#have not even emotionally or mentally processed those cases

[moonjellyfishumbrella]

I LOVE READING ACTUALLY I LOVE WRITERS I LOVE THEN THEY CREATE

If you are an ace attorney fan and have finished the main storyline and are waiting for the drop next year (or just dont mind spoilers i guess) you need to read 'and the tree was happy' by zombiekittiez

I love writers and their writing i hope op releases some sort of novel i hope they have and idk it yet this was FANTASTIC. Not to he that person i think this can be annoying at times but like... this is The ace attorney fanfiction, coming from someone whos been reading them since middle school i think. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY JEEZ WOW WOW WOW WOW i feel enlightened

I feel like i have ascended

I was listening to Esperanza Spalding while reading this so this feels biblical honesty

I love being reminded of why i love writing and literary works and AAAAA my heart swelled this was so good

If you're an AA fan you just have to read it its the law and for your own good

[musical-chick-13]

Idk, I just...really hate having a brain/body that won't work. The Condition™ is so bad that I literally cannot focus on ANYTHING, even things that mean a lot to me. I can't string sentences together, doing any kind of standing physical activity for longer than 15 minutes will wipe me out for the rest of the day, and I am SO. TIRED. Sleep doesn't help. Caffeine doesn't help. Meds don't help. All of my labs keep coming back in range, and I just don't understand what's happening. What do I need to do.

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Energy Check~ for wherever you are right now

This was completely unplanned but frankly spirit doesn't give a fuck about my plans. So if this found you, here are some messages you probably need right now-

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pile 1: Ooh.. as I was preparing to start your reading, I saw 11:11 as the Chariot card showed up for you. This. Tells me that you are pretty strongly connected to your divine path right now, which simply means that you're doing something that's keeping you in alignment, sweet pile one! Good job! Keep going down this road because you WILL stumble upon amazing experiences and people! This message is coming through quite strongly. Now, isn't that lovely? Hehe.

Here's the thing, though.. Although you're actually IN alignment with your greatest timeline and life, you seem to be completely UNAWARE of the fact! You might be going through the necessary purging emotionally and/or mentally as a result of this alignment since the "old stuff" has no more room in your new vibration anymore. So, you've probably had to go through some intense endings and/or tower moments in life lately and THIS has left you feeling really, really sad. Maybe even depressed. For some of you, if that's the case, please seek help, sweet soul. It doesn't have to be therapy but even as simple as talking to a trusted loved one, you know? Or even journaling about it could help if you're into it. It seems like you could use a new perspective on the things you're going through right now. I'm sensing that you might be feeling emotionally numb right now too, but that's because you've been doing a lot of emotional processing lately AND IT'S ALL PAYING OFF. I just need you to know that. You just can't see it right now because you're slap dead in the middle of the storm, and I'm looking at it from a bird's eye view, you know?

While you're purging old stuff, I also see you making your way through an old core belief - "I gotta work hard to be deserving of anything because I inherently don't" Or something along those lines. You may have started purging this belief as a result of life showing you that it's simply not something worth keeping alive inside you. Maybe recently, you caught yourself overworking yourself to death only to receive very little in return (in any area of your life - relationships included) and this experience helped you wake up to this unhelpful belief of yours. You're unlearning this belief as we speak. It's not easy though, but I CAN assure you, you're acing it.

If you find yourself worrying too much about anything and everything or simply feeling a general fear, just know that it's a normal reaction to having things uprooted in your life. Life, right now, is asking you to do your best to focus on what's right in front of you because if you do this, the future is guaranteed to sort itself out. I promise.

I love you so much, pile 1. I see all your hard work and am rooting for you SO hard, bro. Love and light.

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Pile 2: Seems like to me that y'all have been STUCK in a particular pattern for a while now, maybe years? For some of you folks reading? Let me spell it out for you what this pattern looks like to me - an imbalance of the mind and heart. Too much mind and too little heart. Maybe none at all.

I can't seem to tap into the root of this imbalance, maybe because it's different for each of you reading, OR maybe it's not relevant to us right now because you can simply begin to address this imbalance as you see it in your day-to-day. But I sense that you're really good at addressing things, so once you're conscious of this pattern going on subtly in the background, running your life, you can really do something about this. This pattern may show up as you struggling with feeling fear, and this is blocking you off to one very important thing fear is here to show us, and that is how to support ourselves. If we are afraid of something we desire and have a healthy relationship with fear, we go for the desire while caretaking our fear. I read a quote the other day, it said "Do that thing you love but if you find that you're scared, then go do it scared." The point I'm trying to make is, fear isn't going to go away on its own, it's you who will simply expand your ability to hold space for it AND your desires equally. When you figure out how to do this, magic will happen in your life. You'll find that your unwillingness to caretake your fear only gave you more things to be afraid of (because, hello, Law Of Attraction *lol*), BUT you'll also find that when you radically start taking responsibility for your fear(s), you'll be able to act from a wiser space and be your full badass self. You'll find that there are so many things you CAN do and so much life you CAN live. Everything you've wanted to start doing in life will start to happen almost seamlessly. It WILL surprise you big time. You're currently making your way through an important part of your healing, and that is to hold yourself in all your glory. To hold all parts of yourself, even the ones that are scared shitless. Once you've integrated this segment of your healing, SO many doors will unlock for you. Sweet soul, you have no clue of JUST HOW MANY. And this… is probably because you manifest with your heart primarily (meaning you feel things deeply and so you unknowingly tap into the frequency of what you want easily) and your fear is keeping you stuck in your head, which means you're only 40% of the full You right now, PRIOR the healing of c. You might even feel it sometimes. You might feel like you're only a shell of a person (been there myself, you're not alone in this!). Listen to that feeling. Your truth lies in there. You're meant to be the 100% you, and I see that you're already halfway there!

I love you so much, pile 2, sending you so much light and love. Hope you find the resources you need to make it through to your new life where you live in more love than fear.

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Pile 3: Man… y'all been fighting for your lives, huh? I see that you may be in the midst of a lot of divinely evoked darkness? Lol, I literally heard that - divinely evoked darkness. Maybe you're going through a dark night of the soul, perhaps? Whatever your're going through though, it seems like you've been hanging on for dear life.

Some good news for you- no matter the circumstances you're in right now (be it good, bad, or terrible), you've been doing all the work necessary to keep your head above water and have been diligently nurturing your own light, positivity, and essence. THAT'S incredible resilience, sweet pile 3, and I'm really proud of you! It's not easy to keep an open heart through bad times, and that's such a grand achievement in my eyes. UGH, BEAUTIFUL.

Your energy SCREAMS transition period vibes. You seem to be neither in your "old" timeline nor in the new one yet. You're sorta hanging in the middle right now. I see the Hanged Man in the third eye as I tell you this. Feels like you're in the void right now, and things just seem… bleh. Boring. Colorless. This is probably because you're already done with the ugly part of the process, "the divine shakeups", the loss, and the purge. Think… the bland but peaceful feeling you feel after having an intense ugly crying session, you know? Yeah, you're energetically there right now. You'll probably be here for a while longer because you've let go of MAJOR stuff, pile 3. Did you let go of people recently, maybe? Or that old bad habit, perhaps? That was the purge, so to speak. And now you're in the aftermath of it all, the uncomfortable but necessary calm.

-Side note: You might've struggled to embody your divine feminine earlier, but the timeline you're entering right now is the exact opposite of that. You might be attracted towards things that will help you nurture your own divine feminine right now. Give into it. Nurture patience, stillness, and compassion for self. It will HOPEFULLY speed up the void period if you consciously take part in it, you know?-

You're quite emotionally intelligent, and it has guided you throughout the whole process, and it also seems like it ain't your first rodeo in the process of proverbial death and rebirth. Good on you because you're doing a real good job keeping your calm through venturing into the unknown. You know what? You remind me of Elsa from Frozen, taking on the unknown like it belongs to her. You are such a queen, omg.

Yep, all that's left to do now is celebrate yourself, pile 3! Try your best to embrace this period, the void, and you'll be on your way to your next happy adventure! Love and light, sweet soul. Thanks for sharing your energy with me today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[crooked-wasteland]

An SA Survivor's Reading of Stolitz

I don't believe that creators should be confined to telling one type of story. The beauty of fiction is to explore worlds, emotions and scenarios that are by definition unreal. It gives a safe space to interact with extremes that we would never necessarily wish to experience in our real lives with the ultimate safeword of no longer engaging with the material.

That being said, as creators, there is an ethical awareness that must be maintained in order to tell stories of things like trauma and abuse. Being alone in a cabin in the woods with a killer, that scenario is not a pervasive subculture in our society. Whereas cases of child abuse, sexual and domestic abuse are not only real, but common. And the complexities of psychological damage that perseveres long after the traumatic events are necessary aspects to telling these stories.

If you are not consciously aware and attentive to the lasting impact these events have, you run up against the horrific possibility of retraumatizing an individual unprepared for the callous invalidation of their experience.

No one should ever be shamed for engaging with media that depicts trauma they themselves may have experienced. For many, engaging in the fiction of it is a way of processing and validating their experience. Frankly saying, if you wish to write about trauma at all, you should be writing for that audience in specific. Otherwise you are simply exploiting the horrors that real people live through and struggle with every day for some cheap drama at the risk of triggering someone whose story you are inadvertently telling.

And much like most therapy speak, the term Triggered has become appropriated and misused to the point of losing all meaning in the lexicon. According to the University of North Carolina, "A trigger is a stimulus that elicits a reaction. In the context of mental illness, "trigger" is often used to mean something that brings on or worsens symptoms. This often happens to people with a history of trauma or who are recovering from mental illness, self-harm, addiction, and/or eating disorders."

The university breaks down the types of triggers as well and gives examples as to what those subcategories mean. I highly recommend that even if you are not the sort to follow up on references, I do recommend going over the article. It offers coping suggestions as well for those who are at risk of becoming triggered and helps refocus the sense of control back to the individual.

With that said, this is where I came across the inspiration for this essay. I completely removed all information for this user because the last thing someone needs when expressing how the misappropriation of abuse triggers them is how it is their fault for being triggered. These are the original tweets this response was in reference to.

As such, I feel the empathetic need to write this essay as a sympathetic reading to this person and others who have experienced SA who find that Stolitz resonates in an undesirable and even harmful way. I think this person deserves to feel seen.

To make the argument that the relationship between Stolas and Blitz isn't fundamentally abusive requires an author-intent reading of the series. It necessitates massive leaps to fill in gaping plot holes that never clarify the story Medrano is intending to tell. This is plainly just a reading of the series as is with all the context that has been physically, actually, shown in the series and that alone.

Throughout the series, Blitz is depicted as emotionally volatile and unpredictable with low self-esteem and crippling loneliness. He is constantly hounding his employees through sexual harassment from a sense of envy over their loving relationship, and infantalizes his twenty-two year old adopted daughter through an abusive dynamic where she ranges from rude to outrightly cruel while he consistently sacrifices any personal boundaries and self-respect.

The relationship between Loona and Blitz in specific feels like a masochistic self-hatred on Blitz's part where he allows himself to be used and abused by a parasitic family member to feel wanted, showing a pure desperation to be desired by someone in any way. Loona is verbally and physically abusive to her adopted father, using terms of endearment like "Dad" as a tactic to control Blitz's behavior, rewarding him when he does something for her benefit and taking it away when she deems him embarrassing or unwanted.

Blitz's tie to Stolas in the main story comes when he is called in a vulnerable time. Hiding from Martha who is hunting him down, he explicitly tells Stolas that now is not a good time to call. Stolas, who has a visual of Blitz's situation, ignores all of it. He is unconcerned about the danger Blitz is in, instead viewing Blitz solely as a sexual object as he offers the trade of the book for sex.

Stolas is more keenly aware of Blitz's situation than even Blitz is aware of. He not only is told that the current moment is not a good time, and Blitz's tense tone portrays a sense of anxiety, but he can physically see Blitz. It exists entirely within reason that he chose this specific moment to call while he knew Blitz was in a difficult position, using the tension to leverage a quick response that would get Stolas his way without needing to intimidate Blitz himself. Using the threat of a third party to pressure compliance from Blitz.

Come Loo Loo Land, the interactions between Blitz and Stolas are simply outright hostile. Blitz actively does not want to have a sexual encounter with Stolas and is even so untrusting of the Goetia that he is repeatedly asserting the boundary that he is not at all interested in sex, which Stolas explicitly mocks by being openly sexually suggestive to him. Everything Stolas has to say to Blitz is steeped in objectified sexuality as Blitz asserts his person, dehumanizing him to the point that Blitz is first and foremost an object of gratification. Even to the point of neglecting and humiliating his daughter, Stolas uses the excuse of spending time with her as a means of leering on Blitz.

In this episode we see Blitz has a history of being overlooked and unappreciated. His act in Loo Loo Land went nowhere and we see the first hints of his failed performance career. Over the course of the series, this hint towards a crippling lack of self esteem masked by an extroverted exterior is reinforced.

In Harvest Moon, Blitz is genuinely flustered when given recognition by Striker. He is quick to devalue his relationship with Stolas because there genuinely isn't a relationship at this point.

After having gone missing for two episodes, Stolas returns, being slightly less sexual and slightly more affectionate. It is a sudden recharacterization, but it is only for this scene. The rest of the episode once again shows how Stolas values Blitz physically in a sexualized manner and claims Blitz through the use of a pet name he repeatedly requests not to be called. In the opening scene, Blitz vocalizes that he "doesn't mind" their arrangement for the book, which could be taken at face value in regards to the first season. He does have the option to reject the agreement at any time and return the book in the context of this episode. It's why, despite still being an abuse of power dynamics overall, the relationship itself doesn't tip over into abuse. Blitz has the same amount of autonomy as Stolas at this time, before the context of season two, he has just as much power to end the agreement.

With the addition of The Circus, this retroactively is a situation of placating one's abuser. Blitz assuring Stolas that he doesn't mind the sex would be a way of asserting Stolas' complete control over the relationship and that Blitz isn't necessarily threatening the status quo by his question.

They don't actually know anything about each other, they aren't friends and don't spend time together outside of their forced meetings. Blitz doesn't know anything about Stolas and questioning the need Stolas has for his book could very well be read as a means of interrogating the agreement as a whole and figuring out why this was the arrangement.

(The argument that Blitz had any opportunity to negotiate things comes from an audience bias. It is probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen put into writing. Blitz doesn't know that he has any leverage in the relationship at all. He doesn't actually know Stolas has any feelings for him. That's kind of the whole point of the hot and cold romance slant that Medrano is trying to replicate.)

This is because the book is not the reason the relationship exists.

Blitz does not instigate sexual conduct, Stolas does by leading Blitz into a private room and locking them both inside with the impression Blitz would have sex with him. Blitz has no choice in the location or the isolation. He was caught trying to illegally break into the home for the explicit purpose of stealing the book. He was caught and is effectively at Stolas' mercy in every sense of the word. Not only is he still alive due to Stolas' whimsy, but if he tries to escape now after being shown this grace he could risk having the guards hunt him down and the second time will most likely not be so kind.

He literally does not know Stolas. They met for a day as a playdate and Blitz spent the whole time manipulating Stolas into facilitating his own robbery. There is no trust between them, there isn't even a relationship. While the doe-eyed pink vignette animated around Blitz shows that Stolas has an attraction to him, Blitz is entirely in the dark about this. Stolas' behavior is merely unpredictable and precarious from his position and limited knowledge.

(Just a side note, the argument that because someone decides to do something must mean they are not afraid is just asinine. Generally speaking, most people who commit crimes are in a state of fight or flight, it is more akin to gambling your actual life. Its a rewards and risks assessment, not a case of being sociopathically unafraid.)

It isn't until Stolas dramatically announces his desire for sex that Blitz realizes he has something that can be used to distract the Prince while he steals the book. And that's the issue with the argument that Blitz is the one willingly escalating the situation: it's not sincere. Throughout the entire sequence, Blitz isn't once sincerely interested in Stolas. He leans into the pretense to gain control of the situation, of which, might I remind you, he has had zero control over up to this point. Not only is he not interested in Stolas, but this is a bid for control from the position of helplessness. This way he is not relying on Stolas' unpredictable behavior, he is reclaiming power in the dynamic by playing into Stolas' desire.

("But Stolas says nevermind and Blitz keeps going!!"

Yeah, because he needs to maintain control of the situation. This is what power dynamics actually look like; there is a two-way push and pull. The only way he has any power is through the lens of sexuality. He needs to keep Stolas interested in him to keep his position. But throughout the scene, he is explicitly depicted as being put off by Stolas. In fact the entire reason he ties Stolas up is because he was becoming too into the act. He is shown to not be sensually performing bondage, he is trying to remove a problem.

And side-side note, I know I said I wouldn't lean into Medrano's intention or explicit dictation on how she demands her show be interpreted, but she was the one who said that The Circus and Loo Loo Land are connected in the timeline and Blitz's hostility in Loo Loo Land reads far more like a man who feels used and taken advantage of. So even the argument that Blitz was an enthusiastic participant is disproven by Medrano's own metacommentary and character interactions.)

And ultimately, it all boils down to that last moment scene. Between willingly having sex with Stolas when he is tied up or the book, Blitz makes for the door to leave. He doesn’t willingly engage in sex with Stolas. Either you can read the scene as a form of pity sex, which in the context of Medrano’s timeline and Loo Loo Land, shows Blitz was not enamored with the encounter or you have to read this as being manipulatively pressured into it. There is no way to argue Blitz has any leverage in the situation and no grounds to argue that it was mutually enjoyed.

That doesn’t even start to cover the fact that all the way to Ozzie’s, Blitz is repulsed by Stolas. When calling, he openly shows that this is something he would rather not be doing. He doesn’t have feelings for Stolas and despite just using the man who is using him, just having to deal with Stolas is distressing for him.

This is not an equal or fair relationship dynamic. It is not a mutual relationship. This is a relationship of self-preservation and coercion. And the fact is, it could have worked with very small changes to The Circus. Having the dynamic be actually mutual would have been a great start, but just properly addressing the actual dynamic and having Stolas take ownership of what he's done, and validating the fact that coercion is sexual abuse. Because out of all the sweeping changes, retcons and inconsistencies, the one aspect that has persevered throughout the show is just how trapped Blitz feels.

In Truth Seekers, Blitz’s hallucination is contradictory in its attempt to be visceral, and that is not inherently a problem. Trying to be abstract, it is normal for people to experience contradictory emotions over something. It makes sense in that way, but it needs reinforcement in the expanded narrative to tell it's story. As such I am just going to give my reading on the sequence based on my narrative and state it as fact.

The clown costume shows that Blitz sees himself as a joke, feeding into his low self-worth that no matter what he does, he is always the clown being laughed at. The murky wasteland is a reflection of his life. Devoid of anything bright or good, it is populated by dead trees and the ground is a quicksand like sludge, showing how he devours the good and extinguishes it in his own life. He kills his own happiness. Moxxie exists as a critical voice Blitz hears, telling him how stupid and awful he is to everyone around him. Blitz rejects his own self-criticism, reaffirming his self destructive victim mentality that appears when faced with the consequences of his own actions.

It's when the characters of Fizzarolli, Verosika and Striker appear that Blitz gives his regrets, insecurities and resentments voice, poorly impersonating the voices of those who saw the real him. Striker mocking Blitz’s need for companionship, how he lies to himself constantly and presents himself as independent and assured when really he sees himself as needy and pathetic.

Fizzarolli adds to it, pointing out Blitz’s failures to make it on his own, however this portion of the series should probably be considered non-canon as the newest episodes established that Fizzarolli and Blitz have not had any contact with each other since the accident. The more important line Fizzarolli says “You're going to die alone”, have been written out of the show. There would have been no time or place for Fizz to have ever spoken this to Blitz.

Then there is Verosika, who brings up Blitz’s self destructive tendencies, showing Blitz’s own abusive behaviors towards characters like Moxxie. It also suggests an explanation to why Blitz tolerates Loona, because her constant rejection of him contradicts his reactionary need to push others away, as well as feeds his self-flagillation.

It is when he endeavors to flee the reflections of the worst parts of himself that he runs into Stolas. Perched atop a pristine staircase of gold, being fanned by two silhouettes of Blitz. This shows the power imbalance in every way. Blitz doesn't even walk up the stairs, but crawls. Himself just a faceless accessory to Stolas’ desires, but everything he has intrinsically tied to the power Stolas' exerts over him. This is shown explicitly by the chains around his hands and neck, Stolas' reeling him in as he bears a grimace of reluctance. It is the most explicit representation of being trapped between two bad decisions. Either he is just the joke, the failure, the asshole, the stupid piece of shit, or he is the pet, the object, the toy. Stolas mentioning Blitz being "afraid to love" is less a suggestion that Blitz has any feelings for Stolas, but instead his psyche convincing himself that the relationship is not so exploitive. That he is not being dehumanized and abused, but on some messed up level he is being wanted and desired, which is better than the wastes below.

Maybe one could say that Blitz is being elevated out of his situation for how the feathers removed the costume and sludge, essentially wiping him clean of his worst self, providing a sense of safety. But he only has this opportunity because of Stolas, and it isn't free as shown by the feathers also becoming the chains binding him. Because at the end of the day, Stolas isn't the prize at the end of the climb to self actualization, the stairs belonged to him in the first place. To escape the horror-filled wasteland below, Blitz has to play by the rules of the owner of the stairs.

And ultimately, that isn't a story that is off-limits.

The Stolas apologist argument is why the depiction of this dynamic is triggering and harmful, not the fact that it exists in the media. Just owning the scenario and having Stolas acknowledge that he has sexually abused Blitz would have gone a long way. Instead, Medrano and the fandom have insistently represented this victim-blaming interpretation where Blitz is responsible for his own abuse. And that will never be okay. This goes all the way back to my "Not All Victims are Survivors" post. Blitz is the victim in this and his bad behaviour and own abusive actions directly correspond to the fact that he is a victim with a victim mindset. He actively lives in the middle of his abuse and has formed maladaptive strategies through manipulation, harassment, verbal abuse, and self harm. These do not remove his victim status. There is no such thing as a "Perfect Victim". And he should not have to be any sort of way in order to have that experience validated. And the issue that is at the heart of this show is that the narrative and the fanbase require a victim to be framed as delicate and hapless to circumstance with a soft and gentle personality to be a victim. To come out of abuse aggressive and harsh with sharp edges is framed as being less valid. But this outcome is normal and it's a difficult battle to work on oneself to feel safe again. It's absolutely a story worth telling.

But you first have to be interested in telling a story.

[chaedomi]

Hi I just found your blog and you are so talented, your writing is so immersive you really have a gift, I was wondering if you could write for some yandere oshi no ko? Maybe with the mc being a very famous model, platonic or romantic is fine

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋 ✦ onk

fem!reader x aqua, ruby, kana, minami, frill, akane (yandere / separate), can be read as platonic or romantic, hints toward spoilers in manga (and anime for those who have reached a certain point), implied stalking, unhealthy relationships. ꨄ — masterlist

YOU WERE pretty and sensational. You had a diverse career that allowed you to explore different types of styling, keeping the job interesting. You were also a huge influence and an inspiration to many, encouraging them to pursue a career in modeling and to experience various brands of fashion and cosmetics.

However, what attracted people to you the most was not your career, but rather your unique personality and your unparalleled charisma. It was one-of-a-kind, something that would leave people aching for more… similar to a former starry-eyed idol. It's no surprise that you have a ton of admirers, and that includes the odd ones as well.

AQUAMARINE HOSHINO

Let's be real. Model or not, unless you were of use to him or acquainted with his sister, AQUAMARINE would see no necessary need to interact nor get to know you. Why should he care about someone who will eventually fall from stardom?

But, in this case, it was different. Very much so. It was as though time stopped for a split moment when you both passed each other in the school hallways. Faster than his mind could process, his hand was already reaching out to grasp your arm as if he were to let you go, you would disappear for an eternity. Unusual of him. After you overcame your brief surprise from the sudden contact, you offered him a polite smile, eyes twinkling with unspoken mischief… to which he gawked at like an idiot.

How was it possible for you to possess the same charm as 'she' did…? He’s so stunned and in disbelief that he’s incapable of constructing a coherent sentence for some time. No investigations were made to confirm his assumptions… he was THAT convinced. You best believe he made the effort to become associated with you. It wasn’t as though he was desperate to attach himself to you, you noticed, but somehow, he always found a way to be around you, and if on the correct setting, it was beyond unnerving. You shrugged your shoulders at his abnormal behavior, justifying it with a “you’ve handled worse.” By the time it is finally drilled through your thick skull that hey, ‘something is wrong,’ Aqua would have fully wedged himself into your life. Good luck trying to avoid him…

There is an annoying obstacle in the way… namely your career as a model. Not to mention, the large fanbase you have gained over the years. So much as it was very tempting to find shady methods to force you to void your career entirely, the problems that can arise afterward will be more than problematic.

As said, because you remind him of a certain individual, his extreme tendencies will begin to lay on you. Just because he cannot end your career does not mean he cannot become overbearing. The fear of seeing you injured or harmed in any way replays a very unpleasant memory in his head…

He constantly monitors what you do, and whom you choose to interact with, and makes decisions that seem appropriate for you. It's as though you’ve lost your right to free will…

He's aware of how wrong it is. But, to him, it feels like a second chance, to lift some of the burden that he has carried on his shoulders for a while, to rid of the guilt that was slowly destroying him mentally and emotionally. Well, at the very least, he didn't convince himself you were 'her'. Even though there were some strong resemblances in characteristics, it was still easy to nitpick many differences (to him).

RUBY HOSHINO

There's without a doubt, Aqua was only familiar with your existence due to RUBY. A walking and living example of a true stan and diehard fan; god, she was obsessed with you. Magazines, products, advertisements, brands, merch, anything that has your face plastered on it, she’s out to grab it all… what she can afford, by the way. Your hair! Your lips! Your EYES! How can someone be this attractive!? Forget Model… someone put you in a museum for you to be admired by millions, quick!

As you can tell, Ruby has quite an attachment to you. And this is her without the yandere tendencies included. It was terrifying and had the potential to creep out anyone unfortunate enough to listen to one of her passionate rants. Other than her fawning over you for your glorious visage, there was another reason as to why she acted the way she did. You were just like 'her', the way you spoke, the way you moved, everything was down to par. It filled her mind with memories of 'her' helping her cope through dark times, and you were too doing the same, distracting her from the negativity that threatened to cloud her mind. At some point… she fully believed that you were 'her' in another body. You just had to be! Explain the similarities! It took thorough reasoning for her to understand that the possibilities were low. You were around her age, so by the time 'she' passed away, it would have been too late for that to happen.

On the day of school, it came as a big shock to her seeing so many famous faces inside the premises. But the biggest one of them all was when you walked inside her classroom all smiles, apologizing to the teacher for your tardiness. Shit… was she actually inside a dream right now!? She pinched and twisted her skin for good measure. Nope! She was alive and conscious! There’s no room for argument, she most definitely did snap a couple of pictures from where she seated, behind you. Somehow, she mustered up the courage to converse with you after class, falling deeper into her admiration for you.

Unlike her brother who saw your career as a nuisance, she fully supports you to continue all the way! In addition to that, it's a massive stroke to the ego that she had the privilege to bask in your presence while the majority had limitations. Do you know how many people would kill just to breathe the same air as you, The Loveable Model?

Turns out, Ruby can make for a dangerous yandere. Once Ruby puts her mind into something, the results made afterward are so impressive that it’s scary… But, it’s not like she’ll ever need that to happen, as long as you vow to stay by her side, she’ll make no drastic attempts to prevent herself from losing something as she previously did.

KANA ARIMA

For KANA, at first, it was an in-between… Although it was not to the extent of Ruby, she was a fan of yours… you were just too entrancing! You’re the reason why she went through many style phases, buying useless shit she didn’t need, wearing expensive brand clothing that you featured in… you get the main idea. Sooner or later she had to stop as she noticed the money she made from her child career quickly diminishing the more she allowed herself to indulge in her fan side for you. Begrudgingly she put a halt to it, still buying your magazines every now and then.

The other half is completely sour when she sees how whipped Aqua is for you. (she totally doesn’t question if Aqua’s attachment to you was romantic or not…) She kind of gets it; your personality, your looks, and your status as a famous model, you were a ten. But, there was a difference between love and admiration, so you were some sort of rival to her.

Fear not, Kana gets past that, clinging onto you instead as she got to know you in person. It was bound to happen. Kana was already ‘under your charm’, so it was only a matter of time before that admiration morphed into an obsession. Kana can be very clingy and manipulative. Manipulative in the sense that she uses her sad-sob backstory to ground you by her side. The majority of her supporters are now her anti-fans, she doesn’t have her parents around, and now you, the idol she looks up to, want to leave her too!? You wouldn’t do that to your lovely supporter, right?

Kana wouldn’t care about your career too much, she understands what it’s like to really love your job, so she doesn’t complain a lot. As long as you treat her kindly and remember her, she is content. Please.

MINAMI KOTOBUKI

It's like, the calmer the individual is, the uglier their hidden side will be. And MINAMI will not be excluded from that logic. There is no doubt that Minami was affiliated with you due to her status as a pin-up model. On some weird, rare occasions, you would find yourself as her partner for a certain aesthetic for a photoshoot. So, yes… you knew each other to an extent.

What you couldn't wrap your head around was the fact you always felt a sense of unease around her. She out of all people. Why? She's an absolute sweetie, gentle and pure at heart. She always compliments you on how you look and praises you for the work you put in toward modeling. She goes on further to say she can see why people adore you so much.

There's nothing for you to worry about… except for the glaringly obvious issue that her eyes seem to follow whatever movement you make. It could be the twitch of a finger or any minority; glance to the side and there are pink doe eyes already staring holes into your face. Or when you're seated in the courtyard and just so happen to look at the corner nearby and see Minami there, who smoothly brushes it off with a friendly wave.

It was fine to you, till you began to see those pink doe eyes in the more uncanny places, namely restaurants you're in, or your job… you could swear you saw those pink eyes somewhere inside your house one time. But as you blinked, they vanished. As you take a peek at Minami who catches your gaze and laughs brightly, you can't help but wonder if it was just your imagination and you were overreacting…

FRILL SHIRANUI

Hmm… This one is a bit tricky. You see, FRILL doesn't tend to expose much of an expression or a reaction. You never know what's going through her head or how she feels about something till she bluntly puts it into words.

She's also affiliated with you because of your careers, (the magazines of hers and you are always trendy and are the most popular) so you weren't awkward or tense around her. It's just… Why is she looking at you like that? It's similar to Minami in the sense her eyes never leave you, but there is a layer of coldness in her gaze, in addition to the slight furrow of her eyebrows.

You thought she hated you. For what? You didn't know. It couldn't be career-wise, she had a great number of followers and need not be concerned about you overthrowing her. She didn't come across as the petty type either.

What did you choose to do about the matter? Simple. You approached her with a blinding smile, getting straight to the point. That day you got to witness a sight you'd never think you'd receive an opportunity to.

Embarrassment. She got embarrassed and the light blush that crept its way to her cheeks had you staring in astonishment. It was out of character for her, much more the difficulty she had to fumble out a proper sentence.

You just left for your next class as the bell rang because wow, that was unexpected. It was cute to watch, seeing Frill become so soft-spoken around you. Who knew that a high-ranked celeb like her looked up to and admired you too!?

You're so amused by her change of personality that you don't notice the icy glares she shoots toward people daring enough to take another step closer to you…

AKANE KUROKAWA

Another person who viewed you as a rival due to how whipped Aqua was for you. It didn’t matter whether Aqua’s attachment to you was platonic or romantic, the undivided attention Aqua gave you was something AKANE dreamed of having. So, when the chance arrived for her to develop a new character for the reality show she was featuring, she jumped at the opportunity to become what Aqua desired in a person. Spending hours studying your character, she aspired to impersonate you. Sadly, it didn’t work as well as she thought it would. Of course, she could never compare to you and your charisma. You were beautiful, very famous… there are just some things you cannot copy.

Initially, it was disappointment over Aqua’s lackluster reaction to her change, after all, she thought this a good way to pay him in return for what he did for her. Later, as she began to develop romantic feelings for him, the disappointment morphed into frustration. She felt like a loser all over again… No effort will make him adore her as she wants him to… So, she gave up.

Strangely enough, you managed to weasel your way into her heart in place of Aqua. She didn’t know what to make of it at first, frozen with a pale blush on her face when you praised her for her work. The way her heart thudded against her chest… she didn’t even react like that to the boy she so claimed to like. Perhaps he wasn’t the one she should waste her time on…

Even though Akane is considered one of the more ‘dangerous’ yanderes with her high intellect and analyzing skills, she’s pretty much harmless. In the nicest way I can say it, Akane is akin to a loyal devotee of some sort… As in whatever you desire, Akane will try her best to provide it, impersonation or not.

Akane is familiar with your works (god, BLESS the photographers for capturing your elegant essence in the most perfect angles), and is amazed, but she's not that into it??? Maybe if you were to branch out into her area of acting, the hype would be stronger… That doesn't mean you should stop in any way though! Continue to pose and look pretty while she appreciates (read as obsesses over) the sight. However, if your career were to ever… become an obstacle between you both, THAT will get her FULL attention.

BONUS: AI HOSHINO

In this scenario, let's pretend you were around the age when AI was still alive. Let's think about this. Suppose you had a terrible childhood without correct familial guidance, or experienced situations that resulted in you being unable to feel and express love properly.

Now, imagine you came across a person who made you feel the very emotions that you desperately sought out. Would you want to distance yourself from that person, especially when they granted you something you've been seeking for so long?

The answer is no, and that's exactly what Ai did. By far, the worst one out there. She isolates you, she breaks your bonds with other people, and when you try to voice your complaints about her actions, she has the audacity to play innocent, baffled by your accusations.

A master with her words too, you would point fingers at her, the bad guy, and somehow, the argument would end with you apologizing and her rubbing your back gently as a large smile spreads on her face.

Surprisingly, she was the one who encouraged you to pursue a career in the entertainment industry. You agreed, thinking she was being normal for a change, but then later found out it was for her to spend time with you without consequences… Who would complain about two famous celebs hanging out with each other!? Not that she had a problem maintaining a lie, she just wanted the easier route.

It was very shameful that you felt a sense of satisfaction over the announcement of her funeral. Too bothered by the things she did while she was alive to you, the news deserved a celebration instead.

You lived a few more years of your life in peace. However, the day both of her children arrived on your front doorstep, it made you realize that Ai had no intentions of leaving you alone, allowing her children to replace the role she owned in your life. Even in death she still found a way to trouble you…

©chaedomi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[haggishlyhagging]

Another way to solve the paradox of depressed wives reporting their marriages as happy is to view the socialization process as one which "deforms" them in order to fit them for marriage as now structured. We cut the motivational wings of young women or bind their intellectual feet, all the time reassuring them that it is all for their own good. Otherwise, no one would love them or marry them or take care of them. Or, if anyone did, they would be unhappy and feel caged if they had wings and could not fly, or unbound feet and could not run.

There may have been a time when this made sense. It might well be asked if it still does. But whether it makes sense or not, we are quite remarkably successful. We do not clip wings or bind feet, but we do make girls sick. For to be happy in a relationship which imposes so many impediments on her, as traditional marriage does, a woman must be slightly ill mentally. Women accustomed to expressing themselves freely could not be happy in such a relationship; it would be too confining and too punitive. We therefore "deform" the minds of girls, as traditional Chinese used to deform their feet, in order to shape them for happiness in marriage. It may therefore be that married women say they are happy because they are sick rather than sick because they are married.

There are some researchers who believe that this is indeed the case. They note that our standards of mental health for men are quite different from those for women, that if we judged women by the standards which we apply to men they would show up as far from well. A generation ago, Terman could judge women who were conformist, conservative, docile, unaggressive, lacking in decisiveness, cautious, nontolerant to be emotionally stable and well balanced. They were the women who had achieved an adjustment standard of mental health. They fitted the situation they were trained from infancy to fit. They enjoyed conformity to it. They were his "happily" married women.

But modern clinicians see them in a different light. Inge K. Broverman and her associates, for example, ask whether a constellation of traits which includes "being more submissive, less independent, less adventurous, more easily influenced, less aggressive, less competitive, more excitable in minor crises, having their feelings more easily hurt, being more emotional, more conceited about their appearance, less objective"—a constellation of traits which a set of clinicians attributed to mature adult women—isn't a strange way of "describing any mature, healthy individual." These researchers conclude that we have a double standard of mental health, one for men and one for women. We incorporate into our standards of mental health for women the defects necessary for successful adjustment in marriage.

We do our socializing of girls so well, in fact, that many wives, perhaps most, not only feel that they are fulfilled by marriage but even hotly resent anyone who raises questions about their marital happiness. They have been so completely shaped for their dependency and passivity that the very threat of changes that would force them to greater independence frightens them. They have successfully come to terms with the conditions of their lives. The do not know any other They do not know that other patterns of living might yield greater satisfactions, or want to know. Their cage can be open. They will stay put.

-Jessie Bernard, The Future of Marriage

[yannaryartside]

Claire still needs to see the worst of Carmen

At times, it feels like the Carmen Claire felt in love with and the Carmen the audience knows are two different people.

Seriously, for all their cute scenes in s3, and for all the talk about her being peace, at this point, sydcarmy not happening will be a mild disappointment compared to how enraged I am gonna be if this show makes Claire's presence enough to "calm" "appease" or "resolve" all of Carmy's demons. I am sorry, but no, just no.

The show may make Carmy quit cooking to say that he is leaving the "reason" for his outrage and trauma. Or they could make him accept her love and approach new challenges with her "peace" by her side. But that will automatically destroy all nuance and thematic coherence in your show.

There is no relationship you can have that can "appease" years of repressed trauma. That just doesn't work like that. There are plenty of people involved in toxic relationships who once thought they would be the reason or motivation for their partner's healing journey.

I also understand that we have different sides and our partners may not see them all. It may be our intention they don't see the worst of us. But that may also mean that you only know how to emotionally deal with the parts of your partner you know about. It could mean that you are afraid of ever showing true vulnerability or reaching an understanding. Whatever I have read about relationships that move past severe mistakes/issues (cheating, secrets, addiction, etc.), there is always an emphasis on the couple talking and processing their feelings and fears about the situation, having a true understanding of what happened and why, and with the use professional help. There are cases where none of those things work because sometimes new ways of thinking need to be reached in order for any relationship to move forward.

They have told us about Claire calming Carmy's panic attacks (Carmy tells it, even if it is Sydney that calms one later and on multiple occasions) and Claire lovingly touching his scars. But there is no guidance, and at some point, there is also a lack of patience. For example, she got mad after he asked her if she was okay. But there has not been talk about the "ugly" stuff. He doesn't talk about the bad parts of his relationship with Michael. He doesn't talk about Chef David. At this point, of all the show's characters, Syd is the only one who caught a glimpse/idea of what happened. (Man, I really need Syd and Carmy talking about it).

What I am trying to say is that there needs to be guidance. If ClaireCarmy is endgame, there needs to be therapy involved, and Claire needs to know about the abuse, the one he suffered and the one he inflected. It would be even better if she got to witness it at least once. Otherwise, I am never gonna believe she can be with Carmen in the long haul. What happens if he gets triggered by something else in the future and directs one of his rage episodes to her? (which is extremely likely; it doesn't matter how much therapy you take or time passes, mental health can be like that).

There is a reason there is the council for military spouses (to put an example); if you are gonna be in a relationship with someone who has experienced severe trauma, you need to know what you are getting yourself into. You need to know what is happening to your partner (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and how to deal with it.

[elicathebunny]

HOW TO REDUCE MALADAPTIVE DREAMING.

(suggestion post)

I have actually experienced this since the age of around 9 or 10 years and only managed to reduce and basically almost get rid of it after 5 or 6 years. I am no doctor or professional, so all of this is just by experience mixed with online research.

WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING?

Maladaptive daydreaming is a mental health issue that causes a person to lose themselves in complex daydreams. These daydreams are usually a coping mechanism for other mental health conditions or circumstances. It's common — but not required — for people who have this to have a history of childhood trauma or abuse.

SYMPTOMS:

Extensive, sometimes compulsive, absorption in fantasy for several hours a day

Inability to stop daydreaming

Having very detailed fantasies, including plot lines and characters

Having real-life reactions to fantasies, like facial expressions, body movements, or verbalizations

Difficulty concentrating or focusing on other things

Sleep problems (especially falling asleep)

Replacing human interaction

The urge to continue fantasizing when interrupted

In some cases, maladaptive daydreaming can also be characterized by the need for additional stimulation, which can be expressed through extensive book-reading, watching films, or gaming.

TRIGGERS:

some of the triggers may include listening to music on headphones, watching movies, and hearing specific conversation topics.

In addition to processing trauma, other causes of maladaptive daydreaming include:

Wish fulfillment

Entertainment (regulating boredom or isolation)

Regulating distress

MY EXPERIENCE: I would spend hours upon hours with storylines that I have had for years. Those stories gave me comfort and I would get lost in the experience of daydreaming. I would even put on music to put myself deeper in my thoughts and would get irritated if someone ruined my thought process by speaking to me. I realised it was a problem when I began to randomly fall into my daydreams without much control. Simple thinking turned into detailed storylines and I would constantly seem lost in thought and lose track of time. This obviously isn't helpful when you have important things to do when you need to focus. I would try to stop daydreaming but would always catch myself doing it because it become normal to me. All the characters and scenarios in my head represented me parts of me that I wish I was in real life, or even things I wanted to happen in my life. Sometimes the dreams happened so frequently that I couldn't differentiate between my memories and dreams. Before I acknowledged it as a problem I never actually wanted to get rid of it, such a big part of me would be lost. I had been daydreaming for such a long time that I became emotionally attached to the characters I had made.

WHAT HELPED ME:

Doing things that take up a lot of brain power and time: e.g. Doing a workout, Dancing, or Solving a difficult equation.

This gives you 0 time to even think about anything, let alone daydream. Go out with your friends, and force yourself into situations that require you to use your full attention. Because I never really went out much or did anything frequent enough to take up my day, I had too much time to myself and became stuck in my own head. Doing things and picking up extracurriculars, ANYTHING will help.

Because I am no longer at home as much as I used to and interact/learn new skills much more than I did before. I simply do not have time to be in my own head, I forced myself to learn to get out of my head and achieve the things I would daydream about.

I am now engaging in improving myself instead of dreaming about the version of myself/life I wanted so badly. Those dreams and characters were just glamorised versions of deep-rooted emotions I had left without facing them. Uncovering the true meaning of why I daydream and the details of the things I was daydreaming about will help you get out of the daze.

NOTES I'VE FOUND ON QUORA:

ONE:

Open up. Speak about it to others. Express yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You need not share your daydreams, just share that you daydream. It's okay.

Write your daydreams down, or type them out… whatever. Get them out of you to have a better look. They are trying to tell you something about yourself. Have you ever noticed that you can't completely control your daydreams? And when you do try to change something critical in your plot it just doesn't “feel right”?

Boil them down to mere feelings. Strip away all the illusory layers of good looks, grand mansions, heroic acts and so on. The truth lies in key moments where the characters feel something deeply for each other. Find those feelings, and question the difference between you and your characters. Ask what is blocking you from experiencing them for yourself.

Realize that you are the reality, not your characters. If you imagine a nobleman or a beautiful girl, it is your nobility and beauty that you impart to those. All your characters are merely objects animated by the light of your imagination and feelings.

Understand that all your daydreams have nothing to do with others, and everything to do with you, and your relationship with yourself. When you realize this, you stop comparing them with your real-world relationships and start relating them to various aspects of yourself.

Know that when you successfully come out of this, you will actually not lose the ability to daydream or run out of feelings to pour into your imagination. It is just that their purpose will have been served, and you will not resort to daydreaming again out of lack or compulsion. You may at any point daydream again and even use it as a tool to know what your Soul is trying to tell you. Yet, you will realize that a moment of self-awareness is more rewarding than a lifetime of daydreams.

TWO:

Here are some serious tips to avoid them:

First of all, make sure you really want to get rid of this, because a lot of MDers get emotionally attached to their imaginary characters.

Disable /avoid the triggers. Block YouTube if you have to. Those websites you visit. The images saved on your computer - delete them. Plenty of apps for that.

This might be rude, but start avoiding the topics or the friends who keep discussing these topics.

Get busy doing something else - take up a hobby, meet new people. Try to stay in public places or with other people. Plenty to do in life other than dreaming.

Avoid that one music/ song that acts as a trigger.

DO I STILL MD? Yea sometimes, but now It is an okay amount. It doesn't consume my life anymore.

[aemiron-main]

kept awake by the fact that mike didn’t even TRY and hit the water when he stepped off the cliff at the quarry. like he didn’t even try. he just stepped off the edge. he didn’t even leap or run. he just stood there and finally stepped off, as if he’d been on the edge for awhile, both literally/physically and metaphorically/mentally.

like what was it that Powell and Callahan said about Joyce in season 1? Yknow, the only other person alongside Mike who believed Will was still alive and therefore they’re paralleled to eachother in that way and likely other ways? Oh right, they said:

“Joyce? About one step from falling off the edge.”

“She’s been a few steps for awhile now, hasn’t she?”

Just like Mike. Mike literally at the quarry was one step away from falling off the edge (he STEPPED OFF, FELL OFF, he didn’t jump, just like how Joyce has been a “few steps” from “falling off” the edge), but stood there for a fair while/walked up to it and was literally “a few steps away for awhile” from it. this applies not only physically to Mike but also mentally/emotionally. It took so little to make Mike step off the edge because mentally he’d already been on that edge for awhile, already been a “few steps from the edge.”

like do we really think this specific wording related to Joyce’s grief and depression is just coincidental in how it aligns exactly with Mike’s actions? That they chose to write those lines in that specific way for fun? That they chose to have Mike STEP off the edge instead of jump off because they were in a silly goofy mood? Do you think that they connected Mike’s actions to Joyce’s grief over Will via that quote and then ALSO had mike step off at the EXACT same spot where Will was though to have died all accidentally?? Because the duffers tripped and dropped that subtext in there? NO! It’s deeper than Dustin’s baby teeth for Mike, deeper than the bullies. It’s about grief and loss and depression and Mike’s self-sacrificing but also self-loathing nature and his difficulty with processing loss and strange tendency to both catastrophize AND be good in a crisis. (hint: he’s probably so good in crises BECAUSE of how his brain catastrophizes and goes to the worst case scenario, because it means that he’s more ready for that worst case scenario. but it also leads to him being READY to do ‘worst case scenario’ things like stepping off of a cliff to his death.)

Michael “‘See? Physics!’ in s3” Wheeler very likely knew that he wouldn’t hit the water with the way he ‘jumped’ (key point: he didn’t jump, he stepped off) He Knew. It was never just about the baby teeth.

[ournachojesus]

Hello, this is a Death Note time loop AU. Light and L are stuck in a loop, it starts with Light’s death in the manga. They are the only ones that remember the loops. After the loops start instead of it ending after both of them are dead it only requires one of them to die to reset. What I talk about at some points will be pretty dark (murder, torture, abuse, etc). Not all in this post (does include some of that already) but this AU in general. Since it will involve a lot on how their mental health declines and along with their already… morally interesting self’s I explore how they behave. This is my warning and I’ll make a warning for each post for this.)

Light and L are stuck in a limbo in terms of the Kira case. If either dies they both reset. It's a spiral of them both sometimes playing the game they did but on a much higher level on some cycles or on sight beating the shit out of eachother. First time and second time is obviously different, third to tenth time they work together, after twenty times it breaks down into the spiral. Once they hit loop fifty is when they finally show more obvious signs of breaking. Light is unavoidably killed by Ryku and L is just doomed by the actions of those around them. The death bells ring for both of them but after Light dies and the first reset happens, they no longer have to wait for the other. No loneliness in being the one alive or the one dead. Locked even further into this relationship of only being able to understand eachother. They are smart but not emotionally so (manipulation isn't the same as emotional intimacy or empathy), the resets make things far worse.

Some resets further down the line L just straight up kidnaps Light (before Kira suspects are even chosen) and keeps him till the death bells ring. Like, this would be one of the more psychologically more dangerous situations during the cycles. Along with Light's 'puppeteering phase' where he keeps using the death note on many loops to make L do things against his will then killing him. Both involve torture of taking the free will and autonomy of the other. Something the really messes with both of them since they crave to be atop things. To be able to understand and move the situation in their favor. In both incidents it’s at a time when both individually have breaking points. Since the other is basically burned out to the extreme due to cycles they can’t even use logic to figure out the why when these things happen. Other people? Sure, easy as pie. Eachother? Nope. Can’t get a read. That similar thought process thing they have has no way of happening when it comes to trying and understanding their own feelings.

They are both immoral and shattered characters. They weren't broken in the begging, just already in many pieces and no one took the proper time with either of them to actually make either of them have some emotionally healthy habits. Born with the need for a little more help and no one helped them. Intelligent children are just assumed to be more mature than their age. Regular children are unfairly expected to understand norms and the world when they’re just basically learning from scratch from everything around them, how do you think adults treat intelligent kids then? Pushing them harder, supporting them less. Light and L I don’t expect to act like everyone else, what I’m saying is that they lack empathy for other people a lot of the time because they weren’t given enough attention when being taught that. Kindness is something they think their both don’t, L with his work and Light with being ‘God’. The perception of kindness is warped. Sorry about that rant, back to the AU.

So, ya. It’s a burning pit of corpses in terms of how it goes down. I can go into more detail on the two incidents but I’d do it on another post if people wanted that.

Misa finds out basically everytime, like more people notice depending on how careless both of the boys are in that loop but Misa just figures it out each time. Rem helps with some of those times but it’s majority of Misa doing the heavy lifting. Why? Misa isn’t dumb and she has great luck. Luck and her general genius she already had when it came to interacting with people. Misa is a lost soul who depends her happiness on other people, I don’t know how she got this unfortunate codependency need from (probably some trauma). Anyway, she wants to help them but…

Light is mad, eventually L is to. It’s a lot of frustration of Misa not being apart of their loops but constantly finding out and doing similar things (aka the solutions she proposes or what she does to help. Reminding her becomes a hard task for them both with how things in their minds start to fall apart and her small comforts are numb since at some point they only feel like the only real people). They are trapped in a way where if they keep coming across something that doesn’t help then it just drives them mad. This would probably lead to a couple loops of them doing something horrible (like criminally so) to Misa and either Rem gets their asses or Misa’s good luck manifesting in another way.

Light and L would at some point do something to eachother (this means during the incidents since I left that vague and whatever other things) or other people like Misa. To highly intelligent people with crumbling sanity, shit morals, and highly messed up feelings/relationships? They are going to do things worse than just killing people. Being killed isn’t the worse thing someone can do to you.

About the real people thing, when you are the only ones that can change and grow? It feels like everyone else is an actor or NPC. While things can change for those around them based on their actions, no one remembers and the only reasons these new things happen is because of how the boys act. This wouldn’t seem super bad since you may be thinking I see L and Light as to people that don’t care. No, they do. They just have a hard time with it. It hurts and they don’t understand why. Their families (or people I’d say are close enough with them to be called family) can’t help, will never change with the, and are growing further from them as they start to lose the memories they had before the loops since it’s getting harder to keep everything in check with how long it’s going on for. Their emotional state also affects their memories. At some points they just huddle together, no crying or speaking. Just cuddling.

The longest they live is on the day Light originally dies, but getting L to the point is hard. Cause after the day he originally dies they had a hard time making plans on his survival. In later loops it’s not as bad.

At the end of the loops, what the ending would be? An end to the loops… I have two/three ideas on that but I’d need to see. I want to better organize the events that would happen, their mental health declines, and some other things. Picking an ending now when I’m still trying to figure out how Light becomes not a sexist? I need my details figured out first!!

Hope whoever reads this long AU idea post enjoys it. Posting more is unsure for me.

[darklinaforever]

Tyler Galpin :

Good. I'm going for it. With Tyler, we are sure a teenager who had a lot of problems in his life. The trauma of his mother's death, his father's neglect, etc. Yes, we know that he was not a child at heart, friends with the guys from the world of pilgrims, massacring Xavier's fresco. But he went to a recovery center after that, visibly moving away from his old associates afterwards.

That's where Laurel came in.

She targeted him, taking advantage of his solitude, his insecurities, and his need for attention, gaining his trust by telling him the truth about his mother, unleashing the Hyde in him. At first he was scared, so she chained him up in the cave, abused him physically, mentally and emotionally until he obeyed her, injecting him with I don't know what product, enslaving him, she becoming his master. God, she saw him naked, tied up, freaked out and scared. Total vulnerability.

She refers to herself as his "mom" and has frankly frightening gestures of "affection" towards him, stroking his hands and face. In the café flashback scene, it definitely felt like flirting. It was knowingly abused, let's not be afraid of the word groomed, would be more correct.

Tyler couldn't remember what he was doing at first, not understanding what happened to him. However, he also tells Wednesday that he came to enjoy killing.

But is this really the case?

We're sure someone's absolutely fucked up psychologically. So, did he really end up enjoying doing all this? Or did Laurel convince him he liked it? Has he convinced himself to preserve himself? Give himself a modicum of control in a system where he had no choice anyway? (Because yes, let's remember that in any case, the master controls the monster) Has he gone mad?

Or, (and most likely to me) is it just the Hyde talking? Does Tyler have two personalities?

We all know that Hyde comes after all from Jekyll and Hyde. The duality between good and evil. We are also told that his mother was probably bipolar, and the doubt as to whether she really was, besides being a Hyde, is kept. (so maybe Tyler had other mental issues before Laurel arrived and she made them worse)

When Tyler reveals the truth to Wednesday, tears gradually fill his eyes, it is already completely the case when he whispers in his ear, all the more visible when he raises his head. You can see that he is holding back his tears. For those who say he's just putting on the nice guy mask, it doesn't make sense, the tears are progressive and start when he talks about the murders. Also, when he leaves, on the contrary, his face is not sad, but neutral. (I even think he has a little smile at one point) Only against Wednesday did he look so sad. Nobody else. Because yes, he looks sad. The interest if he reveals to him to be a monster? There is no more manipulation in play at this time.

This scene terribly gives the impression that two personalities overlap and clash, not that we are being revealed to a big bad manipulator in my opinion, sorry.

Either way, Tyler's case is clear. He is above all a victim. Someone who needs to be psychologically treated, even though he ended up "liking" committing these murders, since in any case, he was formatted to be this murderer by Laurel. I'm sick of seeing people spit on his character, saying he's just a freak psycho, when Laurel is literally there and the show is very explicit about what she did to him. How can someone think he is completely in control of his condition when he says he likes to kill? Even if it came to this result, you have to think about the whole phsycological process behind it.

Also the idea that Tyler has completely manipulated Wednesday does not pass in my opinion, already, just with this scene, but even more so with episode 1. Tyler was ready to help Wednesday leave town. There was no reason for that, even for Laurel's plan. When Wednesday asks him why he would agree to help him leave town for free, he replies that at least one of them can go, as if something is holding him back. I'm sure he didn't know Laurel's plan yet, it wouldn't make sense otherwise to agree to help Wednesday get out of town. Wanting a romantic relationship with Wednesday isn't a necessity for Laurel's plan either, like, really not. Maybe he just liked the idea of making a marginal suffer? Unlikely for me. The effort Tyler showed on their first date, and the detail he put into it, is obvious. It's way too much for someone who just plays comedy. Decorating the crypt, the choice of film, or the fact that he carefully observed her reactions throughout.

And to anyone who says Wednesday could never be with Tyler because he killed people… how shall I put it. The fact that he's killing people isn't Wednesday's issue. The problem is WHO he killed, or at least who he tried to go after, namely people she liked. But beyond that, with Tyler's situation and if he's showing any regrets, I think she could easily forgive him. We're talking about a girl who was tossed piranas into her high school swimming pool as revenge for her brother's bullies. She was even disappointed that she had failed to kill them. She admits to having sociopathic tendencies, worthy of a serial killer. She tells Tyler that she would have done much worse than mugging Xavier and ruining his mural and that she isn't judging him. She also had Xavier accused of murder, without real evidence, and was completely ready to torture Tyler. She adores her Uncle Fester, who finds having a necrophilia bent an awesome quality, and who apparently served time in prison for eating Boy Scouts. Knowing that in the movie, Morticia says they like to reap themselves from those who would like to submit them, apparently the motto of the Addams family, I think this reference to cannibalism is not just a joke, even for the series.

Also, yes, Wednesday genuinely liked / love Tyler. No one can say otherwise. She was intrigued by him from episode 1. She went to the ball with him in episode 4, was planning to kiss him back when he tried in the crypt, is the one who ended up kissing him the first, and most obviously, she smiled at him. Not sketches like she had with other characters, but a real sweet smile. The truest we've seen after the one she gave to her uncle and which was huge by comparison, I grant you. But Tyler is the only person after Fester with whom she has sincerely, unambiguously or restrained, smiled.

Ah and there is also the fact that she says:

Of course the first boy I kiss would turn out to be a psychotic serial-killing monster. I guess I have a type.

(I put in parenthesis because I'm not sure which one, is it me or Wednesday also had tears in his eyes when Tyler revealed the truth to him? Knowing that once again, the only person for whom it is sight crying is the thing)

Wednesday is not one to develop these kinds of feelings easily. I doubt that Xavier arrives at such a result so quickly, although yes, Wednesday appreciates it, but not in a romantic sense for me. Yes, she took an arrow for him, but she was ready to fight for everyone in her school at the time.

So when I see some that say there's 0 possibility that Wednesday and Tyler will still be romantically involved later on, I'm like:

I know the actor said of Tyler "He was always playing her. Maybe there's an attraction there and, he probably wouldn't admit it, but a respect for her, but he's filled with so much anger and hatred toward her and her family and all of Nevermore because of what happened to his mom." But the actors are not gospel, they can say things that are inaccurate, even downright absurd for some. Also, they are not in the writing room. Also, I think he is just giving his opinion. And I'm sorry, but again the idea that he manipulated her from A to Z, feeling only a form of attraction for her, does not fit many moments in the series. Again, the beginning where he agrees to help her get out of town, the interest? It was the first episode, and he probably didn't know Laurel's plan for him yet. When Wednesday asks him why he would agree to help him, he replies that at least one of them can leave this town, as if he wanted to get out of it but was stuck there. The date too, once again there were so many unnecessary details in there for someone who was just playing. The looks he gave her when she wasn't looking. Not to mention that much-discussed moment where he reveals the truth to Wednesday, but literally looks like he's about to cry at the end? Sorry Doohan, but I find it hard to take your words as the absolute truth. Hyde, as in Jekyll and Hyde. Tyler doesn't just have the Hyde in him. It would be a monstrous waste of his character otherwise.

Frankly, I would be extremely disappointed if the show only made Tyler the enemy of Wednesday in the sequel, in pure monster mode. I even think that it would be a rather nauseating message in view of what the character has suffered and the allusions to mental illness.

It would also be so interesting to see the reintegration of a Hyde among the marginalized. Because yes, it seems that Tyler is at this stage his place nowhere. Neither among normal people, nor among the marginalized. He is the ultimate misfit. We don't know everything about the Hydes, and Tyler would be a great way to find out more, to finally complete the research on this subject.

Seriously, don't you find it depressing the idea that a particular type of monster, among a swarm, is deemed worse and unsalvageable? That no Hyde could ever manage to control himself? I see them so much as a parallel to bipolarity, especially because of the case of Tyler's mother. There should be no exclusion among the marginalized. Not to mention that it's not like we tried to help them in a separate way, no, we just excluded them when they didn't ask to be who they are. Literally only one person trying to find out more and no one took over after his death.

I would really like Tyler to have some kind of redemption, while obviously keeping some of his dark side that makes him a member of the marginalized.

Your thoughts on this?

[lordsovorn]

There is a variety of misconceptions surrounding people of the Hand, stemming mainly from the more conservatively-minded. On the one hand, it is entirely understandable, and in fact people of the Hand often make conscious effort to manipulate how their prey perceives them. However, they are still entirely human, and operate on entirely human principles. And since a clean break between those who follow the path of the Hand and those who do not, does not, in fact, exist, the differences are actually entirely possible to wrap one's head around. Moreso, it is practical to do so, even for those who would prefer to consider the people of the Hand to be an atrocious anomaly.

People of the Hand have not, by any means, "descended into primitive savagery". Saying so implies a reversion of the evolutionary process to some kind of natural barbaric state, which couldn't be farther from the truth. There is nothing inherently natural about cannibalism as the primary means of sustenance and the indiscriminate inter-species violence, and nothing primitive about the strategy and tactics people of the Hand employ to that end. Their way of life is an adaption to brutal conditions of hunger and hopelessness - the next stage in changing human circumstances, in a way, rather than a regression to something that came before.

People of the Hand are not mad or deranged, in the strict mental sense, though their onslaught on the established norms may be instinctively interpreted as such. It is, of course, understandable why the City-dwellers used to delineate people of the Hand as "them", as creatures of an entirely different nature. However, for people of the Hand there exist no difference in nature or morality - only in behavior and in reasoning. They adhere to a strategy of hyper-rationalistic egoism that ensures individual survival at the ultimate cost to survival of the community and of the species. And they are being very smart about it.

Hunting other humans is not a moral choice for them, but an optimization - humans are simply easy to hunt in an environment drastically different from what they evolved to inhabit. It would be individually wasteful to ignore such easy prey.

Likewise, the brutality and excessive violence against the weak are little more than a tool to subjugate, intimidate and manipulate prey. On a case by case basis, it might influenced by individual empathy or malice, but overall it is simply an accepted, generally efficient strategy. The scars, the trophies, the marking of territory, the disturbing shrieks - they all might appear barbaric, but each display is a consciously crafted tool of psychological warfare. Which, again, would be stupid not to employ against prey capable of fear and unreasonable, emotionally driven behavior. The people of the Hand do not speak not because they can't or because they don't understand speech - they simply do not choose to communicate in ways that might give prey an advantage. Safe to say, making an impression of a savage monster is helpful to them in that way too.

The disdain for honor, law and emotional ties is likewise rooted in rationalistic desire to ensure one's own survival. No follower of the Hand will risk their life irrationally - no follower of the Hand will pass up an opportunity to ensure their own survival when another shows weakness. With no surplus in anything, survival in Under is as zero-sum a game as can possibly be. Here, a sacrifice of immediate benefit for the sake of vague and, frankly, unlikely prospects of individual or communal payback is considered simply absurd.

All of this, of course, is not rooted in biology, or in a deep-seated culture (let alone an underlying ethnicity; "tribe", as some might be tempted to assume). The Way of the Hand is a way of life. There is no inherent religious obligation to follow it forever (except individual delusions), no promise of reward beyond survival, no requirements for entry beyond the will to survive at any cost.

It is, in fact, common for individuals and familial groups to fluctuate in the degree of their adherence to the principles of the Hand depending on personal goals, material conditions and the well-being of their companions - when the equation changes, so does the framework of solving it. It is easy being "civilized" with well-stocked backpacks and well-armed companions - much less so with an injured dead-weight. Likewise, it is easy to choose between the life of your child and that of a stranger. And when the choice is between certain death for both or for one, for you or for another, what would be the rational thing to choose? Behind the monstrous behavior lies a particular brand of high rationality that leaves no room for sentimentalities, risky assumptions and hopes.

People of the Hand are different from what came before, there is no doubt to that. But there is nothing that has suddenly appeared within them that hasn't always been there. From the ways of thought before the Fall, the path of the Hand is different only in a matter of degree - the tightness of the limits of your priorities, and proximity of those you sacrifice for them.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Reconciliation with the Sussexes - has the Victim of Abuse a duty to forgive? by u/EleFacCafele

Reconciliation with the Sussexes - has the Victim of Abuse a duty to forgive? Is it Easter season, a time for reconciliation. As a practicing Christian, I had to face the issue of forgiveness in relation to my ex husband. I was a victim of extreme abuse, both physically, emotionally and financially from my ex. I spare you the details, they are appalling. Suffice to say that I found myself suffering from PTSD, in a foreign country, homeless, financially broke and with two devastated teenagers. No family and only one friend as support. All my past life I knew was wiped out in hours. The story of my survival, reinvention and thriving is too long to put it here.The main thing that kept me from having a mental breakdown in those dark years was my Christian faith. The issue of forgiving came very early and I decided to take the path of forgiveness. I forgave my ex in my soul and spirit but made no public mention of it, not even to my sons. Nobody knew about my process of forgiveness and the effort it took to truly forgive. It is a long process and takes time, especially in case of big trauma. But in the end I forgave him in my soul. My PTSD took 20 years to go away.Never told my ex : I forgive you. Why? Because he never asked for forgiveness. I took the liberty to forgive him in my soul but never told him, as his lack of repentance and remorse (typically narc) made telling him unnecessary. My message to the British Royals would be: it is good thing to forgive the Sussexes in your souls according to your Christian faith, but you have no obligation to tell them publicly as long they have no remorse, no repentance. No public display of reconciliation. Jesus tells us to forgive if there is remorse and forgiveness is asked. But in absence of remorse, repentance, guilt, reconciliation must not be offered. The Victim owes nothing to the Abuser, much less forgiveness and reconciliation. It the forgiveness exists, it should be strictly between the wronged party and God, nobody else needs to know about it. Abusers must not be told about being forgiven, as they will take this forgiveness as a sign or weakness, and the Victim as the guilty party. They will get a narc high out of reconciliation. Keep in mind the incident when Catherine the POW, sent flowers to Megsy Markle. The harpy made a public display on Oprah of Catherine being guilty . Narc on a high trip.Anyone who talks about the Royals having to reconcile with the Sussexes doesn't understand what forgiveness and reconciliation is all about. They are pearls not to be given to pigs, as they will destroy them. post link: https://ift.tt/8mvIo5L author: EleFacCafele submitted: April 01, 2024 at 08:24AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[goji-pilled]

MK-S: (Unmarked talk about the final boss of the Elden Ring DLC ahead, but you already know about him. This warning is more for anyone else reading. Though feel free to PM me if you’d like me to resubmit this ask with any redactions, if you want to respond but don’t want the spoilers mentions, as I just saw you were censoring spoiler information.)

I was randomly thinking one day and decided to give myself a challenge to defend Miquella’s actions. (I don’t agree with them, but that’s what makes it a challenge; trying to think of things in a different way, and see if I can stumble across new ideas/theories in the process.) That’s when I realized something, and I’ll start a new paragraph for dramatic effect and intro. (Please keep in mind this isn’t my “headcanon”, but rather a possible “interpretation” of events.)

I had wondered for the longest time how Miquella’s “eternal youth” could be considered a curse. On its surface, it seems more like a minor inconvenience, especially compared to Rot. But as I was thinking about Miquella’s actions and this notion, a thought struck me: What it’s not just his body that was eternally young, but his mind/maturity? Physically unable to emotionally mature, and being stuck with a child’s outlook of the world. Now THAT could definitely qualify as more of a curse. And makes events take on a tragic new light.

Miquella seems to want to help people, like a kindly child, but he’s not able to truly grasp concepts like the importance of choice and free will. So in his mind, if he wants people to stop fighting and get along, the simplest thing to do is brainwash them and then problem solved, they stopped fighting each other. But he fails to truly grasp that he took something important from them.

Come think of it, maybe that’s what his promise with Rahdan was; if a truly young Miquella, as in only 12 years old and named an Empyrean, a god to be, sought comfort from his older half brother Rahdan, Rahdan may have made an offhand promise or agreement to help calm the distressed child. But since, under this interpretation, Miquella remains immature, then like other children he just operates under the mindset of “a promise is a promise”. So when Rahdan doesn’t follow through on a promise he didn’t really mean, or even thought was taken seriously, Miquella throws a tantrum and sends Malenia after him.

No wonder Malenia describes him as “the most fearsome Empyrean of all”; He has all these powers, he’s a genius as evidenced by the spells he’s created along with the Needle, and he’s too emotionally immature to be responsible with his gifts.

Hope this was entertaining to read. Again, I’m not saying nor suggesting “this is official, how it’s meant to be”, but just thinking about a different interpretation of the circumstances, and how those interpretations result in new stories and motivations. Good day to you!

See when it comes to Miquella I have many thoughts, especially with the vow he and Radahn made.

While I certainy see and understand the argument that perhaps his eternal youth also refers to his emotional maturity and mental state, I'm not a fan. But that's more a personal thing.

I feel like something that helps a lot with understanding him is the fact that he and Ranni are very clear parallels/foils in terms of their characters.

Unless of course someone doesn't understand Ranni either, in which case we get the takes such as "They're both evil but Ranni gets excused because she's hot" lmfao

They're both Empyreans, possible canidates to succeed Marika and become a god and when you think about it they take quite similiar paths in the end.

Ranni -> Orchestrates the Night of Black Knives in which she uses her step-half brother Godwyn to rid herself of her empyrean flesh -> Radahn and the Radahn festival play a key role -> The Tarnished essentially becomes her Promised Consort -> Age of Stars

Miquella -> Bewitched his half brother Mohg to use him for his plan -> rids himself of his empyrean flesh -> Radahn and the Radahn festival play a key role -> Promised Consort Radahn / Radahn Consort of Miquella -> Age of Compassion (Had he suceeded)

And there's of course the two most important points:

A god who forces his will onto the people, a god who grants the people true free will and their perception of love.

Love is something natural to Miquella. Love and affection are given to him freely by so many, for him love may very well have been taken granted, and why shouldn't he? Like I said everyone loved him, gave it to him freely as if it's the easiest thing in the world. And why shouldn't someone who's kind at heart wish to share this with the world? To unite all beings in a kind, gentler world.

And then he make his gravest mistake: to abandon his kindess and love. To rid himself not just of his flesh, but of the very thing he had promised to use to make the world better.

But he still wants to lead the world into an age of compassion, of love! And if someone rejects his love? Well, he'll just make them accept, makes them love him. It's better for their own good if he is the one who makes this choice for them.

Yet the truth is: What meaning holds "love" and a supposed "Age of Compassion" forced upon you by a god that cannot even love anymore?

But to Ranni? Oh to Ranni love is a precious thing. She's a carian, and boy, carians simply love at their very core. From Rennala, to Rellana, Rykard, Radahn, Ranni herself and even Blaidd: They all love. She loved and trusted her brothers, she loves Blaidd and Iji, sounds guilty when she speaks about how much they're both willing to give her, she chooses the Tarnished as her consort and let's them hold her heart in their palms. She does not give her love out lightly, because it is a precious thing, but she treasures it.

And on top of that she stands for the right to choose, to dictate your own fate without any god or order forcing their will onto you, to not be controlled by these things. That's the order she envisons, led by the moon into the dark night and far away from the world. Even if it means facing uncertainty amd being afraid, from that day on the people will have the chance to truly choose their fates without gods.

And this shows with their chosen consorts too.

Although they made a vow, it is entirely possible Radahn did not actually want to be part of this after the Shattering (unless I'm missing something), which possibly may have led to the Battle of Aeonia and could explain Malenia's line "Miquella awaits thee, O Promised Consort" right before she blooms. Even more so because I vaguely recall hearing something about Jerren and Radahn having made a promise to have Radahn die an honourable death at the Festival.

If that is the case, and the Consort Radahn we face may as well be charmed like Mohg was (it is his body too so like...) it yet again parallels with Ranni.

Because Ranni chooses the Tarnished, we are her only choice, and yet she does not force them. In fact, Ranni does everything in her power to ensure the Tarnished is well aware of everything even before she gives them the key, as shown through the conversations during the hunt for the Shadow in Nokstella. Hell, the ring itself holds a warning!!

Yet even after all of that, she still makes sure to let us know what the Age of Stars entails.

She has made her choice, and she chose us and she has been open and honest so that we can make a choice too.

I have said this before but all things considered, especislly the nature of the ring, the game could've easily locked us in the Age of Stars ending but it doesn't. And it is extremely reflective of Ranni as a character. She will not ever force us to do anything even if it means losing the chance to realize her order, even if it means experiencing heartbreak, well aware of what it can do.

Fate and love are things not to be forced no matter what, they are choices, because Ranni may have rid herself of her flesh, may be ready to betray everything, but she still holds onto her heart, her ideals, her love and the ability to love.

To Miquella love is a means to an end, a weapon if need be, and the right to choose does not matter anymore, because he not just rid himself of his flesh but of his love and ability to love. In the name of achieving godhood he has lost himself, he is but a husk with the empty ambition to fulfill a child's dream.

The worst part? Saint Trina, the part that was his love begs you to kill him, because godhood would be a prison for him.

Miquella is not evil, nor is he good.

Miquella is a tragedy.

[bayofwolves]

Rereading Fire and Ice

We're back again after a short break! Sorry this one took so long to get out, adult life caught up to me. As you might know, these posts are to discuss interesting tidbits and things I hadn't noticed before. Let's get right to it!

Once again, please mind the tags.

In A Revised History of Erdas, Rollan is native and has his long hair in two braids, so this cover messes with me. I really fuck with the colour scheme, though.

Meilin thinks Maya might be crazy. She also jokes about burning Pia's house down in a later chapter, which is a little unsettling! These are definitely just throwaway lines that aren't meant to be thought about again, but I find myself wishing the authors had purposefully written Maya to be a little bit off. It would add something to her character, at least.

Rollan is confirmed to be a person of colour! Yay! "His brown eyes were warm, his brown skin speckled with dirt from the road, his broad face comfortingly familiar." I wasn't a fan of the ambiguous "tan" description he got before.

It seems Abeke may have been physically abused in her home as well as emotionally. She says that if she had ever talked back to her father like Rollan did to Pia, she would be switch-whipped. Pojalo, mark my words, you will answer for everything you've done to hurt this girl.

Abeke being a Rain Dancer becomes relevant! Everybody cheer! Being near water helps her think clearly and make sense of the situation in Samis. Would have been nice to show her actually making it rain at any point like Rain Dancers are supposed to do, but I'll take this, I guess…

Aidana may have had Rollan when she was a teenager. This doesn't have any real merit, but I think it's very possible. And no matter her age at the time, given her circumstances -- living on the streets, mentally unwell and experiencing frequent blackouts -- I doubt her pregnancy was of her own will. Especially considering how she never mentions anything about Rollan's father, and he never asks.

Rollan doesn't seem to remember Wikerus. (Perhaps he only had traumatic memories of him, and his brain covered these up along with the memories of Aidana's sickness.) He probably would have mentioned to the Greencloaks that his mother was Marked if he'd known.

Zerif must have found and cured Aidana while he was in Concorba seeking Rollan and Essix. I doubt he would have visited that city on two separate occasions. He likely came across her after losing Rollan to Olvan. Another element of tragedy to their story: Aidana was possibly just hours or minutes too late to safely reunite with her son.

Aidana talks about the Devourer helping people, seeking out those afflicted by the bonding sickness and curing them with the Bile. It's unclear if she means Gar or Shane by this, but I'm inclined to believe the latter. In that case, it would have been interesting to see some of this -- Shane finding people the Greencloaks passed over and taking their pain away. He would have genuinely thought he was doing something right, even if he was offering them up to Gerathon in the process.

Pia may have been alive in Feliandor's time, as Rollan notices she doesn't seem surprised to learn of the new war. This is entirely possible, as Suka presumably froze herself and stopped visiting Samis soon after the Fall of the Four in the First Devourer War.

The animal that attacks the group's boat on their way to Arctica isn't fully revealed. I hope it was a creature that doesn't exist on Earth. I imagine a hippocampus or something like it, since the noise made when Tarik strikes it is described as sounding like a wet horse's flank.

Tarik's bond with Lumeo gives him the power to control water. Wish we'd seen more of this.

Abeke has never seen hail before their nights in Arctica.

Conor singing has always been one of the most memorable parts of this book for me. I wish there'd been other instances of him singing folk songs for the group.

So as we've seen with Suka, Great Beasts can devolve into a beast-like state -- presumably if they are comatose for a long period of time. Suka had probably been asleep for hundreds of years, so it makes sense that her mind would be delayed.

Jhi calming Suka reminds me of what Meilin's bond token was intended to do. It would have been a neat callback to what happened here if it had stopped Song's murderous rage.

Halawir's identity as the Betrayer has actually been hinted at in a few books prior to the reveal, this one and Tales of the Great Beasts. Here, it's clear that him asking for Suka's talisman meant he was up to something.

Abeke and Maya's little conversation where they hold hands for comfort and call each other magical is the gayest thing these books have given us since... Suka and Jhi, a few chapters ago. It's a really sweet but also sad moment, Maya revealing that she is traumatized and Abeke not knowing how to help. Definitely one of my favourite parts.

The dream Conor has about the group all wearing strange shoes could have actually had some meaning behind it. The laces on Meilin's dumpling shoes that stretch behind them for miles could symbolize her Bile bond leading the Conquerors to them. Abeke falling through the ice with her fire shoes, but Conor being unable to save her, could foreshadow her being captured by the Conquerors in the next book. As you may recall, Conor was not present and could not do anything when this happened.

I don't believe Shane had any intention of cutting Uraza off Abeke's skin. It's this line for me: "Shane is too much of a diplomat, so Zerif made sure we [Ana and Tahlia] came along and enforced the plan. He was especially hurt by Abeke's betrayal." I'm assuming Shane knew of the plan, and may have been okay with threatening Abeke to get what he wanted (similar to how he used Achi to win his fight against Lishay in The Book of Shane: Vendetta), but wasn't going to actually harm her. He knew he could get the talisman another way. Zerif, on the other hand, wanted Abeke to suffer and so sent two of his minions along. Less plausible is the chance Shane wasn't even in on it to begin with, and Zerif (and his minions) deliberately conspired behind his back. (I'm all for the Conquerors defying Shane's authority, given that ARHoE has Drina stage a coup, so I find this possibility particularly intriguing.)

Kind of wish Abeke had ridden on Great Briggan with Conor in the final battle. Would have made for an iconic scene.

Poor Abeke is concussed during the final battle. I never spotted this growing up because I've never had a concussion and didn't know the signs. I thought she was just tripping, to be honest.

Rollan begins to slip into suicidal ideation after his mom tries to kill him. This book has not been kind to our protagonists, not one bit.

On this quest, the team has done two terrible things: destroyed the Ice Palace, a place built by generations of Ardu, and condemned the entire village of Samis to death. And all for a talisman that slips out of their hands, no less.

My final thoughts on Fire and Ice are mixed. There were some inconsistencies and relapses in character development, and while I can chalk it up to being a product of the many different authors working on this series, it still got on my nerves a little. Let's be real, Conor's animosity towards Shane came out of nowhere and is wildly out of character for him. Rollan shouldn't have still been grating on Conor for giving away the Iron Boar when they resolved that conflict back in Blood Ties. It's a little messy. But I liked the rest. They introduced some elements in this one that really grabbed me. I absolutely love Aidana and her relationship with Rollan; she's a good example of how the war is not so black and white. I love how our protagonists firmly believe anything they do is justified because it's for the greater good, choosing to ignore the destruction they leave behind. I love the depth Rollan got, though it unfortunately came at the expense of other characters'. I wish they hadn't waited to develop Maya until we were nearing the end; I really enjoyed her when they gave her a bigger role. The focus this author gave Conor and Abeke has always been a highlight of the series for me; their relationship is so sweet and caring, though I see it as more platonic than anything. And of course, I loved the darker elements that this book had. Not only that, but it left me in emotional pain, which is exactly what I need to consider something a good read.

All in all, another solid addition to the series. This journey hurt our protagonists so much, and it hurt me.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[fuckmeyer]

this idea is plaguing me, I’d love to know your thoughts! so renesmee develops, but bella doesn’t, therefore the best case scenario is mommy issues from hell, in which bella eternally views her daughter as the unborn child whose life depends on her… please feel free to ignore this if you need to stay in the eclipse headspace!

hi bestie! thanks for the q, very intriguing :)

this is another one of those questions that really boils down to the fandom debate: "what does it mean to be 'mentally frozen?'"

the Illustrated Guide says:

One facet of the absence of aging is that vampires do not develop emotionally or mentally past the age at which they are transformed. A transformed child would remain childlike forever, unable to mature in any aspect.

it also says:

Once they fall in love, that feeling never fades.

to me, this implies that external forces/bonds can change a vampire but internal processes cannot. i subscribe to the idea that even if a vampire can't mature in the biological sense, their experiences still provide them with a way to mature

for example, though he retains the emotional immaturity of a 17-year-old, we see Edward learn he has a soul through his connection with Bella. if you subscribe to the theory that vampires through their bonds & experiences can change, you might think Edward will, from this point on, believe he has a soul. in that way, vampires can grow & develop, even if they can't really develop.

how does this apply to Bella?

first off, girl has a lot of fuckin baggage. not only did she spend the last few weeks of her human life (& the first few months of her vamp life) fighting for her daughter's life, but she never overcame her childhood trauma of having to care for everyone in her life. the hill Bella needs to climb to overcome all this is steeper than Sisyphus'. baseline, she will always consider Ravioli as a child who must constantly be protected from a world that wants to kill her. (though she may have good reason considering Rotolo's existence may have kicked off a cold war with the Volturi lol whoops.) to me, that is less a result of the conditions of her change & more a result of how Bella emotionally developed as a person.

if you subscribe to the theory that a vampire's relationships can change them, her bond with Rigatoni may evolve as her daughter does. that relationship might be the only way Bella can experience permanent internal growth. in the theory stated above, we might see Bella getting past her "my unborn child needs me" mentality, though i could see her having a more difficult time ever getting over her parentification.

her ability to get over this trauma will also depend on what the future holds for the Cullens. i.e., if the Volturi return to whoop some vegetarian ass, Bella doesn't really have the mental/emotional space to give up her protective caretaker trait.

moving on. some in the fandom believe that mentally frozen means mentally frozen. sure, they can fall in love, but all that means is they're in love, not that they learn anything from being in love. going back to the Edward example, we may have seen Edward "learn" he has a soul, but post-BD we would see him return to his depressive, "soulless" state.

applied to Bella: she will never overcome her parentification regardless of how Ragù develops. lil baby will always need protection from others, will always be a lil baby, will always be in mortal danger. Bella is a fucking eternal helicopter parent. yikes, girl

BONUS: ultimate lol would be Bella being CONVINCED Ravioli is trans because in the weeks leading up to the birth she was sure Ravioli was a boy. trans!Resume fanfic WHEN