#god the things i'd let Captain Price do to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gauloiseblue · 26 days

Text

Medic!Reader × Poly!141

Part I | Part II | Part III

[Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, a love confession if you squint]

Taglist: @rainlovesyou12 @nijiru

When you're back at the base, the first thing that you get from your team is collective stares

"What happened to your cheek?" Price asked, visibly concerned

"Got punched by an asshole." You replied, still holding the ice pack against your face

"How did it happen?" He then glares at Graves, "You let this happen on your watch?"

He throws both of his hands in the air, while maintaining his smug face, "Easy there, soldiers." He said, "Sorry that I got your princess harmed, but it's necessary for the mission."

"Necessary?" Price growls, "Watch your mouth when you speak, Graves."

"Alright, alright. I'll leave." He then pats on Gaz's shoulder before turning around

The group immediately approaches you after he leaves, trying to look at your wound

"Whoa, he really gave you a nasty punch." Soap commented, "He wore rings?"

"All over his fingers."

"It'll take long before the bruise heals." Ghost interjected, "Since you're the medic here, I'm sure you know what's best for you."

Price nods before he looks at you, "You don't have to work today, you can rest after a mission."

"No, I'll come to work." You said, "Don't worry about me, captain."

He seems reluctant, but lets you do it anyway

Thankfully, your job requires you to use a mask, so most of your bruises are concealed.

At dinner, Graves brings quite a lot of alcohol to celebrate their mission. (The team had retrieved the important documents, as well as eliminating the target, so It's pretty much a success)

You usually skipped alcohol, but tonight you feel like you need it, so you join in

The table that you're in is pretty big, so three other soldiers are sitting with you and you team

Surprisingly, your team can handle their alcohol very well, but Soap is a lively drunkard, he talks a lot, and keeps the alcohol flows

Meanwhile, you're a chatty drunk. You can't keep a secret when you're drunk

"He touched me with his filthy hand, so of course I'd slap him." You confessed, "But then he dared to punch me in the face. The audacity."

"That's rough." Gaz winced

"But y'know, sometimes our job comes with those kinds of things." One of the men shrugged, "I didn't ask for it when I got shot or tortured, but then again, that's the consequences of my job."

"I didn't ask to be a surveillance." You hissed, "I'm just a medic, for God's sake."

"You could've ask him—"

"I did! I even tried to reason with him but nooo, he did care." You grit your teeth, "Even after roping me into this, he never once gave me any info for the mission and told me to be pretty and meek. At least I could've prepared if he told me things I could be dealing with during the mission."

"Cut it out, boy." Price stopped him before he could reply, "Y'know Graves was in the wrong here. We always brief our soldiers before missions."

"I'm not defending him."

The other man, who's silent for the whole interaction, finally speaks, "Maybe he did it because you've been using his name for unnecessary things."

You snort, "Somehow borrowing his name equals me almost getting raped?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes mentioning a certain name equals death."

"Yeah, okay, I get it." You immediately got up from your seat, "I'm just a spoiled bastard who can't handle the slightest discomfort aren't I?"

"Where are ye goin'?" Soap called when you're walking away

"My room. I'm tired of this shit."

Once you get into your room, you don’t bother to change your clothes as you go straight to bed

Of course, after getting angry and all, you can't immediately fall asleep. It takes about 15 minutes, before you're free from your anger

Then, you hear a knock on the door, before you hear a voice calls your name softly from outside

"Are you still awake?" You heard Price spoke

You contemplate whether you should answer or not, and decide to pick the first one

"Can I come in?" He asked, and you said yes

He steps inside, and pulls a chair by your bed. You turn around to see him, not hiding the tears streak on your face

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier, I hope you know he didn't mean that."

"I know." You frown while looking away, "I know all of those soldiers didn't mean to yell, or use hurtful words, I understand that, but I always try to comfort them, not telling them to grin and bear it."

He nods understandingly, "The constant threat in the field does make people numb to other's needs."

"Why are you here? Are you apologizing on their behalf?"

"No, I just got a feeling that you'd change division if I didn't clear it up."

You let out an amused snort, "I was just thinking about leaving. I hate Graves anyway."

"I won't force you to stay but I'll be very sad if you don't, you know how much I love your food." You roll your eyes at him, he chuckles, "Please hold on for one more month, then we'll go back home, to our base."

"Well, I can't disobey you if you say that, Captain."

"You better be."

You chuckle at him, and he gives you his usual (and sweet) smile. "Thank you, Price. I really do."

"No prob." He pats your arm, "You can talk to me whenever you want."

"I'll keep it in mind."

The next morning, when you're preparing your medical equipments, a patient comes into the room, and catches you by surprise as you recognize his face

"Johnny? Oh—" You hurriedly come to his side, "What happened to your face?"

"Got into a fight last nite." He grins, "Y'should've seen the other guy tho."

"My God, why did you do that? Who was it?" He looked away when you asked him, "... Don't tell me,"

"Ye don't 've ta worry 'bout it, bonnie."

"You can't make me not worry about you." You retorted, "They could've given a penalty!"

"Nah, they won't. 'M too valuable for that."

"Still," You let out a sigh, "You didn't have to do that."

"Yer angry at 'em."

"But it's only for a moment. I'm… used to that."

He looks at you for a moment, before pulling your hand into his. "Bonnie, ye kno' when you asked me to be a fake boyfie, ye told me that no one in the group'd be willin' ta help ya?" You furrow your brows at him as he continues, "Well, t'was a lie. They won't hesitate ta help ya, bonnie. But I didn't tell ya because I don't want 'em to."

You open your mouth to speak, but no word comes out of your mouth.

He chuckles at your silence, before giving your shoulder a pat." Make of that wha' yer will."

With that, he left the room. Leaving you there, dumbfounded, before you realize you haven't even treated him yet

You thought about him for half of a day, until lunch came and you sat down on the table without looking around. You didn't hear when the chair beside you was pulled, before someone took a seat

"Man, I miss your cooking." You snapped out of your thoughts, as you turned to see Gaz. "Everything tastes bland here, I can't even tell the difference between one dish and the other."

You chuckle when he pokes out his tongue in dismay, "I miss cooking too," You stare down at your plate, "... Helped me clear my mind."

"What's on your mind?" He asked, "Care to share?"

"Not sure if you'd wanna hear it though."

"What are you saying?" He retorted softly as he gave your shoulder a squeeze, "You know I'd listen to you."

"You're sweet, Gaz." You chuckled, "But really, I just wanna go back to our base. But at the same time, I feel like I'm just retreating back to my shell. I know that I can't be choosy for this job, but I wish I could be with you guys for a long time."

His gaze stays on you for a while, before he speaks in a hushed tone, "Don't tell anyone that I say this to you, but last night, me and Price were discussing about your contract, and," He leans closer, "It's possible to do a rescission for the contract. Since you've been put in harm's way."

"Really?"

He nods, "He might pull some strings to get you back, but the higher ups would dismiss it since you're not an operator. We're confident that this'll work, since Laswell herself has approved it."

You look at him for a moment, before pulling him into your arms. "Thank you." You said to him, "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

You feel him smile before he pats your back, "People said that you're a spoiled princess," He grinned, "But we certainly don't mind spoiling you."

"You'll regret it someday."

"You're worth the regret."

His words stuck with you for the rest of the day, and somehow it lifted up your spirit as you took care of the wounded with ease. At night, when you're walking back to your room, you spot the masked man in the hallway. His head turns when you call his name, and you wave at him.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Are you done for the day?"

"Mostly." He replied, "Just need to fill some paperwork."

"Alright then."

The two of you would bid goodbye, if you both didn't hear the angry stomp echoing in the corridor. You turn your head towards the sound, and your blood runs cold as you recognize the face

"I need to talk to you." Graves said with an unmistakable rage in his voice, "My office. Now."

You're about to open your mouth before you feel yourself pulled, until your body bumps against a hard muscle. It takes a second before you realize that Simon has his arm wrapped around you.

"Get outta the way, boy." He warned with a glare, "It's none of your business."

"No." He stated, as he kept you by his side

He snorts when he hears it. "No?" He sneered

"If it's about the revocation of the contract, she's not the one who filed it." He glared, "I did."

"Oh." He raised his brow in a mocking manner, "So you're the one who wrote those things?"

"Affirmative." He responded, "I was the one who saw her during the assault, so I'm eligible to give the account as a witness."

You see his muscles harden under his neck, as he hisses to the masked man, "I hope you're ready for Russia because that's where I'm sending you."

"Go ahead and try."

Just like that, the storm has passed by.

You don't know how long you stand there, before he reluctantly lets you go from his arm. You clear your throat as you step aside to face him.

"Um… Thank you." You told him while looking down

You feel his eyes on you, before his hand reaches up to pat your head. "It's nothing."

He bids you goodnight as he tells you to return to your room. You obey as you walk to your door, but when you look back to see him, you still find him standing on the same spot

The next morning, when you deliver your report to the Captain's office, you notice a familiar figure by his desk

The two men were talking, before they lifted their head when you walked in

"Hi." You greeted them, "Hope I'm not interrupting?"

"Not at all." Price reassured, "We were just discussing over something."

"Somethin' ta help fo' yer case, bonnie." His captain nudged him when he said it, "Wot? 'M sho she a'ready knew."

"Is it about Graves?"

"Well," He sighs, "It is. We were just talking about the things that he submitted as evidence."

You shot him a puzzled look, before you turn to Soap.

"The letters, bonnie." He grinned, "I gave him the letters tha' bastard wrote."

"You still had those with you?"

"'Course!" He chuckled, "Ah wanted to use it to rile him up, turns out they're useful for yer case."

"While they won't be included as real evidence, they're enough to convince Laswell to give her approval."

You look at him, while hugging the file close to your chest. "Price, I don't know if I could even repay you back—"

"Don't worry about it, (Name)." He dismissed it by a flick of his hand, "It's my job to ensure your safety."

"And out job ta keep the valuable member o' the team by our side." Soap added with a pat on your back, "Graves can bugger off with his shite."

"Oh…" You cover your mouth, trying to contain your emotions. "Thank you, I—"

"Stop it, bonnie." He said as he pulled you against his chest, "You owe us nothin'."

You didn't cry joyless tears, but they didn't know since you couldn't speak through your sob. You feel bad for causing them to panic, since you cry not out of distress, rather, you're touched by their kindness. When you feel Soap's embrace tightens, and your Captain's hand on your back, you can't help but indulge for a little while

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #price x reader #soap x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #price cod #soap cod #gaz cod #ghost cod #whew. it's finally done. thank you for reading <3 #fixed the last part

147 notes · View notes

strlingsav · 7 months

Text

Drive: Six

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F! Reader

Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

You blinked a few times, your attention grabbed by a knock at your door. You groaned, pulling your eyes from staring at the TV, to eyeing the door. Standing to your feet, you trudged to answer it.

Your slippers hit the ground as you neared the door, wrapping your blanket over your shoulders to draw in more warmth.

Pulling the door open, your eyes met with a familiar face- Simon. You sighed, reaching to slam the door when his foot stepped forward and caught it before it could close. You ignored it, making your way back to the couch where you sat down with a huff.

"You ain't been answerin' my calls," He said, moving forward to enter your apartment. "Thought I'd check in."

He idled, unlike him, and searched your apartment with awkward eyes- full of unspoken emotions and feelings that he'd been harbouring since your surgery. He lingered by the door, watching you curl up on your sofa in an attempt to drown him out.

"Thought I told you I don't need you here," You answered back, your eyes glued to the TV.

He sighed, slowly stepping toward the couch, where you'd practically lived for the last few months since being dismissed. You hadn't cooked a meal, done laundry- you'd hardly left the comfortable and inviting abyss for anything other than the bathroom and a shower.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Y'said that. I don't believe it."

You rolled your eyes, tucking your knees to your chest.

"If I wanted to hear from you, I'd have answered your calls." You met his gaze briefly, before shifting to stare at the screen.

"There was a time you were glad to hear from me. Glad to have me here."

"That was before you fucked up my career."

He paused, his brows furrowing. So much had changed between spending the night wrapped in his arms and now- hardly able to stand the sight of him. You'd found out about his insubordination not long after that night; in court, where you'd been honourably discharged following Price's report of the incident. It was only mercy on Price's behalf that you hadn't seen more severe consequences.

Simon, however, was too valuable. His experience, rank, knowledge- they couldn't let him go. Shepherd wouldn't allow it, and the task force would be scrambling without him. So instead, they let you go. Dissolved your contract and effectively made you a social pariah in the eyes of your teammates.

You never knew exactly what he'd confessed to. Was it the entirety of your relationship? The nearly year-long affair that you'd hidden from everyone, including your captain? Or did he only mention a few nights, a few mistakes?

"Savin' your life is fuckin' up your career?"

"I'd rather you have kept your mouth shut. I lost my job. I lost my dignity, the respect of my teammates. I don't even know what to do with myself now."

"You knew the risks goin' in, sweetheart. It ain't my fault you ain't happy with the consequences."

"Except it is- because if you'd done your job instead of worrying about me, I wouldn't be sitting here on this couch."

"You'd be dead," Simon said, finding your eyes. "You'd be fuckin' dead. You expect me to let you bleed out? You daft?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Simon."

"We ain't talked in weeks. You can hardly look at me. So I'll talk," He said. "You've got no bloody idea how it made me feel to hear your voice over my radio. I wasn't gonna let you die. Hate me all you like, sweetheart, but if I were to do it over again, I'd do the exact same fuckin thing."

Your eyes met his, inhaling harshly as you deliberated what to say next. You were angry; maybe not at him, maybe at Price, or yourself, or the panel of military officers that agreed to have you discharged. But you were angry. Frustrated.

You paused, finally free to think for a moment while you stared at him. God, did you miss him. You missed his brown eyes, crooked nose, and disheveled hair. The smell he exuded that left your stomach with butterflies and calmed your senses. Your eyes reached his lips, twitching with restlessness and frustration. You wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel something other than utter failure and humiliation.

You clenched your jaw- how long could you truly hold out? Stay away from him? It was completely obvious from the moment you woke up from surgery and saw him across the room. You loved him. But your heart, regardless of whether it was in the right place, couldn't stand the thought of holding him back. You needed to be cut off from the source.

"I know," You nodded. "I think that's the problem. We got too wrapped up- too focused on something that wasn't real, wasn't sustainable."

"Not real?" He grimaced, backing away. "Don't you fuckin' say that. We both know it was real."

You sighed, leaning back against the couch as you looked up to meet his gaze. Your stomach dropped.

"We liked it because it was wrong. Give yourself some time, you'll realize. You won't want me without the risk."

He glared, a deadly glare that made you feel scrutinized under his gaze.

"I don't know what kinda shit you been fed, but I still want you. Fuck- I want you. More now than ever, sweetheart."

He knelt down, letting his palm smooth over your cheek, his long fingers meeting the side of your head. He forced you to meet his gaze, those cold brown eyes poring into yours.

"I want you." He repeated, watching you inhale a sharp breath.

You wanted to cry, scream; anything to get him out of your vicinity, or else you'd cave. You'd give in to his sweet words and intoxicating voice. You'd give in to nostalgia and the warm feelings he flooded you with. But you wanted to be angry, wanted to stay angry so you didn't have to face exactly what you were feeling for him.

"Stop," You blurted, your hand wrapping around his wrist in an attempt to remove it. "Simon-"

He held strong, pulling the blanket off your body as he wedged himself between your thighs, pulling you closer. His nose brushed against your cheek, his warm breath tickling your ear.

"Don't-" You started, before he cut you off by pressing his lips to yours.

They were cold and unwelcoming, an effort to get you to be quiet, to stop talking before you said something that would end things indefinitely.

You squirmed in his grasp for a moment, before the nostalgia hit; the feel of his arms on your palms, a soft scruff formed on his face, his nose brushing against yours. His tongue slid inside your mouth, and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You jolted forward, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he clung to your waist with his giant paw-like hands. He pulled you into his chest, turning his body to sit on the couch with you on his lap. Your hands grabbed at his face, whimpering as his hands drifted down to your ass.

"I missed you," He said between your lips, pulling your body closer to his.

He lifted your shirt off your torso, breathless gasps for air as you disconnected, before he removed his himself. Your eyes drifted to his impressively muscular abdomen, and the bulky shoulders and biceps that moved as he desperately pulled you into him.

You shivered, a low groan escaping your lips when he pressed his to your neck. His kisses were soft, savouring the texture and smell of your skin in case you decided to pull away. He reached around to relieve you of your bra, pulling it off you before his calloused hands glided up your sides and cupped your breasts.

Your hips moved forward, a motion of which you hoped would give some pleasure, especially as he showered your breasts with small bites and warm licks across your nipples. His hands dug into your flesh, frantically reaching for any part of you he could grab.

He lowered his hand to your waistband, sliding it beneath your panties to feel you again. His eyes shut, a heavy breath in as his fingers reached your clit. He missed the feel of you, how soft and silky every single part of you was. How inviting you were, how wet you got for him even when he'd hardly touched you.

"Fuckin' 'ell," He grumbled under his breath, while his other hand held you in place. "Y' feel so goddamn good."

You whimpered quietly, grinding your clit over his fingers, soft breaths fanning his face. You reached and pulled the waistband of your pants down, haphazardly removing your sweatpants before settling back down on his lap.

He swiftly lifted you, pinning you to the couch beneath him. Your hands flew to his chest, warm to the touch, and he paused briefly.

"Don't tell me to stop," He breathed, removing his belt with one hand as he pulled his jeans down his hips. His cock was pressed against your thigh, heavy, warm, teasing you with every subtle grind of his hips. "Please, sweetheart," He whispered, nose brushing against your cheek.

Your breath caught in your chest at his plea, goosebumps scattering your skin as he begged you not to stop, to allow him to please you.

"It's okay," You nodded, your arms sliding around his shoulders, pulling him against you. "I want you."

He groaned softly, aligning his cock with your pussy before slowly sinking in at an agonizing pace. Your back arched into him, your eyes meeting his as your jaw fell slack.

"Yes," You whispered, choked and strained. "Yes- please."

He buried his head in your neck, rounding his hips as he pushed his cock even deeper inside you. Your wetness allowed him to slide in with ease, and his choked breaths in your ear alerted you to the fact that he wouldn't last long.

"Missed you-missed bein' inside you," He mumbled, panting heavily beside you.

The confession made your heart clench- you knew Simon well. It took a lot for him to admit to missing you, even if it was said in passing while fucking you. He meant it.

Your eyes were watery; half pleasure and sadness, a bitter-sweet feeling that made you press your head against his shoulder, wrap your legs around his waist. You wanted to be close, you wanted comfort. You wanted things to be back the way they were, but a small part of you was almost grateful now. The other, larger, part knew that it was likely the end for the two of you. Your commitment had ended as soon as you were discharged, and you imagined Simon would move along to the next.

You knew he didn't want to hear that you loved him. He didn't want to know that even if he'd stuck his neck out and it lead to ending your career, you were thankful, grateful. He'd saved your life, you knew that, and yet you couldn't bring yourself to tell him how you felt. Because if you did, you'd be making him choose between his career and yourself. And he'd choose his career.

His hand cradled your head, his thumb finding your lip, pushing his finger between your teeth. His elbow was placed beside your head, rhythmic thrusts that were consistent, hitting the spot every time. Your eyes made contact with his, brows furrowed, mouth agape as he thrusted into you, finding pleasure in watching your lips wrap around his thumb.

He craned his neck, his lips pressing against your throat, and at the same time, as your fingers circled your clit in tandem with his thrusts, you tilted your head back. A moan, from deep in your chest, animalistic and genuine, escaped as your muscles tensed, your orgasm descending quickly.

"Fuck sake," He grunted, overwhelmed by the strength of your pussy constricting around his cock.

You shivered, your consciousness returning as your orgasm finished in short bursts. Your chest heaved as you caught your breath, and shortly after that, Simon's thrusts became short and rough. His hips slamming against yours, until he released inside you with a groan.

You fell back with a sigh, watching Simon's face, cheeks flushed, brows dipped together. He hesitated for a moment, before lifting himself off of you, retreating to the other side of the couch.

You sat up, making eye contact with him. It was silent, only the noise of the TV to cover the heavy breathing between you. Admittedly, it was uncomfortabl. It was the first time you'd felt awkward around Simon, unsure what was next.

He reached out to grab your shirt, offering it to you. You blinked, taking it and pulling it over your head.

"Thanks," You whispered. "For everything. I should've said that, before."

"No thanks necessary," He shook his head.

You waited a beat, with watery eyes and a dizzy head. You were beyond confused; what started out as a simple affair had turned into deep feelings and complicated emotions. It overwhelmed you, to say the least, and before you began to cry, you cleared your throat.

You nodded. "You should head out," You said, a lump growing in your throat.

You wanted him to stay. You wanted to blurt out that you loved him- but you couldn't do that to him, couldn't force your feelings on him when he wasn't likely to stick around. You didn't want to be the one to take things a step further while he was halfway across the world. It wasn't fair.

He looked shocked- like it was the last thing he expected to hear from you. He'd thought it was smoothed over, that you knew what he wanted. But your eyes couldn't meet his, and his gut sank as he realized you were never going to feel the way he did. You wouldn't want him the way he wanted you.

He stood from the couch, yanking his shirt on.

"Goodnight," He muttered, stepping past you as he walked to the door. "Just know I meant it. Everythin' I said."

Your head turned to see him again, briefly catching a glimpse of his boot before the door slammed.

#cod mw2 #simon riley #ghost x reader #cod mwii #mwii #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost smut #simon riley smut #strlingsavwrites #drive series

256 notes · View notes

callsign-bunnie · 1 year

Note

Please please part 3 I can’t be left like this. I am dying in the desert, the illusion of oasis waiting in front of me. Please please more SCP I need the oasis to heal my wounds and heal my mind. Thank you 🙏

Haha, I can't promise this is much better but here.

[Transcript start]

Laswell: Soap is still on the radio.

Price: Fuck. I worry about trying to stop him. Gaz tried to pull him away and he lost his mind

Laswell: Do you blame him?

Price: No. He blames himself.

Laswell: I know. It wasn't his fault, though.

Price: Tell him that.

Laswell: He'll rip my head off.

Price: Yeah.

Laswell: Have you found out anything?

Price: No. I'm trying, but it's hard to find anything out when we're stuck in here. Kate, I need everything you know about this foundation.

Laswell: Are you sure, John? It's not pretty.

Price: If we have any hope of getting out of here, I need everything.

Laswell: Alright. But... away from everyone.

[Transcript end]

[Transcript start]

Soap: Lieutenant Ghost, how copy?

Soap: Lieutenant Ghost.... how copy?

Soap: Goddamnit Ghost

Soap: Lieutenant Simon Riley, how copy?

Soap: Fuck.

[Transcript end]

[Transcript start]

Alex: I'm not saying I fully believe it's infinite, I'm saying the foundation does

Gaz: And you trust their judgement?

Alex: Not by any means but... I've seen some of the weird fucking things they keep. I'm just saying it's wise to keep an open mind.

Gaz: I keep an open mind, Alex

Farah: I just want to know why we were brought here. Why did Price ask us to come?

Alex: I don't know. I'm not too fucking happy about it, either. He had to have known this was a borderline suicide mission.

Gaz: You think this is a suicide mission?

Farah: It's not a suicide mission. I don't think Price would have brought us if it was. He sure as hell wouldn't have brought Gaz.

Alex: So he didn't know. That doesn't make me feel any better, Farah

Farah: I didn't say it would. But... I trust Price. He wouldn't bring us here to die.

Gaz: Well, we already lost Ghost, regardless. I'd like to not lose anyone else.

Alex: Alejandro and Rudy are going to do a scouting mission to see if they could find him.

Gaz: I hope they find him. Soap is... not doing well.

[Transcript end]

[Transcript start]

Alejandro: I take the east, you take the west

Rodolfo: Yes commander

Alejandro: Rudy, I think we can drop that here. I... get the feeling we're not going back for a while.

Rodolfo: I hope that's not true, Ale.

Alejandro: I have a bad feeling about this.

Rodolfo: Me too.

Alejandro: At least we're in this together, Rudy.

Rodolfo: Always, Ale

Rodolfo: There's no sign of him on my side, Alejandro.

Alejandro: None on mine, either. Should we go back?

Rodolfo: I think so.

Alejandro: Do you think Ghost is dead?

Rodolfo: I hope not. For Soap's sake.

Alejandro: Me too, Rudy.

Rodolfo: Soap is really torn up about it. I worry for him.

Alejandro: I agree. Let's get back before the lights go out.

Rodolfo: I'll meet you back at the camp.

[Transcript end]

[Transcript start]

Soap: Lieutenant Riley, how copy?

Price: Kid, he's not going to answer.

Soap: Fuck off, Price. You fucking brought us here.

Price: And I'm sorry for it.

Soap: Sorry won't bring him back.

Price: No it won't. But, neither will sitting here wasting away on this fucking radio. Soap, he's gone.

Soap: You don't know that he's dead, though. He could come back. He's Ghost. He will come back.

Price: If he does, it won't be because you obsessively called for him over the radio.

Soap: God, I just want him to come back?! Is that really so fucking awful?!

Price: No, of course not, kid...

Laswell: Leave him be, John

Price: Alright. Just... please sleep tonight, Johnny

Soap: I will.

Rodolfo: Sleep when I'm on second watch, Soap. Okay? I will keep calling for him.

Soap: Will Alejandro be fine with that?

Rodolfo: Alejandro will be pre-occupied.

Price: Rodolfo-

Rodolfo: With all due respect, Captain, we're here as a favor to you. You do not give us orders.

Price: I'm not ordering you. I am strongly advising you.

Rodolfo: Thank you, Captain. Your advice has been heard.

Price: But not listened to, eh?

Rodolfo: I do not order Alejandro.

Price: I think we all know that's not true. Rudy, I am asking you- do you really want Alejandro to end up like Ghost?

Rodolfo: ... No. I suppose I don't. I'll see what I can do.

Price: I can't order you but... I believe this is dangerous.

Soap: I'm with Price, Rudy. Ghost has already gone missing. We don't both need to be on the same boat.

Rodolfo: I hear you both. I will talk to him.

Soap: Thank you.

Price: That's all I can ask.

Soap: Lieutenant Ghost, how copy?

Soap: Ghost, how copy?

Soap: Ghost, please

Soap: Simon, I am begging you, please

Soap: Ghost, how copy?

Soap: Ghost, for fuck's sake! God fucking damnit!

Soap: Lieutenant Ghost, this is Mactavish, how copy-

???: This is Lieutenant Ghost, Captain Mactavish. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am to hear from you.

Soap: I'm not a captain, Ghost, what the hell??

???: I'm really not in the mood to be fucked with, John, I have just been through hell. Look, I have Roach-

Soap: Ghost, what the actual fuck are you talking about?! Roach is back at camp with me.

???: No? Roach is two feet away from me.

Soap: I can fucking look at him, right now. He's sleeping right in front of me.

???: What did you say your name was?

Soap: Sergeant Johnny Soap Mactavish. SAS officer. What's yours?

???: Lieutenant Simon Ghost Riley, I'm sorry did you say Sergeant?

Soap: Yes. There is no way in hell you are Simon.

???: There's no way in hell you're John Mactavish.

[Transcript end]

141 notes · View notes

viviennevermillion · 2 years

Text

Kaeya Alberich is a terrible wingman

notes: chaos ensues. as it should. I should write more fics about character's being the reader's wingman because the sheer hilarity of situations a very dedicated friend can cause for a poor crushing soul is amazing

contains: diluc x gn!reader, kaeya as reader's self-proclaimed wingman, platonic kaeya x gn!reader

warnings: none

"Why, for the love of all that is holy, are you even so invested in my non-existent love life?", you pouted as Cavalry Captain Kaeya dragged you one step closer to Angel's Share.

"Well, see it as me doing you a favor", he shrugged with a grin on his face, "besides, at the latest at your wedding he'll have to get along with me again."

You raised an eyebrow. "And you really see no better options to bury your family feud than sending me, a poor innocent bystander who has done nothing wrong ever in their life, to the front lines to suffer miserably?" Kaeya chuckled at your hyperbole and linked his arm with yours joyfully.

"You do know you should just talk it out right?", you let out a sigh and shook your head. "I've found significant others make an excellent conversation starter", Kaeya insisted and you got the feeling he was just doing this for his own amusement. Actually that was exactly what he was doing. The streets were already pretty empty compared to Mondstadt's usual crowded market places and Kaeya had bribed you to accompany him to Angel's Share to see Diluc. With the threat 'If you don't make a move I might just have to tell him myself' he had sealed your fate and you could only pray to the archons that Kaeya would not deliberately make things awkward.

"I don't even like taverns", you whined and pulled your jacket tighter around you. "For someone who hates taverns you come here pretty often....and all that just to see my dear brother", Kaeya winked and you rolled your eyes. "You know that's not the main reason I come here. Venti also knows of my....", your voice quieted down and you hesitated, ".....feelings.....for Diluc and I come here to watch him so he doesn't spill my secrets after too much wine or GOD FORBID turns them into a musical number." Kaeya laughed. "I would love to see that."

Glad to see you're having fun with this, Kaeya...

Opening the door to the tavern, the two of you were met with the laughter and loud voices of drunk citizens, the smell of wine and the ethereal view of Diluc in a high ponytail and a short-sleeved shirt pouring drinks behind the counter of the bar. Your eyes fell on him and his presence seemed to immediately drown out your noisy and annoying environment. Enough so, that you accidentally bumped into a drunk customer who cursed at you under his breath and stumbled out of the door. You glared at Kaeya who was snickering about the whole ordeal.

"Well you certainly seem in high spirits", Diluc noticed and nodded towards Kaeya. "Yeah, today was a great day and I thought I'd celebrate it by coming here with my good friend, y/n", he gestured towards you and then towards his adoptive brother, "Diluc." "We literally know eachother-"

"Pay no mind to him", Diluc gave you a polite smile and offered the menu to you, "would you like to drink or eat something?" Kaeya nudged you with his leg and you remembered what he told you. "I'd like to have a grape juice", you said, not noticing you were nervously tapping with your fingers on the counter. Order a grape juice, Kaeya had said, Diluc loves that stuff.

And just as promised, Diluc seemed delighted by your answer. "I'm glad to see someone else appreciate grape juice as I do", he smiled and your heart skipped a beat, "it's my favorite. We actually have high-quality grape juice for a reduced price on our menu right now. I'll make it for you right away." Diluc prepared your juice and Kaeya's eyes fell onto the notice board on the wall, more specifically an ad that Angel's Share was looking for part-timers and new staff. "Actually, y/n here was interested in helping out at the tavern!", Kaeya announced and you stared at him in shock.

"Oh? Well that is a surprise", Diluc remarked curiously. "Slow down Kaeya, I haven't even sent an application or anything", you hissed. "That won't be necessary", Diluc said, "we're already aquainted and I'm sure you'd make a good addition to the team. If you still want to work here, that is. Angel's Share has been getting more crowded recently and we could use the help, even if it's just for a while." You sighed. How could you turn down that offer. You gave Kaeya another angry glare while Diluc was busy taking an order from a customer.

"If you want to, I can show you around a bit today", Diluc offered and turned to you again, "you won't have to do anything yet, but I could explain the tasks our staff does here and show you the kitchen and the wine cellar." "Yes, sure, I'd love that", you replied, not sure what you had gotten yourself into. Diluc seemed very professional and you were sure that's all there was to this encounter.

Kaeya stayed at the bar and said goodbye to you for now with an enthusiastic thumbs up as you followed Diluc to the backrooms of the tavern. He introduced you to the few kitchen staff members and showed you how some of the food was made, even letting you try some samples for free. Mainly being a bar, Angel's Share didn't actually offer a lot of food but there were a few nicely prepared appetizers and soups on the menu.

The wine cellar was way bigger than you had imagined and there was a plate with a couple of fresh grapes standing on a small table by the door for the employees. Diluc gestured for you to take some before also taking some for himself.

Given that most of Angel Share's business was selling drinks and promoting the wine and juice of the Dawn Winery, there weren't actually that many staff-only rooms to visit. The last on your list was the utensil closet. It was a small, dark room and as soon as both of you had stepped in it you became nervous at how close you were to Diluc. Meanwhile Diluc just kept on explaining what things to use for what tasks. You were trying to pay attention to the words he said instead of how nice his voice sounded when the door fell shut behind you due to a gust of wind.

Hold on a minute....a gust of wind? You internally cursed the very likely scenario that Kaeya had dragged the tone-deaf bard into this whole ordeal. You could practically hear the knight's amused voice in your head, lecturing you that at least it wasn't a musical number. Diluc switched places with you to try and open the door again. It did not work. "I'm sorry, this one's been a bit rusty for a while now, I should have hired someone to do some necessary repairs on this door already", he sighed and seemed genuinely sorry for this awkward situation.

He was so close.... Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest and the silence wasn't making things better. "This isn't good...I hope we get out of here soon enough", Diluc mumbled, still fidgeting with the door. "I hope it's not because of me" you said before you could stop yourself. "Oh?", Diluc looked at you surprised, "no, don't worry, I just need to get back to work as the customers would get impatient and angry otherwise. That's not good for the business. Your...." He cleared his throat. "Your company is quite enjoyable usually", he admitted.

You had spent some time with Diluc before. For a while, he had been nothing but an aquaintance, maybe even a friend, to you. You had sometimes taken walks or eaten together at Good Hunter when you happened to meet in the city and talked about whatever came to mind. Diluc, despite hating idle chit-chat, turned out to be an excellent conversation partner and he grew to appreciate that your interactions were more than simple small-talk. Conversing with you was so much easier than with a lot of people that he found himself actually regretting that he may have made you think that he disliked your talks when he expressed his distaste for small-talk. Things had changed when one day you noticed how much you missed his company when you hadn't seen him in a while. How beautiful his smile was, even though he seemed to smile so rarely. How he always made sure you were okay and told you to get home safely. Before you knew it you had fallen head over heels in love with Diluc.

You didn't notice you were staring at his lips the whole time. Your gaze quickly returned to his eyes and his hand brushed against yours. "I haven't seen you around a lot lately, are you doing alright?", Diluc inquired, as caring about your well-being as ever. You nodded and the two of you went back to silence. "We....I suppose we could have dinner again sometime?", Diluc asked. "I would like that", you smiled at him. "I-", he seemed as though he wanted to say something but quickly stopped himself.

"Was there something you wanted to say?", you asked and Diluc put a hand in his neck. "Well....I guess it's just....I found myself missing your company quite a bit. I'm glad we have the opportunity to work together now." Oh yeah, the work thing. You almost forgot about that. But your heart was beating even faster when you learnt that Diluc had actually missed you. That he wanted to be around you.

You both looked at each other like you just wanted to close the distance and confirm you felt the same. But Diluc was so hesitant about letting someone in and he sometimes felt like he was far away from you even if you were in the same room. Even if the room was a tiny closet at Angel's Share. "Honestly, I was a little worried I had done or said something that made you distance yourself from me", he confessed. "No, no, nothing of the sort", you immediately confirmed, "there were just some things I had to sort out, don't worry about it."

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen", he offered and there was almost something pleading in his voice. Like he was hoping for a chance that you'd tell him you loved him. And you knew Diluc wouldn't judge you for the way you felt about him. Nor would he let it affect the friendship you had. "I guess I....", you hesitated and Diluc patiently waited for you to continue. "I've been....feeling some things that weren't there before", you said quietly, your voice was trembling a little. If Diluc was nervous, he sure didn't let any of it show. "What kind of feelings?", he just asked softly, trying to reassure you that there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him.

"I-", you wanted to tell him but there was so much fear inside you as well. Fear of being hurt by his rejection. Of not being able to find as much joy in seeing him as you did now. Fear of having to let him go. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, I won't pressure you", he gently took your hand in his and ran his thumb over your fingers, "just know I'm here for you if anything is troubling you."

You nodded and noticed Diluc was even closer now. There was a caring, loving gaze in his eyes but also a bit of sadness. As if something he longed for was so close and yet he just couldn't reach it. Your eyes wandered to his lips again in the hopes he would notice and understand. Diluc hadn't let go of your hand yet. "Y/n?", he asked quietly. "Yes?", you squeezed his hand a little. He paused for what felt like an eternity, unsure whether to take a step he couldn't take back.

"May I kiss you?", he whispered and you gently pulled him closer and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Diluc kissed back gently and cupped your cheek. He was so careful with you, as if he had waited ages to do this and was scared of losing it all now that he had finally bridged the distance between you. You deepened the kiss and buried your hands in his red hair, Diluc kissing back equally as passionate. You could feel the emotion he poured into the kiss. Like he never wanted to let you go. The fear of being alone again.

When you parted, as much as Diluc hated to admit it, he feared that you weren't as serious about this as he was. He had seen people take things like kissing somebody lightly, something fun they did because they felt like it, not intending to make it last. He didn't know anything about what these things meant to you. Maybe he was wrong about your feelings...

All his doubts were gone when you wrapped your arms tightly around him and hugged him. With your head rested against his chest you closed your eyes and sighed. "This was about time", you whispered and took his hand into your own, pressing a kiss to it. "It sure was", Diluc quietly chuckled and held you close. He kissed your forehead and buried his face in your neck so you wouldn't be able to see his flustered expression. "I'm yours now though", he whispered quietly and kissed you once again. "As am I", you confirmed and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face.

Diluc smiled at you gently. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have the kindest smile in all of Mondstadt?", you said quietly, lost in thought. "Now you did", he replied but you did notice his voice crack slightly, "thank you.....I appreciate it..." He reached for the door handle again and much to his surprise it opened fairly easy now.

Kaeya and Venti sat at the bar counter, giving you two innocent smiles before excusing themselves for the night and leaving the tavern. "Kaeya is a terrible wingman", you sighed and buried your face in your hands. Diluc chuckled. "As much as I hate to admit it, this time the outcome wasn't that bad. I should close up the tavern soon. It's getting late." You nodded as he gestured for you to wait at the counter. Sitting down on one of the stools you watched Diluc slowly bringing his work day to an end.

After the last customers had left he walked up to you and placed his hand upon your own. "Do you want me to take you home? Or would you like to join me at Dawn Winery for tonight? I.... don't really want to let go of you yet", he admitted, wondering if you could see how his cheeks were heating up. You pressed a kiss to his forehead and jumped down from the stool right into Dilucs arms. "I wouldn't mind that", you smiled at him and pulled him close again, looking forward to falling asleep with your head resting on his chest like this. "Diluc?" "What is it?", his voice sounded a little tired but so soft and caring. "I love you", you whispered and Diluc tightened his embrace around you. He kissed you once again. "I do too", he whispered back before your lips met his.

#genshin impact #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin impact x reader #diluc x you

295 notes · View notes

irl-simon-riley · 2 months

Text

Think I'll Make It That Long?

a repost of my ghostsoap fic from ao3 because i finally made a tumblr yayyy

!!!MDNI!!!

Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish tags: Major Character Death, Suicidal Ideation, fix-it (sort of), character death fix, heavy angst, Ghost is going through it, first person POV (Simon's), grieving

"Johnny!"

The only word I could get from my throat to my mouth as I crouched over him.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You can't die like this. Not like this.

I pressed my fingers to his neck, searching for a pulse.

Nothing.

It's just my gloves. My gloves are thick. Can't feel it through my damn gloves. He's still here. He's still here.

"Captain, the bomb!"

"How do we stop it?"

I can hardly hear Gaz and Price's shouts. This cannot be happening.

Price says something about a red wire. Says his name.

I rip off my glove. Press my fingers to Johnny's neck again.

Faint little pumps of blood beneath my fingertips. Blood that's gushing from the wound on the side of his head. That drips through his hair. His stupid fucking haircut.

I cradle his head his my free hand, palm to the wound. No exit.

Johnny's eyes are open. Pupils contracted in his baby blues.

"You're gonna be okay, Johnny," I breathe. I can't trust the volume of my voice. I only know its a whisper from the way it feels coming from my mouth.

He stares up at me. Those fucking eyes. Eyes that lit up when I told him I loved him.

Fuck. I should've said that more.

Stay with me, Johnny. C'mon you beautiful bastard. People have survived bullets to the head. So can he.

So focused on his eyes I didn't even notice his pulse was gone. Only noticing when his eyes lose that light.

I want to scream. I want to vomit. I want to kill Makarov over and over again.

I set him down. I set my Johnny down.

"Disarmed," A beat, "Disarmed. We're clear," Rasps Gaz.

I look up. Lock eyes with Price.

They both stare back at me.

My breath is so loud beneath my mask. It's hot under here. The tears in my eyes hotter.

The last thing he saw was me. It was me.

I tell myself this. I know its a lie. He died immediately. From that fucking gun. From that rat bastard Makarov.

I look back down at him. Price calls it in.

"Threat neutralized. Bomb is safe. One KIA."

We all stare out our fallen comrade. His eyes are still open.

My hands are shaking. One of my gloves stained with his blood. I use my clean, ungloved hand to close his eyes.

God, if you're real, please for the love of yourself... let those eyes open again. Let him look up at me. Let him say 'Just a scratch L.T. Really had ya worried there, didn' I?' Let him wake up.

Of course, they don't open. They'll never open again.

My Johnny is gone.

I take off my mask. I should've done it before he was-

I cradle his head head again, covering that damned wound. I lean down to press my lips to his forehead. He's still warm. I can pretend he's just asleep. That I'm kissing him goodnight - like I do every night.

"Night, Johnny." I love you.

---

Price had to hold me back when they zip his body up in that white bag. They wouldn't let me carry him. Wouldn't let me hold him. Wouldn't let me say goodbye for the thousandth time. I kept repeating it. Going back to him while we waited for mortuary affairs to come for him.

I managed to snatch the patch off of his vest. Reads "Soap".

The ride back to base is silent.

Normally, Johnny'd be cracking jokes with me and Gaz. Always shifting the tone after missions. Relieving our stress.

We sat in the common room for a good thirty minutes. Agonizing silence. The sound of breathing and clearing throats. The occasional sniffle.

I'd put my mask back on. Kept the glove on too. The one with his blood on it.

I couldn't stand the silence no more so I stood my sorry ass up and walked to my room on base. Shut the door. Lean against it.

I'm silent for a few moments. My eyes burning and my throat closing up.

I glance over at my bed. For a moment I swear I see him there. I blink and he's gone.

He's gone.

Before I know it I've punched the wall.

And I punch it again.

And again.

"God!" I shout through gritted teeth, ripping off my mask. I throw it at the wall and slam my fist against it again.

I take the glove off and the patch from my pocket. I hold them to my chest as I sink down to the floor.

"FUCK!" I slam my forehead down onto the tiled floor.

If he could see me now he'd say something along the lines of "Bleedin' Jesus. Doon' go crackin' yer head open on the damn floor, ya muppet. Come 'ere an' gimme a cuddle, will a, L.T?"

Now I'm stuck cuddling a damned glove and patch. All I have of him.

A soft knock at the door causes me to peel myself off of the ground. I kiss the patch and glove before placing them on my bed, covering them with the blanket.

I'll be right back, Johnny. Just gotta take care of this thing real quick, alright?

I open the door, met with the glorious beard of Captain John Price.

"Simon..." His voice rings out. Soft and fatherly. Something I'm not used to.

"He's gone." All I can manage before crumbling into Price's arms, "He's fuckin' gone."

He catches me. Arms wrapped around me like I'm a big fucking baby. His hands pet my hair like my mum would when I was young.

"I know. I know..." Price murmurs. I can tell he's holding back tears himself.

I sob for minutes. Inconsolable.

"It's all my fuckin' fault. I should've been there!" My fist clenches. I try to punch but all I manage is a weak brush of my knuckles against the doorway.

"It's nobody's fault but Makarov's. You know that."

"I should've been there! If I got there a second earlier-"

"Then it could've been more painful for him," Price cradles my head and presses his face into my hair, "It was instant. Felt no pain."

I hold onto Price harder. If I let go I'll truly fall apart. My clenched fist hits his chest just as weakly as it hit the doorframe.

My head comes to rest on Price's shoulder. My nose drips with snot. The corners of my mouth fill with saliva, no doubt dripping onto Price's shirt will each of my aching sobs.

"He could've lived," Words trembling, tumbling out of my mouth.

"And you could've died instead."

I sniffle. "I wish I did."

I let go of Price, wiping my face. I can't even look at the man.

"...I like you better alive."

---

Something so eerily similar to something I said to Johnny a few years back. After Graves had betrayed us, taken Alejandro hostage.

We were by ourselves. All alone. Separated. Only joined together by comms.

Johnny was injured. I was scared out of my mind. Scared for myself, of course. But scared for him too.

It was around that time I'd started falling for him. Around the time I started accepting it, at least.

I kept telling Soap jokes. Trying to calm our nerves. I know he needed it. I needed it too.

Making our way through a town crawling with Shadows.

He said something about the rain.

"Rain's good. It'll cover your tracks."

"Covers theirs too..."

"Let's worry about you, Johnny."

"So you do like me?"

The way he said it. Flirting with me, no doubt. The bastard.

"I like you alive..." The closest I could get to saying those three fucking words at that time. Words I didn't say enough.

---

I glance up at Price.

"I'm fine, old man," I say, lying through my teeth.

"I know you're not, Simon. None of us are."

"Yeah? Then why'd you all just stand there like bloody idiots! Why didn't you let Soap kill Makarov four fuckin' years ago!"

I'm seething. Practically growling like a dog.

"If it weren't for you... Johnny'd be here. He'd be home," My voice cracks, "He'd be with me..."

I turn my head back away, hiding my face in my arm. Pretend its the crook of Johnny's neck. Take a deep breath.

"I know, Simon. I should've... I shouldn't've stopped him," He puts his hand on my shoulder, how I imagine a father would act, "That'll be the biggest regret of my life. Know that."

He squeezes my shoulder before he drops his hand and walks away. His boots down the hallway.

And I am utterly alone again.

---

I can't sleep.

Don't think I'll ever get good sleep again. Not with him gone.

I've got the damned glove and patch cradled in my hands again. Something to hold onto. It's not warm like him. Not soft. Doesn't smell good. Smells like rust and gunpowder.

Laying alone in my bed. I almost can't believe I used to do this every night.

Thirty more minutes of tossing and turning before I haul my ass out of bed. I walk myself to the door and open it. Glove and patch still in hand. I walk down the empty hallway. God knows what time it is - if the bastard exists.

The cold tile under my bare feet centers me in reality. In the real world. Not fantasy. Not the world I'm building in my head. Where Soap'll catch me up after curfew... scold me... guide me back to bed and hold me.

The tile reminds me of where Johnny is right now. A morgue. His body in a freezer. Cold. Ice fucking cold.

I stop in my tracks to hold back the sob that's creeping up my throat. Squeeze the glove and patch tighter.

I glance up at the ceiling and sigh. Cold air drifts into my lungs. Filling them.

I want to hold my breath until it's gone. Morbid thought, I know.

I've had those thoughts a lot. Johnny didn't like that. Didn't like what my head told me to do to myself. He'd kiss every one of those thoughts away. I thought he'd chased them off for good. Guess my ward of protection went with him.

A shaky exhale as I turn back towards my room.

I catch a name on the wall.

'Sgt. John "Soap" MacTavish'

Fucking 'course.

A sound escapes from my throat. Half chuckle, half sob.

Of course I'm in front of his room.

I step towards it. Reach out my hand to trance my finger along the engraving on the shiny metal nameplate.

"I always end up findin' my way back to you, don' I?" I whisper.

I grab my handle and turn the knob. Unlocked - like always. I step into the room and shut the door behind me.

Flick on the light. His bed's unmade. 'Why make it when I'll just get in it and ruin it again?' He always said. It's like it's waiting for him to come home.

"He's not comin' home," I say to the bed, like it's a fuckin' dog or something. Either way it doesn't understand.

I climb into it and I'm instantly hit with the smell of him. I hug the pillow, tucking the glove and patch beneath it. I pull the blanket over me and the pillow, tucking it in.

"G'night, Johnny. I love you. Get some rest."

---

A week later we spread his ashes. Sunrise in the beautiful Scottish Highlands.

Johnny always said he'd take me here. Never thought it would be to say goodbye.

Price, Gaz, and I sit in the car on the way back. Silence. Just like on the way there.

I haven't spoken more than a few words to anybody but myself in the past week. I intend to keep it that way.

Not all of Johnny blew away in the wind, though.

I stole a bit of him when transferring his ashes into the urn. Good on Price for letting me do that.

Underneath my jacket, on a chain lies one of his dog tags and a little, silver charm. Rests directly above my heart.

Right where he belongs.

---

AN: while re-reading this i started crying. don't know if that's good or bad because i was blubbering when i wrote the damn thing (right after mwiii (reboot) came out). anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed!! or cried!! whichever works

#tw death #tw suicidal ideation #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghost x soap #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty fanfic

6 notes · View notes

istumpysk · 2 years

Text

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

AFFC: The Captain of Guards (Areo I) [Chapter 2]

"The blood oranges are well past ripe," the prince observed in a weary voice, when the captain rolled him onto the terrace.

After that he did not speak again for hours.

It was true about the oranges. A few had fallen to burst open on the pale pink marble. The sharp sweet smell of them filled Hotah's nostrils each time he took a breath.

Oh god, not fruit symbolism again.

+.+.+

For a long while the only sounds were the children splashing in the pools and fountains, and once a soft plop as another orange dropped onto the terrace to burst.

I hate it.

+.+.+

Obara Sand always walked too fast. She is chasing after something she can never catch, the prince had told his daughter once, in the captain's hearing.

Like Darkstar?

+.+.+

She had left her spear outside. For that, Areo Hotah gave thanks. Quick and strong as she was, the woman was no match for him, he knew . . . but she did not, and he had no wish to see her blood upon the pale pink marble.

Okay. . .

. . .

+.+.+

Death had come to Dorne on raven wings, writ small and sealed with a blob of hard red wax. Caleotte must have sensed what was in that letter, for he'd given it Hotah to deliver. The prince thanked him, but for the longest time he would not break the seal. All afternoon he'd sat with the parchment in his lap, watching the children at their play. He watched until the sun went down and the evening air grew cool enough to drive them inside; then he watched the starlight on the water. It was moonrise before he sent Hotah to fetch a candle, so he might read his letter beneath the orange trees in the dark of night.

+.+.+

Silence is a prince's friend, the captain had heard him tell his daughter once. Words are like arrows, Arianne. Once loosed, you cannot call them back.

Look, it's Dornish Ned!

+.+.+

"You would have me go to war."

"I know better. You need not even leave your chair. Let me avenge my father. You have a host in the Prince's Pass. Lord Yronwood has another in the Boneway. Grant me the one and Nym the other. Let her ride the kingsroad, whilst I turn the marcher lords out of their castles and hook round to march on Oldtown."

"And how could you hope to hold Oldtown?"

"It will be enough to sack it. The wealth of Hightower—"

"Is it gold you want?"

"It is blood I want."

I don't remember Leyton Hightower or any Oldtown commoner killing Oberyn Martell.

Please go talk to a friend or family member about your pain.

+.+.+

Grant me the one and Nym the other. Let her ride the kingsroad, whilst I turn the marcher lords out of their castles and hook round to march on Oldtown

For the record, Lady Nym will end up riding the kingsroad.

And I believe Obara is in the mountains near Oldtown.

+.+.+

"Lord Tywin shall deliver us the Mountain's head."

"And who will deliver us Lord Tywin's head? The Mountain has always been his pet."

The prince gestured toward the pools. "Obara, look at the children, if it please you."

"It does not please me. I'd get more pleasure from driving my spear into Lord Tywin's belly. I'll make him sing 'The Rains of Castamere' as I pull his bowels out and look for gold."

"Look," the prince repeated. "I command you."

"Aye," the prince said. "I told the story to Ser Balon, but not all of it. As the children splashed in the pools, Daenerys [daughter of Aegon IV Targaryen] watched from amongst the orange trees, and a realization came to her. She could not tell the highborn from the low. Naked, they were only children. All innocent, all vulnerable, all deserving of long life, love, protection. 'There is your realm,' she told her son and heir, 'remember them, in everything you do.' My own mother said those same words to me when I was old enough to leave the pools. It is an easy thing for a prince to call the spears, but in the end the children pay the price. For their sake, the wise prince will wage no war without good cause, nor any war he cannot hope to win. - The Watcher, ADWD

+.+.+

"I did not come to you for comfort." Her voice was full of scorn. "The day my father came to claim me, my mother did not wish for me to go. 'She is a girl,' she said, 'and I do not think that she is yours. I had a thousand other men.' He tossed his spear at my feet and gave my mother the back of his hand across the face, so she began to weep. 'Girl or boy, we fight our battles,' he said, 'but the gods let us choose our weapons.' He pointed to the spear, then to my mother's tears, and I picked up the spear. 'I told you she was mine,' my father said, and took me. My mother drank herself to death within the year. They say that she was weeping as she died." Obara edged closer to the prince in his chair. "Let me use the spear; I ask no more."

That's not a very happy story.

+.+.+

"If you return to Sunspear, you will need to give audience to Princess Myrcella," Caleotte said. "Her white knight will be with her . . . and you know he sends letters to his queen."

[...]

Hotah had felt a certain sadness whenever he saw the man in the long snowy cloak, the times the prince had sent him down to Sunspear. One day, he sensed, the two of them would fight; on that day Oakheart would die, with the captain's longaxe crashing through his skull. He slid his hand along the smooth ashen shaft of his axe and wondered if that day was drawing nigh.

✨ foreshadowing ✨

(Not ideal he was also assessing Obara.)

+.+.+

"I was the oldest," the prince said, "and yet I am the last. After Mors and Olyvar died in their cradles, I gave up hope of brothers. I was nine when Elia came, a squire in service at Salt Shore. When the raven arrived with word that my mother had been brought to bed a month too soon, I was old enough to understand that meant the child would not live. Even when Lord Gargalen told me that I had a sister, I assured him that she must shortly die. Yet she lived, by the Mother's mercy. And a year later Oberyn arrived, squalling and kicking. I was a man grown when they were playing in these pools. Yet here I sit, and they are gone."

[...]

He was still groping for some words to say when another orange fell with a heavy splat, no more than a foot from where the prince was seated. Doran winced at the sound, as if somehow it had hurt him.

+.+.+

A serving man brought him a bowl of purple olives, with flatbread, cheese, and chickpea paste. He ate a bit of it, and drank a cup of the sweet, heavy strongwine that he loved. When it was empty, he filled it once again.

It seems the maesters don't know what increases the risk of a gout flare up.

+.+.+

I should have gathered up the oranges that fell, he thought, and went to sleep dreaming of the tart sweet taste of them, and the sticky feel of the red juice on his fingers.

No, stop!

+.+.+

"The gout I cannot help," she [Nymeria Sand] said, "but my father had no use for grief. Vengeance was more to his taste. Is it true that Gregor Clegane admitted slaying Elia and her children?"

"He roared out his guilt for all the court to hear," the prince admitted. "Lord Tywin has promised us his head."

"And a Lannister always pays his debts," said Lady Nym, "yet it seems to me that Lord Tywin means to pay us with our own coin. I had a bird from our sweet Ser Daemon, who swears my father tickled that monster more than once as they fought. If so, Ser Gregor is as good as dead, and no thanks to Tywin Lannister."

What do you mean nobody is buying Tywin Lannister's bullshit? That can't be!

+.+.+

"You know the Fowler words? Let Me Soar! That is all I ask of you. Let me soar, Uncle. I need no mighty host, only one sweet sister."

"Obara?"

"Tyene. Obara is too loud. Tyene is so sweet and gentle that no man will suspect her. Obara would make Oldtown our father's funeral pyre, but I am not so greedy. Four lives will suffice for me. Lord Tywin's golden twins, as payment for Elia's children. The old lion, for Elia herself. And last of all the little king, for my father."

"The boy has never wronged us."

"The boy is a bastard born of treason, incest, and adultery, if Lord Stannis can be believed."

[...]

"Only royal blood can wash out my father's murder."

Tsk, tsk. Maybe let's leave the 8-year-old boy out of it.

When a character speaks of killing children, I immediately start their death countdown timer in my head.

+.+.+

The shadows of the afternoon were long and dark and the sun was as red and swollen as the prince's joints before they glimpsed the towers of Sunspear to the east. First the slender Spear Tower, a hundred-and-a-half feet tall and crowned with a spear of gilded steel that added another thirty feet to its height; then the mighty Tower of the Sun, with its dome of gold and leaded glass; last the dun-colored Sandship, looking like some monstrous dromond that had washed ashore and turned to stone.

Is he doing penis and scrotum jokes again?

Have you ever noticed George R. R. Martin is 10?

+.+.+

Where the Sand Snakes were tall, Arianne took after her mother, who stood but five foot two.

Short queens unite!

+.+.+

There were two seats on the dais, near twin to one another, save that one had the Martell spear inlaid in gold upon its back, whilst the other bore the blazing Rhoynish sun that had flown from the masts of Nymeria's ships when first they came to Dorne.

It's always ships. Only ships. If you never read anything other than the main series, you would only associate Nymeria with ships.

+.+.+

Lady Tyene's voice was gentle, and she looked as sweet as summer strawberries. Her mother had been a septa, and Tyene had an air of almost otherworldy innocence about her.

Beware of the preacher's daughter.

+.+.+

"When I finish, it is yours, to help you remember him."

"I am not like to forget your father."

"That is good to know. Many have wondered."

Come on, unnecessary.

+.+.+

Prince Doran sighed. "Obara cries to me for war. Nym will be content with murder. And you?"

"War," said Tyene, "though not my sister's war. Dornishmen fight best at home, so I say let us hone our spears and wait. When the Lannisters and the Tyrells come down on us, we shall bleed them in the passes and bury them beneath the blowing sands, as we have a hundred times before."

I can get down with that.

+.+.+

"If they should come down on us."

"Oh, but they must, or see the realm riven once more, as it was before we wed the dragons. Father told me so. He said we had the Imp to thank, for sending us Princess Myrcella. She is so pretty, don't you think? I wish that I had curls like hers. She was made to be a queen, just like her mother." Dimples bloomed in Tyene's cheeks.

Wait, no. Wrong turn. Don't drag the kid into your war.

+.+.+

"I would be honored to arrange the wedding, and to see to the making of the crowns as well. Trystane and Myrcella are so innocent, I thought perhaps white gold . . . with emeralds, to match Myrcella's eyes. Oh, diamonds and pearls would serve as well, so long as the children are wed and crowned. Then we need only hail Myrcella as the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, and lawful heir to the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, and wait for the lions to come."

Dot, dot, dot. With emeralds.

That feels ominous?

I'd have to go back to confirm, but I remember emeralds never having a positive association in AGOT.

+.+.+

His tone was grudging. "Let me think on it."

Tyene grew cross. "You think too much, Uncle."

"Do I?"

"Father said so."

"Oberyn thought too little."

Haa, he's not wrong.

+.+.+

"There is a difference between fear and caution."

"Oh, I must pray that I never see you frightened, Uncle. You might forget to breathe." She raised a hand . . .

The captain brought the butt of his longaxe down upon the marble with a thump. "My lady, you presume. Step from the dais, if it please you."

"I meant no harm, Captain. I love my uncle, as I know he loved my father." Tyene went to one knee before the prince. "I have said all I came to say, Uncle. Forgive me if I gave offense; my heart is broken all to pieces. Do I still have your love?"

"Always."

"Give me your blessing, then, and I shall go."

Doran hesitated half a heartbeat before placing his hand on his niece's head. "Be brave, child."

"Oh, how not? I am his daughter."

No sooner had she taken her leave than Maester Caleotte hurried to the dais. "My prince, she did not . . . here, let me see your hand." He examined the palm first, then gently turned it upside down to sniff at the back of the prince's fingers. "No, good. That is good. There are no scratches, so . . ."

Maester Caleotte and Areo Hotah are intelligent men, who are good at their jobs. This is a startling reaction from both of them.

Even worse, Doran's brief hesitation.

+.+.+

"You will find my brother's daughters, take them into custody, and confine them in the cells atop the Spear Tower."

"The Sand Snakes?" The captain's throat was dry. "All . . . all eight, my prince? The little ones, also?"

The prince considered. "Ellaria's girls are too young to be a danger, but there are those who might seek to use them against me. It would be best to keep them safe in hand. Yes, the little ones as well . . . but first secure Tyene, Nymeria, and Obara."

Didn't need to think too long about that one, lol.

+.+.+

"All Dorne will howl," said Doran Martell in a tired voice. "I only pray Lord Tywin hears them in King's Landing, so he might know what a loyal friend he has in Sunspear."

Sneaky, sneaky.

Final thoughts:

I love Doran Martell. Such a gem.

-> return to menu <-

#operation stumpy re-read #affc #the captain of guards #areo i

61 notes · View notes

coolstorysister · 2 months

Text

lyrics starters 24

If you wanna do something impactful, then you gotta be willing to sacrifice.

It ain't never gonna happen.

Kill or be killed.

I need to meditate.

I ain't got no room to grow.

I don't hesitate.

Just get it done.

Let me demonstrate.

Let it soak in.

Let it resonate.

Every step I've ever taken in the wrong direction helped me get to where I am today.

Life will test you.

Let's get right to it.

You're either with me or against me.

I can feel it.

Life is precious.

Life is filled with dead end roads.

Keep on pushing.

Go on, keep on praying. God ain't listening to ya.

I feel like I'm at a standstill.

I've got qualities that I'm not proud of.

I've made promises that I walked out on.

I've had days I feel I don't deserve love.

Think what you think.

Don't call me a mistake.

Sometimes I think I might be a lost cause.

You'd think I'm mental.

I'll stand on my own two feet.

I don't live like that.

I feel trapped.

I might lash out.

I gotta watch my back.

Why wait?

Too late.

Never heard it.

My way or the highway.

No chance.

I am what they wanna be.

You might've read about.

You either got it or you don't got it.

I'm the captain.

I'm the lead role.

I'm the future.

Man, stop!

We ain't doing nothing!

That's the way I like it.

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

That's a problem I ain't ever gotta worry about.

To each his own.

For me, that's a little wild.

I don't need nobody showing me the ropes.

I don't need you.

I don't need my name coming out your mouth!

I don't need you using me to get respect.

Worry about yourself.

I don't need your help.

What's your name?

Doesn't ring a bell.

I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

You ever need me for any reason, let me know.

I got your back.

I would die and kill for you.

Don't question that.

You know it's true.

I'm proud of you.

I can't believe it...

It still fascinates me.

Life is flying by.

It's only right that I return the favor.

You changed my life.

I would take a bullet, give my life in a second, if it came down to it.

I swear I'd do it.

I got you.

That's not a flaw, that's perfection.

I can't imagine how you feel.

It's mind blowing.

The selflessness you show me on a day to day basis is humbling.

Always saw my glass as half empty.

I was irresponsible.

I had no clue who I was.

Gave it all we had, but guess our all wasn't enough.

Sometimes I think of you, and it makes me sad.

It was for the best.

I pray someday you find yourself.

Don't wait.

It's too late to keep holding on.

I'm already gone.

The truth is we just weren't right.

I'm happy for you, I am.

Don't get me wrong.

I think about you, too.

If I did it, then I did it right.

You're gonna pay the price.

I ain't playing nice.

That's a part of life.

That just won't suffice.

The boy is clever.

Stop complaining!

My head hurts.

That's a piece of me that I won't let go.

I already know.

It's just another day.

Life is a gift.

My days in this game are numbered.

It was worth it.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that life is uncertain.

We're all hypocrites.

Hear me out.

I know it's been a couple years since I've reached out.

I know I've been selfish.

I feel more comfortable living in my agony.

The truth is, I need help.

I just can't imagine who I'd be if I was happy.

It feels like something's off.

I got some issues that I won't address.

I got some baggae I ain't opened yet.

I got some demons I should put to rest.

I got some traumas that I can't forget.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul and the last to admit I need a hand to hold.

everybody needs someone

0 notes

trashiewrites · 3 years

Text

Symphony

(Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader)

(I'm B A CK AND WITH A FIC TO SHOW MY RETURN!! I have a job as well as college so writing these haven't been my priority! but I'm glad to be back)

Life has always been simple, wake up, train, eat, work, sleep. That was the just of it. Working with the 141 I've surely seen my fair share of atrocities. I've done so much but there is just something missing. I stared out the window, the sky shined the dark blue littered with shiny white stars.

I tilted my head, taking note of my slight reflection in the glass. "I look so tired..." my brown eyes seemed unamused by it all, the day-by-day routine I've been living in for god knows how long. Either way, no use dreading on it I suppose.

I held my mask in my hands. The marks and scratches that were lightly scattered in the fabric told stories. "We've been through so much, haven't we, old friend?" I glanced at the time, '11:30' "I should sleep... big day, as usual." I gently folded up my mask, placing it at my bedside. Turning off the lamp and lay down on the bed. Letting sleep overtake my senses. ____________________

"Alright! Fall in and settle down." Captain Price spoke loudly over the crowd. From what I hear they have some news, perhaps a new op briefing announcement? I look around someone seems to be missing.

"I wonder where MacTavish is..." I whispered it under my breath. 'Must be doing his own thing I suppose.'

"You've got something to say Ghost?" I stiffen slightly, caught by surprise by the captain's callout.

"I'm just curious on where MacTavish is Captain."

"Well, I'm right here Ghost! Ya miss me or something lad?" The platoon slightly chuckled, quickly silenced by Prices piercing gaze. "Anyways, 141 I have someone I'd like to introduce." Next to MacTavish was a woman who stood there proudly. Yet if you knew where to look, you'd be able to tell she was nervous.

"I'm (Y/N) (L/N)! My specialties are Infiltration and Computer science!" MacTavish wrapped an arm around her shoulder and smiled at all of us.

"To put it, we have our own resident Hacker!" MacTavish took a step forward. "Besides that, we are having a briefing tomorrow in the morning. So training will be moved to the afternoon. Any questions?"

"No Sir!" We all yelled in unison.

"Good, Fall out!" As I was about to turn and head out a hand grabbed my shoulder. "You ain't free yet Ghost. I have to talk to you."

"Is this a personal matter sir?"

"I'd say 50/50 on both categories." Captain smiled as he opened the doors to the captain's offices.

"John! You jerk! You just had to but me on the spot like that!" From inside the room, I could hear the newbie.

"Hey hey! Relax, I have a guest! Yell at me later (y/n)." I walk in from right behind and well her expression quickly changed.

"Why didn't you say that sooner..." she looked away from me, crossing her arms.

"Cause you were busy yelling." I held back a small chuckle, yet in that girl's eyes, I see the urge of wanting to punch him in the face. I'd have to admit, for being new she getting really close to the captain. "Anyways, (y/n) this is your lieutenant, Ghost. He will be training and getting you up to speed."

"What? Why?"

"Ghost, me and Price are busy with work, and I trust you to get my cousin up to speed."

"Cousin?" Well, bo wonder they are so comfy with each other, they're related... "makes sense, bit captain. I mean no disrespect sir but I really don't have time to balance this all out."

"Uh.. lieutenant?" I looked back to see her, hand extended. "I'm really excited to work with you in training. I understand if you are too busy, surely I can catch up by learning from the others!" Her smile... it's adorable... 'cut the shit, Simon.' I sighed, I'll just admit defeat this time. I honestly feel as I can't say no, then again, something is telling me I shouldn't.

I sighed, "fine, I'll train her..."

"I knew you'd come around to it!" MacTavish smiles, him heading to the door. "Now you two have a lot to do! I suggest getting to know each other a bit first!" It's what I'd describe as being informally kicked out of his office. As we stood outside the door silence filled the air.

"I'm really sorry... John has always been a bit of jerk sometimes." I turned over to see her looking embarrassed, frustrated even.

"No need to stress about him kid, I know what he's like. I've been working with him for years." I took her shoulder into my hand gently turning her to face me, "Above all else, he is an accomplished leader. Now, we have a lot to do kid."

"R-right!" I'm not sure what was running through my head but I grabbed her hand. Once I realized I quickly let go.

"Uh sorry... that was improper of me." I need to silently beat myself up for this later. 'God! What is wrong with me today...'

"Ahh, no it was fine lieutenant! No worries! No harm is done"

"R-right, let's go." I continued, pulling my mask up. Hopefully, my face is covered so no one can see this mess.

_____________________

I looked from across the track, watching as the timer ticked each second. It's been a few months and she's grown a lot stronger, and much more confident. She's been pushing herself hard to beat her kilo run time, maybe too hard.

I care for her, I really do. More than I do for even my job, which is a lot. I've been noticing it a lot recently. It's a feeling that honestly scares me. Yet it's not like I can ignore it...

The tiny little details, the bounce of her (h/c) hair, the (e/c) eyes filled with a fierce spark. That welcoming smile and even the way she talks. "Done!" Instinctively I pressed stop on the timer and there she was, wiping beads of sweat off her forehead. "How did I do lieutenant?"

"8:45, good job (y/n)."

"Yes! I beat my personal record!" she wrapped he arms around my waist, resting her head upon my chest. "Thank you, lieutenant, I couldn't have done it without you."

"What are you talking about kid... You did this all yourself." She backed off ever so suddenly, seeming surprised over what I said.

"No, really! You encourage me to be better!" She smiles, grabbing me by the hand, "you are honestly the best lieutenant. I couldn't ask for anyone else to train me."

"I-I'm... glad you feel that way." I didn't really know what to say afterward. my heart was beating fast and blood rushed to my cheeks. I honestly felt like I was gonna say something stupid. "Uhh... I believe that good training for today. How bout you head back and rest."

She groaned, stretching her arms over her head. "I suppose so, I did really push myself. I shouldn't overwork myself. I'll see you around Simon!" As she walked off, I headed into the field. I sat down taking a gander at the sky. I took a deep breath; my chest was heavy, my heart was racing. Yet, the sky seemed to look a little brighter, and the cool breeze kissed the exposed parts of my face. Hopelessly, my mind drifted into memories of the past few months.

"Ghost! Lieutenant!" (y/n) rushed over to the masked man.

"Woah! Settle down there, is there something you need?" A chuckle escaped him, holding her still by the shoulders.

"I was hoping we can do range practice today, sir! I've been training hard, and I want your input!" Her face filled with a sense of pride mixed with determination. He loved that part about you; failure isn't a word.

'It's not a failure to me, sir! Just a slight setback; that's all!'

The memories brought warmth to me... Maybe I should admit it to myself; I'm in love. Love, that's something I haven't felt in so long. "Maybe that's why it feels so sweet..." I spoke to myself. In the distance, I hear the slight crinkle in the grass. Behind me, she came "(y/n)!" 'Shit! I sounded too excited!' "I thought you were gonna rest?"

" I was going too, but I realized I wasn't that tired." she smiled brightly as she stood next to me. "So I decided I was going to ask to hang out with you; not for training though... mind if I sit?"

"no, not at all. Help yourself to the comfy dirt." She laughed as she sat down; I made her laugh! God, I forget just how childish love can make you. Yet, it's the best I've felt in a while.

"You know Lieutenant; you'll never believe what happened as I was looking for ya!" She went on to talk about something funny happening to Roach that she was able to witness. While she was telling it, she could barely hold in her laughter. Due to that, I couldn't help but laugh. She froze in place, slowly looking at me.

" You okay (y/n)?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I-I just have never heard you laugh like that before." I turned my head away from her. "I wanna hear it more... like that." I close my eyes and raise one hand to lift up my mask. We both sit in a moment of silence. My head was on the edge of its sanity trying to keep it from overheating.

Despite that, words just flew out of my mouth. "(Y/n)... How do you know when you're in love?" My voice, those words, flew gracefully in the wind. In return, I hear an audible hum from her.

"That's a rather odd question coming from you lieutenant." I glance over to see her fiddling with her fingers, "Maybe this is just me, but, I guess when you are in love you kinda just want to spend every moment with or thinking of that person." She lifts to hug her knees, hiding a bit of her face as she continues, "I personally get scared to ever be around that person... I really shouldn't be..." she clears her throat and I take her words into thought. "But do you like someone lieutenant? That must be why you're asking!"

"Well... Wait, why do you sound so surprised by that?!"

"Well to be fair Simon, you don't seem like the time to have time for that sort of thing." She leaned back resting her arms behind her, "You have a lot on your plate, you know, with work and all. You just, well I- I mean anyone would have thought you really never had the time to think about that." Her tone of voice grew quiet.

"Well... I am never one to beat around doing the bush." I stood up from where I was seated and extended my arm to help her up. "Why don't you stand for a minute dear." She placed her hand in mine, staring at me cluelessly. I took a deep breath, taking a moment in time to do some last-minute pondering. With my other hand, I lift my mask off my face, I feel my cheeks begin to burn as she audibly gasps. I closed my eyes, letting my heart sink into every word, "(Y/n), when I'm around you the sky seems brighter and my heart skips a beat. It's been a long, long time since I've felt like this. I never thought id feel this way again. I love you, you make my once simple song sound like a symphony." Coming back to my senses, I was holding her hand tightly. I stared at the ground waiting for a response.

"Simon, look at me." She whispered, she placed her hand on my cheek. I look at her to see a wide smile and her eyes on the brink of tears. "I love you too, I'm so glad you feel the same way..." a wave of relief washed over me, a rush of euphoria alongside it.

"Yes! Yes yes yes yes!!" I grabbed her by her waist and lift her in the air, twirling around. She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I was so scared to even say it..." placing her feet back safely on the ground.

"So was I, I'd never thought you'd like someone like me." She hugged my chest tightly. I placed my hand upon her head, while the other began to slide my mask back on. I was caught by surprise when (y/n)'s handheld my mask hand from going down. "You think you're going to put on that mask before a kiss?" She pulled my arm down bringing my face inches from hers.

"You like it direct?" I chuckled, "I don't mind that~" our first kiss was sweet and sincere, soft yet loving. Even if it was just a few seconds, I felt as if I could stay like this forever. As we parted, I stared deeply into her (e/c) eyes. She took my mask and finished putting it over my face, letting her hands linger on my cheeks.

"We should probably head back to our bunks." She walked a step ahead and I followed behind.

"The nights still young! What's your rush dove?" She laughed turning herself around to face me. She extended her arm and laid a finger on my lips.

"Cause we have work tomorrow, Lieutenant Riley." I shook my head, smiling under my mask. I went to her wrapping my arm around her.

"Alright then, let's get you to bed. You need your beauty sleep."

"Hey!" she laughed as we continued on walking as the sun slowly disappeared behind us.

#simon ghost riley #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #MW2 #mw2019 #x reader #fan fic #simon riley

194 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Gimme Love, 3/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia

2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the

back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed

issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

So, why was Blair the second reason as to why I dragged myself to school? Her smile. That was enough. As much as I tried to avoid her, the world decided to do a big "fuck you" on me and sometimes put us into situations together. And every time, I'd be internally freaking out. The worst was when we were both 16. It was that time of the year when the school would invite someone to subject us to the most humiliating moment of our lives. How the fuck were you supposed to put a condom on a banana without bursting out laughing? How the fuck were you supposed to sit there and keep a straight face when the educator used words like 'flaps'? We filed into the class, Jujubee and me taking seats at the back of the room. We knew this was going to be hilarious, so best to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Juju, I know you are dying to make jokes during this, but I'm begging you. Please don't." I spoke quietly to her as other students filed in. "But you know I'm going to, right?" Jujubee smirked, putting her bag on the ground. "No. We wanna keep a low profile. If we laugh, we draw attention, and then we risk being singled out. You know? We'll be at the front of the class demonstrating whatever this bitch asks us." Obviously, I was referring to putting condoms on bananas and the like. Juju, however, raised a brow, "I wouldn't mind that, babe. Don't worry. We won't need to take our clothes off." I stared at her for a few seconds, unable to think of how to respond to that. Jujubee winked, and I forced myself to look away. "That's not what I meant." Blair strolled in with Denali and Rosé, already I could feel my stomach knotting. They went to sit together somewhere in the middle. "Ugh, nope. I don't think so, ladies." Ah, Miss Jaida Hall, if only I could have warned you not to say what you were about to say. Somehow Blair and the two others knew she was speaking to them. She continued, "This is an important class, and I'm not gonna have you all laughing and snickering during it." She had a point. The three girls usually whispered to each other in class, giggling about all sorts of shit. It was never anything malicious about the lesson or teachers, just inside jokes with each other, pretty harmless stuff. But it pissed the teachers off so much. "You can't be serious, right?" Denali replied, clearly scandalised. "Very serious, actually." Ms Hall nodded, "Denali, sit with Brian. Rosé, with Gigi. Blair, with Brianna." I grabbed Jujubee by the wrist, the pressure making her squeak. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Blair was not rolling her eyes as she made her way to the back towards me. This was not fucking happening. As instructed, Jujubee stood up and let Blair sit down, moving to sit somewhere else. I was alone with the one person I tried my hardest to avoid. She slouched down in her chair, arms folded like she was already over it. I wanted so badly to ask if she was OK. But I couldn't bring myself to. And as the lights turned off and the sex-ed lady pressed play on the video player, I wished I had said something. As the way too enthusiastic narrator explained step by step the act of sexual intercourse, I tried hiding the blush on my face with my hair. I tried so hard to focus on what I was being taught. The truth was, I was still a virgin, as were many of the others in the room, I'm sure. But unlike them, I had no idea how sex worked. It wasn't something I ever gave time to think about. I felt a tapping on my hand. My body tensed as I glanced to the side. Blair was looking at the screen, then at me, then her fingers brushed against my hand. I stared back, unsure of what was happening but also knowing full well what she was doing. She leaned closer and pressed her lips on mine. … OK, that's not what happened. Life wasn't a movie. This was the beginning of the fantasies. Was I ashamed because I was thinking about Blair like that? Or was I ashamed that I enjoyed thinking of Blair like that? "This is ridiculous," Blair whispered. Was I supposed to say something back? "What do you mean?" I

whispered back. "Do they actually think we're that dumb? We all know how sex works. We don't need this stupid class." Blair rolled her eyes. I almost told her that I belonged to the small percentage that didn't know. But I stopped myself. I couldn't bear her knowing that information. Instead, I went with the awkward, "haha. Yeaaahhhh…" For the rest of the film, we sat in silence. Still trying to focus on the screen. Not the absolute stunner sitting next to me. And as if by magic, the video ended. I wanted to say I was relieved, but I couldn't lie; what I learned from the film left me nauseous. He puts his hoo-ha in her what, now?? "Well, that was really cool and hip, right?" The educator enthused. I cringed internally. No woman wearing a crucifix necklace and ankle-length skirt has the right to use words like 'cool' and 'hip'. "I know it's probably all so confusing. So that's why I'm here to answer any of your questions, dudes and dudettes." Already, one of the boys put a hand up. "Go ahead, homie." "What about the other hole?" He said with a straight face before his friends started laughing. He laughed back as he fired one of them. "You know. The back door?" Ms Hall shot him the 'look'. He was toast. The sex educator fixed her hair quite uncomfortable, "Well, there's a reason that is an out hole, young man. I warn all of you, do not go down that road. You will get aids and die. Now, does anybody else have a question?" The educator rambled, fixing her hair awkwardly. I heard the rustling of clothes beside me, and glancing around, Blair had her hand straight up in the air. "Yes, sweetheart?" Sex Ed lady pointed to her. "OK, so this is interesting and all, but I was just wondering, what about non-heterosexual sex?" Her brows knit for a moment. I looked around at her now. The breath caught in my throat. "I'm sorry?" Sex Ed lady asked. "You know. Man on man. Girl on girl. What about all of that?" Blair raised a brow. "I mean, you gotta know there's more than just heterosexual people out there. Maybe some even in this room right now." "Blair." Ms Hall began. "Because, if you disagree, then that's ridiculous. Oh, and if you think aids is some kind of death sentence, then you seriously need to educate yourself." Sex ed lady looked appalled, her Christian beliefs quite clearly threatened. "That's it. Get out." Ms Hall stood up. Blair huffed, pushing her seat back, lifted her bag and left the room, Ms Hall following behind. "OK. So, any other questions? Reasonable questions only, please." Jujubee was looking over her shoulder at me now, sharing the same expression I did. Thank God for lunch next period. Jujubee and I were hiding at the back of the school, in an alley between the building itself and the old workshops. The perfect hiding place for a smoke and to freak the fuck out about specific events. "Juju, she knows. She knows I'm a lesbian. She knows I like her." I paced. "I'm moving. That's it." I stopped. "But why would she speak up for me of all people? It doesn't make sense." My eyes widened. "Unless she's also a lesbian. I mean, that makes sense, right?" Jujubee had been sitting on the wall, patiently listening to my manic ramblings. The first few minutes, she was just as astounded. But the more I theorised, rambling on and on, she was over it. "I highly doubt that considering the boyfriend." "Then she must know. Why else would she say it? I highly doubt there are other gays in that class. Speaking of which, I had no idea lesbians could have sex like; how does that work. I'm gonna look into that somehow. But getting back to the point, if she did know, why would she speak out for me of all people?" My ramblings were non-stop. I tried my best to avoid Blair for the rest of the day, not that I could, considering we were both in the same last period. Blair's outburst was the talk of the school. I wasn't sure if it was a positive response or not. The only thing I did know was Trevor was pissed. "Brie, look." Jujubee tapped me. I turned from my locker and looked where everyone else seemed to be

looking. Just down the corridor, Trevor was standing over Blair, their conversation clearly heated. People were shamelessly moving closer, Jujubee following in their path. "Juju, don't," I whispered. But she didn't listen. I went after her as if it would stop her. "Trevor, this isn't that big of a deal," Blair said. "Not a big deal? Blair, do you know what the guys are saying? They think you're gonna dump me for a girl. Do you know how humiliating that is?" Trevor held a hand to his chest "And what if I did?" Blair challenged. The few people standing around cooed with excitement. "Oh, please. Don't get all cocky now that you have an audience." Trevor pointed. But Blair took a step closer to him. "What, 'cause you know you're the one who looks like an idiot? Maybe if you weren't so insecure, you'd know I would never do that to you." "Don't call me an idiot." Trevor lowered his tone, choosing purposely to ignore her reassurance. "Fine. But don't criticise me for a valid question I asked in a class you weren't even a part of. It's none of your business, no one's business for that matter." Blair bit back. "I can do what I want, Blair." "OK. Whatever." Blair brushed past him. Trevor quickly spun around, grabbing her arm. "No, we're not done having this conversation." My stomach twisted. "Let go of my arm, Trevor." Blair tugged, her voice cracking. Trevor did as was told now that the air was thick with tension, "We are not done talking," he stressed. Blair took a step back, "Yeah, we are, actually," and she turned to walk away. "If you walk away right now, we're finished." Trevor threatened. It was as if time was at a standstill, waiting for her reaction. But at the same time, it felt as though time was counting down. Like we were in a competition show. The contestant has to decide before time runs out, while the audience yells, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!' No one was shouting, but you could feel everyone's excitement. Blair's lip curled upwards. "OK. Fine by me." And, finally, she walked off. The people were cooing with excitement again. "Shut up!" Trevor shouted. I grabbed Jujubee by the shoulder and ushered her back. Trevor kicked his locker, the thud echoing through the halls. That was the last straw. Knowing Trevor, he'd take his anger out on us. It was time to flee the scene. It was all Jujubee wanted to talk about for the rest of the day. Now I knew how she felt during my smoke break. But I couldn't blame her. The scene played in my head over and over again, leading to so many questions. Was there more to this breakup? Did he grab Blair like that all the time? What would happen now? Would she find a new guy? A girl, maybe? I came to the conclusion that Blair and Trevor's breakup was neither good nor bad. Bad because, as I said before, now he had more pent up anger from the humiliation of being so publicly dumped. Therefore, Jujubee and I would most likely be subject to more harassment. Good, because maybe Blair did like girls. Maybe there was still some little chance for us to be together. But if we were going to be together, there was one issue; I still had no fucking idea how lesbian sex worked. Cut to later that night, I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts of the breakup. While the scratchy dial-up tones emitted the machine, I psyched myself up. Even though I knew sex was normal to learn about at that age, it was still daunting. With shaky hands, I searched 'lesbian sex'. And fuck was it a mistake. What I wanted was educational articles, guides, etc. And what I got was porn. I watched all but a few minutes, all the painfully bad acting scenes that took place before the main event. Upon hearing the first moan, I clicked out as fast as I could. Looking behind me, Piggie was just playing with a stuffed animal on my bed. "You saw that, right?" He looked at me with perked ears. I still felt judged, so I opened my bedroom door and let him out. I needed to be exact. 'How do lesbians have sex?' And Brianna Caldwell was never the

same. My mind was opened that night. This was no mistake. This was a surprise. I couldn't look away from the computer screen, no matter how slow the Internet connection was. All of this information was all too much but not enough at the same time. And it made me feel less nauseated than I felt after watching that stupid video in class. And I built up the courage to go back to that porn site. And I watched every damn second. Then I watched another one. And another. And just one more 'cause why the fuck not? My bedroom door opened. "Brianna, I'm ordering - -" "Get out," I shouted, closing the site down like my life depended on it. But she stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide and hand still on the door frame. "Honey, are you - -" "Mom, oh my god. Can you just - -" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. She gave an apologetic look and closed the door. But she remained on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ordering pizza for Grandpa and me. Do you want some?" My forehead was in my hand now. "Yes." "What kind?" "Just…" I wanted to shout, "Pepperoni." And with that, she left. But that wasn't the end of it. When the food arrived, I waited a few minutes before going downstairs to grab a few slices. Grandpa was in the living room watching an old rerun of The A-Team. But she was there, in the kitchen, as if she was waiting for me. "Honey, look. I know you're getting to that age where you're curious about certain things and - -" "Mom, no. Please, don't do this." I whined. "I know. I know. I just wanted to let you know that this is natural, and…" she continued to deliver the same talk we all got in class. My eyes were wide, face red with humiliation. -_-_-_- 2020 I picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza, instantly reminded of the traumatic event. OK, maybe that was too strong of a word to use. But of course, you are going to dread the thought of that time your parent talked to you about sex. I walked into the living room, pizza slice in hand, trying not to dwell on the memory. "So, Brianna. Any update on the love life?" Tamisha asked. I loved that bitch; being one of Mom's closest friends, she was present for most of my life. But she always had a tendency to ask questions I wasn't up for answering. I took a bite from my pizza and answered with a full mouth, "dry." "Girl, you're almost 40." She continued. I was ready to challenge her because I was actually just 33 when Mom took her turn to speak. "Yeah, get yourself a man and make me a Grandma already." She wasn't serious. She knew I hated these types of talks, but that didn't stop her from encouraging the others. The funny thing about the time she caught me watching porn, she never clocked it was girl on girl. Of all the years I've been on this planet, I hadn't given her a clue that I was a lesbian. Would I ever tell her? I didn't see the point. From previous failed relationships and being too busy with my job, I wouldn't end up with someone anyway. But of course, I'd make an exception for a certain someone. Monét poured the first round of shots. I already knew I'd hate myself the next day. I wasn't drunk already. Just sort of buzzed. But that changed within an hour. I was hammered. Mom, Monét and all her friends were singing all the old songs in the living room. I was out in the kitchen, trying to drink 8 glasses of water. I only managed 3. Piggie ran in and put his paws up on my knee. "There he is. My baby. My fucking son." I slid down to the ground and let him sit in my lap. "How is your night going?" Just great, Brianna! Anyway, how about that Blair girl, huh? Piggie's non-existent voice said. "Oh yeah," my eyes narrowed. I unlocked my phone and opened up Facebook. And I bravely searched up her name. I say bravely because it does take some balls to go and stalk your crushes social media accounts. All it took to fuck everything up was the slip of a finger, and before you know it, you've liked a post or sent a friend request. "Let's do some digging, Piggie." I cuddled him. Immediately, she was the top result, with Jujubee

being the only mutual friend. "Yeah, girl. Infiltration." I commented as I clicked into her profile. And then her profile picture. "Holy shit." She hadn't aged. She still looked as young and radiant as she did back in high school. "What do you think, Piggie?" I showed him the screen. He glanced at it before tucking his head under his arms. The enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes. I looked at her info. 'Single'. Promising. Scrolling down to her timeline, I noticed she didn't post a lot. Fair enough. Facebook was becoming a dead site in recent years. There were just your average Facebook posts, sharing giveaway posts, a post from an old lady saying, 'Blair, this is Granny. Could you go to Walmart and get me some applesauce? Love granny xx', a shared post from a guy called George Miller. And my finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Blair holding a baby. "Oh God, we've encountered our first obstacle, Piggie," I whined. I clicked into the comments. That George Miller guy commented, 'congrats, Blair!' She replied, 'thank you, but she's my cousin's lol'. "Thank you, Jesus." I put my phone down for a moment to put my hand up to the good lord. I scrolled some more, seeing many inspirational quotes, a link to Adore You by Harry Styles. And a picture of her. With that George Miller guy. With his arms around her. Pressing a kiss to her temple. I could feel my heart sink the more I studied it. Yeah, I knew Blair and I were never meant to be anyway. But it was still upsetting. Relax. They could be friends. Yeah, that's right. Friends hold each other and act all affectionate, right?? I cuddle with Jujubee sometimes. That doesn't mean anything. Right? I needed evidence, just anything, to make it not true. I scrolled some more. There was a video, she was sitting on her sofa, with a girl playing the guitar sitting on the other end. "I've been running races on empty, Pour it up 'cause my cup so empty. Gotta make time for the real me. I've been running, I've been running on empty." And my nerves were settled again. I had only heard Blair sing a few times. She and her friends would pretend they were famous singers in early elementary years, and she'd always be the best. Then another time was in high school, at the winter talent show. I specifically remember it being A moment like this by Kelly Clarkson. It was unreal. 'Jujubee 💋💅🏽 is typing…' I clicked into Snapchat before she even had a chance to type the whole message. "Do you remember Jujubee?" I asked Piggie. Again, he was silent. 'I hope you're having fun, babe ❤ lv u'. "Thanks," was all I could manage to type. A shadow cast over me. I looked up to see Monét join me on the ground. "Hey, girl." She greeted me. "Hi, Aunt Monét." I smiled. Piggie hopped off my lap and onto hers. "Aunt Monét? Honey, you haven't called me that since middle school." She smiled. I returned the smile, only mine probably looking goofy. "I'm just wasted." "I noticed. No more shots for you anyway." She noted, taking a drink from her own bottle. "Anyway, how's the project?" "We got fucking Ed Sheeran involved." I then cursed myself internally for bringing it up. "I heard. Your Mom was telling me. Ugh, girl, why him? Why not someone like…" she paused to think, "like Beyonce. Or Lady Gaga." "OK, man-hater." I quipped, reaching over to pet Piggie. "Not true. Not all men are bad." Monét pointed out. "Speaking of which, when are you getting yourself one?" I could have given her the usual 'I don't have time for men's talk. But the alcohol said no. "Monét, I like girls." And I felt no shame in saying it. A moment of silence fell between us before she asked, "for real?" "Yeah." I nodded. "Does anyone else know?" "Yeah. Juju. And Piggie probably." I replied, leaving one more name out for the sole purpose I didn't want to get into that. "And Mom?" "Nope." She nodded. "I guess this is one of these aunty-niece confidentiality things?" "Uh-huh." I smiled. Bless Aunt Monét. "Well, no matter who you live, we still love you." She laughed for a moment before taking another drink. I knew

she was right. Maybe coming out to Mom wasn't such a bad idea. "You know what, Brianna?" She paused, "Grandpa would be so proud of you, right?" My smile slowly began to drop. Fuck, the touchy subject. "Oh, I...thanks." I thought the change in my mood was hard to miss, but Monét clearly had. "You and I ain't ever talked about him since...you know." "OK," I said quietly, feeling like my chest was a fist, beginning to clench tighter and tighter. "And sometimes, it's just good to look back on - -" "I gotta go." I quickly stood up, feeling the dark fog already come over me. I rushed from the room, my aunty calling my name and apologising. I avoided going into the living room, rushing up the stairs and racing for the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, I let myself crumble, my face hidden beneath shaking hands, a cry clogged in my throat just begging to belt out. Mom would definitely hear it. I wasn't going to ruin her day. Absolutely not. Tags: rpdr fanfiction // s10 // as5 // miz cracker // jujubee // blair st clair // blair x cracker // denali foxx // rose // fluff // coming of age // hurt/comfort // lesbian au // highschool au // grinder // tw grief // tw homophobia [Cover image here] AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia [read more] 2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me

closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as

friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #blair x cracker #denali foxx #rosé #fluff #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #high school au #angst #gimme love #grinder #tw grief #tw homophobia

6 notes · View notes