#having the weekend to relax and then most of monday to prep is. so nice

[fingertipsmp3]

Had to reschedule my online interview and now I’m nervous lol

[brandycranby]

hi brandy!!! happy weekend! 🥰 do you have anything fun planned? i hope you can relax and get lots of rest 🧸🧺🛌

this is sooo soft and reading it made me feel cozy 🫂 smartie raccoon!reader hehehehee i searched up raccoon facts and found that they're excellent learners + can also remember the solution to problems and use it again years later! (source)

so i present to you my thoughts 👉🏻👈🏻: steebie and raccoon!reader sharing the sunday paper! 🗞 steve starts with the front page and raccoon!reader tackles the crossword puzzle first 😁 she's intelligent with a great memory and her finishing time is always impressive ofc 😌 she loves the praise pouring out of steve when they check the answers together 🥹

also this is us making biscuits ☺️🤍

eeeee hi tt 😊🫶🏻✨💕 i'm having a nice relaxing weekend speed-knitting a sweater. i have a big brunch date planned with a friend on monday so im prepping for that too ☺️ gonna do my nails

I LOVE UR HEADCANON 😖😖 smartie raccoon has my whole heart... gasp steebie calls her that!! she's his little smartie pants. and she's sooooo smart too!! an unfinished list of things raccoon!reader is capable of:

crosswords!! other word puzzles!! ofc that means she has to have a lot of trivia knowledge. this means she loves to read and absorb EVERYTHING. from reality tv to wikipedia articles to national geographic reports 😌

memorizes recipes and kitchen tricks!! loves to learn about obscure dishes and likes cooking in bulk bc it makes her feel safe and also bc steve eats sooooo much, truly the love of her life

(tho she can go off recipe bc her raccoon instincts cry for chaos and innovation)

learns how to defuse a bomb from crime dramas. she learned. no one knows how but steve's not keen on letting her try it out

remembers everyone's passwords hehe numbers and letters are her specialty after all. this means she can access everyone's streaming services mwahahaha

all of this intelligence means she has to be occupied in order to not be stressed out. this can be her handcraft project of the week most of them are on hold and lying around the compound or her video games!! she has so many, a lot of survival games bc she's very good at that and categorizing things, keeping tabs on food and water levels etc 💕

heehee ty for inspiring me 🫶🏻💕💕 us making biscuits bc we should be comfy and soft all the time yes yes wishing u a very dis tonight 😚

[thatoneweebsworld]

ITWOM Here We Go Boys Pt. 2

I decided a sequel was in order. I was going to write it before the weekend, then over the weekend. It's Monday now. I'm writing this. I'm picking up almost right after part 1. There will be a part 3 at some point, I just thought this would be cute idk

Mimi awakens to quite an odd situation. Her surroundings are wet, warm, and soft. Even though her eyes are wide open, she can't see anything. "Where..." she whispers to herself as she tries to figure out her location. It then hits her like a ton of bricks just what happened. The haze of just waking up fades to conscious relaxation. "Christopher, you awake yet?" she calls, accompanied by a few gentle taps and rubs. A sudden stirring up above her, a slight jump in the heart rate thumping overhead, and finally a soft hum and pressure answer her. "You woke me up, doll." Mimi still cannot get enough of the deep-set voice of her new giant acquaintance. In an attempt to not irritate her host Mimi starts gently rubbing circles in front of her into the stomach wall. The purring resonating around her only heightens her desire to stay put. "Let me guess," Christopher's voice mumbles. The only reason Mimi can understand him is because she is inside. "You want breakfast, don't you?" She stalls for a moment by pushing a little but then decides yes, she is hungry. "It would be nice, yes..."

"Alright then. Do you want me to let you out now or once its ready? You'll probably want to get washed up." Mimi contemplates her options for a moment. While she does want to get rather clean before sharing a meal with her indulgent host, something about staying put and feeling him moving about the kitchen is also intriguing. "I... I think I want to be let out for now. We can definitely do this again later, I promise. You sure seem to enjoy it~" She gently pats the membrane in front of her and just for one more moment leans into it. "You don't seem so sure about that. I can get everything prepped and then let you out before I start doing the actual cooking." With that Mimi very contentedly curls up into the folds facing the outside. "That sounds absolutely perfect." A gently pressure on her back reassures her even more that her presence is welcomed. The peaceful situation is quickly upset by Christopher's standing up from his previously seated position in which he passed out the previous night. Being jostled certainly disorients the human but she doesn't truly mind, in fact the sensation brings back fond memories of a bounce house she went to as a kid. As the giant busied himself with the task of making breakfast Mimi finally starts to fully wake up. She had never gotten quite as good of sleep as she did last night. In fact, with how soundly she slept Mimi makes a mental note to get rid of the dart on her leg. She was told to never go anywhere without it, but the way Christopher treated her dispersed all of her initial fears. Unlike a ton of other humans from where she came from, her first experiences with giants have been overwhelmingly positive. Nothing but calmness spread through her mind.

That is, until the lovely gentle pressure returns. "I'm going to let you out now, doll."

"Mimi."

"Oh, right. Mimi. Bad habit." If anything this was the part of the process Mimi has been fearing the most. At her currently small state, the process is almost mundane for Christopher. He gently presses his arm into his torso and encourages the contents upward. As soon as Mimi catches in his throat she attempts to aid Christopher by pulling herself up as best she can. This results in her slipping back down. "Dammit Mimi hold still. It's easier for me to just do it." He tries again and this time Mimi stays dead still, harboring a tiny bit of fear that he wouldn't be able to get her out. Such intrusive thoughts are then quickly squandered by visible light. One more upward push and splash, Mimi lands in water. "Oh. I didn't mean to do that." Mimi looks up at the giant from the water and realizes he had intended to put her in his hands. She had slipped through the gap between his chin and wrists. "It's ok, don't worry. That was... easier than I expected." Christopher then turns on warm water from the bathroom sink and places a tiny pair of containers next to her. "You probably recognize these. You can just leave your clothes in here for now." Mimi listens intently to the giant's instructions, silently inspecting his facial features. Somehow how such a smug build, his words came off as genuine. "Oh, I actually have a change in my bag. Would you mind grabbing them since I'm already wet?" She points over the edge of the sink as best she can into the other room. Once settled, Mimi can't help but marvel a little at how much Christopher seemed to know about humans. The horror stories she had heard in the past were all lies then, right? She figures that it might make for good breakfast conversation. Until then, Mimi simply makes the most of what she does know. 'Humans are totally overrated.'

[whentherewerebicycles]

ruthie slowly realizing I have the front camera turned on 😂 this dog hates being photographed!

we were up for a bit at 5 but it was too early and I was sleeepy so ended up dozing for another hour or two. rainy morning here. I’m trying to really savor the cozy snuggly days as life is about to get so hectic for me:

I’m in pittsburgh friday morning through monday night (YAYYY) attending two weekend games and hanging out with bec!!!

I have tuesday to run errands and do laundry before my mom arrives wednesday

we leave early thursday morning for 14 days in japan and korea, during which we are hitting tokyo, osaka, kyoto, nara, mt koya, hiroshima, miyajima island, fukuoka, busan, daegu, and /seoul… I’m soooo psyched but also 🫠 it’s gonna be a whirlwind and I still have to do quite a bit of prep to be ready

we get home on a wed, I have thurs to recover from jetlag slash finalize my job talk, and then friday is the all-day campus visit

THEN I leave sat morning for houston and get back late monday night

it’s gonna be a lot!!! so very okay to be slothful this weekend and for as much of next week as I can manage I think. I am building up my reserves of rest and solitude lol.

mmkay. tonight I am having dinner + watching tár with mary later (and maybe seeing my sister at some point in the afternoon tbd) but the morning is my own! no pressure to get anything done in particular but here are some options:

could do more campus visit research for fun! my first gen programming book is arriving sometime today so I could read that and take notes, or I could spend some more time working through these articles I pulled up on designing programming for transfer students. I was also thinking it might be fun to create some one-page idea/vision/notes docs by hand on various topics—I feel like writing by hand will reinforce my memory of key details, and then making decisions about how I want to visually organize/arrange content will be a good exercise in synthesizing what I’ve learned. lol even as I’m typing this out I’m like ‘OOOOH that sounds like fun!!!!’ so I guess I’ll probably do that.

my former student is calling me at some point today to talk about transfer students’ experiences. he’s around my age (went back to undergrad after serving in the military for a long time) and is fun to talk to because he’s super smart and just like… more of a fully formed person and professional than the college-age kids. so that will be fun and should give me some useful threads to follow in my research. 

pick up my CVS prescription

hmm maybe I’ll put my laundry in right now? I also want to change linens/towels. I cleaned most of the house yesterday so don’t have much else to do in the way of chores… and I have a bunch of leftovers to finish before I’m allowed to make anything else so no cooking to do today either.

if it clears up I’ll go for a shorter long walk (the hourlong loop?) unless it’s really nice and I feel like doing the 90+ min trek again. not gonna let myself run today though—I can tell I pushed it a bit yesterday with the long fast walk + running two days in a row at a quicker clip than usual. just a little bit of achiness!

I finished a novel yesterday and want to start the next one today so I don’t break stride, but that can wait till before bed unless I’m moved to read earlier.

mmkay I think that’s it! take it easy and do fun relaxing stuff today.

[death2normalcy]

Okay, it's the weekend. So, I'll tell you about my week. I'm not going to go into super detail, so if there is something I don't touch up on, and your curious, just message me and I'll respond eventually, lol.

So, my official teaching week is Monday through Thursday, Fridays are mainly for prep, although I have to teach one kindergarten class and attend a meeting. Prep is a lot, though, and takes me pretty much the whole day. I also have to go in at 9:30am on Fridays, instead of 12:30pm, like every other day.

Monday through Thursday's are kind of like this: From 12:30pm to 3:00pm, I am at the kindergarten. I teach 2 classes, and I observe a class. I also have a little prep time first. At 3:00, I have to head over to the main school, about a 10 minute walk, and get ready for my other classes. Each day is different, and no 2 weeks are the same. It's very hard to explain this without you guys full seeing the way the schedule works, but yea. Also, the students we have on M/W are different from the ones we have on T/Th. And the week is broken up into M/T and W/Th. See, confusing. So, for instance, I may have class 1C3 on Monday and Tuesday. But the students on each day are completely different. And then, I may not even have that class W/Th. I think I have the hang of that part, but I know it's confusing for a lot of people, lol.

I am responsible for teaching grammar, which..for the younger kids is fine. But for the older ones, I'm learning right along side them, lol. Most of the kids have been polite and great, some of the younger ones have been loud and can't focus, and the older ones are nice, but very tired (understandable, they take so many classes, plus regular school). Even if it does get frustrating when they don't listen, I don't blame them. This is an after school thing, so they've already had a full day of school, then multiple classes with us, it's a lot.

I think I definitely still need to get the hang of being an engaging teacher, although the school has been very understanding that I am new and will need time to adjust.

So, there are also going to be some days where I have a couple vacant periods, where I have no students. Those are prep time. Sometimes, I may not, like this coming Thursday, which is going to be straight classes all day, and just..a lot, lol.

Classes end at 8:15pm, then I have to clean 2 of the classrooms and have them checked and then I'm free to go. After a 25 minute walk home, I can finally relax.

So, those are my typical days. On the weekends, I can do whatever I want, obviously, and once I get more settled, I'll definitely do more exploring.

[jimblejamblewritings]

heart has his heart | part 2.

Summary: (Y/N) Heart is chosen alongside her friends to attend Auradon Prep. Of course her friend Mal’s mom, Maleficent, has a much more sinister plan than the kids just attending Auradon. Will they be able to pull of stealing the wand or will (Y/N) find herself liking Auradon a bit too much?

Pairing: Ben x reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

“So you guys have a lot of magic here?” Mal asked as you guys entered the dorm areas of the school.

“I mean it exists, but it’s pretty much retired. Most of us here are ordinary mortals,” Ben answered.

“Yeah, ordinary mortals that happen to be kings and queens.”

“That’s true.” Audrey put Ben’s arm around her shoulders. “Our royal bloodlines go back hundreds of years.”

“Wow, really?” you asked.

Both Ben and Audrey nodded, clearly not hearing the sarcasm. The VKs smiled knowing you weren’t genuine at all.

“Hundreds, huh? Call me back when you hit the thousands.” You would’ve stopped there but the look on Audrey’s face was too good to drop it.  

“Carlos? How old is Wonderland now?”

“It’s entering its third millennium in a few years so currently 2,992.”

You could always count on Carlos to be a smart-ass and have the exact answer you needed.

“And the Valley of Hearts was founded when in Wonderland?”

“Approximately two thousand nine hundred years ago. Give or take twenty years depending on if you count its Warring States period.”

“And the Royal Family? The Hearts…”

“Never been usurped once. Only family to maintain rule within a single family.”

“Wow. So two thousand years runs through my veins. I mean, hundreds is cute though… so the dorms would be?”

“That way.” One of the marching band boys said from where he was coming down the stairs.

“I’m Doug, Dopey’s son. I’m taking the tour over from Ben and Audrey.”

“Oh, be careful Doug. It’s Prince and Princess Ben and Audrey. We wouldn’t want to offend their royal blood.”

Ben gave a sarcastic laugh, “okay, okay we get it.”

“A bit much?”

“Just a bit. We’ll see you guys around.” Ben and Audrey walked off.

Doug was very nice as he led you guys through the dorm area explaining the common areas, snack bar and kitchens, the public bathrooms in case you can’t stop all the way to your room. Finally, you arrived at your dorms.

“Everyone chooses singles or doubles. We thought it would be best if you guys had people in your rooms, so you didn’t get too lonely in Auradon. We’ll be happy to give you singles next semester or next year. Jay and Carlos are together. Evie and Mal are roommates.” Doug handed them the keys.

“Unfortunately, there are three girls and we only do doubles so we couldn’t get you all to room together. But one of the Auradon girls did offer to room with you, (Y/N).”

Doug pointed to the door right across from Mal and Evie’s room. He handed you the key before continuing on. He gave out schedules. You guys had the weekend to relax before starting classes on Monday, including Goodness 101 with Fairy Godmother.

You gave a small wave to the other VKs before entering your room to figure out your mystery roommate. The dorms at Auradon were actually perfect, at least according to you. Mal was probably internally screaming across the way with all the cleanliness. It was so light and airy, so pretty.

“I know. I had the same reaction the first time I saw the dorms. Huge aren’t they?”

“Yeah, huge,” you said absentmindedly.

The girl jumped off her bed, setting down the sharpie she was drawing on her skin with. “Nice to meet you. Moetini, Maui’s daughter.”

“Maui? The demi-god? I’m roommates with a demi-god?”

“Eh, quarter-god.”

“Still pretty cool. (Y/N) Heart.” You shook her hand. “Love the drawings.”

“Yeah? I’m testing out tattoos. Not sure what to do first.”

“I like that one.”

You pointed to intricate sun design on the back of her hand. Like father, like daughter. No surprise to you that Moetini would want tattoos like her dad.

“Really? Wicked. Guess it’ll be my first one.”

“Will it move?”

“If I get my dad to do it, probably… do you have any stuff with you?” Moetini looked behind you but saw nothing.

“Uh, they said it would be in the room, but… it looks like my luggage got lost.”

Moetini frowned. “Looks like we’ll have to go get Ben.”

She grabbed your hand and marched out the door. At first when Doug said that an Auradon girl volunteered to share a room with you, you didn’t think it would end well. But Moetini was pretty chill and you were actually kind of happy she volunteered. You followed all the way to what you assumed was Ben’s door. Moetini knocked in such an odd fashion, making a song out of it until Ben opened the door.

“Moetini, what do you want?” You could hear Ben on the other side of the door before he even opened it.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Who else would knock like that. (Y/N)?”

Ben noticed you behind Moetini. “Don’t tell me there’s a problem already. You volunteered, Moetini.”

“Oh, no. We get along great, don’t we? (Y/N)’s luggage is missing.”

Ben scratched the back of his head. “Oh. Well, there was nothing important in there, right?”

“No. Lucky for me I put my crown on. Just clothes and snacks,” you said.

You were glad you kept the picture of you and your parents in your pocket. It was a bad picture, from a broken camera, but you loved it nonetheless.

“Okay. Then in that case…” Ben went into his room before popping back up with his wallet. “I don’t think we’re going to find the luggage, especially since all the others have theirs so just take my card. We’ll consider this part of the program budget.”

“Sweet! Diamond, wow, never held one before. Dad’s only up to the black card.” Moetini admired Ben’s credit card. “This is going to be fun, (Y/N)!”

“Um, no. I’m a villain kid. They’re going to think I stole your card. I’m not trying to get sent back to the Isle on my first day, I’ll just have to figure something out. Probably Evie, you’d be surprised what that girl can do with a bedsheet.”

“We’re not letting you walk around in bed sheets. I’ll just come with you guys, I guess.”

“Are you sure? Shopping up your alley?”

“Not really,” Ben said grabbing a jacket and closing his room door.

“But you need stuff and like you said, we’re not trying to get you sent back to Isle on your first day… just how long do you two think this is going to take? Please say nothing over two hours.”

Ben shuddered, thinking of all the shopping Audrey had dragged him along to. You and Moetini just looked at each other.

“Moetini, how many shops are in Auradon’s mall?”

“Just under 200. A few of them are food stalls, though.”

“Ooh, shopping and snacks… sorry Prince Ben, you might be used to this but I’ve never seen a mall before. I’m about to go wild, especially with this.” You grabbed his credit card out of Moetini’s hand, waving it around and smiling.

“This might’ve been a mistake.”

“Too late now, Benjamin!” Moetini laughed as she dragged the two of you along towards the mall.

You were in your eleventh store. Skin care, handled. Now you were on to shoes and clothes and then you’d head for makeup and accessories. You lost Ben somewhere back in the sixth store so now it was just you and Moetini.

“Look at these shoes!” You were admiring a nice pair of heels.

“Hey, Heart. These ones have hearts on them.”

“Is that too much? Would I be like, too extra for going with the heart and roses motif?”

“Too extra? You’re asking me if something’s too extra?” Moetini held up her arm covered in sharpie drawings, that looked like a real tattoo sleeve.

You looked at the shoes before grabbing them. “If they go with an outfit, then I’ll get them.”

Moetini clapped her hands and you two walked towards the dressing rooms. You were going from the changing room to the little sitting area where Moetini rested back and forth. It was a mini fashion show, occasionally even the store clerks would chime when they thought something looked exceptionally good. You were taking a mini break just to try on shoes when Ben came back with three pretzels and some lemonade.

“Do you girls never get tired of shopping?”

“Shopping like this?! I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of it. You sure I can get this stuff?” You stood up and walked around in the heels you just strapped up, testing them.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. You needed to replace your luggage.”

You were having fun but you probably wouldn’t buy everything you liked, or you would at least work to pay Ben off for some of it. You went to sit back down and take off the shoes, they weren’t as nice as the heart ones Moetini pointed out. Ben handed you your pretzel and lemonade.

“Thanks, Prince Ben.”

“You don’t have to call me that.”

“Some people made it clear that titles were important.”

“Yeah sure they are; but, everyone at school calls me Ben. You go to school right?”

“Okay. Thanks, Ben.”

“No problem. So, does you sitting down mean we can leave?”

“Ha. No. We’re just taking a snack break.”

You were back in the dressing room, trying on your last outfit in one of the last stores. The zipper was hard to reach in the back. Normally, you’d have no problem unzipping it but Auradon liked to coat their zippers in something shiny. That also made them a bit slippery and you couldn’t get a proper grip on it.

“Moetini?! Moetini?!” You yelled for the girl but no one responded.

“Do you need something?” Ben asked from the other side of your dressing room door.

“Where’s Moetini?”

“Bathroom, why?”

“I’m stuck…” you muttered.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m stuck in this dress! I can’t get the zipper.” You flung open the door, to show Ben the zipper that was in the one spot your hand couldn’t reach. “See, it’s too slippery to get. I need her to undo it.”

“Oh, I can help you with that.” Ben unzipped it halfway to a point you could reach but without exposing anything as to protect your modesty.

“Umm, thank you.” You closed the door with one hand, careful not to let the dress fall, so you could change.

(Part 3)...

[moemoemammon]

may i request hcs for a poly mc?

Poly!MC with the Demon Brothers!

(GN!MC as always✌️)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

He will never get over the fact that he's got to share you with his annoying ass brothers. But as the most patient(?) of the seven, he's learned to compromise

And by 'compromise' I mean literally making a schedule for how much time everyone gets with you, to avoid unnecessary fights. They all get you for an entire day, on a respective day of the week in chronological order. (Lucifer on Sunday, Mammon Monday, etc)

Though... we all know he abuses the system by making excuses like "MC, I need you in my office for a moment. I'd like to discuss your grades." and "Come with me for a moment, MC. I'd like you to explain something to me."

Basically he fools everyone by making it sound like you're in trouble, when he literally just wants to hang out with you some more. Maybe he can convince you that all you really need is him..? Jk he respects your decision even if it eats him alive because why his brothers of all people-

"As much as I don't understand your choice, I've lived with those six long enough to know how to deal with them. That being said... I also know how to keep them at bay. We'll have plenty of time to ourselves, hm?"

Mammon

The only brother that can see through Lucifer's ruse, but he can't say anything about it because... come on, it's Lucifer we're talking about.

But that's not stopping him from arguing about that dumb schedule! Why's he got to wait until MONDAY, which is a SCHOOL DAY, just to hang out with you?? Why does he have to go second when he was your FIRST???

Keeps trying to convince you to skip classes with him so you can sneak away and spend the day together. Nobody's got to know, okay?

The whole once-a-week thing teaches Mammon the importance of time management, so he's making the most of the time he's got when you're all his. He's taking you on all sorts of dates and there's no way he'll take no for an answer, got it??

"Oi! What did I tell ya about makin' those goo goo eyes at Levi, huh?! Only look at ME like that, understand? Just you wait, I'll take ya on a date so great, you'll only be able to think about THE Great Mammon! ....Huh? Y-yeah, I want ya to hold my hand."

Levi

Tuesday has officially become his favorite day, for reasons that have nothing to do with the upcoming Ruri-chan themed maid cafe event going on soon-

Tuesday's actually used to be his raid days, when he’d get online with his rpg buddies and do dungeon runs until dawn. But now? He's sacrificed all of that just so he can take the time to enjoy being with you

He may not know much about traditional dating, but don't underestimate the power of an otaku with centuries of dating sim knowledge under his belt-! He'll show you so much moe, your head will pop!!

Just be patient with him, okay? He's seriously trying to be romantic here, even if the thought of holding your hand is enough to make his palms sweaty. But he's not passing up an entire day filled with MC-! Not even his inferiority complex will get in his way!

"Eheheh... I've spent all night coming up with the perfect plan of action! First! We're going to have a TSL marathon of all your favorite episodes! Second! We'll speedrun that game you wanted to play, because I bought it! Third! We'll make a TSL-themed dinner to enjoy in my room! Then, we- ..Huh? What do you mean there won't be enough time? S-seriously?!"

Satan

Wednesday... well, that's right in the middle of the week, so it gives him plenty of time to carefully plan what he wants to do with you when it's his turn to have you. (He also does everything in his power to ruin Lucifer's dates oop-)

We all know Satan's gonna write a whole ass dating journal filled with all sorts of romantic ideas he wants to try out on you.

It's a literal date planner, and he's got things meticulously scheduled just to ensure he makes the most out of your day. You'll have to tell him that you prefer to go with the flow, or he might get a little overzealous-

But having a chance to settle down and realize that it's alright to relax once in a while is a relief. He can't help but feel annoyed when he sees you with the others, and it makes him want to cram even more of himself into your thoughts, so a breather is definitely needed.

"You know, I've been reading more books of the romance genre lately, and it's been giving me ideas for how to spend my time with you. I know you said I shouldn't take live advice from a novel, but... when I read the stories, I can't help but picture the two of us. Shall we read some of them together?"

Asmo

Thursday?? Why couldn't he have a weekend??? Everyone knows there's nothing fun happening on a Thursday night... That being said, Asmo has to get creative!

He's no stranger to improvised romance, so this boy pulls out all the stops and always delivers?? Somehow???? He can plan the perfect date in under thirty minutes-

And the time away from you makes him realize that he actually has to consider the depth of those dates. He finds he's not satisfied with cheap, devilgrammable dates anymore. He wants substance!

So he's taken to staying home with you, carefully and quietly getting to know you, and sharing himself with you. He loves it best when the date leaves him craving more and thinking of nothing but your smile. He hopes you can say the same, too.

"...Aaand that's how you do a cross stitch! Levi taught me that one, and it's saved my life a dozen times! It was a great idea that we should make matching wallets, huh? I'm just FULL of ideas like that! Go ahead and praise me all you want~!❤️"

Beel

Madame Screams does a discount on their sweets every other Friday, when they rotate their stock. He couldn't be happier! Though, he’d be fine with any day of the week tbh-

That doesn't mean he doesn't value his time with you, though. It being close to the weekend means he gets to stay up late with you, the two of you sneaking into the kitchen at night to smuggle away a mountain of snacks

Or he'll take you out into the mountains for a picnic, hoping the view of the surrounding scenery and your face will curb his appetite.

He couldn't be happier to have you for an entire day. A whole day, where hunger is just an afterthought and all he cares about is making you laugh... It makes him happy. He's starting to love Fridays even more now.

"Are you sure you're not tired? We've been hiking for a while....Here, hop on my back. I don't mind it. It's nice when I get to be close to you like this....Hm? My face is red? I think it's the heat.. maybe."

Belphie

Saturday, huh? Perfect. He preps for the weekend by sleeping as much as possible on Friday, so he can stay up all Saturday with you.

And when night falls? That's when his plan really comes into play. He spends the entire day doing the things you want to do, making sure you're thoroughly worn out so when it's time for bed, he has no problem coaxing you into bed with him.

And he's exhausted at that point so once he wraps his arms around you and falls asleep, there's no escape. The longer you're stuck there, the less time he spends glaring at Lucifer for stealing you on Monday.

But really.. the highlight of it all is the big, goofy grin on your face when he watches you indulge in the things you love. Even if it might not be his cup of tea, he's just happy that you're happy. And if he can keep you away from Lucifer, it's a win win.

"If you keep smiling like that, it'll make it even harder to give you away tomorrow. But you know.. we could just run away for a day or two. We could go camping somewhere, and stare up at the stars all night long. It'll be our secret."

[dragonbeak]

Furry Weekend Atlanta 2022 was amazing!!!

For the first time in years, let's return to convention review!

Well, I gotta say, for a first big con to return to I'm glad it was FWA 2022! FWA has always been one of my favorite local cons, even if circumstances had prevented me from attending since 2016.

At the encouragement of friends I applied for the 2022 Dealers Den last fall, got waitlisted, and then received an email from Dealers Den head, Kay, about a month before the event. And I was like, okay!!!

So April was a big rush to produce new merch to make my FWA DD debut exciting! This included a new line of pride python pinback buttons, repurposing some Helluva Boss fanart as pinback buttons as well, and my most exciting, a new shirt design "Slither Slaughter Slumber" which I had been workshopping for years but put on the backburner with pandemic times and all. And woo! I'm so glad my shirt manus pulled through, Terminus Tees are great to work with, if anyone happens to be looking for a GA based T-shirt printing company.

Man, this was the fastest I'd ever sent a file to print, haha! Also my first 3-ink color shirt which I was a little nervous about because it raises the printing cost. But it was all worth it because furries loved the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiirts!!!

Muwhahaha, so this was my first big con to have shirts as merch. And, dang, they were definitely my best items. Which was very encouraging because outside of Kickstarter my Etsy shirt sales are like... eh??? For what it's worth I know I could have better and more engaging product photos but I don't know the first thing about directing a real photo shoot.

But huh, I've mostly been talking about the con prep so far and not FWA itself? Well!!! Lemme tell you, FWA was a blast! All the attendees were so nice, everyone abided by mask rules, everyone was really kind and said such nice things. I appreciated how transparent con staff, especially Kay and the Dealers Den team, were about running the event. Even if you could tell they were working really hard due to being a little understaffed!! ovo;;; Oh man guys, don't work too hard. Understandable, since it's the first FWA to be hosted in person in about 3 years???

And my fellow vendors! Wow, I think this was the most nice welcoming experience from other vendors. I got the most art trade offers ever, got to network with folks and talk shop. I also got the feeling most furry vendors already knew each other? That was very interesting. This was actually my first time vending at FWA in the Dealers Den instead of Artist Alley and I think it was a very good fit for where my art selling hobby is at now. I also went a little wild and splurged a bit XD;; Muwhahaha! Everyone had such beautiful art!

Since it had been a while since I last sold at a furry convention, I forgot how nice furry attendees are to artists TToTT Ah, everyone was so nice. Man, I left the experience feeling really inspired and more pumped than ever to make more art merch!!! But then... just as I was getting ready to relax after one impromptu convention... Momocon literally emailed me the following Monday asking if I'd like to get off the waitlist for their convention in two weeks!!! ovo;;; Oh man!!!

To be continued?

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Shielded. Chapter Three

Anonymous said to imagineclaireandjamie:

Trojan horse.

Week 1(War and Peace)i: 

Monday came around quickly. The amount of sleep she had managed to achieve felt like something of an accomplishment considering what little else there was for her to do.

Feeling brave she gathered herself up and began an exploration of her new home. She recalled the features that Jamie had detailed to her on the Saturday morning before she’d fallen into a light coma for the next 30 odd hours. First, she started with the basement. Recalling the moment in Home Alone where Kevin had been forced to face his own below-ground nemesis, she took the steps carefully, the popular scene repeating over and over in her head until she actually came face to face with a harmless looking space.

As described, there was a washing machine and a dryer -the funnel used to expel the warm air from the back leading up and out of a tiny window near the ceiling- as well as several boxes stacked high in the corner. With not much else to view, she noted the cupboard which contained all the powders and conditioners she’d need and returned to the kitchen.

She’d never really been into cooking before, but despite this she thought the massive aga with its shiny maroon front looked extremely professional. It was, however, so clean she didn’t think it had been used much before. With Jamie working odd and long hours, she presumed it was more likely that he lived on cold snacks and microwave meals.

Looking in the large American-style fridge, she found an assortment of basic produce. What looked like a bottle of unpasteurised milk (most likely bought in himself) and some homemade butter lay in the door alongside a batch of freshly laid eggs. It all seemed fairly self-replacing and she smiled at the idea that one could live completely unaided in the middle of the Highlands if you knew how (or lived with someone else who did).

The freezer, as she expected from inspecting the contents of the fridge, contained a whole host of bagged and sealed meats - enough protein to keep a whole family afloat for months.

Closing the door, she pulled a stack of post-it notes from her pocket and penned a reminder. Seeing all the produce he’d got neatly tucked away reminded her of her teenage years.

Having lost her parents young, she had grown up travelling the world with her uncle and along the way she had gathered herself some producing and growing skills, mainly vegetables and greens, but useful nonetheless. Aiming to reinvigorate her knowledge of horticulture, she wrote:

“Ask about potential vegetable patch/greenhouse…CB”

Placing it on the front of the fridge, she admired the initials she’d signed off with. It hadn’t clicked until she’d come to the end that she could no longer refer to herself with her maiden name and she had hovered over the ‘C’ for longer than normal before sighing and signing with her new pseudonym instead.

Mentally exhausted from overthinking two small letters, she poured herself a glass of water from the tap and continued through into the lounge where she’d sat only hours before with her initial guardians.

It seemed larger and brighter now she actually had the time and a little more energy to view it.

The fireplace was extensive and contained a series of photographs in expressive frames. They must, she thought, have been set up there by someone else.

The first was of a group of young children. Ashamed, she felt badly that she couldn’t pick her host out of the line up. His face and features were still hazy, the only signifier she could recall was the mop of bright red hair that sat atop his head and possibly blue eyes...though she could have been mistaken.

Looking harder, she tried to squint, hoping that might clue her in as to which of the children was Jamie. Giving up, she carried on along the line, smiling as the young girl turned into a young woman. It must be his sister, she pondered, touching the tip of the frame as she looked over the wedding photos. The dress was stunning, the groom looking favourably over at his new bride whilst the crew in the background threw confetti in the air above them.

Picking out Jamie, she noticed his tight smile and high cheekbones. She felt relieved, having not been able to determine who he was in the earlier line-up had made her instantly abashed but at least somewhere in the back of her mind she’d had the forethought to note his defining features in her tired haze.

Towards the back of the ground floor she found a small sitting room. It contained the TV and some rather large overfilled bookcases and looked out over the small garden to the rear. Although she knew she wasn’t supposed to leave the house, she enjoyed -for a moment- sitting on the arm of the chair and looking out across the fields. The sun was still low in the sky and the wind was blowing the long grass gently whilst clouds occasionally masked the sun from view.

The space was enclosed with a waist high stonewall along the top which ran from an outhouse building, to a gate and then on to a covered open-shed arrangement. To the right and behind the shed was a row of rather tall trees. These captured her attention for several minutes as she watched the branches sway and the birds flit in and out of the woodland area. She could almost smell the scent of the spring day and taste the pollen on her tongue as she leaned closer to the window.

It was there she sat for several hours before her stomach growled angrily, reminding her of how little she’d eaten over the weekend.

Making herself a quick sandwich, she wrote out a ‘thank you’ post-it before returning back to her room. She knew Jamie probably wouldn’t be home for a while but the chime of the clock as she’d cleaned up her plate had made her suddenly nervous, as if she couldn’t quite bring herself to make idle conversation yet, and she’d escaped just in case he came home out of the blue to check she was alright.

As it stood, though, he hadn’t and didn’t arrive home until well into the evening. The sun had already begun to set as she put down her kindle at the sound of the door opening and closing.

She knew it was dinner time and the afternoon had passed so quickly that she had barely looked up since she’d returned to her room. Glancing out of the window, she watched the birds fly across the inky blue sky, the orange hue slowly fading as late afternoon turned into evening. Warring with herself, she argued over going down, her mind compromised by her unwillingness to seek out company. She would, after all, have to succumb at some point - it would be rude not to.

Having some form of sixth sense on the matter, Jamie appeared to understand her a little more than she did herself, and for the next few days he allowed her time to adjust and settle.

He would come home at a normal time and, instead of crowding her, he prepared supper, placed hers in the microwave, and then placed himself in the study until bedtime. By the middle of the week she had become accustomed to this routine and would often wait for him to close himself in his own quarters before sneaking back downstairs to eat herself.

As this progressed, her post-it notes become more frequent and she would often add small doodles with large smiley-face stickman on them. Jamie found these endearing, it had been a long time since he’d had anyone else living in the family home and it was a nice surprise to find that he enjoyed it - even if it was only the small noises of Claire moving about that clued him in as to her presence. Stashing the notes in the back of his jeans pocket, he began to collect them, placing them on the pin-board in his small office as he did so.

By the end of the day on Friday he had managed to arrange them into ‘thank you’ notes and ‘question’ notes and had created a set of his own which he aimed to place on the fridge for the following morning. All of these were answers to her queries. Intrigued by her idea for a vegetable patch in the yard, he had returned that specific ask with a list of items he’d ordered from locals and friends which he aimed to have ready for the weekend - this was the one he was most proud of.

“Wire and mesh for coverings, 4 X wooden planks for a raised surround, fertile soil, seeds, glass sheeting to be cut in prep for greenhouse, assorted spring veg selection...JF”

That had been left on Wednesday and he was chuffed to return home in the evening to find a rather large spaghetti bolognaise aside his newest ‘thank you’ note.

Having made the bolognaise she had shyly returned to her room, the message hidden away in her pocket as she’d sat at the desk for the evening to research plant and vegetable growth extensively. There hadn’t been many evenings in her old life where she’d had the time to process alone, and so even though she knew her hobiting away time was coming to an end, she was grateful to have been allowed the week to relax.

Through the use of notes, she had built herself a mental picture of Jamie and his personality. He, at the beginning of the week, had left her meals and then absconded so that she could eat alone, but by the end of Friday their roles had been reversed as she felt he shouldn’t have to take care of her when he’d been out at work all day. She didn’t have a large cooking repertoire, but there were plenty of cookery books hidden in one of the cupboards and she’d taken to reading them to pick out the easier looking recipes to trial.

There had been some mistakes. Some burned pasta (which she hadn’t known to be a possibility until she’d achieved it) but overall it hadn’t been too traumatic.

Peeling open her book, she pulled the post-it -which had now lost most of its stickiness- and ran her fingers over the text. She couldn’t deny how excited she was over the prospect of a garden of her own. The overwhelming thoughtfulness of it was helping to coax her out of her bedroom and she resolved to use the weekend to thank him in person.

As much as she was revelling in their silent, written communications, there was little chance she was (or should be) able to avoid total human interaction for the next 11 weeks. He was going above and beyond for her, changing his own habits whilst she reassessed her life -something few others, she thought, would do for a complete stranger.

With her decision made, resolved to be more social in the morning, she curled up under her duvet with her newest book. Before she knew it, the words were bleeding together, her eyes struggling to remain open as she fell into a dreamless sleep.  

[serenasoutherlyns]

Winding Me Up Ch. 2 - Crying

A/N: thank you all so much for the likes and follows! I hope I don't disappoint you all <3. Here's chapter 2 of this story. I initially did not intend for it to be so like, emotional of a series, but I can't help myself. I'm better at updating on ao3, but things will always make their way over here! I have this series fully outlined so it shouldn't take all too long to write. I happily take requests for most SVU ships (esp wlw)!

Casey is absolutely livid.

Thank fuck it’s Friday, because at least the week is over. Not that she has much to look forward to on the weekend. Paperwork, prep, the same set of tasks repeating in a way that feels completely endless, fruitless, especially after this week. She can handle losing normal cases, those where the defendant is really just the best suspect that they have but nobody can be certain. She can handle the more depressing wins, where the defendant has their reasons, like a father killing his daughter’s rapist. But the cases that hurt the most are the ones that feel like they could’ve been prevented. If only this one man had help, maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did; if only the little girl hadn’t been so trusting.

And her un-recovered reputation still proceeds her. It feels like around every corner is someone questioning her capabilities, despite the fact that she’s been hired back, despite the fact that her win percentage is still the highest in the department by far. She’s pretty sure Jack McCoy has secretly banned her from trying cases against Sophie Devere, thinking Casey has a weak spot for the attorney. He isn’t wrong, but the lack of trust still stings. Casey just doesn’t have many more tries left in the courtroom, she can’t pull her own tactics to throw cases and get a mistrial anymore without some serious disdain from her colleagues.

Yeah, that’s the other thing. Office gossip was going to kill her one of these days. Everyone seemed to think something about her. Casey lost her nerve, Casey’s out of steam, she must’ve slept with someone to get her job back, all she does now is make deals. Casey’s a damn good prosecutor, and she knows it, but sometimes, sometimes the doubt just sinks into her like vinegar, burning her throat.

So when her last jury of the day comes back not guilty on a case she really should’ve won, she shakes as she leaves the courtroom. When she overhears the defense attorney gossiping to one of her colleagues (her colleague for fuck’s sake) about how she’s “not the same as she used to be” on the walk back to her office, by the time she gets to her desk it’s like her body is choosing between hot tears and tearing the place apart. The first option wins out. She grabs her clean gym shirt and puts it against her eyes and nose, but she cries quietly. It’s childish, ridiculous, unprofessional, completely inappropriate, but she can’t stop herself from the breakdown. She’s an emotional person, but she usually keeps the weeping out of the office. Casey is usually able to brush off the comments, able to come up with a witty comeback even, but for some reason, this is the last straw. It’s like she’s finally broken the years old bottle of pain and rage, and everything that’s inside is spilling out onto the floor, a veritable self-pity fest.

When she hears a knock at her door, she’s of half a mind not to answer it, pretend that she has done the unthinkable and actually gone home after her last verdict. She leaves it for a second, but another knock comes, and a voice.

“Casey, it’s Alex. I know you didn’t go home.” Casey’s attention picks up at her friend’s voice. Friend, yeah, that’s probably the best word for their relationship. But she can’t get herself to stop crying.

“You know me too well, Alex,” Casey replies, her voice weak and slurred because her face is swollen. Hearing her own voice makes her start to cry again at how horrible she must sound, louder when she realizes that Alex could hear her cry.

“Is everything ok?” Alex asks, her tone alarmed. She’s never seen Casey get much more than glassy eyed, except when she’s working on a particularly hard case; and then the tears usually come slowly, not the way this sounds, strangled. Casey shows no sign of stopping nor getting up to let her in, so Alex asks again “Are you hurt, did something happen?”

“No, it’s, it’s nothing, look, I’m fine, don’t worry, just,” a particularly large hiccup breaks her sentence, “just a rough day, I’ll be fine.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself and not having much success.

“Uh-uh, no, you do not sound fine,” Alex says, her protective nature kicking in, “I’m coming in,” she says, but Casey replies with an emphatic “No! Don’t!” before Alex can even get her hand on the doorknob. Alex respects her friend’s boundaries, but she can’t let her just sit and cry by herself. “If you don’t let me in, I’m going to stand outside this door until you come out,” she settles on as a compromise.

“Alex, I told you I’m,” another sob, “fine.”

She feels bad about it, but Alex breaks into giggles of disbelief when she hears that. Alex Cabot doesn’t normally giggle, but Casey brings out this side of her every time they talk. Casey hears Alex laughing, and thinking it’s at her expense, responds, “don’t laugh at me, Cabot!”

Alex, still laughing says, “I’m not laughing at you.” She pauses. “Ok, I’m laughing at you. But only because you’re being really funny. Just, let me in Casey,” and as a last resort, she pulls out her subtle flirty voice, the one Casey hears about one morning a week now, and purrs, “Please?”

Casey can never resist it when Alex pulls the pleading growl on her, and begrudgingly opens the door, allowing Alex inside. “You’re incredible, you know that?” She says, tears still streaming down her face, as she picks up a tissue and blows her nose. “God, I must look terrible.”

“You sure do,” Alex says before she thinks about whether that’s what the redhead wants to hear, “What the hell happened?”

In lieu of replying, Casey pulls Alex into a crushingly tight hug, knocking her wind out. Their bodies fit together perfectly, and Casey rests her head on Alex’s shoulder, unable to make words happen.

—

She eventually calms down.

Alex holds her tightly, rubbing circles into her back. They end up on Casey’s couch, she’s not sure how, but by the time she stops crying, she’s all but koalaed in Alex’s lap, exhausted. The sun has gone down.

“Please tell me you locked the door,” Casey whispers, tensing, knowing how this would look if anybody walked in.

“Yeah, I did, darling. We’re ok.” Alex says quietly, still in soothing mode. Casey relaxes again in her arms, and Alex feels her stomach flutter. Not the time, Cabot, she thinks, because Casey has been pretty clear about wanting their relationship to stay platonic aside from the whole sex thing, she couldn’t allow herself to have feelings for her. “Do you,” she ventures, unsure of whether she’ll just upset her more, “wanna talk about what happened?”

Casey scoffs, says, still quiet, “not really, it’s stupid, I should be used to it by now.”

This confuses Alex. Casey’s tough, and Alex knows that, so anything that could rattle her like that couldn’t just be something to get used to. “Used to what?” She asks, genuinely.

“Just, the office chatter, stupid comments,” Casey replies, beginning to lose her composure again out of embarrassment, but too tired to escape Alex’s firm embrace, “I overheard Calloway talking to the defense attorney when I left court today, saying something about me,” she breathes deeply, “not being what I used to be.”

Alex pulls away from the hug a few inches to look at Casey’s face. Her shoulder is wet with her tears, but she doesn’t care. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ll kick him.” Alex Cabot threatening violence never fails to get a smile out of Casey, who is drying her face off with the gym shirt again. “Calloway is a raging asshole. I will kick him for you if you want.” Her emphatic tone is cheering Casey up. Alex finds Casey’s vulnerable smiles to be completely disarming, but keeps going because she wants more. “In fact, I’ll tell him how much of an asshole he is, then I’ll kick him, then I’ll report him to McCoy for being unprofessional and gossiping, then I’ll kick him again for good measure.” Casey swats her arm and looks away to hide the heat rising in her cheeks.

“I’m serious. I. Will. Kick. John Calloway for you.” Alex’s tone shifts from angry to playful as she finishes her sentence, gratified by Casey’s weak chuckles. “Plus, he’s wrong, completely wrong. You’re fucking incredible at your job, Casey, even if you’re more cautious than you used to be. And that’s just, practicality, I mean, seriously, who does Calloway even think he is—“

Casey cuts her off with a kiss on her cheek. “Sorry, I know I’m kind of gross,” Casey says, and Alex begins to protest, “But you’re just so cute when you’re mad. Especially when you’re not mad at me.” Alex takes her hands and plays with them, suddenly aware that Casey is pretty much straddling her, on her knees, in her office. She blushes at the thought.

“Hmm,” Alex hums thoughtfully, “Well don’t get too used to it. I’m sure you’ll find some way to get under my skin soon.” She pats Casey’s thigh, signaling that she needs to get up. “Come on, let’s get out of here and get something to drink. I’m sure those files can wait til Monday,” she says, pointing at the short pile of papers on Casey’s desk. They actually really shouldn’t, but Casey wasn’t in a state to argue.

“You’re inviting me out, Cabot, after I ugly cried in your lap for ten minutes? You really are an angel,” Casey says, her quick snarky self returning.

“You’re assuming I don’t have any ulterior motives, Novak.” Alex pauses, considers herself for a moment, “Not that I’m being nice to you because I want to have sex, I mean, I do, but that’s not why,” she rambles.

Casey cuts her off with a chaste kiss. “I think I like your motives,” she says, “But I’m starving, so we’re getting dinner first.”

Alex begins to get her things together, but Casey pulls her back into a hug by the wrists, saying quietly, "Alex, thank you."

"Of course."

[studentville-struggles]

A Double Life

Chapter 5!!

A self-indulgent Daniel Ricciardo fic.

Summary: Returning to old passions results in the start of chaos and living a double life. We say we hate chaos, but the thrill is unlike anything else.

Words: 1,941

Masterlist // Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

F1 was no joke.  

PhD’s were no joke.

You were exhausted. Exhausted didn’t even begin to cover how you felt. Were you dying? Who even knew at this point.  

One monday your legs finally gave out as you were walking into university, collapsing from the exhaustion you were fighting. Thankfully you had just made it into your building, the porters quick to call a medic. You actually ended up having to take a couple of days off of lab work and go home and just spend some time sleeping and spending time with your parents. Your supervisors were so worried for your health and the stress you had been putting yourself under they pretty much banned you from the lab for a week.  

You still did the workouts you needed to and prepped for races from home. You just did everything on more than five hours sleep. The luxury. It was so damn needed.

Speaking on the phone to Lando one night, the two of you becoming closer friends since being team mates and him checking in more frequently since finding out about you collapsing, you had been joking about how nice sleep was. 

“I used to think that being ordinary was boring. Now I’d do anything for a 10 hour nap and a chippy.”

Your little exhaustion moment had scared you a little bit. You’d always managed to do everything. You could have two intense lives and work it. You had felt that for the last three years you mastered juggling a double life. Was it finally coming to crumble around you? Was this it, was the dream over?  

You wouldn’t allow it. You couldn’t. Youd fought so hard for this, to have your cake and eat it. It was never meant to be easy and you knew that, this was just one more thing to overcome. Once you had your PhD you would be able to live any life you wanted. You might even be able to sleep seven hours a night on the regular.  

You would make this double life work for a little longer, you had to.

Having re-evaluated routines and switching things up so that you could make the most of both lives whilst still being healthy, you were feeling confident, comfortable and it was growing with each race that passed. Sure, not all of the results were what you dreamed off; after all you were yet to tip Lewis off his pedestal, but you were getting there. Getting the car to do your bidding was the first half of the challenge. Now you just needed to do that, but better than every one else on the track.

The other thing to come out of your health scare; especially after some of the drivers have commented on your less deathly appearance was an interesting change in your friendship with a certain Australian.  

Sure, you had the big change from thinking he was rude to being caught smiling at his texts, to hanging out in Australia at the start of the season. That you had kind of seen coming; but this? This was unexpected, and you weren’t quite sure what to make of it currently.

After finding out about your little incident, Daniels’ entire energy changed. He was visibly concerned about you, whether you were better now, how you were doing getting everything under control for good. His reaction to discovering the in-depth extremeness of your routine having binged watched your show – he claimed it was a curious interest to occupy his flight but you knew it was to be nosey and you didn’t mind that – was even stranger He had effectively cornered you at the paddock in China with a written out list and spluttering of expletives with the general message of “what the fuck, no wonder you're exhausted.’.  

The frequency at which you two texted and chatted was steadily rising as your friendship bloomed but after his discovery of ‘the incident’, it had sky rocketed. Both in general conversation, but also in his concern for you overdoing things. He’s started to make a point, like Lewis often does, to ensure you take a bit of time for you and to relax; so movie and game nights are now a little thing you get when you meet up for a face to face catch up.

The vibes between the two of you were shifting ever so slightly and you weren’t entirely sure where there were setting themselves.

---

You were very lucky in that your family would often come to support you, especially your mum and dad. Albeit your mum couldn’t watch half of the races due to her fear that her little girl was going to be hurt, but she was there every chance she had.  

As the season progressed and you were getting some races closer to home, you felt it was about time to invite the main group of people who were yet to see this side of you. Given the intense patience and grace they had given to you, supporting you though everything and allowing your camera crew all access; it was time to invite your boss. Well your other boss. Your supervisor.

Getting back into the swing of things at work in the lab after the Spanish Grand Prix, you felt it was finally time to give back to your lab family.

“I’d like to take you to work next week, and maybe a few others once I check numbers.” Your supervisor knew what ‘work’ meant for you but with more and more people questioning your regular three day weeks, you were starting to feel like letting your two worlds collide a little more.  

“Where is work next week? Monaco?”  

“Yup. I’ll give my media team a ring and see how many we can take including hotels and go from there”  

“Including?!”  

“Full VIP, would be rude of me not to.”  

A short phone call later, with some rough numbers figured out, you had five full VIP passes at your disposal. Given you rarely have guests at Grand Prix’ they allowed a few extra tickets this time. As one would imagine with a free weekend in Monaco, the academic staff in your research group snapped up those tickets in no time. Of course, with the amount of time spent in your offices and labs, you were safely assuming three of the five had no idea what your job was, though were very curious as to how and why it was taking you to Monaco.  

Academic life was no joke. Everyone was busy, everyone had very little free time. Watching sports was only done by super fans really. There weren’t any motorsport super fans in your office and somehow both your show and driving career had still remained unquestioned. How that was true with the camera crew still following you around, you had no idea.  

You had sent out a rough, and very vague itinerary, reminding them to be ready to leave work at 6 pm on Wednesday, heading straight to the airport. You had also sent strict dress code instructions- the smarter end of smart casual, knowing that they would likely, if not definitely, be appearing on camera.  

With some of your team meeting you at the airport, ready to get your race weekend media started, the confusion of your university colleagues was growing. It peaked as they had you film a short clip to start the weekends media off, it was only a short Instagram story, post hair touch up, to say hi to fans.  

“Hey guys, just me taking over the Instagram stories! We’ve just arrived at the airport to head over to Monaco! Can’t wait to see you guys this weekend and I’ve even brought a few colleagues from the university so you’ll be seeing my two worlds collide as well! See you soon!” Waving at the camera, you cut the video. With all thumbs up from your team, you uploaded it to your team Instagram, views piling in almost immediately.  

“Rachel what the hell do you do?!”

“Oh you’ll see soon enough, I don’t want to ruin the surprise now.” You teased, surprisingly enjoying the suspense.  

Walking up to the private jet having gone through security with ease, the shock was only increasing, though you everyone was feeling very excited for the flight now they saw the plane. Things were fairly calm after this, the journey quick, smooth and you avoided giving too much away.  

Arriving at the hotel you sent everyone off to their rooms, giving timings for meeting the next morning. You would be leaving before them to start greeting the media and doing some press conferences before your track walks, and so had arranged for a few cars to be sent for transferring the rest over to the main hub. Once they were all happy with the plans, not that you’d given many details, merely timings, you could head to your room where Daniel had snuck over waiting to reunite.  

He had many complaints about spending the evening having your catch up in a hotel when he had a perfectly good home a few minutes away. At some point during the evening, after the food had been demolished, the words said and a crappy Netflix original on the tv, the two of you had fallen asleep. When you woke a couple of hours later, you were awkwardly hunched on the sofa still, somehow having entangled yourself with Daniels body.  

Realising that it was far too late to send Daniel home, you both needed sleep if you were to survive the media day, and you couldn’t send him on his way in the small hours of the morning. Trying not to wake him too harshly, you start untangling yourself from the mess of legs. With Daniel starting to stir, you grab his hand, wordlessly pulling him from the sofa, over to the hotel bed.  

Still in the silence the middle of the night brings, Daniel shed the majority of his clothing, slipping under the covers in only his underwear, with you following soon after as you quickly change into your sleepwear.  

For something so foreign in your friendship, the ease and comfort at which you snuggled together, falling asleep again under the covers, was almost unnerving. Almost. In your sleepy state, you couldn’t recognise that, only time would reveal that.  

--

Having snuck off to begin your media day trackside, you were eager to see your lab colleague's reaction to where they were. It was as you were heading back into McLarens hospitality that you, as well as the whole group, could see the full magnitude of this job and how it differed to the Rachel they were used to seeing in the office.  

“You’re a driver?”  Shock? Disbelief? You couldn’t quite tell but the reaction was  

“Yes”

“What the fuck? But you’re in the lab like 10 hours a day”

“Now you know why I don’t have time to get things done otherwise in my three-day weeks.”

Once the shock wore off, the excitement and initial questions had settled, you set the group up with timings for the day and let them wander round the paddock freely as you headed back to your meetings, promising to see them during the lunch break.  

Having your worlds united felt good. It felt as though some of the pressure you hadn’t realised was there from keeping them separate, was melting away.  Although the feeling that was beginning to bubble away every time you bumped into Daniel was very close to being a distraction.

You needed to drive; just get in the car and block everything else out. 

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 70

~*~Emma~*~

Sebastian was right. I did like hearing him moan too much. Such a deep, breathy, needy sound. I’m not sure he realized he was making the same sounds as I played guitar. Not as frequent, but still. Seemed only right I should finish what I started. Plus, he’d had a rough day.

I’d gone back to the proposal thing partly to let him off the hook, but more because I didn’t want that to happen. On our second anniversary, I was terrified Jimmy was going to ask me to marry him. My girlfriends had convinced me it was coming. Two years is the time, they said. Thank fuck they were wrong. I didn’t have a problem talking about it and Sebastian had seemed to handle it fine, but I knew the possibility of freaking out was there. Still was. A blow job and a lazy fuck would get his mind in a different place.

After our romp in the guest room, Sebastian pulled me into my bedroom and pushed me on the bed. His smile was lethal as he came for me, kissing from side to side up my body, before laying his very naked body on mine and taking over my mouth. A very long and thorough kiss later he kissed my nose, “Let’s start over at the beginning.”

Over at the beginning meant an extended period of making out, foreplay, him going down on me until I came (twice), and then some very un-lazy intercourse. All followed by collapsing in a sweaty heap. Good times.

Sebastian scooted closer and pushed me to my side where he could wrap around me. A couple of well-placed kisses on the back of my neck had me smiling and making satisfied sounds. I held onto the arms around me and turned my head enough to see him. “I love you.”

“I know you do.” He kissed me as softly as we were speaking. “I love you.”

I smiled, “I know you do.”

“What do you want to do Monday? We should do something.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I put my hand on his face and squirmed to turn where we were facing. “We should go on a date. A first date.” A first date to commemorate a month since our first date.

He smiled, “A movie.”

“Something scary so I can hide my face against your chest.” We both laughed, “Gelato after, that place we passed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Pizza before.”

“Sounds perfect.” We kissed and stayed close, breathing and being quiet.

Sebastian took a deep breath and fought a yawn, “Sorry.”

“Please.” We rearranged again and I laid my head on his shoulder, his fingers trailing along my side. “If you want to go for a run or anything before I get up there’s an extra set of keys in the entry table.” This was completely prepping for if our talk resulted in an overnight panic attack. “Wake me up if you want.”

His fingers never stopped moving, “What’s your alarm code?”

“Same as my car code.” I tilted my face up to see him. His blue eyes were drowning me. The soft look, the slight smile. I reached to play in his beard. His smile grew and mine matched it, “Whatever you need, Bastian.”

He shook his head slightly, “Just you.”

I woke up before Sebastian. I propped my head on my hand to watch him sleep. He was on his back with one arm stretched to the side and one on his stomach. The sheet covered midway up his chest. He'd gotten a little sun at his mom's yesterday on his chest and shoulders. I was excited about our beach vacation. Lay on the beach, lay by the pool, play in the pool, play in the ocean, maybe dinner on a yacht at sunset.His face showed no sign of tension and worry. I think what I’m seeing is peaceful relaxation. His cheeks were relaxed, his lips barely parted, and his eyes were twitching behind his eyelids. He was in REM sleep. Dreaming. Lying like this he looked beautiful. I wanted to run my fingers over the indentation of muscles. I wanted to put my lips to his eyelashes to feel their twitch against my lips. Run my fingertips over his shaven cheek, stroke through his beard, run a finger over his pink lips. And when he started to wake I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his first memory of the day, even before he opened his eyes, to be me kissing him.

I didn’t touch. Just watched. The eye movements increased and his face started twitching. Definitely dreaming. A few minutes later I felt like the dream wasn't a pleasant one. I carefully laid my palm on the smooth part of his cheek, barely touching skin, letting my fingertips touch the twitches. As they settled, I applied more pressure, his beard against my palm, using my thumb to caress bare skin on the line of his beard, the contrast felt good against my thumb. Whatever the dream, my touch had calmed it. Sebastian's eyes fluttered enough for me to see the blue. I moved where he could see my eyes too.

His lids lifted for a second and he licked his lips. I crept closer and pressed my awake lips to his sleeping ones. "Good morning, my love."

"Morning." Sebastian closed his eyes again and smiled. "Do that again."

I moved over him, pausing long enough for the arm on his stomach to move around me, before pressing my naked chest to his naked chest. I kissed to the right of his lips, "Good," kiss to the left, "morning," and a solid kiss to his lips, "my love."

I felt the slightest touch of his tongue, "Love waking up with you."

His fingers trailing down my spine made me shiver, "It is nice." My accent came out strong.

Sebastian laughed, "My southern belle." He put his hand on my face. "I love when it sneaks out."

"Just ask and I can conjure up a lovely accent for a weekend or so. If that would make you happy." I laid it on thick.

Sebastian squirmed happily, "Very dangerous."

"Why?" Holding on to the accent.

He shrugged, "I love southern accents. All that time shooting in Atlanta and Savannah was pleasantly painful."

"Did you get in trouble?"

"I tried. Wasn't greatly successful."

“I imagine my southern sisters were uncertain what to do with you. You're very pretty. They'd play with you, but how’s your game?"

He chuckled, "Hit or miss."

"We'll have to go south and see if you can pick me up."

"I like either of those ideas." He kissed me long, "We need to make a list."

"We can do it on the train."

I kissed him again, "Do you want breakfast before we get the train?" We didn't have a solid plan.

Sebastian shook his head, "Not super hungry right now. Just get some coffee and yogurt. You hungry?"

"Not really. Angie and I are going shopping then grabbing lunch." Sebastian had said he needed to work and I hadn't had a day with my best friend in a long time. "I'm guessing doors are at seven. It's at Bowery Ballroom, did I say that?"

"Nope. I was just going to follow you. We can walk."

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head slowly, "Not with the heels I'm wearing tonight."

Sebastian pursed his lips, "That sounds fun."

We showered and I left my hair in a towel until we were ready to go. I was stressing myself with what to pack until I remembered today was shopping. My plan was the black dress I didn't wear to dinner last time, but that could change today. Now, I was really excited.

Thankfully early morning Saturday on the metro north train wasn't busy. My guitar wasn't rush hour friendly. We tucked ourselves at the end with our backs to the rest of the car. Sebastian had easily put our stuff in the overhead bin and I found his lack of struggle sexy as hell. When he sat down, I wrapped around his bicep, "You are so hot."

He cocked his head, looking at me with a smirk, "What did I do? Mostly so I can do it again."

I kissed him chastely, "You put our bags up like they weighed nothing. The way your shirt crept up to show off your stomach. Mmmm."

"Keep being so easily impressed."

"You got it, baby." Thinking of luggage had a question pop up. "Does your building have parking?"

"Yes. My apartment has a spot. Can't remember where." He looked over, "We could have driven."

"Windows open, music turned up, singing loud."

"I'll have to find where it is. Mini road trip would be fun."

"Lots of crazy conversations on a road trip."

"And you peeing on the side of the road."

I glared at him, "You can't forget that for me?"

He shrugged, "Sounds like too much fun. We should take off and drive somewhere. Maine in the fall. Montreal, Toronto. Go to LA and drive up to Seattle."

I pulled out my phone, "We need to make that list" I went into my notes program, opened a new notebook titled “Sebastian”, and started a to do list.

Sebastian looked over my shoulder, "First was blindfolding and tying me to the bed. You want a massage with a happy ending. There were plans to wake each other up with various kinds of sex. A weekend with a very southern accent. Me trying to pick you up. Now a road trip. Beach vacation. We should call Will and Alissa, get together a plan while you’re home with me."

“Sounds good."

Sebastian took my hand to his mouth “Will you tell me what happened Tuesday?"

I had to think back to Tuesday. It seemed a very long time ago. A lot had happened since them. All good.

I smiled and took a deep breath, "Sure.” Most of what mom and I had talked about Sebastian already knew. I just filled in mom's side of the confrontation. "Her "but Amy" when I said she'd hurt me..." I trailed off and waved a hand in front of us. I didn’t know what to say.

Sebastian caught my hand, "That had to have hurt." His face showed a mix of sad and angry.

"Yes." I nodded, "More angry when she said it didn't take anything from me to watch what I say in front of Amy. She missed the whole point, and for real, it does take away from me to pretend I'm not happy. Over time what hell would that do to my self-esteem? If you act like your unimportant you start believing it. My father thinking I'd ever come back and live like that."

He snorted, "Bad idea."

"Very. I told her it wouldn't affect me because I wouldn't let it. Mom thought she'd won and we moved on. As soon as I was off the plane, I called Trevor." I smiled, "He was proud of me. I needed the validation that I wasn't overreacting or being a brat. He reminded me this wasn't really new for them and asked what had changed with me." I leaned closes to kiss him. "Wasn't a hard question. It's you."

"Me?" His smirk said he was enjoying my answer.

"Pretending I'm not happy and in love is my line. I'm not willing to hold that in." I kissed him again. "It's not right they ask me to. They should be happy that I have someone who makes me happy."

Sebastian's expression changed again. This time his eyes brightened and his features softened, "You make me happy too." The back of his fingers caressed my cheek. "Very happy."

If I wasn't already in love with him the way he was looking at me now would do it.

"What do you mean she thought she'd won?"

"The way she smiled she thought I was agreeing with what they wanted me to do. I’d muzzle myself forever because they were afraid for Amy. I’m afraid for Amy too, and I’m not a bitch, but I matter too."

“Refusing to sacrifice yourself for someone who’s not in trouble doesn’t make you a bitch.” He shrugged and I could tell he was weighing his words. “Your mom asking you to does kinda make her one. Sorry.”

I shook my head, “Nothing to be sorry about.”

He smiled, "What does it mean that you won’t let it affect you?"

He's a smart man. I shrugged, "I'm not completely sure. Right now I go back to Alpharetta a couple of times a year. I used to spend two weeks near the end of summer, but I dreaded it, so I started going first to get it over with. Now it’s less than a week. Maybe spring break. As soon as school lets out for winter break I head down and leave for Hawaii Christmas day. I don't think I’m doing that anymore."

He turned his head to the side and looked worried, "What are you going to do?"

“I’ve never not woken up in my parent’s house Christmas morning. Jimmy’s family celebrated Christmas eve so that was never a conflict. I want to spend my holiday with people who want to be with me. Really be with me and let me be happy. I’ll probably go to Hawaii early. I haven’t given it a lot of thought outside of the stink it’s going to create.” I laughed a little.

“I imagine it will.” He laughed then went serious, “You are welcome wherever I am.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem.”

“Are you going to Hawaii with me?”

His smile was back, “Just book my flight with yours.”

“What do you do for Christmas?”

“Depends. I’m not a big Christmas person. Sometimes with mom, sometimes with friends. It’s a little early for making plans.”

“A little.” We’d known each other a month and it wasn’t even July. There’d been no reason to talk about this.

Sebastian let go of my hand, put his arm around me, and kissed my head. “I sense you are a big Christmas person.”

“I love Christmas. I love decorations, presents, baking cookies, snow. Not until after Thanksgiving though. I get very excited.” Putting up the tree and setting out my obscene number of snowmen was fun.

“I think we’ll do whatever you want this Christmas. It matters more to you. And if you decide to go to your parent’s house, I’ll follow you there too. Make sure they see exactly how happy you are.”

“You’re the sweetest.” I held my thumb and forefinger an inch apart, “And a little bit petty.”

“More than a little.”

[bangtan-madi]

All Of Our Lifetimes — Four: Spicy Ramen

Pairing — Taehyung x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au

Genre — fluff, angst, crime (ish)

Word Count — 3.5k 

Summary — Does love ever truly end, or does it simply take another form in a new life? The cycle is like clockwork: your lives end and you’re reborn again. You’ve lived it over and over. Each cycle, one of you loses your memories and is tragically unaware until the other finds and awakens their lover. After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories? 

Part — 4 / 15

Warnings — language

A/N  — Taglist has been added to the bottom of the post. It’s open for anyone who wants to be added! Comment, message, or ask and I’ll get you on there :)

Previous — Next

That night, you dream a different dream.

It's not full of death or murder, of the art museum or the crimson fountain, of fear and loss. This dream is full of new love and wishes, of magic and freedom, of Paris and the Chateau. It ends with a kiss instead of blood. It leaves you feeling rested instead of exhausted.

And it's the first time it's happened in this lifetime.

You wake, not in a cold sweat but in a hazy daze, with a tingling sensation on your lips. And despite the justifications you try to use to make sense of it all, that feeling remains there the whole morning.

It's enough to distract you for hours. From brushing your teeth to crossing the street to grabbing coffee, you're frazzled and dreamy all at once. 

"Say you'll come. Say you'll run away with me."

His words echo over and over in your mind. The boy in last night's dream, though younger than you've seen him, is the exact same one as you usually see. And he's Kim Taehyung. You might've been doubting yourself before, but this time you're sure of it.

"I'll go anywhere with you."

Your resolve strengthens as you enter Big Hit HQ, scanning your employee badge to gain access to the elevator. You did make the right choice to move to Seoul, to get this job, to risk it all for answers. Half of you had started to believe you were going insane...but after that dream?

You haven't lost your mind. In fact, you're closer to having a full grasp on the truth than you've ever been.

The morning passes quickly, and eventually, you're able to muster enough focus to get some of your to-dos handled early on. The office is almost completely bare on Sunday. You weren't surprised; most of your coworkers were probably at home relaxing, enjoying their last day off before the Monday madness. But you knew this coming week was going to pick up due to Map of the Soul: 7. If you could go down the list and get ahead of the curve, you knew that future-[Y/n] would thank you by Wednesday.

What you don't expect is to have Director Hyeon pop her head into your office just as you settle back into your chair with a cup of instant noodles.

"Knock knock!" she announces cheerily, eying your lunch. "Sorry, didn't realize you'd taken lunch. I can come back—"

You shake your head and put your chopsticks down. "—No, please! What can I help you with, Director?"

"You're part of the Big Hit family now, call me Misun," she insists with a smile. "I was actually hoping I might find you here. I have a few people I want you to meet, and the baren weekend office is absolutely perfect. Can you spare a few minutes?"

"Um, sure!" 

You push away from your desk and follow the petite woman to the common area down the hall. It's a space with cafeteria tables, lounge chairs, and a full kitchen for staff to use on their breaks. Usually, it's packed full of people for the two hour period around which most people take their lunch. However, due to the weekend, it seems that only a handful of people are using it.

But today's handful isn't your usual coworkers. You recognize most of them, but not from work. Well, not exactly. 

Your legs freeze and your eyes go wide, realizing that the entire band has decided to make themselves at home in the lounge and prep for a mid-day meal. Jin and Jungkook are puttering on the other side of the counter, searching the cabinets for pots and pans. Jimin and Taehyung are unloading a few bags worth of groceries onto the island. Namjoon is talking with two older men, whom you assume are their mangers. Hoseok and Yoongi are sitting on the bar stools at the island, laughing abut something on Hoseok's phone.

The entire group is oblivious to your entrance, but Misun waves down one of the older men and pulls him from his conversation with Namjoon. She gestures to you as he approaches.

"Sejin, this is [Y/n] [Y/l/n]," she introduces. "She's our new production assistant. [Y/n], this is Kim Sejin. He's the band's primary manager."

Sejin flashes a smile and casually bows as a greeting. "Nice to meet you, [Y/n]."

You mirror his polite gesture. "Likewise, Manager Sejin."

"I was hoping that Sejin might be able to introduce you to the boys," Misun explains. "That way you can get to know them before we start filming next week."

"I saw that on the schedule," you add. "That's for 'Run,' right?"

Misun nods. "I know it's only your second week, but it would be good for you to get a feel of the production side. No better place to do that then in the chaos that is 'Run BTS!'"

"I agree," Sejin says. "Especially since we all have to fly out on the 18th to go back to the U.S. for the Grammys and their various public appearances. Fallon, Corden, it's going to be a busy few weeks. And I just found out that a couple of the assistants we usually take are unavailable. I was hoping, if you think you're ready, you might be willing to come to America with us?"

He ends it as a question, clearly giving you the option to say no. Realizing this is the best chance to get the answers you're searching for, you smile confidently and give an assured nod.

"You can count on me. Besides, I speak both languages fluently. I could be more than just a production assistant."

"Then it's settled!" Misun claps her hands, catching the attention of some of the boys, who give various looks of intrigue. "Sejin, get everyone acquainted. Even if it's just for a half-hour if your schedule allows nothing else. I have a committee meeting to get to, so I'll leave you with that."

As Misun exits the room, Sejin nods his head towards the rest of the group, a polite smile on his face. "C'mon. I'll introduce you."

You swallow visibly, your gaze shifting from the manager to the boys in the background. Particularly to the one already looking intently your way. Curly dark hair and deep brown eyes, you'd know this particular face anywhere.

"Everyone," Sejin calls, getting the attention of the others, particularly to Jungkook and Jin who are bickering over how to properly cook ramen, "I have someone I want you to meet." He gestures to you. "This is [Y/n] [Y/l/n]. She was hired last week as a production assistant. She's going to be on-scene for tomorrow's Run filming, and she's going to come with us to the States."

He turns back to you and gestures to each of the boys in turn. "[Y/n], these are Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok, and Kim Taehyung. And the wonderful man behind them is Song Hobeom, another of the band's managers. You'll be working with him a lot as well."

Each of the boys waves politely, and some say hello aloud. They seem a bit shy and reserved, which isn't something you expected from them—if you expected anything at all.

You return the gesture, flashing a small smile and saying, "Nice to meet you all," in your best natural, Seoul dialect. God, you wanted to make a good first impression.

"Are you American?" Seokjin asks abruptly.

Jimin turns to the eldest member with wide eyes, muttering something along the lines of, "Don't be so rude." Yoongi merely rolls his eyes at his hyung, and Hoseok gives an apologetic look in your direction.

"No, it's okay," you reply, knowing that you probably were going to get this question at some point, despite your efforts. "I am. I only moved to Seoul a little over a week ago, but don't let my looks fool you. I've been speaking Korean for years."

"She's fluent in both languages," Sejin nods. "I see her being a huge help, especially to you, Namjoon."

Namjoon is the first to walk over and greet you with a wide grin, showing off his dimples in the process. He extends his hand in an American-style greeting, obviously happy to meet you half-way.

"Welcome to Seoul," he states in perfect English, his accent slightly lilted in a region you can't quite specify. "I hope we haven't put you off too badly already, but if you can forgive our—" he nods over his shoulder towards Seokjin, "—brashness, then I have to say: you and your bilingual skills are more than welcome here."

His comment makes you chuckle as you retract your hand. Seeing that everything is going well, the managers take their leave to their respective offices, telling them they need to work out a few more details for the shoot tomorrow. 

Already feeling more at ease, you change your language to his as to reciprocate the same respect. "I'm sure you get pretty damn tired translating all the time."

The lilac-haired man groans and slouches his shoulders. "You have no idea!" Turning towards the group, he waves you over. "Misun mentioned something about interrupting your lunch break as she left. Jin and Jungkook make the best ramen. As an apology, join us for lunch?"

"Hope she can take the heat," Seokjin chuckles, wiggling his eyebrows. "I've found that most Americans aren't used to Korean-level spices."

You cross your arms and flash a confident look. "Is that a challenge?"

"It is if you want it to be."

Jungkook groans, "Hyung, be nice!"

At that, Seokjin merely rolls his eyes. 

"Keep rolling your eyes," Yoongi chimes in with a smirk. "Maybe you'll find a brain up there."

Before the eldest can muster a sarcastic response to the next-oldest member's comment, you shake your head. "No, no, I got this. My best friend at home is Korean-American, so I basically grew up with Korean food through her. I'm used to it."

Both Jimin and Hoseok give cheers of approval, the latter pulling out a stool for you to sit on between him and Taehyung. You gladly take the chair but are off-put by Taehyung's continued silence and apprehensive aura. He continues to throw glances your way, the odd expression never quite leaving his face, though he attempts to mask it.

"She's got more balls than you when it comes to spicy food, Seokjin," Hoseok laughs.

Looking offended, Seokjin places his hands on his hips in a sassy manner. "Oh, really? I'll bet you 100,000 won that I can outdo the new girl. You and me, Jagiya: a competition of who can eat the spiciest ramen. You in?"

The other boys turn and stare expectantly in your direction, even Namjoon who is clearly apprehensive about the first impression they're giving you.

You rest your elbows on the counter and your chin on your folded hands, giving off an aura of confidence and ease. "Bring on your worst, Kim."

"Oooh, you're going to wish you hadn't said that." Seokjin grabs the large cooking spoon from the counter with a sly grin, waving it at the youngest member. "Step aside, Kookie. This is a job for Worldwise Handsome Master Chef."

Jungkook raises his hands in defeat and scurries back to the group, perching on the stool nearest the oven. 

"Dear god, what have you done?" Yoongi asks.

"You've awakened the competitive monster inside Jin," Hoseok states, turning to you. "There's no stopping him now. Start praying to the Scoville gods, [Y/n]!"

Namjoon looks completely done with his members, especially Jin, as he runs a hand through his colorful hair with a groan. "Seokjin, this was supposed to be an apology for being abrasive and standoffish, now you're making things worse."

Seokjin shrugs, giving an innocent look as he begins boiling the noodles on the stove. "She, quite literally, asked for it. And who am I to deny a pretty lady what she wants?"

The youngest member, along with Jimin and Yoongi, groan at Seokjin's attempts to be suave, making you chuckle all the more.

"You're quite the charmer, aren't you?"

The brunet gives you a playful wink. "You haven't seen anything yet, Jagiya."

Taehyung shifts in his chair at Seokjin's words, and Hoseok turns to face you as pots and pans clatter in the kitchen. "Well, since he's in the middle of losing his mind, tell us a bit about yourself?"

You do just that. You share a little bit about where you're from, what you studied, your home, friends and family, interests outside of work and the like. A bit of everything is covered. Most of the group reciprocates throughout the conversation. You end up learning just as much about them as they do about you. You might've started out nervous and shy, but the more you converse and the more time you spend with them, you realize they're just normal twenty-somethings. Sure, they're famous and on another level creatively, but in the end, they're ordinary guys.

"Why are you putting the beef in the oven?" you inquire of the oldest a little while later. "There's no part of ramen that requires an oven. At least, not that I've seen."

"Because if I bake the beef with the spices, the heat goes up by a thousand!" Seokjin raises his chin triumphantly as he slides the pan into the oven. "It's my secret, and I am the chef, so don't question my genius."

Yoongi snickers, "I think we can agree there's only one true genius in this group, and that's Namjoon."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Which one of us is the only one to have a bachelor's degree and is currently working towards a master's?"

Your eyes widen. "Wow, that's actually really impressive!"

Seokjin looks like a showy bird at the compliment. "See? Impressive. I like you. You can stay."

"But you're still going to make her eat your noodles of pain?" Jimin laughs.

"Absolutely! I have my honor to protect. No going back now." He leans down to see the selections on the oven. "So, I can either bake it at 200 degrees Celcius for 10 minutes or 2000 degrees for 1 minute."

The youngest's eyes bulge with concern. "No, that's not how you use the oven."

"Floor it?"

"No!"

"How about 2,000,000 degrees for one second?"

"Kim Seokjin, you are going to burn the entire office down!"

"Relax, it won't work, you idiots."

"I'm going to harness the fucking sun to make this ramen!"

"Annnd there goes any form of a good first impression, down the drain with Seokjin's dignity."

You burst into laughter, nearly falling off your stool in the process. Taehying grabs your arm before you fall, and Hoseok stabilized your chair. Wiping the tears of laughter from your eyes, you thank them both.

"I haven't had this good of a time in a while," you giggle as Seokjin finishes the last details of the ramen.

"At least we can provide entertainment," Yoongi states sarcastically. "We're not usually this bad, I swear."

Namjoon agrees, "We're all a bit tired from New Year's Rockin' Eve and the Golden Disk Awards."

"Not to mention both before and after that has been non-stop work on the comeback," Hoseok adds. 

"Even if you were, I wouldn't mind," you reply, placing your palms against your cheeks. "My face hurts from smiling and laughing for so long."

"Well get ready for another level of pain, because voila!" Seokjin slides a bowl of ramen in front of you, handing you a soup spoon and a set of chopsticks. "Get ready to hurt, [Y/n]. You're going down."

Less than half an hour later, you're beaming with pride and 100,000 won richer than before. Seokjin has raised his white flag of surrender in the form of a napkin, his face flushes scarlet from the spice. It seems he'd overdone it while trying to ensure your defeat. Needless to say, he completely underestimated your ability to eat—and enjoy, to his horror—the so-called "noodles of pain."

"Thanks for lunch, Jin!" you cheered after finishing your second helping. "That really hit the spot."

Seokjin leans against the counter and continues to press a small bag of crushed ice to his face. "You're not human."

The afternoon wraps up as the others finish their portions. Luckily for them, they'd all been given ramen made with a normal recipe instead of Seokjin's deathwish version. Manager Sejin returns after a couple of hours and tells the boys that they have to get a few more hours of practice in before the day's over.

"I need to get a couple of things wrapped up, too, so no worries," you say nonchalantly. "You guys go have fun."

"We need to do this again," Jungkook says cheerily, nodding a shy goodbye before following Sejin.

"I agree, this was a blast! Especially seeing Seokjin actually lose when it was his own cooking," Jimin chuckles. "See you tomorrow, [Y/n]!"

You wave after them, and Yoongi shakes his head as he turns to Seokjin. "You just had to go and try to show off, didn't you?"

"Shut up."

You put some new crushed ice into another bag and offer it to the oldest member with an apologetic smile. "One for the road?"

He takes it with a grateful expression, eyes soft despite the playful bickering going around. "You're all right, [Y/l/n]. You can stay."

Yoongi claps his hyung on the shoulder, nodding in agreement. "Jin's right. You sure you still want to travel with us?"

Nodding fervently, you reply, "Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Hoseok walks towards you, arms opened slightly. "Are you okay with hugs?"

"Of course!"

Hoseok eagerly wraps his arms around your shoulders, and you can feel the infectious giddiness that fills him like sunshine personified.

"Hobiii!" Jimin calls from down the hall.

"The third-oldest pulls back, flashes a smile, then turns towards the others while shouting, "Hobi coming, Hobi coming!"

Namjoon walks over to you as Hoseok slips down the hall. The only other person still in the room is Taehyung, who lingers by the door. His eyes shift between the other member and you, a torn expression on his face. You'd be lying if you said you don't feel similarly on the inside. There will be a time to ask the questions you so desperately want answers to, but today isn't that day. It might ruin what you've created with the band, and that's the last thing you want to do.

The leader extends a hand, a piece of paper in his palm. "In case you need to get ahold of any of us, or if you just want to talk. I think I can trust you not to put these on social media."

You take the note and unravel it, seeing nine sets of telephone numbers with corresponding initials beside them. "Oh, wow! You trust me that much already?"

He nods. "We all got a good vibe from you, and Sejin says we'll need to work with you on socials and whatnot. It'd be easier to just give you our directs instead of working through him or Manager Hobeom every time, although I did include their numbers as well."

"All of you?" you clarify, eying the figure still lingering by the door, attention now on his cell phone. "I don't think he likes me very much. He hasn't said a single word to me."

Namjoon knows exactly who you're referring to, even without looking behind him. His voice lowers as he responds, "Taehyung has been dealing with a lot lately. We all have, but he's been exhausted and hasn't been sleeping well. And..." 

He trails off, shaking his head. "Nevermind. My point is, don't take his reclusive behavior too seriously. Taehyung is as kind as they come, but he might take a little while to warm up to you. That's just his nature, and his resting face is pretty intimidating." Namjoon taps the piece of paper. "Maybe try texting him. He's usually pretty good about responding there. Might feel more comfortable."

You fold the paper and slide it into your pocket, giving the lilac-haired man a nod and smile. "Thanks, Namjoon. And thank you for being so open to a newcomer. I know it can't be easy, letting someone else close to such a tight-knit group."

His dimples reappear at your words of gratitude. "I don't know what it is about you, but I feel we can trust you. So don't thank me." As he turns, he glances over his shoulder and murmurs, "Give Taehyung time. He'll come around."

Heaving a sigh of relief, you nod back at him. God, you hope he's right. 

When your eyes shift towards the exit, you see Taehyung slipping into the hallway ahead of Namjoon, disappearing into the dark.

Taglist — @just-call-me-trash-can​

[herpinklush]

Things you need to do Every Sunday— For a productive week

Who doesn’t love Sundays!

I feel like it is such a refreshing day. Sundays for those walks in the park, family time and some great food.

For me, Sunday is the most important day of the week. This is the reason why i do not prefer cheat meals on a Sunday.

Cheat meal for me is —full of fried and oily and white flour stuff, which just makes me feel sleepy after having that.

Most of the people take Sunday as a “relaxation day”

Well, i actually take Sundays as a prepatory day of the week.

Although this was never my attitude before towards Sundays. For years , i have just dreaded this day.

In my younger years, it was meant the only day off from school, while in adulthood it only meant a day away from a hectic work week.

I actually came to a realization that i was living for the weekend. But not today!

Today i structure my Sunday in a way to prepare myself or the week ahead.

Here’s what i started doing on Sundays— to make my week a productive one.

LIST IT!

LIST IT!

&

LIST IT!

(Ohh nevermind my bebo way)

Trust me, there is nothing more satisfying than writting a list on a Sunday morning and then ticking the items off one by one in the afternoon.

& Guess what? You’re totally prepared for the week

MEAL PREP

Specially for the people who live alone meal prep list will save so much time and offcourse Money! So defrost those peas for monday, peel those potatoes for tuesday. Prepare a chicpea pasta for wednesday & so on.

CLEAN

Ok! I am not much into cleanliness. Guilty. But my mate is. At least we try to clean the house before going at bed.

Since i belong to typical indian family, i know how to clean and mop the floor very well. I don’t need any external help for that .

Laundry & folds into the closet is what i tend to skip then but not now. Trust me, you feel great the next day when you will find everything at its place.

PREPARE HANDBAG

I don’t know about you but this is the most satisfying thing for me. As i literally get everything in my bag. From disposible coffee stirrer to ketchup and sugar saches (picked up from random coffee shops) to half eaten chocolates. (Gross, i know)

I also don’t know how 5lipsticks end up in one bag at the end of the week. But whatever!

Cleaning my handbag is therapautic for me. Get rid of thoses bills which i tend to keep safe. Lol! Yeah.

You feel so much better digging in a clean bag the next day.

SELF CARE

Self care is the key! An absolute must for a Sunday to get oneself scrubbed. Pop on the amazing AccuRadio List. Pluck those brows, put on the face mask , take a nice cold shower and get into fresh PJ’s.

Do my nails, some room freshner required and i dig into my Amazon Prime.

Sakuntala Devi my recent watched.

It can be really easy to ley the week run away with you. A productive week starts with a productive Sunday. I hope sharing my routine helps you in building up youe perfect Sunday. Don’t forget to share your Sunday Schedule with me.

Till then,

Love & Light

#herpinklush

[poetloveses]

I Think You’re Adorable

Hardison rests his head on his hands as he listens to Eliot going on about things in the brew pub kitchen. Eliot was about to leave to help his friend, Toby, at the culinary institute. A while back they helped Toby get the institute back after it was taken over by a greedy owner who dealt with illegally taken French truffles. Toby was going to be leaving on a trip for a month and asked Eliot to teach while he was gone. That meant Eliot would be in and out of the brew pub for the month. Hardison looked up when he felt Eliot’s eyes on him. “What,” asked Hardison.

“Are you even listening to a word I’ve said,” asked Eliot.

“Yeah,” replied Hardison. “You said something about cooking or something.”

“Dammit, Hardison. I am going to be busy with the culinary institute. I don’t have time to make sure you don’t screw things up here,” replied Eliot angrily.

“Now that is just hurtful. I would never do anything to mess this up,” replied Hardison shockingly.

“I mean it, Hardison. Don’t go adding anything to the menu without my approval. Do I have to remind you of one of your first menu ideas, pineapple and anchovy on the same pizza,” replied Eliot.

“Sorry, it was my mistake. I thought our customers would enjoy a more refined menu. You just don’t have my vision,” replied Hardison.

“Hardison…” Eliot was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Don’t worry, Aimee and I will keep him in line,” Parker said as she came up behind Hardison.

“Babe, I don’t need to be watched like a child,” Hardison said as he gave Parker a kiss.

“Hardison, just don’t change anything,” Eliot said as he grabbed his phone that had started ringing. He answered it as he grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. “I’m on my way,” he said into the phone as he walked out of the door.

Eliot walked into the kitchen of the culinary institute. He loved places like this. Eliot ran his hand along the kitchen counter. The kitchen was one of the few places he felt the most comfortable.

Eliot walked down the hallway following the sound of voices. He walked into the classroom. He remembers the last time he was here. He had to deal with rich students who didn’t have the same passion when they started as most culinary students, and Hardison.

Eliot looked around the room and saw Toby standing near the front of the room talking to some of his students. Toby waved to Eliot and excused himself from the conversation he was having with the students. Toby walked over to Eliot and greeted him.

“Eliot, I’m so glad you could help me with my classes while I’m gone. Thank you so much,” Toby said.

“It’s no problem, Toby. I would do anything to help you out. The way you helped me all those years ago,” replied Eliot.

“Oh, stop, Eliot. All I did was teach how to create with food,” said Toby.

“You kept me from falling into a dark hole. One, I would never have been able to crawl out of. If it wasn’t for you and Nate, I don’t know where I would be,” Eliot paused, “I could never repay you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

“Alright, let’s talk about a few things before I head out,” replied Toby. He led Eliot to the small group of students he was talking to when Eliot walked in. “Class, I want you to meet one of my good friends, Eliot. He is going to be teaching you while I’m gone,” Toby said to the students. Then he turned to Eliot and introduced the students, they were all around 16 and 17. “Eliot, this is Kara, Oscar, Henry, Taylor, and Dylan.”

Eliot shook each of their hands and said, “Nice to meet you.”

“You’ll be working with them and a few other students on Tuesdays and Fridays. I have another group who comes in on Mondays and Wednesdays.” Dylan interrupted Toby saying, “Yeah, the ones who can afford to pay.”

Toby gave Dylan a look and continued, “On Thursdays I usually check on the restaurant, but you don’t have worry about mine. I have a former student who owns his own place checking on it from time to time. You can spend that day at your place.”

Eliot walked Toby to his car. As Toby got into his car, he said, “I know this place is in good hands, and don’t mind Dylan, he gets a little worked up about things, but he shouldn’t give you any trouble.” Eliot nodded as he closed the door. He watched as Toby drove off and then he headed inside.

Eliot walked into the classroom where a few more students had arrived. They were talking amongst themselves, but they all got quiet as soon as they saw Eliot. One of the new students whispered, “He’s our new teacher?” to Taylor who was right next to him.

“Yes, I’ll be your teacher for the next month,” replied Eliot. Taylor laughed as his friend looked embarrassed at being overheard by Eliot.

“You don’t look much like a chef,” replied Dylan.

“It is not my full-time job. It is my passion. I learned a little in high school, but Toby taught me how to create,” replied Eliot.

“What is your full-time job,” asked another one of the new students.

“That is not important. I am here to teach you while Toby is away,” replied Eliot.

The students all nodded their heads except Dylan who was eyeing Eliot suspiciously.

“Alright, I got a few of your names while Toby was here. Would you three introduce yourselves,” Eliot said looking at the new students.

They introduced themselves. First was Kevin, the boy next to Taylor. Rosie was next to say her name, she was the one who asked Eliot about his job. And last was Everleigh, she was the last new student who hadn’t spoken yet.

“Good. For those who don’t know, my name is Eliot. You may call me that, Chef, or Chef Eliot. Got it,” said Eliot.

They all nodded. Then Eliot said, “Okay, since I’m new here, we’re going to start off with the basics. I want to see what you know. I want each of you to grab an onion from the basket and show me your knife skills.”

Everyone started grabbing onions except Dylan. He just stared at Eliot. “Is there a problem, Dylan,” asked Eliot.

“What’s the point of this,” replied Dylan, “We already know how to cut fruits and vegetables.”

“I am sure you do,” replied Eliot, “I am sure Toby taught you all well. But I don’t know what you know. So, please just humor me. Then one day you’ll be able to chop like this.” Eliot demonstrated his knife skills on an onion.

All the students watched in wonder at how fast Eliot cut the onion. “Now it’s your turn,” he told them. They all grabbed their onions with no complaints this time. Eliot watched as they cut for the rest of class. He gave them each help as it was needed. When the class was over, he had a basic understanding of where their strengths and weaknesses were. As they left, he told them goodbye and he would see them Friday for their next class.

After three classes with the teenagers, Eliot was confident in their skills. He was less than thrilled with the report he was getting from Parker and Aimee about Hardison. He spent his second Thursday fixing all Hardison’s mistakes. Now he had to head back to the school for his fourth session with the teenagers. The previous class, he told them they would be working in the kitchen that day. He knew walking into the school he had a few moments to relax as the students were prepping in the kitchen.

Eliot walked down the hallway and saw a boy, no older than thirteen, sitting on the bench outside the classroom. Looked around and saw no one else there. The boy looked terrified as Eliot approached. Eliot looked at the boy and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” the boy stammered out, “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to sit here. I’ll go.” The boy fumbled with his things as he got up.

“Whoa, take it easy. I just wanted to know why you were sitting here. I didn’t say you had to leave,” Eliot said as he helped the boy with his things.

“You’re not security,” asked the boy. Eliot shook his head no. The boy looked relieved not to be getting kicked out.

“What’s your name,” asked Eliot.

“Gabriel, but my friends call me Gabe,” replied the boy.

“Hi, Gabe. My name is Eliot,” replied Eliot. Eliot noticed some writing on a piece of paper he had picked off the ground. It looked like a recipe for soup. “Do you like to cook,” he asked as he handed the paper back to Gabe.

“Yeah, but I’m not very good,” Gabe replied as he took the paper from Eliot.

“Why aren’t you in Toby’s class,” Eliot asked.

“Not old enough,” replied Gabe.

“How old are you,” asked Eliot.

“Twelve,” said Gabe, “You have to be fourteen and in high school.”

“Oh,” said Eliot. He could see the disappointment in his eyes. “Hey, I have a little bit before I have to go maybe I can give you a few tips.”

“Really,” asked Gabe. He seemed excited to have Eliot show him some things.

Eliot was showing Gabe some tricks to make his soup better. They didn’t realize the time was getting away from them. They were talking about ingredients that pair well together, when the door opened. “Chef, are you in here,” asked the person walking through the door.

Dylan stopped when he saw Eliot and Gabe. “Gabe, I told you to sit on the bench and wait for mom. You shouldn’t be bothering people,” Dylan said a few seconds later.

“Sorry, Dyl,”replied Gabe.

“It’s alright,” said Eliot, “I invited him in to learn a few things. I guess I lost track of time.” Eliot looked at the two brothers. “Gabe can come to the kitchen and watch while he waits for your mom.”

“Are you sure,” asked Dylan. Eliot nodded and the three of them headed down to the kitchen.

After class, Eliot was finishing some last minute cleaning. Dylan was helping Gabe gather his things. Their mom never came to pick Gabe up. He could see Gabe really enjoyed the class. Dylan and Gabe walked over to Eliot before they left. “Thank you for letting me stay,” Gabe said.

“No problem,” replied Eliot. “Anytime you want to come back, you are more than welcome.”

“Really,” asked Gabe excitedly.

“Sure,” replied Eliot.

“Thank you,” replied Dylan as he led Gabe out of the door.

Eliot was prepping for dinner service after the lunch group had left the pub. He had only tonight and the weekend to get caught up on everything that was happening in the pub while he was at the school. He wished Thursdays were more relaxing, but there seemed to be more work for him than any other day of the week.

Eliot wasn’t just prepping for dinner, he had to plan for class tomorrow. Those kids were great cooks and he couldn’t wait to show them what he had planned for them. He hated admitting he liked teaching them. Gabe had shown up and stayed for class again on Tuesday. The boy seemed eager to learn.

Eliot was walking out of the freezer, when Aimee came into the kitchen. He nearly ran into her. “Sorry,” he said as he stopped.

“That’s okay,” Aimee replied. “How are things going in here?”

Usually there are three or four chefs prepping, but some days Eliot liked to do things alone. He enjoyed his quiet time in the kitchen. “Everything is great,” replied Eliot.

“That’s good,” said Aimee. 

Eliot thought she would leave after he answered her, but she just stood there looking around. “Is there something else I can help you with,” he asked her.

“Oh, yeah. There is someone looking for you in the pub,” Aimee replied.

“Okay,” said Eliot questioningly. Aimee had this slight smile on her face. It kind of made he nervous about who could be asking for him.

Eliot took off his apron and followed Aimee out into the pub dining room. Then he saw him sitting at a booth by the window. Eliot walked over and sat down.

“What are you doing here, Gabe,” Eliot asked.

Gabe looked up at Eliot. “I just needed to get out of the house and didn’t know where else to go,” replied Gabe.

“How did you get here? Does your family know you’re know where you are,” Eliot asked.

“I took a bus to the school, but no one was there. I remembered you talking about this place, so I took a bus from there to here. I was hoping you would be here,” answered Gabe.

Eliot waited, but Gabe didn’t answer the second question. “Gabe, does your family know you’re gone,” Eliot asked a little differently than the first time.

Gabe shook his head no. He spoke softly with tears in his eyes and said, “No. My mom was on the phone fighting with Dylan. I don’t know what it was about, but I hate when they fight.”

Eliot relaxed a bit. “It’s okay, what about your dad,” asked Eliot.

“I don’t know much about him. He left when I was little,” replied Gabe.

Eliot nodded. “Okay, you can stay here, but you have to help out around here. And I’m going to have to call your family,” Eliot told Gabe.

Gabe nodded and said, “Okay.” 

Eliot was cleaning up the kitchen. Gabe was helping finish up with the last meal of the night. The Brew Pub was closed and most of the kitchen and waitstaff had gone home for the night. The only people left were Eliot, Gabe, Hardison, Parker, and Aimee. They were waiting for Dylan to come pick up Gabe.

Eliot had called Gabe and Dylan’s mom hours earlier, but got her voicemail. He left a message and let her know Gabe was safe and where he was. He gave her his number and told her to call him when she got the message. It was a short while ago that Dylan called him back. Dylan didn’t say and Eliot didn’t ask why it took so long for someone to call. Dylan just said he would come and pick Gabe up.

Eliot turned to Gabe and asked, “You ready?”

Gabe nodded and they grabbed the food. Gabe following Eliot into the dining room. They took the food and placed it on the table. Eliot told Aimee to stop sweeping and join them. “You don’t have to tell me twice. It smells amazing,” replied Aimee.

They had just started eating, when there was a knock on the door. “It must be your brother,” Eliot said to Gabe.

Eliot got up and let Dylan into the pub. Gabe stood up and went over to Dylan. Dylan grabbed him and hugged him. “We were so worried about you,” Dylan said.

“I’m sorry,” replied Gabe.

Eliot said, “We were just about to eat, why don’t you join us?”

Dylan replied, “Our mom is waiting, we probably should head home.”

“Do we have to go now? I helped make it,” said Gabe.

Dylan looked at Gabe and saw his face. He always had a hard time saying no to him. Eliot said, “We have plenty. Stay and eat. Then we can pack some up to take to your mom.”

Dylan said, “Okay,” and walked with Gabe over to the table. Aimee pulled a chair over for Dylan.

While they ate, Dylan told them why it took so long for him to call back. When he got home, their mom started asking him some questions. After a half hour, he told her he was going to go check on Gabe, but didn’t find him in the bedroom. He asked their mom if she knew where he was and she said she didn’t. She thought he was in his room. He said he is not there. They started to worry. 

Dylan called around to see if anyone had seen him. They even went to the neighbors, but no one had seen him. Dylan checked his voicemail, but had no calls. Their mom’s phone had died and she was charging it. They checked her phone and that is when they saw the voicemail from Eliot. 

They had all finished eating and Aimee started clearing the table. “I’ll help you,” said Gabe. He knew the next thing Dylan was going to ask was why he took off.

As Gabe was helping Aimee clean up and pack food for their mom, Eliot said, “Dylan, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Dylan nodded and they walked over to private corner. When he was sure no one could hear, Eliot said, “Gabe told me he left because he could hear you and your mom fighting. And I can tell that is a fresh bruise on your face. What happened?”

Dylan looked down at the floor. Then he said, “My mom and I were fighting because I got fired from work. My mom needs my help to pay the bills and every penny counts. It is not my fault I got fired. A guy punched me when I tried to stop my coworker from stealing and he told my boss I attacked him and I was stealing. My boss believed him. Now I have to find another job and I may have to drop out of school and Toby’s class.”

“Don’t do that,” Eliot said. “You know, we could use some help in the back. I can’t put you on the grill yet, but I could use help with prep and clean up. And Gabe could come hang out when needed. Tuesdays and Fridays will be your days off so you can keep learning from Toby.”

“Really? Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me,” Dylan said and gave Eliot a hug. 

Eliot smiled and he hugged him back. He stopped as soon as he felt everyone was watching them. He turned and looked for Gabe. “Come on, Gabe, Dylan’s ready to go,” he said.

Eliot walked them to the door and told them goodnight. Dylan thanked him again and told him, he would see him in class tomorrow.

Eliot closed the door. When he turned around, Parker, Hardison, and Aimee were watching him. He could read their expressions. “Whatever you are thinking, don’t say it,” Eliot said.

Hardison had a big grin on his face and said, “I’m not saying a word. But…” Before he could finish his thought, Eliot gave him a stern look and pointed his finger at him.

Aimee grabbed her jacket and headed to the door. “I’ll see you all tomorrow,” she said. She was standing next to Eliot about to head out the door, when she paused and said, “I think you’re adorable.” Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed out the door.

[pisati]

the neuropsych assessment this morning was long and kind of awkward. I think my examiner was training, since we had someone observing. there were a lot of tests, most of which I think I did well on. 

the examiners at one point tried to keep me from being frustrated at my own memory by assuring me that “many people that are educated like yourself want to do well at tests like these and they get upset when they don’t. you’re not supposed to do perfect, and there’s no way to! that’s the whole point.” here’s the thing, though: I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I wasn’t trying to ace it like a test. I was just trying to do my best. but my “best” right now, especially with storing new verbal information, is piss fucking poor. I can tell it’s seriously diminished from where it used to be. I could see why they thought I was upset that I did really badly, but it wasn’t because of some need to do well on tests. it was because I know I’ve done better. I guess that’s what I was there for.

I’m glad I did horribly at some of those memory tasks, though. that should be a huge red flag. someone my age shouldn’t be so bad at remembering details from a story with like 5 sentences, or words in a list. or a sequence of 6 or so numbers, backwards. I met with the doctor before the tests and described my whole situation to him, and tried to describe some of the problems I was having. the key issues right now are short-term memory (things my mom tells me to do, appointments, even my day-to-day. I won’t remember any of it if it’s not written down) and words in general. I trip over my own tongue, I get that tip-of-the-tongue feeling a lot more than I used to, I mix up words (lately I noticed I’ve been having a lot of trouble with sentences that have 3+ people involved: “I told him I showed you what he sent”)... and overall I’ve noticed that thinking in general feels like it takes up too much energy. I told the doctor that it’s actually been kind of a happy side effect that I haven’t been having depressive episodes for as long because I don’t have the energy to be sad for too long and I also can’t remember what I was so upset about. I don’t have the energy to focus on it. that’s nice and all when it comes to depression, but not so nice when it applies to everything else too. anything thought-intensive is exhausting for me now. I told him it feels like pulling on the ripcord on a lawnmower that wants to start but just can’t. 

hopefully I’ll have my results in a few weeks and I’ll have tangible, research-backed proof that I’m not making this up. people keep trying to assure me I’m fine when I know I’m not. it may not seem like a big deal because all of these things are only somewhat inconvenient; I’m not losing chunks of time or blacking out or anything. but it’s getting harder and harder to function, and I’m at a time in my life where I’m supposed to be doing more and more. I can tell it’s been getting worse and the fact that no one is taking me seriously (besides maybe a small handful of my doctors) just means that it’ll have to get to the point where I’m suffering actual memory loss to get anyone to do something about it. and by then where would I be health-wise? how much fucking worse do I have to get? how sick is sick enough? at least with this I’ll hopefully be able to get someone to look further into it. 

I worry about my energy levels too. by the end of next month I may be starting a new job, which means I’ll have to be a functioning person most days of the week again. I still don’t feel ready, even though I’ve had a whole year basically lying in bed. I’ve had things to do pretty much every day for the better part of the last week (at least I think so. I can’t remember), and I just want to sleep for a week. I feel like I need 1-2 recovery days for every day I have to do things. my next off-day is monday, as far as I know, and then wednesday I’m leaving for farm jam. I already feel like I’m crashing. I’m scared that if I start this new job, that’s all I’ll have the energy for. I don’t want to be miserable again. but I don’t know what I’ll ever be able to do if I barely have the energy for a sedentary full-time job, and nothing else. I’m still too tired to cook meals for myself 80+% of the time and I’ve been doing fucking nothing for the last year. I can’t say I’m not worried.  

charlotte still hasn’t gotten back to me about working on her bridal shower decorations. her bridal shower is saturday. part of me wants to say fuck it; it’s her bridal shower, it’s not my problem if she doesn’t want to work on it. the other part of me is a little bitter that she could post on snapchat sitting in bed with the dog but she couldn’t respond to my text from almost 3 days ago now. and I know she has her phone on her all the damn time. she’s always checking her snapchat notifications; hell, she was the first one to look at my story earlier. she’s always looking at texts from her fiancé while she’s driving. but for some reason my texts go unread for days. when we’re together she seems fine but it almost seems like behind my back she doesn’t want much to do with me. she’s still just being nice for the brownie points, because that’s how she is. I have no idea. it’s too tiring to think about it.

speaking of being ignored. I’ve messaged A a handful of times over the last few weeks, but almost every time, besides when I lost louie and asked something about farm jam planning once, he’s left me on read. he’s shown me a couple of times now how one of our friends messages him a lot and he leaves her on read all the time because she annoys him, and yet here I am. he even messaged me something the other day out of nowhere; I don’t think that message was meant for me. he followed up to my “?” but then when I asked about it specifically he stopped replying again. when he was down here last I saw he was on snapchat a lot talking to some girl he must be working with in music; he’s never fucking on snapchat. I don’t care either way, he can do whatever. if I’m upset about anything it’s the fact that he may have just done it again. drove me away, almost for good, came back with his tail between his legs telling me he missed talking to me and whatever else, and I ceded, and now that he’s at least got me back on speaking terms he’s pushing me away again. he can talk to this other girl all fuckin day, just like he could talk to every other one of those trainwrecks he decided to get himself involved with, but me? one of his best friends? the fuck do I matter lmao

I’m going to be staying at his house the night before farm jam; I’m sure we’ll be doing some kind of prep together (maybe food shopping, last-minute details and all that) and we may end up actually going out to the farm together, but I don’t know. if nothing else I’m sure he’ll probably need to use some space in my car; his new one is tiny. I don’t know anything about anything because he hasn’t hardly fucking talked to me in weeks. I’m starting to feel like I don’t even want to deal with him again. I don’t really want his tent near mine in our friend group’s camping area. I don’t care what he’s got going on with who, I just want it to be away from me. I do miss having a best friend, someone I could talk to any time who I knew would get back to me eventually even if he couldn’t right then, and feeling like I had someone there who understood me and cared about me. but looking back it really does seem like it was just a feeling. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. I mean, I do, I just don’t care for it anymore. I remember being way in over my head with the crush thing, but looking back now... I want to roll my eyes at everything I used to like about him. everything I used to find endearing, now it just... now it just reminds me of him. everything that started getting on my nerves, everything he did that hurt me. anything that reminds me of him feels like a punch to the gut.

it was weird seeing him change the cover photo in the group on facebook to the one I should have been in. it was the winter he graduated, and I was supposed to go up and visit to celebrate with everyone, but the morning I was supposed to leave my birth control had me waking up so nauseous I really thought I was gonna puke. I felt awful all day and ended up staying home. they were all outside the brown, probably. almost everyone in the friend group, including people that were rarely around. and everyone was reminiscing on this picture, including T’s now-wife. I guess I can’t be upset about it; it’s just weird feeling like I was supposed to be in that group. not just for that picture, I mean I was there first. she entered the picture right after I left. literally T met her right after I left, lmao. but she’s been there. she’s been around. I love the group we have and I wish I could be around more, but the fact is that I’m not. it’s not even really mine anymore. I feel like I did in high school; friends with one or two people that were in different friend groups but never in a friend group myself. just floating in the in-between somewhere by myself. it can be really, really isolating, especially once you know what it’s like to feel included. 

I don’t really feel excluded by them, though. they’re all still incredibly kind to me. but I missed out on so much. I was only there for a fraction of their timeline. it’s hard to talk beyond niceties. I don’t have much to say anymore. 

it’ll be nice to be on the farm again, though. the weather will hopefully be nice; I’m seeing a chance of thunderstorms though so I should probably try to waterproof-spray my tent before I leave. or maybe I’ll be okay if we’re in the woods. my friends tout the weekend as pretty much an anything-goes few days. “farm jam” is often used as a reason for doing literally anything. for a lot of them it’s the one weekend a year to get together with everyone, relax... some of them get way fucked up, but I feel like this year might be at least a little more tame, what with people having jobs and T’s wife being.. what, like 7 months along? her due date is the day after my birthday, because of course it is. A tells me they’ve really gotten their shit together since they knew they were expecting. did a whole bunch of work on the trailer, got their back room all cleaned out, got new furniture... good for them. it’s weird seeing this guy I knew as a weed dealer with blacklight posters on his bedroom walls and piles of laundry all over his room getting his shit together and being an adult. I always knew he’d make a good dad though. just weird finally seeing it happen, ya know? what a difference 5 years makes.

at least I have the farm to look forward to. things are stressful right now. I’m worried about fitzie but I’m starting to have some hope he’ll make it a little longer. I want to hope he’ll make it til I’m back from scotland, but he’s been laying around a lot. losing weight, still, despite eating. I think his new heart meds have been helping with his seizures, so that’s really nice. I’m just afraid anything could happen any time now. I barely noticed a plug just a few hours ago, and it ended up being a big one. I’ve been checking his privates every time I take him out of the cage now, because buildup can happen quickly since he can’t clean himself very well anymore. if it gets completely blocked, he won’t be able to pee, and that’s bad, obviously. sometimes the plug is pretty obvious because it’ll show, but today I only realized there was something there because there’s a very particular smell to it, and he just smelled like it. I flipped him on his back in my lap and pushed a little on his abdomen and he didn’t like that, so that’s another sign. it’s a little weird having to massage it out, and I don’t like feeling like I’m hurting him by pulling on it (because it CAN be uncomfortable when it’s so big), but thankfully when he’s in my lap like that he can curl over and take care of it himself, once I’ve done the work to get most of it out. it’s weird and kind of gross to talk about, but this is just life. this is my pet, and everyone’s got body parts. if I were too grossed out by having to pull a rubbery plug of excretions out of an aging rat’s penis I probably shouldn’t be caring for any of them, lmao. as his owner his health is my responsibility, and that means the gross stuff too. that does make me worry though. he seems to get them every few days or so, but I don’t think charlotte or mom or mom’s boyfriend will want to clean it out for him. hmm. I’m going to have to ask again at the vet’s tomorrow. that tech who offered to watch fitzie for me never called me. 

anywho. blah blah. don’t know where I was going with this. just good to write sometimes I guess.