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cattimeswithjellie · 3 months

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Server Tour Stream Recap (Gem POV) 6-13-2024

((It's finally done! It's 13,000 words long! It is also available on AO3 (as are all the other recaps) if you can't read it here, just look for my username Etraytin!))

1:55 Gem opens the stream and greets the chat. She’s inside her base, grabbing rockets because today is a special day! She’s streaming a Hermitcraft meeting, which is weird, but this meeting is actually a server tour where everyone will get a chance to see one anothers’ bases. The tour was Joe’s idea and some people will be streaming, some recording. Gem already recorded today, so here she is!

3:00 Gem joins in on the server tour voice group, where the Hermits are complimenting each others’ weird outfits. Ren is showing off his new skin, a Gigacorp space suit. Cleo tells him he no longer looks like a kid who dressed himself. Ren tells them that was the mission, to regain some semblance of dignity. Cleo would not go that far. Gem adjusts the sound levels to make everyone more audible, just as Cleo asks everyone who is streaming to mute for a moment. Apparently she has more to say about Ren’s outfit. Joe and Gem both confirm that they will not be deafening. Cleo tells Ren she will talk with him later about the thing she just noticed about his outfit. Ren doesn’t like the sound of this. Bdubs asks Ren where exactly the pink stripe is on his outfit. Ren, somewhat defensively, says it’s on his belt buckle. Cleo is still laughing. Joel crouches for a good look as Bdubs decides he knows everything he needs to know. Joel makes a comment about something peeking just a little bit. He could be talking about the microphones, sure. Gem scolds the Hermits, reminding them that Cleo wasn’t even going to say it! Cleo admits that wasn’t what she was going to mention. Ren admits that he’s just sen what the other Hermits are seeing, and he hates his life. He tells everyone he’ll see them next season and leaves the game.

5:20 Gem checks volume levels with Chat, just as Jono raids into the stream. Chat is real distracted by Ren’s outfit, but they attempt to participate in the volume check. In the background, Joe explains that he has four shulkers of lava to represent the lava pool from the start of the season, where they’d once intended to meet to kick off their world tour. The Hermits begin digging a new lava pool. Ren comes back and says this reminds him of 1.7, just flat grass and lava. Gem has missed Joe’s explanation of why they are digging the lava pool, but she has to resist the temptation to knock her friends into it. She punches Joel instead, who tries to shoot her with an arrow. Cleo really hopes that Hypno, whose yard the new pool is in, chose this exact spot to log out.

7:30 The question is raised, whose base to visit first? Xisuma is the obvious choice, being as how it is literally right there, but he claims to be “wildly unprepared.” Joe suggests that this will just make the other Hermits feel better about their own bases. They wait for everyone to join who is coming, while Ren appreciates the Eye of Sauron (Cub’s glass firework) staring down upon them all. While they are waiting, the group resumes teasing Ren. Cleo jokes that if Ren thinks eyes look like that, he should see an optician. Xisuma asks Ren how many fingers he’s holding up. (“One stump,” Ren answers accurately.) Gem comments on Ren’s brand new facial hair. Gigacorp Ren has been working hard and has had no time to shave.

9:20 Gem thanks subs and donos, then authorizes her mods to ban a chatter who is misbehaving. Ren wishes he could grow a nice beard IRL like Bdubs. Bdubs is of the opinion it is as much a burden as a blessing. He is clearly trying to make Ren feel better. Bdubs and Cleo debate whether Johnny Depp is still a sex symbol. The guys jump in on the side of Johnny Depp. Joel claims that his granddad is a sex symbol and he’s 80. Joe guesses that Joel’s grandfather is Mick Jagger. Cleo doesn’t want to hear about anybody’s grandfather being sexy. Gem is visibly rebooting on her facecam, trying to figure out what has happened to the conversation during her thirty seconds away. She demands to know what they are even talking about. Joel tells her nothing, it’s fine. She begins punching him in the direction of the lava. He sets her on fire. She scolds him for being violent. Chat says nobody should set Gem on fire during pride month.

10:50 Cleo demands to know if there’s actually a way to stop Gem from punching people. Joel says sure, just hit her back (with a fire aspect sword, apparently). Gem says that Joel can, with the heavy implication that she doesn’t believe Cleo has Joel’s skill in hitting back. Ren says this is all a very wholesome start to their evening of base tours. The Hermits gather around the lava pool and demand Xisuma jump in so things can be just like they were in Episode One. Xisuma welcomes everyone to the first mini world tour of the season and jumps in the lava. He catches on fire and is extinguished by the others. They all feel very nostalgic about it. Cleo asks if this means Demise is starting again. Joe says it’s time to go trap Bdubs. Bdubs is unenthusiastic. Gem punches Joel one more time to show she will not be intimidated, and then it is time to go!

11:50 Joe asks what inspired Xisuma’s base design, he says “Stuff I saw on Google.” It’s a loose interpretation of Aztec building design. The garden is the first stop, Gem loves it. They discuss his garden design, which makes use of cherry leaves to drop petals and the new tuff blocks. Cleo critiques the sinister aesthetic of X’s villager farm, but Gem is distracted by a palm tree made of diamond blocks. This was a payment from Keralis, who has too many diamonds. Joel is jealous and complains that nobody is buying his honey, still. He doesn’t have the honeycomb permit and nobody wants honey blocks. Cleo says that they will all buy honey from him now just to stop him complaining about it. Gem does not mind the complaining and heckles Joel about how much better honeycomb is than honey. Bdubs asks why anyone would ever need a whole stack of honey blocks and asks if Joel sells individual blocks. Joel says sure, but they’re six diamonds so you might as well buy the stack for the same price.

14:30 Gem wanders into the storage room and exclaims over the massive wall of brightly-colored shulker boxes. The group has broken up by now. Xisuma leads everyone into the storage room, where they agree with Gem’s initial impression of “_so many_ shulker boxes.”Xisuma explains that behind the extraordinary number of shulker boxes is an extraordinary amount of redstone. He has a shulker unloader and all the boxes are filters to sort into. He also has a shulker box mod that puts a picture of the item on each shulker box, rather than being an enormous blank wall of shulkers like it is to Gem and Chat. He explains a bit more how the system works while the Hermits make an enormous racket opening shulker boxes. Joe asks what a potion of strength is for and why Xisuma is making them. Xisuma has no answers for him.

16:20 Gem wanders away again, down a labyrinth of underground tunnels. Xisuma explains that he wanted to connect the two halves of his base, but he decided to make a twisted and turning tunnel rather than a straight shot. Bdubs appreciates how mazelike it feels. Gem slides down the up side of the honey elevator amd gets stuck, losing track of the others in the process. False and Doc are also stuck, so at least she has company in the claustrophobic space. They figure themselves out and rejoin the group, except for Joel who is stuck in a spiderweb and Doc, who is stuck in the elevator. Now that Gem has figured it out, she loves the honey elevator. Bdubs finds a horse named “Nametag.” Cleo gets stuck in the elevator and declares it broken. The other hermits gather on the roof while Xisuma coaxes Cleo out of the elevator. Gem punches Joe into the elevator shaft but he has figured it out and doesn’t even lodge a protest as he climbs out.

20:10 Xisuma gives up on Cleo and wishes them the best of luck before leading the group on the flying portion of the base tour. Someone, probably Joe, is flying with explosive rockets. Gem exclaims that she has never been to this part of the base before and it is way bigger than she thought it was. It is indeed very large. X says this part is not decorated yet, but it’s for all his autocrafting and tree farms. His combination tree farm/autocrafter can make every different type of wood block. Gem is on the other side of the large space, but the Hermits near the tree-farm area begin uh-ohing as Doc (proprietor of Big Wood) unsheathes his sword. X also shows off his bamboo autocrafting area where he makes mosaic blocks to Bdubs (holder of the bamboo permit) just so he can bother all his friends equally. Bdubs is not impressed, partly because he has a setup like that already and partly because nobody will buy mosaic blocks. Cleo, fresh out of the elevator, says she’s bought some, that she’s been trying to buy stuff off everyone. ((Cleo, the owner of the S-Tier enchanting books permit and the hay bales permit, is somewhere in the top 3 of richest Hermits.)) Bdubs thanks her graciously and says she’s doing a wonderful job. False suggests the reason Xisuma has a diamond block tree is because he doesn’t need to buy anything. Doc heaves a sigh.

22:10 Xisuma wants to make sure to mention that the permits are for selling materials, but if people just want to be given items for free, they can come over here and take what they need. Reactions to this are very mixed, mostly based on who is selling what commodities. Cleo is laughing pretty hard. Doc threatens a lawsuit, which of course segues back into the pig murder saga. Joel interrupts this by killing the horse that has been down in this hole for ages, much to Xisuma’s chagrin. Joel claims it was unavoidable because he got stuck in the water, but Joel’s penchant for horse-murder is well known. Doc tries to use this as proof to Cleo that killing nameless animals in people’s bases is totally normal for this server and they can’t be mad about it, Cleo tells him to come back and say it to their face, see how it goes. Doc decides not to press his luck and demurs, saying Judge Bdubs will decide. Joe has been preparing his arguments and is ready for court! Doc smugly tells Cleo that he’s lawyered up, what do they think about that? Cleo thinks that Doc’s lawyer is very punchable.

23:40 This seems like a good time to move on with the tour. Ren seems like the next closest for a base tour. Ren insists upon full immersion and makes everyone land at X’s base so they can go in through the back door. Cleo says “I don’t want-” and makes some kind of horrible strangled laughing noise even as Bdubs hisses “stop it!” at them. Gem insists that Cleo keep it together, and if they have to say it, they had doggone well better mute first. The whole group is clearly thinking the exact same joke, but nobody else was brave enough to voice it. Ren sighs. Cleo insists that anybody else in the group is allowed to sigh, but not Ren, presumably because this is all his fault and also usually he’d be the first one making the double entendre joke.

24:45 Ren leads the way into the immersive experience of his research base, which is best experienced on foot and with gas masks on, on account of the many extremely toxic gases in the air. Most of the Hermits ignore this warning but Xisuma, the only Hermit who literally has a space helmet as part of his skin, puts on a wolf mask for safety. Ren escorts everyone through the bioscanner that is supposed to detect hostile aliens. Doc plays at not being able to get through the scanner. Cleo suggests killing him and Gem helpfully throws a few punches in his direction. Doc notices Ren’s beard, which he grew during many sleepless nights of researching. Gem admires the many pickles being used in the terraforming, but Cleo points out that Ren will definitely have some kind of alien, non-pickle name to call them by.

25:40 Ren explains that the lore of his base is that it is a pop-up prefab dome placed on many planets and powered by liquid sulfur that is produced by the weird toxic plants that grow up around it. He leads them into the decontamination chamber and shows off the HC10 Lore Capsule, which is full of artifacts from the first stream weekend of the season. He describes his build palette and everyone is actually quiet long enough to listen, up until Gem notices her own heads mounted on the wall of the chamber. Ren is proud of his fighting prowess. Gem admits he is surprisingly good with a trident.

27:50 Ren leads the way to the hangar bay, which doubles as his storage room. Gem is surprised to notice how empty it is, and Ren admits he hasn’t got much stuff in it yet. She is disappointed and says she thought he was so organized. Bdubs points out that it’s easy to organize nothing. Ren shows off the nicely decorated command center and gets a little heckling for his stuffed mailbox. Joel would hate to see what Ren’s email inbox looks like, Ren doesn’t want to talk about it. Everyone admires the computer screens False worked out for Ren’s walls, made of rotated banners on armor stands. Ren apologizes that there is no way out of the hangar bay without flying, so Gem helpfully leaves a scaffold ladder on her way out.

29:50 Ren shows off the microbiomes within his big custom biome, including the fungus-treed Mytreelium Biome. He shows off the “liquid sulfur” lake made of honey blocks. Joel approves heartily and begs people to buy more honey. Gem gamely points out that she can see dirt beneath the honey blocks and it ruins the effect. A deeper lake of honey, maybe even several layers, would surely help. Xisuma finds a little honey-lined cave and jumps in to investigate before realizing he can’t get out. He warns the others not to jump down there. Gem instantly attempts to punch Joel into the honey. Ren points out his mud farm and his stonemasons. The Hermits are very upset about the living conditions for the stonemasons, who do not have gas masks. Ren admits that the civilians here do not have a very long life expectancy. He points out the outer wall and explains that it exists to contain the infection of alien biome on the outside world. “Please come and visit The Infection!” Cleo quips.

32:30 Ren’s favorite part of his base is the exploration truck, which has featured in many of his livestreams already. The Hemits really like the truck. Gem and Joel immediately hop into the cockpit and pretend to drive it, complete with engine noises. When they try to rejoin the tour and see the lounge, Ren scolds them for not driving. Getting out of the truck is harder than getting it, and Joel and Gem both plaster themselves against the door thanks to Doc fiddling with the lever. Everybody likes Ren’s base.

35:00 False is suggested as the next base for touring. She starts her tour at the bridge, where her own severed head is welcoming people. Joel says it’s creepy, she points out that it’s fairly tame compared to what was in Ren’s base. Skizz joins the tour a bit late and tags along. Gem appreciates the decorative melons. False remembers to ask Joel to please not kill her rabbit. She shows off her armor stand work, which Joel interprets as “a child who is also a blast furnace” but is actually a small robot interacting with a potter. Doc makes a reference to the movie Ghost that is enough of a reach that even the Hermits old enough to remember Ghost (1990) don’t get it until he explains it. This is going to be a market area with more armor stand work on the way, according to False.

37:10 It turns out False’s base is much bigger on the inside than it appeared, with multiple layers full of storage and farms. Gem is impressed by the size of the place, though False points out that it’s less impressive after seeing Xisuma’s monstrosity. False’s base does have the advantage of looking less like an enormous hole in the ground, though. Her farms are nicely organized and separated by catwalks. The Hermits are impressed. Doc tries to beg a torchflower off False, but she is firm that he should buy them at the flower shop. Bdubs, obviously familiar with the medium, asks False if she regrets using so much copper in the build. She admits she has had to call Xisuma a few times in a panic because she doesn’t have enough copper blocks for her roof. Bdubs understands completely, but also agrees copper is worth it because it is so beautiful. Joel falls off a catwalk with a scream, Gem is immediately inspired to try and punch Doc in as well. Gem just does, like, so much punching when she is in a group.

39:00 Gem adjusts the volume on Skizz, who is nearly inaudible in the continuing vocal scrum. Xisuma realizes that Skizz is wearing the arrow-through-the-head hat and is amused and impressed. False leads the way to her next building, with Joel and Bdubs passing judgment on her excessive use of copper trapdoors (a judgment clearly motivated by envy). False admits to transitioning to jungle wood for part of the build to save on copper, but it’s still a lot of copper. Joel sounds like he’s about ready to cry, imagining all the copper blocks sacrificed to make what is admittedly a very large amount of copper trapdoors. Chat is worried because they can’t hear Skizz, but Skizz is not talking and there’s nothing Gem can do about that. ((Skizz addressed this in his own stream later, saying he was mostly quiet during the base tour because he likes watching other people interact. He does the same thing at parties.))

40:30 Gem loves all the nooks and crannies in False’s base. False intends to add more paths and bridges, and that she hopes people will be able to get lost in her base. Joel says a lot of bases are like that this season, especially Ren’s once he expands that honey river (hint, hint.) False tells him to wait til he sees the new river she is going to install there. Chat is still hung up on the fact that Skizz’s voice chat icon keeps lighting up when he is not talking, and they are not taking “noise gate issue” for an answer. Gem begins punching him to try and get a verbal reaction from him. He fast-crouches at her instead, which is unhelpful. She asks him flat-out if he is talking and he says no, he’s just listening. Chat is appeased, for now.

42:10 Cleo’s base is next on the tour. Before they go, Xisuma asks Joe if today’s date for the tour is significant in any way, like the server being however many months old or something. Joe says no, it’s just a summer kickoff base tour to see progress. Watchers who have been busy with school exams or joining up for summer can see what’s going on. Cleo once again starts their tour on a bridge, but unlike Ren’s toxic air or False’s severed head, this one’s got a gun! The hermits want to know why Cleo’s got a gun, but Cleo says it’s very important to be prepared. The Hermits declare Cleo to be a doomsday prepper. Cleo leads the way down into their mine, a place Doc obviously associates with unpleasant memories. ((Doc and Cleo are embroiled in a court case over an incident where Doc killed Cleo’s special pig down in this mine.))

44:00 Xisuma asks if they’ve gone past the part where the big hole was. The group arrives at the big hole. Gem immediately punches Cleo into the big hole. Why is Gem like this? No one knows. Joel asks Cleo why she has a big hole. Cleo begins “Well, Joel…” and is immediately shouted down by the other Hermits. Why are any of them like this? No one knows. Cleo says there will eventually be a monster down at the bottom of the hole, when Sodium pulls itself together and fixes its glass lighting bugs. The monster will have huge glowing eyes. Joel asks why the guns on the bridge are pointed at Iskall, rather than down this hole. “Wouldn’t you point a gun at Iskall?” Cleo asks reasonably. Gem agrees that Iskall does seem more dangerous. The others agree. Joel is new, he will learn. Xisuma asks Cleo if they didn’t build a huge monster at the bottom of a hole back in Season II. Cleo’s answer amounts to “what are you, a cop?” but basically there is no connection. Bdubs theorizes that it speaks to something psychological. Cleo admits that big holes are their brand and have been for the past thirteen years.

45:15 Cleo gives everyone permission to leave their hole. Joe is still flying with explosive rockets, which seems painful. Joel sets Gem on fire again but does put her out with a bucket of water. Cleo advises anyone staying behind to watch out for wardens. Ren likes the mineshaft. Joel compliments the length of the shaft, then takes refuge in context. Chat is not fooled, but they are amused. Cleo leads the way into the Engineer’s House which is the heart of their base at the moment. Gem loves Cleo’s corkboard-backed workbench a lot. Bdubs wants to see it real bad, but he is still stuck in the mine. Skizz wanders off into a protected area and is hauled back, but he’s not streaming so no one sees anything.

46:50 Joel notices Cleo’s shop trophies and is impressed and appalled that anyone has made 750 diamonds from their shops. Cleo tell him she has made 2272 diamonds from her shops. Cleo has the S-Tier Books permit and the surprise hit Hay Bales permit and has been doing extremely well for herself. Joel remarks that this is 27 times the amount he has made from his shops. False asks if this means they are getting paid to go on this tour. Cleo asks if she wants some pity diamonds because she will give her pity diamonds. False will always accept pity diamonds. Cleo shows off the storage area. Ren spends a lot of time in here, both because he likes the way running on copper grate floor sounds and also just to steal stuff. Cleo’s armor stand work and decoration in the engineer’s house is on-point, as always. The other Hermits are visibly and audibly mining the house for ideas.

49:00 Bdubs wants to ask a question. He wants to know if Cleo does kitbashing stuff at home. Cleo does not know what kitbashing is, but agrees that it sounds right once it is explained. They lead the way to the wizard’s tower, where a demon may or may not be being summoned. Being Hermits, Gem and the others are unable to resist the lure of trapdoor floors and get stuck in the crawlspace for a moment, but are quickly distracted by the very unearthly-looking creature Cleo has put together in the demon-summoning circle. It is mostly made of skulk, with large flint-and-steel claws, and has a skulk sensor for a mouth. The skulk sensor’s fronds are still gently waving, which makes everything ten times more disturbing. The Hermits are full of delighted disgust for the creature and admiration for the twisted workings of Cleo’s mind. False is not visiting Cleo anymore. Someone asks what its name is, and a brief workshopping session yields “FredJeff.” Gem’s more reasonable suggestion of Jeffred is ignored. Everyone also likes the eyes and parts in jars on Cleo’s shelves. It’s really a very disturbing room. Skizz asks why the compass on the wall is going nuts (It is a recovery compass, labeled a “Magus Reality Compass”) and Cleo tells him it is a reality compass and reality is very thin here. Everyone mocks Skizz for not knowing what a magus reality compass is.

52:50 Gem sees people going onto the balcony and immediately punches Joel off it. They fight briefly and are distracted by the cake-juggling robot on Cleo’s roof. Joe injures himself with another explosive rocket. Gem runs back and forth along the rooflines until finally she sees someone standing close to an edge. She punches False off the roof and is momentarily satisfied. Ren is disturbed by a terrible noise, it is Joe drinking honey because flying with exploding rockets and recovering by drinking honey is all part of the Joe Hills Difference. Joe does specify that he bought the honey from Keralis, probably just to rub it in for Honey-Block Joel.

54:40 Skizz’s base is the next spot on the tour, so the group heads off to his ominous partial-pyramid and mouth-shaped base. Someone notes that it’s Pearl’s birthday. Ren asks if it wasn’t Pearl’s birthday yesterday? Gem explains that both things are true because Time Zones. The group agrees that if Pearl joins the group, they must sing to her. Joe immediately invites her to join the voice group. Pearl messages back that her inventory was a mess, but she is heading over. Skizz lands the grounp in his front yard and explains, somewhat wearily, that it has become a whole thing for him that he saves any gift he is given, including bizarre lawn art. He also has a wall of presents in item frames inside his base. Impulse gave him poop to put on the wall. Chat jokes that Gem is trying not to fangirl over the Eefo (Skizz’s guess-the-build Etho) statue on the lawn.

55:45 Most of Skizz’s efforts so far have been on the pyramid, trying to make a near-impossible maze to challenge their ability to survive. He invites anybody who wants to to strip naked and try to survive. Joel is interested, but intimdated. Skizz says he’s very forward on his dates. Chat has seen Pearl join the voice chat and is very excited to wish her happy birthday again. The other Hermits encourage Joel to strip down and get on with it. Joel asks if he’s going to die, Skizz tells him “Most definitely.” That’s okay, Cleo brought a bed along.

56:30 The next section of the tour is a radio play, with Gem wandering through the exterior of the maze and listening as Joel and Ren try to navigate the dangerous maze. Ren dies almost immediately. Joel lasts a bit longer, but they both die to the magma blocks. False didn’t enter the maze but still somehow falls in a hole and gets stuck. With both contestants dead, Skizz explains a little bit of the maze, how this layer is just about physical survival and getting to the next level. Gem finds Pearl and, of course, punches her. Everyone wishes Pearl Happy Birthday. There is a truly horrifying rendition of the birthday song from all the assembled Hermits as Pearl dodges more punches and probably reevaluates some life choices. Chat is amused and horrified all at once. Pearl gamely declares it beautiful.

59:50 Because it is her birthday, Pearl decides that the next activity is hitting the fish block. The other hermits join in except for Gem, who prefers to punch Pearl some more. Joel punches Gem and tells her that it’s Pearl’s birthday, let her slap the salmon. Gem thinks it sounds weird when you say it like that. Bdubs tells Skizz he should call the pyramid Decked Out 3. Everyone laughs as Skizz vehemently says he would never do that. He asks Pearl if everyone has seen Wordle. Joe points out that Pearl might well be the next stop on the server tour! Pearl demurs, saying she’s just waking up, and Bdubs tells her it’s her birthday so she doesn’t have to do a tour if she doesn’t want to. Gem sneaks away from the group and posts a sign saying “dECKED OUT 3” over the door to the pyramid.

1:00:40 Cleo points out that what Pearl seems to want to do is jump into fire and berry bushes, based on her current behavior. If no Pearl tour that means Gem is next, being Skizz’s next-door neighbor and all. ((It is not entirely clear whether Skizz started talking Wordle to avoid having to show off his massive and embarrassing chest monster next, but nonetheless it worked really well.)) Gem is glad to do her base tour before Joel’s. Joel asks why but she doesn’t want to have to pay him a compliment out loud so just says her base isn’t quite finished. She leads the group into the Collector’s House and talks about how her base is inspired by the video game Dredge.

1:01:20 Gem shows off her fighting arena, but admits she hasn’t fought anyone in awhile. Joel asks if she wants to fight and she says no. This is clearly a lie since at one hour into this stream her Hermits Punched count stands at 13, mostly Joel. “She’s hungry,” Pearl observes. “Back out,” Bdubs advises. The other Hermits back up rapidly into the viewing area, leaving Gem alone in the middle of the arena, laughing. False notices that Ren has not left the sands and is in fact standing there with no armor. “Ren’s volunteered!” she observes. Ren agrees, saying that he will fight Gem, but the weapon of choice will be fish. Gem is unsure about all this, but agrees to fight so long as Ren gets her a fish too. He dives into the water, presumably to collect some fish. Gem sets her spawn.

1:02:00 Ren comes back with fish and sets his spawn as well. Skizz asks if this is going to be a thirty minute battle, then? Joel insists Gem remove her armor. Armed with raw salmon, Gem and Ren engage in a fish-slap battle to the death, witnessed by a third of the server. Gem starts very strong but her usual tactics don’t work too well in a fight without critical hits or weapon damage and Ren defeats her after a protracted battle. It’s an upset, Chat and the watching Hermits are all stunned. Ren admits that the whole thing was a Mission Possible quest. He needed to fish slap someone to death. Ren offers to let Gem kill him and she does not hesitate to do so, plunking his head-trophy down onto the sand.

1:03:40 Gem decides it is time to move on with the tour. Chat is teasing her about being as washed up as Etho, but they are also pleased to have acquired a rare Gigacorp Ren head for the collection. She shows off the anglerfish-shaped fish market and the horsin’ tunnel. False and Cleo have a low-voiced conversation in the background over whether a fixture in the shop is a toilet or just a box. Gem admits she doesn’t have many of the spooky organic elements added to her build yet, those will come later, but Chat wants her to show off her pineapple farm. She leads the way to her decorative patch of “pineapples” that are all Tango heads with armor-stand ferns on them. The Hermits are impressed and creeped out. Bdubs admits he didn’t know pineapples grew out of the ground. Gem shows the group down to her storage room, then shows off her power lines. Pearl plays the “That’s amazing!” horn. Gem demands she put it away, Pearl absolutely refuses.

1:06:00 Gem shows off her new mangrove trees, along the path that will one day lead towards Etho’s base. She explains the strange red rune that will one day play a creepy heartbeat when approached (and explains that this is also not Decked Out 3), and then it is time to go see Joel’s base. Joel’s base is extremely impressive from the sky and the Hermits are exclaiming over it before they even land. Skizz mutters that it feels just great living right next to him. Joel has somehow never noticed the sign left over from the Permit Trials on the chest of his Joel statue, but he sees it now.

1:07:00 Joel stands under his front gate and welcomes everyone to his Japanese cyberpunk-inspired base. He’s terraformed “a bit” of the mountain to make it look better. The first thing everyone needs to see is definitely his little shrine to the Ocean Goddess and her consort, which is of course a statue of Ocean Queen Lizzie and King Joel of Mezalea from Season One of the Empires SMP. Joel’s internet is terrible but his armor stand work is excellent and the statue is quite impressive. Cleo tells him the statue is very cute, and he agrees and says it is because he is adorable. He leads the way up into the city, where a beautiful facade conceals a very utilitarian villager breeder. Gem begins flipping trapdoors. Joel’s city aesthetic is cute little buildings separated by very narrow alleys, so the place is soon full of disoriented Hermits wandering around and trying to find the group. Joel shows off highlights like his mailbox and a fishtank that doesn’t have any fish in it yet. In a little restaurant off the beaten path, Bdubs finds a horse head and gets very upset about Joel’s continuing history of horse murder. Joel says it wasn’t him.

1:10:00 Xisuma asks how many rooms are in this build, Joel can’t even begin to guess. He says probably quite a lot, which seems accurate. Ren wonders, of all the blocks in Minecraft, how many of them have already been incorporated into this city. Joel says he’s trying to use as many as possible to add color and life to the city. He shows off his axolotl tank and the office where he grows his glowberries. He tells the group that, for the benefit of whoever bought out all his glowberry stock, there is more available now. Skizz cheerfully admits he did it for a Mission Possible. Joel thinks that’s a great mission and tells him he should do it again. He has a squid tank and a cactus farm and a tiny little storage room that he is already outgrowing. Pearl doesn’t understand how he can stay organized in such a small storage room. Gem theorizes that he uses every block he acquires so he doesn’t have to store it. Joel admits that there are blocks stored everywhere in random decorative barrels, completely disorganized. Pearl groans in disappointment. Ren and Skizz have found the jacuzzi bath and jumped in for a soak, which is entirely against base tour etiquette. Joel tells them that the water in that tub hasn’t been changed since episode 3, so maybe they shouldn’t be bathing in it at this point.

1:12:00 Ren tries to eat a carrot and accidentally steals a plant from a pot. False yells at him about it. Gem flips a bunch more trapdoors, apparently because she likes the noise. Someone pushes a button and activates the doorbell that Cub made for Joel. Joel shows the way to his honey farm, musing aloud about how awesome honey is and how great it would be if the Hermits decided to buy a lot of it. Ren asks how Joel manages inventory without losing his mind, given his massive build palette. Joel cheerfully admits he loses his mind. Gem confirms this by finding the walls covered in signs reading “BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.” Bdubs says it’s like A Beautiful Mind. Joel hates the bees, they are annoying, they produce honey and it doesn’t sell. More Hermits should buy honey. “Good job making a sucky product!” Bdubs tells him (or possibly the bees, it’s hard to say.) Chat points out that Xisuma has taken off the wolf mask and is now wearing Gem’s head.

1:13:30 Joel shows off a few more buildings, all of them empty, and admits that’s basically it. He is roundly mocked for that phrasing after showing off his massive and intricate build. He remembers one more thing he wants to show off and leads everyone to the bar. Bdubs asks if there are more horse heads down there and Joel says definitely not. The Hermits are very impressed by the bar, which includes lava walls covered by trapdoors that create glowing designs. Bdubs finds a horse head and starts yelling again. Joel says that’s not his. Pearl points out that Bdubs has murdered plenty of horses this season and Bdubs claims he would never murder a horse. Pearl demands to see his statistics. He says his are broken. Everyone agrees that the build is amazing. Pearl is glad Joel used purpur. Bdubs and Ren ask about the beacon beam, which is candy striped; Joel came up with the idea himself and it is made of stained glass.

1:16:10 It’s Pearl’s time to shine! Joel wants to get a look at Wordle. Pearl points out it’s not at her base, but they can visit it after. She leads the way to her base and starts everyone at her little truck, explaining the lore of her solarpunk base for the season. This truck in particular crafts a button every day and every night, letting her know how long her chunks have been loaded. Etho signs on. Chat is _very_ excited. Pearl leads the way over to her enchanting area while Gem hisses to Chat to stop being such fangirls. Chat will never stop. Pearl shows off the maps on the walls, Ren points out that the maps are not accurate to current time. Pearl explains that they are to show off the history of the neighborhood as it gets built up, and the other Hermits roundly heckle him for not getting that. Bdubs tells him to “Go back to your sulfur mines, you freak,” then apologizes for going too far. Pearl is stunned that everyone used her doors correctly for the first time. Abashed, Gem goes back and flips all the trapdoors.

1:18:30 Pearl shows off her farming, complete with solar-powered irrigation system. Nighttime is coming, so Bdubs deploys his bed, only to have Pearl mine it out from under him. He graciously forgives her because it’s her birthday, but someone else picked up his bed and he needs it back. Ren deploys the bed and sleeps on it, stealing the night while Bdubs sputters. Pearl next takes the group to her starter base and its horrifying doorbell. Pearl has been doing some armor stand work in here and is happy to show off to Cleo, who declares it adorable and cute. Pearl leads the way down to her storage room and its pillager-head-on-a-noteblock that quickly overwhelms everyone’s audio. Etho has joined up with the tour now and Chat is begging Gem to punch him. They believe he came late to avoid obsession allegations at Gem and Joel’s bases.

1:20:30 Cleo tells Pearl she’s going to steal the idea of leather helmets for stools because it is so good. Pearl shows the group her bedroom and Gem attacks the many available trapdoors. Bdubs likes the scale Pearl is using, with three block ceilings that make a more naturalistic environment for people used to nine foot ceilings IRL. Cleo agrees they would like it if there were less of them in there, because having so many Hermits in one bedroom is definitely turning the vibe from coziness to claustrophobia. Pearl shows off her stables and mailbox and some more farming stuff, Gem flips more trapdoors. Pearl acknowledges that she sees what Gem is doing. Pearl is building a solarium for her sniffers and allay, then takes everyone to the purpur farm. It’s very cool-looking and everyone is impressed. Pearl insists on stopping in the middle of the tour so she can collect up the arrows and replant the farm. Bdubs says that is very rude and Joe scolds him for it because it is Pearl’s birthday. Bdubs reluctantly agrees.

1:24:50 Pearl shows the furnace array/bamboo farm Tango helped her build. She points out that her farm makes bamboo planks to put in the furnaces, so she still buys her bamboo from Bdubs. Bdubs is quite pleased about this, but Etho scoffs and says that’s much too expensive, she might as well be burning her diamonds. Pearl also shows off her casual-flex chandeliers, which are made of beacons she bought at Ren’s shop. Etho asks if there is a discount for beacons bought solely for lighting, Ren says there is not. Doc, who has so many diamonds this season that he is using them for redstone building blocks, mocks Etho for being a cheapskate. Gem asks Pearl to show off the pickles in the trees and advertise her shops too. Pearl is pleased to show off her pickle-festooned trees. She has six or seven stacks of pickles spread through her trees for lighting purposes. Joe asks what the white rocket-shaped things are, Pearl explains they are wind generators for a solarpunk world. She also has a copper and cherry watermill generating more imaginary power. Bdubs mentions how much he likes the “apple trees”, custom trees built with berry bushes in them to simulate fruit trees. Joel mentions there are a ton of beacons in this base, and Ren must be really rich. Cleo laughs and suggests maybe Ren should buy honey. Joe says he also buys a ton of beacons, so Ren must be doing really well. Ren thanks him for his patronage but is noncommittal about buying honey.

1:29:30 The Hermits debate who to visit next. Etho is the closest, Gem celebrates this fact by punching him. Etho suggests Tango, but Tango is not participating in the server tour. Etho protests that he shouldn’t be asked to follow Pearl’s beautiful base. Nevertheless, he is next (Wordle has apparently been forgotten for the moment) and he insists everyone must walk up the path to his base instead of flying. He needs to stretch this out as much as he can because there’s not that much to look at. In that spirit, he narrates the whole walk along the path, including the broken guardian farm, the sheep farm, the trident farm, and a nice view of Pearl’s base. He asks Gem to demonstrate the trident farm. She does so, impressing the assembled Hermits who have no idea how Etho isolated trident drowned. Joel nearly dies to the farm while Gem harvests two tridents in less than a minute. Etho offers to show everyone how it actually works, but that’s a lot of hermits to stuff into the redstone of a farm. They move on instead.

1:31:50 Etho leads the way to the main house as Gem cheerfully asks him if he’s put the roof on yet. Cleo can see the sky through the windows, so probably not. Etho admits that the roof is not quite exactly finished yet. He disappears into the house, leaving the Hermits outside. Doc asks if he’s quickly building a roof before he lets everyone in. Cleo and Gem both admire the exterior decorations, full of pink glazed terracotta and potted plants. Gem tells him he’s so cottagecore and it’s really nice. Etho lets them into the house, still roofless. Cleo asks what all the books on the chiseled bookshelves are. He explains that he keeps every book he gets and puts them on the bookshelves. Gem flips a lot of trapdoors and finds a fox named Sly in the back garden. Etho shows off his high-tech storage system, which is wired to show more or fewer bookshelves based on what enchanting level is wanted. Pearl correctly susses out how the redstone is done and is congratulated by Cleo for being officially a redstoner.

1:33:53 Etho leads the way down into his storage system, which is accessed by a drop chute elevator built into the grassy ground. Bdubs says that Joel will be very pleased by the décor, which is chock full of honey blocks, but Joel bitterly complains that Etho didn’t actually buy any from his store. Etho protests that Joel _gave_ him those honey blocks, sent them to him in the mail and everything. Joel reluctantly admits he did do that, yes. It’s more than he sent, though. Etho quietly admits that he does have a honey farm. Pearl comments that Etho’s ceiling has a lot of items in it and he says yes, it’s part of his storage system. He pauses for a moment, obviously trying to decide if there is any way to explain even the basics of his complex but understated storage system to the assembled group, then tell them that it’s too much to explain right now. “Too complicated for us simple-minded people,” Joel translates. “Too complicated for a tour,” Etho offers diplomatically. He shows his dispensing stations for common items like rockets, then leads the way down a plain stone tunnel to his moss farm. The drop is a little more extreme than advertised and Ren dies from the fall. Fs in the chat for Ren. Ren asks “Why me” and is reminded that he’s not wearing armor and thus lacking useful thinks like feather falling.

1:35:40 Etho’s moss farm is a big operation. Bdubs insists they should all go down into the farm, it’s cool down in there. Bdubs is clearly missing his moss shop this season. Gem gets a quick look at the farm before going back to the viewing platform to help Joel collect Ren’s bits and pieces. Pearl complains that huge farms like this are the reason she is not selling any bone blocks or bonemeal this season. Etho asks Gem if she wants to see how fast he can get moss with this farm. She says no because it’ll just make her mad. Joe eagerly chimes in that he wants to see Gem get mad. Etho shows Gem where to stand to catch moss from the farm and pulls the lever to convert away from bonemeal collection. In less than a minute, Gem’s inventory has more than ten stacks of moss in it. She mutters “Oh my god” a bunch of times in despairing disbelief. Cleo tells her it’s okay to cry. Gem’s pockets overflow and she starts yelling at Etho to turn it off. She has two moss farms and neither of them work anything like this. Etho generously asks if anyone else needs moss, Gem yells that nobody needs his moss! Chat is fangirling hard again, as per usual. Several Hermits ignore Gem’s warning and go for the moss; she sets them on fire with her sword. Joe dies of it, though it is not clear whether he was actually trying to get moss or just an unfortunate bystander to a sweeping edge sword.

1:38:00 Joe respawns, apologizing for the mess and explaining that somebody stabbed him to death. Gem defends herself saying she said she would get mad. Joe sighs and agrees that was probably on him, Cleo protests that moss-collecting is not an appropriate motive for murder. Gem is glad that Joe is taking responsibility for his actions. Joe points out that he is the one who said he wanted to see Gem get mad. He got to see with more than his eyes, he saw with his own burning flesh and that’s on him. Chat feels sorry for Joe. Ren is trying to collect his lost bits and pieces, he collects a sword called “Friendship Blade” that is not his. Joe confirms that is his sword, a gift from Cleo. Cleo remembers giving Joe that blade because he was fighting monsters with an iron sword inappropriately late into the season, she is surprised he still carries it. Bdubs, Joe and Doc remain in the list of bases to tour. Joe arrives and collects his own scattered items.

1:40:00 Leaving the moss farm is almost as dangerous as entering it, since the only way in is “Rocket onto a ladder.” The Hermits manage the feat one by one and land on the grass outside. Gem asks Etho to work on that. Cleo asks what is wrong with him. Etho smugly claims that the best thing about his base is that it teaches one how to play Minecraft. Cleo insists that she doesn’t need to learn Minecraft, she does it professionally already. Etho suggests that if someone is unable to get up the ladder, it may be a skill issue. Cleo wants Etho to know that she hates him. Chat loves sassy Etho. The group heads for Bdubs’ base, aiming to land in front of the forest. While they go, they complain about the price of ender chests and everything in the shopping district. Everything is so expensive this season. Gem insists that pickles are cheap. It is unclear why Gem is shilling pickles so hard when she hates Pearl buying them so much. Joe still can’t find his pants. Gem approaches Bdubs’ forest and exclaims over how beautiful it is. She is not wrong.

1:41:40 The group lands in front of the bridge onto Bdubs’ base. Ren asks if they need to change render distances or other visual effects since Bdubs’ base, more than any other Hermit’s, is designed as a visual spectacle. Bdubs recommends setting render distance to 28, so it’s a good thing there are some powerful computers at work here. Brightness also needs to be down to get the real atmosphere. Bdubs leads the way into the forest as he explains he’s trying to focus on terraforming and atmosphere rather than only on buildings this season. Gem coos over a rustic picnic table made of trapdoors. Pearl plays the “That’s amazing!” horn. Gem punches her several times. Xisuma laughs over the fact that Bdubs’ trees are massive, bespoke pieces of art and the Hermits are still drawn to the picnic table first. Gem is so impressed by the picnic table that she doesn’t even flip the trapdoors.

1:43:00 The tour continues into an open space that Bdubs plans to fill with additional forest eventually. Gem tells Bdubs it’s very cottagecore, Bdubs decides he will allow it. He was fighting it at first, but finally he’s accepted it. Joe points out that the actual cottage he built pretty much sealed the deal. He takes the Hermits to his initial starter base, which he only uses for cooking anymore. Cleo finds a memorial marked February 16 and asks what that’s about; it is the date of Bdubs’ Demise death. He says “they” exploded him, Ren corrects him saying “technically you exploded you.” Bdubs has to admit that this is true. He shows the group the silos with his moss farm and bamboo farms. Doc asks if there’s a reason that Bdubs has the most uncomfortable pathways known to Minecraft. (Bdubs’ current paths are rudimentary at best, scattered path blocks and no slabs to soften height changes.) Cleo says it’s obviously for the aesthetics, Bdubs agrees it’s all form, no function. Everyone takes a quick look at the redstone farm inside the silo and then goes back outside to debate the aesthetics involved in putting wood blocks or dirt blocks under wooden path slabs. Gem says she gets yelled at for her slabs all the time, both in the comments and from her own mod team. The mods give themselves mod hearts in the chat.

1:45:40 Bdubs takes everyone into the silo and shows off his bamboo-item-creating machine. It is a structure made entirely of Bdubs’ Perfect Redstone, so while it does work as intended, it has no labels and is somewhat difficult to understand. The cottagecore cottage is actually Bdubs’ mailbox, and Gem declares it gorgeous. The terracotta production area is up next, immediately drawing a “Booooooo” from False and heckling from the others. ((Bdubs holds the plain terracotta permit and is part of the Short-T Alliance, working with Scar and his six terracotta permits to undermine and counter the activities of “Big T,” the Hermit consortium who control the other nine terracotta permits. False, Ren, Cleo and Xisuma are all members of Big T.)) Bdubs tells them to shut up and shows off his organic terracotta production facility where he turns dirt into mud and then dries it on dripstone into clay, then smelts it into terracotta. Even his enemies are impressed by the sheer amount of effort Bdubs is putting int when he could just be digging up terracotta. He explains that his autosmelter is powered by half-slabs generated by his bamboo farm. It’s very inefficient and he does not recommend it. The same could undoubtedly be said of the whole operation, but everyone is too polite to mention that.

1:48:50 Bdubs decides that’s everything he has available to show right now. Cleo loves how everyone is ending their tour with “And that’s just it, I guess!” Xisuma is impressed about the difference in tone and texture keeping brightness at 30 causes. He feels like he’s been missing out and wants to look at other builds in the dimness now. Etho says his build is five times bigger when viewed at brightness 30. Gem asks if it gets a roof as well. He says yes. Chat is going nuts because Bdubs didn’t show everyone his waterfall. Xisuma asks if keeping brightness at 30 makes caving difficult. Bdubs says no, because he doesn’t do that sort of scary thing. Gem gives in to the overwhelming will of Chat and asks Bdubs “Where’s your waterfall?” Bdubs leads the group back to the bridge while explaining about the glass waterfall he built while testing whether it was possible to simulate water textures without water. This waterfall is not meant to be viewed close up and should be looked at from the bridge. Doc, who is already standing on the bridge, claims to be the only Hermit who watches other peoples’ videos. The waterfall really is very striking when viewed from the bridge. The Hermits are very impressed. Chat is pleased. Etho hypes Bdubs up a bit by pointing out that the grass in the forest is not bonemealed, it was harvested and hand-placed by Bdubs while he was building. Cleo says yeah, but that’s because Bdubs is a nerd. Bdubs makes fun of the way Cleo pronounces “nerd” but does not deny it.

1:51:00 Now that Chat has seen the waterfall, the group is free to fly up and over the forest towards Joe’s base. Joe is easy to follow because he is still flying with exploding fireworks and has a big green eruption behind him every few seconds. He does have his blast protection pants back (Cleo had them) so he can survive the flight. They pass Mumbo’s witch farm on the right (or starboard, Joe adds, for people like Gem and Joel who prefer flying spacecraft) and begin to approach the base. It’s spawning in slowly for Gem, but it is clearly massive. Joe explains that what he is building is a 1:1 scale recreation of the Bell Laboratories Research and Development campus in Holmdell, New Jersey. As Joe explains some of the technical specifications of his very specific building plans, Gem and the other Hermits fly around and take in the enormous scope of the area Joe has dug out and is terraforming. Gem apologizes to chat for the Bobby Mod taking its sweet time; she has not been out to Joe’s base in quite awhile and it is very different now. Joe has a lot of beacons up (he tells Ren he’s welcome for the business) and has mined up over a million stone blocks to turn what was once a mountain range into a canvas for development. He has been learning a lot about geometry and also a lot about reading out loud, since he’s been reading Moby Dick on stream for the benefit of his chat while mining on stream most nights. Gem’s chat is impressed by the massive scope of the project unfolding. Joe explains that he doesn’t have any proper buildings yet, and for the moment his storage system consists of themed groupings of chests set up around each beacon. It is easy to find each beacon when he needs something, so long as he can remember what stuff is stored where. Gem lands for a moment and gets punched by Pearl. She punches Pearl back and they both start flying again.

1:52:50 Joe explains that his build is not nearly as detailed as many of the other Hermits’ builds, but it is very large and he hopes it will be useful as a canvas for other Hermits as well as himself. He’s noticed in previous seasons that as the season goes on and Hermits get locked into their base projects, there is less room for creative projects that do not fit within the scope of whatever they have decided to build. The Holmdell campus has plenty of room for Hermit projects of all different types and sizes. Cub has already marked out a place for a labyrinth that he’ll be starting work on soon. Joe also wants to hold workshops where Hermits can teach one another specific skills like creating vehicles or building facade techniques. He suggests that maybe Cleo will teach armor stand classes because she keeps saying she wants people not to have her build every armor stand on the server. Cleo points out that a lot of Hermits are already doing much better on that front this season. Joe agrees with that and says he is hoping his base area will be a community center in the mid to late season. Chat is very on board with Joe’s ideas and wants to subscribe to his newsletter.

1:55:20 By the end of Joe’s speech, most of the Hermits have settled onto various perches near one another, twenty or thirty blocks off the ground. Etho asks Joe if he regrets doing this project in a mountain biome, now that he’s dug it out. Joe says no, but only because he’s decided to not have regrets. Cleo cackles. Joe explains that this region was the closest area to spawn he could get at the size that he needed, and he will just continue doubling down on that decision until he has octupled down on it. Etho notices the froglights and says they look absolutely incredible. People should not be sleeping on froglights. (Etho, of course, holds the froglight permit.) Joel chimes in saying that all the water around here might turn into ice, but you know what doesn’t turn into ice? Honey. Joe agrees and says he surrounded the entire central lagoon with stairs so that it won’t freeze. Etho is impressed. Gem bets some pickles in there would help. Joe says he was kind of hoping a few Hermits might volunteer to do some terraforming around the lagoon, and that rather than being entirely an area for people to do solo projects, people might have fun working in groups or doing terraforming and landscape lessons. Etho listens patiently to all this and then asks “So you’re telling me that if I put a single block in this lagoon, the whole thing will turn to ice?”

1:57:00 Joe confirms that this is true, leading to laughter and calls for the pranking to begin. Joe goes on to point out that even removing or changing one of the source blocks in the lagoon could trigger an icecapade. Chat is terrified at all the potential here. “And you really don’t regret building here?” Gem asks again. Joe is cool with it. He’s living his best life out here, it’s just that his best life looks terrifying to a lot of people. Bdubs asked if Joe knew already that stairs would stop the freezing, or if he had to do the science on that. It seems like very obscure knowledge. Joe describes the rather arduous-sounding process of figuring out how to ice proof a lake, and is interrupted by Cleo asking if they put a block into the lake, how would the ice actually generate? Joe, in true best-life-Joe-Hills fashion, offers to show everyone how it looks. He and Etho both place blocks into the lagoon. Cleo is clearly very disappointed that the ice doesn’t appear and spread instantly, instead generating slowly from the place where the source blocks were disrupted. But eventually, if the blocks are left in place, the whole surface will freeze. Joe tells everyone that he hopes to have the campus open in a month or so, then admits he’s been saying that for the last couple of months. He justifies himself by pointing at a cluster of pumpkins floating high overhead and explaining those are where the surface of the mountain used to be. He’s had a lot to do.

1:59:40 Joe is finished with his tour, so he goes to pass the reins over to Doc. Bdubs interrupts by mentioning a visual glitch he is seeing where things far away are rendering strangely. Xisuma immediately wants to know more. Other Hermits report seeing the same thing, but Gem does not see it with her particular mod combination. As the sun sets, Joe invites the Hermits to take a look at the base from the sky, with the froglights illuminating all the roads. It’s a beautiful sight, looking a little bit like an airport at night and going a long way to highlight what an enormous project this is and just how much work Joe has been doing. Joe is also lucky that Etho has the froglight and stone permits, and has traded massive amounts of froglights for Joe’s massive amounts of stone.

2:02:00 The group head for Joe’s portal to make the long trek to Doc’s base. Joel mentions that the brightness of the froglights looks so much better at lower brightness and that he needs to start keeping his own brightness down. Bdubs agrees, but warns that his own brightness level is the result of years worth of acclimating his viewers to accept the dimness. Last season he was only at 50%, this season he has gone full mood lighting. Joel says he’s just going straight in, cold turkey. Gem points out that Joel does not have a history of being particularly nice to his chat, if one has watched his intros. It takes awhile to get everyone through the portal, due to too much pushing and shoving, but eventually they all make it through and follow Doc north through the nether. They arrive at Doc’s portal, which is surrounded by ominous-looking machines. “Why do I feel like you have a plan for vengeance right now?” Bdubs asks plaintively.

2:03:00 Doc insists her is not planning anything, this is just a bunch of random machines. Here is the honey farm, here is the cannon that shoots people to the world border, here is the warden transport system, etc. The other Hermits are giving the machines a very respectful distance. Doc’s portal is literally on fire so there is less pushy-shovey on this trip through. They emerge in the main area of Doc’s “home,” an open cobblestone platform high above a swamp biome. Xisuma warns everyone to watch their step. Gem immediately attempts to punch Joel off the platform. He punches her off the platform instead. She and the other Hermits begin flying around to investigate the area as Doc explains what is a massive cluster of superpowered farms and indecipherable redstone. He shows off his massive storage system, making Joe laugh at the idea that people need bulk piston storage for their five shulkers of pistons. Granted, given the farms around here, five shulkers of pistons seems like it might be an average afternoon out here in the swamp. Below the storage area is a supersmelter with 160 furnaces, and next to it is an autocrafter system designed to mimic a crafting table on an enormous scale and that will craft any item the user desires. The Hermits think this is very neat. Etho remembers that Doc did something similar to this in Sesaon 9, but Doc explains that having autocrafters in the game has made the whole business a whole lot easier.

2:05:30 Doc says that’s pretty much it as far as his base goes. It’s clear that his base is very large and incredibly complex, and that there’s enough to keep a tour busy for days, if only that tour group was made up entirely of high level redstoners who know better than to stick their fingers into every chest and punch one another into the complex machinery. Bdubs asks for a demonstration of Doc’s dark oak farm, which produces truly insane amounts of output when it’s up and running. Doc says sure and leads the way over to the massive redstone contraption that is his wood farm. Gem asks if there’s anything they shouldn’t touch. Cleo and False immediately and simultaneously say “everything.” Doc tells them to stand out of the way and don’t touch any levers, and that this machine will do 160k saplings per hour. He explains that there is a llama that is a critical part of the infrastructure that will allow him to place the saplings properly. Etho warns everyone not to place anything accidentally into the huge stacks of clay pots running along the sides of the farm. The Hermits are clearly intimidated but fascinated. Gem is happy to know that the farm is llama powered. Doc turns on the farm and TNT starts exploding. Dark oak is being created and pulverized at a phenomenal pace. Chat is awed.

2:08:00 Gem goes down to the staging area briefly, looks at the lever, then runs back to the safety of the upper platform. Doc is explaining that he hasn’t started any non-machine building yet, but that he does intend to eventually terraform this whole area, make a real exploding volcano, etc. There’s plenty of stuff to do, he just started with the machines. Etho asks how far Doc has gotten with actually doing the item filters in his storage room, the most tedious part of the process. Doc says he is about 80% through with it. It’s a multi-filter system, so while it will handle all the items in the game, some items will be filtered in groups and some with their own filters. And that is all there is, Doc tells them, they can all go home now. “Get out of here before you break something,” Gem translates easily. Everyone agrees that Doc’s redstone work is incredibly impressive. Chat doesn’t even understand what they’re seeing but they know it’s a lot. Ren says it’s like looking into the heart of a CPU. Made of diamond ore, Joel adds.

2:09:10 Doc shows them the way back to the portal and into the nether. Gem punches Joel in the back and then runs away when he chases her, insisting desperately “It was Cleo, it was Cleo, it was Cleo!” The Hermits do a short debriefing and decide when they should do another server tour. Joe thinks that 2-3 server tours per year would be good, let people see new stuff without the tour idea getting stale. While they talk, Gem runs around on the nether roof until Joel successfully potshots her for half her hearts. He gives her a distinctly “come at me” fast-crouch until she runs at him, then he punches her. They punch each other, then disengage as everyone heads back for the nether hub. As they fly they pass over Joe’s 1/8th scale map of his actual base, and even that is large enough that it took seventeen hours to place all the blocks on the nether roof. It’s a big base.

2:11:10 Gem and the others take the portal back to the shopping district. Joel suggests that this would be a perfect time for everyone to go buy some honey. Cleo asks how much honey he would need to sell in order to stop complaining about it. Joel says he wants to hit 100 diamonds in sales. The others are incredulous that he hasn’t even hit a hundred diamonds yet, which probably just makes it worse. Etho comments that’s a tall order for a smallish bean. “You just got called short by Etho,” Gem tells him. Doc says his armor trim shop should be open in the next week or so. Joel says everyone knows Etho is tiny. Joe remembers that Cleo promised everyone pity diamonds to buy honey with if they behaved themselves on the tour. Cleo confirms that pity diamonds are indeed on the table. “Sugar Daddy Cleo!” Gem cheers. She goes into the shop and finds the music button, then asks Joel if it works. He says it does but asks her to please not play it because it can’t be stopped. She protests that she hasn’t even heard it yet. She pushes the button and begins shrieking with laughter over the honey song. Chat is jamming along.

2:12:20 Cleo has 100 diamonds to pass out so that the Hermits can buy honey and make Joel stop whining. Gem gets enough to buy four stacks of honey that she will now need to figure out a use for. Doc asks if Joel is ever going to detail the back of this shop so it’s not just a brown cylinder on the side that faces the hourglass. Joel says he could, but he’s very poor and very busy just trying to make sales right now. Xisuma and False barely got any diamonds, Cleo does not know who took most of the diamonds and does not particularly care. Joe got 43 diamonds and passes a few out to the others. Bdubs suggests that some of these diamonds could also be used to purchase terracotta! Doc needs to get going, so they decide to head back to the new lava pool to end the tour.

2:14:00 The Hermits fly back to spawn, explaining the lava pool to Etho, who was not around for that part. He asks if they went ahead and moved the world spawn. Bdubs asks if anybody wants to sue anybody real quick while they’re all here. Ren asks about moving the world spawn and whether anyone would be cross if they moved it. Gem points out that this is a Hermitcraft Meeting topic and now they’re just streaming an actual meeting. A very confusing discussion ensues over where the spawn chunks actually are, where they will be after 1.21 drops, and whether they ought to be moved and why. Gem narrates for chat and says this is how an actual meeting always goes, with miscommunication being the first order of business. Apparently Xisuma believes the spawn chunks are not currently at 0,0, they are behind the courthouse where a bunch of farms are, but after 1.21 drops, they ought to be moved to an area just outside Ren’s base perimeter. Etho asks why, if spawn chunks are elsewhere, they always respawn by Hypno’s base when they die. Xisuma, obviously ready for an object lesson, tells him to take off his armor. Etho, resigned to being an object lesson, sets his spawn and breaks it, complaining all the while about how he’s going to have to hike back from Hypno’s house, which is about 40 blocks away.

2:16:00 While Etho is complaining and stripping down, Gem explains to Chat that this madness is how all of their meetings look and it’s a miracle they ever get anything done. Sometime during the process False gets bored of waiting and shoots Ren dead. As promised, Ren respawns next to the lava pool. Xisuma is obviously surprised by this. Bdubs is still calling for Etho’s head. Etho’s already naked and ready to go, so he suggests another test where they kill him in the hole. Chat is uncertain about this phrasing but False is more than happy to commit another murder act. Etho did not empty his inventory so his belongings fly everywhere, but Etho himself respawns next to the lava pool, same as Ren. Xisuma says he stands corrected, that the spawn chunks are indeed still at 0,0. Joel confirms that when one comes back through the nether portal for the first time or without a bed, they end up at the same place. The Hermits agree that this is why they never get anything done at meetings.

2:17:00 Xisuma circles back around to the original proposal: that when 1.20.6 comes out, to move the spawn chunks three chunks away from their current location to allow for development of the fairly prime real estate that the spawn chunks now occupy. Xisuma has a couple of proposals for locations but would like to hear from anyone else first. Nobody has any strong feelings and the general consensus is that Xisuma should put them where he wants. Pearl does suggest putting them near the post office, but it’s unclear if there’s any reason for that or if it’s the postal worker equivalent of “you should buy more honey.” Xisuma points out a small squarish island between his own base and Hypno’s and says that might be a decent space for the spawn chunks, or they could go the entire opposite direction and plunk it down in the middle of evveryone over in the direction of Magic Mountain. Space is very tight over that way though, so it might not be a net gain. Pearl reiterates the post office suggestion, in an empty area between the post office and Xisuma’s base. Everyone flies over for a look and Xisuma agrees it’s a great spot. Nobody else cares so long as the new spawn chunks contain a portal and an ender chest for all those wild nights when somebody inevitably winds up naked and wingless at spawn. Pearl offers to decorate it. Gem congratulates her for giving herself work on her birthday. Ren calls for a voice vote; the “yays” are unanimous and enthusiastic. Ren declares the order of business complete and Cleo adjourns the meeting. The Hermits’ grasp on Robert’s Rules of Order are about as complete as their grasp of jurisprudence, but the issue is solved and everyone is happy. Gem admits that they usually don’t even call for a voice vote and this was very official today. Chat is not sure that any Hermitcraft meeting is official without Impulse there to write things down, but mostly they are busy saying “yay.”

2:19:00 The normal procedure for reaching accord during meetings, Gem explains further, is that someone will ask a question, three people will say “yeah, I guess,” and everyone else has their mics muted because they are eating. Pearl is usually half asleep and trying her best, sometimes in bed and with the phone on speaker. The Hermits congratulate themselves on an excellent meeting and give themselves a round of applause. Chat has always wanted a streamed Hermitcraft meeting and now they have gotten one. Chat is pleased. Everyone wonders how they ever get anything done.

2:20:00 False suggests that they all go jump in on Impulse, since he’s online and not at the meeting. Impulse did not join the tour because he doesn’t want to spoil the huge minigame he’s currently working on. Xisuma moves the spawn chunks and tells Ren he’s free to use the old space now. Ren mutters darkly about how the sulfur will expand. Xisuma suggests a group photo. Etho is busy setting fires and Gem is punching Cleo, but everyone agrees a photo is a nice idea. They all gather together and gaze into the future, at the new spawn chunks. Joe demands to know how long he’s had a fish head on and why did nobody tell him. Cleo and Bdubs assure him he’s been wearing it the whole time. Screenshots are captured, Joel punches Gem again, and Bdubs laughs because his specially modded skin actually blinked during photo time. Everyone agrees that this was a good idea and they had fun on the tour. Now they are all going to go and look at their own bases at 30% brightness.

2:21:50 Gem says goodbye to everybody and heads back to her base, asking Chat how they liked that. Chat approves greatly, they had a great time. Gem will post the VOD soon. Gem’s base actually looks great at 30% brightness, this may be the vibe she goes for. It does make the palm trees a little dark. Gem promises she’s working on her next episode and that it will be full of new interiors. She’s going to bring lots of immersion into the base very soon. Everybody’s bases were so cool to see, and it was great to have a visit with so many Hermits! Gem has had a lot of IRL stuff, good and bad, going on lately, but she hopes things are evening out and she’ll be back to streaming soon. She thanks subs and donos as a group and decides to wrap things up. Chat really, really, really wants a Skizz raid. Gem raids into Skizz and ends her stream.

#hermitcraft #stream recap #server tour #geminitay #zombiecleo #rendog #xisumavoid #bdoubleo100 #falsesymmetry #smallishbeans #skizzleman #ethoslab #joe hills #pearlescentmoon #docm77 #so many hermits in this one guys it's wild #long post

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faelynfawn · 9 months

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Hi I just saw the circus au art and I'm here to ask about him.

Feel free to go on a ramble I need everything you got :3

Oh my gods thank you so much for asking I have so much to say. (Also, by the way, I love your art so so much. If you have ever noticed me spam reblog a bunch of your art, it was most likely because I was on a call with my friends and showing it to them.)

So, the first and most important thing to establish, is that all versions of Scar I rotate around in my brain are disabled. Specifically in regards to circus headcanon or AUs, he has all of my disabilities. As I am a disabled circus artist and I know exactly how it would work.

So, Scar had always loved the circus ever since he was a little kid. It was just so magical and wonderous to him. He always sort of wished he could join the circus.

Then one day, around about 15, he realised there was a circus studio really close-by to him. Three, in fact. It blew his mind. Previously he sort of regarded circus as this mystical, out of reach thing. He had no idea it was just something he could learn and do.

For me, this is sort of where it splits into two separate veins of timelines. A) One in a Minecraft-inspired fantasy setting that has a casual interdimensional travel aspect to it (the one LMLY is set in, essentially) and consists of things like codes. And B) a modern AU of a Minecraft-inspired fantasy setting with no interdimensional travel (so no Hermitcraft or Life Series). It is a more normal fantasy world and does not consist of codes or players, it is people within it if that makes sense. We will call this A and B.

In A, he was a builder already. That was what he loved doing. As a result, he decided it would be better for his career if did not show that he was disabled. If you have read LMLY, you will understand.

Anyway, because of being a builder, he was already incredibly strong. His favourite part of circus at the beginning was being a base in acrobalance. It took him a while to get the right kind of strength for aerials, but once he did he quickly started to train doubles work.

The thing is, he knew that all of the things he was initially drawn to in circus just were not realistic for him to do. His first love in circus was flying trapeze, but he knew any sort of flips would just make him pass out. But in order for flying trapeze to work, you need a catcher.

He worked his butt off to be a catcher.

Most of the circus he ever did was group work, with him fulling the role of the base/catcher. He did not have the ability to do much else, it would just trigger his symptoms.

When he got to Hermitcraft he found himself a lot more symptomatic than ever before, even after he learnt how to accommodate himself better. It meant that his ability to go back to his home world and do circus was quite limited, almost entirely stopping after season 6.

I am jumping ahead quite a bit as otherwise it would reflect the planned plot for LMLY a bit too much, but during season 9 when he built Scarland he also began doing a lot more circus again. He was using mobility aids by that point and finally had enough energy to do it.

Which brings us to timeline B.

In timeline B, Scar's career goals involved being an imagineer. As a result, he handled being disabled a lot differently.

He always considered himself unfit as a child. He hated sports with a burning passion. He was also the sick kid, always. He was rarely ever at school, he struggled to make friends because he was never able to hang out, and any extracurriculars he signed up for he almost always ended up flaking out on.

Him realising he was disabled went quite similarly to timeline A. During his mid-teens, he realised he was actually Experiencing Something and not just lazy/unmotivated/all the things he had been told his whole life. Unlike timeline A, his plans for his life were not exactly something he felt as though he could not do as a mobility aid user.

It radically changed his life when he became a wheelchair user. For the first time, he was actually able to function and exist and it was the best thing ever. He had the energy to truly dedicate himself to his plans of becoming an imagineer.

The thing about circus is it appears in all sorts of places. In particular, amusement parks. At least in Australia where I live, which is the country this setting is most like anyway. Like in timeline A, Scar had always loved it as a kid. Especially when amusement parks he visited had circus performers during special festivals and things like that, it was just the coolest.

Scar had a problem with living a very sedentary lifestyle. It was not great before he got a wheelchair, due to him being bedridden often (not that he realised that was what it was at the time), but even worse afterwards. So his physio encouraged him to pursue a physical hobby.

Which is where he discovered that he had three circus studios near-by.

As much as he loved the circus, but did not exactly consider it a possibility. It was in the same category to him as like being a Jedi or something, actually being a circus performer just was not really real to him.

Calling him was excited was an understatement, to say the least.

Unlike timeline A, it was not a smooth journey. He was not really all that strong. He loved it all the same, but for the first year and a half of him doing circus, his progress was pretty stagnant.

Until he got on testosterone.

Did I forget to mention he is transgender? He is always transgender to me. (In timeline A he got his player code altered for the record. But he is the sort of genderfuck man where he thought his tits made him hot (because they do) and preferred a t-dick over a penis. Just in case people wanted to know.)

Anyway, one of the changes he was most looking forward to was the increase in strength. He was quite disappointed when after quite a few months he did not actually get that much stronger. He did get more muscles, but they did not really seem to work.

Then, suddenly, like 8 months in, well after he had given up hope, he suddenly was just a lot stronger.

It motivated him enough to really dedicate himself to his training.

In this timeline, he really did not like basing. He felt as though his body was just too unreliable to let himself trust others' wellbeing with it. He would, sometimes, just because he was a big boy (I maintain my headcanon that he is short, however. Vex hybrid.) but he never really liked it.

He really only did the things that he truly found passion in, as he had a limited amount of energy for his training.

I want to say that Scar still is an ambulatory wheelchair user after beginning to do circus. He uses his wheelchair so he has enough energy to do circus. For a while he felt really awkward about it, he did not want people from circus to know that he used a wheelchair and he did not want anyone who knew he used a wheelchair to know he did circus. But as he grew up a bit more, became an adult, he really stopped caring what others thought of him.

I suppose I should say my headcanons for what apparatuses he uses. I headcanon that he uses (static) trapeze, lyra mostly as his aerial apparatuses, although teardrop (also called hammock) has a special place in his heart. As for ground work, hula hooping and leviwand.

I am going to inform you of his journey in discovering these passions.

Right when he first began his training, he was really interested in drops. It drew him to silks, initially, but he just was not strong enough for it at the time.

He found himself then drawn to apparatuses like trapeze and lyra instead, as even with his limited strength at the time he still could do some tricks. He actually avoided verticals (silks and teardrop) for a long time, as they were just too strengthy for his tastes.

Especially with lyra, everything always looked so beautiful on lyra. It is the worst and most painful apparatus in the entire world (author bias, I hate lyra) but he was used to pain. Besides, everything in circus hurt. That was just how circus was. Even if lyra was a bit more painful than others. (It is the worst I hate it I hate it so much owie owie owie :[ <- does lyra for fun sometimes (Although I would never ever train it I am not crazy.))

Scar tried teardrop at one point and was beyond shocked at how little it hurt. He did not know an aerial apparatus could feel so gentle! (He thought this until he started trying wraps, and discovered the pinching was its own special kind of hell.)

He was excited, because with teardrop he could do drops like he had always wanted to. He trained up for it. Then, when his trainer deemed him strong enough, he tried his first ever drop. It was sort of like this, I am imagining, although I cannot find a video of what I actually mean. The point is he flipped over himself like that.

He discovered that his body just could not do it.

He was so dizzy after it it was a wonder he did not pass out while still up there.

He was absolutely crushed and heart broken, as that was the one thing he had always been so excited for. He figured he should have seen it coming, as he did not do tumbling for that exact reason, but he really had not.

Since he was not able to do the tricks he actually wanted to on verticals, he decided he was not going to do them. He did not for the longest time. (Although, eventually he began doing silks and teardrop every so often for the fun of it. He ended up really liking teardrop. While he never dedicated himself to training it enough that he felt he could perform it, he still just loved it.)

I will say that was a lot of what his initial bit into circus was. Discovering things he really wanted to do were just not things his body could handle. He really had to let go of a lot of things he wanted to do, and instead focus on what he could actually do. He found he really could not do all the dynamic tricks he really, really admired in others, but he found his own soft and gentle performing style that really worked for him.

It was difficult, but he grew to really like it in the end. It was very queer to him, being a man who performed in such elegant and graceful ways. So gender as well. It was not actually until he saw a man do a particularly beautiful straps performance (from which he wanted to do straps, but knew he never could) that he began to really appreciate his own circus style.

At least that is how it went with aerials.

Scar found he could do very little ground work. Hand balancing was what he was initially drawn to, but he quickly found that his wrists would dislocate every single time he tried. Same with acrobalance (In timeline A, he had enough muscles built up from being a builder he did not really run into that issue.) and tumbling. Tumbling also involved flipping and he just could not do it, his POTS would not allow him.

The groundwork he could do was primarily manipulation. He tried all sorts of different things. It actually took quite a while before he progressed in any of it, because he was splitting himself across too much.

Eventually, he picked hula hooping as his primary ground work. He loved it so much. It was just so much fun to him. He thought it was so cool to take this object most people were familiar with from their childhoods and do amazing tricks with it. Especially when he began performing it (which, I will get to in a minute) he felt as though it let the kids in the audience see something relatable amongst all the cool and crazy, and he hoped it inspired them to do some circus themselves.

Leviwand was his other favourite. (I actually just remembered I have one and I should probably train it more, as I can do that on my favourite ground work apparatus rolla bolla. Anyway.) He just thought it was the coolest thing. It looked like magic. It was just remarkable and so cool and literally just physics.

(Bonus: In versions of this where Scar did, in fact, have magic, he would absolutely do circus with it. I might talk about that another time.)

Now I wish to state a bit of his circus journey, in regards to it being a job. He did not ever intend for it to be, for a long time. He had about two months when he first started that he kind of wanted to turn it into one, but it was just a hobby really. It wasn't until he was in his early 20s (in university doing double architecture and engineering bachelors) he realised he could actually apply to do circus at an amusement park's seasonal event. He did. He got in. He got to perform and get paid for it.

He essentially stumbled his way into paid work. It was not long after that he was offered a position as a trainer at his circus studio (which, he had been living on the disability pension up until that point due to not being able to find a job that he could physically do).

Then he found himself putting his university course on pause for six months so he could tour with a big top circus.

I truly believe it was the most fun he ever had, but he realised he could not actually have that as a viable career option. He was not medically fit to drive, his body could not handle having to set up the tent and clean and all that maintenance stuff, and he really did not make that much money. Enough to survive, sure, if being disabled was not so expensive and if he did not already have student debt.

So he finished up his university course while working part-time as a circus trainer. Once he graduated, for a while he took up a more standard engineering job. Then he found his niche in applying his degrees to circus stuff, and actually ended up working for Cirque Du Soleil creating their insane sets.

While he was never a Cirque Du Soleil performer himself (Do you have any idea how insane their intake process is? He would not be qualified for it even if he somehow managed to pass the health checks. Not to mention, you audition for a chance to be contacted to be in a show. No way.) he was so, so excited that he got to make such amazing things happen.

He still was a casual performer, usually taking up gigs that just happened to come his way, or doing performances with circus studios he was with.

But it was remarkable to him how he got to combine his first love of being an imagineer with his second love of circus into such a beautiful thing. He could not get over it, he just loved what he did.

When it came to being a performer himself, he definitely used his architecture and engineering degrees for his own personal passion projects too. He always had some new idea for a new cool show, and found himself the head of many remarkable contemporary circus performances.

In particular, he had this whole superhero based play/musical/circus performance with drama and conflict and betrayal. It all began when started to consider how he could put his love for archery into a show and his friend misheard him saying, "Like Hawkeye," as "Like Hotguy." Then he joked about having his best friend (or lover, up to you) play the role of Hawkeye's rival-turned-lover Cuteguy, and the rest was history.

(I also have some circus Grian headcanons. As in, I think Scar dragged everyone he ever knew into circus. It did not stick for all of them, but Grian realised that since he was an Avian he could just do fun flying tricks and it was considered circus. He liked that. What made him love it was doing it with Scar, the way Scar would come up with a million crazy ideas and make brilliant performances. Scar's love for it really rubbed off on him, and he found himself doing the same.)

Anyway. The Hotguy play/musical/circus performance was Scar's baby. It was so fun and silly and camp, while also having these serious moments that really hurt you.

It actually got quite big, and he got to tour it.

Anyway.

I have run out of thoughts.

I just love circus and I love Scar.

#faelyn answers #circus scar #stiffyck #long post #gtws #gtwsc #goodtimeswithscar #headcanons #au #circus au #hc #Is this a ficlet? Or an imagine? It is not quite a fanfiction but it is something.

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