom because she’s sick and I have been doing that but you don’t get the mental toll it’s had on me. Ever since we were together, like I’ve had to do a lot for her bc she’s literally becoming more disabled by the second. Every surgery she’s gotten hasn’t worked yet and we’re on surgery #5 for her eyes. I would feel like shit if she died, that was my motivator for not going to you yet but… I would feel even shittier if YOU DIED. Just how far gone you were, or said you were — it’s hard for me to think whether or not you said it just to get a reaction from me now. And let me clarify this is not my thought this was something YOUR “friend” put into my head by telling me. Because I still want to give you the benefit of the doubt, I still think you’re a girl who’s been hurt by the world far too much than she’s ever deserved. I still think you deserve my kindness, hell maybe even my softness — but I’m apprehensive now. In any case my auDHD struggles are just related to this because I thought I connected with you I was trying to do that despite whatever you may think, I was trying to not have a barrier. I was trying. You just didn’t get that, you like attributed to “oh he’s just a man” or some stupid reductionist bullshit like that. And you know what? That pissed me off before I had all of this identity shit sussed out, I didn’t know why. And now that I have that figured out? Yeah it fucking upsets me. I do not want your labels, I do not want your “niche” to explain me. Because people doing this have been off the fucking mark, it’s why I went undiagnosed for so fucking long dude, everyone just tries to put me in a fucking box.

[rosicheeks]

😑