#fuckin violent times is so god damn good

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

I think this might be her Actual best record ?? Like for ten years it’s been Strange Mercy but this might be The One??? Idk man. Idk.

[porcalinecunt]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐔𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇!

🪽 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ how aot men would treat their himbo incubus! ~

·˚ ◌༘͙[featuring] ! ˊ 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍, 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍, 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈, 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑

cw — ftm!reader. lots of rough sex. dumbification. overstimulation. breeding to the max. size kink. spanking. masochism(?) oral sex. throat fucking. cumshot. multiple orgasms.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ author’s note! : i made this while violently down horrendous for aot men jfc i was possessed anyways! this will be my last post as im going on a trip soon, so enjoy! 🎀

₊˚ෆ 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑

to be blunt, eren can be a bit of a meanie! after all, you came at such a poor time. the man was too busy jerking off to whatever porn he found, desperately trying to get himself off when you came and ruined his orgasm. as if you weren’t enough of a nuisance, you proceeded to act dumb in front of an annoyed and furiously horny eren. you’re sweet babbling came to a rude halt once the brunette grabbed you by the waist and threw you onto your stomach while you faced the end of the bed. you couldn’t get a word in before you felt something pry at your soaked pussy, turning your head to see your mortal host push himself inside of you and violently snapping his hips against yours. it was only the beginning of his frustrated tirade on your poor cunt, maybe you should’ve shut your mouth or be a little more considerate of your hosts!

“h-hah..eren! g-gentle!—“ you whined like a bitch in heat, only to be met with another harsh smack on your bare ass that was littered in eren’s handprints. you couldn’t help but look back through puffy, wet eyes at the mortal who was fucking you with such ferocity. a green eyed glare made you turn away in embarrassment, before a hand forced you to face him again. god, the way he looked at you could easily rival every man you stole an orgasm from. “e-eren..” you moaned, earning you a hard snap from his hips as he leaned closer to you. the smell of cigarettes still lingered around him.

“who’s fault is it that you got yourself in this mess? hm? not me. now shut up and take my cock like a good little incubus..”

₊˚ෆ 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍

secretly (not really tho), jean adores your naivety. even more so knowing exactly what you are, i mean, how can a literal sex demon be so stupid? a question he’ll never get answers to, but why matter? not when you finally find him in a state of carnal desire. jean will never forget your cute dumb face once you saw his hard cock out in full fuckin’ glory. he was huge, so huge, you struggled to take in his girth. pathetic kitty licks ‘n kisses on his leaking tip to helplessly grinding on his length, it only turned him on even more. enough to where you already completed your task, and yet here you were, continuously pumped full of his cum inside your ruined cunt. the best part? jean wasn’t gonna stop anytime soon, not until you stop making that stupid fucked out face that only gets him hard all over again!

seven rounds later and he still was nowhere near done. your incubus mark that rested on your womb glowed furiously in a hot pink shade, signifying your pleasure and satisfaction with your host. jean knew damn well of this, but continued to fuck you cum filled cunt as a pace only a rabbit could possibly do. “jean..! i-i can’tttt! too much! ah!” you babbled through drool soaked lips, only to be silenced by a sloppy kiss from him. he couldn’t even kiss you properly while being pussydrunk beyond oblivion. lifting you head, you watched in awe at the sight of jean stuffing your pussy full of cock, a small bump in your womb from how many times he creampied you.

“stay with me baby, i know you can take another one in you..you’re doing such a good job f’me love. shit..!”

₊˚ෆ 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

the short and sweet of this man is how little he takes your bullshit. trying to get a good night sleep was difficult enough with your constant whining for attention. you were waiting for a chance to get your cunt pounded by the mortal, only to see him trying to go to sleep instead. however, your efforts weren’t in vain, as levi shot up and yanked you over his lap. you could feel his dick growing harder and harder in his pants as he tore off your flimsy thong that barely covered shit. a calloused hand came down on your bare ass, a sharp smack! startled you as your body jolted forwards only to be pulled back roughly by levi. hit after hit, the pain became an intoxicating pleasure as your cunt soaked itself in arousal, your painfully swollen clit begging to be touched. unfortunately, levi wasn’t the easiest to falter.

smack! a yelp tore out of your sore throat followed by a weak whine, the stinging pain slowly numbing your ass before you were forced back down to earth by another harsh strike. “no..no more..! hurts t-too mu—“ SMACK! another strike startled you from your rambling, almost falling off of levi’s lap where he pulled you up roughly by the tail and secured you tightly. you didn’t have to look at him to know how fed up he was with you antics, or how aroused he was. you wanted so badly for him to just have his way with you, spitting you open and bruising your insides. a tinge of regret only grew bigger as his painfully obvious boner poked at your thigh. fuck, he was hung down there, if only you just behaved yourself!

“what’s the matter? quit squirming like a brat and sit the fuck still. you asked for this.”

₊˚ෆ 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐍

did you piss of this literal giant on purpose? maybe, and what’s wrong with that? infiltrating a wet dream of him getting sucked off by some rando he found hot, fusing reality with fantasy until it abruptly ended before he could cum. you couldn’t help but giggle at poor reiner, well, until he forced you onto your knees and finished the damn job himself. it didn’t matter how many cocks you’ve swallowed, you struggled to take reiner’s full length as he mercilessly fucked your throat inch by inch until your nose was touching his pubic hairs. the stretch of his girth had your throat and mouth stuffed full until you couldn’t utter a word out. don’t think he’ll stop there either! the moment his dick twitches, he’ll pull out and cum all over that pretty face of yours. such an erotic sight gets him hard all over again, only this time, he’ll breed your throat full.

“atta boy. putting that mouth to good fucking use after that stunt you pulled..don’t worry, i’m not even close to done.”

© porcalinecunt 🪽ᯓᡣ𐭩ྀི do not steal, translate, or use my work and claim as your own.

[arminsumi]

I COULD DO THIS FOR HOURS

G. Satoru — さとる ⋅ fem reader

🔞 mdni / mdnr / smut / n.sfw / 18+ content

NOTE: i took a 3 am thirst draft and made it a fucking fic wtf 🥴 i'm so dizzy over this one idk why i usually don't drool for my own smut but god damn this one is special to me. ik i post a lot about gojo atm and it's because i love him no apologies 👍

SUMMARY — making a cheeky comment leads to a long, steamy session in the bedroom with your husband, who's got a point to prove.

WARNINGS — nasty smut 🤤, rough sex, namecalling/nicknames (b*tch, good girl, baby, dirty girl, sweetheart), he's kinda mean, hubby gojo, multiple rounds, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, messy/sweaty sex, daddy kink, p*ssy kiss (1), long session (3h), overstim, dirty talk (teasing, sweet, mean), incl. aftercare, lmk if i have missed smth thank u

WORDCOUNT ≈ 1.3k

PLAYME — daddy

🍒 — J ⋅ reblogs and comments help a lot ! enjoy reading :)

Your husband didn’t like that cheeky comment you made about his stamina and how fast he cums. He thought you were being pretty hypocritical, considering the fact that you cum sometimes solely because of lazy clit thumbing and shallow strokes.

“ Baby, careful what you say to me. “ he smiled at you in the kitchen, serenely washing the dishes after dinner. “ You know damn well that I could go for hours straight with no breaks. The only reason I don’t do that is because you’re too weak to handle it. ” he boasted confidently.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him. That scepticism pissed him off so much that he stopped cleaning the dishes and violently threw the towel down. Your giggles rung sweetly in his ear while he scooped you off your feet and tossed you over his broad shoulder, strong build carrying you to the bedroom like he was on a mission.

He threw you down on the bed with the same force that he threw the towel down with, his hands quickly finding his phone and setting a stopwatch.

You were already giggling apologies, but he wasn’t listening. He tossed his phone onto the bed and dented the mattress with his weight as he climbed on top of you, feverish kisses nearly knocking the wind out of you.

“ I’m sorryh – mmf – ‘toruh – didn’t meanh ih – I’m sorryyy. ”

“ Save your sorries and spread your legs. Gonna have to be a little rough with you, angel. But you like that, huh ? Yeah ? Like it when daddy’s rough ? Mhm, I know. Probably like it when I’m pissed off like this, too.

You smiled. “ Yeahhh, I love it. ”

He smirked. “ Dirty girl. ”

Folding you in half and sinking his cock inside you, it felt like he was your enemy for a second with how he beat up your gummy walls with his mean cock; you were giggling and squirming about his playful roughness in the beginning, but now? You’re screaming, going dumb and limp. It makes him chuckle.

“ Fuck, baby, just look at you. ” he cooed, “ . . . just cumming over and over on this dick like a dumb bitch. I told you that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, didn’t I ? Uh-huh. I fucking told you so. Keep it together, it’s only been twenty minutes. Haha . . . and you were the one talking shit about my stamina ? Come on, apologize to me. Good girl. Tell daddy how sorry you are – haha, you cummin’? Yeah, ‘can feel your pussy fuckin’ pulsing ‘round me – fuck that’s good. You like it when I’m mean, don’t you ? ”

“ Y-yesss ! Love it love it s'much Sa—to—ruuuh ! ” you panted frantically, body jiggling like jelly with each harsh thrust.

“ So cute and dumb. ” he cooed tenderly, as if he wasn’t rearranging your guts and breaking the bed.

“ Feel that, sweetheart ? Feel me sweating ? I know you like it when I’m this close, ‘like it when you can feel the sweat drip off my abs ‘n rub against your tummy ? Yeah, I know. Damn dirty bitch. Nah-uh, eyes on me. ‘S only been an hour don’t zone out on me. ”

Really, the concept of time flew out of your head when you were laying there taking him.

You’re shaking, gummy walls and sweet spots being beat up by your husband’s mean, yummy cock. The pressure inside you builds and builds until it snaps, and you scream his name in such a high pitch that it almost makes his ears ring. He laughs a little, watching as you writhe, trapped under his beefy body. He relishes in the feeling of your pussy pulsing as you cum, it brings him close, too. Before you know it, he’s pumping his cream deep inside, pounding into you like he’s trying to ruin your pussy and reshape it to fit only his cock.

“ Fuckin’ takin’ it so well, angel. Now ‘gimme another round. Get on your tummy – there we go, aw your legs are numb ? I don’t care. It’s only been an hour. You can hold on longer than that, can’t you ? ”

From the back, he fucks you so sensually and deeply that the two of you sweat sweat sweat it up. He insistently bundles up with you under the covers to make it extra toasty. The smell of sex is hot and pungent in your lungs, and inhaling yours and his arousal and scent of cum drives him crazy. Bodies wet and slippery, he’s made a sloppy mess of you before but not quite like this; his cheeks dampen, his hair sticks to his forehead; there’s little rivulets of sweat running down the center line of his abs, following along his v-line. There’s an ache in your thighs, you’re getting overstimulated but it’s so good. And listening to his ragged, heavy breathing behind you just brings on another orgasm.

“ Fuck, baby, ‘wish you could see yourself from this angle. ” he groans erotically, brows finally knitting together tightly as he loses composure and succumbs to his own sensitivity. “ Oh, angel, just cum. Don’t hold it in – cum cum cum yeahhh there we go – that’s my fucking girl. Cumming so pretty on this dick. You’re so fucking beautiful, ‘m gonna cum too. Sh-shit look at all that frothing up, feel that ? ‘so gooey and nasty. Hahhh-ahah I’m cumin’ – cumminggg ~ ”

You can practically hear the hearts in his voice when he cums, vocals straining and rasping against the nape of your neck. He lets out this one last primal sound before pumping you full of another load of thick creamy cum. You can feel him pulsing and twitching. He presses his weight onto your back a little too much, you can feel the tones of his sweaty torso and how wet and hot his body is.

“ Haha . . . fuck . . . ” he runs a hand through his hair, smiling down at the pretty mess on his dick. “ Baby, you did so good for me. You okay ? Did I go too hard ? ” he asks tenderly, nuzzling the back of your neck, just listening to your shaky breaths as you come down from your high.

“ I can’t feel my legs. ” you swallow, dazed smile on your face. “ So good . . . ”

“ Aw, sorry, angel. I’ve got you, come here. Ooh – where’s my – phone – let’s see how long you endured me for. ”

“ Felt like . . . forever . . . ”

He chuckled under his breath at that and leaned off the bed, reaching for his phone that had fallen right off the edge when he was making the bed violently shake earlier.

“ Ooh ! Baby, we’ve got a new record. Three hours. ”

“ Oh my god, no wonder I can barely fucking move . . . you’re a menace. ”

He smiles cheekily, “ Wanna make it four ? ”

“ Are you crazy ?! ”

“ Yes, of course. Don’t you love me for it ? ” he coos in a sultry voice, coming to press a loving kiss to your damp cheek.

You feel his weight lift off the bed, you tiredly peek at where he’s going and – of course, like the sweet husband he is, he’s getting you a towel. You can hear his exhausted huffs of breath. There’s cream running down your slit, some smeared across your pussy and frothed up.

He comes back into the room, smiling admiringly at your sleepy body. You’re sinking into the pillows, too tired to think.

“ ‘toru . . . ”

“ Angel ? ” he hums in response, slowly starting to clean you up from the thighs up. You feel his big hands massaging the numbness out of your legs.

“ I love you. ”

He smirks and presses a kiss to your pussy from the back, making you giggle. “ Love you too, my girl. No one makes me feel better than you do. Come here. Haha, are your legs still numb ? Should I massage them more ? M'kay, sweet girl. ”

The silence is sweet and long. He's massaging your body, feeling over you like you're his little masterpiece, his little angel.

Then he breaks the silence.

“ Told you so. ” he smiles victoriously.

You groan. “ Shut up. I was just teasing when I said you had shit stamina ! ”

“ I know, but I still hated that you said it and felt the need to prove a point. ”

You snuggle into his chest, making his heart flutter like he's a boy with a crush again.

“ Yeah yeah, point proven. ”

“ Aaand what's the point ? Tell me, I wanna hear it. ” he teases.

“ You can go on for hours. ”

He smiles to himself. “ Damn right I can. Glad my good girl learned her lesson. ”

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[strangererotica]

EXPLICIT CONTENT | MINORS DNI

Mean!Dom!Joel Miller x Reader | Joel tames Reader’s bratty, bitchy attitude with a good hard FUCK | make-up sex but meaner 😈 | rough, rough sex | includes fingering, vaginal sex, Joel holds Reader’s throat (no choking) implied age gap, some butt stuff, use of ‘little girl,’ and ‘bitch,’ as demeaning terms, oral sex, spanking, degrading language used by both Joel & Reader

Joel’s eyes pierce through you, his voice simmering with anger. “If you run that little brat mouth of yours one more time, I swear to god-.”

“-What??” you taunt him. “What’re you gonna do, old man??” He doesn’t respond immediately, so you aggressively shove at his chest with both hands. “Tough guy??” you sneer. Joel clenches his fists in restraint. Your smile is intentionally cruel in an effort to provoke him. “You gonna hurt me, you fucking asshole??”

For a moment, a softness passes over his eyes; it never occurred to Joel that you’d imagine him capable of being violent toward you. He feels…heartbroken by your lack of trust in him, but refuses to let it show.

“Is that what you want?” Joel asks instead, forcing a coldness into his tone. “You want me to hurt you?” When you try to shove at his chest again, Joel is prepared for it this time. His big hands clamp around your wrists, his lips pressed into a hard line as he holds back your assault. You both grunt as he presses your hands back against your own chest, pinning them to you.

“You’re not doin’ shit to me, little girl,” Joel growls. “No matter how big you want to try ‘n make yourself-.” He removes one of his hands, proving that he can keep you restrained using only one. “-I’m still in charge…”

You glare at him, jutting your head forward so your spit lands directly on his mouth. Joel jerks at the sudden contact of your saliva hitting him, before scoffing and running his tongue over his lip to taste it. “That supposed to piss me off-?” Joel tugs one of your hands downward and rubs his erection against it. “-Or turn me on?” he asks. “Because to be fuckin’ honest-.” Joel grinds himself against the palm of your hand. “-It’s doin’ a bit of both…”

Your bitchy defenses are crumbling further by the second. At this point, you can’t even remember what prompted the fight you started with Joel. It began this morning, gradually building in intensity till it reached a boiling point five minutes ago. “…Joel,” you utter, your voice suddenly soft, and he sure as hell notices.

“Oh, now I’m Joel again?” he asks. “What happened to all those colorful names you were calling me, huh?” He smirks condescendingly, but his cock throbs against your hand. “Am I not an old man anymore? A fuckin’ asshole? Or-.” His eyebrow lifts, as if a sudden clarity has come over him. “Maybe what you meant to say-.” Joel reaches behind you and grips a handful of your ass, squeezing so hard you wince. “-Is that you want your asshole fucked?” His eyes are so dark, it’s almost frightening. “Does that sound about right?” Joel releases your ass, followed by a spanking so hard, tears form in your eyes.

You’ve gone uncharacteristically quiet after being humbled by Joel’s strength. “Now you’ve got nothin’ to say?” he snaps. Joel cups your hand over his erection and grinds against it. “About damn time you stopped fuckin’ disrespecting me,” he growls. “I can think of better uses for your dirty mouth, anyway.”

Joel’s hands go to your shoulders, pushing you down to your knees. Without a second thought, you reach for his belt, and he smacks your hand away, shaking his head at you. “Jesus,” he mutters. “This is how I know you were bein’ a bitch on purpose.” He unbuckles his belt and pulls it through the loops of his jeans, tossing it aside. “You wanna make it up to me bad, don’t you little girl?” He unzips his jeans and pulls his cock out, watching the shadow it casts over your hungry expression. Joel scoffs as if disgusted by your eagerness, but really, he’s getting off on it. “Quit embarrassing yourself and just start suckin’ it already,” he mutters down at you.

Joel’s cock points toward your lips, a dot of precum blossoming on its fat, ruddy tip. You swipe your tongue across it, collecting the pearly liquid. He takes his cock by the base and smacks it heavy against your cheek. “I said suck it,” he scolds. “Not give it a fuckin’ kiss.” Joel grabs you by the hair and pulls your lips over his cock, thrusting back and forth inside your mouth. “Have to do everything myself,” he grunts as you struggle to take him, spit bubbling around your lips and dripping to the floor. Joel’s body is curved forward, his stomach tensed as he fucks down your throat. He feels your muscles constrict quickly, telling him you’re about to vomit. Joel pulls out long enough for you to swallow back the vomit and catch your breath, his hand still locked in your hair, then immediately pulls you back over his cock and continues to selfishly use your throat.

When he feels the threat of vomit approaching again, Joel decides you’ve had enough. He wipes away the bubbly spit and mucus smeared over your face and neck. “On your back,” Joel orders, tugging his shirt over his head. “Panties off, NOW.” He nestles between your legs, spitting on two of his fingers before abruptly forcing them inside your cunt. Your eyes go wide, your back arching into a crescent as the sudden penetration overwhelms you. “You can take it,” Joel assures you, resting his cheek against your inner thigh, occasionally kissing the soft skin there while he fingers you. “Been smellin’ this little pussy all day, y’know that?” Joel smirks. “All the time we were goin’ back and forth at each other, I knew you were makin’ a mess all over your panties…”

Joel yanks his fingers from inside you and spanks your pussy, making you cry out. He doesn’t give you any time to recover before shoving his fingers back inside, pumping your guts like he’s angry at them. “You need an attitude adjustment,” Joel mutters darkly. “And probably a back adjustment too, by the time I’m done with you.” He flips you onto your stomach with his fingers still inside you. There’s a pressure against your asshole as Joel pushes his thumb just past its puckering barrier, penetrating you there as well. “Look at that,” he says, admiring the way you wiggle your hips to encourage him. “Keep pushin’ back on me like that ‘n I’ll put another finger inside you. Wear you like a fuckin’ puppet.” Joel chuckles darkly, his fingers toying inside your holes. “Guess that’d be one way to fix your brat mouth, wouldn’t it? Make you my little puppet so you can’t talk shit anymore.”

He pulls his fingers from your pussy and pops them in his mouth, sucking your arousal off of them with a groan. “Fuckin’ heaven,” he murmurs. “There’s nothin’ I’d rather do more than to bury my face in your sweet little cunt and lick you till you’re beggin’ me to quit,” Joel adds. “But that’d be a treat, and you don’t deserve it after the way you bitched at me all afternoon.”

He’s kneeling between your legs, his eyes coasting over your back and ass, admiring the pretty marks his hand left on it. He spits into his palm and takes hold of his cock, pressing his tip just against your asshole. He feels you tense, and smirks behind you. “Don’t worry sweetheart,” Joel teases, guiding his tip lower. “I’m not gonna put it in your ass.” He spanks you with his cock, your lips quivering around his tip. “God knows if I did, you’d make a mess all over the place and have to spend the night cleaning shit and cum out of the carpet.” Joel bucks into your pussy without warning, your lips parting in a low groan. “This way,” he breathes against your neck, his body curved over yours. “All you’ll be cleaning up is cum.”

Joel closes his hand around your throat, holding you in place with your back in an arch. He forces his cock as deeply inside you as possible, pulling back a little when he feels your cervix against his tip. “Hold still,” he gruffly orders. “You want to make things right between us, don’t you?”

You nod as best you can with Joel’s hand around your throat.

“Then be a good girl and lay here while I use you, understand?”

He lets you answer definitively, just to check in and make sure you’re alright. Joel may have been hurt and pissed off by your antics earlier this afternoon, but under no circumstances would he ever abuse you. He needs to know you’re alright with the kind of language he’s using, and the easiest way to do that while remaining somewhat threatening is to ask, “You think you’re ready to take what I’m about to give you?”

“Yes,” you reply without hesitation, knowing full well that if you said no, Joel would immediately stop. “I’ve been such a bad girl.” You feel his cock twitch inside you, so you keep going. “Need you to teach me a lesson…”

…And Joel does. He beats your pussy into submission, fucking you like he hates you when in reality, Joel doesn’t think he could love you more without his heart bursting open. He’s laying across your back, his body almost flush with yours, hands pinning your wrists to the ground beside your head. He rests his forehead against the back of your hair, panting hot and wet over your neck. With his big hand still closed around your throat, Joel pistons into you so hard your tits are smacking against his forearm with every thrust.

Your ass bounces off his stomach each time they collide, his cock punching frenetically between your warm, moist walls. Joel feels himself getting close, and prays he has the self control to pull out in time. You’re fluttering around him in a way that tells him you’re on the edge as well, so he continues to fuck you at the same pace that’s brought you both to this point.

When you start to come, Joel has to pull out. He knows you don’t want to get pregnant right now and as deeply as he’s fucking you, there’s no way his cum would end up anywhere other than all over your cervix if he stayed inside you.

As soon as Joel pulls out, he stuffs two fingers back inside of you and keeps up the same pace as his cock before. You ride out your orgasm on his fingers, while Joel uses his other hand to stroke himself. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl,” he pants over your back, letting go of his cock just long enough to give your ass two hard swats. “Keep squeezin’ my fingers, just like that, fuck…” Joel closes his eyes and lets out a string of curses, his cock spilling warm and white all over his lap.

Your cheek is resting against the floor, a contented smile on your lips when Joel catches you watching him. “So,” he pants, trying to catch his breath. “Are we good, little girl?”

You bite your lip, nodding affirmatively. “Yeah,” you reply, your eyes getting heavy. “We’re definitely good.”

[coffeewithcocoa]

Drunk Confessions

Prologue

Human Alastor x Male Reader

I’m spitting random shit outta my ass and this is one of them.

(LOOK AT THIS MAN! MY EYES ARE BEING BLESSED!)

———————————————————————

You and Alastor were good friends. The best even! You too have been growing up together and both your parents have loved seeing you both do everything together. Whenever someone would push him down you would be at his side helping him, same went for you. He chose to be more violent though.

Even when you both were teens that didn’t plan on splitting you up. Though when you did have to move back to Europe, you and him realized that you wouldn’t be able to talk.

So you just declined moving back there all together. Your parents kept trying to say that it was for the better and you’ll visit soon but that didn’t convince you. It took 18 hours, with the help of Alastor’s mom, to get you to leave.

Tears ran down your face as you remembered all the good times with him.

-

“AHEM-!” Someone snapped you out of your thoughts. “HM- Yes Mimzi?” You chuckled at the embarrassment, that was probably like the fifth time today. “How about you go talk to him. You’ve been gawkin’ at him ever since he walked in!”

She did have a point. “No thank you, Mimzi.” You turned your attention back over to the bartender. “Another drink please Husker?” He rolled his eyes and fetched you another drink. “Thank you~!” You sang out to him.

“Look..you high haven’t talked ever since you moved.” Mimzi said to get your attention turned back towards her. “Just try and talk to him again?” She spoke again, rising an eyebrow at you

“I would love to..I truly would, but it’s been so long and..WHERE are you going?!” She chuckled as she got up from her chair. Her height being very noticeable as her flapper dress straightened out from being seated.

“If you’re not gonna do it, then I am sweetheart.” She waved her hand at you as she moved closer to your old friend. “Here’s your drink..” You quickly got up from your chair, ‘shit!’ But when you got there it was too late. You quickly turned your heals and walked back to your spot.

“Thank you again for the drink Husk.” You snatched the drink that he healed and left to the back room of the speakeasy. God, you hated when people fought your own battles for you. You get that they’re trying to help but damn.

You closed the door with a nice click noise. A soft sigh slipped past you, taking a nice sip from the whiskey that you so desired. The room that you were in held all kinds of liquor. Starting from whiskey and ending at wine.

‘Looks like I can drink myself to death over here.’ You quickly downed the rest of your drink like it was a shot and grabbed a similar bottle to the Whiskey you liked. Opening it with a nice pop sound, you started refilling your glass with it.

The smell of liquor quickly filled the room. A satisfied hum came out from you as you decided to drink your way till you were drunk. Even though that was pretty risky but you didn’t care.

“Anyways Alastor, sweetheart, how have you been doing?” Mimzi smiled at Alastor as her and him were walking back got the area that she was last seen with you. “Oh I’ve been doing quite alright! The radio broadcasts have been just swell!” He chuckled out in his normal happy self.

Mimzi made a lip smack sound, “Well isn’t that just nice. I’ll be happy to let you know that..where the fuck did he go.” She blinked at your seat a couple of times before turning around to face the taller person.

She chuckled out loud while tinkering with her gloves. “Okay look. I didn’t lie to you but he did disappear.” Her voice wasn’t that confident. Since Husk was right there he scoffed, calling her out on her fake bullshit. “You were the one who fucking scared him off, son of a bitch.” He mumbled the last part so the both of them wouldn’t hear.

“What did I do to scare him off?!” Mimzi started getting defensive. “You called over the very fuckin’ person that he didn’t want to talk to.” Husk blinked at Mimzi before heading away. Alastor just stood there smiling before moving towards Husk.

“Hello old pal.” Alastor gave Husk one of the fakest smiles know to him. “The fuck you want.” Husk turned around so he could clean some bottles. “I just have a favor.” Alastor chuckled. “No need to get all pissy now. I just want you to know where you saw him go!” Alastor said taking a glass of Whiskey.

———————————————————————

I’m going to write a part 1. For right now I guess this is a prologue! FEAST MY LOVELY CHILDREN>:)

Part 1

[skullcfusher]

Ok guys I tried 2 hold back but too bad I'm posting headcanons🙌

I am going to tell u about Kate and Toby cause I love them ok. They are soooo sibling guys plz they play fight like hell and argue like siblings and they do shit for each other like siblings ok I DON'T MAKE THE RULES (I did actually.)

So with the small stupid comic I posted yesterday if u can even call it that, I think Tim owns this truck right and it's a beat up 2 seater ok and Tim drives and Brian is the passenger princess and then Toby and Kate are the two freaks who have to sit in the actual truck bed and they are actually so funny back there. I think Toby is actually a smart guy he just doesn't show it well okay because look at him, and Kate didn't even finish middle school cause she was RLLY young when slender got to her and so she's just actually not the sharpest tool in the shed okay she's a creature and I like to think Toby teaches her stuff so like imagine they are in the truck bed ok "Kate.. Kate.. Kate dude.." "Toby shh.. shut tf up" "no Kate dude look.. look at that caterpillar it's really cool it's actual-" "I don't care about that Toby shut up" and he's like "Ohhh okay so god forbid I try to teach you smth." And she's like "Shut up before I push you out of the truck" and he's like "Omfg fine good maybe I'll die this time and you'll be stuck doing a mission with Tim and Brian ALONE you freak" and they just continue to bicker. Tim and Brian don't really like Kate they think she's a monster and don't like her cause in my mind she's the person who tormented them and brought them to Slender's doorstep basically and so they just rlly don't like her LMFAO and I don't blame them either but Kate doesn't really talk to people until Mr. Tobias comes around ok like she lives in those dirty ass mines and hasn't changed her clothes like ever ok so Toby shows up and is like damn bitch you live like this!?? And he immediately starts giving her stuff like clothes he can't fit anymore, maybe a mattress and lots of food and just random shit to do, he convinces her to come around to the proxy cabin more and more and smth I thought would be funny is if Tim and Brian come home from whatever and they just see Kate munchin on a sandwich like it's the best shit she's ever had in her life (it probably is) and Toby is just chillin with her and Tim and Brian are like "what the fuck get out?? Why is she here??" And Toby is like "Dude relaaaax she's not even doing anything" and Kate gives ZERO fucks LMFAO SHE'S LOVING THAT SANDWICH SOO MUCH SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HER LMFAO. Following proxy shenanigans I like to think Kate and Toby wrestle a lot, you can't put a boy who can't feel pain and a really strong girl next to each other and be best friends and them not fuckin duke it out ok I like to think Nina visits the cabin one day and she opens the door and sees Toby fly over the couch and watch Kate jump after him and they are Rollin around on the ground fighting and Nina is like freaking out "OH MY GOD R U GUYS OK IS THIS THE VIOLENT SLENDER SICKNESS Y'ALL TALK AB" and they stop and look at her like ??? Huh CAUSE TO THEM THEY ARE JUST PLAYIN (I don't blame Nina either like Toby's bleeding from his nose and Kate has a busted lip LMFAOA and they've got like scratches all over)

Ok so I wanna touch on angst cause it's not head cannons unless we're kinda sad actually so like Slender def punishes his proxies ok like when they do smth wrong like fuckin up a mission or like commiting friendly fire on another proxy, so when Kate gets punished I like to think Toby will sit with her and hold onto her while she's freaking out cause it's not just like ohh she's kinda sick no like her fingernails tore off from her tearing at the ground she's screaming until her vocal cords can't make anymore noise she's losing it and Toby sits with her like if she just needs smth to lean on, if she needs something to grab or even something to hurt he's holding onto her like she's gonna die like he already lost one sister ok he's not losing this one too LMFAO and then after it passes I like to think he bandages up her hands, similar to how Toby's mom used to bandage his hands after he chewed his skin off yk?? Ok that's all for this post perhaps goodnight fellas

[bapydemonprincess]

Concern

"Oi," A familiar drawl snaps the butler out of his brief mental check of today's chore list. Chin pinched with black gloves. Looking off into nothing.

Currently both the Gardener and Young Master are standing by, all taken care of; bundled up for the winter chill that has hit them hard this year.

The Young Master insisted vehemently to accompany him and Finnian on their wood gathering. Saying all but "I'm completely done with all my work thus far on my studies, I assure you. so let me get out of this blasted stuffy room for once."

Again in the present Sebastian is still mulling over what he'll be shouldered with after their stroll, and so he still doesn't hear (or more like refuses to acknowledge) the chef approaching them, a purpose in his stomping gait as he arrives right in front of the other man.

"Oi, what th'ell you doin', Sebastian, eh?"

He briefly pinches the end of Sebastian's scarf he threw on half-hazardly, violently shakes it for emphasis, then let's it drop again.

All while looking the butler in the eye as if suddenly he wants to have a bout right there in the main entryway.

"You tryin' t'catch yer death on purpose or wot?"

Sebastian practically snorts, but refrains, lips twitching at this sudden appearance of Mother Henning from the usually unbothered and lazy as-all-get-out chef.

"Oh, is there a problem, Bardroy? Would me being a little chilled while going out for but a mere half an hour bother you?"

"Oh you think you'd be just a "little chilled" eh? Thinkin' you wouldn't come back an' end up catchin' a cold or flu, or even bloody pneumonia with 'ow god awful it is out there, eh?"

He waves briefly over to the boys awkwardly standing near by.

"Meanwhile you got them all bundled up fit for endurin' a winter storm!"

"One: They are children and I am not. Two, Bardroy: it certainly is not my first English Winter, trust me, three-"

Bardroy grabs both ends of the loose scarf and this time tugs firmly, making the taller man prattling before him practically fall forward.

But he doesn't.

Bardroy's firm grip makes sure the other man merely is forced right into his face.

Their foreheads knocking gently, as Sebastian's eyes open wider and stare in pure surprise, those thin eyebrows lifted up high for once.

"Listen 'ere, you," Bard growls low, "believe it or not, the deep south o' Arizona an the like get bloody cold as fuck, got it? In the deserts at night a man can freeze t'death before 'e even realizes it. So don't. Fuck. Wiff cold. Don't ya dare go an' fuck with those harsh winter woods, with these boys on tow, an' next thing ya know Finny's gotta carry back a long ass big ol icle of a butler, prolly cryin' all the fuckin' way, too."

He stops. Finally. Panting a little from this tangent out of no where, noticeably getting red in the face too.

And the butler, still enduring having his face pressed into Bard's the entire time... stars to smile.

And his eyes go half lidded again.

Shimmering and dancing with amusement aplenty.

"Ah, so it would bother you to some extent, then. I see."

And he says it so softly it's almost a whisper, or like just a comment he's making to himself.

Growling again the other man pushes this time, in order to straighten Sebastian up and push him a few inches away.

However he doesn't let him go for long. Oh no, the chef proceeds to grumble under his breath (something about "damn stupid pretty boy with no bloody sense a' self preservation I swear-") as he unwraps the butler's scarf from around his neck and then leans in further, almost aggressively thrusting himself up close again, to wind it back round him. Tighter, more hugging his neck, and finishes with tying what is left somehow.

"There, that's better," Bard openly comments, looking still mad about it but now satisfied with himself as he pulls back a little. But quickly, idly, pats the other man's coat front as if to confirm everything is good.

"I'd also suggest a cap o' some kind too, awright. Somethin' like the scarf. Damn the consequences o' messin' up yer pretty hair an' all that, it's about survival and nothin' else, you 'ear me?'

He finally shuts up this time, really meeting Sebastian's eyes this time, and so invested in this he's expecting to see some kind of expression of grat-

Sebastian sweeps in to kiss the man's cheek.

"Thank you dear," he purrs.

And then he's turning back to the boys and trotting to the door with purpose.

"Now. Let's carry on, before we lose anymore daylight, hm? Follow me."

And Sebastian, the Young Master, and Finny are almost out the door.

When the demon hears the familiar loud groan of a man who's just realized his predicament he's gotten himself into coming from back inside.

And Sebastian allows himself the pleasure to grin to himself, eyes shut, looking the picture of a creature who's just won a hard fought battle and all the spoils that entails.

Note: this whole scene is inspired by that now famous kuro chapter title page from chapter 198:

[evilminji]

Wait a second...

You know how the Lazarus pit heal past injuries? I may be reading to many Trans!Danny fics or something but? How god damn PISSED would you be? There you are, heroically doing hero shit, going "Fuck you, Ra's!" As ya do, when... Oh no! You've been Le Stabbed!

Well shit... that looks both deep AND fatal!

You had a good run, you think. Saved some people. Were hot AF fuck doing it. Well, time to tearfully say goodbye to your best buddies while choking to death on your own insides. But what's this? Your team mate coming to SUPLEX YOU INTO THE GOO!!!??

Oh shit that burn! AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAARCHPLRGPPPPPGURGLE! *GOO NOISES* Oh Shit, I'm alive! Pissed and seeing green but ALI-.....

And then you look down.

Motherfucking GOO undid your fucking SURGERIES! You have (or NO LONGER HAVE your) bazongazas. Chest meats! You paid A LOT OF MONEY TO FIX THAT. It's on your god damn MEDICAL RECORDS. They are GOING to ask questions if you just SHOW UP and ask for them to REDO IT.

Insurance won't fuckin cover MAGIC GOO PITS. Oh look! THERES THE PIT RAGE KICKING IN! *unholy rage noises*

Like priority wise, yeah, the assassins are PROBABLY a more immediate issue? But what the FUCK, MAN D:< Transphobic Goo Pit! "Thats not how it wor-" TRANSPHOBIC. GOO. PIT!!! You gonna cover my SECOND round of surgeries, Mr "um, actually-"?! *sounds of horrific violence against Assassins*

Cause like? It would "fix" any surgery you had. Including preventive, cosmetic, life saving, general affirming, etc. The Pits are dumb. The hit a Reset on the you and everything else is a You issue. Sorry you have those "high risk of cancer" boobs Miss So-n-So! Shouldn't have got in the pit! Oh those wisdom teeth that won't fit in your mouth have VIOLENTLY forced their way back in, making horribly crooked your once perfect and expensive smile? Yooooouuuu proooooobleeeem~~~

[arminsumi]

🔞 playtime w enemy!gojo

g. satoru — さとる

NOTE: i think abt this idea all the time n i just thought id gift u all a piece of mean nasty enemy gojo lusting for u

WARNINGS — ignore errors pls, smut, he's mean he's a jerk but he kinda feels for u, blood mentions, fighting, m*sturbation, he jerkin it to a pic he snapped of ur defeated face 🫠 sexual tension, impact play (slapping n spanking), dirty talk, namecalling (sl*t, wh*re, b*tch, freak) and nicknames (bunny, sweetheart, baby), dirty talk, unprotected sex, taboo sex (fucking ur enemy) creampie, it's nasty im ngl, god kink thing??? he rlly cums n goes 🧍‍♀️, hairpulling

just... just enemy!gojo...

enemy!gojo kissing you like he's trying to kill you. you can feel this murderous rage on his lips after you fuck up his heroic plans.

and enemy!gojo fighting you like he's trying to get in your pants 🥴 he hates you so much, but let's be real he's in fucking denial and needs you so bad. after fights, he's cooped up in his bedroom jerking off to the memory of all those positions he put you in. ("ooh, well aren't you flexible?" he teases when he literally puts you into a full-nelson. "hey, if this whole villain business fails for you then you can be my personal pornstar.")

his whole body feels like it's on fire when you're throwing fists with him. he shakes not from exhaustion or pain but just pure sexual desire. he gets so upclose and personal with you, you're sure it's on purpose. when you're limp and defeated, he takes a victory picture :( grabs your jaw and says "smile for the camera! aw, pretty lil' loser. you're so photogenic!" and you know when he gets home, he's gonna jerk off to that.

he can barely take your martial arts seriously, because you're so fucking tiny and weak in comparison to him. enemy!gojo likes to remind you of that, when he has you on your knees with your nose dribbling blood.

"aw, sweetheart, you're so fucking weak it's kinda turning me on."

he's got a fistfull of your hair, forcing your head to tilt back so violently yet when you look up at him, you can't help but feel this raw sexual tension and primal need to kiss him and worship him.

"f—fuck you, gojo — y-you're a freak. you think you're god... but you're a monstrous freak."

he's looking at you. and you're not sure if that's a murderous look or a pure lustful look — is he gonna kill you or fuck you? in his mind, though, the idea of killing you long faded away; you're his favorite enemy. what would he do without you? fighting with you is just the best, he gets to joke and tease and flirt and pester you and see you enjoying it wholeheartedly.

"bunny, look how cute you are, bleeding for me."

when you try spit your blood at him to retaliate, he's considering pulling his zipper down and stuffing your stupid mouth full of his cock. now that would put him on a power trip like nothing else.

then imagine the day this needy, desperate man actually snaps. and you snap. and the both of you fuck like bunnies. panting and feral. he couldn't say no when you started begging on your bruised knees for him to just fuck you already, just split you open on his cock.

his thrusts are primal. he's mocking you, voice so venemously attractive.

"wh—what would your friends think now, huh? think they'd still trust you knowing how willingly you spread your fuckin' legs for me? you damn slut. 'seen the way you look at me, gets me hot every time. you don't have any fucking idea what you do to me, do you? ha—ahhh that's so good... that's so fucking good..." his voice is usually so composed even when fighting, but when he's balls deep fucking up your guts so passionately then his voice becomes strained.

and he loves hearing your cute dirty talk, but you've got such a small voice he thinks it's cutely pathetic.

"f-fuck, g-g—gooojo ~ ! fuck me like you hate me."

he chuckles, "oh, baby. i don't have to fake it. i hate you so — fucking — much — ahhh — damn bitch, making my life so hard the least y-you could do is let me have this pussy once a week."

"a-anything for you."

his heart flutters. why? you're his enemy he reminds himself and makes his thrusts meaner and harder until you can't form a coherent thought. he relishes in your screaming moans, and there's no end to the teasing. as soon as he notices something he comments on it.

"ooh, look at that little pussy cream for me. who's it creaming for? who? that's fucking right, me. yeah stay like that and take my cock."

"o—h my god, nnn ~ !" you squeal, feeling almost too good with your threatening orgasm.

"ah-ah, there's no god but me, baby. i'm the one making this pussy freak out. ooh... think you're right, i do have a god complex. why don't you indulge in it? yeah? c'mon, baby i'm your god."

"y—you're m-my g–god, satoruuuh ~ ! ow!"

he plants a hard slap to your face. you're no stranger to his mean slaps, in fact you've joked to yourself about being his favorite bitch to slap. but that one in particular hurt, and you loved it.

"don't say my fucking name like we're friends, you freak. f—fuck... you like that, don't you? yeah? little freaky bitch likes getting slapped? mmm that's cute. kinky litttle fucking whore, let's see how hard this pathetic pussy can cum."

he pumps his cock into you at such a mean angle that you completely lose yourself, babbling obscenities and trembling in his strong hold. you couldn't free yourself from his grip even if you wanted to; he's the strongest, after all.

you get a good idea of how strong he is when you fight and sneak off to fuck.

the way he presses down on your back, the way he bullies his cockhead so deep that it feels like he's in your tummy, the way he pulls both your arms back with a rough tug like you're a ragdoll — just his fleshlight that he can move on his cock himself however he likes because he's so much bigger than you.

"gonna cum, my little slut gonna take it? yeah? good. that's what i like to fucking hear — oh fuck — ahhhah cumming — hah fuck that's good — that's — mmm — that's my fuckin' girl."

he plants rough spanks to your ass, groaning so deeply and holding you so close against his body that you feel like you're one with him.

"ooh, fuck..." he pulls out hastily, zipping himself up. forehead and abs beading with sweat. "thanks, love playtime with you. now get the fuck out of my sight." he sounds so sweet and venomous that you can't tell if he's joking, but then you remember a cold hard fact;

gojo satoru is your enemy.

[alexsoenomel]

Sugar (Joel Miller x Reader smutty drabble)

Note: I'm studying for my exams and been thinking about this DILF for a while now. So I wrote this smutty thing today.

18+ MINORS FLY AWAY PLS

You felt his arm around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You weren't asleep, you couldn't sleep, not without him. You have been sleeping next to him for so long, you forgot what it was like not having him next to you.

"Hey, sugar," he whispered in your ear before placing a kiss under it. "I missed you."

You shivered and rubbed your ass against his semi hard cock, knowing damn well where this was going.

It had been a while; between your jobs and constant stress you barely saw each other. It had been a while since you had fun – any kind of fun.

Tonight, Joel decided to break that cycle.

"I missed you too, handsome." You turned around to face him in the darkness, placing both of your hands on his face, feeling his rough beard in your fingers. He smelled like pines and something that could only be described as Joel – fresh and comforting. He kissed you immediately, forcefully opening your mouth with his tongue, letting you know he was desperate. You moaned into the kiss, as he pushed you into the mattress, climbing on top of you not breaking the kiss. He was addicted and wanted the kiss to last forever.

"I missed you so much," you said as he lowered his lips on your neck.

"S'long," He mumbled between kisses. "Sweet girl."

He would usually take his time with you, but tonight was different, tonight something borderline animalistic woke up inside him – he just knew he had to have you, all of you. His fingers found your clit as he touched it briefly as a deep sigh left your lips.

"You're soaked, sugar. All for me?" He asked, desperately wanting to hear your cracking voice again.

As you were about to answer he pushed two fingers inside making you arch your back a little, pathetically moaning his name.

"Yes, all for you. Only you," you managed to say.

He smirked in the darkness and kissed you again, fingers slowly pumping inside you.

"Joel! Fuck!"

He was inches away from you, his nose brushing lightly against yours.

"God, I love that sound!"

He loved it, but couldn't wait. Once he pulled away, you frowned, but he didn't notice. He sucked his fingers dry and took off your panties and his boxers.

When he entered you, a familiar sensation of his thick cock stretching you completely took over as you moaned in sync.

Fuckin' finally.

You thought as he started moving, establishing a pace. You missed him being on top of you and lightly squishing you with his weight. You hated how life sometimes would get in the way. You didn't have time nor energy to watch a movie together let alone fuck.

Soon enough he was violently slamming into you, resting his head on your shoulder since it felt so fucking good to finally be inside you it made him feel dizzy.

"Joel, Joel, Joel," he only heard, making him lose his mind, turning off every ounce of sanity he had in that moment. Your hands were in his hair, tugging and pulling as you left your orgasm approaching.

"Joel, I'm coming!"

He groaned as he slammed his hips even harder, and harder, and harder.

"OH MY GOD!"

No man had ever made you feel like this, no man had ever satisfied you like he had.

You rode your orgasm as he kept moving until he came inside you, dripping in sweat, his voice only knowing the sound of your name.

He collapsed on top of you, while still inside you and you took his head in your hands, forcing him to look at you. Your silhouette was so gentle and your eyes sparkling…His feelings on fire. With you he wasn't just breathing.

"I love you." You finally said.

"I love you too, sugar," he said right back.

[eyesteeth]

tsv ramblies, spoilers for the most recent public episode

[I AM NOT ON THE PATREON. IF THERE ARE SPOILERS ON THE PATREON DO NOT PUT THEM ON THIS POST.]

i did post that mini doodle with the caveat of it being a joke because i feel it’d be too low-octane for this late in the series. that particular scenario would depend upon faulkner remaining in the room with rane’s corpse for like seven minutes and somehow not killing himself asap or leaving. while that could happen i think the likelihood is Low. my more realistic vision (plus pure self indulgence + themes overload) is:

since rane literally died like Seven Minutes Ago in canon carpenter is going to be taken to the Big Room only to see rane’s corpse floating in the pool and faulkner not being there

while the person who took carpenter in freaks out over the body, carpenter Instantly deduces what has happened and is like “oh he’s on some horseshit isn’t he. god fuckin damn it”

MARCO POLO ROUND THREE BABY but this time she’s initiating it because she’s the one trying to find him. marcoing up and down the halls and the outside, running around trying to find him

meanwhile he’s off trying to find a good place to die and vaguely hearing her in this distance is Doing Things To Him. my guess here splits in two ways:

he thinks he’s hallucinating because of grief and the god-winds in the area (he is outside)

he’s actively drowning himself at this point and thinks her voice is her calling him to the other side so he starts Drowning Himself Harder (could be outside or inside)

(if it’s the latter i want her to very forcefully wrench him out by the back of the hair for Maximum Disorientation and then shake him like “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??”)

AND THEN… SIBLINGS FIGHT TIME

except personally i think it’s going to be more verbal than physical. i said it ages back but if faulkner looks wretched enough i don’t think carpenter’s going to kill him. and given how it was pretty much stated outright two episodes ago that he’s planning to Finally Do It i don’t think she’d go for it. her character has developed enough that she’s not going to smack around someone visibly trying to commit suicide

i think it’d be much tastier if he asks her to kill him and she’s like “no, live with the consequences of your actions. i’m leaving. if you want to follow me, follow away, just don’t piss me off.” but just because it’s tasty that doesn’t mean it’s realistic

THOUGH I COULD ALSO SEE: faulkner being so hysterically out of it that his mind draws the conclusion of “no i need to have All my family there in the garden she’s fucking up the plan. i need us to both die asap” at which point carpenter engages in self defense and that’s when the “[vigorous shaking] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” happens

generally i feel like because they’re both in the “i don’t want to kill anyone but i will if it’s for you” spot in their arcs that they’re not going to actually get too violent with each other but that might just be me coping lol. i just can’t really see carpenter bashing faulkner’s face in and faulkner already tried to kill himself because he thought he had killed her, i think killing her For Realsies is off the table because of that. with the exception of the previously mentioned scenario. thought he’s so out of it at this point who fucking knows tbh

i didn’t think power of love was gonna make it earlier on the season but honestly the power of love might cinch this we’ll just have to see

also if they both make it out whatever fight they’re gonna have i think that a) faulkner is going to ask carpenter to call him richard for however long they still have together and b) he is going to have INSANE attachment issues for the duration

i still think this is going to end with an apocalypse/soft reset ordeal btw. either everyone dies because nothing of the old world can remain, and that means nothing, or some new godless reality gets created and they all live in that (personally i think the latter is too sweet and too neat for this series. however such a reset with a “you never met” caveat would be bittersweet enough imo. the love was there etc etc)

i just, most vitally, want faulkner to be visibly committing/about to commit when they reunite because i like the whole platonic romeo and juliet sleeping drug/poison/knife ass shenanigans they’re doing. shaking faulkner like “NOOOO YOU NEED TO OPEN THE COFFIN BEFORE YOU DRINK THE POISON !!!!! THE TRUTH OF HER LIVING IS BUT A STONE’S TOSS AWAY !!!!!!!!”

and also i want him to be a babbling incoherent mess sobbing to the point of almost throwing up aha who said that

[the-fictive-haven]

Seeing as we just had someone new arrive from another Circus yet again, I think it's finally time to do a - drumroll please - ... ✨sourcemate search!✨

We are looking for fictives/introjects from The Amazing Digital Circus to chat and hopefully become friends with host Yami and our own Circus gang! EVERYONE Circus related is welcome! Doubles? No problem. Traumagenic system? Great. Endo or self made? Awesome. You are or feel you're the same as the original? Cool! You're canon divergent or from an alternate world? Come on in! This is a safe space for all fictives and their sysmates.

Finding sourcemates would be awesome, but canonmates even more so! We'll give a quick description of everyone so you can get a better idea of who they are and if you'd like to get to know them, or if you may already know them!

Meet the cast;

>This group are all from the same timeline, which is very similar to the original one, but with some different events. All of them have memory of these same canon divergent happenings, or if not, have at the very least accepted the others as their canonmates.

(OG) Pomni - the first Circus introject to show up here. Nervous, breaks under pressure, prone to small outbursts, but a sweet girl and a good friend nonetheless.

(OG) Jax - has a bit of a softer side (don't tell him I said that) and more teasing and annoying than an outright violent jerk. Makes fun of me any chance he gets.

(OG) Ragatha - yeah she's the same personality-wise as the original canon, actually. One of the system "moms" and caretakers. Fuckin love her. So gay for this bitch.

(OG) Gangle - also the same. Clings to me like glue half the time because apparently I'm her security blanket or something, not that I mind. I have gotten the Jaxes to stop bullying her, though, even if only because I'm basically god here and they don't want to get put in time-out out of bounds (lol)

(OG) Zooble - we don't know a lot about her, actually. She doesn't bother to interact with anyone much and most of the time we have no idea where TF she is.

(OG) Caine - ... Caine.

>Everyone hereafter hails from an alternate reality! All of these divergent worlds are given codenames that'll be used when referencing these headmates to make distinguishing them easier.

The Darkside timeline: DS!Pomni - a more jaded and done-with-this-shit Pomni from a world where basically, everyone fucking died (abstracted). Her colour scheme is black, dark purple, and silver/grey. She usually appears glitched in our headspace, the abnormalities growing worse when she's distressed.

The Chain timeline: Chain!Jax - a more quiet Jax who keeps to himself and quite frankly doesn't give a damn. Dresses differently (sassy leather and jewelry type shit) and smokes for some odd reason, I don't even know where he's getting cigs from. The name of this timeline doesn't have much actual significance, it just needed to be named something.

The Ura timeline: Ura!Gangle - her default is comedy and she refuses to return to tragedy, literally destroying the mask and not looking back. While she may feel happier, the lack of balance has essentially made it turn into full-on mania and she'll carry on how she wants with no regard or notice of how it affects others. Also she has no sense of personal space. Her memories show that her world's Jax had grown low-key scared of her, she may have even bullied him back. Ribbons are blue instead of red.

That's everyone for now! But more are bound to keep coming in so we'll update this post as needed. Feel free to send asks, reply, repost, or message us!

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[white-collar-cannibal]

i basically typed my live reactions in to the ask box lmfao sorry

THE PART WHERE THEYRE LOOKING AT HIS FACE FOR THE FIRST(?) TIME AND SEEING THEIR DEATH AUUUUUAUAUAUUUUAUAU some of these lines /vpos

niki. niki. what are you doing niki. what are you doing niki

nooo frank :(( "how easily his bones could be yours" holy fucking shit i got chills /vpos

chutzpah!!! yiddish my beloved <3

not them making hetch fucking laugh omfg

"“Hey, don’t get a big head. They only put you on all the marketing because you’re pretty.” i'm gonna kill myself aaaaaaaaaah it's ramping up the lie is being taken-

the bit about breathing hetch's exhaled air oh my fucking god that was so good

UGRH i love the fact that ranboo hates what theyre doing, wishes they didnt, hates that hetch might be attracted to them, but theyre still doing it because of that god damn guilt, it's always the guilt, for what they think theyve done

OH MY GOD THE KISS I FUCKING SCREAMED

that scene was so- beautifully pulled off omfg. like as opposed to an actual romance, where the tension builds, and you're rooting 'kiss kiss kiss,' it was sudden, you could tell they didn't want to, but felt they had to, and the whole way that was written spoke to that and it was fucking amazing

also the fact that theyre embarassed is vvvv interesting... this entire concept makes me feral

ohhhhh my godddd the next bit. author (idk your name?? white collar? lmao sorry) i do not even know how to tell you how incredibly well done that was. ranboo fuckin- thinking about how they would kill hetch, as he kisses them, I CANNOT COHERENTLY EXPRESS HOW GOOD THAT IS YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA

anyway. god damn. ranboo is an amazing actor. i almost feel bad for hetch. almost. (i am afraid for what will happen to them this entire dynamic is so gloriously fucked up i adore it a bit too much)

the other actors are going to find out at some point and it's going to be horrible i just know it

i cannot imagine what can possible happen in the eight-ish remaining chapters but i am sure it will be devastating and incredible and i am going to be here for it

there were other things i was going to say but i forgot them. OH RIGHT just that this fic is my new hyperfixation yippeee kudos to you again for writing it!

—afternoon anon

eeeeeeeeeeee thank you!!!!!!! i can never abandon this fic now you people depend on me. i'm so glad that other people love this fic as much as i do writing it.

and the guilt!!!! you get it it's the guilt forever!!!! guilt is so incredibly tied into how i read glanboo and it's very fun to put them in a Situation where like. king is the guilt helping. is this really the right idea or are you just trying to hurt yourself.

and the kiss scene oh my god that hurt to write i was going "i'm CRINGE i'm CRINGE" the entire time but the violent interstitials were absolutely my favorite bit i loved the realization they could go there it's. chef's kiss i'm so glad other people liked that.

there may??? only be six additional chapters? no one look at me i'm working things out. but nevertheless we are going some Places i am so excited to take y'all to!!!

(as what will be a perpetual aside the seeing your death thing is pulled from p.219 of harrow the ninth, "Ianthe looked at you, and in the paleness of her skin and in the shadows of her lips was her death, and yours.")

[itsdappleagain]

HELLO AND WHAT IS UP GUYS TODAY WE'RE DOING ANOTHER CS WEEKLY POST A DAY LATE

okay enough youtuber intro. gross

ITS TIME FOR THE FISHY DOUBLOON CAPER!! Not my favorite, admittedly, but some great moments in there for sure (see: carmen gets put in a fairly desperate situation for the first time in the series as carmen. nice.)

OKAY HERE WE GO notes under the cut because they're LONG

how cool would the intro have been if carmen's passport had gained a new stamp every episode for the place she went!!!

oh i totally forgot the acme b plot in this episode thats pretty good

s1 chase: not one single red thread to pull s2 chase, buying french michaels out of red string: is that a challenge

it was stuffed in her black sack

i love the mints. they had to set them up so bad so julia could follow them

fuck you chase. maybe if you ate less mints you could be nicer

IN LOVE WITH HOW JULIA GETS FED UP. YES GIRL. FUCK HIM AND HIS FUEL HE DESERVES IT

DAMN ZARI HIT HIM FROM REAL FAR AWAY THAT WEAPON IS NEVER THAT LONG RANGE AGAIN

julia he doesnt deserve you

they sneak "where in the world" into every line they can

have i mentioned the way cs draws water because its all so prettyyy

OH, WET pls

no, player we have to wait two more seasons for argentina ok

"not without any real clues" girl idk where you think clues come from but your birthplace could be a fantastic place to start looking

the equator joke was funny

bananafish? as in the anime? (doesn't know what im talking about at all)

quito!! fun fact: the first highest capital is Bolivia's, La Paz!

NOSE IS BLEEDING? BLOOD? In a KIDS SHOW?

omg they foreshadowed the fucking tuna it nearly smacked carmen..

"surface crew is on high alert!" (pan to zack, barfing)

i love that zack's weakness is the ocean. he grew up in boston. literally being in the home of the fish makes him barf

i love how ivy is not helping at all she's so funny

zack barfs way too many times in this show sorry. they crossed the line when someone shoved her fingers in his barf and squelched em around. no. no thanks. stop making him barf

i have to think this episode was one of the earlier ones abby trott recorded for because she is so violently boston at every turn its hilarious

where the fuck is carmen's air tank. that thing on her back is her water jetpack. where is she breathing from. her tubing is connected to something that is. not big enough to supply her with oxygen for that long

woww the framing of that shot where carmen swims towards the ship...she sounds like she supposed to be very excited about it which i love for her

every single time im like surely she cant fit through that hole and then she does. the reason this is possible is because despite having hips CARMEN HAS NO ASS

i also like the little lookaround she does like idk

GOD the ship is so pretty i love how everyone immediately destroys everything inside of it

carmen "im swimming through the past" sandiego, destroying everything in the fucking ship that she touches

why the fuck is there just a crowbar down there

SHES JUST TOSSING SHIT OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL HISTORY IS TREASURE CARMEN YOU FUCKIN HYPOCRITE

love that player picks up the HGRHGDHSRHRGFGRGRGRGRGRGGWGEGEGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR of el topo before carmen does

the fact that carmen is not terrified upon hearing, deep underwater, a roaring, grumbling noise coming from nowhere is a testament to how stup

WHEN

SHE JUST GOES FLYING ITS SO FUNNY TO ME AJFGS

see el topo has o2 tanks what the fuck is up with carmen breathing underwater. she has to always be streamlined ig

no way can they fucking hear each other no way nuh uh

HE JUST RAMS INTO HER THATS SO FUNNY

i like how player waits until a very nice time to ask carmen what the fuck just burst out of the floor. little break in the action <3

hi. the way carmen says el topo. thank you (applause)

love how player doesnt warn zack and ivy. theyll be fine he said

obsessed with how le chevre's legs bend like the dancing stick bug meme

OH MY GOD THE PURE GAY ENERGY BLAST OF LE CHEVRE LANDING KILLED THEM

sorry side note ivy is so cute

le chevre is. yeah

I LOVE HOW CARMEN JUST S N A T C H E S HIS ANKLE YOU CAN SEE HER THOUGHT PROCESS ZERO IN ON HIS FOOT

the way carmen moves in the water is sooo satisying shes like a wikki stix she just bends

also love how carmen just bounces off of el topo

i also also love how her flippers just gently wave in the breeze

they just fling each other its so fucking funny. she steps on him. he flings her. she full body crashes into him

like how they just keep an arm around each other for a bit. chilling. buddies

do you think it hurts el topo how much venom is in carmen's voice when she sees him now?

anyways

the fish. wow that really did just happen

she just kicks his ass what did he do to her

ALSO this is one of very few fights where carmen is very actively in hand-to-hand!! she usually tries to avoid it i think...more evasive maneuvers/defense but shes BARELLING into el topo shes just doing everything she fucking can to fling him far distances

bubble transitions <3 its like bubble guppies fr

eternally beyond grateful that they dropped ivys weird. woke feminist how do you do fellow women thing ok sorry the fisherwoman thing was. out of place. le chevre is right there and youre worried about fisherwoman

le chevre, the frenchest fucker alive: you dont sound like youre from around here

the absolute terror on ivy's face is sending me. someone else (jackie?? was that you??) pointed out that she reacts like this because they met le chevre in boston harbor but he happens to not recognize them.....super cool i love that s1 and 2 were written together

not a single braincell in le chevres head

she was really about to try to wrestle and do the heimlech maneuver on an 97 pound fish girl no

she sounds so black sheep when she says "come on seriously" 🥺

NO im calling bullshit no way was carmen able to snatch that pipe in the two seconds el topo bodychecked her carmens got fucking superpowers she does not have pickpocketing abilities she has superpowers

we love the attempted murder <3 thats. so dangerous to do but carmen just is like teehee oxygen is gone!!! hope u dont drown or panic or get decompression illness teehee

the most gigantic tracker in the history of mankind

i like how carmen holds that gun whjhehgshsa if she werent underwater she'd be blowing the smoke off it

they didnt even try to come up with a convincing alias they just went with another california city wheeze

wait how is player connected to that walkie talkie. im pretty sure correct me if im wrong but i think that walkie talkies in ecuador dont connect to ones in ontario

theyre such siblings

gay saves the day once more

AGAIN WITH SHOVING THEM IN THE WATER or wait is this the first time?? TREND SETTING?? i feel like they did it once before this but ig not???

lets motor is the same thing as lets jet

HOLY SHIT THEY WERE SO FAR FROM SHORE

THE BUBBLE TRANSITIONS THIS EP SO TRUE

yes carmen speaking other languages i am of the opinion that she should have spoken so many all the time

she cute

i love how loud carmen is talking "SO ITS AN ECUADORIAN DOUBLOON" also hi dr marquez

I AM LITERALLY SUCH A CHILD THIS SHOULD NOT BE FUNNY TO ME "dick?" "dick." (innocent deer-like blinking) gay-bisexual solidarity

marquez: yeah im leading an excavation tea- carmen: i robbed that fucking boat

the deer in headlights look they give is so funny not one braincell avaliable

the way her accusing them drives them all into terrified scrambling

i also like how marquez just accepts the fact that they robbed the boat because they say theyre coin hobbyists (i mean. she doesnt. she follows them. but still)

i love dr marquez shes so cool. i like her voice also

you know carmen's about to do some craaazy shit when an archaeologist starts talking about history and they zoom in on her eyes going all different directions

zack and ivy being so insensitive is so fucking funny. kids do you know who your boss is

the sibling-like manner in which ivy shoves zack in the face to get out of the boat faster than he does is the funniest thing in the world

GASP! vile has a darker, sexier, even more obnoxious tracker!

lots a shit beeping in this establishment today

chase is such a dumbshit i love him as soon as zari reaches into her jacket he disintegrates. and then he saves it. such grace and talent

chase is just constantly ???????????????????????????

CHIEF! hi chief

what were the handcuffs even for

chase gets kidnapped and hes just like can i go back to work please

VILE DRAMATIC MUSIC DRAMATIC CLOSEUP

damn le chevre just pulled that slick wet thing out hot damn it was still dripping....what? the tracker. the tracker was wet. what did you think i was talking about?

"if carmen sandiego is after this doubloon" YOU GUYS WERE AFTER THE DOUBLOON WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

no. maelstrom never call yourself papa again

el topo just hanging over his shoulder <3

el topo is so cute

I CAN CHASE AWAY THE GOPHERS he so sweet

tfw your boyfriend is kissing ur boss's ass

mael just sitting there listening to them like 👁️👁️

mael is not even evil hes just stupid and petty hes so funny

WOO HOO ALTITTY SICKNESS LETS GOOO KNOCK THAT BITCH OUT

leonardo di caprio stars in the mole of wall street

who in vile was contaminating cheese OH MY GOD WONDER RAT???

i like how chief is just flat out like. yeahh we dont actually. know if they exist or not but we think so we really do

the scrambled brains joke was so funny chief has actually a lot of personality. i would like her if she were real yknow

the way chief snaps back to being formal when chase clears his throat its ok girl hes not important or competent

HAHA there are a lot of tiny callbacks to where in the world sprinkled throughout here that i never really noticed. gee carmen being the leader of vile sure is far fetched. that would never happen

this video is sponsored by crimeNET technology

acme's introduction is actually pretty cool. a third party that could either help or hurt carmen but seem to want her captured either way

love that background dad who shoves a fish into his kid's face

zack's joints cracked more than jo's wtf

the way she goes "fish maharh-" and then passes out gets me every time its so comedic. she doesnt like. step out of the car and in the background, as zack and ivy are chatting, slowly look ill and then pass out, crashing to the floor. zack and ivy run over, terrified. NO she walks out and goes FISH MAHAHRaha.... and then puts her hand on her forehead and faints like a victorian woman and then moans on the floor for thirty seconds

she totally got a concussion from that right

THE PROGRESSION OF CHASE'S VOICEMAIL THIS SEASON FROM THE BIT ABOUT THE LOVESEAT AND ANOTHER THING LATER IS SUCH A GOOD LITTLE DETAIL

hi the way her voice reverberates just slightly in the empty garage. good sound design

omg carmen CAN sweat look jackie

ALSO look at my comic about this because just do

the whiplash of seeing coach brunt and then immediately hearing her speak in a gentle ecuadorian accent

the way raf enunciates words should be studied

chief forcibly transferring him is so funny. no. you have no free will you will be acme right now

mmm she calls out for them immediately <333 they are family. also thee panic at waking up somewhere unfamiliar and alone....what if she thought vile had her again. does she call for them when she wakes up from nightmares. i need to know

HI THIS IS MY FAVORITE FACE CARMEN EVER MAKES

carmens bag ROCKET LAUNCHED those tools across the room DAMN

see i feel like that throwing star had to be 3d it looked 3d?? also why does carmen have throwing stars. also dr marquez is literally the most trusting person on the planet

zack: dont be embarrassed! its ok :) carmen: literally couldnt be more emotionless. literally could not care less about the attention zack is trying to give her. did you find the fucking coin

carmen waiting until they had already wheeled it through the doors to mention it was being wheeled away for comedic effect is such a mood

zack reacting like ivy even though he was literally watching with carmen as the fish got wheeled away

carmen: le chevre. ivy, voice blasting through the halls: AGAIN??

yeah he would id you but he literally tried to skewer these two on a fishhook three hours ago

her face when she says bid to win is so cute

who gave zack the paddle.

150,000 DOLLARS!

ivys look of terror when he says that is so funny

AND CARMEN FACEPALMING

this poor fish market got scammed out of a whole 200 buck fish i hope carmen gave them some money

whats with the flaps in the floor

she WHIPS that poor eel. flytrap could never

LEAVE HIM ALONE

we love carmen pulling out the gun knowing full well the speech wont work

that poor fucking tunafish man

le chevre gets cornobbled

something something el topo on his way to slap some goat cheek something

love how top and bottom dont question why carmen has suddenly given up

i also love el topo taking no credit for slapping him with a fish hes luck uhhh yeah bro its the altitude

the lil whoosh as carmen catches the coin

JULIAS GASP AT THE MINTS

shes like ohhh my god he went into the electrical closet. ohhh fuck

wait a minute if the tube fell out first...how is there still a trail leading from that point. they didnt fall out of the tube so did he just have loose mints in his pocket. or

chief: we are so secretive julia argent: mints

THE ALARM ON ZARI AND JAWLINE'S FACES WHEN JULIA POPS IN IS SO FUNNY THE DISMAY

julia is so starved for compliments that she immediately smiles when the random blue projection who kidnapped chase in a dark closet tells her she's sharp

marquez: someday the world will know your name carmen sandiego marquez, a year later, watching tv: UM I DIDNT MEAN BY STEALING THE CROWN JEWELS HELLO

carmen's 👁️👄👁️ when marquez mentions that shes argentinian is so funny one time as a kid i was talking in my sleep and my mom mentioned the dream that i had been having when i woke up and it scared the shit out of me it was that exact expression

damn... damn these spot the difference games are getting hard

carmen e4: we went our separate ways carmen e9: HOOLY SHIT SHES TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME

I THOUGHT PLAYER SAID "I HAVE FREAKING NEWS RED"

AW YEAH TRANSITION SENTENCE

GOD SAY GOODBYE OR SOMETHING SHE JUST PUTS THE HOOD UP AND LEAVES

CARMEN "BAD AT SOCIAL INTERACTION" SANDIEGO

like the boat looks 3d too methinks

next episode: team red is permanently blinded as zack drives directly into the sun

okay!! pretty solid episode. one of the classics. not my favorite though it feels a bit like they needed a caper to go with the acme plot and they just threw darts at a map

[whatyourusherthinks]

Princess Mononoke Review

Ohohoho I was looking forward to this one! Word on the street is that Spirited Away is what most people think is the best Miyazaki movie, but Princess Mononoke is the actual best one.

Fun fact, I watched every one of these Ghibli movies subbed, since I saw them after a shift and our theater showed the dubbed versions earlier that the subbed versions. Honestly, I don't think it makes a significant difference, especially when it comes to Ghibli. Don't come at me anime nerds. My point is I made sure to watch the dub for Mononoke. Why? Because it was adapted by Neil Fuckin' Gaiman (pretty sure that's his middle name, complete with apostrophe) who just so happens to be my favorite writer of all time. So this movie has got to be good!

What's The Movie About?

A prince of a hidden village gets cursed, exiled, and forces his way into a conflict between two human factions and the gods of the land. Can he heal his curse, make peace between the humans and gods, as well as get together with the hot wolf girl?

What I Like.

Broken record time, the animation is fucking gorgeous. This time around I was really impressed with the fighting animation. The speed an choreography was a sight to behold I tell ya. It was also shockingly violent, which I dug the hell out of. Kinda made me wonder why there was a bunch of families in the audience, I guess anime parents don't care if their kids get traumatized. I also really dug the score. I usually don't go for instrumental pieces but it felt like every twenty minutes I was marveling at the orchestra. The story was pretty cool, but the world building was what really impressed me. It, like Spirited Away, was clearly based on Shintoism. But unlike Spirited Away I never felt like I was missing information about the world building because I didn't know much about the religion. I really liked the characterization of the different tribes of animals/forest spirits. And speaking of characters, Miyazaki writes some pretty damn good female characters doesn't he? Well, to be accurate, he write good characters regardless of gender, but I really liked the Lady of Iron Town despite her being an antagonist. And speaking of the antagonists, I really like how complex the human characters were. The monk was a scumbag yet I still got worried when it seemed like he was gonna die. When the people of Iron Town were fighting the wolves I legit didn't want either side to lose. That fight ended super fucking cool as well, the lead walking out of there was raw as hell. There were some raw as hell lines as well. The line "I'm going to show you how to kill a god. A god of life and death. The trick is not to fear them." makes me want an RPG about mortals killing gods, which is about the highest compliment I can give something. Also I wanna ride an elk.

What I Don't Like.

I feel like just saying this is going to get me looks like when San first sees Ashitaka, but I have a couple problems with this movie.

One, the message is kinda shaky. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that promoting pacifism and environmentalism is a bad thing, it's just that, to me, the gods seems completely justified in their actions. The humans are not only killing each other, but completely overstepping their bounds, destroying spirits with their consumption. All the gods want is to stop their ravaging of the land. They also tried to rebuild, but the humans wouldn't let them, that's what was driving the Apes into wanting to take up arms. Maybe doing that would get them cursed, but also the curse came from the bullets the humans made so it seems like the spirits didn't have a real choice here.

Two, and I know this makes me sound like a miserable bastard, but I wish the movie ended more nihilistically. Like, I know all the gods died, but not a single named human did. The movie should've ended with the Forest God dying in peace, and then the valley is just forever fucked. You kill the spirit of the land and nothing grows there anymore. Sorry, but you fucked up! It felt like the movie was going in a more tragic direction as well, but instead all the pretty flowers came back and everyone's like "We can rebuild!" And the two leads are together even though they should've definitely done a self-sacrifice. Speaking of that...

Three, the romance between the prince and princess is completely unnecessary. Like if you cut it out entirely the movie would have been just as good, if not better. It's really rushed and really just seems to be there to have the lead chase wolf girl for a bit, but it makes equally as much sense if he thought she knew how to get to the Forest God. Or if he was just curious about why she was siding with the wolves. Oh yeah, I guess the power of their love saved their lives at the end but that was so eyerolling my retinas twisted. I feel like Miyazaki either doesn't know how or doesn't really like writing romances. (And before you go, "What about Howl's?", according to most sources Sophie and Howl's relationship seems to be completely lifted off the page of the novel, so I have a feeling he didn't actually write that part.)

Final Summation.

Princess Mononoke is great. Obviously. Watch it. I don't have anything else to say, but since I have your attention down here, I'm gonna give you all a little bonus.

All Ghibli Movies I've Seen So Far Ranked

Real quick from worst to best:

6th: Ponyo-It's not really fair, but I'm putting Ponyo at the lowest because the last time I watched it I was like 10, and I don't remember much about it. I do remember liking it, but according to most sources 10 is like the perfect age to enjoy Ponyo. If I ever do that Ghibli marathon I'm constantly thinking about, I'll rewatch it.

5th: My Neighbor Totoro-Totoro hits me right in the nostalgia, when I rewatched it I was all curled up in my chair smiling ear to ear. But honestly, it's a "stuff just kinda happens" plot. There's not really anything wrong with that, it just suffers comparing it to more complete narratives.

4th: Spirited Away-Me putting this here is just drawing a target on my back for white people who unironically own katanas, but counterpoint: Bite me. It's good, just not goddamn mandatory viewing.

3rd: Princess Mononoke-Urgh I had a hard time between choosing between my second and third favorite Ghibli movie, but the deciding factor was creativity. Mononoke is pretty imaginative, but not compared to...

2nd: The Boy and the Heron-I liked this movie when I saw it, but after this Ghibli Month at work I like it a whole lot more. It took some time to figure out what the hell the story was supposed to be about, but I honestly think it occupying my mind for several weeks is a boon.

And 1st: Howl's Movie Castle-No duh. Look, the plot of Howl's isn't as good as the majority of this list, but Howl's has one advantage over every other movie on this list. That is that it fucks. I'm not referring to how I want Howl to fuck me, or that it's the only Ghibli movie I've seen so far with a romance that is worth anything. (I don't know if I made that clear in my review, but I really liked the romance in the movie.) I mean that it has way more personality than these other movies. The the titular character, Howl's Movie Castle has a charm and pluck that carries it over it's flaws and into my heart. Also it's goddamn sexy.