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thebalkanwitch · 3 years

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Cancer Season!

Full Moon in Capricorn!

Supermoon!

Strawberry Moon!

This is LONG-TERM energy

This is SETTING UP YOUR LEGACY energy

This is redefining what “family” means to you energy

Feeling overly sensitive? Feel like you need to re-establish boundaries? Feel like you need to go that extra mile in order to see results? Feel really horny, too? Yeah it’s not you, babe, its Cancer season AND a Capricorn full moon. Let’s get into it:

I was working late the other night and Harry Potter was on (I’m an artist, and I like to have some background noise while I work, preferably music, audiobooks or a movie I’ve seen a thousand times), and let me tell you when Harry went into that pensieve I cried like a baby (you all know exactly which scene I’m talking about). Granted, I was pms-ing but that’s not the point (and yes, I know, there are problematic characters written by a problematic person, but let me enjoy my guilty pleasure, this one time please and thank you), the point is, Cancer Season came in and hit me like a tidal wave, pun intended, and I know I’m not the only one!

Cancer is water, Capricorn is earth

Emotions, Logic

Heart, Mind

Feminine, Masculine

Mother, Father

These are sister signs, or two signs that sit opposite one another on the astrological wheel. There’s an interesting push/pull dynamic when it comes to these types of pairings. At first glance you would assume that they wouldn’t get along, but they actually have more in common than you would think. In this case, the Capricorn full moon falling in Cancer season is quite simpatico. They’re both cardinal signs, they’re both hardworking (in their own ways, respectively) and they are both determined. Caps and Cancers may tackle projects differently but they are tenacious and will get the job done! This is an excellent time to focus on career goals/ family planning/ your 5 year goals, etc

I know I sound like a broken record but seriously, you cannot welcome new things (blessings, relationships, projects, beginnings, etc) without clearing out all the old shit! It is stagnant energy, it is dead weight and it is taking up space. That being said, have you cleaned? No, but seriously, have you CLEANED?? I mean spiritually, emotionally, physically cleaned.

I recently went to a family event (first one post-pandemic) and I gotta say, I really didn’t miss most of the people I saw. That’s what I mean by CLEANING. Only a handful of people have been in my home in the last two years and it has been absolutely wonderful! Not everyone needs access to you or your energy. Not everyone is entitled to you or your time, remember that! Setting boundaries is not only a necessary form of self-care but also self-love and spiritual cleaning. You don’t want some asshole coming into your home, touching everything, fucking up the peace and throwing your energy off, regardless of how they are related to you. I understand this is easier said than done, especially coming from the Balkans. “Family” comes with a sense of entitlement that makes navigating every gathering like maneuvering a minefield (WHY DID YOU GAIN SO MUCH WEIGHT? WHY DID YOU LOSE SO MUCH WEIGHT? ARE YOU SICK? WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A BABY? WHEN ARE YOU HAVING A BOY? WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING? WHY AREN’T YOU STAYING HOME WITH THE KIDS? Etc). We’ve all dealt with this nonsense in some form or another and at times it seems like FAMILY is an oppressive four-letter-word that we are just doomed to deal with forever, but let me remind you of this interesting little fact: Albanians are probably THE most family-oriented or family-minded culture that I know of (and this may be the incorrect terminology, so if anyone has a better suggestion, let me know!), to the point of being almost neurotic when it comes to whom is considered FAMILY.

There are very strict social and cultural mores that are followed to this day, among Albanians, specifically when it comes to marriage and familial bonds. Albanians cannot marry someone with the same last name. Albanians cannot marry their cousins, at least not until their 7th cousin. After their 7th cousin it’s open season because let’s face it, by the time you go that far in the family tree they either don’t exist or they’re so far away that there is no chance of being blood-related. Albanians cannot marry someone from their godparent’s family and vice-versa. Albanians should not marry someone within their “mëhallë” or neighborhood because chances are somebody’s got a secret and the neighbor’s cute son could actually be your brother 😆 (gross but realistic and true and while this is not a strict cultural rule, it is a general rule of thumb). Finally, the most interesting little tid-bit and the point of this whole spiel, Albanians cannot marry someone in the same “fis” or tribe as their own.

What is a fis? A fis is a tribe or clan that each family belongs to. Every single Albanian family can trace its lineage to a specific fis, and each fis is composed of multiple families. So marriages were always a serious affair and had to be considered and discussed at length, with great focus on lineage and creating new kin-ties. THAT BEING SAID, YOU DETERMINE WHO IS IN YOUR FIS. YOU DETERMINE WHO IS ALLOWED INTO YOUR FAMILY. If someone is blood related to you but doesn’t make the cut, it is what it is. If someone is not blood related to you but they are your sister, guess what? You just got a new sister. This is the energy of this time. Restructuring from the ground up. What is your family going to look like? What is your career going to look like? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?

Full moons represent completion, the end of a lunar cycle. Think about what you want and how to get it! Organize your time, ground yourself and focus on your priorities.

Themes: quality over quantity, grow up/ glow up, pick your family/ grow your circle

Keywords: practical, disciplined, emotional (just because you KNOW what you have to do doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, do it! release all that shit and move forward accordingly)

Use: *YELLOW* tigers eye, citrine, amber (work that solar plexus!)

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musubiki · 4 years

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Hello!! I've followed you on twitter for a while for your pokemon stuff, but stayed for your cute ocs and art style! I really adore your comics, and I was wondering if it's okay to share some tips or tutorials on how you make them (panels/expression/dialogue)? Or maybe just your general process!! I also want to improve on drawing comics and you have been a big inspiration 💕

AAAA THANK U SO MUCH!!! 😭💖💖💖 IM JUS GONNA PUT SOME TIPS CUZ DOING A WHOLE TUTORIAL WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH TIME I THINK,,,these are just newbie tips cuz i dont rly know what im doing so far either 😭😭😭

- i always do the script for a comic first!!! and i usually wait a while between doing the script and actually drawing it since i usually end up changing/thinking up new ideas after a few days!!

- ive read that a good way to break panels is “one panel per emotion”!! so dont try to fit like 3 different emotions into one panel!! (BUT ive seen official mangas like GSNK bend that rule and they end up putting normal tone at the beginning of one panel and ending it with an angry tone without the characters face changing!! that also can work!!)

- i just put one tone over the whole page and set it to overlay. my stupid ass is too tired to give each hair/article of clothing a different tone (unless you wanna make ur character stand out a bit more, like all my characters right now are just gonna have normal toned hair but i wanna give taffy sandpaper toned hair)

- i try not to break up my script into pages, but instead i open a canvas, and make boxes according to how i picture it in my head!! before i used to pre-break the script into pages just to find out the pacing was weird/off and found its better to go back and forth between your script and your comic page so you can make boxes as you go if that makes sense????

- like sometimes you might wanna add an extra pause panel because one wasnt enough, or something like that, its better to just add it instead of having to go back and re-seperate your whole script again

- Clip studio has a lot of manga panel/page resources but i am too lazy to figure it all out so i just use the grid and put boxes how i want using the grid as a guide!!

- gotta decide which colors classify into which monochrome color 👁👁 mine is a little funky cuz obviously pastel pink is lighter than the orange of limes hair, yet limes hair is white in my comic and the pastel pink is a light gray..,,.,,just gotta work with your colors to make sure theres not too many similar grays right next to each other or else it gets confusing/hard to see 😭

- BIG TIP: if a panel is ugly, just accept it. dont spend 5+ hours trying to make it absolutely perfect cuz lemme tell you, you can draw a whole ass mona lisa of a panel and 90% of people will spend 2 seconds on it reading the dialouge and will just move on and forget about it cuz theyre trying to read the story. no one will notice or care it looks a little off (unless its one of those PAGE LONG panels AND/OR the pic is the main focus of the panel then yknow,,,,obviously u gotta make it nice. but if its just “i need a picture for this dialouge panel” dont worry too much. it ees what it ees.)

- figure out what process works best for you!! whether its “i sketch all my pages, then line all my pages, then color all my pages, etc” or “i do one whole page at a time and dont move on until its fully colored and texted up” or “i skip around depending on what panels i want to draw more” (me)!!!

- its a learning process!! for me too!!! im sure in a month or a year you’ll know a lot more about comic making if you make more comics!!! first page is gonna look bad anyway. just gotta power through pages like a steamboat and not look back at them and hopefully you’ll eventually get to a point where you can read your own comics without cringing (im not there yet shdhdjdjd)

- for me, making comics is just a continuous process of “this panel is ugly” and “i hope im conveying the right emotion” and “i hope the read understands this part”, and the whole time youre doing it just repeating “its fine, its fine, its fine,” over and over again until your comic is finished

- EDIT: ONE MORE!!!!!! you only need a minimum of one background panel per page just to remind the reader of the environment!!!! no need to have background on every panel!!! have some pattern/plain backgrounds too!!!

#sorry theres a lot that goes into my personal process so making a tutorial would take too long i think!! 😭😭#hope these kinda help!!!#god i worry so much about effectively communicating tcwg lore #its been in my head for so long i might forget to explain some things in the comic #yall just gonna have to roll with it and die with the questions like howls moving castle #i also always worry about the balance between magic and slice of life because this comic DOES involve a lot of magic but also a lot of NO MA #GIC episodes

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coralstudiies · 5 years

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SURVIVAL GUIDE & STUDY TIPS

hello everyone!! this post is a collab with the lovely and amazing @boinkhs because we've both reached 2k followers :D she'll be doing study tips for college students and i'll be doing study tips for high schoolers. check out her post here!

i've split this into part 1. survival, which concerns how to study & learn better in general and just tips on how to get through high school. part 2. is on specific study tips for each type of subject, namely sciences, maths, languages and humanities.

Hope this helps <3

1. Don't snooze please

you just end up snoozing 5 times then you’re late for school

2. If you find you have difficulty getting out of bed, just keep in mind ONE TASK you need to do.

for example, making your bed. then you just gotta focus on that! it should help fight the sleepiness because you’re forcing your brain and limbs to be active.

3. Do the necessary things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and eat breakfast

i don’t know why but some people don’t eat breakfast before coming to school like ???? excuse me ???? please eat at least a small snack, or a fruit or something. your body doesnt function on an empty stomach! also, drink some water to hydrate yourself

4. On the road, you should do something that puts you in a good mood.

for me, i go straight to spotify and listen to my playlist. you should also review the previous day’s learning so that you refresh your memory before going back to class. personally this is my fav part of the day HAHAHA

5. If you like, you can choose to read a book.

just make sure you’re calm but ‘warmed up’ to focusing in a sense.

1. Hydrate frequently

idk man it just keeps you awake + i dont feel so icky if i drink enough water

2. Learn actively

if the teacher asks questions, try to answer. sit at the front row. offer to help give out the worksheets or notes. clarify your doubts after. when they speak, copy down notes. don’t worry about the aesthetic; i mean you can but you need to write fast and neat which unfortunately doesnt come together very often. i suggest you spend more brain power digesting and understanding the content.

3. Don’t over highlight

ONLY KEY POINTS that are stressed by the teacher. you can tell when their tone changes, expression changes, when they use more hand motions, or they keep repeating a few key words. yes , that. highlight that. stare at it while listening to them speak. make sure you understand. if you don’t please ask. but make sure you don’t have a fluorescent page because that’s not ideal study material!

4. Write down any questions you have

if they’re answered in the lesson, cancel them off. if not, ask after the lesson. dont be scared! *sends virtual courage*

5. Use whatever free time you have to finish homework

because you’re gonna thank yourself later. you should spend more time at home revising than doing homework. ( doing homework isnt equivalent to revising PLEASE I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY REVISED FOR 3 HOURS BUT ALL THEY DID WAS HOMEWORK ) also it feels better knowing you have one less thing to worry about

6. Record down all assignments, due dates and test dates

do it in a planner or your phone. doesn’t matter just keep them somewhere. it can be demoralising to see an entire entry of shit to get done but still it’s better than not knowing what needs to be done. ignorance is NOT bliss. try to color code or symbol code them, for example • for assignments (due date behind), - for tests etc. act on this when you go home (see below)

7. Have a file/binder some form of organisation to keep different subjects’ worksheets, tests, notes, reading etc.

you can have one massive binder, one binder for each subject, one folder file for each subject or anything that suits you. for me, i clip all materials of one subject together with a binder clip. the materials i use most are at the front for easy reference. then put those bundles into zipper files, perhaps one for math and sciences, another for languages and humanities. or whatever suits you best! make sure you have everything in one place so you don’t panic and dig through a pile of dog-eared paper.

8. If you can, when it’s near the exam period, don’t stay back after school unless it’s to study.

i used to stay back for training and to play volleyball with my friends and i kid you not we would play from 2pm to 6.30 pm and get nothing done but it was fun. and i’m not saying deprive yourself of that fun but when the exams are near, you should be studying somewhere quiet/ somewhere you can focus. you should go somewhere (preferably home) where you can focus and get things done.

9. Decide if you’re a lone wolf or if you need a study buddy/study group

personally i’m a lone wolf because i hate distractions and i don’t want to distract others. but when my friends ask me for help i don’t mind staying back a little to teach them and/or study with them. Personally i find that for subjects like english which require you to write about an array of topics, studying with someone else can help in generation of essay points and to just broaden your understanding of the topic. so yeah it really depends, just do what suits you :)

10. Take notes in class

try to understand while copying, and if you didn’t understand something, you should raise your hand and ask for the teacher to repeat so that you hear it again. also, it gives you more time to take notes as they re-explain the content. read them after the lesson is over to help internalise some facts. you can create your own method of organisation for your notes, e.g. colour coding.

1. Review the day’s learning on the way home.

if you take public transport, try to flip through your notes and worksheets to review new content for the first time.

2. Eat lunch, have a snack, take a shower, everything that’s necessary.

if you use your phone while eating, make sure you don’t eat slowly just to use your phone because that’s wasting time.

3. If you’re super tired, just have a 15-20min power nap

nothing more otherwise you will NEVER wake up until the dead of night. just take a nap to get some energy back. doesnt matter if you wake up feeling more tired, because you’ll shake that feeling in a while. keep a glass of water beside you so that you can drink it once you wake up!

4. Look through your ‘list’ that you made earlier in the day. (in class, pt. 6)

you might want to spend max 10 mins updating your schedule. then stare at the dreaded homework. start with the easiest and least time consuming to build up momentum. this could actually be the remainder of what you’ve finished in school. then look at the due dates. do them in order of due dates. unless it’s a huge project or assignment, you might want a head start on it!

5. With the remaining time, you should start revising

review the day’s learning AGAIN.

make notes/mindmaps/flashcards whatever works for you. you should prioritise the subject or chapter that you were most confused about. quickly revise and try to clear up any questions you have about the chapter. if you have additional time, go ahead and make notes for the next subject! another way is going through corrections and clarifying your doubts with friends/teachers, and summarise the day’s learning on a post-it or two. if you’ve already taken notes in class, look at other sources e.g textbook and combine what you’ve learnt before re-writing or re-organising your notes.

1. Pack your bag!

remove unnecessary materials, and pack the necessary one. make sure your bag isnt too heavy. you can choose to hand carry some files or binders if they’re too bulky, but make sure you’re all packed before the next morning

2. Have a meal & clean up

again, basic necessities. don’t go to bed hungry or feeling icky because thats not how you treat yo self!

Before class:

if you’re going to continue on a chapter, review the content that came before it. Try to make your own connections between the already learnt and to-be learnt content so that you’re mentally ready for class.

In class:

take down notes, highlight, annotate and DRAW DIAGRAMS. you can’t do sciences without diagrams. for physics or chemistry which require more calculation, copy down the problems your teacher goes through and solve them along with him/her. write the formulas on a post it note so you can stick it onto the page where you’re writing for easy reference. if the teacher plays a video which is MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU you have to write only the relevant points in the most abbreviated form possible.

Note-taking:

I find that linear notes help me most in sciences. for chapters that involve lots of interconnected processes, for example o chem, then mindmaps or flowcharts will be helpful. also if you tend to forget something, post-it that stuff on the front page of your notes where you are FORCED to stare at it. yes. write down example problems and their steps, then write explanations for each step so that if you’re confused you can always refer back. again, draw any required diagrams.

Answering techniques:

if there’s a ‘standard’ way to answer it then you have to make sure you follow that way even in your homework because it’s muscle memory. when you get to exams, your hand will automatically write in the same format so you don’t lose marks or spend time recalling the correct format.

imo sciences are quite logical so as long as you remember and follow the flow you’ll be fine!

In class:

copy key terms, facts and examples and write all examples that the teacher has gone through. write all formulas and definitions on a post it, then shift it around the pages as needed. if there’s a type of problem you particularly suck at, ask your teacher for help IMMEDIATELY because it’s so easy to forget the steps to a problem.

At home:

do your homework, do additional practice, correct your mistakes, clarify, and repeat. memorise formulas and definitions (perhaps using flashcards or post its) then practice more and make sure your concepts are strong. there’s no easy way and sadly this is all i can comment.

In class:

copy down notes, think actively, and if you’re given a sample essay you should annotate the heck out of it and keep it somewhere safe.

For essays:

read up more and write up. befriend the best writer in class and ask for their essays. write essay plans and consult your teacher. brainstorm possible approaches with friends. read the news, and copy the links of interesting online articles for future reference. have a go-to list of examples and quotes you can use, for any and every topic. read these like your bedtime story and never forget to keep updating them.

For comprehension passages:

read the questions first. then you’ll be more sensitive to what you need to read in the passage and how you need to analyse it. try to question yourself about how and why the author does something or makes you feel something. do not rush-read the passage or you will fail horribly (personal experience). do one or two extra comprehensions and ask your teacher to mark them.

In class:

ARROWS TO LINK EVERYTHING and annotate any class notes given. write down new examples provided by the teacher. if there is a link you ‘can check out’ go check it out. it’s probably something thats gonna be on the exam.

At home:

you have to rely on mindmapping and flow charts because everything is linked in some way and you cannot ignore those links!!!! although i do my humanities notes in linear form, my in class notes are all in the form of mindmaps. and actually i revise from those in a pinch because i can see everything at one go. watch vids on the concepts, for example plate tectonics. those things are so hard to see when they’re deadass sitting on the page and not budging. watch a video where they really move instead of being frozen.

If you’re so frickin lost:

watch more videos on the concepts, watch more videos on the events, search up interpretations online and ask your teachers!!! for everyone who gets equally lost as me when i’m faced with a new chapter, another way is to pre-read before the teacher starts teaching. if you’re lazy to read just watch a couple clips on it so that at least you have some background. even if you wake up the next day with 0 concrete memory, which you won’t, you’ll already have the flow of things which will help you if you’re usually the straggler.

(disclaimer i study geography although i've tried history and english literature but i think that they're similar to some extent, especially on how to study them)

#study #studyblr #studying #coralstudiies #revision #study motivation #notes #study tips #study advice #studying tips #studying advice #high school #lectures #tips #advice

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luna-flow · 5 years

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Pick a card: What do you need to hear right now?

I’m back with my second pick-a-card reading! Look and choose the deck among the 6 which appeals to you the most! ✨ It is somewhat split into career/work, relationships (could be friends, family and love) and spirituality. Hopefully this resonates with you! I’ll really appreciate it if you reblog and leave a feedback too! 💕Let’s have fun!

✨ Cards reveal! ✨

Pile 1 (selenite):

Woah the energy is pretty low here. Seems like you’re exhausted, disappointments after disappointments, stress have been piling up and you feel like you can barely move now. However you really have to reflect, are some of these pressure and stress necessary and are you the one inflicting it on yourself? Go through your currently responsibilities and tasks, are all of them have be met altogether? Pause on those don’t need immediate attention on right now. Although now isn’t the time for your to reap rewards just yet, it’s the period for you to polish up your current tasks and yourself. Don’t lose hope, re-shift your priorities and tasks and don’t neglect yourself during the process.

Disappointments and heartaches are experienced but it’s all part of your journey. Acknowledge those feelings and know that it’s time for healing. Also one crucial thing, don’t do everything alone. You can still heal with the help of others. It’s okay to rely on others! Reconnect with your loved ones and friends. Fill your heart with love from them. Also, this is the period you should be extra kinder to yourself alright? Slowly build your inner strength and find support from your surroundings. Don’t be afraid to reach out.

For those looking for a more spiritual advice, now is the time to bring out your inner child! Be as curious as you can be. Be enthusiastic and energetic. Whatever you’ve been interested but never really gotten the chance to explore, now is the time to look more into it. Be more open-minded and widen your perspectives!

Pile 2 (angelite):

Gotta applaud your growth! Seems like you’ve been more toned down yet more confident. In other words, you became more mature. You aren’t as hot-headed before, yes you’re still passionate, driven and all but great that you recently attained the level of comfort and confidence within yourself. Continue with your stride and continue to put those energy on your work/career and tasks on hand. You’re on the right track. You got this.

If currently you’re feeling iffy and unsure of a certain someone, just remember to do and focus on what is right for yourself and for the relationship. Whatever you’re doing right now will have great impact of the relationship. Don’t be fickle-minded. Having a good sense of moral is important here and don’t waver on what you believe in. You’re holding on well.

Spiritually, despite being occupied with different aspects of your life, don’t forget about maintaining balance. Don’t expect yourself to be Mr or Miss Perfect. Your craft shouldn’t be too focused on one area or congested with too many things. Spread out your energy well. Remember to give yourself some space to take a break and breathe to prevent yourself getting drained and overwhelmed. What you present yourself to the world and what you truly are inside shouldn’t be too far apart.

Pile 3 (Citrine):

Ease your mind my dear. I wish I can give you a hug telling you it’s okay. Take deep breaths, don’t trust everything that’s going in your mind. Try your best to empty it and ground yourself. Don’t hide yourself anymore, come out, step by step. Don’t be afraid how other people think and how they’ll look at your work. You have the creativity, potential and talent. Focus on what you wanna do, don’t entertain to intrusive thoughts and whatever blocked energies that’s hindering your creativity. Continue to polish your talents and work. You’re a gem that’s in the middle of being polished.

It’s good that you’ve noticed and willing to work on the toxicity that you have with a certain someone. Learn as much as you can and communicate it out, ego and pride should be out of the window by now. Step by step, you’ll get out of the sticky situation. You have full control to improve it. This is a crucial learning period for you. Feel free to ask for advices from someone you feel is experienced and reliable. Everyone make mistakes and it’s your choice to learn and improve from it.

Spiritually, don’t think of what you wish you can do in the future and you can’t do. Don’t neglect your current self. Self-love, replenish yourself with positive energies and affirmations. Think of how much you’ve grown and constantly thinking of how much you can improve. You gotta give credit for yourself too. Acknowledge both your accomplishments and potential. Also some past lives here that could be related to your current challenges maybe you can explore more into that.

Pile 4 (Blue lace agate):

Your emotions are blocked at the moment. You feel like you don’t know what you want and what you feel. As if there’s no answer. There is but you’re not in the right state to access it at the moment. What have you been suppressing? Why are you in denial? Trust your gut instinct. Deep down you know whether it’s gonna work out or not. Now isn’t the time to take actions when things don’t appear transparent to you and when your mind is still fuzzy. Meditate or find ways to wind down and calm your mind to get in touch of your emotions and intuition.

Perhaps recently you have gotten too obsessed on results/success and getting what you want. Obsession bites back. You don’t always get what you want for a reason. Do you feel like you’re perhaps getting a little too materialistic and greedy? Re-evaluate on what really makes you happy, beyond the shallow wants. Think of what initially you’ve visualized and what made you feel passionate and liberated. Hints of relation of manifestation; detachment, not attachment.

Spiritually it carries a similar message. You want perfect results and happy ending. You may have idealized something. Which is also why you tend to always feel like a piece of you is missing and prevent you from feeling truly happy. Currently you have all it takes to attain self-fulfilment. Time to be grateful and appreciate what you have at the moment. Your satisfaction might be just too near for you to even realize it.

Pile 5 (Moonstone):

Don’t think too much about it and just enjoy what is presented to you at the moment! Keep your heads up and stay hopeful. Find joy in what you’re doing. Being stagnant isn’t totally bad you know. Sometimes you just have to live at the moment and not to worry too much. Don’t force yourself. Everything will be just fine. You’re overwhelming yourself my dear.

Another stagnant vibes with a relationship with someone. Take the time needed before any huge decisions. The break taken at the moment isn’t bad you know. Practicing patience now is the key. Let nature flows by its course, balance will restore by itself if you wait. Take a break and look at things from a different perspective, you might get an answer. This relationship shouldn’t jeopardize your other priorities in life. Some compromises and things may have to be given up for the better good. Perhaps it’s better this way to restore a level of peace.

Spiritually looks like you’ve attained and overcame some hills to get to where you are at right now. Don’t lose momentum, don’t bother about those criticisms from others. You are your own judge. Just don’t lose your ground, stay in your lane and keep doing what you are doing. Success attracts jealousy and conflicts but you can’t allow it to eat you up. You’re stronger than this.

Pile 6 (Rose quartz):

Now is the time for be more vigilant. Perhaps there is someone who thinks they’re smart enough to outsmart you and trick you. Beware of sabotage. Also, don’t think of breaking any rules or doing something that you shouldn’t due to your lack of foresight. Check everything, reinforce and be sure of what you wanna do. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Look for other ways to do things, be more flexible.

It’s great that you’re healing of what’s holding you back. I’m proud of you already. Your fears, doubts and anxiety are at the previous chapter, not important at the moment. Now is the time to work hard and put effort with your tasks or with whoever you wanna improve or establish a good relationship with. Being focused and committed is the key here. Continue that grinding and you’ll be reaping your rewards soon!

Spiritually, it’s time to lift your vibrations! Fill yourself and higher self with joy and love. Universe is supporting in whatever you’re doing and your path. All your dreams, your passion, your goals are all in the making. Healing and working hard at the same time. Lots of good energy here and don’t stop this drift! Busk yourself under the sunlight, pamper yourself, credit yourself, reward yourself, good self-awareness to raise all your vibrations!

#tarot #tarot readings #free tarot readings #pick a card reading #pick a card readings #tarot community #tarot cards #free tarot reading #tarot reading

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kk095 · 5 years

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Crash Landing

This story is a little different, but I hope everyone enjoys it! There may be some typos, so I may have to correct them at some point. Anyway, I hope you guys like it!

*****

Matt and Suzie were a happy couple who tied the knot 2 years ago, and have been together for 5 years. Matt was a 30 year old white man with longish brown hair that was neat and well maintained. He stood at 5’10 with a slim build, had blue eyes that were behind a pair of glasses since he didn’t like contact lenses, but it gave him a nerdy look, which Suzie was into. Matt had a decent paying job, but it was the stereotypical bland, corporate type job that was totally unfulfilling. But outside of his monotonous work life, Matt was a pilot and even had his own small plane that he recently fixed up.

Suzie was a 28 year old white woman with wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and olive skinned since she was of Italian descent on her mom’s side of the family. Suzie stood at 5’7 with a slender build, had bright white teeth that always made her smile stand out, didn’t have any tattoos but had piercings in her ears and belly button, and looked a bit young for her age. Suzie worked as a CNA in a nursing home in the next town over and hoped to go back to school to be an RN someday. Suzie was a conventionally attractive woman who many thought was out of Matt's league, but she was surprisingly down to earth and a generally pleasant person to be around.

The couple’s 2nd wedding anniversary came up, and Matt decided to take Suzie out for a ride on the plane, and then go out to a nice dinner afterwards. Suzie always thought Matt’s passion for flying to be interesting, and genuinely enjoyed going on plane rides with him. It’s a great opportunity to have quality 1 on 1 time and see the world from a different angle. Suzie has even tried to convince Matt to apply to be a commercial airline pilot, but Matt was never interested. He always felt that he’d lose his passion for flying if he did it for a living.

It was around 3:45pm when they took off that day. It was a cool, overcast day with a slight breeze, but no rain or fog, which is detrimental to flying- especially in a small plane like Matt’s. It took about 15 to 20 minutes to reach the air traffic controller’s suggested cruising altitude. There were beautiful, unobstructed views from that height, and the only noise was from the small plane’s propellers and the occasional check in from air traffic control. Out the left window, you could see miles and miles of ocean and out the right and front windows, you could see the beach and the town below.

The couple had a nice time together, but things began to change just as Matt headed back towards the airport. “This is tower 1. Check your altimeter reading. Our radar is saying you’re well above your aircraft’s ceiling.” A male voice said over the radio. Matt looked at the altimeter- which was many of the confusing looking meters in the cockpit. This particular device measures the aircraft’s altitude and the angle it’s traveling at, and has to be reset before every takeoff to ensure it’s working properly; it’s arguably one of the most important instruments that a pilot needs. Matt takes a look at the device and says “everything looks good on my end.” There’s a slight pause before the air traffic controller says “could be a radar miscue, but keep us posted the rest of the way.” Matt agrees and continues flying back towards the airport.

About 5 minutes later, the nose of the plane began pointing down slightly. Matt pulls back on the wheel, trying to point the plane back up but instead, the exact opposite starts to happen. The plane continues heading downwards, dropping several hundred feet in a short period. “is everything ok babe? Just a little drop?” Suzie asks, sensing something isn’t quite right. “I dunno. It’s like the plane doesn’t have any lift, but that shouldn’t happen at this altitude.” Matt says, trying to figure out which correction procedure to start. Matt struggled over the ensuing minutes to stabilize the aircraft’s angle, and a nosedive began. “fuck… we’re stalling!” Matt shouts urgently, realizing the problem too late. Suzie buckles up her seatbelt and white knuckles her armrests. She begins breathing heavily as she watches her husband struggle to fix the problem. “Matt…are we gonna be ok?” she asks, scared. Matt says something inaudible under his breath as he continues to frantically ameliorate their nose dive.

When their altitude decreased a bit and lift wasn’t re-established, the aircraft began to spin while continuing its plummet to the earth. Suzie closed her eyes tightly, squeezing the arm rests with all her might. “please don’t crash. Please don’t crash…” she thought to herself. While the aircraft was spinning, Matt’s glasses flew off his head and were tossed elsewhere in the aircraft. Matt began navigating the aircraft towards a vacant lot off in the distance for an emergency landing. “ok hun, this is gonna be a rough landing, but I need you to keep your eyes shut and be strong for me.” Matt says, nervous himself. Suzie nods and tells Matt she loves him, but begins to feel queasy from the aircraft’s erratic spinning.

Matt began to make preparation for a crash landing. This is something he’s trained for, but never in a million years expected to have to perform. During the aircraft’s descent, Matt was able to point the nose of the aircraft up so the bottom side of the plane would make contact with the ground. While Matt achieved the correct angle for an emergency landing and opened landing gear, he had trouble reducing speed.

What felt like seconds later, the bottom of the plane made contact with the ground in the vacant lot mentioned earlier. The plane bounced violently several times while still going forward. Suzie screamed as she was bounced around a little. The plane bounced several times, eventually ending up in a rocky area of the lot. The already violent landing because even more turbulent. Matt was shaken around quite extensively, hitting his head and neck multiple times against his seat and other surfaces. A rock flew up through the front window after being kicked up by the propeller. The rock was hurled right at Matt’s forehead and a tremendous speed, killing him instantly.

Finally, the aircraft came to an abrupt stop about a quarter mile or so after touching down. Suzie awoke minutes later after being knocked out herself. Her eyes opened slowly, and was a but groggy at first, but quickly regained her mental faculties. Her brown eyes scanned the scene out her window. She could see smoldering pieces of metal and fragments of the plane scattered across the dirt and rock covered area. “matt?” she asks before looking over at him. His face was battered and bloody from glass, the rock, and also had bruises from being thrown around. He was hard to recognize at that point, which visibly upset Suzie. “matt? MATT?!” she said, shaking him, to which she received no response. “MATT!” she screamed, realizing he wasn’t breathing- or alive for that matter. “oh my god… oh no… this isn’t happening…” she said to herself out loud, beginning to cry.

Sirens could already be heard off in the distance, with multiple reports of a plane crash being called into 911. Suzie began sobbing, holding her newly deceased husband’s hand, waiting for emergency personnel to arrive. Suzie felt a pain in her lower abdomen from the seatbelt locking up and pressing her abdomen. She also had a slight headache and felt a little nauseous, but had enough adrenaline and endorphins pumping through her to make her injuries feel tolerable.

The police department were first to arrive on scene. A female officer scurries over to the plane. “we have 2 victims- 1 male 1 female. Male is deceased and female is awake and alert.” She’s heard saying into her radio. “HE’S NOT DEAD. HE CAN’T BE! YOU GOTTA HELP HIM!” Suzie cries to the female officer. The cop tries to change the subject and talk about her injuries. “can you tell me where it hurts miss? The ambulance is almost here.” The cop says. “Matt’s dead…” Suzie cries out, not answering the officer’s question.

The fire department and ambulance arrives to the crash site about 2 minutes later. The fire department hooks up their hose to a fire extinguisher nearby and put out the small handful of fires nearby. 2 medics head over towards the plane and manage to open up the side door. “hi ma’am, we’re with Bristol County EMS. Can you tell me your name?” a female medic asks softly. “um…suzie. Suzie Carter. My husband’s Matt. Is he ok?!”suzie replied. The Male medic went to the opposite side and checked on matt. He felt for a carotid pulse, checked for respirations, and checked his pupils with a pen light. Matt was pulseless, not breathing, and had fixed and dilated pupils. The male medic discreetly shook his head at the female one, indicating Matt was a goner. “Matt? Is he ok? Is he dead?!” suzie cried out, panicked. “he’s in rough shape, but we have to focus on you for now, ok?” the male medic said, trying to reason with Suzie. The female medic placed a c-collar on Suzie and snipped the seatbelt with scissors. The medic then cut off Susie’s top, only sparing her black bra. “that’s a nasty looking bruise on your belly. Does it hurt?” the female medic asked. “um… kinda" suzie replied. The medic began palpating Suzie’s abdomen. “AHH!” Suzie yelped, wincing in pain. “abdomen’s stiff and rigid with point tenderness.” The female medic relays to the other. “what does that mean?” suzie asks. “it means you hurt your belly and we need to get you checked out at the hospital, alright?” the male medic said calmly.

Suzie is removed from the destroyed aircraft and placed onto a backboard and stretcher. The medics set up a portable heart monitor, which read unstable vitals: BP 90/55, heart rate 131 BPM, and a pulse ox of 95%. 2 large bore IVs were set up, and fluid resuscitation began. A dose of pain meds and a dose of valium were pushed do calm Suzie down in the ambulance.

In the ambulance, further examination began. Suzie's right forearm was broken, and she had a bump on her head. The female medic shined a pen light into Suzie's eyes to see if there was a head injury, but her pupils were equal and reactive. Suzie’s jeans were snipped off and her shoes were taken off, leaving her barefoot and half naked on the backboard with her bra and matching underwear only being spared. “ok Suzie, can you wiggle your toes for me?” the medic asked. “uh huh.” Suzie responded. Suzie's slender toes which were painted with black nail polish, remained perfectly still. “ok Suzie, let’s do it again.” The medic said. Once again, her toes remained still. “ok, good job.” The medic said, realizing a spinal cord injury was within the realm of possibilities. The medic then placed and o2 mask onto Suzie's face and just monitored her vitals the rest of the way.

Upon arrival to the ER, Suzie was lifted onto the trauma room table under the big overhead light while the medics rattled off information to the trauma team. “Hi Suzie, can you tell me if you passed out during the accident?” a veteran nurse asked softly. “I don’t remember.” Suzie said. “I’ll take that as a yes.” The nurse replied. Trauma labs were drawn and blood transfusions began while the attending called out orders. Chest x-rays and a FAST scan were performed. The x-ray showed a complex fracture of the right ulna, requiring surgical intervention to repair, a vertebra fracture at the L3 level, and a partially collapsed right lung. The FAST scan came back clean for the chest and pelvis, but there was a serious non-specific bleeding in the abdomen. “page ortho and surgery. I want a head, chest, abdomen CT. And let’s do a right chest tube while we’re at it.” The attending barked to his subordinates.

Suzie screamed and yelped in pain during the chest tube insertion since she was wide awake, but her o2 stats went up markedly once the tube’s placement was confirmed. A blanket was placed over her torso and she was wheeled over to radiology for a CT scan. The scan showed a small brain bleed that was thought to dissipate on its own. The spinal cord injury was confirmed, and it didn’t seem very promising since there was damage to the spine itself. In all likelihood, Suzie would be paralyzed from the waist down. The abdominal bleeding source wasn’t able to be located on the CT scan, so it was decided that she would be taken to the operating room for an exploratory laparotomy.

After being whisked upstairs into the OR, Suzie was quickly prepped for surgery. She was sedated and intubated with a 7.5 ET tube, with the tube being secured with a blue tube holder. Her belly was sterilized with betadine, staining it a brownish orange color. A midline incision was made in the attractive brunette's belly. The skin separated with ease from the sharp scalpel blade. The underlying fat, connective tissue, and muscle was cut through to expose the abdomen. A rush of blood came out of the incision upon entrance to the abdominal cavity, but before retractors could be placed. Suction was applied to the area, but it didn’t help. The retractors were placed and the opening was created. The area had to be suctioned, but it became apparent that there was extensive bleeding. The liver, spleen, IVC, and aorta were all intact, so the originally suspected culprits were ruled out. The surgical team then began the tedious task of searching through the bowel loops and mesenchymal area for injuries.

During the tedious search, Suzie's blood pressure began dropping. More blood products were hung and vasopressors were pushed, but that was simply a band aid meant to buy some time. After 2 more minutes of unsuccessful probing and prodding, Suzie’s vitals began to plummet rapidly. Meds were pushed, but she became pulseless. The abdominal surgery was paused temporarily and chest compressions were started. Suzie’s chest caved in repeatedly as it was pounded away by one of the nurses. Her perky, B cup breasts bounced and jiggled in sync with each of the compressions. On the heart monitors, PEA was displayed. Epi and atropine were injected intravenously in an attempt to obtain a shockable rhythm.

After a few cycles of unsuccessful chest compressions, the lead surgeon decided to look for the bleed once again. Suction had to he applied once more, but the doctor found a bleed in one of the mesenteric veins. A vascular clamp was placed in the meantime until the vessel could be ligated. Blood still accumulated in the abdomen, so it appeared another vessel was severed in the vicinity. While going through more bowel loops, there was significant bruising and swelling in the jejunum. Another bleed was located in a deeper mesenteric vein, and that vessel was subsequently clamped off. No additional blood accumulated in the abdomen, so it appeared all bleeding sources have been located. In the meantime, the code ensued. A 2nd round of drugs were pushed and more blood products were hung from the rapid infuser.

Finally, the monitors showed v-fib. The defibrillator paddles were gelled and charged to 200j. The defibs were then pressed up against Suzie's bare chest as everyone stepped away from the table in anticipation of the shock. Suzie’s body jolted abruptly in response to the shock, but she remained in v-fib. Chest compressions were resumed while the paddles were being readied. A moment later, a 300j shock was delivered. Suzie’s lifeless body reacted more noticeably from the stronger shock. Her back arched slightly and thrust her chest upwards, jiggling her b cup breasts. Suzie wasn’t shocked out of v-fib, so life saving efforts resumed. A nurse took over chest compressions, pumping away at the 28 year old's chest while the defibs were being recharged to 360j. The next shock was delivered about 30 seconds later, causing Suzie’s feet to leap up above the table and slam back down a second later, showing off the thick, prominent handful of wrinkles in her size 8.5 soles. Luckily, this shock converted the attractive brunette to sinus bradycardia, and surgery could continue.

The rest of the surgery was touch and go, but the OR team managed to maintain a pulse. The 2 severed mesenteric veins were successfully ligated and proper blood drainage was restored to the intestines, but post operative monitoring for blood clots was important. Next, orthopedics began their end of the surgery. Suzie’s fractured ulna was surgically reduced with a small rod and pins that were inserted directly into the bone. Lumbar fusion surgery of the L3-L4 space was performed to reduce motion in the area and prevent additional damage to the spinal cord itself.

After the surgery, Suzie was transferred to the ICU for careful monitoring. She remained sedated and intubated, but switched over to a ventilator. A catheter and central line were placed, and antibiotics were added to her cocktail of medicines since her abdomen was open for almost 5 hours. Suzie's parents and older sister arrived at the hospital about an hour and a half earlier, and were waiting in a private waiting room together.

“How is she?!” Suzie’s mom asked the trauma surgeon, teary eyed as soon as he entered the room. “she’s in the ICU and in pretty rough shape. She sustained some major internal bleeding during surgery and her heart stopped beating for 6 minutes- we were lucky to get her back. She also sustained a spinal cord injury, and it’s very possible she’ll be paralyzed from the waist down. She has a moderate head injury we're monitoring, and she also suffered a badly broken arm in the crash. I’m very sorry ma’am” the trauma surgeon said. “paralyzed?!” her mom asked, beginning to cry again. The doctor paused, then sighed before continuing. “yes ma’am. The spinal cord injury she sustained is quite serious, so it’s very possible she’ll be paralyzed. Best case scenario, she’ll have major issues with mobility.” The family paused, taking all of the bad news in. “I wanna see her.” The mom demanded. “I can take you up to see her, but I warn you- she’s sedated and hooked up to a breathing ventilator. She’s gonna look pretty beat up, so please keep that in mind, ok?” The surgeon said.

The surgeon escorts the 3 family members up to the ICU. “oh god…my poor baby…” the mom cries out, almost falling to her knees after seeing Suzie hooked up to a ventilator and connected to other equipment. Suzie was covered in abrasions, her chest was bruised from CPR, there was a large bandage on her belly covering up the closed incision, the bump on her head appeared to have gotten a little bigger, her complexion was a ghastly pale, and she was cool to the touch. Suzie’s BP and heart rate were stabilizing, but her chest tube had to be fixed a bit after surgery since it was knocked loose from the resuscitation efforts.

She remained relatively stable for the next handful of hours, but there were some changes that occurred around 3am. Her blood pressure dropped again, and her medication dosage was upped. But at 3:30, Suzie began having a seizure. Her body twitched and thrashed involuntarily on the bed as her family watched in horror. “help! SOMEONE HELP!” Suzie’s sister shouted, attracting a nurse’s attention. A few nurses and the doctor entered the room. Lorazepam was pushed intravenously to control the seizure, but it was discovered that her right pupil was blown and the left pupil was constricted. 2 minutes later, the seizure was controlled and Suzie was taken back down to radiology for a repeat head CT.

The scan showed that her brain was swelling, and that raised a major red flag with the doctors. Since her head injury had a delayed reaction that required additional care, she was taken back up to the OR to have an intracranial pressure monitor placed.

A portion of her head was shaved and the small, hairless patch was sterilized with betadine. Once the area was cleaned, an electric drill was used to create a small opening in the skull. After the opening was made, a small pressure sensitive monitor was calibrated and fed into the hole, and constant intracranial pressure monitoring began. Initially, Suzie’s ICP reading was 12mm/Hg, which is abnormal, but still below the threshold for further intervention. Anything above 0 is abnormal, but 15-20 is considered dangerous, and anything above 20 is typically fatal since the brain herniates at that point. Suzie was taken back to the ICU after the procedure was completed.

Over the next few hours, Suzie’s ICP readings increased 16 mm/Hg. At that point, the ICU team decided to put Suzie into a medically induced coma in an attempt to prevent further brain swelling and give her body a chance to recover.

Throughout the day, Suzie only showed signs of getting worse despite the doctor’s best interventions. Her ICP monitor was displaying 17 mm/Hg, but her pupils were fixed and dilated. After a neurology consult and an eeg, it was determined that Suzie was brain dead. The attending physician delivered the bad news to Suzie’s family, and they decided to remove her from the ventilator. Suzie was surrounded by her family and was pronounced dead at 8:21am.

After the ICU team gave her family a chance to grieve and say goodbye, they went into the room and began removing equipment from her battered, lifeless body. The EKG electrodes were disconnected, the IVs were removed, all monitors were shut off, and her body was covered up, only leaving her feet exposed. A toe tag was filled out and placed. The tag dangled in front of Suzie’s wrinkly soles as she was taken to the hospital morgue.

Suzie’s cause of death was determined to be brain herniation from the head injury she sustained. The brain injury was moderate at first, but had a delayed onset and grew progressively worse. The cause of the plane crash was investigated over the following weeks, and the cause was determined to be calibrating the altimeter wrong, and ended up at a higher altitude than the plane was made to fly in, so the plane stalled. Overall, this was a preventable accident that led to the deaths of 2 young people.

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allie1804-fan · 4 years

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New Beginnings (Chapter 11)

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

Warnings:mentions of babyloss

For the remaining weeks of the pregnancy Emily and Keanu made a pact to check in every day on how they were each feeling. Their short-hand was to say whether they were at O (Optimistic) or SS (Scared Shitless) or maybe somewhere in between. A day wasn’t to go by when they didn’t check in on their status.

Emily continued to work until her 36th week after which it became too much to sit in a writers’ room all day long. She needed rest for her brain and body. Keanu was still training but he’d cut down a little so he had more free time to spend with Emily as well as run her to appointments and oversee the decorating work to transform one of the guestrooms to a nursery.

The day after the session with the counsellor he’d hired a van and collected the crib and other equipment from his mother’s house determined to stop thinking of everything he did as a potential jinx.

Midwife appointments were weekly from week 34 – that was a little more than the norm but they both needed that reassurance as the baby’s movements got less with time – quite a normal pattern but not easy to deal with in their situation.

At the childbirth classes, Keanu was visibly more relaxed as well which helped Emily feel she could join in with conversations rather then hover on the edges to protect him. At one session the leader asked the parents to share their fears. Emily could sense Keanu visibly tensing and she caught his eye, subtly shaking her head and he nodded his agreement knowing exactly what she meant. Their main fear was the same and they had no desire to freak the hell out of everyone else there. They could just agree with someone else’s comments.

As they worked round the room, the leader asked Claire and Aiden, a couple Emily had liked from the beginning but not really talked to much, how they were feeling.

“well I really don’t want to bring everyone down”, Aiden said “but our biggest fear is that our baby dies, because our first was stillborn”

There was a sharp intake of breath from some and a sigh of relief from Keanu and Emily!

When it came to them, Keanu was able to say “We’re on the same page as Claire and Aiden and I think they’re really brave to share it in a room like this. I lost my daughter to stillbirth 21 years ago and we had an ectopic pregnancy last year, so yeah, that’s our biggest fear too. Rationally I’m confident it won’t happen but that doesn’t entirely stop the fear”

He looked at Emily who was kind of thunder-stuck to hear him share so openly with a group of strangers. He was so private normally but she knew speaking its name was a big part of helping him conquer the fear. She squeezed his hand and whispered ‘I’m so proud of you’ in his ear.

When the session was over, everyone stood chatting and Keanu went over to Claire and Aiden

“Listen, we were planning on grabbing a bite to eat after, do you fancy joining us? I know a place where they do really good noodles”

Aiden burst out laughing.

“’Really good noodles’ like in the Matrix?” he asked making air quotes.

Keanu chuckled, only then realising what he’d just said.

“Oh yeah sure - you remember that line?”

“Man every time I have noodles I think of it - am I too much of a Matrix nerd to have dinner with you two?”

“Nah, no man, it’s cool - and thanks”

Emily caught Claire’s eye and rolled her eyes skywards, smiling broadly at Aiden geeking out with Neo!

They headed over to the Jinya Ramen bar and had a good time getting to know each other a little better. Keanu repeated how brave he thought Aiden had been to speak up.

“I mean I was sitting there thinking “death man, death is my fear but that’s gonna fuckin freak them all out so I’ll just say some generic crap and then you were like ‘bam’

Aiden laughed.

“the things is, it really is my only worry and I thought, you know what, shit happens and people are scared of it so let’s just cut the crap and stop pretending!”

“Fair enough” Keanu agreed

“But you were brave too, being who you are, to just open up like that”

Keanu took a gulp of his beer

“Yes I don’t quite know what got into me, that was err, most unprecedented!”

They all burst out laughing then, recognising the Bill and Ted quote.

“Yes way” Aiden said clinking his beer to Keanu’s who grinned back thinking to himself “I like this guy”. Emily looked on, secretly thinking ‘bromance!’

By week 37, they were basically at the clock watching stage. Everything was ready and Emily spent most of her time reading, watching TV or sleeping. If Keanu was home when she took a nap, he’d join her and spend the time stroking the bump or leaning his head against it talking softly to the little one who’d usually make his or her presence known with a little shove of one if its limbs. Sometimes they’d kiss and pleasure each other though Emily was struggling to move easily so everything was tender and low key rather than intense. Neither of them really minded, their focus was all on meeting their child in just a few weeks.

Chloe had organised a Baby Shower, the hospital bag was packed and ready, the nursery was waiting stocked with nappies and neutral coloured baby-grows and a sort of birth plan was ready but they both knew they would have to go with the flow on that one.

“control what you can, like a playlist and speaker, your snacks, what t shirt you’ re going to wear and have an idea of your other intentions like pain relief and so on but just go with the flow on the day” was Chloe’s wise advice.

Through weeks 38 and 39, Emily had lots of false alarms when the Braxton Hicks contractions felt like they were the real thing beginning but still nothing materialised. They were well into week 40 when things actually got started.

It was mid morning on a Wednesday and while Keanu had confirmed that the contractions were in fact regular and he’d let the hospital know, they wouldn’t have to go in until 1 minute long contractions had been coming every 5 minutes for at least an 1 hour. For now it was every 10 minutes but varying in length and intensity. Emily chose the living room to either lie down or pace or sit on a birthing ball or hang onto Keanu’s broad shoulders to help breathe through the pain. At its worst, it felt like a really bad period pain or indigestion for now so mostly she could cope on her own and that’s kind of how she preferred it. She felt a bit like an animal, wanting to go into a quiet corner and have her baby out of sight of everyone!

By lunchtime, the pains were definitely getting more intense but still only coming every 8 minutes. Keanu made them a sandwich then at around 2 she got her maternity swimming costume on and spent an hour floating in the pool. The sensation was soothing - they were hoping it would still be possible to use a birthing pool at the birthing centre but it wasn’t guaranteed. It would depend on her condition and if they were all in use by other mothers. Even Keanu’s money couldn’t guarantee a pool unless they had done it at home and neither of them had been of a mind to do that - they wanted every medical expert right on hand.

As evening was falling, the contractions actually seemed a little milder and were still only at 8 minute intervals so they ordered pizza take out. Later on Emily had a bath and to her annoyance, things were still no further on come bedtime so they settled in for the night wondering if she would sleep at all.

4am Thursday morning

Emily woke with a start as a strong contraction tightened her stomach and made her groan with pain. Keanu sat up straight away – he’d been sleeping but only very lightly at her side all night and so was quickly fully awake.

“was that a big one?”

Emily nodded but didn’t speak since she was managing the pain by slowly breathing through it, kneeling up slightly and grabbing onto the headboard of the bed.

She relaxed when it was over thinking there’d be a few minutes wait for the next one but it seemed to hit very quickly and she shot Keanu a nervous look.

Breathlessly she asked Keanu to get his phone to check the gap.

“Fuck that was just 4 minutes he said, wide eyed as the next one came “ we gotta go”

Fortunately, she hadn’t got into nightwear, so they just needed to slip on some shoes, grab the bag, get in the car and go. Keanu was still a little freaked out that they had missed the 5 minute gap point but he knew in his rational mind that 4 minutes was what most advice said and they’d simply gone with 5 minutes to be super cautious! And it was still early and pre rush hour so there wouldn’t be any traffic.

As they set off and Emily gripped onto the door handle as another contraction hit, she joked

“just don’t drive like John Wick or Jack Traven OK!”

“No mam” he grinned glad of her lightening the mood just a little.

The empty streets and soft grey light across the city helped to calm them both down and within half an hour they were pulling into the birthing centre car-park.

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

#keanu #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #having a baby

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trashyswitch · 4 years

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The Teasy, the Quiet, and the Vulnerable!

Jackieboy Man sees Chase playing FNAF Help Wanted on his VR headset. Marvin is also there, watching the headset's recording on a laptop in the background. Jackie, being the evil guy he is, decides to torment Chase and take advantage of his temporary blindness to reality.

It features some minor spoilers for FNAF: Help Wanted, so a bit of a disclaimer for that. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy!

Chase Brody had turned on his VR Headset, and was playing the game Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted. Marvin was watching the recording action on a laptop in the background.

"I don't know what to pick now! I've done all the main FNAF games once already, and I don't wanna go for the vent levels yet." Chase muttered, currently looking through the different options on the video game.

"What's Parts and Services?" Marvin asked. Chase clicked the right arrow a few more times, allowing the tablet options to circle around again before reaching the options Marvin mentioned.

"Uuuh...I don't know. Wanna try?" Chase asked.

"Yeah! Try it!" Marvin replied.

"Okay." Chase decided. Chase clicked on the first level, and waited for the circle to completely load with 100% pizza in the circle.

Suddenly, the screen faded into black, before instructions showed up on the screen. Then, the instructions faded before revealing the first animatronic.

[Welcome to Parts and Services.] the game narrator said.

Chase just dropped his jaw at the size of the robot.

"You are HUGE! HOW IN THE WORLD- If you were standing on you 2 feet, YOU'D BE TOWERING ME!" Chase reacted.

[First we must access his harmonization module located inside his secondary throat pipe. To access the throat pipe, both eyes must first be removed.] The narrator explained.

Chase's eyes widened. "We're taking it apart?!...I mean that's cool and all, but these things are known for being deadly!" Chase reacted.

"Should've thought about that before buying the game, Chase..." Marvin teased.

"Shut up, ya bystander." Chase shot back at Marvin.

Chase began to focus on removing the first eye. He slowly, carefully, removed it from its eye socket. Success!

Chase let out a sigh of relief.

[Put the left eye in the cleaning receptacle to your left.]

Chase followed the instructions, and dropped it in. As it roared, more dialogue came up:

[Well done. Now firmly grip Bonnie's right eye and remove it from its socket.]

"This is so odd. I'm literally taking an animatronic apart." Chase said as he carefully removed the right eye.

[Deposit the right eye in the cleaning receptacle on your right.]

"Chase followed the guide and dropped it in.

[Good job. To open Bonnie's faceplate carefully, press the two buttons located on either side of Bonnie's jaw. When done correctly, you should hear two small clicks.] The narrator explained.

"Okay." Chase said, reaching his controllers up to the red buttons on either side of the blue jaw. "one..." Chase mumbled, clicking the left button first. "...and-" Chase said, clicking the second button.

Suddenly, a loud opening sound could be heard as the face plate unhinged itself from the skeleton underneath. Chase jumped and shouted in response.

Marvin jumped and gasped as well, but bursted out laughing at Chase's reaction.

"Ohohoho GOHOHOD NOHO! I HATE THIS!" Chase shouted, laughing uncomfortably.

[-Bonnie's harmonization module.] The narrator spoke, still talking despite Chase's inability to focus. [Press the blinking button inside Bonnie's secondary throat pipe to enter calibration mode.] The narrator continued.

"I'm guessing it's this middle button here?" Chase asked out loud. Chase reached his remote up to the button and pressed it. Immediately, the strings on the guitar started playing one by one! Chase immediately began playing air guitar.

"Yeah! Play it, Bonnie!" Chase yelled.

"Oh, something's loose..." Marvin commented, hearing a loose string sound, that stuck out like a sore thumb.

[Something is not right.] The narrator commented.

"Yeah, no shit." Marvin reacted. Chase froze and paused his air guitar moves upon realizing he was supposed to listen.

"Wait, what?! I didn't-" [One of those notes is out of tune.] The narrator interrupted. [You may push the button again to play the audio check.] The narrator further instructed.

"Okay, good. Cause I wasn't listening." Chase admitted, before clicking the button again. All 5 strings began playing one by one again, with the second-to-last sound appearing to be out of tune.

"Okay...I think it's this one?" Chase said out loud, turning the yellow tuning knob. [Press the blinking button now, to verify your work.] The narrator explained. Chase clicked the button and listened to the tuning...now 2 of the notes were out-

Bonnie's endoskeleton jumped right at Chase's screen! "AAAAAAAAH! OH MY GOD! BONNIE, YOU PICKY PIECE OF SHIT! COME ON!" Chase shouted, jumping about 3 feet into the air.

{TAKE 2}

[One of these notes is out of tune. You may push the button-]

"I know! You don't have to re-explain it, narrator! I got this!" Chase yelled out loud. Then, Chase began to play the individual chords with his remote finger. "...Uuuuh...This one?" Chase asked out loud, turning the first blue note before 'verifying his work'. "Dammit, I feel like this- GAAAAAAHAHAHA! OH, FUCK YOU! WHERE'S THE MIDDLE FINGER OPTION WHEN I NEED IT?!" Chase shouted, getting jump-scared again.

Marvin bursted out into even more laughter, clenching his stomach as he fell backwards onto his back. "YOHOHOU HAHAVE YOUR OWN FINGER, YOU KNOW!" Marvin reminded.

"Oh yeah!" Chase reacted, before letting his remote dangle and shooting the video game an invisible middle finger. "Fuck you!" Chase added.

{TAKE 3}

"Come on...This has GOTTA be it...Chase said, clicking the last tuning knob on the right. [Press the blinking button now, to v-] "I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Chase shouted, clicking the button and listening to the chords. They finally sounded correct! [Great job.] The narrator cheered. "Yay!" Chase cheered. [Bonnie is in tune, and ready for his solo. Let's close him up.] The narrator encouraged.

"Gosh, this reminds me of Jack's Surgery Squad videos! 'Let's close it up.' Fuckin' JEFF!" Chase reacted. [Simply replace both eyes in the same order that you removed them. Then close up the face plate and we'll call it a day.] The narrator explained.

"Oh god...Okay. So, left then right?" Chase asked. He placed the left eye into the left socket, and paused to cover his face, in case another jump scare occurred. After a couple seconds of being in the clear, Chase took in a deep breath and placed the second eye in the second socket.

[Well done. That concludes your Parts and Services tasks. See you next time.] The narrator said.

Chase took off his headphones and placed them around his neck. "Yes! I did it! I'm a robot technician now!" Chase cheered.

"Good job, Chase! A round of applause for Chase's determination!" Marvin cheered. Chase smiled and flexed his muscles in a very modest fashion, to show off his bravery.

"Ooh! What's this I hear?" A familiar voice said behind Chase.

Marvin smiled and waved. "Hi Jackie! Chase just beat the first Parts and Services level!" Marvin explained.

"Wow! Congratulations Chase!" Jackie said with a smirk.

"Thanks Jackie." Chase said, sensing a bit of cockiness in the superhero's voice.

"What? You think you can do better?" Chase asked, turning around to where Jackie's voice was.

"No, no! I wanna see how far you can get! I'm genuinely curious!" Jackie reacted, putting his hands up in arrest, as to not offend anybody.

"Well, considering the first level took 3 tries to get right, I'd like to see how this goes." Marvin added. Chase rolled his eyes inside the headset and turned around to face the menu screen in the headset.

"Okay. let's move onto level 2. But first: I felt a pair of-" Chase said, before turning his head to the right. Chase looked around the background, and looked at the door frame. Specifically though, Chase was gazing his eyes on the outline of an animatronic in the corner of the room. "...eyes...staring...at me- Welp, that's not creepy at all..." Chase reacted.

"UUUUH- WHAT IS THAT?!" Marvin shouted, completely unaware that the figure even existed until now. The animatronic appeared to look like some kind of bunny, with a yellowish outline color and a pair of glowing purple eyes. It looked like it was waving at Chase.

"I don't know..." Chase admitted. He started waving his remote at the see-through being. "Hi there! Having fun stalking me?...That's good." Chase said, interacting with the bunny before clicking onto the Chica level.

"Alright. Let's see what this level has in it...Other than Chica, of course." Chase commented before clicking the 'start game' button.

[Welcome back to Parts and Service.] The narrator started.

"Oh god, you are thicc! DAMN BOI! DAMN, HE THICC AS FUCK!

[Sounds like Chica has been rummaging around the kitchen again.] The narrator continued.

"Look! He's covered in pizza! What in the world were you doing?" Chase asked.

[-and place it in the refuse bin.] The narrator explained, still going. Despite his talking over the instructions, he was able to hear the instructions.

"What have you been doing in the kitchen Chica? Making cupcakes with Chica Fischbach?" Chase asked, referring to Markiplier's golden retriever dog, who was also named Chica.

Marvin giggled at the question.

Chase began removing the pieces of pizza just covering the animatronic. Chase removed a pizza from the outside of Chica's belly. "There ya go! No more pizza on your tum-tum!" Chase cooed. Next, Chase removed the pizza from Chica's knee. "Now why is there a pizza in your knee? That's a strange spot for a pizza." Chase commented. Lastly, Chase removed the pizza from the side of Chica's head. "All done!" Chase said.

[Good job. Make sure Chica is not hiding any other treats, in her beak. To open her beak, carefully press the two buttons located on the sides of Chica's head.] The narrator instructed.

"Oh, so it's just like Bonnie?...Okay. Hopefully I don't get jump scared this time." Chase commented before clicking the left button and the right button on the side of Chica's jaw. Chica's beak opened with its head tilted this time! Chase jumped yet again. Immediately after, creepy crawly sounds could be heard in Chase's headphones. "Ew! Ew ew ew ew EW! What is that?!" Chase yelled.

[Oh no. It looks like Chica has picked up some unwanted friends.] The narrator explained.

"Oh my god! Ewww! What did you get yourself into, Chica?! that's disgusting!" Chase reacted.

[-Chemi-spray, to Chica's exterior. Press the button under the hanging canister, to activate the chemi-spray.] The narrator instructed.

"Uh- you mean this?" Chase asked as he brought his remote-controlled finger up to the red button on the left of his screen.

He clicked the red, flashing button. [Avoid inhaling the chemi-spray. Exposure to cleaning, disinfecting, and maintenance chemicals may result in respiratory problems, skin, or eye irritation.] The narrator warned.

"Well, jokes on you! This is Virtual Reality! Meaning, I'm not getting effected!" Chase yelled, throwing his hands up and yelling "Health issues" to the world.

Marvin laughed at Chase, and gave Jackie a nod.

[Good job. Now reattach Chica's upper arm, hand, and cupcake plate.] The narrator further instructed.

"Alright. How did you lose your arm, Chica?" Chase asked before removing his headset. He looked at Marvin with a smile. "Chica's over here, lookin' like Bethany Hamilton." Chase joked. Marvin rolled his eyes, but smiled as he shook his head. Chase put his headset back on and grabbed Chica's arm with his remote. Then, as he connected the upper arm to the shoulder joint, the arm moved itself into the usual cupcake-serving position. To end it off, Chase placed the cupcake plate onto Chica's open serving hand.

Suddenly, the creepy-crawly sound started up again!

[Oh no! It looks like Chica needs another dose of the chemi-spray. Do not let the infestation spread.] The narrator exclaimed.

"Ewww! Not again! Come on, Chica! Stop picking up bugs!" Chase reacted.

Chase reached up to touch the button with his remote-

"Hehehehey! Quihihihit ihihit!" Chase giggled as he brought his arm down and trapped the hand in the armpit. "Whohoho's tiihihicklihihing mehehehe?!" Chase asked.

"It's not me." Marvin admitted.

"It's not me either." Jackie said, standing right beside him.

"Jahahackie? Ihis thahat yo- AAAAHAHAHAHA!" Chase shouted, leaning forward with his headset still on. "IHIHI DIHIHIHIDN'T PREHEHESS THEHEHE BUHUHUHUTOHOHON!" Chase yelled at him.

Jackie smirked and removed his hand. "Well? What are you waiting for? Click the button!" Jackie encouraged.

"Buhuhut your gonna tihihickle mehehehe..." Chase complained.

"Who is? I'm not the one doing this. You must be feeling ghosts." Jackie lied.

"Quihihit fuhuhuckin' around with mehehe!" Chase yelled.

"I'm not! I'm sitting around, watching you try and reach the button!" Jackie insisted.

Chase chewed on his bottom lip. The tickling was really messing with him. But, Chase decided to brave it and hope and pray this was the last instruction. Chase reached up, and managed to click the button to activate more chemi-spray. But, as soon as the button was pushed, a few fingers began tickling his outreached armpit again.

Chase immediately brought his arm down. "NAAhahahaha! Jahahahackie! youlittleshihihihihit!" Chase giggled.

"How am I a little shit- I'm literally doing nothing!" Jackie protested as he tickled his armpit more.

"Yehehehes yohohou ahahahare! Yohohou're suhuch a fuhuhuckin' lihihihier!" Chase shot back. [Return the cupcake to Chica's plate.] The narrator instructed in the background. But Chase was too busy trying to remove a pair of arms out of his ticklish armpit!

Jackie gasped. "Come on, Chase...Now THAT was uncalled for." Jackie reacted sarcastically. Jackie looked at the screen and smirked. "Chase! You have to pick up the cupcake! He's running around loose!" Jackie warned.

"Yohoho're TIHIHIHICKLIHING mehehe!" Chase protested.

"You have a second hand! Use it!" Jackie reminded him. Chase decided to reach out to attempt to pick up the cupcake. But suddenly, another pair of fingers placed themselves into Chase's other armpit! Now BOTH armpits were being attacked! "AAAAAH! GAAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIHIT!" Chase shouted, helplessly curled in as the cupcake began running around on the headset screen.

"Stop what? Who's tickling you? And why now, of all times? You're gonna lose the game!" Jackie replied, acting completely oblivious to the tickle treatment he was giving the man.

"LEHEHET MEHEHEHE GOOHOHOHO YOU LYHYHYING BAHAHASTAHAHAHARD!" Chase shouted.

Suddenly, Chica jumped at the screen and made a loud, shrieking sound!

"AAAAAAHAHAHA! OKAHAHAY, OHOHOKAHAHAHAY! IHIHI'M DEHEHEAD, LEHEHET MEHE GOHOHOHOHO!" Chase begged.

"Oh really? Well in that case:" Jackie said, before nodding to Marvin to save the game from the laptop. After the game was saved, Jackie clicked the off switch on the headset. "Let's hear that special laugh of yours." Jackie teased before moving his fingers. Jackie placed his fingers on the front of Chase's ribcage, and began digging and wiggling his fingers on Chase's bottom ribs at the front of his body.

"EEEEEEK! NOOOHOHOHO! JACKIE, PLEHEHEHEHEASE!" Chase begged.

"Come on, where's that special spot that makes you REALLY squeal?" Jackie asked. Chase only continued to laugh and squirm, refusing to answer. Then, it clicked! "Oh yeah! It's right here!" Jackie replied before lightly digging into another spot: the costal arch. Jackie learned this medical term from Schneeplestein. Basically: it was the V-shaped separation underneath the sternum of the rib cage. But, Jackie liked to call it: the outline of his abs.

Either way: Chase literally shrieked! Then, he started snorting and cackling at the same time!

"JAHAHACKIE! *snort* NOHOHO! *snort* NUUUUUUHUHU! *snort* EEEHEHEHEHE-*snort* EEHEEHEEHEEHEHEHEHE!" Chase barely got out through his giggles and disruptive snorts.

Marvin must've walked up closer to Chase, because Marvin's voice had gotten louder and much more closer! "What- Where are you even tickling him?! I legitimately can't tell." Marvin asked.

Jackie paused his tickling and brought his hand over to Marvin. "I'm tickling right here. Right on the ribs' ligaments." Jackie explained, giving Marvin's costal arch a quick tickle before returning to Chase.

"Eehehe! That's such a weird spot! How-" Marvin reacted.

"I found out about it while I was explaining a combat story!" Jackie explained.

"TOHOHOHOO TIHIHIHICKLYYYYY! *snort* IHIHI- *snort* IHIHI'M GOHOHONNA DIHIHIHIE! *snort* HAHAHAHAHA!" Chase begged as much as he possibly could through his giggles and snorts.

Jackie nodded and gave Chase a break. Chase giggled and just fell forward onto his knees. As soon as he gained a bit more strength, Chase removed the headphones and the headset and placed them down on the ground harder than he expected.

"Wait, how did the discovery happen?" Marvin asked, not fully understanding what exactly happened.

"There was a battle I was a part of, against some kind of buff man with an axe. After I knocked the axe out of his hand, the man got all angry and jabbed his clawed nails into my abdomen." Jackie explained. "When I reenacted the attack-" Jackie reenacted the claw-jab for Marvin as well, making sure to add in the slight shakiness of the buff man's hand. "-Chase started giggling and just flopped onto the ground. I actually had to repeat the move a few times, to understand that: 'wow! This is actually a tickle spot!'." Jackie further explained. "Now only that, but Chase started snorting as I scratched there, but especially when I scratched the v-shaped arch of his ribcage." Jackie added.

"Huh...That's really weird!" Marvin reacted. Marvin walked himself up to Chase, and gently laid him onto the ground.

"Whahat are you doing? You'd behehetter not be trying tohoho tickle mehehe again..." Chase warned.

"No no no. I'm not planning on tickling you. No, no no. I'm putting my master plan of tickling you, into session right now!" Marvin replied.

"Nohoho! Please dohon't- EEEEEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chase shouted, flailing about as his rib cage was attacked again. Marvin dug his fingers on the top part of the arch, and crawled his fingers down the arch towards the front of his bottom ribs.

"Wow! This arch must've costal-lot of money!" Marvin joked. Chase groaned through his laughter.

"THAHAHAHAT *snort* WAHAS SOHO *snort* SOHOHOHO BAHAHAD!" Chase yelled through his laughs and snorts.

"Awww...Too puny for you?" Marvin asked.

Chase nodded his head as he attempted to push Marvin's hands away. Marvin paused his hands for a moment, and pulled out his magic wand. Using the magic wand in his right hand, he created a left-handed leather glove. Marvin turned his hand around and showed Chase the silver, nail-shaped claws attached to the tips of the fingers. Next, Marvin used his magical finger to give his right hand a leather glove with claws as well!

Marvin put his magic wand away and wiggled his fingers evilly. Chase's eyes just widened in suspense and anxiety.

"Ohohohoho nohohoho! Thohose look sohohoho scary!" Chase whimpered nervously.

"Ohoho...I know..." Marvin said, giggling in a deep, evil voice. Marvin wiggled his nailed gloves until they finally touched down to his abdomen and the front of his ribs.

"EEEEEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA! PAHAHAHAWS OHOHOHOHOFF PAHAHAHAWS OHOHOHOHOFF!" Chase shouted, pushing him away desperately.

"Paws off? But these aren't paws! These are gloves! They're cat gloves, to be exact. Raaaawwr!" Marvin teased, curling his fingers like cat claws to be more cat-like.

"NAAHAHAHAHA! GOHOHO RAHAHAHAWR AHAHAT SOHOHOHOMEOHOHONE EHEHEHELSE!" Chase yelled.

"But there's NO ONE here! You're the only person I can really RAWR at! So, I'll just RAWR at you. RAAAAAWWWWRRR!" Marvin growled like a cat, scritchy-scratching his upper arch.

"DAHAHAHAHAMN IHIHIHIHIT! YOHOHOHOU'RE SOHOHOHO WEHEHEHEHEIRD!" Chase shouted in retaliation.

"I mean, I'm a cat...Being weird is kinda my thing." Marvin explained.

Chase, not knowing what else to do, let out a hiss that sounded similar to a cat.

Marvin gasped and removed his fingers before putting a hand over his mouth. "Did-Did Chase just hiss at me?! Are you turning into BB?! Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Marvin reacted, squealing and smiling widely at the cute man in front of him.

Chase continued to giggle as he took advantage of the break and took in deep breathes.

"Though as much as it was cute, hissing is always considered rude. So, I'm gonna need to punish you for that!" Marvin suggested before placing his gloved fingers back onto Chase's costal arch.

"NOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! IHIHIHI'M SOHOHOHORRY! SOHOHORRY! JUHUHUHUST STAHAHAHAP!" Chase pleaded through his hysterical laughter.

"That was a bad boy!" Marvin demanded, poking his belly as he yelled the following words: "Bad, Boy!". "Bad boys need tickles!" Marvin teased. As Marvin's fingers got to the bottom of the arch, it was all over.

Chase proceeded to get completely wrecked for his 'bad habit' of hissing, as Marvin called it. Marvin took complete advantage of Chase's ticklish spots, and discovered a few more along the way! In the end, Chase's FNAF game got pushed aside for a while. All because Jackie couldn't keep his ticklish paws off Chase's stomach while he was blind to reality.

#ticklefic #virtual reality #five nights at freddy's help wanted #lee!chase #ler!jackie #ler!marvin

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experimentaldata · 5 years

Text

When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go

A Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood fic. 2748 words. Rated T - Smoking and alcohol mentions, war mention, mild language. Set in Season 1 roughly, pre Maes-Hughes-you know what.

6:00 PM = Ed

It was raining again. He hated the rain.

Not as much as the Colonel, of course. It’s not like it rendered him totally useless. But losing his limbs had turned him into a human barometer. Each drop in the pressure meant that his stumps ached, and the the pain usually lasted until the weather changed. He’d woken up the night before from the pain, then slept uneasily until it was time to report for duty that morning, careful not to stir. He didn’t want Al to see how much it hurt him. Al had enough to worry about as it was. And he’d only blame himself. Ed could see the looks Al gave him when he thought he wasn’t looking. So he’d stayed still, and gotten up like he normally did, exuding only his typical amount of grumpiness. Thankfully, their day hadn’t involved a lot of moving around. They’d spent it in the East City library, reading and re-reading alchemy texts until Ed’s eyes ached almost as much as his arm and leg. Lieutenant Hawkeye had borrowed the Colonel’s car to drive them back to their hotel room, and left them with a picnic box for dinner, courtesy of the Hughes.

Ed ate the entire crock of chicken soup and four whole wheat rolls despite himself. It had been a long day, and the warmth from the food sank into every crevice, warming him inside and out. He described the taste to Al, who added it to the “to eat after my body’s back” list. The pain receded to the background as he ate. In its absence, he felt hollowed out - the tension keeping him on alert had finally let loose. Then it hit him. The wall he had held up all day against fatigue was finally breached. That darned soup. He told Al not to wait up for him, he was just gonna finish some research in their room. And he tried, he really did. Sprawled out on the bed, his jacked and boots tossed over the chair in the corner, he willed his eyes to stay open. Just one more page. Maybe chaper 5 of Complete Biological Processes for Alchemists would have the answer. Maybe if he held his head up. Loosened his collar. Put his head on his arm. Rested his eyes just for a second.

8:00 = Al

Al hadn’t heard from Ed in awhile. He wondered how long it would take him to fall asleep. Ed thought he could hide it, but Al knew it had been a bad pain day. He always knew. It must’ve been really bad for him to go to bed this early--usually he stayed up at least until he had eaten dessert. The double slice of cherry pie Mrs. Hughes had packed was still on the table though, next to the bottle of milk, both untouched. Al could only imagine how warm and fragrant that pie was. He scribbled a note about it in his food journal, then went to go check on his brother. As he suspected, Ed was sprawled out face-down on the bed, his head laying on his right arm. His shirt was hiked up a bit from tossing and turning, and one of his socks had fallen to the floor. Al shook his head. Sleeping with his tummy out again. And no blanket. He crossed the room softly and laid the blanket from his bed over his brother. Ed didn’t move. Out like a light, he thought.

He sat down in the chair by Ed’s bedside. It would be nice to sleep himself. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to fall asleep. He remembered so much about what it was like to have a body - he could imagine the taste of foods he’d tried before, the feeling of his favorite clothes and blankets, even smells he liked. Falling asleep, however, was a memory that eluded him - it was something you felt by not feeling anything, after all. But about a year into heir quest to get their bodies back, he had developed a work-around. He couldn’t sleep anymore, at least not like other people. But he could dream. It had started as small bursts of deja vu during the lonely nights he spent watching over Ed. Over time, he had figured out how to enter his memories at will each night, reliving them in a daze until he lost track of time. It wasn’t quite as good as sleeping, but it took him away from this body, and this strange place they were living, if only for a few hours. He leaned back in his chair and looked inward, calling up whatever memory his soul decided to play back for him tonight. And then Winry walked into the classroom, and those boys were teasing her, and he was telling Ed not to--

10:00 = Riza

Riza felt like a frayed rope. The week had been meetings on top of PT exams on top of paperwork Roy forgot to file. She’d strangle that man, Colonel or not, one of these days. All he had to do was sign his name and save the both of them from a week of heartache and a note to his file. But that might get in the way of his sucking-up time. Stupid state dinners, that sort of thing, she thought with a laugh. She poured herself another ounce of bourbon and sighed. It was getting late. Black Hayate was curled up in her lap, twitching in his sleep every so often. Probably hunting rabbits in his sleep, she thought with a smile. At least one man in my life never lets me down.

She took a long sip of her drink and sighed, letting her head sink into the back of the chair. No end in sight to all this chaos. Roy’s ambitions of becoming Fuhrer and current position as colonel meant he was forever in strategy meetings, personnel conferences, and diplomatic events. And he always wanted the hawk’s eye there to watch his back. She could read a room faster than he could blink, and their five-minute post-meeting conferences proved more useful than weeks of departmental consulting. Never mind that she had her own men to attend to, and that she was stuck cleaning up the mess after Roy was inevitably late with something, again. And he wonders why I drink, she thought. Well, that was one reason. There were other reasons why she needed help from a bottle to sleep at night. But she wasn’t going to dwell on that. No need to remember the past, in all its technicolor gore and misery. That was then. This was now. Now was a fireplace, and an armchair, and Black Hayate snoring, and her clock chiming - ten o’clock already? Better head to bed, then. Early morning PT drill tomorrow, and she had some new recruits to beat some sense into. Slowly, she peeled herself up from her chair, swaying slightly as Black Hayate jumped down off her lap. She laughed at his little sleepy whine and--was that a hiccough? Damn. She’d had more than she thought. Oh well. Her head was going to hurt tomorrow regardless. She slunk back to her bedroom, undressed down to her undershirt and threw herself into bed.

12:00 = Jean

What a night. First the cafe, a delectable steak and an even more delectable date. Damn, he thought, flipping over onto his back and pulling the blanket up. She was so hot. His eyes danced across the void of the ceiling as he traced the memory. From the cafe to that dive bar, where she had impressed him with both the quality of her conversation and the quantity of shots she could take down. She could drink him under the table, he thought, if they were going for that. But this was a Thursday night, so they left the bar and went instead to...a dance hall. Jean wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. But he was sure of how he felt watching her move through the crowd. She had waist-length hair that tumbled down in waves to her waist, swaying as she did in time to the music. He chuckled to himself, and kicked his feet out from under the blanket. Still feeling the warmth from that one, he thought. He hadn’t wanted that night to end. But by eleven, the weeknight crowd had started to thin out, and in the absence of its energy, their conversation had stalled. A few minutes later, he was waving sadly at the bus as she sped off to her apartment. He stumbled back to his, alone.

He didn’t know what it was about him. Every date he had had for the past long while started out well enough. They would talk, offer a cigarette, maybe get a coffee. Something would spark. They’d go out. And at about the 6-hour-of-acquaintance mark, she’d mumble some excuse about an early morning shift, or an elderly aunt, or...he thought one girl had even made up a kid sister she needed to babysit. Regardless, they’d thank him for the lovely evening, and there he’d be. Sleeping alone, like he always did. He heard the clock in his neighbor’s apartment strike midnight. Tomorrow morning was gonna be rough, he thought. He had to report at--0400? 0430? Sometime. The lieutenant would have his head on a plate if he was late one more time. Sleep. Now. Gotta focus on not focusing, Jean. Don’t focus on falling asleep. Just let it happen. Just breathe. In and out. In. Out. in. out. in...out...

2:00 = Gracia

Being a mom is hard work, Gracia’s mother had told her. She remembered it well. That day when they had finally made it to her family’s hometown, six months after they found out they were going to have Elysia. Her mom had thrown a big party at her childhood home, and invited all the surrounding friends and relations to stuff themselves on her home cooking and wish the newlyweds well. Gracia joked that she was trying to make everyone as fat-looking as she was to save face. Her mom had just laughed. And that’s when she told her, her eyes blinking back proud tears, how hard it was to be a mom, and how proud she was that Gracia was going to be one. It was one of her favorite memories of her mother. Her mother lived just long enough after that to see her granddaughter one time, on her first birthday. Three generations of her family were under the same roof, for the first and last time she could remember. It was heavenly. With her mother there, it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

What she wouldn’t give for some of that magical mom power right now, she thought. She could see Elysia’s outline in the doorway, lit from behind by the hall nightlight. Somehow she had woken up right as her daughter crossed the threshold of their room, though she couldn’t hear anything over Maes’ snoring. Must be that special sixth sense moms get. Elysia had thrown up, it turned out. Her little face was stained with tears. She had tried to clean it up herself with her blanket, then stood in the doorway until mommy woke up. She knew she would. She was right. One set of fresh sheets, a warm washcloth, and a changed nightgown later, and her baby girl was tucked into bed again. She looked up at her mother and tugged at her sleeve. Would mommy sleep with her tonight? Gracia sighed. Between the kicking, the stuffed animal tossing, and the sleep talking (she inherited this from her father), sleeping with mommy meant mommy not sleeping much at all. But those brown eyes looked up at her, and Gracia melted the same as she did the first time she saw them. Yes, mommy will sleep here tonight. And now, installed in the toddler bed with her daughter’s feet planted in the small of her back, there was nowhere else she’s rather be.

4:00 = Pinako

Old age changes a person. It used to be, Pinako thought, shifting to her left side, that she could just look at a bed and fall asleep. A lifetime of hard work will do that to you. She had proudly worked her way through four years of uni, two more of automail training, and another two of apprenticeship without ever missing a night. Early mornings were when she got her best thinking done, anyway. And that’s how it had been for the past forty years. But as she neared seventy, things were changing. She slept fitfully now. Every small noise might wake her up, even the ones she was used to. Tonight, it was the dog barking at heaven only know’s what. She muttered some choice words and eased herself off of the bed. Better go shut that dog up before he wakes up anyone else.

She found the dog on the porch, holding the freshly-killed mouse he had caught in his mouth. More like a cat, that one was. Well, it was good for him to earn his keep. She patted him on the head and sat down in her rocking chair. She had left her pipe on the end table beside it. Hmph. Getting forgetful in her old age as well as sleepless, she thought. She tamped down the bowl and lighted her pipe, blowing a test smoke ring out into the starry night sky. Yep, still got it. She smiled contentedly and smoked for awhile, the dog curled at her feet. It was quiet out here. A light breeze whispered in the apple trees her and Yuriy had planted so long ago. The pipe got a little too warm, so she set it down and just rocked for a while. Maybe I should just stay out here tonight, she thought. Not like I was getting much sleeping done inside. It was going to be time to get up in a few hours, anyway. Just stay here, keep rocking. Let the wind blow. Stay quiet. Be still. Rock back. And forth. and back. and forth.

6:00 = Roy

Ishval. All he ever thought about these days was Ishval. The rain wasn’t helping. He had been stuck inside going to meetings all week. Mind-numbing stuff. This is not why he’d signed up to be a state alchemist. All these meetings and paperwork were getting in the way of...what? Sometimes, if he was being honest, Roy didn’t really know. At first, the path had been clear. Take this job, accept this assignment, fill out these forms. Drag yourself through enough mud, they’d assured him, and your gilded cage was waiting for you at the end. So he had, in central command, then at Briggs, and then - Ishval. There were some things you just couldn’t unsee, things that played out again and again on the blank wall you were staring at, trying desperately to put out the fires in your mind so you could sleep.

Tonight, it was the hospital camp they had taken, early on in the conflict. His superior officer assured him that the wounded were to be taken alive, as prisoners, unless absolutely necessary for the safety of their men. The position they held was valuable, and wounded Ishvalans didn’t pose much of a threat. But of course there’d been complications. It was an ambush. The rebel troops burst at them from all directions, and the order was given to light up the camp. Together, he and Kimblee had reduced the entire area to ash and rubble. They’d celebrated that victory that night, bits of wheelchairs and stretchers littering the ground around their bonfire. Another victory like that might have killed him.

Roy rolled over to his other side and willed himself to close his eyes. He hadn’t slept a wink all night. Make that the past three nights. Damn, this rain had to stop. He could hear it pattering merrily on the windowsill outside, mocking him. He felt so useless in the rain. Lately, he’d felt useless anywhere. What was this all even for? What was he trying to do? Could a country like Amestris really be saved? Could it come back from the brink of destruction? Could it ever atone for Ishval?

Just as his mind had given up trying to solve that conundrum, he jerked awake. His clock struck 0600. Time to get up.

#Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood #FMA:B #Edward Elric #Alphonse Elric #Riza Hawkeye #Jean Havoc #Pinako Rockbell #Yuriy Rockbell #Roy Mustang #Fanfiction

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clevercatchphrase · 5 years

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2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1) Pay off all my student loans 2) Finish some song comics 3) Make art for my Redbubble account 4) Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5) Practice ASL 6) Sew some stuffed animals 7) Finish some fan fictions 8) Work on Ghost Switch 9) AMVs 10) Do some original writing 11) Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force! I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1) Finish paying off that last student loan 2) Put more stuff on my redbubble 3) Illustrate my own fan fics 4) Sew at least one stuffed animal 5) Make an enamel pin 6) Read one new book a month 7) Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8) Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9) Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10) Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number 9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

#new year's resolutions #year in review #long post #(seriiously this think is like 3k words)

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logansanderslove · 5 years

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Logan 3.0 (5/?)

CO-AUTHOR: @demented-dukey

Summary: Remus is an incorrigible flirt, and Logan can only bear the innuendo for so long until something has to give. Passions erupt, but there are more lasting repercussions than either could have predicted, including a significant transformation to Logan himself! How will these new changes affect the delicate balance of Thomas’s mental state? When a new dark side threatens the lives of several of the other sides, will Logan and Remus’s love be strong enough to save everyone, including Thomas?

Ships: INTRULOGICAL

Sanders Sides: Logan, Remus, Thomas, Roman, Virgil, Patton, Deceit

Fic type: Drama, Romantic, Action, Flirty

Trigger Warnings: No character deaths, but a lot of very close calls. Consensual knife play and bloodplay, and lots of bloody fighting and monster attacks. If you’re sensitive to unsympathetic characters, some parts flirt pretty close to that, but there’s also a lot of extenuating circumstances to explain the situation, and there’s a happy ending once you get through the angst and misunderstandings. Self-harm and references to such, and suicidal tendencies.

MASTERLIST

IMPORTANT: This chapter is a smut chapter, there is consensual knifeplay/bloodplay and very intense description.

Chapter 5: An Intimate Evening (18+)

When Logan rose up in his room hours later, he took a deep breath. Seeing what he had done to Thomas had made him feel unbelievably guilty. Not to mention the immense shock from both Deceit and Thomas upon seeing him.

So when he was finally able to collapse on his bed, he smiled. Then he remembered something and a smirk crept onto his face. Standing up, he sunk out quickly.

Remus was laying in his bed throwing a ninja star up at the ceiling and letting it fall back down only for him to throw it back, then a knock on the door made his head turn, and he yeeted the star back into the opposite wall next to the many dents where he had done so before.

Raising his eyebrows, he was curious. How was he even able to hear the knock? That shouldn't happen.

He walked over and opened the door with a frown, then it immediately disappeared as he saw Logan standing in the doorway, a grin on his face.

"I promised we'd get naughty, Re. And I keep my promises."

"Praise Jesus," Remus breathed and reached for the hem of his shirt.

"Stop," Logan said, his voice reverberating a bit, and Remus froze. "Did I say you were allowed to disrobe yet?"

Remus shook his head, afraid to say anything lest it come out as a moan.

Logan pushed Remus back into his room and closed the door behind him, locking it. He spun back to his boyfriend, licking his lips. "No, we get to undress each other, love."

He pulled Remus close and ripped his shirt over his head, stroking his face instantly. He rubbed his hand down his chest, meeting Remus' eyes. "So beautiful..."

Remus blushed, still unused to the praise. "That's why you're the smart one. You have the best ideas."

He reached up, tugging the black tie loose from its knot. Wrapping each end of the tie in his fists, he pulled on the tie like a yolk, dragging Logan into a messy, biting kiss.

Logan's arms held Remus tight, rubbing his back and tracing every line of his body. He leaned forward to nibble on Remus' ear.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Strip me down, love." He purred.

Remus whined. He was so excited his hands were shaking as they pulled Logan's shirt off, his mouth drooling as it ached to lick and bite every inch of flesh that was revealed. Remus fumbled with Logan's belt buckle, finally managing to get it undone after what felt like an eternity of frustration. Remus dropped to his knees, pulling Logan's jeans and underwear down at the same time and steadfastly ignoring the part of Logan's body that was calling him like a siren's song. Remus focused on Logan's Vans, carefully undoing the laces and helping Logan step out of his clothes. Once Logan was free of his pesky accouterments, Remus finally let himself look up, determined to explore the advantages of his kneeling position, and started by enjoying the view.

Logan smirked. "Are you waiting for my permission or something, Re? I'm yours tonight."

Logan was magnificent; all lean muscle and pale skin, and the beauty of him made Remus want to cry. He could have looked upon Logan with awestruck worship for hours... years... centuries... but Logan's words brought him back to himself. His tonight? Remus bit his lip - his Creativity was running rampant, his mind flooding with ideas almost too fast to process. "...safeword?" he strangled out, fighting against the urge to just take. He didn't think he'd do anything Logan wouldn't like, especially their first time together, but Remus had trouble with self-restraint and often went too far in other parts of his life, and this was too important to fuck up with his own eagerness.

Logan ran his fingers through Remus' hair, snickering. "Who needs safe words? I know you'll stop if you feel you need to. But why would I ever want that?" He leaned down a bit. "Now..." he put his hand on the back of Remus' head and pushed him forward. "Let's get started."

Never in Remus's wildest dreams did he think anyone would ever love him this much, trust him this completely, challenge him to rise to the occasion (in every dirty sense of the word). Remus was dizzy with arousal, and he shuddered, letting go of his last vestiges of control. Inky green tentacles burst from his back, spilling out around them and seeking out his lover. Two wrapped around Lo's wrists, pinning them above Logan's head. Remus briefly mourned the loss of Logan's fingers gripping his head and made a mental note to make sure Logan had ample opportunity to force Remus to gag on his lovely cock later.

Two more tentacles wrapped around Logan's ankles, securing him in place. Another two drew up to chest-level and began to play with Logan's nipples, the soft suckers on the underside of the tentacles leaving trails of light-red marks across Logan's chest.

Letting his own palms skate up Logan's legs and caress his thighs, Remus finally let himself focus on his prize. Logan's cock, erect and weeping, stood out proudly from a nest of curls, and Remus fell even more in love. He kissed the tip, licking off the precome, and moaned at the taste. "So good," Remus said blissfully, "Gonna eat you up."

Logan smiled, glancing down at his boyfriend. "Please do."

He sighed in ecstasy as Remus forced himself onto his cock, sucking hard and with honest purpose. His tentacles held Logan fast, but not too tight that it was uncomfortable. He leaned his head back with a smile, biting his lip as Remus' hands rubbed his ass gently, then grabbed it seconds later.

The two tentacles that were tracing his nipples made Logan sigh; they were soft and gentle, but also held a sense of strength that could be unleashed at any moment. The suction on his chest from them tickled slightly, bringing a small snicker.

He grew harder, then he sucked in a deep breath as he looked down. He pulled at one of his wrists, asking to be let go, and Remus gladly released one hand, which traveled straight to his head, grabbing at Remus' hair and forcing him further.

"Love...you've done it..." Logan murmured, letting out a moan as he came.

Remus hummed around Logan's cock, throat stretched and swallowing his come. He blindly reached down, fumbling open his own pants and pulling out his dick - it was shaped like a smaller version of his other tentacles, although it was a reasonable size compared to all the human male penises he'd seen while surfing the internet. He was so turned on that his normally-prehensile penis was swollen and could barely move on its own. He ran a fist over the sensitive glans, sobbing around Logan's cock still buried deep in his throat, not wanting this exquisite pleasure to end.

Logan brushed Remus' hair, cooing to him sweetly. "Is that good, love? Was it enough for you?" He tilted his head down a little more as he put his finger under Remus' chin, bringing his boyfriend's eyes up to his.

"Should we continue on the bed? I'm about ready for some more."

Remus let Logan's cock slide out of his mouth with a 'pop', grinning up a Logan. "I could never have enough of you," he admitted, rising to his feet, tentadick still hard and aching but ignored again for the moment.

Remus's tentacles picked up Logan in a bridal carry and deposited him in the middle of the bed. Remus stumbled a little as he kicked off his boots and pants, using another tentacle against the floor for balance, before leaping onto the bed, quickly covering Logan's body with his own.

"Didja miss me?" Remus grinned, face inches away from Logan's.

Logan pulled him closer, meeting his eyes with a mischievous grin. "Of course."

He ran his tongue over the crease of Remus' lips, then pressed his own against Remus' violently, fingers tangling in his hair. Spit dripped from their mouths as they connected kiss after kiss, then Logan licked his lips.

"You're gorgeous, y'know that, Remus?"

"And don't you forget it," Remus teased back, "Gotta look good when I'm on your arm, make all the old farts at the faculty club jealous when they see what you get to come home to each night." Kissing his way down Logan's neck, he then latched onto his new-favorite spot on Lo's shoulder and sank his teeth in.

Logan leaned his head back, chewing his lip, then he reached down and took hold of Remus' dick. He gently began to jerk him off, a smile on his face as he extracted a large moan from his love.

"Does that feel good, Re?"

"Fuuuuck, yeah," Remus groaned, muffled into Logan's shoulder. "I love your-your hands, your fingers, god, you smell amazing, and your cock tasted so good, so big and heavy in my mouth, stretching me open..." His hips thrust eagerly into Logan's hand. "I'm...I'm close, Lo..."

Logan bit down on Remus' ear. "Don't hold back." He whispered.

Remus whimpered, chasing his climax. When he masturbated alone, he usually impaled himself on his own tentacles at both ends, and he didn't realize until this exact moment how comfortable he'd gotten with it and how hard it was to finish without some form of penetration. He was too close now, he couldn't focus enough to grab the lube from his bedside table or prepare himself, but maybe…

One of his tentacles looped behind Logan's neck, and dove into Remus's mouth, thrusting deep into his abused throat. The memory of Logan's cock in his mouth was so fresh, and paired with the stretch and burn of the tentacle forcing his jaw wide and his throat to relax, it was enough to push him over the edge. Remus shuddered in Logan's grip, his orgasm rushing through him and leaving him weak and boneless to collapse on top of his lover.

Logan smiled as he hugged Remus' limp body on top of him. "Well, you certainly have an interesting way of climaxing." He stroked Remus' cheek. "How about next time you let ME be your penetration, hmm?"

He then smirked. "Speaking of which..."

In a flash, he had somehow managed to roll on top of Remus without moving Remus from his face-down position. He sat up, kneeling over his boyfriend. He gently brushed his hands along Remus' back, smirking as all of the tentacles disappeared, leaving him with his pure boyfriend, just Remus. Logan leaned down to kiss the back of Remus' neck, running his tongue along the top vertebrae before his neck.

"Are you ready to be fucked, love?"

Remus arched into the touch, still reeling from his orgasm. "Yes, please fuck me," he babbled, trying to get on his hands and knees, but post-climax and without his tentacles to help he was gangly as a newborn foal and quickly collapsed back into the sheets. "Help," he whined pitifully and jiggled his ass in as enticing a manner as he could manage.

Logan chuckled. "God, you're adorable." He grabbed the tube of lube next to Remus' bed (he suspected it was there all the time) and gently worked some onto his fingers, then he smirked. "Open up..." He pushed his fingers into Remus' ass, spreading them apart and twisting them. As soon as he had gotten three fingers in up to the first knuckle, he began to pull them in and out, really making sure that his love would be nice and ready.

"Yesssss..." Remus hissed in pleasure, writhing on the bed and thrusting back onto Logan's fingers. He clutched the sheets in his fists, shamelessly wanton. "Give it to me. I can take it. Fuck me with your gloriously magnificent cock."

"Anything you want, love." Logan withdrew his fingers, then Remus felt the touch of Logan's cock against him. He bit his lip, then gasped as Logan thrust into him.

Logan held his boyfriend's waist, thrusting strongly and methodically, fucking Remus with the most perfect of forms. He leaned forward to chew on Remus' ear softly, nipping down on his neck.

"How's this, darling?" He asked seductively, sucking a dark red hickey onto his love's neck. "I can go all night, so no worries about me stopping anytime soon."

Remus whimpered, completely at the mercy of his boyfriend and loving every second of it. It was torture being taken from behind, unable to cling or bite or fondle anything, and the frustration stoked the fire of Remus’s pleasure. Remus was pinned to the bed by Logan’s cock like a butterfly on a corkboard, and that train of thought led to Logan being a science nerd and other “experiments” Logan might like to use Remus for in the future, and Remus began to cry in sheer euphoria at all the wonderful new possibilities opening up now that they were together. “Love… you…” he sobbed between thrusts, filled and overwhelmed by Logan’s cock, his presence, and his love.

Logan smiled. "Aw, love you, too." He leaned down, forcing himself further, then he snuck his hand around, fingers wrapping around Remus' dick, rubbing softly and fondling his balls as he still thrust with the same strength down into his love.

Dizzy with lust, Remus whined and mewled from one exquisite sensation to the other and back again. He reached blindly for Logan's free hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing and licking and chewing on those talented fingers, moaning his cries of passion into Logan's flesh.

Logan's lips twitched up in a smirk, taking his other hand from Remus' cock and stroking Remus' cheek, then twirling his hair, then he moved it down to hug Remus closer, pinching his nipple and twisting his fingers lightly. He whispered in Remus' ear, "Am I doing a good job, love? Do you want anything else?" He asked, licking Remus' ear before giving it another nibble, finding that such an action was what got the biggest reaction from his boyfriend. That, and sucking on his neck. But Logan just snacked on Remus' ear, awaiting the reply from the man he was inside.

It was nearly impossible to form words, but Remus’s mind was still spiraling out of control, dreaming up images of Logan with a dangerously sharp scalpel looming over him, or “experimenting” with other substances like wax or acid or electricity-play… most of the scenarios dancing in his head were complicated and would probably require more equipment than he currently had at his disposal, along with prior-discussion before implementing, but maybe he could nudge Logan in the right direction… “Bite me… mark me… make me yours.” Remus was already well on his way to being wrecked, but he wanted the physical reminders too, trails of bruises and lovebites and cuts pressed deep into his skin. He paid attention and knew about Logan’s love of Sherlock, and longed to tempt him like Moriarty - he wanted to be a fucking crime scene worthy of his attention.

"As you wish." Logan tilted Remus' head and ran his tongue along the skin before placing his teeth on Remus' neck and biting down, tasting blood at the force. He licked it away, smiling as he brought down another mark on Remus' shoulder that also drew the delicious crimson blood. Logan smirked as he grew hard, then he let out a hard breath and a groan as he climaxed, letting it all out inside Remus. His boyfriend moaned in exquisite pleasure as Logan pulled out, then he flipped Remus over, meeting his eyes. "Finally, I can gaze at your gorgeous face again. And now we can have some more fun." He grabbed Remus' wrists and held them above his head, pinning them to the bed. His lips slammed into Remus', their tongues old friends by now.

Through the kiss, Logan muttered, "I'll make you mine, love. Don't worry." His nails dug into Remus' wrists, then Logan lowered his head to gently bite Remus' nipple, licking around it as it grew hard. He snickered, lowering his head more to latch his teeth onto Remus' side, dragging his teeth along to create a long red scratch, then he sank his bite harder, drawing a small cry from Remus as Logan tasted more salty iron in his mouth. He pulled his mouth away after sucking a few dark red marks onto Remus' side, then he moved back up to meet the eyes of his boyfriend. "You want to be marked? I'll mark you." Taking one of his hands away from holding his love's wrists, he gently ran his fingers down Remus' other side, then he pressed his nails into the skin hard, dragging them down and ripping the skin that immediately turned wet with blood. Logan brought his hand back, running his blood-wet fingers down Remus' cheek, leaving two red lines.

"Do you want me to heal that for you so it doesn't bleed too much, or does it feel good?" He asked, then he returned to sucking more red marks onto Remus' neck, adding to the many he had already created. "What else do you want, love?"

“Feels...good… keep… let me…” Words. Remus could do words. He knew he was pretty good at words, but the damn fickle things were escaping him at the moment, slipping through his grasp. He didn’t want Logan to heal him, he wanted to keep every mark and wound, to treasure them in the in-between times until the next time when Logan would gift him with new ones.

What else did he want?? What else could he have??? Remus wanted Logan to cut him open, to tattoo Lo’s name across his heart and carve Lo’s name into his bones. He wanted a permanent limp, to always feel freshly-fucked and wrecked by his lover. He wanted to never wear clothes again and to walk among the Light Sides with every bruise and mark and wound proudly on display, showcasing how much he was loved and treasured. He wanted whatever Logan wanted, wanted to be good for his lover and satisfy him in ways no one else ever would or could.

Unable to put any of this into words at the moment, Remus just whined, tilting his neck under Logan’s mouth in the universal sign of submission, offering himself to his lover to be used as he wished.

Logan shrugged. "Okay then, my decision." He released Remus' wrist and moved down, dragging his nails across Remus' chest as he knelt at his groin, then his eye caught his boyfriend's before he lowered his head to suck on his balls, rubbing and massaging Remus' thighs as he sucked harder, drawing small whines from the Duke. Logan gently bit down, smiling as he extracted a cry from the man. Moving a bit, Logan kissed the tip of Remus' cock, gently running his fingers over it, licking up his shaft. Once he reached his balls again, he kissed each of them, then crawled back up to lay on top of his love.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you a few questions, and you can just nod yes or no, got it?"

Remus nodded, still unable to produce words.

Logan smirked, then leaned close. "I know you have a bunch of kinks. And I'm sure at least five of them include knives or weapons of some sort... So I'm going to ask, do you want that? For me to use a knife?"

Remus nodded frantically, his whining trailing into a higher, pleading lilt. In response to his emotions, one of the bedside drawers popped open, revealing a wide selection of sterile and sharp knives in a variety of sizes. Some blades were as simple and tiny as a scalpel, while others were curved like claws. Some blades were smooth and sleek, while others were as serrated and jagged as teeth. They all sat patiently, gleaming like stars on a bed of black velvet, ready and waiting to be used.

Logan cocked his eyebrow up. "You certainly do have a kink for this." He leaned down, brushing Remus' hair away from his eyes with a sweet but mischievous smile. "Now baby, I'm going to need you to use your words. What do you want first?"

Remus blinked hard, mind spinning. Too many possibilities, they were flashing through his mind like a strobe light. Logan was being so good to him, indulging in his kinks without hesitation, and Remus wanted to repay his kindness. His gaze caught on Logan's left ear, on the tiny star charms dangling from the black cuff. "Stars," Remus choked out. He shivered, imagining Logan using the knives to draw the night sky across his chest and back, a Milky Way stained in blood. "Your favorite... constellations... on me… please..."

Logan's eyes went wide, a smile growing across his face. "You want me to carve my stars onto you?" He said quietly, and Remus nodded excitedly. Logan smirked and reached for one of the smaller and more exact knives, holding it up and scraping his finger across it, testing its sharpness. "With pleasure, love." He put the knife to the skin on Remus' chest, then hesitated, but Remus' hand rubbing his cheek made him certain and he began to run the blade along his lover's skin, flinching at the blood at first, but after a few minutes he didn't even register it anymore. He smiled. "Scorpius. One of my favorite constellations, as well as my Zodiac sign." He said calmly as he dug the small scalpel into Remus' flesh, connecting dots with dots, painting a picture of his favorite night sky. Remus watched, entranced, as Logan's hand seemed to glide effortlessly with the knife, the constellations suddenly appearing, full and beautiful. He recognized one that Logan had sliced onto his side. Orion. The most well-known and possibly most beautiful constellation. However, it was even more beautiful when Remus considered it to be Logan's constellation. He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt the knife run over him, turning onto his side so that Logan was able to begin his art on Remus' back. For thirty more minutes Remus lay and let Logan scar him, then he finally heard Logan set the scalpel down, then rolled him over to lay on top of him, the blood that stained his hands sending Remus to euphoria, knowing that his love had given him exactly what he'd wanted.

"How was that, darling?" Logan asked. "Eight different constellations and I added a few stars scattered in between. Did it feel good?" He cooed, connecting the two in a kiss.

"Amazing. Astronomical," Remus moaned between kisses, trying to come up with more space-themed words for his nerd, "Stellar. Cosmic. Super...star?" he trailed off, giggling, then gasped, "Interplanetary megastellar hydrostatic!"

Remus hummed, the melody resurfacing easily. "Stargazing mega-fast, you hit me like a cosmic blast. You're giving me a technicolor world." Caressing Logan's face, Remus sang, "Putting me in overdrive, speed of light, I'm so alive. Could you be my Supernova Girl?"

Logan chuckled with a small shake of his head. "God, who would have ever thought that you'd be a nerd. I thought that was my job." He glanced down to examine his work, smiling. Tilting his head back up, he brought himself inches from his love's face. "I just adore you." He pulled Remus into another kiss, passionate and fierce, then a small murmur caught Remus' attention.

"Would you like to do the same to me?" The whisper was so sexual, so sweet, the words singing to the blade in question.

"Make my heart go boom boom," Remus gasped, excitement filling him with strength. "Yes, please." He flipped their positions, plucking the scalpel from where Logan had set it down. Technically, he could use a different knife, but the idea of mixing their blood on the same blade was too thrilling, and Remus couldn't resist.

Logan's chest was still littered with love marks from Remus's tentacles, but there was plenty of space for Remus to have some fun. He licked away a few streaks of his own blood from Logan's chest, preparing his canvas. Hesitating with the blade poised over the skin, his gaze flickered up to Logan's face. "Any requests?" he asked, the question doubling as a chance for Logan to reconsider one last time before he started.

Logan looked thoughtful for a moment, then his mouth twitched up in a grin. "Are you aware of what Dopamine is, and the chemical makeup of love?"

He sighed when Remus stared at him with a slightly confused expression, then Logan smirked. "Here, let me show you." He reached for his phone, typed for a moment, then spun it around to show Remus a picture.

"The chemical structure. I know it's detailed, but it's what I want. Is that alright with you?"

"Definitely." Remus released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Logan really did want this, he wasn't just humoring Remus's weird and bloody kinks. Not only did he want Remus to cut him in return, but there was also a pattern Logan wanted, something Remus could see and easily implement to make Logan happy. "Your wish is my command."

Remus set Logan's phone on the bedside table, and with a flick of his fingers, the chemical pattern shimmered into life in the air, glowing a radioactive neon green. Pinching the air like a pane of glass, Remus stretched it into the size he wanted and flipped it down to lay across Logan's skin. His gaze flickered back up to Logan's, and receiving a nod of approval, Remus bit his tongue in concentration and began to cut.

It was easier than he'd thought it would be. Remus was skilled with his knives and had carved various patterns into his own body countless times, and it was much less distracting to use the knives on someone else. At least, pain-wise. Remus kept getting distracted by the blood seeping from Logan's wounds, and he would pause to lick and suck the blood away so he could see the glowing green pattern again. He sang softly while he engraved the symbols, "Visions of your pretty face send me into Hyperspace. Caught up in a planetary whirl. Breathing in, you give me air. I'm living off your solar flare. Could you be my Supernova Girl?" He hummed as he worked quickly but carefully, inscribing the neat lines and complex chemical symbols, and soon the pattern was complete and the green glow faded away.

Logan peered down at the professional standard scar on his chest, and he smiled before wrapping his arms around Remus and pulling him down into a kiss, holding him for as long as he could before he was required to release him in order to breathe. Both men lay panting, then Logan spoke up. "You're so perfect, love. This is perfect. I'm proud of you." He then leaned up to whisper in Remus' ear, "Now we've really marked each other, haven't we?" A small little snicker escaped Logan's lips. "We got a lot more naughty than I thought we would. But you know what?" Nibbling on the lobe of Remus' ear, Logan sighed. "I wouldn't have had tonight go any other way."

Remus kissed Logan and rested their foreheads together. "I love you more than words can wield the matter," he whispered. His own words were failing him, so he drew upon the master wordsmith to express his feelings, knowing that his love would recognize and appreciate Shakespeare. "Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty. Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare; no less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour. As much as child e’er lov’d, or father found; a love that makes breath poor, and speech unable. Beyond all manner of so much I love you."

Logan's eyes were wide, then he sighed with a happy smile. "God, the man I adore is quoting Shakespeare to tell me how much he loves me. Could you be any more PERFECT?!" He moaned, nuzzling against Remus' forehead. “Love, can we go to bed? I would just like to lie with you and fall asleep in your arms where I feel safest.”

Remus nodded and was about to grab the blankets when he paused. "Oh! Real quick, hold that thought..." He reached for Logan's phone - his own was buried in the heap of his clothes on the floor, and while he could have manifested a tentacle to grab it without leaving the bed, it was easier to just snag Logan's phone instead. It was still unlocked from when Logan showed him the chemical formula, and Remus navigated to the camera app and snapped a few quick closeups of each of their chests, before holding the camera at arm's length to include both himself and Logan in the shot. "Selfie!" Remus chirped, grinning happily, and then attached the image files on a text message sent to his own phone. "Okay, now I can sleep." Tossing the phone gently onto the nightstand, Remus pulled the blankets up over them and snuggled into Logan's arms.

"Y'know you're adorable when you're clingy." Logan said, then he leaned his head on top of Remus' as he reached over him to flick off the light. Bringing his hand back, he laced his fingers through Remus' hair, gently rubbing his boyfriend's head. "I love you," He whispered, kissing Remus' forehead before laying his own head back, pulling the Duke close and letting sleep finally overwhelm him.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #gay #love #smut

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sibyl-of-space · 4 years

Text

Finished a binge re-play of Ocarina of Time (3D) for the first time in a very, very long time. Long-winded thoughts below.

Disclaimer: I played the original n64 version (red blood Ganondorf and all) ad NAUSEUM as a kid. It was by far in my top 3 most-played video games, and if you all know me you know that I don’t play a lot of video games, I play the same few over and over and over and become obsessed with them. As such, OoT is not new to me. I also played the 3D version once before, but it was over the course of several years when I was in college and that was a no-lens-of-truth run for the heck of it. I have not touched either since though, so this is the freshest eyes I’ve had on the game since I was probably about 6-7 years old seeing it for the first time. Do keep in mind though that I already knew virtually all the easter eggs and secrets and story and progression and had a vague recollection of the vast majority of dungeon concepts/puzzles before going in, because this game was my entire world for many formative years.

This game has really excellent dungeons. I ranked them below because I was inspired by my friend ML’s ranking (in fact a desire to rank them myself is what caused me to binge replay this in the first place), but honestly I found all of them engaging. My least favorite was ice cavern but even ice cavern has a really cool atmosphere and an interesting concept, it’s just a bit tedious and bottle management gameplay is not particularly fun to me.

1. Spirit Temple - unlike Shadow which uses invisible walls as a mechanic to trick you, Spirit subverts every single mechanic and puzzle you've encountered so far to really throw you. It's extremely clever. The ambience and overall design is also just excellent.

2. Forest Temple - gameplay wise it is fine but as the first adult temple it REALLY sets the scale and tone for the latter portion of your adventure; the vibe in this temple is just so fucking cool. The sacred forest meadow honestly does come off as sacred, ancient, and haunted but in an ethereal way as opposed to a spooky way. Ooh, I love it.

3. Ganon's Tower - the concept is excellent and the execution is solid, the medallion portion is interesting but the gauntlet up to Ganondorf with increasingly loud organ music and hallways filled with bats and just cool fights and great atmosphere makes this one of the sickest final dungeons I can think of. I was starting to be like "eh maybe the medallion rooms are a bit underwhelming" and then I got hit with the fakeout room in Light that just won me over with how cheeky it was. All the medallion rooms felt a bit like Spirit temple with how they played with expectations, which (ironically?) made the spirit portion actually the least good.

4. Gerudo Fortress - I'm counting mini dungeons and the whole espionage thing is just SO much fun. Break into a thieves’ hideout, jump across rooftops and shoot people with your bow to sneak past them?? WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?????

5. Water Temple - okay I gotta say this replay really sold me on water temple. It's a cool concept and a fantastic atmosphere, and 3DS quality of life changes (boot swap ease of access + very clearly visually marked water level change rooms) made me actually thoroughly enjoy playing it. Also Dark Link is rightfully hailed as one of the coolest, if not the coolest, miniboss(es) in the game, so extra points there.

6. Bottom of the Well - Shadow's invisible wall mechanic is much more interesting when you can't see through them and everything is a potential trap. Falling down to the basement does get frustrating but that room where you light torches to open coffins and a FLOATING GIBDO EMERGES makes up for it, holy crap. Shadow Temple is underwhelming because Bottom of the Well already did what it tries to do but better.

7. Dodongo's Cavern - hey man I like blowing up dinosaurs this dungeon is just solid 0 complaints

8. Fire Temple - Fire Temple is also solid I just a) am so used to the original music that this version feels empty and lacking atmosphere by comparison, and b) find the above temples cooler. Shout out to dragon whack-a-mole boss fight though.

9. Shadow Temple - this suffers from being the only temple I really had completely memorized (I think my weenie friends* must have made me beat it for them as kids) so playing it this time was really just going through the motions; it didn’t get the chance to win me over because I remembered all of it and nothing particularly stuck out to me as being super clever. The boat ride, however, is sick as hell.

(*disclaimer: I was also a weenie. Shadow Temple scared the absolute pants off of me. But I clearly played it enough times that the entire thing was etched into my memory regardless, so.)

10. Deku Tree - does its job as tutorial dungeon, nice atmosphere, thats about all there is to say.

11. Jabu-Jabu's Belly - redeeming feature is using Ruto as a projectile. Throwing her at the ceiling switches will never not be hilarious. Honestly not a bad dungeon, merely gross and I like the other ones better.

12. Ice Cavern - I used to dread Ice Cavern; this time around I just found it tedious. The atmosphere is successful - it really feels cold and chilling - but not appealing enough to make up for it being dull and kind of annoying. Has the potential to be really cool if the blue fire were used in a more interesting way than “fill your bottles and dump them elsewhere.”

BUT, I feel it would be a complete disservice to my younger self and my younger self’s reasons for playing this game so much, if I focus completely on dungeons and disproportionately on gameplay in a review. Because while gameplay is a huge reason I kept going back to it (hard to want to go back to a game if it isn't fun to play), that’s not what made me love it so much, and a replay has given me fresher eyes to enjoy everything else it has to offer.

Ocarina of Time creates a world and a story that I deeply cared about, and revisiting as an adult, I find if anything I have more take-aways than I did previously. I have always really enjoyed coming-of-age narratives when done well, and this is a coming-of-age narrative done REMARKABLY well. You see dumb bratty kids doing dumb bratty kid things and then see the mature people they’ve grown into 7 years later; the game does not make the mistake of projecting a personality onto a voiceless protagonist, but it does imply a narrative arc for him (and you) regardless just through how strong and cool and awesome you get by the end and all the rad shit you’ve accomplished over the course of the game. It manages to very, very successfully make its story about other characters who DO have personalities, but also make you as the blank slate mc cool guy hero very much have a part in that story that feels very earned and satisfying.

Link doesn’t have a personality. You can project whatever the hell you want onto him or nothing at all. Ocarina of Time makes that *work*, because it doesn’t try to frame him as either ~adult in a child’s body~ or ~child in adult’s body~, it just lets you experience the literal growth from a kid who has to jump to reach ledges and has to thwack things twice with a slingshot and tiny sword, to an adult who can LAUNCH MASSIVE PILLARS INTO THE AIR and one-shot previously difficult enemies, and interpret that however you will. I think the most powerful example of this is going back in time again after doing several adult temples, and entering the bottom of the well, where you see enemies you’ve previously only encountered as an adult, and feel confident that you can tackle them as a child, too.

I really love these kinds of narratives. Where the growth of the main character is purely in the sense of you as the player becoming more adept and stronger, and the context of the story makes that mean something, but the game doesn’t try and pretend the avatar itself has a 3-dimensional personality.

I also think the balance between narrative and gameplay is excellent once it hits its groove. The beginning is very hand-holdy (Navi taught me how to open a door after I had already opened a door elsewhere because she’s scripted to do it at a specific door even though you can technically get to a later one first. lol), and I very firmly believe that with Saria’s Song as a device that lets you seek advice when you want to, it is completely unnecessary to have Navi yell at you what she thinks you should be doing. That said, the game doesn’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want, and the number and depth of dungeons makes exploring and killing stuff by FAR the meat of the game, over the story. There is a suggested dungeon order, but you have some freedom if you’d rather do them a bit out of order, and there is a LOT of fun side stuff you can do and get rewarded for.

Most of that side stuff is an excellent way to highlight the humor in this game. If you beat Malon’s horse race record she mails a literal fucking cow to your house. Your house in Kokiri Forest. You just show up and there is a fucking cow in your house. That is the funniest thing that has ever happened in a game in the history of forever, sorry. You can race the running man, and all of the other sidequests in the game make you think there is a beatable goal you’ll be rewarded for, and the fucker just goes “lol good try but I beat you by one second. :)” You can blow up the Gossip Stones and they turn into rocketships and launch into space. After you beat the game, and have a really poignant moment with Princess Zelda where she sends you back in time, there is a completely out of nowhere dance party featuring the entire cast in celebration. The game does not try to explain this. It just gives you a dance party, and after such a bittersweet finale and such a fun and engaging game, a no-context dance party is exactly what it needs. A line o Gerudo doing the can-can? Thank you, yes please.

There is SO much that this game does not feel any need to justify in-game, that it simply puts in there because it is fun or cool or both, and I appreciate that so much. There are easter eggs out the butt (still haven’t bothered catching the Hylian Loach and I have still NEVER found the sinking lure despite following every guide in existence). Most of the temples imply some sort of greater history that is not even the slightest bit touched on. It has a very cohesive “core” game that has a start-to-finish suggested progression and a matching narrative, and it has absolute mountains of random shit outside of that it in no way pretends to justify. It explains just enough to give it ground to stand on, but no more, leaving you with more questions than answers. That ambiguity drove me nuts as a kid, but now, I think it’s also why I kept coming back. I wanted answers the game wouldn’t give me so I felt compelled to try and find them myself.

Ocarina of Time’s ending is incredible in ways I am just now able to appreciate. First of all, Zelda is like “I’m gonna send you back in time now” and pulls up the Ocarina and instead of playing the Song of Time which everything in the game implies she should, she plays Zelda’s Lullaby and hesitates just enough on the last note as you are sent back in the past - oof, that’s a good moment. The entire game you’re told about how the Kokiri can’t survive outside of the forest and suddenly they’re at Lon Lon Ranch having a dance party. You walk away from the Master Sword and seal it back in the temple, but nonsensically are then able to meet Zelda in her garden as if nothing had happened, meaning she sent you back so far it erased not just the adult timeline but also everything you accomplished as a child too? So many questions, but the fact that it does not even bother to answer them and just leaves you with such an open-ended image of you and Zelda as kids, calling back to that very early moment after the first dungeon in the game, and you can interpret for yourself what exactly that means.

I’m getting rambly (HAHA as if I’m ever not) so I should wrap this up shortly. Ocarina of Time’s ending is why I am so vehemently opposed to the concept of a ~Zelda Timeline~. The ending is nonsensical if you try to apply concrete logic to it. This game proposes ideas and makes me feel a certain way about them and the ending succeeds in providing just enough closure to make me satisfied and just enough open-ness that makes me want to keep coming back to it to experience it again. It’s not an open-and-shut piece of history of a fake world, it’s a really remarkable journey thats ambiguity is what allows it to feel so very magical.

Ooh boy I can’t wait to replay MM again, but that is a game I’ve never stopped playing, so it’ll be anything but fresh. It hits different right after completing OoT, though. The only way to follow up on a story like Ocarina of Time is to be even MORE batshit, ambiguous, and loose with your definition of how time works.

#analyses #ocarina of time #i have a LOT of thoughts it is very long

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crystalinn · 5 years

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I haven’t posted about this here yet, but boy howdy has my life been A Mess™️ of late.

TW: medical talk, high stress situations, mentions of blood under the cut

This is a very long post, so a mild TL;DR: ma’s sick and this is me for eternity now (loud noises in video):

youtube

Picture it. November 10th (ish. Time is hard.). The motherbeast came down with a case of viral bronchitis. She got a few days off work to recover.

A couple days pass. She went back to work. Her manager sent her in the cooler for two hours.

An immediate downturn ft. a fall out of bed that took 45 minutes to fix, heavy panting, confusion, the whole lot. She went to the Express ER. They said “oh hey, your viral bronchitis has become full blown pneumonia. You’re goin’ to the Real Hospital™️ for two days. See if you respond well.” Turns out, she did, at first.

About a week or two of what seemed like solid improvement all came crashing back down when her return to work arrived. She went back to work... or tried to. She went to step onto the curb and gravity said no. She faceplanted the pavement, and the ambulance was called. A thorough concussion check later, and her manager drove her and her truck home. The next day, she went back to the Express ER, and they said “oh shit, your lung xray is worse than last time. Back to the Hospital for you.”

That stay was nine days long. She was tested for tuberculosis (which came back negative, thankfully), and had a PICC line installed. During said stay, she did get rather confused and agitated, as it was near the end of the month and the rent needed paid. She called me in the middle of the night, asking me to move her IV... despite me being at home. So that was a thing.

After she came home on the 4th of this month (December), I had to start administering her PICC line antibiotics, every 8 hours. Did y’all know that cefepime (a bigboi antibiotic) smells like someone doing unholy things to eggs? Sulfuric smelling bullshit, that. Had some hiccups there, what with massive air bubbles in the line and getting the infusion orb stuck on the line. We were supposed to be done the 25th. Then she went to her new primary care doctor, and it was extended to the 6th of January, which h.

Anyway, fast forward to the 23rd. Mum was out with a pal, getting some groceries, and some Miralax ‘cause... y’know, and she fell on her ass. At this point, falling down is like a glowing neon red flag. She came home, was a bit wobbly, but was generally okay. Her primary care doctor called after the home health nurses stole some blood to tell her that her potassium levels are critical. A friend/my ‘adopted’ brotherbeast, Frank, brought her a fuckton of bananas that night.

Now this is where it gets real fuckin’ spicy. The morning of the 24th, after we get done with the 7am orb, I gave her a dose of Miralax. She was fine, until the 3pm orb, when severe gut cramps showed up. Those lasted until about midnight when things... moved along. After that, shit went downhill fast. I put her to bed after orb times at 11 pm, and she kept waking up. As time went on, she got more and more confused. Like, she knew general things, in a kinda slow way, but she could not follow directions. On the morning of the 25th (fucking Christmas.), things had reached its boiling point. She was very confused, unable to focus, slurring words. I rang up a friend, Sandy (who has been a massive help this whole time of Fuckery), to get her to the ER. This triggered a complete meltdown. It took both of us to get her out of her chair, not to mention the sudden burst of confused crying and begging not to go.

We finally managed to get her there, and the ER’s like “yo this looks like a stroke, so we’re gonna keep her, do an MRI or three, and get back to you.” Turns out she was very dehydrated, currently has a UTI, and is still a bit... shall we say, fucked up. But, the MRI came out clean, but there was some issue with the PICC with like, a blood clot, but they cleaned it out, so they let her go on the 26th.

But just wait for it... I put her to bed pretty much as soon as she got home, ‘cause she doesn’t sleep in the hospital. Makes sense, right? I went to check on her at about 8, and she was unable to really comply with requests/commands/questions. I’d ask “what’s your name?”, I’d get her name (most of the time), but when I’d ask “when’s your birthday?”, I’d get her name again. Or the fact she lost her PICC line cap, and I’d ask her to hold the newly sterilized port so it wouldn’t touch anything, she’d say okay, take it, and immediately drop it. Repeatedly.

I broke down whilst on the phone with my dad because everything has been too much of late, and eventually put her back to bed to wait for the 11pm orb.

11pm rolled around... and well. I couldn’t get her to wake up. She’d react to me poking and prodding her by making noise and moving away, but she would not wake up. Not properly. So, I called the on call home health nurse to see if she could help, and she pretty much told me to just call an ambulance. Not wanting the expense because I live in Hell the US, I called my dad. He helped me try to wake her up over the phone, but she flat refused. I was left with no choice. So, I called the ambulance, and just before they knocked on the door, she sat up like “huh?” but extra confused. She almost didn’t go to the hospital because she said “nah, I don’t want to go” but one of the EMTs was like “nah, you gotta go.”

So, she spent about 8 hours in the ER, and they told me that they can’t keep her since she was mostly lucid, but they did float an Idea (a skilled nursing facility, at least until she got her ducks in a row) to her that was immediately denied, but with some prodding from me, she finally agreed. So they moved her upstairs from the ER to keep her until they can find a facility in the Blue Cross/Blue Shield network that’s reasonably local. The one that came to visit yesterday turned out to not be, and I’m pretty sure the dude kicked it back to the Case Supervisor to see if they can find another. But, after they moved her into her room, she’s cleared up quite a bit.

She’s still a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, a bit unfocused, and can get caught out in the grapes mentally, but she has improved a lot.

Oh, and another thing she’s been doing is fighting me re: eating since the first go around. Bread’s a texture issue, rice is hard to eat without teeth, and everything else “smells bad” (which, since she’s quit smoking as of that second hospital stay... I understand, but you gotta sometimes push past that.) I did manage bananas though. Thank fuck for those.

But, back to the plot: today (the 28th) was a decent day. Much clearer, less starts and stops in her speech. A bit more focused. She didn’t manage to sleep last night, so she was kinda tired. Had another MRI, but we won’t know about that until probably tomorrow (the 29th). Maybe. Had some PICC issues, though. The nurse got the cefepime running just fine, then mum had to use the bathroom, and when she came out, the machine started screaming bloody murder. After that, the nurse came back and tried to flush the line, since the cefepime was unable to run, and when she took the syringe off, the saline shot right back out... which ain’t supposed to happen. Hit me, the nurse, mum, the bed... probably got the windows too. So they’re working on that, and hopefully they figure it out.

Had my own woes at the hospital today, too. The sole of my boot fell off, so my ride/friend/adopted sister?, Sandy, went to walmart and got me some Heavy Duty Superglue, which I got it about half way stuck before we had to leave... then when we were pulling into the parking lot at home, the nurse in charge called to ask some questions about the PICC, the antibiotic, how long it’d been there, how long she was supposed to be on it, the pharmacy’s number, all that. So I went to get out of the car, my coke bottle fell out of my pocket, started rolling under the car, and I overextended. Fell right on my knees. They are not happy. Took a hot minute to get my dumb ass off the ground, without hurting Sandy, who is like 5′2″ and v smol. I am 5′6″ and... decidedly not. Plus the bonus rain.

UPDATE 12/29/2019: the diverticulitis has made a reappearance. It’s like everything is just It’s free real estate.

UPDATE 12/31/2019: Around 2 am this morning, she managed to roll out of bed and whack her head pretty good on something. They did a CT scan, and it came out clean. No concussion. However, now she has a sitter/keeper/minder to make sure she doesn’t do it again. It’s a good thing the nurses heard her fall, ‘cause despite being armed, the bed alarm didn’t go off. I know of all of this, ‘cause the hospital called me at 3 this morning, and boy howdy that’s a gut drop, let me tell you. But, better a CT ride and a bump on her noggin vs. the alternative. Sure is one thing after a-fucking-nother, ain’t it though.

UPDATE 1/1/2020: 2019 keep your problems challenge: she's had a major mental shift again, and now she's really groggy, really confused... So the hospital moved her to the ICU and called me for consent on a spinal tap, just to make sure they're not missing anything. Other than that, they've done x-rays and another CT, I think to check her spine, hips, the one leg she's been having issues with. The doctors also think that it may be the cefepime causing this altered mental state, and after doing some digging, boy howdy I sure believe it. Cephalosporins are some nasty fuckers.

So! That’s been my month and a half! I’d like to take a break now, please!

EDIT: Further updates found here.

#medical tw //#high stress situations tw //#mentions of blood //#honestly this is more of a log for me in a more concrete area than discord #but if anyone's interested in the Fuckening that is my life rn #have at it

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formal-fauxpines · 6 years

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Siblings with Benefits Chapter 3

For this chapter @sunshineshipper let me have a lot of input on this chapter to where it is kind of my own thing. Of course I made sure to get her approval and have her give me the okay, so it is main author approved. If it seems different style wise then that is the reason why. Hope it is to your liking and still fits the rest of the story.

P.S. I am re-posting this to this current page as my original page I put this on was hit by the purge. Here it should have no problem.

Free period was always a great relief to Dipper, but today is especially nice. He would usually take the time to study. Either keep up with his numerous AP classes or catch up on a few personal projects. However, instead of any of that, it seems it's time for deeper thought about himself and about his sister.

He and his sister have always been close. The occasional rough housing, sharing rooms up until they were teenagers, cuddling up to each other for twin time, awkward sibling hugs. How did that all escalate to becoming siblings with benefits? This seems a bit more than unusually close. But friends who are usually that close have these kind of habits right? Take it to something more physical without letting emotions really get in the way.

None of the friends he knows, though.

They could be different. They could make it work. They've been doing a great job so far.

“Hello. Earth to Dipper,” A hand waves in his face to catch his attention. He's startled out of all his thoughts.

Dipper looks up and sees Jared waving at him, a puzzled look on his face.

“Hey, man. Thought I lost ya there for a minute. You have some intense focus there. That or something is on your mind to an extreme.”

“A little of both I guess you can say. What brings you down here to the library?”

“Free period. Would like to get started on my homework since I have some catching up to do. You know, with being new here.”

“That’s a smart idea. Welp, pull up a chair there is plenty of room,” Dipper gestures to the table and its seats, offering him a spot in his place of solitude.

They sit together doing their respective homework, looking to one another to discuss answers and help one another. They finish early with the added brain power and spend the rest of the period discussing the latest video games, shows, and other shared interest.

“Yeah, I was getting along pretty well in my game last night before Mabel came back home.”

“Oh, yeah!” Jared perked up at the subject. A few shushes were directed toward him. He hunches down embarrassed for his outburst, “How was that? I take it she is now off the market?”

“Actually, no. Turns out the date was really a study session for the guy for art class since Mabel is an art genius. She was really crushed, so I had to, um… comfort her.”

“Makes sense. You are the good big brother and all. And by the looks of it and what I have been hearing from people, you guys are pretty close.”

“You have no idea, dude.”

“Oh? How so?”

‘Shit! Too much! Gotta draw back!’

“Well, you know…” he shifts in his chair because suddenly the hard wood is more uncomfortable than it was before, “we’re twins so naturally we are close to begin with. Plus with all our adventures we have a lot of great experiences together so makes us a bit closer. I don’t know, even becoming teens we never felt like we drifted apart. In fact, we are just as close as we’ve always been. Also so you should know she is older than me by 5 minutes”

“That’s beautiful man,” Jared smiles and pats him on the back. “I can imagine you are quite protective of her and everything too.”

Dipper thought back to all the times since that first summer in Gravity Falls and times that followed after.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“But maybe not too protective as to say, oh, I don’t know. Allow a friend to possibly ask her out on a little date?” Jared leaned back and stared at Dipper as if awaiting a response.

Dipper felt caught off guard by this question. He knew the answer to this question was a no due to his sister not wanting romance, but also can’t go so far that he admitted that she was in a sexual relationship with him too.

‘Calm down Dipper. This is an easy question. Give him the straight answer and it will be fine. He will understand.’

“Well,” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. “While I was comforting her, she kind of opened up about her whole romance tepockle and how she is feeling about it now. Aaaannnddd, she really isn’t looking for a romantic interest right now. Kind of taking a break from the whole subject.”

“Okay, that’s cool. I can respect that decision. Will not ask her out then… But say she does at some point later on is looking to date. Would, you know, it be alright iiiiffffff…?”

“If you ask her out?” Dipper finishes for him. “I don't see why not. But that is up to her of course.”

“Oh, psshh, of course man. Got to just use the old charm and let her decide for herself.” Jared bobbed his head as he fired off a set of finger guns toward Dipper.

“Dang, dude. And I thought I was a dork.”

“Come on man, we are both denizens of dork-dom.” Jared held out his fist to Dipper who met it with his own. They shared a quiet chuckle together hoping not to be too loud to warrant a ‘shh’.

“Oh yeah, just remembered,” Jared said before rummaging through his backpack. “Since we talked about it yesterday I figured you would be interested in this game.” Jared pulls out a game from his pack and hands it to Dipper.

“No way, I saw some great reviews on this. Look forward to trying it out. You sure this is okay?”

“Yeah man, say it’s a thanks for being so awesome to me as a new guy.”

“No problem man, I know it can be hard.”

**************************************************

At the end of the school day, Dipper met up with Mabel as per usual as Jared tagged along to chat with Dipper, and get more time with Mabel. They seemed to get along well for having just met, but then again that was Mabel’s specialty. Not too long after Jared parted ways from the twins to head to his home.

“That guy is pretty cool, much like my bro bro, in a very dorky way.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool. Lent me a new video game today.”

“Ah man. I had plans for us tonight Dipster. Now you’re just gonna be a poophead and want to play that.”

“Sorry Mabel. Just kind of popped up. Plus I been looking forward to playing this one. Just haven’t had the money as of late.”

“Well it was going to be a nice surprise, but now we will never know.”

“Come on Mabel you can tell me. Maybe it will change my mind.”

“If that’s what you think, then you have fundamentally misunderstood what a surprise is oh brother of mine. Shame on you.”

“Okay, okay. Fair enough.”

“Hmm. How about this. I’ll race you home and I will tell you what it is then.”

“Wait, a race? Mabel you always beat me at those.”

“Only way Dipper. Guess it will stay a secret forever.”

“Okay fine, deal”

“Allllllrrrriiiggghhhtt… READYSETGO!!!” With a last rapidly made statement Mabel bolted toward home leaving Dipper in the dust.

“Of course she would.” Dipper took off after her in the hopes to keep up, yet he knew it was a futile effort. Without the adrenaline he usually gets in a monster encounter, Dipper’s athleticism was much to be desired.

‘Where did she get this energy from. It was just this morning that she shook off a hangover and we did it twice. How is she not dead tired?’

Dipper shook off his thoughts as he got into a good pace, catching up with his sister enough. Unfortunately for him the race was over as she bolted through the door of their house while he just reached the front yard. Out of breath, he stumbled into the living room where Mabel was doing her victory dance.

“ALPHA TWIN! ALPHA TWIN!” She chanted rhythmically though her breaths.

“Alright Mabel you won. I guess you can keep your secret then.”

“Well I never said I wouldn’t tell you if I won. I just said you had to race me.”

“Wait, why make it a competition if you were just going to do it anyways?”

“Well, for one it was fun. Two, got to show I am Alpha Twin still. And three, I wanted to get home as quick as possible without spoiling the surprise.”

“Danm Mabel,”Dipper manages to get out after finally catching his breath. “What the heck is the surprise then?”

“Ooohhh, just this.”

Just as Dipper catches his breath, he finds it snatched away again as Mabel removes her sweater and shirt revealing her bra and bare skin.

“Mabel! What the hell are you doing?!”

“Relax bro-bro,” she said as she sauntered over to lay a kiss upon him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Turns out mom and dad have another late night at work and won’t be back for some time. So that means we have another evening to ourselves.

She gives another kiss to her brother who is slightly caught off guard still by his sisters boldness and the news she lays upon him. Mabel releases her grip and takes a few steps back leaving him with a bewildered expression on his face.

“Then again you do have that new video game you wanted to try, so maybe we don’t have to do it tonight. We’ll just have to wait for another opportunity for the parents to be gone for an explicitly long period of time. Oh well.”

With that statement, Mabel begins walking up the stairs. Upon reaching the top, she decides to remove her skirt revealing a lace purple thong.

“I’ll be relaxing in my room if you want to join me Sir Dippingsauce.” She gives him a wink and sauntered off to her room.’

Without even thinking, Dipper dropped the game and his bag on the floor where he stood, bolted up the stairs, grabbed a few condoms from his room, and darted into Mabel’s room, locking the door behind him.

Here she laid before him. Body the epitome of perfection; lythe form, perky breasts, beautiful face, eyes that were lipid pools that were the gateway to the soul. A body so incredibly hot that it was in the middle of the tundra and he wouldn’t even notice the cold. Legs that go on forever, curves that could be put on graphing paper and the equation would be called perfection. His brain was short circuiting over the fact that he is about to have such an intimate time with this perfect creature.

A soft moan snaps Dipper out of the rollercoaster ride his brain was taking him. Apparently, Mabel was getting bored waiting for him. The sight he was treated to now had his mind, and loins, at full attention that no amount of worry less than getting caught, or the end of the world could distract him from.

Her hands exploring the contours of her body was a breathtaking sight. The way she ran them over her form was nothing less than an elegant display of what her craft worthy hands could do. As they explore, she focused more on the most pleasurable areas of her anatomy. Caressing and fondling, always staying outside her lingerie, as if saving the more direct touches for him. Her eyes bored in to him as she touched herself, half lidded she says “You can look, but aren’t you going to touch?”

Dipper walks over to her, trying to play cool and failing to hide his anticipation, placing the condoms on her nightstand. He undresses down to his boxers before settling down next to her. She scoots over to make more room for him, keeping eye contact the whole time.

“I-is it alright if I touch you?” he asks.

She nods, biting her lower lip.

Dipper places his hand along her stomach gently caressing her milky smooth skin. She lets out a slight moan and giggle. He notes the reaction and begins to slide his hand lower making it over her hips and down to her thighs. As he lets his hands explore her lithe figure, he moves in to kiss her. It’s slow and intimate. Lips press gently to one another as tongues reach out to meet and entwine. All the while his hand runs over her giving her goosebumps.

She grew more eager by the minute as the kisses grew more passionate and desperate for his affection. Eventually she grabs his hand and places it between her legs. Dipper’s stunned by her sudden boldness.

Is this really his sister? The same person who just last night was having difficulty just staring at him while naked, is now making the next move?

His mind is pulled out from its concerns as a desperate whimper and a bucking of her hips begs him for more. Dipper could think about this all later. For now he has a job to do. Refocusing he runs his fingers back and forth over her panties. He notices how wet she has gotten just feeling the outside. He could hardly believe any of this was his doing.

As he continues to caress her moistened sex, he breaks the kiss and moves to her neck, laying a series of kisses on her pulse, sending shivers through her body. He feels her arm move and reach down to grab hold of his manhood. It breaks his concentration enough to where he has to look up and see her face and stare into her eyes.

Eyes glazed over with lust and desperation, she’s practically begging for more of him.

“Dipper? I think I'm ready for it now,” she moans in a sultry voice.

As soon as he nods, she shifts her body. Grabbing his shoulders, she pins him to the bed to straddle him. Eyes now wide and shaken from the euphoric haze that clouded his mind earlier.

‘Okay, seriously. Where did all this come from?”

His mind is plunged into the haze again as she rocks her hips, gliding herself over his bulge. Even through two layers of cloth, he can tell how wet she had become. She continues rubbing herself along his clothed shaft. She pants and moans with pleasure. Every so often she would dip down and kiss along his neck and ear shuddering out inaudible words to him. After teasing him enough, she lifts her head to stare into his eyes. Even through the fog in his head, he can see the hunger she has for him. Before he could say anything about it, she plants such a passionate kiss to him that it put all they had shared to shame. Her kiss gives off a white hot intensity and he couldn’t believe it. Particularly the fact that he's the one receiving it.

She lifts herself up enough to break the kiss, “Are you ready, Dipper?”

“Y-yeah,” is all he can let out. He used to be the stable one between the two of them during these newly found sensual sessions, but now it's her turn, and he’s just fine with that. He wants her to be more comfortable with all of this after all, and it seems like she's more so than expected.

Mabel moves herself down, positioning herself on his thighs. She reaches over to the condoms and tears one of the squares off. She lifts herself enough to pull down her thong revealing to Dipper her moist slit. As soon as she’s done she focuses on him, removing his plaid boxers in one felled swoop letting his cock finally stand at full attention.

The look of admiration in her eyes sends Dipper’s heart into high gear, clearly visible with how his member twitches. Removing the latex sheath from it’s package, she grasps his member with her hand, giving it a few light strokes to tease him. It works well as he moans in surprise, anguish, and pleasure. Satisfied with her deed, she places the ring of rubber to his head and rolls it down the shaft. How the hell she learned to do it so smoothly would be added to is piling list of questions. For now he doesn't dare interrupt her flow.

She positions herself above his shaft once more, grabbing it to better guide it into her. Before she lowers herself, she gives a nod to Dipper who nods back. With that, she begins her slow descent, inching every bit of him into her. It may have been their third time, but it felt just as amazing as the first.

As she manages to slide all the way to meet his pelvis, she grinds into him, feeling him reach the deepest parts of her from this new angle. It’s different for him not having the control like before. Perhaps it was for the best though, letting his sister find her rhythm since he already found his. Especially when she hits the right spot and cries out his name, he has no complaints about being bottom this time.

She goes through varying motions and readjusts herself while on top of him. From gyrating her hips while sitting upright to getting close to him and lifting herself up and down on his shaft while kissing him all over. He returns the favor the best he can by reaching up and massaging her breasts or sucking upon them given the opportunity. Whatever he thought he could do best and provide her more pleasure.

Eventually they settle into a rhythm that works best for both of them. Mabel riding Dipper with gentle thrusts on his part to reach the right spots. All while he grabs her backside, helping her in the motions while still letting her keep control. Seeing her in this position, having this much control over him, drove him all the more wild.

After a few more minutes of pleasure, Dipper felt the coil in his core tighten as Mabel’s schlick walls begin to grip more around him, feeding into his pleasure. He isn't going to last much longer.

“M-Mabel, I’m,” he groans through labored breaths, “I’m not going to last much longer.”

With breaths equally as sparse, “It’s okay, Dipper. Just give it to me. Don’t hold back.”

With those words uttered, in the way she did, opened the floodgates for him. He picked up the pace, tightened his grip, and mustered all the strength he had left to thrust into her. Mabel must have had the same thoughts as she pushed into his shoulders more, and ground her hips into his to meet his motions at full force. He would say that if they were having a competition, she was winning.

His suspicions were right as she bucks her hips desperately, repeating his name and cursing between her moans. That did it for him as he gives one final thrust lifting them both off the bed. The force sends her forward, taking advantage of it she leans in for a last passionate kiss as she hums her moans into his mouth. The tight coil finally lets loose.

As he cums, he holds her tightly to him, not wanting to let go. She continues to buck her hips onto him as to squeeze every last bit out. It didn’t matter as they were protected, but he appreciates the motions, giving him a pleasure that he didn’t experience the other times given his immediate removal from her nethers.

‘Perhaps I can hand over the reigns more often to her,’

The room was filled with sounds of heavy breaths and a mist of pure euphoria. Mabel dismounts her brother slowly, his once turgid phallus gradually growing flaccid. She lays at his side, propped up on her shoulder looking down upon him, a smug grin on her face.

“So?” She asks

“So?” He replies, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“What did you think of that?”

“It was amazing Mabel. Like, I have no idea where all that came from.”

“I can ask you the same with where you learned any of what you did? I do know, however where you came from.” she says reaching down to stroke the underside of his member, now laying against his stomach. He shudders with how sensitive he is now and proceeds to swat her hand away. She giggles at his reaction and leans in to kiss his cheek to apologize.

“Sorry Dip-dop, but I have to maintain whole Alpha Twin title.”

“Come on, Mabel we’ve been over this a thousand times. You’re only 5 minutes older than me,” he shifts his eyes away from her, “But if that’s what you do, then I don’t mind you being the Alpha Twin more often.”

“But of course. Always happy to assert my role,” She leans down to peck him on the lips and readjusts herself to cuddle into him again. He wasn’t expecting to cuddle so much for it just being about the sex. He didn’t mind though. Now it was just closer than usual twin time.

After about 20 minutes of cuddling, talking about random stuff, and an impromptu naked tickle battle, the twins decide to get dressed and move down stairs to work on homework. They set themselves up with drinks, snacks, and order a pizza as they crank through their class work. However, upon picking up his backpack Dipper notices the game that Jared lent him, and subsequently the conversation that they had.

“Oh, yeah. Hey, Mabel. I got something to talk to you about.”

“What up, Bro-migo?”

“Well, I was talking to Jared today and he was asking me about you and your whole bad date thing.”

“Yeah? What did he want to know?”

“Just about how it went and if your availability changed.”

“Oh? What did you say?”

“Just that after all that stuff last night you weren’t looking for anything right now.”

“After all that stuff, huh? Wow, Dip, didn’t think you had it in you to tell someone else of our sexy-times.”

“What?! Wait… no, I meant…”

“Relax bro-bro. Just messing with you. I know you wouldn’t tell anyone. But thanks for telling him that.”

“Well that wasn’t all actually.”

“Oh?”

“Well, he also asked when the time came, when you were ready to date again, if it was alright with me if he dated you. Being your brother in all, I guess he wanted permission. And I told him it was okay.”

“Wow, that was old fashioned. So, you are okay with letting me date again with all this?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I said yes so that I wouldn’t come off as possessive or anything. Don’t need people thinking I want my sister all to myself all of a sudden. But also, we agreed on the fact that either of us could end this for any reason, and that includes dating. So if you ever want to date again, I won’t hold you back.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet Dipper.” With that she went up to him for a hug and kiss, “Thanks for looking out for me. As far as I can see it I won’t be dating for a bit now that we have this whole no fuss, no muss thing. It's so much easier than actual dating.”

“No problem, Mabel. Just figured you should know is all,” he rubs the back of his neck, “Welp, let’s knock out this homework.”

After finishing their work, the pizza guy arrives with their food and they resumed normal twin time.

**************************************************

The next day at school Dipper runs into Jared again at the library during his free period.

“Hey, Dipper,” he hears Jared speak and looks up from his book just in time to see him walking up.

“Hey, what's up?”

Jared tosses his book bag to the floor and sits in the chair next to his, “Did you get to play that video game I gave you yesterday?”

‘Oh, uh, no. I was busy,” he taps his fingers against the table.

“Okay. Doing what?”

‘My sister.’

No, he definitely couldn't say that, “Uhhhhhh… Well you know just homework and stuff. Plus hanging out with Mabel. She is always very insistent on us spending time together, you know. Graduation soon and all that jazz.”

“Gotcha, gotcha. Maybe I can come over tonight and we can hang out and play it. Maybe your sister won’t mind. After all she can’t hog all of you, right?”

“Um, I’ll ask. I’m sure she will be cool with it.”

Dipper pulls out his phone and sends Mabel a text message. She responds in kind with a m yes and a series of cute emojis. She also sends him a text of a winky face, peach, and banana and the note ‘Another time then.’ He blushes and shifts in his seat before deleting it and putting his phone away.

“She says it’s cool.”

“Awesome, can’t wait to see your reaction to the game.”

**************************************************

After getting back to his house, Dipper shows Jared around and up to his room with his game system. They settle in and pop the game in. Dipper has to admit that he's definitely amazed by how well the game plays compared to what he was expecting. The hype was real.

“Hey, Dip,” Jared uses his controller to pause the game and it catches Dipper's attention, “Mind if I get a soda from the kitchen?”

“Sure, no problem. ”

Dipper keeps playing and upon reaching a point where he can stop, he realizes Jared has been gone for a bit longer than expected. He exits out to the home screen and gets up to check on him.

Going down stairs he hears a little bit of chit chat going on. Jared and Mabel are the only ones home by his guess, so he figures it’s them. He hears a laugh that was unmistakably Mabel’s. However, her laugh that usually brings him such joy, this time brings a small lurch in his stomach. Was it because it was brought on by someone else? It shouldn’t be that way. It was still Mabel after all, his sister. And it wasn’t like she was his. So why was he feeling this way?

#pinecest #saucy #sunshineshipper #formal-fauxpines #siblings with benefits

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