#here we go folks. act surprised.

[simmyfrobby]

Now the shame of it was that they loved each other. But they were both too young to know how to love. Full of doubt, he ran away.

hockey poetry post 113/?

― The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

[unproduciblesmackdown]

an approach of "everyone inherently deserving to have autonomous choices" as juxtaposed with, fundamentally opposed to even, "a select few entitled to limit others' ability to do so, making themselves more able to choose what happens to other people, enforced through power"

also the way "direct interpersonal exposure to an abusive party is sure like how other interactions in relation to power differentials / no principled approach that everything isn't a hierarchical competition actually, like taking up space, communicating; ft. double standards in favor of the winners" wherein it's like, it's not even just like "being in the haunted house of living with an abuser is like a Metaphor for existing amongst broader power disparities / w/selectively applied (by others) increased vulnerability / at the whims of w/e authority" like, more like a Model. it's the same principle and the same system and the same bullshit, just more confined / a smaller isolated unit of [nuclear household] or [romantic partnership] or w/e interpersonal specific social grouping. been training to recognize "wow just like [a reality of such experiences]" all my life actually

the difference of the possibilities of You Can Choose This versus limitations of arguing to the existing power structure to possibly acknowledge that you Have to [pursue certain option] b/c it's the only way, Objectively, so if only they can be shown this they would allow it....despite this situation not requiring "or you could've just been able to choose to do that freely in the first place" & by extension not requiring [threat to that power structure]

the pressure to [hey. don't unionize] like, the numbers always being against the few at the top, so it's required to have these iterations where other people can prop up this world of Gotta Have Power At Others' Expense by supporting people playing by the rules and keeping others in line; being someone who helps / supports the overall system of oppressive power structure and can enjoy wielding the granted power / being supported/insulated at others' expense / having a sense of entitled authority themselves. while people can be mad at those who are in the same boat / aren't actually wielding that structural power and scapegoat anyone like, well this is why we'll never get treated better by [group / individual in power], you're ruining it / responsible for those choices/actions of those in power....which doesn't challenge that empowered party's ability to choose those actions that are affecting everyone

versus support in the face of vulnerability to that, being what allows people to make choices for themselves / exist more freely. rejecting the idea of "well [person] fucked up so now i won't deign to reward / Not punish everyone after all" as being [person]'s fault; like "well if we all only acted perfectly Deservingly / in just the right way, those in power would have to go 'oh okay everyone can be treated as inherently deserving now :)'" is the answer, when even then, b/c of the power structure putting them In Charge anyways, at most, they simply Could do that and Could graciously rescind that power. and if they don't, oh well, you didn't all do it right after all, assign blame amongst yourselves to stay in continual competition and avoid recognizing that actual improvement requires a different approach where you have to support each other instead of criticizing / blaming / competiting and just hoping there's always someone else to get the brunt of the most negative attention / harmful treatment

thinking of queerness as an expanse of possibility and autonomous choices. versus the limitations of "patriarchal society atomized into nuclear family units" concept of sexuality & gender, Cishet Ideals. existing outside those ideals as being a matter of what people Can do. versus what they Have to do. arguing that the guiding light, the defining principle here should be recognition of people who Have to be gay, for example, as what doesn't really challenge the power structure that requires & reinforces homophobia. while "what if it doesn't matter if people are objectively proven & universally recognized as Having to be gay. what if people Can all choose to do some gay shit regardless, without these choices being limited by their vulnerability to harm, such that Everyone is pushed into [patriarchal nuclear family unit ideals] life." even if you argued everyone ever is straight, actually, the problem is in whether you can define what that means and enforce it on everyone. people who Are straight are harmed and made more vulnerable by patriarchy & the imposition of [your only source of social support is within the isolated nuclear family unit]; Cishet Ideals are also an impossible standard that can also be used to blame anyone, including people who could would consider themselves cishet, for their inevitable failure to live up to them as the reason that [isolation & domination sucks actually] is hurting them. like how cis people also never live up to supposed Cis Gender ideals and are subject to trying to better earn, & objectively prove, their quality as a member of their gender, thus worth, & be under constant scrutiny re: gender & able to be blamed for failing to live up to the ideals. while, of course, the fractalized iterations of power structures means cis people still get to be gender cops at the expense of anyone more vulnerable

language as an art & science, necessarily always evolving & in flux, rather than prescriptive & static. the way that Static Prescriptive approach may be marginally associated with "well this helps Coordinate; streamline; reduce confusion" but Uncertainty is also possibility. Allistic Social Ideals seeming to be about [minimize confusion, streamline, coordinate] in the best light, but also being affected by ableism, and this approach being used to Other people, as enemy &/or lower on the social hierarchy, to be diminished/harmed either way. this being able to be used against any individuals or groups that can thusly be [othered]; ableism also affects everyone: the logic that we don't think we should all support each other / respect autonomy, we're instead all subject to an eternal Meritous test to prove who has the Capacity to Deserve to have more power than some others. ableism also needing to be understood in juxtaposition with / the context of racism; vice versa. the "you Can't" in applied authoritative power being not just [i won't allow it] but [i won't allow it b/c you are literally incapable anyways]....in every power disparity, the empowered supposedly deserve it on a merit that grants them Superior Abilities. e.g. patriarchy requires ableism, women Cannot do the things that men get to do, in their bones & minds & souls they must be shopping; the same logics play out like they do in ableism, patriarchy is only bolstered by "oh well you're good at Other things that I'm not good at :)" which conveniently means in ways still exploited to support those who already have more power while you stay more disposable; acknowledgment of those who "overcome" being disabled, or a woman, to do the thing abled people or men can do, which just means All of you should try harder and then you'd all be equal to us, it's your own fault :) and/or simply taking ideas, recognition, credit from them. even "gotta colonize & subjugate the world, which is good actually b/c it's for jesus" is like, legitimately oh you're welcome for now having The Capacity to go to heaven: but also to justify violence & oppression based on who's Inherently more evil from this christian evangelist perspective, which happens to deserve death or exploitation (work & suffering good for your inner christianness. you're welcome)

white man's burden, how Easy women have it, can't believe 5 cents of my taxpayer money might've gone to a disabled person somewhere to barely live on b/c "see how even Institutionally Recognized As Legitimately(tm) 'Disabled' people are treated?" has to be a threat for all / not display what it could be like to actually support anyone's genuine wellbeing, including their having the support to have more expansive choices in their life, vs just barely hovering over the constant threat of dangerous increased vulnerability....

that those in power will very readily consider themselves Constantly Besieged, Wronged, Threatened By Any & Everyone; versus those actually negatively affected by being low enough on some hierarchy to be harmed & denied autonomy by others with more power being the ones who have to struggle to even stop blaming themselves or at least people who Aren't the ones with that power, who are more likely to cling to "well, it's my fault, and i Can earn my way out of this" narratives....which actually would be a situation in which one theoretically Does have more autonomy; thus more palatable than believing that anything's truly out of your hands / there isn't so simple a solution here / [other person; people] are/were never going to actually start affording you respect as a person

back to the expanse of possibility of language, subjective & in flux & developed by the mutual Effort to (more) successfully communicate....thinking about being autistic and someone talking about how the demands in Trying to be understood verbally means innovating and developing Language thusly. an art and a science. creative and experimentally backed. (also math/science as approaches are also creative / Not the antithesis of art, thanks). thinking of how sure nt (another socially constructed Ideal that doesn't exist to describe reality but to demand everyone just try to stop failing to have earned better / congrats on bringing it upon yourself, you're responsible for my feelings & actions) people might generally approach communication like "??? idk i don't have to regularly have a conscious approach, so i don't. i just Am Normal" versus when your communicative approach, for any various reasons, is Not considered normal, thus not considered ideal, so you Do have to interact with people consciously, Translate for their benefit as best you can. thinking of the idea of Poetry as a work understood to require a third space between two parties: it's not colloquial, the poet is using language in this noncolloquial context to communicate a concept, perchance create a link to an effect they can't invoke with a preexisting word for it, while the reader/listener is understood to likewise have an active role, be consciously trying to not just "correctly" receive the meaning, but explore the possibilities of various, even ongoing, interpretation, in conversation with the poet's efforts and the reality of them as being another person, and also perhaps allowing for the spontaneous mutual discovery of possible meaning for the third space / conversation between speaking and interpretating. (versus artist as authorititative vanguard, communicating something static & definitive that others can only Fail to interpret correctly, which is just like them. lol) like, what's not Poetic, in that sense, about two people bringing mutual conscious effort, flexible interpretation / room for possibility, interest in getting it right not to bolster ego but to have had a more successfully constructive interaction. which could even include the ability to interpret someone's lack of communication in expected ways; their choice not to engage thusly; as anything other than a threat or slight to your supposed entitlement to just that. like i deserve phonecalls over emails or speaking over nonspeaking or even the Guaranteed opportunity to communicate w/anyone when & how i want to, i'm simply being so good faith curious i swear........anyways, i'm not that into reading poems, absolutely not into making them, not in this "literal" sense anyways, but again what's not poetic about just trying to communicate via this Translation all the time. the way i can latch on to phrasings from prose written by people who also write poems, and/or just sure appreciate like the entirety of some essay of theirs, the approach, its execution. anger is a type of geography. when something is ignored, it can do what it likes, sometimes.

everyone always on twitter trying to outrun some [every other day's qrt trend of "what opinion has everyone hate you" tangled meme that is sure like "and apparently you're about to acquiesce" in context but also that everyone Loves to air, actually, hence it being in constant, inescapable distribution] (i don't see it b/c successful curation ig lol). everyone trying to feel like they're more worthy vanguard authoritative Radically Non Cishet than others constantly just going off of vibes, which is to say, probably just going like "but have we considered being more biphobic" or some more tried & true similar [this is the same old shit & the Cishet Ideals are supported by it] takes that are like, "any Unleashed Edgy Freethinking standup comedian man saying shit you'd hear in a mall food court from some rando's uncle" like, we have heard of this actually, but sure you're so brave for suggesting maybe the transgenders have gotten a bit too powerful, except you're saying it in a [but this is totally queer analysis] way....queer analysis Linguistics being like, undoubtedly the favorite [i am become flynn rider swords tangled twitter meme] avenue. this like language revanchism like "this word must be returned to this specific usage" but a) it's never returning it to a way that it actually existed and b) is the prescriptive ossification of our limited preexisting language to discuss queerness, guided by the idea that it'd be bad if it was Too Inclusive, actually the principle we want to operate on here. is indulging in the level of power trip feeling of like tormenting a peer in middle school really your most serious focus and genuine efforts in supporting people's ability to exist as they are

how did the "asexuals can't be queer" stint work out for everyone? the fact that all the arguments also backed every other form of bigotry and abusive logic aside: what were the results, exactly? stuart cishet was thwarted from nefariously entering a queer space & ruining it for all, b/c he no longer had the option to cross the drawbridge by saying he was asexual, right, that was a close one. anyone amused by being like "they hate to see a meboss winning" just limited to not even arguing about "uhh but you're As Good As straight" (a crucial, supportive tool in our history, right) but rather just like....deciding it's about asexuals being cringe or something, and who could easily move on not by actually operating on better principles than "cishet ideals of controlling people's sexuality is: Don't Have Sex, right? which is also the whole of what asexuality describes or entails?" or "what's gained by focusing on making this as exclusive as possible anyways. nonrhetorically. what do you gain or facilitate. what do you lose or preclude." but just like "haha well i've moved on anyways"

your choices re: your sexuality and gender as ones you Can make. with expansive possibility borne of the support as a person that you should get merely by virtue of existing. versus "but i Have to exist like this" as an appeal to the established power structure to perhaps elect to allow Some truly legitimate gays to suffer a little less effects of homophobia. who can in turn be like "ugh, bisexuals CAN seem straight to everyone. so they're ruining it for us truer more legitimately gay people." see: it's still homophobia's fault. see: your sameness is in Wanting something else, being able to Choose something else without fear of the violent enforcement of the demands & requirements of Cishet Ideals. someone who's never had sex / dating deemed Gay Enough isn't "as good as straight." see: it's not that everyone thinks you Can't do gay shit, it's that everyone Knows you can, and that's exactly the problem, violence is required to try to force otherwise, to limit the only option for any support in life to the happy nuclear family existence (for those who deserve even that, versus mere support to someone else's nuclear household). it's not a Problem when people center transness on what you want to do, that you are able to choose to do it, support, a better life than you would have otherwise. or even to say it should be so easy that, yes, someone can Just Say that they're trans. versus the idea that the only legitimate trans people are miserable, wish they were cis, and are going through processes legitimized & controlled by "but are you really trans. do you really deserve it" roadblocks & resistance & required cis approval, and their difficulties & unnecessary infliced pain & vulnerability in doing so? is really the fault of some theoretical teen who wants to say they aren't cis b/c they just feel like it. damn them.

queerness (see: logic of ableism in all these matters) being Suffering, what you're Limited to being by demands outside your control so please recognize this, what you Have to do (you just might be more cishet otherwise, like surely all the bisexuals or transgenders want to be. damn them), a difficult and exclusive experience that is the fault of those in the group themselves: does not challenge the [cishet ideals] including [enforcers of cishet ideals get to choose which gays to begrudgingly recognize, perhaps conditionally / temporarily, to prove to everyone else they might be Worthy too, if they tried harder to deserve it / scrutinized more people in their group for not playing by the rules and appeasing those in power enough]

while, of course, people can think they're the bravest smartest ones / the most suffering more than jesus hated ones for this. biphobia / transphobia being evergreen, while asserting that it's actually being cis gold star gays that's the most oppressed life. accepting the limits of [what Externalized Activities, like defined sexual interactions or gender presentation, are encoded into legal arguments for policing queer people] as indeed what should thus be the boundaries of defining existence outside cishet ideals, and what supports that. the hot trends over the years, i remember circa 2010 "the transes On Here are way out of line expecting way too much. they have to remember they're weird and it's sooo hard (and weird) for us." the blog i unfollowed for accepting a submission about "can't stand trans guys who hate to be misgendered but won't try to seem less feminine." the twitter i unfollowed for rt'ing a take about "can't stand bi ppl who hate to experience biphobia but won't try to seem less straight." the epic trend of "Really respecting trans people means talking over them to tell them they're now equivalent to cis people so stop talking about your experiences otherwise," i can't even trust that nobody ever Didn't take that to its logical conclusion of "straight trans people are as good as cishet." the asexuality exclusion bullshit. eternal "the most legitimate nonbinary people seem androgynous" points that would, in fact, require nonbinary to be defined by, and limit themselves according to, the gender binary & its ideals. trying to cut off the LG from the BT, as has always gone on, including just with the linguistic making shit up like evergreen Flynn Rider Edgy Meme argument about how everyone's trying to steal the word Lesbian from you to just be used Illegitimately, with bonus fallback on the fact of patriarchy. less common but i've sure also seen arguing about Gay being used too willynilly as well and arguing The Rules / pretending that there's never been an overlap with gay men, (cis or trans) women, bisexuals; apparently believing that it also would likewise be Better trying to narrow definitions into something more exclusive when all our language is to create possibilities out of what was logistically unspeakable before. when we've Perfectly Stratified all the vocab and are just standing around, what's the next step that's now more possible because of those efforts? having the LG doesn't enforce the gender binary, unless you're trying to recreate your own version of it, as people in fact always are. "um it's simple. people who are the Truest members get to decide who else are the Gay Women and Gay Men." who gets to draw these lines for everyone else, and why do they get to do it. what would be achieved by embracing Purity concretely, eternally affixed in place; versus fuzziness & expecting flux & future possibilities, where even seeming contradictions just mean there's even more here than you thought. do you Want to be queer and Get to make those choices, or not. what if You are the only True Gay in the world, everyone else is cishet and just pretending and saying they're also gay? you'd still only gain everything by that being possible. if you were the only Real Person and can't know anyone else's interiority is only an illusion: you can only lose everything by acting like you're the only real person. that's how some people already operate as individuals vs everyone else, or a member of the Truest People group vs those beneath them who are ruining paradise. you operate on those principles of being entitled to dehumanize others, you have the power to exploit that

[you can't define Woman in a way that doesn't exclude some women / include things/people that decidedly aren't women] applies for us too b/c The Gender Binary Isn't Real. it's also of course used to serve patriarchy, ableism, racism, all of it. like how we can understand / analyze Everything as political. white supremacy everywhere, all the time. ableism in all of it. every interaction or behavior existing in a medium of Power Relations. how do you define woman. why would your definition get to be imposed on anyone else. would you demand there be a "take the racist ableist misogynist gender binary, but give it a lil Gay spin" situation. is being a woman in required physical traits. in required presentation. required experiences. what's served by being mad at "i'm not a woman but i'm in community with them b/c i have [xyz] traits; [abc] presentation; &/or [qrs] experiences" and using language applied to a group considered Women b/c language tends to assume a strictly defined, Real gender binary. what's served by going "hmm, that's a problem. make this More strictly defined and binary" in response instead of focusing on the connections there and solidarity through [this is all iterations / fractalized areas of the same shit, who has the power to exploit & compound others' vulnerability] [power control abuse]. are you a woman b/c that's how you want to identify? b/c [reasons you don't have to explain, b/c on principle your choices for yourself are respected, no one has the authority to thwart this]? are you a lesbian likewise b/c of your wants & choices? great. the idea our language has ever actually supported clear lines even between gender, a binary that requires Cishet Ideals & all that that demands....? inaccurate, aligned w/bigotry, nonconstructive, unserious.

the twitter i follow of a group who supports incarcerated lgtbq+ people, and how the other year they voted to include cishet ppl w/hiv or aids. the goofs & gags like "queering our marriage b/c i have more flexibility" like yknow, i agree with the least measures that increase support / choices for any women as in fact legitimately contributing to The Queer Agenda more than people trying to make the terms masc & femme into [thee gender binary. but gayer] remix, or complaining about fellow queers who are totally ruining it for everyone else, The Establishment totally would've graciously & benevolently deigned to allow our autonomy (with a "but you're on thin ice" and ability to revoke that at any time, but whatever) until This jerk who's totally as good as cishet Made them choose otherwise for the 9000 zillionth time!!! well i'm going to go laugh at language people are developing to better describe their experiences, realities, wants, & values, b/c i'm obviously more Normal & Deserving than those weirdos. and to keep stuart cishet at bay, this is a huge threat actually so you're welcome that i focus on going "but COULD a cishet person just PRETEND to identify thus" like, yes. yes, they always could. what of it, if everyone could?

tl;dr idk things like "accepting the limitations that you might possibly only be Allowed anything if you can prove you Haaaave to / prove that nobody could possibly miserably force themself through otherwise (you can't)." "accepting the limitations of: wielded authority would always be benevolent & supportive, or even not wielded at all, if not for those among you ruining it for everyone else." that of course it's like "being queer is supposedly miserable so who would choose it? but also we have to prevent people from even having the choice" b/c they Know people would & do make those choices, and you have to enforce [marriage & patriarchy & nuclear family] life even w/cishet people, the power disparity requires constant maintaining & deflection of scrutiny / responsibility focused back on those in power. what would happen if every straight person in the world could just say they're gay. or every cis person could just say they're nonbinary now. great. say tomorrow they miraculously all do: great. the cishet ideals gender binary aren't Real. it's supposed to be so conflated with reality & unquestionable that the term "cishet" isn't supposed to exist; "stop Forcing Labels on me. hypocritical much" / "i don't know what a cisgender is but i know it shouldn't be allowed around children" style. what would happen if everyone could "claim" to be queer. epic. if everyone said they're nonbinary & now the gender binary doesn't exist. hell yes.

"everyone can just say some shit" is always true, you can always question their intentions / meaning, but when you can't prove the interiority of another person, making things Contingent on that only serves to make it impossible: like someone having to prove they're Meritously Good Enough as a person, inherently, and what's withheld / prevented by those in power b/c of it, rather than what we think everyone inherently deserves As a person, and what's provided / made possible by other people as peers b/c of it. what do people Actually Do. what do they Get to do. actions manifest externally, and affect others outside of the self. how have the possibilities & autonomy in our lives, anyone's lives at all, been supported / improved by unserious stances focused on arguing relative authority by people going "watch this. the haters" and getting up on the cross or in the middle of the swords with some linguistic arguing that doesn't think about what supports anyone or challenges existing norms & ideals or reflects reality rather than going "this is my idea of the vibe and some people agree or could be convinced." we've existed before modern terms that classify groups, and we'll have more, different terms to describe experiences and ideas going forward, which is: good. the divisions are already Not Real, how interested are you exactly in your language being like "but i think we could just have different divisions. a different Gender Binary. cishet people Have to be cishet? i'm sure that's real & fine, so: we Have to be Not cishet"

anyways april being autism acceptance month And national poetry month (u.s.)

[sirfrogsworth]

These folks watched a whole ass movie not realizing the main character was transgender and it was a 2 second kiss between men that made them lose their ever-loving minds.

It's amazing to me that if it weren't for those 2 seconds, many of these folks would have given this movie a 4 or 5 star review. But two seconds of the most vanilla, non-sexy, yet genuine and loving kiss somehow ruined every moment of enjoyment the previous 90 minutes brought them.

Imagine if they realized the trans allegory. I wish I had a way to tell them. I wish I had a way to make them realize they related to a trans character. That they rooted for them. That they accidentally empathized with a trans story.

This was a beautiful movie. In every sense. I really hope between this and Spider-Verse, we can have a moratorium on every 3D animated movie using this style of character design.

It's time to let go of the rubber toy look.

I love Toy Story, but its success kind of doomed 3D animation to never take any risks. I thought maybe it was just a limitation of the medium, and perhaps it was for a time... but after seeing Love Death + Robots and Arcane...

I realized they can make 3D animation look however the hell they want now.

The rubber people were just risk avoidance.

"That's what people are used to and so we're sticking with it."

But the real beauty of Nimona was the story. I won't spoil it but the plot is pretty much, "If you get to know a trans person, you probably won't hate them anymore."

Not knowing any trans people is one of the biggest factors in anti-trans bigotry. And so this movie uses allegory to let an audience get to know a trans person. And you get to experience someone slowly start to understand what it is to be trans from an outside perspective.

It's sad that will probably be lost on those folks above because all they will remember is the kiss. Seriously, it was such a harmless, mundane, blink-and-you-miss-it kiss. But I'm hoping that others will take the lesson of this movie to heart. That you should get to know people before you judge them.

Part of me does wish we could tell trans stories without allegory. That we could just have overt trans characters. But I think this is the best representation possible right now.

It's crazy that Supergirl was one of the bravest shows as far as modern trans representation. It wasn't an edgy HBO drama trying to push boundaries. It was a family-friendly superhero show and they were just like, "Here is a transgender woman with superpowers and it's fine." And I loved that it was part of the character but it wasn't all the character was. Though I think they just missed the manufactured "moral panic" window where that choice would have been extremely controversial causing boycotts of Warner Bros. and whatnot.

My only complaint about Nimona was a small penis joke. It went by very quickly and many may even miss it. But I was surprised to see it in this movie in particular. Especially since those jokes can have collateral damage toward trans folks. With all of the positive messages, wasting a joke on body shaming was a tad disappointing. I mean, it was a fairly lighthearted "Is it cold in here?" joke. I don't want to make it sound worse than it was. But it still registered on my Richter scale of things that bother me.

Anyway, I wholeheartedly give Nimona a 5 out of 5. It helped me understand my friends on a deeper level and it was warm and funny and entertaining. There was a scene at the end that was so beautiful and heart-wrenching and I was crying my eyes out. The animation and the symbolism and the acting were just so perfect.

It's a shame Disney tried to kill this movie. But I am so glad it was allowed to exist despite that.

[crvptidgf]

Luckiest

Hazel Callahan x Reader (fluff)

➸ summary: reader takes it upon themselves to watch over hazel when the worst happens

➸ warnings/notes: mentions of a physical fight, mentions of blood and injuries, slight mentions of medical drugs

➸ requested?: yes! ↴

- something where reader takes care of hazel after she gets the shit beat out of her by tucker

word count: 1.7k

————————

THE CLUB WAS disbanded for the time being. Nobody had spoken to PJ since last morning, and there was a chance that the club was shutting down anyway. Hazel felt betrayed by the way she was treated. So, in solidarity, you all decided to keep your distance from PJ until she apologized.

Recently, Hazel had been acting a bit off. Of course you knew that she was upset over what PJ said, but your words provided little comfort to her. Something else was on her mind.

You say next to her on the bleachers, the gym slowly filling to the brim with students and teachers. Hand finding Hazel’s you squeezed it tightly three times, hoping to cheer her up. She merely smiled at you, her eyes flickering nervously around the room.

Deciding to not stress her out further, you didn’t ask what was wrong. She would tell you in her own time.

Quickly diverting your attention to the footballers running up, you rolled your eyes at the sight of Jeff. Everybody was cheering - their hands holding up posters and signs of his stupid face.

After the cheerleaders started off the pep rally, you watched as Isabel smiled and ran up to Josie. You were happy for them. They seemed cute together.

Hazel eyed them up briefly before her attention was back to the events below her. She held your hand in both of hers now, her knee bouncing as she seemingly waited for something. It was like she knew something was about to happen.

“Hazel-“ you began, but the speakers interrupted you.

“Thank you all for joining us here today, folks,” said Tim. “There’s been some… exciting stuff happening at Rockridge Falls recently.”

You furrowed your brows. Glancing at Hazel, you noticed that her eyes were trained on the boy speaking. She swallowed hard as he continued to talk.

“How many of you,” he said as he walked forward a little bit, “know about that little girl fight club?”

Everybody began to clap, their cheers mixing in as well. You didn’t like this. Something felt really weird, but you couldn’t pinpoint what.

As Tim’s voice blared throughout the gym, your stomach churned.

“Well do we have a surprise for you! We’re gonna bring…” he trailed off as he scanned the crowd. He mumbled a ‘where is she’, before he found what he was looking for.

He smiled as he snapped his fingers and pointed upwards. “Hazel.”

You locked eyes with the girls as they looked up at you, confused. Shaking your head and shrugging, you turned to Hazel. Her hand was slowly slipping out of yours as she walked down to the pep rally.

“Where are you going?” you asked, but she was already long gone.

When you found out what was about to happen, your heart dropped. What was she thinking?

Gaze trailing after her as she descended the steps, you couldn’t help but get increasingly nervous. As soon as the cage was revealed and you understood what was happening, your stomach completely flipped - you felt like you were going to puke from anxiety.

A sharp gasp left your lips as Hazel was shoved across the gym, the sound of her back hitting the floor making you flinch. You watched as she slowly got up, sprinting towards Tucker at full speed. She threw a punch straight to his face and kicked him in the stomach. The whole crowd was in awe, and you felt slightly more relaxed once you saw that she was handling herself well.

Hazel jumped up onto Tucker’s back, clawing at his face. Her nails left deep indents in his cheeks, and you winced as you saw blood pour from beneath her fingertips.

All of a sudden, she was flung face first back to the floor. Her mouth was pooling with blood as she tried to sit up, but her arms were too exhausted to push her weight up.

You got up from your seat, shoving past the people next to you. Whatever Tim was saying seemed to be shocking a lot of people, but you didn’t bother listening. Everything that he said went in one ear and out the other. All you cared about right now was getting Hazel somewhere safe and comfortable.

But your plans were cut short when you watched as Tucker advanced towards Hazel. His footsteps were heavy and quick, and you couldn’t get to her fast enough - it’s as if you were moving in slow motion.

Hazel’s head was kicked backwards, the back of her head banging onto the floor as she groaned, slowly losing consciousness.

“Hazel!” you screamed, letting out a noise of fear that you had never been able to produce before. You mumbled to yourself in a panic, hoping and praying that she would be okay.

Your knees slammed painfully onto the floor next to her as you slowly lifted her head up. She looked absolutely terrible - you could already see bruises and scars beginning to form on her perfect face. The other girls ran up to help you stand Hazel up, your arms wrapped around her waist as you held her right arm around your neck.

Leaving Isabel behind to talk to Josie, you made your way to Hazel’s car as quick as you could.

She was going to the hospital. There was no way you’d bring her home immediately; especially since you had no idea what you’d tell her mom.

—————

Hazel had been pretty concussed when you reached the hospital. The doctors gave you some pain medication to give her for when she woke up, and told you to not let her fall asleep for a little while.

By the time you were done she had already stirred awake, wincing as she reached her hand to her beaten face. She had a huge bandage on her nose, and her eye was swollen shut. The doctor’s ran some more tests and discharged her fairly quickly.

The drive home was silent since her meds were kicking in pretty harshly.

You thanked God that her mom wasn’t home when you got there. Fumbling through the car keys to find the key to her front door, you made your way over to Hazel’s side of the car to help her out.

“I can walk, don’t worry about me,” she said, her voice hoarse from the lack of use the past few hours.

“I am worrying, Hazel. You got beat to a pulp right in front of me.”

You gently helped her stand up before locking the car. Hazel leaned against you, her head finding refuge on your shoulder as you patiently walked to the entrance.

Sighing, you unlocked it as you urged her inside.

She didn’t object as you lead her upstairs to her bedroom before making her lie down on the bed. You began to untie her shoelaces silently. Hazel didn’t move - whether it was because she was tired and in pain, or just embarrassed, you didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

You placed her shoes at the edge of her bed before you crawled next to her. She could barely open her left eye, and her right one was so bruised that you could just barely make out the blue in them.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re safe now,” you said as you patted your legs for her to lay on you.

She made a subtle noise of pain as she rested her cheek on your leg, but eventually settled in as she draped her arm across your thighs.

Hazel hummed as she felt your hands begin to thread through her hair. All her previously tense muscles relaxed under your touch.

“Oh Haze… What were you thinking?” you said solemnly.

Her eyes scrunched closed. That’s exactly the question she hoped you wouldn’t ask. Honestly, she didn’t even really understand it herself. Clearing her throat, she moved to lay on her back so she could look up at you.

“I thought I’d be fighting PJ.”

That was all she needed to say. You nodded your head, immediately sympathized with her. What PJ had said to Hazel was pretty rough, and you knew that she was already pretty ashamed of how her mother acted so it hit her harder than it should’ve.

You wanted to scream at PJ when it happened. Hazel had friends. Friends who rushed by her side when she got beat down, friends who stuck by her when the group disbanded.

Speaking of your friends, you decided that Hazel should be with them right now.

“How about we call up the girls? We can have a movie night,” you said as you pushed her hair from her forehead.

Hazel smiled as much as she could, her face still stiff and painful. “Yeah. I’d like that,” she whispered, closing her eyes at the feeling of you caressing all her sore spots. Your feather-like touch could make her fall asleep if she wasn’t heavily advised against doing so.

You shot the girls a quick text, letting them know that Hazel was some-what okay. They said they would arrive soon with snacks, and you smiled.

Hazel deserved this. She deserved to have so many people who cared for her, and wanted to see her happy.

“Haze,” you muttered, your voice gentle as to not startle her daze. She opened her eyes, lids drooping as she stared at you.

“They’ll be here in 30. Is that alright?”

She nodded before turning to face your stomach, her head burying into your jumper as she hugged your torso close to hers. “Thank you,” was all she said.

Hazel breathed in your scent. You always made her feel at home, and she was so lucky to have you. She felt this with everything in her - she was the luckiest woman alive. And that’s exactly what she told you.

“I’m so lucky,” she said, her voice muffled by the cotton jumper.

“How so?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at her. Your fingers still massaged through her scalp, your other arm laying on her waist.

Hazel peeked through the fabric to glance at you, a small grin playing at her lips.

“Because I have the most caring girlfriend ever.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you sank further down onto the bed, ushering Hazel to cuddle into your chest. Arms wrapped securely around her, you silently agreed with her.

You also felt like the luckiest person ever. And you couldn’t be more grateful that you met Hazel at the perfect time.

- - - - -

[alastors-antlers]

Why Alastor is good aroace rep after all, written by an aroace

Hello all! I just want to start off this post by saying that I'm one person who definitely doesn't speak for all aroaces, but I wanted to make a post on this anyway, and maybe some folk would be interested in hearing out another perspective?

I'm not really caught up on everything that's been said over the course of HH's creation - only more recent interviews, since I'm pretty new to the fandom. Apologies if I've missed anything, but also I do not have the time to keep up with all the out-of-canon-material backstory unfortunately. I'm working with what we've got here.

So here's the thing:

Alastor is cruel, he's narcissistic, he doesn't care about anyone except himself, he's a serial killer and a monster.

(That's the argument I've heard - please tell me if that's not really what people are going for lol, in which case I've totally misunderstood?)

The issue with aroace rep when it paints asexual people with those traits is that it aims to dehumanizes them. Sex and love are essential to the human experience, right? So why wouldn't someone be interested? Because they're self-absorbed, and cold, and detached. They don't have the capacity to love others enough to feel romance.

And sure, Alastor is a killer, and a schemer, and prideful, and a monster by hell's standards. But no matter how above it all and stylish and in control and provocative he wants to be, he's a very human character, and his aroace-ness never serves to add to his alienation. You could even say that it makes him seem even more personable.

That's what I think is the key difference.

why he's human

Alastor's whole persona is about control, and he basically straight-up says this. He's controlling what his enemies know, what his public image is like. His goal is to be the Radio Demon -- overlord of Hell, charismatic, Machiavellian, and undefeatable. He's not. Despite that smile plastered over his face (a powerful tool, huh) he's so expressive for someone who's constantly pretending.

You see his exasperation with the Egg Bois and with Charlie's ranting; his nervousness in front of Zestial; his frustration with Lucifer and the petty lengths he goes to to piss off the ruler of Hell.

You see his desperation, making that deal with Charlie. He's surprised by the idea of being vulnerable in front of an enemy like Adam, and so close to danger. He drops the radio filter and the affect out of fear, and runs on broadcast TV to let out panic and anger and bitterness in his hideout, where no one else can see him.

He has a smile that tells us he's genuinely happy to see someone; it's a little wider than his default. You see it with Mimzy's greeting, you see it with Rosie. Rosie, especially, serves to make Alastor more human to the audience. More on this later, but for now, I'm just saying that you can see that he at least seems to respect her greatly. Whatever bond they have, we know that he trusts her to touch him, to share history with him, and with support that he trusts no one else for.

He pretends, but he can't pretend it all away. Loads of these emotions aren't even advantageous for him to show. It isn't necessarily how the typical asexual psychopath acts; he's not emotionless or only capable of anger or brutality.

He's so full of emotion that it leaks through, despite all that he does to avoid it. He's not inhuman and aloof, not really - he's so, so human, even when he tries not to be because he thinks that'll be what keeps him above all the rest. In control, and free from his chains.

(If anyone wants to see images about all this, I'll make a separate post - just let me know.)

(I also have another post, talking about why Alastor is at least a little attached to the hotel's residents too, shown via conversation with Niffty. In what way? different question.)

how the aroace part contributes to that

Now, to be fair, we don't hear much about his aroaceness in canon. It's just not relevant a lot of the time.

In the pilot, Angel's proposition ruffles his feathers so much that Alastor blanks for a moment. It's a joke, sure, but that ace panic face is a pretty popular Alastor moment in the fandom - Alastor, thrown off-balance by a sex joke of all things, after so many years in Hell that he should probably be used to this.

It's a moment that makes him more approachable; his aroaceness shows him unprepared for something someone else does for one of the only real moments in the whole episode.

And the other part: the ace in the hole statement.

Rosie apparently knows Alastor so well that she read that he's aroace. That tells us about their relationship; namely, that it is long-standing and genuine enough that she gleaned a piece of real information from him. It's a casual fact that she knows about him before he even figured it out himself. It lends legitimacy to their bond - this bond that shows us a more comfortable and warm side of Alastor that we don't often see.

If their relationship is purely business, isn't this something pretty frivolous and personal? It's not like he has anything to gain by telling her about his life, but she learned about it somehow. How close are they? That's where it adds a layer of complexity and personality to his character..

thoughts on representation

Overall, Alastor's an interesting character who has a level of depth and care and personality (outside of cruelty) that asexual psychopath tropes lack. Again, the moments where he's being represented as disinterested in sex or romance don't make him seem detached. Again, they don't say "look how hostile toward relationships his behaviour is - how separate he is from our humanity". That's what bad villain ace rep is. That's not what the show's doing.

Also: I'm not saying that we need to lower our standards or anything, but even if you think it's not the best rep, I feel like we should be supporting HH's efforts here. I know that on Tumblr we have a pretty queer-friendly space going, which is honestly an understatement lol but

Aces are incredibly underrepresented in fiction. There's a whole Wikipedia page about asexual characters in media, and it's short as all hell, and even if you consider what's on there you see quite a number of one-off characters who are never mentioned again.

In terms of real life business - before the DSM updated their definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in 2013, identifying as asexual wasn't even a recognized thing. If you talked to a clinician about your lack of sexual desire, you could be diagnosed with a disorder. Only in the 5th edition do we now have a little exclusion footnote about it.

The concept of asexuality hasn't been explored nearly as much as other queer identities in our scientific research. We get crumbs in terms of mainstream representation and understanding. House M.D. has an episode where House "disproves" us because he's just so smart.

Alastor isn't going to be perfect representation. There's no such thing as perfect representation, and from the moment he was conceptualized, you could see how people would take him poorly. Still, I think he's a net positive.

He isn't a side character or a token ace - he's a core part of the show, whose personality and character motivations we can reasonably presume are going to be explored much more deeply in upcoming season(s). He's loved by the fandom. Right now, given what we know, I trust Vivziepop to write the aroace representation he deserves, because with the way I've heard the cast/directing/etc. talk about him, they're trying to do the aroace community justice, so I wish people would let up just a little on the whole "Alastor is bad rep".

Let's give him a chance, all right?

[shadowshrike]

Interfering with Halsin's Portal

It's pretty well known that there are a few situations you can get in where Halsin is well and truly angry rather than disappointed or worried, but I don't think a lot of folks know one of those situations is if you mess with his portal to the Shadowfell. It's a heartwrenching bit of acting. It's also fundamental to the plot of my in-progress fic Girdled Roots, so I figured I might share it with the other Halsin-lovers out there who have never seen it.

EDIT: Please be aware this is datamined dialog and may not be visible in game. It appears to be intended to trigger if the player attempts to enter the portal, which I don't believe is possible in the final game, or at least I couldn't find a way in the most recent version. Sharing this is simply to enjoy the incredible acting and get some plot bunnies moving, not to make any commentary about the game's canon.

Halsin's Initial Reaction

Halsin: No! Stop! Halsin: It's gone... that was our one chance. You've doomed this place to darkness! Halsin: I warned you - told you this was my burden to carry. Why didn't you listen?

The pure rage and despair is visceral. Prior to this, Halsin mentions this portal has been a century in the making, but he's so calm and measured (even upon success) that it is easy to dismiss just how much agony has plagued him as he hoped to make things right. This chance is everything to him. It has guided his every action for a century. It is a hundred years of work, prayer, and guilt to rectify the horrific fate of both land and people that came to nothing because a stranger he trusted refused to listen to him.

The portal breaking is the only time we hear Halsin speak the truth of its importance to him without a hint of emotional regulation. He is wild with pain. This man who is always thoughtful and slow to anger in the face of horror with the wisdom of age and suffering to guide him has become too overwhelmed to show any kindness.

Player response

The player is given several different ways to respond, and Halsin's reaction varies a surprising amount depending on how understandable their reason is. In most cases, he states that he needs to be alone afterward.

Option 1: I'm sorry - I acted on instinct. Halsin: Words won't repair what's been done to this land. Nothing will... I need to be alone.

You can hear the ache in Halsin's voice, but he's somewhat understanding of this response. He projects more sadness than unchecked rage. The player has admitted to making a mistake, and Halsin isn't the type of person who hold onto vengeance when an apology has been made, but he's not naive or people-pleasing enough to say "it's okay" or offer comfort either. The safest thing for everyone is for him to step away to grieve when there is nothing more to be done.

Option 2: I did all the work here - I couldn't just let you take the glory. Halsin: Glory?! There's no glory here. Now there's nothing here - only shadows and the total absence of hope. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Pure fury radiates from Halsin's response if the player focuses on the idea of being some grand hero rather than actually caring for the outcome. What the player did was an unforgiveable act, dooming everything that Halsin holds dear, and you have the audacity to complain about not getting glory from it. Again, he steps away, but this feels more like he's doing it because he believes you're worthless to reason with rather than because he needs a moment.

Option 3: I saved your grove - I figured it'd be best if I handled this as well. Halsin: We were this close to healing these lands. Now your arrogance has torn open the wounds once more. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Halsin is still frustrated with this response and unmistakably angry, but it's significantly toned down from the idea of wanting to go through the portal for glory. More like he thinks you're a self-important idiot than a truly terrible person.

Specialized player responses

There are also three special responses you can give if you have a particular class or diety.

Druid: I thought my powers were equal to yours. Halsin: It wasn't just power this needed - it was wisdom, understanding. I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse... and it seems I will continue to do so. Halsin:  There is nothing more to be said... I need to be alone.

Interestingly, he responds much more intensely to a druid than some of the other player choices. It might be in part because he feels like a druid should know better. He lectures the player like an Archdruid would initiates in his Grove, alternating between angry and explanatory, trying to get the player to understand why they were wrong and the sheer magnitude of their error. He ultimately ends in a much more resigned place here rather than personally resentful. Like a father-figure being forced through further life trials because of a child's foolish indiscretion. Frustrating, but inevitable.

Selunite: I trusted in Selûne to guide me through the shadows. Halsin: My friend - I wish you had trusted in me.

This is probably Halsin's most simple response with the least vitriol. He fully understands this answer, even if he's disappointed by it. The fact he calls the player 'friend' suggests a certain tired acceptance of this being a natural behavior for a Selunite trying to do good. We don't see this calm in other responses where Halsin was surprised by the player's choice.

Sharran: The Shadowfell is no place for non-believers - I couldn't allow you to soil it. Halsin: I should never have trusted an ally of the Dark Lady.

If you've ever taken Halsin along with Shadowheart in Act 2, then you know he is absolutely scathing toward her and her faith. He likely isn't as angry if a Sharran breaks the portal because it is utterly predictable. It merely confirms a truth he already knew and talked himself out of. That Sharrans cannot be fully trusted in matters of their goddess, even if one was good enough to rescue his people from the goblins.

[cheriladycl01]

Well, that's just the way the Cookie Crumbles ... - Fernando Alonso x Younger Actress! Reader

Plot: You are an actress/ stunt actress and get invited onto TOP Gear with Fernando Alonso to see who has the quickest time driving around Silverstone in your choice of car.

Credit to zerotosixty for the GIF

"So Fernando, you've had some interesting dating scandals over the years. Taylor Swift being one of them, however due to your most recent appearance on Top Gear, and having seen her around the paddock a few times people are wondering about your closeness to a certain Actress" the interviewing around the paddock asks as he comes up to Alonso, seeing he is alone and free to talk about the upcoming race and anything else.

"Well..." he starts before thinking back to the first time he met you.

"So today here we have Professional Driver in Formula One for Aston Martin Cognizant Racing Fernando Alonso" Paddy introduces as Fernando comes up and onto the stage shaking everyone's hands before taking a seat on the sofa in the Top Gear studio.

"That's not all that we have though tonight is it!" Chris says making Fernando frown, he assumed he was the only celebrity on tonight.

"No we also have Oscar Award Winning Actress and Stunt Actress, Y/N Y/L/N" Freddie says as you walk out onto the stage your high heels clopping against the flooring. You go and shake all of their hands, kissing Chris on either side of his cheeks having met him before.

"Hello" you smile waving at the crowd, screams coming from everywhere. You take everything in before taking at seat next to Fernando.

"So, we had both of you compete at a track that one of you knows extremely well" Chris starts and looks over at Fernando who nods, remembering a week ago him driving round the Silverstone track.

"Yes, i have raced that track many a time!" he admits.

"You've even won two Grand Prix there in 2006 and 2011. Which means gosh how old would have you been Y/N?" Paddy asks looking over to the younger actress.

"Oh, mmmm 2006 i would have been 13 years old, and 2011 i would have been 18" you work out mentally in your head.

"And its funny because we actually have a picture of you and Fernando Alonso back in 2011. You were just starting up your acting career! Look folks here it is" Freddie smiles showing the picture of you as a young adult stood with 30 year old Alonso.

"Woah i don't even remember that being you. I didn't even know who you were back then" Fernando says squinting at the picture in shock, trying to see if it really was you.

"I was awe struck with everything that was going on honestly i probably just looked like a fan. I can understand the confusion" you laugh knowing now that Fernando was actually a bigger fan of yours.

"Well, lets explain what we actually had these two do at Silverstone" Paddy answers.

"Yes, its about time. Lets show the video!" Freddie exclaims.

"Hello Top Gear Fans, today we are here at Silverstone shooting over one weekend, two different celebrities up against a totally new challenge" Chris introduces.

"I'm very excited for this challenge are you?" Freddie asks.

"Yeah, it's like the challenges we are normally privy too just without the pain being on us" Chris frowns, crossing his arms grumpily.

"So, todays challenge we have, Fernando Alonso and Y/N Y/L/N. They were asked to each choose a sports car in their budget to drive around Silverstone" Paddy introduces the challenge.

"Fernando is on Friday. Y/n on Saturday and today in the studio on Sunday its like our very own Top Gear Grand Prix" he admits showing the awfully drawn out plans for shooting.

"So, Fernando's been sent here with Aston Martin so we automatically knew he'll be taking the Aston Martin Valkyrie" Freddie says looking down at the cards in his hands.

"Yes it would be a little awkward if he chose another brand!" Chris laughs.

"The most surprising thing is Y/N has chosen the McLaren Speedtail! Is there a partnership we don't know about brewing?" Paddy asks.

And the video went on, little breaks where they came back to the show seeing Y/N and Fernando laughing along with each other and the presenters.

Eventually it showed Fernando go round, in dry conditions and very quickly. He was a seasoned expert at the track and new the racing line. However driving in an actual car was very different than his open wheeler.

Then it came back, he was asked about his run and how he felt that it had gone before switching onto you and the Saturday when you drove.

You had your helmet on, and you drove quickly. As a stunt actress you'd done a lot of risky driving in your time where you were confident in your skills to go quick and be able to drift without loosing any time or over-skidding to make the car flip and crash.

"So, are you both ready to find out who won?"

"Yes" you both had said in unison.

"Well, Fernando lets starts with you, you timed in at 1.32.823" Paddy says slowly reading off the card.

"And Y/N you timed in at a staggering 1.30.923" Freddie announces calling out the numbers really slowly. You looked at Fernando in shock, he also looked particularly shocked but seeing the way you didn't hesitate at any of the corners and seeing your aggressive way of driving from the videos it wasn't that much of a shock when he thought about it.

"How?" he asked

"Thats just the way the cookie crumbles baby" you smile at him.

His mind came back to the interviewer a small smile gracing on his face.

"Ahahah is he talking about his cool new girlfriend!" Lando squeals running back the camera seeing the look on his competitions face.

"Look at him, he's a grumpy grandad!" Albon follows with a quiet laugh that has George and Charles joining in with the mayhem.

"Yes, Y/N is my new girlfriend. We bonded after the filming for Top Gear and she took me away by her driving skills if im being honest" he admits, knowing he was still a little salty at how you'd beaten him and how you kept on insisting it was an age thing, you were younger and more spritely so of course you won.

He did find it funny and rather endearing the way you'd lean into him as you joked about how old he actually was, he loved you despite the teasing.

"But she isn't in Aston Martin, she's always seen in McLaren!" the interviewer pushes.

"Ah, well that is for her to show, i am not aloud to say anything. However, she will sneak over to Aston Martin to come and see me. I guess that's as she would say, the er cookie crumbles?"

A/N: sorry guys just two smaller individual imagines today where I've been busy with lots of uni stuff.

However, theres so much in the up and coming i think you'll all enjoy! We have a small Lance Stroll imagine that should be out tonight as well! Then we have a cute Pierre Gasly and Reader!

And then of course the continuation of my series such as Charles, Carlos, George and Oscar with the edition of a new Lando Series coming soon!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee

[vintagestarlight]

Couple's Trip

Summary: you and John take a trip for your anniversary and John has a very special question to ask

Pairing: John Price x gf!reader

Words:~ 2.0k

Warnings: fluff, tiny bit of angst(?), smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it folks :3), MDNI!!

A/N: so this has been sitting in my drafts for months and I finally finished it! Probably the longest fic I’ve written and I’m not sure how I feel about it(I feel like I’m better at writing fluff pieces rather than spicy ones maybe?)but let me know what yall think! I’m working on another Price fic and a Soap fic so stay tuned! :)

A/N: As always likes, reblogs, comments, and feedback of all types are welcome and my inbox is always open! Hope you guys enjoy!!

***beware of typos lol

Your mind wandered as you zipped your suitcase shut. John announced you were taking a trip for your anniversary and refused to tell you where. "You'll find out when we get there love," he said with a laugh after you pestered him to tell you. You walked downstairs and set your suitcase by the front door.

Through no fault of his own John wasn't always around for your anniversary. He always tried his best to to have his leave coincide but it didn't always happen. Usually you just had a nice dinner at home or John would surprise you with flowers; both of which you enjoyed. Needless to say you were shocked but excited when John told you he had a few weeks leave and had something big planned.

"Hey hon, remember to pack your toothbrush this time," you said, doublechecking to make sure you had everything. "You forget it every time," you mused. "I'm not going to forget my toothbrush dove. And I don't forget it every time," Price argued; he checked his suitcase and realized he forgot. He went to the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush to pack it away without telling you.

"Are you ready love?" Price asked. "I want to get going," You noticed your boyfriend seemed to be acting weird. He was very fidgety and it wasn't like him at all.

"You okay?" You asked. "You seem anxious to get going,"

"Yeah I'm fine love I just want to get there before dark," Price replied, taking the luggage outside. He loaded the suitcases into the back of the car and slipped his hand in his pocket. His fingers brushed against the velvet box resting in his pocket. "Well if we want to get there before dark we should get going," you called out and shut the door behind you, locking up the house.

You noticed the scenery started to change from hilly landscapes to dense woods. You started to get excited about what was at the end of your little road trip. The car turned on to a cobblestone stone driveway that led to a beautiful cabin overlooking a private lake surrounded by trees. "Oh John this is beautiful!" You said, looking out the window. "How did you know about this?" You asked. "An old mate of mine offered to let us use it for the week," he smiled watching you try and take it all in.

"This whole place is for us?" You asked, wondering if you could possibly see everything in just a few days. Price squeezed your thigh. "Just us," he said, parking the car. "Here love," Price stated. He fished in his pocket pulling out a set of keys. "Here's the keys to the cabin. Why don't you go take a look around, while I unload the car" he suggested.

You smiled and took the keys from him walking up to the front steps. You unlocked the front door and stepped inside. The living room was decorated in a way you would expect a cabin to be decorated. A large sofa facing a tv mounted on the wall, a large red rug in the middle of the floor, an end table with a lamp beside the couch, a tv stand, large fireplace, and a chandelier made from antlers adorned the living room. There was also a full kitchen to your right when you walked in.

You made your way to the stairs and found the master bedroom. A king size bed was the centerpiece of the room with a wool blanket draped over the end. The curtains were drawn and a soft light emanated from a lamp sitting on a bedside table.

Your footsteps were hushed by the soft carpet as you walked to the bathroom. The master bathroom was beautifully decorated in finished wood and white accents with a big claw foot tub; definitely big enough for both you and John. A window that faced the lake and woods let in a nice breeze and you couldn't help smiling, the fact it was yours for a few days finally setting in.

You came down the stairs just as John set down the last of your luggage. "So? What do you think?" Price asked, smiling as you wrapped your arms around him. "It's perfect John!” you smiled. "It's so beautiful," you planted a kiss on his lips.

Over the next few days the ring Price carried around burned a hole in his pocket. He tried finding the right time to ask you but everytime he tried he got nervous. He was the Captain of the most elite special forces team in the world and he couldn't even ask you to marry him. He sat at the edge of the dock, his fishing pole in his hands. He looked at the water waiting for a fish to bite and thinking about how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. If only I could just ask her. With a frustrated sigh, he got up to stretch his legs still holding the fishing pole.

These few days seemed like a dream to you. Getting to spend this time with John was something you didn't always get to have. You noticed your boyfriend's behavior was somewhat off. He was anxious and fidgety when he's normally the calm and self-assured one in the relationship. You saw him sitting at the dock fishing and you smiled to yourself. His behavior may have changed but him fishing certainly hadn't.

You opened the front door and started walking down the cobblestone path the sweet air warming your skin. You saw little firefly's glowing in the garden flying around. "Have you caught anything yet?" You asked, siting down in a lawn chair with him standing holding his fishing pole. John glanced over and saw you wearing one of his army green t shirts and a pair of sleep shorts; he felt his heart skip a beat and his cock swell embarassingly hard despite the spirited romp in the sheets a mere few hours prior. For some strange reason, it made his thoughts drift back to the little box still tucked away in his pocket; he carried it with him everywhere since they got here. He still couldn’t believe he had trouble asking you a simple four-worded question. It was almost laughable that something so simple had the Captain racked with anxiety. The man who was feared just as much as he was respected in the field. What if you said no? What if you didn’t actually love him and this was the push you needed to leave him? He grimaced as his thoughts got more and more out of control.

“No I think I missed most of them,” he muttered and turned his attention back to the water. You furrowed your eyebrows; something was up with your boyfriend. Not much fazed the 6’2” Brit so to see him so lost in thought worried you. You got to your feet and wrapped your arms around your lover; your hands dipped underneath the shirt he was wearing and felt the dusting of wiry chest hair. You ran your fingers down the strong expanse of his chest and abdomen following the happy trail that disappears into his waistband. “What’s wrong hon?” You asked. “Nothing is wrong I’m fine love,” He grumbled. “You’ve been acting strange for the past few days and that isn’t like you,” You persisted. "I want to know what’s bothering you. You know you can tell me anything right?” You reassured him. John shifted his attention from the still water to you and tried to think of what to say.

“Do you…still love me?” He asked with uncertainty. “Would I have let you put me in those positions if I didn’t?” You teased, referencing the previous bedroom escapades. Seeing his face didn’t change, you realized he was serious. “Of course I do. Why would you think I don’t?” You asked. “Well…sometimes I can’t help but think you’ll wake up one day and come to your senses and leave me for someone who actually deserves you,” He sighed. It felt foreign to him to talk about his feelings but you made him feel safe enough that he could. You always brought out the best of him and it was one of the many reasons he wanted to marry you. “John Price, I am never going to leave you,” You told him, placing your hands on his muttonchops, framing his face. You hated it when he talked so badly about himself. “I love you so much and you deserve everything,” You said, gazing up at him. “Even if I am a grumpy old man?” He asked. “Yes even though you’re a grumpy old man,” you teased. “Hey! Easy now,” He said in mock annoyance. You placed your lips on his, capturing him in a heated kiss. You felt him kiss you back and the tension from his shoulders melted away. He groaned and pressed your bodies together, reaching down to grab a handful of your ass. He chuckled quietly when you whined as he pulled away. “In that case, there’s something I need to ask you,” He slipped his hand into his pocket while dropping down onto one knee. It’s now or never Price. He told himself. Your eyes went wide and filled with tears as you realized what was happening. “Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked, hoping, no silently begging, for you to say yes. “Yes! Yes I’ll marry you John Price,” you cried.

******

“FUCK!” You screamed. The headboard practically hit the wall with each harsh thrust from John. The room was filled with obscene yet erotic sound of panting and skin slapping against skin. “Fuck you’re taking me so well love,” John panted out, taking a glance down to where your cunt practically swallowed his cock. The sight drove him mad and he let out sounds he didn’t know he had in him. Those sounds he was making, the breathy groans and whimpers almost made you come then and there. “Fuck John!” You panted, feeling yourself get closer with every snap of John’s hips that hit perfectly inside you. John could feel you squeezing him like a vice and he knew you were close to coming. He grabbed the head board and pushed your legs to your chest to better plow into you and get as deep as he could into your pulsing cunt. “That’s it love,” He breathed out, his pace unrelenting. “Come for me love, come for me,”. John’s voice sounded strained as he focused on making you come before he did. You keened as you felt yourself go over the edge, coming on John’s cock. You squeezed him so tightly he swore he saw stars and came deep inside you, thick ropes of white staining the inside of your cunt. John rested his forehead against yours, strands of his hair sticking to the sweaty skin. You felt the sheer sheen of perspiration that had covered your own body begin to dry and cool off the longer the two of you stayed in each other’s embrace. "You okay love?” He asked, still out of breath as you both waited for your heart rates to slow. “More than okay,” you smiled lazily. Price gingerly pulled out his softened cock and walked to the bathroom, you admiring his bare ass as he walked away. John used a warm wash cloth to gently clean you up before grabbing a celebratory cigar and lighting it. You watched and admired his naked body as he poured himself a glass of scotch from the decanter sitting on the small table in the room before sliding back into bed with you.

You and John lay slightly tangled in the sheets with your head resting on his chest and his arm around you, relishing in that wonderful, hazy post sex daze. You couldn’t help but stare at the ring on your finger and smile; John was your fiancée and you could hardly believe it. “Careful now or I’ll think you love the ring more than me,” John’s deep baritone voice reverberating in his chest. “Well the ring is pretty great. And all I have is an old man,” you teased, looking up at him knowing he just proved himself to be anything but an old man. Your remark earned you a playful pinch on your ass. You squealed and laughed, swatting his chest playfully.

“Don’t worry Mr. Price I only have eyes for you my love,” You said, planting a kiss on his lips. "I love you,"

“I love you too soon-to-be Mrs. Price,”

[pullhisteeth]

in which Eddie's love languages are quality time and acts of service - and you're a commitmentphobe

something small that came to mind the other day (I definitely do not do the annoying thing of never doing the things I commit to, no, definitely not). it's a lil bit christmassy so sorry about that lol. college!au, gn!reader, etc etc. fluff. 1.4k.

-

so you do this thing which you are convinced pisses all your friends off, where you declare that you're going to do something - wash the dishes, finally fold your laundry, finish a book, braid your hair, go to the gym, bake something - and then never do it. it happens far too often and you are so sure it drives them mad, Nance and Robin surely rolling their eyes at one another when you once again flop down on the couch and resolve that today will be the day that you repot the plants in your dorm room.

and it does. they're your friends, but friends can be irritating despite how much we love them regardless, and it's maybe one of your bigger flaws.

they groan about it between themselves sometimes, the same way you do with Robin when Nancy ditches girls night to finish another piece for your college newspaper, or the way you do with Steve when you catch Robin in another conversation with the cute girl behind the counter at the campus café who she still hasn't asked out. every single time, she joins the two of you with that look on her face that says, not this time, folks, sorry.

they often brush off your declarations of intent, humming without paying much interest, and you know it, of course. you also know they're your friends, so it's their job to put up with this.

but then there's Eddie. Eddie is a new friend, as of the months before summer break, though his presence at nights out or evenings in with the whole gang is so concrete he may as well have been here the whole time.

Eddie is also incredibly pretty. he throws you off guard often with his throwaway compliments ("you look great tonight, sugar") and those hands he fails to keep to himself. they land on the small of your back sometimes when you're leaving the bar. other times his knee nudges yours when you're sat beside each other during movie night. and, worst of all, sometimes his fingers brush yours as you walk, and it takes everything in you not to grab hold and never let go.

one evening, you've come home from class and changed into pyjamas and you're padding sullenly through the apartment you share with Nancy and Robin. like clockwork, you throw yourself onto the empty couch and say: "tomorrow I'm gonna go on a long walk."

"right," you hear Robin mutter from where she's sat on the other couch, her eyes trained on the complicated looking crochet project in her lap. Nancy's out but Steve and Eddie are sat at your dinner table - they may as well live here, you sometimes think - working on assignments.

"I'll come with you," Eddie says.

it surprises you; normally the only acknowledgement of these whims you ever get are the uninterested noises from Robin or Nancy.

"you will?" you return, turning your head to look away from the ceiling and over at Eddie.

"sure," he says, still looking at the assignment on the table in front of him. he's holding his forehead, pinching it in concentration. he looks pretty in the ebbing sunlight, as usual.

"sweet," you mutter back.

and he does. he sticks to his word, turning up sometime mid-morning the next day with a thick coat on and two coffees in takeaway cups. you wander with him around the park near campus and try your hardest to keep your expectations low.

he's a friend. it's not a date.

the following week you're back on the couch, watching a rerun of Golden Girls, and you let your eyes wander around the room, paying little attention to the television. you stare up at the plants hanging from the top of the cabinet by the door, and the ones on the windowsill.

"I'm gonna do it," you say. "I'm gonna repot them."

"mm-hmm."

Nancy's at the dinner table, scribbling away on various pieces of paper. she gives you the usual hum of okay, sure, yeah without looking up at you.

"need a hand?" Eddie asks. he's on the other couch, halfway through a joint.

you turn over onto your side to look at him.

"yeah, okay. wanna go to the garden centre?"

"only if we can look at the fish."

"obviously."

this cycle continues. every few days, your dramatic commitment to a new thing will go unnoticed by your seasoned friends, but Eddie won't let whatever it is go. when you tell them you're going to go to the beach, for some fresh air, he offers to drive you there. when you declare that you're going to bake them some bread, and finally learn how to kneed, he brings you bread flour and promises he'll bake weed brownies with you one day. and when you decide that today is the day that you'll take your resumé to the cafe round the corner, he looks it over with you and walks you over. I could do with a coffee, he tells you.

you get the job, starting a week later. you're working 3 shifts a week between classes and sometimes closings shifts roll into the evenings, when you'd usually be doing nothing in your little living room with your friends. on these nights, when it's dark before you finish, Eddie is always stood beside the back door as you leave. the first time it happened he said he'd been on his way home from class and had spotted you cleaning up inside so thought he'd wait for you, but then it happened two days later, when you know he doesn't have any afternoon classes. and so after every late shift you emerge from the back door to find him smudging out a cigarette with his shoe, and he looks up at you and smiles, and you walk with him two blocks back to your apartment.

after a month or two, you're on another close. it's December and you're on your last shift before you hitch a ride back to Hawkins.

"he's out there again," your boss mutters as he comes in from emptying the trash.

"hmm?"

"your boyfriend. does he have to smoke out there?"

you feel yourself warm, the bloom of embarrassment and something more under your skin.

"he's not my boyfriend. I'll ask him to stop smoking, though."

"some friend you got then, walkin' you home every night."

you don't respond, bottom lip between your teeth to hide your smile. you speed through everything else on the list and grab your jacket and bag when your boss waves you off with a half-hearted happy holidays, and skip a little too quick out the fire door behind the kitchen.

sure enough, here he is, though tonight feels different. you quickly spot him smudging the cigarette out, but as your eyes drift back up they land on something colourful in his hand.

he looks up when he hears the door but he doesn't smile like usual; instead it's small, laced with apprehension. but it blossoms when you grin at him, so wide your eyes nearly close.

"good shift?" he asks.

"hm, it was okay. what've you got?"

you step closer and look down to see that it's a pretty bunch of flowers.

"uh, I... if I don't do this now, I owe Steve fifty bucks."

you look up at him, confused. "what?"

"wanna go get dinner?"

the bliss that swells inside your chest feels like enough to lift you off your feet. you grin again, and he smiles back.

"Eddie Munson, are you taking me on a date?"

he looks down at his feet, bashfully kicking the stub of his cigarette with one shoe.

"I mean, I thought the walks home and everythin' were obvious enough, but..."

you giggle at him, thinking about all the evenings he'd drop you home without more than a hug goodbye, leaving you kicking yourself for thinking this could be anything more than good friends.

"my fault," you say. "wanted to say something, but I'm not good at committing to stuff."

"nah," he says, looking up at you again. "you just needed a hand gettin' it done."

lifting the flowers, he holds them out for you to take. as you do, he takes your bag and, before you can protest, slings it over his own shoulder. they're pretty, deep reds and purples.

"these are beautiful, Eddie."

he smiles back at you and brings his hand to the small of your back, as always, as you leave.

walking down the street, past closed-up shops in the cold, your hands brush his as he gets closer and closer. you seize the opportunity, finally committing to something, and wind your fingers between his.

[starberry-cupcake]

After a weekend that exhausted me, I am finally able to come back to this book. My reacts proved useful to remind me where I left of, who would have thought.

previously, on harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

also, harrowberry is courtesy of @lady-harrowhark

after which I suggested the following album cover as a representation of her

currently, chapters 14-16:

"The Mithraeum, the seat of the First Reborn! The Sanctuary of the Emperor of the Nine Houses, the bolthole of God"

I don't want to sound like gideon

I really don't

but I have to be entirely honest here

I read that sentence twice, at separate times

and neither of those times did I read "bolthole"

MOVING ON

harrowberry is settled in a room which was made for a lyctor that never was

I don't know if this is at all important but it caught my eye

I wonder what happened there

and I am, as we have established, fixating on very particular things

the emperor johnny bravo has a room that's described as a locked tomb, but harrow says that, unlike the other locked tomb, she's not interested to see what's in this one

on the one hand, I want to know what this guy's actually doing but, on the other, I don't care about what's going on in his intimacy

harrow is also surprised that he gets embarrassed

which I don't, because he should be embarrassed and ashamed about all of the stuff that is going on in general

I don't know specifics and I don't know details, but I know he's at fault

like we say over here, I've got no evidence but I've got no doubt

he tells harrowbean about the BOE

he says they hate the nine houses and that they have agents who turn planets against them

they got themselves a leader about 25 years before harrow was born, who made things more difficult for johnny man

let's bring back the timeline I'm constantly discarding and bringing back

we've been told now that: this leader showed up 25 years before harrow was born, they disappeared nearly 20 years ago and gideon was born 18 years ago in space to a mom who was brain dead upon arriving at ninth

there's also the whole eggs thing that idk if it has something to do with this or not but we're not totally throwing anything away here

we've moved from a cork board to a 3d model at this point

emperor johnny boo is blaming these people for not!dulcinea going ballistic

idk johnny man, you kind of fucked that up on your own I think, but go off, I guess

he also says that the BOE folks hate necromancers and necromancy

I don't wanna be making assumptions with little to no info (literally all I've been doing) but all I've seen so far is these people teaching harrow to kill planets

that's not what miss frizzle told me I should be doing when she wore the most iconic looks in television history

maybe if the emperor dressed like this I'd be trusting him more

emperor johnny also clocked harrow being a ninth kid smoothie

because harrow was doing theorems in the river and only one other person ever did that before

the person who founded the sixth

we're ok with the sixth because camilla came from there

when harrow starts telling him the smoothie story, the emperor says "This was...all so different...before we discovered the scientific principles" and proceeds to tell her that her parents basically did a mini resurrection

he says "I have committed the same act, and I know the price I had to pay" and calls her "a walking miracle"

to which harrow responds "I have just told you that I am the product of my parents' genocide"

emperor, my man

he says "nobody has to know" about the kid smoothie

there sure are a lot of things people aren't supposed to know or ask about over here in the emperor's bolthole

*me, high fiving gideon's force ghost*

he says the initials of BOE mean "blood of eden" and that Eden is "someone they left to die"

then he quotes shakespeare??? I think king lear???

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child”, that quote

I'm not super knowledgeable when it comes to shakespeare tbh but...ominous

he also says "once you turn your back on something, you have no more right to act as though you own it"

and harrow thinks "at the time, that had made perfect sense to you"

that's pinned under the "hope for later" category

NEXT CHAPTER

harrow talks to ice cube barbie in her dreams

ice cube barbie says she's died twice

THEN, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

harrow asks her if she has ortus's eyes or if her eyes are hers and what her eyes are like

and ice cube barbie says "she asked me not to tell you"

this is me, adding another thing to the "hopeful hints for gideon" shrine I am building

chapter 16

harrow asks yandere twin about her diary and she says it has been burned on her own orders

more hints for my theory of past!harrow knowing a lot and planning ahead

harrowcita calls lyctortus (name suggested by the reply gang, thank you reply gang) "the other one"

which could be "other" as in "other lyctor" or as in "other ortus", so it's fine either way

harrow is worried about not!dulcinea still being a threat

AREN'T WE ALL

AREN'T WE ALL

I SURE AM, ALWAYS

she should have been flushed into space

harrow thinks not!dulcinea is moving and yandere twin calls her "crazycakes"

then we start going a bit more in depth about augustine

I have come to understand that he isn't called "saint of patience" because he's patient

he's called "saint of patience" because that's what you have to practice when you're around him

good god, this man

he has the charisma of the fifth but the disagreeable nature of the eighth

here I am, making judgment on these people I only know like 2 representatives of, but anyway

he's like if magnus hadn't discovered a passion for baking and had instead decided his hobby was to be passive aggressive and thinking too highly of himself

his cav was his brother, apparently

harrow thinks he's hollow inside

he is absolutely horrendous to mercygirl

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY

he also alludes to not!dulcinea moving and thinks mercygirl is doing it

I don't know about this, you guys

two mulders in one recap is what you get when I have been forced to not read for a couple days

I think fox mulder represents my energy in these recaps

Augustine The Unpleasant mentions that johnny j has "spent the last 10 thousand years on a perpetual search-and-destroy mission out of, as far as I can tell, purely symbolic retribution"

great, that sounds fantastic for god to do

and that "I wouldn't set myself up as his replacement A.L. He doesn't need another bodyguard, and even she was significantly more lucid than you are" (you being mercygirl)

I had mentioned the possibility of ice cube barbie being this AL person, we still don't know, but this AL is "she"

let's put that in the 3D model

augustine calls chad a "nice boy", which tracks for him being a Senior Chad

he treats harrow badly, which we absolutely don't stan over here in the harrow respect corner

harrow obliterates him with a comeback and he calls her Anastasia (You were born in a palace by the sea / A palace by the sea? Could it be?) like the previous ninth

these people love comparing their old pals to everyone they meet, even if they supposedly didn't get along much

harrow also makes fun of yandere twin for being what gideon would call "a weenie" over augustine

then we get the augustine and johnny explanation of how to kill the beast

I am all for information but this whole thing gives me the worst vibes

basically he says the beasts (disrespectful name) eat planets like oysters and then keep the thanergy as armor

the beast can inhabit anything it's thanergetically connected to it via their death

like that which they kill

they travel as river projections

they have agents, which he describes like the borg in star trek

individual forms connected to its hive

the whole lyctor thing, having a necromancer's ability with a cav's training to take over the body, seems to be a key to fighting these things

because the necro part goes down into the river to do the thing and the cav can take over the defense of the body

this, I think, could be what we saw harrow doing in the prologue, the projection thing

but harrow's body isn't protected, because she's "lyctor lite"

because there's hope for gideon or so help me john

which might be why yandere twin was telling her she would not be guarded if she did what she was about to do

I am very intrigued as to what harrow will come to know to push her to do what she did

also, she got stabbed, so I'd like to know if she's fine

but we have 0 guarantees of anything over here in the mithrandir or whatever

the emperor's bolthole

god, what has gideon done to me

they say the point of the combat is to throw the beast's soul into the abyss and hope it doesn't come back

that's what I've been trying to do with not!dulcinea all this time

ALSO still no camilla

see you next time and thank you for not hating the length of these things ♥

[fangirleaconmigo]

I've been going through some of your posts about Geralt and Dandelion's friendship in the books recently because... well I'm back in my book/game phase I guess and I really wanted to know if there are any other Dandelion friendships you like from the books and why? Like him and Zoltan or with the other Hansa etc? [Personally I'm a big fan of what little we see of him with Regis and it always makes me weepy that he wrote a biography about him in the games and fondly remarks abt him smelling like herbs all the time]

Awww yayy thanks for spending some time on the ol blog. I absolutely love this question. I don't get to talk enough about Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, and his relationship with Dandelion (for the newbies, that is Jaskier's name in the books) is so lovely.

Dandelion and Friendships

For those who are just joining us, Tea is talking about my series about Geralt and Dandelion's friendship in the books.

I have also written posts about Dandelion's friendships with Ciri and Zoltan:

Dandelion and Ciri

Dandelion and Zoltan

And for this post, I'll focus on Regis and Dandelion's friendship, which I absolutely love.

Dandelion and Regis Friendship (books)

What really strikes me about Regis and Dandelion, is just how patient and kind Regis is with Dandelion. Sometimes it is almost like he’s dealing with a child he cares about. Considering Regis’s age (over four centuries old), Dandelion (approx in his thirties when they meet) IS a child. 

On top of that, Dandy’s personality is rife with traits often associated with kids:

insatiable curiosity to the point where he endangers his own life, (when they go into the forest or sea, Geralt has to essentially, follow right behind him like you would a toddler),

hyper enthusiasm about every discovery he makes, (he whispers in awe when he sees mandrake for the first time, that’s just how he reacts to everything new)

his inability to censor himself or stop asking questions even when everyone else wants him to shut up (he will ask until he understands, no matter the social cues happening)

the way he will act incredibly transparent and awkward while thinking he is being subtle and smooth

Perhaps that is why Regis seems to be so indulgent of him. And somehow their personalities just fit naturally.

Regis’s most annoying trait is to lecture people at length like a professor and cut people off who are asking a question, since he is too eager to answer it. The vampire loves to hold forth on a topic.

Dandelion’s annoying trait (one of many, bless, we know he can't keep it in his pants either) is to ask questions incessantly. In that way, they really kind of fit together. 

Geralt loses patience when Dandelion is being socially inappropriate by asking too many questions. Geralt really values discretion and manners.

Regis is more willing to spend time explaining things and to open up.

Early in the hansa's time together, (before he manages to surprise folks several times over) Dandelion is often seen as the one who is in way over his head. Everyone else is a warrior or a soldier. Dandelion is the soft one. To add to the indignity, Geralt is angry at him during Baptism of Fire because Dandelion keeps forcing him to make friends (well, to ask for help)

Yet Regis, the new guy, is the one who always makes sure Dandelion isn't embarrassed or ashamed.

Here’s a few examples.

When Dandelion is given a bloody head wound by an arrow, the poet is howling and shrieking. He thinks he's dead already. He is not a stoic man. It is played comedically, but Geralt is also legitimately terrified that he will lose Dandelion. That bit is not played comedically.

But given the circumstances, the rest of them could be forgiven for rolling their eyes at the poet's dramatics.

But Regis (who is treating his wounds as the resident barber surgeon) does not.

Regis speaks to him so soothingly, and kindly. (I am omitting the Geralt dramz because I will get off topic lol)

Dandelion groaned and took a sharp intake of breath....

“I’ll put in a few stitches,” Regis said...”Be brave, Dandelion.”

Dandelion was brave.

“Almost done here,” Regis said, setting about bandaging the victim’s head. “Don’t you worry, Dandelion, you’ll be right as rain. The wound’s just right for a poet, Dandelion. You’ll look like a war hero, with a proud bandage around you head, and the hearts of the maidens looking at you will melt like wax. Yes, a truly poetic wound....”

And when it is revealed that Regis is a vampire, and Dandelion is afraid of him, Regis is incredibly patient and kind about the whole thing. He does not take offense. Geralt does! (Ironic, considering Geralt ran Regis off, but Geralt, bless, is dealing with a clusterfuck of feelings about the vampire and everything else going on in his life.)

But yes, after Geralt tells Dandelion about Regis, Dandelion is scared, and wants to seek reassurance. But the poet (unbeknownst to him it seems) is awkward and bad at it. He tries to bring up the issue with the subtlety of a sledge hammer.

Dandelion...deciding to clear up the uncertainty..began as soon as they set off. With his usual tact.

(I like that. His usual tact. Meaning, zero tact lmaoooooo.)

“Milva,” he suddenly called as they were riding, sneaking a glance at the vampire as they were riding, sneaking a glance at the vampire. “...I fancy eating a hunk of real meat for a change! How about you, Regis?”

Yeah. Real subtle Dandelion.

“I beg your pardon?’ the vampire said, lifting his head from the horse’s neck. 

“Meat!” the poet repeated emphatically. “...fancy some fresh meat?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And blood. Would you like some fresh blood?”

“Blood?” Regis asked, swallowing. “No. I’ll decline the blood. But if you have a taste for some, feel free.”

Geralt, Milva and Cahir observed an awkward, sepulchral silence.

I love that. Awkward sepulchral silence. Dandelion causes a lot of those. But Regis does not dismiss him or laugh. He reassures him.

“I know what this is about, Dandelion,” Regis said slowly, “And let me reassure you. I’m a vampire, but I don’t drink blood.”

The silence became as heavy as lead. But Dandelion wouldn’t have been Dandelion if he had remained silent.

But Dandelion wouldn’t have been Dandelion if he had remained silent. (sorry I am laughing every other line at this part)

“You must have misunderstood me,” he said, seemingly lightheartedly. “I didn’t mean-”

“I don’t drink blood,” Regis interrupted. “...I gave it up.”

Dandelion doesn’t know what that means and keeps pestering Regis to explain. Geralt is embarrassed and tells Dandy to shut up.

However, Regis opens up around the camp fire that night. He tells his life story, and says he hasn’t drank blood in fifty years. Dandelion is incredulous. 

“Not at all?” Dandelion said, and stuttered. But his curiosity got the best of him. “Not at all? Never? But...?”

Geralt is embarrassed again and shuts him down again. Regis, by contrast, is patient and defends Dandelion.

“I beg your pardon,” the poet grunted.

“Don’t apologize,” the vampire said placatingly, “And Geralt, don’t chasten him. I understand his curiosity.”

Baptism of Fire 291-295

That's right. Don't chasten him Geralt.

Regis and Dandelion also just have a wonderful dynamic of picking on each other.

Dandelion teases Regis about his long ass name.

And Regis has a great time teasing Dandelion lovingly. In one scene, Geralt and Regis team up to pick on Dandelion and the secretive way he treats his writing. Dandelion has stolen some paper and pencil from a Lyrian military convoy and is writing whenever they make camp, but gets testy whenever anyone gets near him or looks at his manuscript.

Geralt is good-naturedly giving Dandelion a hard time and Regis jumps in with such adorable relish. (Also, in this scene, we find out that Regis actually named Dandelion's memoirs)

"Indeed," the witcher joined in...."You've become devilishly touchy, Dandelion. One cannot fail to notice that it is somehow connected to the paper which you have recently begun to deface with a bit of lead while we camp." “It’s true,” Regis agreed, “our minstrel has become touchy, not to say secretive, discreet, and loving of solitude recently. Oh no, having witnesses when performing his natural needs doesn't bother him at all...His shameful secrecy and oversensitivity to being watched extends solely to his scribbled notes. Is, perhaps, a poem being written in our presence? A rhapsody? And epic? A romance? A canzone?”

He's like, you don't care who sees you piss and shit, but oh this you care about. lol. Tell us about the poem. But Geralt objects.

“No,” Geralt retorted...”I know him. It can’t be verse, because he’s not cursing, mumbling, or counting the syllables on his fingers. He’s writing in silence, so it must be prose.”

“Prose!” The vampire flashed his pointed fangs - which he really tried not to do. “A novel perhaps? Or an essay? A morality play? Dammit, Dandelion! Don’t torture us so! Reveal what you are writing?”

Dandelion says it is a memoir called Fifty Years of Poetry. Regis says that A Half Century of Poetry sounds better.

“Thanks, Regis, Something constructive at last.”

P 88 -90 The Tower of the Swallow

I admit I'm such a sucker (hehe no pun intended) for whenever Regis's fangs are mentioned, whether he is hiding them, baring them, or unselfconsciously showing them during a warm, silly moment with his friends. (Sobs, I love this vampire, seriously I need an intervention)

Regis also comforts Dandelion openly when the poet is doubting his courage or fitness for a task.

Later in the book, Geralt volunteers for a bloody job/violence for hire that terrifies Dandelion, so the poet protests the plan. Geralt insists he’ll do it alone.

But no! He has a hansa now! He won't be alone! Angoulême volunteers to go. Cahir says he’s coming with as well. Then Milva insists she is coming.

Dandelion freezes.

It would be like the LOTR ‘and my bow and my axe’ yadda yadda scene, but if there was one person left and when it got to them, everyone turned around and looked and they are just standing there frozen like....motherfuck this is scary idk idk wtf do I do. And the way this next paragraph is written, it pleases me.

Dandelion...was evidently struggling with his thoughts. And the thoughts were winning.

lmaooo

And Regis jumps in "kindly." He shows solidarity with Dandelion, and takes the heat by calling himself a coward.

“Stop meditating, poet,” Regis said kindly. For there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re even less cut out to participate in a bloody swordfight than I am. We weren’t taught to carve up our neighbors with a blade. Furthermore...furthermore..,” he raised shining eyes towards Geralt and Milva, “I’m...a coward,” he confessed curtly.

They keep arguing amongst themselves because Geralt believes they have been spied on. And Regis is just...always soft with Dandelion. When Dandelion starts guessing about who is spying on them, and is beginning to ramble incorrectly,

“You’re mistaken, Dandelion,” Regis softly interjected.

The Tower of the Swallow p 182

It's Regis's gentleness that just fuckn kills me. That's always the character that's gonna get me right between the ribs with a shank. (Metaphorically, Regis is too gentle for that)the one that lives in a horror filled, violent, cruel world and is still just kind, even to the loud, awkward, soft, obnoxious poet who is in over his head and is afraid you'll bite him in his sleep and who shrieks when he is wounded.

Geralt and Dandelion are so sassy and old/married with each other, deeply, proudly loving in actions, but always bickering.

It's sweet to see Dandelion have a friendship like the one he has with Regis.

It is so nice to hear that the games continued his love of Regis. (I haven't played them, so I get my info about them from you guys XD)

So thanks again for following me and for the ask! I hope I've done ok answering. I also love Dandy's dynamic with Nenneke and ofc Yen, but I'll stop there.

Hope your week goes really well. x

[shygirl4991]

Chapter 2 Artistic Ringmaster

Art done by @alianarepasa do not repost Summary:  After the event of Splits into Three everything felt like things were back to normal, that is until Three’s boyfriend kicks down his front door announcing he has fallen under the same spell he did. Together they will learn the secret of the cherry potion and with SMG4 splits put an end to the evil gang's plan.  Sequel to Split into Threes Last Chapter Next Chapter

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Comedy, Romance, action and adventure

SMG4 sits there wide eyed at the story, Producer nods taking notes trying his best to take all the information in. Four gets up looking at his boyfriends face, now that he was told the story he started to see the difference in Three’s appearance. He gently touches Three’s face “You do look softer with a bit of sharpness…so the reason you really were pink was because I was talking to your heart. Heh explains why you seemed so open, I was literally talking to your emotions haha!” 

Four starts to do a panic laugh, Producer gets up and holds on to Fours arm “It’s okay original, i know…it's scary since if we mess up we lose everything but T-three did it so maybe we can to?” Four turns looking at his personality studying his appearance. This is what he acts like when those thoughts take over, the sleepless night and panic that his next video won't be perfect. The thought causes an image to flash in his mind.

“IT’S GOTTA BE PERFECT!”

He stands up straight holding his breath while Producer holds his head “Ah OH GOD!” Three panics running over to the personality to make sure he was okay.  He talks gently to the personality helping him relax before turning to his main boyfriend “Hey uh..everything okay you both just freaked the hell out.” Four opens his mouth to answer only to be interrupted  by a cheering crowd, they all turn confused as the crowd gets louder. Then they hear a voice “WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE MAIN EVENT I RINGMASTER 4 SHALL BRING YOU A SHOW YOU WONT FORGET!”

Three and Four exchange a look before running out of the castle, where they saw a huge stage was set up in the middle of the showgrounds. On the stage was a red SMG4 dress like a showman, he smirks at the crowd as he tips his top hat and twirls his cane “Remember folks like what you see then like, comment and subscribe to my amazing channel!”  He hits a button making the cannons on the stage shoot out youtube pillows with the channel link on them. Three catches one and stares at the pillow, his face going blank “I see..you have a showman personality, why am i not surprised.” Four blushes as he watches the personality doing tricks. It was impressive how resourceful this personality was, any mistake he made he just twirled his cane and went with the flow of it making it into a joke.  SMG4 walks closer to the stage, red eyes looking right at him “Ah a shame i must end the show folks, it seems the main character of the story is here and needs me!” the crowd boos and starts leaving the showground, he jumps off the stage with a flourish “Ah Chang Noi! Happy to see you will be with us on this journey. I see producer is here,” Producer does a small wave as he anxiously messes with a page of his notepad. 

Ringmaster smiles at them as Three stands there confused as to what the personality called him, Four lets out an awkward smile offering his hand “um nice to meet you?” the showman chuckles as he shakes SMG4 hand “Pleasure i'm Ringmaster your Imaginative side!” Producer scoffs “More like a walking Ego.” The comment surprises Three as he turns to see the personality pouting as Ringmaster glares at him, Four notices looking at the two worried “um is everything alright with you two?” Ringmaster walks up to Producer and lightly smacks his back “We are fine! Producer isn't wrong…I may be labeled as egocentric but that isn't all I am!”  SMG3 nods hearing the annoyed tone dripping from Ringmaster. Seems something Four hates more than anything is someone pointing out his ego, shame they weren’t rivals this would have been a gold mine of information. SMG4 lets out an awkward chuckle “I mean I may have had one when I was younger but there is no way I have a huge ego now right?” he turns to his boyfriend who was standing next to  Producer. They both blink at him before they exchange a look, Three gives a small smile “You uh have gotten better…you know till you decide to be an asshole about things,” Four’s eyes go wide. Then he and Ringmaster both put their hands on their hips and in sync yell “When the hell were we assholes?!” Four blushes as Three points to his cafe “My opening?”

Four bites his lip as Ringmaster chuckles “Please we explained to you, it’s what we do, we tease and fight only now is it wrong to do since you became our corazón!” Three facepalms feeling a headache grow as he talks to the red personality. He just wished something would happen to get everyone on track to the mission of finding all the splits, they were so close just one more and they could try to figure out what's wrong with Four. SMG4 stared at the cafe frowning as he remembered how he took things too far, could it be he has been blind to the way he treats others. He could feel eyes on him, turning, Producer was looking at him, eyes glowing. He could feel a flutter of anxiety grow in him ‘what if i'm not good enough for SMG3’  with that thought he turned away fast only to catch the sight of purple running around the cafe. 

Producer noticed SMG4  looking at something and followed his line of sight to catch a glimpse of someone , slowly he started to walk over to the spot. Seeing this Four walks after him leaving Ringmaster and Three to fight, they get closer and get hit with a strong smell of paint. That's when he saw himself in purple, he had his tongue out and was covered in paint. Looking closer he had a sweater tied around his waist and like ringmaster the hat was different it was beret. He was humming as he moved the brush on the wall of Three’s cafe, he wasn't sure what to say given how lost in his world the personality seemed. Three noticing the pair left he walked over “WHAT THE HELL WHO IS PAI-,” he freezes as the artistic personality turns looking into Three’s eyes.

His eyes flicked violet as he stared at the man in front of him, looking around and noticing what was going on he laughed “OH! You found me haha sorry about that. I was feeling a bit sketchy today haha get it?!” he winked at the crew making Three’s face go red. The purple personality fixes his hat “Well hello everyone im Artist! Without me SMG4 wouldn't be so creative and funny, ah speaking off your cafe needed a little something Mcdreamy so i painted dead memes on your walls to celebrate you!” 

Three looked at the mural and gasp “Terrance…you painted Terrance and the others on the wall..” his eyes watered. Four smiles softly wrapping his arm around his boyfriend for comfort “Thanks Artist.” He nods, pleased to see that he managed to make their partner smile, Ringmaster looks at the art and scoffs “You really think this can bring attention?” Artist glares at him “Remember your place red, you think you can do half of what you do without my humor?” Producer was panicking and grabbed onto SMG3 for comfort. SMG4 lets out a chuckle “So this is what you went through with your three huh?”

SMG3 frowns watching the fight, his splits never acted like this. They all acted like siblings since they all seemed to get along, that's when he remembered something Book told him, making him wrap his arms around Four and Producer. He sighs “Hey scrub…are you doing okay?” his boyfriend gave him a confused look, Three looked at Ringmaster and Artist fighting about making content stressing out Producer “Four, these guys are you. Looking at the three of them they can't stand each other, it's okay if you need to talk to someone about what's going on in your head but you can't brush aside that none of your personalities like each other!” 

Four shakes his head “I’m fine three, now we have to all get along and this will be done shouldn't be hard!”

Ringmaster smacks Artist with his cane making the purple personality growl “All right you egomaniac, you may think the world is all about you but SMG4 needs us!” Ringmaster chuckles “Cute you call our Original by his name, must be nice to be liked.” Three was hearing the conversation and it clicked, he accepted Spade and Book easy that is until heart came into the picture. He almost killed his emotions, Four seems to be having a hard time accepting these parts of him. Letting out a sigh he lets go of four and turns to producer “Hey PD i need to know something, is something holding you three back?”  

Producer looks down “I…he..” seeing the personality was going to break down he takes a step back and comforts him “Whoa okay its fine PD was just making sure.”  Four eye twitches hearing the fighting, taking a deep breath he walks towards Ringmaster “Look I do understand you're a part of me, it's just hard to process everything. Let's just relax and figure this all out.” He gives them a sheepish smile then shows a meme on his phone hoping to stop the pair from fighting. The pair exchange looks and sigh after watching the video, Four wasn't sure what the reaction meant but was pleased to see the fighting had stopped. 

Three gentle touches the pins on his overalls thinking, this wasn't going to be a one day thing. There was something his boyfriend isn't telling him, whatever it is seems to be making it hard for his personality to connect. He stands there thinking about what the missing link could be until he hears a shout from the Personality holding him “M-my notes! Oh no, without them we cant do the video and no video is going to disappoint all our viewers!” Looking up he sees the page has been blown away and landed on the roof of his cafe.

He gives a pat on Producer's head “It’s fine i can go get it, just sit here and don't…uh pass out okay?” while Four attempted to get Ringmaster and Artist to get along Three started to climb the ladder to get the page. Producer looks up nervously catching the Artistic personality attention he turns and looks wide eyed at Three “Uh hey Three the ladder isn't really stable i broke it when i was messing with paint!” Four looked up in panic “THREE!” Not hearing the group due to the winds Three grabs the page and smiles at them waving it, the wind picks up knocking SMG3 hat off and making him lose his grip as the ladder bar snaps. He closes his eyes as he feels himself fall “I SHALL SAVE YOU MY FAIR MAIDEN!” with that yell he felt warm arms catching him. He opens his eyes only to scream “THERE'S MORE THEN THREE!?” 

[spacecoffeeandcartoons]

I am a (truly independent, not part of a network) audio drama creator, and what's striking me about all this is seeing the huge difference in responses I'm seeing on Twitter (from my fellow audio drama creators of all stripes) versus here on Tumblr (from audio drama fans who are largely not creators).

On Twitter, the general vibe from other creators is "I believe a lot of these stories about working with Rusty Quill. I've heard similar through the grapevine."

On Tumblr, people are acting like the author of the article is a rival CEO or something? Or that this is Fable and Folly attacking RQ.

Folks, neither of these is remotely true. Fable and Folly has absolutely nothing to do with this. This is Newt writing as Newt, and the power imbalance here between Rusty Quill's huge influence and Newt being one freelancer is VAST.

Audio drama is barely even an industry. I wish it were bigger, I wish it had some money in it, but the fact is, it doesn't. It hardly even has any journalism, and certainly no major platforms for journalism -- that's why this article is on Medium. There's no audience for audio drama journalism. Please, understand the state of the "industry". This is why RQ is such a giant -- no one else compares to them. Other audio drama creators have to beg for scraps while crowdfunding -- Magnus 2 gets £600,000. That is an insane amount of money for audio drama. I know some folks who have a spreadsheet of every audio drama crowdfunding campaign for the last several years, and *Magnus 2 has raised as much as all the rest of them put together*. And that includes crowdfunding by the Wolf 359 creators!That is RQ's influence here.

(Incidentally, there are lots of other great shows crowdfunding just now who are fighting to raise, like, 1% of what Magnus 2 is getting. You can find them here if you want to help! These are excellent, well-made, gripping shows. Give them a shot! https://twitter.com/podfunds)

I have no affiliation with RQ, but I am in a lot of audio drama creator spaces, and all I can say is what is said in the article does not surprise me. If you go look at audio drama creator reactions on Twitter, you'll see most of us are not surprised. We just are a tiny, tiny industry w/o a good platform to raise this issue on.

[jaskierx]

bestie please explain what's going on in the witcher fandom because holy shit??! 👀👀

bestie what ISN’T going on in the witcher fandom. (i’m so sorry this got so long and boring i just started typing and did not stop apparently)

once upon a time in september 2018 henry cavill is cast as geralt of rivia in netflix’s adaptation of the witcher. people are generally surprised but pleased, reddit collectively nuts, mainly bc he's a self-professed 'nerd' and has talked about enjoying the witcher games and books previously

season 1 comes out and is generally well received, most of the negativity was just plain old racism and misogyny with people whinging that casting women and people of colour is 'netflix wokery' and 'inaccurate' because the setting is meant to be based on slavic countries. so according to some folks, henry cavill, as a straight white man who did not completely fuck up his role in s1, is basically the second coming of christ

season 2 comes out and is...not generally well received. by many people for many diverse reasons that i am not going into bc we will be here all day. but basically it becomes quite clear from s2 that the show is not an adaptation of the books, it’s more loosely based on the books. anyway the reddit bros start acting as if henry cavill is the show’s one saving grace and that he’s carrying a shitty show along on his back and that without him things would be even worse because there’d be nobody to overrule the showrunner on stuff like this

this intensifies in late october this year when stuff starts going around about the show writers mocking the books

anyway then henry cavill announces that he is leaving the witcher after s3 (filming had already wrapped at this point) and moving on to pastures new. he also announces that liam hemsworth will be playing geralt from s4. memeworthy stuff, the gift of prophecy strikes again. people tend to fall into one of two vibe camps in response: 1. ‘fucking lol’ 2. ‘i wish i was dead’

rumours swirl and the two main schools of thought about why he left are 1. because he was offered £££££££££ to play superman and 2. because he loves the source material so much he couldn’t bear to continue working on the show. these closely align with the two aforementioned vibe camps.

someone made this very reasonable post and i was grateful for it

THEN today a really objectively funny thing happened in that after all that, james gunn has turned around and said ‘actually the superman movie we’re doing is about a younger superman so none for henry cavill bye’

which is just like. icing on the cake of drama and dials everything up to 11 with the ‘i would kill and die for henry cavill’ gang taking this as proof that there were major creative differences between him and the showrunners (?) and the ‘fucking lol’ gang basically eating popcorn

and on that note i’m just leaving this post and this post here without comment

so yeah that’s that on that sorry for the novel <3

[alpaca-clouds]

What is a Templar? (Or: The Knightly Orders of the Crusades)

(Well, only kinda. But let me explain.)

Something that has surprised me ever since I have entered the Castlevania fandom is the fact, that people do not know what the heraldry of the Knights Templar is. People know they existed, but even with them showing up in a lot of English language media (especially treasure hunting adventure stuff), a lot of folks apparently do not know that in general a red cross on white ground means Knights Templar. Maybe this is to be expected, though, because in the end of course those adventuring media does not really go into the Templars outside of the mythology and conspiracy stuff that folks later on associated with them.

So, let me talk about the Knightly Orders of the Crusades.

First on, I talked about the crusades earlier today. But a quick rundown once more: Muslims were in control of Jerusalem. But while they happily allowed Christian pilgrims to visit the city, political reasons made folks in Europe try to take Jerusalem, which created a very, very chaotic first crusade.

One of the reasons why it was so chaotic, was that there were basically three kinds of folks participating: Pilgrims, just normal folks riled up, and knights. Now, it should be kept in mind: There were few people at the time who were educated in battle. Because most kings did not have a standing military. And because those people participating in the crusades being a bunch of chaotic folks who did not know what they were doing, things... went so chaotic.

So, in came the Knights Templar. So, let me explain the five Christian Knight Orders.

Okay, let me quickly explain the picture above.

We have the Sepulchers (founded in 1099). What we have here as the "Malte", are the Knights Hospitaller of the Order of St. John (founded in 1099). Then we have the Knights Templar (founded in 1119). Then the Order of Santiago (founded in 1170). And finally the Order of Teutonic Knights (founded in 1190).

It should be noted that there were some other Knight Orders associated with the Crusades, but those five are usually considered the most influencial.

But, okay, let me step back. Why were those orders founded?

Mostly to protect the crusades and the pilgrimages that followed. They provided a plethora of services to the pilgrims and crusaders, which might include fighting - but did not necessarily do so.

Let me start with the Knights Templar. Not because they were the first one or the most important one, but because they are just the ones most well known. People have all sorts of ideas, what they did. But mostly they acted as two things: Bodyguards and bankers. They arose from the monk Order of Christ. The idea was basically as following: Both those rampaging bands of crusaders and the pilgrims took a lot of risks to get to the Holy Land. Because this was the middle ages, and there were wars and bandits and all other things on the way. So, when you went to visit the Holy Land, you might actually not want to carry your valuables on you. Because they might get stolen (and you might get killed for them). So the Templars basically invented modern banking. You gave your money to the Templars where you started your journey, they gave you a ledger, on your way you could visit other Templar Monasteries and get your money from the ledger. Against a fee, of course. And if you died, the Templars kept the money. Which was part of the reason they became so rich. Now, did the Templars also pillage? Yes. Did they participate in crusading battles? Yes. But it was not their main goal. This was also the reason, why they had to get very creative when it came to making their money, after the main crusades had ended. It is also why they officially disbanded in the 14th century. Though I say officially for a reason, as the Knights Templar just merged back into with the Order of Christ, and it took a long while, until there was nobody around wearing the colors and heraldry of the Knights Templar. So, while technically disbanded, they did in fact participate in colonialism for a while. (And yes, this did include slavery. Both of white slaves from Eastern Europe, as well as later on non-white slaves from Arabia and Africa. Mostly because they had strong ties to Portugal, who were a leading force in early slavery.)

After this, let's go through the orders by years of founding.

The Knights of the Holy Sepulchre have a simple, yet complicated history. They are tied to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, where there was a monk order living. Now, in the early 11th century, there were religious conflicts within Jerusalem, that ended with the original church being destroyed. Just a bit later the Calif allowed it to be rebuild. But... then the crusades happened and religious fevor and when Jerusalem was taken, they decided they should defend some of their holy sides. As during the crusading battles some monks were knighted, they turned this... into a thing. These Knights first existed to defend the holy sides, then Jerusalem. They later participated in some of the battles. I should note, too, that a variation of them is still around today.

I talked about the Knights Hospitaller before, so I make this quick: They existed mainly to offer hospitality and medical services to crusaders and pilgrims. Like all of the knights they would, however, still participate in some battles.

Now, the Order of Santiago is a bit of an odd one out. Because they were not founded for the crusades but rather to fight the Muslims on a different front. As their name suggests: They tie back to Spain. And as I have talked about several times before, a good chunk of the Iberian peninsula at the time was in fact under Muslim rule. And yes, this order of church ordained knights originally fought the Muslims here. But they also quickly became drawn into the crusades. Other than protecting pilgrims, they also were ordained to provide any of the religious services pilgrims might need. (And yet, they were the odd one out between the Orders, because their vows were different. But about that in a bit.)

The Order of the Teutonic Knights was also a bit of a weird one. They started out as a religious fraternity, then did a bit of crusading, founded their knightly order in Jerusalem and then... preceded to Christianize the Balcans. As the name suggests, they were German in origin. And other than the other four orders, they actually had a big focus on fighting during the crusades (and later the "misionary work" in Eastern Europe).

Something to understand about the Orders is, that they were not knights, who lived a monestary lifestyle, but rather monks, who were knighted. As such many of these knights would actually start out early as monks (again, back in those days teenagers and at times kids would already enter the monastery life for all sorts of different reasons), make their vows and then train in fighting to take up the mantle of the knight.

But as parts of those religious orders, they usually gave the three main monastic vows: A Vow of Poverty, a Vow of Chastity, and a Vow of Obedience. The one exception was the Order of Santiago, who did not give a vow of chastity and were in fact allowed to marry and have family.

And... I think that is it for now. This one turned out pretty darn long.

If you wanna know anything about the other knightly orders, just write a comment or let me know otherwise. I will... do a write down if there is any interest.

[rabbitholessk]

land soup (or ten year old Jurdan being kids in faerie before everything)

Jude stomps away from Madoc’s stronghold. Her and Taryn just squabbled ferociously and she needs to be as far from Taryn as possible. Taryn wore on her last nerve, especially after dealing with the cries of the new adoptive baby Madoc took in, along with a bride. Jude was due some much needed alone time and quiet.

The luster and frightening feel of Faerie has worn off ever so slightly after the three years her, Taryn, and Vivi have now lived here. 

Ten years old, angry with her sister, and with one of her fingers healing where the tip had been bitten off a few odd weeks ago;  Jude feels for the first time in a long time, like she is out of place. If she was in the mortal realm, she would have probably taken her bike and rode off somewhere to blow off steam. But alas, her bike is more than likely covered in a thick layer of dust in her family’s former garage. Or, maybe, a different kid was using her bike now. 

She shakes the thought and forges on. Careful not to step on any suspicious mushrooms or plants. Jude is ever weary of any creatures looking at her through the trees so she keeps her head high and her focus forward. 

She’s walked off farther than she ought to have, but finds herself grateful for it. After passing through the milkwood she happened upon a hidden lake, enshrouded by lazy willow trees and surrounded by flowers in every shade of blue and purple. No matter the horrors of Faerie, there were still these scenes that seemed to have come straight from one of the fairy tale books of her youth.

Jude decides to set up in this beautiful area for a while. Gathering rocks from around the small lake she skips them across the surface. Or attempts to. It’s been a while since she’s done this. It feels bittersweet. Her father had been the one to teach her how to skip rocks on their summer trips to the beach. 

“What are you doing?” A commanding, yet curious voice questions over shoulder. To her embarrassment, she startles and whirls around, narrowly missing the mystery person's head with a thrown rock. 

With quick reflexes she’s not able to study who the mystery person is, when said person is throwing the rock back at her. She ducks in time, then springs back up to find none other than the youngest Prince of Faerie’s piercing kohl eyes studying her. 

“You.” 

She’s familiar with Cardan. He’s in the academy with her and Taryn. They don’t interact all that often considering their difference in social standing. 

“I command you to show me how to do what you were just doing.” The prince says snootily. Jude has the brief instance where she thinks she wants to laugh in his face or tell him off, but instead she bites her tongue. It was a bad idea to make enemies of the royal family. Respect for the Greenbriar line has been drilled into Taryn and Jude ever since Madoc took them in.

More like he murdered their parents, and kidnapped them. But in faerie, Jude has learned that might just be any other Tuesday for the Folk.

Jude rolls her eyes and trudges closer to the shore of the pristine lake. 

“First we need to find some rocks.” She states, searching the bank and finding a small handful. To her surprise the youngest prince has gotten onto his hands and knees and is digging through the dirt. If a Prince of Elfhame digging through dirt is a shock, the tail emerging from behind him is an even bigger one. 

She says nothing and waits for him to collect his rocks. She tucks the observation away for a later time, a question for Vivi, perhaps. 

Jude shows him the motions and watches as Cardan attempts to skip them across the surface. She quickly gets bored when she realizes he’s going to be doing this for a while. His focus is seemingly stuck on perfecting the skill. 

Instead, to kill more time, Jude trudges over to a decaying tree stump and takes up an act from her childhood that has been long forgotten. The urge to collect various pieces from nature and make a ‘land soup’ with the stump as the cauldron consumes her. It may be childish for someone whose age is now in the double digits, but she is alone, save for the Prince still tossing rocks. Nonetheless, she indulges on this small ounce of her lost childhood. 

After collecting leaves, rocks, brambles, a collection of blue and purple petals Jude stirs them into the cauldron. She found a large stick to act as a stirring device and set to work. Watching with rapt attention as the different bits of nature become this hodge-podge of nasty within the stump, she fails to hear Cardan creep up behind her. 

“What is that horrible mess?” 

To her great embarrassment, once again, she jolts-- her stick cracks against the stump from the shock. 

“It’s land soup.” She mutters.

“Your pardon?” 

“It’s a game from my childhood.” She’s not exactly sure how much of her life the Prince knows about, so she only supplies the minimal answer. 

“Ah.” He gets closer to the slop. “Have you considered adding water?” Jude swivels to look at him, astounded by his suggestion. If she’s read him correctly, he’s being playful. Before she can answer, Cardan is already rushing the few feet over to the lake. He gathers water in cupped hands, spilling some on the dash over to the stump. 

Wordlessly, with two mirroring grins, they hobble back and forth from the stump and the lake with cupped hands of water. The smell becomes atrocious, a sure-fire sign you’ve made land soup properly. 

“It smells awful.” Jude remarks, watching as Cardan uses her stick to swirl around the murky contents of the stump. 

“It’s more appealing than most of my meals.” From the strangely serious demeanor he adopts, Jude cannot tell if the Prince is joking. 

The sun is beginning to set below the horizon. Jude hadn’t realized how long she’d been away. She had tried to retreat when everyone else would have been asleep, completely disregarding why the Prince would ever be awake at this hour as well. 

Cardan catches her studying the moon rising in the distance. 

“Do you know your way home?” He questions softly. She nods. It’s growing dark now though, and she can’t see in the dark like the fae. The two still stand around the stump. 

“I can’t see in the dark.” She admits. 

“Madoc’s stronghold?” Cardan asks. 

Jude pauses then utters an affirmative. Swiftly his hand wraps around her wrist, and he’s dragging her through the dark patch of forest, until she recognizes the heady smell of the milkwood, all the way until she sees the familiar torches of Madoc’s stronghold just beyond the tree line the two are tucked into. 

She’s not sure what to say, or what to do with Cardan. In turn, he decides for both of them. Jude knows the honey laced sound of a glamour. She feels briefly infuriated and hurt, until he begins to speak. 

“You will go to your room, sleep, and mention our meeting to no one. You will not remember what happened tonight, you were simply going for a walk and got turned around.” 

Jude’s feet trample through the dark until she makes it to the door. Oriana ushers her in and up to her bedroom where Jude flops face first into her mattress. Exhausted with the smell of mud and flowers laced in her hair and clothes. When she wakes she craves honey cakes.