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thefirstknife · 3 years

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SIGH

Myelin released a video today arguing that Osiris is already dead. I disagree with most of his arguments and also am not a fan of some of them in particular and I want to address this in case people watch and are confused. And I assume people will ask questions about it. I think Myelin himself is also confused about certain things he mentioned and isn't interpreting them properly.

Disclaimer: obviously I am biased when it comes to this. I want Osiris to not die. This isn't an attempt to entirely disprove the theory that he may be dead already. Ultimately I don't know if he's dead. I'll do my best to look at it objectively and also address Myelin's points objectively.

I'll try to summarise Myelin's points and address them but you can always watch his video yourself to make sure I didn't interpret him wrong.

Now, Myelin's main point is that Osiris was possessed by Savathun instead of Savathun making a meat puppet/clone in his image or simply shapeshifting into him. His first proof is the Wolftone Draw bow lore. We've all read the lore and Myelin also reads the lore.

First, he wonders how Osiris is seeing what Savathun is doing. Obviously, we have no answer for this yet. Myelin's position is that this is proof of him being possessed and him trying to break through the possession. He also says that some of it seems like "Osiris views his own body in a third perspective." Which I agree with!

What I disagree with is Myelin saying this could mean Osiris' "physical body was destroyed" and that he may be floating around in some form similar to Toland. I'm not sure why complicate the matter in this way when the most obvious answer to this is simply that Savathun has created a clone or shapeshifted into a form of Osiris and the real Osiris is trapped somewhere. The lore seems to indicate this pretty clearly to me:

I cannot speak, cannot breathe, I reach for Sagira but then I remember… I form a fist but feel nothing, I am bound, and as I thrash the images cut fissures through my mind—

And:

She has stolen my form, my voice, but someone will see my failure and cast her out… they MUST—

These seem to me like he is somewhere and he is seeing through his clone's eyes at certain points. It would fit Savathun's MO to torture him in this way. She assumed his form and the real him is bound elsewhere, somewhere safe. I've said so before, and it turned out to be true: Savathun is using Osiris as a bargaining chip so possessing him would be much riskier to her plan than simply keeping him imprisoned somewhere where we can't get to him and where he can't break free from possession. It would make no sense for her to kill him.

As for how he's seeing things if he's not possessed: Savathun is THE Witch Queen. She has exhibited a wide array of magical and paracausal abilities, including the ability to shapeshift and watch others through objects and living beings. Osiris specifically says that he is "bound" and that the images of what she's doing "cut fissures through his mind" and that he's "thrashing," as well as asserting that Savathun "has stolen his form." If he's bound somewhere in her throne world, she may very well be using some sort of Hive magic to inflict images she wants him to see upon him. Just enough to allow him to know that he is a prisoner.

I'm not sure why Myelin only makes two positions: either he's in third perspective without a body like Toland OR he's possessed. The third option is right there: Savathun assumed his likeness.

That brings both Myelin and me to his next point which he positions as the "real turning point" for him. It's from the Chrysura Melo autorifle:

Savathûn, physical form a twisting instar, emerges from the shadows and crawls over the shattered pieces of the Ghost. She reaches toward the ruined man.

Myelin focuses on the bold part, a specific word: "instar." This is a nice catch btw, something I haven't noticed before. He describes what an "instar" is. Tw bugs for that link, but an instar is "a developmental stage of arthropods, such as insects, between each moult (ecdysis), until sexual maturity is reached." Savathun's physical form is described as a twisting instar at this point and Myelin says that she is in the stage of changing herself into a new form. He also says that in this form she "needs a new skin" and therefore steals the skin of Osiris aka possesses him.

But from all the googling and research I've done, I can't seem to find any examples of insect instars needing to acquire a new outside source to change their forms. They simply exist in one larval form (instar) and then change into another as they outgrow the previous one. They don't have to find another body or a host to inhabit.

Seeing as Myelin bases most of his theory on this specific word, I have to challenge that because this is simply not what that word means. Savathun, in the process of changing from one instar to another, doesn't have to possess Osiris. She simply has to change her form from one instar into another. It's still her and it's more likely that she looks to the real Osiris to use him as a model for what new form she will take.

This is why the Chrysura Melo lore page is describing "Osiris" as being uncertain on his legs and confused by human behaviours and slowly falling apart over months and months of existence: this is Savathun's instar in the shape of Osiris which is reaching the end of its lifespan and at the end of that lifespan, Savathun has to shed that instar and turn into another. Generally, moths have a few instar forms before turning into a cocoon and then later emerging out as moths. This is a nice page with pictures, but again, tw for bugs. She has clearly reached the end of her Osiris-instar and shed it away when Mara trapped her in a chrysalis cocoon where Savathun is continuing to grow, like a moth, to eventually assume the form we see in The Witch Queen. Some examples that, to me, allude to Savathun existing in a Osiris-instar and how that shape is unfamiliar to her:

Osiris takes a shaky step forward.

...

He passes the bottle, and Osiris, hands numb, puzzles at it. His mouth hangs in a half-smile before he takes a long drink, slaking a bone-deep thirst.

...

When Saint places a hand on his forearm, Osiris holds impossibly still just to see what the other man will do.

...

Osiris stumbles as he walks through the Last City.

Savathun is describing her life as Osiris and it's clear, from this and other huge amount of lore, that she was very unfamiliar with the human form and that, at the end, it started falling apart on its own. Which is what would happen to a instar of an insect, forcing it to switch into a new stage. In Ripe, she also specifically states "I am ready earlier than anticipated." In the same lore page, she also mentions a lot of really weird descriptions of how her "form" is dissolving essentially and "I clench the gangling black mass that threatens to unspool recklessly from within this shell of flesh. My new arms are too thin, too weak. My new shell still bound with thick mucus." She's barely holding it together. I'm not sure why Osiris' real human body would've been doing this.

There's another aspect from Ripe and that is that she mentions her worm inside of her:

I feel this form splitting beneath its wrappings, held together weakly by wet strands of sinew. And from deep inside, stirred by that latest scrap of deception, I hear the oily growl of the Worm.

This is how we know that her Osiris-form is her. Otherwise, Osiris' real body would've been possessed by Savathun who also holds her worm and that's more than convoluted. What we're looking at, presumably, is Savathun's instar which always has a worm at the center and evolves into other forms around the worm itself.

I'm sorry if this is rambly, but I just really can't see how possession would be possible, especially when based on insect morphology. As a last addition to the whole "instar" business which seems to be the center of Myelin's theory, I want to take a look at the word itself. It's a Latin word, and well... :

īnstar n sg (indeclinable, no genitive)

image, likeness, resemblance

counterpart

worth, value

an equal form (of)

of equal weight/size/form (to)

By the Traveler this can't be happening. Once again I am caught in the euphoria of analysing Latin words being used in Destiny. By all definitions, except maybe number 3, this alludes to a clone. An image of something. Resembling something. A likeness. Counterpart. An equal form of...

Savathun's insect-instar form fashioned in the likeness of Osiris. Not Savathun infecting Osiris: Savathun morphing herself into a counterpart of his form.

With that whole thing done, Myelin focuses on the infamous sidearm Spoiler Alert. It has a description which is just: "Someone is going to die." Myelin uses this as proof that, well, someone is going to die because the last time this gun was issued, Cayde died.

The problem here, even if we're taking this as a serious lore hint, is the timeline. Originally, Spoiler Alert was issued in Warmind. Cayde-6 died in the expansion after Warmind.

Spoiler Alert being issued in Season of the Lost would then be an equivalent of telling us someone is going to die in The Witch Queen expansion.

What does that have to do with Osiris? The position Myelin takes in this whole video is that Osiris is already dead. Not that he will die in The Witch Queen: that he has already died, perhaps at the start of this season when Savathun transformed off-screen OR even further back, at the end of Immolant, when she possessed him. This makes no sense with his other position, that Osiris is observing what Savathun is doing: how, if he's dead and why would we even get this lore if he's dead?

Most of all, Spoiler Alert, if it's alluding to a future death of a major character, cannot allude to Osiris having died before the gun was re-issued OR to him dying literally on the day the gun was re-issued. What kind of a warning is that? If they really wanted to allude to Osiris dying with this gun, the gun would've had to have been re-issued in Season of the Splicer as the final possible season to "warn us."

If Spoiler Alert is telling us some important character will really die, it's telling us this will happen in The Witch Queen. I can't imagine a situation where we save Osiris in this season and then he dies in the next expansion. Kinda pointless plotline. And it also does not fit with the rest of the video which is telling us that Osiris is already dead and Savathun is bluffing about having him as a bargaining chip. I am also not in favour of the theory that we will not find the real Osiris this season and that this plotline will stretch into The Witch Queen because that would be almost a year of grappling with the same plot of "we have to find Osiris." So whatever happens to Osiris, we will know this season. Which means the Spoiler Alert gun is of no relevance to the outcome of the Osiris plot.

The next point Myelin makes is the cutscene from week 1 of Savathun talking to us. He focuses on the image of Osiris looking kinda dead, with moths flying around him and one moth coming out of his mouth. This image is a better argument than any of the above because the imagery here is very clear. No room to misinterpret this really, we literally see Osiris being half-skeletal with a moth coming from his mouth.

However, if we take the position that Savathun made a clone, then the "dead" Osiris in this image is just that clone being dead after it fell apart and Savathun had to transform. The moth coming out of his mouth is probably what this is supposed to symbolise: Savathun outgrowing her Osiris-instar and assuming a new form, currently cocooned in Mara's chambers.

Not to mention that she literally says she "assumed his shape." Not "took his body." She "assumed his shape" to be "more pleasing to our eyes" so she could "guide our victory" against Xivu Arath. Obviously she couldn't guide us if she looked like the Hive. Instead, she morphed into a shape that looks like Osiris and kept him to herself, possibly for information as well as a bargaining chip.

The next part is something I heavily dislike as a point from Myelin.

He starts by saying how there's a trope in movies where you get attached to a character and you just have a feeling that something bad is going to happen to them because the narrative is making you form a bond with that character. And at first I thought he'll say that the narrative has been doing this with Osiris, which is WEIRD, due to how generally disliked he is in the fandom, mostly due to people misunderstanding him, but also due to other reasons which have resurfaced ever since he's been officially confirmed as a gay man in a relationship with Saint.

And of course, Myelin is not talking about Osiris at all. He's talking about Saint. He's saying that the narrative made us attached to Saint and that "they are setting up Saint-14 to lose Osiris." This is aggravating in several ways.

One, that trope about being attached to a character is generally about the character that is going to die. Bungie didn't make us get attached to Cayde so they can kill off Ikora. They made us attached to Cayde and then killed off Cayde. Making us attached to Saint-14 to kill off Osiris is completely disregarding Osiris as a character in his own right and Osiris is by far THE most powerful and important Guardian that has ever lived. To boil him down to an accessory of Saint's story is not just disrespectful to Osiris, it's just utterly wrong.

And second, essentially fridging Osiris for Saint's manpain is just homophobia. As far as I know, Myelin is not a gay man so him making this point is simply homophobic. We do not need Osiris to die to see Saint's pain and drive for vengeance against Savathun. Bungie has made that clear. It's actually never been clearer just how much Saint suffers right now, in how much pain he is and how angry he is.

It's been shown in the voice lines in the main quest, in the cutscene at the start of the season, in the week 2 radio transmission, in voice lines during various activities, in voice lines from other people talking about him (most notably Ikora saying he's "tearing up the system to find real Osiris") and in various lore tabs. We truly do NOT need more affirmation to how much Saint is suffering. We surely don't need to ramp up the angst by killing Osiris off in order to send Saint into a more of a frenzy. His frenzy is already known and already underway. The man has tried breaking into Savathun's chamber to kick her ass already. He is "tearing the system apart." He is broadcasting live. He went on a mission with Mithrax to find Sagira's remains and the most likely place where Osiris went missing. The man is already on a crusade.

I don't think he needs to learn that Osiris has died somewhere, alone, months ago in order for us to see his pain. Or to cause more pain to us, the players. It's simply a completely insensitive way of looking at a story of two gay men who have been through enough suffering already.

I know people dislike and misunderstand Osiris. I know people absolutely adore Saint. I know people would get a kick out of seeing Saint going feral instead of him behaving in a very trope-shattering way by plugging holes in the Wall and feeding pigeons and singing songs to the children of the City.

I think those people don't understand Saint nor do they appreciate him as he is. They certainly have no respect for the man he loves or for their relationship that transcends time, space and reality. And if Saint knew that, he would definitely go feral on their ass first and foremost.

I'd like to think that Season of the Lost is a direct mirror of Season of Dawn. Two very important turning points in Destiny's story that are led by an undying love between Osiris and Saint-14. Just as Osiris risked it all and we all supported him in getting Saint back, right now we are all supporting Saint and risking it all to get Osiris back.

And as an important note, the story so far has been very clear to explain to us that we're looking for "the real Osiris." This is what this whole season is based on. We want real Osiris back. This alone disproves the theory of possession, but it also highlights that this season is about saving someone we've lost. Ending the season that's based on trying to find Osiris by telling us "oh he's dead" seems to be very much narratively senseless.

Speaking of narratively senseless, Osiris' death would not make sense yet. His arc isn't over. His questions and plotlines aren't over (and he has raised many of them in Immolant, which hasn't been followed up on because he got kidnapped). And speaking of Immolant, there is the following, from Sagira:

"Shut up! Listen to my words!" Her iris is bright with Light. "There are great things still left for you; don't lose hope in the darkness." She is luminant.

Osiris breathes the word, as if he could hold it back: "No." He would understand in time. She had seen it.

This seems like a pretty strong implication that his story is far from over. It would be quite a bummer if this was completely ignored and we're delivered Osiris' dead body at some point during this season.

Of course, I'm not discouting the possibility that Osiris will never be the same after this. It's likely that there will be lasting consequences if he's alive.

I am also not discounting the possibility that Osiris may as well be dead. I want to make that clear. It's possible. But I did my best to make a somewhat coherent analysis of why that is probably not the case and why Myelin's position in particular is flawed. And as I said at the start, I definitely am biased in a way that makes me hope that Osiris is not dead. I fully understand that and would not be opposed to people pointing out flaws in my argument if there are any. I am, genuinely, trying to be as objective as possible with this though, but as always, I could end up being wrong in the end.

And that is my TED talk.

#destiny 2 #osiris #savathun #saint-14 #o14 #lore vibing #long post #i am burdened with writing essays when lore youtubers make a video

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bothcreativitybois · 3 years

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The Mayor’s Sweet Treat Chapter 3

Wordcount: 2955

Ship: Intruality

TWs: Food, horses, dogs, skipping meals, a little bit of past angst, sexual references, swearing

Taglist: @star-crossed-shipper @crazydemigod666 @idont-freaking-know @someoneiwasnt @seraphiie @the-sympathetic-villain @cute-and-angsty-princess @lonelymuffin

Remus flung out of the truck and smashed on the bakery door.

“Wakey wakey!” Remus shouted at the doors. Above him a window opened. Patton smiled down radiantly. The cold night breeze rustled his hair dreamily while Remus’ long locks thrash slightly.

Remus you dumbass! He isn’t used to this!

“You’re an impatient one, Mr Grinch.” Patton joked.

“Actually it’s Mr Manzana.” Remus shouted back. “Are you coming down or not?” Patton giggled and closed the window. A few seconds later he appeared beside the building.

“So where are we going?” Patton asked as Remus walked up to him. Remus laughed.

“The best place in town, which is conveniently also the only place.” Remus joked. Patton followed him down the street to a little restaurant with a yellow sign. Remus opened the door for Patton as they entered the small restaurant. There were a handful of tables set up with only one in use. Remus walked over to greet the small family at the table. Patton followed awkwardly.

“Remus!” A gruff father looking figure shouted and pat Remus on the back. “Good ta see ya.” Also at the table were two small children and an elderly lady.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?” The elderly lady chimed in. Remus smiled widely while Patton just sort of shrank behind him.

“Staying out of trouble as much as possible.” Remus chuckled, both the adults laughed.

“Which for you isn’t possible.” The man laughed heartily. Remus smiled and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Clyde, let me introduce you to Patton.” Remus held a hand out as to present Patton. The man looked at him happily.

“Great to meet ya.” Clyde stood up and enveloped Patton’s hand in a strong handshake.

“You too.” Patton said meekly. The large man laughed.

“Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” Clyde joked. “Remus however…” He elbowed Remus who pulled a fake innocent face.

“These darling angels are Taylor and June.” Remus ruffled the hair of the two children who both tried to push his hand away. “And this is Ms Cath. She taught me when I was the kids' sizes.” The elderly lady stood up and hugged Patton. The hug was soothing, it reminded him of his mother. He thought about how long it’s been since he was hugged… a couple months?

“Welcome to our little town, honey.” Ms Cath soothed. “Well let you two get back to it. But if you ever need anything then just stop by the school and see me.” The old lady winked. Remus put a hand on Patton’s back and after a few more words with the family guided Patton to their own table. Patton looked around the restaurant. Not in a nervous way, just the way you do when you enter a new place. The people he’d just met were chatting happily and enjoying their food. Remus snapped his fingers to get Patton’s attention.

“Hey so the waiter is a friend of mine and he has some unique features. Don’t to stare, it upsets him.” Remus whispered. Patton nodded politely just as the waiter in question showed up.

“So this is the baker I heard about?” The waiter said. Patton looked up to see a little name tag reading ‘Janus’. The man had a large black birthmark and a lazy eye. He figured that’s what Remus meant.

“I like your hair.” Patton smiled. Janus touched the small bun his dreads were pulled back in. His face was surprised.

“Thanks.” He turned to Remus. “You getting what you always get?” Remus laughed.

“Don’t fix what ain’t broke.” Remus confirmed with a wide smile. “And an extra for my friend here.” Janus nodded and scribbled something down on his notepad.

“Great. I’ll be off work at midnight so if you plan on taking ‘your friend’ home then please be done by then.” Janus said calmly and walked away. Patton blushed but Remus simply laughed. He looked down at Patton, he realised how uncomfortable he looked.

He reached across the table and grabbed Patton’s hand. He noticed a small tattoo on Patton’s wrist he hadn’t seen before, a little frog.

“Sorry, I kinda threw you in the deep end there.” Remus apologised. “Janus was just joking around, he’s really nice albeit a little dry and blunt.” Remus attempted to reassure Patton, it seemed to work as he released the tension in his shoulders a bit and nodded. Remus pulled his hand away.

“Everyone here seems really nice.” Patton said. Remus smiled and looked around.

“It’s that small town spirit.” Remus replied. “When everyone knows everyone no one is really mean… well except for some of the older families who have weird rivalries but that’s a story for another day.” Remus was so calm, it was weird. Usually he was bouncing off the walls by now but something about Patton was keeping him on the ground.

“Tell me about growing up here?” Patton asked. Remus took a deep breath. There were thousands of stories racing around his head and he needed to find a way to summarise them all.

“It’s chaotic but somehow also predictable.” He eventually answered. “From the outside it’s like a horse rolling around on it’s back. It looks ridiculous but it knows exactly what it’s doing.” Patton was amused by the analogy. He understood that Remus was a country kid but now he was just being cliché. Not to mention Patton knew next to nothing about horses.

“And what does it mean when a horse rolls around?” Patton asked, genuinely curious about the silly behaviour of horses. Remus’ face lit up.

“Most the time it means they got colic and are trying to dislodge whatever got stuck. But if it’s a younger philly they could just be having fun. Colic isn’t serious though, usually it’s solved just by leading it for a walk or a shot of penicillin.” Remus explained. Patton watched how Remus’ eyes sparkled as he talked, he seemed a lot more in his element. “Colic is what keeps the vets round here in business. Pretty much everyone has a horse and the farms all have at least three. I got one still livin’ at my parents place, I’ve been meaning to move her to mine but she’s scared to death of trailers and I don’t have the ti-” Remus was cut off by a groan from Janus who had appeared with two plates.

“Kraken is fine on the farm, they have good use for her.” Janus began. “If we brought her to our place she’d be stuck in a paddock all day and only get ridden every week or so.” Janus placed down the plates with two tall burgers. “Two lamb burgers, one with extra pickle and barbeque sauce.” Janus pulled a face as he announced the last part.

“Thanks.” Patton smiled happily. Janus nodded and walked away. Patton looked over at Remus who was taking pickles off his burger and putting them on a napkin. “Why did you order extra pickles if you aren’t eating them?” Patton was confused. Remus looked up and smiled devilishly. He liked pickles, but always ordered extra for something special.

“You’ll see.” Remus winked as he wrapped up the pickles and put them in his pocket.

The two men didn’t talk much as they ate. Remus was used to being the kind to devour food quickly while everyone else told him to slow down, so he was surprised when he saw Patton finished his burger first. Patton was just happy to be eating real food again.

“You finished that fast.” Remus said as he took the last bite of his burger. Patton looked up and blushed. Truthfully it was the first thing he’d eaten today, he had skipped breakfast and was too stressed to eat while working. Patton laughed awkwardly. Remus reeled, he meant it as a compliment but was worried Patton didn’t take it that way. “I mean that in a good way, pancake. It’s hard to find people who can keep up with me.” Remus quickly added. Patton giggled. Remus stood to leave but Patton stopped him.

“Wait! We need to pay.” Patton fretted. Remus looked over Patton and winked at Janus, he sighed and waved them away. Patton watched the weird exchange and didn’t notice Remus grab his hand to pull him out of the restaurant. He was tugged out so fast he nearly fell down but he couldn’t help but laugh. Remus pulled him down the dark street as they both cackled.

“Where are we going?” Patton asked through the laughs. Remus looked back and flashed a brilliantly evil smile.

“You wanted a tour, didn’t you?” Remus said as he halted to a stop. Patton nearly ran right into him if it wasn’t for Remus’ outstretched arm. “Here is where we start!” Remus pointed to the building in front of them. A brick building with a clock above the door.

“Mindville Council Hall?” Patton read from the sign next to him. Remus shook his head and shook his pointed hand. Patton followed the line of sight to, “The… clock?” Remus nodded excitedly so fast he looked like he might burst. He reached into his pocket and took out the napkin from the restaurant.

“The clock hasn’t worked in years.” Remus said as he took a pickle from the napkin, he handed the rest to Patton. “This is a way better use for it anyway.” With that Remus hucked the pickle slice into the air towards the clock, it hit the glass cover with a barely audible splat. Remus would come here as a kid and throw all sorts of things, but he found out quickly that pickles were not only the most accessible but also stuck the best. Remus celebrated with a loud cheer and took the pickles from Patton. “Give it a try.” Patton gently took a pickle and looked up at the clock. It was at least ten meters up.

“I’m not sure I can get it…” Patton conceded. Remus took a pickle slice and laughed.

“Who cares?” Remus shouted as he threw another pickle, this one hitting above the first. Patton took a deep breath and pulled back his hand. He closed his hand and threw the pickle as hard as he could. He looked up in time to see it land just short of the clock. He blushed in embarrassment but to his surprise Remus hollered.

“Whooo!” Remus cheered. His whoops were brash and loud, like when the electric mixer hit the edge of the metal bowl. “That’s a great shot!” Patton smiled at the enthusiasm and grabbed another slice. Remus did too and they both threw them together. Remus hit the 4 while Patton’s was just shy of the clock again. Suddenly the lights of the building turned on around them. “On to the next place!” Remus threw the napkin with the rest of the slices and began bolting down the road, Patton stood shocked for a second then followed.

“Aren’t you the mayor?” Patton huffed as they ran. Remus was surprisingly fast and he had trouble keeping up.

“Yes, and?” Remus said, barely breaking a sweat. When they were far enough away Remus slowed down and started pointing out the shops they walked past. “That is the butcher, if you ask nicely they’ll give you bones that aren’t big enough to sell as dog bones. That’s Salamanders Silk, one of the 7 places I’ve gotten a cut that needs stitching which is ironic given it’s a clothes store.” Something told Patton this tour wouldn’t be overly informative of the actual places. “And this is the bakery that makes amazing muffins.” Remus stopped. Patton realised they were in front of his shop. He looked up at the bare walls of the building, it looked abandoned. Every shop in town had nice signs and lovely paint but his just looked sad.

“How about I give you a tour?” Patton chimed in happily. Remus looked down and nodded excitedly. Patton walked up and unlocked the door. “Welcome to Froggy and Doggy Bakery.” Patton sang happily.

“Finally, I get a name.” Remus joked. Patton sighed and looked up at the empty space where a sign should hang.

“Yeah I need to get on to the sign company again.” He said sadly. Remus took a mental note of Patton’s qualms.

“How’d you get the name? Is doggy your favourite position or something?” Remus asked as he walked in. Patton locked the door behind them and flipped on the lights.

“Actually it’s based on a story my mother told me as a kid.” Patton started. Remus regretted his previous statement. “There was a princess who had two suitors, a prince and a farmer. She asked each to bring her an animal as a gift. The prince brought her a well bred dog with beautiful hair. The farmer brought her a small green frog. She took each pet and announced she would be marrying the farmer. The prince got mad and demanded her to answer why. She said that anyone can go out and buy a dog, but the farmer had spent time catching the frog and cleaning it to present to her. Even though his gift wasn’t the most pretty or conventional, it had the most effort and thought put in it.” Patton smiled as he told the story, Remus was entrapped by his words. He clearly had fond memories of that story and it was reflected in how happily he told it.

“I think that’s my new favourite fairy tale.” Remus said when Patton finished talking. “Is that why you have that tattoo as well?” Remus gestured to Patton’s wrist. He nodded.

“My ex was a tattoo artist and he did it as a birthday gift.” Patton said as he rubbed a thumb over the small frog drawn on his wrist. It took him a moment to realise he had just come out to a man he’d met only earlier today. He looked up expecting some sort of reaction from Remus, but he didn’t care. Remus was just looking around the bakery, closely inspecting a sign on one of the walls. Patton found it refreshing to have someone not have a big reaction.

“Art gallery? What’s this for?” Remus asked. The wall had no art on it, just a few small shelves. Patton walked over to join him.

“Oh my mother had the idea that artists could put up any art they had to sell here for a small fee. That way we could generate more business while helping people.” Patton informed. “That reminds me, is there a homeless shelter I could donate any unsold items to?” Remus was surprised. Patton had never been here and already wanted to help the people. It was admirable.

“Well there aren’t any homeless shelters here because there isn’t a need for them, but there is one in the city as you probably know. It’s an hour drive but they’d probably be very happy with a donation even once a week.” Remus explained. Patton looked back blankly.

“Why would I know that?” Patton asked.

“You lived there before you moved here, didn’t you?” Remus thought it was obvious. The only people who knew about this town were the people living in it and some of the people in surrounding areas.

“No. I lived on the coast.” Patton said.

That’s in the very least 3 hours away. Remus thought.

“Why’d you move here then?” Remus asked plainly, not knowing that for Patton it was a loaded question. Patton crossed his arms and looked down. Remus noticed. “Oh- uh- you don’t have to answer.” He stammered quickly trying to comfort Patton. He was curious but didn’t want to make Patton uncomfortable.

“Thanks.” Patton whispered. It hurt to think back to the time before he moved. It hurt to remember how he pretended to be happy so much that he even fooled himself. He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and smiled at Remus. “How about some dessert?” Patton chirped. He really bounced back quickly. Remus wasn’t sure if Patton was serious or flirting so he just nodded his head. Patton clapped and made a happy noise. He led Remus up the stairs to his apartment and unlocked the door, the whole time Remus becoming more and more confused what this invitation entailed.Patton opened the door and allowed Remus to enter. He entered the small studio apartment with an impressive kitchen. Remus didn’t know how to play this. Did Patton think this was a date? Even so he was so sweet and kind that Remus didn’t pin him as the kind to give it up on the first date. Remus tentatively walked over and sat on the large bed. Patton looked across the room where Remus had taken a seat on his bed. It suddenly hit him how his offer may have sounded. Thoughts crashed against Patton’s mind. He quickly walked over and opened the fridge. Patton pulled out a few small caramel tartlets and brought them over to Remus. “Ta da!” Patton announced.

Oh of course. Remus thought. Of course Patton meant actual dessert. He’s a fucking baker.

Patton once again was alone but this time he was a lot happier.

“They look great.” Remus said as he admired the lovely caramel tarts with chocolate shavings.

“Take them. As a thank you for tonight.” Patton pressed the plate into Remus’ arms. Remus took the plate and tried one of the tarts. The rich caramel melted in his mouth and blended perfectly with the buttery shortbread crust. “And tell Janus I said thanks too.”

“He’ll love these.” Remus mumbled, shoving another in his mouth. Patton giggled. Remus said his goodbyes and left.

#sanders sides #the mayor's sweet treat #sanders sides small town au #sanders sides fan fiction #sanders sides fic #intruality #intruality au #patton sanders #ts patton #remus sanders #ts remus #janus sanders #ts janus #tw food #roman took over

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

Text

The Party Scene

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

In these “scene posts” I will explore the scene of the title looking for the information in the dialogues. What I will be looking for is how much Gale “lies”, how much lore is provided, and any extra detail that may be of our interest to highlight. At the end of these posts there are summary points for those who don't want to read the whole post.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in this (post) while disclaimers about Context in this (one).

The party scene, I personally think, needs plenty of polishing. The fact that many characters can have a "jealous" behaviour towards Tav no matter their approval looks suspicious to me. Gale's case is even weirder because if Tav did not romanced him at all, Gale will still share those judgemental comments that seem to come from jealousy, as well as strange dialogue options about “being a bad loser” when the context is not romantic at all. This would make some sense—to a certain extent—if Tav romanced him, but if Tav locked him as a friend, it has no purpose. Especially if Tav explores the option of suggesting him to spend the night together, which ends with Gale rejecting the situation because "they are just good companions" after such display of incoherent jealousy coming from a char who values privacy (and therefore would not meddle into Tav's personal affairs). It seems to contradict his character and therefore, it makes me suspect that the whole party scene is just very raw and unpolished in general.

As I said, the party interaction is very confusing since it doesn't follow the relationship context created by Tav, and in Gale's case looks inconsistent with his char as well, inviting a strong misinterpretations of his character (this is probably a consequence of the decision of making Gale part of EA in the last moment). So this scene analysis may be a bit messy since the scenes are messy too (hence this post's length. I'm sorry).

Whether Gale was locked into friendship or romance, Gale drops his famous line:

As they say in Waterdeep: In wine there is truth. That's usually followed by: In water there is good sense. Good sense will have to wait till the morrow.

A great warning line from a narrative point of view: he is basically saying that what will be shared that day under the effect of wine is true, but it certainly won't be "good sense".

In a friendship path, he would not want to waste Tav's time any longer, and will bid them a good night while promising a bed-story the next day. In that case, the wine line could be interpreted as the final decision of a confession that will happen the next day: Gale has finally reached a degree of trust in Tav that gives him enough courage to finally speak about the details of the "orb" (and I emphasise details because in broader aspect, he already shared what's most important: the "orb" in his chest is a dangerous thing. If Tav assisted with his death protocol, this is undeniable by now, unless Tav allowed him to keep his privacy).

In a romantic path, this wine line could be interpreted as the decision of inviting Tav to share a night, and explaining the details in the morning, the “good sense”. After the wine phrase, we have other piece of prose in which Gale describes a book that it's a bit more than a sexual book:

Gale: Allow me to make the following proposition: there is a book that circulates in Amn, detailing the first thousand nights of a newly-wed king and queen. They turned everything they did into an art. The art of conversation. The art of taste, time honoured and newly acquired. The art of the body. The exploration and acceptance of the self and the other. The art of the night itself. I say we take a page from their book.

Considering that Gale is not only a verbose char, but also a poet and a scholar, the enumeration of the concepts in the description of the book speaks a lot in my opinion. Gale is not inviting Tav to a night of sex (let's remember he never uses that word in EA) but to a deeper degree of "intimacy", as he calls it. There is a lot more involved in what he asks for: confessions in the art of conversation, pleasures in the art of the body, and, hopefully, acceptance. For Gale, acceptance is a big deal: it’s not by chance that he left it last in the enumeration, summarising the whole concepts with the "art of the night". Gale is truly eager to access these concepts, and in doing so, I personally believe he shows a fair level of naivety on this matter. It seems (especially later with his unpolished arguments in the morning) he felt he needed this level of intimacy—of acceptance first—so he could speak the details openly. He wants to have this night before any confession because he thinks that it would allow him to acquire something that would prevent the abandonment that he viscerally fears: acceptance.

Any of the options taken by Tav keeps showing his eagerness. He wants this to happen in whatever terms Tav desires: as a brand new experience (“blank slates on blank sheets”) or with the promise of commitment (writing the prequel of a newly-wed couple). Or if Tav romanced Gale and then chose to spend the night with another companion, Gale will still insist in sleeping together, showing he was open for Tav to have casual sex as long as the "commitment" part would be established with him. This is reinforced by the fact that, if Tav never shared the Weave with Gale, there is no way to sleep with him: Gale is not a character for one-stand nights. He craves for deep connection, for commitment, in whatever fashion he can get it. Mystra taught him not to ask about exclusivity after all.

Gale is so desperate to have this deep connection that if Tav doubts about spending the night with him, he will drop a line which can trigger an alarm in the player:

Tav: I'm not sure you're the one I want. Gale: That's because you've yet to find out what you're missing. Doubt is a spoilsport. Cast it aside.

Gale, the scholar, the one who kept encouraging Tav to doubt and to think critically about everything, suggests to dismiss doubts. Once more we see he needs this to happen. Some players interpret this as manipulation as well. I personally think this also says something else in Gale: since the dev's notes show no second intentions in the only two scenes where dev's notes existed, and instead, they display how much fear Gale has for a second abandonment, Gale is showing here his inexperience with relationships as well as a constant fear for abandonment.

Gale is looking for commitment, for something that can last longer than Mystra's affair did: he wants something solid, but his inexperience in this field made him "acquire" knowledge of how things should work via romanticized means such as books and poetry. In his mind, the acceptance he needs can only be acquired due to the "art of the night", very well detailed in this book he describes.

It's true that, all this part, if we completely ignore the narrative weight that the book has for a book-based character such as Gale, can be interpreted as Gale manipulating Tav to have sex alone; desperate to obtain it, doing everything in order to get it. We can also see the description of the book as a “bait”, as some people do. It's a valid interpretation, especially for a Tav who respected Gale's privacy during the Loss Scene and the protocol, so that Tav has no information with which to connect the dots. But I personally find it an over-magnification to see him as a "mastermind of manipulation". The few dev's notes we have about Gale seem to confirm that nothing shadier than his “orb” despair and his fear for abandonment are going on. These fears are constantly echoing in his mind, and they are, as I said in other posts, the main reasons why he becomes emotional and prone to make mistakes.

Is this action manipulative? It can be seen as “withholding information” by any Tav who didn't push him to explain, otherwise, all the information in a general way has been offered already and there is no withholding at all. Is Gale a manipulative character? In EA we don't see a pattern of that behaviour to qualify him as such. He has been quite honest, explaining in all scenes what he can say and what he cannot, drawing his boundaries clean and clear. We saw him struggling with the explanation of what he lost. The few Dev's notes reinforce mainly his fear for abandonment, lacking any manipulative behaviour behind his actions. His pattern, in my opinion, is that he tends to make mistakes in his emotional state, which is mostly triggered by the “orb” and the concept of “abandonment”. Not so much with Mystra per ser. He seems to be nostalgic but more aware of what loving a God causes (his regret is explicit during the conversation of Karsus). He is quite done with "her love as a lover", but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be forgiven nor he doesn't love her as the essence of Magic itself. More details in the post of "Mystra and her Chosen ones".

After the party, Tav can have a romantic conversation before the sex “intimacy” or can reject the chance. What seems incoherent in this part is when Tav is not in the mood for sex, and Gale simply cuts off the situation. He is a character who craves connection and intimacy, and pretty much like Wyll, he needs a bond before stepping into romance. To waste a night of celebration that could be used to share any other level of intimacy (let's say, talking? The man clearly LOVES to talk) seems strange. If this reaction is truly meant to be in the game, it would seem that he certainly was more desperate for sex than what all the previous scenes hinted, but in that case it would have done little sense to leave the tale of the wizard for the next night. Gale already knew Tav did not want to have sex, so no point in delaying the explanation of the details. I personally suspect these incoherences are a consequence of Gale being added into EA at the last moment, making him more “shadier” than he is meant to be.

To justify my opinion that this seems to be an unpolished scene: if Gale is not romanced, and conditions are given, Lae'Zel will spend the night with him, talking. Why would Gale prefer to share a night of talks with a companion with whom he had not the Weave connection before, but he won't do it with a Tav who shared it? I see some incongruence here, probably as the result of being added into the EA in a rush. His scenes are less polished and much more messier than the other companions' (certainly not more than Wyll, though) and his bugs and triggering priority show it.

This part is also seen as "coercive" by some players:

Tav: I’m sorry, but I actually don’t think I can do this. I’m just not in the mood. Gale: Not even a simple kiss would change your mind? Tav: No, it wouldn’t.

Tav: Maybe a kiss was enough Gale: Are you sure? One kiss is like one chord in an entire symphony. It begs for more.

Gale: (disapproval) What a pity. One should never be afraid to live life to the fullest. Before we part.. I know there are many things about me that remain shrouded in mystery. You’ve been very patient with me, and I appreciate that. You’ve brought me back from the grey shores of death. You know of my condition, and you know about my unfortunate efforts to win Mystra’s favour, but those are but the broad strokes. The time has come to paint you the true picture. So come find me another night, yes? No kisses, just words. (Leaves)

Asking seems to be coercive for some people just because there is a disapproval. I personally separate very clearly what Tav sees and receives as information from the NPCs and what I, the player, do. Tav should react to what they see, but the player is having a “meta-knowledge” of the situation with the info of the narrator and the approval system. The player knows Gale is disappointed in not having intimacy now, and he expresses it. Then he behaves completely natural, and continues talking (of course) about what he will explain about in the following morning (I don't understand what impedes him to say it in that moment: is it the wine? He fears his charisma checks are at a disadvantage due to the wine? Is it just a reflection of the rush in which he was added to the game? We will see in the full release. To me it looks inconsistent.)

Anyways. The scene continues in the early morning or simply the next night depending on what option Tav picked. Here, Gale presents the details of the revelation: “It is a story full of answers long overdue. It is a story of a man who fell in love with a goddess.”

Tav: You're really about to tell me about another lover? What's wrong with you? Gale :I couldn’t do it before. I couldn’t ruin the chance for us to happen. You were there. How could I say no to you? Dev's notes: Gale revealed he was in love with Mystra. He tells this the morning after. Understandably, the player can react negatively to his timing. He tries to explain himself.

This line clearly shows that there was an intention in hiding the relationship he had with Mystra, which it's an “answer long overdue” (is it?). Now, some players consider this the proof of Gale's manipulations; the greatest betrayal, because people are entitled to know all the details of their partner's past before sleeping with them. Other players consider that it's in poor taste to disclose this exactly the morning after sharing the night with Gale. And I agree. However, I see a scene with a lot of over-magnifications and making things more problematic than they truly are. In my opinion, “the chance for us to happen” is deeply linked to the book of Amn for all the reasons explained before. It's not by chance that this book has such a weight in the scene. Gale also shows with this line that he has no experience nor idea how relationships develop.

I also think that Gale fails so much in delivering decent lines in this scene because, 1) this is a very unpolished text in EA, or 2) this is very on purpose, emphasising that Gale is ready to speak about the two topics that turn him into an emotional disaster and his word choices could be attributed to as someone failing many charisma checks. Maybe that's the intention.

If Tav considers this the greatest of the betrayals they can tell him to leave and Gale will not resist the rejection, leaving the party immediately and facing one of his biggest fears: Abandonment. And once more, the abandonment as a consequence of his own mistake. The irony of this path.

If Tav allows him to explain, Gale will accept any "judgement after telling his story". This is something very related to Gale's approvals: to have a complete grasp of a situation, you need to have all the evidence, hear all the details of the event, before drawing a conclusion. And curiously, no matter what aggressive option Tav picks, Gale gives no disapproval unless he is forced to leave the party. So, after some dramatic reaction, Gale will try to proceed with the telling.

Tav: It’s clear as day you are talking about yourself, you know Gale: I know, but a bit of narrative distance will make it all so much easier in the telling. Indulge me.

From here, Gale gives Tav another courtesy gesture: to pick the version in which this will be explained. He clarifies that the long version, more pompous and verbose and in third person, is the one he would prefer due to the distance. Since the first meeting on the road, or the stew scene, passing through the Loss Scene, we see this pattern again: Gale, the character who always has a lot of things to speak about, has also topics that are difficult to explain and needs to use narrative tricks to do it. Not by chance he is a reserved person: those topics he can't talk about are always personal.

Long version

Gale: Once upon a time, not quite that long ago, there lived a wizard in a tower. The wizard was what one might call a prodigy, who from an early age could not only control the Weave, but compose it, like a musician or a poet. Such was his skill that it earned him the attention of the mother of magic herself. The Lady Of Mysteries, Mystra.

Tav: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love. Dev's Notes: nostalgic, regretful, bitter, sad, lost romance–all with a bit of hesitation on the front of the line. Tav :He sounds like a very talented individual Gale: He was. Even though it was in Mystra’s affections that his true power lay. Tav: Teacher’s pet, was he? Gale: He fancied himself much more than that. He fancied himself favoured above all others.

These three options give interesting additional information: Gale was convinced that Mystra's attention was love, because he was young and naive. He is now very aware that his talent meant little, because the true power he had was in Mystra's affections, meaning in being a loved Chosen one. He fancied himself unique, as a Chosen would do.

Gale: Perhaps it was not quite love, Dev's Notes: A little embarrassed Gale: but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. Mystra showed him the secrets behind the veils. The gossamer veils first, draped across the Weave. The delicate veils next, draped across her body. ‘Chosen One’ she whispered, as she slipped them off completely.

This is another fragment with interesting, yet disturbing lines: Gale now, as a narrator, questions if that past feeling was Love. He has matured his sentiments for Mystra, they are less "teenager-like". He is convinced that in the past it was love to him, implying that now he has doubts (concept reinforced once more by the end of the scene). The disturbing line is the definition of "very young man", which I will talk about in the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Grooming".

Tav: The veils draped across the Weave? Gale: Indeed. What most wizards perceive is but the ripple of the Weave’s surface. Untold wonders lie beyond. I enjoyed them for a while, as we enjoyed each other.

Once more, in these details, the narrative reinforces how intense is the connection of Mystra with a Chosen one. Again, this is lore information. Chosen ones have a deep connection with Mystra/the Weave/Magic, which is unique. More on this matter can be read in the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones".

Gale: One day all too soon, the whispers stopped. The goddess spurned the mortal. The veils were drawn once more, and the wizard was left behind heartbroken.

Tav: Poor wizard Gale: Poor wizard. Silly wizard too, for he wouldn’t take no for an answer Tav: What happened next? // I hate to say it, but he really could have seen this coming Gale: He was blinded by love. Good stories are rife with lovers’ follies after all. Tav: Perhaps she, like you, had other lovers she didn’t tell him about. Gale : She might well have had, but that didn’t stop the wizard from trying to reclaim her affections.

Gale: Like so many of the heartbroken, he did something infinitely foolish. One has to think big if one seeks to win back a goddess. So the wizard thought big. [Here he explains all about Karsus who] sought to usurp the goddess of magic so that he could become a god himself. He almost managed but not quite, and his entire empire – Netheril – came crashing down around him as he turned to stone. The magic unleashed that day was phenomenal, rolling like the prime chaos that outdated creation. A fragment of it was caught and sealed away in a book. No ordinary book, mind you; a tome of gateways that contained within it a bubble of Astral Plane. It was a fragment of primal Weave locked out of time – locked away from Mystra herself. ‘What if’, the silly wizard thought. ‘What if after all this time, I could return this lost part of herself to the Goddess?”

Another part of the scene that keeps giving us a lot of information: Gale is very aware now how silly he was in his youth (at this point, one can almost remember his words during Arabella's quest: she is not innocent but that doesn't mean she is guilty) and his past young self was unable to take a no as an answer (which apparently Gale learnt very well when before this revelation or after, Tav can reject him and he simply leaves the party without putting much resistance, despite knowing that Tav only has a fragment of the big picture). The other answer reinforces his blindness by this strange concept that Gale thought it was love, and pretty much uses the word Folly for describing or making an analogy with his past, which again, it's not a casual word: Folly is a formal way to say stupidity and it's also a word that Gale uses to compare his mistake with Karsus' folly. As an extra, the last answer seems to explain very much what he does when Tav romanced him and then slept with another companion. Details of this in the post "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat".

Short version:

This version is shorter and more into the point without an excess of dramatic details that may end up annoying Tav more than making the process of comprehension better. The short version makes much more clear where Gale is standing: the facts are presented without his typical pattern of embellishing the story.

Gale: […] I am what one might call a wizard prodigy, who from an early age could not only control the Weave, but compose it like a virtuoso. Such was my skill that it earned me the attention of Mystra herself. I soon fell in love with her, and she returned my affections. […] Before long Mystra tired of me. What was I, after all, but a mortal plaything in sacred hands? You have to realise I was heartbroken. I was a young man, she was my first love. I thought it would last forever.

This part reinforces once more that he is very aware that a relationship with a goddess was very unbalanced, that Mystra was his first love, he was a young man, and he thought it would last forever.

For completion's sake, the goblin version has a different introduction:

Gale: Let's just get this over with. No doubt you've guessed by now there was something rather special about my relationship with the goddess Mystra. The thing is, we were lovers once. I am what one might call a wizard prodigy [...follows the same speech of the short version]

Three versions converge in the kneeling. The scene in this point has a different narrative value; a proud character as he is, who has a deep regret for his mistake with the “orb” (he says it explicitly in the "Loss Scene" post) kneels before Tav to humbly show the traumatic experience by placing their hand on his heart, where the “orb” resides:

Gale: Here. Place your hand over my heart. Let me show you Narrator: You feel the tadpole quiver as you realise Gale is letting you in. Into the dark. You see through Gale’s eyes, staring down the corridors of a dread memory. A book, bound, then suddenly opened. Inside there are no pages, only a swirling mass of blackest Weave that pounces. It’s teeth, it’s claws, it’s unstoppable as it digs through you and becomes part of you. And gods, is it ever hungry…

This scene speaks of opennesses in all senses, honest and without any interest of pretence: Gale is showing his greatest regret, the lowest of the lowest he reached, the despair that it inspires. For once, he is not talking, he is showing it (because the experience is the one that makes him speechless and its memory seems to cause him great pain too due to the facial gesticulation). And what Tav sees shows again that Gale has nothing extra to hide: this has been the same exact information that Tav could extract from him in earlier opportunities with successful tadpole intrusions. So, if Tav never reveals that they saw this in Gale during the stew scene, Tav will realise that Gale kept his promise: he was reserved for a while, trusting slowly in Tav, to finally open up and show that he was going to explain the “why” much more later, because it's truly difficult for Gale to speak about.

1-Yank your hand away Gale: Terrifying isn’t it? And that is only the beginning 3-Tav: Gods – why show me this? Gale: I’m sorry, but I had to. After all, that is only the beginning 4-Tav: I slept with a monster. Gale: I didn’t sleep with a monster despite the tadpole in your head. We are none of us monsters. We are merely hatcheries for monstrous things. So we fight them.

This is one of the most ominous information Gale gives us, in my opinion: The experience of how the “Black Weave” rushed into his body is grotesque and painful, and it's meant to cause despair. But that was only the beginning: Gale is everyday dealing with that feeling, but on a bigger scale as its hunger increases with each passing day. The descriptions of his emotions during the artefact scenes adds more despair and anxiety to it. Gale is living in the worst mental state that a person can, but he manages it thanks to his wizard training and the Weave he consumes (he is still alive thanks to Magic, of all things). This shows the mental power of a wizard in DnD. And if you read the post about "Well-known Characters" section: "Elminster", Gale could have been inspired in him since I can see this level of endured torture similar to the one that Elminster was exposed to when he was kidnapped and dragged to the Hells.

Gale: This Netherese taint.. this orb, for lack of a better word, is balled up inside my chest. And it needs to be fed. As long as it absorbs Weave it remains stable – to an extent. The moment it becomes unstable, however..[...] It will erupt. I don’t know the exact magnitude of the eruption, but given my studies of Netherese magic, I’d say even a fragment as small as the one I carry…. It’d level a city the size of Waterdeep. Dev's Notes: He admits he’s a walking disaster waiting to happen. This is said very seriously. The truth is finally out and he has no idea how the player will react to such monstrous news.”

Tav: I should godsdamned kill you Gale: Perhaps that is what I deserve, but you deserve no such thing. To kill me is to unleash the orb. I understand your anger, I do […]

Here is where we know that Gale calls it “orb”, but it's not an orb. For more details, read the post about the "Orb". Tav already knew since the Stew scene that Gale could cause a catastrophe without artefacts. In this scene we just get some extra details about it.

Gale: It is my truth, finally revealed. It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through.. (After the night we spent together). Surely we can brave even this side by side. Dev's notes: Solemn. Full of yearning his news will not lead to him being abandoned by the player.

And there, Gale's “truth” is “revealed” (not truly, it is only more detailed in the information): We know that the Weave he consumes from the artefacts keeps this condition stable (something we already knew since the Stew Scene) and it will erupt if it doesn't consume artefacts (which is something we knew since the Stew Scene too). So the revelation scene is not so much of a revelation. The whole scene has a writing with a lot of weight in “shocking” revelations and “dramatic” reactions when the context provided shows that there is little to be shocked about, in my opinion. If anything, this whole scene needs serious polishing.

Then it follows the “coercive” part according to some players, which again... it's only Gale hoping this situation doesn't end in a second abandonment. The concept that the “intimacy” of the shared night gives more reasons to stay by his side seems pretty naïve, but maybe that was the intention (thus my suspicion that Gale has no experience at all in relationships, only what he learnt from romantic books). What it's clear is that after the detailed explanation, Gale is desperate to avoid a second abandonment, yet he knows it's unavoidable. This can be seen when Tav doesn't forgive his betrayal (?) of not saying anything about Mystra or the "orb" (he did in the Stew and following scenes, but this context is not acknowledged here), and Gale simply accepts it, showing that Mystra's experience made him learn to accept a no, leaving the party forever (in EA).

Tav: No. This is too large a betrayal. Gale: I see. I am sorry. I am sorry that it had to come to this. All that’s left to say is farewell. Dev's Notes: A slight hesitation, hurt but understanding. He makes a polite little bow, then we see him walk away.

Really, I don't understand what happened with this scene because it's either ignoring any annoyance that the situation can cause on a Tav who didn't push Gale to talk, or it offers an over-reaction when all the information has been shared already, at least in a very generalised way during the Stew Scene. A Tav who doesn't push Gale to speak will have no more details than the ones provided during the Stew Scene at this point in the game, but one who pushed Gale will basically have the whole story covered. The Rpg-options we get here are so white-and-black, and not even coherent with the context, no wonder so many players turned Gale into a “mastermind in manipulation”. This scene is very unpolished in my opinion.

Tav: Gale, are you still in love with Mystra? Gale: I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know. She is my muse still, the embodiment of magic, but the embodiment of love? Only if we ever meet again will I know

Here we have once more confirmation that Gale questions what kind of love he has for Mystra. Considering all the context he gave us previously, it seems that his love for his Goddess as a devotee will never cease, but romantic love is a big question for him. He has given Tav all the hints to make them suspect that Gale probably never knew romantic love outside his experience with Mystra or what he could read in books.

Tav: What would permanently rid you of the orb? Gale: The orb was kept safe and inert in a pocket of Astral Plane, suspended in time. If I can somehow manage to expel it from my body while in the Astral Plane, it will be rendered inert again. Alternatively, I could learn to control it’s chaotic magic, that is; to succeed where I failed before. But without Mystra’s favour, I don’t see how that may come to pass. Of course there could be different answers as well. Faerûn brims with more magic than any one wizard could fathom, let alone comprehend. Who knows what outlandish solutions may yet present themselves?

The last bits of information are more interesting: Gale thought of two possible solutions to solve his “orb”problem. One is to expel the object out of his body in the Astral Plane where time doesn't exist so its hunger or ticking mechanism stops, so the magic will remain inert. The other option is to control Netherese magic. He informed Tav that he already tried this option, so it's clear that Gale's intention when obtaining this book was to master this strange piece of Weave and give the secrets of that control to Mystra. But he failed.

Summary of the post:

There is an important emphasis in acceptance: only through acceptance Gale can open up to share the details of his mistake. He wants to have this night before any confession because he wants to acquire this acceptance that, in his mind, would prevent the abandonment he viscerally fears.

In all the scenes there are many hints suggesting Gale is very inexperienced in relationships: the acceptance he needs can only be acquired due to the "art of the night'', which is one of the main points in this book. His notions related to relationships seem to have been acquired via romanticised means: books and poetry. He may believe that intimacy guarantees acceptance.

Gale “reveals” his truth: he was a Chosen of Mystra, he was Mystra's lover, and the “orb” problem was a mistake he made to earn Mystra's attention. All this information is now detailed here when it had been shared already. There is little “revelation” in it.

Gale's actions can be interpreted as manipulative for a Tav who respects his privacy and has little information about the “orb”. But hardly the pattern extends to his behaviour. His need for acceptance makes him make bad decisions.

A Tav who pushed Gale to speak in previous scenes finds little new information in this one: they will have a more detailed picture of the situation and they will know that Gale and Mystra were lovers.

Gale is very aware that Mystra's love was not exactly love, but it felt like that when he was young. He also knows that the true power of a Chosen is related to being loved by her. He is also aware that a relationship with a goddess is a very unbalanced one. He states that Mystra was his first love, the affair happened when he was a (very) young man, and he thought it would last forever.

Potent narrative image: Gale, a proud character with great confidence, kneels before Tav to humbly show the traumatic experience by placing his hand on his heart, where the “orb”resides.

In general, the whole tone of the scene jumps constantly in my opinion. Tav's options are not toned to the general atmosphere of the scene: or they ignore completely the value of what Gale says, or over-react magnifying information as if it were the first time Gale says it, when a lot of it was shared during the Stew Scene and following scenes. It feels like a very unpolished scene, probably as the result of Gale being a companion added to the EA in a rush.

The Dev's notes explain the whole situation as:

Dev's notes: synopsis: The principal portion of this dialog consists of two main parts: a romantic night intro that leads to a fade to black and implied intimacy, and a section in which Gale tells you his true story in either of two ways (chosen by the player). These are the ‘story’ variant in third person, and the slimmed down ‘story-light’ version in first person. It is the story of how he fell in love with the goddess Mystra, was spurned by her after a brief affair, and how he got himself into big trouble when trying to win her back. The dialog was originally meant to contain only the above, but for recording and cinematic purposes, the story sections of it are also used in a variety of other ways, that is to say, the dialog also contains an intro section in which the scene begins with no romantic intent. In specific cases though, Gale will still try his luck, which you’ll see in the repeat of some lines of an earlier dialog.

This shows that, so far, the intention was always to make Gale explain the “true story” in this scene, which was the one we were told. I think that expecting more secrets would water down this intention here. In any case, the future secrets, if there are some left, may be secret even for Gale himself.

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

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ingek73 · 3 years

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Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t

Marina Hyde

The Duke of York is the subject of a US civil suit brought by Virginia Giuffre, who alleges she was abused while a minor

Published: 16:40 Tuesday, 10 August 2021

“I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’”, Prince Andrew once remarked, “although I don’t know what they are.” Yeah, well … SPOILERS. I’m not sure if the Duke of York would have better luck if he considered the question again today, in light of Various Events of the past few years. His infamous Newsnight interview revealed him to be a man of such baroque stupidity that in some ways its most sensational revelation was that Prince Edward must have been the clever one.

And so to events overnight in New York. For the first time, the Queen’s second son has been made the subject of a US lawsuit, a civil case brought by Virginia Giuffre, formerly Roberts, teenage victim of Andrew’s former close friend, the late underage sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. Giuffre alleges that the Queen’s second son sexually abused her when she was a minor on three occasions – in London, in New York, and in the US Virgin Islands. Quite a lot of air miles, there, though I fear we can rule out HRH cashing them in for a free flight to the US any time soon. The prince has not commented on the case but he has always denied the claims saying they’re false and without foundation.

He won’t be sweating even now, of course – as Andrew famously explained, he is biologically incapable of perspiration because he OD’d on adrenaline in the Falklands. And you know, no matter how many times I type that, I always need to take a moment to get my eyebrows down off the roof.

Anyway, this latest development may well represent Giuffre’s last available option for personal agency in pursuit of justice for her claims. Otherwise, she can only await the glacial creep of the various investigations into the now-dead Epstein and his associates, including the financier’s alleged procurer Ghislaine Maxwell, who is herself awaiting trial in the US.

Alas, accounts differ as to the level of the prince’s assistance with any of these various inquiries. Last January, the then-New York attorney general, Geoffrey Berman, declared HRH had offered “zero cooperation” up to that point. According to Berman, not a lot had changed six months later. “If Prince Andrew is, in fact, serious about cooperating with the ongoing federal investigation, our doors remain open,” he reiterated last summer, “and we await word of when we should expect him.” Reading that, you might have felt minded to pencil him in for the 12th of never, but the prince’s legal team countered that he had “on at least three occasions this year offered his assistance as a witness to the DOJ”. In the suit filed on Monday, the documents state: “Again Prince Andrew stonewalled - ignoring (the) plaintiff’s letter and emails without any reply or response, thereby making this action necessary now.”

Let’s move on, then, to a recap on the three locations referenced in Giuffre’s case. The Virgin Islands relates to Epstein’s private property in the territory, apparently known locally – though perhaps not altogether opaquely – as “Paedophile Island”. On the New York allegation, Prince Andrew has already asserted that he couldn’t have had “activity” with Giuffre at Epstein’s Manhattan address that night as he was staying with the then British consul general in New York, Sir Thomas Harris. Or as Harris put it: “It doesn’t sound like he stayed with me,” adding that he had “no recollection” of the claimed royal visit, and it had not appeared in the Court Circular as would be convention. The London allegation arguably comes with the most helpful aide memoire for the prince, what with the existence of a photo of Andrew with his hand resting on the bare hip of Giuffre in an upstairs room of Ghislaine Maxwell’s home. Maxwell herself is smirking in the background of the picture, allegedly taken after a visit by her, the prince, and Epstein to Tramp nightclub.

All sorts of claims have been made about this photograph and what it shows. Placing those allegations and denials to one side for a moment, let’s just focus on what we can see, and ask ourselves a basic question. Namely: what are three big-hitters in their 40s doing hanging round late at night with a 17-year-old runaway? Is this the behaviour of non-weirdos? Not really, let’s face it. Virginia Roberts wasn’t a whole lot older than Andrew’s eldest daughter at the time, which perhaps ought to have crystallised his thinking. Far better to take her to Pizza Express than to run the gauntlet of the aged slimeballs at Tramp.

Nor was it the behaviour of a non-weirdo to continue to hang out with a Tier 1 sex offender AFTER he had been to prison for procuring an underage girl for prostitution, as the Duke of York undeniably did in the case of Epstein. And let’s not forget it wasn’t just one girl, in some kind of he-said, she-said situation. As the Palm Beach police chief who ran the case summarised: “This was 50-something ‘shes’ and one ‘he’ – and the shes all basically told the same story.”

As for what’s next for Andy, I wouldn’t pin hopes on him being a blockbuster Tower of London exhibit for autumn. It was almost exactly two years ago that the fallout of his Epstein friendship hotted up for him again, and back then the prince headed straight to join the Queen’s summer retreat to Balmoral, where he was accompanied by his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson. Andrew was even prominently displayed in the prime seat next to his mother in the car on the way to the local church. He and Fergie then private-jetted off for a second time to Sotogrande – though oddly some random private plane Meghan and Harry had recently taken was deemed of far more febrile and condemnatory interest to most of Fleet Street at the time.

You certainly wouldn’t bet against the same pattern being followed this year. Prince Andrew and Fergie are already reported to be imminently expected at Balmoral, suggesting he is not exactly the Banned Old Duke of York. Perhaps we shall see him with mama again, pursing his lips with the grave satisfaction of one who knows that Balmoral’s humble kirk does not actually have an extradition treaty with hades.

In the immediate wake of the Newsnight interview, a YouGov poll found that a mere 6% of the UK public believed Prince Andrew to be telling the truth. It does seem particularly notable that he asserts he was “acting honourably” in flying all the way to New York in 2010, supposedly to end his friendship with Epstein. Strangely, he has yet to regard it as a matter of honour to fly to New York to clear his own name. If he fails to take up this new opportunity to do so in a court of law, he and his surrogates can hardly complain about being tried in the court of public opinion.

#prince andrew #duke of york #royals #brf #the guardian #prince andrew lawsuit #british royal family

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 4 years

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Are u more bangel or cangel?

Would you believe me if I said I’m an even 50/50 split? In fact, I’m not even that. I love all three of Angel’s ships - Dangel, Bangel and Cangel - and consider them all to be OTPs. So I guess I’m a 33.333333% split between the three haha.

I couldn’t rank them or choose one as my favourite above the others, because I love them all for completely different reasons and appreciate that they represent different stages of Angel’s life and development. Darla was Angel’s creator, his partner in death, the person that shaped and defined him and was the mother of his child. Buffy was Angel’s first love, the one that showed him what it meant to love and be loved, and what it meant to fight with a purpose. Cordelia was Angel’s best friend and confidante, his constant and main source of support. Each of them brought something entirely different to Angel’s life and were vital to him.

Overall, I strongly dislike comparing Bangel and Cangel, because for me, they’re incomparable. I’ve spoken about this in a previous post:

People have a tendency to make comparisons between the Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel relationships, when in reality (as I’ve mentioned above) the two aren’t really comparable. Angel’s relationships with Buffy and Cordelia were distinctive, took place under completely different circumstances and brought different things to his life. Angel was fully engaged in a romantic relationship with Buffy for 2 years (on and off), but he never had the opportunity to do that with Cordelia. The romantic feelings were there, as was the potential for them to act on that and see what they could be, but it didn’t happen. So to compare the two relationships (when technically Angel and Cordy never entered into a romantic relationship) is futile to say the least.

If you want to read more about this, you can find the full meta here. Skip to point 9 if you specifically want to read about Bangel and Cangel.

I stand by the last point - comparing the two relationships is futile because they’re so different. Bangel was a more romantic and sexual relationship than Cangel, whose relationship was rooted in friendship and companionship. On the surface, this makes Bangel seem like the preferential ship, but not everything has to be about sexual attraction. Deep, intense romantic love can exist without an underlying and dominating sexual attraction. Futhermore, Angel’s curse made a romantic-sexual relationship difficult to pursue (this is a large part of what drove Bangel apart - the risk of him losing his soul and their struggle to resist each other sexually, amongst other things). I also headcanon Cordy as ace so the fact that the sexual aspect of Cangel’s relationship wasn’t as developed never bothered me. It made sense for Angel and Cordy to fall for each other and pursue the kind of relationship they had with each other, when considering the context of their previous relationships and them as characters.

Another reason it’s futile to compare the two is because Bangel had a lot more advantages than Cangel. Bangel had a much higher standard of writing in canon, SMG and David’s chemistry was incredible and they had a fully realised and fleshed out romantic relationship across 3 seasons. In comparison, Cangel were never fully realised as a romantic ship, were repeatedly done a disservice and halted in their progress any time they even tried to explore their romantic feelings for each other.

Furthermore, the two relationships were fundamentally two different types of love. Bangel was very typical of first love - it was immediate, intense, spiritual, angsty and steeped in sexual attraction. Their connection was built more on spiritual connection and magnetic attraction than anything else. Cangel’s connection was more mature and developed over time as a consequence of spending time together. It wasn’t love at first sight, it was an evolution of friendship to family to romance which developed from being so intimately and closely involved in each other’s lives; sharing a home, work, purpose, emotions etc.

Overall, I love Bangel and Cangel equally, but my love for each of them exists for different reasons and fluctuates at different points. On BtVS, my heart is 100% for Bangel; on AtS, my heart is 100% for Cangel. I prefer Bangel’s chemistry and story; I’m more emotionally invested in Cangel’s because of the disservice that was done to them. I love giffing both; I make more Cangel edits because they have a smaller fandom. I love the epic star-crossed lovers trope that Bangel have; I have more appreciation of the “realness” and groundedness of Cangel’s love. I find enjoyment and validation in the Buffyverse fandom because of the love Bangel get; I feel very protective of Cangel in the fandom because they seem to be forgotten, misunderstood and/or reduced to living in Bangel’s shadow. I prefer canon for Bangel; I yearn for the potential that Cangel had in canon. I enjoy the gratification of Bangel’s love at first sight relationship; I connect more with the slow-burn and development of Cangel’s relationship. I live for the angst of Bangel; I enjoy the more lighthearted tone of Cangel (up until s4 at least lol). I love the intruige of Angelus and Bangel in BtVS; I freakin’ adore the Angel we see with Cordelia in AtS. I love watching Bangel’s sexual attraction and chemistry; I find it refreshing that Cangel’s relationship is somewhat separated from sex.

I’m sure when you asked this question you didn’t bargain for an essay, but if you know me, you would’ve known to expect this since I can never give simple one word answers to any question I’m asked haha. To summarise: I love Bangel and Cangel equally but in different ways because of the fundamental differences in their relationships and how they were written.

#answered #anonymous #bangel #cangel #ats meta #btvs meta #my meta #it's not uncommon for me to ship 'opposing ships' and love them both equally #i'm just a huge multishipper what can i say #i can appreciate ships in terms of what they offer to the characters #for angel all of his relationships were very important and special #and i love them all

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brittie-frog · 4 years

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Haunting of Bly Manor

Right.

I love horror and after spending sometimes days watching video essays on gay history, specifically in (horror) movies and film, I now kinda understand why so with the Haunting series and its gay rep and them not being the villain of the story, I loved it.

(Quick note I have only rewatched the show twice and can only take from my own experience of media)

My phone also knows me so will suggest news stories on things I've recently watched or current murder cases. So it suggested me this story today:

I went in open minded knowing that some people were angry about the ending falling into the 'kill the gays' trope (which I will come back to).

At first it was fine, talking about the ghost story/love story comment and how it relates to the show and has good analysis that I agree with. Then it goes on to basically summarise the show.

It keeps mentioning that all the gay subtext is implied:

why Dani broke up with her fiance

why Jaimie is reluctant to be vulnerable with Dani (before the monologue)

And that there needs to be a “lot of filling in between the lines” to understand their romance despite their practically constant flirting (Jaimie's 'Poppins' for Dani is the cutest nickname) and multiple kissing scenes. However, I digress, it can be sometimes hard to understand certain attitudes to each other at the beginning.

It also states that its like they want on the pat on the back for "making them queer, without making anything about them very queer". I don't know what this means, but I took two interpretations:

That not all queer people need to stereotypically look queer to be and that is a step forward for gay rep (I prefer)

That the creator wants to be celebrated for making gay rep without truely showing their queerness (which I think is pretty false)

Then it talks about the fireside chat and Jaimie's backstory, describing the monologue as "shoehorned" into the scene and "devoid of any mention of her sexuality". This is where the first part of my 10 minute research for context comes in. This is set in 1987 in a small town in England with an American. In charge of England at the time was the famously homophobic Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher that implemented Clause 28. No one in this setting and right mind - especially after being ridiculed for most of her life - would come out to any one, flirting or not, that they have known for at most a month or two. Also, this entire scene resolves around Jaimie's attitudes towards people, and why she's reluctant to get close to people, favouring taking care of her flowers over interacting with others.

Then it talks about Owen and Mrs. Grose having "more meaningful screen time and backstories that continue throughout multiple episodes".

First Hannah. We basically get Hannah's entire backstory in episode 5: how she met Owen, scenes of her working at the Manor (in non-chronological order) and how she died in the first episode. Then that continued into the final episode when she finally comes to terms with her death and her love for Owen to save everyone. We don't actually get much backstory in the way of her childhood or even how she met the family (from what I remember, correct me if I'm wrong).

Now Owen. His backstory is that he grew up in Bly, left to go to France and became a Sous Chef, only coming back because his mum got diagnosed with dementia and he needed to take care of her despite her constantly mistaking him for other people. That is also only explored through Hannah's memories of the interview and the bonfire-side chat.

Those are both sad backstories but you can't call them any more or less meaningful than Jaimie's of in depth about how her and her family were ridiculed and bullied throughout her life and even spent time in juvie. They all have points mentioned in their stories that I would love more indepth on: how Hannah met the family/met Sam, either Owen's childhood in Bly or his time in France and why Jaimie spent time in juvie. But I also realise this is a short series that has to make fleshed out characters and tell an entire story in 8 episodes.

The article then talks about how even the ghosts got an entire episode to themselves when they barely show up. If you look in the background of the majority of scenes you'll see them and personally I really enjoy getting their stories of how they died. However, that episode is about more than just finding out about the ghosts and Viola's life, it’s mainly about what led to her being the first ghost and causing other dead people to stay as ghosts and the origin of those specific words that give a ghost access to an alive person’s body, to help explain the majority of the show. If I showed my friend this show and removed that episode I would have more questions asked than when my mum finished it.

Now I don’t know what to say. I agree there is no law on art so it can be anything and I usually think that the haunting series are in a slightly different universe (it’s how sleep at night knowing that someone can’t be so stubborn they become a murdering ghost) but also yes, trans-roles should be given to trans people more often. However they are actors and their job is to play some they aren’t for entertainment so for the most part I agree with Scarlett about being able to play anything. Also yes the self-congratulatory approach after playing an LGBT+ character when you’re cishet is kinda bad unless you have the full support of the community telling you it was a good portrayal and accurate representation. It won’t be enough for minorities if our representation, that people outside the communities are calling great, are just surface level characters that are just there for tokenism but you can’t compare Bly Manor characters to those types of characters. All of them have so much development and are well done that the majority of the community that has watched the show have no problem with and love their representation.

Personally I love both Theo Crain and Jaimie and Dani because they represent different things. Theo Crain is on a basic level. as a lothario, a stereotypical butch lesbian, constantly hooking up and struggles to actually open up and love people. Dani and Jaimie are soft, domestic cottage core lesbians in a flower shop AU. This is not a bad thing and just because they have a “tepid romance” doesn’t mean it’s a step back. Also more context time:

As said before Thatcher was in charge and heavily homophobic, creating laws to stop people from teaching children about homosexuality since gay sex had been decriminalised recently

It was the middle of the AIDs epidemic. Dani was coming from a country that was doing nothing about the deaths of thousands and going to a country where hysteria about AIDs was rampant but they were doing more, like the ‘AIDs: don’t die of ignorance’ information leaflet despite it not being as huge with 46 deaths by 1984. (That assumes that the AIDs epidemic happened in this universe)

Dani clearly had some form of internalized homophobia before even coming to England because she spent so long with her fiance hoping to feel the way she’s supposed to (I think the ghost of him is her guilt and internalized issues personified as it constantly appears when she’s trying to move forward.)

Also in the final episode it shows that is probably at least some homophobia in America as they kiss in the shop then look outside and go to the back so no one can see. (This could be interpreted as seeing if anyone is planning on coming in so they can escape without having to stop early for customers but Jaimie had already changed the sign to closed.)

Now onto the ‘kill the gays’ trope. Yes this is a huge trope that is so damaging to the community that we’re constantly the ones killed off for views or when their tokenism is no longer important, that is fucked up! However this doesn’t mean that we should give every gay character plot armour, cause that’s also unrealistic, just to please the select few that will call it out as a damaging trope. There is huge difference between say, The 100 killing Lexa and Bly Manor killing Dani as one has plot relevance and brings the story to a close while the other enraged an entire generation so much they started a brand new convention to celebrate queer relationships/characters in media. It’s also not like she was the only one to die, it’s horror after all, Hannah, Rebecca and Peter, the parents and all those ghosts died or were already dead.

Like many of the comments on the article - If all you got from this show was it falls into kill the gays, you have completely missed the entire point of the show.

#bly manor netflix #haunting of bly manor #dani and jamie #just my thoughts #ramblings #this is a product of my frustration

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inscapeblog · 4 years

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Is there significance in Subcultures in Design? - Sahriel Nicole Sicat

1. Introduction

I have chosen Subculture in Design; this essay will contain arguments on why sub-culture in design is important and the influences that sub-culture has on design. The way I will achieve this is to define subculture and provide examples from research resources. This essay will also contain information on how subculture has influenced design over the years and how it affects design solutions today. Examples will also be provided to explain further and give proof of sub-culture within the design field, with brief descriptions on how it has changed the design and how it has either improved or not improved from the before and after processes. This essay will be concluded by summarising the information and what sub-culture is defined as in my own words

2. Defining Subculture in Design Subculture is defined as number of cultures that has derived from one main culture.

There individuals share characteristics and interests within these subcultures that have been influenced from its origin. According to YourDictionary.com, subculture is described to be a group of people that have created a culture that contains different beliefs and values from the consensus; something that does not typically align with its wider culture. (Yourdictionary.com, n.a). Bashin (2020) defines subculture as groups that hold values and norms that deal with politics, cultural and sexual matters; he goes on to say that subcultures are an integral part of society as they give balance to certain issues or situations. Bashin (2020) states that characteristics of subcultures cannot ideally be defined or made into list form because the definition of subcultures itself are changing all the time. Although it is known that subcultures are not particularly easy-going when it comes to who represents them and who are suitable for these groups; their overall identity and who embodies it is important. Grimell College’s (n.a) piece on Subcultures and Sociology: Characteristic of Subcultures, covers the general overview of the characteristics of subculture, other points that would define subculture characteristics would be: - Share different meanings. This means that although the identities or values of a subculture are different from another subculture, their practices could be similar or done for similar meanings. - Shared identity. This pertains to the feelings of members within these cultures; Grimmel College (n.a) mentions that people would feel some disconnect but having or being part of a particular subculture, even without physical interaction, made them feel more at ease and like they had more to their individual identities. - Resistance. This mentions three dimensions in which subcultures can take place or engage in. The first dimension can be active or passive, in the sense that it will take the intentions of the subcultures into account. The second dimension or micro level depends on the direction that the subculture is taking their perspectives. The third dimension or macro level happens when issues are being directed to those within political positions or dealing with political issues that are aimed towards the subcultures. - Marginalization. Marginalization happens to subcultures because of their unique traits and personalities that do not exactly fit in with those in the dominant or origin cultures. All these points briefly explain the characteristics of subcultures; it gives a vague overview of how these groups get categorized into subcultures.

3. The significance of Subculture in Design in identifying and solving a design problem

Subcultures in design shows major significance because the community of designers can be said to be or contain its own subcultures, for example you get graphic designers, fashion designers, architects and so much more. If you had to think of it in this way, subcultures can create communities for individuals to feel more comfortable in their interests, as they are able to share it with others who share those interests or values. “We can therefore conclude that graphic design is a communication form that utilizes the visual aspect of communication to transmit certain ideals or to stimulate particular feelings and emotions from its audience.” (UK Essays, 2018) Good Therapy (n.a) speaks about how subcultures can affect mental health; although this is a broader topic, it can still apply to the field of design. I say this because designers are put under a lot of pressure, this can be due to deadlines, time constraints, any mishaps that may occur during the planning and the execution processes. All these factors can aid to stress and can cause further issues that deal with mental health or health in general. Good Therapy (n.a) continues to say that within subcultures, communities are formed and people use this as an outlet or a place to feel more comfortable with themselves. This gives them reassurance in their interests, making it known that they are not alone and there is a place for them within society. If you had to put subculture in design within the context of how it has affected design over the years, then I would say that its significance still applies. I say this because design is influenced by traditional and culture, the styles and colours take a lot of inspiration from what is occurring around us. If dominant culture can influence our way of design and visual imprints on the world then so can subcultures; design can evolve and cater to any demographic it chooses, if done correctly and with the right message and/or intentions. Batagoda (2019) writes about the importance of looking at cultures and subcultures when designing. Some of these points are: - Understand which countries you are doing work for and where the clients live in. - How do graphic design trends change in the countries that your focus groups are? - How the visual language change from country to country? - What is the cultural impact of the country on its design? - What are the most common colours used in the designs? - Understand common font faces, native fonts and how the visual hierarchy is present in the design. These questions are good to ask when you are designing for a client; taking into consideration things such as, the demographic within the area you are planning to design for, their age, ethnicities, needs within that area or community and more. Thinking about the overall personality of a country and how they represent themselves within design projects is important because this is a form of communication to the public, it needs to have a clear message but still appeal to the interests and values of subcultures.

4. Examples of successful application of Subculture in Design in spatial design

How the Great Recession influenced a decade of design

Figure 1: Sarah Lawrence for Vox (2018). Photograph. Vox. This image contains two sets, one of minimalistic style and white being the staple colour, the other half shows a more renaissance scene with duller colours, heavier furniture and very elegant design finishes.

Brooke (2018) wrote an article for Vox on the influences the Great Recession has had on design over the years. She specifically points out minimalistic design and states that the concept of minimalism is to purchase less but better things. I believe that this can be seen in the image comparing two different styles but they still share characteristics in the fact that furniture pieces, lighting, colour and finishes play a significant role in achieving a simple yet put together spatial design. The term to buy less but better things came from a brand called Cuyana, they wanted to encourage their customers with this phrase and with the recession in mind this was an action that become an impulse during the aftermath of the recession. (Brooke, 2018) Within this image you can see the similarities that have been applied when you think of the “buy less but better” phrase. Each space has their own colour palette but they both stay true to its main choice of colour, this makes the space look cleaner and open. The styles of design are true to the era they fall part of but you can easily distinguish that fact the modern-day minimalism holds a crisper style; the edges are clean and everything looks very bright; modern minimalistic design relies a lot on natural light and also using pieces within the space that won’t distract from the overall harmony of the area. If we look at what it is being compared to, the older design style has more rounded furniture pieces and finishes; they also contain a lot more detail but is focused on statement pieces of the room, such as the fireplace, it has intricate designs carved onto it which makes it stand out but it does not take away from the overall aesthetic. Design experts weigh in on the changing face of retail design

Figure 2: Shweta Parida (2018). Design experts weigh in on the changing face of retail design. Image. Commercialinteriordesign. This image is of as store, it contains a flight of stairs which leads to a section of display areas for products.

When we take into consideration of the changes within the economic and how it functions now and how it did in the past, the wants of customers have changed drastically and is still changing. To change the space of retail stores to accommodate customer needs and wants again, Parida (2018) writes about Architectual guidelines and the inclusion of technology when it comes to shopping. Parida (2018) continues to say that buildings would have to change their structure to allow more space or passageway for customers to feel more comfortable when trying to adhere to guidelines of current situations. If we look at modern adaptions and compare it to methods from the past, technology is a large step into change and how shopping can be achieved, whether it be from physically going to the mall or doing it online. Technological advances for retail spaces can also be applied to actual stores within shopping malls. Design aspects on buildings would look at aspects like spacing, lighting, audio and other visual elements that would be the most effective on creating impact on customers. (Parida, 2018).

5. Conclusion

Based on the evidence provided in the previous section of this essay, I would say that the significance of subculture in design is important and still applies to how and what we design today. I say this because, it is evidence that characteristics or styles of design that we call modern, can easily be spotted in designs from the past. We are able to identify that they have been influenced by art movements, clothing trends, economic changes, the people within certain communities and so much more. Taking this information into account, the evolution of design can be considered a subculture itself.

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pandabearisaunicorn · 5 years

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Hydra’s Secret Weapon

Hydra’s Secret Weapon Part 3 Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader OFC!Elena x Thor, OFC!Ellie x Peter Parker Summary: As the world around you is crumbling down, half of the universe just gone and it leaves the rest of the Avengers into desperation and that’s when they find you. You and your two best friends who suppress special powers who could be key in defeating Thanos. Will they succeed or fail? That’s all up to you. Word Count: 4k Warnings: sexual tension, slight smut Masterlist A/N: This is my very first time writing something this smutty, so I hope I did alright ‘:) Anyways! Finally a update my loves! :)))) I’m sorry this is soooo late! I have had so much to when I’m not working but here it is! I hope you like it as much as I do! XX

That night it was hard for you to even fall asleep, your thoughts clouding with one face only, Steve’s. it was something about him that you just couldn’t shake, if that was his charm, his good looks or just his incredible personality you couldn’t figure out.

After just a few hours of sleep you walked walked out of your room and into the kitchen. Your friends already seated at the table and you eyes wandered to the clock. Ellie never woke up earlier than 10 so why would she be up by 8?

“What’s gotten you up so early?” You asked as you poured yourself a cup of coffee.

“Today’s the day Banner, Scott and Rogers are resting the time machine. Not convinced they’ll succeed if you ask me” Elena said and took a sip of her coffee.

“And I don’t want to miss a single bit of it!” Ellie said with a wide smile on her face.

“You’re really excited aren’t you?” You asked her as you sat down at the table.

“Of course I am! If they fail, I’ll laugh my ass off” Ellie laughed out and a smile grew on your lips.

“Wow easy there tiger, who says they’ll fail?” Rocket said as he walked up to the three of you.

“Oh come on, Banner doesn’t have any experience in this” Ellie stated as the raccoon sat down next to her.

“True, true. I’ll hide from it all anyways” He said as he took a sip of coffee. The sight of a talking raccoon drinking coffee always had you thinking if all of this really was happening.

All of you sat in silence for a while, enjoying your breakfast when Steve walked in the room. Your stomach doing flips as you saw him in his white checkered button up, behaving his toned body. He smiled warmly at you as he walked passed you, a smile that made your cheeks heat up just a little.

“The big today huh?” Ellie asked excitedly.

“Yeah, don’t feel great about it though” Steve sighed as he looked down into the coffee cup in front of him.

“It’ll work just fine” You said and flashed him a warm smile, a smile that made him tug at the corner of his lips.

...

You and Elena walked into the big hall where the rest of the Avengers were, trying to the get the time machine to work in their favour.

“The power is on” Steve said as he walked around the corner of stacked boxes or whatever it now was.

“Alright Scott, you ready?” Natasha asked as she walked up to Steve, Elena and you following short after.

Everything after that just became chaotic, Ellie ran inside and Scott turned into an old man and then a baby.

“Tadaa time travel!” Banner said as he held his arms out, all of us looked at him.

“It’s a baby” Steve muttered out as he looked at Scott.

“He’ll grow up” Banner said and if looks could kill, Steve would’ve just killed him.

“Take him back!” Steve almost yelled at him and you all looked at each other.

“Okay, kill the power when I say so” Banner said and Steve sighed big as he put his hands on his hips.

“Oh jeez” Natasha said as she hurried of to the power source.

“Kill the power!”

You could sense all the panic in the room as you waited for Scott to turn back and thank god he did.

“Oh thank god” Natasha said as she put her hand on her chest.

“Someone peed my pants, I don’t know if it was old me or baby me, or just me me” Scott said in embarrassment as he looked at Steve.

“God what have we done” Steve mumbled as he walked out of the hall.

“I was hoping it would work” Ellie said sadly, her face looking at you.

“We all did kid” You said and she looked confused at you.

“I was hoping we could get Peter back, I miss him” She said as a tear fell down her cheek.

“We will get him back kid” You said and hugged her, even though she didn’t exactly like human contact too much, you just knew she needed some kind of comfort.

...

You were now seated in your room, your legs curled under your legs and your hands wrapped around your favourite book. You left the rest of the Avengers back in the hall the minute everything went wrong, you just couldn’t see the disappointment in their faces when they failed.

Then there was a knock on your door, you looked up from your book confused to who it could be. You stood up from your bed and walked over to the door. You were met with Steve’s face as you opened the door slowly.

“Hi” You said before opening the door all the way.

“Hey” He said with a small smile before you moved to the side and let him inside your room.

“What’s up?” You asked as he sat down on the edge of your bed. This was something new, the two of you had been alone before but that was often during training or in the main areas but this, this was a whole new level.

“I just needed some positive aura, I mean Tony’s back that’s something I didn’t think would ever happen” He said and looked up at you and you could feel yourself melt by just looking into to those perfect blue eyes.

“Tony, that’s the billionaire playboy who left all of you for his family right?” You said with a hint of sarcasm which made the attractive man in front of you smile.

“Yeah, yeah you could summarise it like that” He laughed and you sat down next to him.

“How’d you feel about that? I know the two of you didn’t really go on” You asked and he looked down at his finger in his lap.

“I don’t know, I mean he said we were fine but I mean, he has every right to be angry with me” He mumbled out and you knew it was hard for him to even tell you this, so you wondered why.

“Did he come up with any idea of the time travel thing or did he come here just to piss you off?” You joked and he looked up at you, a big smile on his lips.

“No, no he figured it out, he’s a smart one you know” He said and his eyes stared into yours.

“Yeah I know, Tony Stark is quite famous you know” You winked at him

“He is” Steve said with a huff.

He shifted on the bed, his thigh now really close to yours and you could feel your breath hitch in your throat. There was something about this man that made you weak and you didn’t know why.

“I uh, I’m sorry I’m taking my shit out on you” He said and looked up at you, his elbows resting on his thighs.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry Rogers. You can talk to me about anything” You said and a small smile played on his lips.

“Thank you y/n, it means a lot” His voice got an octave lower as he continued to look at you, it made something inside of you turn.

“Of course” You said and it was impossible for you tear your eyes from him.

When your words left your lips you could feel the man lean into you and you could feel his warm breath fan against your face. Your eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes, his doing the same.

“Can I kiss you?” Steve almost whispered out and you just nodded to his words.

You felt his lips touch yours gently and his hand cupped your cheek. Your hands wandered to his neck and pulled him closer to you, feeling like it never was enough. You wanted him as close as possible, wanting to feel every part of him. You wanted this to last, you didn’t know if it was just a one time thing or actually was something. And god, he did things to you. He set every emotion in you on fire, every touch made tingles along your body and god did it feel good. Everything felt so goddamn right, like you were meant to be with him.

You were now seated in his lap, tongues fighting with each other, teeth tugging and small moans left the both of you. His hands roaming your curves, feeling every part of it, even sneaking under your loose fitted shirt. It did leave a lot to his imagination and he loved it. Your lips moved from his and continued down his strong jaw to his neck earning a low groan leave his lips. His hands tightening his grip on your hips. You started to move against him earning another low groan from his lips as you gently pushed him down onto the soft mattress below the two of you. Your hands roaming down his chest and tugging at the hem of his shirt, desperately wanting to rip it off him

He pulled away from your lips slightly and his ocean blue eyes looked into yours, it held emotion but you couldn’t tell which one.

“You sure you want to do this?” He mumbled against your lips, feeling them touch yours with every word.

“Of course I do” you breathed out, his eyes scanning yours for any sign of hesitation.

“Good” His voice was barely audible and you probably wouldn’t have heard him if it weren’t that you were so close to him.

His lips attacking yours as his hands pulled you even closer to him, if that’s now possible. Your hands pulling his shirt further up his chest and you could feel his muscles tense under your touch. Both of your breaths getting harsher and moans were leaving both of your lips.

...

Clothes scattered around the both of you as he hovered over you, naked bodies pressed together as the both of you moved in sync. Pleasure filling the both of you up and you had never felt this much pleasure before in your life. Steve sure was something else.

Your mind getting hazy as you felt his lips against your neck, sucking and licking. Your nails pressing into his back muscles as he thrusted into you, filling you up deliciously.

“Please don’t stop” you moaned out as moved faster into you, his face now looking down at you. “Please Steve”

“Please what doll?” He asked with a smirk plastered on his perfect lips.

“God Steve” you moaned out, unable to answer him correctly.

He pressed his lips to yours as the two of you moved in sync. Feeling the pleasure taking over you to its fullest. His eyes looking down at you and you swore to yourself that he was the most breathtaking man you’d ever seen.

...

As you felt sleep pulling away from you, your eyes opened slowly. Still feeling warm and buzzing from the sex with Steve, god that man was something else wasn’t he?

You turned around, your head leaning against Steve’s chest. His large hand coming up to stroke your hair. Feeling his lips lightly against your hair.

“You’re amazing” He mumbles as your fingers trace patterns against his well trained chest.

“You too Steve” you mumbled back as you nuzzled further into him.

“Maybe we should get going, everyone should be here soon” he said as he reached for his phone.

“Yeah probably” you mumbled out as you wrapped the duvet around you to cover yourself up as you sat up.

He looked back at you, his legs still covered by the huge duvet and his blue eyes looked at you. Your hair messy, skin glowing and a smile grew on his lips.

He leaned in closer, taking your chin between his thumb and index finger and pulled your face closer to his. Lips touching slowly in a soft kiss and you couldn’t help the smile that grew.

“Or we can stay in for just a few more minutes” Steve mumbled against your lips and pulled you down on the bed again. Giggles leaving both or your lips.

...

You were currently in the meeting room, waiting for everyone to join you and Ellie, Elena and Natasha. The four of you had been talking for over an hour before everyone started to gather. People you had never seen before entered, lastly along with Steve a huge man walked inside. He looked absolutely smashed, his hair a mess, sunglasses covering his eyes and a beer can in hand.

“What purpose does he even have?” Elena whispered in your ear and it made a smile grew on your lips.

“It must be something good huh?” You whispered back and you could feel yourself sinking back into your chair as your eyes met Steve’s.

He didn’t look at you twice, or for long either and you started to feel like what happened between the two of you was something he strictly wanted to keep a secret. Or maybe even forget.

You took your notepad in hand as Tony started to explain what the infinity stones exactly were. You remembered the tesseract, the thing the German soldiers were looking for, what they used you to find.

You tried hard to keep up with everything everyone was telling you about. All the information making your head spin and not only that but everything that happened between you and Steve too. It was a bloody rollercoaster in there.

“He’s a goddamn mess isn’t he?” You heard Elena whisper out, you looked over at her, her eyes squinting towards the huge man upfront.

“Thor take it away” Steve said and the huge man stood still for a long time. Making everyone in the room to look at each other.

Finally the man opened his mouth and started speaking about the reality stone and how his ex had been possessed by this. While Thor rambled on about the story of the stone you couldn’t help but to look over at the super soldier in the corner, his arms folded over his chest making his biceps pop more and it did something to you. Even how happy that man had made you, you still wondered what his intentions were. Yeah, you figured out he was the one and only Captain America almost immediately, I mean he looks exactly like all this posters. But he wasn’t like you thought, he was good he truly was good and he had a golden heart. Yet, there was something about him you could really pin point out. He was strange in some ways, didn’t tell you much about himself and it made you wonder. Maybe you were in to get hurt, you just didn’t know.

...

A few hours later, you could still feel your head spinning and it made you nauseous yet you still roamed your room in circles. Everything about this idea was making you sick, travelling back in time and taking back all the stones, it still seemed unbelievable. Almost too good to be true. And what would you do when everything went back to the way it was? Just go on and hide? Afraid they’ll start to look for you again? You just couldn’t live with that.

Tears filled your eyes and you couldn’t help the scream that left your lips as you fell down to the floor, too many memories filling your head. Too many screams, too many dead bodies. Everything you’ve been trying to hide floating back to the surface. All the memories made your body shake and you looked down at your hands. The hands that had murdered thousands, tortured thousands and all the blood that used to run down them. You hated what Hydra made you but you couldn’t just erase that part of you and that part will forever haunt you.

You gripped your hair in panic as you could feel every regret, ever pain rush back to you in seconds. All the emotions leaving you almost death to everything that happened around you. When you felt arms around you, you just pushed the person away but he or she didn’t budge.

“Shh y/n, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here” It was Natasha’s voice soothing you down, her small hands gently rubbing your hair and back, bringing you closer to her.

“I can’t-I can’t” you sobbed out over and over again, Natasha’s heart breaking at the sight of you, realising exactly how broken you were.

“Hey, calm down, we’re here for you” You heard Ellie’s soft voice beside you, yet your sobbing didn’t stop.

“We are all here for you babe” Elena said and her hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look up into her piercing blue eyes. “We will never leave you”

Your breathing slowing down, your heartbeat getting back to normal and you no longer felt dizzy.

“Just breathe with me y/n” Elena said, her eyes never leaving yours.

...

Something you didn’t know was that in the room beside yours Steve could heat everything, every little breath, every scream. It was like torture to him but he told himself you didn’t want his help.

“Why are you torturing yourself?” That voice still startled him.

“She don’t want my help Tony” Steve said as the scientist walked into his room, a toothpick hanging from his mouth, sporting that iconic Tony look. Like nothing had changed.

“Are you telling yourself that Cap, or is she?” Tony said as he sat down on the desk chair.

“I-I don’t know” Steve mumbled out and Tony had a knowing look on his face.

“You like her, I see it in your eyes” Tony said and pointed at his own eyes with a small teasing smile on his lips.

“Tony, shut it”

“Oh you know I’m right, Capsicle” Tony said as he shook his head. “Go and comfort her you big idiot”

Something in Tony’s words made Steve raise to his feet and he walked over to your door that was still half open. He heard Elena’s voice, calming you down and how sweet they were to you. It made him back off, thinking you didn’t need his help, you had them. Yet, he needed to know that you were okay, he just needed to know.

He raised his hand to the wooden the door and knocked, Natasha’s head turning to his direction. She was quick on her feet and worry written all over her face.

“She okay?” Steve asked and Natasha could sense the worry in his voice.

“No, she needs all of us. I didn’t realise it was this bad” Natasha said, guilt filling her voice.

“Let me talk to her” Steve pleaded and Elena broke the eye contact with her friend to look up at Steve. Her eyes narrowing before looking back down at her. “Please”

His words coming out in almost a whisper but Elena shook her head. Making Natasha sigh and she looked back up at her closest friend, pushing him away from the doorway and closing the door with her.

“Steve, you need to start to focus. While you were busy snogging up to y/n the rest of us figured out the time travel thing, we need this to work. She need this to work, she needs to do something good, she’ll break otherwise Steve, they all will” Natasha said and guilt was evident in her voice. “I brought these beautiful girls into this, these broken women Steve. They still don’t know what life is and we don’t have time for you to fool around with one of them”

“I didn’t, I- it isn’t like that Nat? You know that” Steve mumbled out, clearly taken aback of what Natasha just said.

“Steve, after all of this we have time to sort this life thing out okay? But now, we all need to focus on what is important”

“But-“

“No, buts Steve, you and I have lost way too much. Don’t let them lose too”

...

Hours passed and you were tucked into your bed. The girls left your side about an hour ago and you fell asleep for about 30 minutes. Your mind still not at ease and you couldn’t relax, you needed to do something or else you would loose your mind.

You threw the covers of your body and walked out into the kitchen, thinking that food would probably ease your mind.

Once you reached the kitchen you opened the fridge, the room still black and your eyes had to adjust to bright light in the fridge.

“Not to be like that but um food is kind of my image” A deep voice startled you and a light scream left your lips.

“Oh god, you scared me” You said as you turned the lights on.

“I didn’t mean to scare you young lady” Thor said as he stuffed his mouth with ice cream.

“It’s okay, you wanna share?” You asked as you closed the fridge door and picked up a spoon.

“Alright, only this time” he said and sat the ice cream tub down on the table.

You sat down next to him, he didn’t smell as bad as you thought when you first laid your eyes on him. His dirty blond hair hanging over his face.

“Have you always been this um low?” You asked, your voice concerning which made him look up at you and that’s when you noticed the two different eye colours.

“No, losing against Thanos was hard on us all but I guess it took harder on me” He mumbled out and his eyes looking at you in disbelief.

“I understand that, I heard the story. We don’t need to go in detail” You said as you scooped ice cream on your spoon.

“How about you then huh? How come your like 100 years old?” He asked, mouth filled with ice cream.

“It’s a long story Thor, we would be here all week” You laughed out, realising that was the first time you had laughed all night.

“I have time” He said with a smile on his lips.

“You sound exactly like Elena” You laughed out and his smile grew wider.

“Is that so?” He said and you just shook your head.

“Yeah, you fancy her or some shit?” I joked out and he let out an awkward laugh.

“She’s beautiful, I have to admit that” He mumbled out and you smiled.

“I guess you should wash up then, maybe talk to her as a start” You laughed out and he did too.

Thor was nice, defiantly crushing your first impressions of the god in front of you. I guess they all have dark secrets like your own and maybe you don’t have to be afraid of finally doing something good. And that’s how your night continued, you bonded with Thor and you found a new friend whom you shared a lot of things in common with and god, did he have a huge crush on Elena and it made you laugh. You almost made it your mission to set those two up with each other, you just knew Elena would love the guy. I mean, he’s a god, of course she’ll love him. That was something that got you live through that night and you did fall asleep, finally. Yet, the last thing on your mind was Steve fucking Rogers…

To be continued…

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve x reader #steve x reader au #avenger #avengers x reader #Thor Odinson #tony stark #x reader #endgame

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firstpuffin · 6 years

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Using strict semantic definitions as justification for superiority: prescriptive pedants.

I was talking to one of my friends on Facebook when he sent me a screenshot of a conversation he was having with someone who, for the sake of anonymity, I’ll call “Idiot”. Idiot’s words were dripping with pretension as he complained about the word transphobia, because people are “not scared of trans-people”. Like, seriously? Are you serious, dude?

Bear in mind that everything I say here is being said by someone who takes issue with the common interchangeability of “headphones” and “earphones”; they are practically different, not just semantic and I feel it is worth keeping the distinction. So as somebody who claims to be a little bit too pedantic, I’m also saying that Idiot is taking it way too far.

-headphones over the head; earphones in the ears-

His argument is that the meaning of the word is the dictionary definition, but linguistics has an entire branch of study dedicated to the fact that it is not. Let’s go into definitions here (ironically): semantics is the strict, dictionary definition; I’d like to point out that my linguistics lecturer says never to use dictionaries, except for urbandictionary.com. Pragmatics is the practical usage of a word, how people actually use words; hence, the urban dictionary.

So Idiot was adamant that transphobia should mean “irrational fear of transsexuals”. Not that it does mind you, but that it should. Now this isn’t really necessary but I appreciate the irony here:

-even the dictionary disagrees with you, mate-

Now I’ve always been a bit too literal and have had to teach myself not to be, so I have almost certainly done similar; in fact, I vaguely remember doing so but I’m pretty sure that even then I knew better than to deliberately misinterpret people during conversation. Then again, I too was a pretentious little prick. But I was a literal-minded little prick, which is not unusual in dyslexic/dyspraxics like myself, and while I was vulnerable to feelings of superiority, that is not usual in literally anybody.

But I have noticed that such deliberate semantic pedantry is common in those who, let’s be honest here, have nothing else. I’m not particularly attractive, you can put my lack of physical ability down to the dyspraxia and it’s hard to feel intelligent when your mind is clouded by learning disabilities; I didn’t have much to be proud of. So I went full pedant, I took the feelings of superiority from “using language properly” or “better than the average person” etc.

I grew out of it. I realised how stupid it was, how backwards it is to stubbornly stand against the tide of reality. People are not perfect speakers and trying to be one was just a vain attempt at feeling superior. Some people still need to learn this. I improved at things: I entered higher education and got better and better grades. I got a job and increased in confidence and competence; I interacted with people and outgrew my prejudices while learning how to accept myself, even about things I didn’t yet understand. I re-entered education, again, and started doing better and better. I didn’t need to hold onto something as silly as pedantry anymore.

Unfortunately, some people don’t have everything I have gained and still cling to whatever makes them feel better about themselves. If you have read this so far and are getting angry at me for being an idiot or having no standards or something, then I want to ask: what does this achieve?

What do you accomplish by sticking to the literal definition of the word, even if it means there is miscommunication between you and your peers? The best thing that I can come up with is something like “I refuse to lower my standards” or the like, but that really doesn’t apply. For one thing, do you have any idea how many variations of our language there are? American and British English, then there are subcategories within those and subcategories within those AND then there is the developing language in Singapore which combines English with any number of other languages. Singlish (Singaporean English) is just one extreme variation of many. None of these languages are wrong; non-standard, yes, but that doesn’t mean wrong.

If that doesn’t do it for you then here is my last argument: language is always changing. My lecturers turned me on to https://www.etymonline.com/ where you can see what words used to mean. Take “luxury” for example: luxury means comfort or excessiveness or something like that, right? Nope. Luxury is a sex word.

-see? sex. then sin, then pleasure again, then excess...-

So what else? Well what about a rather offensive word? People like those, right? In that case, where do you think the word “faggot” comes from?

The first meaning was a bundle of sticks and if this site is to be trusted then it may also have been a derogatory term for women, what with both apparently being “deadweight” or a “burden” to a man. This may have lead to the current, offensive term towards men who like men...like women are supposed to. And that’s humanity, folks!

-we humans kind of suck, don’t we?-

Language changes through use; that is inevitable. It is also one of the more fascinating parts of language so if you truly love and respect English, then you should at least accept this.

Of course I don’t want to be misunderstood; I do cringe at a lot of non-standard speech. A particular pet-peeve of mine is the replacement of a comparative adjective or adverb with “more”, or heaven forbid combining them. “It’s more good that way” or “more better”. Shivers went up my arms just from typing that.

And just in case you don’t know, which is fair; faster is a comparative and fastest is a superlative, so “fast, faster, fastest”. I like learning, I hope you do too.

-this will make sense, just bear with me for a moment-

So how do I summarise this? Being pedantic is literally pointless; linguist Noam Chomsky declared that linguists were only interested in what he labelled “linguistic competence” which is the perfect language that people have unconsciously, untainted by anxiety, speed of speech or anything else that causes language to be imperfect. Which nobody uses. All of the imperfections were a part of the “linguistic performance” which he was happy to ignore. But what’s the point in studying something that nobody uses?

Well, okay yes there are uses for it, but not as many as learning about the way people actually speak, because this tells us about them. It tells us how they see themselves (inferior), how they want to be seen (superior), where they are from (America) and just so much more. Gender, sex, sexuality, job- the list goes on.

I figure that yes, doing something better than people can feel really good and may give you the confidence you lack, but think about what you are doing first. Are you really holding yourself to a higher standard? Or are you holding everyone else to a lower one?

#first puffin #english language #sociolinguistics #language #pragmatics #semantics #accents #dialects #experience #pedantic #prescriptive #thosetagswilldofornow

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sophie-zadeh · 3 years

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Statement Analysis: Christian Porter Denies Historical Rape Allegation

Guest Post

I’m excited to announce that Colin Ector, talented Statement Analyst and author of this article, has kindly agreed to let me re-post his article here on the My Alcomy blog. Colin published the article on 24 March 2021, on his blog Through the Lens of Statement Analysis.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

—Sophie

Christian Porter “Strenuously Denied” Allegations

Earlier this month Attorney General Christian Porter identified himself as the Australian cabinet minister accused of historical rape and has “strenuously denied” all the allegations against him in a Perth press conference.

His accuser spoke to detectives at Kings Cross station in February 2020 and was in contact with them at least 5 times thereafter in the following three months. On June 23rd the woman emailed Police to say she no longer wanted to proceed with reporting the matter. At that point, she had not yet made a formal statement. She took her own life the next day.

After her death police came into possession of a personal document/statement made by the woman sometime prior to detailing the accusations. This document was made available to some media outlets.

Christian Porter Rape Allegation Statement—Content Summary

Katherine Murphy, the Guardian’s political editor summarised the contents of the statement.

I have shortened this to the following bullet points.

1. The alleged assault took place on a specific date in January 1988.

2. The accuser ironed Porter’s shirt prior to the assault.

3. Porter made lewd comments about her breasts and said she would make a good housewife.

4. The accuser agreed to a non-penetrative sex act at Porter’s request after an evening out in Sydney.

5. Porter then allegedly sexually assaulted (raped) her more than once that same evening.

6. The accuser states she was drunk and felt dizzy.

7. The details recounted in the woman’s statement are graphic.

8. She says the man helped her clean up afterwards, including washing her body and her hair.

9. she was “deeply shocked and ashamed” in the aftermath, and told nobody about what had happened."

Although we cannot analyse this list of bullet points there a couple of things to note.

Statement Analysis: Reliable Denial

1. We have a specific time, date and place named for the assault. This is important in that it gives us the expectation that the accused will give a reliable denial. A reliable denial consists of 3 things.

a. The pronoun “I”. This places the subject psychologically in his words. It is very powerful and its absence is not to be missed. It can indicate a desire to not be present. A missing pronoun “I” creates distance psychologically between the subject (speaker, writer) and his or her words. The more serious or heinous the allegation the more likely it is that this powerful psychological presence (The use of “I”) will be used when denying the allegation. It is instinctive and intuitive.

b. “did not”, or “didn’t”. Either is fine. The use of “never” elongates time. This is why it is important to know the context. Is the allegation of a specific time and place? Is it clear what the allegation is? In this case, we have established date, time, location and that consensual non-penetrative sex is alleged, as well as rape at least twice thereafter.

c. The specific allegation stated. In this case both consensual non-penetrative sex and rape.

A Psychological Need to Wash

2. Also, worth noting is the mentioning of washing. The accuser’s account allegedly includes that Porter helped wash her body after the assault. Those that commit sexual offences often include in their language the mentioning of washing or water after the assault has taken place. They have a psychological need to wash themselves clean of the deed they have done. Language and reality sometimes mirror each other in this way.

For the sake of understanding of how instinctive this is, imagine for a moment you are waiting in your car at a traffic light and another car fails to break in time and rams straight up the back of you. When the police arrive the driver of the other car tells the officer, in front of you, that you reversed into him, when he was sitting at the lights.

What would be the first thing you would say? Would you say “Naa Never happened”? Would you say, “I can say categorically that nothing of that nature ever happened”?

It is very likely that the first word to come out of your mouth would be the personal pronoun “I”, followed by “did not” and then “reverse into him”. You may well say a lot of other things…., but the reliable denial will usually appear early and often. A personal accusation should produce a personal pronoun response.

Christian Porter Press Conference

Twenty Denials

The press conference went on for more than forty minutes. In this time Porter denied the allegations repeatedly. He was reported in the press as “Strenuously denying all allegations against him”. On closer inspection did he deny having consensual non-penetrative sex or raping his accuser?

Below are all of Porter’s 20 denials from the press conference.

1. And I hope that whatever else happens, from this point, that you will understand that in saying today that the things that are being claimed to have happened did not happen, that I do not mean to impose anything more upon your grief.

2. what is being alleged did not happen

3. nothing in the allegations that have been printed ever happened.

4. I can say categorically that what has been put in various forms and allegations simply did not happen.

5. something that simply did not happen,

6. Reporter: Is your defence here that you didn't sleep with the alleged victim or it was consensual?

Mr Porter: I did not sleep with the victim. We didn't have anything of that nature happen between us.

7. I can say to you all, it didn't happen

8. I can only say to you it didn't happen.

9. all I could say is what I have said to you today, that it just didn't happen.

10. Reporter: Were you ever alone, the two of you?

Mr Porter: Look, I just — I don't think so.

11. All I have by way of the allegations is what I have literally read, the same things that you would have read. They just didn't happen.

12. something that just didn't happen 33 years ago. So, if that happens, I couldn't succeed to disapprove something that didn't happen

13. they just didn't happen.

14. Could I have forgotten the things that have been printed? Could I have forgotten or misconstrued the things that I have read, which are said to have occurred? Absolutely not. They just didn't happen

15. You allegedly then forced her to perform oral sex on you and that after that you raped her twice. What do you say to that allegation?

Mr Porter: Just it didn't happen, and it's not true.

16. I'm not commentating on survival or politics. I'm simply saying to you all, that I did — it just did not happen.

17. Was there a time that you spent alone with this person?

Mr Porter: It's not impossible, but I have never been in the person's room or anything like that.

18. you don't remember having any other kind of relationship with her?

Mr Porter: It's because I didn't.

19. I'm just saying, it didn't happen.

20. I will finish by saying the things that I have read did not happen, and to suggest that they could be forgotten is ridiculous. They just never happened.

Wow! Twenty denials of a terrible allegation and yet he is unwilling or unable to give a single reliable denial. There are some worthy mentions within these.

The Pronoun “I”

Porter demonstrates that the pronoun “I” comes naturally to him as it does with all of us who speak the English language. He uses it several times to deny the accusations but to what does he connect himself so strongly?

“I can say categorically”, “I can say to you all”, “I can only say to you”, “All I can say”, “I’m simply saying to you all” and “I’m just saying”.

All of the above use the pronoun “I”, places him psychologically there. But where does he go? He uses the personal pronoun to tell us what he can say. That is where the weight of the sentence is. It is not to the denial.

This is similar to a Police officer in a press conference where he is not permitted to make public some of the details of a case. “All I can say is that the suspect was white and about 6 foot tall.” This would likely be an indication that there is more information that the officer has that he is not going to tell the press.

“I did not go to the shop” is reliable. “I can only say that me at the shop never happened”, is not. The weight is what I am able say rather than what I’m saying. This is how deception works. The stress of a true lie will be avoided by the brain 90 percent plus of the time.

Sleeping with the ‘Victim’

Denial #6 is also interesting.

Reporter: Is your defence here that you didn't sleep with the alleged victim or it was consensual?

Mr Porter: I did not sleep with the victim. We didn't have anything of that nature happen between us.

At first glance this looks good. Pronoun “I” followed by “did not”. But, then not only is the allegation parroted from the reporter (“sleep with the victim”) but it is not the allegation against him.

We all have a subjective internal dictionary. What is it to “sleep with someone” in the subject’s internal dictionary?

In most people’s internal dictionary to “sleep with someone” is likely consensual penetrative intercourse with the possible addition of spending the night together. This may of course differ, but it is unlikely that either oral sex or rape would be included under the umbrella of “sleeping together”. The subject needs to be asked “what is sleeping together?”

The language of sex differs greatly for different people.

“Sexual relations” for Bill Clinton meant penetrative sex allowing him to say reliably, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman Miss Lewinsky”. He did not lie. Oral sex was not included in his internal definition of “sexual relations”. Miss Lewinsky’s dictionary definition differed from Clinton’s as did Hilary’s judging by the black eye Clinton sported in the aftermath.

Lastly in this particular denial is the use of the word “victim”. It is parroted from the journalist words meaning that it did not come from the subject himself in the free editing process. That it remained in the subject’s reply is still unexpected and concerning.

Had it not been parroted it would be very concerning. Some suspects have used similar phrasing and worse describing their accusers as “my victim” thereby taking ownership of the victim. That is not the case here, but its use is still not good.

Self-Censoring

In denial #16 the subject self-censors. It looks as if he was going to say, “I did not….” but was unable to. It is amazing how the brain won’t allow the true lie. He says, “I did”, and then pauses. In a fraction of a second the brain protects itself from the stress of a true lie as he reverts back to his repeated sentence with psychological distance between himself and the denial.

“I'm not commentating on survival or politics. I'm simply saying to you all, that I did — it just did not happen.”

In conclusion within the press conference, there were twenty separate occasions where either the subject was put in a position where a reliable denial was expected, or he created an opportunity to give one himself.

Both the accusation of consensual non-penetrative sex and the allegation of rape are still very much a possibility and moving towards being likely by this many unreliable denials and distancing language. This is not however definitive, and the accuser’s statement would be preferable for a complete conclusion.

—by Colin Ector

Christian Porter’s Body Language

It was fascinating to read the hidden communication that Colin deciphered from Christian Porter’s statements. Thank you Colin for contributing your article to the My Alcomy blog.

Statement analysis and reading body language (or other nonverbal behaviours) complement each other. Both independently draw on subtle communication cues which point towards the truth—yet usually go unnoticed. Each is valuable as a tool for gaining a better understanding of others. Together, they offer even more information—the bigger picture—what is really going on in the mind of the communicator.

I haven’t analysed Christian Porter’s nonverbal behaviours, instead, I thought I’d hand it over to you. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’ll have (hopefully) picked up some knowledge along the way of the meaning of specific nonverbal behaviours.

Check out the video below, test your observational skills and let me know what you can decipher from Christian Porter’s nonverbal behaviour.

#Statement Analysis #Christian Porter #Deception #Lying

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marvelhead17 · 5 years

Text

Miracle (Original Female Character x Cable)

Chapter 21

Summary: “How did you fix it?” he asked. “Ask Ellen the Teenage Warhead,” Wade shrugged as he stood up, “As for baby Hitler he ended up having a diaper change, funny story I was actually going to call Cable since he was so keen on killing Russel, I thought this would be like taking candy from a baby, if that means replacing it with a bullet that is,”

Warnings to cover the whole fic: Graphic depictions of violence, use of weapons, mild to strong language, mentions of rape, mentions of pregnancy and miscarriage, referenced torture and psychological abuse/manipulation, nightmares and night terrors, sexual humour, sexual content.

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: It’s a little messy with all the Russian I’ll admit, sorry.

Three Weeks Later

The X-Force including Colossus decided that they needed a break from the X-mansion and have a bit of normalcy for once, considering that they were mutants of course, they ended up finding a sweet little diner just on the outskirts of the city that happily welcomed the small group of heroes and anti-heroes.

“What in the hell is that?” Nathan asked as Hayden had her food placed in front of her, she grinned.

“This? Only the best food in man’s entire existence, it has the essentials of bacon which every breakfast needs, pancake stacks which are the epitome of the American Dream, fresh bananas because we need something healthy- and fried bananas are absolutely disgusting- and then Maple syrup, the best syrup you could ever have,”

“That’s a crap ton of sugar, natural and manufactured, you’re going to be bouncing out of here,” Nathan shook his head staring at the meal.

“I haven’t eaten since Tuesday, leave me alone,” she stuck her tongue out playfully.

“It’s Friday, how the hell have I not noticed that?”

“Simple: you’re not as observant as you think you are, nobody is. In fact if you asked anyone how observant they think they are, chances are they-” she paused and turned around in her seat to look at the TV that was broadcasting the news.

“Hades?” Nathan asked, the woman on the TV was clearly heard as the diner went silent.

“Chaos ensues in New York today as the man wanted across thirty states for child trafficking pummels through Downtown in a large tank, and what appears to be a small army of soldiers wearing uniforms that, from what we can see, have skulls with tentacles printed on them-”

“Wade,” she stood up from her seat in the booth, her eyes not leaving the screen.

“What?” he looked up from his conversation with Domino, “Oh shit,” he stood up slowly.

“He’s not getting away this time,” she spoke through gritted teeth as she moved out of the booth and she headed towards the door to leave.

“Who’s not getting away?” Colossus asked looking very confused.

“Her father,” Wade said as he pointed at the TV, “That man.” He realised she was out the door now, “HAYDES WAIT, YOU CAN’T JUST- fuck balls!”

“Language,” Colossus shook his head.

“I don’t give a shit about my language Silver Surfer; she’s going to fucking kill him in front of everyone!” he yelled before following her out. “WAIT!”

In the time it had taken Wade to follow her out she had rewired a nearby motorbike’s electronics and drove away just as he had exited through the door. The others had joined him outside as he watched the bike turn into a speck in the distance.

“Fuck, what are we going to do?” Wade asked worriedly.

“I don’t see why we have to stop her, she told me what he did to her, it’s only right that he dies,” Nathan shrugged.

“Of course it’s fucking right, God do you people not have Court Procedures in the future?”

“No,”

“Well, shut up fuck face!” he threw his hands in the air in a huff of annoyance, “Point is: she’s going to be on public television killing a man brutally and there’ll be a trial because ‘killing is wrong no matter how bad the person was’,” Wade rolled his eyes after doing his air quotes.

“Wade, do not mock- he is right though, this will reflect poorly for all mutants even if she is not technically one, we must stop her,”

“Unless you can sprout a pair of glorious angelic wings right now and fly us there on your spectacularly ripped muscular back, the only option is stealing which you’d be against, so what’s your plan Big Boy?”

“I think I can help with that,” Domino spoke with a grin as she heard a horse whinny somewhere nearby.

* * *

Hades turned the engine off and made her way over to the police barrier that had formed on one of the main roads, she walked between two parked cars and had ducked under the yellow tape successfully, and then a voice called out to her.

“Miss- don’t take another step further, come back behind the yellow tape and return to the crowds,” a stern male voice commanded.

“You cops just stay out of my way, I can do a lot more damage than the man in his little toy tank, I guarantee you,” she glanced over her shoulder and they stood back as her eyes glowed violet and her skin was starting to as well.

“She’s one of those mutants,” a younger cop said nervously.

“I don’t care what she is, the law is the law and right now she’s disobeying it intentionally- HEY, GET BACK HERE!”

She turned her attention back to the tank and walked forward gaining some speed before feeling satisfied at the distance between her and the tank, she felt small nips on her arms, her chest and her head and looked around to see the soldiers in Hydra gear shooting at her, or at least attempting to.

The bullets ricocheted and some of the soldiers had to jump out the way to narrowly avoid their own bullets, the police had inched forward but now retreated back in fear that they themselves may be injured in the process, she raised her right foot in the air and eyed the man standing halfway out of the entrance to the tank before stomping with full force into the tarred road.

The ground rippled underneath and a crack split up through the ground and travelled all the way to the tank, it wobbled unstably and with no aid designed into it to rectify itself if it were to get knocked over, it fell to its side nearly killing its passengers in the process.

“I still don’t know how you managed to find a horse and carriage in New York during the summer, and I don’t know how we managed to survive dying nearly five times on the way here, but God is amazing and keep shooting those lucky laser beams you amazing being,” Deadpool babbled as they all hopped out of the carriage.

“Thanks for the faith Wade,” Domino smiled, she stroked the horse gently on the snout and it whinnied before running away, carriage in tow, she turned and pointed ahead of them. “There she is,”

“Shit, she’s already ploughed the road into a shithole and knocked over the tank,” Wade informed them, “Let’s go get her,” they too walked through the barrier the police had formed.

“Oh COME ON, does nobody respect the law anymore?” the officer from earlier yelled.

Hades climbed onto the side of the tank and clenched her fist before raising it in the air and throwing it with full force into the tank’s side, the reinforced metal groaned and snapped under the pressure as she widened the hole she had made, she crouched down, leaned over the hole and reached down into it.

Her friends watched in awe at the level of strength that had yet to have seen in full display, almost being too caught up in the moment had it not been for Deadpool and Cable, they motioned for Colossus and Domino to move out the way as a grenade exploded nearby. Debris shot up into the air and acted as mini projectiles among the bullet fire.

She raised him out of the hole by his throat, he choked slightly but that didn’t stop him from grinning down at her as she made him dangle off the ground, she tightened her grip.

She gritted through clenched teeth in perfectly clear Russian, “Privet Papa,”

A large fisted hand slammed into the side of her face and she lost her grip and he fell to the ground, had it not been for the fact that she was superhuman she could have died from the effect of the whiplash to her neck, she steadied herself on her feet to look up at her assailant.

She looked at him, he was at least a foot and a half taller than her if not more, and he gave a cynical grin as he pounded his fist into his palm and walked forward.

“Vam ne nuzhno vypolnyat' yego prikazy, vam ne nuzhno ubivat', i vy mozhete byt' samim soboy-”

“YA by khotel, chtoby ty poproboval,”

They both charged forward with raised fists.

“What the hell were they saying to each other?” Cable asked Colossus as he knocked one of the last soldiers down.

“I know right? She totally needs subtitles; maybe we should ask the writer to add those in for us?” Deadpool chimed in.

“Apparently that large man is Hades’ brother and the normal man is her father, Hades told her brother to choose better path and he insisted he is on right one, the father mentioned killing of her mother and that the brother is the perfect human weapon?” Colossus said looking confused.

“To summarise: Her father was a cunt, and a huge one at that. There’s no way she’s going to back down even if this might get her killed,” Deadpool said with a frown. “Oh God-” he pointed at Hades and her hulk of a brother lunging towards each other.

Hades hit him in the stomach which caused him to grunt, he retaliated with an uppercut which made her stumble back, she shook her head and gasped when her throat suddenly closed up. She stared into the angry deep blue eyes that bored into her, the pressure around her throat increasing; she felt her lungs burning with every breath that she tried to take in as her brother held her in a deadly grip.

________________________________________________________________

Translations in order:

“Privet Papa,” - Hello Father

“Tvoya mat' ostavila odnu khoroshuyu veshch', prezhde chem ya yeye pokonchil. Poznakom'sya so svoim bratom, moya dorogaya doch', i vot velikolepiye yego formy, sovershennogo chelovecheskogo oruzhiya,” - Your mother left one good thing before I ended her. Meet your brother my darlin’ daughter, and behold the magnificence of his form, the perfect human weapon

“Vam ne nuzhno vypolnyat' yego prikazy, vam ne nuzhno ubivat', i vy mozhete byt' samim soboy-” - You don’t have to follow his orders, you don’t have to kill, and you can be your own person-”

“YA lyublyu ubivat'. Net nichego boleye zakhvatyvayushchego, chem videt', kak svet istekayet iz glaz cheloveka, kogda yego dushi pokidayut melkuyu shelukhu. YA budu sledovat' pod yego komandovaniyem do togo dnya, kogda umru, potomu chto on velikiy lider,” - I like to kill. There is nothing more thrilling than seeing the light drain from a person’s eyes as their souls exit their petty husks. I will follow under his command until the day I die, for he is a great leader

“Togda segodnya budet poslednyaya komanda, kotoruyu vy poluchite. K sozhaleniyu, ya ne mogu pozvolit' tebe zhit', yesli ty verish' yego slovu, on ubil nashu sobstvennuyu mat', chtoby udovletvorit' yego sobstvennyye zhelaniya. Eto nichego ne znachit dlya vas?” - Then today will be the last command you will receive. Unfortunately I cannot let you live if you believe his word, he killed our own mother to satisfy his own desires. Does that mean nothing to you?

“YA by khotel, chtoby ty poproboval,” - I’d like to see you try,”

>> Chapter 22 <<

#deadpool #deadpool 2 #wade wilson #cable #nathan summers #fire fist #russell collins #marvel #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #writing #hope summers #original character #hayden jones #piotr rasputin #colossus

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zutaraverse · 7 years

Text

I Always Want to Kiss You Katara... Ch1: Overhearing Girl Talk

Ch1 of latest silliness that has fallen out of my head. You can also read it on AO3 and FanFiction if thats’s what you prefer... Rated M for sexual tings

Summary:

During their stay on Ember Island preparing for Sozin's Comet, some things are brought into sharp focus... namely the feelings between Zuko and Katara... through all the possible teenagery tropes out there because I want a little silliness once in a while! Expect overheard conversations, drunken nights on the beach, drinking games, fluff and a good dose of smut later on. Don't know how long this will be, it just literally needed to get out of my head! I'm guessing something like 4 or 5 chapters... Also... let us just assume Katara is like 15/16 or whatever the age of consent is wherever you're reading this! It would make Sokka a year older at 17, Suki and Zuko also at 17. Aang and Toph can remain at 13.

Notes: Here you go, silliness part 1, featuring overheard conversations. I'm sure I've read a fic with a similar set up that probably inspired this particular chapter but I can't find it anymore to credit it!! Anyway enjoy and as always drop me a comment if you like it :)

“….and then we went to the prison to free all the earth benders because Katara had a massive crush on Haru - you remember him, from the Air Temple?” Sokka was saying, recounting in a rather exaggerated manner their early adventures for Zuko and Suki and Toph.

“I did not have a crush on him!” protested Katara, going red in the face.

“You so did! Anyway, stop interrupting! Where was I? Oh yeah….” Continued Sokka, unfazed by his sister’s embarrassment.

“Toph, Katara, I think we need to have a chat in the living room,” said Suki a while later, smoothly plucking the two girls from the room and shifting them to a more secluded spot.

Aang and Sokka were arguing about something to do with boomerangs and how to combine airbending with the weapon so as to reach high berries found in the fire nation. After a few minutes Zuko decided the girls were probably more entertaining and got up to join them.

“I can tell you’re lying Sugar Queen,” he heard Toph say as he approached the living room, “you sooooo had a thing with Haru!” Zuko didn’t want to think why his heart stuttered a little bit at that.

“Fine! I fancied him just a little bit ok? Is that what you want to hear? But nothing happened!” Katara was getting defensive.

Zuko realised Toph must know he was hovering and so pushed his way into the room, trying to hide the irritation at that last comment.

“I didn’t know you were into moustaches and beards Katara,” he teased. Toph sniggered.

“He didn’t have a beard when I first met him!” cried Katara, blushing furiously.

“Zuko, no offence but this is a girl talk, you should go back to your manly men,” said Suki forcefully. Zuko snorted.

“Beat it Sparky, we’re trying to figure out Katara’s type! Important stuff!” Zuko sighed, but his gaze lingered on Katara’s blushing cheeks before he retreated back to the boys.

“What are they talking about in there?” asked Sokka when Zuko joined them. Ah they obviously had noticed his absence.

“Something about trying to figure out Katara’s type,” he shrugged, dropping back down on the steps.

“Type of what?” asked Aang, suddenly interested. Zuko raised his good eyebrow.

“Type of man,” he said, emphasising the word ‘man’ so that the kid would get the hint and stay away from her. Aang looked shifty.

“I…uh…I forgot something in the other room… I’ll be right back…” he mumbled as he sped away. Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Suki will not be happy,” Zuko muttered.

“Suki…” said Sokka dreamily. “Oh wait! Suki will kill him if she catches him eavesdropping!!” snapped Sokka, jumping to his feet. “You coming to retrieve Aang?” he asked Zuko.

“Oh I am not getting involved,” replied Zuko. But when Sokka was out of sight he jumped up and went to the floor above, grimacing at his own childish curiosity. He and Azula used to look through a hole from the floor above to watch what happened in the living room. He pushed those memories away, but made his way down the deserted upper corridor and lay down on the floor, putting his eye to the little spyhole carefully not making any noise. He knew that Toph couldn’t sense him up here on the wood, and would probably not be listening out for him either, so as long as he stayed quiet he should be alright.

Zuko could see Aang crouched in a corner just behind the couch and Sokka on the floor on the corner of the door, just out of sight of the girls, trying to get Aang to leave. He also noticed Toph’s lips twitch as she sensed them there, but they were deep in conversation. Toph did not look happy.

“…so he was just really sweet to me and… I don’t know kind of rugged and rough around the edges but I thought he was fighting for the greater good…” Katara was saying, fidgeting with her shirt.

“Ok so, you liked the rough look in Jet,” summarised Suki, “and the good heart,” she quickly added at Katara’s scowl. “Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! I’m totally into that too! That’s why I like your brother - he’s so brave and his heart is in the right place and he is fiercely loyal…” Zuko saw Sokka’s expression soften and he stopped trying to get to Aang, instead listening intently. Zuko, instead, had a burning dislike of Jet which he had recently buried but which flared up even stronger. He breathed out and calmed himself down.

“What’s it like, Suki? When you and Sokka kiss?” asked Katara, hugging her knees. Toph scoffed.

“Why on earth would you ask that Sugar Queen?!” she asked, “It’s not like we need more reminders of what they’re up to!” Suki threw a pillow at her.

“No… I mean… what do you feel when you kiss? I want to know what its meant to be like?” persisted Katara, big blue eyes honestly interested.

“Well.. there are lots of different types of kisses… at the beginning I was all fluttery in my stomach and it was like time stopped when we kissed and it felt so right! Like we were made to be doing that! But now there are other kisses too.. when one of us is feeling down there are kisses that remind you there are good things too, and when I’m tired he’ll kiss me to give me a little bit of strength… and then there are the passionate kisses which you know… are sort of a promise of other things and they sort of consume you like fire so you don’t know where you are anymore…” Zuko frowned. Was Sokka brushing a tear from his eye? What was this!

But inside Zuko thought that he’d had maybe some of the preamble kisses from Mai, but no comforting ones, none there to give him energy… they were mostly expectant kisses, leading up to something else…in fact he was pretty sure Mai had some sort of internal timer for how long they should be kissing before moving on to other things.. and time definitely didn’t stop! What a silly idea!

“With Jet I was just really nervous. And he was a little… um… forceful? It was alright but nothing like losing track of time,” frowned Katara.

“Maybe he just wasn’t a very good kisser,” offered Toph, “although from what you said it sounds like he had enough experience.” Katara groaned and covered her blushing face with her hands. Zuko's eyes narrowed. He didn't like the sound of whatever else Jet had experience in. Sokka was probably thinking the same thing as his hand went to the boomerang tied to his side.

“No I think, you know, I know Sokka, so its special. Its nothing to do with technique or whatever - I had to teach him that -” Suki started, Toph interrupting her with a howl of laughter. Zuko could see Sokka’s face going red up to the tips of his ears. “BUT,” Suki continued, ignoring Toph as much as she could, “it means that I see him watching me and I can already taste what the kiss will be like and I just find myself pressed against him before I know what I’m doing. Its sort of magical. I don’t think you can have that with somebody you don’t really know.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” answered Katara. Zuko thought of Mai again. How he couldn’t tell what was going on with her at all - she could look at him with the same gaze she stared down anybody and then she would be leaning in for a kiss. He pushed it to the back of is mind. He noticed Toph shifting uncomfortably where she was sitting.

“What about when you and Aang kissed?” she asked.

“Oh well.. he kissed me really! And I think it was just from the relief you know, that we were still alive after the invasion. It was a little weird to be honest… he’s like a little brother to me, and he’s so young!” said Katara thoughtfully, flipping her plait to her back.

Unknown to her, Aang scooted out, tears in his eyes. Sokka followed a split second later, looking torn as to whether to stay or go after his friend. Zuko sighed. Oh Toph, he thought. But the little guy needed to hear it at some point, and this way Katara wouldn’t have to break it to him - because Zuko seriously doubted whether she had it in her to break his heart to his face. Toph had clearly thought this through.

And strangely, Zuko felt a massive weight lifted from his shoulders, although he wasn’t sure why exactly. It was obvious she didn’t feel the same way towards Aang as he felt to her, but there was still some doubt in Zuko’s mind. And that was getting in the way of training. Yeah. That was it. Can’t train a delusional, love sick puppy in firebendng! Maybe now Aang will have some power behind his punches. Yeah… that’s why he was relieved… no other explanation for it!

Below him they were talking again. Zuko listened in.

“Oh God, Sugar Queen! Spit it out!” Toph was saying.

“Okok, I just wanted to ask if you … you know… touch yourself… like at night…” Zuko blushed so hard he felt the tip of his good ear go red.

“Oh nah I don’t. They talked about it a lot at the Earth Rumble but don’t really feel like it…” Toph replied, completely unfazed. Zuko wondered exactly how much Toph knew about everything, because she seemed pretty well informed for somebody so young!

“Oh sweetie, Toph, you’re a little young! One day you’ll try it and it will be good! But just do it when its natural for you alright? Katara, for your age its completely normal. Amongst our warriors we actually have scrolls teaching us the best ways to bring pleasure because we train in independence. Sometimes men use that kind of pleasure to control our loyalties. So we need to make sure our girls know they can do everything themselves!” Suki said, proudly.

“Really,” gasped Katara, “That’s a pretty cool thing to do! I just sort of… fumble around… I don’t really know what I’m doing most of the time…” admitted Katara.

Suki clapped her hands. “Well girls, listen in and I’ll give you some tips!” she sounded excited to be sharing her information, and both Toph and Katara leaned forward.

Zuko decided this was probably way past the time for him to leave, so he quietly picked himself up and lightly tiptoed to the wing of the house with the bedrooms, careful not to make a sound.

He scowled as he shut his door behind him. He couldn’t deny that a certain waterbender doing those things wasn’t a tad arousing, but he needed to calm down and keep it under control. He knew that as soon as he admitted being attracted to her to himself he would have to admit to how long that attraction had been happening… and whether it was indeed just attraction….He breathed out smoke and walked out onto the balcony. There he could see Sokka running around trying to talk to Aang, but the little airbender was kicking up a real storm of sand, trying to keep Sokka away. Eventually, he snapped open his glider and flew off. Zuko ground his teeth. Now was not the time to be running away. He better be back by morning firebending practice or so help him.

Zuko ran a hand through his hair before flipping off the balcony and striding out to meet Sokka.

“Hey Sokka,” he greeted. Sokka jumped, still looking at the patch of dark sky Aang had disappeared into.

“Oh hey Zuko!” he said, all too casually.

“Why has Aang flown away?” asked Zuko, seriously.

“Oh well… you see…” Sokka started, clearly looking for an excuse, but stopped at Zuko’s no-nonsense expression, “See its like this… we were eavesdropping on the girls’ conversation and Katara kind of admitted she wasn’t into Aang - and you know how Aang follows her around all the time! He didn’t take it too well…”

“You think he had no idea?” asked Zuko, genuinely interested.

“Thats what I said! I mean its not like she’s falling into his arms or anything! To be honest its been getting on my nerves a little bit…” trailed off Sokka looking a little guilty.

“Yeah,” agreed Zuko, “she mothers him too much. And how could she be sexually attracted to a twelve year old! That would be strange.”

Sokka’s eyes went wide. “My sister isn’t sexually attracted to anybody!” he cried, jamming a finger into Zuko’s chest for emphasis, “but… yeah… especially not a little brother like Aang. She treats Aang like she used to treat me… expect better cause, you know, he’s the Avatar and needs to defeat the Fire Lord blah di blah di blah. Honestly Zuko, you’re the only one Katara doesn’t mother!” Sokka sighed, looking into the sky again. Something fluttered in Zuko's chest

“He better come back,” growled Zuko.

“Yeah he will, Aang just needs some time to himself, that’s all,” said Sokka but not exactly convinced himself.

“I’m going to bed,” announced Zuko, turning on his heel. He didn’t exactly want to have a heart to heart with the Avatar over the heartbreaking realisation that the girl who mothers him doesn’t share his little crush.

“I’ll stay here and wait a little longer,” said Sokka. Zuko nodded and headed off. He supposed that if Sokka didn't get Aang under control they would need to admit to the girls they were eavesdropping. And that little tidbit of information was sure to cause a stir.

As he passed the living room, Zuko couldn’t help himself hearing what was going on… although he didn’t pause his step for fear of Toph’s wrath.

“Come on Sweetness, who is it you think about when you have Sugar Time?” came Toph’s mocking voice. Zuko frowned. Sugar Time! Argh!

“Oh nobody…” said Katara. He could almost hear the blush in her voice.

“Ooooh is it somebody we know?” asked Suki with an excitement only rivalled by Ty Lee.

“No, nobody you know,” said Katara. Zuko was almost out of hearing.

“Liar!” cried Toph.

Zuko went to his room, trying not to think that through. It was going to be a very hot and stuffy night.

Zuko couldn’t sleep. He would not be giving in to all the images overhearing that little talk had given him, but neither could they damned well leave him alone! Eventually he got up to make himself some chamomile tea.

When he arrived at the kitchen though there was light spilling out. He turned in and saw Katara sitting at the table, a teapot and cup in front of her. His heart leapt to his throat. She looked up and her eyes widened slightly in shock, before quickly looking away.

“I… I couldn’t sleep,” he said in explanation. “Can I come in? I wanted some chamomile.”

“I actually just made some I was waiting to brew, if you want,” she replied, gesturing to the one on the table. Zuko nodded and crossed to pick another teacup from the cupboard and sat down at the table with her. They were silent for a while, waiting for the brew to finish, and then Katara gently poured them both a cup. Zuko still said nothing Something was obviously worrying her and she would talk when she was ready.

"Can I ask you something Zuko?" she said finally, fixing him with timid but inquisitive eyes. Zuko nodded. "You've... you've had sex right?"

Zuko's good eyebrow rose. He was not expecting that - but in retrospect it would be obvious that was on her mind. Spirits it was on his mind enough!

"When you... kissed... was it... was it you know... magical?" she asked, blushing, and he understood that she meant more than just kissing. He thought back to Suki's answer earlier and he sighed.

"No, not really. It was nice. Fun. A little awkward." Zuko wondered how on earth he had now been drawn into girl talk! Katara hummed pensively.

"See, that's it was like with Jet! Oh I mean the kissing. Not the sex. We didn't... you know... anyway, Suki said that with Sokka its sort of like magic and time stops," she blabbered, clearly a little uncomfortable with the discussion. Zuko decided two things: he hated Jet and he had no pity for her. He would not be helping her out of her awkwardness. She had started it.

Alright maybe he had a little pity.

"I think," he said kindly, "that Sokka and Suki have something really special."

Katara suddenly made eye contact with him, large blue locking with his eyes for a few heartbeats, before lowering to observe her tea.

"Yeah, I guess so." She took a sip. "Have I ever told you how Sokka and Suki met?" she asked, suddenly more upbeat. Zuko shook his head, taking a sip of the chamomile.

Katara launched into a tale of Sokka's disregard for the female warriors and how he had been forced to wear a dress to make up for his lack of skills and had trouble with the makeup - how Suki had kicked his arse on multiple occasions only to turn around and offer to train him in Kyoshi ways. Zuko thought he could listen to the sound of her voice all night. He found himself laughing along with her descriptions and found how she used more swear words and crude descriptions when she spoke to him as opposed to when she spoke to Aang. Not quite Toph standard, but somewhere more like Suki in her directness.

“Its just so strange you know? That at the beginning of it all he was a useless fighter while she was already trained but he never gave up against her anyway. And they had completely different takes on the war and he managed to change her mind to get involved. I mean they pretty much hated one another at first! She even tied us all to a pole the first time we met! Sokka was not happy about that at all!” she giggled. The laughter died on her lips when she realised Zuko was no longer laughing with her.

Zuko’s heart was beating faster than normal. Sokka and Suki’s story… it seemed like a miniature version of his and Katara’s. He had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was it hope? Why would he hope? He tried to shake it away, but realised his hesitation had made her stop laughing and was regarding him with an odd look. He studied his tea for a while.

“Its good… that they found each other… in the midst of war,” he said eventually. There was another silence as he thought about when he’d tied Katara to the tree. He knew she was thinking about the same thing by the way she played with her necklace.

“You know, I didn’t know… about your necklace… I’m sorry,” he murmured. She looked up, surprised he’d read her thoughts so easily.

“I know Zuko, its alright. I never thought I’d see it again when I lost it anyway,” she replied in a low, sincere voice.

“Just, if I’d known I wouldn’t have used it. That was not… honourable,” he insisted, running a hand through his hair.

Katara snorted. “A lot more honourable that what I thought was going to happen,” she said offhandedly, pouring herself another cup of tea. “Being bribed with my mother’s necklace was really quite a relief!”

Zuko frowned at her. The he replayed the scene in his head and realised what it would have seemed like. His whole face went red.

“Katara I didn’t… I didn’t think that… I would never… I couldn’t do something like that… that’s… what… no… “ he spluttered. She waved a hand to cut him off. “I’m sorry I scared you like that,” he said after a deep breath.

“Honestly, its alright Zuko. I’ve forgiven you for it already. I’m not stupid, I know how those things work and I was scared… but you didn’t even try anything and I think, at least for me, that’s when I started trusting you. Because I knew that for all you were awful and doing the wrong thing, you didn’t actually want to hurt us. You weren’t like the pirates or Zhao or the others who took pleasure in the pain of other people.”

Zuko let out a humourless laugh. “I tie you to a tree, try to bribe you with your mother’s necklace and you started trusting me? Because I didn’t try to rape you? Ha! That’s a pretty low standard right there!”

Katara shrugged. “There’s a war. I was alone. I hadn’t even mastered bending yet,” she pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter what I’d done, you wouldn’t have told me where they were, wouldn’t you?” he asked quietly, spreading his fingers out on the table, trying to relax them from the fists he had been clenching. “You were ready for anything.”

Katara made eye contact then, intense blue immersing his vision.

“I protect my friends,” she said simply. She reached out and grabbed his hands from the table, holding them in her own. For some reason the contact made Zuko jump and he noticed the same little reaction from her before she frowned and spoke. “Please don’t beat yourself up about this Zuko and go all moody! We can’t be focusing on that right now.”

Zuko opened his mouth to retort that he wasn’t moody, but he saw the sincerity in her eyes and he just nodded. She gave his hands a light squeeze and let go. Zuko missed them.

“Well this has gotten far too serious,” she said after a while of contemplative silence. “Would you rather… eat sea prunes or the hottest fireflake ever?”

Zuko’s lip curled up in a half smile “Hottest fireflake. No question,” he replied quickly. Katara play hit his arm.

“Sea prunes aren’t that bad!” she replied, smiling.

“You know, this is a drinking game?” he said after a few more rounds.

“Is it? How?”

“Well every time you get asked something you have to drink before answering. The idea is you’ll be more truthful or something,” he replied. He remembered some of the kids they’d met at that infernal party doing something similar. His crew occasionally used to play. Zuko never participated. However, playing with one smiling water bender might be quite… fun.

“Huh. We’ll have to play some time,” she said, smiling.

Aang returned late that night, after Zuko and Katara had finally gone to sleep. Sokka was dozing against a rock on the beach when he head the sound of Aang’s glider snap shut. He was on his feet in a moment.

“Aang, how’s it going buddy?” he asked quickly, patting him on the back.

“I’m ok Sokka! I’ve decided that maybe if I tell her how I feel she might see it makes sense for us to end up together! Good night!” called a jovial Aang, already heading to his room on an air scooter.

Sokka’s jaw dropped. Oh boy was that kid in for a nasty surprise. Sokka tried to brush as much sand off as he could and went to sleep too.

#i always want to kiss you katara #fanfiction #zutara #dribsanddrabs #worldcrawler #zutaraverse #zuko #katara #fluff #romance #silly

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 6 years

Note

hey, shannen! regarding your last post about skins (effy/cook): it's really interesting to hear other opinions. Personally, I liked that that specific pair didn't end up together; I always thought their relationship was too dysfunctional and damaging to make a good fit! But I have to admit, I didn't watch all of the fire/ice etc episodes and maybe it's been too long to remember s3/s4 correctly haha;) just love to hear your take on it if you find some time! best wishes :)

Hey there, anon!

I couldn’t have recieved this ask at a better time, because I literally just finished re-watching seasons 3 and 4 of Skins yesterday!

Thanks for sending this ask, I always love to discuss these topics and I’ve never really had the opportunity to discuss Cook and Effy in-depth before. Strap yourself in, because this is pretty lengthy, but hopefully you’ll enjoy reading my take on it. :)

Cook and Effy are a very complicated ship for me, because part of me thinks they’re very toxic and that practically they could never work as a couple. However, the other part of me thinks that they were only portrayed that way on the surface, and that in actuality, there is no basis for thinking that. Cook and Effy absolutely could’ve worked together if the show had given them that opportunity.

Personally, I don’t think it was their relationship that was dysfunctional or damaging, but Cook and Effy themselves. As people, Cook and Effy were both deeply damaged people by the time they met in season 3. Having known Effy from seasons 1 and 2, we know that she suffered from some form of Selective Mutism and that she generally had a lot of emotional difficulties in regards to opening up to and connecting to others. Nothing describes that as well as her line in season 2 when she said, “Sometimes I think I was born backwards, you know, came out my mum the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards. The people I should love I hate, and the people I hate–” In seasons 1 and 2 Effy was around 14-15 years old and she was already demonstrating reckless and self-destructive behaviours - regularly taking drugs, having sex with people she barely knew and generally entering into dangerous situations (e.g. Spencer in 1x08) with no regard for her safety or well-being. Also, at the end of season 1, she suffered the trauma of seeing Tony get hit by the bus, which we know hugely impacted her because she made reference to it in season 4.

As for Cook, although we never physically get to see his past in the same way we do with Effy, we know enough to know that his childhood was far from happy and that it deeply affected him. His mother was a neglectful and unstable alcoholic who was known for having sex with men for money and his father abandoned him when he was a young child (we also know he was a complete asshole from his appearance in the season 3 finale). He had an uncle, who was a bigoted drug dealer who not only supplied him with drugs but encouraged him to partake in it. Everything we know about Cook’s family suggests that he was neglected and it’s very likely that he raised himself for the most part, which explains why emotionally he was closed off, afraid to connect to others and incapable of maintaining healthy relationships (this was particularly clear with his friendships with Freddie and JJ).

So, to summarise, Cook and Effy are two people that both struggled (for different reasons) with emotionally connecting to people and that were terrified of opening themselves up to love because they didn’t want to get hurt. Their relationship for the majority of season 3 (up until 3x08) was a manifestation of that inability to forge connections and/or fear of it. It was a shallow relationship built almost exclusively on sex, and although some may perceive it as unhealthy, it wasn’t. It was a mutual understanding between two people whose reasons for being together were the same - they were using each other.

For Effy, her sexual relationship with Cook was all about avoiding and repressing her feelings for Freddie. We know this because Effy said in 4x05 that she knew from the very first time she saw Freddie he was the closest she would ever get to being close and in 3x07 Cook revealed whilst under the influence of “truth” pills that Effy was having sex with him because she couldn’t stand the fact that she loved Freddie.

With Cook, his reasons for entering into a sexual relationship with Effy were simply because he was attracted to her (which we know from the first moment he saw her) and that was what Cook did and was used to doing - he had casual sex with lots of girls. Cook’s perception of sex was a clear indicator of the complex emotional issues he had. His obsession with having sex was a result of him desperate craving intimacy whilst simultaneously being afraid of it. He had sex to attempt to have that intimacy with another person, but then labelled it as casual and meaningless to invalidate that intimacy and close himself off to it.

When looking at it like this, it might seem ridiculous that I then claim that their relationship wasn’t damaging, because it certainly wasn’t what constitutes a healthy relationship, but by the same token, it wasn’t bad either. From the first time they had sex, there was a mutual understanding between Cook and Effy that their relationship was just no-strings attached sex. There was no manipulation or coercion, it was all consensual and mutual. As their relationship continued, it became complicated because feelings got involved and both of them were hurt by each other, but it was the kind of hurt all relationships experience and nothing particularly awful. In season 3, Effy was hurt when she found out Cook was sleeping with Pandora but she knew that she and Cook weren’t exclusive and that they could both sleep with whoever they wanted. Effy’s reaction to that was much more about Pandora’s betrayal, as her best friend, than Cook’s. And Cook was hurt continuously by Effy’s feelings for Freddie and her relationship with him. Besides that, there was nothing that happened between Cook and Effy that constitutes damaging. In fact, I’d argue that Effy’s relationship with Freddie was much more damaging to her than her relationship with Cook was. What I’m trying to say is that Cook and Effy’s relationship was exactly what a friends-with-benefits or casual-sex-buddy relationship looks like, and therefore not dysfunctional. Even when their relationship developed beyond the casual type due to Cook falling in love with Effy, it was still what any non-reciprocated relationship is. Cook was heartbroken, he attempted to express his love for her on occasions and she made it clear that she didn’t return his feelings in a respectful but firm way (excluding 4x07 when she rudely told him to piss off after he told her he loved her, which always really bugged me because it felt so OOC).

Regarding your comment about Cook and Effy not being a great fit, I’ve actually always felt the opposite. Although they’re very similar (x) and the popular saying is that opposites attract, I think Cook and Effy worked together really well. I don’t think we got to see just how well they could’ve worked, because they were never truly together and most of their relationship was about the triangle with Freddie/Effy. Effy said in 4x07 that Cook was never good for her, but I never understood that because there’s absolutely nothing to support that claim. If you look close enough, you can see how good they were together. The two of them actually spent a lot of time together, although we never see it on-screen, it’s spoken about or hinted at. For example, in 3x08 Cook turned up at Effy’s house and was on a first name basis with her mom and had brought groceries to cook for her, suggesting he spent a lot of time at her house (and not always in her bedroom since he knows her mom) and also that they did do other things other than just have sex. Cook also knew that Effy’s favourite film was E.T. which means they either watched it together or Effy told him. At the end of season 3 they spent a significant amount of time (we can assume weeks, maybe even months) on the run together, only in the company of each other. My point is, they clearly got on well and knew each other too. Whenever Cook and Effy had scenes that weren’t the melodramatic angsty type that Skins is well known for, they were light and natural together (x). Throughout the whole of the season 3 finale (which is a very Ceffy centric episode), they worked. If you take the Freddie/love triangle drama out of the equation, they were affectionate towards each other, they had fun, Effy was supportive and protective over Cook when it came to his dad and Cook was making plans for his future with Effy (to get a job and a boat). Putting aside their individual issues (which I mentioned above), when Cook and Effy were together they were good together. Even if they were just having sex, that was okay, because it was what they both wanted. They knew how to have fun and be in a moment together, and that was what drew them together from the beginning, because they could lose themselves in a moment and forget about everything else. Also, for all their similarities, Cook didn’t have the same depressive tendencies as Effy and was able to keep her on an even keel more so than anybody else (this is particularly obvious in comparison to Freddie, who I felt fed Effy’s depression). That’s why I find it so strange that there’s this perception that Cook was wrong or bad for her, because firstly, Cook never actually did anything to warrant him being “bad” for her. He drank too much, did drugs too much, partied too much but so did Effy, so did Freddie, so did every character on the show (excluding JJ). Cook never did anything to push Effy to a dark place, he never did anything to hurt her or harm her in anyway. Everything they did together was what Effy was doing before she met Cook and what she did with everybody else. In fact, I sincerely believe that Cook was capable of helping Effy and reaching her emotionally more than anybody else. In 4x07 when Effy was in a fragile mental state, she trusted Cook (despite not knowing him because of some hypnosis bullshit her psychopathic therapist did to her) and later in on the episode Cook was the one that brought her back.

As for Cook and Effy ending up together, I believe 100% that they should’ve been together, even if they hadn’t stayed together. If I had been in charge of the show, I would’ve completely scrapped the Freddie/Effy relationship and pursued a Cook/Effy romance from the beginning. From my perspective, it made complete sense that these two damaged people that were unable to emotionally connect would strike up a causal sexual relationship and eventually come to fall in love. Obviously, it wouldn’t have been a straightforward road for them or a particularly happy relationship, but it would’ve been very interesting to watch their ups and downs. Cook loved Effy completely, she was the first and only girl he had ever loved, and that was significant for his character and to have her return that love would’ve led to development for both of them. Skins as a show is all about young love and it’s realistic in its portrayal of that. All of the Skins relationships have their problems and none of them last (because the reality is a lot of young relationships don’t last as their lives go in different directions), so I couldn’t see Cook and Effy’s relationship lasting and them staying together, even if they had been together in seasons 3 and 4. Season 7, however, is a completely different story.

I’m a huge Skins fan and have been since I was a young teenager, but I strongly dislike season 7 and the choices that were made. In my opinion, to bring Effy and Cook back for the final season and not have them interact was criminal. Regardless of Effy’s romantic relationship with Freddie, Effy and Cook were strongly connected and fans would have loved to have seen them reunite. Since you didn’t watch season 7, you won’t be aware of how Cook and Effy developed, so I’ll briefly summarise. In season 7, Cook and Effy had both hugely mellowed in comparison to how they were in seasons 3 and 4, whilst keeping their core personalities. In season 7, Cook and Effy as a couple would’ve just worked. It was a chance to explore their unfulfilled potential and finally make the most of Kaya and Jack’s chemistry whilst remaining respectful to the Freddie/Effy relationship. If I could’ve written season 7 I would have had Cook be on the run (like he was in Rise) and Effy pursuing him because she’s seeking answers about Freddie’s disappearance. I would’ve had the two reunite and have Cook fall to pieces, because it’s Effy - the only girl he’s ever loved - and she brings to the surface everything he’s been keeping bottled up. But I would have him suppress those emotions and react angrily to her having found him, telling her she was stupid for looking for him and that she should’ve let it go. I’d have Effy respond angrily telling him that she couldn’t let it go and that since he and Freddie have gone everything’s gone to shit. Eventually, Cook would tell her the truth about what happened with Freddie and the therapist, and then in their grief-stricken and heightened emotional state they sleep together. Afterwards, Effy is conflicted because on the one hand she’s still grieving for Freddie but on the other, her feelings for Cook are resurfacing and the fact that Cook loves Freddie and is grieving him too means that they’re connected in a unique way. I would then have Cook get angry at Effy (again, because let’s face it, this is Cook lol), tell her to leave and go back to her life and forget about him like she should’ve done the first time, that he deserves to be punished and on the run for the rest of his life for what he did. Then Effy defends his actions saying Freddie’s death was her fault, she was the one that brought the doctor into their life and when Cook killed him he was only defending himself. I would’ve had Effy choose to stay with Cook and live with him on the run because she feels she has nothing at home to go back for. At that point, they wouldn’t be together, but the implication would clearly be there. It wouldn’t be a happy ending and it would be open ended, but I think it would’ve worked perfectly. Not only would it have provided the fans (and Cook and Effy) with closure for Freddie’s death, but would’ve explored that potential of Cook and Effy and ended on a semi-positive note.

One final thing I wanted to talk about, is that despite the fact that I think Cook and Effy were a good fit and definitely weren’t dysfunctional, shipping Cook and Effy isn’t about happy endings or them being ‘good’ for each other or even ending up together. The appeal of the ship (for me, at least) is the messiness and realness of it. When two people have such complex and unresolved issues as Cook and Effy, it’s impossible to be in a healthy, happy, functioning relationship, because they’re not those things themselves. However, Cook and Effy show what love can be when it’s not neat or simple or easily defined. They also show that you can love another person with your whole heart despite feeling broken inside. Plus, Cook and Effy had such a palpable chemistry, history and connection that it’s difficult for me not to ship them and root for them to be together, even if only temporarily.

#answered #my meta #skins meta

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iblamebighit · 8 years

Text

interrupted (m) part V

pairing: reader x ???

genre: idek anymore angst? smut? (i promise there will be more smut in the upcoming chapters)

summary: part 5 of this trash i call a series

word count: 3.9k (specifics: 3,942)

warnings/triggers: fighting, swearing, sexual stuff...

“I love you.”

Jimin didn’t know what to feel. Did she mean it? Or am I just a second choice…

The surrounding silence was nauseating, he felt her shift knowing he had to say something but what? He knew one thing for certain and couldn’t lie about it...

“I love you too y/n.” he couldn’t deny that.

A million thoughts raced through his head as he lay beside you patting the crown of your head gently, staring up at the dark ceiling. He wanted to believe you... but just couldn’t yet. He was always second place to Jungkook. If Jungkook didn’t fuck up, would you still have had said it to him.

He knew it wasn’t the best time to ask if you had meant it, but with his heart ringing in his ears and a tiny voice gnawing at the corners of his mind, he had to ask...

Mustering up enough courage, he took a deep breathe about to tell you- but bit his tongue when you laid a chaste kiss on his chest. He couldn’t ask now…

Right now, he just wanted to revel in this moment with you; where he was surrounded by your scent, feeling your breath fan against his skin, letting his fingers tangle through the strands of your hair and laying in each other’s warmth as you both settled down to go to sleep.

“Goodnight y/n.” He sighed, internally wishing that morning would never come, and drawing you closer.

“Goodnight Jimin.” you yawned, nestling closer to him and shutting your eyes to sleep.

The early shades of dawn filtered through the curtains and the incessant buzz of your phone awoke you. If it weren’t for Jimin’s sleepy face being the first thing that you saw through heavy lids, you would’ve of been in the absolute worst mood, but seeing him soundlessly asleep with the amber tint, of the early rising sun, kissing his skin, made you lips curl into a small smile as you unravelled yourself from Jimin’s limp grip and grabbing your phone from your bomber.

From Hana:

Please tell me you’re not too hungover to work today…

From Hana:

I need you :(( boss gave me the whole 11 hours… BY MYSELF >:((

To Hana:

no no i’m completely sober… shoot me.

To Hana:

i’ll come in today, i have a lot to tell you…

From Hana:

SPILL. and THANK YOUUU <3

Jimin stirred on the bed, you looked up to see him upright with furrowed brows and barely opened lids.

“Morning.” you smiled.

“It’s cold… what time is it?Why are you up?” he rasped, scratching the back of his neck.

“7:14am”

“It’s so early.” he groaned, “do you have work?”

“Mhmm” You hummed in reply, as you walked up to the bed, leaning over to kiss Jimin’s puffy cheek.

“y/n…” he whispered scratchily.

“Yeah?”

He bit his lip, as you perched onto the edge of the soft mattress. His hesitation made your stomach stir slightly.

“We need to talk about… this.”

“What do you mean?” you blinked, that feeling in your stomach become more prominent.

“I don’t want to say this, especially not right now… But I can’t ignore it and I can’t let it go on.”

“What is goin-”

“Do you really love me?” He blurted. Instantly looking guilty.

Your stomach dropped. You felt the colour drain from your face. What?

“I want to believe you y/n. I really do. But i- i- just don’t know. Something in my head is telling me, that this happened by luck or chance or- or something. That if Jungkook didn’t…you know... you wouldn’t be feeling this way.” You bit the inside of your cheek, at his words. “Please say something so i don’t feel awful.”

“I-um...” You swallowed thickly. Were you really sure how you felt? Was what Jimin said true? “I should get ready for work… Get some sleep okay” You smiled, but Jimin noticed how it didn’t reach your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” he muttered, although it felt like a huge weight lift of his shoulders, a vacant look took over his eyes as he watched you disappear behind the locked bathroom door. He groaned as he sank back into bed. He felt so bad. what if he had just fucked up everything with you... But he just couldn’t take how it felt so… forced; Of course he wanted this with you, he always had… but not when it was like this.

Hearing the bell of the coffee shop door, you truly felt as if you could finally breathe. It was like you held your breath as you got ready and crept out the house, not making any possible noise that could wake Jimin up.

“Happy birthday.” Hana grinned as she handed you a gift bag. You laughed opening the glittery bag and pulling out what was inside.

“More alcohol. Love it.” you joked as you put your stuff away in the cloakroom.

6 slow hours passed, with barely anyone entering the shop. Which gave you plenty of time to catch up with Hana, in between serving the odd customer; and of course that meant telling her everything.

“Woah… So… Jungkook and Jimin.” She slowly summarised, more to make sense in her head than to clarify.

“Yep.” you sighed.

“You hoe.” She joked, lifting up the mood in the empty coffee shop.

“Shut the fuck up Hana.” You replied as you both turned into raging fits of laughter.

“Is that Minah as in Kwon Minah?”

“Um, yeah, why?” You asked, eyebrows arched.

“I think I’m going to start working with her tonight…”

“What?”

“Yeah, she works at a bar, not at all far from here. I just got a part-time there, and i’m starting tonight.”

You slowly nodded, internally wondering how the world was so small that something like that would happen…

“Y/n… I get Minah’s pretty and everything, but I don’t understand why Jungkook would do that to you… It just… doesn’t... add up.”

“Minah’s a solid 10 and i’m a 2 at best.” You protested, “But i get what you mean, I don’t understand how he could just-”

“Well i think you’re about to find out…” She whispered, eyes bulging. Following where she subtly pointed at. You turned, your eyes flinching as they caught his. You swallowed harshly, your toes curling into your shoes. You didn’t look up at all, your eyes stood ground,trained onto the cash register.

“Welcome to the mocha lab, can i take your order.” You curtly said, fighting temptation to look him, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, but it was like you physically couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“y/n.”

that voice. it just made you want to burst out in tears, as if the uneasy feeling you had in your stomach didn’t want to make to throw up and faint already.

“Order something or get out.” you spat, out of the corner of your eye you even saw Hana backing away from the counter and into the cloakroom.

“You have every right to hate me but I just need to tal-”

“Jungkook.” You warned. “I really fucking can’t right now.” You tried so hard to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m sorry y/n-” You bit your lip so hard to keep yourself together that you could faintly start to taste blood. “-but please. talk to me.” His voice was so… so… broken. “please y/n i'm begging you. please... i miss you.”

Although it was so painful to hear him beg like that, and you still needed answers. You knew you couldn’t. It physically hurt to be near him. Your mind was screaming for an explanation and wanted to just jump in his arms and forgive him... but the heart remembers what the brain forgets… and it raced inside your ribcage, like how it felt when you saw the mess of clothes on the floor, storming in on him and Minah…

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” You could barely finish the sentence as your voice started to break. After a couple seconds of silence in his hesitation you heard his slow heavy footsteps leave the place.

You immediately sank behind the corner bawling. Hana sprinted over, taking your shivering figure in her arms.

“sshh, its okay, shhh.” she whispered as you took deep breaths. “that was so brave. I’m so proud of you.”

“thank you” you whimpered as you steadily composed yourself. “I can’t even look at him.” you laughed, but inside your heart was straining, as his broken voice rang throughout your mind. “I don’t know if I could ever speak to him again...”

“As much as i hate to say it… and i totally get you, but you need to talk to him. You need answers y/n… it’s the only way you can really know how you truly feel for either of them. Because it’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on Jimin”

she was right.

You bit your quivering lip, thinking about Jimin. You couldn’t deny that there was attraction there. And last night. Last night. He put you first in front of everything, he was hurt too but made sure you were the one okay. With him, it’s genuine. It’s decided. It’s real. It’s there. He wouldn’t change his mind or even think to ever betray you like Jungkook. With Jimin before and after the whole Jungkook mess, you felt loved, platonically and romantically. he was your safe haven.

“y/n?” Hana said, snapping back into reality. By then you stopped crying. She helped you stand back up. “Are you okay?” she asked, to which you nodded in reply. “I’ll lock up, go home my love, get some rest.” She insisted and you thanked her as you both headed to the cloakroom to get your things.

“Good luck with the new barmaid job.” you called out from the door before you left. She gave you small smile as you shut the door.

The sun had set ages ago because of winter, the street were dully lit with street lamps. You pulled your jacket tighter, sighing watching your breath condense and float idly upward. You began the walk home, pulling out your earphones and listening to music. A few steps in, you felt as if someone was following you, you pulled an earphone out and turned to look behind. Your eyes scanned the seemingly deserted street. You felt uneasy, so you abandoned the music as you cautiously continued home.

This time you heard the footsteps, growing faster and faster, and before you could break out into a run you felt a hand grab your wrist. On instinct you turned, and kicked the figure in the genitals. You watched as a familiar figure sink onto the floor bracing themselves in their affected area.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE JUNGKOOK!” you screamed, heart racing, annoyed at the fact he had just given you one of the biggest heart attacks of your life.

“Okay... I deserved that…” he rasped and he stood up again.

you huffed, but at least this time you could actually look at him without wanting to cry.

“Please can we just talk again.” He whined. “I get you hate me. I get you never want to see me again. But please. I don’t want to never see or talk to you again on how things ended.”

You felt his stare on you as you remained silent, with your arms folded. You did deserve an explanation.

“You have 10 minutes.” You murmured.

A smile lit up Jungkook’s face. It felt so weird, like you hadn’t seen the Jungkook you fell so hard for until now… like he was someone completely different when he slept with Minah. Maybe it was your stubborn delusional heart that wanted to believe that he didn’t because you believed he wouldn’t. It made you just want to delve into his arms and forget that everything happened. But you couldn’t. Because it did.

He grabbed your hand but you flinched away.

“This doesn’t mean we’re okay.” You warned.

His face dropped but still, he gave a small smile, “Just follow me then.”

Although you looked down to the pavement, you felt his stare on you. He led you down some familiar streets and you couldn’t help but wonder where he was taking you, and why.

“You do realise you have 7 minutes left right?” You tutted, finally rolling your eyes and keeping eye contact with him.

“We’re here.” He sighed. And when you looked round, you were stunned at where he led you. How did you not notice? This was the park you, Jungkook and Jimin used to always play at when you were children. You subconsciously smiled and walked further in, as if gravity was pulling you there. You were drawn to the swings, and you reminiscently ran your fingers down the metal chain. “How are we for time?” Jungkook grinned, interrupting your flashbacks.

You cleared your throat, embarrassed that you got lost in your thoughts when you should’ve been mad.

“Why are we here. This doesn’t change anything.” You spat keeping up the defensive facade, eyebrows knit together.

“It’s obvious you remember this place.”

“Well done for stating the obvious. 5 minutes left Kook.” You scoffed.

“Kook.” He laughed and you internally kicked yourself for letting that slip. “Okay, we’re getting somewhere.”

You groaned in vexation, like a little kid throwing a tantrum. He sat down on one of the swings and signalled that you do the same. You hesitantly took the other one, but he smiled in victory when you did.

“4 minutes.” You warned. His smile dropping once again.

“I brought you here, because I need you to remember it.” You furrowed your brows, at his words. It wasn’t until you followed his gaze to the castle play structure, that you shivered. You remember it now.

It was your 6th birthday and you were here with Jimin and Jungkook, it was oddly sunny for a winter day and so the park was crowded with small children like yourselves.

Jimin was racing ahead, climbing up the the ropes to get to the top tower where Jungkook already was, and because you didn’t want to be left alone you followed them up, at a much slower pace, because of your scrawny figure and lack of upper body strength. You had always feared heights but you feared being alone more; and so you struggled and slipped your way to the top where they were.

It was when you got up, you had realised how high you were and panic began to set in. You burst out into tears and Jimin and Jungkook didn’t know what to do.

“Go get y/n’s mum.” Jungkook nodded to Jimin, who set off instantly. He then turned to you, who was quivering on the platform. He crouched down. “It’s okay.” He smiled but you just wouldn’t stop screaming and crying. He himself panicked, it was your birthday and he didn’t know what to do and did something impulsively and without thought. He reached forward, grabbed your face and kissed you. You were in a state of complete and utter shock, you forgot about crying. You just stood bug-eyed with Jungkook smushing his face against yours. When Jungkook let go, a huge grin took over his small face. “It worked!” he cheered, while you just remained still, frozen in place as you realised: you just had just both had your first kisses with each other.

You remembered how after, it was like you couldn’t breathe, your heart was going more than 200 miles per hour. You felt a mad hot blush spread throughout your wind-pinched cheeks.

“You remember.” He muttered spotting the tinge of red upon the tops of your ears and cheeks.

“J-Jungkook-I-”

“Look I know nothing I say will ever make up for what I did to you last night y/n. I don’t know why I did it and god I feel so stupid... I know that’s pathetic of me to say, but she was my first ever love, so she had this sort of hold on me and when she came to the house in tears and a blubbering mess and just kissed me... It felt like that moment on the top of the tower and I just didn’t know what to do and I acted on impulse, I forgot about everything like an idiot and ugh... And this-this is going to sound fucked up and unbelievable-but I swear, all I thought about was you.”

“You don’t expect me to just fall for that are you.” You scoffed.

“Not in the slightest. And I wouldn’t blame you if you just left right now either. But I just wanted you to know it was a mistake and I’m so sorry and if i could tell my 6 year old self, I would’ve made you mine right there and then.” Looking into his empty eyes, it broke your heart. “I know it doesn’t make sense, and i fucked up beyond repair but... I love you y/n and I still want you.” Tears started streaming down his face and you felt so guilty that tears started to well in your eyes. In that moment, Jungkook grabbed your wrist, you excelled forward and he pressed his lips against yours; and just as you were about to give into the temptation of melting into the kiss, he pulled away. “I’m not going to keep you any longer.” He muttered, but held you a little longer. “Goodnight my love.” He whispered before he walked away. You bit the inside of your lip as you watched his back disappear into the night.

You groaned as you opened the front door to the apartment, tossing your bag and Hana’s gifted wine on the couch. The walk home was miserable. You were more confused with how you felt for either of them.

“Jimin?” You called out, but was met with silence. You got your phone out and realised you had 5 missed calls and 14 texts from him. At least he didn’t just leave… Still you were overwhelmed with incoming feelings, you flopped onto your bed, you felt as if you could just bawl for hours just to release everything. You wanted to scream at how confusing and fucked up things were. You shot a text at Jimin saying you were home and if he could come back after Jaebum’s ‘guy’s night’, you took of your coat and threw it onto the floor, but it landed with a slight thud that made you jump slightly. The only thing in your jacket was your phone. Curiousity flooded your sense so you jumped up and fished something out of your pocket.

It was a small gift-bag labelled:

It was meant for yesterday - kook

Hana POV.

Hana had worried about you getting home, on her walk to the bar. She had just gotten out of one uniform and wasn’t at all excited to jump into a new one. The laid back buzz of the bar lifted her spirits slightly, as she entered, the overall decoration and atmosphere was surprisingly relaxed than what you would expect from a normal one. is this like high class level for a bar?

“Hana Kim?”

She nodded as she turned to the voice, finding Minah leaning over the bar counter.

“You’re late.”

She was taken back by Minah’s bratty attitude. It’s literally 7:17. i was 2 minutes late. For matter of first impressions and the sake of actually keeping the job, she answered with,

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, don’t be late again.” Minah snapped. I’m going to kill her… Hana thought as she put up a tight lipped smile and nodded.

“Here’s your uniform, change in the staff toilets for today, but we expect you to show up in that. okay?”

And again… because her mother had taught her ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’... she just smiled and nodded.

The uniform wasn’t anything special, but it was formal: a white collared shirt, dress pants, black suspenders and a gold name badge. She fixed her hair and re-touched on her makeup before hanging her stuff up in the cloakroom and finally finding her place behind the bar counter.

It wasn’t long till Minah came back from serving a table, coming back to train her on how to make different cocktails, where the different glasses were kept, which tables were where and more on the job.

“Got it all.” Minah smiled, more out of common courtesy, but it was easily readable in her eyes that she did not like Hana one bit.

“Yeah, thank you.” there came the tight lipped smile again.

“Any questions, just come find me.” Minah added before slipping away to a table. As if… Hana rolled her eyes as she walked back to her place at the bar counter.

“Can I get a- Oh my god, Hana.”

She looked up to find Jimin with a half smile and half surprised look on his face.

“Hey.” She smiled back.

“You work here now? What happened to The Mocha Lab barista job with y/n?”

“That’s for the daytime, i work here at-”

“Jimin hi!” Minah sang, shoving herself in front of you. Where the fuck did she come from? she was all the way at the other side of the room??. Hana internally laughed at the scene. “What can I get you~” Minah carried on. This is disgusting, Hana thought, backing up, it was clear Minah didn’t want her there.

“Um Hana’s already getting me a whiskey on the rocks thanks.” Jimin replied, making Hana stop with Minah shooting daggers at her.

“Hana… darling.” darling? “Could you get some more Whiskey glasses from the back?” Although it may have sounded nice, her stare made it seem like an order. Hana glanced down and saw a whole row of Whiskey glasses by Minah’s knees. But to avoid anything happening, she just did as she was told.

Hana came back with a tray of Whiskey glasses and placed them on the counter by Minah.

“Oh my bad, I forgot we had a whole row of them…” Minah faked laughed, making Hana sick… “Just stack them with the rest.”

“Where’s Jimin?” Hana asked, hiding her sarcasm, sounding like she actually want to start a conversation, whilst she organised the decorative glasses.

“Back there with his friends.” Minah replied ogling at the table in the far right corner. “we’re like a thing.”

Hana wanted to burst out laughing… Jimin was with you (well ish) only one boy makes that mistake and that just so happened to be Jungkook already. Jimin wouldn’t ever.

“Really…” Hana gasped, secretly enjoying the fact Minah was oblivious to the fact Hana knew everything. Hana stood up again from crouching, readying her phone in her pocket to sneak off and tell you everything. “I need the loo, excuse me.” and when Minah nodded, she was off.

Hana rushed into the bathroom ringing you. Pick up, pick up, pick up, this is so funny…

“I’m sorry but the person you’re calling-”

Hana sulked as she tried again, but with no answer, she contemplated texting you but wanted to wait to tell you in person to see your reaction.

She walked back to the bar, surprised to find Minah not there.

Where’d she go?

And that’s when Hana heard her shrill giggle. She looked to where it came from and fell gob-smacked at the sight.

Hana didn’t want to believe it, but seeing the way Jimin’s arms wrapped around Minah’s figure as they kissed, Hana raised her phone…

To y/n:

image_032

a/n: WHAT DID I JUST DO. I HATE MYSELF...

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!

RE-BLOG AND LIKE FOR PART 6

THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE, PATIENCE AND SUPPORT <3

and of course: stay horny, stay shook, and stay safe ;)

eliza out

-e

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