#half of this is like a personal vent lol but I just wanted to get this out there. it’s been on my mind for a long while

[wikiangela]

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[uncaught-coolfish]

Penny rant

(+ruby)

RWDE below. Don’t like unedited criticism of your show from someone who’s been offended by it, don’t read.

Trigger warnings for ableism and Mentions of Suicide.

I would like to begin this rant by saying that around the start of 2020, I found out that I had Tourette’s Syndrome. Long before then I was diagnosed with ADHD, but when I found out I had Tourette’s… safe to say, It made me feel much more different about myself.

The disability had always been something made to sound awful. It was the “You’ll blurt out bad words at the worst time” disability, when it really… isn’t. It’s a lot more than that, but at that time, when 2020 was an already fucked year for all the obvious reasons, I felt bad about myself.

I felt bad because this whole time, I had something in my brain that I knew was going to absolutely wreck my future experiences. With it, my anxiety got worse, and that’s something I still struggle dealing with.

But also around that time, the seventh volume of a certain show was coming out: that show, RW//BY.

I’m not going to talk specifically about V7 in itself, but I will talk about one very important part of it:

Penny was back.

Since her debut, Penny Polendina was easily one of my favorite characters, if not my favorite in the whole cast. In a cast of already colorful characters, she was the one I arguably related to the most. She was this sweet, fun ray of sunshine who… was also a robot. And it was expressed to us early on that it was something she felt slightly insecure about.

And to note, Penny has almost always been a character people have coded as disabled, that sentiment being even more prevalent in her return. Namely, she was coded as autistic for many.

And when Penny spoke to Ruby about her being an android, I… remembered the first time, coming to telling the friends I’d known for years that I had Tourette’s. Just like this fictional character, I was worried they’d start treating me differently because of my disability, or if they’d just… outright leave me.

But Ruby didn’t treat Penny any less, robot or not. Because the thing that mattered most was her heart, and no matter if she was a robot, she was still a real girl.

…Yeah. Safe to say, that kind of message hit me hard. So when she came back in V7, after such a heartbreaking death in V8… I was very happy :) (me when I’m putting it lightly)

PENNY! WAS! BACK! And honestly, in V7 I think she was handled better than I’d expect. Where V7 had problems, I don’t find myself thinking Penny was one of them.

Hell, she became a maiden! Even furthering that she was a real girl, no matter what. And like I said before, at the time this came out, I really needed something like that.

But then there was V8. V8 began at near the end of 2020, and…

I’m going to say it.

This volume is genuinely one of the most cuntshit garbage things I’ve ever seen in any show. And I mean that with all the frustration, anger and disgust I can.

Because do you remember when I said, Ruby reassuring Penny of her still being a real girl was something I seriously needed at the time of watching this show? Because of how much it reminded me of my own experiences with my own disability?

Volume 8 essentially told me my disability was a curse. It made me less human. And my friends saw me as nothing more than that disability, nothing more than that curse.

Forgive me if I’m being hyperbolic. Forgive me if I’m being a whiny bitch about a stupid fucking dogshit fictional show made by the transphobic racist and ableist fuckers you lick the disgusting boots of.

In an already horrifically ableist volume, Penny was forcefully converted into becoming human. They had that part of her so many people including myself saw as her disability stripped out of her without her consent, to let it die before our eyes. 

Even framing it as the “worse” version of her. Her inferior, inhuman self.

And then, they had her stand barefoot and gloveless to show she was “finally a real girl”, and then at the last episode of this volume they had her be assisted in killing herself.

Remember how I mentioned how anxious I was about telling my friends about my Tourette’s? How I worried they’d see me differently, or stop talking to me altogether?

But how this show’s portrayal of a similar situation, to me, helped calm me?

Never said the ending of that story, did I? Because there wasn’t one. My fears were right, because half of my friends whom I’d known for years all but left me the instant they learned I had Tourette’s.

And then I watched as Ruby, the same girl who told the character I related to the most that she was a real girl despite her artificiality volumes ago, force Penny into becoming a human without her consent?

Yeah. You know the message I got at that time from that? 

That my friends would accept me better if I just got rid of my disability. That I just wasn’t me enough because of it.

And then they killed her. They killed Penny for good, and by that, I mean they had her commit assisted suicide. All so a white, rich cop princess could get her powers.

Yeah. That’s fucking fun. I love this. I hope whoever wrote that garbage never comes into contact with a real disabled person in their life, genuinely. Again, sorry if I’m being pissy. I’m not whole enough either, apparently.

And then came V9. I’d consider 2023 to be one of the lowest points of my life. I feel less in control of myself. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m irritated and distracted by the slightest sound or movement. I’m worried I’m losing more friends, if I’m embarrassing myself, and I just feel like I can’t do anything right anymore.

That I’m not me anymore.

And in V9, there was a fictional character who i… again, found myself relating to.

And that was Ruby.

Ruby in this volume is a character who i related to a lot, just as I did Penny. She was struggling with similar things I was, and am, currently struggling with.

And just like me, her emotions and feelings and struggles were being all but ignored by the friends around her, until they finally burst out. Ruby’s breakdown in Episode 7 was, in a funny way, cathartic to me, because the amount of times I’d break down in a similar way… I probably couldn’t count. I thought this show would never let a character’s emotions come out in a way that wasn’t meekness or quiet crying, but here I was, watching Ruby fucking Rose rightfully call out the friends, her older friends, who had all but ignored her this entire time.

And like… Yeah. Let her fucking bake, dude.

And then episode 8 happened and I watched that character I related to the most at a time when my mental health was at its absolute worst be beaten down to a pulp and then kill herself on screen.

If you come complaining to me “it was medicine”, “it was therapy”, take this as a note: Fuck off. Maybe that’s mean, but… fuck off. Because they sure as hell didn’t make it seem like it, and I’m not buying it one fucking bit.

The main character of this show finally gets to express her emotional state in a way that’s not palatable, that’s almost real, and how is she rewarded the episode after? How dare she have those feelings, Ruby is beaten down again and again and again and watches the one companion she still has get crushed beneath her tormentor’s shoe.

And what do her friends, including her sister, do? What do they do when they see their youngest friend, their teammate and leader, the one who’s inspired one, partnered another, and been the little sister to?

Fucking. Jack. Shit. They don’t do a single fucking thing but stand. Tell me it’s them in shock, I fucking dare you.

They watched their friend take her own life after being beaten and beaten and beaten and the next episode they’re all hugging and smiling. So fun. So fucking fun.

So fucking fun they pulled this shit and still had the gall to say you are enough.

Maybe I am. Maybe I am enough. Oh wait, I’m disabled. I’ve got Tourette’s and ADHD. That’s my bad. I’m not enough, actually. I need to have those parts of me ripped out of my brain so then people will accept me.

Then I’ll be a real girl.

So. Fucking. Fun. 

You can like RW//BY. Hell, I do. I really do. I wouldn’t dedicate my blog to talking about it if I just hated it. There’s still so much I do like about this show, and it’s inspired me in dozens of ways creatively. 

But to me, it ends there. I like RW//BY. But RW//BY is not a good show.

And that’s not because of some vision not being followed. Not because of some ship becoming canon or not canon. Not due to some “wasted potential”, “unresolved arcs”, “unlikable characters.”

RW//BY will never be a good show in my eyes, in the eyes of an actually disabled girl, because of it’s continued failure to address real, serious topics.

Whether it be racism, abuse, mental health or disability.

And no matter what take I read, what someone tells me, and no matter what this show as it’s own will try and try and fail and fail to get me to realize, that won’t change.

Maybe my feelings are wrong. Maybe they’re not palatable enough, and this is all just some inarticulated horseshit im spewing through the text.

That’s fine. That’s okay.

I can’t really bring myself to care anymore.

[lyriumsings]

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[azatas]

feeling anxious about ever saying anything to my grandmother bc i don't know if/when she'll decide to take it badly and snap at me like wait a minute am i in a toxic living environment

[dandyshucks]

whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')

and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH

[narutomaki]

people will tell me it doesn't matter what people think about me and then turn around and go home/online to the people that love and care about them unconditionally

[roaringheat]

I was really productive today and i'm trying to be proud of myself but theres nothing like being reminded by my family that they consider me lesser and an after thought to kill my mood and motivation

[melonfairyghost]

I think one of my biggest frustrations in my life will always come from the neurotypical expectations cemented in my childhood.

While I have benefited socially from masking as a survival method for a long time, I find myself close to my mid-30's burned out and lacking the real aid that I need for said burnout.

[burnthybread]

>tried to be ultimate good friend by never talking to ky friends abt my issues because they were too extreme

>now have no one who cares

[coridallasmultipass]

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[transmasc-totoro]

Tell me why my endocrinologist canceled my testosterone refills without telling me oh lord oh god. My blood test came back with v high t levels because I took my t that morning because I didn’t know I was going to get my blood drawn that day and I guess he just canceled it without talking to me about it at ALL. And I had none left and I’ve been off it for a few weeks now and he has not responded to my calls/emails/patient gateway messages. As is tradition. Truly this is the year I get a new endocrinologist

[ln4bub]

REQUEST: If you'd like to do it, I'm hoping for some Lando smut. You can fill in the details, but I want something where Lando is a college player that Y/N hates. But one day y/n somehow sees Lando in just tight, bright boxer briefs that show off his bulge and bum. And basically she gets turned on, and he recognizes it, and he starts to take advantage, dirty talking her, maybe showing off his muscles a little bit. And eventually he gets her in the palm of his hand. And then he has her get on her knees and give him a blowjob. I'm wanting Lando to be be super cocky and in control during the BJ, dirty talking and condescending and making her answer questions about how much she likes his muscles and how big he is. Sorry, this is so horny lol :)

A/N - Changed it slightly from a college AU bc I personally just struggle to write them and added some sweet Lando at the end <3, hope you enjoy anyway my love x

---------------------------------------------------

He pissed you off, it was the one thing you could always rely on. Every day Lando managed to get on your last nerve, finding his way under your skin. Biting his lip, winking at you, that stupid fucking tongue thing. He knew he was attractive, of course he did, he had no shortage of people telling him so. The problem was how much he abused that, given that you had to spend so much time with him as a member of McLaren you had plenty of firsthand experience.

You’d constantly overhear stories he told his friends on the grid, bragging about his latest conquest in the bedroom. You always rolled your eyes before appearing in the group to whisk Lando away to his next task. This weekend Lando hadn’t said a word about any hookups, instead venting about how frustrated he felt, lacking the sexual release he was craving. You found yourself smirking, glad he was feeling some level of the frustration you felt daily around him.

You found yourself searching the garage for Lando, unable to locate him. He was needed to review the data from FP1 before heading out for FP2 in an hour, but he was nowhere to be seen. Oscar had suggested that maybe he was in his driver's room so you headed off that way. Knocking on the door you ask, "Lando? You in here?" You hear some shuffling inside before Lando responds, "Yeah, come on in." You're glad to hear a slightly happier tone to his voice through the door.

Lowering the handle you push the door open, entering the room before immediately slamming your eyes shut. "Fucking hell Lando, where are your clothes?" You exclaim. Lando laughs, "Relax, I was just getting overstimulated in my fireproofs and the suit. I have underwear on." He tells you. Truth be told you had seen his naked back and panicked, failing to look down and see that technically his lower half was covered. You open your eyes, shamelessly letting the roam the rest of his body.

Lando's body is incredible, his toned calves leading up to muscular thighs. The bulge in his underwear is hard to miss, thick under the fabric of his Calvins. Your eyes rake over his torso, the faint trail of hair leading into his underwear making your thighs squeeze together. You’re drawn in by every mole covering his chest, and the veins straining in his forearms as his arms cross over his chest.

It’s when your eyes reach his crossed arms that you pause, eyes flicking up to his face. You find him already staring back at you, pleased smirk pulling at his lips. His eyebrow quirks as a blush coats your cheeks, “See something you like?” Lando questions, the smile on his face revealing the cute cap between his teeth. You feel your face burning in embarrassment as you stutter out an answer, “No don’t be stupid.”

Lando laughs teasingly, stepping towards you. You move backwards with each stride he takes until you feel your back pressing against the door. Lando’s arms move to cage you in, one tantalisingly close to your hip. You hear the click of the lock, swallowing in nervousness as Lando’s head dips towards your neck. He presses his lips to your skin, smirking when your pulse jumps. Your head tilts back, chest heaving as his tongue licks a stripe up your neck to the base of your ear.

“Care to help me with my dry spell baby?” He whispers against the shell of your ear, his voice making you squeeze your thighs together. You nod and Lando pulls back, “Get on your knees. Want to stuff your pretty little mouth.” You drop to your knees without a moment’s hesitation, internally scolding yourself for giving into him so easily.

“Open your mouth.” Lando commands, smirking as you do exactly what he says. “Gonna have to open wider for me baby.” He continues, large hand grasping your jaw to encourage you. “Tongue out already too, such a whore aren’t you?” He mocks. Your eyes lid at his words, forgetting everything in the world except for him.

He leans down slightly, spitting into your mouth before running his thumb over your tongue. He spreads his spit before you enclose your mouth around his thumb, swallowing gently. He slides his thumb out of your mouth before replacing them with two fingers, relishing in the way your tongue swirls around him. You gag as he pushes deeper, eyes watering.

“How are you gonna please me if you can barely take my fingers honey?” Lando mocks, head tilting to the side. You can barely concentrate, his fingers making you dizzy as you fixate on the way his bicep flexes with each push of his fingers into your mouth. He notices the way you stare, smirking at your ogling.

“You like the muscles do you? I’ve been training harder lately, want you to imagine how my bicep would feel wrapped around your throat while I fuck you from behind.” He mutters, cock twitching at the moan you release around his fingers. He removes them from your mouth, leaving a filthy trail of spit down your chin. He steps out of his underwear, his hard cock slapping up against his stomach.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him, bigger and thicker than you expected. Lando smirks, “You can take me don’t worry, sluts like you are so eager to please that you’ll be crying around my cock in seconds.” He notices the way your legs clench at his arrogance, smiling at how needy you are for him. His hand wraps around the base of his cock, tapping the swollen head against the tip of your tongue.

Your eyes flick up to look at his own, smiling at the way they darken. “Oh you’re so filthy aren’t you baby? Just want to make me feel good don’t you?” Lando groans. Your lips close around the head of his cock, tongue flicking against the slit that’s leaking precum. The salty taste coats your tongue, a soft hum bubbling from your throat in response.

Lando’s hips buck at the feeling of the vibrations, “Does my cock taste good Y/N? Is that what’s got you moaning without me even touching you?” His teasing tone causes your pussy to clench around nothing, feeling the way your underwear grows ever wetter. Lando groans at the affirmative moan you release around his cock, stuffing himself deeper into your mouth. You gag as the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat, spit beginning to leak out of the sides of your mouth as he thrusts.

"Knew you'd be easy like this, knew that you were just jealous of all those other girls." He comments, large hands lacing in your hair as he continues his assault of your open mouth. "Crying for me already?" He asks, thumb swiping a tear away as it trickles down your cheek. His cock twitches at the sight of you, cheeks flushed, eyes brimming with tears, chin covered in drool. "You gonna take my cum deep in your throat like a whore? Gonna let me use like this from now on, whenever I need it?" Lando's tone becomes increasingly shaky as his thrusts become quicker and shallower.

The taste of his precum coats your tongue further, signaling his incoming orgasm. You slide your hands up the back of his thighs, feeling goosebumps rise on his skin. Your soft hands reach his ass, pushing him into the depths of your mouth. You gag gently and the contraction around his cock is enough to send Lando over the edge with a loud groan. "So fucking good, swallow for me baby." He mutters, ropes of cum spilling down your throat.

You swallow all he gives you eagerly, humming at the taste. Lando pulls out of your mouth before crouching down to your level. He presses his lips gently to your forehead, "That was so good, thank you." You smile up at him, face no doubt ruined by him. He laughs slightly before reaching for a small hand towel. He wipes your face, focusing in on your chin and neck that were coated in spit.

"Use whatever you need to clean up, I'm gonna head to the garage to review the data, which I'm guessing is what you came in here for." Lando explains. "Christ, what do you need me for if you already know where you're supposed to be?" You laugh, standing to examine your face in the mirror.

"Who else is gonna drop to their knees and look pretty like you?" Lando teases with a wink, shutting the door with a click and leaving you alone - blush creeping over your cheeks as you smile.

[galedekarios]

this is a personal vent post so please let me just get it all out without trying to come at me lol:

so many ppl saying they respect larian's decision to peace out and not deal with hasbro/wotc, but i have to be honest, i don't respect them at all.

they are leaving a game behind that is unfinished and a narrative mess.

they leave a game behind where everyone paid the same amount of money for it, yet depending on which character you prefer, you get less content.

the disparity between everyone else and their writer's pet ast*rion is insane. he has a half to a third more content depending on which character you compare him to.

they leave behind a sparse act 2, which is already so barren compared to act 1 and all it had to offer. act 3 is a narrative mess and lacks structure.

they leave a game behind where they made promises a handful of weeks before release where they ought to have known that they, in fact, will not be delivering said promises: access to the upper city, consequences for playing certain races across the acts (playing a drow is going to be different in act 1 and gives you advantages vs act 3 where it would give you understandable disadvantages), etc etc etc.

they leave behind a game where content was cut from the companions to make it seem like the origins have something to offer when that system is barely able to compare what origin playthroughs offered in dos2 and it hurts the game and the experience (like tara being cut for companion gale).

they leave behind a game where they promised to much variety and proclaimed in panels from hell how they struggled to show the width and depth of the game, but really? it's about as deep as a puddle. a lot of the choices do not matter. kill ethel? nah, she's alive and well in the city. no sister hags to be angry here. give karlach no infernal iron and never talk to her at all? doesn't matter, she'll survive until the end of act 3 and will still call you her bff. dissuade gale to use the orb? we'll make sure he'll still offer 3 more times just in case. send yenna away from camp bc you don't want her there? doesn't matter, she'll stay. and yes, i'm aware these are all small things, but they are part of a larger problem. almost nothing you do truly matters to the point of where i just skip most things in act 1 and 2 now.

they leave behind a game that they promise to still patch, but some things have been broken since early access / release to the point of where i'm like i'm sorry, but your word that you will continue to patch things means about as much to me as all the other empty promises. the dialogue about morena dekarios is still broken and it's been over half a year now. the astral sea scene has low-res body textures for months. i know from mutuals who love minthara that her romance is still broken. and i could go on and on.

and what gets me the most about this is all is that they have learned nothing at all from dos2: act 3 of that game was so bugged and all over the place that i couldn't muster up the motivation to finish it the first time i played. they neglected a character to the point of where he could have been removed from the game or made a general hireling (beast).

those issues were at least attempted to be fixed in the definitive edition.

with swen saying that there will be no new content anymore and stating that both bg3 and its characters are now property of wotc/hasbro, it seems unlikely we'll even get an attempt of a fix.

so what this boils down to to me is just another game company not delivering on their promises after overselling their product and more or less abandoning it after a year to move onto the next big thing.

i don't think i can respect that ngl.

[justwinginglife]

Is this how I request? I'm a boomer, I dunno how to work these fancy gagits xD

Bbuutt you know what would be an amazing oneshot? Jealous!reader BUT Hoshina loves seeing her assert her dominance over other girls so he doesn't stop her (unless she's going too far)

I know you're busy so take your time with this ^.^

I love how this was your first request for me and I answered most of your requests first LOL. Finally coming back around to this one. Mature content mentioned.

Crazy

One of Soshiro's favorite things about you was your attitude. He loved the way your eyes burned bright, the way your lips dripped with sass, the way you spoke your mind about whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. He thought it was sexy when you told people off, and even sexier when you told him off. And he let you run wild most of the time because it was entertaining; it would be all the time if you didn’t know how to use your fists, and if he wasn’t nervous that you’d use them freely if provoked enough. 

One time, a dog bit you and you bit it back. Soshiro was both shocked and amused, the dog was less amused and more shocked. Either way, that was the day Soshiro discovered he had a biting kink. After that, he frequently nibbled and chomped on any accessible part of you to elicit a bite back. And when you did bite him, he felt like he was a dog, wagging his tail, overjoyed from the delicious attention. 

But as sexy as he thought you were, he knew you could get a bit too rowdy at times and the situation could quickly spiral out of control. He didn’t mind being the one to leash you, it was his intention to stay by your side at all times anyway. He was obsessed with you. And he counted himself lucky that you were also obsessed with a bastard like him. After all, he was the only person you’d ever listen to; even your commanding officers held no sway over you. It was just lucky for them that you happened to agree with their decisions most of the time. But you made damn sure they knew when you disagreed. 

Sometimes you teased Soshiro that the only reason he was a Vice Captain was because the promotion was out of gratitude from his superiors for him keeping you in line. Some days, he’d pout, going off about all the reasons why he deserved to be Vice Captain besides babysitting a little shit like you. Some days, he’d smirk, telling you he’d put you in your place right then and there on the conference table or in the training room, wherever you were. But every day, you enjoyed his banter. You wondered why no one else’s company was as valuable to you as his. Sometimes, half the shit he said drove you crazy and if anyone else had said them to you, you’d knock their teeth out. But for some bizarre reason, your heart ran marathons in your chest every time he talked to you, whether he was saying something annoying or not. And you didn’t have the time or energy to waste figuring it out, so you gave into the feeling. You let yourself love him. 

But you sure as hell didn’t let anyone else love him. 

He’d been getting rather popular lately and lots of news reporters had been poking around the base trying to snag an interview with him. Sometimes he gave them the time of day and sometimes he didn’t. But either way, it drew attention to him. Attention that you didn’t like. 

You thought you had finally established to everyone in the Third Division, no, to everyone in the entire Defense Force that he was yours. And he let you. But now, thanks to all the paparazzi, you found yourself having to defend your place by his side to all of Japan. To all the horny women (and a few horny men) looking to get a bite out of your man. 

But it had been slow at work lately, and the kaiju that had been popping up were unimpressive, leaving you bored. Maybe this was a way to vent your energy. Let them come at me, you thought to yourself. 

The opportunity came sooner than you would’ve liked. But you were ready all the same.

You were out running errands with Soshiro over the weekend and you asked him to take your groceries up to check out. You just wanted to grab a drink from the fridge real quick and you’d meet him up there. When you found him, he was getting hit on by the cashier.

It didn’t matter that he said no, it didn’t matter that he tried to shake her off, she continued with her pursuit of him regardless, and it pissed you the fuck off. He had finally finished paying and she had written her phone number on the receipt. When you saw that, you went up to her, wrapped a possessive arm around his waist, and then splashed the fresh soda you had just grabbed into her face. Then you slammed the exact change for the drink down on the counter and snarled at her, “Don’t ever talk to my man again,” before hauling Soshiro out of the store, leaving her stunned and him smirking. You, of course, immediatley ripped up the receipt with her number on it and Soshiro, wanting to tease you a bit, asked as innocently as he could, “Aww, but what if I needed to return something?” You glared at him and ignored him the whole ride home until he was literally begging on his knees for you to talk to him again. Once you’d seen the sorry sight, you immediately went back to acting like the whole event had never happened, humming happily as you cooked dinner. Soshiro questioned if you were ever even actually mad at him and if you purposely gave him the cold shoulder just to see how much he’d whine for you. He wasn’t wrong but you’d never admit it.

Another time, you were in a movie theater with Soshiro, simply trying to watch some romance together in peace. The couple in front of you was trying to fuck and when the girl threw her head back to moan, she caught sight of your boyfriend. She had the audacity to ask if he wanted to join, completely ignoring you snuggled up against him so that no one could mistake you for anything less than his girlfriend. You ripped the blanket off of them, snapped a photo of their half naked bodies mid-fuck, and showed the theater manager, getting them banned from the place for life (for shits and giggles, you even coaxed some free movie tickets from the manager to make up for such a “traumatizing experience.”) And then, when the bitch thought that was the worst you could do to her, you went and posted her shame online and let the internet do the rest of the work. Soshiro thought that last part was a little cruel, but the worse the crime against you, the harder you fought back. You didn’t feel remorseful in the slightest.

On a good day, you’d just stick your tongue down Soshiro’s throat, forcing whoever was hitting on him to awkwardly make their exit. On your worst day, you drove a cab driver’s car into a river because she had left the car unattended, keys still in the ignition, to step out and give Soshiro her number. When asked why you did it, you simply shrugged, saying you were in the mood for a swim. It was a good thing Soshiro had friends in the police department. Not that you needed them, he was sure you could gnaw your way through the cell bars anyway. 

But each and every time someone would flirt with Soshiro, he was grateful for it, because it turned him on watching you assert yourself over all these other women, and, having pent up energy after such frustrating encounters, you’d take it out on him, reminding him who he belonged to. He was having the time of his life. He’d only stop you if you were on the verge of injuring someone physically (you injured a lot of them psychologically) but part of him wondered if he’d still find that attractive. He did get horny whenever you beat a kaiju to a pulp. He wondered if that made him just as fucked up as you. You were a match made in heaven. 

And though he teased you relentlessly about your jealousy, you never failed to remind him just how envious he could be as well. 

If someone touched you during a sparring match, and they kind of had to if they were going to win, he would lose it. If someone asked for your name just to put it on your food order, he’d give them his instead, snarling that they had no business talking to his girl like that. And it wasn’t just the men. Hoshina was convinced that every woman was a lesbian and they were into you. If someone walking by stopped to comment on how they liked your hair or your lipstick, he’d immediately turn you around and steer you in the opposite direction, calling over his shoulder to them that it was too bad that your hair and your lipstick would be fucked up by the time he was finished with you. And you’d let him fuck you up too because his jealousy turned you on just as much as yours turned him on. For him, you turned into a raging, filthy slut.

And, after watching his possessiveness get the better of him, time and time again, you finally figured out why you worked so well together, why you were so obsessed with each other, why thoughts of him consumed you on a daily basis.

His crazy matched your crazy.

[idkwhatever580]

Country Girl

Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x singer!reader

Prompt: One night a drunken Tony forgets y/n’s Texan roots and dares her to sing something different.

Warnings: dumbass Tony, songfic, swearing

A/N: okay guys. I usually dislike country but it’s growing on me. Yes this is low key a vent lol but in a good way? Idk I know the people that I’m linking the songs to. Like I literally know them. (Well the second one I know know and the first one I know her kids better but I know her too lol)

Disclaimer: I do not own these songs. The first song in the fic is not going to be y/n’s but the second one is. I would like to preface this by saying it’s like a face claim but for a song lol idk how to describe it 😭

Y/n’s Pov

I just finished my last song of the night and I am saying my goodbyes to the drunk people of the infamous Stark party.

Then suddenly Tony walks onto the stage (more like trips) and slurs

“You can’t sing good! Only good singers can sing every genre”

I chuckle at him and say

“Tony I can sing every genre. I just don’t.”

He smiles at me like he’s about to win something.

“Prove it. Sing a country song.”

I smirk and look over at Natasha who is on one of the couches watching me from afar and she gives me an eyebrow raise so I say

“What’s in it for me?”

He thinks and says

“You know how you always want me to make you your own iron man suit?”

He waits for me to nod and when I do he continues

“I’ll make one for you if you can sing a country song with no lyrics”

I hold my hand out immediately saying

“Deal”

He pauses and says

“But! You can’t sing one of the popular ones that everybody knows like before he cheats okay?”

I keep my hand out firm and say

“Deal”

So he takes it and we shake on it. I make it a point to look at the crowd and say

“Y’all are seeing this right?!”

They all nod and I once again give Natasha a little smirk knowing I’m getting an Iron Man suit.

So I go backstage for a second and grab my guitar and then I pull up a stool and adjust my mic.

I take a breath and say

“Here goes nothing”

Making the crowd laugh a bit. Honestly anything can make a drunk person laugh.

Either you can listen to this or just read the words. Idc. It helps if you listen. (It’s only part of the song btw)

I start strumming the guitar like my teacher taught me. I learned how to play on this song so it’s in my heart.

But it doesn’t matter. I’m still nervous as fuck. I might have learned how to play with this song but I never had to perform it.

I never stay in one place too long

A dirt road's singing me a siren song

I smile when I start to feel the music. I can see a couple people recognizing the song. But not many since it’s only like half way popular.

I gotta find a field

I need to spin my wheels

I got a hankering for four wide tires

And I can't help it it's the way I'm wired

'Fore you get too close

At the last minute I decide to change the words since I’m gay and I don’t like boys. Don’t wanna send the wrong signals.

Girl you need to know

I got a heart like a truck

It's been drug through the mud

Runs on dreams and gasoline

And that ole highway holds the key

It's got a lead foot down when it's leaving

Lord knows it's taken a hell of a beating

A little bit of love is all that it's needing

But it's good as it is tough

I got a heart like a-

“Hold on hold on hold on!”

Tony cuts me off so I stop playing. I give him nasty look and everyone in the crowd boos him since he literally cut into the song I was singing. But before I can say anything he says

“I know this song. I wanna hear something I haven’t heard before.”

I roll my eyes and say

“Stark, you actually only asked for a not super popular country song. I’m singing a half way popular country song.”

He shakes his head and says

“Okay me something you know I’ve never heard before.”

I smirk and look over at Natasha and she nods her head.

So I run backstage and tune my violin so I can play the bridge and then I set it on my stand and oick up my guitar again.

“You wanna hear something you’ve never heard before? I’ll give you just that”

He narrows his eyes and says

“What’s the song name?”

I sigh and say

“Leave Texas Dry.”

He folds his arms and sways a bit. He’s still drunk as fuck

“Who’s it by?”

I smile at him sweetly and say

“Y/n motherfucking Y/l/n”

His face goes white knowing he just lost and I say

“You seem to have forgotten my roots Anthony. I was born and raised in Texas. In other words you just lost a bet with a country girl.”

He scoffs and says

“Not yet. The song has to be good. How do I know it’s not chicken shit?!”

I smirk and say

“Let me fucking play and you’ll see”

The crowd low key goes wild and I sit my happy ass back down and start playing.

I’ve only played this song for Natasha, but I sure as hell practiced so many times that I memorized it. I was not about to get it wrong in front of my possible girlfriend at the time.

I remember asking her to be my girlfriend after singing it.

Once again I am NOT Kay O’Neil. I am simply an acquaintance that loves her music and also happens to write fanfics lol.

Here’s the song if you wanna listen before reading.

She’s like summer rain

Takes my cares away

Drives me insane

She’s all I need

Just for her to stay

Is all I plead

While singing I start thinking of her. I am only looking right at her and I think of the first time I met her. Before we dated I could not handle myself. It’s almost funny how clumsy and awkward I got around her.

‘Cause when she smiles

My heart can’t take it

And I’d go miles

Just so we could make it

‘Cause I’m startin’ to see

How hard it would be

To let her pass by

And leave Texas dry

I was just a girl from Texas that ended up with powers. I had no idea what my life was to hold.

She’s pourin’ down

And I can’t get enough

Wanna keep her ‘round

I remember the first time we danced in the rain. I was sad and sitting on the roof. She, being my best friend, had come out and sit there with me. Then it started raining and she pulled me up to go inside but I stopped her and asked her to dance with me.

I stepped on her foot a few times but she didn’t mind.

‘Cause when she smiles

My heart can’t take it

And I’d go miles

Just so we could make it

‘Cause I’m startin’ to see

How hard it would be

To let her pass by

And leave Texas dry

I pick up my violin for the bridge and start playing with all my heart.

Then I look at Natasha and smile seeing her bright smile on display. She can make me melt from one look. And I start singing the bridge.

It’s hard lettin’ go

When her love is all I know

But I want her to do

What she wants to

I wrote that because I was terrified. We had a situationship, but she was scared of love. And I was scared of life without her. But I wanted the best for her so I was ready for rejection.

Then I slow it down for the last chorus.

‘Cause when she smiles

My heart can’t take it

And I’d go miles

Just so we could make it

‘Cause I’m startin’ to see

How hard it would be

To let her pass by

And leave Texas dry

She blows me a kiss and I send her a dopey smile and I suddenly remember the black box in my pocket. I kept it on me for any time that was perfect. And honestly. What a better way to do it?

So I move my hand to signal her up here and I give Wanda a look to make sure Tony doesn’t get in the way of it.

She immediately understands and nods her head having her mission set out.

Then Natasha makes it onto the stage as I sing the last few lines.

Oh don’t leave Texas dry

Leave Texas dry

I stand up and look at her and she has a surprisingly watery smile.

I hand her my violin since the stand is behind her and while she turns around I shush the crowd and get down on one knee while getting the ring box.

She turns around and gasps.

I give her a loving look and say

“Natasha. You have been there for me from the very beginning. I remember my first day here and Clint was showing me around telling me not to get hurt if you didn’t like me. But you surprised everyone by volunteering to help me get my things and you were so kind. I knew in that moment I wanted you. I have known for so long I love you. I love you so so much and I will never stop loving you.”

She has her hand covering her mouth and her eyes are watering. The crowd, thankfully, is dead silent except for the few coos from them since the mic is still on. I have my head mic on today instead of using the normal microphone.

“I asked you to be my girlfriend three years ago with this exact song. And when you said yes I almost passed out. I completely expected you to reject me by punching me in the face. I honestly am surprised you haven’t punched me even now. And I thought, what a better time to ask this question than doing it like I did in the beginning. So please. Make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?”

I look hopeful and she pretends to think about it like she did the first time but ultimately she nods and says

“Yes y/n I would love to marry you”

After that I break and let out a sob and shakily place the ring on her finger. She actually had to help me because I was so shaky. But she pulls me up to stand and kisses me in front of everyone.

And then our moment is ruined by Tony patting me on the back.

I look at Wanda and she sends a sympathetic look that says ‘I did all I could’ and then I smile knowing we at least got a moment. But Tony says

“Look at that ladies and gentlemen and everything in between”

I smirk knowing I rubbed off on him. And he continues regardless

“All of this happened because of me.”

I roll my eyes and instead of fighting with him I just let him have his moment knowing he won’t remember this in the morning and say

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. But you still owe me a suit”

He groans and runs off to get another drink. I turn to Natasha and say

“Let’s go to our room fiancé”

A/N: I hope y’all liked it!!! I def let my country out a bit. But not a lot. You can tell I’m from Texas from the y’all

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@ilovesnat @ihartnat

[ironunderstands]

AAAAAAAAA

Genuinely I feel annoying as fuck for saying this but like I can’t stand the way anybody else but me or my mutuals writes Aventio/Ratiorine 90% of the time

So, to vent my frustration, here’s a not in order at all bulleted list of stuff I absolutely despise when seeing content of them. This is not to call ppl out or anything, I just wanna rant about my preferences lol

oh and cw: mentions of slavery, nsfw, suicidal tendencies and non-con

-one or both of them being way to horny/flirty

Maybe this could work in content with an established relationship, but like, these guys don’t fuck, I’m sorry, they don’t. They are the biggest virgin losers ever regardless of if they have had sex in the past or not. Some of yall don’t get that they were acting in Penacony for the most part and Aventurine’s flirtiness didn’t have any weight behind it, he was really just messing with Ratio. I think if he were seriously trying to court Ratio, he’d probably be LESS flirty, but that’s just me. I understand why people make nsfw of them without any kinda buildup because well it’s fun, but for me personally I don’t really like it 90% of the time, however I fully get this is a me thing. I can tolerate it more in fanart bc well it’s fanart so yeah there’s not gonna be 3000k words of lore behind it, but like if I’m reading a fic and Aventio go from not even being in a relationship to having sex on a whim it just confuses me.

-yandere anything

I despise this trope already but it makes me 100000x more annoyed because holy shit neither of them would be a yandere I get it some people like this but WHYY THEMMM it doesn’t make sense. Yandere Aventurine makes me even more mad bc why the fuck would he make someone suffer like he did when he was younger???

-emotionless Ratio

Idk why half the community treats Ratio like he’s an unfeeling logic robot who’s sole goal is knowledge even when the game beats you over the head about how he’s the exact fucking opposite of that, but honestly I think this is just a symptom of the fact that a lot of ratiorine writers don’t give two fucks about him at all and he’s practically written as a plot device for Aventurine’s characterization.

-misunderstanding why Ratio is a tsundere

I’ve seen a lot of people misinterpret how and why Ratio is a tsundere towards Aventurine, citing it as if he doesn’t want to be associated with him/looks down upon him/is ashamed to like him when that’s really not true at all. Ratio respects and cares about Aventurine a hell of a lot, and he isn’t shy at all to show it when it’s necessary (see DSAIWYTBOL or the “if you can’t hold on any longer then tell me”). However, the reason he pushes away Aventurine isn’t exactly personal (although Aventurine’s closeness to him is part of the reason why).

Rather, Ratio tends to downplay his close relationships a lot, likely as a defense mechanism, as he admits himself that he isn’t good with people in one of the dialogue options with trailblazer for the express visits. Now why he is this way is a subject of speculation because Ratio rarely ever talks about himself, and the only character who actually has a voiceline on him is Aventurine himself, so it’s very hard to get an outside perspective on him. His character stories don’t really help that much either, as they are more about his personal philosophy and journey in life rather than his personality.

However, taking what Ratio says towards Aventurine at face value when he has proven the opposite (especially considering how the trope of the tsundere is kinda centered on the character in question spouting bullshit) results in people completely misunderstanding their relationship which can get REALLY annoying. Ratio doesn’t think Aventurine is an idiot in the slightest, he just worries about how his methods put himself in danger, not his capabilities.

-fast burn

You’re telling me these emotionally constipated idiots will get together easily? No. There’s a reason I write the most crazy bullshit happening to them before a confession scene and that’s because that’s the only way you can get them to confront their goddamn feelings quickly.

-slavery aus/anything like this

Self explanatory. If you have fetishized Aventurine’s past or made stuff like this please stay 1000 feet away from me at all times or block me. Thank you 🙏

-babying Aventurine

He’s one of the most competent members of the cast, but somehow people act like his breakdown scene in 2.1 is how he behaves 24/7 when that isn’t true at all. Aventurine is incredibly smart, and single-handedly clawed his way to the top. He does not need Ratio to save him. Would he appreciate Ratio’s support? Of course, and he definitely needs loving relationships in his life, but Aventurine isn’t a damsel in distress and not everything in his life is miserable and related to his trauma.

-or the horrible reverse of babying Aventurine: his trauma doesn’t exist actually and he’s perfectly fine/ they write him like it never happened

This one is rather rare and it has overlap with a few of the other points (seriously I’m gonna tweak out the next time someone writes the character who is implied to have survived sex trafficking being a person who would even dream of crossing others boundaries). Usually this happens because people treat Aventurine’s playboy mask as if it’s his actual personality and not traits he picked up to survive and succeed at his goals, and while admittedly even Aventurine is losing track of where the mask ends and he begins, some of y’all take it wayy to far even going on to unironically call him a fuckboy when he’s anything but that. The thing is, I think this happens when people erase who Kakavasha is from their minds, and act as if that side of Aventurine is a purely innocent child and all the “bad” parts of him are part of Aventurine’s mask. However, that’s not true, and Aventurine’s most admirable traits ARE Kakavasha’s. His strategicness, his intellegence, his bravery, these are all traits he possessed long before becoming Aventurine of stratagems, something which he demonstrated when he for example got his sisters neckless back, or made that bet with his first enslaver.

Aventurine’s purity and Aventurine’s capabilities are not separated between Kakavasha and Aventurine of Stratagems, both of those qualities ARE Kakavasha’s so if you are going to write him with the mask off, you have to write BOTH, not give into one or the other.

The things I tend to drop when writing him with the mask off are his false compliments and niceties, acting like he really gives a shit about the IPC’s goals, turning down the flamboyance and cockiness to reasonable levels and making him seem less like he’s playing pretend. Honestly I don’t think it’s that hard yet this is still a pitfall I see a lot of people stumbling into.

-Ratio talking like a goddamn encyclopedia

I understand he’s like that sometimes, but he also is well versed in internet lingo and seriously nobody unironically talks like that 24/7 because it’s pointless, and Ratio doesn’t use big words to seem smart, he uses them when they are necessary.

Like I’m sorry but if they are in a middle of having sex and unprompted Ratio starts talking like a biology textbook I’m closing the fic and running around my room screaming BECAUSE GOD IS IT CRINGE. Promoted it can be funny because yeah I can see him doing that but oh my god HE WOULD NOT SAY THAT I don’t even want to give an example it pisses me off that bad but trust me it’s a common phenomenon AND I HATE IT

-Aventurine trying to kill himself 24/7

He isn’t an active suicide risk every goddamn day of his life, he’s just self destructive and those are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

Yes, he tested if you could die in the dreamscape several times, but that’s because one of the favorable outcomes for his mission WOULD BE DYING in the dreamscape. He’s not doing this during a normal work week and even if I believe he still has suicidal tendencies, he’s not gonna throw his life away randomly or over nothing

-Ratio holds authority over Aventurine in any capacity

No, just no. Like the only other thing he might have over him is being intelligent, although they both are smart at different things so even then does it matter? Like I’m sorry but normal human with the ability to float and make imaginary constructs versus LITERAL FUCKING STONEHEART is not a fair fight on Ratio’s end. It doesn’t matter that he’s physically larger than Aventurine, muscles don’t mean shit in a sci-fi setting, especially when your opponent can just summon 3 bajillion coins to drop into your head at a whim and there’s nothing you can do about it. Not like Aventurine would ever dream of hurting him, of course, but seriously people need to stop acting like their different in stature really means anything. Even in terms of position, Aventurine probably outranks him so this false sense of authority people apply to Ratio in their relationship is confusing at best.

Hmm, well that’s all the things I remember to bitch about although I probably have more complaints. To be fair, whenever they aren’t written like incredibly smart people who are idiots hopelessly in love with one another when together I pop a blood vessel so most of these (besides THAT one) are non issues and if you have made/enjoyed these don’t feel ashamed because of my opinions. I needed to let out my inner grinch every once and awhile, so thanks for reading