#genuinely tho i know nothing about ao3 at all if you want to ask a question about ao3 please ask an actual ao3 blog

[dear-ao3]

I absolutely adore how this blog is widely known for everything except the gimmick it was made for.

what can i say we’re just cool like that

[wwinterwitch]

SEX, DRUGS, ETC. (part 2) (steddie x reader)

summary: steve gets an idea of something new he wants to try with you and eddie (part one HERE)

relationship: steve harrington x eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 5,807

warnings/what to expect: SMUT +18 (MINORS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DNI), smut and fluff, poly dynamics, flirting, kissing, cuddling, established poly relationship, threesome (m/m/f), let’s just say steve is more of a dom this time (not with eddie tho he’s still very much a sub), grinding, teasing, eddie watches you and steve before joining, oral (f and m receiving), handcuffs, v fingering, dirty talk, masturbation, steve is a lil unexperienced with guys but definitely not with girls, it’s fine tho cause eddie is a good teacher, i guess orgasm delay?, anal (m/m, unprotected), the “don’t you, big boy" is used because of course that should be in there, aftercare

a/n: because y'all seemed to enjoy last one, here's part two. i'll probably make a part three so if you like this one or if you have any ideas let me know!! 

a reblog and/or comment is always appreciated

masterlist | AO3

"Look who decided to show up."

You roll your eyes with a smile. "Can I come in?"

"Please," Eddie replied, moving aside to let you walk inside his trailer.

"Is Steve here already?"

"Yeah, he actually spend the night, left before my uncle could find him here, and came back when he left for work," he explained, pointing at the very back of the trailer where his bedroom was. "We're in my room."

"Traitors," you muttered as a joke as you walked to Eddie's room. "You hang out without me now?"

As soon as you walk inside Eddie's room, your eyes landed on Steve, who was laying on the bed just in a pair of Eddie's sweatpants. The moment he saw you, his eyes light up as he quickly stood up to greet you. His arms wrapped around your waist to hug you, moving back from you just enough to leave a quick kiss on your lips.

"Hi, you," he said in an incredibly sweet voice, genuinely happy to see you. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, Steve."

Eddie walked pass the two of you to seat by his desk. "How come he gets a hug and a kiss but I get nothing?"

"You can just ask for it, you know?" you replied, pulling away from your embrace with Steve to look at him. Eddie stared at you for a few seconds, the cutest smile you have ever seen appearing on his face at the time he extended his arms for you, waiting for you to walk closer.

Of course you wouldn't leave him sitting there with his arms stretched out for you, so you walked those extra steps to meet him. He wrapped his arms around you to pull you closer, his head leveling with your stomach since he was still sitting. The moment one of your hands flew up to play with his hair, he involuntarily rested his head against your body, the sensation of it making you feel butterflies.

This is how things would usually go when you hang out with Eddie and Steve. The three of you would talk about whatever, sit together on the couch to watch a movie Steve would take from the store he worked at, smoked some weed...basically whatever you felt like doing. To anyone that would look like any other group of friends, but the three of you were far from that. Because a group of friends don't say the type of things you say to each other, and they definitely don't kiss and sleep with each other.

So if friends didn't do that, then it probably means you, Eddie and Steve aren't friends. But you're not something else either. It was kinda weird because you've never been in this situation before. You've dated people here and there, sure, but it was always one person at a time. You never found yourself in a situation where you wanted to be with two people at the same time. When it comes to them, you genuinely enjoy being with both.

And it's not like you're in a position where you have to choose between them, because they seemed comfortable with the idea of all of you practically dating each other at the same time. And it works, and it makes sense that things are the way they are. You didn't have to choose if you wanted Eddie or Steve, just like neither of them wanted to chose you or the other. Everyone chose everyone, basically.

It was a bit frustrating that things had to stay between the three of you, though. You couldn't go out on dates or kiss in public or do the usual stuff people do when they like someone else, because it was evident people in this town would never understand if they find out. A girl dating two guys? A guy dating a guy and a girl? At the same time? Three people dating each other? That just didn't make sense. And to be completely fair, it didn't fully make sense to you either, but it felt right and you felt comfortable. That's all that really matters. Maybe you don't understand it now- hell, maybe you'll never understand it, but you feel good and happy when you're with them and you wouldn't change a thing.

So basically the three of you were somewhat of an established thing, but had to keep it private to avoid the negativity that it would bring if everyone in town found out.

"There's some weed left if you want some," Eddie said, moving back from you just to point at the small bag on top of his desk, then quickly returning to his previous position.

"Oh, yeah. Forgot to tell you! Eddie tried to teach me how to roll a joint earlier," Steve quickly added, already laying back on the bed.

"He was terrible," the other guy commented.

"Yeah, I was," he admitted. "Though to be completely fair..."

"I was not a bad teacher," Eddie quickly cut him off, probably already having this conversation before. "It was you the one that wouldn't listen to me."

"Okay, since when a teacher yells so much?"

"I didn't yell at you!"

"You did yell at me! And you're yelling to me right now!"

You couldn't help but giggle at their little exchange, instinctively hugging Eddie tighter in sign of affection. God, you were happy to have these two dorks all to yourself.

"I'm kinda hungry, do you have anything?" you asked, cutting their little argument.

"I think there's pizza in the fridge," Eddie replied. "That is if mr. steal-my-food didn't eat it already without me realizing."

Steve faked a face of surprise at the accusation, looking at you in disbelief. "Do you see the way he's treating me right now?"

You completely ignored the pair as you left the room, leaving them to it while you went to check if the leftovers Eddie mentioned were still there. You could faintly hear them half-arguing, half-flirting for a few seconds before you hear Steve's laugh and then absolutely nothing else. When you got back to the room with your now heated pizza, you realized why they were so quiet all of a sudden. Apparently Eddie got up of his seat and joined Steve on the bed, perhaps kissing before you walked into the room, but you only got to see when Steve gently pulled a strand of Eddie's hair behind his ear, to which Eddie replied by grabbing his hand and kissing it, holding him as he looked back into his eyes affectionately. The scene made your heart melt.

As you sat on the chair, Steve flipped around on the bed to face you and Eddie took that as a chance to wrap his arms around him, cuddling Steve from behind

"Should I put some music?" you offered.

"Anything but Iron Maiden, please," Steve replied, which caused Eddie to scoff in disbelief.

"Lucky your cute, Harrington, otherwise I'd have kicked you out as soon as you said that."

You looked around the tapes scattered all around Eddie's desk before choosing Ozzy, standing up to put the tape in the record player and making sure to lower the volume, knowing Eddie enjoys blasting his music a little too loud. Only when you had finished eating, you finally took your shoes off and joined the two of them on the bed, snuggling closer to Steve as he wrapped an arm around you.

And none of you found it necessary to speak, choosing to stay in each other's arms in complete silence as Ozzy Osbourne played in the background. The best part of your day has come to moments like this: just you hanging out with Steve and Eddie, doing whatever, enjoying each other's company.

You enjoyed how things turned out between the three of you. After the first time all of you spend the night at Eddie's trailer, you were afraid things would be weird the morning after. Because how things wouldn't be weird if you had sex and then fell asleep literally hugging each other? But the next morning things were so great, and both of them seemed so comfortable around you, and you all could sit around the dinning table to have breakfast before Eddie's uncle would get back from work, and talk and flirt here and there and everything was perfect. You practically thought about the two of them all day (and the next day) before you finally got to see them again when Steve asked the two of you to watch a movie with him. To you that movie night felt exactly like a date. Maybe it was for them too. It is for you at least.

As the three of you were cuddling in Eddie's bed, you noticed he leaned his head close enough to be able to leave tiny kisses all over the side of Steve's neck, which immediately made the other guy smile. Of course he wasn't going to complain, choosing to slightly titled his head to the side to give him more space to continue.

In the few weeks you've been dating these two, you started to notice the type of people they are in a relationship. Eddie is definitely more of a talkative and physical type of lover, not missing a single chance to hold you or compliment you. He's definitely the one that expresses his feelings through kisses, hugs and flirting. Just whatever he feels to do in the moment to show you and Steve how much he appreciates you.

Steve on the other hand was more of an actions type of guy. He shows love through what he does. Whether is remembering the most random and insignificant thing you could possibly say to another human being, or visiting you at work just to see you during the day. He was unconditional, loyal, and so incredibly caring. He cares so much about you and Eddie, willing to stay hours just listening to your problems if that means you'd feel better. And he would remember everything you told him, and maybe give one or two advices (because he's apparently so good at that too!) and give you a gift the next day in hopes that would cheer you up.

They compliment each other so well, you honestly have no idea how you managed to make the two of them like you back.

It didn't took long for things to escalate, Eddie's grip on Steve's side tightening as his kisses became more hungry and desperate. "Someone's eager," Steve commented.

"Always," was his response, barely moving back from Steve's neck before continuing what he was doing.

"You know, I wanted to talk to you about something," Steve continued. Eddie ignored him and as he still kissed his neck, so he just continued talking. "I wanted to try something."

"Try something?" you asked, trying to figure out if he meant what you were thinking.

"Yeah, I mean...just if you guys want to. If not, it's fine."

Just then, Eddie moved back to look at Steve. "What is it?"

Steve didn't realize how nerve-wrecking it would be to talk about this, even when he trusts the two of you so much. He knows you would never judge him, but this was still so new to him, he had a hard time trying to voice his thoughts.

"Well, I've never been with a guy before. Like, ever. Especially if sex is involved," he started. "So...I guess I wanted to- I mean, I've always wondered what it would feel like to..."

Eddie interrupted with a chuckle, the biggest smile on his face. "Are you about to ask me to fuck you, Steve Harrington?"

"Shut up," he quickly said in embarrassment. "But yeah, I guess that's what I'm asking. But only if you guys are okay with that. I don't mind if that's not your thing."

"Oh, it is definitely my thing," Eddie quickly assured him. "What about you, sweetheart?"

"Sounds fun," you shrugged. If the two of them felt comfortable with the idea, then you have no reason not to agree. To be honest, watching Eddie and Steve having sex sounded like a wonderful idea, especially if it's Steve the one proposing to give it a try.

"Let's do it then," Eddie concluded, the smile never once disappearing from his face. "Though I want to do something first, because last time you two had most of the fun and I don't think that's fair," he added, the tone of his voice and the way he looked at you revealed he already had a very clear idea of what he wanted.

"And what is it that you want?" you dared to ask, thinking to yourself that whatever it was, you probably would enjoy it.

Eddie's smile turned into a smirk, one of his hands finding its way inside the pair of sweatpants that Steve was wearing to already begin stimulating him, feeling his dick already starting to get hard with his touch. "I'd like to see you two have sex first."

You and Steve exchanged a look, silently trying to figure out if the other was okay with that request. It was Steve the one who spoke first, "I'm completely okay with that."

"Good," was all you said before you pull him closer to you for a very much needed and heated kiss.

Eddie moved out of the way to leave you two to it, standing up from the bed to walk to his desk, not once wanting to move his eyes away from you. Steve grabbed your hips and immediately pulled you closer, forcing you to straddle him as you continued to devour each other's mouths.

It was impossible for you not to start moving on top of him, making sure to grind against him long and hard, making him grunt as his head leaned back onto the pillow, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the way you moved against him.

"Is this okay, Eddie?" you turned around to look at him, needing to hear his approval.

"You're doing great, baby," he smirked, watching from his desk. "But Steve better puts one hell of a show if he wants me to fuck him later."

"So, no pressure?" he asks ironically.

"You gotta earn it, Harrington.”

You rested your upper body completely against Steve's chest, your fingers tracing all the way down his arms until your hands found his, moving them from your hips to your ass so he could start using them to move you against his dick. While he forced you to rock your hips at whatever speed he wanted to, you started kissing all over his neck, your tongue tracing a line from his collarbone to his ear. You could hear his breath becoming heavier as you continued to lick up his neck, giving your ass a squeeze as he increased your speed on top of him.

He let out a barely audible moan the second you move back from him, sounding more like a complaint than an expression of the pleasure he was feeling right now thanks to you. Again, you turned back to look at Eddie before doing anything else. His once bright eyes were the darkest you have even seen them, almost in a trance as he watched the two of you. He had one arm crossed across his body, the other pressed against his chest while his knuckles rested against his lips, his thumb impatiently playing with the ring on his pointer finger.

Your attention went back to Steve when you felt him pulling your shirt up, quickly helping him to take it off. He wasted no time to take off your bra too before beginning to unbuttoning your pants. Knowing it would be impossible to get rid of them in this position, you got off the bed to take them off, making sure to do it slowly just to tease the two guys you were with because- well, you also wanted to put up a show.

Before you could go back to the bed, Steve sat up to grab something hanging from Eddie's wall right next to the bed. "Come here, sweetheart," he instructed, showing you the handcuffs he was now holding. You did as he said, extending both of your arms to him before he easily managed to put the handcuffs on you.

You lay down on the bed before he grabbed one of your wrists, forcing both your arms up so they would rest on the pillows and above your head. He climbed on top of you, grabbing the back of your neck to pull you into a kiss, your tongues meeting almost immediately. You moaned into the kiss, wishing you could trace your fingers down his back at that very moment.

He only pulled away from your lips to slowly make his way down his body, taking his time on purpose just to tease you. He left kisses along your jaw, neck, collarbone, and now he was getting closer to your tits.

You shudder beneath him with desperation, hoping he would stop looking up at you with doe-like eyes and instead focus back on his route down your body. He eventually showed you mercy, kissing one of your tits as you moaned with gratitude for that much needed contact. He kissed it again before his tongue circled around your nipple in a painfully slow motion. It made you so desperate that you tried to move your arms down, only for him to push them back up.

But Steve is by no means an ungenerous lover, so he decided to give you what you wanted as his mouth captured one of your tits, his tongue increasing its speed as it traces more and more circles. He made sure to take his time pleasing one before pleasing the other. You would continue to moan underneath his body, your legs spreading impossibly further to give him absolutely all the space he needed.

You could feel you were ridiculously wet already, anticipating the feeling of him licking and kissing somewhere else. He continued down your body, leaving various kisses down your belly, your back arching more and more as he approached the part where you needed him the most.

"Fuck," you complained when he stopped once again, looking up at you with innocent eyes. "Steve, please..."

"What is it, baby? Tell me what you need," he says in the softest voice ever, leaving a tiny kiss just above your underwear.

"I...I need you to take my panties off."

And he did just that, he slides the piece of clothing down your legs before playfully throwing it at Eddie. When you focused back on him, it was impossible to ignore the massive erection in his pants. That means you and Steve are doing a good job, which also means he's closer to getting fucked like he wanted.

When Steve returned his attention to you, you honestly thought he would finally begin to eat you out, but he didn't. "Steveeee," you whine, moving your hips in an attempt to create at least some sort of friction that could help you, though of course you got nothing.

"I did what you told me to do," he replied. "If you need something else, you have to say it. Otherwise I wouldn't know what it is."

God, you hate him. You hate him. You hate him. You hate him.

"Please fuck the shit out of me with your mouth," you say exasperated, about to lose your mind if you didn't get him to eat you out right now.

He grinned. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

You.Hate.Him.

But you barely got time to think about your hatred for him when his name slips out of your mouth the second you feel his tongue against your pussy. And it feels so good to finally have him licking and sucking at your clit and your entrance that you forget why you even hated him in the first place and all you can think is to plead him to go faster.

You once again moved your arms down, wanting to grab his hair and shove him impossibly close to you, fearing he would stop what he was doing just to continue with the teasing. You were so desperate, that you didn't know if you could handle him stopping now.

But just like the time before, he moved back from you and forced your arms back up, giving you a warning look. "You have to hold still for me, okay?"

"I can't...Steve, please!" you replied. "Please go faster."

The second his mouth returned to where he was just seconds ago, you closed your eyes at the sensation, trying to remind yourself not to move your arms back down to avoid him pulling away. Just like the previous time he was eating you out, he was absolutely amazing. He licked and sucked as if his life depended exclusively on those two actions, the sounds he would make and the groans that would leave his mouth made the experience just so much better.

His mouth moves up to your clit, moving his tongue against you before sucking hard on it, making you moan even louder because he just wouldn't let go and he was looking up at you as he was doing it, enjoying to watch your reaction.

You couldn't control the sounds leaving your mouth when one of his fingers entered you, painfully slow, not stretching you out in the way you need right now. Luckily, your problem was solved when Steve added another finger, making sure to curl them as deep as he could inside you, separating them just enough as he pulled them out to stretch you out just a little more.

"Please, please, pleaseee, keep going," was all you managed to say, knowing that if he kept sucking on your clit like that and fingering you, you wouldn't be able to hold back your orgasm for too long.

He moved back just enough to ask, "You like that, sweetheart?"

You looked down at him, half his face completely covered in a mixture of your juices and his own saliva. That has got to be the most wonderful thing you've ever seen.

"Yes! Yes, you're so good at this," you replied almost too quick. He was pretty sure he could do whatever he wanted to you and you'd be okay with that because you're so desperate to cum. "I can't wait to come all over your face."

Steve smirked at the last part, resuming what he was doing with his tongue, licking circles around your clit before sucking on it as hard as he possibly could, the speed of his fingers going in and out of you increasing too.

And while of of this was happening, Eddie has been trying to hold himself back from joining the two of you because this was quite literally the hottest thing he has ever seen. He already undress himself a long time ago, at first just sitting in his underwear while touching himself on top of the fabric, but right now he was completely naked by his desk, pleasing himself as he watched.

Your eyes met his for a second, but you got quickly distracted by the way his hand was moving up and down his length, letting out the prettiest sounds ever, clearly enjoying what you and Steve were up to.

It was only a few seconds later while Steve continued devouring your clit and fingering you that you could feel your body tightening and your hips involuntarily moving at a faster speed, providing you with more friction than before. You knew you were close, and you didn't know how long you were gonna be able to continue. "I...I'm gonna..." you were able to say, your eyes once again meeting Eddie's.

"Fuck," you heard Eddie muttering under his breath, fully losing control over himself. "Hold it just a little longer, princess," he added, walking towards the edge of the bed and right behind Steve. "I've got to give Steve here what he wants."

Steve moved back from you again, this time turning his head to look behind him, staring at Eddie in disbelief, yet excited. "Wait, really?"

"You put up a show like I told you to do, so you deserve to be rewarded."

At the sound of that, Steve practically jumped out of the bed to quickly remove the sweatpants he was wearing, going back to the position he previously was at the edge of the bed, his head leveling with your pussy again.

"Is this okay?" he asked, not really having much idea about how to do this. He only knew he wanted it. Badly.

"Perfect," Eddie replied, grabbing both of Steve's hips to pull the lower part of his body just slightly upwards.

Steve didn't want to keep you waiting so he quickly begin licking up and down your slit before his two fingers continued to move in and out of you. "Wait, wait!" you said, both of them looking up at you. "Can I take the handcuffs off now?"

Eddie walked over to his nightstand to search for the key, finally setting your hands free. He didn't mind hanging them again on the wall, throwing them to the floor to head back towards Steve.

You watched as Eddie licked the palm of his hand before stroking himself before repeating those exact same actions one again, using that to lubricate his dick enough so it would be easier to enter the guy who continued to vigorously eat you out. His pace, however, slowed the second he started to feel Eddie entering him.

It was new and it was painful at first. He had to move away from you in order to try and focus on getting over the pain so he could begin enjoying the feeling of Eddie slowly filling him. You reached for his hand, allowing him to hold onto you and squeeze your hand if that meant he could relax sooner.

Eddie was gentle and patient, knowing the first thrusts won't be enjoyable at all, trying his best not to hurt Steve. When he was finally all the way in, he said, "Tell me when you're ready."

Steve leaned his head down, his hair partially covering his forehead and his eyes shut as he tried to adjust to Eddie's size. After a few seconds, the two of you heard him reply, "I'm ready."

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure, Eddie. Please, just...move."

And so Eddie did. He moved half-way out, still very slowly. Steve let out a moan after that, the sensation starting to get slightly more tolerable. Eddie continued his thrusts at a very slow pace while you held Steve's hand, your fingers interlocking with his. You didn't care that you never reached your orgasm. To you it's far more important that Steve can enjoy himself during sex. "You're doing great," you said.

Steve appreciated the encouragement. After a few more thrust, the pain begin feeling like nothing but pleasure, already wanting Eddie to move faster. As a way to let him know what he wanted, he moved his hips back and forth as a way to let him know he was comfortable enough to do that, so he was definitely ready for him to move at a higher speed.

Just then, Eddie's thrust became faster. Not all the way, but it was still faster. And now that he wasn't in pain, Steve continued eating you out. His fingers resumed going in and out of you at their previous speed in hopes your orgasm arrives as soon as possible.

The sounds coming out of Steve's mouth vibrated against you as his mouth continued to devour you. And while he was doing that, Eddie was gripping Steve's hips tightly, going in and out of him each time faster and faster.

Since Steve was more stimulated now, he was more eager with you. He began fingering you hard- the hardest yet, and it was delicious. All you could do was moan as both of your hands tangled in his hair so it wouldn't fall on his face. At the scene in front of him, Eddie had to speed his thrusts again because it was just not enough. He just couldn't get enough of you, of Steve, of this.

Your orgasm didn't take long to announce its return, your legs trembling and your head spinning when you were finally able to cum, your back arching more than ever now as you pulled at Steve's hair to move him back from you. It was too much. You couldn't handle his fingers and his mouth at the same time. That would most likely make you cum all over again as soon as your body would slightly recover.

Steve noticed you were over stimulated, only using his mouth this time to clean you off, making sure to leave a kiss on the inside of your thigh. You stood up from the bed to crawl towards Steve, kissing him shortly before staring at him, your hands holding his face, admiring how pretty he looked while Eddie fucked him.

"You like how Eddie feels?" you asked, earning only a nod from Steve. He was clearly at a loss of words right now. "You look so beautiful like this," you added, pulling him back for a kiss.

He had to move away from the kiss seconds later to rest his head against your shoulder once Eddie continued to fuck him at an impossibly fast pace. You allowed him to rest himself against you, your fingers playing with his hair.

"Want to help me make him feel even better?" Eddie asked you, panting, his hair a complete mess and all sweaty as it sticks to his neck. He didn't wait for your answer before grabbing Steve's hair and force him to stand up, their bodies now fully pressed. Eddie leaned to the side just enough to talk to Steve, his face inches away from his. "Would you like that, Steve?"

"Yes..." he barely says, too lost in his own pleasure to say anything else.

Eddie didn't have to elaborate what it was that he wanted you to do, because you seemed to understand just perfectly as you grabbed the base of Steve's dick to put him inside your mouth. You began to suck him off, making sure not to look away from either of them since both guys were staring down at you now. Eddie was smiling, while Steve was trying very hard not to cum right at that very moment, his face showing he was quite literally being wrecked by Eddie.

Both of them were a sweaty mess and Eddie didn't look like wanting to slow down. Ever. If he could he could fuck Steve for the rest of his life. The two of them were also moaning and grunting and cussing under their breath, which let you know they were so close to reach their orgasm and you just couldn't wait to see that.

"You like getting fucked from behind while she sucks your dick, don't you, big boy?" you heard Eddie asking Steve, right next to his ear.

And that was it for Steve. He almost collapsed on the bed if it wasn't for Eddie holding him up. You were quick to move your hand up and down his dick as fast as you could before putting him back inside your mouth, the stimulation working to get your mouth filled with his cum almost immediately, making sure to swallow all of it before moving back.

All it took were just two or three more thrusts for Eddie to cum, holding onto Steve as he did. The two of them looked exhausted as you moved away from the bed to give them space to lay there, barely able to keep their eyes open. Eddie was grinning like an idiot while Steve laid on his side with one of his hands running across his forehead in an attempt to be less sweaty. You located Steve's shirt on the floor and quickly got dressed with that and your panties.

You made your way towards them, "you two should get a shower," you commented.

"Can't...can't get up," Steve muttered, still very much tired.

Knowing that was probably true, you left the room to go to the bathroom, gathering clean towels and damping them with cold water, making sure to squeeze both of the towels you selected to avoid leaving a trail of water on your way back.

You walked inside the room again, moving the chair to the side of the bed. You decided to attend Steve first, since he looked the most tired. He was with his eyes closed, probably already falling asleep, as you used the towel to clean some of the sweat off his body. You made sure to clean his face, neck and parts of his chest before leaning closer as you caressed his cheek affectionately. "Do you need something else?"

All you got was a low grunt from him, which you figured it was his way of saying no. The poor guy was exhausted so you didn't want to bother him anymore.

Eddie stood up from the bed now, putting his underwear back on. "Sit," you ordered.

He did as told, sitting at the edge of the bed as you sat next to him to also clean him off. "Looks like we're gonna have a hard time getting him to wake up tomorrow," he says, turning to look at Steve who was very much asleep now.

"Yeah, you really wore him off."

"At least we know what to do when we want him to shut up."

The comment made you laugh, finishing with your work of cleaning his face and neck. "Do you want anything?"

"I was gonna get some water, actually."

"Okay, stay here. I got it."

You walked out of the bedroom again to get Eddie a glass of water. When you got back, he immediately drank the entire glass before handing it back to you. "Thanks."

"No need," you replied. "Want to get some sleep now?"

"Yes, please," he pouted, also feeling extremely tired. "Do you have a hair tie with you?"

You looked at your wrist and realized you didn't, though you were sure you had one when you got here. It took you a few seconds, but you were finally able to find it on the floor. "Here," you said, handing it to him.

He took the hair tie and quickly took his hair back to put it all in a loose ponytail before going to sleep, hoping that would keep his hair from falling all over the place. "We have to wake him up so we can get under the covers," he pointed out.

"Can't you just move him?"

Eddie sighed but didn't say anything else, getting off the bed to lean next to Steve. "Hey, Steve? Can you wake up just for a second?"

Another grunt.

"A whole hurricane could throw us across the air and he would never know," Eddie says with obvious annoyance. "Whatever. I grab his legs, you pull back the covers."

You did as he instructed, managing to cover Steve so he could sleep more comfortably. He didn't even react, though at this point you didn't expect him to do. Neither of you wanted to bother Steve any further so Eddie gently laid next to him and extended one of his arms to invite you over to join them. You snuggle closer to Eddie and he gives you a quick kiss on your forehead before the two of you went to sleep.

[modernghostfare]

uhhmm drabble about ghost and mace after soap's death. ao3 link 857 words. here it is on Tumblr tho

Ghost is notorious for changing phone numbers. This wasn't the case originally, when his mother was still alive and needed a way to contact her son easily. That was years ago. Now, Mace keeps the same number, and about once a month he receives a text from Unknown asking if he's too busy to talk. He’s always honest, either ignoring if he is busy or sitting with his phone in hand teasing Ghost for a second before calling.

Today, he gets the text in the middle of the day while he's eating lunch. Mace texts back once, “I'm eating.” Ghost doesn't wait for a back and forth before calling him.

“Oi,” he says as a greeting. He sounds gruff, but he always sounds gruff.

“Hey.”

Mace listens as he inhales and exhales what he can only assume is cigarette smoke. “What're you eating?”

“Rice and lamb.” Mace continues before Ghost can give more than a soft grunt in reply, teeming with need to pick at Ghost for a moment. “You're not too busy with that new guy to talk?”

"He died.” Ghost says. Blunt, even, said like he's eager to get this discussion over with already.

"Oh.”

"Mh.”

"I'm, um,” Mace struggles a bit. He looks at the phone out of the corner of his eyes, keenly aware this conversation could spark an argument quickly. “I'm sorry"

"S'okay, it's not your fault. It's Price's." Ghost sighs, almost immediately. Mace can hear a light clunk as the phone is set beside him. It's silent for a bit before there's a softer sound, and Ghost sounds further away when he speaks again. "I don't mean that."

"Yea," Mace agrees. He knows.

"I was there, too. It's just as much my fault."

Mace can hear it now, the haggard edge to his voice. He's been awake too long, probably, if Mace knows him right. He forgoes reassuring him, instead replies with his tone gentle, "what happened?”

"Just… It was quick. Price was grabbed, Soap was trying to help, he got shot. It did help, but," Ghost pauses. Mace can picture Simon, looking left and right at nothing, eyes unfocused.

"He didn't make it," Mace provides.

The phone is picked back up. Mace can hear as Ghost exhales against the microphone, his voice tense from the latest drag of his cigarette. "Right through his temple."

"Mh," Mace nods though Ghost can't see.

"Quick, at least."

"Did you go to the funeral? Has he had one yet?”

Ghost scoffs. "In my mask?"

"You could take it off,” Mace replies, tone still gentle, still trying to urge him out of this shell of his.

"Fuck. You." Mace can tell he'd brought the phone closer to his mouth. He pulls away again "Gaz and Price went. Gaz said it was nice. They took a bit of his ashes– well, his mom insisted they take some."

"Mh.”

"Had his urn."

"You saw it?"

"We spread them."

"So you did go to his funeral.”

There's a pause and Mace can see Ghost’s eyes rolling in his mind's eye. "Yeah, sure, our own funeral."

“That's nice. That's good,” Mace is genuine, glad Ghost is allowing himself closure this time.

“Sure.”

“It is,” Mace reiterates.

“I literally agreed with you,” he snaps back, already tired of this.

“Okay” Mace says, even and neutral. He stays quiet and Ghost follows suit, passively holding the phone in his hand while he smokes.

“M’still in Scotland.”

“I'm still in Urzikstan.”

“Shame,” Ghost replies.

“Yeah,” Mace agrees. “How long have you been there?”

“Just a night,” Ghost says as he rummages for something. It's all muted to Mace, Ghost’s cheap phone having a cheap microphone. Mace knows he'd say the same for his, so he keeps his phone to his ear, tucked between his head and his shoulder with no complaint.

Ghost stays quiet, huffing and messing with either wrappers or papers in his vicinity. Something plastic. Mace eats his food, only a little too cool now. Neither one of them hangs up, or wants to, despite the stretch of silence going on long enough for Mace to finish the plate, take it and the phone down to the kitchen sink, and go sit outside himself.

“Are you in a room?” he decides to ask, finally.

“Car,” Ghost sounds distant again. Mace can imagine he's set the phone on the dashboard.

“You spend the night there?”

“Yea.”

Bad for your back, Mace thinks fleetingly.

“Don't fuckin’ say anything,” Ghost says, seemingly hearing his thoughts.

“I didn't.”

“Good.”

“I didn't,” Mace laughs, soft and under his breath. “No need.”

Ghost snorts. He fidgets with the phone again before slamming a door and starting the car. Mace can hear the phone get set into a cupholder. “Wanna hang up?” he asks.

“Why? Are you goin’ somewhere?”

“Sounds like you are.”

“I’m just drivin’ back. I’ve got a fuckin’ stand to put my phone in; you’re not hangin’ up.”

“Oh,” Mace replies. Not a cupholder. “You want company while you drive?”

“If it won’t kill you.” Ghost huffs out air.

“Nah, baby,” Mace reassures him, deftly ignoring the bite in his voice. “I’ll be here.”

[truly-twirls]

Hello! Honestly you're the first acc i think of when it comes to writing hurt/comfort because of your fics. They're amazing and so so relatable.

tw//depression

If your requests are open, can I please request a Yeonjun fic? My depressive episodes have been coming back lately so I felt like I kinda needed this.

I just want some comfort fic with Yeonjun where his s/o feel like they're not good enough and have trouble releasing out their problems to him and feels like they're just so pathetic and weak and feel like a burden to everyone.

Sorry I just wanted to know how someone who genuinely loves someone would react and say if their s/o was going through such things. I might just be self projecting here as well tho my bad 😅

But! Incase you aren't taking up requests, that's perfectly fine as well so please don't feel pressured. Your other fics are honestly so comforting and nice so it's totally fine. I hope the day will be nicer to you when you read this <33

hehe hi i'm sorry this took so long, also sorry if it's not as great as you'd like, i had a bit of writer's block,, requests are still open!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

playing catch-up - c. yeonjun

Word Count: 1,364

Warnings: Reader is in a depressive episode, Self-deprecation, Brief food mention

Characters: Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin (Mentioned), Choi Beomgyu (Mentioned), Heuning Kai (Mentioned), Kang Taehyun (Mentioned)

Genre: Request, Comfort, Fluff (Kind of)

AO3 Link

🌱🌱🌱

‘Why do we, the people, believe we can overcome anything?’

‘What gives us the will to keep on going, even with 200, 300, even 1000 tons upon our weak shoulders?’

‘Well, we’ll never truly know the answer.’

‘As it is different for every person, and their own experiences threaded into their memories.’

That was the big takeaway? A three hour lecture on a Monday morning, and that was all it had to offer? This was where your money was going towards?

Great. Fantastic. Absolutely amazing.

You sighed and packed up your journal and writing utensils, tossing them into your bookbag, and walked out of the dreary lecture hall. You still had three more classes today, with little to no break in between any of them, and to top it all off: They all lasted more than an hour each.

-Four hours later-

You felt stupid.

No, you felt incapable.

The fact that your train of thought had steadied itself for so long, so long. Only for it to collide into a wall that you didn’t even know was there.

It was embarrassing,

You felt embarrassed.

You are embarrassing.

No matter how much you kept looking through notes, dissecting every word that came out of the professors’ mouths, nothing stuck. 

It was like you never even went to lecture.

How could you be investing so much energy, so much money, and your mind couldn’t muster the ability to even learn anything?

Honestly, how stupid could you get? 

…

And then you really started to think.

It already felt like you were never in lecture.

Was it worth it? 

Honestly if one were to truly sit down and think, would one day really hurt?

And that’s how it started.

Just one day.

Then it turned into three days.

Then seven.

Twelve.

…

It’s been three weeks since you last went to a lecture, let alone the dining hall or any university events.

You’ve just been sitting, lying down, pacing, any type of movement really. But it never left the four walls of your dorm. 

It was just you.

For three weeks.

Then, at 3am, there was a pounding at the door that jolted you awake. If it’s the fucking RA asking about another incident, you were gonna resort to sleeping at a motel.

“Y/N?”

That voice… Is it..?

“Y/N, please open up, I saw your lights on from the window outside. Please, love?”

It was him.

As you walked towards the door to let your boyfriend inside, you saw a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. 

There stood a wrinkled shirt from weeks ago, sweatpants with holes torn from being snagged onto door handles a few too many times, and a ghastly face. One that read nothing but despair, one that barely passed as alive even.

Are you really going to face Yeonjun like this?

After not seeing each other for a month?

Is this really who he deserves to see after spending such a long time in another country for an abroad study?

Unfortunately, your doubts were cut short because of the sound of keys jingling.

You had forgotten that you gave him a spare key a few months ago, who knew how difficult that would make things in the future.

“Y/N? Is everything alright? Soobin told me you haven’t showed up to Literature in almost a month..”

“Not the only one.”

“And Beomgyu asked me why you’ve been skipping out on History and lunch with him.”

“The dining hall is expensive..”

“On top of that, Taehyun and Kai asked if you dropped your Statistics lecture.”

“Okay!! Fine!! I haven’t taken a single fucking step out of this dorm in a month, so fucking what!?!”

There wasn’t another voice to be heard for minutes at a time, only the sound of an exhausted fan.

You hadn’t meant for that to be aloud. Honestly, you just wanted it to pass through your mind and move on.

But the look in Yeonjun’s eyes. There wasn’t a chance that this could pass like the clouds beyond the glass window.

“This isn’t because of me right?”

You resorted to sitting on your bed, internally stuttering as you worked to put together a response.

“I know I was gone for a while but.. It didn’t mean I stopped caring, I thought about you every day.. Y/N, what happened?”

You used a blanket to try and muffle your sobs, this felt pathetic. Yeonjun telling you how he feels and you not saying anything did nothing to ease his worries.

“Please Y/N, give me something.. Anything, I need to know how I can be there for you..”

“Junnie, I’m honestly fine.. It’s just something stupid, I’ll get over it soon.”

At this point your boyfriend stood in front of you, grabbing your hands, “Baby, we both know it’s more than that.. It’s just you and I here. The world is deaf right now, anything you tell me tonight will stay with us. I want to listen to you, whether it’s your happiest moments or your darkest troubles.”

A smile forced its way to your face, although small, the little sparks you feel with Yeonjun returned. Oh, it was such a comforting feeling, as if taking off a sleeping mask after a long slumber, your soul welcomed the light.

“It’s not really that dramatic, love. I just.. um.. How do I say this..”

“Try not to downplay what you feel, it’s real. Your struggles are real, I think saying it’s dumb or not a big deal would make it harder to talk about, yeah?” As he spoke, his hands ran through stray pieces of hair. If he noticed how oily it became, Yeonjun said nothing about it.

“Okay.. well… It became harder to understand, like, what was going on? I don’t know, it just seemed like anything a professor would say, I never got it. Like, I just couldn’t make sense of anything being said.”

You took a breath as Yeonjun finally joined you on the edge of your mattress, “I’m listening.”

“I guess I thought that there was no point in going to lectures if I couldn’t understand what was happening, but I didn’t want to ask any of the guys for help or my friends. I don’t know, it just felt like a bother since everyone has been so stressed lately.. Who would want to take the time to help me?”

Silence filled the air again, but the air didn’t feel as thick, as Yeonjun thought about what to say, you still felt safe.

“I understand, baby. I think when we first met, one of the things I admired about you was how often you took into account how others around you felt. How selfless you are, it’s an incredible part of you, but it’s not the only thing about you. You’ve never given up, not truly. Even now I still don’t believe you’ve completely lost hope. It’s just on pause because of how overwhelming everything suddenly became.”

You nodded as you processed his words, it made sense.

“But when the time comes and you feel ready to press play again, we can rewind the tapes again and pick up where we left off. The world is moving fast, no doubt, but I like to believe that we move at the same pace as each other.”

Yeonjun’s shoulder was met with a playful nudge as you got shy from his remark, “Hey! I’m telling the truth here, no matter how sappy it is! You’re my Y/N, and don’t you worry, we’ll both be back on track in no time, I think I’m still sixteen hours behind but I’ll catch on, so will you.”

A genuine laugh left your lips, it felt nice. Wherever he was, Choi Yeonjun brought the warmth to your life that was permanent, even when the moon was paired with the chilly air that blew through the sleeping cities. The two of you were awake, the two of you were here, and as you shared a sweet kiss, you knew that it would be enough to go to one lecture tomorrow.

Because as Yeonjun promised, you would go at your own pace.

🌱🌱🌱

[becauseplot]

Hi hi hi :D

My header was gettin crowded so I figured I might as well just make an intro post lmao.

Welcome!

My name is Curly! You can call me Curly, or becauseplot, or bp, or bitchass---anything along those lines will do <3

I use he/she/they pronouns (in no particular order, go nuts) and I am not a minor!

Below the cut: interests, style of posting, tags list/system, ao3, and more! (Important bits are bolded!)

[x]

The things I'm Normal:tm: about

QSMP remains a background interest of mine but it's still beloved. Faves are qphilza (rly just ANY philza rp characters) and qcellbit. I also love DSMP, TotK, and BotW. Sometimes I'll jumpscare you with a Sherlock Holmes post just because. (Holmes and Watson have my whole heart. They <3)

I'm also in the middle of watching Ordem Paranormal! I've watched AOP, OSNF, and am making my way through OPD. Liz my beloved.

I am nothing if not long-winded (if you couldn't already tell from the length of this lmaooooo)

I like+reblog+tag pretty much EVERYTHING. So sorry if I clutter your notifs, I just have the inexplicable urge to add Every Post to my Hoard.

I talk a lot in tags. Like, a LOT. Also, my posts have a tendency to ramble. I have thoughts and internet access and that is a very ill-advised combination <3

I do swear a lot!!! Always know that if I'm swearing I am never genuinely mad/upset I do it for the funnies and the funnies only.

#organized (not really)

I do have a tagging system but it's kinda!! Wonky!!! I'll organize it one of these days I swear. For the most part, if you want stuff (qsmp-related) I've saved on...

a specific character: "q![character]" (yes even the npcs like the eggs)

duos: "[______] duo" (or their ~special~ duo name, ex "codebreakers", "crimeboys", etc)

shipping content: the ship name lmao

clips: "qsmp clips for the soul"

funny/neat in-game/webcam screenshots: "qsmp reaction images"

I also save stuff about major arcs and special events under specific tags, so keep an eye out for these too:

"qsmp festa junina"

"qsmp spiderbit wedding"

"qsmp election event" (stuff to do with the whole election arc)

"qsmp dinner event" (the election dinner with the imposter eggs)

"egg-napping part 3" (posts to do with the egg disappearances, mainly the first few days and the black concrete)

"happy all the time" (happy pills arc)

"a dose of reality" (the end/aftermath of the happy pills arc)

"q viva mexico" (mexican independence day event)

"qsmp dia de muertos"

"qsmp purgatory"

"qsmp purg finale" (or 11/18, what we thought was a finale)

"purg 2 electric boogaloo" / "qpurgatory 2" (AWWW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN)

"@v@" (qforever possession stuff)

qsmp prison event

q2024 opening (YOOO HAPPY NEW YEAR)

A couple other tags!

"qmongus" (qsmp amongus lobby)

"qoutlast" (qsmp plays outlast trials)

"qtwitter” (twitter posts, usually does NOT include event updates tho)

“qsmp event updates” (HERE are the event updates!)

"twitchcon paris" (mostly stuff about qsmp cc's meeting up)

"qsmp brazil meetup"

"qsmp vegas meetup"/"twitchcon vegas"

"qsmp french alps meetup"

“streamer awards 2024”

"fruit mountain tournament" (cellbit's fruit mountain tournament!)

"qpositivity" (positive posts praising qsmp, for when the discourse and neg gets to be too much <3 )

Another random tag I have: "the dynamic of all time" - Posts that give me vibes of a character/relationship dynamic but nothing specific enough to tag it as a given character. I just think they're neat :]

I've watched O Segredo na Floresta! Most of my posts about it are tagged under “curlyosnf”

COME SHOUT AT ME

YOU HEARD ME. ASKS ARE OPEN. TALK TO ME!!!

Bear in mind you might get a wall of text in response. You have been warned.

I remember my ao3 login sometimes

My ao3 is BecausePlot! I haven't been super active recently, but if you're interested in some of my stuff, here's a list of my 10 favorite works atm, from most to least recent <3

Relative (QSMP x Ordem au) (au is tagged: "TWLITFAU")

The Calm (Spiderbit fluff)

Miss Me? (f!Cell shows up at f!Felps' apartment)

Waking Up On The Wrong Side of the Bed (c!Phil in QSMP)

Insanity (q!Cellbit character study)

An.G.E.L.S. (OSMP x Antarctic Empire, Military au)

Danse Macabre (Parentsduo <3)

But You're Not Yourself (c!Phil and c!Techno raising c!Wilbur)

A Helping Hand (Phil gets adopted by a flock of crows)

Take My Hand (Retelling of the handcuff scene from BBC Sherlock: Reichenbach Fall)

Leaving a comment on the fic itself or in my askbox is the best way for me to talk to you and say thank you for reading! Let me appreciate you ya nerd!!

Other Schtuff

My pfp is from GranadaTV's Sherlock Holmes adaptation (with Jeremy Brett), specifically the episode The Greek Interpreter.

My banner is by wolfythewitch (from the Creature animatic I think?? I honestly don't remember lmao.)

My favorite color is green (if you couldn't tell), my favorite animal is horse, my favorite flower is dandelion, my favorite imagery to play with in writing is space/universe/atoms/stars/etc, I'm studying mechanical engineering and physics, I do shitty drawings on super rare occasions, and, last but not least,

If you are a dick about anything you will simply be blocked.

Peace and love on planet earth <3

If you have any questions, send an ask! I hope you enjoy your stay :D

[mylordshesacactus]

thank you for the further bookmark issue. as someone who doesn't really use ao3 (fic isn't so much my thing, etc) but is y'know terminally online it's interesting to see the difference in which bookmarks function there as opposed to most every other site. I had no idea there were people leaving comments and notes on things that could just be seen??? like i hear bookmarks and immediately think 'ah yes the websites i would like to save for later in completely bizarrely named folders that i will most definitely forget about in about 20 seconds max' and not what appears to be a secondary (tertiary?) personal tagging system. and so out of genuine curiosity are there other things on the site that don't really work the same as one might assume? like i'd just default assume that a bookmark would be private and lost to the ages in three sub folders of whatever. again; haven't really used ao3 since um...probably shortly after launch and so haven't ever really like gone into explore more of how it functions beyond the basic tagging system. alternately tho, have bookmarks everywhere always been public in which case i am so sorry to anyone who has opened their how two guide on [random special interest at the time] only to find that somehow it's been associated to a sorting solution that makes sense to no one (especially me.) sorry, hi, not trying to be rude or continue drama just a little lost on the sidelines here.

You're fine!

The thing about AO3 bookmarks that you're (totally understandably, since you don't use the site!) not quite grasping is that, again, it's blatantly clear simply from using the site that they're public. There's a button on every single fic that leads to the bookmarks, and a hyperlink under every single fic summary that does the same thing. The bookmark is a site feature that links back to the original fic, and you can clearly see bookmarks on other users' profiles.

I totally don't blame someone for briefly, initially, assuming bookmarks might be private! My condescending bitchiness is specifically aimed at people who make heavy use of the feature for YEARS and STILL have no concept of how it works, and get angry when corrected--at a certain point, it becomes willful ignorance. You gotta LOOK at the site you're using, and if you refuse to do so, the people around you have every right to get sick of your shit, you know?

So, bookmarks are just really not an example of unintuitive design. Honestly, most of AO3 is extremely clear in how it functions. On any site, it's worth taking five minutes after joining to open different menu options and see what all is available, and AO3's menus are really thorough and very easy to use.

Furthermore, a lot of the things people complain about as if they're...well, for example, the definition of Mature vs Explicit fic, or how archive warnings work. I've seen a lot of people act like it's mysterious or impossible to learn or like it's purely Terminally Online Acquired Fandom Knowledge, and get frustrated by being expected to "just know" how ratings or relationship tags work. And I'm FULLY sympathetic to that! There's nothing more frustrating or upsetting than everyone around you acting like you're supposed to "just know" how something works, "just know" an entire subculture!

Here's the thing though.

AO3 has tooltips built in to explain those things.

They're not esoteric nebulous Fandom Knowledge TM that you have to learn by meditating on a mountainside! And they're not totally meaningless terms that people being sticklers about are just gatekeeping over. On AO3, they have specific meanings and usages, and the explanations DON'T require you to go poking around the FAQ or Q&A sections of the site! They're easily accessible right from the relevant pages.

(I realize that I am, in general, kind of a sarcastic bitch, so I want to be very clear that my tone in this specific post is NOT sarcastic and I am NOT trying to come across as pissy or condescending--you asked a legit question in good faith and I'm happy to talk about it.)

I don't know that this is really the answer you were looking for, but I think it's the most productive answer I could give! The site is very self-explanatory for anyone who cares to use it.

It's a little like hiking. It doesn't matter how well-marked the trailheads are if someone refuses to pay attention to their surroundings.

[muskywolfthings]

Hello hello! Hope you guys are doing well :3 I’ve made it my new mission to be more active on here, even besides posting stories- because Tumblr has always brought me a lot of joy, with the people, and writers, and artists, and readers, and even just lurking anons lol. Tumblr used to be my happy place, and I really need more of that in my life as of late.

I’m in the process of moving some fics over to Archive, and I’ve been writing more recently- just personal things, nothing crazy, but Sterek has really gotten its grip back into me- tho I’m also still knee deep in Geraskier content after becoming obsessed with The Witcher lol- and I’m optimistic about getting back into writing for you guys as well! Slowly, but surely. No more deadlines, no more promises, no more having grand expectations of myself to write and be here as much as I used to- cuz I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be as devoted to my accounts as I once was. But I can surely get close to feel myself again 😁❤️‍🔥

I started Kinkmas in 2020, burned out fast, and then took a test hiatus lol- but I loved the fics I produced for the first few days, so I think I’m gonna continue Kinkmas this year. /Slowly. I’ll upload my fics I’ve written so far to a Kinkmas collection on AO3, and then continue from there- tho I may only do like a 25 days of Kinkmas type thing, and pick and choose kinks from the list for those days? Idk, sort of bending the rules a bit, and I’ll probably extend way past December to fill them all- but I genuinely do want to complete a Kinkmas, since I never participated before when I was just putting things out regularly anyways. So there’s that lol

Idk, I’m feeling better about certain things, worse about others, but being in this space on tumblr makes me feel at home. Writing for myself, and for you guys makes me happy in a way I can’t express. And I’m committed to making more time for it. If not for anyone else, than for myself

I was never one for a TON of interaction, I always just sort of wrote stories, filled prompts, and kept it pushing. But I would love to hear more from you guys as I attempt to get back into the slow swing of things! Send me asks, lemme know how you are- if you’re enjoying fics, etc. just chat me up sometime, I’d love to hear from any and all of you :3

I will also attempt to be more active on my AO3 going forward, answering comments and the like, since I always forget those are a thing.

But yeah! Long winded post to say in here, I’m listening, I’m writing, and trying to integrate myself back into this space that’s made me so happy for so many years. I hope you’re all doing well, and yeah! I’m usually around for messages, or asks, submissions. The works.

Love all you guys so much ❤️‍🔥

~Musky 🌚

[diabeticgirl4]

I was originally gonna do this after finishing campaign 2/ right before starting campaign 3, but then I remembered I'm going to a cr panel this Saturday and I'm bound to get spoiled AF so I want to get my thoughts out before then lol.

Aka- here's what I (maybe?) know about cr3 without actually knowing a single thing about it.

Player characters: FCG/Fresh Cut Grass??? (Sam's), Fearne (Ashley's, at some point?), imogen/laudra(?) (marisha's/laura's, don't ask me whose is whose, I have no idea lol), orym(sp?)/ashton(?) (Taliesin's and liam's- again idk which is which lol). ??????? (Aka does Travis even have a character this campaign?? I swear I haven't heard a single thing about his pc). I'm also p sure I heard about Ashley's pc dying early at one point, I know nothing about that character. Also I think (based off a pinterest comment I saw) either Taliesin's, Liam's or Laura's (??) pc also die possibly in the same episode? Big shrug i don't know anything about that.

(Onto what I know about each character:)

Sam's- a robot??? Literal robot?? (Hey Sam what dnd race is that just curious??) Named FCG which apparently stands for Fresh Cut Grass??? I think that was a secret for a good while. Also side note, I don't know anyone's class in this campaign. They are still playing dnd 5e yeah?? Anyways. Childlike robot. I guess. I think there's been some discourse on whether fcg is Sus or just weird or what, but also from what I've heard sam is just playing him completely genuinely childlike and innocent. idk what to make of this.

Liam's- oh!! This is the backup character he's talked about for ages!! The air ashari (race?? I think he's something small, halfling maybe?) guy who's husband died and he's on a grief mission or something. Is named either Ashton or orym, idk which is which. also iirc liam's character in the Dalen's Closet one-shot was his current pc's stepson? or something? idk fun fact I guess? idk I think he's just a sad boi. liam's fave lmao.

Taliesin's- his pc is the one liams isn't lmao. I think he's orym??? I know next to nothing. I keep seeing a character w like. Gem growth on his shoulders or something?? Or wait I think I remember hearing something about an earth genasi? If so that checks out I guess? Idk I couldn't tell you anything else about him lmao. I get punk vibes off his pc art tho.

Laura's/marisha's- they share a bullet point bc I legit don't know the difference. Laudra and Imogen? At least one of them is v goth and angsty and terrible past a la yasha lol. She's like an undead human the same way costco guy from c2 was? Legit don't know anything about the other. They're a canon couple at some point? Like I think somewhat recently they kissed and everyone went nuts over it? Let's go lesbians?

Ashley's- from my understanding she had a first character that died so then she brought in Fearne. I know absolutely nothing about this first character. In every art I've seen of fearne I would do anything for her, she looks so lovely omg. She's like. what's it called a satyr or something?? she looks at least part fae and like. part goat or something. they're rly going outside the normal dnd races this time huh. also she has very much "looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you" vibes. I love her already. also I'm p sure she's a spellcaster of some kind, I wanna guess druid. this is purely based off one of ashley's podcast intros where she mentions scrying in a voice that's neither pike's nor yasha's so I'm gonna guess it's fearne lol.

Travis's- ???????? I legit don't know anything about his character. I'm trying to remember names I've seen on ao3 and I'm blanking. He's still in this campaign right???? idk what to tell u. I'm assuming he's playing a guy lol. idk man.

Other things I know??

Apparently they bring in a bunch of guests at some point (like the slayers take mini arc in c1 maybe? Where they split the party and bring guests?) And all I remember hearing about emily axford from naddpod. I'm v excited to see her w the cr crew.

Something about an orgy?? As a main plot point?? I'm mildly concerned.

I have no idea when/where this takes place, at least 20-30 years post-c1 and at least partially in taldorei?? I know they go to Whitestone and talk to Actual Percival de Rolo (and/or one of his kids?) And I'm beyond hyped for that lmao. don't know if any other c1 pc's make an appearance.

Although I guess at some point keyleth returns and/or nearly dies and vax comes to her rescue except he gets turned into a ball? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

idk if this was fandom joking or if it actually happened but I remember hearing talk about all 3 of marisha's characters being in the same room or something. I know about keyleth but beau makes a cameo??

Also something about the moon. Moon(s). Moon drama? Not to trust the moon idk.

I remember seeing a vague post about how caduceus would have fared better w the c3 crew as opposed to the c2 crew. I'm not completely done w c2 yet (just starting ep 120!) so idk what to make of this. from vague vibes and discussions c3 crew is basically chaos incarnate? their morals are hand-wavy at best? they're just Weird? heck if I know.

Yeah I have no idea of anything lol. Also I've kinda heard mixed reviews, but I'm still v intrigued and can't wait to start listening.

[hajimine]

THIS IS GOODBYE !! >:)

long story short, i wanna focus on my uni work + my real life more but tumblr is way too addicting so i’m gonna have to kick it out of my life entirely <3

but for all you nosy people out there (yes you reading this rn i know you wanna snoop around mhm) here’s a way-too-long explanation as to why i’m gonna go ghost ! woo !

on this post i’ll also be answering some of the asks i frequently get so please read through them before asking again ! having to repeat myself again and again gets really tiring v.v

KEEPING IN CONTACT

discord: send an ask off anon/dm me !

new blog: anyone without bad intentions are welcome, moots or not ! just send an ask off anon <3

THE BASICS

why are you leaving? i’ve sort of explained it before the cut but yeah, tumblr is a lot of fun and i do still enjoy writing, but i feel like i waste way too much time on here and get nothing valuable in return, so i’d rather focus my time and energy on something much more important to me like my studies.

but.. you can just cut down on your posting, why leave entirely? nah im an all or nothing type of gal so that won’t work for me. i’ll go back down the obsessive rabbithole and repeat the cycle, so i’d rather do a full detox yk?

wtf why all of a sudden? i know i know sorry lol :,) i just realized that i need to get my shit together and set my priorities straight and this is the best way to do it.

why are you making such a big deal out of this? shhhhhhhut up. some people asked me about it and they’re curious, so if you aren’t, then gtfo ^^ also i don’t want to leave without an explanation bc i’ve been on the receiving end before and i know that it’s not a pleasant feeling to find out that someone you liked/followed disappeared without warning.

THE BLOG

will you deactivate? no probably not. i love this blog it has lots of good memories :>

will you delete your works? as of now, nope. but there’s a pretty big possibility that i’ll say fuck it and delete everything so enjoy them while they last hehe

do you have a new blog? yep! it’s a personal blog though, and i might or might not write again on the new blog—so don’t get your hopes up. if you do want to keep chatting with me, i’m more than happy to hang out with you there! (i won’t be as active there as i was here though)

are you gonna continue writing? in the long run: most probably yeah. i love writing so i’ll probably find my way back here (or on ao3!) but right now, i need to learn what kind of things i want to prioritize my energy on, and writing fanfiction is just… not it lol

blog giveaway? no go away

。。。

braindump:

personally, i’ve had my fair share of discourses and i have come across some nasty people in the various fandoms i’m in, but i don’t think it’s fair to hate an entire group of people just because some people are absolute shitheads. so no, i’m not leaving bc i hate the hq fandom or the jjk fandom or whatever the fuck, i enjoyed my time here bc i never took tumblr seriously—all my love goes to the fandoms tho i hope u guys won’t go up in flames w the amount of dumb discourses i see on dash v.v also no, i’m not leaving bc of hate or anything like that please don’t worry!

i’ve only been here since october 2020 (and started this blog in dec) but it’s been a lot of fun !! so thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with me and my content, all my moots, my lovely anons and followers, i wouldn’t have stayed here if it weren’t for u guys xoxo. also, i’ve met some of my genuine close friends on here, and i have this dumb site to thank for that :>

and to those mfs who have sent me anon hate, talked shit behind my back, plagiarized me, stolen my ideas, stirred up discourse just for the funzies, etc, u guys are disgusting and i’m glad im not gonna see u again. i hope u get well soon. or not. idc <3

if you’ve read this far and you still wanna snoop around well uh, feel free to ask me anything and i’ll try my best to answer >:)

。。。

@ anons i hope u don’t mind that i’m answering your questions this way whoops

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[kuiinncedes]

relight that spark

jatp au - chapter 1 - part 2/15? - 9,385 words

the prologue/part 1 (tumblr link) if you missed it!! (ao3 link) :D

so obviously this is pretty slowly updating already and it probably willll get worse 🤪 i might post the next part in like a week tho, it's not a full "episode" chapter and i already have it fully written and i'm pretty happy with it 😗✌️

this chapter is pretty long and i apologize for that bc i know i get annoyed when i have to stop in the middle of a long chapter and then my phone like loses my spot or whatever lakdshgjfs but idk how else to do it so .. just have my apology lol sorryyy <3 the next "episode" chapter is looking to be longer tho sdlkhglsj

LASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLY A HUGE MASSIVE FUCKING THANK YOU TO MEG @neversatisfiedwithlife FOR BETA READING THIS FOR MEEEE AND BEING SO SUPPORTIVE AND WONDERFUL LOVE YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SM 💞💖💓💗💕

chapter title and lyrics in this part from "wake up" from the julie and the phantoms soundtrack (whichhh if you haven't heard it... you should listen to it after reading maybe 👀)

plot and a lot of the dialogue from julie and the phantoms so like credit to all those creators and writers 🤪

warnings for this chapter: grief, mentioned character death (regarding kurt's mom)

read below the cut or here on ao3!! <3

--

2020

There’s a deep-seated weight of dread in Kurt’s stomach that he’s unable to ignore for the entire morning.

His last chance at the music program -- he needs to play again today, for the first time in over a year, or he’s done.

It’s all he can think about all day. He makes it through his first few classes, somehow, walking through the halls almost mindlessly, thoughts far away and only worrying about what he’s going to do, barely paying attention to who he’s almost running into, because he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

It almost feels like last year again, when school started and everyone knew and everyone was staring at him in the hallways, even though he knows that they’re not right now and he knows most of these people couldn’t care less about him not being able to play at this point, but in his head it feels like they all know, like they’re all waiting, waiting and watching for him to play again and sing again.

He has been, too, for over a year.

He stops at his locker to wait for Mercedes before going to class.

“We’re gonna get tattoos together,” comes her familiar voice out of nowhere.

Involuntarily, Kurt smiles a little, turning to Mercedes. “Umm…?”

She shrugs and smiles back at him. “You know, when we’re adults and out in New York together or something. Just -- you know, at some point.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow, silently saying, where the hell did this come from. Mercedes raises both of hers as if to say, answer the question. “Just curious,” she adds out loud. “Could start planning them now.”

He chuckles. “Of course. I’ll get all the matching tattoos with you.”

Grins and silent agreement pass between them and they both turn toward the lockers, a welcome break in the slowest part of the day, the voices and noises of other students filling the air.

“I know you don’t want me to ask, but…” Mercedes starts slowly after a moment, and Kurt nods his head in acknowledgement; he knows what she’s going to say. “Do you know what you’re going to do today?”

He puts some books in his backpack, mainly for something to do. “I’ll know in the moment,” he says, somewhat truthfully. He could just say what he thinks will happen, which is nothing. But Mercedes can see right through him anyway, so might as well stay somewhat positive until it happens. Or rather, doesn’t happen.

Mercedes sighs a little. “Mrs. Harrison said today is your last chance,” she tries, leaning on her side against the lockers.

“I know, I was there,” Kurt says lightly, letting his eyes scan the contents of his locker a tenth time. Mercedes reaches over and squeezes his hand lightly. Her eyes tell him that she’ll stop talking about it for now, and he squeezes back gratefully.

The conversation with Mercedes has really helped, though; it always does. If he’s going to spectacularly embarrass himself in front of his music class, and probably for the last time, at least he’ll have Mercedes there.

She sees it in his smile, and she sends it back. You always will, is her silent whisper.

A sharp, cheery voice pierces the air and makes them both turn their heads, and the uplifted mood from the conversation with Mercedes disappears when Kurt sees none other than Quinn Fabray, in her Cheerios! uniform, complete with a tight ponytail and perfect smile as she hands out what appears to be flyers to passing students, who are immediately won over by her status, closeness, sweetness. Finn Hudson lingers behind her with his guitar case and his own stack of flyers that he’s not handing out nearly as enthusiastically.

“Spirit rally Friday!” Quinn’s saying as she all but shoves another flyer into the face of a nervous freshman who takes it and scurries away, doing a double-take once they pass her. “Come see the Cheerios! do their new routine, and my group, the Unholy Trinity, perform our brand new original song!”

“What’s she handing out?” Kurt whispers to Mercedes. A corner of his lip quirks up despite the general unpleasantness of seeing Quinn.

“Desperation?” she answers with a small smirk. When Kurt turns back, Quinn is in front of him. He holds back a grimace at her fake smile and cheeriness.

“Hey, guys!” she chirps, as if they’re just any two other students at this school. “Here you go, my group’s performing at the spirit assembly on Friday!”

Kurt flinches back a little as a flyer appears much too close to his face and he takes it instinctively, holding it lightly in his fingertips. It truly looks like something Quinn designed -- perfectly professional, impressive, eye-catching -- and he can’t say it looks bad, as much as he might want to. He eyes Quinn over the top of the flyer.

“I’m sure you guys have nothing better to do,” Quinn continues, that smile still on her face, and there are the claws, Kurt thinks as he resists the urge to rip up the flyer right in front of her.

“Oh, my gosh, Quinn, thank you!” Mercedes says in an exaggeratedly sweet voice, clearly -- or at least clearly to Kurt, and likely Quinn as well -- imitating the specific tone of voice that Quinn takes, and Kurt stifles a laugh.

“Oh my gosh, Cedes, don’t bother coming!” Quinn says with a wide smile, turning away with a whip of her ponytail to continue pushing her flyers.

Kurt looks back at Mercedes, mumbling, “She did not just call you Cedes,” while Mercedes crumples up the flyer in her hands.

“Well, she did,” Mercedes says. Kurt can see the anger behind her eyes and he raises a concerned eyebrow. “I’m fine. She just… you know.” She dismisses his silent question.

“Yeah.” He loops his arm through Mercedes’ and they head down the hallway, almost running into Finn not three steps from Kurt’s locker.

“Oh, hey, sorry guys!” he says with a sheepish but genuine smile that contains all the warmth missing from Quinn’s. “Did you -- I guess Quinn already got -- ”

“Yep, she got to us,” Cedes says quickly, steering Kurt around Finn. “Thanks, Finn, bye!”

“Please tell me you are over him,” Mercedes says when they’re in a quieter area at the end of the row of lockers. Kurt realizes he’s staring and quickly looks away.

“Yeah, I am.” Mercedes looks at him skeptically and he insists, “I am, promise! You just… don’t find a nice jock like him around here that much.”

She nods, satisfied, and raises her eyebrows meaningfully. “You know they’re going to get married and have a bunch of demon babies.”

Kurt’s jaw drops open slightly and he laughs. “You can’t say Finn isn’t a sweetheart.”

“Only one of them has to be a demon to make a demon baby,” Mercedes says matter-of-factly.

“What… it’s a dominant gene?”

“Of course.” Mercedes turns back toward Quinn and raises her voice. “Demon!”

The two of them push against the wall, hiding behind the end of the lockers, when Quinn snaps her gaze back. Kurt can’t hold his laughs in this time, and he feels a little bad about it, but… considering what Quinn’s done to them, he can let himself and Cedes get away with it.

“There’s that smile,” Mercedes says gently as they gather themselves. “Now let’s go prove everybody wrong.” She pulls him toward the music room and slowly but surely, the sickening feeling in his stomach returns. He sits down next to Mercedes and just breathes. She squeezes his hand again.

Mrs. Harrison starts class soon after they arrive, getting into the last of the progress performances which are both a chance for the students to show off to their classmates, and also a checkpoint for participation in the music program, which is the part Kurt’s concerned about.

He barely hears as Finn finishes his drum solo and everyone claps and then Mrs. Harrison is calling his name and he’s standing and walking to the piano and oh god.

“Take your time,” Mrs. Harrison says gently.

That’s all he’s been doing for almost a year, just taking his time, but nothing has come of it. He sits down slowly, opening his music in front of him but it’s like his eyes don’t see the notes and just gloss over the page. He looks down at the keys, sets his fingers in place reluctantly.

It’s been so long that the keys almost feel foreign under his fingers when they once were the most familiar thing in the world. It’s been so long that he barely remembers how the song should go and why did he think he could just do this, it doesn’t matter how good at sightreading he’s always been. It’s been so long of him locking the memories in a chained and padlocked safe in the back of his mind and he’s terrified of playing again being what opens it because playing and singing and music has always always meant Mom, and she’s gone which he still sometimes forgets and it always hurts like hell to remember again, so letting himself remember so much more will only make reality that much worse. It’s been so long and what if he’s forgotten, what if he opens himself to the memories just to find that they don’t exist anymore?

It’s been so long; it’s been over a year, but doesn’t that mean he should be fine by now?

He knows avoiding the memories hasn’t been the best idea, but right now he can’t think of anything he could have done differently, can’t linger and regret his choices because he feels so vulnerable and exposed finally sitting at the piano in front of his whole class for the first time in a year, and the choice is right there and maybe he could do it but not in front of everyone his brain screams, and he can almost feel Quinn’s sharp, judging, so far from friendly gaze fixed on him and that is what breaks it, that is something he definitely can’t take and he pulls his hands back with a short inhale and the whirlwind in his mind stops and he can mostly breathe again.

It’s been so long.

Heart still pounding, he gets up and apologizes to Mrs. Harrison because she really has tried to help him and he appreciates it but he still can’t, and Quinn makes some comment and Mercedes fires something back but he doesn’t hear any of it, he just has to leave.

He knows Mercedes follows him out and she calls out his name when he’s halfway down the stairs. He’s started crying at some point and he doesn’t know when. All of it is just such a mess and so present in his mind; he was so close to music again, to Mom, but he’s not ready. He’s scared.

“Kurt,” Cedes calls again, quieter, her voice soft and choked, pleading. “Come on, please. Come back… and show them you can sing .”

He turns to look at her at the top of the stairs. “I can’t,” he says, voice rough with tears. “I’ve tried, for over a year I’ve tried…. I’ve tried for Dad, I’ve tried for Mrs. Harrison, fuck, I’ve even tried for Quinn.” He gives a short, bitter laugh as more tears spill down his cheeks.

“I’ve tried so hard for you.” He gestures up to her, voice breaking. “I’ve tried for Mom.” He closes his eyes for a moment, takes a breath. “And I’ve tried for myself.” Mercedes is also crying a little now.

“For over a year, I’ve tried,” Kurt continues weakly. “But I just -- I can’t. Not… not now.”

He runs down the rest of the stairs and out the door, and he knows he just got himself kicked out of music, knows he just ruined everything.

--

From mercedes 💖, 2:04 pm:

Are you leaving?

From mercedes 💖, 2:06

Tell me when you get home. I love you

To mercedes 💖, 2:08 pm:

i will, at the park for now

From mercedes 💖, 2:10 pm:

I’ll bring your stuff around later.

To mercedes 💖, 2:10 pm:

thank you

To mercedes 💖, 2:11 pm:

i love you. i’m sorry

From mercedes 💖, 2:12 pm:

Nothing to be sorry for, just take care of yourself okay?

From mercedes 💖, 2:13 pm:

Give yourself a hug from me until I get there to do it for you

--

“Hey, kiddo, how was your day?” Burt asks as he walks in, putting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder who’s doing homework at the kitchen table.

“It was okay,” Kurt responds with a small but hopefully convincing smile to hide the worry eating away at him inside, because if the school’s already contacted his dad about today, about Kurt ruining his last chance…

“I gotta go again in a bit,” Burt says, taking a drink of water. “Some guy really needs a car fix by tomorrow morning, but I’ll be done by dinner.” Kurt nods, some relief flooding his veins. He turns back to his homework.

“Oh, another thing,” Burt says and Kurt stiffens again. “I wanted to come and check in with you -- I talked to a real estate agent today, and they said if we’re serious about selling the house, we need to take some pictures and stuff, clean everything… and I was wondering if you’re up for cleaning Mom’s studio?”

Kurt’s immediate surprise and hesitance must show on his face even as he tries to keep his composure, because Burt quickly assures, “It’s okay if you’re not ready, I promise; we have time. You know I just -- I wouldn’t even know where to start in there.”

Kurt smiles a little. “No, it’s okay,” he says. “I can try tonight.”

“Awesome.” Burt ruffles Kurt’s hair, which from anyone else other than maybe Mercedes would not end particularly well, but Kurt just laughs and tries to brush the loose strands out of his eyes. “I’ll see you later, Kurt. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Dad.”

Kurt exhales slowly as his dad leaves again.

Cleaning out the studio means having to confront exactly what he’s tried to avoid for a year. The disaster that was music class today doesn’t make him feel better about it… but at least this time he’ll be alone -- none of the pressure of having to live up to the standards of well-meaning teachers or aggressive ex-best friends, none of the pressure of having to play at all, especially from the competitive nature at school. And… maybe he needs it.

Moving from here will only help you move on. Kurt’s aunt’s words echo in his mind. A part of him recoils at the idea of leaving his childhood home -- leaving the spaces his mom used to inhabit and her light and energy used to fill to the brim -- and starting over, someplace where there are none of those memories… he can’t tell if that’s a good thing. It feels like more of the running away that he’s been doing for a year, and he wonders if it really will solve anything.

But maybe he does need it. If staying in this house for the last year hasn’t helped, a change would be good, right?

Turning back to his work, he takes a deep breath and starts planning dinner in his head. He’ll tackle the studio after dinner’s ready.

--

To Dad, 7:39 pm:

dinner’s done, i’ll be in the studio

Kurt takes a slow breath as he opens the doors to the garage.

It’s not that it’s his first time in the studio after his mom died -- someone had to water the plants -- but he kept any interaction with the rest of the room minimal, so it still feels different to take in the full space instead of just rushing to the plants in the back with his head down. It always came with some guilt; it felt like the least he could do to keep some life in the studio when he could barely even bring himself to enter, let alone fill it with music as it needs to be.

He walks in slowly, some apprehension tickling the back of his neck, trying to stay calm. The familiarity is almost overwhelming this time as he looks around, actually taking in the room. The guitars on the wall, the couch and table, all of his mom’s decorations and knick-knacks. The chairs on the ceiling, story told with a fond smile from his dad about his mom wanting to decorate in a fun special way even while 7 months pregnant. The plants in the back, flourishing in front of the wall of windows positioned to let in the sunrise beautifully, not that Kurt has seen it happen recently.

And the grand piano -- in the center of the room, covered with a sheet, neglected for over a year. Kurt pulls it off now absentmindedly, letting the fabric pool over his feet. He takes a deep breath even though he probably just filled the air with dust, and goes over to the bench. He doesn’t open the lid, not yet. Some sheet music is on the seat and he places it on the piano without looking, sits down and gently touches the fallboard, inhaling shakily, not opening it to reveal the keys but just… remembering what it used to be, what it used to -- still means….

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut, “that I haven’t been here.”

With his eyes closed against the dark emptiness of the room, he can almost forget. It’s too easy to think that when he opens his eyes, his mom will be there, and she’ll be writing a song with him, or she’ll be playing, or they’ll just be talking…

Before the idea can flood his mind and leave him reeling when he returns to reality, Kurt stands and looks around the room again. There really is a strangeness to the place now. What used to be so comfortable and an extension of home -- sometimes even more home than the main house -- was always warm and brimming with emotion and joy and music and life -- now cold and dark and hollow, quiet. The familiar bones have an unsettling foreign emptiness around them. It feels wrong.

It needs to be filled. But… Kurt can’t do that.

He misses his mom -- always, but it’s amplified in this space that was always hers. He misses the feeling that the studio used to bring, that spirit that is now dimmed and suppressed. Covered, but still there. He can feel it like a gentle heat behind his skin. Not bad, but overwhelming, and he just….

The loft, Kurt decides suddenly. He’ll start with the loft. There aren’t memories and emotions so confusing and thick there that he’s barely able to avoid it, to push his way through with no energy left to untangle and understand. The loft is just full of random old stuff that his mom wouldn’t throw out and his dad teased her about.

So the loft first. And then he can ease into the rest when he’s more ready. After all, his dad did say they have time.

It’s significantly dustier in the loft; old instruments and random bags full of clothes are scattered and piled across the floor, his own electric keyboard propped up against the wall. Kurt stands on the stepladder a few steps below the actual loft floor, looks around a little, his eyes landing on a CD case lying on the ground -- black with a simple stark white word design: Sunset Curve. He picks it up, eyeing it thoughtfully, brings it back down to the main floor and decides to put it into the old CD player.

He doesn’t really know why he has such an urge all of a sudden. He’s listened to some music, but not nearly as much as before, and has actually chosen to listen to music only a handful of times since his mom died.

But… the studio needs music. As an apology for a year of neglect, and as a goodbye, he can let this music redeem the studio’s spirit a little, fill what he’s left hollow.

And he doesn’t want to be alone in the silence with his memories while he’s going through everything, even just in the loft. As something completely unfamiliar and random, this can give him the distraction and none of the pain. At least, that’s the plan.

Stepping down from the loft stairs, he glances at the picture in the CD case as he opens it -- a band of four who all look like teenagers, staring seriously into the camera -- he doesn’t get a good look at them, just slides the disc into the CD player and takes a seat on the couch.

The opening song starts strong with a gritty guitar riff and a 1, 2, 3! counting the band in. Despite himself, Kurt starts nodding along to the beat. It really is a great song, unique and upbeat…

Then some kind of… panicked screaming makes itself heard, first quietly and he thinks it could be part of the song, but it crescendos and gets unbearably loud --

And then there are three strangers appearing out of thin air before his eyes, screaming as they fall to the ground heavily. Kurt would wince at the sound of the impact --

That part’s certainly unlike any CD he’s listened to before.

He’s frozen, heart hammering and eyes widening as he stares at the three strangers picking themselves up off the ground, taking in their surroundings a little…

“How’d we get back here?” the middle one -- a shorter guy with black hair -- says breathlessly.

Kurt screams.

--

It’s not his finest moment, but three complete strangers just appeared in his mom’s studio, seemingly just popping into the air, and he can’t say he’s never been superstitious in his entire life or that he isn’t drawing immediate conclusions -- supernatural conclusions, fucking ridiculous conclusions. He doesn’t love that he runs into his dad on his way back into the house which may have also involved a little yelling about seeing ghosts (ghosts who screamed back, for the record), but he makes it to the safety of his room and texts Mercedes frantically, who doesn’t respond.

“Come on, Cedes,” he hisses to himself, shooting off another text. “Answer me!”

A knock from his doorway startles him and he just barely manages to hold back a shout, turning to see his dad leaning into his room hesitantly.

“You okay?”

Kurt gives him what must be a hysterical-looking attempt at a reassuring smile, all wide eyes and clenched teeth. “Yeah, no, totally fine, sorry for -- scaring you,” he replies choppily, tone not even convincing to himself. “Just, um, practicing for a school play.”

Burt definitely doesn’t believe him, but nods slowly anyway. “Well, I’m gonna go clean up -- ” He gestures over his shoulder with a grease-covered hand. “Dinner in like, ten minutes?”

“Yeah. Sounds good,” Kurt says shortly, forcing another smile and a thumbs-up.

As soon as the door closes, Kurt turns back toward his window and tries to get a glance of the studio, but it’s blocked from this angle by the trees in their yard. Apprehensively, he heads back to the garage, thankfully not running into his dad this time, phone in hand and thumb hovering over Mercedes’ phone contact.

When he goes in, it’s empty; no sign of anything out of the ordinary happening.

He scans the space warily, feeling jumpy and nervous, but nothing happens and he mumbles, “I know I saw something, I’m not crazy.”

He hears a soft popping noise and then, “Well, we’re all a little crazy,” from behind him and he turns with a sharp gasp.

“Oh, my god, who are you?” Kurt yells, maybe a little too loud because the black-haired boy winces slightly and all three of them step back a little. “What the hell are you doing in my mom’s studio?”

“Your mom’s studio?” the black-haired guy scoffs. “This is our studio!”

The tall blonde guy bounces forward. “Yeah, like, the piano’s new, but -- ” He looks to the right and his face lights up. “My couch!” he calls, running over and jumping straight onto it.

The girl -- hair black and in braids -- rolls her eyes. “Not your couch, Sam.”

The blonde -- Sam? -- sits up indignantly, stabbing a finger in the cushions. “Hey, I spent more time on this couch than any of you. Pretty sure it’s mine at this point.”

Kurt just watches them with wide eyes, jaw hanging open, with absolutely no idea what to do.

“But these aren’t our instruments,” the black-haired guy says warily, looking around. At some point he and the girl have linked arms, Kurt notices. He watches as they all take in the studio, faces getting increasingly confused and worried. Kurt raises an eyebrow that apparently can go higher than it already is.

“Because… it’s my mom’s studio…” he manages to say again, mind still whirling at the hurricane of new and completely nonsensical information.

“Can you just -- give us a minute?” Sam says, jumping over the coffee table to join his friends. They turn away to talk in a huddle, and Kurt stands awkwardly as they talk in failed attempts at hushed tones.

--

Tina’s trying to ignore the pounding of her possibly-only-theoretical heart -- she’s dead, how can she even feel a heartbeat -- as she watches Blaine and Sam talk to the… living person in front of them. Sam makes his usual comment about “his couch” and Tina snarks back with her usual response and it gives her some comfort, some familiarity even in this studio which should feel like home, has for so long, and it still does to an extent, but everything here is suddenly different.

The comment does send the strange boy’s attention back to her, though, which she doesn’t really like. Blaine wraps an arm around hers and she squeezes his forearm in gratitude. He did that a lot when they were alive -- knew how and when to offer her his touch to reassure her a little.

At least there’s something that’s still the same.

At least her boys are still the same.

She tries to focus on Blaine’s arm in hers, on Sam’s dumb comments as he comes bounding back to them, hissing, “Guys, what is going on here?”

Tina shrugs. Blaine whispers, “Who is he?”

“He can hear you,” the person in question says pointedly from behind them, but Sam ignores him and says, “Maybe he’s a witch.” He looks up, pointing. “There are chairs on the ceiling.”

“There’s no such thing as witches,” Tina hisses.

“Are you sure?” Sam shoots back. “Because I used to think there was no such thing as ghosts!”

Tina swallows. “That’s fair.”

“So we’re going with witch?” Blaine asks.

“No!” Tina waves her hands at both of them. “No, come on. You guys are just -- he’s probably just overwhelmed, okay? Let someone with a softer touch handle this.”

Maybe “softer touch” wasn’t the right phrase to use in this instance, she thinks, but she really just wants answers and figures she might as well be straightforward. “Why are you in our studio?” she asks, maybe a little too aggressively, stepping up to the alive stranger.

He looks down with a shocked expression and Tina realizes she accidentally got close enough to touch him -- or… pass her hand through his, partially. They both watch as he brings his hand through hers again. It’s a weird feeling -- warm and kind of tingly, or like she’s putting her hand through water.

“Oh my god,” he says, eyes wide. “How did you do that?”

Tina raises their eyebrows a little. “Okay, clearly you don’t -- clearly, he doesn’t get it,” she says, addressing the guys behind her. She turns back to the stranger, gesturing to herself and the others as she explains, “We’re ghosts. We’re just three ghosts, and we’re really happy to be home, so… thank you for the flowers; they really brighten up the room.” She tries to smile at him.

“We’re actually in a band called Sunset Curve,” Blaine pipes up, stepping up to flank her on the left.

“Tell your friends!” chimes Sam on her right.

“Last night was a really big night for us,” Blaine says, a little sadly. “It was gonna change our lives.”

Tina whispers, “Uh, I’m pretty sure it did.” Blaine huffs and elbows her gently.

“This is freaking me out,” the stranger says, shaking his head as he takes something from his pocket.

“What is that; what are you doing?” Blaine asks.

Alive Stranger looks up, fingers still touching the face of the object. “It’s my phone -- nope, stop talking to them! There’s no such thing as cute ghosts,” he says, seemingly to himself.

Sam gasps. “Think we’re cute?” He raises an eyebrow, making one of his insufferable Sam faces; Tina almost laughs.

The boy looks up again with wide eyes, gaze flitting to each of them as if watching for a reaction, swallowing and going back to his phone.

“Who’re you calling?” Tina asks, trying to see the side facing him because that doesn’t look like any phone she’s ever seen.

“I’m googling Sunset Swerve.”

“Sunset Curve!” Blaine, Sam, and Tina correct him at the same time, Sam drawing a curve in the air with his finger.

The stranger laughs nervously, staring at them with wide eyes and then back at his phone. “Okay… so there is a Sunset Curve.” He swallows again. “You guys did die. But not last night.” Tina’s stomach drops a little; Blaine and Sam get closer.

“Twenty-five… years ago,” the boy finishes, a confused look in his eyes.

Tina barely has time to register this before Sam says, “That’s impossible. All we did after we floated out of the car was go to that weird dark room where Tina cried.”

Her mouth drops open. “I wasn’t -- I -- we -- ” she squeaks, voice jumping up an octave. “I think we were all pretty upset,” she says, but she supposes Sam is right.

He pats her back and doesn’t have a chance to respond again because Blaine steps in, “That was just for, like, an hour, though. We just showed up here.” Tina and Sam nod.

“Look,” the living one says, finally turning his “phone” toward them. They lean forward to see a screen with a photo of them -- and Artie, Tina thinks distantly; she feels his absence acutely and it spikes through her chest -- taken for their summer tour, and a bunch of small text around it that she can’t read, a bold headline at the top reading, Sunset Curve: A Hollywood Tragedy. “I’m just telling you what my phone says,” he explains. “You guys died in 1995. It’s now 2020.”

“So this is the future?” Sam asks incredulously as the boy pulls his phone back. Something else sticks out in Tina’s mind, though.

���So -- it has been twenty-five years,” she says, pausing to gather her thoughts. “I have been crying for twenty-five years -- how is that possible?!”

“You’re a very emotional person,” Sam reasons.

“I am not!” she insists, but the tears already pressing in the back of her throat want to prove otherwise. Distantly, she reminds herself that she’s with her friends who’ve seen it all and she doesn’t need to hold back, but the presence of this complete stranger also overrides the ease of her relationship with the guys. Sam rubs a comforting hand over her shoulder, and she swallows the tears down.

Alive Stranger shakes his head. “I gotta go… eat dinner,” he says slowly. He turns back around once he’s walked past the three of them and says, “Look, I’m really sorry for what happened to you guys, but this isn’t your studio anymore. You have to leave.”

“But we -- ” Blaine starts, starting to go forward but a sharp glare stops him and he clears his throat. “We didn’t even get your name.”

“It’s Kurt,” the stranger snaps.

“Cool, I’m -- Blaine,” Blaine says hesitantly. “And this is…”

“Sam, hey.”

“Tina, how’s it going…”

“Ba-da,” Blaine sings weakly, gesturing his hands in front of them like he’s presenting them to Kurt.

They all watch for Kurt’s reaction, but he just sighs and leaves the studio. He leaves the doors open, probably to remind them that they technically just got kicked out of their studio -- or, Kurt’s mom’s studio -- someone’s studio, but really it’s been their home for so long…

“Kurt seems nice,” Sam says cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.

Tina turns to him. “Did you miss the part where he kicked us out, or…” she says drily. Sam shrugs, a hint of a smirk on his face. “Okay,” Tina mutters, turning to wander around the studio some more. If they’re going to be kicked out, she wants to spend as much more time as she can here.

--

Kurt’s mind is a storm. He doesn’t know where to start with this new information -- with an evening that took such a sharp turn from reminiscing and sad and somewhat painful into just… something so completely different and unexpected.

Dinner Kurt can do. He can put the craziness of ghosts aside because dinner is easy, dinner is simple; dinner is important.

His dad has already set everything out so Kurt takes his seat across from him, sending a not-completely-true nvm everything’s fine, sorry for worrying you text to Mercedes, who finally got back to him at some point when he was distracted…

Distracted talking to ghosts.

“How’s it going?” Burt asks as he sits down and it takes Kurt a second to remember he must be talking about cleaning the studio, and not actually about ghost musicians.

Ghosts don’t exist. There are no ghosts in the garage. Don’t think about ghosts.

“It’s good,” Kurt says, poking at his food a little. “I’m starting with the loft.”

Burt smiles. “Those old instruments need a home.”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, returning the smile. “Mom would like that.”

The instruments probably belong to some ghosts, Kurt realizes, but… nothing he can really do about that. And that’s if the ghosts can even touch objects.

They eat in comfortable silence for a while and then Burt sets down his fork. Kurt looks up apprehensively.

“So I got an email from the school today,” he starts. Kurt fiddles with his fork and drops his gaze.

“Hey, it’s okay, Kurt, I’m not mad,” Burt promises.

You should be, Kurt thinks -- all that money spent for him to audition for and attend the music program, and for private lessons and sheet music and piano maintenance, just for him to throw it all away.

“I know those classes can be hard,” his dad says, and Kurt almost can’t take his gentle tone, feels guilty about it even though he appreciates it. “But… you still like music, don’t you?”

Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe?”

“I know the memories are hard, believe me, Kurt. But, every time I see you, I see Mom, you know? And I love that, I really do. Maybe, if you give yourself a chance, you can, too.” Kurt looks up hesitantly to see his dad’s gentle, loving expression and eyes slightly glassy with tears. Looking down again, he swallows, and nods.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I will. I’ll try.”

Because what he said to Mercedes earlier on the staircase is true, but… he’ll always try harder for his dad.

“It’s okay, Kurt,” Burt assures him. “We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

Kurt smiles and almost starts eating again, but music suddenly blares from outside, startling both of them, Kurt barely holding back a loud swear.

“What is that?” Burt says, getting up but Kurt rushes to reassure him, saying quickly, “I must have just left the CD player on in the garage! It’s fine, I’ll go get it!”

He runs back to the studio where the ghosts are still there apparently, and have somehow gotten instruments from the loft and set everything up to start playing, and play really loudly -- and it honestly sounds good but Kurt can’t focus on that because they’re going to disturb the entire neighborhood and get the cops called on them for a noise complaint and what is he supposed to say -- no officer, it was just the three ghosts in the garage being idiots, sorry?

Kurt yells for them to stop but it’s useless; he can barely even hear himself over how incredibly loudly they’re playing. Blaine, on an electric guitar that Kurt remembers seeing in the loft, turns and sees Kurt, walking towards him and finally playing one last chord when Kurt makes a horizontal cutting motion with his hand, and Sam, on the bass, follows, Tina playing one last short drum roll, looking up with a wide grin.

They all look… alive, Kurt thinks, despite literally being dead, so different from the confusion he left them with -- relaxed and loose and faces lit up, the energy flowing through them almost visible. If he didn’t know they were ghosts and made of air, he’d expect to be able to reach out and feel them, breaths hot and fast from the exertion and adrenaline, skin warm and slightly sweaty, hearts beating strong like the steady percussion of their band.

It reminds him of how music used to make him feel.

“Cut it out!” Kurt snaps, trying not to raise his voice too much. “The whole neighborhood could hear you! I thought I told you to leave!”

Blaine looks back at his bandmates, bewildered. “People -- people can hear us play?”

“Yes!” Kurt says exasperatedly. “My dad heard you from inside!”

“… What did he think?” Blaine asks after a moment. Kurt opens his mouth for an irritated response --

“Everything okay in here?”

Kurt whips around to see his dad in the doorway and smiles with wide eyes. “Yeah! I just -- had to turn off the CD player,” he lies.

People have told Kurt before that he’s a good liar; he really hopes that’s true after the evening he’s had -- he's having.

Burt’s attention is elsewhere, though, seemingly forgetting about the chaos from just a moment earlier. “Wait, is this the junk that was in the loft?” he says, excitedly eyeing the instruments and… the ghosts that he can’t see.

“Junk?” Blaine exclaims. Tina stands up, her eyes on Burt, drumsticks gripped tightly in one hand.

They all watch apprehensively as Burt weaves through the instruments, even going so far as to rattle Tina’s cymbals and tap the drums, much to her horror. She fixes Kurt with wide, urgent eyes, to which Kurt just shrugs and gives her a helpless look. Hey Dad, actually, the ghost drummer wants you to stop, so…

“Hey, this stuff’s in pretty good shape,” Burt says excitedly. “Maybe we can make a couple bucks, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees weakly, mostly just watching as Tina fails to push Burt away from the drums.

“I like the song you had on,” Burt says, finally stepping away from the instruments. Tina rubs down a cymbal with her sleeve.

“Sweet! We’re Sunset Curve,” Blaine pipes up.

“Tell your friends!” Sam says, to a fond eye-roll from Tina.

“It’s just an old CD I found,” Kurt says, ripping his attention from the ghosts.

“Well, it’s nice that you’re listening to music again,” Burt says sincerely. “Out here, you can play whatever you want, whenever you want.” He waves his hands out on either side for emphasis, going through Sam and Blaine’s bodies. Kurt chuckles weakly.

“Oh,” Sam says, looking down at where Burt’s hand was in his stomach just a moment before. “That’s nice.”

“Stay out of this,” Kurt hisses.

“Sorry, Kurt, I’m just trying to help -- ”

“Oh! No, not you, Dad,” Kurt says quickly. For fuck’s sake -- “Just -- just give me a minute -- ” He starts pulling his dad toward the door. Burt stops him and says, “Hey, we’re gonna figure out this music program thing, okay?”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt says with a smile, and gestures for him to leave.

Once Burt is out of sight, he turns back to the ghosts.

“Wait -- ” Tina waves her drumsticks around a little. “So -- only you can see us, but everyone can hear us?” Kurt nods in confirmation. “What kind of ghosts are we?” Tina says.

“Who cares, dude!” Sam says, stepping up to Tina’s drum kit with a grin. “People can hear us play!” The three exchange fist-bumps as Blaine says happily, “We might be dead, but our music isn’t.”

“And Kurt’s dad likes our music!” Sam cheers.

“He’s a dad, it doesn’t count,” Tina mumbles, smiling and pushing Sam playfully when he turns to her with an offended look.

Confusion and annoyance bubble up inside Kurt along with something like anger at, just, all of it and he groans and says loudly, “Why can’t you guys just be normal ghosts? You know, go hang out at an old mansion or something! I hear Pasadena’s nice!” and turns to leave, slamming the door on his way out.

He just… has had too much going on today. He needs to -- ignore his homework and the problem with school and maybe just sleep in for the next two days. That would be really nice.

He’s so caught up in his head and he jumps and yells when a ghost appears in front of him with no warning.

“Don’t do that!” Kurt exclaims.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Blaine says quickly. “ -- You do know how rad this is though, right? People -- people can hear us play!”

“Yeah, good for you,” Kurt replies, a little too harshly. “It’s just that I’ve had a really, really, awful day. I’ve gotta go.”

He walks past Blaine just to turn around again when he says, “I’m really sorry you had a bad day.” Kurt nods; he can tell Blaine wants to say more, so he waits.

Blaine continues slowly, “I just… three ghosts just found out they had a bad twenty-five years, and then they find out that the one thing they lived for in the first place, they can still do. So you can kick us out, but -- we’re not giving up music. We can play again; that’s a gift no musician would ever turn down,” he says earnestly, eyes wide and almost pleading.

That hurts in Kurt’s chest a little more than it should and he looks down again to avoid the passion and excitement shining clearly in Blaine’s eyes, in his voice, in his words. He swallows down the feeling that statement unearths inside of him, but suddenly his bad day is at the forefront of his mind again -- his bad year.

That’s a gift no musician would ever turn down … some musician he is, then. But he already knew that.

Blaine says softly, “You’ve gotta know that. Clearly your mom is into music.”

Kurt swallows. “Was,” he says, monotone and quiet. “She passed away.”

He hates that it’s become easier to say; he wants to either spit the words out or break down sobbing but he manages to keep his voice steady. (In the back of his mind, he wonders why he just told that to a random ghost he just met. Maybe he’s just going crazy. He’s literally talking to ghosts, after all.)

Blaine’s face falls. “I -- I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

“Yeah, we -- we didn’t know,” Sam says quietly. He and Tina have also left the studio, standing on the other side of the low wall separating the garage area from the pathway back to the house. They look up with sympathetic eyes and Kurt looks away from them too -- can’t meet any of their wide, well-meaning gazes right now.

“It’s fine,” he dismisses. “Sorry I got mad.” The ghosts are thankfully looking at each other now, seemingly silent conversation passing between their glances. “You guys are pretty good,” Kurt says, trying to change the subject and lighten the atmosphere.

Blaine raises an eyebrow, turning his gaze back to Kurt. “‘Pretty good’? You know that’s just, like, 25 years of rust being dusted off, right?”

“Do you play, too?” Tina asks.

“No, no, I don’t play.” It’s not exactly a lie anymore but it scrapes in Kurt’s throat with his haste to answer. “That’s all my mom’s stuff in there.”

“She’s an amazing songwriter,” Blaine says.

“Yeah, she was,” Kurt answers. “Wait… how do you know?”

Blaine opens his mouth, glancing at the others for a second. “We found a song on the piano,” he says. “If it’s hers… your mom was really talented.”

Kurt nods. She really, really was.

He feels like he doesn’t have the energy to say it again, so he just stays quiet. Somewhat awkwardly, he turns to leave, sensing the end of the conversation and part of him desperately wanting to just leave and not have to see these ghosts again….

So Kurt surprises even himself when he pauses and turns back to face them. “I guess,” he starts, and their gazes snap back up to him. “If you need a place to stay… you can stay in there.” He nods toward the studio and the ghosts’ faces light up. Kurt can’t help but smile back. “There’s a couch that turns into a bed, and in the back there’s a bathroom with a shower, if you still need any of that stuff.”

“Awesome!” Sam exclaims quietly, earning an elbow in the side and a questioning look from Tina. “What? Dude, I just really like showers,” he defends.

Tina rolls her eyes. Kurt takes a breath, raising his hands to gesture vaguely at the three of them. “This is just… too weird.” He nods to himself, finally leaving this time, leaving the ghosts to… do what they will.

The fact that there are ghosts in his mom’s studio…. Maybe there’s a chance that Mom knows them -- sent them, he thinks… but decides to not get his hopes up. She’s gone and he needs to just keep it at that.

What he really wants is to tell Mercedes, but he doesn’t know how.

What would you say if I told you there were three ghosts living in my mom’s studio? Kurt thinks on his way back to his room.

You’d say I’m crazy.

--

It’s some point in the night; they figured out that they don’t need to sleep -- can’t sleep, it seems like, which is honestly really annoying in Tina’s opinion because they’re ghosts with literally nothing to do for too many hours at a time -- so they’re just hanging out in the studio, with the lights outside giving them a little visibility through the garage windows, but it’s kind of nice to just sit in the dark.

Tina has been on the couch with Sam, lying on their backs, heads in opposite directions, legs pressed up against each other. Sam’s bass is unplugged, laid on his stomach and extending over Tina’s legs. He plucks out notes and Tina accompanies with a soft beat using just her hands and body parts as instruments. Sometimes it’s a familiar bassline -- a Sunset Curve song rehearsed or performed or recorded before -- and they also hum the harmonies that they know, and sometimes they improvise -- Tina storing the good bits in her mind for a future writing session.

Blaine is in the loft where they hoped a light could be on and maybe go unnoticed. Tina assumes that he’s writing; he always was when they were alive. And of course, now he has 25 years of dark room and relative nothingness to catch up on writing about.

It feels like another quiet night from when they were alive, each of them with an excuse to escape their homes for the night, and they’d all crash here, filling the studio with soft music and noise. Blaine would stay up writing and sometimes singing while Sam and Tina (and Artie) would try to sleep, telling him to stop humming, or, since the main house inhabitants who would care about the noise were rarely there, they would sometimes join along with him and make it a Sunset Curve midnight rehearsal.

They’ve never had the best sleep schedules anyway.

Tina giggles quietly as she and Sam play into nothingness, both parts running uncontrolled and unable to get back on track. They both stop and Sam starts playing a familiar line -- parts they’d worked out before with bass, drums, and both guitars, but never actually put into a song. Tina waits for a moment to come in with her part.

She’s nearly startled off the couch when Blaine poofs down beside the couch with his guitar and starts his part. Tina starts laughing -- probably too loud but they’re pretty sure only their music can be heard anyway -- and slides off the couch to sit on the ground, picking the drumming back up on her legs.

“You guys wanna check out this teleportation thing?” Blaine asks, playing the challenging guitar riff meant for electric guitar messily on his acoustic without a pick.

Sam sits up and puts his bass to the side. “Absolutely,” he says. “Where’re we going?”

“I have an idea,” Blaine says, setting his guitar down. He pulls Tina up and extends a hand out for Sam. “I think I can take you guys with me.”

“What?” Tina squeaks, but a second later, she’s sitting far above the ground, outside, on top of the marquee of the Orpheum. “Oh my god,” she mutters, looking down dizzily at the people passing by on the sidewalk. Her body tingles with a weird uncomfortable energy for just a few seconds before it fades.

“Yes!” Blaine laughs, kicking his legs up excitedly. “I mean, I know being a ghost isn’t our first choice, but it sure is easy getting around!”

“Easy for you, maybe!” Sam cries on Blaine’s other side. “I lost my shirt on that one!”

Tina looks over and sure enough, Sam is shirtless. She stifles a laugh behind her hand. “Like that’s a concern,” she pipes up, but Sam’s shirt appears right as she says it. They all laugh and sit in silence for a moment.

“So why’d you bring us here?” Tina asks, looking out across Hollywood Boulevard, the new and old buildings and shops, the people and cars of the future. The light of the Orpheum’s neon sign shines in her periphery, same as it did on a night twenty-five years ago. “Just another reminder of where we never got to play,” she says wryly, turning to face Blaine on her left, patting his shoulder. “Thanks, Blaine.”

Blaine rolls his eyes. “I’m telling you guys, it’s not over yet!” Tina reappears on the sidewalk right below them, almost losing her balance and falling through a person walking past. She shoots a glare at Blaine for teleporting them with no warning again, but he just grins back and starts down the sidewalk, Sam following. “Let’s see how many places we can play tonight, yeah? Check out the music scene of the future? And no trouble getting into those clubs anymore!”

Tina laughs, falling into step with them. She watches Sam walk straight through someone going in the opposite direction and doesn’t realize someone is in her way, which shouldn't be a problem, until she bumps into them.

She feels them.

“Hey!” she says involuntarily, turning to see who it was -- another ghost? A tall man with a cape and top hat nods at her with an acknowledging and almost menacing gleam in his eye, then turns again and walks away.

He could see her, he could touch her -- he has to be another ghost, right?

“Tina, you coming?” Sam calls. She swallows and takes one last look, the other ghost having disappeared among the other people on the sidewalk, before turning and running to catch back up with the guys.

“I just ran into someone,” she says, a little breathless -- she doesn’t know if that’s from running, which she doesn’t think she can actually get breathless from, or the fact that she ran into someone.

“Another ghost?” Blaine says.

“I mean, it has to be, right? Uh, Kurt -- Kurt can see us but he can’t touch us…”

“And his dad couldn’t either,” Sam adds.

“It must have been another ghost. He looked like a… performer, or something.” Tina wrinkles their nose a little as she remembers his whole get-up, completely out of place among what she’s seen so far of 21st century street fashion. (But then again, so is she, and her friends.)

“… I guess we’re not alone, then,” Blaine says, breaking a short bewildered silence.

“We’re never alone!” Sam exclaims, walking between them to throw his arms around Blaine and Tina’s shoulders. Tina laughs and grabs his forearm, mystery ghost forgotten for the time being.

Blaine responds with a grin, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

--

Kurt wakes up earlier than usual the next morning. He thinks he still has school -- he doesn’t know how being removed from the music program works, but no one told him not to come and besides, he does have non-music classes to keep up with, even if he doesn’t necessarily want to. He gets ready as usual, leaving breakfast out for his dad, and there’s still half an hour before Mercedes should be getting here.

Perfect. There’s something he needs to try by himself… for himself.

He heads out to the studio with his things, a fluttering feeling in his stomach, but it’s different from the feeling before he tried to play in class yesterday, like the butterflies had turned to stone and were rolling around inside him, weighing him down and making him nauseous. This time it’s promising, hopeful, familiar -- butterflies fluttering normally, peacefully.

The room is empty when Kurt pushes the doors open and drops his backpack by the entrance.

“Guys?” he calls hesitantly, to no response.

He wonders if he should be worried about where the ghosts might be, or relieved for if they really did leave after all, since that is what he wanted… but he realizes relief is not at all what he feels at that possibility.

But if the ghosts aren’t here, then all the better for what he wants to do, so he decides to ignore their absence for now.

Kurt walks up to the grand piano in the middle of the room, thinking. There’s something… something deep loosening in his chest -- something about Blaine and the others and their intense passion for music that is so different from the intense judgment and competition at school that made it so impossible for him to play yesterday.

The way Blaine had talked about music…

The one thing they lived for in the first place -- they can still do.

A gift.

Kurt spreads out the sheet music that he found yesterday, just placed on the piano lid without a glance and it’s still there, so Blaine and the others must have just taken a look at it. He recognizes his mother’s handwriting, achingly familiar and beautiful in a minimalistic way, the neat notes and lyrics, clean and legible even without the help of staff lines. His heart stutters and he gasps a little as he reads some of it -- he recognizes the song. Something his mom told him she was writing when she got sick.

Kurt used to be so involved in her songwriting, but as she got worse and Kurt grew away from the piano (and from his voice), he never asked about this song.

She’d finished it.

Here’s the one thing I want you to know, you got someplace to go…

And he needs to hear it.

His fingers tremble slightly as he places them gingerly on the keys over the starting notes of the song. It feels completely different than it did yesterday; he doesn’t know if it’s the lack of teacher and students watching, the insanity of yesterday evening in between, the song itself… but the stones turned back into butterflies and it almost feels like it did before….

He wants to play, to make music. For the first time in a year, he actually feels like he can. And he needs to.

And if -- when -- it unlocks the memories… he thinks he’s ready.

Kurt takes a deep breath and plays.

[bucksboobs]

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Description: a quick Reed900 fic based loosely on a story from my parents wedding. A Continuation on the fanfilm Detroit: Evolution

Read on AO3

Gavin Reed is a softie under exactly two conditions: with Nines, when they're alone. He gave him the nickname Nines when they were alone together. He told him that he'd been calling him Nines internally for weeks before that when they were alone on Valentine's. It's not really him to do that PDA shit but the private displays of affection? He's getting used to those. Blame it on those stupid hands of Nine's that start glowing when he's being mushy. Nine's skin turns back to plastic whenever he so much as thinks about holding Gavin's hand and the poor hunk of metal is so sweet and sincere that Gavin just grabs him whenever he starts seeing that glow. It's stupid and it's sappy but it's starting to just become another natural part of his insane fucking life with the tin can.

Tina says he stares at Nines like he can't compute how Nines cares so much about him. He can feel that this morning, having walked into the break room first thing only to find Nines already there, brewing him his morning coffee. He wants to kiss him then and there. There's no one else in the break room and even if he risks ridicule if they get caught something in him says fuck it.

"Morning plastic." He greets, wrapping his arms around Nines's black jacket from behind. "Love ya but you don't have to make me coffee every fucking morning." He kisses Nines's neck expecting maybe a no Gavin I much prefer you be sated with your daily caffeine intake or Gavin I don't do this out of a sense of obligation but rather because I want to. Instead he gets:

"Detective Reed" That's not his Cyber-life-partner's voice. It's too formal, too cheery, too high, too much like... oh no "I am Connor."

Time to panic. "Uh. OK... Connor we're just gonna." He throws his hands up and off of Connor and begins to back away towards the archway. "Never, ever mention this alright. Nev-oof" he hits something too soft to be a pillar and too hard to be person and if Connor is in front of him. Fuck.

"Ah," despite the circumstances his shoulders do briefly untense just hearing Nines's soothing flat tone. "Good morning Gavin, I was about to make you your morning coffee." He walks around Gavin. "Connor. Good to see you and Lieutenant Anderson made it safely back from New York."

"We made it in late last night. I believed Hank may be in need of caffeine to deal with jet lag."

"Sensible." Listening to them talk is insane. They both were designed with the same word bank and vocal emulator or whatever but Connor is all subtle positivity and pleasantry while Nines talks soft and stern with a smidge of sarcasm that he picked up from Gavin.

"May I ask a personal question, MK900?" Fullnamed... this ought to be good.

"Of course."

"Do you see me as a brother?"

"We are made to be identical but there are other Connors out there." Other Connors? More of those customer-service-voice Ken dolls? God help the police departments saddled with them. "I suppose I see you as closer to myself than them on account of our shared workplace."

"Then, brother, may I ask when you were going to tell me about the evolution of your relationship to Detective Reed?" This plastic prick.

Nines looks genuinely shocked by that. "I was going to tell you today, actually. How did you find out?"

"Just now, when Gavin kissed me on the neck"

"You Kevlar-plated asshole." Gavin suddenly blurts out after staying silent for what was probably a weird amount of time. What part of NEVER mention it didn't he get. "I SAID-"

"Detective I assumed you were being sarcastic. My apologies."

"Brown nosing asswipe! First of all this is none of y-

"GAVIN." Nines stares him down a moment and Gavin feels a level of remorse. "It's quite alright. Like I said I was planning to tell Connor today anyway."

"Right. Sorry."

"I should go. Hank's coffee is getting cold." That's a lie to get out of an awkward situation if he ever heard one but they part themselves to let Connor through anyway. When did they end up standing closer together again? They seemed to have forgotten the concept of personal space a while ago and just drifted into each other's orbit naturally and unconsciously.

"Gavin..." Nines trails off, focusing on pouring and preparing his partners coffee

"Look Nines. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to-"

"If you don't want anyone else to know we're together I can accommodate that but I need to know." Nines looks like some one killed a puppy in front of him and it's making Gavin feel more and more like a trash boyfriend. "You can't just... throw a tantrum at a coworker like that." Always so sincere. It scares him how vulnerable they both can be around one another. But feelings shit is something he's working on with Nines and he wants to make that effort.

"No Nines, man, it has nothing to with us" he gestures between them "I was just embarrassed that I basically just sexually harrassed your twin brother. Tell whoever you want. Tell the News.. Tell Fowler. I want people to know you're making me happy." Nines hands him his finished coffee. He ought to start bringing therium sippy cups or something to return this ritual of a favor. Problem for another day tho. He flicks his wrist and begins to walk into the hall.

"I appreciate that Gavin." Nines says, following in lock step with an identical gait to his own, a neat trick that Gavin noticed a while back. He wonders if it's programmed or a deliberate choice Nines has made.

"Hey," Gavin catches Nines's hand and it starts to glow (Nines is such a sap) "I mean it Robocop. You make me better. And happier. Think you're the only person on the fucking planet who can manage to do both."

"Is that so?" A sudden smarmy grin lights up Nines's face "Because apparently any old MK model will do."

"Oh, stop." I am never gonna live this down, he thinks.

"Perhaps I should introduce you to Markus." That smirk drives Gavin nuts in a way that makes his heart beat out of his chest.

"I fuckin hate you."

"You love me." Nines says it not as a jest but as a statement of fact. It simply is. Gavin loves him more than he loves himself most days -not that that's a high bar to clear- Still it touches him that Nines knows he loves him and he wants to make sure he never forgets.

"Yeah. Yeah I do, Nines." And he kisses him. In the middle of the station. Cuz fuck it.

[chromatophorica]

sigh.

man. i hope u folx never need to deal with actual honest to god racism in ur lives, cause i think it might actually kill u on the spot.

genuinely tho. last thing i’m saying about this whole saga and then i’m saving us all by deleting anything u come to my ask box with cause omg i feel like i might actually be all that keeps u productive by stopping engaging with u. or i could hire a robot to fight with u i guess. i bet it’d be the same response.

anyway; i’ve stated a few times that my issue with the ppd line isn’t solely chim (scroll dooooown) but y’all are circling it around to ‘he’s asian and they’re saying bad things so they are a racist’ (genuinely, hope u don’t meet a racist, it’s disgusting and it’s certainly not gentle ‘this person did this wrong’ when it’s racism) but i still tagged it ‘anit-chim’ so that people who didn’t want to read something where chim is held to his canon actions (remember, this is 5.02, aggression is never mentioned, if anything, chimney is passive af in this cause he’s talking not swinging) and a psa was made about ‘not including my work’, which i accepted because freedom of speech (which apparently is also racist if i’ve read that right?) which means the person can exclude whatever they want from this public event meant to focus on the siblings and not on their significant others but i digress (i might be being racist again because i’m not including a coc and a potential shipper coc or just a woman i apparently self insert? still confused on that matter).

i was then told that only doug kendall can possibly be the bad person and how dare white savior be used (despite this literally being about two siblings who are white and one of the prompts is literally how the save each other but who am i to ask for some kind of consistency in this matter!) and that i really shouldn’t use chimney and his canon actions (again, 5.02, not like what... 5.05 was it? fuck idk they’ve blended together cause man was 5a a cluster bomb of wtf).

so i’m not being included in a public event because my work is (apparently) racist (possibly even those things i wrote before i wrote that one they didn’t like which they had no problem reblogging, maybe i hid my racism while writing about that cute little baby or that time the guy i apparently was literally the non-white savior? idk confusion. not consistent at all) and they don’t want to ‘promote’ it? idk i don’t come here to promote much, this is the most i’ve ever used my blog, i honestly forget i have it a lot. tumblr is kinda rabid y’know.

now i will say, whatev. don’t reblog, block me, ignore me, it’s all whatever at the end of the day. however when you remove someone’s comments to you and only allow people to see what you are saying, it creates a kind of vibe. you know. like a conservative-right republican vibe where if you hide what the other side is saying... they’re not saying it?

in closing (and damn idk if i even said everything i came to say, cause this disaster fire is still confusing) call me racist all you want; i know i’m not, i know the people who know me know i’m not (although thanks for reading my fic and totally agreeing with your friend who you’re 100% not biased for or anything, that single hit meant the world to me) and most of the people who read my fic and see the manner in which the character is portrayed (cough-canonly-cough) (again, still 5.02 so it has nothing to do with that other canon thing that i’m not even touching at this point)(might do it tomorrow, i haven’t yet decided, my spite it being drained by the soft gentle love of a kitty) my spite is not so that anyone will read my work. or that you’ll need to see it in your blogs.

my spite thrives in knowing, i can write my silly little fic, i can be a total spoon and make it *the worst* characterisation in the history of tumblr or ao3 (and i think i’d deserve an award for that), and i can come along in here, and post it and tag it *correctly* so that no one is surprised when they enter it, so that no one is like ‘omg i didn’t see this coming this author is so rude not tagging their shit’ and it’s gonna sit there. in your event. with the tag you hate so vehemently that you started a very stupid little squabble about it.

and i just got my daily writing goal. neat.

[shipskicksandgiggles]

85, Parkner

dude, I love you, but your past two prompts have made me put the boys through some shit. I love you tho

side note: someone needs to give me a word count this is getting insane. at some point I started picking up on Harley’s mannuerisms too, so it’s been a fucking day

prompt: “Don’t lie to me.” (from this list)

Read (Don’t) Talk to Me here on AO3

~

Peter was avoiding him. There was no other way to put it. Every time Harley walked into a room, he walked out, and if he couldn’t, he wouldn’t look at him or even acknowledge he was there. It was infuriating.

“Is he okay?” Tony was asking him. He’d walked out again, this time while the other Avengers were in the room.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“He’s avoiding me like the plague, it’s not like I’ve had the opportunity to make sure he’s okay.”

“Need one of us to talk to him?” Natasha asked. 

“1. Your version of talking typically involves someone getting their neck broken, and 2. asking one of you to talk to him for me sounds so middle school. I think I’ll pass.”

“And you have no idea what this is about?”

“Nope.” Harley was starting to get really annoyed with his team butting into his private life. “If he doesn’t want to talk to me, he doesn’t have to talk to me.”

“As long as you don’t jeopardize any missions, it’s your business” Steve told him. “Just make sure it doesn’t interfere with your jobs, otherwise we will have to have a conversation.”

“Yes sir.” 

He walked out, fully intending to go down to his workshop and work on his suit. There had been damage from the last mission after a boulder fell on him, and he had yet to finish up hammering out the dents. And while he was thinking about the suit, he needed to recode his interface and his repulsors could use an upgrade.

He and Peter shared a lab space. According to JARVIS he wasn’t there, so he could work in peace. Thank god. 

~~~

A few hours later, all the dents were gone. The suit needed a paint job too, he realized. Not until after he finished the repulsors though. It could wait. He was close to finished with this anyways.

Before resetting them into the suit, he slipped the gauntlets over his wrists. There was a target on the other end of the room. The sight from his desk was clear, and unless something went very wrong he doubted he would hit anything anyways. 

“Hey.”

Harley acted before he had a chance to think. He was up and out of his seat, keeping one gauntlet at his throat as he slammed him against the desk and aimed a repulsor at his head. 

“Woah! Dude, what the fuck?” Peter, to his credit, looked absolutely fucking terrified. 

“Shit!” He released Peter and yanked off his gauntlets as fast as he could. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

Harley rubbed at his chest. “I was just about to shoot you with a repulsor beam at point blank range, and you’re asking if I’m okay?” He caught his breath. “Don’t fucking scare me like that.”

“Sorry.” At least he sounded genuine. 

He turned back to his work bench and started reassembling the suit. “Did you need something?”

“I need an excuse to talk to you?”

“Well given the fact you haven’t spoken to me in days, I figured you oughta be here for a reason.”

Peter made an offended noise, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He wasn’t going to get anything else done today, so he might as well put away the armor and set JARVIS up to get the paint job done. 

“Are you mad that I haven’t been talking to you?”

“I don’t give a shit about what you do, Parker. Just fucking warn me if you’re in the room while I’m working.”

“So you are mad at me.”

“I just told you that I don’t give a shit. Why the fuck are you following me?”

He just wanted to go upstairs and take a nap. God, he was tired and all he wanted was to be alone, but Peter was walking with him to the elevator.

“I want to spend time with you. Is that a crime?”

“What are you doing, Peter?” It was barely a question. He didn’t deserve days of nothing only to be tailed by him. 

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “C’mon. You have grease on your shirt. JARVIS, apartment level please.”

The elevator dinged open and Harley debated whether or not to step in. 

Peter shoved him. “Don’t be a brat.”

“That’s fucking rich coming from you.”

He rolled his eyes, but didn’t contest the point. They made it up to their floor, and Harley walked to his door, expecting Peter to walk down the hall to his own apartment. 

When he didn’t, Harley sighed and unlocked his door anyways. “You don’t live here,” he commented. “You did your job. You got me upstairs and I’m not planning to go back down until tomorrow.”

Peter turned on him. “What the fuck is your problem, man?”

“You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

“Why are you so pissed at me right now?”

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He knew he was yelling, he just didn’t care anymore. He was so sick and tired of feeling ignored by his best friend, and he wasn’t willing to let go without an explanation. “Was it something I said? Something I did? There had better be a reason you’ve walked out of every room I’ve been in for the past week.” He moved to the other side of the room, intent on getting away from him. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“It wasn’t intentional-”

“Don’t lie to me!”

Peter sighed. “You want the truth? Fine. I couldn’t look at your fucking face because I kept replaying the moment you almost died. You got trapped under that boulder and I heard you screaming, and I couldn’t do anything. I don’t know what Mr. Stark told you about me, but the moment I realized I was a hero was the time he took away my suit and a building fell on me. I was stuck there for what felt like hours, screaming my lungs out, just waiting for someone to save me. I almost died because of my own ignorance, and to see you in those same circumstances? To see you trapped under solid rock, screaming my name, Tony’s, Rhodey’s, Steve’s, anyone’s name? That was so much worse.”

“But I made it out!”

“What if you hadn’t? How could I have lived with that?”

“You have a real fucked up way of showing your emotions, you know that?”

“Says the guy who almost fucking shot me!”

“That’s different, and you know it.”

“Yeah? How.”

He didn’t have to deal with this. “I think you should leave.”

“No.”

“Get out.”

Peter tried to walk up to him and place his hand on his back. “Harley-”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Listen-”

“I don’t have to do shit. Just leave. You’ve been practicing so much, why waste your skills? Here, can you not find the door? Let me show you out.” He started to open the door for him before Peter slammed it and trapped him there. 

“Can you stop?”

“Why, because I’m irritated that you ignore me, and then when I say I want to be alone you do everything to get closer? What’s next? You gonna shove your tongue down my throat?”

“Only if you want me too, but god would that make it easier to get you to stop talking.”

“You- What?”

Peter still wasn’t letting him go. “I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you. I should have been honest from the beginning. That wasn’t fair, and I definitely want to make it up to you, but please don’t get pissy with me when I try to do that.”

“Work on your communication skills and maybe I won’t be mad next time.”

“Maybe you should work on not dying so that we don’t have a next time.” 

“In our line of work? Please.”

“Could you at least try? For me?”

“Fine, I promise I will try to not die in a world where we fight gods and aliens and monsters all the time.”

“Bastard.”

“I promised didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but don’t be a bitch about it.”

“You’re the worst.”

“How do you figure?”

Harley looked down at him. “You pinned me to the back of my own apartment door, you threatened to kiss me quiet, and I keep telling you to leave and somehow you’re still here.”

“I didn’t threaten you, I offered. I’d only kiss you if you wanted me too.”

He snorted. “It probably wouldn’t even work to shut me up.”

“Is that a bet?”

“What are we betting on?”

Peter considered the question. “If I’m right and you do stop talking, you can buy me dinner. I will buy you dinner if I’m wrong.”

“All over you not being able to communicate like a normal person? Wow, you must really be- mmmph.”

Peter pulled him down into a chaste kiss. He tasted sweet, Harley noticed. 

“If you really think that’s going to work, you’ve already lost.”

~~~

The next kiss was more intense. Harley preferred it to breathing. 

Peter still had to buy him dinner.

[the--highlanders]

tagged by @penny-anna, thank you!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

142!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

473,453... hopefully I’m on track to hit 500,000 by the end of the year! like obvs it’s not really about the word count & when I’m writing I’m not thinking that I have to make things longer (tho I think my fics have been getting naturally longer lately? I think I’m spending more time on descriptions and scene-setting. which I like but which def hasn’t been a conscious choice) BUT I am using word count goals to stave off the temptation to count kudos and notes & then get anxious about that. sir that is my emotional support ao3 word count.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

the only fandom I’ve properly posted stuff for is dr who... if you go back far enough in my main blog there might be like, 2 sh*rlock fics on my main blog. wouldn’t recommend it tho I was still in high school when I wrote them GFDJHS

I did write for both sh*rlock and torchwood tho. also warrior cats when I was quite a bit younger. & teeechnically my first fanfic was for the saddle club. but I was like, 3. so I didn’t know what a fanfic was. I was just writing a ‘book’ about the horses.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(excluding timetracks because it’s not a fic to me, it’s a collection, I only put it in one ‘fic’ so I wouldn’t have to come up with individual titles for everything in it gjdhfks)

- stones

- tenth time lucky

- coincidences

- lucky guess

- amber

which is. an interesting selection gdfjkg

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! I don’t get that many so it’s doable. I do need to get better at answering them quickly though jkdf I am very small and a little bit shy and people are very nice

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oo idk maybe longing for a time that never came? (no idea why I called it that ghdfk. it’s kind of pretentious for something that never had any rhyme or reason to it). because like. are they going to survive? idk!!!

(would also like to plug this art @ettelwenailinon made for that fic because I love it and also can’t believe it’s four years old??? hello????)

more recently I think it’s the kirkyard (which is a title I actually like!! I really like this fic actually) because two can’t do any more than get jamie out of the church but jamie doesn’t KNOW and he doesn’t understand why two doesn’t even stop to talk to him & it’s painful imo

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really! I’ve nothing against them, I just don’t tend to write them.

I wouldn’t really class my daemon au as a crossover because like. it’s not really set in the hdm universe, just uses the concept of daemons.

on the other hand I feel like the only crossover I have /is/ pretty niche and a bit wild. lifeboat is a crossover with ark: survival evolved which is very dear to my heart & in my head sits quite nicely with the dr who universe. that fic was SO self-indulgent to write but I loved it. plus the idea of victoria’s dad having THREE scientist friends who went mad in pursuit of godhood is so incredibly funny to me that I forget it isn’t canon

(also the character being referenced in that fic is now voiced by david tennant in-game/will be in the animated series so. gift of prophecy. dfjkhsglfk)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope! like I said everyone has been very nice. the only hate has been from myself gdfhlk

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

don’t read it & don’t write it. just not my thing!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as I know o:

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean it’s two/jamie. I’ve been here for like 6 years. still digging my hole.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

talked about it in more detail in this ask but in terms of two-era stuff I’ve only got one that’s definitely never being finished and another that’s not got a great chance of being finished. & stuff I’ve written for other fandoms is just. look it’s gone gdjksdfdg. I don’t care about my dead sh*rlock wips it isn’t 2014 anymore

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly have no idea??? like I’m not being modest or anything, I genuinely don’t know. I think I can write some funny dialogue sometimes.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’d really like to be better at plotting out longer fics tbh. having coherent plots and carrying through themes and details. people who can introduce an apparently inconsequential detail early in a fic and have it become relevant later in a way that makes you gasp are like, gods to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m too nervous about getting stuff wrong so I wouldn’t do it unless I felt like I had enough of a grasp of the language to know what I was doing. but I am at a stage where I feel confident having some simple gàidhlig in my fics!! which is nice. I’d really like to be able to write more, and also to be able to write jamie’s dialogue with like. a sense of english as his second language/gàidhlig as his first? like in the occasional turn of phrase or way of putting something. outside of fic I’m super interested in what someone from that period who had gàidhlig as their first language and english as their second language would have sounded like and how they would have spoken.

my absolute dream would be to be able to translate all my fics completely into gàidhlig, but I’m probably years off from that, if I’ll ever be able to do it. I would really love to be able to write fiction in it, that would be a mark of proficiency in the language for me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

kind of answered above!

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

oougkj idk!! I have so many now and honestly I forget about a lot of them.

the selkie au always has a special place in my heart, and I do love doing more historical-based ones, so I’ll say the kirkyard because I was already talking about it. if I can be a know-it-all while writing something I’m usually happy gjhklkh.

tagging @galacticlamps and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[colour-outside-the-liness]

First of all!! Loved the MoU fic update! left you a comment on AO3 and all. 10/10 ratings haha.

Secondly, moving countries is great you should try if you ever get a chance. I've always wanted to do that and jumped in on the first opportunity I got to make that dream come true, and I recgozine how lucky I am to be able to do so. It's definitely not easy but I'd do it again if I could (in true sag fashion 😎 haha). Where would you want to live? You ever been outside the UK?

Hahaha you and I in a team would be a nightmare to play against I think. Oh come on you absolutely do not deserve people questioning your intelligence! I like to play dumb in addition to the taunting so people underestimate me, they never see it coming when I win. They never see the cheating coming either, my friends are always shocked when they find out, but I do it almost every single time! 😂 I'm competitive too but I like to play it cool especially If I lose I'll be like "it's just a game calm down yall" but if I win I'm like "in your face losers!" (very mature I know).

I love your drunken story, though does sound like it was very dangerous so I'm glad nothing bad happened to you two! Ah I love yalls nordern accent (me and everyone in this fandom 😂) haha your friend's sense of humor is golden.👌 I'm glad you enjoyed my worst drunken experience, that was the last time I did something like that, I felt bad bc my best friend had to take care of me the whole night and you're right she should've told me it was just a rock! Lucky you you didn't get a hangover the day after, I certainly regretted drinking too much that night however fun it might have been haha.

Like I said before your niece is a really cool kid haha I'm glad you have someone to talk to about Bly Manor, don't know anyone who watches the show and my friends don't like scary stuff so I have to talk to myself about it 😂 and now you! Thank you for entertaining me ;) and I only watch the parts I really like now, I'm tired of crying every time I watch the whole show haha.

Do you do random accents really badly like Dani too? 😂 it is kinda funny your mom said it like that yeah hahaha maybe she just meant the good bits? And I mean, do you think you need help? Lol

I have a sneak peek of that damie fanart here, don't think I'll ever finish it tho. I want to do a medieval AU inspired fanart. Maybe it will also inspire someone to pick up the idea and write it haha.

How's your weekend been so far? My neighbor is making me watch Grey's Anatomy season (???) 500 idk but I wish I was reading that pirate AU instead 😂

Awwh thank you so much!! I will get around to replying to the comment on AO3 tomorrow when I reply to the others I've had a very busy day today though so haven't even had chance to read any comments yet but thank you so much for giving it a 10/10!! I wanna do it as soon as I get chance but I know it's gonna be hard and that I am gonna need a bit more money behind me first but I definitely wanna do it when I can... yeah I've been out of the UK twice- one time I went to France for the weekend when I was doing my A Levels and was like 17 the college I was studying at took some of the art kids and since I was doing a photography A Level I got to go and then a couple of years ago I went to LA for a few weeks which was great but I've never been out of the UK for longer than that!! A nightmare for everyone else but it would be hilarious for us I just know it would haha... I sometimes do I have said some dumb things, I actually used one of my dumber moments as a funny little story in one of my fics- people still laugh at me now for what I said and it's been 10 years... my roommate will not let me live it down!! See surprising people that way is always brilliant like when people just expect you to lose and then you win? That's the best kind of win in my eyes!! I don't cheat at games I am just ridiculously competitive and can't stand losing unless it's something like a video game I am okay with losing those but board games I can't stand losing and I am also a terrible winner my roommate won't play games with me anymore!! I can't say anything about anyone being that kind of a winner because I know I am and one of my sister's is terrible too we literally make a song and dance over winning Oh it was so dangerous and we were so dumb to do it like anything could've happened and we both sit and look back at that and go "man we were dumb" but I also sit and go "oh my god she's gonna be a mum in like 4 months" because we've done some crazy / stupid stuff!! My roommate is without a doubt one of the funniest people I have ever met and she's not afraid to tell it how it is... I'll admit because I have a Northern accent Jamie is like the only character on Bly Manor to not have an accent to me so when I hear people talking about her accent I'm always a little like "what?" Because to me that's just how people talk around here haha I did enjoy your drunken story and honestly we've all been there I have had to be taken care of on more than one occasion for being too drunk like to the point of people having to help me into my pyjamas and everything I've been in some bad ways haha!! She should've definitely told you it was just a rock and not a turtle!! Yeah I've only had one hangover and that was after a night of drinking where I blacked out and don't remember any of the night!! Yeah the night of the drinking is always fun- the hangover isn't though and often makes you wonder if it was worth it haha She's so cool like genuinely just a cool and funny kid and she just asks all the questions about shows she's watched so with me its Bly Manor with her mum and dad it's Stranger Things she asked me about it once but I had to tell her I'd never watched it she didn't seem impressed but yeah I'll talk to her about Bly Manor any day of the week- and you too now honestly I will talk about it to anyone that will listen... I can't not watch it all if I watch it because there's just so much about it that I love even if it makes me cry... episodes 4,6, and 8 are my favourites though and are probably the ones I have watched the most!! Yeah I do random accents all the time and they're always terrible but I always find myself really funny- I had this friend at Uni that had a slight southern English accent because he had spent most of his childhood there before moving up north and he still said certain words in a southern accent and I used to do his accent all the time but it was always terrible!! Oh yeah my mum is pretty blunt with stuff like she'll say things sometimes without thinking about how it sounds that or she just doesn't care like she's said

somethings haha I am sure she did mean the Dani thing in a nice way though because she said she liked her- Dani and Owen were her favourites and I mean some help for me wouldn't be a terrible thing I'll admit haha That fan art is incredible!! Like seriously amazing!! I would love to see some medieval fan art for Damie!! I have been sent a few medieval prompts for Damie and I have started writing some of them but it's taking time to actually get full chapters together but once I have and once I have more time from wrapping up other WIPs I'll make a start on editing and uploading those because medieval stuff is always great!! It's been good thank so far today I went to a little beach town with my mum, 2 of my sisters their partners and two of my nieces (my cool niece was one of them… not that my other niece isn’t cool but you know what I mean) and me, my two brother in laws, and my nieces all played a game of crazy golf while my mum and sisters went to a cafe and had cups of tea... they didn't wanna play with us but we still had fun while we played (I came second which I was very happy with)!! I hope you enjoy Grey's Anatomy and that you get chance to read the pirate AU soon!! It's soo good!! ☺️