#fun fact i had brand new key on repeat while making this

[thelegendarypusheen-art]

transgender blues

[gold-rhine]

(can answer privately if u want)

how did you manage to write enjou stirring shit up. i need to know for Reasons

(Reasons being: i wanna write him doing that as well so i need to know how you figured that specific brand of Manipulation out)

oh, i love talking about Enjou, he's so fun to write.

Okay, Enjou's main rule is that he doesn't *technically* lie. If you've ever written fae with no-lie rules it should be similar. Everything he says should be true, even if he's seemingly joking - like when he tells traveler you never know what can happen in magic rituals, I could turn into a flame-throwing monster haha! He only lies by omission or by using leading questions. He often answers direct questions with his own questions, which lets him evade, or by what he makes look like a joke.

Like in Enka when traveler arrived and asked him who he is, he asked question in return, like Didn't they tell you there's gonna be a priest who will guide you? Traveler went yeah, they did. Enjou was like Great! You can't be expected to learn new language haha! i'm here to help translate.

He didn't say "I'm the priest who Kokomi said will help you," he asked a leading question to make traveler think about the priest with connection traveler trusted, then he didn't directly confirm he IS the priest and instead re-directed to his function "I'll help to translate", which is true!

Enjou's second rule is that he's a little shit and also a corny nerd. Like there's often a boring stereotype of manipulators being cool and sleek and charismatic, but Enjou is not that. He's a jokerified librarian. He consciously acts lame and corny to make the other person underestimate him and roll their eyes. He loves repeating how he's just a weak bookworm. He will go on info-dumping tangents to bury the lead of manipulation.

He also loves playing with his food, burying little inside jokes which only make sense in hindsight, like "I could turn into a flame-throwing monster". He likes doing the weak nerd routine, he enjoys watching the other person feel superior to him, while knowing he's in control of a situation, and he says corny shit on purpose to make it more pronounced. He should sound corny and just a bit unhinged. He says shit like "Exactomundo". I had to physically restrain myself, bc Enjou absolutely would say Exactomundo while watching a man's world crumbling before him, but I didn't want to ruin the tone for the reader.

So, to write Enjou's brand of manipulation you need to first formulate his end-goal, like what is the purpose of this manipulation? I assume you read my fic since you reference me writing enjou stirring shit up, so i'll use it as example of my thought process. One of the examples in my fic, he wants to convince rizzley that Neuvi gave him the title to buy his loyalty. What are the true facts here? Neuvi did fight hard to give rizzley the title, he says it in his own voice lines. What do we need to add? Malicious intent.

Enjou can't say "Your title was a bribe", bc that's a lie. Instead, he starts with "you know what I would do if *I* was the Hydro Sovereign with an ability to take human form? <...>I’d make sure I have people loyal to me in some key positions. Such as Royal Duelist… and the Warden of the Fortress.” It's not a lie, bc if Enjou was a sovereign, he'd probably really do that. On paper, he's talking about himself, but in context of overall conversation it will be obviously extrapolated to Neuvi. This is a form of switching the goal posts from Enjou to Neuvi without outright saying so.

Then, he says true facts:

“He didn’t make me the Warden,” Wriothesley gritted out. 

“No, but he did make you the Duke, didn’t he?” Enjou smirked with a wink. “Our sources say the Court was not thrilled to give the highest noble title to you. And if the Iudex did not throw his own weight behind it, it would have never come to pass. How generous of him.”

It's true, it was actually generous, he doesn't lie. But in context of previous implied accusation, it will be read as sarcastic, as saying it was done with selfish reasons.

And then he reinforces with “Ah, you’re starting to get it, don’t you?”, which is a leading question that again, doesn't say anything false outright.

he should also offer the person hes manipulating to beat him up repeatedly, bc hes a freak.

[brightstarkid]

StarKid lyrics that are extremely relevant right now (Part 3)

U.S. Election Edition

*Yes, some of these are repeats from Part 1 and/or Part 2, but they are now relevant in a new situation, so they are worth repeating. 

“But despite all of my struggles, I’m still alive” (“Goin’ Back to Hogwarts,” AVPM)

“Let’s reevaluate our options, throw away our old presumptions, ‘cause really, you don’t have to go through this” (“The Dragon Song,” AVPM)

“Here I am, face to face, with a situation I never thought I’d see, strange” (“Granger Danger,” AVPM)

“And oh, how the feeling grows” (“To Dance Again,” AVPM)

“Now, at once, a chance appears” (“To Dance Again,” AVPM)

“To give me strength, show concern, ask for nothing in return, say hello, talk me through, do the thing that presidents fathers should do” (“Missing You,” AVPM)

“I’ve seen how heartless the world can be” (“Not Alone,” AVPM)

“And nothing’s ever gonna bring us down” (“Not Alone,” AVPM)

“Well now it’s our turn, our turn” (Voldemort is Goin’ Down,” AVPM)

“We must unite so we can fight, turn the battle around! Time’s running out, it’s time to shout” (“Voldemort is Goin’ Down,” (AVPM)

“We won’t be pushed around any more, we’ll be a force you cannot ignore” (Voldemort is Goin’ Down,” AVPM)

“We’ll stick together, fight through thick and thin. If we stay side by side, there’s no way we can’t win” (“Me and My Dick,” MAMD)

“It’s time to start over” (“Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“So get that chip off my shoulder! ‘Cause it’s weighing me down and keeping me right here” (“Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“It’s not too late to turn around and find a better way. It’s not up to fate to lay the groundwork for a better day” (Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“While’s… we’s… waits to be delivered, go ahead, cry me a river” (“Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“Lord have mercy are we ready to go!” (“Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“We’re finally ready, and the time is right for us to light a spark. We’re keeping it steady, with our eyes on the prize to get us through the dark” (“Ready to Go,” MAMD)

“The world would be much better if you listened, a little bit, to me” (“Listen to Your Heart,” MAMD)

“Feel like the sun is shining, like every song is rhyming, everything is right on time in perfect key” (“Finale,” MAMD)

“So look alive and don’t forget that it’s not over yet” (“Not Over Yet,” AVPS)

“I’m laughing, it’s hard to hide a smile, my God it’s been a while since I have had a reason to” (“To Have a Home,” AVPS)

“And so many nights I’d pray for a better life and a better day, but I never thought that it’d come true, it’s finally here and I don’t know what to do” (“To Have a Home,” AVPS)

“And I’m trying not to cry” (“To Have a Home,” AVPS)

“My heart starts to heal, to know this is real” (“To Have a Home,” AVPS)

“Just try to relax, face the facts” (“Gettin’ Along,” AVPS)

“My mind is racing, but my heart, it beats faster. I’m in control, commander and master. Lady fate awaiting disaster, but she ain’t the boss of me” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“Let’s not forget that we hold the cards this time, so there’s no need to bitch or whine” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“There’s no way I’m gonna take another option, no way I’m gonna settle with a loss, no way I’m gonna sit around and watch, there’s no, no way” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“There’s no way you’re gonna find me in the background, no damn way you’re gonna see me satisfied, no way they’re ever gonna make me back down, no, no way” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“We’ll take it on together, we’re stronger and we’re better, and if there’s a problem HA! whatever” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“There’s no way we’re gonna leave it up to chance, there’s no damn way we’re gonna go without a fight. No way you gonna see us on our ass there’s no, no way.” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“There’s no way we’re gonna settle with sorrow, leave right now if you think this ain’t real” (“No Way,” AVPS)

“Don’t matter if it’s sooner or later, I know that it’s gonna be alright” (“Days of Summer,” AVPS)

“So I will try not to cry, but no one needs to say goodbye” (“Days of Summer,” AVPS)

“The future is now, so I don’t see how the time isn’t right for me” (“I Wanna Be,” Starship)

“We don’t hide and we don’t run away” (“Get Back Up,” Starship) 

“I know you see the rough times, hell, I see them too, but I ain’t seen anyone face ‘em half as well as you” (“Get Back Up”, Starship)

“We’re here to get the job done, it doesn’t matter if it’s tough or it’s fun” (“Get Back Up,” Starship)

“You can’t sit around and watch, your destiny is in your control” (“Kick It Up a Notch,” Starship)

“Who cares about normal? I’ll never conform, I will be content to resent the status quo” (“Status Quo,” Starship)

“I kick down the walls around me, they don’t know how strong I am” (“Status Quo,” Starship)

“Now there’s nothing, no there’s nothing he can’t do” (“Holy Musical B@man,” HMB)

“Take a mental snapshot of this most auspicious night” (“Rogues Are We (Reprise),” HMB)

“We gotta go meet our destiny” (“This Is The End,” AVPSY)

“I feel unstoppable, I’m super-charged, it’s contagious that’s for sure” (“Senior Year,” AVPSY)

“But I’m here to give you a brand new start and to make your spirit brighter” (“Always Dance,” AVPSY)

“The more your try to climb, the more you’re slipping down the hill” (“Tonight This School is Mine,” AVPSY)

“I’m ready for a change, gonna keep calm and carry on” (“I’m Just a Sidekick,” AVPSY)

“But you shouldn’t give up, no, you shouldn’t do that. Never ever give up, no, don’t ever do that” (“Everything Ends,” AVPSY)

“The clock looks still, still the hours pass and all that time is never comin’ back” (“Everything Ends,” AVPSY)

“After the sun has had its rest it will arise and light up the sky” (“Everything Ends,” AVPSY)

“So science and reason win out in the end” (“If I Believed,” Twisted)

“The road ahead may twist, but I will never swerve” (“Twisted,” Twisted)

“This is the beginning, I’m coming back to life. It feels like something’s coming, and it’s gonna be alright” (“With My Own Eyes,” Ani)

“We’ve barely begun, yeah we’re just getting started, you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you, yes you do” (“The Force (You Got It),” Ani)

“It ain’t gonna be fun, just keep your eyes on the target. If anyone can do it, baby, it’s you, yes” (“The Force (You Got It),” Ani)

“Feels like you are going to fail, but don’t give up too soon” (“Independence,” TTTO)

“It’s the grind, take it one day at a time” (“The Grind,” TTTO)

“When the world’s at stake there are lives to save, and even though I shake my hands at god I pray” (“When the World’s at Stake,” TTTO)

“And life, as you know it, is changing” (“Wagon on Fire,” TTTO)

“I guess it’s been days or weeks or months or something worse” (“Lost Without You,” TTTO)

“Nothing can stop us now, oh, nothing can take us down” (“Speedrun,” TTTO)

“Who knew that all this time we had what we need?” (“Speedrun,” TTTO)

“You gotta go when you gotta go, it’s time to get the hell out of here” (“You Gotta Go,” TTTO)

“We’ve got to figure it out, we’ve got to find ourselves some answers” (“We Are People Now,” Firebringer)

“I hope you’re feeling power working through the shroud of mystery, and our history’s growing every day” (“We Got Work To Do,” Firebringer)

“This world is what we make of it, together” (“We Got Work To Do,” Firebringer)

“It’s our turn now, he is gone, our time is here” (“The Night Belongs To Us,” Firebringer)

“We’ll take on whatever’s next” (“The Night Belongs to Us,” Firebringer)

“It’s time to face what’s given us such fear” (“Together,” Firebringer)

“You couldn’t stop us even if you tried” (“Together,” Firebringer)

“We got a lot to do to make it work, we got a lot to do to work it out” (“Finale/Make The Most of It,” Firebringer)

“Do the best that we can here, we got to do a lot of work to make it” (“Finale/Make The Most of It,” Firebringer)

“If we’re gonna stay, we gotta find a way to maintain the balance set in place” (“Finale/Make The Most Of It,” Firebringer)

“Just a typical day that’s got me feeling in a beautiful way, no rhyme or reason” (“La Dee Dah Dah Day,” TGWDLM)

“Sometimes I just wanna shout on top of roofs and mountain tops” (“La Dee Dah Dah Day,” TGWDLM)

“Even now, it’s a dream, the kind that makes you question reality” (“What Tim Wants,” BF)

“You’ll get what you want, you’ll get it back” (“What Tim Wants,” BF)

“It’s time to flip the switch when the problem’s chronic, not being hyperbolic” (“CaliforM.I.A.,” BF)

“Sometimes you gotta slow your breath” (“Monsters and Men,” BF)

“And make a solemn vow to become your best self now” (“Monsters and Men,” BF)

“Tomorrow will come, tomorrow won’t come, tomorrow come today” (“What If Tomorrow Comes?,” BF)

“It’s a matter of time, a matter of time, don’t need to look far to find it” (“Nightmare Time Theme,” NT)

“Watch out cuz the world might surprise you again and again and again” (“With a Thousand Eyes,” NT)

“You’ve got to move, you’ve got to live, you’ve got to keep it positive” (“With a Thousand Eyes,” NT)

[katsukikitten]

The fact your ask box says "love" makes me swoon over (◍•ᴗ•◍) Could I have yandere!Shinsou Hitoshi with a darling who forgets that he needs a lot of attention sometimes? Maybe she's in the support course and is worse than Mei and works 24/7?? Love the shigaraki x yandere reader and the content you post(人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

Oh thank you so much bb!! I'm glad you enjoy my content. That shigi post was actually my very first yandere piece! Have a nice background of your papi that I made! Um also it implies a little bit of smut please forgive me.

Cool cat eyes rove over your form as icy rage stirs in a normally empty chest. The gaze goes wholly unnoticed by you as you work day in and day out in the cramped, too hot lab with a much too friendly male partner.

He grits his teeth, nails biting into his palms as you yet again stand him up for what is normally your meeting time. 9pm.

Sharp.

Or there would be consequences, heavy consequences.

He tried to be understanding of your need to work long hours on your project for the upcoming university festival but to miss an appointment for the sixth week in a row, on top of working through your lunch break was entirely unacceptable.

He knew that you wouldn't know what was best for your health as he watches your tank top rise up much too high for his liking as you teetered on the top rung of the ladder. Rage blooming in his chest but never his features as he watches through the large window.

Eyes glued to the white lollipop stick that hangs from your mouth, tongue moving the sweetened candy from one side to the other. He does not need to be in the room to hear the sound of the hardened sugar clatter against bone.

His cock twitches as his eyes drink in the sight of you pulling it out, a small string of cherry red saliva connect to your darkened tongue and the pop before it breaks.

His eyes fly to the beta male in the room, who stares and tries not to palm himself.

The amethyst haired man begins to see red as he swallows thickly, reminding himself that murder is frowned upon among upcoming heros.

Still, what the fuck were you thinking darling? Wearing your cut off denim shorts that ride up the curvature of your ass, that he always, always always dicks you down in. Paired with a much too tight and much too low tanktop that shows off the tops of your breasts and lacy bralette.

"Imma head out Y/N!" The overly friendly asshole calls out to which you barely hum in his direction, meanwhile his eyes are glue to your ass as you reach higher.

Shinsou's fingers twitch at the thought of a thick column beneath them, pressing into tender flesh until bruises bloom in the shape of his palm and long digits.

Until that ever fragile larynx is crushed beneath the weight of his ire, of the onlookers audacity to even glance at what clearly does not belong to them.

Were the fucking blind? Did they not see the intricately woven eggplant rope that sat snuggly around your throat with a midnight purple pansy dangling from the front.

Did they think you wore it for fun?

No, darling, you wore it so other's would know.

But maybe you weren't educating them enough.

The moon rises high in the sky as time paces quickly for you but slowly for him as eyes remained fixated on the one thing he has ever given the time of day. The only thought that ever runs for his head long enough that it makes his heart flutter instead of the normal languid beats.

You

Youyouyouyouyouyouyouyou

YOU.

His heart pounds in his chest as another hour slips by as you tinker on that project.

That fucking project that he tries so hard to remind himself is what will help define your career, carve the path to greatness you deserve.

But you watch you so absorbed as you pop, yet another lollipop into your mouth, probably running off of the sugar alone, his stiff body is beginning to beg him to move.

Especially so as your phone lights up with his text, going forgotten on the desk as the upper half of your body is bent over inside of your giant mechanical project.

Your ass on display in front of the whole window, in a lab with great lighting but no survalence cameras and doors that are either always unlocked or can be picked easily.

A rare growl leaves his throat as anger gets the best of him. Feet finally uprooting his rigid body to stalk after you.

He tries the front door to the lab and as he thought it is unlocked.

He cool handle gives way to his command as his twists, pushing it open before shutting it quietly. Repeating the process until he reaches your door.

A keypad for "extra security".

"What a fucking joke." He scoffs to himself as he let's his fingers dance over the obviously worn keys figuring out the combination as the others look brand new. The door beeps a flashing green and he wonders if it will alert you. When it doesn't he shuts it softly behind him and waits.

Twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes your peach was in the air for all to fantasize over causing him to grind his teeth.

And the worst part that he spies is that you don't even have fucking headphones in to excuse the fact that you could not hear your phone.

Hear the door.

Or hear him.

He thinks to grab one of your many disorganized tools to tap against the table to grab your attention but he cannot trust himself that he won't make said tool a permanent fixture on the dark wood top.

His eyes flicker to you as you're reaching, again, for something just out of your reach instead of moving the damn ladder.

Here you stood top of your class and would be top of the OSHA violations.

The ladder tips too far in one direction causing you to jerk instinctively in the opposite direction over correcting causing the metal to slip beneath your converse.

This was it, this was how you went. Your project a few bolts and a test from completion only for you to lie motionless with either a twisted neck or in a puddle of your own quickly cooling blood.

You squeeze your eyes shut, damning yourself for having such a small useless quirk before you feel a set of strong arms catch you. An extremely familiar scent wafts of sandalwood and lilac waft your nose before your eyes snap open.

The world outside of your machine finally giving in to gravity as you fall head first from the clouds.

Staring up at cool, unforgiving eyes has your heart pounding agaisnt your sternum, demanding to be let go.

With the look he is serving isn't out of the ordinary for him considering he always has RFB. But you see it. The small difference, the rage burning deep beneath that icy glare, the twitch of his lip and the harsh grip on your arm as pads of capable fingers dig into your frame.

A large part of you wishes you had just fell. Just snapped your neck clean in two on impact.

As anything was going to be better than what was about to come to you.

Fuck what time was it?

What day was it?

Seconds of silence fly by before your stunning brain finally catches up with your body.

"Wha..what are you doing here Shin-kun." You stammer as he screams the answer with his seemingly bored gaze.

You're late! In all caps from amethyst eyes.

You subconsciously finger the ceramic petals of your necklace.

"Its only eight thirty! I have half an hour still." You plead, honestly have no concept of time. Having lived in the lab for the past three days.

"Try again." He says coolly causing your stomach to fill with chaotic butterflies. His tone carrys with it hints of venom causing you to gulp. When you cannot answer he openly clenches his jaw.

"It's almost one thirty in the morning darling." Fear seizes your bones, freezes your muscles until you're as stiff as a board. Your eyes flicker between the two loves of your life, the blueprint come to life in the form of honed metal and him.

He who you promised you wouldn't neglect, he who you promised you wouldn't neglect yourself either.

He sure would take once glance at you, hair matted and thrown in a messy bun, white tank top stained with oil and grease, having had nothing to eat save black coffee and endless bags of various kinds of lollipops. Whatever the hell brand your lab mate brought in really.

And then there was his literally saving you from death.

It was busy for the two of you to meet and by the looks of his civilian clothes he might have possibly taken time off.

Oh.

Oh no.

Is written all over your face as his screams the opposite.

Oh.

Oh yes.

You knew exactly what he was thinking, what his next moves were as the scarves around his throat seemed to move on their own accord.

Your core and stomach tighten as the rough fabric weave around your wrists and ankles all the while your heart and mind scream for you to run.

Who knew when you'd be able to leave the confines of his large penthouse apartment. Barely able to sit on the balcony on his roughest days.

Panic overrides your desire to be held captive. To give in to his every demand and be safely locked away in his tower.

"W...wait wait...." Glistening eyes soley fixated on the metal, "I..I'm almost done. I can finish t...tonight!"

He stares down at you for a long moment debating if he should just take you anyway.

If he should steal you away to a place he knows you'll be properly cared for.

Nourished.

But smelling the desperation that comes off of you in waves has his stomach twisting and his hero heart yelling at him to do the right thing.

Suddenly your redden wrists are free as the strips of fabric find themselves neatly settled around his neck once again.

"Fine." Your heart soars as he sets you to your feet. Implying what you had hoped he would allow all along.

You were close. So fucking close to being done, to needing a session of being locked away in his care for awhile.

But this had to be done first before you became his princess once more.

He pulls up a stool to watch you, perching atop it like a swishing tailed cat. Eyes lazily half open but undeniably focused as you hesitantly got into the mindset of working again. His gaze and smirk carry some malice as he speaks, your attention wholly on him a final time.

"But after tonight you're going to be with me for awhile darling ."

[virgomoontarot]

New Moon Pick a Pile Reading, August 19, 2020

I have been wanting to incorporate more communal readings like this, and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to create this for you all this evening. The New Moon signals the fresh start of a new cycle. I would like to invite you all to this community reading, which may shed some light on what new beginnings are in store for you. Please keep in mind, because this is a group reading, it may not feel as personal or accurate as readings conducted independently. If this reading raises any questions for you, feel free to shoot me a message so we can discuss it, or even dig deeper.

I now would like to invite you to close your eyes, and take some deep belly breaths. Release any tension you may be holding within your body. Try to imagine a dark night sky, full of bright stars. When you are ready, gently open your eyes, and pick a crystal that calls to you. This may not be the one you find the most beautiful or unique, but the one that is reaching out for your attention, pulling you in. Keep in mind, the following reading is just for fun. What does this new moon have in store for you?

Selenite

At the beginning of this moon cycle, you are finding yourself in a position of success. Great job, you’re killin it. You’ve leveled up. Your experience is building into wisdom which can provide you the resources necessary to move forward. If you’re in need of reassurance that you’re on the right track, this is it. This moon cycle, you will be challenged in a way that feels familiar. Something is coming back around that has challenged you in the past. So while you are in a more mature and successful place to deal with it this time around, it may feel discouraging to be confronted with a challenge you thought you had already worked through. Hold fast, and remain confident in your success. This repeating cycle is one which will bring forth even more personal growth. But growth doesn’t always feel too great until we get through to the other side. Hang in there. An element of this challenge that is hidden, is one that you are actually hiding from yourself, though you may not realize it. There is an element of denial at play here. You may be avoiding your inner emotions. You must take time for reflection. Slow down. You may be faced with a choice, but none of the options are appealing to you. However, the time has come to address these issues. You may find it helpful to take some alone time, practice some grounding, and ask yourself, what’s really bothering you? What really needs to be worked on? You can’t hide from your inner emotions forever. They will continue to resurface until you sort them out. This moon cycle, the universe is building a flow of energy and opportunity for you! How wonderful! It’s a great time to try and tap into this energy as much as possible and go with the flow. You can’t speed up the process, and you shouldn’t have any doubt. Open the sails and allow the winds of fate to blow you in the direction you must go. Be open to this flowing current of energy, and trust in it to serve you well. This moon cycle, you’re being encouraged to strive for a better relationship with the truth. Relating back to earlier in this reading, you need to be honest with yourself and acknowledge your deeper emotions. I get a sense that maybe some of you like to stay busy so that you don’t have to sit with your feelings. This is not the same as having a healthy intellectual understanding of your emotions. It’s just a form of avoidance. You’re being encouraged to keep it real with yourself. I get a sense that some of you may have some unhealthy emotional habits which are self sabotaging in nature. Evaluate these behaviors and their motivation, so that you can begin to tackle the root cause, rather than putting out fires that have already started. Some final words of encouragement this cycle are affirmations of stability and long term success. Again confirming that you’ve been doing awesome and that you’re leveling up. All this hard work is going to pay off, promise. Keep up the hustle. You are laying a strong foundation for long term growth and success. For some of you especially this is career oriented, but this can also be true in a sense of relationships and personal growth. The reward is coming, just keep pushing through.

Recap: you’ve been doing awesome and you’ve recently leveled up in a sense. This is a sign you’re on the right path. However, repeating cycles are going to emerge this moon cycle, likely because you have some inner work that requires your attention that you have been avoiding or denying its importance. Practice grounding and stay in the moment, and feel the flow of energy moving through as you move around and work through these stagnant inner areas. Strive to keep it real and be honest with yourself about the nature and cause of unhealthy behavior and thought patterns. You will continue to grow your success this moon cycle, and by the next new moon, you will have taken significant steps toward laying a foundation for future success and stability.

Obsidian

This moon cycle calls for resilience. Perhaps you’ve recently found yourself softening in the face of challenges, and if you haven’t, then you will be needing to. Rather than taking challenges head on, which can create more resistance, this moon cycle calls for you to approach opposition with compassion and curiosity.The challenge of this moon cycle is in your ability to open your heart up. There is a partnership, a long term relationship in your life. For some this may of course be romantic in nature, but it could also be a friendship, familial relationship, business partnership, or otherwise. You must open yourself up to this. Now is not the time to be closed off. I get a sense of a lack of trust here for some of you. Some of you have been hurt and are not feeling confident in the ability of others to pull their end of the partnership. You must soften, and rather than viewing this as you vs them, view it as you both vs the problem. View your differences from a place of compassion and empathy. A hidden piece of the challenge here is a significant loss. There is another calling here for resilience and perseverance. You may need to reach out for help now. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is something that often takes courage. Whatever this unexpected loss may be, you must reach out to someone, open your heart and trust that they will do what they can to support you. Life is always going to have ups and downs. Support when we are down will develop into celebration when we are up. This moon cycle, a brand new opportunity is building for you. This is resource oriented. So for many of you this is income or career oriented. For others, this is a new relationship of some kind. For all of you, it is a shift that must begin from within. In order to mold our outer world, we must create a healthy inner world for it to reflect. This means putting ourselves in an abundance mindset. Practice affirmations like “I am successful” “I am grateful” “I have everything I need”. This moon cycle asks you to surrender to the loss you will be experiencing. That sucks. I’m not gonna sugar coat it. This loss is gonna hurt, but you will get through it by the end of this cycle, and new opportunities will present themselves on the other side. You must walk away from what is no longer serving you. You can’t hold on to what’s already gone. It won’t do you any good. Press onward. Strive to accept this change as a force of growth. It’s time to move on so you may ascend beyond this phase of your life. Ouch. Your final words of encouragement here are that this process cannot be rushed. I know it hurts and it sucks to feel down and out. Life isn’t fair, and you just want to push through and succeed and get what you’re wanting and craving. You can’t force these things. You have to surrender and ride this out. But you will get through this, as long as you stay true to yourself and do not compromise your integrity in order to get ahead or get back at those who have hurt you.

Recap: this moon cycle, unfortunately, you will be faced with a great loss. You can’t rush the grieving process, nor can you force the growth process. You must surrender to your circumstances and sit with this misfortune. This is going to be a test of your resilience, but by softening in the face of challenge and being gentle with yourself, you will make it through this. You are strong enough. But no one is strong enough to get through this time alone. You need to find a way to trust someone and reach out for support. This is a key element of this challenge, and it will be your guiding light. Remember that through endings we are delivered to new beginnings, and this somber change is one that is going to bring you to a place of new opportunities which are better suited for you.

Labradorite

This moon cycle has you in a situation where you just have to walk away. If you recently left a toxic environment, this is your sign that you made the right choice. If you’re unsure what to do and have not made a choice, you must walk into the unknown, even if it is sad or frightening, it is for the best. Challenges this cycle relate to authority and structure. If you’re planning on making some moves, you’re gonna be faced with the challenge of laying the necessary infrastructure to make it happen. This challenge could relate to a boss or a parent, or it could be a lack of self confidence. If this is the case, take time to feel empowered and energized. Sit in front of the mirror and repeat after me: “You.Are.A.Badass.” A hidden element of this challenge is a need for tradition and structured practice. You may be surprised how well you fare upon the adoption of a dedicated meditation practice. This could also be a sign you require a menor or a teacher during this time, and it’s hard for you to admit that. The forces of justice are building for you during this moon cycle. So if you’ve been wronged by a person of authority, the truth is going to come out. If you have been dishonest and cut corners in your commitments, the truth is also going to come out. Be aware of this. You are encouraged this moon cycle to explore the unknown within. This is something you must do on your own. Nobody else can do this for you. You are encouraged to sit with yourself in quiet contemplation and reflection. Again, I am seeing encouragement to meditate or spend time in thoughtful prayer. Elements of the subconscious must be explored. Your final words of encouragement today, are that your happiness and success is entirely up to you. Do not place the success of your happiness in external factors, such as the way others treat you, or what you do for a living or the value of your home. Happiness and contentment come from within. By creating a space of self acceptance within, your outer world will be illuminated in a new light that you may find to be far more satisfying. Additionally, you’re encouraged not to indulge in fantasy too much. Be realistic with yourself and the truth of your situation. Set tangible goals that are under your control, rather than asking the universe to simply drop a happy bomb in your lap.

Recap. This moon cycle calls you to explore the sub conscious through diligent practice in order to create a more peaceful inner world. It calls for structure and discipline and quiet contemplation. You must face these inner truths, and remain realistic in your desires. The practice itself, whether it is one of prayer, meditation, yoga, taking walks, or anything else, is what will illuminate these areas of self. Show up for yourself and remain confident in your ability to grow and create a happier state of self.

Feel free to reblog this post or share it with a friend! Thank you all for taking the time to explore what this next cycle has in store for us. I wish you all the best on your new opportunities for personal growth with this new moon!

✨🌑💜

[hide-in-imagination]

“Roads That Cross... With Delfi and Jazmín” (Part 1)

You can read the previous chapters here: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13) 

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This chapter ended up being way longer than I anticipated so I took the healthy decision of dividing it in two. That way you get updates faster, and I have time to figure stuff out in the meantime. Enjoy!

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Simón wasn’t sure where the urge had come from, but he didn’t question it as he made the short walk to the mansion to get his guitar.

Part of him hoped he’d find Ámbar there or in the way there. He wanted to feel her close. He wanted to bury his face in her neck and breathe in the smell of her hair. It was a scent he could recognize now; even carried it with him after that morning, although he couldn’t smell it in himself. He still didn’t know exactly what it was 'cause the bottle didn’t show it, but it was nice, and most importantly, his memory associated it with sweet moments with Ámbar. Maybe if he smelled it, he’d feel better. Maybe if she just smiled at him, he’d feel better.

He didn’t find her.

Simón almost stayed in the storage room. Not because he wanted to hide from Benicio but because the calmness of the empty room was inviting. He could just stay for a while, play a couple songs without anyone bothering him…

You wanna lose your job too?

With a sigh, Simón placed the guitar inside its gig bag and made his return to the Roller alone.

Once inside, Simón walked to the stage and sat on its edge, bringing his guitar close and playing with the strings. Soon, a melody came about, a nostalgic one, and his voice came out to join it.

Te vas amor,

si así lo quieres qué le voy a hacer

Tu vanidad no te deja entender

Que en la pobreza se sabe querer…

Right as he began the next verse, another voice started singing, taking him by surprise. Simón snapped his head to the side and saw Luna, smiling widely as she walked closer to sit at his left. Seeing her smile brought a smile to him as well, and he strummed the guitar harder, with more vivacity, singing the chorus with her.

For two minutes, Simón forgot about everything. He felt back in Cancún, under the sun he had grown up with. He could almost hear the waves and their laughs with Luna and the voice of her mom begging him to stop playing that song.

Then the song was over, the strings rigid and static once again, just like his life. He felt stuck, as if, at some point, the solid ground under his feet had been replaced by a treadmill, and no matter how hard he ran, he didn’t arrive anywhere.

Simón didn’t have many moments like these; he didn’t allow himself to. He had learned— internalized from a very young age that a positive attitude was the key to achieve everything in life. And it wasn’t a karma thing where you expected the world to return your good deeds back to you one day, it was about how you chose to see things. Whenever something dragged you down or didn’t go as you wanted it to, you had two options: let it get you down or keep going. Simón kept going. He kept advancing and advancing, but there would always come a point where the big boulder he was pushing up the hill would roll back down and try to crush him.

This was one of those moments.

It was stupid, really. Benicio thrived on making other people’s lives miserable, for all intents and purposes he shouldn’t have listened to him. But he couldn’t un-listen to him, so now he had a cacophony of voices in his head calling him a failure. Telling him to go back to his country. Telling him that he wasn’t good enough.

“This song talks about love,” Luna told him hesitatingly, her green eyes showing worry. “Is there anyone that you think doesn’t deserve a love that’s sincere?”

It was funny. Some months ago, drowned in bitterness and hurt feelings, he would’ve answered ‘Ámbar’. Now though, it was like the lyrics he had sung a thousand times over had transformed into something else while remaining the same. It was like looking at something that could be written by a future version of himself. A version of himself abandoned with nothing left but a song.

“I wasn’t thinking about the lyrics,” he replied. It was both true and a lie. He was thinking about everything and nothing at once. A part of him was screaming at him to stop making up scenarios in his head while another kept answering ‘but what if they come true?’

Keep going.

Suddenly, Luna said she had to go, so Simón put on a smile to make it easier for her to do so.

Once again, it was just him and his guitar.

 *************************

 Five times. Sharon had left five times enough money to pay for the tea and coffee they had consumed. She probably hadn’t even bothered to look at the prices and hadn’t taken the time to count in her haste to leave Ámbar alone once again. How long had they been together? Ten minutes? Five?

I failed.

Ámbar stayed in her seat, finishing her tea as she wallowed in everything that had gone wrong. Not only was Sharon not stopping but now she was mad about Simón. Oh, Simón; she had lied to him telling him she was going to see Vidia, all for what? She had told Sharon that she wasn’t going to tell him anything, and for what?

She didn’t know if what she was feeling was fear, frustration or anguish. Maybe all three. What was she gonna do? What could she do? She was trapped.

A sudden wave of anger hit her. This was all Sharon’s fault. All of it. She wouldn’t be in any mess if it wasn’t for her. Had Sharon ever even thanked her for all she had done for her? No, of course not, it’s just what was expected of her. And now she had the audacity to tell her who she should and shouldn’t be with? She wanted her to renounce something that made her happy just because of a whim of hers? She knew Sharon was selfish, but this was something else.

Ámbar reached for the bills Sharon had left. She didn’t want anything from her, she’d pay the drinks herself. She almost wanted to tear the money apart. She almost did. But then she got an idea.

No; she was going to spend it. And she was gonna spend it on something for Simón. It was the biggest ‘fuck you’ move she could manage at the moment and she was gonna do it.

With her mind made, she asked for the check, paid, and left the Café to go visit some stores.

---------------------

The plan had been to just buy him something and go back to the Roller quickly, but once she started looking through different things, Ámbar lost sense of time.

It occurred to her that it was the first time she was shopping for Simón. What could he like? What would be useful? Those questions repeated on her mind. She got a little over-excited going through the stores, seeing everything on a new light because she wasn’t thinking about her tastes but about his.

Of course, she had bought stuff for Matteo when they were dating, but that had been different. Back then, she had done it almost with professionalism, going for the prestigious brands first, thinking about which accessory would fit more with his style or which item of clothes would go better with his skin color.

Clothes. Clothes are useful, he could like that.

As Ámbar went through different male sections, she confirmed how different it was to shop for Simón. She didn’t think about brands; she knew he didn’t care about that. Instead, she looked at different items and imagined how they would look on him. She thought about which one would make Simón happier, or which one would make her want to take it off him the most.

Not everything was fun though. Against her will, her conversation with Sharon continued to play on her mind. Her blind rage against the Valente, her accusation that Ámbar had switched sides, her ice-cold voice telling her to break up with Simón... 

It was the first time that Sharon ordered her something and Ámbar straight out refused. The fact made her proud as much as it scared her. What if Sharon was serious about wanting her away from Simón? What if there was retaliation? What if she did something?

Don’t be ridiculous, Ámbar, this is not a soap opera.

Sharon wasn’t going to hire assassins or something. Ironically, she would have to actually care to do anything about it, and all her life experiences had shown her that she did not.

‘You better listen to me, Ámbar, it’s for your own good.’

Ámbar put the hook she had been holding back into its rack with a little more force than necessary. ‘For your own good’; she was so sick of hearing that phrase from her mouth. To tell her that she would go down with her, that no one would forgive her…

She doesn’t need to tell me that, I know it already.

Ámbar shoved all of that out of her mind and re-focused on the clothes. She was gonna give Simón something, he was gonna be happy, and he wasn’t going to leave her.

The low budget made things difficult. Of course, she could use her credit card and not just Sharon’s money but, one, that would defeat the purpose, and two, she felt if she pulled her card out, she was going to end up buying half the mall and then Simón would feel bad and scold her for spending so much on him.

Well, he better be prepared for his birthday. There was no way she wouldn’t fill him with presents then.

If we’re still together, her mind retorted immediately. She focused all her will into ignoring that.

By the time she finally made it out of the mall, it had been hours. She felt irresponsible for leaving her work on the side for so long, but it was time well spent. She wanted to get to the Roller quickly and see Simón’s face.

But when she arrived, he wasn’t there. Confused, she turned to Pedro who was retrieving empty plates from a recently vacant table and asked him about Simón.

“He said he was going to the mansion and coming right back.”

Ámbar frowned. That was unusual. Maybe he had forgotten something that morning?

Anyway, he thanked Pedro and was making her way through the cafeteria to wait for Simón when she heard voices coming from the dressing room. The door was ajar, so she stopped right before it to avoid being seen and concentrated on listening. Normally, she wouldn’t have eavesdropped —the days where she focused on what everyone else was doing were behind her— but she immediately recognized the voices inside, and it did not sound good.

“...the Red Sharks no longer exist,” Ramiro was saying, his voiced clipped.

“Maybe it would still exist if its teammates weren’t traitors,” Benicio spat resentfully.

“The reason it doesn’t exist anymore is that you don’t even care about skating, all you two care about is ruining everyone else's lives! Just leave Delfi and Jazmín alone,” Ramiro exclaimed forcefully.

Ámbar’s attention peaked at hearing her ex-best friends’ names. Why was Benicio going against Jazmín and Delfi?

“We are not going to do anything; they did it to themselves all on their own. And I don’t remember asking for your opinion, traitor. Benicio, did you ask for his opinion?”

Oh, so Emilia was also there. It didn’t surprise her. Ever since Benicio arrived, she hanged to his every word. Ámbar had noticed some jealousy coming from her when Benicio and her had been… together. (God, how she hated to remember that.) Now that she was out of the way, Emilia had clearly stepped up to take the role of his right-hand woman. Or, more exactly, the same pitiful role she had played with Matteo.

“No, I didn’t,” Benicio answered, and Ámbar could perfectly imagine the cocky face he was making. “It seems to me like you’re just desperate for someone to talk to, Ramiro, interrupting conversations like that. But you made your choice. We don’t want you anywhere near us.”

“And if your besties from the Roller don’t want you near either, then… I’m sorry, honey. But you’re going to be very, very alone.”

Emilia’s mocking tone made Ámbar want to slap her. They had been something like friends once, but the more time passed, her attitude became worse. Ámbar had had the hope that Emilia would come to her senses since she was not stupid, but with Benicio’s influence and her trying to win his attention… It was a bad mix.

If the pair had been trying to intimidate Ramiro, it didn’t work. His voice sounded firm and decided when he replied, “I prefer it that way.”

“Leave Delfi and Jazmín alone, I mean it,” he said with a warning tone, and next thing Ámbar knew, he was walking out the door, almost colliding with her.

Ramiro’s eyes widened when they focused on her.

“Á—”

Quickly, Ámbar rose her hands in a gesture for him to remain quiet and dragged him away by the arm. She stopped inside the lockers and turned to Ramiro.

“What was that about?” She asked in some of a quiet voice in case Emilia or Benicio walked by. “I heard Delfi and Jazmín being mentioned, what are Benicio and Emilia planning?”

Ramiro let out a deep sigh. “Sadly, I have to admit that Delfi and Jazmín were the ones who got themselves in this situation.”

“What situation?”

“Did you watch their last videos?”

Ámbar blinked. “No? I have more important things to do.”

“Like going shopping?” He asked sardonically, giving a look to the bag she had left behind her on top of the bench.

“Oh. No, that was just an improvised gift for Simón,” she dismissed.

Ramiro gave her the cheekiest smile and look on the planet. “Awww, the little princess is in love.”

Ámbar rolled her eyes.

“Don’t tease me, Ramiro, just tell me what’s up.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Fine,” he sighed. “So, basically, Delfi’s and Jazmín’s last videos were almost identical. Everyone assumed one had copied the other and each of them claimed the other was the copycat, which generated a fight.”

“Okay…”

“But, the truth is that they planned it all. They made the whole scandal to gain views and subscribers.”

Ámbar raised her eyebrows. “Really…”

And then they complained that it was she who pushed them to do these kinds of things. Look at them now. She didn’t even talk to them and they had planned a scam all on their own!

They could not blame her influence for this one, and Ámbar felt a little happy about that. It was almost vindication. Also, it served as proof that even ‘the good ones’ made bad deeds sometimes.

Contrary to her silent joy, Ramiro looked troubled.

“It was wrong what they did, I know that. But now that Benicio and Emilia know about it, they’re going to tell the whole world and I’m worried about what’ll happen to the girls.”

If Ámbar knew the internet at all, they were going to get a lot of hate once the news broke out. Backlash from a failed plan was something she was definitely familiar with.

“Well... you’re right,” she told Ramiro. “They did get themselves in this situation.” Just as she’d had to deal with the consequences of her actions, Delfi and Jazmín would have to deal with theirs.

“Yeah, but Benicio and Emilia shouldn’t get to enjoy it,” Ramiro retorted with frustration.

It was a good point. Yes, the girls had made a mistake, but Benicio and Emilia turning it into a victory of sorts for them didn’t sit well with her at all. It could be that all Delfi and Jazmín would have to face would be some angry comments, but to Delfi, and especially Jazmín, their followers’ opinions were important. It was going to be a hard blow.

“Although, maybe nothing will happen,” Ramiro continued on a hopeful note. “Even if Benicio and Emilia expose them, who will believe them? It’s not like they have a good reputation in the Fab & Chic or Ja Jazmín.”

“That’s a good point,” Ámbar agreed.

Ramiro looked pensive. “I think I’ll tell the girls anyway. Just in case.”

She nodded. “Yeah, better. I’ll be here all day so, if I see them, I’ll give them a heads up too.”

Ramiro smiled and gave a playful shove to her shoulder. “Look at you, being all nice. What happened to the ‘I don’t care about anyone or anything’ attitude?”

Ámbar shrugged with pursed lips. “I just think they have the right to know. Maybe if they have time to prepare themselves it won’t be so bad…” she averted her gaze. “I surely would’ve liked some heads ups.” About a lot of things. 

She could feel his eyes on her in the silence that followed, but she wasn’t expecting what he said next.

“I know you didn’t mean to burn the rink.”

Surprised, Ámbar turned to see him. His gaze was kind as he showed her a sad smile.

“You do?” She asked hesitatingly.

“Yeah,” he confirmed assuredly. “You’re like me; skating is a part of us. To think that you’d intentionally destroy this place is absurd.”

Ámbar’s whole body reacted with energy and her hands rose to the sky. “Why, thank you! Finally someone uses some common sense!”

He laughed at her utter elation and she laughed in utter relief. Finally, finally someone believed her. Well, she assumed Simón believed her too since she doubted he would’ve gotten back together with her otherwise, but he hadn’t believed it at first, and it was nice to actually hear the words for once.

It gave Ámbar just a little hope. Maybe with time, more people would believe her too.

“Well, since I’m here, I think I’m gonna skate for a while,” Ramiro said, walking to his locker and opening it. He spun to look at her. “Wanna join me?”

She gave him a sorry smile. “Thanks but I have to work. I ignored my responsibilities for too long already.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” he said with a smile, pulling out his skates.

“Okay.”

Ámbar walked out of the lockers and headed back to the cafeteria. The moment she stepped foot in there, the first thing she saw as if pulled in by a magnet, was Simón scrunched back as he talked with Luna, sat on the edge of the stage. He had his guitar over his legs, but even without it, she knew she would’ve recognized him. Just as her eyes always found him.

Her chest instantly filled with glee. It had only been a couple hours but, she realized that she had missed him.

Over his shoulder, Luna saw her and their gazes met. Quickly, she said something to Simón and stood, leaving him alone. She gave Ámbar a little smile as she walked to the other side of the bar and then sat in one of the couches.

Ámbar understood the gesture and returned the smile, albeit feeling a little weird. She still wasn’t used to being amicable toward Luna. She suspected it would take a while considering how long she had spent hating her guts. But she didn’t hate her anymore, and she was an important part of Simón’s life; that was a big reason for them to get along.

Luna must have come to the same conclusion, and Ámbar wasn’t about to waste the opportunity.

 ***************

 Fingerpicking was something Simón had struggled with when he first started playing guitar. Now it was something he did without thinking, or rather, it was something he could do automatically while thinking of something else entirely.

If he hadn’t been distracted, he probably would’ve heard the footsteps behind him. But he was and he didn’t, so when a pair of hands touched his shoulders and he felt a kiss on his cheek, he nearly jumped.

Simón spun in a flash and his heart skipped another beat when he saw that smile.

“Ámbar,” he said surprised as she happily took sit beside him. He left his guitar aside. “You arrived.”

He had wanted to see her all day but, now that she was there in front of him, he wasn’t sure what he felt. His head was a mess at the moment, too many worries and situations that may or may not happen fluttered around.

But seeing her smiling at him, looking at him with nothing but affection… it eased the knot of anxiety in his chest a little bit.

“Actually, you arrived. I’ve been here for some minutes now,” she informed him.

He was surprised once again. “What? Really? I didn’t see you.”

“Ah, I was in the lockers with Ramiro until now, that’s probably why. And you weren’t here when I arrived,” she explained. “Now I see why you went out. Did you get a strike of inspiration or something?” She asked, signaling to his guitar.

Simón brought his gaze to the instrument. “Something like that.”

He didn’t want to talk about his worries now that she was finally with him. Especially what had to do with her. She’d probably just scold him anyway for listening to Benicio in the first place. It was silly. It wasn’t worth it.

“Everything okay with Vidia?” he said instead, to avoid the topic. “You were out for a while.”

Ámbar blinked, and for one second, he thought he saw a change in her expression, but it was gone very quick.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine, everything went well,” she replied smiling and held one of his hands.

Suddenly, he was reminded of how much he had wanted to hold her before. The feeling of her hand against his may have not been much, even friends held hands sometimes and it didn’t mean anything deep, but right now, it was reassuring. She was there, with him, sweet and tangible.

A shout came from afar.

“Ámbar!”

She turned around and Simón tilted his head to the left to look behind her. Ramiro was skating toward them, which was weird because that usually wasn’t allowed in the cafeteria. He was holding a white paper bag in one of his hands.

“You forgot your present.”

Ámbar let go of Simón’s hand and stood rapidly.

“Oh my god, thank you,” she said, and received the bag when Ramiro reached them. “How silly of me.”

Simón stood up as well and watched them. A bad feeling settled on the pit of his stomach; one he didn’t like but also couldn’t help. Why is Ramiro giving gifts to Ámbar? He thought. And, of course, the immediate reason was because they’re friends, but were they really that close already? Since when? And how close?

There was nothing wrong in Ramiro giving her something, he knew that, but Simón felt defeated all the same. He hadn’t even given Ámbar a gift yet and he was her boyfriend. Wasn’t he supposed to do those things?

Completely unaware of Simón’s discomfort, Ramiro smiled at Ámbar.

“You’re welcome, little princess,” he told her. With a wink. Then he looked at both of them and said, “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Just like that, he turned on his skates and began sliding back to where he came from. On the way, he was approached by Luna, who started following him. “Ramiro! Hi! How would you feel about being a background dancer?”

Simón barely registered all of that because his mind was still on the wink, on the gift, and on the ‘Little princess’.

Since when did they treat each other like that? Since when did they have pet names? 

They’re just friends, he repeated to himself. But at the same time, he was hearing—

‘Now that she has you, let’s see how long it lasts.’

“Simón?”

His gaze snapped back to Ámbar.

“Yes?”

“You seemed kind of out of it for a second,” she told him.

He shook his head and tried to smile. “It’s nothing.” They’re just friends, they’re just friends.

Ámbar held the gift bag with both hands and Simón hated the way she seemed to handle it with care. Right as she started saying something, another voice called out for him.

“Simón!”

Simón turned to his left as Pedro rapidly came to his side, holding a tray with drinks on one hand and a note on the other. He had a rug on top of one of his shoulders and he seemed a little agitated.

“I’m sorry, could you make the orders for table three?” He asked. “I have my hands full.”

Simón felt a jab of guilt. Of course; it was probably lunchtime by now. Customers always went up at that time of the day, it was the reason why they usually took breaks after those hours. Simón should’ve been minding the clock, he should’ve been tuned in to that, Pedro shouldn’t have even had to ask.

“Yes, of course,” he replied immediately, receiving the piece of paper from him with the orders written down.

Pedro turned back to deliver the drinks while Simón quickly left the guitar in the stand on top of the stage and went behind the bar. He didn’t even look at Ámbar, feeling ashamed. The first thing she had seen after hours of being gone was him playing the guitar while he was supposed to be working and Pedro practically begging him to help out.

So he was not only a lousy boyfriend but a lousy employee as well. Great. Just great.

“Wait, could you take five minutes?” Ámbar told him. “I wanted to—”

“No, I’m sorry, I took enough minutes already,” he told her as his hands moved through ingredients. “I gotta help Pedro.”

To be honest, he feared whatever she might say at that moment. He didn’t want to hear it. The one thing he wanted right then was to stop feeling like a complete failure.

“Okay…” Ámbar said slowly. “Okay, sure. I’ll just grab my folder and I’ll let you work.”

She walked behind the bar and ducked to pull out her big green folder from under it. As she turned to leave, Simón felt the urge to grab her and tell her he’d give her as many minutes as she wanted. As many gifts as she could ever wish for.

He didn’t.

As he continued working, the voice inside his head calling him ‘loser’ didn’t even sound like Benicio anymore. It sounded like himself.  

 ...

..

.

  ------------------------------

Y’all think that Ámbar is the human embodiment of ‘conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know’, but I actually think that Simón is as Elsa as Ámbar and I’m gonna prove it. Consider this chapter the prologue of my thesis: “Simón has been through shit too, he just smiles too much for you to see it.” Also, consider that thesis the part one of a trilogy called “No one deserves Simón and that is a FACT.” 

Also, did anyone ask for more Rambar? Well, here you go, fresh out of the oven.  

Hope you liked this and Part 2 should be done in about two weeks. 

[unscripted-quotidian]

Education in India

"Education of mind is not the learning of facts but the training of the mind to think".

-Albert Einstein.

Education is the key to one's transformation in leading one to be a responsible individual. India jumped five ranks in the Worldwide Educating for the Future Index (WEFFI) 2019, as per a report published by The Economist Intelligence Unit grabbing the 35th position globally. India secured a total score of 53, based on three categories – policy environment, teaching environment, and overall socio-economic environment. The country ranked 40th with an overall score of 41.2 across categories in 2018.

The new education scheme launched in 2020 is designed to provide skill-based learning. India has made particular strides in the policy environment with respect to the new national education policy that explicitly mentions future-oriented skills such as critical thinking, communication, and entrepreneurship. 6% of GDP is to be allocated to the education sector alone. The Ministry had also proposed to start a degree level full-fledged online education program along with apprenticeship embedded degree or diploma courses in 150 higher educational institutions which will begin by March 2021.

But will this bring about any change to the existing model of the boring semester system prevalent in Indian universities?  

Some of the major problems of the Indian Education system (especially in the higher education sector)  are-

1. Privatization of educational institutes and Fee Hike

What is common among countries such as Germany, France, Sweden? Yup! Free education!! Yet a degree from these places is world-renowned. For example, all educational institutes of Germany are Government funded and are always in touch with industries.

In addition to private universities, technical and professional institutes like IIM’s have an expensive curriculum. For instance, IIM’s charge Rs. 2 lakh per semester for MBA classes; most of the Private Engineering Institutes charge around 2 lakh an academic year. It is beyond the reach of the common man. Privatization of higher education has led to the growth of profit-hungry entrepreneurs.

The pandemic hit students hard even in terms of fees where they had to pay for resources they aren't going to use such as sports facilities, library, college WiFi when it is uncertain when the student is expected to return. Students also pay a hefty sum to clear backlogs.  

2. Reservation and Scholarships-

There is nothing worse than this! There are several deserving candidates who lose out to a student who has reservations. From a student's point of view and on a personal note, it is not wrong to reserve seats for the backward classes, but at what cost? The cut-off for getting admission anywhere is ridiculously low!! In some cases, it is as low as negative marks wherein technically a candidate simply can write his/her name on the sheet and walk out knowing that there is no competition while students who are from the general category need to slog even more. This extreme advantage reservation candidates get, creates a big hole in the general category student's confidence due to the severe competition.  

If there must be a competition, it must be a healthy one and on equal terms.

There is no fault in providing financial aids to such economically backward students. However, it is INJUSTICE when a general category student loses out a seat due to such preferences. There are several students who buy fake caste certificates to gain an edge and there is no system to verify the same.  

Another quota which adds to the misery is "DISABILITY". Ask yourselves! Is it really important? In what way has this disability stopped you from studying? It's not that you are blind and couldn't read. I have seen people who have a broken toe/leg or a broken finger in the non-dominant hand getting a PwD certificate and reducing their cut off marks to succeed or gain entry into institutes.

3. Quality of Teachers

This is common not only in Universities but also in rural schools. There is always a fear to ask questions because it may not be taken well by the teachers. There is a sizeable figure of lecturers/profs who fail to answer the doubts of the students and blame the student for their incompetence. As students, let us face it, we've been teaching ourselves. There are very few teachers out there who genuinely teach the subject. A proper system must be introduced to filter out the teachers and train them in general.

Today as much as a professor would claim to lecture in class, it is a mere PPT template that has been running in the department from time immemorial. Several Professors are overqualified on paper but underqualified to teach. What is the point of all those degrees and doctorates if he/she can't teach properly?

Teaching is a gift and having a great teacher is always a boon to a student. Statistically, a student falls in love with the subject even more only if the teacher is amazing! The same teacher is also responsible to make a student feel repulsive towards the subject because of the latter's sloppiness.

4. Outdated Syllabus

What can be more annoying than learning something that has no practical value in today's fast-paced technological world? Even though we have reached wherever we are because of the predecessor tech, too much emphasis shouldn't be given. Modern-day adaptations of the previous concepts must be taught in addition to the archaic method.

5. Getting Certified through various Platforms

As useful it might seem from a knowledge point of view, it isn't particularly useful when it comes to non-circuit courses or even circuit courses for that matter. Students just have to solve MCQ's (to which already they have answers) or a format of repeated questions to clear the course and obtain a "Certificate". Let's be honest, we don't even remember what was taught in the course 2 semesters down the lane due to a lack of opportunity to apply what we learned.

6. Ridiculous Timelines-

Every semester is so tightly packed with tons of pointless assignments, tests, quizzes and what not?. Deadlines from colleges end up with one compromising their personal tasks. A student is bound to have fun during the semester weekends. You can't expect a student to work day in and day out without any period of relaxation by dumping pointless assignments. The student is mounted with unnecessary pressure and in most cases given work only in the last moments.

7. The Attendance Drama

No student will shy away from the fact that the main reason for going to class is to maintain a "minimum" attendance requirement of 75-85%. This bogus rule to ensure that a student has to attend class does not guarantee that he/she is learning in class.  The fact that students feel forced to attend class rather than feeling enthusiastic for the same, speaks volumes for itself.

The overall education system is to be blamed. The craze for a few branded courses like engineering and medicine is another thing that our society has to look beyond. The University management is an embodiment of Poor structure and planning and the system is trash in several colleges. No matter which institute, the system is just a lazy lump of corruption. Certain managements do not even work on their student's needs in order to get placed in companies and blame the students for their incompetence. They do not provide the necessary training to the students who later finds a lot of difficulty in seeking a job due to the lack of strong fundamentals. Greedy managements tactfully lure the parents into enrolling their children there. The students thus do not know the value of that course and simply assume that marks, grades, and the degree certificate will enable them to be industry-ready.

The Education Policy 2020 looks promising for the fact it is a good start considering the present scenario. It has its own advantages and disadvantages. In short, academic, vocational and extracurricular activities have been given weightage. As amazing as it looks on paper, its implementation is going to play a key role in the change!

As a society, we must change the notion that having a degree and being qualified are two very different things. You can have a degree but still, be an idiot.

Let us just hope with crossed fingers that the upcoming generations have a better system than ours with the successful implementation of the Education Policy 2020.

[besidemethewholedamntime]

the widest thing in the world

A gift for my bean @2minutes2midnight because you’re simply amazing <3

This is basically self-indulgent family fluff because I missed writing fluff and specifically my fs baby Sarah. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: 

"Overwhelmed? He’s designed literal rocket ships on very tight deadlines, been to other desert planets, fought aliens. Overwhelmed? Pft. Fitz feels the familiar tingle which means a challenge is arising. His earlier doubts are vanquished. He’s Leopold James Fitz. This isn’t going to ‘overwhelm him’."

Jemma has to go to Cornwall for a week, leaving Fitz, their dog, and their two year old daughter home alone for a week. What's the worst that could happen?

{Read on Ao3}

or read below!

-x-

“Fitz, you’ll be fine,” Jemma sighs, exasperated, as though she’s repeated the statement hundreds of times. Fitz thinks she’s being a bit over the top – it’s only been fifty- seven. “She’s your daughter and she’s two years old and you’ve been alone with her plenty of times before.”

“Yeah, I know that,” he hisses, trying to wrestle away his shoe from the dog. “I’ve never been alone with dog that’s actually a toddler and an actual human toddler for a whole week before.”

Jemma pauses, looking up from where she has been going through her handbag to ensure she has everything she needs. Her face just screams unimpressed. “Are you telling me that you aren’t capable of looking after our child alone?”

“Just saying she’s going through a bit of a-” A high-pitched shriek cuts him off. Oh, how he almost regrets getting her the toddler toy piano. “-stage at the moment.”

“Which is exactly why we decided that we wouldn’t drag her all the way to Cornwall for my cousin’s wedding,” Jemma says placatingly, gently teasing Fitz’s shoe from Biscuit’s mouth and setting it on the table. “Besides, that wedding is going to be horrible. I don’t want to expose my husband and daughter to it if I can help it.”

Fitz drops into the kitchen chair, feeling tiredness weigh heavily on his shoulders. In preparation for the apparently ‘terrible twos’ they’re about to experience, Sarah has taken to not sleeping for more than three hours in a row at night. She cries ‘daddy’ until he comes to get her.

Never ‘mummy’. Always ‘daddy’.

“You don’t even like Cecelia anyway,” he mumbles, scrubbing his hands over his face, hoping the blood flow will make him feel less drained.

“She’s an awful, spiteful person,” Jemma confirms, going back to her suitcase. “But if I don’t at least make an appearance she will use it against me to the rest of my entire family. Half of them already don’t quite trust me because I essentially cut off communication with them for three years.”

It’s been quite something, this descent back into normal lives that they hadn’t quite led since they were fifteen. Jemma’s family, in particular, had always wondered about it, especially when she had essentially gone off the grid for five years and returned with a husband and no explanations whatsoever. It amuses him to think of their faces if they could divulge everything that had happened.

“Who cares what they think?” He drums his fingers against the table, fingers catching on a bit of paper with Jemma’s handwriting. He brings it closer so he can read it. “You see them like once a year and that’s being generous.”

“I don’t care what they think. We have our own family. But I will not have them hold it against Sarah in case she decides she wants a relationship with them when she is older.”

“Okay, yeah, makes sense,” Fitz says absently, still reading what’s in front of him. He holds it up. “Jemma, what’s this?”

“Oh.” She smiles brightly. “It’s a list of everything that still needs to happen while I’m gone.”

He feels a little insulted. A lot insulted. “Do you really think I’ll not remember? We’ve been doing this whole parenting thing for quite a while now.”

Jemma just smiles that ever so rational smile. “Relax, Fitz, I wasn’t doubting your capabilities. It’s just merely to help you in case you get-” this time it’s a deafening lower note which sounds like thunder. Jemma’s smile freezes, barely wavers “-overwhelmed.”

Overwhelmed? He’s designed literal rocket ships on very tight deadlines, been to other desert planets, fought aliens. Overwhelmed? Pft. Fitz feels the familiar tingle which means a challenge is arising. His earlier doubts are vanquished. He’s Leopold James Fitz. This isn’t going to ‘overwhelm him’.

Then the dog steals his keys from off the table, Sarah decides to start playing multiple notes very forcefully at once, and Jemma just smiles at him innocently, humming to herself as she checks her baggage.

Yeah, overwhelmed sounds about right.

-x-

The chaos starts half an hour after they’ve dropped Jemma off at the train station.

“Want mummy.” Sarah plants her feet in the ground.

“Mummy’s gone to a wedding,” Fitz explains patiently. “We’ll Facetime her tonight though, yeah? You’ll be able to see her through the screen.”

“No.” The petulant lip, the feet spread equidistant apart. The hands on the hips. All signs that a tantrum is imminent.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll have so much fun this week that you won’t even notice she’s gone.”

“No.” She narrows her eyes at him as if he must be deliberately keeping her mother from her. “Want.” A stamp of the left foot. “Mummy.” A stamp of the right.

It’s useless now to try and avoid a temper tantrum. Fitz sighs, puts down the shoe that he apparently can’t put on as well as Jemma. Now it’s time to be firm, but this isn’t usually his domain. Sarah doesn’t usually start the temper tantrums with him. He’s better at ending them.

“Sarah, please don’t stamp your feet.”

“No.”

Stamp.

“Sarah.”

Stamp.

“We won’t go to the park,” he warns, hoping against hope he won’t have to follow through. The park will tire her out, and hopefully this might be the night where she sleeps through.

“Don’t care,” she waves dismissively. “Want Mummy.”

“Oh yeah,” he mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. “So, do I.”

-x-

The next day, with five hours sleep under his belt and a child feeling much better, Fitz decides it’s time to try Jemma’s list of things she wants done.

“Well, Sarah,” he says, looking at the toddler currently trying to feed herself Rice Krispies. “It looks like we’re going shopping today.”

It all goes rather well to begin with. Sarah adores shopping; getting to sit in the child’s seat of the trolley is a personal delight of hers. A cheerful shop assistant gives her a balloon. All in all, the trip goes well.

Until they reach the last item on Jemma’s list.

“Shampoo?” Fitz scratches his head in front of the shampoo section of the childcare aisle. Jemma’s left a starred note next to this item, but Biscuit has obviously had a hold of the list at some point leaving the words distorted and illegible.

“It says something about this specific brand…” he hums, picking up the bottle from the shelf. “It’s not your usual one though.” Sarah just stares at him blankly, unconcerned with her haircare products.

Fitz squints at the list one more time, trying to decipher the words.

“Daddy, m’hungry,” Sarah pipes up.

“We’re almost done, okay? Just got to get this and then we’ll go get a snack.”

Reading the list again yields no further clarification. Shrugging, he puts the bottle in the trolley and steers it towards the checkout.

Really, what’s the worst it could do?

-x-

As it turns out, a lot.

When bath-time is over, and he is towel-drying Sarah’s curly baby hair, Fitz notices that in this light, her hair looks awfully pink.

He dismisses it, because the light in her bedroom isn’t the greatest and he’s running on five hours sleep and exhaustion is weighing heavily on his eyelids.

But then, in the much better lighting of the kitchen where she is having her glass of milk, he notices that her hair isn’t actually pink, and turning into more of a purple.

And his first thought is surely not. He didn’t cause this. Him not buying the usual shampoo they buy for her daughter hasn’t backfired on him and caused him to turn their daughter’s hair purple for what may or may not be permanent.

Fitz isn’t an incompetent father, and he is more than capable of parenting without Jemma in an immediate radius. This week just seems to have it in for him,

Let’s just ignore the fact that it’s only been twenty four hours.

Briefly, Fitz entertains the idea of not telling Jemma. It’s only a brief thought, a mere second, because he knows without a doubt that telling her might be uncomfortable, but her finding out that he dyed their two-year-old daughter’s hair purple in six days when she comes home will definitely be painful.

-x-

“The note said not to buy that shampoo, Fitz!”

Through the screen, the dimly lit hotel room isn’t enough to mask the shock and utter disbelief on Jemma’s face.

“It’s fine,” he holds his hands out placatingly, realising too late that she won’t be able to see them. “ I’ve already analysed the shampoo. Just a harmless little chemical reaction.”

“Her hair is purple!”

“Already contacted the company, they’re very sorry-”

“As they should be!”

“-and they’re going to send us a cheque.”

Jemma’s snort reverberates around their bedroom. “Yes, because a cheque will make it all better that their faulty shampoo dyed our daughter’s hair purple.”

“Sarah likes it,” he says, unthinkingly. Jemma gives him a cold look. “It’s true!” She does rather like her new hair and had stood and admired it for half an hour in front of the mirror before her bedtime. There’s going to be tears when he has to break it to her that it won’t last forever.

“Why did you even buy the shampoo in the first place? You know that isn’t the usual brand.”

Fitz pinches the bridge of his nose and screws his eyes shut. Sighs. “Biscuit got a hold of the list. I couldn’t see the note, thought maybe it said something about buying it.”

“Oh, Fitz…”

Jemma’s disappointment is almost worse than her anger. He’s so tired it feels as though he could sleep for the rest of the week.

“I just can’t get over that you have actually dyed our daughter’s hair purple,” Jemma mutters.

Well neither can he, really, but he feels a little defensive despite the guilt that’s been haunting him. It’s actually funny. Or it will be.

“Hey, I thought we agreed not to bring up each other’s parenting mishaps, hm?” He raises an eyebrow, watches as Jemma looks like he better not dare. “Remember when you gave her a box of raisins to eat by herself and she shoved some up her nose?”

Silence.

Then:

“But purple, Fitz?”

-x-

The next day Sarah’s hair is still purple, but it’s a little less vibrant and Fitz thanks the universe for the small mercies it grants.

It’s a nice summers day. They go to the park with Biscuit and get ice-lollies and sit on a bench by the water, throwing in seeds for the ducks.

With the rare sun on his face, and his daughter giggling at the antics of the ducks and the dog being so utterly afraid of the ducks that she hides underneath the bench, Fitz finally feels himself begin to unwind.

Maybe the worst is over, now.

But then Biscuit’s ears perk up, and she begins to make a strange noise that’s halfway between a growl and a bark.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Fitz comforts, reaching down his hand to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “There’s nothing here. It’s all fine.”

Fitz’s words are lost on the dog, who jumps out from underneath the bench and is out in front of it in no time. The lead unties itself from the arm of the bench and somehow, Biscuit ends up in the water, trying to chase a duck who is clearly the better swimmer.

Fitz stands dumbfounded, Sarah’s hand held tightly by his own. She strains at it, itching to follow her beloved pet.

“Ohhh, no you don’t,” he warns her. “Your mum would have an absolute fit.”

They’re quite laid-back parents, he thinks. ‘Free range’ if you will. But their daughter falling into a river to follow their dog who swims after a duck she was afraid of moments before might be pushing it a bit too far.

Fitz tries to call after the dog, to no avail.

“Want a hand?” An old woman asks, a smile on her face.

He rubs the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks flame from embarrassment. “Uh, yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

The woman pulls out a bag of dog treats from seemingly nowhere and calls out in time with Fitz. The dog just ignores them both.

He glances down at Sarah, bites his lip as he decides what to do. Can he trust his daughter with this stranger while he rescues their dog? He doesn’t really want to, but it’s either that or asking the old woman to jump in after Biscuit who is now being swept downstream by the current.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he curses under his breath.

“Sarah, stay right here,” he says hurriedly, looking her in the eye. “If she tries to move you, scream.”

His daughter nods solemnly.

Once Sarah is safely with this old woman who reminds him a lot of his mum, Fitz takes his phone and keys out of his pocket and dives into the river. It takes him only a minute or two to get the dog and to make it safely onto the banks of the river.

Sarah giggles at them as he carries Biscuit back over to the bench.

“Glad at least someone finds it funny,” he comments, putting Biscuit back onto her lead and making sure it’s secure.

“I’ll bet you didn’t think you’d be going for a wee swim the day, did you?” The old woman laughs, handing him back his daughter.

“I didn’t, no.” He smiles at her gratefully. “Thanks.”

“Och, it was no bother. You better be off home now and get dry. You don’t want a cold, especially in the Summer.” She walks off.

As if that’s the worst thing that could happen to him, a cold in Summer. He presses his eyes closed to will away images of losing his daughter and his dog to the water. Jemma isn’t going to believe this.

They begin to set off home, also. There’s been to many adventures for today. His shoes begin to squelch and e has to stop and pour out the water. Sarah giggles incessantly, chanting ‘daddy swim’ all the way home.

Well, at least someone is amused.

-x-

Almost.

Fits creeps forward, eyes fixed on the prize ahead.

Just a few more steps.

With his arm outstretched, he tries not to make any sudden movements.

I’ve got you now…

He makes a grab for the keys, but the dog sees it coming and dashes away through the house.

“Aw come on!” He yells exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose before calling out in a falsely cheery tone. “Who wants a treat?”

“Me!” Sarah pipes up, toddling into the kitchen.

“You’ve just had a snack,” Fitz reminds her.

She narrows her eyes and he waits for a tantrum which never comes. He sighs in relief.

“Biscuit!” He calls. “Treat!”

The dog reappears in the kitchen doorway, looking at Fitz to see if he’s lying about a treat.

“Keys?”

The keys clink as they dangle from Biscuit’s mouth. She cocks her head to the side as if to say what are you going to offer for them?

Fitz shakes his head and sighs, dropping his head momentarily. Out of desperation and a moment of insanity he goes to the fridge and throws it wide open.

“Have whatever you want,” he says to the dog, who drops the keys eagerly as she contemplates the sausages sitting on the shelf.

Sarah comes closer, looking hopeful as she looks up at her father. Fitz pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, go on then. You pick whatever you want as well.”

-x-

 “When are you coming home?”

Jemma looks tired through the screen, and he almost feels bad for asking her straightway but he’s desperate. This parenting thing is hard, which he knew, but it’s fun when it’s with Jemma. It’s something they can share. Sarah’s is theirs.

“You know when I’m coming home, Fitz.” She looks around her, as if to make sure she’s quite alone. “My family are driving me crazy.”

“Why’d you go down for the entire week? You could’ve just gone down for the wedding.”

“I’m beginning to wish I had. I don’t know, I suppose I just wanted to make up for all the other things I missed.”

It might feel like no time at all but the years they’d been away are glaringly obvious to their families, scooped out of their pasts like a cavern. Sometimes it’s hard to see it themselves, so used are they to distancing themselves from it.

“I know,” he tells her, voice soft. It’s late at night, the house is asleep and he probably should be, also. He can’t. It’s hard to sleep without Jemma next to him anymore. For the week Facetime will have to do but it is a poor substitute for his wife. “We’re doing alright.”

“I knew you’d be fine. I just don’t like being away from home.” She shrugs sadly. “It’s not an adventure anymore.”

They’ve gotten better, but back in the beginning they both used to refuse to leave the town unless they absolutely had to, unless it was a matter of absolute necessity. Sarah had come along and they were terrified to leave her, terrified that they’d turn away, look back, and it would all be a dream that would be snatched away. It had only lasted months, and the panic has ebbed, but the memory of it still weighs heavily in their minds.

“This is the mad house, Jemma,” he says, trying to make her smile. “Once you get back, you’ll be desperate to go back to Cornwall.”

It works. There’s a faint smile at the corner of her mouth. “Oh, you can count on it.”

But she fools nobody and it’s okay. They settle down to go to sleep, both their screens still on the other.

-x-

“Daddy!”

The scream is loud and bounces off all the walls in the house. Fitz is in the kitchen, chopping onions for dinner, when it lands on his chest and constricts it painfully. He drops the knife immediately, it clatters loudly on the side, and rushes out to the garden where, seconds ago, his daughter was playing quite the thing.

He finds Sarah lying splayed out on the stones in the impression of a starfish, wailing mournfully.

“What have you done?” He exclaims, though his heart starts to settle because he can see in an instant that she’s alright, really. There’s no lasting damage. “Aw, come here. Let me see.”

He scoops her up expertly, carrying her inside and settling her on his knee on the sofa. Her bottom lip juts out and big fat tears roll down her face, and he presses her close to him, dropping a kiss on her still-pink hair.

“You’re alright,” he tells her, his free hand gently running up and down her arms and legs, finding nothing except grazed knees and the beginnings of bruises. His soothing tone is also for his own benefit, and he finds his breathing comes easier once he confirms she’s alright. “You just got a fright, is all. You’re alright.”

“Daddy,” Sarah says again. “Sore.”

“I know, kiddo. I know. I’ll get you some ice, okay?”

“No!” She squirms when he tries to put her down and he sighs, staying in his original position.

“If you want me to get ice, I’ll have to put you down.”

Sarah shakes her head and buries her face in his t-shirt in response.

“Okay,” he relents, leaning back and putting his other arm around her. The grazes aren’t deep. A once-over with a wipe and a Peppa Pig plaster and Sarah will forget it even happened. He will take much longer.  “We can stay like this for a bit.”

They both end up dozing off, and when Fitz wakes up his daughter has her thumb in her mouth and is looking up at him wide-eyed, as if he were her favourite thing, and he swears it’s the best feeling in the whole world.

-x-

They have ice-cream for dinner.

Jemma’s not here to tell them otherwise and Fitz remembers his own mum doing something similar when he was younger. They sit at the table, Sarah in her highchair, Fitz next to her and the dog looking hopeful at their feet. Fitz has the tub, Sarah has her own bowl and spoon (he’s not a completely terrible parent – he measured out an appropriate amount) and they sit quite happily eating away, getting chocolate fudge brownie all over their faces.

“Daddy!” Sarah exclaims, raising her hands in the air with that glint in her eye and big grin on her face.

Too late Fitz realises what her intentions are, and he’s halfway through saying, “Don’t you even dare,” before she brings her sticky hands down on top of her head and begins to rub the chocolate mess into her pink curls.

“Sarah!”

Fitz can’t breathe for a moment and father and daughter just stare at each other, waiting to see who breaks first. It’s the toughest stalemate of his life and the whole world seems to fall still, the tension so thick it could be cut with a knife.

It’s Sarah who breaks first, beginning to convulse with laughter as though she finds herself the epitome of humour. Fitz can’t help but crack a smile, and soon he laughs, too. Deep belly laughter comes from both of them, full bodied and innocent, as the sight of a two-year old with chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream in her hair.

“You better not tell your mum about this,” he tells her, swiping tears from his eyes. “She’d murder me.”

Then he has another terrifying thought and the smile falls from his face as he contemplates his chocolate-covered daughter. “We forgot to get you new shampoo, didn’t we?” He looks at the clock. “And the shops are shut now, aren’t they?”

Ice-cream for dinner and ice-cream in her hair that’s very shortly about to be purple once again. He cradles his head in his hands.

“S’okay, daddy,” Sarah says thoughtfully, patting him on the arm with a sticky hand.

“Yeah.” He swipes at his face. “Yeah it is.”

It’s an experience, he tells himself, and it will probably be quite funny once he’s gotten through it. All the same, he gives her some strawberries for dessert, feeling like he has to make up for something at least.

-x-

“Oh, I can’t wait to be home tomorrow. Everything going alright?”

Fitz scratches his head. “Eh, yeah, yeah. Everything’s going great here. How was the wedding?”

Jemma pulls a face as she takes out her earrings. “Ugh. Rather like Cecelia herself, I suppose. Completely unpredictable and completely horrible at the same time. I feel bad for saying it, because she’s my cousin, but I shall be so glad to leave and come home.”

“And we’ll be glad to have you.”

“Fitz?” Jemma peers into the camera. “Is everything alright?”

Fitz looks from her face to the scene in front of him. Sarah holds the dog’s favourite blanket in one hand and the dog has Sarah’s favourite toy in her mouth and he swears they’re both glaring at each other. They stand in the middle of a chaotic mess of a broken lamp, a knocked over plant pot with soil all over the carpet, and the feathery contents of a cushion all around them. Fitz only turned his eyes for a minute, he’s sure it was no more than that, and what happened for his dog and his daughter to reach this stalemate he has no idea.

“Yup!” He says brightly, sure that his voice is at least two octaves higher. “Everything’s perfectly, perfectly fine!”

-x-

“No.”

“Your toys have to go back, Sarah. You can play with whatever you like but whatever you take out has to go back.”

“No.”

“Come on, kiddo. Help your dad out here, hm? Your mum will be back in a few hours. Don’t we want the house all nice and tidy for her?”

“No.”

“Sarah!”

-x-

“Oh, it’s so good to be home!”

Jemma bursts through the front door, dragging her suitcase behind her. Fitz has her in his arms immediately, kissing her passionately before pressing her tight to him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Everything alright?” She chuckles, but wraps her arms around him, too.

“Never leave me again,” he murmurs into her ear. “This is no fun without you.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Jemma murmurs back. “We’re a team.”

They share a smile, one of their intimate ones that betray years and years of connection that nothing could ever replace. Fitz is just about to get lost in her eyes when he hears their daughter and their dog patter into the hallway.

“Mummy!” Sarah squeals, and runs to Jemma’s legs, clutching them tightly.

“Hello, baby,” Jemma sighs with relief, bending down and swinging Sarah onto her hip, ruffling Biscuit’s head as she does so everybody is satisfied. She runs a hand over their daughter’s pink hair, trying to look disapproving but Fitz can see the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. “I see you’ve had fun with your father.”

“Yeah,” he says, wrapping his arms around Jemma again, completing the family circle. “We had fun.”

It’s been a hell of a week, he can’t deny it, and yet oddly, at the end of it all, he finds that it’s been one of the best of his life.  It feels like he’s gotten to know his daughter more, as young as she is. She’s one of the most stubborn people he’s ever met, yet also one of the funniest, and he has no doubt that she makes the world greater simply by being in it, that when she grows up she will change the world simply by being herself.

Once upon a time he thought his whole world was Jemma, and this week has confirmed what, really, he has known ever since his daughter was born. Sarah is his whole world, Jemma’s too, and he loves her more than he has ever loved anything, could ever love anything again. It might have been trying, it might have made him want to tear his hair out more than once, but he’d do everything all over again if it meant he got to this moment, right here, with his arms around his wife and their world tucked safely between them.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Fever Dreams

Switch AU

This turned out MUCH longer than I expected, hence why it’s a day late. But I had so much fun with this one, it’s actually amazing. Though I doubt the boys in the story have as much fun as I did. Marvin gets sick, which is a usual occurrence for him, but it’s worse this time. And we got some...hmm, angst. Luckily JJ’s there for him. I love these two, best friends. Enjoy, guys ^-^

More of this AU found here

The final bit of the rehearsal was coming up, and energy was running low. As it always was, nobody likes doing the same thing over and over, even if that thing was running through a magic show. Maybe especially if that was a magic show, where stress was running high to make sure every trick was going right.

“Alright, everyone, let’s take a ten-minute break,” Jameson called out, pulling off his mask and rubbing his forehead where the plastic had dug in. “When we get back we’ll do a test run with sound.”

Darla, the stage manager, nodded. “Alright, take a ten everyone!” she repeated. “Hey lighting! That includes you too!” Then she turned to JJ. “Hey speaking of lighting, you should ask your friend in the audience if it looks alright from the house.”

“Will do.” JJ spared a moment to scan the rows of seats, making sure he knew where Marvin was sitting. Sure enough, Marvin was smack dab in the middle of the seats. JJ waved at him before going backstage, finding the small stairwell that connected to the floor of the auditorium.

Marvin had somehow managed to find a small piece of plywood, probably from prop storage backstage, and set it across the arms of the chairs next to him to make a simple table. JJ slid into the seat next to him, the one that wasn’t covered by the plywood. “So, what do you think so far?” he asked. Then he glanced at the makeshift table surface. “...are you playing solitaire?”

“Techn’cally I’m playin’ Good Neighbors, but sometimes it’s called Monte Carlo Solitaire, so I can see the confusion,” Marvin said. “See, the cards are in a five-card square. Y’have to match two cards of the same value t’at are next to each other. Up-down, left-right, or diagonal. T’en you discard the pair, and fill in the square wit’ cards from the deck, movin’ left and up.” Marvin paused. “Oh I’m sorry, you asked me somet’ing before t’at. To answer, it looks to be goin’ smoothly.”

A smile teased the corner of JJ’s mouth, making his mustache twitch. “You brought your deck of cards to rehearsal?”

“Well, yes. What am I s’pposed to do when I don’ have anyt’ing to do?” Marvin swept the cards into a pile, patting them into a single deck, then finally looked over at JJ. “Did y’know t’at every time you shuffle a deck you likely create a brand-new combination of cards? Never before seen. Because t’ere are so many possibilities, odds are more in favor of you makin’ somet’ing new instead of anyt’ing else.” 

“Yes, I think I heard that somewhere. That’s fascinating,” JJ nodded. Marvin would do this sometimes, dump a bunch of information about something all at once. Normally JJ would listen to him for a while, but right now he had a point to make. He could ask him again later. “So Darla wanted me to ask you if the lighting looked alright. Does it?”

“I didn’ notice anyt’ing off, no.” Marvin looked over at the stage. “‘Twas very impressive, if you ask me. But t’ere’s a chance I’m easily impressed. Looks jus’ as magic as the actual wizardry.”

“Oh no, I’m no good at light magic. That’s why I have talented people doing it for me.” JJ smiled. “I’ll tell them you said that, though.”

Marvin flashed a grin, but it faded unusually quickly. He was absentmindedly playing with the deck of cards, taking ones from the back and putting them in front in a repetitive motion.

“Hey...” JJ cleared his throat. “Are you...alright?”

“Why wouldn’ I be?”

JJ shifted in the seat. “I don’t know. But...we never did talk about what happened last week—”

Marvin stiffened, and JJ instantly knew he’d gone too far. He could practically see him swinging the mental gates shut. “T’ere’s not much to talk about. T’ere was a demon. He came after us. I let slip to ev'ryone else t’at I was from the past. T’at’s all.”

“Alright,” JJ backed down. Maybe he could’ve handled that more delicately...clearly it was still a bit close to the surface for Marvin.

And why wouldn’t it be? That...creature—Distorter—somehow got in his head with only a few simple words, turning him against the others instantly. That was sure to unnerve anyone. And the conversation the next day hadn’t exactly helped. Having to tell Jackie, Schneep, and Anti the truth about where Marvin actually came from had been...awkward. Jackie seemed to accept it strangely easily, saying it explained a lot of things, but the other two had many, many questions, which simply couldn’t be answered.

How did you get here? “I don’ know.”

Was it magic? “I don’ know.”

Can you go back? “I don’ know.”

Because the simple truth was that Marvin had no memory of traveling through time at all. From his perspective, he was in 1928 one day, and then all of a sudden nearly ninety years had passed.

“If y’want advice,” Marvin suddenly said, bringing JJ back to the current moment, “I t’ink one of the spotlights might be slightly out of alignment, because it looked a little bit more left—stage left—t’an it was supposed to be. I don’ know if the lighting crew know t’at.”

“I’ll let them know,” JJ assured him.

“How much longer will t’is last?”

“It’s hard to tell.” JJ shrugged. “It’s supposed to end at seven, but we might go over.”

Marvin sighed. “Alrigh’, good to know. If t’at’s the case, I’m goin’ t’start playing a round of Pyramid.” He began shuffling the card deck.

JJ stood. “I’m going to get something from the vending machines, you want a snack?

“One of t’ose bubbly drinks? Not the brown sodas, the orange ones.”

“Got it. I’ll be back.”

———————

The rehearsal ended right on time, which was good, because when JJ and Marvin went to head out to the theatre parking lot, they found the sky was full of drifting white flakes.

“Oh it’s snowing!” JJ gasped, smiling wide. “It’s perfect weather for Christmas coming up.”

“Jems, it’s the middle of November,” Marvin mumbled, eyes tracking the falling clumps of flakes. “Y’cannae wait until the twelve days act’ally start? Or at least ‘til the first.”

“Oh, alright. But still, it’s snowing!” JJ clapped his hands. “Usually it’s just rainy in the winter. Can you blame me for getting excited?”

“I s’pose not.” Marvin wasn’t as excited. Snowing lead to snow on the ground, snow on the ground led to ice, ice led to slipping...he gripped the top of his cane tight.

As if picking up on his worry, JJ reached out and gently grabbed Marvin’s arm. “C’mon, let’s go. I parked a bit far away, we should hurry.” He sighed. “I knew we should’ve brought coats. Stupid incorrect forecast.”

Luckily nothing happened on the way to the car, except for getting snowed on. But it was once they arrived when the problems started. “...I did take the keys, right?” JJ asked, searching his pockets.

“Well how would we have gotten here if y’hadn’?” Marvin pointed out.

“I mean back outside. I put them in my pocket, right?” JJ turned around and looked back the way they came. “They didn’t fall out, did they?”

“If you’re sure they’re not in your pocket, they must’ve,” Marvin reasoned. “Unless you left them inside.”

“That’s a possibility,” JJ mumbled. He scrunched his face in thought. “Guess we’ll have to go back and look.”

“You go.” Marvin lightly jabbed JJ’s side with the end of his cane. “I already braved the slippery death hazard, once is enough.”

JJ frowned. “You sure? We can’t get in the car, so you’ll be standing out here...getting snowed on.”

“I’d rather t’at t’an fall. You go ahead, I’ll wait here.”

“You’re sure?”

Marvin sighed. “Yes. I’m sure. I apprec'ate your worry, but it’ll be fine.”

JJ still looked uncertain, but he nodded. “You have your phone? You can call me if anything happens?”

“Yes, I know how to use the call feature.” Marvin jabbed him again, but JJ narrowly dodged. “Now hurry. The sooner ye get t’is done with, the sooner we’ll be home.”

“Okay, okay.” JJ started heading back. “I’ll be right back, don’t worry!”

“I won’!” Marvin said.

Marvin knew there was no winning in this situation. He goes back across the parking lot, odds were he’d slip and might break something. He stays by the car, he’d probably catch a cold, or otherwise end up sick. So it was really a matter of choosing which one he’d rather deal with.

He slumped down the side of the car and sat directly on the parking lot asphalt, pressing his back against the tire. At least this way he didn’t have to keep walking.

There was a soft sound nearby, and Marvin’s head whipped in that direction, only to see a lump of snow falling from a nearby tree branch. He didn’t relax. What if something caused that, other than accumulating snow particles? He pulled his cane onto his lap and gripped it tight.

There had been a bunch of crew members at the rehearsal. If it was a person, it was probably just one of them. Yet Marvin couldn’t keep his eyes from darting around, looking for a smile, a hint of bloody tears...

By the time Jameson got back, he was shivering from more than just the cold.

———————

The next day, JJ wandered downstairs sometime around noon, and found Marvin sitting at the dining room table, still in his pajamas. An unusual sight to begin with, as Marvin wasn’t one to wear sleepwear for anything other than...well, sleeping. It was made even odder by the fact that Marvin looked like he just woke up. At noon. When the latest he usually slept was ten.

JJ stalled, standing in the doorway. “Um. Hi Marv.”

“H’llo,” Marvin mumbled. He blinked slowly. “I put the kettle on, hope y’don’ mind. Didn’...need it or anyt’in’.”

“No, I don’t usually make tea at lunchtime. And...neither do you.”

“I know...it’s jus’...cold.” Marvin yawned. “Used the last of the white tea, too, hope y’don’...mind.”

It actually wasn’t particularly cold. JJ had made sure to turn up the heat when he got up that morning, to counteract the chill brought by the snow. He approached Marvin, reaching out his hand. “May I—oh!” Marvin suddenly leaned his head forward until his forehead had fallen into JJ’s outstretched palm. JJ hissed, concern etched on his face. “Marvin, you’re burning up.”

“Yea...I figured.” Marvin closed his eyes. “Mh...your hands are cold. They always seem it, is t’at part of the...the ice? Ice and water.”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.” JJ slowly withdrew his hand. Marvin’s head tilted a bit when the support was removed. “Marvin...besides being cold, do you feel off in any other way?”

“Mm...’m a bit dizzy,” Marvin admitted. “An’ me legs hurt, which is odd...us’ally they’re jus’...tired, and don’ work proper.” His eyelids fluttered. “Hurts t’look around, too.”

JJ bit back a curse. “Marvin, you should go back to bed.”

“No, ‘m fine. I slept late enough.” Now, normally at this point, Marvin would try to stand up and walk away, to prove how not-sick he was. JJ knew this, it had happened often enough. But Marvin didn’t even attempt to move. And that was a bad sign.

“Marvin, I think this is serious,” JJ said, his voice grave. “How did you manage to make tea?”

“Same way I always do,” Marvin shrugged. “I fed Mister, too. Might’ve spilled the cat food, though.”

“Just—just go back to bed, okay? Please? I can bring you the tea later.”

Marvin looked up at JJ, then nodded. “Alrigh’, since you’re so worried.” He grabbed his cane, and after a moment got to his feet, though he was swaying. JJ wanted to help, but he knew that wouldn’t end well. Marvin would just insist he could do it anyway. At least they’d moved his bedroom to the first floor, so there were no stairs to worry about. “What’re you goin’ t’do? Did ye come in here to...I dunnae, make food, probably.”

He’d actually planned on making a quick lunch before going back upstairs to continue studying the spell he was working on, but those plans had gone out the window. “I’m going to just—just check on things in here, and then I’m going to call Jackie,” JJ explained. “Then I’ll meet you in there, okay?”

“Alrigh’.”

JJ watched Marvin make his way down the hall, leaning heavily on the wall. Once he was sure he was in his room, JJ examined the kitchen and dining room. The kettle was on the stove, but the stove actually wasn’t on, and there was a puddle of water on the counter. The cupboard where they kept the food for the cat was wide open, the bag tipped over. Judging by the state of it, Mr. Fluffington had a great day with that. JJ cleaned up the messes, turned the stove on, and then called Jackie. He was probably at work, but JJ would prefer to bring symptoms to a doctor instead of the Internet.

After four rings, the call was picked up. “What’s up, Jays?” Jackie asked by way of greeting.

“Marvin’s sick again,” JJ got straight to the point. “I...I think it’s bad.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well, he didn’t protest too much when I told him to go back to bed.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly.”

“What’re the symptoms? How’s he feeling? Anything happen recently that might have caused something?”

JJ relayed what Marvin told him, as well as the high temperature. “I think...last night, after rehearsal, we walked out to the car but I forgot my keys, and he insisted he’d rather wait outside instead of walking across the parking lot again. It was snowing.”

“How long was it before you got back?”

“I don’t know...thirty, forty minutes?” JJ squirmed. He couldn’t believe he’d left him out there for that long.

“Okay, hopefully it’s just a fever,” Jackie surmised. “But keep an eye on him, in case it turns out to be something worse. Also, can you take his temperature?”

“Yes, just give me a minute, I need to find the thermometer.”

A few minutes later, JJ walked into Marvin’s room with the first aid kit they kept in the bathroom. Marvin was lying on the bed under the comforter. His hand was flung out, resting on an open book on the nightstand, but he was staring up at the ceiling, not even attempting to read. The cat, Mr. Fluffington, was in there too, curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed.

“Hey Marvin,” JJ said. “Jackie told me to take your temperature.”

Marvin didn’t look at him. “How d’you do that?”

“Ah, I just need to put this under your tongue.” JJ held up the thermometer.

“Alrigh’.” Marvin pushed himself into a sitting position. “Let’s do t’is fast.”

The minute the temperature taking was don, Marvin lied back down and closed his eyes. JJ bit his lip, concerned. Marvin’s skin was a lot more flushed than it had been when he last saw him. He picked up the phone again; thankfully Jackie hadn’t hung up. “Okay, I got it.”

“So? What’s the temperature?” Jackie prompted.

“Ah...” JJ squinted at the digital readout. “Forty point three degrees.”

“I’m sorry, what?!”

JJ had to hold the phone away from his ear. “40.3. Guess that would round down to 40? Is that bad?”

“You need to get him to the hospital.” Jackie’s tone was one JJ had never heard before; there was an absolute, no-nonsense bite to his flat statement.

“What? We can’t—is it really that...? I know your body temperature is supposed to be 37 degrees, it’s only a little bit higher.”

“When it’s the inside of your body, full of sensitive organs and shit, a few degrees means a lot!” Jackie hissed. “40 degrees is a high-grade fever, and yeah, that’s bad. In fact, that’s the higher end of that grade, any higher and it’s an emergency. If this is just the first day, then it could easily rise to that emergency state. You need to get him attention.”

JJ lowered the phone for a moment. “Hey, ah, Marvin?”

“Hm?” Marvin opened one eye and looked at him.

“Jackie says you should go to the hospital.”

Marvin suddenly shot up, then swayed and pressed a hand to his head. “No, we can’t!”

“I know, it’s going to suck, but this—”

“Jems, they’re goin’ t’ask for records,” Marvin interrupted, eyes wide. “They’re goin t’ask for...for medical...they’re going to know somet’in’s wrong. I don’ have a birth cert’ficate, how can I have t’ings like t’at?”

JJ stared at him, then raised the phone again. “Hey Jackie, is the hospital going to ask for medical records?”

“I mean, yes, we’ll need them to—oh. Oh.” Jackie paused. “Normally I wouldn’t encourage forgery, but—”

“I don’t think we have time for that, to be honest,” JJ said. “Maybe for the next time, but for now? I mean, we can try to get things ready for in case this goes downhill, but not today, or probably even tomorrow. And I can’t magic things like that up, so don’t ask.”

“Shit.” There was a long silence on Jackie’s end, then a deep breath. “Okay, if it’s going to be like this, you can keep him home. But you need to stay with him. If you have any ibuprofen, have him take two or three tablets. Have him drink lots of water, maybe get a fan or something. And for god’s sake, get him out of those long-sleeve shirts he likes, it’ll only make everything worse.”

“I can do that,” JJ said, nodding as he mentally took notes.

“Great. I can drop by tomorrow, or the day after, worst-case scenario. Just check on things in person.”

“Got it.”

“I’ll see you then, then. Bye.”

JJ ended the call, looking back over at Marvin, who was once again lying down. “So, you definitely need to stay in bed. This is...serious. You’re not dying or anything,” JJ hurried to add when he saw Marvin’s eyes widen. “It’s just...bad. I’m going to stay home, if you need anything.”

Marvin frowned. “Don’ y'have anot’er rehearsal in a few days?”

“I can cancel it.”

“Y’don’ have to.”

“I want to,” JJ said firmly. 

Marvin stared at him, not saying anything for a moment. Then he nodded. “Thank you, Jems.”

“It’s no problem,” JJ assured him. “Now get some rest. I’m going to go see what we can do to make this easier for you.”

Marvin mumbled something, then closed his eyes.

JJ exhaled quietly. He could manage this. And hopefully, Marvin wouldn’t get any worse. It was already bad enough as it was.

———————

Marvin couldn’t get to sleep that night. Part of him wanted to blame that on staying in bed all day, but despite that, he felt the heavy weight of dreamland pulling at his eyes. He probably would’ve fallen asleep under normal circumstances. But these weren’t normal circumstances.

Despite having chills lasting the whole day, distracting to the point where he could hardly concentrate on his book, Marvin now felt like he was inside a lit furnace. Even though JJ had brought in an electric fan and forced Marvin to exchange his dress shirt for one of his T-shirts, Marvin couldn’t find a space or position where it felt any remotely cooler. And not for lack of trying. He kept tossing and turning, wrapping his sheets around his legs. At some point he must’ve kicked off his comforter, but he didn’t remember doing that.

He opened his eyes, looking at the handy digital clock on the nightstand. The glowing numbers wavered, shimmering like a mirage before he finally latched onto a one, a zero, and a three. Oh, was it ten-thirty already? Shouldn’t he be getting up? Why was it so dark?

The lumps and shapes in the darkness of the room didn’t look familiar at all. There was a person there, Marvin thought. “Stop starin’ at me,” he mumbled, turning his head to the other side of the room. 

The doorway loomed large. It was coming closer. It was going to swallow him! Marvin scooted backwards, and then suddenly fell a few feet to the floor. He blinked, looking around the darkness.

It was raining. The water was pouring down from the sky, landing on him. Marvin scowled at the sky. He shouldn’t have left the house without his hat at this time of year. Now his hair was going to get wet. But that should really be the last of his concerns at this moment. He didn’t recognize the street at all. Or he did, it almost looked familiar, the shapes of some of the buildings, but it looked...transformed.

“Are you lost?”

Marvin looked around for the source of the voice.

“You look lost.”

There was a man on the street. What did he look like? Marvin couldn’t tell. But he was wearing odd clothes; Marvin had never seen that type of hat before.

“‘m fine,” Marvin said.

“No you’re not.”

His head felt full of soup. Thoughts were swirling about like someone was stirring thick broth. Why was he so hot? He was sweating, hair sticking to his forehead. No, that was the rain. It was raining.

“Come here.” The man grabbed his hand. “I’ll take you somewhere safe.”

Marvin shook his head, mumbling a protest. He...didn’t he have to be somewhere? Wasn’t he going to an audition? How did he get here, to this strange street? At night too, when it had been daytime just a few minutes before?

The man turned to smile at him, flashing a smile. No, he’d always been smiling. Little alarm bells went off in Marvin’s mind. “’m fine,” Marvin insisted. He tried to pull his hand free, but the man had it in a tight grip. That only made Marvin try all the harder to get it away.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay. Just follow me.” What did his voice sound like? How come he couldn’t figure out what it sounded like? Something was wrong.

“No, I-I need to...to...” Thoughts were fuzzy, starting to blur. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He was in a different street now, why was he here? It was even darker, how much time had passed? What was happening?

Something hit Marvin’s face.

“...wh?” Marvin opened his eyes. And at that moment, he realized he closed them at some point. Weak early morning light was filtering through the curtains, he was lying on the floor, and his cat was on his chest. Mr. Fluffington blinked at him, then bumped his face against Marvin’s cheek. He must’ve done that earlier, too, which was what got Marvin’s attention and woke him up.

Marvin groaned. “I...fell asleep...I t’ink.” He didn’t remember it happening. And not in the way you never remember the moment when you drifted off, but there really hadn’t been a difference between the waking world and...whatever just happened. It felt like he was awake. And he still felt just as tired. But then he had that dream...

“...must’ve been a dream,” Marvin said, absentmindedly scratching Mr. Fluffington behind the ears. But...it had felt like more than that. It had felt...familiar. What was the word? Deja vu? Yes, exactly. Like reliving a memory he’d forgotten.

Mr. Fluffington purred, then sank down into a loaf position, closing his eyes and resting his head against Marvin’s neck. Marvin sighed. “Y’couldn’ have waited until I got back ‘nto bed?” Of course, Fluffington didn’t answer, but he settled into place almost as if showing how much he refused to move. Marvin sighed. “Alrigh’...guess I’m stuck.” He looked around. The nightstand was right by his arm, if he could just...reach up and...

His hand clumsily felt around the surface until he hit something, knocking it down to the floor. His phone. Marvin picked it up, unlocked it one-handedly, and dialed JJ’s number.

It rang forever before it was picked up. “Marvin? D’you need something?”

“I don’ know. Mister is on me.” Marvin pet the cat’s head while he talked. “I can’ move, but it’s...uncomfort’ble.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Not’ing. Just letting you know so y’don’ t’ink it’s odd when you come t’check later an’ I’m still here.” 

A long silence. “Marvin, where are you?” JJ asked, sounding like he didn’t want to know the answer.

“On the floor.”

JJ sighed so loudly that it could be heard through the speakers without much interference. “I’m coming down there.”

“T’at’s fair.”

———————

Jackie dropped by the house around two-thirty, bringing a surprise second guest with him. He knocked on Marvin’s door, waiting for a vague approval before opening it and coming inside. “Hey, Marv!” Jackie smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“Exactly how you t’ink I ‘m.” Marvin opened his eyes, looking over at the other two. He raised an eyebrow when he saw who else came. “H’llo Anti, didn’ expect you here.”

“Yeah, well.” Anti folded his arms, leaning against the nearest wall. “Jackie was giving me a ride to a thing, and this was on the way, so I figured why not come inside where it’s warm? How you doing, man?”

A grin flitted across Marvin’s face. “What kind o’ t’ing?”

“A...Internet thing,” Anti said haltingly. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Sure.” Marvin covered his eyes with his arm, but kept smiling. “Tell me what ever ye want.”

Anti glared, but didn’t say anything. Meanwhile, Jackie pulled a chair from the corner of the room over to the bedside, sitting down. “Jays gave me your first aid kit—he’s waiting outside, by the way, I think he was nervous about coming in—so I’m just going to take your temperature again.”

“Mhm,” Marvin mumbled. God, it was hot in here. He reached over and turned up the speed of the electric fan on the nightstand.

“Just say ‘ahh’.” Jackie paused. “I didn’t mean to say that, I’m working on autopilot here, I’m used to doing this with kids.”

Marvin chuckled. “Y’can say what ever y’want as sure as y’get it done with.”

Afterward, Jackie examined the reading on the thermometer. His brows drew together, and he grimaced. “So. It’s not going down.”

“Alrigh’.”

“Do you feel any worse than you did yesterday?”

Marvin shrugged as best he could. “Didn’ sleep well last night. But I did fall ‘sleep t’is morning so...t’at. A little bit o’ a headache.”

Jackie bit his lip. “Okay. Are you feeling tired? Or fatigued? You remember the fatigue scale I gave you last month? Can you tell me how you feel based on that?”

Marvin closed his eyes, picturing the chart Jackie had shown him in his mind. “Eight?” he guessed.

“That’s a high number,” Anti remarked. “Why do I get the feeling it would’ve been higher if you were being honest?”

Jackie sighed. “Anti, for god’s sake—”

“Hey, where are your kids?” Marvin suddenly asked. “I jus’ rememb’red them. Aren’ you two s’pposed to be...wit’ them?”

“I’m going to pick up Michelle soon,” Jackie explained. “Rama would’ve done it, but we only have one car and I was already out.”

“Will takes the bus home, I usually just meet him at the stop,” Anti said.

“C’n I ask what h’ppened to your...partner?” That was the appropriate term people used in this modern time, right? “Jus’...’cause otherwise she could...do t’at.”

“Oh. Uh, there never was one,” Anti said. For once, he looked uncomfortable. “ I, uh, don’t like girls that way. Or guys. Or anyone.”

Marvin looked at him, wide-eyed. “T’at’s allowed?!”

“I mean, they’re not going to murder you if you don’t get married.”

“Huh.” Marvin covered his eyes again. “I didn’ know feeling t’at way was possible. T’at’s great, t’at is. T’ings are always changin’.”

“Okay, uh, anyway,” Jackie interrupted. “Anything else of note happen this morning? Or yesterday, last night, y’know.”

Marvin hesitated. “Had a weird dream.”

“Really? Why was it weirder than any other dream?”

“Well, it...” Marvin struggled to find the words. “...didn’...start. I didn’ fall asleep an’ it happened, it jus’...was, all of a sudden. I t’ought it was real. Realer t’an...you us’ally t’ink dreams are. Real life.”

“...oh.” Jackie’s eyes were wide, and he nodded quickly. “Okay, that’s—that’s good to know.”

“Y’goin’ t’stick aroun’?” Marvin asked. “‘m bored...Jems has stuff to do, don’ wan’ t’distract him too much. I’d like...people. Wh’abou’ Hen? Where’s he?”

“Well, I said I have to pick up Michelle, and Volt’s at work,” Jackie said softly.

“I would stay, but, y’know. There’s a nine-year-old kid I have to watch,” Anti shrugged.

“T’anks anyway,” Marvin mumbled. He closed his eyes, still hidden. He was tired...how was he so tired when he’d slept for so much of the morning?

“Well, I can see if I can drop by later,” Jackie said, trying to sound cheerful. “But we have to go now.”

“Have fun,” Marvin said. Then he wondered why he said that.

“Yeah, sure.”

Jackie and Anti left the room, almost running into JJ, who’d been pacing the hallway. “So?” JJ said, folding his arms. “Is it—is he—?”

“Y’know, I think we should get started on forging those papers,” Jackie said.

“...it’s worse, isn’t it?” JJ asked, voice full of dread.

“Well, his temperature’s even higher,” Jackie admitted. “And I...think he might’ve...maybe...had a hallucination last night.”

“What?!”

“I mean, I don’t know, but from what he told me, maybe?” Jackie winced. “So, yeah, we need those records soon, in case it gets to an emergency state.”

“I can do that,” Anti suggested.

“Of course you can, hacker-man.”

“Is there anything I can do?” JJ asked. He was chewing on his fingernails.

“You’re doing good already,” Jackie assured him. “Just...just keep checking on him. Maybe get a damp cloth and put it on his head, that could help him feel a little better.”

“I did that yesterday, I can do it again.”

“Good.” Jackie turned to Anti. “You’re serious about those forgeries?”

“Course I am.”

“Then you should get started. Just in case.”

As Jackie and Anti headed to leave, JJ called out, “Hey...what’ll happen if it gets worse?”

Jackie hesitated. “We’ll make sure it doesn’t get to that point.”

———————

Why was it so hot?

It really shouldn’t be this hot, it was getting close to winter. Marvin would’ve sat up and put his face directly in front of the electric fan, if he thought he would’ve been able to hold himself up for long enough.

JJ had come into the room at some point, but Marvin hadn’t noticed. He was just there, all of a sudden. He’d brought a sandwich and drink, but Marvin wasn’t hungry.

“‘s not fair,” Marvin mumbled. “Y’have magic healing t’ings. Can’ you do somet’in’ ‘bout t’is?”

“Well, healing is a bit more complicated than just waving a wand and having everything suddenly be cured,” JJ said patiently. “Most healing spells are directed towards wounds, not diseases. The ones that are are...super complicated. I’ve been looking into them, but they’re a bit above my level. Not to mention, you’d need to know exactly what was wrong, and I’m no doctor. There are spells that can help clear your head or give you a burst of energy, true, but right now you need rest, not energy. Otherwise you’d just, I dunno, try to run an errand or something.”

Marvin made a face at him, but didn’t deny it. “Wh’abou’ potions? I’d drink a potion.”

“Those are a different thing entirely,” JJ said, sighing. “They could help, but...oh, it’s complicated. Magic is complicated. I didn’t sign up for this. Anyway, you’re basically asking a biologist to do rocket science. It might happen, but they’d have to do extensive studying.”

“Hngh,” Marvin groaned. “If I had magic, I’d fix...”

“Fix what?”

“I dunnae. T’is.” Marvin waved his hand vaguely.

“I see.” JJ nudged the plate he’d put on the nightstand a little closer to Marvin. “You should really eat something.”

Marvin didn’t answer. He was staring at the ceiling. “We’re underwater.”

“I—what?”

“Up t’ere. The sky.” He pointed upward. “The bones are swimming.”

Well that wasn’t ominous at all. “Marvin,” JJ said slowly, “there aren’t any bones.”

“No, of course not. T’ose are under the floor.” Marvin blinked. “What d’you do when they stop bein’ useful? Y’make them stay until the’re just bones. T’en ye throw them away when t’ere’s no more room.”

“Marvin, I think you should go to sleep,” JJ said cautiously. “That, or eat something. Actually, eat, and then go to bed. You didn’t have breakfast, you slept through it.” He should also think about giving him some more medicine. Maybe they had some extra-strength Tylenol or something. He didn’t really want to leave Marvin to go get some if they didn’t; he’d have to call someone about that.

“Mmm, fine, I’ll eat...somet’in’.” Despite saying this, Marvin rolled over and immediately fell asleep. 

JJ sighed, then reached over and brushed Marvin’s hair out of his face. The strands were sticky with sweat, and his skin felt like brushing against a radiator. Out of curiosity, JJ pressed his fingers to Marvin’s neck, and felt a rapid pulse beneath the skin.

He would wait for him to wake up. And he’d watch...for anything.

———————

The next few hours passed in a dizzy, wavering blur. Marvin was vaguely aware of tossing and turning, of having JJ make him drink a glass of water with pills at one point. But those moments were hazy around the edges. He almost laughed, remembering this all happened because he didn’t want to walk back inside. But then he wondered why he thought that. He was already inside. He must’ve gone back inside.

It was dark in here. It was nighttime. The stars above were shining bright. He reached out and grabbed one, but let go when it burned his hand. That made the stars flee, and now there was a single lightbulb overhead. Flickering. Flickering. A moth with shining wings, fluttering a signal that he couldn’t understand.

He rolled over, finding something wrapped around his waist. He turned over again to unwrap it, but something else grabbed his arms. What—no! No, it couldn’t—he flailed suddenly. He wouldn’t be kept here, he wouldn’t! You couldn’t keep him here like this!

His eyes flicked across the dark room. Shapes, shapes, unfamiliar yet familiar shapes. Where was he? He knew he was here, standing and watching with that smug, constant grin. He could hear him laughing at his struggles. “Leave me alone,” Marvin mumbled, unable to stop a sob from creeping in. “Leave me alone, ‘m not—’m not your...please.”

Just more laughter. Chills suddenly shivered across his body. Something was touching him—no, someone. Marvin cried out, falling backwards in shock, and he was surprised to fall a few feet onto a hard surface. No, he had to leave, he had to get out of here! His head was swimming, fuzzy, blanking out, but he managed to stand up and start walking to the door. Leave the room, then find the trapdoor, he could do it. He had to get out of here.

Then someone grabbed him again. “No!” Marvin cried. It was him, it had to be, he couldn’t let him catch him. He tried to shrug him off, but just ended up shaking uselessly, too tired to do anything more. Liquid was dripping from his eyes—tears or more blood?

The someone set him down again, and Marvin immediately tried to roll off again, only to be pushed back. Suddenly, a blue light bloomed before his eyes. He cried out, burrowing his face in the pillow. He didn’t know what that was, but it couldn’t be good. It never was, in this place.

The basement room was flooded with light, and Marvin could’ve seen him, if he wanted to. But he looked away. “Don’...don’ do...don’...please,” he muttered. “Anyt’in’, jus’...I won’ hurt...don’ make me...hurt...”

Someone was saying words, but he didn’t listen. He didn’t want to hear those words, that phrase.

He couldn’t tell how much time passed before the someone picked him up. He tried to fight against it, but his struggles were barely noticeable. He couldn’t keep his eyes open.

Then, all of a sudden, it was cold.

Then, all of a sudden, he was sitting, staring out a pane of glass at surroundings moving much faster than they should’ve been able to.

Then, all of a sudden, the world was white, and filled with chatter.

Then he was asleep.

———————

“Go home, dude.”

“I-I can’t do that, I need to—”

“Jesus christ, Jackson, you look awful. Go home. Go to sleep. I’m sure Marvin would appreciate you staying this long.”

“But what if something happens?”

“Jackie trusts these people, that means they’re capable. Jackie himself is on call if we need him. I got all the documents made up, and trust me when I say they’re perfect copies. Go take care of yourself.”

Marvin opened his eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. This room was white, very clean-looking. He was lying in a bed that he didn’t recognize the feel of. When he turned his head to the side, he saw Anti, standing, and JJ, sitting in an uncomfortable-looking plastic chair by the bedside. The two of them seemed to be talking, and JJ had big, dark circles under his eyes. “Y’look tired,” Marvin said quietly.

JJ jumped, immediately spinning around. He smiled wide. “Marvin! You’re awake, thank god. How are you? How do you feel?”

“...confused.” Marvin looked around again. There was a pole with a plastic bag, and the bag had a tube leading into this arm. “Where’m I?”

“The hospital.” JJ swallowed. “It’s the morning of the seventeenth. You were...you were acting...last night, it...I was worried.”

“You are so lucky I finished making your forgeries last night, too,” Anti muttered.

JJ glared at him. “Maybe don’t mention that in earshot of the doctors.”

“The door’s closed, it’s fine.”

“How w’s I actin’ las’ night?” Marvin asked, picking up on one thing from JJ’s stammered statement.

JJ looked down, playing with his hands in his lap. “I think...you thought you were in danger or something. You kept...you thought I would hurt you or something. And you kept trying to get away. And saying...concerning things.” JJ swallowed. “You may have been hallucinating.”

Suddenly, things were starting to make a lot more sense. “...memory,” Marvin said.

“Excuse me?”

“I t’ink...I-I t’ink I was, but...it wasn’ somet’ing new, i-it was...based on somet’ing t’at happened.” Marvin covered his mouth with his hand. His eyes were tearing up, spilling over.

“Hey.” JJ leaned forward, reaching out. “It’s alright, now. You’re—”

“You’re goin’ t’say ‘safe’ aren’ you?” Marvin asked. He shook his head. “No, no, you’re wrong. I-I-I don’—I don’ know how I’m here, I don’ know why I’m here, and t’at thing is in my head. I-I know him. It. Which ever. It did somet’ing to me, and I-I-I’m—”

“You’re safe,” JJ insisted. He gently laid a hand on Marvin’s arm, but Marvin flinched and he withdrew it, settling for scooting closer. “Marvin, you’re okay. We’re going to be here for you. And if the Distorter comes, I will personally make sure he doesn’t lay a hand on you.”

Marvin looked over at him, then glanced away again. “What if...I-I hurt you? What if he makes me...?”

“Then I’ll get you out of there. I’ll find some spell to block his influence. In fact, I’ll start looking today.” JJ’s voice became softer. “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, and neither will he.”

Marvin felt like crying again, though for a different reason. “I love you, Jems. You’re a good friend.”

“Love you, too. And you’re a good friend as well, don’t sell yourself short.” JJ smiled, then gave his mustache a wiggle.

Marvin laughed a bit, wiping at his eyes. He looked around the room. “So...how long will I be stuck here?”

“I’m not sure,” JJ admitted. “Until the fever breaks, I suppose. How are you feeling about that, by the way?”

“A...mite better, but not too much,” Marvin sighed. “M’brain is mushed potatoes.”

Anti suddenly cleared his throat, reminding the other two he was in the room. “I’m going to go ask the doctor how long you’ll be here. I’ll be back.” And he opened the door and left.

JJ raised an eyebrow. “I think we made him uncomfortable.”

“I should’ve said t’ank you for making the records,” Marvin said.

“You can tell him when he gets back.”

“Mmm...dunnae if t’at’ll happen.” Marvin blinked slowly. “Y’see...while we’ve been talkin’, my brain decided to pass out again.”

“Alright, go to sleep, then. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Marvin leaned back against his pillows. “Y’shoul’ go back home at some point. Feed Mister.”

JJ smiled. “I’ll feed our esteemed cat, don’t worry.”

“Our? Excuse me, you gave him t’me.”

“I paid for all his stuff, so I get joint custody.”

Marvin would’ve rolled his eyes if he had the energy. He buried his face in the pillow instead. “Mm...Jems, when I wake up...we need t'talk about what happened last week. Or...two weeks ‘go.”

JJ’s eyes widened, but he nodded. “Of course. If you’re ready for that.”

Marvin gave him a small smile, and closed his eyes once again. There was a warmth in his chest, and not from the fever. This was from something much nicer. Much more comforting. It was...a lovely feeling.

[metalchick19-blog]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #10 - Patrick Hockstetter

Request: Hi! I’d like to request a ship post for Patrick( mostly cause I’m a guy and he doesn’t care) I’m 5’6, short blond hair, blue eyes. I wear aviator glasses and I dress mostly in pastels. I’m very friendly and charismatic goody two shoes at first and then when you get to know me I’m a massive trash mouth that never fucking shuts up. I’m super impulsive, and just a stubborn dumbass all round. I make no bones telling people how I feel or getting In fights. I fear nothing physical, only ghosts.

You started off as just another one of the many guys that Patrick fucks around with

Hockstetter legitimately has the longest list of male booty calls ever compiled (i.e. he’s a playboy, regardless of gender), and you were just floating around in that vast sea of meaningless sex for the first few months of knowing him

... Which changed the second he keyed in to your double-sided nature 

Patrick had already planned on taking things farther with you than with most other guys (because he was insanely turned on by your straight-laced, “good boy” image)...

... but officially decided he needed to own you the second he saw you drop that charismatic shit and get angry with someone 

* Partly because your impulsive hot-headedness reminded him of Henry, but we’ll sweep that little tibit under the rug *

Essentially just loved the fact that you were ready to throw down at the drop of a hat (meaning you’re crazy as shit on the inside) even though you come off as someone who’s easy to dominate initially 

Basically became Hockstetter’s new goal in life to see how long it would take him to “break” that strong-willed side of you, and make you just as obedient as the “good little girls” he dates 

In other words, he wants to annihilate your strength of spirit and alpha/omega the shit out of you 

Have fun with that fucked up relationship dynamic 

Makes fun of how you dress 24/7

Could not be avoided 

You’ve literally heard every prep joke in the book within the first 2 months of your relationship, and I can assure you they’ll never stop (”What’s the matter, guy - daddy take the keys to your favorite Lincoln last night?” *Highly judgmental Hockstetter cackle*)

Tries to introduce weird pet names for you on a regular basis (he’s called you “cum dumpster,” “right hand,” and “lady killer” completely out of the blue), but you veto most of them after the first time you hear them

Which is good, because it would be kind of horrifying to hear him call a person “cum dumpster” more than once, and he only thought up “lady killer” to get on your nerves 

Calls you “handsome” sometimes when he’s trying to be manipulative, but, for the most part, just sticks with your name now because you’re not about the Hockstetter brand of creativity (though “right hand” keeps reappearing no matter how many times you say stop)

Sits next to you whenever you have a class together and gives you hand-jobs under the desk (during movies, lectures, etc.)

Sometimes makes sure you get called on right as you’re about to cum so he can watch you suffer as you try to answer a question mid-orgasm (*cue ultra-satisfied Hockstetter grin*)

Always the top in bed

Always. 

Patrick has never bottomed, and never will, regardless of the guy he’s with - just be aware.

Not even willing to do it once, because, in his mind, it’s your job to moan and writhe around on a dick - not his

I.e. Hockstetter will always be in the power position. Asking him to do anything other than that is pointless, and will earn you nothing but a particularly mean-spirited laugh designed to make you feel stupid for asking 

... And while we’re discussing the power position...

... the day you start a relationship with Patrick is the day you stop being able to sit down comfortably.

Yeah. It’s that good.

Never takes you around the guys, because even though all of them have an unspoken understanding that Patrick is “sexually fluid,” the understanding is unspoken for a reason

Meaning that Henry can only ignore the fact that Patrick is into guys as long as he doesn’t make it obvious

If he does (i.e. by actually bringing you/any of the dudes he’s fucking with around the guys), he’ll be ejected from the gang immediately (because homophobia + tough guy image + general dick behavior) 

This doesn’t come up a lot as a problem though, because you’ve seen the way Henry loses it on gay guys (aka: guys Henry thinks are gay, who are probably not actually gay)

It’s just common sense that, when it comes to the gang, you’re safer at a distance

Patrick accentuates your height difference often by setting his drinks on your head, putting his elbow on your head and leaning on you, etc.

Mostly just because he knows it bugs you, and legit gets a hard-on whenever you start to get mad (hence why you always fuck after fights) 

* Warning - some descriptions of violence ahead *

Because you don’t have a problem confronting people when it suits you (and because Hockstetter is a level-10 dick), you and Patrick get into physical fights often - some of which escalate into pretty extreme territory 

Patrick either actively enjoys himself the entire time you guys go at it (i.e. laughing and provoking you with extra asshole comments), or goes dead serious the moment the first punch gets thrown - no middle ground 

Totally depends on the context of the situation 

Typically starts out fairly even either way (Hockstetter has a height advantage, but he’s a twig, so you have weight on your side) until Patrick does something so batshit crazy there’s no way you could’ve defended yourself against it

To put it bluntly, these are the moments when it feels like Patrick might actually kill you (aka: “maximum peaks of insanity”)

Example: Once, after you’d just forced Patrick off of you (effectively sending him hard into your bedroom wall), he recovered slowly and stood in silence for a few seconds (his back to you)... 

...before reaching for a framed picture off the wall in front of him

He then tossed it once in his hand to get a better grip (so casual, one might’ve thought it was a baseball), swung around with demonic speed, and smashed the picture (glass forward) into the side of your face

* Homeboy used his full strength, and it would take several stitches to fix that bad boy up *

But this, of course, sent you reeling in a burst of blood and glass shards

As you lay squirming on the ground (caught between trying to talk, putting your hands up to your shredded face, and trying to process what had just happened) Patrick just watched you for a bit - almost enamored by the image of you dazed and bloody 

Then, the fight ended the way you and Patrick’s fights always do

Patrick suddenly broke out of his fucked up killer trance, righted himself a little (you’d fucked him up pretty good, and usually do even though he always comes out on top), laughed in his usual Hockstetter way, and offered his hand to help you up

You took it slowly (and a little unsurely - he’d tricked you with this move in the past) and stood up in front of him as best you could - mostly straight, but still letting your body loll a bit to the side 

Patrick watched you trying to focus your gaze on him (literally living for how torn apart you were) before coming out with a single sentence:

”You gotta’ little somethin’ on your face there, hot stuff.”

He then plucked a small shard of glass out of your cheek, flicked it across the room, and sauntered into the bathroom laughing his bony ass off 

Your fights literally always end in some version of this same manner 

i.e. With Patrick taking control for a few seconds, becoming satisfied when he feels he’s successfully alpha-maled you, and laughing it off afterwards as if you guys didn’t just have a full-on brawl

But it’s kind of a two-way street 

Meaning, after you fix yourself up, you typically go back to normal too

The fight gets fought, and then you guys are good - it settles whatever you were originally arguing about 

You have had fights about the same issues multiple times because of this though, so ya’ll could probably benefit from real communication rather than acting on your impulses 

... Especially since you basically get maimed every damn time 

Just sayin’. 

Cue 10/10 sex, and repeat in approximately a month

Definitely a very intense relationship overall - however probably not something a sane person would want for the long-term

That being said though, Patrick would probably keep you around forever if he could, because you’re the first person he’s ever been with who can handle his “tier 2″ level violence (most people can barely stand tier 1)

So, if you’re into the pain/intensity of fighting, the connection might actually work out

... Provided you don’t get murdered during an argument

Which might very well happen, so... have fun living that life 

[softestziam]

71!!

Because I can’t write anything simple. Here’s prompt number 71!

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

Not working during international break was strange for Dele. Since being signed by Spurs he’d been called up each time, except once when he was injured. Even then he was devastated seeing he was stuck at home to watch his friends train and play without him. Now it was a little more bearable because Eric wasn’t selected either. They were able to have a proper week off with each other. Dele strengthening his hamstring and Eric taking care of yet another setback. Either way it was necessary for them to rest and recover so they could power forward and get some more minutes under their belt and definitely get a call up next time around. Dele had sent a few texts to Chilly and Raheem, wishing them luck. Winks, Kane, and Rose keeping him in the loop of the latest national team gossip. Marcus and Jesse were still Marcus and Jesse. Kieran getting showered with love and affection from everyone after missing the Nations League and transferring to Spain.

The first two days were great, no work, no training, doing everything at your own leisure was fantastic. It was something they rarely did, even during summer holidays. Waking up without an alarm, getting to cheat a little on their diet, it made them briefly feel normal. Open the door to the back garden to have Clay run around and bask in what was left of the summer. No appointments to be kept, no one to answer to but themselves. Go on dates without being bothered by fans who wanted their autographs despite getting a few looks occasionally or hearing the whispers about them in the restaurant or cinema. It seemed like the entire country’s eyes were on St. George’s Park and not on those who had been left out of the squad, exactly what both Eric and Dele needed at that moment. Getting to hide in their little cocoon for two weeks before the grind of the winter months as the festive period games quickly approached.

On Wednesday reality crept back into their life. Dele and Eric had previous engagements for their sponsors. Dele was due to record a video for Adidas about health and fitness while Eric was scheduled to appear at Spurs new stadium on behalf of the team and Nike to speak to a few contest winners. It was perfectly planned, both of them being gone most of the day only to return to each other and their nest at the end of the day. They were able to have a lazy morning, sleep late, kiss softly under the blankets, tender touches on hips and thighs with mild desperation. Fingertips ghosting over skin in hope of remembering the feeling while they were separated. Dele whined as Eric kissed him one last time before leaving their bed to get up and get ready, giving him explicit instructions to do the same. He wanted so desperately to jump in the shower alongside Eric, slide up behind him, kiss his neck and shoulders as he washed him, scrubbing dully at his scalp as he washed his hair.

Dele huffed and puffed, jokingly, as he was driven to the Adidas headquarters in south London. He dramatically said his goodbyes to Eric in foyer, making sure to kiss him a little longer every time he promised it would be the last one. When his phone pinged letting him know the driver arrived Eric had to physical push him out the door with an eye roll. A few hours separation wouldn’t hurt them especially seeing they’ve lived in each other’s pockets for the last three years. Once at the Adidas headquarters Dele knew he had to get over himself. He was there as a professional and he had to act as such, he was representing himself and a huge global brand. He did sneak a text to Eric to wish him luck with his Nike appearance and rib him that Adidas was a far superior brand. He shook hands and introduced himself to the newest team members that would be joining the London branch. Some New York and Los Angeles executives were there as well and Dele instantly knew he had to be on his best behavior. He never had so many people in such tight quarters since he signed the contract with him right after he joined Spurs.

As requested Dele changed into head to toe Adidas gear before heading outside followed by more cameras than he was ever use to. He was greeted by another Adidas ambassador and was briefly explained as to what they were going to shoot that afternoon. It was going to be a casually run or stroll around the city, chatting about fitness and the season ahead. Of course they had to casually bring up the product and his new boots as if it organically was a topic they would speak about. Dele was enjoying himself. He made jokes at his own expense about his hamstrings and how he had to stretch them carefully and not run too fast or else he may be sidle lined again for three to four weeks. He did drift off during a lull in with the conversation as they ran, wondering what Eric was doing, if he was having fun and being his charming self in front of a crowd. Dele answered questions about his fitness and the team, both club and country, he was asked about the new stadium.

Lunch was prepared and served at the Adidas headquarters, Dele taking part in the cooking as it was being filmed. He spoke about his diet and how during the season it was to remain strict and was mostly meals provided by the team nutritionist and chefs. He laughed to himself at how in the last three days he didn’t stick to his diet at all. He and Eric eating takeaway almost everyday. Just the night before around midnight he was carving Nandos and made Eric drive the five miles to the closest one to get him his order. They sat in bed and pigged out on greasy chips covered in gravy and cheese and everything that was bad for someone, especially a professional athlete. They went to bed that night with full bellies and hearts, large smiles on their face, enjoying everything about their sacred time together behind the walls of their home. In front of the cameras he was his goofy, jovial self, cracking jokes, playing the part of a dumb jock. As he was mixing around the stir fry in the wok he felt his phone vibrate and immediately wanted to check it, hoping and praying it was Eric. He knew Eric would be busy to send him at text but he was hopeful.

After lunch the afternoon seemed to drag. More filming, more questions, more working out. It was a cycle that never seemed to end. Dele was grateful, being cordial and polite the entire time despite his mind being occupied with memories of being in bed with Eric. He couldn’t wait to go home, strip down to his boxers and just lay under the comforter with Eric and forget the world around them existed. Tangle their legs together and try desperately to mold themselves together. The camera crew was slowly putting their things away, the men in suits were saying their goodbyes and Dele knew his day was coming to an end. He was handed a few pairs of boots and a few shirts and pants to sign so they could raffle them off for a charity function. If that was the last thing he needed to do before he was dismissed, Dele was doing it willingly. He said his goodbyes and thanked everyone for the day while looking at his phone, no calls or texts for Eric. He snooped around twitter and Instagram and searched Eric’s name and cane across pictures and videos from the Nike and Spurs event. He had the crowd eating out the palm of his hand, his charisma shining bright.

Dele got home a little after five and was greeted at the door by an excited Clay. He came running, panting and tail wagging. Dele toed off his shoes and bent down to greet him with a scratch to the back of his head and kisses. He dropped his keys in their designated dish and followed the dog into the home. It was clear Eric wasn’t home because Clay was too excited to see someone. Also, Eric’s shoes, keys, and bags were nowhere to be found. Dele opened the back door for Clay to run and play in what was left of the sunlight, busying himself waiting patiently for Eric to come home. He sent him a text letting him know that he was home and hungry. He called for Chinese takeaway, he was forced to eat healthy for lunch he wanted to eat something greasy and that stuck to his bones. Selfishly, Dele liked the fact that he had gotten a little soft around the middle. He was always concerned about his appearance but being with Eric changed all that. Eric loved the way his stomach was filling out, love handles starting to form. He made him feel beautiful despite what others were saying. He was still healthy, still able to play without any hinderance, so it didn’t matter. Dele’s stomach swooped with the thought of Eric grabbing at his sides roughly and kissing at his stomach as he made his way down his body just the night before.

The food came and still no sign of Eric, so Dele sat in the theatre room and ate, pulling up their Netflix account. There were so many things he wanted to watch but knew if he watched them without Eric he’d be in trouble. He finally decided on Mindhunter and dug into his food, keeping an ear out for Clay and the front door. He was two episodes into the second series and still scarfing down his food when Clay began to bark. Dele checked his phone and it was a little passed eight. He paused the show and stood up to check on the dog, seconds later the front door opening. He heard Eric’s big feet making noise and clanking around the front door. Heard his voice faintly greet their dog. Dele’s feet couldn’t move fast enough towards the front, almost running to it. He finally caught a glimpse of Eric who looked so lovely. His cheeks were pink, hair a little disheveled, one shoe still on, the other one already lined up perfectly next to Dele’s discarded shoes.

“Where were you?” Dele asked in a slight panic.

Eric looked up at him with a bright smile as he took off his other shoe and dropped his bag and keys by the door. “I’m sorry so, Del.”

“Where were you?” He repeated, stepping closer to Eric.

Eric grabbed Dele’s hips to bring him in closer to kiss him. Dele melted against Eric’s chest, gripping to his shirt desperately, chasing the taste of Eric’s tongue.

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” Dele asked as he broke away from the kiss. “I can taste alcohol.”

“They took me out to dinner and drinks,” Eric replied with a shrug. “I didn’t get drunk, Delboy. Just two scotches.”

Dele shook his head and brushed the back of his hand against Eric’s cheek. “I’m not mad, Eric. You didn’t drive yourself home and you’re safe. Not harm no foul.”

“What were you doing while I was gone?” Eric asked as he slowly lead them further into the home. He walked into the kitchen and did a quick check of Clay’s food and water bowls, making sure they were sufficiently full. He opened the door to the back to let the door run free and do his business before they called it a night. “All alone in this big house without me.”

Dele groaned at Eric’s teasing like he was a child. “Had Chinese and watched Netflix.”

“Such a scandalous life you lead, Delboy,” Eric laughed. “If the tabloids could see you now.”

“Such a partier I am,” Dele laughed and leaned up against the kitchen counter. He scratched at his bare stomach as he looked over at Eric, he could feel his eyes in him, feel the energy in the room shift a little.

“I’m slightly drunk,” Eric confessed with a small laugh and smile.

“I know,” he smiled back at him. Eric’s blue eyes were a shade darker and despite being home for the last ten minutes his cheeks were still pink.

Eric took a few steps forward to place himself directly in front of Dele, pushing him further into the counter. “I love you like this.”

“Hmm?”

“So receptive, half naked, patiently waiting for me to come home,” he explained in a hushed voice, hands immediately gripping at Dele’s sides.

“Eric,” he gasped and pushed his body forward.

“I thought about you all day,” he continued, his fingers tracing patterns along Dele’s rib cage, leaving goosebumps on his skin. “Wondering what you were doing and who you were doing it with.”

“Thought about you too,” he told him, his voice low and raspy.

“Yeah?”

“Thought about last night,” he confessed with a blush. “The dedication and time you put in to taking care of me.”

“Forever,” Eric promised, his fingertips dipping into Dele’s boxers briefly. He smiled when he heard a gasp from Dele.

Dele bucked his hips forward, chasing Eric’s touch as he moved his hand to grip at Dele’s thigh. “Die-Diet.”

“Yes, love?” He asked with a half grin, looking down at how wide and blown Dele’s eyes were already from a simple touch. “How can I help you?”

“Diet,” he gasped again when the back of Eric’s hand brushed against his dick, purposely. “Take me upstairs and make love to me because I can’t take much more of this teasing.”

Eric laughed at Dele’s honesty, it was endearing and went straight to his dick which was straining in his joggers. He gripped Dele’s face with both hands and bent down to kiss him. It started slow, testing the waters, before Dele was desperately gripping at his shirt and licking his lips begging for entry. Eric knew neither of them had any willpower and would end up having sex on the kitchen counter if they didn’t move upstairs soon. All Eric wanted to do frankly was kiss Dele, a simple act but could do so much. It could set the tone of the rest of the evening, could rile both of them up. He knew Dele could still taste the scotch on him and for some reason that made Dele more desperate. Eric grabbed Dele by the hips and placed him on the counter, Dele’s legs automatically wrapping around Eric’s midsection and bringing him in closer.

“Del,” Eric gasped, his lips were raw and red, his entire body feeling like it was set on fire. “Upstairs, love.”

“Please,” he begged, locking his legs around Eric’s midsection tightly.

Eric groaned as their lower half brushed up against each other. He mentally prepared himself before picking Dele up and carrying him. His arms were straining and navigating the stairs was a bitch bit Dele continually kissing his neck and snaking his hands up Eric’s shirt was a nice distraction. He made it up the stairs and pushed Dele up against the wall closest to their bedroom, diving in to kissing him. Dele dropped his legs, Eric immediately grabbing at his left one and lifting it up to place it by his hip. He was frantically grabbing at any and all available skin he could get his hands on, digging his palm and nails into the soft flesh.

“Please, Eric,” he pleaded.

Eric sighed to still his mind and body. He wanted Dele in their bed but was so turned on he was willing to fuck him against a wall or any available surface. “Let’s go.”

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

My Top Songs of 2019

It’s that time of the year again when I take a look back at all the great music that was released throughout the year and choose my top 10.  Quick disclaimer as usual: These are not what I think are the best songs of the year.  They’re not even my favorite songs of the year.  They’re simply the top 10 songs that have defined my year.  (See the end if you’re interested in the rules of the selection of this top 10; also, most of this was written in 2019 but some was written in 2020).

10. “Think About Us” - Little Mix featuring Ty Dolla $ign

“When you're dancin' in the club And the nights are getting hard Do you think about us?”

Everyone knows that I have a weakness for girl groups.  UK’s Little Mix isn’t exactly my favorite, but admire how strongly they’ve stuck together as a group.  Their chemistry is undeniable, both as people and as vocalists.  To me, “Think About Us” was the standout track from last year’s LM5, and the addition of Ty Dolla $ign was the little shove it needed to be great.  The girls shine with their vocal prowess both on their solos and together on the chorus, and Ty$’s verse splits the track nicely.  The accompanying video is mesmerizing.  Each of the girls look absolutely stunning, and they have individual sets representing the different parts of a relationship, with Perrie as the butterflies-in-my-stomach beginning and Jade as the icy, cold end.  The lyrics are quite vague, but I think that’s the intention.  It’s applicable to any stage of a relationship; it could be a love song or a break-up song.  With it’s fun beat, it’s hard to pick if you want to dance to it, belt it out, or try to do both, but it’s definitely been an infectious part of 2019!

9. “Lonely for You” - Armin van Buuren featuring Bonnie McKee

“No, you're never gonna see me cry I already got a brand new life Don't you know I'm moving on And everyday I'm stronger? I don't even know you're gone”

The Netherlands’ Armin van Buuren has a recipe to get trance music to pull at your heart, and one piece that makes this apparent is “Lonely for You.”  With the assist from US’s pop hit writer Bonnie McKee, this track is different yet familiar, a haunting disconnect to match the mixed feelings of the lyrics.  From light synths to disco-esque drums to pure piano, Van Buuren’s track pushes and pulls the same way the tumultuous narrator’s lyrics go back and forth, with McKee’s vocals surfing on the top.  The music video has a couple choreography emphasizing the push-and-pull theme, and McKee looks fantastic as usual.  Van Buuren’s Balance is full of more emotionally-rich tracks for both happy and sad times, many of which utilize beautiful piano to highlight amazing vocals.  “Lonely for You” is an altogether addictive track that was perfect for all the lonely nights of 2019.

8. “Antidote” - Mr Hudson

“You of all people After all we've been through Started out an angel And now you get away with murder”

As a huge fan of the UK’s Mr Hudson, I waited basically a decade for his sophomore album, and it did not disappoint.  While When the Machine Stops features several tearjerking songs, “Antidote” is on the next level.  The song takes the subject of betrayal and perfectly captures how trust can die.  The genius is in its simplicity.  Not a single instrument starts until the entire first verse is complete, letting the lyrics speak for themselves.  Even when the instruments do come in, it’s just soft percussion and synths.  As much as I love vocal runs and ad-libs galore, the straightforward melody had me humming this song for much of 2019.

7. “Me & You” - EXID

“Oh 야야야 더 이상 우리라는 말 하지 마마마 안 봐도 뻔하잖아 야임 마마마 지금 날 어디서 속이려 들어 그건 네 엄마마마 한테나 가서해 baby I don't care”

As I mentioned in last year’s post, 2018 was the year I fell in love with K-Pop, mostly due to Blackpink at the time.  As much as I love Blackpink (and got to see them live this year!), their limited discography didn’t leave much to be loved.  Enter EXID.  This group is stacked: arguably South Korea’s best female rapper in the game LE, one of the best vocalists Solji, and the girl who is absolutely beautiful, sexy, cute, and smart all at the same time Hani (who may or may not be my ultimate bias, sorry Rosé).  Their previous single “I Love You” missed my 2018 list because it was released so late in the year, but it turned out to be my most played song on Spotify this year.  In fact, several of their songs were on that list.  Like many of their previous singles, “Me & You” is an infectious dance track utilizing each member where they excel: Hani with her soft, sultry vocals, a splash of LE’s sick flows to split up the song, Hyelin’s powerhouse vocals to bring up the first chorus, Solji’s even more powerful vocals to take the song to its climax, and Jeonghwa on the dance break (low key kinda sounds like she’s singing “Baby Shark” but that’s a jam too I guess).  The duality of the track is what makes it stand out, with the pretty vocals and simple verses largely contrasting from the deep and dirtier synths of the dance break.  The video plays with this duality by featuring EXID as brides in white versus clubbing in neon.  The rest of the WE mini album isn’t quite as dance-y but is fun to vibe to nonetheless.  The group unfortunately may be over, since Hani and Jeonghwa are leaving their record label, but they’re at least sticking together for their activities in Japan for now.  So many more K-Pop hits were released this year, some of my favorites being Mamamoo’s “Gogobebe,” SEVENTEEN’s “HIT,” Super Junior D&E’s “Danger,” Park Bom’s “Spring,” KARD’s “Dumb Litty,” NCT 127′s “Highway to Heaven”, NCT Dream’s “Boom”, Ong Seongwu’s “Heart Sign,” and another release to be mentioned later on this list.

6. “Heartbreak” - Hunter Hayes

“Another, ‘Almost perfect’ Didn't work, but totally worth it Better to have loved and lost my mind Than lose the nerve to even try”

I remember watching the 2013 Grammy’s and watching Hunter Hayes lose all three of his nominations, at that point becoming the “Leonardo DiCaprio never wins an Oscar” meme to me and my friends.  He went on to lose two more nominations, but honestly, I always liked his music (and Grammy nominations are no small feat in the first place!).  While 2017 was technically the year I had my first date and 2018 was the year I had my first girlfriend, 2019 was the year that I really put myself out there and dated the most.  And yes, there was a lot of awkwardness and stupidity and mostly me messing up, but that’s just a part of life.  And “Heartbreak” perfectly captures all those feelings.  From the guitar to the bit of twang to the drums, this song is unabashedly fun country, and the optimistic lyrics always made me feel better.  It’s like a c’est la vie Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” before he found the girl. The accompanying video is also fun with a groundhog day theme as he tries to win over a girl.  The album as a whole is a fun listen, with “Dear God” being the other Wild Blue (Part I) standout to me.  Here’s hoping Part II comes out with some vibes in 2020!

5. “Tempo” - Lizzo featuring Missy Elliott

“He look like he could gain a little weight Lick the icing off, put the rest in your face”

Lizzo exploded this year, and I’m not mad about it.  She has confidence and charisma galore, and her resulting music is mad bouncy, earning her several Grammy nominations for next year, including Best New Artist.  Her songs like most of Cuz I Love You can be quite loud and in-your-face, which is fine, just not exactly my style.  However, get her on this more subdued R&B beat and throw in a Missy Elliott feature, I’m in.  This will make any upbeat R&B lover dance, and the music video is the kind of hot and fun you would expect (with a cowboy hat you may not expect).  Missy also made an imprint this year with Iconology which is her first group release since 2005′s The Cookbook.  I’ve always been a fan of her work, and this is a perfect feature for her.

4. “NONE of this has been about you” - Spencer Sutherland

“I'm afraid that you would hate me if you knew, That I've become insensitive, It's true, But even if you do”

Spencer Sutherland’s “NONE of this has been about you” off his debut EP of the same name has a lot of elements about it that I would personally want in a song of my own.  It starts off with a very simple piano and vocals with a tinge of soul.  As he continues to sing, he puts more soul and emotion into his voice, and splashes of harmonies start to come in.  A couple short riffs later and just a second before the drop.  Although, it’s not a dance drop.  A choir drops in for the chorus with some drums to announce that, in fact, none of this has been about you.  The song eventually escalates to Sutherland’s soaring ad-libs over the choir.  Beyond the musical stylings, I enjoy the message of this song.  Sure, the narrator is telling someone, possibly his lover, that his struggles are personal and not something she or he should worry about, but I also like to take it as a reminder not to always worry about others or what they are thinking.  For example, 2019 was the first full year I had an ex, and a lot of that time, I was worried about posting on social media because maybe she’ll think this or that is about her.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever “subtweeting” about her.  We’re good.  Any breakup song or black and white photo I post has nothing to do with her.  So this song is a nice reminder to keep it pushing and stay in your own lanes.  The remaining songs on Sutherland’s EP were all also on repeat throughout the year.  The man’s just got a solid voice, and I’m glad he’s continuing a soulful pop sound that is rarer than before.

3. “Beautiful goodbye” - Chen

“다시 시간을 되돌려 처음 만난다면 가로등 옆에 서 있지 말아요 미소 짓지도 왼손으로 머릴 넘기지 마요 그래야 내가 그대를 지나칠 테니까”

Now, when it comes to a piano and vocals, nothing dominated my year more than Chen, especially his debut solo single “Beautiful goodbye.”  I won’t repeat all the reasons why I love his voice so much (see last year’s post), but long story short, he’s my favorite male vocalist right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I love EXO and the energy they bring to their songs, but a full EP of just Chen really lets the listener feel his artistry, pulling on heartstrings every which way.  In this song, the narrator is recognizing that his relationship is dead but proposing that they can hold onto it just for a bit longer until they peacefully part in spring.  There’s a respect to their relationship and what it has done for them that they can take with them as separate people before they part ways.  Chen’s voice takes the listener on an adventure, starting soft and simple then escalating and crescendoing to unveil the hardened pain in his voice.  It’s not a sudden angry breakup, it’s more subtle and more somber.  In the end, his soft vibrato and the final notes of the piano leave the listener in just as an uncertain position as the narrator; is it better to hope it stays winter forever or hope for spring to come?  While I also wanted some upbeat songs from Chen, his April, and a flower EP followed by Dear my dear is chockfull of beautiful and emotional ballads.

2. “Never-ending Summer” - Cyn

“What if we don't ever have to say goodbye? I wanna keep living like we'll never die If you're mad then I'm mad too You're crying, I'm sad too I'll watch your back for you, watch mine”

Newcomer Cyn’s “Never-ending Summer” is, to me, an experience.  It took me a while to appreciate its simplicity, but then it became so addictive that it itself became never-ending.  The guitar or synth (or whatever that instrument is) plays on loop to emphasize the never-ending nature of the song and gives a dreamy vibe that’s somehow both modern and reminiscent of the 70s.  Cyn’s simple vocals evoke a carefree feeling reminiscent of running on the beach and all the accompanying imagery with her photoshoot and lyric video.  It makes sense that Cyn is part of Katy Perry’s record label Unsub Records, as this song feels somewhat like Perry’s hits off of Teenage Dream including “California Gurls” and the title track, albeit much more in Cyn’s own understated style.  This summer, I learned how to surf and have fallen deeper in love with the beach (even though a stingray stung me my last time there), and this song would keep the surfing mentality continuing throughout the year, even when it gets too cold for it to be summer (or, even if my foot is bleeding to death).  Doesn’t hurt that Cyn is unbelievably cute too.

1. “Lovebird” - Far East Movement featuring Lay

“I can sleep here alone, but you know it's better with you You could be by yourself, but you know it's better with two”

As I grow as a person and become more proud of who I am, I think it makes sense for me to become more proud of my Asian heritage as well as support Asians and Asian-Americans out there, especially in the music industry as music means a great deal to me.  That said, it’s important to me that I don’t support people just because they’re Asian as if it’s some kind of nepotism.  That kind of segregating mentality can also be unhealthy.  Far East Movement are technically a one hit wonder; they have yet to outdo their 2010 hit “Like a G6.”  However, this year I found out about their record label Transparent Music that has been around since 2016 with a goal of unifying eastern and western music.  Their previous album aptly named Identity features a ton of artists from both sides of the word, from Hyolyn and Loco to Macy Gray and Soulja Boy (shoutout to my favorite song on that album, “Freal Luv” featuring Tinashe and yet another EXO member, Chanyeol).  To me, music is about unification.  It is about bringing a deeper understanding through melody and rhythm.  Those are the simplest terms I can put it.  I hope this is evident through this list that I appreciate people and music from all kinds of backgrounds.  Even if my tastes lean one way or another from year to year, I hope my lists maintain diversity and well-roundedness.  Somehow, Far East Movement has managed to capture this sense of unification in “Lovebird,” featuring Chen’s EXO bandmate from China, Lay.  It’s not the most complex song; in fact, like many songs on this list, it’s quite simple.  The synth bends in a carefree way that celebrates togetherness along with the lyrics, and I find that beautiful.  2019 was a year of growth and life, and “Lovebird” was the perfect song to accompany it.

*To qualify for this list, the song must have been released this year.  An artist can only have one song on this list, excluding features.

[vorefluff]

if anyone is curious

This is legit how I come up with new storylines and things. This is just a copy/paste of something I sent my girlfriend when I was in the middle of Figuring A Thing Out.

Featuring a new character, Hue and a drawing of him! Mostly this is about Blaze tho, and some stuff about John too. It sorta goes all over the place - the moment it seems like ‘oh this is what this post is about’ it switches on you.

Warnings: Lots of “so anyway”, no proofreading, completely filled with lowercase sentence starters, fragments, cussing, a couple vague s*xual references. It’s a brain barf. 

[day 1]

This is Hue. He's a werewolf boi-o and one of the shortest characters i've made so far, clocking in at 4'10". you can just barely see his bite scars under the arm hair I decided that John shouldn't be entirely partner-less because Blaze decided to be stubborn and not embrace the gay. Cause that's just unfair to john. Like, Blaze said no, John respects that, so John moves on. 

No matter how much I rlly rlly want the two to be together. 

so anyway is seems that John has a Type. smol grumpy and easy to fluster I mean, in terms of potential romantic partners. in terms of Hotness and potential one-night-stands and such he's more physically attracted to guys in snappy suits and confidence like raknu but also not raknu himself because it'd be weird to bang your boss.

[day 2]

[insert some Spoilery Things about Alchemy Brothers from my World Of Glass And Bone and my character I’m basing Hue off of. This is also a first - usually I don’t base one character off of another. I did it in this case to absolutely make 100% sure that Hue’s personality doesn’t end up being like a Blaze2.0.]

[....] cause like, yeah, I made him with the intent of finding an Actual Partner for John, but I don't want that to be his Entire Personality. I don't want him to just be off-brand discount walmart version of Blaze. I've never done this before k. Like, usually I make characters, and then decide relationships to other people, not the other way around. And now I'm just Worried and low-key Freaking Out that he won't be seen as anything more than a Blaze-wannabe.

[day 3]

so THIS is how love triangles get started, huh - throwing in Hue threw a wrench into things. so like we got John and Blaze, right? they're like. bestest buds. John is like, the only person that Blaze really actually feels completely comfortable around. and like, a big part of the reason why Blaze doesn't want to be in an Actual Official Relationship is a lot of smaller very valid reasons. 

 1) he's in denial that it's even a thing he wants at all. All relationships end in Bad Things - either death as Blaze outlives them, or breakups, or deception and misunderstanding, or other Fun Things like that. So why the fuck would he want to put himself through that again? 

2) he still gets nightmares about Alex and not over that 3) all past relationships have been either abusive or at least a little bit Toxic - including alex (just as the nature of the culture, and the social power difference between people and vampires, toxic masculinity, just straight up assholes with a pretty face, ect) and that's just sorta the standard, normal thing that Blaze expects to happen with relationships in general. So it's showing a little bit of growth on Blazes part by saying no to the perceived toxicity, but still misunderstanding what a normal relationship is. 

 4) he's still not sure he's part gay. Like, he was Trying Out A Thing with Alex and he didn't get enough time to process it or really tell if that's something for him.

5) Blaze is asexual and sex-repulsed, and John is Horny. Not that John would do anything that Blaze is uncomfortable with - just the idea that Blaze is holding John back from something that he really wants to do while simultaneously being really stuck on the idea of monogamy and being uncomfortable with the idea ofo John being with anyone else sexually if they're in a relationship. 

 6) and fear that if he says yes then He's Stuck. can't back out, can't break off, without losing John completely as a friend (which is not something John would do even if they did break off for whatever reason). but it's still intense fear, and strongly supported by the idea of 'history repeats itself'. 

 7) he's also still low-key weirded out by the thought that John was assigned female at birth and while he's Getting Better at that and normalizing it. Being closer than friends before he's finished sorting things out in his head properly only brings up those weirded out feelings more intensely and more frequently until it becomes a potential point of conflict. If they were to ever be a thing, it'd take a lot of time before it started up, for Blaze to be 100% okay and Chill and properly sort through his head around John being trans. Not that Blaze would ever insult or weaponize that against john or anything, just personally working through centuries of stigma/sterotypes/ect and trying to get to a point where that thought isn't weird or bad anymore.

and a few other little reasons here and there but those are the big main ones in the way between a Blaze and John relationship. and I've been trying to keep that in mind when writing stories between them, cause John would totally go out with Blaze, and if Blaze didn't have those blocks, then he'd totally be open to a relationship with John too. 

Like, blaze low-key has a crush on John too. And I ship is so hard. And I want it to be a thing but I feel it's unfair to Blaze's character and all the stuff he has to work through himself before he's mentally stable enough to be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone. 

 and like maybe if no one else existed, yeah, sure, they'd get together at some point but like John isn't going to wait years for the possibility of a relationship with a person who already said 'no'.

So anyway, Hue comes on scene, right? 

John is spending more time with Hue and due to the nature of time being limited and the fact that often John operates seperately in Hero Team Missions (he's a spellcaster where the others aren't - he can do a lot of behind the scenes things that the others can't) 

Blaze finds himself really really wanting John's company more which makes him question why the fuck and therefore come to the realization that yeah okay fuck fine he's part gay but what the fuck ever John's with someone else already so.

so he's trying to shove down those annoyin' fckn feelings of jealousy, and also starting to distance himself from John and also throwing in some self-hate for missing his chance because Everything Blaze Does has to be low-key toxic (bad blaze stop it-) 

and once there's something you Want that's out of reach, suddenly you start forgetting about the reasons why you didn't go for it in the first place when it was available which means at least some of the other barriers are temporarily forgotten - at least, until John is available again, then they'd re-surface with vengeance and more self-hate because now-is-you're-chance-what-are-you-waiting-for - 

so anyway Blaze is a (valid) Dramatic Bitch who can't make up his goddamn mind

And right now I'm trying to figure out the new dynamic, and how things end there. 

 I'm like maybe 20% sure that they might end up turning it into a poly relationship instead of a love triangle 

John would be down for that Hue would be down for that 

it all just depends on Blaze and his dumb stupid (meant lovingly, they're still valid) limitations and quirks and trauma and shit.

there's nothing solid yet but the idea of it being turned into a poly relationship is rlly appealing to me

also 

blaze needs a therapist

I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've said that and I don't know why I haven't said it sooner but Blaze needs a therapist.

vampires getting therapists isn't something that ever happens for lots of stupid and dumb (not valid) reasons but maybe maaaayyyyybeeeeeee Raknu can pull some strings, talk to some people, ya know. Maybe try and find a therapist who's willing to come in and try and talk to a vampire with hundreds of years of Shit.

raknu can claim it's for the good of the team, and teamwork, and shiz. I mean, having a vampire on a hero team at all is a New Thing, Blaze was one of the first. So obviously, there'll the other New Things that arise from this, that can bypass stupid rules

well I guess for Blaze to see a therapist Blaze would have to actually be willing to ya know. 

see the therapist 

that's more unlikely than raknu being able to call one in that's open to it 

Blaze does not have a very good opinion on therapists. Blaze thinks they're all quacks and wishy-washy idiots 

siiiiiiigh 

blaze why why do you have to be this way like, you've got a whole bunch of Good Things that you could've had why do you have to be stubborn 

all of these good things literally just hinge on you.

it's okay though 

blaze is just taking the scenic route the long way around to Good Times.

I think what would be required for Blaze to see a therapist would be for someone he sees as similar to him - not wishy-washy, negativity and toxic central, similar opinion of therapists in general - to go in and see one first, and actually be helped and have their life improved. 

then maybe blaze would give it a try and-  

ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

heheheheheheh 

AHAHAHAHAHAHA 

this is where it comes full circle!!! 

This is perfect!!!! 

Hue! 

it all comes back to HUE! 

Hue goes to therapy which then convinces Blaze to accept therapy which means Blaze can actually Work Through Some Of His Shit 

and then we can have a valid Poly Relationship with John and Blaze and Hue and it wouldn't have been possible without Hue which low-key starts them off in a positive relationship, which is bolstered by John really liking Hue, and therefor Blaze has someone else he can Really Actually Enjoy And Feel Comfortable Around instead of being stuck on just John 

Bonus Little Story Thing For Making It This Far:

Blaze tentatively kisses the top of Smol John’s head, giving a hesitant little smile. John blushes and grins, leaning against the vampire. 

Glancing up though, Blaze sees Hue with a raised eyebrow and a an amused smirk.

A very intense possessiveness washes over Blaze. Blaze makes direct eye contact with Hue. 

“aAURG!! wHAt the HECK!!!” John exclaims as Blaze’s teeth firmly rest on his back, pressing him into the tongue protecting him from the vampire’s bottom teeth. 

Blaze lifts John up from his hand like that, pulling his tongue in and bringing John with it. John fumbles for an oxygen tank from his pockets. 

Blaze maintains eye contact with Hue the entire time, swallowing the small form. 

Hue is amused, a little disturbed, but mostly confused. 

Finally Hue breaks the silence. “Couldn’t resist such a snacc, huh?” 

[legion1993]

3 little words: i Love You

A/n: this is for @thisismysecrethappyplace for her challenge! *sorry this took so long girl! but here it is... im so sorry i hope this fits with all the prompts and details. hope you enjoy it.

pairing: Barry Allen x Female!reader

reader’s personal sitch: bullied by family “friends” co workers

male main is: overprotective

sitch between mains: love letters

dialogue (quote): “i was just kinda hoping that you’d… y’know… fall in love with me…”

summery: its a surprise….

masterlist

this is how your life changed, it went from one of daily turmoil and unpleasentries to one where you received your happily ever after.  this is how it happened, this is how you discovered how much your best friend really cared about you. 

your daily routine included: 

waiting 10 minutes before getting out of bed to make sure your eyes were working first. 

after getting out of bed, going to the bathroom doing your hair and smiling at yourself in the mirror. 

then going to select your outfit, something comfortable yet pleasent on the eyes. 

once that was done, do some of your daily mobile game stuff. 

then walking out the door with your bag, shoes and sometimes a jacket.

then walking to work, of course with your music rocking away in your ears, you of course had already called Jitters coffee house placing the order for your morning coffee and of course your breakfast sandwich.

stopping in and picking it up, chatting a bit with the usual barista or whoever happened to be working at that particular time.

walking out of there carefully continuing your strut all the way to the CCPD, where for about 8 months now you had faithfully fulfilled the role of CSI, while your best friend Barry Allen was in acoma after being struck by lightning. 

your only wish was to have your best friend/overprotective partner in crime solving back by your side cause without him there, work was hell for you. 

for you were bullied and teased by pretty much everyone you worked with, everyone only bullied you if the captain or Barry or iris or Joe weren’t around.  this time none of them were around, instead you were teased as soon as you walked into the station, you practically had to run through the police station, up the stairs to your’s and Barry’s lab. 

you got in there placing the coffee and your sandwich on the nearby table you fell to the ground in tears…  all you could do was wish that Barry was there, but it was getting easier to do this day by day, just involved alot of crying and lots of alcohol. 

YN (to self): “Barry come back to me, please i need you!”

all you did was repeat that over and over… but someone else happened to stumble upon your little crying session… for now it was Iris West who happened to walk in your lab slowly….

thats of course when she heard what you were saying more clearly…

Iris: “YN…”

your head turned towards the friendly, familiar voice this made you come out of your on the floor stupper, get up and run into her familiar embrace. when she pulled back she started crying with a smile on her face. 

YN: “Iris, i know why i’m crying but why are you crying?”

Iris: “it’s Barry, he’s awake!”

YN: “he is… when? for how long? how? is he okay? Where?”

Iris: “he is fine, he is at Star Labs still they are just making sure he is healthy before they let him come home. Barry wanted me to tell you that he will be back soon. now want some company while you start your work?”

YN: “i wouldnt mind, it would keep the other noses out of where they don’t belong.”

Iris: “people still giving you a hard time?”

You just nodded you couldnt even form words about it, see what had been happening was you were always seen as the burden, the over bearing know it all, seen as the one thing stopping everyone around you from being able to live their lives… 

but when you started working at the CCPD after Barry fell into acoma your only thought was doing your job, however certain of Central city’s finest didnt think you had any business at all digging your nose into the cases as CCPD’s newest CSI… 

it was always worse, like going to school with Barry people would tease you and him, teasing you guys by saying that you guys looked closer than friends… well as much as that would be a nice thought you were just grateful once you and Barry graduated high school. 

but in the back of your mind, the only part of those memories that really stuck with you were the ones that included every single time Barry would drag you away from those bullies, everyone around you guys, sometimes it was almost like he was over protective of you. 

Barry a few times got his ass kicked just because he tried to avenge your feelings, because he was the only one who was able to see through your facade, he could see that all the teasing and bullying was tearing you apart…

But nothing else was said apart from the new kind of glow about you, Iris of course was thrilled, but she could see that all the pain and sorrow you had been surrounded with when she walked in the lab had all gone away. 

your main focus right then was on the fact that Barry was awake and alive and coming back soon. 

Iris: “so what case are you working on?”

YN: “something brand new the Captain texted me that he was gonna leave samples of stuff on my desk… in a box…”

you pick up the box of evidence and smile. now you were in happy-ish work mode. 

with your new outlook nothing could bring you down, well none except for them… in the ccpd there was a pair of men, they were the same jerks from when you and Barry were in high school. every single morning they walked well more like strided into your lab and began to bug you. 

bully 1: “hey YN what do you call a lab coat with stains?“ 

bully 2: "oh look its not a lab coat its a bitch thinking she can survive in a world where she does not belong.”

Bully 1: “and look she has a friend with her… i guess its a two for one special today…”

Bully 2: “which one do you want?”

Iris came closer to you, grabbing the mop where you grabbed the broom… 

Iris: “stay back or we will make you stay back…”

Bully 1: “well then make us… little bitches.”

those bullies just stood there and didnt move or anything but the second they started laughing both you and Iris set down the mop and the broom which in turn led to both you ladies walking up to those bullies and kicking them in the balls. then running off to talk to Captain Singh. 

when you and Iris got to the stair case like 2 hallways away from the lab, Iris spotted her father and figured she would let you talk to captain singh alone. 

Iris: “ill catch you later YN!”

Iris said once both you and her got down the stairs, it was your job to get into singhs office and tell him about the bullying that was going on within the precinct walls. 

you approached his door and knocked before opening. 

YN: “captain…”

Singh: “YN,  shut the door & come in please have a seat…”

you closed the door walking over to the chair to sit down… 

YN: “as you know since starting here i have developed a routine of mostly keeping to my work, or staying close to iris or joe or even you… well thats because alot of the precinct bullies and teases me… i mean lots of people do  but the precinct does because of Barry… they think i only took a job here cause i wanted to be close to him.. thats not it at all… i love my job, its in fact one of the only jobs where i have people to shield me from the teasing and the bullying… captain i know that you havent heard about this breakthrough news yet, not many people know about it but Iris was here this morning she told me that Barry is awake and coming back soon! the people looking after him just want to run a few more tests on him to make sure he is healthy before they release him.”

singh: “well we will be pleased and honored to have Mr. Allen back at his post and i’ll be counting on you to show barry the new protocols and things. but as to the bullying issue, i’ll make a formal announcement to the entire precinct to promote the new anti bullying law… henceforth, anyone found guilty of bullying another officer or member of the ccpd shall immediately be stripped of their rank, gun, badge and be discharged… how does that sound?”

You nod your head now having the thought of Barry, Barry how the hell would he react to hearing that since he got struck by lightning you fell prey to the bullying going on under the nose of the captain. 

Singh: “shall we go make this announcement to the entire precinct and after wards i’ll personally escort you back to your lab.”

YN: “thank you captain!”

you and singh walk out of his office, no one dared to touch you nor say anything cause of course you were walking to the staircase with the captain. at the top of the staircase you and Singh turned to face the rest of the precinct. 

Singh: “attention everyone, its come to my attention very recently that there has been bullying happening within the walls of my precinct. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE… henceforth anyone caught bullying another member of this precinct shall be stripped of their badge, their gun and be discharged from service to the CCPD. i want everyone to take note and report directly to me if there is any known bullying activity happening, names and badge numbers when you report it in. is that clear?”

everyone below agreed, then Singh turned away from you leading you back to your lab… 

Singh: “YN, i hope you know that no one will ever be able to take your position away from you… when Barry returns we will make sure to install key card access for your guys safety… but i’ll let you go back to work, and i’ll even let you take off early today. i’m sure you probably want to stop by and see Barry… or go back to your apartment and prepare to bring him home.”

at that moment before you could even say anything your phone started buzzing, it was a video chat request from Barry.. your face lit up, you turned your phone to show the captain, who bowed out gracefully. 

you went to sit at the desk full of boxes as you answered the call… 

YN: “Barry…”

Barry: “YN, looks like you are having fun!”

YN: “your ok… ive been so worried!”

Barry could just chuckle watching as you show him a huge stack of papers. 

Barry: “your worried, ive been worried. your surrounded by people who will stop at nothing to bully and torment you, who will stop at nothing but to make your life miserable. i just hope that you are gonna be able to survive till i can come back.”

YN: “when is that by the way? Iris said it would be a few days… please tell me it will be sooner than that.”

Barry: “ill be out as soon as i can! but tell me is the apartment still in tack… anyone else giving you a hard time?”

you turned your eyes towards the papers and instantly Barry knew that something was wrong… 

Barry: “is it the same idiots from high school.?”

thats when you broke down… you started crying… Barry’s only regret was that he couldnt be there to comfort you.

Barry: “as soon as i get out of this doctor office, i’ll come and i’ll save you. i promise!”

YN (sobbing): “i hope i’ll survive, the captain knows ive been getting bullied. i just hope that you are gonna be out of there soon! i really miss my roommate/best friend!”

Barry: “i miss you too… i know its been a rough few months, i also know you spent quite a few nights here right beside me, so thank you… it helped me to sub consciously keep fighting cause i knew i had something precious to come back too…”

YN: “please come back soon. i can’t express into enough words how much i miss having you around. this lab is too big for just one person. besides this work would go alot faster with another person.”

Barry laughed hearing you try to sweet talk him into coming back early. 

Barry: “well what are you working on now? cataloging or closing?”

YN: “cataloging, and its annoying cause Singh won’t ease up on how much work he is giving me… i have currently several boxes full of different cases, but alot of these have the csi listed as you, are signed with your signature, i haven’t been able to think about anything else since you got struck by lightning, i have forgotten to clean the apartment most days so now i’ve hired a maid service for us, for our apartment, i know there is nothing else i can possibly say right now that will make you come back any faster but i will say this, when you get back there will be alot of hugs & lots of dancing in the rain. like we did the night of our high school graduation.”

Barry: “lots of dancing in the rain definately. but i gotta go unfortunately the doctor wants to run more tests… physical tests but i’ll be out soon and then i’ll give you the biggest hug ever.”

You blew a kiss into the phone and watched the screen go black. the call ended, the overwhelming sense of happiness that you were feeling at that moment, was a lot better than what you had been feeling when you had been by yourself this morning. 

you finished cataloging 3 more files of paper and then made the effort to go check in with the captain before you left for the day. it was twilight when you left the station. 

of course you had taken your time with cataloging you might have even cataloged a bit more than you had hoped to do, but there was no shortage of good thoughts on your mind. 

now there had been alot of things on your mind before hand, you had so much more on your mind now. Barry was gonna be so surprised when he got back home. of course however when Barry would finally come home would be the first time in forever that you might actually want to tell him of your feelings or vise versa. 

you stopped to pick up some dinner but you couldnt keep your mind off the fact that Barry would soon be back by your side where he belonged.

meanwhile at star labs…

Barry: “how many more tests do we have to run? honestly i got a life to get back too.”

Caitlin: “you will be allowed to leave as soon as you perfect your control of your super speed. which if you complete this next simulation, you will hopefully have full control and be back home by tomorrow morning.”

Barry: “ugh, i have a girl that ive been in love with since we were in school together and i can’t survive the rest of my life, if i never have the courage to tell her how i really feel. look she has been bullied since we were in high school by these 2 idiots who now work in the ccpd. i hate the thought of her facing each day working with those 2 goons.”

Caitlin could only do so much more, so after 4 more hours of testing Barry’s abilities and vitals she realized that no matter what test she put him through, within those 4 hours he worked even harder and gained serious amounts of control over his abilities. 

Caitlin: “we are just about ready to send you home but there is something else that we would like you to do, we think you should become a hero…”

Barry: “i’ll think about it now can i please…”

thats when the star labs alarm went off… heading to the cortex, barry and caitlin met up with wells and cisco to find out the cause of the alarm. on the monitor it showed a dark barely lit alley with what looked to be a woman leaning scared against the wall with about 6 guys. 

Cisco: “im just about to pull up the audio footage…”

as soon as cisco pulled up the audio Barry took off in a black hoodie and red lightning.

in the alley

YN: “stay back leave me alone, one push of a button and this alley would be swarming with cops.”

attacker 1: “well then do it, it will make this more of a party…”

Attacker 3: “let see what she is wearing under neath that coat!”

but it was like a blur, a red, yellow blur of lightning a figure knocking away those goons before they could  surround you anymore. but you hadnt time to thank this blur before he disappeared…  for the rest of your walk home, there wasnt any noise that you heard on that walk home that didn’t make you shake…

quarter way from your apartment

it wasn’t till you arrived on the home stretch that a familiar shadow was sitting on the steps of your building’s entry way. 

Barry: “hey…”

Your brain didnt register the voice at first till their form stood and moved towards you, forcing you to stop dead in your tracks… your body already quivering, made your knees buckle from beneath you right then and there you dropped to your knees in fear… 

Barry having seen this, knowing what you went through knowing also that he couldnt say anything about what happened nor him saving you. but instead only walked a bit more till he was half visible in the street light.

you hadn’t stopped watching his form but yet still now standing right there, now under the street light your eyes now registered the voice to the figure now standing a few feet away.

YN: “Barry…”

you got up off the ground immediately and ran straight for his embrace, realizing that you were now starting to spout tears of joy…

Barry: “shh shh its okay…”

YN: “your home... but i thought...”

Barry: “they let me go early... so i got a taxi here and ive been waiting here for you to come home ever since...”

you pulled back to look at him and then went to the front door and opened it, letting both of you inside... Barry & you didn’t stop starring at eachother the entire way inside, it was nerve wrecking for both of you...

once in the apartment you had to turn away from Barry for a moment ashamed of the strewn case files everywhere.. 

Barry: “its like i never left... case files everywhere, take out on the counter.. dishes on the drying mat... let me guess the bed isnt made and the laundry is waiting to be folded...”

YN: “is it that obvious...”

Barry nodded but instantly went to work, putting trash in the trash and dishes in the cupboard... it really was like he never left... you removed your coat and your heels taking a sigh of relief... then going over to a small gift box with every single letter you had written for Barry since he had got struck by lightning.

Barry: “what ya got there...”

you brought the box over to Barry and handed it to him... 

YN: “i wrote you a letter one for every single day you were gone... they contain my thoughts, feelings, and wishes... also they tell you what happened while you were well in coma... just keep an open mind when you read them... im gonna go put on a face mask and get into something less work related... then maybe you can help me sort through these case files.”

Barry: “of course... i cant even imagine what kind of torment you went through when i was gone...”

You instantlly thought about what happened many numerous times, being sexualized and bullied and teased and pushed around. it didnt make being without barry easy but all you could do was tough it up... 

YN: “it was torture... and today wasnt much better i was chased and cornered in an alley on the way home, i was almost raped...”

you say as your walking towards the bedroom, upon hearing this though barry follows in suit, bringing his laundry bag and places it in the pile by the door. your sitting on the bed when he finally catches up to you. 

Barry: “what do you mean you almost got raped tonight?”

YN: “i mean i was walking home and i almost got raped in an alley a couple blocks away... but a red lightning blur saved me... i was able to escape... but im shaken beyond belief.”

Barry: “you are gonna be okay, now just relax... im not going anywhere...”

Barry got out of his sweater and took off his socks coming up behind you, he pulls you into his embrace and you sob uncontrollably against his chest, knowing that now he was home and you could finally rest easy.

both you and Barry now relaxing into a calm environment Barry looks at the box that he had put on his side of the bed... the box with all the letters you had written him... so with his free hand he opens the box, and begins to read the first letter...

YN (letter 1): “Barry, its been literally 24 hours since you got struck by lightning... i’m slowly getting into a different routine... one that right now till you wake up or even if you wake up.. ugh barry there are alot of things i wish i could have had the courage to tell you before but i guess telling you like this is better than not telling you at all... i love you Barry Allen... those bullies in school and at the precinct they were right to call us bf/gf... i know that you probably won’t feel the same but i hope this also doesn’t change our friendship... i really miss you... oh ya i did say precinct, Singh gave me a job as temp csi... just until we know more about whether or not you wake up...i hope you wake up soon... its gonna be torture without you around. love YN.”

Barry set that one aside to open the next one... 

YN (letter 2): “Barry, i cant take this... today i started a filing system of all the case files and stuff. i was handed a bunch of boxes and things today... of old cases and forensics that you had aparently signed off on... i still haven’t brought myself the courage to come see you yet... i know it may be foolish but i know if i come by i’ll cry. i cant do that... i’ve cried enough to last a life time between all the bullying and you being comatose, im trying to find a safe haven in anything familiar. anyway hope you come home soon. love YN.”

thats when Barry decided to stop reading for the night... he closed the box and put it on his nightstand. cuddling up still holding you he too fell into a deep slumber.

the next morning 

he woke as you did to the sound of an obnoxious buzzing, you knew it was your phone and thus moved to grab it off your nightstand, you answered it putting it on speaker.

YN: “yeah...”

Singh: “there is a case its fresh, and ripe still can you come down?”

YN: “yeah i can text me the address.”

thats when you hung up the call, knowing that your own demise would be showing up to work knowing that barry was home and not there with you... now Barry having heard your conversation  with singh got up and started getting into a clean shirt and packing his csi bag as well as yours. 

YN: “Barry what are you doing?”

Barry: “whats it look like.... im coming with you...”

You got up going behind the changing cover grabbing your capris and your fave halter with the built in bra...

YN: “dont you want to take it easy? i mean you only just spent your first night back last night...”

Barry: “when have you ever known me to take it easy?”

You stopped for a moment amidst putting on your shirt...

YN: “never... but thats not the point  you should relax...”

Barry: “no what i need to do is come with you and show those bullies that you are not to be messed with...”

you were grateful to barry for that, but you still were concerned... you finished getting dressed and came out from the cover going over to Barry giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

YN: “thank you for being so concerned for me... ill be ready to go in a few minutes...”

you went into the bathroom and started on your hair, like normal Barry came in behind you after you finished brushing the hair, Barry began to braid your hair, for he knew it was difficult with such long hair to self braid, so for as long as you could remember.

Barry: “almost ready to go?”

you pulled out your phone and opened the jitters app and this time ordered 2 cappuccinos with extra whip & Chocolate drizzle... you knew the order would be ready by the time you guys got there...

you put on your shoes and smiled wide as arm in arm you exited the apartment with Barry. it made you feel normal once more. walking down the street towards jitters, Barry walking in stride with you inside jitters everyone there was impressed. they started clapping. 

the waitress handed you and Barry the cappuccinos and that when your phone dinged it was Singh with the address. you showed it to Barry who walked ahead of you to open the door of Jitters and walk out the door with you.

Barry: “lets go and see this crime scene... its just up the block...”

approaching the crime scene, you and Barry flashed your badges. officers starred at you guys, some of them clapped and welcomed Barry back...

Singh: “so this is your daily surprise! welcome back Barry!”

Barry: “than you Captain... for also looking after YN while i was gone... i know i have alot to make up for but i hope i can start by helping sweep the area for clues.”

Singh: “well then ill leave my 2 best csi’s to their jobs and ill expet a detailed report on your findings...”

you and barry nod, beginning to survey the scene. you went after prints and a few other things. Barry took photos of the scene, there was alot of blood and torn off limbs. 

YN: “whatever did this must have enjoyed themselves?”

Barry: “must have but wha...”

Barry kneels down and sighs...

Barry: “YN come here and bring gloves with sample collectors.”

you brought over the gloves and sample collectors, but saw the horror before your eyes at what appeared to be shedded skin. you and Barry decided to contain as much of it as possible, for testing and further investigation.

YN: “it looks like someone shed this like a snake...”

Barry: “it does but lets collect all the other evidence and head to the lab, we need to start on this ASAP!”

YN: “i cant wait to start this with you... i look forward to it. lets go... wait till you see the new filing system that ive done with the lab...”

Barry smiles walking back and grabbing both of your bags and walking back to you grabbing both your pairs of gloves and throwing them in the trash both yo and barry get a heroes escort back to the station. 

walking inside you felt safe, those bullies who had bullied you day in and day out didnt dare to bother you then for it became immediately clear that they wouldnt be able to touch you.

you led Barry up the stairs to the lab so familiar to both of you now. it was Barry who spoke about how the lab looked.

Barry: “i assume that you made these organizational changes cause it would be easier for us!”

YN: “yep, is that ok?”

Barry: “yep, now lets start the analysis!”

you and barry working together analyzing evidence something you had only dreamed about for the passed 9 months. but something didnt seem right, something seemed off... 

you went over to the computer while barry was getting lunch and accessed the street cam from the alley where you were attacked, you cut the clip of who or whatever saved you but something was off, you didnt know what...

Barry came back with food and saw you looking at the blur photo, he then realized that if something wasnt said soon, you were gonna probably never believe him... 

this however is when things fell apart... the entire lab went dark, Barry tripped over a chair dropping your shared lunch, then a figure with a slight glow about them appeared behind you and whisked you out of the lab with you screaming and kicking but it didnt do any good. 

this left Barry very distraught, this was what he was afraid of...  he used his speed to leave out of the fire escape and ran to star labs.

Barry: “you guys think i should be a hero well here is my chance to find out if i can be one... my friend, the one i spoke to on the phone, the one that i saved from being raped in that alley, the one that wrote me a letter for every single day i was in acoma, the one who in her first letter admitted she loved me, she just got kidnapped from our work, from our office, i need to get her back...”

Cisco:  “i have just the thing that you can use to conceal your identity to save your girl.”

cisco pressed a button and revealed a red suit with a lightning bolt logo. 

Cisco: “it will not burn nor crisp, it will move with you and allow your electrical current through your body, as well as communicate with us here, and it will also..”

Caitlyn: “it will also allow us to monitor your vitals and health in battle, as well as it gives us the ability to shock resuscitate you should anything happen to knock you unconscious.”

Wells: “we will be right here if you need us mr allen. Now Run Barry Run!”

Barry runs in a flash of red and yellow lightning to the suit and back out the door. Cisco pinged your location sending it to Barry, who runs faster finding that he can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for this.

Barry: “hold on YN im coming.”

meanwhile

in an abandoned werehouse near the docks you were being dangled by a chain over a big cylinder of some sort of stinky liquid. one of the bullies from the precinct was standing above you he was glowing, then he stepped into the light.

YN: “you killed those people, you shedded your skin... what the hell do you want?”

Carl: “well thats simple, i want to mate... see did you know that a reptile needs to mate every spring and sometimes its with their own offspring... well your not my offspring but you will do for the mating ritual, just have to make you like me first.”

you screamed as he dove toward you and shredded your capri’s and then dove into the stinky liquid below. you were horrified you tried to climb the chain but it didnt work, it was about 10 minutes later when the bully Carl came out of the liquid. 

Carl walked off the platform and over to the control panel he swings the chain probably making himself hard on hearing you scream, but that was also the moment when he grabbed you mid swing and pinned you to the platform.

at that moment something else came onto the werehouse property... or rather someone, someone who just so happened to hear you scream...

Flash: “hey lizard breath let her go...”

Carl: “why should i take orders from a man dressed in spandex?”

Flash: “first, of all its leather and second, thats not how you treat a lady.”

carl  just went back to roaming his hands along your body and all Barry could see was red, he took a risk and ran up the ladder and bowled into carl, though doing that caused you to go flying.

the chain came loose you were starting to slowly descend towards the liquid below. this cause another scream to leave your mouth, Barry upon hearing this takes a running leap of faith, catching you mid air he lands by the entrance holding you in his arms. 

Flash: “are you alright?”

YN: “i knew you would come for me... yes im okay... a little disoriented but am okay... but find him, he cannot be allowed to escape justice.”

Flash: “dont worry he wont...”

flash sets you down on your feet and speeds back inside, you hear a couple distorted grunts and then a woosh comes passed you. suddenly the same blur that saved you from the alley way the other night was now standing right in front of you.

Flash: “ive sent a anonymous call to the ccpd, they are dispatching some officeers to collect him when they do they will take him to Belle Reeve cause clearly he needs psychological and physical attention. but ccpd will be here soon, is there some place i can take you?”

YN: “i left my stuff in my lab back at ccpd, there is a fire exit at the back of the building, you can get in through there, its on the second floor. plus my csi partner and best friend will be worried about me, he is a little over protective, you know he has that over protective demenor that just makes me swoon whenever he is around. i’m so sorry you probably dont want to hear about this.”

Flash: “its okay, i kinda know how you feel, but lets get you back to your lab... can i carry you?”

You nod your head feeling strange but yet it didnt occur to yoou till your vision started to blur... Barry noticed it right away his visible features flooding with concern.

Flash: “hold on, miss, miss...”

Barry ran all the way to Central City General, where he proceeded to run you inside placing you in the care of some nurses he carefully but yet a bit quickly explained what happened. you had your ID in your shirt and you happened to still have your badge around your neck... 

they knew exactly who you were... the nurses took charge of you, Barry however left his ccell number with them as an emergency contact for her... he then went and ran back to star labs where he dropped off the suit and ran back to ccpd...

Singh walked in to find Barry lying on the floor unconcious... Barry having only been like that a few moments woke up slowly to singh shaking him gently...

Barry: “captain YN was taken it was carl and...”

Singh: “we know we have carl in custody who keeps raving on about a red and yellow blur rescuing YN...”

thats of course when Barry’s phone rang... 

Barry: “Barry Allen...”

Nurse 1: “Mr Allen My Name is Niomi, i am calling from Centra City General in regards to a YN YLN she was brought in by a guy in a red leather suit anyway she has been tested for a positive for snake venom... we are working on a cure, but can you come down?”

Barry having heard this, his face swarmed with panic flooding his initial facials... 

Barry: “oh god ill be there as quickly as i can... does she need anything?”

Niomi: “we got her a change of clothes from the gift shop on the house, but we do need to see her medical card and verify a few things... but mostly i think she would love it if you were here.”

Barry: “ill be there soon, my police captain is coming as well. thank you.”

Barry and Singh were out the door  faster than a speeding bullet, Singh used the siren to bypass all the evening traffic, arriving at the hospital they parked and ran inside. 

Naiomi instantly recognized the worried look on Barry’s face.

Naomi: “you must be barry...”

Barry: “where is she? ill verify anything that needs, ill sign whatever needs just let me see her please...”

Singh placed a hand on Barry’s shoulder and smiled lightly...

Singh: “ill verify and sign papers and information for YN, Barry you should be at her side...”

Barry: “thank you captain.”

Singh walks up to the desk, while Barry is led by Naomi to the room where you were solely placed. Barry’s expression was written clear on his face, he was seeing you the way you had probably seen him when he fell into coma. 

Barry: “please tell me what you guys can do to fix this?”

Naomi: “We are mixing more of the cure as we speak, the cdc is set up here already we had a few other cases like YN so we have been manufacturing it all day... its only a few hours away from being done. not to worry Barry, we willl do everything in our power to cure her, so you can tell her you love her..”

Barry looked at Naomi shocked...

Barry: “how did you...?”

Naomi: “simple ive seen enough people with pent up feelings of love to know the look when i see it... believe me mr Allen she is gonna be fine.”

Barry: “am i allowed to crawl into the bed and cuddle her in my lap, i wont knock out any of the cords i just want to hold her...”

Naomi: “come remove your shoes and place them on the chair with your coat and bag, ill help you get comfortable holding her so we can still have access to her IV for administering the cure.”

Barry did as asked, crawling into the bed holding you as he did, Naomi placed a blanket over both of you and turned the light on low. she left the room, Barry placed his phone on the table beside the bed. 

Barry: “im so sorry YN... i should have used my abilities, you shouldnt have been taken, not when i know i could have saved you. come on YN wake up, baby...”

Barry was lost in holding you close that he soon lost track of time, for a few short hours had passed before Naomi came into the room, Barry looked up his eyes blood shot from his having been crying. Naomi walked over to the IV Bag and replaced the bag and nodded at Barry whose eyes lit up.

Barry: “thats the...”

Naomi: “yes thats the cure. we will know if it worked within a few hours, try to get some rest Barry, when she wakes she will tell you i’m sure.”

Barry watched Naomi leave the room and gently leaned down to kiss your forehead...

Barry: “please come back to me, i love you...”

Barry knew how to tell if you were awake, he leaned the bed back almost all the way before he allowed sleep to over take him. it had once more been several hours before Barry was felt you move in his arms. 

you had been awake for a little bit but didnt move till now cause you wanted to enjoy being in Barry’s grasp.

Barry: “your awake!”

YN: “shhh not so loud, ive got a bit of a headache.”

Barry kissed your forehead gently and you stayed in his arm till you moved slightly and felt the iv start to sting... Barry helped you press the call button and Naomi came in...

Naomi: “YN glad to see your awake, i’m Naomi ive been looking after you. what can i do for you?”

YN: “im pretty sure the iv isnt supposed to be stinging is it?”

Naomi comes over to take a look...

Naomi: “it got a little out of place not to worry ill take care of that... you both can continue your little conversation...”

Barry and you watched Naomi fix your iv and put a new bag on before she left, you had been able to tell for a while now that Barry had something to tell you...

YN: “spill Barry... what is it that you want to tell me?”

Barry: “what do you remember about what happened to you?”

you had to think about it while leaning your head closer to Barry’s chest, the flashes of last nights events came rushing back at you.

YN: “carl was the shedding monster, he scratched me, he tried to rape me... Barry it was awful...”

Barry: “anything else..?”

YN: “yes there was a man, in red, with lightning speed, he saved me before i could hit the acid or whatever was in that container. he had this look about him like he knew me... like he was somewhat protective of me... but of course no where near as protective as you are Barry. why do you ask?”

Barry: “what if i told you that when i got struck by lightning it changed me...”

you looked up at Barry almost flooded with concern before you realized that ya it wouldnt surprise you if it did.

YN: “Barry any traumatic experience such as getting poisoned or getting struck by lightning changes a person drastically...”

Barry breathed in slightly before speaking again.

Barry: “what if i told you that getting struck by lightning it gave me abilities... ones that would allow me to lets say save you from getting raped in an alleyway, or from getting turned into snake woman...”

YN: “what if i said that i heard what you said last night...”

Barry: “you heard me say what...”

YN: “that you should have used your abilities, that i shouldnt have been taken, i heard you call me baby, i also heard you say 3 more words to me. but before we get into that... why wouldnt you have told me that you were the person who saved me right off the hop...”

Barry: “cause i didnt know if it would change how you felt about me. i read 2 of your letters the night i came home. i know how you feel about me... for many years YN ive stood by your side as your best friend and i always well, i was just kinda hoping that you’d... well ya know... fall in love with me...”

you smile and reach up with your not iv’d arm and cup Barry’s face... the glow in his eyes was only ever seen one other time before this moment by you, that was the night of your guys high school graduation where you both shared a drunken quiet moment in the school garden.

anyway long story short, Barry leaned into your touch and smiled.

Barry: “i love you YN...”

the kissing began quite quickly...

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 67

AHHHHH TIME FOR MY LOVELY DIAMOND TO FINALLY SHINE!!!! But for reals I really like how this chapter turned out. ESPECIALLY towards its ending like holy shit things gonna go down and I am super hype for it all. Anyway, I won’t keep ya from it any longer than I need to. Enjoy!

Previous: (lol I forgot to post Peridot and Pacifica on here oh well too lazy to do it now bleh) 

***

Chapter 67: Message Received

AFRRS, LGKUQ, FRBSGR, MBR TSAUI GDCA B RWKMZ HUSOFI UB GCBCW WTS KNJTK YBCB GIE WEDHV'F EEEMES HB DUL LQFGRMF XVAA DNJNXYX HWRT

It was an absolutely perfect summer evening. The low-arching sun splashed its warm, dying light across the vast grassy fields, casting long yet lofty shadows that almost seemed to dance across the barn’s weathered surface. A light, gentle breeze skimmed over the acres of farmland, as cricket songs began to echo throughout the hills, even as far as the open, forested valley where Gravity Falls sat far below. And this picturesque view was what the Gems were silently, contentedly enjoying, happy to have a much-earned moment’s rest after a long day at work on the drill. Though Ford had kept to the barn to work on a few odds and ends during this evening break, the kids readily joined in on it as they reclined up against Lion, easily relaxing as Steven strummed a pleasant tune on his ukulele. The trio would have been more than happy to let this peaceful scene continue for as long as possible, but of course, it all too quickly came to an end thanks to the interruption from a certain miffed green Gem.

“Ahem…” Peridot huffed as she stood over the kids. Her hands were positioned on her hips, a power drill clenched tightly in her grip from the work she was clearly intent on continuing.

“Oh, hi, Peridot!” Steven greeted her blithely.

“Welp, I knew this was too good to be true,” Dipper sighed sardonically as he sat up a bit. “What do you want, Peridot?”

“I want to know why we stopped working on the drill!” the green Gem scowled impatiently, nodding over to the Gems still watching the sunset several feet away. “Why are they just sitting there looking at nothing!?”

“Aw, Peri, we’re all just taking a nice little break,” Mabel grinned brightly.

“…A what?”

“We’ve all been working hard and we deserve to take it easy for a bit,” Steven explained. “I mean, just look at that view. It’s beautiful!”’

“It’s going to be blown to oblivion by the Cluster if we don’t get back to work!” Peridot countered crossly.

“Yeesh, tell us something we don’t know for a change,” Dipper remarked with something of a wry, knowing smirk.

“Working hard is important,” Steven added, still smiling calmly. “But feeling good is important too!”

“Yep,” Mabel soundly agreed. “Looks like you still need to learn about one more super important Earth concept, Peri. It’s called… ‘treat yo self’!”

“What are you talking about?!” Peridot fussed, thoroughly annoyed as she accidentally turned the power drill on.

“Hey!” Steven perked up upon hearing the buzzing drill. “What is that, a C?” The young Gem copied the noise on his ukulele, strumming a simple C chord that did, in fact, mimic the buzzing of the drill itself.  

“The drill?” Peridot raised a confused eyebrow, looking to the tool in her hand.

“Yeah!” Steven nodded, rising to his feet as Peridot pressed the drill up to an even faster speed. Or rather, an even higher note. “Oh my gosh! Now its music!”

“Whoa! It sorta is!” Mabel gasped, amazed.

“Only Steven could hear music in something like a power drill,” Dipper chuckled, amused.

“‘Music’?” Peridot asked. “What’s that?”

“Whaaaaa?! You don’t know what music is?!” Mabel exclaimed, aptly baffled. “Oh, girl, you are missing out!”

“Look, its like this,” Steven positioned his ukulele before strumming out a simple scale and singing along. “Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do!”

“Do, mi, so, do…?” Peridot repeated, clearly not following.

“Isn’t it pretty?” the young Gem sang, still singing along.

“That’s exceedingly simple,” the green Gem snarked, though she still mused on the beguiling process all the same. “Do, mi, so, it…”

“We’re making music.”

“What’s the point?” Peridot said, crossing her arms.

“The point, is… its fun!” Mabel chimed in, singing a bright note of her own in tune with Steven’s strumming.

“But why even bother?” the green Gem shook her head. “You’re not even making anything!”

“Well, if it isn’t anything, then why does it sound so good?” Steven asked with a good-natured shrug.

“I suppose its just interest, do, mi, so, do,” Peridot theorized as the young Gem kept his lighthearted tune going. “Devoid of substance or purpose, a hypothetical pattern… do, mi, so, ti… For the satisfaction of bringing it to completion!”

“…Sure,” Steven agreed, even if he didn’t really know what she was talking about.

“Should we tell her music isn’t usually that deep?” Dipper asked Mabel, aside.

“Eh, let her have her sciencey fun,” Mabel shrugged.

“Do, mi, so, it… Interest without meaning?” Peridot posed, surprised by such an odd train of thought. One that largely went against everything she had ever known back on Homeworld, much like everything else on Earth as a whole. “Solutions without problems…?”

“And then you just add words,” Steven said, gearing up for a proper song. “Here’s what I’ve been working on. Life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet Earth.” The melody was light and bouncy, carrying a message of the immense complexities and contradictions of the planet it was about, a theme that was not lost on Mabel, Dipper, or even Peridot as they all listened intently. “Is there anything that’s worth more than peace and love on the planet Earth, oh-whoooa, come on and sing it with me!”

“Sing?” Peridot repeated, still completely lost.

“The words relate to the key!”

“Key?!” the green Gem asked, even more baffled as she held a small key she had found in the barn up.

“If it’s a pattern, if it’s a pattern, than just repeat after me,” Steven encouraged, nodding over to the twins in the hopes that they’d do the same. Mabel was quick to jump on the offer first as she joined the young Gem in a brief duet. “Life and death and love and birth-”

“L-Life and death and love and birth,” Peridot attempted, albeit a bit shakily. After all, she had never really sung before, and until now, she had never had a reason to.

“C’mon, bro-bro, join in!” Mabel urged her brother in an excitable whisper. “Our plan is working!”

“First of all, you guys didn’t start this whole music thing off with any sort of ‘plan’,” Dipper retorted before finally breaking down into a small, if not somewhat flustered smile. “B-but, fine, just this once.”

“Now, you sing mi, fa, mi, mi, fa, mi, ti, la!” Steven instructed Peridot, who followed along easy enough as all four of them finished the chorus on a high, harmonious note.

“And peace and war on the planet Earth!”

“Ahhh! That sounded so good!” Mabel cheered happily. “Looks like its time to bring Love Patrol Alpha outta retirement with its brand new member, Peri!”

“I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean,” Peridot remarked dryly. “But what I do know is that was so easy,” she finished, as if suspicious by that fact.

“Yeah, but that’s what’s so fun about it!” Steven nodded, still strumming. “You should write something—you should write a song!”

“About what?”

“Whatever you’re thinking!”

While Peridot still didn’t largely understand the functional purpose of music or songs, she decided to take the young Gem up on this challenge and do exactly that. Making use of the rhyming patterns and lyrical progression similar to Steven’s song, the green Gem spent the rest of the evening crafting out her tune. A tune that, once it reached what she believed to be a satisfactory standard, she decided to present to not just the kids, but the other Gems and Ford as well that night around the fire.

“I guess we’re already here,” she began, standing before the collective group as they all listened in, intrigued and also slightly confused by the green Gem, of all people, suddenly bursting into song. “I guess we already know. We’ve all got something to fear, we’ve all got nowhere to go-”

Admittedly, the message of her melody was a bit disconcerting, or at least it was to the Gems as it reminded them of the dire straits they were up against when it came to the Cluster. Still, Steven, Mabel, and even Dipper nodded Peridot their silent encouragement as she carried on with the rest of her undoubtably passionate preformance.

“I think you’re all INSANE!” she accused truthfully. For certainly, a group of Gems and humans so dedicated to preserving a planet as bizarre and outlandish as Earth had to be out of their right minds. But then again, Peridot couldn’t claim to be much better, given the same goal they were all working towards together. “But I guess I am too… Anybody would be if they were stuck on Earth with you!”

A round of genuinely amused chuckles from the others followed suit, one that Peridot couldn’t help but take pride over, especially as Mabel and Steven both cheered her on even further. On Homeworld, such a display of pointless, aimless expression would have been scoffed off at best, punishable for at worst. But here, on Earth, this sort of thing was welcome, accepted, commonplace even. It was so strange, so unlike anything the green Gem had ever known that she couldn’t help but appreciate it all in some odd way. Because here, there were no expectations or set standards about what a Gem, or a human for that matter, could do or be. Here, anyone could do or say or think anything they wanted. Here, anyone and, at least as far as she’d seen, everyone was free.

“Life and death and love and birth and-”

Peridot remained slightly mystified by this newfound revelation as the next several days carried on, progress on the drill going sound and steady. The large number of hands on the project certainly made the work much lighter for everyone, as they all had their assigned tasks to carry out in inching towards its completion.

“Life and death and love and birth and-”

Over the course of the drill’s construction, Peridot had largely formed a steady rapport with all of the members of her once-tentative alliance. Amethyst was likely the first among these new bonds she had formed among the Crystal Gems at least. The purple Gem was, at least in her opinion, crass and loud and far too outspoken and brazen for her own good, especially considering the solid soldier status she had originally been created for. But gradually the green Gem had found herself growing used to Amethyst’s playful jabs and ridiculous quips, to the point that she could easily say that she respected her for the Gem she was rather than the Gem she had been made to be.

“Life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet earth.”

Peridot couldn’t deny that she had been forced to more or less swallow her pride when it came to her dealings with Pearl and Ford. The fact that each of them had an acute, impressive intellect that clearly rivaled her own was a bitter pill to swallow, but one that the green Gem largely had all the same. And in wake of her former bitterness towards the pair, she had found they actually had quite a bit in common, particularly when it came to their shared affinity for technology and science. Over just a few weeks, Peridot had gone from coldly shunning any tips or advice they had to offer on these fronts, to eagerly joining in the exchange of knowledge alongside the author and the white Gem, her former prejudices against them all but forgotten.

“Is there anything that’s worth more?”

It had largely taken Peridot the most time to grow accustomed to Garnet out of anyone else. On Homeworld, fusion between two entirely different types of Gems was a massive taboo, so the Gem leader’s very existence had originally offended the green Gem for reasons she found she wasn’t able to explain. It had taken her quite a bit of time to look past that singular fact, but once she had, she was actually able to see that Garnet was more than just the fusion that composed her existence. The Gem leader was brave, stable, sensible, and most of all patient, even with Peridot and all of her harsh words and sneers and insults she had once had for her and her teammates. And, when push came to shove, that was something Peridot wasn’t about to ignore, even despite however the rest of Homeworld would think of a Gem such as her.

“Is there anything that’s worth more?”

Limited as they were when it came to more of the heavy lifting, the kids still pitched in as much as they could. Since Dipper was largely able to keep up with Pearl and Ford and even Peridot when it came to the scientific side of the drill’s construction, that’s where most of his contributions were found. Steven and Mabel were less versed in the technicalities of the machine, but what they lacked in knowledge, they made up for in helpful enthusiasm. While Peridot had initially callously rebuffed their meager assistance, over time she had gradually come to accept it, perhaps even welcome it when it came to tasks that were too much for her to handle on her own. Overall, the concept of ‘friendship’ was still a new one to her, one that she only really had the information provided to her by Steven and Mabel to go off of. But if what she’d heard of it truly was correct, than it was safe to say that, like it or not, she had come to make friends of just about all of them, as odd and impossible as that might have once seemed.

“Is there anything that’s worth more than peace and love on the planet earth?”

***

It had taken quite a bit of time and a tremendous amount of work, but after weeks of plentiful effort from everyone involved, the drill was finally complete. The entire group stood admiring their handiwork, which was admittedly quite impressive. Despite its notably small cockpit, the drill’s point was sharp and formidable, fortified by titan’s ore to the point that there was no doubt it’d be able to penetrate the surface of the earth easily and safely. And hopefully, this machine, the product of their teamwork and determination, would be enough to end the threat that the Cluster posed to the planet Earth once and for all.

“Nice work,” Garnet congratulated Peridot in particular, giving the green Gem a friendly pat on the back for her hard work. It was enough to startle Peridot though, to the point that she flinched and took up a brief defensive stance, eliciting a collective amused laugh from the others.

“W-we really did it, huh?” Peridot asked, turning towards the drill with something of a small, proud smile.

“We?!” Steven gasped with sudden delight over the ongoing comradery.

“Heck yeah we did!” Mabel cheered, pulling out her camera. “C’mon, everyone get in close! My scrapbook just won’t be complete without a picture of our awesome drill!”

The others all gladly obliged as they bunched in together in front of the drill, all of them smiling (save for Peridot, who was rather confused as to what was going on in general) while Mabel snapped the photo. A memento that would be sure to memorialize their success long after the Cluster was gone and the drill had fulfilled its purpose.

“It is quite impressive, isn’t it?” Ford mused with a grin, looking back at the drill. “And with such a quick turn-around time too! Then again, I suppose we had no choice but to be quick with this, given the circumstances…”

“Oh wait!” Peridot interjected. “That reminds me, I need to check something!” The green Gem hurried over to the drill, rummaging around inside its cockpit as the others stood by, their spirits still collectively high over the machine’s completion.

“She’s come so far…” Steven noted happily, looking over towards Peridot from afar. “It feels like just yesterday that she was fusing with Bill and trying to kill us…”

“No, no,” Pearl shook her head. “That was several week ago.”

“Still, it really doesn’t feel like it was that long ago…” Dipper said just as thoughtfully. “Its kinda crazy to think that that Peridot used to be this Peridot,” he grinned as he nodded over to the green Gem, who clumsily face-planted after falling off of the drill before frantically running back over to the group.

“Coordinates!” Peridot shouted starkly. “We still need the Cluster’s exact coordinates in order to drill to it!”

“Uh, don’t we already know where it is?” Mabel asked with a confused frown. “It’s buried suuuuuper deep underground, right? Which means we could just bam!” She punched her fist dramatically, making a brief drilling noise as she did. “Drill right on down there and kiss that big bad Cluster goodbye!”

“Theoretically, yes, but I understand Peridot’s concern,” Ford agreed. “Regardless of how massive the Cluster might be, we’ll still need to know just how far down past the surface of the Earth it is. But who knows how we’d even access that information in the first place?”

“A-actually…” Pearl spoke up, apparently apprehensive as she averted eye contact with the others. “There’s a Diamond Base that may have those coordinates, but…. Getting there is going to be difficult.”

“How come?” Steven asked.

“Because its not accessible by warp pad. And it’s on….” The white Gem trailed off, directing her gaze, as well as everyone else’s to the bright nightly orb far above them all.

“The moon?!” Steven, Mabel, and even Dipper asked in awestruck unison.

“Yes, the moon,” Pearl replied rather flatly.

“Uh, how are supposed to get all the way up there?” Amethyst asked, hands on her hips. “I mean, we can jump pretty high, but I don’t think any of us can jump that high.”

“Hm, I suppose we have no choice but to construct a lighter-than-air spacecraft,” Ford concluded staunchly. “I’ve never really dabbled too much in advanced interstellar aeronautics before, but as far as I’m concerned, there’s never a bad time to learn!”

“Uh, actually, we’ve sorta been there, done that with the whole build-your-own-rocket thing, Great Uncle Ford…” Dipper pointed out. “It… didn’t really go all that well…”

“Wait, I know!” Steven exclaimed, turning to his pink feline companion as he snoozed peacefully in the grass nearby. “Lion! Can you make us a super special warp to the moon?”

Despite the young Gem’s enthusiasm, Lion responded dully, letting out a long yawn before rolling over to continue his nap. “Come on, Lion, we gotta do this to stop the Cluster!” Steven urged, flopping down on top of his still-sleeping pet. “If we don’t there’s gonna be no more Earth! No more fun times with your pal Waddles… no more Lion Lickers… no more naps-”

Apparently, this plea was somehow enough to call the pink beast to action, for he instantly perked up, rising from his nap as his eyes took on a pale white glow. While the others looked to Lion at absolute amazement at this shift, Steven simply stood by with a satisfied grin over his pet’s eventual compliance. “Guess it was naps.”

“Um, not that this moon trip doesn’t sound cool and all,” Dipper spoke up, aptly hesitant. “But how exactly are we supposed to breathe up there? I mean, I know its not a big deal to you guys,” he said to the Gems. “But its sort of important for the rest of us…”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that, Dipper,” Pearl assured. “The Moon Base has its own self-contained adaptable internal atmosphere that should be perfectly livable for any human.”

“Wow, Pearl, you sure do know a lot about this Moon Base place,” Mabel remarked with a curious grin. “Have you ever been there before?”

The white Gem let out a rather sharp, forced laugh at this, tension rising in her shoulders as she quickly rebuffed the question. “W-who me? D-don’t be silly, of course not! I-I’ve only ever… heard about it! T-that’s why I know so much about it!” The others all gave her something of a confused look at this haphazard outburst, but once again, Pearl deflected them all before any further questions could be posed. “N-now come on! We haven’t a moment to waste! Let’s get those coordinates!”

Since no one could really argue with such a vigorous command, the group was quick to follow after the white Gem to do exactly that. It took some doing, planning, and careful squeezing to fit everyone onto Lion (or in several cases, into his mane) all at the same time, but eventually they managed to figure it out. The pink beast hardly seemed labored by his many passengers as he instantly broke into a rapid sprint. His speed only seemed to pick up with each quick step he made across the wide fields until, suddenly, he let out an immense, mighty roar. The pounding sound was enough to pierce a hole into the very fabric of space itself, creating a large, glowing portal that he barreled into at top speeds. Lion’s large group of riders all held on for dear life, with only Steven and Mabel really enjoying the breakneck, wild trip as the pink beast roared another portal into existence. He continued this is steady succession, somehow increasing his speed each time as he ripped through each and every portal like a bolt of lighting across a stormy sky. Eventually, the collection of continuous portals became so radiantly bright that it practically blinded all of them, especially as they neared their destination. And once they did, everything seemed to finally stop all at once.

The space they landed in was large and dark, though none of them had a chance to take it in as Lion crashed out of his final portal, sliding across the floor before slamming into a far wall and knocking the Gems and Ford clean off his back. “Lion! Are you ok, bud?” Steven gasped, immediately alarmed to see that the impact had knocked the wind out of his pink pet. Fortunately though, Lion seemed no worse for wear as he took a much-needed moment to rest in light of all of the power he had just exerted.

“Aw, you poor baby!” Mabel gushed, generously rubbing the pink beast’s mane. “Who’s a good magical portal-maker? You are! You are!”

“I-incredible…” Ford mused, adjusting his glasses as he picked himself up off the ground. “I knew that lion was unusual, but I could have never guessed it was capable of something like this. Clearly, I’ll have to do more research on him in order to-” The author was quick to retract the hand he had extended out to Lion as the pink beast growled in warning protest. “O-on second thought, I suppose that could always wait for… some other time.”

“We made it,” Pearl spoke up, her tone serious as her gemstone emitted a bright light for them all to see by. Sure enough, the peaceful nighttime landscape of the farmlands were gone, replaced by cold sterile walls and floors that clearly hadn’t been touched in ages. Each of the rounded walls were adorned with what looked to be large murals, though without direct light upon them, it was hard to make out exactly what they were supposed to be of.

“Huh, weird…” Dipper mused, glancing around curiously. “You know, I sort of expected the moon to look more like… I dunno, the moon?”

“Well it sure is bouncy like the moon is supposed to be!” Mabel chimed in, taking advantage of the lack of gravity to take a high, unfettered leap into the air. “Come on, bro-bro, you’ve got to try this!”

“Mabel, I don’t know if that’s such a good—w-whoa!” Dipper gasped in alarm as Mabel suddenly yanked him up into the air along with her before sending him spinning freely high above the ground, despite his best attempts to anchor himself back to the ground.

“Hah! Look at me!” Steven chimed in, joining in on the anti-gravity antics as he let himself float freely. “I’m a moon boy!”

“Yeah! Alright, moon boy!” Amethyst cheered him on, leaping to join the kids up in the air, only to end up falling right back to the ground instead. “Hey! Why can’t I be a moon boy?!”

“We’re Gems,” Peridot pointed out with a scoff. “We’re a space-faring race designed to conquer other worlds. Our physical forms adjust automatically to the gravity of any planetoid.”

“Aww… lame,” the purple Gem groaned, sticking her tongue out in disappointment. Right behind her, Dipper and Mabel softly landed on the floor in a jumbled heap of limbs as Ford hurried over to help them up, all while trying to stay grounded himself.

“You know, it just occurred to me that I probably should have told Stanley we were going to the moon…” the author noted as he carefully pulled his nibblings up to stand. “…Ah well, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Uh… yeah…” Dipper said, exchanging an uneasy glance with Mabel as they remembered just how harshly the conman had reacted to their last attempt at a trip to the stars. “We… probably shouldn’t tell him about this, just… just ‘cause.”

“I was bouncin’ on the moon one day!” Steven sang brightly as he continued free-floating, only to end up smacking into one of the walls and hitting the ground a moment later. He let out a small groan as he picked himself up off the floor, only to spot the large mural of what looked like a tall, elegant woman on the wall beside him. “Huh? Hey, Peridot! Who’s this supposed to be?”

The green Gem gasped as she shined the light of her own gemstone up at the mural, recognizing the blue, cloaked, graceful figure well. “It’s Blue Diamond!” she exclaimed, taking on an air of immediate reverence before the massive mural. “W-wait! Are they all here? Ah, yes!” Peridot rushed over to the far side of the chamber, where another similar depiction of a different, but still just as regal figure, awaited. “There she is!”

“There who is?” Mabel inquired curiously as her and Dipper joined the pair before mural.

“Behold!” Peridot proclaimed dramatically as she threw an arm out at the stern, stately woman on the wall before her. “Yellow Diamond! Isn’t she magnificent?”

“Uh… sure…” Dipper deadpanned, not particularly impressed.

“Whoa…” Mabel mused, much more fascinated. “She has a really long neck. Like a giraffe!”

“W-wha—you can’t just say something like that about the Yellow Diamond!” Peridot chastised, offended. “Whatever a so-called ‘giraffe’ is…”

“So, who are the Diamonds anyway?” Steven asked. “They seem like a pretty big deal.”

“Are you joking me?!” Peridot scoffed. “The Diamonds are the Gem matriarchs! Together, they make up the Great Diamond Authority that governs Homeworld and all the outlying colonies. We live to serve them!”

The green Gem’s explanation was cut short from a disgruntled hum from Garnet. The Gem leader stood over them, her expression cold and disapproving, a look that both Pearl and Amethyst shared. Even Ford seemed to be bitterly averting his gaze away from the Diamond murals for some reason, making it quite apparent that not everyone seemed to share Peridot’s high opinion of them. “I-I mean…” she recanted with a bit of an anxious laugh. “We were all made to serve them, even if some of us… don’t anymore.” A beat of awkward silence passed at this, though Peridot was quick to fill it by hastily changing the topic altogether. “H-hey! I think that’s a control service over there! Let’s take a look!”

Steven and Mabel readily hurried after the green Gem, curious to see more of the mysterious Moon Base. Dipper, however, did stop short to steal just another somewhat distrustful glance at the visage of Yellow Diamond on the wall before him before moving on with the others. Likewise, Garnet and Pearl in particular exchanged something of an uneasy glance before turning away, both of them knowing all too well exactly who the Diamonds were and what they were capable of.

“I think this is right…” Peridot muttered, examining a nearby panel on the floor. “The material is different from the surrounding stone. If I just do this…” She trailed off, pressing the panel, which in turn, emerged from the ground, alongside several others to create something of a floating staircase all around the edges of the base’s central chamber. The green Gem let out a bright giggle at her discovery, beside herself with excitement over getting to see a space that so few other Gems would ever have the chance to visit.

“This is so incredible!” Peridot gushed as they began making their way up the long, winding staircase. “Only the most elite of the elite can enter these sanctums. We are literally walking in the footsteps of the Diamonds!”

“They must really like stairs,” Steven pointed up as he bounded up them.

“Ooo, what’s this cool glowy orb room?” Mabel asked as they passed through to a higher part of the tower. Sure enough, the room was engulfed in darkness, its only notable feature being the large, rotating spherical light floating in the center of it, its purpose more or less completely unknown.

“Its not what we came here for,” Garnet said sternly, pressing on ahead.

“Can we hurry it up?” Amethyst asked with a huff of impatience. “This place gives me the creeps.”

Since they had get to get what they’d come here for in the first place, no one protested as they finished scaling the lengthy floating stairway, only to finally emerge at the tower’s top. Compared to the base they had arrived in, this deck’s walls were composed almost entirely of clear class windows, giving an open, grand view of the lunar landscape surrounding the structure. The pale, cratered surface of the moon stretched far and wide in every direction, the dark, star-speckled expanses of space itself hanging high above. It was an incredible view, to put it simply, one that the kids all took in with apt awe as they took a moment to pause and take it all in.

“W-we really are on the moon…” Steven practically whispered, completely stunned.

“I can’t believe it…” Dipper shook his head, just as amazed. “I mean, talking about it is one thing, but… we’re actually here, like its nothing. This is totally insane and honestly? I love it!”

“So do I!” Steven quipped, sharing Dipper’s bright smile.

“Ah, I wish I could join in on the excitement you boys are feeling,” Ford said wistfully as he put a hand on each of their shoulders. “But after traversing countless dimensions far beyond the realms of plausible imagination, the surface of the moon is… relatively underwhelming by comparison.”

“Oh my goodness!” Peridot suddenly squeaked, catching everyone’s attention. The others all joined her near the large white throne at the center of the room, coupled by a pristine table surface resting before it. “This looks like it could be brand new!” the green Gem exclaimed, running her hands over the table. “I mean, it’s a relic by today’s standards, but golly! Its so elegant! So simple! So perfect!”

“Ooo! And it makes a great whiteboard too!” Mabel quipped as she drew a smiley face onto the otherwise spotless surface with a marker she had happened to bring, much to Peridot’s horror.

“Stop that this instant!” the green Gem huffed, snatching the pen away from her. “You’re desecrating an important tool of the Diamonds themselves! Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?!”

“…Huh. Well, disrespectful or not, it does brighten things up a little in here,” Mabel said, taking on a wide grin to match the smile she had drawn on the table. “See?”

“No,” Peridot deadpanned sullenly.

“Hey! Its got one of those glowy hand dealies!” Steven pointed out from his spot on the throne behind them.

“Y-you can’t sit there!” Peridot chastised hotly.

“Why not? Its really cool.”

“That chair is only for the most elite Gems,” the green Gem explained, exasperated. “You can’t just go around sitting where an elite would sit!”

“Well, they aren’t here now, right?” Steven grinned, patting on the ample space next to him on the throne. Peridot hesitated in taking him up on his offer before finally folding, climbing up to join him and laughing in spite of herself over the forbidden pleasure of the act.

“So, uh, what’s this thing supposed to be?” Dipper asked, casually plucking a pale, crystal-like object embedded on the chair’s armrest.

“Put that back!” Peridot fussed before turning her attention to the other controls the throne had to offer. “Hm, ok… let’s see here…” The green Gem experimentally pressed a button, which brought the throne much closer to the control panel, allowing her to properly activate it and begin searching through its holographically projected screens for the data they needed. “Ugh, this is a really old system…” she noted to the others as she began picking through what the panel had to offer. “Just gotta find the right file and… aha!” The projection filled with various graphs, maps, and other information, all of which clearly regarded the Cluster, which Peridot readily translated out for all the others. “There’s the insertion point. Looks like the Beta Kindergarten in Facet Nine. It’s the smaller of the two, not nearly as impressive as yours, Amethyst.”

“Uh… thanks?” the purple Gem shrugged dully.

“But where is the Cluster now?” Pearl asked, a hint of urgency in her tone.

“Hang on… oh! There it is!” A diorama popped up, depicting the vague shape of the Cluster itself, buried deep under the surface of the Earth. Where it would hopefully remain until their drill finally put an end to it. “It’s embedded deep into the mantle. Relative to the barn is roughly two thousand, five hundred units down. All we need to do is feed this data to the drill and we should be all set.”

“T-that’s it then!” Pearl said, pleasantly surprised. “Mission accomplished!”

“Go team!” Steven cheered brightly over their success.

“Huh, its not often that something like this goes this smoothly,” Dipper noted. “Weird.”

“Weird or not, let’s get the heck outta here,” Amethyst remarked, already leading the way back towards the stairs. “The moon is way more boring than I thought it’d be.”

“Wait! Maybe it doesn’t have to be!” Mabel chimed in, glancing back over the control panel. “Hey, Peri, does this thing have any games on it? Or movies?”

“Pfft, no,” Peridot scoffed. “This wasn’t used for ‘games’ or ‘movies’. It was used for planning the colony. Here, look.” The green Gem activated another file, which just so happened to catch the dwindling attention of the others as they looked over the projection of the planet Earth before them. “So here’s a map of all structures that were originally built on Earth,” Peridot scrolled through a list of the blueprints for structures that included the Galaxy Warp, the Kindergarten, and several others. “All told, this probably only accounts for maybe five percent of what was originally planned.”

“What was the plan?” Steven asked, somewhat apprehensive to find out.

“Well, let’s take a look.” With a single press of a button, the holographic Earth rapidly deteriorated, massive gaps cutting through its surface, its landmasses ruined and its oceans drained, replaced by an inhospitable mess of a planet conquered by Gems and Gems alone. A horrific sight to everyone present, given its implications. All except for, unsurprisingly, Peridot. “Ta da! A finished Earth colony!” she exclaimed proudly. “Just look at this! 89 Kindergartens, 67 spires, a Galaxy Warp in each facet, efficient use of all available materials! What were you thinking shutting this operation down? It could have been great!”

“No!” Garnet exclaimed suddenly, sharply. “You’re wrong!”

“What are you talking about?” Peridot sneered, baffled. “Its perfect! Look at it!”

“We are looking at it,” Pearl said coldly.

“Yeah! This plan stinks!” Amethyst huffed, properly angry.

“Completing this colony would have meant the extinction of all life on Earth!” Garnet said, just as upset by indeed, what could have been.

“And I thought Cipher’s intentions for the Earth were bad…” Ford muttered to himself, shaking his head. “This is… well, I don’t know if I’d say its worse, but I’d certainly say its arguably just as terrible.”

“Seriously…” Dipper shuddered in fearful disgust. “I mean, we knew Homeworld was awful, but this… this is on a whole other level…”

“Well, it could have been on a whole other level,” Peridot remarked rather callously. “If it had actually been allowed to reach its full potential. Think of the good it could have done! The Gems that would’ve been made, our empire expanded!”

“And all that would have been lost along with it…” Pearl continued bitterly, shamefully. “Rose Quartz believed all life was precious and worth protecting. That’s why she risked everything to stop this colony from happening!”

“Well, if she wanted to protect it, she did a lousy job!” Peridot argued back haughtily. “There’d be no Cluster if the Earth had stayed a colony. Now there’s no colony, and there’s gonna be no Earth. So thank you, Rose Quartz! You doomed the planet!”

A thick cloud of hostile tension pierced the air at this, outraged silence remaining in light of the green Gem’s snide, thoughtless remarks. Wishing for the completion of Homeworld’s twisted, destructive plans for Earth were one thing; but mocking Rose and her bravery and sacrifice was something that Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and even Ford, all of whom had known her personally while Peridot had not, could not simply ignore. Their sharp, furious glares were focused entirely on the green Gem alone, something that the kids instantly noticed more than Peridot did herself. And while Dipper couldn’t really find that much of a reason to rush to the green Gem’s defense after everything she’d just said, Steven and Mabel tried to all the same.

“Heh, aw, y-you guys know Peri!” Mabel shrugged, laughing nervously. “Always sayin’ wacky stuff she totally doesn’t really mean… right?”

“What?” Peridot countered, confused and clearly not about to recant her stance.

“Y-yeah!” Steven rushed to chime in and quell the swelling anger from his guardians in particular. “A-after all, don’t forget: I-is there anything that’s worth more tha-”

The young Gem instantly went silent the moment Garnet snatched Peridot up from her seat by the front of her uniform, keeping a tight grip as she stared down at her with unseen, untold amounts of ferocity. “You,” she began, her voice edged with tranquil rage as the green Gem’s frightened image reflected back at her through the Gem leader’s visor. “Listen to me. Now. You are talking about things that you do not understand.”

Steven gasped the moment he saw a gauntlet materialize around the Gem leader’s free hand, and even though he didn’t agree with the green Gem’s poor choice of words and actions, he knew he couldn’t allow this hostility to continue any further. “Garnet, stop!” he pleaded fearfully. “P-please, its… its not worth it. We’re done here; we got what we came for. L-let’s just… go home…”

Acting upon the young Gem’s nearly tearful request and nothing else, Garnet did as he said, loosening her grip on Peridot and allowing her to clumsily fall to the floor. And then, in a single swift, powerful swing, the Gem leader brought her gauntlet down upon the control panel before her, smashing it—as well as the last remnants of the fortunately failed colony it contained—beyond all hope of repair. Without a word, the Gems turned to leave the same way they’d came, Ford joining them as they all turned their back on the green Gem, on the moon base, on everything they knew Rose had fought so hard to stop in its tracks.

“Tch, figures you still haven’t really learned anything,” Dipper was the first to speak up as he also prepared to leave, though not before sending one final, clearly disappointed remark Peridot’s way. “Even still, after all this time. Honestly, I can’t even say I’m surprised, knowing you.”

“Aw, come on, Dipper,” Mabel hurried after him as he turned on his heel and walked off. “That’s not fair and you know it!”

“What’d I say?” Peridot asked as the twins left. “I was just stating a fact. The rebellion didn’t really ‘save’ Earth, it just delayed the inevitable.”

Steven sighed upon hearing this, partially taking up Dipper’s line of reasoning that, even after all this time and everything that had happened, Peridot was still just as stuck in her stubborn ways as ever. “That’s not the way they see it,” he nodded after his guardians sadly. “They’ve spent thousands of years trying to protect the Earth. I thought… maybe… you finally understood why… But I guess… I guess I was wrong…” The young Gem sighed once more, shaking his head forlornly. He had thought Peridot had come so far, from the hand ship, from her time on the run, from Pyrite. He had thought she had grown and learned and come to appreciate the Earth and all it had to offer from her extended stay there. He had thought… that they all were finally, finally friends.

But in the end, none of that had mattered as much to Peridot as it had to him, clearly.

Steven only paused briefly at the foot of the platform the throne rested on, noticing that the green Gem hadn’t come down along with him. He knew they couldn’t very well leave her there, especially given they still had a mission to complete, and despite his rather mixed feelings about her at the moment, he still called up to her all the same. “Peridot!”

“What? I’m coming!” Peridot retorted, hurrying town the steps. Steven watched her silently as though he froze in sudden confusion upon catching the briefest flash of something in the green Gem’s hand as she passed him by. Something she hadn’t had when they arrived there, and something he knew, she clearly wasn’t supposed to have.

“Let’s go, you two,” Garnet called from the larger staircase and Peridot didn’t hesitate to hurry on ahead. Steven hesitated for another brief moment however, keeping his sights on the green Gem alone as he wondered with a sense of newfound worry and fledgling distrust exactly what it was she planned to do.

***

The trip back from the moon to the barn was silent and awkward, to say the least. After Peridot’s haughty remarks concerning the rebellion and Rose Quartz, neither the Gems nor Ford were too keen on carrying on any sort of conversation with the green Gem, despite the kids’ best efforts to break the thick tension. All the same, the collective group made it back to Earth aboard Lion safe and sound, carrying with them the final piece needed to complete their extensive work on the drill. A victory that, by all accounts, should have felt much more triumphant than it actually did.

“So how much longer ‘till we can use the drill?” Amethyst asked with a huff of impatience as they all gathered around said drill once more.

“Well, with the new coordinates we got from the Moon Base,” Pearl began. “It should be ready to go. But we really should preform some tests first…”

“Still, it stands to reason that we should be able to take it down to the Cluster itself within the next few days, at least,” Ford theorized, glancing up at the drill. “That is… if we even have that much time left.”

Despite the pertinence and importance of the ongoing discussion, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were all only barely listening in on it. All three of them were preoccupied by a number of contrasting thoughts and feelings, from muted frustration on Dipper’s part, to fretful worry on Mabel’s, to growing suspicion on Steven’s. Suspicion that was entirely focused on one certain green Gem and the unknown device the young Gem had seen her secretly snatch away from the Moon Base.

In fact, in the last hour or so alone, Steven’s suspicion and apprehension had grown so much that he found he couldn’t really keep it to himself any longer. For all he knew, it could have very well been nothing, which was why he had decided against voicing his concerns to the Gems. So instead, he chose to confide in someone who was sure to both believe him and help him get to the bottom of things: the twins.

“Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second?” Steven whispered to Dipper and Mabel while everyone was still distracted with the drill. “A-alone?”

While neither of them knew where the clear dread in the young Gem’s tone was coming from, neither Dipper nor Mabel denied his request as they all slipped away to gather just shy of the barn’s entrance. As soon as they were out of the Gems’ earshot, Steven turned to them with a clear sense of urgency, one that caught them both off guard, even as he spoke his piece.

“I didn’t wanna worry the Gems or Mr. Ford, especially since we’re so close to being done with the drill,” he began, glancing down. “But… I-I think Peridot might be up to something.”

“What, you mean aside from offending everyone by wishing that the Earth had been hallowed from the inside out?” Dipper retorted somewhat sardonically.

Mabel, on the other hand, was much more genuine in her response. “W-what do you mean she’s up to something?” she asked, the slightest hint of fear in her tone. Fear that the green Gem could very well be slipping out of the progress she had made and back into her old, sinister ways.

“I… I saw her take something from the Moon Base while we were leaving,” Steven explained. “I’m not sure what it is, but… I just… I have a bad feeling about it.”

“Well, who can blame you?” Dipper said, crossing his arms. “Peridot pretty much just proved that she hasn’t changed a bit. Heck, for all we know, her trying to ‘get along’ with us could of just been one giant act this whole time. A way to trick us into thinking she’s ok before she comes in with another hairbrained attempt at destroying us so she can get back to Homeworld or something.”

“B-but then why would she work so hard to help us with the drill?” Mabel cut in, anxiously, earnestly. “Dipper, I know you’ve never really trusted Peridot, and I know Grunkle Ford and the Gems are all super miffed with her right now, b-but I don’t think she wants to hurt us or the Earth anymore! You even said so yourself: the Peridot we know now isn’t the same Peridot that first came to Earth or fused with Bill! She’s different than that; she’s better than that. I-isn’t that right, Steven?”

The young Gem was initially silent upon being met with this question, his indecisiveness being conveyed through his expression alone. “I-I… I really wanna believe that, Mabel…” he said sadly, averting both of the twins’ pressing gazes. “But… I just… I’m not…” He sighed, his mounting conflicting feelings towards the green Gem and her incriminating words and actions all becoming far too much to bear. “I… I just don’t know,” he finally answered truthfully. “Not anymore. I thought I did, but… I think we need to find out exactly what that thing she took from the Moon Base really was and why she grabbed it. J-just to make sure.”

Mabel let out a small, worried sigh at this, but all the same, she nodded her quiet agreement, even if she still dreaded what they might possibly find out. Dipper, on the other hand, was much more forward when it came to taking action concerning the green Gem where his sister was not. “Fair enough,” he consented evenly, though his cold expression softened as he glanced over at Mabel. “But… just in case we find something that… you—we may not like… I just… you guys know that we’ll… have to do something about it… right?”

Steven and Mabel exchanged a brief, equally despondent glance, both of them knowing this was absolutely true. If on the unthinkable chance that Peridot really was planning some underhanded scheme, it was their responsibility to put a stop to it, or at the very least inform the Gems about it. For all of the good will and camaraderie they had formed with the green Gem over the past several weeks, the thought that it could all fall apart in an instant had never really occurred to them. Until now, when it seemed as though there was a very high likelihood of that very thing happening.

On another nod of tight, terse agreement between the trio, they decided to make their move. Peridot hadn’t joined the others out near the drill, instead opting to carry on with her own, unknown devices inside the barn. It was there that the kids found her, her back turned to them as she apparently fiddled around with something, no doubt whatever she had taken from the Moon Base. She was quick to slip it away, however, the moment Steven spoke up to garnish her attention.

“Uh… Peridot?” he began, aptly apprehensive.

“Oh! Steven, Dipper, Mabel!” the green Gem gasped, startled as she spun around. “W-what are you three doing here?”

“We, uh… sorta need to talk to you, i-if that’s ok,” Mabel ventured, not making to much of an effort to hide her constant worry.

“Uh… s-sure!” Peridot agreed stiffly as she followed the kids inside of the cabin of the old, run-down truck parked inside of the barn. “Why are we in this broken-down vehicle?” the green Gem asked, genuinely confused.

“I don’t know,” Dipper said, sending her a cold, suspicious glare. “Why don’t you tell us?”

“…What?”

“Uh, a-actually,” Steven interjected as he glanced towards the hand Peridot was holding behind her back. The hand that held whatever secret she was trying her hardest to conceal from them all. “We wanted to ask you about… the Diamonds?”

“Oh!” the green Gem perked up instantly, excitement sparking in her eyes. “Well, I don’t know what the others have told you, but there’s a reason they’re in charge.”

“Oh yeah?” Dipper asked flatly, clearly not caring about this means to an end. “And why’s that?”

“Because they’re objectively better than us!” Peridot grinned brightly. “Every Gem has their own strengths and weaknesses, but not them. They’re absolutely, totally, completely flawless beings. Especially my Diamond: Yellow Diamond, the most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider to ever exist in the universe!”

None of the kids really knew what to say concerning this, all of them knowing that Peridot’s incredibly high view of her matriarch was likely very biased. All the same, if her testimony concerning Yellow Diamond was anything, it was proof that the green Gem’s admiration for both her Homeworld and her Diamond still very much stood. “Y-you’re really loyal to her, aren’t you?” Steven asked, not masking his fledgling disappointment at this fact.

“How could I not be?” Peridot rebuffed. “We may have our little truce, but I’ll never forsake the Gem I was made for! And why would I? I mean, she’s an impeccable, impossibly wise powerhouse of a leader! E-even if she does actually happen to be in league with…”

“In league with who?” Mabel pressed, a newfound burst of hope filling her as she caught onto the smallest hint of doubt towards the Diamond filling the green Gem’s tone. But whatever that doubt might have been, Peridot was quick to shake it away in favor of her former adulation.

“O-oih, never mind, its nothing,” she scoffed with a wave of her hand. “J-just some ridiculous rumor I once heard from someone who is absolutely not a reliable source for anything. A rumor that certainly does not bear repeating, especially at the risk of my Diamond catching wind of it!”

“W-well then you better keep it down,” Steven said leadingly, seeing an opportunity and deciding to take it. “Because she’s right behind you!”

“What?!” Peridot gasped, spinning around in alarm and finally giving the young Gem a chance to swipe the crystal she was holding onto away from her. The green Gem barely even had time to react to the theft as the kids rushed out of the truck, slamming the door right in her face as she tried to scramble after them.

“Hey! What do you three think you’re doing!?” she shouted, banging on the window fiercely.

“What’s it look like?” Dipper countered just as harshly. “We’re shutting down whatever it is you had planned!”

“I-I didn’t have anything planned!” Peridot protested, though her bristling posture told otherwise. “Now let me out of here!”

“Save your strength,” Steven shook his head, holding the stolen crystal tight and close. “You’re up against one of Earth’s greatest trapping technologies: the child safety lock.”

“No!” Peridot wailed, sinking back into her seat dramatically. “How could you do this to me? The great and loveable Peridot!? I thought we were finally friends like you wanted!”

“We thought that too, Peridot…” Mabel frowned, genuinely upset. “But then…”

“But then I saw you sneak this off the Moon Base while nobody else was looking!” Steven filled in, his tone much more intense and angry than it usually was as he held the crystal up. “What is it? Tell us!”

“Hmph, its nothing special,” Peridot scowled at the trio from inside the truck. “And definitely not important at all.”

“Oh really?” Dipper asked challengingly, grabbing a hammer lying discarded on the floor as Steven readily held the crystal up to him in shared defiance towards the green Gem. “Well, if its not important, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if we just smash it, huh?!”

“NO!” Peridot practically shrieked before finally, sullenly relenting. “Ugh, all right, look. I have a plan. Allow me to explain. That’s a… communicator. Meant for the express purpose of contacting the Diamonds back on Homeworld.”

“What?!” Dipper asked sharply, so outraged and alarmed that he nearly brought the hammer down on the communicator right then and there until Steven pulled it away at just the right time.

“Y-you’re still trying to contact Homeworld?” the young Gem asked, horrified.

“Yes, of course I am!”

“B-but… but we thought you were finally starting to like it here on Earth!” Mabel exclaimed, desperate for proper answers where they really were none.

“Oh, you don’t get it,” Peridot countered evenly. “I’m not trying to leave, not anymore! Instead, I’ve got it all figured out. You simple clods keep trying to protect the Earth, but you can’t do anything right! I’ll admit I let myself get carried away too… laughing, singing, building our little machine… but don’t you see? None of that matters! What matters is that I can be of use to Yellow Diamond! This planet can be of use to Yellow Diamond! I must contact her, to reveal what I’ve discovered!”

“Are you actually serious right now!?” Dipper exclaimed in appalled disgust. “You said so yourself that the Diamonds were the ones who put the Cluster in the Earth in the first place! They’re the ones who want to see it destroyed now, just like they did with that whole colony plan we saw on the moon! You really think they’re gonna stop any of that now?”

“Oh, of course they will!” Peridot said, thoroughly confident in her plan. “If I could just have a chance to talk to Yellow Diamond, then I’m sure I can get her—as fair and reasonable as she’s known to be—to see that this planet could still be a viable asset to Homeworld’s empire. And what’s better is that once she sees things my way, the Cluster will certainly be shut down and the Earth saved. Isn’t that what all of you want?”

“Not like this we don’t!” Steven protested admantly. “Ugh… why do we keep sticking our necks out for you? You’re never gonna be on our side! Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!” Upon calling out for his guardians, Steven raced off, Dipper trailing right after him so they could reveal Peridot’s heinous plan for what it truly was.

“No! Steven! Don’t get them!” Peridot shouted after them, pulling hard against the locked truck door until she happened to spot Mabel, still lingering beside it. “Mabel! You believe me, don’t you!? Then release me! Now!”

“P-Peri…” Mabel began quietly, tears of clear betrayal finally starting to well up in her eyes as she looked back at the green Gem. A Gem that, up until now, she really, truly had seen as a friend, regardless of everything she had said and done in the past. Even if that friendship had clearly meant nothing Peridot, despite her best, yet futile hopes otherwise.  “Peridot,” she said firmer, wiping away her tears to regard her sternly, yet still so sadly. “I… I’m sorry…” she said as she finally turned away, even though she was the one who had nothing to appologize for.

***

A round of shocked gasps rose from the Gems the instant Steven and Dipper presented the communicator to them. Even Ford balked at it, apparently familiar with the device somehow, even as Pearl took it and frantically reaffirmed what it was.

“S-she took a direct line to the Diamonds?!” the white Gem exclaimed in horrified disbelief. “From the Moon Base?! What was she thinking?!”

“She was ‘thinking’ that she was gonna use it to call Yellow Diamond so Homeworld could just come here and pick up right where they left off with that colony plan of this!” Dipper informed hotly. “And she almost got away with it if we hadn’t stopped her just in time.”

“And its certainly a good thing that you kids did,” Ford agreed, casting a bitter glance towards the barn. “To think that we spent so much time with her, but we never saw this sort of underlying treachery coming. Honestly, I thought that I’d at the very least be used to betrayals of this scale by now. In a way, its almost disappointing that I’m not.”

“Ugh, for reals, after everything we’ve gone through, she’s still out to get us!” Amethyst growled sharply. “That’s it! I’m takin’ back all my cool nicknames for her! So long P-dot and P-diddy, hello… AUGH! I’m too mad! I’ll think of something later!”

The round of incensed reactions to Peridot’s deception continued, even as the green Gem honked the truck’s horn almost constantly from her “prison” inside of the barn. Only Steven and Mabel paid any attention to it though, their expressions awash between disappointment, morose, and frustration all at the same time. “I see she knows what a horn is now…” the young Gem noted sourly.

“I’d been meaning to teach her that one…” Mabel sighed, turning away, forlorn.

“You two offered her a lot of your trust,” Garnet noted to the pair, her hands on her hips.

“We did!” Steven huffed. “And it blew up in our faces!”

“I just… maybe we thought that… if we could be her friends then maybe she’d finally stop trying to do all of the bad things she came here to do…” Mabel said, burring the bottom of her face inside of the collar of her sweater. “But I guess she was never really our friend after all, huh?”

“No, she wasn’t…” Steven concluded, shaking his head as he looked back to Garnet. “You guys have been protecting the Earth for thousands of years. She could’ve destroyed all that. I… I don’t know why we thought we could change her mind…”

“Oh, come on, you guys, none of this is your fault and you know that,” Dipper attempted to console the pair as he stepped between them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “You both always try to see the best in people, and I’ll admit, sometimes I just don’t get it. But then again, maybe its because I’m not able to see things the way you two do. You both tried your best to change Peridot for the better, and in the end it just… didn’t work, but that had nothing to do with either of you. Its just… sometimes you can’t really change what people think, no matter how hard you try.”

“But that’s just it,” Steven countered with a frown. “We don’t want to tell her what to do or what to think. She should just… know, shouldn’t she?”

“Steven…” Garnet began, her tone as steady as ever, though sympathy was clearly there as well. “You always believe in everyone. Like your mother, you seem to have a little more patience than the rest of us. That’s a trait you share too, Mabel. But on the same hand, Dipper’s also right. The truth is, not everyone deserves that patience.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Pearl cut in with as much of an encouraging smile as she could muster. “At least you got this thing away from her before she could do any real damage.”

“Yeah…” Steven and Mabel both smiled at this, glad to know that, despite Peridot’s burning betrayal, in the grand scheme of things, the Earth would stay safe. Until…

A sudden explosion rattled the entire area, its center being the barn itself as one of its sides was effectively blown clean off. Everyone turned with apt alarm to see a familiar green robot bursting out of the building, leaving a trail of clear destruction in its wake as it stormed towards them, piloted by a manically laughing green Gem all the while. “Free! Freeeeedom!” Peridot proclaimed, making an obvious beeline towards them. Or more specifically, towards the communicator they now possessed instead of her.

“What?!” Ford exclaimed, quite surprised to see that Peridot and McGucket’s robot was still functional at all.

“H-how did she escape?!” Steven asked with newfound fear over the bot bounding their way. He quickly got an answer, however, as the green Gem’s bot chucked one of the truck’s doors towards them, only barely missing the kids as it landed hard in front of them.

“Fools!” Peridot shouted triumphantly. “Your invisible rotary shield was no match for me once I applied logic!”

“Yeah! Whatever little bit of logic you actually have!” Dipper taunted back, only for Ford to narrowly pull both him and Mabel out of the way of the rest of the truck Peridot launched at them in turn.

“Now, I’m going to do this right…” Peridot grinned, prepping her bot to take on the Gems as they rushed towards her, their weapons drawn for the fray. The green Gem lashed out, wasting no time on her opponents as she quickly knocked Garnet aside. The communicator passed hands between Pearl and Amethyst a number of times, but in the midst of their frantic tossing, Peridot managed to intervene, snatching the device away just before the white Gem could nab it. “See!?” the green Gem exclaimed, hitting both of the other Gems away just as they tried to steal it back. “None of you know what you’re doing!”

With the communicator finally in her grasp again, Peridot wasted no time in making a hasty retreat in order to get it out of everyone else’s range. However, none of the others were willing to let the green Gem go through with her alarming plans so easily.

“Ohhh, ok! I’ve been ready for this!” Amethyst exclaimed angrily, quickly shapeshifting her form into a sizable, functional helicopter. “Get in!” she shouted to the others, her tone fierce enough to curb any and all comments as they all piled into her surprisingly roomy cockpit.

“Oh, of all the times for me to leave my hyper-sonic magnetic propulsion gun at home,” Ford shook his head as he made sure the twins were secure in their seats. “That would have been more than enough to take Peridot and her robot out in a single shot. Then again, Fiddleford worked on that robot and he usually built his inventions to withstand mine on purpose, so… maybe not.”

“Wait, where’s Steven?” Pearl interjected, noticing that the young Gem was the only one not seated in Amethyst’s cockpit.

“Stupid Peridot, stupid robot!” the young Gem fussed to himself from just a few feet away, still caught up in his earlier woes. “Why did I always have to go and encourage her in the first place?!”

“There’s no time for feeling horrible,” Garnet called as she shapeshifted her arm to reach Steven and pull him onto her lap. “We have to catch Peridot before she contacts Yellow Diamond.”

“That’s right,” Pearl nodded, patting Steven’s head. “You can feel horrible all you want back at the temple.”

With all of her passengers finally ready to go, Amethyst took off, her propeller speeding her onward across the farmland Peridot had already gotten a head start on. All the same, it didn’t take long for the purple Gem to catch up to the rampaging bot, which was in the midst of struggling to twist the communicator the proper way and failing completely, much to Peridot’s growing frustration.

“Grr, come on…” the green Gem growled to herself as her robot’s stubby claws fumbled with the communicator. “Work already, you insipid little-”

“Hey, Perisnot!” Amethyst taunted as she suddenly flew right by the green Gem. Peridot gasped in alarm as the purple Gem overtook her, Garnet and Pearl each launching their own attacks from her cockpit. The white Gem’s spear clipped the robot’s hull first, though the Gem leader’s launched gauntlets were what ended up actually taking the bot down. The blast was enough to knock the machine into a nearby power line, giving it enough of a zap to disable it entirely. As battered and broken as the robot was, it tumbled down the hill before its scattered pieces came to rest in the wide field below, including Peridot and the communicator she had been holding onto.

It took the green Gem a moment to pick herself up and regather her bearings after the crash, but as soon as she spotted the communicator lying in the grass just a few feet away, she didn’t hesitate to spring towards it. Right before she could reach it however, a sudden blast from above derailed her, knocking her back as she briefly glared up at its source.

“Well, I may not have hyper-sonic magnetic propulsion gun,” Ford remarked with a smirk as he spun a much smaller, simpler blaster in his grip. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t go out unprepared.”

For once, Peridot didn’t send any sort of snide remark back as she instead refocused her efforts on the communicator. At the same time, Amethyst went in low as everyone unboarded her, allowing her to resume her usual form as everyone rushed to stop the green Gem before it was too late. They all pounced on her more or less at the same time, creating an essential dogpile as they all scrambled to secure the communicator first while further destroying the robot in the process. Peridot herself only barely managed to sneak out of the wreckage, though she wasn’t as unseen as she had hoped, for only seconds later, Steven was upon her, with Mabel and Dipper following suit right after. The four of them all leapt for the fallen communicator at once, creating an uproarious struggle with no clear winners in sight.

“You’re not gonna get away with this!” Steven shouted as he tried his best to yank the communicator out of Peridot’s hands.

“Yeah!” Dipper added just as fiercely. “If you think you’re actually going to let you get in touch with Homeworld, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

“And you’ve got another thing coming if you think you can stop me, you pesky, persistent pebbles!” Peridot snapped, trying her best to kick the kids away to no avail.

“Augh! You don’t get it, do you!?” Mabel cried as she pulled hard against Peridot, finally letting her grief and frustration with the situation as a whole pour out. “We trusted you! We all trusted you! We all wanted you to change and be better than this, but you’re not!”

“We spent all that time bonding and hoping and caring about you!” Steven added amidst the ongoing struggle. “But it was all for nothing!”

“And that’s exactly your problem!” Peridot bristled as she finally pulled the communicator out of the kids’ reach. “Your emotions rule out reason! You waste all your time ‘caring’ and ‘trusting’ when you could be spending it actually doing important things like saving this pathetic planet! Which is why if none of you will, then I’ll make sure to do what must be done!”

None of the kids had a chance to counter this as the green Gem suddenly snapped the communicator on. The device’s surface instantly enveloped itself in a radiant yellow glow as it rose into the air, far out of anyone’s reach as Peridot laughed excitedly over her victory. “She’ll sort this out…” she grinned, more than ready to detail everything she had planned to her Diamond.

At the same time, the Gems rushed in, grabbing all three of the kids as the communicator continued to brighten. Everyone save for Peridot herself was quick to take cover out of sight behind the fallen robot as the communicator opened up, creating a holographic screen that flashed with the visage of four different colored diamonds. Peridot’s growing excitement grew practically manic as the telltale insignia faded away to what she hoped would be Yellow Diamond herself.

“This is the Yellow Diamond control room.” Instead of the Gem matriarch, another Gem entirely appeared on the other end of the line. Her coloration was unquestionably and appropriately yellow and her attire simple yet elegant all the same. However, what was most telling was her appearance, which was far too familiar for the kids in particular to not immediately pick up on, even from their hiding spot from afar.

“Is that… another Pearl?” Dipper asked, aptly dumbfounded.

“Ooo… she’s really fancy…” Mabel noted, somewhat impressed by her style.

“Who is she?” Steven asked Pearl herself, though the white Gem simply let out a harsh scoff at the question.

“Not all Pearls know each other, Steven,” she remarked rather curtly as the Yellow Pearl addressed Peridot.

“Who authorized you to make this call?” she asked, sending the green Gem a cold look of clear disapproval.

“N-no one,” Peridot answered stiffly, but truthfully. “B-but its an emergency!”

“That’s NO excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel!” Yellow Pearl snapped harshly, only for another voice to cut into the conversation entirely.

“Pearl.”

Yellow Pearl flinched at this deeper, calmer tone, one that she instantly perked towards as she turned to its off-screen source. “Y-yes, my Diamond?”

“Why is there someone on the Diamond Line?”

“I-I don’t know!” Yellow Pearl exclaimed. “I was just about to tell her that-”

“I’ll take it from here.” The hologram suddenly shifted position, revealing exactly who Peridot had been hoping to speak to in the first place: Yellow Diamond.

Yellow Diamond was, simply put, absolutely radiant. Her poise and posture alone told of a figure with unspoken authority and power. Her figure was astute, elegant, yet firm and lithe, clad in a simple, stately uniform that was telling of a military leader. Her hair was short and angular, her features lovely, yet sharp and dark. In fact, just about everything about her could be summed up as sharp, from her large, pointed shoulder pads, to the shimmering stone resting on the center of her chest, to even her pupils: clear perfect diamonds resting amidst bright, vibrant golden yellow. She sat casually upon a crystalline throne, the vast expanses of space stretching out through the large windows behind her as she typed away on the countless number of holographic screens before her, sparing not even a passing glance at the Peridot who had been so bold as to contact her personally.

“Y-Yellow Diamond…” Pearl whispered fearfully, her trembling hands skimming her mouth as she tucked away behind the robot’s wreckage.

“Yellow Diamond…” Garnet echoed much more coldly, glaring towards the Gem matriarch from their unseen spot.

“Yellow Diamond…” Ford finished just as bitterly, though more to himself than anyone else as he set the depicted Diamond a personal scowl of ire all his own.

Meanwhile, Steven and Mabel exchanged a stunned, yet fearful glance, not really knowing what else to expect from the Gem matriarch based on her stern, severe appearance alone. At the same time, Dipper simply stared her down unflinchingly, knowing that despite Peridot’s foolish conviction, Yellow Diamond would likely still have every ill intent against the Earth. She was still a foe, no matter what she said or what she did and that was something that no attempt at pleading or appealing would likely ever change.

But that didn’t mean Peridot wasn’t going to try all the same. “M-My Diamond!” the green Gem saluted her leader respectfully. “Peridot, reporting in.”

“Which Peridot?” Yellow Diamond asked, her tone bored as she continued on with the work in front of her.

Peridot flinched at this, suddenly remembering something she’d largely forgotten about during her time on Earth. That she wasn’t really anything special; she was just one out of countless other Peridots, a fact that had seemed to fade into the back of her mind when she was on a planet where she was apparently one of a kind. “F-Facet 2-F-5-L, Cut 5-X-G,” she reported her designation dutifully all the same. “I’m sorry to contact you this way, but all other forms of communication have been destroyed, and-”

The green Gem starkly cut herself off as Yellow Diamond simply raised a hand to silence her, her attention turned away on one of her many data screens instead. “This says you’re behind schedule on your mission to…” She trailed off before finally turning to face her underling with a cold, calculated gaze. “How is… the Earth?”

“I-it’s… full of life,” Peridot said, with a hopeful shrug.

“Organic life…” the matriarch sneered in disgust. “And where is the Jasper I assigned you? And why aren’t you calling from the ship?”

“T-the ship was… destroyed…” Peridot admitted rather sheepishly.

“By whom?” Yellow Diamond asked, her eyes narrowing.

“I-it was destroyed by…” the green Gem trailed off, sparing a brief glance at the group hiding behind her. Her eyes briefly met Steven’s first, then Mabel’s, their expressions awash with equal fear that Peridot would rat them out to her Diamond. But instead, of all things, she didn’t. “N-no one!” she vouched, electing surprise from just about everyone in the concealed group. “There was an accident… while we were landing.”

Yellow Diamond sent a brief, disgruntled glare to her underling upon hearing this, but all the same, she was quick to return her attention back to work just as before. “I’ll inform your manager of your incompetence,” she scoffed dourly. “And what is the status of the Cluster?”

“The Cluster… w-will emerge shortly…” Peridot reported halfheartedly.

“Good,” the matriarch finally smiled in clear vindication over this fact. “We’ll finally have some use out of that miserable planet. Thank you for your report, Peridot. There will be a ship heading to your location to take you to your next assignment.”

“W-wait!” Peridot interjected hastily, anxiously. “I wouldn’t have called to waste your time with a report.”

“You already have…” Yellow Diamond scowled, though she still let the green Gem continue all the same.

“No, I-I mean… I… I wanted to…” Peridot trailed off, glancing down apprehensively. She was more than ready to divulge her ideas for preserving the Earth while also making the most efficient use of its resources for Homeworld’s benefit. And yet, just before she could, she was overwhelmed by a rather unsavory rumor she couldn’t shake, especially now as she stood before the Diamond it concerned herself. Which was why, despite the thin ice she already knew she was treading on, Peridot went off on an entirely different tangent instead. “I-I wanted to ask if…” she began, making sure to pose this question as carefully as she could. “I-if you’ve ever heard of a being who goes by the name of… Bill Cipher?”

The reaction to the demon’s name alone from both the Diamond and her Pearl was instant and telling. Yellow Pearl let out a sharp, fearful gasp as she cowered back in alarm. Yellow Diamond herself turned to fully face the green Gem, her previously icy expression instead filled with an undeniably angry sense of curiosity. Likewise, the group gathered behind the robot all carried their own startled reactions to Peridot bringing Bill up at a time like this especially, but even so, they listened carefully for whatever the Diamond might have to say about him.

“Where did you hear that name?” she asked, her burning gaze practically piercing Peridot cleanly through.

“I-I…” the green Gem hesitated, fear too afraid to fully divulge her dealings with the demon to her Diamond, so she went with a much simply explanation instead. “H-here, on Earth, m-my Diamond.”

“Hm,” the matriarch mused, her manner still largely unreadable. “And what gives you the impression that I would know of such a… ‘being’, as you put it?”

“H-he… he said you… t-that the two of you… had an… alliance?”

“What?!” Ford asked in a harsh whisper upon hearing this, the kids and the Gems all echoing his shock with startled gasps of their own.

“I-It can’t be true…” Pearl shook her head, trembling in apt terror at the very thought. “Please say it’s not…”

“Oh, did he now?” Yellow Diamond rolled her eyes, seemingly unconcerned by the green Gem possessing such knowledge. “How… amusing. Though I thought I made it quite clear to that… irksome demon that I did NOT want word of our partnership spreading to the lower ranks. But then again, listening has never been his strong suit…”

“S-so its true then?” Peridot asked, looking to her Diamond with immense, almost pleading dismay to hear the opposite. “Y-you really are working with him?”

“I fail to see how that information is of ANY concern to you,” Yellow Diamond countered as coldly as ever as she prepared to end the call right there and then. “Now, if that will be all then-”

“O-one more thing!” Peridot interrupted anxiously. Despite the effective confirmation of her Diamond working hand in hand with someone as dastardly and deceitful as Bill Cipher, the green Gem still believed she could make her matriarch see reason. Both in regards to the planet Earth and perhaps even in regards to what would no doubt be an ill-fated alliance with the dream demon unless someone helped her see the truth.

“What could it possibly be now?” Yellow Diamond asked, clearly exasperated.

“T-the reason I called…” the green Gem began, still quite nervous as she began to make her genuine appeal. “The real reason, wasn’t to give a report or to talk about Cipher. Instead, I… I believe we should terminate the Cluster!”

“…Why?” the matriarch asked, her quiet, yet icy voice and gaze sending shivers throughout the green Gem’s entire form.

“T-the organic geosystem creates resources unique to this world,” Peridot explained with rising hope that her Diamond would listen, even despite the matriarch’s clearly sullen expression. “We can’t sacrifice all that potential for one geo-weapon! I’d like to tell you some plans I came up with to utilize the planet without disrupting the local-”

“That’s enough,” Yellow Diamond cut her off swiftly and sternly. “I don’t care about ‘potential’ and ‘resources’.”

“W-what?” Peridot asked, taken aback by such a harsh rejection.

“I want my Cluster,” the matriarch said simply, succinctly. “And I want that planet to die. Just make that happen.”

“No!” Peridot protested, speaking before she could even think of what she was saying.

Now it was apparently Yellow Diamond’s turn to be taken aback, her sharp gaze focusing on the green Gem before her in a bitter, hostile glare. Her Pearl let out an appalled gasp at such a rebellion, but even so, the matriarch remained steady when dealing with it. “Are you questioning my authority?”

“I-I’m questioning your objectivity, m-my Diamond!” Peridot countered, offering her leader a quick, respectful salute. One that did nothing to quell the matriarch’s rising anger.

“Well!” Yellow Pearl huffed, shocked at such brashness. Her alarm grew even more when Yellow Diamond suddenly rose from her throne, standing at her full, massive, imposing height that towered well above the green Gem who had brazenly chosen to oppose her.

“You are out of line.”

“I-I just think-”

“I am not interested in the puny thoughts of a Peridot,” Yellow Diamond continued, ignoring Peridot’s best attempts at breaking through to her.

“But I-”

“You have disrespected this channel, and my time with your presence and you would do well to-”

“But-”

“Shut your mouth!” the matriarch snapped, finally silencing the already fearful green Gem as she continued in her outraged tirade. “You have failed at every step of your mission. Your only chance to redeem yourself is to obey this simple order: you are to leave the Cluster to grow. It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take immense satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our star maps once and for all! Is that CLEAR?!”

“I won’t do it!” Peridot shouted back with every ounce of courage she had in her. She had her worries before, from the moment she learned about the matriarch’s apparent alliance with Cipher himself that her judgement was questionable. But now, after everything she’d just heard, she had no doubt; Yellow Diamond didn’t want or care about what was best for the Earth like she did. The only thing she wanted was to see it destroyed, a plan that, after all the time she had spent there, all she had come to experience and see and learn there, all of the friends she had met there, Peridot refused to let come to fruition. “I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting!”

Upon hearing this, Steven and Mabel couldn’t stifle a shared smile, even while all of the others continued to watch the ongoing exchange with rising alarm. Regardless of her earlier slip-up, it seemed as though Peridot really had learned something during her time on Earth after all. Many things, in fact, and she was proudly displaying all that she had learned right here and right now for her Diamond, and for everyone else, to plainly see.

Yellow Diamond, however, was far from impressed by this callous defiance. “What do YOU know about the Earth?!” she shouted viciously, but this time, Peridot did not back down. Instead, the green Gem went in with everything she had and then some as she staked her claim and solidified what side she stood on once and for all.

“Apparently more than YOU, you… CLOD!”

As poised and calm as she had been before, Yellow Diamond’s regal manner instantly broke in raw, uncontained fury upon having such a disrespectful insult hurled at her. Her palpable outrage was more than enough to shake blind terror right back into Peridot as she quickly saluted out of habit more than anything else before hanging up the call. “P-Peridot out!” she exclaimed, grabbing the communicator and instantly ending the feed. Yellow Diamond and her Pearl disappeared from sight, though there was no question that on the other end of the line, the matriarch, wherever she was, was still absolutely fuming over the measly Peridot who had somehow worked up enough nerve to call her a clod, of all things, right to her face.

With the call over and the danger diminished, the others didn’t hesitate to emerge from hiding and head over to the green Gem’s side. Mabel and Steven were the first to embrace her in a tight, triumphant hug, both of them elated by her bravery and by the choice she had made, by all accounts, entirely on her own.

“Peridot, that was amazing!” Steven exclaimed with a delighted smile.

“Seriously, that was one of the coolest things EVER!” Mabel added, just as enthused.

“I can’t believe I just did that…” Peridot said, rather stunned by her own actions as she stared straight ahead, baffled.

“We were so wrong about being so wrong about you!” the young Gem said, more than glad to be wrong in this instance.

“I can’t believe I just did that…” Peridot repeated, still largely in a panicked daze.

“You thought you could change her mind,” Garnet said with the smallest of proud smiles.

“But Yellow D got torn down by the ‘Peri-dactyl’!” Amethyst quipped with a bright cheer.

“Uh, I know we’re all really excited about this, but don’t you guys think we should talk about the whole Bill Cipher and Yellow Diamond working together thing?” Dipper interjected with tight, anxious worry. “Because I really think we should talk about that.”

“I agree,” Ford nodded admantly, gravely. “On their own, the threat that each of them poses already can’t be understated but with Bill’s powers and Yellow Diamond’s resources combined, I don’t even want to think about what that could mean for the planet—no, the very multiverse itself!”

“Then let’s not,” Garnet said succinctly.

“W-what?” Pearl balked, confused as she shared Ford and Dipper’s understandable concern. “But Garnet, we have no idea what this heinous ‘alliance’ of theirs could mean for the Earth or for us or for-”

“There’ll be plenty of time to worry about all that later,” the Gem leader shook her head before turning back to the rather distraught green Gem. “For now, we have something to celebrate, so let’s enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Not yet we don’t…” Peridot sighed as she handed the communicator off to Pearl. “Can one of you take this?”

“Why?” Pearl asked as she took the device.

“Because it can be remotely detonated.”

A ripple of newfound alarm spread through the group at this, especially as the communicator began flashing a bright shade of yellow. “W-why didn’t you tell us that earlier?!” Dipper asked Peridot, who had simply resigned herself to lying on the ground, forlorn.

“How do we stop it?!” Pearl asked, holding the device as far away from her as possible.

“Just get rid of it!” Garnet ordered hastily.

“Amethyst, here!” the white Gem tossed it down to the purple Gem beside her.

“What am I supposed to do with it?!” she shouted frantically before Steven quickly grabbed it and securely bubbled it. Still, Garnet didn’t take any chances with it as she took said bubble and sent it flying far and high into the dawn sky with as much force as she could muster. Sure enough, the communicator exploded safely, creating nothing more than a quickly-dying firework that left nothing behind in its wake.

“Woo!” Mabel cheered excitedly. “Well, that’s one way to start a Saturday morning!”

“I’ll say…” Pearl agreed, letting out an anxious breath.

“I thought I could reason with her…” Peridot spoke up from her spot on the ground, still shaken over what she’d just done.

“Yeah, you made her really mad,” Amethyst chuckled, amused.

“And then you insulted her to her face,” Pearl added with a small smile.

“Which… was pretty amazing,” Dipper added, forcing a bit of a much-needed laugh, even despite the extenuating circumstances. “And honestly kind of hilarious. Even for you.”

”Do you know what this means, Peri?” Mabel asked with a wide, delighted smile. “We’re all best friends again! I knew you wouldn’t let us down when it really mattered and you didn’t! I’m so proud of you!”

“We all are!” Steven chimed in warmly. “And you know what else this means?”

“And I’m a traitor to my Homeworld?” Peridot asked morosely.

“Nope!” Steven’s grin widened as he embraced the green Gem once more. “You’re a Crystal Gem!”

“Whether you like it or not,” Garnet added with a wry smirk. The others all got a good laugh out of this, though Peridot herself simply let out a loud, long, mortified groan. Of all the things that could have happened, the green Gem had never once expected herself to actually become a part of the team of rouges and rebels who had stranded her on Earth to begin with. And yet, here she was, a Crystal Gem all the same, just as Garnet had said, whether she liked it or not.

And if Peridot was perfectly honest with herself, deep down, she truly did like it after all.

***

The receiving end of the Diamond Line shattered into thousands of iridescent pieces as it struck the far wall of the opulent chamber. Yellow Pearl squeaked out a gasp, trembling in fear of her Diamond’s infamous temper as she clung close to the massive throne beside her, watching as the matriarch vetted her immense fury without a single beat of hesitation.

“How DARE that insignificant little traitor try to make a fool out of ME?!” Yellow Diamond shouted hotly, her gloved hands clenched into tight fists as she paced around her spacious chamber. “Why, I haven’t seen such blatant, despicable disrespect and defiance from such a lowly Gem in thousands of years!”

“M-My Diamond?” Yellow Pearl spoke up with an unsteady, wavering smile. “I-if it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re a clod!”

Her attempt at a consolation was, however, completely ignored as Yellow Diamond continued her uproarious monologue. “If I didn’t have much better things to do with my time, I’d go down to that disgusting speck of a world and shatter that insolent whelp myself! Fortunately though…” the matriarch finally broke into a small, dark grin, even though it was clear she was still quite unhinged in her remaining fury. “The Cluster will take care of that minor aggravation for me…”

“I-it most certainly will, my Diamond!” Yellow Pearl piped up, only to be largely looked over by her matriarch once more.

“But even so, the audacity of that pathetic Peridot is absolutely appalling!” she scoffed bitterly. “To even claim that the Earth bears us any sort of use now, after everything it cost us! Its completely absurd! I don’t even want to think of what Blue would say if she heard such a ludicrous idea! Or even worse, what White would say…”

Yellow Pearl choked out a small, frightened whimper at this, though her fear only grew tenfold as a sudden, instantly recognizable voice let out a callous chuckle right beside her. “Ha! Yellow sure is HILARIOUS when she’s ticked off, huh, Canary?”

“AH!” Yellow Pearl cried, flinching away from the dream demon floating alongside her the moment she spotted him. Her surprise was quickly replaced with aggravated frustration, however, to the point that she didn’t even notice color swiftly drain out of the throne room altogether. “Augh! You again…”

“Great to see you too, Canary!” Bill quipped as brightly as ever, patting the Pearl on her pointed hair condescendingly. “It’s been WAY too long since I’ve caught up with you and Yellow!”

“Not nearly long enough, if you ask me…” Yellow Pearl grumbled sourly, though she did breathe a small sigh of relief as the demon turned his attention away from her and to her angry matriarch instead.

“Y-ellow, Yellow!” Bill greeted cheerfully as he suddenly appeared right in front of the incensed Diamond’s face. “How’s it goin’? I’m not interrupting anything important, am I?”

“YOU!” Yellow Diamond scowled, glaring the demon down harshly. “What in the stars do you think you’re doing, going around and haphazardly divulging confidential plans and classified arrangements to the most commonplace members of my court?!”

“Why, Yellow, I have NO idea what you mean…” Bill remarked, feigning innocence.

“You know full well what I mean,” the matriarch scowled, instantly calling his bluff. “The Peridot stationed on Earth! She said you made contact with her and laid out all of the undisclosed details of our alliance without my permission. And you’re going to tell me exactly why you did this instant!”

“Yeesh, Yellow! Better simmer down over there, otherwise ya might just end up SHATTERING yourself on accident!” Bill joked with a rather mocking chuckle. “Remind you of anyone you used to know?”

Yellow Diamond let out a disgusted, appalled scoff at this, her rage growing even more as she tried to swat the demon clean out of the air on her fury alone. “How dare you even mention what happened to her in such a way, you despicable-”

“ANYWAY,” Bill interjected quickly, hovering high and calm out of the furious Diamond’s range. “I wouldn’t worry about ol’ Greenie if I we you. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s really not the brightest Gem in the case.

“You mean the Peridot?” Yellow Diamond calmed somewhat, raising an eyebrow up at the demon. “Well, I certainly can’t argue with that, given her foolish choice to rebel against me.”

“Speaking of rebels…” Bill began leadingly. “You really don’t think Greenie came up with that whole ‘let’s save the Earth’ idea on her own, do you? Especially since you sent her there to check up on the very thing that’s supposed to blow it all to oblivion in the first place? Sorta makes you think that maybe… just maybe… someone might have… inspired her to act up like that, don’t ya think?”

“…What are you saying?” Yellow Diamond asked, narrowing her eyes at the demon curiously.

“I’m saying…” Bill continued, shrinking himself down so he could take a seat on the matriarch’s shoulder pad. “That all those pesky rebels you, Blue, and White thought you got rid of way back when… aren’t as ‘gone’ as you’d like to think.”

“WHAT?!” the matriarch’s stark, stunned shout echoed throughout the chamber. “Show me! Now!”

“If you say so, Yellow…” Bill almost cheerfully complied, gliding before the Diamond and using his flat form to present images of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl alike to her. “Not a ton of those Crystal Chumps are still kicking, but the ones that are sure are a pain in the equilateral sides, if ya know what I mean. Plus, they’ve even picked up a handful of human pals to help them out from time to time,” Bill continued, showing off each of the Pines as well. “As if they couldn’t get any MORE annoying, huh?”

“Hmph,” Yellow Diamond scoffed, seemingly unconcerned by the lot she had just seen. “A few mere straggling Off-Colors and their pathetic human pets are nothing. The Cluster will wipe them and everything else on that miserable rock out soon enough.”

“Yeah, suuuure it will,” Bill remarked with a flippant wave of his hand. “But here’s the kicker, Yellow. Take a look at who ELSE is still down there, having a GRAND old time spending the past several centuries celebrating ‘her’ victory over you-know-who…”

The matriarch gasped, her eyes wide as she noticed the image of a lone pink gemstone hovering over the demon’s open palm. A gemstone, that for all its infamy across all of Homeworld, she would have recognized anywhere. “Rose Quartz…”

“You got it!” Bill quipped, snapping the gemstone away. “Everybody’s FAVORITE Quartz is still alive and well, unlike a certain… ‘little sis’ of yours she went and wiped out of existence just to save some dumb old planet and a bunch of dumb old humans. Seems like a pretty raw deal that she got to survive when poor little Pinky didn’t… huh, Yellow?”

Yellow Diamond’s former fury was nothing compared to the absolute raw, wrath she was showing now. Her fists were so tight they were shaking, sparks of bright electricity bursting all over her form as her anger consumed her from the inside out. “A mercifully short end brought about by the Cluster is far too good for that… that shatterer…” she seethed, her voice quiet, but the fury in it as clear as day. “Cipher! I have another request for you!”

“Oh, do you now?” Bill asked, almost gleefully curious. “Well, lay it on me, Yellow! I’m sure I’d LOVE to hear it!”

“Bring me Rose Quartz before the Cluster destroys the Earth,” Yellow Diamond ordered coldly, viciously. “I want to be the one to shatter her myself, just like she shattered-” The matriarch cut herself off, her expression filling with pain that she couldn’t even bear to speak to, though she was quick to shake it away. “J-just… just bring her to me. Whatever it takes…”

“You know, normally I’d be all for that kind of hellbent revenge, Yellow,” Bill remarked calmly, casually almost. “But I think I’ve got an even BETTER idea for ya. Me and my pals have a little bit of… unfinished business to take care of down there on Earth in the not-too-far-off future. What do you say to the idea of joining us when we get down there—heck, make a whole trip of it if ya want, complete with your snazzy armada and everything!? That way, you can grind Quartzy up into a bunch of pink stardust the moment you see her, right in front of what’s left of her little army on her own doomed planet, just like ya want! What do you think? Sounds like a winner, just like ALL of my plans do, right?”

“Hm…” A small, vindictive smile filled the Diamond’s features at this. “Yes… The crushing defeat she deserves on the very planet she thought she won from us…. I do like the sound of that quite a bit…”

“So… I take it you’re in then?” Bill asked knowingly, stretching a blue, flaming hand out to seal the deal.

Yellow Diamond’s sadistic smile deepened at this, more than ready to exact the vengeance she had been craving for over 5,000 years now. “Yes, I am,” she firmly, readily agreed, returning the demon’s handshake to solidify their latest treacherous plan. “Rose Quartz’s years of running and hiding are over. Now, its her turn to face the very same fate she brought upon Pink…”

“Oh, Yellow…” Bill laughed more to himself that to the matriarch, knowing the truth that she didn’t and exactly how he could use it all to his advantage in his long, ongoing game. A game that was, by all accounts, very close to reaching its ultimate end. “You have NO idea…”

Next:

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘Brother’ Review

"Space: The Final Frontier. Above us, around us, within us. We have always looked to the stars to discover who we are."

By nature I love brevity: Star Trek: Discovery takes a long, clean breath of fresh air in this big, bold premiere that sheds the burdens of Season One and lets them roll down the hill behind.

Star Trek: Enterprise was canceled in 2005. And in the Fall of that year, as shows premiered, fans were faced with a sad reality: for the first time in 28 years, a new season of Star Trek was not among them. And for 12 years, this continued. And then we Discovered a new frontier. Breaking the silence of more than a decade, Star Trek: Discovery was a sign that Trek was not dead.

But of course, it was not without its flaws. Discovery Season One had issues with its tone and its dialogue. The crew, above and beyond their stilted, grandiose speech, rarely seemed like a family, or even a group of people who like each other. And the levels of anxiety and brooding were at dangerously high levels. We're talking Superman from Batman v. Superman levels of anxiety and brooding.

The fans pointed out these issues, though the good parts still remained (excepting the 'fans' who actively went out of their way to be openly hostile towards the series, its creators, and its viewers). And the team behind Discovery listened. 'Brother' benefits from a light and relaxed tone that feels like the lifting of a heavy curtain. The crew speaks in a generally human and natural manner, and they work together like a tight family. Brooding is nowhere to be seen, and the anxiety present is of a different sort than the cloud of deep worry that permeated Season One. Instead the viewer felt more of an empathetic concern about the characters and their lives.

The first and most immediate effect of 'Brother' is, in fact, to distance the show from its past mistakes. Associating these issues with the influence of Captain Lorca makes a lot of sense from a story perspective, even if the creators' insistence that all the darker elements were only a result of him doesn't quite sit right. From the outset, Captain Pike makes it clear that he is very different from Lorca. Everything about his manner and bearing suggests a completely different man from Jason Isaacs' power-hungry warmonger. But Pike is no Kirk, either, as one might anticipate. Anson Mount gives his Pike a humility and a grounded feel that Kirk never quite developed.

The other proverbial elephant on the starship is the presence of Spock. Though the adult version of our beloved half-Vulcan does not appear, his importance in the events of 'Brother' and the impact the mere allusion to the character has on the series is clear. We learn that he and Burnham's strained relationship is the result of her decisions, not his. It's clear she views him and his legacy as an oppressive force in her life, perhaps as a standard she could never live up to? There's a great shot that really sums this up, when young Spock makes his holo-dragon. The dragon moves toward Burnham, and roars at her, and Spock walks in through its mouth. I think that's how she sees Spock.

Sarek and Burnham's conversation about reverence also factors in. This show has decided to include a character that most fans undoubtedly have a lot of reverence for. But to make him a useful character, with an arc and a purpose, reverence is not enough. The massive weight of Spock's impact on Star Trek and the fans' adoration of him will be a problem that Discovery will have to deal with.

Moving to our regular cast, I loved how they were dealt with here. The other side of Lorca's effect on the Disco crew is that such a major and personal adversary has brought them together and made them rely on each other. All of the returning cast felt like a family around each other, and their interactions made the ship feel like a real workplace run by a real team. This is a major improvement from last season.

It looks like Burnham's journey this season will be thoroughly intertwined with Spock's. I look forward to seeing her relationship with him and how it develops, but I do hope they give her a role to play apart from and outside of the shadow of her foster brother. Likewise, Stamets seems overshadowed by the impact of someone else. Everything around him reminds him of his lost love Dr. Culber, and he's having a very hard time dealing with it. It seems like the end of this episode was enough to get him at least a little bit excited about science again, though it's unlikely that this is the end of his plotline about leaving the ship. With Wilson Cruz brought on as a full cast member for this season, it'll be interesting to see where this goes.

Tilly and Saru don't seem to have much in the way of an arc yet, but I'm sure this will change. I expect most of Tilly's story this season will have something to do with her enrollment in the Command Training Program. Saru mentioned his sister Siranna, from the Short Trek 'The Brightest Star,' and the showrunners have stated that we may see other Kelpians this season, so expect to see a visit to Saru's home planet of Kaminar sometime in the future. Maybe siblings will continue to be a theme this season.

Overall, 'Brother' was a pretty epic way to kick off the new season. It's fun and engaging, with a lot of potential. I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Strange New Worlds:

This section will record the planets the Disco visits and the places they go. Not a whole lot of that in this particular episode.

New Life and New Civilizations:

Here I'll keep track of all the new species, ideas, and cultures the crew encounters. Again, nothing in the way of that here.

Pensees (Thoughts):

-Mia Kirshner (Amanda) looks a lot like Amy Adams. She also really resembles Amanda from TOS, so that's nice.

-Stamets has a botanist friend aboard the Enterprise.

-In keeping with the Trek tradition of altering the intro, we have some brand new graphics added to the opening theme.

-Regulation 19, Section C allows a higher-ranking officer to take command of a starship in one of three contingencies: 1. An imminent threat; 2. The lives of Federation citizens are in danger; 3. There is no more qualified officer available to deal with the situation.

-I love Doug Jones' Saru walk. It's just so much fun to watch.

-That's the first shot we've gotten of a turbo lift running through a starship in all of Trek, if memory serves. Pretty cool, too.

-Another Alice in Wonderland nod. Also, holo-candles.

-Sarek mentioned that he's reached out to Klingon High Chancellor L'Rell (Mary Chieffo), and she had no explanation for the red bursts either.

-The Captain goes on the away mission, in true Trek tradition.

-There was a bit of Spock's Jellyfish ship from Star Trek (2009) in the design of the pods they flew.

-How cool was the pod sequence? Also, it was admittedly rather satisfying to see Olson Connelly get his comeuppance when he failed to pull his chute crashed and died because of the dumb risk he took.

-One of the ads loaded at the wrong time when I watched this the first time. The long ad break split a shot in half.

-I liked Reno (Tig Notaro). The idea of using an engineering approach to medicine is interesting, although I wouldn't want to be one of the first patients it was tried on.

-The Red Angel is still very much an unknown. I partially expect it will have something to do with the Klingons, if not only because they seem from the trailers to have a big role to play.

-The asteroid material wouldn't beam up. That's intriguing. It may be the key to fixing the spore drive, too, as it looks from the trailer that we'll be jumping again this season.

-'Not every cage is a prison, nor every loss eternal.' That's very interesting, and it has a lot of significance for Pike.

-It makes sense that the crew of the Enterprise would have issues with sitting out the war while on their five-year mission.

-The Disco's new Doctor is named Dr. Pollard.

-One of the names in the credits was 'Matt Decker.'

-A lot of references to faith/religion and related subjects in this episode. I don't think it's necessarily significant, but I thought it was worth noting.

-Alex Kurtzman directed this episode. I thought he did a great job; maybe he should stick to that instead of the whole coming up with ideas thing. I'm still baffled by the seriously weird and unsettling bits about Klingon anatomy from Season One.

Quotes:

Amanda: "I bless you, Michael... all my life."

Pike: "Do not covet thy neighbor's starship, Commander."

Pike: "Why didn't we think of that, Connelly? Think of all the syllables that gave their lives."

Pike: "Sometimes it's wise to keep your expectations low, Commander. That way we're never disappointed." Advice to the audience, perhaps?

Tilly: "I put her in a Utility closet, and I put you in there. I'm drunk on power."

Stamets: "Tilly, you are... incandescent. You're going to become a magnificent Captain because you do everything out of love. But I need you to repeat after me. I will say..." Tilly: "I will say..." Stamets: "Fewer things." Tilly: "Fewer thi- okay."

Sarek: "Spock has great reverence for his mother, but reverence tends to-" Burnham: "Fill up the room." It's the shot of Burnham's fairly empty quarters just as she interrupts that sells this one.

Pike: "Detmer - fly... good."

Pike: "I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?"

Pike: "Spock asked the most amazing questions. It's completely logical, yet somehow able to make everyone see that logic was the beginning of the picture and not the end."

Burnham: "There are so many things I wish I'd said to you; so many things I want to say now. I'm too late, aren't I? I can only pray I don't lose you again... brother."

A strong, solid premiere. 5 out of 6 damn red things.

CoramDeo is interested in things.