#genshin humor

[akko-kagori]

Plot twist: this is what Diluc has underneath his coat

[hitomisuzuya]

Gamer! Scaramouche x fem! reader. Humor. Fluff. Childe is in this. Drabble.

I'm in a light mood. I know you guys don't fancy my cutesy fluff as much as my smut, and I know no one is gonna read this 😂😅 This is also something of a tribue to the late, great Thurston Waffles.

Occasionally, Scaramouche liked to do live streams where he reacted to funny or dark humor videos. When he did this, liked to have you in his lap watching with him.

Sure, he found them funny, but watching the way you laughed at some of them was worth much more to him than finding humor in them himself. Or when you covered your mouth at some of the darker humor he found funny, trying not to laugh yourself. "Nooo. No, Scara, no. You shouldn't laugh at something like that."

Look at you, telling him what was what while sharing his sense of humor. How the hell did he land you, anyways?

"Speak for yourself, you are laughing to," He replied, trying to reach for your to take it off of your mouth. He wanted to see the way you were grinning behind your hand.

It was always adorable.

"Is she not laughing?" Scaramouche turned the camera more towards you, a question to whoever was watching.

"She is, it's written all over her eyes."

Scaramouche rolled his eyes. Childe. Of course he was watching if you were involved. If he could read it it in your eyes, he was watching you awfully intently.

Scaramouche suggested that you pick the next couple of videos. Incidentally, you picked some videos of Thurston Waffles. The funny cat who demanded walks even in the dead of winter.

He snorted when Thurston was at the front door demanded to go for a walk, meowing louder and louder until his owner relented. "What a demanding cat."

"Hmm, reminds me of you," Both you and Childe looked at him and said that at the exact same time. Scaramouche hissed, you giggled, and Childe laughed.

"Meant to be or what," Childe said, grinning in a teasing fashion at you that usually made girl pretty weak for him.

"Hey, Childe," Scaramouche said, balancing you in his lap while he reached on the ground for something.

"Yeah?" After Childe said that, Scaramouche threw a balled up piece of paper at the camera. God, he hated this ginger shithead.

"Fuck off," He snarled, probably looking very much like an angry, hissing cat with this claws out. Childe always knew exactly how to get under his skin.

"I'd rather fuck--"

"Finish that sentence, and you are dead," Scaramouche cut Childe off, making the red head laugh.

You had to soothe your angry cat. Putting a hand on Scaramouche's cheek, you kissed him. You swore you heard him purr against your lips. Childe counted 3 minutes of watching you swap spit before you pulled away.

"Feel better?" You asked, stroking your fingers down his cheek.

Scaramouche glared at you with flushed cheeks. "Mhm," He mumbled, pulling you against his chest and burying his face in your neck.

How he managed to land someone like you, he would never know.

What he did know is that he was very lucky.

[daze4all]

18+ Ways to Prison Break into the Fortress of Meropide

18+ Ways to Prison Break into the Fortress of Meropide

Traveler and Paimon brainstorm ways to commit a crime to get into the prison to save Childe and Co (aka 2nd pair of trouble twins Lyney & Lynette).

 And when all else fails to just stage a prison break. With friends

# 1 Traveler Cannonballs Paimon in as Emergency Food

# 2 An Underwater concert by a Surprise Guest Band is staged to Bring the Fortress Down

# 3 Crashing a prison concert could be just as viable.

Neuvillette: For even the God’s can be judged in a court of law *stares at just out of bed with a harbinger Zhongli and clearly drunk off his ass Venti* and I am very much judging you both right now.

Venti: *drunkenly winks and strums his lyre* or to better sum it up: We are all stuck in fortress meripeed fortress meripeed *as sung to the tune of the yellow submarine*

Paimon:  Paimon thinks we might need a long list for all our friends after this…  

AKA a chaotic commentary on prison break-in ideas by Genshin Character for Genshin Characters.   

[omgitssvpernxva]

[qiinamii]

five guardian yakshas vs one huge rat

bonus:

huge rat:

[dragon-ascent]

A collection of scenarios where you're trying to simp for Zhongli, but he's just so... nice.

★彡fluff, humor, Zhongli is dense (affectionate)

"Wow, Li. If you demanded me to make you a sandwich, I'd do it without hesitation!" you chirp as you watch your beloved god sip his afternoon tea.

"Oh my, I would never demand anything of you, my love," answers Zhongli, taken aback. "But if you did make a sandwich, I'd insist on sharing it with you. And perhaps next time I can make you one as well." He smiles warmly, oblivious to the way you're shaking your head as you walk away.

You whistle as Zhongli puts his coat on for the day. "Damn, sir. I can cook and I can clean!"

"So can I, dear," he murmurs as he adjusts the rings on his gloves.

"Yeah, but I'll cook and clean for you alllll the time!" Zhongli tilts his head, his brow marred in concern. "I believe in sharing household tasks, darling. It would not be fair for you to do all the work. Ah..." He pauses, eyes widening. "Are you going to quit your Guild work to be a homemaker?"

It's your turn to pause. "...What?" He strides over to you, gently cupping your cheek. "Darling," he says, "I respect your decision to quit. However, that still does not mean the burden of all chores rests on your shoulders alone."

It takes a hot minute to clear up the misunderstanding.

It's a regular day, but your husband looks extra fine today. Well, when does he not? You blurt out, "You could snap me in half and I'd thank you!"

"I would much rather hold you close to my chest, dear. In one piece, might I add." Zhongli does just that, pulling you onto his lap and placing a kiss on your shoulder. "Why do you say such unthinkable things?"

Grinning, you nuzzle his chest. "It's how people express their desire these days. It shows how much I love you!" Blinking, your husband nods slowly. So saying I love you wouldn't cut it anymore, then? Hm. "Alright then. In that case..." He clears his throat and begins his attempt at matching you. "I wish for you to...er, pluck every hair off my body individually, until I am nothing but an egg. And, er...I would thank you."

Poor Zhongli doesn't understand why you're laughing so hard.

[iri-desky]

Um...oh no. Oh no no no no. KOSA is coming back.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/02/15/kids-online-safety-act-kosa-senate/

Is this legit? Oh God. OH fuck no. This can't pass, this seriously cannot pass. Everyone, help. Fandoms of Tumblr, we need to fix this. Reblog with EVERY. FANDOM. YOU CAN FIND. And make your own posts the same way. EVERYONE needs to know. STOP. KOSA. CALL THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT IF YOU CAN. CALL SENATORS. ANYTHING. THIS. CANNOT. HAPPEN.

CHECK badinternetbills.com FOR MORE INFO!

[aeroplaneblues]

Same Flavor🤔💗

I knoooow we barely know anything about cyno and alhaitham but listen 15 sec of them fighting is enough for them to fit in my "enemies to lovers" group ships! Even if canon differs this will live rent free in my head🥺🥰 Also sorry if its a little ooc for kokomi but they did fought a war

[madame-helen]

The double moralists in social media be like

[lionbearfox]

im a big fan of this guy

[akko-kagori]

[hitomisuzuya]

hiii suzuu could i have some yn scara coffee shop au fluff?

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Fluff. AU. Scara with a smooth pick up line at the end. Some humor.

Hello, dear❤️ Sorry it took me awhile to get to this. I wanted to think of something really cute. I know you guys don't fancy my fluff or romance as much as my smut but I wanna show I am not a one trick pony.

At first, Scaramouche had only stopped in to get a coffee. Get in, order, pay, and get out. That was a plan, anyways. Until he saw you.

When he first walked in, there you were, standing there looking all beautiful as you smiled at him in what he started hoping wasn't an obligatory smile in greeting.

"Scaramouche. What a unique name," You said when you asked what name to put on his cup. You wrote with a marker on the cup. "Spelt like this, right?" You showed him the cup with his name spelt correctly in blocky but somehow elegant handwriting.

No one had ever taken the time or consideration to ask him if his name was spelt right. Were you some kind of subhuman or something?

Scaramouche left that day not having the nerve to ask you for your phone number. Fast forward to this point a few months later. He still hadn't gotten the nerve to ask for your number.

You know what they say about pretty girls? They were intimidating to approach because they were pretty.

Yeah, that was you.

Scaramouche always made it a point to ask you what days you worked so he could come and see you. He would spend his time making idle conversation with you about music or anything when there was a lull in customers, or when you were doing cleaning, or had a spare minute.

And ordering a lot of coffee.

He started picking random mixes, and it become something of a game for both of you. Especially when you started sampling his concoctions with him.

Scaramouche watched you at the counter, handing someone their order. This guy had been coming in quite often, just like he was. He knew what he was after.

He couldn't sit still any longer when the guy lingered by the counter. He needed insert himself into this situation before it was too late.

But, Scaramouche had something working against him. You did that thing where you tucked a lock of hair behind your ear when you smiled. That distracted Scaramouche from seeing that his shoe lace was untied.

Because fate loved him so much, he stepped on his shoelace, tumbling right to the ground. He let out a loud volley of curses.

You rushed out from behind the counter. "Are you okay?" You asked, kneeling down in front of him. You put your hands on his cheeks. "Did you hit your head? Look at me."

Scaramouche's cheeks flushed, gently batting your hands away. "I'm fine," He said gruffly, his pride heavily dented. His breath was stolen from his lungs when he looked into your eyes.

You sighed in relief. "That's good," You offered him your hand. He almost didn't take it out of pride, but that would give him a excuse to actually touch you in some way.

He could barely look at you as he got to his feet. He could smell your perfume. "Wait," He said when you turned to go back to the counter.

"Hm? Are you feeling dizzy?" You asked, looking over your shoulder at him.

Scaramouche shook his head, his cheeks flushing darker. "I'll need your phone number so you can come check on me later," He said, feeling his heart speed up in his chest. He'd finally done it.

His heart dropped when you smiled at him, and walked back to the counter without a word. Were you turning him down? What was going through your head?

You went about making a coffee, making sure it was black like he normally liked it. You wrote what he assumed was his name on the label.

A pity coffee?

"Here, it's on me," You said, handing him the coffee cup. However, his name wasn't on the label. Instead, there was a little heart colored in with purple marker, and your phone number under it.

Your cheeks had the cutest blush on them.

[sailor-sun-18]

GENSHIN IMPACT

Genre: Fluff/Humor

Character: DOTTORE

OF WISHES AND EXPLOSIONS

Somebody was going to be killed.

You glared at the dead frog, which had been waiting for you all morning, chilling on your desk. You grimaced, frowning at the small red droplets staining the polished wood while the gears in your mind turned and turned, trying to identify the culprit. Suddenly, you felt your fingers twitching.

Needless to say, it didn’t take long to connect the dots.

So, there you were, angrily stomping in the halls, feet leading to the school laboratory. Its dull white walls greeted you with the scent of chemicals and powders along with the razor toothy smile of your (self-proclaimed) science partner. You never agreed to be his working companion, but somehow the other students decided you were the perfect sacrificial victim for the crazy prodigy. He didn’t mind the arrangement, you did.

You marched right in front of him, already blowing a fuse. Ruby eyes peered curiously at your menacing aura through the half mask.

“Why was there a dead frog on my desk?”

He smiled wider, you tried to keep calm.

“Why? You didn’t like it?”

You huffed, before shaking your head.

°

The teacher’s voice was drowned by the shuffling of fabric and the clinking of glass. Your partner grabbed some slime concentrate and an energy nectar.

“Wait- these aren’t the right materials-” he shushed you with a wave of his hand.

“Who said we are doing the assignment.”

“But-”

Your words were interrupted by his sigh, wordlessly, he passed you a small vial with blue liquid. “Take it, I’ve already done it.”

You stared at him, baffled.

“When?”

“An hour ago- he said disinterested before grabbing a red powder from one of the shelves -now, watch, we’re going to blow something up”

You widened your eyes, watching him calmly mixing the two ingredients as if he didn’t just say he would create an explosion on school grounds.

“No, you aren’t going to do anything dangerous. We could be expelled.”

He dismissed your worries with a shake of his head. Your nerves twitched at his audacity. 

It wasn’t the first time that Dottore (it wasn’t his real name, but he always insisted on being called that) completed the assignment beforehand and decided to do whatever he wanted. And though you always wanted no part in his shenanigans you couldn’t help but watch every time. Your blue-haired (again, self-proclaimed) friend tinkered with the sticky substance. Feeling your gaze on him, he gave you a sharp grin and proceeded to mix the nefarious liquid with some unidentified ingredient you didn’t even know existed.

He then poured the deadly mix into a bubble shaped glass he had pulled out of his bag just five minutes before. He let it rest for a few seconds before turning on the small stove at the base, creating a small and joyful flame.

The liquid stirred and before you could even blink, small fireworks exploded in the top part of the glass bowl. Their colourful sparks melding into a bright “Happy Birthday” sign.

Dottore smirked, arms crossed on his chest and chin proudly in the air at the sight of your widened irises, reflecting the small fires.

[e-c] met with ruby. 

You smiled.

°

°

°

“Can I blow up something, now?”

“No-”

[sinfullyrosey]

A Threesome with Cyno and Tighnari Be Like:

Tighnari is sandwiched between you and Cyno, his dick pumping into your tight, warm hole, while Cyno’s dick is pumping into Tighnari. You’re facing Tighnari on his lap, playing with and massaging his ears to add to his overall pleasure, while Cyno is holding onto the base of the fennec fox’s tail, occasionally tugging on it to elicit a reaction out of him. It’s clear from his panting and jumbled speech that your partner is enjoying himself between you two.

And while you stare into Tighnari’s bliss-filled eyes, face flush and lost in the euphoria of the situation, you suddenly get an idea.

A terrible idea.

You grin and let out a chuckle, turning your attention to the Mahamatra who was focused solely on the task at hand. Said task being getting both him and Tighnari off. Your grin widened as the idea swirling in that mischievous, little head of yours.

“Hey, Cyno.”

Ruby red eyes met yours, pupils dilated with lust. He doesn’t say anything, but you know you have his attention, even though he’s still thrusting into your partner.

“Tighnari’s part fox, right?”

The male looked a bit confused at your question, as if wondering how you could not know this after being with them this long. You could feel Tighnari’s ear twitch in your hand, a clear sign of shared confusion and mild irritation. But despite the odd inquiry, Cyno still nodded his head at you, waiting ever so patiently to see where this was leading.

Your grin widened even more before you playfully said:

“Ah, no way, you got to be kit-in-me.”

You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the bewildered expression on the man’s face, eyes blinking owlishly at you. Tighnari, on the other hand, had stiffened up the moment you uttered the terrible joke, both ears twitching in agitation.

Yet, you continued.

“You see, I said “kit-in-me” instead of “kidding me.” Because a baby fox is called a kit, and Tighnari is part fox. And he currently has his dick in my pussy, which could lead to pregnancy, thus leading to a kit in me. Get it? It’s funny ‘cause I made a pun on the word kit and kidding.”

At your explanation, your partner’s eye lit up in realization, a small smile twitching at the corners. He pressed his face into the other’s back, a few muffled chuckles escaping. At this, you started to laugh whole heartedly, making Cyno’s own laughs increase, even with his face still shoved into Tighnari’s shoulder.

While you two chuckleheads were laughing it up, Tighnari was left stuck between you two in seething irritation. His tail now flicking in annoyance, ears flattened back, and eyes glaring off into space. The whole atmosphere had been shifted and neither you nor Cyno were railing him anymore, but instead, were laughing at his expense.

But it’s okay, Tighnari thought, you and Cyno can continue laughing it up on the couch tonight, both blueballed.

Basically:

[qiinamii]

quite the poet, quite the inspo

[stardustdiiving]

I love Neuvillette and find him so interesting to compare to other characters he shares characteristics to—I rlly wasn’t expecting them to go the route they did for what kind of character he was going to be but I’m so on board with it he’s so fun

First comparison I’ve been thinking about I suppose is him and Zhongli. They’re both distinguished old men (tm) who r powerful non human entities, but the way they both go about this are both enjoyably distinct. Both of them are both capable of deep gentleness, but Neuvillette’s gentleness feels a lot more “innocent” than Zhongli’s does. Zhongli is gentle from a place of experience of having to be not gentle in his time as an Archon who had fo hold his country together through apocalyptic war and calamity, but while he is gentle from a place of certainty about himself and what he’s learned/will learn about the world, I feel Neuvillette is gentle from a place of uncertainty and feeling he still has much to learn about himself and the world

We still don’t know a lot about Neuvillette’s history as of 4.1 but it’s interesting to me Neuvillette feels like a non human character who hasn’t had a lot of unique suffering tied to being physically nonhuman, and/or calamity intertwined with him learning about and building a relationship with humanity, like a lot of other non human characters we know have. A lot of his hardship in this vein feels very…grounded on a human level (see: his SQ) and different than say, a Scaramouche or any of the Archons

Neuvillette seeking out humanity and the way he connects to communities and other societies I think can have this additional sad edge to it because I wonder if you could frame that as being influenced by the fact he doesn’t really have any community of his own kind around him to feel a sense of identity with. So like, compare how Neuvillette engages with humanity, compared to how characters like Yae Miko or Xiao—I feel there’s a level of disconnect and difference in how they want to/feel they should engage with humans because they have a sense of identity as youkai/adepti that Neuvillette might have never really had a chance to develop, because of the circumstances with his own kind

The way he forms bonds with humanity and the melusines just feel very distinct to me, and feels like he’s been able to explore it with a less jaded view than a lot of other characters have been able to do. That’s sort of what I mean when I describe him as having this certain feeling of “innocence” to him

He’s just very earnest in a way that’s honestly really endearing. I like how he sincerely responds to Paimon’s silly suggestion to refer to himself as a “dragon out of water” rather than a “fish out of water” because he’s just genuinely spending a lot of his time trying to learn and understand how to communicate and engage with others very often. It’s funny how it’s not even like Neuvillette isn’t jaded or doesn’t hold strongly worded opinions or dislikes of things. His earnestness about this sometimes manifests as him being kind of sassy and it’s honestly hilarious. He’s very a impartial judge who cares a lot about fairness but also he must scoff at a lack of respect towards the Art of drinking water and Zhongli + Venti LARPing normal mortal humans , you see. Love this guy