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sugar-omi · 7 months

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I hate myself for thinking this but, what if MC finds out she’s pregnant and the first thing in her mind is that she’s fucking up Cove’s future. So instead of telling him she just breaks up with him and shuts herself away from him so he can’t convince her that they’ll work it out. Now Cove has no clue why the love of his life just broke his poor heart. Skip to five years later, Cove comes back to surprise visit his dad but surprise there’s MC, Cliff and a little five year old boy that looks way too much like Cove. Like I’m talking copy and paste that’s a little Cove

oh my fucking god.... i. pls i have some thoughts but also OUCH. BIG OUCH

mmm i'm not gonna make a full fic/detailed post... maybe later if we're all itching for some angst or i'm up for causing more heart ache n then i am very much open to expanding on this (already thinking abt cove getting to know his son.... omfg my heart HURTS)

but i wonder how MC "gets away" (for lack 'a better words) with not telling cove about the kid.

because i can tell you right now, cliff and kyra can't know about it and keep it a secret. not for 5 years at least.

so does she beg everyone in her family to keep it a secret? i think that's the best bet. moms would really prefer Not to keep it a secret, but they also can't force you to tell cove...

but i also don't see them letting 5 years without cove at least knowing, go by either... they'd try to keep the secret, but seeing cove's sad face would break them quickly, if not instantly.

also your friends!!! god, they can not keep a secrete to save their life, especially that big. so you can tell them, but expect the news to find its way back to cove in about.. mmm... 4 hours? so yeah....

anyway!!! lets say that your family kept the secret...

i think your son would eventually start asking about his dad. he sees how you and your family react to him, hears all the mumbling about how he looks so much like... "cove"? when you think he's in the other room.

and he sees how sometimes you look sad and how you slowly and tenderly run your fingers through his hair. and how sometimes you tell him "yknow, daddy has hair just like yours."

and when he asks why you're sad, if you respond with something along the lines of "you look just like your dad, thats all."

or even if you say that in response when he asks what his dad looks like (if you haven't shown him pictures), or if he overhears you saying he looks like this "cove" guy

you notice he starts looking at himself more often... maybe even asking, "does daddy have green hair like mine?" "are his eyes really blue, just like mine?" "does he wear glasses too?" and still in awe that he and this man he's never met, but already seems to adore him (as much as a toddler can adore someone they don't know), share the same features.

and if you show him pictures of cove, which i hope you do, but if you don't, don't worry because your son will probably realize "he has green hair like me!!!!" and he'd either run up to enthuse about it or run up to ask him if he's his daddy bc they have the same hair color... or just call him daddy n if anyone tries to argue about it, wdym?! they have the same hair color, what more do you need?!

so hopefully, cove is the only man with specifically seafoam green hair. otherwise, you're shitting yourself every time your son runs off to meet his green-haired-brethern

anyway. I think all your sons questions, and seeing pictures, knowing that he shares so many traits with cove, and seeing you miss him.

oh god, seeing you sad would make him insist so so much on seeing cove.

"if we meet daddy, will you be happy again?"

also can't believe I almost forgot.. your son being sad about not having a dad, and being jealous of other kids for spending time with their dad, etc.

he'd ask you questions about why he doesn't have a dad, n if he does. why isn't he around? and a real heartbreaker.. does daddy hate him? does he not love him? is that why he isn't here?

so I guess that means it's time to go back to sunset bird! and finally explain why you moved away n never looked back, and why you don't talk to anyone but your parents from back then...

now I won't get into everything right now (im a fuckin liar. I can feel a tangent coming on)

but I wanna talk abt how cove would feel, just a bit, and how I think your future with him would look...

I think at first, he'd be really shocked, seeing this carbon copy of his much younger self. the only thing telling him that his 4-5 year old self didn't jump out of one of his many childhood pictures,

is any birthmarks or beauty marks that maybe you have, or the boys hair being curlier than his, or his skin tone, or maybe he has your nose. whatever it is, he knows he's looking at the imperfect combination of you and him.

(cove's heart is beating outta his chest right now, n you're lucky he only stumbles instead of fainting, because this really is a shock... but that deeper part inside of him, that egotistical, primal almost, part of his heart swells up at the thought, the reality. that his son looks mostly, if not entirely like him.)

but after shock, he's sad. I think he'd be really sad, because he realizes that this is why you broke up right? and no matter how in control of your emotions you think you may be, your wide eyes show how afraid, nervous, and sad you are. he knows. he knows without even talking to you and it hurts

and after he gets past the anger and confusion stage, maybe even in between in fact- which would be more natural since, I think he'd feel this all at once but that's besides the point

he'd be really sad he missed all his sons milestones. walking, first words... God he probably dreams about it (when he does eventually fall asleep), and now his heart is tugging at the seams and the seams are RIPPING.

he also starts thinking about how hard it must've been doing it by yourself. and going through all that without him, your partner.

but maybe you didn't rely on him like he relied on you? maybe you didn't trust him like he did you, maybe you just... didn't need him. like he needed you.

you did break up afterall, and you never let him know about the kid until now, so maybe you thought he'd be a failure of a father and nipped it in the bud before disaster struck...

but I also think that's where anger comes in. because you didn't tell him. he didn't have a choice at all.

he knows he had a tendency to hesitate or run away, but he thinks really hard about it, and he knows he wouldn't have ran away from this.

leaving you alone would scare him a lot more than being a father. being a bad or absent father would scare him a lot more than trying to be a good one. knowingly abandoning a life he helped create, would scare him so much more. he wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise.

so while he gets it. he doesn't get why you didn't try.

and if you explain that you worried about ruining his future, he's so upset and so mad because how could you make that choice for him? how could you take on the burden alone?

this is also where confusion merges in, because while the answers are so obvious or easy to guess, he just can't believe it. he doesn't wanna believe it...

now about your future...

cove still loves you. he's loved you his whole life, it's hard to stop even 5 years later... and seeing you, it makes his heart throb because he's dreamed about this for many nights.

you broke up with him without giving any answers. you even up and moved by the end of the week so when he tried to give you space, before talking to you, it was too late. your room was pretty much void of every sign of life.

you took all your treasured items, your clothes- spare some youd been meaning to get rid of, your pictures, your hobby items. everything. he's surprised you didn't just take the bed and frame.

he's surprised you didn't just carve out his heart n take it with you, because if it's still in his chest, why does it feel so hollow?...

it'd take a really long time to even think of a romantic relationship. if at all. maybe cove's even accepted the break up at some point, depending on how long you'd been together. but if you'd been together since you were 13, it's a hard pill to swallow. bc you can put up with his angsty teenage self, what changed...?

I think seeing you be a parent, and so adored by your son, warms up his heart. makes him fall in love a bit at the sight.

it's not instant, he's getting to know you again. and getting to know this life that he didn't even know was waiting for him.

it's a good 2 or 3 years of figuring out this mess until it becomes something that makes sense. or as much sense as it can make. and if there's still something there, no matter how miniscule. it will catch fire.

now about the kiddo... he's so scared. and I hope you took a few days of talking with cove, and prbly cliff n Kyra bc they have a lotta feelings n thoughts on this too, before you try to integrate cove into his life.

it's small. cove meeting you at the park, and either your son is asking cove a billion questions (both abt why the sky is blue, and awkward questions abt why he wasn't present before...)

or he's trying to drag him on the monkey bars (doesn't work, cove's feet are on the ground still....)

or he's sitting silently on the blanket, reading, occasionally showing cove his favorite scene of the picture book or making him pronounce a word

but it does get bigger, it becomes lunch-n-movie dates, spending the night at your house (at your son's insistence. prbly bc he didn't want him to leave after a fun day), then cove taking him out alone..

it's a lot. and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards or that you're not moving at all because it's hard, for awhile. and even though his dad is on speed dial, there's not enough information he can give cove in how to take care of and deal with a kid he just met a few months ago.

especially a kid who already has a bit of personality, is hell on wheels (like most 5 year olds), possibly has many questions n sometimes problems with cove suddenly being here... it's a lot. n cliff can't help with any of it really.

he does get comfortable, eventually. although there's still times when he's sad, sometimes even angry about what happened, and all he's missed out on, he's so so happy to not miss out on anything else.

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #angst

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slashers-sister · 9 months

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What if you just kidnapped adopted an animal?

How would your brothers react?

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE AS YOUR FAMILY LETS GOOOOOO

(I FORGOT, MARTHA IS THE CHICKEN 👆)

(Don't worry, I'll write more later, I'm just lazy and it takes a while for things to flow, you can request stuff if you want👍)

Note:

No animal death! Roadkill mentioned, but not actual descriptions of animals dying of your wondering!

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Drayton

(Raccoon/trash panda)

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Goodness. You are practically begging your older brother day and night. He's getting annoyed. The twins used to do the same thing. Quit givin' him flashbacks of the twins annoying the hell out of him!!

"Sister, Darlin', the only ray of sunshine on this god forsaken farm. Please. We are not getting a dog."

"I don' want a dog! Brother please he's right-"

"For fucks sake I said no!"

"...right outside."

"What?"

Then you showed your lovely little friend. 'Bark'. He was caught in a trap, and had been cowering in fear. All the loud noises scared the poor raccoon kit. Man you definitely scared the crap out of bark at first!..

N' till you fed it. Then he disregarded everything, you where so sweet!

"Kiddo. Please explain how you.. no, don't. I don't even wanna know. Please understand we CAN'T keep it. So don't name-"

"His name is bark."

~Long pause of silence.~

"...yer gonna whine and cry till I say we can keep it, aren't ya?"

"He likes blueberries."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Well, unannounced to you, that's no longer just your raccoon. He grows fond of it. It'll help him collect eggs out of the chicken coop.. it's definitely quite a nice cooking buddy.

Drayton even made him a little hat for Halloween, Drayton had to sew up everyone's clothes every once in a while. You of course helped make the little tie.

Yes, that's right. A little red tie.. and tiny chef hat.

Drayton made sure that little chef hat fit perfectly.

He had help around the kitchen, surprisingly Bark was quite a helpful boy. He would understand the difference between words. Sadly often getting sugar and salt confused, there both white, give him a break.

He doesn't mind Martha, including even stealing an egg for her to try and hatch. And even went outside to steal some berries for her.

Bark was a bit of a thief, sometimes you'd get little presents.. Nubbins knife.. Maybe one of Chop-Top's CDs.. Drayton's favorite ladle.. definitely has stolen knives and other sharp objects for you to use.

Bark was treated like a little prince, being snuck little food scraps.. either from you or Drayton. And it sure didn't mind eating human, heck. When you got a bit older, he screeched when someone got inside the house.. 'How dare they get inside the house!! Who the fuck are you! FUCKING OUT YOU- oh hi Chop-Top!!' kind of attitude.

Have you thought about putting him in a show about raccoon cooking? Yes.

Was it made up by you?

Yes.

Will you admit that? Probably not.

Of course, you see Bark as not only your best friend, but your pet.. you both get in trouble equally.

Bark was definitely part of the family now, the most protected 'coon in all of Texas.

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Chop-Top & Nubbins

(Coyote.. except there's 4.)

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Well. Their plans where definitely.. cut short? No ruined in all honesty. You where outside at 2 am, feeding your new friends. Your new dogs.

..You mistook them as dogs.

Or maybe you refused to think they where anything else.. I mean they where so friendly!

You named them already. Josie, Cutler, Terry, and Michael. You know Josie has a cut in her ear, and Cutler had strawberry blonde fur, and white paws. Terry was the definition of midnight. You could only see his eyes. And Michael was named Michael because of those.. black beady eyes. How cute.

..Who would've guessed they eat human. Scavengers to the fullest.

Meanwhile, Chop-Top and Nubbins where planning to sneak out, probably to go mess some shit up, and make someone's day tomorrow horrible. By accident they caught you taking care of your four.. dogs. Oops?

"W-what the ff-uck are you doing up at t-two am?!" Nubbins said, half-yelling half-whispering.

"Uh.. well.. uhm.." you said quietly. the coyotes began growling. They haven't met the twins or any of your family yet.

Chop-Top immediately tried to get to you, thinking the coyotes where growling at you. Cutler snapped at him.

Chop-Top grabbed the coyote by the scruff of its neck.. you calmed down Josie, Terry, and Michael. And immediately grabbed Cutler out of Chop-Top's hands!

"The hell?! It was growlin' at you! What the fuck are ya doin'?" Chop-Top said.. man if the commotion didn't wake up Drayton, the yelling would.

"Cutler wasn't growling at me! They're not used to you guys.. this is why I feed em' in the mornin'..

"Y-.. you w-what. How l-l-long have ya been d-doin' this?!"

Nubbins was extremely confused, wouldn't they have realized this by now? They're pretty damn smart.. then again they did eat tide pods as a kid so.

"Well, Terry was first, than Cutler, then Michael, than Josie, and I think-"

"Ya fuckin' named em?" Chop-Top said, almost confused. There where 4, how could you remember all of them? "A-and how long have you b-been f-f-feeding them?!" Nubbins said after a second..

'Jeez, gimme time to answer'.. ya thought.

After a moment of calming down the coyotes, you said, "Well.. It's been a few months.. and I did name them. ~You explained how you told them apart.~ and I feed them because they gimme little things!"

You showed the twins your other bracelet. You had two, one you and your family shared, the teeth bracelet Nubbins made everyone, and your other one, it was old, and had little feathers, beads, some string, and a few other things on it.

"Ya realize Drayton is gonna have your ass- ~Nubbins elbowed him really hard, they are trying to curse less, plus having a baby sister made them all sort of realize they need to have a less "fuck around and find out" attitude.. you where their only sister.~ I mean.. your gonna get in trouble when Drayton finds out."

"If he finds out."

Yep, definitely their sister.

"What? What do you mean 'if'?"

"If. If he finds out."

The twins kind of stare at ya. Wow. You take after them a scary amount.. That's a bad thing. At least for Drayton.

Immediately you pull them over to the spot under your window, which is where your coyotes decides to mostly hide off too.. you had put a bunch of brush in the way to hide them. You kept showing them your coyotes.. Josie really liked Chop-Top! And Michael really liked Nubbins! Of course Terry and Cutler were not as happy that the twins are well. Your brothers.

But they still didn't bite them. The twins shared all the times they captured animals.. and tried to keep them as pets. Surprisingly only 2 out of the 9 died of starvation. Drayton had made them take the animals back out.. but the twins were going to keep these coyotes.

If that includes getting hit with a broom, or depending potentially shot, so fucking be it. Granted they won't get shot, Drayton loves them even if he hates them at the same time. But your partly the unspoken favorite like Bubba.

In the morning, well. Shit. Shit indeed. Drayton was pissed. Obviously.

Too bad, ya are keepin' the coyotes.

And he of course asks how you'll feed them..

You take them to the barn you are pulling your older brother along sort of forcefully, to show that they'll follow you anywhere.. and come out with an arm, and fucking YEET that shit across the yard.

(Excuse my 2018 language)

And everycoyote went after it! Josie needed some assurance that yes, you can go get it, but they did! And man! Did they tear that arm up. They where scavengers, they were hungry. And they brought you back the simi-clean bone.

Bubba was honestly giddy about the whole situation, signing "They are just like dogs"

You got to go to town that day! The coyotes stayed in the bed of the truck, and sat peacefully. You got them all collars.. and food bowls.

The twins got to help pick out the tags for them! You picked out a star for Terry, a heart for Michael, and the twins picked a flower shape for Cutler, and a plain circle for Josie. Cutler got a dark blue color, Josie got a pink color, Michael got red, and Terry got green.

It was a nice day. And an even nicer day when you got back to the farm, to show you can practically sick your little puppers on victims.

Nubbins favorite picture is still you, his twin, Drayton, Bubba, and the puppers over a freshly dead body, laughing as the coyotes destroy the victims face.

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Bubba

(He signs, I just make it dramatic)

(Snake)

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You'd think he had a heart attack when you came in with your snake.

No no, it's not that's it is a snake.

The problem is that it's a cottonmouth.

Wrapped around your throat.

After a moment you heard thundering steps you guessed it was either a REALLY pissed off Drayton', or one happy Bubba. Ya hoped it was the second one. He ran up to you signing quickly. Almost too quick to understand.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to pull it off?! Why do you even have it?!"

You couldn't make out the 17 other questions.

"No, no, Snappy isn't choking me, he's actually quite sweet!"

Spoiler, you've taken care of this snake for 3 or 4 weeks. Naming him included. You thought Snappy was a good name because of how he would snap at you when he first saw you.

"You named it? Why? Why is it wrapped around your throat?"

"Because he got tired, and I move a lot faster than him. Plus I wanted to get him some water."

"What"

His confusion is obviously known, and a bit funny. You explained you found Snappy trapped and almost being eaten by a few owls. Those owls became lovely stuffing for pillows, and now you have a cottonmouth that won't leave you alone.

Bubba did not trust this snake whatsoever. What if it hurts you? It's a snake. He literally had to throw them across the yard like a bad Frisbee.

Snappy liked him tho! Throughout the day Bubba tried to stand near and close to you. Snappy kept thinking that was an invitation to keep trying to crawl on his shoulder.

Haha. No.

He was holding himself from throwing it. Technically everyone was. Especially Chop-Top. Man he hated snakes. Especially after time in Vietnam.

Drayton said it wasn't allowed on the floor, near any food, and nowhere near Grandpa. And especially not anywhere it can cause trouble!

Nubbins was indifferent. It's. A snake. Yippers.

Get it far away from him this instant.

Chop-Top was 🤏 close to finding a new creative way to plan a snakes murder.

Grandpa used to have to deal with snakes all the time, he ain't excited. As long as you're happy tho.

Throughout the next few days it kept slithering towards Bubba. Snappy really likes Bubba in general.

You are so lucky he's your brother. He would've killed it by now if not. Snappy and Bubba got along better after a while.. Snappy was a nice company while chopping up bodies.

It's not like you had too many people to scare with your new snake. Snappy really likes human tho. You had a few bites on your arms, not deep, but the poor boy accidentally did bite a bit hard. Ya should've fed him breakfast!!

Bubba wasn't always within your vision.. none of your brothers were. You often fend for yourself, it ain't too hard, if ya need food ya just go inside and take whatever is in the fridge.

So having a friend was nice, And Snappy loves you, otherwise he would've bitten you and your brothers in their sleep.

That would be a lovely lecture in hell as you get bitched out by Drayton for letting Snappy bite everyone >:(

So you may or may not have gotten him a cage- well sort of. Kennel. One of the old ones in the house when you guys used to have a dog.

Snappy acted like a dog, tail wagging included.

(more like half of his lower body?)

Your brothers were a little worried that your lack of human interaction was taking a toll on you, you already talked to yourself a lot.. and sometimes accidentally answered yourself! And now they can't tell if you're talking to Snappy, or yourself.

Drayton and Bubba, heck even the twins surprisingly were able to teach you some things,

Usually you'd rather run around and help around the farm, not learn. Cannibal children are feral, ya can't do much to keep them contained.

They are lucky they scared you enough to wear shoes! You didn't want to step on a scorpion.

With the few things they taught you, you made many hats for your snake. Snappy wore each one with pride.

Your favorite is the little plushy knife Bubba helped you make for Snappy. Snappy indeed loves it too!

Everyone slowly warmed up to Snappy. Including Bubba. Who now carried him around like a little ball of spaghetti.

He secretly fed him scraps off of the butchering table.

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Bonus:

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Grandpa

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Nope, get it out of the house.

No butts, get that ------ out of the house now.

Don't make him get your older brothers.

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The END WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TOOK ME TOO LONG TO WRITE THIS

Am I proud of it? Yep

Am I sad I lost all my ideas for Drayton? Yes.

Thank you for reading regardless! <3

#texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #chop top sawyer #drayton sawyer #nubbins sawyer #bubba sawyer #Tcmwriting #the hitchhiker #the cook #leatherface #robert sawyer #tcm nubbins #tcm drayton #grandpa sawyer

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vvatchword · 6 months

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Paradise Lost, Book 2 (Non-Zoot Edition): Sin Addresses Satan; Satan Allies with Chaos

<- Part 2 || Back to the Beginning || Part 4 ->

I'm not zooted for this one, I just want to talk about it.

Keep in mind this is flow-of-consciousness, so I write down exactly what I think, and then later I sometimes discover i am wrong roflll

“O Father, what intends thy hand,” she cried, Against thy only Son? What fury O Son, Possesses thee to bend that mortal Dart Against thy Father’s head? And know’st for whom; For him who sits above and laughs the while At thee ordain’d his drudge, to execute What e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice, bids, His wrath which one day will destroy ye both.”

“To execute/what e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice” is a metal line and she IS NOT LYING

I am continually struck by how all of these characters have not only acknowledged that God cannot be defeated, they’ve always known God couldn’t be defeated. They still fought him anyway. If I were reading this in a less fantastic setting, I would be like: “M-hmm I feel like a few important documents are missing.”

Another interesting trait: all of these characters know the future. Sometimes it’s awkward—for example, they spend most of Book 2 trying to figure out what to do after falling from heaven, then wax eloquent about events that haven’t happened yet.

It’s hard to know how much was intentional here, and how much was just done in the spirit of the thing, but you know that saying: “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”? (2 Peter 3:8) It’s like these characters are not only devil-and-angel at once, but also every form of themselves from beginning to end. They haven’t yet committed horrors on the human race, but they also have. (This is not free will.)

This book makes constant asides as to God’s greatness. Everybody stops to talk him up—and by “everybody,” I mean “every single devil who gets a speech.” We haven’t had a single “good guy” yet: the only glory given to God that has been from a non-devil is Milton himself. While speaking of God, the devils’ tones rarely feel sullen or angry; instead, they feel very rote and matter-of-fact, as though they’re reading lines out of an encyclopedia. This is just the way the world is, and all the characters accept what is natural.

That’s dissonant on multiple levels. First, these devils literally JUST tried to overthrow Heaven (aka the ideal version of the world, the world-as-it-should-be). Second, given how absolutely broken the devils sound when they give their speeches—the ways they attempt to soothe themselves and comprehend their failure, added to their sudden comprehension of time (did eternity need to be invoked in heaven or Paradise until the birth of pain?)—these acknowledgments of God’s superiority ring false, like another scribe popped in and wrote BUT DON’T WORRY—

I’m trying to figure out Milton’s motivations here. Did he want to reassure the reader, the publisher, a religious authority, or himself? Keep in mind this was published back in a day where “freedom of expression” was not a thing.

By invoking the importance of the monarchy over and over, this may be Milton's attempt to say: "Mr. King sir, this is not supposed to be a story about your overthrow. Please do not kill me."

I’ve also started wondering about the political realities of when this was published. This feels extremely Protestant. Hey Wikipedia whaddaya say

[Milton scholar John] Leonard speculates that the English Civil War interrupted Milton's earliest attempts to start his “epic [poem] that would encompass all space and time”.

YEAH THERE IT IS

This book was published in 1667… by Peter Parker. Aw yeah :) With great power comes great abuse :))))

I also didn’t know Milton was freaking blind! You know, that fits; the story’s rhythm begs to be read out loud. I love the imagery that painters came up with: Milton dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters. I don’t know that this actually happened, but it’s kinda cool. Sounds like a callback to Homer so I’m a little wary—you know how people are.

Milton Dictating to His Daughter, Henry Fuseli (1794)

I bet this is exactly how he looked too.

HEEEGUUUGGHRRRHHHHH

Also, I just discovered that CS Lewis wrote a preface to Paradise Lost. I adored him as a child. I’m definitely reading that at some point.

Anyway, want to go back to reading Paradise Lost? I DO. Remember where we were? The snake-assed lady whose vagine is a Cerberi doghouse? Well, the devil asks who she and this Dart-wielding shade are…

Without research, I’m guessing the “dart” is a spear. The other option is an arrow, which sounds significantly less dangerous, and no bow is mentioned. I mean, you can still stab someone to death with an arrow, it just seems kinda silly. It’s like running at someone and jamming a bullet into their eye.

Of course, it may be meant to be an arrow. There’s a famous image in Revelations I can’t stop thinking about: the white horseman (commonly interpreted as Jesus—Revelation 6:2) comes out with a bow, but no arrows or quiver.

Holy shit, if you put Jesus and Death together you get a bow and an arrow and the arrow is death

I’m just kidding please ignore everything I say

[The devil asks: who the fuck are you guys and why are you calling me father?] T’ whom thus the Portress of Hell Gate reply’d: “Hast thou forgot me then, and do I seem Now in thine eye so foul, once deem’d so fair In Heav’n, when at th’ Assembly, and in sight Of all the Seraphim with thee combin’d In bold conspiracy against Heav’n’s King, All on a sudden miserable pain Surpris’d thee, dim thine eyes, and dizzy swum In darkness, while thy head flames thick and fast Threw forth, ’til on the left side op’ning wide, Likest to thee in shape and count’nance bright, Then shining heav’nly fair, a Goddess arm’d Out of thy head I sprung: amazement seiz’d All th’ Host of Heav’n; back they recoil’d afraid At first, and call’d me Sin, and for a Sign Portentous held me…

Suddenly, allegory!

I’ve been researching allegory lately—not well, and piecemeal—but I’ve been interested in its function, as well as what makes a good allegory and what makes a bad one. Now, before this point, I would have said that an allegory encloses the entire narrative, not just a part of it. But here we have traditional characters (Satan, Beelzebub, etc), all of whom Milton intended as representations of real spiritual beings, and all of a sudden: the allegorical representations of Sin and Death. They are not just characters, they are concepts—and yet I’d say they belong here. I feel like I can almost put a finger on why…

Was Milton a Biblical literalist? I really don’t know. There are most likely cultural and historical differences I’m missing here. I’m sure that, if Milton were a literalist, it would not be like that of the evangelicals we see today. Evangelical literalism is a particularly stupid, flat kind, and I’m not sure it was that simple back in 1660s England.

Another neat little factoid: a lot of Paradise Lost heralds back to the epic poetry of the Greeks and Romans, right? Who else sprang fully-formed from a forehead? Athena from Zeus! So this is a great callback and recontextualizing of an old myth, setting Lucifer on par with The Rapist King.

One big theme of Book 1’s was that all the other gods of the world are demons—every one of them. So Sin popping out, appearing godlike—for a moment, just like Satan himself—is a hell of a backslap. Athena was a virgin god of wisdom. You’re about to see what happens to Sin (hint: she’s a ho)

I suppose it is also possible that this is an attempt of Milton’s to represent an evolution of theology. Speaking of CS Lewis: Lewis believed that all Classical myth was composed of spiritual half-truths—like the ancient pagan faiths of the improperly-godded Classical peoples were reaching for that absolute truth of Christ, and were unable to because he hadn’t been born yet. According to Lewis, all these old faiths would ultimately be brought together under the umbrella of the Christian God’s single one. It’s one reason why Chronicles of Narnia is full of mythological beasts particular to the Greeks and Romans.

What do you mean, “what about the Jews? Weren’t the Jews around in ancient Rome? And at the time of ancient Greece for that matter?” Girl I don’t remember it’s been a minute and this is just me talking shit into the ether and I’m not even zooted right now

“…but familiar grown, I pleas’d, and with attractive graces won The most averse, thee chiefly, who full oft Thyself in me thy perfect image viewing Becam’st enamour’d, and such joy thou took’st With me in secret, that my womb conceiv’d A growing burden.

“Proshippers DNI/Sinatan shippers DNI”

Can we please appreciate “my womb conceiv’d/a growing burden.” That’s so pretty.

“Meanwhile War arose, And fields were fought in Heav’n; wherein remain’d (For what could else) to our Almighty Foe Clear Victory, to our part loss and rout Through all the Empyrean…

Back to the devil and his minions throwing in little asides about how great God is. Does this feel weird to you, too? It’s disingenuous. Every time you’re just about to accept the demons and hell-born as characters with full interior worlds, they give up on themselves. Characters should be selfish, self-oriented, self-protective. These characters keep stopping to bare their throats.

So why did these demons turn against God if they knew they were going to fail?

I mention this because Paradise Lost waffles about “free will” a lot. At first, I thought the devil mentioned “free choice” because “choice” was an inherently fallen concept, but then I remembered that Adam has a whole conversation with an angel and “free will” is uttered as a benefit.

Here’s a fun verse—one of many, they’re everywhere—that Milton was probably trying to invoke:

The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, even the wicked for the day of evil. Proverbs 16:4

That’s very cool. thanks God. Hey free will isn’t free if you brutally punish anyone who sticks a toe out of your arbitrary line you fucking asshole

“…down they fell Driv’n headlong from the Pitch of Heaven, down Into this Deep…

If you repeat this line out loud, it will heal you of all wounds. How do poets talk about this shit properly? I don’t have the language to describe why it’s good. It hurts, it’s so tasty. I started salivating like this was a delicious cookie. That delicious alliteration. Those hard d’s. HEA(D)long, then HEA(V)en. Soft f’s (fell, from). “Driv’n”, then “Heaven.” “Down” repeated twice, both times beginning a phrase. Long phrase, short phrase—the long fall, the hard stop; hard “d” to soft “v.” You can feel the drop.

I don’t know how to explain this so say it out loud ok

“…and in the general fall I also; at which time this powerful Key Into my hand was giv’n, with charge to keep These Gates for ever shut, which none can pass Without my op’ning.”

A woman who is also an opening. That’s really neat. Oh shit Jesus knocks down the gates of hell, right? Does this imply yet more rape or… yeeeeahhhhhh

Again, I’m struck by how the wicked are the tools of God as soon as the angels are. Why does Sin have to keep this key? What stops her from tossing that shit away? What stops her from opening the gates of Hell and leaving?

The glib answer is, “God does.” However, this wouldn’t be completely fair to say. Allegorical limitations apply here: Sin is not a full character.

Now, as Sin is a concept in this case, it’s like she’s transformed Satan into an allegorical concept by proxy: only by Sin might we allow Satan in. Nice.

It’s like… a tiny allegorical universe for a moment. A wee allegorical nugget.

“Pensive here I sat Alone, but long I sat not, ’til my womb Pregnant by thee, and now excessive grown Prodigious motion felt and rueful throes.

No. No I hate this. Stop

“At last this odious offspring whom thou seest Thine own begotten, breaking violent way Tore through my entrails…

remember Alien? Unfortunate

“…that with fear and pain Distorted, all my nether shape thus grew Transform’d: but he my inbred enemy…

I know we’re very grossed out but can we appreciate this use of the word “inbred” for a moment

“Forth issu’d, brandishing his fatal Dart Made to destroy: I fled, and cri’d out ‘Death’; Hell trembl’d at the hideous Name, and sigh’d From all her Caves, and back resounded ‘Death.’

Remember the “execrable shape” and the “miscreated Front”? I laughed about it, but Milton was being literal: what else could the devil say about Death? Death is a haze without meaningful form. Death can take whatever form he needs to do what he must. And, in this case, Death is greater than his father. He’s an anti-Jesus.

I also love the use of echo. The feeling of resignation and acceptance… just mwah, mwah.

“I fled, but he pursu’d (though more, it seems, Inflam’d with lust than rage) and swifter far, Me overtook—his mother!—all dismayed, And in embraces forcible and foul Engend’ring with me, of that rape begot These yelling Monsters that with ceaseless cry Surround me, as thou sawst, hourly conceiv’d And hourly born…”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Noooooo

So for the record, this is Death repeatedly raping Sin, who then gives birth to dogs on the hour, every hour, for the rest of eternity. Why dogs? Because nobody wants that.

Let’s take a step back from the allegory for a second, because we can. What did Sin do that was wrong? She was literally formed without choice. She had no choice in her nature and she had no choice in what happened to her. It’s debatable she wanted to fuck Satan. It is possible she did nothing but be born and ravished.

Yes I know she’s a concept, but she’s also playing a character here. If you didn’t want me to feel sorry for Sin you shouldn’t have made her a person. Also, the way Sin is being treated is considered an acceptable punishment. The devil characters, who can be treated purely as characters, are being punished by Milton in what he perceives as acceptable ways, and it’s arguable his audience would think similarly.

If God can treat the devils like this, there's no reason he can't treat us like this.

God is a fucking monster y’all. He’s the equivalent of every redneck who fantasizes about killing an Evildoer. Except then he MADE the Evildoer so he could purposely kill them. Worse than that: he made the Evildoer so he could make them suffer.

You ever see someone write so well they fuck up their own propaganda

“…with sorrow infinite To me, for when they list into the womb That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw My bowels, their repast; then burst forth Afresh with conscious terrors vex me ’round, That rest or intermission none I find.

Heeeyyyy are you supposed to feel sorry for Sin?

According to a quote of CS Lewis’ (from Wikipedia. Again, I’m not trying to do a great job here, I’m just fucking around, who even gives a shit), contemporaries of Paradise Lost would have known there were moments they were Supposed to Feel Certain Things, and that the Devil would be considered Bad right away, without any character-building whatsoever.

This is absolutely true. I’m coming to this slow realization that Paradise Lost exhibits traits of both modern narratives—where a character’s quality is SHOWN by their behavior, which includes their dialogue, which may not be trustworthy—and those of allegories, an older literary form. Allegories of the old days were far more straightforward, with characters written to be as one-dimensional and obvious as possible. Nobody wanted to be misunderstood.

However, this is also such a tone-deaf and willfully stupid take that I reject it in part. Look, Lewis was smart, but he would twist himself into a pretzel before he’d admit God could be a fucker: contemporary readers of this book definitely had problems with the devil’s part, and the devil’s complex qualities are part of the book’s draw. I’d argue that the devil is probably the only reason we’re still talking about Paradise Lost today—plenty of good shit was being written back in Milton’s day, and you have to dig to find it. Why did Paradise Lost not fall into a dark pit where only researchers go? It’s not because its first readers decided altogether to read it in a single manner most pleasing.

People are not monoliths guys. Movements are born and slow evolutions turned.

“Before mine eyes in opposition sits Grim Death my Son and foe, who sets them on, And me his Parent would full soon devour For want of other prey, but that he knows His end with mine involv’d; and knows that I Should prove a bitter Morsel, and his bane, When ever that shall be; so Fate pronounc’d.

This is simultaneously horrible, beautiful, and the most metal thing I’ve ever read.

Sin’s longing for cannibalism is the first overt sign of her interior monstrousness (unless she desired the incest, anyway).

This is a reminder to me that to appear ugly or distasteful was often used as a sign in old literature that someone is trash. It’s not a new concept. People confuse personal discomfort with truth all the time.

I am also reminded of the qualities of old allegorical literature. Dialogue wasn’t used to expand on a character’s inner world—it was used like an encyclopedia entry, to deliver clearcut information. The character was not a person, the character was a concept, and nobody was confused about that.

I just had an interesting thought: does Paradise Lost represent a kind of middle ground between older allegorical works and more modern character-driven works?

Wait, if she wishes she could eat Death, why did she stop him from fighting Satan

I mean, Death would win, but… I don’t know. A slave to the narrative? Yeah, probably an allegorical limitation. Allegorical symbols can’t break character or they cease being allegorical. This is one of their major limitations and it’s why writing an allegory that isn’t hamfisted is like scooping your eyes out with hot spoons. I’m starting to see how it’s unwise to just throw a random allegorical character in with a bunch of Normies: first, because they’re limited; they often can’t act like people. Second, what does that say about the rest of the narrative? It opens a can of worms. The artificial limitations of the devils suddenly becomes suspect. The allegory struggles to stretch beyond its tiny nugget prison.

“But thou O Father, I forewarn thee, shun His deadly arrow…”

Oh… ok :(

goofy-ass specter running at the devil with a goddamn arrow

I mean, it’ll work.

“…neither vainly hope To be invulnerable in those bright Arms, Though temper’d heav’nly, for that mortal dint, Save he who reigns above, none can resist.”

Every now and then, you get a hint as to how a word has evolved. Today, we think of “arms” as weaponry; here, Milton uses it to refer to “armor.” As for “dint”, it could go either as “blow, stroke” (the archaic reading, according to my dictionary) or as “force, power.” Also according to my dictionary, this is where “dent” came from (take this with a grain of salt lol).

I don’t know, it’s very cool.

She finish’d, and the subtle Fiend his lore Soon learned, now milder, and thus answer’d smooth.

I love the current-day connotations of the word “lore.” It makes this kind of funny.

Reading on, I’m honestly not sure if he believes Sin or not. You think you’d remembering fucking your brainchild. Then again, this is Hell; the characters exist in a weird between place. It’s possible that in the spirit world, concepts can be people… perhaps the nature of the spiritual is its adherence to the ideal (both ideal Wickedness and Holiness).

What makes this even harder to understand is: where does Milton intend for double-meaning and earnestness to reside? I ask because it was the style of allegories and parables to be rather straight-forward, as Lewis said. But these characters are sometimes almost modern, with clear snark and ulterior motives.

“Dear Daughter, since thou claim’st me for thy Sire, And my fair Son here showst me, the dear pledge Of dalliance had with thee in Heav’n, and joys Then sweet, now sad to mention, through dire change Befall’n us unforeseen, unthought of,

Smooth.

“…know I come no enemy, but to set free From out this dark and dismal house of pain,

Wait a minute. Is this where House of Pain got their name. IS THIS WHERE HOUSE OF PAIN

(I looked it up. It’s from HG Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, which is just as weird.)

“Both him and thee, and all the heav’nly Host Of Spirits that in our just pretenses arm’d Fell with us from on high: from them I go This uncouth errand sole, with lonely steps to tread Th’ unfounded deep, and through the void immense To search with wand’ring quest…

“From there I go—this uncouth errand sole,” is what I’ll say when I’m heading out on errands from now on.

“…a place foretold Should be, and, by concurring signs, ere now Created vast and round, a place of bliss In the Purlieus of Heav’n…

I had to look up a word. “Purlieu” means “the ground on the edges of a forest, especially when partly subject to the same forest laws concerning game hunting, etc” or “the outskirts of any place; an adjacent district; the environs or neighborhood.”

I really like the implication of “at the edge of law.” That’s what God keeps coming down to—that’s what the book keeps coming back to: the battle between law and anarchy.

“…and therein plac’d A race of upstart Creatures…

fuck yeah. fuck you satan

“…to supply Perhaps our vacant room, though more remov’d, Least Heav’n surcharg’d with potent multitude Might hap to move new broiles…

I had to look up “broiles,” and in the process, discovered what may be the best dictionary of all time: Shakespeare’s Words.

“Broil” once meant “turmoil, confused fighting, battle.”

“…be this or aught Then this more secret now design’d, I haste To know, and this once known, shall soon return, And bring ye to the place where Thou and Death Shall dwell at ease…”

This section is so delicious.

First, Satan is schmoozing, 1000%. We only know this because he first talked shit to Death and Sin, and has now changed his tune. That said, it’s wildly unclear what his motivations are, half because he’s talking to literal allegorical figures. Once allegories get involved, they are stringently policed: neither Sin nor Death can be surprising to us. They will exhibit all the traits of their counterparts as understood by Milton’s version of Protestant Christianity. Their purpose is edification and education. An allegory is an encyclopedic entry given flesh.

Second, for what purpose does Satan offer these things? To pay them off? Probably. Does he offer them because he has grown a heart? No, probably not. Is he just offering what these characters want to hear? Probably. But, as you’ll soon see, he’s not lying. Does he know he’s not lying?

“…and up and down unseen Wing silently the buxom Air…

“Buxom” used to mean “lively, cheerful, bright,” not BIG OL TITTIES

“…embalm’d With odors; there ye shall be fed and fill’d Immeasurably, all things shall be your prey.”

We know, because we are inundated with Christianity in this country, that he’s telling the truth. He’s explaining that once Sin and Death are free, they’ll be free to feed on the Earth.

Is he telling what he perceives as truth, or is he promising pie in the sky?

If we were to be blitheringly flat, like Lewis, we’d recognize Satan’s speech as literal: he’s offering a promise he can keep; he understands what is going to happen before it ever happens. But because he’s complex, and started off his speech with flattery, I’m also not completely sure—I can only know by reading on and finding out if he spoke the truth.

Of equal interest: Satan is also doing right by his baby mama and weird fucking son. Sure, he’s talking shit, but he’s also taking responsibility.

Just. Kinda weird situation all told.

He ceas’d, for both seem’d highly pleas’d, and Death Grinn’d horrible a ghastly smile, to hear His famine should be fill’d, and blest his maw Destin’d to that good hour…

God I love this description. I love how Death contains “famine”, how he blesses his empty throat with promises of glut.

…no less rejoic’d His mother bad, and thus bespake her Sire. “The key of this infernal Pit by due, And by command of Heav’n’s all-powerful King I keep, by him forbidden to unlock These Adamantine Gates; against all force Death ready stands to interpose his dart, Fearless to be o’ermatched by living might.

One guy with one arrow versus everybody.

It’s all right, tell me how it goes

“But what owe I to his commands above Who hates me, and hath hither thrust me down Into this gloom of Tartarus profound, To sit in hateful Office here confin’d, Inhabitant of Heav’n, and heav’nly-born, Here in perpetual agony and pain, With terrors and with clamors compass’d round Of mine own brood, that on my bowels feed…

OH MY GOD SHE’S DOING IT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

On that note: are you saying. That if God had maybe. Not been incredibly cruel to Sin. We may not have had Sin

Lewis would say something about how Sin had made her choice, and about how the brutalities wreaked against her were her own fault somehow, and that her nature was inherently wicked, so she would be wicked even when shown mercy. Then he'd end up with "it's an allegory anyway"

The problem with this is a) Christianity is about forgiving people who have committed some real humdingers, so this is logically dissonant, and b) so far, God hasn’t just punished: he has been nasty and cruel. The only love I have seen is between devils. If this is propaganda for God it’s not doing a very good job

“Thou art my Father, thou my Author, thou My being gav’st me; whom should I obey But thee, whom follow? Thou wilt bring me soon To that new world of light and bliss, among The Gods who live at ease, where I shall Reign At thy right hand voluptuous, as beseems Thy daughter and thy darling, without end.”

YES

Kinda weird but YES

Don’t take shit from that asshole lady he sucks

Thus saying, from her side the fatal Key, Sad instrument of all our woe, she took; And towards the Gate rolling her bestial train, Forthwith the huge Portcullis high up drew, Which but her self not all the Stygian powers Could once have moved… …So wide they stood, and like a Furnace mouth Cast forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame.

I just wanted to share this for the imagery. I love the imagery of a beautiful woman on a serpent’s tail, slipping slimy and bloody over the black earth, her body broken open in a hundred places where her hungry young have burst forth, and all around her the hellhounds loping. Then you can just feel the gates of Hell open and all I can think of is how I feel when I open the front door on a haboob.

“Redound” means “to fall out, contribute, turn out.”

Before their eyes in sudden view appear The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark Illimitable Ocean without bound, Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height, And time and place are lost; where eldest Night And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal Anarchy, amidst the noise Of endless wars and by confusion stand.

Most of what I’m sharing here, I just LIKE. I like the image of Chaos and void. I love how it dwarfs Lucifer. I can feel the wind surging from that hot black egress. It probably switches back on itself—in direction, in temperature, in violence.

Also, I can't stop remembering that weird starlit void lurking below the surface world of Elden Ring.

...Into this wild Abyss, The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, But all these in their pregnant causes mix’d Confus’dly, and which thus must ever fight, Unless th’ Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds, Into this wild Abyss the wary fiend Stood on the brink of Hell and look’d a while, Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith He had to cross.

“Frith” is an ancient word for “estuary.”

His Dark Materials is a book series. That phrase and the title of The Golden Compass originate from Paradise Lost. Speaking of which, I need to finish the series. From what I’ve read, the author had a bone to pick with CS Lewis, and I do approve of that.

Again, I love the imagery of this section, and that’s the only reason I’m sharing this. See, so far, Satan has been presented as a giant. He’s enormous. He’s powerful. But the chaos dwarfs him. Could absolutely swallow him. You believe in it as a dangerous place—a primordial place. It feels older than God.

Although the void here is technically allegorical, there’s worldbuilding here. This is an attempt at realism. The boundaries between allegorical and literal smear.

…At last his Sail-broad Vans He spreads for flight, and in the surging smoke Uplifted spurns the ground, thence many a League As in a cloudy Chair ascending rides Audacious, but that seat soon failing, meets A vast vacuity: all unawares Flutt’ring his pennons vain plumb down he drops Ten thousand fathom deep…

I had no idea that “vans” originated as a word for “wings.” For a brief, heady moment, I imagined Lucifer taking off in some cool fuckin kicks.

Here's where you see what I mean about action sequences: Milton is so damn good at making you feel the rough weather and envisioning weird spaces. "Surging smoke," "ascending rides/Audacious," "a vast vacuity."

...i love alliteration and action verbs. so much

…when straight behold the Throne Of Chaos, and his dark Pavilion spread Wide on the wasteful Deep; with him Enthron’d Sat Sable-vested Night, eldest of things, The consort of his Reign; and by them stood Orcus and Ades, and the dreaded name Of Demogorgon; Rumor next and Chance, And Tumult and Confusion all embroil’d, And Discord with a thousand various mouths.

Again, I just LOVE this. I’m trying to only share things I enjoy, but it’s so hard when the whole book sings.

"Wide on the wasteful deep." Mmmmfffffff f f f ffffffffffffff

"Sable-vested Night." You know, when people adjectivize nouns, usually I get mad, but this is gorgeous.

Had to include the bit about Discord because never before have I appreciated the name so well

“Yours be th’ advantage all, mine the revenge.”

Metal. Take whatever you want: I wanna fuck this guy over. (Satan absolutely said this.)

...Satan stay’d not to reply, But glad that now his Sea should find a shore, With fresh alacrity and force renew’d Springs upward like a Pyramid of fire Into the wild expanse…

One thing I like to imagine, especially when I see visual depictions of spectacular events, is wonder how the author came to envision them. As writers, we’re very lucky in this day and age that we can go look up videos and images and firsthand accounts of farflung events, and a lot of us take cues from film and television. Milton would have had a more limited palette.

What is more, not everyone can write an action sequence. Milton can. He understands that language is about feeling, not seeing.

It makes me wonder: what inspired the image of Satan’s launch? Fireworks? Comets? Lightning? The mere interplay with light out in the world?

“Glad now his Sea should find a shore” is a beautiful line and it’s about the devil allying with Chaos rofl

Send that one to your lover one day without explanation.

But now at last the sacred influence Of light appears, and from the walls of Heav’n Shoots far into the bosom of dim Night A glimmering dawn…

The sun is heaven confirmed

We're all gonna live in the sun someday

Oh wait I'm writing this.....

...im going to hell.......

…Satan with less toil, and now with ease Wafts on the calmer wave by dubious light And like a weather-beaten Vessel holds Gladly the Port, though Shrouds and Tackle torn; Or in the emptier waste, resembling Air, Weighs his spread wings, at leisure to behold Far off th’ Empyreal Heav’n, extended wide In circuit, undetermin’d square or round…

It’s fascinating to me that Heaven is seen right away as bending the laws of physics. A different writer whose name rhymes with "HP Lovecraft" would be like NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY

With Opal Tow’rs and Battlements adorn’d Of living Sapphire, once his native Seat; And fast by hanging in a golden Chain This pendant world, in bigness as a Star Of smallest Magnitude close by the Moon.

“This pendant world” "living Sapphire" UggghhhhHHH it’s so good

Imagine for a second: the peoples of this era already knew the Earth was round, but nobody had seen it from space yet.

Milton could fully envision it—like a jewel hanging in the sky.

What I don’t understand is “the golden chain.” It may be literal lol

Thither full fraught with mischievous revenge, Accurst, and in a cursed hour he hies.

This is a word-by-word account of my green-cheek conure flying into a plate of mashed potatoes.

To Be Continued

#paradise lost #christianity #reading #paradise lost book 2 #vv reading #vvatchword #books #literature

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hananoami · 3 months

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[ Directional Orbit ] Fire - Stage 120 Clear VOD

On June 26th I finally cleared Rafayel's Directional Orbit: Fire - Stage 120! This is the last fight currently available for hunters to challenge in the Deepspace Trials. With this clear I can now say I have successfully completed all 120 stages of Open and Directional Orbits that are out. It's a feels good moment knowing that I was able to achieve this goal before the big update in July. Hopefully we'll see more stages soon.

Anyway, some important information pertaining to Stage 120. Like all red orbits, x0 stages it requires two different teams. Team 01's Protofield Stellactrum is 6-Pearl memories. Team 02's Protofield Stellactrum is 6-Violet memories.

By having a 'perfect match' with the Protofield Stellactrum you will receive additional attribute bonuses (for every color you match increase DMG boost 5.0% and DMG reduction 5.0% up to 30.0%), as well as the ability to shatter two protofield shields in a single strike. For this stage I opted to match the colors for each team. The bonuses of having a perfect match was more optimal instead of me trying to brute force it.

A disclaimer of sorts -- a lot of time, energy, and resources went into this stage. Everything here is based on my own experience with this particular fight. There is no right or wrong way to go about it. What worked for me may not work for you, but I hope some of the things I learned along the way could help you with your own trials.

What a long and precarious journey this has been, especially with Rafayel. From me begging the rng god(s) to bless me with his AB myth pair to struggling to obtain crit rate violet delta protocores... his team builds always made me work for it in every sense of the word. Which is why I am beyond ecstatic to finally be done with this, hahaha. I started this stage on 05/22 and finally cleared on 06/26 -- 5 weeks of progging this fight whenever his orbit was available... ngl it was pretty rough.

With Team 01, it wasn't so bad if you have a perfect match and group up the three wanderers. I've done countless runs of this stage and noticed that my build was strong enough to auto battle it -- though it sometimes cut really close to the timer ending. However, if you're doing it off color and trying to brute force it I would highly suggest that you stand close to / focus on Nauticverge (it's ranged with a staff). The other two wanderers will come to you to make it easier to group together.

With Team 02, the sheer amount of resources I invested into Rafayel's violet team is kinda wild. This was the first time I awakened a 4-star memory [Ivory Nightfall] but that was done only after I exhausted all of my other upgrades (ie. getting 5-star memories to level 80, maxing out +15 protocores). I don't regret that though. That memory is beautiful and well worth it since it's an ATK talent. I called it my make or break upgrade and thankfully that was the last bit of damage I needed to clear.

Originally, I was progging the second half of the stage using his Phantasma Sands guns... but finally gave up and swapped to Hunter Claymore to do even more damage. Truthfully, I'm not that great when it comes to melee weapons. Getting those stacks was a hit or miss because I anxiously dodge back too fast before seeing the red ring.

I know my game play was messy... but at least I made sure to press my buttons on cooldown, tried not to cap on my energy charges, and made sure to grab the fishtail beacon every time I used Rafayel's support skill. There's also the case with the last shield break of the fight. I made sure to hold my resonance skill until ~0:13 left on the timer to utilize the most damage out of my ardent oath during the wanderers weakened state. As seen in my video that was the final blow before I got my clear!

ADDITIONAL SCREENSHOTS

Companion: Rafayel's God of the Tides Weapon: Tidal Embrace Attribute Bonus For each matched stellactrum, increases DMG Boost 5.0% (currently increased: 30.0%) and DMG Reduction 5.0% (currently increased 30.0%). ♡ Affinity Bonus: 102 (Rafayel’s Protective Skill) When you take a fatal blow, Rafayel teleports to you, blocks a hit, and counter attacks. Enemies will be knocked back. [ HP 4000 || DEF 100 || ATK 200 ] Pair Bonus [TP] - Starting Effect: increases team DMG by 8%, reduces DMG taken by 8%, and increases Crit DMG by 10% when fighting alongside Sea Spirits. - Duo Rank 1: boosts Ardent Oath Charge by 20%. The starting level of Sea Spirits rises to Lv. 2, and Sea Spirits will last for 5 more seconds. - Duo Rank 2: increases Energy Charge cap by 1. During Heavenly Rain, recovery rate of energy charge is increased by 30%.

5☆ Temple's Promise (pearl/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 2 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Temple's Sunset (pearl/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 2 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Private Trip (pearl/lunar) Lv 80 using +11 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Fireworks Vow (pearl/lunar) Lv 80 rank using +9 and +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Tipsy Invitation (pearl/lunar) Lv 80 using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Before Sunrise (pearl/lunar) Lv 80 rank 3 using +12 and +15 SSR protocores

Companion: Rafayel's Abysswalker Weapon: Hunter Claymore Attribute Bonus For each matched stellactrum, increases DMG Boost 5.0% (currently increased: 30.0%) and DMG Reduction 5.0% (currently increased 30.0%). ♡ Affinity Bonus: 102 (Rafayel’s Protective Skill) When you take a fatal blow, Rafayel teleports to you, blocks a hit, and counter attacks. Enemies will be knocked back. [ HP 4000 || DEF 100 || ATK 200 ] Pair Bonus [AB] - Starting Effect: increases team DMG by 8%, reduces DMG taken by 8%, and increases Crit DMG of Deepsea Persuit by 30%.

5☆ Deep Sea Riches (violet/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 2 using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Deep Sea Promise (violet/solar) Lv 80/awakened using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Floral Promise (violet/lunar) Lv 80 using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Your Fragrance (violet/lunar) Lv 80 rank 2 using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Whispers (violet/lunar) Lv 80 using +15 SSR protocores

4☆ Ivory Nightfall (violet/lunar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +15 SSR protocores

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twisted-art-wounders · 3 months

Text

YGO AU: Breaking the Seal 16

Chapter 16 Eclipse

Yami Yugi sets out to face Raphael in a duel that will change everything between him and Yugi.

The night was quiet in the dessert; a dry wind blew across the landscape of sand and rock, in the RV Yugi and his friends were all fast asleep. Everyone had to find a less then comfortable spot in which to sleep; Joey, Tristan and Duke found spots next to the kitchenette area, while Rebecca slept at the bench near the dining table.

Tea and Yami Yugi sat in two chairs about a foot apart form each other, while Tea had fallen asleep relatively quickly Yami Yugi was wide wake. He sat in the dark his eyes closed and duel disk in his lap, finally opening his eyes he decided now was the time to leave. He got up silently and attached the duel disk to his arm. Rebecca had stured a bit opening her eyes slowly she saw Yami get up and head towards the door.

“Yugi...” she spoke softly making Yami stop and look back at her, he put his finger to his lips to 'shh' her before walking out of the RV.

Yami walked down the steps and headed towards Mai's Jeep; Mai was fast asleep in the back of her vehicle with a velvet eye mask on keeping her vision dark, she snored a lot louder then had Yami expected from her. This was perfect since his sights were set on her motorcycle that sat a few feet away from the Jeep with the matching red helmet sat on the drivers seat. Yami picked it up and put it on, he released the bike off it's kick stand making the bike stand up then started to walk away with it. Luckily for him it wasn't too heavy even in a neutral state so he quietly escorted the bike away from their camping site.

Yugi appeared in his ghostly form and watching Yami pilfer the bike, Yugi's expression wasn't very pleasant as he spoke.

//Other me! You can't steal Mai's bike! She's gonna be furious!//

//Partner, sometimes it's better to beg forgiveness then ask permission. Besides this is an emergency she'll understand.// Yami responded shrugging off his concerns.

//That's just it I'm not sure if she's really the most forgiving person...Besides we barely have experience on a motorcycle...// Yugi pouted a bit hoping Mai wasn't going to blow her top fully at them when this was all over...

//Yugi, this is the fastest way to get to Death Valley and we don't have moment to waste.// Yami instantiated //Besides the sooner we get there the sooner we can recover your soul...//

Yugi watched Yami as his voice went lower and under his breath he uttered to himself

“I wont be useless...”

Finally once they were far enough away from the campsite Yami mounted the bike as best he could and started the engine. As the motor roared to life he revved the engine a bit before he took off down the dirt road heading towards the direction Rebecca had pointed to earlier that night. Unannounced to the pair another pair of duelists Rex and Weevil were following behind them on an burnt out tandem bicycle. Below on a path that ran parallel the one Yami was on; Yami was picking up a lot more speed then they could really muster but the thought of getting their hands on the Orichalcos card kept them going at fast pace.

Mai was stured awake by the sounds of muffled yelling just outside of her Jeep, thanks to her eye mask she couldn't see right away. Pulling up one side and peering out she found the yelling to be coming from the RV. She grumbled pulling the eye mask off fully and hissed out.

“God, what now?” She sat up and reached for a bottle of water sitting in her cup holder and took a swig off of it to help combat the stickiness in her mouth.

She opened the door of her Jeep and got out ready to storm over the RV and ask why they were up at- 4 AM?! Causing god knows what kind of ruckus. Just as she started her walk she heard the sound of something behind her, spinning around she saw a shape was approaching the area something or someone was coming their way...

“Rebecca! How could you just let him take off like that!?” Joey barked at the younger blonde girl being held in Tea's arms.

“Joey come down! You would have done the same thing!” Tea scolded Joey.

“No, WE would have talked some sense into him!” Tristan answered back just as annoyed.

Joey was about to get ready to run out and go after Yugi when they all heard a frantic knock at the RV door. Duke had gone and opened it to find Mai was in the doorway, beside her holding onto her as best he could was Professor Hawkin's looking warn out and exhausted from his long walk back.

“Grandpa!” Rebecca shouted and raced to the door to grab her Grandfather who look relived to see she was safe.

“I found him outside...” Mai explained allowing the professor to be escorted into the back of the RV to rest.

“Professor, what happened? Are you okay?” Tea asked.

The older man sat down on a chair and looked up with worry “I'm going to fine with some rest...but where is Yugi?” He looked around not seeing him.

“He left in the middle of the night to go and find the dude who kidnapped you!” Joey said.

//Left? But how?// Mai asked to herself before stepping back outside and finally noticing her bike was missing causing her scream out.

“That thieving little-!”

As Yami drove along the rocky dirt road that ran along side a cliff face Yugi couldn't help but think about the events that had happened to him in last 3 days. From DOMA challenging him to duel and losing the god cards, encountering the powerful ancient evil magic of the Seal of Orichalcos which he somehow had the power to break. The monster in the sky that stole half of his soul, all these weird and horrible dreams his mind was giving him. He couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed but one thing seemed to be the centre of it...Dartz. He didn't even realize how much his trauma was effecting him until he met Dartz and started to experience all the nasty emotional whiplash all at once...

Then there was that 'dream' duel against Pegasus, only for it to be revealed it was real and he actually took his soul! Or maybe he didn't? Maybe DOMA was lying to try and hurt him? But then again what happened earlier with facing Joey whom he thought was Yami Marik...They seemed to have power over his captured soul and could make him think and do what they wanted...how could he trust himself at this point?

Yugi looked over to Yami as his eyes wavered a bit...he remembered his promise to Dartz about keeping their meetings a secret...But Yami was his partner and like he said he can't keep things from him forever. Yugi sighed and decided perhaps now would be a good time to explain to his other self about this man and maybe get his option on things.

//Uhh...Other Me...I have something I need to talk to you about...// Yugi spoke sheepishly drawing Yami's attention to him.

//Hm? What is it Partner?//

//Well...the last few nights I've been sleeping alot...and I-//

Suddenly Yami could feel the bike start to shake violently as it started to come very close to the edge of the cliff they were currently riding alongside. He panicked and tried to regain control over the bike to bring it back over to the wider road, he had just enough time to get control again and bring the bike back in the safe zone.

Yami panted harshly, some sweat running down his face from that scare they just had.

//I'm sorry Yugi, but I need to concentrate on the road right now, we can talk more after my duel with Raphael I promise!//

Yugi panted trying to calm his nerves, he knew full well what could happen if Yami lost control over the bike like that again and didn't want to risk it so he only said.

//Right! P-please pay attention to driving so we don't end up like road pizza...// Yugi gulped.

Yami only nodded keeping his eyes on the road doubling down on his efforts to stay focused.

//I'm gonna rest in my soul room for a bit, call for me once we've arrived okay?//

Yami only have a quick “huhm.”

Yugi then vanished from sight.

Joey, Tristan, Duke and Mai had gathered together in her Jeep; Mai already changing clothes to something less lax and more sporty. The Jeep roared to life while Tea stood beside the vehicle, Rebecca was inside helping her grandfather rest in his bed. After he explained that the blonde man known as Raphael had allowed him to leave a while ago, the group decided to go after Yugi in Mai's Jeep while Tea and Rebecca would stay behind with the Professor.

“I still don't get why we can't take my car.” Duke asked as he sat in the back with Tristan.

Joey was up front with Mai who answered his question flatly.

“You wanna drive an open top Cadillac in the middle of the desert and not a 4x4 all terrain Jeep... Do you know how crazy you said right now? ”

Duke only looked away a bit embarrassed to be called out like that, Joey leaned out of the window and called out to Tea.

“Tea, keep and eye on the Professor! We'll bring Yugi back in no time!”

“Will do, just be careful guys!” she said still a bit worried.

“And keep and eye out for Rex and Weevil...no telling what those two are up to.” Tristan added since no one had seen the likes of them for hours and while it was a bit of relief to not have to worry about them, it wasn't uncommon for them to be to no good.

Tea nodded as Mai started her Jeep driving off in same direction Yugi and Yami had already gone on.

//Good luck you guys...// She thought watching them disappear into the desert night.

Yugi found his way into his soul room...well what he hoped was his soul room since it all seemed to be covered in a thick fog. He looked from side to side and noticed the room was empty, even if it was just square room with four walls it somehow felt bigger? Endless even. This had to be a result of his soul fading away...it scared him just how much of himself was vanishing from this world.

Yugi started to walk and look around hoping to at least run into a wall maybe? That's when his foot stepped on something. He looked down and saw it was the deck of tarot cards Dartz gifted him a few days ago. Yugi knelt down and picked up the cards confused by the fact they seemed to be the only other object in his room besides himself...that's when he felt a pulse of energy come from the deck almost like it was a heart beat.

That's when Yugi remembered what Dartz told him about the cards.

“Keep them close to your heart, that way you know inside you will always hold the answers.”

Yugi pressed the cards to his chest and thought

//Maybe they'll give me the answers I need...//

He then sat himself on the ground and started to shuffle the cards. He's was going to give himself a basic three card reading just like Dartz had shown him before. While he didn't know exactly how to read tarot cards he could just remember what the outcome was and then ask Dartz to help interpret them again.

As he shuffled the cards he closed his eyes and tried to relax, all he had to do was concrete and ask the cards a question. But that was the problem. What question should he ask to get the answer he needed? What did he need to know in order to fix himself and save the world...

“Can I...trust Dartz?”

Yugi put the deck down and drew his first card that represented the past; 'The Star' well that was promising? he'd hoped. His second card the one in the present was 'The Hanged Man' but for some reason it was upside down...he was very confused by this and knew he'd have to ask why that happened...Finally the last card the one that foretold the future 'Judgment' Judgment for what?

Yugi groaned and fell backwards onto the what he thought was the ground and looked up to see just more fog! URGH!! Why was it so foggy!? Yugi held his head and kicked his feet accidentally spreading the rest of the cards in front of him as he did. He let out a frustrated scream into the foggy void before letting his body go limp.

Yugi continued to stare up into the endlessly foggy ceiling letting out an exhausted sigh before saying

“Can the universe please just give me a straight answer for once?”

He sniffled a bit and rested his hand on his forehead trying to fight some tears that fell from sides of his eyes then ran down his face.

“I feel more lost then ever...”

Yugi closed his eyes and started to breath in and out slowly hoping this would help him calm down more. He then felt the warmth of a bright light shining above him, Yugi opened his eyes slowly as he saw this brilliant bright green light floating above him in the shape of a star in the sky.

“The Star...” Yugi said as his eyes became transfixed on the light he could hear a voice...someone or something was calling to him.

In his mind he again thought back to something Dartz had recently told him

“If you ever feel lost Yugi, the light will guild you back home...”

“Home...”

Yugi's voice was just as entranced by the light as his eyes started to glow in the same green energy. Yugi's body slowly stood up, he kept his eyes on the light as he started to walk towards it reaching out a hand to grasp it's light.

“There's no place like-”

Suddenly he felt the ground shift under his feet rocking him back and forth a few times waking him from the trance as the air around him became warm? Yugi blinked shaking his head he saw the whole room had changed to just an endless desert. He looked around and saw nothing but dunes of sand all around him. A hot wind blowing past his face and sending more sand into his eyes forcing him to cover them.

Before Yugi could say a word he felt the ground below change into a swirling vortex opening up under him. He barely had a chance to jump away before he felt his legs start to sink into the vortex. He gasped as he fell onto his knees, the sand was pulling him down and sinking him deeper into the ever widening hole that grew to be the size of a large pool in seconds.

“Urgh! What's going on!?”

Yugi grunted as he tried to get hold of something, anything! But all around him was more sand that only slipped through his fingers giving him no friction to try and pull himself away. He felt the walls of sand started to close around him pulling him down harder. Yugi looked down and nearly chocked when he saw in the center of this sinking hole looked to be the eye of Wadjt. The same eye that was on his Millennium Puzzle in fact this very thing was his Millennium Puzzle! A gigantic version of it at least 10 times bigger then himself, making it half the size of real pyramid. It rose up from the center of the sink hole, as the center eye was glowing a bright golden light like it always did but this time the power coming out of it was controlling the sand around him. Making waves of cascading sand flow and fall downwards like a water fall below.

“No! Why are you doing this again!? Stop it let me go!”

Yugi was scared and even more confused as the why this was happening to him again?! Why was the puzzle trying to hurt him? Looking down at his chest he saw his puzzle was also glowing. Then suddenly he felt the chain around his neck loosen and break causing the puzzle to drop from his neck and sink into the sand below.

“No!”

Yugi screamed and tried to reach down for it but it only sank deeper heading towards the center where the giant puzzle rested. Suddenly the newly broken chain shot up and warp itself around his wrist. He gasped as he felt another chain grab his other wrist and pull him down with it.

“ARGH! Stop let go!”

Yugi struggled trying to pull against the chains while also fighting the sand that kept caving in around him. He started to sink into the sandy vortex, like something caught in a draining sink heading towards the dark abyss. Yugi tried desperately free himself but it was no use he couldn't fight the chains or the sand he was completely out matched.

“No please! Stop stop it! Other Me, Help!”

Yugi screamed trying to reach out hoping someone-anyone would reach down and pull him out, but the chains were too strong they kept his arms down and continued to drag him below.

Again Dartz's words rang through his mind...

“Chains are very strong and good at keeping the things we love bond and safe...but we can become so entangled in them we don't realize those same chains can and will drag us down if we are not careful...”

Yugi's eyes widened as he felt his heart break the sand finally reached around his neck before fully pulling his head under. The green glowing light above was gone and soon the enclosing darkness was all he could see. He slowly closed his eyes as he couldn't breath anymore and started to surcome to his fate.

“...Yugi...” a voice whispered to him.

“...Yugi! ” it spoke again closer this time...who was-

“Partner!” Yami called out making Yugi snap awake quickly.

//AGHHH!!!// Yugi yelled out making Yami jump a bit.

“Yugi! What's wrong?” Yami looked at his partner with worry in his eyes.

Yugi was panting and shaken as he looked to see he was back in the real world again, just outside of his body with Yami Yugi in control. Yami sat on the motorcycle which had stopped on top of a large cliff, looking down below into a canon and with a giant flat rock island.

//I... it was...a dream?// Yugi tried to calm himself down once he saw he wasn't in danger anymore; his puzzle was back around his neck as usual, the chain still intact and not around his wrists like in his...dream? Was it a dream? Wasn't he just in his mind? What-

“Yugi?” Yami asked again waiting for an response.

//Uh! Oh sorry! I just...// Yugi held his head then rubbed his face up then down before letting it go.

//Sorry I had a nightmare...//

“A nightmare?” Yami wanted to press more only for Yugi to give him a small smile.

//Y-yeah I'm alright! Let's just move on okay, are we here?// Yugi tried to quickly change the subject.

“Yes...” Yami looked down now at the rock island below there was a figure, Raphael was waiting for him to arrive.

Raphael stood in the center of the rock island arms crossed and waiting for the Pharaoh to arrive, he looked down at his deck and placed a hand over it. He could feel the power from his monsters beating like a heart in his hands, the aura of his main monster Guardian Eatos took the form of hawk that spread it's wings around him holding him closely.

//It's almost time...//

He thought before looking up and hearing the roar of a motorcycle pull up at the top of the cliff above him. Yami revved the engine of the motorcycle again as he backed it up a little, Yugi was about to ask how they could climb down the cliff face safely only for Yami to drive the bike off the cliff ledge and ride it down towards the bottom of the ravine skidding to a stop just in front of a rope bridge that lead to the lone island. Removing his helmet and placing it on the seat of the bike as he dismounted it.

Yugi on the other hand felt his heart in his throat and was certain they were about to die from that stunt, only for Yami to act so nonchalantly about the whole experience and walk away like nothing happened.

Yugi felt his face turn red in anger as he shouted

“What was that about!? We could have been killed!”

“It was the fastest way down.” Yami said flatly heading towards the rope bridge.

//Falling would have been just as fast... //Yugi grumbled under his breath as he watched Yami cross the rope bridge and stand face to face against the towering Raphael who looked as strong and stoic as ever.

“Glad you finally made it, Yugi.” Raphael smirked slightly.

“I held up my end of the deal! Now release Professor Hawkins!” Yami shouted.

“He's already been set free. He should have reached back home by now. But you on the other hand...”

Raphael quickly discarded his long purple over coat to the side before bending down and picking up a pair of axes at each of his sides. In one quick motion he threw the axes at Yami who barely had time to react as the blades blew past his face, quickly hitting the poles of the rope bridge behind him causing the bridge to collapse effectively trapping them both on this lone rock.

Yami glared back at Raphael who continued

“Wont be escaping our fated duel. I have to admit I'm honoured to fight you as true duelist Yugi Muto...”

Yami grinned closing his eyes for moment “Don't make me laugh. You call yourself a true duelist?” he opened his eyes and growled at him “A true duelist would never use Duel Monsters for evil!”

“Hmph! You think We're evil? Alright let me ask you then, what is justice to you? We all believe in different things, we all have our own sense of justice. Is DOMA's path evil or good? That will be up to history to decide wont it? ”

Raphael watched Yami Yugi who answered.

“DOMA's path is evil and as long as you follow them you're already on the path of devastation! Your sense of 'justice' is skewed and I plan on proving you wrong in this duel!” Yami narrowed his eyes at the blonde man.

“But I have two conditions; One: When I win you will release my partner's soul from the shard of Orichalcos you're carrying it in, That's right I know you've been using that stone to control him!”

Yami pulled out the stone necklace he was wearing and showed it to Raphael.

“Two: You wont use his soul like some kind of puppet like you did back at Industrial Illusions! Keep his soul out of this, Got it!?”

Raphael grinned and closed his eyes “Fine, but from where I stand the only one whose 'puppeting' him around is you. But you did pick a strong vessel I'll give you that.”

That comment made Yami Yugi glare and fume even harder, he certainly was more fired up then ever to not only prove this man wrong but get his partner back.

Raphael opened his eyes again and looked directly towards Yugi.

“If I may address your vessel for moment?”

He asked making Yami hiss a bit. Yugi himself then appeared in his ghostly form beside the Pharaoh, Yami shot a quick look to his side eye and saw Yugi nod so he responded

“We're listening.”

Raphael rolled his eyes a bit at his response before continuing

“Vessel- no I wont disrespect you like that, you're more then just his vessel. I'll call you by your real name- Yugi. I've watched you duel on your own twice now and I have to say I was wrong about you. I thought of you as just a weakling who needed the Pharaoh's help at a moments notice. This is why we singled you out at first, but then I saw you do the one thing I've never seen anyone do...You broke the Seal of Orichaolcos not once but twice. The purity you carry inside of you is remarkable to say the least.”

Yugi listened quite intently to his comment he didn't realize just how impressive breaking the seal really was...purity? He was that pure of heart?

“You are a rare gem that exists in this tainted world, one of the very few humans who can wield such power without corruption...This is why I can tell you with confidence, you don't need him to be strong. You have strength of you're own and you should be proud of that. Don't let him corrupt you, Yugi.”

Raphael kept his gaze on Yugi as the sun started to raise up before them. Yugi's eyes widened; corrupt him? What did he mean by that? Yami's eyes narrowed into dangers, he was beyond enraged by his comment.

“Enough! I'll show you my justice, Raphael!” Yami yelled as he activated his duel disk, Raphael doing the same as they both yelled out.

“Duel!”

As the duel began Yami and Yugi both felt a powerful aura that surrounded Raphael, his intensity as a duelist just increased 10 fold. Both Yugi and Yami were shocked to feel this kind of power coming from the man, Yugi warned Yami to be careful Raphael wasn't an ordinary duelist...And he certainly wasn't a push over in the slightest. He manged to active 'Guardian Treasure' and by discarding five cards he could draw two cards and with every turn from then on. At first Yami was confused as to why he would do that, toss out his whole hand just to increase his draw...then it hit him he wanted the Seal of Orichalcos!

Yami was impressed with Raphael's Guardian deck all his monsters worked together to protect each other and their duelist from danger. The cards of Guardian Grarl and Backup Gardna on his duel disk were warn out to the point they looked like they would fall apart. Raphael explained while the backings were replaced so the cards wouldn't be marked, he'd never part with these cards.

Raphael had gone onto to explain about how his life was torn apart by the tragic loss of his whole family on a cruise ship that sank into the ocean. He was the only survivor who washed up on a deserted island. While he was devastated by the loss the only thing that kept him going was the thought of his family still being alive waiting for him. And of course the help of his monsters who kept him company and protected him for the three years he spent trapped on that island.

Never speaking to anyone and only having his cards as his family, he one day saw an island out in the middle of the sea. He sailed to it only to be pulled into the ocean by the waves, as he sank into the sea he saw a powerful light that revealed an ancient city below him, then he heard a voice calling to him.

“The boy who commands Duel Monsters... Return to me when you learn everything.”

He was soon recused and returned to society only to find out his entire family really was lost at sea, the only thing of them left were grave stones with their names on them. He then discovered the rest of his relatives took his father's inheritance and used him only for publicly. Walking the streets alone he wondered why did he return to this horrible world? Why was he the only one to survive? That's when he knew the only way to answer destiny is to accept it no matter where it may lead. That is what did that day when he joined DOMA to answer his destiny.

Yugi listened to his story and felt a great deal of empathy for him; Yugi knew what it felt like to be alone...but to lose everyone you hold dear and to be trapped alone for so long. Only to come back to a world of cruel people with no friends or family to support you. It must have been devastating for him no wonder he turned to DOMA if he felt this lost...just like Yugi was feeling lost too. Is Raphael right? Is DOMA really evil...or-

Yami on the other hand while he could see Raphael was in pain recalling his past, even seeing tears roll down his cheeks as he asked him why he was left alone in a cruel world. He still couldn't bring himself to agree with the man, he knew DOMA was evil and that was that! No amount of sympathetic back story was going to change his mind, this man was evil and he had to stop him to win Yugi's soul back.

“I almost pity you Pharaoh...We're a lot alike you and I, Destiny played us both and now it has pitted us against each other but only one of us will come out of this with their soul.” Raphael said.

“I don't intend to lose this fight!” Yami yelled back.

“Neither do I. One last thing Pharaoh. I don't plan of playing my Seal of Orochalcos in this duel.”

Yami was shocked he was sure this is what Raphael wanted form the start, the get to use the Seal of Orichalcos faster, but now he says he wont use it at all...

“I don't need that card to defeat you.” He finished saying.

As their duel continued Rex and Weevil finally arrived and tumbled down the cliff together landing just at the bottom, they decided to hunker down a bit and watch the duel hoping for an opening they could use to get the blonde man from DOMA to let them join him.

Yami had his back against the ropes; Raphael truly was a powerful duelist he managed to have him on his toes with each move. But now the tables would turn since he finally drew his Timeaus card and merging it with Dark Magician Girl he made Dark Magician Girl the Dragon Knight. He'd made a promise to her not only to save the two worlds but to save Yugi as well and he wasn't going to let either of them down. With their combined power Yami managed to send Guardian Grawl to the graveyard.

Raphael stood in shock this was the one thing he was afraid of...Timeaus' power would give Yami the edge he needed to get ahead but Raphael was prepared and wasn't going to go down as easily as Yami had hoped. Using 'Self Tribute' he managed to keep his monster out of the graveyard thus keeping his continuous spell “Purity of the Cemetery' in effect which was already chewing away parts of Yami's Life Points due to it's effect.

“Nameless Pharaoh do you know why I'll never lose to you? It's because we at DOMA have a strength you lack. The strength to admit we have darkness in our hearts.”

“How exactly is that a strength Raphael?”

“Just as there is light inside of our hearts there also exists darkness, just like the balance of scales the world has both darkness and light. If you are bond by the light in your heart then DOMA is bond by the darkness in our hearts. ” Raphael touched the shard of Orichalcos that hung around his neck and continued

“Yes, the darkness we share is the abyss of despair, its an abyss so deep that you can't see it with your self-righteous sense of justice. Our greatest burden in this world is despair and sadness...”

“You're wrong! What can you achieve with nothing but revenge and destruction? All there will be left is emptiness! ” Yami shouted making Raphael chuckle.

“That's the point, If I act halfheartedly only emptiness will be left...but what if there is no emptiness? DOMA's true goal is nothingness! To return history to zero, wipe everything out and start over again from scratch!”

“What!?” Yami shouted confused.

“DOMA has existed from the start of civilization to lead mankind on the path they should follow, supporting culture or using cruel tactics to guide history. But time and time again humans repeated the same mistakes for millennia, not knowing their place in the world. Humans are meant to be the guardians and protect this world, this is why we were granted wisdom! But look- ” He gestured behind him to see the dead land that surrounded them.

“Beyond the horizon, selfish people are ruining this world and shedding unnecessary blood, pain and sorrow, this is all humanity has managed to create in all this time we've spent on this world...they've gone beyond what DOMA imagined and will soon destroy the world! And so DOMA's changed it's goal. Now it's time to finally put an end to it once and for all, by resetting history.”

Yugi listened and realized this is exactly what Pegasus told them earlier about DOMA, leading the world secretly guiding human history...and now their goal was to reset the world...using that giant monster!

“You- you can't do that! It's insane!” Yami shouted “You don't get to make that choice for yourself!”

“It's not our choice...it's DOMA's leader's decision. The one who ruled and brought paradise to this world once and he will do it again...” Raphael placed a hand over his chest and looked towards the sky.

“Then you're leader is just as delusional as you!” Yami growled.

Raphael chuckled again closing his eyes “I think I get it now...”

“Get what?” Yami shouted annoyed.

“Why you're so desperate to get his soul back...he's your counter balance.”

“...What?”

“Think about it, just like everyone you have darkness in your heart, but your soul was sealed away for millennia, did you ever wonder why that was? Or what kind of Pharaoh you really were? Can you say you really were a righteous king?”

Yami stayed silent as he thought back to what he saw in Battle City; when he and Kaiba had a vision of their past and how the entire kingdom was seen in ruin and darkness...did he cause that devastation?

“Perhaps you were sealed away for the evil you carry inside of you...and now you've returned but in the body of one of the most purist souls, the only soul that has managed to break through the darkness...the only soul pure enough to keep your evil in check?”

Yugi appeared again and took Yami's shoulder //Don't listen to him! He's just trying to upset you...//

Yami closed his eyes and gripped his fists tightly “That's not true! I know I was a worthy Pharaoh! A righteous one! I stopped the darkness! And I'll do it again!”

Raphael grinned as he knew he was finally starting to aggravate him enough for his plan to finally work.

“Then prove there is light inside of you're heart...”

The duel continued and Raphael drew two cards from his deck, placing one face down before activating his set card 'Exchange' normally they'd both have to pick of card from each other's hand but since they both only had one card each they would just swap cards. Yami was annoyed enough and now he had to swap cards with this maniac? Lovely, he rolled his eyes.

As they walked up to each other Yami handed his card to Raphael “Necromancy.” he said before commenting this card wouldn't have helped him anyway since Raph had no monsters in his graveyard for Yami to summon. Yami just huffed and demanded he hand over his card already, impatiently holding out his hand. This made Raph grin again as he simply handed the card over saying

“Take you're card of destiny, Pharaoh.”

Yami took the card swiftly before turning around and walking back to his side //What did he man 'Take my card of destiny?'// Yami thought as he finally looked down at the card in his hand and froze.

“N-no...why would you give this to me?”

It was the Seal of Orichalcos...the very card Raphael told him he would not play in this duel and now he held it in his hands...

“I know you have a piece of the Orichalcos you took off Gurimo around you're neck...”

Yami looked down and saw the stone necklace had started to glow a little bit making him grab it and hold it tightly trying in vain to hide it.

“It's time for you to finally prove yourself to me Nameless Pharaoh! If you truly believe you can rely on the light inside of you then you can play that card as effectively as Yugi did. Prove to me you don't need him to conquer the darkness within yourself!”

Yami looked at the card again only for Yugi to pop up and shout //Stop! Whatever you do don't play that card!//

//Yugi.//

//You saw what that card did to me! You can't fall to it's evil!//

Yami gave a small smile to him //Don't worry partner, I can win without using that card.//

As Joey, Mai, Tristan and Duke drove along, Joey asked if she knew where she was going since they weren't using a map right now.

“Are you sure you're not getting us lost? I mean we don't even have a map!” Joey asked

“Will you relax I know where I'm going! ”Mai growled pointing to her phone on the dash board, there was a blinking light on the screen following a tiny map.

“That is the tracker on my bike, wherever Yugi took it my tracker will find it and we'll find him!”

“You have a tracker for you're bike?” Tristan asked making Mai nod.

“Obviously! I'm not letting a bike that hot go missing without anyway to find it again, you know how many bike thieves are around these days?”

//Also I don't think I'd forgive myself if I let something happen to Yugi...He may be a thieving brat right now but he's still my responsibly...//

Mai narrowed her eyes before checking her map again and pressed on the gas forcing everyone back a bit in their seats as they drove over higher rocks and rougher terrain. Duke held on the seat as he felt them all go over a particularly larger rock and land back down hard.

“Okay you were totally right taking a 4x4 is better then a Cadi...I think we would have fallen out if we used my car...”

“And this is why you trust the adult~” Mai hummed and they continued on.

Dark Magician Girl the Dragon Knight was trapped in the 'Crystal Seal' Trap Raphael had activated, Yami took a direct attack from Guardian Kayest dropping his Life Points down even more. He knew the only way to free Dark Magician Girl was for her attack points to change...he could do that is he played-

//Other me calm down! We can get through this!// Yugi was begging him at this point to keep his head on straight.

Yami shock his head and and nodded to Yugi //I know Yugi! I'm trying but we're in a real pinch here!// Yami drew which caused him to lose another 600LP thanks to 'Purity of the Cemetery'.

“So we're finally down to wire, if you can't make a comeback in this turn you're going to lose next round due to 'Purity of the Cemetery's' effect, and your only strong monster is still trapped in the 'Crystal Seal'. Now you could change the outcome if you played the Seal of Orichalcos but then again you'd be overwhelmed by the darkness inside of your heart...unless I'm wrong and you really do have the purity necessary to wield that card.” Raphael folded his arms and watched with a smirk.

“So make your final move.”

Yami thought about his promise to Dark Magician Girl and his partner, using that thought he gained the power to draw getting 'Card of Sanctity' and drew a whole new five cards, while Raphael also drew a new hand stating it was a hopeless endeavour for him at this point. Disappointingly Yami had nothing in his hand that could save him, he could feel the power of the Orichcocls stone around his neck glowing again this time more brightly as he looked at the card in his hand...

//This may be my only chance...// His hand shakily reached for the seal and pulled it from his hand ready to active it only to feel his arm being pulled against, he looked over to see it was Yugi holding onto him for dear life.

//Yugi! Let go of me!// He yelled.

//Stop it! Can't you see this is exactly what he wants!?//

//We are going to lose! Don't you see this is my only chance!//

//Your only chance?! What are you even talking about! Are you even hearing yourself?!//

//...Yugi I-//

//URGH! Will you just listen to me for once!? I'm telling you he's-//

Yami finally snapped “BE QUIET!”

Yugi's mouth shut instantly as he lost the grip he had on Yami's arm, his eyes were wide in fear from his voice.

//Other me...you-//

Yami snapped his head towards Yugi glaring at him with anger and frustration.

“I told you to be quiet! I don't need you to act like an angel on my shoulder telling me what's right and wrong I can think for myself!”

“This is my fight! This is my justice! My beliefs are on the line! And I don't need you butting into everything I do! Do you hear me!? Be quiet and stay out of this!” Yami then pulled his arm away from Yugi pushing him away and onto the ground in the process.

Yugi was speechless, he couldn't believe his other self had just spoken to him like that...

//Other Me...// he meekly whimpered out.

“I DONT NEED YOU!”

Yami scream at Yugi just before he glared at Raphael and said “I'll show you my power! I play the Seal of Orichalcos!”

With that declaration the side slot on his duel disk opened up and he placed the card inside, the activation sound chimed out as Yami watched the stone around his neck start to glow brightly and overtake him. He yelled out as the green energy burst out of his body, below his feet the circle of the Orichalcos appeared and grew out pushing Yugi away and out in a powerful energy blast.

Yugi screamed as he felt his whole body vanish from the duel; a pillar of green energy shot up into the sky, as both Yami and Rapheal were encased in the seal's power. Not to far away Mai, Joey, Tristan and Duke could all see the pillar of light coming from not too far away. They followed the pillar hoping they weren't too late to try and save Yugi. Rex and Weevil had both watched Yami Yugi active the card and had to cover their eyes due to the intensity of the light.

As the light subsisted inside stood Yami Yugi and on his forehead the glowing symbol of the Orichalcos appeared, his eyes had a hint of reddish pink in the corners and dark scowl on his lips as he glared at Raphael, who only grinned before asking

“So...how do you feel?”

#yugi #yugi mutou #yami yugi #raphael #breaking the seal #au #waking the dragons #yugioh #yugioh dm #fan art #fan fic

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thewildchild13915 · 2 years

Text

Sibling grief is weird.

With sibling grief you're grieving more than just the loss of your sibling.

You're grieving the life you had before you lost your sibling.

You're grieving the loss of who your parents were before your sibling died

You're grieving the loss of the future you'd prepared for

You're grieving the loss of the family unit as you'd known it

You're grieving the loss of who you were before they died

You're grieving the loss of your best friend

Before my brother died, I had plans for how the future would be. Family holidays with our kids, major life events being celebrated together, family vacations, so many memories to be made.

All of those were lost when he died. An entire future full of plans just.... Gone.

Finished.

Now I'm only left with the haunting visions of watching him go, with the sounds of our parents sobbing and begging for this to not be happening, with hearing the love of his life begging for more time and promising to make the rest of his life everything we'd always dreamed for him, with remembering both the feeling of his warm hands AND the feeling of his lifeless, cold hands.

Before my brother died, our parents were mostly happy.

Parents change after the loss of a child, regardless of the age of said child. That change can go 1 of 2 ways and it is usually to the extreme of whichever way they go.

Way 1: they're going to be extremely clingy with their remaining child(ren). They will want them close.

Way 2: they're going to become extremely distant with their remaining child (ren).

My mom quietly went with way 1. She tries to not show it, but I know it. She still has her moments where she's distant, but she won't even entrain the idea of us being far away from her. She wants all of us near her.

My dad went with way 2. I've always felt like my dad absolutely hated me. There was no proud father moment when I got married, no "you look beautiful" comments, or any heart touching moments really. It's always been he was there, but quietly wondering how quickly he could leave. Sure there were moments when he really came through and made me feel like he cared. I can't say there weren't ANY.

But after losing my brother, I feel like I completely lost my dad. He barely acknowledges I'm there, he flat out ignores me when I say "I love you", but he will say it to everyone around me, he doesn't even try to hide the fact that he does NOT want to be wherever I am. In my heart I feel that he believes the wrong child died and that it should've been me. I have never felt like more of a burden than I do now.

Before my brother died, my mom always told us "nurture your relationship with each other because when your dad and I are gone, you're only going to have each other". That was the future I'd prepared for. Now, when my parents are gone I will be alone. I'll have no one to grieve that loss with. Our future was supposed to be long and fruitful, with so many memories to be made... I was not prepared for the future I'm going to have.

Before my brother died, we were a family of 4. He was my big brother. Sure our family expanded as we got older. We had significant others and kids, but our family unit was 4. Now, it's only 3.

I'm no longer the little sister.

I'm the surviving sister.

Before my brother died, I was happy. Sure I dealt with some mental health issues, but he always helped to keep my grounded. He was who I called when I felt like I was losing my grip. He was my rock. He was my best friend. He always made sure I was ok, that his nieces and nephews were ok, that everyone had what they needed. He was my go-to person for everything.

I used to get so irritated because he'd always call me when bad weather was moving in. He'd give me all these instructions on things I needed to do to be prepared, he'd make sure I was making sure the kids had everything they needed.. it could be so exhausting sometimes.

God how I miss those phone calls.

Now that he's gone I find myself riddled with anxiety and anger. I have no idea who I am anymore because I do not feel like me anymore. I feel like a part of me went with him. The strong part went with him.

Now that he's gone I feel so alone, even with the rest of my family right beside me.

I try to grieve quietly. I try to do it alone as much as possible so that it doesn't make those around me sad.

Sibling grief is weird..

It's lonely

Unless you are the surviving sibling, you could never understand.

#coping with grief #dealing with grief #grief #griefandloss #grieving #it's okay to grieve #sibling loss #siblings #brother #covid 19 #grief journal #grief/mourning #stages of grief #i am alone #sibling death tw #big brother #surviving

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scribeforchrist-blog · 16 days

Text

Sin Comes With Barriers

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ John 8:47 Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

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VERSE OF THE DAY

+ Joshua 1:5 No man shall be able to stand before you all day of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.

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SUBJECT: Sin Comes With Barriers

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM HONEST

I AM FILLED JOY

I AM LOVING

I AM SINFUL BUT SAVED

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READ TIME: 8 Mintues & 10 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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We all have fallen short of the glory of God. I can say I have, and sometimes it might feel that God has given or will give up on us, but he won't; it might feel like we are missing the point every time, and I can understand why it will feel this way because we keep thinking how many more times or how many chances can he give me if I keep dropping the ball, I have felt this so many time and each time I have went to him face full of water begging him to stay because we never know when he will leave. Still, His word says that he’ll never leave or forsake us.

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for he has said, I will never leave or abandon you.

In the CSB version, it says he’ll never leave us or abandon us; a lot of us have abandonment issues, and to even think of another person leaving our lives is a lot, and God wants us to know in this verse and long with a lot more that this is not what he would do ,as many times we come to him for forgiveness he will forgive us it might not feel that way but what we are feeling is the guilt of our sins barring down upon us.

•Deuteronomy 1:8: It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, not leave or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed

• Joshua 1:5 No man shall be able to stand before you all day of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.

• Isaiah 41:17 When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them

He says throughout all the verses I won't forsake you; I won't leave, a lot of times, we might feel we need to leave or that we shouldn’t bother trying again, but each time we go back and try, we need to give God all we have and say God I need your strength because of course we can't do this alone, of course, we can't accomplish any of these things.

Still, with Him, we can conquer so much because we give him everything; he's not trying to make us feel any kind of way but better, and sometimes, with as many times we have been to him, it just feels like I won't ever get it right. I understand this; trust me, I have been in this place of feeling; why do I struggle with this? When we give our souls to God and fast and pray, we can get the power to let go of this problem.

1 John 1:10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us.

If anyone says they don’t struggle with something or never have, they are lying , but we must be honest about our sins. We must understand that the sin we carry is something we must say we need help with; if we are in denial about what we do and how we handle things, we can't see the end of the tunnel. I know it is hard to admit, and I know it is hard to come to terms with whatever it is, but the best thing we can do is be truthful with God and say, God, this is what I'm dealing with. Please help me, and he will, but we have to start with honesty within ourselves.

•1 John 1:8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

•1 John 2:4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him

Is the truth in us? A lot of times, it is not because we try to make ourselves feel better by denying what we are feeling; we must understand sin can deceive us into thinking we are not wrong with what we are doing and what we are doing is okay and sin isn’t okay sin separates us from a God, a lot of times we feel it’s just this or an itty bit of this. Still, sin can ruin our lives; look at King Saul and Cain. So many others felt and did things that led them down a road they didn’t know they could walk on and they lost so much because of it.

God doesn’t want us to feel shame to the point we don’t come to him, but he wants us to come to him and talk about everything so that he can change the way we look at things. We see sin as small and significant, but God sees it as taking us away, and that’s what the enemy wants to do: take us away from God so that we won’t spend time with him or spend time with worship. Still, the moment we see sin as what it is, we will choose God over sin; that’s basically what we do. When we do sin, we are picking it over God. Does God have more weight in your life than what our bodies and minds want to do?

***Today, we talked about how everyone sins. We often sin, and we don’t see sin as something terrible, but we will try to do it less when we look at what it does in our lives. One of the most essential things sin does is create a barrier between us and God; it also opens the door for other spirits to come into our lives.

Isaiah 59:2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear.

We can’t hear God when we sin. We sometimes wonder why we can’t hear him or if he hears us, but he does hear us; we just can’t hear him because it creates a barrier, and the only way to break this barrier is to renounce the sin we have in our life and not commit it.

I tell everyone who is struggling with sin, especially something we can’t seem to stop doing ,we must fast; fasting is showing God , yes, I have this problem, but you're bigger than my problems, please help me, it showing God I don’t want to eat until I have established a plan with you ,God wants us trying every day to see him to be with him to spend time with him. Still, sin makes us feel we are better without him, and we aren’t today; ask the Holy Spirit to help you with your sins and to help you release what you can’t stand against. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything we ask to help us conquer sin in our lives. Lord, we need you so badly to help us renounce the sin in our lives so we can serve you; Lord, we desire to worship and spend time with you. we open up our hearts to you to teach us how to be more like you and to imitate you and all that we do, Lord; we love you, and we thank you and praise your holy name, for today we give you honor and glory in Jesus' name amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Isaiah 58:4 You fast with contention and strife to strike viciously with your fist. You cannot fast as you do today and have your voice be heard on high.

+Micah 5:3 They will cry out to the LORD, but He will not answer them. At that time, He will hide His face from them because of the evil they have done.

+ Deuteronomy 32:20 And he said, I will hide my face from them, I will see what their end shall be: for they are a very forward generation, children in whom is no faith

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