#hi guys do you like my chat simulation i made it myself

[bioluminescentfrog]

guys, i used to be scared of lowkey but now i see him in chat and its basically:

0lowkey: Does anybody want CatPats ✓doogile: I don't

elevenvolcanoes: thank u tri tricycle

0lowkey: @doogile CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats CatPats

tootiredtricycle: FishFlower

[muppetebbtide]

trojan war tumblr simulator

🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today

YOU BET IT IS

#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting

108 notes

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow

why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk

🏘️ nobody1020

it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps

340 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus

opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!

3 notes

anonymous asked: we should all go home :)

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS

50 notes

nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going

45 notes

⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?

year 9, day 234: still no....

#all our admins keep DYING

500 notes

‼️ trojan-confessions follow

I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid

🐴 horsetaminghector follow

lmaooo is this paris??

🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow

kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk

600 notes

❓ myrmidons-confessions

I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe

❓ myrmidons-confessions

5000 notes

👑 kingofmycenae

👍🏻 ajaxthegreat

achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????

🏘️ nobody1020

I think that's why he's posting it ngl

300 notes

😹 deiphobus42069

imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there

🐆 leopardskiniscool

???????????????

#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill

240 notes

#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)

340 notes

🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543

so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes

🗣️ homer follow

I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!

🐎 antilochussss

not the direct address????

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo

direct address got him :(

3000 notes

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

by ares this can't be happening

345 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta

do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags

100 notes

[twonutsinatrenchcoat]

To those who care or would like to know, which I feel is a non-zero amount considering the amount of adorable little horndogs and y/n girlies on this accursed app (I say this affectionately, I hope all of you have fairy tale endings. Happy ones), I will share this story because it simply must be shared.

For context, ah for Context, I made the regrettable mistake at the beginning of last year to join the army. Not really, no, I’m an art student, what would I be doing with the US military? Graphic design work? Tank simulations? No, silly, I want to work in children’s television.

Anyways, due to this..situation, I spent my first semester of college completely surrounded by extremely fit guys who were also very wonderful and relatively put together and such. You know, the kind of depressed where they were still functional and also surprisingly emotionally intelligent. Very sweet. The kind that would be considered prime marriage material. I assume.

Also completely off limits. For a couple of reasons, I would never date any of these people. (Well, I did date one, but that’s a different story.)

At the end of the semester, I left but not completely, because I was still on the housing contract, so I thought “might as well stay, I don’t have the adulting skills to manage a move nor do I find it economically efficient”, so I found myself in the unusual situation of living on the top floor of a dorm filled to the brim with hot military guys. (Or they would be considered hot. I don’t classify people that way.) Who were no longer off limits.

From my little rapunzel tower window, I could see them working out in the mornings when I checked the temperature. I woke up to the bugling and fell asleep to taps and all that. I chatted them up in the laundry room. We opened doors for eachother. We bumped into eachother on the stairs. I was very much drowning in gentlemanly little bastards.

So it was inevitable that something of this sort was bound to happen.

See, a couple nights ago, I was feeling very out of it, so I thought I’d take the feeling further by staying up till 2:30 doing the sort of absolutely nothing that doesn’t even leave you rested by the end of it. (Instagram reels, you degenerates) Sandpaper-eyed, I crawled into bed and was asleep for but twenty minutes when I was awoken.

By what?

By a silhouette, in my doorway, of a very muscular shirtless someone, (he has an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt on, but it hung, y’know?), just standing there.

(I don’t really lock my door when I’m at home. Maybe I should, then this shit wouldn’t happen, but then this shit wouldn’t happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

So I put on my glasses, not completely awake but certainly not asleep anymore, and threw off my covers to greet my guest like a proper host.

I am not expecting company. I live alone. I should be terrified. The only person in my mind that this could possibly be is my pixie-cutted next door neighbor who sometimes wears loud-printed, insurance salesman shirts, suspenders, and unconventionally long shorts “for a girl”, but the voice coming from this ever-less-blurry form is unmistakably masculine and the handsome face I am greeted with at the door is one I have not had the pleasure of former acquaintance.

The things he has been saying this whole time were very riveting, to me at least as I got my bearings and tried to discover the quest for which my nighttime visitor had gone forth. He was evidently confused why my door had not led him to a haven of like-enebriated individuals and instead portaled him into the dark room of a sleeping freshman, but he was taking his time about vocalizing his mistake.

When I got to the doorway, he got flustered and went “no, no, I’m sorry to bother you, you can go back now.”

I thought to myself, well now I’m hooked, and, gesturing at my top and very tiny shorts that could be easily missed, said “Don’t worry, I’m…clothed”. The very best thing to say in that situation.

He went “I think I’m on the wrong floor” but he sort of repeated it and said it very slow and repeated it again, and so I helpfully pointed to the three on my door, that signifies that this was, yes, the third floor. At a complete loss for words, I was really just trying to be helpful.

He repeated himself once more, and so I tilted my head and stared at him and we started at eachother for a while while I desperately tried to think of something clever to say and he desperately tried to think of something, anything, to say to gracefully remove himself from the conversation.

He settled for “just…forget about this.” And escaped in the direction of the staircase. Out of my life with residency fixed in my mind forever.

I went back to bed and thought, Someone would have found that very romantic.

Which, I hope, is all of you. I don’t get paid by the word, you know.

Looking back, I think the most unfortunate part about that story, for y’all at least, is that there is literally zero chance of another interaction with the man because a) I have moved out, b) I will not see anyone from that college for three months now, and c) he was in all probability drunk out of his mind, which I think really does ruin our chances as he has, no doubt, forgotten our little interaction and I am certainly not going to do anything—should we cross paths again—to remind him.

So it is not really that kind of story, but I hope it gave someone food for thought or smut I guess.

It was a pretty fun way to start my ex’s birthday though :/

[auideas]

Hi! Do you guys have anything for 24 hour livestreams? Like the ones you see on Twitch?

That we do!! We weren't sure what type you were looking for specifically, so here's a spread:

What was supposed to be a simple 24 hour gaming livestream for charity turns into something completely different at hour six when Character A sees a massive influx of alarmed messages in their chat. Their viewers seemed to be freaking out about something they saw in Character A's webcam, but upon further inspection, they don't see anything...yet. Each hour brings new horrors as Character A attempts to navigate a large charity livestream, their unsettled chat, and a new entity that seems to have found their way into Character A's home.

While gaming during a 24-hour livestream, uber-popular gamers Characters A, B, C, & D do their best to complete large event quests in their favorite open-world RPG. This, however, is easier said than done when they realize their viewers are more than capable of stream sniping them and sabotaging their progress.

Popular 'Just Chatting' streamer Character A has an amazing idea: they'd do a 24-hour charity livestream where they host their three friends at their apartment for a sleepover simulator. The four prep all the necessary games, food, sleeping bags, etc. for an incredible 24 hour cozy event. They streamed multiple POVs, did prank calls, made sickly sweet snacks, played Truth or Dare, etc. Needless to say, the viewers seemed to like their games of 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' the most.

"I wanted to spice up my usual content from the rest during my 24-hour charity livestream, so I decided the best way to do that would be to rent out a barebones storage pod and lock myself in for the 24 hour period while completing dares from my chat. It was going well until something happened...now, I need to follow my untrustworthy chat's advice or I'm going to die." AU

Swatting was supposed to be a thing of the past, but Characters A and B realize that their viewers were more immature than they expected when they heard someone rapidly knocking at their door and yelling to be let in. They both swallow thickly before unlocking the latch and see four fully-rigged officers pile into the room. It was easy to explain the misunderstanding, but the animal bones scattered around the apartment from their occult arts and crafts activity from Hour 4? Not so much.

"Doing a 24-hour charity livestream was always a dream of mine, so my best friends and I decided to make it a reality. We hooked up a few devices for the stream and took to the streets for a 24-hour city experience livestream where we went to all our favorite places within 24-hours, no stops, no breaks -- in fact, we even locked the devices to continue streaming no matter what. We had an amazing first four hours with our chat, but then upon further inspection, we realized that we were missing our main device, the one that houses the charity accounts and would automatically transfer the funds once the 24 hours were up. Most of us were sobbing uncontrollably because we hadn't just lost a device, but the thousands our viewers had donated too. Upon further investigation, we realized that we had a stroke of luck: the stream was still locked on. With the help of our chat, we set off in the remaining 19 hours to track down the device and save our charity livestream." AU

[fandomloversworld]

BBS incorrect quotes. part 2.

Brock: I put the pun in punishment

Tyler: I put the top in unstoppable.

Vanoss: I put the cue in execute.

Delirious: I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Brian: I put the ass in class.

Nogla: I put the d in brock.

*In minecraft*

Brock: Oh Snickerdoodle! (Nogla's chat) we have a visitor!

Snickerdoodle: Don't tell me it's Brian.

Brock: it's Brian.

Brian: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!

Brock: And here we have a capitalist.

Cody: Did you just-

Lanai: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

Tyler: I called you ten times! Why didn't you pick up?

Marcel: *remembers dancing to the ringtone*

Marcel: I didn't hear it.

Brian: Legend says that when you can't sleep, it means your awake in someone else's dreams.

Brian: When I find out who you are, I'm going to punch you in the face.

Panda: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

Delirious: Remember, if you die in the simulation-

Marcel: Yeah, yeah, I know, if you die in the simulation you die in real life.

Delirious: What? No! You need to reset the simulation with the terminal! what is WRONG with you?!

Nogla: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

Marcel: What's the one thing I told you not to do?

Tyler: Burn the house down.

Marcel: And what did you do?

Tyler: I made dinner.

Marcel:

Tyler:

Marcel:

Tyler: And burnt the house down.

Vanoss: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Brian: Wow I gotta hear this.

Vanoss: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced

his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Brian: You forgot pride.

Vanoss: No, I'm prety proud of this.

Cartoonz: Do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

Squirrel: Heh, panda sneezes like a girl.

Panda: How about I pound you like a boy?

Panda: That didn't come out right.

Delirious: if we were in prison, you guy would be like my bitches.

Squirrel: It doesn't havea boe.

Cartoonz: Then why is it called a boner?

Vanoss: If you bite it and you die, It's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Nogla; What if it bites me and it dies?

Vanoss: Then your poisonous. Jesus Christ, Nogla, learn to listen.

Cartoonz: What if it bites itself and i die?

Vanoss: That's voodoo.

Gorillaphent: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Vanoss: That's correlation, not causation.

Delirious: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Vanoss: That's kinky!

Cody: Oh my god.

Part 1 on account!

(I'm sorry this took so long)

[just-lndifference]

I'm convinced this year is just a dream or simulation or something because generally what the fuck is happening.

someone I looked up to for 5 years that I originally named myself after turned out to be an abuser and wrote the most chat gbt ass ""apology"" and only cares that shubble was brave enough to speak out. (SUPPORT VICTIMS)

taylor swift announced her 5th album in 5 years (not including re records) WHILE WINNING A GRAMMY. and then being the amazing woman she is became the first person in history to win aoty 4 times.

twenty one pilots not only announced a new album, but is open with the lore and released a single that is one of the best songs they've ever made. when clancy drops this whole fandom is cooked.

this is the first time I've genuinely been terrified because of an election. if trump wins I genuinely don't think I'll be safe in this country because of project 2025. I'm a bisexual nonbinary person, I will never have a chance to get gender affirming health care and will lose the right to get married. and that's just the stuff that will happen to me! I can't imagine how scared people that are in more affected groups then me feel if I'm this scared. I know he's a horrible option but if your seeing this and old enough to vote in america PLEASE vote for biden. independents just don't have a chance, yes he funds a genocide but trump will too, and hell do much worse things. as a minor I'm literally begging y'all to think of everyone who isn't old enough to vote yet.

erm this is very unserious compared to the last part of my rant but I like lana del rey now!! 😭 obviously not her as a person (free palestine) but her music. and this is a major unseen development I've aggressively trashed lana and her fans since midnights came out bc of snow on the beach (turns out that it's just a really shit song 🙏). idk shout out to the person who made me feel obligated to listen to born to die (album)

also my henry danger hyperfixation from when I was 10 just decided to resurface?? like yes I had it for like 4 years BUT WHY IS IT BACK HELLO??? idk but ray is like super hot now that I'm older and I really want to date his goofy ass 😭😭 I remember not liking him much for some reason but like.. he's just a silly little guy.. babygirl if you will.. just a little rat boy..

I accidentally convinced 2 people to read the forest fic (neither were clikkies and I just met one of them). I don't think anything more needs to be said I made 2 full grown adults cry over a band they've never listened too 😭🙏

on that note joshler is big on twitter again but it's widely accepted?? idk what happened there but a good chunk of the art on my tl is clancy x torchbearer and I honestly don't mind.

jason kelce retired. in my family it's a thing to hate the eagles but holy shit I cried so much. the edits literally fucking destroyed me. I had no idea how much of an amazing person he was until taylor started dating travis and I wish I had more time to be a fan of this wonderful man while he was still on the field. he's so goofy and always made me laugh, I genuinely love the guy now.

the chiefs once again won the superbowl, I was honestly terrified the whole time and cried a few times that was the most stressful game of my life. I'm so fr I tried to get a rep tv announcement date from the disney plus commercial, taylor immediately being shown when the game came back on with a chiefs jacket that magically appeared out of nowhere that had a number that wasn't a player I lost my shit 💀

I could go on for hours, and it's only March. genuinely so much shit has happened and I'm not ready for more.

[zaddyazula]

yakuza final review?

fhsiaosjhde i love this question!!!!! (spoiler bit is under the cut)

i really do not like the fighting in 4. i will not lie. it’s really fun in the other games (even 3 which is known as blockuza 😭😭😭) and i only enjoyed one fight. in the entire game. in 22 hours of my playing i enjoyed a singular fight, mainly because of how annoying the other ones were. they weren’t necessarily hard, but just very, very tedious and mini-bosses who made me want to kill myself.

the story on the other hand is one of my favourites in the series. 4 protagonists!!!! 4 main characters!!!!! they all had 4 parts each with 4 chapters each and it actually got going pretty quickly. it didn’t drag out at the start like in 3 where for 5 FUCKING CHAPTERS (probably about 6 hours of playing) was housewife simulator and i was debating quitting the game. i will admit i wasn’t 100% at first, but as the story moved on i started to like it even more. the story isn’t as good as 0’s or 2’s (in my opinion) but it’s still a really enjoyable story which has the same amount of silliness as the others. four main characters also meant four final bosses though, though the first three were fine. it’s the just the last one which is really my fault for being annoying. i didn’t have enough money to get recovery items before the point of no return so i crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. managed to get to it by 12am and got steamrolled even after changing to easy. ended up reloading the save and doing the other three fights again, before managing to the the last one first try on normal after all of that. the one fight that i enjoyed was the third boss fight which i actually played properly for once. because i was impatient i did the first two on easy to save time (i did them on normal the first time anyways) but the third one i just played on normal because i enjoy it so much.

all of the big bads weren’t even really big bads, apart from one dickhead who just annoyed me greatly (the last boss). one guy was a police officer pretending to be a yakuza, one was some washed up ass yakuza and the other was the guy who the main main character (of all the other games) made head of their yakuza clan (tojo clan) at the end of 2. he was in a coma for all of 3 and i was screaming at the tv for the whole fight taking the piss out of him. what a clown. he had it coming. he put my favourite character (majima) in jail.

the game took a bit of patience at times, but i would play it again if someone held a gun to my head. i really hate the combat.

i really wish i was able to record my voice along while playing so you could hear the ramblings i go on with. maybe next time.

i think that’s all of my thoughts (spoiler free). now. spoiler time 💥💥💥

THIS BITCH ON THE LEFT. THIS FUCKING CUNT. he’s the boss fight i actually enjoyed. guy on the right is my favourite character. who daigo put in jail.

I ACTUALLY LIKED HIM AND THEN THIS GAME THE MAN WENT OFF HIS TITS. I MADE HIM SIXTH FUCKING CHAIRMAN OF THE TOJO CLAN AND HE HAS THE FUCKING NERVE TO TRY AND MOLLYWOPP ME. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I WAS (whisper) SCREAMING “STOMP THIS BITCH OUT” AT THE TV. I WAS INSULTING THIS FUCKING WASHED OUT FUCK LIKE IT WAS A SPORT. FUCKER WAS TRYING TO BE RYUJI (antagonist from 2 who wasn’t even that evil). WAS REALLY TRYING TO ACT LIKE HE WASN’T GONNA GET WASHED. BY THE DRAGON OF FUCKING DOJIMA. REALLY TRYING TO ACT LIKE HE WASN’T GONNA GET HIS ASS TIGER DROPPED.

moving on.

these are the main guys. like damn i love it when we get a lined up shot like this. left to right is: akiyama, saejima, kiryu (main man) and tanimura. that’s also the order of the boss fights. i really like talking to fake chat as well, and i swear i wish i was able to record me fucking ranting on at these bitches. all it takes is one boss fight and it’s me ranting about some random nonsense.

at lot of this game was running back and forth between places which got very boring VERY quickly. unlike in 0, 1 and 2, i did not have a blast all the time playing this. as getting stopped five million times trying to move across the map is actually rage inducing. some of the “boss” fights were just me getting grabbed by their support demons over and over again. i was losing my shit by the end of it. had to go for karaoke a couple of times.

i honestly think that’s all i can say.

[thecontumacious]

can you make a mysta x streamer!gn!reader like the one you did with vox? except this time they're doing a cooking simulator stream collab and reader can cook so they're trying to teach mysta how to cook :] i'm an avid mysta fan and i really love your headcanons <3 keep up the great work, author-chan!

Infuriating

pairing: Mysta Rias x Streamer!GN!Reader

a/n: as a person who can cook decent meals myself AND a perfectionist to measurements, that cooking stream was painful to watch, man 💀 also, anon, i don't wanna say reader is exactly 'teaching' in this instance. let's just say that reader is teaching mysta the hard way--

y’all know the deal

you were a nijisanji streamer, particularly debuting earlier than mysta

your first meeting on stream officially was as a host and him debuting

and let’s just say things fell into place naturally after you decided to drop by mysta’s chat~

especially for mysta

this man adored your charm and always found himself enjoying his time more when you dropped by the chats

at that point, you and mysta talked a lot over discord and he always, always tried to invite you for any possible collabs

the chat thinks mysta is obviously down bad for you

“hi y/n!”

“y/n’s here???? hi y/n—wait, YOU GUYS TRICKED ME THEY'RE NOT HERE FUCK YOU GUYS” 凸(｀⌒´メ)凸

the chat has so much fun

[COOKING SIMULATOR] 🔴 mysta cooks for y/n and chat [NIJISANJI EN | Mysta Rias]

“aight mysta, i’m counting on you not to poison me, kay?” you giggle

mysta exclaims, “i’m not poisoning anyone! in fact i haven’t poisoned anyone!”

“it’s a miracle that hasn’t happened too”

“oh fuck you, y/n”

but despite this, mysta enjoys your company

he is well aware of his limitations in the culinary world and your actual decent skills in it

why does he (a terrible chef) think streaming cooking simulator with you (a decent chef) would be a good idea for himself, hm?

to mysta, it’s not rly about impressing okay maybe just a bit hush but he’s looking forward to imbedding the memory of it

it’ll probably end in chaos but if it has made you laugh, mysta won’t mind

“alright, what should we start with y/n? cakes and cookies or pizza?“

“ooh dessert or pizza… personally, i’d like to see you try cakes and cookies first, mysta.”

“cakes and cookies? chat what’d you think?”

“cakes and cookies probably”

mysta frowns, “whys that?”

“bcs it’s relatively harder,” you begin to wheeze

“WHAT CHAT IS THAT TRUE OH MY GOD AND THEYRE SAYING THEY WANT CAKES AND COOKIES TOO—CHAT WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SUFFER LIKE THIS”

“you’ll be fine, mysta,” you tell him, still laughing. “mostly.”

“you’re not really on my side either are you????” mysta whines, clicking on the cakes and cookies sim anyway

“i’ll try not to backseat, mkay?”

“you better fucking not. don’t flex your cooking skills on me. do that when vox is around”

but you just couldn't help but itch so much when mysta kept over measuring or doing the technique wrong ;-;

“you know what? it’ll be fine” mysta claims, flour overmeasured by a hundred or so grams

“no it's not mysta, that cake is gonna have too many solids now”

“IT'LL BE FINE!! believe in me for once!” he begins to protest once more, moving on to put in the next ingredient he's going to add too much of again

6:35 minutes of y/n being tortured by mysta’s inability to cook

y/n malds because of mysta’s food

continuation utc!

the gas tank arc 🛢:

“MYSTA DON'T PUT THAT THERE”

“WHAT WHY IT'LL BE FINE”

“EVERY TIME YOU'VE SAID THAT, EVERYTHING’S GONE WRONG”

mysta puts the gas tank on top of the stove anyway, just for the spite of it

“i’m gonna call it chat. if that thing explodes, i’m calling it—“

💥

“oh,” mysta deadpans

“i’m not even gonna say anything💀”

“guys look this looks so good!!” mysta exclaims as he pulls out the finished cake out from the oven, appearing with a surprisingly very decent result

“oh shit wow that does look good,” you comment to which mysta grins at

that camera may not catch it, but he’s very very flustered about getting your compliment(´ω｀*)

he's done something right in his life

“see? see? i can totally do this. okay okay let’s decorate it now! this one’s gonna be for you, y/n.”

“ah- thanks mysta-“

you had to call him out for all the unseiso references tho omfg

tbh mysta was just fishing a reaction from you lol

“mysta we’re in the goddamn kitchen this isn’t the time”

mysta could only giggle unseiso-ly moving on

the fact you call him out and react to it just makes him want to tease you even more hwjshsish

“mYSTA!”

“WHAT” mysta laughs his ass off

you can say that he kinda likes it when you scold him┐(-。ー;)┌

same goes for the pizza arc 🍕

“parme-SAN? what’s parme-SAN?”

you stare at mysta, absolutely baffled

“what’d u call it?”

“par-muh-SAN?”

“mysta it’s par-muh-ZAAN”

“… same thing.”

🧀 😭👎

“cant be surprised from someone who said it as ja-la-pe-no.”

“oh shut the fuck up”

🌶

the banter between you two is just the cutest thing the chat has ever seen, you won’t believe how many clips the clippers have made just you guys arguing over the most stupid things💀💀

“i wonder where food hygiene went,” you sigh upon seeing mysta drop the whole container of dough

“went up my fucking ass,” mysta retorts, casually putting the dough back in and on the counter again as though it hadn’t caught the floor’s bacteria

foodhygiene.file not found

“i’d never eat this pizza. i’d die first before doing that”

“come on it’s not that bad??? the worst outcome is prob like just a stomachache or sumn”

“food poisoning, lawsuits from the customers and probably the shut down of the actual restaurant mysta, that’s the worst outcome.”

“i’m not opening my own restaurant and it's just a game, y/n.”

“that’s not the point mysta—“

hardcore facepalm

“guys what cheeses have you tried? what about you, y/n?” mysta suddenly asks, picking up the mozzarella from the in game pantry

you hum before stating your answer

“huh i see,” he says. “i mean i have tried some cheeses. oh god but please not blue cheese. that’s literal mold. and you think i’d eat it because you’ve seen me eat mold”

“you eating bacteria aside mysta all cheese are mold, you idiot”

“no they’re not???? they’re just like processed milk right? and then like for blue cheese it’s left out for a long time until like mold forms,” mysta argues

you roll your eyes, “goddammit mysta that’s not how cheese making works. they’re all mold”

“well how do you know that?? it’s literally just milk and they add shit to it so it hardens to become cheese”

“exactly. it’s when it becomes cheese is it mold, mysta.”

“tHAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE??? MOLD TAKES LIKE A LONG TIME TO FORM, DOESN'T IT?"

“IT'S BASIC SCIENCE, BIOLOGY MYSTA. OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE”

“OKAY OKAY DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME”

“I WOULDN'T IF YOU HADNT BEEN SUCH AN IDIOT”

“ITS NOT MY FAULT CHEESE WORKS WEIRDLY”

“YOU'RE INFURIATING ME WITH YOUR LACK OF FOOD KNOWLEDGE”

“WELL YOU'RE INFURIATING ME WITH HOW FUCKING CUTE YOU ARE”

“YOU—“

wait what the fuck did he just say again

“what’d you say mysta?”

“I'M MAD YOU'RE SO FUCKING CUTE THAT I LIKE YOU SO MUCH AND IT'S MAKING ME SO STRESSED OUT”

even the chat was too stunned to say anything

you sit there, staring at mysta who is quiet, probably just as baffled by what he just sputtered out himself

you honestly… didn’t know what to say????

I MEAN WTF SHOULD YOU BE SAYING ANYWAY MYSTA RIAS HAD A CRUSH ON YOU AND LITERALLY ANNOUNCED IT ON STREAM

(ಠ_ಠ)????????

it’s only when the chat exploded, you had to say something

“m-mysta—“

“ALRIGHT ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT CHEESES THIS PIZZA ISN'T GONNA BAKE ITSELF” mysta cuts in, returning to his unfinished pizza and you to your own thoughts

chat wasn’t willing to let it go either, with the overwhelming roll of messages and supas waiting to be given attention by mysta about what he just said

“okay chat, we’re gonna speedrun this pizza okay? okay sauce first!”

how could this guy just move on from what he said like it was nothing???

you just sit there, dazed as though you had woken up from the weirdest dream while mysta continues to decorate his pizza

“wait it says garlic, did we get garlic?” you hear him say again. the chat was asking for your input on the matter too it seems, with how worryingly quiet you were

so you decide to follow mysta’s footsteps and play along with the causality, “no i don’t think we got garlic. go back to the pantry mysta”

mysta’s camera pans around, into the said pantry and quickly cuts up the garlic needed for the pizza, all the while you were unable to comment and the chat buzzing in with chaos

“okay let’s just put this in the rack thing—wait hold on, i can't interact with it,” you turn to the screen and indeed see the game glitching

you breathe a sigh of relief, seeing the open opportunity to take a break and... recollect

“is that a bug? you got bugged?” you inquire, leaning closer to the screen

mysta tries clicking everything on his keyboard and nothing reacts

while for the chat it was upsetting, you were never more glad for a game to bug

with how mysta was looking, he probably was too

“you’re moving tho, are you sure??” you ask again

“no! look! nothing is highlighted! chat i just broke the game,” mysta chuckles, aggressively running around the kitchen. “okay okay so i might have to end the stream now and probably start again after like 10-15 minutes because this is bugged.”

“yeah, you can’t even open the main menu either,” you add in

the chat hasn’t even calmed down from the recent “confession”

“okay chat i’ll see you in 15 minutes aight. im so sorry this happened. y/n thanks for coming too! i haven’t completely made you insane have i?”

“mysta you know fucking well enough how much that tortured me,” you hiss, to which mysta laughs

“okay okay fine i’ll buy you real pizza or something,” he says. “okay chat i’ll see you in a bit. mwah, bye!!!”

and with that, mysta’s screen switches to the ending display, finishing all misery you had to face that day

on the discord call, it’s quiet

and that’s when you realize mysta just went offline

the audacity

“THIS GUY HAS TO GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME” you curse out loud, grabbing hold of your phone to call the said culprit on discord

there was no way he’s gonna run from this. you needed clarification!! why the fuck did he say that??? what the fuck is going on even???

“mysta come on pick up…”

it took a whole killing 30 seconds before your call is answered

“he-hello?” mysta speaks, obviously shy with how he was stuttering

“mysta i-“ you inhale, admittedly nervous as well.

"THAT WAS FUN RIGHT? I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOMETHING FROM YOU!" mysta exclaims, shuffling around in a restless matter. he continues, "OKAY I NEED TO SET UP THE STREAM AGAIN, GOTTA GO NOW--"

“mysta don’t fuck around with me. what was that???? what you said on stream??”

the line is silent again and all you can hear is the erratic beating of your own heart and the shaky breaths of mysta

“alright,” he sighs. he takes a long breath in before saying, “i meant what i said. a-about liking you…”

oh

“i really do think you’re cute and it makes me so mad that you are. i just wanna make you laugh and hang out with you all the time. but i also don’t wanna bother you too much or annoy you with how i game. i’ve always wanted to say i like you but like i said, who the fuck would like me?” mysta’s voice is soft and the chaotic person he usually is online is gone

it’s almost as if you’re opening a different side to this man

“say something. anything,” mysta pleads.

“mysta i… “ warmth envelops your entire face, everything finally settling in. “you fucking idiot, don’t say that kind of shit to me. i-i like you too… you’re pretty fun to be around and i’m always excited when you ask me to collab. don’t just say no one would like you. i would, alright?”

the air hung awkwardly, not a single word spared.

sniffles

eh?

“mysta? are you okay?”

“no shit,” his voice is cracking up and it was very obvious he was breaking down.

your heart wrenches for him, “hey seriously what’s wrong? did i say something wrong?”

“no you idiot, i’m just—“ mysta sniffles again. “i can't believe you actually like me back. you’re just so cool and out of my league—“

“didn't i tell you not to say that kind of shit to me?”

mysta pauses and lets out a chuckle, “sorry.”

you sigh, “look mysta. you are an amazing person. look at how far you’ve come. you have so many good friends, co workers and a great audience! if anything, i thought you wouldn’t like me…”

“oh so we’re degrading ourselves now, hm?” mysta says, and you both laugh

“fuck you that’s not the point.”

“cheese nerd”

“shut the fuck up”

“… hey”

you reply, “hm?”

“i don’t know if you’re okay with this but,” mysta clears his throat once. “i-i don’t know like… are we a thing or something? like dating or whatever?”

“dating or whatever?” you snort, to which mysta begins to whine

“shut up. you get the idea”

your laughter dies down and you answer, “sure. let’s try dating or whatever.”

when you two finally end the call, for the first time, mysta feels like he doesn’t have to go for another sleepless night. he doesn’t feel like he had to miss your presence just as much. with the barrier finally broken between you two, it feels as though the one piece mysta had been looking for all this while is now here in his own two hands.

and he’s going to make sure he’s gonna take care of it the damnest he can.

🧡🧡

later post stream:

mysta rias 🟢: um y/n

mysta rias 🟢: can i ask for help

y/n l/n 🟢: with what?

mysta rias 🟢: i’m hungry and i still don't know how to cook

y/n l/n 🟢: pick up the phone ok

Masterlist!

[ilovejevsjeans]

How Olympian race engineer Tom Stallard helped coach Daniel Ricciardo to Monza victory

Daniel Ricciardo and the ever-improving McLaren team were seen as a match made in Heaven ahead of the start of the 2021 season. But while it all came good at the Italian Grand Prix, Ricciardo’s win at Monza was a product of hours and hours of unseen work, and some confidence-shaking moments along the way. F1 Staff Writer Greg Stuart sat down with Tom Stallard, the man who’s race engineered Ricciardo throughout 2021, to trace the arc of that breakthrough Monza win.

You could make a strong case that Lap 52 of the Monaco Grand Prix marked the nadir in Daniel Ricciardo’s first season with McLaren. As the Australian exited Sainte Devote and accelerated up the hill, he dutifully jinked left to allow team mate Lando Norris to lap him, Norris acknowledging the gesture with a wave from his cockpit. Norris would go on to finish third. Ricciardo, who’d brilliantly won in Monaco just three years earlier for Red Bull, finished out of the points in 12th.

That was May – and yet just four months later, Ricciardo had taken McLaren back to the winner’s circle for the first time since 2012, capping off a superb Italian Grand Prix weekend with an emotional victory at Monza, and leading Norris home in a McLaren one-two.

How did that happen? Ricciardo’s race engineer Tom Stallard has been the man F1 fans have heard soothing and chivvying Ricciardo over team radio this year, a year in which success has been harder to come by than many had anticipated – and he was naturally delighted when Ricciardo combined all his learnings to take the assured win in Monza, his first victory since that 2018 Monaco triumph.

“I was super proud,” Stallard tells me as we chat in the paddock in Sochi, “because we've worked really hard this year to be honest, and it was nice to see him executing everything that we'd talked about and worked on.

“Obviously he did a fantastic job, but he actually did the job that we'd been talking about and working on together. He's a top driver, obviously, joined our team as a top driver, but we’ve actually had to work at it quite hard and in Monza, he really executed that.”

Why didn’t Ricciardo and McLaren gel immediately? Ricciardo’s stellar second half of 2020 with Renault – during which he took two podiums and finished every race in the points – combined with McLaren’s sharp upward trajectory and the arrival of Mercedes power units at the team for 2021, meant that many earmarked the Ricciardo/McLaren combination as a potential surprise package this season.

But despite claiming points in his first four races for the team – including convincingly leading Norris home in Barcelona – right from the off, Stallard says, there were issues.

“I think the Bahrain race [where Ricciardo finished P7 to Norris’ P4 on his McLaren debut] he did quite well, but that was with a lot of time in the car in the [Bahrain] test – I mean, not a lot of time but a bit of time at the test, and a circuit that suits him well,” says Stallard.

“And then at Imola [where Ricciardo finished P6 as Norris claimed a podium in P3] we kind of exposed the problems, if you like, that he was having with the car, and we understood the struggle that we would have.”

As you might expect from an engineer of Stallard’s experience (he joined McLaren back in 2008) his first reaction to the situation wasn’t to panic, but to put in place processes to help bring Ricciardo on.

“We put in place a plan of what we needed to do differently and how we needed to react. And since then actually, we've been on an upward trajectory from that point, but you don't always necessarily see that from the outside.

“There have been a number of races where after the race, he's been frustrated and I've been reassuring him that actually we are seeing progress, and we don't have the good results yet but they're coming.”

So what was it about the MCL35M that wasn’t suiting Ricciardo and his driving style?

“Ultimately,” says Stallard, “all the drivers would choose the same thing, which is very good rear stability, and front end that increases as you add steer. That is totally universal, but the truth is that having a car that does that is the Holy Grail of Formula 1 design; every team up and down this paddock is trying to do that, and succeeding to a greater or lesser extent.

“We have a car that understeers and that's been something that he's had to adapt to and modify his natural approach to get the best out of.”

One thing Stallard is at pains to point out is that, for all of Ricciardo’s famously insouciant manner, beneath the gigawatt smile there lurks one of the world’s top racing drivers, with a work ethic to match.

“Obviously Daniel seems like the most laidback guy in the world,” says Stallard, “but behind the scenes, under the water, the duck feet are going quite quickly.

“Because we were in lockdown and he was in Los Angeles [over the winter break], we did most of his initial integration virtually, and during that phase, he learnt all the switches, what all the toys do, how to use the steering wheel.

"We spent a lot of time talking through the strategy with Daren [Stanley], our strategist. And actually all the communication side, all of the switches, all the controls, he had completely down by the time he went to winter testing.

“He's been in the factory loads, doing the simulator, partly working on his driving with that, but also giving feedback to the team about what he wants from the car,” adds Stallard.

“And at no point during the phase where he was getting up to speed with our package did he question that there was any kind of, the team backing the other driver, or the engineers didn't know what they were doing, or the car was set-up wrong. He just knuckled down, got on with the work, and I think that the whole team has a lot of respect for him for that.”

Ricciardo endured an up-and-down run of form leading up to the summer break, the lows including a tough Styrian Grand Prix where he finished 13th to Norris’ fifth and a Hungarian Grand Prix where first lap contact with Charles Leclerc hobbled his McLaren, leaving him 11th at the flag.

But Ricciardo appeared rejuvenated after the summer break, nailing his best qualifying of the year at that point with P4 on the grid in Belgium – while after a race to forget for the whole McLaren team in Zandvoort, Ricciardo then put together what would ultimately be his winning weekend in Monza, qualifying P5 on Friday, racing to P3 in Saturday’s F1 Sprint before claiming that sensational victory in the race.

Indeed, it was Ricciardo’s anger at qualifying P5 on Friday at Monza (and just 0.006s off his team mate) that seemed to indicate that a change had come in the Australian’s expectations of the level he should be performing at – with Stallard noting the key difference in Ricciardo since the summer…

“I think the ‘frustration at being P5’ thing was there all along,” says Stallard. “For me, the difference with the break is that it helped him not overthink it, so he's adapted better to the way you have to drive our car without it being completely conscious every corner, what you need to do.

Daniel's easy to work with, because if you give him a problem to solve, he goes away and works at it, so the work ethic's always been good, which makes life easy,” adds Stallard. “He doesn't defer responsibility away from himself; he takes a lot on the chin, which means some of what I've had to do is keeping him, let's say, up, because he's taken a lot of responsibility for things himself.

“But from my side, that means he's great to work with, and that collaboration is very strong. And when we got to Monza, we both had a lot of confidence in each other, so that made the result in Monza feel very natural.”

Going forward

Ricciardo leading McLaren to their first victory since Jenson Button’s 2012 Brazilian Grand Prix triumph, and their first one-two since the 2010 Canadian Grand Prix, was a fantastic moment for all at McLaren, and one that was warmly welcomed by most in the F1 paddock.

But Stallard was under no illusions during our chat in Sochi that Ricciardo is still on a journey to being fully comfortable in McLaren’s MCL35M car this season – a point Ricciardo would then back up himself a few days later when, despite finishing P4 in the Russian Grand Prix, he admitted that “there is still some stuff missing”.

“In Monza, the circuit and our technical package aligned well,” says Stallard, “and actually last year we came second there, so it's a circuit that suits our car and obviously Daniel did a very good job putting it all together, and the strategy was correct.

“He now understands how to drive the car; I think he's felt that himself rather than it just being explained to him, which means we have made another step. But it's a much more linear process than it appears from the outside.”

What Ricciardo does have in his corner, meanwhile – apart from the work ethic and talent that have made him an eight-time Grand Prix winner – is a race engineer in Stallard who has been an elite athlete himself, forming part of Great Britain’s silver medal-winning men’s eight rowing crew at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

And Stallard believes that his own experience as an athlete can help get the best out of Ricciardo, who signed to McLaren on a three-year deal that will take him into Formula 1’s bold new era of regulations with the team.

“In this sport, 20 years ago, the race engineers were very much engineers,” says Stallard. “But now we are coaches, and so we're using the data to guide the drivers in how to get the best out of the car.

“So I see myself now as a coach and I have a lot of experience of being coached, whereas a lot of the other race engineers… don't necessarily have the same experience of being coached. And I think that does give me an insight in terms of the struggles that people have when being coached, especially in a sport where on the way up, drivers often aren't coached that much and it gives me a good ability to manage the pressure and stay calm in what would be a pressured situation as well.

“And I also think that on any journey, although I describe it as a linear process, there's still ups and downs, and there'll be events in the future that are more difficult and that we'll have to respond to and react to. It would be naive to think it's plain sailing from here – but I think that it's a good next step.”(X)

[bitchineering]

Lets go! Day 1: Let’s learn HOW the frick to study

So this I think is the most important thing to do and really it is insane that in the United States (which is where I am from by the way) students have no idea on how to freaking study. Honestly all of this gets me incredibly frustrated because with the internet we have the ability to share information and I’ll tell you that I am one of those people who have scavenged the internet and picked apart what I could find. Here’s another big problem: not everything someone does will work for you. 

Also just the spread of dumb study information is pretty terrible. If I do counter anything I will leave a paper or my citation just because I believe in putting down sources and showing others how to research and why citing is freakin important. 

Let’s get started: I’m going to summarize everything that will be in here for a second

1. Find your method of studying, find out everything. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. You need to write down how you study (the different types of study people) but also the classes because people study sciences different than humanities. 

2. Find out your most productive state. If this means it is you at 2 am in a suit and jacket than that means you need to leave procrastination station and be studying during that time. Now I am not totally okay with people studying in a suit for one it is uncomfortable, I think a jeans and a clean tshirt is just as good. If you can be productive in sweatpants or pjs then go for it. I know I am not and it doesn’t work when I dress for relaxation.

Okay, I’ll be going into more in depth of mainly the first one but a bit of the second.

To start off the bat, if you have time watch this lecture https://youtu.be/IlU-zDU6aQ0 by Marty Lobdell. You have probably heard the saying before and one thing that makes me so frustrated within the study community is that others use this statment without giving any real examples. I feel like Lobdell does this as well as he doesn’t describe note taking and I do believe before putting down a material, you have to take notes. (All he mentions is handwriting notes and I do believe in that. You cannot really type notes and expect to learn the material). 

Another source I would suggest is the Vark Quiz (https://vark-learn.com/the-vark-questionnaire/) Learn what type you are (I’m a Kinesthetic!) and read what they give you. I’m not going to say you will perfectly match with your description but if you are starting from ground zero, this is an amazing place to see what might work for you instead of you having to come up with different technques on your own. 

I get so annoyed when people use the pomodoro method as a way to study. It is not a way to study. It is a way to schedule your study time. Also, I don’t think you can do much in 25 minutes or maybe it is just me. Usually I work for an hour or 50 minutes and then take a ten minute break. All you need to do is find out what works for you. 

Okay let’s get into classes, first there is an amazing youtuber named Nathan Wu who made this video (https://youtu.be/pdAt8JhBnMU and there is a part 2 but I’ll let you guys find it). He is a very good study youtuber that I do like to watch sometimes and I do appriciate that he is spreading correct information. I can give you guys an example of what worked for me in some of my classes (I also just wanna say I won’t be putting my grades on here nor anything really. I don’t feel comfortable being compared to others because I already have to deal with it at my own institution and peers. Please don’t compare yourself to others).

Chemistry (Wu also does include this subject in his video):

- Write notes and explanations for the love of god. Like please just write notes. 

- Also apply those notes. If you are confused in one area ask someone for help whether that be your teacher or someone else. 

-I would say to use flashcards, but I’m honestly a big quizlet user (I haven’t used Anki I’m a little weird and I get so annoyed when I use something that is popular. I sadly give off the “i’m not like other girls vibe”). When I use quizlet every time I get an answer wrong I write down the definition. I can explain this more because you can do this with notecards as well and probably Anki but I like the mobility of quizlet. 

-Labs... I do like doing some labs. I miss my older ones from Honors Chemistry, I barely do good labs in AP Chemistry, but at the same time you have to do them. This could be for any science class because knowing how to apply your information is the best way to test your knowledge that isn’t practice questions (If you need labs look up a virtual simulation. While it isn’t the same thing they are usually free and if not you can find some on youtube).

- Practice problems (this more or less goes with your grading point instead of studying. While I do believe the overall goal in studying is that you understand and can apply the topic tests are so different in many things). As stated before I have taken Honors Chemistry, so I used test prep from my teacher and was able to form questions similar to how she asked them on the quiz. In AP Chemistry I’ve been able to use the online resources from other teachers and AP Classroom. I will say AP Chemistry it is much harder to write my own questions because AP Chemistry is just really hard in general, but finding FRQ practices I believe is one of the best ways you can work on it (Honestly it may be just me but doing FRQs or written essays for answers is so much better than multiple choice because this allows you to practice giving explanations and learning where your gap of knowledge is).

Another study technique I like to do is called the Feynmann technique. This is such a great way to apply knowledge without doing test prep because you need to essentially master your subject before test prep. This method includes creating a study plan for someone else, you need to teach someone else (or something else) what you’re learning and have them ask questions. Know I know this doesn’t really work well for some people including myself because I don’t really have others to talk to when I study but talk to yourself. (sometimes I talk to a ghost or a plushie in my room. I have little trinkets on my desk of which a tiger egg and a Chick Fil A cow plushie wearing a sunflower dress. Just try it, it might seem weird but you got to). If you can’t have others ask you questions say everything you can remember (and maybe do this on a google doc with the voice chat box open, I would say record yourself but I hate hearing my own recordings). Then, once you have finished look through your notes and see what you got correct and what you got wrong. If you did use a google docs then write what you meant to say like: “I said this... but this was incorrect because of this...”

For study schedule or something related to studying I would say watch these videos: https://youtu.be/-m2Ua5Y0mzc and https://youtu.be/OYuhkaOPKcM. Both are by youtubers who I do like to watch and follow what they do. I would say to look through Alicia’s youtube a bit more if you like electronic organization AND the true studyblr (girl can do beautiful calligraphy). I believe I align more with Keo Tsang, who studies later at night rather than earlier than the morning. Tsang does get more hours of sleep than me (haha). If you are in high school please don’t do what he does though. I try to go to bed by midnight because then I’ll get six hours of sleep, and I can sleep on the bus (it takes me an hour to get to school). I also have a free first period where I can sleep if I need to or catch up on work from last night if I didn’t do it. I do like to work when there is sunlight but also coming home from school and taking a detox or a break is so much better for my mental health. I know it will be different when in university but I’d just say this to any high school student, please do a mental detox. Don’t go on social media and scroll endlessly maybe listen to some music, read a book, take a walk/run, my sister would bake after a long stressful day and her food- while not the best- got her in a good mood. 

I think this is all I’ll write today. I still need to do so much work myself haha but I am a big procrastinator and also I did have a break down a little while ago. Just know you are worth everything and in the end, every problem is going to have some type of solution even if there is no solution. Your life doesn’t need to be answered today or tomorrow so let’s work on becoming better students one step at a time :)

[imaginesalmostallfandoms]

Don’t leave (Part 2) - Four/Tobias Eaton Imagine

Part 1 

(Y/N)’s POV

I spent most of my time trying to focus on my life here in Dauntless. It was easy during the day, trainning hard, eating, exercising, chatting with Alec and making sure Eric was not near me (he didn’t stop flirting with me and it was annoying). Nights were more difficult. Everytime I closed my eyes, Four was in my head. I spent two months trying to find out what I did wrong, until it changed. 

“I’m mad, Alec” I said to him in our secret spot next to the cliff. “I’m mad because if he wanted a one night stand, he could have said it. I have no problem with that. The thing is, he used me by lying to me. I thought he felt something for me”

“He didn’t lie to you. Did he say something about liking you? Or you becoming a thing? Indeed, he warned you: ‘I don’t want you to get mad at me, (Y/N), if we take separated paths’. Remember? Now, be a grown up girl and forget him”

I smiled. 

“Thanks for being the best friend I could ask for” 

I got up and so did Alec. We started our way back to bed when he punched my arm

“Ouch” I said rubbing it.

“I did a good impression of Four and you didn’t say anything”

I laughed  but I was abruptly interrupted buy him pulling me against the wall. He put his hand on my mouth and looked to the left. I followed his eyes and I saw Four coming from the entrance of Dauntless. He was nervous and looking everywhere, like he didn’t want to be discovered. 

Alec was still scared while I was so calm... something wasn’t right. The simulation was easy for me, too easy. 

“How was it?” Alec said, trying to distract himself. “You know, with Four...”

“He wasn’t there. It was Tori who did it with me. He’s too busy for me, remember?”

“I don’t think I can do it again... it was horrible. How are you not that scared?”

“It’s obvious! Everything was fake. It was all in my mind so I could control it. If I was in the middle of the fire, I thought about rain. Easy”

“Oh really?” Eric said from behind. Everybody in the room stood quiet, looking at him. “Come with me” he said grabbing me by my arm and taking me out of there.

I had my hands tied up and the liquid Eric injected before had me a little dizzy. I looked around and I was in a corridor, but I wasn’t alone. Tori was there. A door opened and four tall men grabbed us from our arms. We came inside a huge room and the noises along the lights made me weak. I tried to recover and look around. Eric and a few leaders were there.

“Okay guys” said Eric while these men put Tori and me in front of everyone “I’m here because I want to expose two new little problems. This little girl over here is divergent. Tori knew about it and tried to cover it up. She betrayed us!”

“Divergent? What’s that?” I said, but I sounded weak.

Tori couldn’t even stand by her feet. Eric turned around to me but a door opened and Four came inside. He looked at us shocked but then he looked into Eric’s eyes. His face was neutral, but I knew he felt something when he saw Tori and me. 

“What’s this?”

“You were not invited, Four. You lost your chance when you refused to be leader. But since you are here let me enlighten you”  

Eric grabbed my hair and I tried to kick him but I still was a little dizzy. Laughing at my weak moves he let me go and grabbed a gun. 

“What’s a divergent, Four?” I said looking at him, now a little bit scared. Eric gave him the gun. 

“We have to kill all divergents, Four, along with whoever dares to help them. Your little friend here, Tori, tried to delete (Y/N)’s simulation. We have to kill them. However we can’t be suspicious. One dies right now, the other will be shown as dangerous and will be haunted by all dauntless people. It’s up to you who has more hours of life”

Four looked around, all leaders where waiting him to make his choice. His eyes... it was like he was debating inside his head with himself. I knew Tori was one of Four’s best friend and she deserved more than anyone here. She helped me and because of that, she was in this position. Being honest, she would have more chances of scape if people haunt her. She’s been in Dauntless more than me. I was a initiate. 

Four was now in front of us.

“What’s wrong, Four? Here we thought Tori was your bestfriend. We don’t understand why you hesitate so much. Although, there’s only two reasons for that” Eric walked around me like a vulture while saying “One it’s because you support Divergents like Tori, which is a fair cause to kill you too and I offer myself to do that, or... you love this girl” 

I looked at Four and he slightly looked at me before looking back at Eric. 

“You are doing this for two reasons” I said following his stupid little game “because you are jealous of Four and wanted an excuse to get rid of him or because of me taking no notice of your lame attempt to flirt with me, uh?” 

“Don’t flatter yourself, stiff”

Eric hit my stomach and Four pointed at him with the gun. I treid to recover myself. 

“CHOOSE, FOUR! DO IT!” Eric shouted. 

Every leader was looking at him. I couldn’t do this to him. I looked at Tori and she looked at me. ‘Stay safe’ she articulated with her lips. What was that mean? Was Four really thinking about saving me? He began to point at her with the gun. 

‘Sorry’ I articulated back at her and I pushed Tori with all the strength that I had left. She fell and I stood in her place, the gun pointing at my head. Four’s mouth opened and Eric began to laugh. 

“You are full of surprises, stiff... Do it Four”

Four looked into my eyes while I tried to hold back my tears. His eyes... I was going to die looking into those beautiful eyes. I closed my eyes and the night we spent together came across my mind. I rememebered the taste of his lips as I opened my eyes and with all the strength that I could gain, I said...

“Do it, Four... DO IT”  

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 137

Trying to figure out Author’s notes is hard.... Sometimes I just don’t have anything pithy to say, or have too much to say and don’t know where to put it all.

Obviously I am an overthinker.

So, for the sake of everyone reading: Let’s cut to the Shoutouts!

The obvious first: @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, @anotherusrname, and @charlylimph-blog! I love all of you, you are the best.

Special mentions to: @zommbiebro bc I miss you and hope you’re okay. @nekohuntslight for being the OG person to message me about liking the story (yes, Bael, this is the dirty secret behind why I thought you lived in Australia when we first started talking.... shhhhhh). And alllllll the binge readers who blow up my inbox every day, Iloveyousomuchyoudon’tunderstand. Very much adore all of you, you have no idea how serious I am being right now. I need to go through and make one post just screaming all your names to the universe.

Tyche brought drinks and snacks from my kitchen before flopping on the couch in my quarters. The guys were at work, along with Antoine, but my office was closed down for the day. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” she asked.

“Vati and Hannah have everything planned to the smallest detail,” I shrugged. “They’ve already coordinated with Xio and Evan for all the crowd control and monitoring shifts, and the murals are going up today.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m well aware of the logistics stuff. I literally handle all the staffing for the humans on the Ark, and Antoine was also part of the crowd control conversations.”

“Then why did you ask?” I laughed, grabbing a cracker and carefully stacking cheese and other toppings on it. 

Before I could get it to my mouth, she snatched it and held it out of my reach. “Because I’m asking how you feel. You’re only attending as… well, an attendee. No monitoring, no calling the shots, no working from the floor.”

She surrendered my cracker, but I found myself setting it down, appetite gone. “I’m okay - “

“Lie.” There was suddenly a finger levelled between my eyes like a gun. Just as quickly, it was lowered, and my sister was tilting her head at me. “Come on. You know you can’t lie to me - I’ve known you longer than literally anyone on this ship except yourself.”

“Fine! It’s weird!” I admitted in frustration, standing to pace and shoving my hands through my hair. “My skin is crawling with anxiety, my hands are twitching to snatch up the files and nitpick everything to the smallest detail….”

“Except they locked you out.”

“Except they locked me out, yeah. But I’m pretty sure I could get Derek to let me in, which is why I’ve made a point to tell him not to, no matter how much I ask.” Dropping my hands, I sighed. “But if I ever want to leave this position, I have to let them do this.”

She shrugged and stole my cracker, this time chewing and swallowing before she responded. “You could have kept some involvement in it, you know.”

“Pfft, yeah right. I would have taken it over, and you know that.”

“Yep.”

“Then why even ask.” I dropped back down on the couch.

“‘Cause you needed to hear yourself say it,” she explained, nonchalant as ever, snagging an olive and watching me calmly.

I sat in silence, processing it.  I hated when she outsmarted me like that, especially when she was right. “Can I at least eat first?”

She laughed and let it go, telling me how well the murals for the Festival were coming.  I hadn’t even gotten to - allowed myself - to see the designs, and the more Tyche talked about them, the more I wanted to see them.  By the time I finished my share of our snack, I decided to check out the progress.

We finally made our way to the decks where the Festival would take place, and I thought Tyche was going to die laughing at the way I gaped. The alcoves where the vendors would stage looked the same on first glance, but a closer look revealed very subtle shapes added that would give them a more savage, wild look in the right lighting. Metal sconces had been added to hold what looked like torches, but with special light emitters to simulate open flame. As we walked further, swirls of color revealed themselves slowly, first in light, curling tendrils, but slowly sharpening and taking on a more angular shape, twisting together into phantasmal images that vanished as soon as you tried to focus on them.

“It’s like walking through a garden, or a rainforest, but when I turn my head, I’m in a city.”

“Right?” she laughed as we came around the final corner. 

At this point, we were surrounded by this mural.  Just up ahead, there was a messy head of black hair tied back with a green piece of cloth. Bare feet and arms show smears of paint, and overalls covered a tank top - that, or the cloth for the hair had formerly been sleeves, I couldn’t tell.  One hand propped up on hips while the other hung down, holding a very familiar paint pen.

“Christ on a triscuit, Vati, this is incredible,”  I gasped softly.

She turned and smirked at me over her shoulder. “Not yet, but it will be when I finish.”

“I mean, all of it. The sconces…”

“Those were Hannah and Ivan.” Parvati walked over and touched one with her finger tip, stroking it gently.

Tyche made an impressed noise. “I’m only a little shocked that he had enough time.”

“The materials are on loan from the engineering departments, and we wanted them to be rather rough in the finishing. It helped. Sophia, no matter how curious you are, please do not lick the walls.”

A giggle bubbled up through my chest. “The thought never crossed my mind. I was trying to put together all the flavor profiles here. It’s… a lot.”

“Forgive me if I focused more on color than how the walls would taste. I don’t generally cook, remember.”

I stared down a swirl of pomegranate, popcorn, and gochujang. The colors - blue, pink, and yellow, respectively - worked well together, but the thought of the flavors made my stomach churn. “I solemnly swear not to lick the walls,” I promised. “How much of this are you expecting to still be up by the third night?”

“We have a team that will specifically come touch up the mural in specific places the morning before the second day.”

Tyche turned toward me and away from her study of the art. “Also, you would be surprised how much paint is on the walls. It will take a lot for Else to eat it all, once they are allowed in the area.”

“Before you ask,” Parvati cut me off. “We just asked them nicely. Well, Sam and Derek did.  They’ve become quite the ersatz diplomats to Else.” 

“Anything left?”

“Hannah is putting the final touches on the curtains for the alcoves and the seating areas. She’ll have a team installing them tonight once I finish.”

It was clever, and explained why she was only touching up part of the mural halfway between now and the closing of the event. “You two have really put your stamp on it.”

“Feel better?” She held one hand up gesturing at the entire entire project, eyebrow arched  to show me that she hadn’t been fooled for a moment.

I rubbed my neck, and glanced at her from underneath my eyelashes. “Busted, I guess.”

“That would imply that anyone had believed your charade,” she smirked.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around us again. “I honestly do. I could never have done all this. Holding on would have…”

“Kept you in a position you frankly hate,” Parvati interrupted gracefully. “It’s the same reason Sebastian went back to the Undine. He’s passionate about it, and it shows in the quality of his work.” When I gaped in insult, she held up a hand. “Not everyone can succeed through fear of failing and a determination that things be done right if they must be done at all.”

“Everyone talking about me needing to retire, like I’m old or something,” I joked, throwing my hands into the air.  “Physically, I’m only thirty-five.”

Tyche nodded to concede my point. “What about the food? I haven’t seen a menu come out yet.”

The change in topic made Parvati’s face collapse. “What? It should have gone out yesterday…” She flicked open her datapad, which flickered from the overspray that covered it. Frantically scrolling, she groaned. “This was scheduled, why didn’t it send?”

“Did you check the date?” I asked calmly. “Specifically the year.”

“Three times, it’s scheduled for tomorrow,” she insisted. “Right here: May seventeenth, twenty-forty aw fuck….”

“At least you got the decade right,” I pointed out. “You wouldn’t believe how many scheduled emails I’ve tried to automatically send out for ten or fifteen years ago.”

She nodded and seemed to get her bearings back. “So, protocol for this is… just send it right now and apologize for the late notification, don’t try to make excuses or explain?”

“Exactly. They won’t care why, they’ll just be excited the list is out.”

With a couple quick gestures, she sent the email and dismissed her datapad. “Okay, that was the last thing, then.” Turning back toward the wall she was working on before, she waved to us over her shoulder. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I really do need to finish this up. Thank you for coming to see everything… it was oddly reassuring to have both of you give us your stamp of approval before the Festival instead of making us wait until after.”

“For the record, you two have always had my stamp of approval, or I wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep my nose out of it.” I knew she couldn’t see me, but I still smiled. “We’ll catch up with you after the Food Festival.  Remember: both of you need to plan on taking the day off afterwards. I’m serious.  Have your unofficial advisors drop in and chat about everything, that’s fine. But no actual work, and I won’t let either of you see the survey results until the second day after. So rest.”

“Got it, boss lady. Have a good night!”

Tyche and I turned and headed back to my quarters. We remained silent as we took in all the preparations that had been done, waving to the handful of vendors who were bringing their supplies in already. Once we were back in normal corridors, the silence broke almost immediately.

“I think they’ve got this,” Tyche suggested nonchalantly.

“Oh, I know they do.”

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[darylwillfightnatureforcarol]

Just finished watching the rest of the episodes. Obviously, there will be spoilers for all of the bonus episodes, including Here's Negan. Here's my thoughts. WARNING for some negativity:

Home Sweet Home:

Kind of a blah episode. Half of it seemed to be a 'walking in the woods simulator'. Don't have any eagerness for another rival group. I'm sick of the people vs people storylines. We should go back to basics for a while, just fighting the dead. This is just recycling the same storylines.

Enjoyed Maggie and Daryl's chat in the container (though I just know it ignited crack shippers). Was it just me or was Lauren Cohan's accent weird? Like, is it because she's been away from the show that she can't remember how to do it the way she used to? It just sounded off the whole time to me, like she was trying to sound more country than Maggie has in the past.

Liked Daryl seeing Hershel, though I wish the scene had been longer. It looks like we're continuing the trend of having 'legacy' kids around without giving them a personality like they do with RJ.

Liked Daryl and Kelly's interactions in this episode. It did annoy me how they wrote Kelly running off on her own in the woods. Like, you guys literally wrote her getting lost and losing her hearing not even a handful of episodes ago. Why would she risk doing that, knowing there was a chance it could happen again? Sure she wants to find her sister, but I don't think anyone in the group--Daryl especially--would have opposed to going with her. Annoying writing again.

By the way, I can't not point out that the spoilers for this were so anti-Carol. The way it sounded through spoilers made it sound as if Maggie was pissed at Carol for letting Negan out when it was clear that she understood Carol's decision (she was just irritated that Negan was out at all).

Find Me:

I won't go into a full rant about this episode. You can find that on my page. I'll just discuss a few things.

First of all, I really liked the banter between Caryl at the start. It was the kind of content we've been wanting for a while.

We probably all saw it this way but Leah was a Carol replacement. No doubt about it. Carol was 'happy' so Daryl tried to move on with the next best thing (well, according to him at least).

Shipping aside, the relationship and build up to it between Daryl and Leah was so bland and generic. The woman literally seemed to have no personality apart from 'I live in the woods and I lost my son'. I actually rolled my eyes when she started explaining about not having a good family growing up. It was like watching Mary Sue fanfic play out on screen.

I don't want to rant too much but I have to say again, you can't just have a relationship blossom that generically with a character who has clearly struggled with intimacy for a good chunk of his life. It was literally inserting Daryl into the plot of any other cheesy boy meets girl romance. If you are going to do something like this, you need to do it realistically. There should have been more of a struggle there for Daryl. For pete's sake, Daryl's love life (or lack thereof) has been a point of discussion for so many years. You can't just rewrite that lore with some half assed meet-cute storyline.

Oh and I can't forget to say another big fuck you to the end of this episode. Seriously, fuck the shit Daryl spouted at Carol. That shit would have worked for S2 Daryl but not this one.

Okay I'll stop myself there or I'll just keep going. Seriously, I don't think I'll run out of things to bitch about for this episode.

One more:

This episode was okay. I'm not a fan of Gabriel, so I didn't really enjoy the focus being on him. I do like Aaron though, so that was a saving point.

No offense if you're a Gabriel fan but I found this episode kind of pointless. The message was relevant of course but the whole thing seemed a bit hoky to me. Especially the whole 'talking at the bad guy until they have a change of heart'. I can see that this was an important turning point for Gabriel but honestly, I just don't care enough about his character to appreciate it. Felt bad for Aaron though. You can tell he's trying so hard to hold onto humanity.

Splinter:

Probably gonna upset people with this but I'm not really a Princess fan (though Paola Lazaro is great). The episode had an interesting concept and I know it was to try to set up for the Commonwealth or the CRM etc. I just found the way they went about it to be too dragged out without much substance. Even the twist with finding out that the others were figments of her imagination didn't save it for me. I like the concept of seeing things through Princess' mindset and it could have worked well but we just didn't really get any storyline there. I think the only thing I enjoyed was when she talked about her family (she should chat to Daryl. There would certainly be some common ground). Gotta admit though, Ezekiel and his Walker posse was kind of hilarious.

Diverged:

Loved it for the most part. Who knew we needed Carol vs a rat? I certainly didn't but I'm glad I got it. Also Carol smashing that wall to pieces was so badass and kind of hot. Anyone else feel like that? No? Okay...

I enjoyed the comedic moments in this episode. Loved Carol hanging out with Dog and Dog being a menace. Appreciated seeing more of Daryl's room (Why did he have a pirate book though? There had to be a point, right? WAIT, I just realised as I was typing this what it is. It's a reference to when Carol invited him to go out on the boat with her and they would be 'pirates' 😢)

Daryl certainly got a collection of multitools, didn't he? Seriously though, that scene where he was just walking away from the walkers was hilarious. It's literally what people have been saying for years--that the walkers are too slow.

Okay, now let's get to the bad parts I didn't like. Hated the start. They were so stilted and awkward and the fact that Daryl didn't apologize pissed me off. I don't care what Carol said, she didn't deserve any of that shit he said in Find Me. He knows better than anyone why she has done what she has done.

This storyline they seem to be running with for Carol is starting to piss me off. It's obvious they're trying to go for a redemption arc for her when she shouldn't need to be redeemed. She didn't do anything wrong. Yes, she made mistakes but think about how you would be if you had lost so much.

Maggie is being lorded as a hero but remember, she behaved pretty much the same as Carol did in S7,8,9. But no one labelled her as a villain or a nuisance. No, Maggie was strong and a leader for stepping up and making a stand.

I'm really dreading the last season. It's obvious they're planning for Daryl and Carol's rift in their relationship to be a main arc. We probably won't see them reconcile until the end of the season where Daryl'll be like 'Alright, I don't hate you anymore, let's go to New Mexico.' That will annoy the shit out of me.

Here's Negan:

Mixed feelings about this one. I enjoyed seeing Negans backstory. Also props to the makeup team. They did a great job making JDM look younger. The thing I didn't like was the flashbacks within flashbacks. It made it hard to follow at times. Still, JDM and Hilary Burton Morgan had great onscreen chemistry (which they should, of course). I was surprised to see Laura pop up. I never thought she would have been one of the first Saviours.

Can't not mention how good Carol's hair looked in this episode. Please let us have this wig more often. It's so cute compared to the other frizzy one.

Also, I really don't give a shit about the drama between Maggie and Negan. There can't be a peaceful solution to it. There's no way Maggie will ever be okay with Negan being alive. Carol's right. If he stays, Maggie will (try) to kill him. If they have them come to an understanding next season, it will be super out of character. Same as when they kept pushing the Daryl/Negan team up. No way, no how, can either Maggie or Daryl look past what happened to Glenn.

Well, there are my thoughts on the episodes. I seriously battled against my anxiety to even sit and watch these. I was dreading watching Find Me especially for obvious reasons. It was awful but not as bad as I expected. I still wanted to throw my laptop out the window though.

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

Quarantine

Author’s Note: Okay guys I had this idea when I was using the bathroom and couldn’t get it out of my head, so I had to start writing it. Shoutout to my friends in the discord chat, you guys are awesome :’) I’m writing this one in 1st person to get more practice with that- hope you guys don’t mind.

Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Technically I wasn’t supposed to be going out anywhere unless it was essential. Was being bored out of your mind and going to see your crush considered essential? I hope so, because I’m about at his door. 

Spencer and I had been flirting back and forth for a while, but nothing has happened yet. I’m not sure it ever will. Regardless, he is still my best friend, and he is the only person I want to see right now. 

I knocked timidly on his front door, the butterflies building in my stomach and flying up to my chest. 

Imagine a swarm a butterflies in one of those tornado simulator things at some museums and science centers. That’s what this boy made me feel every time I was in the same room as him. 

The door being unlocked threw me out of my thoughts. It opened wide, and there was Spencer. PJs on and coffee in hand. Not to mention messy hair. 

I drew in a sharp breath before letting some of the butterflies escape into words. 

“Spencer Reid, is that you? I’m honestly shocked you aren’t wearing a mask and gloves right now. Or donning a tactical belt full of disinfectant.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes and started to close the door. 

“Well, I guess you can’t come in then.”

I reached out a hand and pushed the door back open. Maybe a little too excitedly. 

“No, no please let me in. I’m so bored Reid I’m losing my mind.” 

He gave me a smile and opened the door back up all the way.

“There’s coffee made in the kitchen.” 

He stepped aside and let me in. I took a deep breath as I entered his apartment. It smelled like coffee of course. But besides that it smelled like books. It smelled like warmth and comfort. Spencer always had this effect on me.

I set my things down and went into the kitchen. Spencer followed behind me, his slippers making soft shuffling noises on the floor. 

He eyed me as I began making my coffee. 

“You want some coffee with that creamer, (Y/N)?” 

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. 

“That’s funny coming from you, Mr. I Need 30 Packs of Sugar in My Small Coffee.”

Spencer laughed quietly, his grin opening up his face and making it seem like there was light coming from within him. 

I turned away and got back to my coffee, scrunching my face together tightly. There was only so much my heart could take when it came to Spencer Reid. 

Once I was finished, I turned and leaned against the counter holding my coffee in both my hands. Probably a mistake because I was already sweating bullets and the heat from the coffee made it seem like I was melting. 

“You want to watch a movie or something?” 

I nodded and gave him a small smile before following him to the couch. 

He turned on some foreign film in some obscure language. Honestly, I was all for that because that language is essentially how my thoughts sound right now.

We sat down on opposite ends of the couch. Of course, I wanted to be closer. But I’m sure he would rather sit by himself. 

About halfway through the movie, I started getting really bored. I glanced over at Spencer and noticed he wasn’t even watching the movie. He was flipping through a book. 

“Movie no good?” I asked him.

He looked up at me and closed the book.

“Of course it is, it’s a classic. I’m just multitasking.” 

I giggled and grabbed my bag from off the floor. 

“What are you looking for?” He asked me as I dug through the contents.

“My nail polish. I’ve been wanting to paint them and since you have to show me up and read a book and watch a movie at the same time, I want to multitask too. Hope the smell doesn’t bother you.” 

He watched me as I unscrewed the top and dipped the brush into the polish. I thought he would stop watching me once I started painting, but he kept on. 

I bit my lip in concentration as I painted. I was never very good at it, but since all the salons were closed, this was my only option. 

It was then I noticed the movie had been paused. The room was eerily silent now. It was also then that I noticed Spencer had moved closer to me. 

I looked up at him in confusion. 

“Are you that bored that you’re watching me paint my nails?” 

He shifted and sat up a little straighter. 

“I have to admit that I am bored. I’ve read this book and watched this movie countless times. Watching you is way more entertaining.”

I wasn’t sure if he meant that as a compliment or not, but I blushed a bit nonetheless. God, I hope he didn’t notice. 

“And… I was just thinking.”

I expected him to keep going but his sentence ended there. 

“Thinking about…?” I asked him. 

“I was thinking I could do a much better job at painting your nails than you.” 

He…what? Did he want to paint my nails? Or was he just messing with me?

The butterflies from earlier came back, but this time they were telling me to do something. They were telling me to go for it. Maybe what happens in quarantine stays in quarantine. 

One could only hope.

With a small boost of confidence, I handed Spencer the brush and the bottle and held out my hand expectantly. He glanced down at my hand and back at the things he was holding.

“Let’s see it then, Reid. Put your money where your mouth is.” 

He took a breath and looked at me for a second before dipping the brush in the bottle and setting it down. 

“You’re on.” 

With the pressure of a ladybug landing on the flower, he held my hand in his as he began to paint. 

Sparks flew from the tips of my fingers all the way to my heart. He was holding my hand. Not like, holding it…but close enough. I had never felt his hands in mine before. He wasn’t very touchy. But this…this was my new addiction. He made me feel so at home. 

I glanced down and looked at him as he painted. The end of his tongue stuck out just the tiniest bit and his eyebrows were furrowed together like when he was solving a case. 

Time seemed to slow and my heart felt like it stopped when I realized we were knee to knee. I had never been this close to him before, and this only deepened my feelings for him when I found out just how much his closeness affected me. 

“Oops,” he said quietly. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He gripped my hand gently and turned it towards me so I could see. There was a streak of polish up the side of one of my fingers. 

“Spencer,” I whined, “Really?”

He chuckled and held his other hand up in defeat. He was still holding mine with his other one. Had he meant to? 

“I guess you win then. It’s a good thing I don’t need to know this skill. At least the color looks good on you.”

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and ears once again. Ugh. How embarrassing. 

He shifted his position a little and let go of my hand. Without his, it felt like I had stuck it in the freezer. 

“Do you want me to…do the other hand?” 

I smiled shyly, trying to force the blush I knew he had seen away. I might have been imagining it, but I think he blushed some too. 

“Of course,” I said with a smile. “You might need to practice before you get a girlfriend though.” 

He took my other hand and started painting again.

“I am practicing.” 

My heart fluttered. I heard the butterflies again. 

Spencer finished that hand and let go after placing it gently against the couch. Then it was silent. 

I glanced down at my hands and played with my fingers nervously, careful not to smear the polish. I wanted this to stay on forever. It was awful, don’t get me wrong. But it was a reminder of Spencer. 

Spencer cleared his throat. “Sorry I did a bad job.” 

“Spencer you did awesome. I don’t ever want it to come off.” 

Here goes nothing. 

“I uh… Do you want to maybe um-.”

“I do. I’ve been wanting to,” he cut me off. 

He leaned over and gently placed his hands on either side of my head. And then he kissed me. 

It felt like the movies. When the girl kicks up her leg in the back and just melts into the guy she’s kissing. 

It felt like a thunderstorm on a hot summer night. 

It felt like electricity.

It felt like love. 

His lips were so gentle and soft. They were everything I had ever dreamed of. 

He hadn’t moved at all yet. Just simply placed his lips on mine. But when he felt me lean into it, he kissed me with more pressure. 

His hands gripped my face a little harder, his mouth moved against mine a little harder. 

My arms were wrapped around him and my fingers were tangled in his hair. I had dreamed of feeling his hair. Almost as much as I had dreamed about kissing him. 

The room got hot, and I couldn’t help myself. I licked the bottom of his lip without thinking. 

He tensed up and I pulled away immediately. Now I’ve gone and ruined it. 

“Spencer, I- I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” he said breathlessly, “Just…do it again.” 

I giggled out of nerves and excitement and launched myself at him. 

Maybe quarantine wasn’t a bad thing. 

[our-kendrick]

Anna Kendrick on life, love, sex toys and COVID-19

©: Janet R. Nepales

Read here, or below.

Talk about the relationships of mothers and daughters which is sometimes more difficult than the relationship between daughters and fathers.

The relationship between Darby and her mother, we don't know a lot about it until a little later in the show. And I love it so much. It has such an impact on who Darby is, and you really see that once you get to know her mother. And we get to know her mother even more as the show goes on.

There's an episode where we really get into Darby's relationship with her mother. And I was so surprised and happy. You know, happy might be the wrong word, but I was so amazed at how many women on the set, on the crew came up to me and they were like, this is my mother, this is my relationship with my mother.

Darby has a difficult relationship with her mother so it made me sad, but I definitely felt that made me really proud of the show that we were making, and that it resonated with so many people. And it also made me call my mother and say how grateful I am for what a wonderful mom she is.

There's a scene where Darby breaks down crying, and her mother doesn't know how to comfort her. And this happened a lot throughout the show; that it brought up a lot of personal stuff for me, but not necessarily to do with the content of the show.

That was one example where I have a close relationship with my mother and she's so empathetic but just having the experience of breaking down crying and having somebody just go like, what is your problem? That's something that reminded me of relationships that I was in when I was much younger. And just how painful that experience is and how grateful I am that there are things that I don't accept any more from people.

I expect empathy from people if we're going to have a relationship. It made me grateful that my mother modeled that empathy for me. Because if you don't have an empathetic home life, it's hard for you to know that you deserve empathy. The relationship between mothers and daughters is so complicated and so fraught sometimes. This show made me grateful for the way that my mother really modeled what empathy was for me.

What are the red flags for a woman on deciding relationships?

I remember somebody telling me when I was maybe, 14 or 15, I remember them saying it was a really specific example. And yet I have thought about it in almost any relationship I've ever like entered into or if I'm on a first date or something. Somebody told me when I was 14, if you're ever in a car with a guy, and he's driving, and as a joke, he lets go the wheel and makes you grab the wheel, because he's goofing around or something like that is not a guy that you want to be with. He might think, hey, I'm just joking. Why are you being so sensitive? We're just having fun. I wouldn't have let the car crash. But really, he's testing your boundaries. He's testing like what you're gonna put up with. And he's trying to make you uncomfortable. And it was such a weird, specific example. But I feel like I've had moments in my life where I'm like, oh, this is the guy letting go of the wheel to see what I'll do.

This is silly, but I dated a guy when I was 19, who tickled me all the time. And I don't like being tickled. I feel very claustrophobic, I panic and I don't like it. And I kept saying, this is a problem for me. Please don't do it. And he kept doing it and I broke up with him.  And he thought I was being crazy because I broke up with him for tickling me.

I was like no, I broke up with you because you didn't respect me. I asked you for something and you did it to make me uncomfortable. I feel little things like that are so specific and you never know the exact situation it's going to be, but I'm really glad that somebody told me that when I was younger because it has come up a lot for me over the years.

Your show is titled “Love Life.” So let’s talk about your love life. Your first crush, best relationship you’ve had, worst breakup?

My first crush was in elementary school, and his name was Robbie. And I told him that I had a crush on him. And he told me that I was too short. So that was very heartbreaking for me. And now I really like being short. I actually love being a petite woman, that's fine with me.

My worst break-up was something that we tried to put in the show in a very, wait, that was like, a lot of stuff in the show is stuff that I mined from my own life, but it's all changed just enough so that I don't get angry phone calls from ex-boyfriends.

So, the worst breakup was something that I really wanted to put in the show. And I felt it was important to talk about the fact that I feel like most women don't make it out of their 20's without dating a guy who's a little scary. And you don't have to be in physical danger to be able to ask your friends for help. I was young and this was a short relationship, but he started to feel scary to me. And I felt like I was being dramatic. I felt like if I told my friends about it, they would say that I was overreacting. And it wasn't until later that I realized that my friends would have been happy to help me. And, luckily, that was a relationship that I got out of after only five or six months.

But in the show, for Darby, that relationship is longer. And so it was important to me to show that things can get uncomfortable and scary in relationships, and threatening. But sometimes when the good times are so good, it's really hard to leave. So yeah, a lot of the best and worst stuff of my relationship history is sort of in the show. Hopefully in a way where I have plausible deniability.

I watched your other TV show “Dummy.” Have you found a new appreciation for sex toys after having done that?

Well, I think during “Dummy,” which is about a sex doll for those who don't know, it did give me a new appreciation for people who are owners of sex dolls. Because it turns out that a sex doll is really heavy-lifting, way heavier than you think it's going to be. So, I feel like there's a level of commitment there to the people who enjoy sex dolls. No judgement here.

So, I tip my cap to those people.  And actually, the director of “Dummy,” who created all the episodes of “Dummy,” her names is Tricia Brock, She also directed the Danny Coupons episode on “Love Life.” The one episode that opens with Darby using a sex toy. So, I was like, Tricia, you just like to have me doing something gross every time we work together.

You have lots of intimate scenes with all your love interests in the show. So talk about your views on doing nudity or intimate scenes.

It's funny that you say that because when we started doing the show, it dawned on me that in every single episode, I was gonna be doing like a kissing scene or a sex scene with someone brand new. Like each episode is a different person. So, that was nerve-wracking, but my personal feelings on nudity have stayed the same, which is that I'm not really interested in nudity for me. But I've never had a problem with simulated sex scenes. To me, that feels like that's about the character whereas I only get one body so nudity just isn't for me.

I was just so totally grateful each new episode that each cast member that we had and we had so many talented guys come on the show to say nothing of the women on the show, who like blow me away so talented. But I was very grateful that every person that Darby dates on the show is like such a class act, such a good actor, such a professional. Because it was definitely weird to know we're going to meet, and then immediately start filming. And within a week, we are going to be in bed pretending to have sex. So I was just very grateful that everybody was the coolest.

Tell us where you are right now and what are you doing for your mental and physical health during this time.

I'm in my house in LA. I'm by myself. I think it comes in waves. I could say I've been exercising every day and cooking and doing everything. I don't know what the experience has been for you, but there's definitely been days where I feel really helpless. I think that's probably something we're all dealing with. Just that feeling that something really terrible is happening and I can't help. I can't do anything and it makes you feel really powerless. You're trapped in your house and I definitely have gone through different cycles of letting that get me down and then just trying to let it happen rather than say a lot of other people have it worse than you, stop feeling sorry for yourself. So, just letting the bad feelings exist and knowing that they'll pass and that we will all get through this together.

I do feel grateful for the sense of community that exists even though we can't be together. Getting on Zoom chats, or Skype, or whatever the platform is and talking to my family, talking to my friends. Twice a week I do family movie nights. So, my parents are in Maine and my brothers in New York, and we pick a movie and we all press play at the same time. We watched that Robert Redford movie “The Natural” and “Princess Bride” and movies like that. We're all texting each other during the movie, which normally would be a no, but under the circumstances is really sweet. So, we're finding creative ways to stay connected.

Love Life’s first three episodes will debut May 27 on HBO Max, and the following seven will stream the Thursdays following.

[junejalow]

“You have a daughter!?” Kali/Smoke

Bringing this over from my Archiveofourown prompt requests! Hope you enjoy! This prompt/dabble is for thelordchanka with the prompt "You have a daughter?"

The base was buzzing with work, recruit's heading out for last minute flights since they weren't needed for the upcoming cross training session and missions Harry had lined up. Most of them would require select operators, one's who wouldn't be able to leave for the holidays. Upon a collective request among the select few, three hours of negotiating (mainly whining and complaining) Harry finally relented on his restriction of having civilians on base. Although he was still reluctant about the entire choice all together, he had very strict rules. 1) No pranks. 2) Armory stays locked. 3) Kids/teenagers must stay with parent(s) at all time. 4) Common room and training/simulation room may be used as forms of entertainment. The last rule strictly applied as long as the kids remember that everything they see must stay a secret, he could trust the operators to reinforce this. After all, Rainbow didn't technically exist. A ghost in the shadow of every military unit on earth. They handled situations and missions no one will ever know about and the few that were public? Covered as special ops or joint missions. Everyone in Rainbow were all highly trained soldiers hand picked from even the best operators. They never disappointed Harry while on the job, but more humane moments like now? Well, it was just a simple reminder that they were still human behind their harden military mind sets. 

Kali was still trying to process the information she just heard from the table behind her, Smoke had a daughter? The crazed chemist actually had family, much less a child. How in the world did someone like him maintain a lasting relationship enough to reproduce. Ignoring Ace's conversation with Wamai, she focused back on the SAS group behind them. 

"She didn't like the idea of taking Christmas break but I'm pretty sur she'll love being here, I'm always telling her about everyone here. Despite her studies, Charlie does love hearing them. Surprise right?" Smoke mused as he fiddled with a picture he kept in his wallet, staring at it fondly. He had rarely spoke to anyone outside the SAS about his adoptive daughter, she was in her last year of high school and scoring straight A's and would graduate with honors. Charlie was the embodiment of everything Smoke couldn't be when he was growing up and so much more. He loved seeing her view of the world and everything she was learning, she had taught him a lot about life that he would never have thought of looking at in a thousand years. She was his connection to being human, a safe haven away from his crazy job. 

 "You're acting like we haven't mess the lass before." Sledge replied after swallowing a spoon full of mash potato's. They had met her once before when Smoke had to go check on his apartment a few miles away following a series of break in's. She acted nothing like the chemist aside from sharing his twisted sense of humor. Charlie basically kept him out of trouble when he had leave time from work. 

"Yeah but she hasn't met the rest of this lot, wonder what she'll think." 

"You worry too much." Mute mumbled beside him, a neutral frown on his face over the fact that Thatcher had taken his phone minutes earlier so the young operator would eat instead of burying his face in the device. More than once he had complained later in the day of being hungry because he missed dinner or breakfast for that same reason. Thatcher of course scolded him every time but taking his phone was a last ditch effort to get the man to eat properly. He didn't need the defender light headed during training from lack of food. 

"I'm not worrying too much! I just don't trust most of these barmy bastards not to try something stupid when everyone shows up. Bandit hundred percent I don't trust, he'll twist her beautiful little mind into something terrible."

"Yet you're just as bad, ever think about that or has Doc's scolding taught you nothing?" Thatcher piped in from his spot across the table. 

"All he's bloody taught me is how much I can get away with before I have to hide." Smoke chuckled, putting the picture of his daughter back in his wallet. 

Kali made a mental note to ask him later about the entire conversation, she was on good enough grounds with the defender that they could have a decent and friendly conversation when they crossed paths. Soon enough the cafeteria slowly became devoid of noise. Most of the operator's were calling home to invite whoever could make it or simply wishing their family and friends happy holidays. Kali on the other hand decided to hit the training room for awhile, not surprised to see a few operators spread out doing their own training. She listened in on different conversations as she bedded down to work on her sniper aim. Nothing caught her interest though, most of the banter was work related or Christmas gift ideas. She had learned from Mira that most of the operators exchanged gifts as a way of team building, an idea Harry had implemented soon after his employment as the new director. 

She had to give the man some credit, he surely knew how to bring a team together. Most of his tactic's were questionable at best but even she could the good intent behind each choice, he was even able to pull Doc and Lion to even ground and now the two seemed like friends all over again despite the random bickering they still did with Montague or Castle playing peace keeper as usual. Some small part of her felt bad for them, they were all adults but some parts of them still shined like children fighting over a toy. It was a vast difference from the attention to detail they all showed in the field though, she had heard Jackal mention it was like flipping switches off and on in their minds. Essentially they were all two sides of the same coin, one side a passive civilian living day to day while the other side was a ruthless soldier who wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger on someone wishing to cause harm. 

Personally she never really understood where she placed in that category but as long as the job was done who cared? She has taken out countless dangerious men and women alike. She seriously wouldn't have her life any other way. She sighed after spending the rubber bullets she acquired from the training gun rack and headed back to the main building, she noticed Smoke hanging around the common room and remembered the conversations from earlier, deciding now was a good time as any.

"Porter, mind a chat?" She asked as she approached the man relaxing against the bar across, tending to a half drank beer, the room from the tv that was currently playing some nature documentary. Dark chocolate brown eyes met her hazel eyes, a question playing across them before he motioned to the seat next to him. 

"I can fancy a talk, what's on your mind Kali?"

"You have a daughter?"

Smoke nearly choked on his beer at the straight forward question, he shouldn't expect less from her but at the same time he didn't think anyone had been listening in. Each table/group always stuck to their own conversations and rarely asked or interrupted anyone on theirs. 

"I didn't think you were bloody listening in! I could barely hear my own thoughts over Ace's loud mouth." A small smile tugged at her lips, Ace could very well be loud and self centered at times but he was a man that truly cared about other's safety above his own, rushing headlong into the worst of a situation just to make sure no one needed having. A natural thrill and need to protect and serve. 

She still owed him greatly for saving her that one time. "I happened to catch a small snippet. So I grew carious. Never heard you talk so fondly over something other than those canisters of yours." 

Smoke rubbed at the scar at the base of his hair line, no one at base had ever dared to ask him about it. Hell they all had their fair share of scar's, physically, mentally and emotionally. He simply waved the question off all the time and gave the same short handed reply. It was work related. Of course a lot of the operators around base never bought into it but out of respect for privacy no one ever pushed the subject. 

"She's not... blood. I adopted her years ago before I got invited to Rainbow. Never saw myself being with anyone but I've always wanted a kid, someone that could show me the world in a different view right? Charlie's done just that. She's excelling in school, straight A's and honor's. Nothing like her old man." He chuckled softly before taking a swing of his beer, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Charlie she... see's everything so bloody different than I do. I've forgotten what a civilian's view on life is, I don't see everything the same as when I was a kid. I was too busy exploring, a free spirit I was. That kid on the other hand, smart head on her shoulders. Been teaching me a lot over the last few years I didn't even know were things. Like all these new math and science categories she's studying, blew my mind at first. Seems like they expect them to know college level stuff before they even graduate. But what about you Kali? Got any family? Husband? Wife? Siblings? Kids?"

Kali slowly took in every ounce of information the man offered, she never really considered Smoke an open guy but at the same time there were rare moments each person just needed an outlet. She figured this was one of those moments. He was going to expose someone he held close to his dangerious line of work, granted she wasn't going to be in harms way by any means and neither would the other kids. A bigger smile graced her features, her hazel eyes settling on the tv across the room. 

"No, nothing of the sort. I'm married to my work as most people say. I don't have time for any relationships, to me it's a burden I don't need." 

Smoke scoffed and sat up a bit straighter in his seat, "You're missing out then Shah, Charlie's the best thing that ever happened to me." He told her with a warm grin, "Give it some thought, might change your mind after you meet her." 

The next few days flowed by quick, families arriving as they could. Most of them were settled in spare rooms while most operators didn't mind sharing dorms with their families. Currently the cafeteria was buzzing with chatter and stories being tossed around while a few decorated the base for Christmas, of course the chaos worsened over a snide comment Bandit made to Smoke. Before the man could retort it, Charlie already had him by the ear and was basically dragging the full grown man away from the fight all the while scolding him. 

"You promised me you wouldn't fight with uncle Dom while I was here and you almost did it anyway! I seriously can't leave you alone for one second!" Charlie argued. 

"I'm sorry! I promise for real this time! I won't bloody do it again I swear!" Porter tried to protest.

"Fat chance dad!" 

Kali chuckled quietly to herself because Wamai who had his hands clasped behind his back, "Rethinking what Porter said about family?"

"As far as I'm concerned Wamai? this is my family."