#he is also there lol... to witness multiple times

[guardian-angle22]

[thidwickdoodles]

Speak no evil

Hear no evil

See no evil

And don’t try to translate Russian codes

[dreamsofanenigma]

I feel like I should do another 'gamer room' but have zero energy/time to invest into it. This month has been busy busy for me.

[wonlovie]

— ALWAYS.

After being broken up with, the cherry on top was receiving an invitation to your ex-boyfriend's wedding, leaving you breaking at the seams. Luckily for you, your childhood best friend is there to keep you together.

— starring. childhood bestfriend!jake x fem!reader ft. the slightest appearance of niki, mentions of ex!heeseung and le sserafim's chaewon (she was the first one i thought of LOL)

— tags. friends-to-lovers, slowburn, minor angst, jake is highkey a thigh guy, road trip!!, the oh-no-there's-only-one-bed trope several times over, smut [fem. masturbation while in the same bed, vaginal fingering, oral (f. receiving), handjob, very soft-dom!jake, first time, praising, unprotected sex, reader cries, use of petnames (princess, pretty girl, baby; he also calls you a whore/slut like,, twice) kind of but not really fwb situation [MINORS DNI]]

— word count. 14.3k

— notes. this is the first fic i've posted here!! i also started writing this like,, the day i got covid so if some sentences make zero sense it's because i was loopy af lmAOO on another note jake??? sim jake??? writing this wasnt good for my heart bc he was driving me insane the whOLE TIME

SIXTEEN DAYS.

When you got the invitation in the mail, a single piece of cardstock carefully decorated with ornate blue lace and beautifully handwritten script, you had half the mind to ignore it. Throw it in the trash, maybe. If the sender asked, you could feign innocence. It got lost in the mail, and perhaps I never received it at all.

Unfortunately for you, your conscience kicked you swiftly in the ass before you could even step on your trash bin pedal. 

Begrudgingly, you really had no choice but to go. After all, it was your cousin’s wedding—a day you had both raved about since you were young children. You could still recall the silly Pinterest boards you put together, regrettably filled with tacky and outdated decor. Your cousin, Chaewon, even called you before the invitation was sent to your box, her excited voice crawling out of your phone speaker and taunting you with sharp licks against your ear.

You should be happy. Really, you should. Aside from Lemon, your newly adopted Jindo puppy, Chaewon was your favourite. Despite moving across the country for university, you were there for her as she was for you. Not a single day went by without an hour-long phone call between the two of you, filled to the brim with conversation or spent in peaceful silence.

The issue wasn’t Chaewon. No, it was far worse than that. The issue was her husband-to-be, a man you despised with every cell of your being.

Lee Heeseung. In other words, your ex. 

It was jarring for you to see the very man who seemed to date you out of pity, never truly initiating intimacy or even trying to pretend to be interested in the things you’d tell him, be so sweet to Chaewon. You had, unfortunately, witnessed their love firsthand on multiple occasions. The longing glances, the whispered sweet nothings, the subtle caresses when they thought no one was looking. 

You hated how bitter you felt about it. His last words to you felt like they were tattooed onto your eyelids.

“I’m sorry, but… I don’t think we should date anymore. I think I’ve found someone else.”

Of course, you were heartbroken. Heeseung was your first boyfriend and your first love. You had tried so damn hard to be the receiver of his affections, but your efforts always fell short. The next week, Chaewon approached you with tears brimming her eyes, begging for forgiveness; you knew that whatever you had with Heeseung was officially history. 

Chaewon, the angel, denied his advances until you pushed her to say yes, as you knew she wanted to. 

And now, your decision had come full circle, the ugly truth rearing its head at you. Your feelings for Heeseung were long gone, but with the breakup came a hundred insecurities you didn’t know you had, hence the big move. Maybe with space, you could heal.

“Stupid,” you whispered as your eyes scanned the invitation for the nth time in the past ten minutes. You rubbed harshly at your eyes, forcing the tears away. With a shaking finger, you traced the wedding date, briefly glancing up at the dog calendar that hung on the wall next to your fridge. 

Gingerly dropping the invitation onto the kitchen counter, you quietly counted the days left. The wedding was just over two weeks away, a beautiful August wedding. You don’t know how long you stood there, goosebumps prickling on your thighs as the morning air brushed against them. Your oversized tee did little to combat the cold.

A quiet knocking at the door made you jump. Swearing under your breath, you swiped at your cheeks to rid any evidence of tears. You shuffled to the front door and peeked through the peephole. A man stood there, hands in his jeans pockets, as he waited for you to answer. However, his head was down, which blocked his face from view.

When you didn’t answer right away, he knocked again just as gently as he had before. This time, though, he called out your name. 

Startled, you paused with your hands pressed against the door, eyes still pressed against the peephole. You knew that voice, instantly recognizing the accent that spilled into his words. Pulling the door open, your suspicions were correct when you were met with your childhood best friend, Jake.

A wide grin pulled at the corners of your lips as you looked the man up and down. “Holy shit,” you started, laughter in your voice. “What are you doing here?” Stepping back to let him in, you eyed his wide shoulders as he bent over to untie his shoes. “You never said you were coming to visit.”

Jake lazily smiled up at you as he tugged off the last shoe. His eyes drifted down for a second, catching sight of your bare legs. Not a moment later, he averted them. “Damn, hello to you too, sweets.” When he stood to his full height, he leaned into a comfortable slouch, shoving his hands into the pockets of his well-worn jeans. “Chaewon didn’t tell you?” He tilted his head at you in question.

Shaking your head no, you headed to the kitchen where you left your phone. Finding your chatroom with Chaewon, you scanned the contents quickly. “Look—”

You turned to show Jake your previous texts, but as you swivelled on your heel, you hadn’t expected him to be so close. You jumped slightly, the small of your back pressing into the cool countertop as Jake hovered over you, seemingly inches away. You could practically count his every lash from your angle, not missing how his eyes scanned your face.

Apparently, he didn’t expect to be so close either, as the tips of his ears reddened. “My bad,” as he moved to give you space. He pushed back his hair—when had he dyed it blonde?— to see your screen better. Reading quickly, he snorted at Chaewon’s lack of warning for his arrival, her last message simply being: ;).

“I thought you knew I’d be coming, so I didn’t bother sending a text,” he explained. “Chae wants me to be your escort to the wedding.”

“My what?”

Jake grinned at you, flashing his pearly whites. “Y’know, your stead. Your chauffeur. Your knight in shining armour, if you will.”

“Those aren’t the same in the slightest, Jake.”

“You get what I mean, sweets.” 

You hummed, resting your palms atop the counter by your sides. “Why so early, though? The wedding isn’t for a couple of weeks.” He opened his mouth to say something, but a sharp yip from your bedroom interrupted him. You practically watched as elation flooded his senses when he spun on the spot, searching for the sound source.

Pushing yourself off the counter, you lightly bumped his shoulder with your own as you manoeuvred around him. “Looks like someone’s awake,” you sang as you headed down the hall. You could hear Jake’s heavier, sock-clad footsteps following you into your bedroom as you called out for Lemon.

The little pup bounded toward you, jumping from your bed with a tail that wagged so fast you were concerned she’d sprain it. With her tongue out, she hopped on her hind legs, unsure of whether she should greet you or Jake first. “Lemon, this is Jake,” you introduced as you picked her up. Gently moving her paw in a waving motion, you smiled at him. “Jake, this is the love of my life, Lemon.”

He sent you a teasing smile, “I thought that was my title.” You flushed at the unexpected remark. Before you could respond, he turned to Lemon with a soft expression. “Hi, Lemon. Hope you’re taking good care of sweets for me.” Cooing at the pup, he booped her nose.

Without a word, you motioned for him to follow you back to the living room, situating yourself on the small leather couch worn from years of hand-me-down use. Lemon hopped off your lap, her tail wagging as she beckoned Jake to sit down. He was quick to join you, sitting close enough for your knees to touch when Jake shifted his body to face you. You scanned him up and down.

He’d changed a bit, clearly, since the last you saw him. He wasn’t nearly as scrawny as before, his broad frame apparent from under his unzipped jacket. He had lost the baby fat in his cheeks, leaving behind a sharp jawline. The biggest change to note was his hair. Long gone were the black tresses, and in their place were soft blond locks.

In other words, he was hot.

“When did this happen?” you asked as he shrugged his jacket off, reaching up to twist a strand with your finger. “It looks good on you.”

Jake sent you a teasing look, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. “You would’ve known I went blond like a month and a half ago if you actually read your messages,” he chided, clicking his tongue. His eyes stayed on you, flitting across your face.

“Whatever,” you hushed, “I’ve just been busy with school.” It's a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that. No one needed to know that you’ve spent the last few months acting like a heartbroken teen when you were a grown adult. Despite Jake having seen the worst parts of you in high school, you still wanted him to hold some esteem for you.

For a second, it was quiet aside from Lemon’s quiet sniffing, her nose working quickly on Jake’s discarded coat. Jake held eye contact with you, a silent question reflected in his eyes. 

“It’s still weird to me.”

Raising a brow, you rested your elbow on the back of the couch, resting your head against your palm. “What is?”

He stayed silent for a minute before leaning back against the couch, turning his head slightly to face you. “I can’t just walk down the block to annoy you now. Now, you’re four hours away unless I want to spend a few hundred on a plane ticket.” He stuck out his tongue, “‘Dunno why you didn’t stay.” His voice was light, teasing, but you could hear a slight edge to his words.

You huffed, “You know exactly why I left.”

For a moment, neither of you said anything. When Heeseung broke up with you, Jake was the first one you told. Despite being an incoherent, blubbering mess over the phone, he came the instant he heard the first sob rack your body. That night, he held you without a word until your tears ran dry.

“You still hung up about it?”

Pausing, you shook your head. “No,” you bit your lip, not catching the way his eyes darted down to watch, “not anymore, anyway. I don’t feel anything for Heeseung if that’s what you’re asking.” You cracked a sardonic smile at him, punching his shoulder and chuckling when Lemon followed your movement. “Not that pathetic yet, Jake.”

He fully turned his body to you, the leather couch squeaking under his shifting weight. His golden hair fell into his eyes as he bore into yours. “I was there, remember?” His voice was gentle as if he was worried he’d scare you off. “I know it hurt more than you’re letting on. It wasn’t that long ago.”

You silently cursed him for still being able to read you so well, even after so long apart. Absentmindedly, you tugged on the hem of your shirt, playing with the edge that was starting to fray after years of use. Jake leaned forward, placing a warm hand on your bare thigh. “I’ll be there the whole time. If you want me to, I’ll stay right beside you the whole night.”

Your eyes darted to where his large hand rested on your skin, swallowing harshly. “Yeah,” you whispered, looking back up at him through your lashes. “That’d be… really nice, Jake.” You shakily exhaled; his proximity and his touch made your every nerve go haywire. Since when did Jake, your best friend since you were in diapers, have this effect on you? Looking up at the mop of messy blond on his head, you blamed the change in colour.

Jake didn’t say anything for a while but never moved his hand. The two of you sat there, staring into each other's eyes. Lemon had long ago gotten comfy in the small space between you, round eyes closed in rest. “I’ll always be there for you, you know that, right?” He said finally, voice barely above a whisper.

You could only nod, your every thought directed to the hand on your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside of your leg.

You offered Jake your shower while you went to get his luggage from his car. At first, he refused, telling you that he could get the luggage himself and take a shower afterward, but you had practically shoved him into the bathroom, claiming he smelt bad from the drive. 

Truthfully, he smelt good as ever, having always possessed an addicting scent to you.

Besides, this way, you could clear your head with some fresh air as you left and headed to your apartment parking lot. Easily spotting his car, much newer than any of the models your neighbours had, you jogged over to it. Once inside, you noted how clean the car was, coming as somewhat of a surprise to you. A carwash receipt peaked out from the middle console.

Lugging his suitcase out from the backseat, you were quick to make your way back, lest Jake be left without clothes for too long. Shutting your front door behind you, you nearly let out a scream when, on cue, Jake emerged from a cloud of steam, donning only your fluffy blue towel. He hadn’t noticed you yet, using another towel to shake out the excess water from his hair.

Unknowingly, your eyes followed a bead of water as it trailed down his toned body, disappearing under the towel that threatened to unravel itself, sending your mind into a frenzy. Turning around before he could realize that you were ogling at him like some pervert, you cleared your throat. “Got your suitcase,” you forced out. “You can change in my room if you want.”

“Ah, thanks, sweets.” You listened for his footsteps, tensing as they came closer. “Why so shy?” He inquired with a chuckle at the tip of his tongue. “‘S not like you’ve never seen me naked before.”

“Jake, we were five.”

“Still,” he laughed. You were startled when he patted your shoulder, gently turning you to face him more. You swallowed harshly at the sight of his naked chest up close. “Joking. Thanks for grabbing my stuff.” Without another word, he turned around and disappeared behind your bedroom door.

Letting out a breath, you pressed your forehead against the cool surface of your front door, holding a hand over your heart. Lemon’s tiny paws brought her over to you, the click clicks of her nails against the hardwood taking your attention away from your thoughts. She looked up at you, her head tilted as though she was questioning you. “I must be going crazy, huh?” You knelt down to let her jump on you, her front paws pressing into your leg. 

“Layla’d love her,” Jake’s voice interrupted. You looked up to see him dressed in comfy attire, a dim disappointment settling in your stomach. “You hungry? I can order something for us.”

Rolling your eyes, you stood up. “You’re my guest, Jake. I can order.” You pulled out your phone and open a delivery app. Before you could get too far, the phone was taken from your grasp, left in Jake’s palm as he stared at you in challenge.

With a shake of his head, he denied you. “I may be your guest, but you’re also housing me for two weeks. Plus, I haven’t seen you in forever.” He hunched over to meet your eyes, “My treat. You can pay next time, promise.”

By the time the food arrived, you and Jake had settled in on the couch, a random movie playing on the TV. Quiet chatter filled the space. The movie had already been forgotten, acting as mere background noise to your conversation. You dug into your food without missing a beat, covering your mouth to retort whenever Jake would make a jab at you. 

“You never got to answer my question,” you prompted, putting down your chopsticks and resting the take-out container on the coffee table. “Why’d you come so early? Why not closer to the wedding?”

You watched Jake pause, his expression unreadable. “Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to see you?” he asked, voice low as he turned to look at you. His blond hair had been pushed up and back so many times strands framed his face, allowing you to see all of it. “Because I do,” he continued, shrugging as if he weren’t making your heart race, “I want to see you. All the time.”

Unsure of how to respond, you sputtered for a moment before turning away, your cheeks warm. “I’ve wanted to see you too,” you mumbled, “so thanks. For coming.”

“For you? Always.”

Rolling your eyes, you bumped Jake with your shoulder. “When did you get so cheesy?”

Jake pulled his lower lip under his teeth for a second, biting at the plump flesh as he mulled over an answer. “Just missed you, is all.”

Nodding, you turned your head to watch the rest of the movie. It was confusing since neither of you watched the first half. Beside you, Jake turned to do the same. If either of you noticed how the space between you had become nonexistent, thighs and shoulders pressed together, no one said a word. You couldn’t complain, enjoying how Jake’s warmth seeped through his clothes and into your skin.

Without realizing it, the both of you fell asleep. The TV had gone dark after hours of inactivity, the moon lighting up the room with a dark hue. Jake awoke first, grumbling when his neck had a familiar ache in it. But when he went to roll his shoulder, something was in the way. Or rather, someone. He turned, pursing his lips to stay quiet as he realized you were leaning on him.

Your legs were draped over his own, something you must’ve done in your sleep. Or maybe it was him searching for a source of warmth in the coolness of the night. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, your head fitting directly in the crook of his neck. He felt his skin burn as he swore quietly. Pulling out his phone, he glanced at the time.

3:02 a.m.

As slowly as he could, he hooked one arm under your knees and the other around your back. Standing, he hoped his racing heart wouldn’t wake you. Jake maneuvered the dark apartment as best he could without accidentally hitting your head against the walls of your hallway. Luckily, you left your bedroom door open, so he didn’t need to figure that out somehow. 

Lemon was already asleep, curled up on your left pillow. Carefully, he laid you down on the bed, pushing away stray hairs on your face afterward. He stayed there for a moment, staring at your peaceful expression. His heart warmed, a tingly feeling in his belly erupting at the sight of you. He tugged the blanket over your body, pressing a finger to his lips when Lemon startled awake.

Tucking you in, he hovered for a minute before pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Night, sweets,” he whispered before moving to his feet. Before he could get very far, a hand shot out from under the blanket and weakly grasped at his wrist. Turning, Jake held a breath at the sight of your sleepy eyes gazing up at him. “Only have one bed,” you slurred, sleep taking over your speech. “Sleep here.”

Jake balked at you, hands subconsciously balling at his sides. “Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch—”

“No! Sleep here.” You didn’t give him much room to argue as you scooted backwards to give him some room before lifting the blanket in invitation. This movement bugged Lemon, clearly, as she moved from your pillow to lay in the nook of your bent legs. “Come on, we’ve slept in the same bed before.”

Swallowing at the sight of you, eyes barely open and shirt riding up further than he could handle, Jake relented, knowing you would keep arguing with him until daylight. The last time we slept in the same bed, you were bawling your eyes out over Heeseung, he stopped himself from saying. The thought lingered as he crawled in next to you, keeping a respectful distance. 

Satisfied, you allowed your heavy lids to close, a small, contented smile painted on your lips. “G’night, Jake.”

He sighed. “Good night, sweets.”

You fell asleep instantly, hand resting on the pillow in front of your face. Jake mirrored your position, your pinkies centimetres from touching. He observed the slow rise and fall of your chest and the occasional sniffs when your hair would fall and tickle your nose. His eyes traced your every feature, from the curve of your cheek to your supple lips. 

Jake did not sleep well that night.

FOURTEEN DAYS.

Two days after Jake had made an appearance, he quickly fell into a routine with you. He would wake up first and have a cup of coffee ready for you whenever you’d sleepily bound into the kitchen. A bowl of cereal would already be sitting on the counter, the jug of milk sitting beside it. Your mornings were quiet as you both woke up, only a raspy “good morning” before you’d sit in silence over your bowls.

It had been a long time since you had such normalcy, and you’d be lying if you said you hated it.

“Hey,” he started, only half done chewing his cereal. “We have, like, two weeks left until we actually need to be in Seoul, right?”

You eyed him suspiciously for his cheery tone so early in the morning. Swallowing your food first, you nodded. “Yeah, but Chae wants us back at least two days before in case things need fixing or whatever.” Sipping your coffee, you raised a brow at him, “Why?”

Grinning at you, he leaned over to grab your arm in excitement. Your eyes darted to where you connected, noting how his thumb immediately started rubbing the inside of your wrist, making you cross your legs under the table. “Let’s make our trip back a road trip!”

You blinked. “Jake. You drove here—it was already going to be a road trip to go back.”

Jake threw his head back in a groan, inadvertently showing you his Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down. You followed the movement down to his wide shoulders before looking away a second before he straightened up to meet eyes with you. “Dummy, I know that. Let’s make it a fun road trip with loads of stops and everything!” He talked animatedly, waving his hands with reckless abandon. “There are lots of small towns and pitstops on the way to Seoul, but we’ve never actually explored them.”

“How do you know I haven’t?”

Jake looked at you as if you had grown two heads. “If you have and I wasn’t invited, your best friend card is being revoked this instant. You hear me? Revoked.”

Laughing, you stood and grabbed both of your empty bowls. “Fine, we can have your fun road trip. You’re doing all the planning, though, since it was your idea.” You tilted his coffee mug toward you to see if he had finished it, placing it back where it was when you saw the brown liquid still swirling inside. He followed you to the sink, sleeves already rolled up when you placed the porcelain into the basin.

You didn’t say anything when he gently pulled you to the side and grabbed the sponge to start cleaning. “I already have the route!” He told you, not taking his eyes off the dishes. “It’s in my phone. You can look—it’s in the notes app.” Peaking at you through his lashes, he nodded his head in the general direction of where he left his phone. “Password’s still the same.”

You snorted, picking it up from the table before joining him at the sink, hopping up on the counter beside him. As you entered your birthyear into the phone, you didn’t catch the way he eyes your thighs, your shorts doing little to nothing to cover up the way they flattened slightly against the cool marble. “Y’know,” you started, ripping him out of his thoughts, ushering him to quickly place the bowls and spoons onto your drying rack. “This is a shitty password. You’re gonna get robbed one day.”

 He shrugged, pulling the hand towel off your oven’s handle to dry his hands. You watched him, silently ogling at the veins that popped out in his forearms when he turned to replace the towel. “Maybe, but it’s important to me.”

“My birth year?”

He grinned at you with a simple nod, standing between your thighs. His eyes fell to them once more when you absentmindedly spread your legs to give him room to stand. Biting the inside of his cheek, he shakily rested his palms on either side of you, moving slow enough for you to object if you were uncomfortable. "It's the year my favourite person was born, after all." You didn’t say anything, instead looking back at his phone screen.

He watched as your eyes flit back and forth as you read, his fingers itching to move closer to you, to touch your skin. He opted to curl his fingers until his nails dug into his palms. “When did you figure this out?” You asked, smiling at the title of the note.

Sweets and Jake’s Road Trip !!!

“Last night, while you slept.”

You shot him a look, searching for eye bags. You were relieved when you didn’t see any, but you punched his shoulder nonetheless. “Idiot. If you can’t sleep, you can wake me, you know? You don’t have to stay up by yourself.” You placed a hand on his forearm, rubbing your thumb over a jutting vein just as he had to you moments before.

His urge to touch you grew stronger, and he felt his mental fortitude crumbling at the contact. Clearing his throat, Jake shrugged. “You’re cute when you sleep, princess. Didn’t want to wake you.” Moving away before your scent could drive him any more insane, he rubbed the back of his neck. “So? What’s the verdict?”

Lips parted from his casual slip of a nickname you’d never heard from him before, you dumbly nodded. “Good. It’s good. Let’s do it.” You hopped down from the counter, Jake’s hands immediately moving to steady you once you got on your feet. “When do we leave?”

Jake grinned at you, revealing his canines. “Whenever you’re ready, sweets.”

You returned the smile, excitement starting to affect you. “Let’s get ready then, shall we?”

It didn’t take either of you very long to get your suitcases and essentials put together. Jake had mostly kept his things in his suitcase, only pulling out clothes he needed for the day or toiletries that you didn’t have any to spare. Two toothbrushes sat in a cup instead of the usual one, and the sight made you grin as you collected your things. Chaewon had your dress up in Seoul, so you didn’t need to worry about any of that either.

An hour after Jake proposed the road trip, he was waiting outside, one hand clasped over both of your luggage handles, the other holding Lemon’s carrier as you locked the door. The two of you walked out to his car in silence, the crisp morning air making you shiver under your thin jacket. “It’s still summer,” you complained in a long drawl, “why is it so fucking cold in the morning?”

Jake laughed at you, thanking you when you opened the back door of his car for him and carefully slid the luggage and carrier in. “Relax, princess, I’ll turn the heat on just for you, yeah?”

You grumbled at his teasing, taking your spot in the passenger seat without a word as he held the door open for you. You watched him jog around the car to reach his side, never taking your eyes off him as he fiddled with the A/C. As he turned the ignition on, he handed you his phone. “Put something on for me, will you?” 

As he drove, you noted the fact that he drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting casually on the middle console. His arms were exposed in the black tee he wore, seemingly not as affected by the cold as you were. You willed yourself not to notice how the shirt was unfairly form-fitting, wrapping around the bulk of his bicep in a way that was sending you spinning. 

The first stop was five minutes away from your apartment as Jake pulled into the parking lot of a nearby convenience store. Jake unrolled the windows a bit for Lemon, telling her to be good as the both of you exited the vehicle. Once inside, you shivered at how strong the store had its A/C running. 

Eyeing you, Jake sent you a smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll be quick.”

Without another word, you followed as Jake made his way through the different aisles, picking up snacks that you easily recognized as some of your favourites. Even grabbing a heat pack, he waved it at you teasingly. “Weirdo, needing a heat pack in the middle of August.”

You sputtered, “Wha— I never asked you to—”

Interrupting you with a bark of a laugh, he shook his head. “Just poking fun. C’mon, let’s go. Lemon’s probably waiting for us.” You huffed but didn’t argue as he pulled you to the front cashier by the hand. You trained your sight on your connected hands, moving them so your fingers interlaced. Jake briefly looked down at what you’d done, but if it bothered him, he didn’t say anything.

“Oh, it’s you!”

To both your surprise and Jake’s, the cashier’s eyes lit up when he saw you. “We had English together,” he filled in when you didn’t seem to recognize him. “We were in a group project together for the final?” You blinked a few times before making a noise of recognition.

“Riki! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you with the new hair,” you explained, glancing at his newly dark brown hair. “It was blond before. Looks good now, though!” You gave him a thumbs up. Before he could reply beside you, Jake cleared his throat. Both you and Riki looked at him, realizing that the latter hadn’t even started ringing your items through, and there was a bit of a line behind you.

Riki immediately started scanning the snacks Jake had brought, never taking his eyes off you. “What’re you up to this summer? I haven’t seen you at all since the semester ended.”

You hummed, “My cousin’s wedding is in two weeks, so Jake and I—” You nudged him, not noticing how quiet he had gotten. “—are driving back to Seoul right after this.”

The younger boy nodded, glancing over at Jake before looking down at your hands. You forgot they were still intertwined, but Jake's grip tightened when you went to let go. You dropped your head to hide how warm your cheeks felt, biting your lip lightly. “Ah,” Riki put down the scanning gun, his tone noticeably less happy. “₩9000, please.”

Jake threw a few crumpled notes on the counter before bowing his head slightly in goodbye, tugging you toward the exit wordlessly. You waved at Riki over your shoulder before walking quickly to fall in step with Jake. “You okay? You were quiet in there, and then you pulled us out like that.”

Jake only nodded, carelessly tossing the bag of snacks into the back with your luggage. “Here,” he tossed you the heat pack, already cracked and warming up. He opened your door again without further explanation before taking his own seat.

You stared at his profile in confusion, the heat pack already doing its job on your frigid hands. As he pulled back onto the road, you glanced at his hand, which rested over the middle console as it had before.

Curiously, you turned his wrist until his palm was facing upward. Jake watched you from the corner of his eye, only turning his head when he reached a red light. He hadn’t expected you to put your hand in his, interlocking your fingers once again. “Your hands are warmer,” you mumbled, leaning back to get comfortable. In shock, Jake hadn’t taken his eyes off of you.

Smiling tightly at him, you squeezed his hand. “The light’s green.”

Snapping his head forward, he coughed as he focused on the road. For the next while, your hand would stay in his. The ride to the next town was spent in silence, with you mouthing the lyrics to songs you recognized from his playlists. 

In Jake’s phone, he had written that you were to stay at motels in towns along the way. When you protested at the cost it would be, he simply argued with it’s for the experience, sweets. And no worries! I’m paying for the whole trip. And when you argued with that last bit, he only replied, if I see your wallet at all, I might have to fight you.

Your first real stop was in a small fishing village, the last coastal town you’d see before you started driving inland. The morning chill was gone, replaced with the comforting warmth of the summer sun. Despite that, you didn’t let go of Jake’s hand until you had to get out of the car. Stretching your limbs, you groaned when you felt and heard some joints pop. 

You inhaled deeply, closing your eyes as you took in the smell of the ocean and the distant chatter of nearby townspeople. The motel Jake brought you to was a little rundown; it was obvious that it had been around for quite some time. The paint was peeling a bit, and the shingles on the roof made it look dated, but it had a cozy feel to it. Besides, it was the only dog-friendly motel in the area, so you couldn’t afford to be choosy.

“Hello,” the old woman at the receptionist's desk greeted you kindly, eyes shifting from you to Jake. You smiled at her, bowing your head in respect. Besides you, Jake did the same with that easygoing grin of his. “How may I help you?”

“A room for two, please,” said Jake.

The woman nodded, looking over at the remaining room keys. Grabbing one, she handed it over to you before telling Jake how much it’d cost. As Jake fumbled with his wallet, the old woman looked at you fondly. “You two are precious,” she informed you with an air of nostalgia, her wrinkled hand resting atop her chest over her heart. “I remember when me and my late husband were your age.”

You blushed at her insinuation that you and Jake were together but found that the idea wasn’t as jarring as you thought it’d be. You couldn’t tell if Jake didn’t catch the comment or chose not to reply as he handed her the money she needed. 

It wasn’t hard to find your room out of the ten total, and you were pleased to see that the coziness of the outside continued inside. Jake wheeled your luggage in while you opened Lemon’s carrier, letting her roam free in the room, sniffing the foreign air. The room itself wasn’t too big, consisting of the main room that could only fit a single queen bed and not much else and a bathroom that was longer than it was wide. 

“It’s like we’re teens again,” you giggled at Jake, shrugging off your jacket. “We’re sharing beds often.”

Jake let out a breath at the realization that there really was only one bed again and nodded stiffly. He supposed that was his fault for not mentioning how many beds you needed. “I guess so,” he gazed at you tenderly. “You sure you don’t mind?”

You rolled your eyes at him, “You can cut the gentleman act with me, Jake. If I minded, I would’ve said something already. We shared a bed in my apartment, remember?”

Of course I remember, he thought, it was driving me crazy.

In truth, Jake hasn’t been able to sleep because of how cuddly you were in your sleep. He’d purposely lay as far as he could from you so as not to give in to any temptations, but it seemed like you had other plans whenever you laid your head to rest. Not two minutes after he’d heard your soft snores, your hands were reaching for him, pulling you closer to his torso until you were snuggled up against him. 

He may have only been staying with you for two days, but he’s had to take just as many cold showers before you woke up.

“Do you wanna go on a walk?” you asked once the two of you settled. Lemon sat by your feet, circling them by looping under the chair you sat on to entertain herself. “It’d be nice to venture out! I think poor Lemon’s a bit restless from the carrier.” You bent over to rub behind her ears, to which she let out a yip of approval.

Jake smiled softly at the sight before nodding. “Let’s go, then.”

Thankfully, Lemon was an off-leash dog and stayed close by as you walked the streets of an unfamiliar town. In the distance, seagulls cried out to each other as fishing boats pushed off from the harbour. The sound of the sea lulled you into a peaceful reverie. You and Jake walked side by side, fingers brushing against each other every so often.

“It’s nice here,” you mumbled, “we should have done this sooner.”

Jake hummed, the low noise rattling in your ears. You closed your eyes as you walked, fully trusting Jake to guide you if you were going to walk into anything. He smiled softly at the sight of your relaxed demeanour, moving to hold your hand. You walked in silence for a bit before you reached the shore. Jake spotted some beach chairs, pulling you along. Lemon bounded ahead, happy to have room to run. You cracked open your eyes in time to see her jump into the water, barking happily as she entertained herself.

“Next time, you should bring Layla,” you suggested as you sat down. 

Jake smiled down at your hands. “Yeah, next time.”

Silence fell upon you, but it wasn’t unwelcome. You both watched Lemon as she played in the water, occasionally coming up to bring you a rock she had found before hopping back into the puddles the tide was creating. All the while, your hands stayed clasped, with Jakes's thumb rubbing familiar circles on the back of your palm.

“Why did you move so far?”

You halted, your smile slipping. “You asked me already.”

“But you weren’t being completely truthful with me.” He looked at you, concern shining in his eyes. “You’re not over it, are you?”

The topic dampened your mood, your heart rate rising as you avoided eye contact. “I told you already, Jake. I don’t love Heeseung anymore. I’m fine,” you pressed, lying through your teeth. Lying to Jake always left a bitter taste in your mouth, as you knew he could tell immediately that it wasn’t the truth. “What kind of cousin would I be if I were still in love with her groom-to-be?”

Jake’s frown deepened. “You have the right to be hurt—”

“But I’m not! So drop it.” Your outburst garnered the attention of a few townspeople who were out and about, causing you to flush in embarrassment. Lowering your voice, you stared down at the rocky beach, digging your dirtied trainers into the course sand. “I’m fine.”

Unbelieving, Jake continued, “It’s just… I thought you had enough reason to stay.”

His words made you look up, annoyed at how much he was pressing the topic on you. “Clearly, I didn’t.” Shaking your head, you dropped his hand before standing to your feet and dusting off imaginary dirt from your pants. You looked down at him, a mistake as you were forced to look at his hurt expression, lip trembling as he stared up at you open-mouthed. “I’m going back.”

He only watched your back as you walked away, beckoning Lemon to follow. The poor puppy got out of the water, shaking off the excess. She ran toward you but paused and looked back at Jake. She tilted her head as if she were asking Aren’t you coming? before running after you.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, shellshocked, until he realized that the sun was starting to set. Deciding he had been out there long enough, Jake slowly made his way back to the motel. When he got to your room, he hesitated, knowing that you could easily lock him out for the night if you were still upset with him since you had the only key.

Jake stood there, mulling over whether or not he should try knocking, but before he could even decide, the door opened. He was met with you, tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. “Don’t just stand there,” you opened the door more for him to come in. His heart broke at the sight of you and at how wet your voice sounded, as if you had just finished crying.

“Sweets, I’m sorry—” 

You shook your head, holding up a hand to stop him. “No, you did… you did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have exploded at you like that or left you alone out there.” You looked down in shame, gnawing at your bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

He was quick to lift your chin with two fingers, keeping them there as he rested his other hand on your upper arm. “Hey, no, none of that. I shouldn’t have pushed you when you obviously didn’t want to talk about it.” He pushed your hair behind your ear before bringing you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your head in his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head before muttering in your ear, “I’m sorry, sweets. I promise I won’t ask about it until you tell me you’re ready.”

You let go of the hug, but Jake kept you close in his arms. Looking into his eyes with welled-up tears, you pouted slightly, bringing his gaze downward. “You’re sure you’re not upset with me?”

“With you, never, sweets.”

You opened your mouth but closed it before you could say anything. Hugging him again, your voice came out muffled. “Wanna sleep.”

Jake chuckled at you, dropping his head in disbelief. “Okay.”

Not long after, you were both situated in bed, with Lemon lying at your feet like usual. As he had for nights before, Jake kept his distance, but you quickly changed that. For the first time, you cuddled up to him while you were awake, fully aware of your actions. Jake’s breath halted as he felt you nuzzle your face into the soft fabric of his tee, which smelt so strongly of him that it was all you could smell. “I love you,” you whispered into his skin, sending his brain into a frenzy. “You’re the bestest friend I could’ve ever asked for.”

Jake could practically hear the record screech in his head, gritting his teeth a bit before relaxing his jaw to leave another soft kiss against your temple. “I love you too, sweets.”

The day had exhausted him more than he’d realized. For the first time in two days, Jake found himself falling asleep right after you, holding you tightly against his chest.

You awoke to the feeling of something warm attached to your neck. A quiet moan escaped your lips when the something bit down. You felt large hands explore the expanse of your side, your sleeping shirt pushed far up. Something hard poked against your thigh as you angled your head upward.

Your eyes fluttered open as you realized it was Jake, groaning as he nipped at your skin, leaving behind blossoms of red and purple. You moved your hips closer to his, gasping when his growing hard-on made contact with your clothed sex. “Fuck, baby, you don’t know what you do to me,” he uttered, his deep voice going straight to your groin. Your panties, you were sure, were already soaked with your slick.

“Please,” you whined as he bit down harder, and his hand roamed higher, tracing the curve of the underside of your breast with his fingers. His mouth felt oh-so-hot on your skin, and his teasing touch did little to alleviate it. “Show me, Jake. Show me what I do to you.”

He pulled back, ignoring the noise of disappointment you made. His eyes looked impossibly dark as he hovered over you, chest heaving. “Be careful what you wish for, pretty girl.” He easily flipped you onto your back, slotting himself between your legs. You moaned loudly when he ground his hips against yours, allowing you to feel just how hard he’d gotten. 

His lips met yours in a hungry kiss, tongue forcing itself past your lips to lick into your mouth. His hands moved wildly, pushing your shirt up until your breasts were fully uncovered, nipples pebbling in exposure to the cold air. “So beautiful,” he groaned into your ear as one hand kneaded your left breast. “Fuck, gonna make you mine, yeah? You want that?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed pathetically, a sob of need ripping through your throat as his free hand made its way to your shorts. “Please, Jake, need you so badly.”

He groaned again, pushing past the elastic waistband and guiding his fingers into your soaked panties. He moved down to collect your wetness and…

You breathed in harshly when you woke up, your heart racing faster than it ever had before. You blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness of the room, remembering where you were. Your chest heaved as you tried to calm yourself down, your face burning. Oh my god, you thought in slight mortification.

Jake’s arm rested over your middle, you realized, as he spooned you from behind. Your startle hadn’t woken him, his soft snores sounding in your ear canals. You were relieved that he wasn’t awake to ask why you woke up so violently because how were you to explain that it was because you were having a wet dream about him?

The dull feeling of disappointment had settled into your gut from having been interrupted before the dream could get good, a feeling that came with shame at how indisputable your horniness was. You’d never dreamed of Jake in such a light, but now you were worried that you wouldn’t be able to rid yourself of the sight of his eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure as he ground against you—

No. You need to stop.

Turning your head to groan into the pillow, you became hyper-aware of how wet you were, your panties sticking uncomfortably to your pussy. You pressed your legs together, silently willing the pulsing of your clit to calm down and let you fall asleep again. If you fall asleep, you might forget about this in the morning.

“Stop moving,” Jake’s tired voice scared you, making you jump. He used his arm to pull you closer against him, your hand against your mouth to stop yourself from making any noise. Not long after, you heard his deep breaths again, signalling that he’d fallen asleep. 

Fuck, you were screwed. You closed your eyes tightly, but all you could think about was how firm and warm he felt. Pressed against him like this, you could almost feel everything. From his tone chest and legs to his soft length, pressing against your backside. His gray sweats and your flimsy shorts barely acted as a barrier between you. Stretching your legs out, you realize that Lemon had hopped off the bed at some point, likely to sleep in her carrier.

Without thinking, your shaky hand made its way down your front, actively avoiding his arm. You bit your lip harshly as you slipped a finger underneath your shorts, listening carefully to ensure he wasn’t awake. This is crazy, you have never thought of doing something so indecent in front of Jake, but the idea was sending you into a frenzy. 

You fingertip made contact with your slit, and you had to stop yourself from moaning aloud at just how wet you were. Slowly, you rubbed circles around your clit, jolting slightly at the initial contact. Maybe it was from the dream or the fact that Jake was right there, but you felt more sensitive than usual, holding in whimpers with every movement.

“F-fuck,” you accidentally let out, screwing your eyes shut as you moved your hand faster. In the quiet stillness of the night, you could hear your slick with every flick of your wrist. If Jake woke up, there’d be no question to what you were doing, but the thought only spurred you on more.

Using your other hand to grope yourself over your shirt, you teased your entrance, easily inserting a finger. It wasn’t enough, your finger failing to fill you up how you know Jake’s would, a thought that forced out a rather loud moan.

Realizing how loud you were, you paused and listened to his breathing. Before you could even register that his breaths weren’t as deep as they were before, his arm tightened around you.

“Naughty fucking girl,” he hissed into your ear, pulling your hand out of your panties. You didn’t have time to feel humiliated before he rolled you onto your back, his thighs pressing into your waist as he sat on top of you. The look he gave you was just like the one he had in your dream, eyes dark and pupils full-blown, eyebrows furrowed together in desperate need.

“Touching yourself like that while my arm’s around you,” he spat, leaning until he was mere inches away from your face. “Thinking I wouldn’t wake up. Needed me that badly, yeah?”

It was clear that you were shocked, wide-eyed and jaw agape. Not once in your lifetime of friendship with Jake had you seen this feral side to him. You felt his hardening length when he pressed his hips down and groaned. “Come on, sweets. I know you’re smarter than that. You can answer me with words like a big girl.”

You smacked your lips together in disbelief before nodding slowly. “Yeah,” you stuttered. “Need you so bad, Jake.” Your own words surprised you, his boldness rubbing off on you. “Dreamt of you,” you confessed.

Jake raised a brow at you, laying his hand flat on your side. “Yeah? Was I touching you,” he used his hand to push up your shirt, moving faster than his dream counterpart had and groping at your breast, flicking his thumb over the hardening bud. “Like this?”

Nodding fervently, you bit your lip to hold in your moans as he handled you. He clicked his tongue using his other hand to pull at your bottom lip until it was released from your teeth. “Wanna hear you, princess. You had no problem moaning while I was asleep. Unfair to hide them in front of me now, isn’t it?”

He bent down to take your other nipple in his hot mouth, his searing tongue darting out to circle the sensitive bud. His eyes never left yours, watching your expressions as you arched your back to his ministrations. He let go of your nipple, only to blow cold air on it, making you whimper. “What else did I do, pretty?” He asked, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. “Did I make you feel good?”

“Fuck,” you cried when he thrust his hips against you, giving you a hint as to what was to come. “Made me feel so good, Jake.” You threw your head back as he continued, shallowly thrusting against your clothed core. You weakly pointed at your neck. “Kissed me here,” you sighed when he leaned forward to leave kitten licks against your neck, nipping gently at the skin. “And…”

He bit down on the skin under your ear, using his tongue to soothe the mark before kissing up to your earlobe. “And?” His deep voice resonated within you, making you shiver.

“And then you…” You trailed off, instead opting to run a hand down your front to the waistband of your shorts, not missing the way his eyes followed. “Touched me here.” Tapping over your clothed clit, you avoided his gaze out of shyness, still in disbelief of this situation. “Then I woke up.” Your voice was weak, doused in lust and need for the man in front of you.

He smirked at you, moving back so he could pull your shorts off, leaving you in your oversized tee—an old shirt of his he’d given you before you moved—and your soaked baby blue panties. Even in the dark, he could see how wet you were, the thought making him groan as he palmed himself over his sweats at the sight of you. 

“Poor baby,” he sighed, though you heard no actual sympathy in his tone. “Couldn’t get off in your dream, so you touched yourself like a whore in front of me.” You squirmed at his vulgarity, his words sending shockwaves to your clenching pussy. Shifting his body down the bed so he was laying between your thighs, he left kisses up and down the sensitive skin there. His tongue traced a line from your knee up to where you truly wanted him before stopping right before your panties. His mouth wrapped around your skin as he bit down, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to really hurt.

When he pulled away, a dark hickey had formed. “Shit,” he groaned, “God, I love marking you up.” He looked back up at you, resting on your elbows so you could watch him. “Gonna leave marks all over, yeah? Then you’ll know who made you feel good, pretty girl.”

Mindlessly, you nodded, wanting him to do anything he wanted with you. His every word made you feel impossibly wet, almost embarrassingly so.

Without missing a beat, he kissed your clit over your panties, making you whimper as you thrust your hips up toward his face. “Patience, baby,” he mumbled, tonguing you through the thin fabric of your underwear. “Gonna make you feel good.” Using his teeth, he pulled your panties down, your slick stringing along as he got them to your knees before using his hands to pull them off completely. 

The sight of your exposed cunt, wet and clenching around nothing, made Jake crazy. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he admitted with a groan before he dove into your pussy, licking up your slick. He drew figure-eights over your clit before closing his lips around it and sucking, making you cry out. You felt his long fingers poke at your entrance, the stimulation leaving you a mess of moans and whimpers.

When two of his fingers pushed past your entrance, you both groaned at the feeling of him sliding inside your gummy walls. His tongue worked at your clit as he slowly scissored his fingers inside you, all while watching your reactions. “So hot,” you gasped, clawing at the bed sheets. “Fuck, Jake, gonna…” You cut yourself off, moaning loudly, when he started moving his fingers faster.

“Cum for me, sweets.” His demand seemingly made you snap as you came around his fingers in an instant. He closed his eyes as his jaw dropped in a groan, relishing the feeling of you clenching tightly around his fingers. He slowly took them out, biting his lip at how wet you were. The whine you let out once you were empty would live in his mind for the rest of his days, he decided, as he moved up the bed to come eye to eye with you.

You watched as he sucked his fingers clean of your wetness before leaning in and kissing you harshly. The taste of him mixed with your juices made you moan, grabbing at the fabric of his shirt tightly. He bit your bottom lip, pulling at it slightly before kissing you deeply once more. Your lips slotted together with ease, like two puzzle pieces.

He felt your hand travel down his stomach to the strings of his sweatpants, leaning back to watch as you undid the knot before pulling them down in a swift motion. He sat up to kick the garment off, before returning to his spot between your thighs. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, hunger in your gaze as you inspected his cock, hard against his stomach. It was red, needy and weeping, one pronounced vein running along his shaft. More importantly, he was thick—thicker than any toys you had bought on a whim.

When you looked up at him, he must’ve caught your fear as he cupped your face in his warm palm. Kissing you gently, he brushed your hair back. “We don’t need to go any further if you don’t want us to,” he assured you, even though the hardness of his length said otherwise. “We’ll only go as far as you want to.”

You bit your lip, “Then…” Without another word, you closed a fist around his shaft, watching his eyes widen. “I want to make you feel good, too,” you whispered. You collected some of his precum, using it to glide your hand up and down at a torturous pace, your eyes never leaving his face.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, shoving his face in the crook of your neck. You felt his hot breaths fan over your skin, leaving goosebumps, and he moaned in your ear. His arms were braced on either side of your head, his scent invading your senses as you touched him. “Doing so well for me,” he hushed, kissing at your neck. He nudged your jawline with his nose, sucking down on your jugular. “Shit,” his hips stuttered, thrusting up into your grasp. “Go faster for me, yeah?”

You nodded, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you picked up speed. Using your other hand to grasp his balls, you delighted in the way he groaned a little louder, your name slipping from his lips wantonly. Leaning forward, you bit down on his shoulder, flicking your tongue out just as he had before. With your lips on him, he moaned your name once more, fucking up into your hand with reckless abandon. He swore lowly as his hips stilled, ropes of thick cum spilling from his cock and onto your hands and shirt.

He stayed there momentarily, catching his breath before hovering a bit higher to watch you. Inspecting your hand, you brought it to your lips. His eyes never left your tongue as he watched it dart out to catch any drops of his seed. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he sighed once you finished, wiping off any remains on your soiled tee. He pulled the tee over your head before giving you his own, still warm from being worn. 

“Go to sleep, sweets,” he mumbled against your temple as he settled in next to you. “We’ll talk in the morning, yeah?”

Your morning talk ended up with his tongue between your thighs in the shower as you struggled to keep yourself up, one leg over his shoulder. You were sure the people in the rooms next to you could hear your cries when you came on his tongue for the nth time, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. 

Once he thought you had cum an adequate amount of times, he carefully set you down, massaging your aching thighs as he kissed you gently. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes still closed. Taking the opportunity, you pecked his lips before reaching for the body wash, giggling.

You never ended up talking about it, getting distracted by Lemon, who whined at the door when you finally came out of the bathroom. 

The rest of the road trip went similarly. You’d hold hands as he drove to your next destination, and then you’d get each other off in your motel rooms until the motel owners eventually kicked you out for disturbances. Between towns, you’d talk as if he wasn’t just knuckles deep in your heat or as if you didn’t just have his cock shoved down your throat as he fucked your face.

Words that needed to be spoken never were. Your fearful thoughts kept you from initiating the conversation that could very well destroy years of friendship with Jake.

ONE DAY.

Finally, you had made it to Seoul. Unfortunately, a flat tire in the middle of nowhere stopped you from getting there two days before, as Chaewon wanted. Luckily, nothing did go wrong and everything seemed to be ready for tomorrow.

Tired from the long trip, both emotionally and physically, Jake offered his house for you to stay at. Without thinking, you said yes. You took his keys and unlocked the door as Jake grabbed your things from the car, Lemon pushing past your feet and into the house, eager to explore.

As she made her way around, her nails against the hardwood floor indicating where she was, you and Jake pushed your luggage into the living room before collapsing onto the couch.

“I’m so happy to be home,” he sighed, stretching his limbs. “As fun as road trips are, nothing beats sleeping in your own bed.” Glancing over at you, a million thoughts raced in his mind, but he pushed them away. He wanted to talk about what you were, the frequent hookups making his brain mush. But he could read you—he always could. You’ve always been so emotive that you made it easy, but he had your habits memorized. He knew exactly when you didn’t want to do something and that you weren’t ready for talking.

So he didn’t say anything, even though he knew it might hurt him in the long run.

Unlike your apartment or the many motels you stayed at over your trip, Jake actually had two beds. The thought of sleeping in separate rooms felt so foreign, but he told you anyway. You hummed, “Maybe I should sleep in the guest room then.” You grinned at him, “You’re probably tired of having to share a bed with me by now.”

Never, he thought.

That night, he lay in his too-empty bed, restless. Knowing you were in the same house, with only a thin wall separating you, was driving him mad. Not having you next to him, curled up against his side, drove him mad. His hand clenched around the bedsheets, where you would’ve been if you had taken up his silent plea to sleep in the same room as him.

In that moment, Jake realizes just how screwed he really is. Covering his eyes with his forearm, he quietly swore into the empty room, his heart aching. Jake had gotten so used to being so close to you, to have you by his side as he pleasured you, your high-pitched cries echoing in his ears. He knew it wouldn’t last forever and that he’d have to drive you home a few days after the wedding. Then, he didn’t know how long it’d be until he saw you again.

He wonders if everything that happened will get brushed under the rug. God, he hoped not. 

Just as he decided he’d need some sleep for the wedding tomorrow, he heard something through the wall. He held his breath, straining his ears to hear the noise's source. Before long, he realized it was you, your short breaths easily passing through the wall, the sound of your slick ringing clear as day to him.

Without another thought, he ripped off his blanket and made his way to the guest room. To his surprise, you hadn’t even closed your door, his eyes blessed with the sight of you atop the bed. Neither the blankets nor the sheets were disturbed, making it clear that you hadn’t even gotten comfortable before you started. He watched in a daze as your fingers plunged in and out of your hole, your face contorted into one of drunken pleasure.

He felt himself grow hard as he stepped closer. You whimpered out his name as you rubbed harsh circles over your clit, and something inside Jake snapped.

“You must love fucking torturing me,” he rasped, roughly pulling your fingers out of your pussy and pinning your hands to the bed, leaving your body fully exposed to him. “Always touching yourself in front of me like a slut. You knew what you were doing, leaving your door open.” When you turned your head away in feigned humiliation, he used his free hand to forcibly turn your cheek. His nails dug into your jaw as he forced you to look at him.

“Do you know how crazy you make me feel?” He asked, but he narrowed his eyes at you when you went to answer. “Do you know how fucking long I’ve wanted to see you like this? Needy and begging for my cock?” His words shut up, the implication of something more making your heart race.

“Do you know how hard it’s been for me to stop myself from making you mine every night we’re together?” He growled, letting go of your hands to push your legs up against your chest. “Do you know how hard it is to refrain from kissing you every time you look at me with that look in your eye?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him in for a kiss, your lips meeting in a fight for dominance. His hands pushed you deeper against the bed as he pressed himself against you. His patience was wearing thin as he pulled away, only to pull off his shirt before he leaned in again. Your lips, your taste—all of you was addicting to Jake.

“Jake,” you moaned out when he attacked your neck, adding to the healing bruises from before. “‘M ready now. Please, please, make me yours,” you begged, spreading your legs wider for emphasis.

If he wasn’t hard before, he was now at your plea, a growl stuck at the back of his throat at the thought of fucking you like how he’s wanted to. “You sure, princess?” he asked, leaning back to look you in the eye.

“I’ve never been more sure,” you gasped, eyes darting from his left to right. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

Jake only shook his head, pulling you in for another deep kiss. Jake swallowed your moans, a feeling of possessiveness taking over him as he fondled your breasts. “All mine,” he hissed, “you’re mine.”

He made quick work of his sleep shorts, the garment getting thrown across the room into some corner to be found in the morning. His cock was pretty as ever, and your hands instinctively went to grab at it. “Next time, baby,” he rasped, “Need to take you now.”

You cried out when you felt the tip of his length nudge against your folds, collecting your juices as he ran his cock up and down your cunt. A broken whimper of his name ripped through your throat when he bumped your clit, his own deep moan shaking in his chest. He felt like he was losing his mind, the warmth of your pussy felt so good against his shaft, and he hadn’t even entered you yet.

You felt him line himself up at your entrance, and you tensed. Noticing, Jake left gentle kisses against your shoulder. “I’ll take care of you, pretty, just lay back, yeah?”

You nodded but felt hot tears well up in your eyes as he pushed past your entrance, a stinging burn erupting between your legs. He moved slowly, but inch by inch, the burn became more intense. “It’ll hurt more when you’re this tense, baby,” he whispered, massaging your right breast in hopes of distracting you. His lips met yours in a kiss more gentle than any that preceded it. Screwing your eyes shut, tears beaded at the corners of your eyes before they fell, disappearing into your hairline. He kissed your temple when he finally bottomed out after what felt like years. “Doing so well for me, sweets.”

He stilled for a few minutes despite wanting nothing more but to drill into you. Leaving kisses all over your face and neck, he observed as your face relaxed more and more. “You can move now,” you whispered, out of breath.

“Yeah? Trust me?”

“Mhm,” you closed your eyes—the sting had disappeared, and now you just felt stuffed. “I trust you, Jake.”

Your admittance made his head spin as he dropped his head onto your shoulder. Slowly, he pulled out until just the tip was inside before thrusting into you. A low moan rumbled in your chest as Jake sucked at your neck. He repeated the motion, rocking into you slowly until you got used to it.

After a while, the pain turned to pleasure as you clenched around him, making him gasp against your skin. “Faster, please,” you begged, linking your ankles around his back. “Need you.”

Just as you asked, Jake upped his pace, moving steadily. He sat back gripping your waist as he thrust into you. He watched for your reactions, eyes darting from your scrunched up face to the bouncing of your breasts down to the jiggle of your thighs with each thrust. His speed picked up until he was pistoling into you, broken moans pushing past your lips as his hips slapped against yours.

The sound of your wetness was so obscene, if you were in a normal state of mind you would’ve been embarrassed. But the drag of his cock against your walls and the way his pelvic bone grazed your clit every time he bottomed out was deliciously addicting.  “Feels so fucking good,” Jake moaned, “you’re gripping me so tightly—fuck!—gonna make me cum, princess.” Falling forward, he braced himself on one arm, reaching for your puffy clit with the other. He rubbed fast cirlces on your clit as he pounded into you, the sound of skin against skin turning you on more. You willed yourself to keep your eyes open, to bask in the sight of Jake slowly losing control of his movements as he got closer to his own release.

The sight of him hunched over you, eyes glassy as he furrowed his brows in concentration, beads of sweat dripping from his hairline, causing his blond hair to stick to his forehead, was so fucking hot. You gripped at his arms, muscles bulging as he struggled to keep himself up.

You felt an orgasm fast approaching, your own whines coming out higher and higher. “Fu—ck, Jake,” you swore, “I’m so close, please, I—”

At your words, Jake’s hips moved faster, hitting the spot that made you see stars over and over again. “You look so beautiful like this,” he uttered breathlessly. “Fuck, I love you.” The words spilled from his lips unintentionally, the way your walls clenched around him knocked any sense of thought out of him, his only coherent thought being to make you cream around his cock.

His words echoed in your brain as you came with a cry of his name. The feeling of you cumming sent Jake into overdrive as he pistoned into you, overstimulating you as he chased his release. After a moment, he stilled, coming inside of your cavern. You felt his release paint your walls white, bringing you into a second orgasm.

He stayed inside you for a while, hovering over your tired body as he caught his breath. Eventually, he pulled out, his cum spilling from your clenching hole, making him sigh in pleasure at the sight. He kissed your temple before moving to get off the bed. You watched, spent, as he searched for his shirt in the dark, the hallway light dimly illuminating the room. For a second, you were scared that he was just going to go back to his own room, but after he found the shirt, he came back to your side. Wordlessly, he wiped you clean, even wiping at the beads of sweat that accumulated on your skin.

Tired, he let himself collapse beside you, pulling you against his chest.

“Did you mean it?” you asked in a small voice.

“Hmm?”

“When… When you said you loved me.”

You felt him tense under you for a second before relaxing. His arms held you tighter against his chest, letting you listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“Yeah.” He paused, the cogs in his brain turning as he searched for the right words to say. Nothing he came up with seemed right; he opted to stay silent and waited for your response. When it didn’t come, he looked down at you, only to be met with your sleeping face. He sighed, his breath shaky as his eyes burned. He pressed a single kiss on the crown of your head. “Good night, sweets.”

THREE HOURS.

Chaewon had been spamming your phone, the distinct buzzing of each message waking you up. Jake slept through the sound of you typing, exhausted from the night before.

Where are you???? Get your ass here NOW before I come and get you myself

Are you even awake? 

Girl, if you’re not here in the next hour I’ll punt you into the next century

Swearing, you carefully slipped out of Jake’s grasp. When he didn’t stir, you shook him gently. He mumbled incoherently, wrapping his arms around your middle as he deeply inhaled your scent. “Jake, we gotta’ wake up now. Chaewon’s having a cow and I don’t think we want to upset the bride today.”

At your words, Jake murmured something you couldn’t hear before finally peeling himself off you, looking at you with sleepy eyes and messy hair. “Wha’ time isit?” he slurred, stretching his arm.

“It’s twelve, so we have to go. Like, now.”

Thankfully, that seemed to wake Jake up, and he sat up quickly. “Damn, okay,” he pushed his hair back. “Get changed and everything, and I’ll meet you at the door.”

You watched as he leaped off the bed, picking up his soiled clothes from the floor. He made his way to his own room, and you heard the shower turn on. In the time it took for you to brush your teeth and get changed, Jake had showered and hastily shoved on some comfy clothes, his attire being left with Heeseung as well.

The drive to the hotel where the bridal and groom's parties were getting ready was quiet, partially from sleepiness and partially because of the unfinished conversation from last night, filling the air with thick tension. His hand rested on the middle console, palm up, but you didn’t take it.

When you got to the hotel, you were quickly ushered to your respective rooms by other bridesmaids and groomsmen. Jake could only watch as you disappeared behind a room door before getting shoved into one himself.

He didn’t see you again until later, when the wedding was about to start, and the pairs were meant to walk down the aisle. Since you were Chaewon’s maid of honour and Jake was Heeseung’s best man, you were paired together. When you finally saw him, you felt the air leave your lungs. His hair was styled so it was out of his face, save for a few strands that hooked over his forehead. His suit was entirely dark blue, from his blazer to his tie, and it made him look unfairly handsome.

Your mouth felt dry as you linked arms with him, listening for your cue to walk.

Unbeknownst to you, he felt similar. You looked stunning in your baby blue satin dress, and he thought it hugged your curves in such a way that he almost wanted to cover you up so only he could see you like this. His heart pounded in his chest at your touch. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispered as you waited, making the couples behind you snicker. You blushed, your face warming as you rubbed your lips together anxiously.

“As do you,” you mumbled, looking into his eyes shyly. “You look really good.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but the doors opened up, and that was your cue. The venue was gorgeous, as expected since Chaewon planned most of it. The sight of the aisle and the altar made your heart soar for her, and you absentmindedly rubbed at your own ring finger the closer you and Jake got to the end of the aisle.

You sent him a smile before you retreated to your respective spots. As the rest of the couples and the flower girl made their way down the aisle, you couldn’t help but keep your eyes on Jake. You wondered how you looked, staring over at the best man when there were so many things you should’ve been paying attention to.

Clearing your throat, you looked forward.

When you finally saw Heeseung, your heart clenched. You fisted the fabric of your dress as you watched him wait for his bride-to-be. This motion didn’t go unseen by Jake, whose jaw clenched.

When Chaewon appeared from behind the door, the room erupted into cheers as everyone stood. Tears sprang to your eyes as you watched your cousin, veiled, take small steps closer to her future husband. You knew your makeup was going to be ruined by the end of the night, but you couldn’t help but cry once she reached Heeseung. You glanced at him once more before staring down at your heeled feet.

The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch, Chaewon and Heeseung’s beautiful vows leaving everyone in tears. You had even caught Jake wiping away some stray tears. You watched with a sense of longing as Chaewon and Heeseung made their way down the aisle. You didn’t realize that Jake had been staring at you the whole time, not even when it was your turn to walk out.

The banquet was to start half an hour later. You and Jake had gotten separated in the commotion outside of the venue hall. You heard him call out to you, but you couldn’t see him over the large, bustling crowd of wedding guests. Knowing that you’d see him at the banquet, you slipped further into the crowd until you found a balcony. Peaking your head out, you let out a breath of relief when there was no one there.

The sun was setting, casting an orange hue over everything it touched. A beautiful sight, you thought as you leaned against the railing. You closed your eyes as you thought back on the wedding. It had been the exact wedding the Chaewon had planned years ago, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to be truly happy. How could you, after all, after watching Heeseung look at Chaewon with such love and adoration? 

When someone called your name, you turned around to see Jake standing there, slightly unkempt from the crowd. “I finally found you,” he heaved, gesturing back to the hall that was still full of busy wedding goers. “Man, the banquet is literally in the room over from the wedding hall—they couldn’t be a little more patient in moving over?” He shook his head in mock disbelief as he joined you.

He looked at you, ready to make a joke, but paused when he saw your face. His smile dropped as he turned to face you fully. “You’re crying,” he noted, cupping your cheek. You blinked in surprise, having not noticed how tears had welled up in your eyes. “What’s wrong, sweets?”

You turned around, pulling your face out of his grasp, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I don’t know,” you murmured, voice breaking. “I just… when I saw them—”

“Is it Heeseung?”

His cold, clipped tone shocked you. When you looked at him in confusion, his expression had hardened. “What—”

“Why does seeing him with her still hurt you? I thought you were fine,” his words were level, but you heard the slight tremble of his voice.”You said you moved on.” 

Sputtering, you turned to him with an indignant glare. “Jake, it’s not that easy—”

Scoffing, he took a step back from you. “So what? The last two weeks meant nothing to you? Last night meant nothing to you? I…” He gripped at his hair, stressed. “I told you I loved you, and you’re still crying over Heeseung?”

It dawned on you how he perceived your words, and an unsettling fear grabbed at you as you went to explain yourself. “What? Jake, no, I’m not—”

He gave you no room to speak, interrupting you hastily, words tumbling from his lips as though he had no control of them. “I have always loved you,” he confessed, voice breaking. “Ever since we were kids, for me, it’s always been you. I came to you because I love you. I spent these last two weeks with you because I love you, and I want nothing more than for you to see me as more than a best friend or… or someone who’s convenient for you.” You watched in horror as his eyes watered, stepping forward to grab his arm to explain, but he ripped his arm away from your grasp. “I can see now that you never will.”

“Jake, wait—!” Your cry fell on empty ears as he turned to leave you alone on the balcony, his back feeling unreachable as he reached for the doorknob to go back inside. At this point, the crowd in the hall had dispersed, and you were sure the banquet was starting. But none of that mattered—what mattered was stopping Jake from leaving before you could tell him the truth.

Swallowing your fears, you called out his full name. You sighed in relief when he paused, but your hands shook at your sides as you forced your next words out. “He made me feel like I was unlovable,” you uttered, voice just barely above a whisper. For a second, you were worried he hadn’t heard you, but he turned his head slightly. Finding the courage to continue, you stepped forward. “I’m not… I don’t love Heeseung, Jake. I haven’t loved Heeseung for a really fucking long time.”

But what happened between us gave me all of these terrible thoughts that I didn’t…. That I don’t know how to handle. I thought I was perfectly fine dealing with my insecurities on my own before you came.” He turn his head more, allowing you to see his profile. You saw him open his mouth, ready to retort, but you narrowed your eyes at him. “Sim Jaeyun, if you interrupt me again, I’ll kick your ass.” Your threat wasn’t all that threatening, considering the fact that you were near to tears, but he listened and shut his mouth.

“When you showed up at my apartment, I thought I was going mad. You made me feel like that. It was suddenly so different between us and I didn’t know what to do. You kept saying these things like you were trying to fluster me, and I couldn’t tell if you were being genuine or if my fucked up mind was just creating scenarios where you might actually love me.” Tears were freely falling now, smudging your eye makeup and leaving its trail in your foundation. You stepped closer to Jake, who had fully turned to face you. You stopped, leaving a few meters between you as if you were scared of crossing an invisible boundary.

“Last night was the best night of my life. And every time before that, you made me feel complete and made me so happy, Jake. You made me feel… normal. It felt like I was myself again for the first time in months, but there was something else there, too.” You looked into his eyes, unable to tell what he was thinking. You swallowed thickly, “I don’t love Heeseung, and you’re a fool if you think I do. But it’s so fucking hard to shake off the feeling that at any point you could find someone better, someone who’s prettier, or—”

Jake was quick to close the distance between you, his lips downturned into a scowl as he glowered at you. “Just shut up already,” he spat, cupping your face in his hands and bringing his lips to yours. You felt a thousand times lighter as you kissed him back with the same fervour as him, your tears mixing into the kiss. He dropped a hand to rest on your hip, bringing you flush against him. Once he pulled away, you were both breathless. He rested his forehead against yours as his shoulders rose and fell quickly.

When he finally opened his eyes, gone was the pain and hurt. Now, when he looked at you, he looked with adoring eyes. “I love you,” he whispered. “You might not believe me yet, but just know that whenever I look at you, all I see is the person I want to spend my life with. There isn’t anyone better or prettier—there’s only you.”

He met your eyes before kissing you again. 

You looked into his eyes once you pulled away, a thousand thoughts swirling behind your irises. “I love you,” you breathed out. You reached for his hand, interlocking your fingers together as you smiled tearfully at him. “Help me believe you.”

Jake laughed in disbelief, bringing you close to his chest.

“We have all the time in the world to get there, sweets.”

©WONLOVIE please do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or copy any of my works.

[alastors-antlers]

a brief take on the whole "Alastor's smile is permanent" discussion

hello all!

I've seen a lot of people theorizing lately that Alastor actually smiles all the time because his smile is magically, physically fixed onto his face. All of this seems to come from the fact that he's practically grimacing rather than smiling during the scene where he breaks down in ep8:

As well as this frame of his deal with Charlie: (lower res sorry)

I will say, I do like some of the implications of this theory. The sheer spite of his creditor forcing him to smile as an addition to their deal, almost like a sort of forced silence, is a neat concept. It's fun and dramatic. Plus, of all things, of course Alastor would claim the "smile at all times" policy and make it his own to pretend that it was his decision all along lol.

To be fair, though, I don't think we even need any magical compulsion to explain why he's smiling while he's having a mental breakdown. Actually, if we assume magical compulsion, I think we lose a bit of dimension from Alastor's character. (No judgement to anyone's take though, of course -- I just think this works in the direction of his established characterization, but obviously all personal takes <3)

Hear me out:

Alastor's persona is not just for others to see.

"A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends; keeps your enemies guessing; and ensures that whatever comes your way, you're the one in control."

That makes sense given what we know about him. If he's always smiling, he seems like he has it together. You can't read him very well, especially not when he's actively trying to keep up appearances.

Now consider that when you think about ep8's fight with Heaven, we see that he's already been through so much in this one day.

He fights an army of angels, presumably not even at his own whim (if we go by his blurb about freedom in the Finale song); he loses to Adam, who he considers sloppy and mediocre; his staff, which we can assume holds some part of his power, is snapped; he comes close to being Angelic-power-killed; and to top it all off, he knows that others watched him get injured and then apparently die or flee, all of which would ruin the public image that he's trying to maintain. It wouldn't even be unreasonable for us to assume that he knows Vox was watching, given that Vox kind of has eyes everywhere.

In a moment like this, in the finale, you could say that Alastor has lost (at least on some level) everything that we know matters to him. He doesn't have access to all of his magic, and it's limiting him. He's reminded that he doesn't have freedom or control over his own destiny. He certainly has taken massive hits to his powerful, composed persona. But he's desperate, and furious, and terrified, and clinging on.

That's why he's smiling.

It's not that he can't stop because he physically can't. It's that he can't stop because to him, the smile is the last thing that is still within his power. When there are so many moving parts that he can't predict what happens to him next, he can control how he responds to it. In these last fragments of autonomy, there is solace.

He needs to keep telling himself that he has it together and that he'll eventually scheme his way free, that there's a solution, that he won't be in chains forever; because letting his pretense slip would be admitting that it's all starting to actually get to him. That maybe this time, he doesn't have an escape plan.

In addition, if you read his interactions throughout the series, we also see something else: Alastor's reputation is of paramount importance to him. At multiple points throughout the series, when others disrespect him by discounting his power or presence, he gets visibly annoyed. And in the battle, we see a glimpse of the part of his personality he seems to be trying to leave behind - a normal Alastor, who's just some guy from Louisiana. No transatlantic accent; no unflappable malice; no sharp wit waiting at the ready. Maybe even unremarkable.

Dropping his smile - arguably the most prominent part of his brand - would be admitting that in reality, he's not the Radio Demon of legend that he aspires to project. And if he doesn't have that... where would he be?

[theloveinc]

any hobie and/or miguel icks? 😟

whoever sent this: thank you + i ADORE you. i hope you don't mind i'm switching up the formatting/style a it in comparison to my older icks... shorter list, more detailed <3

(warning: some fem terms used at the end, such as “mama!”)

-

Miguel O'Hara

- This guy... has some long ass toenails. Type of toenails that poke you at night in bed, and tear holes in his socks.

It's maybe somewhat related to the claw thing he's got going on? Has a lot stronger and faster-growing nails than the average person... but the real problem here is that he's TERRIBLE about clipping them. Claims it doesn't bother him even remotely and that you're the one overreacting when you ask him to... but hardly anything gets through to him about it. You probably even offer to do it for him one day, thinking the offer of a foot massage would sway his thinking and that it'd actually work... but he fought you on that just as easy...!!!

...which is how you came to the conclusion that you have a man who'll even argue w/ you over toenails. Petty boy.

- Miguel is also tired 24/7. AND yeah, it's pretty hard to be un-sympathetic towards that, but he's tired in the... I'm-gonna-prioritize-this-one-last-email-over-saying-goodnight-to-you way. Which gets real irritating when you're asking him to help you out w/ anything, like cleaning up or answering a question or JUST HAVING A DAMN CONVERSATION W/ YOU and he's using "I'm tired" as an excuse when his response is shitty or distracted.

Like one of those stupid guys whose always squinting at their damn iPad when you ask what he wants for dinner... which is ironic given that he'll get snippy at you for not giving him your full, entire attention whenever he wants it. Type of man to start picking imaginary lint off your head when you're simply trying to finish up a text before engaging him so that you aren't distracted.

- Odd about Lyla. Not that he loves her or anything, but she'll like pop up to give him updates about whatever even if you're MID-MAKEOUT session and he won't change that setting. Pulling away from your lips all pouty and squinty only to glare at his watch for thirty seconds before trying to go right back into kissing you.

No. No sir.

(Lyla will also always say something to or-but-usually-and about you, which... Okay, she's an AI and doesn't Get It... but it's still weird because it feels like someone you don't know just walked into the room.)

- Picks his nose when he's too busy to find a tissue, and forgets to sanitize his hands after. Denies this when you tell him.. but you've witnessed this multiple times (he's weirdly kind of whiney for a dude and lazy for a workaholic LOL).

Hobie Brown

- Lovely boyfriend because he doesn't give a crap about your appearance or the idea of needing to "look nice" for a man... but also stupid, nuisance boyfriend because this means he doesn't give one hoot if you try to get all gussied up for him. Nags you about wasting time getting ready because he doesn't need you to do all that instead of just saying "THANK YOU, YOU LOOK NICE." Even probably complains about you feeding into gender stereotypes or w/e when you do something like shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows😭

You try to talk to him about this, ask if he even cares that you tried to look nice, and he skirts around admitting it because he has an argument for everything. "'oughta know I think you're pretty either way"-ass when you just spent an hour trying to look all good for him.

- Tries to share the most obscure music with you... which is like, sweet in concept, but weird when it actually happens since it's never like a generic love song but an eleven minute underground jam session.

Which isn't to say he has bad taste in music, usually it's fine if not fantastic... but you try to tell him you don't want to listen to some dude's first draft of himself banging on a drum set for a full album and he's like: "tsk."

HOBIE. TSK??? FUCKING TSK????????? WHAT ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE????????

(He'll also use his to get out of listening to your music. Claiming his "inconsistency" is why he liked your playlist yesterday but not today. Stop!!!)

- And you know I gotta say it, he's a punk, after all: absolutely refuses to clean his favorite leather jacket, and it smells RANK. He's genuinely sentimental about it, though... and if you even try to bring up cleaning it somehow (even if very gently), he's acting like you betrayed him. Goes through the five stages of grief over you asking him not to wear it on one of your dates, and teases you by TALKING to it:

"Mumma didn't mean that, jackie. She just doesn't understand our lifestyle, does she?" while giving you a (lighthearted) stink eye.

[orcelito]

ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior

one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35

[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.

Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]

Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.

& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.

Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.

for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.

leading to some of the next most iconic pages:

[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.

Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]

the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...

he'd know. i really think he knew.

but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.

Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).

overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.

(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)

[himegureisu]

Hiii! Just got home from a horrifying midterm exam. It went horrible, none of the questions were even in the lesson plan. Although it did give me an idea for this request :')

It's practically universal knowledge that Snape is a 'terror prof' (iykyk) at Hogwarts — his standards are high, he's very particular with essays and it's practically expected that every major exam, tears will be shed in and out the classroom with the amount of curveballs he throws at you.

(I'd feel like he'd be the type to have a True or False exam with choices like: True, Partially True, Partially False, False, and if none is applicable write the correct answer and all of it is situational)

He's married to the reader and they're both teachers, so they help each other on their loads. Much more efficient that way. One night after a particularly hard-hitting major exam in the semester, reader encounters tear stains and snot and a few drops of blood from a nosebleed on one of the exams (witnesses this once lol) and decided to confront him husband about it. Thank you! I hope this isn't too specific ;w;

Questions and Answers

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader

A/N: I'm sorry you had a horrible exam day and thank you for preventing me from pulling my hair out of frustration because my Notion page was not cooperating when this request came through. I hope you enjoy this! 💖

——————————— 🪄———————————

“Severus, darling, why do your exam papers have at least two different types of fluids on them?” your fingers flip through the unfinished stack, your eyes scanning them.

This was the thirty-fifth test paper from his pile that you graded. His second-year tests were stained by a range of substances you curiously identified through a spell.

Did he truly not notice them?

“There’s a combination of either snot, sweat, tears, or,” you paused, taking one of the papers you already graded, to present to him. His dark eyes highlighted by the round reading glasses made for a rather attractive sight but focus, “On the rare occasion, blood,”

“Oh,” he simply said, looking up at you, “And?”

“Is that all you can say?” you frustratedly run a hand through your forehead as you sit on the edge of his desk causing him to stop, “What are these questions even? It’s a major exam for second years, not OWLs or NEWTs, Severus. My head hurts not only from the answers but also the questions,”

“If they can’t answer then they’re not competent enough to proceed to the…” his sentence undone by the beginning of your ramble, an attempt to explain why his methods were not feasible.

“Can you imagine the physical, mental, and emotional drain that major exams cause to students? You can reminisce on your time as one if it helps but it’s not good and then to be brought to this level of inquiry as if they were taking a mastery,” you explained, “There isn’t even a 50-50 chance to get the answer right only 25 because you decided that it would be better if there would be four very similar but distinct answers to the multiple choice questions and not a chance of redemption for those who don’t know the question if the said answer is one they needed to correct. I can better understand your students’ frustrations from this version of your exams,”

“To adjust the exam would mean that there would be a lower level of understanding…”

“That’s the point though since they’re just building the foundation of what they know for potions!” you exclaimed, “If it were a muggle game, Severus, it should be easy, medium, and then hard but your exams are hard, hard, and then hard on every level. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but…”

“Sev, imagine this,” you sit on his lap, cupping his cheeks for him to focus on you as you say, “Imagine a child, our child, a little boy or girl coming home to us in tears because of a similar test that they’d taken on that day,”

“It would be different. They would be ours,” he grumbled, pulling you in closer to bask in your warmth, “We wouldn’t teach them to be like that,”

“Sev, just imagine!” you sighed exasperatedly, his face buried beneath your chin, “Your little girl coming home in tears crying for us wanting a hug because of an awful exam day,”

His breathing was in sync with yours, trying to understand your reasoning. His imagination slowly conjures a little girl in your image. Her face was stained with big fat crocodile tears, a snot-filled nose, and books slung defeatedly on her arm. His heart tightened at the image of it, protectiveness surging from within.

No one was allowed to make either of you cry.

“Can you imagine?” you softly asked, running a hand through his hair, as he mumbled, “Yes,”

“Can you change the way your tests are written?” you silently prayed that he would, he breathed in and faced you to answer, “Fine, and you’ll help me,”

“I expect as much,” you smiled.

As you were about to get off his lap, his arms quickly pulled you back and in doing so, caused the chair to stumble a bit from the force. His nose on your hair, breaths warm, and hug unwilling to let go.

“Sev?” you glance back to see his darkened gaze, “What is it?

“Do you want children?” he asked, it wasn’t something both of you discussed in depth before, “I realized that after four years of marriage, we didn’t elaborate on our expectations on that particular topic,”

“If we’re blessed with children, then I’m happy,” you informed, tracing the contours of his face. No matter how many times you’ve seen him it’s like there’s another new thing to catalog in your mind, “If not, then I’ll be happy having you all to myself,”

“I don’t know if I want children,” he admitted, and you kissed his cheek, “We’ll get there when we get there, Sev, for now, don’t think about it,”

[black-lake]

astro observations 3

Hi besties,

I'm doing another observation for ya ☺︎ I truly enjoy writing these so much. These ones are a little longer, because the aspects are complex.

Now this is the saturn post, so many saturn observations. 🪐

Highlights: taurus, moon, virgo, capricorn, gemini, aquarius, saturn, neptune, 12th house, 11th house, celebrity charts, earth placements.

------

🍁 Earth moons, especially taurus and virgo, have amazing taste in fashion and all material things. They can determine the quality of things by feeling it or just looking at it. They may have standards for what they buy. They are the type to go like "this thing will break in 3 months, do you really wanna waste your money?". Taurus moons may buy things frequently because they just like it. Virgo moons analyze the price and value and criticize the hell out of the store and owner too looool. They are on the look for the "perfect" thing, it needs to look and feel a certain way. Capricorns are chill with it, they be calculating their money? but they spoil themselves.

🍁 Earth moons are also really good at taking care of their belongings. Once they buy something they cherish it and keep it looking new for so long. They know how to clean and maintain what they have. Their clothes may look new and expensive even if they’re not. They take good care of their surroundings too, especially caps and virgos. 

🍁 Saturn conjuncting or positively aspecting an inner planet makes someone good with business. Especially aspects to sun, mercury and mars. Their investments work out and are long term. They learn how to make money quickly but are also patient with it. They just have a natural business mind. The types to own multiple businesses and maintain their success. 

🍁 Saturn aspects to neptune, especially squares/oppositions/conjunctions, feeling guilty whenever you dream, when you let yourself be hopeful for no reason, when you think of an ideal. Stopping yourself from fantasizing because it’s "unreal", because you wouldn’t do it, you don’t know how to do it, you haven’t done enough. These people don’t realize they have huge potential to make their dreams come true, especially if other aspects support it. Saturn here gives a hint of pessimism to your dreams, and wakes you to reality every time. Saturn here also allows you to have your dream after it took it away from you. Once they have learned how to work with both planets they can be very successful and looked up to. 

🍁 Craig Ferguson having Gemini mercury at 17° and a Scorpio moon? I see why this guy is flirtatiously sarcastically funny. He also has mars in Aries which adds to his quick wit and boldness. Even tho his humor can be dark and direct, the fire also makes it fun and lighthearted. His Libra ascendant, keeping it balanced and making his guests comfortable even when he says the most questionable things lol. His Leo MC at 5° adds to his charismatic personality like a cherry on top. His chart is too interesting fr.

I can do more celebrity analysis in the future?

🍁 I also imagined him having more earth in his chart, because of his authoritative and well respected persona? But he has none at all lol. Ik that a Leo MC can also give a strong persona and demands respect. Now there are aspects that answer the question. The harsher the aspects the more the person naturally demands respect because of the lessons they learned. His saturn opposite NN and MC, he had a difficult upbringing, especially with that Aquarius IC, ouch. Pluto opposite Chiron and Jupiter conjunct Chiron, wounds making him strong and wise. His Mars opposite Ascendant adds a layer of intimidation. 

🍁 You and your Aquarius or Gemini placements bestie, each texting about completely different topics, sending each other irrelevant weird sh*t, sending questionable memes, laughing at different things, answering in questionable times, never answering questions completely, yet you don’t question it at all, because in your mind you're embracing each other's uniqueness. how quirky 💀

🍁 I rarely meet Aquarius and Pisces suns and placements, even tho I want to analyze them badly, I rarely have a chance to interact with them. plz come to my life I want to judge your personality.. with admiration of course! (my virgo moon speaking). 👽 

🍁 People with saturn in the 4th house had a difficult upbringing and heavy responsibilities put on them early on, this shaped their personalities and perceptions, and made them want to work harder to break their families emotional trauma and find security. They want to heal their trauma affecting their sense of safety and security emotionally and financially. Saturn 4th in charts of Marilyn Monroe, Craig Ferguson, Harry Styles, Madonna, and Drake. 

🍁 The hardest saturn house placements imo, are saturn in 11th, 12th, 10th, 4th, 7th. If you have these I respect you so much buddy, truly, it's a nightmare. These are also karmic, don't mess with these people, or you're inevitably meant to mess with them? because it's the way to get your karma and for your ass to learn a lesson. The universe works through them and they get the lovely pain in return loool. No fr they get so much power in return, they're protected heavily and are blessed with so much in life, they just wait longer for bigger blessings. Ily all.

🍁 Now if you have saturn in the 11th, or 11th house cusp, chances are you feel left out, you feel alienated, you hate socializing and hate strongly desiring it. Your friends betray you so easily it's insane. People give you weird looks. Your classmates, coworkers, avoiding you, it's your power, it's karma scaring them. People avoid doing you wrong but fall for the trap before they know it, they are hit hard with karma. They see what they reject in themselves in you, their hopes and dreams, their self expression, true unfiltered selves. People who don't know how to stand out and are people pleasers hate you the most. You are a non conformist, and like your alone time. You leave as fast as you enter someone's life, you become a mystery.

🍁 With this placement, your friends are not meant to be long term, only few will. Better friends will come as you mature and become older. Saturn makes it clear to you who has your best intentions at heart and who doesn’t, or tests you to see if you learned from experiences on how to detach from toxic people and be yourself no matter what. You will be blessed with amazing people and communities that understand you and embrace your individuality, the path to this isn’t easy, but hold on. 

🍁 Saturn 11th can pick up on negative energies, places and fake people. They don't even have to say or do anything their presence solely is triggering those places and people and bringing on change. They change people's lives and their own like a lightning bolt. They are activists online and they start threads and campaigns to wake people up and bring on some change. These people can have a strong presence online. 

🍁 The og terrible nightmare is saturn in the 12th (yay I have it). Bonus points if saturn is harshly aspected, or touches neptune. I wanted to do a whole post or even article about this placement. It's intriguing. I stop to think a lot whenever I see it in a chart, especially of powerful people which is often the case, but I don't understand it fully! I'm always shocked to see it in people's charts, it's very subtle and mysterious, it manifests in different ways, you can’t tell until you really see it play out. This is one of the most powerful placements saturn can be in.

🍁 Now saturn 12th differs depending on whether it’s closer to the 11th or the 1st house cusp. If it's closer to the 1st house it plays out in one's self expression and self assertion when it comes to their lives, so this area is challenged for them. If it's closer to the 11th it, it plays out in themes relating to groups, people, connections, dreams, expressions, the collective.. etc. The 11th and 12th both rule the collective consciousness, uranus and neptune, and in this case saturn is also at play, woah, this is what makes this a triple power placement. Individuals that have it closer to the 11th house likely experienced the effect of saturn on both houses. They were, hated, alienated, people tried to take their power, people saw them as an enemy or a threat, people wanted to harm them, didn't want them to believe in themselves, they struggle to assert their power, but they are meant to.

🍁 Saturn 12th is also very similar to the 11th when it comes to giving people karma and showing them their place without doing anything, but it's more powerful, it plays out subconsciously and for longer periods. Now I'm talking, manifesting as diseases, mental issues, suicidal thoughts, severe accidents, even death. Manipulators, cheaters, liars, people with bad intentions, jealous people, those who manipulate their power whether through resources and money or fame and dark shady stuff, all gravitate towards you, ik it's horrible lol. I'm so sorry you're a magnet for bad people. They want to control you and manipulate you. You have to be careful with this placement to not trust people, but you already don’t trust no one lol.

🍁 Saturn 12th forces you to face your shadow self head on, dealing with depression, negative thoughts, sorrow, low energies, bad habits, taking your subconscious seriously. It is likely that at a young age they didn't understand their subconscious patterns, mental health issues started surfacing for them as teenagers, they had a hard time understanding their mind. You feel extreme loneliness, very likely only children? being removed from everyone else even if you need people. Forced to do everything alone. Feeling like you have to deal with everything alone. Feeling like you will never be understood. These people wished to disappear from earth so many times. ☹︎ Dealing with people's shadows and forcing them to face it. Mirroring back energies. You are heavily protected so fear nothing!

🍁 Now what gives these individuals this much power? It's everything I have mentioned above. This applies especially if saturn is closer to the 11th. These people have gone through the depth of their emotions and thoughts, they drowned in them. They faced harsh realities about themselves and others. They've understood so much about their own triggers and limits. They have destroyed and rebuilt their subconscious with a stronger foundation. Now they have access to the collectives subconscious, they have power over it, they can rule people or even manipulate them. They have a strong effect on their surroundings. They take on positions of power easily. They destroy limits and rules and build newer ones just like they did with their minds. They can be as toxic as the people they dealt with, or can cause amazing changes in their environments and be remembered for changing the world. 

🍁 Saturn 12th being prominent in charts of individuals that are/were presidents, politicians, musicians, and activists. Examples with saturn in the 12th being close to the 11th cusp or in the cusp, Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, George Washington, Donald Trump (in the 11th closer to the 12th), George W. Bush, Beyoncé, Zayn Malik, SZA, Will Smith (exactly on the cusp), Matthew McConaughey (on the cusp), Whitney Houston. I can name so many others. 

🍁 Worthy to mention that many of the themes mentioned about saturn can also apply to pluto in the 12th, 11th and 10th, but in a different way. I can do a whole different post about that.

🍁 So much of this is my own experience and the people I know. Please let me know if you have experienced any of these observations, especially with saturn aspects and houses. I'd love to hear and learn more about it. 

[howdoyousleep3]

"Use your words."

Daddy James to Stevie Baby who is being a brat (as per usual) 😈

got real carried away with this one, a lot of ball talk lol, but i've missed the fuck out of them and we deserve this so 💅🏻 also! daddy's pov! that's fun.

word count: 1.7 K notable tags: daddy kink, manhandling, slapping, orgasm denial, blowjob, dirty talk, subspace, multiple orgasms, come marking, nipple play, cockwarming

Steve is in rare form tonight.

When they play like this, when they get wrapped up in one another to the point where the rest of the world and the present warps away, Steve tends to stay in his head. No matter what James puts him and his beautiful body through, Steve remains tethered to the present.

But times like these, times where Steve sinks under and slips from his head, are so few and far between.

And James is fucking feral for it.

They’ve been at it for hours and Steve is still hungry, still eager. James has put his baby through the ringer, made him work and grovel and damn near embarrass himself for what he’s wanted, for what James has wanted. James knows he’ll have to be the one to call it; Steve would run himself into the ground for James.

Sweet boy.

He deserves the fucking world, deserves the sun and the moon and all the disgustingly sweet coffee drinks he can stomach.

Steve deserves whatever the fuck he wants after tonight.

James smacks his heavy cock down onto Steve’s tongue from where he kneels in front of him on the couch, spit flinging from Steve’s open mouth. He moans when James does it again, so noisy. He has been all evening. The noises have flown from his mouth like water, without thought and with desperation. James doesn’t think Steve knows just how loud he’s been, how reactive and how needy he sounds.

It's music to James’ ears.

“How d’you want it?” James rasps, eyes locked onto where Steve loosely suckles at the tip of his cock, slurping and moaning around it as if it’s the best thing his baby’s ever put in his mouth.

“Wan’it,” is all Steve moans, taking more of James into his mouth, spit slipping distractedly down his chin. James can’t help but touch it, transfixed by it. He smears it with his fingers, presses it into the skin of Steve’s jaw, his cheek, goes back for more to spread it around.

It seems he’ll need to be more specific in order to get an answer out of Steve. He tugs at Steve’s hair anyway, gives it a good, sharp yank in an attempt to bring him back from the brink of…

Well, maybe it’s a hopeless situation. Steve is far passed any sort of brink.

“Baby—listen,” he murmurs, smacking at Steve’s cheek rather harshly. “How do you want your Daddy’s come?”

It’s a more specific question, but it’s also a question that sends Steve further under. He whines, the nasally noise turning into a throaty groan as he leans forward on his knees, hands reaching for more of James’ cock. They’re past the point of rules, time and effort and energy leaving them drained and aching, so James doesn’t reprimand Steve for using his hands. He quite likes the feel of Steve fumbling with him in a frenzy, of the added tightness of his fists.

He kicks his hips up into Steve’s grip, his cock up into Steve’s hot mouth.

Fuck, he’s never getting an answer out of his boy.

“Use your fuckin’ words, Steven,” he bites out, laying his hands casually beside him on the couch, slowly losing his patience with the situation before him. Not at Steve, rarely does he genuinely lose his patience with his boy. But he’s ready to come again, is ready to pull Steve back from the depths of his mind, to cradle this sweetness he never so willingly gets to witness.

When Steve whines around a mouthful, when James feels that whine in his balls, he decides one more time.

He reaches for his cock with one hand and Steve’s hair with the other.

“How do you,” James says clearly and slowly, eyes locked with Steve’s glazed ones as he fists his weeping cock in front of Steve’s open mouth. “Want your Daddy’s come?”

Steve slurs out his answer, tilting his head back in an obvious attempt to tighten the hold on his hair, “In my pussy.”

James’ core burns.

“You already got it in that sweet pussy’a yours,” James reminds him, voice as thick as his swelling cock. “Remember? Fucked it into to you an hour ago. Bet it’s still in there, makin’ you all messy. Why don’t you—”

“Fine,” Steve huffs, snaps, and James barely resists the urge to put Steve’s dick under the heel of his dress shoe. “Then come on in.”

The words are slow out of Steve’s mouth, sinful and filthy. Even six feet under the drunken fog of sex Steve knows he’s got his Daddy right where he wants him with that request.

“Come on my pussy, Daddy.”

James doesn’t even need time to come. His fist flies over his cock, his heavy load in his balls at the ready. It’s always ready for Steve, always hot for whenever his boy wants it.

“Then fuckin’ show me, you show me exactly where you want it,” James purrs, lip curling as he watches Steve turn around on his knees eagerly and gracefully. He’s always so goddamn graceful when it comes to sex, eroticism layered in his body and pure existence. It’s why he enjoys being watched so much, why he gets off on eyes on him. Steve is sex.

When he bends at that sinful waist, when his cheek hits the floor and he arches his back, James’ groan is thunderous.

He’ll never tire of this sight, of Steven’s hole, of right where his perfect body works to let his Daddy inside. The proof is right there, right in front of James’ eyes. His pink pussy is slick with his Daddy’s first load, his rim puffy, his hole used, just as it should be. His balls sit prettily between his spread thighs, heavy with the load James has denied him of.

James sucks on his teeth to stop himself from losing focus and leaning down to suck them into his mouth one by one.

Steve’s ass always looks fuckable, the jiggle and fat of his cheeks tempting James every minute of every goddamn day, but there’s nothing compared to the sight that lays before him. And when Steve whines, when he leans his hips back and bounces his ass as if James needs a reminder of his request, James slips to the floor on his knees.   

He can’t resist, just a little—

He can feel Steve’s gluttonous groan in his own balls as he slips the fat tip of his cock into Steve’s ass, continuing to stroke himself off. He pulls his hips back, pushes it back in, does it again. And again.

“Fuck, I’ll never get tired’a this. Get back here, get your hands back here. Show me—”  

Words tumble from James’ mouth as if he knows what they mean, as if he coherent enough to form demands. But God bless him, Steve knows. With a long whine he brings his hands back to his ass, to each cheek, spreading himself wide before smacking his hands over his own ass, shaking at the handfuls he grabs for.

The feeling of Steve’s ass shaking around his cock nearly makes James see stars.

“Fuck yeah.”

Steve smacks at his ass again, pressing his cheeks together and smushing his ass all around the tip of James’ cock.

“Daddy…come on my pussy, Daddy.”

James’ orgasm rushes through him, builds so quickly he shouts at the intensity of it. He barely has time to pull his cock free from the grip of Steve’s ass before the first hot spurt of come is shooting from his tip. Fucking hell.

Steve moans as if it’s his own orgasm, as if it’s his own set of balls emptying out. Or maybe he moans at the feel of it, at the sensation of his Daddy’s come dirtying him up, running down his taint and dragging down his sac. Or maybe, James thinks, maybe it’s Steve’s feral desire to be claimed in such a primal way, to be so subservient he’s more than willing to accept his Daddy’s come on his body instead of inside.

When James’ climax is complete, when he’s pulled everything he has from himself, he presses the head of his cock back into Steve’s pussy.

James damn near shouts again when Steve immediately clenches down around him, needy and absolutely desperate for more.

“Can never give you enough, always want fuckin’ more,” he huffs out with amusement feigned as annoyance as he watches Steve’s hole pulse and try to suck him further into his greedy body. Unbelievable. He reaches for Steve’s shoulders, pulling him up off the floor and sliding his dick further into Steve’s pussy. Steve’s heavy gasp makes his cock twitch inside of his boy’s body. Also unbelievable.

His hands slip to Steve’s tits, squeezing and pinching as he digs his teeth into the side of Steve’s neck. His hips meet the curve of his luscious ass and even Steve’s moan sounds slurred, James pressing in tight. It’s not impossible, a third orgasm, but it’s off the table for the night. James wants other things from his baby.

That doesn’t stop Steve from trying though, the bastard continuing to milk James dry.

“Come sit on my dick while it goes soft,” James whispers into Steve’s ear, fingers unable to resist the urge to pluck at Steve’s pretty nipples. He doesn’t give Steve the chance to argue or respond, easily pulling them both backwards and up to the couch, Steve in his lap. James can feel the come on his body, the way it bleeds into the fabric of his dress pants. He loves it.

“Never soft for me,” Steve manages to argue anyway, his head lolling back onto James’ shoulder. His fingers go back to pinching at Steven’s nipples, rubbing at them as Steve presses his chest into his Daddy’s touch. The noises he gets are soft, delicate almost, always are when he plays with Steve’s tits. James looks down the line of Steve’s body and sees his dick, angry and leaking, and if he’s not careful Steve could come like this, his Daddy’s hands on his tits.

“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckles, knowing damn well Steve is right. He skates his hands up and down Steve’s entire torso, pinching the tip of Steve’s dick, relishing in the whimper and twitch Steve gives him.

“Whatever you say, kitten.”

[sugar-omi]

Imagine mc giving birth to their baby. You know, Cove is probably panicking, Baxter pretending he's okay but at some point faints and our brave Derek letting mc crush his hand with theirs lol

And also I've seen a clip of a dude who just witnessed his wife deliver their baby and, with a face full of horror, he told her, "I am SO sorry, I won't do that again. " 🤣😭

I'm just imagining one of the boys saying something like that, in my head it's so funny

omg i almost missed this!!! im so glad you brought this up bc i love thinking abt how the boys are during delivery, especially cove omg (im sorry this is such a ramble... but also not sorry bc my brain worms are dancing in happiness at these thoughts)

cove:

even though you've had months to prepare for this and cliff n kyra has given cove lots of advice, paired with a lot of "don't freak out!" (sometimes followed by something freaky that happens during pregnancy or labor...)

he's prepared for this though. as prepared as an anxious first time dad can be. i mightta said this before, but whether you have him in the room the whole time or just to come cut the cord and hold the baby, is up to you.

if you have him in the room he'll let you hold his hand and he'll be holding yours back (he doesn't notice the pain of your grip for the longest...)

he definitely does what you mentioned and apologizes for putting you thru this LOL

after you give birth, he will do everything... he'll change diapers, put them down for naps, burp, wash, everything... because after that he needs to even the balance (if it was up to him, you'd never lift a finger after that, especially if you have multiple kids via birth)

HE'S ALSO OVERLY PREPARED

delivery bag? more like BAGS. mans has double of everything, he's PETRIFIED

also he runs to any place you want and buys you food while you're in labor if it's really long

and he stays with you up until its go time, then if you want him to wait outside he will

also he faints... or at least gets weak

if you have a c-section he's alrdy freaked out bc... omg they're taking a knife to you thats scary shit

but just natural birth? he's doubly freaked out because your body can do THAT??? you're literally pushing out a whole baby and he is awed but losing his shit honestly

would be babbling praises and encouragements (both for you and himself) n you can tell him to shut up its okay bc he's gonna laugh in the end anyway, but he'll probably end up going quiet bc he's trying not to be distracting and he probably saw something he wasn't prepared for 😬

probably starts crying the closer your baby gets to being out the womb, n after they're fully out and here he's bawling and just realized it but also he's trying to comfort n check on you first so you end up laughing bc he's fretting over you as if he isnt flooding the room

baxter:

mans is NOT CALM

tries to look calm, but he just looks constipated and he looks tired honestly

he's been losing sleep this whole pregnancy bc he's afraid of being a bad father, but he's so excited and ends up staying up at night talking to your belly so he just can't win

surprisingly dropped the collared shirts and slacks

mans is stuck in t-shirts and sweatpants or jeans

his hair is a mess too

omg he's napping when you go into labor

he jumps up, mismatched socks (either he's wearing an ankle cat print sock and a knee high sock, or he's wearing one sock. its bad n i think him wearing one sock is better (worse for him but hes fineeee))

the nurses love him bc he's running in and out bringing you food and runs back to get anything he or you forgot or might need

another over packer

honestly they're all over packers who are we kidding

this is where is wedding planner job comes in handy

has backups and plan b's for everything

and even though everything is right he brings extra just to feel better

won't be in the room if you want that ofc, but he psychs himself up to be in there

he's really scared n nervous, more-so than cove actually. but he wants to support you and if you want him in there, he's there. even if you reassure him he doesn't have to be there, he wants to be

he has to sit down while he's there, his leg is shaking and he's torn between watching whatevers going on over there and watching your face for any signs which.. doesnt really make sense since labor isnt like going to the waterpark but he has a kind heart <33

spends so much time looking at the baby... cove does too but baxter spends double that time

watches the nurses and doctors like a hawk whenever they mess w the baby

will curl up next to your bed and thanks you so much for giving him such a beautiful life, this is all stuff he never thought he'd have and he's so happy

derek:

he's actually the calmest one

he has 2 siblings and even though he was young when they were born, he has lots of experience with babies and he prepared

isn't that bad of an over packer actually, just extra baby stuff and some of the best snacks

but he'll still surprise you with your favorite food or takeout

he will do anything for you during labor, remind him to just sit down and hold your hand n stfu, thats what nurses n doctors are for n he really can't help much atp, its all up to you and the nurses+doc

holds your hand even though you might be hurting him. will just wince thru it or convince you to switch hands

will keep giving encouragement and either times it perfectly so he doesn't get on your nerves or you have to kindly ask him to shut up bc you're not playing ball, it isnt helping!!!!

also pulls a cove and does a lot of the work around the house and with the baby bc that was tough work, labor and carrying the baby? you deserve it!!!

ends up talking n holding the baby a lot, is probably a little scared since theyre so little and just holds their hand or looks at them

you sometimes wake up to him mumbling stuff to the baby, abt how happy he is, how he's going to take care of you both, how much he loves them...

carries everything outta the hospital by himself (by everything he means your hand and the baby, his family is probably dragging your stuff to the car bc they're here to help n make your life a million times easier and its literally a sleepover with nico around)

anyway. i need more dad!derek hc's now, specifically uncle nico and jorge, bc that is such a big brain thought

now this applies to all the boys honestly, i didnt even think abt it until now

but he helps you walk to the bathroom and put on all the pads n underwear n stuff if you need it

i remember seeing a youtube short where the woman said her fiance or husband helped her walk to the bathroom, spray her coochie w the water spray bottle, and with the underwear stuff

so don't worry about how you look or if it's icky because you're all sore and/or stitched up or anything like that because he's not paying attention, he just wants to help you in any way possible

[squeakintothevoid]

Exmormon thoughts on the Book of Mormon Musical:

The whole thing was spectacularly irreverent

*does some googling* oh its written by the creators of south park, that makes sense

The bright and cheery forced smiles of the missionaries are accurate

The set is amazing, with it looking like an lds temple and everything. The backdrop with the clouds and the planets even looks like the giant murals they have in the temple visitors centers

I love the salt lake city backdrop with the mormon temple right in the middle surrounded by the more obvious corporations like McDonald's and stuff. Did you know the LDS church owns a mall in the same city? It even has a little river going through it

The spooky mormon hell dream sequence was the best thing i've ever witnessed. Especially as somebody who really did get guilt-fueled nightmares, albeit not as theatrical and hellish lol

Seeing the cups of coffee dancing in hell alongside Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler was the best, my favorite moment

The song about turning off your uncomfortable/unapproved thoughts was also amazing. The actual phrase commonly used is putting the thought "on your shelf" to set it aside to think about later. There's literally a song they teach to toddlers about never frowning because nobody likes it and making yourself smile instead.

Hearing people crack up about things you used to believe sucks but finally you are surrounded by people who agree that this is ridiculous rather than people who think you are the crazy one for doubting

Mormons don't actually think Jesus was blond but they do think he visited America and most of the art makes him look northern European

Mormons don't really believe in a traditional hell or that Jesus hates you for sinning, but the level of guilt is still the same. Like that might as well be the case because your eternal afterlife is still at stake.

The "I Am Africa" song is so on point. Missionaries go to a foreign country and really do start wearing their traditional clothes and keep speaking the language even after coming home as if they really are part of the culture now

I was not expecting to see punk rock Darth Vader or Yoda or lieutenant Uhura or Sam and Frodo.

When Elder Price said "fuck," that was a blessed moment

I'm so glad I never actually went on a mission and could only relate so much. But that dedication to following all the rules in the missionary handbook is REAL and not even as intense as they portrayed it at times. The religious scrupulosity OCD is like no other. Like it's not unheard of for a missionary to keep working on their mission even if their mom or someone died while they were away.

There are still so many weird things about growing up mormon that they didn't even touch on. Like heaven being an MLM, multiple levels and everything.

Thanks for the read, feel free to ask any questions if you're curious because I like complaining about mormonism lol

[mazuriri]

4.6 update

I'm continuing my thread on Lyney x traveller since Lyney can’t stop showing his ‘feelings’ 👏 (and I write here because I've run out of space to put photos in the other thread).

＊ Arlecchino’s story quest :

During Arlecchino’s quest, it was predictable to come across Lyney and his siblings, along with the inevitable moments shared between the magician and the traveler. Their paths crossed right at the start of the quest in Poisson, with Lyney who calls them from a distance.

The introduction of Lyney x Traveler right from the beginning of the quest is just heartwarming. It's truly delightful to witness their joyous reunion after being apart for such a long time. One cannot help but notice Lyney's excitement as he spots the Traveler from a distance and eagerly call out to them, and the Traveler reciprocating the same gesture is simply heart-melting.

As a fan of this ship, these small actions hold great significance for me. The previous interactions between them have paved the way for a newfound sense of friendliness, which is beautifully exemplified by the Traveler's warm greeting "It's been too long." This reunion with Lyney marks a significant milestone in their relationship, showcasing the evolution of their bond.

The traveler's arrival never fails to ignite a spark of joy in Lyney. This has been demonstrated multiple times and it is remarkable how this simple encounter can instantly brighten his entire day. What is truly comforting is that Lyney doesn’t hide his enthusiasm, openly expressing his delight at their reunion in Poisson.

According to him, this encounter seem destined, as if fate itself has orchestrated them.

After Arlecchino proposed that the traveler should stay in Poisson for a while, she then requested Lyney to entertain the guests, to which Lyney willingly agreed, expressing that it had always been his dream to welcome the traveler into his home and introduce them to his siblings. While others may have different dreams, Lyney's dream was centered around introducing his family to the traveler, as family holds immense importance to him. He had previously expressed his desire to invite the traveler to his home, considering them as a part of his own family. Now, in this quest, his long-awaited dream has finally come true.

(Now his dream has come true, will he have a dream to ask the traveler in marriage lol?)

This guy meticulously explained his process in Poisson, only to discover that it presented an ideal opportunity to exhibit his culinary skills to the traveler. Of course, Lyney... Go above and beyond to leave an even greater impression, as if your magic tricks weren't already enough.

Also dear magician… Other people have something else to do than show their talent in cooking 🤨 (Maybe he wants to be a skilled husband who can cook for his beloved in the future LOL)

As Lyney prepared to hand over the supplies, Chapleau was rendered speechless and filled with astonishment upon coming face to face with the famous traveler and Paimon, whose names had been circulating extensively in discussions among everyone.

Throughout the encounter, Lyney appeared either irritated or nonchalant, emitting an aura of "Dude... there's no need to be so shocked" or "Hey, don't stare at my crush like that" (Could it be that he was feeling jealous? 🤨 There are various interpretations of his expression in that moment, but let's assume it's jealousy lol). He even cautioned him and the other children to refrain from potentially annoying or frightening the traveler and Paimon.

(Let’s not forget that he was the one who was excited to introduce his siblings to the traveler and look what face he makes lmao, he can’t be more obvious.)

The traveler has gained immense popularity, and it is all thanks to Arlecchino and Lyney. Both of them constantly talk about the traveler, and Lyney never misses a chance to mention them. Arlecchino, on the other hand, not only talks about the traveler but also brings up Lyney in her conversations. It is amusing to see how Arlecchino knows about the bond between her son and the traveler share. (I will come back later about Arlecchino's perspective on their relationship)

This has led to children being well-informed about the traveler, with Arlecchino and Lyney playing a significant role in spreading awareness about the traveler's presence.

You know what’s the funny part? The irony lies in the fact that Lyney previously mentioned the traveler's fame within the organization, which raises the question of who is truly responsible for their popularity. It is evident that the traveler's popularity is attributed to the detailed accounts provided by Lyney and Arlecchino, as confirmed by the children during their conversation (because they told so much about the traveler according to Foltz and Chapleau.)

Lyney my boy… there is no way to avoid the children because it is evident that you have been discussing the traveler's actions quite often. This is why they are so well-informed about the situation. Alrecchino also contributes to this knowledge by frequently mentioning Lyney and how the traveler has been of great assistance to them.

Following Freminet's disclosure regarding Clervie, Lyney opts to engage in a private discussion with him in a secluded corner to address familial matters. The traveler and Paimon detect the escalating tension between the two and grow apprehensive. Consequently, they make the decision to intervene in order to avert any potential conflict that may arise between Lyney and Freminet during their conversation.

Paimon emphasizes the bond of friendship among the group, highlighting the shared experiences they have already gone through. What made me smile throughout was that the Traveler immediately agreed with Paimon and didn't hesitate to help Lyney and Freminet. Unlike in the past, there is no trace of doubt or suspicion, they were ready to offer their assistance. As they say, sometimes guests can be useful and Lyney immediately understood what they meant.

The Traveler's bond with Lyney and their siblings has been solidified as one of friendship and care, leading them to offer their help despite the dangerous circumstances. Lyney, aware of the risks involved, attempted to dissuade the Traveler from getting involved, but his pleas fell on deaf ears as the Traveler remained steadfast in their decision to stand by their friends. They just couldn't abondon the siblings, and that's the traveler we all know.

Lyney finds himself at a loss for words, but he expresses his sincere gratitude to the traveler for their assistance once again. The traveler's willingness to help in such a situation deeply touches Lyney, and he is truly moved by their continuous support. The numerous times the traveler has come to Lyney's aid have left an indelible mark on his memory, and he feels an immense sense of gratitude towards them. Each action taken by the traveler holds a special place in Lyney's heart, as he genuinely cares about their well-being. Despite his initial concern for the traveler's safety and his desire to shield them from harm, Lyney understands that they are not easily swayed by his protective gestures. As I mentioned before, he really wanted to keep them out of it, but knowing them for a while now, Lyney already knows they wouldn't easily accept what he would propose.

It is in this moment that he utters the heartfelt words, "I'll protect you like my life depends on it." This statement reflects Lyney's unwavering commitment to safeguarding the traveler, even if it means putting his own life at risk. He is truly willing to protect them at all costs, even if it means putting his own life in danger. He only cares about his family, including the traveler since Lyney considers them family too. It may seem very sweet at first but if we delve deeper, Lyney's words reveals a profound level of care.

• Do you remember when Wriothesley 'kidnapped' Lynette, causing Lyney to panic as he was ready to give himself to Wriothesley in exchange for Lynette’s release. In Arlecchino’s quest, he became upset with Freminet for putting his own life in 'danger' with Clervie's situation. Although Lyney said that the others will be punished by Arlecchino, he was especially really worried about Freminet, showing genuine concern for him. Lyney's deep-rooted fear of losing his siblings is palpable, as he cherishes them dearly and is willing to go to great lengths to protect them, showcasing a touching and sad aspect of his character. We already know that this is not the first time that Lyney has acted in this way, we have already been aware for a long time that Lyney will not hesitate to put his life at risk for his siblings.

However, it remains unclear whether Lyney values his own life or not, but what is certain is that he is ready to sacrifice his life for his loved ones.

(Here for example, Lyney immediately threw himself to protect Lynette before Freminet blocked Arlecchino's attack.)

Personally, I have the urge to give him a wake-up call and remind him that his life holds just as much value, urging him to be cautious. This is the reason why Lynette became angry with him during this quest, and I can empathize with her. Let's be honest, Lyney's actions come off as self-centered : he chooses to deal with the situation 'alone' and doesn't want Lynette to know (same situation in Lynette hangout), but unfortunately, she was there the whole time and got angry at everyone, especially Freminet and Lyney. (I swear their siblings relationship makes me emotional)

———————————

Upon knowing the secret activities that had been occurring behind her back, Arlecchino resolved to take matters into her own hands. However, just as she was on the verge of initiating her plan, Lyney stepped in to intervene and prevent the situation from escalating further (with Freminet, Lynette and Chapleau). Regrettably, their efforts proved to be in vain. Nevertheless, Arlecchino decided to change tactics : they have to fight her.

Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet all agree to this, prompting the traveler to recall the consideration given to them by Arlecchino. Before the punishment, she had asked for a consideration from the traveler and had clearly stated that when the time comes, they must make the appropriate choice when the time comes. Now, that moment came at the time of the punishment of the members of the house.

The traveler carefully considers Arlecchino’s words and because they had made a promise to do so, they ultimately make the choice to support Lyney and the siblings by joining them in battle. It brought a smile to my face to see that the traveler had decided to fight alongside Lyney and the others, as they too didn’t want to witness the 'traitors' get killed, which is understandable. However, their motivation was also to assist Lyney and show respect for his decision. Lyney is also taken aback by the traveler's decision to join them, and I am confident that he will appreciate and acknowledge their actions.

✨ Extra :

I hadn’t mentioned it in my previous thread but I have now made the decision to address this topic and delve into Arlecchino's perspective on the traveler.

Lyney's trust in the traveler is a significant revelation, especially considering his usual guarded nature towards others. This newfound openness towards the traveler showcases a level of comfort and confidence that Lyney rarely displays with anyone else, making it a noteworthy point in their relationship.

The significance of Lyney's statement to Arlecchino, where he identifies the traveler as the person he trusts the most, cannot be understated. Arlecchino, being well-acquainted with her children, understands the weight of these words and the depth of trust that Lyney has placed in the traveler. This revelation sheds light on the unique bond between Lyney and the traveler, highlighting the exceptional level of trust that exists between them, a bond that transcends Lyney's usual reservations towards others.

In the house, each individual see themselves as “family”, prioritizing their connections over engaging with the outside world. Arlecchino emphasizes the significance of regarding a stranger as a family, highlighting the gravity of this notion. Moreover, it is important to acknowledge that they are fatui and opening up to other people outside the house is crucial. Arlecchino understands that the children, particularly Lyney, hold an affection for the traveler. Therefore, when she emphasizes the importance of the traveler valuing this friendship, she warns the traveler to take this friendship seriously, that they should not break this relationship or it could lead to unfavorable consequences.

Arlecchino, after careful consideration, decided to place her ‘trust’ in Lyney and the other siblings. She effectively conveys to the traveler the depth of friendship that exists between Lyney and his siblings, emphasizing its significance. The traveler, having witnessed this bond, is not only accepting of it but also respects and admires Lyney's relationship with his siblings.

They literally have the blessing from Arlecchino since she supports and respect them. With the 'Father' now endorsing the friendship her son shares with the traveler, and Lynette supports what her brother feels (she told the traveler to take care of him many times), Lyney is indeed fortunate to have the blessings and support of both his ‘Father’ and sister. So….

When is the marriage lol?

———————

That's all for this analysis, it was to be expected to have moments between Lyney and the traveler in Arlecchino's quest, I mean... it was OBLIGED. It is now evident that the Traveler considers Lyney and his siblings as genuine friends and is willing to assist them in any situation, despite their affiliation with the Fatui.

Speaking of which, Arlecchino expressed her intention to make Lyney the next 'King' of the house if he stays, to which Lyney reluctantly agrees. Throughout the conversation, the Traveler remained silent, not objecting at all, simply listening throughout the conversation. Despite the fact that the house is part of the Fatui, the Traveler respects Lyney's decision. The development between them is remarkable, and I am pleased to see the Traveler finally opening up to Lyney despite their past, always being there for him and his siblings. Their friendship is truly endearing, and that's why I love them. Everything they have overcome in the past is now ‘resolved’, and they are always happy to reunite.

Despite the focus being primarily on Arlecchino in her quest, Lyney and the others played a significant role, and their contributions were exceptional.

[vidavalor]

Bread: A Good Omens Sex Meta Thing

Let's talk Aziraphale and blasphemous sexual innuendo, shall we?

We are still going to talk about what the deal is with the Fish soon as promised but I wound up finishing this shorter one first. You do not have to have read my other metas to read this. NSFW under the cut.

What do *checks notes* Jesus Christ and Ella Fitzgerald have to do with Aziraphale's "get thee behind me, foul fiend" moment in 1.01... and how do they make it somehow even more delightfully filthy?

Probably as a result of putting on a show to sound angelic and demonic when speaking to one another in public, Crowley and Aziraphale seem to have a thing for using scripture, Bible references and/or Heavenly mandates as sexual innuendo.

It overlaps at times with their general love of wordplay and also their repeated use of destructive/apocalyptic terminology as sexual metaphor and innuendo, which is not unique to them but which they do a rather stellar job at. While all of these things are in multiple scenes and one of them-- the "seeds of destruction" scene in the car on the way to Tadfield-- is especially interesting and will be its own meta at some point soon, I'm not sure we've fully appreciated just how completely, gloriously obscene the "get thee behind me, foul fiend" moment in 1.01 is and that is largely what this meta is about.

In Good Omens, it's established in the 1.03 Cold Open that Satan himself didn't tempt Jesus Christ-- he sent Crowley to do it. While Crowley and Aziraphale witness the crucifixion of Christ, Crowley tells Aziraphale that he's the one who "showed him [Jesus] all the kingdoms of the world", which establishes that it's Crowley who tempted Jesus in the desert, in what would have been an attempt to claim Jesus' soul for Satan but which we can probably figure that Crowley wasn't particularly wild about, especially since he liked and admired Jesus. Spoiler alert for The Bible here lol but the story goes that Jesus rejected Satan, as you no doubt have heard. In Good Omens, this would then mean that Crowley failed to tempt Jesus, which he likely wasn't exactly heartbroken over.

Crowley appeared to tempt Jesus on three occasions and, throughout all of it, Jesus was fasting in the desert over 40 days and 40 nights. The first temptation was to turn stones into bread to relieve Jesus of his hunger. The second was to jump from a high cliff and rely on the angels to break his fall. The final temptation is the one that Crowley references to Aziraphale in the Golgotha scene-- to worship him in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world. Jesus rejected Crowley at every turn and so was spared from Satan claiming his soul in what is arguably one of the most famous stories that has ever been told in all of human history, right?

The way this relates to sexual innuendo in 1.01, though, is related to the first temptation of Christ, which was to try to get Jesus to alleviate his own self-imposed hunger. It was to try to get him to eat bread-- actual bread for actual hunger for food. In Ineffable Husbands Speak, though, bread is related to sex by way of it being euphemistic for participants in partnered sex. (See: Mrs. Sandwich, who arranges for different breads to come together; references to black bread, brioche, sourdough, etc..). In 1.01, when Aziraphale drops "get thee behind me, foul fiend" while inviting Crowley into the bookshop (and into him), they have just come from eating lunch and 'lunch' is also their word for a food kinky date that ends with sex, as we looked at in the Crepes post, which I'll link at the bottom of this post, for anyone who hasn't read it and is interested.

So, what we're saying here is that Jesus refused Crowley's offer of relief from hunger for food and we know from The Bible that, in rejecting the last of Crowley's attempts to tempt him with all the kingdoms of the world, Jesus said: "Get thee behind me, Satan" (all of Satan's ministers being referred to as "Satan" as they are-- theoretically, anyway-- of The Devil). Later in The Bible, it is noted that Jesus also repeats "get thee behind me" in an intentional reference to his temptation in the desert when admonishing Peter for being too concerned with "worldly" things and not things that Christ felt were "of God."

Aziraphale. Knows. All of this.

Not even just because it's one of the most famous bits of The Bible and because parts of what is retold in The Bible are things Aziraphale has lived through. Just to make it abundantly clear to us that Aziraphale knows the story and that it was Crowley in the desert, they gave us the 33 A.D. scene, in which Crowley directly tells Aziraphale that it was him who failed to tempt Jesus... which adds some layers to Aziraphale using "get thee behind me" in 1.01, no?

Aziraphale-- an angel-- is standing there in 1.01, intentionally saying to Crowley the same words that *Jesus Christ* used to reject Satan through rejecting Crowley's temptations-- and he's using those words of Christ to invite Crowley *to fuck him.*

After Jesus rejected the temptation of bread but Crowley and Aziraphale? They just went to out to eat...

Aziraphale is enthusiastically not resisting any temptations and satisfying all the hungers here lol. Which is the point--

--much like the "tempt you to a spot of lunch?"/"temptation accomplished" scene, they're joking about temptation.

Pleasures like food and sex are not a sin and Aziraphale happens to like having both of those things with Hell's most notorious tempter, whom they both know Aziraphale has wrapped around his finger. Aziraphale is not risking his soul to enjoy being with Crowley-- the stakes are not the same, nor are the temptations, as what Jesus faced-- which is Aziraphale's dirty joke. Aziraphale's partner is a tempter for Hell who takes pleasure in being with Aziraphale, an angel who rebels against the repression of Heaven and allows himself to enjoy the good things in life. Crowley and Aziraphale tempt each other as they find each other tempting, in the sense that they're attracted to each other, but they don't view alleviating hungers for food and sex with one another as truly sinful.

Crowley is loving every minute of it, of course. His sweet, kind, lovely, clever angel who is also just so very deliciously bad that he's using innuendo related to that poor bugger Jesus to talk to Crowley about what they want to get up to in bed. Aziraphale is all Jesus might have resisted you but I've no such inclinations.

That's profane lol.

You just know they've also had conversations about how hot Jesus was that included some smirky references to consumption of "the body of Christ" and a dry "amen."

There is another thing "get thee behind me" references as well-- something that I think is a sharper reference after S2 added in a connecting piece to it. Here's where Ella Fitzgerald begins to come into this...

In S2, during The Resurrectionist minisode, Crowley, at one point, quips to Aziraphale: "you say potato, I say 'excellent'", which is an example of one of Crowley's historical anachronisms. As we know, he sometimes says things outside of historic time and place and another musical example of this occurs in this same minisode, when he sings "O Flower of Scotland" before it was actually written. The "you say 'potato', I say 'excellent'" has the lyrical rhythm of the famous Gershwin song "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off." The phrases "you say potato" and "po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to" literally come from the lyrics of this song so Crowley's "you say 'potato'" in The Resurrectionist minisode is 110 years before the song was first written and performed in 1937.

The fact that this reference is happening in the scene in which Crowley has switched his accent to Scottish, causing him to pronounce things differently than Aziraphale, is also part of a joke that goes along with that song, which is a duet built around using the different pronunciations of the same words to illustrate the love between a couple who sometimes see things differently but actually adore it in each other and really never want to be apart. The lyrics also use wordplay to marry food with love throughout the song (yes, it really is the most Crowley & Aziraphale song that has ever been written lol) and include a line around oysters, which are more than a little relevant to Crowley & Aziraphale's story.

Maybe funnier is that if you take Crowley's "you say 'potato'" moment in The Resurrectionist and you add it to Gabriel's arrival in 2.01-- in which an enormous bin of tomatoes spills at his feet and roll into the street-- you have a further reference to "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" because the first two lines of the song are centered around potatoes and tomatoes and what happens in the Gabriel scene? He turns around after putting down the box and the crowd gasps, right? There's been endless debate over what Gabriel's whole deal down below is and the show-- which basically couldn't show us even if they wanted to because it would up the content rating of the show past what the studios would prefer-- had an opportunity for ambiguity and took it. It ultimately doesn't impact the story they are telling if Gabriel was efforting in that moment or not or what kind of effort he was sporting-- the answer can be whatever you want it to be. The debate over it is very "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", as it's "'you say 'to-MAY-to', I say 'to-MAH-to'". The end result of the scene is the same no matter what Gabriel's deal was in that moment, which is the point. To some extent, this is the show itself overall, too.

Okay, so why am I going on about Crowley's historical anachronisms in a meta about Aziraphale's blasphemous innuendo?

I'll explain how it relates to the "get thee behind me" moment on the other side of the song, which I've included in case you think you know this song but you aren't sure or if you do know it and just want to listen to some Ella. :)

I bring this up in a meta about biblical blasphemy because it's actually the second, subtle reference to Ella Fitzgerald in the series-- the first is actually "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan"... which is also an Ella Fitzgerald song from the 1930s. Specifically, it is an Irving Berlin song that was also, like "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", written for film, during the same period. ("Get Thee..." was written in 1935 and first played in a film the following year; "Let's Call..." written & performed in 1937.) The fact that the Jesus-ish "The Resurrectionist" minisode had another subtle nod to Ella Fitzgerald might strengthen the idea that Aziraphale is also referencing the Ella Fitzgerald song in 1.01, as well as the Biblical story that it references.

Making things even more interesting is one of the possible reasons for Crowley's historical anachronisms in the series in the first place, which might be that they hint at some of the ways that our professional midwife/cobbler Bildad the Shuite has been subtly influencing humans towards different ideas throughout history.

There's another meta on my blog about a different reference that ties to this a bit and it relates to how some of Crowley & Aziraphale's dialogue during the scenes of The Blitz so far (both parts) reference the 1957 film 'North by Northwest', which had the same screenwriter-- Ernest Lehman-- as the film adaptation of 'The Sound of Music'. Since the film came out 16 years after Crowley & Aziraphale first said these things in 1941, the implication is that at least one of them might have known Lehman and the two of them are actually partly the inspiration for the main couple in the film. I talked in that post about how this is hinted at by Crowley's repeated euphemistic references to trains in S2, as 'North by Northwest' is responsible for originating trains-as-sexual-metaphor forevermore through some now very famous scenes.

If it's already canon that they knew classical composers and Shakespeare and such, it's not far off to suggest that this type of interaction continued into more modern times and that maybe the Gershwins, Irving Berlin and/or Ella Fitzgerald were people Crowley and Aziraphale knew whose work was then inspired by bits of their story. "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" could have been kicked off by one of them recounting (or Crowley repeating) the "you say 'potato'", which is bound to happen anyway, since Crowley and Aziraphale are so self-referential about their past in how they speak with one another, like every old married couple. (This would also be interesting as it might point to them in New York in the mid-1930s.)

So, right, Aziraphale and blasphemy, yes, yes, we're back to that now... :)

Mah point is that whatever you think of Aziraphale's present musical tastes, he was absolutely listening to the then-current music of the 1930s and Ella Fitzgerald is an example of an artist that both he and Crowley would have liked and still like. They both know these songs so, at minimum, saying "get thee behind me" to Crowley is potentially not just referencing Crowley and Jesus in the desert but also referencing this Ella Fitzgerald song and what's of note here is that this is a very sexy song that is pure, blasphemous innuendo in the best way. It describes a secret night of passion between a couple in a forbidden relationship as being unable to resist temptation by comparing it, just as Aziraphale does to Crowley in 1.01, to Jesus' successful rejection of temptation in the desert.

Lyrics like this:

Get thee behind me, Satan I want to resist But the moon is low and I can't say "no" Get thee behind me

Get thee behind me, Satan I mustn't be kissed But the moon is low and I may let go Get thee behind me

It's possible that Aziraphale suggested the Biblical metaphor to Irving Berlin at one point and the song is actually inspired by Crowley and Aziraphale, even if no one but them knows just how much. At minimum, Crowley is responsible for this song in GO in the sense that it wouldn't exist without his interactions with Jesus in the desert, which would also be enough for Crowley and Aziraphale to just have a thing about the song. "Get Thee Behind Me, Satan" also being from the mid-1930s means that it pre-dates "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square", so maybe there's even an element of this being one of their songs. At the very least, Aziraphale totally thinks of it as one.

...and have I mentioned that the last lyrics of the song are just the recurring Crowley line of "It's too late" repeated?

Someone I'm mad about Is waiting in the night for me Someone that I mustn't see Satan, get thee behind me...

First post in the 'GO sex meta things' series:

[mysticsormr]

OK SO HERES THE THING REGARDING AZIRAPHALE’S CHOICE

It seems that people seem to keep characterizing Aziraphale’s choice at the end to accept Metatron's proposal as him believing that Heaven is good or that he is supportive of Heaven’s plans, that he likes and wants to be a part of Heaven. But I feel, personally, that this is not entirely true. 

Aziraphale has been shown, both in Season 1 but ESPECIALLY in Season 2, to disapprove of what heaven believes is right/good. He, instead, actively chooses to divert heavens plans time and time again to do what he believes to be right and good.

And for most of this time, he and Crowley together work to not do what Heaven or Hell believe is correct but what THEY feel is correct. (Even if sometimes it takes a shift in POV, or potential damnation, for that event to occur.) 

So, when Metatron offers him a high position in Heaven, I do not believe he accepts it because he is supportive of the ways of Heaven necessarily but more-so that this might be an opportunity within to prevent or change the devastating actions Heaven takes (which he has witnessed first hand). 

The reason he wants for Crowley to join him in Heaven is because he wants Crowley by his side. Because that it what they have always done. For millenniums, Aziraphale and Crowley together have worked to deviate the plans of Heaven (and Hell), to do instead what is not good or right by the ideals of their respective head offices, but what the two of them believe is good or right for humanity.

He is not asking Crowley to join him in Heaven because he thinks there is something wrong with Crowley (as it seems a few people have suggested), he has always believed Crowley to be lovely and kind - both when he was an angel and a demon. He does not feel that Crowley is wrong or incomplete or anything of the sort. Aziraphale is asking Crowley to come with, he wants Crowley to help him. He sees this as a chance to do what they have always done, but perhaps with more power. Maybe this time they can prevent it. Maybe this time they can keep humanity safe. 

It is also interesting to note that Aziraphale has, within the dreaded last 10 minutes (lol pain), multiple moments of hesitation. The first is right before Metatron and Aziraphale leave the bookshop. He begins to presumably say something along the lines of “I think I... [made a mistake],” but looks out the window to where Crowley must be and corrects himself in Metatron’s presence. I think this is probably the most we can see Aziraphale’s true personal desire which is to be with Crowley. To stay on Earth. To live a life that he loves with the person (entity??) he loves. But here, before he can say what he truly wants, he puts on a face and marches on. It felt here to me, that Aziraphale is doing what he feels is a duty. He is putting aside his desires to go to Heaven, in hopes of being able to help humanity (NOT help Heaven). 

Once outside, we are revealed a pretty vital piece of information. 

METATRON: I can’t think of a better angel, to wrap things up, and put into motion the next step in the great plan. 

AZIRAPHALE: Um, yes, you mentioned that. Can I know what it is?

OKAY SO FIRST. When Metatron proposed this to Aziraphale, he said that Aziraphale would be putting the next part of the great plan into motion. So I dunno about you guys but I absolutely think this was probably an alarm bell in Aziraphale’s head given what the previous step was (the Apocalypse). But understanding that this is what Metatron told Aziraphale that led to Aziraphale accepting to go with him, furthers the idea that Aziraphale is going to Heaven to try and prevent or deviate what is going to happen. He is not just going because Heaven has suddenly started talking to him again. This though, I feel, makes this all the more sad. Aziraphale is pushing down his personal desires for his notions of ‘the greater good’ aka protecting humanity as it seems.  

The second moment of hesitation comes just before Aziraphale steps into the elevator, just after he is told that what he is slated to help with in Heaven is The Second Coming. He looks towards Crowley and (understandably) hesitates - because in reality, this is NOT what he wants. Ideally, he doesn’t want to be involved with Heaven, especially not alone (finally and truly alone now too... He never has fit in with the other angels has he?). But, Metatron has just told him of the next great plan, The Second Coming, and he has the realization that - despite how much he may not actually want this, despite having to leave without the love of his life by his side - he NEEDS to go. He needs to try and stop it, he needs to try and divert Heaven’s plan. And though it may not be right, he feels he needs to divert it within Heaven. Maybe then he can prevent another atrocity, maybe then he can protect the lives on Earth that he loves. He feels as though that’s his duty. So, for the second time, he fakes a smile and follows Metatron into the elevator. 

Aziraphale believes (despite how much he may want to stay) that in order to try and stop disaster, in order to save lives, he has to go even if it pains him.

(Sorry if this was like super incoherent, this show melted my brain into Nickelodeon Gak.)

[mecachrome]

wahh thank u @scrappyracers for the tag i enjoyed ur answers a lot :') f1 tag game...

Who is your favorite driver?: i am an oscarybro first & foremost <3 he's the only driver i truly rep because honestly i don't think i have the bandwidth for more even if i wanted to/tried!!

Do you have other favorite drivers?: i would basically put alex below oscar in his own little tier and then it's just like [WALL]... but i'm also fond of yuki + lando + lewis and respekt maxv :') the rest of the grid i honestly don't think about 99% of the time LOL not in a bad way but because i barely have enough energy for My Guys as is u know

Who is your least favorite driver?: 😔 i feel bad sharing hateurisms on my family friendly blog. 

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: def drivers first but i genuinely like mclaren as a racing outfit so that helps!!! when oscar was still in alp i suffered so much because of it being a deeply unserious team and even back then when the cracks were still forming this was fairly evident because i had a rossi agenda, so i was like wegghhhh i guess i can enjoy a williams stint/swallow down alpine content for him. 😔 and then he replaced [answer to question above which at the time hindered my mcl support significantly] and i got the ultimate driver pairing at a team i'm actually quite fond of ❤️🤍🖤

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: any1 else papayapilled??? 🧡

How long have you been into F1?: a little over 2 years!!! how i managed to get into this sport via an inactive reserve driver i don't know.....

What got you into F1?: several friends were getting into it & were reading mxl fic & things of that nature and even though i wasn't really invested in any of the ships presented i ended up biting as well... but fsr i was not compelled by most f1 content / barely watched dts and instead got reeaaally into feeder series, i think perhaps because at the time i was fascinated by prospect projections + mapping / modeling career trajectories + the idea of "ceilings" in hockey and was watching a ton of jr hockey so it kind of translated over and i got to enjoy masterclasses like litr the most broken broadcast streams ever of kimi driving off into the distance in adac f4. But anyway... i also watched chasing the dream and became obsessed with oscar from that and the rest was history 😌🐨🧡

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: i definitely read it!!! RPF Is Fine etc. i've written 2 effwon fics very poorly and that's it but i peruse the 814 archives regularly..... i forever need to be better at commenting and feel very bad about my own shyness but i think this fandom has such a wealth of incred authors whom i am always in awe of x__x 🧡 tho i will say i'm also a stickler for the 4th wall and it mildly horrifies me that 814 are 75% public..... also fun fact 814 is my favorite oscar ship but it's only my #3 lando ship LOL. j(e|o)ndo you are so special 2 meee

How do you view new fans?: well i'm a relatively new fan so 💗 honestly i barely witness or process most fandom discourse wrt: gatekeeping the sport or dts fans or what have you since i do not frequent those circles of the internet (no public twitter / have never downloaded tiktok in my life) so i don't even know the primary arguments!!

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: i should never be put in charge of anything. now i'm just trying to think strategically like okay where would i want to live but even then i have no idea... 

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: my family could not care less but def the former !!! 💗 going to my 2nd gp soon with my beloved chirlie friend who has been with me thru k-pop fandom for like 8 years now hehe

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: yes i'm just very shy & have multiple anxiety disorders Amongst other things so pls forgive my neuroticism 😭😭😭 but i love 2 have discussions.... oscar piastri lore is my passion in fact <3

0 pressure tagging @bright-and-burning @piastrisms @miamimaiden @goingxmissing If u would like !!! these r fun qs i like hearing about people's fandom journeys/experiences hehe :')