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really-fanny-longbottom · 1 year ago

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the things we do for love

helion x reader (platonic), inner circle x reader | secrets can never be kept for long. eventually, the truth always comes out, and so do the consequences of it.

warnings: mentions of blood, pregnancy, birth, fight, death; there's a flashback scene in the middle.

words: 7.7k

masterlist

you are a scholar from day court. but you are not just a simple scholar — you are the best.

you were known for graduating at the top of your class and for your impeccable reputation of never failing a project and never leaving a question unanswered.

you have always been a very curious person, and the fact that you grew up in day court gave you the privilege of having access to the best libraries with the best books in prythian.

that's why books were your life and the fact you liked to have an answer for everything, even though helion called you a know-it-all from time to time, and even if that irritated you a little, it was true.

whenever a question arose that you didn't know the answer to, you made it your personal mission to find one.

even if it meant having to read dozens, if not hundreds of books, but that part you never care about.

besides, the libraries were your favorite places, especially the one near the pegasus stables.

the only thing you liked more than books was pegasus.

you thought they were the most magnificent creatures your eyes had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

your favorite was meallan, who was also helion's favorite — it was with him that you learned to ride a pegasus, and he was your favorite partner to fly and enjoy the sky.

besides being curious, you were also a very adventurous person, and it was your sense of adventure that got you into trouble.

one day, you decided that it would be a great idea to combine the two things you love most in this world — books and pegasus.

so you tried flying with meallan while reading one of your romance books, only to get distracted when the scenery in the book started to heat up and lose your balance.

your luck? meallan wasn't flying very high when it happened.

your bad luck? a broken leg and a very big and angry lecture from helion.

when he heard what you did, he banned you from flying with meallan or any of the other pegasus again for months.

which led you to focus on books again for a while, which helped a lot during your recovery.

your reputation caught rhysand's attention.

the high lord of the night court was in the middle of researching the cauldron.

rumors about hybern being in search of it for a new war had reached his ears, and as all high lords should, he began to prepare for war but the truth is that his library could not be compared with those at day court.

even with the help of the priestesses, he was unable to find almost anything.

that's where you entered the equation.

during a meeting between the night court and day court at helion's palace, rhysand mentioned your name.

helion wasn't surprised.

he knew very well what you were capable of, and in that moment, he couldn't hide the pride he felt for you.

he knew what rhysand was about to ask of him.

he wanted you to join him and his inner circle in velaris and help with the research, and if possible, bring some books from your court on the subject for them to read as well.

helion had no problem with you helping them, afterall rhysand was one of his longest friends.

the only thing he didn't like was putting you in the enemy's attention.

if hybern found out, you'd have a target on your back.

helion explained his worries to the high lord of the night court and his inner circle that were seated beside him.

he explained to them how you were not just another citizen of his court.

you were important and very close to him.

he told them how your mother was one of his best friends for centuries, and when she died, he took you under his care.

the night court assured him that they would treat you like family and that they would not let anything bad happen to you.

before helion could respond, your voice filled the conference room, "i'll do it."

all the heads turned in your direction, helion leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face, "how many times do I have to tell you not to eavesdrop?"

with an innocent smile, you replied, "i wasn't eavesdropping. i was passing by, and i heard my name."

"really? you were just passing by?" helion didn't believe you for a second.

the inner circle watched the scene unfold in front of them with amusement in their faces.

"hm-hm" was your response.

helion interlaced his hands and with an amused look — one that you knew very well and that meant he was about to corner you — "and where were you going, if i may ask?"

"i. . .hm, i-" you paused to think, before an idea came to your mind "ah, i was going to the kitchen. yes, that's where i was going."

helion chuckled, "the same kitchen that is on the other side of the palace, and you can't access it from this floor?"

your smile fell, and you realized you had been caught.

he was right, this floor was for political purposes only — helion's office, the conference room they were in now, an armament room and the map room which was mainly used by helion's general and his soldiers.

everyone tried to contain their laughter at your expression and when you tried to come up with a quick response and couldn't, you decided to admit defeat.

"okay, okay, i wasn't just passing by. what do you want me to say? you know i'm curious."

"indeed, i do." he gave you a smile.

raising from his seat, he gestured for you to approach him, and when you did, he wrapped you in a side hug. "y/n, meet the inner circle."

you couldn't help but linger your gaze on the shadowsinger. he was stupidly handsome, and no one should look that good.

the laughter caught your attention, and when you looked at them, you noticed that everyone was smiling except helion.

realizing what had just happened, you said, "shit, did i just say that out loud?" a hand coming to cover your mouth that was starting to form into a nervous smile.

"unfortunately," helion replied with a roll of his eyes.

another thing you were also, besides being curious and adventurous — is being honest.

you are not, and you have never been afraid to say what you think and be direct about it.

helion has always really liked that trait of yours but not at the moment, especially when you're using it to flirt with the male in front of you.

"okay, enough." he averted his gaze to azriel, "stop looking at her like that before i regret all of this."

the shadowsinger raised his hand in surrender with a smile playing on his lips.

helion released a sigh before looking at you. "are you sure about this? you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

you gave him an assured smile, "i'm sure, i can do this. besides, it's what i was trained for, right?"

the word 'trained' led you to another thought, one that helion wasn't very fond of "oh, can you train me while i'm there?" you asked the general.

cassian was surprised by the question. no one ever asked him to train them before, and if they did, it wouldn't be a female.

that made him feel a strange sensation in his chest, one that he wasn't used to. was it, pride?

"of course," he had no problem in saying.

"awesome. i'm going to pack my things." you gave them one last smile before exiting the room.

with the door shutting behind you, helion turned to his old friend, "alright. rhysand, i'm trusting you, all of you, with her. so. . .do not fail me. unless you would like to see me very angry." helion added a little of enfase with his high lord voice.

rhysand chuckled at his words, but he knew the male meant every single one of them "we won't."

helion turned to cassian, "oh, and cassian? be careful when you eventually put a weapon on y/n's hands. she's a little curious and clumsy even though she never lost or ruined a book, which is kinda of a surprise, actually."

cassian laughed while crossing his amra over his chest, "it can't be that bad."

helion gave them a nervous laugh before telling them one of your many stories.

"i once tried to teach her archery because she was interested and when i was teaching her how to shoot an arrow, she got distracted with a butterfly that was flying near her and the arrow that was supposed to go into the target, end up going into one of the gardener's legs. who, by the way, was on the other side of the garden."

cassian's smile dropped, and he's arms fell to the side.

everyone else laughed, if it was at your story or at his reaction, cassian didn't know.

"oh, this is going to be fun," morrigan said with a "i already like her," followed by amren.

"no weapons, got it." cassian said before starting to re-think about his life's choices.

•••

you were finishing packing when helion entered your bedroom chambers.

"everything okay?" he asked you.

"yes, i already have everything i need."

you turned to look at him and when you saw his worried look, you gave him a gentle smile "don't worry. i'm going to be fine."

"i know," he reciprocated the smile and approached you.

his hands fond your shoulders and he gave them a tight squeeze "remember, no one can know. it needs to remain a secret."

"yes, i know. i'm not going to tell them." you promised.

"good," helion gave your shoulders one last squeeze before letting them go, "now, have fun but please be careful with the weapons during training with cassian. we wouldn't want you to lose a finger."

"or him," you added, making you and helion laugh.

"or him," he repeated your words with a chuckle, "also, don't forget our agreement," helion reminded you with a stern look.

you rolled your eyes but with a chuckle escaping your lips, "i know."

"four letters during the week," he said while smiling at your antics, warmth in his eyes "deal?"

"deal."

•••

everything was going well.

you had been at the night court for about three months now and the research about the cauldron and hybern had progressed a lot with your help.

you loved velaris and adjusted very well but instead of staying with the inner circle, like rhysand offered, you decided to rent a house near the sidra so you could explore the city of starlight at your own pace.

and because you never lived alone before and decided to try it — 'a new adventure' that's what you wrote to helion in the letter.

he didn't liked it.

you also did that, so you had a reason for the shadowsinger to fly you to the house of wind and then back to yours —but you decide to leave that little detail out of the letter.

the library at the house of wind made you feel at home and helped with your homesickness.

the priestesses adored you and found your presence comforting. the only thing they didn't like very much was when you disappeared for a few hours and they had to alert the inner circle.

they found you on the last floor of the library drinking tea while talking to bryaxis much to cassian's dismay.

when they asked you about it you blamed your curiosity — you had heard some priestesses talking about the creature that lived in the library while searching for a book.

you went to the edge of the stairs and when you looked down, you found nothing, and you needed to know what this creature was like so your feet started moving before you could stop them.

you end up finding that bryaxis was really good at telling stories and you thought he was friendly.

cassian didn't liked it.

you were doing remarkable work, rhysand had complimented you multiple times for it.

you were respecting the agreement and sending four letters as agreed and cassian still had all his fingers and toes but the same couldn't be said about the ear he almost lost when you got distracted during sword training.

two months without any incident — or almost.

but that changed the day a letter from the night court arrived ar helion's office.

•••

helion never winnowed so fast as he did when he received the letter from rhysand explaining about what happened to you.

the moment helion set a foot on the night court's ground, he was quick to make his way to rhysand and grab him by the colar of his shirt.

"what the hell happened?" he yelled.

rhysand's eyes widened, never in his four hundred years of friendship, had he seen his friend reacting like this.

rhysand told him everything.

how you didn't show up in the library this morning and clotho noticed your absence.

how no one had seen you since last night and after checking if you were in the library or the rooftop training which you weren't, they decided to come to your house to check on you.

how they found the door of your house open and when they checked the inside. . .

the house was destroyed.

broken furniture, paintings lying on the floor, shattered objects, torn cushions and then, blood.

not just yours but also whoever invaded.

apparently, training with cassian had worked, because you put up a good fight to the invaders.

and then there were the scents.

the scent of autumn soldiers.

at least five different scents lingered in the air but they were starting to disappear so they suspected you had been taken at least two hours ago.

and when the explanation ended, helion finally released his friend's shirt and took a step back.

helion panicked.

you kidnapped?

autumn soldiers?

helion knew what this meant.

he had found out the truth and came for you.

all the emotions started overwhelming helion — anger, worry, fear, rage.

this couldn't be happening.

it couldn't be true.

helion leaned over to try to ease the pain he felt in his chest.

but it didn't work.

raising his head, the inner circle watched as helion's golden eyes darkened — anger.

he was going to find you, and he was going to bring you home — to him.

even if it meant he would have to destroy the autumn court with his bare hands, like he did once, to some beasts, centuries ago.

"don't worry, helion, we're going to find your scholar," rhysand promised him.

"she's not just my scholar!" the high lord of day shouted.

he shouted so loud that the birds that were posing on the trees nearby flew away as fast as their wings allowed.

feyre moved forward and placed her hand on helion's arm, trying to comfort him as much as she could, "what do you mean by that?"

helion met the high lady's eyes, and all she found in them was pain and fear.

his lip trembled, and after taking a few deep breaths, he told her the truth.

the truth that no one was prepared for.

"she's my daughter."

the inner circle stilled at his words. for a few moments the only sounds heard, was their breathings.

this was unknown to them, helion had never mentioned a child of his own.

"y/n is my daughter, and she's the princess of the day court."

before any of them had the chance to say something, helion raised his hand and signaled his second in command to approach him.

the male had refused to let his high lord come alone after reading that letter "benjen."

benjen approached him and stood to his full height, ready to receive his orders. "yes, high lord?

"i need you to send a letter to rris, tell him what happened and that he needs to come to velaris as soon as he can."

helion paused for a second, very well aware of the gazes the inner circle were sending his way, "and also tell him not to show the letter to anyone, as soon as he finishes reading it, he must burn it immediately."

"of course, high lord." bejen replied and gave a small nod before leaving to carry out his order.

at the exit of one of his most trusted friends, helion looked turned to face the inner circle, and he only had a second to breathe before the shadowsinger spoke.

"why are you sending a letter to eris? What does he have to do with y/n?" he asked him, with worry and confusion on his face.

if autumn had really captured you, he didn't want to waste another minute.

"everything."

tired of his riddles, rhysand spoke, from one high lord to another.

"helion, tell us what's going on? how is y/n your daughter, and why did i never know about it?"

"how is eris connected to her? and why has she taken by autumn soldiers?" cassian added.

helion released a long breath and pitched the bridge of his nose.

he approached his old friend, and with a stern look and a firm voice, he said, "if i tell you, rhysand. . .you and your inner circle can't tell anyone."

rhysand looked back, and with the firm nods of his family, he returned his look to helion before extending his hand to him "i promise."

helion took his hand, and a bargain was made.

a tattoo in the shape of the sun appeared on the back of their necks.

helion gave him a nod before telling him, "y/n's mother didn't die, and she wasn't just a random lover."

the inner circle approached at the sound of the new information the spell cleaver was sharing them.

they formed a circle around helion, as if the keep the information within it.

"y/n is the result of an affair that i had eighty-two years ago."

helion paused, aware of what he was about to say. once his words came out, he couldn't go back.

"she's mine and elowyn's daughter."

several gasps were heard out loud. they froze in their place's with shock spreading through their features.

oh, this was bad.

this was very bad.

"you mean. . .?" feyre wasn't able to finish her sentence, too afraid to say it.

"yes." he said, his eyes locked on the high lady's blue ones, "the lady of autumn is her mother."

helion sighed, and turned with his back facing them "we kept it a secret all these years so beron wouldn't find out, but apparently, he has."

helion took a step back and passed a hand through his long black hair. "that's how y/n is connected to eris. he's her older brother."

mor spoke for the first time since all of this happened. "but how does he know?"

helion looked at her. "because eris was the one who brought y/n to me on the day she was born."

•••

eight-two years ago

the sun had left a long time ago.

the night had already come with it's dark sky, shiny stars, and smooth breeze.

the entire prythian was thankful for it.

every citizen from every court just wanted today's day to end.

no one understood or had an explanation for the events of today.

it didn't make sense.

prythian was in the height of winter — two weeks from the Winter Solstice to be more precise.

and even though the seasonal courts didn't follow the natural course of nature, they, too, were affected.

during the entire day, the sun shined like it had never shined before, releasing an unbearable heat that prythian had never felt before.

not even the summer court or the day court have had a sun like that before.

and these were the two courts best known for their warm suns.

even winter court, known for it's constant cold, and it's land always decorated with snow and ice felt uncomfortable with the sun.

nothing happened differently during the course of today's day to explain the reaction from the sun.

there was no reason for it.

except, there was, they just didn't know that.

—

the letter came a few minutes after helion had finished his dinner.

he, too, was contemplating about the sun's behavior earlier.

he even made his way to one of his many libraries to see if this event had ever happened before but he found nothing.

it wasn't strange for the sun to shine like it did today.

they've had their fair share of hot summers but for the sun to shine like that during the winter?

that didn't make sense.

and with all the libraries and even more the books he owned, there had to be an answer somewhere.

the high lord of day was in the middle of reading a book when the letter appeared on top of it.

the letter had brown tones with leaf patterns and an intense scent of pine — autumn.

that was the second strange thing that happened today.

why — of all the courts — would autumn be sending him a letter?

it was then that he noticed that the letter did not come from beron.

the stamped seal did not belong to the high lord.

no, the seal was in the shape of a hound.

the heir's beloved creatures and personal seal.

eris vanserra sent him a letter — a personal letter.

without further hesitation, helion opened the letter and read the content hidden within.

if he was confused before, he is even more now.

the letter contained three simple instructions: "meet me at the border between day and dawn in twenty minutes. come alone and don't let anyone see you. burn the letter once you finish reading it."

now, this was even stranger than the sun's behavior.

—

helion knew that he was most likely making a mistake.

meeting eris alone at the border could very well be a trap, but on second thought, what reason did the heir have to ambush him?

the answer was none.

he knew that eris was not the cruel and arrogant male he appeared to be.

he knew that deep down eris was good, honest and kind and that the rest was nothing more than a mask that he had created because of beron.

that's why helion followed his instructions.

he just hoped he didn't regret it.

as agreed, eris appeared exactly twenty minutes after sending the letter.

the high lord of day decided to arrive a little earlier as a precaution, just to make sure there were no hidden hounds ready to attack his legs, especially today that he was wearing a new robe.

helion had no idea what this secret meeting was about.

he came to think that perhaps the heir was moments away from asking him for help to take down beron, but he came to the conclusion that if that were the case, it wasn't him that eris would ask for help, but the night court, so he scrapped that idea and was left with no other.

therefore, he had no expectations for this meeting — if it could be called that.

but the last thing he expected was to see eris vanserra with a newborn in his arms.

—

the day was already feeling long, but with the sun shining like that and the unbearable heat that came from it, it only made it seem even longer.

elowyn, lady of the autumn court, had now been in labor for three hours.

the eighth child of beron vanserra and elowyn was about to come into the world.

and like all the other births, beron was far away from the room where his wife was.

but eris was there.

just like he was at all the births of his younger brothers, holding his mother's hand like he always did.

eris loved his mother more than anything, and one of the reasons he wanted to overthrow beron so much was so she could be free and happy.

he also knew that lucien was her favorite son, and although it hurt him, he would still do anything for her.

but what was unknown to eris was that he was her favorite son too.

eris was surprised when his mother announced that she was pregnant again.

after all, lucien had born more than four hundred years ago.

another brother was something that the young heir wasn't expecting.

but he couldn't not be happy.

besides he always liked taking care of his brothers when they were younger, and after everything that happened maybe a baby was exactly what they needed.

as his mother pushed again, eris began to think about all the things he was going to teach the new member of the family — fishing, hunting, fighting, reading, writing, camping but most importantly how to control his powers.

that was something eris didn't have.

no one taught him how to control and use his fire, and that led the healers to treat a lot of burns because of it, and he wasn't going to let this baby go through what he did.

his mother's scream shook him away from those thoughts, and Eris refocused all his attention on her and made sure to hold her hand tighter, assuring his mother that he wasn't going anywhere.

not until his brother was born.

two hours later, after many screams, pain, and sweat — a baby's cries burst into the room, bringing tears of happiness to the eyes of elowyn and eris.

but it was at that moment that the mother made her first turn of events.

"it's a girl, my lady," the head healer that was helping with the labor announced "a very healthy baby girl."

eris froze, not knowing how to react before this new information.

in over a thousand years, the vanserra lineage had never had female descendants.

this couldn't be possible.

"a girl?" elowyn asked, exhaustion in her voice.

"yes, my lady." one of the healers that assisted with the birth and now holding the baby confirmed while walking closer to the bed.

"it looks like you've been blessed, my lady."

eris's grip on his mother's hand loosened, and the male stood up from the side of the bed where he had spent the last five hours crouched.

now raised to his full height, eris saw his baby sister, and his heart stopped.

and that was when the mother made her second turn of events.

the baby didn't look like eris or his mother or anyone in his family.

her hair wasn't red, her eyes weren't russet or brown, and her skin wasn't pale.

she wasn't a daughter of autumn.

meaning she wasn't beron's daughter.

eris took the baby from the healer's arms before speaking to all of them. "leave us."

the head healer asked before making her exit, "should we announce the birth to the high lord, my prince?"

"no," eris was quick to respond.

he looked at the baby in his arms again before meeting the gaze of the female. "i'll tell him myself when he gets back from the meeting. thank you for your help."

"of course, my prince." the healer turned to face elowyn and bowed one more time before leaving the room "my lady."

elowyn gave her a small smile. "thank you, lydia."

now alone in the room, eris finally looked at his mother and took a seat on her left side of the bed, and passed the baby to her arms.

at the sight of her daughter, elowyn cried.

she knew what this meant.

beron was going to kill her and her child.

her love affair had ended after becoming pregnant with lucien, but after seeing helion at the high lords meeting three years ago, all the feelings that she had buried deep down in her heart came to the surface.

and as always, she wasn't able to stay away from the male she's always loved — the love of her life, her mate, and now the father of two of her children.

elowyn ran her fingers over the delicate cheek of her daughter — her only daughter.

and with tears running down her face, she looked at her firstborn and said to him in a low voice "he's going to kill us, isn't he?"

it was eris's turn to have tears in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall.

placing one of his fingers in front of his little sister, eris saw the baby wrap her small hand around his finger, and he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat at the gesture.

he had a gentle smile on his lips as he looked at the newborn now sleeping in his mother's arms.

her hand still wrapped around her big brother's finger.

"she's Helion's, isn't she?" eris asked without taking his eyes from the baby.

elowyn's mouth opened in surprise.

she never mentioned helion to anyone, not even to lydia who wasn't just the court's head healer but also her dearest friend.

"wha-"

"it's okay, mom. i have known for a while." eris gave her a small smile, eyes still directed to his sister.

"since when?"

"since lucien," eris finally looked at his mother.

eris gave a long sigh before revealing his opinion to his mother "if you would like to know, i wish you had married him and not Beron, even if that meant i would never been born."

eris grabbed her hand and give it a tight squeeze before continuing "you deserve to be happy and well treated, mom, and i know that helion does that and so much more. i've never seen you as happy as on the days you returned from your encounters with him."

elowyn gave him a genuine smile before murmuring a small "thank you," she had no idea her son was aware of this.

eris chuckled, now putting the two pieces together, "this is why the sun is acting like crazy today, isn't it? because she's a child of day.

the same had happened with Lucien but it wasn't as strong as today and lucien was born in the summer which didn't raise any suspicions.

his mother nodded her head in affirmation before returning her eyes to her daughter, smiling, "she looks just like him."

and it was true.

everything about you screamed helion — your eyes, your hair, your skin, and even your nose.

there was no doubt in it.

concerned invaded her face, and elowyn found herself holding the baby tighter to her chest.

she looked at her son again, "what are we going to do?"

eris met her gaze before looking at the peaceful baby again, and his head started to work to come up with a plan.

even if you weren't beron's you were still his sister — his baby sister — and he wasn't going to let that horrible male harm you.

after a few minutes and after thinking about all the possible ways, eris understood there was only one option — one that he hated.

but that didn't matter.

what mattered was to keep you safe and alive even if it meant to send you away.

the tears returned to his eyes.

he had to swallow the lump in his throat because he knew he was about to break his mother's heart.

after breathing for a few seconds to calm his heart, he gathered enough courage to tell her, "i have a plan."

and just like that, the mother made her third and final turn of events.

—

the high lord of day couldn't believe what was in front of him.

eris vanserra with a newborn in his arms?

things had just gotten far more interesting or dangerous.

the heir of autumn was walking in his direction and looking at his surroundings while doing it.

when he finally stood in front of the high lord, eris asked him, "are you alone?"

with an annoyed look, helion raised his arm to gesture around them, "do you see anyone else here, prince?"

"as far as i'm concerned, you could have soldiers hiding behind the trees ready to attack me at your signal, high lord." eris gave a sarcastic smile.

helion reciprocated his smile while adding, "i could say the same about you."

eris shrugged his shoulders and concluded, "i suppose that's true."

helion winked at him before his eyes moved to the baby in his arms.

trying to act as normal as possible and not let his curiosity take the better of him, helion asked "who's this little one? and why would you bring a baby here?"

helion didn't have a good view of you, only of the top of your head since the rest was hidden by the blanket.

at the question, eris held you tighter in his arms, he looked to the high lord, who was still busy staring at you, probably trying to get a better look.

he wanted to see his reaction when he revealed the truth to him.

"this is my sister. she was born a few hours ago." the Heir said and moved the blanket so helion could finally see you.

when eris removed the blanket and helion finally had a good view of you, confusion settled on his features.

the spell cleaver's features scoffed before telling him, "she's your sister?"

eris nodded before helion continued. "i hate to be the one telling you this, eris, but she looks noth-"

you opened your eyes at the sound of his voice, making the high lord of day freeze in his place.

helion stopped.

his heart did, too.

realization entered him as he put the pieces together.

he raised his head to look at the redheaded male who only gave a nod of affirmation as his response.

helion had to blink his eyes several times to make sure that he wasn't dreaming — that this was real.

you looked just like him.

"it's not possible." helion said, more to himself than to the young heir

"it is. she's the living proof of that." eris told him.

helion's eyes widened in disbelief, "the sun?" he murmured.

"yes," eris confirmed as he passed one of his fingers through your cheek.

helion couldn't tear his eyes from.

you were looking at him with your big golden eyes — his eyes.

he felt weak in his knees.

helion always wanted children, he knew that since the moment he met elowyn but the world hadn't been kind to them.

by the Cauldron, he didn't even know elowyn was pregnant.

the last time they had seen each other was a little over ten months ago, but sometimes that happened, it had happened before.

when Beron was around a lot, it was difficult for her to leave without lifting any suspicions, so they would wait until she could.

sometimes it took weeks, other times mouths, but helion was patient, he would rather wait than risk her safety at beron's rage.

but the wait was worthed because when they were together it was like the rest of the world disappeared and it was just the two of them.

it was perfect.

the room was lit by the first rays of the morning sun and a gentle breeze came through the window.

the two lovers were together in bed. after a long night of passion and romance, the two were in each other's arms with nothing but a sheet protecting them from the breeze.

elowyn laughed again at the tickling sensation.

she hit helion's arm that was holding her against his chest "stop", but she couldn't stop laughing.

"why would i do that when i can hear that magnificent sound?" helion joined her laugh.

but helion was right.

elowyn only laughed when she was with him, and that was one of the reasons why she loved him so much.

the lady rested her head on the high lord's chest and released a long sigh before giving voice to her thoughts, "i wish i woke up like this every morning."

she adjusted her head on the male's chest so she could look at him,"with you."

helion lowered his head to meet her beautiful brown eyes, a sad smile taking over him, "me too."

"do you ever think about that? about how our life would be if we were together?" she asked him.

"of course i do," he placed a hand on her hair and began to caress it as he spoke "the first thing i would do, would be to marry you and after making you my wife, i would make you my high lady."

a smile began to form on her lips, "what else?"

he reciprocated the smile and continued, "afterwards, we would have our honeymoon at the summer court because i know how much you would like to visit there. and then, i would show you every place of your new Court. the libraries, the pegasus, the entire palace and my favorite places."

he paused for a second, sadness starting to make its way to his features again "i would make you feel like home, and i would make you feel loved, seen and heard every single day. i would give you anything you asked of me, sunshine."

a tear fell from elowyn's eyes, and her lip trembled a little, "that sounds perfect. it would be a dream come true."

helion wiped her tears and told her "yes, it would be. . ." he gave her a weak smile.

he, too, felt the pain of what they could only imagine."would you like to hear the best part?"

when she nodded her head, he proceeded "after a few years of being married, if we were blessed enough and if you wanted, of course," he paused, "children."

elowyn didn't know what to say.

she had confessed to helion a long time ago how she wished she had run away from her family and married him instead of her current husband.

how she wished she had been strong enough to stand up to her father and how she wished all her sons were his.

because this last confession was what held her back in autumn, she was not capable of abandoning her sons and leaving them at the mercy of beron.

she couldn't wait for the day when eris killed him so she could finally be what she always wanted — lady of the day court but in this case she would be high lady as helion had told her and she didn't doubt for a second of his words.

but unlike helion, the first thing she would do, wouldn't be to marry him but to accept the mating bond.

that beautiful, golden, and magical mating bond.

she tugged on the bond and a second later helion did the same.

finding the words she was looking for she said to him "of course i would have children with you, helion. that's not even a question."

she giggled, "can you imagine? little versions of you and me running around and causing trouble?"

helion couldn't hold back the laughter that escaped at her words "they would be troublemakers, wouldn't they?"

elowyn laughed even more "of course they would be."

her laughter quieted and a hint of love adorned her face "maybe i would finally have my little girl. i always wanted a daughter."

"me too," helion confessed, "i would name her after my mother in honor of her."

"your mother was a remarkable female. it would be an honor to name our little sunshine after her," she said and dropped an arm around his waist.

"it would be my greatest achievement.'' he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

they spent the rest of the morning in bed talking about the future they wanted more than anything and expressed their love one more time until elowyn had to leave.

what they didn't know at the moment was that it was the last time they would see each other for a really long time.

the memory surged through helion's mind like a wave.

he remembers that day so well after all that day was only ten months ago.

what a coincidence that on the last day they were together they talked about their future and their children and now, right in front of him, was their daughter.

their little sunshine.

with a trembling voice, helion spoke after a long time in silence "can i hold her?"

"of course," eris was quick to answer,passing you to your father's arms.

and that's when it happened.

a moment that neither helion nor eris would ever forget.

in the second that you were in helion's arms, both of your skins started glowing as bright as the sun had just a few hours ago.

the day court glow.

"wow," eris whispered, amazed at what was happening.

"indeed, she really is mine," without taking his eyes from you, helion asked "what's her name?"

"y/n," eris answered still observing the glow.

once again, the high lord froze on his spot.

his heart started beating faster.

seeing the strange reaction from helion, eris spoke "what is it?"

helion looked at the male with a smile "that's my mother's name. i told elowyn once how if i ever had a daughter, i would want to name her after her."

eris smiled at the kindness of his mother but he wasn't surprised, she was always like that.

"elowyn," the high lord of day whispered.

locking his gaze with the red-headed male, concern all written in his features at the well-being of the female he had been in love for centuries.

he was so focused on you that he didn't remember to ask this earlier, "elowyn. how is she? is she alright?"

eris released a long sigh, "physically? she's fine but exhausted from the birth. emotionally? she's a wreck, but i suppose that's normal considering her only daughter has to be sent away."

"what?"

"that's why i sent you that letter, helion. i came to bring her to you." eris said, a firm look on his face.

"she can't stay in autumn. no matter how much i want." he murmured the last part to himself, but if Helion noticed he didn't show.

"no one can know about her, about who her mother really is, we need to keep this from away from beron's ears."

he nodded his head, agreeing with the young heir.

of course, you couldn't stay there. he didn't even want to imagine what beron would do if he found out about you.

at the thought of the horrible male, confusion settled on his face again, "wait, what about beron? certainly, he's going to notice that his supposed child is missing."

"don't worry about beron, i took care of it." eris tried to be as vague as possible.

"how?"

"you don't want to know, besides that's not important right now. she is." he gestured to you, your skin still glowing and now grabbing one of helion's fingers.

eris gave a long breath, and then directed his gaze to you just for a second before raising it again to the high lord "are you going to take her?"

helion scoffed, "what kind of question it's that?"

eris released a long breath of relief, and a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

he didn't doubt that the mal3 would refuse you, but he couldn't but be nervous at the same.

the heir reached for the inside pocket of his coat and removed a letter, and helion took his gaze from you to look at it.

"my mother wrote this for you. she told me to tell you to only read it once you're back home," he handed him the letter.

helion's heart ached at the revelation of elowyn calling his court 'home'.

he accepted the letter and thanked the red-headed male, starting making his way to leave.

but before he could, he stopped at the voice of the heir calling for him.

he turned around to face him.

"i want to be part of her life," eris confessed without hesitation.

"what? we just agreed that no one can know about her, eris, and that includes you. she can't know you're her brother." helion explained.

"i know that," seeing the confused look Helion gave him, it was his turn to explain.

"she doesn't need to know me as her brother. a friend will be enough." he paused for a second, "beron just nominated me as autumn's emissary which means i will be the one going to your court for meetings so i want to take that as an opportunity to get to know her and to see her grow. that's my only condition, i already lost lucien, and i'm not going to lose her either.'

"very well, as long as you share those moments with elowyn. that's my only condition too," helion replied.

"consider it done."

without further words, the two males parted away.

one with a heart full and the other with an empty one.

•••

present

helion's heart was no longer full.

how could it be, when you, the best thing that ever happened to him was missing?

he saw the inner circle's face at the big revelation he had just told them.

rhysand broke the silence "why didn't you tell me? i could've helped you."

helion met his gaze, "i couldn't risk it. y/n is my number one priority, and she'll always be, so i did everything i had to do in order to keep her safe. i have no regrets."

feyre interlaced her fingers with rhysand's, asking the high lord, "does she know?"

"only that she's my daughter. she doesn't know about elowyn or eris and the rest of her brothers."

"she never mentioned anything," mor replied.

"i told her not to. y/n knows that she's my weakness and that if my enemies knew about her connection to me, they would use it as leverage. so i made sure no one outside of day knew it, except eris and elowyn, not even her other brothers knew it." helion explained.

"not even lucien?" feyre asked, feeling sorry for her friend.

"no, not even him."

"so how did beron find out?" azriel said, interrupting their conversation.

"i don't-" helion started, but before he could continue, the autumn heir arrived.

as soon as eris' eyes met helion's, he marched towards him.

the heir was angry, and he didn't spare a glance at the inner circle.

"where is she?" eris demanded and his heart dropped when he saw the state of the house.

when eris's eyes settle on everyone, all they saw was desperation and fear in his eyes.

"where is my sister?!"

a/n: thank you for reading!

general taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe

*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because i couldn't find your blog.

dividers by @cafekitsune

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