#hi i got angry in a voice call and needed somewhere to point the anger

[cyphyra]

the more i see of the top streamers who do irl stuff and the sheer absence of knowledge outside of what they do online is genuinely staggering

i think just the other day i watched a clip of some guy not knowing how boiling water works, trying to use bottled water, then has to be convinced that tap water is boiled to kill whatever shit might be in it, and then goes "ok but how do we know when the water is boiling" like, what. how do you not know how water boils that's literally like, 2nd or 3rd grade knowledge.

that combined with the sheer amount of entirely playing videos from youtube in-stream with no commentary and even leaving while they play like it's dangling keys in front of their audience to keep views rolling makes me convinced that a good 70% of the top streamers are only streamers cause it's easy and people like to laugh at them being stupid

[aneurinallday]

Gibson and the Shivering Soldier

Chapter 2: Un Homme, Deux Ombres

William found himself in a quieter part of town - small houses and fenced-off yards, all standing in neat rows. Most people were still awake and abuzz, but the chaos of the boats’ arrival was starting to subside. Both soldiers and locals alike were settling down for the evening, eager to rest.

As he made his way downhill, he glanced up at the terraced houses above him. A middle-aged woman was taking in her laundry from her balcony. She was in a hurry - she must’ve forgotten her chores amid all the pandemonium.

“Excuse me,” William called out, “What time is it?”

“Midnight, love,” she called back, “You got somewhere to sleep?”

“No. Do you have a room to spare?”

“Not here. Sorry.”

“I only need to lie down. I’ll sleep on the floor if you’ll let me.”

“There’s no space, dear. I’ve already got a soldier sleeping here, and two boys of my own.”

“Ah. Pardon me for bothering you.”

“It’s no bother. Have you been to the railway yard yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, head on down there. There’s trains ready to take you boys home - you’ll have missed the last one, but there’ll be more.”

“Can you point me the way?”

“Just follow the street, and when it ends, keep heading in a straight line,” she said, pointing west, “It’s only ten minutes on foot.”

“Thank you.”

William began to walk. As he went, he basked in the cool night air, in the rustling of the breeze through hedges and flowerbeds, the fragments of overheard conversation, the fleeting smells of cooking which wafted from kitchen windows. Not really observing his surroundings, but rather, soaking in the ambience of civilian life. He heard children playing in their living room, and a few metres on, a woman laughing in an upstairs window - sounds which seemed almost surreal to him now.

After a minute or two, he felt a strange prickle of danger. He sensed, rather than heard, that someone was walking silently behind him.

Quickly turning, he saw the darkened shape of a fellow soldier, tailing him at a distance too close for comfort. Upon being noticed, the soldier stopped and stood sheepishly in the middle of the road. It was the Frenchman.

“What do you want?” William demanded, “I don’t recall inviting you to accompany me. Did you follow me all this way? Eh? Answer me.”

Gibson didn’t reply.

“Do you speak English? Anglais? No? No Anglais? Of course you don’t.”

William scoffed, turned his back, and continued on his way. After a few metres, he glanced over his shoulder to see Gibson still following him, like a dog at his heels.

“Go back,” William ordered. “You’re not coming with me. Why are you skulking about like a thief?”

Gibson took a hesitant step closer, but the irritation in the Englishman’s voice made him back away again. He was hugging himself for warmth, and shivering.

“Go back!” William repeated, pointing down the dark street. “Just fucking go, alright?”

He walked faster, but Gibson’s presence clung to him like a shadow. William spun around.

“What’s the matter with you? I gave you a bite to eat, so you think I’m your friend now? Is that it? Well, I’m not your friend. I should never have spoken to you.”

Gibson remained stubbornly, frustratingly mute.

A sudden wave of anger welled up in William, and overflowed in the only direction it could: towards the mute Frenchman.

“Fuck off, will you!” William snapped, his gentlemanly demeanour slipping. “Can’t I get a moment’s peace? For fuck’s sake. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve any of this! I’m an officer in His Majesty’s army. I served for years with distinction - I’m a man of integrity and honour. I’m not a deserter who looted the clothes off a corpse to hide himself among honest men!”

Gibson said nothing, but shivered violently.

William’s anger faded as abruptly as it had seized hold. Deep down, he knew he wasn’t angry at Gibson, but at the claustrophobic crowds, at the oppressive smell of bodies and saltwater, at the inescapable sound of the sea. A whole tapestry of horror and chaos and misery, of which Gibson was just one tiny thread.

“For God’s sake,” William muttered.

Then, to his surprise, Gibson broke his silence.

“Je suis désolé,” he said quietly.

“Oh, so you can speak after all?”

Gibson glanced back the way they’d come, as if considering returning. The road led away into darkness. Even if he managed to find his way back to the chippy, he would be no closer to finding a warm place to sleep. And there was no guarantee he wouldn’t cross paths with the soldiers who’d accosted him.

“Well,” William sighed, “We’re both going in the same direction anyway - away from here. Wherever those trains are headed, we’ll both be getting on one eventually. So we might as well go together. Come along, then.”

He beckoned for Gibson to follow. Gibson hesitated, but at William’s encouragement, crept closer. William walked on, with his tag-along a few steps behind him.

Before long, they arrived at Weymouth’s railway station. Long queues of weary soldiers were shuffling slowly onto trains, shepherded along by civilians. As William wandered the length of the platform, past carriage after carriage, he looked through the windows at the crowded interiors. There was barely any standing space, let alone two empty seats.

“We’ll wait for the next one,” he said. “Come along.”

Away from the busy platforms, they found an empty bench and sat down, drawing their jackets closer around themselves for warmth.

“This time tomorrow, we’ll be in warm beds, with a roof over our heads, sleeping off a good supper.”

Gibson didn’t respond. William closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and tried to forget the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves.

Chapter 3: Une Nouvelle Vie

[just-my-type-x]

Tell Me How You Really Feel

Based on Would You by The Vamps

@bronwiebear-brad got u ♥️

"Can you, please, tell me what's wrong with you?", Brad asks me and i take a gulp of my cocktail, trying to ignore his question. "We can't spend the rest of our holiday like this", he sighs and picks up his towel, heading back to the hotel, leaving me on the beach. I sigh and try to take in the beauty of my view, but it angers me more than it relaxes me. I finish my drink, pick up the rest of the stuff and get inside too.

"Bradley", i close the door behind me and he turns around when he hears me, coming back from the balcony. "Why are we on holiday?", i walk past him towards the balcony to put my towel up to dry in the wind. I know he's standing behind me with his arms crossed at his chest, frowned, almost tapping his foot nervously on the floor.

"Trying to save what's left of us?", he answers with an angry tone, which i do not blame him for. "Tell me how you really feel about us, y/n. Because I'm really curious how much you actually want us together anymore.", he sits on the end of the bed, watching me carefully, his teary eyes analysing my face features. I stand in front of him, looking down in his direction, but ditching eye contact.

"How can you be curious of something like that, Bradley?", i scoff and turn my back to him, only to face him again when he starts to speak.

"You don't even call me love, babe, at least tell me to fuck off and i would!", he gets up and comes closer to me, but not as close as a boyfriend. We feel like strangers, act like them and soon, we will be strangers. "If i walked out that fucking door right now, would you even follow me? Would you even miss me or realise that we're done, we're over?", a tear almost falls off his cheek, but he's quick to run his hands over his face. I stay silent for a few seconds, too many, in fact. Brad scoffs and walks to the closet to take his clothes out.

"What are you doing?", i ask, uneasy

"I'm leaving. The trip is paid, you can take the rest of the days to make up your mind. I'll br in Birmingham waiting for your decision", he angrily tosses the clothes on the bed and i catch his arm, turning him to face me.

"Hey, stop. This is not who we are", i raise my voice and he raises his eyebrows.

"You decided this is us, y/n! I seem to not interest you anymore and let's be honest here, you haven't showed one gram of affection towards me ever since i came back from tour. I thought this vacation will be good for us, to get romantic again, but you're colder and colder by the day. Don't go wasting my time when you don't want yours to be wasted either", he takes off his beach shorts and gets dressed quickly in denim shorts and a loose shirt, closing up his suitcase. We fight, i pull him by the arm to stay with me, but i let him go soon after ny first try.

"Have a nice flight, Brad"

"Oh, so it's Brad now. I'll have the best one away from you.", he pushes the suitcase out of the room. "Take care", his voice breaks when closing the door behind him.

🥀🥀🥀

A month later I'm invited to James' birthday party, which i go to feeling like an imposter. I greet everyone and hug my closest friends, making small talk and earning a few apologetical statements from some of them about Brad and i's break up. I look down, trying to dodge eye contact, because lately i realised that the break up was not needed and i was just in a bad place, not being able to provide the relationship what was needed.

I see James and walk over to him, handing him his gift and tightly hugging him, ending up in a long conversation, that felt like hours, not briefly 10 minutes. Kirstie joins us soon after we finish talking about their wedding anniversary vacation.

"I think someone here wants to have some alone time with you", James takes a sip of scotch and points somewhere behind me and i see Brad ignoring a conversation, while he's looking straight in my eyes when i turn around. I excuse myself from James and Kirstie and walk towards him.

He takes me by my hand and walks me out of the big living room and we go right outside the house, in the small garden. I feel my whole body tense, wishing his hand was still in mine.

"I'm sorry", i burst out and Brad laughs

"I've played gamed enough to see through a lie", he takes a sip of gin and looks away from me

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you really sorry? You didn't bother to let me know you're still alive when you got home. I had to call your parents"

"I know", i whisper and look away from him

"You kno-, you know. Wow", he scoffs again and empties his glass, throwing it away from us, breaking somewhere on the pavement. "Did you talk to them about us?"

"i did, yeah. And i really meant it that I'm sorry", i lean on the wall on my back, looking straight ahead

"And what did you tell them? That we're holiday-ing in different parts of the world?", Brad lets out a small laugh and i know the joke was meant to break the tension. "Did your face light up the way it used to?", i look at him and a sad smile is on his face, watching me closely. He comes next to me and lays on the wall like me.

"No, i told them I fucked up. I couldn't lie to them, i was a wreck. I'm an asshole for not talking to you anymore, but i didn't deserve you or your answers. I'm sorry i wasn't able to bring what you needed into our relationship, the last months have been so hard for me. I guess i let distance break us apart and i didn’t even try to get you back ", my voice breaks and Brad is quick to hug me tight at his chest, the way he always used to when i was sad.

"We don't deserve each other from many points of view, but I'm down to try and change that. If you want that too", he kisses the top of my head and the last part is whispered, like he was too scared to find out my choice.

"I want that. I'm not ready to give you up, i swear", we hug one more time and we get inside the house, hand in hand, offering each other quick, cheeky smiles every now and then.

[sweet-villain]

Little Trouble In Paradise~2~ Joseph Quinn 

Part 1

m-rae23 ~ randomstory56 ~palomam18~ figmentofquinn~gloomybrieyxb ~hqtetsurou~irish-newzealand-idian-dutch~feltonswifesworld87~jazzymariexoxoc~ali-r3n~figmentofquinn~hellfirefiend~josephquinnlover0

" Oh Joseph you look so good tonight" you mocked Grace voice upon hearing her a few moments ago talking to you boyfriend. Dacre who is leaning against the counter with a drink in his hand, snickers but stops once you glare at him shoving a chip in your mouth.

" You need a drink" he says as he is ready to make you one when you mutter him, " Get me a whole damn bottle. This is going to be a long night."

He sighs as he goes to get you drink leaving you on your own glaring at Joseph and Grace. She laughed at something he said, swatting his chest. You shoved another chip in your mouth as you groan. He wasn't doing anything to stop her little touches and you were ready to dump the whole chip bowl over her head.

" Hey" you heard. You turn your head meeting Keery, he brought his girlfriend with him. You offered him a smile but it didn't reach his eyes, he let her go once he sees the fake smile as he wraps his arm around you.

" What's the matter?" he asks, whispering in your ear as he rubs your back in comfort. You know he is only doing it to make you feel better. " Why don't you ask your friend Joseph over there?" Joe pulls away from you as he looks to where your boyfriend is, and stiffs seeing the way Grace was flirting with him. He shoves his drink into his girlfriends hands as he stomps his way over to them.

Joe takes a hold of Joseph by his shirt and drags him into the hallway away from a confused Grace. She is pouting that she no longer has Joseph attention and crouches down a bit seeing you were watching her with anger in your eyes. She averts her eyes and makes her way around the room, walking away.

" Here you go" Dacre comes back with your drink in your hand. You grip the glass with your hand, frowning as you look up at him.

" This isn't a bottle" He nods, " Start with this" he says. His eyes grow wide when he sees you chuck the alcohol like it was nothing and push the glass back into his chest. " Get me a bottle, Montgomery"

Joe was glaring at Joseph with his grip still on Joseph's shirt.

" What the fuck are you doing?" Joe hisses.

" Talking to a friend?" Joseph asks, not sure what was going on and why Joe was so angry with him. Joe points a finger towards the room you are in, releasing Joseph from his hold.

" You're girlfriend is in there, upset over your so called talking with Grace out of all people. You know how she feels about her and yet what the fuck are you doing?"

" Talking to a friend and Y/N will get over it, she's a big girl" Joe's eyes got wide as big as saucers hearing his friend not really care about his own girlfriend and her feelings.

" You, my friend are sleeping on the couch" Joseph rolls his eyes. " Stay out of my relationship, Keery" Joseph walks back into the room looking to see you were given a whole bottle of your favorite alcohol by Dacre. He stared in disbelief watching you throw your head back as you took a drink.

Dacre's eyes meet Joseph and he watches as Dacre stand becomes protective as he shoots a glare at Joseph.

Joseph watches as you cap the drink back, licking your pink lips and you were making your way to him, pointing a finger at his face. This was the first time in awhile that you were face to face with him.

" I hate you" you spat at him. Your words sunk a knife through his heart. His gaze soften as he reach out to you but you took a step back from him, shaking your head.

" Don't touch me" he drops his hands as he frowns watching the state you were in. He notices the way your hair is a bit messy as if you were running your fingers through it. He notices your mascara running down your cheeks and that you hadn't bothered to clean your face. He takes notices that you took off your heels and have them discard somewhere in the room. He would find them later. He takes notice of the bottle in your grip and notices the way your gripping the counter.

" Dacre" he hears you call out the one person he doesn't like. Your best friend. But he has dealt with it. His eyes glare as Dacre comes up behind you, wrapping an arm around you as he helps you out of the room. He glances down at the white counter in front of him having your words repeated in his head. You hated him. This was going to the end of your relationship. He was going to lose you.

" You fucked up badly" he hears Maya say to him walking past him.

" I really thought you really loved her" Charlie says, shaking his head looking at his friend in a disapproving way.

" She really cared about you, gave her heart to you. You really hurt her" Natalie says but doesn't finish what she wanted to say as Charlie takes her away leaving Joseph to himself. His eyes brim with tears feeling his heart crack in two. Maya was right. He messed up.

He was stupid to talk to Grace knowing how much you didn't like her around. He missed your touch, your hugs, your laughter, the way you looked at him, when you told him you love him, he misses being around you and he messed it all up.

Dacre takes you upstairs to one of the room opening the door handle as he finds a bedroom as he settles you on the bed. You plop on the bed with a bottle in your hands but then it was gone. You let out a whine missing the touch of it around your hand.

" That's enough for you" he says as he puts it down on the floor near the door. He takes out his phone to call Liv that he would be looking out after you and staying with you. He didn't want you to get in trouble or leave you like this. You are his best friend and he cares about you.

Liv sends her love to you and hopes your okay. Dacre was going to fill her in later.

When Dacre comes back to check in on you, he chuckles seeing you sleeping on your side with a hand underneath your head. He sits down on the bed moving the hair away from your face and gets up again going to the bathroom getting a small white towel and putting it underneath the water. He comes back and leans over to wash away the running mascara and the make up on your face. He takes off your eyelashes and sets them next to the bed. He leans down to place a kiss on your forehead and it leaves you mumbling something.

He doesn't want to move you to wake you up, he settles in pulling the side of the covers over you and settles in besides you, watching as you slept wishing you weren't hurting like this.

The sun shines into the window of the bedroom that you currently laid in, a groan escapes your mouth as you turn over bumping into something or someone. Your head shot out of bed, but you relax once seeing Dacre was sleeping next to you in his shirt and pants. He hasn't bothered to strip down and slept on the covers.

You groaned again, gripping your head and your moving around has awaken Dacre who opens his eyes as he stares at you.

"Good Morning" he greets you, his accent is thicker in the mornings.

" Fuck" you mumble dropping down back on the bed. He throws his head back laughing and you swat his chest. " Shut up" you say.

He turns to his side as he watches you lay there, " How are you doing?"

" Horrible. I am not drinking ever again" he shakes his head.

" We all know it's not true" He reaches over besides the bed and gets you an aspirin and a cup of water. Before he went to bed, he went into the kitchen to get those for your hangover passing by Joseph who sat in the kitchen and once he was in there, Joseph looked up and sees the water and aspirin.

" Take care of her" he tells Dacre. Dacre nods but doesn't say anything to him when he walks back into the room and falling asleep next to you.

You take it from him, sending a nod to him in silence and you lay back down noticing you were in your dress still and your feet were bare.

" Where are my shoes?" you wiggled your toes as you look at Dacre.

" I have to look for them if you want me?" you shrugged. " Maybe later" you sat up a bit running fingers through your hair and scrunching up your face in disgust. You smelled badly and needed a shower.

" Thank you for taking care of me last night"

" It's what best friends are for" he sends you a smile and you eye his outfit. " How did you sleep in that?" He looks down at his outfit and shrugs. " Same way you did in the dress" he flickers the edge of your dress.

" It's really pretty. You should go shopping with Liv soon" he tells you. " She said she will call you this week, she misses you" he adds.

" awe, I can't wait" his face beams hearing it. He helps you stand up from the bed as the two of you head out the door and the house is quite, you head downstairs and see Joseph is sprawled on the couch with his head back as he sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

The sound of your feet and hush sounds awaken him as he turns his head seeing you with Dacre. He notices that you no longer have your make up on your face and notices the shoes are no where near you as of yesterday. He stands up from his seat adjusting his shirt when he hears your laughter.

He looks to see where you were looking at it to see Charlie has one of your shoes, gripping it to his chest while Keery has the other and they both are sleeping next to one another.

He snickers himself and watches as you nudge them with your foot causing them to groan. You reach down to take one of the shoes away from Charlie, to have Charlie grip on it and mumble like don't go underneath his breath.

" Charlie, sweetie. I need it" you whisper and Charlie mumbles a " no underneath his breath when his eyes open staring up at you. " Hi there" his face turns into a grin seeing you. " Good morning" he says releasing your shoe as he sits up rubbing his eyes then he turns to look at Joe who is laying next to him with your shoe.

Your hand reaches out to flick against Joe's forehead and he scrunches up his face in annoyance as he swats at your hand but doesn't meet your hand. You giggle and he opens his eyes hearing it as he sits up with one hand holding your shoe still as he stretches. You snatch it away from him.

" Hey!" he pouts but then he notices it was your shoe he took. You sit on the floor putting them on feeling eyes on you. Joseph is watching this whole scene with a chuckle. He can't help himself as his eyes wonder over you. How beautiful you look.

Then you remembered, you have to go home with Joseph and you weren't in the mood at all. Dacre helps you off the floor as he yawns, " Do you need a ride?" he asks.

" No" you shake your head. He nods telling you he has to go before Liv calls the whole team to come find him. You laugh throwing your arms around him, hugging him and thanking him again for taking care of you.

" You would do the same" he says, kissing your forehead as he wakes to Charlie and Joe but doesn't say anything to Joseph as he walks out the door. You stand by the door eyeing Joseph and he understands you want to leave. He waves to Joe and Charlie as he heads towards you.

Your hand reaches out into his pocket which surprises him. You take out his crushed up cigarettes shoving it into his chest. He catches them in time with his hand and felt the hardness of the way his lighter hit his chest then you find his keys which jingle on your finger.

" I'm driving" you say, not caring that you were still hunger over. You needed to drive. Joseph doesn't say anything as he follows you out the door and into the car. He watches as you start the car and chuckles once you hear the car roar to life, he sees the sparkle in your eyes.

As you two drive off towards home, you had no idea what was coming or if Joseph wanted to talk. You parked the car near the house and turn it off. He watches as you get out and not wait for him like you usually do. He follows you and watches your back, the way your hair flowed down your back, the way your ass looked in the dress and legs too. You looked good but he doesn't appreciate it as much.

You opened the door to the house leaving his keys in the bowl by the door. Before you get a chance to go into your bedroom, a hand on you wrist stops you in your tracks.

" Y/N" he calls out to you. You huffed, with your back to him but he tugs you making you turn around facing him. His eyes hold sadness in them. His hand releases you from his grip and it drops to his side.

" Yes, Joseph?" you asked, putting your arms across your chest.

" I miss you" he says, his little pout coming out and his chocolate brown eyes are shining. You roll your eyes. When he wants to talk, this is the only thing he has to say to you, you can't help but roll your eyes at him turning around making your way into the share bedroom.

" hey, I'm talking to you" he says, following you watching as you take off your earrings by the dresser.

"and I'm listening" he shrugs off his jacket dropping it on the edge of the bed. " I want to apologize how I acted for the past couple of months. You don't deserve that, I'm sorry." He hangs his head gazing at the covered carpet underneath his feet.

" Why did you do it?" one hand is on your hip as you gaze up at him in wonder.

" Because" he licks his lips, " I was stupid" he nods, " work was getting busy, the media and everything in between. It was becoming too much and I pushed you away. That wasn't fair, you're the best thing about my life and I love you"

" I never felt so alone when you pushed me away, I didn't understand what I did wrong" you say, slipping off your dress heading to the closet and he follows you as he unbuttons the buttons on his shirt.

" I never wanted to hurt you, sweetheart" He says bringing his hands around your hips turning you around that you face him.

" But you did" you say stepping back but he doesn't let you but brings you closer that your nose is rubbing against his.

" I'm so sorry, sweetheart. How can I make it up to you?" your eyes search his face and he is sincere. His little pout is out again and he knows it works on you.

" Never do that again, we are in a relationship. You come talk to me about what bothers you. This isn't one tango, this is a two way street Joseph. I love you, I'm here for you and I'm going to add, you were a little shit for doing what you did with Grace."

He raises his eyebrows, " She is my friend."

" She was touching you and you weren't doing shit about it" A look of guilt crosses his face. He knows you're right.

" I'm sorry, sweetheart" he places a kiss on your nose. " it won't happen again"

" Good, now undress yourself and get on the bed. I'm going to show you who you really belong to" you chuckle as his eyes are wide as he hurries to take off his clothes, and rushing to the bed laying on it.

You were going to make sure he was going to be a little shit ever again.

[bangthemsonyeondamn]

Renegade

Renegade : Traitor/ Betrayer Pairing : Jimin x Reader Word Count : 2.5k Summary : You got lied and trapped by your own beloved now it's on you how to escape him but it won't be easy as you think.

INSPIRED by the song 'renegade' by Aaryan Shah.

Warnings : ONLY ADULT AUDIANCE PERMITTED! MINORS PLEASE SKIP. TOXIC THEME, dark, yandere, obsessive, narcissistic personality, sociopath, manipulation, dollification. (nothing smutty), Mentions of fire, burns, torture, cuss words and more.

.·:*¨ ✘♚✘ ¨*:·.

Renegade : traitor/ betrayer

I woke up gasping for air, my breathing was not steady. I had a nightmare again it's like a daily routine at this point.

Every time it feels he'll be the cause of my death no not the romantic one. He really will be the cause of my death in reality.

He?

My boyfriend

Yes you read it correct.

My own boyfriend of one year

My eyes looked around the room. Nothing changed the same shabby, dark, dull place he has kept me here, he kept me here against my will.

Psychoish? Murderer? Maniac? Insane? Obsessed? Delusional? out of his head?

You don't know what he is. He claims to be your boyfriend but his behaviour it's like he owns you or something. And the way he calls you doll? Gives you creeps. Just by hearing his voice can make anyone have goosebumps within seconds. His voice is like a siren alluring, seductive and sexy.

After being trapped here for 6 months you know he is anything but humane, he has no compassion whatsoever no sympathy for anyone not even his own girlfriend. Do you think a sane boyfriend will keep his girlfriend trapped for so long?

He talks to you like you are a non living thing, like a doll hence the nickname. Being captive here for 6 months or more you don't know, it's been a while since you were free. No he doesn't allow clock, calendar, television, or anything in your room.

He expects you to be silent like a doll, no expression just completely quite. Ofcourse no human can be like that you did expressed so many emotions like anger, depressed, gloomy, miserable yet nothing worked on him. He lacked empathy. If you make him mad he is gonna teach you a lesson so you don't repeat the mistakes again ever and trust me he is very cruel. Especially with you since he thinks you are a doll and you aren't supposed to feel anything.

You tried to escape, multiple times but all went down in the dumps. He might lack empathy but he is very sharp and skilled related to technology. Every door in his house can open only with his fingerprints. This is completely secret but he has a tracker in your pendent. It can't be removed from your neck as it's short and made up of core hardened steel alloy.

You remember the last time you tried to escape. Jimin left the door of your room open, purposely to see what will you do. You had promised him that you won't try to escape anymore or do anything that makes him angry.

He went to the room next to you to see in his tablet what your next move will be. He smirks as he sees you walking towards the door almost in disbelief. You can't believe he left the door open. Is he testing me?

Your heart told you to stay but your mind told you to take a chance what if he actually by mistake left the door open? You don't want to waste any possible chances to escape.

You ran as fast as you could your pace has slowed because he gives you only limited food that is enough to keep you awake. You stand infront of the main door hoping for a miracle at this point. You know you are stupid but you still have silly hopes. Hopes to meet your friends. They are your only family. You don't have any blood related family your friends are your companions in your lonely life.

You think of ways to open the door as tears streamed down your face. You just miss your friends you want to go back to how it was, how happy you were. Somewhere the back of your mind tells you that you did this to yourself. You are the cause of your fate, you are the culprit.

"You need any help?" He asks as you freeze in your place. Should have listened to your heart and not went out of the room. You are terrified of him and shit scared to turn around and face him.

"You tried to go away from ME? I'm disappointed I thought you promised me that you won't fuck around" His voice deep and slow but I know how much mad he is.

"Since you broke your promise I don't think I should keep mine too. It's unfair right?"

He promised to not hurt you In return you promised to not run away.

You made a mistake. You agreeing to live with jimin was a mistake, you meeting jimin was a mistake, you being born was also mistake. You don't know your parents they just gave you up. You're not upset with them. Who would want to have a child like you. Jimin has messed up your brain. You couldn't think rationally and just keep blaming yourself because he blames you for his loss or if something bad happens.

He looks at you straight in the eye you don't what is going through his sick head. He sure is thinking of doing something fun. It might be fun for him but for you, you are done.

He drags you to the kitchen counter and makes you sit there. You could have ran away and hide in your room but do you really want to make him more mad. Mad than he already is?

He turns on the stove and puts a kettle filled with water. You're confused is he making tea right now?

He didn't even turned back to look at you he keeps looking at the boiling water as if it's calming him down but is he really calm or just so mad that he doesn't even want to face you.

You open your mouth to say something but no words are ready to escape. Do you really want to apologise to him? You brain tells you apologise if you want to escape and your heart tells you not beg from a deranged person like him. Is he even a person?

You are in your own thoughts when jimin is standing infront of you. Weird fact is he is not glaring at you. It's like he us trying to study what you were thinking about escaping.

Park Jimin never lets anyone know his true emotions he hides them covers them up. He thinks Everyone will try to hurt him because his thoughts are different they are far from humanity. They are filled with dark, toxic, twisted things no one could imagine.

But he lets you see his thoughts. Why? one might ask? Because he thinks you are doll a lifeless thing which can't speak. His only doll, the only one who can understand him. The only one who knows the real him. His doll

His eyes studies your face and a tear drops from his eyes.

"My pretty doll....are you a renegade?"

You are confused by this. Why is he suddenly calling you a traitor when he is the one who betrayed you trapped you here?

" In order to be a renegade, you have to be prepared to walk alone and follow your own path" His hands slightly brush against your calf then moves up carefully to your thighs as he grips them tightly.

"How will you walk alone when you are my doll? I'm the one who owns you, I am the one who controls you, I'm the one who knows the best for you, your goal is to satisfy me and only me."

He takes a the kettle in one hand and looks at me

"Your legs which carried you to the door should be cauterised" he says he pours the hot boiling water on my feets. I tried to scram away but his body infront of me kept me trapped to suffer in agony from the burning pain.

He grabbed by the nape and forced me to walk towards the stove I didn't noticed but the stove was on and the fire was still going on. I couldn't walk properly due to new developed burns but he kept dragging me there. I knew this might happen still I did this he is right I'm dumb to even try to escape.

He had my wrist in his right grip as I kept crying begging for him to let me go. This was pure torture.

"Your hands which tried to open the door these ridiculous hands if I want I would have incinerate them. I'm being Kind to a worthless doll like you instead of being obedient you are causing trouble. You don't even deserve to roam around the room"

He pressed my hands on the fire causing my palms to burn it hurts like hell. Almost a third degree burn I'm sure.

You look at his face to see he is crying too.... Both are crying from different pains Difference is one is physical and other is mental. He looks as if he is the one getting the burns. He us feeling so many emotions at once. Anger, sadness, jealousy, disappointed. Too bad He only thinks of his emotions he doesn't give a fuck about how others think that's how his personality is.

He lets your hand goes as you're really on the verge of fainting. You fall on the ground as he kneels to match your height. He cups both of your cheeks while his thumb caress your cheekbones. He gives you a forehead kiss and stays there for a second. He breathes deeply and says.

"This is your fault you deserve this my doll. Next time it will be harder than this I promise"

You can't look at him as you faint in his arms while he carried you back to your room to medicate you. He lays your body on the bed while he begans to treat your palms and feet.

Now in present you look at your bandages. these burns was done by him two weeks ago. You stopped talking to him and he didn't seem to mind ofcourse thats what he wants. You wonder if your friends ever miss you. Jimin has told all of them that you both are shifting far away but he lied. Obviously.

Your friends warned to multiple times to not roam around him, to not trust him and what you did the complete opposite. You trusted him with you life and ended up here trapped. Your consciousness tells you "you are wrong your friends were right, they were always right. They knew there was something shady about the park jimin but you shushed them told them not to talk bad about him"

Ofcourse Jimin wasn't like this or he maybe was but just he used a facade to get you right into his trap. He took the perfect opportunity to make you fall for him. He also knew how you don't have a family who might look for you. Everything perfect.

As I'm scaning my room waiting for him to enter. During this time he comes in my room to feed me. The door unlockes and I freeze in my spot.

He enters and again locked the doors, his face is too serious as if he is mad somewhat. When he is around me he shows too much emotions.

His yes meet mine and he walks closer to sit near my bed on a chair. He settles the plates and glass down. He picks up the spoon to feed me, he never let's me eat remember I'm here like a non living thing.

As he is feeding me he keeps his eyes at me as if noticing my every move. I quietly eat what he is feeding because thats all for the day. I never spoke anything with him neither did he weird because he always talks to me sometimes less or more but he does. Today he didn't said a word as if his mind is busy somewhere else.

Once I'm done he cleans everything and gets the medical box to switch my bandages. He still doesn't say a word. I'm scared. What is he thinking.... his thoughts scare me.

When he is done with the bandages he caress my hand playing with my fingers. It's like he wants to say something but he is fighting himself.

"You know how insecure I feel when you prefer your friends over me? You make me insecure, you make me feel weak. You make Park Jimin do things for you no one ever did. That's how much you mean to me but you just want to get away from me. Are your friends really that precious to you and not me? Am I not even worth for your attention? Why are you so selfish only thinking about yourself? Why don't you ever once think about what I feel? Yeah my doll didn't you promised to understand me, to help me, to always support my decision?"

He is crying again.

"Jimin-ah please one time let me meet my friends one time ?! Then I'll listen to whatever you want I'll forever live here with you I promise"

"Promise and you? You seem to love breaking promises that you keep making them to me. I'm afraid this promise can't be accepted and about your friends-"

"Jimin you won't hurt them you promised me!"

"Doll what about the millions promise you broke I can't break one?"

"What happened my dolly? Why the sulky face? Ah I get it you miss your friends right? "

He leaned closer to me. So much that there was only some centimetres gap away from each other his lips grazed my ears so slightly giving me shivers. His heavy breath on my neck making me scared because I know he is planning something shady, he is having fun.

"Don't worry my doll I'll bring your friends here too so you won't feel lonely okay? But promise me you have to be a good girl hmm? Will you do that for me?"

My eyes turned teary watching him smirk at me while he pickes up the plates and glass. He leans one more time to give me a kiss on my forehead. His face agains hardens the same way he entered.

Before he was about to go I called him.

"Please Jimin let me go I'll never tell a single soul about this I'll forget all this just please let me go"

He turns around and stares at me like I was the one who did a crime. He looks dead serious as he glares at me with an unexplainable emotion. Love? Hatred? Anger? Care? I don't know all I know is his eyes making me understood that I'm stuck here. Forever.

His lips move to speak before he turns around and slams the door shut making me a crying mess. Making me regret my whole life.

"Should've listen to them Don't you know what I am?"

[eywamygoddesswrites]

— 𝓷𝓮𝔀 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷, 𝓼𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 — (lo'ak x gn!reader, lo'ak x tsireya)

pairing: lo'ak x gn!omatikaya!reader , lo'ak x tsireya

tags: angst, toxic, make-ups and break-ups,

warnings: lowercase intended, toxic relationship, anger, swearing, self-sabotage, mentions of becoming mates, y/n is just toxic as hell

a/n: characters are aged up! the theme of this fic will be heavy and for anyone who is going through something, please PLEASE don't read this as it might worsen your state. you are loved, you are heard, and you are not alone.

i also don't do character x character as a request but if it deems needed for the story, i will do said trope

word count: 1.5k

+ gif not mine. ctto.

lo'ak and y/n have this complicated relationship with one another. on one hand, it can be seen as teenage love growing into something more and something special as they age. but on the other hand, it can also be seen as something toxic where teens don't know what the fuck they got themselves into and ate more than they can chew.

it was the type of relationship where they got together on and off. lo'ak had always let his emotions get the best of him and always had his insecurities take over him whenever he saw y/n interact with other na'vi's. y/n was no different from lo'ak. they were toxic in a way where they gaslight lo'ak and made him dependable on them.

even with this toxicity between the two, they somehow worked even when they shouldn't.

after years of the constant cycle of making up and breaking up, sky people came back and attacked the forest, leaving the omatikaya vulnerable to another war.

y/n was one of the injured during the attack and was currently being treated in mo’at’s tent. while being treated, they heard the toruk makto’s voice boom at his sons, causing y/n to snort at how this cycle between the father and sons never changed. “like father, like son.” they said to no one in particular.

neteyam came into the tent with kiri, cuts, and bruises were seen on his figure. y/n stood up from where they sat and thank the tsahik before leaving the tent. too many sully’s in one place just makes the na’vi gag.

right in front of the tent stood lo’ak, shocked painting his face on the figure of their lover- if he can call them his lover at this point. “what the hell happened to you? you should’ve gone somewhere safe you skxawng.” lo’ak scoffs and began checking if y/n had other marks that his grandmother wasn’t able to see but y/n shoves him away before he could.

“somewhere safe?!?” y/n looked at lo’ak like he was the dumbest of the dumb in pandora. “i had to help my little sister find a place to be safe in but we were ATTACKED in the process! i’m ‘sorry’ if i wanted my only living family SAFE from the shit your family brought to this place!” they hissed at lo’ak before leaving the na’vi seething in anger. he followed them and grabbed their arm with force, most likely leaving a bruise the following day.

“it’s not my dad’s fault these demons come back because of their selfishness. but don’t you fucking dare blame me and my whole family for this. we protect the people just as the rest of you.” he hissed at the angry na’vi before shoving them away.

y/n stares at lo’ak with anger and hate. “i should’ve never given a freak like you a chance in love. you don’t DESERVE an ounce.” with this, y/n left lo’ak standing on his self-hatred. 

of course, he doesn’t. he knows that already. they didn’t have to reinforce and shove it on his face. “whole ass bitch.”  he mutters before going back to his siblings.

before the sully’s ride their ikran to leave the forest, the omatikaya watches the family that protected their homes for so long. it was a sad event but it must be done in order to secure the majority’s safety.

y/n watched from afar, glad that this family will leave after so many years. they broke up with lo’ak a day before and ensured the na’vi that they will never get back together after this.

“find your own mate that will put up with your shitty attitude.” y/n says before turning their back on lo’ak.

“i hope no one gives you a chance for your bitch attitude! no na’vi should go through your toxicity!” lo’ak shouted at the figure leaving him before he started punching the nearest tree, not minding the pain he was feeling.

just as lo’ak mounted his ikran, his gaze going up and meeting with y/n’s gaze. he narrowed his eyes before taking off behind neteyam and kiri.

being welcomed by the metkayina was something the sully’s should work for and for safety, they should comply. even after they were seen as demons by the tsahik, they will do what needs to be done.

lo’ak couldn’t focus on their training to breath underwater because of what happened a few days ago. the break up was fresh in his mind and despite feeling pain, he mostly felt anger towards y’n. he didn’t do anything to them so why was he treated that way? it was their fault their life was shit. it was their fault their parents are dead. it was their faul—

“lo’ak? are you still with us?” tsireya’s soft voice took him out of his thoughts. her round eyes looking at him with concern, no malice seen. lo’ak shook his head before swimming back to shore. “i’m not feeling well. i’ll go back to the mauri.” he simply said, not waiting for any replies from the rest.

he didn’t go to their mauri, instead walking aimlessly as he kicks the sand out of anger. he aimed his feelings toward y/n despite the na’vi not being present in any way.

he settled by a big rock and lay on the of it, watching the sunset. “what did i do wrong?” he covers his eyes with his arm and sighs heavily.

a few minutes passed before he hears footsteps coming closer. he looks up to see tsireya. he couldn’t deny that he saw her as a pretty na’vi. wait, no, no, y/n will get angry- wait… y/n is not here. he can see anyone as pretty without being tormented on and feeling guilty for thinking such.

tsireya sat beside him, looking beyond the glimmering ocean. the eclipse has set before them as stars showed in the sky.

“what’s troubling you, lo’ak?” tsireya asks before looking at lo’ak. the forest na’vi’s eyes trembled as he remembers his time with his ex. maybe it was actually his fault that y/n treated him that way. if only he was more obedient then maybe y/n was with him to this day. why should he ruin everything he has in his life–

“lo’ak.” tsireya’s voice removed him from his thoughts once again. lo’ak finally looked at tsireya and felt his tears fall down his face. her features soften as she pulled him into a hug he had been longing for a while. she whispered sweet nothings to his ear as she runs her hand through his braids. no sound left his mouth but the tears that ran down his face speaks many stories.

maybe… maybe he has a new opportunity with tsireya. maybe this might be a new chance that eywa has given him.

after months and months of comfort and courting, lo’ak can proudly call tsireya his girlfriend. his sun. his love. tsireya knew of what he had gone through back in the forest and she made it her priority to help him heal from his past. she just hopes he fully lets her in his heart.

the first few months of the two being official, it was bliss. lo’ak felt like he could die a happy man just to keep this comfort. he didn’t want the happiness to fade if they do continue on.

the longer the two stayed together, the more his toxicity seeped out of the damn he had built. the same where he would constantly ask tsireya who were the guys she talked with, the same where he would keep her from doing her tasks as the next tsahik, and the same where he would limit and forbid tsireya from meeting anyone else.

at first, tsireya didn’t mind. maybe lo’ak was just cautious because of his previous relationship? don’t worry! she understands and will comply with his wishes. but the more time passed and his actions worsened, she thought, ‘maybe it’s something with me.’ don’t worry! i’ll just slowly pull away from my friends and spend more time with lo’ak to ease his mind.

ao’nung, neteyam, and kiri saw this and began to worry. ao’nung could see that his sister was beginning to be skittish around him and his friends. he missed hanging out with her and for her to spend time with lo’ak is just laughable. neteyam and kiri on the other hand can see that the cycle of y/n and lo’ak began to show in his new relationship with tsireya.

after neteyam’s death, everything just fell apart. lo’ak was worse than he was before they came to the reef.

his relationship with tsireya disintegrated as they broke up and made up. although, he didn’t want to let her go because who will understand him? only she can and he doesn’t care if they break up. they can easily fix it and get back together.

tsireya, oh poor tsireya, she couldn’t just leave him. it’s unfair to him and he was the first na’vi she truly loved. of course, she will accept him no matter how many times they break up. maybe if they mated, he will fully change his ways and learn to love her without having to separate.

feels like a brand new person (but you’ll make the same old mistakes)

i don’t care, i’m in love (stop before it’s too late)

[aribarilol]

Ace - Pt I

Summary: You were captured by the Avengers after trying to kill them, but Bucky remembers you.

Notes: TFATWS Bucky is the vision for this one because him and his leather jackets are amazing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were HYDRA's little puppet, their joker. They called you Ace. You had trained with Bucky before he escaped, leaving you with HYDRA. This made them heavily rely on you and your talents alone. After a few years of training, they sent you to murder the Avengers and bring back the Winter Soldier. Your plan failed however and now you sat in the holding cell of the Compound, staring blankly at the 2 way mirror.

"So what do we do with her?" Sam asks, staring at you through the mirror. Bucky stood there, not speaking as he stared at you, memories flooding through his brain. "Well we know she's HYDRA" Steve says, also looking at you, the calm expression on your face throwing him off slightly. "I'll talk to her" Bucky says, facing the boys. "No you won't" Sam says, almost immediately. "We don't know how she'll react, she might have powers or something we don't know of, and you aren't going in there." He says to Bucky. "She won't do anything." He says, confidently and it hit Steve and Sam. Bucky knew you. "Wait a second man, did you know her?" Sam asks. Bucky glares at Sam and speaks. "Yeah. We trained together and went on a few missions together." He says as Steve processes this new information. Sam processes then his look of thinking goes into one of anger. "So you knew she was there the whole time, and yet you didn't bother to tell us?? Shes been in HYDRA this entire time, and they've done god knows what to her!" He says, agitatedly. Bucky grows angry, "You think we could just storm in there and get her back? HYDRA does stuff to you! She's HYDRA through and through just like I was!" He yells. "But you could have told us instead of forgetting about her and going off and getting better!" Sam argues. "You think I don't see her face everyday! It killed me knowing she was still in HYDRA, held in some base in somewhere being mind-washed and tortured?" He fumes. "I- Im leaving, I need some air." He says, storming out of the room.

Steve, ignoring the two's bickering, stepped closer to the mirror. "It's like looking into the face of a ghost," Steve murmured, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.The room fell silent again. Steve's heart was filled with a mix of sorrow and determination. He knew they had to do something, but he wasn't sure what.Then, a thought came to him. A risky idea. Steve looked at Sam, his expression serious. The other man raised an eyebrow in question. "You got that look in your eyes that you're about to do something either really smart or really dumb," Sam commented dryly.

Steve chuckled softly, appreciating the attempt to lighten the mood. "Maybe a bit of both," he admitted.Sam tilted his head, curious. "Alright, let's have it. What's on your mind?" Steve exhaled, steeling himself for what he was about to propose. "I think we should let her out."Sam practically gaped at him. "Are you insane? She's a HYDRA assassin, Steve! She almost killed us all!" Sam's voice rose with disbelief. Steve held up his hands in defense. "I know, I know. Just hear me out."Sam took a deep breath and gestured for Steve to continue.Steve sighed, "Don't you see? She's our best lead on HYDRA. If anyone could give us the details we need, it's her."

Sam thought for a moment, weighing the potential benefits. "I see your point," he admitted, "But how do we know she'd even cooperate? She could just as easily kill us the second we open the door." Steve nodded, acknowledging the risk. "I know it's a gamble," he conceded, "But what if she could tell us where HYDRA's bases are? How to take them down?"Sam was still sceptical but he could see where Steve was coming from. "And Bucky?" He asked, pointing out the elephant in the room. Steve paused, knowing this would be the biggest challenge. "Bucky will just have to trust me," he said, his voice filled with resolve. Sam didn't look wholly convinced but he knew Steve wouldn't back down.

After a few moments of contemplation, Sam let out a weary sigh. "Alright, I'm not gonna lie, this plan is crazy," he admitted. "But I trust you, man. Just promise me this won't get us all killed." Steve smiled slightly, appreciating the loyalty. "I promise," he said, his voice steady.Sam nodded, "Alright. So what's our next move, Cap?" Steve took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the next step. "We let her out, but we do it my way," he said, his voice firm. "We give her a chance to prove herself, and if she even looks like she's gonna act out, we intervene. Understood?"Sam gave a single nod, silently agreeing to the plan.

Steve's expression hardened as he stepped closer towards the window, staring at you through the glass pane. "I hope I'm not making a huge mistake," he muttered under his breath.Sam clapped a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Like I said, either really smart or really dumb." he said with a small smile. Steve chuckled softly, glad for the levity. He took a final steadying breath and turned towards the door. "Wish me luck," he said to Sam."You've got this, Steve," Sam responded, giving him a reassuring nod. With a last look behind to check if Sam was ready, Steve grasped the door handle and twisted it open. The low creak of the opening door was the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

As Steve and Sam entered the room, your face barely showed a hint of recognition. You stayed seated, your eyes following them, but your demeanor remained unruffled. Both Steve and Sam took their places on the opposite side of the table from you. A tense silence filled the air, the only sound was the soft hum of the fluorescent lights above. Steve broke the silence. He sat down on the chair opposite you, his blue eyes meeting your cold stare. The intensity in his gaze never wavered. You remained silent, your expression unchanging, waiting for him to speak.

Steve took a moment to gather his thoughts, his eyes tracing over your features. "We want to talk to you," he finally said, his voice firm but calm.You didn't respond right away, your gaze never leaving his. The only sound was the soft creak of Steve's chair as he shifted his weight. Eventually, you spoke, your voice cool and detached. "About what?" you inquired. Your words carried no emotion, nor curiosity. Your expression never changed. You just continued to stare at him in that same calm, deadpan way.

Steve noted your cold demeanour, it was almost unnerving how detached you remained. "We want to ask you questions about HYDRA," he told you. You shrugged, showing no sign of surprise. "Why would I tell you anything?" you asked, your voice almost bored. Steve leaned forward slightly, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Because it's in your best interest to cooperate," he said firmly.You raised an eyebrow slightly but didn't respond right away. After a moment, you spoke again, "And what exactly do I get out of it?" Steve didn't expect you to negotiate. He leaned back in his chair, considering your question. "Depends on what kind of information you give us," he said, choosing his words carefully. "If it's substantial, we could offer you protection from HYDRA. A place to stay."

Your eyes betrayed a slight gleam of interest at the mention of protection, but you covered it quickly. "You expect me to just trust you?" you said, your voice tinged with skepticism. Steve chuckled humorlessly. "Not at first, no," he admitted. "But if you cooperate, we can learn to trust each other."There was another moment of silence. You studied him, your gaze sharp and calculating. The air of detachment was still present, but something about your expression changed. Almost as if you were actually considering his offer. "How do you propose I prove my loyalty?" you asked, your voice betraying the slightest hint of curiosity.

Steve's lips curled into a slight smile. "We'll make you a deal," he said, his voice softer but still firm. "Give us accurate and comprehensive intel on HYDRA. Location of their bases, leaders identities, plans... everything."You eyed him carefully, wary of the terms. "And if I provide all of that?" you asked, your gaze unwavering. Steve nodded. "Then we'll offer you a safe haven. A place where HYDRA can't reach you."You didn't respond right away. You were clearly weighing the risk against the reward. The room's air was thick with tension. Just when Steve thought you were going to decline, you spoke quietly."And if I refuse?"

Steve's expression darkened slightly. "Then we'll have no choice but to keep you detained here until we can figure out a way to deal with you," he said. His voice was firm, but there was a hint of regret in his eyes. He didn't want it to come to that.Sam spoke up from his place in the corner, "You don't have many options here, kid." Your eyes flicked over to Sam, taking in his words. You nodded slightly, as if realizing the reality of the situation. Then, you turned back to Steve. "Alright," you said, the slightest hint of resignation in your voice. "I'll give you what you want."

A small flicker of surprise passed through Steve's face before he quickly composed himself. "Really? Just like that?"You shrugged slightly, "What other choice do I have? Spend the rest of my life in a cell, waiting to be experimented on? I don't have anything left to lose." Steve nodded, understanding the weight of your words. "Good," he said, his voice regaining some of its sternness. "We'll start with basic intel. Location of their main bases, how many people they have under their wing, that sort of thing."

You leaned back in your chair, taking a deep breath to recollect your thoughts. "Okay," you said quietly, "HYDRA has several main bases throughout different continents. The largest one is based in Siberia, close to the Russian border..." Steve nodded, making mental notes, his brows furrowing as you continued describing the location. "How many people do they have?" Sam asked, his voice cutting through the silence.

You looked at Sam for a moment before answering, "The exact number is difficult to pinpoint. However, based on my training, I would estimate around 30,000 operatives, give or take." Steve and Sam exchanged a look. That was more than they had expected. "Any high-ranking officials we should know about?" Steve inquired, leaning forward slightly in his chair. You thought for a moment, "There's the Head of Operations, whom I've seen only a handful of times. He's a man in his 40s, I think. They call him 'The Architect'," you paused for a moment, your eyes flickering. "There's also The Broker. A middle-aged man who usually deals with outside business. He's the one who assigns our missions outside the bases."

Steve's mind raced, taking in every single information you gave them. He could feel the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. "And what about weapons?" he asked, his voice betraying a hint of urgency. "They have a wide arsenal," you told them. "Guns, explosives, advanced technology. But I believe they've been working on something secret. They've been stockpiling a lot of an element called vibranium." 

Sam's eyes widened, "Vibranium? You mean the same stuff that Cap's shield is made of?" Steve's face mirrored Sam's surprise. They knew very well the power vibranium possessed. You nodded, "Yes. Vibranium is an extremely powerful material. I've seen them use it in various weapons and equipment. The Broker was in charge of acquiring it, so I assume they managed to get their hands on a good stash of it." Steve took a moment to process this information. The thought of HYDRA having vibranium was unnerving, to say the least. He looked at you again, "Anything else you can tell us? Plans, strategies, future targets?" 

You took a deep breath before continuing, "HYDRA is always planning. They don't let their guard down, even for a second. They're constantly on the lookout for new recruits, new assets. And they have plans for almost every contingency. I've seen them train for various types of missions, from infiltrations to mass attacks." Steve listened intently, his mind going over the various scenarios you were describing. This wasn't a simple operation they were dealing with. HYDRA was more organized, more powerful than they had thought."Any details on what these plans might be?" Sam inquired, his voice echoing Steve's concern.

You shook your head, "They don't share their plans with their lower-ranked agents. The only thing I've heard is whispers of a 'grand plan' that was put in motion. It's mostly rumors, but I've heard rumors of something called Project Insight Part 2. They're keeping it top-secret, only a handful of high-ranking operatives know the details." Project Insight. The word echoed in the room like a ominous bell tolls. Steve and Sam locked eyes, the name bringing back unsettling memories. "Project Insight... You're sure that's what it's called?" Steve asked, his voice almost a whisper. 

You nodded, "Yes, that's what I've heard. From what I've gathered, Project Insight is a large-scale operation that involves HYDRA infiltrating various governmental institutions and gathering vast amounts of data about people, presumably to identify potential targets for elimination." The room fell quiet as the gravity of the situation sank in. Steve and Sam looked at each other, the same thought on both of their minds. HYDRA attempting something of this magnitude was unimaginable. "Do you know how far they've gotten with this project?" Steve asked, his voice betraying his worry.

You thought for a moment, "I believe they've nearly completed Phase One. They've infiltrated several government databases and started collecting information. But beyond that, I don't have any further details." Steve decided to stop pressuring, they had enough information for now. Except for information about you. "One last thing, what's your name?" Steve asks, hoping you would answer. "Ace" You say, immediately. Even though Bucky knew your real name, HYDRA called you Ace.

Steve nodded, taking in the name. "Ace," he repeated quietly, committing it to memory. Sam, who had remained relatively silent throughout your discussion, finally spoke up. "So, what now?"Steve looked at you, then back at Sam, a deep frown on his face. "Now, we figure out what exactly to do with you." Your expression remained as cool as ever, betraying no emotion, yet your eyes showed a glimmer of concern."I assume I'm still a prisoner," you said, a hint of sarcasm lacing your voice."For now, yes," Steve confirmed, his tone firm but not lacking in compassion. "We need to discuss what options we have."Sam chimed in, "And figure out what to do about your, uh... condition." He gestured towards the cuffs around your wrists.The door opens, and Bucky walks in looking slightly furious at Steve and Sam for talking to me without his input."Y/N-" He starts as you make eye contact."Who the hell is Y/N?" You reply, your stoic, calm expression showing a hint of curiosity and confusion.

[echantedtoon]

Kingkaard Oneshot

What makes a king a king? Most would say being descended from other royals or having the heart and bravery of a leader. Others might be blunt and say authority. And let’s be honest, all those statements are true in one shape or form. But right now he’d rather be anything else or more specifically somewhere else right now-

“I TOLD you we needed to spend more on the stupid dam if we wanted the river to flow near our peoples’ crops properly! But NO- You spend way too much time worrying on spending your dam jewels to even think about what could happen with low funding!”

The giant Rudinn King gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. “You’re one to talk! All you do is argue with yourself literally and fuss over that spoiled mutt of yours!”

A white head was shoved near his face. “Don’t. You. DARE. Call my precious little Clover that!”

He could feel another headache coming as the two fools continued to argue about this useless matter….And now the other heads are coming in. With a grunt of annoyance he lowered his head into his gloved hand to rub at his shadowed face. The only one who wasn’t being an annoying twat was the worried looking hathy sitting next to him, nervously glancing between the two bickering idiots. How anything got done around here was a miracle. It seems he’d have to take the reins on this stupid thing again.

“Just give him the dam money, Diamond,” he growled out. His brow twitched in annoyance.

The Rudinn gave the spade a treacherous look. “Like Light I will! This is a matter that needs to be dealt with-

"I agree. So pay up!”

“Like I would do such a thing after that insult!

He sunk down into his hand further. This was going to be a while, which wasn’t good at all. These idiots better figure it out soon before he lost it again. The yelling only seemed to get louder as the seconds ticked past and his other hand slowly tapped against the wooden surface of the table in a failed attempt to distract himself from the bickering. The hathy next to him seemed to be the only one to notice the annoyed growl the spade threw out and an even more worried face came over him.

"N-N-Now, now. Let’s not get too angry. I-I’m sure we can work all this out.” The hathy tried and failed to sooth the two arguing royals and winced in knowing what was too come next-

The spade’s hand tapped faster and a vein bulged on his forehead from his slowly rising anger. It seemed the loud voices got louder and filled his mind to the brim-

“Will. You.Two. STOP!” His loud voice rang out followed by a loud pounding of his hand slamming down against the table. The room went silent, his action catching the attention of the arguing Kings. The only noise was the wincing Heart king slipping down further into his seat. The Spade growled before pointing a hand at Diamond. “This is all your fucking fault! There’ll be no sugar coating it! Either you give Clubs the d*m money or I’ll take it from the royal treasury by force!” The Rudinn went to say something. “It’s NOT up for discussion. I won’t be wasting anymore time on this stupid matter that could’ve already been solved. Now, what will it be, Diamond?”

The giant Rudinn just stared blankly but grumbled and mumbled an ok or something along those lines. The Spade seemed satisfied though and went back to lean across the table to stare at the other three kings.

“Now. What else do we need to deal with?”

That conversation was ended over an hour ago. Yet he still had a massive headache from it and still couldn’t get the dam thing to go away. But at least now he had semi peace and quiet. Minus the hustle and bustle off the servants and guards around him, but still much better than dealing with a 5 headed loud mouth and spoiled serpent. He groaned. Just thinking about it made his head throb harder. Could this day get any more annoying?

“S-Sir?” A tiny voice came from his side. Most likely from one of the guards.

He sighed heavily through his nose. Without looking up he asked, “What?”

The guard flinched back. “U-Um…T-T-The Duke is here to s-see you?”

…..Oh.

He lowered his hand from his face and slowly turned to look at the small Rudinn guard staring up at him in terror. “The Duke?” They nodded. “Oh…Well, send him in.”

The guard quickly slithered away and a moment later the doors to the study opened wide to reveal the blue worm man on the other side. In all his arrogant self. And of course the bumbling moron waltzed in like he owned the place, wearing the same fancy aura of authority as he usually did. The worm strolled up to the desk without hesitation with that larger than life smile of his. The king didn’t seemed fazed at all in the slightest.

“Duke,” he greeted bluntly.

“Good Morrow, Mine Majesty. I do hope I did not interrupt thou.”

“No. What do you want?”

“Nothing much. But I do wisheth to discuss important matters with thou?”

“I see….” He turned his head to the guard beside him. “Leave us.”

The rudinns did as commanded and slithered their way out of the room, closing the doors behind them as they left. Leaving the two nobles alone. After a brief moment of the king just staring after the doors, he sighed and slumped back into his seat, a hand coming up to rub his temples.

“You heard about this morning I presume?”

“Naturally. I wanted to check and see thou’s condition mineself.” A blue hand reached out and grabbed the Spade’s much bigger hand. The giant blue hand encircled the smaller one and the worm gave a small smile, one that wasn’t his usual cocky grin he gave in public. “Art thou alright from thine weekly meeting?”

The large spade gave a dry chuckle. “If by meeting you mean having to babysit through a child’s argument, then yes. Then I’m perfectly fine. Heart was smart enough to keep quiet at least.”

His smile lessened. “Then I’ll takest that as a no then.”

“It’s just-..” The large chair creaked under his shifting weight. “Those idiots cannot seem to understand the simple solutions for their problems."

The blue man hummed before giving another smile. "Well, thou must be patient. Everyone has their own uh-…..ways of dealing with their problems. But they’ll soon figure it out.”

“Yeah. That’ll be the day. "The spade huffed and turned his head to lay in his other hand. "By the time they figure it out, my bones would have become dust.”

A playful smile came over the worm as his placed a hand on his hip and gave a knowing smile up at the spade. “Oh, really? If mine memory is right, then thou didst not ‘figure it out’ with a lot of things.” The spade gave him a questioning look, giving a silent command of asking what he was talking about. To which the worm was more than happy to answer. “For example, was it not thy for made the first motion towards this."

The king gave a small jolt when the worm’s other hand came to clasp his hand, and he made a grumble and looked off in the other direction. He have off a small chuckle which seemed to make the spade slightly more uncomfortable.

"S-Shut up. This was all your idea-”

“Yet thou took a while to 'figure it out’. Didst thou not?~”

The king didn’t answer and contined to stare off to the side grumbling. He didn’t respond to the worm’s affectionate 'Look at me.~’ and felt himself try to mold his body within the large seat he sat upon. What he didn’t expect was the soft fabric of a white glove to grab his cheek- He flinched and turned his eyes to stare at the arm invading his personal space from the dark hood, they trailed up to the smiling face and white hair. He aloud his head to be gently turned by the smaller man until they were facing each other properly.

“Cometh now. No needst to be likest that.~ Do not telleth me thou art shy-?”

A large hand secured itself around his arm and the spade gave off an affectionate growl with an even more rare smile. Followed by a deep chuckle. “A king is anything but shy to what he rules over, Duke.”

The worm’s smile became wider if possible and once again chuckled.

“A king is not but in a name. Mine majesty.~”

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Do you maybe have any lu in Healthcare drabbles about Twilight or Sky?

Sky getting hugged by Wars and Wind was wholesome...he needs more hugs.

And I'm curious as to what the fight Twilight got into was

👉👈🧡

Twilight kicked an empty can aside in the alley, trying to make his way to the motel's entrance. At least he thought the entrance was somewhere around here.

When he heard a strangled yell of panic around the corner, he froze. There were angry voices, and a decidedly terrified one. Creeping slowly towards the edge of the alley, he peered around the building and saw two thugs holding knives in front of someone. Based on their tattered clothes, the person was likely homeless.

Twilight felt his blood boil. Assholes. As soon as the anger at the injustice set in, he was moving, leaping over the fence that separated him from the group and landing directly on one of the thugs. The man's knife went flying, nearly cutting Twilight's face, and he dove for it before the other person could react. He got a kick in his arm for good measure from the second person, and he hissed as he finally reached the knife, swiping at the person's legs.

The knife sliced true, and the second person howled, stumbling back. By that point the first thug was pulling himself to his feet and reaching for Twilight, who rolled out of the way and rose to his feet, picking up the person by their shirt and throwing them into some trash bins. The pair of criminals took off, one limping from the cut Twilight had given him.

Sighing, he rubbed his arm, which hurt like hell from the kick. He glanced at the homeless man to see he had backed away into the shadows of another alley. A second figure was crouching by him, eyes glittering in the dark. It hovered over the man protectively, posture rigid and ready to fight.

Twilight relaxed. This person was clearly a friend to the man. He wasn't going to engage. Sighing, he gave a small nod to the pair and went back to the motel.

Welcome to Castle Town, I guess, he sighed internally. His phone buzzed, and he looked to see another missed call. He turned his phone off.

[saturn7162]

Cry for help (sorry another steven universe fic

Happy valentines day <33 Have another SU fic I love this show

Pearl gasped as she saw the TV screen turn to static.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, bringing a hand to her mouth. 

“This is no good.” She said as she knelt down between Steven and Amethyst. 

“Wh-what’s wrong?” Steven asked shyly.

“It’s Peridot!” Pearl began to elaborate. 

“She must have fixed the communication hub again.” Steven and Amethyst looked at eachother, fearful expressions displayed on their faces. 

“Garnet! Girasol! It’s the communication hub again.” Pearl said, calling the taller gems over.

“She’s evading my future vision…” Garnet said, adjusting her visor. 

“No matter how many times we try, we can’t see us finding Peridot.” Girasol said softly, pacing around Garnet. Garnet smacked her lips and turned around. 

“Come on team.” Pearl got to her feet eagerly, swiftly following Garnet and Girasol. 

“I can’t believe Peridot is giving us so much trouble..” Pearl said as they reached the communication hub. 

“But it hardly matters, right Garnet? Girasol?” She said shakily.

“We can disable this tower as many times as we need to together okay?” 

“Okay I’m ready!” She said standing on her toes and clasping her hands together. 

“Are you ready Garnet, Girasol?” 

“I know what she’s doing.” Amethyst said with worry, lacing her voice.

“You do?” Steven asked, turning to her confused. 

“Stop!” Amethyst shouted, causing the three to turn and look at them. 

“Is something the matter Amethyst?” Pearl asked, looking slightly worried.

“You- You shouldn’t!!” Amethyst yelled again, balling her hands into fists as she looked on at them. 

“Pearl, we saw you…” Steven said, turning to them just as Amethyst had.

“What?” Pearl now looked visibly afraid, her eyes widening as sweat dripped from her forehead. 

“You need to tell Garnet and Girasol it was you! Steven yelled, his brows curved up in worry. 

“I don’t understand,” Garnet and Girasol said in unison, briefly turning to each other before returning their attention back towards Amethyst and Steven. 

“I’m Sorry…” Pearl apologized softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she turned back to face them.

“It’s just so much fun being Sardonyx with you two…” They let go of Pearl rather quickly, causing her to fall to the ground with a thud and a grunt of slight pain. 

“That’s why we couldn’t see us finding Peridot.” They both looked at each other again, a mix of disgust, anger, and pure rage broke out across Girasol’s face, his fists clenched tightly by his sides, his knuckles whitening as he and Garnet backed away from Pearl.

“Wait!” Pearl shouted, shakily lifting herself up from her side on the ground and getting to her knees.

“Let me explain!!” 

“You’ve been fixing the hub!” Girasol shouted angrily as he stepped closer to Pearl who had risen to her feet and quickly took to backing away from him.

“I-it really was P-Peridot!!” Pearl stuttered, her facial features filled with terror as she saw how angry Girasol looked. 

“Th-the first time..” She looked down, trying to avoid Girasol’s hate filled glare.

“You tricked us.” He said flatly, still moving closer.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!!” We just n-needed a reason to f-fuse! I-I just wanted to share a few more victories with you two!” She said nervously, putting her hands together. 

“Those weren’t victories.” Garnet growled, appearing behind him.

“Wait! Garnet! Girasol!” Amethyst yelled, taking their attention off of Pearl.

“You know we’re so much weaker than you guys! Especially you Girasol!” Amethyst tried to explain from behind them.

“Fusing with you two is like, our one chance to feel…” She paused, gazing down at her shaky hands before clenching them and tilting her head back up, closing her eyes.

“Stronger!” She finished, reopening her eyes.

“Don’t defend her..” Garisol snarled, pointing a clawed finger at her chest, poking her gem.

“Peridot is out there somewhere and Pearl’s been distracting us with nothing!!” Garnet yelled, her lips curled back in a snarl.

“Garnet, Gariso-” Pearl tried, being cut off by Garnet. 

“That’s enough. She said, jabbing her own finger in Pearl’s face, causing her to stumble backwards.

“Amethyst. Fuse with us.” Girasol said dryly, reaching out a hand to her. 

“But-” Amethyst tried to refute, putting her hands up. 

“Let’s just get this over with..” He glared at Pearl, causing her to squeak and quiver in fear. 

Garnet, Girasol, and Amethyst marched up to each other and quickly fused into Sugilite, destroying the hub. 

Steven looked up at Pearl who was clutching her stomach tightly, her lip quivering. Her eyes were incredibly wide, her pupils only a fraction of their original size. Tears threatened to pour from her eyes and streak down her face, and she was trying her best to keep them in. 

Back at home, Steven and Amethyst were watching Crying Breakfast Friends together, Steven sitting on the floor and Amethyst curled up on the bed.  

“Please forgive me!” Said a crying pear. 

“Of course I forgive you!” Responded a crying spoon. The two objects ‘hugged’ then cried together. Steven looked around, watching Pearl walk through the front door sadly. Garnet and Girasol stepped off of the warp pad after coming back home. The three walked past each other and Pearl stopped, seemingly thinking of what to say but gave up after Garnet and Girasol kept walking. She sighed and continued as well. 

“Man.” Amethyst said after watching the ‘encounter’.

“It sure would be nice if things worked out the way they do in cartoons..” 

“Yeah..” Steven responded glumly.

“It would..”

A few hours later, Girasol is found sitting on the couch, his claws digging into his legs as he mutters to himself. As Steven got closer, he realized that he was having a conversation… with himself…

“You have to forgive her Rubellite…” He said softly, turning blue. 

“No!” He yelled back, turning red.

“I can’t! I won’t!! Don’t you understand Sodalite?!” He yelled. 

“Of course I understand, but please keep your voice down Rube-” He quickly changed from red, to blue, to red again.

“No! No! No! No! No! She disrespected us!! She used us for fusion!! Fusion!! Don’t you realize how important that is to us?! I’m NOT going to forgive her!!” He stood up pacing around the room as he changed from red to blue over and over as the argument continued, causing the others to gather around to watch as he occasionally came incredibly close to unfusing. 

“Rubellite, you’re causing a scene dear-” 

“Oh don’t you dear me! I have the biggest! BIGGEST!!!! Right to be upset right now!!” Tears began to spill from his eyes, leaking down his visor and falling to the floor.

“It’s going to be fine! Just forgi-” He stopped in his tracks, his eyes beginning to focus on Pearl who stood in the doorway, peering at the scene. 

“Uh oh” Girasol said in Sodalite’s voice as he felt himself begin to unfuse. He tried pushing the parts of Rubellite back into himself, trying to keep the angry gem contained. However, his efforts were in vain as the red gem leapt out from him, sending Sodalite to the floor with a crash. 

Rubellite quickly sprinted up to her, kicking off the walls and towards Pearl. He was on her in a millisecond, punching, and scratching, and kicking and biting. Sodalite quickly stood up from the floor and ran after him, hooking an arm around his waist and another around his arm, trying to pull him off of her. Pearl was curled up against the wall, covered in bruises and blemishes. She held a hand against her mouth and sobbed into it, large tears running down her face as she cried. Rubellite kept fighting against Sodalite, the two short gems struggling against the other. Rubellite was screaming, trying to claw at her with his free hand. He swore, and slashed, and spit, and cried. Snot dripped from his nose as saliva flew from his mouth as he yelled. 

Sodalite kept holding him no matter how hard he struggled. Rubellite backed up against him, crushing his nose against his spine. Tears poured down his face, dampening his sparring clothes. 

“Rubellite PLEASE!!” Sodalite pleaded with him, dragging him back inch by inch. 

“Please Rubellite!! Dear please!! Calm down!!” Rubellite had stopped making sense at this point only crying and screaming. Just as Sodalite thought he had brought him back far enough, he thrusted his hips up and shot a leg out, kicking Pearl in her gem and cracking it before his bottom half fell back to the ground. Sodalite managed to drag him out of the living room, hooking his arms around Rubellite to haul him away. His screams faded away as he was dragged into Sodalite’s room. 

Then the yelling grew louder and Rubellite escaped Sodalite's grasp and came for Pearl again. She flinched and held her hands up in front of her, expecting the worst. All she heard was Rubellite’s teeth clacking centimeters away from the flesh of her ear before he was dragged back into Sodalite’s room.

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

CW: Literally every mental health trigger you can think of, but primarily suicide and abuse.

It's not a secret to my loved ones that I've been struggling with mental health this past year.

January of 2023 started with me having a huge nervous breakdown that sent me straight into psychosis and ended with me being institutionalized for 9 days, and partially hospitalized for another month.

Then, when I was finally stable enough to go back into work, I was put on an employee improvement plan day 1, with clear intent for them to cover their bases and fire me because they had already hired my replacement.

If that wasn't shitty enough, I then got the call from my brother that my father had taken his own life at the age of 53, and I had to deal with the face that my last call with him, immediately after leaving the hospital... was about suicide.

So, I dealt with stress the only way I knew how, and just... mentally checked out from March until, well... probably the past two months? I don't remember much of what I did until I started going back to college. Just a few tidbits here and there, but that's just kinda how I've always dealt with stress. It's why I have basically no memory of my childhood, either.

Totally normal way to deal with stress, right?

Well, the things I do remember, and an issue that's intensified these past couple of months, is some weird nebulous health issue that miiiight be adrenal insufficiency? We're not sure exactly why, whether it's autoimmune like Addison's disease, a form of hypopituataryism or whatever, but the point is my cortisol, which is a steroid/hormone your body produces to deal with stress is just... not really happening.

There's fucking... boatloads of reasons this could occur, as mentioned, but one that stood out was Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in childhood, and sometimes in treatment resistant depression, like my dad had. I have an entire rant locked and loaded about how many symptoms between the two issues overlap, and how they should reeeeally look into the deficiencies that can cause depression, fatigue, back pain, abdominal discomfort, and all that... but I've got something else I want to shout into the void tonight.

But this realization... and the fact that I don't remember much of my childhood, and the fact that what I do remember is enough trauma to already have my psychiatrist talking about PTSD for years... kinda led me to realized that I might actually have that thing I've been diagnosed with already.

Yes, I know, my roommate already had the "Yeah, that obvious" reaction, but denial is a powerful thing, and this still isn't the point I'm getting to. For that, we need to circle back to my mental breakdown, and all the things that go through my head when I'm in active psychosis.

I occasionally have hallucinations. Not frequent enough, or persistent enough for a diagnosis of any of the diagnosis like schizophrenia or the like, just enough to throw me off kilter when I'm stressed, or haven't slept enough. I usually see visual hallucinations, usually people ducking behind cars, or standing over the bed, or sometimes just contextless gore that follows me around like a gnarly eye floater.

I don't usually hear voices, but when I do, it's not... well, it's not an auditory hallucination? It's like an intrusive thought, but... verbal. I'll start having thoughts in my never-ending mental monologue that just... aren't me. The way I described it to the nurse (when asking for every sedative they had, because I was convinced this fucker was the literal devil) was that it felt like someone thinking using my brain, and that it felt like being possessed.

I never acted on it. Obviously, because I'm back home with my cats, and not in jail. These thoughts are profoundly angry, but despite being in anger management as a child, somewhere along the way I just... stopped having an anger response? To anything? My mom claimed me and my brother were mistakes, insulted my nuclear waste disposal job, outed me as trans to a room full of doomsday preppers because we were, for some reason, having Thanksgiving at their house surrounded by AR15s, and I just... laughed it off, and then blocked her number for a year and a half?

This... voice or thought intrusion thing, though, it only ever appeared before when I would have these angry blackouts, which usually wouldn't happen more than once every several years, between which I'd be a fountain of calm.

The other part of psychosis, though, is delusion. I have depression psychosis that intensifies when I'm really, really down, and when I get the combo of those two feelings together, the conclusion my brain jumps to is that everyone around me is real, but I'm not somehow? I'll sit and think about how I never get mad, or how apathetic I'll feel, and while I tend to also start doubting reality around me, it's almost always centered around this distress over just not... being real, while desperately wanting to be.

I didn't have many hallucinations, though, and talking with a therapist usually keeps me from spiraling into that delusion. The usual medications for psychosis tend to make the depression worse, so it's a careful balance of making sure I don't get too deep, while also being able to, well... function with my ADHD? That I also have?

Well, Christmas came around, and after being pretty stable all things considered, I just... didn't sleep for fourty hours. It was the first holiday visit home since my dad had killed himself, and I was spending it with my mom after reconnecting with some hard boundries to make sure she was on her best behavior.

I've still been ill, vomiting, ect, so I didn't really eat much, and ended up looping back to driving the four hours back home, and once I pulled into the parking lot... boom. I see someone hiding behind a car. Then another. Then I realize that it's EVERY car, and I realize that I'm very definitely hallucinating, and need to get some sleep ASAP.

So, I take my night meds (mirtazepine mainly, which is technically a tetracyclic antidepressant, but seems to function like an antipsychotic for my particular brand of every kind of disorder intersecting), and hide in the bathroom while listening to something not-real rooting around my house when I'm home alone, which REALLY doesn't help with the sleeping thing... but somewhere between all that, I start hearing that same voice/narrative creeping into my head.

First reaction was "Oh shit, I thought I got rid of you" because my last interaction ended with them... storming out? It's difficult to explain, it was like they got frustrated and left, which I sometimes tell as a funny story of that time I annoyed my psychosis into remission.

This time, though... it's not anything angry, and it's not alone? But this very masc voice just starts asking me who I really want to be, that none of these things I hate about myself matter because I can just change it?

I was in full on scared child mode at that point, which tends to happen when I'm really, really scared... but I can still hear my usual thoughts, too? Like the normal part of my brain is still active, as well as the other hallucination, and the night basically ended with normal-me and this voice just trying to calm scared me down.

I slept for about fourteen hours, woke up, and went "What the actual fuck was that?" and tried explaining it to someone close to me with the preface of "Okay, so I don't have DID, but this weird thing happened..." followed by everything that happened put into words as best as I could.

Then, I had a therapy appointment. Same thing, except this time he's like "No, that actually sounds like textbook DID." and it kinda made me realize I didn't have an actual reason against that? So I tried to communicate on purpose, without the whole... staying up 40 hours thing, and kinda came to a realization.

That child is the real me. At least, the original, before the more heinous abuse happened when I came out as trans, but just... dealing with being beaten at ten for not wanting to sleep in a shed in winter.

Then, the angry one I hear sometimes, that's the me that built up during the closeted years. I was absurdly angry, repressed as hell, and getting into fist fights all the time, and just... absolutely not a functioning human being, until it just... stopped.

There's another big gap there. Just a big blur where I never left my room for literal years, and then got my first job in a nursing home, and just sort of became this... very gentle person. I was good with patients with dementia, or ones who were just jerks, because everything they said would just roll off, and even if a patient got violent, it was just immediately forgiven.

When I'm breaking down, it's almost always because that nature is being taken advantage of. I'll just get more and more work piled on top of me, because I don't know how to say anything back because I don't do anger.

Then... I remember that the me I've been all these years, this endlessly forgiving person is just... not real, in the usual sense of the word. That I'm built up to be the functional one who never provokes, because the previous me was an incredibly angry man, who was built up around a scared little girl who doesn't know why mom's hitting her for wanting to sleep inside.

To be honest, I have absolutely zero idea on how to cope with any of this. My self care skills ran out like three disorders ago, but neither of these other people I am can function, so I don't think anyone else can front properly. I'm tentatively calling them alters, but I seriously don't know as much about this as I thought I did.

I don't even know everything that happened, I don't think. The things I CAN remember are horrible enough to have my psychiatrist talking about CPTSD, but there are YEARS missing that I don't remember, but my body apparently does, because even losing my job and my father killing himself somehow hasn't prompted my body to release the amount of a stress hormone I need to live?

So I guess I'm just, like... shouting into the void, asking for any more modern resources about this than Wikipedia. I've talked with one friend who's also got some plurality going on, but like... how the fuck do I reach out to two traumatized people with conflicting gender identity that apparently share my body?

Also holy fuck no wonder I cut my hair into an androgynous style and bought a binder even though I'm transfem and already had breast augmentation. I've also been going through this cycle of alternating masc and fem presentation that I didn't do before this all started.

Bruh.

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter XXXII - I Want You To Want Me (side A - side B)

TW : Since I didn't want to spoil much, I've decided to divide the chapter in two sides and as you'll see the title of the 'side B', you'll understand the warning (as always, nothing too explicit). Just to clarify, the name of the sides are song's titles, I'll say more after the chapter.

WC : around 4100 words

Previous Chapter : Sweet

Next Chapter : Amandoti

Masterlist

**************************************************

SIDE A - DANCING

June 7, Tuesday, 15:57 (present time)

The Captain closed his room’s door behind him and I started to make way. When I opened the door right next to his, he spoke again.

“Wasn’t this locked?”

“It usually is. This is my br-…was…never mind.”

As I felt my voice break just at the thought of what that room was, I stopped speaking. Memories of the first and the last time I walked inside it come flooded into my mind, but I needed to put them back in a corner for now. I walked towards the bigger window and moved the white curtains to open the glass. I saw Mizuki downstairs playing with Ted and realized what was the best method to show to Captain Ackerman, why I wanted to use that room, even if it was even painful to walk into it. 

“Sir, would you please come here, next to me? It’s better if I show you this.”

He walked towards me and as soon as he got to my side, I screamed Mizuki’s name at the top of my lungs, after asking the Captain to brace himself and to look outside of the window. Even with my warning, Captain Ackerman flinched and turned to look at me as if I was a mad woman. I smiled at him. 

“I know, but I needed for you to see this for yourself.”

“See what? That you have strong lungs?”

“No. That Mizuki hasn’t heard me.”

“What? How couldn’t he? You just screamed…for…how is this possible?”

The Captain looked again outside the window and when he saw that Mizuki was still playing with Ted, as if I had never called him at all, he quickly understood.

“I don’t know precisely how, but my brother made it like this. I just know it’s a kind of spell, kept together thanks to a talisman hidden somewhere, something he probably learned in China. The point is, this room is safe. No sound could escape, even with open windows. But if you just protrude yourself a bit more…”

As a demonstration, I called for Mizuki again, in a less loud tone, with my bust almost completely outside the window. It was a dangerous position, but I needed to make the Captain understand. This time, Mizuki heard and waved at me. I asked him to prepare some tea for the Captain before backing up into the room and closing the window. 

“…you can be heard.”

“Exactly, Captain.”

“I get this was your brother’s room then.”

“His studio. His room is behind that other door but…I haven’t got in since…”

“I see. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t. I just avoid speaking of him out of habit.”

“I understand.”

“I know you do.”

I smiled at him, but his expression was now even darker than usual. I leaned over the desk in the centre of the room, while the Captain stayed close to the window, right in front of me. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to intrude into other people’s lives but the files are made to inform me. I know you hate me and the fact that I know things about you before I could even ask for permission, I don’t resent you for this.”

“It’s not that. I don’t like it, but I can’t hate you for something you can’t choose, as Sebastian explained to us.”

“Thank you. But then, can I ask why you seem…angry?”

“Angry? Am I a child?”

“Your expression changed when I said I understand you. That is an emotion I would feel in your shoes, however childish it may seems.”

“That’s…because I don’t like being exposed. I reserve anger for other occasions.”

“Then…did you feel anger when I kissed you before?”

Where did I find the courage to ask that question, will remain a mystery even to me. He unexpectedly chuckled, showing me his perfect profile before turning again to look outside the window, careful not to get too exposed. 

“What kind of question is this?”

“It’s…a question. Would you answer it?”

My voice trembled as my hands did. I tried to control myself caressing the ring on my index finger, the one my brother gifted me. But it didn’t matter how many times I made the ring spin, tension was accumulating all over my body. The fact that I couldn’t see his expression, if not by a fragment of his reflect upon the closed glass of the window he stood by, made me even more nervous. Was I making a fool of myself? Probably yes. I could see from that little reflection of him that he was looking down and for a moment I was lost in contemplation of his beauty. Every time I looked at him I was sure it would’ve been the last one, so my brain picked up the habit to scan every detail to impress it. His jaw, his eyelids, his nose, his lips and even the length of his lashes. I felt my skin blush as I realized how far I already was with my feelings for him within a few interactions. His eyes suddenly opened and he looked straight into my face through the same reflection I was using to stare at him. As our gaze crossed my heart started to thump louder as my breath accelerated. He spoke. 

“No.”

Oh. Right. How stupid I was, thinking he would answer me. I’ve asked something stupid to begin with. I laughed, my usual nervous laugh. I looked down to my feet. 

“Right. I already know too much about what you’ve felt and experienced, it’s only natural you want to keep something to yourself.”

“No, Miss. I meant, I wasn’t angry.”

Oh. We stared at each other through the glass again. Both of us with a serious expression depicted all over our faces. My stomach dropped suddenly and I gulped before speaking. I tried to fake indifference, but the shaking of my voice probably betrayed me more than anticipated. 

“G-good. I a-acted on an impulse, but Sebastian seemed to accept it. I mean, I’ve told him I confessed and you refused me, that’s why I was angry days ago, and that I k-kissed you because I lost control as I wanted to t-thank you for telling me about his behaviour that morning and kept the secret of my confession and your refusal. It sounds s-stupid now, b-but he’s used to me being pathetic, so I think…he believed me. You should be fine now. He won’t be in charge of the squad anymore.”

“Miss?”

“Yeah?”

“You shouldn’t think of yourself as pathetic.”

My mind went blank and tears started to veil my sight as my voice went louder before breaking completely. It only took him a simple phrase to let me pour out what I repeated to myself over and over as a mantra, all the words I never dared to speak out loud because I knew it would be a bother for the other to listen to them.

“Oh but I do. I am pathetic. I can’t even face my own feelings and I always lean on others. I always cry, like I’m about to do now. I don’t know what to do with my life, I just want it to end, but then I think I’m the only one who could help my brother, and that’s not even true because I don’t think I’ll ever find a way to help him. All I can do is complain and I can’t totally escape from the files, and I have responsibilities I don’t want, but then I do want them, because otherwise I would be nothing. And because that’s my legacy. I can’t even afford to kill myself because it would be irresponsible towards all of the people who rely on me. And I actually want to live. I want to be free and love and be loved, but it’s complicated and it hurts. It fucking hurts without Cesare. I just want him back. I miss him. I tried to move on, look for another kind of feeling that could make me feel whole but it was pointless. At least it was until you...but anyway, it's still pointless. I miss how Cesare took care of me and how much he made me feel loved. Without him I don't know who I am anymore, because all I used to be before him was an empty shell and now I'm back at that point. All I used to be has been erased and I feel nothing. Recently I've just started to feel something actually, but I know it's doomed and still a part of me wishes to pursue those feelings. I’m selfish and pathetic and I just want…I want…”

I want you to want me.  I need you to need me.  I'd love you to love me.  I'm beggin' you to beg me.

Most of the thoughts I had just declared weren't organized and there were things he couldn't understand without a backstory, but he let me talk anyway. Without realizing how it happened, it dawned to me I was crumpling his shirt into my fist while sobbing on his chest. As I stopped ranting, he let me go from his embrace. I mentally cursed myself for not being able to stay lucid enough to actually feel his arms around me, his comfort, his smell, as everything disappeared in a matter of seconds while he took his distance. But then…

**************************************************

I deducted she was talking about her brother, or rather, I was hoping my hunch was right as I felt uneasy at the thought of someone else…

No. 

No. 

No. 

It couldn’t be. 

No. 

Was I attracted…to…her? Was I starting to like someone else? No, I wouldn’t allow it. No. I was sure no one else would ever cut it for me if it wasn’t Erwin. He had been my sun, as I was always orbiting around him like I was attracted by something bigger than words could ever describe. He gave me a reason to live when I was lost and pulled me out of a miserable life. To say that I loved him was to banalize my own feelings and our bond. When I’ve asked him to give up on his dream that damned day, I did it too. I gave up every chance at happiness, knowing that even if we managed to destroy every titan on earth and save humanity, without him in this world I would never feel complete again. My heart was dedicated only to him and our greater cause, no one else would ever enter it. I could care for others, but it was never comparable to what I felt for him. So why was I feeling restless while she was pouring again all of her tears and fears out loud? Was I only uncomfortable as I wasn’t used to witness this kind of emotional breakdown? I could face the other’s panic and fear while battling, but these deeper feelings she was pouring out…that was the only thing I always tried to escape from. My pain for Erwin’s death had never been visible to anyone, I always kept myself in check. Hange knew and understood but we never had a proper conversation about it, despite her efforts. But her, the Miss in front of me, was just crumbling, now for the second or third time in my presence. She was clearly embarrassed and ashamed, but at least she had the courage to acknowledge her emotions. She was letting herself show vulnerability. I would reprimand anyone else who ever behaved like that, but I only thought of her as brave. I couldn’t believe I was thinking that of her. With all of her tears and messed up face, I saw a gentle kind of strength, something I lacked and never felt the necessity to build. What was going on inside my mind? I refused to believe my heart was involved. Was I pitying her? But then, why was I thinking of kissing her as the first option to ease her pain? Why was I recalling her trembling and soft lips against mine and her hands over my face while my body went autopilot and pushed her agains my chest? Even before, when she had asked me if I was angry at her because she had kissed me, I realized I was never been angry at her for that sudden gesture. Actually it felt…sweet. Sensing her insecurities brought me back of years, and I saw myself in her actions. But I knew it wasn’t only that. What I felt, somewhere inside my chest, was warmth, vaguely familiar and yet entirely different from what I once felt. And now, her words were striking chords I thought I had buried under layers of intended apathy. 

"...but I know it's doomed and still a part of me wishes to pursue those feelings. I’m selfish and pathetic and I just want…I want…”

I had missed that kind of warmth too, and now I wasn’t sure I could give it up. I didn’t even realized I was searching for that warmth again but here I was, thinking of ways to feel it once more. It would never be the same as with Erwin, I knew that, but if she was feeling selfish and pathetic, I realized we were just the same. I took my distance from her and as I saw her flushed face I lost control of myself. I collected her hot tears with my thumbs, a futile gesture since she was still crying and had no intentions to stop soon. There was just one thing I wanted to do right now. I brought her face to mine. Questions and reasons be damned.

**************************************************

…he kissed me. 

My mind was completely blank. I couldn’t think of anything if not registering what my body was feeling. It wasn’t the sweet kiss of this morning, it was different, there was something more. Maybe it was my tears’ fault, since they were still running and getting involved between our lips, but there was an unexpected urgency in it, as if we had to wait centuries to do this. At least it felt like I had. 

"Time is gonna take my mind  and carry it far away where I can fly.  The depth of life will dim  my temptation to live for you. If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears,  'cause it's all about love and I know better  how life is a waving feather."

In the heat of the moment, I balled up his collar into my fists, since I didn’t dare to touch him. I was afraid that if he recognized that it was me who was touching him, that he was kissing me and not someone else, that moment would’ve finished. This kiss felt as desperate as fragile, as if even the slightest movement could burst the bubble we were in and destroy everything. From time to time I opened my eyes for a millisecond, just to make sure this wasn’t a dream or a fantasy of mine. And every time he was still there, with the same crease between his eyebrows and his long lashes, focused in how to take my breath away in more ways than one. Slowly his hands, first cupping my face, started to move. One went on my elbow between us and I took the liberty to move that same arm around his neck, bringing our bodies even closer. Without thinking, my fingers started to run through his hair, alternating between little squeezes to push him against me and light caresses. His other hand did almost the same holding the back of my neck as we both simultaneously asked the other an unspoken permission to deepen the kiss. We mutually gave access to the other to explore more than just lips, giving in and completely surrender to the feelings. 

"So I put my arms around you, around you,  and I know that I'll be leaving soon.  My eyes are on you, they're on you  And you see that I can't stop shaking."

I wasn’t that naive to think this was something meaningful for him, but it didn’t matter at all. I wouldn’t renounce to this. I lost my balance and I gripped his shirt’s collar even more tightly, pulling him towards me, while the other hand stretched behind me, hitting the desk and making it slightly move, provoking a loud sound. As a response, his hand, the one that wasn’t keeping my nape, went to held my waist, probably a reflex in order to not let us both fall. As I took a step back and hit the desk again, the same hands we had just used to steady our position found a new purpose, something more intimate. I felt my insecurities resurface as he traveled across my stomach to reach my groin and I grabbed his hand to stop him, which was something I was fearing from the beginning. For the first time in minutes, we stopped and actually looked at each other, or at least we could’ve done so, but as our foreheads touched, I looked down, avoiding his eyes while we were both trying to catch our breath. Everything felt surreal and I needed to set everything in.

"No I won't step back  but I'll look down to hide from your eyes  'cause what I feel is so sweet,  and I'm scared that even my own breath  oh, could burst it, if it were a bubble,  and I'd better dream if I have to struggle."

He spoke first. 

“Did I do something…?”

“No. No. Just my insecurities acting up. But since we stopped…not here, please.”

He took my hand, interlacing our fingers. For a moment I felt I could’ve died for that touch only, as if we hadn’t just consumed each others’ breaths and lips for minutes. As we walked out the room, pointing towards his room, I heard various kitchen sound and I remembered Mizuki’s task to bring tea over. I stopped walking and he looked straight at me with a burning gaze. Whenever he’d laid his eyes upon me, his gaze lingered on my skin for days, but this time I was sure I would never forget that sensation. 

“I know I’m ruining the mood but…I have to stop him for bringing tea or…”

“Shit, yes, right. Go. I’ll wait”

As I was thinking about what to say to Mizuki, probably something about serving the tea after I’d left with Ted, I found myself praying for the Captain to wait for real. Did I just ruined my only chance? I put myself on tiptoe to reach his lips again, stealing a last quick peck as to confirm his promise to wait for me, while putting both of my arms around his neck. He gently leaned forward to help me get steady on my feet before going. I walked away and I often looked back at him, always finding him in the same position, in front of his room’s door, with an unreadable expression. I kept praying he would keep his word, knowing full well this was the only chance I had.

"So I put my arms around you, around you and I hope that I will do no wrong. My eyes are on you, they're on you and I hope that you won't hurt me."

*******************************************************

SIDE B - SEX

What the fuck was happening? I completely lost control. I went inside my room while waiting for her to come back. Was I really waiting for her to continue where we had left off? Was I behaving like a fucking brat at my age? Getting hot and bothered out of what? It was only because I suddenly felt a sting of jealousy out of nowhere? Not that I was that much experienced to begin with, but still, I should’ve known better. I was sure I couldn’t like her for real and she was clearly getting the wrong idea, considering how much she was shivering into my arms. I didn’t know I could be such a jerk. I went for her as soon as she showed vulnerability like the most basic piece of shit, knowing full well that our actions meant more for her. She was my way of getting back some of that lost warmth, but I was positive it meant something more, or different, to her. Also, she had a fiancée, for God’s sake. I buried my head between my hands. What was I doing? Why? Had I always been a total jerk like this? A more frightening thought creeped inside my mind. What if I was just being delusional? What if I was actually feeling something and even me cursing at myself was a cowardly way to escape those long forgotten emotions I wanted to reserve just for my past with Erwin? The click of the door shutting made me look forward. She stayed there, leaning on the door, with her arms hidden behind her back, still clutching the handle. Her face was a mess, flushed and with puffy eyes, as even messier hair fell on her shoulders. Now I knew for sure I was going crazy as the only word left on my mind was “beautiful” where, in another situation, I would’ve felt indifference at best. She spoke. 

“I-I don’t have much time left but…if you want…if you still-“

I couldn’t bear anymore words. 

“And this is how it starts”

My head was exploding and my blood was rushing into all the wrong places. I took the initiative and walked towards her, interrupting her speech with a kiss, replicating what we were doing before. I cursed myself again, thinking she would probably consider me an animal more than a human being. When I felt her hands touching my chest I took it as a sign of acceptance, so I was a bit surprised when she pushed me a little, interrupting the kiss. Maybe she was the only one thinking clearly after all. The words she said later as she started to fiddle with my shirt again surprised me even more. 

“S-sorry but I’m not lucid enough to…I need to see where the buttons are.”

We were goners. Now it was clear. I let her undress me of my shirt while walking backward towards the bed. When she had finished to unbutton it, she put her hands on my collarbones to push me down to seat on the edge of the bed before finally removing my shirt and kneeling down on the floor. 

"My shirt, looks so good  when it's just hangin' off your back."

I was captivated by her expression, so different from before. She threw my shirt on the floor behind her and I realized this whole event was taking another turn as I focused on her bright smile. I had never seen her like this. She was clearly conscious, faking a certain level of confidence as her hands, now colder than I could’ve imagined, moved onto my belt. 

"Now we're just outside of town  and you're making your way down.  She's got a boyfriend anyway."

Her smiling face got closer to mine, probably as a way to search comfort and permission at the same time. My hands gripped her hair to bring her even closer and close the infernal gap between our lips. Bewitched. I was completely at her mercy. Then and there a lost thoughts about how wrong this was resurfaced, but as soon as I grazed her skin, as she smiled, as our lips touched, as she touched every inch of me, all of my worries melted away. The urgency to feel all of her got the best of me and suddenly I moved to pick her up and let her climb on the bed, over my naked lap, to clear out my intention. 

"Now we're on the bed in my room  and I'm about to fill his shoes,  But you say, 'No'.  You say 'No'.  Does he take care of you  Or could I easily fill his shoes?  But you say, 'No'.  You say 'No'."

Our foreheads touched again. She was looking down, right straight into my eyes as her hair fell around my face, a light curtain that made me tickle. I stopped her hand, still occupied into pleasuring only me.

"And I'm not trying to stop you, love  If we're gonna do anything, we might as well just fuck  She's got a boyfriend anyway."

My hand went to down on her, moving first along her thighs, that were now enclosing my hips, never losing our eye contact. Everything was different with her, it felt new, it was almost as if I had never done any of this. Electricity passed through our bodies as we shared everything we had with the other, whether it was air, feelings, needs, heat, sweat and bodies. Our hands never stopped exploring the other, increasing and decreasing the pace in perfect harmony, as if we already knew everything about us and were both surprised by the effect we could have on the other. Even after our peaks passed we stayed still for a while, trying to collect our thoughts and breaths. She kissed me tenderly before getting off of me, now left seated on the bed. I wanted to say something, but no word came out of my mouth. She collected her scattered clothes, very few garments, as we never even bothered to remove all of them. I just looked at her as she walked to the door, I jumped right off the bed as soon as I realized she was practically running away, but it was too late. As I was buttoning my slacks, she spoke and I interrupted my doing. 

“S-sorry…and…thank you.”

She smiled gently and melancholically before closing the door. I swear something inside my chest tighten at the sight of her expression. 

"Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?"

I noticed a slight change in her features right before the door closed. She was hurt, probably crying again, but I wasn’t capable of doing anything. I was disgusted with myself. I let her go and only after she had closed the door it dawned to me what I wanted to say. I whispered it out loud, even if it was meaningless. 

“Stay.”

*******************************************************

Author's note: It happened. Yes, it did. I wanted to convey a lot of different feelings and emotions there, from both sides and I hope I managed to do so. As for the songs, they were among the first that brought me to write a story, so they really mean a lot to me and to 'Nomen' too. The lyrics of all three of them are written and they are I Want You To Want Me (Gary Jules' version, first and last lyrics written), Dancing by Elisa (Italian singer who often sings in English and whose voice can make you ascend to Heaven from my point of view. Her lyrics are in side A, right after the kiss) and Sex by The 1975 (side B, of course). Anyway I want to let you settle everything and so thank you for reading, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and the turn of events.

[nei-ning]

Dream from last night.

I was in a car with my sis and her best friend. We drove past one yellow wooden house. Tiny and old. It’s chimney had collapsed and smoke was rising from somewhere. We stopped and I hopped out and smelled smoke, announcing it out loud so that sis’ best friend could call fire fighters.

I myself rushed on the yard, noticing that the smoke was coming from the ground. There had been something which had exploded and was still smoking with small flames. I started to toss snow on the flames when small fire/oil bomb exploded a bit further away. I yelled my sis and her friend to stay away since there were hidden bombs.

I next noticed thin black body inside the grass by my side, then some spots of red. I soon realized it was Shadow the Hedgehog and he was badly hurt. Don’t know WHAT he was doing there, but I picked him up, noticing his left leg was gone. It had either burned off or exploded. I carried him bit further away, yelling we need ambulance too since there’s someone injured. I started to take care of him when a woman, maybe even sis’ bestie, came to me. She said he needs to be put down but I said there’s no reason to. He will recover and I will take him to live with me, take care of him. She then looked at me asking: “How about your children? How they will react on his missing leg?” She was honestly more or less displeased with the idea of kids seeing a person missing a leg.

I told her - a lie - that my kids would be fine since ever since they were small, I had shown them pics of cats missing first 1 toe, then 2 toes, 3 toes, whole paw, part of the leg, whole leg etc. A lie was that I had no kids :’D I don’t know why I had lied about that to her earlier at some point. But she seemed to believe this.

I then ended up in my old neighbor’s kitchen back in my hometown with sis. The husband was home with his 2 oldest child. We all sat around the table in the kitchen as he talked to us. At first all was okay but then he started to tell us which things are most important in life. When he said “education”, he gave me a weird but short glare. I instantly got pissed since, yes, I have no education in this life (not after being bullied for 5 years by kids, teacher and headmaster of the school). I stood up, saying with slight angry voice:

“Of course you looked at ME when you said education!”

He started to talk but I didn’t let him. I talked over him over and over again until I managed to shut him up. I said with anger:

“If I have food in my fridge, it’s nothing away from you! You still have food in your fridge! If I have money in my wallet, it’s nothing away from you since you still have money in your own wallet! That what I have or get is never nothing away from someone else!”

I think I ranted a bit more until we came in my old home’s living room. He was already sitting on the black leather couch as I sat on the chair, huffing with arms crossed over my chest. He asked:

“What would you like to do in life as a job if you could?”

“Take care of horses.” I said, but soon continued: “But I can’t do even that without education because apparently you are NOT capable of doing such job with 10+ years of experience. It means nothing. Hell, I know how to take care of horses!”

My dream ended here but I will explain my real life experience about horses below.

And that is all true. My father, back in the days, got himself a stallion foal (and he still has this stallion, 25 years later). He was 1 year old when we got him. At first he was solely my father’s responsibility but as an animal lover and as a child who enjoyed physical activities, I was always with him, watching how he took care of the stallion. Slowly dad started to give me tasks. “Feed him at 4pm with these. Keep checking he has water constantly during the hot summer days etc.” simple stuff like that because he knew I could do them. But eventually, when he noticed I was able to handle the stallion if / when he escaped from the fence etc. he left him completely in my care.

I think he also lost his interest on him more or less because our stallion was very afraid about his ears. No human or nothing not-living couldn’t touch them without him freaking out so bad! He had some temper too but he wasn’t bad stallion because, hey, he could had been worse.

So, then for over years and years, it was I who took care of him. Around the clock, summer or winter. Father, at times, fed him around 5am before he went to work but most of the time that was my job. Not only I took care of the stallion, but when father agreed to take working horse mare from his sister (who couldn’t handle the mare with any of her family members), yup, it was I who started to take care of her too. Not that I minded since I loved her! She was big and strong! I always had wanted a big horse someday in my life!

She, like our stallion, had her faults, and I had days when I felt really pissed about taking care of them constantly all by myself. I never minded about HELPING father take care of them but leaving them COMPLETELY on ME... With that I was not okay with.

But still, I mostly have good memories and experiences. I took care of them both for years and years before we sold our house and we all moved in different places to live. Dad naturally took the horses. The mare, sadly, passed last year because of old age. She was over 30.

I got a little lost about the topic but in all seriousness: NO matter HOW MUCH experience you have in Finland about things, like I have about taking care of horses, YOU CAN’T GET A JOB, not even as a waitress, if you DON’T HAVE EDUCATION. But there’s another twist. You also CAN’T GET a job if you have TOO GOOD EDUCATION / if you have study TOO MUCH! Seriously, there has been cases in the news and on social media where people have said:

“I was in a job interview and after I showed my CV to the person who interviewed me, they said I am too educated and therefor not suitable for the job! I was not hired even that I was perfect for the job!”

“I have sent over 500 job applications in each month and I never get a reply! Or if I do, it’s always something such as: “Thank you for your interested towards us but sadly you were not chosen.” I’ve education and I’m good at my job but none of that doesn’t seem to matter.”

etc.

[rcksmith]

Distracted — Five Hargreeves

Requests: “shit, i forgot. I'm the one who asked for smut prompts #30, #31, #61 and #96. Could you write them for Five Hargreeves? Thank you! So sorry to spam you with the asks X-X”

Smut prompts :

30. “I’d hold on to something if I were you.”

31. “Pushing back against my fingers already? How pathetic.”

61. “what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?”

96. “I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.”

Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem! Reader.

Warnings: smut heavy, NSFW, dirty talk, swearing, degradation. (I was in a bad mood hkjskjs)

Word count: 4k

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Five Hargreeves had a bad temper. It was explicit, hanging from his chest on a giant sign that said: “ABANDONATE THE HOPES IF YOU ENTER HERE.” And he knew that.

Inside his body he housed a sarcastic, explosive and sulky soul, with no patience for half the world. Everything about him exuded a dangerous, authoritarian, arrogant energy, mixed with distilled look that have always been able to subdue anyone.

Five is the type of man who, while everyone dreams of easy solutions, he knows that if he wants something to be done he will have to do it himself. He likes a hunting, taking the lead in any situation, having no problem breaking rules to make things happen.

And he was perfectly comfortable with that. Taking control of his world. Until, of course, you show up. Taking the key to his Olympus as if it had always belonged to you.

You were the one thing that Five Hargreeves couldn't subdue. He was unable to impose to you his reputation as a man who should not be challenged. Because that was exactly how the world saw Five. Like a man you don't challenge. Even his siblings realized, after a certain point, that it was not advisable to play with him.

But, apparently against all common sense, none of this had an effect on you.

You were not afraid, or pondering your words. You rolled your eyes at the things he said, mocked his arrogance and always looked at him with a combination of a smile and a look that, holy mother of God, Five hated. It was the typical expression that said: “ I know a lot more than you do, but I will be quiet because you are not worth my time.”

Five Hargreeves had a bad temper. But you raised it to stratospheric proportions.

It was completely exasperating, outstanding, you were a brat who didn't hear the voice of an adult, so used to being daddy's little girl. Because that was how he saw you. You were only 24 age while he was 30. It was expected that you heard him! But no. You did not give a damn.

“If you listened to me and chose the Colombian, that wouldn't be so bad!” Five scolded again.

This was the twentieth time he had said that to you.

There was a routine with the Hargreeves siblings: you brought coffee on Mondays, since you passed a great coffee shop on the way. Diego was responsible for bringing Japanese food on Wednesdays, Luther for Indian food on Fridays and Klaus for pizzas on Saturdays. It was a banal thing, but it brought a comforting feeling of, no matter how not anyone would admit, tradition.

But it was obvious that you had to piss Five off on that too.

“And I already said that they don't do the Colombian before ten in the morning.” You passed the page of a magazine you were reading, ignoring his tantrum.

“And you can't wait ?!”

This time you looked up at Five, giving a mocking expression.

“Oh, forgive me, your majesty. I will delay my journey just because your eexcellency wants Colombian coffee.” You laughed, turning your attention to the magazine.

Five felt the tips of his ears heat up, the fingers of his hands go white from the force that he clenched his fists. You were so fucking annoying!

"You are unbearable." He said, because he saw no other way to express the hateful little monster you were.

You looked up at him again. “Serious? Me? You are the one who is complaining about not getting your blend coffee.” You turned your attention to the magazine “Like a child who didn't get chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.”

What?! Fucking what?!

Five opened his mouth in bewilderment, now anger rising up his neck. How dare you, fuck?! You were younger than him!

"What did you say?!" He repeated, his voice low but deep, his eyes bloodshot with rage.

You didn't take your attention away from the magazine by replying: “Like a child who didn't get chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.”

Oh, no. Oh fucking no.

Five slammed the coffee travel cup on the kitchen counter, walked over to you and closed your magazine brutally. You looked at him indignantly.

"What a fuck ..."

But Five didn't give you time to finish. He stuck both hands in your arms, forcing you to get up from the chair so quickly that the object fell to the floor. He pushed you back, lifting you up and making you sit at the wooden table, his eyes still on fire with your words.

"Child, isn't it ?!” He snarled, spreading your knees with his hands, settling his body still standing between your legs.

You were wide-eyed. Looking at him in amazement. Your heart was pounding in your chest so hard that you thought Five would be able to hear it, while your breath had been lost somewhere between the path from your lung to your nose.

Holy shit.

It was no secret that Five Hargreeves was gorgeous. This was not an opinion, it was a fact. With midnight hair, emerald green eyes and alabaster skin, it was not surprising that he was able to steal his breath wherever he went. And you were not immune to his charm. To be honest, you never thought it would be.

But the difference between you and the girls who fell at his feet was that ... well, you practically lived with the guy every day. You had been friends with Klaus for two years, and as a result you ended up becoming friends with the brothers and captivating them. It was almost atypical that you weren't with them. So, as a result, you ended up having time with Five too.

And, truth be told, it destroyed your will to want to impress him. As was common whenever see someone beautiful. Five Hargreeves was, in every way, arrogant. Irritating. Unbearable. Maybe it was your lust mixed with irritability, but you decreed that you didn't like him. That you would never want to fall into his bed.

Well…until now.

Until he accommodates his fucking tall, lean, firm body in the middle of your legs. Until his hands are glued to your arms in a touch of fire. Until your heart was racing like never before.

"You called me a child, didn't you?"

You wouldn't be able to answer anything in that second, even if your life depended on it. So you just nodded, a slow, cautious nod, like prey looking at hunter.

"I will show you my age!"

Five kissed you. In a way that no one had kissed you before. It was something hungry, angry, full of lust and with a desire that made you sigh softly. His hands were still on your legs, coming down to the back of your knees and pulling you firmly forward, sticking your whole body against his in a possessive way. His tongue invaded your mouth without waiting for an invitation, renouncing everything you had to offer as his.

That was a really kiss.

You put your hands on the back of his neck, running your fingers over the silky, black strands, letting your body be pressed against his as if you had been waiting for it a lifetime. Five pulled your legs closer, guiding you to close them around his hips and, once you did, his hands, determined and hungry, roam the sides of your body possessively.

"Five ..." a groan cut off your speech when his hands clung to your waist, pressing the hard and firm member to your core covered in the thin legging pants you wore.

"You already moaning and I haven't even touched you yet." His voice was overwhelmingly arrogant, full of amusement and convincing.

You were going to answer, because you weren't the kind of girl who kept quiet with a tease, but Five's hands made your waist roll around handily against his member, and a louder groan interrupted any line of reasoning you had.

“Oh, how adorable.” He scoffed, lowering his mouth to your neck and closing a hickey where pulse was “I wonder how the moaning will be when I do ...”

His right hand moved up to the inside of your thigh, rubbing his thumb in circles until he got to where you needed it most. “This.” Then he forced the movements where your clitoris was covered.

Your groan was louder than you would like to admit. The air became caustic, rarefied, the atmosphere became something breathtaking, claustrophobic, poignant. And, before you know it, it was already a wet clay in his hands.

Five Hargreeves had won. He had you exactly where him wanted.

Your moans grew louder when he tuned his thumb movements together with his pelvis movements against you. Your hands tightened on the back of his neck, your teeth closed on your lower lip in order to contain the volume, and your breathing was shaky. Your hips pushed against him, the thin leggings being smeared by the arousal that oozed from you, and as soon as his hand was only an inch away, you followed it with your hips.

“Pushing back against my fingers already? How pathetic.” Five played with the voice at the bottom of your ear.

You pulled the air against your teeth, whimpering, wanting anything he could give you.

“I bet ...” his lips slid under your skin without kissing, just making you wish, up to your lips and hovering there, a sigh away “If I asked you to take your clothes off and let me fuck you in this table like a good whore, you would gladly do. It is not?”

His free hand went to your face, taking a stir of your hair out of your eyes and placing it behind your ear. You were unable to contain the moan, closing your eyes tightly for a second, trying to contain how much your body screamed.

"Y-yes." You whined.

“Good." Five sprinkled a kiss on your lips before walking away.

You opened your eyes, your chest rising and falling with your heaving breath, your legs shaking. Your body screamed in protest at the separation, and you sent him a confused and inquiring look.

“You will learn who is in charge here." Five gave you a sly smile. "I'm only going to fuck you when you understand this."

Then he turned his back on you, took the coffee and disappeared in the blue flash.

This son of fucking bitch!

- - -

You were angry and frustrated. To say the least. Your body was on fire and mind replayed that day over and over in your head. It had been four days since Five's little exploits in the kitchen, and, to be honest, not only had he started the teasing.

Five gave you malicious and discreet smiles, gestured a lot more with his hands when he spoke just to remind you of what they could do. He hovered his body close to your whenever possible, brushing his shoulder against your, his hand gently on your back when he needed to pass beside you. His fingers even slid under your thigh under the table when you were having dinner. It was always like that.

And you were already crazy.

In the beginning, you sent him and their little game go to hell. He was not going to get what he wanted. But as the days went by, and Five started to touch you more often, the fire inside you burst, and it felt a lot less... torture if you just... gave in. The thought of sleeping with someone else just to appease that didn't bring you the same euphoria, you didn't just want sex, you wanted Five.

You knew he was playing with you. Just wanted you to give a sign that you were surrendering, so that he could give you what you wanted.

And after seven days, you gave in.

It was Monday, your mood was already an angry monster, but this time, you arrived a little later.

“Y/n, you are lateeeeee.” Klaus sang from the kitchen, biting off a large chunk of whatever it was before he sat down.

Vayna, Luther and Five were also at the table. Vayna and Luther talking about nothing important and Five reading a book under metaphysics.

"Traffic."

You lied, placing the tray of coffees in the middle of the table. Five and Luther were the first to get, Vayna still getting used to coffee addiction.

“Allison and I are going to watch something today. Why don't you come with us? ” You sat next to Klaus, throwing one leg over his.

"Is it going to be in the cinemove?”

He denied “In the living room, you can sleep here after."

You shrugged. “Okay.”

"Did you go to a different coffee shop?" Luther raised his eyebrows, having just swallowed his coffee.

“No, why?”

“It tastes different.” He drank some more.

“It is Colombian.” You put the cards on the table, in a game that only you and Five knew.

You didn't look at him, but you could feel his eyes on you and a sly, malicious smile brushing the right side of his mouth. That was the only interaction that you felt Five driving you that day. The hours had passed and it was already one in the morning when the movie in the mansion's ended. It was not atypical you slept in the mansion, the guest room was almost called “your room” at that time. But there was… there was something different this time.

As you unbuttoned your pants, with the night breeze coming in through the window, you thought that maybe it was because you never slept there having feelings for one of the siblings. So impure feelings. There was something about sleeping under the same roof as Five that made you ... nervous. But as soon as you removed the piece and placed it on the bed, the blue flash flashed behind you.

Your whole body went tense, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and your heart was racing as if, suddenly, you had just returned from a marathon. You swallowed, the heat of his body hitting your back, while his hand went up your arm gently.

"You are such a good girl." Five's voice made your legs tremble, the butterflies in your stomach roll.

In this moment, feeling things that you never thought you would be able to feel, you wished always were a good girl for him.

"Did you do that for me?" His mouth joined the pice of your shoulder and neck.

You knew he knew he did, but the bastard wanted to hear it from you. Five wanted you to confirm that he had won.

“Yes” You whispered, the moonlight allowing you to see when his hand went down to your belly, playing with the cos of your dark blue panties.

"I knew you would be a good girl for me."

Then, taking you by surprise, Five pushed your chest onto the bed, bending you over, pulling your hips towards his with the other hand. You sighed when you felt his already hard member hit your pussy just covered by thin panties, now wet with your mess. Your hands closed on the sheet, your heart almost screaming in relief at the contact of his body behind you.

God, you wanted him so fucking much...

“What am I supposed to do with you?” Hargreeves reflected on a rhetorical question, his hands sliding over your surrendered body, squeezing your flesh with a force that would leave marks.

You whimpered, rolling your hips over his member. "Please"

“What would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?” Five slapped your left cheek.

You moaned softly, tightening the sheet, your body refusing to remain an inch away from him. Your hips needed more from Five's, your whimpers increasing as he took off your panties and ran his fingers through your wet folds.

"Five!" You moaned louder, biting your lip as he played with your entrance.

"Should I just fuck you with my fingers?" He caused your entry with two digits "Or with my dick?"

You were an incoherent mess, days of denial and desire that burned arthrosis in your body.

"Answer me!" Five slapped you again, this time louder, more grotesque, making you cry out.

"Y-your dick!" You tried to say, “P-please. Fuck me with your dick, please. ”

You were desperate, that was the truth. Desperate for contact, desperate for touch. Desperate for anything that Five Hargreeves could want from you. Anything he wanted to give you.

"Hard?" His voice was now dark, slightly wicked.

“Y-yes! Please!”

Then Five stuck his hand to the back of your neck, curling his fingers in your hair and pulling your face up, making you face the ceiling as he leaned over and snarled at your neck:

"How hard?"

"Give me all!" You begged “Please, Sir. Give me all."

That title seemed to drive him out of his mind. Because the only thing you had in response was the sound of his belt falling to the floor and the rustle of his pants and boxers down, his right hand never leaving your hair. You groaned in anticipation, tears pricking your eyes from the desire that had accumulated so long when you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance.

Five lowered his mouth to your ear, holding his hand more in your hair as he said: "I’ d hold on to something if I were you. "

Then he entered you. Hard, rough, wild. Opening all your walls and spreading your abundant liquid all over his dick. You opened your mouth in a silent scream, your nails etched hard on the sheet, tears streaming from your eyes without warning. Five gave you just a few seconds to settle for his size, starting to beat inside you at a relentless pace.

This time you screamed. Your heart pounding in chest, your pussy pulsing around Five with so much desperation that you heard him moan and curse behind you. The pace was rough, heavy, wild and full of lust. He fucked you like a rabid animal, devouring everything you had to offer, filling every last inch of you. The sound was of pornographic moans and bodies clashing with arrogance, filling the entire mansion with sounds that would not be forgotten.

"S-sir!" You moaned loudly, pushing your ass to Five at the same rate, making he hit the deepest spot inside you.

“Fucking such good slut!” He dumped one more slap on your ass, freeing his hand from your hair and joining both of them at your waist, pulling you towards him in an heavy rhythm.

Each thrust was an electric current poured into your body, excitement running down your thighs and melting both of you. Five groaned louder, leaning over and biting your shoulder, clenching his fingers aggressively against the innocent skin on your waist.

“I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this.” Five blew in your ear, receiving a loud groan in return, as yours tears flowed.

Your pussy tightened around his dick, pulsing in such a tight way for he.

"Oh, would you like that?" He teased you, feeling your walls tighten again. “I bet you would love to everbody see the slut you are to me. ”

"Sir!" You screamed, throwing your head forward, pressing your forehead to the sheet as you sobbed.

"Answer!" One more slap.

"Y-yes! I-I like could show that I'm your slut! ” You sobbed.

Five came out of you, making you whimper loudly in frustration. He turned you over on the bed, placing you in the center as he climbed on top of you, settling in between your legs and entering without warning again. You screamed, sinking your face into his neck as your legs closed around his waist, pulling his deep into you.

"Such a good bitch."

Five felt your limit riding fast, leaving you more breathless, tearful and desperate. You no longer measured the volume of your moans, your hands clenching your nails on his back, your waist rolling around to make him inside deeper.

"S-sir!" Then, without being able to control yourself anymore, you exploded. Came in long streams of broken moans and shaky breathing.

Your head fell on the pillow, your chest arching while you were on top of the climax. Five groaned at the scene, his limit being your expression of pure ecstasy. He sank in you as anatomically as possible, filling you with the hot liquid that overflowed from inside you.

You were both panting, sweaty and tired. Five let himself relax on top of you, partially loosening his weight, still stirring a few strokes to ensure that you had welcomed all his cum.

"Good girl." He praised you, giving you a small kiss on the neck, stepping out of you and rolling to your side on the bed.

"That was ... wow." You laughed softly, trying to catch your breath.

Hargreeves laughed too, taking the time to get out of bed, looking for the boxers and pants. You bit the inside of your cheek, suddenly not knowing what to do or what to say. Your heart sank at the thought of him leaving, and your mouth was faster than your common sense in saying:

"Wait!"

Five turned to you, his brows furrowed in question as he buttoned his black pants.

"Can you ... could you ... stay?" You took a chance, your cheeks quivering under Five's intense gaze that never left you.

But, instead of the denial you were expecting, his eyebrows furrowed even more in doubt.

“But I am not leaving.” He said it as if it was obvious.

Did you blink a few times “No?”

“I was just going to get a towel to clean you up. There are certain things that I don’t like do naked.”

You opened your mouth to answer, a little shocked, but Five disappeared in the blue flash only to appear a second later, with a towel in hand. You sank into your own shame, muttering softly to yourself in incoherent sounds, you let Five clean you up.

“Did you think I was leaving?” He scoffed when he finished, looking at you with that smug look.

You rolled your eyes, turning to the side on the bed, your back to him.

"No." You mumbled.

Five laughed, settling better on the bed. "Come here." He said, patting his chest.

And, well, as much as you would like to consider yourself a rebellious girl, you did. Turning to him again, you snuggled into his body, laying your head on his chest while Five pulled the blanket up to cover the two of you.

Five Hargreeves had a bad temper. But at that moment, with you, you did not fail to notice the lazy and caring circles he made on your shoulder with his thumb.

Tagged: @bubblegumflamingos

[crazyxshit]

Nighttime Activities.

my blog is 18+ (minors dni) & remember you’re responsible for your own media consumption. 

likes, comments & reblogs are appreciated!

words: 2.3k

warnings: NSFW! slight breeding kink, penetration, oral sex, slight choking kink, angry sex with Matt! (argument about his daredevil activities)

mcu masterlist | nav

It was twelve am. You knew he had responsibility for his city. He was the infamous Devil of Hell's Kitchen. You knew, appreciated, and were patient about his identity. It took a long time for him to even tell you who he was even though you had your suspicions.

Even now, you could tell that he regretted telling you at times. You hated that he felt like that. That he had to push away everyone in his life for this life. You never let him push you away though. Every time he tried you tracked him down and didn't give up until he told you what was happening.

What you hate the most was waiting. The waiting for him to show up bloody, bruised, and limping. It scared you half to fucking death because you loved him so much. You were the one who would bandage him up and clean his cuts after all. As of lately, he seemed to barely be getting away with the type of people he's been dealing with.

Sitting on his couch, your nervous leg bouncing up and down as you bit down on your lower lip staring absently at your phone you waited. and waited.

It was nearing two am and you don't know when you fell asleep but the sound of a crash startled you. Fuck. Don't let it be anyone else but Matt you secretly prayed.

As you pulled yourself up from the couch, Matt's voice said your name which quickly reassured you. "What are you doing here?" He grunted out, taking off his headpiece while almost collapsing on a chair.

You quickly got out your medical supplies and placed them on the table, quickly getting to work on patching him up. There was blood on the side of his lip, as he clutched his side, giving away the fact he probably had a bruised rib. At least it wasn't that bad. That sucked for you say.

"Waiting for you," a sigh following the sentence as you clean the blood from his lip. "You should've gone home, I could do this myself." He hisses the sentence out defensively, causing you to roll your eyes. "Matt, we discussed this. Stop trying to push me away. It won't work." You tell him, placing a bandage on his ribs. He would need to rest but you knew more often than not, he wouldn't.

"Maybe it should." The three words ceased your actions. You knew he was just saying shit off the top of his head but you couldn't help to be hurt and angry. Why did he have to act so stupid at times? He walked past you, throwing his shirt somewhere standing in a pair of boxers.

"Shut up." You spit back, closing your medical kit, letting his words go into one ear through the other.

He sits on the leather chair in the middle of the room, his absent eyes looking in your direction. "You know I'm right. This is bad for you. You shouldn't have to worry about your boyfriend fighting crime at all hours of the night. Maybe you should go. Go find someone who can actually make you happy. Who can lie beside you and someone who you don't have to fight their war." He says the words with such ease it makes you sick to your stomach.  You knew he knew you loved him.

"God, you're an asshole. You know I love you. I don't want anyone else. I want you Matt Why can't you understand that? Why do you think you're so unlovable? That pushing away people are the solution. You did it to Foggy and Karen and now me." You knew you were calling him out. But you didn't care.

The tension in the chair was firey and tense. The air seemed to bubble up, the electricity between you both palpable. It burned hot, bright, and searing. Like at any point things could explode. In which they did.

Matt stands up and grips your jaw with one of his hands. "You don't know what you're talking about." He whispers, his voice filled with rasp and anger. The sudden action leaves you breathless. Matt's face was so close to yours all you could do was stare into his roaming eyes. Suddenly, you were trying extremely hard to be angry, but your body betrayed every thought. You willed yourself to stop the beating in your core and swallowed the dryness that seemed to fill your mouth.

"I do know what I'm talking about. I love you. And you love me. So stop acting as if people leaving you is going to help your heroic agenda." Softly whispering it. You didn't trust yourself to say anything more, afraid you were going to give up your rapidly beating heart and the wetness between your legs.

He didn't say anything just licked his lips. Fuck he wasn't helping. Then he fucking kisses you. Were you still mad? Yes. Were you going to sidetrack this argument? Yes.

Everything happens in an instant. His hand travels to your hair and then to your neck not squeezing just holding you possessively. His smooth lips attack yours, biting and licking at them. As he tugs on your hair roughly causing you to gaps, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth.

There's a short battle of dominance while you, interlock your hands, gripping his hair to pull him closer to you. It takes everything in you to not melt like putty in his hands.

He doesn't stop kissing you as he directs you both to his bed. Ripping your shirt off, unclasping your bra. His hands traveled all over. Your hands go from roaming over his bare chest to tugging on his hair. He does the same, tugging on your hair causing you to moan for him. Fondling with your breasts so he could hear your angelic whimpers. He wanted it all from you.

You were like his drug. One he couldn't get enough of. He wanted to worship your body, take his time with marking you. Matt knew his thoughts alone would condemn him but he secretly wanted to ruin you for anyone else. He tried to push you away so much, but each time you came back causing him to fall in love with you more and more each time.

He pushes you onto the bed, taking off your pants and panties in one motion. "You smell so sweet." He grunts against your skin-- licking, sucking, doing whatever he could do to leave his mark on your skin.

"Matt, please. I need you." You practically whimper for him. He makes his way higher--not giving you a warning before he delves deep into you. He works you with his tongue as he slips one finger into you slowly. Your hands immediately find his brown hair tugging on it, drawing him impossibly closer to you.

"Fuck. Matty." The words break out from you. You crave every second his warm tongue and finger are inside you. The feeling makes your body hot and your entire lower body seems to pulse with every passing second. You couldn't string together words just desperate moans and pleas for the man below you.

He speeds up, he slows down, he takes his time bringing you to your orgasm. He switches paces, going slow when he hears your heartbeat rapidly beating. He slips one finger inside you, curling it so it fills you to the brim. But goes fast as soon as your heartbeat relaxes. He adds two of his fingers, pounding them into your hold relentlessly as he draws your climax out, fucking you with his tongue and fingers in ways you've never felt. Sex with Matt has always been good but what he was doing felt different. Like he was ruining you for anyone else.

Matt knew you were on the edge of release. The way your pulse quickened to the way your legs wrapped around him, trying to suffocate his head between your legs. How your hips dug more into the bed like you were trying to escape his mouth. Gripping your hips he held you in place as he's let his tongue alone reach places even you were unaware of.

"Oh my god." You barely breathe out, your climax hitting you like a train as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your body goes weak. Matt smirks against you, liking his hips and spreading kisses all over your body a mix of his saliva and you.

He kisses your hips, making sure to suck and bite at the skin so it leaves marks. He trails up from there to between your breasts, gripping one of them with his hand, and sucking the other.

"Your body was made for me," Matt says, taking your breast into his mouth. You couldn't respond, the feeling so euphoric so you replied with a pleasurable moan. He smirks against your skin, switching from one breast to another, making sure to give each part of your body an equal amount of attention.

He eventually moves up from your chest, kissing your cheek "We're just getting started sweetheart." You look at him, fully out of your lustful phase. Sure enough, a mischievous smirk was on his face.

You catch on to what he says as his hard-on pressed into your thigh. "Did eating me out get you off?" A seductive tone took presence in your voice. It was your turn to smirk now. He chuckles, kicking off his boxers before bringing his face close to your ear. "Your pussy gets wet at the sight of me, so yes it does get me off." He states calmly but his deep voice says whispers, arising goosebumps all over your skin. Fuck he had you there.

He moves back to grip your leg, running his hand over your exposed pussy, collecting the wetness from it onto his hand to lather it to prepare his cock. His head drops, his hair covering his face a bit and It was a fucking hot sight to see.

He roughly but softly grips you closer to him by your throat, slamming his lips onto yours. His tongue slides in your mouth--tasting a hint of yourself. This kiss itself felt like magic. The type of kiss that makes you weak at your knees. The type of kiss that makes a knot form in your stomach. It's a kiss that makes you drunk on the feeling of whirlwind burning romance.

He grunts against your mouth, applying a small amount of pressure on the hand around your throat. Disconnecting from the kiss he presses his head against yours, both of you panting slightly. Tightening his bruising grip on your leg, he stables it around him while pushing you onto your back, your foreheads still pressed against one another slipping inside you in one smooth motion.

You moan as Matt grunts, the pleasure of your bodies connecting with each other. He moves slightly making sure to not cause you any discomfort. You guys could fuck non-stop but you could never adjust to the size of him. His dick seemed to find new ways to pierce your body from the inside and out.

"Do you feel us." Matt whispers, almost panting the words. "Yes." The short sentence squeaks out from you. "The way I slip in and out so easily." His sinful words only seem to make you wetter. You moan out a small pleasurable sound.

It wasn't enough. You wanted more. Wanted him closer. "Matt more. Please." You were shamelessly begging. You wanted your high. Craving it. "Use your words, sweetheart."He spat out. He started slowing down, knowingly teasing you until you specified what you wanted.

"Please. Fuck me. Harder. Faster. Anything please." You begged, gasping between each sentence. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling his face to yours, wrapping your legs around his lower body. Desperately doing anything you can to bring him closer.

His body against yours was a feeling you dwelled in. He began a brutalizing pace, filling you in a completely different way. You could feel him everywhere. Your body was on fire and it was like he reached your stomach, fucking you in the best way possible. Bending your body in a bendable way that only he could do. His pace was hard and rough almost like he was punishing you with his cock.

"I'm going to fill you to the brim. I'm going to ruin you for anyone else. Your mine and mine alone." He emphasizes each word, each promise with a hard thrust. "Your close sweetheart. Come all over me. Give me everything you have to offer." He fucks you harder, despite also being close.

Your vision turns white, your body tetters on the edge of bliss as you scream out an "Oh god." finishing all over Matt. He fucks you through your orgasm, not giving you a second to breathe until he's satisfied himself. He does exactly what he wanted to do, finishing inside you and taking a moment to recollect himself.

He eventually peels himself off you and you didn't even realize he went anywhere until he comes back opening your legs to clean between your thighs. You sigh contently from being so sensitive. "Was I too harsh?" The concern in Matt's voice clearly evident.

"No, no." You try to reassure him, not knowing if he even heard you from how low your voice was. A moment later he slips next to you in bed. "I'm sorry, for the record. I love you and I know nothing I can do to make it up to you but I-" You cut him off with a sweet and tender kiss, not letting him finish.

"I know Matty." You used the nickname you called him when you were serious about something. "And I love you more." You whispered, draping an arm around him, resting your head under his. The overwhelming tiredness took over your body and sleep took over before you could register the rest of what he said.

"Impossible. I'd leave this city before that ever becomes true."

[beann-e]

Haikyu characters reacting to their s/o screaming back at them

Nekoma Characters reacting to their s/o Screaming back at them

Read Part One Here

kenma

-it would not take much -_-

- Kenma doesn’t even notice he’s yelling at you or much less using his raised voice when talking to you

-he’s so used to screaming at kuroo through his mic that when he’s finally pissed off and bubbling ; it just happens after you try to ask him what he wants for dinner at the wrong time

-post time skip

“ go left “ The sound of the controller clicking swirled through the room as your boyfriends eyes followed the screen at every turn his character took “ kuroo I said go left “

“ uh which one ? “

kenmas face went into a straight line as kuroos body stiffened knowing he hadn’t been listening in the first place “ no wait which way I meant —which way “

“kuroo I said go left “

“ oh “

“ yeah — go left “ the strain in your boyfriends voice was evident

it showing off the sliver of annoyance he was trying to hold back knowing that you were somewhere in the same house

he hated for you to see him anything other than calm

Anytime he showed any bit of annoyance with you or even showed he was about to give you attitude you quickly shut it down. It was obvious to him who was the dominant one in the relationship and he had no problem with it

Honestly he was scared of what you would think when you finally saw him fly off the handle. Of course you’d seen him have an attitude he was a gamer that was normalized to have one after a lost game but, it wasn’t often he showed you that side because kenma doesn’t do losing

so what would happen if he finally got ticked off so badly due to something that was ‘just a game’ to you would you be scared?

he couldn’t help but think that you would run for the hills and then screw him over in the breakup and tell everyone he still wears tidy whities and forgets to go pee during gameplays unless you remind him by asking had he peed all day

“ hey du— “

“ don’t talk until you kill the leftover guys so we can win“

“ ken you don’t think I can multitask “ kuroos laugh fell into the room over kenmas headphones “ I used to do it everyday i was the captain of the vb team, I keep you in line “

“ sure sure — but are you watching your corners “

“ I keep everyone healthy , and i’m hot , plus I’m about to win this gam— I died “

the silence in the moment spoke volumes before kenma could

his hand grabbing the controller harshly as he refused to blink seeing the word loser flash in bright letters on his screen

Body growing hot and sweaty while he tried to hold in his anger and process what just happened so he could determine the next best course of action

Knowing , He just knew

The amount of trouble he’d get in if you walked in to hear him screaming at kuroo shouting words you hated when he used

He was trying to hold it all in

really he was

he just needed some quiet first just some silence to figure out how to calm himself down his brain going over serveral images of kuroo dead at the bottom of stairs maybe even him getting hit too hard with one of kenmas sets when they played 4 on 4matches

Anger only growing when he heard a voice pour in that he couldn’t figure out who it belonged to much less cared

“ hey ke— “

“ Do you ever fucking listen “ his voice was hard and threatening “ do you ever just shut the fuck up and “

he threw his headphones to his keyboard “ and listen — no you don’t— you go quiet and now here i am upset because you simply don’t listen — answer the questions i’m asking you— you fucking sea creature“

his body only growing hotter as his neck got red eyes darting for a person to scream at and take his anger out on

“ answer me “ he screamed pain eteched in his voice as he finally turned to find you

a look crossing over his face before he blinked looking to the floor then up at you in confusion before turning back to his screen that glowed in the dark room anger hitting him all over again when he saw kuroos wide open mouth and their dead avatars laying on the ground

“ Why the fuck — how the —- I always fucking lose when that asshole —that miscalculated creation— whenever he plays with me it’s so serious to me — i make money off of it i make — i get deals and i — I can’t — can’t lose them they’ll think i’m not good enough— i“

he slammed his fist into the wall speaking low

“ I hate fucking losing “

he turned to you “ it’s not nice y/n — I tried to fucking do your shitty routine of calming myself down first but it just “

he moved closer to you with anger pouring from his body

your eyes wide in a look of fear when he grabbed your face pointing to his screen “ look — “

he screamed in your face when you didn’t tear your eyes away from his “ BABE I SAID LOOK“

your eyes never leaving his as he just grew angrier at your incompetence

“ so your not fucking listening to me either “ his voice grew questioning “ are your ears dirty just like kuroos ? huh ? are y’all apart of some shitty cult for mute wannabes “

his hand gripped tighter on your cheeks “ i’m so stupid your just as fucking dumb as that asshole — fucking — I bet you wanna date him huh — “

his mind ran wild as he thought of the two of you together insecurity blooming

“ you want a loser like him over me right ? you have to like kuroo — look at him you want to date kuroo right “

he laughed “ fucking slu— “

“ finish it and we’ll be playing our own game of kenma getting his ass beat until he finally gives up and cries “

your eyebrows quirked up as you held eye contact with him “ trust me you’ll lose “

you looked at the male in front of you in disgust

“ get your shitty cheeto dusted gamer hands off of me “

his hands loosened their hold on you

“ all the way off you dirty imbecile “

you scoffed as he dropped his hand in a rush of fear

“ I bet your dirty ass didn’t even wash them after I made you pee earlier — yeah made — you wanted to get back to that sweaty chair that badly ? “

his cheeks grew hot as he blinked himself out of his trance only to see what he’d gotten himself into

“ who do you think you are talking to like that “

your stare making him shake even more in fear

You always scared him when you were upset wether you were taller or not your annoyance alone at an action he’d done scared him enough

Your words stood tall and poured in on him making him feel like he was suffocating but, he knew he needed to hear this. You only did this when his anger was out of control like he knew it could be. He stayed on his games all day and all night which was the only way to provide your shared income

at least until he could get his company up and running he had yet to sign contracts because he said he needed to read them first and reading took too much work

this was how he paid your bills. It stressed him out knowing that any day someone on the internet could call him a loser and that same day your steady flow of money may trickle in slower than usual

So when he lost a game any game even something as simple as Mario or even kirby it pissed him off because he couldn’t help but shoulder all the responsibility of taking care of you and himself. He didn’t want to be the reason you lost that stability and all of this catered into his rage. A rage only you could catch and calm down with your sheer words.

“ who do you think you are “ your voice came out low and calm as you spoke down on him “ answer me “

“n-no on — no one babe “

“ don’t babe me “ your hand pressed on his chest “ you don’t deserve that not after you talked to me that way “

“ I -i’m sorry “

“ for what “

“ f-for talking to you like that and “ his voice came out soft as he spoke

“ I cannot hear you “

“ fuck i’m sorry for talking to you that way —and for using force —force and grabbing you like that “

“and i’m just expected to forgive you? you know I hate this — you know this and yet you keep doing it? why ? why do you keep shouldering this and then lashing out “

“ p-please “

“ mm — i’m not seeing it ken— I mean you treat me like one of your other asshole friends and then on top of it you grabbed my face this time— you’ve never gone that far “

“ y-yes I know — I know “

“ so you can see my problem with just accepting your apology right “

“ y-yes ma’am “

“ oh — “ you laughed as you spoke “ now we’re using nice names huh “

“ i—I thought it’d work“ he pouted

“ I wanna forgive you ken “ you looked at him as his head dropped in embarrassment cheeks going red

“ I really do babe but “

“ I swear I won’t do it again y/n “

you thought for a moment staring at the boy in front of you who was pissing his pants in fear

“ y-y/n I swear I didn’t know it was you I was angry and I —I thought kuroo was talkin— “

“ but you realized it was me? “

he paused

“ you even looked from me and back to your screen so you knew correct “

“ yes “

“ and yet you still yelled at me and grabbed my face “

“ really i’m sorry— I wasn’t there all the way “

you took a deep breath before looking to his computer eyes made up in a squint and then trailing back to the boy in front of you

“ ok ken “ his eyes glowed in happiness

“ you— your forgiving me “ he laughed almost mocking you knowing he’d never been let go this quickly you usually took away his gaming system until he’d learned to calm down

he even started ‘doing’ yoga, if you count playing the youtube videos on the tv while he played on his apple watch that you’d forgotten to take, just to fool you into giving his game back “ this easily“

your eyes moved pointedly to his as he fell back into submission

“ i’m sorry I just meant you arent more upset “

“ well i’m deciding that since it was the first time you ever went to that extent of yelling at me I’m gonna let you off the hook “

you smiled “ also I thought you already got enough punishment “

“ h-huh “

you let your head move up to face his computer screen in a slight nod his eyes lighting up before his face fell in sadness

He never meant to fall submissive let alone show who was the dominant one in the relationship to anyone outside of you especially not with kuroo on the other line

“ I don’t think kuroo minds much babe it’s ok “ you said happily changing the whole way you carried yourself earlier and the way you spoke your body easing after beating into kenma

“ no trust me he doe— “

“ goddamn “

your eyes fell onto his friends open mouthed smile

“ and you just let ‘em do you like that “

kenmas eyebrows came together in sadness

“ damn ken —“

your eyes went hard on kuroo

“ and do you think your any better ? because from what i’ve heard churro it seems to me like you couldnt even keep your own team on a leash much less that lev kid so ? “

“ god “ kuroo coughed shifting in his seat whispering softly to himself “ so hot “

he shook his head before speaking again a little bit louder “ uh no— no I completely understand y/n —god i just know your fun “ he laughed

“ kenma keep listening to your s/o don’t mind me “

he moved to log off speaking under his breath “ so fucking scary —swear i’m bringing ‘em in to scare my vb kiddos— shit “

you shook your head in confusion “ uh wha—”

“ he had a — he had a crush on you and yeah I”

“ oh well “ you moved to throw your arms around him in happiness his body stumbling back at the action as he cautiously wrapped his hands around your back

“ n-not in trouble “

“ not in trouble “

“ still love me “

“ still love you “

“ then can I pla- “

“ no “

“ nevermind I didn’t want —want to play anyways “

“ that’s good “

“ yeah “ he drawed out as you grabbed his hand pulling him to the living room “ but babe the monitors still on just one matc— “

your grip tightned on his hand “ movie ken “

“ got it movie — movie “

he spoke low following you wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your cheek “ movie first — game later “

lev

-I don’t think he would ever ever ever scream at you but he would totally say something hurtful and not even realize it because kuroo and kenma said it to him

-so he’s literally just using what he was taught but In the wrong way

- not a time skip

“ lev can you help me “ you shouted to the taller male as you made your way across the court his hands cupping around his mouth as he stared down on you from the other side “ yeah “ he smiled “ totally “

you copied him a smile itching to spread across your face “ just because I yell doesnt mean you yell “

“ well as bossy as you are you should know I’m going to “

your face dropped before it fell back into a happy smile mind racing with thoughts of maybe hes just making a joke he knows you hate when people say that about you

“ hey uh lev ? “

“ yeah babe “ he said running over to you

“ let’s not say that ok cause it kinda — it really hurt my feelings “ his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down on you his voice vibrating along the gym before he smiled again “ babe I like the design you added to your face I didn’t notice but other people said you looked good with it and yeah —honestly they were right “

“ huh — design? “

“ yeah it’s red it’s right by your eyebrow “

your hands moved quickly to cover the pimple from his view eyes darting across the gym hoping no one else heard and was trying to take a look at it

“ it’s fine it’s fine maybe if you put on some makeup you can hide it right ? i mean if you don’t like the design like I do i mean that’s what you usually use it for right ? “

your eyebrows went up face holding nothing but sadness as you spoke “ do you— lev baby do you really think i’m bossy “

he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement as he kept going “ yeah — I do everything you tell me to and I like it i’m like a puppy and your the master “

you could feel your body heat up at his words his smile spreading wider as he turned to his awestruck teammates

“ babe it’s ok id follow you to the end of the earth because I don’t understand your just stringing me along”

your hands dropped the balls you held onto from picking them up off the floor. head cocking to the side as you studied him trying to see what sparked this new way of thinking

“ oh god “

“ he’s so fucking —so so fucking clueles- “

“ stupid just outright stupid is what he is “ you said as his eyebrows creased face struggling to find the right way to react to the burning hot anger he felt radiating off of you in waves “ lev baby who told you this “

you walked a bit closer to him head leaned back to see him clearly “ who made you think this way “

“ uh what “ he shook his head face coming up in a pout “ babe I — “ he played with his fingers as he looked off to the side hand moving to run across his neck “ for some reason I feel like i’m in trouble —I did—did I do something wrong baby ?“

“ this is not cool lev not helpful, not sweet and nice it’s hurtful “

“ no what ? wait i’m “ he took his hand out to grab your arm his face made up in pure confusion “ no i’m —i’m complimenting you “

“ you— your complimenting me? “

“ yeah “ he smiled struggling to hold it up as his eyes darted across your face

“ lev baby “ you faked a smile as your eyes hardened “ think about your words —what have you just said “

“ well I said that your my master and i’m like a puppy“ he smiled as he thought back “ only because I love you and would do anything you tell me and because i’m hyper and sometimes you have to explain stuff to me in simple form because I can’t pay attention when anyone else talks but you “

he kept going “ then I said that I do anything you tell me to and I would “ he smiled harder voice sure of himself“ because I like following you and making you happy “

he scratched his neck face flashing a deep red “ then — then I said that you cover up your bossine— ok i’m sorry “

his face made up into a pout as he slumped “ really I didn’t know I thought it was nice I heard the team saying it in the back rooms and I though— “

“ FUCKING IDIOT “

“ LEV WHAT THE FUCK “

“ HOLY SHIT LEGS ARE YOU SERIOUS “

levs face dropped as he turned to kenma “ legs seriously ? “

kenma shrugging as he continued to play his hand held game “ eh well everyone else was saying something and you annoy me so — I present legs “

he sighed as he turned back only to see your eyes holding nothing but garbage fires In them as you stared at the group of guys huddled together

“ speak “ everyone whimpered as you stared them down “ explain to me why my boyfriend is telling me I need makeup to cover my pimple ”

kuroos uncomfortable laugh left him quickly as he looked away from the both of you rocking back and forth in his shows “ well um y/n “ he coughed “ you see we were — we’re guys y/n we were making jokes and you see lev doesn’t understand “

“ well I do so explain “

he jumped “ we thought— “

“ not quick enough you sweaty catboy“

“ god ok he came to us wanting to know how to compliment you he said he didn’t want to say anything dumb and —so that made us realize we can really make him do anything cause he’s so clueless—thought if we could get lev to say some dumb shit—trust me we didn’t go that far “ he said pointing to lev who was picking up the balls you’d dropped on the floor chasing after one that rolled away

“ then you’d break up with him and I guess at least one of us would have a chance — well except kenma he says he has princess peach as his wife —wait who the fu—I actually don’t know who that is ken is that an online girlfriend “

he furrowed his brows actually puzzled by his earlier words “ I don’t know why it seemed so normal to me at the time “

he shook his head “ but lev is so fucking stupid that he said everything fucking wrong — we literally just told him what we personally like about you —gave him some corny pickup lines but he said everything wrong like even the phrase about your makeup we were saying how you don’t wear any or when you do it’s not obvious because your natural beauty just radiates through it— then the next thing we talked about is how strong and just how you take directive I guess — and we — we thought it was hot “

“ then where did he get the stuff he said from “ your voice went high now you were confused he couldn’t have made that stuff up

“ y/n he’s just fucking stupid where do you think “ he rolled his eyes “ he made it up because he didn’t understand “

levs eyes widened as he had stopped paying attention to the situation taking place hours ago “ uh I cannot confirm or deny that statement but I will say you are very very beautiful my love “

your heart warmed as the team groaned your body moving into his as you kissed him softly “ did I do something wrong ? “

“ no lev your ok “

“ ok I never want you to feel bad or like y’know how kenma feels I always feel like he’s so angry “ your boyfriend shivered as he locked eyes with kenma who was ready to pounce on him claws showed as he gripped his game harshly “ see —- so angry “

“ not angry lev just “ you looked at him seriously “ babe you have to pay attention to what you say you may say something really really wrong to me one day and then — “

“ and then you’ll tell me what I did wrong while we cuddle and drink hot chocolate“

you smiled squeezing him harder “ no — then i’ll break your kneecaps so you’ll never be able to play volley again and i’ll dye your hair black in your sleep so people will think you look like a tall dirty mop “

he shook before he led you out of the door the team watching as you left leaving all of them to curse silently about their failed plan “ he’s the stupidest guy on the team and he — he got that “

“ bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing when he’s tapping it “

kuroo laughed “ yeah right like he even gets that far — they probably gotta explain how to continue a kiss without him focusing and staring straight into their eyes — he’s probably learning how to ‘multitask’ right now as we speak—lucky idiot “

the doors to the gym slammed open roughly a few minutes later as you held levs hand tightly behind the door “ HEY ASSHOLES “

everyone tuned to you in fear for themselves and the tall male behind you who you dragged like a mom in a store his eyes stuck on the lollipop that stuck out from his mouth “ guys y/n found me a lollipop—she stuffed it in my mouth when I told her the joke you guys told me to “

“ w-what joke “

“ the one where I called the sex line and said that I requested them because I heard good reviews “

the teams heads all dropped knowing they’d never said anything of the sort or even along the line he’d messed up their original words yet again and put not only himself but them in danger

“ if you guys ever try to taint my boyfriend with your dumb fucking words again I swear I will end you all —kenma i’ll buy every copy of the new game that you want that’s coming out — literally blow all my money so you can’t ever play the stupid game until im ready to allow you to “ his mouth going up in an o as he still had his attention on his game hands only tightening a bit at the threat his body moving behind kuroo for safety

“ kuroos chemistry lab will become a garbage chute for my lunch trays “ kuroos body slumping as he draped himself over kenma only to get pushed off and fall on the floor in pain your mouth moving to tell everyone else on the team what would happen if they didn’t respect your boyfriend and treat him like the nice , caring guy he was

Until finally you flashed a smile and walked off leaving the team in disarray as they couldn’t figure out if you just grew that much hotter or if they were having heat flash from the pissed off emotions they felt when lev turned around and winked at them while he ran his hand down your shoulder to land at your lower back as he followed you out