#girl if u are just gonna ignore literally all the writing of the book in favor of quips and arrhythmic beat poetry... just make a different

[nqify]

I saw ur submissive reader and OMG GIRL IMAGINE THE OPPOSITE, like human!reader being bratty n' teasing all day like using mini skirts (in public), letting other guys flirt with you, being all bubbly and shi infront of other guys, and the whole situation turns into navi!miles brat taming you (imagine him with a spanking kink too)

AND ALSO HIM SAYING STUFF LIKE "whats with sniffling cupcake, didnt you ask for this?" While the reader is literally being fucked dumb

Also have a great day!!

YESYEYSYES!!!! BEEN NEEDING TO WRITE THIS!!

so many ppl have actually requested brat taming!miles or brat!reader so Ima combined all those requests into this one if y’all alright with that!!

brat taming. — miles quaritch ☆

pairings. brat tamer.na’vi!miles quaritch. brat.fem!reader

content warnings. spanking. little bit of sir kink. daddy kink ofc.

note. this kinda like sadist!quaritch but WITH MORE DETAIL AAAAAAA

as much as miles would love his s/o to be submissive and listen to every word he says, he also likes being challenged. the way you talk back to him or even ignore his requests rlly gets this man GOING!!!

It’s the simple things! he’d ask you, “sweets, grab that book for me yeah?” you just look at him dead in the face and say, “get it yourself, you have legs don’t you?” nah why is he getting turned on.

you’d test the waters a bit, constantly being a brat around miles to see if he breaks!! you’d try your hardest, letting lyle touch you, laughing at his jokes a little to hard and constantly compliment him.

you could see miles at the corner of your eye, hes looking at you, a lustful angry look is spread across his face. His ears low and his tail swaying side to side. You smirk, you’ve won!!!!

you’d be alone in a room and he’d come running, “you think ur funny huh?” His arms would be crossed, leaning his body against the door frame. “wdym, miles?” acting as clueless as ever. “dont get all dumb with me mama, I know exactly what your doing” his tone is stern. you shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know what ur talking about” yeah you hit a nerve.

He’d walk up to you. “you better cut the shit baby, I’m giving you one more chance” ur not breaking. ur still acting clueless, like wtf r u saying daddy??

oh he is pissed now. he’d grab your throat, squeezing down and blocking your air pip, “such a fucking stupid baby, you’d do anything to get dicked down wouldn’t you?” your hand is placed on his wrist, your shaking ur head like NO!!!!! but yeah u right

“cmon baby, I know you would, say it cmon, say it and maybe you’ll punishment won’t be so bad” UR NOT SAYING SHIT!!!!

he’d release the hand from ur throat, “ur ass better be in my room in 5, u hear me mama???” yes daddy.

ur RUNNING to his room, the dick too good girl fr. You sit on the bed, nervously biting your nails and questioning everything you’ve done. Was it rlly worth making miles so worked up??? (Yes)

you hear the door open, shit GIRL RUN!!!! this mf rlly chuckling like he walks in and starts laughing at you. “strip”, ur stunned, “w-what?”, “you heard what I said, strip baby” u r RUSHING to get ur clothes off. You’d get to ur panties and miles is like, “uh uh, keep those on for me” anything for u daddy!!!

”want u on all fours mama, ass up in the air for me” and ofc u did!!! you could feel his presence behind you, he’d grab your ass and squeeze the FUCK outta it. and the BOOM SPANK!! ur shocked asf!! “you’d think id let the shit u did slide baby?? uh uh, gonna have to fuck u dumb” GIRL HAVE FUN WITH THAT!!!!

he spanks you again, “how many spanks do u deserve baby?” you shrug, “I-I don’t know” he smiling a little omg. “10 it is then”

SPANK SPANK SPANK!!!! over and over again this mf hitting ur ass till it’s red asf!! ur whining and complaining, “please miles I’ll behave now!! it hurts” he is not taking that. “shut the fuck up slut, ur taking this wether u like it or not, u hear me??” Yes I hear u daddy.

he slaps ur ass one more time before snaking his hand down to ur pussy. He rubs ur clothed clit just a little, to tease you. “look at this pussy baby, u think u deserve to cum??” U nod ur head. He leans down to where his chest is hitting ur back, “u r so fucking dumb” omg…..degrading!miles!!!

this mf is pounding into you from behind, his thrusts are hard and so so deep!! his reaching all the right places. this guy making u think you’ve won. NAH UH!!! like ur about to cum, fluttering around his dick when he stops, pulls your body up, back hitting his chest and say some shit like, “ur so fucking stupid baby, u rlly think Ima let you cum? U think daddy is gonna let his stupid little slut cum after what she did huh baby???” Your whimpered, clawing at his hands on ur hips. Def gonna leave some bruises, “answer me”, “I-I’m sorry sir!!! pls, let me c-cum I’ll do anything” he LAUGHING!!

”oh so ur sorry now huh?? u weren’t so sorry before when u were practically eye fucking lyle??” girl I feel sorry for u. “u want him to fuck u?? u want him to take this pussy and call it his mama??” U shake ur head no, letting out small cries as he begins to buck his hips into urs, “Yeah that’s right, cuz this dick to good huh mama?? this dick makes u so so stupid doesn’t it??” YEAH IT DOES

he flips you over to were ur now facing him, his hands immediately touch ur bottom lip, “open” HE SPITS IN UR MOUTH OMF. “swallow baby, lemme see” u swallow and open ur mouth again, “now ur listening, good girl”

hes being so harsh on you, his hands are digging into ur hips, his thrust are hard and his kisses are quick and dry. girl u are crying. Tears begin to travel down ur cheeks and miles just scoffs.

“what’s with the sniffling princess?? u asked for this didn’t you?? You wanted daddy to fuck u till u go all dumb over his cock right??” u can’t seem to find the words to answer, u just open ur mouth and hope for the best. Moans and whines escape ur throat. he’d won. “yeah look at you, so fucked out all from my big dick, c’mere give daddy a kiss” he leans down and softly kisses ur lips. this kiss was a different tho, it wasn’t quick, it was slow and passionate. His tongue was exploding every inch of ur cave.

Girl he is moaning into ur mouth. little, “mms” or “a-ah fuck” are COMING FROM THIS MANS THROAT AS YALL KISS. it’s driving u mad and his knows it. He pulls away, you whine in response. HES IN AWE “u finally gonna be a good girl for me??, u gonna stop being a brat and let daddy be in charge??” yes ofc omg

”Y-yes daddy!! pls l-let me cum!! wanna cum so b-bad!!” ur begging for him girlomg. he smirks down at u, pleased that his punishment is working. “cmon say it mama, say you’ll be a good girl”, “I’ll be a g-good girl!! I promise p-please!! so close” HE FINALLY BROKE U OMG!!!!

he could feel u fluttering around him more and more, “much better, cum for me baby, you’ve been a good girl” GIRL EXPLODING!!!!!!

nah but why is this the worse thing I have ever written.

requests are officially closed!! only for a few days so I can get this requests out!! if ur request hasn’t been done in that time frame it is either bc writers block, not enough information or smth I would NEVER WRITE LIKE😨😨😨

[wingsdippedingold]

I couldn’t reblog this normally since I have the og poster blocked, but this is a pretty common sentiment in the community that I want to put my comment on:

Now I’m not gonna sit here and argue that there aren’t people who like Feyre more in the first book and consider her to be “better”, because people do, and I think it’s valid to think that as well as valid to not think that. To clarify I think neither, but more on that later. This is also a decently long post, I tried to make it concise but it’s anything but that 💀

I think comparing her character in the first book to her sisters (this post is specifically Nesta, but I’ve seen it done with Elain) is purely made in bad faith. Equating them in this manner blatantly ignores the obvious differences in characterization and nuance in their writing.

It is widely known that SJM has said that Elain and Nesta were just made to be caricatures and cartoon evil sisters and that she didn't initially plan for them to become anything more than background characters. They were meant to be flat and evil, because that’s all the purpose they had at the time. They were there to give Feyre a hard time and make us sympathize with her, and they did that.

No one is saying that that it’s silly to get hung up on Nesta’s actions because they “happened a long time ago and she had development”, they’re saying that because her actions were literally meant to be cartoonishly evil and not to have any actual depth or reasoning to them.

However, Feyre at the time was still a fleshed character that was supposed to be in the spotlight. Her character traits and depth were continuously shown off, whereas her sisters only existed to give her a backstory and struggle. Her character in the first book cannot be written off to the same degree as her sisters, and it’s false equivalency to think that it can be.

At the time the way Nesta and Elain was written was fine, but in deciding to change them to be actual characters with thoughts, feelings, and backstory, Sarah majorly fucked herself over. This is why she had to retcon things and add their own struggles later on and why you’ll see a lot of people defending them for their cabin actions; and as a side of the fandom who take her retcons as canon, you can’t pick and choose which ones you don’t want to take as canon solely because they change the your notion of the character. It’s a packaged deal, either you’re down with SJM’s narrative and story, or you’re not (I’m not), because guess what? The other characters around said character will also comply by these retcons.

But when you hammer it down so hard that these girls are horrible people in the first book because you couldn’t give the time of day to make sure you’re actually creating a cohesive storyline, rather than just trying to push out a character for people to immediately sympathize with, it’s hard to rectify that, and I often find it the mark of a bad writer (and poor planner) regardless if you weren’t planning on ACOTAR being a series.

I 100% understand Nesta hate, it’s hard to change your idea of a character when you’ve already been made to dislike them and like the character they initially antagonized. If she, or any other character, is not your cup of tea, that’s fine. Like what you like. Hate what you hate (assuming you stay in your lanes and tag correctly, which many of you do not do, and instead tag specifically to push your anti content into pro spaces and make people mad, but that’s a different topic) u, this circles back to my original point that you cannot equate the validity of the characters and writing of Nesta and Elain to Feyre in the first book.

Now do I agree that Feyre was her '"true self" in book 1 vs the others? No.

I think a lot of people, and a lot of antis, earlier Feyre lovers, and probably some of my mutuals, will disagree with me on this, but Feyre's character progression has always made sense to me. That's not necessarily to say that I like it, but considering her circumstances, the people around her, the environment, and her own personality and beliefs, her change and progression from ACOTAR to ACOSF makes total sense to me. I do think there's some inconsistencies, and I definitely think there’s a lot of situations where ACOTAR Feyre would react differently than later Feyre, but that’s just a product of her being a character with an arc and overall I can understand how she got from point A to point B.

I won't get into the details here, but if anyone's curious on why I think so, Imk, l'd love to talk about it

There’s also a good chance that the original poster of this will try to argue my way directly from my account, which is weird because I have you blocked, so I won’t see it, nor do I care to… so don’t? Idk man, save your energy, the stalking is crazy

[carmenized-onions]

as soon as i read the word ‘amish’ i physically recoiled because i just knew you would mess with my mental stability this chapter!

ignore how much of a shambles this is, i start off coherent but end up just making incomprehensible statements so don’t worry if you need help translating! i just wanted to make sure i gave you an idea of HOW FUCKING GOOD THIS WAS

i love the way you wrote this interaction, like i feel like it’s perfectly both average and extraordinary if that makes sense - which perfectly sets up what mikey and chips friendship was omg you are too good

of course he won’t let you have peace that’s literally a member of the berzatto family they haven’t known a moment of peace in their lives

MIKEYS ALWAYS SEEN YOU and fixer friend combo is insane don’t play with me

love me some divorce era richie angst

i’ve never heard the word jamoke before i had to google it is that so british of me

“you’re not gonna remember that” oh sweetie you will remember richie because i will make you remember

they are my fav comedic duo #guarddog vibes

a moment for the pork sandwich, and the yoink

i don’t want to go back to a time where mikey wasn’t there after reading this first section, like it’s too much

wait you giving me carmens pov of his worst friday ever is enough for me to slightly forgive you for mikey tb

random but i want to know what chips handwriting looks like - i know it’s a reader x carmy book but she’s basically an oc in my head now

no way chip is a youngest child wtf

no one gets being the guy like mikey and chip i fear

she keeps kid band aids in her wallet oh yes

YOU FUCKING TELL HIM carmy (im still mad at you btw)

her being mikeys sponsor i can’t i really cant do it

she quit being an emt for him

this is almost as painful as hearing him call her a failure

“im not a fucking patient chip” - oh you berzattos when you feel vulnerable

jazz hands away the awkwardness so real

never assume they are together ever ever

chip will not listen to people calling addicted junkies ever

the whimsy is gone

no.

get him syd go for the jugular

they’re multiplying DONT MAKE ME LAUGH NINE FAKS

eva’s richie she’s a little richie “insane uncle”

no … not the funeral … NOOOOO

she is a patoot!!!! she really is!!!!

performance anxiety… girl that’s your brother

it’s still michael’s office

richie the book nerd era

i took no notes after this as i was too upset!!! i’m sorry all i can say is it’s ur fault for being too good

IT’S THE FINAL ASK BEFORE WE UPLOAD NEXT CHAP BABY LETS FUCKING GO I DID IT I DID IT IN A NIGHT I’M GONNA BUY MYSELF LUNCH IN THE MORNING CAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE ONE TONIGHT LMAO who wants to donate to my ko-fi kidding kidding kidding

I WAS SOOOO HOPING FOR THAT RECOIL. What I love about the “what are you amish” is that I don’t know if everyone remembered— But that story chip told was so specific and so immediately upon seeing amish which has only been used one other time, it IMMEDIATELY TRANSPORTS YOU AND I LOVE THAT. 

Thank you thank you thank you— Any thoughts are good thoughts and you’ve always sent the most wonderful analysis’ so to see you rendered kind of speechless really is a genuine tremendous honour so thank you I do appreciate i DO!

I absolutely wanted that like perfectly average yet extraordinary meeting— It’s like Tina and Mikey meeting to me— Or even honestly like, us as viewers meeting Mikey for the first time in his first scenes he actually speaks in— Those were genuinely so magical to me. It was like getting to meet the fucking wizard. Or the ghost that haunts us. Two things can be true. 

This family doesn’t know the WORD peace, they know the word piece. Like pieces? Is that what you ordered? Torn to pieces u say? FIXER FRIEENNDDDD!! I can’t believe Jamoke hadn’t made it across the pond until now. Happy to educate. Had to look up if Jamoke is used in chicago— A solid 5 articles came up so I think I’m good. 

Genuinely while writing everytime I had to switch I was like MOM DONT MAKE ME GO OVER THERE I HATE IT THERE!!! And then I’d get stuck in and have a lot of fun, and then I’d have to switch back, and the cycle would repeat. 

Ahhh Chip’s handwriting. What would it look like? I feel like it’s gotta be either really neat like wrote the most insane school notes in college with mildliners and everything or it’s literally fucking incoherent. Maybe both. When she’s got time it’s the first, when she doesn’t, it’s the second.

I WILL NOT TAKE YOUNGEST CHILD SLANDER ITS MY TURN ON THE XBOX I GET TO CHOOSE THE SIBLING DYNAMIC REPRESENTATION!!!! No one’s gonna ever get being the Guy like Chip and Mikey (and her child bandaids)

I should clarify also— Did Mikey’s OD act as the final nail in the coffin of quitting? A million times yes. Does Mikey think she abandoned the career for him? A million times yes. But she really WAS considering quitting already— SHE GETS TO MAKE THE CALL OF WHAT SHE BETS ON MIKEY YOU FUCKER !!!!

Berzattos when anyone tries to take care of them in any way: Oh so you think i’m fucking crazy? You think I need to be put in a ward? I’m going to prove you wrong by going ape shit right now.

Chip gets so defensive over Carmen sayin’ junkie ESPECIALLY because Mikey said it about himself!! To hear the brother that Mikey loved so much say that shit OH her blood was boiling. Jazz hands the pain away. Sydney get his ass. 

Faks are multiplying, Richie is multiplying with a little Eva— PEOPLE GET PERFORMANCE ANXIETY OVER A LOT OF THINGS— I GET PERFORMANCE ANXIETY WHEN I MAKE TUMBLR POSTS OKAY

I don’t honestly remember if I intentionally wrote it being ‘he goes back to Michael’s office’. I hope i did that intentionally because it’s fucking gutting. I also did forget they redid the office in S2— Which like. Why. Why are we spending any of the budget on anything not required. I dont. Gettit. Regardless, in CK, it’s absolutely the old shitty S1 office and i have NO intention of changing that. 

Thank you for these thoughts i would spend so much longer thanking you but we have to get thIS FUCKING CHAPTER OUT BECAUSE I WANT TO REREAD IT BEFORE BED THERES NO TIME I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU NEW CHAPTER IN LIKE 10 MINUTES OKAY PROBABLY LESS

[celestie0]

Girl look this is gonna sound like a love confession bc maybe it is idk I’m obsessed with ur braincells in another life your definitely one of my best pookies 😔🫶

Like the way I FELL in love with kickoff was so uncalled for bc what business do I have being this invested in an athlete frat college au when I’m generally all for the domestic angsty husband wifey shit anyway now idk how to cope when it’s finished so pls take my hand in marriage and we can have pillow talk abt them 💍❤️ thank you.

genuinely ur writing is chefs kiss though 👌 (let me kiss ur hands 😗) and I love love love that u actually seem to have real knowledge on what u write about like the soccer games and the all the camera stuff it gives the story sm more substance

anyway penny for my thoughts 🤧 ?

This fanart on TikTok: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYaQwJQo

ok so basically when I first started reading the fic and I was talking to my friend abt all the frat shenanigans (WHICH I LOVE BTW IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS FRAT BOY TROPE NOW) we both related it to this one fanart: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYaCy7aX/

which then made a lot of sense bc it’s literally meant to be satosugu as frats (AAAAHHH 😫)

anyway so then I went on the account and discovered that first link right bc getos seggsy ass was the focus in the other one

and I just thought it was so fitting like the face is a bit off bc I think the darling artist is clearly a fellow geto girlie butttt the fit and stuff like yk how the insufferable man child was wearing fucking HO-HO glasses in the first chapter yeahh anyway hope u see it too and Imma do the good deed of passing word your fic onto the TikTok artist

forgot I was meant to be dot pointing

y/n

does anyone actually insert their name ? Idk I never have lol

love her

she usually ends up being my favourite character bc duh she’s girliepop

I struggle sm to read books bc like character names and stuff can throw me off so I prefer to dabble in GOOD fanfics every now and then (aka your masterpiece) or just indulge in smut when I’m ovulating 🙂‍↕️

ignore that

ummm so yeah I find books hard to get into since they start on a blank canvas and since I’m already obsessed with our marvellous blue eyed baby daddy fanfics are ideal cause they just build over that

anyway back to y/n I don’t actually remember what I was gonna say shes just bae

The slow burn holy shit especially the bed chapter like I kept going back and forth who’s gonna make a move only to fall asleep all bricked up at 2 AM 🥲

so well done

one random fav scene of mine is when he takes out the digimon credit card idk ur ideas and the way u write movement in scenes it just clicks for me

I like my shit my way. It’s all in my brain right these angst chronicles and I kinda just wanna see it written out bc I’m a lazy bitch and I cannot commit so I usually opt for like one shots or what not idk like “when he makes you cry” or “ when you use the safe word with them ft gojo, geto, toji” you know the gist of it

I have certain ideas in my head that I don’t like to compromise especially regarding y/n ig because I am her allegedly

but bro 😓

the way I folded for you omg 🙏

this deserves a list if it’s own lol but btw putting this out there I dont even except u to read through this shit I’m just in a yapping state of mind and I’ve come this far so ._. :

My first major red flag was the jeans

not my style okay I’d live my life in pretty little empire waistline lingerie night gowns if I could

First thought was “what in the white girl” butttt then my brain went “it’s giving Lana del Rey like when she was younger and was always seen by paparazzi just in a white tee and blue jeans + that one concert she did wearing jorts and a cute white top with hoop earring, chewing gum and smoking while singing summer time sadness like the absolute icon she is”

and bam I can fw it now 🤝

her hight is one thing I differ on tho cause I’m short so I blur my vision whenever u mention any kind of height or size related comparison with gojo bc ik it’s not accurate to me especially with that tree of a man and I want my moments too 😔

Shoko

I just don’t see her like that okay she’s so above gojos lanky ass in canon verse

but thennn as always u came through with the descriptionsss 🔥

the denim skirt

the sorority glitter cheeksss

hot.

okay I’m starting to sound 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃 my apologies

The age differences

honestly this wasn’t that much if a discrepancy I just found it a bit funny like todo as his homeboy lol

but yuji was so cute and I’m all for dad gojo but you’ve opened my mind to big brother gojo and I don’t see what’s not to like about it

As for the rest of the characters

Loved yuji as the bouncer (I didn’t know what that even was, again love how u actually know what u write about)

and also just that tiny crumb of megs when readers taking pictures, I can totally picture him as a soccer player

nanami was so odd to imagine but I settled on teen nanami with the emo hair and such

Choso

I just love chosos existence in this fic thanks for that 😌

OKAYYYYY this length of yap sesh should land me in a psych ward I spent a good hour and a half on this I’d say

but yes it’s due time I professed my ever growing admiration for you (💍 🔪)

I will check out if you’ve given fic recs but again I’m into the marriage pregnancy type shi and I do love me a good college au now more than ever so if u may 🤲

jk ‼️I DONT EXPECT YOU TO REPLY TO ANY OF THIS IM A BIG FAN REGARDLESS‼️

cannot wait for the next chapter (can he please dick us down hard already your edge game is something else 🫠)

xoxo 💋

OH WOW FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS ASK?? i appreciate the love for kickoff sm :”) even though it’s not something you usually read!! and yes 💯 to that fanart

haha i actually know close to nothing about soccer. i just ask chatgpt a bunch of questions about it when i write 🤣 but i know a tiny bit ab film photography cuz one of my close friends studied film in college :) i’m so happy those aspects stick out to you!!

HAHA pls the whole bed scene in ch8 was a lot of fun to write. i just love domestic lil convos between two people, and the lil digimon scene made me emotional to write bc it reminded me of how nerdy canon gojo is LOL (i miss him sm)

i’m glad you like yn too!! tbh she’s the center focus of the story in my eyes haha gojo is just a side character 💀 and wymmm my girlie is SHORT too 🤣 well idk how short you’re talking haha but in my head she’s 5’4 cuz that’s how tall i am lol

thank you sm for interacting so deeply with my silly lil story 😭💕 sorry if i didnt respond to all aspects of your ask but i read it all and was cheesing so hard plskdjdhd. so glad you’re looking forward to more!! also haha i saw your follow up ask too and YES gojo as a cat dad wasn’t something on my kickoff bingo card but alas here we are 🤣 much love from me 💕

alsooo i do have another series called “in holy matriphony” that is a fake marriage au gojo x reader :0 just mentioning that since you said you’re in the domestic marriage sorts of stuff. it’s kind of a silly n crack fic vibes tho LOL maybe not the serious angsty stuff but it’ll have angst for sure too :”) just if you’re interested bb!! <3

[astralmarionette]

THIUGHTS ON THE GUILD GO! I loved them sm they were my fav faction and all the characters make me deeply insane I am WAITING for them to come back they have to asagiri set up too many plot points not to bring them back. Sigh. my favs r lucy n poe n mitchell n hawthorne n steinbeck but I like all of them

Omg omg okay i LOVE thr Guild I spent like 30 minutes last night trying to predict the different Guild members because Autism. (I FUCKING LOOKED UP MARk TWAIN BC I WAS LIKE U CANT HAVE AMRRICAN AUTHORS AN NOT HAVE MARKY YKW??? LIKE HES LItERALLY BROUGHT UP IN EVERY SINGLE LIT CLASS IN AMERICA BRO and nothing came up OU IM SO MAD)

BTW, I tend to use a first name basis with authors btw theyre actually all my best friends i know them on a deeper level (my mom said that i need to seek help today, this is what happens when all yr friendships are superficial as a kid methinks)

anyways. here are my thoughts:

Mr Francy Pants (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald): i wasn't too opinionated on him til I learned his ability (like i said we need to stop letting white ppl get rich bro...) and then i was like i need this guy dead and then i learned his motive and i was like oh my god hes literally just a guy he wants nothing but to mAKE HIS WIFE HAPPY OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so he slays actaully i hope hes alive :((

Louisa May Alcott: LOMLLLLLLLL i love little women so im extremely bias towards her but wtv when Francis was going on his lil rant abt owning her and everything i was like woah now careful abt how you speak to my girl

Nathaniel: Lord....forgive me...... HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FINE OH my GODDDD Nathaniel was made for the girlies with complicated relationships with religion i fear (ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME )

Margaret: love me a woman who dresses like that okay but im fairly certain the actual woman was racist soooo kinda mixed feelings?? but the character is amazing and perfect (ignoring the restoring her family's honor.........) and i actually loved her accent lol it was southern enough to be southern but not too southern to be fake lol southern accents actaully arent always there for my area lol they come and go and are stronger when angry/ come out stronger on certain words or phrases loll

Lucy: OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH seeing that she got caught PAINED ME LIKE NOOOO ATSU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GO AND SAVE HER BUT NOW I FEAR HES FORGOTTEN IN ALL THE EVERYTHING GOIONG ON OUGHHHHHHHHHH

Anne is SOOO Cutie Pie too btw and I love that one she looks like Anne of Green Gables (obvi) BUT ALSO Raggedy Anns!!!!!

Marky Mark: HES SO CUTE ACTUALLY ???? I love his "im just here for the fun of it" attitude that was rlly nice AND HUCK AND TOM ARE SOOOO CUTE and i love the fact that hes a gunsmith despite im pretty sure the book characters he brought to life and real life author being like these scrappy lil southern boys lolll i like that they didnt go the kenji route with him and have him be like a (read this in a southern accent btw) lil farmer boy with good intentions for everyone :D type character !!!!!! love him 10/10 scrunkly

John Steinbeck: his grape thing freaked me the fuck out the first time he did it i was so thoroughly gagged like...... hes cute but in term of design he and Francy look soo similar I got tired of these basic ass white men sorry TvT (looking at them made me feel like i was watching hetalia again LMAOOO) hes scrunkly poo too tho and i love his quirk (mha gagged with quirk im sooo sorry)

Lovecraft: He rlly puts the love in Lovecr....Im gonna stop there sorry :( that sounded jsut as bad in my head LMAO I LVOE HIM i love the fact that him turning into Kraken is just. smth he can do. not his quirk hes jsut like that. (okay actually he didnt write Kraken so idk what the fuck he turns into but he just like me fr) i love his absolute apathy to everything he rlly is sucha girl like he just wants to sleep fr !!!! he had empty eyes and long lucious hair and thats enough to make me love you so i literally DONT CARE bout NOTHIGN ELSE !!!! 10000/10 hes so fine omg....

Melville: hes actually so chill. i like him! he had honor and standards that he upheld himself and i heavy respect that! going down w yr ship is like the easiest way to gain my respect cuz that troupe >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AND LAST BUT ABSOLUTELY DEFINETELY NOT LEAST:

Edgar Allan Poe:

do I, Dorian Nico di Marionette (my legal Tumblr name), even need to say anything about how much I love this man. I'm not even just talking about the bsd character. I'm talking about the actual author too. He's literally so cool. Like so cool. He came, he lived, he fucked around and found out, and he died!!! He is literally everything I wish to be. Cool, Autistic, Mysterious, Silly. And now specifically the character: I love his need for praise bc ME tOO. I love that he had given himself ONE PURPOSE and that purpose was to beat Ranpo and give him the mystery of his life like yes girl devote your entire being and existence to that ONE (1) man !!!!!! (me) (we need help)

i love that he has a pet Raccoon esp since the general agreement is that he died of rabies like...... ( i personally think he was murdered but idk... ijust feel like someone didnt like him bc he accomplished alot and they probably couldn)

he and ranpos lil friendhsip warms my lil heart to like................... like i said in my tags they remind me of Hikaru and Kaoru in a way where their world was "us" and "not us" and like they are the only ones who can keep each other on each others toes and constantly getting better and giving the ultimate form of praise (theres nothing like getting praise from someone in your field of work, esp someone that you regard as "better than you") and thats so.......... (and if i say codependcy (I WILL PUSH CODEPENDCY ON EVERYTHING BRO I NEED TO SEEK HELP))

anyways these are my excessive thoughts i need help lol

[mywitchcultblr]

About RPF and fandom is selective

Might get cancelled over this but i no longer give a fuck, the subject of debate over RPF celebrity fanfic made me realize that an overwhelming amount of discourse war this or that on fandom doesn't fucking matter and just something blown out of proportion because people like outrage/drama or riding high horse. I think i have seen a lot of people saying that all kind of RPF is disgusting and bad blah blah but NOBODY bat an eye when Hollywood is making BUTT LOADS of money from RPF all the freaking time!! Hell a lot of people even latch into RPF fandom like The Great or OFMD. Bridgeton itself can be considered as an RPF with the Queen Charlotte plot and now new spin-off show.

Also when someone say "Well those RPF are about dead people." You know that SNL parody about public figure and political satire comic is RPF too right? The Simpsons have RPF episodes about living people, hell freaking minions have Lizbeth II added to the movie when she's alive.

Yet NOBODY were having an outrage about it.

"Well the celeb consented into those movies"

House of Gucci movie literally didn't have the approval from the Gucci family who are still alive, and I doubt Alex Baldwin have the permission from Trump either to parodied him on SNL (which i think being parodied in a negative light on national tv is far more damaging to someone's reputation than whatever niche fanfic on a niche site on AO3. Btw, fyi i hate trump, not defending him here) Yet nobody are angry about these works. Dante Inferno is RPF, i have found an RPF novel written about a teenage girl who had a crush on Napoleon, it's called "Betsy and the Emperor" No one cares

Yeah RPF involving minors especially one that is sexual is bad i think we all can agree on that, that's entering freaking CSEM territory. And it's just weird to write RPF fanfic about nonpublic figure. But for RPF about celeb who are adults, people doesn't actually really know those celebs and mostly just using the name and public persona. There's an F in RPF fanfic for a reason. Also celeb fanfic on AO3 or whatever are not for mainstream consumption. It's niche, on the internet and tagged.

Also one of the holy rule of writing celeb RPF is TO NOT show the fanfic to the person like ever. Which means the public figure won't ever see them unless they deliberately went into the rabbit hole

These are RPF and making money...

Nobody gonna cancel minions over it? I get it you might feel squicks and might don't like whatever celeb RPF on AO3 but it's boggle my mind how people can be so aggressive against fandom RPF yet nobody bat an eye when Hollywood doing the same thing. Yeah i concluded... This is it. This finally 100 percent opened my eyes that fandom discourse this and that nearly all of them are just bullshit 😂

Because fandom will condemned one thing but then they won't care if mainstream media doing it, then some of them even joining and celebrating the thing they claim to be bad when they like the movie/show/books 😂 things that is not a big deal suddenly become a big deal in fandom. Like whatever women should be canceled if they like yaoi *roll eyes*

I feel like the discourse came from "This are my fave celeb how dare u!" Then devolving into the whole toxic discourse or even harassment while people at the same time ignoring Hollywood doing the same.

[berlinbisque]

Proud Reject (Part 1)

I’m literally blind my eyesight has deteriorated further everything’s blurry the day starts in bed & ends like that too no sunlight no connection with the outside world no one to talk to just my phone and my thoughts & loads of tears… that’s how everyday begins and ends. Its not self imposed, this happens when you are isolated by people. I can’t type but I wanted to write this… I love this mini story or script more than my next book even though the book’s more interesting but out of personal choice I like the story which I’ll be sharing tomorrow more than that, it’s not on any professional level it’s just something I would’ve discussed with a friend and laughed ie. if I had friends, something started that particular “topic” and I couldn’t help wondering… what if?

My heart was in my mouth again cuz I received a reel on FB which had his friend Aditya (he was either pretending to be him in 2016 or he himself inspite of being engaged was interested idk) they were dancing like most tv ppl and I got another panic attack… my mother was already torturing me, I woke up with high fever I still have fever headache it’s been there since a week I’m getting wheezing due to continuous crying and I realised that he wants someone famous to make such videos too. Someone rich and famous like that. Even in abroad there’s no pressure, over there all those celebs (who are are much more popular) even the ones in their early 20s when they make videos that too just one or two out of fad, they film it on their cheap phones they don’t care about the blurry quality they are not trying to sell it, they just don’t care about all that and those who are of my age (still nowhere close to Aditya, he was older than Harsh also) some of them, even if they have all those pics that I personally like (with their boyfriends - trekking or at the lake, casual everyday candid shots) they still find it hard to cope with social media and they eventually take a break from it, had they been in my position they too would’ve ended up like this out of all that pressure. I can’t keep up with your life. Few things that I’ll like to share before starting with my story, A - the sketches I’m sorry if he was hurt. I had not made them, my book wasn’t like Rupi Kaur’s either it never had those intimate doodles. I think my mother stalks me (I don’t want to write about her publicly but I have to share all this please don’t judge me by her) and she has taken advantage of a lot of things and also challengingly said “Did anyone come to help you? Everyone hates you and no one pays attention no one cares, everyone wants you to die and you will die alone like this” she has also told me a lot of hurtful things related to that guy, taking advantage of that as well and and the problem is (my hands are cold n numb lifeless rn) I can’t convey my feelings directly through some app or something so I have to rely on these public posts NO MAILS he ain’t some God or Celebrity (being a celebrity means being celebrated not deprecated) I’m not some groupie or teenager to mail my fav celebrity crush and he doesn’t belong to any boy band. What’s in it for me? Will I be rescued from my mother or helped with my health issues which started DUE TO HIM? Or is he just gonna sit there reading my mail, getting happy with all the validation after which he’ll ignore it. Am I that? Hahaha I’m not into human worship. We are more focused on our lives… especially those like me in my position. She has told me several times that I’m a “sl-u-tt” for being in LOVE or for falling in love. She also came up with the forcer tag even thought it was torturous for me and I kept crying and saying STOP stop stop cuz for us as girls rape or force is worse than murder, I never wanted him to marry me just to take responsibility for his actions I never wanted to punish him with myself and I always respected him and I’ll continue to do so I’m not his fans to write cheap comments like I saw in that dancing video (they were writing about his shirt). That tacky shirt made the whole video even more disturbing, and I didn’t see the entire thing I was in the middle of a panic attack, I just saw one shot then I died. After that I vomited, my pressure was falling rapidly and I kept crying for days cuz you know what right… (25th Oct) anyway I never shared this (one more reason/aspect) like that Chote Pandit tells Ruhaan or Ruh Baba “Aap par aise chichore kapde jajte nahi hai” I was like aah that is what they call it… anyway haha but I don’t want anyone who is being an “eye candy” for other females on television, they come and hit on him in comments that too cheap comments. Yes everyone’s doing it but that’s why we are so depressed and you are anyway not with me I don’t even get a fraction of your day or time.

My mother used that word force several times (she has said other unimaginable offending things too) cuz I was crying and it was triggering me, she said it because I wanted him to say something (but we weren’t even discussing that) for talking or communication cuz I just wanted his OCD to break. It started within 24 hours and not how you might think we met on 2nd Oct then 2 years later 2nd April and I know that we all feel jaded to text sometimes or keep the conversation going, we might not feel enthusiastic anymore after that initial excitement or whatever but it wasn’t like that, if it would’ve been that I wouldn’t have even taken so much stress. We’ve all done that at some point in our lives, internet makes us lethargic, we also get addicted to more exploration or finding new people to talk to… we feel like we can do better or take our time to choose whoever’s the most ideal for us, but his case was totally different.

At some point we would all respond or say something maybe after a week or even after getting let’s say - reconnected after losing contact or reaching a temporary impasse. We wouldn’t hold on to any grudge or some kind of a “promise” he swore never to talk to me, there was nothing to be mad about, he just decided that we will never have any direct contact his parents also said “We don’t want to keep any talukaat (contact) particularly with your daughter” he kept liking my pics BUT not replying to any of the texts (when he started liking my photos religiously I texted him on FB messenger because I thought maybe my texts weren’t getting through and I wasn’t receiving his due to some glitch but he READ those FB texts and still didn’t respond) and even after that he was liking the pics then when I told him “Are u feeling sorry for me, why do you keep liking the photos, is it the BB pin what you wanted, I even gave you a reason that too it was all funny and I gave it the very same night as soon as I woke up in the middle of it I gave it” he removed me from the list after that. I am getting wheezing I can’t get overwhelmed I had shared the exact thing which I told him when he was asking for my pin (long ago) I can’t keep reiterating everything everywhere. He then kept blocking and ignoring my real account but speaking to the fake ID

The coincidences and those premonitions in my dreams had already started which made me more curious about his behaviour so I tried talking to him but that fake ID like I said was for my school friend who was also stalking me with her fake ID. And I would not see his stories or anything, I was playing her Snapchat story but his was queued so it started playing by default where I saw that training session. When I tried speaking to him using my real acc… he not only blocked me AS SOON AS HE HEARD MY NAME (like I said he wanted no “direct” contact between me and him) he also made his account private. He made me feel like a stalker, I had already started getting panic attacks and I had stopped watching TV it has been off since then (2015 Sept) I tried moving on in Aug itself but I told you what happened over and over again, same old story repeated heartbreaks… cuz they only wanted girls like me as a call girl and according to them only pageant winners or models, fair and rich or extremely famous girls even those with notoriety (nothing worth all that attention) who were out of their league were all meant for dating. I never fell in that category. Eventually they ended up with actual call girls. I have seen their pics and I’ve seen some in real life too. All those other girls whom they were chasing would treat them like “fans” karma. Not only actors everyone these days does that and then girls of my level (caliber) get married to roadside romeos and illiterate creeps/pervs cuz all those men also want someone out of their league and they prey on us… this is a common problem in India. Anyway like I said I just wanted to see if he still remembered me by the end of that year and if he still hated me (for no reason) I had not added him to view his stories but he blocked me and made everything private. I’m twitching it affects me subconsciously now… my mother also makes me feel like this after years of (weird) coincidences which were linked to him and all that insensitivity (the story escalated he never made peace his behaviour only got worse along with all that humiliating ignorance) since she called me a “sl-tt” for falling in love with him I eventually ended up telling her that her marriage was literally arranged it wasn’t a love marriage but yet she got prégnant so many times so was that out of love or lust? I never wanted to get on such terms with her but she would keep torturing me (she had thrashed me ruthlessly even after getting fibromyalgia several times cuz I have no one in this world to support me or tell her anything) she has in fact told me a lot of harmful and offending things (out of gloating) “Dekho kuch aur kabhi koi nahi mila iss aurat ko yeh akeli hi reh gayi” and laughed (I was 25) I’ve been getting addressed as aurat or woman ever since I was 12. I was told I should’ve drowned during 26th July floods and never returned from school I would sit on the stairs with my heavy bag famished and parched everyday after coming home for 2-3 hours cuz my mother would not leave keys for me, and then get tortured at home for another one hour, I would keep telling myself one day someone will come and all this would end but I ended up being bed ridden because of whoever came and it continued for many more years to come, all my youth and adulthood.

I was never a likeable girl whom you could fall in love with, I never had those superficial attributes (white complexion, money, fame etc. they would only try to treat us like call girls that’s why I’m a lip virgin) . When I said about love and arranged marriages she said she had every right cuz she was legally married and I’m a forcer rapist (for wanting to know the reason behind his sudden silence and that absurd behaviour) she keeps saying or blurting these things out because of unrequited love cuz no one likes or wants me, it’s perceived as a social stigma in India. Cuz there’s nothing from the opposite side not even care or basic concern as a Co-human literally how can someone be so insensitive? She says all that derisively, again out of gloating and competition just to pull me down as another female. Today things were worse even though I had wheezing and I’m still getting it + fever and headache. I’m gonna cut it short now I’ve written a lot…

So coming back to the OCD or whatever part where he had made a rule that there would be no direct contact - he would either speak to my fake ID or use his own friend’s ID but one of us had to be someone else. Go through this link: https://www.lilacnights.com/post/surprise The other day I murmuring in my sleep I was so disoriented I kept saying “Aditya came with his gf Aditi… God knows for what, Harsh was also 10 kms away Aditya had said he would go to some bakery in Kandivali for evening snacks Kandivali is where they would reside he was at his house even though he would always be 6 kms away which is Malad” then I said to myself “No wake up it’s Tanvi not Aditi obviously”

I had told you, the Devil or angels all these entities in fact can probably read our minds and you know when I was browsing certain quotes it’s as if they were talking to me… one of them reflected exactly what I was thinking a few days back - Since I had seen his house in 2015-16 I knew he wasn’t rich and like I said he wasn’t even that big on Instagram or FB no blue tick and 2500-3000 followers with 250 likes, from his (natural) pics I thought he wasn’t that good looking or fair (it’s just that he wasn’t very photogenic) and so I fell in love with him but then some tarot reader told me (I had to rely on all that cuz he was not saying anything) that he was reluctant cuz he thought I was like a gold digger so I started cutting down all my expenses worked on several articles for my blogs back then, I was 20 but I was trying to be as understanding as possible… I started buying things on Sale literally if you’ve noticed for 100s-1000 all these years because of my panic attacks I never saw him after 2016 Feb and I thought maybe that is what he wanted there was anyway no hope from the others, and I had coincidences or signs here so I thought I’ll do this and then I realised it was all futile, all the selflessness and altruism it just wasn’t worth it. I even wrote a letter and clarified/acknowledged that it could be one sided while also sharing my feelings for him cuz I thought he would also cut down on his expenses because his brother was jobless like mine. That’s why I hate today’s generation they ruin everyone’s life along with their’s but I’m from Gen Z I’m actually younger than his younger brother it’s just that they are always like that, they have no pressure or expectations. I poured lots of love in that letter for this part but he hated me and then he had that stage show with her which broke my heart and I never gave it and my mother also was about to hit me again cuz she secretly read that (it had nothing which could’ve made her that livid or furious not even like a proper I love you or anything) she just said “Stop trying to look great or good” I saw the Devil’s numbers so I’m guessing it was him you had read my mind when I was telling myself that it was all wrong, I shouldn’t have ever tried being ideal for someone like that when he was already well off or rich or good looking he never needed love like me that’s why he never even understood anything, I don’t know why his house looked like that or if like ppl say Gujjus actually hide money but it was all deceptive, he was already too good he never needed love he was in a way better position. I kept saying I should’ve enjoyed and loved my life instead of getting bed ridden and cutting down everything, living on that bare minimum stuff c’mon… he showed a quote which had the exact same emotions and it was talking about all this too.

Then there were more quotes again with my thoughts but with answers this time - As a piece of advice *clears throat* the Devil’s like “Times change, we change, our choices change too… maybe you should just live out your dreams now” the background images everything all the signs suggested/reminded me of the rest of the stuff, let’s say he wants some tv actress to make those stupid immature dance reels (remember what had happened last time right? Two of them in their 40s made a misogynistic video where he was liye talk throwing her around and getting abusive and for some reason that was supposed to be funny and then that guy that “actor” he actually slammed her head against the wall in real life cuz he was having an affair) the fortune telling app said he wants someone “talented” to make those reels and earn money ummm seriously? You are going to hold auditions and another Swayamvar for this? You actually need talent for such stupid ass videos? Really? 😂🤣🤣🤣 He reminded me of my dreams (ironically the Devil not him) and he’s right here so if he is “rejecting” me for these reels like overage teenagers then even I will say - I want some NRI who stays abroad and who will take me away from all this (I gave examples of so many famous celebrities from MY age group all these ppl making videos are older, those celebs they don’t do all this and even if they do it cuz it’s a fad now it’s shot on blurry pixelated quality for fun not money and some of them they take all those cute casual pics and use Instagram like a digital album like some of our Indian Bollywood celebs and that’s it, they don’t turn this into a career that too most of it is just for attention) so yeah he’s right if he’s rejecting me for that especially after I’ve become conscious I don’t even look good so yeah I’m not suitable for the camera I have become agoraphobic I haven’t left my room since 2017 I’ve become bed ridden and he is still thinking selfishly about his own life then I also want a rescuer an actual hero who will take me abroad because why is he even staying India? Just got fame right? You hardly get anything here, we needed something for our living room and bathroom some important fixtures and even there there’s literally no choice or even proper functionality. If you see the state of our roads or the air quality outside you’ll literally feel like shifting there… it’s getting worse day by day, we hardly get any quality product here, prices are getting hiked and unlike abroad there are no alternatives, I keep getting cheap ads from “homegrown businesses” in India who are busy making Sx toys, the land of superficial Kama sutra and Chappis or pervs what else do you expect? Indians don’t need beautiful cosy homes or designer spaces (that too in a budget) or other things such as good quality food or air or any kind of consumption like that cuz they are only good at fcking and having kids. Our population shows that there are literally no brains here… my head is paining.

My mother would never believe or support me when I would say I’m always about to face molestation in the school bus cuz I’m my stop was last and I would be the only girl left everyday I would force myself to somehow keep away my head wud keep banging against the window cuz I would get drowsy, they (driver and cleaner) didn’t even spare a KG toddler, I eventually took things into my own hand and the cleaner’s frustration was evident that day and when I grew up I saw smother school bus’s driver ogling me (when I was a teenager) in my car, I immediately looked behind to see if they were being accompanied by a teacher cuz that was a new rule but the teacher was sitting obliviously completely ignorant to that in her own sweet world… (Jamnabai Bus) another toddler’s case came on tv that year where they parents had paid 10k for her picnic where she was raped and the teacher kept threatening and manipulating and raping her repeatedly he was a sad case my hands are again I’ve cold I had to mention all that this is one more reason why I don’t want kids anymore and this country it’s unlivable. I can’t stay here. All my school friends are married to NRIs, and I don’t want to stay here either… in fact considering my thoughts and everything I should’ve been the first to move. All my school friends would think I was from there… Someone had even told me that I was too sophisticated to be here when it saw my old website (I don’t have it now) he was surprised it was made in India. We asked about the bathroom hardware btw, I just received a response and as guessed they’ve shifted everything to exports inspite being an Indian brand, all the good stuff is reserved for Dubai and other places… people who don’t deserve to be there (cheap bimbos) have already shifted, for me I just fell short of the mark because of my looks ur complexion I don’t know what to blame. Look at these beautiful velvety chenille cushions with all those intricate designs (traditional + Aztec) I have studied all this on my own… you don’t get this stuff in India btw, we get nothing here.

I somehow got those items, it’s me Zara after all I can’t keep something ugly or bad in that bathroom, there has to be congruity like everything else I’m always in sync with the universe. We felt like thieves though to buy things made in Rajasthan as if it was all smuggled. In India girls develop a defence mechanism from an early age, it might sound like really dreary and lascivious if I’ll keep bringing up this topic but in this particular article I feel like I’ll have to discuss it not explicitly but I’ll have to make you understand why as girls or more precisely as ineligible (darker toned females who don’t have a rich father to buy a bridegroom for her, who won’t be able to afford any dowry you might think times have changed BUT I literally heard someone in my own family shouting and saying “My best friend’s girl has several hotels at her name her father is a business tycoon and look at me I can’t woo anyone like that, where am I? Uske gf ke baap ki itni saari hotelein hai dekho and wht about me?” He doesn’t even want to get married. That same gf was so weird she had a deviant personality she locked him from outside while they were on a trip God knows for what reason and kept him under lock and key. He woke up locked in that room.

We deal with lecherous men from the age of 10-11 and all these educated men who are supposed to take care of us are feeding us to the wolves I wanted someone of my caliber to talk to who would understand my thoughts, who would’ve able to keep up with me and my conversations someone who himself is fathomable and not some illiterate incoherent cheap vulgar man like that creep from Bhopal YET I WAS FORCED to talk to him, they left me with no choice until I blocked him and he kept coming and harassing me, he was a perv and you know his story. Is that not FORCE? In fact it’s all UNFAIR it’s the other way round… I have dealt with married creepy ugly men touching me by taking advantage of the crowd on school trips - we feel molested and exploited we feel like killing ourselves, and when a girl gets rejected for no reason she didn’t even like got chance to probably get liked for her personality or other things (we put make more efforts than all those good looking fair rich girls hoping we’ll get chosen by someone or the other) but at the end we get rejected not only for love or CARE, (every girl’s fav word) but also for emotional, financial and physical security, we are deprived of that too. We can’t depend on our old parents when we are surrounded by so many pervs who are getting further encouraged by INTERNET. Now all the pseudo feminists will be like - “You can’t learn Judo Karate (some of us have certain illnesses and unfortunately the ones triggered by stress are skyrocketing amongst girls that too chronic destabilising ones like Lupus (systematic disorder) Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s syndrome, Neurasthénia which I got after fibro due to cov & 5th Mar stress ) They will say “You can’t learn kick boxing? Karate? Pork chop? Use pepper spray…?” At the risk of what? Incurring their wrath & getting acid thrown at our face? “You can’t ask for a raise?” They sometimes pay more to men cuz they are the sole bread winners in some families and at times single girls and boys BOTH are given a smaller paycheck. There are places where they do add more zeroes for men but even after bringing up that topic things haven’t changed for us… next “Why can’t you work during your pregnancy why take a maternity leave? You are a woman we are strong invincible we don’t need that, how old fashioned? Why take an epidural? Why Caesarean? Why can’t you juggle work life and kids both? Why have children? Too primitive? Why can’t you have kids? Too ambitious? (Well there are several other reasons) Why be a homemaker? Why become a working girl? Be modern we don’t work 9 to 5… Why can’t you just party, booze and smoke and then grow your own weed, sell it & become an entrepreneur… like a female Pablo Picasso… why can’t you? Is it only for men?” All these pseudo feminists will immediately ask these things, the moment you talk about being deprived of emotional, physical or financial security which is like the need of the hour right now for females they’ll start asking such nonsensical questions that you’ll feel like pulling a trigger in your mouth instead of answering them. But what I meant to say is that is what rejection is for us. We have no hope left and our future becomes uncertain and scary. Speaking of wanting to move somewhere abroad… I would’ve probably stayed back if I had someone here, you stay for people you love… I have no one to keep me here, they actually all want me to die they are waiting for that. No one cares about my life or me…

Considering everything that I had to hear… (my head is paining so please ignore all the errors/typos) and how people have behaved with me especially him and my mother, I don’t want that forcer chaser tag anymore so if you are ready to accept me only then you can approach or if you want be friends then I’m also cool with that but don’t be fickle like him, if you are not sure then either stay away or be honest… if you don’t want me but still want to be around and if you are okay with risking your integrity although I’m very good at keeping secrets then we can have a half open marriage like I had suggested earlier. I had written all this long ago…

Girls like me who are considered “untalkable” can only dream of a platonic relationship… in my dreams sometimes I have someone by my side holding my hand when I feel like I’m dying during those convulsions or tremors and violent jerking/twitching throughout my body, I get wheezing too and even my heart muscles go through that; having said that in real life it involves romantic feelings minus intimacy and it’s unimaginable to think that someone would like us, we can use the other house mates alternative which again considering how he has made me… ugly and all and how much my mother hates having me around, I feel it would be difficult for someone to put up with me in the same environment, she keeps praying for my death cuz she “cannot stand me” (just like the guy I loved the most) and ego would want to hang around? I always wanted to be with him, watch TV, shop together, put my arm around his neck, talk, do fun things like sharing those interesting or unbelievable bizarre stories (well I have a lot now) build our home, decorate it and spend our life together, now that life is gone along with 8-10 years of my youth, I could never be with him. When they create characters like us on screen they show us like psychos, one sided forcers, they do cover these things like watching tv or preparing breakfast but we are still shown as some creep who is forcing someone to be around & craving for their presence, fighting for their time and attention. They depict us like those psychos and we end up feeling more scared 😱 hence we never talk about this. Speaking of mutualism, well maximum of these stories start off as not only mutual but also with loads of attention from the opposite side, they lure you and then humiliate. Also, who would want to watch TV with me? I can crack jokes and make you laugh if you want to be House Mates, you won’t get bored and if you aren’t like my mother then you’ll even get used to my appearance and it won’t bother you after some time. Platonic is where you can watch movies or tv together, as house mates we can use the living area as a common room apart from that we will have our own space where we can stay separately, My head is paining a lot and I have a lot of fever so I’m gonna continue the funny story tomorrow…

Gn Zara Sauleh

Coincidences - www.lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid

My Dream Life 👇🏻

Just so you know… this is My Dream Life. This is what I want, a warm cosy home, sunsets by the lake, Amsterdam canals & rivers, round windows, quaint little shops, egrets & ducks, some puppies, warm amber lights, 90s vibes, freshly baked viennoiseries 🥐 and love + a little bit of tranquility. Credit for videos - | utrechtalive | & | elbgestoeber | (couldn’t tag cuz I’ve seen some bloggers asking ppl to take down their videos so didn’t want to tag them I have added their usernames)

[wanderingpages]

Chapter 6??? Already?????  Im gonna cry…but also i trust you peach…not to leave this on hiatus indefinitely ahem 🥰😛

“when it started as a tease, but he kept quiet after seeing the panic and distraught look on my face.” aww he eased up that day… i love the small tidbits we get from that day ngl its like a little puzzle fr

“Like I had wished back then, I wish now to open the car door and fling myself into oncoming traffic.” omg Jude, no!

I love that he just lets her fuck around and be nosy with his car like thats couple behaviour sir u better stop before i propose.

“One is shaped like a curved hardware nail, the other like a star with a pearl dangling from it. ” curved nail - girl he got cartier just layin in his car??? ( i got side tracked and tried to google the other earring bye i know that bitch not from target) wait omg 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 he said u like em? Keep em 😌😌😌😌 and she said bet

Aww jude said fuck the money - you literally lived this close to me for HOW long????? Noooo this is so sad like what if they really had met before asha and madoc???? Like whattttttttttt naurrrrrrrrrr i am so sad about this new set of information 

🙈🙈🙈 anyways damn whats up w asha treating cardan like glass or smthn feels fishy 😠👀 (Trust NO one ..Not even YOURSELF) god my skin has goosebumps like jude is really calling him dad and cardan really calling her mother and those two are really married and yall kids is finger poppin each other in diners like wow. I forgot this was tagged taboo lol u got me there peach… we love sinning and being sinners 👁️👄👁️

“If I think about it too much now, I’ll see the erratic behavior for what it is and maybe stuff Cardan has told me before, about how unfit his mother was, would start to make sense. But it was her way of coping, which is no worse than my scarred fingers or my willfully ignorant father.” — ohhh not her her just slipping in her madoc being a dick right here.

Goddamn  asha’s betty homemeaker getup grinds my gears i know shes hiding something!!! If cardan dont trust her neither do i !!!!!!!

Wait shut up peach not the three stuffies she had in the books awwwww i love all the easter eggs 🥰

Oh wow asha keeping cardans room like a shrine is insane considering this is the first time hes stepped foot in this house (hot girl math time ) one year since the wedding, one year of engagement and im just gonna assume one year of dating, so 3 years abd this si the first time mans is stepping foot in the house wow. Peach i think Asha might be delulu. 

GIRL NOT THE BIBLE IN THE DRAWER LMAO

Peach is it the same cross from the dressing room thats in their kitchen?? Peach… peach. lmao

Damn not cardan doing a jumpscare, sir it is 3 am (Im lying idk what time it is but for my own headcannon it is 3am)

“His thumb reaches towards me, and he swipes down the corner of my lips, rubbing away the smear of red and brown, making my knees feel weak because suddenly, I'm in that booth at the diner again and I want him to paint me as red as those cherries.” - stoppp peach…. Your writing…. Ugh

“I stick my middle finger up at his back, annoyed that he can switch his emotions around so easily, annoyed that he plays this game better than I do, annoyed that I had even given him the green light so many months ago, thinking I could best him somehow.” - omg i … TEA🤪

Omg i love her friendship with Vivienne bless her

“At the end of the day, Asha isn’t my mom, but she’s done more for me in three years than my real mom has done in five.” first, my hot girl math was right!!! Im so slay for that fr! But second TEA but i knew . cus i read between th e lines. I pick up what u put down. 😌😌

““Don’t ‘what’ me – the car ride, you dick,” Vivienne huffs and it’s funny, so I can’t help but giggle. “With Mr. Oh-no-step-bro-I’m-stuck-under-a-table,” She elaborates. “Dude… I can’t help but live vicariously through you right now – like are you guys fucking? In the same house your parents are fucking? That’s so gross,” She snorts, and I make a face.” I SCREAMED! ALSO JUDE UR A LIAR TO SAY NO ONE IS FUCKING ANYONE cus … YET OK YET

““Just be safe, ‘cus it’s going to be super weird when Jude Jr. pops out and you have to explain that her daddy is also her uncle.”” - so vivienne is my everything absolutely unconditionally 

Aww babygirls a runner shes a trackstar 🥰🥰 i also like this tidbit of character. Send that bitch to the olympics peach

Oh mentions of Fand…foreshadow? 

Jude being sad about her fingers 😔😔😔😔 baby….baby gurl….

“Therapy might help, but Dad is against it. I guess he doesn’t want to know what the root cause of it is – doesn’t want it said out loud, at least.” oh its on site madoc… ON SITE ACROSS EVERY UNIVERSE 

“Why had I put myself through torture to steer clear of him when I feel so at peace now next to him?” – girl we wondering the same things fr twins.

““Why is it that we live together now, and I see less of you? Are you avoiding me?”” – hes so blunt about everything involving her lmao its truly incredible

“”I am. Avoiding you. My heart beats faster around you. My palms get clammy and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. It hurts to breathe sometimes,” I explain my anxiety, twisting the joint to read the words, wondering if it says something profound. “Can’t mean anything good,” I mumble. “It’s like walking across a narrow bridge with nothing beneath to catch my fall.”” – I GOT THIS REFERENCe !! – “ “Are you scared of me, dear sister?” ” AHHHH

““I think you’re prettiest when you're honest.” Cardan reaches his hand to ruffle my hair. I try to bat it away, but his fingers dig in a little tighter, weaving through and under the bun I’ve haphazardly attempted earlier. He doesn’t really need to tilt my head to face him, I do it for him. If the stars are bright tonight, his eyes are even brighter. “I’m not avoiding you,” he tells me after a long while. “And you’re not, by the way,” he is so close to me now, that our breaths mingle and turn to fog between us, “Out of my system, I mean.” My eyes widened at the answer to my question that seemed like eons ago. He releases my hair and tweaks my nose almost affectionately. He takes the roll from my fingers, but I catch a few words where our fingers touch, morbidly reminding me of Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam.” – THIS IS SO GOOD EVERYTHING THE HAIR THE HONEST LINE THE FACE TILT THE STARS THE ANSWER THE CREATION OF ADAM!!!

Shut up omg she said you cant smoke bible pages and i had to reread the last two lines bc “Oh my god!” and him responding “Yeah, i guess so” is INSANE WHAT

BIG G???  - 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 hell. Thats were were headed.

Stop the nose kiss???? Freckle under the eye?? Putting the joint in her mouth the moment she breathes in lmao hes a whole clown and im the circus w how much i want him in me 🙈

““Something in Proverbs. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk… far… from your… lips.”/ “God, you’re sick,” I tell him. “Jesus, Cardan,” I manage; I feel unnerved and his lack of reaction makes me feel like I’m going crazy.” - peach i am actually going into cardiac arrest oh my god why are they so unserious 

“You’re a fucking menace,” I mutter. ” – she says wstill pulling him into her room girl u just as delulu ❤️❤️❤️

Also… hush,hush ref? : “id love to hear you scream.”/ “I dont scream” like so patch and nora coded fr 

Lol him being nosy in her room but her reaction being nervous while when she was in his car doing the same thing he was like so blase about it lmao the duality… beautiful. Also he totally just wanted to smell like her. Bet hes never washing that shirt now, weed scent and all 😌

Lol not jude comparing her fear of the exorcist to her anxiety around cardan and realizing her fear of the movie is UNPLEASANT as opposed to how she feels w her big step bro 🥺🤪

I love him playing with her hair yOUR HONOR HES IN LOVE also “I can have you screaming in other ways” SIR THIS IS A WENDYS (ur parents house!!!??)

Omg not her saying fuck off but the getting on top of him, judes so real for this

God not him being a lagged and high and groggy and just letting her have her way with him!!!

““What if,” I continue, softly, “I want to make you scream?”” BITCH ME!! IM SCREAMING ME ITS ME!!

““Look at you,” I say in a hushed tone as our fingers interlace. ” - SKIP THE APPLICATION INTERVIEW SWEET LIKE MARABU

““Look at my big brother,” I bite down on his earlobe, tugging the metal loop he’d left in tonight. “So needy…and …all… for… me.”” JUDE !!! MAAM!!! ….do continue😃

Lol not him being fixated on her not telling him that she missed him before lmao boy!!

You know dry humping shouldnt even be called dry humping if we out here getting WET

Oh my god peaccchhhh pls foreplay shouldnt be this hot im sweating (I am under three blankets)

NOOOO THAT WAS THE END???

Ok I lied THIS might be the longest ask 😭

lol no not a long hiatus, I do have a substantial amount written, I just am not in the mood to edit/rewrite these days 😔

lol other earring is Dior 🤭

Actually her rummaging through his car was so I could highlight the lighter and rolling paper so ur not toooo bamboozled when he’s smoking a joint on the roof 😭

U know my friend said the same thing about them living so close, I didn’t realize how heartbreaking that sentiment actually is 😭

Lmao not finger poppin 😭😭😭 but yes this is in fact a taboo fic 🤭

Anyways no that’s not the same cross 💀 yess those are the same stuffies lol, your hot girl math was totally right, viv is my fave too lol

Sending Jude to the Olympics is a completely different book now 😭

I wouldn’t call fand a foreshadow but more like a set up, so it doesn’t feel left field when she’s actually introduced

The creation of Adam was insane of me next to the Bible blunts 😭😭 I am going to burn in hell

Lmao not the circus bye

Yes!! Hush hush ref lmao you got all my references ❤️❤️❤️❤️

lol Jude comparing her actual fear w her preconceived fear is when it hit her sense ass fr

🎶give me a call if you ever get lonelyyyy ill be like one of your girls or your homies🎵 (i love troye and he fed the blue neighbourhood girlies with that)

Anyway yes thats it for now 😭 thank you for your commentary it really made my whole week lol

[tbmaybank]

Hi, I was wondering if you could write an imagine with Jj where the reader is Topper’s little sister and she’s friendly with everyone. (Rafe could have a crush on her or something if u want to spice it up a bit) Well, she is starting to date Jj ( with a little bit of help from John B and Sarah) and Topper and Rafe find out about their relationship at a party or at midsummer because they catch them almost doing the dirty. I hope this isn’t wierd and I hope you understand cause English is not my first language.

Here you go, doll! I hope you like it :)

Warnings: drinking, smoking, smut, and violence

Requests are open!

——————————————————————————

You sat at the dinner table, mindlessly pushing your food around on the plate, ignoring the on going conversations. You hated coming to the Cameron’s for dinner. Rafe was always making comments or trying to find excuses to be alone with you. You kind of felt bad pushing him away, you were once really close. He was your brother, Toppers, best friend, and at one point you had a huge crush on him. But now, with how much he’s changed lately, you couldn’t stand being around him. Plus, you were now secretly dating one of the boys he hated most, JJ Mayfield. All you wanted to do right now was to get through this dinner so you could sneak away to see him.

You hadn’t meant to fall for the Pogue boy, but after the infamous Sarah and Topper break up, you ended up seeing a lot of the group, as Sarah was more of a sister to you than a friend. After seeing how horribly everything went when everyone found out about John B and Sarah, you decided to do everything you could to keep your relationship a secret. As much as you hated having to hide the boy you loved, you had to admit it made everything more exciting.

A buzzing from your pocket pulled you out of your thoughts. You pull the phone out, seeing a text from JJ.

-Is Rafe behaving himself around my girl?

Smiling at his obvious jealousy, even though he would never admit that he’s jealous.

-More or less. Nothing too bad. I’d much rather be getting annoyed by you though ;)

-Oh don’t worry, I fully plan on being extra annoying tonight. Can’t wait to see you.

“Y/n, are you listening at all?” Your father asks. You quickly put your phone away, turning a little pink.

“I’m sorry, I got lost in my own head. What did I miss?” Adding a sweet smile, which always got you out of trouble with your dad.

He sighs as he says “I was saying your mother and I will be leaving with Ward and Rose tomorrow morning for a couple days. You are to listen to your brother while we’re gone, understand?” Internally you roll your eyes. I’m 17. I don’t need a babysitter you think to yourself. But nows not the time to argue, especially when this can give you an excuse to spend more time with JJ.

“Yes, dad. I understand.” Everyone was finished eating by this point, but you knew this meant you still had about another hour of after dinner drinks to sit thought. However, your parents were okay with you, Topper, and Rafe going to sit outside on the dock. Almost as soon as you guys sit down, your brother is pulling out a joint. He lights it, takes a hit, then passes it to you. You immediately start to pass it over to Rafe, on the other side of you. You didn’t like being high around your parents, so you never joined in these after dinner smoke sessions.

Rafe throws his arm around you, “come on y/n, have fun for once.” Trying to hand the joint back to you.

“I have plenty of fun all the time, I think I’ll survive being bored for an hour.” He rolls his eyes and takes a hit.

They start talking about throwing a party the next day at your house. “Are you actually gonna join us this time?” Rafe asks you, moving his hand to grab your hip.

“Sure, but only if I get to bring my friends.” You respond while moving his hand off of you.

“You mean those pogues? Hell no. Why are you even friends with them?” Topper says.

“They’re nice, plus if they come, Sarah will be there.” Knowing that the chance to talk to Sarah would make him agree.

“Fine. But you better tell them to not start shit.” Smiling, you hug your brother.

“ Thank you Topper!”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

———-

Later that night, you were finally on your way to see JJ. Sarah had picked you up down the street from your house after you snuck out your window. Sarah was the biggest help to you being able to hide JJ. She was always willing to give you rides to see him, or covering for you and saying you were with her.

Once you guys park the car, JJ is instantly at the car opening your door for you, pulling you straight into a deep kiss.

“You guys literally saw each other this morning.” Sarah says, laughing at his eagerness to kiss you.

“Yeah, but if y/n was your girl, you’d miss her this much too.” He says as you guys start walking to join the others.

Everyone’s in their own conversations when you walk up, and you and JJ sit on a log, his arms going around you. You all start talking while drinking beer, a couple blunts being passed around. This time, you happily took hits as they came to you. You tell everyone how there’s a party the next night at your house, and how you got Topper to agree to them coming as long as they promised not to start anything, making sure to shoot your boyfriend a look as you say the last part.

“When have I ever started anything with them?” JJ asks, prompting everyone to start listing examples of when he most definitely started problems with them. “Okay, okay fine,” he throws his hands up “I promise not to start anything, but if Rafe starts touching you I will-“

“You will do absolutely nothing and let me handle it so everyone there doesn’t find out about us.” You interrupt, giving him a quick kiss at the end. He finally agrees, but not without pouting.

————————————————

The next night, the party was in full blast. You sat in your room though, until you got the text from JJ that they were here. And when you did, you rush to meet them at the door, determined to keep them away from Topper, and more importantly, Rafe.

As the night progressed, you found it easy to keep everyone separated. Other than a few nasty looks exchanged, nothing bad happened. You and the Pogues stayed in a corner drinking and having a good time. After awhile, you were definitely drunk.

“Can we sneak away?” JJ whispers in your ear. Giggling, you nod. Carefully, making sure no one sees, you lead him up the stairs to your room. As soon as he closes the door, his lips are on yours. His hands on your hips, pulling you as close to him as you can get. He backs you up, til you softly hit the dresser. Without breaking the kiss, he lifts you up and sets you on the dresser, sneaking his hands under your shirt. You pull away to your shirt off.

“God you’re beautiful.” He whispers before attacking your neck with his lips, letting his rands roam your body. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer against you. You lift his shirt and yank it off him, and pull his lips to yours again. His hand going under your skirt to rub you through your panties. “You’re so wet for me, baby.” Moaning at the feeling of his hand, and his words, and whimpering when he pulls his hand away.

“JJ,” you pant breathlessly, “I need you. Please..” he smirks at your words before lifting you just enough to pull down your thong. His thumb returns to rubbing your center while he kisses your neck again, slowly moving to your chest before his fingers enter you, causing a gasp. His fingers thrusting, as he sucks at your nipples, makes moans fall out of you beyond control. You start to feel the warm feeling build up in your stomach, before the bedroom door swings open.

“Hey y/n, where’d you- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HER!?”

You guys quickly pull apart, you covering yourself with your arms as soon as you hear Rafes words.

“Rafe, get out!” You shout at him.

He ignores you, and goes straight for JJ, throwing a punch. You quickly throw your shirt on and start trying to pull them apart, which you knew was a useless effort. You instead ran downstairs to find Pope and John B. Your eyes scan the people in the party. The music covering the noise from the fight upstairs. Finally your eyes spot the boys your looking for. You run up to them, not even realizing your crying and try to say what’s happening, but the words won’t come out. All you can manage to say is “Rafe. Upstairs.” Luckily, they understand and run up. You follow behind and watch as they successfully get Rafe and JJ apart. Each still trying to get at each other, though.

“Don’t ever tucking touch my girl again!” Rafe shouts at JJ, but before he can respond you cut in.

“I’m not your girl, Rafe. Just because you have a crush on me, and try to act like my boyfriend, doesn’t mean you are. JJ is my boyfriend; not you.”

He looks between you and JJ for a minute, before smirking “so you’re a pogue slut now? I should have seen that coming.” JJ tries to go for him again at this comment, but Pope keeps him back.

At this point, Topper makes his way upstairs, noticing all of you missing. He walks in and sees Rafe and JJ being held back from each other, JJ still shirtless, in your room. He looks to JJ, and asks “were you fucking my sister?”

“Topper, Rafe, get out of my room.”

“Are you seriously with him, y/n?” Topper asks.

“Yes, Topper. I am.” You sigh.

“Get out.” He says.

“Topper, you can’t kick me out. Mom and dad would kill you.”

“No, they’re gonna be thankful when I tell them why. Now pack your shit and get out.”

You felt your eyes getting filled with tears. You knew it would be bad if he found out, but you didn’t expect him to look at you with such hatred. “Topper..”you say quietly, walking towards him.

“No, y/n. It’s them or us. And you need to choose right now.” The tears falling fully now. No body in the room dares to say anything or move, all watching you two, waiting to hear your answer. Suddenly anger rises back up in you, before you turn away from him, snatching up your old book bag, and stuffing as much as you can from your dresser in it, and walking out without a word to any of them. Your plan was to go wait by John Bs van, but then realize it was pretty bold of you to assume he would be okay with you coming back to his place tonight. So, here you were, aimlessly walking down the street. You walked like you had purpose, a goal in mind, but really you had no idea where you were going. You hear footsteps running up to from behind, and suddenly your arm is grabbed and your spun the other direction. You were about to scream, before you saw JJ standing there.

“I’ve been shouting for you,” he says out of breath, “didn’t you hear me?” You honestly didn’t, your head full of so many thoughts at this time. Looking into his blue eyes, seeing the cuts and bruises from Rafe, you feel the anger melt away, and instead all the other emotions hit you, and you just start sobbing. He pulls you close to him, “baby, y/n, it’s gonna be okay, okay? You can come stay with us, if you want?” You just nod against his chest, unable to stop crying enough to actually talk. He starts leading you towards John Bs van, continuing to tell you how it’s gonna be okay, and you guys will figure everything out together.

When you reach the van, Kie and Sarah rush to hug you. “I think this officially means your a pogue.” Kie says while hugging you, getting a small, but sniffly, giggle out of you.

“I’m sorry guys, I should have known this wasn’t gonna go well.” You say, trying to wipe away tears with the back of your hand.

“Hey,” John B says while lightly grabbing your shoulders and looking into your eyes, “it’s not your fault. At all. Rafe is a psychopath.” Nodding; you thank him.

You all pile into the van, riding in silence back to John Bs house. JJs arm around you as you try to clean his wounds in the bouncing van. You guys finally arrive, and climb out. JJ dramatically holding his arms towards the house, “Welcome Home, y/n!” He says smiling.

Home. You liked the sound of that.

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

[headheartbellarke]

I Wish You Would | CHARLIE GILLESPIE

Requested by anon: “hello🌼 could u please write a charlie x reader imagine when he posts a picture on his instagram story with a girl to makes his crush jealous, but she end up distancing herself from him bc she's hurt and respect what she thinks is his relationship” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 2,445 WARNING(s): angst w a happy ending, some language SUMMARY: “I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live."

A/N: hi, everyone!! really, really sorry that this took so long. haven’t had the best march tbh, and writer’s block is a bitch. && this isn’t very good, either, but i had to get something done. love u <3

TEN HOURS EARLIER

“And… post!” Charlie taps his phone, grinning brightly.

Owen cheers from behind him, his voice meshing into the humdrum of the bar they’re currently at. “I’m so proud of you!”

His friend laughs, spinning around in the bar stool to face him. “She’ll finally understand what it feels like!”

Owen nods frantically, taking another sip of the drink in his hand.

Charlie copies his movement – a part of him knows that he is absolutely hammered, but the bigger part of him doesn’t care. He’s had a long day, and he deserves this.

Besides, how else would he and his best friend have thought of this wonderful plan if they didn’t have a billion drinks in their system?

PRESENT

A knock on the door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. “Come in!” She yells, but her voice comes out feeble and hoarse, probably from all the crying she’s been doing for the past hour.

As the door swings open, her best friend, Savannah, pokes her head in. “Hey, babe. You all right?”

Y/N sniffs. “M’fine.”

Savannah enters the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walks to the window, opening the curtains, and Y/N groans when light floods into the previously dark room.

She sits on the bed beside Y/N, and Y/N rests her head on her shoulder as she pulls the covers up to cover their bodies.

“I’m sure that they’re not dating.” Savannah says, wrapping an arm around her best friend.

Y/N chuckles sadly. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Sav. I mean, in the photo, he was kissing her cheek. Literally. And he put a heart between them.”

Savannah sighs. “That’s so not Charlie, you know… kissing random girls in bars and posting pictures with them.”

“Yeah, that’s so not Charlie, because she’s not a random girl. Her name’s Francesca and she went to high school with him, so, technically, she’s known him longer, and probably better than me.”

“I – I had no idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Y/N, babe, just tell him about how you feel. I’m sure that he likes you too.”

“If he liked me, then he wouldn’t be kissing Francesca!”

Y/N exhales, as Savannah gulps, not knowing what to respond. “Y/N, I – I swear, he’s crazy about you. I don’t know what happened between last Friday and today, but I swear – the Charlie that I know – has eyes for no one but you.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart at Savannah’s words. “Savannah, we kissed and then he ghosted me for a day and now he’s posting pictures of him kissing another girl! I think he has eyes for everyone!”

Savannah bites her lower lip, not knowing what to respond, again. Her best friend feels tears prick at the back of her eyes when she says, “Maybe I’m a bad kisser.”

Savannah’s eyes widen, and she sits up, straight. “No. No. Babe, no. Don’t say that, ever. You’re a great kisser, okay! You’re an amazing kisser. Your lips are fine as hell, believe me. He’s the one with crusty ass lips. They’re not even lips, they look like… like… peanuts.”

Y/N stares at her best friend for a moment, before saying, “Peanuts, Sav? Really?”

“It’s the first thing that came into my mind!” She says defensively, before the girls break into a fit of laughter.

“I’m never talking to him again, ever.” Y/N says after they’ve calmed down. “I’m never even gonna look in his direction. Fucking asshole.”

*

Charlie sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. It’s eight in the morning, and he’s normally a morning person – he loves the mornings, the peace, the quiet, and the feeling that comes along with it more than anything, but right now, he just feels… sad.

On regular days, he would be talking to his best friend, Y/N, about everything that’s on his mind. But today’s different.

Last Friday, Y/N kissed him, and long story sort, it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. After work that day, they went to get some food at a drive through, like they usually do. All throughout the ride, they made plans to go hiking once the production for season two finishes. She drove the car to a lookout, and oh, god, it was so pretty. The midnight sky was littered with stars, and since they were at the edge of town, there was less pollution, and they could see bits of the galaxy, too.

But, for some reason, the girl next to him seemed more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen, and after they finished eating, he just sat and stared at her talk about the last book that she’d read, for a while. He knows that it was terrible that he wasn’t listening – but how could he pay attention to anything when she looked like that, especially with passion illuminating her face like times square on New Year’s Eve?

She had looked at him as if he’d just grown a third head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Li – like what?” He’d asked, embarrassed to be blatantly caught.

“Like that…” She’d said and kissed him, and it felt like he was seeing colour for the first time. Although, the next day, everything turned to shit.

Now, it’s Monday, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He desperately wants to know if his and Owen’s plan actually worked (no reason that it wouldn’t), and he feels so impatient right now, and he misses her. Also, his massive hangover isn’t helping, either.

He hears his name being called, and sees Kenny smiling at him.

“Hey, so we’re gonna do a different scene today, since Y/N and Savannah are out, is that okay with you?”

His heart races. “What happened to them?”

“Y/N’s sick, and Savannah’s taking care of her.”

“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay with me.” He says, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

*

“This is the last time I’m asking you this…” Y/N sings, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Put my name at the top of your list!” Savannah sings, using Y/N’s straightener as a mic.

“This is the last time I’m asking you why!” Madison joins.

“You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye!” Jadah sings, jumping on the bed.

As the second verse comes on, the girls sit on Y/N’s bed, huddled close to each other.

“You know, I’m feeling better now than I did when I woke up.” Y/N says, resting her chin on her knees.

“Taylor Swift can fix anything.” Madison says, leaning her head on Y/N’s shoulder.

She nods. “And y’all. Thanks for being here.”

Jadah grins, wrapping an arm around her. “We couldn’t let you have a pity party all alone!”

Savannah laughs. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear.”

“As relieving as that would be, don’t. I’ve decided what I should do.”

Madison quirks a brow. “You’re gonna kill him yourself?”

“Madi! No. I’m gonna distance myself.”

Savannah tilts her head. “I think that maybe you two should talk it out.”

“I don’t think so. I need space, time to figure it out. My head feels like a mess. And I respect him and Francesca, and I’m not gonna dip my toes between them.”

The other girls solemnly nod their head.

“You do realize that that’s not actually the saying?” Jadah says, after a while.

“Don’t embarrass me, kid.”

*

Charlie exhales, watching his breath crystallize to tiny ice particles in front of him. Even though, he’s a Canadian, he still feels cold. Although maybe it’s not due to the weather, but due to the coldness in Y/N’s eyes.

He watches her chat with Jeremy a few feet away, both of them discussing something that is out of bounds to him. He knows that it’s probably decisions regarding their characters, considering Y/N’s character is Jeremy’s character, Reggie’s love interest, but a part of him feels like it’s shit about him.

He has no reason to feel that way, of course. He hasn’t spoken to Y/N in four days, and this morning, when he saw her after for what feels to be eternity, he was blatantly ignored. He had only watched helplessly as Y/N exited the room the moment he entered and had sunk into his chair feeling like absolute shit, especially with everyone’s pitiful stares.

Charlie’s mind keeps replaying each moment, torturing over every tiny detail, wondering what he did wrong.

And that’s when it hits him: she really doesn’t want him anymore.

Last Saturday, he had hopelessly watched her with her long-term boyfriend of god-knows-how-long – he had come to surprise her on set, and it was Charlie that was more surprised. Because he thought that they were over, for good. And it wasn’t like they seemed like they weren’t dating. They were acting just like they used to when they were dating, and he was too close to her for his comfort. They still laughed the same, joked around the same, and were just as inseparable as they used to be.

A question kept rising in Charlie’s mind, like an icicle to his heart: why would she kiss him when she already had someone else? Why would she give him hope, and then take it all away? Why would she dangle his hurt in front of him?

So, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, and posted a picture with Francesca, his high school friend, who he had run into that night.

Owen sinks into the chair beside Charlie. “You okay?”

“I’m starting to believe that our plan didn’t work.”

*

“Hey, uh, Y/N?”

The girl in question hears Charlie’s voice, and turns around, avoiding looking into his eyes.

“Can we talk?” He says, and for a moment, her defences are down again. He looks so… tired, almost like he’s going through the same things that she is. Almost like there’s an explanation as to why he broke her heart, why he ruined something that had the potential to be extraordinary, why he made her feel so bad about herself.

And she almost believes it, too. Like the fool she is.

She presses her lips into a thin line, and says, “Nothing to talk about.”

As Charlie opens his mouth to protest, she smiles and walks away.

*

“Okay, Charlie, you two need to talk it out. This is too much. Both of you are obviously hurting, and there’s obviously some serious miscommunication here.”

Charlie shakes his head at Savannah’s words. “She hates me.”

“No. She could never hate you.” She says, thrusting her phone in Charlie’s face. His eyes squint to read the text on the screen – from Y/N.

Sorry – forgot to leave a note. Drove down to Dad’s, gonna stay here for a while. It’s too painful – honestly, you know what? I’m still very, very, very mad at him. But I’m also missing him very, very, very much. So, I need to flush it out. Flush him out. He might be a jerk, but he’s still one of the best people that I’ve ever met. Love you, okay? Will return when the time is right.

Charlie’s eyes widen, and he stares at Savannah’s face for a while. “There – there is still hope!”

She nods frantically. “You should call her –”

“I’m gonna drive down to her dad’s house, too!”

“That works, too.”

*

A frantic knock on the front door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. She stops typing on her keyboard, and flips the lid shut, keeping it on the dining table in front of her.

She runs to her dad’s door, knowing that it’s him, back from his shopping. She opens the door, saying, “Let me take those for – Charlie?!”

Y/N’s heart swells at his sight as he grins sheepishly.

“So, there’s been some misunderstandings… can I come in?” He asks, and Y/N pauses, considering.

He sighs, and adds, “Please?”

She stares at him.

He juts his bottom lip out. “Pretty please?”

“Fine, come in.”

He closes the door behind him, wordlessly following Y/N, who feels like she might hurl right now. They sit on the couch, and it’s really, really awkward for a few seconds.

Y/N sighs. “You said you –”

“Yes. Yes, yeah. OK, so – I, uh, I –”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Why would you do that to me? Do I really mean that little to you?”

“I could say the same about you!”

“Really?”

“Yes! I saw you with Shahid that day, I know that you two are back together –”

“Shahid?!”

“Yes!”

She stares at him, baffled.

“So…so… Francesca….”

“I only posted the picture to make you jealous! She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and the rest of my high school friends, and of course I went, and she saw that I was being a little… unsocial. So, I told her about how the girl that I’m completely crazy about has a boyfriend! And a long term one at that, too! And then Owen came up with a brilliant plan, and I guess you know what it was. Now, I’m realizing that it might not have worked.”

She stares at him for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. Charlie throws her a confused look.

“You – you thought that Shahid – Shahid, my best friend since we were in nappies, Shahid who is married to this amazing man, and at whose wedding I was the maid of honour – you thought that I was dating him?”

“He’s gay?!”

“Bisexual. Oh my god, I have to tell him. This is hilarious.”

Charlie bites the corner of his lower lip, feeling his cheeks heat up. “This is really embarrassing. But you two act like you’re dating!”

“No, we don’t. You’re just being insecure and jealous. I’ve known him forever, and yes, I am the most comfortable around him. Because he’s my family. He’s my brother. Oh, god, I can’t believe that you were jealous of him – wait, have you thought that we were dating this whole time?”

“Kind of. I thought you guys broke up when he didn’t visit you on set during the first two months of production.”

“He was helping feed kids in Somali.”

“Oh. Oh. God, I feel so –”

“Dumb? That’s because you are.”

He grins sheepishly, his cheeks crimson.

Y/N smiles. “But I forgive you. And I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a proper date this time.”

“Deal. Also, promise that we’ll always talk it out before… you know… doing anything?”

She laughs, and nods. He wraps his pinkie finger around hers.

“Well, Owen’s plan did kind of work, though.”

[plant-flwrs]

hi! could you do a draco x reader imagine where it’s enemies to lovers and one night at a party draco gets drunk and confesses his feelings?

drunk // draco malfoy

masterlist!

a/n: i literally had an idea exactly like this n my drafts omg but it was smut :0 wut r the odds. n e way, hope u like it, thanks for the request anon!!

summary: You and Draco are enemies until one drunken night leads to a confession of secret feelings.

(4.4k)

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It was no secret that the Slytherin house was plagued by Draco Malfoy. The house was split; people who went along with Malfoy’s bullying and those who hated the boy. You were proud to say you definitely did not get along with Draco.

Over the many years of mutual torment between the two of you, you had both improved on your ways you made the other’s life a living hell.

This week, you had decided to casually mention to Ron that in his sleep, Draco sucked his thumb. You had no idea if this was true, of course, but you knew Ron would tell everyone he knew. 

In retort, Draco had been stealing any of your school work you left out in the common room. He would return it a few days later with all your work erased. 

This was typical. It would have been unusual if you didn’t have the added stress Draco gave you.

The worst part was the classes you shared. You shared a fair amount of them, being in the same house and finding a lot of your courses to be the same. The both of you were fairly smart, proving to be good competition. 

Charms was your least favorite. You had an awful memory, and when you had to remember the physical movements with the vocal spell, you struggled miserably. Draco did fine in Charms, which made it even worse.

Today was particularly difficult, having to memorize at least ten spells, each with different movements and verbal aspects. You sulked out of the room, loosening your green tie in frustration.

“Finding Charms a little hard today?” Draco mocked, raising his voice so it mimicked that of a baby’s.

“Not as hard as that Transfiguration test was for you last week. How much like a tea pot did your poor little mouse look like? I seem to recall it still had its tail,” you retorted, feeling better already about Charms as you looked at Draco’s sour expression.

“So what? What good will a mouse teapot do me? At least I can cast a gouging charm without nearly killing half the class,” Draco shot back, taking an intimidating step closer to you.

The two of you stood off in the middle of the hallway. This often happened after Charms, for it was the last class of the day and neither of you had anything better to do than shout at each other.

You rolled your eyes at the boy and crossed your arms over your chest.

“I didn’t even come close to killing anyone, Draco. Your such a drama queen,” you teased him, enjoying the flush on his cheeks. 

“Oh shut up,” he managed to still sound fierce, even with the pink hint on his face.

“Gonna cry about it?” you teased further, hoping to rile him up more.

He squinted his eyes at you and gave you one last critical look. He lifted his lip in a sneer and stalked off, Goyle and Crabbe following after him.

That was how you and Draco interacted. You would tease him, press his buttons, and he would get incredibly angry. It either ended with his storming off, or him saying something hurtful enough that actually made you sink to his level. He didn’t do it very frequently, because usually it resulted in him having a bruised eye for a few weeks.

You were happy to stand up to Draco, because not many other people did it. He was often too favored by Snape to ever get too badly hurt by Harry, and everyone else was too scared of him. Snape didn’t often interfere with the interactions between you and Draco, and you assumed he simply did not care.

You left Charms for the day feeling significantly more confident than when you had entered. You failed miserably at the assignments, and that upset you, but your little victory over Draco made up for it. You walked with Pansy to the Black Lake, books clutched tight to your chest as shields against the cold air nipping your skin. Your scarf clung to your neck and did its best to defend your vulnerable lips.

“You really can’t go?” you asked again, adding a slight whine to your voice.

“I can’t,” Pansy replied regretfully, “I’ve got loads of work to do, and my mum’s been on me about it recently.”

Pansy had fallen behind in more than a few of her courses. You supposed you could blame yourself a little, but didn’t like to think that hard about it. You and Pansy had been fast and loose recently, attending almost any and every party you could find, and spending a little more money than usual on certain substances. You justified it, though, thinking you’d be spending just as much at Hogsmeade every weekend.

“It won’t be any fun without you, though,” you said, still hoping she would change her mind.

“You’ll have Daphne,” Pansy said teasingly, “give her enough firewhisky and she’s a hoot.”

You giggled with Pansy, thinking back to the last time Daphne got drunk at a party. She had climbed on almost every elevated surface to dance, and when she ran out of tables to stand on, she had tried walking on the heads of the nearest first years.  

“Can I help you on some of your work? Get it out of the way?” you offered, practically desperate at this point.

“Would you? That might actually work,” Pansy exclaimed, rushing to the nearest tree to sit against with her school things.

You trailed after her, sitting next to her and pulling out some of your quills. You looked dutifully at Pansy’s Ancient Runes work, starting to write in your best attempt at your best friend’s handwriting. 

You knew there was an ulterior motive in wanting Pansy at the party, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. She was usually the only person who could effectively stop you from drunkenly interacting with Draco. She was the only one who could keep you two separate. As much as you hated Draco, something in your drunk subconscious always made you drawn to him. You needed her at that party.

Pansy stole a glance from her Potions work, looking at you. She smiled thankfully, tucking her short hair behind her ear and returning to her work.

The two of your worked silently for as long as you could, but the sun was against you. It crept away, hiding behind trees and clouds. The two of you began to collect Pansy’s scattered books in the dusk, some faint and lingering sunlight peaking through trees branches lighting the ground. You pulled your robes closer to you, feeling the air get colder as the sun was no longer there to warm you. You and Pansy struggled back to the castle, avoiding stray tree roots carefully. 

The both of you heard leaves crunching from a few feet away. You ignored it, figuring it was just some other students making their way up to the castle for dinner, too. The light was fading more and more, and you and Pansy were just about to clamber out of the heavily forested area when something hard knocked into your shoulder from behind. Draco had come from the left of you, walking past you and throwing his shoulder into yours. You stumbled forwards, but Pansy’s vigilant hand was quick to steady you before you could fall forwards.

“Merlin!” you said out of surprise, before you realized who it was.

His hair looked white in the moonlight that now illuminated the field. The bottom half of his face was shadowed by a tree, but you could tell by the glint in his eyes that he was smirking. You rolled your eyes, feeling your feet firmly planted on the ground again, and began walking past Draco with Pansy’s arm looped in yours.

“Scare ya?” Draco snarled, taking a few long strides to walk in pace with you and Pansy.

“The only thing about you that scares me, Draco, is your nasty breath,” you said, pretending to sound sweet.

Draco scoffed, and you made a disgusted face, pretending to smell his breath from the few feet you were away from him.

“Honestly Draco,” Pansy said from beside you, struggling to hide her smile but going along with your joke and lifting her hand to cover her nose, “you’d think some of your daddy’s money would go towards toothpaste.”

You laughed earnestly, looking to Draco so you wouldn’t miss the offended face you knew he always made. He wasn’t doing it though, his brows weren’t furrowed and his lips weren’t curled. He looked off. His eyes narrowed but his lips were spread into some sort of crooked grin.

You narrowed your eyes back at him in suspicion, which he noticed. He quickly snapped out of whatever he was in, and his usual sneer was directed towards you and Pansy as he sulked off to the castle.

You and Pansy sat at the Slytherin table in your usual spots. Draco was a few people away from the both of you, as he usually was, but you both ignored him. It was easy to do, especially recently. Blaise had taken a peculiar interest in Pansy, and wherever Blaise went followed his friend Klein. 

Blaise was busy fawning over Pansy, watching her with a dazed look as she brushed her hair from her face. Klein kept his eyes locked on you, something you did not mind.

The boy was a year ahead of you, and he was the interest of just about every Slytherin girl. His green eyes were piercing, especially against the black hair that fell onto his forehead. He always kept his tie remarkably straight, and you often found yourself twirling it in your fingers to tease him. 

Tonight, he and Blaise walked with you and Pansy around the grounds before curfew. 

“Are you going to the party on Saturday?” Blaise asked Pansy, bringing his arm up to wrap around her shoulders.

“I don’t know yet,” she said, and upon seeing your pitiful face she continued, “I’ll try, but no guarantees.”  

“Are you going?” Klein asked you, pulling a hand from his pocket to adjust his green tie.

“Of course,” you smirked, “I would never miss a party.”

Klein stared at you for a moment longer, and aware of his gaze, you bit your lip. You liked to mess with him, he was always so uptight and serious, it was fun to see him unwind just at your little actions.

You and Pansy said goodnight to the boys as you went to the girls dorms. 

The next day was odd, for as you came down the stairs to the common room, you saw Draco. It was not odd to see Draco in the common room, but it was odd for him to not immediately find you in a room and insult you. Instead, he merely locked his eyes with yours and stared at you. When you crinkled your face in confusion, he looked away, turning his attention back down to the book perched in his lap.

“Ready for breakfast?” Pansy asked, coming from behind you on the stairs.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, still looking at Draco as you followed her out of the common room.

In Potions, Draco didn’t torment you. In Transfiguration, he only stared at you, no sneer or grimace present. Most strangely, in Charms, he didn’t even bat an eye when your wand movement was off and your spell rebounded and hit Hannah Abbot. 

You apologized to Hannah profusely, even offering to walk her to the infirmary as her hand began to swell two times its normal size. She blushed, obviously embarrassed by the affliction, but insisted she could go by herself. She made sure you knew she forgave you, smiling politely as you followed her to the door and watched her go down the hallway. You shouted one last apology at her as she turned the corner, and she lifted her swelled hand in a friendly wave. 

Draco watched the entire interaction from his seat, his eyes following you as you held Hannah’s large hand in yours to look at the damage you caused. He looked at the guilty expression on your face, the red tint in your cheeks. He felt two things bubbling in his stomach: adoration and rage. He felt adoration, as he had been feeling for you for a while, and felt rage because he felt this way.

He swallowed hard as your eyes met his. In your flustered and guilty state, you shot him an annoyed look. He widened his eyes, embarrassed to be caught staring, and plunged his face downward to look back into his Charms textbook.

Draco had been weird lately, you noticed. For it was the third day, Friday by now, of no loud arguments in the hall, no insults in the common room, and not even a stray dinner roll being launched at your head during dinner (yes, he did that often). You and Pansy, however, were too busy doing her late work to do anything about Draco. She really was behind, and it was hard for you to do her late work as you had new assignments to do yourself. Pansy found a similar difficulty, leading you both to spend your Friday night poured over textbooks in the common room.

“Hard at work, girls?” you and Pansy looked up to see Blaise and Klein.

They fell into the couch across form you where you sat at a wooden desk against the wall. You had pulled two large armchairs to the table, the leather giving you some sort of relief as you bent over the work. Klein’s long arms stretch the length of the two person couch, and his stalky fingers tapped against it. Blaise leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at Pansy. Klein eyed you hungrily, obviously enjoying the sight of your tie undone and your skirt riding up as you sat with your legs tucked beneath you.

Normally, you and Pansy would have engaged the boys, entertained yourselves with their mindless presence, but you had real things to do. Blaise and Klein may have been handsome, but they definitely weren’t the company you wanted right now.

“Hello Blaise,” Pansy mumbled tiredly, not looking up from the Transfiguration essay she was about to finish, “how’re you?”

“I’m alright,” he said airily, leaning back into the couch and taking Pansy’s simple question as an invitation to stay and talk.

You fought the urge to groan, not looking up form the Arithmancy problems you scrawled over and over. 

“How about we sneak to the kitchens tonight?” Klein suggested, and you heard the smirk in his voice without having to look at him.

“We’re busy,” you said curtly, clenching your jaw as you came across a difficult set of numbers.

Pansy looked up at you from her paper, flashing you a warning look. You rolled your eyes, giving her an exasperated look. She raised her eyebrows, her face becoming stern. You sighed, releasing the tight grip on your quill.

“I’m sorry boys,” you forced your sweetest voice, “we’ve got loads of homework to do before the party tomorrow. Another time?”

Blaise looked disappointed, but accepting. Klein stood to his full height, and your eyes followed him as he grew. He looked down at you with a playful smirk, licking his lips.

“Of course. We’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded and Pansy waved kindly to Blaise. You decided then that you were no longer interested in Klein. He had been fun when he got flustered just from a glance, but now he was becoming like every other teenage boy. His smirks made you want to gag, and his lingering looks were creepy. You figured you’d tell him tomorrow night, if you still cared that much by then. 

You and Pansy continued to work until Pansy slouched back in her chair and groaned loudly.

“I can’t get it done tonight. I’ll have to work on it tomorrow,” she pouted, but looked resolute.

You didn’t bother to attempt another guilt trip, or convince her otherwise. Pansy’s mind was made up. You had to go to this party alone. Pansy wouldn’t let you stay in the dorm all night with her, either, so it’s not like you even had a choice. At least Klein wouldn’t bother you. He seemed to only have the guts to come up to you if Blaise did too, and he wouldn’t come up to you if you weren’t with Pansy. Now all you had to do was make sure not to get roped into an argument with Draco. You had to be the bigger person for one night and make sure you wouldn’t do anything you’d regret in the morning.

Pansy was right, she couldn’t get all her work done that night. She sat on her bed with books sprawled around her. You looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing your hands over the clothe hugging your body. You looked good, you felt good.

“You’re going to be fine,” Pansy reassured you for the tenth time as you sat at the end of her bed, “you can go to parties without me.”

“Okay, but if I come back here tonight having lost a shoe or something, it’s your fault,” you joked, smiling as Pansy laughed.

You, Daphne, and Millicent stayed in your dorm for a little while longer. You moved some clothes around in your trunk, lifting a hidden compartment at the bottom. You retrieved two bottles of firewhisky, handing them to Daphne and Millicent. You closed your trunk, meeting the impressed expressions of the girls. Usually Fred and George Weasley provided alcohol for the school, known for their impressive parties. You and Pansy, however, had your own supply you liked to keep for rainy days. While this wasn’t a rainy day, you couldn’t help the need for a little liquid courage as you had to go to your first party without your best friend. You took the bottle from Millicent and Pansy giggled as she looked up from her Ancient Rune dictionary to watch you take a large swig of the drink.

You felt it burn as it traveled down your throat, and it spread through your body like a warm blanket. You handed the bottle back to Millicent, and the three of you finished off an entire bottle. You didn’t want to go downstairs until you heard the music become loud enough, and by the time you were putting the empty bottle back in your trunk, the party roared downstairs. 

The three of you said goodbye to Pansy and went to the common room. The music became louder and louder as you got closer to the party. Soon, Daphne was dragging you and Millicent to a large table with assorted drinks. You watched a boy on the other side of the table pouring himself a heavy amount of a clear liquid. He met your eyes and handed you the bottle. You looked at the label but all that was there was a cartoon drawing of a witch with bubbles spouting from her mouth. You raised your eyebrow at the boy, and he smiled, taking a sip of his drink. You filled your own cup with the liquid, drinking it quickly. It burned more than the firewhisky did, but it was still enjoyable.

You felt your head feel lighter as Daphne clasped onto your hand to pull you out to the dance floor. You danced with her, and as you moved your cup slid from your hand. You and Daphne looked at it for a moment, the cup spilled over as a wet spot formed on the carpet. You looked back up at each other and fell into a fit of giggles. 

You continued to dance, looking around the crowd with ease. You felt like someone was staring at you, but you couldn’t find anyone in particular. The music and alcohol coursed through your veins. You felt lighter than you had in months, no worrying thoughts of homework or boys, or even Draco Malfoy.

The second you thought about how you weren’t thinking about Malfoy, you were immediately thinking about him. Part of you missed the hateful sparks between you, the natural narrow of your eyes at the sight of him. 

Your body tensed involuntarily, and your drunk subconscious was already hoping to see his blond hair in the crowd. You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking of what to say so Draco’s stern face would devolve into a furious expression. 

You slowed next to Daphne, a wicked look overtaking your dazed face.

“What is it?” Daphne shouted into your ear, pulling you closer by your arm.

“I’ve got to go find someone,” you shouted back, “I’ll be back in a second.”

You were moving through the crowd before Daphne could reach out and stop you. A small voice in the back of your head sounded a bit like Pansy, her familiars warnings from the last party you were at with Draco. She had found you as you were just about to pour your drink down his front, and her soothing words floated into your drunken mind like good-natured clouds.

“He’s not worth it, honestly. All the stress he causes you is going to give you wrinkles, you don’t want wrinkles. Leave him be,” Pansy was right then and she would have been right again. Alas, Pansy was not here and her words did not echo loud enough in your head as you finally found the blond.

He was draped across a leather couch. His legs dangled off the arm as his head was perched on a pile of blankets. At the floor, Crabbe and Goyle hunched over, goblets clutched loosely in their seemingly unconscious hands. Draco’s eyes were closed, his long eyelashes delicately hovering over his pink flushed cheeks. His hair was pushed off his forehead, falling in handsome tufts onto the blankets under him. You stood there for a moment, interchanging which leg to rest your weight on.

“Are you going to say something,” Draco suddenly drawled, barely loud enough to be heard over the music, “or are you content to sit in silence for once?”

You scoffed, taking a breath that made your chest rise. You walked towards him, curling your warm fingers around his legs and flinging them off the arm of the couch. His body twisted and his eyes opened at the touch. You sat next to him, at least a foot between the both of you.

“What do you want?” he asked, leaning over to take Crabbe and Goyle’s full goblets from them. He handed you Goyle’s as he drank from Crabbe’s.

“Just wanted to see if you had done anything embarrassing that I could tell the whole school about tomorrow,” you lied, taking a considerable sip from the goblet.

Draco scoffs next to you, “Not yet, darling.”

You gave Draco a glance. He seemed distressed about something. The way he cradled the goblet in his hands and drank with an urgency was the way someone drinks when their upset.

“What’s got your panties all tied up, Draco?” you asked teasingly, leaning in his direction slightly.

Draco looked at your lidded eyes, the natural smirk on your pretty lips, the outfit you wore that you looked absolutely amazing in; he couldn’t feel any rage as he looked at you that night.

“You,” he said softly, staying stiffly straight but turning his head to face you.

You felt your cheeks warm, looking at him with a curious smirk.

“Really?” you indulged, wondering what else Draco may drunkenly confess. His words weren’t slurring like yours, but the faint pink flush on his cheeks and his unseemly kindness told you he was not sober.

He nodded silently, looking down at the goblet in his lap.

“Draco,” you said, turning to rest your back against the arm of the couch as your legs spread on the cushions. Your feet were inches from touching Draco’s thighs, and he tensed as he looked at the lack of space, “You’ve been acting odd with me recently.”

Draco, if possible, tensed even more at your statement. He was not nearly as drunk as you thought he was, or as you were.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he stuttered, biting his bottom lip. This was the first time you had ever seen Draco Malfoy seem flustered. 

“Draco?” you slurred, not speaking again until he turned his face to yours.

You moved forward, bending your legs so you still didn’t touch him, but so your face was close to his.

“Do you fancy me?” you drawled, intrigued. 

Draco’s previously tense and stiff stature seemed to relax, as if a secret was released that he had been bottling up. He brought his goblet to his lips slowly, and you did the same, the both of you finishing off what Crabbe and Goyle had been drinking. 

“If I’m going to be honest-” Draco had turned his head to you and began speaking, but you weren’t listening. His lips looked so soft and his eyes looked so kind, you couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him.

He was surprised at first, unmoving against your lips. You smiled, still against him, and it seemed to make him realize what was happening. Within seconds, one of his hands was on your waist as the other was on your cheek. You sighed into the kiss, tasting a cinnamon flavored alcohol on his tongue as he slid it into your mouth. Your brought your hands to his neck, unable to stop yourself from playing with his hair. You ran your fingernails across his scalp and down to the nape of his neck, smiling again as he moaned into your lips.

You pulled away when it felt like your lungs needed air, which they did, and kept your eyes closed. Your shoulder fell into the side of the couch, your forehead resting on Draco’s shoulder. 

You felt yourself drifting off into a drunken sleep, your body feeling heavy as it slumped into Draco’s.

“I really like you, Y/n. I really do,” Draco confessed from beside you, stroking your hair, “I think you’re the most clever person I’ve ever met.”

You felt your heart swoon at his confession, wondering if he said it because he thought you were already asleep, or if the alcohol was affecting him as much as you. You shifted, bringing your legs to fall into his lap, to which Draco wrapped his slender fingers around your thigh and pulled your closer to his body.

“I hope you’re not too drunk to remember this,” he mumbled, his own eyes fluttering shut as the both of you fell asleep. 

[writingoneshots]

Hey uhm first of all I just wanna say, your fics are really good!😭❤ secondly, I appreciate the amount of effort you put in to your fics so thank you so much!

How about having an argument with Zoro, Sanji, Ace and Law and f!s/o accidentally says "i hate you", what would their reaction be like?

Angst but fluff and comfort ending if u may omg agsjsvs

N e wayz, have an amazing day bub!❤🥺

Sensitive Topic

Hello softiebadbitch :) ! love this name.

I wasn't really sure how to add 4 readers into one story but I think I found a good solution. It's clear to me that you wanted to have 4 separate stories but this would have been too long for one post and you can't use one request for several posts.. sadly. Hope this fixed it - I made one general story and continued with 4 different endings. All of them are in the reader version but the 'extra girlfriends' have their specific names to not make it too complicated.

Kind of like this way of writing.. wouldn't mind more requests like this :) ! Thanks for letting me explore this new style even though it probably wasn't intended.

And thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it <3 especially because I don't know if anything I write is good enough for Tumblr or literally any request. Thank you, thank you, thank you <3 !

- Ace x reader - ZoroxRey, SanjixAna, LawxValeria (if one of these names is yours.. you're welcome) - 2,774 words (but it's a 4 in 1 story) - lovey-dovey, little pain in our chest, signs of smut, still SFW, cute moments

Spending some girl-time with your closest best friends was a really rare occasion after spending years on many pirate ships. Especially bonding with female human beings was hard. But since you were dating Ace, you finally got the chance after meeting his friends. Some of them were already in a relationship with their current partners and the rest just started dating. After a successful shopping day, you spend the rest of the evening in the fanciest diner on this island and booked a whole room just for you and your better halves. The men were probably still training or doing something unimportant, but none of you cared. "Can you believe the guy from the bakery? He dared to follow us around just to carry our bags..?", Rey laughed and finished her second glass of wine. "Just please don't tell Sanji about it. He is already heartbroken because I went shopping without him.", Ana pouted and sighed a bit sad. You rolled your eyes, "Stop whining. This is the first time after eight months that we could hang out together. And we didn't have to worry about carrying something." "Plus, the guy seemed to be really into you, Ana.", Rey smirked and gave her a flirty wink. "Stop saying that! Sanji could come here any minute! You know how jealous he can get!", Ana warned Rey and glared at her. This was the worst timing ever. "Jealous? Why?! Did anyone touch you?!", Sanji's eyes were already in flames and he almost teleported himself to his girlfriend after hearing these words. The men decided to join you all on the right - or maybe wrong? - time and chose to mock the conversation. "Probably some weird girly things, we don't wanna know about.", Ace grinned and sat down right in front of you. The men sat down on the other side of the table and didn't even choose to greet them with a hug or a kiss, except for Sanji, who could barely let his fingers of Ana. You raised an eyebrow at Ace's comment, "What?" "Just kidding! You had probably something important to talk about.. like which nail color you're supposed to get next week.", Ace added and high-fived Zoro. "Or what hairstyle you should make to match your earrings!", Zoro couldn't stop laughing at his own comment. Ace turned to Law for another high five but he just glared at the topless pirate. "What? You're leaving me hanging like this?!" "Don't drag me into this.", Law turned away from him and faced Valeria, who seemed pleased by his answer. The others were not though. You were still confused by Ace's behavior but slowly understood that he tried to be as manly as possible in front of the others. Sanji sat down on his place after failing to convince Ana to have her sit on his lap. "What do you mean? An hour ago you were talking about how Valeria tried to draw her eyeliner but ended up looking like a panda!", Ace laughed and high-fived Zoro again, who seemed to feel a bit unsure about Ace's comment now. Rey looked down at her drink, already realizing how quickly the mood changed since they started making fun of all of you. Valeria was shocked. She didn't know how to respond and just shook her head, ignoring Law's desperate look on his face. "That's enough, Ace.", you talked silently and poured yourself some wine, not caring about the waiter offering to do it for you. "What.. I-", Ace froze after seeing your face. It pained him to see you being disappointed and he didn't know how that happened. "I am sorry if I have offended anyone.. we were just talking.. ", he cleared his throat and began to feel uncomfortable. He didn't see that coming. "Then maybe you should stop it", you were still not able to look up. "Stop what? Talking?" "Yes.", your eyes flashed up to him now. He didn't expect to see the anger in them. Ace has never seen that glare directed at him. It felt way too painful. "Okay, everyone. Let's calm down now and enjoy this dinner.", Sanji tried to cool down the situation and looked at the food, which didn't look good enough for his girlfriend. "Gonna be hard when you're here.", Zoro commented under his breath and was already eating his meal. "Huh?!", Sanji clenched

his teeth and tensed all his muscles to not smack Zoro for that comment. "Can you just calm down, you two?!", Ana took a deep and annoyed breath, trying to stay calm in this uncomfortable scenario. Ace couldn't stop but to look at you, ignoring him now. "Valeria-" "Don't.", she stopped Law from whatever he was trying to say. Everyone was quiet. Nobody was eating. "..anyone want some extra bread?", the waiter whispered and stood behind you, holding up a basket with fresh bread.

-----

Ace x reader When you arrived in the room of your hotel, you still didn't dare to say a word. You were still furious about his behavior, especially because this wasn't the first time he dared to say something like that. "(Y/N), I am-" "I don't want to hear it." "Please, just let me-" "I said, that I don't want to hear it.", you hit your jacket onto the bed and let go of it a few seconds after. Taking a deep breath, Ace pressed his lips together and didn't know what to say or do. You two never had a fight like this and he feared to say something wrong, which would make you leave him. "I don't want us to go to bed angry.", he whispered sadly and stepped closer to you. You just froze and closed your eyes, trying to remain calm. "You always do this.. every time you make fun of something I do. I stopped talking about my hobbies and literally anything that makes me happy and you caught a glimpse of us having fun, and immediately you chose to mock it..." Ace frowned at that and thought back to all the times he tried to have fun with you. He never understood any of your hobbies or what girls liked, which is why he tried to spend some time with you by making jokes but it never occurred to him that it was actually hurting you. "Why did you never tell me that? I didn't know that it hurt you.." "Because I shouldn't need to tell you! I hate when you try to make fun of me or other people like that! You literally took the joy of me doing my hair, trying to learn how to skateboard or even baking muffins! I hate this, I hate the fights and I hate yo-" Both of you froze right on your spots. "Oh my God..", tears were rolling down your eyes and your knees weren't able to support you any longer. You immediately went down to your knees and hid your face in your hands. "I didn't want to say this.. it slipped.. I don't hate you, Ace!" Your heart was aching at what you were about to say. Ace didn't feel any better. He sat down right next to you and watched you wiping your tears away. "I have caused this... I am sorry, (Y/N).. This will never happen again, I promise. I just wanted to be a part of something in your life.", he took a deep breath and pulled you onto his lap. "I will find another way. Just please.. don't hate me." You shook your head and hugged him tight back, hiding your face in his neck and never ever letting him go. --- Zoro x Rey Zoro came out of the shower, just a towel around his hips and water still dripping down his naked chest. This was usually a sight, which made you jump right onto him but not this time. The pirate hunter had hoped for you to fall for it because he was really bad at apologizing but he knew you had a stronger will than him. He would have fallen for it. You were already in bed, cuddled into your pillow and ignoring him professionally. "Rey.. I can feel that you're not sleeping.", Zoro approached the bed and sighed when you didn't respond. "..are you mad at me?", he whispered now carefully. You raised an eyebrow at this provocative question and pressed your lips together, trying not to give back a stupid answer. But your mouth responded faster than your brain. "No, I am super happy about today's events. We can repeat that tomorrow again, if you feel like making fun of women-things.", you added in a sarcastic tone. "So.. that's a yes?" You turned around, the pillow tight in your grip and pulled the pillow with a loud thud onto his face. When you took the pillow away, you narrowed your eyes at his provocative smirk. "Definitely, yes." "Shut up.", you sighed and were about to turn around again but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to the other side of the bed until you were facing him. "Stop running away from your problems all the time, lady." "I really hate when you are doing this!", you tried to free your arm from his grip. "What?" "Using your strength to make me do whatever you want to!" "This is literally the reason, why you started dating me. Because I am not a weakling, who gets dragged by everyone like your stupid exes. But if you really hate it, then that means you must hate me

too, right?", he leaned forward, making sure not to miss any sort of reaction in your eyes. You looked at him surprised and didn't know what to say. After a few seconds, you shook your head and sighed a bit. "I couldn't hate you for being you. I hate the fact that you're making fun of girl-things all the time." "Alright, I'll stop then.", Zoro promised and let go of your hand. He turned around and went to the pile of washed clothes on the couch to pick out something to sleep in. Right.. I forgot how easy it can be in a relationship. You talk, promise and go on. Not believing what he just did, your brain had a thousand thoughts about what would happen during this night but it did not involve any sort of clothes. You stood up, went to him, and pulled away his towel. Zoro turned around, surprised by your decision, "Oj.. bad girl." --- Sanji x Ana After this emotional and very unusual dinner, you decided to have some tea. Sanji was still in your bedroom preparing a bath for you even though you've told him that you weren't in the mood for it. You hid in the kitchen and cooked some water, while preparing the rest. While you were looking for the honey, which he was hiding from Luffy, Sanji entered the kitchen. "Oj, what are you doing?", he approached you and immediately figured that you were making some tea. "Just something to warm myself up with a sweet taste.", you smiled a bit exhausted and felt Sanji's arms around you in an instant. "I am sorry for today.. I know that I promised you to not get triggered because of that marimo but his bare existence is to annoy me.", Sanji tried to brighten the mood and gave you a soft kiss on your head. "No, it's okay.. I am already used to it. I just wanted to have a chill day with the girls and this fight kind of ruined everything again.", you shrugged and leaned softly onto him, enjoying his muscular arms supporting you. "Oh.. so you don't hate me, right?" You laughed softly. The relationship had only just begun and Sanji had to question every move of yours. "I could never...", you looked up to him and kissed his warm lips softly, forgetting about everything that had happened in the last hour. --- Law x Valeria Law used his room ability to create a bubble surrounding the two of you. He carefully stepped closer and put his arm around your waist only to see you turn your head away from him. He tensed his jaw, trying to hide the sudden strike of pain in his chest and just decided to ignore it for now. "Shambles." You found yourself in your and Law's bedroom. After a few seconds, you just freed yourself from his arm and went straight into the bathroom, locking yourself in. Law just stood there, not knowing what to do or say. He had definitely hurt your feelings but he didn't know how to apologize for it. "Val..", he closed the distance slowly to the door and tried to listen to whatever you were doing inside. It sounded like you were throwing something away and sniffling quietly. Fuck.. "Valeria.. what are you doing?" "Cleaning.", your response was sharp. Law knew that he was a genius, who could solve the hardest puzzle on this planet or even have a detailed discussion with Robin, but even Luffy or Kid would have been able to figure out what you were doing right now. "Stop throwing away your things. I like it when you put on your make-up." "Are you sure about that? Or are you going to call me a dog or a salamander the next time you talk to others?!", you wiped away your tears and threw away the rest of the make-up, which you bought today. "Stop overreacting. I was just talking about your eyeliner the other day and you hated it too. Take out the make-up again and forget about it.", he sighed and knew that this wasn't something he should say but he also knew that it would trigger you enough to get out of the bathroom. "You know what-!", you opened the door harshly and stepped out, pointing your index finger at him. Law had a hard time hiding his cheeky smile because he already knew you well enough. "I hate what you're doing! Always talking about me behind my back! I hate

you for it!", you crossed your arms at your chest and took a deep breath, trying to control the last brain cells, which are still able to hold you back from kissing his cheeky smirk. The pirate captain raised an eyebrow at that and needed a second to choose his next words wisely. "Did you just tell me that you hate me?" "I said that I hate you for it! Not that I hate you!" "This is literally the same..", Law tilted his head a bit and couldn't quite accept that. "I hate it when you talk about me behind my back before talking to me personally. You were the first one to say 'I love you' but not directly to me.. no! You said it to Bepo first and he told me. Then you said that you preferred my soft cookies more than the brownies but again: you didn't tell me! You told Sanji! And to the newest 'Law is a wimp and can't tell his girlfriend anything personally', you told the boys that I looked like a damn panda!" "But a cute one..", Law smirked now and stepped closer, putting his hand on your cheek softly. You were just about to smack it away but Law was faster. He pushed you against a wall within a second and pressed his body against yours. His hand rested on your neck and he pressed his thumb against your chin, forcing you to look up at him. "Say it again, Valeria..", he purred your name in his dangerously sexy voice. "Say that you hate me." You frowned at his reaction and didn't really understand how this turned him on. "No, you weirdo." "Say it.", he commanded now and leaned closer to you, your lips barely touching. "Make me.", your last brain cells just said their goodbyes. A harsh sound of him pulling out his belt appeared beside you and you couldn't look away. His eyes were focused on yours as if he'd die if he'd miss anything for a second. "Don't tell Bepo.. but you're my favorite panda." "You fucking... I really hate you now.", you spoke through your teeth and tried to push him away. The most heartwarming laugh escaped Law's lips and he immediately locked his lips with yours, not giving you a chance to respond to him laughing. Law pulled your arms behind your back and tied them with his belt. "That's my girl.", he whispered in between your kiss and didn't let go of you for the rest of the night.

[julemmaes]

Can you write more of the Nessian modern au where they have 5 kids plz?

Prompt ideas:

They go camping

Ezra goes on his first date

One of the kids (probably like Cal or Celia) feels like their parents done love them as much as they love the others / that they don’t get as much attention as they others

Obv u don’t need to use any of these prompts if u don’t want to, these are just some ideas

I loved your fic !!!

I Love You

Set in this universe, Nessian fourth child feels like she’s isn’t given the same amount of love her parents are showing her siblings and after a particularly bad day goes by, she bursts.

A/N: The ages: Ezra (23), Cal (19), Nora (14), Celia (12) and Andra (10). Nate is (18) and Iria (Emerie and Azriel’s firstborn) is (13).

It was hard to write this one, cause if one of my children came to me like this, telling me what Celia is going to say, I would probably kill myself you know. Hate these situations:(

Also, I’m definitely gonna write the other two too, cause they’re interesting and I think you all want to read about Ezra’s first date. So don’t worry, we’ll see them camping and struggling with love some more!

Enjoy!

Word count: 4,370

"Cal, can you help me with my homework?" asked Celia as she entered the boys room.

Her brother didn't even spare her a glance, waving a hand in mid-air, "I can't right now Cece, I'm playing with Nate and I can't pause, sorry." then burst out laughing at something his cousin had said to him through his earbuds. He cast her a quick glance over his shoulder, "Maybe when I finish."

The girl huffed, muttering a don't worry and closed the door behind her. She walked down the hallway, towards her room and Nora's. She didn't bother knocking, but froze in the doorway, staring at her sister with hopeful eyes. She knew she wouldn't find help there either when she heard her say Iria's name into the phone's microphone.

She could feel that she might be about to let out a scream of frustration.

She was about to leave the room when Nora noticed her, "Iria wait a second," she put a hand on the phone, smiling at Celia, "Do you want anything? I can leave the room if you need to study in silence," she offered her.

Celia shook her head, "I can't do this geometry problem." she said furrowing her brow as she looked at the strange figure on the sheet her math teacher had assigned her. She looked up at Nora and she had a bored look on her face. Celia had confirmation of what she had thought as soon as she walked in. Before her sister could find an excuse to escape that task, she smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'll do it myself."

Nora didn't even try to retort and resumed talking to her cousin, yelling at Celia to close the door when she left.

"Yeah, I'll close the door for you," she muttered to herself.

She didn't want to go to her mom and ask for help with her homework because she knew it would end with one of them yelling, but she had no other choice. Huffing for the millionth time, she headed downstairs, mentally ready to face an intense math session with her mom.

When she entered the kitchen, Nesta was leaning on her chair with her knees and half lying on the table, holding a yellow pencil and coloring one of the suns on Andra's exercise book.

Her sister was the first to see her, "Hi." she said in a flat tone.

Celia snickered, thinking "we're in the same boat sis". Doing homework with mom had always been tiring, whether it was math to solve or simple drawings to color, Nesta had the ability to squeeze their little brains to their last nerve.

Cassian had always told them that one day they would thank her, but Celia hadn't reached that moment yet. She was sure Ezra, who was finishing college, hadn't thanked her yet either for making him maintain that level of consistency in his studies.

"Mom," she called hesitantly, "could you help me with this problem?"

Andra glared at her, frowning, "She's helping me."

Celia knew she didn't mean it in a bad way, she knew she was probably just as tired as she was at that moment. After all, it was seven o'clock on a Sunday night for everyone, and if Andra had found herself finishing studying so late too, it was because she too had been given too much homework. She ignored her, waiting for Nesta to speak.

When he didn't answer her, Celia pushed with more annoyance in her voice, "Mom."

Nesta's head snapped toward her, and even this time, Celia knew the answer would be no. The weariness clear in her features. Nesta closed her eyes, scratching a temple with the tip of her pencil, "Can't you ask one of your siblings?"

"Nora and Cal are busy," she let her know, "I don't know where Ezra is."

Andra pointed her to the back door, "He's out with Dad, they're working in the gazebo."

Celia nodded, "Thank you." Nesta gave her a tired smile and then went back to coloring in the sun.

She clutched the book and notebook to her chest as she pushed the door open and the cold outside made her shiver. She could hear the hoarse laughter and low voices of her dad and brother, but she couldn't see them anywhere.

She stepped barefoot into the grass and wiggled her fingers through the blades of grass and then there was silence and Celia was suddenly afraid. If she turned around she could see Nesta and Andra at the table, but in front of her there was only darkness and silence, until a loud bang came from the gazebo and then she heard Cassian cursing, before Ezra burst out laughing.

She grinned, tiptoeing towards the two men.

As soon as she moved the curtain that was the door to the gazebo, a dart flew past her head and she jumped back, eyes wide. She felt her heart in her throat.

"Celia!" had shouted Ezra, sprinting toward her. His eyes, too, were full of fear and he had grabbed her by the arms. Cassian immediately behind him stroked her hair, checking to make sure he hadn't poked her in the face. They both let go a breath of relief when they saw that she was okay.

"Cutie you have to be careful when you come in here, you know that," her dad told her with a carefree smile on his face, "If I caught you, mommy would skin me alive."

All three cackled, Ezra pulling himself up and removing the darts from the board.

"Did you need anything?" asked Cassian.

Celia nodded, remembering the real reason she had gone there, "I can't do this problem-" she started to open the notebook, but Ezra interrupted her.

"Dad and I are just finishing up fixing this actually," he told her with a apologetic grimace, "Could you wait a half hour?"

Celia looked at Cassian hopefully, but her dad was already back handling tools and nails.

She turned to her brother, "But you were playing darts." she said impassively.

Ezra shrugged, "We were just taking a few minutes off, we've been working for hours." then turned to Dad, "Where's the wire?"

Cassian pointed to a spot on the other side of the gazebo and Celia took that gesture as her cue to leave them alone again.

"Nevermind." she whispered, closing the notebook and leaving the gazebo.

She eyed the table at which they ate breakfast every summer morning, thinking that if she started studying there maybe she would die of hypothermia and finally someone would deign to help her. Laughing at how extra she could be at times, she walked back into the house, passing her mom and Andra in silence and heading back to Cal's room. She was going to wait for him to finish the game and then force him to solve the problem for her.

She threw open the door and Cal let out a shriek, startling her.

"God, Cece you scared the shit out of me." he breathed, bringing a hand to his chest, finishing pulling on his pants.

Celia furrowed her brow, "Weren't you playing with Nate?"

Cal nodded absentmindedly, looking around, "See my wallet?"

She pointed it out to him. "Where are you going? You said you'd help me," she said in a whiny tone.

"I said maybe," he smiled slyly at her, "and Raina called me and I'm spending the night at her place." with that he turned and opened the drawer, pulling out two aluminum foil envelopes. As soon as Celia realized what they were, she brought her hands to her eyes.

"Gee," she sighed, then turned around shaking her head, "I didn't need to see that."

Without looking at him, she raised a hand, smiling tightly at the empty space in front of her, "See you tomorrow, have fun."

Cal chuckled as he walked past her and darted down the stairs, "Sure will. See you tomorrow."

Celia shook her head again and then again, trying to erase the image of- she walked back down the hall, opening up the door to her room.

Nora in a completely different position was still talking on the phone and when she saw her she rolled her eyes, telling Iria to wait yet again. She turned on her stomach, raising an eyebrow, "What is it?"

Why is everyone so grumpy today?

Celia was fed up with that attitude and raised her arms to the sky, "Nothing, whatever."

Then they stared at each other for a few seconds and Nora nodded her chin, "Could you please go out? I'm talking to Iria on the phone and-"

"This is my room, too," Celia retorted, pointing out the obvious.

Nora huffed, leaning her head back, "Yes and I'm asking if I can please talk to our cousin in private."

Celia was getting even more nervous. "If you would help me with this problem I could go mind my own business in the living room and I wouldn't have to bother you every five minutes anymore."

Nora stood up, grabbing her by the arm and pushing her out of the room, "I'll help you when I'm done talking on the phone."

Celia didn't even have time to realize that her sister had literally just thrown her out of the room that the door behind her had already been closed. She wanted to go back in and throw herself at Nora and work it out the way they used to work it out when they were kids, when they could still hit each other if they fought - not that their parents ever let them go beyond the first slap or hair pull.  

She walked into the bathroom in the middle of their rooms to see where Cassian and Ezra stood, but from the second floor it was impossible to see inside the gazebo.

She went to Andra's room so she wouldn't risk running into condom wrappers and having to breathe the testosterone-smelling air of her brothers' room and sat down on the bed. She opened the notebook on her lap, rereading the problem statement aloud.

"A rectangular parallelepiped has basic dimensions that measure-" then she stopped.

It was pointless. She couldn't figure out what formulas to apply to calculate what was asked of her in the fourth question. Rereading the text wasn't going to help.

She brought her hands to her hair.

Why is this so hard?

She heard Nora laughing down the hall and felt anger sizzle under her skin.

Ever since she'd gotten the phone for her fourteenth birthday, there hadn't been a night that was one in which she hadn't called Iria. And it had only been a few months since she'd started high school, but Celia didn't understand how those two things had managed to change her sister like that.

She knew Nora still cared about her, but it was getting harder and harder to spend time with her, and Cal was always out with Raina and the twins and it was possible that she didn't see him for days at a time. Although that last part had become an occurrence in recent years.

Nesta had explained to her that it was normal, that they were just growing up and there was nothing to worry about, that they'd get closer once she got older too, but it had hurt Celia to lose Cal in many ways and now she was just scared that the same thing would happen with Nora.

She had nothing against spending her free time with Andra, but she was still little and still liked to play with dolls and Celia would rather hang herself than pretend to be a Doctor Peluche one more time.

She chuckled again this time, imagining herself announcing her death to her parents after her little sister asked her to play.

Then she heard Andra scream with happiness and run up the stairs. She was just in time to get out of the bed and out of the room that her sister was at the top of the stairs.

"I finished my homework!" she yelled, balling up her fists in the air.

Celia smiled at her, "Great."

Then Andra sagged, "Now I'm going to go take a victory nap."

"You've earned it." she walked past her as she yawned and headed down the stairs two steps at a time.

"Mom!" she called skipping the last three, "Can you help me now?"

Nesta made a frustrated sound, turning to her with a bag of frozen green beans in her hand.

"I just finished with Andra, is there any way we could think about this after dinner?"

Celia was about to start crying, but nodded anyway. She went into the living room when her mom resumed cooking, turning on the TV and putting on a channel where they showed how food is made.

When her dad and Ezra came back into the house they were so dirty that Nesta sent them straight to get washed up with the threat of not letting them sit down if they didn't smell flowery and clean.

Celia would have gone along with her mom, adding a sassy retort to make it even more dramatic, but at that moment she couldn't speak.

Cassian had passed behind the couch to go to the bathroom and shower, ruffling her hair and leaving a kiss on her head.

Even there, Celia didn't respond or say any "I love you too" back.

She didn't realize until a few minutes later that she wasn't really watching the show, and when she felt she was about to start crying - from too much accumulated stress and frustration throughout the day - she decided she needed to find a place where she could blow off steam.

Her room was apparently off-limits, Andra's was occupied and she couldn't hide in either her parents' or her brothers' room because both Ezra and her dad would go there to get dressed after their showers.

This only added to all the bad things of the day and on top of all the crap, she knew her mom was going to go to sleep right after dinner. When Nesta was this tired there was no way she was going to be able to stay up a minute longer and even if she could convince her it would just be hell.

Doing math with a calm and rested Nesta was already a nightmare on its own, she didn't want to think about what it would be like to do it with a cranky and tired Nesta.

She silently opened the door that led into the tavern, where the brothers normally spent their Saturday nights with their cousins and friends. The girls still weren't allowed to go down there when everyone was there, and Celia was looking forward to high school so she would get a free pass to attend their nights.

That is, if they would accept her.

She closed the door carefully behind her and ran down the stairs, turning on the light first.

She threw herself on the couch and then hugged her legs, sobbing once. And then again and again until a liberating cry was wracking her body.

She didn't know if it was just the math assignment she couldn't do or if it bothered her to see how much everyone didn't need her at that moment. Andra had mom and Ezra had dad and Nora and Cal had their respective friends and Celia… she felt so lonely right then.

She sobbed particularly loudly and clamped her mouth shut with her hand when she heard her father's footsteps pass by the tavern door. She didn't want him to hear her, it would worry him for nothing.

Yes, it was just because she couldn't get a stupid math problem right. She was overreacting.

She didn't need her parents. Or her brothers.

Or her sister for that matter.

She was sure all of her classmates were getting the exercise done.

She loosened her arms from around her legs and lay down on the couch, closing her eyes and clutching one of the pillows to her chest. It had a vague earthy smell to it, but it smelled like Cal too, and it angered the girl even more as she grabbed a corner of the pillow and threw it across the room, yelling not too loudly.

She didn't know how long she'd been down there, but when Nesta called the family to let them know dinner was ready, Celia sprang to her feet. She pulled the sleeves of her shirt over her hands and ran them over her face to remove the residue of the crying in frantic movements.

She took three deep breaths and then walked slowly up the stair

s. She opened the door just as Ezra walked into the living room and their eyes met.

She immediately lowered her head, so he wouldn't see her face, but her brother put a hand on her shoulder, "Lia..." the silent request to look at him clear as day.

"What?" she replied too surly. She cursed in her head when she noticed her brother stiffen. It was as if she could see his surprised expression.

So much for playing dumb.

"Are you okay?" he asked, then squeezed her shoulder, "Why were you downstairs?"

She moved to escape his grasp, then ran a hand over her face, huffing, "I was looking for something." she replied evasively, trying to make her way to the kitchen. Ezra grabbed her wrist, spinning her around, at which point Celia was forced to look at him.

Ezra had a conflicted expression, somewhere between angry and worried, "What happened? Why are you crying?" he asked, in a tone that didn't allow for a non-answer.

Celia remained silent, her brows knitted in a frown as she tried to swallow the knot that was forming in her throat.

Perhaps he had spoken too loudly, because Cassian's figure appeared in the kitchen doorway, "Who's crying?"

Celia looked towards her dad and it only took a second of seeing him for the crying to return, only harder.

Cassian's face turned completely as he moved Ezra from in front of his daughter and hugged her, lifting her off the ground. Celia wrapped her arms around her father's neck, hiding her face between the crook of his neck and his shoulder, and only sobbed louder as Cassian's hand began massaging her back in circular motions.

She didn't care if she would be thirteen in a few weeks. She didn't care that her father was rocking her like he used to when she was little, she just wanted him to hold her close.

She wrapped her legs around her dad's waist and heard Cassian take a shaky breath, "Ezra why don't you go ahead? We'll be right there."

Celia didn't see or hear her brother's response, but she was grateful to her dad when he moved to the couch, settling down and bringing her to him. She pressed herself tighter against him.

"Lia, what happened?" he whispered in her ear. This only made her sob more loudly, "Ssh, cutie," he murmured as the little girl's breathing became more erratic, "It's okay."

"Celia." her mom's voice made her sit up and Nesta was there, who with only a few steps was behind the couch. She'd seen Andra and Nora's heads pop up from the kitchen as well, but Ezra had called them back and they were gone immediately.

Nesta took a seat next to Cassian, her arms outstretched toward her daughter, but her gaze fixed on her husband's. Celia launched herself at her mother, but kept an arm around her father's neck and Cassian took her hand, squeezing it in his.

The child's tears had soaked his pajama shirt and Nesta's chest tightened. She brushed Celia's hair until she had a clear view of her daughter's face, "What's wrong?"

"I have-" she sobbed, "I had to solve a problem and I couldn't and no one-" every breath she tried to take was broken by a sob. She sniffled, "And then Nora kicked me out of the room and Cal- Cal didn't want to help me and he left and you were-" she ran the hand that wasn't clasped in Cassian's over her face, "You were helping Andra." then she turned to her dad and started crying again, "And then you and Ezra sent me away."

Nesta felt tremendous guilt and was about to apologize to her, for ignoring her, but then Celia said something that completely broke her heart.

"You don't love me like you do the others," she sobbed into her mom's chest.

"Oh, Lia." murmured Cassian, in a hurt tone. He slipped a hand between Nesta and his daughter's stomach and pulled her away from her mother, forcing the woman's arms off Celia.

Cassian sat her back down on his lap and looked into her eyes, leaning down just enough to be at the same height as her. His brow was furrowed and she could see how upset those few words had made him.

"That's absolutely not true." he whispered in a firm tone, watching the redness of his little girl's face, the tears that continued to fall undisturbed.

Nesta stroked her hair, "Your father is right." she added.

"You are all on exactly the same level. There's no such thing as loving one child more than the other," he repeated, "It's not possible."

Celia took more shaky breaths, struggling to speak, "Cal and Nora hate me now."

Nesta felt bad for her little girl. She didn't dare imagine how long she had kept those doubts to herself, couldn't imagine how she could think those things. How she had let one of her children feel that way without even noticing.

"Cal could never hate you and you know it. He loves you too much. Exactly like me and Mom and Nora too, even though it might not seem like it." said Cassian. Then he ran a thumb under her eyes, wiping her cheeks. "I'm sorry if we made you feel left out today, that wasn't our intention, okay?"

Celia nodded, but resumed crying.

"We're a family, we all love each other so much, but we're also numerous," Nesta tried to explain, "It may happen sometimes that no one is available to help you at that moment, but that doesn't mean they don't love you or care about you less than the day before."

Cassian squeezed her hips, "Why didn't you tell us this before?" he asked her, later clarifying, "That you were feeling this way."

Celia shrugged, resting her hands on her daddy's chest, just as she did when she was little.

"I don't want it to get to a point where you can't hold back anymore and you have to hide to cry, okay?" said Cassian to her. Nesta looked at him and saw that his eyes were glazed over. She placed a hand on his leg, but the man's attention didn't shift from his daughter's face. "If you feel that Mama and I and anyone in this house are misbehaving with you, you come tell us and we'll talk about it, without the need to yell at each other and fight." he gave her a hesitant smile. Then he wrapped her up and pulled her against him, kissing her temple, "Please don't think I love you any less just because I'm a stupid, clueless big man who can't manage his time optimally, okay?"

Celia nodded against his neck, starting to play with the end of his hair strands.

"And I'm sorry if I made you think that for even a second," he closed his eyes as he whispered those words to her.

"I love you dad." said Celia in a muffled voice.

Cassian held her tighter to his chest, "I love you cutie."

Nesta cleared her throat, laying a hand on her daughter's back, "I'm sorry if I didn't pay enough attention to you today too and if I sent you out of the kitchen," she murmured, urging her to look at her. Celia broke away from Cassian, getting off his lap and launching herself at her mother, who caught her and stifled a laugh at the sudden weight.

God, she was growing up so fast, too.

"I love you, Lia." she whispered to her, "Don't ever doubt that, please."

"I love you mom."

They stayed rocking their baby girl for a few more minutes, then Cassian made a joke about the food that was getting cold in their plates, and all three of them got up from the couch and walked into a particularly quiet kitchen.

Nesta took a seat next to Andra and kissed her forehead as she took a green bean from the serving plate with her small hand.

Cassian glanced at all his children present and blew out a cough, "Maybe we should talk about eavesdropping as well."

Ezra turned to Celia, who was wiping her face with her napkin despite the fact that it was already dry, "Sorry for making you feel that way." he smiled at her, "I love you."

Celia nodded, focusing on her food.

"I want to apologize too," Nora said more softly, playing with the edge of the tablecloth. "I shouldn't have kicked you out of the room like that, and if you want to later I'll help you with the problem."

Her sister looked at her and opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, "I would love to."

"Sorry." said Andra, with a rather cute frown on her face. She probably didn't quite understand what had happened, but Celia appreciated either way. Even as she gave her the widest smile as she said, "I love you."

Celia looked at everyone at the table, swallowing noisily, "I love you."

She would talk to Cal another time.

They ate between jokes and pranks and after dinner they all jumped on their parents' bed, cuddling until they all fell asleep there. Cassian and Nesta were forced to give up their room for the night, taking refuge in the guest room instead, but not before showing their children how much infinite love they felt for each of them.

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[hadtochangemyurlquick]

can u write more leachel please

no but i can fuck ur bitch

Leah’s first public reading was not packed. Of course, the seven of them all filed into front row seats and of course her parents, grandparents, Ian, and most of her teachers were scattered throughout the audience. Even Emily, her friend from middle school who she hadn’t really talked to since she went to private school, showed up. It was a sweet gesture but beyond the people who knew Leah personally, only around fifty or so were actual fans. It was fine and Leah did an amazing talk and afterwards Rachel slapped her hand against her thigh, wishing she could actually clap.

Leah’s tenth public reading was standing room only.

The National book festival was held once a year in DC and while there were two panels Leah was put on, they also asked her to do her own talk because she had a new book coming out. It’d been called by the New York Times book review “the most anticipated book of the year!” And Rachel had only been allowed to read the first draft of the first chapter, which was slightly killing her. But her girlfriend had a process, even if that process was to solely talk to Nora about it. Nora and sometimes Toni.

When Leah walked onto the slightly raised platform the entire room erupted into applause. It was a standing ovation and Leah looked beautiful and also incredibly embarrassed. Her eyes found Rachel’s immediately and they were so fucking intense, Rachel just wanted her to keep looking at her forever. Forever and a half.

“Wow,” Leah began when she reached her microphone. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” There was laughter, more cheers, gradually people sat down. “Thank you all for coming, I know there’s some pretty amazing panels going on right now. There’s still time to go to Roxanne Gay’s talk, it’s a few rooms down.”

More laughter, more cheers, a “We love you Leah Rilke!”

Rachel shook her head, smiling. Leah could pretend all she wanted, but Rachel saw what was happening. The entire world was slowly coming to life under her touch. The English language was being shaped to fit Leah Rilke.

Every think piece, ever op-ed, every review, mentioned the words Leah Rilke somewhere in there. Every teenage girl was talking about her like they’d talk about the Bible. TV studios and movie execs sat in rooms and discussed about how they could capture her writing style. Publishing houses wanted to find their very own Leah Rilke. Tattoo artists were adding to their pre drawn collections symbols from her books.

It was happening slowly, a little at a time, but time happened all at once. And history textbooks were being printed in Texas for the year 2032 that had an entire chapter about Leah Rilke.

The world was changing, and for the next half-century it’d be one where Leah Rilke was alive. And after, it’d be one where everyone was looking for the next Leah Rilke, however futile.

Leah didn’t see it, but Rachel could. And Nora. They talked about it sometimes, when a Dolly Parton song came on or Tolkien happened to come up in conversation.

“I’m not really afraid of public speaking,” Leah continued. “But can you all look somewhere else for a minute? I just need a break, I feel like you all are staring.”

There was more laughter and Rachel felt her phone buzz. Her eyebrow furrowed and she ignored it, instead focusing on the woman wearing her engagement ring.

It’d taken her a minute to propose, insecurities thriving with Leah off giving talks or going to conventions like this one. In a big empty house it wasn’t hard to feel less than, especially with one hand.

It’d been Dot who talked sense into her. Dot surprisingly sensible when she herself had eloped with Fatin, annulled it, and eloped again.

“Okay,” Dot said. “Maybe she’s too good for you. So what? She doesn’t know that.”

“Exactly,” Rachel said. “That’s my fucking point. She’s gonna find someone better and realize that I’m just… me.”

“Yeah,” Dot nodded.

Rachel glared at her. “You aren’t making me feel better.”

“I’m not Fatin, or Shelby, or Martha.”

“I know that,” Rachel said.

“It sounds like you wanna marry her,” Dot said. “So fuckin’ marry her. Then she won’t be able to fuck off with someone else.”

“But I want her to be happy,” Rachel said.

“So fuckin’ make her happy,” Dot said. “I don’t get what the fuckin’ problem is.”

So she proposed. Leah said yes immediately, not even a moment of hesitation, and they were planning a small wedding with a rabbi they both knew and a Huppa but not a Ketubah. Some sort of halfway for the both of them.

Rachel’s phone buzzed again and she turned it off, slipping it in her backpack to focus on Leah.

“This is probably the hardest book I’ve ever written. Not because its deeply personal or anything, just because I had to do so much research for it,” Leah said. “I even had to dedicate it to my sister in law because she spent hours with me looking at flight patterns and chess strategies. Do you guys know how many different kind of tulips there are? I can’t say I don’t understand the dutch a little better now.”

Nora squeezed her wrist and she looked over at her. Shelby caught her eye from beside Nora and passed her a phone, the notes app open.

Jeffs here.

Rachel frowned. Jeff Greene? The book review guy? Or maybe Jeffery Wilson, the Sony guy. Didn’t they have a neighbor named Jeff who liked to complain about their noise level to the police?

“Jeff?” She mouthed back.

Shelby was stone faced when she nodded and something sunk in Rachel’s gut.

Fuck. Jeff.

Leah was still talking but Rachel couldn’t hear her.

Where?

Shelby took the phone back.

The back.

Rachel clenched her jaw and Nora squeezed her wrist again, eyes wide.

Has Leah seen him?

Shelby shook her head and Rachel let out a breath of relief.

She got to her feet, and cast a quick smile back at Leah who’s brow furrowed at her. She kept talking though, stumbling a little on her speech. Behind her, Fatin, Martha, and Shelby followed.

Jeff wasn’t hard to spot. He was the washed-up has been, with the fraying hair and dark circles under his eyes.

“You need to leave,” Rachel spat.

“I’m just here to apologize,” Jeff said. “I don’t even—”

“You’re leaving,” Shelby cut off. “Now. Or I’ll call security.”

“Take this outside,” Someone hissed and Fatin dragged him out, shoving him roughly through the open door. Several more people waiting outside slipped inside, entirely grateful.

“Listen, I know I fucked up, I want to apologize,” Jeff said.

“She was a child,” Fatin said. “You’re a fucking predator.”

Jeff paled.

“Wait,” Martha said. “Are you here to apologize for dumping her, or for raping her?”

“I didn’t—”

Maybe it was Shelby that threw the first punch, or maybe Rachel. Maybe they both came at him at once. But Martha didn’t hold Rachel back like she normally would’ve, and Fatin snapped at some people to put their phones away.

Leah said it was ironic later, that Fatin was telling people to put their phones away, while Martha urged on a fight.

But it wasn’t a fight, it was a beat down.

Shelby had taken Toni to enough kickboxing lessons over the years to know how to throw a punch, and Rachel had been picturing this moment with Jeff for too long.

No one intervened once Martha pushed a couple people away explaining he was a pedophile who prayed on teenage girls. One person said, “Isn’t that Jeff Galanis?”

And Martha said: “Yes.”

Jeff Galanis hasn’t published a book in five years at that point, he wouldn’t publish one again. Leah wasn’t happy Rachel broke her only hand, and Toni started going to kickboxing lessons alone.

“It was stupid,” Leah told her, when she met her outside after they’d all been thrown out. “I don’t give a shit about him anymore. I just wanted you there.”

“I know,” Rachel said. “But it wasn’t stupid to me. I wanted you to know you wouldn’t have to see him again.”

“Rach,” Leah sighed. “You remember how when we were driving here a Smith’s song came on?” Rachel nodded. “I realized then I literally couldn’t remember his last name.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Leah said. “We’re getting married in a few months, my new book is coming out, your starting your new job. We’ll probably be aunts as soon as Toni and Shelby finish those foster parent classes. Jeff is like—probably the least important person in the universe right now.”

“Sorry I missed the talk,” Rachel said.

Leah kissed her, soft and easy like they’d never once been.

“It’s okay,” she promised. “There’ll be others.”

There were.