#good at it as you used to be? esp bc as an adult you don’t have built in music programs to join? for free?

[milimeters-morales]

(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.

[mildmayfoxe]

i had a bad dream (a fine dream that put me in a bad mood when i woke up) about being at some kind of music performance/recognition ceremony and people kept asking why i was there because i wasn’t playing and i had to be like “i dunno” and then at the end i found a pamphlet that had a big “recognition of musical excellence” section that had my name and a specific performance i was part of listed and i was like “hey that’s why :)” and showed it to some people incl this one person who kept flirting with me who was suitably impressed and then somehow within just a couple minutes i lost the pamphlet and the person with the bag of them was like “yeah i don’t have any more” so then i didn’t have any more proof that i was supposed to be there. and then i woke up

[hijinxinprogress]

The JL finds out Captain Marvels identity and regrets it immensely

JL find out Captain Marvels a child and they start trying to parent him and just being awkward so it’s decided that Captain Marvel will join YJ (Clark started referring to Billy only as ‘son’ and ‘young man’ one time Billy saw an airplane and Clark leaned down and went “That there, son, is called an airplane and it-” “I’ll fucking stab you istg”)

To the public Captain Marvel is just extra supervision for YJ but the hero community knows it’s a way to discretely move Captain Marvel onto a team with people his age and be ‘safer’

But it doesn’t work out the way they want bc Billy’s a chaos gremlin much like YJ so they’re just doing dumb shit in the public eye bc they technically have ‘adult supervision’ (it takes Billy fifteen minutes to convince yj to go against being supervised by green lanterns)

“We’re literally your coworkers??” “I’ve literally never seen you before besides isn’t it illegal for cops to question a minor without their guardian present? 🤨” “Technically, he’s not their coworker bc he’s not in the jl anymore” “Kon” “What? I’m just saying!” “Stfu wait does Marvel even have a guardian??” “He doesn’t”

Anita and Billy are trading magic tips and teaching each other spells they should NOT have access to esp bc they’ve blown up thirteen city blocks and 1/4 of almost every planet they’ve visited with YJ

Cassie and Billy play high stakes games of catch above the earths atmosphere with missiles and shit in their free time and also during missions

Kon and Billy do just plain dumb shit they have no business doing and then playing up the ‘I’m just a baby…and I’m not even really human/I didn’t have a childhood so how would I know that I shouldn’t do that?’ excuse after bankrupting Luthor for the third time this month along with demolishing all of his newly renovated buildings (Which he and Greta repurposed to create low income housing and food pantries)

Cissie invites Marvel to all her Olympic events and he shows up to every single one with an obnoxiously large magical banner

Bart and Billy plan quips, one liners, and trash talk together and everyone hates it bc they only use the good ones on them but villains (along with everyone in their immediate vicinity) are subjected exclusively to shit like “nuh uh” and “make me”

Greta and Billy are taking down shady government operations with zero fucks to give (they had houses built for the people affected but they did also send a very long list of people to the hospital/morgue)

Billy makes Tim a magic skateboard that flies at like Mach 1 with so many magic cameras it’s concerning bc he thinks Tim being unhinged is funny especially it inconveniences or at least stresses out batman

But they’re mostly talking about what lies they’ve told the jl recently so they can plan their lies around each other “I lied to batman yesterday so you gotta back me up” and Tim’s fabricating evidence despite having no other information bc Billy will 100% “Aren’t you a so called ‘ethical’ billionaire? Nonono it’s whatever, I just thought you’d want to look out for the people but-”

And JL tries to lecture Billy about it ‘you should be more mature. I expected better’ and he’s just like ‘why?? I’m baby 🥺 I don’t know any better’ 

And Green Arrow’s so goddamn confused bc ‘Bro?? I’ve watched you do negotiations when Superman’s not available…’ ‘I’m just a little guy’ ‘I’VE WATCHED YOU STOP A WHOLE ASS INVASION IN TEN MINUTES’ ‘little baby man’ ‘But you’re one of the strongest members of the league???’ ‘You do know I couldn’t tie my own shoes like six years ago, right?’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU’ ‘Wouldn’t you like to know’

YJ and Billy just do a bunch of petty shit until JL has had enough and they’re like fine whatever it wasn’t a problem before

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: Steve has a good relationship with his parents & when they come back from wherever & someone (Nancy/Robin) tells them about the UD & his parents react by calling out every single adult involved. Maybe he got badly hurt, & they were called in & upon finding out they call out Joyce, Hop, Owens & Murray for the way no adult inthese kids lives had any clue about what their kids were going through. Nor were their parents given notice esp bc having underaged kids sign NDAs is not legal nor legally binfing (Maybe all the parents of the party kids are there and get all the info just like the Harrington's)

MY DARLING! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! HONESTLY this one hit different. You know how much I love making Steve suffer and when he has good parents, a lot of his suffering disappears. But it was nice to branch out a bit. Also finally some common sense! KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE SIGNING AN NDA THEMS THE FACTS! Steve's parents are here to fight for everyone so WELCOME TO THE CHAOS OF STEVE'S OVERPROTECTIVE LAWYER PARENTS! - Mickala ❤️

--------------------------------------------------

Steve Harrington had managed to avoid the hospital for years. Not because he shouldn’t have gone, but because he refused to go.

But this time, he was unconscious, which means he didn’t have a choice.

And now, staring at his parents’ shocked and appalled faces next to his bed, he realized he wished he’d just died, actually.

“This happens…often?” Anne Harrington asked Dr. Owens, who looked like he wished he was also dead.

“It does happen more often than we like. But it appears to be fixed now! Steven has been a wonderful asset to us, which is why we want to make sure he is comfortable and all his medical expenses are paid.”

He handled that well, Steve thought.

“And this is the first time anyone has bothered to call us?” Richard Harrington asked much too quietly.

That was his ‘I’m about to lose my shit’ voice and Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

“I do apologize, we had to deal with enough NDAs as it is,” Dr. Owens replied, not realizing that he was speaking to two lawyers who were about to ruin his life.

Steve let his head rest against the pillow of the hospital bed, sighing.

“At what age did Steve sign his first NDA?”

“I believe he was 16.”

“And did he have a lawyer present?” Anne didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I can tell you he didn’t. We’re his lawyers and we were not even called. Are you the one in charge of this shitshow?”

It wasn’t often Anne Harrington said a curse word. Steve only ever heard it a handful of times, usually after hanging up with a client who would lose their case.

“I am one of the people who is tasked with this, yes. But if you don’t mind, I need to check in with a few people before I can truly devote time to this conversation.”

“Oh, please. Continue on with your day. Don’t mind us sitting next to our son in the hospital.”

Dr. Owens sighed, knowing this fight was barely even starting, and left the room.

Steve’s parents turned to him.

“How many concussions have you had?”

“Why didn’t you call us?”

“Who else knows about this?”

“Will this happen again?”

The questions were too much, and Steve’s head was pounding. He couldn’t do this right now.

“Hopper.”

“Jim Hopper? I thought he died.”

Admittedly, his parents had been out of town for a while. They didn’t know Hopper was back as of a few months ago, and probably didn’t realize he’d taken over as chief again.

“He didn’t. He’s around here somewhere.”

“He knew about all this?”

“Mom, I love you, but my head is splitting down the middle. I need to stop talking.”

Anne slowly brushed her hand through his hair, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Of course, honey. We’ll be back soon. Do not sign anything without us here, okay?”

“Okay.”

His dad briefly touched his shoulder before they both left the room.

Finally, some peace and quiet.

Until he was woken up by yelling.

Not just any yelling. Richard Harrington yelling.

If he wasn’t chained to the bed by an IV and blood transfusion bag, he would be up and in the hallway.

Apparently, he didn’t need to worry, though.

His mom came into the room, leaving the door open to the hallway so he could hear everything.

“I’m glad you’re awake, honey. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Who is he yelling at?”

“Every adult who didn’t bother to take care of you the way they should. Not just you, but all of these kids,” she said, tone more annoyed by the second.

“I don’t understand.”

“Honey, you’ve been protecting these kids in ways you never should have had to. All these adults who were involved never told any of us what was going on. They let you keep standing in the line of fire, getting hurt, seeing things you shouldn’t have to and never even bothered to call us. You signed NDAs with the government without parents or lawyers present. That alone is illegal, do you understand that?”

“So I’m in trouble?”

“Oh, honey, no. You’re not in trouble. Your dad’s having a few words with the chief and Dr. Owens.”

Steve tuned in to what was being said in the hall.

“I cannot fathom what you’ve done. Expecting these children to save this town, the world, and not even have their own parents know? Who are they supposed to turn to? You? And what have you done to help them? As far as I’m concerned, you should be arrested and imprisoned. If I have anything to say about it, you will!”

“Mom, can you please get him to stop? I know he’s upset, but Hop really protected us a lot, okay? And Dr. Owens was just doing his job.”

“A lot of people have just been doing their jobs instead of considering that maybe children shouldn’t be responsible for defeating actual monsters.”

Well. Yeah, she did have a point there.

“Where is everyone?”

Anne sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand, running her thumb along the back of it.

“The Munson boy is in the room next door, he’ll be okay. Robin is home with her parents. Most of the kids are now with their parents, but that Sinclair boy is still being watched for concussion symptoms.”

Steve sighed with relief.

No one was lost. Everyone had pretty minor injuries. Maybe he was able to protect everyone.

“That Dustin boy is relentless,” Anne said with a smile. “He really looks up to you.”

“Yeah, he’s like a brother to me.”

“His mom didn’t know about any of this either, did she?”

Steve thought about it.

Honestly, she probably had some idea. Maybe not of the real details, but she had to know Dustin was involved in something he couldn’t talk about. Same with most of the parents.

But Steve’s parents were gone a lot. Their main office was in Boston, and they would often have to travel around the country for their clients. He was used to not seeing them, only getting to talk to them on the phone once or twice a week.

It’s easy to hide shit over the phone, and when they did manage to make it home, the Upside Down monsters were safely tucked away underground.

They had no way of knowing anything was wrong. He did it on purpose, just like all of the kids did.

Even without signing the NDAs, he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t have told their parents.

“I think we just thought we were protecting you guys.”

“Honey, it’s not your job to protect us. It’s our job to protect you.”

She looked so sad.

Steve didn’t want her to be sad.

“Mom, you couldn’t have done anything. And we’re all safe.”

His dad walked in the room, face red. He closed the door behind him and ran his hand over his face.

“Doctor said Steve can go when the nurse comes to disconnect him from everything soon,” he said, coming to sit in the chair by his bed.

“That’s good news. We’ll get you home and settled. We canceled our flight out so we can stick around for a while and make sure you’re okay,” Anne said with a smile.

“You guys don’t have to cancel your trip. Your clients need you.”

“Not as much as you need us, son,” Richard said, giving him a soft smile.

“I’ve handled it before, though.”

“And you shouldn’t have. Trust me, this town, the government, they’ve got a shit storm coming and I’m leading it,” his dad huffed.

A knock interrupted Steve’s response, the door opening slightly before they answered.

Eddie.

“Steve? You okay?”

Steve’s parents looked at the door, then back at Steve, who was doing his best to hide the fond smile on his face.

It wasn’t working though, not when he saw the way Eddie was trying to take inventory of his injuries from across the room.

“You can come in, Eds.”

“Who’s this, honey?” Anne asked.

“This is Eddie.”

“Oh! You poor thing. I heard all about what you’ve been through. Let me just say, if we had caught wind of it earlier and knew you were Steve’s friend, we would’ve been representing you in court,” Anne rushed to say, her hands fluttering over Eddie’s when he got next to the bed.

Eddie’s wide eyes would have been amusing if Steve didn’t worry that he might run for the hills at the care his parents showed.

“Uh. Thank you?”

“Do you need anything right now? Do your parents need anything?” Richard asked, sitting forward in his chair, business face on.

“Um, just me and my uncle, but no. I’m heading home, but wanted to check on Steve before I go.”

“Of course! You guys are close friends?”

It was an innocent question. His parents just liked to know who was in his life, that’s all. But Eddie looked at him with panic written all over his face.

Steve gave him a small smile, then turned to his parents.

“Actually, he’s my boyfriend.”

They were quiet for a moment, which Steve expected. No matter how well he thought they’d take it, he knew it would be a shock.

But his parents didn’t let him down.

“How long have you been together, Steve?”

“Since March. Four months?” He watched as Eddie started to back away, probably expecting the worst.

Anne smacked Steve’s arm, forgetting for a moment that he was in the hospital for a reason.

“Sorry,” she said before crossing her arms. “You’ve had a boyfriend for four months and didn’t tell us? We could have come back and arranged dinner to meet him. I’m so sorry our son is rude, Eddie. He wasn’t raised that way, I assure you.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Um. What’s happening right now?”

“We’ll be home for a while to make sure Steve is alright. We’d love to have you over for dinner soon. With your uncle if you’d like,” Richard added as Eddie just stared between them.

“What do you like? I just got a new cookbook that has so many European dishes I want to try. Are you a fan of Polish food? You know what, no, what about Greek? We haven’t had good Greek food in so long.”

Steve was laughing, he couldn’t help it.

“Steve, what the hell is going on here?”

“Eddie, that’s my mom, Anne, and my dad, Richard. They’re kind of the best, and apparently they want you and Wayne to come for dinner. Think you can find time in your schedule?”

“Uh.”

“Oh dear. Do you have a concussion? They should monitor you kids better,” Anne worried, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks and look in his eyes. “Should I get a nurse?”

“No, mom, he’s okay. He just expected you two to freak out.”

“About what?”

“The fact he’s a man.”

“Oh! I do suppose that’s a reasonable concern.”

“Eddie, let me ask you this: do you make Steve happy?” Richard asked.

“I think so.”

“And he makes you happy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then it sounds like we have no reason to be upset. Now, dinner? Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

Steve laughed loudly.

“Eds, come here,” Steve gestured for him to come closer.

Eddie moved next to the bed, his arm bandaged, and a new cut with stitches in it on his forehead.

“Closer.”

Eddie leaned in.

Steve leaned up and kissed his lips. Just a quick peck, just enough to get the point across that this was really okay and really happening.

“Tomorrow at 6?” Steve asked before he pulled away completely.

Eddie nodded.

“And please bring your uncle, we need to discuss our plan for a lawsuit on behalf of all of you,” Richard spoke up from his chair.

“Oh. Yes, sir.” Eddie pulled away from the bed, nervously playing with his rings.

“Richard is fine, son.”

Eddie was blushing, which Steve was absolutely going to make fun of him for later.

“See you tomorrow, then?” Eddie asked awkwardly.

“Love you, Eds.”

“Oh. Uh. Yep. Love you too, Stevie.”

He raced out of the room, leaving Steve and Anne laughing quietly.

“Poor boy. Didn’t know what to do, did he?”

“No, I think he isn’t used to a positive reaction when people find out about him.”

“His uncle knows about you two, though, right?”

“Yeah, Wayne’s been great.”

“Good. Well, I’m going to find a nurse so we can go home. You should be comfortable in your own bed.”

“And I am going to make a quick call to my buddy in Chicago to see if he can pull some information on this Owens guy. We have a lot of work to do.”

Steve was used to this. For some kids, maybe this wasn’t good parenting. Maybe his parents being gone for a lot of his life had a negative impact.

But Steve never doubted how much they loved him. They still came home for every birthday, every Christmas. They still managed to take a family vacation every year. They gave him everything he needed and most of what he wanted. They supported him through everything, the proof right here in front of him now.

[nanathott]

Hey Nana! So I read this blog where this ADULT person (+22) had rules like “nyanya nya if you’re someone who says ‘don’t write about these characters they’re minors’ just block me. Aged up is like a timeskip in the manga except here it’s in a fanfic and it’s not canon, so what’s the difference between aged up fanfic and a canon timeskip? Plus they’re just 2d characters.” I HAVE to add that this person writes “light” incest but not “heavy” incest, like if it wasn’t the same shit wtffff

Honestly it pissed me off lol cause like, what even separates them from pedos at this point? (I didn’t mention but obviously this person writes suggestive/nsfw content about minor characters.) The moment you’re imagining that minor character in a sexual context or in certain positions I don’t see how it’s any different (or am I overreacting?)

Aaaanyway SORRYYYY (sometimes I feel like you need to have zero morals and zero values to be on apps like tumblr or ao3. But honestly the worst are the people reading that shit and hyping up the writers. It’s so inconsiderate to the people who have to live with that kind of traumas/struggles..)

(One time I was looking for a Chainsaw Man fanfic on ao3 and against my will I stumbled upon someone writing Denji x SIX YO/EIGHT YO!reader??????? (As a victim of pedophilia I legit thought I was gonna throw up. Like an idiot I read the comments hoping someone would call out how messed up it was and WHAT DID I SEE??? “Omg this is so good, I love it” and I wanted to lose it and start cutting heads off lol🤕))

ANYWAY! Have a great day Nana!! (Oh idk if I said this already (yeah this is all unplanned, I’m just talking with my heart hihi and forgetting stuff) but I wanted your pov, your thoughts or idk, I just wanted to share this lol) HAVE A GREAT DAY AGAIN! <3

that’s so insane, the reason why aging up minor characters is fucking weird is because THERE IS NO CANNON TIMESKIP, you saw them as a kid, look like a kid and act like a kid and got the urge to write smut about them….. that’s weird, the only reason they’re “aging them up” is just a way for them to attempt at justifying what they’re doing so they don’t feel like a creep (it’s still weird as fuck)

^ this goes heavy for mha characters bcs they reeeeally look and act like kids esp in the earlier seasons when they’re still naive and learning, not to mention they’re literally in a high school setting

but i totally agree, ik people have mixed feelings on this and smut about minors will always be a problem and cause discourse but idk, maybe those of us who are victims of pedophillia are more sensitive to these things but regardless of whether they’re their fictional characters or not it just feels gross

it feels like stripping them of their innocence esp in cases where people write smut for denji like u said, he’s dumb, uneducated, inexperienced, and is obviously a repeated victim of sexual assault and people use that as a way to write smut for him… it’s so strange, like leave that kid alone

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Re: the split/kid Kim AU, I've seen you say a lot about the interactions between Chay and Kim and kid!Kim (which are wonderful and I love them!). Do you have any thoughts about the interactions between Kinn or Khun and kid!Kim?

Ooh, you're right, most of my posts have focused on Kim and Chay which is hilarious, because actually! The fic is centered around Kim and his brothers!! Since this fic is figuratively and literally about healing Kim's inner child, a very large part of that means mending his relationship with Kinn and Khun.

When this fic starts, Kim is ~13 and his Kinn is still dating Tawan. Kinn hasn't gone through all the heart break and betrayal that turned him into someone cold and cruel. He's still Kim's big, sweet, kind older brother, and even though kid Kim is a grumpy little storm cloud, he loves his brothers more than anything. He doesn't know why everything is suddenly so much different, but he trusts Kinn to fix it. And Kinn does not know what to do with a Kim that wholeheartedly, unquestioningly (mostly) trusts him.

“Kim?” The boy doesn’t respond. Kinn wants to reach out to him, but he’s still got that knife clutched in his hand, and he might be wild enough to use it, even against his own brother.  “It’s alright, nong, you’re safe now. You’re home. I’m—hia’s here. Okay?” Kinn crawls closer. He keeps his voice even and soothing, or tries to, at least. He doesn’t know how well it works. Kim doesn’t move from his hiding place, and he doesn’t stop shaking.  Kim’s voice breaks when he chokes out, “I don’t know what’s happening.”  When Kinn comes closer, close enough to touch, Kim doesn’t flinch away from him. He picks his head up and fixes Kinn with his wide, red-rimmed eyes, and looks at him like he holds all the answers. Kinn desperately wishes he did.  “Hia?” “Come on, nong.” Kinn holds out his hand. “Let’s figure this out together.”

This is probably going to end up focused on Kim and Kinn's relationship, actually, since Kim is already a little closer to Khun. Luckily adult Khun is jsut as crazy as Kim remembers, and he takes the whole kid!Kim thing in stride, so naturally Kim gravitates towards him. But as much as he loves Khun, Kinn is the one he looks up to, the one he believes can fix everything. And Kinn, who takes on so much responsibility, who's finally the one in charge, can now protect Kim the way he thinks he should have when they were younger.

This fic is also where I started my headcanon that Khun calls Kim his little songbird. At some point adult Kim will see how easy it is for his younger self to get along with his brothers (talking, spending time, cuddling with them, all things Kim hasn't allowed himself in years) and it makes his heart ache. He thinks it's too late. Even apologizes that he isn't the brother Khun deserves, but Khun just huffs and calls him an idiot for ever thinking that jsut because he's broken out of his cage and is flying free, doesn't mean he isn't still Khun's precious songbird. He's jsut been waiting for Kim to stop being so stubborn and finally come home, and so as Kinn. Cue little Kim taking Kim's hand and dragging him into a cuddle pile bc see? how easy?? it is???

And it's not easy, because Kim doesn't have these memories of being close to his brothers. They feel like strangers to him now without them. But... it is nice. It's so good, he doesn't know how he's lived without them all these years. Kid!Kim is happily bundled up in one of Khun's fluffiest coats, calling Kim dumb for nor seeing how much he still needs them. The story is about Kim healing his inner child, but his child self ends up healing him, too.

There's also a really fun dynamic between Kid!Kim and Porsche, because Kinn. Does not know how to brother. But Porsche is very good at brothering, and he knows how to handle Little Brother Emotional CrisisTM. So until Kinn learns how to be a brother to Kim again, he's the one filling that role, and it's very cute. Esp. when Kim finds out Porsche is Chay's older brother, then he's all awkwardly trying to as about his super cute future boyfriend 🥺👉👈 (He tries to play it cool around Chay. he is not successful. Chay thinks he's adorable.)

After Kim is reunited with child self/no longer going around as two people, he ends up with really weird feelings towards Porsche? They weren't particularly close before, but suddenly? Porsche feels?? safe??? One day Kim just hugs him out of the blue and they both freeze because it was such a natural instinct to Kim he didn't even question it, but also he doesn't hug Porsche?? ever??? (Porsche thinks it's both hilarious and adorable)

Also I want to mention that I have a very similar AU to this, except it's Kinn that gets de-aged instead! Porsche drops him off at Kim's apartment out of the blue and Kim is like wtf no?? And that one has accompanying fanart! Little Kinn gets nightmares, and he sneaks in to sleep with Kim bc he's too afraid to sleep alone 🥺

[sango-blep]

every time you and grace draw together, it makes me so happy because it's so clear how much fun you both have drawing together! also it's been so cool to see how the both of you are growing as artists and still make time to do fun things (bc art can be fun! even and esp when you're an adult!) i just am i always inspired by you both and so grateful for the joy you share with us!

THAMK Timezones and jobs and life don’t always make it easy but @bigmammallama5 and I really try to make that bit of time every sunday. You just need your weekly unhinged gay time it’s good for the soul and i’m forever grateful to have that.

[atopvisenyashill]

is it okay that this lady is in the dead ladies club?

i simply wanted the excuse to talk about the moms. i'm not including ashara, elia, or lyanna in this, because the last two are plot relevant deaths and ashara's is left purposefully mysterious I think because we are going to get some sort of answer there (not even implying "lemore is ashara" here, i think the fact that we have conflicting info on her does mean something about her baby being relevant to the tower of joy, which means howland or bran/the weirwood hivemind are going to reveal that to us. will it be a huge reveal that shakes the earth? i mean, probably not, but i do think it will be relevant).

let’s gooo-

joanna lannister is a dead mom with some narrative weight to her. all three lannisters think about how different their lives might have been, define themselves by the gaping absence of her in their life, and the fact that jaime commits more violence in the riverlands, convinces himself it’s a job well done, and of all people it’s his MOTHER who comes to him in a dream just to be like “this is your conscious speaking, you’re a fucking idiot get your life together dude,” you really feel that this is a family that was wrecked by the loss of their mother at a young age. it Is noticeable that we don’t get much of an idea of her personality compared to the men tho.

can she stay in the dead ladies club? yes, i think this is a well thought out dead mom, i simply wish she had slightly more characterization than “loving mom & wife.”

minisa whent gets less characterization, i think bc we only have cat as insight into her, so i can sort of forgive that, esp since i do think it’s noticeable that for all cat is really fuckijg busy most of the time, she does think about her mother and wonder if she would have been happier with her mother around. lysa & edmure only get to be Like That because they really had no adult taking care of them except cat who was still all but a child herself, so you can feel minisa’s absence in the characterization of her children and the damage her death did to the tully siblings.

can she stay in the dead ladies club? yes, i think this is a well thought out dead mom, although once again i wish we had the opportunity to get information on the type of person she was outside of "loving mother." i do think that minisa and joanna are meant to mirror each other in this way though - they died so young that they are forever frozen in the minds of their children as these paragons of goodness, as a reminder of where their lives went wrong, and what might have happened if things had been a little less sad for them.

what’s interesting about loreza nymeros martell is that we don’t even know what her actual name IS or her age or when she died AND YET despite how little time we spend with characters that knew her, Doran names her as an influence on him and quotes her, and this scene - “this is your kingdom” in the water gardens - is usually pointed to as one of those scenes that are The Point Of The Series. the writing around her is certainly clunky but at least you can tell there was thought put into the kind of person doran’s mother was and how she might have influenced doran's life. i also think it's notable here that we know she was up to things besides giving birth - she was a lady at court, she was friendly with joanna and rhaella, she was attempting to engage her kids to non dornish lords so she was clearly very pro-Dorne Being Involved as opposed to having an isolationist bent. we know a decent amount about her personality, and we don't even know who she marries, which is honestly kind of funny - so many of these characters only think about their fathers yet doran only thinks of his mother.

can she stay in the dead ladies club? yes, but we are deducting points for not having arianne think about her at all and also still not knowing her name.

cassana eastermont is a question mark but to be fair,,,,,so is steffon and that is kind of the point of both of them. cassana and steffon were at court, and then died, so like the other siblings of this era, the baratheon boys grew up Without An Adult In The Room except for Maester Cressen. the tragedy of Cressen being helpless to keep his boys together, and dying in a vain attempt to save what’s left of stannis and renly’s souls, it doesn’t really work if any of them have a lot of fond memories that they dwell over of cassana or steffon. and no one has any real idea how aware steffon was of the whisperings of rebellion against aerys because they’re so absent from the narrative, it’s funny that their son then became the face of that rebellion despite steffon’s targaryen mother. BUT. yeah it does objectively suck that we don’t know what cassana was up to before she had her first baby and then she dies, bc at least we know steffon was alive and doing shit, we’re just fuzzy on what. cassana begins and ends as a wife and mother, that really sucks and i wish we had gotten a single person throwaway commenting about her.

can she stay in the dead ladies club? yes, but i think if we had some throwaway lines about her, as an example, fostering at Storm's End so Rhaelle had some female company (since she had no daughters, and only the one son) and her and Steffon met and married that way, so that we know she existed before becoming a mother.

rhaella targaryen is an interesting example because we not only have several characters who remark on her and knew her, we actually get a significant amount of characterization for her. she was clearly romantic enough to entertain fantasies of running off with bonifer hasty and yet pragmatic enough to not pull a stunt like that. "mindful of her duty" as it's put, but also rebelling against her brother-husband in ways by being openly kind to rhaegar and embracing rhaenys and elia. stubborn enough to crown viserys on dragonstone. a loving mother whose loss broke viserys' mind. but...like did she have to die in childbirth? did daenerys have to have no memories of her whatsoever? would it not have been perfectly within the plot george wanted if rhaella and ser willem darry were with her, and died of a fever at the same time?

can she stay in the dead ladies club? no, i think it's really annoying and dumb that rhaella dies on dragonstone giving birth to dany. i dont think it changes the plot in any way if rhaella had stayed alive for four or five years after dany's birth, and if dany thought about her mother from time to time. it is honestly one of the my Main quibbles with this series, that dany never thinks about the women in her family when she thinks of leaders and rulers, only the men.

lyarra stark is in my opinion the most egregious example of a woman in the dead ladies club. no personality, no in canon mentions of her, no idea when she dies, george didn't even think about her until twoiaf. there were theories and mystery surrounding her and the answer was "george did not think she was relevant" and it sure is fun and intersting to look at which dead characters are irrelevant and which ones get characterization (see comments about steffon vs cassana). i get wanting most of the grandparents to be dead by the end of robert's rebellion - a lot of the point is that the sets of siblings from the rebellion era are very isolated from their childhoods, signified by the losses of their parents and especially their mothers (as motherhood and childhood are kind of intrinsically linked together). but why did she have to die before the rebellion? why does ned never once think about her? why must it always be the mother who is inconsequential while the father makes history? to throw george's own words at him, the woman is important too!

can she stay in the dead ladies club? no, there's just no reason why she couldn't have lived to the rebellion, been the Stark in Winterfell alongside Benjen, and died during the war, either of grief, shock, or potentially even after an attempt at finding lyanna herself goes awry.

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[roobylavender]

someone posted this panel regarding oliver vs bruces parenting taking a jab at bruce that seems funny enough, like we can just like the post and move on but i checked the notes and apparently fans of each family are at war arguing with each other😭mostly shitting on bruce because oliver is the better parent and somebody brought up how when queen and his kids were having issues at some point that it was ooc and while i am not super well read on GA stuff i can definitely buy that, but what i dont understand is why that isnt allowed for bruce. i saw tags concerning the other horrible things bruce has done as like a gotcha to bat fans and its like why are only his comics the ones we take at face value as 100% accurate and in good faith am i wrong for finding this dumb😭

not at all i totally agree it’s dumb lol 😭 the thing that confuses me about the bruce v oliver debate is that i don’t get why there’s a need to compare when their parenting issues are at completely different ends of the spectrum. granted i do think both of them have issues with communicating but those stem from different things. every problem bruce has as a parent has to do with how he neurotic he is about being a parent to begin with. he cares too much, he worries constantly, he carries reams of guilt, etc. he’s constantly arguing within himself whether to keep the people he loves close so he can make sure they’re safe or to let them go so they can pursue their own dreams and aren’t put in harm’s way bc he asked them to stay. he’s like, a conditional-helicopter parent, in the sense that the helicopter gene only activates when people are in his city, which is why he allows them to walk away bc then it means he’s not trying to control them (except we obv know that leads to the problem where they feel like he’s pushed them away bc they think he thinks they’re not good enough)

oliver to me in comparison is someone who initially did not take parenthood seriously enough and almost treated it like he did any other relationship. unlike bruce, he was very intentional with treating roy like an equal—when i use that modifier at the beginning what i mean to say is that bruce was very cognizant of his position as a parent. dick’s safety was a higher priority than was dick’s self esteem (at least beyond the zucco incident which had a very specific goal of closure) even though bruce very much came to believe that dick was his equal, esp as an adult—and to the extent that when roy got into serious trouble with drugs oliver not only expressed this sort of condemnatory disappointment but also only expressed pride at roy having recovered from his addiction later on bc it was something he did on his own. he respected roy’s responsibility and maturity even though realistically as a parent he should have stepped in to help bc roy was still barely an adult and he had fallen prey to drugs bc oliver left him alone in the first place

those are both styles of parenting that i think you can criticize. there’s pros and cons to being too protective of your children vs not protective enough. and i think people tend only to criticize the former style and its example in bruce bc a recovery of his relationships with his children has never been the goal in the way that it is for oliver’s writers. which is a shame bc i really don’t think you or i believe bruce is as intentionally selfish as writers portray him to be. but alas 😭

[the-bjd-community-confess]

k I don’t really care MUCH about cvlur’s past actions in the hobby with her preorder & shit, cuz I wasn't directly affected. it was one of those things where everyone was talking bout it but i didn't order/want a doll so it wasn’t personal to me. It sucked/etc/hope the victims got compensated/etc. That's a disclaimer cuz I'm neither a cvlur fan or hater. This ain’t about her directly. It’s about her fans/haters who like to debate this constantly lately. Which I seem to fuckin be surrounded by. Also, my tone is kinda aggro to some people cuz I curse but i don’t actually lose sleep over this shit lmfao.

what DOES annoy me anytime someone brings this up like that last confession crying about how ppl are so mad she fucked up when she was “young” - girl is ALMOST 30 NOW if I understand correctly. If it happened 10 yrs ago she wouldnt have been in her early 20s, she’d been like 16-19 and THAT would be WAY more understandable to say “she was young and didn’t know any better.” this shit happened LESS than 10 yrs, she was like, college age, which for US is 18-22 TYPICALLY if you go to college fresh outta highschool for a 4 year degree. ppl in their early 20s, while yeah, in the grand scheme of LIFE are young, are still ADULTS, capable of running complex fuckin tasks from working at a company to managing money for a group order. ppl in their early 20s include 20-24. stop infantilizing people. People can make mistakes at ANY age and severely misjudge a situation (intentional or not what she did). cvlur and I are roughly the same iirc, at the time of sending this im 28, turning 29. If she’s younger than me, she was running an order as a highschooler, which she wasn’t.

There were SO fucking many ppl in college in their “early 20s” who, mature or not, worked with large sums of money, complex organizational structures, etc. some ppl are suited for that shit, some ain’t. You can straight up just say “she was under prepared for the situation” instead of “oh poor bby she was so young 🥺 she just didn’t know!!!” you sound like a fuckin moron, anon. Do you treat every 20yr old who makes a simple mistake at the grocery store like that too? You better tip ur waiters extra who are under 25 even if they spill your drink or make you wait bc they were just too young to know better, they can’t be blamed for that

and for the other person in the comments too, “adults obsessing over her” or whatever …… she’s an adult she’s an adult she’s an adult no wonder why she avoids talking to ppl both haters and fans alike take away her fucking agency SO much. OFF THE SUBJECT OF CVLUR but relating to scammers rn tho, the same can STILL be said about it. Their age doesn’t = not knowing enough about running a good thing. Look at ppl complaining abt dxg1rly, is she worse than everyone younger bc she’s said she’s almost 40, so she only went in with bad intents and not a mistake like cvlur? same with bvmf?

Not sayin dx or bvmf or anyone else who’s been late on shipping/etc etc is absolved of anything, or that they’ve done smth, and same with cvlur, cuz i’ve never ordered from any of these ppl. but don’t give ppl the weak ass get outta jail “oh i was 21 I was just too young to know!”to keep using esp if they really did do something bad. Also, anon, late shipping is absolutely scam territory, and if it happened to you I bet you'd cry scam too by year 2 or whatever lmfaooooo. Thanks for coming to my “I don’t like that the community infantilizes so much shit about this hobby for grown adults” ted talk, I’m off to go scam someone or smth cuz i’m in my 20s so I’m young and don’t know any better lmfao

~Anonymous

[kouhaiofcolor]

Hi! I know this may sound ridiculous, but my mom and sister (unintentionally) made me feel bad about my complexion. My mom is extremely fair skin but she’s 100% black. Yesterday, my family and I were looking at old family photos, which included baby/toddler/child pictures of me. (I eventually stopped looking bc I don’t like looking at pictures of myself. I am not confident about my appearance regardless of what age. Ik it sounds a bit extreme, but I have major self esteem issues.) Today, my mom and sister mentioned how much lighter I was as a child. I don’t have an issue w my complexion but they were making it sound bad that I got darker now that I’m an adult. I’ve experienced a lot of racial trauma from going to an all white middle and high school and I’ve dealt with a lot of insecurities but this just made it worse. I love my complexion but they made it sound like I became less feminine/cute/attractive over time once I got darker.

Genuinely makes my skin crawl to hear about or witness colorism like this. It’s even worse when the damage is inflicted by family (esp this casually). I’d argue that it feels even worse coming from Black family members who are women — bc while yes, a lot of it has to do w poor education or awareness on what is antiblack or colorist even within our own communities, I do genuinely wish Black mothers this applies to wouldn’t overlook how harmful it is. If your sister is similarly fair skinned like her, that makes it even weirder considering what they were projecting ab your complexion itfp. This doesn’t sound extreme at all to feel mistreated over; there was definitely colorism in the basis of their criticisms (it was also weird to insinuate that you looked “more appealing(?)” as a child too, as if you weren’t actively growing into your features, including the color of your skin).

Goodness, why make your own child feel inferior for their complexion tho? And why make it acceptable for another one of your children to chip in w the same antagonistic ignorance? That’s teaching & perpetuating both colorism & featurism right there at home. 🤦🏽‍♀️I think that this is a terrible normalcy & habit among Black People that is way more common than even we realize or are comfortable taking accountability for where it applies to us. Not among all Black communities or all Black households or all Black families, but there’s definitely enough of it in the mix to be prevalent. It’s fucked up when non blacks do this, absolutely; but I find it levels of disgusting when it comes from our own people. Esp other Black Women. Way too many Black men already subject us to these qualities of compromise to our self image & mental health. What in the fuck could you possibly gain from enhancing this kind of misogynoir stress for your Black daughter? I’m so sorry.

Whether your sister and mother realize it or not, they were out of place. What they were doing was inappropriate; almost mean-girlish. That wasn’t ok & im sorry you experienced that. Feeling wronged by it is valid as well. If you can, or when you’re comfortable if you’re able, you should tell them this. You should tell them how it made you feel, even though you’ve given them the benefit of the doubt w knowing it didn’t necessarily come from a place of sheer maliciousness. I’m sure they love you, & didn’t mean to hurt you. But they do need to know it’s harmful, bc we definitely don’t talk about this openly enough within Black culture.

[chiffonperiwinkle]

about me!

I realized that I should have this since I saw others having this lol so here it is, an about me post

name: kaycee (internet name) / irl first name or nickname (if you know me irl)

age: young adult, that’s all I am going to say.

gender: nonbinary genderqueer i also consider myself transmasc even though i do present fem a lot. but like i just feel the most euphoria when i am dressed like ur local bartender or smth. that's mt desired gender expression xd

attraction orientation: aromantic asexual, but i love platonic things. i love good friendships and i love my friends very strongly.

place: new york, usa

birthday: may 10th

languages: mostly English but I also am fluent in Mandarin. (It was my first language) I don’t think I’ll post in Chinese though bc I don’t think my moots will understand.

Please DNI if you have the basic DNI criteria, if you post NSFW, or you support any inhumane practices done by very very bad governments, or is just an asshole in general.

Likes/interests/hobbies:

-cover singing; mostly pop songs in Chinese, Japanese and English. I can’t actually speak Japanese (I know the basics but) so I just cover according to romaji pronunciation. I do plan to learn Japanese though.

-playing games; mostly mobile and browser I don’t have a console or a fancy gaming pc (cries in broke) I do plan to get a console soon though and maybe even start playing more equipment intensive games (once I get more space in my house and buy a good pc for gaming) for now I am mostly invested in Genshin and Honkai star rail. I also used to play FGO and Azure lane. They’re cool I guess.

-anime/comic/games culture; I used to watch anime but the website I used now requires subscription and I’m not fond of paying for subscriptions at all. So now mostly just games and sometimes comics.

-Asian contemporary fashion; esp jk uniforms(Chinese subculture that imitates Japanese school uniforms), Lolita fashion (it’s a Japanese subculture that features cute dresses and has nothing to do with the no no stuff please don’t kill me)

-creative writing (mostly poetry and fantasy), as well making OCs. I mostly just write character descriptions and lore building things rather than an actual plot line. I don’t exactly know how to make one welp 0-0 if you ask me about my ocs or fantasy universe I can talk about them all day xd

-makeup; I don’t post my makeup looks bc that involves my face and I don’t think posting my face is a good idea here. I’ve only started it last year and I found it very fun. If you wanna get into it do tell me bc I can also talk about that all day and give recommendations. I do mostly Asian makeup looks rather than American/european tho.

-yummy food. Esp. Asian food and snacks. I try to eat relatively healthier things but still I eat a lot of pockys and lays and stuff (try Chinese lays chips they’re wonderful)

-formalwear(blazers, suits, waistcoats, ties and stuff) they look so good on me and nah bejng overdressed is a myth. I feel more confident and happy in those soooo yeah. Ties are especially cool and I am on a quest to collect more unique ones. And same with blazers. I want to get one of every major color range tbh they’re so cool ^_^

Anyway that’s all I can think of for now. If you have any questions do ask away, I’m generally pretty open with answering them unless it’s something inappropriate or super personal. If you have a problem with me please do tell me immediately, I don’t want either of us to harbor bitter feelings towards each other. I guess I am generally pretty chill with most people so as long as you don’t cross my boundaries you’re good. Tumblr is cool yay.

[violentviolette]

I’m going to try to ask this in the best faith possible bc I realize how like loaded conversations around mental illness and pathologizing behavior is, esp wrt npd and aspd especially. You talk a lot about how pathologizing abuse and otherwise shitty behavior is bad and how with trauma, our behaviors (as I’m cluster b as well, jury’s out on aspd) are usually deeply unhealthy and destructive, but wherein is the difference between just being a shitty person growing up and being antisocial? Or developing npd?

The diagnostic criteria for aspd is like being generally destructive towards ourselves and others, but where does the line become “I was destructive as part of developing aspd” and “I was destructive as a child because society rewards bullies and punishes victims and I was a little shit”? Im, again, not trying to start anything, I am legitimately confused and concerned even where there are people who do not fit the model for aspd but do shitty things and people who do fit the model and do shitty things. What part is the disorder?

The reason I’m not entirely sure if I have aspd is because I’m not entirely sure that the criteria I met as a kid (and as an adult) should be pathologized as aspd. Like maybe I really just am not a good person and shouldn’t slap a “mentally ill” label on it? Just like I shouldn’t expect people to armchair dx bad people with npd and aspd, where is the destructiveness inherent to the disorder and when is it just being a shitty person? I hope I asked this correctly.

Im trying to get a hold of like understanding and unpacking things and I don’t want to further demonize the disorder by saying “oh I did these things so I must be aspd”, but I don’t want to erase my struggles or do that radical positivity where it’s almost infantilizing where “uwu you can have aspd and be perfect nondestructive angels uwu nothing you do ever is bad and you’re valid” either. I may have exaggerated the positivity a bit 😂, I wouldn’t go so far, but I don’t want to further demonize the disorder if I just was a shit person but I don’t want to shit on pwaspd who, I suppose, “aren’t perfect”. Idk. I hope this comes across the way I mean it to.

i think i understand what u mean, and i think, in my opinion, the answer is that there is no such thing as an ontologically bad person. people do things for a reason, and while those reasons arent always good reasons, they're never as simple as "because they're a bad person"

this is especially true when looking at childhood behavior. there is genuinely no such thing as an inherently bad kid. children do not act out for no reason. there is no such thing as a child who is just a little shit. genuinely that does not exist. because children learn their behavior solely from their environment, every willful behavior a child exhibits (so anything that isnt a reflex like breathing or babies crying) they learned from the environment around them. so if a child is behaving badly, that means the adults around it are behaving badly. that means that child is being treated badly first, before they then go on to mimic and repeat that behavior and to be clear im talking specifically about disordered behavior, all kids go through periods of acting out and being emotional and impulsive. so im excluding normal ranges of behavior. because kids that are destructive in these ways are so for a reason, and that reason is never ever because "they're just bad." that is a myth that adults use to excuse, normalize, and justify child abuse, because they dont want to believe and admit that they are abusing their children, that their behavior is a problem that needs to change. if a child is exhibiting deep antisocial behavior, if they're destructive, if they lie, if they hurt other kids or animals, if they dont show remorse or any emotional connection to their actions, if they're emotionally volatile, if they're acting out in aggressive or dangerous ways, if they're mean and vindictive and go out of their way to hurt others, if they take joy in causing others discomfort and upsetting them, then those children are being abused. those symptoms do not manifest for no reason or because a kid is just a shitty person. that'd be like saying an infection isnt caused by bacteria entering ur bloodstream, it's just something that happens to some people because they suck, u know? the wound cannot come before the blow. in order to exhibit these symptoms as children, something has to have happened. for cluster b pds specifically and the overall list of symptomatic behaviors they cover, those things cannot and will not manifest in people unless they undergo trauma through prolonged abuse. if they were being raised in healthy, loving, emotionally stable environments, then they would not be exhibiting those symptoms in those ways.

this is such a huge lie that people who grow up in abusive households get taught, that some people are just shitty and awful and evil, that yea sure there's people with real problems but thats not us, we're just spoiled, selfish, entitled, needy, shitty, ect. ect. bad kids and that's why we're like this. thats why they treat us so badly, because we're just inherently awful and they're just reacting to that. because if they were to admit otherwise that would mean admitting that their behavior is actually the issue and their actions are wrong, so the problem has to just be us, not them.

i dont know if these are things that resonate with u, but i know for a lot of cluster b's we often find ourselves in the beginning going through this period of being like "but im just shitty and thats why im like this" because our entire worldview revolves around logic that isnt actually reality or healthy truth, it's abuse. and because we've lived our whole lives inside that abuse bubble of logic we dont even realize how deeply we've internalized it until times like these

so i think those are important things to consider and remember when thinking about all this and i hope that made sense and was helpful. feel free to ask followups or for clarification if i got too rambly somewhere and lost the point or just made no sense lol

[morvantmortuary]

so I didn’t get around to writing much this weekend bc I have a job interview tomorrow/today (second round!! for a Real Adult Person salary, even!!!) and I have to get my next diss chapter draft to my chair by tomorrow/this evening bc I promised I would, which means I’m staring down another [checks notes] 3,750 words while I’m in the office —

which doesn’t sound like a lot (esp. with my tendency to Go On, as we all know), but trying to write that many words in a suitably academic style, with references to theory I feel like I half-understand at best, and not about the murder people who have taken over my brain?? woof :’D

anyway. any spare good vibes appreciated, so the words come quickly and I can get back to writing what I actually want to write 🖤💀🖤

(and also so I don’t somehow tragically embarrass myself at the in-person interview tomorrow, that’s probably important. I’ve already told myself I can’t wear the earrings that look like human teeth, so that’s a start?)

leaving this here so whenever I open my app I am Reminded:

(by “threats” he means jumping out when one least expects it and chasing them slasher-style through the house to get their blood pumping.

it’s supposed to be good for creativity, of course.)

anyway, feel free to use these if you need your own mildly ominous motivation :’D I definitely won’t make Hex and Rora versions when I need to procrastinate, nope

[unrealityshift]

I forgot about Die's Nazi uniform! Didn't they also do overtly sexual borderline queer stuff in the early 2000's too? I vividly remember a picture of toshiya laying fully on Kaoru? I think it was and they're holding each other (teenage queer questioing me loved that picture), and there is that picture of Kaoru licking a papaya? Or some big fruit, implying he eats pussy and then kyo used to put his hands down his pants and simulate masterbaiting on stage.

As a teenager it really appealed to me, I loved that shock stuff, I was a total edge lord 😂 but as an adult looking back at how conservative Japan is even now, them doing that in the 90s and 00s was insane. I didn't appreciate the context of it as a teen in a very left leaning country like Canada.

Still I was glad to hear their controversies were being shocking or edgy and not sexual predators or terfs

i think we as a fandom like to try and collectively forget it bc it certainly was A Choice and not a good edgelord one to make lol. and oh hell yeah they did. part of it was fanservice typical of vk-leaning bands (toshiya licking kyo onstage, toshiya and shinya kissing in behind the scenes footage, general early 20s nonsense) and i also think part of it was being subversive, esp as a band that focused a lot on sex and (losing my words here in an adhd way so i don’t know what i’m trying to say) indecency i guess??

they do in general have a lot of sexually charged material/photoshoots (not even including kyo’s side projects that are extremely horny) and i know that as they’ve gotten older they’ve looped back around to being comfortable with their masculinity/identities, which is so nice to see!! toshiya wearing skirts and having an androgynous energy helped me come to terms with being trans, and to be honest, kyo gives me some mad trans vibes lately, but it’s not on me to force labels or speculate (but i wouldn’t be surprised if he was queer in some way!)

additionally, the band has also historically said that they do not care if fans produce art/works that are shippy of them like fanart or fanfiction, they just don’t care to see it which?? says a lot to me about their comfort with sexuality as well as being able to set boundaries that work and i respect them so much for that

but i see what you mean!! i grew up mostly in the states and im back living in canada now, and i’m fortunate to have a very worldly upbringing so i can certainly at least try to see things more in the context they were created in