#having less than functional eyes is so fun lmao

[diospore]

okay about that All Might Nomu fic I was wanting to write

i'm just gonna plan it here and if you guys have any suggestions lmk:

part All Might POV part SCP Style experiment logs.

interspersed with POVs of maybe like. izuku or others searching for him. or the public's reaction to him being missing??? difficult because all for one is the only guy i feel like i understand and I'm already stretching things writing all might lmao

they'd have to take the nomufication slowly because of all might's weak state. i think it'd be more fun to keep him alive during this process rather than go for a corpse - > nomu like usual. Just to make him suffer more

so it'd be like getting ready to receive OFA

build up the body strength, perhaps with forced healing quirks added. he's functionally quirkless again so i'm assuming if they take it slow enough he won't go braindead.

then more combat-oriented or mutative quirks.

Torture in the meantime would be good but it'd have to be non physically damaging torture until the healing quirks take. Drive him mad.

But in the end I don't think All Might would go out without a fight. He'd be less likely to direct that fear/anger towards others other than AFO. Really, AFO is just making him into the perfect guy to kill him.

He kills AFO and Garaki and escapes

Only thing he remembers is "someone with green eyes" and "son" vibes

Eventually he encounters 1-A and the heroes and at first fights but then sees Midoriya and immediately starts babying him.

Another mark for Shoto's conspiracy board

[uwooyoungs]

//

[humming-fly]

bodyswap but it's just the Creatures Within(tm) switching hosts I wonder how that'd go

well I'm stuck at the airport for a while and could use the thought exercise so let's go with it haha

just for consistency let's assume these pairings take place in the host's universe but with the creatures*tm* abilities, ie. greed gets full control of whatever body he works with while john just gets eyes, ling has his motivating factors of being emperor or w/e regardless of pairing while eddie is a washed up reporter in san fran etc.

Ling + Greed: Canonically work incredibly well together, drift compatible idiots, despite having 0 control of his body ling is still able to get his way in the end and had greed doing him favors within 10 minutes of knowing each other, 10/10 compatibility 10/10 functionality

Ling + Venom: hmmm this one's trickier - right away ling is probably extremely agreeable to murder so long as it's who he wants dead/he gets power out of it, so in that regard they'd get along just fine. I think in terms of personality venom is actually extremely easy to work with with very minimal prodding, like he was ready to betray his entire species within like 24 hours so I think ling could get him on board with his power plotting in no time flat and they'd probably have some fun with it. Longer term they might not last too long together since venom is a romantic at heart so ling might need to pass him off to a more suitable partner down the line, but at least in terms of immediate matchups they'd get on well/would probably eat the emperor or something and have a great time doing it. 6/10 compatibility 8/10 functionality

Ling + John: this one's really funny to me john is so fucked lmao - what really works against john here is the fact that ling doesn't really need his eyes to do anything since he can use the dragon's pulse instead and he's also bizarrely mentally stable so it's unlikely his mind would slip enough for john to grab ahold of anything else, so his ability to make himself valuable is pretty dang limited. John's best bet here is convincing ling that working together could result in some sort of power being made available to him down the line, and just have to hope ling decides that's worth his time more than paying for an exorcism. Given ling was willing to search a random country with nothing more than sand and optimism in his pockets those odds aren’t zero though! Beating up cults and making deals with elder gods is very much in ling’s wheelhouse, I’d say normally messing with those things works out poorly for the person investigating them but ling is god’s favorite so he’ll probably be fine. 4/10 compatibility 7/10 functionality

Ling + Rhaast: I mean it’d be fine let’s be real, if rhaast couldn’t corrupt kayn after X years together then ling will be totally fine. Biggest hurdle is I don’t think scythes are ling’s weapon of choice but he could make it work- realistically he’d probably just gift rhaast to the emperor and hope he’d be an impressive enough boon or that rhaast would kill the emperor for him. Idk as much about how the player characters work in lol but assuming kayn’s blue level up thing is canon I assume ling would have that unlocked and rhaast dead in less than three hours. 2/10 compatibility 3-8/10 functionality depending on if sicko mode is canon or not

Eddie + Greed: so in terms of personality I think they’d either get on very well or hate each other with very little in between haha- I lean more towards the former in that Eddie is a somewhat pathetic wash-up and greed is well versed on that kind of personality via making his living in a dive bar. I don’t think they’d be a good reporter though lol. 5/10 compatibility 3/10 functionality

Eddie + Venom: he’s his right hand arm- man. his confidant. his everything. his best friend. his silly rabbit. 10/10 compatibility 7/10 functionality they’re a train wreck that was made for each other

Eddie + John: so this one does have some interesting promise given Eddie is an investigative reporter and also a little insane/prone to impulsive decisions. With that setup I think they actually have the potential to work pretty well together, it would be fun to see how the cookie would crumble over time haha. 8/10 compatibility 8/10 functionality

Eddie + Rhaast: Eddie picks up the scythe and pawns it 0/10 compatibility 0/10 functionality

Arthur + Greed: okay assuming this is memory wipe greed? Might not be too bad, like they might end up in jail but overall surviving the 1930s is feasible for greed and Arthur is probably decent enough company if things are mellow enough. If this is full memory greed? They go into a bar and never leave it again. 6/10 compatibility 3/10 functionality

Arthur + Venom: extremely funny to imagine this one is fun hahaha - I feel like the “lovecraftian horror setting” is just about perfect for venom I genuinely think the cult-busting by night detective by day crime duo has promise - elder gods are all about tentacles and venom can use that to his advantage to assert dominance. 6/10 compatibility 9/10 functionality

Arthur + John: see this one's funny cause this is the canon pairing but their mileage varies so much by virtue of the fact they are the main characters of a choose-your-own-adventure horror podcast, and thus can never really succeed for longer than a few moments lest their entire reality grind to a screeching halt. that said by this point they're mutual lifelines to one another and I respect the codependence. 8/10 compatibility 6/10 functionality (which is pretty high given their medium)

Arthur + Rhaast: exact same as eddie only instead of pawning it probably ends up taking it to some eldrich historian to find out what's up with it. that said arthur Does have a history of immediately going along with voices in his head so he might be the one guy rhaast could actually take over in which case rip arthur lol - regardless pretty unlikely they'd ever stick together longer than an afternoon, 1/10 compatibility 0/10 functionality

not even gonna bother ranking Kayn pairings since I really don't know enough about that guy (really don't know enough about rhaast either but he's funny enough to include lol)

[thatspookyagent]

Dating Inumaki Toge (Black!GN!Reader) would include…

Warnings: Literally nothing but tooth rooting fluff lmao

a/n: Greetings to anyone who stumbles along this fic and decides to read it! This is my first time writing for the JJK universe and I hope that y’all enjoy! Side note: These headcanons are long cause I got carried away writing for my favorite JJK character and one of my favorite anime characters of all time. So please excuse the ramblings and infodumping style headcanons lmao. Expect more from me that has to do with JJK especially when it comes to Inumaki content. Also smol heads up, I low-key wrote this with a darker skinned!reader and 4type hair!reader in mind unapologetically so oop!! Anyways please have a fun time reading this and remember to reblog it if you ended up enjoying it! :))

If you want to be tagged in any of my content, don’t be afraid to tell me via my ask box or through messages! Just remember to be clear about what specific kinds of content, characters, and fandoms you want me to tag you in or if you want to be put on my general tag list! I’m always looking to add more people and I’d be more than happy to add you (if you wish)! :3

Where to start with Inumaki, how about imagining the softest & most wholesome relationship that you possibly can that transcends words and in fact doesn’t need them in order for your relationship with him to function or feel complete/valid

Your relationship together functions a lot on both the little things in life but also the little gestures in life that convey things that most words (or signs) cannot

Not that signing or speaking is any less valuable, Inumaki is more than willing to teach you some Japanese Sign Language

Though you’ve got the food language down pat

No really Inumaki will reply with rice ball ingredients and you’ll dissect what he’s saying better than a world renowned English professor

This fascinates literally everyone that y’all come across, hell even for as long as Maki and Panda have known and come to understand and decipher what Inumaki says, they’re still in awe at how you read and communicate with him

You swear that it’s all in the eyes and it really is

Toge doesn't really hold back emotions or suppress his thoughts about something around anyone in general so that helped with understanding him immensely

You’ve come to be able read every little crease and fold that Inumaki’s face will make within various moods like tea leaves

At times you even know his mood better than he does and vice versa

For as much as you’ve learned about him, he’s made sure that he’s done his due diligence and done the same for you

For some people that would frighten them because it means no longer being able to really hide certain parts of yourself or certain emotions during tough times

However the two of you welcome this intimacy and vulnerability, though it of course took sometime and learning

Especially when it came to recognizing and accepting that physical touch would be a main form of communicating between the both of you

Goodnight kisses are often animal kisses, which holds a lot of meaning for Toge since he has to let his high collar down in order for you two to touch and rub noses together

It was an incredibly nervous and anxious moment for him when you suggested animal kisses as a form of affection for the first time

To make him feel better you asked him to close his eyes and by the end it left him wanting more

Which he gladly stole from you cause he’s That Guy™

Whenever you want some attention from Toge, you like to hold your hands out, palms facing upwards, and then allow him to come to you and proceed to settle his palms on top of yours

This gesture along with the touching of foreheads is such a frequent occurrence from you both

Expect Toge to always initiate forehead touches with you whenever you and him have to split up for a mission

These touches linger much longer than normal, and even have an added nuzzle in them

At times he'll close his eyes as if to relish and store the moment inside his stash of memories of you but also secretly wish you good luck internally

If you hold this boy's head with both of your hands while doing so he will melt on a nuclear scale :"

Honestly discussing which forms of intimacy to try out or implement usually happen over text, especially at later hours within the day

You love to huddle underneath the covers and just text away to Inumaki about anything and everything with only the screen of your phone to light up your room

He’s a pretty insight and thoughtful guy, regardless of how he personally chooses to express that

That thoughtfulness really shines when one day he requests to start helping you do your hair

If you have longer natural hair, he’ll watch tentatively and take notice of how much maintenance it requires

This also goes for any protective styles that you put your hair in that require work or any weaves that you use and maintain

Hell even if you have short ass hair, he will take note of how you care for it and yearn to aid you in doing so

Also does not mind if you just walk out the door with you hair in its natural shrunken state

So yeah from weaves to waves, this man will absolutely learn all that he can in order to make your hair care time run smoother

Feel like he’s the type to really be able to express how he doesn’t have the words to describe how much he’s in awe when your melanin shines in natural sunlight

Whenever you two are in public, he will unapologetically stare at your hands especially when he holds him

He does this thing were he’ll lift up your hand and try to get the sunlight to hit it at just the right angles

Gets routinely lost in thought whenever you’re around him and in broad daylight because he is yet again admiring your skin tone

Will try to collect and buy accessory items that he thinks best compliments it

Speaking of accessory items, he does enjoy crafting you little trinkets and baubles for you to either wear or just keep around you

If you make him something he’ll honestly short circuit, like no really Toge has left the chat that is life!

Will keep that item on him at all times, whether it be visible or not, he just prioritizes how it makes him feel to wear it and know who made it and gave it to him

Loves to look at and caress it before he goes to bed and after he wakes up in the morning

He'll want more stuff for decoration and what not for his room so that he'll have items that you have made and remind him of you in his personal space

Also I forgot to mention, you and Inumaki also speak through hugging

No really like whenever you two hug in public or just in front of other people, when you and him pull apart, you’ll reply to whatever his hug was meant to convey

Like you and Toge are having a full blown conversation with hugs and no spoken or signed word and it will make jaws drop

Certain squeezes in certain areas for a certain time all have their own little individual messages within the nuances of the actions

Sometimes it’s obvious to everyone what Toge means to tell you or vice versa cause there’s a chance that he might not ever see you again and is making sure that if this is the last time that he’ll ever hug you, you best know loud and clear what he’s trying to get across to you in that moment

But there’s also touches for less intense moments that are just meant to be cute and endearing and not really read deeply into as well

Like whenever you boop Toge’s nose or poke his side playfully, it’s pretty much a form of playful banter between you two but without spoken word

I feel like I’ve been talking about mainly touch or non verbal communication a lot so onto some headcanons that don’t revolve around that lmao

I feel like Toge and his partner would be two incredibly mischievous people or at least Toge would convince his partner into partaking in some shenanigans every once in a while

Like they’re two little shits in a pod but nobody ever sees them coming, guesses that it was them, or believes others when people call them out sksks

Being a little shit with Toge includes pulling light pranks, annoying people with your excellent sense of understanding between one another, and photobombing anyone and everyone

Like no y’all will do this thing that’s almost like a skit where you and him just talk back and forth in rice ball ingredients and you’ll catch and understand literally everything that he’s saying but others can NOT understand the both of you and it drives them MAD

You've undoubtedly pissed off both Maki and Megumi the most with your antics while giving Itadori brain rot whiplash cause that boy isn't smart enough to understand you two and takes the conversations way too seriously

Also for the photobombing people, you have formations and plans for those moments and it’s almost like you two choreographed photobomb poses n stuff

[Cue the Formation B line that Gojo says but its you saying it and rushing alongside Toge to jump into camera view of someone’s family vacation photo

Some people don’t mind or care, others join in on the fun, while some have some color words to exchange with you and Toge lmao

Also feel like Inumaki is a pretty good gamer so despite your personal skill level, he will always be down to chill and play something that the two of you can really get into together

Oh and if you know how to play a musical instrument, Toge will jump to organize a little jam session with you before you can even blink

Expect there to also be movie nights and show binge watching with Toge as well, like you have not LIVED till you have seen this man scream OKAKA !!! at the TV cause a show ended on a cliffhanger after being cancelled

Eventually you join in on yelling rice ball ingredients at TV screens while also throwing popcorn cause screw shows ending on cliffhangers permanently

You and him absolutely share playlists and watchlists of any kind together

Whatever you listen to will get absorbed into whatever Toge listens to, and he’ll play your favs whenever he’s thinking about you or about to walk out the door to start his daily training

If he catches you listening to what he likes to listen to personally or songs he’s recommended you based on your own personal taste, expect him to bring that up and how happy it makes him during your daily midnight texting convos with each other

Music is a bit of a key part within your relationship with him cause it expresses another form of intimacy between you and him that can sometimes incorporate words or not

It symbolizes and mirrors a ton of similarities within your relationship while being a way to communicate non verbally with one another while embracing so many complex emotions, all at the same time

This is the main reason why he steals you away to slow dance to something playfully or just bask in some tunes that either you or him found and shared with each other

For him he never wants the music to stop, he wants what the two of you have to persist and stay closely intertwined with one another

No matter what tune or melody is currently playing in your life, as long as he has you for a dancing partner, he’ll face the dance floor with you on it by his side 

[crafty-butch]

i'd love to hear all your tma opinions 👀

lmao i don't think you know what you're asking for (i have SO many opinions), but here are the highlights:

honestly season 4 felt like they wanted martin to be the main character of the season but needed jon around picking up marks, so jon's part of the season is just...unfocused? nothing he does really accomplishes anything (other than getting him more marks) for at least the first half of the season

i hate how this season keeps trying to convince me that jon is as bad as (or worse than) daisy? it makes sense for basira's character to argue that, but melanie siding with basira and daisy makes no sense. like, i'm sorry, i'm supposed to think jon taking statements from five (5) people is somehow less excusable than daisy being a cop who commits so much extra-judicial murder because she's sowwy now 😔 (i know this gets walked back in season 5 but it's still bad)

EVERYTHING about how melanie was handled bothers me. everything. she's furious at jon for cutting the bullet out of her leg, but still buddies up with basira. she goes from being passionate but abrasive to, well, talking like she's trying to get an A+ in therapy. her cutting out her eyes was great, but the way it was framed as, like, self-harm that jon encouraged instead of functionally an animal chewing off its leg to escape a trap is...weird. also there's a part where she says she's learning to be more open about things in therapy and like?? i'm sorry, melanie had problems in earlier seasons, but failing to speak up was not one of them

peter's death!!! if he was going to die from resisting jon's compulsion, it should've been before he spilled his entire life story. sorry, but i don't believe "telling elias's plan" is where he would've drawn the line. he basically just died to avoid giving the audience a spoiler 🙄 (tbh i think jon should've killed him on purpose but there were other options that would've made more sense than what happened)

ok all that said, i do actually like a lot of season 4 lmao. peter's one of my favorite characters, and i love how he and martin play off each other. martin's increasing isolation this season is done so well! and the parts with elias in prison are just fun. i do like him being a puppetmaster from jail even if i don't always like the execution. also elias and peter are made for each other.

[orcboxer]

i've never gotten in a fight before, what's it like to get punched in earnest?

It depends! How hard the punch is and where the punch lands are the main factors. Also, everyone is built different, so my experience won't be quite the same as someone else's, but if you're curious here's mine:

If you got your guard up and take a hit to your arms, it stings but it ain't bad at all really. Same for anything padded with muscle like the chest or thigh or back. Like unless it hits the funny bone or some other weird nerve, it's just whatever imo.

Getting punched in the solar plexus can hurt like hell and knock the wind outta you, but if you keep your abdominals tensed it really reduces the damage of the blow, and makes a lot of body shots feel like nothin. Still gotta be careful about it though, obviously, a punch to the gut is way better than a punch to the solar plexus, but yeah. Surprisingly I've never had a broken rib but I expect that would hurt like hell too so just keep your guard up and stay mobile and hopefully you just never have to worry bout it lmao.

A punch to the face is complicated. The nose and temple are the worst, in my experience, the pain being immediate and sharp. The nose is sensitive and bleeds a lot, it's annoying.

When I've been punched in the cheek, jaw, or eye (which obviously fucks up yer vision), the pain wasn't immediate, it took a few seconds, by which point the adrenaline kicked in. The first punch to the face typically stuns you, there's a moment of shock especially if you weren't expecting it, and for me it was surprisingly less painful than I expected, which I'm sure hasn't been everyone's experience, but you'll definitely be feelin it the next morning regardless.

Your mouth is filled with sharp rocks (teeth) so the first place you start bleeding is typically in there (wear a mouthguard), but when I'm wearing a mouthguard I don't even notice it until after the fight. With fighting as with sex, always always use protection. Not just mouthguard but hand-wraps too, you do not wanna fight with unwrapped fists, you'll fuck up your hands so fast and it'll suck.

If you get punched at the right force and angle, you might start "seeing stars" which is where these little flecks of golden light drift around your vision like dust motes -- this indicates your brain got jostled. For me the headache hits in waves radiating from within, and like, the best way I can describe it is a "cold" pain, as opposed to the "hot" pain you get with like a cut on your skin.

Everyone is a little different in terms of how the adrenaline hits em. For me it's like this. Your brain is switching over to fight mode, where words don't exist, just movement. All communication sounds muffled, complex sentences are just noise, time feels like water, and you are bursting with energy. It's exhilarating, and for some folks, like me, it makes minor pain from punches somehow feel great, kinda feels like stretching out your muscles after a long car ride, it's hard to explain, but the function of that is that it makes it easier to shrug off blows and move confidently, which is important cuz bein afraid of gettin hit can be a huge hindrance.

The final factor is context. And this is a surprisingly important one. If we're talkin boxing or mma or just fighting with friends for fun, it's great and it hurts less. Especially with friends, they ain't gonna want to seriously injure you so overall it's just exhilarating and fun. I'll come out of a friendly match covered in bruises and glowing. But a serious fight, with hard feelings or actual danger, sucks, it hurts more and can be traumatic, so, as much as I love to pick fights, consent is everything.

I do genuinely recommend boxing or whatever other martial art really appeals to you, if that's ever somethin you're interested in. Not every gym is gonna be right for you, and some fights are gonna turn south unexpectedly, but for me the hobby itself has been really empowering (not counting these pandemic years, since I can't fight anyone) and, weirdly, it gives me gender euphoria lol. It ain't for everyone but I love it.

[godmerlin]

pic stories?

hahaha ok you asked for this (i'm a rambler)

the first pic basically, i had been SO NERVOUS. I had already go to a photo op with sebastian that also had chris in it with my friend. and i accidentally IGNORED sebastian lmao i think it's because i knew it was my only chance with chris...but i still feel bad because i was supposed to ask them for a fun picture with my friend because she was too shy to ask herself and when we got in there i basically short circuited and it was all my all to ask chris for a hug BUT ANYWAY that's another story....

I got in to see Sebastian and I was like HI! IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU! really loud and he laughed and said it was nice to meet me, and then I just blurted out can I have a hug? cuz i was so nervous. and sebastian was like, of course and i just dove in and he was like laughing and was like "Let's cuddle hug" I was like what the hell is cuddle hugging? LMao and he was like this! and then we did what was in the first picture and at the end i was like Ok then Mr. Weirdo with the cuddle hugs and he laughed at me then they were all rarr you gotta leave so iwas like BYE! and left. that's it. went by super fast.

Now the 2nd pic? The 2nd pic was a core memory moment.

I walked in (was less nervous than the other time) and I was like Hiiiii! and he was all smiley and said Hi back. Then I literally was like "can we like, look at each other?" (i'm still embarrassed by that line so i remember it clear as day.) and he laughed and was like absolutely...grabbed my hand and spun us around and he like embraced me and i was like shit ok *grabs onto him* I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT PICTURE POSITION AT ALL. I just expected to like LOOK at him. I remember thinking I wanted to see his face because I didn't get the chance to see his face the other time...He decided on that pose. I definitely wouldn't have had the guts to ask him for it lmao still can't believe it happened. ANYWAY...what happens next? THe photographer's camera starts acting up! SO. IM just there Holding on to seb and staring into his eyes...I eventually started to move my hands on him (so embarrassing) and you can actually see it in the picture because my finger is up in the air because im NUTS. LISTEN! we were in that pose for AT LEAST 2 entire minutes. my brain stopped functioning. the photographer is like JUST ONE MORE MINUTE YOU GUYS and Im like what the hell is happening and slowly but surelysebastian just starts breaking out laughing and then I did too and im pretty sure it's because i accidentally said out loud that his eyes were mesmerizing. BUT eventually the picture DOES get taken and we are both trying hard to kee a straight face for it (and failing) and as soon as the picture was taken we just burst out laughing ontop of one another. we literally were like hugging and laughing and sebastian was like "well that was a special moment" and i wa slike "Special ain't the half of it" and then he started laughing again. and the people were like OK YOU GOTTA GO NOW and I wa slike ok! BYE but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into him and was hugging me and laughing and i wa slike they said i have to go HAHA and he was like I heard them they can give us a minute! and I'm like oh god ok and then finally he let me go and instead of turning around and walking like a normal person I walked backwards. He got laughing again. ANd walked back over to me and then he spun me around and started to massage my back/shoulders???? I then began to freak out internally. HE GIVES REALLY GOOD MASSAGES YOU GUYS. BUT thye were yelling at us that i had to go i was holding up the line etc. and Im like OK! and I walked away slowlyand then I FORGOT MY BAG IN THE STUPID BIN THEY MADE ME PUT IT IN...and had to pop back in and be like sorry i forgot my bag and he hadn't gotten to the (very nice) girl behind me yet and started laughng and he came over to me and was like "we have to stop meeting like this" and I just burst out laughing (my initial reaction to anything is to laugh) and he started laughing again and then he gave me another hug and security literally brought my bag to me and said I HAD to go so im like OK OK IM SORRY IM LEAVING. and he was like "It was so nice to share this moment with you, thank you for coming" and i was like THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU byeeeee! and that was it.

Long winded because that's how i am. I APOLOGIZE. but it's still a moment i can't believe actually happened in my life!!!!

[aliveandfullofjoy]

elaborate on the ana de armas vs janelle monae thing please?

I’ll do my best!

(Glass Onion spoilers below.)

And to clarify, this isn’t meant to pit these actors against each other or to diminish their work. I find it to be a natural point of comparison since the roles they play in the Knives Out movies essentially serve the same function. I also think both give very effective performances.

I think de Armas gives the richer performance, but I also think this partly because her film is more focused on her. She’s our point of entry. From the beginning, Marta feels like a live wire, someone living through a nightmare. From the flashbacks to before the murder, through Blanc’s entrance, to the reading of the will, to the killer ending, I think de Armas does an exceptional job tracking Marta’s arc. It’s a dynamic role, but she finds a lot of surprising and exciting texture in her performance. One of her best assets as an actor are her expressive eyes: Marta may not be able to tell a lie without vomiting, but her eyes almost betray her more. In every scene, before she says anything, we know what she’s feeling.

Monáe, meanwhile, has a wildly different role and set of challenges to overcome. The film’s structure is one: where Marta is the true protagonist of her film, guiding us through the story, Monáe’s true purpose in the narrative is only gradually revealed. They have less time than de Armas does. Andi is, necessarily, an enigma for most of the first half. Monáe’s eyes are also a great asset: if de Armas’ default is expressiveness, Monáe’s might be elusiveness. Rian Johnson knows that Monáe has a striking screen presence with unreadable eyes — that’s what makes the Mona Lisa parallel in the final shot so effective. When she’s silent, we can tell Andi is keeping something from us. We just don’t know what.

The reveal of her purpose in the story (and the reveal of Andi’s death and twin sister Helen) is thrilling storytelling on Johnson’s part. Monáe clearly has fun recoloring our perception of the character they’ve been playing, even with some technically shaky moments (including their questionable accent work, lol), and the raw physicality of their performance at the end is a blast to watch. Theirs is an entertaining, effective performance that I find to be a little inconsistent.

I’m not sure if any of this made sense, lmao. To review: both are great roles, but I think de Armas’ characterization is richer and deeper than Monáe’s. The excitement (and awards run) in response to Monáe’s performance is, in my opinion, mostly in response to their role in the narrative and not so much about their actual performance.

(Worth noting that this is not new or unique to Monáe — Oscars are given out to the role rather than the performance all the time. This comparison had just been on my mind since rewatching Glass Onion.)

[bonesandthebees]

Okay, last batch. Tntduo time. First up, I really love all the drinks you describe. Itss just a tiny detail, but visualization them is a lot of fun and brings life into the scene. It’s also a subtle way to show how good Quackity is at his craft. It also leads straight into the flirting.

Now this could be my ace ass not properly picking up the context, but to be it feels like it’s more playful banter the way friends might flirt than actual flirting. Though there might be too much blushing for that. Either way, whatever’s going on it’s normal enough to neatly fit into a category. Either way, it’s something Wilbur has never done before. It’s a new human experience and something a normal person of his age would do. Though being a normal person also means having to do the dishes and laundry like the rest of us plebs.

Even still, Wilbur isn’t ready to consciously accept that he’s just a human. Yet he feels like he has no right to call himself the Pythia. Because he doesn't want to leave and he doesn’t want to get a vision telling him to leave and he’s not even worried that Clara might be trying and failing to reach him. Well, he isn’t until he realises that he should be glad she can’t reach him and then the religious guilt kicks in.

This leads to him spilling his worries to Quackity, because in all this he’s a safe person to talk to. He’s a neutral party. And I’ve said before he’s what Wilbur could have become if he hadn’t been chosen to be the Pythia. [What’s a Pythia to a non-believer?] just a normal human being with some extra fancy title and privilege.

And so the little Phoenix in his chest comes to life again sending smoke from the ashes as we slip into only pronouns territory. And Quackity asks good questions to. Would it be bad if Clara had given up on him? For Wilbur it would be terrible, but everyone with eyes can see how much it hurts him. It would be better in the long run, but Wilbur’s not ready to see that. Because it’s been drilled into him from age 12 that his only purpose is to serve Clara.

He is nothing but an empty vessel and it runs back to the existential crisis of whether he even deserves to live if he’s not serving her. Though this time around it’s less “I don’t deserve to breath if I’m not serving her” and more “this is all I know how to do, what else am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to do anything else?” which is pretty close to the normal “what am I going to do with my life” everyone else has like Quackity points out, except with builds-in additional “am I not good enough?”.

And then we circle back to the empty vessel and we get another way of dealing with it. The Quackity way, which is somehow even unhealthier than whatever Wilbur and Tommy are developing. Quackity’s intention is to make a point that Wilbur is just like everyone else. That point is ‘if I pinch you, you feel pain just like everyone else’.

They have a different definition of empty. Wilbur thinks that empty is what he is because that’s what he’s supposed to be, but Quackity knows that empty people can barely function. Empty people have no personality. They wouldn’t banter and flirt with him. They might not even react when you hurt them. And that’s what he’s trying to show Wilbur. He’s not empty. But Wilbur has an entirely different definition of being empty. And even by that one he’s ‘failing’. So Quackity’s way doesn't really work. It doesn’t shattered Wilbur world view (not in one go anyway), but it does make him feel very human.

And this ask is getting long, so I’m cutting it off here, but I just noticed the invisible countdown above his head comment, which is definitely foreshadowing for the vision at the end.

(1/?)

-🌲

lmao thank you for the compliment about the drinks I describe, but I gotta be honest the drink wilbur has in ch 18 was straight up a drink I had once at a bar that I still think about to this day. yes it tasted like chocolate strawberries, yes it was pale purple, and yes it had bourbon in it. I do not understand how the bartender did it at all but she was fantastic. I desperately want to go back to that bar. I'm also gonna attach a picture of it at the end of this under a read more bc it's a very pretty drink (but the picture is shit lmao)

the thing is with the tntduo flirting is that it's not able to be fit into a box. maybe some of it's genuine, maybe it's just jokes, but it's not clear on either side. but most importantly, like you said, it's a normal human experience. wilbur is finally experiencing genuine flirting and not just being forced to flatter rich people at parties.

gotta love when wilbur's having some Thoughts and the religious guilt suddenly kicks in and he spirals again. classic.

yes that's exactly why he spills to quackity! he's the only true neutral party in all of this! and that's also partly why wilbur is so drawn to him. he's a non-believer. no matter what wilbur does or says quackity doesn't view him as anything other than just a guy. even the deathlings, while recognizing him as a person, still view him as Clara's Chosen. there's still something there. quackity doesn't have that.

god. it would be so good if clara had given up on him. maybe he finally could've gotten some peace after he got over the religious guilt and anxiety about all of it.

"The Quackity way, which is somehow even unhealthier than whatever Wilbur and Tommy are developing" when I tell you I cackled at this. you're so right they are even unhealthier than the codependency circus that is crimeboys rn and that's saying something. gotta love tntduo. but yes that's exactly his point. wilbur is made of flesh and blood and feels pain just like everyone else. he's not empty, and quackity knows empty. he's seen it sitting at his bars enough times to recognize it at a glance, and wilbur is anything but empty.

(drink pic below for funsies lol)

mine was the drink closest to the camera. you can't tell in the lighting of the pic bc the entire bar was lit up in shades of orange and yellow, but it's a very pale purple color. also sorry the pic is terrible this was my 3rd drink of the night and I was, uh, more than tipsy by the time I took this

[lesbiansanemi]

!!

!!!!! This wonderful lady is Frost!

(Absolutely amazing art commissioned from @/samryx)

Frost is an absolute queen and is definitely the brains behind the Defy Fate squad. I'm not kidding. She one of only two of them with a functioning brain and can reliably come up with plans beyond "hey let's betray god but just like... wing it"

Frost is from the Snow Realm, so her people evolved closely with snow and ice (if you couldn't tell from her design lmao). Snows' internal body temperatures run very low to combat living in such a frigid landscape, but due to that, it's dangerous for them to leave the Snow Realm because then they're at risk of over-heating. They make special clothes that are magically able to keep them cool for such a thing. Their skin is also vaguely scale-like to help protect against harsh winds and blizzards. However, Frost's pointed ears and pupil-less eyes are due to her also being descended from Fae; they're not something all Snows have

Frost comes from a wealthy political family. She's the middle child of eight, and her parents never gave her much attention. She was shipped off to the palace to train under Empress Diamond to be a courtesan when she was fairly young. Because of this, she's learned to be very crafty, manipulative, and is very good at reading others.

Despite this, she is fundamentally a very kind, bubbly person. She loves people, and loves helping people. She was honored and thrilled when Fate chose her to be one of her champions. Unfortunately... her dreams were dashed by all the other assholes who got chosen lmao

Frost desperately tries to convince everyone to go along with what Fate wants, because that's always been what she's taught is right and she thinks will be a good way to help people (it's also worth pointing out that of the eight champions, Frost is easily the most well off and privileged out of them, she's never had much reason to question status quos, even if she fundamentally wants to help others).

Some Frost fun facts. She is aro/ace! She also fights with a bow because I just... could not... resist that haha. She's besties with Blaze (the Fire representative of Fate) for a fun little fire and ice duo. She is tiny, clocking in at only 4'10 and the other champions are at least six inches taller than her. Her teeth look like they're made of ice! She has a pet arctic fox

[moongothic]

Oh I almost forgot about these nightmares I had recently, oh boy

Few nights ago... I can't remember the context of the nightmare but I was on like somekinda hiking trip with a couple I didn't know. The couple spotted a small pond and thought it'd be fun to frollic around and whatever, deciding to go for a little swim even though the "pond" was more like an overgrown puddle (but with really clean water)

The girlfriend did a big cannonball into the pond but bizzarely there wasn't much of a splash, and she disappeared completely out of sight, as if she had gone through the bottom of the pond into the ground. The water had also gotten a bit dirtier like the mud at the bottom of the pond had started mixing with the water. After a few seconds the boyfriend started getting alarmed and jumped in, also disappearing, and for a little bit I just stared in horror, not understanding where the two had disappeared because the pond could not be that deep, surely

Then the water started rushing... in... As if you had pulled the plug from a full sink, the water just started draining though it wasn't like, running out, the pond didn't shrink at all. But from where the water was draining into, the same spot the two had jumped in as well, I could now see the girlfriend, desperately trying to climb her way out, dirty and tired.

I helped her out of the pond as the water continued rushing in and asked her if she was okay and what happened- all she told me is that she found a lever that allowed her to escape and that her boyfriend was gone, we should run and fast

And here's where my memory fails me a bit... Or we just go into Turbo Dream Logic Mode. We had been up in the mountains or something, in total wilderness this whole time, but now, as we were about to get the hell out of there, when we looked to the right of where we were, we were... like... inside somekinda facility?

The facility looked like if you took the waterway from the Queen's castle in BBS' Snow White-world, but more sleek, clean and bright, less medival. Just bizarre architecture, platforms and arches, no visible light sources, nothing looked like it was made from man-made materials, and the waterway had ankle-deep water running gently through it

So we had to get Out Of There, whatever this facility was

And no sooner than me realizing the predicament we were in, we could hear moaning coming from somewhere. A horrible, low groan like someone had a really bad flu and/or had broken their whole neck

But we didn't have to wait long to find out where that sound was coming from. Just around the corner came the boyfriend, laying on his back in the water, crawling using his left arm and leg to move himself along faster (though still slow), his head tilted away from us, eyes glazed over.

He was moaning in pain, calling for us, asking for help. He was saying that something was really wrong, with this whole place, and with what had happened

To me, the entire sight of him seemed like he had gotten badly hurt when he got sucked into the water, so badly that he was on the verge of death or, if he somehow survived, he'd be left bed-ridden for the rest of his life with partial paralysis and severe brain damage. He seemed like he was running on pure adrenaline, currently just unable to process what had happened either due to shock and trauma, or because his brain function was already so far gone he couldn't understand it. Regardless, I felt horrible for him

But the girlfriend just told me that wasn't her boyfriend, and that we had to get out, fast, because we were in imminent danger

And I woke up. The moaning and groaning and the sight of the boyfriend freaked me out so bad I just woke up.

The other nightmare I had just last night and TL:DR; I kinda got Re:Zero'd lmao

Like it's funny to think about now because I can be like "oh that's just Re:Zero" but it was a bad time within the dream. Sadly I don't actually remember that much about it but here goes

I was with a group of friends at a party or something when I got pulled aside by a shady person asking me if I wanted a Devil Fruit power. I was like ????? and ended up following him to a shady ass place, all dark with red mood lighting, surrounded by the guy's friends/followers. He proceeds to explain that I'm going to be given a random power chosen by a spinning wheel, and whatever happens could never be undone.

I can't remember what powers were on the wheel but there were some "good" ones and nightmareish ones. But the wheel was spun, and it landed on a nightmareish one.

The man started to explain to me how this power was supposed to work, how after my next 20 deaths I would return back to this very moment- as in, I could go out and die in a car crash 5 minutes from now, or live a full life to the age of 100 and die, regardless, if I died, I would return back to when I had been given this "power". But only 20 times. In hindsight it might just sound like being psuedo-immortal because I could live out 20 lifetimes, the world around me just wouldn't be continuous, but to me at that moment it sounded like I was stuck in a horrible timeloop. And it was terrifying

Mind you, they never did anything that would indicate I had been given a power, I had felt nothing change. They just spun the wheel, and when it stopped they told me this was the power I now supposedly had.

I tried to tell the guy to fuck off because this all had to be a stupid bullshit prank and not real, all while he tried to explain to me some additional rules to the power and possibly ways to get out of it, but because I told him to piss off... Well he didn't tell me more, he and his goons left like smoke

I returned to the party to my friends, hung around, and... I can't remember how but I ended up dying.

But instead of returning to the exact moment I had somehow been given the power, instead I was there, in the empty dark space with the red moodlighting, alone, just moments after the man and his goonies had left.

In sheer disbelief I return to the party and realize that yes, I am in a fucking timeloop. I know exactly what's going to happen if I do things the same as before, and I kinda break down to a friend about it, trying to explain it, realizing that if I knew more about the power maybe I could get out of the loop, but alas, I screwed my change to learn more, and since I come back AFTER the man has left, I can't even apologize and ask him to finish explaining the power

My cat ended up waking me up so there is no creepy end to this dream. And it might not seem as scary as a written story as the other one, but IDK it felt absolutely terrifying to me in that moment

[deviltoys]

― this is my first time requesting so let's hope i don't fuck this up [lmao].

taking tobio's [who's the pastor's son] virginity and watching him ask for forgiveness for doing something so inappropriate in the church but then you proceed to degrade him. 🙇

— ‘𝘂𝗻𝗵𝗼𝗹𝘆 𝘃𝗼𝘄𝘀.’

tobio kageyama x top!male reader. (wc; ?)

#a/n: stop. this is my favorite request, ever. virginity loss ‘n blasphemy??? hello? too fuckin’ good, been cravin’ a good virgin tobio. thank you fer’ this, it was perfect!

warings. NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, virginity loss, sacrilege, taboo acts, incest, age gap (18-30), pastor!reader, exhibitionism, sex in a church, misusage of the bible, religious speak, little to no prep, dumbification, creampie, degrading, manipulation, corruption, belly bulge, daddy k.

juvenile ministry took up a huge chunk of the church you operated. being the father to tobio kageyama, it was only natural that he was a frequent volunteer for the group of children who'd visit you both to be taught the righteous laws of god.

your boy was so doting with kids, it lay a smile across your lips to see him so devoted as you'd help demonstrate an array of practices to the youth. he was an apprentice of some sort— you two had a closely knit relationship when it came to chruch work.

almost a little too close.

nobody would ever suspect a thing, right? their nurturing pastor and his passionate son; they wouldn't dream of commiting any corrupt acts against the lord they so dearly fawned about.

the children certainly wouldn't know, such mindless followers. that's why during youth hours the two of you would mysteriously ‘disappear’ while everyone else contributed holy related activities to do while father y/n and tobio went to assist the lord.

you had be fighting the urge to take your son aside and tear his tiny body in half right there inside the sacred haven. but poor little tobio was a virgin, nobody would dare attempt to be the one who would strip the priest’s son of his innocence. you and the younger male had only gone as far as sucking on each others lips or caressing one another in sensual ways that would surely be forbidden by the church.

it was unethical practice to do anything under sexual pretense inside the chapel; with your offspring no less. you were already commiting unforgivable acts unbeknownst to your fellow ministers— what was one more? just another sin strewn onto the pile of ones you had been collecting throughout the years.

the line between faith and abandonment finally blurred out when you caught your little kageyama with pants a size to small for his waist. the fabric rode up, perfectly rounding out and drawing scrutiny to his chubby ass. you were well aware of the scandalous gestures he would send your way while he kept his attention on the children. wiggling his ass out every so often was his main form of communicating his intentions.

he was at last ready to make his daddy proud, giving his body to him as though you were christ himself; submitting to you.

all of his coherent brain function was corrupt by you a long time past, the degenerate acts you two would shun from the eye of society had finally caught up to him. he needed the embrace of his dad, his loving, heavenly father that would fill his holes up with the holy spirit.

“tobio, follow me for a second please? i need to speak with you privately for awhile.” a forged grin took reign of your lips, softly signalling for your son as you escorted him through the barren temple halls. after he had finished passing out coloring activities for the group to engross in, he swiftly followed your lead.

“yes father, what is it that-” you barely gave kageyama a warning before slipping your forearms under his thighs, entangling the remainder of his limbs around your lower and upper body. you lifted his smaller from with ease, hot breath tickling the shell of his ear as your tone dropped to a deep whisper.

“are you ready to give your body to our savior, tobio?”

“yes father y/n, yes i am.”

that was all the confirmation you needed to proceed with blessing him. abandoning your clothes at the altar of god, you began to strip the boy attached to your body. steadily yanking down his suit pants, your cock already springing to life as his own came into view.

it was insatiably erect, you forbid your son from even being curious when it came to exploring his hormones. you knew one day keeping him fresh, unexposed to lewd activity would come in handy.

and it did, oh god it did.

his body was sensitive to the touch, you were concerned he was going to cum without you even putting a hand near his bulge. much less before the fun started. it was like caressing a rock, he was so stiff, the tip already dribbling a tiny bit of pre by the time you were able to finish your first stroke to the hilt.

after giving a few more measly flicks to the head of his cock; you guided tobio’s naked body towards the bible you had prepped specifically for this occasion. the oak pulpit stood tall amongst the various rows of seats— at the head of the stand was kageyama; exposed, ass out, and face burried deep inside the open book sprawled out for easy reading.

he could barely squeak out the first few passages as your lube coated fingers spread his cheeks and stretched his virgin hole to a worthy size; able to fit your fat cock.

it burned and ached, the agony of your fingers poking around his walls overthrew any noticable pleasure that may have slipped in unnoticed; it was torture. he thought intimacy was supposed to feel good. he should've listened when you told him it wasn't fun, how it was a crime against god and how he'd be severely punished for doing as such until he was proposed to by the right man.

but you were the right man, at least that's what you would tell him. so why was it so discomforting, so harsh? you weren't purposefully harming him were you? the paranoia was getting to him, it was so overwhelming, the thought of the man he adored so dearly causing him pain. hot, salty tears pricked his eyes, lashes catching any access fluid as they could meanwhile the clear streaks dusted his cheeks with red.

his hole was still barely twitching with anticipation, and would be for awhile; throwing your head back, you painfully fed kageyama’s rim your length. every inch that ventured just as deep as the last forced strained hiccups to seethe from behind his teeth. he was unbearably tight, his guts sucked you in while his walls showed heavy resistance— pushing you in and out of your trembling son.

“fucking hell.. dumb bitch, you’re so tight. ease up, i thought you'd serve me better- maybe i was wrong.”

no no, you were wrong, right? he was great, such an obedient little cocksleeve just for you, all for you. all he ever did was to please you; the man who he chased after for years, claiming he wasn't as nice as he predicted? panick only settle into him more, ruthlessly he began bucking his hips to match your unenthusiastic thrusts. attempting to appease you wasn't an easy feat, but he was so utterly devoted to you that the condition of his vessel meant nothing if it meant you were proud of him.

he attempted to slur out a form of quivering tongue with a few biblical quotes shoved in-between. whatever he was reciting wasn't human, infact you couldn't tell if he was fucked out or just anxious. whatever it was, your words had preformed their purpose; you were far too impatient to fully prepare him for the world of sex. forcing him to mature on the other hand seemed to run it's course— he was the one himself impelling himself onto at the end of the day.

your arms snaked around his tiny waist, hoisting his feet up and off the ground. the entirety of his lower half no longer met with the floor, steamy tears teased eyes while the remainder of his efforts worked into engulfing you whole. the stimulation of being carried off the ground just like that was unimaginable; only to have his pussy pounded mercilessly into the wooden podium.

“ack! ah.. mm. daddy, pl- please i can do better! m’promise, don't hold back- i want to feel every inch of you!” so vulgar, you weren't aware of tobio’s filthy mouth.

angling your hips to perfectly kiss his prostate with every shift in your pace, you plowed repeatedly into the spongy skin until he was no longer babbling on about anything coherent. whatever bible quote he was now listing off was lost within euphoria; his hole was loosening up more and more with each thrust you planted deep inside of his stomach.

he know knew how desperately he craved seeing your cum gush right out of his gaping ass. more than anything in the world.

“hah, what a stupid whore, letting your father fill up your belly like this? no wonder you can't do anything but flatter me.”

“m’not a stupid whore, daddy i promise!”

the way his cunt squelched around you told otherwise, you didn’t let up on the insults; constantly bombarding the male with word after word. his trembling thighs and drool stained expression prompted you to continue the vile humiliation.

“oh-ho yes you are, you're lucky i’m even taking the time to fuck you like this. the lord wouldn't dare touch you, so why should i? you're charity work kageyama, nothing but pity.”

giving his plump rear a deathly tight squeeze, you ramped up the vigor in your movements. aching breaths escape your nose as you send forth more shivers down the length of his spine— as much as he wants to keep you satisfied he can only withstand so much. this is his first time being lost within the rapturous waves of an orgasm. religious words still on the tip of his tongue as your name bounces off the empty church hull.

there's a puddle of semen beneath you at his feet, he's cum far too many times for you to count and he's just now; once again fighting for release. his limp, shaking shaft all swollen as it spurts out the umpteenth load that session.

you swiftly follow behind, using the last bit of strength in your twitching thigh muscles— you sent your hips forward, fully submerging your fat cock down his rectum. he yelps almost violently, but he adores it. the way you use up his spent hole. the amusement in his moans fizzle once he finally comes to his senses, realizing there's no cum sliding down his guts and into his tummy. the expected feeling of warm, sticky fluid staining his intestines was the big prize he was looking forward to.

“don’t you remember, your only use is to please me tobio. and you couldn't even do that, that's why you don't get daddy's cum. understand?” a disappointed glare forms on your face, once he's luckily unable to see.

he implores like you've never heard from anyone before, you've had your fair share of sexual favours under the church’s nose. but the dark haired male in particular was one of a kind, he was begging you for your seed like his life was dependant on whether or not you fufilled his lustful desires. he needed your cum, right there, right now.

even attempting to guide your entirely hard cock right back into his enormous asshole, which you allowed. your composure was iron-willed, you knew you could cum on command if need be. giving into his sinful fantasies, you pistoned yourself balls deep once more— your hands moving his hips for him as he pleaded for the sweet release of your fluids.

“please daddy, m’such a good cum dump! i promise, please just cum inside of me. i need it, i’ll do anything! anything!”

anything indeed, you had just the thing in mind. and you were sure tobio wouldn't refute, how could he? there wasn't any other choice, it was your cum or no cum. simple as that.

[morelikedoccock]

Mer!Otto AU masterpost

I have to admit that I made this au specifically for spicy purposes, but it quickly turned into something much more extensive in my mind, so here it is!!

I got inspired to make my own Mer!Otto by this art and this fic. The idea was playing around my brain for a while, then someone asked me to draw something I’d been wanting to but hadn’t found the time to do yet and I said “bet,” and then my mer!Otto happened. He’s gone through a few little updates as I’ve continued to write, but I’ve more or less solidified his physical design at this point.

Physical refs here, here, here, here (spicy), and here

And my fics are up on Ao3 under a different handle than my usual one, if you want the link just ask me😆

The good stuff is under the cut!! (warning for spicy) and I’m also gonna include a small blurb on my sad timeline mer!Otto at the end❤️

The Info

History/story:

This particular au Otto has a super long lifespan, upwards of a few thousand years

He’s one of only a few remaining merpeople of his particular species, most of whom died out fairly soon after he reached maturity

He’s been around long enough that he was once revered as a sea god, and people painted him on pottery, most of which has been lost to time

He began his life quite innocent, just learning about the world on his own

Was amused and unbothered by the groups of people who thought he was a god, mostly because he was still fairly young at the time

He became more aggressive as he got older, and had a few phases of about 50 years each (first in early sailing history, then maybe in the early 1600s, and then later in the 1700s) where he fought a lot of whalers/sailors/general seafarers, and was even known to terrorize smaller ships for fun

The seafarers of all kinds who mistook him for either a whale or were hunting him specifically during those times usually didn’t return from their voyages

He has had a decent amount of interactions with peaceful land-bound humans during his lifetime, mostly from people who had heard the myths, who were trying to make some sort of sacrifice to a sea god, or who plain stumbled upon him by accident, his dealings with these types of people have mostly been pleasant

In more modern times he has mostly retreated to one particular hidden cave, in an attempt to live in peace and avoid modern recording and hunting technology, though he’s a little magical so cameras don’t really pick him up properly

Physical stuff:

He’s BIG and incredibly inhumanly strong

His human skin is a very pale blue/green/grey color, his octopus skin is a dark blueish-green

His eyes have black sclera, orange and gold irises, and horizontal pupils (like an octopus lmao)

His teeth are bone-colored and very sharp

He’s got half-inch long dark green claws on each of his fingers

His hair is brown and wavy just like canon Otto (more like NWH Otto)

His octopus half connects to his human half just below his tiddies, and a trail of octopus skin leads part way up over his sternum

He has three hearts (and other as of yet undetermined strangeness in his organs bc of the human/octopus hybrid business lmao)

His blood is blue, which makes his mucus membranes (inside of his mouth, etc) blue-green in color, and also makes him blush the same blue-green

He’s cold blooded but can still function totally normally in water of any temp including freezing deep sea water

His skin can change colors for camouflage purposes and it also sometimes does randomly when he’s asleep and dreaming

He doesn’t need to sleep as much as humans do but does anyway sometimes just because

The tip of his hectocotylus (reproductive tentacle) is shaped a bit like a rounded bud, with six segments that open like a flower, allowing the tentacle to lodge inside a host for better egg-transferring success

His body makes eggs constantly, so there’s always a fresh supply, and any that are over a few days old just get absorbed back into his system

He can also produce several different types of goop, mostly for reproductive uses

Personality:

He’s very similar to how I imagine canon Doc Ock, aka suave, jaded, with a slightly more prickly exterior, but on the inside he’s got a heart(s) as soft as the squishiest marshmallow.

He is initially a bit aggressive toward anyone who finds him, mostly to figure out what they want, but if the person takes long enough to explain themselves and is nice, he softens up quite a bit

He likes music, tasty food, and pretty things

He doesn’t like people who want to hunt him

He doesn’t fall in love often, but when he does it happens fast and hard

When he does love someone he wants nothing more than to absolutely smother them with affection of various different kinds, physical and verbal

Extras:

He eats mostly meat, but won’t turn down the chance to nibble on a variety of other things

He’s ticklish

He has three biological children, carried to term by 2 humans

He has both ear lobes and both nipples pierced, and has several nautical tattoos

If there’s anything else y’all wanna know about, please feel free to ask me!!!

(Also about my sad timeline mer!Otto, basically his story is the same as my regular mer!otto except instead of getting wiser and calmer as he aged, he got wilder and angrier and sadder, eventually devolving essentially into a real sea monster. He’s quite broken and fucked up until someone comes along and just accidentally finds a soft spot inside him that he didn’t even know was there any more😭❤️ Cue soft hurt/comfort-style relearning of trust and kindness and love and all that sappy shit💕💕💕)

[sondepoch]

HC: MC is more flexible than them!

Perfection is certain. Perfection is solid. Perfection is the body of a demon or an angel, where there is no room (or need) for bones to crack and muscles to stretch. You and Solomon, though? You’re human. Not so “perfect” when compared to the other inhabitants of at RAD—but that just makes it all the more interesting when they finally see the way the human body can crack and bend

Word Count: 5.5k

SFW + mild descriptions of cracking body parts

Characters: All brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Instant panic mode

Man just learned that it’s possible for humans to break bones, so when he hears you casually crack your knuckles, he instantly assumes that all your fingers are broken

Finds it even more terrifying when you lean your head back and crack your neck 

Honestly, the look of sheer horror on his face would be terrifying if you didn’t find it so funny

Is actually super confused when he realizes that you’re 100% fine but will not lower himself to actually asking you about it. That is not the Lucifer way, and so this man instead decides to secretly binge Satan’s collection of human anatomy instead

But uh, he gets scarily into it

Seriously, you’re starting to get concerned when it’s been nearly two full weeks of Lucifer ignoring you to bury his nose in a book, eyebrows furrowing every goddamn time he finishes one, and still has no clue what that cracking sound is 

It’s only when you casually do it at the dinner table and Asmo cringes, complaining about how weird it is that humans get pockets of gas inside certain joints and they actually have to crack it out, to which all his brothers nod their head and cringe when you do it again, that he understands what it is

Has never been more relieved

He isn’t as disturbed by the sound as he was before, so it’s not as fun to tease him with it - but you can count on the fact that if you ever crack anything in his presence, he will pause whatever he’s doing to study you for a moment and make sure your face isn’t contorted in pain or anything

After all, he needs to be completely certain that you haven’t broken a bone

But someone help this man when he realizes how much more flexible humans are compared to demons

The first time you do a backbend in front of him, he actually flinches

Man can’t help but imagine himself in those poses - and no matter how sexy you look when you’re winking at him and stretching your body like it’s glue, his bones would have to be shattered to bits for him to do the same

Quietly asks you not to stretch yourself into such positions in his presence

On the bright side, you can shut him up in the middle of any lecture by “casually” stretching your arms back until the demon is so disturbed that he stops in the middle of his sentence and asks you to leave as soon as possible

All in all, not a big fan - but he can tolerate your antics (if only to save face)

But if you ever show him videos (or even pictures) of a contortionist, he may actually be scarred for the rest of his almost-eternal life

Mammon

Man really needs to learn how to knock

He barges into your room without warning, as usual, only to see you all but straddling the ground, legs spread wide apart as you lean to one side and touch your right toe

It’s the most basic human stretch there is - but it’s terrifying to Mammon

You don’t even get the chance to say hi to him before he’s lifted you onto your feet, pulling you up from under your arms, desperately asking why you weren’t screaming for help 

Cannot process the fact that you were actually in that position willingly, much less the notion that it felt remotely good

Of course, you respond to his obvious aversion by showing him all the other ways your body can bend, flopping onto your bed and bending your body into a perfect bridge position

Mammon’s screeches when he sees the arch your back makes

It lowkey gives him nightmares the next night

Also becomes very touchy after he sees you move your body around so comfortably

In his eyes, you’re now the equivalent of a giant teddy bear - and really, what are the differences, now? He uses you for cuddles and hugs, can seemingly bend your body in any way and you’ll bounce back, and your skin is so soft compared to the hardness of his own body

Man actually grows used to your body after a while, holding a strange fascination for the way you can move

Begins to think that it’s cool when you show him how you can crack your knuckles and such

Absolutely makes use of the fact that some of his other brothers hate the sound, casually walking up to them with you by his side and asking them (while you crack your knuckles) to forgive his debts

Works 90% of the time

The 10% when it doesn’t work, though, he gets into trouble

In his free time, though, he actually likes lying with you and trying to figure what other body parts you can crack

Courtesy of Mammon, you learn that you can crack your hip if you stretch at a certain angle

(Bonus:) He one day tries to stretch his body the way you stretch yours and does a basic hamstring stretch on the ground, trying to touch his toes, but the exertion is too much for his inflexible body and he sort of locks a joint, so he’s left on the floor for nearly half an hour until you find him in his room and help him out of it

(Bonus bonus:) After his trauma from the above incident, he immediately goes back to assuming that you’re in great pain every time he sees you do a particularly difficult stretch and instantly lifts your body out of the position, no matter how you protest and say that you’re fine

Leviathan

"What a normie”

That’s the only reaction you get when you crack your knuckles in front of him, eager to see what he’ll do after realizing how much it disturbs his other brothers

Needless to say, you’re disappointed by his utter nonchalance

But that’s only because you have no clue what happens to Levi when he runs to his room and closes his door, jumping into his bathtub with a shook expression on his face

“Oh my god!” He squeals. “iT wAs LiKE iN tHe aNImES”

Nah, fr tho

Man has seen more than enough human-world shows which feature characters cracking their knuckles before getting down to work, so he’s pretty familiar with the concept

Like many things in anime, he was only 60% sure that it was real

But you actually did it

And it was in real life

Man is practically fanboying over a perfectly normal phenomenon

While you’re sitting in the living room, thinking that he was utterly unfazed by it :(

But when the two of you have a whole year to spend together under the same roof, it’s honestly inevitable that the truth comes out

“You like it?” You ask, pure confusion settling over your faces. After all, he’s the first of the brothers to not be utterly horrified by your little habit

“N-no!” Levi shouts, hiding his face. “I mean, maybe...just a little...sort of...but not in the normie way!”

Boi is too cute for his own good

Of course, you humor him and proceed to crack every single joint you can think of, sending a wink Levi’s way 

It would be so easy to tease him, wouldn’t it? To mess with him and call him strange, to compare to his brothers and remind him that you’re not an anime character - and that anime is, in fact, based on humans, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that humans could crack their knuckles the way he’s seen online

But, he’s too precious. And too cute. And he’s too adorable, staring at you with that utterly captivated expression, so you can’t help but humor him again, asking if he wants to see some of the other differences between humans and demons

And when you show him how you can bend your body, man is shook all over again

He 100% thought that the absurd stretches (like a split? how preposterous) were merely fabrications of animation - flourishes added in by animators to make the visuals more interesting

But seeing you move like that? And when you show him the other stuff?

Congratulations. Boi is officially convinced that humans are more interesting that anime can ever be.

Satan

One of the few demons who was already familiar with the fact that humans are ridiculously flexible and can crack nearly everything in their body 

He was actually the one to approach you about it

“Stretch for me, human.”

Or well, the same thing but in less blunt words

Actually invites you to have tea with him where he first broaches the subject, confirming that you'll be fully comfortable with everything he wants to study

Lmao man really arranges to have a safe word in case he pushes you too far

Once you’ve agreed to letting him study how the human body can bend and crack, the two of you set a time and meet up in his room (and yes, he does clear his books out of the way to make room for you)

And so the stretching begins

It actually feels quite awkward at first with Satan showing you pictures from human world yoga books and asking you to mimic them, taking notes in a book on everything 

Gets really excited when he realizes that your flexibility is a function of how often you stretch, and once he realizes that you’re able to go a little farther each day, he becomes lowkey obsessed with finding out whether there's a limit or not

Boi may or may not secretly try to stretch in his own room in case demons are just naturally less flexible and need to stretch regularly to become like humans

Also almost breaks his arm attempting that, so he never tries it again

The whole ordeal fits itself into your routine after long enough: after school, you go to Satan’s room and do yoga while he jots down notes on how your body moves, and after everything is done the two of you have tea

Satan never touches you while you’re stretching for fear that he’ll physically push you into something uncomfortable, but when you explain that certain positions are easier to hold if someone helps, he’ll definitely try to be a helping hand

He starts out really tentatively, hesitant that he’ll be too strong and will push you to the floor or something, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find that humans are more resilient than he’d initially thought

After his notebook is filled with notes and he’s suitably convinced that all his questions are sated, he’ll express his gratitude and tell you that you don’t need to continue 

But if you tell him that you’ve been enjoying your time together, man will 100% clear that space in his room permanently, so that you can spend time there together while Satan asks you calming questions about your day and you stretch the tension of the day out of your muscles

Asmodeus

Jelly boi

Nah but fr

Man couldn’t care less about your ability to crack your knuckles and neck - if anything, he finds the habit to be irritating

But boi is jealous when he sees how easily you can bend your body and stretch into positions that even he can’t

Obviously, his mind is in the gutter when he’s thinking about the way your body can bend - but he’s equally furious of the fact that human skin is so much softer than demon skin

Like, yes. Most demons have near-perfect skin because of its taut texture - and yes, that gives them the illusion of perfection

But human skin, blemished as it is, is like a teddy bear next to a rock when compared to demon skin

And obviously Asmo’s skin is softer than everyone else’s (this man is NOT skimping out when it comes to his skincare routine), but it infuriates him that his skin isn’t as soft as yours 

Of course, man bounces back quicker than anyone else (as expected)

He grows content with the texture of his own skin the moment he realizes how easily penetrable human skin is - namely when he’s doing homework with you and he sees your skin get sliced open by paper, of all things (man nearly chokes when he learns that this is a regular occurrence for humans)

But he never quite loses his fixation for the human body

It’s highkey the reason why he likes touching you so much - your skin is softer than some Devildom blankets! If he could fall asleep with your arms wrapped around him every night, he absolutely would

But he won’t genuinely request that of you unless you explicitly offer, so he’ll settle for simply hugging you at every opportunity

Ofc, the moment he grows content with the texture of his skin, he’s jealous of your flexibility all over again, so it’s kind of nuts

You eventually have to sit him down and tell him all the downfalls of being able to bend yourself into awkward positions (ex: getting stuck in said position or causing a cramp) for him to finally be content with his own body once more

The moment he’s back to normal, all the usual flirtatious jokes come back and he’s offering to let you show him the ways your body can bend

You deny instantly

But if he ever takes you to a club and has the opportunity to dance with you, do a body roll

Man will get on his knees if that’s what it takes to have you do it again

And then he’ll whisk you off to his room, stubbornly ignoring his brother’s protests, declaring that he needs to “reeducate” himself in the art of dance, and that you’re going to be his teacher

And hey - give him a private show while you’re at it ;)

Beelzebub

The first time you crack your knuckles in front of him, he’s eating

Man doesn’t really register it, just assumes that he bit something crunchy 

The second time you do it, it’s in his and Belphie’s room - and Belphie is taking a nap

Man gets a little suspicious, because the sound definitely came from your end, but he dismisses it and decides that the sound must have been a hitch in Belphie’s breathing

But the third time, the two of you are alone

And Beel’s protective instincts come rushing to the surface when he realizes that you really are the one making that sound

“Are you dying?”

First question, no matter what. Man has heard of medical conditions that cause bones to become brittle and crumbly, so he needs to know

Then again, he won’t really believe you when you tell him the truth

“You can...crack stuff at will?”

beelisconfuzzled.exe 

You have to show him methodically, portion by portion, which of your body parts you can crack

He isn’t disturbed by the sound (he’s eaten things which sound much worse, he can assure you) but man is intrigued

(”But how?” He’ll inevitably ask, struggling to yank his own knuckles off in an attempt to crack them and get that feeling of satisfaction you kept talking about)

All in all,he has a decent reaction - probably one of the only people who won’t overreact about the information

But then the fateful day comes

And he cracks your back

It happens while he’s giving you a big bear hug, proud of you after you came running to tell him about a good grade you got in Devildom Literature - and he places his palm on your back in just the right area, pressing down as he hugs you

And pop

Man is so mortified, he almost drops you

You, on the other hand, cannot be more pleased with this development

“Again! Again!” You shout, trying to get him to repeat the action - but while Beel loves hugging you, cracking your back is something he’s not willing to risk

“It’s okay when you do it, because you know how much your back can take” is his biggest argument. "But I don't."

And unfortunately, calling him a chicken won’t work when you try to convince him otherwise :(

What will work, however, is convincing Beel that this can be a sort of strength training - because he needs to have full control of his body to do it right

He’ll agree to do it once (mainly because you’ve been begging for so long)

But, obviously, “once” means as many times as you want, from there on out ;)

Belphegor

It’s one of the few times where Belphie isn’t in tune with his brother

And he hates it

He doesn’t understand how Beel isn't disturbed by the sound - every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a shudder straight down Belphie’s spine

And it’s not the ick factor taking place. It’s just that Belphie can’t help that his mind wanders to darker places whenever you do something like that, the sound abruptly reminding him of his time in the Celestial War and all the awful things he heard there

Like others, the sound reminds him of how weak you really are

And so, if you ever crack your knuckles around him, expect him to leave instantly

He’s the one brother who will never learn to tolerate it - not when he can remove himself from the situation so easily

And honestly, it’s kind of amazing how sharp his ears are

Is he taking a nap on your lap? If you think you can subtly crack anything without his eyes shooting open, you’re wrong

Is he preparing dinner with you in the kitchen? Nope, the sound of boiling water will not cover the sound of your body stretching too far, and Belphie will shoot you a glare before swiftly exiting the room

Is he simply doing homework with you in the RAD library? You’d think that the sound of chatter from the table next to you would hide the noise you make when you subtly lean back to crack your back, but Belphie is gathering his things mere seconds later, huffing and muttering under his breath

So yeah

Not a fan

On the other hand, he loves how accommodating your body is in terms of how flexibly you are

It brings him great joy, honestly, to just watch you flop your arms around aimlessly because humans’ movements are so fluid, so smooth, so unhindered by the rigid joints of demons

And, obviously, your flexibility makes for better naps

He likes to sleep next to you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you latch onto him in whatever position you deem comfortable

Without a doubt, the position you find is something that would be wholly impossible for a demon (how are you bending your legs that much?!) and it sometimes scares him to realize the full extents of your flexibility (can all humans twist their arms like that, or is it just you?) but he loves that you use your body’s oddities to pull him closer

And he’ll never deny you a comfortable nap if you’re willing to cuddle so readily

Never

Unless you crack your knuckles, that is

Solomon

Life is war and cracking body parts is your only weapon

Aka nonstop competitions between you and our resident wizard boy, both of you cracking body parts back and forth until one of you either fails or runs out of things to crack

Knuckles? Come on, are you even trying? Give him something less basic

Back? Oh yeah. Both sides, too - and the loud ones

Hips? You didn’t think it was possible, but Solomon will look you in the eye and hit one side of his hip, the movement a prelude to an instant CRACK which rings out oh-so-gloriously from the other end

Ribs? You realized you could crack them once and never stopped - you’re actually the one to teach Solomon how to do this

Neck? Always the finisher. So loud, and so satisfying

Neither the House of Lamentation nor Purgatory Hall ever wants to have the two of you over at the same time, because the residents know that you and Solomon will have these competitions. And they absolutely hate it.

So what do you do?

Go to the library and disturb the demons there, of course

It actually becomes a pretty sick form of payback to all the annoying demons that look down on the two of you for being humans, because they always cringe so hard when you guys do this

The two of you have deduced that the sound of knuckles cracking is the demon equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard

And you fucking run wild with it

No one wants to piss either of you off, because you’ll both glare at the demon in question and proceed to crack every body part known to mankind (like seriously - it’s reached the point where you guys can crack your TOES, and if that isn’t absolutely amazing, then you don’t know what is)

It actually highkey annoys the demons in your classes, because you guys always crack everything right before an exam and while it helps you focus better, it effectively ruins their concentration

Ofc you guys don’t really care so they can suck it

But uh

Okay so the demons at RAD may or may not get fed up of you both one day and petition for Diavolo to instate a “No cracking body parts” rule in school

So yeah your primary source of entertainment sort of disappears after that point

But no worries, you and Solomon head to the downtown shopping districts instead and become the BEST hagglers in town

“Hey, can we get these shirts on a discount? Huh? You don’t do discounts? 

*Aggressively cracks everything until the demon just wants them out of the store*

“How about now BICH?”

Simeon

You’re actually not the one to introduce Simeon to the idea of humans being able to crack their body parts at will

No, it’s Solomon who steals that pleasure from you

But will Simeon ever let the sorcerer know just how much it unnerves him? Absolutely not. So what does our beloved angel do?

Why, there’s only one option

Come running straight to you.

Man is disturbed. Honestly, disturbed is phrasing it lightly. If he were in his angel form, you’d be able to see how his feathers ruffle and flutter at the very thought of that sound

Needless to say, he hates it

(You 100% consider cracking your knuckles in front of him, just to tease him, but you decide against it)

See, Simeon is an angel. And that means 99% of the time, he’s surrounded by other holy spirits, all of which have bodies molded to perfection that simply cannot crack the way yours can. Whereas demons are forced into human interaction a little more (oft when they're summoned), Simeon really isn’t used your fragility, no matter how much he tries to remind himself of it

So yeah

He hates it

On the other hand - man loves how flexible humans are

The first time you flop down onto your bed, assuming a position that would be impossible for any demon or angel to take but is deemed “comfortable” by you, Simeon is enraptured

It’s not sexual, he just thinks it’s really amazing that you have so much control over your body when he can hardly do a standing glute stretch without breaking a limb

It’s almost funny, his fixation

Actually no - it’s not almost funny. It is wholly and completely hilarious, and you will not stop leading him further down this rabbit hole

When you send this man picture of an contortionist, he’s utterly mesmerized

Show him human ballet, and he will not stop watching it

So yeah

He appreciates parts of the human body, hates others - but as long as you never crack your muscles in front of him, he’s down

Also - after you’ve thoroughly interested him in the art of being a human, he may just write about it in his next book. If you read the next set of chronicles detailed by Christopher Peugeot, you already know who the “feisty but good-hearted human who can bend themselves into a pretzel” is based on

(Bonus: Do a body roll in front of him and he might faint - man knew the human body could but like that? You might just have corrupted an angel)

Luke

“So...cool...!”

Boi loves it

He cheers you on like a champ, laughing merrily as you crack your knuckles into oblivion, scaring away the other residents in Purgatory Hall

And no matter how many times Simeon warns him not to urge you on (”The human already has no sense of self-preservation, and you don’t need to help that along,” he said), Luke can’t help but watch with excited eyes as you show him how different the human body is

He’s almost like Levi with his ardent admiration, and he honestly finds nothing disturbing about the sound of you cracking knuckles

Just finds it cool

It actually serves as a catalyst for his relationship with Solomon, because Luke will 100% go up to him and ask him whether he can crack his body like you, and obviously, the man will laugh and prove that centuries of knowledge have made him better than the average human - even in this area

But yeah

You can really see his inner child come out

(Though don’t say that last part out loud - he’ll ignore you for three days in an attempt to be “mature” before you convince him to accept your apology)

But really - he may be the only person who can not only tolerate the quirks of your body, but openly endorses all of them

On the downside, though, he’ll also try to crack his knuckles...which won’t bode too well, given that his body was built to perfection by God

Boi almost rips his finger off

Simeon proceeds to instate a no-cracking-knuckles rule within Purgatory Hall to discourage any further attempts from Luke

But you know what he didn’t ban?

Backflips.

It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t do them - Luke will happen to see a video of a human doing one (ahem, Solomon showed him it in an attempt to stir up trouble), and now he’s begging you to do the same thing in real life

Which doesn’t work out too well, given that backflips are hard

And you may not be successful 100% of the time

And obviously, Simeon eventually finds out that the two of you have moved onto a new fixation, and so he instate the no-backflips-in-Purgatory-Hall rule

But you know what he didn’t ban? 

Cartwheels.

And so it continues on and on, indefinitely because the only way to cease your and Luke’s shenanigans would be to ban humans in Purgatory Hall, and Solomon is thankfully preventing him from doing that

Barbatos

Hates it, hates it, hates it

More than any of the brothers, more than any of the angels - this man loathes every oddity of the human body that makes it different from a demon’s

But not for the reasons you’d expect

See, it’s not the sound that bothers Barbatos

No, he’s heard the screams of the damned before. You cracking a few measly knuckles hardly makes him flinch as he pours your tea

But what Barbatos does hate is the fact that he doesn’t know what it means

Every single time you crack a knuckle in his presence, it doesn’t matter if the prince himself is speaking, because Barbatos’s eyes will fly straight to you

And yes - you guessed it:

Barbatos can’t tell the difference between the sound of you cracking your knuckles and the sound of you breaking a bone.

And for that reason, he hates it

It’s hardly his fault - he doesn’t even know if there is a difference between the two sounds. But this butler has no faith in you and no faith in humanity as a whole, so every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a rush of worry straight to his stomach, and the demon has to watch you for a solid ten seconds to make sure that you haven’t actually hurt yourself

Poor man

He’s the kind of guy to take everything in stride, so he'll probably never tell you how much he hates it when you crack your knuckles (and honestly, what would he say? “Hi, can you please stop cracking your knuckles because I care about you and it makes me concerned for your health???” No, that’s not going to work. And he doesn't know what will work, so he suffers in silence)

Seeing you stretch is even worse

It can be a casual stretch, simply pulling your arms above your head just slightly beyond what would be physically possible for a normal demon, but it sends a chill to Barbatos’s heart, and he’s worried all over again

See, when you crack your knuckles, at least it’s over. But when you stretch? Sometimes you hold your position for a minute, if not more - and Barbatos simply can’t turn away because he’s terrified that he will, and you’ll somehow hurt yourself

So yeah

No rest for this butler, not as long as you’re going around with that weak body of yours and are cracking and stretching your way into oblivion

On the bright side, it means that he’s almost always watching over you when you visit, an added layer of protection 

The only difference is that while the others are focused on protecting you from other demons, Barbatos is preoccupied with making sure you don’t hurt yourself

Diavolo

Timing is everything

And indeed, you just happen to be in the midst of cracking your knuckles and neck the moment you’re transported to the Devildom, every single one of the most powerful demons in the land staring at you in horror as your body pops some more

"Oh no,” Diavolo whispers, frowning as he looks at Barbatos. “We got a defective human :(”

Nevermind the insult you feel at his words (who does this strange, unfairly-attractive redhead think he is, calling you “defective???” He might be correct in his judgement, but he had no right to voice his thoughts!), you are shook

Definitely not the best first impression for either of you to make

Of course, Lucifer is quick to pick things up with his explanation of what this place is and who he is, and the whole situation is mostly forgotten as you come to realize that you’re standing in front of a literal prince

But the past has a way of resurfacing

And obviously, several months later, you crack your knuckles once more in the presence of the demon lord

The immediate wince on his face is more than enough for you to read his mind

“You’re thinking I’m defective again, aren’t you?”

“YOU REMEMBER THAT?!”

Poor bby

He’s honestly such a brilliant ruler, but when it comes to maneuvering the minds of humans, it’s just not his strong suit

Anyway, the two of you have a long talk (aka you rant and Diavolo listens) where you explain to him that cracking knuckles is a normal phenomenon, and that - look, you can even crack other parts of your body

And the prince is fascinated

He knew humans were built differently than demons, but he’d simply assumed that your body was just as perfect as his, and that yours could simply handle less extreme conditions

Clearly, though, that wasn’t the case

Man decides that, as the ruler of hell and the man spearheading efforts to unite the three realms, it is his moral obligation to learn about the other ways humans differ from demons

And so the shenanigans begin

It’s honestly time-consuming, but Lucifer doesn’t mind because if you’re with Diavolo, you’re out of trouble, and Barbatos doesn’t mind because if Diavolo’s with you, then he’s out of trouble

All in all, it becomes the prelude to a LOT of time spent together, and a LOT of differences between demons and humans come to light. 

Aka various iterations of “What do you mean, humans can’t bite through steel?”

[atlabeth]

neighborly things - sokka x fem!reader

summary: reader can’t make things for shit. thankfully, she has a cute and crafty neighbor willing to help her. 

a/n: im so sorry lmao. i have requests and i have 2 series that havent been updated in like a month but sometimes i just need to write a stupid little oneshot to get back in the writing mood. i did this in an hour 

im not a screwdriver expert so dont come at me if some of this info is wrong lmao 

wc: 1.6k 

warning(s): some cursing but otherwise pure fluff. also i didnt proofread im SORRY im pretty sure they laugh grin and smile like 200 times 

-

“Dammit!” 

 Anyone unfortunate enough to have a place near you during this time would have heard the phrase on more than twenty occasions, and it wasn’t even noon yet. You had gotten the parts in the mail to put together a new dresser a couple days ago, and had finally decided to take on the task. You didn’t know if it was because you were inexperienced with furniture or just lacked basic comprehension skills, but it was proving to be no less than Herculean. 

 You threw the screwdriver at the wall and fell back to the floor as you let your arms sprawl out above you. You had been trying to screw in a part for no less than thirty minutes, and if a miracle didn’t happen right about now, you were going to lose your mind. 

Your head snapped towards the door when she heard a knock, and your brows creased. “God?” You muttered as you got up, wondering if you had actually thought a miracle into existence. 

 You weren’t greeted by a deity when you opened the door, but the man standing in front of you was pretty damn close. With ocean blue eyes, hair pulled back in a ponytail with shaved sides, and toned arms, he was a sight to behold. But you had no idea why he was in front of your door. 

 “Hey, are you okay?” He questioned, genuine concern in his tone. 

 “Um, yeah, why?” You were trying to rack your brain for any memory of this guy — because you knew you would remember him if you had seen him before — but to no avail. “Also, who are you and why are you here?”

 “Right,” he chuckled. “My name’s Sokka. I’m your neighbor; I live—” he gestured at the door just next to your place, “—over there. Moved in a couple weeks ago, so that’s probably why you don’t know me. I’ve just been hearing a lot of cursing and loud noises coming from your place, so I figured I would stop in and see what was going on.” 

 “Oh. That’s.. very considerate of you, Sokka. I’m just…” you sighed and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I’m just trying to put together a dresser, and it’s not going well at all. That latest sound you heard was the culmination of my rage. I threw a screwdriver at the wall.” 

 “Yeah, that’ll do it,” he laughed. “Listen. I don’t wanna intrude on you or anything, but I happen to be pretty good at putting things together. I had to do a lot of furniture construction when I first moved in, plus I’m the one all my friends call when they need help with putting anything together. I could probably help you with whatever’s troubling you.”  

 “Are you serious?” 

 “Oh, no. I just go door to door joking around with people, asking if they need help with their furniture, sometimes I ask if their refrigerator is running? It really gets a kick out of them.” 

 You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly and stepped aside so he could enter your apartment. “Thank you so much, Sokka. I’ve read the instructions a million times, I seriously don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” 

 He crouched down and picked up the manual, turning to a dog-eared page and skimming over the instructions. He pointed at the screwdriver you had thrown against the wall and glanced back at you. “Is that the one you’ve been using?” 

 You closed and locked the door behind him then walked over to the wall, picking up the unfortunate victim of your anger and spinning it in your hands. “Yeah, why?” 

 “Do you know what kind it is?” 

 “Um.. maybe? God, I don’t know. I think it’s a Phillip’s head?” 

 Sokka laughed and shook his head, holding up the manual so you could see it. “That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a Pozidriv for these screws — they’re similar enough that anyone can make a mistake.”

 You stared at Sokka in complete amazement — apparently, your savior lived next door, and he came in the form of a handsome guy with basic knowledge on putting furniture together. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you said as you walked over and took the booklet from himl. You flipped through it a couple times and read over the part, shaking your head in disbelief. 

 “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” you repeated, louder this time. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get that thing to- to work, to screw, to— whatever you call it?” 

 “It’s actually to—”

 “Thirty minutes!” You interrupted, earning a small chuckle from Sokka. “Thirty damn minutes that I have been trying to get that screw in, and it’s all because I was using the wrong screwdriver. Why would they make screwdrivers that are so similar but aren’t interchangeable?!” 

 He shrugged and held up his hands. “Don’t ask me — I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But like I said; this dresser might fall apart if you keep using this thing. I actually have a Pozidriv back at my place, I can go get it and we can finish this up together.” 

 “God, that would be the biggest help,” you admitted. “But I don’t wanna take up your time — I don’t know how I would even repay you.” 

 “I’m doing this because I want to help you,” he said. “You don’t have to repay me. Think of it as… as a neighborly thing.” 

 “A neighborly thing?” you repeated with a laugh. “Well, if you’re offering, I’m definitely not going to refuse.” 

 “I am offering,” Sokka winked. “And unless you want to be at this for another three days, I think you should take that offer.” 

 You pretended to deliberate over it before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I’ll let you help me. I mean, really you should be thanking me for this brilliant opportunity to, um.. hone your skills.” 

 He laughed, a brilliant sound that made your heart sing, and nodded as he went back to the door. “Thank you so much for letting me put together this dresser. Truly, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 “Then I’m happy to be of assistance.” 

 Sokka grinned then unlocked and opened the door. “I’ll be right back, then we can get started.”

 -

 Once he got back, the two of you got to work. The next three hours passed so quickly as you and Sokka talked about everything from the work you did to people in your lives (no girlfriend, thankfully), to exchanging stories — even the silence, though rare, was comfortable. 

 Sokka pushed the last drawer into its place then clapped his hands as he stood up, admiring the fruits of your labor. “And that’s it! We’re done.”

 “Wait, we’re done? Already?” You set down the instruction manual and stood up as well, backing up to Sokka’s position to see what he saw. “Wow, that looks.. that looks just like the picture. We are good at this! Well, you’re really good at this, I’m good at keeping you entertained. But still!” 

 You held your hand up for a high five and he laughed, but not without meeting it with a satisfying clap. 

 “It does look pretty good,” he admitted. “And not only do you have a brand new, fully functioning dresser, you also had the priceless experience of spending three hours with the neighbor you know nothing about.” 

 “That’s not true,” you countered. “I know that you’re really good at putting things together, you’re a genius when it comes to anything math or science, and you hate blueberries.” 

 Sokka snickered and brushed his hands off on his jeans. “That’s everything there is to know.” 

 “I dunno, Sokka. You seem like a pretty interesting guy.”

 “Really?”

 “Yeah. It’s not every day that someone offers to put together a whole dresser just because they feel bad.”

 “Well—” he tore off a blank part of the instruction manual and picked up a spare pen from the counter, then put it up against the wall as he scribbled something on it. Sokka put the pen down and handed the slip of paper to you with a smile. “If you ever need any more help with furniture, then call me.” 

 You could feel your cheeks heat up as you took the paper. Your fingers brushed ever so slightly as you took the slip of paper, and you decided to just go for it. You bit back a grin and tried to sound as innocuous as possible. “And if I want to get to know you beyond the blueberries?” 

 Sokka laughed and leaned against the doorframe. “Definitely call me.”  

 “Great.” 

 The two of you smiled at each other like idiots for way too long before a notification from his phone broke the silence. He jumped from the sudden noise and dug his phone out of his pocket, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, my sister just texted me and I gotta get over to her place.” Sokka started towards the door then paused and turned around. “I actually had a lot of fun doing this, though. I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

 “Yeah.” You knew you had that same smile on your face, but it just wouldn’t go away. His energy was contagious. “Definitely.” 

 “Great.” He winked at you one last time then left, closing the door behind him, and finally snapping you out of your spell. 

 You leaned against the dresser and stared at the slip of paper in your hands, committing the number to memory. 

 You were definitely going to take him up on that offer. 

-

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin​

[none-gender-left-man]

Troll biology headcanons

Their eyes are by comparison much larger than humans because of their nocturnal nature, this is even more dramatic in seadwellers with eyes adapted to the twilight zone of water.

They grow as long as they're alive, it just gets slower once they've reached maturity (much like many invertebrates and reptiles).

Adult trolls can use infrasound* communication, most trolls can purr, all trolls can growl and chirp (more like a feline chirp, not avian).

They possess both an endoskeleton and a pseudo exoskeleton. They're not as jointed and stiff as earthly insects but they have a flexible yet durable rubbery/leathery skin that resembles an endoskeleton more than true skin in structure, this molts periodically as they grow. Less often with age.

Seadwellers will regrow teeth like sharks, possess a swim bladder, and have distinctly webbed digits. Some have bioluminescent freckles and patterns.

While rumblespheres are visually analogous to human breasts, they obviously aren't mammary in nature. It's far more likely they're vocal structures/chambers (hence their name), signifying hierarchy in matriarchal troll societies using distinct vocal signatures.

Sexual morphism in trolls is determined not by gonads but the presence or lack of rumblespheres**, and sexual phenotypes in trolls range far beyond two. This is also true in humans, but even more prominent and common among trolls due to their insane gene pool. Humans have the label intersex for this because of the marginalization of said people (hi, I'm intersex), trolls have no need for any such label because it's completely the norm and not considered remarkable or notable that multiple sexual phenotypes exist, which in turn effected how trolls view sexual morphism which is entirely different from how humans do.

They would not be considered sexually dymorphic, but rather sexually omnimorphic. (Though, as an intersex individual I'd say humans arguably aren't dymorphic either, intersex conditions are actually rather common)

Troll scar tissue lightly shows their blood color because it's less pigmented with grey.

Freckles in trolls can range from black and grey (genetic) to a shade of the trolls blood color (sun damage).

Their claws can range from black and grey to shades seen in their horns depending on pigmentation, more rarely one may have claws that are without pigment and therefore show their blood color.

Psiioniic users have electrochemical organs unique to their bloodline that generate their power much like real world animals that weaponize electricity.

Trolls exhibit some level of hivemind capabilities resembling those of bees and ants, which is why telepathic abilities of varying kinds are rather common. Trolls with mind control abilities employ similar methods to the hivemind authority of a colony queen bee/ant. They use different methods depending on the type of control they possess (classic mind control, lusus/beast control, lime blood pacification), and this likely would boil down to pheromones and chemistry, but could also be metaphysical or parapsychological.

Trolls with enhanced strength employ some structural integrity seen in the anatomy of ants, proportionally the strongest creature known to man. These individuals have reinforced skeletal structures to withstand the weight of a lift (much like ants) as well as corded and efficient muscle anatomy that can withstand tearing more effectively.

*infrasound is sound outside of the human range of auditory perception but can be Felt and otherwise detected, and creates a sense of unease in humans naturally. Infrasound can in some cases travel miles depending on the size of the creature making it. Examples of infrasound in nature include tigers, elephants, and the charismatic T-Rex.

**sexual morphism refers to the anatomical sex phenotypes and is not to be mistaken with gender, we know trans trolls exist just like in humans and of course they do.

I study evolutionary biology for fun a lot in my spare time so I spend a lot of time thinking about aliens I see in media and how they'd function with realistic biological mechanisms lmao