#grinch biology

[mimimunson]

Drunken fingertips<3

CW- tickling, mention of the police, mention of marijuana, mention of homophobia and bullying but is quite brief, intoxication.

Note- this is my first fic that I have ever written and the first fic I’ve felt semi-confident to post. Please be kind. This is first and foremost a tickle fic so if that isn’t your thing please scroll!! Minors DNI! This is not a tickle kink fic, but kinksters can interact!

Eddie Munson was by no means shy. As long as he could remember he’d always had a theatrical personality, he’d always felt like if he didn’t make someone laugh during the day, the day was wasted. He’d always found beauty in smiles and laughter, he found it endearing that no two laughs were the same. In fact, it’s kinda how he found out he liked boys. Coming out was a difficult experience, but Wayne told him what or who he did in his own bed was his own business. Eddie didn’t need aggressive acceptance, but the casual reminder that he was allowed to be queer. I mean he’d never admit that he flunked most of his classes because he was staring at admiring the guy across from him, he had a metal head persona to attend to but silliness was definitely his strong point.

With the up-bringing he had, it’s no shock that he was touch starved. That all changed when he met his new group of friends, they were all social rejects the same as him. All except Steve Harrington. He was the jock, the king of Hawkins-High. He wasn’t quite like the rest of the popular kids though. While they were calling kids slurs and laughing through the bullying they permitted, he’d stand there with a flushed face, stone cold silent. Steve wasn’t a stranger to Eddie before that, he was the guy he sat next to in his third period biology class on a Tuesday, the one he’d casually admire whilst pretending to take notes.

Steve was a different person then, now he would never stand by and let his so called friends verbally abuse others. Maybe it was his friendship with Robin that had opened his eyes to his own by-standing homophobia. But it was probably because he sat next to Eddie on the couch every Friday movie night in Wheeler’s basement. Steve wholeheartedly believed that sitting next to Eddie weekly was enough to make any man question their sexuality.

Eddie didn’t know how he got here, his knees grazing against Steve’s with his arm resting on the arm of the couch behind him. Both lightly buzzed on beer, whispering away to each other while the rest of the party were fixated on the next movie in their Star-Wars binge. He’d noticed more about Steve in the last 20 minutes than he did that whole year of biology class, his hair had a few strands of blonde mixed in with the brunette locks and when he smiled he had a dimple on the right side of his mouth.

“You have a dimple”

Eddie half-whispered and smirked, attempting to point at Steve’s cheek but narrowly missing from his intoxication. He playfully shrugged it off as if he meant to do that of course he did.

“Okay? So lots of people have dimples Munson.”

Steve shrugged and half smiled in Eddie’s direction.

“No no, you, King Steve have one singular dimple, not plural dimples. One. Only on this side”

Eddie spoke holding up his index finger, pointing as Steve’s face. Steve rolled his eyes and chuckled, nobody, not even he had noticed his singular dimple before.

“I get it now, shh I’m trying to watch the movie.”

He lied through his teeth, mocking Eddie’s performative hand gestures. He could tell Eddie was a little more tipsy than he was, the main clue being the 4 extra empty beer bottles beside him. Eddie giggled, brushing his curls out of his face.

“One Steve. One. Where’s your other dimple? Someone steal it?”

Steve rolled his eyes once more at his drunken friend. “Maybe” he shrugged, “have you got it Eds?”

He smiled, leaning his body weight a little closer towards him.

Eddie’s flushed a little at his words, “Eds”. Steve was the only person who called him that, he was like that scene in the grinch where his heart grows 4 sizes bigger whenever Steve called him that. It felt intimate, a moment that only they could share.

“Listen man, I am not a thief” he held his hands up at the accusation, his smile beaming over at him.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to search you, it’s official police business.”

He joked, patting down Eddie’s denim jacket. Giggling when he felt the outline of his grinder and lighter from inside his pockets.

“Drug paraphernalia.. I’m pretty sure that’s a crime. I’ve not been on the job long but I don’t know Munson, it’s not looking good for you.”

He laughed, pretending to check an imaginary watch on his wrist as if a watch could tell him how long he’d been working a profession for.

“Cuff me officer Harrington, for the crime of being a stoner.” Eddie barely spluttered that sentence out before erupting into laughter.

“Oh you think breaking the law is funny Munson?”

He said shifting himself closer to the drunken boy. Grabbing both wrists in one hand, pinning him to the couch, lightly running his fingers across his arms.

“This is funny?!”

Steve continued his ‘pat down’ if you can call it that, he was poking Eddie’s stomach with emphasis to his words.

“I did not know you were such a criminal. You’re on the wrong tracks man, it’s not too late to change your ways”

Eddie could feel his face burning. Steve was not only touching him, man he’d have to remember that for a later daydream, but he was tickling him.

“Fuck Steve come on don’t do that”

Half trying to slap at his hands but missing them in his inebriated state and half trying to hide the ever growing blush on his face. Drowning in a sea of laughter.

“What’s the matter Eds? This is formal policy, I have to do this.”

Steve caught on pretty quickly that he wasn’t laughing at his pretty wooden acting and more so that his pat was something of a ticklish situation for his friend.

“I- shut up.”

Eddie could hardly contain himself, apparently trying to juggle the need to grab Steve’s face and pull him in for a passionate make out session, hiding his blushing face and trying to pretend like he isn’t being tickled shitless was hard for him.

“Munson, you’re really fucking ticklish you know? If you ever actually get caught for possession you are so screwed.”

Harrington proclaimed laughing alongside his friend, holding him down with one hand so he doesn’t squirm his way off the couch.

“I am so gonna kill you.”

He spluttered out in between gasping for breath. Steve’s hands slowed until they halted, towering over Eddie admiring how his curls were like little spirals framing his face, he even found himself doting on the way he looked up at him. His iris’s were camouflaged into his pupils, his eyes were such a deep shade of brown, but when the light hit them just right they looked almost amber. They always complimented his smile, he definitely smiled through his eyes.

“You’ve still got the same smile, it hasn’t changed since we were assigned seats together.”

Steve whispered, his bisexuality was still hush-hush. He’d only confided in Robin before this moment, he found it difficult sure, but hiding anything from Robin was more of a challenge. She’d sussed out his crush on Eddie from the first moment Dustin introduced them. The way he couldn’t help but look at the floor because holding eye contact was painful, the way he’d look like a sick puppy every time Eddie wasn’t able to join in a trip with the party. But mostly the way that Steve had drunkenly confessed that his bi-awakening was Eddie Munson between spitting vomit into the toilet and sharing confessions with each other.

“You remember me?”

Eddie had his hand over his eyes, slightly peaking between the gap through his middle and ring finger. As if missing this moment was not an option, even if the crimson blush burning into his cheeks wasn’t fighting its corner.

“How could I forget the guy who would stroll into class 45 minutes late, smelling of weed, tripping over thin air and flopping himself down beside me not saying a single word but doodling for the remainder of the lesson? I remember most of it, including the times I could feel your eyes burning into the side of my face like a laser.”

Eddie was mortified at this point. He truly thought he had stealth like skills for daydreaming next to pretty boys but regardless, he wasn’t ashamed. He’d do it all again.

“Oh. You saw that huh? I- I just. I just-“

Before the metal head could even finish his sentence, Steve put his finger up to his own lips.

“No need to explain, I get it.”

He nodded, he never wanted to make him feel embarrassed about who he was.

“It’s rough, teen years I mean. For guys like us especially.”

“Guys like us?” Eddie shot him a bewildered look. He couldn’t possibly mean he was- did he?

“You know. Guys like us. Guys who like guys. I mean I’m a guy who likes guys and girls”

Steve is fumbling all his words right now, nervously trying to explain himself was harder than he imagined.

“Listen don’t tell anyone I told you that though man, only Rob knows. Maybe I’m just a bit drunk but, you look so pretty like this. Peach coloured cheeks and that smile. Damn. See this is what I said to Robin, Eddie Munson just- well just looking at him opened my eyes to who I am.”

Steve interrupted himself, realising he’d said that all out loud. After a few seconds of consideration in his head, he was too drunk to care.

“You looking at me with those doe eyes in biology, it made me realise yeah so I’m like definitely bisexual.”

He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, looking down at Eddie who had practically shrunk so far down into the couch that he looked like a part of it. But he was still smiling, still looking at him in the same way.

He lifted himself, sitting upright with his back against the cushions. Grabbing two bottles, ripping the caps off with his teeth.

“Interesting.” Munson divulged, not even noticing that the entire party was staring at them both with their jaws to the floor.

“You owe me 20 dollars!! I told you!!”

Henderson rose up, laughing and pointing at Mike. He always did like to be proved right. The party later found out that Dustin was certain his ‘gay-dar’ was spot on but Wheeler told him it was just broken, it was smashed right into the ground.

“I TOLD you guys, but hey, what do I know?”

Cherry-faced, Steve and Eddie looked at each other, and back at the party, and in perfect unison took several big swigs of their beers.

[tyrantisterror]

I imagine most people think of kaiju, posts about mythology, King Arthur dating a squirrel, and pointless arguments I should have known better than to get baited into having when they think of my blog.

But for me it's the little things, the topics that don't recur that often but somehow keep popping up every few years or so, like joke speculative biology posts about Grinches, or analyzing Willy Wonka through the lens of the horror genre. That's just as much as part of my time on this hellsite as the squirrel-fucking.

[tawneybel]

Note: Ten favorite monsters, part seven. Part six. To be clear, do to past confusion, these are not lists of monsters I’d bang. Adult-content creator =/= turned-on 24/7.  ._.  Sometimes I just like to talk about character design and review media I like.

I pretty much like every kind of dragon, from friendly to terrifying. If we’re going off of scary, my favorite’s maybe from The Mists of Avalon. A lot of my fave monsters are literary, but don’t have official art. :(

1. Cat in the Hat from The Cat in the Cat

The Cat in the Hat’s more enjoyable if you view it as demonic horror. There’s a lot of elements I like. Quirky architecture, jokes that go over kids’ heads, goofy magic companion, fun costumes. Yet it’s not a good movie, even by my standards. Audrey Geisel was so disgusted by it, any plans for future live-action adaptations of Theodor’s works were nixed.

I’m kind of glad TCITH was the bad live-action, early ‘00s Seuss movie instead of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Imagine how horrifying they could have made the Grinch.

2-4. “Girly girl” dragons

Barbie As Rapunzel: I have the Penelope plushie, whose design I actually prefer to the movie’s.

Dragon Tales: Before FIM Fluttershy, Cassie was THE shy pink and yellow creature. Dragon Land’s just one of various portal fantasy realms I wanted to visit so badly as a tot. Still do.  

Raya and the Last Dragon: People were way critical of Sisu’s design, calling it Elsa’s scalesona. Like Disney hasn’t reused/referenced old designs, jokingly or not. Not that their human(oid) designs are always unique… But Ghibli gets more leniency in that regard. (Haku’s a great dragon design, btw.)

5. the Moving Finger from Nightmares & Dreamscapes

Horror doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective.

6. Jean Jacket from Nope

Take elements of UFOlogy, meteorology, marine biology, and animal exploitation, then produce the most terrifying movie monster ever.

7. Stuff from The Stuff

Metaphor for frozen yogurt? Diet food craze?

8. Scary Lion from The Teletubbies

A good example of how audio can determine whether something is cute or terrifying. 

9. Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are

One elementary art class, we got to make our own chimeric Wild Things. Wish I knew where mine was. They’re grotesque, like to party, and actually pretty wholesome.

10. subway station from The Wiz

The Wiz is an interesting localization of The (Wonderful) Wizard of Oz. Garland!Dorothy is taken from Kansas to a mostly unfamiliar fantastical land. (I say “mostly,” because some of the Ozians have Kansan counterparts.) Ross!Dorothy is taken from NYC to fantastical NYC.

Originally, I considered using the book Kalidahs ‘cause I love mix-’n’-match critters. Then I watched this scene. That and the Munchkins coming out of graffiti like ghosts out of chalk outlines was oneiric as fuck. Anyway, the station isn’t just a liminal space, but another architectural monster. The train itself never appears, but we see trash bins and columns advance on Dorothy and co. There’s seemingly non-automated gates and prehensile electrical wires. Also, that peddler with his growing marionettes…

Note: The pic for “The Moving Finger” is actually from the show Monsters, but I only found out it was adapted after deciding to include it. Nightmares & Dreamscapes has one of my favorite covers, even if it’s deceptive. No scarecrow stories.

Unfortunately, the last gif can’t convey the awesome liminal horror that is the Ozified Hoyt–Schermerhorn Streets station. Fun fact, it was also used in The Warriors. 

[beemovieerotica]

my spouse and I were discussing grinch biology and realized something scary

[yardsards]

I have a theory about the Grinch I really need to tell another person or else I'm going to explode. From the illustrations and the way he's described as well as his appearance in the movies, we can assume he's of a different species than the who's. THe who's seem to be the majority, so we can assume when the grinchs heart is described as two times too small, it's in comparison to the who's hearts. The grinch lives in a mountainous terrain so obviously he has a different biology than the whos 1/?

i have nothing to add i'm just gonna let this stand on its own

[askgrinchler]

Grinchler Fact #1: The Grinch is capable of having litters

[teenjournalist]

A highly dynamic duo of male biology students have managed to earn an A on their AP biology report about "the grinch, a widely known species of wintry yeti"

[annabethy]

under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow: day 1

Day 01/25 Days of Christmas: Charcter A ad Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas party,, percabeth

“Chase!”

Annabeth doesn’t bother hiding the sneer that forms across her face at the sound of their voice. As Percy slides in front of her, his face is all too bright and cheerful. Her eyes linger on his torso, covered in a green Christmas sweater with plastic ruffles hanging off of it that makes her want to throw up.

“Why the face?” Percy asks. He leans over onto the desk she’s standing behind, carelessly shoving aside her blueprints. She nearly smacks him as she watches the papers go flying. Annabeth’s pretty sure he has a degree in marine biology, so what he’s doing working for an architecture firm, she will never know.

“It’s because I have to look the devil reincarnate in the eyes,” she deadpans.

“Oh, that’s not nice.” Percy grins wider. “I prefer to be called the Grinch. Christmas festivities, and all that.”

“I have a few words I could call you,” she agrees. “The Grinch is generous.”

“So grumpy.” Percy’s fingers wander around her desk, plucking an ornament off of the company’s mini tree. “So I need to talk to you.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“I’ll have you fired,” he threatens, but he doesn’t seem the slightest bit upset. Annabeth will never understand how he is able to keep such a calm façade when he’s around her. From the moment he walked into that office, she has hated the arrogance with which he walked, and she had no trouble making it known. There hadn’t been a specific starting point to their rivalry, but it was there, and it burned brighter than the North star.

“What do you want?”

“You see, I was talking to Chiron,” he starts, and the twinkle in his eye has her terrified, rightfully so. “And he mentioned that he’s not prepared for the company Christmas party. I was all oh yeah, I can help out, and he was like you should totally do it, and I was like oh, sure thing, but then, get this—”

Annabeth has an inkling as to where this is going.

“He says you have to help me.”

“Jackson.”

“Yes?”

“Would you like be murdered so close to Christmas? Never get to see your poor mother again?”

“I would not like that, no, but I hardly think you’re capable of homicide.”

“You’d be surprised what I’m capable of,” she says. “Something about Christmas transforms me into Rudolph with rabies. It’s bad.”

“You’re too cute,” he coos.

She is tempted to bite him, and she has to retrain herself from doing just that when he pokes her on the nose.

“Anyways, you don’t have a choice. He said you have to.”

“Why me? Why not literally any other employee here.”

“I have no idea,” he says. “I tried talking him out of it.”

Her eye twitches. “Why do I get the feeling that you didn’t?”

“You always get the feeling that I didn’t, or I did, or whatever the wrong choice is. You just have it out for me.”

She doesn’t think that’s necessarily true. She only points him out when he does something wrong, which is all the time. And sure, maybe she spends extra time pointedly looking for anything she can call him out for, but she likes to call that keeping him on edge. Someone had to keep this kid in check if he wasn’t going to himself.

“So once your shift is over, don’t leave. Meet me in the conference room on the third floor, West wing.” “I will not be meeting you there.”

“Yes, you will because Chiron says you have to.” He suddenly sets the ornament back onto the tree, ever so gently, and leans in close. She is too stubborn to move away so he ends up whispering in her ear, his warm breath tickling her. “You may not listen to me, but we all know that you’ll do whatever he says. So. Five o’clock. See you there.”

Annabeth promises herself throughout the rest of the day that she won’t go. She doesn’t always have to listen to her boss, and it’s not like he’d fire her or anything if she didn’t show — she worked too hard to get where she is, and he is well aware of the rivalry going on between them.

Still, as she walks down the hall to the conference room, she can’t say she’s surprised. Chiron has done so much for her, and if she has to succumb to a few hours of torture to make up for it, then that’s exactly what she’ll do.

As she enters the room, she is met with the sight of Percy in the middle of the room, surrounded by the largest assortment of rainbow lights and garland that she has ever seen in her entire life. For a moment, she forgets about the fact that she is forced to be here. Instead, she focuses on the sparkle and joy she can just feel in the room, and the smile of pure excitement that is on his face.

“Where did you get all of this?” she asks, stepping inside. She has to make her way over a few glass decorations splattered about, but she makes it without completely dying.

“I went shopping,” he says, gleeful. He picks a string of lights up, inspecting it closely before dropping it back down onto his lap. Annabeth sits near him, but still far away that he can’t ‘accidentally’ choke her with Christmas lights.

“You paid for all of this?”

“Stole the company card. Where do you think I’ve been all day?”

And it dawns on her that he really hasn’t been there for most of the day. It’s no wonder it had been so quiet; he hadn’t been pestering her every two seconds.

She hums. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“Desperate to leave?”

“With you here? Of course.”

Percy frowns but doesn’t say anything about it. “Just make this place look pretty.”

She tries her best, but it’s admittedly not very good. It kind of looks like Santa Claus and his elves threw a very messy tantrum. She stands next to Percy to inspect the final product. She can feel her ears tinging red.

“I don’t understand what happened here,” he says, baffled.

“I think my decorating skills were corrupted by your severe incompetence.” Percy smirks but turns to face her. “My severe incompetence?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask what I did this time?”

“What?”

“You’re always insulting me. Why?”

“Because—” She gestures vaguely. “You’re you.”

“I’m me?”

Her mind blanks. “Uh… ugly.”

Percy guffaws, but he doesn’t seem offended. “All this time I thought you hated me, but it’s actually because I’m ugly?” He whistles. “I don’t know whether to feel relieved or depressed.”

“Bit of both, perhaps.” Annabeth knows for a fact that her face is redder than the mistletoe along the edges of the room. Everything she could complain about and has complained about, and she says that he’s ugly? The one thing that he’s actually not? She may not like him, but even she can appreciate his sharp jawline and striking eyes.

“So if I were less ugly, you would stop calling me incompetent?”

“Exactly.”

“Ah.” Percy elbows her, and she squirms. “And here I was, thinking we were mortal enemies.”

“Oh, we are. I can’t be associated with ugly monsters.”

“Damn, Annabeth. Way to put salt in the wound.”

“You could always just insult me back.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You always do.”

At that, Percy faces her again, alarmed. “I do not.”

“Yes, you do!”

“I’m careful with my words. I may tease you, but I have never called you names.”

She tries to prove him wrong, but she suddenly can’t think of a single instance where he’s actually said something blatantly rude. It turns out she’s just a raging asshole.

“Call me ugly.”

Percy blinks. “What?”

“Now you made me feel bad, so say something mean. Make me cry. You have full permission.”

“I wouldn’t want to lie to you.”

It takes a second before she gathers what he’s saying, and she’s suddenly blushing from something entirely different than embarrassment. “You think I’m pretty?”

“I thought that was obvious.”

“I— no?”

Percy stares at her for what feels like an eternity. “I’ve been flirting with you since forever.”

She snorts. “I like to poke you on the nose and play with your hair. I wink at you, like, every day!”

“I thought you were just bullying me.”

“I’m sorry, but that does not qualify as bullying.”

“You made Chiron demand I decorate for a Christmas party.”

“Yeah, he never said that. He actually has no idea you’re here right now.”

“You did this!?”

“I wanted to spend time with you?” he tries in excuse.

“But we don’t like each other!”

“I thought we were always messing around. I didn’t know you actually despised me.”

She doesn’t know that she despises him. Strongly dislikes, maybe, but she doesn’t think she actually hates him. Now that she’s here, staring him in his green eyes, feeling like a kicked puppy is staring straight at her, she doesn’t know if she actually even disliked him, or was just too stuck to her pride to acknowledge that he wasn’t a terrible person.

“I don’t hate you.”

He sniffs. “Well now I don’t believe you.”

“Oh, you toddler.”

And somehow, Percy still smiles. She’ll never know how he keeps with the cheer. “So what I’m hearing is that we’re friends.”

Percy is too good for her. She insults him to his face and he just smiles through it. He doesn’t hesitate to reassure her, and now that she thinks of it, he never has. When she’s struggling to walk through the halls, Percy is always the first to help her carry her things, even when she hurls her nasty words his way. And the one time she was sick, he was the one to sit her down and drive her home. He’s always been so generous even when she doesn’t deserve it, and she doesn’t understand why she’s never seen it before.

It’s like something inside of her has shifted, like these few hours spent alone with him have suddenly erased everything she thought in the past. It makes sense, now that she realizes that the past was nothing more than an image she was too stubborn to replace.

“No?” Percy smiles. “I get it. You want to be my girlfriend.” She holds up a hand. “Wait a second—”  

“Even better! My wife!”

She chokes, laughing. She thinks this might be the first time she let herself genuinely smile at something he’s said. It’s a nice feeling. “Let’s start with friends.”

Percy steps forwards, towering over her. “Oh, I’m so going to make you my girlfriend.”

Annabeth wants to protest, but with the look that he’s giving her now, making her legs go weak, she thinks that it just might be possible in this Christmas magic.

“Guess what,” he whispers, now directly beside her.

She trembles, a foreign chill shooting down her back. “What?”

“Mistletoe.”

She looks up, expecting to find the small plant being held above her head, but instead she is met with the sound of Percy laughing. “Made you look.”

She laughs along with him, shoving his chest playfully. “This is why I hate you.”

“Except you don’t hate me,” he says, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in for a side hug. “You love me.”

“Sure,” she says.

“So you should kiss me then. If you love me, and all.”

If it had been two hours earlier, she would’ve said not a chance, but something’s changed. She isn’t sure what it is or when exactly it had happened between then and now, but something seemed to click. It has her reaching onto her toes to press a sweet kiss to his cheek, right on the dimple that appears as his face morphs into the kindest, gentlest smile.

“There,” she says softly. “A kiss.”

Percy bites his lower lip and shakes his head. There is a look on his face — adoration, she thinks. A voice whispers love. “I’m going to make you fall in love with me, Annabeth Chase.”

It doesn’t take long at all.

[propaganda-for-poets]

🩹 the dps as shit me and star have said

buckle up we did this with newsies a shit ton, we're doing it with dps now, ft a LOT of meeks and pitts

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charlie: i did kick a child once

meeks: ofc you did

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charlie: ALSO HAVE YOU HEARD OF LUCIFER

neil: the show or as in like satan?

neil: yeah.

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charlie: rip cameron he lived a truly boring and miserable life </3

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charlie: but you still see yourself in meeks, right?

pitts: ,,,,i'm trying to figure out if you're making an innuendo or if i'm just corrupted at this point

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knox: MEEKS' MOM LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE FROM THE GRINCH

pitts: GFADHGDFHFGJ

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charlie: shakespeare times were weird af

meeks: shakespeare himself was weird af

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knox: charlie i love you but wtf

nei: i really wonder what's going on in charlie's brain sometimes

cameron: maybe he has brain damage

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neil: pitts and cameron are the old men of the group

todd: charlie's the family dog

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pitts, abt a show: it's on amazon prime

meeks: i'll start it this weekend

pitts: yay :D

meeks: oh also the welcome to chillis guy died

pitts: HUH

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pitts, about charlie: he just goes to mcdonalds and poses

pitts: "i would like a big mac pls"

meeks: DAHXGJDHFG PLEASE

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neil: apparently my english teacher watches dreamsmp??

charlie: english teacher by day minecraft by night

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meeks: my friend said pitts looked like morrissey and i </3 why

neil: wait send a picture of morrissey

meeks: 🤮

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meeks: peepee

meeks: FSHHDGJGHK

meeks: THAT WAS MY SISTER

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neil: stan lauren

neil: and santa

neil: i mean

chalie: stan santa

neil: don't stan santa

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meeks: my eyes are actually pretty bad, today i saw two cats and i thought they were monkeys

pitts: BAHAHAHAHAH

meeks: I DEADASS DID A DOUBLE TAKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEGITIMATE MONKEYS

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charlie: *eats paperr*

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pitts: OMG WE SHOULD SHARE A TUMBLR

meeks: OMG FUCK YES

pitts: BEST IDEA

pitts: 😩✋

meeks: 😩👊

(guess how that one went down)

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charlie: cameron get up you shit

charlie: you can deal with your feelings later

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meeks: who needs biology when you have biology

meeks: wait what no

pitts: SNDNFSNGGNFHNGFJ

meeks: who needs biology when you have derry girls

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[tyrantisterror]

IMPORTANT GRINCH TAXONOMY UPDATE

Today at the daycare we rotated in some new books from our collection to give the kids some new stuff to read, and one of the books we got was Horton and the Kwuggerbug and Other Lost Stories, a collection of Seuss stories that had been lost for DECADES until they were republished in 2011.  And guess what was in it?

A GRINCH STORY!  Specifically, a story of a creature called a grinch that fleeces a creature called a hoobub (whose species name could possibly be shortened to just ‘hoo’ or ‘who’) out of its money.  Notably, this story was made BEFORE the famous Christmas Stealing Grinch had his big debut, making this little brown grinch his predecessor.

Now, let’s set aside some of the obvious anatomical differences for a moment (we’ll get to them, I promise) and consider some other facts about this grinch.  As the preface to this story collection notes, this particular short tale was published when Dr. Seuss was working for an advertisement agency, in which he used a very familar design in his ads:

Why, isn’t that a very familiar looking grinchy face?  The collection notes that there may have been some intentional self deprecating humor here.  Both our brown grinch and his more famous green furred Christmas hating relative share some DNA with this ad mascot - the brown grinch being a conman who sells shit products through shady tactics, and the Christmas Grinch sharing more explicit physical similarities (and, for that matter, also believing that people are all gullible rubes who will do anything to consume product).

This low view of people as capitalist drones supports the popular theory that another famous Seuss character is, in fact, a grinch:

That’s right, the launcher of a thousand self-targeting ships himself, the Onceler, could well be a member of the Grinch species!

Now, before I FINALLY get to where I think all these grinches and pseudo-grinches fit in the grand grinch taxonomy, I have to address the big hiccup in all of this.  There is, in fact, ANOTHER grinch who predates these fellas.

The beagle-beaked-bald-headed grinch appears in the obscure Seuss story Scrambled Eggs Super, and, unlike our other grinches here, clearly does NOT belong to the same taxa as the Christmas hating crank.  While the other grinches are these strange, bipedal, vaguely feline humanoids, this thing is very definitely a bird.  How do we reconcile this?

Well, the obvious answer would be that “grinch” is a nonsense word that Dr. Seuss liked the sound of and used a few times for completely different one-off characters that he never intended to connect in any meaningful way, and that the Christmas hating grinch’s popularity only made these other girnches notable retroactively.

...but let’s get stupid about it instead.

Clearly there are at least two grinch species, which for simplicity’s sake we shall call the Great Green Grinch and the Adequate Brown Grinch.  The Green Grinch is the larger of the two by a significant margin, but the Brown Grinch is sneakier and more cunning.  Both species have an adversarial relationship with the sweet-tempered Hoobubs (also called simply “hoos” in some circles), despite the fact that hoobubs are in fact a closely relative to the grinches (though not members of the same genus).  While Green Grinches generally live solitary lives in caves and mountains, their brown-furred cousins are significantly more social, often fleecing other species (particularly hoobubs) out of money and resources with sleazy schemes.  This doesn’t mean Green Grinches can’t take part in coning hoobubs, though, as more than a few have made names for themselves as titans of industry (as the extinction of the Truffula Tree can attest to).

While Green Grinches are subject to changes in their coat thanks to seasonal molting as described here, brown-furred grinches live in climates with far less extreme changes between seasons, and thus don’t have as much of a pronounced transformation.

The beagle-beaked-bald-headed grinch is an entirely unrelated species, and was given the name grinch for the same reason as creatures like sea lions and mudpuppies - because it resembles the more famous grinches in temperament, rather than physiology.  A large bird with a surly disposition and mercenary attitude towards others, this grumpy avian may not be part of the grinch family via genetics, but more than earns the moniker through its antisocial behavior.

[hatchetfieldtheories]

ridiculous hf theory, if you're still doing these: hidgens was also a Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, but the lighting incident let-it-outed him and that's how we got current musical theatre-loving hidgens

In the tiny town of Hatchetfield, there lived an awful grinch named Henry. Henry spent his days hanging out on the football field with Greg, and Steve... and so on, that is until the cheerleaders would arrive. Then he would leave.

It wasn't just that he wasn't interested, though that was true too. He left mainly because their co-ordinated chanting and choreography always felt a little too close to the world of musical theatre. And it there is one thing Henry Hidgens did not like, it was musicals. So Henry would return home to work on his biology paper and his very serious play about his friends.

***

Deep in the Black and White, a blue being was also working on his masterpiece, excited for the first (and only) performance to begin. He had chosen his hero - in 2018 a man named Paul Matthews would be driven mad by the thing he so hated. But every good writer and director knows a musical needs its antagonist. And Pokey had picked just the one.

The one who would get his... strike of inspiration.

***

Henry doesn't really remember getting hit by the lightning. He knew he had been walking under a tree at the time, and just figured it had been a freak accident. But what of the vision he had seen? Of a world of people, singing.. and dancing.. like they were in a musical.

This felt more than a dream, it felt like a gift of foresight. And Henry found himself giddy at the thought. Musicals aren't all that bad, are they? He found himself thinking. They're not that bad - in fact, they're actually quite good.

Oh but what if it happens before - he looked back down at his show, where the title "Working Boys" had been given an addendum, "A New Musical."

Henry found himself becoming a recluse, preparing for an apocalypse. It's not that he wanted to avoid the prospect of an all singing and dancing world. But he'd be damned if he allowed it to happen before he had finished his masterpiece.

Ask: Send me a Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense.

[that-one-dude]

What Exactly Is The Grinch? A Theory by: That-one-Dude

If you’re reading this then you likely know of the Grinch. A man described as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel, as a monster you would not touch with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole. To set some ground rules on this essay there are some things you need to know before reading further. Seeing as how the Grinch is referred to as “Mr. Grinch” I will refer to them using he/him pronouns, I will be taking evidence from all 3 of the films I have seen, as I unfortunately don’t have the book on hand, his origins in two of the films will be acknowledged for evidence not canonized as a singular definite source of this essay. And finally I will not acknowledge Whos from the Horton hears a Who movie/book. But In this essay I will explain to you why I believe that the Grinch is not a monster as detailed in his song but a part of an extinct or hidden race of humanoid creatures quite similar to the Whos.

To clarify as to how I came with this conclusion, the Grinch is definitely not a who or of who origin. With the evidence provided, we know that the Grinch is obviously different from the Whos of Whovile. the Grinch is a tall green humanoid covered in green fur that in some iterations covers his face, and he also is depicted with yellowish eyes

While the Whos, unfortunately can’t quite be pinpointed to exact distinct features; they often have brownish or blonde hair and the instances they do have fur the fur is brown but in all cases they are humanoids with a micro-town nestled in a snowy landscape who celebrate Christmas. With that evidence we could presume the Grinch is a mutation of the whos but in all forms of media he has never been confirmed to be born from Whos, the closest we’ve seen to how he came to Whoville is in the Jim Carrey movie. In that movie it’s learned that Whos just fall out of the and go to their parents, no stork just fall balloon fly down. However for some odd reason this creature came down knocking a baby out of their flight path .

(A.N: This thing is horrifying)

Which shows and confirms that the Grinch is certainly not a Who and the only name we can give him, mentioned in the same film as a made-up guess, is a “What”.

Thus leading to one of our main questions, what in the world is a “What”? We can only assume that they look like the Grinch. Using the biological details presented we can assume that a “What” is a creature that is very adept at maintaining heat due to their abundance of fur; This is enhanced due to the rules of color absorption. Green is dark compared other colors which is better at absorbing heat than bright colors. This information can tell us that there is a possibility that “Whats” may possibly come in other colors like black or grey, which are better at absorbing heat. This can be linked to evolving without access to cotton or blubber to keep themselves warm, so they gained fur used caves for shelter. This cave idea can be presumed on instinct based on the Grinch due to how he could have built a house or used the hospitality of the Whos to purchase one however he instead chose to live in a cave. Unfortunately I can’t quite clarify on the biology on a small heart as a heart growing is hazardous so it shall be assumed as a metaphorically small to then grow. Another lesser detail is perhaps “Whats” are aligned slightly evil or neutral as in all the representations he does not care for the Whos and absolutely loathes them playing with toys but always changes near the end. However those were only small details as “Whats” are actually much more of a powerhouse in abilities than fur, shelter preferences, and simple alignments. In most media he’s depicted to have immense strength when undergoing extreme emotion as shown when he lifts at the very least 1,000 pounds over his head.

But even more impressive is their massive intellect. Mr.Grinch is only one of these creatures and he single-handedly built complex devices inside of a cave, with no resources in only a few days, just to stop him from having a headache on Christmas. Which brings me to my final point, what happened to the “Whats”?

To put another way, what happened to the Grinch’s people? Well there are two theories: they are either dead or hidden. On the dead theory perhaps their neighbors the Whos became afraid which, let’s be honest, genius beasts who can manufacture complicated instruments and devices 100x quicker than you could and lift things you could not dream of lifting is frightening. But that falls short due to being weaker in general. However them dying off to a disease entirely is possible if, and only if, the Grinch was more resilient to the disease. And on the hidden civilization note it could be entirely possible that the “Whats” are hidden in their underground civilization, perhaps because of the quiet. But both of said theories are rather weak as the Whos should have some idea as to what a “What” is and how would the Grinch even be born in this period of time if his race just disappeared? Lost baby from lost civilization? Sole surviving creature, last of his race? It is unlikely that we’ll ever know where the Grinch came from but we definitely know that he did not originate in Whoville.

In Conclusion, I have proven that the Grinch is definitely not a Who, and possibly a sub-race known as a “What”. I detailed the Grinch’s feats and surmised that these could possibly be racial traits, along with detailing the possibilities as to what may have possibly happened to his species. All in all, “The Grinch” may be a story of a villain turning good but what he is will forever be a conundrum.

The End.

[shtufflookup]

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[averagesmw]

DC Girls x Reader- Christmas time! (3/3)

DC Comics (Comics, not the movies)

A/N: This is a small one-shot collection, with the theme being the holidays!

I don’t own any of the images, they’re just so you can identify the characters easier

CHARACTERS:

ORPHAN/ CASSANDRA CAIN

-BATGIRL/ BARBARA GORDON

- HAWKGIRL/ KENDRA SAUNDERS

-HUNTRESS/ HELENA BERTINELLI

Cassandra Cain/ Orphan

Christmas, one of the most peaceful days of the year...or at least in Gotham

As someone who made a living out of being a henchman for various supervillains, you were up to date with the new job offers every time one came up

But for Christmas, not much would arise, and even if it did, you wouldn't take it, if there was one day you wouldn't work, was this one

Instead, you chose to spend it with your younger sister, the little one who was the cause for all your doings in the first place

She was so happy when you brought her a gift, and you were too when you saw a few family members in the room as well. They welcomed you and once the girl fell asleep, they said that they could handle it from there

They were good people, but it's just that you had never been told that before, and it wasn't like you didn't have any plans, it's just that, well, you didn't have any plans

But fortunately, the day was far from over and you ultimately chose to visit the one other person who left a mark on your life as well

Taking a taxi cab to Wayne Manor, you were welcomed by the butler, who also welcomed you with open arms. This was no coincidence, you were a frequent visitor of the place thanks to tbe people living in it so you were basically a friend at this point

However, while he was being polite, you could sense some relief upon seeing you there

"Is everything alright, Alfred? You look a bit worried"

"Well, you see sir/ma'am, Miss Cassandra won't stop training and while normally that would be alright, it's the holidays. I would like her to go out and enjoy the city when it's not attempting to kill her"

He sounded almost fatherly in his words, genuine concern was there but fortunately, you had arrived to help just with that

"Then I'll take her for a walk in the city, if that's okay with you"

"I wouldn't trust anyone else with it. You're the one who gets along so well with her"

"Give yourself some credit, Alfred"

The man couldn't help but chuckle at this. Shortly after this exchange, he stopped walking to announce that you had arrived at to what could very well be the mansion's gym and inside you found Cassandra herself, training

"Miss Cassandra, you have a visitor"

She stopped her actions to greet the butler, but once she heard what he had to say, her gaze shifted to see you and when she did, she rushed towards you

Cassandra gave you a hug, and a tight one at that

"Missed you"

It was hard to believe this was the same girl who was beating the crap out of a punching bag. Chuckling, you hugged her back

When the act was over, you directed her attention to a wrapped box you brought along with you

"I bought you a little something. I hope you don't have ones already"

"Even if she did, I got a feeling that she'll cherry your gift more, sir/ma'am"

The butler added, those comments were quite reassuring

"Thanks, Alfred"

He nodded as Cassandra opened the box, a smile appeared on her face when she saw a brand new pair of boxing gloves. She held them and even gave a couple of punches with them

"I love them. Thank you, Y/N!"

Another hug was in order, but this was to be expected, Cassandra was much more of an action person. Words never quite cut it

She then directed her attention to the butler in a child-like manner

"Alfred. Can I go out with Y/N?"

The man looked at you and smiled remembering the talk you just had with him and nodded

"Certainly. Do enjoy the night"

Cass smiled and left the room to get something warmer, leaving you two alone for a short while. When she was back, she had black winter clothes, she looked kind of cute, really

And so, you left the manor with Cassandra, happy to go out and explore with you. You'd spend a while walking down the streets with Cassandra, holding her hand as you guided her through this new perspective

She could see the snow falling down, people walking along with their family or friends, lovers sharing a drink in the comfortable warmth of a restaurant. You even stopped at a park with a frozen lake, where the people were handed ice skates to enjoy it

Needless to say, she was amazingly good at keeping her balance and moving almost gracefuly through the lake

The city had many wonders, but her reaction to them was perhaps the greatest of them all. You could tell that she wasn't used to simply go out for a walk, and she wouldn't just go out like that, but this time she chose to act differently

And that's because she was with you

Barbara Gordon/ Batgirl

"You should have seen his face when I told him that a cheetah and a jaguar aren't the same animals!"

Following that statement, you shared a laugh with your uncle Kirk, who was on the other side of the glass. Fortunately, it was just you, him and the guards in the room, so your laughter wasn't much of an issue

Currently, you were visiting your uncle, Kirk Langstrom, who was residing in Arkham Asylum for the time being

"My God, you sure are a busy fellow, Y/N" He said while recovering his breath from laughter

"And what about you? How are you doing, uncle Kirk?"

"Much better, they say I'll be out of here in three months if I don't cause an incident"

"That's great! You're practically good to go!"

"As long as they don't start talking biology, that is"

Another laugh followed that, but then you felt a guard touching your shoulder. Being a frequent visitor ar Arkham, you knew what did that mean

So you put your hand on the glass without fading away your smile

"It was great to see you, uncle Kirk"

The man returned the gesture and placed his hand, smiling gently

"You too, Y/N. Merry Christmas"

With a nod, you placed the telephone back on its place as a guard escorted you outside safely. The man had somehow managed to be in this asylum for almost a year now and he hadn't changed or at least gotten worse since his last incident as "Man-bat"

You visited him as often as possible, and how easy was to engage in conversation with you seemed to help the man

Upon walking out the main gate, you sighed. As much as you tried to keep him company, the holidays without your uncle would certainly feel... different, especially when your parents lived in another continent

You took out some earphones and set some music to accompany your journey back home, it worked on getting you cheered up all the way to the bus, sitting next to a window so you could see the snowy place that had become Gotham

In the middle of a song, however, a voice announced that you had a call from someone that, while unexpected, brought a smile to your face. Pausing the song, you chose to accept the call

"Hey, Babs, what's up?"

"Hey Y/N. You busy?"

"No, what's up?"

"Well, you left school so fast I didn't even got to say goodbye to you"

You facepalmed when you heard that. It was true, you left in such a hurry just to get to Arkham in time, but completely forgot to say goodbye to your friends for the holidays

"My bad, sorry about that"

"Don't worry, but that's not the only thing I wanted to talk about"

"Shoot"

"Well, I-"

"Did you tell them?"

Another voice interrupted Barbara, who gave a muffled answer. By the looks of it, she was with someone else

"Sorry about that. So I wanted to tell-"

"Y/N, get your ass here!"

"Yeah, we need our friend!"

This time, there were two other voices. This was unusual for sure, but oddly amusing

Laughter was inevitable from you, especially since you knew perfectly who the voices belonged to

"Alright, where to?" You heard a sigh before being given an answer

"Naomi's house" This time, it was Barbara who finally replied

"Alright, I'm on my way"

You ended the call to spare Babs from having her call highjacked again, making you chuckle once again

Before, you didn't really have any plans for the day, but your friends thought otherwise. Fortunately, Naomi's house was about three stops from your current location

During your stay at the Academy (which is still going), you have made quite the circle of friends. From jocks to chess champions, you are just about the most diverse group of friends in the school, and it made for some unique adventures as well

Stepping out of the bus and into the front yard, you rang the doorbell. A couple seconds passed before it was opened to reveal a smiling redhead with glasses

"Y/N, you're here!"

This girl approached you to give you a hug. This was Barbara herself

"You're just in time!" She said, dragging you inside as she held your hand

As soon as you stepped inside, everyone stopped whatever they were doing and cheered your name in unison. Inside the house were your friends, both close and casual, but they were all glad to see you

"Ahem!"

A female voice called for everyone's silence. From the crowd, a brunette walked through and stopped next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulders, this was Naomi herself

"I heard you were going to Grinch out and spend Christmas alone, Y/N"

"I...I don't know, maybe?"

The crowd booed in a joking response, Naomi motioned them to stop

"That's why I called EVERYONE here, so we can light up your day!"

"Yeah, you're our friend, Y/N!" Someone else joined from across the room

Naomi then looked back at you, giving you somewhat of a more serious look

"We are here for you, but whether you want to stay with us or go out on your own it's your choice. We'll respect it"

You thought about it for a moment. Not about your choice, but wondering just how did your friend managed to gather everyone in one place without you knowing it and still invite you in the end

Someone told Naomi you didn't have any plans. Gossip's not that bad, but the fact that she actually chose to act on it?

It was... just so kind of her, of them

You took a drink near you and raised it to the air, looking at the crowd with a smile

"I guess I'm spending Christmas with my friends"

They cheered in approval of this and soon enough the party continued. You were soon offered a drink and the party continued as it was before, even some people asked you to join a tournament of air hockey they had going on.

As you took a moment to think about how any of this was even possible, you came to the conclusion that only one person could have known about this and started this event, and she was talking to somebody else at the moment

Choosing to be sneaky, you walked up behind her and held her hand, intertwining it with yours. She was taken off-guard by this gesture but then turned around to face you with an intrigued look in her eyes

"Thank you, Babs" You said with a smile of your own

The redhead then gave you a smile and tightened the bond between your hands

"That's the thing, Y/N"

She whispered while placing her hands above your chest to peck your lips, much to everyone's amusement

"You'll never have to be alone"

Kendra Saunders/ Hawkgirl

Christmas trees were often the strongest symbols of the festivity, and for a good reason, but never had you been assigned the task of decorating one so...big

You were in the Watchtower, the real home of the Justice League and where most of the members spent the time, when not dealing with an individual crisis, of course

As Kendra's partner and an actual ally of the league, you were welcomed aboard and now, you and a couple of other heroes were decorating the massive Christmas tree that was in one of their main rooms

Something with such a size seemed a bit too much, but when you take a look at the size of the space station you were in, it fitted just fine

Concentration was key in this task, but the moment a branch you were using for support gave in, you were suddenly thrown down

As a pilot and soldier, you weren't nearly as terrified of this as you could have, but there was a bigger reason for your lack of fear

The exact same reason that had just caught you in her arms, smirking

Taking a good look at her, you moved her hair out of the way as you cupped her cheek with a smile

"Thanks, angel"

This earned a warm smile from her. She wasn't too sure of the nickname, but she was getting used to it

"Now you see why I told you to use the platform?" She said putting you down safely

"You know I like the thrill"

She couldn't help but chuckle at your attitude and decided to go with it

"Don't dwell too much on it, maybe I'll decide not to catch you one of these days"

After successfully decorating the tree (using the suggested platform this time), there was an event, dinner, dance, and everything. It was mind-blowing, to be honest, but it also served as a reminder that those people were human beings

Well, human where it matters anyway

Kendra, however, wasn't much of a dancer. You knew this first hand, and that's why you grabbed two drinks and headed towards one of the halls

There she was, in all her beauty without her uniform and with something lightly formal but as stunning as she was, her gaze was so distant

She was staring at the window, looking at what would normally be a breathtakingly good view of Earth, but something wasn't right

Taking advantage of this and attempting to ease things off for her, you approached her gently and kissed your partner's cheek

"What are you doing out here all alone? I know you don't like dances, but I don't think it's that bad"

She laughed at your comment, turning around to face you and grab the drink that was supposed to be hers, taking a sip

"Something on your mind?"

She nodded, returning her gaze to the window

"It's just that... As a member of the league, you get to save the planet (and sometimes the universe) so often, but this whole celebration thing, it just feels..."

"Weird?"

"Exactly. I mean, I want to enjoy it, but I don't know if I should"

Leaning on a handrail nearby, she sighed in defeat, or at least until she felt your hand on her shoulder

"I know the feeling, like you should be out there on patrol, regardless of the day"

Her eyes might not have changed direction, but Kendra was listening to you

"But that's the thing about days like this, you get to enjoy some of what you are fighting for, it serves as a reminder that in the end...

Now it was you who was looking out the window

"...it's all worth it"

The girl leaned closer to you, placing her head on your shoulder, and your head gently over hers

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy it if anything you deserve this more than anyone"

You took a step back and raised your drink, with the attitude of a host accompanying the gesture

"Here's to Kendra Saunders. Leaguer, a savior of the planet and one hell of a girlfriend"

You could tell she was surprised by this gesture, but she soon joined you by raising her glass

"And here's to Y/N L/N. Pilot, soldier and the best partner I could ask for"

She made the drinks clink as the custom indicates and without further due, you drank together

Once that was over, she was the one to cup your face, looking at you in the eye and filled with gratitude

"Thank you, Y/N. I needed that"

Helena Bertinelli/ Huntress

The Mafia might be questionable in and of itself, but they were not monsters

...not all of them at least

That's what this party was for: both a peace offering and an opportunity to enjoy something without the fear of getting murdered

Oh, and also to enjoy the holidays

It's not necessary that you take a partner to this kind of events, but this year you wanted to take someone who quickly became important to you. She was currently next to you in the inside of the vehicle

There she was, with her black hair loose in contrast with her purple dress and of course, her beautiful blue eyes to top it all off

"I still don't know how to feel about this"

She was still trying to get comfortable in her dress. This was more of an act of nervousness since the clothes fit her perfectly

Although you had to admit, watching the fierce vigilante be so uneasy was... intriguing, to say the least

"And why is that?"

She sighed in defeat before finally looking at you with a hint of shame

"Wanna hear a secret?"

You nodded and asked her to continue, which she reluctantly agreed

"It's been years since I've been to a dance, I don't even remember how to do it"

It seemed so simple, you couldn't help but chuckle before giving her a reassuring smile

"Don't you worry, I'll guide you through"

She was taken off-guard by the calm in which you said that

"How can you be so sure about it?

You took a sip before answering her, not losing the smile

"You'll find out when the time comes. Have some faith in me"

Nothing more was said after that. Truth to be told, you had taught a few people how to dance before, the first of them being your sister when she was fifteen and a couple lovers too, so you had some experience

After a couple of minutes, you arrived at the place where the event would take place. The door was opened and you stepped out of the vehicle, lending Helena a hand so she could do the same and with her arm wrapped around yours, you made your way inside

Multiple families were attending the party. Mostly adults, but there were also children, lovers, and friends in there

You were invited to give the opening speech as a way to officially begin the event. It wasn't much of a surprise since you were one of the main backers of the party, seeing as a much-needed break from the usual violence

And so, you walked up to the main stage, with a glass in hand

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to be the one who welcomes all of you to this event that serves as a reminder that we might be from different families, backgrounds, and whatnot"

You looked around to confirm this. These people came from all around the world, yet they were under the same roof for the night

"And while it is so easy to hate each other over that, the only reason not to do so is because we are human"

With confidence in your words, you raised the glass you were holding

"And tonight we are here to celebrate that, in this peaceful night without any bloodshed, I sincerely wish you all to have a wonderful time"

A round of applause took place as the guests raised their drinks as well and you all shared a drink together, even Helena joined the act. Once you were done talking, the band began playing their wonderful ambiance music

The party had officially begun

Walking back to your table, you found Helena herself, smirking at you

"Hell of a speech you gave. You sure you wouldn't be better as a politician?"

You couldn't help but laugh at the statement, picking up another drink you were offered

"Tempting, but we both know that this line of work is much more honest"

"Ironically, yeah"

You sat down and enjoyed the drinks, soon enough the main dishes were served and the event had managed to continue uninterrupted so far. Seems like that vigilante you paid to keep the event clean was really doing a good job

After a couple of hours deep into the party, the bands began playing music that had a different feeling to it, as if it was an invitation to dance. Realizing this, you looked back at your partner with possibly the biggest grin she'd ever seen before

"No" She said sternly

"Come on, you'll learn as we go"

You stood up and offered a hand, showing that same confidence that she loved so much (and hated to admit it)

"...Fine, but I'm not responsible if I step on your toes during the whole thing"

She finally took your hand and allowed you to guide her to the dance floor, where many of the couples were already dancing, even some of your employees were allowed to have some fun

"So, how do we do this?"

You walked in front of her before instructing her

"First, I'll place my right hand on your back to help us move"

With your free hand, you guided her left to rest on your right shoulder, this getting you closer to her

"And then, the other two hands are clasped together like this"

You made your hands meet around the shoulder height. You could tell she was nervous, but with your guidance, there was also a desire to put the fears aside

"Now what?"

That's when your smirk reappeared, you leaned close to her and whispered:

"And now, we dance"

Without further due, you began to move around the place. Normally, you would ask your partner to be careful with their feet, but with Helena, this wasn't necessary

In fact, you were able to go even further and twirl her around, much to her enjoyment

She laughed and once she was face to face with you again, she smiled

"I think I'm getting the hang of it"

"I knew you would"

Without losing her smile, she gave you a bit of an intrigued look"

"How did you?"

"Because, Helena, fighting and dancing are not so different. The purpose and the actions are different, yes, but when done correctly, they can be both incredibly deadly AND graceful at the same time

"You know, just like you"

[askgrinchler]

The Grinch’s firstborn child is Jojo

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves  /  tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.