#bro have you ever even been kicked out of you house at 8. 13. 14. 15. because you either fought back or expressed yourself too openly

[narutomaki]

people will tell me it doesn't matter what people think about me and then turn around and go home/online to the people that love and care about them unconditionally

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29

_________________________

Pt 29 - Sir Reginald and the Kids of the Round Table

You watched as Five disappeared and Luther walked out of the building with Diego trailing behind. You continued to face towards the downstairs area as you mumbled,

"Great."

From behind you, you can hear Allison question curiously,

"Number Zero, huh?" Allison

You turn around to look at her, annoyance written all over your face. You didn't want to deal with the conversation like this, let alone at all.

"It wasn't my choice. You think I wanted to be reduced to a number? I didn't care in the slightest that zero came before one." You replied, "I'm a person with a name, not an experiment and I made sure he followed that."

"So you are dear old daddy's favorite. Y'know I always kind of figured so. Never understood why though since you're the exact opposite of what he wanted his children to be." Klaus says with a drunken laugh

"Hell if I know. Our relationship has always been...complex." You state as you cross your arms over your chest

You couldn't quite grasp if they were just curious about the revelation or if they were actually upset by finding out their dad had called you number zero. Even if Luther was done with his dad, he still seemed to care a lot about it and unfortunately, they all still had their issues with their father so you had no clue how they might feel. You hoped it was just curiosity because you had never wanted to be zero and you really couldn't think of a circumstance in which you would accept such a name. It would have to be the only option left to agree to such a thing but Five and you all were going to stop the apocalypse so it wouldn't be a worry. You stand around awkwardly as a silence looms in the air over those of you who were still in the apartment. Wondering if and when the rest of them would come back, you all waited for a bit. After a few moments though Klaus broke the silence and said,

"This had been nice but you know, I could really go for some tacos right now. Allison?"

"Tacos? Shouldn't we wait?" Allison questioned

"You know those guys. I mean, it could take forever for them to bro it out. Vanya, tacos?" Klaus replies

"Is there any way that tacos are gonna cause the end of the world?" Vanya asks

"I mean, there's only one way to find out, right?" Klaus remarks

"Sure is." Allison chimes

"Let's go!" Klaus exclaims

"Where are you guys going? We need to figure out how to stop the...apocalypse" You tried to exclaim but it was no use

You stood at the top of the balcony as you watched them leave. You were starting to understand how Five felt dealing with his siblings. From behind you, you hear a voice say,

"I've missed you all...so much."

Ben.

"If it means anything, I missed you too." You state as you turn back around looking in Ben's direction

He turns his head to face you and replies,

"It does."

He looked at you and you cocked your head to the side slightly, intrigued at the sight before you. You realized what had felt off about him earlier. You hadn't quite noticed it because when he sat on the TV stand he was so far away but with him up close you realized, you could see him. Clearly. Before when you saw him he was more so just a giant blob of moving particles. Sometimes you could make out a head or arms but it was like static on a TV, no picture was clearly there. But now everything was so defined. It was as if the static had cleared and now you could see him in high definition. You could see his hair, his face, actual appendages like hands and fingers, and...ghost clothes? The point was he looked more like a person. He was still just a bunch of disturbed molecules but now he looked real. All that visualization practice with Charlie finally paid off. Slowly, you approached the seat he was sitting in and leaned down so you were face to face with him. Ben looked back at you confused. You were so close and he didn't know what was going on.

"Are you okay?" Ben asks concerned

You pull back and stand up straight.

"Stand up, Ben." You command

"What?" Ben questions

"Stand up."

Ben hesitantly stands up. You had never been so demanding with him before and he was highly confused about why you were so adamant about him stand up. He looks at you silently as you tell him,

"Lift your arms up, like this." You demonstrate to Ben

"T-pose!" Charlie exclaims

"Correct, but not in this instance." You say turning your attention to Charlie before turning back to Ben "Just trust me."

Ben looked at you and although he was confused there was a genuine look in your eyes. Unlike his siblings, you were trustworthy, you had never done him wrong. Slowly, Ben raised his arms like you had instructed before he got his arms up fully you wrapped your arms around his torso. You were hugging him. It wasn't a perfect hug because he wasn't solid, and if you held him too tight your arms would go through him, but you could feel the barrier of molecules where his back was and tried to balance your arms there. It took a second for Ben to register what was going on but once he did he carefully wrapped his arms back around you. This was the first hug he had gotten in years. He couldn't remember the last time someone held him but at this moment he forgot that he was a ghost and for the first time in years he felt like a person. Ben leaned more into the hug as he took in every second of it. He had wanted this for so long. He tried to wrap his arms around you tighter to bring you, the only other person who could see him, closer. But as he did so his arms went through you and he remembered a glaring fact.

He was still dead.

Although he was disappointed by the reality of his existence and the façade of normalcy he felt a moment ago, he held on anyway. With the way things were going he didn't know if he'd get this ever again. After a bit, you pulled away and shot him a smile. You wondered if Klaus was kind to his brother with no real autonomy but you also hoped that Ben was kind to his evidently struggling sibling. You looked around the place and saw that no one had returned as of yet.

"Hmm. Five would've been back by now." You comment

"Unless he ran off to do something," Charlie retorts

"Good point. I'm going to go take a look around outside real quick." You state before turning to Charlie "Charlie talk to Ben while I'm gone."

"Where is he? I can't see him like you can." Charlie asks

You use your arms to gesture to the space before you where Ben was standing. Charlie approaches albeit confused but tries his best to stand in front of him. With that, you start to walk away to head outside to look for Five but as you do Charlie calls out,

"Wait! He can't reply. What do I talk about?"

"I don't know, Russian Literature?" You shoot back

"That's a big no-no in my house. Y'know with my dad working for the government and all."

"Right. 1960s anti-Russian sentiment. Uh, just talk about something he can relate to then." You reply as you walk away

Charlie turns to Ben and the last thing you can hear is him asking,

"Do you want to hear about my shitty dad?"

With that, you walk out to try and find Five but he would be nowhere to be found. After seeing Lila on the roof he immediately started to chase after her. One, because he absolutely despised her and wanted her dead but also because he didn't want her anywhere near you or his family. If he played along with her little chase game he could get her further from you and his siblings. Five follows close behind as Lila continues to run, leading him away from the main part of town towards the industrial sector. Five keeps his distance as he follows her to what looks like an abandoned paint warehouse. He hides behind a wall as he sees her grab a small plank of wood and smash open the window of a door, letting herself into the building. Cautiously, he trails behind her. Looking into the building he makes sure the coast is clear before spatial jumping behind Lila. Lila turns on her heel to look at Five. He shoves his hands into his pockets and with a sarcastic smirk on his face he questions,

"What's your game, crazy lady?"

"Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me." Lila comments

"Oh, I remember." Five states

"Well, come on, big talker. Let's get this done." Lila taunts

"All right." Five replies

Spatial jumping Five attempts to attack her from behind but somehow Lila anticipates his movement and roundhouse kicks him in the jaw knocking him backward. Five grabs his jaw and attempts to get up while Lila runs away. Five chases her down a corridor of the abandoned warehouse, spatial jumping in front of her stopping her in her tracks. He then rushes her, jumping into the air to kick her but she leans back and dodges his attack. Landing on his feet Five immediately spins backward to kick her and lands a hit on her jaw. The two of them go blow of blow landing some hits on each other and missing others. Taking a few steps back Lila jumps over a large piece of concrete and Five follows. Looking towards where she should be Five finds nothing. He stops in his tracks but then hears,

"I'm waiting."

Five looks over to where the voice came from and there across the room stood Lila. He looked at her confused. How did she get over there so quickly? That didn't matter. Five jumped over to where she would be but once again she was nowhere to be found.

"Fed up yet, Five?" Lila mocks

Five turned to where the voice came from and there she was standing across the room again. Five stopped for longer and stared in her direction. The confusion and frustration of this situation built up inside of him. Looking around Five finds a pipe on the ground. Picking it up he spatial jumps over to where Lila was standing but instead of hitting her, he hits an electrical box. Turning around he sees her behind him and as she lifts one of her legs up to kick him he sweeps the other one out from under her making her fall to her back on the ground. Five then step on her neck keeping her in place. Through a choked voice Lila comments,

"You're better than I thought."

"And you are entirely average." Five belittles before calling "You can come out now."

Five can hear the familiar clacking of heels on the floor behind him. The Handler.

"Well done. You figured it out." The Handler says

"Well, it wasn't very hard. She fights like every one of you Commission drones." Five retorts, his focus still on keeping Lila down

"Hmm. No matter, here we are. Together again. I've gotta ask...did you miss me, you little shit?" The Handler questions

Five looks at her. His expression filled with subdued anger. There's a silence in the room except for the distorted laughter of Lila from the floor.

"You've got a good nose." The Handler comments

"You know, planting her in a psych ward, taking advantage of my simpleton brother, that was smart." Five replies sarcastically as he presses his foot down harder on Lila's throat causing her to struggle

"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." The Handler states as she looks down at Lila

Five's head whips towards the Handler.

"She's your..." Five starts to question

"Daughter. Yes. And she's my only one, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't crush her windpipe." The Handler answers

Lila continues to struggle but Five reluctantly lifts his foot off her throat letting her go free. She gasps for air as she stands up and makes her way to her mother's side. She then slowly approaches Five getting in his face and states,

"I am so going to enjoy killing you someday."

"Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?" The Handler requests

"Yes, the grown-ups need to talk." Five adds with a cocky smile

Lila looks to her mother in hopes that she changes her mind but to no avail. Lila rolls her eyes and walks away to the other side of the room annoyed, angrily flipping a piece of metal so that it clatters to the ground. When Lila is far enough away Five takes a step closer to the Handler and in a low voice asks,

"What is it you want?"

"Do you like jazz, Five?" The Handler asks back

"I'd rather lick a cheese grater." Five retorts

"Aww. Jazz is like a beautiful woman. Complex, emotional, hard to please. She doesn't just give it to you...she makes you work for it." The Handler explains as she walks around the room

Five places his hands in his pockets and turns on his heel to face her. Keeping his distance he replies,

"I have no experience with the type of woman you're talking about so I'm really hoping that you're going somewhere with this analogy."

The Handler walks back over to him and with a smile adds,

"Under my leadership, the Commission would sound more like...jazz."

"And what about the board of directors?" Five questions critically getting up in her face

"Well, that's where you come in." The Handler replies tapping his nose with her pointer finger

Five takes a step back away from her and cocks his head to the side. In a firm tone, he states,

"Nope. No, it isn't."

The Handler walks around Five to the space behind him and elaborates,

"In exchange for the assassination of the board, I'm willing to get you, your family, and that girlfriend you love so dearly out of this timeline and back to 2019 where you belong."

"And what about World War III that's due to kick off in just a few days?" Five inquires turning to look at her

"Once you, your girlfriend, and your siblings are gone, that goes away."

"And the apocalypse when we get back to 2019?"

"That too."

Five leans in looking at her critically. The cynic in him was screaming about the nonchalant nature of her statements. This was a woman who would do anything for power so Five knew there was some type of plan she had in her head. In a lowered voice Five angrily criticizes,

"I distinctly remember you telling me that that apocalypse had to happen, that it was supposed to happen."

The Handler walks around Five once more so she is directly behind him. As she walks she explains,

"Back then I was toeing the company line, but once I'm in charge..."

The Handler then presses herself up against Five's back leans in closer to his ear. Five didn't like how close she was and tensed up as he felt her against him.

We can riff." The Handler whispered in his ear

Five took a step forward putting a small amount of distance between the two as he stated,

"Jazz."

"Exactly." The Handler replies as she walks in front of him again

Five turns and walks away from her scratching the back of his neck. Taking a breath he turns back around to face her, a sizable distance now between them. Looking at the Handler, Five questions,

"What about the board of directors, hmm? I mean, nobody knows who they are."

"Correct. But once every fiscal quarter, they get together for a board meeting."

"Where?" Five asks looking at her curiously

"The question is when. They meet somewhere in the timeline but never in the same place twice. The exact location and date of these board meetings is the most closely-guarded secret in the Commission."

Five looks around, an unsurprised smirk appearing across his face. He turns away for a second as he comments,

"But you know where it's gonna be, don't you?"

"Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't? Listen Five, don't think about it as killing the board for me, think about it as getting to live out the rest of your newfound life with (Y/N)."

With the sound of your name leaving her mouth and hitting his ears he quickly turns on his heel to face her. A wave of adrenaline and anger coursed through his veins as he flashed closer to her. He stared her down with malicious intent as he demanded,

"How do you know her name."

"Oh calm down Five. I work for the commission how could I not? Truly, your love story is one for the ages, don't you think?" The Handler remarks in a cheery yet malevolent tone

She walks towards him that facade of kindness and charity not fooling him in the slightest. As she walks around him she details in that false-kind tone,

"Two best friends fall in love at a young age before being separated for years on end. You witness her death and swear to go back and prevent it with only some book and a necklace to remember her by. How sweet."

As she comes back to stand directly in front of him she comments,

"I bet you're wearing that necklace right now, aren't you?"

Indeed he was. Hiding under the shirt his academy uniform was the locket you had given him all those years ago. Unconsciously, when she mentioned it he brought his hand up to cover where it rested as if trying to protect it from her. Trying to protect you from her. Five lets out an angered huff before commanding firmly,

"You leave her out of this. Whatever game you're trying to play is between you and me."

"Fine. But remember, doomsday's right around the corner, and the way things are going, I'm your only option to save her."

Five takes a step towards her and looks her dead in the eyes.

"Not yet you aren't."

And without another word, he flashes away. He was going to get you and his family out of here and he was going to do it without her help.

You on the other hand had gone outside to look for him but he was nowhere to be found.  As you turned and walked back towards Elliott's place you mumbled to yourself,

"Hopefully it doesn't take him four years to get back."

Teleporting yourself inside the building you can hear Charlie say,

"And then when I was ten my mom died and my dad hired a nanny to take care of me instead of you know doing it himself. Because he sucks."

"I wish you could hear me because you are so right!" You can hear Ben yell back

You smirk a little at two of your friends hanging out and bonding over shitty dads. You still couldn't relate but it was funny to hear them so passionate about it. Transporting yourself upstairs you tell the two of them,

"Can't find him."

"Well, the good news is he's like a boomerang. He always comes back." Charlie replies cheerfully before adding "I don't blame him though. That family meeting was shit."

"He has a point. It was so bad." Ben comments

You plop down on the couch across from the two of them and ask aloud,

"When was the last time we actually had a good family gathering?"

"Our 13th birthday party," Ben answers just a little too fast

He wasn't wrong though. Granted, you had never been to a family gathering again until Reginald's funeral but from that experience, you were sure that there were probably plenty of awful gatherings before as well.

"I guess it was better than it could've gone though. It was mainly a lot of arguing and only one murder attempt this time." You comment

"You base how well a gathering goes on how many attempted murders there are?" Charlie questions

"Partially," you answer

"I say this with the utmost respect but y'all are fucked up." Charlie states

"Yeah. I know." You reply nodding your head

You kick your feet up on the coffee table trying to find some type of relaxation after all of the mess that had occurred. It had felt like a week's worth of activities was shoved into less than 24 hours. If only you could put a stop to this whole apocalypse mess. You lean back more on the couch and as you do so Ben asks,

"So you've been living with my dad in this time?"

"Yup. I didn't choose it though, it was more of just a domino effect of events. Dropped in the alley, found by mom, who was an actual person in the '60s surprisingly, we met your dad, human mom adopted me, human mom started dating your dad, and then we just permanently moved in with him." You explain "But it's alright, I typically just hang out with Charlie and we avoid people most of the time so it's been fine. Right, Charlie?"

"It's decent," Charlie says with a shit-eating grin

Ben gets a laugh from Charlie's impersonal response and you roll your eyes.

"Okay, wow." you respond sarcastically before turning to Ben and asking "What have you been up to Ben?"

"Reluctantly following Klaus and his cult around for the past 3 years because I had nowhere else to go."

"You know I'm both surprised and not surprised that Klaus started a cult." You respond

"From what you told me it seems pretty on-brand for him (Y/N)," Charlie says

"Well, he rolled the highest charisma stat of the family." You responded

"Huh?" Ben questions

"Don't worry about it. It's not important. Just an old D&D reference that my friends would get." You reply to him, your voice dropping off

You missed your friends. You missed a lot of things from 2019 but the experiences and memories with them are what you missed most of all. You loved being with Charlie and you wouldn't trade his friendship for anything but it was the little things like weekly D&D or going out and wrecking criminals or Wii Just Dance competitions that you wished you had back. You had to get out of this timeline at some point so you hoped you'd see them again.

"So where have you been staying now since you've been back in Dallas, Ben?" Charlie questions somehow forgetting he can't hear the response

"The cult has a sprawling estate in the more affluential part of Dallas. It's been pretty abandoned but we're all back now." Ben answers also forgetting that Charlie can't hear him

Charlie and Ben stare at each other in silence waiting for someone to say something. You snap out of your thoughts and burst out laughing realize what was going on. It was even funnier because while you could see Ben looking back you knew anyone else viewing this would see Charlie just staring off in the distance. Through your laughs, you chime in,

"Charlie, you can't hear him, remember?"

"Oh right," Charlie replies with a small chuckle

"Anyway, he's living in the abandoned estate near our houses. I guess it's not so abandoned anymore though since the whole cult is back."

"Oh, so that's whose cult lived by us. Small world I guess." Charlie says

"It must be interesting living with a cult." You remark

"It's a mess," Ben replies

"A mess? It can't be that bad can it?" You question

"You should stop by and visit tomorrow. See it for yourself." Ben suggests

"Well, we'll have to see where the day goes tomorrow given the...everything." You explain gesturing vaguely

You were about to say more when you suddenly felt a quick flash of disturbance. It was a familiar feeling and knew exactly what it correlated to. Turning your attention towards the downstairs portion of the building you called out,

"Five, is that you?"

After an unfortunate encounter with the Handler, Five was in a poor mood, to say the least. But there was just something about the sound of you calling his name that made him feel a bit better. A small smile came to his face and he spatial jumped once more up to the top part of Elliott's building. He saw you sitting on the couch and asked,

"How did you know I was back?"

"I can feel the disturbance of your spatial jumps. Feels like the back of my neck got flicked."

"Ah, I see." He replies

He then walks over to the couch you were on and sits right down next to you. Wrapping one arm around your shoulders he pulls you closer and places a soft kiss on your temple making you blush.

"Where did you go, Five?" Charlie questions

"Unfortunately, I had a run-in with Diego's crazy girlfriend and found out her mom is my former boss." Five explains

"So she wasn't just some random girl. She was a plant." You comment

"Yes. She was trying to get to me the whole time." Five adds

"Of course Diego would be the type to fall for a plant," Ben said sarcastically

You rolled your eyes but he had a point. You loved your brother dearly and in many cases, he was very tactile and smart but when it came to women and his emotions he had some room for improvement. As you all sat there you could hear the phone ring from the other room. Charlie promptly gets up and goes to answer it.

"Hello? Oh hi. Yes, I can put her on the phone." Charlie says before calling a bit louder "(Y/N) it's for you."

You were curious as to who could be calling you so you got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen with Five following along behind you. Taking the phone from Charlie you place it to your ear and say,

"Hello?"

"Oh, (Y/N) sweetie it's so good to hear your voice! Charlie had called last night but said that you had gone to bed already. I was so worried about you. Are you doing alright?" Your mom asked

"Yes mom, I'm doing alright," you responded

"Oh thank goodness. Listen, Charlie's dad said it's safe for the two of you to come back home." Your mom added

"Oh, okay. I'll let him know. We'll be back soon." You reply

"Okay, sweetie! I love you!"

"Love you too Mom."

You hang up the phone and turn around to look at the group of people behind you. Focusing your attention on Charlie you tell him,

"Your dad said it's safe for us to go back home."

"Oh." Charlie says "That's unfortunate."

"Very." You reply with a sigh

Everything was moving so fast. You had just gotten your boyfriend and you barely got to spend any time with him. Sure you two had a few sweet moments together but with the looming threat of the apocalypse again you didn't know how many more you'd get and when. Your poor mother though. She probably stayed up all night worried about you. You didn't want to prolong that worry because it wasn't something she deserved. You turn your attention to Five and place a hand on his cheek.

"I swear we never get enough time together," you say as you look into his eyes

Five wrap his arms lightly around your waist and looks at you with love in his eyes.

"No time is ever enough time with you, ma chérie."

"Perhaps you're right," you comment

"I know I am." He jokes

You roll your eyes at him. Even in the most chaotic of times he always managed to make your heart skip a beat.

"Well, I better head out then." You state

Five leans down and places a kiss on the top of your head, holding you closer in the process. Oh, how you loved this boy. Tilting your head up you placed a peck to his cheek before slowly leaving his embrace. Gently, you pull your hand back from his cheek and see how he leans into your touch. You smile at him,

"I'll see you soon my love."

"As soon as can be." He replies

You and Charlie then started to make your way out of the building with Five following the two of you until you reached the door. You looked back at him one more time before finally exiting and making your way to Charlie's car. The two of you get in the car and Charlie drives the way back to your house. When you arrive, you both exit the car and head inside. You had barely stepped through the door when your mom threw her arms around you pulling you into a tight hug in the same manner as when you came home after your car being shot up only a few days before. Your poor mother having to deal with so much stress about your safety in only a few days' time. You wouldn't wish this on anyone.

"I'm so glad you're okay, sweetie." Your mom exclaims

"Me too, mom." You reply

From the corner of your eye, you can see Reginald approaching you all. You let go of your mother and turn to face him along with Charlie and your mom.

"I see that you managed to bring her back safely," Reginald says to Charlie

"Yes. Not a scratch on her, sir." Charlie states

"Very well. It's pleasant to have you back at the manor (Y/N)." Reginald states

"Thank you." You reply flatly

You all stood there for a second but you didn't want to be there much longer. Trying to make a quick getaway you start to walk towards the stairs but look back at the others saying,

"I think I'm going to change out of this gala dress and into something more comfortable so I can relax after such a day of tension. How about you go home and do the same Charlie and then we can all have dinner together."

"Sure, that sounds like a good idea. I'll be back." He says before leaving the manor and heading to his car

You continue to walk while looking towards your mom and Reginald and accidentally bump into Marie causing her to drop a piece of paper on the ground. Bending over you pick up the paper as she profusely apologizes to you. Quickly, you skim over the paper and see what it reads.

From the Office of Sir Reginald Hargreeves

To My Pursuers:

I, Reginald Hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the 20th of November, 1963, at half-past seven o'clock.

1624 Magnolia Street Dallas, Texas

You knew that location and you had a strong hunch of who those pursuers that were being addressed were. Looks like you knew what you were doing at 7:30 pm tomorrow. You hand the letter back to Marie and accept her apologies saying that you were not paying attention to where you were going before heading upstairs to your room. The rest of the night went on without a hitch and as usual, Charlie slept over for the night. The two of you stayed up late as you discussed the events that had occurred in prior days and how the dots were starting to connect together. You also detailed the letter you had read and your plans for the following day.

That was not a smart decision though as it led to both of you sleeping in significantly late. By the time you two woke up, it was already the afternoon. Trying to make sure you were able to do everything you wanted to do, you both quickly got ready ate a small meal, and sped off down the road towards Klaus' cult estate. Both of you had wanted to see it in person and wondered what went on behind the closed doors. And you were already invited by Ben to see the chaos of cult life so why would you turn such an invitation down. As you approached the driveway to the estate Charlie slowed the car down. Turning into the driveway Charlie carefully approached the building. Once you were close enough to it you stepped out of the car and walked the short distance to the entrance as you did so a woman in loose blue clothing and a flower crown noticed the two of you and smiles.

"Hello, friends! Are you here to meet the prophet?" She asks in a kind voice

"Why yes, we are." Charlie states

"A spirit of your prophet invited us to come today." You add

"How lovely! Please follow me." She instructs

The two of you look at each other before following the woman inside the house and down a corridor. As you follow her you see lines of people kneeling on opposite sides of a door. Some are playing tambourines while others hold baskets in their hands. Suddenly, the doors to a room open and you watch as Klaus walks out of the room in only his underwear. That was not a sight you ever thought you would have to see and yet, you did. The followers who held baskets in their hands threw flower petals at Klaus. Whatever was going on had barely even started but you could see why Ben had called it a mess. You and Charlie approach a little closer and see a large room filled with people in blue clothing sitting on the floor. You and Charlie give each other a side-eye glance before looking back at the scene before you;

"Okay, thank you. Sit down. My name is Klaus, and I am an alcoho...Sorry, that's the wrong meeting." Klaus starts

Klaus lets out a nervous laugh but the group is unfazed. You watch as the followers look on with eager eyes as they listen to every word he says. Realizing he needs to say something Klaus continues,

"Uh, in my walkabout, I did a lot of thinking, searching, ruminating, and there's something that I'd like to share with all of you. I'm a fraud. Yeah, I- I've been lying to all of you from- from the start, and, uh...I'm a complete and total fraud." You can see Klaus look over to Ben after finishing his statement and Ben giving him back an acceptable nod. The crowd murmurs to themselves but not long after one man stands up from the crowd and looks around at the others. "Me too. I- I'm a fraud too." The man says

"What is going on?" Charlie whispers to you

"I don't know." you reply quietly

The man approaches Klaus and knees before him continuing,

"I'm the worst kind of fraud. I- I am a fraud to myself. But your scriptures say, As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive."

"He used the song I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor as his "scripture" to these people. I bet he did, I bet he stole it." You comment quietly to Charlie

Right after you finish your statement to Charlie, Klaus replies to the man, "But that's not scripture. Okay? That's a song lyric by disco diva Gloria Gaynor, and I stole it!"

"Called it." You state

The crowd murmurs the name Gloria Gaynor to each other in confusion as they wait for Klaus to speak more. Klaus didn't know what to say though and you could see him cracking under the pressure of trying to admit his falseness to the group.

"Look, eh, you guys don't wanna follow me. I can't lead you anywhere. I'm not a guru, I'm not a messiah, I'm...I'm a...fraud! And I don't know what I'm doing up here. I- I don't. I'm just, you know...making it up as we...You- You people should all just...go back to your families." Klaus rambles

The man who had kneeled in front of Klaus before could be heard crying. Letting out a sigh Klaus approaches the man, places his hands on the back of his neck so he will look at him, and in a hushed tone states, "Keechie...Stop, stop, stop, stop. Look, look, look at me in the face, okay? It's okay. It's okay, though. Listen. Everything is gonna be okay. Okay?" "I understand." The man replies

"Good," Klaus says "When we admit our own fraudulence, only then can we experience true humility." The man continues "No, no, no, no, no, no! That's not what I meant. It's not what I meant." Klaus exclaims turning to the group

All the members one by one stand up exclaiming aloud how they are a fraud. You look across the hall and see Ben there standing with a shocked face. As Klaus climbs up the few stairs to stand in the archway again the lady who had brought you into the house approaches Klaus and says,

"Prophet, two visitors have come to see you."

Klaus takes a look in your direction and sees you and Charlie standing there. Opening his arms wide he exclaims with a smile on his face,

"(Y/N)! Come here!"

Reluctantly, you approach him and bring him into a hug. It was quite awkward given the fact he was only in his underwear but yet it was kind of sweet. Even with all the stuff he had done and was currently doing he was still the same Klaus you knew as a kid. You could hear as the crowd of followers went from exclaiming their fraudulence to quiet whispers.

"What brings you and your friend here (Y/N)?" Klaus asks

"We were invited by a spirit of yours,"  you answer

Klaus takes a look over towards Ben before replying,

"Must've been the pushy and annoying spirit that dragged you here."

"Prophet, who is this (Y/N)?" Keechie asks

"Ah. (Y/N) is my...soul sister..." Klaus lies "We have walked similar paths in life, seen similar things, and although we were physically separated as children our souls are intertwined."

There are oohs and ahhs that come from the crowd of people in the room before you and from behind you, you can hear Charlie trying to stifle laughter. Turning to look at him you shoot him a death glare. This was not entertaining.

"Oh soul sister to the prophet, do you have wisdom of your own that you can bless upon us?" Keechie asks as he kneels before you

"Oh jeez..." You mumble pinching the bridge of your nose "what did I get myself into?"

"Klaus, don't put (Y/N) through this." Ben comments from the sidelines

"Uh..." Klaus says "Hey soul sister, do you have anything for them?"

"Oh my god, Klaus," Ben complains

From behind you, you can hear Charlie start a slow chant,

"Knowledge. Knowledge. Knowledge."

You whip towards him and exclaim,

"Charlie!"

He does not stop though, instead, he just continues to chant and encourages the followers until all of them are chanting,

"Knowledge! Knowledge! Knowledge!"

"Fine!" You exclaim

All the people in the room quiet down and look at you intently. Taking a deep breath you wrack your brain for something to tell them. Completely bullshitting this whole ordeal you take a page out of Klaus' playbook and start to quote a song lyric,

"If you're lost...you can look, and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall...I will catch you. I'll be waiting. Time after time."

You then turn to Klaus and simultaneously you both repeat,

"Time after time."

When the two of you finish there is an uproar of cheers. People excitedly repeat the "knowledge" that you had blessed them with to themselves and to each other. These people were so brainwashed, it was ridiculous.

"What the fuck..." You say to yourself

"Yeah, I know." Klaus responds "How about I go put on some clothes and give the two of you a tour?"

"Why not? I guess..." You reply confused

Klaus goes and puts clothes on but as he does so many of the members of his cult come up and bow before you or touch you. it was odd, to say the least, and you definitely wanted it to stop. When Klaus came back out with his clothes he told the members to disperse as he took you by one arm and Charlie by the other showing you around. the estate was nice, but every time you ran into a member they'd look at you and Klaus in odd reverence. After what felt like forever you and Charlie decided that it was time to leave and never come back. You said goodbye to Klaus and waved goodbye to Ben, although you were sure that you would see them quite soon. Making your way back to Charlie's car you saw another person walking up towards the estate building. You can see Charlie's expression change from neutral to surprised.

"Hey, Dave." Charlie greets slightly confused

"Oh hey, Charlie. How are ya?" Dave asks

"Doing pretty well. How about you? The hardware business treating you well?" Charlie replies

"It's going well. I'm actually joining the army. Shipping off in about a week." Dave answers "But who's this Charlie? Your girlfriend?"

"Oh no she has a boyfriend already. This is my close friend (Y/N). (Y/N) this is Dave, we went to high school together but he was a grade above me. He was one of the only people who was nice to me." Charlie says

You extend your hand out to shake his and he grabs your hand shaking back.

"I haven't seen you around before are you new to the area?" Dave asks

"Oh, I dropped into Dallas about four years ago. I live with my mom and her partner down the road."  You explain

"Well, it's very nice to meet you (Y/N). It's unfortunate we didn't get to meet sooner, but hopefully when I get back you, Charlie, and I can all talk and get some floats down at the diner." Dave says in a cheerful tone

This poor boy. He's so sweet and innocent. You just met him and you wished you could stop him from going off to war. Especially since he was probably head to Vietnam. It was an unnecessary war. All of the proxy wars were bullshit but you couldn't do much about it. You put on a smile as best as you can.

"That sounds lovely. I look forward to it."  you comment "But we must get going, I have a family dinner to attend to, and I really don't want to be late."

"Alright, well it was nice to see you Charlie, and nice to meet you (Y/N). Hope you have a nice dinner." Dave says

"Thank you." You respond

"Thanks, Dave," Charlie adds

With that Dave heads off towards the mansion and you and Charlie head towards the car. When the two of you get into the car Charlie comments sarcastically,

"Oh, I dropped into Dallas about four years ago. Real clever."

"Shut up and drive." you retort

Charlie rolls his eyes with a smirk on his face and pulls out of the driveway heading towards the hotel where the dinner would be taking place.

While you were headed towards the Southland Life hotel, Five had already arrived. He looked down at his invitation to make sure he was at the right place but once he had done so he headed towards the entrance and inside the building. Making his way up an ornate staircase he looked around a bit before finding the elevator. Calling the elevator, the doors opened and Five stepped inside. He looked at the panel of floor buttons before pressing one of them and waited for the doors to close. None of his siblings had shown up. He was going to have to deal with the old man alone. He was prepared to do so...somewhat. But still he had hoped for him and his siblings to go together to confront him. Five stared off as the elevators started to close trying to build up thr confidence to face his father after all these years. He wished you could've been there by his side, but you had no reason to be invited, you weren't a "pursuer". Right as the door were about to shut and hand comes in to bring the doors back open.

"Wait up." Diego says entering the elevator "Hold it." Allison adds "Hey, everyone." Klaus greets drunkenly

Vanya enters the elevator silently as Luther follows quietly saying, "Excuse me."

Five looks around at his siblings. They all came. Five faces forward and a small smile appears.

"Good. We're all here." He says

Five's face returns to a neutral expression as the elevator doors finally close and they head up the floors to where they would be meeting their father. As they do an awful smell starts to spread within the elevator. "Oh..." Allison says

"Oof." Five complains as he pinches his nose closed

"Luther!" Klaus exclaims

"Oh, my God." Vanya comments "Sorry, I'm nervous." Luther apologizes

When the doors open to the floor everyone rushes out trying to get away from the toxic environment inside the elevator. Walking into the tiki bar where they were meeting the siblings catch their breath and take in some clean air. As they all make their way around the table in the center of the room Five turns to his siblings and says, "All right, when Dad gets here, I'll do the talking, okay?" "Got a few questions for him myself." Diego responds

"Hey, we don't wanna scare him off. He might be able to help us stop doomsday, get us home." Five retorts annoyed "No, we need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president."

It was ridiculous that he was still continuing on with this whole "Dad is going to kill Kennedy" thing. Could he not give it up for a day? For an hour? Of course not. That would require some form of critical thinking, of which he had none. "This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile."  Five chastises   "Okay, yeah, maybe we should take turns talking. Yeah?" Vanya suggests picking up something from a nearby table "Here, whoever has got this conch shell gets to talk." "Vanya, we don't have time for a debate, okay?" Five replies already frustrated at the group "Maybe I should lead. We all know I'm a better public speaker than the rest." Allison suggests grabbing the conch from Vanya "Okay, Daddy's girl." Diego comments sarcastically "Oh, jealous, Number Two?" Allison retorts "Hey, no more numbers. No more bullshit." Diego demands as he approaches Allison "Uh, Diego. You don't have the conch." Luther mentions politely

Diego gives Luther a smile before grabbing the conch from Allison's hand. Once he fully has it though he quickly proceeds to throw it at a wall smashing it to pieces. "Classic." Allison comments, rolling her eyes

As the siblings argued upstairs you had just arrived at the building. Charlie had parked around the back so you wouldn't been seen by anybody who may have arrived for this meeting. Before you got out of the car Charlie questions,

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I should be there. Whatever is happening is important and I should know about it." You reply

"This is going to be a family gathering but with Reginald. I can only assume it will go worse than the events of yesterday. Do you really want to deal with that?" Charlie asks confused

"No. But I feel I need to be there. This an issue for all eight of us."

"Okay but how are you going to get in unnoticed? You weren't invited after all." Charlie inquires

You step out of the car but lean down so you can look at him through the window.

"I'll just go in invisible. I'll only reveal myself if necessary."

"Alright. I'm going to go park a block away on North Griffin Street. Come find me after." Charlie says before adding "Good luck."

"Thanks. I'll need it." you respond

You stand up and watch Charlie drive away for a bit before turning to face the building. You take a breath before turning invisible and making your way inside. Taking the back entrance you head up towards the lobby and press the button to call the private elevator. You had been here plenty of times before for various meetings and parties that Reginald had to attend so you knew your way around pretty easily. Any regular person would take the main one but in a side hallway there was a special one used for grand entrances. Thinking that everyone must already be up there you knew that you could get in relatively unnoticed by using this elevator. When the doors open you stepped in and turned around, but as you were about press the close door button Reginald walked in to the elevator.

Shit.

You sucked in your breath quickly and covered your mouth trying to be as quiet as possible. You couldn't be found out. Not like this at least. Quietly you moved to the left of the elevator and tried to stay out of the way. Reginald reached for the button to the tiki bar floor and soon enough the doors closed and the elevator start to rise. When the elevator doors open Reginald quickly storms out of the elevator pushing through the private entrance doors. Still invisible you slip out of the elevator and through the door. As you enter the tiki bar you can see the shocked faces of all the Hargreeves children present. It had been a long time since any of them had actually interacted with their father. You head over to a seat near the table as you watch the scene unfold before you. Reginald approaches the table that the rest of them were surrounding and takes a seat. Once most of the Hargreeves had sat down as well he criticizes,

"Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me..."

He is cut off by Klaus though who sits down with a drink and greets, "Hey, Pop. How's it hangin'?"

Reginald looks over at Klaus annoyed before finishing his statement,

"Dad."

He looks back to the group and continues, "My reconnaissance tells me you're not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI5, so who are you?"

There are a lot of deep breaths and looks off to the side. Saying they were his kids was probably a more difficult task than it looked from the outside. You could see your boyfriend shifting nervously in his chair as you then realized this was the first time he was face to face with Reginald since he ran away. Quietly, you approach him and place a gentle hand on his shoulder. You can feel him jump slightly as he turns his head back to see what was there. He looks confused for a second as he sees nothing but you squeeze his shoulder reassuringly and he realizes that it's you there with him. You just couldn't be seen. As no one continues to answer Five turns back to face his father and speaks up for the rest of the group, "We're your children. We're from the future. In 1989, you adopted us all and trained us to fight against the end of the world. Called us the Umbrella Academy."

You notice as Klaus drunkenly raises his martini glass after Five mentions the academy. What an odd thing to cheers. Then again you went and saw the cult that Klaus ran and compared to that it wasn't as odd. "Why on earth would I adopt six-" Reginald starts to question but is cut off by Allison

"Seven." Allison corrects "One of us isn't here."

"Dead. One of us is dead." Diego solemnly adds

Five reaches up and places his hand on top of your invisible one. To others it just looked like he was touching his shoulder but really he was reaching to you. He was glad that he had you there with him. From not too far away you can see Ben sitting at a table behind Klaus. "Dead, yes, but I'm here. Klaus!" Ben exclaims to him

Klaus turns to what looks like empty space but is really where Ben is and says, "Yeah, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."

"Tell them I'm here!" Ben demands "Enough of that now." Klaus retorts

Reginald and the rest of the Hargreeves look on at Klaus' unexplained behavior. When Klaus turns back around Reginald looks at the group once more and harshly asks,

"Regardless, what would possess me to adopt seven ill-mannered malcontents?" "We all have special abilities." Five elaborates "Special? In what sense?" Reginald inquires "In the superpower sense." Luther adds

Reginald sits up straight, a stern look on his face as he critically remarks,

"Called me old-fashioned, but I'm a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence. Show me." "Everybody wants to see powers all of a sudden..." Allison complains taking a sip from her drink "We're not circus animals, okay? We're not gonna bounce balls on our noses and clap our hands like seals for your amusement." Luther retorts

Immediately, Diego pulls out one of his knives and throws it forward redirecting it so it just barely passes Reginald and lands in a wooden post across the room. You could tell by the look on Diego's face that he was frustrated. Reginald looks down at the notebook he had brought with him and starts to jot down notes. All of the Hargreeves lean in to try and see what was being written down. "What are you writing?" Diego asks "You are zero for two, young man." Reginald taunts

Quickly, Diego stands up and tries to make his way over to but Five flashes in front of him. Putting his hands up to hold Diego back he whispers to him, "Stop!"

"Now that is interesting," Reginald states as he looks on surprised

Diego sits himself back down and you decide to go sit at the bar. From the way things were going you felt it could get messy and you didn't want to be a part of that. "All right, uh, quick rundown. Luther: super strength. Klaus can commune with the dead. Allison can rumor anyone to do anything." Five starts to explain as he heads back to his seat "Except she never uses it." Diego jabs

Allison turns angrily to Diego and rumors, "I heard a rumor you punched yourself in the face."

As the rumor said Diego punched himself in the face. "Aah! Damn it!" He cried out

Allison slurps on her drink and gives him a pointed look even if he wasn't looking back. Five uses his hand to gesture to Reginald his point about Allison's power. Reginald then turns to Vanya and questions, "And you?" "Uh, maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run," Luther interjects "Oh, yeah, that's probably not a good idea," Klaus adds "It's fine. I can handle it." Vanya replies

"Handle it? Last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon." Allison states

Vanya doesn't listen though and instead picks up a spoon from the table and brings it back. Her siblings watch on as she brings it forward to hit it against her cup. "No, Vanya, don't!" Five exclaims

Vanya does not stop though and hits the cup causing a soundwave to ring out. Focusing the sound energy on the plate of fruit in front of her she causes it to explode. The fruit splatters onto everyone, except you since you had walked away. But although you didn't get hit with the fruit you did get hit with the soundwave. Doubling over from the pain of the disturbance the soundwave had created bite your tongue not trying to make any immediate sounds to alert the others to your presence. You would only become visible if it was necessary. Taking some quiet breaths, you sit on the bar top and are able to get back to normal and focus again. "Oops," Vanya says softly as everyone wipes the fruit off of them "That was impressive." Luther comments "Look, we know that you're involved in a plot to assassinate the president," Diego explains getting up from his chair

"You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct? You still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia." Reginald rebukes "Am I? Explain this." Diego retorts as he pulls out a photo of Reginald and shows it to him "That's you. That's two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact spot the president's gonna get shot."

Reginald takes a glance at the photo before looking back up at Diego and commenting, "Well, I suppose you've solved it. You've single-handedly unearthed my nefarious plot."

You can see a slight glimpse of hope in Diego's eyes but it's cut short as Reginald ridicules,

"Is that what you want to hear? You fancy yourself a do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly, a man in over his head."

From the bar, you watch as the light in Diego's eyes slowly starts to fade and is overtaken by sadness and disappointment. Slowly he sits down more and more as Reginald's words cut deeper. You had seen them look on his face many times before, it was the same expression he would take as a child after Reginald harshly criticized him. Anger began to rise in you as you saw the trauma of his time in the academy and the feeling of not being good enough take over him. When Diego sits back in his seat he looks directly at Reginald and stutters out sadly, "You're wr-wrong."

Reginald ignores this though and starts to continue,

"Furthermore-"

You were done with this man and his mistreatment of your brother. Nobody talked to him like that. Not on your watch. Quickly, you whip out a knife and throw it in the direction of Reginald having it land in the spot on the table in front of him. The group all looks at the knife in shock.

"Enough." You yelled

They all turn to look at you. Jumping down from where you were sitting on the bar you slowly walk over towards the table.

"That was a warning, so I'd choose your next words carefully. I have nine more of those on my person and if you recall my 20th birthday" You firmly state "I don't miss."

Everyone was shocked to see you there, but most of all was Reginald.

"What are you doing here? You weren't invited to this affair." He demands

"Oh Reggie, I think it's highly important for me to be here." You say in a sarcastic tone

"How did you even get in here?" He questions

"I took the elevator with you." You explain "And then I sat around here for a while."

"Impossible. I didn't see you." He retorts

"You know Reggie, for someone who touts his intelligence you really can't put two and two together can you?" You sneer "Whatever do you mean?"

"I really have to spell it out for you, huh?" You say as you take steps closer to him "I'm. One. Of them."

"Oh really? So what can you do then?" Reginald asks in an insulting tone

"I can do a lot of things."

"Well go on then." He requests

You then start to explain your powers to Reginald. He didn't deserve an explanation but you did want to shove your abilities in his face.

"Well, there's a plethora of things I can do. You already know I can go invisible." You say as you make yourself disappear

"I can jump from place to place on a whim." You continue as you hop to different spots around the room

I can go through things and things can go through me." You add as you walk through the tables and walls around the room

"I can make things denser or lighter. Luther catch." You say as you throw him a glass

He catches it but is immediately pinned down to the ground and can't get up. You walk over to him and pick up the glass before turning back to Reginald.

"I can change the state of matter of an object." You explain as you turn the glass into a liquid and smoke before turning it back to normal and placing it on an adjacent table

"Hell, I can make things blow up by just thinking about it enough." You add with a smile as the glass blows up behind you

"I can create fire and water and smoke out of practically nothing. And I can see and feel disturbances in the world. I can do just about anything and you know why?" You ask rhetorically

"Why?" Reginald asks as he vigorously writes down notes

"Because I can control the things that make up this entire world. Molecules." you finish before adding "Was my demonstration to your satisfaction, sir?"

"Perhaps. Though, I am appalled that you were living under my roof for years and said nothing of your abilities."

"Why would I tell you about my abilities? You work with government. I wasn't about to be sent away to the MK Ultra project or used as a weapon of war. Now, let me get a drink before we really jump into things." You state walking over to the bar

"Absolutely not. What have I told you about drinking?" Reginald calls

"Yeah yeah, your mind is like a gold statue alcohol will only dull the brilliance, yadda yadda yadda." You mock "I'm still getting a drink."

"No." He demands firmly

The Hargreeves look back and forth between you and their father. The conversation between the two of you was contentious and yet there was something off about the way Reginald talked to you.

"And why not Sir Buzzkill?" You retort

"Because I'm your father and you'll respect my wishes." He states

And there it was. Reginald saw you as his kid. The way he was talking to you was odd because he was talking to you...like a parent. All the real Hargreeves children look on in shock. Their eyes wide and their jaws dropped at what he has said. There's a lull of silence before you burst out laughing.

"HA! You're not my dad. I have a dad. He's dead, but I have one." You say in an amused tone

You then head towards the bar and start looking through the drinks as you complain,

"Just because I live with you or you're dating my mom doesn't make me your kid. You tried to do this before, numbered your kids one through seven based on how much you liked them pretty much, and then were like you're number zero because it comes before one. No. I'm not a number. I'm not your favorite kid. I'm not your kid at all. I'm (Y/N)."

When you finally find something good, you grab a glass and start to pour it as you continue,

"Furthermore, If I were your child, I would've turned out like those sitting before you. The closest you'll probably ever get is the unfortunate title of father-in-law."

There's silence once more as everyone takes what you said in. You take a sip of your drink as Reginald looks on taken aback.

"You..."  he inquires confused "are partnered with one of them?"

Grabbing your drink you walk over towards the table as you say,

"Yes I am and I don't appreciate that comparison type tone you used when saying that."

You continue to walk and go stand behind Five, placing a hand on his shoulder once more. You take a sip of your drink before adding,

"Honestly I'm surprised you're not happier. A woman of my stature coupled with one of your sons? And might I add, he's the most competent of your sons.”

"Hey!" Diego exclaims

"When you decide to leave JFK alone I will reconsider." You reply

"Look, forget about the president. We have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it." Five interjects

"War? Men will always be at war with each other." Reginald replies

"No, this isn't just some war. I'm talking about a doomsday. The end of the world." Five elaborates "Well, you're the special ones, aren't you? Why don't you band together and do something about it?" Reginald suggests

You all stare at Reginald but as you do you solely hear Ben yell out, "All right. Screw it."

Ben then runs and jumps into Klaus' body causing his arms to go up in the air and his body to start shaking. He was possessing him. You had no words for the given situation but the others did. "Is he having a seizure?" Allison wonders "Overdosing probably," Diego suggests "Should we do something?" Luther questions

"Klaus! Now is not the time. What are you doing?" Five questions

Klaus, or rather Klaus' body turns towards Reginald. It looked like a struggle though.

"I'm..." Klaus' voice says "Out with it, boy." Reginald commands  "...Ben!" His voice forces out

Immediately after he falls to the ground and starts gasping for air. You can see Ben's passed-out figure next to him. Reginald looks on disgusted before stacking his papers and commenting, "Well...thank you for coming. I've seen about enough."

Reginald then gets up and starts to walk away from the table but Luther slams his hands down, stands up, and rips his shirt open exclaiming,

"Look at what you did to me. Look at it!” "Oh, shit. Why?" Five complains as slouches back in his chair

How did his siblings manage to completely mess up everything again, like it was the only thing they knew how to do. Downing more of your drink to deal with the progressively awkward nature of the situation you stood next to your boyfriend's side. Five reached up and took your hand in his. If none of his siblings were going to support him at least he knew he had you. Reginald looks at the scene before him before turning to Five and asking, "You in the culottes. A word, in private?"

He then walks away from the table and goes to sit over at the bar. You and Five look at each other as the rest of his siblings make their way to the elevator to leave. As Diego passes you let go of Five's hand and grave Diego's wrist stopping him in his tracks. He turns towards you and you can tell he was still upset from what transpired earlier. Without saying another word you bring him into a hug. No matter how upset you were at his actions you weren't going to place that above your love for your brother. Diego held you tightly, you were the only one who stood up for him when his father was beating him down. You were the best sister he could've asked for. From the elevator, Luther can be heard calling,

"Diego let's go.”

Diego pulls back from the hug and looks at you once more before silently turning and leaving. You hear the sound of the elevator door close and all that is left is you, Five, and Reginald. You turn to Five who is getting up to head over to talk at the bar and he turns to you.

"Just give us a moment." Five states

"Are you sure? I can pretend to leave and stay." You suggest

"No, darling. I need to do this myself." Five replies

You look at him softly and bring a hand up to his cheek. He places his hand on top of yours holding it in place as he gives a kiss to your palm. He then closes your hand up into a ball before gently holding it on the space above his heart.

"I'll meet you down in the lobby." Five says quietly

"Okay." You whisper back

Five lets go of your hand and the two of you split, him walking over to Reginald at the bar and you walking toward the main elevator. As you press the button to call the elevator up you hear Reginald call out behind you,

"(Y/N) I expect you home promptly.”

You let out a huff as you turn to face him.

"Fine...just don't get mom involved in this. She's already gone through so much with me." you softly ask of him

"I will not get your mother involved. Not even I want to place that stress on her." Reginald responds

"Good." You say nodding your head, a far-off look in your eyes "...good”

The doors to the elevator open and you reluctantly enter it. You press the button to the lobby floor and as the doors close the last thing you see is Five taking his seat next to Reginald. You hoped he would be okay being in front of him without you.

"You seem to be the sensible one, or as described, the most competent of the bunch." Reginald comments

"That's because I'm the oldest. You know, technically, I'm older than you right now."

Reginald looks at him slightly confused but when a bartender appears and places a bottle of brandy on the counter he offers,

"Cognac?"

"Just a smidge." Five says with a half-smile "The other night you quoted Homer at me. Why?" Reginald questions "You forced us all to learn it as kids. In the original Greek, no less." "You know, your dear companion called my coworker and ignorant ass in ancient greek the first time I encountered her." Reginald states

"Sounds about right. She has a sharp tongue and an independent mind, I admire it." Five explains, an amused smirk rising to his face as he thought of you. 

Reginald slides him a glass of cognac and the two of them give silent cheers before taking a sip. Five places his glass down and his tone changes to a more serious one,

"This world ends in five days if we don't get out of the timeline."

"Worlds end. Paleozoic, Jurassic, and so on." 

"We can do something about this one." Five states

"Man's greatest flaw: the illusion of control." Reginald retorts "I need your help. All right? You're my last sane option. Otherwise, I gotta make a deal that I really don't wanna make. What do you know about time travel?" "In theory?" Reginald asks

"In practice."

"I know it's akin to descending blindly into the depths of freezing waters and reappearing-" Reginald starts

"As an acorn. Yeah." Five finishes unenthused

"What transpired when you tried traveling before?" "I botched it. Big time." Five complains

"How?"

"I jumped too far forward in time. Accidentally brought (Y/N) with me and she got stuck 11 years in the future. Then I jumped without her and got stuck in an apocalypse for 45 years. Then I jumped too far backward, except this time I brought everyone with me." "Maybe your appetite is disproportionate to the size of your abilities. Start small. Seconds, not decades." Reginald suggests "Seconds? Look, no offense, but I need a bit more time for what I'm trying to accomplish." Five remarks "So much can change in a matter of seconds. One could overthrow an empire." Reginald starts before pausing for a second "One could fall in love. An acorn doesn't become an oak overnight."

"I was really hoping you had more than that." Five admits

"I'm sorry I can't be of more help." Reginald apologizes "I'm sorry, too. I gave you such a hard time as a kid. I didn't know any better." 

Reginald looks over at Five before raising his glass and saying,

"No skin off my teeth, old man."

The two of them sit in silence and when Five finishes his drink he gets up and leaves. Taking the elevator down he finds you in the lobby. When the doors open you quickly make your way over to him and wrap your arms around his neck pulling him into a hug. Five holds you close but pulls back to look at you. Something was off about him.

"Did everything go okay?" You asked

Five looks away from you and off in the distance.

"Yes but..."

"But what?" you inquire softly

Five lets out a sigh and looks back at you. This was not the situation he wanted to be in at all. In a solemn tone, he answers,

"If I'm going to get us out of this timeline I need to go make deal with the devil."

"Well then, you lead the way and I'll follow you out." you reply "Just promise me something.”

"Anything."

"Don't turn around until you're sure we're all in the clear." you respond

Five pressed his forehead against yours as he held you close. 

"Of course my love." he whispered

You tilted your head up towards his and place a soft peck on his lips before stepping away.

"I'll see you soon," you said

Five quietly nodded his head in response and with that he flashed away to go play some jazz with the devil in hell.

________________________________

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[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 8/?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

This one is shorter because of the last one’s length.

Hi everyone! By the time you see this, I will probably be out and therefore cannot update the other parts with this one’s link, so don’t worry about that if you notice it.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Jason’s Trauma and his Death, Lightning, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)  (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Going on day 5 of knowing each other, Jason and Y/N would spend the day apart. Why? Because they gave each other the chance to have family time, Jason got it by playing around with his baby siblings, playing Assassin.

Fluff Head canon came from frownyalfred on Tumblr, who wrote about Jason playing Assassin with his brothers 

He would go running through the halls playing the game that he and Dick knew all too well, it had been the only ‘no contact’ game they were allowed to play at a summer camp Bruce had sent them to all those years ago when they weren’t adults with a bunch of other siblings, and girlfriends. But here they were, explaining the game to their younger siblings while Alfred and Bruce hung out with Barbara, who wished she could play, but was paralyzed.

Everyone missed playing games with her like they used to, but with the video game consoles in the house they did transfer a lot of their gaming to online so they could relive memories with Barbs. It was bittersweet, and everyone remembered when she became paralyzed like it was yesterday, but she always wanted them to play games like they used to, with or without her. 

Jason admired his, hopefully, one day older sister for how she treated her disability, like it was a gift, not something that impacted her everyday life and made her have to hang up the cloak of Batgirl.

But running around chasing after Dick, because of course, he got Dick, the universe wanted them to play again, was something he missed so much. They hadn’t had so much of this time, family time, ever since they all became vigilantes, and they never realized how much they missed the thrill of running around with each other.

Jason ended up getting Dick and throwing him out of the game, calling it a ‘selfless act of brotherhood so you can hang out with your girl’ and they both laughed at it. Titus, Damien’s dog, ended up barking up a storm at Jason when he killed Dick, like the big dog was rooting for Dick to win the tournament.

“Down boy! It’s a game!” Jason would whisper-yell at his dog.

“Yeah! Good boy, Titus! Get him!”

“No!” Jason would yell while running throughout the house, Titus on his heels. Passing by Alfred, Bruce and Barbara, where Titus would stop and go lay at Bruce’s feet, but Jason didn’t know that.

Jason would end up coming in just 10 minutes later, with a green slash on his neck. Tim, who had pulled Cass but killed her, Cass, who had pulled Jason. Tim now had two kills in the game and both were to people who could have easily overpowered him. 

“Jase! Welcome to the land of the dead,” Dick greeted him.

“God dammnit I’ve already been here,” Jason whined in a joke.

“You and your ‘I died pity me’  jokes,” Barbara said.

“It’s called a coping mechanism, Barbs. And hi dad, Alfred,” Jason said as he waved slightly at both of them, Alfred waved back and Bruce nodded at him.

“You could just to go therapy, Jase,” Barbara said, seeming concerned for someone who she considered her baby brother. She remember when he came into the Manor, she was older than him, sure . But he had nightmares and she and Dick would switch between who would sleep at his door at night, they both had terrible backs until the nightmares calmed down. Jason never knew they did this.

It also happened when he was resurrected, but the nightmares were worse and he’d wake all sweaty and upset. There were too many nights where batkids would be in Jason’s bed with him from 12am to when Alfred would greet them in the morning. The nightmares had slowed down a lot in the past few years with the introduction of his Goddaughter into his life, but they still came by to remind him of what happened.

He didn’t talk about it much. They would always try to edge him on about about really happened, but he was stubborn. It made sense, sure, trauma is trauma. But they all wanted to help him get better. It hurt them all that he was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him get through it.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N would sit on her bed that morning and finally finished organizing her criminal psychology and regular psychology notes when she came across her printed copy of Dr. Barry Allen’s dissertation she had studied so hard. She found it so weird that she was so close to someone who she looked up to in the field while also being so far in the same breath.

She didn't dote on it for long, she stocked it away with her forensics notes in their place. This, the relationship she had with Jason that intertwined her with so many people, was something she was getting used to by the minute, but it was never something she’d get fully used to as time goes on.

She would put on a JCS - Criminal Psychology video in the background as she worked and tried to make her journal look nicer when Jason texted her,

Good morning. He said.

Good morning :)  She said back.

I just lost a game against a 16 year old.

Huh?

My brothers and 2 of my sisters were playing Assassins with me right? Well my 16 year old brother, Tim, he ended up getting the better of me and beat me. 

Oh! So you suck!

What!? No, I’m literally so cool what do you mean? He said, it clearly had sarcasm undertones to it, so Y/N wasn’t worried if she offended him with saying he sucked.

Oh yeah? Then why’d you lose?

Well, I killed Dick.

Okay so you didn’t lose, Dick lost.

It started raining a little bit, the sounds of it hitting lightly against her window, and she felt at peace. It was never hard for her to feel peace when she was by herself. She only had one roommate because she liked the silence, to be alone to collect her own thoughts in her head.

Her parents said it was because she probably had underlying mental illness that they never had the money to diagnose. She agreed. But she still didn’t have the chance to do it.

Jason and her deserved so much more than what the world have given them up to this point, so when they found each other it was, in a way, the universe saying ‘I’m sorry, you deserve this’ and with each passing day it made the pain they had both felt in their lives just a little bit more tolerable.

No, I guess Dick sucks at the game more than me.

Where’d you even get the concept for that game?

Dick and I used to play it at a Summer Camp before we got kicked out.

For playing the game?

No, for being unruly children.

You seem like you were a handful back in the day.

I was, I was the worst kid to raise, my dad has a shirt that says ‘Proud parent of a kid who is sometimes an asshole but that’s OK’ and he wears it all the time.

What a dad moment. Don’t tell my father that shirt exists, he’ll get one for my mum and himself to represent my sister and I.

Were you an unruly child as well?

I was a troublemaker. Getting into arguments with my authoritative figures about dress codes, rules, why girls couldn’t carry chairs, literally anything that was unequal, I was at their throats about it.

I mean, as you should. My older sister, Barbara, and my younger sisters, Stephanie and Cassie, they would like that about you.

I feel like in someway I’ve won over every part of your family.

The rain would get more violent as time went on. Strikes and hits of lightning would strike all around the city, hitting those gargoyles on every building, she always figured they were decorative, but A/N explained that their horns were made out of copper so people wouldn’t get struck by lightning. Bruce Wayne actually made that a thing, A/N said.

Y/N got a message from the dance competition that she signed up to, turns out, California was hit with a hurricane and most people evacuated. No one was allowed in or out. She guessed weather was being funky everywhere. It sucked, but she already was wishing she could spend time at home instead of out in the world.

A feeling she hated.

She would spend the rest of the day on and off the phone with Jason while it stormed. She would go to bed early that night.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason slipped on his vigilante uniform, the Red Hood was going to be on patrol over this night, stormy or not, it was his duty and he knew that. Did he want to go? Yes. He was killing for some action and he was going with Dick. They would probably have some ‘Bro Time’ which Jason wanted. 

Even if it was silence, having Dick nearby him meant enough and gave him peace of mind.

He grabbed his guns and loaded them while packing a few extra magazines in his belt, when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “You have to be careful tonight, Jase,” Dick said as he gulped down tears, “Just come back to me alive if you break off from me, okay?”

“Alive but bruised,” Jason joked.

“I’m serious. I can’t lose you again and tonight is going to be massively dangerous.”

“You won’t.”

[chilly-me-softly]

Every Little Thing’s Gonna Be Alright • Chapter 21

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20

"Morning" Jack's hoarse voice reaches Evelyn's ears just a moment after she dials his number.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Nah the alarm went off just a few moments ago"

"So you're up already?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing it's just that I'm out here, I was hoping you could open the gate for me" there is silence over the line where Evelyn can only hear a few indistinct rustles and noises.

"Jack?"

"Oh my god you're really here" she hears him murmur before the gate in front of her opens slowly, he had probably run to the video intercom to make sure she wasn't messing around. And she giggles moving forward those few metres so she can park and get out of the vehicle.

"Hurry up!" he rushes her, opening the door swinging nervously as she settles the blanket over Cece before grabbing the car seat and taking those few steps that separate her from him.

"You're so impatient. You know how cold it is, you should have put some clothes on before answering the door" Jack rolls his eyes absentmindedly running a hand over his bare chest, waiting for her to put the car seat down not taking his eyes off her for a moment. And when she finally does, nothing more can keep him from holding the girl in his arms. Evelyn sighs against his chest, closing her eyes enjoying the moment.

"Are you really here? How?"

"Well you know I took the car and..." her derisive tone is replaced by her laughter as Jack moves his hands over her body tickling her. They move without realising it eventually crashing into the sofa and falling over it. They both laugh this time before Evelyn reaches up to his face to leave a tender kiss on his lips.

"The holidays are over and I wanted to see you. You know spending some time with you without time running on us"  

"I like that"

"Yeah? Because I'm a little tired to get into driving again" Jack chuckles holding her close, burying his head in her neck and inspiring her natural scent. He only raises his head then as Cece starts to draw attention, smiling as he pulls away from her on the couch to get closer to the little one.

"Hi little one. You're right, your mommy isn't the only pretty girl in this room" he cooed picking her up from the carrier as Evelyn settled down properly on the couch.

"Isn't it time for you to go get ready for training?"

"Mom is a tad jealous"

"I'm not! I'm just bringing you back down here to remind you you're busy"

"You can't just show up here and then kick me out like this" he complains making her laugh as she approaches him, stroking his arm lightly.

"All I'm saying is that we're here now. And we'll be here when you get back"

"Promise?"

"Promise" so Jack sighs dramatically gently handing Cece to her before leaving a kiss on her lips and disappearing down the stairs. Evelyn catches up with him more slowly, settling both of them into his bed and watching him go back and forth across the room to get ready as he occasionally reaches out to leave her a kiss, for no reason yet the smile on her face never stops widening.

Eventually Jack leaves the house only ten minutes later than usual, after making sure he gave her a quick overview of where to find what if she needed something and after kissing her countless times and telling her to get comfortable and practically forcing her to do the dirty work.

And she's bringing in her things to keep herself together when Ben rings her up. "Hey bro"

"I didn't dream it did I, are you really at Jack's?" the disbelief in her brother's voice is so palpable she can't help but laugh.

"I left you a note"

"You expected that to be enough for me? Anyway oh you definitely need to see this. Kitchen. Bottom drawer"

"What? If he's got some horrible secret I don't want to find out right now Ben"

"Just check it out" he chuckles as she puts the phone on speaker laying it on the table before looking at the drawer itself unsure of what to do.

"Come ooon!" her brother's voice comes behind her making her huff but finally she decides to open that drawer.

"Oh my god, look at this!" she can't believe what she sees as she brushes a hand over a mountain of candies and different kinds of sweets before her eyes. Everything anyone could want is in there.

"He says they're for his nephews and nieces but we lads don't believe that so much" Ben continues and she laughs.

"Do you need me to be a spy?"

"You're a good sister Lyn" he solemnly states causing her to shake her head as she closes the drawer and absentmindedly adjusts Cece's t-shirt who's starting to get a little restless.

"What is it? Is your nappy dirty? Hell sometimes I feel like I'm raising you as a newborn version" she comments lightly giving both of them some attention and noting that indeed there was a need for a change.

"Better me than someone else"

"Ben" she admonishes him throwing a glance at her phone before grabbing it along with her bag and heading for the bathroom.

"What?" she rolls her eyes, that tone of challenge from her brother has always rattled her since she was little. God knows how many times she wanted to slap him for that sassy tone he used, the one that seemed to say 'come on, challenge me. I'm ready to fight'. Just like that time.

And she knows exactly what her brother was implying. If she had decided to put the whole Lucas story behind her, her brother had not been of the same opinion. To say he'd been furious that day doesn't even come close, she honestly doesn't know what had stopped him from walking all over town to confront him. But still, she doesn't want her daughter to grow up feeling other people's hatred for her father, she wants her to have her own feelings about the matter, and the sooner she makes that clear to her family, the sooner the damage will be limited. She may be weak or too naive but it's better for her not to talk about something rather than talk badly about it.

So she takes a deep breath, shifting her gaze for a moment to her little girl who is already looking at her expectantly. "Cece says she misses her favourite uncle"

"Yeah sure use her to soften me up" he sighs from the other end of the phone, "I miss you too sweety. Your mean mama didn't even let me say goodbye to you"

"Hmph like you're never gonna see her again"

"Well I don't know how long you're gonna stay away for"

"I don't know, I still have to talk to Jack"

"Ooh look at you, you really are a couple"

"Shut up" she giggles, "it's still his house you know, his space"

"Yeah I know, but I wouldn't worry about it that much. I'm sure if it was up to him he wouldn't let you come back here"

"We'll see..." but honestly she didn't mind that idea at all...

-

"You think Jack will ever stop staring at us like that huh?" Evelyn cooed, playing with Cece's chin and not taking her eyes off her as Jack shook his head, smiling and finally approaching the two of them. Coming home to find them there carefree, with Cece on Evelyn's lap watching her intently and curiously, as if it was a normal thing, had made him feel something totally new and he had simply stood there admiring that scene captivated without saying anything so as not to ruin the moment.

"Sorry, you seemed so wrapped up in it. I didn't mean to bother you" Evelyn laughed reaching out to leave a kiss on his lips.

"How was your day?"

"I couldn't wait to get back here. Is it that bad?" a fake worried expression accompanies his hand going to caress the little one's.

"The captain getting distracted by a girl, mmh..."

"Two girls"

"Well I didn't want to tell you this but you will likely lose your place. Just be strong Jack" she smiles sarcastically patting him on the knee as he opens his mouth wide in shock before scoffing at her.

"Your mommy is so mean. Come with me you, I have a surprise for you" he turns to Cece leaving her a kiss on one cheek settling her in his arms carefully before getting up and starting to head for the door leading to the garage.

"What did you do?"

"You stay there. Only my favourite girl is allowed to follow me" Evelyn can see the derisive smile on his face though as he quickly turns around one last time before walking out the door. And it goes without saying that she eventually caught up to them, not taking long to see what he had done.

"Jack you-" the words catch in her throat as she takes a few tentative steps forward, under Jack's smiling face.

"Gave her a more comfortable place to sleep than that car seat? Yeah I did"

"She seems to like it" Jack's voice shows how proud he feels of that gesture and she can't take her eyes off that little cot her daughter is now in, mesmerised by the little bee hanging over her head.

"You're amazing" she sighs as he wraps his arms around her body from behind, allowing her back to lie against his chest. "Really, I have no words at all. You've been doing so much for us lately"

"No need to thank me, I wanted to. I actually wanted to do it earlier but I didn't want to put pressure on you in any way"

"You wouldn't have. Well I mean I probably would have messed up my plans for the holidays" Jack chuckles leaving her a kiss on the temple before suggesting to bring that cot into the room and set it up.

Between chatting with each other and entertaining the baby, the rest of the day comes to an end. There's a sense of familiarity to it all, bathing Cece before putting on her pajamas and putting her to sleep; sitting on the couch to relax in each other's arms; getting into bed together for once finally without any thoughts, not thinking the other has to go away just a few hours later, just enjoying the moment. And as they fall asleep at the end of that day, a common thought floats through both of their minds: they could get used to this.

----

I'm not very satisfied with this chapter so if you've made it this far thank you! I'll make it up with the next one, I hope.

Tag: @alexajanecollins @emwritesfootball @rosie7703

Chapter 22

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Mammon and MC for that recent send me a ship

I don't know why I even expected a different ship😂😂😂

1.) Gives nose/forehead kisses

MC does!! They know Mammon needs a lot of reassurance physical affection and he always blushes so prettily when they do it. It's a win-win situation. Mammon wants to give nose/forehead kisses too but gets too shy before he goes through with it. If he does manage to work up the courage it'd be really abrupt and seemingly spontaneous (he's actually been zoned out the whole time thinking about kissing them) and then he's immediately running off, blushing and yelling about being "a busy demon who has important work to do"

2.) Gets jealous the most

.................................... :|

3.) Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

MC does the picking up cause they can't technically get drunk and Mammon's the one who's usually out gambling and/or drinking (isn't it canon that Mammon's 'shy blushing virgin' act only started after MC arrived? I think Asmo mentions something like that twice? Not in those words obviously but)

4.) Takes care of on sick days

Both!

MC's actually pretty level headed during Mammon's sick/hurt days. They give him the needed medicine/treatment, make sure he's hydrated and fed and resting in bed and spends the rest of the day cuddled with him because he gets super needy and clingy when he's sick.

Mammon is a MESS whenever MC is sick. Is his human dying! Are they in pain! Fuckfuckfuck. Bursts into MC's room with his arms full of medicine, blankets, warm soup, water bottles, pillows, and anime he stole borrowed from Levi. Absolutely doting while also denying that he cares, at full volume. Hysterically searches human care sites on his D.D.D. while MC sleeps

5.) Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

I mean solmare pretty much answered this; Mammon! If MC isn't fast enough he will scoop them up and toss them in

6.) Gives unprompted massages

Neither. Unprompted massages don't work with either of them. MC tries at first. They are much less shy with their emotions than Mammon is (though I think the game has also told us that MC keeps their emotions pretty close to their chest? Lucifer mentioned it once) but Mammon freaks out and squirms so much all they get is a near miss of his elbow to their face. From all the brothers the game's shown that Mammon's probably the least likely to touch MC without any verbal consent and even then he usually waits for MC to make the first move so yeah unprompted massages don't work. However, when Lucifer's punishments get too much or when Mammon is reliving the war MC may sometimes massage him depending on if he's in a mood to be touched. This works vice versa too when MC relives/remembers the pain of being killed (because according to Grisella that's something you never forget)

7.) Drives/rides shotgun

During the rare times they actually use a car Mammon drives. They both scream along to songs on the radio

8.) Brings the other lunch at work

Mammon. The only actual job Mammon has is as a model and he'd always rather grab like a cereal bar to eat between shoots rather than deal with the hassle of actual food. Mammon (who once in a panic spent a whole night reading through articles on how much water/food/sleep a human needs) is much more likely to bring MC food while they work/study. Usually it's just cup noodles though, but it's the thought that counts.

9.) Has the better parental relationship

...as in who gets on with their parents the best? (I'm gonna take it as that cause there's a kid ask further down) Bruh...Mammon's dad straight up kicked him down the stairs and outta the house & (in my HC) MC doesn't have any living relatives. The closest thing either of them has to a parent is Lucifer... Despite how different they are and how much trouble Mammon gets in with Lucifer and how cruel Lucifer can be towards him we all know they're actually really close and when it comes down to it Mammon knows he can depend on Lucifer to have his back. MC absolutely gets the most terrifying shovel talk of their life once they and Mammon officially start dating. MC's relationship with Lucifer has been pretty up and down because oh he's hot he seems nice what a FUCKINH asshole oh actually he's just an overworked single mom THIS FUCKER TRIED TO KILL ME AGAIN WTF oh wait he's actually only really worried about his family I mean he's not bad actually wait under those 76 hard layers he's kinda soft wait is he in love with me what the hell wait no he's worried because his marriage is rocky rn... DAD!? But once they get over all that they have a pretty stable relationship and an understanding that they are family and will support each other. Mammon also gets a shovel talk.

10.) Tries to start role-playing in bed

Mammon tries. He sees something that he thinks a human is supposed to find sexy and wants to try it out cause he thinks MC will like it. (Takes a while to work up the nerve) but one day he pins MC to the bed, gives them his best sultry look and says in his Dark-Dangerous-Deep-Cool-Mysterious™ voice (that sounds a little too like Lucifer's for his liking) "Hey Baby, have you been naughty? Do you need Daddy to spank you?" MC and Mammon then just stare at each other with a blank face for a while before MC's cackling, rolling on their back, wheezing, choking, while Mammon's keening and trying to suffocate himself with his pillow. After they have both gathered their wits and Mammon has effectively buried his flaming face in MC's neck, MC reassures him he doesn't need to try to be a cool bad boy or whatever else for them to like him and they liked him just fine as he was and anyway they already thought he was cool but if that was something he actually wanted to try because he genuinely wanted to and not just because he thought it's what they wanted then they could try it. He tells them to shut up

11.) Embarrassingly drunk dancer

MC if you actually manage to find something to get them drunk. Look they have a stressful life okay and one way to reduce that stress is to get smashed and dance on a table while (badly) grinding on air. Mammon is surprisingly a good dancer when drunk...sure it's all sexual (see my Drunk HC post) but it's still good. He is, however, a completely embarassing dancer when sober

12.) Still cries watching Titanic

Look we all know who it is... The game told us who it is...I'm not gonna say it again

13.) Firmly believes in couples costumes

Mammon but he tries his best to deny it. He's a hopeless romantic he just doesn't want anyone else knowing about it (they do) so he'll try to play is off as a coincidence. OH! Ya goin' as a witch!? Well I'mma black cat. A young rain drenched Victorian? That's wild bro anyway I'mma a vampire.

14.) Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

Both! We've actually seen that Mammon does actually buy things for his brothers, work actual jobs to buy things for MC and the two times he thought he came into a large amount of money the first thing he did was text MC asking them what they wanted with the money, before even confirming whether it was a scam or not. So yeah he definitely breaks the rule. MC, who wants to spoil their first man and who always has a large amount of money on them (because of said first man) also breaks the rule

15.) Makes the other eat breakfast

Lucifer. (And Beel) neither of them ever get the chance to miss breakfast because it's, in Lucifer's words, "the most important meal of the day and you have to spend it with your family. Missing it leads to early morning lectures. Also missing a meal means going hungry caue Beel would have eaten it and everything else

16.) Remembers Anniversaries

Both! They are both so smitten there's no world in which either of them would forget

17.) Brings up having kids

Mammon does casually at first. Not their own biological kids but instead his kid. The one with the witches. He doesn't say it in so many words but instead casually mentions how cool it'd be to see them again. On one of those unusual days where he is quieter he says he wants MC to meet her. Later MC's the one who mentions paying off all his debts with the witches (using the money his favourism unconsciously manifests and getting the kid. Obviously they'd have to bring it up to the others first.

[dilf-manifester]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 for the ask thing ;));););)))

wow :smirk: thank u for the ask 

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? wine glasses 😌✨they make me feel fancy yk how it is

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops ✨dunno why im like this but here i am ig

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum bcs?? have yall tried the hello kitty grape bubblegum??? that shit slaps

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? as was with every gay person “a pleasure to have in class”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? cans bcs then i can crush it with my hands and flex on everyone else

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? goth and formal bcs uhh yeah 

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds 🤧i dont like the fact that people can hear ur music with headphones

8. movies or tv shows? uHHH i’d have to say tv shows 😩i can pay more attention to shorter episodes yk

9. favorite smell in the summer? the mix of humid summer air and those mosquito candles

10. game you were best at in p.e.? bro im gay did u actually think i would be good at pe 

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i don’t 🥰thanks for asking!

12. name of your favorite playlist? either songs for when the drip or fuck i got blood on my nice white shirt

13. lanyard or key ring? keyrings r better dont @ me

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? black licorice cats 😳😳they’re so good like holy shit

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? the bell jar 😔👉👈its one of my favorite books to this day

16. most comfortable position to sit in? on the floor or with my legs hanging over the arm of the chair

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? leopard print slip ons 🙈🙈they’re so comfortable i stg

18. ideal weather? snowy so i can just sit inside with the fireplace going and do some writing 

19. sleeping position? uHHHH idk what to call it but i think the closest thing is fetal position 😭

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? honestly whatever scrap of paper is closest 😭im not picky

21. obsession from childhood? dinosaurs. that’s it that’s the post.

22. role model? i have a few but markiplier (cringe ik) and john green r my main ones🤧🤧🤧i just look up to them a lot yk

23. strange habits? i always have to knock on a door 5 times before entering and okay that might seem excessive but as it turns out idc

24. favorite crystal? malachite or tiger’s eye 😳

25. first song you remember hearing? brown sugar by the rolling stones 😭my mom used to have sticky fingers on vinyl so she used to play it constantly

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swim even tho i am AWFUL at it

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? play in the snow or just sit inside with the fire going bcs im literally 5 years old mentally

28. five songs to describe you? she’s out of her mind by blink 182, goddamn by never loved, do what you want by ok go, impressive depressive by bad luck, and true romance by she wants revenge

29. best way to bond with you? just talk to me straight up or send me music recs pls

30. places that you find sacred? cemeteries and abandoned schools. they have a rlly specific vibe to them ngl

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? uhhh so its rlly just my docs, black jeans, a mesh type undershirt and whatever top shirt i pull out of my drawer

32. top five favorite vines? is that a police??? im calling the weed❗❗, stAHp i could’ve dropped my croissant, that one where the alien’s walking on the treadmill, summer solstice summer summer solstice, and zach stop 

33. most used phrase in your phone? ‘omfg what the fuck’ bcs for some reason thats my automatic response to anything

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?  whatever the fuck the ad for the 2001 buick lesabre was 

35. average time you fall asleep? like uHHH 12:15 am 🤧

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge 😭😭idk why i remember it so vividly but my sister showed me the orignal doge meme and i thought it was the funniest shit

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase 🤧they make me feel cool

38. lemonade or tea? both 🙈i’m an arnold palmer kinda mf

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon meringue pie 🤧banger dessert methinks

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? a fence caught on fire in front of the science rooms bcs someone was smoking weed on the roof and threw their blunt on the dead bushes and everything went downhill from there

41. last person you texted? my grandma asking her if she could pick up some tomatoes from vons 🧍‍♂️

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? JACKET POCKETS SUPREMACY❗❗❗

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? ngl i wear all of those but i gotta go with the hoodie 🤧🤧

44. favorite scent for soap? lavender or vanilla rose😌✨

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi bcs uhh yea fuck it thats why

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? just an oversized shirt that’s it that’s the post

47. favorite type of cheese? swiss or havarti and you can fight me on that

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple 😌😌😌

49. what saying or quote do you live by? ‘fuck’ -markiplier 2021

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=553CfZAADag i swear the first time i saw that i laughed so hard i thought i was gonna die

51. current stresses? everything; next question

52. favorite font? comic sans bcs im 8 years old 

53. what is the current state of your hands? smoov and v well taken care of 

54. what did you learn from your first job? capitalism is the root of all evil and that traditional working is outdated also raise the minimum wage 

55. favorite fairy tale? vasilii the beggar 🤧🤧idk if anyone else knows it but its always been one of my favorites

56. favorite tradition? every year during rosh hashanah we go over to my uncle and tia’s house and i absolutely kick ass at mariokart bcs all my cousins suck at itn also lighting the hannukiah (hanukkah menorah)

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? low self esteem, anxiety over literally everything, and an inferiority complex (now replaced with a fucking god complex bcs there’s no inbetween for me)

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i can play like a bunch of instruments, im rlly good at writing, i’m good at building things and doing things with my hands, and i can identify what song’s playing rlly fast if i know it🤧

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? motherfucker or son of a bitch 😊😊😊

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? slice of life like bro just please give me a break

[everybodyscupoftea]

dumbass quotes

hi! this is a list of dumb shit issawhat (huge inspo for frat jj) has said on twitch stream, not taking credit at all, one of the viewers created a google doc and i picked 100 of my faves and thought it could be fun to use these as prompts for a blurb thing

so, choose what jj you want (pike, sigma chi, college) and send me some numbers

(i have stuff i need to do today so i’ll start working on these later this afternoon and tonight)

1. I’m emotionally unavailable

2. My body/bloodstream is a pharmacy

3. I hate it here

4. My dick only touched my hands today

5. My dick is very clean

6. Please don’t talk to me

7. Teenagers are fucking pussies bro

8. I can barely read so I like looking at pictures

9. We’re having the opposite of a good time right now

10. I’m not even playing with my team right now, I’m gonna be independent and just run and shoot people in the forehead

11. You piece of dog shit. You utter piece of dog shit

12. IUD. Is that the implant

13. Fuck them kids. No don’t actually fuck kids

14. Are we talking about planets? I love outer space

15. Mars just probably tastes like cheese pizza

16. No offense. Actually, offense

17. You don’t wanna live in my mind it’s loud up there

18. Can we not talk about demons? That kinda stresses me out

19. There’s a video of a guy with a ton of tattoos who looks like he’ll fuck your step mom

20. I swear at one point I had bigger boobs than my ex

21. I just wanna be a shredded skinny boy

22. It’s not like I want to die, I’m just okay with dying

23. I don’t even touch my dick when I pee most of the time

24. Time to fuck some dumb ass bitches up

25. The amount I just got railed was way too much

26. I’m pretty sure nut has more calories than celery

27. I don’t pull out

28. I can’t hear you I’m dropping

29. I’m a fucking laser

30. My dick is 8 inches if I fold it in half

31. Actually my dick has never been on camera. I wear swim shorts in the shower

32. Where the pussy boys at

33. Imagine being married. Imagine having emotions

34. Sometimes I read then sometimes I think what if I didn’t have eyeballs

35. I’m gonna kick you in the fucking forehead

36. My lips are chapped as dick

37. It’s pretty early for arson talk boys but if you want to we can

38. You guys say a lot of sexual things and it stresses me out

39. It’s such a power play ghosting your parents

40. Blinking is for sore losers

41. Refreash

42. I’m gonna see how much of this beer I can delete

43. Don’t shoot me in the back that would not be cash money

44. Sand hanitizer

45. Condoms don’t even work

46. *talking about a funeral* open bar?

47. Adulting is for fucking losers

48. Alcohol? You mean spicy water

49. I hate how they make kids so stupid in movies. They’re dumb but not that dumb

50. It smells like soup in my house bro

51. And it went like

52. I’m not that versatile in my pegging lingo

53. What’s MI? Is that Michigan

54. I’m actually 4 food 5 and legally a short person. And I lost my juul. Oh no I just put it on the charger like an idiot

55. Pew pew pew right in your forehead

56. Guess who’s a dead bitch? You are hahahaha

57. Not in the mood to be trifled

58. Get bodied

59. I know how to talk to women. I’ve been doing it my whole life

60. Did I wash my hands? Sure…

61. You wanna see me in a skirt? No you don’t because I’ll look better than you do and you’ll get mad

62. Mom’s not home, we can’t kill the patriarchy

63. Go kick rocks

64. I’m not a wall puncher anymore

65. I don’t know I just work here

66. Fluffy duffy croissant boy

67. My brain sounds like a rock tumbler

68. Commit sudoku

69. Hit her with an actually

70. A lot of natural light but I wish we could get a bud light

71. I can’t hear you I’m yawning

72. I’m not an object I just want to be treated like one

73. I feel like when I eat I do better in life

74. I am pro elder abuse I agree

75. Nickle sized nipples that sounds like a bar

76. The cologne is in the air and I can taste it on my lips

77. The smell of this cologne reminds me of sex because whenever I use it I have sex

78. God damnit charge faster juul

79. Are you an innie or an outie

80. You can have my belly button pics for free baby girl

81. Does anyone want to meet god because I can help you out looking at you

82. Only if it’s pictures with sound

83. My second life I was a banana slug, learned a lot

84. I’m a virgin, I can’t hear you

85. I’m getting the nicest virgin (meaning version)

86. That’s what people say about my penis. Definitely doable but hard

87. A cat appointment? We call that a normal Tuesday

88. That fucking visor doesn’t slap

89. I should buy you a pair of catch these hands

90. I was watching ant videos last night they’re fucking crazy

91. LOOK UP TOP FIVE ANT MOMENTS

92. Who the fuck is spam risk and why are they calling me

93. What is a jetpack? Is that when you’re the big spoon but you’re small so you look like a jetpack

94. I’m gonna call you backpack though like dora because you don’t shut the fuck up

95. If you threw some long division at me I’d say go fish

96. I can’t even hear myself think. Not that I want to think

97. I don’t think I’ve ever had a fuck honestly. Does someone want to give me my first fuck

98. I don’t need to learn how to do anything, I’m 21. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks

99. That could lead into premarital breathing the same air

100. I didn’t even wear a hat yesterday so I don’t want to play thanks

[verytamenow]

Any or all of them, huh? All of them

That wasn’t a this or that thing but I’m bored and technically did ask for it so fine...smartass...

1. What is you middle name? Eric Lynn

2. How old are you? 27

3. When is your birthday? June 8

4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

5. What is your favorite color? It depends. To wear? For walls? For a car? In general, steel blue.

6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t really have one, but I’ll choose 7 or 13 if I have to pick one.

7. Do you have any pets? I’m not a pet person

8. Where are you from? Socal

9. How tall are you? 5′5.5″

10. What shoe size are you? US Mens 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Umm...shit...like....6?

12. What was your last dream about? I honestly don’t even remember.

13. What talents do you have? Bold of you to assume I could have talents

14. Are you psychic in any way? I’ve had a couple premonition like dreams, but they clue me in to anything important and I don’t wake up remembering much of them.

15. Favorite song? Losing My Religion by REM

16. Favorite movie? Alien, maybe? Or Iron Man.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? I don’t have a specific person in mind. Definitely someone patient but unwilling to tolerate any bullshit. Must understand sarcasm.

18. Do you want children? Dear gods NO!

19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’t particularly care. I don’t really want one but I’d do it if my partner wanted one. No guarantee I’d not get struck down entering the church.

20. Are you religious? Not really. I struggle with the concept of organized religion. But I do respect spirituality so long as it’s not being used to justify bigotry and have some sort of vague belief in it. 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Both for my own care and to visit family, none of which are fond memories.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I haven’t.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No, not yet. But hopefully one day Taylor will run out of other people to meet and finally take pity on me.

24. Baths or showers? Showers! I can’t stand baths for more than 10-15 minutes but can take an hour long shower.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Light and dark blue striped socks.

26. Have you ever been famous? No.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yes and no. I’d not say no to the potential money involved. But I’m a quiet guy and if I couldn’t find a way to protect my privacy like Taylor’s managed, I’d be done with it pretty quickly.

28. What type of music do you like? A bit of everything, but I’ve been on a pop kick recently.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, but I’d give it a go in the right setting.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One, unless they’re not firm enough.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? Few bedrooms and a couple bathrooms, 2 stories. Decent sized.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I usually don’t. But if I wake up starving, I’ll try to find some leftover chicken or something to munch on, usually cold. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah, fired a few different types. I’m not a great shot and I don’t handle the noise well. I struggle pulling the trigger for whatever reason.

35. Have you ever tried archery? I haven’t but I really want to!

36. Favorite clean word? Strobocopic is the first word that comes to mind and that’s 100% my dad’s fault, damn him.

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? About 48 hours? I’ll usually take a sleeping pill or pass out on my own by then.

39. Do you have any scars? Ignoring the obvious quip about mental ones, I’ve got a couple physical. Got a faint one on my knee from busting it open as a kid that you can’t really see now. Got a fair few stretch marks and some acne scars as well.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I did, they were so secret I didn’t know about them.

41. Are you a good liar? Depends on what it is and how close I am to them. I can lie alright on phone or text unless you know me well or tell a stranger a white lie. But I’ve got no poker face whatsoever so I suck at the big ones, and the closer I am to someone the worse I get at lying. 

42. Are you a good judge of character? Kinda? I haven’t trusted too many assholes but like anyone I can overlook the bad in someone I care about. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Nope.

44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so.

45. What is your favorite accent? British or Australian.

46. What is your personality type? Impatient but laid back smartass with a mixed sense of self preservation. I’m a pretty go with the flow guy, but yeah patience isn’t my strong suit.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My redwing boots.

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.

50. Left or right handed? Strongly right-handed.

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m fucking terrified of them. It’s sad, really. Even the small ones.

52. Favorite food? Seafood in general or a good rare steak.

53. Favorite foreign food? Sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m a mess tbh. I try but I can’t quite seem to keep things up.

55. Most used phrased? “Fuck” probably.

56. Most used word? See above.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? About 30 with a shower.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I’d like to say no, but I know I’ve got a bit of pride about some things.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck until they’re almost gone and then bite.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Not so much now. If I’m alone in the house for an extended period, or I’m trying to work something out or stay focused, then yeah.

61. Do you sing to yourself? I rarely sing along to music in the car, let alone casually to myself.

62. Are you a good singer? Gods no.

63. Biggest Fear? The glib answer is spiders. But in the spirit of the question lise: the actual answer is the inevitable fuck up that is the last straw that leds to people leaving.

64. Are you a gossip? Yes and no? I don’t spread serious rumours, but I’ll absolutely talk shit with those I’m closest with. Kinda a nosey little prick too, I like knowing things.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? My mind kinda went straight to titanic. The 90s jumped out.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I wear my hair short (because getting misgendered makes me want to fling myself off the nearest cliff), but would theoretically consider wearing it longer if/when my facial hair comes in. On a partner, I like either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I wouldn’t put money on it, but if I could see a list as I named them, I’d probably manage okay.

68. Favorite school subject? History. Or mythology, though that wasn’t a dedicated subject.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert AF.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and I don’t think I ever would. 

71. What makes you nervous? It’s the anxiety, bro.

72. Are you scared of the dark? More scared of the tricks my mind can play on me in it, especially if I’m trying to sleep.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends on how close I am and what the mistake is.

74. Are you ticklish? Very and I don’t find being tickled funny or enjoyable. I’m likely to get pretty pissed off if someone tickles me intentionally.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never intentionally.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Not really? Not with any real power.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Tried a few things, didn’t care for the taste.78. Have you ever done drugs? I tried pot but I can’t inhale for shit so it didn’t do anything for me.

79. Who was your first real crush? The first I can recall was a boy named Corbin in the first grade. He had dark hair and eyes and was nice and I thought he was cute and fun to play with. Then there was a girl named Emily who was tall and blonde. I don’t think I really knew they were crushes though. The first time I had a crush and KNEW it was a crush was high school, on a girl in my chem class and then on my physics teacher in my junior year.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Not anymore.

82. How fast can you type? 45-ish WPM?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast.

84. What color is your hair? Dark blonde.

85. What color is your eyes? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to? Some laundry detergent. If it’s heavily scented I will break out in hives.

87. Do you keep a journal? No, but I’ve been told I should.

88. What do your parents do? My dad works in IT.

89. Do you like your age? Yes and no. I don’t have a problem with my age or nearing 30, but I could also fuck up my life in new and interesting ways if I could be younger knowing what I know now.

90. What makes you angry? Bigotry. Willful ignorance and unwillingness to listen. Hypocrisy. 

91. Do you like your own name? Yes, which is why I picked it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have zero, if not negative, desire to reproduce. But I like gender neutral names for girls - Parker, Peyton, Reagan, etc.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want either but I REALLY would not know what to do with a child who liked traditionally feminine things.

94. What are you strengths? Sheer stubbornness.

95. What are your weaknesses? Impatience.

96. How did you get your name? I wanted to keep my initials and Zach was the name that came to mind and felt right.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? If you go back far enough, you’ll usually stumble across it.

98. Do you have any scars? Wasn’t this a previous question???

99. Color of your bedspread? Blue, not that I use it.

100. Color of your room? White. Never did get around to painting it.

[timouke]

I mean I tried xD and I miserably failed

Get to know me tag!

OOOH THIS TOOK FOREVER

I was tagged by the wonderful and amazing @racingllama! Thanks a lot! This was a lot of fun!

RULES : Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

I think my traits would be: clumsy, dog lover, and geek!

I now tag @sweezlee, @coliemoon4sims4 @chimaerae @nadi-nadi @artemisa02 @newerquality @electricsoftie @caramellet @petitesimss @redyuyu @sailing-simmer @markslatina @blurri-sim-kid @ilovesaramoonkids and anyone who wants to do it!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Aidee

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Heidi, Pimpo, Bro, Loyis:)

3. BIRTHDAY? February 21!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? aNY. I love books. I love romance, action, comedy. Anything.

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? None, but I do believe in alien ghosts.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? I’m gonna get killed for this but... Veronica Roth?

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 99.9 I love Delilah

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Sweetsweetsweetsweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? AmazeBALLS :D.

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Ehrm... that’s a hard one. Paper Crowns by Alec Benjamin

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Doggo

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Paper Crowns by Alec Benjamin xD I’m I too predictable?

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Devilman Crybaby, don’t judge me!

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? Nothing with dogs in it, or I cry

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Yep! I play Zelda and hORROR RPG’s

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? (incoming cliche answer) being forgotten.

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I can sense when people don’t have good intentions, that’s why I have almost no friends.

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Read above answer!

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats.

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Winter because of Christmas and my Birthday!

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? I am told to say no.

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? I could be days without showering without feeling guilty!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Loyis, but she’s in Germany right now. And I’m not, which is sad.

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Brownish black? Blackish brown?

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? I grabbed one hair and it was black, and I grabbed another one and it was brown, now my life is in shambles..

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? LOYISSSS COME BACK TO MEEE

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? EHEM. LOYIS COME BACK TO ME.

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? AHHHH *throws myself to the ground* (loyis)

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Yep! Answering these questions!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Sims, anime, my dogs. That’s my laifu.

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? I loved the shows everyone now considers bad, like Johnny Test or Kick Buttowski, but Dragon Ball Z was my childhood.

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? I’m not allowed to answer this question or I’ll cry

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Only if my grandma is present. She makes everyone superstitious, she is a witch, in the good sense.

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I’m afraid of flushing the toilet. Don’t ask! Yes, I do flush the toilet.

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Yes.

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Anything in front of a computer.

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? The Psychoanalist by I don’t remember who, but his style is a little too slow and descriptive!

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. Now I’m in love with Newt. He’s mine now.

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? None, but my brother is a musical prodigy so that’s something.

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Not dogs.

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? Everyone! Every single person in the sims community is super talented!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? I request mind reading.

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? When I sleep, when I’m not thinking.

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? My doggos, specially all of them.

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? Ice skating but it hurts a ton

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Milk

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? What’s that, “hand-written” you speak of?

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? No, I am heights.

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Stupid people (me)

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? Yep, it’s kinda like a tradition in my family to go to one every year!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? No.

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A veterinarian, but I couldn’t!

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? Whatever world Bleach is set in. I wanna marry Ichigo Kurosaki.

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Yep, everything everything everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? Nope, I am darkness

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? Sure, but I can’t, I sing like a sick cat.

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? What’s that “school” you speak of?

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? My room

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? In Japan! Anywhere in Japan! Just in Japan!

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Yep! I have three fake huskies

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I never sleep. What’s sleep?

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunsets, I prefer nighttime!

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Nope, I honestly should learn.

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Earbuds, they’re cute and tiny.

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Yep, I’m in fact wearing  them right now! How did you know?

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? Early 2000′s scene music.

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? My dad

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Yep. All the time. I am a comic book

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? NOT FINISHING STUFF. I MUST FINISH THIS THING.

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? A real book! I like to hold them and the smell!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Recess

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? I have between 1 and 3 brothers

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A snack! It was yummy

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 1.55 inches.

75. CAN YOU COOK? Nope, who needs food anyways?

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? My dogs, my life and myself!

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? My dogs, my life and myself!:)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? I don’t know, I haven’t counted them!

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Who needs labels?

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Juarez, Chihuahua. You’ll never find it.

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? The love of my life!

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Right now. I’m crying right now.

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? Joanna Cedia. I stan.

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? I guess?

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? Tumblr!

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? I think it’s pretty good!

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? German.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Germany, i’d like to see my grandpa’s home country!

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 42. It’s the answer to everything.

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Yep. No. Im juggling right now.

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? I guess not.

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? The ocean. It is a beautiful void.

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? No, I’m too wholesome for that.

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? Nope!

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yes!

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? No, but I know someone who can!

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? I’m never wrong!

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? The forest!

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? Never leave things unfinished!

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Nope. I can’t do that.

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Hufflepuff. We rock.

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? No! Stop exposing me!

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? I’m definitely an introvert!

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I have tried! But I’ve never been able to complete one.

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? Yep.

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? I don’t know. I know I wouldn’t keep it!

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? Definitely.

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Yes. A lot. Don’t touch me.

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep!

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? My ears!

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Ichigo Kurosaki! Let me marry him!

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Nope! But I’m planning on getting some!

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? I don’t know, my life isn’t over yet.

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? Yep!

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Glasses but you’ll never catch me wearing them!

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? No.

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My dad, I think.

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? I’ll not tell you!

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? I never sleep. I always pull all-nighters.

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Void.

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? YEP! Let’s go on one right now!

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I guess, even accidentally. Maybe everyone has been on TV.

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does?”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? What is savory? I onLY KNOW SWEET!

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/fall-movie-preview-50-movies-you-need-to-know-about/

Fall Movie Preview: 50 Movies You Need to Know About

Not only does Fall bring chillier temperatures, pumpkin spice lattes, and cozy sweaters but also plenty of reasons to go to the movie theater (or stay on the comfort of your own couch with new Netflix originals, if you’re into that sort of thing). The season kicks off with everything from a heartbreaking family drama from the creator of This Is Us to the long-awaited Halloween rebootthat will surely give us nightmares long after Fall transitions into Winter. This is also the season when Oscar hopefuls emerge and holiday blockbusters start coming out by the dozen, so there’s seriously something for everyone. If you need an idea of what to see from the end of August all the way to Christmas, then take a look at the list ahead.

1 Operation Finale

Image Source: MGM

The scoop: With a large crew to back him up, Mossad agent Peter Malkin (Oscar Isaac) goes on a covert mission to Argentina in 1960 to find the Nazi officer who masterminded the Holocaust. Mélanie Laurent, Haley Lu Richardson, Ben Kingsley, and Nick Kroll costar.

Release date: Aug. 29

2 Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: The story focuses on Sierra (Stranger Things star Shannon Purser), a smart high school student who unintentionally begins catfishing her crush because of a case of mistaken identity. She teams up with Veronica, the school’s typical popular mean girl (Kristine Froseth), in hopes of winning over her crush, played by The Fosters‘ Noah Centineo.

Release date: Sept. 7

3 The Nun

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The scoop: Even the poster for this follow-up to the Conjuring franchise is enough to send chills down our spines, so we can only imagine how terrifying the actual movie is going to be. This time around, we travel to 1950s Romania, where a nun and a Catholic priest are sent by the Vatican to investigate the mysterious suicide of another nun at a monastery. What they don’t realize is that an intensely powerful demonic force is already there, waiting to claim them.

Release date: Sept. 7

4 Mandy

Image Source: RLJE Films

The scoop: Nicolas Cage and Andrea Riseborough star in this thriller set in 1983. The pair play Red Miller and Mandy Bloom, who lead a remote, peaceful existence in the Pacific Northwest until a sadistic cult destroys everything they hold dear. The invasion sparks a tale of bloody vengeance that will have you on the edge of your seat.

Release date: Sept. 14

5 The Predator

Image Source: 20th Century Fox

The scoop: Alfie Allen, Olivia Munn, and more star in this sequel, which will see soldiers teaming up to battle the vicious extraterrestrial we all know and love (to have nightmares of).

Release date: Sept. 14

6 White Boy Rick

Image Source: Columbia Pictures

The scoop: This based-on-a-true-story crime drama follows young teen Richard Wershe Jr. (Richie Merritt), who goes on to become an undercover FBI informant in the 1980s, although his life tragically ends in disgrace and life in prison. Matthew McConaughey plays his father, Richard Wershe Sr.

Release date: Sept. 14

7 A Simple Favor

Image Source: Lionsgate

The scoop: A Simple Favor, a Paul Feig-directed thriller, stars Anna Kendrickas Stephanie, who seems like she just wants to track down her missing BFF Emily (Blake Lively) . . . but what if she actually had something to do with her disappearance? Although Emily has always seemed like an elegant, aspirational, and all-around put-together human being, she’s also been hiding a dark side from both Stephanie and her own husband, Sean (Crazy Rich Asians actor Henry Golding), which creates an even more complex mystery.

Release date: Sept. 14

8 The Land of Steady Habits

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: Ted Thompson’s novel The Land of Steady Habits is coming to Netflix this Fall and stars Ben Mendelsohn as Anders Hill, a family man in his mid-50s living in an affluent part of Connecticut who finds himself in a rut. With his son’s college tuition paid off, Anders leaves his wife (Edie Falco) and goes on a clumsy search for freedom.

Release date: Sept. 14

9 The Sisters Brothers

Image Source: Annapurna Pictures

The scoop: This Western drama picks up in 1850s Oregon, where a gold prospector finds himself on the run from an infamous duo of assassins, the Sisters brothers. If that isn’t enough to convince you to watch it, hopefully the star-studded cast is: Jake Gyllenhaal, Joaquin Phoenix, John C. Reilly, and Riz Ahmed star.

Release date: Sept. 19

10 The House With a Clock in Its Walls

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: A young boy goes to stay with his uncle in a creaky old house and soon realizes that there’s much more to the home than meets the eye — get ready for thrills, chills, witches, and warlocks.

Release date: Sept. 21

11 Quincy

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: Rashida Jones teamed up with Alan Hicks to direct this Netflix documentary about her father, Quincy Jones, aptly titled Quincy. The film is an intimate look into the life of the music industry icon, exploring his impact, the way he’s transcended racial and cultural boundaries, and the ups and downs of his career over the last 70 years.

Release date: Sept. 21

12 Nappily Ever After

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: In this Netflix romantic dramedy, Violet Jones (Sanaa Lathan) appears to have it all together — a great job, a doctor boyfriend, and a gorgeous head of hair — until a devastating, life-altering event shatters her illusion of perfection. With her carefully maintained world crumbling around her (and her boyfriend taking up with another woman), Violet decides to figure out just what, exactly, she actually wants out of life.

Release date: Sept. 21

13 Life Itself

Image Source: Amazon Studios

The scoop: This Is Us creator Dan Fogelman just can’t help himself when it comes to making people cry. Not only are we emotionally broken by his hit TV show each week, but the man is also gifting us with a new drama, Life Itself, that’s sure to be a tearjerker. The film hinges on a ridiculously beautiful couple (Oscar Isaac and Olivia Wilde) whose life together — from their first meeting to having a baby and raising their child — spawns “a multi-generational love story” that stretches from New York City to the Spanish countryside. Of course, in true Fogelman fashion, one tragic event is what connects it all. It also stars Mandy Patinkin, Olivia Cooke, Laia Costa, Annette Bening, and Antonio Banderas.

Release date: Sept. 21

14 Colette

Image Source: Bleecker Street

The scoop: Keira Knightley has returned to the world of period films, and we couldn’t be happier. The actress stars as Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, an author who is coerced into ghostwriting a novel for her husband, Willy (Dominic West), after moving to Paris. After the story becomes wildly successful, she’s inspired to fight for creative ownership and against the traditional gender norms of the early 20th century.

Release date: Sept. 21

15 Night School

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: Night School stars comedian Kevin Hart as a wildly successful salesman who eventually runs into trouble when an explosion at work leaves him out of a job. Unfortunately, his prospects look slim since he dropped out of high school, so he decides to take night classes at the local high school — taught by Tiffany Haddish’s tough-as-nails instructor Kerry — along with a few other troublemakers in order to get his GED and a better career.

Release date: Sept. 28

16 Boy Erased

Image Source: Focus Features

The scoop: Garrard Conley’s heartbreaking 2016 memoir is coming to the big screen, starring Lucas Hedges as Jared, the teenage son of a baptist preacher (Russell Crowe) who is forced to endure a church-supported gay conversion program. The film also stars Nicole Kidman, Joel Edgerton, Xavier Dolan, and Joe Alwyn.

Release date: Sept. 28

17 Private Life

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: This Netflix film tracks a stressed-out couple — an author (Kathryn Hahn) and her husband (Paul Giamatti) — as they endure multiple fertility therapies to get pregnant. The drama also stars Molly Shannon and Emily Robinson.

Release date: Oct. 5

18 Venom

Image Source: Sony Pictures

The scoop: Tom Hardy’s upcoming Spider-Man spinoff, Venom, sees the villain in all his terrifying, gory glory. The trailer promises that we’ll see Eddie Brock’s (Hardy) transition and struggle going from investigative journalist to symbiote host, finally referring to himself as “we.” (Shiver!) His ex-girlfriend Anne Weying (Michelle Williams) and Riz Ahmed’s evil Dr. Carlton Drake (who will later become the film’s main antagonist, a fellow symbiote called Riot) also appear.

Release date: Oct. 5

19 A Star Is Born

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The scoop: Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga’s romance, which is the fourth iteration of this story, follows a has-been rock icon (Cooper) who discovers a ridiculously talented young singer (Gaga). Not only do they embark on an epic love story, but they’re also forced to navigate some thrilling triumphs and devastating pitfalls as they tackle the music industry.

Release date: Oct. 5

20 Bad Times at the El Royale

Image Source: 20th Century Fox

The scoop: Did God herself cast Bad Times at the El Royale? Because this thriller is seriously stacked with talent. Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Dakota Johnson, Cailee Spaeny, Lewis Pullman, and Nick Offerman play a group of strangers who find themselves clashing at the titular creepy hotel, owned by Jon Hamm. According to the film’s description, “Over the course of one fateful night, secrets are unearthed, and everyone will have a last shot at redemption before everything goes to hell.” Apparently “hell” is code for “Chris Hemsworth shirtless.”

Release date: Oct. 12

21 First Man

Image Source: Focus Features

The scoop: Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong in this biopic, which reunites him with La La Land director Damien Chazelle. Based on the book by James R. Hansen, the drama looks equal parts heartfelt and intense and also stars The Crown‘s Claire Foy and Bloodline‘s Kyle Chandler.

Release date: Oct. 12

22 Apostle

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: Occult horror-thriller Apostle stars Beauty and the Beast‘s Dan Stevens as Thomas Richardson, who returns home to London in 1905 only to discover that his sister has been captured by a cult led by the dangerously charismatic Prophet Malcolm (Michael Sheen) and is being held for ransom. Thomas sets out to rescue his sister, infiltrating the cult’s island community and eventually uncovering an evil secret.

Release date: Oct. 12

23 Beautiful Boy

Image Source: Amazon Studios

The scoop: Get your tissues ready, because Timothée Chalamet will break your heart in this Amazon Studios adaptation of Tweak and David Sheff’s gut-wrenching memoir, Beautiful Boy. Chalamet’s character goes from a lighthearted, suburban big brother who enjoys family time to a young adult battling a devastating methamphetamine addiction. Steve Carell plays his father, and their relationship will shake you to your core.

Release date: Oct. 12

24 Serenity

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: Anne Hathaway and Matthew McConaughey have reunited years after Christopher Nolan’s existential Interstellar for another stressful cinematic experience: enter Serenity. In it, a very blond Hathaway asks McConaughey to murder her abusive husband (Chappaquiddick‘s Jason Clarke) by dropping him smack dab in the ocean, much to the delight of any nearby sharks. Despite the grim premise, the trailer still makes the movie look pretty damn sexy, for what it’s worth.

Release date: Oct. 19

25 Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Image Source: 20th Century Fox

The scoop: Melissa McCarthy flexes her dramatic acting chops in Can You Ever Forgive Me? as Lee Israel, a real-life magazine writer whose life took a turn when she started forging and selling letters supposedly written by late, legendary writers. She later pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to transport stolen property in 1993 and eventually wrote a memoir about her life, upon which the biopic is based.

Release date: Oct. 19

26 Halloween

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: A David Gordon Green-directed reboot of the terrifying franchise sees Jamie Lee Curtis reprising her role as Laurie Strode from the 1978 original. Now older (but perhaps not altogether wiser), Laurie has spent years praying that her attempted murderer, Michael Myers, would escape from his psychiatric ward so that she can get revenge for the trauma he put her through by killing him herself. Well, thanks to a bus crash, she gets her wish, and the unstoppable homicidal maniac is let loose on the world once again.

Release date: Oct. 19

27 Wildlife

Image Source: IFC Films

The scoop: Do you hear that? It’s the sound of Oscar buzz for Wildlife, which stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Carey Mulligan as a couple who move their son to Montana in 1960, only for their marriage to fall apart.

Release date: Oct. 19

28 Galveston

Image Source: RLJE Films

The scoop: After mob hit man Roy (Ben Foster) discovers his boss has hired assassins to take him out, he goes on the run with a young, troubled woman named Rocky (Elle Fanning). As they make their way to Galveston, they desperately try to outrun not only the mob but also the demons from both of their pasts.

Release date: Oct. 19

29 An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: In this quirky comedy, Lulu Danger (Aubrey Plaza) is already deeply unsatisfied in her marriage to Shane (Emile Hirsch), but things only degrade further when a mysterious man from her past (Jemaine Clement) arrives in town to perform an event called “An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn; For One Magical Night Only.”

Release date: Oct. 19

30 Suspiria

Image Source: Amazon Studios

The scoop: As a follow-up to award season darling Call Me by Your Name, director Luca Guadagnino has dramatically changed courses by remaking one of the scariest horror movies from the 1970s: Suspiria. It follows Dakota Johnson’s ambitious young dancer, Susie, arriving at a world-renowned dance company led by a mysterious artistic director (Tilda Swinton), who will send Susie on a journey filled with darkness (translation: satanic rituals, witches, curses, murder, etc.). Mia Goth, Lutz Ebersdorf, Jessica Harper, and Chloë Grace Moretz also star.

Release date: Oct. 26

31 Bohemian Rhapsody

Image Source: 20th Century Fox

The scoop: The long-awaited Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, stars Rami Malek as the group’s legendary frontman Freddie Mercury and also dives into the musician’s relationship with Mary Austin (Lucy Boynton) and the creative process behind some of Queen’s biggest hits.

Release date: Nov. 2

32 The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Image Source: Disney

The scoop: Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms is a beautiful look at the magical world young Clara (Twilight’s Mackenzie Foy) stumbles upon one Winter night. Her new surroundings include a dashing soldier (Jayden Fowora-Knight), a gang of mice, the Sugar Plum Fairy (Keira Knightley), and a tyrannical Mother Ginger (Helen Mirren). Will Clara be able to locate the strange and mysterious key that can restore harmony in this parallel world? Considering real ballet superstar Misty Copeland has a starring role, we have high hopes for this.

Release date: Nov. 2

33 The Girl in the Spider’s Web

Image Source: Columbia Pictures

The scoop: In the first book since David Lagercrantz took over the Millennium trilogy from the late Stieg Larsson, Lisbeth Salander (Claire Foy, taking over for Rooney Mara) investigates an organization called the Spider Society. In the first trailer for the highly anticipated follow-up to 2011’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Foy looks unrecognizable as she terrorizes men who have harmed other women and confronts her dark, mysterious past.

Release date: Nov. 9

34 Outlaw King

Image Source: Netflix

The scoop: Chris Pine is leaving the 1980s behind for the 1300s, as he plays real-life Scottish king and rebel hero Robert the Bruce in Outlaw King. The Netflix historical drama hails from Hell or High Water director David Mackenzie and tells the true story of the reluctant medieval king who finds himself drawn into a vicious battle with King Edward I (Stephen Dillane) and his vengeful, violent son, the Prince of Wales (Billy Howle).

Release date: Nov. 9

35 The Oath

Image Source: Roadside Attractions

The scoop: Ike Barinholtz and Tiffany Haddish’s dark comedy sees a husband and wife attempting to survive “life and Thanksgiving in the age of political tribalism.” In other words, they sit down for dinner with their extended family and find themselves viciously sparring with their Republican relatives over a new government policy that will require citizens to sign a loyalty oath to the president. When two government agents (John Cho and Billy Magnussen) enter the mix, the holiday dinner fully goes off the rails.

Release date: Oct. 12

36 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The scoop: Not only does the Fantastic Beasts sequel take us to Hogwarts back in the day, but it also introduces young Dumbledore (Jude Law) and young Newt Scamander in a few nostalgic flashbacks. Of course, the film also moves to years later, when Dumbledore has to team up with adult Newt (Eddie Redmayne) on his journey to Paris, where he’ll no doubt run into the evil Grindelwald (Johnny Depp).

Release date: Nov. 16

37 Widows

Image Source: 20th Century Fox

The scoop: Another all-women heist flick is arriving this year. Oscar-winning director Steve McQueen has teamed up with Gone Girl author Gillian Flynn for Widows, a thriller about four women who are forced to step in to repay the debt their husbands — a gang of thieves who die during a heist gone wrong — couldn’t. The women in question? Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Michelle Rodriguez, and Cynthia Erivo, who look more than capable of sticking it to the men in their town who don’t think they “have the balls to pull this off,” according to Davis’s Veronica.

Release date: Nov. 16

38 Creed II

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The scoop: Michael B. Jordan’s boxer is back! This time around, The Land director Steven Caple Jr. is at the helm while Ryan Coogler serves as an executive producer, but Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, and Phylicia Rashad are all reprising their roles. The film picks up after Adonis’s defeat by “Pretty” Ricky Conlan in Creed, as he struggles to balance his boxing career with his relationship with Bianca (Thompson), as well as training for a fight against Viktor Drago, the son of former prize champion boxer Ivan Drago (who killed his father, Apollo, during an exhibition match).

Release date: Nov. 21

39 Second Act

Image Source: STX Entertainment

The scoop: Real-life BFFs Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini join forces for Second Act, which follows Lopez’s Maya as she struggles to climb the corporate ladder at the big-box store where she works because of her lack of an Ivy League degree. When her close friend and coworker (Remini) gets her son to “Cinderella” Maya’s résumé and internet presence — think: photos of her with the Obamas, climbing Kilimanjaro, a degree from Wharton — she suddenly finds herself with a fancy new job on Madison Avenue. Milo Ventimiglia and Vanessa Hudgens also star!

Release date: Nov. 21

40 Green Book

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: Peter Farrelly’s Green Book is based on a true story about two men in the 1960s who form an unlikely friendship. Academy Award winner Mahershala Ali stars as Dr. Don Shirley, a world-class black pianist, who hires Tony Lip (Academy Award nominee Viggo Mortensen), a Bronx-born bouncer, to drive him on a concert tour that extends from Manhattan to the Deep South. Using the “Green Book,” which serves as a guide to the establishments that were safe at the time for African-Americans, the pair navigate the ups and downs of their lengthy road trip together.

Release date: Nov. 21

41 Robin Hood

Image Source: Summit Entertainment

The scoop: Do you like roguish vigilantes? Or scenes that feature 50 arrows being shot at once in slow motion? How about dramatic dialogue like, “Who is he? He’s all of us.” If any of those things appeal to you, then good news: you’re going to love Robin Hood. The gritty adaptation of the classic “steal from the rich, give to the poor” tale stars Kingsman‘s Taron Egerton as the masked hero, as well as Bridge of Spies‘ Eve Hewson as Maid Marian and Jamie Foxx as Robin Hood’s mentor, Little John.

Release date: Nov. 21

42 Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2

Image Source: Disney

The scoop: Ralph and Vanellope have big adventures ahead of them! The adorable duo from Wreck-It Ralph are back for the colorful sequel, Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2. Six years after the events of the first film, Ralph (John C. Reilly) and Vanellope (Sarah Silverman) stumble upon a WiFi router in their arcade, which sends them on a high-flying journey around the World Wide Web. Luckily, the internet access means they’ll bump into a few Disney princesses — Merida, Moana, Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and more! — as well as other iconic internet figures.

Release date: Nov. 21

43 Mary Queen of Scots

Image Source: Focus Features

The scoop: Following the life of young Queen Mary after she is widowed at age 18, the biopic focuses on her relationship with rival Queen Elizabeth. Saoirse Ronan is starring as Mary Stuart opposite Margot Robbie as Queen Elizabeth I. Joe Alwyn and Guy Pearce also costar in the heated historical drama about an age-old story of family ties and dueling women in power.

Release date: Dec. 7

44 Aquaman

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The scoop: Prepare yourself for a more in-depth look at the world of Aquaman and his family. We’ll finally get to see Aquaman’s parents — his mother, Atlanna, played by Nicole Kidman, and his father, Tom Curry, played by Moana actor Temuera Morrison — as well as future wife Mera, played by Amber Heard. And no superhero film is complete without a proper villain, which we’ll get twofold thanks to Abdul-Mateen II’s Black Manta and Patrick Wilson’s Orm.

Release date: Dec. 21

45 Mortal Engines

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: In a postapocalyptic world, London has now become a giant machine that has to eat other cities to survive. Hugo Weaving, Jihae, and Robert Sheehan star in Peter Jackson’s adaptation.

Release date: Dec. 14

46 Bird Box

Image Source: Getty / Anthony Harvey

The scoop: Josh Malerman’s horrifying novel is coming to Netflix with a whole lot of star power. Sandra Bullock is set to play a mother struggling to keep her two children alive in the midst of an apocalypse that turns people into violent monsters and finds herself faced with navigating them down a dangerous river while blindfolded in search of salvation. Academy Award winner Susanne Bier is in the director’s chair, and the film also stars Trevante Rhodes, Sarah Paulson, and John Malkovich.

Release date: Dec. 21

47 Welcome to Marwen

Image Source: Universal Pictures

The scoop: Welcome to Marwen is directed by Robert Zemeckis and based on Jeff Malmberg’s award-winning 2010 documentary Marwencol and sees Steve Carell playing the real-life Mark Hogancamp, who was beaten into a coma by five men and spent 40 days in the hospital. After the attack left him with brain damage and PTSD, Hogancamp immersed himself in an intricate world of World War II-era miniatures as a form of art therapy. Carell is joined by Leslie Mann, Diane Kruger, Merritt Wever, Janelle Monáe, Eiza González, and Gwendolyn Christie.

Release date: Dec. 21

48 Mary Poppins Returns

Image Source: Disney

The scoop: Mary Poppins Returns will have your inner child freaking out. The sequel takes us back to Cherry Tree Lane, where we get to see Emily Blunt as the lovable nanny and Lin-Manuel Miranda as her dancing companion.

Release date: Dec. 19

49 Bumblebee

Image Source: Paramount Pictures

The scoop:Oh, you thought you’d seen the last of the Transformers franchise? Think again. After 2017’s fifth addition (called Transformers: The Last Knight), a prequel titled Bumblebee posits that “Every adventure has a beginning.” The action film will center on the origin story of the beloved Transformer and introduce the series to a few new stars (Hailee Steinfeld and John Cena).

Release date: Dec. 21

50 On the Basis of Sex

Image Source: Focus Features

The scoop: This biopic stars Felicity Jones (The Theory of Everything, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) as a young Ruth Bader Ginsburg as she fights for gender equality on the road to becoming a Supreme Court associate justice. The film also has a stellar supporting cast, including Kathy Bates, Armie Hammer, Justin Theroux, and Sam Waterston.

Release date: Dec. 25

(C)

[miketendo-64]

Having just watch the same Direct you have, Nintendo’s presentation may not have been as explosive as expected, but DAMN! Smash looks simply incredible and so, because there is a lot to cover, including new fact sheets for Fire Emblem Three Houses and Super Mario Party, here’s a Digest dedicated to catch you up on what you may have missed, starting with a video of the direct:

  Nintendo Smashes E3 with 2018 Lineup, Details About Super Smash Bros. Ultimate:

  Fortnite Arrives Today on Nintendo Switch; New Super Smash Bros., Pokémon Games and Many More All Launching This Year

  LOS ANGELES, June 12, 2018 – Nintendo opened its activities for the annual E3 2018 video game trade show with a bang – and a smash. Showing world-first footage of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Nintendo shared details about the latest entry in a series with sales of more than 40 million units worldwide. A new game built for the Nintendo Switch system, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate lets up to eight players square off in action-packed battles that are all about smashing beloved video game characters off the screen. Legendary game worlds and fighters collide in the ultimate showdown at E3 2018, which runs through June 14 at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Nintendo made its announcements during its Nintendo Direct: E3 2018 video presentation, which can be viewed at https://e3.nintendo.com. “At E3, we’re showing how Nintendo Switch continues to redefine play, with the broadest range of games people can enjoy together anytime, anywhere,” said Reggie Fils-Aime, Nintendo of America’s President and COO. “Fans who’ve debated which Super Smash Bros. fighter is the best now have the chance to settle their differences once and for all, pitting familiar faces against fresh challengers on stages both new and old. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu!and Pokémon: Let’s Go, Eevee!, and the arrival of Epic’s Fortnite on Nintendo Switch demonstrate the strong momentum Nintendo Switch continues to have through 2018 and beyond.”

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate will include every single fighter ever featured in the series’ nearly two-decade run, making it one of the biggest crossover events in gaming history. Fans can enjoy returning favorites like Ice Climbers and Pokémon Trainer, as well as newly announced fighters like Ridley from the Metroid series and Inkling from the Splatoon series. The game supports a variety of controller options, including Nintendo GameCube controllers (original or newly designed), Joy-Con controllers or the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller. With Nintendo Switch, players can throw down whenever and wherever they like in Handheld or Tabletop mode while enjoying online play.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate combines many stages and new items, with gameplay that makes it easy for players of all skill levels to jump in. All current Super Smash Bros. series amiibo figures are compatible with the game, and any fighter’s amiibo figure from other series will also be supported. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is set to launch on Dec. 7, exclusively for Nintendo Switch. It is being developed by Nintendo, Sora, Ltd. and BANDAI NAMCO Studios, and is directed by Masahiro Sakurai.

Nintendo also announced that Fortnite, the Battle Royale phenomenon from Epic Games, is available for Nintendo Switch – TODAY. Players can download it for free from the Nintendo eShop, then test their mettle in thrilling crucibles of combat. The action never stops with Fortnite on Nintendo Switch, where players can build and battle together anytime, anywhere. Team up online with friends in the same room or around the world. Weekly updates and new gameplay modes will keep the action fresh for seasoned Fortnite players and newcomers alike.

At its E3 booth this week in the Los Angeles Convention Center, Nintendo will give attendees their first chance to play Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let’s Go, Eevee!, two Pokémon games launching for the Nintendo Switch system on Nov. 16 at a suggested retail price of $59.99 each. Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon: Let’s Go, Eevee! are a new way to experience Pokémon that lets players adventure with their partner Pokémon in the vibrant Kanto region, discover fresh and exciting Pokémon encounters and Trainer battles, as well as share the adventure cooperatively with a friend anytime, anywhere on one Nintendo Switch system. Players can even transfer Kanto region Pokémon into the game from the Pokémon GO app. These games serve as an entry point to the Pokémon series for newcomers, but they also provide fun and engaging experiences for Pokémon fans of all ages. A new accessory, called Poké Ball Plus, comes with Mythical Pokémon, Mew and is sold separately from the games. Poké Ball Plus includes a pressable analog stick and button, so players can control the new games entirely with the accessory, if they want. Nintendo is announcing two bundles, in which players can get Pokémon: Let’s Go, Pikachu! or Pokémon: Let’s Go, Eevee! with one Poké Ball Plus at a suggested retail price of $99.99 each.

  Other upcoming items announced during the Nintendo Direct include:

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Expansion Pass owners also will gain access to Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna ~ The Golden Country to be released on Sept. 14. In this new story mode, players uncover the full history of Jin and the fall of his homeland, Torna, which existed 500 years before the events of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. This new storyline also will be available as a stand-alone retail package on Sept. 21. Full purchase details can be found at Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna ~ The Golden Country.

Super Mario Party: Inspired by the original Mario Party board game play, the beloved series is coming to Nintendo Switch with new mini-games and play styles that make use of the Joy-Con controllers. Super Mario Party includes features like character-exclusive Dice Blocks that add depth to players’ strategy. Up to four players take turns rolling the dice, and individually race across the board searching for Stars. In Toad’s Rec Room, new gameplay links two games and two Nintendo Switch systems for side-by-side fun. The game launches Oct. 5.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses: A new episode of the Fire Emblem series comes to Nintendo Switch for the first time in spring of 2019. The player can maneuver the main character freely and interact with other characters to build relationships and gather information at various points within the game. This turn-based tactical RPG will put new strategic twists on battling, with formations of troops supporting individual units on the battlefield. Players will get to know three main characters – Edelgard, Dimitri and Claude – who play key roles in the story.

DAEMON X MACHINA: A new fast-paced mech action game from Kenichiro Tsukuda is coming to Nintendo Switch in 2019. Players take their customizable Arsenal powered suit on a variety of missions to thwart the enemy at all costs. They can choose and equip their Arsenal with a multitude of weapons, obtain more from downed enemies and swap them on the fly to suit their strategy in the face of ever-changing threats.

Overcooked! 2: The kitchen mayhem returns in this sequel from Team17 and Ghost Town Games that’s brimming with even more recipes, characters, kitchens and co-op madness. Bake, barbecue or broil with up to three other players in wireless local and online play modes. Save the world from clumsy cooking when the frantic food-juggler arrives on Aug. 7.

Killer Queen Black: Redesigned from the ground up, the acclaimed arcade extravaganza that became a multiplayer phenomenon is coming to Nintendo Switch. Players can hop on a snail, hoard berries or wipe out the enemy’s queen to claim victory for their team in Liquid Bit and Bumble Bear Games’ Killer Queen Black, when it launches first on Nintendo Switch later this year.

Hollow Knight: Venture through the beautifully hand-drawn, mysterious landscapes of a vast forgotten kingdom in Team Cherry’s Hollow Knight, an action-adventure filled with gripping combat and haunting secrets. Hollow Knight on Nintendo Switch also includes the new items, areas, characters and bosses from the currently released contact packs – all available today.

Octopath Traveler: Players can take another early look at Square Enix’s upcoming fantasy epic when the Octopath Traveler Prologue Demo arrives June 14 in Nintendo eShop for Nintendo Switch. Play the demo, then use the save data transfer feature to carry your choices into the main game, once purchased, where players can live the stories of each of the eight travelers and freely explore the world of Orsterra. Octopath Traveler is scheduled to launch on July 13.

More great games are coming in 2018, including Dragon Ball FighterZ and Dark Souls: Remastered from BANDAI NAMCO Entertainment America, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus from Bethesda Softworks, Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate from Capcom, EA Sports FIFA 19 from Electronic Arts and Starlink: Battle for Atlas from Ubisoft, which includes characters and content from Nintendo’s Star Fox franchise that are exclusive to the Nintendo Switch version of the game.

  To celebrate E3 2018, Nintendo eShop will offer savings on select digital games that helped make some of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate game’s fighters famous, as well as other great digital games on Nintendo Switch and the Nintendo 3DS family of systems. The sale kicks off on June 14 at 9 a.m. PT, and runs until 8:59 a.m. PT on Thursday, June 21. The full listing of digital games on sale will be posted to https://e3.nintendo.com/ sale on June 14 at 9 a.m. and can be purchased directly from the website for download or in Nintendo eShop.

As always, people can keep an eye on https://e3.nintendo.com for all of Nintendo’s latest E3 updates, including today’s Super Smash Bros. Invitational 2018 and the final round of the Splatoon 2 World Championship, and lots of gaming details on Nintendo Treehouse: Live | E3 2018.

  Last but not least, Nintendo has also provided a bunch of screenshots for various things, which you can see below:

  Source: Nintendo PR

#NintendoDirect #E32018 Digest: #SuperMarioParty, #SuperSmashBrosUltimate and More – June 12, 2018 Having just watch the same Direct you have, Nintendo’s presentation may not have been as explosive as expected, but…

[deedles-sims]

Devin’s “Try  It All” Legacy Challenge for The Sims 4

Hi there! This is a legacy challenge I created to do/see/complete everything The Sims 4 has to offer at least once. It incorporates all traits at least once, most aspirations and careers, and all skills and collections. I apologize if the transitions aren’t all that (I randomized the generations and strung them together the best that I could), but I think this is a really neat idea and wanted to share it. However, please don’t post this elsewhere without giving credit. I spent many hours putting this together. I hope you enjoy! I’d love any feedback you have! If you’d like to post about your journey, you can use the #Try It All Legacy Challenge

Rules:

Don’t cheat. It’s no fun if you cheat your way to victory. The aim of the game is to do and complete everything the game offers at least once. If you cheat, you can’t boast about completing such a feat.

Traits, Aspirations, and Careers are chosen for you. Unless specifically stated, you can decide which branch of the career you’d like to do.

All Aspirations, Skills, and Collections listed must be completed before you move on to the next generation. Failure to complete one of the listed requirements (unless due to some game mechanic or something outside of your control) results in the loss of the challenge.

Obviously each generation needs to have at least once child (If you don’t then the legacy can’t continue!). It’s up to you whether you adopt or birth the heirs, and how the heir is chosen unless specifically stated (i.e., the heir can be whoever you want, unless as in Gen 21 when the heir needs to be a vampire).

Berry Sims aren’t a required part of the challenge, but I’ve added in colors that I think pertain to each generation nicely if you’d like to incorporate that as well.

Since there are so many generations, you can also make it an Alphabetacy!

What to Do:

Create your founder with the given Aspiration, and Traits (and Berry color if you’d like to incorporate that into the game).

DON’T CREATE ANY CHILDREN OR SPOUSES.

Choose a large lot to grow your family on. There aren’t any restrictions on staying on the same lot, but I personally think it’s neat to see the lot change over the course of the challenge.

Play through the challenge!

The Generations:

1. Super Parent (Light Blue)

You’ve always wanted to have a large, beautiful, and successful family. As the matriarch/patriarch, you want to see your children grow up well, and are determined to be a big part of that.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Ambitious, Neat

Job: Start Up Entrepreneur (Tech Guru)

Get married

Master Parenting Skill

Have one child gain all positive character traits (from the Parenthood Pack)

Host one of each of the following: Birthday Party, Weenie Roast, and Toddler Play Date.

2. Freelance Botanist (Forest Green)

You were your parents’ pride and joy. They want to see you become the best of the best, but you want to go a different route. Since you were young, you’ve had a special bond with plants. So special, in fact, that you prefer them over Sims! You long to have the biggest garden around.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Loner, Gloomy

Job: Being a Botanist

Master Gardening Skill

Complete Gardening collection

3. Master Mixologist (Grey)

As a teen, you had a fascination with nectar, but not in a bad way! You thought it was interesting how there were so many combinations that produced such delicious drinks, kind of like a chemist! You have made it your life’s goal to learn all of those combinations.

Traits: Foodie, Outgoing, Insider

Job: Mixologist

Master Mixology Skill

Throw a party to show off your skills

4. Angling Ace (Salmon)

While the rest of your family was busy fussing over food and parties, you were outside enjoying the great world around you. Among your favorite parts were the fish, which you’re determined to catch all of and have a private collection.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Glutton, Hot-Headed

Job: Food Critic

Master Fishing Skill

Complete Fish collection

Showcase at least 5 fish that you’ve caught.

5. Soulmate (Rose Pink)

One of your life’s dreams has always been to have a nice spouse and kids. But until that day, you’re dedicated to your office job. However, during a typical day at work, you stumble upon that special someone. It’s a regular old office romance! Let’s just hope you don’t let your jealousy get the best of you...

Traits: Romantic, Jealous, Family Oriented

Job: Public Relations

Have an office romance

Host a Wedding

Get Married

6. Musical Genius (Lavender)

Most of your childhood was spent perfecting your music, and as such, you are eager to be a famous musician. You intend to make all of your dreams come true, and spend many a day practicing.

Traits: Creative, Music Lover, Perfectionist

Job: Musician

Master Guitar Skill

Master Guitar Skill

Master Violin Skill

Master Pipe Organ Skill

Master Singing Skill

7. Outdoor Enthusiast (Mint)

Your childhood was filled with loud music as your parent practiced their instruments for hours on end. To get away from it all, you spent a lot of time outside, enjoying the great outdoors. Your biggest goal is to start a bug collection.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Vegetarian, Clumsy

Job: Politician with a Save the Trees platform

Master Herbalism Skill

Complete Insects Collection

8. Archaeology Scholar (Light Yellow)

Instead of chasing insects, you focused on the objects you found on your family outings. Once, even, you found treasure worth 1,000 simoleons! That sparked your interest so much that you’ve decided to dedicate your life to being a treasure hunter, both at work and outside. You’d love to have your own private collection someday!

Traits: Active, Ambitious, Cheerful

Job: Investor

Master Archaeology Skill

Master Selvedoradian Culture Skill

Complete Jungle Adventures collections

9. Party Animal (Plum)

You always hated the family treasure hunts your parents made you go on, but what could you do? Well, at least when you visited Selvedorada you could dance with the locals! You adored those times, especially the parties! You want to spend every waking moment living life it’s 1999!

Traits: Dance Machine, Bro, Insider

Job: Internet Personality

Master DJ Skill

Master Dancing Skill

Throw an Incognito Costume Party, a Spooky Party, a House Party, and a Dance Party.

(Bonus points if you have a child that gains all negative character traits from the Parenthood Pack. If you do, this should be your heir!)

10. Public Enemy (Scarlet)

Your parent was too caught up in their partying to raise you well, so you raised yourself (quite unsuccessfully, you might add). You never truly learned to share, or not to take what isn’t yours. If we’re being honest, you’re the kind of Sim that just wants to watch the world burn. And if it does, then you’d probably just laugh! (*insert evil laugh here*)

Traits: Evil, Kleptomaniac, Insane

Job: Criminal

Have 5 enemies

Have a collection of stolen items

11. Computer Whiz (White)

You always thought your mother/father was insane, and it turns out you were right! Because of your not-so-great upbringing, you’re a bit of a loner. However, you were the brightest student in your school, and you long to be the brightest computer genius in the entire world.

Traits: Geek, Genius, Loner

Job: eSports Gamer

Master Programming Skill

Master Video Gaming Skill

Complete MySims Collection

12. Bodybuilder (Gold)

As a child, your parents were very occupied with their technology. You, on the other hand, spent most of your time on the jungle gym. Now, as an adult, you’re dedicated to your health and wellness. If only you would just clean up after yourself!

Traits: Active, Slob, Self-Assured

Job: Pro Athlete

Master Fitness Skill

Master Wellness Skill

Adopt a cat or dog as part of a self-help kick

13. Friend of the Animals (Purple)

One of the best decisions your mother/father ever made (next to having you of course) was getting your 4-legged friend. The two of you were best friends since the day you were born, and because of the special bond you had, you’ve decided to open a vet clinic.

Traits: Cat or Dog Lover (Based on your choice in the last generation), Good, Bookworm

Job: Running a Vet Clinic

Master Pet Training Skill

Master Veterinarian Skill

Complete Feathers collection

Have at least 1 cat and 1 dog

14. The Curator (Ruby Red)

Your parent’s vet clinic didn’t leave them much time for parenting, but you didn’t mind. You were too busy collecting the many things around you. You got so busy, in fact, that you long to start a museum!

Traits: Snob, Art Lover, Unflirty

Job: Art Critic

Complete Crystals, Elements, Fossils, Metals, and Microscope Prints collections

15. Painter Extraordinaire (Sky Blue)

Spending time in your museum of a house wasn’t very entertaining, but you made it work. All you had to do was break out a canvas and some paints and you were set for hours! Of course, not all of it was a waste. You did learn some very handy photography techniques to help you as an adult.

Traits: Creative, Art Lover, Snob

Job: Painter

Master Painting Skill

Master Photography Skill

Host Black and White Bash to showcase your art

16. Nerd Brain (Steel)

You’re not one for art (the gene seems to have skipped a generation with you), but you are a whiz with a wrench! You’ll do anything to leave this world, including build your own rocket ship out of here! Sixam, here you come!

Traits: Geek, Ambitious, Perfectionist

Job: Astronaut

Master Handiness Skill

Master Rocket Science Skill

Complete Aliens collection

Complete Space Rocks collection

Befriend an alien

17. Master Chef (Apricot)

Outer space was never really your thing, but it did give you some wonderful recipes! You’re perfectly fine spending the rest of your life on planet Earth, so long as you learn every recipe there is!

Traits: Foodie, Genius, Vegetarian

Job: Master Chef

Master Cooking Skill

Master Baking Skill

Master Gourmet Cooking Skill

Throw a dinner party

18. Chief of Mischief (Crimson)

Instead of helping your parent in the kitchen or licking the spoon, you preferred to break it. Your parent gave up on changing your ways rather quickly, so you became the mean-spirited Sim you are now. Rather than being a silly chef, you want to change the world in a bad way: by being the best super villain!

Traits: Mean, Lazy, Childish

Job: Villain

Master Mischief Skill

Win 5 fights

19. Renaissance Sim (Orange)

Your parent’s evil ways have rubbed off on you, at least somewhat. Instead of being an evildoer, though, you just want to be a mad scientist! You use frogs as your test subjects (but not for things that would hurt them! You’re not that bad), and occasionally enjoy a game of bowling.

Traits: Squeamish, Geek, Materialistic

Job: Scientist

Master Bowling Skill

Master Logic Skill

Complete Frog Collection

Complete Space Prints Collection

Reach at least level 5 of 2 other skills, but never commit enough to master them

20. Serial Romantic (Hot Pink)

You’ve never been one for committing, a trait taught to you by your mother/father. However, instead of not committing to a career or hobby, you can’t seem to commit to a single Sim! You spend much of your life bouncing from one Sim to another to sometimes several at once!! It doesn’t even matter if they’re fully human or not, either! At least you’re successful in your career...

Traits: Noncommittal, Romantic, Hates Children

Job: Doctor

Have 3 significant others at once

Never marry

Have only 1 child (must be with a vampire!!!)

21. Master Vampire (Blood Red)

Your parent was always too busy fooling around to spend time with you, so you’re quite the loner. It doesn’t help that you’re a vampire and they also didn’t know how to raise you. You figured the whole “drinking blood instead of food” thing out on your own, though. Of course, being immortal is depressing, so you don’t talk to many people, and you’re sad pretty often.

Traits: Loner, Gloomy, Snob

Job: Management

Master Vampire Lore Skill

Become a Master Vampire

Marry a human

22. Joke Star (Navy Blue)

When you were younger, you were very much the goofball in school, and you quickly decided you wanted to make it your life’s goal to make every Sim laugh. You are determined to be the most famous comedian in the world!

Traits: Goofball, Outgoing, Cheerful

Job: Comedian

Master Comedy Skill

Master Charisma Skill

23. Bestselling Author (Sepia)

As a class assignment one day, you researched your family tree and discovered all of your wacky ancestors and their antics. Using this as your inspiration, you’ve decided to be an author and write an entire book series about your family.

Traits: Creative, Bookworm, Self-Assured

Job: Author

Write 23 books (one for each heir), and a final autobiography.

Complete Postcards collection

[notgoingtohappen]

Revenge, Interrupted (Part 22)

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21

A/N: Inspiration has struck. Enjoy.

Drums were beating in the distance.

The pounding grew louder and more intense until Stefan finally opened his eyes with a groan to look for the source.

He realised it was his head. Trying to think coherently in the face of his killer hangover, he sat up in the fluffy white sheets. Blinking in the bright sunlight, he found himself staring at walls that looked... wooden?

He started. Where was he?

His eyes swept the pristine room and his gaze landed on the figure sleeping next to him. A figure with blonde eyes and smears of blue on her cheek and a peaceful smile on her lips–

The previous night's events came crashing back to his consciousness and he froze.

The knowledge of what had happened– what he'd let happen, and worst of all, enjoyed that much– paired with the disorientation was too much for him. It reminded him too much of nights with Katherine, when he'd wake hungover, drugs still buzzing in his system, unsure of where he was and what was going on. He scrambled out of the bed and burst outside.

This wasn't the warehouse. It was some sort of cabin.

He went back into the room and gently shook Caroline awake. He was dreading looking her in the eye. He didn't know what to make of the previous night, and he was afraid she'd say something that would confirm it was nothing. He knew it was nothing; the result of alcohol and the wild party, but his feelings had been all over the place for too long and this wasn't going to help.

Her bright blue eyes fluttered open and she looked so peaceful and beautiful he wondered how anything about this could have ever reminded him of Katherine.

Her eyebrows furrowed and he could see the realisation hit her as her eyes widened and the peacefulness she was looking at him morphed into confusion and then mortification. Her cheeks flushed and she bit her lip as she sat up quickly. He didn't know how to start talking to her. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea, even though that was the most amazing night of his life and he just wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she didn't want him like he wanted her.

"Stefan, hey. Uh..."

"You have a coat on" He realised suddenly.

She looked down. "Oh, um... but I remember... didn't we?"

"We did."

"So... where did this come from?"

"No idea... we were wasted."

"Wait, where are we?" She asked, looking around.

"I have no clue, it looks like a cabin."

"This has got to be a dream" She muttered.

They stepped into the hallway, careful to keep a distance, and Stefan was painfully aware of the distance between them. Both physical and metaphorical.

Stefan called out Damon's name while she dialled her friends' numbers, but before they could do anything else a familiar face popped up at the end of the hallway.

"Nadia?" Caroline asked incredulously.

"What the fuck is going on?" Stefan said.

'Shh, not so loud." She groaned, clutching her head.

They followed her to the dining table in the lobby of the cabin and she gestured to the sheet of aspirin lying there.

"What's going on is we all got hammered and decided to hire a party bus at 5 am to drive up to my family's cabin. Damon found you in a room upstairs and you guys were more than happy with the idea."

"I have no recollection of that." Caroline groaned.

Nadia snorted. "Yeah, you guys were gone. Couldn't even find your shirts. You just had your bra and skirt. Elena was worse. Coffee?"

"Sure. Where are the others?" Stefan asked.

"They're out cold. The roads up here are closed because of the snow this morning, so enjoy the warmth of my family's beloved vacation house I guess. We can't leave until tomorrow.

He stared tersely into space, still refusing to look at Caroline.

Nadia eyed them warily. “Everything okay, you two?”

“Yeah, of course.” Caroline said unconvincingly.

"So, the heating's on, there are extra blankets in the cupboards, and there's hot water if you want to shower. I'm going to wake Liam up. See ya." She sighed and trudged up the stairs to what was probably the master bedroom.

"It's a pretty cabin" Caroline mumbled. "Is that Kai on the couch?"

Stefan almost laughed at the sight of Kai sprawled asleep on his stomach under layers of blankets, his face covered in purple paint. Almost. Now that he was alone with Caroline, his heart was sinking. And beating too fast. It wasn't a fun combination.

She grabbed a plate of toast while he grabbed two mugs of coffee, and they made their way back to their room, out of earshot. They sat on opposite corners of the bed, staring at the plate between them.

Everything had changed.

"So..." He started slowly.

Caroline let out a scoff, a sarcastic smile plastered on her face. "I guess we can add friends with benefits now to our fake relationship."

Was she mad at him?

"I'm sorry, Caroline. I never meant for–"

She looked up at him in surprise. "Are you kidding? How is it your fault?"

"It's not yours."

Her bitter smile only intensified as she shook her head. "I'm the one who was so determined to have a good time."

Watching how deeply she regretted it drove daggers into Stefan's heart. She was mad at herself.

"That shouldn't happen again," Stefan said, even though it was killing him.

With that sentence, the anger in her eyes seemed to dissolve into sadness. What was going on?

"No more alcohol till this is over, huh?"

Their plan was still on?

Caroline caught Stefan's look of confusion and her eyebrows furrowed. "The prank is still happening, right?"

"You tell me." He wanted to leave it up to her.

She looked defeated. "I mean... we've come so far."

"It does seem pointless to give up after all this." He agreed.

Pathetic. It was going to bring him so much turmoil, but he couldn't bear to let her go from his life as long as she would have him.

"Yeah. Just a little longer."

"We just have to act in front of them."

"Your job's about to start anyway."

They gave each other a tiny nod of agreement and then ate their breakfast in silence.

~*~

When Caroline ducked into the shower only to forget her towel and poked her head out to ask him to pass it to her, Stefan couldn't help but look at her smooth, pale shoulder and remember the previous night. The light in her eyes, her seductive smile, her silky hair, her magnetic movements, her flowery perfume, the way she felt... he mentally kicked himself.

Bonnie found them a few hours later, lounging in the warm bed. Stefan was reading, and next to him Caroline was scrolling through her phone.

She stumbled into the room and plopped down on Caroline's side.

"What is wrong with us? No, seriously, what?"

Caroline sighed. "It's gonna make a great story someday."

Bonnie scoffed and stared up at the ceiling. 

Stefan chuckled for her benefit. "Eternal optimist."

Caroline smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"'Kay, I'm gonna go find Elena." Bonnie bounced up and immediately winced.

"Let me get you some aspirin."

"Had some."

"I'll come with you anyway," Caroline said hurriedly.

Bonnie looked at her with mild confusion and Caroline turned to Stefan and lightly pecked his cheek. "I'll be back soon."

With that, she was gone.

~*~

Stefan couldn't shake the feeling they'd ruined their friendship. Or that Caroline hated him now. 

It's why he agreed without hesitation when she suggested they go for a walk in the snow.

"Just wear a sweater under your coat. It's freezing." He said absentmindedly.

Caroline whipped up to look at him with an expression he couldn't place. "Right, thanks. You too."

They walked until the glow of the cabin lights was distant and then Caroline was the one who broke the silence.

Hair tucked into a fuzzy cap, hands shoved into her pockets, she came to a dead halt and turned to him.

"Stefan, we're still friends right?"

He was taken aback. "Yes, of course. I just thought–"

"I know. I was dealing with some stuff, and... nevermind, it's not important. I hate thinking something isn't right between us."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Me too. I missed my friend."

"You're one of my best friends here. The thought of you not being in my life..."

Stefan's heart was no longer dead and cold.

"I'm sorry. You were just so uncharacteristically quiet, I didn't know what you were thinking."

"I know, but you were so passive, I didn't know what to say." She admitted. "We're a mess."

"A hot mess," he said with his first genuine smile that day.

"It's a genius plan, but it was bound to lead to some complicated shit."

He nodded.

Caroline let out a sigh. "Phew. Glad that's sorted. I guess alcohol really makes sex that much more amazing, huh?"

So it had been amazing for her too.

Stefan raised his eyebrows in mock offence. "That was all me, I'm pretty sure."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You wish."

And before he knew it, she was hugging him. He hugged her back, holding her for just the right amount of time before pulling away from her warmth.

"Let's head back."

The walk back was lighter; Stefan was relieved some part of their old dynamic was back. Damon and Elena were sitting on the porch, and Stefan stopped to greet his brother.

"That was a wild night, huh little bro?"

"Tell me about it.”

"Damon, why don't we go for a long romantic walk?" Elena suggested.

Damon groaned. "Do you want us to die of hypothermia, woman?"

"Come on." Elena tugged him up and they walked down the steps, hand in hand.

"He's right. It is pretty cold." Caroline said.

"Yeah, it's why we have boyfriends." Elena shot back.

Stefan looked down at her and smiled, reaching to tuck back a stray lock of hair that had escaped her cap. She smiled radiantly at him, and that was more reassuring than anything else she could have done. They were fine. They were just Stefan and Caroline, friends, fake boyfriend and girlfriend.

He took her face in her hands and kissed her gently in the glow of the sun setting on the horizon.

When they pulled away, Caroline's eyes shone with softness.

It made Stefan's heart soar.

The happiness didn't leave him for the rest of the night.

Not when the gang huddled before the fireplace after dinner with mugs of hot chocolate, chatting and joking, and Caroline nuzzled close to him on the couch as he held her close.

Not when she finally fell asleep on his lap, her head resting contentedly against his chest, blissfully warm from the fire and each other.

Not when he had to ease the thick woollen sheets off them and carried her gently to the bed, trying not to wake her up as he set her down and got in beside her.

No, the sinking feeling only returned when he unplugged his phone from the charger and checked it for the first time that day.

Three missed calls and seven texts from Lexi Branson.

He checked his call history, dreading what he knew he’d find. He'd left her two long messages, and from her texts, it looked like he'd told her everything. Reality hit him again.

What was he doing?

He'd let himself forget today that it wasn't real.

Kissing her had been way too amazing for him, and now they'd had sex.

The only thing she felt for him was friendship.

She didn't deserve him complicating things.

He didn't deserve heartbreak.

He hadn't felt this conflicted since Katherine.

Unable to get any sleep with these thoughts swirling around in his head, he got out of the cozy bed and tried the door on his side of the room, which opened into the back porch. He tried Lexi's number, but there wasn't any signal. Exhausted, he gripped the railing and looked up at the star-studded sky, breathing in the fresh air.

He stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing deeply, until he was feeling slightly more peaceful and turned around only to start at the sight of Caroline standing in the doorway, watching him.

The sweater she'd thrown on fell to her knees. The moonlight made her hair glow pale, and her eyes shone serenely, and she smiled gently at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's fine." She walked to him and grabbed his hand, reassuringly rubbing a circle into it with her thumb before looking up at him questioningly.

"It's Katherine... I haven't thought about her in a while and... suddenly everything is reminding me of our fucked up relationship."

That wasn’t the entire truth.

Caroline's mouth formed a little 'O’ and she looked away thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry. I'm here if you want to talk."

"It's so far in the past." He didn't want to think about all of that too now.

"Okay." She said simply. "Come back in, you need to sleep."

He let her lead him back to the bed, and for the first time, they cuddled close together before they fell asleep, Caroline's hand in his, Stefan gently stroking her hair, her soft body resting against his muscled one under the heavy blankets.

They told themselves it was for warmth.

Also, no point in delaying the inevitable.

Under the starlight filtering in through the glass windows, it all felt like a dream, anyway.

23

[beatles-floyd-polaroid]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? no

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1

3. The person you would never want to meet? no one

4. What is your favourite word? bidet

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? cherry tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? gotta get ready quickly cos i’m late

7. What shirt are you wearing? pyjama

8. What do you label yourself as? persistent

9. Bright room or dark room? dark af, i’m an owl

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? watching True Detective

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 19 ok no idea man

12. Who told you they loved you last? mark

13. Your worst enemy? no one

14. What is your current desktop picture? relaxing pic with candles and stuff

15. Do you like someone? indeed

16. The last song you listened to? I want you (she’s so heavy) - beatles

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? bis (same answer as above)

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? same answer again, apologise for being an asshole and care more for the interests of humanity and the planet in general instead of having as a priority Making america “great” again

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) no clue

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? experiment

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? humm

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? cockroaches (more like disgust) otherwise getting a serious accident physically debilitating while remaining alive

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. surimi

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? save it for something useful/spend in something useful like food for example

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? dude i got a job can’t just leave like that.. otherwise brazil, bahamas or caribbean sth like that

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Leffe (’cos there’s “blanche” the weakest beer ever here in Belgium)

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? respect yourself and others

29. What is your favourite expletive? don’t like them

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? phone or laptop

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? primary/middle and secondary school

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-travelling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! it’s ok here

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? grandma

34. What was your last dream about? don’t remember

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? fighter (try and cross the line)

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? “admitted”. yes

37. Have you ever built a snowman? who has time for that..

38. What is the color of your socks? black

39. What type of music do you like? go on my blog

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? rises (sets are sad idk why)

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? banana and strawberry (separated)

42. What football team do you support? Sporting clube de portugal (even though i’m not really a fan of football)

43. Do you have any scars? indeed, leg & hand

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? i did (bachelor’s only so far)

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? *brings the toilet paper roll list*

46. Are you reliable? um i hope

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? why bro?

48. Do you hold grudges? nop

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? birdhorse

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? so many

51. Are you a good liar? nah

52. How long could you go without talking? don’t like that

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? 12 yrs old

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? yes

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? i try

56. What do you like on your toast? butter/cheese

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? don’t often draw

58. What would be you dream car? volkswagen beetle

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. hum no

60. Do you believe in aliens? yes

61. Do you often read your horoscope? to make fun of it

62. What is your favourite letter of the alphabet? M

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dragons cos they don’t/never exist (and because of shrek as well

64. What do you think about babies? cute but good for others i wouldn’t personally have one

[aion-rsa]

The Top 15 Most Shameless Moments

https://ift.tt/36jDT0X

If you missed Shameless last year, there is no reason to worry. A cast member or two will be ready at the top of Dec. 6’s premiere to curse you for being the spoiled suburban princess that you are.

But as enjoyable as every season of irrepressible Gallagher behavior can be, there’s little denying that each year features something so Shameless that it dwarfs the rest of the bad behavior that came before it. These are moments that are so crass in their unapologetic depravity that they transcend being more broken furniture on the South Side, and instead become a true work of Gallagher (or Milkovich) art. There are quite a few of these Gallagher-ups, but we’ve boiled it down to the 15 essentials ahead of the final season.

15. The Time When Karen Jackson Finally Became “Daddy’s Girl”….

Karen is a very difficult character to like. While undoubtedly sympathetic because of her upbringing at the hands of a Catholic hypocrite and a love-smothering agoraphobe, she is also a girl who messed with Lip’s head three-ways to Sunday and would rather feed her special needs kid to the system than let her mother raise him.

However, her earliest sign of wrathful vengeance is also one that is totally justified, and a subversively hilarious bit from Season 1. When her dad slut shames her in front of the local church community after she confesses to her (admittedly many) lustful sins, she gets back at him and then some. She dyes her hair, she gets facial piercings… and she seduces (or rapes) a very drunk, defenseless Frank Gallagher before sending daddy the viral video at work.

It is sick, underhanded, and somehow a completely cathartic moment of television. Frank’s inebriated actions with the 16-year-old daughter of his girlfriend on the other hand… At least, Karen finally reconciled with her dad when she defecated on his tombstone.

14. The Time When Hurricane Monica Swept up Baby Liam….

Looking back, there are a lot of instances where tiny baby Liam was used as a prop for mean-spirited Shameless writing. Yet one of the cruelest abuses came at the hand of his own mother. All of season 1 felt like Fiona, Lip, and Ian trying to keep their heads above water with their younger, more innocent siblings watching as helplessly as their drunken, deadbeat dad. It ultimately raised the question: where is their mother and why is she gone?

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Well, after two hours with Hurricane Monica, every viewer knew that it’d have been better if she had never returned. At first, Monica is always smiles and lollipops for the kids she abandoned, even more thoroughly than Frank who at least wanders past the old homestead for drug money every couple of weeks.

However, she makes her intentions clear when she attempts to take Liam as her only child to be raised with the new lesbian truck driving “love of her life.” It is a quiet admission that she screwed up royally raising her other kids, so she’d rather just start from scratch with Liam, a new life to destroy while ignoring the rest of the blood of her blood. It is a horrifically callous thing to do to one’s own kids, and probably a fate even more horrible for Liam, who despite his troubles in Season 4, never ended up in the crack den that Monica would.

13. Hurricane Monica Attempts Suicide for Thanksgiving

A sadder moment of shamelessness, this, Monica upsets what was an otherwise happy Thanksgiving at the end of season 2. While no turkey had been carved, there was plenty of bald eagle (courtesy of Carl), and good cheer going around between the whole clan, including a reunited Fionna and Simmy (Steve/Jimmy).

It does not last though when Monica, suffering another bout of depression due to her Bipolar disorder, goes into the kitchen and decides to carve her own arm. There is something definitely depressing about her not being able to handle moments of happiness. But it’s also dispiriting the whole family can’t even have a Thanksgiving without at least one Gallagher going to the hospital. Happy holidays, folks.

12. The Time When Frank Traded Liam In For a Gambling Debt…

This could just be a list of Frank’s 15 most shameless moments, because here is a man who never met a good decision that he didn’t puke at the sight of before running in the other direction with a cackle. In truth though, it wasn’t entirely Frank’s fault that Liam became leverage for his gambling debt after he challenged (with more than a hint of racism) a fellow Alibi bar patron that he couldn’t stay conscious through two taser blasts (spoiler alert: he did). So Frank took Liam without permission from his more responsible kids as a panhandling prop to gather the $10,000 due.

And when the drug dealing shark came to collect, and then kidnapped his son as collateral, Frank not only ignored them taking Liam but shrugged it off without telling Fiona, Lip, or anyone that could take responsibility. Nope, Frank just shrugged off his son’s kidnapping, proving once again that he is God’s perfect asshole.

11. The Time When Fiona Slept with Her Boyfriend/Boss’s Brother…Twice (or more)…

Emmy Rosusm‘s Fiona committed spectacular career and relationship suicide when she let lovably bland Mike’s older, drug-addicted brother tap into her own addiction for sex with complete morons. Robbie is the kind of guy who will do cocaine tomorrow and, well past 30, ask his parents to flip for his spa rehab treatment tomorrow. In short he’s the perfect target for Fi to blow things with Mr. Vanilla, who wanted to do stuff like take her out to dinner for her birthday or have a phone chat every night.

Mike isn’t for Fiona, but talk about throwing the race to get past the poverty line right at the photo finish. When Robbie calls Fi an addict for sex, excitement, and all other momentary vices, she begrudgingly believes him. Sadly, it sets up a far less characteristic screw-up involving cocaine and Liam that is less shameless and more tragic…

10. The Time When the Milkoviches Dug a Grave in the Mary Kay Letourneau Stand-In’s Front Yard…

That is one way to get rid of the competition! When Lip Gallagher discovered that a child predator lived in the neighborhood, he set up one of Shameless’ best gags by gathering an eclectic posse of otherwise isolated factions to kick this guy’s ass. Except it wasn’t a guy, it was a hot 20-something blonde teacher who likes them young. Real young. Lip still wanted her ass, but in a very different way. After erstwhile-girlfriend Mandy Milkovich figures out what’s going on, she gathers Mickey and her other brothers to handle things the Milkovich way—a style far beyond those Gallaghers pansies.

When Miss Thing opens her door one chilly evening, she meets a chipper Mandy, smiling as the big bros are four feet deep in a freshly dug hole in the garden. Mandy gives her a choice: she can pack all the things she can in the next 15 minutes and go, or wait for the Milkoviches to reach the magic number of six feet and go in the hole. As Mandy grins at one less predator in Chicago fleeing into the midnight darkness, anyone could tell that Mandy was more than a little disappointed she couldn’t fill the hole with more than a threat; luckily, her brothers had some other poor faceless schmo ready to go. Never waste a perfectly good grave, especially in soil that soft!

9. The Time Debbie Gallagher Got Pregnant to Keep a Guy

Debbie Gallagher had a rough childhood. Fiona did her best as the older sister trying to also play den mother, but she really couldn’t give Debbie the type of attention she needed, or the family life she craved. And crave it, she did. So much so that when she became a teenager and faced the prospect of a life outside the Gallagher house, she decided she might make one of her own, immediately, especially if it could “trap” a guy.

So in season 5, she makes the conscious choice to lie about “being on the pill” when she has sex with Derek at the age of 16. And upon getting pregnant, she thinks she will be able to keep the boy and have Fiona to help raise it while she finishes school. Instead Fi tries to force her into an abortion, which is its own thorny issue, but then so is Debs keeping the baby she thinks will earn her the family life she always craved. Instead Franny puts her on the path of dropping out of high school and having a responsibility she just as often tries to shirk as take seriously.

8. The Time When Debbie Saved the House…by Accusing Cousin Patrick of Molestation

Oh, they grow up so fast, don’t they? When the series started Debs was the loving younger Gallagher sister who only wanted Frank to spend more time in the house, and maybe to have a Great Aunt Ginger around to bake them cookies (more on her later). But like her older siblings, she has to grow up eventually. For this family that means realizing that:

a) Frank is useless piece of shit.

b) Monica’s probably worse as the emotional hand grenade with the pin always falling out.

c) The only way the Gallaghers will ever get ahead is if someone else is going down hard.

Luckily, she learned that last bit at the exact right moment when she almost sent Cousin Patrick away for probably 10 to 15. Patrick had proven to be as big a Gallagher as the rest of the family when he wrote his cousins’ house in his name on a forged will that supposedly belonged to Great Aunt Ginger. So when the body was finally exhumed and the last social security check had been cashed, he was ready to evict his own cousins to make a little extra on the side. But when Debbie discovered her voice in front of the evicting cops, it seemed like Cousin Patrick also wanted a little more on the side. The kind of side that would end with a shiv tip in prison.

When faced with those kind of charges, the Gallaghers kept their house with a diminished rent check of only a few hundred dollars a month, and Debbie earned her first ounce of seniority respect as a force to be reckoned with from Fiona and Lip. It was only the beginning.

7. The Time Frank Tries to Ruin Fiona’s Wedding/His Kids… Try to Kill Him?

Technically what Frank Gallagher did on the day of his daughter’s wedding saved her a lot of pain. He’d discovered her husband-to-be Sean (Dermott Mulroney) was an addict who’d relapsed and was still going to marry her. She was entering a marriage under false pretenses, and Frank would in his own way stop the heartache. Of course that isn’t why Frank did it. He was simply pissed and snotty about his daughter refusing to let him give her away.

So he spied on Sean looking for anything he could latch onto would ruin Fiona’s big day. And boy did he found it. He intervened not as a concerned father but as a vengeful bratty child who wanted to inflict the maximum amount of embarrassment and shame on his daughter. And that he did, humiliating her in front of all their friends and family.

Ergo his children tried something they’d never attempted before: Throwing papa from a bridge. Did they think the fall would kill him? They certainly had to be aware it was a possibility, particularly on a cold Chicago morning. Frankly, my dear, I don’t think they gave a damn. Pity he survived.

6. The Time When Sheila is coaxed into Killing Frank’s Mother…

Death is part of the circle of life. And if that life is as rotten as Gammy Gallagher’s was, then we might be ready to close that circle early. Unlike her kicking and screaming son in Season 4, Grammy not only welcomed a shuffle off this mortal coil, she longed for it. And she found the perfect instrument to end her cancerous suffering in the guise of Sheila Jackson, the sweetly endearing neighborhood fool.

Sure, Grammy and Sheila got off to a rough start with accusations of one being a crude, rude, monster mother, and the other being a homebody vampire, but the two found an understanding when Sheila became Grammy’s nurse in Frank’s absence.

Grammy even convinced Sheila that part of those nursing duties included kindly smothering her into the afterlife. That is one way to make an exit, and Sheila actually thinks she is doing God’s work! It is a moment that is equal parts tender, horrifying, and laughable. In short, it is pure Shameless.

5. The Time When the Gallaghers Kidnap “Aunt Ginger” From Veronica’s Nursing Home…

The good thing about Alzheimer’s patients is they can keep some damn big secrets: like being kidnapped or dressed as a long dead Ginger Gallagher. To rewind for a moment, Great Aunt Ginger was one of the hardest working Gallaghers the family has ever known. She practically turned her preferred street corner into her own place of kneeling. But by the time she died, she had reached the golden age of Social Security checks.

So without telling anyone, Frank Gallagher buried her in the backyard and collected her SS money for over a decade. Now whether he told everyone else that she moved to Michigan because he knew her passing would break their hearts or because he wanted to keep the money for his booze is a mystery left completely solved by common sense. Nevertheless, when the federal government finally caught on something fishy was happening, the beans are spilled and the Gallaghers have to scramble to find a new “Great Aunt Ginger” or face child services.

Enter New Great Aunt Ginger, compliments of Veronica’s nursing home for the severely forgetful. It is hard to tell what is sadder, that the day the Gallaghers spend taking “holiday” pictures for a lifetime with the new Ginger went by as a real day of family activity for the confused woman… or that this was the first time Debbie felt like she had a maternal figure to latch onto. It is a twisted warm and fuzzy resolution to this early, infamous Shameless supblot.

4. The Time When Mandy Facilitated Karen’s “Accident”….

For the Milkovich family, nothing says love like an attempted murder. So Mandy must have really loved Lip, because she did it twice. The first time was a (possibly) idle threat to the inappropriate teacher, but there was nothing idle about Mandy’s methodical destruction of Karen’s life.

To be clear, Karen is not a good person. In the scene leading up to her accident, Sheila takes responsibility for her daughter turning out as such a repugnant human being, and the pain of the sequence is that there is some truth in it. But whatever Karen or Sheila’s failings, it does not excuse what comes next.

Karen receives a text from Lip, promising to make amends for the mean things he last said to her if she meets him in the park. But instead of finding Lip’s proverbial mouth, she ends up kissing an SUV’s metallic grill when it plows into her going at least 40 mph. Sure, Karen lives, but she is now as mentally gone as her special needs child, Hymie.

Mentally handicapped for life, Karen’s story is done, ending in a way more broken than any Gallagher’s has so far experienced. What Mandy did is incredibly evil: stealing a phone and setting a trap that she had hours to contemplate. Karen was bad for Lip, but Mandy did something rare even for a show like Shameless: she crossed a line.

3. Frank Calls DCFS on His Kids

Another line was crossed in the third season, and it revealed the true awfulness of Frank’s parenting skills. To be fair, we’d known about “Father” Frank since he punched Ian in the face in the series premiere. Plus, there is that time he used Liam as collateral listed above. However, at least the latter moment was written with a tongue-in-cheek, as the show never doubted Fiona and Lip would get the lad back.

What was done without an ounce of humor is the time Frank threw a pity party for himself and then called DCFS on his own kids. Why? Because they kicked him out of the house after he acted the belligerent drunk for the millionth time. So, nursing his wounds at the Alibi, he decides to show the ingrates by calling Child Services on them, revealing his kin are living without parental supervision. The act of pathetic revenge nearly loses all of Frank’s children to the foster care system, with Fiona spends the whole season fighting desperately to keep the kids… and consigning her future to the trash heap as a result.

Frank should’ve gone off that bridge much sooner.

2. The Time When Frank Pretends to Be a Boyfriend to His Estranged Daughter…

When diagnosed with cancer, most people would do anything to survive the harrowing fight. But Frank isn’t most people, as he does them all one better: he tracks down his eldest daughter, who he has never met before, and pretends to be a straight-edged Good Samaritan looking for a date. Clearly Sammi has daddy issues when she looks at Frank as a suitor and is willing to give him a slice of her liver after two dates.

To Frank’s credit, he never seems into kissing his daughter, making out with his daughter, seeing his daughter in her underwear, or apparently grinding on his daughter off-screen. But he still does it all. It is quite honestly one of the most disgusting, deplorable, and instantly iconic Frank storylines in all of Shameless. Miraculously, Sammi stays by Frank’s side as a daughter when the truth comes flooding out. Some viewers may condemn her, but how many of us still watch after seeing the other crap he’s gotten up to? In fact, this isn’t even his most outrageous medical scam…

1. The Time When Frank Lied About Dottie’s Transplant and then Broke Her Heart…

Yes, the most lowdown, brazen, and high-handed action came early in season 2 in a moment that feels like it was (almost) paid back by the universe’s karma in season 4. It’s the time when Frank knew about Dottie’s heart transplant… and then still banged her to death. Literally. Frank found out that “butterface” Dottie, the Alibi’s former good-time girl who worked for the city, is quickly dying and is in need of a heart transplant. The likelihood of her surviving this is so low that Frank is willing to marry her and knowingly “light a candle for you everyday.”

What he really wants is to be placed in her will for all that government pension money. He doesn’t even have to sleep with her, because the act of making love will kill her barely-operating heart. So when bride-to-be Dottie is in the shower, Frank is the only one to hear her get the call: she has won the medical lottery and is going to get a heart transplant! Except, she’s already dead. At least that is what Frank tells the hospital before hanging up.

And it was all for naught. Dottie ended up giving her money to the estranged adult daughter she barely knew, leaving Frank with nothing. Frank’s only consolation prize is that she is sick of waiting for a heart that will never come (Frank made sure of that), and she requests that he screws the life out of her, which he does with aplomb.

He didn’t let her know about a heart transplant for money that he’d never see, and he still sleeps with her, knowing full well that this will be how she dies. Frank killed Dottie and won’t even light a candle at the church without stealing some donation money. It does not get more Shameless than that.

Editor’s Note: The original version of this article was published on January 11, 2015.

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