#god if anybody asked. i have SO MANY ideas on how to make this book into a good movie

[saviourkingslut]

watched netflix's im westen nichts neues with my dad and uhh. i dont think they could've missed the essence of the book any harder if they'd actively tried

[wonamour]

Jungwon’s Diary

pairing .. Yang Jungwon x F!Reader

Genre .. smut, friends to lovers, yandere!jungwon

warnings .. degrading such as calling the reader a “ stupid little girl, stalking, obsession, kinda violent at times, rough sex.. some fluff at the end

wrd count .. 2k

Every hour, every minute, every second, Jungwon was practically glued to his diary. Mindlessly and irrevocably scribbling every inch of his thoughts throughout the day. He always held the diary close to him and was highly possessive over it when anybody would even get remotely close to it. The fact that Jungwon always held the diary close to him isn’t even a good enough description of how much time he spends away from it which is like 1% of the time, he has even brought it with him in the bathroom when he showers.

However,

Today was a different day. Y/N and Jungwon have been friends for many, many years and got an apartment together after high school, becoming roommates. Jungwon had left the house to run some errands but Y/N was stuck alone with no plans for today so she ended up going around the apartment and cleaning. As she was fixing up and cleaning the dining room table, Y/N grabbed Jungwon’s jacket intending to put it back in his room of course but as she lifted the jacket, his diary fell out of a pocket and tumbled to the floor.

For someone to be so possessive over their diary the way that he was, what kind of outrageous and obscene things were written on those pages?

With her very curious wondering mind, Y/N grabbed the book off the floor with eager hands and flipped to a page that had a sorta recent date on the top of the page from two months ago.

“ Living with Y/N was the best idea in all of eternity. It’s like I wake up and I’m living in a dream every fucking day it’s amazing truly. I watch as she eats her breakfast, watching the way her eyes are when she first sits down and looks down at her food with hunger but happiness. The way her eyes flutter close for a second when she’s about to take a bite of her food and god when her lips part and her mouth takes in the mouthful of cereal drives me crazy-”

Y/N could feel her stomach drop the more she read. She flipped through a couple of the pages that were before that and every.single.page was 98% about her, he was practically her stalker, he followed her in secret and watched her run errands because “ I just can't bear to think all the fucking things that could happen to her when she's away from me, nobody should hurt her, nobody should touch her, and I just can't have anybody look at her the way I do.”

She should be terrified, she should’ve packed her shit and ran away. However, she kinda.. very much loved the idea and enjoyed every part of this. The way her scent drives him into a frenzy, the way he watches her sleep and sometimes catches Y/N touching herself “ I couldn’t help it today, I heard her moans when I came back from the market and I just opened her door a tad and just watched her lay back on the bed groping her breast with one hand, the other hand rubbing circles onto her clit as she had her head thrown back on the mattress, I touched myself while watching her fuck it was the best orgasm I’ve had, best day.”

She stood there in a daze with Jungwon’s diary in hand, daydreaming about Jungwon and the things he does for her and could even do to her when suddenly she flinched at the sound of something crashing onto the counter. She looked up as she saw an upset Jungwon who threw all his belongings he had there, fear rushed into her veins when her eyes met his, she was never more scared of anything or anyone in her life than in this moment, his eyebrows furrowed in and his eyes were full of anger and pure darkness.

“ What the fuck are you doing with my journal, Y/N.” He asked with a low tone in his voice that sent shivers down her spine, making her eyes immediately shoot down to look at her feet as she started playing with her hands anxiously.

“ I-I grabbed y-your jacket because I was cleaning a-and your diary fell o-out of i-it-” She sputtered out, Jungwon shook his head and scoffed at her answer. He quickly walked towards her and wrapped his hand around her neck, pushing her up against the all, and tightened his grip just a little to have Y/N grab at his hand and gasp.

“ Wrong fucking answer.” He whispered against her ear followed by a chuckle. He looked into her eyes as they fluttered, her cheeks growing a tinted red and her breathing getting heavier, she wouldn’t lie and say she was freaked out right now because in reality, seeing this side of Jungwon turned her on. She could feel her stomach heating a bit as her pussy started to get wet, staining her panties and as for Jungwon he was feeling the same, it was starting to get difficult trying to contain himself but the pressure in his pants drove his mind in a different direction.

Jungwon observed her every move, scanning her body up and down, when he finally realized she was not at all frightened by him but craving him, a grin slowly appeared on his lips. His other hand slipped down, lifting her skirt and grazing his finger against her clothed wet pussy causing her to let out a choked whimper and flinch at the sudden touch.” I’m fucking angry at you and all your thinking about is how my big dick would feel inside that pretty little pussy of yours, aren't you..? Fucking naughty girl..” He mumbled the last part under his breath but still loud enough to hear.

He released his grip from her neck, grabbing her wrist and dragging her down the hall and into his bedroom. “ J-Jungwon! W-What are you doing-!?” She asked as she stumbled behind Jungwon before he pushed her body onto the bed, climbing on top of her. “ What does it look like I’m doing, naughty girls like you who don’t fucking listen get punished.” He spat out before looking away to the side, his face getting heated up and a smile grew on his lips at the fact he was in this position with her was making him go insane but he also would never want to actually harm her, being a mean dominant was something he could do to a certain extent.

“ that’s.. alright though..right..?” he mumbled wanting to ask for consent before looking back at her, his hand softly grazing her waist. She smiled to herself, watching him for a second knowing and seeing how much he truly cared for her and liked her, she nodded her head and Jungwon smiled. His hands grabbed at her waist like he was hungry animal, his tight grip on her would definitely leave bruises, he leaned in as their lips crashed against one another so needily while their tongues danced in perfect harmony, their bodies moved in sync as they eagerly took off every article of clothing that was on each other's bodies and tossed them onto the ground.

Jungwon’s mind was racing at the speed of light, his lips traveled down from her lips onto the innocent nape of her neck, he took a moment before doing anything and took in her scent making him roll his eyes back and moan lowly to himself as he gripped tightly on her body like she was a golden prize and went down her body slowly taking in more of her scent as she squirmed under his touch, actively blushing, watching him go into a frenzy while getting a catch of her scent all along her body. She whined and tapped Jungwon to motion him to stop , growing more shy as she continued to watch him all over her body. He grabbed her hand roughly and pinned them above her head as he went back up to her neck, marking every centimeter and inch that was available with dark purplish-red hickeys. Y/N tilted her head back making room for the male as he bit all along her neck, making her slip out soft moans like he had written about before and rub her thighs together as the heat between her legs grew, with precum leaking from his tip, his mind and cock desired for more. He kissed down her body and kissed along her breast and frame down to her cunt. He kissed along her inner thighs and up onto her clit, his lips stuck themselves onto her clit as he licked and sucked on it while inserting two fingers causing her to let out a such a lewd moan at the sudden cold contact of his cold fingers on her pussy that quickly drove her mad, she wanted more.

“ J-Just fuck me already I can’t take this.” She breathed out between moans with bucked hips and her hands gripping onto his hair. Jungwon scoffed once again and nodded his head quickly “ Fuck, you don’t gotta tell me twice love” He replied as he sat up, situating himself, grabbing her hips, and aligning his tip at her entrance. His tip stroking her clit over and over again making her more aroused than she was before while her hole clenched around nothing, throwing his head back and moaning at the feeling of her. She looked up at him, biting her lower lip and watching him in admiration before he slid himself inside her finally making her gasp at this new feeling and stretching her out. He groaned, gripping her hips even tighter, throwing his head back feeling how her walls tightened and wrapped around his cock so perfectly, he stood for a second enjoying this feeling of pure ecstasy, feeling how his size made her so full. He let out soft breathy moans as she dug her nails into his biceps, wrapping her legs around his waist before letting out a relieved moan as he deepened himself inside her, stretching her out even more. She could feel how big he was inside her and it felt fucking amazing like no other.

He leaned forward, his body pressed against hers as he kissed her lips softly for a moment before hiding his face into the nape of her neck moaning into her skin. He could already feel his orgasm coming already at this point by the way her sweet, gummy walls kept tightening around his cock but he wanted more than just a quick fuck. He looked up into her face as her eyes shimmered with lust and from here he lost all control he was trying to maintain. His thrust became rough, deep, hard passionate and quite fast. His breathing changes in a matter of seconds as he starts to breathe heavily, only staying on her and keeping himself aware of how her body reacted to him. She threw her head back, her hands immediately grabbing at his hair pulling him close as her moans were spilling out of her mouth uncontrollably, her eyes shut tightly as she felt this big amount of pleasure inside her body the harder and faster he went.

“ J-Jungwon-! T-Too m-much!” She choked out and he shook his head, letting out a slight chuckle as he leaned in while one of his hands grabbed her throat and forced her to look at him. “ I-I say if it’s too much, okay? This is your punishment, stupid little girl..” He responded harshly through moans. He pulled out for a second before slamming himself back inside, her body started to shake as she arched her back and moaned louder. The sound of skin slapping and moans was the only thing you could hear on their apartment floor. His movements never stuttered for a second as he kept ramming himself into her harder and harder, especially when he found her spot he never slowed down in this moment as she practically screamed his name for the neighbors to hear.

She opened her eyes for a second and caught a glimpse of Jungwon with his hair sticking to his forehead and his body glistening from sweat while he grunted, his eyes that were glued to her, were only filled with pure infatuation and lust, drove her over the edge and that became evident to him. Watching her lose herself to him, made his orgasm quickly start approaching as well, his strokes became more sloppy as his moans turned into whines. He watched the way her pussy took in his cock, the way it disappeared deep inside her, seeing as his cock made a protruding bulge under her navel. He held her close and tight in his embrace as his orgasm hit him like a truck, finally emptying his load inside her as he groans loudly, she wrapped her arms around his body tightly and dug her nails into his skin as she came right after him onto his cock, her intense orgasm left her with her body shaking and gripping her arms around him tightly, tears steaming down her face as she buried her head into the nook of his neck with followed streams of cries, moans and cuss words.

He didn't even wait a second either one of them to catch their breath afterwards as his hands reached out, cupping her face and kissed her lips passionately, her eyes widened for a second at the sudden move but she interlocked her fingers into his hair and she connected her lips with his. The warmth traveled between their bodies as they kissed and he pumped himself inside her a few times, getting over their high before finally pulling out. She whimpered at the empty feeling inside her as her hole clenched around nothing. He tries catching his breath for a second before quickly grabbing a towel nearby and cleaning her body from the sweat that accumulated from the both of them and the cum that was pouring out of her cunt, He laid down next to her body, wrapping his arms around her and held her close to his body. He kissed her forehead softly, mumbling sweet nothings with every little kiss along her face, telling her how he loves her and how great she did, before landing another kiss on her lips, she smiled, kissing his lips back and rested her head on his chest.

“ I love you, Y/N.”

“ I love you too..”

[eds6ngel]

another idea: reader going over to robin and vickie’s with steve for dinner one night, robin talks to reader about how good reader is for steve, little bonding moment with robin, and reader starts to feel deeper love, then fluff with steve and maybe a reciprocation of feelings? I think that’s it for now, but you don’t have to do any of them! thank you so much for writing the series, its soooo good and I can’t wait for any spin-offs!

hi my love!! i started off with this one as it goes in the order i'd like to tackle my asks in! i changed it up slightly (not too much), so i hope you enjoy!! ♡

warnings: dad!steve. singledad!steve. 90s!au. fem!reader. use of y/n. swearing. kissing. a lil bit of making out. allusions to sex. pet names. food mentions. r is mentioned as unlabeled (so you can assign the label according to your identity!!) r being an ally. fluff. comfort. love confessions!! [2.3k].

full 'when i kissed the teacher' masterlist.

“Babe?” Steve asks you, currently attending to the dishes piled in the sink from your beautiful handmade soup the two of you had for lunch. Alena was currently staying with Jonathan and Nancy, having a sleepover with her friend Ashley, which meant you had the place to yourselves.

“Uh huh?” you reply, not tearing your eyes away from the very intriguing book about the psychology of the human mind.

“You’re accepting, right?”

The question draws you away from the paperback, looking behind you to where Steve was scrubbing away at a green bowl, placing it neatly on the drying rack. “Yeah, I would say I am. Why?” The question seemed out of the blue, almost unordinary for him. It’s not like you had an issue with said question, it was just the timing that was confusing.

“Just… I really hope she doesn’t kill me for this,” Steve mumbles to himself, just loud enough for you to catch the tail end of, “You know Robin, she’s uh… She’s a lesbian, had a girlfriend for nine years. That’s okay with you… right?”

You smile, “Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. People can love whoever they want to love.” You were very passionate about this topic. You hadn’t particularly labeled your own sexuality, but you were striving for the ones that didn’t fit into the heteronormative society to have as many rights as you did. You frankly thought it was stupid that they didn’t already, and that as long as relationships are consensual and healthy, anybody of age should be allowed to love and potentially have sex with whoever they wanted.

Steve sighs out, chuckling lightly, “Oh thank God. I was so scared for a second.”

“Babe, if I didn’t support gay people, I shouldn’t even be deserving of your time. Besides… I’ve been to a few protests in my life,” you smirk, quickly looking back down at your book to leave Steve standing there in shock.

“You’ve been to protests?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, “College is a wild ride babe. You end up doing things you never thought you would ever do.”

“Huh… Anyway,” he shakes his running thoughts off, “I was asking because I was wondering if you’d like to go on a double date with them. You know, me and you, Robin and her girlfriend Vickie, that sort of thing?”

“Of course!” you happily agree, “When were you thinking?”

“Well, I’ll have to check with the girls, but since Alena isn’t back until tomorrow evening, I was thinking we could grab lunch somewhere tomorrow afternoon?”

“That sounds great babe! I’m totally down.”

He puts the final dish on the rack, walking up behind you and placing a tender kiss on the crown of your head, “Great, let me just give them a call, see if they’re down too.”

“There’s nothing good on this menu,” Robin whines, “You couldn’t have chosen a better restaurant, Steve?”

The four of you were squeezed into a booth of a small sandwich shop on the outskirts of Hawkins. Steve had his hand on your thigh as he scanned through the menu to the right of you, Robin and Vickie sat opposite.

Steve scoffs, “Just because you’re an extremely fussy eater, Robin. Everyone else here seems to be fine with the menu. The menu’s good, isn’t it, babe?” His question holds a slight waver of uncertainty, his best friend making his insecurities come out.

You take a quick look up at Robin over the top of your menu, smirking away as you pretend to cringe, “Well…”

Steve’s eyes open wide as he thinks he made the biggest mistake of his life, you having to quickly put a reassuring hand on your shoulder to calm him down, “I’m only kidding babe, it’s wonderful.”

“Well, according to someone it isn’t,” he narrows his eyes at Robin, her sticking her tongue out at him. You and Vickie give each other a look, as if you were both mothers parenting your immature children.

The waiter soon comes, Robin ordering a plain chicken sandwich, as suspected, Steve a ham and cheese toastie, Vickie a cheese and salad sandwich, and you deciding on a pulled pork sandwich.

“So,” you begin to start the conversation back up, “I’ve heard the two of you have been together for nine years. That’s incredible!”

Vickie holds Robin’s hand in hers on top of the table, the other leaning against her cheek, “Yeah. Almost at the nine year anniversary. You know, it took Robin two years to ask me out. She had a crush on me since the start of ‘86, took her until the Spring of ‘88 to make a move. We were both just blubbering messes up until that point. She finally asked me out, we had our first date, and then the rest is history I suppose.”

“So, just like me and Steve,” you giggle, Steve squeezing your thigh as he smiles down at you, Robin noticing how in love her best friend looks. “Always the whole mutual pining game, huh?”

“Apparently so. After the earthquake happened here a decade ago, we had to help out at the school for anyone affected,” Vickie explains, “Well, Robin and I got put on making PB&J’s, and I got so rambly and nervous in her presence that I buttered both pieces of bread with peanut butter.”

“Yeah, I was sorting clothes, watching the two of you be all cutesy and shit from across the room.”

Robin lets her mouth hang open, “You were watching that day?”

Steve nods with a grin on his face, “Uh, yeah? My best friend talking to her crush who she wouldn’t shut up about for months? And the two of you laughing and getting along? Of course I was watching.”

Vickie sighs happily, “I’m trying to think of some questions to ask the two of you, but I think we know every detail of your relationship.”

Robin raises her eyebrows with a smirk next to her girlfriend, “Oh yeah. Every goddamn time we saw him. ‘She called me handsome.’ ‘She’s just so pretty.’ ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Over and over again. It was constant reassurance, trying to encourage him to ask you out.”

“Just to let you know though,” Vickie points at you, “We did not encourage him to kiss you and therefore lose your job. We take absolutely no responsibility in that.”

You brush her off with a wave of your hand, “I mean, it didn’t end up so bad in the end. I mean, no insult to Hawkins or anything—”

“Babe,” Steve interrupts you, “We’ve all grown up here. You can insult this place however you like.”

“I don’t like to be rude though honey, you know that!” you laugh as Steve presses a kiss to your cheek, Robin and Vickie giving each other a knowing look, “Okay, fine. Just to preface, I loved the kids I taught, okay? Nothing wrong on their part. Just… some of the teachers were extremely mean in the staff room, some parents were just absolutely awful and the place itself was just… I dunno, something felt off.”

“Yeah, because it’s a piece of shit,” Robin truthfully states, Vickie jabbing her lightly in the ribs, Robin letting out an “Ow!”

You giggle, “Yeah, it kind of is, I guess. At least in comparison to Ernie Pyle. I suppose parents take their kids education a lot more seriously there. The student population is mostly made up of ethnic minorities from disadvantaged backgrounds, so the parents want to give their kids what they never had growing up. Plus, I think it’s around 90% of the teachers already have at least three years of prior teaching experience. It’s one of the reasons they took me on actually.”

“Well, I’m glad you got your happy ending. Perfect relationship and a perfect job,” Vickie points out, “Seems like a total win.”

“Yeah,” you look up at Steve lovingly, “It was.”

You had all enjoyed your meals, no matter how adventurous your selections were. Before you all got ready to leave, Steve excused himself to the bathroom, Robin sipping the final bits of her strawberry milkshake. “I’ve never seen dingus so in love before. I imagine you must get fed up with how much he says it.”

But, that’s the thing: he’d never said it. You weren’t gonna critique him on that, you were happy to take things as slow as possible, but there was that lingering thought in the back of your mind that maybe he wasn’t as in love as you were. And you didn’t want to scare him off by saying those three words if he didn’t feel that confident in the relationship yet.

“Actually, he hasn’t said it yet…” you let out.

“What?”

“Are you kidding?”

The two girls sit there in shock as you shrug it off. “No, you have to be lying,” Robin says, “Dingus has been in love with you since… well, forever!“

“Yeah, my love’s not kidding,” Vickie adds on, “I’m pretty sure he told us after you two did the Christmas Fayre together.”

“Probably even alluded to it before that.” Robin looks you in the eye, “You do love him, don’t you?”

You nod, “Of course I love him, Robin! I just don’t want to say it, and then he doesn’t feel the same—“

“Y/N, I’m telling you,” Vickie interrupts you, “He is 100% definitely in love with you. I know that for a fact. We both do.”

Robin nods, making you lean back in your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose, “Why won’t he say it then?”

“Y/N,” Robin starts, “The first girl Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to was Nancy Wheeler two weeks into their relationship, and they broke up a year later. The second was Alena’s mother who walked out when her daughter was a few months old, leaving Steve alone with a child to raise by himself. I think he’s just scared to say it in case you leave, since that’s all he knows.”

Vickie nods along, “But, if you say it first… I think that he might calm down a little. Realise that you are the one taking initiative.”

“Just say it…” Robin says softly, “What else have you got left to lose?”

But, you could have a lot to lose. What if he was just saying it to Robin and Vickie and doesn’t properly mean it? What if you tell him and he doesn’t reciprocate? You’d lose your whole relationship.

You have no time to think as Steve re-appears, reaching for his denim jacket the other side of you, “Right, we ready to go?”

Robin and Vickie smile at you, giving you a look as they begin to stand, collecting their belongings as the four of you head out the main entrance of the shop.

After bidding farewell to Robin and Vickie, Steve drove you back home, him having to clean the house for when Alena got home, and you having to prepare resources for your class tomorrow.

He pulls up to your apartment complex, leading you to the entrance as always, like the gentlemen he is.

You grab his hand, Steve noticing that it was slightly shaking wrapped around his, “Um… Steve? I just want to say something before you go.”

He simply stares back, you taking it as a sign to continue talking. You let out a breath. It was now or never.

“I understand that you’ve been wanting to take this entire thing slowly, and I get that. But, I just want to reassure you that I am in this for the long run. I love how you treat me, and care for me. I love the dates you take me on, they are so varied. I love how kind, and caring, and slightly stupid you can be sometimes. And I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I love you.”

You can audibly hear how his breath hitches in his throat, your brain instantly taking that as a mistake, “But, don’t feel as if you need to reciprocate or anything, because I don’t want to pressure you into doing that. I just needed to let it out—”

Your rambling is stopped by Steve’s lips crashing into yours. You can’t help but let the slight moan slip from your mouth as he deepens the kiss, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as he cups your cheeks. Before the kiss can escalate, Steve pulls apart from you, leaning his forehead against yours as he whispers back, “I love you too,” a goofy smile gracing his features. “Shit, I was just so scared to say anything in case it made you leave, as that’s what usually happens whenever I say those words—”

It’s now your time to interrupt him with a giggle, “I know baby, Robin kind of told me everything.”

He shakes his head, “God, I hate her. Always revealing secrets about me.”

“Damn,” you huff, “Maybe I should hang out with her more, get more juicy details about you.”

He leans back, raising his eyebrows at you, “Absolutely not. I’ve revealed way too much of my life to her.”

You both laugh, “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

“I love you too, Y/N L/N,” he replies, leaning in to kiss you once again. You melt into the kiss, Steve swiping his tongue across your lips, asking for permission to which you accept, opening your mouth and letting his tongue slip in, the lingering taste of his sandwich invading your senses. The two of you moan, you pulling back to catch your breath, realising the two of you were technically stood directly next to a busy road. “Amy’s out with her boyfriend today… So, I have the apartment to myself…”

Steve looks down at his watch, before turning his gaze back to you, smirking and seductively replying, “I think we have time.”

i hope you enjoyed!! i will get to the rest of your asks (and everybody else's) tomorrow and during the course of next week!! ♡

taglist: @livsters @bakugouswh0r3 @nix-rose @ihatepeanutss @cats00089 @suitelif3 @clincallyonline17 @crowssixof @starkeylover @eris-rose-86 @frostandflamesfanfic

[thencitytales]

Non-stop Teasing - CYJ

🌷Pairing: Choi Yeonjun of TXT x fem!reader (3rd person used)

🌷 kinda enemies to lovers

🌷wc: 4.1k

🌷 Fluff? sort of angsty tho

🌷 warning: drinking, cussing, frat party, Yeonjun being kind of down bad

🌷There are a few other idols mentioned, some of them in a relationship with each other, I do not think these people are together nor do I ship them, I just felt like the story could have used these dort of relationships (ChaewonxWooyoung, KarinaxJeno)

🌷 Hey!! I am back because i felt like it. This fic is a fleeting idea i had a long time ago and was finally able to finish. In the beginning it was not meant for Yeonjun but it had mostly OC'S so if you see random names I'm sorry, I have yet to proofread it. Feel free to give me notes and feedback, as I appreciate it a lot!! 'Til next time <3

(not my GIF)

Yeonjun. Stupid, fucking Yeonjun.

Idiot, average-looking yet so stupidly attractive Yeonjun.

“If you really hate him you should stop staring at him, you know?” a blonde girl talked to her best friend, who shushed her in response.

“Shut up Chaewon, I’m not staring” Y/N retorted against her best friend. 

Except she was, and she knew it.

Another person in the library was also very aware of Y/N and what she was doing, because he could feel her eyes pierce through his head. 

And he loved it.

“Ask anybody here, they’ll say you’re staring,” Chaewon said in an amused tone, making Y/N’s eye twitch in frustration.

“Well, then it’s hate-staring, glaring if you will,” Y/N looked away from the boy and glared at her best friend, turning her head ever so slowly, as to recreate the scene in a horror movie.

“Just like I’m glaring at you right now.” Chaewon let out a laugh at her friend’s antics and shrugged it off.

“Sure thing, love. Keep telling yourself that.”Chaewon said. Y/N could only scoff before going back to look at her books.

Look was indeed the best word to describe what she was doing, the words on the page being read for the tenth time in as many minutes without understanding nor absorbing any of it. Biology sucked, and so did Y/N’s brain at that moment. So much so that after a couple of seconds she got distracted again.

“What is it with the stupid beanie anyway? Like what’s the deal with that? DO YOU THINK HE HAS A BALD SPOT?” Y/N whisper-screamed, making Chaewon almost spit out the water she was trying to drink after finally reaching the end of her chapter.

Suddenly the girls heard a louder voice coming from behind them.

“It’s actually for style-related purposes, no bald spot, though if you’re still in doubt you could always ask him. Also, Y/N, you were one hundred percent staring at Yeonjun, just FYI.” Wooyoung said whilst chuckling at the little jump the girls made upon hearing him. Y/N turned around, red in the face, a mixture of embarrassment for being caught and pure wrath, caused by Wooyoung’s presence.

“How long have you been here?” She said bitterly. The boy could sense she wanted to add something, the words dying in her throat a bit too fast. He assumed a “dickhead”, or “asshole” was missing, but he let it go, not teasing her any further. 

“The whole time, love,” he said mocking what Chaewon had said to her friend just a few minutes prior. Then turned away and returned to his spot at the same table with Yeonjun, Soobin and Changbin.

Y/N looked warily at her surroundings to make sure no one else was around to eavesdrop on them.

“How in actual hell are you able to like that guy?” Her shocked expression clearly visible on her features.

Chaewon shrugged.

“He just likes to tease you, he’s actually very nice” She answered, her cheeks turning slightly pink before continuing. 

“I mean it’s not like they’re the fuckboys group.” When Chaewon said that, Y/N was still looking at them and immediately turned around. 

“No, they’re worse, at least the fuckboys are self-aware of how awful they are” she sighed.

“Oh my God you’re so dramatic,” Chaewon said rolling her eyes before going back to typing at her computer. 

Y/N shut up and went back to try and drill a hole through Yeonjun’s head with her gaze, sadly, without any success.

As if on cue, the boy turned around, looked at her, smirked, and turned back to speak with Changbin, making her avert her gaze and awkwardly look around to find God knows what.

She couldn’t take it anymore, her heart pounding in her chest was beginning to feel like it was too much, she could literally hear it and the sensation made her shudder. She got up and headed to the bathroom searching for some quick fix to the sudden heat of her body.

As soon as she got there Y/N quickly splashed her face with some cold water to try and stop it from getting all red, failing miserably. She looked defeatedly at her reflection.

“This is a PSA for that tiny voice living at the back of my head, I am kindly asking you to shut up” She lightly hit her head with her hand in the process so that the point would go across. 

“You understand me??” The girl sighed and took a step back from the sink to exit the bathroom, but as soon as she turned around a familiar face was standing leaning on the door frame.

“Try hitting it harder next time, that should work better.” He chuckled lightly before taking a step towards her.

“This is the girls’ bathroom, Yeonjun” Y/N backed up and glared at him for what was probably the thousandth time that day.

“Sorry, I was headed to the guys’ bathroom but something here caught my attention” he smirked once again. 

Y/N was on the verge of breaking. That smirk. He had to know the effect it had on her. Or was it just a stupid habit of his? 

It didn’t really matter. Either way, she wanted to kiss him so badly right now. And subsequently, run away, completely change identities, go to Peru, and start a potato plantation or something, to hopefully never be found again. She would never EVER admit to wanting to kiss that boy.

Frustrated even more than before, she ran back to the table where Chaewon was waiting for her, shoving Yeonjun in the process, and making him audibly laugh, clearly enjoying how easily he could fluster her.

“I gotta go, or I’m going to be late for the party,” Chaewon said the moment she saw her best friend enter her view.

“Again” Y/N added to Chaewon’s statement, knowing how long the blonde usually takes to get ready. The other girl got up and quickly added:

“Remember, I’ll be at your dorm around 10 pm, we’ll see what to do from there. Remind Ryujin too when you get home, please.” Chaewon said while collecting all of her stuff and messily throwing it in her bag.

“Sure thing, I’ll finish this chapter and go home too in a half-hour or so. Don’t worry about Ryujin, knowing her, she’ll be all dressed up already. You know who you should be worried about, though.” Y/N answered, looking up from her books.

“I already texted Karina, I told her I’d be at hers around 9:30 so she’ll hopefully be ready when we actually get there.” The girl chuckled at her best friend’s trickery and waved her goodbye, mumbling a “perfect” in the meanwhile.

On her way out Chaewon was stopped in her tracks by a slightly taller figure.

“Hey there,” he sweetly addressed the girl.

“Hi Wooyoung, I’d love to stop and chat with you but I really need to go.”

“See you at the party, then” Chaewon looked at him surprised.

“You should really stop eavesdropping other people’s conversations. Besides, you don’t even know which party we were talking about, there’s like 5 every Friday night without counting the ones outside of campus” 

He gave her a playful smile and said “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.” The girl laughed and answered “Good luck, darling” before going her way.

After that Wooyoung quickly got back to the guys’ table where all of his friends were sitting, trying to finish some sort of group project.

“Okay, talking about important things, what do you guys know about parties tonight?” Wooyoung said, sitting down.

“You mean here in the campus? or in general? Also like, frat houses or bars?” Soobin started throwing questions at him to try and narrow down the search.

“I don't know, man, Chaewon was talking to the Menace and they said they were going to a party tonight.” Wooyoung just answered him calmly.

As soon as he heard the words “Menace” and “party” together in a sentence Yeonjun’s interest was piqued. He looked at Wooyoung, completely ignoring the semi-blank document opened in front of him.

“Well I don’t think they’d go off campus, the Menace is too lazy for that, she’d want to be as close to the dorm as possible.” Soobin started the brainstorming session.

“That still leaves like at least five or six parties” Changbin pointed out, then turned to Wooyoung and asked:

“Is it just the two of them?” to which Wooyoung quickly added Ryujin and Karina to the mix.

As soon as Karina’s name came up Changbin and Soobin looked at each other and said: “Keystone Lodge.”

“Is there something I don’t know?” Wooyoung asked given how the boys answered the place of the party seemed obvious but he had no idea.

“Karina’s boyfriend, Jeno. He’s in the frat.” Soobin pointed out.

“Okay but aren’t parties at KL like, invitation-only or something like that?” Changbin quickly raised the question.

Yeonjun, who had just started fantasizing about what could’ve happened at the party and had no intentions of having his dreams ruined just like that, said: “don’t worry guys, be prepared, I’ll text you later.” and quickly got up and gathered his things before exiting the library.

“Does he have to do it every time?” Soobin asked.

“He got it from Mark, says it gives him the surprise effect later on and the mysterious effect right away.” Changbin answered rolling his eyes, to which the other two guys only answered almost in awe with an “Ooh.” probably thinking it was the best idea a man could have.

“Okay, how did you get us in Yeonjun?” Wooyoung asked, almost alarmed at how quickly and seemingly easily their friend acquired the invitations.

“I know Haechan, and he owed me. He still does.” the older boy simply stated, raising Wooyoung's alarm instead of calming him down.

“Now let’s get this party started” Yeonjun exclaimed walking up the stairs to Keystone’s Lodge with a smirk on his face.

“You’re going to try and make her life hell, aren’t you?” Changbin said clearly amused at how his friend was planning on being even more annoying to Y/N than he usually was.

“Just wait and see Changbin, just wait and see.” the smirk on Yeonjun’s face growing with every step to the door he knocked on, where they found a guy standing alone, waiting for proof of invitations.

Inside the Frat house, the music was blasting. The air felt damp and everything smelled like cheap alcohol, adding to the mix the group of smoking boys at the far end of the room anyone could imagine that the atmosphere was not very romantic. Which is exactly what they expected.

Changbin went straight for the bar, getting everybody something to drink as the other guys scanned the room for their targets. 

Wooyoung quickly saw Chaewon sitting on the couch with her friends. They were talking to a few frat guys but they seemed nonthreatening enough to his ego. The Menace was sitting dangerously close to one of them, almost in his lap. Wooyoung could not recognize the guy though, no matter how much he squinted.

He nudged his friends and with a nod pointed the scene out, hoping they would get curious and approach them, so he could flirt with Chaewon once again. 

As soon as he realized what was going on, Soobin turned to look at Yeonjun’s reaction, gesturing to Changbin to hurry over, so he could witness it too because despite what those two liked to admit, they had this tension between them that was almost romantic. They were definitely, on some level, attracted to each other but they would never admit it. That’s why Changbin Soobin and Wooyoung were now staring at Yeonjun, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever they had theorized.

Yeonjun’s brows furrowed. The night just started and everything had to be so simple already, not even a bit of a challenge. He sighed, took a drink from Changbin’s hands, and turned to Wooyoung. 

“Let’s go say hi to your princess, shall we?” Yeonjun told his friend, who was very happy about the poor lighting, meaning the other boys were not made aware of his rosy cheeks prompted by Yeonjun's comment.

As they approached, Chaewon saw them and a big smile tugged on her lips. She raised a hand to say hi and the boys did the same.

“Well Well Well, I’m surprised to see little Sherlock actually did find us.” She chuckled looking at Wooyoung.

“I told you I could do it. I’m very resourceful” he winked and the girl lightly laughed. 

Everybody then fell back into conversation, except Y/N and her mystery guy, who were so distracted by each other that they didn’t even say hi to the newcomers. 

Yeonjun cleared his voice. 

“I know you don’t like us Y/N but not saying hi is simply rude, even for you.” He smirked, knowing very well what it did to her.

The girl turned around, her surroundings didn’t make it easy to hear but she was sure she heard a voice talking to her. 

From her sitting position she looked at the new figures that had joined the conversation. And then she saw his face. She simply rolled her eyes.

“Who even invited you here? Seriously, please tell me so I can avoid the lunatic all night long, people just become crazier and crazier by the day”

“Actually,” Yeonjun chuckled.

The guy whom Y/N was talking to gently removed his hands from her hips, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

“I think that might have been me,” He said. 

Y/N looked at Haechan with a void expression.

“You’re his friend?” She asked, not believing it for a moment.

Haechan was slightly taken aback by the question, thinking the answer to be obvious, so he simply answered:

“Yeah?” at which Y/N glared at both the boys.

“That’s a shame, I really liked you.” And with that, she got up and went to the bar to pour herself yet another drink. The alcohol was probably what made her act so suddenly with that silly explanation but even sober her had no intention of being affiliated in any way with Yeonjun.

Seeing how Y/N was behaving, the boy thought that his mission was going to be such a delight with how simple she was making it.

Yeonjun followed her, leaving behind their friends absorbed in whatever conversation, and a very confused Haechan sitting on the couch.

As Y/N approached the bar, she bumped into a few people obstructing passages left and right and leaving her even more annoyed than she already was.

She took one of the red cups and poured herself some beer. 

Not the ideal drink but it was the first thing her hands were able to grasp. 

As she was about to take a sip, a hand snatched her drink.

“Thanks, I was very thirsty,” Yeonjun told her, earning a glare once again that day.

“How do you manage to be so annoying Yeonjun?” Y/N said while pouring another cup, this time she grabbed some gin, sensing she would need something stronger than a beer.

“I give it my best, just for you” he grinned.

Y/N couldn’t help but groan as she looked for the soda to mix her drink.

“What did I ever do to you? Have I offended you in any way? Are you holding a grudge from your past life?? Why do you like to annoy me so much??” She sighed in defeat.

“Woah,” Yeonjun said taken aback by the sudden seriousness of the question.

“Well, for starters I could ask you the same thing…” He answered calmly.

As she started to protest he shushed her.

“Buut, I am not going to lie, I do find you very cute when you’re frustrated” He chuckled.

“Are you hitting on me?” She asked, mouth agape.

“Do you want me to be hitting on you?” There it was again. The stupidest grin on the face of the earth. If there was a way to wipe it off instantly, Y/N would’ve gladly taken that chance. Thinking about it, there was a way, and to be honest she had reluctantly considered that way many times before, but always ended up avoiding it.

A kiss was not the solution, everything it could’ve done was only create more problems.

She was snapped back to reality by Yeonjun waving his hands in front of her eyes. She had been staring at the grin for god knows how long. A faint red was starting to tint her cheeks.

“You want to kiss me so badly,” Yeonjun told her, the grin never leaving his face.

She tried to play it as cool as possible, hoping the poor lighting of the room helped her conceive the blushing situation.

“Projecting much?” She smiled turning on her heels, determined to get out of the house for some fresh air.

As she walked away Yeonjun screamed over the music.

“I never said I wouldn’t like it” Y/N briefly stopped in her tracks, surprised by the sudden confession. Thinking it was just another way of getting under her skin she slowly reached the door and opened it, stepping out onto the backyard.

“You just love messing with her, don’t you?” Chaewon said as she approached Yeonjun, Wooyoung by her side, holding her waist.

“I have a tendency not to lie, actually. Everything I said is true. She’s just… compelling” he tried to find the best word to describe her.

“Compelling? You mean messing with her like that is compelling?” Chaewon said, a bit offended that Yeonjun enjoyed toying with her friend’s emotions like that.

“Tell me Chaewon, when have I ever done anything truly bad to her? All I do is tease, in her opinion, when in reality I was always simply…” Yeonjun said, meanwhile Chaewon tried to start a list of all the times he’s gotten you frustrated and quickly realized most times it was just his very annoying, twisted way of ... 

“Flirting,” Chaewon said, shocked. She looked at him straight in the eyes, her expression painted with shock.

“Oh my God, you just flirt with her” Chaewon continued. She suddenly realized that every time Yeonjun ever talked to Y/N he was flirting, and that enraged her friend for some reason. He never actually DID anything bad to her. He never insulted her, let alone take action to actively ruin her day. The only times he did something of the sort she was always with a guy, like 10 minutes ago with Haechan. Yeonjun was always just… flirting with Y/N.

“I am very confused.” Wooyoung said looking at his two friends.

“You never admitted it to us and it takes you like three seconds to tell it to her best friend? I kinda hate you and I am not sure I would like to be friends with you anymore.” Wooyoung continued while watching Yeonjun's every move and acting offended.

“It’s not like you guys ever really asked, I thought it was obvious if I have to be honest. She’s pretty, she’s smart, she can be a pain in the ass but she’s one of the nicest and kindest people I ever met. Not with me, which I can not really comprehend, but if teasing her incessantly is the only way I can get her to interact with me I don’t think I will ever stop.” Yeonjun said earnestly to his friend. A small smile appeared on his features, almost sheepishly.

A voice behind him startled him right after.

“What did he just say??” it was Changbin, who basically screamed in his ear after he heard just half of the confession.

“I think he likes the Menace!!” Soobin screamed at Changbin (and in Yeonjun’s other ear) in hopes of being understood over the loud music.

Meanwhile, Y/N was outside, freezing because she forgot to bring a jacket. 

Why did he have to always be so annoying, why did he always have something to say that would just make her heart beat at a worrying speed? Why did she have to like him so fucking much?

As her mind birthed the last few words she stopped pacing back and forth on the grass.

Of course, she liked him. It seemed as if every stupid decision she could make she would take and this was not even a conscious one. 

It would explain why her fight or flight response would kick in every time he would even just look in her direction, and her choice was fight. 

Thinking about kissing him all those times was not just a stupid silly thought. 

Y/N was hopeless.

"So?" The question was raised suddenly by a voice she recognised immediately.

He was standing right there, in front of her, handing her her jacket.

She happily took it, silently thanking him with a smile before muttering.

"So what?" her eyes looking at him defeated. She liked him and he was just playing. He was just teasing, and look where all that teasing led her. A terrible position she never wanted to be in.

"Am I getting that kiss you so badly want to give me?" Here he goes again. Non-stop teasing.

This time Y/N did not find it in her to fight, not him nor the feelings she finally realized she had.

"You should be more careful with your words Yeonjun, one might think you actually want it, crave it even" she said calmly before chuckling lightly. She was now sitting down on the bench and her gaze was everywhere but the boy's figure.

"As I said when you were storming off, I do think I'd enjoy it" he slowly sat down beside her, surprised by her tone. This felt more like an actual conversation now. It didn't seem like she had any intention of fleeing this time around. Just them two, talking like normal people. It was new and he liked it. He liked it more than words could explain.

"Stop teasing me please, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I won't be bothering you again if you promise me you will leave me alone without uttering any other word that you don't mean" If someone were to pass by and listen very closely, the sound of Yeonjun's heart could be heard as it was cracking and falling apart like glass under extreme heat.

She didn't want to see him anymore, but what was worse is that she didn't think his words were honest. She thought he didn't mean it, ever.

He meant it from the first smile he flashed her, from the first hello he said. The first time he saw her he was struck by lightning and did not feel like himself anymore. All he could do was think about her, all he wanted to do was to speak with her. He did not care if it meant he had to endure rolling eyes and frustrated groans, at the very least he was interacting with you.

"So?" this time she asked the question. Her eyes showed how hurt she was and he could barely look at them.

As he turned to face her, Y/N noticed tears welling up in his eyes. She didn't understand.

"You really think I don't mean it? Y/N you consume my thoughts in the best and worst way ever. I think about you all the time. All I ever want to do is speak with you and I don't care if it means you'll hate me, I won't stop doing it because I am selfish like that. I don't want to feel miserable, and the only way I have to do that is if I speak to you. You can tell me you despise me a thousand times but I won't care as long as you're in front of me, addressing me, acknowledging my presence." As Yeonjun spoke Y/N could not believe his words. 

If it was just minutes ago she would've joked about how "you're so obsessed with me, jeez" but at that moment the expression on Yeonjun's face was making her want to cry. It seemed like he meant it.

He did mean it.

"You like me?" she asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

"I think like is a bit of an understatement at this point..." he chuckled looking into the distance, the palms of his hands rubbing against each other awkwardly.

Y/N moved closer to him. He did not register how close she got until she turned his head towards her with her hand.

They stared at each other, they are not sure for how long. It could have been mere seconds or hours on end. Then she moved closer and finally kissed him. 

She tilted her head as he deepened the kiss. 

Everything felt good. They were finally happy.

[badaseyebags]

͙͘͡★ what is love ¿

minah lee x reader

genre: angst (i’m so sorry😭)

warnings: toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, sa, abuse, trauma, insecurities, god damn there’s so many what the hell

word count: around 1,4k (i toned it down y’all)

author’s note: hello guys i’m so sorry for not publishing frequently, i will try my best to fix it soon. hopefully such a topic isn’t difficult to read and isn’t too taboo. on a real note this is just something that’s always been in the back of my mind and i never got the chance to speak about to anybody, so this feels a little freeing. thank you to all those who read 🫶🏻 promise more stuff (not angst) is coming soon!! 🍞

do you really have no shame? attempting to enter my life over and over without a single care in the world. thinking you could start fresh and break me all over again, just so you could make me feel something towards you. is that why you kept letting me down? because by breaking my heart, you’d have the chance to be the person to glue back the pieces for me? so tell me, do you really regret the pain you’ve caused me? or do you just miss being important to someone who forgives and never changes no matter how much time passes? too bad you’ve lost that spot you’re never gonna get back. maybe you’re this way because of how dirty other people did you in the past, and how much you feared vulnerability. i guess that’s why i never held it against you, instead blamed myself for being weak and getting hurt.

so why is it that i can’t imagine myself becoming someone like you despite all i’ve been through? if pain changes people, why am i still the same person? have i just not been hurt enough? is that why you kept going? after all your words were clear. “one day you will meet someone who will treat you worse and hurt you more, and then you will realise i wasn’t so bad.” those words stuck with me. more than any other words you’ve told me. more than any memories of you, and the words stung worse than your actions themself. younger me never forgave you, so she chose to forget. memories i can’t even recall, memories i am not even sure myself are real. no matter how many times i try, it’s all foggy. as if it never happened, those memories almost feel like they disappeared. i know they’re there, i know they exist. hidden in some drawer that’s locked with a key i don’t recall hiding. maybe i wished too hard to forget you until it became true. that name that made my heart drop when i heard it, now passes from one ear to the other, falling deaf with no reaction. “Minah.” it all means nothing now.

just a word, just a name. yet back then it meant so much to me. back then when i had no clue about what love should and shouldn’t be. now that i’ve learned what it shouldn’t be, am i ready to find out what it should be like? is it in my destiny?

so what exactly is love…? a question i wondered about since i could remember.. it almost feels like that question existed before i could ask myself who i am, who i wanna be, and what even is my name. a question i hear so often, daily, monthly, yearly.. all the time. in person, on the tv, in music, in books, in my mind. perhaps that question was born before i was. is it a feeling? is it a person? is it both? is it neither?

you’d think i’d already have an answer by now, right? maybe my heart is still too childish to understand such a thing, or maybe i’m just too busy trying to protect that “childish” heart from falling into the wrong hands again. somebody who builds a house of cards just to blow them away with a single breath.

I never want to meet another you in different body. another fake promise, another one hundred chances when you didn’t deserve a single one. somebody who doesn’t treasure the idea of love, someone who takes those words so lightly, just for the fun and laughter and their own benefit, according to their needs.

am i scared of love? no, not real love. i’m more scared about not ever finding it. so what exactly prevents me from getting the answer to my question? is it my own brain that’s filled with overthinking? the same brain that keeps telling me once a new person gets to know all my fears, doubts and insecurities, they will disappear and turn into who you are now. just a stranger with movies worth of memories. a stranger who once had my all, and it still wasn’t enough.

was it love when you promised me that one day we would live together in a little house in the country side with nothing to worry about? just us and our promised pets we agreed to raise together? the same promise you later claimed was childish and stupid, saying we were too young to even know what love is?

…you were in the heat of the moment, you didn’t mean it. i assured myself.

was it love when you yelled at me for seeing the photos in your camera roll, the messages popping up on your screen, the phone calls you answered thinking i fell asleep in your arms, telling me it all meant nothing to you and i’m just not in my right mind for accusing you of wrong doings?

…she just didn’t want me to see it and get hurt over assuming the worst, it was just a misunderstanding, i’m sure of it.. i lied to myself.

was it love when you didn’t allow me to leave you and ended up taking everyone i care about away from me? ..she just wanted me all to herself, i lied again.

was it love when you apologised for the way the palm of your hand clashed with my cheeks a bit too often? and when you insulted me over and over again, after you finally stopped claiming it never happened? ..she was probably just too guilty and wanted to forget about it so she could start over. i found comfort in my own lies, in the version of you i hoped you were.

or was it love when you pressured me into doing things i was deeply scared of? things i never wanted to do, things i wasn’t ready for.. things that you knew kept me up at night, as i cried myself to sleep in fear. i just didn’t want you to leave me for those other people who weren’t as slow as me and suddenly.. i stopped believing all those lies and started seeing the truth. and as if it were magic, i was no longer scared of you, or you leaving. i felt relief.

you took so much of me that i lost my self for a second. but you.. you lost me forever.

i thought i’d never be able to insult you, until your name itself became an insult.

my scars have healed, they no longer bleed. but could somebody ever look at them, and still want to show me.. what true love is meant to be?

i have the answer now, you don’t have to tell me. it wasn’t love. it never was, you showed me what love should never look like. what is love though?… that question still remains, and i wonder once again.. is love even meant for someone like me? someone so clumsy and fragile, confused and naive. someone with a heart made of glass. i want love.. i really do.. but the question is, does love want someone as unlovable as me?

so why is my heart still hoping, that one day someone will come into my heart and prove everything you said is wrong. prove my doubts wrong, prove my fears wrong. teach me how to love and experience it all with me. paint my white heart red. little by little, soft shade of pink turning into a deep scarlet. painting it so gently, stroke by stroke. my heart was always a white canvas, waiting to be painted. you stole the paint brush, but not to paint it.. you took it by the other end and stabbed right into it. was it because you wanted me all to yourself? funny enough your brush had no paint on it, and my canvas remains uncoloured. uncoloured but scratched up.. ripped in places it shouldn’t be, covered up by colourful bandaids to hide it all. what kind of a painting could i be now? could i still be beautiful to someone? can someone really paint me to their liking and be proud of the image they created? is a broken canvas still worth colouring? will someone enjoy our shared laughter as much as our shared tears? am i dreaming too hard? please tell me there’s someone out there who will tell me, love is not just a fairytale.

…i whisper as i make a wish upon a shooting star.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

[rjalker]

idk if anybody has said this to u yet but thank u for spreading awareness about how the public domain actually works, if i saw one more "you Have to call him willie and he HAS to be black and white" post i think id have a conniption fit

Thank you! It's very frustrating seeing all the fearmongering misinformation. I've been looking forward to this for the last year, but somehow I didn't realize that so many people had no idea what the Public Domain was at all...

I'm hoping people will actually put in the effort to do research and learn about these things so we don't have this problem every year, rather than everyone jumping on the "lets play attack dog for Disney's lawyers for free by screaming copyright infringement at every drawing of Mickey Mouse" bandwagon.

Like. It is baffling in the extreme how many people have instantly turned into corporate attack dogs over things that they do not in any way understand, but somehow they think they're being anticapitalist by doing so? They think they're being progressive by leaping to fearmonger and uphold Disney's stranglehold over the Public Domain by spreading fearmongering and misinformation that...literally didn't even exist before five days ago.

People now think that because Mickey Mouse is Public Domain, this somehow magically means it's literally illegal to draw Mickey Mouse in any way. It's confounding. And its just showing how deep the corporate propaganda runs. And I'm really really hoping people will start waking up and realizing how fucked up their reactions to this is and start actually learning about the Public Domain instead of immediately just spreading blatant misinformation about it that a five second google search will dispel.

I've now had to see four people proclaiming, with utmost self-righteous confidance, that celebrating the Public Domain, and celebrating that Mickey Mouse is Public Domain, is "corporate bootlicking for Disney" and "free advertising for Disney".

Because these people saw everyone saying not to give JK Rowling free advertising by continuing to celebrate her characters when the books have bigotry baked into them, and now think that they can just say the same thing about anything no matter what the context, even when they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Disney has done so much to destroy awareness of the Public Domain that people are now convinced that celebrating the Public Domain...is capitalistic greed. Really makes you wish werewolf transformations were in real life because god fucking damn do I want to maul some billionaires.

I am once again begging everyone, as a bare bones beginning, to their understanding of the Public Domain, to go watch this presentation by the Internet Archive from 2019 if you're able to. (Some of them have subtitles, some of them don't, I'm going to ask if they have a transcript)

Here's a relevant clip from video 14.

[ID: A short video clip of Joseph Gratz at the 2019 Internet Archive conference about the Public Domain, sitting in a yellow chair as he speaks, saying and gesturing along with his words: "That's the, uh, official, maybe impractical strategy. The unofficial, um, more practical strategy is...be bold! Right?" [applause] "If you're acting in good faith, people are not going, ah, most copyright holders are people of good faith, who do not want to go after people who are acting in good faith, who are not harming their legitimate economic interests. And so if you're doing something, even pretty boldly, that is, that you believe and have a basis to believe, uh, and a reasonable basis to believe is in the Public Domain, or is fair use -- going out and doing it is the way, um, is the way forward, rather than being endlessly afraid." His speech ends, there's a short pause, then more applause. End ID.]

[dear-departed]

Hellooooo :) I wanted to make a request for Obey Me! but I am unsure if you would be willing to write for the idea that I have. I saw on your rules that you are somewhat okay with morbid themes and idk if you would consider this morbid and I completely understand if you arent comfortable with this.

But how would the brothers react to an MC who has killed another human before? Either in self defense or in defense of a sibling/friend... like they completely snapped and lost control when it happened and didnt realize what they were doing until it was over.

Desc.: MC has killed in self defense. How will the brothers react to a human with blood on their hands? Warnings for descriptions of violence.

Word count: 1.1k

Genre: Fluff mostly. Headcanons

Character(s): All 7 demon brothers. Brief mention of Diavolo. A/N: I haven't played the game in a while. If there's any new stuff that came out and I'm unaware of it, I apologize in advance. Also I'm terribly sorry for putting off my inbox for so long.

                Frankly, most of the brothers aren’t bothered, regardless of if it was self defense or not. After all, demons aren’t very known for having a strong moral compass.

                Lucifer is likely the most concerned. He wants Lord Diavolo’s plans to play out just as he envisioned them, and making peace with both the celestial realm and mortal plane is difficult if everyone is aware that the exchange student is a killer. He tells you to keep it down low. “I will not tolerate any rumors circulating. If anybody goes digging to find out, notify me, and I will deal with them swiftly.” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, but giving off the impression that he’s curious about your mortal life would be unprofessional and humiliating. And after all, he has everything on your profile, so why would he need to ask? He doesn’t offer protection; he simply assumes you’re aware that you’re safe under his watch. If something else happens, he’s there within no time. Fuming, so much so that you’re afraid he might create another Satan.                 Mammon thinks you’re badass. I mean, within the thousands of years all the brothers have lived, it’s natural that all of them have led to the demise of at least one other person. But humans? It’s rare you find a human who has directly ended the life of another, with their own two hands. He can’t help himself but ask. One of those days where he can’t find it in him to leave you alone. “So… what’d you use? A knife? Yer hands? Not that I care, or anything… I just want to know! I should be the first to know. I’m your first, after all.” Sits his happy ass on your bed and kicks his feet back and forth like the bbg he is.                 Leviathan is only human. Well… only demon. He’s allowed to be curious, and by God, he is. He can’t help but compare you to every goddamn anime and manga and video game under the sun. He makes assumptions, rather than asking, primarily because you can’t get a word in edgewise from all his theories. “Y-You killed them with a phone cord, right? Or wait— a knife; so, you can get that perfect camera pan from the body to the blood shining off you…” He’s close to having a nosebleed right there, imagining the cinematics. Honestly, he’d be a good play or movie director if he had some more flexibility. Luckily, though, he doesn’t think you’re a normie. What kind of normie kills another person? Exactly.                 Satan, like Leviathan, has a lot of theories and questions. The self-proclaimed detective of the House of Lamentation has many questions… even if it already was a solved-and-shut case. “What did you use? Was that hatred festering in your body for a while? No, not at all, it couldn’t have… you said it was in self-defense. Perhaps, a crime of passion when you got them under you? Crime is a strong word, however… a homicide of passion. It sounds like something out of a book, to be frank. It couldn’t have been those feeble excuses for self-defense, like pepper spray, or those tasers you humans have… no, it had to have been lethal.” To be honest, he starts talking to himself rather than you. “I’ve figured it out! You were getting mugged, a dim alleyway, later than your normal route as you had to stay longer for work… It was a lone thug, an inexperienced criminal… they threatened you with one of those airsoft guns with the orange tips pried off. After all, such a newbie would be far too afraid to take another human life. Of course, you only knew that after they were dead… you pepper-sprayed them, and in a bout of fright and the frantic urge to survive, you beat them to death with a nearby brick!”

“… Sure, Satan. Right on the money.” You reply, thumb and forefinger squeezing the bridge of your nose.                 Asmodeus is under the impression you’re some big bad brute. You know, he has a thing for dangerous people like you… to be fair, he has a thing for just about any type of person, but let him flirt, alright. He’s more than content to listen to your story while he paints your nails or does whatever the hell he wants with your hair. He reacts in an animated manner, truly enthralled. “Oh really?” “Awe, I bet that was gross!” “You took care of yourself after, right? That skin of yours?” He scolds you for not taking care of yourself if you fell into a depression after the incident. “You neglected yourself that much? Shame, shame!” Of course, it’s all lighthearted. If you’re up for it, a bottle of demonus and/or a bottle of human wine? He loves gossip and wine, two of his favorite things aside from beauty and expensive skincare and makeup. And sex. And strip clubs, and partying- okay, he has a lot of favorite things.

                Beelzebub is a family man, no doubt about it. You get scary dog privileges just from being around him. A hulking beast of a man, who just wants you to share a nice meal with him. He doesn’t care to probe or ask questions, but he’ll certainly lend an ear if you want to talk. The only thing is that he stares directly into your face as you talk, hand absentmindedly reaching around into a bag of chips or a bowl of snacks. He offers them to you, “snacks always make me feel better, here.” He vows to make sure nobody tries to harm you, and does he sure fucking live up to that promise. Nobody tries to poke fun, much less harm you, when he’s around. And if they do something while he’s around the corner? Oh boy, he’ll toss them around like a bag of potatoes.                

                Belphegor asks you to talk him to sleep oftentimes. Not that your voice is boring, just that he finds it calming. He slowly dozes off and you take the chance to get out some of the emotions haunting you, some of the images in your head of the lifeless body of your attacker laying on the floor, or the red and blue flashing lights. You start talking to him. Retelling the story, trying to fill in some of the details that have eluded you, things you looked over in your panic when it had first happened. Something that is so soothing to him, your voice, manages to draw him out of his slumber. He keeps his eyes closed, but his brain awake He doesn’t mean to pretend to be asleep, he doesn’t care if you know he’s awake or not, he’s just too tired to face the light. “… humans disgust me.” He remarks, drawing you out of your retelling. “…not you. Not you, of course. The person that attacked you, they disgust me. I hope their soul rots and grows maggot infested.” He scowls quietly.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

Okay Aelin’s plan at the end of EOS was complete bullshit for so many reasons, all of which can be lumped under 3 larger categories.

1) Probability of success during the war

This is limited, as they mentioned in the books, but Lys’s ability to trick people into thinking she’s Aelin lasts about as long as it takes for them to need her fire powers. The point of pretending Aelin was alive was to help morale and keep the bad guys from learning that she was out of the picture, but if your supposed “fire breathing” savior queen doesn’t show a single spark of power, even when a battle turns dire, that’s arguably worse for morale and does nothing to rally the people. Martyring Aelin & saying she died arguably would’ve been a better choice for this purpose.

Strategy is a huge part of war. Someone like Aelin, with magic as powerful as hers (especially bc of how effective a weapon fire was against Erawan’s forces), would be treated as a battalion all her own. War strategy relies on knowing every player on the board, every move that needs to be made. Generals (like Aedion) are factoring Aelin’s powers into a battle (how it’s fought, chances of success, etc) which means innumerable deaths and devastating losses when that power doesn’t show face. It’s actively harming the war effort — imagine if you thought you had a nuke but then it turns out your strongest weapon is a nerf gun and nobody fucking told you…

2) Aedion & Lysandra’s involvement

Was Aedion justified for how he treated Lysandra? No. Was he justified in being that angry? Yes. Lys knew what she was getting into, understood the sacrifices she was making to execute Aelin’s idiotic doppleganger plan, but nobody told Aedion. He was going to have to sleep with Lysandra just for his goddamn genetics like some prize cattle and, in one fell swoop, lost the woman he loves and cousin he should have sworn his life to. It’s also implied in EOS that he has some sexual trauma in his past, having slept with people to move up Adarlan’s ranks as fast as he did, which makes the role they expect him to play even more fucked up. Lysandra’s essentially sacrificing her entire life and any possible chance at the happy ending she wants(which, btw, I can’t fathom asking of anybody, but at least she agreed to do it on her own…I guess)

3) The likelihood (& morality) of continuing the deception post-KOA

This entire plan moving into the future hinges on some weird ideas about genetics. Yes, the “Ashryver traits” seem to be dominant and there’s a high chance of Lysaedion’s children looking like Aedion… but if they don’t? What then, pass them off as bastards? That would mean they don’t get the throne. It’s also pretty well established that magical abilities follow the same heritability as physical traits but neither Lysandra nor Aedion has magic that could be passed off as a child of Rowan/Aelin. The best case scenario is that the kids inherit Aedion’s lack of magic and it’s all seen as some cruel joke from the gods, that the offspring of two such powerful magic wielders didn’t get any of their parents’ abilities. The worst (and most likely) case is that the kids turn out to be shape-shifters and they’re still written off as bastards…so they don’t get the throne.

The other problem with putting a false queen on the throne lies in the fucking morality of it all. Aelin’s whole claim to the throne relied on divine right (or some fantasy version of it) and the idea that people who are born to a throne have the inimitable right to rule. Darrow had the right idea in QOS when he told Aelin that she didn’t have the proper upbringing to be a queen, to rule a country, and her only argument against him was “weLL iM AeLiN aShRyVEr gaLAtHyNiUS.” As though that means anything in terms of all the knowledge, temperament, and responsibility required of being a GODDAMN QUEEN.

So if Aelin deserves queenhood purely because of circumstances of birth and blood, what are they achieving by putting a lowborn shapeshifter and her illegitimate children on the throne? Does that not go against everything that was supposedly so important? It seems more like Aelin only cares about the appearance of herself/her family sitting the throne of Terrassen, which is fine as far as writing an interesting character goes, but that’s a sinister kind of corruption that should be acknowledged for what it is. If she truly wanted what was best she would let Darrow and the other northern lords lead it (or at least put Aedion on the throne working with them) because they were the ones helping Terrassen through those ten horrible years and they have the power and experience to bring the kingdom back to its former glory.

SJM writing a plan that was so clearly not going to succeed is lazy writing. She knew it didn’t have to be a foolproof plan bc she knew Aelin was going to survive & be rescued (duh) but the fact of the matter is, an author’s actions and thoughts become the characters’ actions and thoughts. To make such a poorly-thought out plan then to present it through the narrative as some kind of genius move on Aelin’s part is…bad writing. It’s just bad writing.

[nothingenoughao3]

Victor Frankenstein-Reanimator

Since whether or not a thing is a fanwork, or fannish, or fanfic has been doing the rounds lately, I thought I'd contribute my take.

This started because @andalusiapunk and I were debating the merits and demerits (mostly demerits) of classifying "Frankenstein" as fanfic. This led us to consulting different academic definitions of fanworks. I was technically the devil's advocate, but not because I believed "Frankenstein" was a fanfic--it had to do with a related point, which I'll make by asking another question.

Why isn't Lovecraft's "Herbert West-Reanimator" fanfiction?

"Reanimator" was openly labeled by Lovecraft as an homage/pastiche/parody of "Frankenstein"... terms now often used to describe fanfic. He wove references to literary works Shelley quoted/relied on... a tactic also used by fic writers to ground their works in the original canon. The cultural impact of "West" primarily lies in "Frankenstein" adaptations, for 'Victor as a total madman with a slavishly-devoted assistant who hates and fears him for reasons unclear in the text' is not even slightly justified in the original work... but that is the plot of "Reanimator". Similar to how Kirk Drift will occur in fandoms where headcanons displace the original characterizations.

So what gives? What makes "Reanimator" an original work? It can't just be "capitalism", my original answer, because "Frankenstein" was very much licensed back in its day.

The difference, I feel, is that writers used to have a sense of ownership over their words, but not their ideas.

Lovecraft didn't own the Cthulhu Mythos, and he didn't originate a lot of its ideas. Most of what we refer to as the "King in Yellow" aspects of the Mythos actually originated with Robert W. Chalmers... who also borrowed and reworked terms, such as the name Carcosa, from other writers of weird fiction. Much of what we think of as codified and settled canon in the Cthulhu Mythos also came from August Derleth's works.

IOW these weird fiction writers considered publication to be something they could profit off of, but also the moment where their own ideas became available to inspire others. It does not seem to have occurred to any of them to sue, or threaten to sue, someone else who worked the Necronomicon into their story--for that was the point, tricking readers into thinking the book was real because so many disparate authors claimed it existed. (Which, for God's sake, actually worked.)

This relates to some of the action we saw on the Holmes front in the past few years. For decades, the Doyle estate claimed (incorrectly and illegally, IMO) that they controlled the ideas behind the later parts of the Canon, and not just the words. Accordingly, you could write original fiction featuring Holmes, Watson, et al., so long as you didn't refer to or rely on those later works without permission. If you wrote something for that part of the Canon, it was fanfiction.

Recently, their hold expired. Now you can publish original works referencing the latter part of the Canon. (I'm going to get around to publishing mine, which is, funnily enough, a Sherlock Holmes vs. The King In Yellow tale.) But there was nothing meaningfully different between one year and the next--solely the perception that, legally, the estate could no longer force people to label their works as fanfiction.

The strict definition of "fanfiction" involves writing based on works that are licensed to another entity--meaning, somebody else has the publishing rights. But again, Shelley had the publishing rights to "Frankenstein", and Lovecraft had the publishing rights to "The Festival"... but it never seemed to occur to either them or the holders of their literary estates to demand that publishers quash anybody writing pastiches, parodies, or works referencing corpse-construction or the Book of the Dead.

Whether or not fanfiction is forbidden by license holders is immaterial to whether or not fanfiction exists. We see Gaiman approving of fanfic all the time, which (not to accuse him of anything untoward, because it's fine for him to do this) does have the convenient effect of nobody trying to profit off tales of Aziraphale and Crowley. Notoriously, Anne Rice used to send cease-and-desist letters to fanwriters, -artists, and archivists who produced works related to the Vampire series. This did not stop fannish works from being created. But it did create a category of "fanfiction", which could be defined as "anything related to the Vampire series which was not produced by or approved of by Anne Rice". Conveniently, Gaiman has the same definition of fanfiction for "Good Omens": anything not written by or considered canon by Gaiman is fanfic.

"Reanimator" is not fanfic because the license holders of Shelley's works didn't think of it as fannish. Because, in part, the category of "fanfiction"--despite attempts at legitimizing fics by retconning various stories as such--was an invention of, primarily, Paramount to differentiate between "legitimate" Star Trek-related writing and the "illegitimate". Which stories they were willing to take a cut of and which stories were banished to the shadow realm of zines.

What makes a work fanfic, then, is whether or not the license holders consider it to be fanfic.

Which, when you think of it, is a sobering thought.

[etoilesombre]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @hms-tardimpala <3

I have noooo idea who has done this already, so tagging @lichfucker @frau-kali @tiofrean @lupismaris @verdanthoney no pressure, also anybody else who wants to

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 18

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 257,419

3. What fandoms do you write for? 95% Black Sails. I have one story for Fetch Phillips Archives, one for the tv show of The Exorcist, and I've committed to one for A Charm of Magpies (book series)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? long as amber of ember glows, to pull me from myself again, The Salt and the Sea, Another Way, Such Terrible Hungers

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Absolutely! I love talking about these guys, my writing, fandom in general, anything, and if somebody takes the time to comment i want them to know its appreciated. that said i DO either miss some sometimes or just get overwhelmed with life but it is always my intention.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uhhh for all the angst IN the stories i'm actually secretly a softie i usually leave things pretty good. but. ok if we're doing story not series, then its definitely A Composite Unity

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Princes of the New World, the end there is PURE wish fulfillment in a way I had never done before and likely never will again. Wanna see Silver be a pretty princess and then get fucked so good it breaks canon? Also Kittenfic if you want something that is actually not smut for once. Yes it has actual kittens. It is sad and sweet and i think reasonably plausible in canon, but. It was written for a ficfest prompt "betsy has kittens and silver adopts them on maroon island.'

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not yet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? OH BOY DO I lol. I'm not gonna say this is what I'm here for, but, sex is definitely one of my main lenses for exploring character dynamics and psychology. 'What kind' has varied a lot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not yet, though I've done some concepting. I got pretty far into planning a Hannibal/Black Sails crossover with a friend (set in Black Sails canon era) and that concept still haunts me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?  No

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? Lol. You mean, the whole reason I ever started writing at all? Yeah, Silverflint. I'm Still Processing.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uhh ot3 swimming

16. What are your writing strengths? Making fic feel true to canon. Dialogue, character exploration through sex.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Showing things in summary rather than getting into every damn detail. Heavily plotted fic, fic that covers a long period of time. At least, these are things I don't do intuitively and have not yet pushed myself to do? Also imagery, my writing is pretty functional.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Absolutely fine, but do it well. Which to me means, if it is not a language you speak fluently, google translate is not enough, ask a native speaker to review it. Also, needs to be there for a reason. There's gonna be some Spanish in longfic once I finally get back to it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Black Sails.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? Oh god I really don't know if I can pick. Honestly it might be By Faith of My Body, the one where pining!Flint and Madi have highly fraught conversations about books. But that's what I'm working on now and its possible 'favorite' is just 'whatever's in front of my face.'

[leiasources]

a walk to remember sentence starters. (part one) a compilation of sentence starters from and inspired by a walk to remember (2002). feel free to adjust as necessary but do not add to the list. thank you!

‘ i'm sorry i haven't treated [ name ] the way i should have. they deserve more than that. ’

‘ it's like the wind… i can't see it but i feel it. i feel wonder and love and joy and beauty. it's the center of everything. ’

‘ when i lost them, i was afraid that my heart would never open again. ’

‘ well, my parents aren't home, if you want to come inside. ’

‘ i'm not going anywhere. please tell [ name ] that. ’

‘ maybe you inspire me. ’

‘ i'm not applying to college. ’

‘ i do not need a reason to be angry with god. ’

‘ [ name ], your behavior is sinful. ’

‘ that boy's dangerous, he's careless, he's the worst kind of bully. ’

‘ it's different with her, okay? she makes me want to be different. better. ’

‘ will you do something for me? will you marry me? ’

‘ do you want to buy some raffle tickets? we're trying to raise enough money so we can buy the school some new computers. ’

‘ i thought i saw something in you, something good… but i was very wrong. ’

‘ it's the quiet ones you got to watch out for. ’

‘ listen, [ name ], i was hoping we could run lines together. ’

‘ i came to say that i'm sorry. ’

‘ [ name ]'s asking me for help? okay, i'll pray for you. ’

‘ it's like she chose you, and you may not understand why, but i do. ’

‘ number one on my list is… getting out of [ place ]. ’

‘ why, you're [ name ]. you sit at lunch table seven, which isn't exactly the reject table but is definitely in self - exile territory. ’

‘ be back in an hour, alright? don't flake. ’

‘ hey… your mom called me. talk to me. ’

‘ okay, so you don't care about classes or graduating, but you like school because you're popular and you'll never be on top again? ’

‘ you are a child. ’

‘ you know i'm just messing with you, right? i'm going to be there opening night, front row, and you can count on it. ’

‘ sending a check once a month doesn't exactly make him my father. ’

‘ oh my god, look who's here. ’

‘ your acting didn't suck too bad. ’

‘ [ name ], i love you. ’

‘ what do you want, [ name ]? i've known you for years. you've never been the first one to come up and say hello. ’

‘ you couldn't pull this off if you had three months, man. ’

‘ it's time for you to start experiencing other things, start spending time with other kinds of people. ’

‘ don't even worry about it, okay? order whatever you want. ’

‘ she's the best person i've ever known. ’

‘ i don't think getting out is going to be a problem. it's more like figuring out what you're going to do when you get somewhere. ’

‘ i might kiss you. ’

‘ stop acting childish. ’

‘ [ name ]… i'm trying here, okay? ’

‘ the custodian thing kind of suits you. ’

‘ i thought we might get a bite after the show. ’

‘ i can't wait to see you in some stage makeup. that's going to be kind of cool. ’

‘ you can do anything. ’

‘ how do you know about that? you read about it in your precious book? ’

‘ i need help… with my lines. ’

‘ no, no, you know the real reason why you're scared? it's 'cause you want to be with me too. ’

‘ is this your idea of small talk or something? because if it is, your social skills need some work. ’

‘ i would tell you… but then i would have to kill you. ’

‘ i made you do too many things, i kept you out- ’

‘ are you sure you're okay? ’

‘ maybe… maybe i miss spending time with you. ’

‘ love? believe me, you don't want to go falling in love with someone like me. ’

‘ come on, [ name ], nothing's changed. it's over. ’

‘ so, would it kill you to try? ’

‘ are you scared? ’

‘ butterfly, rosebud, or star? ’

‘ your act only works on an audience. ’

‘ einstein said the more he studied the universe, the more he believed in a higher power. ’

‘ you've obviously never asked anybody for help before, right? ’

‘ okay, one foot here, one foot there… now, you're straddling the state line. you're in two places at once. ’

‘ listen.. thanks for letting me come over and run lines. ’

‘ you know i got three weeks to memorize this stuff? ’

‘ i'm so sorry. i really should have told you sooner. ’

[foreverrogers]

Hii Hayes!!!

Congrats on 1.5k!! 🥰🥳 Very well deserved indeed. I love your work ❤️

I'm here to ask for some austen if you feel up for it. I was out of ideas for quotes so I went into my notes app and I found this from The Cruel Prince by Holly Black:

It turns out that having kissed someone, the possibility of kissing hangs over everything, no matter how terrible an idea it was the first time.

I was wondering if you could write something on it with Jeb Pyre (or any of your other characters I love them all).

Love ❤️🥰

thank you thank you hun!!! i don't think I've ever written a blurb so fast, this quote is so perfect!

cw: post utboh, smoking, drunken kissing, allusions to loss of faith, very brief mention of hitting knuckles as a punishment {1.5k}

austen - the queen of romance. send me a favourite quote of yours (can be anything! books, poetry, plays, songs) and I'll make it the theme of a little blurb/dialogue

he had been drunk. the first time, at least. he still wasn't used to being drunk, had spent so many years being told it was a sin.

maybe it was a sin, but he didn't care anymore.

wanting you felt a little bit like that, too. like it was wrong, like you were something out of bounds he should feel bad indulging in, made him feel like a child sneaking treats out of the pantry when nobody was looking, waiting for somebody to come scold him, hit his knuckles until they couldn't reach anymore.

it didn't help that you were younger than him, not much but just enough for it to make everything feel a little scandalous, the pretty young thing at the front desk who had caught his eye on day one.

he had felt worse about it, then, when you had first met, about seeing you and immediately wondering what you felt like, what you smelt like, what you tasted like.

he got to find out all those things, eventually, in the alley of a cop bar at midnight during a retirement party. he had watched you slip out of the back door, finds you lit by the dim, flickering yellow of the street lights and the faint glow of your cigarette. god, you were bad. bad for him. a bad idea. reaching, knuckles waiting to be hit.

you smile at him when you see him approaching, all wide and warm, red painted lips curving deliciously.

he smiles back, smaller, a little less sure. he might be drunk, but he wasn't far gone enough to not realise he was encroaching on dangerous territory just by being here with you, alone in the dark. he still wasn't even sure if you thought about him like that, the way he thought about you, takes all the half glances he had caught over the past couple of months and calls them circumstantial evidence at best.

there's no greeting as he slides next to you, back pressed to the steady brick wall. all you do is offer him your cigarette, already burned halfway down and stained lightly with your lipstick.

"i don't smoke, but thank you, though."

you don't relent, keep your hands stretched between you, ash swaying slowly to the ground. "can you be tempted?" by more than a cigarette, yes.

he looks from the cigarette to you, watches the flutter of your lashes and those doe eyes looking up at him and thinks you must be doing this on purpose, putting on a show to draw him in, doesn't think anybody could look this beautiful without trying.

he takes the nub between his fingers without looking away from you, brings it to his lips with a long, steady inhale.

you start to grin at him, at some point in the seconds of his inhale, giddy realisation that he's done this before.

so maybe he had smoked, just a little, a few puffs behind the station when things got especially stressful, enough to take the edge off but not enough to come home smelling like smoke. you wouldn't mind, he thinks, if it was you he was coming home to.

"thought you said you didn't smoke."

jeb exhales, unwavering, relaxes against the building, proves to calm the hot anxiety spreading through his veins at this new proximity to you. "it can be our secret."

your smile softens, and you study his face so intently it makes his throat close up a little.

"needed a break?" he asks, just so he can change the subject, so he can break you out of whatever puzzle of him you were putting together in your mind. "from in there?"

he offers you the cigarette, and you accept it with a hum of agreement. "i don't think the wives like me very much," you mutter, look away to breathe in one last drag before snubbing it out against the brick. "don't trust me. think all i am is a skirt and a smile to distract their husbands."

jeb doesn't know what to say, and so he doesn't say anything.

there's nothing to do now, with the cigarette gone, has to give you his whole attention when you meet his eyes again. "do you find me distracting, jeb?"

there's silence, long and heavy.

jeb doesn't know what to say, and so he kisses you.

there's no delay, no surprise. you kiss him back like you had been expecting it all along, hooking your fingers into his loosened tie and pulling him to you until he's pressing you against the wall.

you're soft, like he knew you would be, soft where his hand comes up to cup your cheek and his arm moves to wrap around your waist. you taste like smoke and liquor and sugar and you smell the same, too, the sweet cut of your perfume and your lip gloss.

jeb doesn't remember the last time he kissed someone, but he sure as hell knows he's never kissed anyone like this, hot and hot and hot, molten honey dripping from your tongue.

the heavy back door opens with a screech, and by the time the two drunken officers stumble out of the bar jeb's already sprung to the opposite side of the alley.

they both fall past without noticing you, or the thick tension they walk right through, tripping over their own feet and into the deserted main road.

jeb's not sure if he's blanched or if he's blushing, but either way he's glad you can't tell under the dim lights.

he knows by the way you watch him as he walks into the station the next morning that you remember everything clear as day. jeb can, too, does more than just remembers it, can still feel you all over him like a haunting reminder of his indiscretions.

if he thought you were distracting before, he was unprepared for how distracting you were when you were trying. and you were really trying, always coming up with new ways to corner him, to get him alone in the copy room or the break room or even just walk past him in the corridor, brush arms without catching his eye.

every time he would try not to look at you, and every time he would fail, would find your eyes already lingering and the quirk of a smile on your lips. he tries not to watch the curl of those lips, tries not to think about kissing you again.

he gets the overwhelming feeling that you're playing with him, a dangerous game of cat and mouse he's certain he's losing, on the precipice of getting eaten alive.

it's a deserted night, a sunday, and with no one to go home to jeb stays at work long after the sun has set over the mountains.

when he walks into the car park you're leaning against the hood of his car. you smile at him, like you had in the alley. you're even wearing the same lipstick. "i was starting to think you might be living at your desk."

"just, uh..." jeb furrows his brows at you, steps slowing until he pauses a safe distance away, taken aback, undeniably confused. "had a lot of paperwork to catch up on... are you... okay?"

"yeah, 'course i am," you're still smiling, sickly sweet, tone almost too innocent, the type of innocence that only exists to hide something wicked underneath. "i just didn't really feel like going home by myself, so i was wondering if you wanted to... do something tonight."

he almost misses it. by myself. "... together?"

your smile brightens, amusement in your eyes now, and you breathe a gentle laugh as you tilt your head. "yes?"

jeb has to clear his throat, tries not to draw too much attention to the way he loosens his tie a little, an attempt to remember how to breathe again. "uh, what did you have in mind?"

"i don't know, anything, really. dinner? movie?" and, after a few beats, "or you could just take me home, if you'd like."

jeb gapes at you, just slightly, the lightest purse of his lips, and he doesn't mean to but he also can't seem to stop.

"don't look so scared," you smile, back to playing that faux innocence. it's sheer now, though, jeb can see exactly what's underneath, and it takes a lot more restraint than he's willing to admit to not give into it immediately. you take a slow step forward, and then another, soft clack of your heels against the concrete ringing in his ears. "i don't bite, promise."

jeb still hasn't closed his mouth, and now you're close enough that he thinks you might actually act upon it when you look at his lips. he speaks, only because if he kisses you again he's not sure he'll be able to stop. "dinner sounds nice."

come join my 1.5k sleepover!

[moonlightdancer26]

why the heck do marauder stans hate dumbledore so much???? I see some arguments that dumbledore should’ve taken Harry to hogwarts instead of the dureslys? which doesn’t make any sense because 1. its a school, and who would be there to take care of Harry? 2. The only reason he was with the dureslys was because of blood wards that prevented him from getting found out by DEs and Voldemort and everyone from james side wad dead

which was smart because Ann and Frank got tortured after Voldemort disappeared so imagine what would’ve happened to Harry if he was put with literally anybody else

They also act like it was only Dumbledores fault that sirius got imprisoned and saying dumbledore ‘always has a say’ and he was more powerful that the minister of magic????

like mf were we reading the same book??? I can name several things where he said something and no one did shit + threatened him for it

theres also the thing thT Remus didn’t say anything to dumbledore about Sirius not rattling them out because both of them know Sirius is very fully capable of murder like when he tried to murder snape because he existed or smth

If remus did I feel that would be relevant and Remus never said anything about Sirius being an anigamus too for some reason

anyways sorry because I started ranting and probably sounding confusing

good day 👍

I’ve asked myself that same question for god knows how long, anon.

All their arguments are very irritating. The main reason I seek out Dumbles-defence and defend him for some of his actions is because of this very reason. Marauder stans’ arguments stem from bias and pursuing to avert the blame, but the funny thing is I’ve seen them blame him for things he had absolutely nothing to do with. I genuinely have no idea what they hold against him so much. I say all this as a Dumbledore hater (I consider myself more of a skeptic but that’s not the point), he did do a lot of things in canon that undeniably deserve criticism, but 97% of the things this fandom the Marauders fandom hate him for are far-fetched and are not canon. For the most part, I can only ever accept Dumbles bashing from Snape fans.

I do agree that he should’ve done something about the Dursleys’ abuse (seriously, screw him for that), but Harry still had to stay there for the blood protection. He most certainly should not have left baby!Harry unattended for a decade with people whom he knew were awful, but Harry had to stay. Dumbledore didn’t want Harry to know of the Wizarding World’s existence before he turned 11.

And no, it was not Dumbledore’s fault. Sure, you could argue he had something to do with it, but you can’t pin the blame solely on him. There were many catalysts for James and Lily’s death and Sirius’s imprisonment—most of all Voldemort and Peter. Dumbles had a lot less power in the Wizarding government than people like to think he did.

Remus not going to Albus and not begging for a trial only further empathises how bad of a person Sirius must’ve been. He was really that bad of a person that EVERYONE—including one of his best friends and the entire OoTP—had no problem believing that Sirius joined Lord Voldemort, betrayed James and Lily to death, and would have murdered baby!Harry too. I mean, it’s not like Sirius denied the crime (that was so stupid of him tbh), but y’all are really telling me that no one thought “huh.. something doesn’t seem right”? Does this fandom not realise how bad that implies Sirius was???

Don’t worry, anon, I get what you’re trying to say. Thank you for your ask, have a nice day.

[im-smart-i-swear]

What's your favourite FNIN book and why?

IM GLAD YOU ASKED-

its 'trzecia kuzynka'!

it just really stands out of the series, starting with the setting: - instead of Warsaw, a big city, the whole book takes place in the polish mountains(which ones??? who knows. i dont). usually the action of fnin books takes place in a big city(there are exceptions to this rule ofc) but this time the closest urban area is a small town.

the feeling of uneasiness also shows itsel in the book's cast. in most books we have a bunch of reoccuring characters: felix and net's parents, teachers, classmates - but here the only other familiar person is manfred(and even still hes not as prevelant bc theres no internet and stuff). just like the trio, the reader doesnt know anybody. theyre alone. everyone and everything here is strange and the lack of familiar faces only makes it more apparent. theres also the fact that when usually the trio are the best informed and oriented people in a given situation, here theyre.... lost. everyone(alright maybe not everyone, but you get the point) has secrets and hidden motives.

another thing is how the trio separates - although thats not uncommon in fnin, the way they do it is dffrent from usual - instead of net and felix having another one of their dramatic breakups, its nika who distances herself from her friends. thats also another thing i love about 'trzecia kuzynka' - the way it focuses on nika and her relationship with f&n. the change of setting allows for the common 'what if people find out nika is an orphan' thing to fade into the background for once, wnich means theres room to explore other aspects of nikas life and personality. her lack of friends aside from felix&net, her emphaty and selflesnes, her persistance to do the right thing - all those qualities are allowed to shine here and its great!

this book subverts expectations of a long time fnin reader and it feels so fresh and unique beacuse of that. the way the tension gradually builds up as more and more weird things happen makes it so fun to read! and, in a truly shocking twist, morten isnt behind everything this time!!(i know, impossible). even the fact the trio is separated during the finale instead of sticking toghether as per usual - 'trzecia kuzynka' flips the typical fnin formula on its head and i love it.

the new side characters are pretty cool too! when i first read this book, i thought laura's very cool - and honestly i still think that - she has a motive here, shes doing her own thing, and also shes hilarious. the others are pretty entertaining too! oh, and how could i forget - the 'false trio'. oh my frickin god the reveal of them being secret fucking agents was glorious-

and one other thing i have to mention - the horrors. there are times while reading this book when i have to stop and ask myself 'wait.why is this actually scary.' in other books there are moments or longer scary scenes, sure, but the one is dripping with tension and anticipation from start to finish, and the finale is the perfect culmination of that. there are so many scenes that just stuck with me - the graveyard, laura's mam-moth(get it) story, the whole castle sequence(i was a bit uncomfortable tho..), the reveal of the giANT FUCKING *THING* UNDER THE HOUSE-, and of course the entirety of nika's side of the finale!

i have no idea what other people think about this book, but i absolutely love it!(crap now i want to reread it for the gazillionth time)

thank you for the ask!

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 13: WE VISIT THE JUNKYARD OF THE GODS

"I think I do want that break now," Thalia said before she could talk herself out of this.

Will set the book aside without hesitation and Percy looked as relieved for her sake as he did anxious as ever at the spine, like he'd sleep with it under his pillow just to make sure he didn't miss a word.

Nobody pointed out they'd just taken a break thankfully, but the problem was everybody had just eaten and she didn't have a way to casually pull Nico aside without it being obvious.

The kid actually helped her out though and excused himself to the bathroom. Thalia sighed in relief and muttered the same, mentally thanking Hades and promising she owed his boy a cookie.

He came out with a look on his face like he was reconsidering whatever he'd last eaten, and not a hint of shock to see Thalia hovering.

"I know how to read a map," he wasn't looking at her so much as glaring at her shoulder. "There's not a lot of desert left going east. I was expecting it in the last one, but that toy was never mentioned so, it'll be soon."

Thalia had no idea what he was talking about with a toy, who had described that automaton to him like that? She also still had a bone to pick with him over what he did and didn't know about Jason.

He just looked so troubled right now it would be cruel to say anything else. He had Bianca's sharp brown eyes that had watched every fight between her and Zoe, biting her lip and clearly thinking about intervening. He was tapping the grip of his sword like his sister had twining that knife about despite Zoe's crazy driving on that bus.

"Thank you for how you've been handling this," she told him uneasily. "I can't imagine how you've been feeling..." She couldn't begin to guess if Jason was here by accident, let alone if she was going to have to suffer his backstory in one of those mysterious other books and how she'd react to all that. "I don't know if you and Percy are friends exactly," Annabeth had told her multiple times Nico was an entity to himself around camp, avoiding everybody the few times he was there. He could have been making this a lot worse on them all. "If there's anything I can do to help with, well not just, um, this, but, anything?"

"Thanks," he echoed with a restless shrug. "I'd rather just get this over with." The nonexistent lighting flickered in the room, and she looked anxiously at the door. Percy was probably getting impatient.

She hustled out of the room, but her mind still lingered on his perfected impassive face he'd gotten straight from his dad. She tried to tell herself even if Nico had any prior knowledge of what Jason had been up to, there was a good chance he wouldn't know why she would be connected. She'd never told anybody about her dead little brother, not even Luke, who knew of a lost sibling but no specifics. Even if Hades did have some hand in resurrecting him, he must with a soul passing in and out of his domain, it didn't explain anything about why it had been done or where he'd been all this time.

Roman's existed, her mind whispered the reminder. He's lived another life than you...but she'd lived a very different life than anybody she knew. He was still her brother, she just had to figure out how to tell him that.

One problem at a time, as she came back into the room to see Jason wielding Riptide while Percy watched on with far to much curiosity and a great lack of self-preservation as usual.

She threw herself into her seat between them, headless herself of the sharp point as she asked casually, "Nico not back yet?"

Will looked around the room fondly. This was probably as close to world peace as would ever happen, nobody in here actively hating.

Percy, Thalia, Jason and Rachel were all laughing and making jokes about building weapons out of seaweed and kale chips for some reason, while Alex and Magnus were practicing more ASL. He could have joined either of them, but he didn't want Nico to come back in and see him socializing with to many people and start feeling to crowded. A caution that paid off when he saw Nico hovering in the doorway, eyes roving over the group surrounding Percy.

He had that same look Will was only just beginning to understand. Some kind of longing, to be a part of what he wouldn't let himself be. It tied back to his sister, he just knew it. 'You're just looking for a problem to fix,' he tried to school himself as Nico entered the room proper, walking normally enough back to his seat, but his hand was a tight fist in his pocket like he was ready to knock someone's eye out at a moments notice. 'He doesn't want you involved,' so he made sure he gave him just a casual smile as he cleared his throat and read the chapter title, getting all attention back on him.

"What do Gods consider junk?" Alex asked, only reluctantly distracted.

"I'll refrain from making a joke about their offspring there," Magnus muttered, far more relieved to not be her soul attention anymore, he was showing her all the basics he knew and was probably making a fool of himself. More importantly, Annabeth. Was it possible Kronos had Luke hiding her in such a place?

Nico hadn't taken his hand out of his pocket, he was sure the little head on his figurine was going to pop off before this was up. It wasn't junk to him though, but maybe that's all Bianca had thought it was. Percy had probably only thought that's why she'd been messing with it, when- for once he finally noticed how much the shadows were dancing around in here and gave himself a good mental slap.

Will took one last cautious breath before he started, for the first time really hating it was his turn to read. He couldn't keep as good an eye on Nico when he'd need to make a distraction like this, and it didn't take a child of Apollo to need a hint of foresight here. Everybody was looking around anxiously from Percy to the purple spine, the forbidding sense something bad was about to happen lingering in the water around them.

We rode the boar until sunset, which was about as much as my back end could take.

"You lost a whole day riding him?" Magnus asked anxiously.

"I doubt there was a faster way to get through those mountains," Thalia said, while Percy grimaced in agreement with both of them even as he rubbed his backside.

Imagine riding a giant steel brush over a bed of gravel all day. That's about how comfortable boar-riding was.

"And I always wondered why we never domesticated bears and boars instead of horses and dogs," Alex said with a tone that really meant a great mystery had been solved.

"My saddle sores thank whoever made that decision," Percy said through gritted teeth as he vividly remembered the throbbing.

I have no idea how many miles we covered, but the mountains faded into the distance and were replaced by miles of flat, dry land. The grass and scrub brush got sparser until we were galloping (do boars gallop?) across the desert.

"As long as all four feet left the ground in one stride, it's a gallop," Rachel agreed. She smiled as she watched many people blink in fascination, trying to slow down a horse running in their head to figure out if that was really how that worked. It was a shame Percy had just been to the Smithsonian and missed a particular exhibit of the first example of such a feat.

As night fell, the boar came to a stop at a creek bed and snorted. He started drinking the muddy water, then ripped a saguaro cactus out of the ground and chewed it, needles and all.

"You are what you eat," Jason snorted.

"This is as far as he'll go," Grover said. "We need to get off while he's eating."

Nobody needed convincing. We slipped off the boar's back while he was busy ripping up cacti. Then we waddled away as best we could with our saddle sores.

After its third saguaro and another drink of muddy water, the boar squealed and belched, then whirled around and galloped back toward the east.

"Did you never give him the apple?" Magnus asked on the pig's part, he'd been teased with it for miles.

"He deserved a treat for totting you guys around," Alex agreed.

"I can't say I noticed when Grover did, but I'm grateful he didn't maul us for it," Percy shrugged.

"It likes the mountains better," I guessed.

"I can't blame it," Thalia said. "Look."

Ahead of us was a two-lane road half covered with sand.

For the first time they all felt the temperature drop into dead, freezing cold, as if their skin finally noticed they were at the bottom of the ocean. The shiver that passed through the room made every one of them shudder.

Magnus was still trying to convince himself lost could still just mean Annabeth. Percy was just going to be frustrated, he might get close to rescuing her but miss the mark so she'd be lost again like she already was, but they get her back. Lost in a land without rain could easily even mean they lost another day of travel or something and Apollo would even show up to help again.

On the other side of the road was a cluster of buildings too small to be a town: a boarded-up house, a taco shop that looked like it hadn't been open since before Zoe Nightshade was born,

"How much stuff do you think she invented and hasn't told you about?" Alex suddenly burst out in excitement. "Do you think she invented tacos? Or the bow?"

"I couldn't begin to guess what butterfly effects she caused on history," Thalia was pleased her laugh sounded natural enough and now Percy was muttering about tacos and didn't seem too twitchy about what was about to happen. Annabeth could probably tell her who did invent those things, but now Thalia was wondering if she'd be the unsung hero of the future for inventing the perfect dog guide book or something.

and a white stucco post office with a sign that said GILA CLAW, ARIZONA hanging crooked above the door.

Nico flinched, his hand finally spasmed in and out of his pocket and began rubbing his nose like he'd swear frost was growing on it. The first of many things in this chapter he'd never wanted to know, the name of the place it had happened. Would he ever hear the casual state or noun again without unwanted memories chasing him?

Beyond that was a range of hills... but then I noticed they weren't regular hills. The countryside was way too flat for that. The hills were enormous mounds of old cars, appliances, and other scrap metal. It was a junkyard that seemed to go on forever.

Alex rubbed her hands together and looked ready to dive in head first.

"Who decided to summarize Earth in one sentence?" Nico muttered.

Will snorted in shock and fought back the urge to really laugh, and then start arguing the point with him.

"Who's the god of junkyards?" Jason asked in trepidation. "Why do I already know that place isn't going to be a good thing?"

"Good instincts," Percy said wearily with whatever confidence he had.

"Whoa," I said.

"Something tells me we're not going to find a car rental here," Thalia said. She looked at Grover. "I don't suppose you got another wild boar up your sleeve?"

"At this rate it wouldn't surprise me," Rachel chuckled.

"Why can't he summon a monster goat? What is the point of being a satyr if you can't?" Percy nodded along. It was probably a more comfortable ride too, he hoped.

Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."

"Which one is me?" I asked.

"Does it make a difference?" Jason asked more critically, as if life or death situations could be avoided if he knew which specific acorn each member was.

"Why would you ask that?" Magnus asked, Percy had to know the kind of answer he'd get with Thalia and Zoe right there.

"You are clearly not ADHD," Percy told Magnus while waving his hand in Jason's face to chase away that scrunched up expression. Nobody from camp would question why anything left his mouth.

"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.

"Oh, shut up."

"Exhibit A," Magnus muttered anyways.

"That cluster right there," Grover said, pointing to the left, "that's trouble."

"It's not a giant squirrel is it?" Alex asked in something actually close to concern. "I've heard bad stories about those."

"The acorns led us to a lion last time, or even worse, Percy." Thalia falsely tapped her chin in contemplation. "There's really no telling." Her hand was shaking a bit at the end and she quickly dropped it and the act.

"A monster?" Thalia asked.

Grover looked uneasy. "I don't smell anything, which doesn't make sense. But the acorns don't lie.

"They don't, or they can't?" Jason asked this very important distinction.

"There's no acorns down here to ask," Will reminded.

Our next challenge..."

He pointed straight toward the junkyard. With the sunlight almost gone now, the hills of metal looked like something on an alien planet.

"Cool," Rachel grinned, her eyes sparking with challenge if she could make a painting like that.

We decided to camp for the night and try the junkyard in the morning. None of us wanted to go Dumpster-diving in the dark.

"You are on an adventure and actively avoiding the best parts," Alex groaned, sinking into her seat as if in mortal peril over this.

"Adventure time doesn't start until I have nightmares about it," Percy shrugged.

"It was the only unanimous vote our group ever had," Thalia said in a far to dismal voice for that to mean it was a good thing.

Zoe and Bianca produced five sleeping bags and foam mattresses out of their backpacks. I don't know how they did it, because the packs were tiny, but must've been enchanted to hold so much stuff. I'd noticed their bows and quivers were also magic. I never really thought about it, but when the Hunters needed them, they just appeared slung over their backs. And when they didn't, they were gone.

Alex and Magnus both burst out laughing for no apparent reason to the others, even Magnus's innocent question of, "do they all have matching purses too?" Only made Alex hold her sides and fall back even farther into her seat.

"Um, no," Thalia answered, wondering if they lost their mind.

"Sorry, sorry, keep going," Alex tried to wave them on and brush tears of mirth away, but she and Magnus exchanged one last amused grin their mind kept drawing the same parallels to another book.

If Magnus wasn't so concerned hearing about Annabeth, he even would have liked to sit around and ask Alex her top five favorite books that just had specific magical space bags in them, but he'd have to shelve that for later.

The night got chilly fast, so Grover and I collected old boards from the ruined house, and Thalia zapped them with an electric shock to start a campfire. Pretty soon we were about as comfy as you can get in a rundown ghost town in the middle of nowhere.

"I really hope you come across some people out there looking for aliens, you could have quite the interesting conversation," Will smiled.

"Until somebody actually gets abducted," Nico muttered bitterly.

"The stars are out," Zoe said.

She was right. There were millions of them, with no city lights to turn the sky orange.

"Amazing," Bianca said. "I've never actually seen the Milky Way."

Nico flinched again, a memory glimmering in and out of focus to fast to make real sense. He'd knocked over his glass of milk one time...and his sister had laughed and called it the Milky Way. He didn't know when that had happened, when they were little and their mom cleaned it up? In the hotel and it was a false moment of time passing as he visited her in the kitchens?

"This is nothing," Zoe said. "In the old days, there were more. Whole constellations have disappeared because of human light pollution."

"You talk like you're not human," I said.

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "I am a Hunter. I care what happens to the wild places of the world. Can the same be said for thee?"

"You can be a human and care about the environment," Rachel said proudly.

"Am I the only one who noticed she didn't actually answer the question?" Magnus asked. Hearth was an elf, he wasn't assuming anyone wasn't some secret species anymore.

Percy was focused uncomfortably on Rachel though and rubbing his nose again, so Thalia harshly cleared her throat to get Will to keep going.

"For you," Thalia corrected. "Not thee."

"Why do you correct her?" Will asked. "You understand her Ye Old speech well enough."

"If you have to ask you wouldn't get it," Thalia said sullenly. She'd been mocking that uppity Huntress more than anything, thing number two she owed somebody an apology for she'd never get the chance. Bianca was currently number one for not being able to get her little brother out of this in the next few sentences.

"But you use you for the beginning of a sentence."

"My memories could never be so bad I'd forget I signed up for a grammar lesson," Percy vividly remembered exchanging an uneasy look with Bianca if they were supposed to do something about this.

"And for the end," Thalia said. "No thou. No thee. Just you"

Zoe threw up her hands in exasperation. "I hate this language. It changes too often!"

"That's fair," Nico muttered, only a tad surprised he was agreeing with a Huntress about something.

"Slang is the worst," Will agreed with an exasperated sigh. Kids always came back to camp saying something it took him half the summer to get, then by the time they came back again it was a whole new thing.

Grover sighed. He was still looking up at the stars like he was thinking about the light pollution problem. "If only Pan were here, he would set things right."

Jason was a bit uneasy what exactly Grover was wanting from his search now. To revert time back before humans took away all those stars? They'd joked before about some great nature god running humanity into the wilderness and taking back over, but that apocalyptic scenario couldn't really be what Grover wanted, there had to be some kind of balance.

Zoe nodded sadly.

"Maybe it was the coffee," Grover said. "I was drinking coffee, and the wind came. Maybe if I drank more coffee..."

"Coffee, beans, nature, I can see the connection," only Will could make that not sound sarcastic, Nico found himself admiring as Percy muffled a snort.

I was pretty sure coffee had nothing to do with what had happened in Cloudcroft, but I didn't have the heart to tell Grover. I thought about the rubber rat and the tiny birds that had suddenly come alive when the wind blew. "Grover, do you really think that was Pan? I mean, I know you want it to be."

"Who else could it be?" Rachel seemed to be agreeing with Grover. "Unless Dionysius took a sip of his own wine and sent some crazy help, this kind of thing doesn't track with any other god but Artemis, who's in no position to help anyone."

"I just don't want Grover to get his hopes up if its not because it's something else crazy in this world," Percy sighed.

"He sent us help," Grover insisted. "I don't know how or why. But it was his presence.

Percy wanted to believe his best friend, but Grover had also followed a presence right into a cyclops den. He trusted his best friend with his life, but he was worried Grover would grow immune to caffeine before he found another trace of that presence.

After this quest is done, I'm going back to New Mexico and drinking a lot of coffee. It's the best lead we've gotten in two thousand years. I was so close."

"Unless he got a shovel and started digging up that town, I can't figure out where he'd even keep looking," Magnus frowned thoughtfully. It seemed a pretty small place, in tune enough with nature, but it sounded impossible satyrs wouldn't have been searching the literal wilderness these two thousand years already for every small nook and cranny. What had made this town so special?

I didn't answer. I didn't want to squash Grover's hopes.

It was the kindest answer he could have given, and he waited with an annoyed huff for somebody to tell him something better he could have said.

Nobody did, they just looked as sullen as he felt Grover might be on a wild goose chase that would only lead him to boars and coffee beans his whole life.

"What I want to know," Thalia said, looking at Bianca, "is how you destroyed one of the zombies. There are a lot more out there somewhere. We need to figure out how to fight them."

Bianca shook her head. "I don't know. I just stabbed it and it went up in flames."

"A truly badass ability that should be shared," Alex nodded sagely.

"One I can't be teaching, so don't get any bright ideas," Thalia said with a strange smile only Nico got.

"Maybe there's something special about your knife," I said.

"It is the same as mine," Zoe said. "Celestial bronze, yes. But mine did not affect the warriors that way."

"Maybe you have to hit the skeleton in a certain spot," I said.

Bianca looked uncomfortable with everybody paying attention to her.

Nico now lived that feeling alone. He wanted to offer her hat back. He knew she'd scoff at him and tell him a Huntress didn't hide behind such things anymore, but some part of him still wished he could help her.

"Never mind," Zoe told her. "We will find the answer. In the meantime, we should plan our next move.

Nico didn't quite believe his ears for the short breath Will took, so leaned over his shoulder to check that for himself.

Yep. There it was. Zoe had really tried to do exactly what he'd just wanted to, offered her some way of stepping back. A better one than his stupid thought of just letting her go back to hiding behind her hat. Zoe had really been better for her.

"Wait your turn Nico," Will playfully nudged him back away. He saw the troubled way his brown eyes were watching the book though and knew he'd missed something. He couldn't imagine what Zoe could have said to upset him, but he offered, "I can skip my turn next time so you can read twice." Like that made up for anything at all.

"Ha, ha, " Nico gave him a very sardonic laugh, but it was clear his mind was elsewhere. They were in the desert, a land without rain if ever there was one. It didn't take a genius to figure out Bianca might not make it out of this one and Nico was going to be on edge this entire time. There wasn't anything anybody could do about it, but Will still wished he knew how best to try.

When we get through this junkyard, we must continue west. If we can find a road, we can hitchhike to the nearest city. I think that would be Las Vegas."

Nico leaned all the way back in his seat at that suggestion, and they all felt like doing the same.

"Nobody needs to head back to the Paradise Thou Must Not Yonder," Percy said quickly.

"I don't think you used that right," Thalia corrected, she was an equal opportunity corrector that way.

"Like I ever actually paid attention when listening to the popcorn reading of Romeo and Juliet," Percy rolled his eyes.

I was about to protest that Grover and I had had bad experiences in that town, but Bianca beat us to it.

"No!" she said. "Not there!"

Will sighed, his little theory basically confirmed, and he hated it was in this way when Nico's skin kept getting sallower by the word.

Nico didn't see how Zoe was going to talk his sister out of this one.

She looked really freaked out, like she'd just been dropped off the steep end of a roller coaster.

Alex opened her mouth with a quick comment that was how you freaked out Thalia, not Bianca, but one quick glare from Jason stopped her.

Zoe frowned. "Why?"

Bianca took a shaky breath. "I... I think we stayed there for a while. Nico and I. When we were traveling. And then, I can't remember..."

Nico pursed his lips so tight it hurt. He'd never realized Bianca had shared that with Percy. No wonder he thought of Nico as some strange little kid, he knew he didn't belong in this time. He'd never fit in here.

The look of dawning comprehension on his tan face only confirmed it.

Suddenly I had a really bad thought. I remembered what Bianca had told me about Nico and her staying in a hotel for a while. I met Grover's eyes, and I got the feeling he was thinking the same thing.

"Bianca," I said. "That hotel you stayed at. Was it possibly called the Lotus Hotel and Casino?"

Her eyes widened. "How could you know that?"

"Crap," the others all muttered as that was all but confirmed.

"Is that what you meant by your memory problem was fixed?" Jason asked with worry, "cause Nico, that means you still had a whole life before you forgot it all in that place."

"Tell me about it," he snapped. "I've dealt with it fine!" What little he had pieced together through misty images and whatever dregs of detail he could pull from Hades without his ear curdling comments about how much Bianca had looked like her.

He was learning about a past in this book he'd never asked for and still being denied the one he most wanted. A real story, a true glimpse into a life he'd never known before it was all destroyed.

He felt the pity, the curiosity, all of their eyes on him with questions he would not answer. He had Percy's undivided attention now, his mouth opening. For whatever Percy had asked Bianca he was expected to answer too? Maybe even some sympathy like Percy finally knew what he was going through...

"You can still get a memory loss T-shirt with us," he gestured at Jason with an apologetic smile.

"Thanks," he scowled before nearly pushing the book into Will's nose to make him keep going. He did so quickly, it didn't take anyone having a good knowledge of the Son of Hades to figure out that's what he wanted right now.

"Oh, great," I said.

"Wait," Thalia said. "What is the Lotus Casino?"

"A couple of years ago," I said, "Grover, Annabeth, and I got trapped there. It's designed so you never want to leave. We stayed for about an hour. When we came out, five days had passed. It makes time speed up."

"No," Bianca said. "No, that's not possible."

"She's basically immortal now, I thought she'd believe that pretty easily," Alex said uneasily. Nico still looked like he was swallowing back his own bitter words with an annoyed, if casual enough eye roll, but this was also obviously a few years ago. He'd had time to adjust when his sister went back to Camp and told him, poor Bianca was being dumped into this realization in the middle of all this.

"You said somebody came and got you out," I remembered.

"Yes."

"What did he look like? What did he say?"

"I... I don't remember. Please, I really don't want to talk about this."

Will was fidgeting in place, his whole body shifting about. He wished he could jump in there, or Zoe would again even if it did upset Nico now. The girl should be able to talk about this one step at a time, she was clearly having a bit of a crisis and needed to take it more slowly. He hated the words coming out of his mouth now, for Nico drawing into himself more than ever as his past was being shoved into the limelight, for speaking what Bianca hadn't wished said. If it would do any good he'd skip this, but Percy would have to find all this out eventually. They were tied together to intricately.

Zoe sat forward, her eyebrows knit with concern. "You said that Washington, D.C., had changed when you went back last summer. You didn't remember the subway being there."

"Yes, but—"

"Bianca," Zoe said, "can you tell me the name of the president of the United States right now?"

"Don't be silly," Bianca said. She told us the correct name of the president.

"That bar's to low," Magnus said quietly, so only Alex could hear. "We know they've been at that school long enough to know something like that, even the past few. Kids don't keep track of that stuff that well anyways." Even he'd hear about new elections, and he lived on the streets.

"Depends how far into history class they got," Alex shook her head, it was the best estimate they were going to get.

"And who was the president before that?" Zoe asked.

Bianca thought for a while. "Roosevelt."

Zoe swallowed. "Theodore or Franklin'?"

"Franklin," Bianca said. "F.D.R."

"Like FDR Drive?" I asked. Because seriously, that's about all I knew about F.D.R.

"Are we sure we know what year you're from?" Jason snorted.

"Gods somebody strap an audio book to at least one of this boys ears," Thalia sighed. She didn't know how much she'd have to pay Annabeth to do it, but surely if it was at least his girlfriends voice reading off a textbook to him he'd live through it.

"Bianca," Zoe said. "F.D.R. was not the last president. That was about seventy years ago."

"That's impossible," Bianca said. "I... I'm not that old."

She stared at her hands as if to make sure they weren't wrinkled.

Nico swallowed the bitter, grudging comment if she was still happy he'd been left back at camp, ignorant of all this while she was slapped with this revelation alone.

Thalia's eyes turned sad. I guess she knew what it was like to get pulled out of time for a while.

Nico startled and looked at her now.

Even during the last two books, she'd just sort of brushed off and laughed along this was all no news to her, Annabeth told her all of these stories, mostly. She'd never really reacted to much aside from being to high up while keeping pace with Percy's energetic mood.

He'd never really appreciated until now how much he and Thalia did have in common. She'd even offered him help just before, in thanks for his silence and making this easier on Percy.

She looked so exhausted now. Ever since her fear of heights had been thrust out, she'd been giving him quick glances. He'd felt the prickling feeling all his life and still wasn't immune to it. When he excused himself, he expected her to berate him for constantly wincing over Bianca's name and tipping off Percy because his sister had died in battle in service of Artemis or something.

He didn't know why Thalia had left everything behind to join the Hunters, but maybe he could ask her. Maybe it would give a little more insight into why Bianca did it too, some reason he was still searching for he still wasn't convinced he'd ever get a good answer to.

"It's okay, Bianca, the important thing is you and Nico are safe. You made it out."

"But how?" I said. "We were only in there for an hour and we barely escaped. How could you have escaped after being there for so long?"

"I told you." Bianca looked about ready to cry.

"You guys could have eased up a little," Will's voice was as harsh as it could ever get. He had the book close to his chest, like he wished it was the girl.

Thalia bowed her head in remorse, some tingling sensation had been tracing down her back whispering she was close to an answer as she and Percy had exchanged looks, to focused on some strange idea to let the big sister part of her see this for herself and step in like Will so clearly wanted to. She knew he wasn't accusing her personally, but she felt it. She should have looked out for Bianca, been the one to go into that stupid statue-

"Sorry," Percy's tone was regret enough, and Nico was scrunched up tight in his seat, white knuckled grip on his sword and staring at nothing. He needed to get through this more than her continuing to dwell on the past.

"A man came and said it was time to leave. And—"

"But who? Why did he do it?"

Before she could answer, we were hit with a blazing light from down the road.

"The only time in history kids are going to be encouraged to hitchhike with a stranger," Alex had a strange look on her face like she wasn't sure if she should laugh at this new thing or still feel bad for Nico's strange thing.

"Even if he is a serial killer, I think they can take him," Magnus sounded mildly confident of that, even if he was squirming in his seat. He already had a feeling it was bad news regardless, what with that timing, it never meant anything good when information like that was constantly cut off.

The headlights of a car appeared out of nowhere. I was half hoping it was Apollo, come to give us a ride again, but the engine was way too silent for the sun chariot, and besides, it was nighttime.

"I don't think that would stop him from breaking the cosmos if he wanted to," Thalia sighed. She'd always prefer Apollo over who it was that showed up.

We grabbed our sleeping bags and got out of the way as a deathly white limousine slid to a stop in front of us.

The back door of the limo opened right next to me. Before I could step away, the point of a sword touched my throat.

"So it was friendly and tide greetings," Alex said without surprise.

"I'm growing more glad by the minute you didn't greet all of us with that wire at our throat," Percy informed.

"You weren't threatening enough," Alex scoffed. Only Thalia had made her consider it, and tensions had cooled to quickly to come to that.

I heard the sound of Zoe and Bianca drawing their bows.

"That was nice they came to your ready defense," Will grinned. Zoe had proved already she wouldn't just leave Percy behind, but it was still nice to have reaffirmed.

Nico kept the thought to himself Bianca was probably thankful for the sudden attack, keeping attention off her.

As the owner of the sword got out of the car, I moved back very slowly. I had to, because he was pushing the point under my chin.

He smiled cruelly. "Not so fast now, are you, punk?"

He was a big man with a crew cut, a black leather biker's jacket, black jeans, a white muscle shirt, and combat boots. Wraparound shades hid his eyes, but I knew what was behind those glasses—hollow sockets filled with flames.

"Ares," I growled.

"Wow, our first repeat god," Magnus blinked in surprise.

"Mer-er, Hermes showed up twice," Jason reminded.

"At the beginning and end of the same quest. Depending on how you count his disturbing appearance in Clarisse's warship, he's actually showed up on every one so far, and I feel like it's not a good omen," Magnus insisted.

Even Will couldn't come up with a chipper comment to that because, well, he wasn't wrong. If the guy had a theory over there Ares was still secretly working for Kronos, there wasn't much he could do to pull him off that idea. The God of war hardly acted innocent, except for one shining example of why he'd never let Olympus fall.

The same one as everyone else. Love, in his own selfish way.

The war god glanced at my friends. "At ease, people."

He snapped his fingers, and their weapons fell to the ground.

"This is a friendly meeting." He dug the point of his blade a little farther under my chin.

"I don't believe him," Rachel mock whispered.

"Of course I'd like to take your head for a trophy, but someone wants to see you. And I never behead my enemies in front of a lady."

"He was about to kill you in front of Annabeth," Alex reminded.

"Mortal ladies probably don't count," Nico rolled his eyes.

"What lady?" Thalia asked.

Ares looked over at her. "Well, well. I heard you were back."

He lowered his sword and pushed me away.

"Thalia, daughter of Zeus," Ares mused. "You're not hanging out with very good company."

"What's your business, Ares?" she said. "Who's in the car?"

Ares smiled, enjoying the attention. "Oh, I doubt she wants to meet the rest of you. Particularly not them." He jutted his chin toward Zoe and Bianca. "Why don't you all go get some tacos while you wait? Only take Percy a few minutes."

"We never expected to see you again," Thalia told him promptly.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Percy sighed.

"We will not leave him alone with thee, Lord Ares," Zoe said.

"I'm actually starting to like this girl," Alex admitted, her grudging approval going up another notch. Alex was sure being protective over a boy was not common for Zoe.

"Feeling's mutual," Percy promised, he'd been surprisingly touched as well as he kept rubbing his throat.

"Besides," Grover managed, "the taco place is closed."

"Because that was the important part of that," Jason snorted.

Ares snapped his fingers again. The lights inside the taqueria suddenly blazed to life.

The boards flew off the door and the CLOSED sign flipped to OPEN. "You were saying, goat boy?"

Magnus made a groaning, painful noise as his head fell into his hands that didn't need interpretation.

Alex gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder while Thalia said, "if it's any consolation, we went inside and there was a buffet. He didn't make people magically appear too."

"It did, thanks," he nodded while still digging the heels of his hands into his eyes from his brain going a bit haywire over that one. These gods could literally end world hunger at the snap of their fingers, and here he was still hoarding food in fear of when it would end.

"Go on," I told my friends. "I'll handle this."

I tried to sound more confident than I felt. I don't think Ares was fooled.

"Neither were we," Thalia stage whispered.

Percy gave her a shove.

"You heard the boy," Ares said. "He's big and strong. He's got things under control."

"I'm sure Zoe loved that," Nico grimaced. His swirling stomach was calming though, he tried to convince himself he might get one more chapter. To hear Percy going back inside this place and seeing her laugh and trying to figure out the recipe for their salsa. Whatever this was going on was probably important enough the chapter would end on it.

My friends reluctantly headed over to the taco restaurant. Ares regarded me with loathing, then opened the limousine door like a chauffeur.

"Get inside, punk," he said. "And mind your manners. She's not as forgiving of rudeness as I am."

"Venus," Jason murmured for himself. A strange image came to mind, of a mind billowingly beautiful woman dressed in a southern bell, baby blue attire with a sun hat and eating oysters. The image came and went so quicky, like a snapshot flew across his eyes. It hadn't been a photo though, and yet the longer he sat and tried to remember anything else the more jumbled it all got until he'd swear his brain had made the whole thing up just to mess with him.

"The one and only," Thalia agreed with quiet a scowl. This goddess ranked right up there with having the most annoying kids at camp when she visited.

When I saw her, my jaw dropped.

I forgot my name. I forgot where I was. I forgot how to speak in complete sentences.

"Is it the god of memory loss?" Magnus asked uneasily.

Alex sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I thought you were paying better attention Maggie?"

"Please don't call me Maggie," he said with dread.

She gave him an appraising look to that, clearly filing this information for later.

Percy was still sitting over there with his mouth hanging open, and Will was reading on more in concern a fish might swim in if he left him like that.

She was wearing a red satin dress and her hair was curled in a cascade of ringlets. Her face was the most beautiful I'd ever seen: perfect makeup, dazzling eyes, a smile that would've lit up the dark side of the moon.

Thinking back on it, I can't tell you who she looked like.

Or even what color her hair or her eyes were. Pick the most beautiful actress you can think of. The goddess was ten times more beautiful than that. Pick your favorite hair color, eye color, whatever. The goddess had that.

Kind of like Alex, Magnus mused for a moment. She had so many layers and always-

He sat up painfully straight in his seat and leaned away from her like he feared she'd read his mind and gut him. She merely gave him a strange look for a moment, before her monochromic eyes flashed with a terrifying knowing light like that's exactly what she was doing.

When she smiled at me, just for a moment she looked a little like Annabeth.

The collective snort that resonated around the room made Percy grin. He'd never be upset at being the butt of this joke. His eyes flickered to Rachel to see her smile broad as anyone's, as she thought to herself with only amusement, 'I never stood a chance.'

Then like this television actress I used to have a crush on in fifth grade.

"And who was that Percy?" Thalia asked eagerly.

"Err, I forgot," Percy waved frantically at Will to keep going.

"Are you sure?" Her electric blue eyes scrutinized him, her hunting knife appeared between two fingers and began lazily flipping between her digits. Will swallowed and knew if he said another word that thing was going to end up point first in the spine of the book.

He muttered something that sounded like an ancient Greek curse for a moment before saying, "fine, Ashley Tisdale."

"Oh Annabeth's going to love that," Thalia cackled before finally stowing the blade away.

Then... well, you get the idea.

"Ah, there you are, Percy," the goddess said. "I am Aphrodite."

I slipped into the seat across from her and said something like, "Um uh gah."

"I liked your nonplussed reaction to Artemis better," Magnus said without bothering to fight off a smile.

"You didn't see her," Percy said without any hope this blithering reaction wasn't going to be snickered at.

"And I mocked Grover for the same," Magnus shook his head in between his laugh, "you're not getting out of this."

She smiled. "Aren't you sweet. Hold this, please."

She handed me a polished mirror the size of a dinner plate and had me hold it up for her.

"I'm surprised the inside of that car isn't one big mirror," Rachel rolled her eyes.

She leaned forward and dabbed at her lipstick, though I couldn't see anything wrong with it.

"Do you know why you're here?" she asked.

I wanted to respond. Why couldn't I form a complete sentence? She was only a lady. A seriously beautiful lady. With eyes like pools of spring water... Whoa.

"You know it's bad when you start hitting Apollo territory," Thalia said gravely.

I pinched my own arm, hard.

"Without dropping the mirror," Percy added with a hint of pride.

"And I always thought those jokes about cabin 10 kidnapping you for a life model prop were a joke," Thalia rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed while Percy looked at her in horror.

"I... I don't know," I managed.

"Oh, dear," Aphrodite said. "Still in denial?"

"I've never been to Egypt," Percy said blankly.

Thalia zapped him, hard.

"Ow," he looked at her in exasperation for a hit that would have killed an elephant if it weren't for that impenetrable skin.

"I'm just happy over here he knows where that river is, clearly he was awake for some of school," Magnus had at least gotten a laugh out of his pun.

Outside the car, I could hear Ares chuckling. I had a feeling he could hear every word we said. The idea of him being out there made me angry, and that helped clear my mind.

"And now the real horror begins," Jason frowned. Gods only knew what this, of all goddesses, was going to do to him if Percy ticked her off. There was something about Venus he wondered if he should remember...Charleston. The city name flickered strangely in his mind, or was it even a persons name? He rubbed his temple in frustration and was grateful Will clearly wasn't looking to linger around in this chapter.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.

"Well then, why are you on this quest?"

"Artemis has been captured!"

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Oh, Artemis. Please. Talk about a hopeless case. I mean, if they were going to kidnap a goddess, she should be breathtakingly beautiful, don't you think? I pity the poor dears who have to imprison Artemis. Bo-ring!"

Thalia's ears were ringing a painfully high noise, like her brain was trying to helpfully block out such stupidity. Percy had the urge to lean away from that look of outrage on her face lest she retaliate at the nearest person.

"But she was chasing a monster," I protested. "A really, really bad monster. We have to find it!"

Aphrodite made me hold the mirror a little higher. She seemed to have found a microscopic problem at the corner of her eye and dabbed at her mascara. "Always some monster. But my dear Percy, that is why the others are on this quest. I'm more interested in you."

"Always terrifying when a god singles you out for any reason," Magnus said wearily.

"At least you're still keeping up with the important stuff," Alex nodded.

My heart pounded. I didn't want to answer, but her eyes drew an answer right out of my mouth. "Annabeth is in trouble."

Percy smiled fondly at his past self while Rachel cooed beside him. It wouldn't take anything to drag that out of him now, no matter how many years later, he'd still do anything to rescue her.

Aphrodite beamed. "Exactly!"

"I have to help her," I said. "I've been having these dreams."

"Ah, you even dream about her! That's so cute!"

Percy looked a little miffed, and concerned about that. "Why do we dream again? Aphrodite knows, I mean I would anyways but," he was stammering and still blushing just a bit.

"Just her narrow-minded focus," Thalia waved off. "The gods can manipulate our dreams and beam stuff into our heads sure, but mainly it's a manifestation of the shadow realm overlapping with the mist we travel in our sleep. We see what's important to us. Or did," she finished with a still bewildered huff they hadn't since being here.

Nico looked on at her with intrigue, that was a very well-rounded answer he himself would have given, making him wonder how she knew of such things. Had she done any voyaging in the Underworld herself? Did the huntress's speedy travel have any connection to the multifaceted pathways all connected?

"No! I mean... that's not what I meant."

She made a tsk-tsk sound. "Percy, I'm on your side. I'm the reason you're here, after all."

I stared at her. "What?"

"The poisoned T-shirt the Stoll brothers gave Phoebe," she said. "Did you think that was an accident? Sending Blackjack to find you? Helping you sneak out of the camp?"

"I kind of just assumed all that stuff happened on its own," Percy admitted with a mystified expression. "How often do the gods interfere?" It sort of annoyed him really. Apollo and Aphrodite were all for helping him along on this, but nobody had lifted a finger to stop Kronos yet? What were the rules around here again?

"Whenever their agenda wants," Will answered with a bit of lack-luster pep.

"You did that?"

"Of course! Because really, how boring these Hunters are! A quest for some monster, blah blah blah. Saving Artemis. Let her stay lost, I say.

Thalia's bow appeared in her hand, her jaw-locked face made Percy a bit smug. She'd clearly be cracking that over this goddess's head if she could right now, and he really wanted to wave and say, 'See! I'm not the only one willing to challenge these guys!' She took a tempered breath and didn't interrupt, but Percy still gave her a friendly nudge and winked.

She grinned back, thinking to herself it would be worth a deadly quest to kill whichever god had hidden Jason from her all this time with Percy beside her. Nothing scared this nutjob, even impossible odds like taking on the oldest goddess.

But a quest for true love—"

"Wait a second, I never said—"

"Oh, my dear. You don't need to say it. You do know Annabeth was close to joining the Hunters, don't you?"

I blushed. "I wasn't sure—"

"She was about to throw her life away! And you, my dear, you can save her from that. It's so romantic!"

"Annabeth would sooner slay a dragon than be locked up in a tower," Nico rolled his eyes with confidence. If he had to give a begrudging compliment to her, it was how alike she and Percy were.

"It's weird being on the same page as both of you over there," Percy chuckled.

"Uh..."

"Oh, put the mirror down," Aphrodite ordered. "I look fine."

I hadn't realized I was still holding it, but as soon as I put it down, I noticed my arms were sore.

"Don't tell Chiron about that type of training, the Aphrodite kids will never let it go," Will grinned.

"Now listen, Percy," Aphrodite said. "The Hunters are your enemies. 

"I want to strangle this woman with her own hair," Alex scoffed. How was this more infuriating than the gender-preferencing stereotyping goddess?

"I will help," Thalia promised.

"I doubt I listened," Percy said to nobody's surprise. He didn't need memories to know he'd hardly gone out of his way to start following a path he was told to take.

Forget them and Artemis and the monster. That's not important. You just concentrate on finding and saving Annabeth."

"Do you know where she is?"

Aphrodite waved her hand irritably. "No, no. I leave the details to you.

Magnus groaned harder than ever and looked ready to smother someone with a seaweed pillow cushion. It really was no wonder if all of them were going a little stir crazy, Will winced sympathetically.

But it's been ages since we've had a good tragic love story."

"Whoa, first of all, I never said anything about love. And second, what's up with tragic!"

"Your life is a tragedy," Jason helpfully reminded.

"And I'd like one exception!" Percy groaned, his hand aching for Annabeth's more every page.

"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"

"Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?"

"But gods forbid you know who a very famous president is outside his tunnel," Thalia rolled her eyes.

"I remember the important things," Percy insisted.

"Like if Paris was the boy or girl in that story," Rachel snorted.

"Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."

"But... I don't know where it's going. My heart, I mean."

She smiled sympathetically. She really was beautiful. And not just because she had a pretty face or anything. She believed in love so much, it was impossible not to feel giddy when she talked about it.

There was a softening to Will's voice as he said that, a gentleness he meant to invoke into all of them. He didn't have to be a child of hers to want to believe that too.

Nico's bangs fell into his eyes as his head tipped curiously to the side watching. Now there was an expression he couldn't say he'd ever seen up close before.

"Not knowing is half the fun," Aphrodite said. "Exquisitely painful, isn't it? Not being sure who you love and who loves you? Oh, you kids! It's so cute I'm going to cry."

"No, no," I said. "Don't do that."

"Just what we needed to put the horror of this situation back into focus," Rachel nodded somberly. "A girl crying finally has you scared to speak again."

"Have I mentioned how grateful I am nobodies burst into tears in this room?" Percy asked weakly.

"And don't worry," she said. "I'm not going to let this be easy and boring for you. No, I have some wonderful surprises in store. Anguish. Indecision. Oh, you just wait."

"So we can officially blame all future problems on her?" Percy said with a scowl that honestly kind of terrified them all for a moment.

"Err, maybe keep an eye on the big picture here?" Rachel gave a nervous laugh where she fell into the category of Percy's 'problems' in the coming time.

"That's really okay," I told her. "Don't go to any trouble."

"Or ever remove yourself from that mirror again," Percy continued his plea.

"You get full credit for finally leaving a godly interaction without one of them getting angry with you," Jason noted.

"And look where it got me!" Percy yelped, his mind on a hamster wheel of doom what was being done to Annabeth to appease this love-crazed goddess.

"You're so cute. I wish all my daughters could break the heart of a boy as nice as you."

"That's, a sentence," Alex said in disgust.

"I'm starting to get worried what the love goddess does with the rest of her free time," Magnus agreed.

Aphrodite's eyes were tearing up. "Now, you'd better go. And do be careful in my husband's territory, Percy. Don't take anything. He is awfully fussy about his trinkets and trash."

"Finally some helpful advice," Will let out a great whoosh of air in relief.

Thalia bit her tongue hard to stop herself snapping it hadn't done them any good.

"What?" I asked. "You mean Hephaestus?"

But the car door opened and Ares grabbed my shoulder, pulling me out of the car and back into the desert night.

My audience with the goddess of love was over.

"Thank the gods," Percy sighed, before going cross-eyed.

"I'm with you there, any longer and she would have tried joining you and Annabeth's name together like a stupid tabloid heading," Rachel nodded.

"You're lucky, punk." Ares pushed me away from the limo. "Be grateful."

"For what?"

"That we're being so nice. If it was up to me—"

"So why haven't you killed me?" I shot back. It was a stupid thing to say to the god of war, but being around him always made me feel angry and reckless.

Ares nodded, like I'd finally said something intelligent.

"It only took you three and a half books," Thalia mock approved.

"To impress a god I don't think twice about," Percy rolled his eyes.

"I'd love to kill you, seriously," he said. "But see, I got a situation. Word on Olympus is that you might start the biggest war in history. I can't risk messing that up. Besides, Aphrodite thinks you're some kinda soap-opera star or something. I kill you, that makes me look bad with her. But don't worry. I haven't forgotten my promise. Some day soon, kid—real soon— you're going to raise your sword to fight, and you're going to remember the wrath of Ares."

Percy shivered, and icy blast of water causing a flurry of ice to slice up their exposed skin for a few harrowing moments before his eyes snapped open and he exhaled sharply. The feeling, one he'd already had about this moment, was drawing near. He swallowed dread anew whose wrath it was going to be the end of, because it clearly hadn't been him, only his fault.

Will hesitated a moment more, a trickle of blood across his temple he impatiently swiped away as he looked around at the slight scratches upon everyone else. He saw Nico prodding in fascination at a slight oozing upon his wrist and thought he could at least take a few seconds to go see if that fridge would conjure up some band-aids before those dark brown eyes looked at him imploringly.

Nico knew the only thing left to happen was on the last pages to come, and fussing over a few scrapes wasn't going to make it better. Will swallowed bitter regret Nico might now forever associate him saying the words as he kept on so nobody else could keep trying to delay this and make it worse.

I balled my fists. "Why wait? I beat you once. How's that ankle healing up?"

He grinned crookedly. "Not bad, punk. But you got nothing on the master of taunts. I'll start the fight when I'm good and ready.

"When he can cheat his way to victory," Jason scoffed with lingering disgust. Ares was always a great reminder of clearing his head from all the noise, helped him focus on this world at hand.

Until then... Get lost."

He snapped his fingers and the world did a three-sixty, spinning in a cloud of red dust. I fell to the ground.

When I stood up again, the limousine was gone. The road, the taco restaurant, the whole town of Gila Claw was gone. My friends and I were standing in the middle of the junkyard, mountains of scrap metal stretched out in every direction.

"And nobody thought to bring me a taco," Percy huffed as he squirmed in his seat.

"I saw Grover slipping some hot sauce packets into his bag while he plowed through three salad bowls, somebody was thinking of you," Thalia waved her hand dismissively.

"What did she want with you?" Bianca asked, once I'd told them about Aphrodite.

Nico's face ticked with frustration for what that reason was. A bubble of anger trying to rise to the surface the goddess couldn't have appeared to Bianca, told her to be a little more careful or she'd be leaving behind somebody who loved her, but no, that wasn't as important- he tried to stop the bitter thought cold and push it all down.

There was a faint, piercing howl that made everybody's hair stand on end.

Magnus was looking anxiously at the walls and muttered, "did anybody say how safe we were from sea monsters in here?"

Nico didn't hear Percy's flippant answer. No grudges, no grudges, he would not throw a tantrum about this, nobody cared but him...

Will was starting to feel like the heartless monster in the room trying to continue reading when Nico was so obviously struggling with this. He didn't know what else to do though. If he stopped now and tried to pull him aside it would only draw attention to what Nico obviously was trying not to linger on, only creating more anger at everything.

"Oh, uh, not sure," I lied. "She said to be careful in her husband's junkyard. She said not to pick anything up."

Zoe narrowed her eyes. "The goddess of love would not make a special trip to tell thee that. Be careful, Percy. Aphrodite has led many heroes astray."

"For once I agree with Zoe," Thalia said. "You can't trust Aphrodite."

Thalia smiled ghost like to herself. The small curve of her lips to tinged with sadness for anybody to ask what it was. The last time she'd seen Bianca stifle a laugh, seeing them agree for the first time. Nico's sister would have gotten a kick in here out of watching Thalia relive all this and generally liking Zoe now.

Grover was looking at me funny. Being empathic and all, he could usually read my emotions, and I got the feeling he knew exactly what Aphrodite had talked to me about.

"Now I'm sort of concerned how much of that is satyr stuff and how much of it is your empathy link stuff?" Jason asked.

"I feel kind of bad for him," Magnus added. "Can't be fun to have somebody else's emotions constantly running around your head."

"So," I said, anxious to change the subject, "how do we get out of here?"

"That way," Zoe said. "That is west."

"She can tell that without the sun rise?" Alex asked, clearly impressed.

"There are other ways, that's just the most common," Magnus casually agreed. Alex's impressed gaze fell on him, and his mind fizzled like bad reception as he imagined them under the stars, showing Alex all the techniques of living in the great out doors...she'd probably just laugh at him and ask if that's how he survived being homeless.

"How can you tell?"

In the light of the full moon, I was surprised how well I could see her roll her eyes at me.

"Yet another thing light pollution has taken from us, the ability to see that at all hours," Thalia said tragically.

"Ursa Major is in the north," she said, "which means that must be west."

She pointed west, then at the northern constellation, which was hard to make out because there were so many other stars.

"Oh, yeah," I said. "The bear thing."

Zoe looked offended. "Show some respect. It was a fine bear. A worthy opponent."

Magnus snorted spectacularly while Alex looked on, hopefully not inspired to try this herself. "She fought a bear in the stars?"

"Err, before it went into the stars," Thalia mildly corrected without illuminating further, much to everyone's disappointment. Percy was looking a little bug-eyed, his trembling hand brushing at his temple why the stars and Zoe should hold any connection.

"You act like it was real."

"You don't act like everything is real," Rachel shook her head. "Zoe doesn't kid, remember."

"Right," Percy said with an uneasy smile, his stomach still felt like an icy blade was melting and leaving a wound wide open.

"Guys," Grover broke in. "Look!"

We'd reached the crest of a junk mountain. Piles of metal objects glinted in the moonlight: broken heads of bronze horses, metal legs from human statues, smashed chariots, tons of shields and swords and other weapons, along with more modern stuff, like cars that gleamed gold and silver, refrigerators, washing machines, and computer monitors.

"I reiterate," Alex said with a baffled expression. "What do Gods consider junk?" Half of that stuff in there would make a homeless camp faint with joy. One artist alone could make a million sculptures from any of those items.

"One god, and I'm kind of scared of the answer now," Magnus shivered. Hephaestus was the metal worker, the one who's kid had taught Tyson how to build that awesome shield. What hadn't been said was what they did with the projects that didn't work.

"Whoa," Bianca said. "That stuff... some of it looks like real gold."

"It is," Thalia said grimly. "Like Percy said, don't touch anything. This is the junkyard of the gods."

"Junk?" Grover picked up a beautiful crown made of gold, silver, and jewels. It was broken on one side, as if it had been split by an axe.

"Cursed," Alex said confidently.

"You call this junk?"

He bit off a point and began to chew. "It's delicious!"

"And now we wait," Alex groaned.

Only Percy could brave a smile like he hoped she was kidding, everybody else had grim looks like the shadows on the wall were really encircling them. It sure was starting to look that way.

Thalia swatted the crown out of his hands. "I'm serious!"

Magnus tried and failed at a smile of his own, his mouth opening with a stupid joke from one of his favorite books Alex might get, but the words died before his dry mouth could manage. Something was wrong. Thalia's blue eyes were trained on the ceiling, and Percy was looking anxiously from her to the book like he knew he was missing something, never a good sign.

"Look!" Bianca said. She raced down the hill, tripping over bronze coils and golden plates. She picked up a bow that glowed silver in moonlight. "A Hunter's bow!"

She yelped in surprise as the bow began to shrink, and became a hair clip shaped like a crescent moon. "It's just like Percy's sword!"

Zoe's face was grim. "Leave it, Bianca."

"But—"

"It is here for a reason. Anything thrown away in this junkyard must stay in this yard. It is defective. Or cursed."

Bianca reluctantly set the hair clip down.

Percy felt an icy sensation on the back of his neck, like a ghost had just breathed on him. He whipped around in his seat and only saw the same flickering shadows as everyone, but his gut didn't hurt. He didn't understand how he was doing something that freaked himself out as he slowly turned back, but his pen was clutched in his hand again.

Nico was frozen in place, his eyes on the cracks in the floor, watching the fractured pebbles Percy had caused to come loose dance around like they were shaking with dread instead of him. He didn't know how Percy had swapped some stupid toy for something Bianca would actually care about. He didn't want to know what was inevitably coming for her or whose fault it had been.

His past ignorance had only caused him bitter anger. Maybe finally getting an answer would give him some peace?

"I don't like this place," Thalia said. She gripped the shaft of her spear.

"You think we're going to get attacked by killer refrigerators?" I asked.

"That would be, a sight," Magnus muttered.

"Maybe you'd survive a coming explosion if one ate you," Rachel tried to offer a grin, and despite a few blanks looks and questions beginning for that bizarre statement, Will wasn't hesitating for any laughter to linger this time. Nico obviously wanted this done with and that's exactly what he was going to do.

She gave me a hard look. "Zoe is right, Percy. Things get thrown away here for a reason. Now come on, let's get across the yard."

"That's the second time you've agreed with Zoe," I muttered, but Thalia ignored me.

She was doing an excellent job of recreating that in here, and the room was starting to blur around the edges Percy was looking back and forth between the book and her so much. Then he realized the room really was doing that.

We started picking our way through the hills and valleys of junk. The stuff seemed to go on forever, and if it hadn't been for Ursa Major, we would've gotten lost. All the hills pretty much looked the same.

I'd like to say we left the stuff alone, but there was too much cool junk not to check out some of it. I found an electric guitar shaped like Apollo's lyre that was so sweet I had to pick it up. Grover found a broken tree made out of metal. It had been chopped to pieces, but some of the branches still had golden birds in them, and they whirred around when Grover picked them up, trying to flap their wings.

Finally, we saw the edge of the junkyard about half a mile ahead of us, the lights of a highway stretching through the desert. But between us and the road...

"What is that?" Bianca gasped.

Ahead of us was a hill much bigger and longer than the others. It was like a metal mesa, the length of a football field and as tall as goalposts.

"Americans really do use everything but the metric system," Alex said in fascination. "Can you not just say how many miles long it was?"

"Why when you know how long a football field is, plus goalposts," Percy shrugged.

At one end of the mesa was a row of ten thick metal columns, wedged tightly together.

Bianca frowned. "They look like—"

"Toes," Grover said.

"Is this like trying to find a bunny in the clouds?" Rachel asked. "I bet I'd see something else."

"No," Thalia's voice was as tight as Will's. She couldn't laugh this one off and pretend it was going to be okay for Percy or anyone's sake, because it wasn't going to be.

Bianca nodded. "Really, really large toes."

Zoe and Thalia exchanged nervous looks.

"Let's go around," Thalia said. "Far around."

"But the road is right over there," I protested. "Quicker to climb over."

Ping.

Thalia hefted her spear and Zoe drew her bow, but then I realized it was only Grover.

He had thrown a piece of scrap metal at the toes and hit one, making a deep echo, as if the column were hollow.

"Why?" Jason drew the word out with sublime confusion.

"That link is one way," Percy reminded with his own frown.

"Why did you do that?" Zoe demanded.

Grover cringed. "I don't know. I, uh, don't like fake feet?"

"Doesn't he wear fake feet?" Jason mock whispered.

"Why do you think he hates them," Thalia nodded, "personal knowledge."

"Come on." Thalia looked at me. "Around."

Thalia wasn't looking at him now. She made an odd gesture, one Percy had never seen before as her eyes betrayed and flickered to Nico.

He looked like a model for a Greek statue, frozen in place, his shaggy hair masking his face bent to the ground.

I didn't argue. The toes were starting to freak me out, too. I mean, who sculpts ten-foot tall metal toes and sticks them in a junkyard?

"Where's the rest of him?" Magnus asked with a bad feeling tightening up his stomach. Thalia looked as sick as he felt. Nico was appallingly pale, and Percy was getting a crick in his neck for now trying to keep an eye on the walls, that he'd swear were starting to form faces.

After several minutes of walking, we finally stepped onto the highway, an abandoned but well-lit stretch of black asphalt.

"We made it out," Zoe said. "Thank the gods."

But apparently the gods didn't want to be thanked.

"Then I take it back," Jason said in a small voice. Every single thing about this situation there and here screamed this was not good.

At that moment, I heard a sound like a thousand trash compactors crushing metal.

I whirled around. Behind us, the scrap mountain was boiling, rising up. The ten toes tilted over, and I realized why they looked like toes. They were toes. The thing that rose up from the metal was a bronze giant in full Greek battle armor. He was impossibly tall—a skyscraper with legs and arms. He gleamed wickedly in the moonlight. He looked down at us, and his face was deformed. The left side was partially melted off. His joints creaked with rust, and across his armored chest, written in thick dust by some giant finger, were the words

WASH ME.

Magnus's mouth was hanging open in a silent scream like his world view finally couldn't get any bigger.

Alex gave a nervous laugh, one part amusement for that, one part giddy terror at this fight.

"Talos!" Zoe gasped.

"Who—who's Talos?" I stuttered.

"One of Hephaestus's creations," Thalia said. "But that can't be the original. It's too small.

"Too small? Too small!" Rachel repeated in a higher shriek each time.

Will finished the sentence like someone was pulling on his tongue.

A prototype, maybe. A defective model."

The metal giant didn't like the word defective.

Percy wanted to shake Thalia and ask her in which gods name made her think her running her mouth caused less problems than him. His hands were shaking to much.

He moved one hand to his sword belt and drew his weapon. The sound of it coming out of its sheath was horrible, metal screeching against metal.

Thalia tried not to flinch and cover her ears again. Tried.

The blade was a hundred feet long, easy. It looked rusty and dull, but I didn't figure that mattered. Getting hit with that thing would be like getting hit with a battleship.

"I bet if it hit Percy he'd land in the ocean and be fine," Jason said faintly.

"Let's hope that theory was tested," Percy said in a low, dangerous voice. The feeling Ares had just pierced him with was now in him with a roaring vengeance, but something, some part of him couldn't blame what was about to happen on the war god. It was just a similar, icy dread consuming him.

"Someone took something," Zoe said. "Who took something?"

She stared accusingly at me.

"And I thought we were past all that," Riptide was now glowing faintly in his hand, the shadows on the wall steadying for just a moment. That wild look of dangerous power was freezing everything in place before Percy shook himself. Will kept reading, fighting off tremors in his hand and voice as he'd swear Nico's lips were turning blue.

I shook my head. "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a thief."

Bianca didn't say anything. I could swear she looked guilty, but I didn't have much time to think about it,

Nico knew what that meant, and the painful knot he was trying so hard to push away only grew tighter in him as knowledge settled in. There was nobody to blame. It wasn't Grover eating the edge of that stupid crown to do this. It wasn't Percy's fault he hadn't saved her from a fate she'd brought upon herself. Was it his fault? Had she finally done one thing for him, and it had been her last?

because the giant defective Talos took one step toward us, closing half the distance and making the ground shake.

"Run!" Grover yelped.

"Where?" Rachel asked through numb lips. The idea of painting someone outrunning a skyscraper was a monumental task that would take more paint than even she could afford, almost.

Great advice, except that it was hopeless. At a leisurely stroll, this thing could outdistance us easily.

We split up, the way we'd done with the Nemean Lion. Thalia drew her shield and held it up as she ran down the highway. The giant swung his sword and took out a row of power lines, which exploded in sparks and scattered across Thalia's path.

Zoe's arrows whistled toward the creature's face but shattered harmlessly against the metal. Grover brayed like a baby goat and went climbing up a mountain of metal.

"I think those nightmares about the Cyclops den are finally going to be chased away for him," Magnus whispered as he pressed as far back into his seat as he could. The poor guy's nightmare of fake feat chasing him a reality, and the growing dread of every word his guess had been wrong. Annabeth wasn't anywhere near this place, he hoped, unless she was inside that thing.

Bianca and I ended up next to each other, hiding behind a broken chariot.

"You took something," I said. "That bow."

"No!" she said, but her voice was quivering.

"Give it back!" I said. "Throw it down!"

"I... I didn't take the bow! Besides, it's too late."

"What did you take?"

Before she could answer, I heard a massive creaking noise, and a shadow blotted out the sky.

"Move!" I tore down the hill, Bianca right behind me, as the giant's foot smashed a crater in the ground where we'd been hiding.

"Hey, Talos!" Grover yelled, but the monster raised his sword, looking down at Bianca and me.

Grover played a quick melody on his pipes. Over at the highway, the downed power lines began to dance. I understood what Grover was going to do a split second before it happened. One of the poles with power lines still attached flew toward Talos's back leg and wrapped around his calf. The lines sparked and sent a jolt of electricity up the giant's backside.

"How the hell can he do that?" Jason looked faint at this power the satyr had been sleeping on.

"Electricity is a manifest of nature," Thalia said grimly. She'd been a little to busy to question him about it. Her quiet, deadly tone didn't encourage further questions.

Talos whirled around, creaking and sparking. Grover had bought us a few seconds.

"Come on!" I told Bianca. But she stayed frozen. From her pocket, she brought out a small metal figurine, a statue of a god. "It... it was for Nico. It was the only statue he didn't have."

She called it a statue. Not a toy, not an action figure. She actually called it a statue. The figurine he'd been obsessed with finding since his first deck.

"How can you think of Mythomagic at a time like this?" I said.

There were tears in her eyes.

"Throw it down," I said. "Maybe the giant will leave us alone."

She dropped it reluctantly, but nothing happened.

The giant kept coming after Grover. It stabbed its sword into a junk hill, missing Grover by a few feet, but scrap metal made an avalanche over him, and then I couldn't see him anymore.

"No!" Thalia yelled.

Not again, Thalia's eyes sparked with blistering anger. Grover had seen them through the worst of the monsters chasing them in that last leg to Camp, all knobby kneed and still with a quick smile of false confidence he knew where he was going. He alone had kept his promise to look after Annabeth and been her friend all those years. She only wished her blast of raw energy had been enough before it had been to late. She'd saved Grover to continue his quest, but she hadn't saved everybody.

She pointed her spear, and a blue arc of lightning shot out, hitting the monster in his rusty knee, which buckled. The giant collapsed, but immediately started to rise again. It was hard to tell if it could feel anything. There weren't any emotions in its halfmelted face, but I got the sense that it was about as ticked off as a twenty-story-tall metal warrior could be.

He raised his foot to stomp and I saw that his sole was treaded like the bottom of a sneaker. There was a hole in his heel, like a large manhole, and there were red words painted around it, which I deciphered only after the foot came down: FOR MAINTENANCE ONLY.

"Crazy-idea time," I said.

"I still hate those words," Magnus groaned.

"I still love them," but Alex's tone was an uneasy mutter, the room was giving them all light-sensitive headaches and flashing so much they should be worried if anybody could have a seizure.

Bianca looked at me nervously. "Anything."

I told her about the maintenance hatch. "There may be a way to control the thing. Switches or something. I'm going to get inside."

"How? You'll have to stand under its foot! You'll be crushed"

"Distract it," I said. "I'll just have to time it right."

Bianca's jaw tightened. "No. I'll go."

"You can't. You're new at this! You'll die."

Nico had felt a tickling sense those first weeks awake he'd never known what to call. A sense of warped vision when he looked at a student in class and they fell down the stairs the wrong way. A kid at Camp who hadn't come out of the Forest after training. He wondered if his sister had felt that sensation in the air this starry night. If she had felt it for herself and not cared, or for one of the others and stepped in its path. Fault, fault, the word echoed oddly in his head as the cracks in the ground steadily began widening in his mind. Was there a god of fault, and when would they come for him?

"It's my fault the monster came after us," she said.

Will would have done anything right then to never make that choking noise escape Nico again. Push the son of Hades into Percy's arms, gone to the underworld and asked the god himself to give her back. How could it be fair that someone so alone had suffered the most?

"It's my responsibility. Here." She picked up the little god statue and pressed it into my hand. "If anything happens, give that to Nico. Tell him... tell him I'm sorry."

Sorry? She was sorry she'd left him without an explanation, that he'd had to be trapped in a room to hear her last moments! She was sorry she'd abandoned him to figure out everything on his own and leave him with nothing but a statue! Anger burned so bright, he finally felt his power in its full, he could have shadow traveled out of here, he could have done anything.

But he clenched his fists tight, one on his Hades figurine and one on his sword. He'd hear every word she'd never wanted him to. Her sorry would get its every last breath into him.

"Bianca, no!"

But she wasn't waiting for me. She charged at the monster's left foot.

There was nothing Percy could have done to stop her, but he wanted to. He wished he'd tackled her to the ground, but she'd moved swift as the moonlight, he hadn't stood a chance against her Huntress speed. She was blessed with a goddess favor, if anyone could survive this, surely it had been her.

So why did he feel like there was a gap in his memory that would never be filled as he looked at Nico? A promise, a promise he'd broken.

Thalia had its attention for the moment. She'd learned that the giant was big but slow. If you could stay close to it and not get smashed, you could run around it and stay alive. At least, it was working so far.

Jason had always admired these Greek kids technique for adapting, especially in moments like this. With enough time and support like she had, he had ever confidence Thalia could have fallen this beast and found herself a trophy worthy of a- his mind blanked on the word, and he scowled for himself.

Bianca got right next to the giant's foot, trying to balance herself on the metal scraps that swayed and shifted with his weight.

Zoe yelled, "What are you doing?"

"Get it to raise its foot!" she said.

Zoe shot an arrow toward the monster's face and it flew straight into one nostril. The giant straightened and shook its head.

"Hey, Junk Boy!" I yelled. "Down here."

I ran up to its big toe and stabbed it with Riptide. The magic blade cut a gash in the bronze.

Percy had helped. They had all helped with this crazy plan that had gotten her killed. The anger wouldn't rise in Nico though. His confidence the hero of a lifetime could save everybody had shattered that cold day and been wavering ever since. Anything he was supposed to feel just put another twist in the knot he was now kicking and shoving away so hard just like she'd wanted.

Unfortunately, my plan worked.

"That happens a lot with your crazy plans," Magnus said in a jittery way, because this time it wasn't Percy executing his crazy plan. He was still sitting in front of them, sort of breathing as adrenaline kept him and the water around them in a constant swirl they were starting to get concerningly used to.

Nico had never once talked about his sister in here. He should have known from the start, that look of a lost boy, a kid who could never go home to his family. He saw it every day in the mirror.

 Talos looked down at me and raised his foot to squash me like a bug. I didn't see what Bianca was doing. I had to turn and run. The foot came down about two inches behind me and I was knocked into the air. I hit something hard and sat up, dazed. I'd been thrown into an Olympus-Air refrigerator.

The monster was about to finish me off, but Grover somehow dug himself out of the junk pile. He played his pipes frantically, and his music sent another power line pole whacking against Talos's thigh. The monster turned. Grover should've run, but he must've been too exhausted from the effort of so much magic. He took two steps, fell, and didn't get back up.

"Grover!" Thalia and I both ran toward him, but I knew we'd be too late.

The monster raised his sword to smash Grover.

Then he froze.

Talos cocked his head to one side, like he was hearing strange new music. He started moving his arms and legs in weird ways, doing the Funky Chicken. Then he made a fist and punched himself in the face.

Alex let out a strangled noise that any other day would have been a laugh. She'd dreamed of fighting giants and destroying gods, hearing of this beautiful piece of deadly art living its full potential should have been the thrill of a lifetime. 

It wasn't the cold air they were breathing that made it all feel so unmistakably wrong though.

"Go, Bianca!" I yelled.

Zoe looked horrified. "She is inside?"

The monster staggered around, and I realized we were still in danger. Thalia and I grabbed Grover and ran with him toward the highway. Zoe was already ahead of us. She yelled, "How will Bianca get out?"

The giant hit itself in the head again and dropped his sword. A shudder ran through his whole body and he staggered toward the power lines.

"Look out!" I yelled, but it was too late.

The giant's ankle snared the lines, and blue flickers of electricity shot up his body. I hoped the inside was insulated. 

Thalia couldn't help it as she pressed herself close to Jason and looked at Nico with raw guilt of her own. They never knew the answer to that, or even if it mattered. For all they knew, her spirit had possessed that thing the moment she got inside and she'd been lost to them. It hadn't stopped the tormented thoughts plaguing her as they searched, it should have been her in there. She'd known it for so long after, one of the many reasons she'd shifted the burden of the prophecy away. Her absolute conviction she should have died this night.

If she had though, she'd never have found her brother giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, his strangely tight face watching with calculated interest trying to predict the outcome in a person she should have known her whole life. Bianca had lost the chance to be with her own little brother again so she could meet hers, and she sent a silent prayer of thanks to wherever the girl was as the guilt clenched tight.

I had no idea what was going on in there. The giant careened back into the junkyard, and his right hand fell off, landing in the scrap metal with a horrible CLANG!

His left arm came loose, too. He was falling apart at the joints.

Talos began to run.

"Wait!" Zoe yelled. We ran after him, but there was no way we could keep up. Pieces of the robot kept falling off, getting in our way.

The giant crumbled from the top down: his head, his chest, and finally, his legs collapsed. When we reached the wreckage we searched frantically, yelling Bianca's name. We crawled around in the vast hollow pieces and the legs and the head. We searched until the sun started to rise, but no luck.

Zoe sat down and wept. I was stunned to see her cry.

Rachel pressed her hands tight together as if in prayer, but the bones in her fingers were too tense, the skin taught with stress as she mimicked a measure of calm her dad often forced, lacing her fingers together as she looked back up with a knowing, sorrowful gaze. She could hear the plea of anything to be done, Grover's tracking spell, reanimating the beast in a crazy stunt to go inside again, but it would all be for naught. This was a feeling she'd have to grow used to, the Oracle did not have the answers for why this had happened.

Thalia yelled in rage and impaled her sword in the giant's smashed face.

"We can keep searching," I said. "It's light now. We'll find her."

"No we won't," Grover said miserably. "It happened just as it was supposed to."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

He looked up at me with big watery eyes. "The prophecy. One shall be lost in the land without rain."

Why hadn't I seen it? Why had I let her go instead of me?

Here we were in the desert. And Bianca di Angelo was gone.

There was a faint, sharp, howling noise like a whistle, long and ringing in their ears growing by the decibel as Nico sat hunched in on himself, arms wrapped so tight his jacket was straining at the seams. He hated her so much. He missed her every day.

He'd held onto his anger and denial for so long, been trying to ease into acceptance every passing hour he'd known this was coming, but somewhere along the way he'd skipped right over a grief that was swirling around him now, making ghostly shadows appear, the floor was cracking dangerously right up to the wall and that haunting wail sounded like it was right outside as his breaths couldn't seem to stop rasping loose.

"Nico," Will couldn't have stood by seeing anyone in this state, he had no hesitation left as he put his arms gently around him, gathering his pain close to his chest and whispered, "just let it out."

He wasn't afraid of the infinite flickering forms being drawn to him in the ocean, and trusted as Percy jumped to his feet his sword was to keep the apparitions back rather than the dawning horror for whoever was left needed to realize who and what Nico was capable of as he choked on a sob and pressed in close.

Images, memories, but more than anything, longing kept flashing through Nico in a weighted pattern with little rhyme or reason. She'd never go back to Italy with him to visit their mothers home, she'd never call him Neeks again and make that annoyed face when he asked her for homework help but then she'd do it for him anyways, she'd never give him as many packs of Mythomagic cards as she could pit-pocket, she'd never get a chance to perfect that recipe or grow up, forcing him to forever age past his big sister.

He didn't feel alone though, as the pain inevitably subsided enough he could breathe again. Will's grip was gentle but firm all at once, strong but pliable. He couldn't pull back, and his friend didn't make him want to.

[dufrau]

29 PLEASE. but also 38, 41, 43, 45, 46, 47 (part two)

29. give us a spoiler for one of your stories.

oh god this is hard because i dont really have an active WIP right now??? uh in the most recent bigfoot update, if robin had asked nancy whether *she* was seeing anybody, she would have found out nancy has a boyfriend, but that conversation was such a can of worms i just couldnt make it flow in the context of that story. nancy comes off as having her shit way more together in that scene but she is actually still just as much of a messy asshole as robin is 🤷

38. how many stories do you work on at one time?

lately one at a time. sometimes a handful at once. i have a few half-started things but tbh i am running out of WIPs and it's making me very nervous!

41. what is the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

answered (glee rachel/santana fallout new vegas AU ft cannibalism)

43. how did writing change you?

hmm. there is no way to answer this without being sincere and corny, so. i find it unbelievably fulfilling creatively. i went to school for fine arts and i was good enough at it but i never really had any drive to do it and i didnt really care about it 99% of the time. i paint minis for dnd now and that is sort of fulfilling but is more of a meditative/mental health exercise for me than a creative one. writing is i think the creative outlet i have been looking for always, i love it. i hope to keep doing it for a long time.

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@eskawrites, @coeurdastronaute, telanu

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

Evening, like 8pm to midnight. If I trick myself into getting started when I get up in the morning I can be pretty productive from like 10am to 2pm also. But evening most of the time.

47. what story are you most proud of?

One Too Many Mornings. This took me so long to work on. It was so hard, and I had so much doubt about it from the get go. It was emotionally exhausting and it has gotten less kudos than anything else ive written besides the thing i posted a couple days ago. I think its the best thing Ive written but just getting through it, the labor of it, finally finishing it and having it be, in my opinion, very good, was so worthwhile to me as an experience.

PART TWO IN THE BOOKS BAYBEEEEE