#here's the second half of the headcanon

[starcurtain]

I have this small, deeply personal headcanon that after his grandmother's passing, Alhaitham's home was so unbearably quiet that he started--just barely, just one or two words--to speak out loud to her as if she was still there.

"I've been accepted to the Akademiya, Grandmother."

"I passed my promotion exams."

"I debated with Haravatat's sage."

Just that, and quiet again.

But one day, it's: "I met someone strange."

"He keeps showing up when I'm trying to study."

"We don't agree on anything. Still..."

"I made a friend."

"Today, Kaveh and I were researching--"

"It's already dark. I didn't realize we spent so long in Razan Garden. Kaveh wanted to hear about my article--"

"He's going to be furious when I tell him the whole point for his portion of the lecture is based on a false predicate--"

The house where his grandmother used to be gets a little louder again; the noise lasts a little longer.

Until one day, when there's no words at all.

One day, when there's just the sound of a single sob, and then a long, long silence.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

What are the ninja/other characters top 3 favorite colors? Do any of them have stories behind why it's one of their favoruites?

Believe or not I have mentioned their second-favorite colors but I have more peeps to add to the list-

Kai: 1. Red (No explanation needed) 2. Gray (reminds him of his sister) 3. Amber (...no explanation needed)

Jay: 1. Blue (because it's Nya's favorite) 2. Yellow (his actual favorite) 3. Red (...no special reason)

Cole: 1. Orange (always was his comfort color/reminds him of his mom) 2. Pink (a color that has always made him happy) 3. White (a color that always serves to calm him)

Zane: 1. Pink (and he will NOT be shamed for it) 2. Light Blue (reminds him of his mom) 3. Purple (reminds him of Pixal <3)

Nya: 1. Blue (no explanation needed) 2. Maroon (she's still partial to it/reminds her of her brother) 3. Gray (it really does grow on her)

Lloyd: 1. Black (still stuck in his goth phase) 2. Magenta (...) 3. Green (despite everything he still finds a certain amount of comfort in it)

Jesse: 1. Marigold (very specifically Cole's eye color) 2. Pink (you can't wear that much pink and NOT love it) 3. White (begrudgingly; he can't help that he looks great in it)

Antonia: 1. Purple (Has always been partial to it; plus it's Nelson's color) 2. Orange 3. Black

Harumi: 1. Green (until it isn't) 2. Pink (until it isn't) 3. Black

Olivia: 1. Red/Maroon (her favorite accent color with no special meaning whatsoever) 2. Navy Blue 3. Yellow

Miranda: 1. Blue (the color of her favorite ninja) 2. Fuchsia (the color of her real favorite ninja) 3. Purple

Skylor: 1. Red (she's been swayed) 2. Amber (predictable, but it keeps her connected to her mom) 3. Yellow (she likes warm colors)

Pixal: 1. Green (it is a VERY important color to her) 2. Purple (aesthetically pleasing to her) 3. White (provides comfort)

Sunni: 1. Blue (for her favorite ninja) 2. Yellow (she's legally obligated to like yellow) 3. Pink (but only if its pastel)

Harleigh: 1. Gray 2. Blue 3. Black (ooh I'm throwing curveballs here)

[kiirotoao]

Lonnie, who all his life with his sons, constantly told Will, “don’t cry,” and Will always obeyed and sucked it up like a “man.”

Mike, who all their young lives together, who knew Will like no other, would only say, “don’t cry” in front of the bullies, all while shielding Will and promising “I’ll take you somewhere safe to cry, okay?” because Mike never truly stifled him from his emotions and let Will know that he could be both vulnerable and protected.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

A bunch posts ago I said Kenny is kinda part latino and never elaborated sooo

His mother is latina, specifically from Paraguay (like my best friend :D), but she and her brother moved to South Park when she was really young so she doesn't practically have an accent

However, she does speak in Spanish when talking to her parents (her brother doesn't talk to them, but she does) and to her brother

Kenny was mainly raised in English, but he forced himself to understand some words in Spanish as a little kid so he could understand his mother when she's talking to her family

When Kenny was about five, Carol's brother died (of old age they said, but really he got AIDS), but he lived with the McCormick's up until then. As he refused to learn English, Kenny also had to understand him in the very few times they would talk

Between his parka covering him and the cold weather, Kenny's skin looks like a white kid's, but if it was warmer and sunnier he'd tan really quick

Kenny can't form coherent sentences in Spanish too well, but he can understand almost everything in Spanish, mainly if it's with Paraguay accent (and he also knows a couple words in Guaraní, but it's a really hard language so that's it)

When he ended up at Mexico (S4 E10, "Probably"), he at first didn't understand anything because he wasn't used to listening to people talk to him in Spanish (as the one who mainly did it was his uncle) and less to the Mexican accent, but eventually he managed to communicate enough to get himself and Cartman out of there

Some of his favorites bands in Spanish are El Cuarteto De Nos (mainly El Cuarteto Tapicero) and Skimales (principally because of Atropellando Viejas and Ploma, La Gallina En Coma)

Also, when he watched Terrance & Phillip: Asses On Fire, he looked up the Spanish version of Uncle Fucka, and it didn't disappoint (as a Spanish person, it really slaps more than the original)

He will insult people in Spanish (there's so many Spanish swear words it's fucking awesome), and if they ask what it means he'll just say "gilipollas" means "handsome" or something like that XD

[faksyan]

Every day I think about how little we know about what the hell was going through anyone's head in mgs v and it's driving me insane, especially with Venom.

Like what do you mean they tell you in the beginning that he might get hallucinations and he goes yeah some weird stuff's going on with my brain :D and then it comes up like twice. What do you mean it's implied that he knew he's not Big Boss before the reveal but it's never explained to what extent he's aware of it. You're telling me there's a possibility he might have known the whole time and was just winging it? Pretending everything's fine, because he was stuck in the middle of the ocean with people with guns to all of whom he's basically god? How much more terrifying would that fucking be.

I guess that's the whole point and the reason so many people go "he's literally me" at V, even though the message was the exact opposite. He's not you, the player. You control him, and still see next to none of his perspective. You're still seeing Medic having to play Big Boss, and you are forcing him to play Big Boss. And V being aware of what's going on elevates that idea so, so much. Of being forced on a war pedestal, of being made to fit a role much bigger than you that you weren't made for (only in his case, he was), of dehumanization of soldiers. That anyone can be Big Boss, but not because of their skills or identity, and it's not a good thing.

And I get that that's the entire point but I want to knowww. let me innnn. tell me what he's thinkinggg

[bmpmp3]

I must hem and haw over the volume levels in the mix for the next few weeks even though its basically done SO in the meantime have this doodle:

original song Mesmerizer by 32ki (major warning for flashing for the music video), UST by アトリ科ヒワ属のゲン!

[baelconfessions]

It's a common thing in fanfics that firebenders run hot – slightly higher body temperature can't hurt you if you have this spirit blessing, right?

Weeeeell. This reproduction method of ours requires a slightly lower temperature for a healthy sperm. Does this mean that male firebenders have a higher chance to be infertile? Or do they have to consciously lower their body temperature to have babies?

You may have heard of those spas where the water helps with baby making. Just picture it. Fire Nation, a high enough mountain to actually have chilly weather, some cozy little cottages and a lake with cold water, with a bunch of firebenders freezing their balls off to have kids.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Just dropping by to say I love your blog a lot!!❤️❤️❤️ you are doing the lords work lol someday I try hard to find good questions to send you that I think you'd like to think about--but all I ever come up with is "since it's canon that after the tybw and 10 year time skip and they have tv--who would actually have a tv, and what do think they'd watch, or would they try to make their own weird version of a tv station/show? Would ichigo be able to get it on his home tv, like, he's just wanting one day and then there's yumichika, renji, ikkaku and shuuhei on the lowest budget drama in all 3 worlds"

Just want yall to know I love and appreciate all the work you do!!❤️❤️❤️

Aww, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy it! <333 You are one of our OG dash blorbos and it makes me really happy that we continue to blorbo it up together. <3

This seems like an excellent opportunity to bring back

which is further elaborated in this post. (I’d forgotten everything except the C-SPAN gif, which is a total disservice to House Hunters Interdimensional—I feel so ashamed!)

As far as who has TVs, I think all the division offices have one, because they were part of a military tech rollout. They have yet to really catch on individually, though. In the commercial district, there’s a TV store with a whole wall of them out front, and people tend to simple congregate in the streets to watch whatever’s on, as though it were a live playhouse. The difference is that it’s 24-hour programming, and when it’s not airing Central 46 C-SPAN it’s fueled by camera-happy insomniacs.

I used to live in a city that had a local access channel that a friend of mine swore by, which was a single-camera one-man puppet show performing the entire story of the Bible. Soul Society definitely has one of those, except it performs the full history of Soul Society. It’s actually incredibly well-researched and is the love labor of Some Guy who was granted access to and spent a lifetime absorbing the Kuchiki records. Byakuya has signed off on the show, but owing to its low production value, he did not consent to use of the Kuchiki name anywhere but in the credits roll.

There’s also a shopping channel that is essentially a slideshow of the existing SC catalogue, intercut with footage of straight-faced SC staffers describing the items. This show is incredibly popular, because it reaps the benefits of dual audiences: 1) People who want to buy stuff from the shopping channel, and 2) people who watch it because they think it’s a hilarious, dry-witted mockumentary-style social satire. (It is not.)

Similarly, there’s a fairly ambitious show that compiles "Lights and Sirens" style reporting from the top 13 most popular border checkpoints in Rukongai, filmed by bored shinigami sitting in firetowers. This show typically has the affect of John Trudell as Randy Peone in Smoke Signals’ KREZ Radio. (This would be my favorite show, she said, surprising no one.)

Yumichika, Renji, Ikkaku, and Hisagi DEFINITELY made a no-budget drama that was going for a found footage aesthetic but in actuality has the aesthetic of "Hisagi with a camcorder." Even though it’s supposed to be a hard-hitting crime thriller set in the universe of Detective Byakuya (but not centered on Byakuya), there are often entire sequences of, like, Yumichika doing tai chi on a dramatic outcropping in silhouette, sunset behind him, and the other three offering hushed commentary like nature documentarians.

[masquenoire]

Circe wasn't the first girl Roman kissed. He actually hit it off with another girl at the All Girl's Boarding School his parents sent him off to during his early teens, the two sneaking off for a bit of 'private fun' until the bullying incident occured where he lost his temper and glassed his tormentor's face.

[fatestouch]

top 5 “i can make them worse” believers

5. Kiyoshi

The only reason this horrible child isn’t higher on the list is only because there are four more worse than him. He doesn’t do it so much anymore, because of his jobs, but before when he had partners? Well... it’s just say he’s made people absolutely obsessed with him. On absolute purpose.

4. Yukio Sakura

He is honestly neck and neck with Kiyoshi, and the only reason that Yukio beats him is because he does the same shit Kiyoshi does, but somehow in a single night and then ghosts them. (and then maybe kills them, depends on how he feels.)

3. Azrael Lancaster

Because by god Azrael can be a manipulative and enabling bastard. If he wanted to, he could use that tried, true, and proven golden voice and poetic prose of his to gently convince someone of doing anything. And if the person already was about to do some fucked up shit? Here Azzy is saying do it. (And depending on who you are, he’ll say it’s hot.)

2. Jupiter St. Mary

Hey. Hey. *snaps fingers* Look at me. Not the whore, at me. He can literally use his voice to manipulate people to doing and thinking what he wants them to. The defense rests, your honor.

1. Orpheus

He’s old as dirt. He’s known Jupiter a long time. He’s taught Jupiter manipulation tactics. He can manipulate emotions. The defense rests, your honor.

[lightdash]

Sonic was a brat during his younger years, and no one knows this better than Tails. Although their unbreakable bond is tried and true, it wasn’t always that way.

Fresh off his second victory against Eggman, the Death Egg exploding behind him, Sonic returns to Westside Island with a simple desire: explore the world. Young and scrapy, with a fire in his chest that tells him to go go go — but he quickly finds that adventure isn’t so easy when you’ve got a tag-along to consider.

A tag-along that’s even younger than he is, and awkward to boot. Handy with mechanics (taking a real shine to his plane), and plenty eager to help… but man, what a cry baby! The first clap of thunder sends him diving under the nearest log, and he can barely hold his own. Always falling behind, tripping over spikes and bombs alike… he’s a handful, and Sonic has things to do and places to see!

He’s never had a friend before Tails, so the adjustment period is difficult to say the least. Tries to shake him a few times and even hands over the Tornado — “it’s yours”, but Tails still calls it Sonic’s plane and follows him everywhere. It’s annoying.

… It’s nice. Sharing the night sky with someone who will make up constellations with you. A warm body curled at your back, shielding you from the cold. Laughter when you tell a stupid one-liner. Suddenly, having someone by his side isn’t a hindrance, but a comfort instead.

Tails picks up him up after Knuckles punches him on Angel Island, and he thinks, I can always count on you.

[emile-hides]

*pokes head in* Hello do you have any opinions about Zarya or Moira to share possibly

I have BOTH but sense I fear long posts I'll just do Zarya for now...

One aspect about them I love

She's so nice!! I know that sounds really boring but I think about it all the time because like! How easy is it to make Big Russian Lady also big scary big serious. Zarya is super kind, she's even more friendly. I think about her interaction with Alejandra from Searching a lot. It's clear she's a very patient, nurturing person to me. Kind and careful.

One aspect I wish more people understood about them

I feel like out of all the character's, Zarya's the one the fandom has the most universal take on. I don't see a lot of variation in how she's written between fanon content, so I don't have anything to put here.

Headcanons i have about this character

Lesbian queen we love her

A really big fan of cute things, has plushes and cute tea sets. Likes to show them off

She bakes!! Cakes and cookies and brownies she's a real pro

But she can't cook actual food very well.

One character I love seeing them interact with

I'm so incredibly Biased but Lynx!!! Lynx17 her sassy Gay They/Them!!! NBLM WLW Solidarity!!!

It's in part just because I love Lynx17, but also because I love seeing Zarya soften up at an Omnic, they are her friend, human, Omnic, or otherwise. I'd love to see more of them in the future breaking down Zarya's biased, and also bullying her as she deserves. They're a good dynamic; Smarmy Twink and Himbo Lesbian.

One character I wish they would interact with/interact with more

Firm believer in Zarya/Roadhog besties!! They are Big Buffs with a love of Soft Cute Things and Omnic Trauma and I just think!! They should hang out.

It goes hard with my age regressor Roadhog headcanon as well I think she'd make a very good caregiver for him on top of just. Being a very good, healthy relationship for him to have.

Lynx17 fixes her Omnic Bias, she fixes Roadhog's Omnic Bias, Roadhog fixes Junkrat's Omnic Bias, and then Junkrat and Lynx17 make out really hard. Is this too much to ask for?

Headcanons I have that involve them with other characters

Well I just said my biggest one with her being Regressed Mako's main CG. I want to see her carrying him on her hip with one arm like it's no big deal. It's what he deserves.

I think she gets along really well with Cassidy, in a "This is my weird little brother" kind of way? She picks him up like a kitten and pats his back too hard when laughing at his jokes

Brigette looks up to her (has a littol crush on her?) and they work out together!! Zarya also likes to watch Brigette work sometimes

She's oddly soft to Bastion. She refuses to comment on it, but it's because he acts a lot like her baby niece back home

She's the only one (other than Junkrat) to laugh at Winston's puns genuinely, though a handful of them go over her head

Reinhardt likes to challenge her to arm wrestling matches, he's yet to win one, but they've called a draw a handful of times

I think out of everyone she'd get along the worst with Torbjorn. Not for anything he does, just because she can't take him very seriously.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

i rewatched the l&o s6 crossover with homicide: life on the street and a) what was the POINT of the “lennie slept with munch’s ex-wife subplot” literally i was in tears laughing and b) why aren’t there more kincoy fics where jack learns about bayliss flirting with claire. the comedy potential

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"i feel kinda ugly" ft. the monster trio!

in which the biggest dumbasses in the whole of sea comfort you when you fall prey to your shitty thoughts

ft. luffy, zoro, sanji x fem!reader

set-up: you happened to utter out what you thought of yourself and these men are here to prove you wrong. (kind of a serious set of headcanons, but ill try being funny when i can)

warnings: nsfw; somnophilia if you squint, oral f!receiving and m!recieving, boobjob, creampie; MDNI (thankyou very much)

luffy:

my fav little gremlin's in town ^^

- "i feel kinda ugly" you had muttered it under your breath, words dissolving into the chilly night air. you were laying on your shared bed, staring up at the uneventful ceiling as he snored lightly next to you. - he was supposed to be asleep, atleast that's what you had thought (how can you expect him to stay up after eating like 500kg of meat??) - but he stirs awake almost instantly, turning his head to look at your face. he stifles a yawn, mumbling through a half-lidded gaze, "why would you say that?" - "why would i say what?" you smile, waving it off as if it had just been a wayward thought - but lord knows the amount of nights you've tossed and turned, thinking about all the ways you were incompetent for this man who lay in front of you. you weren't pretty like nami or robin, you weren't quick-witted like them, god, what did he see in you? - "who said you were ugly?" his face is scrunched up, the crease b/w his eyebrows deepening "luffy let it g-" "no. who said it?" his violent undertone doesn't go unnoticed, as if he's threatening to take care of whoever made you miserable - you don't have the heart to tell him it's yourself. you convinced yourself you weren't pretty enough. - and so, you stay silent - but his arms are pulling you impossibly close. closer and closer till your chest is pressed flushed against his and you're staring at him confused - "luf-" "that's bullshit." there's conviction in his words that make a dull warmth cascade over your face and neck. - he is pressing his forehead against yours, hands gripping onto you tightly as if letting his grip loosen means he loses this argument. "you're beautiful. you're smart and kind and beautiful." - at this point, youre about to cry - but he inhales deeply, then says "not to mention you smell like a fruit. thats tasty." - yeah the tears dried up. they fucked off and went to sahara desert. - youre currently fighting off a smile because what the actual fuck prompted this man to say that??? and more importantly what fruit do you smell like? "what fruit do i smell like?" "mhm" he's deep in thought, "tangerines" "luffy everyone smells like tangerine. it's because of nami's tangerine trees." he shrugged, "still pretty tasty" - and now youre kissing his adorably stupid face. your fingers tug on the hair on his nape lightly and he whines into the kiss, sucking on your bottom lip as he does so - "you're so pretty" and so he's kissing your neck, nibbling and grazing lazily - two seconds later, he fell asleep. - like actually fell asleep. his mouth is on your neck, open mouthed and half-nibbling and he's snoring through it all. (i mean, what did you expect from someone who had eaten 500kg of meat??) - issokay though cause the second he wakes up, his fingers are hiking one of your legs over his hip. the same fingers then slip inside the loose folds of your shorts, playing with your pretty pussy till you stir awake, moaning his name - you're the one being toyed with and he's the one whispering and whining like he's gonna explode "does that feel good, ngh-" a grin, "god... fuck, cum for me, pretty" - he continues till your velvety walls are spasming against his fast-paced fingers and your teeth are sinking into his shoulder, muffling shrieks this early in the morning - "you're gorgeous" he whispers through a grin - you choose to believe him

zoro:

myhusband ^^

- this was the last thing you wanted. truly. - zoro had just stepped out of the shower with nothing but a towel losely tied around his waist (this was after he had succesfully ignored you and trained for like an eternity) - water droplets clung onto his broad figure, slowly trailing downwards as they glided over every ridge and scar - you probably should have pulled him onto the bed with you, straddled his hips and asked him to stop ignoring you to go spend time with his swords - you probably should have. - instead, you lay stomach-down on your bed, your head softly cradled beneath your arms and against the pillow - "what's up with you?" he asks, unfazed to your tactics "nothing" you mumble half-heartedly he gave you a double over, "you sure? you're sulking more than usual" "i-" you sigh, "i just idk... i just feel kinda ugly?" - this motherfucker laughs, "yeah i mean you kinda are" - he didn't know you were serious. he didn't know till you were softly crying against the linen sheets, your body shivering against your own cries and staggered breaths - "yn?" there's panic in his voice, "yn, baby, are you crying?! fUCK IM SORRY!" - he didn't know you were serious. i mean how wAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! HE THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING DRAMATIC FOR NO REASON LIKE ALWAYS - "hey" you've never heard the swordsman speak so softly as he does now. he's pulling you up softly, placing you in his lap almost mechanically, "yn, baby-" - he lets you sob into his chest for as long as you need to, his fingers are rubbing gentle patterns into your back, arms and waist. - once you've calm down, his hand tips your face lightly towards him. he silently wipes the tears away. - he doesn't say anything and somehow his silence brings more comfort than his words could. - "don't think stupid shit" his palm is resting on your face, pouring warmth across the stretch of your cheek, "you're gorgeous." "but you said im ugly" you lean into his touch "i also said i will return back nami's loans with full interest" a small smile tugs on his lips, "sometimes even i say stupid shit" "so, you don't think i'm ugly?" - his response comes in the way of leaning in and kissing you, one hand on your cheek as the other kneads your waist. - he's laying you down, hovering over you easily and pressing hot kisses to your neck and jawline. sucking, biting till you can feel bruises blossoming across your skin. his knee presses against your core, blinding you with delicious jolts " his agile fingers are hiking up your skirt, letting it pool around your waist, "let me show you how pretty you are, baby" - so, he's pulling your panties with his teeth, he's licking a clean stripe on your inner thigh, kissing and bruising the sensitive skin "and you're dripping wet already? want me to fuck you that bad, eh?" - he's running his tongue over your clit, tracing figures as he alternates between your drooling hole and the bundle of nerves - and so obviously you're now cumming on his face, letting your juices coat his lips, thighs shaking as he gives you kitten licks to help you ride your orgasm - he looks up at you; your hairline damp with sweat, eyes closed in bliss, a warm hue of red sprinkled across your face, your chest rising and falling with each labored breath "i've never seen someone prettier" he declares from between the plush of your thighs, smiling up at you like it was the first time he had truly seen you - you choose to believe him

sanji:

mhm, a fine specimen ^^

- you don't keep secrets from sanji. - or more like you physically cannot. - this man is your greatest cheerleader, there's no way you can hide something from him no matter how squeamish it makes you to say out loud - so after noticing your off behaviour the entire evening and pestering you for twenty minutes after dinner, he had successfully got you to say what you were thinking out loud "sweetheart, darling, the apple of my eye. what is wrong?" you shake your head again, "nothing." "yn, my love, 'fess up" - he said it so sweetly you had to fess up. there was no choice. - "i just feel a bit bad about myself today" "bad? how so?" "i just... just feel kinda ugly" - he looks like he's going into cardiac arrest (he probably is) cause there's no way you, his girlfriend, literally the prettiest girl in all four seas just said that out loud - honestly, i can just see this man tearing up and blaming himself "is it me, mon chéri? did i do something wrong?" tears are clinging on dangerously onto his lasheline "what?! no!" "i am sorry. i love you so much. i must have said something wrong because you're so gorgeous, so earth-shatteringly beautiful-" - honestly you had to calm this bitch down first, explaining to him that he was perfect in every way he can be, it's probably just your own fault - but he refuses to accept it as your fault. - this man, this beautiful, amazing man has to now cling onto you and pepper kisses onto you face like there's no tomorrow. like everytime you try to speak, he wont let you cause he needs to ramble about how absolutely gorgeous you are - he spoke for so long that you are now convinced that to the world you may not be the prettiest woman alive but to this blonde man (with a great ass), you mean everything - his kisses blended into soft whispers and whimpers as you forced him to rest against the headboard and straddled his hips - you can feel his poking erection through his dress slacks as you kiss him senseless with only one goal in mind, to let him know he did nothing wrong - you nudge his slacks downwards till his cock hits you lightly in your face - your lips encircle his tip, sucking on it lightly as your hand moves up and down his length, languid and slow "yn~" his voice is a choked whisper, "you- are killing me. faster, please darling." - now you're catching his dick between your tits, massaging his length with the softness of your breasts as your tongue laps up at his tip, licking any pre-cum that escapes him "fuck fuck fuck fu-" his moans are an incoherent ramble, "i'm gon' cum, fuck you feel- so ngh- good" - he comes on your tits and face and almost releases again when he sees you scoop up the sticky fluid from the corner of your lips and lick it away - so with cum-painted tits and face, he whispers, "yn, you are the most gorgeous woman i have seen." - you choose to believe him

a/n: honestly cannot thank you guys for how much you'be blown up these posts in the past few days, so here, have a little treat

[sweet-as-an-angel]

so! you mentioned in the 'p0rn preferences' post that Gaz is not the one who jerks off the most in the 141, and I humbly ask you, who would that be?

I don't mean this as a request, just a little discussion, cause I feel like Soap would just be going at it at any chance possible, like a bunny. he probably doesn't care much if someone hears it, but that's just me thinking too much into it.

Who Jerks off the Most in the 141 + König

Warnings: 18+, Heavy Mentions of Masturbation, Male Masturbation, Implied Reader in Individual Headcanons, Accidental and Implied Voyeurism, Edging, Brief Mention of Injury, Men Who Moan <3, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except 'You'.

A/N: As per Anon's question (which I just had to turn into a post of its own) I present to you the list of the 141 members (and König) who jerk off from the most to least <3

Soap

I have to agree with you here, Anon - Johnny is most definitely the king of self love when it comes to the 141.

He doesn't much care where he is or who he's with; when he has to satisfy his needs, he'll do so.

Though, he'll spare whoever's with him the sight of watching him throwing his head back, trying to stifle his moans behind gritted teeth whilst the wet sound of his hand slipping up and down the length of his shaft fill the room.

Unless they want to.

For one reason or another, he's nigh-insatiable when it comes to his libido, and the fact that his stamina affords him the luxury of beating himself off until his cum is practically translucent doesn't help.

The slightest thing can set him off.

Someone brushing past him ? Hard.

Someone stroking his ego a little too enthusiastically ? Bricked up.

He sees something that's shaped to be a little too curvy or phallic ? Stiff as a pole.

He remembers something mildly suggestive you did three years ago in that restaurant ? He's going to the Horny Realm.

Yes, his teammates have complained about his incessant moaning-come-grunting-come-whimpering through all hours of the night, his voice contorting through a spectrum of desperation and Johnny always ending up spent and overstimulated by the time the sun comes up.

And then he's ready to do it all again the second night touches the horizon line, giving his teammates a knowing smile when he walks into the room sporting nothing else save for a pair of boxers and a monster that looks to be trying to tear itself free from them.

Gaz

Dude's young. Of course he's throttling that rooster on a nigh-daily basis.

The only reason he's not at it as much as Soap is because he likes to believe he still has a few threads of his self-restraint intact.

He doesn't.

Especially when it comes to you (regardless of whether you're dating yet or not).

But he doesn't need to know that.

Honestly, the only thing that separates him from Johnny's unmatched libido is the fact that it takes a little more than the slightest provocation to get Gaz going.

Albeit, that line is a thin one.

If he so much as accidentally sees something explicit for upwards of three seconds, he's hard.

The only advantage of his need for satisfaction is the speed with which he can achieve it.

He and Johnny actually timed each other once to see who could get off the fastest.

Gaz won. Though, only by a slim margin.

Needless to say, that made for a rather interesting conversation with the Captain when he walked in on two of his best soldiers sat panting on the edge of their cots, an almost-translucent spray spattered across their stomachs, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

Ghost

The third-in-line for the Throttle Throne is none other than our beloved Ghost.

Unlike Johnny and Gaz, Ghost is more likely to leave himself alone at the first sign of trouble, toughing it out until he can will his mind to less lustful pastimes.

He won't make his jacking off known to anyone, either, often doing it in the shower where the water beats down so harshly that no sound can be heard for the water's fall.

That, and he's a master at keeping his voice low, no matter the circumstances.

More often than not, Simon makes quick work of jerking off purely because it’s a means to an end. However, if it’s you he’s thinking of, he’s much more likely to take his time — to immerse himself in the fantasy of your body around his, taking him so well in one capacity or another. Fucking yourself dumb on his cock.

During these times, he’s thorough — much more likely to edge himself, to throw his head back and growl between gritted teeth, to savour the sensation coiling in his stomach, his balls growing tight.

Otherwise, he’ll stroke one out as quickly as he can, getting back to business as usual.

And to look at him, on the surface, you'd never know that he just spent the last three minutes rubbing one out in the bathroom (yes, he is also a contender for first place in the 'Who Can Jack Off The Quickest Competition', but he'll never allow Johnny or Gaz the luxury of witnessing his unprecedented skill; that's for your eyes only).

Until he corners you, breathing down your neck, scolding you for tempting him - a man whose restraint lies only in his ability to hold off from reducing you to an exponential reflection of his prior state, breathless and covered in fluids.

König

Have you seen the size of that thing ? Man should be in the olympics for being able to throw that weight around.

Similarly to Ghost, König only gets himself off when it's absolutely necessary.

Only if he doesn't have you lying around to help him, of course.

Though, he lets himself have a bit of fun with it. Especially if it's been a tough day.

He's vocal, too. Though he tries not to be.

He just can't help it. Days' - maybe even weeks' - worth of unspent adrenaline and semen is hardly any way for a soldier like König to go about his life. So, he expels it in the privacy of quite literally any isolated space he can find.

König is not an adventurous spirit by any means when it comes to self pleasure, but when needs must, he's willing to shoulder the weight of the prospect that someone on his team could walk in at any second and catch him spraying his stomach or the wall white with, let's face it, thick ropes of cum.

Hong-Jin's actually caught him doing that before now.

That's actually how the two became friends: Horangi heard König grunting in the store cupboard and, knowing how stubborn his Colonel was with letting others know when he was injured, sought him out. Wanted to offer his help.

Catching Colonel König in the act of throwing his head back whilst growling the name '(Y/N)' into the darkest corner of the room was, suffice it to say, not what Horangi had been expecting.

Price

You just know he's cool with it. And by 'cool', I mean incredibly intentional, controlled, and not ravenous in the ways our other favourite military princesses are.

Sure, Price has gotten hard on the job a few times.

Who hasn't ?

But thanks to his level head, unwavering devotion to his work, and absolute refusal to acknowledge that he did, in fact, get a little bit of a chub during a shoot-out, he's managed to gain control over every facet of his body.

Until he comes home to you, of course.

Until he's able to loom over you like an omen and run his hands down your sides, stopping at your hips and pressing kisses that become more open-mouthed the further down the side of your neck he dips.

Pressing his hips into yours. Something demands your attention.

There have been very few occasions where a cold shower wasn't a quick enough fix for him.

When the days of having you milk him are too far out of sight, he's had to suffice with his own hands before now. Had to imagine - remember - what yours felt like in his place, your lips curled up as he gripped the chair arms, breathless as he moaned into the warm tones of your shared apartment.

But don't worry ! He'll be sure to catch you up on everything you've missed while he's been away once he returns.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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[slytherinslut0]

enemies w/ tension. | slytherin boy headcanons

author's note: feralism inside. readers be advised. eighteen plus.

- your enemies reaction to you bending over in front of them.

Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy, as your enemy, was an absolute arsehat.

He’d purposely go out of his way to make your life a living hell whenever he bloody could.

The teasing and pranking was relentless; from accidentally spilling a particular shimmering potion on your white uniform blouse, rendering it perfectly see-through and exposing your bra to everyone in potions class, to pulling out your seat when you weren’t looking; he’d done it all.

He was an absolute menace, but you also knew there was something more to it than that, something possessive, something obsessive.

And you thought this for a multitude of reasons, but the main one being that he admitted he was into you while drunk at a common room party. which of course he denied the next day, and every other day since, choosing instead to be as annoying as ever.

but on this particular late evening, assigned as partners for a class project, you found yourselves alone together; the tension high and the banter relentless.

“Draco, please stop acting like a bloody child for five seconds.”

He’d roll his eyes, fighting a smirk. “Pleading for mercy are you? How adorable.”

You’d huff, staring at him with your arms crossed out of frustration as he held your quill above his head, just out of your reach.

“No, I’m pleading for you to stop being so goddamn insufferable. Give me my quill.” You’d hiss, entirely irritated.

Of course he’d just laugh, wetting his lips as he analyzed your frustration, revelling in the fact he’s so clearly gotten you going.

“Here.” He’d sneer, all before tossing it half-way across the room. “Go fetch.”

by this point, your blood was boiling, but you wouldn’t miss the glint in his eyes, the one that told you he was enjoying this a little more than he should be.

With a frustrated sigh, you pivoted sharply, seizing the perfect opportunity. As you closed in on your quill, a deliberate hair flip cascaded over your shoulder. Slow and sensuous, you bent at the hips, hands trailing down your sides, tracing the subtle sway of your body reaching for the quill. Picking it up achingly slow, on the ascent, you locked eyes with Draco over your shoulder, a sly smirk playing on your lips.

Draco’s typically poised demeanor faltered as he watched, an involuntary pause freezing his features. His steely gaze, usually cloaked in arrogance, softened into a momentary bewilderment.

The realization hit him like a revelation, and before you could even process it, he was up and out of his seat, one hand gripping the back of your head as he loomed over you.

“What the fuck was that?” His voice was torn, shredded. “Quite the fucking tease, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You blinked, grinning. “I simply picked up my quill.”

His grip on the back of your head tightened, his pupils blown wide with lust. All his restraint was gone.

“You’re a fucking filthy little thing “ he leaned in closer, wetting his lips as he glimpsed yours. “Do that again and I’ll fuck you right here, right over this desk.”

Blaise Zabini.

Blaise fucking Zabini. Your enemy? You guessed you could call him that.

Mainly because all the guy ever did was sabotage your bloody love life. Every single damn chance he got.

And not even in a traditional asshole type of way, like by scaring dudes off or threatening their livelihoods--oh, no.

he scared them off by just being himself.

You’d known Blaise since first year, being that the two of you are from the same house and share the same friend group,

but, all the two of you have ever done, since day bloody one, was banter and bicker like a pair of fucking first years.

But as you matured, that friendly banter slowly transitioned into something more, something that neither of you seemed willing to acknowledge.

Something that you knew was about to boil over, at any given moment. and perhaps, that moment was today.

you sighed in frustration, watching as the guy you’d been talking to all night began to make his way through the crowd, finally taking the hint and excusing himself after Blaise had just ever-so-kindly invited himself into your conversation.

“Why do you have to ruin everything?” You took a sip of your drink, glancing at a smirking Zabini through narrowed lids. “Do you not want me to find love? Do you truly hate me that much?”

“I did you a favour, trust me,” he’d quip, flashing those perfect pearly teeth at you. “Dude would have bored you death.”

“The great Zabini, doing me a favour?” Your eyes widened, and you’d stifle an amused scoff. “Sure you’re feeling okay?”

As Blaise was poised to respond, you fumbled with your wand, inadvertently dropping it onto the wooden floor of the common room. Acting on instinct, you bent down to retrieve it, sensing Blaise's eyes lingering on your backside for an unnecessarily long moment as you slowly straightened up.

And when you finally looked over, you watched as he brought a hand up to his mouth, attempting to hide his grin as he shot you a knowing, wide-eyed glance, his body tensed as though he was fighting to restrain himself.

but after only a few seconds, he’d step closer, his hand grazing your arm as he leaned in.

“Excuse me miss, but I think you’ve made me drop something,” he’d pause, watching your eyes as you met his.

“I’m sorry?” You snorted. “what are you-“

he’d pull you closer, bringing his mouth toward your ear. “you made me drop my fucking jaw…”

you’d blink, caught off guard. “Blaise-“

“That ass is fucking perfect,” he murmured, wetting his lips. “cant hide it anymore, princess…i want you bad.”

Lorenzo Berkshire.

“Enzo-earth to bloody Enzo,” you emitted an audible groan, sinking back down into the chair beside him.. “can you please at least fucking attempt to help me?”

Enzo was uninterested in your pleas, truthfully, he was uninterested in anything you had to say. Paying no heed, he sat slouched, head nestled in his arms on the desk, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

you sighed. this was going to be a long damn class.

“Enzo, please? you can sleep after class-“

He grumbled softly under his breath, neglecting to raise his head from the desk. However, he pivoted it towards you, his bleary brown eyes meeting yours.

“can you knock it off?” his voice was a shredded rasp. it was clear he was exhausted. “don’t you ever get tired of hearing your own voice?”

You scoffed, irritation evident on your face. This was the typical Enzo conversational experience--a constant exchange of snark and jabs. It baffled you how a man so fucking attractive could also be so damn daft at times.

“i don’t, actually,” you huffed, trying to keep your composure. “but i certainly get tired of your ignorant attitude.”

that managed to get at least a chuckle out of him, even if it was a half-assed one.

“spicy today, i see.” his lids fluttered back closed as he muttered, “bite me, darling.”

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you teased, your voice taking on an arrogant tone. “masochist.”

Enzo emitted a snort, a hearty chuckle escaping from his chest in response to your suggestive jab. Progress was evident, and you sensed the need to elevate things to the next level if you intended to secure his assistance.

Making sure his eyes remained closed, you slyly nudged your quill, sending it tumbling off the table and onto the floor. A mischievous smirk played on your lips as it hit the ground, and Enzo's eyes snapped open, fixing on you.

Maintaining the intense eye contact, you slowly leaned over in the chair, letting the seductive sway of your movements accompany your reach for the fallen quill.

you could feel Enzo's gaze following your every movement as you retrieved the quill with a lingering touch--all while a subtle, suggestive smile danced on your lips.

the second you straightened out, Enzo sat up straight, clearing his throat, tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he fought to collect himself.

“what’s the matter, Enz?” you quipped, unable to control yourself. “thought you were tired?”

“don’t play with me, angel.” he muttered, leaning closer. “please, Merlin, don’t fucking play with me.”

you’d snicker. “help me with this assignment and i’ll let you touch it.”

“deal.”

Mattheo Riddle.

you and Mattheo were enemies for one reason, and one reason only--his suffocating arrogance.

perhaps you were the only girl in the school who called him out on his bullshit, perhaps you were the only girl in the school who didn’t fall flat at his feet anytime he simply breathed.

and Mattheo, well, he wasn’t used to this type of treatment. and he certainly wasn’t keen on the fact he couldn’t get you in his bed with a mere second long glance.

of course, you were fully conscious of the fact he was hot as fuck, but your self-respect and dignity outweighed your sexual desires, which in turn, created fiery spats every-time the two of you were near each other.

And so, here you were, paired with him for a research assignment; the two of you alone in the library on a Sunday night, while he was totally hungover. And as insufferable as ever.

“Mattheo, give my fucking textbook back.”

He’d groan, rolling his eyes as he tucked the book under his arm, hugging it to his chest while seated sluggishly.

“Come and get it back, then.” He’d utter, smirking. “I promise I don’t bite…hard.”

You fought back a scoff. “You won’t be able to bite at all if you don’t cut it the fuck out…it’s almost ten o’clock we need to start this.”

Mattheo rolled his eyes, again, his tongue piercing the inside of his cheek as he pulled the book out from under his arm, and stood up, moving over to the bookshelf behind your chair.

With suffocating snark, he knelt down, shoving the book onto one of the shelves lowest to the ground, all before turning back around and smirking at you, crossing his arms over his chest and shrugging casually as he cocked an eyebrow.

“You told me to give it back.” The arrogance in his tone was nauseating. “You didn’t specify where.”

“First of all, that’s the wrong shelf,” you’d mutter, watching his eyes follow you as you pushed up from the chair, veering closer. “And second of all, you’re not funny.”

Mattheo poised for a sharp retort, ready to counter with his usual biting wit. However, his words stumbled into silence as he observed you drawing near.

With a swift, almost calculated movement, you bent at the hips to retrieve your book beside him. The fabric of your skirt dared to venture higher up your thighs than convention allowed, leaving Mattheo momentarily entranced and rendering his intended response obsolete.

But the second you straightened out, meeting his eyes, lips teasing a knowing smirk, he was on you.

Your back slammed against the shelf as he grappled your hips, shoving you back. he towered over you, his lips pressed directly against your ear as he growled;

“You shouldn’t be bending over like that in front of me,” his voice was torn, shredded, and he finished the sentence off with a sharp “ever.”

your heart was hammering. “Why not, Matty? Didn’t enjoy the show?”

“You have no idea what that ass of yours does to me,” he groaned, his grip on your hips tightening. “Every fucking day I imagine railing it--I imagine fucking the attitude right out of you…you should know better than to tempt me.”

Theodore Nott.

“Look at that,” Theodore quipped, his snarky grin practically evident in his tone of voice. “top of the class again. how does that L feel, huh?”

you grumbled, rolling your eyes so far into the back of your skull that you were seeing white.

“don’t get cocky, Nott.” you nearly snarled, the frustration seeping from your lips like breath. “it’s not a good look on you,”

theodore merely chuckled, knowing that was a complete fucking lie.

cockiness was an infuriatingly good look on him, and that was solely due to the fact that the objects of his arrogance were damn impressive achievements that could make anyone green with envy.

the man was unfathomably smart for an arrogant jock whose life was dedicated to being the best quidditch player to ever exist.

clucking his tongue, he’d shoot you a knowing glance. “you sound jealous, bella. what’s your grade?”

as he tried to lean over to glimpse your mark, you pulled your paper away from him, scowling. “how about mind your own business, hm?”

he’d chuckle. “never been known for that, have i?”

Before you could formulate a response, Theodore snatched the paper from your hands, leaning away to sneak a glance at your mark. Your groan of irritation resonated, signaling your exasperation with his antics.

Annoyed, you reached over to grab your paper back, your low-cut blouse exposing more of your chest than you’d intended.

As soon as Theodore’s eyes fixed on your chest, noting your breasts practically spilling out of your shirt, he paused; his fingers involuntarily releasing the paper without further fight, his lips parting and eyes darkening.

“merlin,” he’d breathe, his voice torn. “you trying to give a lad a fucking heart attack, wearing a shirt like that?”

your cheeks grew warm, his eyes not once breaking from your chest as you straightened back out in your chair, adjusting yourself.

“it’s rude to stare, Nott.” you’d say, fighting a grin. “didn’t your mommy ever teach you that?”

Theodore let out a low groan, edging his body closer to yours. His lips dangerously neared your ear, and he couldn't resist sneakily glancing down your shirt, unable to control his wandering gaze.

“it’s rude to tease, Bella,” he’d purr, his voice a dark murmur. “and truth be told, i can’t quite help myself…”

you huffed, unable to stifle your smirk. “sounds like you need a refresher in manners.”

“Oh, principessa,” he’d retort, his voice laced with need. “you can refresh me in anything you want as long as i can see more of those perfect tits of yours.”

Tom Riddle.

Tom Riddle was an absolute brilliant genius;

a good man. a private, by-the book type of student.

and if you were being completely honest with yourself, this was precisely why the two of you didn’t quite get along.

it seemed as though Tom had it out for you, as though he had some sort of personal vendetta to make your life a living hell.

At every opportunity, he wielded his prefect powers to land you in trouble for something. Perhaps, in all fairness, you should have known better than to sneak into the restricted section of the library or prowl around the castle late at night,

but, gods. couldn’t he just cut you some bloody slack for once?

Admittedly, you were afraid to cross Tom. You weren't eager to be on his bad side, but at the same time, you weren't prepared to entirely abandon breaking the rules and having fun just because you were aware he could catch you.

so instead, you learned his schedule, where he’d be and at what times, knowing how to effectively avoid him.

the man was a cunning genius, you knew he could effectively destroy you if he so pleased.

but, on this particular night, he was set to be patrolling the dungeons for at least another two hours, giving you plenty of time to sneak into the library and do a little research.

and everything was going extremely well, hidden in the restricted section, blanketed by the nights encompassing darkness, when you noticed your shoelace was untied.

Bending down to address the matter, a peculiar sensation tingled through your senses as you completed the task. A subtle shift in the atmosphere hinted at an approaching presence, and just as you straightened up, the hushed cadence of footsteps drew closer.

Before you could pivot to face the intruder, their looming silhouette materialized behind you.

A towering figure, their breath, warm and palpable, brushed over your ear as they leaned in, setting your nerves on edge.

“you shouldn’t be bending over like that in public,” the voice was a deep, dark rasp in your ear, the arrogance in the tone unmistakable. “some people might think you’re a little slut.”

heat rushed you, your thighs clenched. “and what if i want some people to think that?”

immediately understanding your suggestive remark, Tom wasted no time before grappling your hips and spinning you around to face him, one hand slithering around your lower back and grasping a palmful of your ass.

“filthy whore,” he’d growl, his voice shredded now, barely restrained. “breaking the rules and showing off that perfect ass for anyone to see…calls for punishment i’d say.”

his teeth found your neck and you whimpered, clutching onto him. “i’m-“

Tom pulled back, meeting your eyes. “bend over the desk, now.”

#sorry #i got extremely carried away #18+ au.