#hes a shit judge

[sirchik]

[wardinespurrit]

redid my hms designs. i go on a ramble in the tags beware

[fading4ngel]

he's judging you.

[myspacelegend]

[beantothenighe]

*Runs in with a fresh headcannon and slaps it on the table.*

What if Agent Stone judges people based on their shoes? Like Leliana from Dragon Age.

Imagine Stone and Robotnik standing in the corner of some mandatory meeting or party and talking shit.

Robotnik could easily just look up the lives and secrets of everyone he sees at the event, but instead likes to point out people for his agent to observe and guess their lives for him.

Robotnik: "Him."

Stone: "hmmmm. He's not as rich as he's leading people to believe. In fact, he's bankrupt. The only reason no one has found out yet is because he's selling everything he owns to keep his house and car."

Robotnik: "How'd you reach that conclusion?"

Stone: "His shoes are worn down to the sole, and scuff marks are marked over with ink. It's hardly noticeable if you're not looking. A man who talks that loudly about such materialistic things wouldn't be caught dead wearing old shoes if he could help it."

Robotnik: "ha. Bullshit."

Stone: *shrugs.* "Only an educated guess Doctor. But the shoes rarely lie."

Robotnik: "hmm. Her."

Stone: "OH, she is 100% sleeping with her maid when her husband is out golfing."

Robotnik is both annoyed and impressed that Stone's observations are right about 91% of the time.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 198

Now Bruce was not expecting to reincarnate upon his death. At least he thinks he died, he’s pretty sure he did. There wasn’t any other reason for him to be a well, literal baby. Around two he thinks, which fits well with the fact that it’s around that time that babies start forming memory recall, if he, well, remembered correctly. 

But while he knew about reincarnation thanks to Shayera and Carter, he’d never exactly given it much thought towards himself. Because seriously, what were the chances of such a thing as him being given another chance? 

So he was quite surprised at his situation, experimentally opening and closing pudgy hands that looked well, just a tiny bit off. He’d never been that pale before, he thinks, even back when he never went outside like, ever. 

He turned his gaze towards the mobile above him with a sort of idle curiosity- a mixture of bats (ha) and other trinkets he wasn’t familiar with. It also caused him to get his first good look at his parent, asleep on a rocking chair right next to the crib. 

Huh. They had the same pale skin he did, albeit in the light it looked like it was slightly tinted blue, and while their hair was white they didn’t exactly look old. They looked surprisingly well rested for raising a toddler too, unless they had a nanny or something similar… He rolled over, managing to very shakily push himself to his feet with the help of the crib. 

Why was standing so hard as a toddler? And why did he have his memories of everything except how he had died anyway? 

His head whipped up from where they were staring at his feet when he heard a snort, finding his parent awake and standing. Somehow silently enough that he hadn’t noticed- or he was that easily distracted by the unfamiliar giddiness bursting in his chest. 

“Morning little bat,” his parent easily picked him up and held him while he inwardly sighed at the nickname. Of course his bat motif would follow him into this life. A low rumbling almost caused him to jump, his body relaxing before he could fully register the sound. The… purring? 

Oh. 

He wasn’t human this time around. 

[sforzesco]

DO NOT BE AFRAID

this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.

I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!

idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.

Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika

and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.

The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:

Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman

Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)

a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.

The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis

Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie

Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek

Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson

Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong

[misteria247]

Stanley standing on the Stan'O War II's deck with Ford having their morning coffee enjoying the sunrise

Stanley staring out to sea: Hey.

Ford sleepily: Hmm?

Stanley in a serious way: I just want you to know that I love you okay, no matter what.

Ford confused about where this is coming from: Uh okay..?

Stanley looks at Ford who's now taking a sip of his coffee: So that I means I fully support you and your love for monsters, cuz I too am a monsterfucker-

Que Ford choking on his coffee as he spews it everywhere: sTANLEY WHAT THE FUCK-

Stan continues: I mean I dated a spider lady once though she tried to eat me and I married a lady who was part owl for like 6 hours so I get it. Just wanna let you know that I won't judge you for it. Might judge your taste in partners but-

Ford blushing so brightly he would make Ariel from the Little Mermaid jealous and absolutely mortified: OH MY GOD, WHILE I APPRECIATE IT, STAN I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE DROP IT-

[princessofghosts-posts]

Y'all know about those fanfictions where Nico (with Reyna and later on Will,since it's mostly done in Solangelo fanfic) and the Seven are the best of friends?

Yeah,I hate those.

During MoA and HoH they were extremely judgmental and scared of him,all of them,even Hazel (it was one time thing at least for her),and having ffs where they are a large group of inseparable friends takes away from that. I can understand when those are AU or a different retelling of the story,but when you put it in a continuation of the canon narrative in HoO....it's a big N O for me.

Let me explain.

Jason –> until Cupid decided to be an ass and making Nico coming out in front of him,Jason's didn't trusted him. Percy told him his whole story life (which is completely wrong and out of character for Percy to do so,I don't know what Rick was thinking when he wrote this) but Jason still was doubtful about him. We all know that in MoA he and Leo argued about whether or not taking a risk to save him,because they don't know where his loyalties lie. That's another famous plot point talked about to this days. And while I can understand their reasoning,I don't like it. Especially because Nico was dying,Hazel was in front of them worried about her brother,and almost 3 different gods told them already that Nico had the key to the Doors. The fact that Percy had to tell Jason about all the shit that happened before,so that he could understand him better,is a bitter factor. And even after that,he thought it was Nico's fault when the "betrayal" in TLO happened (again,Hades's fault). Like the fuck? They rescued him and then? Half of HoH,when it cames to Nico,all of them,not only Jason,commented on his physique and way of eating after he was released from a jar,where he had been locked up for a week and had to balance only 5 seeds to stay alive. He probably developed an ED,but who cares when we can comment on how creepy pale and silent he is. Jason had to witness Nico having a traumatic event happen,in front of him,to start to see him more than the scary son of Hades. After that he started to be nice to him. Not before,after. Nico had every right to snap at him when they were blocked in the palace of that wind God. Jason was better later on with him,but his behavior wasn't a good one.

Leo -> together with Jason he is usually bashed because of the whole "Can we really trust him?" deal in MoA. And again,while I can understand their reasoning for this,I don't like it. Jason didn't know Nico,even if he sometimes popped out to visit Hazel,before the whole switch and memory loss,he still didn't know him. But while CJ was clueless of him while CHB fucking knew him. Before they realized where Percy was at the end of TLH,Nico was running alongside Annabeth into trying to find him. While they were out on their quest,Nico and Annabeth were still trying to locate Percy. And while Leo might not be really familiar to him,in 6 months they proprably met. Even if Nico's relationship with the whole Camp is rocky,they all still know him. Only a few were really his friends,sure,but they fought a war together not even half a year ago. And Leo also had a connection with Hazel. You think the guy that had a crush on a girl tried to help her into saving her brother,especially if said brother is part of his same camp,but nope. And after the rescue,he was always unsettled by his presence and often pointed out about how little he eat. They didn't had an interaction alone,and during group meetings,again,he pointed out how silent he was. Almost invisible. And mewhile,Nico was worried about him during BoO,especially after his "death". Didn't read ToA yet and I'm planning too,so I don't know if they are better in it.

Frank -> another one that was constantly scared and unsettled by him from the start. In SoN he compares Nico to Hazel,and specifies how Hazel is different from him,because she is nicer,he doesn't feel scared and he like her. Again,no one at CJ really knew him and Frank's thoughts are also influenced by his feelings for Hazel,but at least try to not be so....judgmental? Like,Nico is all of those things too but a few people know about it because they all judge him,and shun him away the first chance they get. In MoA at least he was on board to save him,and proprably would have shot Leo on the spot for suggesting something that upset Hazel. Again,he accepted for Hazel,not because there was a live in danger,and said demigod was their answer to the whole Doors problem. Then HoH happens and he also comments on how scary Nico is,and how creepy is the fact that he try to be one with the shadows all the time. How strange right? Especially after a whole ship look at you like some freak. Nico's fault,my bad. And the trip to Venice? If Frank was going alone with Hazel then everything is ok,but if Nico joins? Dear gods,Frank is unsure of going somewhere with a child of the Underworld with him,as if Hazel herself isn't one. The funny part? The only reason Nico ever went with them was because they needed help. Every single time. Venice? He could speak italian and asks the locals for informations,Venice is where he was born and lived before the war and Zeus. Croazia? Only a child of the Underworld can have the scepter and he didn't want to risk Hazel. In the House of Hades? That's his father temple,his home turf. But no,let's not talk about that. And when Hazel got hit by that katoblep? First thing that he thinks about is wanting to hurt Nico for even have let this happen. As if Hazel can't take care of herself and Nico wasn't fighting for his life too. Coming back to Venice with the acknowledge that he lived there and doesn't have his memories about it,mixed to the fact that he was still weak from Tartarus and the jar,the days of flying (while Hazel felt always sick in the ocean,Nico is more sick in the air),and could barely use his power without almost dying again is already traumatizing enough,what the fuck do you expect? It's a miracle that he was able enough to go on in that city. He also got turned into a plant,again,just because of who his father is. It's not only the demigods but also a random god in his own hometown that treat him like that. And Hazel's whole speech about the fact that "Nico might be a little unsettling sometimes but he is still my brother" to him? Nah,Frank shouldn't even had a speech to try and be a decent human being to him,like everyone else on that ship.

Hazel -> speaking of Hazel,I already talked about how her relationship with her new found brother is a little bit complicated,because of ghosts from the past,but in the end they will kill for each other. Hazel was ready to do anything it takes to get Nico back after she found out Gaia captured him. From SoN to MoA she was worried sick about him,both for his suicide mission and for the fact that he was captured. But that speech she gave to Frank? That was so out of character of her. They are both children of the Underworld,and during SoN she specified how both of them got treated (Hazel's a little better than Nico let's be real-) for who their father is and their powers. She knew about the pain of being different from the others,since she experienced heavy bulling by her classmates (not counting her mother's abuse too) before dying. They both share that pain together. And while they didn't had years of knowing each other,they understand and adapted to each other pretty quickly. And the whole speech of "I know that my brother can be scary and unsettling,but could you still try to be nice to him?" when Frank pointed out how Nico prefered to be alone and staying outside,instead of sleeping in Percy's cabin? I would understand if it was a situation of "Listen,my brother is like that and he has his reasons,you have no right to judge him for that." but it wasn't. Hazel herself thought that her brother was unsettling. As if she wasn't the same. I love her,I do,and their sibling bond is everything,especially during HoH,but this is something that she would never do. It was so out of character and Rick fucked up with this.

Piper -> Piper and Nico never had an interaction together,and if it's happen in ToA I don't know of it because I haven't read it yet. She was angry at Jason and Leo when,in MoA,they decided to talk about saving or not Hazel's dying brother and she was also on board to save him. When they saved him from the Jar she was the one that tried to get to him and protected him,while Jason and Percy dealt with the gaints. But again,in HoH it's everything about his pale skin and how underweight he is. And this is the same thing for Leo,Piper also knew him before taking off for her quest to save the world. She told Jason about how some of her sisters and campers think that Nico has a crush on Annabeth,since he was always there to help in her search for Percy. As a child of Aphrodite she is pretty empathic and when it's came to Nico's "love problem" she probably knew about his crush for Percy,but she never told anyone about it. After meeting Cupid and the whole forced coming out,Jason also has a feeling that Piper knew about it or that she suspected it. She proprably was one of the few that wasn't that bad to Nico,but still,her thoughts on his appearance weren't nice.

Annabeth and Percy -> those two weren't there with the crew during HoH,they were fighting for their life in Tartarus. Again,both of them were on board with saving Nico without a second question,even if Percy was still bitter about the fact that he lied to him (not his fault,if he told him the truth a whole war was going to happen before they could do something about it). I saw a lot of criticism for that scene since Percy is protective of his friends,and would had tried to punch Jason and Leo for even suggesting that Nico can't be trusted. While I can agree with that,Percy and Nico don't have that close brothely relationship that the fandom made out of them. They have their up and down, especially down,and blamed each other for things that weren't really their fault. What I can't stand is the fact that Percy decided to tell Jason,a stranger he just met,Nico's life story. Maybe he wanted Jason to understand that Nico was a good guy,or something like that,but this only made Nico's situation worst with him. The rivalry between Big 3's children wasn't enough,now a guy he didn't like tried to give him life lessons on his own life. Percy would never do that,no matter the situation or how much fractured his relationship with Nico is. Annabeth and Nico worked together for a couple of weeks. They both wanted to find Percy and Nico probably helped her a lot with how much areas his power can cover. She also thought that he had a crush for her,but she didn't like him because of his personality,and she already has Percy. When Nico confessed about his crush to him,in front of her,she even give him an high five. She wasn't that bad. And she,like Percy,knew him. She was there for (almost) everything that went down in his life. Both of them were saved,indirectly,by Nico. If he hadn't been a good friend to Bob,they would proprably be dead not even half away into that hell. And at least they both acknowledge that by the end of HoH. I firmly believe that,if Percy and Annabeth never fell into Tartarus,Nico probably would have lived better on that ship.

I can see people that like to headcanon that they are all pretty close,and maybe in ToA some of them are actually close to him,but they were all horrible to him in one way or another. Either they were scared of him,didn't trust him or judged him or pointed out his eating habits and how much thin he was. Which sucked because Nico had to endure extremely traumatic experiences because they needed his help. And he still went on with another suicide mission after HoH because they still needed him to win the war. The Seven didn't treat him nicely,all of them fucked up,some more than other,and only a couple of them tried to make it up to him. The Argo II crew was on a whole field week when it cames to Nico di Angelo.

And I will fight however say otherwise because it's true.

[dukeofthomas]

I hate the insistence in pushing Jason into the batfamily.

If he doesn't wanna go to dinner, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't wanna hang out with them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't want to see them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't even want to contact them, he doesn't have to.

It's so annoying to read fic and always see it presented as his Family Knows Better. Jason is just being silly by not realizing how much they love him and he just needs to let them break into his home and comms and life because they want him there.

[feroluce]

Given that Belobog is so full of snow, I'm kinda sad we never get to see any snowmen anywhere. Like that would have made for such a cute bg decoration!

And I think it would be especially funny for Sampo to make them, not out of pure, innocent whimsy and joy, but like specifically to be a menace smzhnsjd

Like Gepard keeps finding little snowmen out around the frontlines. And normally he would just turn a blind eye to this like he does with other things (like the shitty amateur distillery no one thinks he knows about); war sucks, their own damn leader is trying to kill them and Gepard is treading water just trying to keep Cocolia from using his guards as cannon fodder. If his soldiers want to make some snowmen in their downtime, then they should be allowed that. God knows they've earned it.

BUT SOMEONE IS MAKING SNOWMEN THAT LOOK LIKE HIM, DAMMIT!!!

Gepard keeps finding them down the back alleys and more hidden parts of the frontlines! And they all have the same grumpy little face, with blue-painted rocks for eyes and sometimes even gold-colored bullet casings for hair! And he knows who it is the second he finds another little blue haired, green eyed snowman next to it! Fuckin' Koski is sneaking in here, and easily enough that he has the time to taunt him!

Gepard once found a little Snow Geppie with angry eyebrows and red roses stuck in its blushing cheeks that was handcuffed to a weapons rack, which was when he realized someone had pickpocketed his handcuffs. He punches the head clean off the little Snow Sampo nearby, only to discover that it is also holding his wallet, minus all the shield he'd had in it that morning. Gepard kicks it for good measure.

One time he found a little Snow Sampo offering roses to a little Snow Geppie, and he quickly knocked those over too before anyone else could see them or his red face. He swears he can feel Sampo snickering and mocking him nearby.

Sometimes, Gepard finds little Snow Sampos with tiny sacks thrown over their shoulders, all filled with items that are SUPPOSED to be in the depths of the guarded Silvermane storehouses. Sampo technically isn't even stealing anything, he's just showing Gepard that he could if he wanted to, and poor Gepard is going to pop an aneurysm.

Pela: Good morning, Captain. Have you been outside of your tent yet?

Gepard: No. ....Why.

Pela: No reason. Say, have you heard of any break ins recently?

Gepard: No, why.

And Pela holds open the tent flap and there's a ton of tiny little Silvermane Guards snowmen in tight neat rows, all with their little stick arms up in salute, and each one with an actual, stolen official helmet-mask.

Pela: You run a real tight ship out here, huh.

Gepard: (looooong weary muffled sigh as he drags a hand down his face)

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

My controversial opinion about Hob Gadling is that I believe he’s absolutely the sort of guy that “puts things behind him”, and tries to wash his hands clean of the things he feels icky about. This is implied pretty well in the show, with him blithely moving from soldiering and robbery to printing, from slaving to… whatever it was he was doing in the 19th century instead. That being said, this is not at all the same as actively trying to atone, or even making a concerted effort to be a better person, and I really wish fandom could tell the difference!

[thechibilitwick]

boo ihate them tomato tomato boooo

[kerizaret]

Spoiled Milk (voiced by Jeaney Collects on YT)

[Comic version below! For easier reading and details or smth]

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Protective Nightwing Part 2

Tim would like to say that he didn't realize it would become a thing ok. He knows technically he is manipulating his big brother but honestly he's tired and his fucks ran out three murder attempts ago.

Ra Al Ghul is annoying he's easy to outwit usually and most of the time he is more interested in a chest match than actually killing Tim.

Today he had four board meetings, and had to stop ten fucking muggings he's tired, he's overwhelmed and he is worried he might actually start crying. Which can't happen.

Well Detective what are you gonna do?

Now this is when he usually detonates the bombs and gets stabbed, but he's not the only Bat Dick is literally a block over chatting about his plans for the weekend. He's feeling a bit petty and he might want a hug which is between him and his fucking monster at this point.

He looks at Ra pushing as much menace and you fucked up into his eyes as he can before opening his mouth.

Dick it's Ra shit I'm gonna fall please. Tears flowing smirk in place.

Ra backs up fear in his eyes as Tim moves to the edge of the roof.

Dick comes in swinging Ra is dangling over the roof while Tim pretends he just pulled himself up.

He growls I'm gonna drop you don't fucking test me as he lights him up with over 10,000 volts.

Tim maybe should have the mentioned the sedative Ra had stuck him with. The last thing Tim saw before passing out was Dicks smirk as he dropped Ra over the building.

Tim wakes up cacooned in a soft hoodie and wrapped around Dick who is softly humming as his fingers ran through his hair. He slips back to a nightmare free sleep guarded by his Robin.

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when