#gives you a reason you sick speech and then actually leaves him nerve to return

[king0fcrows]

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[nessaxc]

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Date Night || Gojo Satoru

Gojo takes you out to dinner, but the flirty waitress at the restaurant really gets on your nerves, so Gojo is determined to assure you that he only has eyes for you.

~ Words: 2.5k

~ NSFW 18+

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"I'm glad I got to see you tonight, I've missed my princess," he leaned across the table to nuzzle his nose against yours gently, and you returned the same motion with a soft giggle.

"I've missed you too," you replied, "it's about time you made some time for me," you added.

"Well, you know, Tokyo keeps me busy," he told you with a chuckle, "but I had to take my best girl out, I know how lonely she gets without me around," he teased.

You giggled and propped your elbow up on the dinner table, balancing your chin in your hand as you held his gaze. He was smiling and shaking his head at you, mimicking your pose, only he rested both elbows on the table and cupped his face with his hands as he looked at you from across the table.

"You look beautiful in that dress by the way, but what else is new, huh?" he winked and broke eye contact for a moment to admire the dress that perfectly hugged your figure, "I'm glad you wore it."

You giggled again at that and twirled a small section of hair around your index finger, smiling down at your lap for a moment before you looked back up at him.

"I'm glad you wore that suit and tie. You should wear it more often, because you clean up pretty well," you grinned and leaned forward slightly to whisper, "by the way, you're really pretty too."

"Am I really pretty?" he joked and batted his lashes, letting his jaw hang slack with a smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth over the way you instantly cracked up laughing. He chuckled airily as he continued to look you up and down, and you had to turn away in attempt to hide the deep blossoming of your cheeks.

"Yes, you're very pretty," you said with a soft chuckle when you turned back to him.

..

"Good evening, can I get you anything?"

A young waitress made her way onto the scene before Gojo could respond to you, and she appeared to be addressing just him rather than both of you. She beamed brightly at him and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, letting out a hint of a giggle that you couldn't help but roll your eyes at.

"Some menus would be nice," he grinned up at her and she flaunted her smile right back at him, making it a mission to maintain eye contact for as long as possible and throw in a bat of the lashes here and there.

"I'll go get those for you right now," she bowed her head and smiled softly, but she didn't leave until she'd make a point of leaning towards him slightly to tell him, "by the way, that tie looks great on you, really compliments your complexion."

She was already flirting with him right in front of you whilst being so brazen about it, and it was really taking everything in you not to totally snap. You didn't want dinner to be spoiled by your temper, though, you could already feel yourself starting to lose your appetite because you were red hot with anger right now. You sat there silently and waited for her to leave, gritting your teeth and casting your gaze downward the entire time.

"Thank you very much," he thanked her before she walked away and when he turned back around to face you, he was greeted by raised brows, pursed lips and your eyes glimmering for the wrong reasons. You half-smirked at him and cleared your throat whilst picking at your nails to avoid looking up at him.

"I think she's expecting a tip from you tonight," you managed to make a joke out of it and mustered a small laugh.

He chuckled lightly and acted completely dismissive about it, waving it off as her following some sort of transcript, "It's just service with a smile, Y/N."

He insisted, but you just forced a smile on your face. You fiddled with the cutlery that rested to your side and toyed with the napkin as well, offering yourself a distraction rather than look up at him for the moment.

"Yeah, too many smiles in your direction, though, if you ask me," you sassed, and he laughed loudly at that.

"Babe, something the matter?" he raised an eyebrow curiously, an amused grin on his face. Before you had the time to open your mouth and retort, she soon returned with the menus.

She carelessly laid yours down in front of you while she actually handed Gojo his, making sure to brush her hand over his as she did so. You glared at her but your look went missed, and you were doing a pretty good job of keeping your mouth shut so far, no matter how badly you wanted to tell this girl to back off.

She started babbling on about something that he should try on the menu, ensuring to flash him her smile and bat her lashes some more. She was giggling like he had told the funniest joke, and you were clutching onto a fork tightly with a hand, thinking about digging it deep into her neck. Gojo was a bad influence on you. She brought her hand closer to his so she could flip through the pages and show him exactly what she was describing. You cleared your throat and decided to speak up, because this girl was getting on your last nerve.

"Could you give us a few moments to decide what we're having? Thank you," you gave her possibly the most painfully forced smile you could muster, somehow managing to keep a level head when she withdrew her hand and acknowledged you for the first time since she'd stop at your table. She simply nodded and smiled meekly before walking away, and Gojo’s bright blue eyes shot towards you to give you a look that was nothing short of sheer surprise at how sharp you'd been in your manner of speech.

"Did I miss something?" he cracked up laughing, "My little kitten's got a sharp set of claws, eh?" he remarked before his laughter starting to die down. "I thought she was a rather nice lady," he said with another chuckle.

He scanned over the menu to find a dish that stood out to him. You squinted at him and leaned into him, lightly bringing the menu down to have him look you in the eyes instead.

"Really, Satoru? I wouldn't class the light touches on the hand, the needless giggling and overall acting like a fucking schoolgirl with a crush as just 'being nice'," you snapped slightly, "she's flirting with you, a lot, and I'm sick of it."

"Oh, I see where this is going," he said with a knowing smirk that stretched its way across his lips a few seconds later. You noticed this and your hand targeted your menu in an instant as some form of shield to hide behind to avoid the stares he was giving you, and he lowered your menu down just like you had done to him.

"I think somebody's jealous when she really doesn't need to be," he sang and kept his eyes trained on your face. "So what if she's flirting a little bit? I'm not interested in the slightest," he told you, and you heaved a sigh before he continued, "you have nothing to worry about, my sweet," he said with a smirk, amused with your envy.

"Seriously? You mean that?" you asked, nibbling on your lower lip.

"Course I do," he said, "she could be on her knees begging for my cock and I would say no if that'd make you feel better about it," he finished, and you laughed at that.

"I'm not even feeling that hungry anymore," you said, "she's just so irritating," you huffed, and he looked at you like he was thinking of something until his brain hatched an idea.

"Forget about dinner, I know what will cheer you up, c'mon," he stretched his arm out for you to grab his hand, and you quickly took it in yours. He walked with you until you both reached the closest bathroom - the women's room.

"Um, Satoru, I don't think you're supposed to be in here," you quipped with a short giggle.

"Oh trust me, I am," he cooed. Once the door was closed, he lifted you up by your thighs and pinned you to the wall, his lips attacking your neck in little bites and harsh kisses, not caring about the purple marks he left in his wake.

"Satoru," you gasped his name out, much to his delight.

You let out a soft moan of approval through your own lips as you lifted your hips up in absolute desperation, wanting more of him, and wanting it now.

"I only have eyes for you, Y/N, you and only you," he told you as he continued to cover your neck in wet kisses, and you couldn't help lean your head back to give him easier access. Realizing that you both were still out in the open, he carried you into the bathroom stall, pressing you up against the nearest and sturdiest wall.

He tugged his pants down from his hips and quickly pushed his boxers down to his knees, just far enough to allow his thick and fully hard member to spring up. He nearly ripped your panties down your thighs and threw them to the floor, holding you up with one hand and using the other to glide up your thigh, one finger slipping up your wet folds. He grinned knowingly before he leaned in to growl in your ear, "Look at how wet for me you already are," he hummed, "mm, how bad do you want me?"

Just the slightest touch drove you absolutely wild, and you seemed to forget everything that took place before he brought you in this stall. You keened in the back of your throat and rocked your hips down against his finger, moaning out, "Fuck me, Satoru. I need you so bad. Please!" you cried.

"Well when you say it like that, I don't see how I could say no," he cooed. He grasped his member firmly until he was lined up to your entrance, exhaling loudly as he crouched down to push in. He took his time entering your body at first, watching the pleasure overcome your features. Once you had adjusted to his girth, he set a rough pace, taking you quickly in broad deep strokes that jarred your body and caused your head to slam back into the wall as you surrendered yourself to his movements, hips grinding forward in an attempt to keep tempo. He doesn't waste time going slow, knowing you both needed relief fast.

Grasping his shoulders tightly, you moaned, the volume increasing with each thrust until you were sure you would both get caught.

"That's it, let the whole goddamn restaurant know who's fucking you," he managed to say between his own moans and grunts. "You're doing so good, baby, so good," he praised.

You answered with an even louder moan, shoving your hips forward in a demand for him to go faster, grinding your clit against his pelvis whenever you could.

"Your cunt feels so fucking perfect, squeezing me like this, fuck," he ground out.

He obliged your command, snapping his hips into yours relentlessly, the sounds spilling from your lips urging him on.

"You look so good baby, you always do," he uttered through a pant, "you fucking drive me crazy." He quickly added, "Do you know how beautiful you look when you're all stretched out on my cock?"

One hand gripped onto your hair and he tugged backwards just enough to show you dominance as he pounded into you with no mercy, the sounds of your high pitched moans bouncing off the walls, mixed with his deep grunts and the sound of hot skin slapping against skin.

"Look at you, you're always so fucking pretty, so fucking perfect like this," he told you. His hips moved in the most sinful way, filling you up just perfectly, and he seemed to find that special spot inside you so skillfully, making you cry out in ecstasy.

"You like that, baby? You like how good I make you feel? Good girl, moaning for me and showing the entire diner who's gonna make you come," he hissed into your ear as his thrusts became more erratic, slamming into you again and again as he kept his wild pace up.

"Mmmm!" you hummed. You threw your head back and arched your torso sharply, screaming out in pleasure when your body started to quake with the sensation of your orgasm barreling towards you. His fingers left little purple prints on your hips at how tight he was squeezing your hips, knowing you were both close to your climax.

"Show me how much you like it, come for me," he rasped.

He maintained the angle of his thrusts, continually hitting a sensitive spot within your body until you were convulsing in his arms, orgasm rocking you to the very core. He wasn't far behind, taken over the edge by the tight clenching or your walls around his member.

Exhaling loudly, he relaxed his body against yours as you both came down from your peaks. The wall was the only thing keeping you both up as you wilt, exhausted from your spontaneous lovemaking. Finding the energy to pull back, he kissed you gently, running his fingers through your hair to fix the disrupted locks. You smiled into the kiss, body buzzing from your orgasm and heart glowing at his gestures.

You both cleaned up as best as you could in the stall, he helped adjust the skirt of your dress before moving to fix his own disarrayed hair.

"You had no reason to be jealous, Y/N, like I said I only have eyes for your pretty little face," he nuzzled his nose against yours, and you did the same in return, laughing with each other.

"Thank you, Satoru," you said with a soft giggle when you stepped out of the bathroom stall with him.

"Anything for you, babe," he told you as he intertwined his fingers with yours, walking out with you, "now let's go eat," he started, "we can even put on a little show for her under the table so she knows not to mess with you," he suggested with a loud laugh.

"I like the sound of that," you replied with a broad smirk on your face. That wasn't a bad idea.

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[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

champagne problems (part 1)

here's my first part of my modern no magic "champagne problems" singer-songwriter quarantine thomastair AU! happy birthday to @foxglove-airmid even though I don't think it's your birthday where you live anymore (and I still haven't posted zia's birthday fic, it'll happen I swear)!

no content warnings for this part (besides maybe quarantine), but future parts will include discussions of mental illness, substance abuse, and a suicide attempt

obviously, the song alastair "wrote" in the fic is not mine, it's by taylor swift! and a few of the lyrics have been changed!

Masterlist | AO3

Thomas breathed out a sigh of relief as he lugged his suitcase up onto the fifth floor landing.

“‘Ere we are,” Piers announced as he unlocked the door.

Thomas was utterly exhausted, such was the result of taking a redeye flight across the Atlantic during a global pandemic, but any idea of rest that he’d had was interrupted when he heard the sound of piano flood the apartment.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Piers nodded, “One of my flatmates, the walls are paper thin. He can’t record at the studio right now, but he’s trying to finish his EP, so it’s been a bit noisier around here. He’ll take a break soon, hopefully.”

Thomas shook his head. “It’s no problem. Thank you, again, for allowing me to stay here. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as the quarantine is up.”

“Of course. You’ve got the couch as long as you need it. Couldn’t just hang you out to dry, could I? Although, you did pick a god awful time to move to the city, if I do say so myself.”

Thomas sat down on the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. It was more comfortable than the flight or the airport, at least. “I know… I considered postponing the move, but the visa was so difficult to get, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. They say this will all blow over in a couple of weeks, but borders are closing and I heard talk of them suspending all pending visa applications. I didn't know how long it would be if I waited, if the job was even still here for me at all.” Although at first entrance, the music had seemed to be a nuisance, it now comforted him. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it quite reminded him of the days Alastair’s playing had filled their flat…

“Where did you say you were working again? At a record company?”

“Yeah. I’m just doing pretty basic stuff for now, but if I ever do want to record my own music, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

“Hm,” Piers said, gesturing to the room the music was coming from. “Perhaps you’ll get on with him well, then. Would you like some tea?”

Thomas nodded and Piers went to start the teapot. Piers continued, “Though I suppose he's more of the tortured artist type. Very reserved, quite prickly. I didn't even meet him until a couple weeks after I moved in here because he was off in some psychiatric hospital.” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one for gossip. “My other roommate’s nice, though, I think you’ll like him. He-”

“How did you end up in New York, again? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Piers dove into the subject change quite readily, explaining his uni - or college - years in New York City and his decision to stay afterwards. Thomas had tuned most of it out, truthfully. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, but he was rather exhausted, and Piers was wearing thin on his patience.

As the kettle started to whine, Thomas heard the musician begin to sing, and he froze. It sounded so much like Alastair. But it couldn't be, could it? With over 8 million people living in the city, he would not end up in Alastair's apartment by accident. His Alastair was certainly reserved and prickly, but it wasn't possible. It must be like all those times he thought he saw him on a street he'd never walked or heard his laugh in a café he'd never been to. Just his mind, tricking him. Even if he knew that voice so well, despite not hearing it in so long.

“It’s quite good, isn’t it? His first single just dropped.” Piers asked, bringing over his cup of tea. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring intently at the door.

Thomas took the cup. “Hm? Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

“You should look it up. It’s called “champagne problems” by Simurgh. That’s spelled- Well, it should come up.”

The name Simurgh sounded familiar, but Thomas couldn’t put his finger on where he knew it from. At Piers’ insistence, he pulled out his phone and brought up the song. As he skimmed through the first few lines, a cold feeling settled in his stomach.

“You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse”

“Simurgh,” Thomas realized.

“Yeah, I think it’s Arabic or something.”

It took Thomas a moment to process that Piers was responding to him. “It’s Persian.” He was certain that Alastair would have some very stern words to say if he heard Piers confusing the two, actually. Thomas had admittedly let his Farsi skills deteriorate quite a bit since the breakup, but he was fairly certain the name came from the Shahnameh. There was no doubt in Thomas’ mind now: he was staying in Alastair’s apartment, and Alastair’s first single was about one of the most painful days in Thomas’ life. “I, er, I used to study it.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right!” Piers launched into a tangent that Thomas tuned out as he read through the rest of the page.

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems”

“Thomas? Are you alright?”

He realized then that his hand was trembling so badly that his tea nearly spilled. He used his other hand to steady it. “Oh, uh, yes, I’m just tired.”

“Perhaps you should rest. I can ask Alastair to quiet down for a while-”

“No!” he exclaimed rather too forcefully. “No, that’s not necessary. I’d just rather not talk, if that’s alright.”

Piers nodded.

Thomas kept reading.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems”

Of all the songs, why did he release the one about him? Why was it about a memory still so painful in Thomas’ heart, all of these years later? He remembered it so well, standing there, alone, shattered into a million pieces.

“You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating”

He was fairly certain that Barbara had been more excited than even he was, confident that Alastair would accept, and so very proud of her baby brother, all grown up. She’d been furious when it fell apart, but it was her who stood with him during the aftermath, who boarded him onto a train to Edinburgh to visit Eugenia when he couldn’t stand to be in the same city as him any longer, who went through his phone, blocking all of Alastair’s accounts so that he could obsess over him no longer, who comforted him as he wept and held him as he picked the pieces of himself back up again.

And all the more sour was the memory in light of her death.

“Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems”

He looked up at Piers, who had fortunately become enthralled with something on his phone and was no longer paying Thomas any mind. He lifted the teacup gingerly to his lips, but he felt far too sick to take a drink.

“You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems”

A reason, that’s all Thomas had wanted. Just any explanation. He understood if they were moving too fast, or perhaps he’d misread something, but he just didn’t understand it.

Why? Why can’t you tell me why? I deserve an explanation, Alastair. Please, anything.

I… I’m sorry, Thomas.

Stop it! Stop apologizing! We can just go home and pretend this never happened, please, forget about all of it, it was a stupid idea-

Thomas, stop. I shouldn’t’ve… This was a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

That was the moment Thomas felt his heart stop beating.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through”

Despite the nearly two decades Thomas had spent in London before Alastair, it was never the same without him. He saw him everywhere he went, despite knowing he was thousands of miles away. After graduating uni that May, he accepted a spot at a graduate program in Spain and didn’t look back.

“One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "You’re the only one I want by my side, What a shame you’re fucked in the head," you said”

Those were the words that haunted Thomas’ nightmares, even now.

It’s you! It’s only you for me! It was always going to be you! But I can see now that I was never going to be enough for you, you and your secrets and walls and your lies. It’s a shame… it’s a shame you’re so fucked in the head, Alastair. You’ll never truly love anyone, will you? You’re not physically capable of it.

Alastair hadn’t responded. Thomas had wanted a rise out of him, any reaction at all, despite knowing how lethal and volatile Alastair could become when provoked. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything in his steeled expression. He’d simply looked down, apologized again for any pain that he’d caused, and left.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

Thomas and his sister left for Edinburgh that night, and when he’d returned to London, Alastair was gone.

“Well, you'll find the real thing instead Who'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems”

Thomas couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone again, not now and certainly not then. He’d dated in Madrid, but it had always stayed casual. He’d made sure of it. He could see now that he and Alastair had gotten together quickly, moved in together quickly, done all of it very quickly. After all, he’d fallen hard and fast. He gave all of himself to Alastair, and he’d nearly lost all of himself in the process.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket New picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“You won't remember all my Champagne problems”

Now, he wondered what the rest of the story was. He’d convinced himself that Alastair had never loved him, that he was heartless and cruel, though he’d known that wasn’t true. Could Alastair have written this song if he’d never truly loved him? Perhaps he was a sociopath.

Thomas felt like he should run. Like he should pick up his bag and dart out of the apartment before Alastair could notice him, find some hotel somewhere with undoubtedly extraordinary high rates and just pretend like this never happened. He could get back on a plane and go back home to his parents and delete his phone browser history and pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he could not move.

He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before Alastair’s door opened. He looked up with a start.

“Thomas,” Alastair breathed. He stood wide eyed, flushed.

“Do you two already know each other then?” Piers asked.

There was a moment of silence before Thomas cleared his throat. “We used to,” he said, looking down.

“I, er, I forgot that your friend was coming today,” Alastair told Piers. “It’s quite a long journey from London, you should have told me, I would have been quieter.”

Thomas considered correcting him for a moment, but decided not to. “Don’t worry about it. I heard you had your first big release. Congratulations.”

Alastair gave an awkward nod. “Thank you. Right, well, I’ll just…” He rushed over to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’ll try to be a bit quieter.”

“Don’t- It’s fine, really. In fact, I’m sure there’s some hotel in the area I can stay at for now, actually-”

“Well, don’t leave on my account,” Alastair interrupted. “We agreed to let you stay here, and the city’s a bloody mess right now. I’ll stay out of your hair, Thomas.”

Thomas only nodded as Alastair disappeared back behind his bedroom door.

Thanks for reading! Taglist (ask to be +/-): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @itsjusta-j-really

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

[dreamypeaches]

don’t wake up pt. 7 (END) | rafe cameron x reader

summary: rafe gives you the fairy tale night he promised

warnings: SMUT (unprotected), cursing, alcohol use

word count: 4k

a/n: so...here it is. the final part. i can’t believe i actually finished a series. thank you for all the support, it means so much to me!! i am really proud of this whole series and seeing y’all validate me makes me cry. please enjoy :) and thank you.

series masterlist

Walking into Midsummers was one of the most nerve-racking things you had ever done. The few times you’d come before, you were working. Never had you excepted to walk in as a guest, never mind on the arm of Rafe Cameron. But now you were here, and you in a state of pure bliss. Most eyes were on you, but you hardly even noticed as you giggled like a school girl. Rafe’s hand was in yours, fingers interlaced as he pulled you through the party, glancing at you every few moment with a dopey smile.

His arm wraps around your shoulder as he takes a flute of champagne. He hands it to you before grabbing one for himself.

“I believe this was the first part of my master plan,” He says, tipping his glass towards you. You clink yours against it with a smile before you both down it in one go.

“Expensive champagne, check,” you giggle, the sparkling liquid already making you feel just as bubbly. Rafe’s hand found it’s place on your hip, holding you close as you surveyed the party. Another waiter passed by with a tray of champagne and you each grabbed one, taking your time to savor it.

Rafe was still in a state of disbelief. Just a couple of hours ago he had been ready to drink himself into a coma. Now he had you at his side, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt, and he felt on top of the world. Squeezing you against his side, he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“You look so beautiful tonight.”

Your cheeks heat up as you turn to meet his eyes. You’re able to give him the briefest of kisses before you are interrupted.

“This is so weird.”

The smiles drop from your faces as your faced with John B, Kie, and Sarah. Trying to separate from Rafe, his arm tightens around your waist as he give his sister and her friends a tight smile.

“And?” He says, his tone vaguely threatening. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin this night.

“Don’t look at me like that, Rafe, you should be thanking me,” Sarah says with a smirk. “I created this,” she motions to you, “and she is perfect. Don’t ruin it!”

Rafe looks down at you, a small smile returning to his face.

“I won’t.”

“Seriously, dude, JJ already wants to kick your ass. Don’t give him a reason,” Kie chimes in. Rafe scoffs and shakes his head.

“I don’t plan on it! Now fuck off, I’m trying to show my girl a good time.”

John B and Kie pretend to gag as they walk off before shooting you a genuine smile. You sighed when they were out of ear shot, feeling as if a great weight was suddenly off your chest.

Bouncing in front of Rafe, you give him a wide smile as you move your body in a victory dance.

“That went so well!”

You twist and shimmy, reaching your hands out towards him, urging him to join you. How could he resist your charm? Especially when your dancing is the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. He takes your hands and pulls your forward, making you wrap your arms around his neck while he wraps his own around your waist.

“Did you not hear the part where they threatened to sick your guard dog on me?” Rafe scoffed.

“Yes, and I agree with them. You break my heart again I will send him after you. Pope too. He may not seem scary, but he’s got some fire in there.”

Rafe’s smile falter slightly when you mention him breaking your heart. Though he quickly covers it up, you notice the crack in his armor. Pulling him in for a kiss, you try to soothe his mind by swiping your thumb across his temple. You wished you could just reach in and pull every bad thought from his brain and throw them in the ocean. He had hurt you, this is true, but you would never in your life wish an ounce of pain onto him. The wounds on each of your hearts were still healing, and it would take time. But tonight, you just wanted to be happy. You wanted both of you to be happy.

“Will you dance with me?” You whisper against his lips.

“Already promised I would,” He replies, pulling away to lead you to the dance floor. He moves you closer to the edge of the group of dancers. Close to the beach, the pair of you are covered in slight shadow, slightly secluded from the party passing around you.

You never thought you could miss another persons touch this much. The past few days without Rafe, you had found yourself craving the feeling of him against you. From the way he was acting tonight, you were certain he felt the same. His hand had yet to leave your body since you met him outside. His hand was always holding your own, gripping your hip as he wraps his arm around you, cupping your cheek as he kisses you. Right now, his hands found a home on your lower back, holding you close as you sway to the music. You dance through a few songs, basking in each other’s love, before Rafe speaks.

“You are so…exquisite,” He says. The look in his eyes contains so much love you almost drown in it.

“Are we playing scrabble? That was easily a 20 point word, got an ‘x’ and a ‘q’ in there.”

“How about a few more words? You are…” He places a kiss on your cheek, “alluring.”

A kiss on the other cheek. “Stunning.”

On your jaw. “Ravishing.”

Your neck. “Heavenly.”

Your collarbone. “And drop dead sexy.”

His lips return to yours. This kiss is more passionate and needy than any of the others earlier that night. The shock and excitement of being back together again has worn off, and now there is just a deep need and urgency to be as close as possible. He starts to trail kisses across your jaw and down your neck, when you are once again interrupted. Someone clears their throat behind Rafe.

Rafe is suddenly ramrod straight, back stiff as he recognizes the disappointed aura radiating from his father. You took his hand as he turned, squeezing it to let him know you are there.

“So, this is her? The mysterious girl? Were you planning on introducing me at any point?” Ward Cameron questions, arms crossed at his chest. Rafe clears his throat, grip tightening on your hand.

“Um, dad, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.”

“Right, one of Sarah’s Pogue friends. We’ve met before, I believe?”

“Yes, sir. It’s nice to see you again,” You say, plastering on a smile. After everything Rafe told you about the man, you wanted nothing more than to give him a piece of your mind, maybe even knock his stupid teeth out. But you restrained yourself, not wanting to ruin the night.

“Well, don’t let me interrupt your night. Just try to be more modest, Rafe, please?” He starts to turn away, but pauses to say, “Congratulations. You seem very happy.”

The stiffness rushes out of Rafe, his hand nearly goes limp in your own.

“I think that’s the nicest things he’s ever said to me.”

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you tug on his arm.

“Then let’s celebrate! More champagne!”

You find another waiter and grab two glasses, the two of you downing them in only a few sips.

The night passed like a dream. You and Rafe became lost in each other, in the pure bliss and love that you radiated. You danced and laughed and drank and ate and held onto each other for dear life. The bubble you had started your relationship in was gone, allowing anyone to gaze in on you. You were quick to realize your worries weren’t valid. Sure, people were looking at you, but you could handle a few strange looks and whispered comments if it meant you got to be with Rafe like this all the time.

You ran into the Pogues a few times during the night, including JJ and Pope, who were both working for Heyward. The tension between the two Pogues and Rafe had been thick. A lot of threatening glances and passive aggressive comments were shared. The three boys were about two seconds from whipping their dicks out and measuring them before you pulled Rafe away, rolling your eyes at the testosterone in the air.

It was easier with Topper and Kelce. The moment you had seen Kelce, you pulled him into a bone crushing hug, thanking him profusely. Rafe almost had to pry you off Kelce, trying his best to hide his obvious jealousy. Topper, on the other hardly said hello. You didn’t mind, and Kelce made up for it by practically saving your relationship.

Once Rafe finally forced you to say good bye to his best friends, you complained to him about the inherent misogyny you had experienced that night. A speech spurred on by the liquid stars moving inside you.

“The fact that I could hug your best friend and you and my best friends want to rip each other’s throats out is ridiculous. And do you know who’s fault it is? You fucking men. Getting all protective and territorial over me. Why don’t you go pee in a bush or something and let me handle myself.”

Rafe chuckled at you.

“You’re right, angel, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you better be,” You replied with a tipsy smirk. Rafe laughed louder at you and wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging your back against his chest. He peppered kisses down your neck, the softest touches that tickled and made you giggle.

Midsummers was starting to wind down. The older guests and people with children at home  were the first to leave, and everyone else began to trickle out after. The party was coming to a close. Staff were starting to clean up around the more drunken patrons. The dance floor, to the center of which Rafe pulled you, was practically empty. He made you stand in the middle, giving you a kiss and running over to the stage where a band had stood only an hour before. Now there was just a speaker playing a playlist someone hit shuffle on.

You watched Rafe fiddle with something, when the opening beats of Dreams by Fleetwood Mac floated from the speakers. He jogged back over to you, a grin on his face as he takes your hand. Pulling you close, he keeps his one hand clasped in yours while the other rests on your hip. Your hand rests on his shoulder, slowly moving to play with the hairs at the base of his neck. He begins to sway you in slow circles, your head resting against his shoulder. You hum along to the music for a few bars before sighing.

“This is a sad song, you know.”

“I mean, the words might be sad, but it doesn’t make me sad at all. Because all I can think about when I hear this song is you.” You grin into his chest.

You’re silent for the rest of the song. Despite the long night and the exhaustion in your bones, neither of you wants this night to end. Your minds are wide awake, taking in every second.

You and Rafe continue swaying as the music fades out. He leans down to place a kiss below your ear before whispering.

“Did you happen to receive my other gift?”

You smirk up at him, your eyes suddenly clouded with lust.

“Why don’t you find out?”

Eyes darkening, Rafe licks his lips and pulls you away from the nearly empty party, down towards the beach. You’re forced to pull your shoes off as Rafe leads you down the sand. Eventually, you reach a patch of trees that create a small, secluded area on the beach. There is a few chairs and towels hanging around, a box off to the side, signs of life littered across the small stretch. Rafe brings towards the back. He grabs a large blanket from the box and spreads it out before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. He begins to place open mouth kisses down your neck, nipping at the skin in some places making you gasp.

“What is this place?” You question.

“A Kook hangout we made a few years ago. Don’t worry, no one comes here this late,” He reassures you before continuing his assault on your neck. One hand tangles itself in your hair, pulling it to give himself better access to you. The other hand slides down your side, grabbing at the skirt of your dress and bunching it up, revealing your bare thigh to the open air. You gasp at the contrast of the cool hair and his warm hand as it trails up to the waistband of your lacy underwear. His finger ghosts across your slit over the fabric, making you whimper. He suddenly pulls away from you and shoves you gently forward.

You turn to face him and feel your core ache at the look he’s giving you. A cocky smirk graces his lips while his eyes are burning with hunger and lust.

“Strip,” He commands. You do as he says, never breaking eye contact as you tug at the dress, letting it pool at your feet.

Rafe let’s out a fuck under his breath as he takes you in. Clad in the lingerie he had bought for you, this image was one he had been dreaming of since he purchased the fabric. It’s white, just like your dress, adding to the already heavenly glow the moonlight casts on you.You go to remove the crown of white daisies on your head but he stops you.

“Don’t. You look beautiful in it.”

Your cheeks heat up as you slowly lower your hands down to your sides. You feel yourself melting under his gaze.  He licks his lips before he dives in, holding your face between his hands as he crashes his mouth to yours. The kiss is hungry, and you prepare yourself to be absolutely devoured by the man in front of you. Not that you minded.

Fingers dance down your sides and into he waistband of your underwear. The teasing touch of before is gone as he presses against your clit, making you scream in shock and pleasure. He holds the pressure, starting to move his fingers in slow circles. Your eyes roll back, so much pleasure hitting all at once like a tidal wave. Rafe’s other and holds the back of you neck, pulling you away from the bruising kiss.

“I’m going to make you cum some many times tonight, you won’t be able to walk for a week. Are you ready, angel?”

You give a weak nod and a whimper, only to whine when he moves all touch. His hands move instead to grip your ass, giving one cheek an agonizing slap.

“I need words.” He gives another slap to end his statement.

“Yes, Rafe. I’m ready. I want you.”

A primal grin spreads across his face. He pushes your shoulder, nodding toward the blanket.

“Lay down for me.”

You lay on your back across the blanket, allowing you to look up at the moon and stars, but your focus is not on that ethereal sight. Instead, you are focused on the sinful man in front of you, who removes his bow tie and jacket. In no time he is undressed down to his boxers and kneels down between your legs.

He leans forward to capture your lips for a moment, before moving down your body. He makes sure to leave hickies across your collarbone and chest, peppering a few on your stomach as well. He snaps at the elastic band with his teeth before for pulling the underwear down with his fingers.

“You look so fucking beautiful in these, I want to see you in them again. We can’t go ruining them on the first night.”

As he speaks, his breath fans across the expanse of your stomach, but it is his words that make you shiver. He pulls the garment down your legs slowly, allowing the anticipation to build until you are squirming for his touch. He removes your bra next, your nipples hard in the cool ocean air. His finger ghost across them, sending waves of pleasure down to your pussy.  

“Please, Rafe. I’ve missed you so much, missed your touch so much. Don’t keep me waiting,” You moan, but there is no threat in your words. You both know exactly who is in charge here.

“Did you think about me, angel? Did you touch yourself and wish it were my fingers making you cum?”

You bite you lip and nod as you make eye contact with Rafe. He smirks and one of his fingers tease your entrance, gathering wetness before plunging in. Moans drip from your lips as he sets a steady pace, fingers curling up to touch your g-spot. He adds a second, then a third. He kisses you neck as he speeds up, other hand moving to rub your clit. You are a moaning mess, clenching around his fingers as you get closer and closer to your climax.

“Is this what you wanted? You want to cum all over my fingers?”

“Yes! Yes, please, I want to cum. Can I cum?”

He groans at your pleading tone, fingers starting to pound into you.

“Cum, angel.”

You do so with a scream, back arching off the ground as he slows his movements only slightly. He replaces the hand on your clit with his mouth, giving the bundle of nerves a few kitten licks before pressing down on it with the flat of his tongue.

“Fuck!” you scream, still sensitive from your orgasm only seconds before. His fingers pick up the pace again, his tongue continuing to attack your clit. Your second orgasm comes quickly, and he removes his fingers, not allowing you time to adjust to the emptiness before he starts to fuck you with his tongue. An arm lays across your torso, holding you down as you buck into his mouth. His other hand moves to you clit, giving a much gentler touch than before. A few minutes later, Rafe is lapping up the juices of your third orgasm.

He sits up and grins at you, lips shining with your wetness. Your eyes are hooded, exhausted from the pleasure coursing through your veins. He kisses you, quick to deepen the kiss by plunging his tongue into you, allowing you to taste your self.

He pulls away to remove his boxers, lining himself up with your entrance when he returns. You hiss as the tip brushes across your clit as he gathers your wetness. He thrusts into you slowly with a low moan, savoring every inch of your pussy around his dick. You meet his eyes as he bottoms out, stilling inside of you for a moment. His face suddenly softens and he gives you a tender kiss.

“I love you,” He said

“I love you too,” You replied. The words leave your mouth wrapped around the promises of tomorrow, of spending another day on Earth with you. He kisses you again as he pulls almost all the way out, slamming back into you fully. You scream against his lips as he sets a brutal pace. He hikes one of you knees higher on his hip, hitting that spot inside of you that makes you see stars. A hand wraps around your throat, squeezing lightly as he fucks you into the sand.

Rafe never found you more beautiful than now. Your halo askew on top of your disheveled hair. Your tits bounce as he pounds into you, moving in rhythm with his hips. Moans and curses fall from your sweet lips and Rafe groans at the sight of your wide open mouth and closed eyes. An angel screaming for god as she faces the heavens. He squeezes your throat a little tighter.

“Say my fucking name, angel.”

“Fuck! Rafe! Rafe…please, Rafe!”

The new mantra spills from your mouth, sweet like honey. He catches it with his own lips, thrusting harder. You feel the sting of his hips snapping against yours and you love it.

You feel your legs start to shake as you approach your fourth orgasm, and Rafe can feel it to. He moves his hand to rub your clit but the pressure he gives it sends you over the edge. You scream his name, becoming a whimpering mess as he continues to fuck you.

“It’s too much…” You whimper but he quiets you with a kiss.

“One more. You’ve got one more for me, angel.”

He hooks one of your ankles on his shoulder and you moan as he hits you deeper than ever before. He continues to rub gentle shapes into you clit. As you get closer to the edge, you feel Rafe’s thrusts get sloppier. You clench around him as you cum, the feeling sending Rafe over right behind you.

He gives you a few more pumps before pulling out completely and collapsing next to you. You feel absolutely spent, breath heavy from the multiple orgasms of the night. You’re ready to curl into Rafe and pass out, but his finger linger down your body to your center.

“I can’t…” You manage to get out, but it fades into a moan as Rafe massages your clit slowly. He takes one of your nipples in his mouth, biting it lightly before sucking on it and pulling away with a pop.

“Just one more. Please, angel. You’re doing so good for me.”

You moan as he goes back to your breasts, sucking at biting at them as he continues to rub your clit slowly. Your sixth orgasm builds slowly, almost taking you by surprise. You cum with a quiet moan, legs shaking as Rafe brings you down from your high. He leaves a few more kisses on your collar bone before standing up, returning a few seconds later with another blanket. He pulls you close to him, covering the both of you in the blanket. You fall asleep quickly under the stars, body exhausted from the stress, excitement, and pleasure of the day.

Rafe awakens to the sunrise, orange rays scattering across your bodies Your chest rises and falls against his and he makes sure to memorize every part of your body. Yesterday had been blissful. For a moment, you both got to forget about the problems that surrounded your relationship. But it was a new day, and the rest of his time with you would be an uphill battle.

He had shit to work on, shit he would never want you to see. But he wanted you, hell, he needed you by his side through all of it. He trusted you to hold his fragile heart and prayed that you would allow him yours. He refused to shatter it again, especially when it was still mending. He would hold it tenderly and cherish it for the rest of his days.

The days ahead would be rough. There was a lot to talk about. But he thinks of that night beneath the stars over two months ago, when you found him. Neither of you knew it then, but when you sat beside him on the sand and spoke sweet words, you had taken his heart and never given it back. He didn’t mind, he knew you would keep it safe.

As he felt you stir beside him, he closed his eyes and pulled you closer, wanting to spend a little longer away from reality for a little longer. It was time, though. Time to love you wholly. Time to love himself as much as you loved him. Time to get his life together.

“Rafe,” You whisper, “it’s time to wake up.”

taglist:  @teenwaywardasgardian @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @obxmxybxnk @butgilinsky @juliarose21 @bluesiderudy @ilovejjmaybank @diverrdown @diverdcwn @mdlyncline @https-luna @broken-jj @nqbmf @ityagirljay @downbytheouterbanks @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @trinnwazheree

[commonwealthoccurences]

Companions React: Institute Offers Surgery To Intersex Sole

Note: Please let me know if I mishandled this or anything came across as insensitive so I can come back and fix it! I would hate to make anyone feel misrepresented or offended by the way this was written. Thank you and thank you for reading.

CW: Uh, a lot of anger and violence mentions. Lots of swearing.

The Scenario: Every time Sole sat the companion down for a serious conversation they lost about ten years off their life; no one ever did that to give good news. As soon as Sole announced they had something to tell the companion, they sat and looked up at Sole warily. After a moment, Sole took a deep breath and sat down across from them. “Do you know what intersex means?” They asked.

“Yeah.” The companion’s tone was more questioning than anything.

“I’m intersex. And I want… your opinion on something. The Institute offered, uhm, surgery. If you catch my drift.”

Cait:

Cait felt fury rise in her as soon as the words left Sole’s mouth. “And did ya ask for it first?” She stood, fists clenched.

Sole shook their head and looked down at their clasped hands, trying to push away their internal confliction to listen to Cait. “Then it’s none of their goddamn business, ya hear me? You’re perfect the way ya are, and unless taking up their offer is gonna make you happier, they can stick their offer where the sun don’t shine!” She was indignant, practically shouting by the end of her speech.

Sole laughed at Cait’s way with words, comforted by the fact that she was so furious on their behalf. “Thank you.” They replied quietly.

“Gods, they have nothin’ but audacity. Can you imagine?!” She was talking to herself at that point.

Cait paused and shook her head. “Now listen. I’m not gonna tell ya one way or another, ya know how I feel about them. If it would make ya happy it’s worth it. But never let anyone tell ya to change a goddamn thing. Especially not the Institute, of all people!”

Curie:

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. Why would they offer surgery if there’s nothing wrong?”

Sole laughed quietly. Curie was nowhere near naive, but she had yet to deal with the full spectrum of human ignorance. “It’s, uh. How do I put it? For some people, it makes them more comfortable since it’s what’s... expected.”

“And you? Would it make you more comfortable? That’s the only thing that matters.”

“I don’t know… I don’t think so. I think I’m just fine.”

“Then that’s it. You’re just fine. They should mind their own business.”

Curie stood, smoothing out the front of her shirt as she looked around thoughtfully. “Quite insulting that they were in your business like that.” She shook her head. “Disgraceful. They call themselves scientists, yet have no respect.”

Danse:

Danse had no hesitation when it came to getting angry at the Institute, but this was a whole different level. The absolute nerve astounded him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, reigning in his anger at the fact that they would so blatantly disrespect Sole. “How do you feel about it?” He asked. After all, their opinion was the most important.

“Offended, to be honest.” They let out a short, wry laugh. “I don’t think I want it.”

“There’s no reason to change yourself to appease the absolute ignorance of an institution that helps no one. They don’t have your best interests at heart, so unless getting the surgery would make you happier, I’ll make sure you get to blow the first charge when we get rid of them.”

Sole laughed. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Deacon:

“What?”

“They offered surgery.”

“No, I think I must’ve heard you wrong. You’re not saying they offered you surgery because you’re intersex, right?”

Sole nodded, biting at their bottom lip in discomfort. Deacon simply began to laugh dryly, though his clenched fists and the twitching of his upper lip showed he was very obviously not impressed, nor humored. “Bold bastards. I’m sorry they’d insult you like that, Sole, you deserve better.” There was a beat of silence. “I should’ve asked first; do you want the surgery? Would that make you happier?”

Sole shook their head. “No. I’m good the way I am.”

Deacon smiled and nodded, lifting his arm for a fistbump. “Exactly.”

The two stood and returned to their tasks, silence reigning in the small room as they both got lost in thought. After a couple moments of Deacon tinkering with his weapon and Sole writing down their inventory list, they were startled by Deacon slamming his screwdriver down. “The absolute nerve of them, though! What the fuck?”

Sole simply laughed in response, shaking their head. They had no idea either.

Gage:

“And you shot them, right? Their brains are currently splattered across their grossly clean walls, right?” Gage’s gaze was intensely stern.

Sole shook their head, tempted to laugh at his protectiveness. “No. I didn’t, don’t think I would’ve made it back in one piece if I did.”

“You’re not gonna listen to them, right? They’re sick as fuck, Sole, I wouldn’t trust their standard for anything as far as I could throw one of their scientists.”

“No, I didn’t listen to them. They’re considered fucked up for a reason, Gage. I know better. It just… sucked. That they thought it was obvious or something.” Sole shook their head and played with the sleeve of their shirt. “I dunno.”

“I’ll kill them. Say the word. I swear to God.”

Sole laughed. “You can’t take on the entire Institute, Gage.”

“Watch me. Those pieces of shit need to learn their place.”

Hancock:

Hancock said nothing and simply opened up his arms. Being confronted with the fact that certain parts of society considered you different was nothing strange to him, and he knew how much it could sting. When they accepted his offer and rose from their seat to fold themself into his arms, he felt his anger surge to a new level. How dare they make them feel this way? Carefully, he rubbed their back. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” They replied, voice muffled in his coat. “Just insulted, y’know.”

“Yeah, I get it, sweetheart.” Hancock moved his hand to squeeze their shoulder. “We’ll get those bastards back, and then some, yeah?”

Sole nodded and pulled away with a resigned sigh. “Don’t worry your pretty head over it. Their opinion means nothing, y’know? God knows I’ll have to ruin them if they stress you out.”

MacCready:

“Fu-fri-no, y’know what? They deserve it! Fucking pieces of shit!” Mac cursed, voice raised.

Sole looked up at him, a bit stunned by the outburst. “Sorry.” He muttered, turning his head away. “What did you tell them? How do you feel about it?”

They shrugged. “I don’t want it, I’m pretty sure. Thought about it a lot. I just wanted your opinion, I guess.”

“What the hell does my opinion have to do with it? Whatever makes you happy is priority, Sole. Both the Institute and I can get screwed if we try to interfere with that.”

They gave him a small smile. “Thanks Mac.”

MacCready nodded and reached over to squeeze their shoulder in reassurance. He shook his head at the situation, but gave them a smile. “It’s gonna be alright, Sole. Don’t take anything they say seriously.”

Nick:

Nothing about this surprised him, and he had to roll his eyes at the Institute’s audacity. “Yeah, sounds like them. What did you say?”

“I said I wasn’t interested. I don’t know, I thought about it and it’s not something I care to get done.”

Nick nodded and fumbled with his cigarette, watching the smoke plume thoughtfully. “As long as you’re happy, yeah? I’ll walk back into that hellhole and hold your hand the entire way if you need me to.”

Sole grinned. The detective was short with words, but he always knew what needed to be said. “Thanks, Nick, but that’s not something you’ll need to worry about.”

He tapped the ash off his cigarette. “Good. They’re idiots anyway, you don’t need to change a thing.”

Piper:

Piper hadn’t felt rage overcome her that way in such a long time. Her hands shook as she placed her head in her hands and took a deep breath. “Bastards!” She cursed, then, “Sorry, Blue. What did you say?”

Sole shook their head. “I said no.”

Piper nodded and smiled bitterly. “Good.” She stood and stepped away, biting at the skin next to her nails. “Who even says something like that out of the blue? Like that’s a normal offer to make?” She threw her hands up, eyebrows narrowed in enraged confusion.

Preston:

Preston resisted the urge to clench his jaw. Maybe this was something Sole wanted, maybe it would make them feel more comfortable, despite the fact that the offer was coming from somewhere disgusting. “How do you feel about it?”

“Kind of insulted, actually. It’s not really any of their business, and I definitely didn’t ask.”

Preston nodded and pressed his lips together, cracking his knuckles absentmindedly. “We should check in with Sturges on how close to complete the plan is.” The look in his eyes conveyed all the anger Sole needed to see.

They sighed. “It’s not worth getting riled up over, Preston, really. I dunno. I suppose it might’ve been coming from a place of concern, albeit ignorant concern.”

“I won’t start something over it if you don’t want me too, but there’s a few choice words I’d love to get their way before we blow them into the sky.”

X6-88:

X6’s expression grew colder. “There was a mistake.” He stated simply.

“No, Six. They meant it.”

“Which scientist was this? What team?” He asked, calm despite the chill his expression was sending through Sole.

“Uhm, I’m not sure the specifics of her team. Doctor O’hara, with the medical staff. I was in there for vaccinations.”

X6 nodded and stood, movements stiffer than usual, which was saying something. “And this question. It was invasive and disrespectful, if I wasn’t mistaken by your tone?”

Sole nodded, not sure where he was going with this line of conversation. “I will be… speaking to her supervisor.” They had to raise an eyebrow at the inflection they gave to “speaking.” They watched him leave, wondering if they should say something, before blowing out a sigh. They’d hate to be part of that team right now.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Lloyd Dobler

(Not my gif)(Requested via message)

(I kept the first date because I thought it was cute. Hope you don’t mind!)

- You and Lloyd technically didn’t meet until after he asked you out.

- Remember when you first went to highschool and you had no idea that half the school “existed”; for lack of a better term. And every year you would somehow encounter someone that you didn’t know went to your school but now that you did know, you would just see them everywhere? That was you and Lloyd.

- It was after you entered your senior year of highschool that Lloyd had first seen you in the hallways. He had a thing for you the moment he saw you and spent the entire year arriving at one of his classes late because he just couldn’t take his eyes off you whenever you stood and waited for class to start.

- The only reason he didn’t ask you out during the year is because he just couldn’t work up the nerve, especially knowing that he’d have to see you the rest of the year if you rejected him.

- But soon enough, graduation came and he figured that he just had to ask you out or else he was very likely going to explode.

- So he went to “his office” and searched the phone book for your name, scanning through page after page until he found it and nervously dialed up the number.

- Well, I think you know how that phone call went. He spent the first minute or so rambling which gave you the time to skim through your yearbook and see exactly who was calling. And frankly... you were surprised to see that the voice on the other end of the phone was such a handsome boy.

“Lets go out. You wanna go out?”

- Let’s be honest here, Lloyd won’t relent until he gets; at least, one date with you. And why would you refuse? Like I said before: you saw him and saw that he was cute. And though you really didn’t know him, what was the worst that could happen when going out with someone that was so nervous while just talking on the phone with you.

- So you agreed ...which prompted him to ask you to repeat yourself a few times because he was in complete disbelief. Afterwards, he told you he’d pick you up at eight before saying goodbye and prancing to the living room to yell with his nephew in celebration.

- For your first date, he took you to the graduation party where you spent the night mingling with a lot of his surprisingly chill friends and periodically meeting back with him while he played keymaster.

- Your night; and morning, went pretty much the same after that. You were forced to drive around for three hours to give Mike a ride home, then you stopped at 7/11 and talked while you walked the rest of the way to your house; whereupon getting there he confessed that he wanted to see you as much as he could.

- The two of you share your first kiss a few dates later which only takes about three days since he asks you to hang out nearly every day. He’d just parked in front of your house, both of you saying a cheerful goodbye when he leant over and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, one you’d returned happily before saying a final goodbye and getting out of his car.

- Well, after that the two of you are inseparable and neither of you would have it any other way, especially not him.

- Constant Pda. Lloyd is sort of obsessed with you and wants to be touching, kissing, and holding you whenever he can, no matter where you are.

-  Hugs. He likes to bury his face in the crook of your neck when you do. 

- Having his arm around you most of the time. He likes having you pressed into his side. 

- Neck kisses. 

- Quick and chaste kisses or long and passionate ones; depends on the mood. 

- Don't mind him, he’s just absentmindedly playing with your hair. 

- Handholding. He takes your hand whenever he can, he likes having that little connection. 

- Bridal carrying and piggyback rides. 

- He’s not a big pet name person; mainly because he loves your name, but if he knows that you like them, he’ll gladly use them just to make you happy. 

- Lets be real here; Lloyd would gladly cuddle with you for hours on end. He loves having you as close to him as possible so never worry about trying to snuggle with him, he wants you to. 

- He’s a big spoon and he will refuse to let you go if you really don’t have to leave. He’ll tell you to go back to sleep or tighten his arms around you whenever you shift, not wanting you to move away from him even for a moment. 

- He’s the best at comforting and reassuring you and he genuinely never gets tired of it. He’ll sit with and talk to you for hours if he has to because the most important thing for him is seeing you happy. 

-  He’s your own, personal cheerleader. He’s always at all your events, clapping the loudest, and turning towards whoever's next to him, saying a “she’s great, isn’t she?”. He’s so proud. 

- He’s always gushing about you to people, even before the two of you started dating. Corey has to hear about you constantly though deep down she really doesn’t mind. 

- Speaking of his friends, you end up getting close to a lot of them, especially Corey. You let her rant to you whenever she needs to and she reminds you how important and special Lloyd is. 

- He sort of tells Corey and his other girlfriends everything so be prepared for her to know if you’ve “made it” or not or when you’ve had your first kiss. She tells you pretty much everything about her so it’s sort of a fair deal. 

- Getting close with his sister and nephew. You love watching him and the little boy play with each other and he loves the fact that you think it’s cute whenever he does. 

- His sister loves to tease him; and the two of you honestly. 

- He never gets annoyed while he waits for you to get ready. He likes having the excuse to watch you while you do your makeup or brush your hair, or just helping you choose an outfit and put it on. 

- Tons of compliments. He thinks you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread and you best believe you’re going to know that. 

- Lloyd is ...so respectful? His mother raised him right and there’s so many points in your relationship where you wonder how you somehow managed to hit the jackpot. 

- I’m just gonna say it: he’s a pushover. You have Lloyd wrapped around your little finger so be nice to him because you’re his world and he’d do anything for you. 

- If you ask him to carry you’re things, he’ll do it. Ask him to do something he normally hates, he’ll do it. Ask to do something most boys would say no to, he’ll do it. He just loves seeing you happy. 

- He sort of jumps to agree with a lot of what you say; especially in the beginning of your relationship, because he wants you to think that the two of you are really compatible and that he’s the perfect guy for you. 

- Having a bunch of pictures together. He certainly has a bunch of pictures of you. 

-  Watching him train, fight, workout, etc. He pushes himself as hard as he can to impress you, occasionally hurting himself because he’s distracted ...so maybe it isn't a good idea for you to be there with him. 

- This boy lives for your praise. Tell him he’s handsome or that he did a good job and he’s all smiles. 

- He sort of loves hearing you talk and learning more about you. He eats up all your stupid stories like they’re the greatest things in the world. 

-  Talking on the phone pretty much everyday. He usually calls to say good morning or goodnight, or to see if you want to hang out. 

- Occasionally deep conversations. Sometimes something one of you says will just spur a sort of existential explanation/speech that neither of you really anticipated.

- Sooo many dates. You have at least three every week. Like I said: you’re inseparable. 

- He’s pretty much willing to do anything with you. He just likes being in your company, he doesn’t really care what you’re doing together.

- Going to convenience stores. 

- Beach dates. 

- Taking walks around gardens and other pretty places. You admire the scenery, he admires you. 

- Driving around with him all night. You don’t even have to talk for most of it, you just enjoy exploring the town and listening to the radio with him. 

- Cuddling in the early hours of the morning because you’ve spent all night out with him. 

- Sitting together in his backseat, either making out or “making it”. 

- He’s always prepared wherever you go. He always has whatever you need and is so considerate that you just want to kiss him. Food, entertainment, extra coats; you name it and he’s got it. 

- He would absolutely be the type of boyfriend to go out and buy you pads. He’s got a sister that he lives with and a friend group that pretty much consists of all girls; I’m sure he’s done it before. 

- You think you’re gonna be free of him when you get sick? Oh ho ho honey; not a chance. He’s calling to check in on you every few hours and stopping by to take care of you himself. 

- He’s not an extremely jealous person, and he’s good at acting nonchalant when he is so you rarely know when he’s actually feeling that way. He’s respectful and he trusts you so he isn’t gonna make a big deal out of you being around other guys, especially since you’re both so obviously in love. 

- And he’s got eyes only for you; there’s no reason for you to ever feel jealous. 

- He’s protective of you in the cutest way possible. He’s always sweetly checking in on you, making sure you’re okay and looking out for you whenever you’re together. You’ll never have to worry about stepping on broken glass again. 

- The two of you rarely ever fight so when you do, it’s over something serious or because someone else has caused a rift between the two of you. He never yells at you, he never really insults you, he mainly just wants you to talk to him, but believe me, when it comes down to it, he’ll argue and argue until one of you can’t take it anymore; usually you. 

- It’s usually you that leaves to get some space and cool off or think things over. In that time, if you refuse to see or talk to him, he’ll continue to call you until you finally agree to make up. He’s the king of persistency; as we saw in the movie. 

- His apologies are usually very heartfelt. A boombox playing your song™, flowers, messages on your answering machine that makes you want to cry. Believe me, it’s hard to stay mad at him.

- At first, he was really nervous to tell you that he loved you. He thinks that telling a girl he loves them is a really meaningful thing so he wanted to know that he meant it before he said it. But after he said it for the first time, he just couldn’t stop, and he loves hearing you tell him that you love him back. 

- It doesn’t matter what the future holds for the two of you; he’d follow you to the ends of the Earth. He wants to be with you for the rest of his life; it’s the one thing he’s really sure of. 

[monsterywriting]

Thenerius - pt 2

word count: 5,675

male tiefling x female reader

Read Part 1 here

AN: whelp i guess this is getting (hopefully just) a third part... good luck to everyone else who’s going through finals week and don’t procrastinate your final projects/tests like i am! literally have a final today to study for and take after my 8 am and a portfolio due friday i haven’t started on lol

You were getting one last bucket-full of water for a much-needed bath from the pump around the back of the barn, too far to hear when the thundering sound of hooves on the dirt path approach the cottage. You also miss the shout of greeting and the sound of voices entering the cottage.

The sun was finally dipping below the horizon on a long day of playing catch-up around the homestead, and your only plans for the evening were to wash up and make dinner before passing out. So, when you finally reentered through the back door soaked in sweat and worn work clothes only to see your mother sitting at the small wooden table with none other than Thenerius, you were understandably shocked.

He was obviously here to kill you, getting revenge for how you humiliated him and refused his advances when he wanted you to accept them the most. You had been brave in that moment, brushed aside the fact that he was a pirate and more likely than not a killer, and now you would be paying the price.

When the tiefling saw you frozen at the doorway, his already bright demeanor seemed to reach the levels of the surface of the sun, blinding then burning when he stood up to greet you enthusiastically. You almost wish he was here to kill you, that fate infinitely better than whatever he actually had planned instead.

Pointedly ignoring him, you addressed your mother only, asking if she took her medicine yet.

“Your friend from work was keeping me company,” your mother smiled, though it was clear that she was drained from the encounter, “He brought your weekly payment from Aedan.”

Your head snapped over to Thenerius, the tiefling having the nerve to grin and hold up a pouch of coins. You were distracted, however, when your mother let out a soft cough she tried in vain to hold back. She broke out into a coughing fit, starting small and growing until they wracked her body.

Your concern grew, helping her to the bedroom and quickly getting some cough syrup into her. Once she was settled, you went back into the main room to deal with the purple menace.

He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room once you returned, the pouch sitting on the table. You stalk over and grab the pouch, shoving it into the tiefling’s chest.

“You need to leave,” you hiss, beginning to usher Thenerius towards the door.

“Wait!” The bastard had the nerve to dig his heels in, refusing to move until you give up on forcing him.

“What?” You spat, glaring up at him. Perhaps you would have found it amusing, how he had to duck his head to keep his horns from scraping the ceiling, a grizzled pirate trying to make himself fit inside the cozy cottage. No, you definitely would have found it hilarious, if said pirate wasn’t in your cottage unannounced, the location of which you never divulged during working hours, apparently trying to win your affections after your admittedly callous rejection.

“I-” Thenerius hesitated, any confidence he had that carried him all the way to your home dissipating when you weren’t as responsive to his charms as he’d come to expect from you, “I wanted to apologize. You were right, about the proposal. I shouldn’t have done that.”

You blinked, having assumed you’d be given another unwanted love confession. You’re not sure what to make of the admission, though you’re certain it wasn’t a trick, as he seemed genuinely remorseful.

“What part, that we’ve only known each other for three weeks or that it was because you were so lonely and any girl who wagged her tail at you would have had you falling for her?” You’re internally grimacing as soon as the words are out, unable to believe how cold you sound even to yourself. You didn’t want to goad him to anger if he was just here to apologize.

“If my memory serves correctly, I believe the exact phrase you used was ‘bat their eyelashes’ at me.” The attempt at humor didn’t quite reach Thenerius’ eyes, but you still allowed yourself to deflate at the opportunity of a reprieve, “but that it came too soon. I had done it thinking of all the time that had passed since I met you, the time I spent halfway across the world and all I could think about was returning to you. Your smile alone made the entire six month journey worth it, but you gave me so much more in that time - not your love. I know that, now, but… your time, and affection. Once you said  that - that we’d only been in each other’s presence for three weeks - I realized, perhaps I was rushed in my assessment of who you were. I filled the gaps of who I wanted you to be in my head.”

By the end of his faltering speech, you had shut your eyes, screwing them tightly shut in order to avoid having to look into Thenerius’ eyes, the raw emotion that swelled behind them that threatened to consume you with it. You refused to allow yourself to be caught up in the moment, to let yourself fall any deeper in than you already were entrenched from his flowery words. Just words, you told yourself.

“Is that all you needed to say?” You clear your throat, opening your eyes and looking anywhere but him, your resolve thinning with the mere awareness of his gaze upon you, feeling yourself being worn down.

Perhaps ‘worn down’ wasn’t the right verbiage, though it very much felt like it. Dragging you out into the light? Exposing you to be scrutinized, or to be known? What is the difference, if any? Either way, you felt as though Thenerius could read every passing thought darting around your head at lightening speed, projecting loud and clear your true desires no matter what you could say to the contrary.

“No, I want to know you. My feelings haven’t changed since that night, but I want you to feel the same.”

You let out a deep breath you weren’t aware you were holding. The short sentence is so simple, clear in meaning and intent. It’s… infuriating. A wave of something flowed over you in that moment, a realization like a bucket of ice water dousing you. You were shaking, your realized, but not with cold.

“You want to change my mind?” You whisper, cursing yourself for your inability to do much more in this conversation than to parrot his words, “You come to my home - unprompted, in fact, considering our last conversation, entirely unnecessarily - to what, exactly? Prove that I’m some prize to be won over by you? Come see how sorry my life is, see my sick mother and how I work my ass off at the tavern and here and think I’ll jump into your arms with some words? You must know that I wouldn’t go with you. Nor would I sit here waiting for you to return from the sea, hoping you’ll return for a few weeks every year and grace me with your presence and gold.”

You pause for air, realizing with horror that you were crying of all things. You quickly run your hands over your cheeks, glaring at Thenerius in a silent challenge, waiting for him to turn tail and run, “Now go.”

In yet another turn of seemingly endless events that should no longer have surprised you with how consistently they’ve been happening, Thenerius surprised you yet again.

“Well, this is awkward. I may have sent my men back south with my ship. I’m in need of room and board,” Thenerius said, and for the life of you, no matter how closely you examined his expression, you could not figure out what the hell he was thinking.

“Go to The Deep, then. I happen to be of the inside knowledge that there’s plenty of vacancies this time of year,” you said, brushing past the tiefling on your way back to your forgotten bucket of water, ready to escape this suffocating atmosphere.

“I don’t have enough gold for the length of time I’m planning on staying,” he replied.

“This is sounding more and more like your crew left you here and took the ship for themselves,” you deadpan, hefting the bucket up and carefully carrying it back towards the bathroom.

“My crew wouldn’t do that,” Thenerius’ voice suddenly turned serious, “I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t have come here if they had.”

“Well, unlucky me, then,” you grumble, “You’re still not staying here.”

“You’re very sarcastic,” Thenerius noted, and you prayed for his sake that the comment wasn’t a part of his vow to get to know the real you.

You disappear down the hall and into the bathroom, dumping the bucket into the basin. To your great relief, the water was still steaming.

“Wait, your pay!” Thenerius walked in behind you. You could tell the exact moment he realized where he was, quickly averting his eyes from you.

You roll your eyes. As if you would undress for any reason while he was still in the house.

“Please, you may have lied to my mother, but I’m no fool,” you snort, ignoring the outstretched hand to check the water, “Mr. Thistle would never trust a pirate with money, much less tell you where I live.”

“I’ll- come back later,” he says, turning to get out the room.

“No, you’re leaving,” you follow after him.

“Dear, it’s much to too late for him to ride, he can sleep here.” You and Thenerius both jump at your mother’s sudden appearance, both of you having forgotten that you were arguing right in front of the bedroom.

“But-” your protest is cut short when she only shakes her head, and you hope to Tova that she only caught the tail-end of your conversation with Thenerius.

“If you must, you can ride with him tomorrow to ask Aedan to give him a discount. Tomorrow.”

You run your hands down your face, glancing out the nearest window to confirm it was in fact dark out.

“Fine,” you sigh, pointing at Thenerius, “but you’re gone first thing tomorrow!”

Thenerius at least has the decency to not look too excited under your scrutiny, thanking your mother quietly.

“Go wash up, mom, it’s ready,” you inform her, moving away from the doorway so she can slip past.

You consider telling Thenerius to go last in the bath, but you’re covered in dried mud and animal shit and you weren’t going to have his tavern smell stinking up the sofa.

“You’re next,” you tell him, finally noticing how cramped the hallway was with two people in it. You push past him to to sit at the table again.

Thenerius followed you, keen to the fact that he was on thin ice and remained wisely silent as you waited for your mother to finish in the bathroom.

When she exited, dressed in her nightgown and hair wrapped tightly in a towel, you ushered Thenerius in, barely giving him time to grab his bag on the floor next to the chair he’d been sitting in when you first walked in. You enter close behind, going around him to grab a towel for him to use and quickly leaving him to his privacy, letting out the longest exhale of your life once the door shut behind you. You go back to the table and sit, trying not to think about the naked tiefling in your bathtub as you started the fire under the stove.

As soon as Thenerius stepped out of the bathroom with his bag in hand, you rush in, not making eye contact before you slam the door shut behind yourself.

The water is still somewhat lukewarm, and clear enough besides the murkiness from the soap. You think about literally anything else besides the fact that Thenerius had been in the same water just minutes before you, using the bowl to run water over your hair and quickly lathering the bar soap with a clean washcloth. The sooner you get out the better, you think.

It isn’t until you’re out of the bath and looking at your nightclothes that you realize you’re going to have to wear them in front of him, unless you change into clean day clothes just to change into them in the privacy of your bedroom later.

It’s just tonight, you tell yourself, he’ll be gone tomorrow. And why would you have to modify your routine for him? He’s the one intruding. It won’t be a big deal so lang as you act like it isn’t. It’s not like you’ll be prancing around naked. They’re your winter ones, the material made much thicker than the normal cotton.

Properly talked up,  you walk out, pretending not to notice how Thenerius stops mid-sentence in a conversation with your mother to stare at you like the moon herself descended in front of him.

“I’ll have dinner ready soon.” You mumble, not stopping until you were safely in the kitchen.

You take the last eight eggs and crack them onto the iron skillet sitting on the stove, immediately sizzling before you take a flat spoon to scramble and scrape them into three plates. You then add leftover cuts from a chicken you culled from your flock a week ago to the skillet to cook, already seasoned. Then, you took the stack of unleavened bread your mother made during the day while you worked before putting them on another flat slab of iron on the stove to warm them.

Once you had a sizable enough stack for three people, you wrapped the resulting unleavened bread in cloth and balanced the three plates in your arms and carried everything back into the dining area.

You had heard Thenerius and your mother sharing a hushed conversation through the walls, but weren’t able to make out any specifics. However, when thy both immediate hushed up once you entered, it was clear who the topic of their chat was.

You set down the plates, frowning once you realized you’d have to sit next to Thenerius, as it was only a four-person table and they were already sitting at opposite ends. Once you were seated, however, the dinner conversation was thankfully limited as everyone focused on their plates.

Then it was time for your mother to take her tablets, you watching carefully as she downed them with a cup of water.  She retired to the bedroom shortly after, and though she tried to make it seem as though she was solely doing it to give you and Thenerius some privacy, it was obvious she was drained of all energy as she slowly shuffled down the hall.

You ignore Thenerius and grab the plates, taking them to the kitchen to dump the scraps in the bin and be washed. Thenerius’ plate is practically clean already, but your mother’s is concerningly hardly touched at all.

Dunking the emptied plates plates in the half-full sink, you scrub vigorously. Just as you are about to place the first one on the rack to dry, however, Thenerius takes it from you and dries it with the dishtowel.

You decide to say nothing, simply handing him the next plate once he placed the previous one on the rack.

You bring Thenerius a stack of blankets, dumping them on the cot next to where he sat for him to assemble himself.

Just as you turn to leave, a hand falls on your shoulder and you immediately stiffen. It quickly retracts.

“I don’t need this many,” Thenerius says quietly, looking dejected when you look over your shoulder at him as he tries to hand you a few of the blankets back.

“You do,” you inform him, “we’re at a higher altitude. It’s going to get colder.”

Thenerius places them back on the pile, his mouth opening and then closing. You wait. Finally, he clears his throat, “Thank you, for dinner. And for letting me stay here.”

“Thank my mom,” you reply, “and don’t get used to it. I was serious when I said you’re gone tomorrow.”

After a moment, Thenerius smiles, small but hopeful, “not first thing?”

“You have to pay for the meal and bed,” you huff, turning back around and going into the bedroom, careful to be quiet as you cross the cottage so as to not wake your mother.

You make sure the door is shut securely, and for good measure, you stick a piece of paper in the gap between the top of the door and the frame. You don’t think you’ll be able to sleep with the knowledge of a stranger sleeping in the next room, but almost as soon as your head hits the pillow, you’re waking to the sound of the rooster crowing the next morning.

You sit up abruptly, your mother still asleep next to you. You swing your legs over the edge of the mattress and scurry to the door, the paper still in the same spot you placed it when you take it back down.

You open the door quietly and slip out, glancing around the corner at the end of the hall to the cot. On the side closest to you, the stack of blankets are folded neatly, Thenerius’ pack leaning against one of the cot’s legs.

Your eyebrows furrow, going back to make sure the bathroom was empty before checking the kitchen, seeing neither hide nor hair of Thenerius in the cottage. Before you go search outside for the tiefling, you decide to at least get the stove going to warm up the cottage. As you stand in the kitchen looking for the box of matches, you realize you can hear the familiar, rhythmic thumping of an axe hitting wood.

Glancing out the window, you see Thenerius at an old stump splitting firewood a few yards away, his coat off and hanging from a tree branch. He stops to brush his hair back, careful to avoid his horns, before continuing.

Against your better judgement, you study him from the safety of the indoors. The last time you’d seen him, it had been shaved close. He apparently grew it out since then, dark waves forming curls around the nape of his neck that you’d noticed when he first arrived at the deep and now was sticking to his scalp with sweat.

As the sun broke over the horizon and illuminated the clearing, you could see how Thenerius’ back muscles flexed under the fabric of his shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose his thick forearms. Obviously, as a pirate, he would have to be at least somewhat fit. Hell, you’d felt them whenever he would insist you touch his arm while he flexed or would pull you into his lap.

But none of that quite prepared you for how he would look without the barrier of his coat, how he likely looked working out at sea.

You force your eyes back to the task at hand before they can venture downwards, finally finding the matches and lighting one with shaking hands before lighting the scrap of paper and tossing both into the stove.

Shutting the door and opening the grate, you return to the bedroom to change into your day clothes.

You immediately regret stepping outside as soon as you do, the light of the sun doing little to warm the icy air rushing inside your lungs and burning against your skin. Still, you are determined as you march around the cottage to where Thenerius continues to split the pieces of wood, though the pile of wood that took you months to chop down and cut into sections was now nearly gone and a neat stack of his split pieces had taken its place.

“I noticed you were running low,” Thenerius calls out as you approach, smiling as your eyes met his.

“It’s fine,” you huff, Thenerius’ smile brightening as though you just extended him the best praise of his life.

Annoyance bubbled in your stomach. Did he think he was cute? Acting like a love-struck teen and not a Tova-damned pirate? Or did he think you would be tricked by the illusion he put forth if he played pretend enough?

“Hurry up and finish that. There’s more work to do before breakfast,” you mutter, turning towards the barn as he would no doubt be crestfallen as you continue, “Then we’re going to The Deep.”

You go back to the kitchen briefly to grab the scrap bin before going to the chicken coop, making sure to latch the screen door behind you. You drop the scraps at the center of the enclosure, the chickens running over each other in a clucking mass of feathers and beating wings in their attempt to get at the food first. A few even manage to steal a few morsels before the more dominant ones chase them off.

Once the nesting area was empty, you went over and started collecting eggs in the same bin. Only six today, and you cooked the last of them in storage for dinner the night before. You worry your bottom lip, looking at the flock.

There were five hens and the rooster. You had been planning to let them breed in the spring to bring their numbers up, but that was still a long ways away.

You glanced over at the goats, currently in the pasture with the horses. You had two bucks and eight does. You had sold off the kids of four of the does, leaving you with five kids, three males. There was still the cured meat you got from the storehouse the other day, so you wouldn’t have to do anything drastic for food just yet, but it wouldn’t last soon at your current rate.

You had been planning on buying rabbits to raise for meat and fur, but you hadn’t been able to find the time to finish the winter hutch that was still partially completed in the barn.

Then you thought about everything else you had to do soon - castrate the three kids, patch the barn roof, harvest the second pasture’s grass and dry it for hay… and it seemed like every day you found something that needed repairing or replacing.

But… if Thenerius does plan on staying, you just may be able to keep everything afloat for the time being. With him there to collect the eggs and milk the goats while you worked shifts at the deep, then- appalled that you were planning ahead as though you would allow Thenerius to stay for months on end with you. No, you survived the last winter without any help, you could do the same this year.

Letting out a sigh, you dropped the eggs off in the kitchen before going back to the barn to wrap the horses snugly in blankets and let them out to graze in the pasture connected to the barn.

By that point, Thenerius comes to find you. You were admittedly surprised he’d finished that quickly, soaked with sweat and breathing heavily as he told you he was finished. You had even gone to check, not quite able to believe he’d gone through the entire wood pile that fast, or at least correctly. He looked proud when you peer up at him, but you refuse to praise him, directing him instead to the pasture while you grab two pails from the barn.

After showing him how to milk the does, you quickly fill about two pail's worth of milk between you from the four kidless does.

After taking the milk to the small pasteurizer in the barn, you set about making breakfast.

After taking the milk to the small pasteurizer in the barn, you and Thenerius returned to the cottage, your mother already up and standing by the stove.

You waste no time getting breakfast ready, making the six eggs you collected and take out the smoked meat. You make up two plates, setting them down in front of the two.

“I’ll be back soon,” you tell your mother, gripping her shoulder for a moment, “Don’t forget to take your medicine.”

“I’ve been taking it for three years, I don’t need you reminding all the time, you know,” your mother huffed, but she still pressed a kiss to the top of your head and waving you off.

“You aren’t going to eat?” Thenerius asked, thankfully swallowing his mouthful before speaking.

“I ate a couple boiled eggs while I cooked,” you reply, “clean the dishes after you’re done. We’ll go to The Deep afterwards.”

Grabbing your purse and heading to the barn, you click your tongue at the door leading out to the pasture, grabbing his saddle as your horse neighs loudly and nearly trampling over Thenerius’ horse in his attempt to get to you.

Any attempts on your part to name the capricious animal had been in vain, as he only ever responded to the sound of a clicking tongue, what your mother called him over to eat. It explained why he was fatter than a pregnant mare when you got here, unridden and getting fat on the lush pasture to himself and the treats.

Horse, as you’d taken to referring to him in your head, shoved his face into your hands, sticking your entire hand into his mouth in search of treats. You fish out a peeled hard-boiled egg from your pocket, the treat disappearing from your hand before you can even unfurl your fingers, Horse chewing it down quickly. Thenerius’ horse ventures over once she realizes you have food, and you have to press an open palm against Horse’s face to keep him from snatching the second egg you pull out before she can gently take it from you.

“Are those the eggs you ‘ate’?” You jump as Thenerius suddenly appears next to you, and you glare at him for sneaking up at you.

“I need to bribe him to come over and let me saddle him,” you said, neither confirming or denying the tiefling’s accusation, “he’ll be angry the entire ride otherwise.”

“Why didn’t you eat?” Thenerius presses, his eyes never leaving you as you unpin Horse’s blanket and refold it, throwing it over his back before securing his saddle on top.

“There wasn’t enough,” you shrug, climbing onto Horse’s back and pressing your legs momentarily into his side to get him to start walking.

You’re almost to the main road when you hear Thenerius pull up beside you.

“You should have taken mine,” he says after a moment.

You sigh. Clearly, wanting a nice, quiet stroll into town was too much to ask for, “Our horse is fine. He needs the exercise, anyways.”

“Not the horse, the food,” Thenerius said, actually sounding irate with you, “if there wasn’t enough you should have eaten mine.”

You bite back a laugh. You’ve heard Thenerius actually angry before, yelling at his crew members when one shoved another into a table in the tavern and broke it.

He’d been absolutely furious then, scaring even you with how his red eyes burned like hot coals, his face darkening to what you assumed to be an unhealthy purple-blue color as he nearly came to blows with the offenders. That feared pirate captain now reprimanded you like a child.

“Please, it’s one meal,” you snort, “I had plenty while I was working.”

“You shouldn’t skip meals,” he insisted, drawing close to your side to look down at you sternly, “You’re going to still be working the rest of the day after this, aren’t you?”

You roll your eyes and snap your reins, Horse speeding up to a canter and leaving Thenerius behind. The journey was familiar to you both, and you don’t even need to provide the horse with direction as he follows the twists and turns of the winding path with a sure foot.

You just want to hurry and reach The Deep, collect your pay, dump Thenerius on them and then go to Alfore to meet with the doctor about your mother.

You reach The Deep before Thenerius, tying Horse to a post outside the stables and making a beeline inside with barely contained excitement.

When you enter the tavern, Lenora is the only one in. Her welcoming smile quickly shrinks into a sheepish one once she sees you, however, turning on one heel to head straight towards the inn portion of the building.

Your eyes narrow, making a detour from Mr. Thistle’s office to go after her. You had an inkling as to what that was all about, and you couldn’t help but need to confirm it.

Your hand falls onto her shoulder and grips it tight, yanking her back just before she can abscond up the steps.

“Where are you going?” You ask, putting on a pleasant smile for the few patrons at the bar as you steer her down the hall to the privacy of the storage room, once an office.

“Please don’t kill me - he tricked me into telling!” Lenora begged for mercy immediate, clasping both hands in front of her.

“I highly doubt that,” you cross your arms, raising an eyebrow and waiting for her to try again.

Lenora had always been something of a romantic, constantly falling for one sweet gesture after another and declaring someone her ‘soulmate’ every few months. If she caught wind of Thenerius’ proposal, of course she’d think it was fine to play matchmaker. But that didn’t mean you weren’t going to make her sweat to teach her a lesson.

“Ok, but my intentions were good!” She pleaded, shaking your arm, “I mean, he obviously loves you, so I thought if he saw how you were living, you could get him to give you enough money for your mom!”

Your eyes widen, anger draining from your face and replaced with hurt, “so you told a stranger where I live, where my mother lives, so I could get him to feel sorry for me and bankroll my expenses? What else would I do, hm? Let him sleep with me for an allowance?”

Lenora realized her mistake too late, unable to backtrack as you spun around and left the room. You walk straight past Mr. Thistle’s office, too distraught to think about what you came here to do.

You untie Horse and quickly mount him, spurring him to go forward.

“Please don’t be angry! I didn’t mean you would do anything like that, I just wanted to help you-” you snap the reins twice to get Horse to a gallop.

“Are you okay?” You think Thenerius calls out, but you pay him no time as you race past, reaching the main road in no time and heading down the straight path to Alfore.

Your breathing is erratic as you try to get a handle on the unfamiliar emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. Perhaps in the past, you would have acted out in anger, lashed out at Lenora for the insult implied.

Now, however, you’re just tired. Worn out from two years of being back in this shithole, struggling to make ends meet, doing whatever you could. And because of that, your own coworker - someone you thought of as a friend, even - believed you to be so unscrupulous in your need for money that you’d take advantage of someone’s emotions for your own ends.

The worst part is, you were tempted. Tempted to step back. Tempted to let someone else take the reins. Tempted to use Thenerius’ misguided feelings for you to your advantage.

Had this what you’d been reduced to, from academic work to flirting shamelessly with customers to line your pockets? Do things your mother never did even when she was doing the same job, running the homestead, and saving money for you to move to the capital for your schooling?

So, at the end of your rapid-fire cycling through the stages of grief, you have no desire to fight Lenora over her true thoughts about you, nor do you wish to turn on Thenerius for the way he’s crashed into your life. You don’t qualify every action you ever did out of necessity or lay bare the fact that you were actually embarrassed by them. You don’t try to separate yourself from your choices by bringing up your past life or hard work. You simply loathe yourself for it.

Without your constant commands, Horse slows to a trot. You allow it, not wanting him to get hurt because of you. However, you soon regret your decision as you hear hooves charging up to you from behind.

You pull over to the side of the road, praying that whoever it was just passed you by. Of course, you had no such luck, the other horse slowing down next to you and Thenerius looking down at you with a concerned expression.

You say nothing and you don’t bother trying to outrun him, resigned to the fact that you wouldn’t be shaking him anytime soon.

“It wasn’t her fault,” he said once it was clear you weren’t speaking, drawing your sulking expression to point directly at him, “I pressured her to tell me where to find you.”

“Why are you still here?” You ask instead, exasperated and unwilling to have a conversation with him of all people about what happened between you and Lenora.

“I told you, my feelings for you haven’t changed,” Thenerius said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Even if I allow you to stay, it would only be to use you,” you argue, “you could work for months and waste your time if I never change my mind. Doesn’t that make you angry?”

“No,” he replied, a warm smile adorning his face as he looked at you, “because you said if.”

You blink dumbly as he spurs his horse forward, leaving you to catch up.

part 3

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×06 Review

(How the f**k they just gonna leave me on read like this till March 4th)

The episode was a rollercoaster but something tells me the real ride is going to happen from the next episode.

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Maggie

I knew Winston was gonna show up in person at some point or the other. When he dropped the long distance wasn't working line and put the phone down in her ear so he could get some 'eggs' I knew he was in Seattle, good for her she's going to need him to lean on seeing that Mer freaking crashed again. At least she'll have somebody there for her because all her other support is personally attached to Meredith as well.

Besides Winston turning up, treating Tom and her being understandably giddy at Mer being awake there was also a scene where she educated Amelia on some things now I won't get into the details again but I'm just in love with the fact that Grey's isn't afraid to touch on controversial topics, they use their large platform to raise awareness and their speeches are always on point.

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Teddy/Owen

(She needed the time off more than Bailey did tbh)

My God was it satisfying when Richard literally just tore into her. She put herself in the situation and is now taking her anger out on others which is really in poor taste. Poor Helm, I hope she didn't take it personally. At this point it's her time to annoy me, I miss the season 6 Teddy, hopefully she redeems herself soon. After being torn apart by Webber's words she then proceeds to make things worst by revealing yet another big secret to Owen at work. (At least this time it was on purpose.) She just needs to take some time away and think on what she really wants and needs to reflect before spontaneously starting potentially life changing conversations. First it was telling Tom they had a chance then it was telling Owen that she still loves him and the kids while also revealing that she named their daughter after not only her best friend but also the woman that she was very much in love with. Pick a struggle Teddy at this point she's seeming confused more than anything else.

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Owen

For the past few seasons Owen was one of the characters getting on my nerves but lately he's been fine. He hasn't redeemed himself yet but his probation is going fine. Watching this show really shows how good of a person a doctor has to be in order to follow the ethical guidelines. If I had that scum bag for a patient I would have literally just pretended to fail at saving him and let the guy die, (guess that's why the Lord made me suck at Chemistry and Physics) his response to Bob about him being at the devils barbecue was badass, gave me serious season 5 Owen vibes or vibes like when he punched that guy out for disrupting the ER when he was chief, Major Hunt reporting for duty.

As for him and Teddy I can get why he was upset, her he was about to attempt to make amends at probably rekindling a friendship or maybe their relationship and she revels that your daughter is named after her lover, she could have atleast told him that when they were in the naming process, he deserved to know exactly who his child was being named after. I'm kinda a bitch but there was no way I'd feel comfortable having my child named after my partner's lover. On the other hand he should hear her out he has literally cheated twice and both times he sat and was able to share his side of the story and the woman he was with listened to his explanations. Teddy deserves as much, it might hurt but he did the same and Karma unfortunately is still a bitch.

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Bailey

(I just wanted to give her a hug the whole night.)

She has a really unhealthy habit of working through her grief, first her miscarriage and now through the death of her mom. I'm honestly sad that Ben had to be the one to comfort Tuck and tell him his grandmother had even died (she's always so busy, Ben is pratically the one raising him at this point.) And I'm also upset that I haven't gotten to see Ben being there for her either. I'm assuming it might be a protocol on the sets.

At least she took time off of the cases, I understand why she didn't want to go home as a doctor she has the highest risk of transporting the virus, but her mind understandably wasn't going to be in the doctoring game. I really thought they were gonna make her freeze up and accidentally kill a patient or something, but at least they didn't go down that line. And what even happened to her dad? did he take the Covid test? Wheres he staying now? Is he safe?

The conversations between her and Deluca were sweet, it's another unexpected friendship, before the only one she really disclosed any details of her life with was Richard but now they're opening her support group which is fine. I'm also glad that Deluca was able to look past the whole fiasco last season and hold no grudges. She has now fully redeemed herself completely, she's still my all time favorite character but from season 13 to probably mid season 16 she really had some storylines and scenes that irked me to watch and made me question some things, but now she's back on track at least to me.

Also I know that Richard is the chief of chiefs but how are they just gonna let him take back over the surgery unit like that again? I mean I did miss him as chief but now Bailey just basically seems like a regular old surgeon with a fancy office, idk it just seems kinda weird to me.

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Jackson

Not only carrying on the work and teachings of Mark Sloan but also using his boatload of cash to rescue a patient's mother from racist police who should have been the ones actually in prison. That was basically it for him though.

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Jo

Oml I honestly almost forgot she was even really in the episode. She had so little screen time. She's still in the middle of transitioning to OB. I have no issue with that because OB's still can do surgery, so we'll still get to see her and she'll be happy again plus it's about time that Grey's cashes in that Regulars card on Carina. We see her on Station 19 as an accessory I want to see the Jo and Carina tag team.

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Amelia

Not really much in this episode. No content with Link she just did surgery to save the scum with Owen. They may have made a mediocre couple but they work good as friends. Also I'm assuming she's off of maternity leave now? Did they mention that I'm not sure but she's back now.

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Richard

Not much of a storyline, he made the decision to put Meredith on the Vent and is busy running the hospital as the chief of the hospital again I guess. And also spitting the much needed facts that Teddy needed to hear.

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Tom

They're finally showing more of Tom's good side, I mean I always liked him and saw the potential in his character but they never really showed his soft side for a prolonged period like they did today. May I just say I enjoyed his and Meredith's friendly banter they have the same lowkey dark humor and at least it would have taken their minds off of being sick especially for him because he basically has no one else. Hearing him open up about his son and expressing how he'd do anything to hear him say dad again was sad I can only imagine his pain. Meredith was his reason for holding on especially after he had to witness his roommate die from Covid, the same thing he's suffering from right before his eyes and now Mer back unconscious this time with a tube down her throat I'm just really hoping that he keeps the faith, the last thing we need is a death right now.

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Meredith

(God damn it Mer all you had to do was stay awake.)

For a few brief moments all was right with the world Meredith was awake and everyone was happy and then she just had to go be Wonder Woman and over exert herself, but that's the thing they would have probably needed armed guards at the doors to keep her from putting someone else's life above her own, its one of her best qualities and at times one of her worst. I knew it was too good to be true when she was awake and laughing. It was giving me Mark Sloan final episode vibes. They better not kill her off that would be the worst ending for me, what about the kids? Step off the damn beach Mer you've gone through too much to let Covid take you out. On the other hand this gives us more beach scenes. It's more unlikely to have a live character return but there's still lots of dead ones to choose from, her mother is always a likely suspect, Denny loved being on the show and I think Breaking bad had its final season, Mark is a toss up based on how he cut ties with the show and Lexie is also a toss up because she is filming Supergirl in another country, however anything is possible with Grey's. I thought the beach scenes were over because she was waking up but look how wrong I was. All I hope is that they don't kill her off its unlikely because she's the main character but still its Grey's they like to go out with a bang.

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Deluca

I left him for last because to me he really did have the biggest storyline of the night.

Firstly I'm glad to see that at least part of the earliers season's Deluca has returned. I loved him as the passionate, badass and almost cocky guy as well but I always missed his more compassionate and softer side more. I'm glad to see it back and I'm also glad to see that he's taking his meds and resting, and I can confirm that having support is a needed factor in treating mental health. As strange as it was seeing the Bailey and Deluca chat it's good that they both have each other. They both suffer from mental illnesses and can relate to each other on a different level. They have me wondering now if they're going to use his mental health issues as a way to separate him and Mer, or use it as the reason why he pursued her, kinda like how they tried to blame Amelia's tumor for her bad decisions and then used it to break her and Owen up. I guess we'll just have to see where Merluca will go from here or if it will manifest Merhaynes instead.

Now onto the big stuff, the whole sex trafficking thing the whole episode I was literally yelling at the tv for either Deluca, Bailey or Carina to see that bitch, the moment it was connected that the kidnapper was involved in trafficking and she showed up I knew shit was about to go down. My heart was racing when I saw her with Schmitt. I really thought she was going to attack him with how sus she was being, luckily she had to go to avoid further suspicion. They need to put security on those girls' door. They've been through enough. If she goes to finish off Bob then no one cares but the girls don't deserve to go through anything else and Deluca after seeing her decided to go after him himself instead of calling the police, granted the police wasn't doing anything helpful but the last thing we need is for him to go after her himself like Superman and trying to save the day. At least Carina went with him so she can help talk him down if necessary but there's only so much she can do.

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There are too many damn superheroes in that hospital.

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My questions are:

• Will both Tom and Meredith make it out of the Covid sickness or will one or even both of them die?

• Will Teddy finally make her mind up so that the Teddy, Tom and Owen love triangle can finally have an ending?

• Who the hell is coming to the beach next? And can they tell Meredith to get her ass off of the beach and never return until she's like 80?

• Will Superman, I mean Deluca save the day without needing medical attention afterwards? Or worst yet needing a casket?

• Is Jo actually switching specialties?

• Are they going to go after the girls or kill Bob instead?

• How is it going to go with Maggie and Winston now that he has arrived in person?

• And lastly and most importantly what am I supposed to do with my Thursday nights until March 4th.

[buckysrighthanddoll]

Speechless

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: cursing, angst, hella fluff

Summary: Four times “Speechless” by Dan and Shay perfectly fit Bucky and the reader’s relationship

Word count: 4915

i.

Tony was infamous for his extraordinary parties. It gave him joy, not because he was rich and he could, but because it was one of the rare times the entire team was in the room without fighting for their lives.

He threw a glorious party, this time in your honor. He wanted to introduce you to the team as the newest member, and what better way than with dancing and liquor?

You were informed that this was a formal event. And, although you much preferred your suit or a pair of sweats, you did occasionally enjoy dressing up. You enjoyed the feeling of it, the added confidence to your normal amount made you absolutely giddy.

So, here you were, dressed to the nines, and about to walk into your very own Stark-made party. Everybody else was already there, and Tony was announcing the events of the night before introducing you to the world.

You stood in your dark green dress that just brushed the floor, hair and makeup done to perfection, and a pair of gold flats on to match your golden necklace. You took a deep breath as you smoothed down the dress that you hand-picked, and you listened to Tony speak.

“Without further ado, here she is, the star of tonight’s event, and the newest Avenger, (Y/N)!”

You stepped around the bend, descending the staircase that Tony was standing on. It was a stereotypical fairytale, and you thought back to the hardships you had gone through to get to where you are now. You looked over the crowd of applauding people, looking at the front row to the current Avengers.

One, in particular, caught your eye. You recognized him to be James Buchanan Barnes, the former Winter Soldier. You had read very little on all of the team, wanting to get to know them on your own. But, damn, the pictures in James’ file didn’t do him justice. He couldn’t seem to not look at you (even though all eyes were on you in the first place). He drank you in, his mouth slightly agape as his face flushed pink.

You reached to wear Tony was, forcing yourself to look away from him. You offered a small smile to the crowd as Tony gestured to the microphone for a speech. He had told you beforehand that the press would be there recording this. This was, after all, a big event.

“Thank you so much for all of this, Tony,” You started, smiling at the man who orchestrated this entire thing. Not just the party, but you joining the team as well. You took a moment to ground yourself, hearing the quiet music and the slight movements of the crowd as they waited to hear your next words. “This party was very much over-the-top in my opinion, but Tony insisted that it was needed. Who am I to argue with the one providing all of this for me? Not just the party, but also my room in the tower, the food in the kitchen, and the opportunity to serve this country and this world alongside the bravest and most selfless people this world has to offer. I am grateful for all of this, and I am very excited to have the chance to be called an Avenger. Thank you,” You said, trying to keep the speech concise. The crowd applauded once again as you handed the microphone back to Tony, who gave you a big hug. You gladly accepted, knowing that he wasn’t an affectionate man toward many people.

You stepped down the remaining stairs and got in line with the rest of the Avengers, standing next to Natasha. She gave you her signature smile, and you returned it. “Welcome to the family. I’m Natasha,” she said, holding a hand out. You shook it and introduced yourself, turning back toward Tony.

Once he finished talking, it was time for the crowd to come up and talk to you. You hardly got a moment of peace the entire time. It seemed as though the entire population of the event had greeted you, except for one. James hadn’t come to see you yet, and you nearly took offense to it until you remembered that he was once the Winter Soldier, and that kind of torture must make it hard for him to want to talk to new people. He stuck by Steve and Sam for most of the night.

The one moment that you got, you were walking through the middle of the dance floor in order to get to a table. A slow song called “Speechless” by Dan and Shay had the majority of the people dancing with each other, which allowed for your momentary escape. This was the moment that James finally came up to you. “I’m Bucky,” He said. It was short and sweet, and it was a start.

“I’m (Y/N),” you introduced with a soft smile. He repeated it to himself as if he was trying it out to see if he liked it. He gave a tiny smirk as he focused his attention back on you.

“Would you like to dance?” Bucky asked, holding his hand out to take.

“I would love to, Bucky,” You said. He liked the way his name rolled off of your tongue. You stepped closer to him, placing one around his neck and the other in his hand. He placed his arm around your waist and gently squeezed your hand in his, making you smile.

“How did Tony find you?” He asked.

You gave him a sad smile. “Perhaps another time for that story,” You said. He understood just fine. There was plenty that he didn’t like to talk about, so he didn’t press it further. “But, I will say that if it wasn’t for Tony, I would be rotting in a very different place.”

“Why did he recruit you?” He asked next.

“I’m kind of a Thor, but less godly,” You laughed. Bucky disagreed entirely. Everything about you screamed goddess. You were picture perfect in looks, and that laugh--damn, that laugh--made the room seem like it was lighter. “What about you?”

Bucky’s eyes widened momentarily. “Tony didn’t tell you about us?”

You shook your head. “He gave me files, but I like to personally get to know people. Having a file on someone is sort of like cheating, I guess,” You explained.

“I like that,” Bucky smiled. “Steve and I are super soldiers.” This time you gave him a smile.

As the song came to a close, neither of you really wanted to let go. However, you figured that all of the eyes on the two of you were suspicious enough, and you didn’t want to give them a reason to think that you were more than attached to any of the team on the night you met them. Reluctantly, you stepped away from him, holding onto his hand a moment longer as a form of flirtation.

“Well, James, I think we’ll get along just fine,” You smirked. He raised his hand, bringing yours with it to his mouth. He gently kissed your knuckles, making you blush.

“I agree. I look forward to working with you,” He smiled. He dropped your hand, and you decided to go sit with Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Clint at the table. Bucky soon joined, sitting on the opposite side of you as all of you conversed.

Bucky knew right then that you were someone special.

ii.

After almost two years of being close friends and pining over each other, Steve finally convinced Bucky to ask you on an actual date. You, being you, casually said yes to his face, but the second you got to your room, you jumped and danced in excitement. Nat walked in. You were red in the face. She’ll never let you live it down.

Getting ready for the date made you incredibly nervous. Natasha and Wanda helped you decide what to wear since they knew where Bucky was going to take you. You were in a simple grey a-line dress that ended just above the knees, topping it with a black cardigan. While Wanda curled your hair, Natasha helped you with your makeup.

All three of you knew that you could get ready on your own, but it was exciting to have them help you. You had realized that you fell in love with Bucky well over a year ago when you opened up to him and told him about how Tony had discovered you. You had never told anybody that you accidentally killed a man in cardiac arrest with your powers. He held you while you cried (you didn’t think you’d ever be able to tell the story without crying at some point during it).

Bucky, however, didn’t realize how you felt. He had fallen for you when you had comforted him through a flashback. You knew a lot about mental health, so you helped him ground himself back in reality and dismiss those memories. Then, you made him cookies just like his ma and sister did when he was sick, back before the war. Yes, he was enraptured when he first met you, but he saw you in a new light through the months just prior. You were no longer just some bad-ass girl who had electricity in her veins, but instead he realized that you were much more personable. You were easy to talk to, and you always managed to make him smile when he had no other reason to. You showed him a vulnerable side to you instead of your overly confident front that you always had with everybody else. Not even Natasha got to see as much of that side as he did.

“(Y/N), calm down. Your fingers are sparking,” Nat said as she set down the mascara. You looked down at your fingers, which were indeed sparkling a dull golden color. You chalked up to nerves because damn you were nervous. You weren’t the type to let nerves get to you, but right now they were.

“It’s just Bucky,” Wanda said. “The same exact Bucky who has been there for you the last two years.”

“Yeah, but now Bucky and I have this thing between us and we’re actually going on a date. A proper date, not just some movie night in my bedroom.”

“You two have had that thing for over a year,” Natasha pointed out. She used a wipe to take off the light powder on your lips, opting to just leave them blank.

“You know, he’s probably just as nervous as you are,” Wanda added as she put some hairspray into your hair.

Taking a deep breath, you look at yourself in the mirror. Wanda had used a straightener to add loose waves to your hair, tying up the sides and leaving a couple of loose strands at the front. It was subtle yet so perfect. The same thing went for the makeup that Natasha chose. She did a slight amount of concealer to cover a bruise from last week’s mission, then she added a bit of bronzer and highlighter. Then she gently filled in your eyebrows and put mascara on you. The entire look was natural and cute. You hoped that Bucky liked it.

“Go get him,” Nat said, handing you your purse. You thanked both the girls and hugged them, slipping on some black flats and heading out. You opted to take the stairs, meeting Steve in the lobby.

“He’s right outside,” He told you, a bright smile on his face. He gave you a hug as well, telling you to be safe.

When you opened the door to the tower, you saw Bucky nervously standing by his car. You stopped in your tracks, taking in the sight before you. He was in dark denim jeans and a light grey button-up shirt, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Upon hearing the door open, he looked up at you. He opened his mouth to say something but came up empty. He was utterly speechless at just how beautiful you were.

You took a step toward him, which snapped him out of his gaze. He closed the remaining distance and handed you the flowers, making you smile nervously. You could feel your hands tingling from the electricity, but they weren’t sparking like they were just minutes ago. You took a deep breath, attempting to calm the nerves. This was Bucky. Bucky, who welcomed you with open arms. Bucky, who comforted you when you got flashbacks about killing that man. Bucky, who opened up to you and trusted you. Bucky, who allowed you to talk about anything in this entire world that you wanted to. Bucky, who helped you control your power. Bucky, who always made sure you were comfortable in every situation. Bucky, who never laid a hand on you. Bucky, who never so much as tried to kiss you. This was Bucky. You could do this.

“Would ya look at that?” Bucky asked, looking between the two of you. “We’re matching,” He smiled. “You look amazing, doll,” He added quietly.

“You look fantastic, Buck,” You replied. “I like grey on you.” Of course, you did. They brought out the icy blue of his eyes, and the way his dark brown hair paired with the lightness of the grey made your heart smile. 

He gestured toward the car after a moment of silence, opening the door for you. He took you to a small diner in Brooklyn that had been around since the 1920s. “It was my favorite growing up,” He told you when you were sharing an appetizer.

“God, I really am with an old man, huh?” You joked. He laughed, which made you laugh. He loved hearing your laugh. It made him happier.

“Well, we’re physically the same age.”

“I don’t know, sometimes after a fight, I feel like I’m ninety-seven years old.”

He chuckled as the food came out. “You are something else, sweetheart,” He says.

You pondered over the nickname. He usually liked to call you doll or princess, but sweetheart was new. “Sweetheart,” You muttered to yourself, trying it out for size. “I like that,” You finished, smiling to yourself.

After dinner, you went to the drive-in. You had no idea that they even existed anymore. And, truthfully, this one wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for Tony organizing it and getting trying to keep it on the down-low so that there weren’t many other people there. The Breakfast Club was playing, which was a good movie in your eyes.

Sometime near the middle of the movie, you cuddled into Bucky’s shoulder. He gingerly wrapped an arm around you and pulled you tighter into him, which made you smile widely. You two had leaned on each other and held each other during panic attacks, flashbacks, and nightmares, but you had never intentionally cuddled with each other just to do it. It made Bucky feel like he did before the war when he was really into a girl.

Although, none of them had been like you.

You were something else altogether, Bucky thought. He thought that you were imperfect. You had your faults and your insecurities and you hated being vulnerable with anybody except for him. You were his kind of imperfect, though, and he adored every single insecurity.

“(Y/N)?” He asked toward the end of the movie. He had intended to say that he thought he was falling in love with you, but when you looked up at him through those lashes with those beautiful eyes of yours, he was speechless again. Bucky Barnes had never been so affected by anybody like he had been by you. “Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” He said after moments of grasping for words.

You smiled. “Of course, Buck. This is a lot of fun, and I’d love to do this with nobody else,” You told him. His heart stuttered, and he hoped that you didn’t feel it, but you did. The electricity in your veins had started to flare again with the way that he looked at you, so you pulled away from him before you could accidentally shock him.

After the movie, you went back to the compound, although the date wasn’t over. He carefully led you around the building so that you wouldn’t have to see the team, and you told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to make sure that the team didn’t know you were back yet.

He led you to the roof long after the sun had set, and you both sat on the roof underneath the half-moon with your bouquet of flowers and your head on his shoulder again. You nuzzled close to him because you were cold, and he gave you his jacket, even though you had told him not to. You knew that he hated the cold and you didn’t want him to get chilly, but he assured you that with the serum in his veins, he was naturally very warm. You couldn’t disagree. He was like a warm blanket fresh out of the drier. This man had you feeling nostalgic for things that you didn’t quite know.

Bucky pointed out different constellations to you, including the one that corresponded with your zodiac sign.

“James, it looks as though our story is written in the stars,” You said after he pointed out two constellations right next to each other. “That constellation is you, and that one is me, and we’re right next to each other, always chasing. I think that we’re written in the stars and that one day, we’ll finally catch each other.”

He looked down at you, smiling gently with a certain look in his eyes. You wish you knew what it was, but he definitely knew. It was love. He was falling for you, and he needed to tell you.

“We should get back inside. It’s 1:50 and Tony and Clint warned me that if I didn’t get you back by 2:00 that he just might shank me,” Bucky laughed. You laughed along with him as he got up, offering you hand to get up as well. When you got up, you didn’t let go of it. It made your heart warm.

“I wanna show you something,” You said. “Give me your other hand,” You said, letting go of his metal one and grabbing his flesh one.

“What are you--”

“Just feel,” You quietly commanded. You focused your electricity to a dull roar, letting it flow from your hand to his, which made him smile.

“That feels nice,” He commented. You giggled and laced your fingers together, dropping them to your sides as you walked back inside. He walked you to your bedroom, where you gave back his jacket. “Thank you for going on this date with me,” He said quietly, as to not wake your teammates.

“I had a great time,” You smiled. You got on your tip-toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheek, giving a small dose of that warm electricity in a lingering kiss. When you pulled away, Bucky gave you that same meaningful look. His eyes glanced between your eyes and your lips as he slowly leaned in, and you unconsciously did the same. Your lips met somewhere in the middle, and he gently tugged you closer to him. You placed one hand behind his neck and the other on his chest as you both got lost into the kiss, It was electrifying, even without your power. Neither of you had ever felt anything like this.

Bucky was the one to pull away first. “(Y/N), I think I’m falling for you,” He whispered while your foreheads rested against each other.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I know that I’m falling for you.”

Just then, over the hallway speakers, “Speechless” played for the first time since you and Bucky met.

“And I may have had Tony set that up,” Bucky muttered, looking back at you.

iii.

You and Bucky had your first fall out eleven months after the night of your first date and start of the relationship. Your ex, Jason, had reached out to you to apologize for cheating on you when you were together. You agreed to meet with him and hear him out, but you didn’t want anything else. Life was too short for hatred, so you at least wanted to give him the chance to clear the air.

Bucky hated that. He didn’t want you to talk to him or even see him for that matter. You had told him that you wanted to give him the chance to apologize, but Bucky just didn’t believe that. He had truly believed that you were going to give Jason another chance and that you were going to leave him. You assured him that you weren’t going to do anything of the sorts, but both of you were heated and the argument kept escalating until he said something that pushed you over the edge.

“I can’t believe that you’re still going to meet with him after I told you that I didn’t want you to!” Bucky exclaimed. “You’re such a selfish bitch!”

You both stopped talking, the room falling completely silent. You were shocked that he had actually just called you a selfish bitch, especially when you had done everything for him, just like he did everything for you. You were a healthy, loving couple, so you found it absolute bullshit that he had just said those words.

Laughing in disbelief, you threw caution to the wind with your next words. “James Barnes, we are over,” You sneered, grabbing your purse and your keys and exiting the room, leaving Bucky in a state of shock.

After a week of completely ignoring him, he was getting desperate. You had moved back into your old room, you had told Tony to not put the two of you on missions together unless absolutely necessary, and you hadn’t spoken a word to Bucky since that day.

Bucky tried talking to you during lunch. He had started simple, by asking for some bread for the sandwich he was making. You calmly handed him the loaf of bread, but you didn’t say a word.

It was true that you missed him. He was the best thing that ever happened to you, but you just couldn’t be with him if he genuinely believed that you were being selfish after everything that you did for him over the past three years.

“(Y/N), would you please just talk to me?” Bucky asked as he turned to face you. You didn’t turn toward him; you just kept making your sandwich.

“Why? So you can tell me that I’m just being selfish?” You quipped.

“I didn’t mean that, doll,” He started. You could tell that if he kept talking about it, that you would go back to him. Yes, you missed him, but his words really hurt you. “We were getting heated, and I hated the idea of your ex trying to apologize to you and possibly making a move on you. I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I regret it. (Y/N), I love you so much and I just want you to forgive me.”

You didn’t say anything to him, instead, you just grabbed your now finished sandwich and went to the living room to sit with Natasha and Bruce.

Bucky was making a plan.

The next day, you went out for a run with Steve. You managed to keep up with him for the most part, and it felt amazing to clear your head with some fresh air. When you got back to the tower, you went straight to your room to avoid Bucky. You knew that you were missing him so much that you were about to ask for him back. But you couldn’t. It still hurt.

Upon entering your room, you noticed a box on your bed with a note on top of it. You furrowed your eyebrows as you picked up the note, immediately recognizing the handwriting to be Bucky’s.

Meet me in the conference room at six o’clock. Please wear this.

You opened the box and pulled out the dark green dress that he had gotten you. It fell just above the knees, and it flowed gently past the waist. It was a stunning dress that was reminiscent of the one that you had worn when you first met Bucky.

You sighed, deciding to go along with whatever Bucky was planning. After showering, you styled your hair and put on very light makeup, throwing on the dress and picking the gold flats that you wore when you first met him.

The clock read 5:54 when you were done, so you walked out of your room and to the conference room on the next floor down. The lights in the hallway were dimmed, which confused you. All of the lights in this tower were usually rather bright.

The conference room was at the end of the hall and on the left, so you walked in and observed. The lights were off, save for the warm Christmas lights that lined the walls. Rose petals covered the floor around the edges of the room, and Bucky stood in the center of the room. “Speechless” was once again playing, and you knew that this was your song.

There he stood in the same tux that he wore the night you met him, his hair pulled back into a bun. He softly smiled at you.

“Bucky, what is all of this?” You asked gently as you stepped into the room further.

“I messed up, sweetheart, and I want to make it right,” He said. He held his hand out, making your body tingle with electricity. You missed him so fucking much. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’d love to, Bucky.”

The two of you swayed to the music, staring into each other’s eyes. “I didn’t mean what I said, you know,” He started. “It was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”

“I know, Buck,” You whispered. “I forgive you.”

You rested your head on his shoulder and he gripped you tightly until the song ended. Even though the song was over, you still held on to each other, too scared to let go as if you would fade away if you did.

After a couple of minutes, Bucky was the first to pull away. He reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a small box. He got down on one knee, opening the box to reveal a stunning diamond ring.

You gasped as he spoke. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), you have been the light of my life ever since we met. You make me feel more human than anybody else, and I’m so honored to be able to call you mine. And I want to be yours for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” He asked.

You nodded your head and he stood up, smiling widely and putting the ring on your finger. You threw your arms around him, hugging him so tightly that you thought for a moment that he couldn’t breathe.

He took your hand and guided you out of the room, leading you to the living room area back on the residence floor. When you got there, the entire team was waiting for you. They looked at you guys expectantly as you subtly hid behind Bucky.

Bucky looked down at you, and you smiled up at him, holding your left hand up for the rest of the team to see. They cheered loudly, coming up to you and hugging you guys while asking to see the ring.

The entire time, you kept looking to Bucky, who looked the happiest he had been in a while. It made your heart soar and tingle.

iv.

The ceremony went beautifully. It was the wedding of your dreams, and you had those closest to you there on your big day.

You smiled as you walked down the aisle, noticing a tear escape from Bucky. The minister did the ceremony flawlessly, and you were announced Mr. and Mrs. James Barnes.

The reception was just as beautiful. The head table was small since it was just you, him, two bridesmaids, and two groomsmen. Natasha and Wanda sat to your right, and Steve and Sam sat to Bucky’s left.

The speeches were lovely. Natasha, Steve, and Tony spoke about the two of you and your relationship leading up until this point. Tony, of course, included embarrassing moments and a lot of humor to make the crowd laugh. Natasha’s was full of sentiment and love, and Steve’s was gloriously written--it seemed he was as good of an author as he was an artist.

The first dance came up. The choice for the song was obvious-- ”Speechless”.

As you danced to the song, you stared into each other’s eyes. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” You asked him.

“And I would do everything all over again just for this moment,” Bucky smiled. You placed a gentle kiss on his lips and smiled. You couldn’t believe just how lucky you were to have someone as loving and special as he was. He was your everything; he was the sun, the moon, and the stars. You loved him more than you loved yourself.

“James Barnes, you are the love of my life,” You smiled.

“(Y/N) Barnes, I love you more than life itself.”

[mrs-berry]

Like the Sun

Read on AO3!

Summary: Marinette asks Chat Noir a question she really should not have asked. Chat Noir is ecstatic to give her more of an answer than she wanted, which leads to some regret and a major mistake... (Inspired by this post!)

Word Count: 2366

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an ordinary evening, just like any other. Chat Noir had come to visit his favourite civilian on her rooftop balcony, which was dimly lit with fairy lights.

The pair sipped on hot chocolate as they leaned over the railing and gazed at the beautiful view before them. The sun had begun its journey to the horizon, leaving a stunning array of oranges and reds amongst the sky.

Marinette set down her mug on the table behind her, rubbing her hands together to gather warmth from the slightly cool air.

"I'm probably going to regret asking this," Marinette mumbled to herself, but Chat's keen ears picked up on it anyway. "But why did you fall for Ladybug?"

Chat Noir's jaw dropped open in shock and he stared bug-eyed at her as if it was dumbest question he had ever heard. Which, in his mind, it just might be.

He put his hand to his chest as if the question personally offended him.

Then, a silky smooth cheshire grin slowly overtook his initial expression.

Now, he looked like the cat that got the cream.

Marinette was already regretting her question.

"Marinette. Princess. Mousinette. My little lady. Heh. I'm so glad you asked— even if the answer should be blindingly obvious," he spoke with a smug grin and air of total confidence. "Ladybug is amazing."

He paused dramatically, giving her time to brace herself for the holy reasons that only she would have the privilege of hearing. During his silence, he set down his mug as he would need both hands for his impassioned gesturing.

"... That's it?" she asked, clearly unimpressed.

Chat burst into laughter, the thought of that being all there was to say was completely laughable and insane. He loved Marinette, but she sure could be silly sometimes!

Wiping away the tears that had sprung to his eyes, he shook his head emphatically and put his hands across his chest in a big "X" to indicate she was totally wrong.

"No, you didn't let me finish—haha—my impatient princess," he finally managed to say as his laughter subsided.

"Well, you stopped talking, what else was I supposed to think?" she said, a wry grin on her face. He may have been laughing at her, but she still enjoyed hearing his laughter. It felt good. It felt free.

"I was pawsing to build up the anticipation—the excitement," he stated as if it should have been obvious, throwing out his hands as if measuring said excitement.

Marinette rolled her eyes.

"Well, purrdon me then. Carry on," she encouraged, bowing and gesturing that he had the floor now.

Chat beamed, glowing at her usage of a pun and her dramatics that mirrored his own. He was really rubbing off on her and it brought him immense glee.

"Well, where do I even begin? There's just so much! The first thing that made me realize she was amazing was when she threw me into the clutches of Stoneheart's fist. I thought she was crazy, but it turned out she was brilliant—a creative genius!" Chat gushed, relishing in the wonderful memory of their first battle together.

Marinette covered her mouth, kind of surprised he not only remembered it, but that he remembered it fondly. She also felt a bit embarrassed to hear him calling her a genius. He really did like to exaggerate and be all theatrical.

"It didn't take me long to fall for her. But the actual moment I knew I loved her—I'm talking head-over-heels in love—was when she stood up to Hawk Moth when she first met him. She made her declaration that we would find him and take his Miraculous and then she proceeded to capture and purify an enormous amount of Akumas. After that, she promised to all of Paris that we would protect everyone and keep them safe. It was the coolest speech I ever witnessed and I know I'm not doing it justice, but it was incredibly impressive and awe-inspiring. She was just... so badass and I'm lucky I got to witness it firsthand. I'm even luckier that I have the honour—nay, the privilege—of being her partner. I seriously love that girl..." he trailed off with a lovestruck expression and his hands clasped to his chest in pure adoration as he stared off into space, remembering the moment she stole his heart.

Marinette couldn't stop the liquid hot warmth that spread through her cheeks, her accelerated heart pumping blood throughout her body at ridiculous speeds.

His moment... it kind of reminded her of her moment with Adrien. Like her, Chat was able to pinpoint the moment his heart no longer belonged to himself; the moment the lightning had struck. She had that same moment on a stormy school day, outside with a new student who gave her a terrible first impression but spun things around so fast, she fell so hard and couldn't stop herself.

But with Chat, there was no specific moment she could pinpoint falling for him.

Wait.

She shook her head. That was a strange thought, seeing as she hadn't fallen for him.

Right?

"Anyway, that's just the beginning. There's so many more moments and things about her I love," he continued, complete oblivious to Marinette's inner dilemma and flustered state due to his own reminiscing.

"O-oh yeah, like what?" Marinette struggled to ask in a normal voice. She felt like she was in a sauna with how warm she had gotten.

Maybe she was getting sick?

(Of course! That would explain her delirious thoughts.)

"Milady is incredibly witty. No one else I know can banter with me like she does."

"Oof, I'm hurt," Marinette teased, having recovered slightly from her abnormal thoughts after chalking them up to her being unwell, and not actually offended due to obvious reasons (that is, her being Ladybug).

"Sorry, Marimouse, it's true you have sharp wit, too. Actually, thinking about it, you would probably give Ladybug a run for her money. I'd love to see you two go against each other in a battle of wits," he said, eyes alight at the idea.

"Eep!" Marinette squeaked, tugging at her sleeve nervously. "Uh, I bet she would win that. Haha."

Not that that can ever happen, she thought.

"Hmm, purrhaps. Anywho, back to my 101 reasons for catching the lovebug for my LoveBug," he sighed in bliss, his thoughts once again drifting to the girl of his dreams.

Marinette rolled her eyes again, trying to resist the blush that threatened to return. Her kitty was so silly.

Yet so cute.

Wait, what? Marinette mentally swatted away the totally uncalled-for thought.

"Ladybug can take the most hopeless and grim situation and turn it around. Her Lucky Charms are obscure, yet she always figures them out. She always manages to come up with a plan and I love how quirky they often end up being. It's exhilarating waiting to see what surprising ideas she'll come up with!"

"So... basically, you like her because she is crazy and weird?" Marinette asked, not really realizing what was so great about that.

"That's not how I see it. She's creative and unexpected. She makes things fun and exciting. She keeps me on my toes," he corrected her.

"O-okay. Well, is that it?" Marinette asked, kind of hoping that was all. She wasn't sure how much more praise she could handle.

"Not even close!" he retorted, as if shocked she could even harbor such a ridiculous thought. "Ladybug is a great leader. She takes responsibility, makes snap decisions, delegates tasks, and successfully executes her plans to thwart Hawk Moth. She trusts her instincts—and her instincts are good. She's a great problem solver. She really has a great mind and laser-sharp focus. She truly cares about Paris and her teammates. She is a good person, through and through," he listed with ease.

Marinette was speechless and felt a bit dizzy. She knew her partner liked her, but it never really sunk in how much and how highly he thought of her.

Marinette turned her face away. He was painting her way more highly than he should.

"Doesn't she ever make mistakes? Doesn't she ever get on your nerves?" Marinette asked. Surely, he recognized she had flaws as well.

"Of course she makes mistakes, she's still human even with the superpowers. But she does her best to fix them. Sometimes I wish she would rely on me and the others a little more than she does, but she's strongly independent. Still, when it really matters, she has always found the solution or gotten the help she needs. She's always been able to overcome whatever obstacles or mistakes she's made and come out stronger for it. Ladybug's resilient like that," he answered, still clearly filled with love for her.

Marinette didn't know what to say, so she just bit her lip and waited for him to continue.

"As for getting on my nerves? Sure, we've had our fights. Usually it's because she's stubborn about her responsibilities, so I can't really fault her for that. For example, I hated feeling left out about some things and I told her as much. I could tell she wasn't withholding information to hurt me, though. And shortly after telling her my feelings, she managed to convince one of our... 'teammates' that I should also be in the know regarding some matters. So she had taken my feelings seriously and I appreciate it. And when I was upset with her for not showing up that night—the one where I set up all the candles for her—she explained and apologized to me later after we fought Glaciator. Ladybug always has good reasons for doing what she does. She never intentionally hurts me or gets mad at me," Chat explained, a fond smile on his lips.

He was too good, too pure.

Marinette struggled to remain composed at how understanding he was. She hadn't fully realized before just how thoughtful her kitty was.

"Anyway, I love Ladybug. I love her for her strengths and how amazing she is, but I also love her for her flaws and how human she is. Everyone else probably just sees her as a responsible superhero—and she is—but I get to see her as so much more. I trust her with my life and with my heart," he confessed lovingly. Then sorrowfully added, "Even though she doesn't feel the same way."

Marinette felt her heart twist and put a comforting hand on his back. Even though he didn't know it, it was Marinette that had put that sad expression on him.

"You know, to me, Ladybug is like the sun," Chat admitted, his face suddenly brightening again.

Marinette raised an eyebrow at the change in subject, curious as to how he came to that conclusion.

"Her smile shines brilliantly," he began.

She couldn't stop the smile that spread. She quickly self-consciously covered her mouth, as she waited for him to continue.

"She's strong, mentally and physically," he continued. Then, with a chuckle, he said proudly, "She can lift and throw me like I'm the weight of a feather."

Marinette giggled at that, as well.

"She can give some good burns, with her sharp comebacks. I would know, as I've experience first-degree burns from her," he laughed again.

Marinette laughed too. He was very witty himself. Though he was usually too nice to "burn" her.

"She's impossible to miss. Rather than saying she lights up a room, I guess you could say she lights up any area she leaps into," he said with awe, gesturing widely with his hands.

Marinette shyly played with one of her pigtails. He was just exaggerating again, surely.

"She's warm and caring, she obviously loves Paris very much and I'm sure all of Paris can feel her warmth."

Paris wasn't the only thing feeling warm, Marinette thought as she began feeling like she had stepped back into that sauna again.

"She is needed and very important. Like the plants need the sun to grow, Paris needs her to survive and thrive," he spoke with sincerity, as he truly meant it.

Marinette was pretty sure she was going to combust any moment. She wasn't sure she could actually handle any more.

"Her mind is bright—blindingly so. I have never met anyone else quite as clever as her," he stated. Then he turned to Marinette with a wink, "Then again, I seem to know a few clever people. You're also one of them, of course. Again, you could pawsibly be competition for LB in that regard."

Marinette was about to protest again, but he spoke up before she had the chance.

"I cannot spend all my time with her. Just like the sun sets, she too must leave after a battle. But my heart is assured that she will reappear. Just like the sun rises, Ladybug will return when Paris needs her again. Though I wish it were more often." A bittersweet sigh escaped his lips.

Marinette just stared at him in wonder at this point, mouth agape and cheeks flushed.

"And, finally, I'd happily let my life revolve around her if she'd let me. Just like the planets revolve around the sun, which is centered in the solar system, I'd love her to be the centre of my life." He raised a hand to his heart as he gazed at the setting sun.

Then, Chat turned his whole body towards Marinette. He was looking at her with unconditional love in his eyes—the look he so frequently showed to Ladybug.

The look of pure love and adoration.

Oh.

And on instinct, without any coherent or logical thought, Marinette lurched forward, grasping his cheeks, pulling him down toward her, closed her eyes and kissed him point blank on the lips.

Chat froze in shock, eyes wide and pupils dilated.

Before he could even properly react, it was over.

Her lips suddenly felt cold from the sudden onset then absence of warm, soft lips. It took a moment for her to process what had just happened; what she had just initiated.

Oh god, what had she just done?

[levyfiles]

27 for the end of year asks?

#27. Have you done anything that scared you?

Ooof Ok. A little backstory then. Warning: this is a long little personal irl tale and hopefully interesting enough to be worth sharing so I’ll put it under a cut.

Before I got my promotion in January, I had spent all of last year already doing the work for less of the pay because my manager trained me to do all the paperwork and accounting for her on Wednesday so she could focus on other stuff. I was fully trained to run the accounting on the full slot count every day but there were no shifts available for me to be supervisor because a guy (let’s call him R) who had worked there much longer than I had taken on more shifts earlier last year. I was patient and worked full time, I even covered for anyone who was sick, did my time until said guy moved on to another department. 

Suddenly the shifts opened up and unfortunately at the same time, another guy (we’ll call him B) who had the Saturday supervising shift took some time off because of an injury and of course, like I said in an earlier ask, a really shitty worker quit. I was, from the end of February and all of March and April, running the department from Thursday to Sunday with 3 brand new workers who I had to train at the same time as do the job I had to. It was hard, the hours were longer, and there were times I really felt so drained I thought I’d never get my regular life back. 

B quit permanently because he couldn’t do the more physical aspects of our work which involve hauling 1 tonne iron carts full of over 500 slot machine casettes full of money across the casino and then opening said casettes one by one to count and sort the cash. The job involves a lot of repetitive hand-intensive tasks and for all the math and stacks of cash and electrical sorters, the hardest part of the job is getting the money off the floor at hours between 2am - 4am or at earliest 6am. It takes a toll on people and the body. I’m lucky enough that I’ve always been nocturnal so the hours are me at my sharpest and strongest.

At some juncture in May, R who had gone to tables to be a dealer wanted to come back. The hours were shit and guests who play poker are too often assholes to the card dealers. I learned the news second hand from a guest service manager that my manager had already agreed to reschedule him to come back.immediately. I confronted R who had neither told me he was leaving to begin with and didn’t tell me he had plans to come back. He told me everything I heard was true and worse. I was terrified because a) what I had had to go through to train the new crew b) the large amount of time I’d spent waiting for this promotion. 

It hurt all the more because R happens to be one of my really good friends. I called my manager that morning to ask her about it. I’ll always think about that phone call and what it taught me about how people are in positions of authority even when they tell you ‘you can talk to me about anything’. Her first reaction was to act like she didn’t know what I was talking about and she flip-switched the moment I told her who told me about it. That I had asked R personally and he told me his return date, that he’d been guaranteed by higher management that he could come back and that everything would be the same; that his stint on the dealing tables was just a trial to see if he would like it given that the dealing department was short (for obvious reasons). She sighed and switched up her tack, suddenly it was “no one was supposed to know” and other crap. Finally I was able to work up the nerve to ask her, “After all we’ve been through, me and the new crew; am I going to lose my position so R can come back and have his old one?” She seemed surprised by the question and the entire conversation in general, but she guaranteed that there was a miscommunication; that R’s return would only impact the new girls. My position was safe. 

This bothered me. It bothered me because my manager, before news of R’s coming back had dropped, had started training one of these new girls (let’s call her S) to cover my position if I was ever sick or injured (very normal thing to do) so now there would be 3 people on the crew who could do the job I was doing. Before R wanted back in, I was relieved that maybe S would get a supervising shift so I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. 

Now this is where it gets complicated. The schedule was all over the place. S was now fully trained to cover for anyone who didn’t show, got sick, or injured is great at her job; we all love her. She fits right in. and is always willing to cover shifts and has since become my movie-night buddy. A week after she was trained, my manager sends me an email saying that we’ve got the new crew cemented, she’s got the new schedule all worked out. She keeps me on Thursdays and Fridays, gives R Saturdays, and then S takes Sunday because, according to my manager “Everyone who’s trained to supervise and do the accounting needs to have a regular shift. It’s only fair.” 

So just a reminder, the whole of last year I was put on call, working under two adolescent dudes who I had to push myself to my physical limit to be as good as all while waiting and wondering if a shift would ever open up; if I’d ever be able to actually get paid for the job I was already doing for my manager on Wednesdays. That whole time it had never seemed to occur to her to give me one of R or B’s shifts, but now suddenly she has someone new on that’s not me, it’s all about being fair and delegating out shifts fairly. I was really hurt. It was that all my hard work this past two years would mean nothing and to speak up would mean I’d be ruining S’s chance, have her waiting as long as I did or maybe longer to earn a shift. Usual me would do nothing, just take what I had got and never really speak about how mad and hurt I was about being passed over for a year and only given a promotion when my manager had lost two of her staff. I was mad that a guy could leap between departments and still be guaranteed everything and It made me concerned that if I hadn’t called her that morning, would she have bothered to preserve my position. Would it have been a no communication, silent demotion where I check the schedule and everything’s back to what it was last year. It’s hard watching that happen, hard not to think when you’re the one mixed-race black girl in a small predominately white run casino that being treated like crap feels equated to something a little more deep-seated than just coincidence or circumstance. 

First I talked to S. I just asked her how she felt about the job, about the trial by fire she went through in her first months working with us and she had been hinting a lot lately about how she felt a little bit of resentment for R because with his return, she was worried her and I wouldn’t be as close. That was a whole other thing we would later need to work out. The conclusion we got to was she didn’t want a supervising shift because she was working part time in maintenance outdoors and she liked it that way. I on the other hand, only have the department we were in.

I made the decision not to be usual me. It was mid-June and I invited my manager out for breakfast after work one day and I sat with her over eggs at Denny’s and I told her how the past year had felt, how it had looked when she made the decision to cut my shifts in the fashion of fairness when I had waiting a year and some months since being trained to get a chance at a regular supervising shift, that when i finally did get the promotion, it was like being abandoned because it was only after R and B were gone. I was terrified the whole time I gave my little speech because I didn’t want to appear angry or overly emotional in any capacity because if she was doing this on purpose, my reaction could easily be taken as aggressive and then I would definitely lose it all. 

I was surprised. She apologised to me, said that the thought had never occurred to her that I had been waiting, that she wished I had said something before. Feels strange now. She could easily have been lying to me, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Now R, S, and I work together and we have a lot of fun at work and we help one another. I still keep all my supervising shifts and R (who turns out is a part time streamer on Twitch) wanted more time off anyway so there’s been no bad blood at all. Weirdly enough, in August, we all went to R’s wedding and celebrated with him until they packed up the venue, and just yesterday, we had a dinner together with R and his wife, S, me and another one of our coworkers. We feel like family most days and that is worth the terror and the fear I had going into the job to start with and speaking up for myself. Sometimes shit like that works out and I don’t think I’m going to be too meek or afraid to take a leap like that where my job’s concerned anymore.

(bravo if you made it to the end of this weird little story

[skylarri-fanfics1991]

In Another Life. The Finale: Part II Snippet.

A/N: It’s been 84 years...

There’s a quick knock on the door to let her know someone’s coming in, and then Peta is there, and she’s dragging Val by the arm in behind her. 

Zendaya sucks in a sharp breath, her eyes raking over the man she hadn’t seen in person in almost seven years. Nerves shoot through her, and she balls her fists and crosses her arms over her chest in attempt to smooth them. 

“..-getting sick of your behavior,” Peta hisses at Val, and Zendaya gulps at the turbulent expression on his face as he looks at his sister-in-law. “I didn’t invite Zendaya here just for you to give her the cold-shoulder the entire night. You’re going to listen to her and you both,” Peta looks across at Zendaya, “are going to talk things out. Are we clear?” 

Val shakes Peta’s hand off his arm. “Crystal,” he practically spits, walking away from the two women to the other side of the room. 

Zendaya watches him, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. He still hadn’t spared her even a glance. She hadn’t expected anything less but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt. 

A gentle hand suddenly covers one of her balled-up fists and she looks quickly up at Peta. 

She squeezes her hand in silent encouragement. “Be strong,” she whispers with a nod. After looking once more at Val, a tired sigh escaping her lips, she turns and exits the room. 

And she’s left alone, without the support of Peta or the safety net of blending into the background of other people, and she takes in a ragged breath, her palms beginning to sweat. 

Val looks out one of the large windows, his hands in his pockets as he stares out at the heavy downpour over the estate. 

He’s changed so much. Yet he hasn’t at all. 

Of course time aged him to the 33 year old man he is now. There might be a few more lines on his forehead and around his mouth, but otherwise, he looks the same as the last time she spoke with him. 

It’s the way he holds himself now. Watching him interact with other people all night, and...and with Jenna, it was so noticeable to her. He was more subdued, more guarded. Whereas before-...before everything...he would’ve been more emotive in such a situation with family and friends. Now... 

She hugs her arms around her middle, her heart feeling heavy. The person across the room from her was a consequence of the actions she’d taken all those years ago. This coldness? She knows that it’s of her doing. 

 “So are you just going to stare at me all night, or are you actually going to get the courage to say something?”

His question jolts her out of her thoughts abruptly, and she stares stupidly at him, figuring that she would be the first one to speak. 

“I-I-...” she trails off, mouth opening and closing. 

He turns his head and she’s skewered to the spot when those green eyes pin hers suddenly. The level of indifference, of contempt even, she notices in them are like bullets through her gut. She can only gape like a fish while he then takes quick inspection of her, as if cataloguing how she had changed over the years.

Then he looks back at her and arches an expectant brow. Realizing that he was actually wanting an answer, her cheeks flush in humiliation and she looks at her feet. 

“I-um...congratulations,” she offers lamely, glancing up beneath her lashes. 

“Thanks,” he sneers. “If that’s all, I’ll return to the party now,” and then he’s moving towards the door and Zendaya panics and races forward.

“No, wait!” she grabs his arm and they both freeze at the contact. 

Sparks shoot up her arm from her hand where it grips his bicep. Underneath her palm, his muscles are coiled like a spring, and her eyes shoot to his face, catching that tell-tale jaw clench she knows all too well. 

“Val,” she whispers, and her saying his name seems to make him even more angry. 

“Don’t touch me,” he seethes, ripping his arm out of her grasp. His eyes catch hers and he levels her with a glare that tears into her enough she takes a small step back. 

“I don’t know why you came tonight, after all these years of blocking me out of your life,” he begins, and her heart skips a beat. Here it goes. “-and to be honest, I don’t give a fuck. All I want to do is go back to my engagement party and try to forget that my sister-in-law thought it would be a great idea to bring you here. So if you could just kindly get the fuck away from me and my family-go back to whatever the hell it was that you were doing before- that would be great.” 

His viciousness hurts her, yet she’s not going to let him get away that easily. 

“Just wait! Please,” she begs, her nervousness and fear of facing him again slowly disappearing. She can’t pussy-foot around about this. If she wanted to make any lee-way she needed to have courage. Be strong. With Peta’s words encouraging her, she squares her shoulders. 

He stops at the door, but doesn’t turn around. 

“I know that this is probably the worst time to be doing this-to be having this conversation, considering everything,” she takes in a shaky breath, “-but...god, I don’t even know where to begin.”

Val turns, eyes slowly meeting hers. His expression is carefully blank, but the fact that he’s giving her his attention is as much clue as any that he’s going to let her have this chance to talk. 

“How about you start with why,” he suggests, voice giving away nothing. “Why you erased me-and my family-from your life.” 

Tears well up in her eyes, and she can’t even be upset that she’d caved so quickly. “Right. I-okay..” she nods, biting her bottom lip. “I-Val I wish I could give you a good reason, but I just-I don’t have one,” she stares down at the floor in shame. Here we go. 

“When you broke things off that night...I was so hurt and betrayed. I wanted you to fight for us to be together still, not cave to my dad.” His eyes go glassy as his mind no doubt goes back to their last moments together. “I realized later, of course, that you and my dad did the right thing. But in the moment? Right after?” she shakes her head, “I wanted to lash out.”

His jaw ticks and she laughs hollowly. “You told me I should be sixteen so I became the most childish sixteen year old I could be. I got petty because I was so hurt and I wanted you to feel as hurt as I did at the time and I abandoned you-...like I felt you were doing to me.” Her vision blurs as a solitary tear escapes. His face still remains impassive, giving away nothing. The only sign she gets that he’s even listening at all are is his hands clenching tighter at his sides.

“And I am so sorry for that-” she cries, voice warbling, “I’m so sorry for ignoring you-for growing up and not doing anything when I knew better. For not just hurting you, but your family-one that I grew up calling my own. I-” her arms cross over her chest as she begins to shake. “-and I hate myself for knowing that without Peta demanding that Maks call me...I could have very well gone on doing the same thing for the rest of my life. Pretending that you don’t exist.”

She sucks in a sharp, stuttering breath as she finishes her speech, eyes searching his for any sign that she’s reaching through to him. 

He stares at the ground with half-shuttered lids, pulling the corner of his mouth in by his teeth in that familiar way that has her chest aching at the sight. 

After what feels like an eternity, he begins to move towards her in the same slow manner, his gait like a burning fuse getting closer and closer to the dynamite about to blow. 

Her breath hitches when he stops close enough that she can smell his cologne, and she criss-crosses her fingers in front of her. 

“Thank you...for your honesty,” he begins, still looking at the ground somewhere to her right. “No matter how much I might have detested your presence here tonight, I am thankful that I’ve finally gotten the closure I needed from all of this.”

Her heart drops as those emotionless eyes finally meet hers, and he stares at her for a long moment. 

“But even with your explanation I’m still left feeling....confused. Because what you said...it’s something the girl I knew would never have done.” His voice becomes more vehement as that deep-rooted anger begins to show itself and Zendaya backs up instinctively. 

He follows, cornering her into the wall by the door. 

“The girl I knew, the girl I loved-” he spits, “-would never have done something so inconceivably childish and hurtful. She never would have shunned an entire second family that’s known her since she was born, she never-” his fist suddenly slams against the side of her head and she gasps, frightened. Her heart tells her that no matter what, Val would never lay a hand on her but now? It hurt that she couldn’t be so sure anymore. 

She breathes fast as her heart pounds in her chest, staying very still. Val’s whole body was trembling. It was like he was trying to keep himself in check. 

It’s deadly silent between them. Zendaya’s stomach flips as the realization that they’ve come to this point hits her. This place of such deep hurt and resentment and regret. 

Then the most heartbreaking sound in the world comes out of Val and her eyes snap to his. She watches unbelievingly as tears well up in his eyes and then it’s like a dam breaking from within him. 

His head drops heavily on the wall over her shoulder, his hand sliding lower on the other side of her. He’s not touching her but the incredibly close proximity is overwhelming. 

“I never wanted you to leave,” he croaks out, shaking his head slowly against the wall. Her eyes widen at his broken admission. “I didn’t want to leave you. You were supposed to understand. You were supposed to-to know what I meant when I said we couldn’t be together that night. You weren’t supposed to leave me. Why, Zendaya? Why did you leave me?”

He pulls back and the breath leaves her at the devastation in his eyes and she can only gape in horror at the raw display of emotion. Obviously something he’d buried for a long time just now being released. 

“I-I-” she stutters, hiccuping as sobs crawl up her throat anew. “I was hurt and I didn’t understand at the time-” she cries, eyes darting between his, “I’m so sorry. Val, I’m sorry-” she reaches up hesitantly to place her hands on either side of his face. 

The touch burns both of them, and he grabs her wrists tightly, pushing them forcefully back and against the wall on either side of her. 

“No. Don’t-just don’t,” he bites out, still holding her arms back. 

She nods, sucking back a sharp breath in an attempt to slow down her erratic heart. 

His eyebrows pinch as he turns his head towards the side, staring almost curiously at his hand squeezing her wrist. Carefully, like he’s dealing with a wild animal, he loosens his harsh grip. He curves his hand around the back of hers, his thumb sliding up the inside of her hand in an agonizingly slow manner. 

With a jolt, it hits her what he’s doing and she sinks into herself, staying as still as possible as he explores her lost touch. 

[avidfanficwriter]

The Other Sister (Chapter 2)

Characters: Steve Rogers(AU!) x OFC.

Summary: After five years of marriage, Steve Rogers finds himself questioning everything that his wife, Annabel has ever told him thanks to the impromptu visit by her troubled younger sister: Addison; whose existence he’s just learned about fives years prior. His only question now is: who verison is the truth? His loving wife? Or the troubled sister? 

Ratings: M.

Warnings: Mentions/indications of depression, mentions of sexual abuse, indication of mental abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. (Warnings will be updated as chapters come)

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. 

Tags:  rangotangomango  lilulo-12  wolflhards 

The day of their wedding, Steve felt sick, even arriving at the venue was a difficult task, every turn that brought them closer only quickened his heart rate. "She's off drugs?" he double checked with his wife-to-be.  He'd gone over the worse case scenarios in his head and even as he tried to calm himself down, convince himself that he was overreacting, He couldn't stop the thoughts that continued to pile up.

"I told her to be clean." Annabel said quietly, "I'm sure she'll listen." He didn't believe it and was half convinced neither did she.

Their wedding was different than the usual, not at all what her parents had envisioned or the guests. They were going to have a short party before the wedding, a few drinks would be served and then the wedding would begin and the dinner afterwards. Instead of going straight into their hotel rooms and get ready, they mingled with their guests. Annabel spots Addison after a short while, Steve feels her hand squeeze his arm and she gasps. "Oh, she came and she looks drug free!" His eyes fall to the mystery sister and he's taken back. She looks normal... to normal. She's in a light blue dress that comes down to her knees and her hair is pulled into a bun, it's almost more shocking that she doesn't look a thing like Annabel or her parents. It's no wonder they were able to just forget her, she was the odd child.

"Addy, you're here!" Annabel squealed as she rushes towards her sister, she towers over her full of glee.

"You sent me a plane ticket," She responds in a monotone voice as Annabel engulfs her in a large hug. Addison has a internal struggle as to how to respond, hugging felt to impersonal and not hugging felt rude, in the end she stayed still, her mind overthinking too much to remember to actually do one of the options.

"Shit, I didn't tell mom and dad you were here." Annabel suddenly confesses.

Addison chokes on her breath, it's like her body forgot how to function, she can't move. She is scared to death, stuck between wanting her sister to never let her go and tossing herself in front of a moving vehicle. All she can hope is her sister changes her mind, by some miracle maybe the stars will align and every god that exists or a genie will appear and give her this one wish that she's forced to leave. Annabel will shout, scream and force her to leave this place and never return.

If only fate was that nice.

Annabel taps gently on her sisters back before she's suddenly pulled away and her worst nightmare comes true. Clear as day, there she is. "Addison." She hears and now she's positive she'll never start breathing properly. That she'll die, her heart is going to stop and she'll be tossed in a garbage bin. There's a silent plea for help that is conveyed through her eyes as she comes face to face with the woman that gave her life. Annabel stands aside the two women, her eyes going back and forth between the two women watching silently.

"Mo-Courtney... Uh.. Mrs. Shaw." She struggles at first, her voice is almost non-existent and her eyes drop immediately. She's been forced to see the disappointment that laid dormant in her mother's green eyes that she didn't think she could handle it today. Her mother looks exactly the same, dressed far better than everyone, the same color hair dye, her body covered in jewelry. Her mother was lavish but classy.

"What makes you think you have any right to be here?" She remarks turning up her nose. "And wearing that ill-fated color? Blue is not a flattering color on you, you would know that if you weren't to busy shoving illegal substances into your body."

Addison stands still, her eyes tracing lines in the ground as she faces her mother's berating. "You have some nerve showing up. What is your plan? To ruin this event? Are we not welcome to one decent memory in this family that will not be ruined by you?" She feels herself growing smaller, like a doormat being trampled on which only worsens when her father joins the 'kick Addison party.' He's not one to spare feelings, his insults come quicker and harsher, he doesn't hold back. "You ruined this family with your refusal to grow up and you think you have the right to be here? That you can pick and choose when to be part of this family! You're not welcome here." He spits.

Addison wants to try to make the situation better, say her sister invited her and that she only came out of remorse but it won't come out. Nothing is coming out. Not a single word. She has tears in her eyes and her breath is shaky as she tries to contain herself. "You came here to screw up this day? Like you did every other day of your lives? Ruin your sisters day because what? You need drug money?" Her father shouts, reaching into his black slacks and pulling out his wallet, he grabs the loose dollars her has and tosses them at her. "There now be gone."

Steve isn't far from the abuse when he notices Addison, she's small compared to the three and her eyes never leave the ground. The green paper slowly falls to the ground at her feet but she still refuses to move. All he wants to do is run over and console her, shout at them and force them to act their ages but their is in-laws. His family and as much as he hates to admit it, maybe she deserved this. It could be her wake up call. The one thing she needs to get her act together. He watches helplessly, waiting for the moment he'd heard all to much, Addison's explosion. Every story Annabel had confessed to him, all ended the same way, she would threaten them or worse lash out at them and storm off. Only the moment never comes.

"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Shaw." Addison simply says in response to their brutal words and walks away. Steve's eyes follow her as she leaves them, trying to disappear from their eyesight and he notices she wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. It's out of character and even her parents are left speechless, glaring in the direction she had disappeared to. Steve chalks it down to her trying to be good for her sister's wedding.

Shockingly, their wedding went off without a hitch, Mr. and Mrs. Shaw sat in the front row, sobbing as they watched their only daughter walk down the aisle to get married, Addison was seated in the last row, emotionless as the ceremony began. it was how she remained throughout the night, withdrawn. Steve, on the other hand was full of emotions, a stabbing pain in his gut began when his wives, father Gregory began his speech at the dinner.

"My beautiful daughter. The light of my life. My reason for living. The day you were born and I held you in my arms for the first time, I knew you were destined for greatness. I could see it in those tiny little eyes and standing here before you I know it came true. I am so proud of the woman you've turned into, how strong you are. You're the best daughter a father could have. While it breaks my heart to have to give my only daughter away, I know that you'll be taken care of. That is all I want for you. I love you and I'm so excited to see this new chapter of your life begin." His speech seemed to be crafted to hurt Addison, each word meticulously thought out to tell the world, how proud he was of his only child. Steve looked for Addison while Gregory spoke, she was in the back of the room where most of the people they invited for seat fillers were placed. Her eyes were the first thing he noticed, they were empty, it looked like she was staring off into space. She had no reaction to Gregory's words as if she was ignoring them. The speech continued building Annabel up as God's gift and more but Steve remains focused on Addison, watching her for anything. It was almost beginning to annoy him that she wasn't doing anything or even smiling, she seemed to be there in person but mentally elsewhere.

When the time for pictures came there was a part of Steve that cringed when he noticed Addison wasn't invited in them, not even by her sister who wanted her here. Addison stands idly by, almost blending in with everyone else as she smiles.

"Alright, the groom and the bride's family, please." The photographer says ushering the bridesmaids away. Steve flattens his tie against his chest and watches Addison slowly begin to disappear into the crowd as if she's running away.

"Uh... Give me a second." Steve gets out in a rushed tone. "I just need to..." his brain is drawing a blank and facing his now parent-in-laws seemed harder than ever.

"No, no, dear. You have no explaining to us, go find your wife." his mother in law says, gently tapping his shoulder.

Steve smiles, nodding. It's not entirely lying and quickly rushes off in the direction that Addison begin disappearing in. He finds her inside the venue, ordering a soda at the open bar. He had no plan after he went after her, nothing even as to what he is going to say. Addison turns around, nearly crashing into him and lets out a startled gasp.

"I'm sorry." She says in a apologetic tone, immediately cowering down.

"It's my fault." They really were different, he notes. "You're Annabel's sister?" He questions as if he didnt know that already.

The statement gets her attention, she scans the area to see if anyone heard that and finally looks up to meet Steve's eyes. "No... The Shaw's only have one daughter, you must have me confused." There's a small smile at the end of her sentence that doesn't sit well with him. "Congratulations on your wedding."

Steve is left speechless as he watches Addison return to her seat, there a million moves he can make followed by a million things he could say, 'I know you're Addison's sister. Listen everything that has happened is a mistake, a complete misunderstanding." Before he even has a opportunity to do any of that, he's stopped by the actions of his parent-in-laws shouting for the remaining guests inside of the venue to leave. Gregory storms in, face bright red and his body language even more threatening than his voice. "Everyone out! If you're not family, get the hell out! That includes you behind the bar!" Everyone scurries from the room like rats. Steve's attention turns back to Addison whose now standing, her eyes wide and body slowly beginning to tremble.

"What the hell is your problem?" he shouts, pointing his finger accusingly at Addison.

Annabel quickly rushes to her mother's aide, wrapping her arms around her and sobbing.

"You weasel your way into this wedding and what decided to see who you could get to buy some drugs from you?"

Steve takes a step forward, "Whoa-whoa, hold on. Do we even know that she brought drugs here?" He tries to play devil's advocate to no avail.

"Did you or my daughter invite any other known drug users to the wedding?" Gregory questions.

Steve bites his tongue, glancing at his wife whose sobbing hysterically. "I don't have anything, old man." Addison sneers.

"Let me see your purse." He demands, walking towards her, holding out his hand.

"Screw you." Addison shouts, clutching her purse closer to her chest.

"Wait, alright." Steve interrupts. "If you didn't have any drugs on you then we shouldn't have any problems going through your purse, right?" He asks, moving in between the two.

"I have nothing on me."

"Then we'll look into your purse and all will be good, right?" He's praying to God, he's right, it's a misunderstanding. Charlie from his office always seemed a bit sketchy, it could easily be him.

Unreluctantly, Addison hands her purse over to Steve with a shaky breath. He's begging for a tell, something in her eyes that lets him see the truth but there is nothing there. Not even fear or anger, they're just empty. He looks inside the purse, moving a few items around before his eyes grow wide. underneath her wallet was a clear bag of pills, all different shapes and sizes.

"There's nothing in here." He says, gently putting the wallet over the contents again.

There's a surprised reaction inside the room, Annabel gasping and her father, staring at him confused. "You're sure?" he questions.

"Yes." He nods.

"Check the side pockets."

Steve inhales deeply, unzipping the pockets on the side. "Nothing here either."

Gregory doesn't take that as an answer, "No, give me it. There has to be something here." Steve uses his size as an advantage, puffing his chest out and shoving an hand out.

"There's nothing here." He repeats. "Would I lie to you?" Gregory chews on his lower lip, exhaling sharply. With a quick look to Addison, he fears the truth will soon fall out of his mouth. "Addison, I think it's time you leave." Steve shoves the bag into her hands.

Without another word, Addison grips the bag and quickly leaves the room without a look behind her. Gregory who is still filled with anger, moves behind the bar pouring a shot of whiskey and quickly drinking it. Annabel and her mother escape to the bathroom to adjust their makeup, both reeling emotionally from the events. He lets out a deep breath before heading in the same direction Addison went down earlier.  The sour taste in his mouth is only getting worse as he spots her on the sidewalk, a cigarette between her lips as she anxiously waits for her car. "What the hell is wrong with you? Your sister invites you here to extend an olive branch and you bring a bag of pills? Are you capable of only making bad decisions?" He shouts at her long before he even gets near her.

"An olive branch? Is that what you think that was?"

"Why do you think you're here?" Steve asks, tossing his hands up in the air.

"Yeah, you're right. The one time my sister allows me to be apart of this family, I screw it up by bringing a shit ton of pills."

"I just lied for you. I lied to my father-in-law for you!" He's lost all ability to control himself now.

"I didn't put those pills in there!" She closes the space between them, rising to the tips of her toes.

"Who did, huh?"

"I don't know but I didn't."

He chuckles, "Oh my god. You're pathetic." It takes a minute for what she's saying to actually hit him and he can't help but let out another chuckle, rubbing his clean shaven face. "Wow! You really think that they... that Gregory and Courtney put those in your purse?"

"I wouldn't put it past them."

"You don't even know them!" Steve shouts.

"Neither do you." She scoffs, shaking her head. "You think you're marrying into the brady bunch, huh? Sweet wholesome family with their little dog Tiger out in the backyard? Let me tell you something, it takes two awfully screwed up people to make one fucked up kid don't you think?"

"You're blaming them for your decisions?"

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, now does it?" She tosses her cigarette onto the ground and shakes her head. "Like I said congratulations on marrying into the Brady Bunch. Just make sure your dog doesn't get hit by a car." Addison smirks, walking into the parking lot, refusing to take the blame for anything or even share a thank you.

That was almost six years ago, he could barely handle their fight outside of the wedding, how was he supposed to handle a few weeks with her living inside of his house?

Annabel could lie, claim something came up, they had an emergency and she could no longer stay. Only his brain wouldn't let him, technically his mother wouldn't. "We forgive people for their past mistakes, some day, you'll be the one who makes a mistake and wishing someone would forgive you." She had beat that phrase into him when he was just a young boy.

Damn his mother, damn her inspiring speeches and damn him for being a good son and listening.

If his mother was privy to any of the thoughts running rampant in his head, she'd flip over in her grave. Even worse, she'd probably rise up from the grave and whack him on the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper.

Rather face the possibility that his mother would be ashamed of him, he took action. Hiding anything of value they had. Art, trinkets, jewelry; anything that she could make even the tiniest bit of money off of to support her habit. It was wrong and his mother would be annoyed that he was not seeing the best in people but she wasn't someone who had the best inside of them. If he could, he'd replace the furniture just to prevent her from infecting it.

Two days before she gets there, the contractor has another problem. "Listen, the kitchen it's done..."

"Why does it sound like there is a 'but' at the end of that?"

He chews on his bottom lip, "Whoever you got to do that wiring on short notice, he did a shit job."

'What does that mean?"

"It means you got a faulty kitchen. You flip the switch for the light and the breaker blows, turn on the disposal and the breaker blows, plug the fridge in--"

"The breaker blows." Steve finishes his sentence for him. "I get it, what can you do to fix that?"

"Redo it."

"So do that."

"It's gonna take at least a week."

"I don't have a week. I have two days." Steve panics, rubbing his palms together to calm the nerves. "What if I tripled your money?"

"Still can't be done in a week."

He begged, promised and bribed the contractor to find anyone who could do a good job in short notice but there wasn't anyone willing to take on the job who could guarantee the job would be done in a two days. He was screwed and the hours were closing in. Miss Addison "Trouble" Shaw was on her way and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. Not even if he tried.

"When is the last time you talked to Addison?" Steve asks just before they go to bed.

"I don't know... probably the wedding." She looks over and notices her husband is laying down wide eyed. "Baby, it's going to be fine."

"How can you say that? With the shit that happened at the wedding? She was invited there and screwed that up. What's to say we don't wake up one morning and find half of our stuff gone? Or worse some guys standing over the bed with guns at our heads?"

"Babe, she's not the mafia." The statement doesn't comfort him as much as it should, instead it only makes him feel worse. At least if she was the mafia, there was a chance he could bargain their way out of death. Launder money for them, sell illegal stuff, hide people, whatever it took he would do it. Addison wasn't as simple, she was a no good drug addict.

[koganelovesmcclain]

can’t fight this feeling anymore

Anon asked: Could you do #27 for the first prompt and #18 for the second prompt like Keith comes back and he and lance talk a bit? if you can’t that’s fine love your works anyways🖤

Title: can’t fight this feeling anymore Pairing: Keith/Lance Words: 3066 Chapters: 1/1 Summary:  When Keith left to join the Blade of Marmora, Lance’s feelings for the other boy came bubbling to the surface. He’s in love with him and he needs him around. The past two months have been some of the worst of his life. He worries himself sick wondering whether Keith is alright.

But today, the BOM is coming to the Castle to help plan another attack on Zarkon’s forces. And Lance is going to convince Keith to return to him, er, Team Voltron, even if he has to beg.

Excerpt: Lance wakes up from the dream he’d been having, something about home. He can still feel the sand under his feet and the breeze on his face. He lies there for a moment, relishing in it. But then he has to get up. He doesn’t like spending too much time alone in his room, it makes him even more homesick. And the fact that the Blade of Marmora are coming today to discuss their plans, that just makes him jittery.

He’d been anxious since yesterday evening, when Coran told them after training that the BOM would be arriving soon. His brain would only produce one thought: Keith will be with them.

Keith, the boy Lance had unwittingly fallen in love with. Who he hasn’t seen in over two months. Who he’s desperate to see again. Honestly, Lance doesn’t know when the feelings crept in on him. But, when Keith announced that he was leaving, to go do something ‘useful,’ Lance’s chest ached. He put on a happy face and wished him well, but it killed him to watch Keith leave. He couldn’t tell him right then and there, with the whole crew around. But, if he can catch Keith alone, he’s going to tell him.

Read it on ao3 or

That the BOM is bullshit. A reckless, stupid group of tall purple assholes who don’t care about him. Well, he won’t go that far. But, that he belongs in the castle with a warm bed. With the team. With Lance. And once again, he won’t go that far. He’s too afraid of rejection. He doesn’t need Keith to spontaneously fall in love with him, he just needs his company. That’s enough.

Lance is pulling on his armor, not that he needs it. Except maybe to protect his heart. But hell, it doesn’t work like that. And he’s practicing his little speech again. His reasons that Keith should return to the Castle of Lions for good. He gives himself a look over in the mirror. His eyes have faint circles under them and his hair looks a little too much like bedhead. He runs his fingers through it and decides he looks fine. Then he exits his room.

--

He’s the first one to the meeting room, surprisingly. He looks around before taking a seat, drumming his fingers on the table top. One by one, the other paladins trickle in, each one shocked that Lance beat them to the room. He ignores their jokes about how he usually sleeps late and misses half the meeting.

And then, the Blade members file in, Coran leading them. They all have their masks on still, but Lance can pick out the one he needs to talk to. The smallest Blade, standing near the back with his arms crossed. Then he realizes that they aren’t crossed. Keith has a sling around one arm and his free hand grips his shoulder. His panic alarm goes off and it takes everything in his being to stop himself from rushing to the other to check on him.

--

He survives the meeting. Switching between paying attention to Shiro and staring at Keith, who had let his mask down. Now everyone’s chatting over one another, just sort of catching up on past missions. Now’s his chance.

Lance stands from his chair and crosses the floor towards Keith, who has a pained expression. “Hey buddy,” Lance starts.

“Hey,” Keith smiles. It’s wobbly though.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, eyeing his arm. “What happened?”

Keith’s eyes flash to the other Blade members, across the room. “I think my shoulder got knocked out of place.” Lance’s eyes widen and he winces.

“Ouch.” he says, grimacing at the thought. It had happened to him once as a child. In a pool of all places. He’d cried for days. “How’d it happen?”

“I don’t know.” Keith sighs. “I wasn’t paying attention. And someone grabbed my arm and yanked me around. Then, they threw me at a wall.”

It’s because I didn’t have your back, Lance’s brain butts in. He shakes the thought away. “Why didn’t you jump in a pod and get all fixed up?”

“We don’t, uh, really have cryopods.” Keith admits.

“Oh… Well, we do! Come on, I’ll throw you in a pod for a little bit.” Lance offers.

Keith snorts, “yeah, you’d lock me in or something.”

“No. I promise.” Lance says. Keith doesn’t change his mind. “Please?” Lance pleads. Keith’s eyes soften and he nods.

“Okay.”

--

Lance leads him to the med bay, and they make small talk on the way. Talking about the food on the BOM ships, which sounds neither better nor worse than the food goo at the Castle. The weather on planet’s they’ve been to. Anything trivial, that doesn’t involve serious feelings and emotions. And once they reach the pods, Keith steps behind a curtain to strip from his BOM gear and change into a pod suit.

Then, he steps into the pod. He situates himself, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath in, then out. Lance smiles, at least Keith hasn’t forgotten how to get into a cryopod, and then he presses a couple buttons. The pod closes with a mechanical ‘fsshh,’ and Keith’s vitals flash on the screen. Lance can’t read Altean, but the red symbols seem to speak for themselves. Keith’s not in great shape.

Lance decides that when the pod opens, in approximately half an hour, he’ll still be there. And he’ll tell Keith then.

--

He had been calm and collected the entire time, watching the timer tick down and looking at Keith, who is probably getting more rest in thirty minutes than he has in the past couple months. That’s another reason he should come back. Lance runs over his argument again. He’d practiced it in his mirror dozens of times. Lance sighs and starts drumming his fingers against the armor on his forearm.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap.

Lance is snapped back to reality when pod hisses open and Keith starts to fall out. Lance rushes to him and catches him.

“Oh, crap.” Keith groans. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You got it?” Lance asks, holding the other up.

“Yep,” Keith says. Lance releases him.

“How’s the arm?”

“A thousand times better.” Keith says, rolling his shoulder.

“I’m glad.” Lance replies.

“Thank you. Uh, Lance?” Keith asks. His breath catches in his throat, he savors the sound of his name.

“Yeah?”

“Can you sit with me for a minute?” Keith asks. His voice is soft and unsure.

“Yeah,” Lance answers. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting and Keith joins him on his right side. Keith leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes.

“Going to sleep?” Lance asks with a smile.

“I wish.” Keith sighs. “How’ve you all been? Is anything new?” He looks at Lance expectantly.

“I, we’re all good I guess.” Lance says.

“Been on any good missions lately?” Keith asks with a small smile. No mission is a good mission, Keith knows that.

But regardless, Lance tells him about his last assignment. A reconnaissance mission on Planet Frehal, where everything was far too dark. Neither of the planet’s two suns were out and the only light sources was the orange glowing of streetlamps. Even the people seemed to be gloomy. Lance had spent almost two days there, finding out what he could about the positions of galra squadrons.

He’d been so thankful to return to the castle ship. Sleeping in a lion’s head on a strange planet alone… well it didn’t sit well with him. Especially with how Shiro’s been acting recently. Like a galra general or something. Snapping and constantly putting the team down. Lance misses when Keith was their leader, he took a while to figure it out, but at least he wasn’t a jerk.

So, tell him that, Lance thinks to himself, watching Keith stretch his arms over his head.

“Sounds like a rough time,” Keith says.

“Not as rough as you’re having,” Lance slips.

“What do you mean?” Keith asks defensively. Lance shakes his head.

“Nothing.” Lance says, shaking his head. He’s not ready for this.

“Well, I guess I’d better get changed.” Keith says, rising to his feet. He extends a hand to Lance and pulls him up. Then he disappears behind the screen. It’s now or never. Plus, it’s not as scary since he can’t see Keith’s face.

“Hey, Keith.” Lance starts, twiddling his thumbs to try and calm his nerves. “Maybe you shouldn’t go.”

“I’ve got to,” Keith says, tossing the pod suit over the room divider. “I don’t know how long Kolivan’s planning to stay. I don’t want to get left behind.”

“That’s what I’m saying. You don’t have to go back with the Blade. You could stay here.” Lance says softly. Behind the screen falls silence. No rustling of clothing or anything, just breathing.

“What do mean I should stay here?” Keith finally asks.

“Well, I mean, we all miss you. And your bedroom’s still empty.” Lance offers with a laugh.

“Don’t you remember the reason I left? I’m doing anything here. I’m just an extra person on the ship. And I can’t do anything without Red! The Blade needs me! I actually matter over there. We go on missions and I’m part of a team! If I came back here, I’d be useless!” Keith says, voice rising from its normal volume to full on shouting.

“I’d rather you feel useless than be dead, Keith!” Lance shouts back. Keith’s eyes widen and Lance continues.

“They don’t care about you. You’re barely a part of their team. If you end up dead, that’s just part of the motto! And I know you think you have to somehow make up for being half-galra by letting the BOM treat you like crap, but it’s bullshit! You deserve to be worried about, Keith. And we actually care whether or not you wake up tomorrow. We love you.” Lance is visibly shaking with nerves by the time he rests his case.

He’d forgotten most of his prepared argument, but it leaves Keith speechless. He opens his mouth a couple times, but nothing comes out. Then about the time Lance thinks he’s come up with something to say, he pushes past Lance and hurriedly exits the room, leaving him in the med bay alone.

--

The Blade of Marmora is set to leave any minute. The rest of the team is probably saying their goodbyes right now. But Lance isn’t among them.

Instead, he’s holed up in his room, imagining a different endings to his conversation with Keith. One where he confesses. One where Keith stays. One where he at least says goodbye. But the other had stormed off and now all of those possibilities are gone.

Lance doesn’t want their last exchange to have been a fight. But he doesn’t know what else to do. He’d tried. And failed. He tried to give Keith a reason to stay and ended up making an ass of himself.

He sighs and rolls over onto his side. He’ll just have to get over it.

But over Keith? God, that’s a different story. He’s been trying since the feeling appeared. And knowing that Keith is leaving again. And that this time, he’s angry with Lance, hurts all the worse. He’s on the verge on tears, but they won’t fall. Maybe later on, when it hits him that Keith is gone.

--

He ends up falling asleep and only wakes when there’s a knock at the door. He blinks and realizes where he is, then checks the time on the clocking setting on his nightstand. It’s time for dinner. Hunk must’ve come to wake up so he can eat.

“Hey, Hunk. Thanks man, but I’m not really hungry,” he lies, before rolling over onto his back.

“Uh, Lance, it’s me,” Keith’s voice replies from behind the door. Lance’s eyes widen. “Can I come in?” Holy shit. He dives off the bed and hurriedly tidies up the room before he presses the door panel. The door slides open and Keith is there, holding a tray with two plates.

“I brought you some supper,” he says. Lance steps out of the way and Keith sets it on the desk.

“I… Why are you? I thought you left?” Lance stumbles over his words, but finally manages to string together a sentence. Keith sighs.

“I did,” he says.

“So, why did you—”

“Because of what you said,” Keith answers. “You were right.”

“Heh, you’ve never said that before,” Lance says with an awkward laugh. Keith laughs dryly and looks into Lance’s eyes.

“They, the Blade, doesn’t care about me. But you do.” Keith pauses, smiling softly. Then his eyes widen and he backpedals. “I, I mean, the team does, right?” Keith asks. Lance swallows. If Keith only knew. Hell, maybe he’s about to.

“Yeah, I do,” Lance answers, “we’re friends remember?”

“Yeah,” Keith starts, clicking his tongue. “I decided to come back. For good.”

“You have?” Lance smiles. “That’s great. I’m glad.”

“I kinda wanna say something though, if you don’t mind,” Keith says, waiting for Lance’s approval.

“What is it?” Lance asks. He watches Keith wrestle with something in his head and finally the other boy opens his mouth.

“I like you,” he declares. Keith’s face starts to turn red and Lance’s heart stops momentarily, and sputters back to life. And when it does, he doesn’t know what to say.

“You. You what? You like— you like me?” Lance asks. Keith nods.

“Yeah! I do. And I’ve liked you for… a long time and I thought maybe you liked me back,” Keith says. Then he gives Lance a once over. He groans and puts his head in his hands. “Oh God. I’ve freaked you out. Holy shit,” Keith stands to move towards an exit, any exit. Lance stops him with a hand.

“No, no, no. I, oh. Yeah. Jesus. Wow. I, I need to sit down.” Lance says, dropping to sit on the edge of his bed. His brain is literally gone. It must’ve joined his heart somewhere warm and fluffy. He can’t believe this. He was supposed to be the one confessing. He’s never been confessed to and it’s taking a toll on his nerves.

“I guess I’ll catch the first shuttle back to the BOM headquarters.” Keith says, nervous laughter taking him over. Lance can’t think of a single thing to say. He’s absolutely speechless. Unable to find words. Fuck, he can’t even think of a dumb joke to break the tension. He pats the bed and Keith cautiously moves to sit down, facing him. They stay that way for a moment.

“How long?” Lance finally manages.

“What? How long have I liked you?” Keith asks. Lance nods, shifting his gaze to the other. Keith thinks for a few seconds and comes up with the answer. “Since… the day that Sendak and his crew got into the Castle and you got hurt.”

“Since the bonding moment?!” Lance exclaims, reflexively doing air quotes around the phrase.

“Don’t do the air quoting! It happened!” Keith says defensively.

“I know it did.” Lance admits with a sigh. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Lance asks, in a much calmer tone.

“I thought you were straight. And then, I left to join the Blade and you came out. And I realized I might have a chance with you, but I didn’t want to… I don’t know why.” Keith answers.

“I do, like you too.” Lance says. Keith’s face brightens.

“You do?” he asks, looking into his eyes for confirmation.

“Yeah. That’s what I was trying to get to earlier in the med bay. But then, you flipped out and left. So…” Lance says.

“You were gonna tell me?” Keith asks.

“Yeah,” Lance says. Keith laughs.

“God, I’m so stupid. I was alone and miserable for months all because I was too stubborn to admit that I liked you.”

“Better late than never?” Lance suggests.

“Definitely.” Keith nods, smiling.

“So, you’re really back?” Lance asks.

“I promise. But I don’t want to be a loner anymore,” Keith says, trailing off.

“You won’t be. I promise I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore.” Lance says, leaning forward to pull Keith in for a hug. The other boy gasps and freezes, before wrapping his arms around Lance.

“Does this mean we’re boyfriends now? Or… I don’t know how this works.” Keith says, muffled against Lance’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Lance laughs. “I think that’s how this goes.”

--

They spend the rest of the evening in Lance’s room. After they eat their long-cold dinners, they start to get to know each other. They end up laying on their stomachs across the bed, talking about Lance’s family. Keith eats it up.

Lance tells the story about his sister falling off a pier when they were kids. And about his mother’s cooking. Keith talks about his year in the desert, which sounds ridiculously unbearable.

“How did you survive? Like it didn’t seem like you even had any food there,” Lance asks. Keith laughs.

“Well, uh, half the time, I’d sort of take food from the Garrison. And the other half, I’d go to like, McDonald’s. God, I miss fast food.” Keith admits with a sigh. Lance laughs.

“Same.” he says, thinking about greasy cheeseburgers and warm salty fries. Both of them seem to clam up thinking of all the things they miss from Earth. Then, they fall into a comfortable silence. Until Keith clears his throat.

“So,” Keith starts, “you remembered the bonding moment.”

“Oh, God.” Lance laughs. “Yeah. I did.”

“So you were just fucking with me?” Keith asks.

“A little. And I kind of figured that it meant more to me than it should’ve.” Lance says, remembering the way Keith held his hand. The totally romantic ‘we are a good team’ line. Keith scoffs.

“I held you in my arms. Then I carried you to the pods and sat there all night.” Keith says.

“You did?” Lance asks.

Keith nods, “yep. I mean, after Coran said it’d take like twelve hours to fix you up, everyone else kind of went to do their thing. And I just… felt like someone should be there.”

“You’re so precious.” Lance laughs, pressing a soft kiss on Keith’s cheek. Keith stiffens for a few seconds, then returns the chaste kiss. Lance could get used to this.

And he really, really wants to.

[buttercream-me-up]

Rumors // Jack Maynard

Word Count- 1338

Summary- You go to a gleam party, and meet your ‘Youtube crush’.

Warnings; N/A

A/n; This one took forever because I wrote it all out then realized the anon included the “Youtube party” part and had to rewrite it, sorry it took so long. (I’m not mad about rewriting by the way, it was my fault so don’t feel bad x )

Requested; Yes. This is a hell of a long request, but enjoy!

request;  Sooo I tottaly love your works! Could I get one with Jack Maynard with 2, 15, 80, 81, 91, 132, 134 (and you can add 48, 106 only if u want) and I knowwww its a lot, but I was thinkingabout something like Jack is known as a player, buthe starts to feel something to the reader who can be girl who he met like at some youtube event/party but she is scared that he would break her etc? If u read the prompts it makes sense I think😏 I am sorry its so long and I will be grateful if u write this,thanks❤️

2. Can you shut up for five minutes, please??? | 15. You’re breaking my heart, babe. | 48. I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing. | 80. Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise. | 81. Excuse me for falling in love with you. | 91. Sorry I’m protective over the things I love. | 106. I try my best. | 132. I have reasons. You wouldn’t get it. | 134. You don’t mean that.

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“Hello everyone!” You said, smiling towards the camera. “Today we’re going to the gleam party, and I really don’t know what to expect, honestly! It’s my first time, and you guys get to come with me on this adventure! Obviously, I won’t be able to vlog everything, but I’ll try my best and film as much as I can!” You turned it off, smiling to yourself as you left the hotel.

As you arrived at the party, a wave of nerves washed over you. You knew a few people, but not many. You saw your cousins, Joe and Zoe Sugg, and greeted them with hugs. “It’s so good to see you again.” You said to them, smiling brightly. The three of you caught up for a bit, when Zoe excused herself to go with Alfie, Poppy and Sean. Joe had an excited look on his face. “What now, Joseph?” You asked, knowing something not-so-good was about to happen. “Come meet my mates!” He said, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the crowd to a group of boys.

You recognized them all from their YouTube channels, and it seems they recognized you from videos with Joe, or your own channel. Caspar Lee, who you’ve met before, (from visiting Joe when they lived together), Josh Pieters, and Jack Maynard. Jack Maynard. He’d always been your ‘YouTube crush’, but you were always told how bad he was. You knew his reputation, and you weren’t someone really to judge before knowing for yourself. Jack, however, you’d heard so much about him, you were quite scared to even consider him as something as other than a player, so you ignored your little crush. It would pass, anyways.

You let Joe introduce you to his friends, and Josh, Caspar and Joe all went to get drinks for the 5 of you; luckily for you, Jack insisted on staying to keep you company. “So Y/N, having a good time?” Jack asked, a bit awkwardly. You were surprised, Jack always seemed so confident and outgoing in his videos and he seemed to be holding himself back. “Yes, actually. It’s quite nice just catching up and meeting some new people who share experiences with you.” You said, smiling to try and ease his discomfort. He smiled back.

“It really is.” Jack said, seemingly scanning your face. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, cheeks burning slightly. You didn’t like the way he was looking at you, but you didn’t dislike it either. It was like you wanted to dislike it, but you didn’t. “Just taking your beauty in. You look even better in person, for the record.” He said, smoothly. “Flirting already, Maynard? Your reputation precedes you.” “I try my best.” He said, proudly. “I never said it was a good thing.” You said, smirking.

He mock gasped. “You don’t mean that.” He said, pretending to be offended. Though, unbeknownst to you, he was. “Yeah, I do.” You said, unamused. “Then why? Rumors?” He persisted, curious. “I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. Has it occurred to you I’m maybe not interested?” You said, teasingly, and shrugging. He gasped once again, placing a hand over his heart over-dramatically as if he’d been shot. You chuckled at his terrible acting. “Another thing that needs work; your acting.”

“You’re breaking my heart, babe.” He pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. You shrugged. “I do watch your videos, though.” His face lit up. “You do?” He asked, unbelieving. “Yeah, and judging by your videos, I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.” You challenged, he gave you a look of disbelief. “Of all my videos, that's what you got of my personality?” He asked, chuckling and shaking his head. You nodded. “That, among other things.” You said, cheekily. You reminded yourself mentally you couldn’t get involved with him.

Just then, Joe, Josh and Caspar returned with drinks, and the 5 of you chatted for a bit. You couldn’t help but notice Jack constantly watching you. Joe, Josh and Caspar were deep into a conversation about football, and you were bored. You walked away, finding Sean, (who you knew from Poppy and Alfie), who was like a brother to you, and danced with him. Some would think it was a relationship type dance, but everyone who knew the two of you knew you may as well have been siblings. Poppy especially knew, and she was smiling watching you and her boyfriend dance.

Jack, however, was not as happy with it. He knew Sean had a girlfriend, why the hell was he dancing with you? He stormed over to you, grabbed your arm and (rather aggressively, yet not enough to hurt), tugged you away from Sean. You frowned, turning around rather angrily and looking at whoever stole you from Sean. “What do you think you’re doing, Jack?” “He has a girlfriend.” He said, simply. You looked appalled. “Excuse me? I was having time with one of my best friends. What on earth gave you a right to interrupt that?” You spat, emphasizing the ‘best friends’. “Sorry I’m protective over the things I love.” Jack said, simply.

You scoffed. “That’s rich. Since when was I a ‘thing’, or something you love? This is ridiculous. I’ve met you today. Seriously, Can you shut up for five minutes, please??? I’m sick of your flirting, leave me alone and let me enjoy my day!” You yelled, tugging your arm out of his grip. “Excuse me for falling in love with you. Why are you so unbelieving that I care about you?” Jack said, following you. “You met me today!” You said, turning around and throwing your hands up to exaggerate the point.

“So? I’ve told you I’ve been watching your videos for a long time; and that you’re my YouTube crush. That’s not it. There’s a reason you’re not letting me in; I can see you were having fun with our banter. Please, at least tell me why you aren’t giving me a chance. I’ll leave you alone.” He said, looking at you with pleading eyes. You’d never thought Jack could act like this; he looked vulnerable. That’s something you’d never thought possible. “I have reasons. You wouldn’t get it.” You said, sighing, and shrugging. “Again, is it because ‘I’m a player’? Just be honest.” You stayed quiet, and he knew he was right.

“Y/N, please. I know I’m not a perfect guy, and I know this is probably weird since we only met today, but..” He took a deep breath, and you nodded for him to continue. “I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you in Joe’s videos. I’ve always wanted to contact you for a collab, but Joe said to stay away, and him being one of my best mates; I listened. Though, when I saw you today, you took my breath away. I’ve genuinely never felt my heart race faster than it did when I saw you. Please, give me a chance.” He said, looking into your eyes, and grabbing one of your hands. “Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise. I’ll never hurt you. I’d hate myself if I did.”

You were almost in tears, the heartfelt speech; you knew he meant it. No player would go to that much trouble for a girl. You looked around, noticing a crowd had gathered during Jack’s speech. “Y/N, I’m coming after you if you say no!” You heard Zoe yell, and laughter erupted through the crowd. “Thanks for the pressure, Zo!” You called back. “Besides, I wasn’t planning on saying no.” You added, earning a cheer from everyone and a bright smile from Jack.

“Now that the sappy part of this party is over.. Let’s dance!” You called, and everyone laughed and moved to the dance floor. You completely forgot about your vlog, but you’d worry about it tomorrow. Right now, you were going to dance and party like your life depended on it, with your new boyfriend, the supposed player, Jack Maynard.