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secondbeatsongs · 1 year

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new year, new food crime

I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:

3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water) 3 packets unflavored gelatin 1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine) 1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20) 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced 1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups

now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.

so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns

but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.

I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.

what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.

delightful!

however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!

(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)

this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.

and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.

so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)

then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.

now, for the assembly.

I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.

…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.

(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)

after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.

13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.

hmmm

stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.

one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way.

ah, well.

to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.

then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.

after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.

carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.

and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…

…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?

like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely

vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…

I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:

the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting

it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled

let's cut into it

oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?

hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves

god. deeply unsettling.

now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.

but...how does it taste?

...

fuck.

I really like it

this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?

the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!

the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!

so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that

this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?

not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!

and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.

this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!

this is bizarre.

I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.

I actually love this.

I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.

cold, wet salad.

damp, even.

so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.

but is it fun to eat? I think so.

it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.

so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.

but I will be eating the rest of this.

weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.

an edit, a few days later:

I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.

in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!

food crime? no. food…

(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)

…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.

this is what cabaret is.

at least, that's what it is to me.

(create and consume at your own risk.)

#food crimes #food #beware the tags if you haven't clicked the read more #beyond this point there are spoilers #well. I dunno. can a food crimes post be spoiled? who knows. probably #anyway #you have been warned #cabaret #kabaret #aspic #gelatin #shrimp #by the way #I decided a reasonable serving is about 1/4 of this recipe #that was enough for lunch #serve it with a slice of bread and a glass of milk #and I think that'd probably be enough for dinner #for me anyway #idk how other humans operate #I did genuinely enjoy this by the way #this isn't a joke - I really genuinely loved this #there was something so pleasant about the texture #it's hard for me to explain #but it was delightful #joyous even #and I will make it again #oh! another thing #one thing that's the opposite of ''crime'' is ''justice''#so it could be ''food justice''#which is‚ if I'm not mistaken‚ what happens in a food court

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smile-files · 2 years

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teardrop for the win!

of course i have a bias for teardrop, but for several reasons i believe that they really are one of the best object show characters of all time - teardrop by definition changes the game while also changing as a person.

for one thing, if given a list of all of teardrop's areas of expertise, one would assume that she was a guaranteed winner - she is incredibly intelligent and cunning, knows how to author, draw, and code, can easily operate regular tools as well as firearms, can walk up walls, is quick on her feet with good balance, has an amazing throwing arm, can work under pressure, can shoot lasers out of her finger, and is astoundingly ambitious and laser-focused on winning. if ignoring the social aspect of challenges, teardrop would've easily won every season they participated in - which is all of them.

however, one can't ignore the social aspect of challenge-based shows like bfdi - and, whether they're in her control or not, that's where most of her shortcomings lie. the fact that teardrop doesn't speak affects how a lot of their fellow contestants treat them, often causing them to take advantage of teardrop in challenges or otherwise harass them. for that reason alone it can be incredibly difficult for teardrop to make friends, in teams or alliances, as most other contestants refuse to see her as anything but "the quiet one" (even well-meaning contestants refer to her with similarly reductive epithets).

aside from this, teardrop frequently has had little to no regard for the wellbeing of others, perfectly willing to hurt them if they bother her or if their pain gives her the upper hand. most of the time this has been in response to how others treat them, in that nobody cared about their feelings, so they weren't going to care about anyone else's; similarly, teardrop's ambition might've stemmed from a notion that since nobody cared what they wanted, they were going to take what they wanted. even so, teardrop's hostility has often affected people who have done nothing specific to hurt her, such as gelatin, leafy, or flower - out of an unadultarated drive for victory for all three cases, but for the last case also out of impulse. teardrop is notably very impulsive, frequently jumping into actions or decisions without considering all of the options or really thinking about how they might affect those around her. it's clear that teardrop has been here to win, not to make friends - or at least that's what she thought at first.

this initial picture of teardrop provides a fascinating dichotomy between her immense technical skills and meager social skills - both of which being essential to really succeeding in a competition (aside from helping in the team/alliance setting, social skills are important in making the viewer want you to stick around). and, sadly, because so few really accepted them as a person, nevermind a fellow contestant, teardrop's opportunities to utilize her skills and really help her team had been few and far between, meaning that for a significant portion of the series teardrop had been left to languish and be eliminated for no good reason.

i can't say that teardrop didn't get along with anyone before bfb's split; not everyone was actively hostile towards her, for one thing, and a select few were actually reasonably nice to her and actively engaged her in and out of challenges - like leafy, bubble, and especially needle. unfortunately, though, it's hard to find a needle in a haystack (pun intended)...

at the start of bfb, most people were treating teardrop like they always had - why, the first episode is titled "getting teardrop to talk", as even newbies were keen on harassing them about their lack of speech. right from the beginning of that season it was cemented in our minds that people still saw teardrop as a "silent type" with whom understanding is impossible. it was their trying to force teardrop to speak. it was their ignoring teardrop's nonverbal cues. everything seemed the same as always...

but if the first episode's title being named after her tells us anything, it's that bfb was the beginning of teardrop's ascension. into a winner.

before the split, teardrop did what they could to help their team, as they normally would; it was after the split, though, which marked their prime opportunity not only to make friends but also shine as a teammate.

her new team consisted of balloony, bubble, gelatin, leafy, lollipop, ruby, and herself - two people who were already nice to her, three who had never harassed her, and one with whom she was acquainted but who hadn't accepted her yet. i believe this group of people presented teardrop with the ultimate opportunity to not only succeed in the competition, but also grow as a person and get better at making friends.

throughout this new era teardrop got to help immensely in nearly every challenge while simultaneously having fun - they seemed to be a lot more comfortable with this team than with prior ones.

most importantly, she came face-to-face with how her actions affect others. a continuous victim of teardrop's impulsive violence was gelatin; this reasonably made him upset and uncomfortable. however, instead of fearing teardrop and treating them like a monster, he openly told them how he was feeling - actually treating them like a person with feelings themselves. and so teardrop could actually take a step back and think about how she made him feel, and then apologize the best way she could - she might not've been able to say she was sorry, but with her party for gelatin she definitely showed it. and gelatin recognized that.

(my favorite image ever ^)

and so the rest of the contestants began to recognize teardrop as well... there was a subsequent ripple effect from gelatin's open discomfort to teardrop's apology to him to a friendship with him to a friendship with lollipop, which in itself resulted in a willingness to risk their immunity for the sake of their friendship and alliance... which is completely unprecedented! teardrop is so driven to win that her willingness to potentially lose is shocking.

before this, teardrop only ever fought for herself; after all, there was really nobody else for her to fight for. teardrop had had amicable acquaintances, but they didn't really have friends who actually got on their level and put the effort into understanding them. and no, gelatin and lollipop hadn't always been that understanding, but via gelatin's kindness the two of them could now see teardrop in a new light - she wasn't mysterious and scary, but rather just fiercely determined... and misunderstood. they could now see that not only was teardrop a worthy competitor, but a worthy alliance member as well - all because gelatin extended that olive branch.

the newbie alliance, which teardrop was now welcomed into, flourished; the three began to understand each other like siblings; even if they weren't always successful in challenges, they cheered each other on through every loss, every elimination, not even letting a spot in the final divide them. teardrop came in third while gelatin was allowed to advance, but she wasn't angry at him - she was upset with the circumstance, of course, but was also able to move on quickly due to how proud she was of him.

and in the finale, the three worked together beautifully in the group's pursuit of four... and to gelatin and lollipop, their best friends, their siblings, teardrop was no longer "the quiet one". teardrop was the smart one. the perceptive one. the determined one. the one who can inexplicably walk up walls. gelatin and lollipop saw in teardrop what most people refused to, and so teardrop realized that not everyone will refuse to see the good in them. by the end of bfb, teardrop's strengths - all of those incredible technical skills mentioned before - are truly realized, now that they have the strength of their loved ones supporting them. bfb might've been the happy ending for gelatin and flower, but it was also teardrop's beginning.

teardrop abruptly left the scene of bfb for what we now know to be tpot - and her level of confidence is skyrocketing! they're incredibly bold now in a way that they never could've been before - as, even though they're away from their friends, teardrop still has their strength from afar. teardrop still is that ambitious little droplet we know and love; she never stopped aiming for the top, even after being eliminated in bfb. teardrop stuck around until the end, but once things settled down for everyone else, things just picked up once again for them.

it's notable that after a season of finally being able to thrive in a team/alliance setting, teardrop should now be competing on her own; i think this is incredibly interesting, as now she relies entirely on her raw power and talent. after all, not only does teardrop not have teammates to cooperate with, but they also lack the luxury of the chance to be saved from elimination by the viewers - as their team's loss is an automatic elimination for them. we can see that teardrop is struggling on her own, but at the same time her gun-slinging swagger is making her out as a worthy opponent to her fellow competitors. i wouldn't be surprised if somewhere down the line multiple teams want to alliance with them, as to harness this dark horse's power...

in addition, teardrop has really made a name for herself in the eyes of both the viewers and the other characters by joining tpot... the focus was put on them with their disappearance at the end of bfb; then that suspense culminated in their arriving at the setting of tpot; then two made an exception to let them join; then they were put on a solo team bearing their own name; then they somehow pulled through despite being solo. back in bfdi's days teardrop was easy to miss due to her early elimination and lack of screentime - but now the screen is hers. tpot doesn't stand for 'the power of two', no, but rather 'the power of teardrop'... because they're owning it.

teardrop really is coming into her own now, which is so amazing - with every step she comes closer to being the ultimate challenge, and i believe she has it in her to go far in tpot, even if she's at a major disadvantage. but then, teardrop has always been fighting the odds; they're a breakthrough character and a real paragon for the strength of communication, understanding, and friendship, all of which being central themes of bfdi as a whole.

teardrop is a guaranteed winner. i know she's going to do well and have a blast while doing it - and all the power to her! teardrop's already winning and nothing can stop her. come get your crown, teedster...

it's waiting just for you.

#melonposting #long post #bfdi #bfdi teardrop #bfb #bfb teardrop #bfb td #tpot #the power of two #tpot teardrop #tpot td #kin #not me rambling about why i'm the best object show character ever... haha...#i'm right though #also i have a newfound respect for gelatin #he's a real sweetheart and such a good sport. like that is my brother and i love him so much oh my god #bfb newbie alliance #gonna reread my newbie alliance fanfictions in a sec cuz man this is bringing back memories #newbie alliance my beloved <3 we won bfb in my heart <33 #to all my fellow teardrop enjoyers: let's gooooooooo #i felt so powerful when td joined tpot. like i got an adrenaline rush #i'm back baby! i'm back!!!!#now all i need is for jnj to make a teardrop plushie and i'll be set for life #cuz darn i'm really winning at object shows. i'm really winning #lol i am having so much fun. td for the win. amen #gun tw #tw gun

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