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supernaturalscribe67 · 5 months

Text

T-Shot

Words: 8,204

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Castiel x Trans!FTM!Reader

Warning(s): Language, Needles, Description of testosterone injection, slight angst if you squint, hurt/comfort, description of afab anatomy (use of the word 'clit' once), fluff, Castiel not understanding social cues

Summary: The reader has started his journey with testosterone, and his boyfriend, Castiel, promises to be with him every step of the way. What Castiel didn't realize was that the testosterone would change (Y/N) more than he realized.

Request:

Hi I was just wondering if you could do a Sam or even Cas fic (romantic) where reader is trans FTM and also asexual. Where the reader starts testosterone and sam or cas helps them with the new changes. You can just have fun with it. Make it a sad a bit too but end with a happy note :)

Anonymous

A/N: Someone please come and take this pen away from me. This fic was only supposed to be, about, 3k words, I don't know how it turned into my longest fic. I hope you guys enjoy! Feedback is much appreciated!

~Much Love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

As he descended the bunker steps, the paper bag crinkled in (Y/N)’s hands. It was the best sound he had ever heard in his entire life. For, in that very bag, was the key to achieving everything he had dreamed of and more, allowing him to get one step closer to the person he was destined to be. And it all came in a little glass vial.

(Y/N) looked in the library but found it empty, so he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. His steps were rapid, anxious, yet excited. When he entered, he saw Castiel on his bed, who sat up. The movement of the door startled him, but he was quick to recover. (Y/N) flashed a small smirk his way.

“Hey,” he greeted and closed the door behind him.

“You’re back,” Castiel stated and stood from his spot on the bed. He took a couple of steps closer to him. “How did it go?”

(Y/N) held up the bag. “I got it.” His smile widened.

Castiel matched his grin as he stepped even closer. He reached a hand up to cup (Y/N)’s cheek and gave him a soft peck on the lips. “I’m glad to hear that it went well. When are you scheduled to take your first dose?”

“Well, the doc said I can take it anytime I want to start. I just have to make sure to keep it spread out to a dosage every week. So, today’s, what? Wednesday? I’ll be taking them every Wednesday from now on. Preferably at night. Easier for me to keep track that way.”

Castiel nodded as he listened intently to everything (Y/N) told him. “I see. When will you plan on taking it tonight?” He tilted his head to the side.

“I was going to wait until after supper, but I’m too excited to wait.”

“May I watch you?”

“Of course, babe,” he said before he walked past Castiel and over to his bed.

(Y/N) sat the bag down before he took his shoes off, kicking them to the side. He then unbuckled his belt and let his jeans fall to the floor with a light clink. He stood in nothing but his boxers and t-shirt. He would have taken his binder off to make himself even more comfortable, but he was so focused on getting the medicine in his body that he didn’t even consider it an inconvenience. As (Y/N) sat on the bed, he beckoned Castiel over and patted the spot next to him. Castiel followed his instructions and sat down, his hands folded between his knees. He watched with great concentration as (Y/N) grabbed the paper bag and ripped it open. Inside the bag was a long, rectangular box, two different sets of needles, four syringes, alcohol wipes, and band-aids. Castiel studied the supplies curiously.

“This is everything I’ll need for the month. I have my testosterone, the bigger needles to extract it, the 23-gauge needles to inject it, syringes, alcohol wipes for sterilizing my skin and the surface of the vial, and cute little cat band-aids for when I’m done.” (Y/N) explained, showing Castiel all of the supplies as he talked.

Castiel paid close attention. He examined everything presented to him, taking in as many details as he could. He picked up the small box and opened it. The vial dropped into his hand when he tilted it to the side. His eyes narrowed as he examined the clear content. As he moved his hand back and forth, he watched the solution swish around inside.

“This is what you put into your body to change yourself?” He asked.

“Yep. It may not seem like much, but once it kicks in, you’ll start to see the differences.”

(Y/N) grabbed the box of alcohol wipes and opened them up. He grabbed two from the pack; one for the injection location and the other for the vial. He set the unopened packs beside him and did the same with one of the band-aids. The needles soon followed, one of each being placed beside him, each of their packages opened to allow easy access when he went to switch them out. Next, was the syringe. It, too, stayed in the sterile plastic, but was opened for easy access. He then turned to Castiel and held out his hand. Castiel carefully placed the vial in his hand, and the process began.

(Y/N) grabbed the syringe and connected the larger needle to the end of it. He set that to the side and grabbed one of the alcohol wipes, ripping the corner of the packet with his teeth. Using the wipe, he cleaned off the top of the vial. He disposed of the wipe and grabbed the needles and syringe. The needle was uncapped, and he could feel the nerves bubble inside of him. He pulled the plunger of the syringe, allowing air to collect inside. The doctor said it would make for a more accurate extraction. With caution and precision, he injected the needle into the cap, tilted the vial upwards, and took out the dosage prescribed. The mere sight of the testosterone dripping into the syringe sent euphoria coursing through his body.

With the extraction completed, he replaced the needle with the 23-gauge. He took a deep breath to steady himself, took out the other alcohol wipe, and disinfected the area on the top of his thigh.

“Alright, the moment of truth,” he mumbled.

Using one hand to grasp the flesh of his upper thigh, (Y/N) gently guided the needle to his skin. The initial prick shocked his muscles a bit, as he wasn’t aware of how tense he had been. They were tight, and he knew he had to focus on relaxing them, otherwise it would hurt worse than it was supposed to. He didn’t stop pushing it in until the needle was fully in his thigh, the base of the needle almost flush against his skin. Once it was sheathed inside of him, his thumb shifted to the plunger and he began the injection. It wasn’t much - the doctor explained that the first couple of dosages would be smaller until they got a good sense of how his body was reacting to the medication - but it felt as if it took an eternity before the syringe was empty. When he was done, he, carefully, pulled out the needle. A small dot of blood mixed with testosterone appeared on top of his leg. He capped the needle and set it off to the side before he grabbed the bandage and placed it over the blood.

He stared at the band-aid for a moment - it came in a cheap pack of twelve and had a blurred image of two kittens cuddling on it - before he looked up at Castiel.

“I did it,” he smiled brightly. “I just got my first t-shot.”

Castiel’s eyes shifted to (Y/N)’s and he mirrored his smile. He took a second to look over his features. Slowly, his expression shifted from joy to slight confusion. “You don’t look different.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “It takes some people a couple of months to notice any physical changes. It’s not magic. Wish it was,” he mumbled. “That’s why I need to do it every week, so it stays in my system and makes the changes.”

“Ah,” Castiel nodded. “Well, I’m proud of you, (Y/N),” he took his hand in his.

(Y/N) furrowed his brows. “For poking myself with a needle?”

Castiel shook his head. “You told me that getting your testosterone was going to be your biggest step in your journey of self-discovery so far. I’m proud that you were brave enough to take this step to become the person you’ve been destined to become.” Castiel reached up and gently cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks.

As cliche as it was, (Y/N) could feel his heart skip a beat. Ever since he told Castiel about wanting to start testosterone, he had been nothing but supportive. He always expressed that he wanted (Y/N) to live the life he wanted to live and that he would be by his side for the best and the worst of it. (Y/N) got lucky enough to have a partner like Castiel. It was as if he came right out of a dream. For that, he would always be grateful.

(Y/N) reached up and brushed his fingers against Castiel’s knuckles. “I love you, forever and always.”

“I love you, too. Forever and always.” Castiel replied, leaned in, and kissed him softly.

*~*

“Holy shit, this pizza is so good,” (Y/N) mumbled as he shoved the rest of the crust into his mouth, stuffing his cheeks full.

Sam and Dean gave him a questioning stare as he ate, their bites slow and methodical compared to his. Castiel, on the other hand, stared at him with an intense look of concern. It had been a little over a month since (Y/N) started testosterone and, while there hadn’t been many noticeable physical changes, there was one thing that everyone took notice of almost immediately; his intense change of appetite.

Man, could that boy eat.

It wasn’t the fact that he served himself more during meals, either. If he wasn’t eating a meal, he was snacking. He snacked on chips, candy, fruits, vegetables, sandwiches, you name it. Anything that could be placed in a pantry or fridge had been eaten by (Y/N). Dean couldn’t even count on one hand the amount of times he had gotten on him for eating in the car, only to get a stern glare from both him and his boyfriend. Castiel hadn’t been too sure why (Y/N) began to eat as much as he had been. When he asked about it, (Y/N) simply told him that it was because of the testosterone, but didn’t give many details other than that. It left Castiel with a lot of questions that sat in the back of his mind, curious about the other aspects of testosterone that caused non-physical changes to occur.

(Y/N) reached for another slice, hesitated, and then grabbed the last two slices.

“Hungry?” Dean asked with a quirked brow.

“Starving,” (Y/N) mumbled, his mouth still recovering from his last bite.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “That’s, at least, your fifth and sixth slices.”

“Sam’s right, (Y/N). You’ve been eating a lot recently. Are you sure you’re alright?” Castiel asked warily, placing a hand on (Y/N)’s knee, rubbing it comfortingly.

(Y/N) chuckled. “I’m fine, babe,” he said, cheekful of food. “It’s just the testosterone. It makes me really, really hungry.”

Castiel flashed him another concerned look, despite the nod and small smile he gave. (Y/N) noticed his hesitancy and he flashed him a closed mouth smile. He placed his hand on top of his, swallowed his food, leaned over, and placed a small peck on the corner of Castiel’s lips.

“I’m fine, babe, I promise.” He said as he looked into his eyes.

Castiel studied his expression for a moment before he smiled again, one that was more genuine. “Alright.”

(Y/N) nodded briefly. “Okay, I’m going to the bathroom,” he said before he pointed at Sam and Dean. “Don’t touch my pizza.” The threat dripped from his lips.

Sam and Dean raised their brows and watched as (Y/N) stood from the table, his eyes still piercing their souls as he left the room. Dean shook his head and took another bite of his food. Castiel glanced over at (Y/N)’s plate, then cast his gaze down to the table. His hands were on his knees, and he rubbed them tightly. Sam, noticing the distraught on his face, cocked his head in curiosity.

“What’s up, Cas?” he asked, placing his food back onto his plate. He folded his arms on the table.

Castiel gazed up at him for a moment before he shook his head. “I’m just worried about (Y/N). He doesn’t normally act like this.”

Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s a pretty big change, the testosterone. It’s as if he’s going through puberty all over again.”

“Sam’s right,” Dean chimed in, some pizza sauce and spittle peaking out of the corner of his full mouth. “Sammy ate like a pig when he hit puberty.”

“Not helping,” Sam deadpanned. “It’s just a side effect of the drug. It won’t last forever.”

“That’s what he told me, but I didn’t think it would change him like that.”

Sam chuckled. “Trust me, you’ve just scratched the surface of the side effects. It’ll be an interesting journey, to say the least.”

That comment didn’t seem to ease Castiel’s worry, which Sam took notice of. He sighed.

“Tell you what,” he dug into his pocket and took out his phone. “I have a couple of articles regarding the side effects of testosterone. Keep in mind, not everyone goes through the same experience, though, and not in the same order as others, either, but I can send them to you so you can at least have an idea of what (Y/N) could go through.”

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Sam. That would put my mind at ease.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Dean shrugged as he chewed the last bite of his pizza. He brushed the crumbs off of his hands. “So the kid has a bottomless stomach, who cares? The only bad thing about it is that he steals all the damn food! I didn’t even get a chance to have more,” he gestured to the empty, grease-filled pizza box in the center of the table.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’ll live,” he mumbled.

Dean looked over at (Y/N)’s plate, eying the single intact slice. It was obvious that the gears in his head were turning.

“Dean,” Castiel said in a deep tone of warning.

“What!?” He held out his hands dramatically. “I’m hungry.” Dean paused, eyes still glued on the food. Casually, he reached over and grabbed the uneaten slice. He brought it to his face and was about to take a bite when a loud, booming voice echoed throughout the kitchen.

“Drop it!” (Y/N) shouted.

Dean visibly jumped, eyes wide as he turned to see (Y/N) in the doorway, eyes laced with red fury. He quickly put the pizza back onto (Y/N)’s plate, got up from the table, plate in hand, and walked swiftly over to the sink. Sam snorted and took a bite of his food as (Y/N) stalked over to the table. He glared daggers into the back of Dean’s head. If looks could kill, Dean would have been dead…again. (Y/N) sat back down.

“Asshole,” (Y/N) grumbled under his breath, picked up one of the slices, and took another bite.

*~*

Every fiber of his being was sore. Grave digging was not for the weak, and that was exactly how (Y/N) felt after the salt and burn. The three of them came out of the hunt with some minor scrapes and bruises that were certain to go away on their own over time. Injury-wise, he was fine, but his muscles screamed in pain and agony as he moved from the Impala to the motel room door. They begged for relief in the arms of a hot shower, but he knew his blessings were limited. The pain, however, wasn’t the only thing he noticed during the aftermath of the hunt. Once the adrenaline wore off and his senses finally came back to him, there was one crucial detail he had failed to take notice of before then.

(Y/N) smelled horrible.

It wasn’t as if he had gotten blood or guts on himself during the hunt. All he did was sweat. He knew there would be some changes in the way his body odor smelled, but, in no way would he have assumed it would be as pungent and foul as it was. He even made sure to layer on the deodorant during his pre-hunt preparation as an extra precaution, but it was all to no avail.

“I call first shower,” (Y/N) said as Dean took the room key out and unlocked the door. “Have I always smelled this bad?”

Dean scoffed. “I was going to offer you the first shower, anyway. You smell awful. I was going to say something earlier, but I figured Sammy would yell at me or something.”

The three of them entered the room, welcomed to the sight of Castiel laid back on his and (Y/N)’s shared bed. He sat up, eyes immediately scanning over their bodies, taking in all of their details for any sign of injury. Sam shook his head and walked over to his duffel bag that lay on the floor next to the opposite bed.

“Yeah, ‘cause you would have probably been a dick about it,” he retorted.

“I would not!” Dean exclaimed as he strode to his bag.

“No, please, be a dick about it. I wanna know for the next time.” (Y/N) shook his head and retrieved some night clothes from his duffel.

“What would Dean have been a dick about?” Castiel asked, head tilted slightly to the side.

“About telling me if I smell.” (Y/N) answered.

Castiel furrowed his brows. “I thought it was considered rude to tell people they smell bad.”

“Yeah, random people. Dean’s my friend, though, and friends help each other like that. They tell you if you smell or look bad to save you from embarrassment in public.”

“Does that apply to myself as well?”

(Y/N) smirked. “Yes, Cas, it does.”

“So, should I inform you of the red and white spots that you have on your face?”

(Y/N)’s smirk vanished and was replaced by a deep frown. Wordlessly, he walked past Castiel and to the bathroom. The dim light illuminated the poorly decorated room, the vent whirring to life. He stood in front of the basin and studied himself in the mirror. Upon closer inspection, (Y/N) gaped. Accompanying the blotches of dirt scattered around his face were red, angry zits. There were some across his cheeks, some on his forehead, and a giant, ready-to-pop whitehead on his chin. Castiel made his way over and placed his hand on the doorframe.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?” Castiel asked cautiously.

“No! Everything’s not okay!” (Y/N) whined and squeezed past his boyfriend so he could point an accusatory finger at Sam and Dean. “Some fucking friends you are! First, you don’t tell me that I smell bad, and now I find you didn’t tell me that my face looks like it lost a fight with a pizza!?”

“(Y/N), plenty of adults have acne. I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Sam defended himself.

Dean pursed his lips. “I thought Sam would yell at me.” He shrugged.

Sam shot Dean a glare and (Y/N) sighed.

“I went out as an agent like this.” He complained.

“You look fine,” Sam said.

“Fine? I look like I got out of a five-hour Leave of Legends session and drank Mountain Dew nonstop! That mixed with my voice sounding like I’m going to beg my mom for the new Fortnite Battlepass doesn’t necessarily scream agent.”

Sam and Dean both held in their laughter as they looked away. (Y/N) shook his head.

“I’m so glad you two find this funny,” he grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.

Castiel came over and placed a hand gently on his waist. “(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) turned his gaze to Castiel, absentmindedly leaning against him. “Yeah?”

“Despite the marks on your face, I still think you are the most handsome man I have laid eyes on.” He offered a soft, sweet smile.

(Y/N) stared at him and took a deep breath, lips pursed. Slowly, a smile crept onto the corner of his lips.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better.” He said, leaned up, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

“Ew!” Dean exclaimed as he picked up one of his pillows and chucked it at the couple. “Get a room!”

*~*

Another day but, fortunately, not another hunt. It had been a month since the group had been able to rest from the copious amount of cases available, and they were taking advantage of it. They deserved a small vacation. (Y/N) and Castiel spent quality time together in the man cave, curled up on the couch with a blanket draped over their laps. A movie that (Y/N) had practically begged Castiel to watch played on the television. Castiel was laid back against the arm of the couch, his arm draped around (Y/N)’s middle so he could hold him close. A bowl of popcorn, coated deliciously in butter, sat between them.

“I don’t understand the conflict that the two storm-chasing teams have with one another. What happened to cause the rift in their relationship?” Castiel asked, eyes glued to the screen.

(Y/N) shrugged. “Honestly, they don’t go into detail about why they’re against one another. I wish they did,”

Castiel hummed and went back to watching the film. A couple of minutes went by before the sound of footsteps came closer to the room. Dean poked his head into the door. He looked at the TV and then down at the couple.

“Hey,” he said.

(Y/N) glanced at him, grabbed the remote, and paused the movie. “Yeah?”

“I’m heading out on a supply run. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks,”

“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit,” Dean moved away from the door and began to make his way down the hall.

(Y/N) watched the doorway intently as he listened to the footsteps disappear into the distance. “Can you do me a favor, babe?”

“Of course,” Castiel said, his attention fully on (Y/N). “What is it?”

“When Dean comes back, can you distract him?”

Castiel furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“I might, and I’m saying might, have played a prank on Dean that he’s not going to be too happy about.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, you know how, recently, I’ve stopped having my period?”

“Yes?”

“I had a lot of tampons and pads left over, and I didn’t necessarily want them to go to waste. So, I figured, what better way to get rid of them than to prank Dean with them.”

“How would you prank Dean with menstrual cycle products?”

(Y/N) bit his lip, anticipation filling his chest. He practically counted down the seconds, awaiting Dean’s imminent return. His muscles were tense, and the urge to run began to rise inside of him.

“Let’s just say Baby has some new decorations.”

“(Y/N)!” Dean’s voice echoed throughout the bunker.

Castiel’s head whipped toward the door, then immediately returned to (Y/N). “I’ll distract him.”

“God, I love you,” (Y/N) planted a kiss on Castiel’s cheek. “Bye!”

Without a second to lose, he threw the blanket off of him and dashed out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow.

*~*

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped in a massive yawn. The mere sight of his bed made him want to collapse, but he knew he would hate himself in the morning if he didn’t change into something more comfortable beforehand. Castiel was sat at the end of the bed, loving gaze attached to (Y/N) as he went over to the dresser to get dressed. He was practically on autopilot as he moved, grabbed an oversized t-shirt and a pair of night pants, and proceeded to undress. However, something stopped him in his tracks as he took his binder off. His head was cast down, studying his chest intently.

Castiel had witnessed that many times before; a dysphoric episode. There had been times when (Y/N) would sit and question himself about his appearance, whether out loud or mentally. Castiel would always take the time to remind him of how handsome he thought he was. How perfect he was. The progress he had made with testosterone. How in love with him he was. That moment, though, seemed different. Castiel stood from the bed and walked over to him.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” He asked softly.

(Y/N) glanced up at him before his attention shifted to the full-body mirror that rested beside the dresser. He tilted his body so the light from his bedside table illuminated his naked torso. In the warm light, he was able to get a better look at his chest. He smiled.

“Cas! Look,” he gestured to the mirror.

Castiel stepped closer to him, gaze locked on the mirror. He paid close attention to his chest to see what had caused the sudden happiness in his partner. The presence of smaller hairs scattered precariously around his upper torso was evident in the light. When he glanced up at (Y/N), he noticed that the smile that had been on his face had somehow widened.

“My chest hairs finally came in! I thought it was gonna take, at least, a couple more months.”

Castiel grinned. “That’s wonderful, (Y/N).” He studied the hairs more closely. “Will they continue to grow?”

“Probably. They should grow a lot thicker, and maybe a little bit longer.”

Castiel stared at him with adoration. Wordlessly, he reached up, cupped (Y/N)’s cheeks, and kissed him. (Y/N) raised his brows, but immediately returned the kiss. The kiss was long and light, filled with love. When Castiel pulled back, (Y/N) slowly opened his eyes.

“What was that for?” He asked quietly, reaching a hand up to caress Castiel’s.

Castiel hesitated before he let out a sigh. “Admittedly, I was rather nervous about this whole process at first. I was unsure of what would happen and how it would affect you. I never want to see you hurt. However, I see how happy you are when you see yourself now. The negative thoughts you used to have about yourself diminished greatly, and you’re even more handsome than when we first met. I’ve come to realize that my love for you can, indeed, grow stronger, and it does so every day.”

(Y/N) could feel his heart and chest swell. If he was in a cartoon, he swore his pupils would turn into hearts.

“I love you, too, Cas,” He said softly as he wrapped his arms around his waist and laid his head against his chest. “More than you’ll ever know.”

*~*

(Y/N) had been in bed for three hours. Within the past week, he had started to experience bottom growth. Although he was excited to be able to start that part of his transition, to fully feel like his body was conforming to the person he was, he had to admit that the pain was more intense than he had originally anticipated. It wasn’t a constant pain, but when it arose, it felt like a dull, throbbing pain mixed with the sensation of a thousand needles simultaneously stabbing his clit. Painkillers worked for the first couple of days, but the relief gradually faded as the pain became more intense. No matter which way he sat down, stood, or laid down, nothing could dull the ache.

He had done some research on different forums about bottom growth, and he found that only a small - minuscule would be a more accurate word - amount of transmen experience full-on pain during bottom growth. So few that there was barely any information on how to relieve the pain. He could only assume that those people saw the thousands of comments claiming no one would have pain that they were too afraid to post about their own experience. He cursed himself for being so unlucky. His transition had been going so well. Of course there would be a hiccup. That was just his luck.

Perhaps it was similar to that of period cramps. Perhaps the intense pain would only last a while before it went away. Perhaps he was kidding himself. That he was the only transman to experience that level of discomfort. Perhaps that was just karma for thinking he could be a real man.

Fuck that. If pain was what it took to be a man, he was prepared to endure it, even if it killed him.

The icepack had turned warm and no longer provided relief. He had his eyes closed, head tilted back into the pillow, his fingers tangled tightly into his hair. A hiss passed his clenched teeth as another sharp pain attacked his nerves. As the pain slowly subsided, there was a light rasp on the door.

“Come in,” he groaned.

The door opened a crack. Castiel poked his head into the room before he stepped inside. A worried look was prominent on his face as he closed the door and moved closer to the bed.

“(Y/N), are you alright? Sam and Dean told me you’ve been in here for quite some time.” He asked, taking a seat next to him.

(Y/N) inhaled sharply as the dip of the bed caused discomfort to shoot between his legs. Castiel glanced between (Y/N)’s legs and his eyes.

“No, I’m not okay,” (Y/N) whined. “I started bottom growth and it hurts like Hell. I’m tired and hungry, but the aches are so bad that I don’t want to get up or go to sleep. I just want it all to pass,”

Tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes as he ran his hand down his face. Castiel’s feeling of worry only intensified as he saw how (Y/N) had been affected. He shifted in his spot.

“(Y/N), I don’t like seeing you like this. Let me heal you,” he pleaded with him as he reached his index and middle finger towards his forehead.

(Y/N)’s eyes grew wide and he snatched Castiel’s wrist before he could be touched.

“Don’t you dare,” he growled, eyes narrowed and words dripped in venom.

Castiel raised his brows, taken aback by the tone of voice that was used. It was the first time (Y/N) had ever spoken to him like that.

“(Y/N), please, I can see how much you’re hurting. Let me take care of you.”

“No! Because I don’t know what your stupid angel juice will do to me. I’ve worked so hard to get where I’m at,” his voice was strained, broken.

“I just want you to be happy again.”

“I am happy!” (Y/N)’s loud voice echoed off the walls of the room as he sat up quickly.

He instantly regretted his movement when a painful shockwave struck his nerves. He clenched his jaw, cupped his crotch, and laid on his side, his back to Castiel. Castiel reached over to comfort him, but his hand was roughly shoved away. (Y/N) paid no mind to the expression of hurt Castiel had.

“I fought with myself my entire life to figure out who I am, and I fought even harder to get to where I am right now. If being in pain will turn me into the man I want to be, then so be it. Your father already made one mistake by putting me in the wrong body. I’m not going to sit here and let you reverse the progress I’ve made to finally fix his fuck-up.”

“(Y/N)-”

“No! I don’t want to hear it. Now get out.”

Castiel froze, surprised by the demand. It had been a while since he saw (Y/N) so angry, and the last time wasn’t even directed toward him. He never raised his voice at Castiel. Sure, they had their spats here and there, as most couples do, but they never shouted at one another. They knew how to talk about their problems, work through them, and discuss the way that they felt, something a decent amount of relationships lack. This was a whole new experience for Castiel.

He hated it.

At first, he contemplated talking to (Y/N) again. Try to convince him to take his offer to heal him. He hated seeing his partner in such a painful state, the same as at the end of any hunt. Castiel’s first instinct would be to heal him. To make the pain go away. To be able to see the smile he adored so much, which was hidden by the layers of agony he was experiencing. Alas, in the end, he decided against it. Instead, he opted to follow (Y/N)’s wants. He stood slowly, and quietly, from his spot on the bed and walked over to the door. His eyes never left (Y/N), his mind performing one last battle with itself, the urge to speak overwhelming. He held the desire back as he opened the door and left the room.

*~*

The library was quiet. Sam and Dean sat on either side of one of the tables, Sam with a pile of books laid out in front of him and Dean with his laptop and a small bowl of snacks. The occasional sound of pages being turned and the mouse pad click filled the room. Aside from the occasional small talk, they said nothing. Castiel entered the room, and their attention turned to him.

“Hey Cas,” Dean greeted.

“Hey Cas, how is he?” Sam followed up.

Castiel walked over to the table and sat down to the left of Dean. A sigh escaped his lips as he slouched in the seat, his folded hands resting on his stomach. He had a visibly defeated look on his face as he took some time to answer Sam’s question.

“He is in a lot of pain. I attempted to heal him, but he wouldn’t let me. He got upset with me and kicked me out of the room. I’ve never seen him so angry before.” Castiel shook his head.

Sam and Dean stared at him for quite some time.

“You tried to heal him?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Castiel confirmed. “He is in a lot of pain. I am certain I can make it go away.”

“Cas, he doesn’t want to be healed,” Sam said.

“I realize that, Sam.”

“No, I don’t think you do. I can tell you’re still upset about the whole thing. What (Y/N) is going through right now is a normal part of the transition. Granted, he has it a Hell of a lot worse than most, but, that’s why we called you. We thought you would be able to come over and comfort him.”

“I thought healing him would be comforting. It was supposed to make him feel better. To get him back to normal.”

“See? ‘Back to normal’. Don’t you see how that can be misconstrued?”

Castiel looked at him curiously. “I do not.”

“Well, what you see as something to be healed, (Y/N) doesn’t. He’s very proud of the pain he’s in. He views it as an accomplishment. To heal him and take that pain away, it would be as if you’re stripping him of that achievement.”

“Sam’s right,” Dean chimed in. “When he first noticed the bottom growth, he came to us saying, ‘Guys! Guys! I have a dick now!’.” Dean mocked with a smile, causing Sam and Castiel to grin as well. “And then, when the pain started, and we began to get worried, he would say, ‘It hurts like Hell, but I still have a dick’. He was still happy about it, even though it hurt.”

Castiel nodded, considering their words. “I see,” he trailed. “I know that this was a big deal for (Y/N), but I didn’t comprehend why he was willing to go through the pain. I understand, now, that it’s because he’s finally happy with himself and the progress he has made. The way I worded my concern for his wellbeing made it appear as if I wanted to reverse the work he has done.”

“Exactly!” Sam nodded.

“I would never want that, though. (Y/N) appears to be in the best mindset I have ever seen him in, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that. I would never reverse the progress, even if I could.”

“We understand that. We know how much you love him-”

“Yeah, it’s kind of gross,” Dean mumbled.

Sam sighed. “As I was saying, we know how much you love him, and we recognize you would never say or do anything to threaten that progress, but when someone is in a lot of pain, they don’t always think clearly. Take Dean for example. When I have to stitch him up after a hunt, he says some pretty mean shit to me, but he never means it.”

“At least that’s what I let him think,” Dean whispered to Castiel just loud enough for Sam to hear.

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. “Dean, you’re not helping.”

“Sorry,” Dean cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair.

“(Y/N) is still head-over-heels in love with you.” Sam turned back to Castiel. “Pain can just make us say some stupid stuff. It would probably be best to give each other some space right now, think about what we discussed, and talk to one another tomorrow.”

“I think that is a good idea,” Castiel said as he stood from the table and brushed off his trenchcoat. “Will you keep me informed on how he is throughout the day?”

“Of course, man, yeah,” Sam smiled up at him, which Castiel was quick to return.

“Thank you. I will be on my way, then.”

“Where are you going?”

“To retrieve some of (Y/N)’s favorite treats to give to him. I’m hoping that might make him feel better.”

Sam’s smile widened. “That’s a good idea.”

*~*

It took (Y/N) over two hours to be able to fall asleep. The pain hadn’t been constant, but with how exhausted he was and the tears burning in the corner of his eyes, all he could do was lay there and think. He couldn’t believe the audacity that Castiel had to ask if he wanted to be healed. Scratch that. Castiel hadn’t even asked if he wanted it. He had simply told (Y/N) that he was going to heal him. He didn’t need that, though. He didn’t need to be fixed. (Y/N) was perfect the way he was, even if some things still needed to be tweaked. Nothing about him was broken. Therefore, nothing needed to be fixed.

Perhaps he was overthinking Castiel’s intentions. Truly, he never meant what (Y/N) interpreted it as, right? Castiel loved (Y/N), even though his physical attributes were changing, right? Of course, he did, otherwise, he wouldn’t have practically begged to heal him. Right?

With the image of Castiel’s pain-filled eyes in his mind, he couldn’t help but feel a tinge of guilt swell in his stomach.

He had never snapped at Castiel before. He didn’t think Castiel deserved it. Especially now. All he had tried to do was make him feel better - in Castiel’s own way - and (Y/N) took the anger he had for the pain out on him. How could he do that to him? The shame was eating him up inside. There wasn’t much he could do, though. The aches and pains made any desire to move or speak vanish. He knew he had to apologize, to make things right, but it would have to wait until he felt better.

Eventually, after another round of pain, (Y/N) could feel the exhaustion wash over him. His eyelids slid shut, and it didn’t take long for slumber to come.

*~*

The pain was more bearable when he awoke. It was more of a dull throb rather than needle-like stabbing. He was able to move around with mild discomfort. Even though he was more mobile, the exhaustion from the day before was still very much present, despite the hours of sleep he had gotten. The desire to crawl into his bed once more was intense. Thankfully, the lack of a hunt made that possible. So, as soon as he awoke, he got up, grabbed himself a water bottle, painkillers, and snacks, and retreated to his room.

While the pain had subsided substantially, his thoughts were clearer than before. He was able to think back to the spat he had with Castiel in greater detail and understanding. With a mind free of any pain-influenced thoughts, he felt even more guilty than he had before he slept. The hurt he had seen in Castiel’s eyes was practically burned into his soul. The only other time Castiel had looked at him with those eyes was when he was on the brink of death after a hunt gone wrong. He never wanted to be the cause for that look. He shouldn’t have snapped. Not at Castiel. Never at Castiel.

As he lay in bed, he pulled out his phone, brought up Castiel’s contact, and texted him.

Hey, babe. Could you come to our room when you get the chance, please?

He placed the phone onto his lap and began to nibble on the nail of his thumb. He couldn’t think of anything else. Nothing could shift his attention away from the problem at hand. Even if he tried to occupy himself with mindless scrolling or one of his hobbies, he didn’t think he would be able to concentrate on anything else. The whole disaster could have been avoided had (Y/N) thought about Castiel’s intentions rather than his insecurities. That was one of the character flaws he had to work on.

It wasn’t long before three soft knocks echoed against the wooden door, and (Y/N)’s head whipped up.

“Come in,” he said.

Just like before, the door opened a crack and Castiel poked his head inside before entering the room. Instead of the worried look he had before, it was replaced by intense nerves. Not only that, but, in his hands, Castiel held a small, decorative box, some items poking out of the top. The box was the least of (Y/N)’s worries.

“Good morning,” Castiel greeted, almost cautiously. “How are you feeling today?”

“A bit better. A little achy, but nothing like it was yesterday.”

“I’m glad.”

They sat in silence. (Y/N) still laid back on the bed while Castiel stood a couple of feet from him. The guilt only intensified. To think that Castiel was nervous to get closer to him because of his outburst broke his heart. Rightfully so. He patted the spot next to him on the bed. Castiel took the silent invitation and moved over to him. As he got closer, (Y/N)’s attention shifted to the box.

“What’s in there?” He asked quietly.

Castiel looked down at the box and then back at him. “It’s some of your favorite snacks,” he said and held out the box to him. “I figured it would make you feel better.”

Carefully, (Y/N) took the box from him and examined the contents. Inside were, indeed, some of his favorite snacks and candies. The guilt was killing him. He gave a small smile and set the box to the side.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” Castiel gingerly sat beside him on the bed, careful of the way it shifted under his weight. “(Y/N), I wanted to apologize-”

“No, Cas,” (Y/N) interrupted. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, okay? I should be the one to apologize for what happened.”

(Y/N) turned his body in the bed, his face contorting slightly to a look of discomfort from the ache and settled for laying on his side so he could face Castiel.

“I should have never yelled at you like that. I should have never yelled at you at all. You were only trying to help. I realize that now, and I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”

Castiel nodded. “Sam informed me that my intentions might have been misconstrued because of the pain.”

“They were at the time. The pain clouded my judgment and, in a sense, it made me assume you wanted to get rid of my bottom growth altogether. I know that’s impossible, and I don’t know what could have made me think otherwise. If you were capable of changing me to that extent, I would have asked you months ago to use your grace on me instead of taking hormones,” he let out a dry chuckle. “But, Cas, I hope you know that my being in pain doesn’t give me a reason to talk to you the way that I did.”

“I understand,” He replied, gaze cast down.

“Hey, look at me,” (Y/N) reached over and, using his index and middle fingers, turned Castiel’s head so that their eyes were connected. “You don’t deserve to be talked to like that, especially by me. I was a terrible boyfriend at that moment.”

“No, you weren’t,” Castiel shook his head as he grasped both of (Y/N)’s hands in his. “I’ve had time to reflect, and, if I’ve learned anything from my time on Earth, it’s that people make mistakes. It’s okay to make those mistakes as long as you take accountability for them. I took accountability for my mistake, and you took accountability for yours.”

“You’re right, accountability is very important, and people do make mistakes, but those mistakes shouldn’t hurt the ones we love. I love you, Castiel, more than you’ll ever truly know. You’ve stood by my side through every second of my transition and have continued to show your undying love and support for me, even when I’m a dick to you. You even got me a damn basket of my favorite snacks, even after what I did,” Tears streaked down his cheeks, and his voice began to quiver as he spoke. “You are so kind and caring and compassionate, and I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop,” Castiel reached a hand up and used his thumb to brush the tears away from his cheeks. “(Y/N), I love you, too. More than I ever thought possible. You deserve everything, and I wish I could give it to you. It hurt me so much to see you in pain, that I didn’t even consider your feelings. That was selfish of me, but, I know, from now on, I will consider what you want before I consider anything else.”

(Y/N) sniffled. “Oh, Cas, you’re not selfish. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. The fact that you care so much about me is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I just need to learn to keep my damn mouth shut when you’re trying to be nice,” he chuckled and leaned his forehead against Castiel’s. “Can you forgive me?”

Castiel opened his mouth to protest, to say that (Y/N) didn’t need to be forgiven, but he took a page out of his newly found book of social knowledge and gave him a small smile. “Yes, I forgive you. Do you forgive me?”

(Y/N) attempted to do the same, to say that Castiel had done nothing wrong, to repeat the same line he had just preached. But he just copied the smile and gave a faint nod. “I forgive you.” He whispered as he leaned over and kissed him sweetly.

The kiss lasted a couple of seconds before they pulled away, enjoying their sweet embrace. (Y/N) shifted on the bed to get more comfortable and, again, winced when the ache returned. Castiel took notice, his eyes roaming (Y/N)’s body.

“Are you alright? Would you like me to get you anything?” He asked.

(Y/N) shook his head. “No, babe, thank you. Maybe we could just lie in bed together for a bit while I snack on the treats you got me?”

Castiel smiled. “That sounds like a great idea.”

The two of them adjusted themselves in the bed so Castiel was laid on his back and (Y/N) was laid on his side. His head and hand rested on his chest while Castiel’s arm was wrapped around his shoulders. (Y/N) reached over, grabbed one of the many bags of candy, and sat it between them. They sat in a comfortable silence, wrapped in each other’s embrace, never wanting to let go.

Everyone seeks some type of support and comfort from others. Whether it be family, friends, partners, coworkers, or complete strangers, the strength and stability of the human race depend on the support of others in some way, shape, or form. (Y/N) was lucky enough to be put in a situation where he was surrounded by people who loved and appreciated him for who he was. Despite the trials and tribulations of the past and the ones yet to come, he knew he always had loved ones in his life to fall back on in times of trouble.

And (Y/N) would cherish that for as long as he lived.

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adventurer515 · 4 months

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i forgor i had this in my docs bc i was too focused on my guardian angel au… um this is based on that one angelic blood = drug fic w the straw (WOW HOW SPECIFIC) :’)) the premise was supposed to be jealous lucifer baiting alastor w his blood the entire time,, i’m posting the start here bc i still find it rlly cute but im not sure abt finishing it… it’s unedited also so just a head’s up 😔🫶

Warnings: blood drinking, drug use, mild cannibalism, domestic fluff

Lucifer and Alastor’s little understanding does not prevent their bickering. If anything, their understanding just makes the bickering even more frequent! Alastor just exists to irritate him no matter what, apparently beyond amused by his annoyance and proud at his ability to tick him off.

(“Did you really have to put my blood in a toy teacup?”

“It’s classy! Besides, Nifty gave it to me. Who would I be if I were to not use such an auspicious gift? Look. It even matches your eyes! Ah, ah, ah. Kindly please don’t melt the teacup, Lucifer.”)

Charlie thinks that their interactions are sweet and that she’s glad that they’re getting along, but Lucifer would like to disagree. They can barely stand to be in the same room apart from feedings at night where he can cling to Alastor as much as he wants, relishing in the free physical intimacy and comfort that the radio demon provides while he eats.

(“You’re squeezing my ribs too hard.”

“You’re literally eating my shoulder. If anyone has a right to complain, it’s me!”)

It makes Lucifer feel less lonely about Lilith leaving him as he finds comfort in Alastor. He knows very clearly that Alastor mostly sees him as a food source, the king of hell that lives right across the hall, and Charlie’s dead beat dad, but it’s fine. Alastor can be strangely sweet at times, even if he shows them in unconventional ways.

(“Here! I have made you some dinner. It’s very delicious, so you can stop eating those pancakes now.”

“Oh, thanks? But why?”

“Your blood sugar is too high during feedings. It leaves a taste.”)

Besides, even if whatever they have can be strange to him, Lucifer is okay with it. He knows that, in some way, he’s special to him. Alastor very rarely allows people to touch him, especially so closely (only his friends he’s had for years, even Charlie at times, but never men, for some reason). He knows that he holds Alastor’s respect and it bothers him whenever Lucifer says something condescending or doesn’t pay attention to him (Alastor likes the attention and the ability to hear the sound of his own voice, but Lucifer honestly just thinks he’s a narcissist).

However, it’s Lucifer’s blood that he’s really after. As the only Seraphim in the Pride Ring—and Hell itself—Alastor understands that being able to drink so freely from him and so often is something he won’t easily trade away. It leads to Alastor being especially territorial over him, especially when eating, and Lucifer—while fully capable of protecting himself—finds himself with a more than capable bodyguard. It also provides some assurance that Alastor keeps Charlie and the Hazbin Hotel in his best interests.

Their understanding is unconventional and manipulative on both sides, but it’s nice to have and the security is comforting.

Until that security is threatened.

((By the way, the angelic blood = drug fic series mentioned is the one with Snake in the Grass, Apple of My Eye, and the Silly Straw, which are all by anon.))

#raddioapple #appleradio #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #alastor #lucifer morningstar #fanfic #fic #ao3 #duckiedeer #alastor x lucifer #fic snippets

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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 2 months

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🦉 🩹 if you’re still doing them!

Unexpected Surprises - Jack Delroy/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, mentions of Minne's sickness and death, Jack is a miserable drunk, sad unrequited kisses, the reader makes a deal.

Wordcount: 5486

Summary: 'Night Owl Co-host' wasn't the job you signed up for, and you really weren't prepared to be a TV personality when getting coffee for the real stars was what you were expecting, but maybe you could do this as long as your new friends kept cheering you on.

Notes: According to my docs I've written for Jack more than anyone so far, him and Abner have so much love in my inbox and I'm so happy for that 😊 I almost missed this one since I saved the starts in my drafts, so I'm super glad I looked lol. Bit different plot this time, so far it's my only fic without smut for him haha but I've wanted to explore this kind of friendship for a while, so I'm glad I was able to get the chance to, I hope you enjoy it~ 💗💗💗

When you went in for your interview at UBC Studies, you expected to get stuck with the unfortunate but decent-paying job of getting others some coffee, taking some calls, and being bossed around by some snooty TV people who thought themselves better than you. What you didn't expect was for them to take one look at you, hear your voice and match it with your outgoing personality, and instead give you a job alongside their newest sign, Jack Delroy, as his co-host. You didn't know a thing about the guy, just that he came from radio, and those people had a tendency to be just as stuck up as their television counterparts. You weren't excited, but the paycheck was miles better than what you would've gotten had you gone with the internship, so you spent the next month preparing your best showman self for the cameras with the help of your friends and family, who were all excited to see you make an absolute fool of yourself on live television.

Schadenfreude, your oldest foe.

The dress rehearsal ran fine, the seats all empty as everyone practiced their cues for the first show, got used to where they'd be sitting or standing or pointing their cameras, backstage abuzz with energy as people grabbed coffee to calm their nerves about tomorrow and sneakily poured in a little extra flavour of their own when that didn't help. The man of the hour himself, Mr. Delroy, or Jack as he wanted everyone to call him, seemed pretty okay, he'd only had a chance to give you a quick hello before he was being rushed off to go over his markers, and you were in the middle of wondering where the hell you were supposed to come in when you were ushered off to the area beside the band. You were to stay there primarily, offer your own comedic quips as you saw fit as long as they were sponsor-safe, but for the most part you just had to rehearse your own bits to go along with his teleprompted speeches.

Basically: stand there, look nice, boost him up.

So you did just that, your grin as wide as it would go as everyone practiced, you really needed this job and you were not about to serve coffee to these people after being their boss, your charm on full blast just like his as final checks were given and everyone celebrated in early excitement for tomorrow night. That was another thing, getting stuck on Night Owls meant you had to become one, no more early bedtimes so you could get in a good 10 hours; now you would be getting home at almost 2AM after everything, and still be expected to get up at 7 so you could be a model citizen and do things like shop and go to the bank and socialize. You dreaded that part more than the job itself, already feeling tired as you pulled into the lot and dragged yourself over to his studio.

It was already busy again, other shows already filming as you traversed the back halls you were now familiar with, and you made sure you looked presentable before stepping backstage to find Jack and go over your very first routine together. You found him talking to your producer, Leo Fiske, who was already smoking what had to be his second pack of the day and running on pure nerves while Jack looked so wired he might've actually been able to run a mile or two before the show started. Neither noticed you until you approached, Jack’s eyes meeting yours a second before Leo turned and grabbed onto your shoulders.

‘The hell have you been?’ he instantly demanded, Jack muttering for him to calm down as you tore yourself free and readjusted your sleeves.

‘There's still an hour before the show, I'm not late,’ you defended yourself, Leo shaking his head and motioning towards everyone already there.

‘I dunno what kinda job you had before this, but if you're an hour early you're already an hour late,’ he explained, Jack hushing him again before Leo noticed something else and had to run off and fix it before he could continue with you. You just stared, used to his eccentric personality already, so you weren't upset or anything, but this would definitely not help your desire to go home and go to bed in the upcoming nights.

‘Don't worry about him,’ Jack said softly as he watched him go, your hand already up to wave off his concern.

‘I really don't,’ you admitted with a chuckle, and as you went for your own coffee you realized that this was the first time you'd actually been alone with him since production started; despite being co-hosts, both of your attentions had been torn elsewhere the past month, all your smalltalk and introductions surrounded by other people and large gaps as you stood in your places and worked out what activities you'd be doing as the show went on. ‘So, big night tonight, huh? I've never done anything like this before, if I mess up I'll have to quit,’ you joked, and he just drank the rest of his coffee before shaking his head and tossing the cup into the trash.

‘Nah, I've seen how quick you are on your feet, if you make any mistakes I'm sure you'll be able to spin it and make the audience laugh, and that's all that really matters,’ he told you with a smile, and you felt something flutter in your stomach at the sight of it; okay, weird, he wasn't usually your type and was technically more your boss than anything despite being around the same age, you'd have to decipher that one when you got home tonight. ‘Besides, if you can't think of anything I'll be sure to cover you, I've done my fair share of, you'll forgive the expression, fuck ups on air,’ he admitted lowly with a wink, the fluttering turning to something stronger as you just nodded back.

‘What're you doing still standing around? You think you're gunna wear that on camera? I told you to match with Jack, there's gotta be something in here we can get you in- Jesus, tomorrow you two are going shopping together so you don't clash like this again.’ Leo was a flash flood of words as he came up behind you, your eyes wide as you had seconds to take in what he was saying before you were being herded off towards the section of backstage dedicated to makeup, hair, and costumes. Jack just chuckled as he followed after so that the poor woman would know how to match you, your carefully picked outfit respectfully torn off of you behind a curtain while Leo flipped through the available backups while ignoring the advice of the costumer.

By the time midnight was finally about to hit, you were wearing an entirely new outfit, Jack was making sure everything was in place, and Leo was halfway through that second pack as you took a deep breath and headed out in front of everyone. The seats were all packed to your surprise, you weren't sure for the longest time if this new late night show would be able to compete with the others, but as you got into position and the band started to warm up, you felt a new confidence take over as you pictured how hard Jack had been working to get here, how much he wanted this. As such, you gave it your all as you announced your sponsors and very first guests, your best professional voice on as you mimicked other hosts you'd been watching to prepare for tonight. The music was loud behind you, upping your energy even more as Jack’s cue ramped up, and when you called out his name and everyone cheered you felt a bit of pride join the butterflies as the door opened and he danced out.

‘Good evening, Night Owls! I’m your host, Jack Delroy, and thank you for allowing me into your living rooms for the first of what I hope will be many, many shows,’ he declared as he took his mark, an extremely brief prayer to the heavens you noticed was not part of his rehearsals offered up now that he was in front of the cameras. ‘I’d like to thank everyone who helped bring this dream to life, especially my dear mom and dad back in Berwyn, Illinois, who I know are sitting in front of their TV set, big smiles on their faces, watching “The Tonight Show” with Johnny Carson.”’ A drum beat was hit right on cue as he made a pained face, the audience eating it up as you also couldn’t help but laugh despite hearing the bit over and over while he practiced, and the smile that followed kicked those butterflies into overdrive as he gazed up at everyone starting to fall in love with him already.

You felt that pride only grow as the night went on, Jack feeding you all the energy you needed throughout the show until you didn't need it anymore, the two of you meshing so well it was like you'd always known each other. All of his jokes landed, his personality translated greatly to the camera, and you couldn't help but tease when a woman in the audience called him handsome, his face lighting up faster than the 4th of July at the comment. You saw it and couldn't help but join in, Jack hiding from the cameras playfully as the audience agreed, someone else saying they'd been listening to his show for years and that he did not have a face for radio, and when he laughed loud you laughed right along with him.

All in all it was a successful first night, very much so if you did say so yourself, and when it was over and the cameras were cut you all gathered out on stage for hugs and cheers as the audience gave their final applause and headed out the doors. Leo, who might have burned straight through to his fourth pack you did not doubt, hooked his arms around both your neck and Jack's, big kisses pressed to your cheeks as he promised champagne for everyone who was still awake enough to stick around. You wanted to decline, go home and sleep, but the moment you saw Jack loosen his tie and accept a glass for a toast you found yourself not so tired anymore.

You got more used to your new schedule as the weeks turned to months, Night Owls getting more popular as time went on to everyone's delight, and as you became closer as co-hosts you ended up finding a pretty good friend in Jack as well. Being a proper night owl was hard, but he helped you get into a livable routine of it as he invited you out before the show, made sure you got used to eating so you wouldn't be running on empty despite the late hour, a quick coffee not enough to cut it you learned after the first week.

It was while you were out on one of these pre-show dinners that you learned about Madeleine, his girlfriend that he'd met a couple months ago and officially asked out with the news that Night Owls was in the Top 10. Your smile faltered for just a second before you caught yourself and shook her hand, and she was polite and beautiful as she sat down next to Jack and blushed as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her neck. You'd never seen him like this before, so doting and flustered and very clearly in love as he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, and you kept your smile up all the way through their talks about how they met, how much she adored him while he tried to switch the conversation to her, up until you headed for the show, and when you walked through the doors Leo took one look at you and offered you his whiskey without a word, a new one already poured by the time you drank it back.

You weren't jealous of Madeleine, you weren't, but by God if you didn't feel a twinge every time she showed up backstage on her way home from one of her own shows to kiss him goodnight. He was head over heels and it showed when he went on stage, his energy unmatched as he delivered the best hours of his life to the masses every weeknight. You were there for every single one, never letting the facade crack as you stood next to him, played off his jokes, spun the wheel and got more hugs than him from happy winners as his slightly younger and conventionally attractive counterpart, as Leo once described you, and even acted alongside him in some random sketches since you both weren't actors and your campiness brought charm to it.

You weren't jealous of her, but you couldn't deny your feelings for him the night he announced his engagement, not even a year into their relationship, as Jack tapped his glass with his knife and got everyone's attention. He declared it to the room, everyone who was able to attend out for a big Night Owl dinner to celebrate one year on air, and after you all toasted to that he surprised you all with invitations to the wedding, which was to be a small gathering of just their family and closest friends, which he now considered all of you to be. You toasted to that as well, but didn't realize you'd started crying until Leo handed you a tissue and offered to pour you more wine, since you'd just finished off your glass. You didn't stand out, some of the others were crying too over the news, but you had a feeling that Leo knew your tears weren't in joy for the happy couple when he offered you his handkerchief next.

It got better with time, honestly you didn't even think that your crush was that strong to begin with, it was more so the fact that your best friend was taken than anything, and you were able to push past it with great success. As the first year turned into two you only became closer, and you didn't even feel jealous anymore when you and Leo were invited up to Madeleine's family cottage up in the mountains that Christmas. You had a wonderful time, and you joined in the teasings right along with her as Jack was gifted the ugliest sweater you'd ever seen in your life, which he of course wore proudly while denying its ugliness, although you could not tell if it was just another bit or not. Gifts were exchanged, drinks were had, and when you fell asleep in the spare room while watching the snowfall outside you felt like you'd found yourself a family with those three, and that meant much more to you than any crush ever would.

It broke your heart when Madeleine's diagnosis was shared with you that morning a few years in, genuinely shattered it as his voice cracked and he had to cover his mouth to stop himself from breaking down. ‘We just received the news last night,’ he confided in you, the two of you currently having breakfast together because he couldn't be home when she wasn't there. ‘Her parents are coming down, her sister is at the hospital with her while she's doing more tests to be sure, I don't… I stopped smoking inside for her, she hated the smell of it, and she's never smoked a day in her life, I don't understand, I just don't-’

You reached across the table to place your hand on his arm, and he held onto you as he finally did break down, people glancing over to watch and guess as you fought not to glare at them. You moved to his side of the table, protecting him with your silhouette, and when the waitress came over to take your orders you asked for a bit more time while he hunched over his cold coffee and just breathed.

The atmosphere was solemn as Jack wheeled Madeleine backstage to get ready, both of your friends looking like the life had been sucked out of them as everyone gave her their polite but quiet hellos. You went last, only going because Leo nudged you directly in the spine to get your legs to move, and she took off her oxygen mask so she could pull you down into a tight hug.

‘Take care of him for me,’ she whispered in your ear just quietly enough for you to hear, and you knew you were crying before you could even pull away.

You gave them all the space they needed during the show, no time for quips or jokes as she talked about how they met, their hands clasped the entire hour as everyone just listened. No one hid their tears, not even Jack as she told him she loved him, and she was still beautiful as you saw him whisper it back to her.

When the show was over there were so many goodbyes, no one honestly knew how much time she had left, and she still made sure to talk to everyone until it became too much and she needed a break. The crowd thinned then, until it was just you, Jack and Madeleine, and even Leo, who refused to leave until he could lock up the place, although you all knew why he kept hanging around. He didn't even smoke as she was brought back out to their car, your producer graciously helping Jack lift her into her seat even though she insisted she could, just to be polite.

You felt useless as you just stood there, making sure the chair wouldn't roll away until it was folded and placed carefully into the backseat, and when you and Leo waved them goodbye he didn't even complain and say that life was tough so you'd better get used to it when you clung to his jacket and cried about how unfair the world was being to your friends.

Madeleine passed two weeks later, and it was to no one's surprise when Jack went missing.

Even you didn't know where he was as you waited in your apartment for a single sign that he was still in New York, your phone pulled so far into the living room to make sure you'd hear it from any room if it rang that you’d tripped on the overextended cord a couple times already. It was weird not going to work, but even still your body didn't let you sleep until 2AM as usual no matter what time you climbed into bed. Despite that, it was hard to wake up knowing that Madeleine was now gone and Jack was nowhere to be found, and you ended up a bit of a recluse once the tabloids found out where you lived and tried to see if you knew anything.

You didn't, which stung, but even if you did you'd never say a thing to lead them to wherever he was, you could never betray your friend like that when he was hurting so much.

It was around midnight during the middle of the second week that your phone finally rang, and when all you heard on the other side was Leo's voice giving you an address you had barely enough sense to write it down and race over as fast as you could. You found Jack there, at Leo's second house just outside New York, the address unlisted so the vultures couldn't get to him when he needed a break, the man of the hour looking so tired and drained it was like a part of him literally died along with her, not just figuratively. The first thing you did was want to hug him the moment you saw him sitting in the next room, but before you could Leo grabbed you by the arm and all but dragged you through the nearest door, which ended up being a much too spacious closet for one Leo Fiske, you thought.

‘Take it easy on him, he almost went back to Chicago,’ he told you in a hushed voice, which only made you feel worse because you wouldn’t have known. ‘He’s been crashing here since the funeral, said home was too painful or something, only just today let me tell you he was here cause he isn’t about to run anymore.’ He tried to play it off that he didn’t care and that this was a nuisance to him, but you could see in his eyes that he was just as worried as you were.

‘I will,’ you promised as you kept yourself from crumbling, just knowing that he’d been here hiding from the world because his pain was too much made your heart ache, and when Leo finally let you go you approached him carefully; he was hunched over a photo album, it stuffed with the years they’d spent together, a bottle of whiskey on the coffee table and his half-filled glass in hand as he looked too miserable to even cry anymore. ‘Jack?’ you asked softly, and when he looked up it was almost like he didn’t even see you as he expected to see Madeleine once more, like this was all one big bad dream and he was about to wake up.

‘Oh, when did you get here?’ he mumbled when his eyes focused and saw you, and you couldn’t hide your own pain as you moved to sit down.

‘Just now, Leo called me,’ you explained, a bit of space between you as he nodded, drank the rest of his whiskey, and turned the page.

‘Ah yeah, I told him he could, didn’t I?’ It wasn’t really a question, and he didn’t wait for your answer as he tried to pour himself more and ended up dropping the bottle. It shattered against the hard surface of the table and spilled the dark liquid everywhere, his album almost falling into it before your hands quickly shot out to save it. At the thought of him almost ruining what he had left of her he broke down again, whiskey dripping onto the carpet below as he hid his face in his hands and started to cry.

‘I got it, Jack,’ Leo quickly said as he tossed down some embroidered towels to soak it up, clearly money wasn’t an issue for him as he ruined even more of his expensive things to help his friend, the album set safely aside as the two of you cleaned up his mess.

‘My fault, it’s all my fault…’ he moaned as his legs were lifted and more towels were tossed down, his movements starting to sway as the alcohol took hold of him. ‘Minnie, what did I do…?’

‘I think it’s time he gets to bed, you’ll find it upstairs, 3rd door on the left,’ Leo muttered under his breath as Jack almost fell onto the cushions, gravity starting to take hold as well. You just nodded and stood, hoisting his arm over your shoulders and helping him stand while Leo took care of the mess, the sound of the couch being moved following you all the way to the stairs. You trailed whiskey footsteps behind you for a bit, shiny shoe prints that showed where you’d been as you headed up, his head still lucid enough that he didn’t fall or leave you to support his weight entirely.

His bedroom was a wreck, the splendor of the house lost in the mess he’d made in his depression, but you just carefully stepped around fallen clothes and his open suitcase until you reached the bed. He collapsed onto it and just sobbed, it making him look small for once as he curled up, and you were in the middle of taking his shoes off for him when he looked up and something flashed across his face. ‘Oh, there you are, when did you get here?’ he asked again, and you swallowed the thick lump in your throat as you placed his shoes on the ground.

‘Just now,’ you repeated, and he nodded before staring at the empty space beside him. He whimpered as he ran his hand over the comforter, it was too empty after so many years of her being beside him every night, and when you sat down and his hand found yours in the dark you didn’t object. He pulled you into that space, eyes unfocused again in his drunken haze, he was absolutely ruined and you wished you could do more for him as you brushed his hair out of his eyes and let him find comfort in your presence.

‘What did I do… this was never supposed to happen…’ he was murmuring to himself, and you just whispered that it was okay, his hand finding your face next as he traced the shapes in the dim light. ‘It was never supposed to turn out this way… you have to believe me… please believe me, Minne…’ You shut your eyes, your hand trembling as you held his hand and tried to decipher what he meant, but you were never able to as he suddenly let out a small gasp, the hand gently brushing your cheek now pressed against you fully. ‘Minnie?’

Your eyes shot open to see him staring at you, his own glazed over from the whiskey as he saw her in your face, and you only cried harder as he started to sit up.

‘I’ve missed you, I missed you so much,’ he told her, but she was you, and he couldn’t hear your voice as he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and held you close. You didn’t look anything like her, but it must not have mattered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his lips cold against your skin as he sobbed, and you were ready to pretend until sleep took him when you felt him kiss you properly; you pulled away, startled, but he held on tight and tried again, the tears never stopping as he whispered apologies against your mouth, and when he tried a third time you kissed him back.

You hadn’t had feelings for him in years, there were no butterflies as your friend then curled against your chest and hugged you around the waist as he kept mumbling nonsense only he understood, but you’d give him one more minute with Madeleine if you truly could, you would trade anything for that. You couldn’t find Jack Delroy in the man falling asleep against you, he was missing just as much as she was as you rubbed his back and let him rest, and when Leo came upstairs and found you like that he just sighed and walked over. He didn’t say a word as he helped free you, his handkerchief offered to you again as you wiped your eyes and blew your nose, Jack now sleeping as peacefully as his heart would let him.

‘I’ll stay with him, it’s been bad tonight, you head home for now,’ he said softly, and you nodded before giving him one final glance and walking back to the front door. It felt even colder out as you headed for your car, the keys in your hand when you heard footsteps behind you, and when you spun around you saw a stranger standing there, leaning against Leo’s car. ‘Who’re you?’ you demanded angrily, you were not about to allow some lowlife paparazzi to invade this place and take pictures of his grief, but he had no camera on him, the stranger just holding up a hand nonchalantly.

‘Just a friend of Jack’s, I heard he was here,’ the man replied, and your brows furrowed instantly.

‘I know Jack’s friends, I’ve never seen you before,’ you hissed, and he shrugged and pulled out a cigarette.

‘We met back in Cali years ago, when I heard what happened I came down right away.’ He lit the end with a large, Zippo lighter, an owl etched into the side facing you you were just barely able to see in the moonlight, and it clinked loudly shut as he blew the smoke your way. ‘You two, you seem pretty close, anything going on that I should know about?’

‘Wha- how dare you insinuate anything just weeks after his wife-’ you started to threaten as you stepped closer, and he held up his hand again and brushed shoulder-length, blonde hair aside with a small laugh.

‘Easy, it was just an observation,’ he chuckled, but you still wanted to punch his lights out as he blew more smoke towards you and made you cough. ‘You’d still do anything for him though, right? I mean, working together for so many years, becoming that close, it must tear you up inside to see him like this, doesn’t it?’

‘Of course it does, they’re my family, Madeleine was my friend, if I could help him in any way then I would, it’s not even a question,’ you spat out, your voice rising just enough for him to motion for you to calm down before you garnered any attention from nosy neighbours.

‘So if you could help him, you would?’ he asked cryptically, and you didn’t know what kind of friend he was supposed to be, but you wouldn’t lie about this, not when you still had his tears drying on your shirt.

‘Yes, I would trade anything to be able to help him get his life back,’ you said seriously, and you swore you saw the stranger’s blue eyes shine as the clouds above uncovered the moon.

‘Interesting, you really care about him, huh?’ he thought aloud, and when you just nodded he chuckled again and held the cigarette between his lips. ‘I’ll ask our mutual friends back in Cali if they know any tricks to get him outta this funk, he’ll be back on camera in no time,’ he told you, cutting off your anger at his depression being condensed down to just a ‘funk’ as he held out his hand for you to shake. You didn’t want to, but he wasn’t letting up as his smile only grew, the corner of his mouth twitching eagerly as he waited, so you just sighed and grabbed on for the world’s fastest shake when he held on tight, grabbed his cigarette, and pressed the end directly into the back of your hand.

‘Ow! What the fuck?!’ you yelped as you pulled back, but there was no mark to go along with the burn, and when you looked back up you were alone again, the clouds covering the moon once more as an owl hooted in the darkness beyond where you couldn’t see.

Two weeks later, Jack was all over the news again as UBC announced his return, along with the addition of his new co-host, an old TV veteran by the name of Gus McConnell who meshed with him so well it was like he’d always been there. You smiled as you heard the news, something in your chest aching as you watched from your parents’ couch; you’d gotten sick the past week and had to quit your old job, temporarily moving back home with them since it was getting bad enough you couldn’t take care of yourself, unfortunately, but everyone was hopeful for the future thanks to your determination.

The memory of whatever your old job was was hazy now as a cough wracked through you, but that didn’t matter much as you got cozy under the blanket and tried not to let the pain overtake your excitement. You’d been a fan of Jack’s for years, you could still remember his first show so clearly almost like you’d been there, but you’d never had the time to grab yourself a ticket to join the studio audience no matter how much fun you thought it would be. The segment wasn’t long, just a quick announcement since he’d disappeared somewhere for a month, but you still watched with bated breath as a date showed up on screen.

His return show would be the following Monday, a fresh start to make up for his absence, and already you were excited to watch as you grabbed the remote and flipped from the news to a movie you could fall asleep to despite the early hours of the day. You were a night owl, tried and true, and you wanted to be awake for midnight so you could catch that night’s rerun in preparation for Monday, the small, circular birthmark on the back of your hand throbbing faintly as you shut your eyes and fell asleep.

#Ray's Readers #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #jack delroy #jack delroy x reader #a lot of my Leo lore came from dastmalcord honestly it's why he ended up with such a big part since everyone has a lot of ideas about him #yes I was absolutely imagining Matty/Rhys for the Stranger heheh

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noya-noya-noya · 10 months

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one of my favorite things about the whole buddie dynamics is the fact that while Buck is healing and beginning to choose himself (armchair scene) there's still a part of him that thinks he's only going to get love by risking his life, and that his life IS expendable. an "if I die, that's fine, but i sure would be sad if someone else dies" mentality.

it reminds me of that one line in inochi no kirawareteiru "Frankly, we don't care a bit if we, ourselves died but we'd be pretty said if the people around us died".

and Eddie... Eddie has been assuring him consistently that he is cherished, he is important, and he gets him out of his head when he's starting to spiral.

1...

Buck: I just, I wish I could- Eddie: Fix it? Buck: Yeah, yeah. I know I'm the guy who always wants to fix everything. Eddie: Hey! It comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in your wall.

2...

Buck: They never wanted another kid. They just had me for parts. Defective parts, as it turned out.

Eddie: Hey, that's not on you.

3...

Eddie: I'd eat a couple extra slices. You look like you're wasting away to nothing.

Buck: Eddie--

Eddie:I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me. I mean, you're no abuela, and you're half a Carla, but you'll do in a pinch.

Buck: You want me to watch Christopher?

Eddie: It's easy. He's not very fast.

Buck: After everything that happened?

Eddie: A natural disaster happened, Buck.

Buck: I lost him, Eddie.

Eddie: No, You saved him. That's how he remembers it. And now, it's his turn to do the same for you.

Buck: I was supposed to look out for him.

Eddie: And what, you think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count, and I'm his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too.

Eddie: Buck...there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.

Eddie: Thank you for not giving up

4...

Eddie: Are you hurt? (shooting scene)

5...

Buck: Now, listen, I had an entire fire truck fall on my leg, and hey, look at me now.

Eddie: *shakes his head*

Carson: That sounds horrible.

Buck: No, horrible was the blood clots you get after. Mine was in my lung. I was coughing up blood. And they put you on these blood thinners and...

Eddie: Buck.

(I always saw this as Eddie shaking his head because Buck was making fun of what happened to him and not because Buck might scare Carson because Carson wasn't really that scared anymore at that time)

6...

Bobby and Buck arrives at the firehouse, Eddie is alone and opens his arms, waiting to hear the news.

Bobby: Clean bill of health from the docs.

Eddie: Glad to hear it.

Eddie: Show-off.

Buck: I had to do it.

Eddie: No, I know you did.

7...

Doctor: We'll do our best.

Eddie: Do more!

and of course 8...

Eddie: Because, Evan you came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you are expendable, but you’re wrong.

there's probably a lot more but these are the top ones that I can think of.

i think for someone who lived their whole life looking for purpose (and somehow putting themself in harm's way is something they are accustomed to do) and having someone who has their back, defending them not just from others but their own mind as well, consistently, is a match incomparable.

#i cant think of what their love languages are but theres something there my brain just cant do it right now #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #buddie brainrot is strong yet again #evan buckley #911 on fox #looks like im on tumblr to be a buddie analyser i do not like it #im just saying #buck and eddie love each other but in different ways #make it happen abc

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annieqattheperipheral · 4 months

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Just watched saving sakic with lunch. I hadn't been clamoring to see it and only just sat down to do so bc my sis-in-law and i were watching trailers on prime video last night (why watch anything when you can just scroll thru listings and chitchat shittalk n comment💕) and she actually mocked me for calling myself an avs fan and not having seen it. Well then.

It is pretty interesting to watch sitting in 2024. Would the 2001 and 2022 cups have even happened without their star player turned vp then gm then president? Likely not. Pre-salary cap it would've destroyed colorado sports rep with this happening so soon after the nuggets collapse after losing their own star player (the doc explains this). Other star players (1996 cup winners) might've followed out. 2001 avs would've been in a rebuilding stage with five 1st round draft picks (received by nyr if avs hadn't matched the offer sheet) instead of being playoff contenders.

My biggest upset of the doc (beyond having to watch and listen to a bunch of old men at 1x speed) is not👏 enough👏 natemac👏 Truly upsetting. Every avs 2022 cup winning montage it was mostly EJ?? I mean yes ty ty🙏 we miss our horsegirl bring her home (was this a hint by the editor???) Nice nate shot at the parade, but that was at the end! puh.

One dude that was great to listen to was the mayor of denver (sry no not LOC) at the time this big huge beloved guy mayor webb, first black mayor of denver. Love that he understood what needed to be done but refused to be pushed around by the corporate men clamouring for a new arena and was like bish do the taxpayers even want to invest in you? Prove it.

It's not a spectacularly put together doc, has a very film studies student doc project vibe with stock image/ funny movie/reaction gif inserts. Also the worst thing is that they don't give much details on how much they raised from the revenue streams mentioned, so the resolution comes very fast once they mention where they got the money, and it's like what? i was just getting revved up for the climax and offer sheet deadline countdown, how did the climax just pass me by, i am so unsatisfied.

But that's all done on purpose bc that's not the climax at all!!!!!! Which is pretty neat! but like woof. Not as captivating as they might've hoped.

So am i glad i watched it? Yes

Would i watch again? No but i am inspired to watch the avs cup parade again!!

Should you watch it? Strong avs fan-- yes. Hockey doc lover-- yea why not. Casual hockey/entertainment/pop culture fan-- yea it's actually a cool case study of how entertainment/ pop culture/ business reputation works.

Also i want to know if avs players watched it, did they have a movie night at gabe's??

The big shocking spoiler reveal at the end:

if you're gonna watch it, idk treat yo'self, don't mess it up for yourself

harrison ford himself saved joe sakic and I'm not even kidding.

Yes the movie air force one was the big mover n shaker, but it wouldn't have even had a chance if it weren't for harrison speaking his mind to the studio head to change the release date which led off the domino effect

#joe sakic #saving sakic #prime video #colorado avalanche #stanley cup #erik johnson #nathan mackinnon #annieQ hockey thoughts

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mikeylivesattheend · 8 months

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SO I finally read the first Unwind book by Neal Shusterman and wowowowow people were not lying it's so genuinely incredible. Like no joke, even if you read this goofy post read the first book. It's not perfect (looking at you 2007 era feminism) but it's haunting my thoughts. I don't think it will ever fade. And you know the one scene. You know.

What I'm saying is, even after reading (and starting the 2nd book) of this very grounded, fleshed out world, I had to look it up on a03. With Jason Todd 💀💀💀

It doesn't seem to exist so here's some AU ideas/HCs

Note: This is for fun, and I do not know the ending to the series. This post will spoil general plot points of the first and second books.

-Bruce is a moderate on unwinding. He would, of course, never unwind HIS kids but he trusts s c i e n c e and it follows logic

-just for fun, maybe the person who killed his parents was an awol unwind, and hes grateful that person was able to live on in a better form

-bruce wayne has great security, and the family is intense about preventing storked babies. But if a mother does try, they usually send at least 1k to help, and a lot of mothers go to his house to get some financial assistance

- dick traveled a lot, met a lot of different people. I think he met a lot of unwinds, and his parents were pro not murdering teens, but they couldn't house them for more than a day or two. The law pays more attention to transient spaces they can track after all

-all of this to say dick loved meeting and showing off to new people, and doesnt like the cops, and doesnt like that they get so scared. His parents/troupe influenced him a lot but no one has really said any of this aloud to him since he's so young. Hes never feared being unwound, not seriously.

-my ideal fic wouldnt be dick focused, so his character progression might be depressing here.

-he thinks unwinding is immoral, says it feels wrong, doesn't use words like soul. He is passionate about this issue when directly confronted, but he believes temporary help is the best he can provide.

-dick feels secure he wont be unwound for two reasons. Bruce knows hes too capable to be detained by cops. And dick knows that bruce couldn't live with himself if he condemned dick to a divided existence, no matter what his logic says.

-Unwinding is a huge blur of grey for batman in chaotic, unpredictable Gotham. For brucie wayne, clinking champagne glasses with a teenager's hands, complimenting an elderly investors washboard abs, unwinding is a fact of life. But for bruce wayne, the father, the son, unwinding would always be a prolonged muder. Bruce does not ponder those feelings deeply. He does all he can (he doesnt)

-Dick doesn't like that they rat on violent runaways/unwinding awols, but he knows they fill in lower gaps as goons. He hates it at first, and bruce does learn to ignore more. But dick learns the dangers of desperation. He meets nore people who agree with unwinding, tithes, and as he grows into larger scale problems/hero teams, he loses sight of the bigger government issue.

-all this to say, as an adult, dick does what all his parents did in a way (money, hidden spots he knows, advice he's picked up on) but his morals match bruces more than his parents. He thinks that tithing is okay if the kid is 17 and consents, understands that religion is personal, despises the state homes doing it the most (bruce has given so much to those leeches).

-i dont know enough about the teen titans to know how theyd feel, how that would impact dick, if he'd even /have/ the entire team or if some became unwound

-oh my god unrelated note clark as a teen, despite being very loved, was glad he was indestructible. Docs dont use kryptonite

-jason jason jason my boy jason. So yes unwind awols are pretty natural to him, working girls, hes against the process bc he knows a lot of families who do that to kids & he gets it

-in this au he could keep the canon backstory. It still hurts bc he especially feels then he was a burden, storked by one of willis' exes. Or he could be fully storked from the jump. His bio dad is dead, shelia is the only one alive. Bruce is more anti-shelia initially bc she storked him but he knows some people do want to see their kids later in life? This also impacts his early social clout, since storks are looked down on. Maybe especially so where he's a 'real' burden.

-hes a lot more intense than dick abt unwinds, is deeply paranoid bruce will unwind him and has to be reassured bruce would never personally do that. Jason doesnt want to use unwind body parts, but bruce will always choose jays life over his 'moral high ground.'

-honestly most of death with the family will feel the same, the main difference is Jay will have a guilty thought, wonder if it would have been better to let bruce unwind him, if robin should have served everyone (bruce did not threaten this, but kids have been unwound for a whole lot less).

- THE CRUX IS THAT JAY WAKES UP WHOLE BRAIN IN NEW BODY HORRIFIED HEHEHEGED

- this au uses the movie version of utrh with talua stuff, but add in that the brain cannot automatically connect to the body, this is very untested, and it takes like a year to make it work at all. No laz pit, the body is a military buff 16 year old but not excessively violent yaknow

-he still loses it bc "oh my god I was unwound, how did this happen? did bruce do it? no no? he couldnt. i died. where am i? talias oh shit - gotta go fast yeet"

- he goes to gotham, doesn't try to kill bruce but does realize how fucked he is. He can barely open doors, has to think constantly to walk. After moping for a while talia finds him, offers to train him, explains he was meant to be a gift. Jay says he doesnt want to go back to bruce, talia fucked him over, she seems guilty so the training still happens, mainly as an urge to finish what she started, and maybe fulfill that initial goal someday

- im the most torn on this bc i think jason would never want to risk being their guinea pig again.

-he does not kill anyone until its a parts pirate. Talia sent him to increasingly pro unwinding people to force his hand for sure. Either to have a reason to cut him off, or to make their moral worldviews align more.

-Jay is def vaguely suicidal, self disgust. So this is punishment for him + scumbags. It also puts the body to a purposeful use, in honor of the kid.

-body dysmorphia duh btw. After this im extra fuzzy on details for jay

- i want him to be part of the anti divisional group, I want him to be a more community driven hero. But is that really in character for him? How would the unwinding world impact his priorities? Would he operate in gothan as the red hood, work as a human trafficker to save those kids?

- this is also the reason I'm not focusing on characters that come after jason much. His impact would need to be felt in some way in the stories, but I dont know where yet

-i think tim is part of a much, much larger family here and he didnt go to a fancy school. In canon his grades are mid, and even tho his parents love him, he has a lot of competition.

- him being robin makes his life a lot harder. Maybe after jack +janet die the gov actually orders most of the kids to be unwound bc state ho budgets etc. The uncle thing is very legitimately needed lmao

- steph storks her baby yes, but now she's able to keep track of their life in a really unhealthy way.

-i don't know enough about babs to know how she'd feel. I think she might be for it, she might even heal her spine with it. But I'm not sold on that fully

-cass is radically anti unwind. She does go to bruce, but honestly in this au she might leave because he does condone it through his inaction

- the justice league must be pro unwinding for conflict in this world to work, and finding out the reasons for that would be so interesting. Hell maybe the justice league wouldn't really be a thing at all, with such clashing morals.

-and idk how unwind ends so no fuckin clue on resolving the conflict AND adding superheroes

Sorry this was so long, and for at least 5 typos. Please steal my ideas and write a better fic than i can ty 😘😘😘

I'll probably end up adding more jason details to this if/when I find a game plan for jay or finish the unwind dystology

#unwind #neal shusterman #jason todd #batfam #au #random ideas #red hood #unwind dystology #my ideas in this post are in a pretty immature state #but still its facintating #my post

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trashartgalleries · 1 year

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Had to pull out the laptop for this one

I randomly decided to test out the "Help me write" feature on Google docs an it came up with something... decent... I'm honestly shocked.

Rock Lee and Gaara were two of the most unlikely friends in the world. One was a cheerful and energetic Genin from Konohagakure, while the other was a stoic and withdrawn Jinchūriki from Sunagakure. But despite their differences, the two had become close friends over the years.

It all started when they were both assigned to the same team during the Chūnin Exams. At first, they clashed constantly. Lee was always trying to prove himself to Gaara, while Gaara was simply trying to stay out of his way. But as they worked together, they began to understand each other better. They realized that they had more in common than they thought.

Both Lee and Gaara had been ostracized by their peers. Lee because he was unable to use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and Gaara because he was the host of the One-Tailed Shukaku. But despite their challenges, they never gave up on their dreams. Lee was determined to become a great ninja, even without the use of ninjutsu or genjutsu. And Gaara was determined to protect his village and the people he cared about.

As they grew closer, Lee and Gaara became each other's biggest supporters. They pushed each other to be better, and they always had each other's backs. When Lee was struggling, Gaara was there to help him. And when Gaara was feeling lost, Lee was there to guide him.

Through thick and thin, Lee and Gaara remained friends. They were proof that even the most unlikely people can find common ground and become close friends.

One day, Lee and Gaara were training together when they were attacked by a group of bandits. The bandits were no match for the two friends, but they were still able to give them a good fight. After defeating the bandits, Lee and Gaara sat down to rest.

"That was a good fight," Lee said.

"Yes, it was," Gaara agreed. "But I'm glad it's over."

"Me too," Lee said. "But I'm also glad that we were able to work together so well."

"Me too," Gaara said. "You're a good friend, Lee."

"You're a good friend too, Gaara," Lee said.

The two friends smiled at each other, and then they continued their training.

As they trained, Lee and Gaara talked about their dreams for the future. Lee told Gaara that he wanted to become a great ninja, and Gaara told Lee that he wanted to protect his village and the people he cared about.

"I know we can achieve our dreams if we work together," Lee said.

"I know we can too," Gaara agreed.

The two friends continued to train hard, and they eventually achieved their dreams. Lee became a great ninja, and Gaara became a powerful protector of his village.

Lee and Gaara's friendship was a testament to the power of teamwork and perseverance. They were two unlikely friends who came from different worlds, but they were able to overcome their differences and become close friends. They were proof that anything is possible if you have the courage to follow your dreams.

I'm not using this for the fic, I just wanted to share this because 👀

#gaara of the sand #gaalee #gaara x lee #lee x gaara #rock lee #google docs

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mickmundy · 2 years

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i wanted to fill out some of those little relationship question prompt things for bushmedicine! ^v^ so here's part one, and part two you can find here! trying to answer these without spoiling plans for my fic was a little difficult, but i think i managed decently enough for now. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! <3

Who is the most affectionate? Both are equally matched when they’re in private! In public, Medic is definitely more-so than Sniper, but Sniper’s always glad to throw an arm around Medic or hook his finger in one of the straps on Medic’s coat and pull him close! Medic will hold Sniper’s hand, rub or pat his belly (which Sniper will never say no to!) and fidget with anything he can grab onto. They are very touchy-feely!

Big spoon/little spoon? It varies, but Medic loves having Sniper in his arms! Medic lays more on his back than on his side, so he likes laying belly-to-belly with Sniper on top of him. Medic puts one hand in Sniper’s hair and the other on the back of his thigh, just under his butt, to hold him in place! If they’re spooning, Sniper enjoys feeling Medic’s weight and warmth against his back and encourages him to squish him between himself and the mattress!

Most common argument? They really don’t argue much. Both know the other is very capable and trust one another’s judgement; work is stressful enough as it i when you’re a couple of workaholics! Sniper is the pessimist to Medic’s romantic, but they tend to be able to talk things out. Sniper sometimes has trouble communicating but the doc doesn’t mind and is always available to listen and talk when he’s ready!

Favorite non-sexual activity? They have plenty of shared hobbies, including taxidermy, medicine, nonfiction literature, plant husbandry, exotic animal know-how, and of course, their birds! Medic also loves listening to Sniper’s stories about his life as a bounty-and-big-game hunter before he joined MANN CO.! The one where Sniper slept in the corpse of a water buffalo is one of his favorites! They’re both very touchy-feely and love the way each other smells, so they’re also content to just lay in silence together while Sniper reads and Medic goes over his lab notes!

Who is most likely to carry the other? Medic is more likely to scoop Sniper up and jog off with him or give him an excited spin, but Sniper enjoys catching the doctor by surprise with a quick pick-up and carry back to the infirmary or his van! They both cherish one another’s giddy laughter as they’re carried off! Medic picks Sniper up bridal style, but the bushman enjoys tossing the doctor over his shoulder like a bag of bones (which is a pun that Medic quite enjoys)!

What is their favorite features of their partners? Sniper loves Medic’s smile and laugh, despite how shrill it is! He also loves the perfect curl of hair at his forehead, and his breasts and belly! For Medic, it’s very hard to pick: Sniper is his greatest scientific achievement, after all! If he must though, he adores his canine teeth, facial scars, hands, and his breasts and belly too! Both treasure the scars on Sniper’s chest from the operation that brought them together, too!

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? Nothing, really. Being together became so natural that it became all they knew, all they wanted. Actually being together was the easiest part for both of them! The hardest part was realizing and actualizing the feelings that they both carried for one another for so long. Sniper took much longer to realize his than Medic did, but it was worth the wait!

Nicknames? Medic calls Sniper (his) Spatzchen or Spatz, because the face markings of a sparrow remind him of Sniper’s iconic sideburns! He also calls him Krokodil and Liebling/darling. They both love to lay them on pretty thick! Sniper’s petnames of choice for Medic are Dovey, Plover (the little birds that sit in the mouths of crocodiles), Nurse, Death, and Pidge/Pigeon; if they’re alone, he’ll sweeten it up by ending it with a -darling, -sweetness, or so on! They both enjoy how personal their petnames are, too!

Who worries the most? Sniper for sure. Medic is very self-assured and doesn’t really see any need to worry for any reason. He’s certain that if he ever gets in a sticky situation, he can talk (or cut!) his way right out of it. Sniper is much more pessimistic and is definitely the worrier. He believes Medic is one of the most capable members of their team and doesn’t worry about him much in battle thanks to respawn, but he does often worry about him getting enough sleep! Likewise, Medic knows Sniper can sometimes get a little too in his own head, so they do their best to take care of each other in their own roundabout ways!

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Both do, but Sniper often orders because Medic likes to look at the menu and go "ummmmmmmmmmm....!" even if it's somewhere they eat all the time! Sniper thinks its cute though. Both of them are extremely observant by nature so they pick up on what the other likes pretty quickly! They love eating and sharing the food they like. Medic is always eager for Sniper to try his German treats and Sniper always looks forward to being able to cook and grill for Medic! They’ll often collaborate on dinners together, but if they order takeout or go somewhere, they could both very confidently order food for each other!

Who tops? They like switching it up! Medic naturally likes taking initiative and Sniper trusts Medic to lead. Both are invested in each other’s pleasure and like taking their time, riling the other up until they beg! Sniper likes feeling Medic’s weight on top of him and Medic thinks it’s very amusing that Sniper’s legs go weak so easily; he always loves pleasing his touch-starved Aussie! Once they’re together, their sex drives are through the roof. They can’t get enough!

Who initiates kisses? Medic! He pushes his face against Sniper’s when they kiss (especially when it’s just a quick chaste goodbye kiss before they go onto the field!) so their glasses gently knock together and their noses push together… and it takes Sniper’s breath away every time! Medic also loves to grab Sniper’s face and give him a tooth smile just after he pulls away… sometimes he’ll even bite the tip of Sniper’s nose and they share a devious giggle!

Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Sniper… he’s typically much more discreet about pda than Medic is but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it! Medic is always moving his hands though (super expressive!), so instead of grabbing for his hand he’s content to hook his finger in one of medic’s beltloops, in his pants/belt, in one of his satchels, etc! If he’s feeling particularly bold, he’ll give them a tug and pull Medic right into his arms or his lap!

Who kisses the hardest? Sniper. When they first start dating he always starts kisses in a rush, pressing his mouth hard against Medic’s, before Medic gently pulls back and grins at him, lets him know there is no rush dummkopf! Sniper gives him a sheepish smile… and they both lean in again, slower, and Sniper’s content to let Medic lead the kiss and just melts against him…

Who wakes up first? Sniper. Old habit to rise with the sun, likes waking up and having ample time to do his morning routines. He puts on the coffeemaker (while Medic is still fast asleep in his van’s loft bed of course!) and brushes his teeth and starts on breakfast. Before Medic, he didn’t typically eat breakfast at all (cup of coffee suffices just fine, he swears), but the doctor can be very persuasive! He’ll feed Sniper a few bites off of his plate and eventually coaxes him into having a little more than just a cup of coffee!

#bushmedicine #tf2 #sniper #medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #dutchfoolery #dutchiehcs #medsnip

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askthechronoverse · 1 year

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Chapter Ten: When Can We Do This Again?

Last Chapter •||• end

The morning started out normal enough. The group of friends ate breakfast together, but the chatting had stopped this time. The other friends looked to Unikitty for news.

"Here, Doc. He said it's almost over." She said this quietly. "He knows we won't remember him, but he seems fine with it. Like he took that a little too well."

"He does seem to be the kind of person to just go with the flow." Doctor Fox shrugged. "Let's all go this time. It'll make things faster and he could probably use our assistance." The group went to the lab and grabbed what remained on the list. They got to Rex's house with time to spare in the loop.

"Princess. I wasn't expectin' a party. I would have showered before you came." He laughed, gesturing to himself. He was covered in dirt and oil.

"You weren't going to leave without letting us say goodbye, Rex. That would be rude of all of us." Richard said factually.

"Yeah, glad I didn't have to do that." He led the group to his workshop, where Puppycorn was chewing on the boot Rex had in the tree earlier. "Alright. Say your goodbyes now, 'cuz I gotta get back to work." He ruffled Puppycorn's ears.

"Goodbye?" Puppycorn stopped chewing the boot.

"Yeah, kid." He crouched down to be face to face with the puppy, who was lying on the floor. "I have to go somewhere far away to fix things."

"You'll come back, right?" The puppy questioned, head tilted.

"Yeah. I told your sister I would be back as soon as I could. Things'll be a little different, but I have a feeling we'll always be friends." He gave the little dog a hug, hiding his tears from the puppy in the process.

"I will miss our conversations about temporal travel, Rex." Doctor Fox said, holding out her paw. Rex shook it, grinning.

"You're the only one who got any of it, Doc. Hope you could still use a chrononaut in the future." He rubbed his face with his other hand. An exclamation mark appeared above Rex's head as Hawkodile grabbed him and roughly ruffled his hair.

"Ya gotta teach me that punch next time, bro!" Hawkodile let Rex go, clearing his throat.

"Only if you teach me some sweet bodyguard moves, big guy. I gotta keep up with you, after all!" He turned to Richard. "Bye, Rick. Hope ya get a vacation or somethin'." He turned his attention to his work. "Make yourselves at home. I still need to finish and install the time drive. Stay in the house. I don't want you to be caught in a loop." He put some headphones on his head and turned on some music. Unikitty wanted to talk to him more and approached the man, but she just sat next to him, letting him pet her every so often.

After some time in silence, Rex held his time drive in his hands. He gestured for Unikitty to help him install it to his ship.

"Rex. Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked quietly.

"No. I don't want to. But, I have to. I'm the only one who can." He gently placed the time drive in the chassis of the ship. "I did some terrible things, Unikitty. But your friends accepted me. You took me in. I'm grateful to this kingdom and I need to keep it safe." He crawled under the ship and finished securing the drive. "I should have some clothes in a box on the workbench. Get them and put 'em in the ship."

Unikitty grabbed the clothes and saw that, right on the top, was his dark safety vest. She sighed and put it in the back of the ship. "You seem to be committed to this."

"Yeah. Gotta keep the timeline as close to how we started as possible." He got out from under the ship and wiped his face with a towel he grabbed off the floor. "I need to get this right in one take." He walked off and returned in a blue spacesuit with green accents with a blue jetpack strapped to his back. He held a helmet under his arm that matched it. Unikitty watched him put the helmet on.

"Wait, what about the Rexcelsior?" She asked suddenly. "What about your raptor crew?"

"Guess I gotta take a few pit stops." He laughed. "Time for round two." He hopped in the ship and waved to Unikitty. "Keep running to the future, Unikitty. The past can be so boring." The ship headed off into the sky and was gone before she could say anything else. The cat just stared at the spot Rex's small ship previously occupied. The others rushed into the room to see what happened.

"What happens now, Doctor Fox?" Unikitty asked, taking time to find the words.

"Rex goes back in time and the timeline resets once the nexus point is fixed." Doctor Fox replied, watching the ship's smoke trail slowly disappear from the sky.

—

When night fell on the Unikingdom, it didn't actually hit that hard. The lights of the Princess's main city were too bright and too dominant to make nighttime have any weight. It was one of the things that made the people there feel safe, what drove people to move from the other Systarian planets and even the main hub of Syspocalypstar, despite the destruction occasionally wrought by the Princess and her friends and the close proximity to the oppressive feeling Frowntown. The cat and her brother were walking past the blueberry bushes in the garden, when something white caught her eye. She picked it up and saw it was a photograph, something that came from an instant camera. The photo was of her and her brother in front of the castle waterfall, posing with a tired looking man with shoulder length brown hair and stubble. He wore a vest with a lime green R emblazoned on it. The three of them looked happy, like they were best friends. She had never seen the man before, so it made no sense. She looked at the bottom of the picture and saw a note written in handwriting that reminded her of someone she was friends with.

We'll meet again soon, Princess Unikitty.

Rex.

#the newspaper isn't antiquated •||• written works

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afterglow-tommylee · 2 years

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Chapter 25. Show The World A Brand New Face

San Fernando Valley California, July 20 2002

After the interview was finished and the photo shoot underway, I stand off to the side using my Blackberry to send some emails as usual and glance up every once and a while to see Tommy posing as the camera flashes.

I remember when I used to go on photo shoots with Soundgarden and just how hilarious it was to see them just play around acting silly while the photographer would capture photos. Then usually what would happen is that they would want to take some photos of Chris just by himself which at first he didn't mind, but once the photographer suggested he take off his shirt, he would get uncomfortable with it. He'd do it anyways but then he would complain to me the entire time about how 'It should be about the music and not what I look like. Who cares if I have a chest?'

Tommy on the other hand is just having fun with it. He totally plays it up and of course always first and foremost it is about the music, but you can tell he just has so much fun with it.

"Mrs Lee?" one of David's assistants walks over to me

"Um... oh no please call me Andi," I say sweetly with a chuckle.

"Andi, sorry, um... would you want to have some photos taken? I mean you're in the article too, so David was mentioning to me that he would like to take some photos of you, either by yourself or with your husband, or both," She says.

"Me? Uh..." I hesitate and look over at the photo shoot that was still taking place. "Ok sure, maybe... but I didn't exactly wear anything that would be photo shoot material," I add glancing down at myself.

"Oh don't worry, we got you covered, come with me," She smiles and gestures for me to follow her. I glance back at Tommy and I see him subtly wink at me and I shrug, and follow her to the back of the studio, behind a curtain where all of the clothing was stored.

"So... we have everything you need here. You can choose anything you want. You can even have a few different looks if you want to. Then uh, once you've picked out whatever, you can head over to Molly and she'll do up your makeup and hair," She says.

"Ok, um... thank you," I say nervously. As she walks away, I flip through some of the designer clothes trying to find something that would at least go with what Tommy was wearing. Like not matching him of course, but the same vibe with his jeans and white fitted tank and leather jacket if you know what I mean.

I decided to stick with my own ripped low rise bootleg cut jeans over my Doc Marten boots with my silver studded belt, and pick out a plain black form fitted tank top, much like I would have at home and change into it. As I pulled it down over me, I half tucked it into the front of my jeans as it was a bit longer than I expected but hugged me perfectly everywhere else and also showed off my cleavage perfectly if I do say so myself. Once I check myself in the floor length mirror that they have set up, I make my way over to get my hair and makeup done.

***

"Ok, hi Andi, I'm glad you decided to take some photos with me" David smiles as he holds the camera in his hand. He just emitted this coolness about him and even though I was so fucking nervous, he did actually make me feel comfortable.

"Uh, sure... but I should say I've never, ever done this before," I tell him shyly, flipping my now dark smoothed waves out of my face. The way Molly did my hair was amazing, I never knew it could look so - well photo shoot worthy.

"No way, come on really?" He smiles at me again.

"Yea really," I giggle.

"Well don't worry, just relax and just have fun alright? um ok we'll get Tommy to come back over here..." He gestures for Tommy to come over as he empties his camera, hands the roll to one of his assistants, then she hands him a new film roll and he pops it back into the camera. Tommy then appears beside me, leaning into me and placing his lips to my temple whispering "You look so fuckin' hot baby,"

"... and we'll get you two to um.. stand, or really... ok we'll have Tommy sit here and then you can either sit with him or whatever you feel like and we'll take a few shots ok?" David says as he leads us over to an area of the studio beside a large bay window letting as much natural lighting inside with an old vintage type chair. Tommy eagerly sits down and looks up at me, his leather jacket he has long ditched away while David walks back to his position to take our photos.

"C'mon babe, plant that cute ass right here," He smiles that charming smile at me patting his lap and I shake my head at him with a giggle.

He is such a dork sometimes.

"Whenever you two are ready, y'know..." David says from behind the camera and I could really feel my anxiousness rising. I timidly sit down on Tommy's lap, feeling completely nervous as he wraps his arms around me.

"You ok baby?" He asks.

"Uh, I don't know," I say nervously as I hear the camera click. I had no idea what to do, I didn't know how to sit, which way to turn or anything. I was so completely out of my element and it was pretty scary.

"Andi, just relax... just be like you two are normally. Pretend I'm not here," David says as he continues to snap pictures.

"How we are normally? Um I don't know, do you want me to piss her off?" Tommy jokes.

"Hey!" I laugh and smack him playfully on his chest and he laughs.

"That's awesome... ok, Andi maybe if you uh, straddle him like... here," David stops for a moment and comes over to suggest a different way to sit on Tommy's lap and I couldn't help but giggle in nervousness as Tommy looks up at me raising his eyebrow while I change my position and I know exactly what he is thinking. I make myself comfortable trying to hold in my laughter and just as David walks away again Tommy jerks his hips which makes me bounce, then he laughs.

"You are such a 12 year old," I laugh.

"12? This morning I was 2," He smiles and I laugh.

"Ok, you need to stop making me laugh," I giggle as Tommy laughs again.

As I try to make myself calm, struggling so hard not to laugh, David gives me more direction as to how we should be. Trying to be myself is the hardest thing when someone is watching me. I feel so on the spot. I wish I had a couple of shots of Jack or something so I could relax a little more.

After a few moments, my laughter subsides and Tommy places his hands on my hips. I couldn't help but smirk at him shyly, still completely feeling out of my element.

"It's just me and you baby. Don't even think about the camera. It's just me and you," He says so sweetly looking into my eyes, reaching up and brushing a few waves from my face. I have no idea if it was the words he said or how he looked at me, but I suddenly didn't even hear the camera anymore.

He glances down over my body as my eyes remain focused on him, then I slowly close my eyes and feel him lean into me, his forehead touching mine and it was like everyone in the room had left and it was only me and him together. I then ever so slightly feel his lips brush mine and it was all I could do to contain myself. I bite my bottom lip to try and stifle the fact that I wanted him so bad as his hands move from my hips, up my sides and around to my back. I place my hands on his chest and I could feel his heart beating and as I move to rest my forearms on his shoulders he pulls me closer, his hands stroking my back feeling so amazing as his forehead still touches mine.

Then just as I thread my fingers through his locks and brush my lips across his I hear David say "Ok you two, I uh... think we got it," and I flick my eyes open as we pull away from each other and I drop my hands from his hair.

"Holy shit," Tommy breathes.

"Uh yea," I say, still feeling dazed and still in the moment, like he somehow cast a spell over me.

"That was amazing guys, like wow... ok uh Andi, if you still want to do some solo shots which I highly recommend you do, we can do that now," David says.

"Uh ok," I say, still dazed somehow as Tommy and I look at each other, us both wondering what the hell just happened. Tommy and I have like, made out countless times like teenagers before, but somehow that was on a whole other level.

"Um, are the solo shots going to be part of the um... article?" I ask David as I am still sitting on Tommy's lap feeling him take my left hand and placing sweet kisses to my palm.

"Some of them will be submitted but it's really just for you, just for fun. So... if you want to come over here, we'll uh take some more shots," he says and gestures to an area with a blueish grey backdrop and tons of studio lights. As I am about to lift myself off Tommy's lap, his expression shows that he doesn't want me to go yet and he holds me to him for a few minutes.

"Are you ok?" I ask with a giggle.

"I will be," He says, clearing his throat and continuing to place kisses to the palm of my hand. I then realize what he meant and I smirk.

"Do you have a - ?"

"Shhhh," He hushes me and I giggle.

***

"Do you want me to be over here? Or...?" I ask, feeling my nerves creeping up again as I stand in front of the blue-grey backdrop, with the brightest studio lights pointed at me.

"Whatever you like, you just do whatever and I'll capture it," David smiles at me and for some reason I felt like I couldn't move. It was one thing when Tommy was right here with me but this is really not me at all.

I've never had the desire to be a model or have my picture taken. Most of the photos that are taken of me were always by friends without me knowing. I never even thought that anyone would want to take photos of me.

"Ok... um... I have no idea what to do," I laugh as I stand gently swaying back and forth with nervousness, and I glance at Tommy who was standing off to the side puffing away on a cigarette.

"Like I said, just do whatever, just be you," David says.

"Just be me... ok. Just be me..." I say quietly as I look down at myself, not knowing where to put my hands. I then hook my thumbs into the loops of my jeans trying to think of how I could 'pose' and I hear the camera begin to take shots of me.

It was like something changed, I was still so nervous but I suddenly started to become comfortable with it. As the camera flashed more shots, I was just me, I didn't try to pose or anything I just let myself feel confident and secure. David would come up really close which would make me laugh and I would glance at Tommy and he just had this incredible smile spread across his face and he would mouth to me 'I fuckin' love you' which would make me laugh and feel so beautiful inside. To think of all I've been through, I finally feel like I am beautiful and strong and right where I'm supposed to be.

***

A few weeks later when I had finally got the proofed photos in the mail, along with the envelope with the magazine inside, I opened it up and pulled out a folder and set it down on my desk, then I pull out the magazine with Tommy on the cover. He looked so freaking cool.

I quickly flip to the article and see the photos that were taken that day. He looked so handsome and so damn sexy in each of them. It was amazing. There were also 2 photos that were taken of me and him alongside the part of the article with me, us both laughing together on that chair which was so freaking cute. I then set the magazine down and I open up the folder and inside was a note from David Studarus.

To Mrs Lee,

Here are the photos that I hope find you well, and believe me when I say, you are a definite natural. I hope I have the honor to photograph you again.

Anytime, Anywhere

-David

I set the note aside and pull out the photos from the folder. It was every single take from that day. The fun ones, the silly ones, the ones of me and Tommy on that chair by the window that captured the pure intense passion and love between us and of course, the ones of just me, the wind blowing through my waves, the light hitting just perfectly, barely recognizing myself. I never knew anyone could see me this way. That I could see myself this way.

"Babe?" I call out but Tommy of course can't hear me since he is in his studio. "Baby, you gotta see these!" I yell excitedly as I run out of my office to show him.

#tommy lee fanfic #tommy lee #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction

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exanimateisacomic · 4 months

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Luis and Eliza were relaxing in their bedroom when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Reuben? Is that you?” Eliza asked

“Uh, n-no it is not…” A voice said

Luis lept out of bed and beelined straight to the door, opening it quickly

The demon flinched back at the sudden opening and looked at Luis “so it-it happened again. I woke up in the bed again.” He said ashamedly

Luis checked the hallway and ushered him into their bedroom “come in, we can talk here.” He closed the door behind him

The demon looked around before seeing Eliza in bed. “oh, g-good evening mrs. Lynch.”

Eliza nodded “good evening.” She took off her readers and set her book down “how are you feeling?”

The demon rested his hands together “uh, I-i am okay.” He glanced away in a bashful manner. “A-are we gonna go to the club so I may clean it up?”

Eliza paused. “well, I’ve actually had a crew out there earlier today to do most of the cleanup. There isn’t much left to clean up”

“Oh, I see.” The demon said “s-sorry I was not around sooner.”

“It’s fine” she said “I’m sure I’ll have something else lined up for you to do, if you’re still inclined to do so.”

The demon looked at her “y-yes I am. Just tell me what you need done and I can do it.” He said, almost maniacally.

Luis rested a hand in his back to ease him down “hey. So.. you know, we’ve talked with Seth about seeing a doctor. And his office is open late. We could get you looked at!”

The demon looked at Luis “d-do you think that is a good idea?”

Luis nodded “yes, we’d get a better idea of how you work and who you are.”

The demon nodded.

“Doctor Soderbergh, you have a walk in appointment.”

The doctor set down the file he was reading and clicked on his intercom “who’s the patient?”

“A young man suffering from demonic possession and Mr. lynch.”

“Send them in” he said, releasing the button and set his files aside.

Luis entered first, followed by a young man in a hoodie hunching forward and keeping his head low.

“Hey doc, glad I caught you tonight. I brought that demon I told you about.” Luis said, patting his buddy’s back.

The demon looked up, his eyes cutting through his dark hood. “Hello d-doctor. I was told you could help me.”

Dr. Soderbergh got up and made his way over to the demon. He was an older man, a bit older than Luis looked but in much better health. His skin was a faded red and his horns had a more grey hue. He observed the lopsided horns as he began his check up.

“Okay then, what’s your name?” He asked taking a pen light and checking the demon’s pupil response.

“Um…that- that I do not know.” The demon responded, flinching as the light shines in his eyes “I just- uh- Luis? Could you explain it?”

Luis nodded “this body belongs to Seth Morris, and his inner demon took over not long after he arrived here.”

Soderbergh nodded as he finished inspecting the demons eyes “I thought inner demons were a lot more feral?” He clicked off his pen light “could you lower your hood please?”

Luis continued “well, that’s the puzzling thing. His inner demon is more feral, whoever this is isn’t that demon.”

Dr Soderbergh looked at Luis “what do you mean?”

Luis shrugged “I’m not sure how, my hypothesis is that, somehow, there’s another soul in this body that can override the inner demons control and posses the body himself.”

The doctor stared at him “that’s- unusual.” He turned back to look at the demon, now being able to see his whole face. “Huh. His face structure does match that of inner demonic possession but the eyes…”

The demon looked worried “my eyes?”

Dr Soderbergh continued “you have actual pupils and irises.” He went over to his shelf and picked out a book, flipping through and finding the page on demons. “Here, this is a typical inner demon possessing a damned soul”

The demon looked on at the illustration in the book, seeing a monstrous face with milky white eyes and a large monstrous snarl.

The demon ran his hand over his mouth “do-do I really look like that?”

The doctor paused “y-yes. You do. Here” he showed the demon over to a mirror on the wall.

The demon jolted upright at the sight of himself “oh! Oh…t-that is my face?” He asked as he raised his hand to inspect his face, feeling around his eyes and bare nostrils.

The doctor turned to Luis “has he not seen himself before?” Luis shrugged.

“He’s only been in control a few times…” he paused in thought “and seemingly when Seth falls unconscious.”

The doctor gave Luis a look, and luis returning a similar look “nocturnal Possesion?” They said in unison.

“That would account for his sparse appearances.” Luis said

The doctor shook his head “but not the apperance of another soul.”

The demon snapped out of its stare from the mirror “w-wait, what is Nocturnal Possession?”

The doctor looked to the demon “oh well, it’s a term us demons use to describe the phenomena when a demon autonomously takes control of the host’s body when the host is unconcious. In your case, Seth falls asleep and you take over.”

The demon nodded “ah, okay. I guess that makes sense.” He lowered his hand and rested them in his pockets. “B-but what about my control over this body?”

The doctor gave him a stern look. “Well, what is your environment like at home?”

Luis answered “quiet, calm, a bit isolated.”

“And the times when the inner demon was more feral?”

Luis made a connection “those times were in more strenuous, high stress situations.”

The demon perked up “s-so when I am at your home, I can be me? And-and not-“ he glanced back at the book in his hands “not this thing?”

Luis nodded “I guess. I’d want that notarized for the missus.” He said to the doctor “she’s gonna want an official statement instead of my word.”

“Of course.” The doctor said walking back to his desk. “Oh and I’ll give her Reuben’s prescription as well, he must be running out of his current batch”

The demon closed the book and sat down on a nearby seat.

Luis walked over to him and gave him a shoulder pay “hey, you okay?”

The demon looked up at him “uh, I-i am okay.” He looked at the book in his hands. “I just did not realize how m-monstrous the inner demon was.”

Luis rubbed his shoulder “well, you’re not him. And I’m sure we’ll find out who you are soon.”

The demon got up and put the book back on the shelf

The doctor stopped him, jumping from his seat. “hey wait!”

He rested a hand on his arm, stopping the demon from putting the book back. “I’m very meticulous with how my books are on that shelf.”

The demon stopped. “But- but this is where it was?”

The doctor paused and looked at where the demon was putting the book. “Wh- uh. Oh.” He let go of the demon. “You- you saw where I took the book?”

The demon nodded. “I notice a lot of things. Your office is quite neat and you keep a stern posture, yet when Luis came in your posture changed and you seemed to relax a bit, you have a slight slouch now.”

The doctor straightened up, clearing his throat “well me and Luis do go way back, a couple of hellraisers back in the day”

The demon nodded “I figured.” The demon blinked “why-why was I able to go in depth like that? I don’t-“

“That’s Seth.” Luis said “Seth was someone with sharp observation and deduction skills. W- Doctor, because of the unusual nature of this arrangement, would it be possible for this demon-“ he paused “I’m sorry, I’d call you by your name but-“

The demon nodded “it is fine, continue.”

Luis nodded “would it be possible that he could be getting information and behaviors from Seth?”

The doctor paused “well, we did do some experiments into possession studies… I do recall some talk about shared information between the demon and the host…but if that’s true, then your friend here is one of the few successful cases.” He went back to his desk and picked up his note.

#exanimate story idea #luis lynch #levi morris #eliza lynch #personal project

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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 years

Text

Tomorrow ~ Part 6

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 2,325ish

Summary: You’re finally awake and Steve is so grateful.

Warnings: slight angst

< previous part

“This is going to feel uncomfortable, Y/N,” the doctor warned. “But I just need you to keep breathing out, okay?”

You gave a slight nod as the doctor gently grabbed the tube entering your mouth and going down your throat. Steve was still laying in his own bed beside you, holding your hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze to remind you that he was right there. The rest of the team was outside the room, watching through the windows.

“Alright, let’s do this,” the doctor said.

You began breathing out as the doctor slowly pulled the tube. You tried to hold by the coughs but failed. Steve squeezed your hand.

“We’re almost there,” the doctor said. “Keep breathing out.”

You did as directed, still coughing, until, finally, the tube was out. You went into a full blow coughing fit then. Steve tried to move closer to help you but Bucky hurried into the room to push him back down.

“Here,” Bruce offered, rushing in with a cup of water. “Drink.”

Bruce held the cup up to you and guided the straw into your mouth. It was hard at first to suck the water down, but it almost immediately relieved you.

“Thanks,” you rasped.

“Y/N,” the doctor grabbed your attention. “You’re quite the fighter.” You gave them a slight smile before the doctor began explaining your injuries and how they had fixed them. “As you may have noticed, you can’t feel past your hips,” the doctor said, having finished explaining everything else. “Your knee is still shattered and we were waiting to get everything else taken care of before we dealt with it.”

“How will you deal with it?”

“Tony and Princess Shuri have been in contact and have a few replacement options.”

“Yes,” Tony agreed as he wheeled himself in. “She’s coming in a few days so that we can go over the options together.”

“What happened to you?” You turned to Steve. “What happened to both of you?”

“The doc might have left something out,” Steve said shyly. “Your liver transplant… I was the donor.”

“Steve,” you gasped. “You shouldn’t have—“

“I was the perfect match and with the super-soldier serum, I would heal quickly.”

“I still don’t like it.” You turned then to Tony. “And you?”

“Mine’s not as heroic,” Tony replied. “I may have had… well… it wasn’t anything major—”

“He had a heart attack,” Steve stated.

“A heart attack?!” You repeated. “Tony!”

“I’m fine. I’m resting,” he replied, quickly trying to soothe your worries. “I’ve been actually following doctor’s orders.”

“Only because Pepper’s been on you like a hawk,” Bruce muttered, earning a glare from Tony.

“He is doing better,” the doctor confirmed. “Both Tony and Steve are on the mend. You will unfortunately not be healed as fast as them, having sustained so many injuries.”

You nodded. “I understand.”

“For now, the most important thing for you to do is rest. Myself and the nurses will be in and out to frequently check on you.”

“Thank you, doc.”

“Of course. I would suggest that everyone leave the room. Both need rest and, perhaps, some time alone.” The doctor gave a teasing grin before leaving.

“We’ll be back with food in a few hours,” Bruce said, grabbing the handles of Tony’s wheelchair.

“I’m glad that you’re alive, kid,” Tony said as he was pushed out of the room. Bruce shut the door behind them.

The room was silent besides the quiet hum of the machines and you and Steve’s breaths. Steve was still holding your hand, running his thumb along the back of it.

“Steve,” you quietly called, unable to look at him.

“Yes?” He responded.

“How bad was it?” Steve inhaled sharply, images of your bleeding body in his arms. “You can tell me… I know that it must have been pretty bad because Tony’s eyes seem haunted. And you… you have large, purple rings under your eyes and you won’t let my hand go.”

“Sorry.” Steve quickly let go of your hand only for you to grab it again.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It just scares me… Tell me… how bad was it.”

Steve took an unsteady breath in as he prepared himself to share small glimpses into what you’d been through. What the team had been through while waiting for you to wake. He wasn’t going to share everything yet, too worried that any wrong word would somehow backtrack your progress.

“You coded,” he carefully whispered, looking down at your intertwined hands. “At least twice that I know of… the first time was the worst… you were on the jet back to the Tower. Bucky and I had stayed behind. I… I couldn’t—“

You gave his hand a light squeeze. “I get it,” you whispered.

“You were 15 minutes out from here and Tony had to give you CPR.” Your eyes closed, tearing up at the thought of your best friend trying to save your life. “There was another time in surgery… Wanda apparently couldn’t feel you anymore. It was at the same time that Tony was rushed into surgery.”

“I…” You opened your eyes but they were glazed over like you were stuck in your own mind. “I remember… I could feel him…” Steve watched you carefully. “I could feel him after this light.” You chuckled lightly. “It sounds so cheesy, but it’s true… and so then I realized that I needed to fight harder… I need to survive. I couldn’t let Rumlow have that satisfaction of…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence. “Tell me, Steve… is he—“

“He’s dead. He won’t ever be able to hurt anyone again.”

Leaning back, you closed your eyes and let the tears slip down your cheeks. You stayed still as Steve slowly sat up and got out of bed. Carefully, he laid on his side next to you. To anyone that may have been watching the scene or walked by, they may have laughed at the super-soldier trying to squeeze next to you in bed. But to you and him, it meant everything. Due to your injuries and the meds, you couldn’t really move and Steve understood that. So he carefully put an arm under you and over you, before pulling you into him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, lips against your ear. “You’re safe.” You started to cry harder. Steve didn’t bother trying to shush you, knowing that you needed to get it out. “It’s okay… I’m right here… let it all out…”

~~~

The next time the doctor came by, you were asleep in Steve’s arms. Steve’s eyes were closed but he was awake, just taking in the fact that you were alive and in his arms. The doctor came closer to check the machines which caused Steve to open his eyes.

“How is she?” The doctor whispered.

“She’s hanging in there,” Steve responded.

“It’s going to be a long road to healing, both mentally and physically. And something’s… well, something’s will never fully heal.”

Steve held you closer. “I know.”

“Everything is looking okay for right now. I’ll be back in another few hours to check again.”

“Thank you.”

The doctor smiled before slipping out of the room. Steve watched you with love and care. He was pressing a kiss to your forehead when he felt you twitch. His brows furrowed as he pulled back to look at you. Your top half twitched again, given the bottom half of your body was still numb.

“Sweetheart?” He whispered, carefully cupping your cheek.

You twitched again only this time a whimper slipped out. Steve was immediately on alert. He sat up straighter but remained close to you.

“Hey, sweetheart, you’re okay,” he said softly. “Wake up. It’s not real.”

You let out another whimper and Steve felt like he was going to cry. He hated that sound and would do anything to stop it.

“Come on, doll, just wake up.” You let out a cry. “Wake up, Y/N.”

Wanda came rushing in with Vision on her tail. “Keep calling to her, Steve,” she ordered as she stopped near your head. “I’m going to pull her out of it.” Wanda’s eyes glowed as her hands came up to hover above your head.

“Sweetheart,” Steve called. “Wake up, come back to us.” Wanda’s red tendrils hit your head and you let out a louder cry, sweat forming along your brow. Steve gripped your hand close to his heart as he tried to not get too emotional. “It’s not real. Your safe.”

“Vis,” Wanda breathed out. The android came over and rested his hands on your head as well.

“Come on, Y/N. Come back to me.”

“What’s going on in here?” Tony asked as Pepper wheeled him into the room, bags of food in his lap.

“She fell asleep and—and then she just wouldn’t wake up.”

“Her mind as looked her in her nightmare,” Wanda explained, still focused on helping you. “I could feel her from the common floor so Vis and I rushed down here.”

You let out another cry as tears slipped through your clenched eyes. The heart rate monitor began beeping faster.

“Well, what’s the hold-up?” Tony asked, worry lacing every bit of his tone. “Why haven’t you brought her out of it yet?”

“Tony,” Pepper scolded quietly.

“I’m trying,” Wanda said, her tone telling everyone that they were being warned if they were to ask again.

“Y/N is buried deep in her own subconscious,” Vision stated, trying to help the others understand. “It is an incredibly hard place to reach when you aren’t welcome.”

“Is there any way to send someone else in there after her?” Steve asked, his eyes never leaving your face. “Someone that she might be more open to?”

Wanda looked at Steve. “Yes, but…” She was hesitant to tell him what she was seeing in your mind. “Steve, it’s hard in here.”

“I can handle it. She shouldn’t be reliving everything again.”

Wanda and Vision shared a look before Wanda held out her glowing hand to Steve. “Keep a hold of Y/N’s hand, but your other hand needs to be in mine.” Steve quickly did as he was told. “Now, brace yourself. It will be hard in there.”

“I’m ready.”

“Close your eyes and Vision and I will guide you in.”

Steve nodded as he closed his eyes. He inhaled sharply as Wanda entered his mind and connected him to you. When he opened them again, he was in that awful room he had found you in. He shivered as the cool breeze flowed through the open door.

“Y/N!” He called out, looking around the room for you. “Y/N!”

Steve’s eyes found a puddle of blood on the floor and bloody footprints leading from it, heading out the door. Slowly, he began to follow them.

“Steve,” Wanda called, appearing next to him.

“Shit, Wanda!” Steve exclaimed, jumping away. “You can’t do that.”

“Sorry.”

“I thought you said we couldn’t reach this?”

“You are apparently welcomed here, I slipped in after you to see if I can be of any assistance.” The two kept following the bloody prints.

“I thought you said that it was hard in here? I was expecting…” He couldn’t even verbalize his fears.

“It was. The moment you entered her subconscious, the torture stopped.”

“Explaining the blood… Can you sense her?”

Wanda stopped and closed her eyes. “Yes. She’s… terrified… injured… she wants to escape but can’t find a way out.”

“Let’s move faster.”

The two hurried through the halls, following the bloody footprints until they reached a door. They eyed each other wearily before Steve carefully opened the door. They both bit back a gasp at the sight of you bloody, bruised, and naked, trembling in a corner. You stayed tucked away in the corner, too scared to turn around and face whoever was entering the room.

“Y/N,” Steve said, carefully taking a step in your different. “It’s me.”

“Steve?” You croaked, still not moving to turn around.

“It’s me, sweetheart.” He took another two steps. “Can you turn around?” You shook your head. “That’s alright. Can I come closer to you?”

“…tomorrow…”

Steve was confused, sending a questioning look Wanda’s way. She shook her head, not knowing what was going on.

“I kept thinking that you’d come tomorrow,” you continued. “And then tomorrow kept coming and I… I…”

“I never stopped looking for you, Y/N,” Steve said, heartbreaking. “I… I went rouge…”

You turned your head to face him. “You what?”

“I went rogue. I didn’t like how slow everything was happening and was convinced that I could get to you faster by myself.”

“That explains the beard.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll shave it off as soon as we’re out of here.”

“No.” You shook your head, turning around to face him more. Wanda could see that you were trying to keep some modesty and used her powers to form clothes around you. Your hand came up to cup Steve’s face. “Don’t get rid of it… I like it.”

Steve leaned into your hand. “I wish that I could have stopped this from happening, sweetheart… I wish that I could have saved you sooner.” Tears crawled down Steve’s cheeks and yours. “I am so sorry.”

“I wish you could have too… but… thank you for saving me when you did.”

“I’ll come for you, sweetheart, every time.”

“I know.” You rubbed your thumb against his cheek. “Do you… do you think… I know that I’m stuck in bed for a long while, but do you think that we could do lunch or dinner soon?”

Steve chuckled softly. “I do owe you a date, don’t I?” One of his hands came up to your cheek to mirror yours. “Tomorrow, alright?”

“You promise?”

He leaned in and kissed you softly, tugging at your lip slightly as he pulled away. “I promise.”

next part >

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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years

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Oh my god i just found you're writing and I'm obssessed. First of all, I'm in love with your edgy!karl series. Seriously, it's amazing. Second of all, I had a little idea that you can take as a request if you'd like. I was thinking edgy!dream/clay but with a shy innocent girl. And a hint of some fear play kink? Like she's all cute and he's so edgy shes scared and intimidated by him when they meet and it turns him on knowing shes both scared of him AND attracted to him at the same time so he uses it against her(consensually of course)

can we call him alt!dream? ;) also,,, i rly like this request...

𝐉𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒. ♘ 𝐚𝐥𝐭!𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 (𝟏𝟖+)

pairing: alt!Dreamwastaken x fm!reader

warnings: smut (18+), fighting, smoking, language, oral (fm. receiving), fear play, asphyxiation, sight size kink & praise, dominance

The movie theatre dimmed, the beginning credits of the film reeling as a montage of a city played in the background. You settled back in your seat, accepting the fact that you had been stood up, determined not to let it ruin the movie you had already paid for. That’s right; instead of treating yourself to a new pair of shoes or a set of notebooks, you agreed to meet up with a sleazy guy from class after weeks of him pleading.

You sighed slightly, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you realized you hadn’t even wanted to see the film and had only agreed because he suggested it. Someone moved into a seat near you, his legs stretching as he slumped down, purely due to his towering height. You stiffened, crossing your legs to inch away from him at the sight of his various tattoos peeking out from beneath his dark corduroy jacket.

He carded a hand through his dirty blond hair, revealing an eyebrow ring as he swept his bangs off his forehead momentarily. You tore your eyes from him as you noticed the cigarette balanced behind his ear. Even with the seat between the two, you could smell the smoke on his clothes mixing with the faintest hint of vanilla.

You folded your hands in your lap as you noticed him give you a once over. He reached towards you, making you flinch slightly before you realized he was holding out his bag of candy to you. “Want a jellybean? You look upset,” he motioned, voice low as he whispered.

You shook your head quickly, muttering a thank you and playing with your fingers. He shrugged, watching you for a second more before turning back to the movie. He tucked his arm behind his head, chewing on his lip as if debating whether he should keep talking to you or just let you be. You weren’t really sure which outcome you preferred.

On one hand, he fit every one of your guilty pleasure fantasies, while on the other, he terrified the hell out of you. It was more of an intimidating feeling, residing in the way each of his movements caught your attention and the way you could barely keep your eyes off his grungy appearance. Your mind drifted from the plot of the movie and towards the images of his tattooed hands wrapping around your throat and giving you a reason to be scared.

“You here alone?” He asked, popping another jellybean in his mouth. The action made you think of your grandpa waning himself off of tobacco when you were younger. Those jellybeans were blue and a flavor of comfort for you now, while the man before you seemed to only fish for the red ones.

You nodded hesitantly. “I got stood up,” you mumbled, making him shake his softly. “What about you? Are you here alone?” You wondered where you had gathered the courage to talk to him, his demeanor making you want to run, but his voice was a symphony to your ears in the darkness of the movie house, drawing you closer with each of his lulling words.

He wet his lips. “So far,” he answered. He stuck out his large hand for you to shake, his skin was coarse against yours as his finger reached to brush against your wrist. “I’m Clay,” he added, his name rolling into your mind and nestling itself into your memory just due to the tone of his voice. After you gave him your name his mouth curled into a soft smirk. “It’s nice to meet you,” he remarked. You blushed for an unknown reason, thankful for the darkness to mask your emotions.

Someone entered the theatre, marching up to Clay and leaning down to his ear. “Dream, we have to go now,” the guy whispered into his ear, just loud enough that you could hear him. Clay's face twisted into an annoyed expression while the guy turned to leave.

Clay straightened his jacket on his shoulders. “Not to seem to forward, but can I get your number?” He queried. You raised your eyebrows at him, basking in the fact that despite his friend’s agitation, Clay was taking his sweet time making his move on you.

As if you were acting on instinct, you grabbed a pen from your bag as he held his hand out to you again. You found a bare spot on his skin and wrote your number as clearly as you could manage with your shaking hands at the way his eyes watched you alluringly. Without thinking, you blew on the ink, trying to keep it from smearing. You froze, realizing what you were doing as he bit back a smirk.

He was completely eating up your awkwardness.

He reluctantly took his hand back, being pulled up by his friend. “I’ll call you,” he whispered on his way out, heat rushing to your ears.

The movie ended shortly after he left, sending you back out onto the city streets and away from your cocoon where you had forgotten about the sleazy classmate and let thoughts of Clay weasel their way into your nerves. As you stepped through the doors, your phone began to ring, kick-starting your heart at the thought of it being Clay. Instead, it was a friend of yours asking how your date had gone. You tucked the phone between your ear and shoulder as you pulled a piece of gum out of your purse.

Her ramblings went deaf on your ears as a car violently pulled up to an alleyway a block from you. You squinted as you moved closer, your apartment being in that direction anyway. A few men got from the car and that’s when Clay stepped into view from behind one of the buildings, flicking his cigarette to the ground and snubbing it out with the toe of his heavy boots as he watched them get out. You could see your number still written on his hand, mixing with his tattoos.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking tiredly at the group of men that had come from the car as his friends began to shout at them. Clay chewed on his lip, looking around and away from the conversation before his gaze met yours. His eyes widened slightly before he turned back, an attempt to keep the attention away from you.

One of the car members grabbed for Clay’s jacket, yanking him closer as if to get him to pay mind to the man talking. Clay sent him a cocky grin, towering over him. With his normal height and his boots, he had at least a foot on the guy. One of Clay’s friends separated the two, breaking the groups into a brawl while shouting was accompanied with fists and elbow jabs.

You turned, walking in another direction as briskly as you could without bringing attention to yourself and the group of boys in the alleyway. Little did you know, Clay was watching you leave and kicking himself for it.

The next day, your mind was racing with Clay’s whereabouts. He seemed like he had his opponents under control, but what if one of them had brought a knife or another weapon? It wasn’t unusual for boys in the city to butt heads like they were, but the fact that you’d let one nearly pick you up the night before was boggling.

You gripped the strap of your bag as you crossed the street, stepping onto the sidewalk and adjusting your skirt. You kept your head down as you passed various people coming and going from their apartments before your ears picked up on a familiar voice. You picked your eyes up, spotting Clay and a small group of guys walking together. He popped a jellybean in his mouth after chiming into their conversation.

You held your breath as they neared you and that’s when you noticed his bruised face and scraped knuckles. Your number was faded on his skin, but still apparent on the back of his hand. He smiled at you, breaking off from his group and walking backward to match your pace. You bit back a smile. “Glad to see you’re okay,” you mumbled, barely able to make eye contact with him. His friends called out for him and he waved them off, walking in line with you.

He chuckled lightly. “Yeah, sorry. I would have called last night but…” he made a gesture to his torso as he trailed off. “I broke a rib. I didn’t really… I don’t.” He laughed sheepishly as you raised your eyebrows. “I’m fine. It’s good,” he brushed.

You picked your gaze off the pavement finally, focusing on his discolored black eye and busted lip. He didn’t seem to be too hurt, but he wore his wounds well. “You’re not scared of me, are you?” He asked, voice changing slightly. You drew in a sharp breath, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before it could get further knotted in the wind. A few people narrowed their eyes at the two of you and you wondered how you looked together. What kind of juxtaposition it was; his tall, dark figure looking like death in Doc Martens while you barely passed his shoulder in height with your less intimidating color scheme.

You debated how to answer him. Your eyes flickered to his dangly earring; a silver ankh. He ate another jellybean. “I was at first. I’m still kind of weary of you, I guess,” you muttered, making a smile bite into his features.

Clay ran his fingers through his hair, which you were beginning to believe was a habit when he was coming up with what to say. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

You shook your head. A blush crept to your cheeks. “No, I kind of like it,” you mumbled, barely audible enough for him to hear. His hand slipped into yours and you could feel your chest tighten.

“You like being scared of me?” His voice was dripping with allure, making you bite your tongue in a flushed embarrassment. “You just keep getting better and better,” he teased, making your ears burn.

You weren’t sure how you ended up there, but God, were you thankful for Clay’s hands as they kneaded your ass, his lips pressing against yours. He ground his hips against yours, moaning into your mouth as your nails sank into his tattooed skin. His tongue pressed past your lips, his large hand moving to fist in the sheets beside you before dragging up your shirt to grip your breast.

You breathlessly moaned as he broke your kiss, lips trailing down your body as he sat back on his knees, dragging your underwear off as your shirt was also discarded to the floor. He looped his arms around your thighs, bringing you closer to his mouth as his concentrated stare shifted to your eyes before he buried himself between your legs, your body tensing as a groan ripped through your body. Your fingers carded through his soft blond hair, tugging slightly in appraisal as he pulled away from you.

Clay looked up at you again, slowly pressing one of his long fingers into you, you moaned his name, reaching one of your hands up to grip at the headboard above you. “Does that feel good, sweetheart?” He asked, voice deep with lust as his breath fanned against your wet core. He pushed another finger into you as you nodded. He pressed his lips to your thigh. “I can’t believe you’re scared of me,” he mocked, making you whimper as his fingers pulsed against your sweet spot.

He pressed his lips to your core again, tongue teasing at your nerves as you caught your lips between your teeth. You moved your knee further up his arm for a better angle, driving him deeper. He pulled away, his fingers speeding up. “So needy,” he chuckled, the sound enough to send you over the edge if you really thought about it.

“Clay, please. I want you,” you whined softly, your thighs threatening to close around his head. His eyes sparkled devilishly, leaning away from you before tugging your legs towards him. He pushed his fingers into your mouth, jaw tensing as you moaned around him.

He grabbed your hips, flipping your body and pushing your shoulders into the mattress. You heard him unbuckling his belt and your fingers knitted into the sheets beneath you. He pulled you back by the shoulders, hand moving to hold onto your neck. “Maybe I should give you something to be scared of,” he chided, making a shiver run up your spine as he pushed your thighs apart driving himself up into you. You were sure you would tear in half at the sheer size of him, but you bit back your whimpers at the pleasuring pain.

One of your hands moved to grip onto his arm as he thrust into you, his teeth threatening to dig into your shoulder as you moaned. His other hand moved to tease at your nerves, his determination to summon your orgasm sending your head reeling. You tilted back your head, resting against his shoulder as his hand tightened around your throat.

He let go of you, dipping you against the mattress again as his fist knotted in your hair. He steadied himself, leaning on one of his arms beside your head. Your hand wrapped around his wrist as he thrusted into you at an ungodly pace, lips hovering beside your ear as he grunted your name and how good you felt.

You pushed your hips up against him turning your head enough that he pressed his lips against yours, the vibrations from his moans sending heat throughout your body. Clay’s tongue slipped into your mouth roughly, tasting your whimpers and lust. His teeth dragged against your lip as you felt him throb inside of you.

He pushed your shoulder back, moving you on your side as your leg curled around. At the new angle, he could drive himself deeper into you; dark green eyes focused on yours as his warmed breath cascaded over your chest. His hand moved to your jaw, running his thumb against your burning lips as his sights were almost hungrily looking upon you. Your breathing became shallow as he smirked at you, moving his hand to your throat again.

He leaned down, slowing his pace to drag in and out of you as his lips were close to your ear. He applied pressure, your breath hitching in your throat. “So pretty. Good girl, taking me so well,” he praised, making you moan as he kissed you again before speeding up his thrusts. You moaned out his name again, finishing as your eyes fluttered shut. He chuckled darkly, pounding into you harder. “Fuck,” he hissed, lips pressing to the skin behind your ears, digging his face into your hair as he chased his high.

He exhaled, breath blanketing your skin before he kissed your shoulder, cheek, and finally your lips in a quiet appraisal. You pulled him into the spot beside you. He ran his fingers through his hair as you curled against his side, his other hand brushing softly against your arm. You knotted your fingers with his, brushing your thumb against where your faded number rested. “Didn’t you just break a rib?” You asked, finally noticing the slide bruising on his side.

Clay chuckled softly. “Yeah, I think I was running on adrenaline until a second ago,” he groaned.

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