#love that I’m not the only one who got James Bond vibes but also like 60s or 70s balladeer ? idk if that’s the right description but yeah

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

I think this might be her Actual best record ?? Like for ten years it’s been Strange Mercy but this might be The One??? Idk man. Idk.

[gemtopia]

Avatar: The Way of Water Review

This is my opinionated movie review of Avatar 2 and will contain many spoilers… So, here’s what I got.

For starters, I have been a hardcore Avatar fan from the beginning. The first movie came out when I was in 5th grade! I am now 24 years old and have literally been waiting for this movie for 13 years! And just like the first one, I give this movie a full 5 star rating.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I absolutely loved this movie and felt that this one was way better than the first one. The acting was great, the story was great, and as always the world of Pandora was breathtaking. However, with this being said, there were a few things about the movie that frustrated me and left me over all confused. So here some things that I loved and hated about the movie.

Spider/Miles Quaritch - HATED

For me, Spider wasn’t a terrible character. He had the potential to be an amazing character but I almost felt like the writers just didn’t really know what to do with him. In a lot of ways you can’t help but feel bad for him because really doesn’t have anyone and feels connected to the Sullys and is very close to Jake and especially Kiri. He seems to be very kind and understanding and only wishes to be apart of a family but part of me also kinda wished he wasn’t a character. Spider is a little too much for my taste and has too much of a Tarzan vibe. I was rooting for him at first, that is, till he started to “bond” with his father and the other soldiers. Then, when it came to the scene where Spider saves his father from drowning my husband and I just looked at each other and agreed we were done with him. Overall I personally wish they had killed Spider off instead of Neteyam but I guess he’s here for a reason or at least I hope he is.

Kiri - LOVED

There’s so much to be said about Kiri. She is kindhearted, loving, beautiful, strong, and is most definitely my favorite character. Not only do I relate to her on a spiritual level for being strange and different than most Na’vi but I also love what she represents. A lot of reviewers have been referring to Kiri as a “Jesus-like” character which isn’t entirely wrong. While everyone else is confused on who Kiri’s father is and how her mother Grace even got pregnant, I think it’s pretty obvious where Kiri came from- Aywa. Kiri is not only Grace’s daughter she is also the embodiment of Aywa herself just in Na’vi form. I find this to be very beautiful and can’t wait to see what James Cameron has in store for her.

Omatikaya/Metkayina Clan - LOVED

One of my husband’s favorite things about the movie was the beautiful representation of Pacific Islanders. My husband is half Comanche and has always loved the idea of all the different Native cultures put together in the Na’vi tribes and we were both fascinated with how they represented the Islanders. I’m very curious to see what the other clans of Pandora are like and what cultures they will represent.

Neteyam’s Death - HATED

All I have to say is this… Neteyam was a precious boy who deserved better and was taken far too soon and far too easily. His death was a travesty that brought out a barbaric side of Neytiri and I would have done the same.

The Tulkun - LOVED

Despite it being hard to watch at times, I absolutely loved the Tulkun. They were such beautiful and majestic creatures and I hate the way they were so brutally hunted in the movie but at the same time I loved that James Cameron shed a light on the exploitation and near extinction of animals. I’m a huge animal lover and animal right activist and some scenes with the Tulkun were very hard to watch. It’s nothing new to see James Cameron drawing attention to protecting the earth and preserving wildlife but he always seems to do it in a way that really breaks your heart as makes you think about things. This is an important part of Avatar that I hope he continues in the future.

If I had to sum this movie up in one word it would be

Spectacular

So if you haven’t seen it yet, I highly suggest you go see it for yourself. Yes, it’s a three hour movie but if your a true Avatar fan you won’t be disappointed. Also, keep in mind that there are always going to be critics who say the movie is “racist” and should be “boycott” but just ignore all that shit. Avatar was never about “who plays who” or any specific culture, it has always been about how we as humans need to start treating each other as brothers and sisters and start taking care of our planet. James Cameron just wanted to show us this in a really epic way and I think he’s achieved that goal.

[littlestsnicket]

Hi! I'm really late to the ASOUE fandom, so I'm happy that there are still some great fanblogs around. I loved reading through yours. I wanted to ask what you think of the Netflix series and the movie in relation to the novels. Apologies if you've already answered this question!

Also (and slightly related) do you have any Jacques Snicket headcanons for the book or the Netflix character? I never really noticed him in the novels but I loved him (probably Nathan Fillion) in the show.

Thank you <3

welcome to asoue fandom! i’ve been a fan of these books since they were first published and didn’t get involved in fandom until after the netflix series had finished, so it’s never to late, and i’m glad you enjoyed my blog!

i have talked about my thoughts on the netflix adaptation (i forget which tag i used, i was trying to use a consistent one for that at some point…), but i love talking about adaptations and how they work and i’m always happy to talk about it some more!

i saw the movie when it came out, and i don’t remember feeling very strongly about it one way or another, which says something because 2004 would be around the peak of me obsessively rereading the books so i should have cared a lot. i mostly remember really liking violet’s costume in an objective, aesthetic sense and also feeling it was deeply deeply wrong for the tone of the books/how things looked in my head. i’ve only rewatched it once since then with lemony snicket’s commentary track, which is just absolutely delightful, so i’m afraid i don’t have much to say about it.

i think the netflix show is a good adaptation with some things i will go to my grave mad about. i love the visuals, it’s the exact right amount of fantastical and timeless. it’s the right amount of funny while still having moments of intense seriousness. i love the musical numbers in season 2. i love what they did to change the vibe of this being a tv show so it shouldn’t exist in a world driven by books like the books do. i love the addition of the recurring adult characters.

since you asked about jacques snicket, i really love how they re-conceived that character to be a suave, james bond-y, spy type. i think it serves the rest of the changes they made really well. i enjoy his relationship with olivia and larry the waiter. i love the dynamic he has with olaf. i will die mad that they didn’t give him a unibrow. we deserve otherwise conventionally attractive jacques snicket with a unibrow. it’s thematically important damn it!

book!jacques snicket, who we only really get to know through his letters in the unauthorized autobiography and quigley’s memories, will always be the jacques snicket of my heart, but i can love both.

also still mad about the opera night. it is absolutely thematically critical that the viewer not know what happened, and what you gain isn’t enough to offset that. also wish we had gotten more morally grayness from vfd. i really love how the organization is introduced in season 1 and 2, but it never got to evolve into being about how kind, well meaning people can do horrible things either because of their own flaws or because of intractable circumstances, and we all have to live with that because it’s part of the human condition.

i don’t have any netflix!jacques head canon, except that in the fictional version of the show that i got to have input in, olivia learns that he’s done really difficult to rationalize things from the snicket file and that puts her in a much more similar to book!olivia’s mindset when the baudelaire’s meet her at the carnival.

i have lots of book!jacques head canons. i think i’ve talked about most of them before but these are my favorite: 1, jacques looks almost exactly like lemony but is several inches shorter and 2, jacques is the least committed to vfd of his siblings, and he will always put the safety of the people he loves (but especially lemony) over the greater good.

[rottingmanifesto]

Pre-fire notes part one

Opening points

-The opening music makes me so hype

-FATHER JAMES

-Ah. Maguire.

-Lou my beloathed

-JOHN MY MAN

-literally love this intro. My fav intro of the three games, I love the style and writing— the contrast between FJ’s and John’s accounts adds so much depth. I wish we knew more about how Lincoln experiences PTSD because there’s not a whole lot of evidence in-game. My headcanons can only go so far, you know? (Headcanon that the PTSD extends before the war, but that’s just me.)

Heist part one

-Giorgi and Lincoln have good banter with one another, I wish we saw more. The actors are so fucking fantastic

-There’s depth to Giorgi but they stole it to make him flat and non-compelling. I get it, he’s evil, but reads like an M2 villain (and that’s not a compliment).

-“ain’t nothing personal” uh huh Giorgi. Again, I still think there’s some sympathy in him, but some lines aggravate me. (Also fuck Giorgi, I wish they’d remained consistent with who he was in the beginning but that doesn’t mean I like the guy)

-they use “goddamn” so much in this game, it’s a running gag. Take a shot every time they say it

-“I know what the fuck I’m doing.” Oh he definitely does

-Maguire my beloathed. Can’t stand him half the time

Coming home

-AUTISM KING LINCOLN CLAY (refuses to make extended eye contact, limited verbal communication with strangers, etc)

-“used to get ticked off if you were even a minute late” again. Autism (also relatable)

-the hug oh my god

-why does he throw the bottle. Like imagine if that hit a kid, shit would’ve been hilarious

-how did Perla die? I want lore on her (I know she’s likely Haitian-American which is kinda cool)

-so J Edgar Hoover is still real in this universe- well that’s unfortunate

-“shit man I know what’s what. That’s why I’m talking to Giorgi about it” one of these statements contradicts the other

-Lincoln’s laugh oh my god

-ARETHA FRANKLIN (<- was raised on oldies)

-the banter of Sammy and Lincoln. Love the actors they did amazing

-FJ my man. You have PTSD. (Who DOESN’T have PTSD in this game jfc)

-the film and aftermath— one of my fav scenes from pre-fire

-ah, nightmares. Yeah, common with PTSD

The Haitians

-the eyebrow thing Lincoln does when focused— makes his eyes darker I think

-FJ you are such a 9w1. Chronic 9w1

-and Lincoln you are a chronic cp6

-“there’s always gonna be more Haitians.”

-wow the guy with the gun is a lousy shot. Lincoln was literally right in front of you how did you miss

-why does Maguire have a fivehead, got that shy ass hairline

-I want the lore on Sal and Sammy (and no I’m not reading that comic book it looks like shit)

-Tbh I can’t see anyone else playing Lincoln. I get that Alex has no interest in playing him in a live action thing, but still, I can’t see anyone else who can capture his vibes as well as Alex does

-RIP Baka that’s one brutal-ass way to die

-Cassandra! She’s my blorbo (neutral ish)— she deserved better writers for her ending because it does not fit her at all

-I love the conversation in the car, it reveals so much about the two and their bond

[the-whumpening]

Son of Bat! [OC Context Post]

Working on more Ash fics, but I need some time before I'm ready to post them, so in the meantime I'll introduce my other OCs!

So uh, technically, these OCs started as part of a Scooby-Doo fan thing. Later in the Hex Girls' career, my spouse and I headcanonned that they would start a record label and help other artists get started. Son of Bat is one of those bands! This later morphed into something else entirely, but technically speaking it exists in the Scooby-Doo universe lol

Son of Bat is a fictional band which I’m slowly working on making into a webcomic or some kind of longer project. The whole project is intended to explore themes like family trauma, identity, and relationships, largely based on my and my partner’s lived experiences, so each character was designed with certain traits in mind to reflect that (well, once it left the Hex Girls spin-off phase lol). There’s so much I want to say about each of them, so it’s really difficult to condense it down into something succinct and readable!

The story takes place in modern day, in a nonspecific US city, though the characters canonically grew up in Florida. The band’s music is a mix of metal, emo/alt rock, prog rock, and a few sprinkles of nu metal and EDM. In short, they aren’t as pressed about genre so much as vibe. The band consists of:

James Snyder: 25, huge af, primary writer and guitarist. James is a perfectionist and workaholic who is not only running a successful band, but also studying for a PhD and working as a personal trainer on the side. Most of his free time is spent in the gym, working out to anime soundtracks and kpop. He grew up in a shitty, abusive household, and he no longer has contact with his family. Around age 14, he got expelled from private school for once again refusing to cut his hair and getting into fights, and his family kicked him out. He became friends with Eddie in public school and was taken in by him and his mom. Vince is James’ older brother, and though they had a rocky relationship for a while, the hurt feelings are mending. James is aroace and in a queerplatonic relationship with Molly. 

Vince Snyder: 29, trans man, bassist and vocalist. Vince has gone through a ton of personal growth—from leaving his abusive family, to struggling with alcoholism, to navigating transition. He’s always loved animals, even the “gross” bugs and reptiles he was told not to play with as a kid. Although his onstage personality is over-the-top and gregarious, he tends to be more reserved and laid-back with his friends. He struggles a lot with imposter syndrome and fears of inadequacy, as well as guilt from his upbringing. At this point in the story, he has married Cassandra Prince, the band’s manager, and is taking time off to be with her and work on a solo album.   

Eddie Glenn: 24, drummer, short king, pansexual. Eddie is the co-founder of the band, along with James. Growing up autistic/adhd, Eddie dealt with a lot of bullying and isolation. But when he met James, they just clicked. When he found out James was functionally homeless, his mom insisted on taking James in. They essentially became brothers overnight, and that bond has remained into adulthood. Personality-wise, Eddie is a goofball and a sweetheart; this works against him sometimes, as people tend to infantilize him. Eddie is also an artist; he makes all the merch and graphics for SoB and is studying to be an art teacher. Because of his autism, Eddie struggles with selective mutism and sometimes uses ASL and AAC. He and Molly briefly dated, but realized they’re better as friends. 

Molly “Moondust” Rivera-Roth: 27, nonbinary/demigirl, keyboard and mixing. Molly Moondust is her DJ name, and how she met Eddie (he was graffitiing the outside of her venue). Molly was adopted as a baby by her two loving dads, one Cuban and one Jewish. Between the two of them and the rotating variety of foster kids in their home, Molly’s childhood was extremely multicultural. She was an awkward, geeky, chubby girl growing up, finding solace in her family and her love of technology and music. As she got older and found the EDM scene, she grew more confident and honed not only her craft, but also her outgoing personality. Molly is loud, affectionate, and a great friend. Being away from her family when she went to college was really tough, and she got caught up in the party scene (and party drugs). James and Eddie’s friendship and concern helped pull her out of the hole, and she and Vince keep each other accountable. Molly loves James and is happy to be in his life however he feels most comfortable; they view each other almost like spouses, at least as far as their level of security and trust. 

Cassandra Prince (name may be changed): 30, band manager/idiot wrangler, engaged to Vince. Cass met the others while working with the performance arts department at their university. James was impressed with her management skills and asked for her help. Cass is physically disabled and uses mobility aids, and she loves cottagecore/pastel goth fashion. Because of growing up disabled, she had to "grow up fast," so she often feels disconnected from her peers and struggles to lighten up. The only person she really loosens up around is Vince, who gets to see the cutesy, babyish side of her. (Cass is a late addition to the canon and isn't fully fleshed out; her details are subject to change.)

Debby Glenn: Eddie’s mom and James’ surrogate mom. Debby was a dental hygienist when Eddie was growing up, but by the time he graduated, she’d become a dentist and opened her own practice. She and Eddie pretty much just had each other since her family wanted nothing to do with her as an unwed mother, and Eddie’s dad was a stalkery asshole. She had to get a restraining order against him and move cities to get him off her back. Debby was a rockstar mom, despite having to work crazy hard to support the two of them as a single mom. She encouraged Eddie's love of percussion from a young age and always did the best she could to accommodate and advocate for Eddie—and, naturally, that translated to James as well. Debby has a big, open heart, and she took James in with barely a second thought; though she loves all the SoB kids like they’re her own, James has a special place in her heart as her second son. 

That's the band! I have a handful of great whumpy scenarios for them, mostly on the milder side compared to Ash's story. I'm hoping to develop this into a full comic or web series over time, but I'm not quite confident enough yet to really give it a go. So in the meantime, I'll post the few fics I have of theirs and maybe post some slice of life stuff on another blog (I'll link it if I do that). Pictures will be added to this post later.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio Pt.1

Buster: [Okay, so this boy showing up to this St Paddy’s day function, I assume we’re starting at the pub even if y’all end up going somewhere else, serving a look and just effortlessly making an entrance because he is that bitch, probably making an immediate move to Fearghal because only one of this fam we actually fuck with haha]

Rio: [Meanwhile I am sure we’re monopolizing Baby Libi because she just turned 1 about a month ago and we are that bitch lmao, just showing her ‘round this entire fam because you know Edie and Liam will not bother to do that; obviously noticing your entrance but also can’t use that as an excuse to come up to you so probably coming for Ava and Bea’s life with this baby instead]

Buster: [lowkey can and will avoid her like the plague using poor baby Libi as the reason why because no way you aren’t slightly bothered baby Jay exists and is basically the same age even if you’re hardcore pretending you don’t care and it’s nothing to do with you cos not actually made of stone, obviously has also noticed that she looks amazing though, the child can’t distract him that hard, I imagine you’re just having a drink and a catch up with your granddad, maybe playing some pool or darts because competitive and a lad]

Rio: [at least they will want their baby returned to them at some point miss thing so you can’t just use her as a shield forever for a reason to not say hi to the men in this family because you are that social butterfly and you must talk to everyone who is here, even Nancy which I’m sure is a joy, such a joy you’re like okay I’ll make us some drinks, bantering like Fearghal can’t make cocktails and you have to do it, just going behind this bar to fix whatever y’all girls are having]

Buster: [love this chance for him to ask her to make him a v specific martini because your parents are baze and love the classics + we all remember your dad being a James Bond fan lol so you simply would for the pure bants if nothing else]

Rio: [and you would’ve also secured your bar job by now because 18 also necessary, so again, thank God you’re this bitch, although the way randoms in this pub would be trying to order after Buster too so you’re just like oh no, only if you tip me really well vibes ‘cos not here to work people, just handing him this drink like 😏 ‘thanks a lot’ @ this crowd of people he’s made appear]

Buster: [we all know he’s tipping her really well like she works her and he doesn’t know her for the pure bants and because they really are these rich cunt relatives, giving a smirk back for that and the taste of this drink he’s having a sip of as he hovers instead of leaving ‘you’re welcome’ as if y’all are both being sincere]

Rio: [pocketing that by which I mean putting it in your bra ‘cos no way you’ve got pockets on whatever you’re wearing sis, shrugging amused like hope you didn’t expect me to insist you take that back ‘cos not gonna ‘likewise’ with a more sincere smile than your previous smirk]

Buster: [do your best to pretend you’re not checking your cousin out when she does that, at least you’ve had plenty of practice at that by this point, boy, cos in this universe we don’t trust your shady twin so you can’t be blatant af, his own shrug like however much he gave her is nothing because clearly to you it isn’t you spoiled bitch]

Rio: [she isn’t gay and oblivious now, you’re definitely not getting away with it, she’s also probably trying to drag Rio away right now because who else is she hanging out with, not even poor child Grace yet though she will humour you which you will love girl; meanwhile we’d lowkey rather stay here working a shift shamelessly but you can’t because you have to be nice, get dragged away to dance and God knows what else]

Buster: [Grace so hardcore shadowing both Rio and Nancy at this function, I’m cringing, meanwhile Buster is probably getting behind the bar himself and making Ava and Janis something swag so they feel grown up and cool and stay away from Nancy because that sort of brother, a bad influence but in a fun and cute way, goes without saying he do keep looking over though, of course he must, we can pretend it’s like oh god what’s my twin doing now and not how hot does my cousin wanna be]

Rio: [the nod of thanks we cannot verbalise from across the room for also including Janis, as if she has any interest in Nancy but anyway, Grace is bad enough and we’re basically just supervising because you can’t tell me Nancy isn’t just doing bumps at the table like well, I’m not going to get kicked out and Rio is like could you fucking go to the bathroom you mess because not trying to let any child here see this tah, just taking her stash off her like it’s a fun game like you’ll have to come find me when you want some but it’s basic toddler tactics honestly]

Buster: [she is SUCH a mess and nobody here needs it, literally the only reason he hasn’t dragged his sister away rn is because not trying to look like a killjoy but gal you’re on thin ice, hence ruster exchanging a look when he sees what Rio is doing like yeah good thinking, so glad you’ve spared the twin brawl]

Rio: [we all know this is the start of you being your peak flop era when it becomes so apparent you have no plans to go to uni or get a job or do anything with your life, ugh; mouthing ‘you owe me’ and pointing at whatever Ava and Janis are drinking like there you go]

Buster: [simply must say he gets waylaid by being flirted with by a random girl or girls who saw his little flit behind the bar and then heard him speak and are like you’re very posh to be behind there, he’s not making them drinks because never, thank you, but it’ll be ages before Rio gets hers because he’ll have come out from behind there to talk to this random/randoms and she’s gonna think she’s not getting it ever honestly, but then he’ll appear with it and wordlessly exchange it for his sister’s stash just to fuck her over and because he’ll actually use it more responsibly and is more deserving than you, Nancy]

Rio: [we realistically know whoever you’re flirting with because the Dublin of it all so we can roll our eyes like we’re doing it at them and not you, will also happily hand over this stash because we can say we just did it all ourself because what she would’ve done if it was the other way ‘round ‘having fun?’ when we do this little exchange]

Buster: [‘not yet’ again we can pretend he’s saying this as if the stash will make everything better and not as if things might start looking up now y’all are in close proximity and Nancy is clearly distracted by Grace for a sec]

Rio: [properly making eye contact ‘cos can’t be as blatant any other way yet ‘night’s still young’ with an anything can happen sort of sound and gesture]

Buster: [‘yeah’ as he holds the eye contact because agreed, walking away but doing his own subtle gesture like follow me because there’s a stash to get through here and of course we’re not gonna be as blatant as Nancy about it when we can instead be alone in a confined space]

Rio: [obviously we are following you, at least Nancy and Grace aren’t being left alone and with a stash of coke, your mother and other adults are in the room, even if distracted themselves lol; just casually both need the loo excuse us, at least no one in this fam is stupid so it just looks like you’re both off to do some drugs only and not lowkey flirt too]

Buster: [they can’t come for you when Nancy was literally just doing hers off a beer mat, it’s FINE, they’ll all be happy you’re both using the right amount of discretion, setting up these lines of coke like the gentleman he isn’t, hooray for the pub perks or not having to be with all these randoms who’d wanna join in, none of y’all are invited, bye]

Rio: [just watching you do this not at all casually for a while here ‘the last thing she needs tonight’ like you’re doing Nancy a massive favour ‘cos lowkey but it’s more a favour to everyone else here]

Buster: [‘the last thing anyone else here trying to have a good night needs, is what you wish you could say’ because you basically said as much anyway and he will just go there because hate her]

Rio: [‘not my sister’ like I only have to deal with her in very short and infrequent doses, so I don’t need to go that hard but you can because obviously, we can see what she’s like even if we’re not putting the words to it] 

Buster: [‘not the sister I’ll be flying back to spend my hols with’ full shade, we only love Ava and that’s nobody’s fault but your own in this universe sis, knowing and thinking about going away to uni because that’s looming]

Rio: [‘your mum said you’re coming here’ ‘cos what else, can’t exactly be bragging about Nancy or her lack of achievements there ‘well, all fingers crossed, like’ it sounds like you’re buzzing and not just saying if he did well in all his exams]

Buster: [‘I accepted Trinity’s offer to do Law’ like yeah she’s correct and it’s all so casual ‘it’s unconditional, they’re not taking it back unless I send Nancy to take every exam in my place’ imagine that dyslexic flop lol is the energy of his tone because they really don’t, your predicted grades are that high they’ve given you the place already, you’d really have to fuck up]

Rio: [raising your eyebrows like oh, well there you go then ‘you always were smart’ like we’re not surprised because not]

Buster: [a look like oh please, because he believes smart means you don’t have to try and he really does put the work in despite all his obvious privilege you can’t say he doesn’t study hard and do all the extracurriculars and all that nonsense ‘I’ve worked hard all through school’ but doing the line to show he plays as hard too because duh]

Rio: [shaking our head ‘only you would try to take that as an insult’ like ffs boy, I was being nice ‘that was actually rude though’ like excuse me, ladies first]

Buster: [‘only you would offer me that backhanded of a compliment’ true because everyone else in your life is feeding your ego, we know, doing another smirk as if he’s unrepentant but then making the line he’s left for her fatter to make up for it]

Rio: [‘you know where to go if you wanna hear sweet nothings’ tilting our head towards the door and thus out to the party and the randoms but taking the line with a grin like I’ll be having that first though, throwing your head back dramatically for the visual]

Buster: [‘They do sound slightly sweeter around here, but it’s still as inconsequential, empty by definition and boring as a result’ the irish accent is it and we’re not gonna lie but the nothing of it is so true and he is so bored of it, clearly, DO NOT AT ALL need to be wiping the coke off her nostril but is for the not at casualness of it]

Rio: [‘and would you be bored at home, tonight?’ because we know you’re bored of all of it but may as well phrase it like a question here, do his purely like you’re making things fair here so you can lick that off your finger]

Buster: [‘I’d have home to myself’ because everyone is here, so correct, you would, but the implication it’d be a crime to be bored in that case and he’d have to do everything he possibly could not to be because he’s that bitch ‘it wouldn’t be an option’]

Rio: [‘sure your mates’ families probably played a huge role in keeping the Irish in their place’ like yeah, reason enough to have a party lol ‘granda wouldn’t have to know’]

Buster: [‘if it’s supposed to be a secret it isn’t very well kept, then again, our family likes them that way’ because seriously, this family airs all it’s dirty laundry too publicly and always has lol]

Rio: [a noise in agreement because no denying that ‘someone has to be respectable for us’ straightening his collar as if it needs it]

Buster: [I’m assuming she’s wearing a dress and it’s short because I know her so smoothing it as if it got so creased by her bending down to do a line of coke and pulling it down a little bit as if it’s too indecent and we have to, none of this is how you’d be touching your cousin, excuse you]

Rio: [correct lmao, just STARING down at what you’re doing betraying how uncasual we feel about this, even if we’re doing our utmost to keep that conceit going here ‘think that ship might’ve sailed’ like hadn’t you heard]

Buster: [‘honestly, I think this is a really appropriate dress’ as if it’s just a synonym for respectable and we’re not giving you a flirty af compliment]

Rio: [laughing and pushing him like he was actually insulting you under the guise of a fake compliment and doing an impression of his oh please look like I know I look good, boy]

Buster: [‘Oh come on, as in it’s worthy of you, not decent to wear when doing stolen lines off pub toilets’ as if she’s offended and thinks we’re saying she looks like a cheap hoe instead of the compliment we really gave]

Rio: [‘Robin Hood sort of stolen though’ like we’re more deserving and in need of said drugs right now ‘you look good too’ because we can give a compliment, does it need to be now when you’re in this close proximity, not really but here we go]

Buster: [‘It cost [and telling her however much it did for your ootn, I dread to think]’ like 1. I should and 2. Who are you calling poor lol because of the Robin Hood of it all]

Rio: [‘send my regards to your parents’ as a *correction there]

Buster: [‘of course, along with your sympathies for the clothes Nancy decided to spend their hard earned cash on’ because whatever she’s wearing tonight, he does not like it haha]

Rio: [‘be two cards otherwise’ ‘cos not going to come to her defence here soz girl]

Buster: [‘unheard of generosity’ because of the twins having to share everything cliche, not that baze are those bitches but I’m sure plenty of your friends are as mine were]

Rio: [‘I never did that’ ‘cos we would never be that bitch but we are a bitch who’d remember everyone’s birthday and actually give a shit to make sure to say happy birthday in some way or other]

Buster: [‘no, you didn’t’ like it’s lowkey occurring to him for the first time that she was never that bitch]

Rio: [pressing your index finger into his forehead like he’s got a foggy drug-addled brain ‘need another line, you’ ‘cos it don’t last fuck all time]

Buster: [pushing her away just far enough that he’s got the space to set the next ones up but doing it with his body just to be that extra about it]

Rio: [‘this you daring me?’ ‘cos so clearly going to do it before we actually do]

Buster: [‘unless you want a truth’ with a lol because that’s what peeps who are too scared of the dares pick]

Rio: [‘not scared of either’ because realistically, as not children, people could get the real tea with a truth worse than whatever they could dare you to do]

Buster: [‘good to know, babe’ calling her babe for the first time this convo because he’s his father’s son]

Rio: [‘don’t think [whatever kid you was playing with who can still exist] is here’ like he’d remember this memory as vividly as y’all]

Buster: [‘your charity knows no bounds tonight’ as if if he was she’d invite him in here for a line because Robin Hood vibes ‘but as he’s not-’ gesturing like go on, have your line, ladies first]

Rio: [do do that, so you don’t look like you’re stalling for time here, can pretend the red cheeks is a pure blood rush from the coke and not actually doing that, lean back against the door and put your hand on the handle as if you’re gonna open it and make it a free for all but obviously we’re not]

Buster: [grabbing her wrist as if he’s gotta to stop her and isn’t doing it purely because again he’s his father’s son and the coat sleeve is the most romantic baze gesture of all time, then when he has done that, wiping her nose free of coke again as if he thought she was going and was hence like no wait I’ve gotta do that first] 

Rio: [the intake of breath that can never be fully played off as casual ‘you haven’t had your seconds’ slightly quieter than the standard tone we were using before, like I couldn’t possibly leave yet, would be too rude]

Buster: [the ‘wait’ that likewise can’t be played off as casual or yeah I know so hang on vibes because the WAY he’s LOOKING at her as he says it and for a beat to long before he eventually does break it off to do this line] 

Rio: [mad at yourself for reminding him because you wanna just keep making this EYE CONTACT, at least you have the excuse of seeing how big his pupils are when he has done it like oh hi, just checking you don’t look insane, if we MUST leave]

Buster: [and you have the excuse to shamelessly check her out fully in the way that you could not when you walked in as if she’s suddenly gonna go out there and be flashing everyone or something if you don’t despite the fact neither of you are in here to have a piss] 

Rio: [‘it’s not that short’ slight 😏 ‘cos it very much is]

Buster: [‘like I said, it’s the ideal length’ cos we’re so about it and we don’t have to pretend we’re not when nobody else is here]

Rio: [shaking your head purely so you can hide in your hair for a sec ‘right the first time but you needed to double check?’]

Buster: [‘I didn’t get into Trinity by slacking on what’s important’ like yes, I have great priorities, thank you]

Rio: [‘can make anything sound like a positive on a form’ like we both know how to bullshit]

Buster: [‘this isn’t what me bullshitting you sounds like’ cos you both know that]

Rio: [‘I know-’ cut yourself off because you think you hear someone washing their hands or something ‘how it sounds is half the problem’]

Buster: [getting in her grill to whisper whether someone is actually there or not ‘I don’t do things by halves’ like no we can’t have that ‘all or nothing’ fully in her ear, there’s NO need]

Rio: [‘is that even a question?’ having instinctively moved back closer to him when he’s in your ear]

Buster: [‘I wanna hear the answer’ just out here being that blatant]

Rio: [‘Of course you do’ as blatant as the tone we’re saying that in]

Buster: [‘give it to me’ SO indecently in her grill that we’re going to need Nancy to cockblock y’all because she would, looking for her stash if just not being outright nosy af]

Rio: [you can be relied upon to kill the vibe sis, the way our mouth would be open about to say what, who knows now, not moving to open this door ‘cos we don’t want to be the one to do it]

Buster: [him literally being like ‘fuck off, Nance, this is an intervention’ loud enough to be heard through this closed door because he knows it’s her even before she’s said or done anything, so annoyed lol]

Rio: [amused but not trying to fully laugh ‘cos maybe if she thinks he’s in here with a random she won’t be as cockblocky, nice try, babe]

Buster: [just like ‘go away, I know you haven’t’ cos we know damn well she’s just lurking here trying to annoy him]

Rio: [the temptation to just throw her baggy at her like you would then have any reason to be hiding in here, then having an idea and sending her a text being like where are you come find me vibes so at least you can leave unseen, even if the vibe is ruined]

Buster: [a necessary evil before you two get too carried away]

Buster: Cheers for doing that so I didn’t have to tell mum and dad she [+ something scandalous she did recently that he knows but that baze don’t need to because she’s enough of a flop]

Rio: No problem, seeing how long I can avoid her is vaguely entertaining

Buster: It used to be for me too before it was daily and the novelty wore off

Rio: I can imagine

Rio: you never know, a term at uni, or two, might change things

Buster: I changed my mind about America, it’s not looking likely I’ll get amnesia from some OTT hazing ritual

Rio: I’m pleased you’re not going to be sacrificed in the name of some Greek letters and try-hard yanks

Buster: they have worse drinking games than the try-hard rich kids I’m already at school with, I’d die of boredom before their bullshit pranks could come for me

Rio: leavers going be it for you and your mates, then?

Buster: Never say never, I’ll probably see a percentage of them in the courtroom

Rio: in their defence or 🤔

Buster: if they can afford me

Rio: fair, money talks

Buster: What are you spending yours on?

Rio: Long as you don’t want it back if you disagree 

Buster: you earned it for a better class of martini than I’ve had in most of [the london postcode]

Rio: Surprising how badly you can fuck up a classic, see it happen all the time though

Buster: I’m surprised you’re not used to it how often it goes on everywhere

Buster: clothes, films, drinks, cars, even drugs

Rio: Don’t need the bad influence affecting me, I guess

Buster: Sounds like your mum influencing you ✌️

Rio: Classic isn’t how I’d describe anything she does but

Buster: Mine would be offended as hell if we did

Rio: Could be worse, you could’ve told her [the scandalous thing Nancy did]

Buster: that reaction would be harder to find funny

Rio: is she going to do the whole gap year thing?

Rio: that’ll be a break for the rest of your family too

Buster: And leave Chelsea? Christ no, she wouldn’t dare

Rio: 🙄

Buster: Why are we talking about Nancy?

Rio: that’s a good question

Rio: but I will end up talking about her some more if I answer so you better change the subject

Buster: We’re both high and you’re not scared of truth, you could tell me anything

Rio: you might be

Buster: nothing scares me, I’m as close to invincible as it’s possible for a non celeb to be 

Rio: Intriguing 

Buster: Obvious, is more accurate

Buster: I don’t have to face real, lasting consequences, what would I have to fear?

Rio: Put like that, nothing

Buster: Yeah, like I just said

Rio: I’ll probably buy myself some new shoes, as you wanted to know

Buster: [a number of inches that would mean she can reach his face easier but still be able to walk without it being insanity LOL, I can’t remember what y’all’s height difference is exactly but I know she’s smol] heels

Rio: that would look hot as fuck

Buster: You look hot as fuck with no shoes on, but it’d be hot as fuck having you at that height

Rio: I’ll show you, when I do

Buster: don’t take your shoes off here, no cunt can keep their drink in the glass

Rio: or their glass in their hands

Buster: I can’t risk you getting hurt for me

Rio: you’re kinda cute when you’re high

Buster: you’d be kinda annoyed when I ruined your photo op by having to come find you before you broke your ankle

Rio: you can have shoes that aren’t for walking in, it’s okay

Buster: And I could carry you either way, problem solved

Rio: only the polite thing to do, after-all

Buster: go wild, by all means, babe

Rio: tah for your permission 😘

Buster: It’d be mean of me not to give it when I know how badly you want it

Rio: you might have some idea 

Buster: of course I do

Rio: tell me how

Buster: I can tell by looking at you, but I don’t have to be

Rio: Only a bit glad you aren’t right now

Buster: I’m sure you know drinking games that could give me amnesia whenever you start to feel like I have too much power or too many of your worst kept secrets

Rio: It’s not like you can use it against me

Buster: wrong twin, I don’t care about playing with you like that

Rio: there’s no fun in those kind of games

Buster: I don’t need to tell you the fun we could have

Rio: I hate you for being related to me and looking like you do

Buster: Hate my parents, it’s all their fault, not mine

Rio: but then you wouldn’t be here otherwise so

Buster: and you do still want me here, you can’t hate me as much as wishing I wasn’t

Rio: ‘course I do

Rio: it’s the other people that are the issue

Buster: Eventually we’ll get it out of our system, us alone, no interruptions

Rio: I might be wasted but I’ll hold you to that, promise

Buster: good point, we shouldn’t be wasted when we do

Rio: not going to achieve anything if we can’t remember 

Buster: a guaranteed repeat performance, but that’s too manipulative, even for me

Rio: bit fucking rude to reckon you wouldn’t be forever thinking about it if it happened once

Buster: exactly, I’d be lying if I said otherwise, tricking you

Buster: why would I do that when I could be honest instead?

Rio: You have no reason to lie

Rio: I know

Buster: Yeah, you already know I think about you all the time, that I have since we were [whatever age we’re saying that truth or dare kiss happened]

Rio: I think about that all the time, more than feels normal

Buster: if we repeat it maybe we’ll get the fuck over it

Rio: what have we got to lose?

Buster: It feels half done, that’s all, and I can’t do things by halves, like I told you

Rio: I get it, you got better at kissing and you need me to know

Buster: Don’t fucking say anything if I didn’t, that’d be something to lose, all my dignity

Rio: 😅

Rio: Come on, it can’t have been that bad, or I wouldn’t still think about it now

Buster: You come on, where are you and where can we go?

Rio: I got cornered

Rio: but I know where we can go

Buster: it’s a good thing, it gave us time to sober up

Rio: thought you might say practice

Buster: You didn’t need to, you didn’t make a fool of yourself

Rio: I wouldn’t say that

Rio: probably Nance’s intention though for the pair of us

Buster: her intention for everyone for as long as I can remember

Rio: we’re talking about her again

Rio: you weren’t a bad kisser, just a perfectionist

Buster: Stop talking and I’ll show you how good I am now

Rio: at least make it down the street or we’re fucked

Rio: [but do get away from whoever cornered you, Nancy or some other chatty cath and grab him by the hand like follow me please]

Buster: [do follow her and sober up a bit how you do when you go outside or at least feel like you do anyway lol]

Rio: [not telling you where we’re going ‘cos if we talk or look at you before we get there we know what’s gonna happen so lowkey running as much as our outfit allows, clearly we know where every party is tonight and have a friend who lives not far from the pub who is hosting one that we can crash]

Buster: [just try not to bump into anyone and accidentally start a brawl because the streets would be packed with peeps in all kinds of states, v easy to get lost in if anyone did notice you leave the pub though, won’t take a sec before they’ve got no clue where you’re heading]

Rio: [it would honestly be carnage hence we’re keeping hold of you like a toddler, beyond just wanting to hold your hand, at least you know your way around enough that you probably know side streets that will be quieter and easier to navigate to this random house, which will then again be rammed, finally looking at you like ta-da because a crowd you can actually get lost in because no one here knows you]

Buster: [the perks of living somewhere is knowing all the shortcuts tourists could never and she do even if we can’t say you do, boy, won’t even be shady about this random house not being posh cos buzzing to be here and have said crowd to be lost in, just keep your mouth closed hun so nobody tries to fight you about your accent, we don’t need that rn, moving her along with his body the way he did earlier but even more so to the level they can get swept up in all the people, EYE CONTACT the entire time]

Rio: [being able to dance how you actually want to dance and not how you would have to at family functions keeping it PG, whatever this song is we’re doing the most with it because so not the point]

Buster: [we love to see it even though you’ll both be DYING immediately from how immediately indecent it is because the entire point is some of this tension finally being addressed and he’s likewise going all in to do that because really are telling ourself and justifying that this is going to be a one time makeout sesh that we’ll then never refer to again please and all will be right with the world lmao]

Rio: [oh lads, good luck with that, the casual way we’re already DEAD because not only have we never had reason to be this close to you for this long but definitely not with this sort of energy behind it]

Buster: [Winnie said good luck trying to dance posh white boy as if he’s not also both of those things haha, but yeah thank god this is mutual and he’s as dead and they are both giving the same energy or else that’d be awkward, really just only dancing rn and savouring that because y’all could never before rn even though he’d obviously desperately wanna pin her against a wall atm too]

Rio: [also that this is a messy night and messier than the pub by definition of it being a private party so the vibe is encouraging the behaviour y’all shamelessly wanna carry out anyway; obviously the best way to dance is for you to grind up against him but we have to keep finding ways to make EYE CONTACT in spite of this fact too ‘cos duh]

Buster: [and equally as obviously at some point he is gonna start kissing her neck whilst y’all are dancing away together here because gotta]

Rio: [when you can react exactly how you wanna to that because who can or is bothered to listen and how little does it matter ‘what are you waiting for?’ ‘cos there’s nothing stopping you now apart from the fact you can stay here as long as you want, realistically]

Buster: [oh the freedom ‘Why are you rushing me?’ in her ear and he’s then doing the most with said earlobe to a torturously slow degree like excuse you gal ‘Don’t you like this?’ because we know she do by the inevitable reaction it will cause]

Rio: [‘you know why’ before he’s fully gone in on our earlobe and made it so we’re unable to respond in any way that isn’t 🥺]

Buster: [kind of slow dancing irrespective of what this song is but in the way that he’s just blatantly holding her close af and doing all the deliberate movements to kill her, kissing her neck again but in a really slow and intense way]

Rio: [really just letting you hold us up here and now, despite the fact you wouldn’t actually be that drunk because you were on baby duty for ages, ‘cos actually want to experience this exactly how you wanna do it]

Buster: [tbf how easy he could hold her up is a whole mood not just cos she is smol but because he’s fit af in an athletic sense, like literally very muscley and strong]

Rio: [appreciating that the only way we can by touching you all over ‘cos again, no call to be doing anything beyond a hug hello and goodbye really]

Buster: [and even that y’all probably weren’t because can’t trust yourselves that much]

Rio: [tea, the temptation to linger would be way too real, as it is now]

Buster: [probably picking her up right here rn so she can literally wrap herself around him fully because why wouldn’t you]

Rio: [full koala mode activated, also point out there’s 0 chance your dress isn’t now a t-shirt because that would be impossible so excuse us everyone at this party but we can’t pretend we care or are thinking about that even slightly; our mouth would be THAT close to yours but you have to kiss us so we’re kissing your neck instead because you’ve done that so we can]

Buster: [thank god everybody at this party is being feral cos yeah, I’m like gal how tight is that dress, how far can it go, are you okay? Lol, but he’s using the excuse of trying to fix it for her how he did earlier to just touch her while she’s kissing his neck because again, of course he would]

Rio: [it’s probably some sort of bodycon that has just rolled up with this position, otherwise we definitely would’ve ripped it, would also not be bothered but we don’t have to say that’s a thing yet lol]

Buster: [you might have to be seen by members of your fam at some point later on even if y’all don’t ever go back to the pub, so no, there’s no need for outfits to be destroyed haha, doing a lil hair pull that’s quite gentle but still !! to manoeuvre y’all so he can finally kiss her, you’re welcome for this position because I feel like your height difference is like a foot or almost so that’d be annoying otherwise]

Rio: [the way this kiss is gonna have y’all reeling because the sheer intensity, was fully planning in our head to pull out every move you’ve learnt in the years since but you can’t even make this some performance, what is happening is just happening instinctively and there’s no controlling it like that]

Buster: [he was likewise planning not only that but to pull away after you’ve had this kiss like okay cool we’re done, we did it lol because clearly the dare kiss was however long it was and we were thinking we’d do like double that or whatever to ‘get it out of our system’, which it goes without saying is not happening because even if he does manage to break away at any point it’ll be the cliche of immediately kissing again anyway]

Rio: [can’t call it a stunned silence because furthest thing from it but feeling vaguely like we might be tripping here because surely this can’t be real]

Buster: [do have to say that whenever there is a breathing pause he takes the opportunity to sit y’all down even if it’s literally on the floor or a stair if this place is that rammed so that she can sit on him and we can combat the height difference that way, will nearly be killing people by accident because won’t stop being extra for a single second whilst moving and will instead be kissing her neck or just fully making out with her like there aren’t hazards everywhere]

Rio: [not helping because fully encouraging this always, just running our hands through your hair as we kiss you as deeply as we are physically able, pushing into whatever surface we’re now sat on]

Buster: [he is a child of baze and he can’t be tamed, soz everyone, just here to be the most feral we possibly can and touch her everywhere he might have ever wanted to while he drags her into his lap as much as he is physically able]

Rio: [‘Buster’ revelling in saying it, saying it how we are, dragging those syllables out not being hard with how we’re feeling]

Buster: [he should not be able to drag her name out when it’s that short but he can and he is because that extra and that affected by everything that’s occurred]

Rio: [forcing yourself to stop kissing because you have to look at him to get across the absolute !!!! obvs]

Buster: [can’t stop himself from moving indecently while holding that eye contact because as !!! in this moment and every moment since y’all started this and therefore giving her a loud and extra sound that isn’t in any way muffled by y’all kissing]

Rio: [when there is too little/literally nothing stopping you from fully hooking up with him, going from nothing to this in what feels like no time at all, overwhelmed is an understatement, making our own movements that match the sounds we cannot stop making]

Buster: [in her case there’s not even clothes stopping her, can literally feel everything at all times, soz gal and also you’re welcome, cos he’s obvs syncing up with her with this, getting the best rhythm going ever and being loud about it]

Rio: [thank GOD it’s as blatant that this is mutual because there’s no hiding this or styling it out as something else ‘we can do it’ as if you’re not suggesting what you are and are just talking about sneaking a drink or something else you might’ve as kids]

Buster: [not stopping because simply cannot but hitting her with a ‘we can’t’ as you’re still doing the most because didn’t just casually bring condoms in your pocket with you to Dublin and obvs the Jay of it all wasn’t long ago so you’re all too aware of not trying to make that mistake again]

Rio: [lowkey so thrown you don’t even know how to react because it’s not as if it’s the sort of thing you can insist about but like… ‘don’t you like it?’]

Buster: [a breathless and hot af lol because he clearly do love all of this ‘of course I do, babe, I just didn’t pack for it’ what an adorable way of phrasing this contraception quandary sir]

Rio: [😍 because that was adorable and hot in equal measures no lie detected]

Buster: [have to kiss her again because the heart eyes are too much and he can’t deal]

Rio: [‘you know I’m on the pill though, yeah’ ‘cos why wouldn’t you be]

Buster: [when Chloe would have blatantly told him that lie because she’s that bitch so it stops him way more dramatically than it should or he can style out]

Rio: [having to act like that’s not lowkey offensive like oh, okay ‘I’ll get drinks then’ like brb]

Buster: [‘I’ll go get them’ because he literally can’t verbalise everything that’s going through his head rn and needs to run away, not giving her even half a second to argue despite the fact she was literally on top of him and it would be easier for her to do it because that !!]

Rio: [let him go girl because he’s that shook you’re not going to try and stop him, especially when you think it’s purely this situation]

Buster: [when I just know he’s gonna get into a fight with someone on the way there or back and I’m like I sure wish you wouldn’t, boy]

Rio: [standard house party/st paddys behaviour but we’re still going to get involved/get you out of here]

Buster: [if she didn’t it’d escalate to half the lads here joining in because he’s posh and english and nobody needs that today, especially not baze if they had to make a trip to A&E]

Rio: [you’re welcome we’re not also making your trip include one to the hospital lads, not that we did it for your sake but still, heading back towards the pub now]

Buster: [‘give me a second here, yeah?’ like she’s marching you towards the pub against your will]

Rio: [stopping but looking around like let’s not get into any more fights ‘you alright?’ ‘cos would obviously still care if you were hurt, even if this is supremely awkward]

Buster: [‘no, this girl lied to me about that before’ just getting into it because he is that bitch, not what she meant remotely but ily for this sir you make me laugh]

Rio: [taking the time you need to piece that together in your head, then shaking said head when it dawns on you ‘that’s fucked’ because it is]

Buster: [‘she is, I should’ve used that as contraception’ because truly she’s a mad one]

Rio: [shrug like we’ve all been there ‘that’s alright, that makes sense’ ‘cos just a relief to know what actually happened there vs what it was in your head]

Buster: [a shrug like you’re not still thinking about that whole situation that you’ve barely gotten into ‘I didn’t want you to think, to keep thinking, it was about you’ because it’s really a him issue]

Rio: [‘thanks’ and nudging into him like you think he’s taking the piss but you know he’s not and you’re also being sincere with it because seriously]

Buster: [wiping his nostril the way he did hers after the coke binge but to check if it’s bleeding before they do go back to the pub but it’s not so doing a smirk as if you’re so great for avoiding that and not ruining your expensive af top with blood and it wasn’t just luck]

Rio: [‘you’re welcome’ rolling our eyes like * that was down to me, boy, not you]

Buster: [‘Jesus, you’re beautiful’ sounds like he’s taking the piss because she just rolled her eyes at him but really not, is really just sincerely saying it after looking at her nbd]

Rio: [‘you might be concussed’ like oh no, maybe you didn’t get away with it after all but coming closer to you again like we need to/ can check you over]

Buster: [‘there’s only one of you’ literally like don’t worry I’m not seeing double but it lowkey also sounds like a line like nobody compares so shaking his head like oh no that was corny of me]

Rio: [grinning ‘your secret is safe with me’ like no one will ever hear that from me]

Buster: [‘it’s no secret I’ve never lost a fight’ because gotta get that boxing brag in, clearly]

Rio: [‘you don’t lose’ just an observation we’re making casually rn]

Buster: [shaking his head cos no he don’t you’re correct and it’s not an option]

Rio: [‘I thought it was ‘cos of Edie’ just blurting this out, because of course that’s where your mind was when contraceptive chat]

Buster: [‘it’s a cute kid, cute as they ever are’ soz for calling you it there Libi, how rude]

Rio: [‘all kids are cute!’ like what are you talking about lmao]

Buster: [‘Billie wasn’t’ again soz girl but it’s true, we’ve all seen baby Cara]

Rio: [😱 like it’s not true but we are loling ‘cos she’d be the first to say it ‘you’re rude’]

Buster: [‘Jury’s still out on Violette’ because she’s literally a tiny bub and we don’t know yet that she’s gonna be cute af cos going by Ro we can all assume not, she was not it ‘but I’d bet against’]

Rio: [‘it’s a miracle she’s here at all’ because everyone is shocked and not in a good way about you, soz honey]

Buster: [‘her mum would love to hear you say that’ because Ro is all about that religious life sis, she’d be living for the word miracle]

Rio: [‘she doesn’t love anything that comes out of my mouth’ Ro always been a hater sis, despite Rio being like her mum and trying to be friends with everyone regardless]

Buster: [‘her loss’ with so much feeling because he loves everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth, especially during that makeout and we have to be 1000% clear about that as if it wasn’t obvious]

Rio: [‘definitely not mad about it’ pulling a face like let’s not imagine that reality thank you]

Buster: [doing a big Fearghal type lol because I can and I will]

Rio: [😍 again]

Buster: [picking up her wrist and holding it for no reason except those heart eyes killing him again ‘I know what you’re mad about’ because I, Junie B Jones didn’t even mean to get back on my bullshit and cockblock y’all that hard but it happened nevertheless and he’s as gutted as she is, obvs]

Rio: [‘what you going to do about it though?’ ‘cos now we know it wasn’t all the sheer drama we were spiralling it was we can be flirty again]

Buster: [‘Is the flat being rented?’ genuine q because if it’s just one of the fam staying above the pub he has no qualms sneaking up there and obvs if it’s empty rn even less]

Rio: [‘Rocky’s family are in there’ ‘cos he died this time last year apparently so that makes sense to me that y’all are getting situated and they’d just let you be there for free because yeah]

Buster: [‘Good, come on’ because gonna at least try and sneak, awks it sounds like you’re saying good he’s dead, excuse you tbh]

Rio: [‘we can see if the lights are on’ like okay but not promising anything ‘cos Toni is only 3 and Archie isn’t 1 yet so their mum might be putting them to bed or something]

Buster: [we know damn well that she doesn’t join in with the fam functions as much as the rest of the core fam do and she would probably use the fact the kids are little as a reason to dip even though there are other little kids there like Libi ‘We can finish what we started’ because she asked what he was going to do, too confident that Rocky’s widow isn’t a flop but we get it, you don’t know her, boy]

Rio: [sure you won’t be living above this pub much longer ‘cos fail to see how you can ignore these kind of celebrations but it’s probably a late enough o’clock you’d be trying hen ‘not out your system yet’ like yeah, I know, definition of 🤞 without literally doing it]

Buster: [Yeah, I’m sure she hates living there but soz hun you’ve got two little kids and are grieving so it’s actually the right place for you, but anyway, this boy just LOOKING at her because it CLEARLY is not]

Rio: [looking back in the direction of the house/house party like ugh ‘if only you didn’t smack my mate’ probably wasn’t your mate actually and just another random but that would be so much simpler ‘I’ve not forgotten how to be discreet’ shrugging, like could be a mood]

Buster: [‘I didn’t realise when I did that he was the only one you’ve got’ like my bad lol but not at all soz actually because there must be a million other house parties going on that they could crash if necessary]

Rio: [‘shut up’ with a grin as she shakes her head ‘they were just the closest and you were desperate’]

Buster: [‘You shut up’ like excuse you I was not, despite the blatant evidence to the contrary ‘you’ve got your heart set on playing hide and seek, I haven’t forgotten how much you love it’ because something you could have done as kids, why wouldn’t you, having a whole pub to play in, and he’s actually done you a massive favour by brawling]

Rio: [‘Nothing wrong with desperate but-’ like oh okay, let’s play it cool then, if you wanna ‘it was best at my house’ remembering because you could legit get lost inside or out at the cali residence]

Buster: [‘but you’re about to change your mind so fast’ because gonna lowkey torture you even more than he did earlier by making you wait for a kiss, obvs, and you will be dying and desperate then]

Rio: [‘you’re on’ like okay let’s play, speeding up purely so you have to look at us]

Buster: [shamelessly checking her out again because not gonna be able to for a minute if y’all are sneaking around so simply must]

Rio: [turning back to LOOK at you ‘you think I’m beautiful’ loudly ‘cos not near enough the pub yet and you could just be taking the piss out of some harmless and appropriate compliment, though you are not and your grin is way more real than any smirk would ever]

Buster: [‘You are’ so matter of fact about this like yes correct, because it’s just true ‘you’re flawless’ again, no lie detected, it’s a fact not just his opinion, soz]

Rio: [‘says you’ as matter of fact about it ‘cos undeniable, even if we’re blushing too]

Buster: [a nod ‘It’s not a line coming from someone like me’ because hot peeps can get whoever they want so it’s not the same as a dude who doesn’t think he is just putting her on a pedestal, is the logic here]

Rio: [‘that’s the other twin’ like we’ve already established it would be weirder on your part if this was some sort of elaborate scheme or joke]

Buster: [‘you can say ugly, or evil, both if you desperately want, she’s not here’ rude but you hate her so, use of the word desperate for the pure bants there haha]

Rio: [turning back around with an eye roll like let’s not lmao]

Buster: [absolutely just smirking unrepentantly]

Rio: [just leaning down to deal with a shoe issue you probably aren’t even having because you can]

Buster: [picking her up because he can like oh that shoe issue must mean you need carrying the rest of the way]

Rio: [‘what are you doing?’ tone is 😻 though]

Buster: [‘You looked like you were having a problem, I’m solving it for you, like I said I could’ because he did earlier when they were talking about shoes]

Rio: [‘should say something about your generosity now, right?’ as we’re doing throwbacks but we’re not quoting ourself because we’re too busy playing with your curls]

Buster: [‘I don’t have to do charity anymore’ because got into uni already basically and because he’s v much enjoying this as much as you and that’s why he’s doing it]

Rio: [‘[the random flirting with you earlier] will be devastated’ like ha ha soz not soz]

Buster: [‘I already devastated her by giving [whatever the drink was he made] to you’ also amused and not soz]

Rio: [just smiling to ourself about it shamelessly ‘was good’ off-handedly]

Buster: [‘I made it’ like no shit, of course it was]

Rio: [‘what did I know about your hidden talents?’ in his ear, lingering there]

Buster: [‘you’ll know all about how talented I am when I find you’ for the hide and seek of it all whether we actually let you play or not]

Rio: [making the most frustrated little noise]

Buster: [playing with her hair despite the fact he’s carrying her, don’t drop her please]

Rio: [gonna say you can see the lights on upstairs as you’re approaching so that noise soon becomes actually frustrated like no get out lmao]

Buster: [putting her down like oh no oh no]

Rio: [just looking like do we go in, or immediately somewhere else, what is the move here]

Buster: [looking around as if the fam are gonna be lurking this far away from the pub and have seen y’all and therefore will force you to go back in, but of course not ‘plenty of places to hide in the cellar’ slightly spooky suggestion but I respect it, at least you’re pondering]

Rio: [‘only come down if the barrel needs changing’ like that’s easy enough to not get caught with that being the only reason anyone’d be down there unless anyone else in this fam was trying to hook up lmao ‘so, count to…’ trying to judge how long it’ll take you to get in and get down there because undoubtedly going to get slightly waylaid by everyone like where have you been girl ‘I’ll tell you when to start counting’]

Buster: [nodding and v gently pushing her in the direction of this pub like okay go]

Rio: [get gone girl, socialise like you are remotely engaged in whatever is being said to you]

Buster: [meanwhile he’s gotta awkwardly give it a minute so it’s not obvious af you two just appeared together after a long af absence, at least you don’t have to be social af nobody expects it of you, just check on both your sisters, one cos you have to and one cos you wanna]

Rio: [just keep checking where you are, goes without saying, obviously not noticeably so to anyone else but we are]

Buster: [likewise, as if she’s gonna just disappear off to the cellar and hide there forever without telling him lol]

Rio: [lmao imagine]

Rio: Alright, down from 60 should do it

Buster: You’re on

Rio: You aren’t gonna find me

Buster: You aren’t going to be able to stay hidden away from me

Rio: You’ve forgotten how good I am at this

Buster: No, you’ve forgotten how loud I can make you

Rio: I don’t think I have

Buster: I think you need reminding

Rio: keep looking, I want you to find me

Buster: I know you do, babe

Rio: I didn’t think [someone we’re shading here] would ever shut up

Buster: if you’d let them get another round in they wouldn’t

Rio: I don’t want another drink right now

Buster: We both want the same thing, thank Christ

Rio: having to avoid you forever would be tedious, never mind footing your therapy bill

Buster: Generous of you, as per, but my parents’ll cover it, even with the expense of Nancy’s sessions, it’ll probably be fine

Rio: As long as you promise to talk about me, at least once

Buster: it’s a huge relief you’re asking me to promise that way and not vice versa, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself

Rio: I don’t think you should have to

Rio: what’s wrong about it

Buster: Nothing, opening up is the right thing to do

Rio: You’ve already got the hang of it

Rio: pretty jealous how turned on it’ll definitely make your shrink but price we have to pay

Buster: It’d be stupid of you to be jealous of anyone, and I know you’re smart

Rio: I’ll assume you mean that the genuine way and not the backhanded one

Buster: I’ve seen no evidence of you working hard all through school, what else can I say?

Rio: I’m not going to give up my hiding spot just because you’re being rude, btw

Rio: work smarter not harder, what can I say?

Buster: Are you going to at least try and defend yourself?

Buster: I’m waiting to hear what a good girl you are

Rio: [stop breathing wherever you are]

Rio: That’s not fair

Buster: Playing fair contradicts what you said about working smarter

Rio: Not you learning something from me

Buster: It’s about time, you didn’t teach me fuck all about kissing during that dare

Rio: As if you would

Rio: too many 👀s watching

Buster: I like an audience

Rio: yeah?

Buster: Come on, that shouldn’t be news to you

Rio: Oh, I’m just giving myself time to think about it

Buster: Fine by me, you’re giving me an opportunity to locate you with how you’re breathing about it

Rio: I’ll practice pretending I’m gutted to lose to you

Buster: Am I supposed to pretend I don’t see you too?

Rio: Never

Buster: The biggest relief of the night, but only so far

Buster: [appear and pull her out of whatever ‘hiding place’ she’s in]

Rio: [being SHOOK when this happens is the closest we get to being anything close to gutted about this, grabbing him like you were that scared by his sudden appearance]

Buster: [hugging her like she’s that scared we have to, not like you just wanna do that or anything]

Rio: [milking this for all it’s worth ‘cos we can all just pretend we’re drunk later it’s fine, yeah, wrapping yourself around him like before]

Buster: [likewise milking that for all it’s worth even though there’s probably numerous places you could, and I’m sure will eventually, put her down on, kissing her neck like he did before]

Rio: [‘what cologne are you wearing?’ ‘cos we like it and it’s the only coherent thought we’re having, tilting our head to the ceiling so you have all the skin you could possibly wanna kiss]

Buster: [telling her in between all the neck kisses ever because why would he stop, obvs his voice sounding indecent is one of many reasons not to so]

Rio: [closing your eyes because can’t deal already ‘maybe I’ll buy some too’ like we’re adding it to the shopping list with the heels]

Buster: [‘I’ll send it to you’ because him sending and buying her things is a literal ruster staple OG so I gotta, kissing her collarbone and shoulder now too]

Rio: [‘there’ ‘cos that’s where you would wear it, pointing to that spot behind your ears too, almost the back of your neck, obviously that word was basically a moan because we so approve of that idea]

Buster: [taking it as an instruction and going in on kissing her everywhere she’s directed him to, to a basically torturous extent, of course he’ll eventually go in on her earlobe again too how he did before, while he’s there]

Rio: [‘what will it take?’ like tell me how to get you to kiss me now please]

Buster: [‘You already have the answer’ like gotta be desperate and lowkey beg because of what was said earlier]

Rio: [gotta keep your mouth closed for now girl even though we know you’ll break before long lmao, just pointing at your lips in the same manner like he will be tricked]

Buster: [fully leaning in like he’s gonna do it but obvs at the literal last second being like ‘say please’]

Rio: [‘please’ with literally no hesitation because we don’t care, we know what we want]

Buster: [finally kissing her but it’s v soft and almost chaste, almost because he only has so much restraint his damn self lol, to be rude and torture her again]

Rio: [‘I know you know how to do more than that’ still in his grill so whispering despite there being no need because no one is around ‘you just put your hands here-’ and putting them on her waist ‘-then put your lips together…’ once he has kissing him as delicately but then really slowly using your tongue to pry his lips apart again]

Buster: [quietly but !! moaning into her mouth on that last move, we’ll never know what he was gonna say, RIP to that sass]

Rio: [just this being the slowest and most deliberate makeout of all time as if either of you has never done this before, putting our hands on either side of his face and pulling him closer to you with it]

Buster: [letting that kissing sesh last what feels like forever before he’s gotta relent and put her down whether that’s on a crate or a literal shelf or wherever the fuck because not trying to drop you and his hands be trying to wander too much to be safely holding her up rn, and immediately almost pulling her off said surface because he’s pulling her closer to him and nearly off the edge]

Rio: [hold onto whatever you can and need to to not because never going to tell you to stop doing anything, especially not when it makes it so blatant to us how badly you want us too ‘I’ve wanted this from the minute you walked in’ looking at him with all the !!]

Buster: [overcompensating for how near to the edge she was and pushing her back until she’s literally against the wall that whatever she’s sitting on atm is against, taking her wrists and pinning them over her head to said wall as he looks back at her with as much !! because hard same, it cannot be overstated that he hadn’t stopped kissing her for a single second until that eye contact so it’s really bringing the drama ‘so you walked in wearing that and waited for me’ cos it’s such a lewk that can’t be overstated either]

Rio: [the LOUDEST GASP because so about being unable to move away from how he’s looking at us in any way, nodding like yes, exactly ‘I don’t care how many other people see, as long as you’re looking’]

Buster: [changing it up so he’s got her wrists pinned one handed/armed and the other free because necessary rn ‘it’s for me, same as this’ touching her v saucily and blatantly because how turned on you are is as blatant but gotta always make it more so]

Rio: [trying to not look away into our hair or bite our lip or close our eyes, anything to deal with how we’re feeling beyond the most intense eye contact of all time and just shamelessly making the sounds you’d otherwise be trying to conceal ‘you knew’ like you didn’t have to touch me to work that out, that’s how obvious I am ‘you did that’]

Buster: [we love to maintain eye contact against all odds, I could never, but you do you, guys, doing the most here with this hand like she’s not already dying because duh we have to be as shameless ‘the things I wanna do to you, Rio’ could have said babe but saying her name because we’re that !! too]

Rio: [‘do them’ beyond desperately ‘please’ like you forgot but have now remembered your manners ‘everything you think of’]

Buster: [‘not yet’ the way that could be an entirely different phrase than one of the first things he said to her earlier because of how he’s saying it and yet is somehow also exactly the same delivery too because he’s that bitch ‘I’m not done showing you what a good kisser I am’ and we ALL know what’s gonna happen here because shoutout to that misfits content being the only things we had back in the day and eating her out totally counts as kissing nbd, being as extra as always, giving it all the build up]

Rio: [god bless that content truly, we’re not okay here at all ‘I’m going to die’ because if you can’t be dramatic now when can you]

Buster: [another hot af breathless lol because she is the drama but we’re about it ‘yeah, you are’ too unrepentant, simply doing the MOST because this is his fave thing to do ever in any universe of ruster, soz not soz]

Rio: [the unholy amount of noise we have to make, getting pushed harder and harder against this wall because cannot fucking cope ‘Buster, baby-’]

Buster: [we’re all thrilled that y’all picked the day the pub is the loudest and rowdiest it’ll ever be because he can’t cope much better and isn’t being remotely quiet himself, though obvs not as loud as you gal but his time will come lol, literally will have to take a sec at some point to at least unbutton whatever fancy af trousers he’s shown up to this function in though, because too turned on to be comfortable]

Rio: [honestly thank god because attempting to be anything but the most about this would be near impossible, especially when you do that and we’re shamelessly staring ‘for me?’]

Buster: [shamelessly taking a sec to pull her up and kiss her so she’s more upright + back closer to the edge than she was and can get an even better view not to mention reach him if she did want to touch him because why wouldn’t we, it’s not as if you should take any kind of time to breathe or rest your extra af mouth]

Rio: [we simply have to touch you immediately and with as much urgency as we’re kissing you, using our hands but also pressing our body against you and using our lack of clothing at this point to our advantage]

Buster: [my boo said sir it’s your turn to be killed and he really is dying because he’s been doing shit to her almost exclusively since they entered this cellar and living off her reactions for a minute here so it’d be SO !! that she’s finally actually touching him, and like that, no less, his own unholy noises, of course, and he definitely didn’t set out to bite her lip v dramatically but it’s happening with the GASP that escapes the first time she’s using her body like that]

Rio: [likewise dying to finally touch him and just because you can’t fuck him doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do and all the possibilities have us feral, just sliding you between the outer folds of our vagina for lack of a better term so you’re as good as doing it without any penetration]

Buster: [absolutely gotta move y’all to these cellar steps despite the obvious danger of discovery and y’all loud asses being closer to the door so you have more room to be feral in all the ways you want without her falling off whatever she’s perched precariously on because he’d be really losing it here, excuse us, nobody need to change a barrel for a bit, okay?]

Rio: [don’t mind us, there’d be no cover story for this position and the state of the pair of you but we’re beyond caring and sheer dumb luck is on your side rn]

Buster: [seriously beyond caring because he is gonna get her on his lap again and y’all are gonna end up hooking up, thank god she is on the pill and it is that effective, I can’t stop this and he doesn’t want to, it’s only a matter of time]

Rio: [you aren’t trying to trap him like an unhinged bitch, it’s all good, telling him you’ll take the morning-after pill in front of him because truly anything so this can happen]

Buster: [‘I trust you’re not bullshitting me, we can’ because true]

Rio: [‘you’ve earned it’]

Buster: [when hearing that is like his ultimate turn on, lol, we know what kind of bitch he is, 100% that one, so there’s 0 hesitation this time sis]

Rio: [the way our eyes are gonna roll to the back of our head ‘you’re fucking me’ have to state the obvious because we can’t believe it]

Buster: [unholy is not the word for the moan that’s gonna come out of him when this penetration finally occurs so it’s FINE lol, they’re so even ‘I have to’ also stating the obvious, there was no way y’all weren’t gonna do this]

Rio: [‘you need to’ not even wanting to kiss you because the sounds you’re making are so good so we have to kiss across your shoulders and chest]

Buster: [‘We both need to get it all out of our system, everything, or it won’t happen once’ when you really do believe this is not gonna happen again if you just do it well enough lol lol]

Rio: [pushing your bra down and grabbing his hands to put them there like I know you need to do this then]

Buster: [did she have her nipples pierced or was that a fever dream? I feel like she did because she had to take them out when she got preggo when we did baby Saint and they were both devastated about it, if that’s true I’m cackling because he’d be so lowkey surprised because not gonna have been a thing with all the posh london and clean cut american girls he has hooked up with]

Rio: [she did indeed, so happy at your adorable surprised face ‘you can pull ‘em’ demonstrating how ‘cos the main point beyond aesthetics] 

Buster: [do that and be living laughing loving boy because it’d be so different and he’d be so about it because highkey feels like he has done everything and is so bored, not rn obvs haha but usually, peeps are so dramatic, this woman was like having pierced nipples is like having another clit, please calm down, there was this whole article I just read where everyone was popping off about having better orgasms]

Rio: [need to put your sister onto that in the future lmao but whether people are being OTT or nah, we’re still going harder in your lap as a result]

Buster: [literally read it and thought of jc like you’re not having loads of kids, treat yourselves when you’re done, guys, our minds, these two are also living their best lives rn despite the fact anyone could hear or interrupt y’all and we stan]

Rio: [we know you’re shamelessly being the loudest because the perfect opportunity to do so ‘this pussy is yours you better cum in it’]

Buster: [mhmm, he’s playing with these piercings with his tongue, gently pulling on them with his teeth, kissing her everywhere else on her chest, just being feral af whilst fucking her like both their lives depend on it ‘this is what it takes to stop you being hung up on manners, getting you like this?’ because the ladies first of it all during the coke binge, like you should be going first gal, excuse you, almost annoyed in a bants way like damn I can’t pull this trick every time you pop off about it]

Rio: [whimpering at this because yes to your actions and what you’re saying ‘I can’t help that there’s only one way to get me to behave properly’ so unrepentant ‘whoever’s fucking me like this calls the shots’]

Buster: [stopping what he’s doing for a sec to LOOK up at her ‘oh come on, nobody else has ever fucked you the way I am’ where’s the lie tbh but you didn’t have to put every man in Dublin on blast like that sir]

Rio: [‘don’t make me miss you whilst you’re still inside me’ trying to make him move again like you come on]

Buster: [‘I can’t help that you will, baby’ not the first baby of the night from him, doing the most again as if he remotely needs to prove how true that is]

Rio: [when that pout barely even has time to register before you’re screaming again]

Buster: [when he put his finger on her lip for the sec that it did like he was pointing to it cos we see you but then he’s just putting his fingers in her mouth to be indecent when she is]

Rio: [when you haven’t had chance to show off your own head skills so you must do the most to remind him of the fact]

Buster: [‘don’t make me miss something I’ll never get the chance to experience’ because again, really think this is it and she’s never gonna suck his dick lmao]

Rio: [not stopping like but I must]

Buster: [dying about it obviously so the ‘behave’ hits different than how you thought it would, more like a plea than a command there, boy]

Rio: [do let him take his fingers away just to show the mess that’ll make and so you can say ‘there’s time before you go’ like one time means one night not just this ‘you got to taste me’]

Buster: [holding her face via her jaw to make a mess of it and keep you both thinking about this future blowjob, there’s no need honestly except that also it makes the way he’s LOOKING at her even more dramatic like yes okay, agreed ‘you taste even better than you look’ no lie detected, he LOVED it]

Rio: [thank the lord you’re a minimal makeup ‘cos I’m stunning kind of gal but you would wear some for parties and with a bit of fixing before you’re seen you could’ve just been really sweating it out on the dancefloor, not that this is running through your head when you’re encouraging him to absolutely wreck any and all makeup and hairstyle you might’ve had ‘you’re a better fuck than you look, somehow’ ‘cos saying you already look like an amazing one, not the shade that could be in another scenario, obvs]

Buster: [the hottest lol of all time as if he’s taking it as he’s being shaded]

Rio: [laughing with you even though we lowkey surprise ourselves that we’re capable whilst still fully doing the most]

Buster: [the heart eyes though because it would’ve been ages since you laughed together lbr]

Rio: [in a genuine way, just you two and not in a group setting, literally forever, probably; so gotta kiss him so you don’t say something stupid when you have the same realisation]

Buster: [have another intense makeout sesh and save yourselves]

Rio: [we’re fine, not going to let unexpected emotions get in the way of a good time]

Buster: [just focus on trying to make her cum first sir, you are a child of baze and we all remember when they literally had a competition about it]

Rio: [we’re not going to be making that as much of a challenge for you has to be said but it’s still a victory nonetheless]

Buster: [it’ll happen pretty much at the same time anyway I’m sure, you’ve both been as feral as each other]

Rio: [just on these stairs like well fuck]

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[whoree321]

Hi! Not sure if requests are still open, but do you have any headcanons for echo with a S/o who reads a lot?

hi love! requests are still very much open!! i got a little bit carried away with this but i don’t care, echo is a sweet angel and i love him until my dying breath. also i’m just pretending that in tbb everyone has datapads they can use like kindle readers idk if that’s true or not but right here right now it is

echo with an s/o who loves to read headcanons

ok so i consider it canon that echo likes to read

like they made it a plot point in Rookies that he liked the Rishi Moon station bc it was quiet and he could just vibe and read army regulations

was the purpose of that probably just to let us know that he really likes rules? yes. but do i also think it means he enjoys reading those rules? yes.

before the citadel, echo used to read for pleasure a lot. he liked manuals and protocols, but he also liked fiction too

I could totally see him as like a stephen king, james patterson kinda dude. like thrillers, murder mysteries, etc

after the citadel tho, he just couldn’t find the motivation to actually sit down and read a book. he’d start one and get through maybe a chapter before getting distracting, putting it down, and not picking it back up

when you join up with the bad batch and he sees you curl up in the gunner’s nest with your nose buried in your datapad for the first time, his interest is definitely piqued

echo can tell you’re reading something, but he’s hesitant to ask you about it since he doesn’t wanna disturb you. while he’s hemming and hawing over interrupting you, tech beats him to it

echo doesn’t know whether to punch him or thank him

the way that your eyes light up as you start explaining the book you’re reading nearly stops his heart right then and there. the fact that it’s a book he’s read before gets it racing immediately after

when tech gets called away from your conversation, echo very shyly tries to pick up where he left off

“i-i’ve actually read that one before, [author] is pretty good”

a few hours later and your discussion is only ended by your drooping eyelids

from then on, you and echo build a fast friendship around books

he loves to hear about the newest book you’re reading. if he’s read it before, he’s delving into opinions and theories and analysis with you. if he hasn’t, he’s asking questions and listening intently as you give him the full run down

echo is pretty much the only batcher who even really notices your reading, much less engages with you about it. every once in a while tech will bring it up, but echo swears that you only speak half as passionately about it with tech as you do with him

one night, he wakes up frantically from a nightmare. you were still awake reading and when you heard him gasp and bolt up you hurried over to see if he was ok

he tries to brush it off as nothing, but the beads of sweat on his forehead and the way his hands and voice shake give him away. you sit with him in silence for a few minutes before asking if you could read your book to him

he looks surprised for a moment before nodding and settling back on his bunk, gesturing for you to join him. you read out loud to him until you notice he’s asleep, putting away your datapad and getting some rest yourself

afterwards you wind up spending pretty much every night like that

your passion for reading actually inspires echo to try cracking open a book again

he remembers a while back when you told him your favorite book, and he decides come hell or high water he will read it and he will finish it

you notice one day he’s been pretty quiet and you see him completely enraptured in his datapad. you ask him what he’s doing and balk a little when he tells you (you know he hasn’t been able to commit to a book in a really long time)

you ask why he picked that particular book and he just grins so wide and says something like “well you said it was your favorite so i figured it had to be pretty good”

you’re so shocked and flattered that he remembered you saying that and valued your opinion/recommendation so much that you lean in and kiss him right there

once you’re in a relationship, there’s very little that changes. you still discuss your books at length and read every night before bed

the only difference now really is that echo joins you a lot more

the two of will take turns reading to each other at night

you both also form a little book club with tech. you pick a book and discuss certain chapters every few days. every meeting almost always results in you debating with tech over some part of the book until echo puts a stop to it (he always tell you later that you were right)

overall i think echo would love an S/O that loves to read, it’s something he could really bond with them over

[scribbly-dee]

Inspired by this post

I adore corruption arcs, so I graded how well the non-archivist characters would have damned humanity if they had been the archivist.

Sasha James 11/10, would be an ideal archivist, this plus her height is probably why the stranger monster targeted her before she could peak

I have a soft spot for any au that knows Sasha has never seen a brain cell in her life and that any unhinged!Sasha au is really just a regular Sasha au. Picture it with me. Sasha and Jon have parallel archivist tracks, until Sasha (my beloved show off) decides: you know what would make me more efficient at snooping? Becoming a Human Google. And things accelerate. The Web doesn't even need to bother with subtly magic lighters, it slaps all 14 marks on her at once by pulling up next to Sasha in a windowless van with "free secrets 👍" written on the side.

After the Unknowing, Sasha takes over the institute from Elias instead of Martin and Peter. With Tim dead, Jon in a coma, Martin lonely-snatched, Melanie compulsively homicidal, Daisy in the coffin, and Basira on autopilot, she quickly bonds with Rosie, the ultimate nosiness enabler. Sasha is a fully marked archivist for a good long while, but doesn't start the apocalypse right away because she's eager to read ALL the ominous notes Elias left, so the watcher's crown statement is in her to-be-read pile. When the apocalypse starts (Rosie: "Hey, Sasha, I just read something extra fucked up that Elias wrote, wanna see?" Sasha: "God yes."), she books it to become the pupil with Rosie as her anchor. Mayhapse an anchor-archivist polycule with Archivist Jon and Martin? Mayhapse Jon is just a normal eye avatar here and deeply invested in all of Sasha's eyepocalypse statements, so it's Sasha and her plus-three? Mayhapse it's a race across the eyepocalypse wasteland between Archivist Sasha and Archivist Jon to usurp Jonah and become the pupil?

Tim Stoker 2/10 dude's here for a good time, not a long time

The only way I see this working is if Elias disguises not-stranger clues as circus related so Tim is motivated to investigate. Otherwise, his archival assistants are way more curious than him and disobey his direct orders to 🍹chill🏝. Jon, Sasha, and Martin inadvertently bring marks home to him like cats bring home dead birds. He asserts his agency when he decides the best course of action? Actually? Just blow up the archives. This unfortunately puts him in a false sense of security, and Elias makes him read the watcher's crown statement by cat fishing him on grindr and sending the ritual as a dm mid conversation.

Daisy Tonner - 9/10 archivist, would have started doomsday before she was at the archivist job long enough to use her PTO

Daisy already had a lot of experience hunting down fear-entity-related people in sectioned cases, which means she possibly canonically already has all the marks from just hunting avatars who use their powers in self defense. The reason she lost one point is because she's too much of a jock to read, only nerds are culpable to watcher crown statements, so this would be the only delay but oh what a delay it will be.

Melanie King - 7/10 archivist, points awarded for achieving her breakthroughs by smashing her head against a wall until she literally breaks through, points deducted for doing so in full clown makeup.

If Jon got a handful of marks by just asking anoying questions in the same room as an avatar, imagine how much faster Melanie would get marks by bringing her trademark Chaotic Brat personality on fear entity investigations. The apocalypse would have started in like two seasons: one season to hire her off the streets and establish shakey, complex relationships with her new assistants (Jon and Sasha put in the time with the institute but were passed over on this promotion for some random YouTuber (plus they're tighter with Tim and Martin, so proletarian solidarity against the boss)).

Then a second season to stab every mark and get stabbed in return. Melanie would blitz through all 14 marks because what precious little impulse control she starts with is slowly replaced with slaughter juice. One fun moral ambiguity to explore could be if Melanie tries to use her new, dangerous Eye/Slaughter powers to revive her reputation and platform in the supernatural community now that she can, ya know, identify supernatural things for the first time ever. Does she acknowledge her entire career up to her hospital episode apparently only investigated fake sightings? A better question to ask is whether Basira, Tim, and Jon ever let her live down how Ghost Hunt UK's professional dignity was contingent on the legitimacy of her sCiEnTiFiC gHoSt eQuIpMeNt in those episodes, so the temperature spikes set to dramatic music were well and truly just temperature spikes and dramatic music. Sasha found a clip of that music playing as Melanie narrates "it's a message... from the other side..." and made it as her text tone.

Also, it would be hilarious if Melanie tried to kill Jonah on sight in the panopticon, once again botched assassination attempt number 1,963,538, and then Jon quietly snuck in to finish the job on his first try just like in canon.

Jon: "What, like it's hard?"

Basira Hussain 3/10 archivist, her eye alignment manifests as office gossip, like a normal person

Basira has the most formidable super power of all: the power to nope tf out of any conversation or plan she wants. She therefore would probably take 10x longer to start the apocalypse than any other archivist because her fatal flaw is refusal to directly engage with a lot of personally difficult things (like the slaughter bullet surgery she organized, Daisy In General, etc). The marks will be slow going if she resists putting her safety on the line or invests time in making good plans (which is smart, but unhelpful for dooming humanity). She would for sure still get marked and end the world because once she's convinced of a plan (aka Elias convinces her of a plan), she's ruthlessly efficient. So I'd stay out of her way that last year or two, she marks the entities right back at them.

Martin Blackwood 2/10 archivist, considering a prerequisite for creepy eye avatar staring is the ability to make eye contact.

S1 Archivist Martin would probably dote too much on the employees under him to be hugely susceptible to Elias' isolation-dependant manipulation. Any progress Martin inadvertently achieves toward the watcher's crown goal would have to be contingent on it helping his loved ones, which is perfect fuel for a "corrupted by good intentions" arc. This would be key because Martin has superb bullshit and manipulation detection, making the marks are tricky but not impossible to orchistrate considering Jon can't stay put in a safe corner for 10 minutes and Martin's mother would refuse to stay with him where she's safe from avatar threats.

Imagine the petty drama when Jon and Sasha learn he got the promotion they wanted because he lied on his CV.

Other than that, Martin would be even worse about pit stops on the apocalypse road trip than Jon because his Kill Bill mode would have no off switch. Does Archivist!Martin and his anchor Jon ever reach the panopticon? Eventually, but not until after they lose points for significantly reducing the apocalypse fear quantity. Would Annabelle survive to deliver her cryptic MaCHiNAtIoNs and achieve the Web's goal? Hard No, additional point reduction for neutralizing the multiverse invasion. Points potentially earned back if Martin's Web connection is strong enough to come up with the multiverse invasion plan on his own, though.

Georgie Barker 4/10, as a fearless coward, all the fear she feeds to the entities would be khaki flavored. They'd get their apocalypse, but they probably wouldn't enjoy the meal.

Similar to Basira, Georgie has the super power to Fuck This Shit I'm Out. She would overall be a subpar humanity damning archivist; a major archivist success factor of Jon's is that he has enough affective empathy to be afraid with every statement giver he reads, so when Jon archives a statement, he unintentionally contributes to the fear soup seasoning. Combined with how Georgie doesn't want anything to do with entity drama, so any corruption specific to the watcher's crown would stagnate. Even her casual exposition conversations would go like

Georgie: "I've connected no dots."

Melanie: "you've connected a lot of dots??"

Georgie: "I've connected shit all dots."

The reason she gets one more point than Basira is because Georgie's fatal flaw is the passive observer quality the Eye tried to stoke in Jon. Her level of engagement oscillates between two extremes, impulsive over commitment and judging from a distance. This would probably lead her to geting involved just long enough for her involvement to become irreversible, at which point she would try to cut that shit out of her life after it's trapped her. She'd linger, barricading herself on the margins of this problem as the marks that are targeted at her slowly tally up until boom. Apocalypse is on and she only half understands what's happening.

Georgie would wander around an apocalypse hellscape confused, but vibes and physical health fully intact. Anchor!Melanie would have quite the emotional journey starting with Georgie on that pedestal Melanie placed her, and ending with a slaughter avatar stabbing the person who convinced her to work on her slaughter inclination.

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[liliacvol6]

POV: You’re The Hot Ex~ Bucky Barnes

This was inspired by a playlist I put together and I was full of “I’m hot as fuck, my ex is crying” vibes so I decided to write a lil something. 

No happy ending, unless someone wants a part 2?? I’d be down to write it, also if this is shit let me know because I want to improve my writing. Love y’all. 

~~~~

“You sure you wanna go to Stark’s party tonight? Barnes and his new girl will be there.” Nat said, sitting on the bed next to Wanda. They both looked at each other, the break up was hard but what had been harder to deal with was when Bucky had a stream of females constantly coming in and out of the tower where you both lived. And then, one day, the sex parade stopped and only one of them continued to come and go. April, was her name. She thrived off of Bucky and his Avengers status, you hated her for obvious reasons and couldn’t understand why Bucky would want her. She seemed like a fine person, but your personal bias was too strong for you to ever be kind to her.

“It’s fine, I don’t need him to feel good about myself, who knows maybe I’ll hook up with Sam or Steve tonight to really rub it in that I’m over it.” You said opening your closet and trying to find a hot outfit. You couldn’t decide whether you actually wanted to seduce one of your friends to try and piss Bucky off or not, but you wanted to look sexy anyways. 

“Mhm, right. Well maybe you should wear red.” Wanda suggested, making you turn around 

“Why red?” You questioned, making Nat turn to Wanda as well, she shrugged and said, “Well I happen to know Bucky likes that color on you.” You rolled your eyes, but turned around and started looking for your favorite red dress. Not to impress Bucky of course, but to look sexy in a dress of his favorite color and have him die knowing he can’t take it off of you.

~~~~

You were standing in the hallway waiting for Wanda to finish getting ready, Nat had already gone down saying she was going to grab drinks for the three of you, while you waited for Wanda. Wanda came out in a gorgeous black dress, you whistled at her 

“Get out, you’re the one who looks absolutely sexy.” You winked at her, looping your arms together you waltzed to the elevator to head down to the party. 

~~

It took everything in you not to scan the room and look for Bucky, so instead you looked directly to the bar. Nat was behind it filling her own drinks, you guys made your way over to her and noticed Steve sitting there chatting. 

He turned when Nat yelled hello above the music. “Wow, you ladies look amazing.” He said handing glasses to you and Wanda. Nat’s expression faltered a little and you soon found out why when Bucky and April approached the bar and sat next to Steve. You didn’t even look at him, you just took a sip of your cocktail.

“Jesus Nat, this is strong” You exclaimed laughing a little.

“Oh my god, I love strong drinks, right James? When we went on our first date that was something we bonded over.” April said laughing. You could picture her hugging his arm and you wanted to roll your eyes. But you looked up at smiled at her, “that’s cute”. You made eye contact with Bucky and tried your best not to show any kind of emotion. The breakup had been incredibly difficult and your tried your best to not show how hurt you were whenever you were around Bucky. He said he couldn’t worry about hurting you physically so instead he just decided to dump you on a mission instead. 

Sam came over, already drunk, and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and gave you a kiss on the cheek. 

“D.A.M.N. (Y/N) you are the hot ex, for sure, Buck don’t even look over here you’ll just regret your decisions” He said, making you smile silently and Wanda slapping Sam. 

“Sam...” Steve started to say, but before he could lecture you turned to Sam.

“Thanks, I’d love it if you danced with me right now. Yanno, since I look so good, it would be a shame if I just sat around all night.” Sam nodded and you led him onto the dance floor.

In truth, your heart was ripped out of your chest every time you saw Bucky. Especially the times when it was in the hallway and he tried to smile at you, but you just couldn’t do it. You tried your best to dance with Sam but you weren’t feeling it. You had to try your hardest to get over Bucky, so you tried to let it go. Just forget the pain, let the alcohol flood through you and now your goal was to try and fuck Sam. Just to get over the man who broke your heart.

~~~~

It was the end of the night, you spent a lot of time dancing sexily with Sam, only spotting Bucky and April once during your dancing. Bucky had made eye contact with you, you winked at him. At that point you had been wasted, it wasn’t an act anymore you were wanting Sam more and more, he was right. You were hot and ready to move on. Well, that’s what the alcohol haze was telling you.

~~

Now you were sitting with Nat drinking water to make up for the mass amount of alcohol. 

“You and Sam are getting pretty friendly” She said taking a sip of her drink, you shrugged your shoulders.

“Yeah, well gotta move on eventually.” You stated as you looked up and scanned the room, she snorted

“Right, that’s why you keep scanning the room for your ex?” You immediately took your eyes off of the room and turned to her. “Oh, shit, neverm-” You interrupted her by spilling your inner thoughts out. You were with your best friend and couldn’t hold back your emotions. You had them locked up since the break up and they just came flooding out.

“I’m so fucking sad, I want Sam sure for a one night stand because I keep telling myself it’ll make me get over him. But I know it won’t. I love him, I never fucking told him I loved him. We fought the day we broke up and I was going to tell him and then I didn’t and now I want to get over him but I just don’t know if I can.” You spilled your feelings to Nat, something you normally would not do if you were sober. Nat wasn’t speaking, she had reached out while you were talking and grabbed your hands. In your drunken state you thought it had been a grab of endearment 

“Uh, hi” You heard a female voice, you turned thinking it was Wanda but it was April standing there, with a red face and Bucky behind her holding a plate of cookies. “We came to offer you cookies, Bucky said they were Natasha’s favorites.” She said grabbing the tray from Bucky and placing it on the table. Bucky was staring at the ground and you got up and faced April.

“I’m sorry, I’m drunk, I didn’t mean anything I said honest-” Before you could finish, April slapped you across the face. “What the fuck?” You yelled grabbing your face. Bucky grabbed April and pulled her away from you.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked her, Nat got up and came next to you.

“You broke his fucking heart and then have the audacity to say you love him? really? When he is finally happy and in love again? We exchanged I love you’s already. Clearly if you loved him you would have told him.” April spat at you from Bucky’s arm. He looked at you with a horrified expression, you gulped in air. You didn’t know what to say. They already said I love you to each other? You were heartbroken.

“We’re leaving.” She said, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the party. 

You got to the door and hit the elevator button when you started to cry. 

“Wait, (Y/N), Nat!” You turned and saw Bucky,

“Great, fucking great” you said looking up at the ceiling and trying to stop the tears.

“Please, can I walk you to your room?” He asked, you knew he was looking at you, but you had turned away and didn’t want him to see you cry.

“No, Buck, go back to April. Make sure she’s fine.” You said quietly. You got into the elevator and when the door was closing you finally looked up at him. He had silent tears in his eyes.

“(Y/N) please, I love you too” He pleaded, the elevator door closed and you turned into Nat and cried hysterically on her shoulder. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 has been posted: https://liliacvol6.tumblr.com/post/653548607607275520/pov-youre-the-hot-ex-part-2 

Love you all xoxo

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Two of Three

Part 1

Part 3

6. Sexual Awakenings part 1: Love, Obsession, & Size Differences

[Insert that post talking about the creators making sure that Daniel’s antagonists were much bigger than him so that the audience would sympathise, spawning 10000 size kink fics]

I’m sure this won’t awaken anything in Daniel

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures

The hallmark of feminine fairytales tends to be growing into womanhood, with all those symbolic sexual under/overtones, searching for a prince, encountering monsters (or evil stepmothers), on the surface tending to be quite passive/reactive, but actually being about young girls and women getting out of their environment and choosing to tussle with those deep, dark desires – monsters. They’ve got to function within the limitations of power that they have – escaping an abusive situation through marriage, chasing forbidden desires under the guise of duress, asking questions about sexuality through things like symbolic plucking (flowers) or consumption (fruit) or pricking (needles), etc.

Daniel isn’t striking out to find his fortune or win a girl or a kingdom Like A Man, he’s not a threat to Silver, who – like Jareth in Labyrinth – is in control for almost the whole of the narrative, he’s not actually able to do much more than react until he makes the decision to stop training, and even then he’s immediately ganged up on and assaulted, needing to be saved by Miyagi while he stands and watches, bloodied and bruised. 

Daniel’s journey in the third movie is to be forced into an impossible situation, seduced by Silver, and then prove that whatever violence Silver did to him isn’t enough to destroy him. It is incredibly similar to Sarah’s in Labyrinth, who by the end declares: “you have no power over me,” and that’s her winning moment. Not strength, not wits, not a direct fight, (although Daniel does fight Barnes and gets beat up again – only winning in in the end by taking him by surprise, unlike in TKK1 or TKK2 where you could argue that he proves himself to be a capable physical opponent to Johnny and Chozen), but by declaring that whatever power was held over her is now void.

Daniel’s narrative isn’t satisfying in the same way, because the dynamic of Silver and Daniel only accidentally emulates this - it’s not an intention on the side of the film-makers.

When Miyagi tells Daniel that he has strong roots, when he tells him not to lose to fear and Daniel wins over Barnes (in an almost fairytale-esque set of events), on paper he’s defeated whatever hold Terry Silver has over him. In the film itself though, Daniel never defeats Silver (which will likely be confirmed once he returns in Season Four). Daniel cannot simply say “you have no power over me,” and see Silver shattered into glass shards. 

The film is a contradiction: It wants to be a masculine sports film, but it exists in the same realm as Goblin Kings seducing young girls with the promise of: “Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.” Unlike Sarah, Daniel doesn’t claim the power that’s been promised to him on his own terms. His subtextually sexual awakening is so corrupted that all he can do is pretend it never happened.

Still, Daniel proves in the film that his strength is not in his fists. It’s in his praying to the bonsai tree that’s healed despite a violent boy brutally tearing it in two.

These looks on Daniel and Silver though?

So why does Silver become obsessed with him? What’s up with all those red outfits (that he doesn’t wear in Cobra Kai)? What does the temptation reveal about Daniel? How does it recontextualise TKK1 and TKK2? Is Daniel bisexual? (yes).

Ah, beach-Daniel, in your red hoodie and your cut-off jorts. Iconic hot-girl summer vibes. 

If you didn’t want me over-analysing this, you shouldn’t have put him in so many red outfits and then have this man leering at him like he wants to eat him alive.

Surface-level it’s not hard to read into a Dude Story: Masculine power fantasies are about strength in a very direct way. Fighting, control, suaveness – and if you’re not the most traditionally masculine of guys, asserting dominance through being a good lover or intelligent or overcoming that unmanliness in some way through beating the bully or convincing the hot girl to go out with you, levelling up in coolness. Being A Man. It’s not too dissimilar from Daniel’s arc in the first movie, if you watch it without taking later events into account, although Daniel is never interested in proving himself as a man, and more in making Miyagi proud. Still, he does win and gain respect, and arguably “get the girl,” although Ali’s interest in him was never dependent on the fight.

7. Sexual Awakenings Part 2: Sexual Assault, Liberation, and Queerness

Feminine power fantasies are often about sex. Metaphorically. More accurately it’s “owning sexuality.” Even more accurately: “Freedom.” They also inhabit a fluid space in which empowerment through monstrous desires and non-consent can happen at the same time. And on top of that, many of these “fantasies” are actually being written by men, so whose fantasy is it really? A lot of them are based in oral traditions so presumably they were originally from the mouths of women, even if modern iterations (starting with Grimm’s collections) are filtered through cis men’s perspectives.

All of that being acknowledged: In Angela Carter’s “The Company Of Wolves,” Red Riding Hood unambiguously sleeps with the wolf. Belle discovers her freedom from expectations and unsuitable suitors (and in some versions, evil stepsisters) by falling in love with a Beast (the original novel was written by a woman, the 18th century Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve). Jareth informs Sarah of his obsessive devotion to her in Labyrinth. To lean into horror for a moment – Buffy is stalked and eventually has relationships with both Angel and Spike, Lucy in Coppola’s Dracula (which I have mixed feelings about) is raped by the werewolf and Mina is stalked by Dracula, The Creature Of The Black Lagoon kidnaps Kay (the lead’s girlfriend) – subverted in both The Shape Of Water in which Eliza forms a consensual relationship with the amphibious sea-god and in the short-lived horror series Swamp Thing, in which the connection is purposefully framed as seductive…

and in The Karate Kid Part Three Daniel LaRusso punches a board until his hands bleed because an attractive, older man tells him to and in this moment he gives in to what he (thinks he) wants.

Not all of those examples are equal. Some are consensual, some are hinted as abusive and/or stalkery, all of them have large age gaps, and a few are outright non-consensual.

But they’re all fantasies.

They’re all power-fantasies.

Except for Daniel, because he’s a man and the idea that being obsessed (lusted) over by an older man who keeps you in his thrall, specifically because you tickle his fancy for whatever reason, because you’re beautiful, breakable, different – could in any way be considered empowering is a difficult concept to wrap your head around. It doesn’t contain that “but I’m a good girl, I’d never go off the path and pluck flowers if a bad wolf told me to, honest,” societal context or the social context of rape culture. It’s closest comparison is closeted (perhaps even unknown until that point) queer identity.

There have recently been some comparisons of Daniel LaRusso to Bruce Bechdel in Funhome (and everyone who says that Ralph Macchio ought to play him in the upcoming movie: you’re right and I’m just not going to enjoy it as much without him). I’ve written a post about Sam being the heir to his legacy and trauma, specifically as a queercoded man. It’s not dissimilar to the plot of Funhome in a lot of ways.

The other interesting source that’s been going around in connection with Daniel is the essay “The Rape of James Bond,” which discusses the use of sexual assault as a plot device for women and not for men: “About one in every 33 men [in the US] is raped. … [your statistically average, real life man] … doesn’t have a horde of enemies explicitly dedicated to destroying him. He doesn’t routinely get abducted, and tied up. Facing a megalomaniac psychopath gloating over causing him pain […] is not the average man’s average day at the office.” That last bit is just a descriptor of Terry Silver, (although I take issue at the blasé use of psychopath).

The two part youtube essay  Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs posits that there is nothing more de-masculinising than the threat of sexual assault and therefore any narrative that features this “rightfully” must mock any man who has been a victim or who fears being a victim of sexual assault. It is feminising. There is nothing more humiliating – and therefore unheroic – than a man dealing with sexual assault.

So what do we feel when we see an attractive young man being put into a vulnerable position by an older man? A trope associated with female characters, a trope that is considered unpalatable for men (see reactions that happened when the hint of sexual assault was introduced in Skyfall).

Was it the fact that he was being threatened, or the fact that James’ next line is: “what makes you think this is my first time?”

Some thoughts added by @mimsyaf​ are around the idea of safety in how a lot of cis women might relate to this narrative through Daniel’s eyes. He’s not a woman, he has – societally – more power than a girl or woman would have, which makes this a different watch to, say, if Danielle were to go through the same narrative. Daniel doesn’t carry that baggage of rape culture, or of the male gaze that you might find in a similar scenario of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Christine in Phantom of the Opera (and once more the age differences between these characters and the men who love/lust over them are substantial), which makes the narrative “safer” to engage with.

I agree with that, although as a transmasc person I also come at it differently. I specifically like to headcanon Daniel as a trans guy and find his fraught interactions with masculinity through his own non-toxic lens relatable, as well as the way other boys and men react to it – also I think Terry Silver is hot. I know there are people who write Terry Silver with female OCs, which is also a form of empowerment.

On the flipside putting Daniel in this space runs a risk of fetishising him as a queer youth who is either Innocent and Pure, or a bisexual stereotype that deserves to be assaulted for not being a real man. After all, Real Straight Men don’t run the risk of sexual assault.

 Alas, the road to empowerment never did run smooth. 

The comparisons between the way Daniel is treated by the text and how female characters are often treated in texts are undoubtedly there. Through Ralph Macchio and TIG’s casting and the direction and acting, but also within the text itself. 

It might not be with the same purpose as Neo’s symbolically trans journey, but it puts the whole narrative that Daniel’s going through from TKK1 under a different light than if there had only been one movie that ended on a triumphant sports win and a girlfriend.

Johnny’s masculinity and the use of tears as liberation, now that’s a whole other analysis….

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[thewhovianperson]

Part four to the "Pairing each companion to each doctor" is a little late but I've had uni stuff sorry!

Anygays, without further ado, let's get on with it, as this week it's the lad himself, Steven!

1: We know how this goes - they occasionally get on each other's wrong sides, but are there for one another. Steven really pulls the heroic side out of One though, and honestly I love their pairing so much.

2: We've all seen the "come now doctor, you must see reason" "No" gif right? Only instead of this being the Delgado!Master and Three, it's Steven and Two. Watching this would be like experiencing Calvin and Hobbes, but no one knows which is Calvin and which is Hobbes.

3: James Bond and Q's teenage child goes on adventures with a far future fighter pilot. This can only end well. Steven would also 100% fancy Benton.

4: If watching Steven and Two is like experiencing Calvin and Hobbes but you don't know who is who, Steven and Four is like experiencing Calvin and Hobbes, but now Four is both Calvin AND Hobbes, and Steven is Suisie Derkins. Four's antics would probably annoy Steven some of the time, and the other half of the time they would be best mates.

5: Every time I see Steven I go "hmm is this fresh fruit I smell?". While he is a little older than Nyssa or Tegan to my knowledge, he is also in need of a found family, and is gay. He'd fit in well here.

6: As soon as Six had their manic "choke Peri episode" in The Twin Dilemma, Steven would have got this MF some help. Which would have ended in a much more pleasant Series 22 TARDIS Team experience. He would have also punched Sil.

7: Steven would NOT be here for Seven's Machiavellian antics. The guy had enough of One's BS, Seven would be a few thousand steps too far.

8: I can't find a reason to say that they'd be bad?? But I can't find a reason to say that they'd be a good pairing either?? I'm just gonna say they'd be cool and vibe together because both are very fruity.

War: Steven is a soldier by profession, and the War Doctor is, well... The War Doctor. I can see this working out well, and Steven would 100% help The Doctor in The Last Great Time War, and be with him every step of the way. They might have a falling out over the use of The Moment though...

9: Traumatised veteran meets current soldier. I'm sure this is the plot of several bestselling books that I haven't read, but I assume they're all rather heartfelt and end in the traumatised veteran finding some level of peace. This would work well. Also Steven and Jack. Nuff said about that.

10: Steven would call Ten out on the arrogance, and keep him fun and fresh. This would be an emotionally healthy TARDIS Team.

11: If Steven with Two and/or Four is Calvin and Hobbes, this is the Marx Brothers, and Steven is Zeppo. Him and Clara would absolutely get on like a house on fire.

12: Twelve is all the cool elements of One dialed up, particularly in his University phase. Twelve and Steven would SLAP.

13: Two queer and anxious people vibing in a Police Telephone Box? Sounds a little too realistic for my liking, but the chemistry would be top notch.

Ruth: Oh damn this would be badass. Steven has very firm morals, and would 100% curb the excesses of Ruth, and once again we would have an emotionally healthy TARDIS Team. I'd watch a billion series of this.

[hey-a-wild-jojo-simp]

Okay, college professor headcanons for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures

Included characters: Dio (Part three, not vampire, fairly out of character, so sorry about that), Jonathan, Avdol, Joseph, Caesar, Polnareff with a little bit of Iggy, Kakyoin, Jotaro, and a bonus of Okuyasu, Josuke, and Koichi teaching a self-defense class to their peers (Not college profs)

Dio

He is part three in this btw, and he isn’t a vampire, I was thinking about the whole night class thing and deadass forgot he was a vampire

He teaches a night class

He teaches a criminal forensics class

No matter how many students he has at any given time, he knows them all by first and last name

He absolutely allows cussing in his class and takes full advantage of this rule

He will without a doubt notice attitude shifts in his students and will be fairly straightforward about it in his office after asking them to stay for a while after class or after they’re done with classes for the day to talk to them about it

He’s the cool professor

He only refers to students by their last name if he’s mad at them

He has his students skip titles and just call him Dio

He has helped students remove smell from their cars after someone left food in it and they didn’t know and it ended up rotting, or if they had stoner friends they had to pick up

It doesn’t matter if they aren’t in his class he’ll help them

He takes time out of his night/morning to help his students

He shows up about 5 or so hours before school starts and allows students who live in noisy ares to come in to sleep, he sets up pillows and everything

It doesn’t matter if he isn’t their first class he still lets them come in

Basically as far from canon Dio as you can get, just with appearance and accent, along with a few tendencies to snap at his students

He brings in meals on exam days because he knows students skip meals

Jonathan

You’ll literally never get lighter homework in any other class (Besides maybe Joseph)

He doesn’t allow cussing, he won’t report you for it. but will scold you, which normally gets anyone to stop, because no one wants to upset this man, he’s too nice to his students

He will report his students for any form of slurs, and that is the only time he will get angry unless one student is actively attacking another verbally or physically

He has stepped in front of a student in the parking lot who was being mugged and just knocked the mugger on their ass

Constantly jokingly butting heads with the criminal forensics teacher, sometimes gets heated between the two

They’re step siblings

Very few students know this

He’s a ELA (English language arts) teacher

MASSIVE golden retriever vibes, super energetic, loves his students, is the kind of man who would take one of his student’s secrets to the grave (As long as it wasn’t something like self harm or being a victim of a crime)

An absolute lumbering machine of a man, he seems imposing at first, until he breaks out into a smile and laying down the few ground rules, telling his students to feel free to talk to him about anything bugging them

Much like his brother, he brings in meals on exam days

He will fall, no if about it, it’s an inevitable thing, all of his students will see it at some point

The room normally erupts into chaos of running around and picking up his papers and freaking out about whether or not he’s okay until he looks up and is just an absolute blushing mess and he’s laughing

After the first time people still help pick up papers but it isn’t as chaotic

This man is so understanding about late work

He encouraged an enby (Born female) to get their hair cut to a mullet and made a 360 video for them to show to their barber

Absolutely would understand anything his students were going through or would at least try his best

He will hug his students if they’re having a rough time  

Can be counted on to extend due dates unreasonable amounts for large projects

Avdol

Stickler about late work

He does love his students, but for every 3 school days something is late, a point gets marked off

Unless you have good reason

Is a recreational class on astrology and other forms of psychic readings (I have no doubt that’s a class, my sister almost took a class on the history of James Bond)

He also brings in tea for his students daily

Will talk to his students if he sees them in public

Widely loved by students

Amazingly attuned with his students

Not many other details that stand out about him

Joseph

He’s that one guy that no one is really sure what he teaches

The presentations from student projects end up being the kinds that end up being iconic(?) images like the “How I lost my virginity to a mint cookie” thing, because no one knows what the presentations are supposed to be on

It’s harder to fail than it is to pass, seeing as if you forget to turn something in you have to remind him to mark it as missing, otherwise it just sits as not turned in, not as late, so it won’t affect your grade

He shows a lot of movies in class

Brought in a gaming system once and held a tourney amongst the students in all of his classes

There isn’t a single student who doesn’t like him

Caesar 

Cooking class

Lets his students eat what they cook after the taste test for grading

Is often brought flowers by his students after they inevitably find out his love for the colorful displays

Let’s be quite honest, we know Joseph is the one that exposes this

The two of them have a running joke of bringing each other jokingly “romantic” gifts as a show of their friendship

He was at first quite uncomfortable with the students bringing him flowers as it is generally quite a, romantic I could say, gesture (Funny lil’ side note, I was a weird child, apparently I thought as like, a 4 yr old I would have multiple husbands, and this guy that’s like, 7 or so years older than me was one of them, apparently planned to be the last???? I dunno lmao, but he brought me flowers because it’s now a running joke and we’re now sorta friends, anyways, he brought me flowers when I was 9, at least I think I was 9, but his girlfriend got mad???? Like hun, I'm not going to steal your man) until he started getting notes in them (Will post those in a later post)

He blushes very heavily upon receiving the flowers, any blush at all is extremely prevalent and he gets flustered and very happy upon receiving the flowers, his students have likened him to a blushing schoolboy

Has a fondness for paintings of nature, which have also been brought in as gifts by students, and they all get hung on his wall, which is always a great surprise to the students that paint them.

Polnareff

He teaches French

He brings in pastries

Very comedic

I don’t really know what else besides he's just a friend more so than a teacher to all of his students

He definitely brings in Iggy frequently, though he makes sure to keep the coffee gum accessible to himself, but not where Iggy could easily get to it

All of his students love Iggy

Iggy will curl up in students’ laps if he likes them enough

Kakyoin

He teaches a history of gaming

Tournies in his class

He’s a bruh dud, just a friend more so than he is a teacher

Doesn’t give two fucks about late work policy cause there is rarely ever any late work from his students

I dunno, his students bring him a bunch of cherry stuff lol, a mini bean bag that looks like a cherry, cherry pastries, cherries grown by the students, maraschino cherries, even a hat that looked like a cherry

Jotaro (Part 4 Jotaro)

Marine biology, duh

An absolute hardass

Half points for late work unless you have a damn good excuse

A student brought him a dolphin stuffed animal once, and Star Platinum broke out in happy tears (No stand using students) while Jotaro kept his composure, although he did crack a smile

Deadass takes students on aquarium trips I shit you not

Secretly loves all of his students

Most of his students love him

Bonus

Okuyasu, Josuke, Koichi, all canon age of part 4, not college profs

Self-defense classes

Open to any gender

Very kind but firm

Okuyasu either makes people laugh or cry or confused

Koichi normally comforts the people who end up crying

Josuke heals everyone up after sparring matches and is also a sparring partner to many

Tomoko may pop in every so often for some harassment tips to the participants  

[chalkflint]

hi everyone! since i’m active again on here after a period of hiatus, and because i feel like my last writeblr intro set up expectations of like, regular polished content, that i totally failed to follow up on, i’m making a new intro to kickstart this blog’s following again and provide a more realistic idea of what i’ve got going on here. also, because i have so few active writeblr mutuals at this point. bullet point time!

i’m rosemary

they/them, lesbian, white, 24 years old

i love to write epic fantasy stories with a gay romance at the center, tons of loaded backstory, and some form of revolution

i love to draw and i also love to draw my ocs and make cool-looking character designs! be on the lookout for wip-related art posts on this blog! here’s my art tag

i spent years watching anime instead of reading books (😔) so my writing and art is very influenced by anime. now i watch anime AND read books

i’m really good at characters! i love coming up with interesting engaging characters! conversely i suck at plot but all my stories require lots of plot so every day i toil and struggle

i write VERY VERY SLOWLY and will probably not finish my wips for another 10 years

about my wips!!!!

lightning on the skin

what i post about on here 90% of the time. my main beloved project, occupies most of my writingbrain thoughts

adult, fantasy + romance (m/m)

a stoic, aloof ex-assassin and a friendly, idealistic nobleman (both pictured above) who are secretly both very lonely wind up on an adventure together after the former saves the latter’s life... and end up stumbling upon far more than they bargained for

class themes! corrupt nobility! rich families getting into petty politics against each other! uncovering secret conspiracies! tender slowburn romance! eventual revolution! it’s got it all!

planned trilogy. this shit is going to be long as fuck. Help

revenant

what i post about on here the remaining 10% of the time

adult, fantasy + romance (currently m/m but may change to f/f later??? idk??? it exists in limbo tbh)

overwrought gothic aesthetics and melodrama straight out of a teenager’s first wattpad story or clamp manga (but on purpose)

tfw you’re a vampire and you once fell in love with a hot werewolf who wants to burn down your workplace but your workplace said no so you killed them and now they’ve been resurrected and want to finish what they started which threatens your whole career you’ve worked so hard for but they’re still hot god damn it

started out as m/m. i have been stuck for months on whether to change it to f/f or not. help

untitled wip

you know the drill by now. fantasy, f/f

one’s an assassin bent on killing the queen. one’s a royal guard bent on protecting the queen. watch sparks fly!

i’ve only started developing this wip recently so there’s not much info available yet but i’m very excited about it

toxic lesbian love triangles (with healthy non-toxic endings don’t worry)

revolutionary girl utena vibes. the handmaiden vibes. let’s gooooo

other backburner stuff that i never post about or work on but lives in my mind

f/f series following two immortals who are magically bound to each watch over a particular family throughout the generations. different installations follow different generations of the families getting into adventures while their guardians have complicated sexual tension

f/f story about a hardened badass secret agent like james bond and the cheerful plucky intrepid reporter she gets assigned to work with, much to her displeasure. then, of course, they fall in love

ok just some disclaimers about how i run this blog so you know what you’re getting into

i often stop posting for months on end (aside from occasional ramblings about tropes and thoughts on writing in general). this is because my adhd means i can only focus on writing stuff when my brain isn’t taken up by a fandom obsession. so expect inconsistency

i’m bad at writeblr in general - posting excerpts, posting edits, tag games, wip intro posts, etc…. i’m not good at it. i just babble and say stream of consciousness shit on here

bad at remembering to follow back. bad at remembering to interact with other writers’ stuff even though i want to

on the plus side i post art! and i might soon be opening commissions so i can draw your oc if you want! yayyy

i also write fanfiction if anyone wants to check that out

ok idk how to finish this post if you read all that and want to follow me then you should do so!!! also i will try to check out the blogs of people who reblog this but if a lot of people reblog then i probably won’t get to everyone!! tagging some people @goose-books @yvesdot @welcometowriteblr ok i’m too shy for anyone else