#he's very detailed for such a little thing

[meanbossart]

A personal headcanon of mine is that Cazador had a special interest in Astarion before turning him into a vampire possibly a romantic obsession.

I was curious about what your personal thoughts were on the relationship between Cazador and Astarion?

Let me stop you right there - Yes.

Now, I'm a little reluctant to elaborate on this one, because I think it can be seen as a little reductive of the characters and their stories to condense what could be a political plot into something as superficial as another "if I can't have you, no one will" storyline - not only would that be less interesting to some people, but it once again reduces Astarion's character to his attractiveness - while the former, for once, actually made him "desirable" for his achievements and influence - even if it doomed him after all.

But at the same time, this theory compels me for that reason exactly. It sets the origins of the whole issue and what would, overtime, erupt into this complex he has of himself and how others perceive him.

I'm not a stickler for details as long as you can tell me a good story, but it's notable to me that the reasons why Cazador set his eyes on Astarion so early in his reign are never really elaborated on further. How much influence did he really have as a young magistrate, and what kind of rulings could he be passing that would affect Cazador so much for him to take such a risk in abducting someone of his standing right as he had himself come into power? Cazador is an idiot, but he's an idiot who managed to say alive and hidden for two centuries - this move was either exceptionally well thought-out, or Astarion wasn't that liked as a magistrate, or Cazador had far pettier motives to take such a risk.

Not to mention, Astarion is awfully elusive whenever you inquire about the hows and whys of his abduction. Dismissive, even. Like it's something he doesn't want to talk about. I could take that down the boring route and say "oh, the writers just didn't care to develop this part of his story", or I could do the far more fun thing and read into it.

Then, of course, there's the vague suggestions that Astarion stood out among the spawn for one reason or another - he's referred to as the runt of the litter, and yet as Cazador's favorite as well. Going through Cazador's journal following Astarion's disappearance, there seems to be something besides frustration about him leaving just as he's about to ascend - there's resentment, there's desperation. Why the fuck does Petras act as if Cazador would ever do anything good for them if they were treated as Astarion describes? How the fuck were any of them under the impression that this ritual would benefit them whatsoever, while Astarion seems to have always known better? While I have no doubt that they all suffered under Cazador's control, there seems to be indication that Astarion suffered specially badly. The question left is why.

I don't think they were ever lovers or anything like that, I don't think Astarion ever even knew Cazador well enough to give him a passing thought, but I think it would be absolutely rich for a newly born, still spite-fuelled vampire lord to make very emotionally-driven decisions. The type of decisions that he looks back on and curses himself for. For having ever had such a weak mind.

Think of it, you come into all this power after years of pain, sorrow and suffering. You set your hungry, lonely little eyes on the prettiest girl at the ball - she turns you down spectacularly. She laughs you off under thinly veiled pleasantries. You are beside yourself - you were supposed to have everything you ever wanted, to be untouchable, to be desirable, to have some sort of supernatural allure about yourself - you were under the impression that now, all of your problems had been solved and everything that life has to offer would be thrown at your feet, like you perceived it to be like to your own, deceased masted; then the rug gets ripped from under your feet. But, a moment after, you realize: when you want something very badly, you can now just take it.

So you do. You get a shiny new toy. Fresh off your dull, painful past-experiences it seems like this toy is all you need to bring the long-lost zest back into your life, it is your first taste of true power and control, your dear beloved, your reluctant companion, and you paint a picture of what life will be alongside it (though slightly stooped beneath you - you can't be equals, of course) decades, no, centuries into the future.

But the toy doesn't ever grow to like you. In fact, it hates you for what you are, what you chose to become and what you chose to make of, and to it. For a few years, you try. Then eventually you get bored of it.

In a few more, you begin to not be able to stand the sight of it. It reminds you of a time when you were naive, when you were stupid. Worse yet, it is now your ball and chain as you made it. The only use you see remaining for it is to tear it apart again and again and again until you've forgotten why you're even doing it. You don't even want to touch it yourself, you get others to do it for you.

I don't think Cazador harbored anything but that indifferent resentment towards Astarion through the vast majority of those two centuries, and, horrifically enough, I don't think Astarion even knew why for a good deal of it himself. I can picture him going over and over any passing interactions they ever had (if they even had any) desperately trying to piece together why me, what could I have done differently, how could I have avoided this hell.

Then, at some point, in the brief moments when his mind is somewhat cleared and after he has heard enough vague, cryptic remarks out of Cazador's mouth about his looks, about his attitude, about how he must think he's too good to do what he does, it hits him: If I had just said yes, none of this would have happened. It would have been a brief moment of disgust, but then it would have been over.

And you beat yourself over it almost much as you feel shame. You're embarrassed. Because you've now had to endure all this torment just because you said no to the wrong man - a matter of picking the bad choice at 50/50 odds. Not only that - but you were apparently so worthless to the world that this small mistake was enough to doom you for all eternity: It was, apparently, all you were worth. And he has made that abundantly clear by what he puts you up to now.

So, when someone asks you why it happened, you give them a better reason. One that at least highlights other things you were good at. They probably wouldn't believe you if you told them the truth, anyways.

[moondirti]

ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH [ john price x f! reader ]

: he sees you when his vices take hold. little love, invented. chimeric, he assumed - until you're not.

mdni. noncon; addiction (nicotine and alcohol); SSRIs; intoxication; breeding kink; daddy kink; hallucinations; kidnapping; drugging; objectification; slut-shaming; sexual harassment; violence; bondage; vomiting; guns; suicide, murder, pregnancy, spanking and branding mentions. 7k.

a/n: have yall seen ruby sparks? yeah imagine that but worse

John's always had his fixes.

He remembers the hysterics. Five and wet behind the ears, lungs scoured raw of anguish when his mum hadn't let him sup the vanilla extract. It's not what you'd expect, hun. But the child-sized idée fixe, destructive in its naivety, turned its head at the implication. He stuck his nose to the bottle's cap, got a whiff of it unfiltered, and revolted; how could it taste like anything but the ambrosia it promised?

Or, who was she to deny he try?

(His resistance to authority can be spoored there. A miasmic trail back to youth, stinking something foul. It had been a Sisyphean effort, pyrrhic, when he enlisted. Burnishing odour only to find, without it, there was nothing left for them to make use of.)

So – red-faced, tousled pyjamas at 2200, balanced atop a chair as his parents snored soundly on the couch – he snuck a teaspoon for himself.

It was foul, of course. A calcine irritation that clawed on its way down his throat, baring raw tissue in its wake. He hid his coughs behind his sleeves, vision cloudy with tears as he put everything back where it belonged – not disappointed so much as he was committed, he thinks. Because the very next night, he came back to try it again.

And again, and again.

Like clockwork, he tipped the small vial up onto his tongue and hoped it would pass into something different. Obsessive. Ruinous monomania. His dreams sprung into caliginous visions that detailed nothing but the phantom touch of it to his tongue; this taste, syrupy sweet like nothing he would find in comfits and puddings and pies.

(In hindsight, all it did was teach him how to embrace the burn.)

It only stopped when his mum woke to him voiding his guts in an old popcorn bowl. Poison control, buoyant levity clipped over the rotary phone, told her that it happens all the time. Kids go looking for a midnight snack and think vanilla will hit the spot. Our suggestion is to settle for alternatives until he's old enough to know better. Hydrate in the meanwhile.

– know better.

It's hard to say he does.

His wants still have wants, have asinine wants, that which keep him so late into the night that it's dawn before he falls comatose. Sunk into a leather wingback, the space of his parlour more smoke than it is air, contemplating keeping a warm body in these hinterlands. Helplessly soft, pretty. Fixated on that faceless something, burrowed beneath his sweet tooth again.

But on the wrong side of forty, he's honed prudence like a well-oiled firearm. Custom so things run smoothly, though not one he finds necessary if it weren't for convention. He knows his job would cut in on the upkeep, month long absences like a disease to whoever he manages to snare. It'll kill them, slowly, holed up in this home alone.

(When his parents did away with the extract, he tore the curtains and scribbled on their walls. A boy's green version of withdrawal, deprived of his favourite vice. He's never considered sobriety for that very reason – he's bad even with a maduro in hand.

And the thing about people, they're never so easy to replenish.)

Age besets everything. Counters them, grown as he is. Pragmatic.

Still. To say he knows better is... faulty, flawed. Not when he fists his cock to those fantasies and stirs on all the ways he can bring them to light. Early retirement (a prompt no; he's just as dependant on the field), or multiple little loves to keep each other company, his house turned an Arcadia of nymphs (though he tires to think of wrangling more than one, and the idea diffuses like sugar steeped in tea.)

It's on his fourth- fifth iteration that John starts to see it for what it really is. That this – a darling wife to curl between his legs – is like the imagined taste of vanilla extract. Too good to ever be made true. At least for a man of his ilk, whose bloody hands slip around nirvana. Unearned. Chained to purgatory so long as he weighs sins against the greater good. He wasn't meant for the finer things in life.

So he sticks to what he has. Old familiars. Noxious inhibitors, palmed for upwards of ten pounds, crafted for old dodgers like himself. Tobacco, dry whiskey. Nicotine to spout fire to his hindbrain. Cheap, easy accesses that sate the itch behind his eyes, so long as he lights another.

Ouroboros. It feeds itself and lasts.

(Until you come off the tail end that is, and sever the loop with your own, clever little hands.)

You pose a different kind of problem.

It starts after Serbia. Hounding across the Carpathian mountains for the better part of a winter has detrimental effects, see. And though he eventually locates the bunker Laswell's informants alerted them to, he comes out of it changed – head fixed the wrong way around, skin flaking over off a mulish swell of anger. Going back home is an ordeal when his body acclimatised to find warmth in the frost, talking to Stygian shadows like comrades. Necessitated madness revoked.

Because all of a sudden, everything is too comfortable. Vibrant. Nothing hurts enough to match the stress still ricocheting within him, and the imbalance threatens to capsize. The doctors prescribe SSRIs, tell him to keep it separate, Captain, when their eyes skim that part of his file that notes him as a habitual drinker – so he switches from bourbon to Canadian whiskey, like the ABV will make a difference.

(That inveterate defiance, rearing its ugly head once more.)

And really, he doesn't get what all the fuss is about.

The static in his head flatlines, white noise taking its slot. It's the greatest peace he's found since his bunkmate at boarding school stuck a joint between his teeth and told him to suck. Like fog wearing over a hill, his thoughts grow muddied, loose and abandoned once he can't tell which way is up or where the sky ends.

And the wants, the very same he's long since buried, come back with a vengeance. Unchanged, for the most part (he doubts they were ever dead in the first place) yet manifested differently, like they're privy to the scepticism that killed them last.

(Reveries no longer disembodied, shuddering old film onto the backs of his eyes, but projected into the dark corners of his house, instead.)

He hears your laugh, first. It is early March and easter endorsements already shade the telly in garish joie de vivre, corporations fighting for a foot in your spring celebrations! Buy an egg-dying kit and get one free, hurry before it's too late! John doesn't remember turning it on, can hardly feel the remote in his hands, but that acedia ebbs once the sound of it meets his ears. The sound of you–

Jingle-bell mischievous, he knows it has no place amidst the foolish ditties of spring. He turns the T.V. off, sitting upright in his chair, ears piqued in every direction as he waits for it again.

From the kitchen: another breathless titter, tapped from a chest too delicate to be mistaken for the howling winds outside. When he rises to inspect the source, he swipes the spare gun he uses to foot a broken table, trigger finger dangling bonelessly by the grip. Good to have it there, just in case, though he's confident he won't need to resort to such measures to neutralise you – not if you equal the Zephyr-like quality of your voice.

(Paranoia, it seems, is another effect of downing his meds with Crown Royal. Had he been less inebriated, he would have remembered that his doors are double bolted, and that there's no one out for miles.)

But what he expects to find, luminous between the birch cupboard rows, is not there. His kitchen is as empty as it's always been.

So, they might have warned him about it. He might have avoided this whole thing had he listened. But things snowball when he grasps what's happening. Calamitous uptake; it invades his dreams again, and his dreams invade reality.

(If he cannot have what he wants within the provident constrictions of life, then what's the harm in indulging himself, if only a little.)

Soon enough, he sees glimpses of you wherever he looks.

Sylphic figure come to haunt him. Light bounces through you, your flesh gossamer-like. Diaphanous. He thinks you cannot be crafted that way if not to accent the dark, wet rims of your eyes. The lightning-branched veins etched to all four extremities. Nipples like petals, touched alluringly to your breasts. He thinks you cannot be fictitious – he's never been an inventive man, and the impish flick of your lips reads as familiar, somehow. Dancing on the tip of his tongue, or a song he's heard once and never again. Like he's taken to it before–

His memory swishes like watered nectar in this state. It's impossible to place.

Still–

So long as you continue to appear as fine mist does, chasing the throttles of his high, John's a happy man. He need not tell you anything; you already know his name, what it is he likes. You sway to imagined tunes (later, he couples it to the erratic drumming of his heart) and jump nimbly around his legs, winding and tangling and falling right through them when he wishes to see you stumble.

You don't talk much, either. He has yet to whet the finer points of your being, work out what makes you tick or how you'd enunciate your words. It's an eggshell process. Fragile. Some nights, he'll imagine you with a cadence that doesn't quite fit, and you'll stutter like a faulty motor before shattering from view. To avoid disillusionment, he has to be careful. Extend a platter of properties for you to choose from, picky thing, and watch as you notch them on your tongue, testing.

You'll get this look on your face as you do. Contemplative, lips pursed for a moment before you shrug and slide down to decorate his feet, arms stretched across his ottoman like willow branches over a creek. It would put him off if it were anyone else, but he's eternally endeared to you.

The first time you speak, it's to call him out on that.

'Naturally.' You giggle, twirling your phantom fingers in the tufts of his leg hair. 'You have to like something in order for me to present it. Or is that not how it works?'

He doesn't think so.

"You tell me, little one. If that were the case, why disappear when I try something you aren't keen on, hm?" His words are slurred, strung together hastily, like his tongue hasn't the strength to articulate each in full. You understand him anyway, of course, scrunching your nose.

'I don't know.'

"Think, then."

You shuffle straighter on your knees.

'Maybe I want to be just right for you, daddy. Not all your ideas are great.'

John jerks his leg admonishingly, the joint of it passing right through you. It causes you to blink out of existence for a second, and his throat twists uncomfortably around the new darkness. Loneliness hurts more, harrows deeper, now that he's unused to it.

But you come back, straddling his hips this time. You always do

(So long as he keeps sipping, the glass in his hand sweating cool condensation into his skin. His cigar slowly smoulders away in a nearby ashtray, waiting for the uptake.)

"Mm, thought I lost ya." And if you were there – really there, he thinks – he'd wrap your hair in a fat fist and angle your head roughly down onto his. His arms lay flat to his sides, however. Restless.

'No.' You don't exhibit the same discretion. You smooth down his bare chest, ironing his scars until he feels brand new again. Whole as a kid. 'Haven't you heard? I have a tongue now, and all I wanna do is talk.'

"Is that right?" He hums, half-lidded eyes watch the space between your knees widen. Like Artemis in her waters, cursing Actaeon to the jowls of his dogs – you love teasing him when you know he cannot do anything about it, destined to be torn apart by his inborn desire.

'Well, what else is there?'

And if not for that one thing, John would be content to live like this forever.

(Two, if you count his prescription quickly running out.)

Routine lasts about a fortnight, if his taking of time is to be trusted.

Staged courting, you call it. A production of how typical romances go. When the sky bruises, opening up like the ripe flesh of a plum, he'll knock back two tablets using the last dregs of his afternoon whiskey and wait for you to come home to him. You look stunning when you arrive; naked, your body soft and creased and effulgent. And while it depends on how his day's been, more often than not, you'll imitate rubbing his feet as he tells you about everything – paperwork and the taskforce and state secrets (does confidentiality count towards figments of his high?) – before he's settled enough to cut to the chase.

Yet he runs out of patience for it as time hauls on. Avidity amasses, tumorigenic need cramping his chest. One day, he stops you from kneeling at all. 

"No need for that, sweet thing." He orders with a stiff grunt. There's no justification as to why, though it's clear you sense it already. The fraying strings of his sanity, that which you bat at like a playful kitten, have started to unravel dangerously close to what is holding it all together. "Just do what you do best, hm?"

(The best you can do–)

'Yes, daddy.'

Ever-dutiful, despite the monotony. There are no arguments with you, no taming and fights unless he's in a particularly aggressive mood. The only indication of your disappointment (not yours so much as it is his in himself) is the wet flutter of your lashes, the poking harlequin pout.

Both disappear from view when you turn your back to him and bend at the hip, small hands stretching to dig into your behind. His cock is out in no time – was practically tearing at his pant's seams, really – thrumming painfully hard, leaking onto his stomach when you pull apart either cheek like dough.

Your pussy spreads, glimmering under a matting of wiry hair. Arousal (feigned, imagined, projected–) webs your thighs together, swollen clit budding at the end of your mons. Apple of Eden; his jerks are awkward, uncoordinated, in comparison. Human. There's a twinge in his wrist from working himself almost daily.

His teeth taste like tobacco and spice, sleep clinging to the roof of his mouth. Would you eclipse it with your sweet-sour tang? He pictures taking you; stuffing his nose right below the tight rim of your ass so his tongue can lave over your slit. Working you open with his tongue. You'd soak the hair around his lips, and he'd press harder in response.

John spoils you rotten in his dreams. You know it, too, toes wiggling where you stand a few feet away. How cruel that he shouldn't get the chance to, then – that he has to consume his fixes to stop them from taunting him, and you're God's way of saying that he can't always get what he wants.

Carrot on a fucking stick. He's made an arse of. And worse yet–

He can't cum, no matter how enticingly you stand there. His palms are too calloused, nerves grown bored of their rough drag. Every jerk is a barely-there sensation. Surface level. Shallow. Like a rock skipping across a lake that never manages to sink.

(It never did amount to what you do to him in his head. But it seems as though his body has finally caught on to what the rest of him already knew.

That this – this tragic, autogenous slaking of carnal desire – can not continue on forever.)

He groans, paralysis needling painfully up his neck. It echoes like anger and holds none of the punch.

Breaking position, you twist to assess the newborn tension.

'Shhhh,' You coo. There's no judgement in your glassy eyes, none that can perceive (or wants to see). Rather, it's all pure love, a whisper of distress, and devotion. His little love, so perfect besides this one thing. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'

"Not your fault." Hoarse. Broken.

(Who has he become?)

'I'd help you if I could. Let you take whatever you wanted from me, you wouldn't even have to ask.'

He'd been the one to initiate it, but the prospect of his orgasm is long abandoned when you perch on the armrest, laying your head near his. He has nowhere else to put his hands, so he keeps them cupped between his thighs – and if he suspends utilitarianism for long enough, can almost believe that they're yours, instead.

"That's nice, little one."

He imagines your warmth, the soft comfort of your bosom, as sleep encroaches on his periphery. You'd cup the tired weight of his head and lay it on your lap, there to stay until he awakes to birdsong. There in the morning light.

Thus the minutes tick by in quiet melancholy. He's halfway layered in the pelts of hypnagogia before you speak again.

'You should visit town tomorrow. Mail something home for Mother's Day maybe, and stop by the grocer's for eggs. You're all out.'

He hasn't seen greater society for almost a month.

A wicked hangover splits his skull, worming its claws into the soft matter of his brain. John had initially set out to do as you bid him – find a nice present for his mum and stock up for the next few weeks' hibernation – but the throngs of people crowding home goods and the jewellers make his condition worse, so he resolves to call her on the day and heads straight to the market instead.

Eggs, you said. He needs a lot more than that. Water and red meat and perhaps something that leaks grease when fried. Cucumbers, yoghourt, granola, too. Milk or juice, never both because he can't commit to finishing them before their best-by date. Fruit. Cookies.

The list grows exponentially as he surveys the colourful aisles, under eyes tender to the touch. If it weren't for the cart carrying most of his weight, he would have toppled over already, his chest dipped over the handle, wheels barreling forward. The store's empty enough that he doesn't worry about clipping someone's ankles. For now, it's just him.

Always that. Just him, and–

"Ah!"

Fuck.

"Are you alright?" He defaults, lurching to pluck the rolling oranges off the floor. It necessitates far more exertion than he can handle at the moment. The woman he ran into catches what bowls from his reach.

"Oh, yes! So sorry, that one's on me." She laughs, nervous. The nature of it – gentle, shaky like the beat of a butterfly's wing – rouses a near Pavlovian response in him, pleasantries crystallising between his teeth, hard as pearls. He coasts a suspicious look up, but her head stays bowed as she piles everything into her basket, arched baseball cap obscuring her features. "I insist on carrying everything, see, then it gets too much for me and the baskets are the nearest thing, and you know how heavy those can get if you do some serious shopping, don't you?. Honestly, I never learn. How silly."

The wonder shatters. He cringes, eyelids pruning shut to gather his sore thoughts in the sudden clammer. Talks too much, too loud. He finds it hard to tolerate anything but singsong whispers these days.

(On him, he knows.)

Unceremonious, they both stand. John extends the final orange, appraising the products she tucks it between rather than look back up at her. Sugar, butter, eggs, flour. And a hefty heap of citrus, of course. Odd.

She seems to think the same, breaking the awkward lull first.

"Big family?" The question is clearly well-intentioned – posed to the stacked contents of his cart. No well-adjusted man would hoard as many perishables for himself, not with the grocer's as accessible as it is. But John is not well-adjusted in any sense of the word, especially in the past few months. All her prying does, then, is inflame the irritation dusting his throat, kneading salt into the wound.

How incredibly unfortunate timing.

"Gingivitis?" He clips back. His hangover makes regret a hard thing to reach, though given she doesn't take offence to his snipe.

"Ouch, okay." She laughs, more lighthearted than before. It reminds him of you (you, is anything its own thing anymore?) and John feels a fire light his heels. Agitation to get back home. "No, I'm making orange shortbread for the old folks at the nursing home. Needed to replenish a few things. I haven't baked in a while."

"How nice."

"'Tis the season! Erm– I mean. Y'know, with Mother's Day."

(Later, when he's staring at his fingers, sozzled like a cat on cream, he replays this conversation over in his head like he'll be able to change its outcome. Had he been alert, he'd have picked up on it by now. Christmas platitudes in spring – who else did he know with such transgressive peculiarities?

Captain Price wouldn't have missed it. Unfortunately for him, he left that intensity between powdered ice and silver firs.)

"Anyway." She coughs. He didn't realise he was expected to respond, stare lingering on the exit some distance away, keen to see this end. In his periphery, her cap tips down, supply list clutched in fidgety hands as she reads down the line of ingredients. He forces his attention back to the moment, training his eyes on the curve of her skull. "Just one thing left. Um, should be down hereeeee–"

Her head tilts up again, searching for the aisle markers overhead.

And it's–

Painful. Like the rip release of every organ seizes simultaneously, domino discharge down his spine. Ribs flush suddenly into the flaring muscle of his heart, which thrashes wildly against the corral, desperate to see itself out. To reach across this empty space and leech on to the delicate features that come into view. His brain – startled out of its judiciousness – blares I told you so's to the hot rush of blood behind his ears. Marrow melts to oil his joints, unmooring their structural integrity, and his breakfast threatens to disgorge and make for a foul first impression.

(John always thought revelations came kindly, that they blossomed in the neglected forks of life. Like a summer boscage, or the gentle, prying hands of a monarch escaping its cocoon. How can divulgence be anything but soft, and refined? How would the world grapple with them if otherwise?

He sees it now for what it is.

The world would have no choice.)

"Vanilla extract." You shake your list, smiling at him – a vivid, honest smile – before you brush right out of view.

He tells himself this doesn't change things. No matter how you like to argue the opposite.

'I don't see why not, daddy. Don't you want me, too?'

More than he'd like anything else in the world. But it's back again, that reaper of dreams poison control once foretold. Know better. He does, at least to the extent that bringing you here – tying you to his bed posts like he so desperately wants to do – is not the best idea. His age, his job, his incessant fucking wants, all pave their own desire paths; some more practical than others but less tempting as a result.

He knows how loneliness kills. At least he's built for it, but you?

"Work complicates things, little one."

John finds it all unfurling before him, the coffin housing his fears unhinged.

(You, dead by your own hands or worse, made vulnerable to the brutes he works against. Not a possibility when you're linked to him like this, hallucinatory, unreal, but you – the you he saw earlier today – aren't any of those things.)

'You don't really believe that, do you?'

You're never so argumentative. He sucks his teeth, waving a hand through your hips. And it must snub you so, for you disappear like smoke beneath a cloudburst of rain.

No matter. He doesn't need the temptation finding him.

(That is, until an answer finds him first.)

He phones home for Mother's Day, and she asks for updates for any lucky miss he would call his.

In the borders of his vision, you're hunched over the persian rug that was a gift from an associate for a job well done. Your feet cross over each other, fingers working idly at pretending to braid the fringed edge. The sight gets the better of him, adorable, and he briefly considers switching his answer from the usual – wish you'd stop fretting, it's not doing your health any favours – until sense catches on. He wouldn't know how to deal with the questions.

"No."

"What a shame. I know you're busy with that job and all, John," Because his mother never addresses the big risk to her son's life by name. "but you really should work on making me some grandbabies, before I pass on to the earth."

"Please, mum. Don't start with that nonsense–"

"No! It's any day now, you know it as well as I do." She tuts. He remembers her hands – tracing cool patterns onto his scalp that night, back when he was five and only concerned with the best taste his mouth could fathom. He remembers, and thinks of the wrinkled stretch of them now. "Take this as my last word of wisdom! Family will be the one thing you have when those milking tosser's decide to do away with you. Family, John!"

He chokes back a sigh.

"Yeah. So you've said."

Family. So bloody simple, isn't it?

Iron-wrought key, right under his nose this whole time.

His last two pills frown at him from behind their orange confines, two-toned and unassuming. He could get more if he so pleased, but the hope is that they won't be necessary after tonight.

Carried by the bourbon that blazes down his gullet, they go down smoothly. Soon enough, you appear, summoned, as he laces his boots.

"Does it hurt you, sweet thing?" He finally asks, punching an arm through his windbreaker's sleeve. April showers carry bracingly after dusk, weatherproof attire a functional choice. 

That is to say, the towel in his pocket isn’t for him. 

You gain that elvish look to your face, of the same variety he fell in love with when you first appeared to him. He often forgets how otherworldly you can be; radiant, inhuman vision. Your mirror isn't so... remarkable. Frizzy hair, fleshly, bleeding behind round cheeks. Perhaps that's the appeal.

'F'course not. It is me, after all.'

"Is it?" The front door clicks behind him, new-washed breeze pushing it into place. It feels final, like casting his decision in stone.

'Hmm,' You pretend to think for a long, long while, prancing a solid two paces behind no matter what speed he sets. A new moon blights the fields around his home, sparse raindrops reflecting only your glowing figure. It lights the way until he reaches the skirts of town, when street lamps bleed gold down onto him. Only then do you speak again. 'I should think so, yes. Take a left here.'

John does as you say.

'Though she won't be as receptive to it all. Right.'

He turns right.

'You’ll have to decide how to deal with that.'

"I'd appreciate a few pointers."

'What do you think I'm doing, daddy?' You murmur, materialising before him as he comes up on an avenue known for its nightlife. 'Take a right here and keep going.'

"And you?" He asks, though he already knows the answer.

'I'll be there.' 

You are. Though you’re not alone. 

Two cretins crowd you into a brick wall, lanky arms anchored by your head to form a flimsy aviary. John hears their badgering a block away; crowing voices, placatory promises they wouldn’t be able to uphold even if they knocked back a viagra each. The wind carries it, works their whispers into fine dust. Powder. Negligible. He’s seen this dance before – this dreadful caper, a little bit of force behind what is otherwise an insipid show – but he’s usually above such drama. The men he keeps know not to ask for what they want. Not when it hazards a bird flapping out of reach. 

You’ve got to clip their wings, first.

Though you look like you’d be indebted to any sort of hero. The hem of your dress rides up your thigh, snapping away from restive hands. Shortening what is already… He resolves to admonish you about it later, traipsing closer to the scene. Given your ornament, he can’t blame these men beyond covetous reason, but he won’t topple it onto you either. 

Everything flays out before him. Of the bunch, you demand the slyest hand.

“C’mon, love. It isn’t that far of a walk.”

“Yeah. You’re pissed out of yer mind a’ready. Can’t go home now, huh?” 

“Would be so cute between us both.” 

“The best. Look at those wide eyes.” 

“Busy checkin’ out the arse on her, but I’ll get to her eyes in a minute.” 

Your face crumbles in on itself. He’s closer now. Can make out the mascara painting black tracks down your cheeks, lips smeared by the rain – or, the alternative, pecking vultures having claimed them already. Either way, a green-eyed serpent seethes in the curls of his gut, blood imbued venom coursing. He feels it wind, poising for attack, strength compressed into a tight ball of anger. 

Then, when one of them – ginger, juvenile – snakes a hand between your legs, it strikes. 

He rips his gun from the inner lining of his coat. The other kid is shorter, more on edge, so John doesn’t worry about the force it’d take to daunt him. When the cold press of his muzzle fixes to his companion’s temple, he dashes away with a pathetic screech, tripping over the loose ends of his shoelaces. Par for the course. Weasel.

The ginger isn’t so lucky. 

“You get off on scaring defenceless girls, lad?” He barks into his ear, one hand gripping both floundering wrists. The boy cringes, fear rattling his throat. Any response he tries to shape turns out a nasally wheeze. 

“P-Please-”

“Shut your fucking trap. You’d have a better shot at mercy carving your little cock off.” 

“I w-wo– we were just-t having fun. No harm… harm done, right?” The pleas recourse to you. In his periphery, John registers your frown. Half-hearted. Scared still – of both the unfamiliar, violent men. He peels the commotion two steps back to show he means no harm. 

(To his narrow definitions, of course. His plans for you constitute harm in anyone else’s book. He’s sure that, if you were wise to them, you’d slip in the other direction.)

“She doesn’t seem to think so.”

“No! No, p-please, p–” He silences the boy with a pistol-whip, blunt end of the gun breaking skin off his jaw. The message couldn’t have been clearer – twice now, he’s demanded silence – but no one seems to listen. His cries peak, out-of-tune in the pitter-patter shower. Tortured, like a mangled cat.

“Here’s what you’re going to do, yeah?” The air flutters around you. He’s trained to tread carefully, like you’ll disappear at any moment. Better make this quick, then. “You’re going to go home, lock your windows, and try to sleep with an eye open tonight. The young lady’s welfare matters more than your fate, but I don’t forget. There will be a time where I come to break every finger off your hand. Enjoy them in the meanwhile.”

Perfunctory, he shoves him to the muddy floor. Blood joins the streams sluicing to the sewers, inky swirls of gore a welcome sight. He hasn’t felt this alive since–

Well, since Serbia.

And the boy must see the predatory gleam in his eyes. The dead, inbred callousness. Shark out of the water. Knows what’s good for him as the fin breaks the surface, rows of teeth just underneath, because he runs off before they can snap around his clumsy legs. 

(You, on the other hand, don’t have that instinct. Instead, you blubber, seal on a floating icecap. 

And dive headfirst into his jowls.)

“T-Thank you, I can’t thank you enough. I- My friends left me and I didn’t have a ride home and no one was picking up my calls so I thought it would be safe to ask them, but I couldn’t have predicted how nasty they’d be. Really, they seemed like nice guys–” 

John censures you with a stare. 

“You should know better than to be out at this time.” 

He’s gotten good at imagining your responses. He needn’t hear what you have to say next. Before you can even open your mouth, the chloroform-doused towel in his pocket is out and pasted to your pretty face. 

There’s a brief pause where he expects you to fall through to the floor. But your body slumps, ragdoll boneless, right into his arms.

That’s what brings him here. 

Here: cotton rope hitching your elbows together behind your back, a column of square-knots parallel to both arms. It was what he managed while you were unconscious. Could have managed more – so much more, tick off the beginnings on a cosmic index of all the things he wants to fucking do with you – if it weren’t for patchy effort. He went a little rabid, see. Clipped off the leash, chain to the doghouse broken. Saw the time better spent fondling your supple curves, your body lax beneath his. 

Weakened or willing, it doesn’t matter so much as you’re corporeal. That he can.

(A book he bought as a much younger man details seven different ways to harness a chest. If he had a grip, he would have seen to it – your breasts purpling, ensnared in a lattice of his own construction. It’s this new, foul fascination. How many ways can a body bend before it breaks? He’s never been mindful of the line before, on the field, but he’s got one to do with as he pleases, now.) 

Little one. New toy, fix. His wife.

You process it all in your own time, sleepy eyes peeling open to find that you’re no longer in some dingy alleyway. Though your hair has yet to dry, he’s made good work of paring the damp dress off your form, the steady warmth of a fireplace making for a gentle come-to. John takes it as encouragement when a tired yawn splits your mouth, lips quirking up. Smiling. 

“Look at you.” He hums, thumb working quicker over your clit. With legs notched apart, your cunt’s been made vulnerable, bared to every ministration he couldn’t wait to inflict until after you woke. Thus you’re already weeping a steady stream of slick, folds lacquered in arousal. Leaking down the line of your ass, too. Desperate thing. He scrutinises the sloppy mess of it, doughy and swollen and wet, shoulders flexing over the possessive swell in his throat.

It’s comical, the turnaround. Reality overruns your face, peaky infestation from his carcass to yours. Your eyes well with teary distress as you take him in. What a monster he must make; frothy longing turned savagery, held too long under the blighted mass of his tongue. Festered. Ugly. He sees it himself in the contrast of his skin and yours. Where you’re satin, all incandescent sweat-slicked stretch, he’s 60 grit sandpaper. Sun-hardened leather and crooked scars.

“Hnmphh!” 

But he can ignore that. Doesn’t have to concern himself with rejection, not when the bit gag between your teeth renders you mute. Simple knot sandwiched by your molars. Subtle. He doesn’t want it to hurt today – not any more than necessary, at least – but conversation has gotten old. There’s a reason he brought you home. Why thick fingers work your hole, breaking it to house something bigger. He isn’t interested in soft-soaping anymore.

(The two of you have had your honeymoon already.)

No. Purpose, he thinks. His mum laid it all out for him. A family to bear you company during those long weeks he isn’t home. Family, linchpin to making this all work. To crowd this house with not just one, or two, but multiple sweet things that’ll extinguish the lonely flame at its hearth. He celebrates it already – boisterous corners, crowded kitchens, the cable he pays for finally being put to use. 

And you–

“Promise I’ll suck that pretty pussy like I promised, little one. Just– fuck- daddy just has to do something first, yeah? You gonna be good for me?” John huffs, shucking his trousers to fish himself out of his pants. 

Your muffled protests launch into something else entirely, feral defiance compelling your limbs like electric shock. It’s fusillade, violent devastation. Your legs flail, unhinged, compensating for the lost mobility in your arms. He manages to slip his fingers out of your clutch and tuck a hand under either knee, but not before your heel connects to his jaw. As is true on the field, adrenaline primes a strong kick. Metallic warmth swathes the inside of his cheek, strength waning for a second.

And through it all, you have the audacity to cry. 

When he regains his bearings, anger has supplanted care. He hoists your thighs up onto your chest, calves upright in the air, and pushes a knee forcefully into the space exposed. It flattens your cunt with the pressure, clit crushing in on itself. Agony bulges fine lines at your temples, veins bloating as a miserable scream tears from your throat.  

“I’ll cane your ass raw if you keep up with this. Strike your hole until all you’ll feel for weeks is your punishment. That what you want, mm? Want the memory of our child’s conception to be filled with pain?” 

His nose fits to yours, beard tickling the canyon of your upper lip. It's intense, the proximity. Heat flush between you, sustained fire you can’t pull away from. John watches the hesitancy flit over your eyes, the reluctance of a burn, breaths erratic and shallow. You didn’t breathe, before. Didn’t need to. But he finds that he likes the new rhythm of it. Like watching the life drain from a quarry, game bleeding out into Serbian snow. He never thought he’d miss hunting for survival – not until he had you pressed to his side, lured from those other predators into something much worse. 

(And perhaps that’s what’s been absent, all along. You used to come too easy, allowed him to grow permissive and lazy. But this– 

His skin fits the moniker again. Captain, revitalised in his bones.)

You shake your head no, just as he rubs his cock along your entrance. 

The feeding is effortless. You practically draw him in, needy for it, walls conforming to the fat intrusion until his head nestles against a hard spot. Steel-wool pubes tangles in your own, scratching the sensitive hood of your clit as he adjusts to the balmy suffocation. Tight. So fucking tight, more so than he could have imagined, your struggle working against you as it contracts the muscles around the area. 

His teeth knock into yours, borderline bruising kiss closing the gap. Should he give it a moment’s breath, his lips would swell blue. But he keeps you to him, your reluctant mouth slow against his own – impeded by the gag and your own stubbornness, snivels sucked into his gluttonous abyss. It tastes like seawater and vanilla, the wires crossing in his brain. 

This, he thinks, is the taste he’s been searching for all his life.

This petty space separating you, a carpet of chest hair laid over our thighs. Breathing one another in, memorising the scars behind your cheeks. Pistoning into your cunt, making room for himself in the years and years to come. He’ll never get enough of you. You’ll never get enough of it – once you learn to embrace the pleasure wrought out of you. 

In due time.

He batters parallel to your cervix, plunging deep as he can go. You’re slippery with the effort, wet where you thrum fierce, depravity stringing the oscillating gap of your mons and his pelvis. Binds you to him like gauze on a day-old wound, sticky and raw, and you must be a masochist if the stiffening of your joints is anything to go by. Your pupils roll, stupid, to regard the back of your head. Fucked dumb. Nerves snapping, limbic system miswiring. 

“Can’t wait to see my seed take, have you grow round and glowing.” He growls, speaking into your cheek. The faint hints of your cologne, long faded under rain and sweat, cram temptingly into his synapses. It’s all he can do not to take a whole bite of you, now that he can. Wants to see the evidence of his ownership mark your skin; violent, a little bloody. Physical. Carnal. Imperfect presence honing in the fact that it is better than none at all. 

“Mmmmff,”  

“Yeah? Want me to keep you pumped full of my cum? Think that would be nice. Plugging you shut. Maybe suspending you upside down so it’s a sure process. How does that sound, sweet thing? Y’like it?” 

Your feet thump weakly on his back.

“Then cum. Go on, be a good girl f’me.” 

And with the orchestration of it all; your already tense pelvic floor, the rippling liquid of your eyes, the stifled voicing of your plight– 

John can’t tell whether or not you do. 

You tire yourself out, eventually. 

It’s much later; the rise of a new morning flooding his home in sheer blues, illuminating last night’s mess. Without the orange glow of firelight, it looks a lot less romantic. Torn clothes, cotton fibres. Body fluids matting the pelts he uses to break up the floors. He would have it in him to blanch at the forfeiture of his self-control, cringe a little for appearance sake. He’s grown, now. Should know better.

But there’s no one around. No one. Just him, christening a loveseat instead of his wingback, and– 

You, knocked out on his lap, rope burns raw up your arms.

(When you wake again, he’ll make it official. A passing of the torch, so to speak, from one fix to the next. He hasn’t a band, or really any certification to make it legal. But–

The lit end of his cigar should do. Touched, fittingly, to the proximal length of your ring finger.) 

John’s always had his fixes. 

He finds he’s finally had his fill when you cradle his child close to your breast, and reach out a hand for him, too.

i do not have a taglist. to be alerted when i post / update, please follow @moondirti-archive and turn on post notifs.

[cloudcountry]

you opened twst requests yaaay! may i request floyd and jamil with a sleepy s/o who likes using them as pillows? ty!

SUMMARY: floyd and jamil with a sleepy s/o!!

COMMENTS: i did!! thank you for requesting hehehe :3c <3

Floyd is normally very high energy, but when it comes to his more sour moods he’ll be more willing to just sit with you for longer periods of time. It cheers him up a little, knowing he can just sit with you, and you still trust him enough to fall asleep on him when he’s like this.

If he’s more high energy, he might wake you up depending on how heavy a sleeper you are. He’ll subconsciously poke and prod and squeeze at your flesh, giggling as he gazes at your sleeping face. He’s never looked more lovestruck.

You may think you look like a disaster when you wake up, but Floyd thinks you look so cute. Your hair sticks up in weird angles? Your arm went numb? Your eyes are bleary? Whatever the case, he’s right in front of your face, soaking in every detail.

Floyd doesn’t miss a single thing about the person he’s interested in. He’ll note your sleeping habits and whether you’re a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper, just so he can figure out where the best place for you to nap is.

If anyone needs you while you’re asleep, that suuuucks. Floyd isn’t letting you go anytime soon, no matter who is calling you or him. That’s their problem.

Jamil doesn’t have a lot of time to himself, so you’re limited in the amount of time you can nap on him. Unlike Floyd, who will ditch work to sit with you for hours, Jamil has maybe thirty minutes every day to spare for you pre-book four.

Even after book four, it’s still going to be rough getting him to spend more time with you, since he’s still recovering. But honestly, you sleep so well on him that those shorter naps are worth it.

Sometimes he studies when he has you resting on him, absentmindedly stroking your hair as he flips through a textbook. It’s silly, but having you there almost helps him focus better. 

If you’re a heavy sleeper, he’ll gently lay you down on his bed and go fix you some food and drink when you wake up. It’ll always be some sort of tea and a light snack, and when you wake up he’ll serve it to you with a soft smile.

If you’re a light sleeper, when you wake up he’ll take you to the kitchen so you can still be with him, sleepy eyes and all. He whips up something quick for you, even if you tell him he doesn’t need to. It's a force of habit.

[monstersflashlight]

Commission for monster fucker anonymous!

Request: Human is chubby trans masc uses he/him with a pussy/hole/cunt. Human very happily takes a job where he is a breeding hole for monster science studies. It's like a hole in the wall where only his bottom half is on show and his top half is hidden so he can hide his face. The monsters take turns using him till he passes out or gives up. In the end he is offered a full time job as a breeding hole. He can't get pregnant but it doesn't stop monsters from trying.

The hole in the wall

Orc x minotaur x werewolf x chubby trans masc!reader || free use, breeding, cum playing, lowkey dirty talk, glory hole

When they offered you a good pay at the science lab for a job that seemed too easy, you agreed immediately. They were trying to understand the mating cycles of different monsters and they needed human subjects in the control group. Seemed easy, seemed like a great pay for very little effort. You were 100% on with it, already thinking what would you do with the money.

“This is your station.” The researcher pointed to a padded hole in a wall. A literal hole in a wall.

“Wha-what?” You asked, confused. Maybe you should have paid a bit more attention to your friend when he explained the details.

“Yeah, we don’t want the monsters to get distracted with other parts of your anatomy, so you are supposed to get your torso in there, so your hole is the only thing they can fuck out here. Didn’t they tell you this in the interview?” She asks, as confused as you.

“I didn’t go through the interview… Your head researcher recommended me.” You didn’t tell her you agreed too fast to listen to the specifics, your brain already filled with possible scenarios involving your soft body and a hard, hard monster.

You didn’t tell her you were more than happy to be fucked by monsters. It was a special kink of yours, and you never found the moment to act on your fantasies. You had been a bit too self-conscious about your body, but this seemed like a great opportunity to get what you wanted without thinking too much about it.

“Well, you have to get in there and I’ll tie your extremities, then prep you for the monsters.” She explained as you inspected the padded space. It seemed big enough, but it might be a tight fit over your soft tummy and fat ass. But well, at least the ass would be on the outside of it. You had to bite your tongue not to laugh at your silly thoughts.

“Are they sentient?” You asked. You didn’t really mind if they were feral, but it would be good to know beforehand, just in case.

She kept checking some stuff on the wall as she wrote down some things on her tablet, not minding you at all. “Yeah, they are volunteers. Each clan or pack sent their own prime specimens.”

Nervousness was not your best friend in this scenario, you felt jittery with excitement and anticipation, and a soft dose of eagerness underlying those. “What are they?” You finally asked, wanting to know what exactly you were against today.

You didn’t really mind what kind of monsters they were, but the curiosity was making you jump on your feet. You hoped there was at least one werewolf there, you wanted to feel the knot so bad it would make you look stupid if you said it out loud. So you didn’t.

“Let me check.” She looked through some papers and choked a little trying to hide a laugh. “Well, I hope you are ready. Your group includes a minotaur, an orc and a werewolf.” Oh fuck. Not only a werewolf, but two of the other biggest species of monsters. You sent a silent thanks to your friend for setting you up on this job. You were going to get paid to get your sexual fantasies fulfilled, how wild was that?

You tried to act nonchalant so she wouldn’t know how turned on you were already. “Oh… Okay.” Your voice broke in the middle and you flushed, embarrassed. Your insides turned into jelly.

“Get inside and I’ll get you ready.” She instructed.

You got naked and positioned yourself on your back, legs hanging out and back against the padded table inside the hole. There was enough space for you to move, and it felt airy and comfortable. Your arms were free and there was a red button close to you in case something went wrong. That made you feel a bit better, even though you knew you wouldn’t press it. You wanted this more than you needed air. Your need and horniness making your brain felt like it was filled with cotton candy.

It was a weird feeling to have your lower half across the wall, but not in a bad way. You felt the anticipation building up, heat pooling in your lower abdomen. She tied your legs up against the wall, your body almost in a 90º angle. You felt completely exposed as she inspected your genitals as she explained the breeding procedure. You didn’t hear half of it, too focused on her moving around and poking at your skin. After that, you felt a splash of cold lube against your boy-cunt, the researcher mumbled a soft “sorry” when you jumped a bit. She worked it over your hole until you felt slippery and wet.

The medical technicalities should have made you feel weird, but they turned you on even more. When she said her goodbyes and told you to press the red button if you had any problems you were so ready to be breed that your brain was swimming in need.

And then there was silence. Your nervousness grew, and you wriggled your ass trying to find a more comfortable position, but your tied legs stopped you. You heard the footsteps before someone said: “Look at that… He has a great ass, fuck.” Next thing you knew, there were rough, furry hands groping your ass. The werewolf. Fuck, that was hot. You covered your mouth to muffle the groans. Not seeing whoever was touching you adding to your arousal.

That same hand that groped your ass, ran a set of very pointy nails down your crack, the threat of danger making you shiver, your legs shaking against the restrains holding them up. He spanked you lightly as someone else chuckled. You could feel your soft flesh moving as the werewolf played with your ass, pulling your cheeks apart and blowing warm air over your hole.

You moaned loudly around your hand, thinking there was no way the heard, but he did it again. The laugh they let out was enough sign of it. Fuck, you forgot about super-hearing. “Such a pretty hole. We are going to have so much fun with you, little human.” You had to bite your lip to refrain telling them you weren’t little, but a picture of a monster appeared in your brain and you stopped. You were probably small compared to them, they were so big… Shit, you didn’t even know you had a size kink. Another day, another unlocked kink.

“I call dibs!” A deep voice called out, making you press your hand to your mouth harder to stop a giggle escaping. There was some kind of struggle and you tried to imagine them fighting over who got to fuck you first. They were so eager to fuck you, it was the best ego booster. All your self-consciousness about your soft tummy or big ass disappeared as they bickered about who got to fuck your cunt first.

“Dude! That’s not cool. I wanted to go first.” He sounded pouty and you wanted to see them so bad. But at the same time, some part of you was excited that they couldn’t see you. It turned you on to know you were just a hole for them, and they were going to use you as they pleased. Fuck. Why was that so hot? “Okay, but I’m second,” he finally said with a very fake sigh.

“Sure, sure… Just let me taste him first.” You jumped against your restrains when a rough big tongue made contact with your gaping hole. You cried out and heard the responding chuckles across the wall. “He’s a screamer, this is going to be great.” A hand grabbed your hips and pushed up, appearing at your side of the hole. The orc. The pale green skin looked so pretty against your soft tummy.

Images of monster porn appeared in your brain as you felt the first poke of his fingers. He went right in with two, making you arch your back and shake your legs, trying to get away from the invasion. His green hand held you still, pushing your hip down as he continued his attack on your hole until you were about to cum, groans and moans escaping your mouth.

“That’s it. He’s so ready, his insides are so fucking soft and warm. He’s so damn tight. Look at him guys, look at this hole.” The orc retracted his fingers and opened you up for the other two to see. You heard their appreciative hums and grunts, your whole body flushed with embarrassment. You were tied and exposed, completely at their mercy, and good goddess if that wasn’t exciting. “I hope you are ready, little human, I’m not going to be careful.”

That’s all the heads up you got before his dick was pressing into you in one hard thrust. His big balls hit your ass as he set a punishing pace, grabbing your hips and fucking you against his dick, using you like you were just a fleshlight for him. He didn’t stop even when you came once, twice. He kept fucking you and grunting as your tight hole gripped his length like a vice. He told you how good you felt around him, how full he was going to make you. It was such a turn on you came a third time as the first shoot of his come hit your insides.

He pulled away rapidly. You felt his cum leaking out, your hole gaping at the emptiness. You whined and they shushed you. “Don’t worry, human, more is coming.” You felt the tip of a new dick in your abused hole, bigger than the orc’s. “Ready or not, I’m going to ruin your cunt.” The minotaur voice was gravelly and growly, making you shiver as he pushed the tip of his dick against your leaking hole.

He probed at your entrance for a few seconds before pushing inside in one hard thrust. You had to push your hands to the wall over you to not hit your head with the force of his thrusts, your tummy jiggling as he screwed you. He was restless, his dick was so big you could feel it touching ever single part of you, a tiny bump against your abdomen making you see stars.

He told you how good your human cunt was, how pretty stretched around his dick, how good you’d look full of him, full of his cum. You whined and threshed, oversensitive as he fucked a few more orgasms out of you. When you felt him shooting inside of you, it felt like molten lava. It was so warm and there was so much of it, you didn’t know a monster could cum so fucking much. A bump formed in your abdomen, and it stayed there even when he pulled out. You tentatively pushed down with your hand, blushing as you heard the gushing sound of cum dripping to the floor.

Their groans made you blush harder. “His hole is gaping, fill him up. He has such an eager cunt, I want to go again.” The minotaur said, making the other two hum in agreement.

“You can have another turn later, now it’s my turn,” the werewolf said as you felt his dick slipping inside you. You felt so full, your insides messy and your hole so tender pleasure and pain mixed with every thrust. He didn’t give you a resting second, he fucked you like he didn’t care about you. You guessed he didn’t, for them you were just a breeding hole.

You thought you were full before, but the second the werewolf knot started to swell inside of you, your brain short-circuited. You couldn’t hear anything apart from your rapid heartbeat as he pushed it inside, stretching you so wide and so harshly you felt your consciousness slipping.

Next thing you knew, the orc dick was being shoved inside of you around. The amount of cum inside of you mixed with your own juices created a slurping sound that was deafening to your ears, even through the space between your wide hips and the hole in the wall.

They joked between them and talked about how good your cunt was, how pretty and puffy it looked as they pushed their cum inside over and over. You felt like a messy glazed donut. It was almost disgusting, if it didn’t feel so fucking good. Your brain was unable to focus anymore, you could only feel the come inside of you gushing out as more was pushed in. The filthy symphony of your ravishment.

They fucked you one after the other over and over, it was a never-ending bacchanal and you were the center of it.

When your brain was completely shut down and your drool was creating a tiny pool, a beep beep sound alerted you that it finished. The breeding period was over. You made it. They booed and grunted in disappointment, but your poor abused hole gave a soft twitch.

“Good job, human hole.” One of them lightly caressed your ass as the other pushed some of the cum leaking out back inside and softly told you: “Hope to see you around.” You sighed happily, brain non functioning as you heard them walking away.

You barely remembered the researcher coming back to get you, telling you the results of the day and getting your bank account. Two days later you got a call. The lab offered you a permanent position as their breeding hole.

Apparently the group of monsters talked so well about your boy-cunt that everyone else at the facility wanted to give it a go. To give you a go. The lab usually asked for different humans in each trial, but they would make an exception for you. You would be the perfect breeding hole for the monsters to spend some of their extra energy, a free human hole for them to use as they pleased.

You said yes.

Remember you can comission me, the info is here.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Look its the love of ur life PLUS we finally got his club wear outfit (THOSE THIGHS THO)

SRRY FOR LOW QUALITY

IT’S OKAY I HAVE THE ShINY hiGH QuALITY j woRD RIGHT hERE

gHqfquDyFr52428:)2$!;audwhw WE WON, FELLAS 😭 WE FINALLY GOT CaNONicAL J WORD WiTH HaiR TUCKEFDd brHIND HIS eAr, iTMS NO LongER jUST A DELUSiOn dePICTED ONLY in fANBcONRENT……………………….. ……..:: …. …. …..:::::.. …. .. . . .. . ……… . … .. . . .. . . BLESS 🙏 bro even removed his earring even though he doesn’t do it for lab or cooking/j

I love all the little details in this card!! It’s a very practical design—we obviously see his big backpack and camping gear scattered about (even what looks to be a folding chair to sit and enjoy the scenery), but there’s also little accessories which are useful in exploring the woods + mountains. There’s a compass, a map, a lantern that sort of looks like a shiitake (which he is holding very daintily 😂), that brush clipped to his crossbody bag (probably for removing dirt from specimens he finds), etc.

The outfit he’s wearing is also practical! He’s got a bunch of layers is us all bundled up to protect from the cold. The beanie + hood combo is good for the rain and keeps his (gloved) hands free for exploration. An umbrella would just get in the way! His backpack is secured to him with a belt across his chest so he’s not in danger of forgetting his supplies somewhere! There also seems to be stuff strapped to his thighs (the thighs THE THIIIIIIIIIIIGHS), as well as large pockets in his coat to hold things. asdgukvaukfviqyelfae; Now that's design I can get behind 🤡

You can tell he takes these trips seriously and puts a lot of effort into preparing for them!! Jade’s totally in his element and I love that for him 🥰 Just look at that peaceful, angelic smile… Aaaaah, so cute 😭 Hopefully he won't take too any rolls to drag home from the mountains...

(P.S. His DUO magic partner is Malleus! It looks like TWST is pairing up the single member cultural club boys.)

[erosiism]

GENSHIN MEN AND…

prompt: HOW THEY WOULD REACT IF YOU SACRIFICED YOUR LIFE FOR THEM

character(s): diluc, zhongli [part one] childe, ayato [part two, out]

warnings(s): angst ofc—mention of blood, my first post on tumblr so my writing style may be a little icky, inaccuracies since I haven’t looked up genshin lore for a hot minute 

note(s): male reader, second person, present tense, not beta read

DILUC

There’s a lot of things you haven’t told him yet. Things you wished you had told him—but everything’s fine, because in this single action you are willing to do for him—your feelings will come inevitably with it and it’s a torrent of emotions that you’re about to burden him with.

He’s been your childhood friend for seventeen years now. All those times you have seen him, smiling, his merry laughter carrying over the breeze, his lips purple from sampling grapes, to the time where that very laughter and smiles disappear to smoothen into a stone face. After the death of his father, Diluc has become reserved, cold, and rather distant. Bitter.

You two were close, once.

You two had a bond that many could not quite interpret— it was as clear as day that you both trusted each other fully, but each always had secrets to hide. Some say proximity is the reason why both of you got close — your manors were near to each other, but truthfully, it was as simple as it was: you two had the same social standing. Both you and Diluc were, for each of their families, supposed to be close for the sake of future alliances and unions, but the friendship soon turned genuine, only for it to crumble under the weight of guilt and grief.

Only for it to crumble on the day Crepus died.

You still remember it vividly; in all its sickening, gruesome, heart wrenching detail. You were fortunate enough not to witness it, but etched in your memory, all you can think of is Diluc’s ravaged expression when he trembled before his father’s corpse.

You were helpless then. You could have extended an arm, you could have done something.

You didn’t.

But now would be different. You know the archons have it in for him when the incident happens the same way it happened with his father: via a carriage incident. 

You laugh then at its bitter irony.

Bandits come, a whole load of them, and this time Diluc fights while you are there helpless once again, trembling when you hear the clash of swords and arrows. When you hear his claymore smash against flesh. You don’t have a vision. Diluc has. You don’t have any particular skill in handling a sword; Jean has tried to teach you once, but it has failed. Your brain may be quick and witty, but your steps aren’t. 

The bandits have delusions. The archons really are cruel.

You see it before he does. There’s a burst of electric power that he's battling, the elementals clashing with each other—you’re still lagging behind, barely missing the whizzing arrows that skim your flesh, your heart wrenching as you see Diluc’s pained expression. You know what he’s thinking of, and it isn’t you. His memories are reverting back to his father’s death. His birthday. And perhaps that’s why his usual sharpness is wearied down.

You see the sword about to plunge his back before he does.

You scream to tell him.

Your body moves before anything.

Your fingers fumble to clasp the fabric of your clothes, before you tug him out of the way. You feel the weight of a sword against your back; you feel the way it slices through your skin before it presses against your flesh. You taste blood on your tongue, before a myriad of colors burst out; crimson, carmine. All the shades of red. You wobble then, choking out blood, before you stumble. You hear a few slices; razor, swift sharp ones. Then the last of the assailants falls down, and you are made aware that your decision has been the right one.

Diluc has survived. 

You stumble. You feel your body hit the ground. Murkiness runs your vision.

“[Name],” you hear a soft, whispering voice carry to your ears. You try your best to cling onto the words. But pain is burning within you—it’s ironic, how they feel more scorching than Diluc’s flames have ever felt. You try your best to swallow down your pants and your pained noises, but it ends up slipping from your mouth in broken, mottled syllables.

Your blurry vision makes out a face.

He cannot be Diluc. He’s crying. And the last time you have seen Duluc cry is when—

Oh.

“Don’t cry,” you say weakly. “Don’t cry, Diluc. I’m sorry I wasn’t of much help.” You try to reach out to his cheek. You regret it a split second afterwards because blood stains his cheeks wet from tears. You end up smearing red all over his face.

“Why?” Diluc says, and it sounds guttural, like the words have been punched out from him. “Why, [Name]?” You hear a flurry of footsteps behind. You assume it’s some surviving witness who has gone to call for backup. But you doubt you’ll survive.

You don’t even know why. To begin with, you aren’t even sure if you are in love with him. The swirling butterflies that flutter about when you see him tells him you are, but society’s expectations push those down. You have been in love with him for as long as you can remember; you have loved him. You have annotated every inch of him down to your memory, every contour, every bit. In your dreams he visits you, smiling sweetly. And you try to remember him when you wake up, trying to pretend that he’s still there, that he’s no longer bitter. 

“I don’t know.” Your words come out broken, punctuated by the gurgling of blood from your windpipe. 

It’s a half truth. You love him. You don’t know if you do.

“I’m sorry.”

Diluc is sobbing now. It’s uncharacteristic of him. You are brought back to the night when you saw him break down in front of his father’s corpse. And you aren’t yet a corpse: your heart is still beating faintly, your lips are still moving, your body is still trembling. “There’s a lot of things I wanted to tell you, Diluc.”

“Don’t die,” he pleads fervently. His lips graze your forehead, then—and before you know it, he’s embracing you, his tears wetting your shoulder. His begging is childish. Does he not know that the Archons have long abandoned their people? Does he know the sky is empty, and that no amount of pleads can bring a person back to life? You doubt so. “Don’t die, [Name]. I love you.”

He loves you. You smile. He loves you. Words have never felt so sweet befor, and it curbs the bitterness of death upon your tongue. “I love you, [Name]. I love you, so don’t die.”

He loves his father too. But still his father had perished. Similar to you.

“I’m so happy to hear that,” you smile weakly. Your finger starts to fall. “I’m really happy to hear that.”

You don’t have enough time to say those three words back, but it’s fine.

Your actions already did. 

ZHONGLI

note(s); reader is an adepti, takes place during archon war

A God has seen their fair share of grieving. So have Adepti. Some come with age—it’s normal for mortal alliances to die before those who are immortal, after all. There is also the Archon War, which has already torn away Zhongli’s beloved companion, Guizhong. And everyday he chokes down the bile in his throat and continues to annihilate and fight. He’s always been built for this, after all, he’s an Archon. He’s a ruthless one at that, known for his brutality and his power. And everyday he looks at you and can only pray again and again to Celestia, that you remain alive.

Guizhong and you have both been his favorites since you two have met. It was Guizhong and you first, before Zhongli met you. Both you and Guizhong were best friends; almost; like sisters and brothers. Guizhong was gentle and sweet, reprimanding at times. You were sweet too, but could be more uncouth. Strong language littered your sentences at times, and Zhongli would see it then; the way Guizhong tugged at you to scold you, or the way you would smile at her. Brother and sister.

Naturally, when Zhongli grew close to Guizhong, he grew close to you. It was funny to see that you hardly knew much about history, though Guizhong clearly loved it. And so it was almost a cycle. Whatever Guizhong taught Zhongli, he taught you. Guizhong had remarked a few times, what an incredible person he was to make even you listen to facts you had earlier called boring.

(“You mellowed a lot, Morax,” Guizhong had told him once. “[Name] mellowed you. You really do care alot for him, don’t you?”

“I suppose.”)

Gods aren’t meant to be mellowed. They are meant to be powerful. Strong enough emotionally so as to not bat an eye when it comes to deaths.

But everything falls apart when Guizhong dies.

He sees you fall to the ground, sobbing and sobbing and crying at the loss of your beloved sister. He sees the way  you touch her statue, turned to stone, cradling her face and wishing you were touching soft skin, instead of cold stone. Not sister by blood, but sister in name. He sees the way you break apart after that; Zhongli feels a human sense of emptiness and pain that comes with her death.

It’s all right, he told himself repeatedly. In his grief he has started to flood himself with reassurances. I still have [Name]. I still have [Name]. I still have [Name]. 

He sees the way you lose yourself in battle after that. Your attacks become sloppy, you become more careless. You become more injured. Zhongli never bothered with your skill. You were talented and strong enough. But now he finds himself protecting you the times you stumble, the times you start to choke out sobs during battle, the times you go wild and bloodthirsty against those you assume have contributed to her death. 

Guizhong has said once that he loved you. Zhongli never bothered to think about that. He assumed he would know it himself, when time came. He didn’t need to worry about being in what mortals called a relationship—he would get this war finished with you, become a mortal, and love you freely. It didn’t matter if you didn’t love him. Zhongli could love you at a safe distance. It would all be all right. 

He never imagined your declaration of love towards him would come so easily and devastatingly.

Zhongli sees you struck by a burst of elemental power before anything. He sees the way you shoved him inside; he sees the irony. He was so preoccupied with watching you. He hadn’t seen the enemy crawl up to him or nearly kill him. Like how he was watching you, you were watching him. And now his care has killed you.

“[Name].”

There’s an avalanche of emotions. First, he’s furious. He will leach out the killer and will inflict a thousand times more pain on them. Second, he’s heartbroken. He’s terrified of losing you. He can feel your life ebbing away with each passing moment, and he has seen enough wounds to know no healer can save you. He feels your pulse thrumming beneath your skin and he knows you’re dying.

You smile. It looks more like a grimace. “Just survive this goddamn war.”

Zhongli isn’t sure if he will. He feels like he might kill himself, that he might lay his body down next to yours, so that after death your souls would be intermingled, of sorts. It sounds romantic, but there’s absolutely nothing romantic about your death. He does what the Gods are not supposed to do. He feeds into his humanity; he cries.

“Afterwards, just live as a human. I don’t know. Be a dusty collector of antiques. Be a funeral planner or something strange like that. Just live, okay? You look like you want to die.”

You continue to ramble on. Your sentences become connected with each other. Your eyes start to flutter. Your words become faint and faltering.

“I can’t live with you,” he whispers. “First Guizhong, then you…” it’s all his fault. He should have seen it. He should have been more aware. He should—he should…

It’s too late. You’re dead, and he mourns just like a human; sobbing, aching, and dying a little inside.

For a brief moment Zhongli isn’t a God. 

hope everyone liked it! it’s my first post so im apprehensive haha be sure to like/reblog & leave a comment if u can

[poppy-metal]

gawwwddd i was thinking about you being their girl best friend and patrick and art haaattting any guy you date…. constantly talking shit about them trying to get you to break up etc etc……. art thinks its just bc he’s a good friend trying to protect you from these scumbag guys you keep seeing….. patrick wants to fuck your brains out….. (art too but he won’t admit it to himself….)

they ask - patrick mostly - the most insanely invasive questions under the guise of just wanting to gossip with you. they always tell you gross details about their hookups, fairs fair.

"he didn't eat you out? what a fucking chode. how did you even cum then?" like why do you want to know so badly about how im coming with another man? why are you so outraged on my behalf? why is art chiming in when you reply "does it matter? its hard to like... get there anyway so why make a fuss," with his own two cents on the matter - "it matters to me. i mean, when im with a girl i want her to cum. its like, the best part of the whole thing."

and patrick is nodding like, "see he gets it. its like - when a girls pussy -" oh my god, you're flushing you cant believe they're talking about this so casually, even if you're friends. "- clamps down on my dick when she cums, its fucking fireworks, man."

"well thats wonderful for you patrick - and you art. im so glad you know more about pussy than i do, truly."

"we just want you to have a good time." art tells you, in that stupid soft voice of his. "you know - actually cum for once."

patrick blows out smoke from his cig. he grins at you, wolfish. digs his foot into your hip - "yeah, we care for your mental health." he prods you further. "and the well being of your tight little p-"

"okay!" you swat his foot off you. "jesus you're like two big older brothers.... so fucking nosy...."

you continue to grumble under your breath and patrick and art share a look. patrick tries not to smirk around his cigarette and art licks his lips. they both have to reach down to adjust themselves.

"brothers, huh." patrick says sagely.

"huh." art echoes.

patrick thinks the way he'd show you what an orgasm feels like on his tongue isn't very brotherly of him, but he digresses.

[aveloka-draws]

I would like to preface this with an apology for the Asgardian-sized wall of text I want to throw at you. If you've ever seen the movie Hot Fuzz, I just had a massive brain wave in regards to that recent interaction you made between the Lamb and Theon. So here we go, lots to unpack.

What I find very curious about that little interaction was how unintentionally massive its impact was. It was just a short exchange between the two but the ramifications could be severe. Whether the Lamb meant to or not, they might have made the situation for Theon significantly worse or perhaps more accurately, far more unstable and given their own current nature, that is not too surprising. Theon was suspicious that Leshy is hiding something and the Lamb says 'Do you want me to tell you what it is?'. The Lamb just confirmed that Leshy is hiding something. Now in all fairness the Lamb could be lying from Theon's perspective. Getting some kicks out of their followers and seeing the madness unfold is becoming of them. However that likelihood is vastly nill. The Lamb seems to like Theon for starters and thus would not be inclined to lie in the first place. Plus regardless of the Lamb's intents, they are the Leader. So by default, Theon is inclined to believe their word.

Thus with that statement, the situation is already far worse. Now Theon knows Leshy is in fact hiding something, and his brain can start to work the pieces out. He is not a stupid cat by any means, and he can already tell that the area of soreness relies around Darkwood. That is where Leshy seems to clam up. He already suspects they were a disciple and given Theon's nightmares, this narrows his suspicions down. If Theon wished to really investigate this down to its roots, he could go behind the scenes to attempt to acquire a tiny dot of ichor. He wouldn't need much, all he'd need is a single drop to taste. Hopefully in a dose that would not burn his insides like those of the uninitiated. Whether that meant striking a deal with a disciple or through the Lamb, who knows how. But if he tasted it he could compare it against the taste of Leshy's 'odd' blood and tell how similar they tasted. If the taste was close, Theon would have his answer and from there the harrowing realities only close in with two distinct scenarios. Bad case, Leshy was in fact a disciple of the God of Chaos. Worst case, he was that God. Thing is, if Theon was really paying attention he'd have his answer without Leshy saying anything at all.

Whether Leshy realizes it or not, he completely revealed his identity by waiting to tell Theon. Leshy waited this long to tell Theon anything, by this point they have grown extremely close. Had Leshy told Theon who he was, shortly after they met or starting getting close, the impact would be far less significant. Theon would have been shocked, gone through his reactions, and likely distanced himself. However, now they're both madly in love. By waiting this long Leshy has single-handedly sown as much Chaos into Theon's life as he possibly could, thus betraying his efforts and revealing his true nature. Theon has now an impossibly difficult situation to contend with. He has been in love with the very god that he was to be sacrificed for. In all technical details there really is no reason why Theon cannot continue to love him. Leshy would never hurt Theon intentionally nor do something truly egregious against him. However the very fact that Leshy has put Theon in the situation where he has to relive his nightmares everyday is only made worse by the inescapable chaos that surrounds Leshy. Whenever Theon gazes upon him, he knows chaos will follow. Suddenly all of his actions will enter a new light. The five-finger fillet, the midnight hi-jinks, other follows becoming mischievous. It turns from, "Leshy is just a bit out there." to, "He is Chaos incarnate." Theon, should he continue by Leshy's side, would have to live with that everyday for the rest of his life. No matter how much Leshy attempts to change himself it's impossible to escape the chaos, it's akin to commanding a Sunflower to cease being a plant. Chaos is in Leshy's nature. Asking him to subdue the chaos would mean he ceases to be Leshy. It's the classic paradox of the very thing that drew Theon in in the first place is now the most painful reality.

Whether the divorce truly happens or not, as our expectations could be subverted, Theon will never be the same afterward. He will have to find some way to make peace with the nightmares one way or another, and accept that chaos will follow him no matter how good a life he lives. It is quite fascinating too. Leshy is now responsible for damning a second loved one to Hell.

I thank you again for your amazing work and taking the time to read this.

Dont apologize i loved this i agree thank you for the asgardian sized wall of text hshsh

[blacknedsoul-blog]

An unnecessarily detailed analysis of the (re)encounter between Annabel and "Leo" (part II)

Evil tongues say I've had this shit in the oven for several weeks because I bought the fast pass on episode 105 and smoked the whole season one afternoon when I was bored as a fucking oyster about to climb the walls. Don't listen to them, they're telling the truth.

So, yeah, people. We had a flashback. One that comes right after the last one we had. Aside from the fact that we finally know a little more about Theo, I want to focus on the direct sequel to a review I did a while back. So let's get started.

I'm still trying to decide if Annabel is complaining just because she had to get off her ass or because "Leo's" room being so far away from hers is, ahem, inconvenient. Another detail that someone mentioned on the discord, is that Annabel does this thing where she grabs her dress when she is trying to maintain the performance.

...Ah, they put... they put Annabel in Lenore's old room. Yeah, that must have been uncomfortable as shit. 

Okay. This is something I kind of suspected in her first stolen moment at the Arboreum, but I think this confirms it for me: yes, Lenore teasing Annabel is a way of expressing annoyance without being directly hurtful. 

Raise your hand if you enjoy seeing "Miss Proper Lady" lose her fucking temper. Bonus points if she deserves it. 

Lenore, I don't know if taking your clothes off is the best way to get Annabel to stay on topic. I do want to emphasize her face in that moment, though, like she knows Annabel cares about her, but she's still angry at her, and pressuring her to drop the mask is literally the only way she has to express it. I like it because it's consistent with her stolen moment in the Arboreum. 

"Admire this magnificent door made of door. Yes, an excellent door. Wonderful door. Eyes on the door, Annabel, eyes on the door and not on your crush taking off his jacket in front of you. Also, don't think too much about the fact that if anyone sees this, everything that is important to you will fall apart".  

Pause. Where did we see Annabel say that? Ah, yes. Well, if we had any doubts about posh besties, this confirms it. 

I want to linger on the faces of both of them in this scene because, for the love of Nyarlathotep, they are painful to watch knowing that this will end with both dead. 

Yes, Annabel, this "perhabs" was very VERY serious. 

I'm sure this is the second time in Annabel's life that someone has asked her if she wants something. And it's the same person. Ouch.

Does anyone else in the squad find it disturbing that ANNABEL is concerned about moral issues? 

That's not how Kabedons are made, missy. 

LENORE, LOOK AT THE FUCKING FACE SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU WITH, SHE WOULDN'T BE "PRETENDING TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU", SHE'S EATING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HAND RIGHT NOW. IF SHE WASN'T AFRAID OF JAIL AND WASN'T SO VICTORIAN, SHE'D BE ASKING IF SHE COULD GET IN YOUR PANTS.   

Okey, I need to know how this went from "pff, it's not a real marriage, we're both women!" to "I'm gonna fuckin' whore myself with Nyarlathotep Tumblrsexymen to come get you, baby. Shit, if these two die without having this conversation, I'm going to shoot myself in the mouth with a medieval arquebus. 

I like this moment because it tells you two interesting things: one is that Annabel must have a complicated relationship with her father, she cares for him and maybe feels he loves her in his own way, but at the same time Ira is her jailer, the main culprit of the golden cage she's trapped in. Another thing: we know Lenore used to care about her father, but come on, after everything that happened, I doubt she gives the man a second thought. 

...I wrote practically the exact same dialog in a fanfic. Actually, in the first Nevermore fanfic I ever wrote, when the fuck did my bullshit ever come true? 

I was racking my brain for a while about why Annabel keeps doing this. Like, look at this shit, even Ada or Morella would be able to see that this is bullshit. And I think I have an idea why. 

I think Annabel started to figure out how to make this work even before she came in. Maybe she's not all in, but at least the idea is tempting. The thing is, she's putting a lot on the line here: her life, her relationship with her father (the only family member we know of), what little freedom she has.

And that means she has to put her chips on the right person. She knows how the social game works, she knows how to manipulate the stakes of her hand, maybe she even thinks she knows how to get around those pesky legal snags when they come up. 

But she's not cunning, she's not quick-thinking, she lacks determination, and she's definitely not brave. Lenore can wrap herself in big dreams and beautiful words all she wants, but if she can't make up for Annabel's weaknesses, it's a losing bet from the start. On top of that, she has to be able to read her: in Victorian engagements, even your pet was into that shit, so sneaking away to plan things would be more of a rare privilege than a constant, her playmate has to be able to understand her perfectly, because they can't waste valuable time explaining minutiae. They have to be on the same page to the millimeter. 

Annabel is a player. And as such, she knows that in games where you have a partner, the key to winning isn't playing your own cards or chips well, it's being able to synchronize with your partner to give each other better plays until one of you manages to win. 

And if I had to bet, I think that is the Lenore that Annabel wants back: the Lenore who can read her, the Lenore who can get under her skin and know her true intentions even when Annabel is wearing the most perfect mask. The Lenore who can smile boldly and tell her that everything will be all right. 

Of course, Lenore passed the test. With a more than perfect score. 

The chapter ends with Lenore giving Annabel the final decision: if she sees no reason to stay, she won't, and she can assure her that she'll be fine. But if she's in, she'll do everything in her power to make it work. 

This was the moment that tore me up inside because it made me drop the shingle of sad, sad shit. 

Conclusions

And here's why I decided to post this analysis after the season.  

One thing this episode told me was that I was wrong about one thing: the relationship between these two isn't exactly what it used to be. What this episode also told me was that, despite everything, the two of them seemed to be able to communicate and find common ground, to make deals, to give each other choices. Shit we don't see anymore in their time in Nevermore. 

And with good reason.

In Nevermore Annabel and Lenore are adrift. No memories, no identity, no bonds. As if that weren't enough, both are terrified: Annabel has built all her means of survival around a context that she masters perfectly, and in Nevermore she doesn't know what's going on; on the other hand, Lenore's bravery and cunning are qualities that turn from virtues to flaws in a context where every single one of her decisions has repercussions for the people around her; she's willing to take anything, but not what happens to the people she loves. 

These two idiots know only one thing: that they love each other. And for Annabel and Lenore, loving means protecting. They have to try to protect each other because they really love each other. They love each other so much that they can't.

Because the only way for Annabel to protect Lenore is to be the queen of the board, to be the piece that everyone wants to get out of the way because her presence is too much of an inconvenience, because if she's good at anything,  it's dazzling so hard that no one is able to really see her. On the other hand, the only place Lenore can protect Annabel is by her side, she won't have a Spectre, but she's willing to do what it takes to take care of her if she stays where she can fight for her. 

But that won't happen because of the irreconcilable conflict caused by the memory (false or not, in practice it doesn't matter) that the Deans showed Annabel. She can't tell her that, she won't tell her that, how could she? It would tear Lenore apart and at worst alter her memories. But on the other hand, Lenore obviously wants to know, because she sees that Annabel is suffering, she wants to be there, she wants her to let her comfort her, to be by her side to help her sort this out, and all her pleas fall on deaf ears for reasons she can't even fathom.

But without realizing it, in all this devotion and accompanying fear, Annabel and Lenore are repeating the same controlling patterns of those who tried to save the other in life. 

Annabel is doing the same thing Thaddeus did when he got Lenore a fiancé, the same thing the doctors did when they kept her drugged 24/7 as a treatment even though she was sick, dare I say the same thing Theo did: assuming she knows better than she does what's good for her. "Protecting" her, even when that happens to be the agency Lenore is desperately trying to have over her life after being deprived of her freedom.

And on the other hand...this.

By taking full responsibility for what happened, Lenore is doing the same thing as Ira and all the people we meet in Annabel's life: denying her agency as an individual. Annabel is not a naive brat who was seduced by sweet words, she is a grown woman who was very, very clear about what the risks were. That they both ended up dead is partly her fault, but by turning this affair into "if I hadn't gone looking for you," Lenore completely invalidates Annabel's feelings, desires, and choices. 

A relationship that was once built on respect for choice and shared decision-making has now become a power game that neither can win, because one of the most important foundations of their relationship is that they are both equals. 

I'd like to end this on a more positive note, but...uh...well, the thing is, I don't. Like, that they're going to reconcile, they're going to reconcile, you know? But for that to happen, somebody's got to give them a massive punch like, something that tears them apart so they realize how fucking bad they are do-

You know what? Yeah, that might do it.

[bobbertskeetz]

Derek Morgan x Female!Reader

maybe something where reader goes into labor while Derek is away on a case or reader surprises Derek with a visit to the office and brings their new born along with her ( kinds how Haley did with Jack in the earlier seasons )

AHHHH!! love this one, thank you very much for the request. Actually thinking of combining both of these into a two part imagine?? For now though, enjoy panicked Derek <3

𝙪𝙣𝙥𝙡𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙙.𝙢 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Summary: Despite his desperate attempts to be by your side 24/7, Derek is convinced the universe is out to get him during the final days of your pregnancy

Themes/Warnings: pregnant!reader, fiance!derek, general themes of the show e.g unsubs, graphic cases (not in depth detail) fem!reader, fluff fluff Fluff!!! angst if you squint...

"Don't-"

"Derek please."

"Sit! Ah ah, stay... good girl, you get a treat."

A quick sloppy kiss is planted on your left cheek while Derek holds you down by the shoulders, trapping you in place in the nest of pillows and blankets he created to accomodate your swollen stomach and achy back. Your fiance stands behind you, knees kneeling on the arm rest, while he massages the knot growing at the base of your neck, while you lightly scoff.

"Speak to me like that again and I will knife you."

"Easy Mama, you shouldn't model such a hostile attitude for the little man!"

Reaching up behind you, you grasp at his neck gently, bringing him back down to your level for a kiss. The kiss goodbye which you had previously attempted to get up and give him, before he left for God knows how long.

A cheeky grin grew on his lips as you moved to his ear with a whisper;

"She, will be the most well-mannered child ever born, taking after her mother..."

"Bet?"

"Shut up," another kiss lands on his lips, "Hotch is waiting."

Derek lets a low groan, one saturated in frustration, slowly spill into your shared kisses. Eyebrows furrowed together, accompanied by a small frown, he allows his head to lull to one side, rubbing the pad of his thumb tenderly along your jawline.

"Don't dare move from this couch, Sweetheart. Not without Garcia or your mother here to help you out."

"Der-"

"Humour me gorgeous?"

A final kiss, and a huff;

"Fine."

You can't find it in yourself to feel any sort of remorse for agreeing to his terms as his blinding toothy grin leaves a fuzzy warmth budding in the pit of your stomach. What harm will a few days on the sofa do you anyhow?

Hotch was growing impatient, although, trying his best to remain understanding. He knew how hard it was, how the guilt of leaving your pregnant partner at home eats you alive. However, these were the demands of the job. One last nagging phone call from Hotch, and Derek was half way out the door, reminding you of the meals in the fridge (kindly prepared that morning by Penelope) and of the vitamin supplements you have to take before you go to bed.

With a swift, yet endearing exchange of I love you's, Derek was finally on his way to Florida. He knew it was silly, hating an arsonist more for taking him away from his growing family, than the actual crimes committed. Yet, these were the demands of matrimony and fatherhood.

--

Three days of couch-rotting down, and you were verging on insanity. Every slight movement left a series of uncomfortable spasms in your joints, the braxon hicks were something serious, and you constantly felt as though you had a gaping hole in your stomach, almost as if you were riding a never ending rollercoaster. Baby Morgan needed to make an appearence soon, or she would have to be evicted.

With twenty minutes left on the clock before your mother was scheduled to come and help you to the bath, you awoke from your half-sleep with a start. Why were your sweatpants sticking to your thighs?

Yes, Derek forbid you from moving unless absolutely necessary, however, peeing yourself was definitely classed as an emergancy. Except, you hadn't. There, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, sat a weird bloody substance on the line of your underwear.

Fuck. Me.

Immediately you called your fiance. Should you be calling him first? What's he going to do from Florida? This was a bad idea, he's busy after all... But, before your anxiety could hang up the phone, the one voice you so desperately needed sang down the line like a prayer.

"Hey gorgeous girl, how's my little famil-"

"Baby! Now- baby is- Help."

"What?! Sweetheart hold on, are you sure?"

"Honey, my mucus plug is very much unplugged and my abdomen is being ripped apart."

A sharp wail escaped you as a dull ache made itself known in the pits of your cervix, and then the anger came.

"Derek. I need you. Now."

"Everything is going to be just fine sweetheart, let me call-"

"No! Don't leave me, please don't leave me."

"Okay angel, I'm right here." His assurance soothed you for the time being, both of you awaiting your mother's arrival. And it was safe to say, Derek was sick to his stomach.

--

Every damn day. Every day he tried his hardest to be there, especially nearing the end of your third trimester. His biggest fear was accidentally leaving you alone when that one awaited moment came; and his greatest nightmare had just come true.

"I should've been there Reid!"

Spencer nodded, sympathetically, "You couldn't have predicted this."

"Well, I should've. Fuck. It's just exactly what I should've predicted" He felt as though he could cry, and stifling a sniffle he continued, "Of course the second I leave that's when the little guy decides to make an appearance."

"Murphy's law! Essentially everything that could go wrong will go wrong. Named after Edward A. Murphy Jr, for centuries this belief has plagued several societies-"

"Spence." JJ shook her head gently, nudging it towards Derek's defeated countenance.

Grimacing, Spencer blushed and tried again, "Morgan, honestly you couldn't have done any more than you already have."

JJ then chimed in, "She's not holding this against you, shit happens, and you are getting ready to go home right now! I mean - you got the call a half hour ago, and already the jet's almost ready"

Opening his mouth the respond, Derek was cut off by Hotch swinging the precint's office door open, informing him that he could go home.

"Jesus, that fast?"

He was already rushing out of the room when he heard the discussion between JJ and Hotch,

"Special treatment for the family man."

Family man. He was a family man now. Non-commital SSA Derek Morgan had a bride-to-be waiting for him, and a baby on the way. And he could never be happier.

--

Within hours, Derek was bulldozing his way through the ward, stopping every nurse who was unfortunate enough to get in his way, to ask for your room. When he finally found you, he all but fell through the door with panic.

"Is everyone okay?" Kiss. "Hi baby!" Kiss. "Are you okay?! Is baby?"

The tenderness with which he held your face immediately soothed every anxiety within your body, even only momentarily. He was here, he made it. After an elongated silence, you shook yourself into action, reminding yourself that Derek was not a mind reader, despite what his job would lead you to believe.

"Everyone's okay honey, little rascal is still inside me," you replied softly, almost inaudibly, the fear felt previously when you had first called him suddenly returning, "You made it?"

His heart lurched and eyes softened at the vulnerability in your voice, and Derek finally took in the sheet white anxious expression settled on your face. Gently, he clasped his warm hand around your own, careful to avoid tugging at your drip, and dropped a sweet kiss to the cracks of your knuckles.

"I made it sweet girl." Another kiss, then travelling to your trembling lips, "I'll always make it doll. That, I can promise you forever."

[monster-disaster]

Can I request a bad boy Biker dullahan with a sweet chubby fem reader. He is teaching her how to ride his bike from behind but is also making it very hard when he's groping her breasts, rubbing her thighs, and grinding his cock against her thick ass. Slight bit of exhibitionism.

dullahan!Rip x human!Reader Good to know: smut

"Are you sure it is a good idea?" You ask your boyfriend for what seems like the millionth time. Your words are muffled by the way you nibble on your lower lip with a worried crease between your brows.

A low chuckle comes from behind you. "Why wouldn't it be a good idea?" He asks back. One of his motorcycle-gloved hands lands on your shoulder. The black leather is cold and soft on your bare skin as it slips up to your neck, smoothing your hair out of the way.

"I don't want to ruin it."

He laughs again. You can feel the rumble of his chest as it presses against your back to steer you closer to the bike. "How a little thing like you could ruin it, love?" Amusement laces his question.

You know he is right. At the beginning of your relationship, you called his bike 'the Beast,' and the name stuck for good reason. (You didn't know about the significance of naming a biker's bike, but it's for another story.) It's a massive thing with black and silver details. Its sides are like ribcages, hugging the bike from wheel to wheel with an eerie green light filtering through them.

"Hop on, love," Rip says, patting your hips when you say nothing. "It will be fun." His voice carries a dark undertone, but you decide to ignore it for now. You are too focused on the Beast in front of you.

"You act like you never sat on it before," your boyfriend teases while grabbing your hips to haul you onto the bike. He moves you easily.

A high squeak leaves your lips, and you grab onto the grip the moment you can reach them. The silvery ribs are cold against your legs as you adjust yourself on the leather seat.

"A warning would have been nice," you groan.

The bike dips a little when he sits down behind you. His long legs close around you, pressing to your skirt-clad curves.

"Next time," he promises, but you know he is lying. He has too much fun with putting you anywhere he wants to. "And now, go!"

"Rip!" You scowl, looking back at him over your shoulder.

He wears his usual black jacket that is illuminated by the green, misty light coming from his neck where his head should be. Instead, his head, a skull with the same light in the eye sockets, rests in one of his hands.

"Fine. Then let's do this step by step." He says it like it's a bad thing to do. "Here, put it down in front of you."

The fact that he can simply offer you his head still shocks you, even though you are touched by the gesture every time he trusts you with it.

Stupid male had a real laugh at you when he threw it at you for the first time, and you almost got a heart attack, afraid you would drop or hurt him somehow.

Holding his skull softly in your hands, you put it on the dashboard, making sure it won't fall off.

"What's next?" You ask him.

"Start the engine." Even though his skull is in front of you, his voice comes from behind you.

When you do nothing, he leans closer. "Come on, you ride with me all the time."

"In the back," you reason. " I never see over your shoulder."

"You are lucky you are cute," he sighs. "Turn the key."

You follow his instructions carefully until the engine awakens underneath you with a soft rumble. You can feel its power between your legs, vibrating and rippling through your bones.

"What's next?" You ask him with a bit more confidence than you started a few minutes ago. You can totally do this. Who knows, maybe you will get your own bike too. A pink one to match Rip's Beast.

"Slow down, tiger," the dullahan laughs as if reading your thoughts. "First, you need to get used to it. You are not my backpack now, you have to get to know the power between your legs."

He presses you down on the black leather seat by your hips. His fingers dig into your thick flesh while his chest presses to you back some more.

"Do you feel it?" He asks, amused.

Your lips go dry the more you feel the engine under you. It purrs between your legs, going straight to your pussy.

"You have to be confident and purposeful to handle a beast like this," Rip continues, making your hips rock just barely. The small movement punches a sudden gasp out of your mouth. Your clit starts to throb and ache at the friction.

"Wha-what are you doing?" You ask him, voice already hoarse.

"I am teaching you."

"It doesn't feel like it."

He hums. You know, if he could, he would grin.

"Then how does it feel?" Rip teases. His hands from your hips go to your breasts. Your light summer dress does nothing to stop his wandering fingers.

"It feels like something we shouldn't do in front of the open garage door," you tell him. Your eyes snap from his skull to the outside world. The street is quiet, but it's still daytime.

"Then we should hurry."

You frown. His thumbs ghost over your nipples through the thin fabric. "With what?"

"Making you cum."

It was not his original plan, though. He really wanted to give you a taste of how driving a bike feels like, but the moment he sat down behind you, he forgot everything. The feel of your soft flesh and generous curves tend to do that to him. He isn't complaining, though, especially not when he can have his hands on your tits, playing with their weight while rubbing your nipples until they are hard and sensitive under the thick pads of his gloves.

"Rip!" You squeal when he grabs the collar of your dress and pulls it down. Your breasts spill out into his waiting hands.

"No bra? Naughty girl." He tugs on your nipple, making you jerk back against his chest. He cages you against himself and the still-running bike.

"What if someone sees?" You ask him with a slight worry, though you do nothing to stop him.

"You think too much," he says, rubbing your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "But you really have to hurry if you want to cum before the others arrive."

"Oh god!" You close your eyes from the sensation and the reminder at the same time.

"So come on," he says, leaving your chest to grab your skirt. Your face contorts into a grimace at the loss of his touch. "Sure you don't want them to see you like this."

"Please," you breathe. Your hips grind against the leather seat, searching for the constant vibration on your throbbing center.

His touch and his words lit something in your belly, something demanding and burning.

"Oh, look at that," he coos. He pulls up your skirt until the gathered fabric rests at the base of your thighs. His hands smooth up and down on your flesh hugging his bike. "Fuck," Rip grunts. "If I would have known your legs would look this good around my bike, I would have made you sit on it all the time."

"Rip," you gasp his name. "Hurry!"

He laughs, letting his hard dick grind against the small of your back through his jeans from behind. "Why, sweetheart? You don't want my friends to see you like this? Tits out, legs spread open? Your panties are drenched." His fingertip grazes over the wet spot, making your muscles twitch at the cruel teasing. "I bet my seat is wet, too."

Embarrassment and arousal burn your cheeks. He is probably right. "R-rip," you complain.

"As you wish, love," he says, pulling your panties aside with one hand. "Let me see that pretty cunt."

You lean against his chest, spreading your legs even more at the sides of his bike. Rip explores your folds, stroking over your soft flesh until he reaches your clit. He rolls slow circles on the sensitive bud, making you mewl with need. Your hips grind against his hand, demanding more friction while he hums and laughs at your despair.

"Fuck," Rip says. He lets go of your panties to put his hand back on your breast. He squeezes and gropes you to his heart's content until your back arches, and you press yourself even more into his large palm. "Look at you, my good girl, being an absolute slut on my bike." His words punch a cry out of your dry lips, and Rip's hips buck against your back. You are not the only one affected by his words. "Did you think about it before? Cumming on my bike? Grinding your wet pussy on it? Do you know a few of my friends will smell it? They will know what you did, sweetheart. They will know I had your pretty cunt soaking my seat."

"Rip," you gasp his name. "Don't-" You shake your head but say nothing else. His thick, gloved-covered fingers prod at your entrance, gathering your wetness to use it as a lube.

"Don't what?" He asks, chuckling. "Don't tell the truth? You don't want to hear how my friends know your scent? Why not? It's fucking delicious. I wish I could taste you."

His words send you spiraling. Your muscles are taut, and a thin layer of sweat glistens on your heated skin as you stare outside the garage door. The street is still empty, but you can't help but imagine his friends arriving while you are still on Rip's bike, exposed and at the edge of your orgasm. The thought terrifies and excites you at the same time.

"Fuck," he grunts. The dullahan doesn't waste more time. He pushes two of his fingers inside you. The rough texture of his glove rubs over your sensitive walls, stretching you in the process.

"Fuck," you agree. "Fuckfuckfuck. More. Please, Rip."

"So eager," he hums with satisfaction. "You can't wait to cum around my fingers, huh, sweetheart?"

You don't even bother with answering. You can only moan and groan as he pushes his finger deeper, prodding and stroking your tightening walls around his digits. His thumb is on your clit, rubbing over it the whole time.

"Cum around my fingers, love," he urges you. "Soak my gloves so I can smell your pussy every time I go for a ride."

Your blood burns in your veins as your walls flutter around his fingers. The heavy coil in your stomach gets tighter and tighter with each passing second.

"Maybe I shouldn't let you cum," the male behind you teases. "Maybe I should wait for the others so they can see you stuffed with my fingers. I bet Rust would die for your tits."

Of course, they are just words. He is much more possessive than letting anyone touch you or see you, but it has the desired effect on you. You grab onto his knees as your whole body spams, and you cry out his name repeatedly.

"Cum, Y/N," he commands impatiently. "Fuck, Y/N, soak my gloves, pretty girl."

Your pussy flutters and tightens around his fingers as you fall over the edge. Your vision gets blurry as you stare into the skull's empty eye sockets in front of you on the dashboard. You know it's just your imagination, but it grins back at you. Rip taps your clit several times, making your body stretch and arch. Your voice is high and hoarse as you moan. His name rolls off your tongue like a prayer.

When you slump back against Rip's chest with his arms keeping you on the seat securely, he hums and whispers into your ears the whole time. The eerie green mist lingering around his neck is cool and soothing on your sweaty skin.

"Good girl," he says. "So fucking pretty."

"Rip." You need several seconds to find your voice. "Maybe I should get my own bike."

The dullahan laughs. "We will see, love. You need much more lessons." The thought excites you, and he chuckles again with amusement. "Real lessons."

"I would like a pink one."

"Of course, love."

[yaralulu]

I’ve seen a few people confused on if Feyre really manipulated Tamlin and Lucien into distrusting each other by alluding to some kind of affair between her and Lucien so let’s talk about it.

It’s important to note that Tamlin and Lucien’s relationship was already rocky at this point so it wasn’t that hard for Feyre to cause tension and distrust between them.But still she caused some irreparable damage to their friendship that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for her manipulations.

Feyre was intentionally being more handsy and close to Lucien because she wanted to stir up distrust and suspicion not just between Tamlin and Lucien,but amongst the Spring Court.By alluding to an affair between the High Lord’s emissary and his consort,the very foundations of the court started to crack.Also Tamlin without Lucien by his side is just a recipe for disaster and Feyre knew that.

Feyre wanted other people to notice her and Lucien being close.She knew their newfound coziness would be reported back to Tamlin,planting seeds of doubt in his mind.

It was my first time on a horse in months, and I was stiff enough that I could barely move as the party dismounted. I gave Lucien a subtle, pleading look, and he barely hid his smirk as he sauntered over to me.Our dispersing party watched as he braced my waist in his broad hands and easily hefted me off the horse, none more closely than lanthe.

I'd rolled onto Lucien's bedroll at some point, any schemes indeed second to my most pressing demand—warmth. But I had no doubt Jurian would tuck away the information to throw in Tamlin's face when we returned: we'd shared a tent, and had been very cozy upon awakening.

But it was Jurian right on their heels, as if he'd been divulging the details of his surveying who smiled at the sight of us, knee to knee and nearly nose to nose."Careful, Lucien," the warrior sneered. "You see what happens to males who touch the HighLord's belongings."

So even when Tamlin wasn’t around Feyre was continuing this act because she wanted everyone to start thinking something was happening between her and Lucien.And her efforts were not in vain.Her plan worked..a little too well even.

"You don't act that way with Feyre." A silk-wrapped threat. "You're mistaken.” "Am I?" Twigs and leaves crunched, as if she was circling him. "You put your hands all over her." I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I'd found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin's presence.

Then we have the infamous nightmare scene.The whole thing was a set up so that Tamlin would catch his bestfriend and Feyre in a compromising position after he’d probably already heard rumors about them.She wanted Tamlin to start questioning Lucien and his intentions.

I had no doubt Tamlin was now running through every look and conversation since then. Every time Lucien had intervened on my behalf, both Under the Mountain and afterward. Weighing how much that new mating bond with Elain held sway over his friend.

By planting doubt and suspicion in Tamlin’s mind,Feyre’s schemes worked and Tamlin and Lucien’s friendship suffered.

Tamlin and Lucien, it seemed, had spoken before the meal, but the latter made a point to keep a healthy distance from me. To not look at or speak to me, as if still needing to convince Tamlin of our innocence.

I hauled myself into the canvas tent when the fire was dying out, the space barely big enough for Lucien and me to sleep shoulder to shoulder. "Maybe I should sleep out there." I rolled my eyes. "Please."A wary, considering glance as he knelt and removed his boots. "You know Tamlin can be ...sensitive about things."

So yeah everything Feyre did was intentional and with purpose.She used Lucien to make Tamlin jealous therefore condemning their friendship.She roped him into her schemes which ended up having detrimental effects not just on his relationship with Tamlin but on his entire reputation in Spring.And sure Tamlin and Lucien’s friendship was already not the greatest but Feyre made things exponentially so much worse.

[iz-star]

[WIP]

"You can sleep for a bit longer. You don't need to wake up early..."

Master of Fate spoilers ahead:

Okay, we already know that things at the end of Master of Fate's myth don't end up quite well but can we talk about what happens in "Forest's Breeze"? The devs definitely f*cking knew what they were doing by leaving that card at the very end, because what better way of breaking our hearts surprising us than letting us know that once we all know that Zayne and MC don't end up together at the end of the myth, we get to listen to that card and discover that they promised of always being together and made love right after that?! LIKE COME ON I WANNA SCREAM.

Also it's not specified but it's quite probable that what happens in Forest's Breeze is located short after what happens in both 5 stars cards so Zayne and MC were already together in the myth (no wonder why Zayne joked about "The person you're destined to be with is stoic and not very affectionate"). Let's not even talk about what happens in Forest's Slumber because in there MC again made Zayne to promise not to leave her, in this myth she was really clingy and afraid of being left behind and there are several ocassions that she shows it. Zayne knew it and we all know that he wasn't willing to leave her and even if it's not clarified, he probably was still there with her, the only little detail is that she wasn't able to see and hear him anymore at the end of the myth and it's all just so... tragic and frustrating. Zayne will be there for her for all eternity, that's for sure, but they simply can't stay together and he's always willing to sacrifice his own happiness and own well being so that he can ensure she'll be safe, pretty much what happened with Foreseer too.

The PV of the myth really fooled me cause I truly thought for a moment that this myth wouldn't be sad. The same as with Foreseer's myth, it has left me with a feeling of emptiness and unfullfilment. So I'll be drawing a lot of fanart of them between comms ahaha. I'll be quite slow tho cause I can't draw as much as I'd like but I have to fill the void somehow ;~ ;

At least the chapters of the event story were genuinely sweet, Dr Zayne made me feel better with his sweet words so at least there's that. I hope nothing bad happens to him in the future ahaha or either I'm going to riot.

[cinnabooonn]

“IDEAL WOMAN”

ft. jo togame | you and togame, longtime bestfriends, are getting comfy on the couch, watching a movie, you ask a question and never could have imagined what the answer would be.

f!reader | cw: reader is referred to as ‘woman’, togame being his usual self, just making out ; fluff | note. okay. i had this in my mind for a whole three days, i had to write it down. also, how innocent and oblivious can choji be? | wc. 830 ish ; m.list | reblogs are very appreciated !!

“so… i was thinking,” you suddenly break the silence that was engulfing you and togame.

the two of you (and choji, who was late) had decided to spend your saturday afternoon chilling on the couch while watching disney movies and eating chocolate cookies.

you were sitting, your mind full of many thoughts, as togame was lying in your lap. one of your hands slid down and slightly ruffled his hair, playing with some of his pitch black locks.

his green eyes were fixated on you, waiting for you to go on.

“what characteristics does your ideal woman have?”

your question seemed to throw him off guard. he blinked twice, a big question mark seemed to make an appearance over his head.

“my what now?” he teased you, a smirk blossoming on his face as he straightened himself and sat next to you.

his irises held a great deal of amusement as he scratched the back of his head.

you suddenly felt flustered at his reaction, mentally reprimanding yourself, wondering why in the world did you need to ask him that.

you felt heat spreading across your cheeks and nervousness creeping up at your heart.

“you know what? just forget it let’s… let’s just keep on watching,” you pointed to the paused movie on the tv and broke eye-contact, turning your head the other way.

but no, togame was not having that.

the two of you were best friends, ever since you could remember. you met him and choji back in elementary school, and let’s just say you’d become dependent on both of them ever since.

“now, [name], i can very much answer your question, mhm?” he cupped your face with one hand and turned your head so you were facing him again.

he was dangerously close. so close you could feel his breath against your nose, and you could see every little detail of his eyes and his lips.

“my ideal woman, huh? let me just think,” he smirked, faking a ‘wait i’m thinking’ expression, as you felt the quickening of your heartbeat.

“her eyes must be like these,” he hovered his hands over your eyes, “i want her nose to be like this over here,” his index finger caressed the tip of your nose, “and oh, her lips,” he looked at you straight in the eye, “they must absolutely be like these,” and before you knew it, his lips forcibly took possession of yours.

you couldn’t resist him. you didn’t want to, so you responded to his kiss as fervidly and passionately as him.

your lips seemed to dance together to the music of your hearts, you almost didn’t realize you were now sitting on his lap, a hand running through his hair, the kiss speaking words you couldn’t utter before.

“i want you as my ideal woman, [name],” he confessed as soon as his lips left yours.

“wait, that came wrong. i want you as my woman,” he enforced, his forehead resting on yours and hope brimming in his eyes.

you couldn't believe it. you couldn’t believe what had just happened nor the things he’d just said. truly, that must've been a joke, right? it was impossible for your friend of over 13 years to like you, to want you, right?

“you mean it? you really-” and before you could finish, he was on your lips all over again, holding onto them for dear life, as if it was his only way of salvation, as if he’d been poisoned and the antidote was held by you and you alone.

you stopped, your breathing heavy, the movie in the background long forgotten poor frozen.

“i would never joke about something serious like this,” he told you with a low voice, no trace of amusement could be found anymore.

you gulped, feeling a rush of adrenaline that was probably your final push towards your courageous decision.

you kissed him again. just a peck on the lips, he had to be content with just that as if the two of you hadn’t had a make-out sesh that lasted forever.

“that was my answer,” you got down from his lap and quickly ran to the bathroom. the rush of adrenaline had worn out pretty quickly.

the brunette was left alone on the couch, an arm thrown over his head as a smile slowly crept up on his lips.

after so long, you’d found your way to him, and he’d never let you go.

epilogue.

“kame-chan!” a loud voice suddenly called. you heard the door bursting open and then closing. “i'm sorry i could only come now!”

choji entered the living room, bags full of snacks in both hands and a smile plastered over his face.

he directed his gaze first on togame, then on you, puzzlement in his eyes. “you guys look reeeally weird,” he said, getting closer so he was facing you.

“kame-chan? why are your lips so red? oh they look puffy too, is it an allergic reaction?”

“wait, [name], why is your face pink?” his attention quickly shifted to you. “well, anyway, let's just watch this movie... oh not fair, you already started, kame-chan!”

© cinnabooonn — 2024 / this work strictly belongs to its owner, you are prohibited from plagiarising, copying, translating on any other platform.

[retrorats]

This scene is probably one of my favorites in danganronpa 2, even if it's generally overlooked by people, there's something that I find so compelling about the way it's written that I cannot help but love with all my heart.

I find that this scene captures in such an accurate way not only Hinata’s complex and singular feelings in regards to Komaeda but also the difficult feeling of grief and mourning towards someone you had such a complicated relationship. Hinata grieves Komaeda, the person that he felt made everything more complicated, the person he felt betrayed by, a person he didn't really know but he once wrongly felt like he did. Even with all of that, Hinata still felt depressed about him being gone, to the point that he feels melancholy about not only the good aspects of him but also everything that was bad and terrible, everything that once made him feel annoyance and anger became the center of his melancholy and yearning.

I find so accurate how Hinata only starts saying positive things about him after Komaeda is dead, on a way that reminds a lot of how when people lose someone they start to remind the other person in a very idealized way, just that in this case Hinata still talks about him with certain resentment, something that's only natural considering the kind of relationship they had.

I'm also fascinated about the little details of it's writing. I love the "But..." at the start and how it accentuates how Hinata feels a lot of pain regarding the things he's gonna talk about, the ellipsis at the end of the second sentence having the same purpose. The dialogue has such poetic sense about it, it's pain and angst so beautifully crafted. My only complaint is that the translation made the scene sound less strong and poetic compared to the original version that sounds way better.

I feel like we should give this scene way more recognition than we do, specially considering how relevant it is for understanding Hinata's feelings regarding Komaeda's death and to understand better Hinata's grief process.

[avonne-writes]

Would you share headcanons of HS au clegan after they start college? What's the transition like for them?

Thank you for this question, I love talking about my HS AU boys 🥰 My current headcanons:

It's a rough transition, they almost break up. Which isn’t surprising, given that everything around them changes, they build separate social groups instead of having one friend group, and they both mature and change a lot in a very short amount of time.

It all starts out well, of course. They move in together and both of them are super happy about their new independence and their new college experiences. They're very supportive of each other too.

But one of the biggest problems is that they're both going through changes at the same time, and their coping mechanisms clash. Bucky clings - he wants the security, the love he knows, his safe place. But Gale is pulling away, because he wants to dive into his newfound freedom, and forces that try to hold him back just push him further away.

Bucky plays college soccer and he’s surrounded by sports guys, most of them chasing girls and sleeping around. He goes to a lot of parties, and there are always a lot of girls trying to get with the athletes. He gets home drunk sometimes, which, as you can imagine, triggers Gale. When Bucky realizes this, he stops coming home on party nights. But this is almost worse, because Gale can’t help but wonder where he is.

Gale makes things worse too by not telling Bucky that he’s jealous of the girls, that he doesn’t like Bucky partying all the time and that he’s scared that their relationship is holding Bucky back from experiencing other things. In his most extreme thoughts, Gale sometimes wishes that Bucky cheated on him but decided to stay, because he just feels like Bucky "deserves" to have sex with more than one person in his life.

The reason why Gale doesn’t tell Bucky if things upset him is that he doesn’t want to be the one holding him back from any of "the college experience".

At the same time, we have Gale hanging out with his new friends. He and Bucky go to different universities too. To Bucky, this feels like an extended version of being separated during a class in high school and he hates it. He wants to know every little detail of Gale's days because it's a way for him to feel close to Gale. But Gale gets annoyed by the depth of this interest, this need.

They just annoy the hell out of each other, because when one pulls, the other pushes away, and vice versa. They're not in sync.

Not to mention the changes in their interests and personalities as they mature into their young adult selves.

Basically, they have to fall for each other all over again.

The tension rises gradually until it cracks, and they have a huge fight that gets them to the verge of breaking up. Except, in this fight, all their frustrations and the things they never told each other finally come out. It's a moment when they both stop and take stock of how different everything is, and they realize that their old relationship can’t go forward the way it was because they're not the same anymore.

But instead of breaking it up, they decide to renew it - to get to know each other again and find out how this new, mature relationship works.

The fight and its resolution of telling each other that they both still want the other get them back in sync.

The next few weeks are tentative and exploratory, but then an exciting and happy period follows, a honeymoon phase.