#his little face he's so offended lmao

[reachexceedinggrasp]

You're my type of man! Of course, you could stand to have a little more meat on you.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 757: A small tremor

Pag 1

2: Raging waves!!

3: Swirling ocean currents!!

Pag 2

1: Danchiku!!

2: We're now in the land of the decisive battle, Kyushu!! In Shimonoseki!!

Calm down, Issa, this is Moji. Shimonoseki is on the opposite shore, it's in Yamaguchi Prefecture

3: 1000 years ago, the final battle between Genji and Heike happened here

Pag 3

2: You know that because we did it recently in Japanese History? So you were awake....

3: The master fencer Miyamoto Musashi and Sasaki Kotaro had their duel in the close Ganryu Island!!

Ah... almost, but not really. It's Sasaki Kojiro; Kotaro is a friend of yours

5: Here!!

6: Here it's the starting point of the Inter High!!

8: Us!!

Pag 4

1: Let's become the best in Japan

Danchiku!!

Pag 5

2: Uh......!!

I came here just to chaperone you.... and I was wondering what you were you even talking about until now....

3: But this guy's simple words and feelings-

(Let's go see the sea, Danchiku! It's the sea!

Let's go renew our determination!!)

4: -can always shake my heart!!

Yeah, Issa!!

Pag 6

1: The towel is cast!!*

2: It's “the die is cast”!!*

Die is dice and it means “it's already started so you have to move forward”!! To “throw the towel” means to “give up”!!

(*NdT.: here Issa uses two very similar words: he says “saji” while it's actually “sai”)

3: Ahhh, dammit, I'm really so fired up!!

4: Let's go show this excitement to him!!

Him!?

To Doubashi!! Hahaha

Hm... wait, you want to go to Hakogaku's tent!? You want to march inside? Stop, Issa!!

Pag 7

3: We're here

4: Why are you here- during Doubashi-san's massage

See, look, Issa

Sohoku second years!? Don't come into the enemy's tent without even a greeting!

Doesn't matter

5: Let them through

Pag 8

1: It's been a while. I'm so worked up now, Doubashi!!

“san”, na!!

2: He's huge.....!! Hakogaku's third year, Doubashi Masakiyo!!

He sitting down, and yet he looks like Issa that's standing up!!

3: Is it your ring name!? Sanna Doubashi!?

I told you to use the honorific “san, idiot!! Buah!!

4: Was he this huge last year!? ….. no

He got even bigger during this past year!!

5: There are so many injuries in his knees

6: And even on his elbows there are traces of fights...!!

Pag 9

1: I came to tell you how much stronger I got in this past year

Oi, stop, if you say something like this now, you'll definitely regret it later

Nah, I'll say it

3: There's another person

4: Ah....

5: Is he also..... a regular?

6: Ah, Yes, I'm Sohoku's... second year...

Hahaha I'll introduce you!!

7: Is he your partner, Orange?

Hahaha, that's right!!

8: Our team's name is SS!! His name is Danchiku!!

I'm telling you this for your own good

9: Stop

Pag 10

1: This guy's a “chicken*”

(*NdT.: here the literal translation of the kanji used is "weak-hearted", while the reading says "chicken")

Pag 11

2: He'll run away right away

3: Buah!!

4: Road racing half a mental sport!! The distance is long and there'll be a lot of difficult moments. I don't know what kind of runner this guy is, but he's mentally weak and he'll be crushed by the pressure, especially at the Inter High!!

5: He got my weak point with one shot....!!

6: Nah, Orange!! Let's have a serious race, the two of us

Ah!?

And bring a better guy than this!! Ah!?

7: This one's no good, he can't run!!

That's what the sensor in my polished body are telling me

8: Doesn't Sohoku have a reserve!? You should.....

Pag 12

1: Replace him right now

4: Yuuto lost to a guy like this?

Ah!?

Well, I guess you had quite an advantage since it was a rcae in your hometown

Danchiku won!!

5: Would it be better if I was replaced...? No

He's not a bad guy, but.... sometimes he says bad stuff. Last year, too-

6: No, that's not true!!

What am I saying!! I'll run!! I'll be the one running!!

Pag 13

1: In the Inter High!! Together with Issa!!

2: Ehi, welcome back. Did you have fun on your walk?

… yeah

I've done the oiling and the gear check

Did you see the sea?

It was fired up!!

3: Fired up?

The sea was fired up!!

4: “My heart is small”

“Yours is much bigger”

5: Sugimoto-san.....

Once you get dressed could you try ride it?

Pag 14

1: Uhm, Sugimoto-san

3: Hm?

4: Hy.... hypothetically

5: If right now

6: I said I couldn't run, what would you do?

Pag 15

4: Since the day I was chosen as a reserve

5: I haven't taken even one day off practice

7: The members may seem to be in perfect condition, but they could accidentally fall and get injured, or get ill

Be ready to run the moment you know someone can't run, that's what a reserve is

I

8: I spent my time wishing that all my efforts would be in vain

Pag 16

1: I would run for all three days!!

Now I'll put this toolbox down, put on the my cleats and prepare my own bike!!

Can be done in fifteen minutes!!

Pag 17

2: Be prepared!!

4: I-I'm sorry!!

I'm sorry for saying stupid things

5: In road racing a reserve can only be subbed in until the start of the first day

The rules say that you can't change during the race

6: Is that so!?

You didn't know that!?

7: Once the race starts, if someone can't run, he can't be substituted

He retires and the number of people in the tea decreases... that's road racing

8: If your condition isn't good, tell us now

It's more advantageous is all six people run

9: It's alright, if you made that decision

Pag 18

1: No one will blame you

Pag 19

1: This trial run on the course is terrific, Danchiku

The sea is in full view!!

2: That tanker is huugee!!

“No one will blame you”

3: Don't hang your head, don't look down

What a I thinking!!

Raise your head!!

4: Issa is here

5: The Inter High I've longed for

6: “Stop”

“Chicken”

7: The die is cast!!

[sipsteainanxiety]

ok but imagine telling bkg he's ugly to his face LMFAOOOO

[rene-darling]

WHEN- you store things inside your boobies

...very obviously fem reader lmao, you store things in the middle of your chest...

...lyney...xiao...itto...wanderer...

Lyney

You're showing lyney a card trick that learned.

But no matter how much he tries to figure out where you hid the card he just can't get it.

He never usually does this but he's just too curious!!

So he's been asking- no, begging for you to tell him how you did it and where you hid the card!

After much pleading and you repeating "a magician never reveals her secrets" you finally spill.

You tell him to watch carefully and he nods.

His eyes widen and his mouth drops open as he burns red.

You reach down your shirt and pull out a card from in between your boobes

"I- you uh..ah.." he's stuttering, not sure what would be an appropriate response to this.

You just laugh "see, this is why I said you can't do this trick, your tits are too small darlin"

"h-hey- making you blush is my job! Not the other way around!"

he's used to making snarky remarks or dirty jokes he can't believe he fell for this!

Xiao

Xiao recently gifted you some adeptus beads

They were meant to ward away evil spirits and demons and keep you safe when he's not around

However, he's noticed that he can't seem to find you wearing them around your neck, so he decided to ask you about it

"y/n where are you keeping the beads I gave you? I didn't give them to you just for you to leave them somewhere to collect dust."

He huffed offended you wouldn't keep the charm on you.

You already insisted on not calling his name when in trouble so you should at least keep the beads on you!

You just looked at him amused telling him you had them on you but he insisted you showed them to him, so you did.

Pulling down the neckline of your shirt you reached your hand in to grab said beaded necklace.

His mouth dropped once you showed it to him and his face bloomed "i- y-you..you have no respect for the adepti!" he vanished after yelling that likely to hide his blushing face, and his boner

Itto

Recently you've hid one of ittos little purple bugs right before his little match with some kid

He's frantically searching for said bug, insisting that he has to take that one or he won't win! Not that he will either way

"y/nnnnn! Are you sure you haven't seen my little bugger! I really need it!" he's whining like a little baby!

Feeling bad for him you finally relent telling him you might have an idea of where his beetle could be

"REALLYYYY!!! You're the best babe-" you tell him to watch carefully as you pull your shirt down and from in-between your valleys crawled out the purple beetle you had hidden

His mouth dropped his eyes looked like they would pop out of their sockets (imagine gojo when he looked at megumi)

"not fair y/n! Why does the beetle get to stay there and not me!" he's thinking about it being unfair,

Then the next second he wants to see if the beetle would fit in between his tits,

Of course, they do. I mean have you seen his tits? He's very proud of that fact

Wanderer

Nahida recently sent the both of you on an expedition together

He acts like he's not happy but deep down he's happy to be traveling alone with his beloved

Recently you both stopped at a shop to buy something but he had forgotten his mora back at camp.

He looked towards you waiting for you to pay, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at you when you looked at him amused and asked "you sure"

"just pay." well, he insisted, so why would you deny?

As soon as you reached down your shirt his mind short-circuited

You pulled out a mora pouch and handed some mora to the shop keeper like it was nothing and then again stuffed the pouch down your tits.

Grabbing the things you started walking away as wanderer stood there just blushing violently

Looking back you yelled "are you coming or not darling?" he snapped out of it following after you

"did you really have to do that in fucking public?" he huffed in embarrassment, walking back home with a boner is annoying

[solardrop]

beanstalk.

aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader

summary: a loser at the local pub thinks spencer is your boyfriend. Aaron drags him. tags: fluff. creepy men being creepy. body shaming (of spencer I'm so sorry). spencer just catching strays in general. word count: ~1.7k a/n: based on an ask. I was gonna just write my thoughts or a short 500 word drabble or something but then ended up writing this until the point I forced myself to just end it lmao. I think it gets a bit convoluted and cringe at the end but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it was fun! not proofread. divider cred @/cafekitsune

The pub was going to the rue the day they made half-off appetizers their weekly special.

The team squeezed in two pushed-together tables and binged on the greasy delights. you and Spencer had gotten into sharp back and forth about the apocalypse on the way there, which earned the both of you a quick banishing to a corner of the table where the rest of the team wouldn’t be subject to your bickering.

You rest your head against the cool concrete pillar you were sandwiched against. A table pressed against a half-wall facing outdoors was a hard sell to a bunch of field agents. However, Penelope’s animated declaration for the team to ‘live a little’ —specifically, to do so before Rossi got any greyer— landed you a wonderful view of the outdoors. You could watch all the homey, drunken people sway to the music flowing from the patio. The crisp night air flushes the overwhelming smell of burnt grease away from your nose. Maybe you could convince Hotch to grab a window seat for some date nights, you have to admit, the vibes were growing on you. While you enjoy poking the brain of your younger genius friend, you miss the solid warmth of Aaron beside you. Thankfully, he opted to sit in front of you instead. 

You took the opportunity to tease him. You kick him playfully under the table, stealing his attention away from the conversation he is having with Derek. He turns to squint at you for a moment, only to grab your food to sandwich it between the wall and his thigh in retaliation. His fingers drum a steady rhythm against your ankle, the ticklish tap tap tap making you squirm. You motion to ensnare his ankle with your other leg when Spencer turns to point his flimsy white plastic fork at you. 

“If emergency services were still in full effect during the zombie apocalypse, there would be a drastic increase in the number of people infected and a significant loss in—”

“A significant loss in medical supplies. Spoken like a true prepper Reid. What's next, gonna tell me about the importance of learning how to pickle your own food for rationing?”

“Actually, during the Great Depression housewives pickles things that lasted their families almost—”

His impending rant is cut short by the return of your server. Anticipating the bill, Rossi reached for his wallet before the woman shakes her head at him. Instead, sliding a drink and a folded up napkin on the table and nodding her head at you. 

“For the lovely young miss by the window.” She flashes a smile at you, “One of our lovely patons seems to fancy you.”

All eyes snap to you, all the color draining from your face as you stare down at the offending item. The drink was almost glowing at you, bright pink glitter swirling in the liquid with pink gummy hearts floating at the top and crystal sugar bedazzling the rim. There was no way this was actually something for the human body to consume. Even Penelope’s brows raised in shock at its extreme display. 

You glance at Hotch, his leg picking up a steady bounce next to yours after the waitresses revelation. His face is hardened, jaw rocking back and forth as he glares at the folded paper next to the drink. You clear your throat and face the woman again.

“Can you tell me who sent this?”

She juts her sharp chin over your head towards one of the outdoor tables. Hotch’s neck cranes around before your own, and you lock eyes with an older man sitting a few tables down. His face was unpleasantly square, the outdated sandy mullet crowning his head doing him no favors either. He raises his beer bottle towards you with a wink. You shiver, scooting closer to Spencer when the admirer hauls himself out of his stool to stride towards you. Aaron has turned almost fully towards outside now, his brow raised.

“Ohh this is gonna be good,” JJ whispers from the other side of Reid. The comment earns her a sharp glare from Hotch, a blush burning in her cheeks as she goes back to nursing her cheeto-crusted mozzarella sticks.

“I just don’t understand,” Spencer starts, “There are seven other people at this table including men at this table why would he be bold enough to-”

A sharp knock sounder off the ledge of the short wall. 

“Well, hello darlin’. I don’t mean to interrupt the dinner with your friends here, Hello friends, m’  names Miles!” He flashed his eyes around the table with a toothy, mustached smile. 

“But i couldn’t help but see your pretty little face in this window ‘ere and I had to buy ya’ a drink!” 

“Ah… Thank you but um-”

“Don’t even sweat it beautiful!” Small specs of saliva fly from his mouth, causing even Spencer to jump back pulling on the hem of your shirt. As if to use you as a human shield from the germs the man was spewing in his general direction. Hooray. Your hero. 

“I even wrote my number on that there lil’ napkin for ya’. My momma raised a gentleman, so I gotta buy you more than a lil liquor before I take you down.” His beady eyes shoot down to your cleavage before snapping back to your face, licking his lip. 

The fingers on your ankles pause at this. Aaron stares down the side of the mans face, lips pressd into a fine line spread across his face. You decide to jump in before your boyfriend takes it upon himself to tear the mystery man a new one.

“Listen, I appreciate the sentiment but, I’m here to have dinner with my friends and my boyfriend so… I could pay you back for the drink? No harm done-”

“Boyfriend!?” He steps back, eyes scanning the table once more before landing on Spencer and snorting. 

“This lil’ stringbean? You can’t possibly be serious” He smiles at Spencer before he continues “Jack and the beanstalk here could barely muscle steel so ya’ll stuck him with plastic,” He waves a crooked finger aimlessly around the table, “And you expect me to believe he’s wrangling a fine figure like yourself down every night?”

That seems to hit a sore spot for Reid, who finally peeps his head from around you. He takes the moment to ramble about the millions of germs and pathogens that could be found on community utensils even after a full wash cycle. Much to the dismay of the creep and team alike, so much so that Derek had to nudge him with his foot. With the conclusion of Spencer’s monologue the man continues

“Anyways, darlin’ for one night let me take you for a spin. Lil' boy like that won't do ya' any good. I promise you only a bigger, older man knows how to really take care of someone crafted as fine as you.” His eyes lower to your chest again and stay there. 

“I assure you she already knows that,” Aaron spits. 

Your eyes snap to his face. He seemd deceptively calm now, his expression almost bored. 

“Pardon?” Miles asks, half-heartedly turning his body towards him. 

“I’ll put it like this for you Miles. Stringbean over here isn’t her boyfriend,” Spencer begins to squeak out in opposition to his new pet name, but Hotch’s voice bellows out above his own, “I know you’re pathetic, that was apparent from the moment you walked up here puffing your chest after buying the cheapest drink on the menu as a gift. But I’m almost surprised you made your impotence so obvious too, considering you made eye contact with everyone you view as non threatening, the women, the man in his late years, the kid.”

Aaron lazily cocks his head towards Morgan, “But not me and my friend here in the corner. But I’m sure you thought you got away with that. Now, I’d suggest you move. The cologne you sprayed to mask the smell of Motel 8 is starting to wear off.”

Your ears warm at his words. Every sharp word honeyed by his calm, almost sweet tone. He spoke as if he was reading the well thought out profile of an elusive crimminal instead of just some ass in a sit down. God you wanted to kiss him. He’d have to let team politics go just this once right? Just a thank you peck. 

Before you can move to move ask him for one, Miles sputters out, “Talkin’ to me like I’m some dumbass— Who the hell d’ya think you are man!?”

Each syllable causes a spray of spit to launch out his mouth, forcing you to scoot even closer to spencer to evade the line of fire. His face shines with sweat and grease, red rising from his shirt collar as he barks at Hotch’s words. 

“I’m her man. Her bigger, older man. But I’m sure you already knew that, since you still refuse to look at me.” Aaron reaches down into his pockets, flipping out his credentials with deft fingers, “And I’m also an agent. As is everyone at the table including the woman you’ve spent the past several minutes sexually harassing.” He scowls, “Now, go sit down and shut the hell up.”

Miles' eyes finally rip away from you to meet his now. The angered flush erupts across his whole body now. He opens his mouth several times before closing it again, iced out by the cold stare Hotch gives him. He turns on his heel and marches back to his table without a fight. He sniffs his collar before jumping back in clear disgust.

A beat passes and the whole table erupts into laughter at the absurd happenings. Aaron’s face softens, still frowning in the general direction of the slimy man. Jolting when Derek claps him on the back and shakes him in praise. 

“Alright Hotch! Racing to defend your girl, I didn’t know you had it like that!”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” You stretch across the table to grasp his hand, kissing his knuckles before he could protest. He envelopes your hand in both of his and gives you a warm smile,  “my man is my hero in and out of the field.” He breathes out a laugh, knocking his knee against yours for your teasing. 

“Next time, you and String Bean get into it, we’re doing a different seating arrangement.”

[kmuradesu]

.‘ENTITLED’.

husband!gojo x pregnantwife!reader (afab)

» summary: leaving the busy streets of Sendai city back to its outskirts, the two of you got a bus. there aren’t any seats available, and being pregnant meant being able to sit in the priority seats. looks like they’re taken.

» CW: pregnancy, exhaustion, mentions of jizz, bus ride, stubborn civilian, teeny-weeny angst if you squint, protective satoru, threats, all happy, no swears, not proofread!

» a/n: this has been sat incomplete in my drafts for a month, only until now I’ve motivated myself to finish it (lmao). I don’t know what it is, but I love pregnancy fics with jjk.

———————————————————————

After a slow-paced stroll through the bustling streets of Sendai City and a bunch of offers from Gojo telling you he’ll buy whatever you want, the lingering sense of exhaustion finally caught up with you.

You had managed to make it an hour and a half.

The beads of salty sweat were becoming more prominent over your glossed skin, your breath being lost easily but being hard to get back. The overly frequent back aches weren’t helping either, it was like this baby was already overweight inside of you.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as your soft, now clammy, hand weaved with Gojo’s, the wedding bands glinting a perfect chrome against the sun’s humid rays. You didn’t want to become a burden, neither a random woman in the city known for sweating abnormal amounts of sweat. “I think the baby’s had enough, huh sweets?”

Your loose gaze lifted upwards to meet his, immediately feeling the cool radiating from his cerulean eyes. Strangely, through the navy lenses in his shades.

“..yeah, me too.” You breathed.

“Okayyy, let’s get the bus back - save you walking around with that watermelon inside you.” Purposefully, Satoru presented you and your bump a judgy look.

“..thanks.”

Rolling your peepers with sarcasm, you gently swung your hand with his back and forth.

“Hey, that’s what it looks like to me!”

“Well it’s your sperm, blame your own genes on the fact it’s fat!”

“WHAT?! FAT?! I’M NOT FAT. I’M A TALL SKINNY KING! AND SO WILL BE MY BABIES!” The man was very much offended, that open-mouth and crossed brow face he pulled was all you needed to know.

“..oh REALLY? WELLI KNOW FOR A FACT ITS NOT MY GENES CAUSING IT!”

And all the way to the bus station you continued on with your quarrel on who’s genes caused your bump to be so big already.

Both you were just kids in adult bodies.

——

After earning an unusual load of overcritical glances from passers-by, you finally reached the bus station where many people stood.

Looking around with concern, your brows gently furrowed, a little confusion clouding your mind. It was good that Satoru could read you like a book.. sometimes.

“It’s okay, they’ll let us go past.”

The white-haired man muttered into your ear, placing his hands on your clothed shoulders.

“What if they don’t?”

“Oh they will.”

The way he said those words made you feel something, like it was your hormones playing tricks on you.

And so soon enough after waiting for a couple minutes, you had a glimpse of the scheduled bus turning around the corner.

“C’mon then.”

Placing a hand on the flat of your bump you both moved forwards, attempting to shift to the front.

“Satoru, I—”

“Just go baby, they’ll move for a pregnant queen like you.” He reassured, eyeing the men who weren’t moving out the way at first. Like they should, the women knew to make way, all flashing you sweetened smiles as you passed them.

Eventually you had gotten to the front with a man standing in the lead. “See?” Gojo smirked, watching you tilt your head back to see his beautiful face.

“M’kay..”

——

The doors of the vehicle swung open with a but too much vigour it almost took out the poor man standing next to them.

After Gojo, being the most pampering partner ever, paid for the tickets, he ushered you forwards only to discern no available seats. Gojo would be more than happy to stand, but it was you he worried about since you were already breathless and weak to stand.

The priority was stocked up with disabled and the impaired too apart from one space.

However that man who clearly perceived you were carrying a baby, sat in the seat in front of your face - glancing at you as he did so.

How selfish. Is he not embarrassed?

“There’s no seats left Gojo, I can’t stand anymore.”

Subtly you whined, being a little irritated that you couldn’t sit down and would have to uncomfortably stand as his baby rearranged your organs.

“..hm. Let’s see.”

“Wait—”

He shuffled to the man.

“Heello. Excuse me, but my miss is pregnant. Would you mind sparing the seat?” Gojo politely asked, hanging on to the pole situated in the middle of the aisle.

“What? Err no, sorry.”

That man was not sorry at all. It made you cringe.

Gojo’s expression paused, pressing his pastel lips together in irritation. Why wouldn’t this man listen?

“May I ask why are you being so difficult?”

After hearing those words, you knew this was going to veer off sideways. Almost everyone’s eyes were glued to the scene unfolding, all looking up from the windows and screen to see two men ‘bickering’ it out.

“Difficult? What do you mean, I was here first.” It seemed like the man had issues already, as he started to flail his hands around.

“My wife is pregnant, if you didn’t hear the first time. You’re sat in a priority seat, which where she should be sitting. Are you disabled?”

He was getting defensive. It was crystal clear that the man was not disabled, nor pregnant at that matter.

“..um no? But that doesn’t mean anything. I’m not giving up my seat for some cripple.”

A cripple?!

That’s it, Satoru had had enough and was desperate to split this man in half. Not a single person could insult you because he would already be on them like a hawk.

Anyways, the fact that the nasty being had called you a cripple, couldn’t help but make you feel a little too much like a burden, and your gaze saddened.

“You’ve gone too far. No-one. Absolutely no-one, is to offend my wife like that. So, jackass, vanish any place other so she can sit.”

“Or else?—”

“There is no ‘or else’ fool. You’ve already screwed the wrong person, so I suggest you move. Don’t do something stupid.”

The man, looking quite intimated, eventually got up and sulked off past the two of you.

“Thanks.” Satoru fake smiled, stalking him ‘till he had gone else where, far away from you.

All this drama had made you forgot about the achy pain surfacing your body, which immediately flowed back as realisation hit you.

“..oof-” It had subconsciously left your lips, and it made Satoru’s brows cross.

“Here you go my love. Is it hurting?”

He concernedly asked, holding your velvet hands as you lowered your rear on the much-needed seat.

“I’ll be fine, just what I needed.” You smiled back at him, tucking a stray hair behind you ear as you breathed out.

“I’m glad. Some morons just think they are ‘entitled’.”

—————— thank you for reading! this is my original idea and have worked hard on this. so please no translating, copying, posting my work on a different platform, or modifying my work. all rights reserved - kmuradesu

[submattenthusiast]

mommy

summary - in which matt calls you mommy for the first time

contents; mommy kink, mentions of boners, suggestive, no actual smut, idk what else.

matt didn’t ever think he would call anyone mommy, he doesn’t even call his own mother mommy. when he figured out you liked being called mommy he thought about giving it a shot.

chris had somehow convinced him to take the bdsm test, which landed him in this position, sat in his black gaming chair in front of his monitor, black screen illuminating his face. he was shocked by the vulgar questions the test contained.

you were scrolling on your phone on the bed behind him, not paying him any mind. he had mentioned some test chris told him to take when he walked into the room, you nodded with a hum before returning to your phone.

“some of these kinks are just outrageous’’ he stated, mouth agape. you chuckled at his shock. “do i like to wear a collar” “um no, next” he was going through these questions with a look of disgust on his face. you giggled every time he said a kink out loud, some of them actually being outrageous.

“you’re so vanilla, you’ve said no to almost every question” you snorted. he spun around in his chair eyes almost bulging out of his head, mouth once again open. “vanilla? how am i vanilla” he questioned, offended by your accusation. “those kinks weren’t even bad, and you were acting like a virgin” you explained. 

“and you’re not?” he said with a raised eyebrow. “i mean i’m not hardcore but not vanilla either lmao” you shrugged nonchalantly. “maybe you should be the one taking this quiz then’’.

he was mindlessly, reading out more questions. none of them caught your attention until you heard the word mommy come out of his mouth. you paused the tiktok you were watching, switching your attention to matt, watching his reaction closely. 

“do i have a mommy kink” he chuckled to himself, a dumb joke on the tip of his tongue. he clicked the unsure button then pressed next, the next question being about calling someone else mommy. “would i call someone else mommy” you froze in your spot as he read aloud, you bit your lip, nervous about his response. 

a wet patch began to form on your underwear, this turned you on more than you’d care to admit. you thanked god that he was facing the computer, your thighs squeezed together and you began to squirm. your mind was filled with the filthiest thoughts known to man. 

you were broken out of the trance you were in as he spoke “mommy?”. you didn’t respond, thinking he wasn’t referring to you. he repeated himself “mommy?”. “yes?” you responded, trying to play off how turned on you were.

matt was dumbfounded by your response, not expecting you to be so calm about the whole situation. he turned around in his chair slowly, brows furrowed in confusion. “are you into that or something, why are you so chill about it�� he asked. “yeah i guess?” you spoke nervously, he had judged so many of the other kinks, you were worried about what he would think of you now.

he was speechless, learning that his girlfriend had a mommy kink, but more importantly, the fact that he liked it, a little too much. his cock twitched in his pants when he called you that, and he was semi-hard now. he wanted to experiment with this, desperate to know more. “you guess?”, his face was full of confusion “yeah i mean i’ve been called it before but it coming from your mouth made it clear” you admitted, staring at him intensely, waiting for a reaction.

matt got up from his chair and sat next to you on the bed. “i liked it too not gonna lie, i want to try it again” he confessed, hands resting on your thighs now. you moved to rest on his lap, thighs on both sides of his body. he looked up at you for a response, eager to hear what you were gonna say next. “yeah? then you’re gonna have to answer yes on that quiz baby” you joked. 

he rolled his eyes before responding “i’ll handle that later, but now i need your help with something else mommy” he said, grabbing your hand and placing it on the bulge in his pants.

a/n - not proofread, got the idea randomly hope you enjoyed

taglist; @mattybsgroupie @frnkocnlvr @fratboychrisera @issyh3ll @zariyam @bellassturniolo @thepubeburgler

[onetoomanyfandomfixations]

Helluva Boss Characters Reacting to You Asking for a Hug

Tbh this series is just for my own enjoyment at this point lmao

I’m so normal about them, I swear.

BLITZØ

Honestly, it depends on what type of relationship you have with him

Familial relationship? Best BELIEVE he’s coddling the shit outta you rn

^ def a cheek pincher

“Hey sweetie? Do you need me ta fuck someone up for ya?”

But if y’all are platonic, or SATAN FORBID

R O M A N T I C ?

Ur not getting Shit

Well, until you start crying

“You’re a fuckin’ baby, you know that?”

Very casual hugs

Always sits his chin on you

Will complain the entire time

But you both know he loves you

LOONA

“Oh shit, you good?”

She’s blunt, not heartless

Honestly pretty touched that you asked for a hug instead of just going for one

Like her adoptive dad, very casual hugs

Usually just slings an arm over your shoulders

Won’t talk to you about it

Y’all just sit in comforting silence

Don’t let anyone point out that she’s letting you touch her

Will get v flustered

Depending on how you both feel - may let you play with her hair to self regulate

MILLIE

“Sure thing, hun!”

Doesn’t matter who you are, or why you need a hug, she’ll take it

Physical affection is her top love language idc

Squeezes super super tight

Like, you can barely breathe

Gushes over how sweet you are

Will probs pepper your face in kisses too (doesn’t matter what ur relationship with her is)

((Millie is a strong believer in non-romantic kisses, she told me herself))

Will probs ask Moxxie to bring y’all a drink

MOXXIE

“Uhh, you sure you want a hug from me?”

Yes babe I’m sure

Doesn’t think he’s the best one to be comforting you - will palm you off to Millie if he can

But will be offended if anyone else says he can’t look after you

^^ Gets all huffy about it

Distraction is his new best friend

Will tell you a mixture of stories and fun facts to try and make you feel better

Will also make you a hot drink

If you want to, will talk out your feelings with you

STOLAS

Babes just blinks for a hot minute as your words register with him

Has the softest smile

“Of course, dearest. Come here.”

A hug isn’t enough for him, you’re in for a full blown cuddle sesh now

Likes the feeling of having you fully wrapped up in his arms

Forehead kisses. Forehead Kisses.

Will sometimes swaddle you in blankets like a literal baby

Hums softly for you

Tries to ask what’s wrong, will def push the subject

He just wants to fix it, okay?

Will just,,, smother you in affection until you’re okay

And then some

OCTAVIA

Judgemental eyebrow raise.

Judgy, judgy girl

Y’all gotta be CLOSE for her to hug

((But not really, she’s so touch starved its not funny, but we don’t talk about that-))

Long, comforting hugs

If u end up crying, will fix your makeup for you

Don’t mention it though

Like, literally don’t mention it or it won’t happen again

She probs just breathes a sigh of relief when y’all hugs

Holds on a little too tight, for a little too long

If you ask first, she’ll start coming to you for hugs now too

FIZZAROLLI

Baby. Baby, baby man.

Will wrap his arms around you several times over

Another really tight hugger

You had shit to do?

Sike, not anymore

Now you’re spending all day with Fizz

Your fault, you started it by asking for a hug

Is super worried about you, but tries to play it down

Will do stupid shit just to see you laugh

Will ALSO flirt with you until you can’t stand it anymore

ASMODEUS

Immediately concerned, does not try to hide it

Much like his bf, cancels all plans for today

Y’all are gonna be chilling in bed and cuddling now

Just kinda,,, scoops you up?

Definitely plays with your hair

Gives a SOLID head massage

So so gentle and sweet

Just lays you on his chest

Draws pictures on your back and makes you guess what he’s drawing

^^ he does this to help ground you

Tbh he’ll probably drag Fizz to bed too, so know they’re both looking after you

Mans isn’t gonna let anyone get left out

[xazse]

CAN YOU PLEASE DO A PT 2 OF

SUGURU AND SATORU MEETING A CURSED HYBIRD PUPPY!GIRL WHER GOJO GOSE BACK TO THE PUPPY GRIL PLSPLSPLSPLSPSLPLSPLSSSSS

Notes: LMAO GLAD YOU LOVED <33 I HOPE THE PEOPLE WHO ALSO REQUESTED ALSO SEESTHIS: @appleblueberry-pie @postsarenerverdaily

2nd part of this: CursedPuppy!Reader

Pairings: Satoru x CursedPuppyGirl!Reader x Suguru

Tags: Fluff, Satoru and suguru are in jujutsu tech together so in this they are minors, light kissing, petting, (I don’t want to sexualize them as minors so this is sweet and fluffy)

Satoru is doing something he really should not be doing, it’s just too irrestiable.

He’s sneaking back to where he had met you, hoping and praying that you were still there. Suguru had been watching him like hawk, he knew Satoru would attempt to come back and find you, at least that’s what he had thought. Satoru gave it a couple of days before he’d come search for you again.

It was difficult but he had finally managed and now with his six eyes he would search for you. It was nighttime so the village was down and asleep, he carefully made his way to the old house a little far away from the village. He used his technique to search for your energy and found it, he almost jumped for joy. He followed it and you hadn’t felt his energy yet: weird but he ignored it.

You were squatted down poking at some water so adorably. Your back was turned to him so he cleaned his throat to get your attention. You were quick to whip around and see exactly who it was. The smile that graced your face was damn cute, Satoru’s heart was craving in on itself, you immediately jumped to your feet and ran to give him a hug.

He hugged you back so hard, kissing your forehead and saying just how much he missed you. He scratches behind your ears, which makes your cute tail wag at a high speed. You aren’t understanding his words but nonetheless you give in to his kisses and warm hugs. As Satoru is enjoying the moment he comes to the realization: What is he to do to you?

Suguru is livid when he comes to the Gojo estate: still composed of only gojo. To find flickers of a similar cursed energy he had felt that day. Satoru really does not listen, nor does he understand what the curse could capable of.

“Satoru.”

“Suguru.”

“You’re extremely hard-headed you know that.”

Suguru looks down at you cuddled up with Satoru on the couch where you lay on his chest, light breathing indicating you were sleeping and so peacefully so. You were wearing different clothing, shorts and a shirt that looked too big for you.

Satoru sighs and waves his hand in the air but not too hard as to not stir you awake, “you knew I was gonna do this” Suguru is left with nothing to say as he completely agrees.

“So what are you gonna do when a mission comes up?” Suguru says while making his way to the pair of you, sitting down in the open spot where Satorus head is. “You can only threaten the higher ups for so long you know” “I know that, we’ll work around my packed schedule, aww suguru are you worried about her being alone here?”

Suguru ignores that in favor of poking at your sleeping face, he’s mainly poking at your fat cheeks, you seem to be a little too comfortable for a curse. Satoru lightly swats at his hand, before giving you more kisses on your forehead.

“She’s a little cute, only a little” “only a little? stop fooling yourself Sugu” Suguru flicks at his forehead and Satoru clutches it while feigning hurt.

You start to stir awake, they both still completely and watch you. First you sit up slowly, stretch a little, and your eyes land on suguru. You weren’t this close to him during your first encounter before so you’re quick to crawl over Satoru: (he’s completely offended) and sit in his lap, you sniff at him, grab him, and mess with his hair. as surprised as Suguru is he makes no move to remove you.

“Traitor! Traitor! He’s not the one who saved you!” You just tilt your head at his words and giggle at his antics, Suguru really is interested in your tail, he grabs it a little too rough and in turn your quick to jump up. “Not so hard Suguru” Satoru scolds, he can’t believe he has the opportunity to tell him off it excites him a little. Suguru raises his hand towards you as a sign of an apology, you don’t seem to understand this gesture so he grabs your hand and guides you back to his lap.

He’s gentle with rubbing your ears, so soft and reactive they are. He can see your leg twitching just a bit when he rubs the back of your ears, you seem to love attention, love when all eyes are on you. Satoru leans over and gives you another kiss but this time on the cheek and when he’s pulling away you follow him, you really are goddamn cute, Suguru can fully admit that.

You shuffle so you’re back on lap properly and wrap your arms around his neck, placing your face in the crook and sighing loudly.

“Sorry Satoru it seems you’ve been replaced” Suguru laughs sinisterly

“Replaced? Me?!” Satoru stares for a moment before getting up and walking to the kitchen, he’s rummaging in there for a while before he walks out with some cake on a plate, and he sits at the end of couch and begins poking at it while glancing at you occasionally. You sniff the air and notice the cake, Satoru has deemed that you love sweet things as much as him so he expects you to crawl over and be all up in his face like you usually do, it’s cute when your mouth automatically opens like he’s meant to feed you.

You don’t do none of that, you bury yourself deeper in Suguru’s shoulder and play with his hair, to rub it in Satoru’s face while he sits there mouth open astonished, he tilts his head a little to give your cheek a little kiss, you react with giving him multiple kisses. All while Satoru is pouting obviously and loudly.

[saetoru]

tee!!! i hope u don't mind me asking about rb!gojo but i've been wondering if he's ever visited reader at work? :o (actually i wonder a lotta thINGS about rich boy! gojo and reader, this is just the thought that i think about the most LMAO)

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SECURITY — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)

contents. college! au, rich boy! gojo, established relationships, reader’s work is unspecified ; notes. niku HELP. i bet he does visit often and i bet it’s equally endearing as it is utterly embarrassing

for anyone else, having your boyfriend visit you at work is sweet. it’s romantic. it might even be the standard—for you, having satoru visit is a nightmare.

“hiya baby! i brought lunch—i know you didn’t have time to eat breakfast today, you were running late. i kept you up all night, huh? you seemed tired. what can i say? i’m just too good at what i do.”

what. the. fuck—every time satoru opens his mouth, you regret not sewing it shut when you had the chance. he manages to make you wish you could crawl into your own skin and turn inside out.

you glare at him. he grins.

“this is your boyfriend?” your coworker gapes, staring at satoru as he plasters a smug little smirk on his face—a part of you wants to tell your coworker to stop looking at him with heart eyes before you staple them shut. the other part wants to deny ever being involved with the jerk that’s effectively embarrassed you for the rest of your career in the span of two seconds.

“i don’t know who this is,” you say quickly, “can we get security?”

“wha—what are you talking about? i’m literally your boyfriend,” satoru sputters. you look at your coworker like he’s crazy—she looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.

“he’s not,” you insist.

“i am!”

“definitely not,” you shake your head.

satoru looks more than a little offended. “i totally am! don’t lie!”

“i swear he’s not my boyfriend,” you chuckle nervously, “i don’t even date guys with freaky blue eyes and weird white hair, really!”

“hey!” he gasps, pouting, “that’s mean! you called me handsome this morning!”

“i don’t even know his name,” you insist—your coworker doesn’t seem to believe you, unfortunately. why doesn’t she believe you? you plead with the universe that she somehow, by the grace of god, believes you.

“that’s a lie,” satoru snorts, “you knew it pretty well last night. i think my neighbors know it too.” leave it to gojo satoru to embarrass you even worse than he already has at your job of all places.

“satoru,” you scold harshly before you realize—and then you blink before sighing because…well, you’ve really backed yourself into a corner with that one.

“aha,” he grins victoriously, “see? you know my name. now introduce your boyfriend who took the time to cook you—”

“buy,” you correct. he huffs.

“fine. buy you lunch—still very thoughtful, if you ask me.”

“wow,” your coworker giggles, “you guys are…certainly a dynamic.”

“thank you!” satoru grins, beaming as he sends you a wink. you think you might have to put in your two weeks notice during your lunch break—but at least you can wallow in your miseries with an expensive lunch provided by the bane of your existence.

“that wasn’t a compliment, satoru,” you grumble.

“well, at least he’s cute,” she chuckles, elbowing you.

you scowl, crossing your arms as you warn, “don’t be looking too closely. he enjoys the attention.”

“are you jealous?” satoru wiggles his brows. with a fake smile, you grab the lunch from his hands before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“thank you for lunch baby,” you hum—he smiles, ready to answer when you cut him off, “security!”

this is so unserious 💀

[evenyvn]

— streamer! aventurine x supermodel spouse! reader

cw ;; gn reader, fluff, sfw, kinda househusband aventurine since he's already retired from his former job on ipc.

and happiest birthday to my beloved aventurine ♡

streamer aventurine! who streams for fun and got popular quickly due to his former job, and he streams regularly now since he got plenty of times.

streamer aventurine! who streams about video games (mostly gacha games) and probably reviewing fancy products that he got, such as watch, perfumes etc etc. honestly he do whatever he wanted to do and everyone seems to like it.

streamer aventurine! that got viral because his god luck on rolling for gacha games, literally got 3 5 stars on his first 10 pulls, always won 50/50 and soft pity at that, he did stream contents like "pulling on my viewers accounts" and always ended up with crazy luck on his rolls, literally his viewers crying that they finally broke their 50/50 losing streak thanks to aventurine.

streamer aventurine! that shocked everyone when you accidentally walked in one of his streams, but with only your body that have been seen, and he's adamant to keep your face hidden because he wanted to keep your pretty face all for himself. his viewers think that you kinda look familiar but aventurine just shrugs it off with a knowing smirk.

streamer aventurine! that will get teased by his viewers once they knew he's married to a very attractive person (you). they'll be saying something like "is your roommate single?" or other down bad comments just to get his reactions.

stellarjadehunter donated 100 credits! : roommate's face reveal when?

"excuse you? that's my spouse right there!" cue him looking at the camera with an offended look, your laughter can be heard from the other room making him pout.

another comment pointing out that you look like you could be a supermodel makes him giggles behind his hand, trying so hard not to burst out laughing.

after that whole things happened, now you seem to be appearing more on his streams (without showing your face still). sometimes you just sit somewhere off camera or sometimes stand beside him while holding a food and occasionally feeds him, his viewers think your actions are cute and he think it's endearing.

that's it until someone point out how aventurine's spouse looks a little bit too much like a certain famous supermodel, aventurine saw someone who did a whole research and analysis on this and post it on social media, he just laugh it off saying that they're being delulu.

"seriously guys, i saw someone making a whole thread about my spouse, believe me when i say they're just a normal person"

yea no one believes him, ouch.

veritasratio : they're already know, you cannot fool them anymore.

"shut up veritas"

now onto the part where his viewers catch a glimps of your face or hair, the whole community went crazy and the truth finally unfolds. aventurine's spouse is the crazy famous intergalactic supermodel.

aventurine's not happy with it but he's definitely going to brag about it everytime on the stream now. everyone is tired.

"well, I'm a husband of-"

topaznnumby donated 200 credits : "okay okay WE GET IT, your spouse is a SUPERMODEL"

now that your identity has revealed you're showing your face more on stream, even sometimes doing a cooking or baking stream together with your husband (it's honestly just you cooking while he just looks at you with a lovesick face the whole time).

streamer! aventurine who sometimes get on a friendly banter with your fans, literally just him saying that he's your biggest fan and more bragging. he's greatful that your fanbase is actually really chill because you yourself never tried to hide the fact that you're happily married on interviews.

streamer! aventurine who gets more popular, because half of his viewers are just your fanbase now lmao.

✦thank you for reading, likes and reblogs are very appreciated♡

[floatmeintothesun]

How Genshin guys react to you calling them by their full names:

ok I know this isn’t original at all but I seriously loved this sort of concept and found it hilarious! I’m sorry to the person who originally came up with this but thank you for thinking of this wonderful idea!

tw: none

tags: a little suggestive (only implied), some nicknames, fluff, no gender mentioned

—

Diluc:

“Diluc Ragnvidr!”

Poor guy. His head instantly snaps to wherever you're standing, whether it be behind him, to the side, a full floor above, or underneath, Diluc will immediately twist in your direction.

(Ouch. I can hear his neck pain from here.)

He’ll be all worried, seeking you out and asking you if he’s done anything wrong, or if you need him for something important. You usually call him sweet little pet names and he’ll reciprocate, calling you his darling, my sweet, my dear, etc, more romantic gooey names, so something must be wrong if you're resorting to his full name, right?

He’ll be so stressed out in those moments when you haven’t cleared anything up. Give him cuddles after you tell him it’s just a prank, he’ll be relieved, but sulky and somewhat pouty. 

As he should be. You nearly gave him a heart attack, and not in your usual lovely way with your wonderful affection…

“Darling? Is everything alright--no, did I do something, not to your liking? Ah…a prank. I see…actually, come visit my office after work…you can say my name all you want there…”

Zhongli:

“Rex Lapis!”

Oh no. He’ll blink slowly, turning to look at you with curiosity and slight apprehension while he tries to figure out why you're using his Archon title. Sure, his name sounds wonderful falling from your lips but he can’t think of a reason why you’d use it now.

Do you require his assistance? Oh, you look displeased, did he do something that warrants your anger? Zhongli will stare at you placidly while you try your best to look angry at him.

He already has an idea that you're playing a prank on him, but just in case you aren’t he’ll just wait for you to break character. After a second your expression melts and he finds faint amusement as you sigh exaggeratedly as if he’s ruined the joke. 

Oops.

“Ah, my apologies, my dear. I had an idea that this wasn't quite as serious as your voice had made it out to be. You can be quite intimidating when you want to be, but let’s keep names like those in the bedroom, hm?”

Kaeya:

“Kaeya Alberich!”

He’s sitting up ramrod straight, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. What happened to the sweet little nicknames you usually call him? Wait—you sound a little angry, did he do something wrong?

“Yes, my dear,” He stresses those last two words, looking at you with unmasked curiosity. All the while he’s probably analyzing every conversation he’s had with you and trying to pick out the bits that could have offended you somehow. Although he may not show it, he’s subtly freaking out while you stare at him.

When you finally tell him that it’s a prank, a slow smirk will crawl up his face, his eye narrowing darkly because how dare you. He was genuinely worried that you were mad at him for whatever reason.

“Hmm…I’d much rather hear you calling me dadd--Hey! Don’t hit me…”

—

I’m down bad for these bitches lmao

[on-leatheredwings]

House Arrest

Yandere! Batfam / Bruce Wayne x (Fem!) Reader

For a request, Munchausen's syndrome by proxy with Bruce? Like, he keeps reader sick so she can't leave him or interact with someone outside the family. And maybe the rest of the batfam is in on it?

[a/n: Didn’t know if you wanted this platonic or not so I didn’t specify! In my head its romantic with bruce though lmao]

> word count: 1581

> Tw: gaslighting, munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, yandere-typical behaviors!

You sit in anticipation, foot tapping against the stone floor. There’s an entire miniature hospital set up for you down here in the Batcave. Respirators, diagnostics machines, and other expensive medical equipment that would be better served in Gotham General. 

Helping people recover. 

So patients could some day leave. 

You used to love being in the Batcave. It was the family’s little secret. When you officially joined the family, the Batcave was now your secret as well. But ever since falling ill months ago, bedridden with a sickness whose cause continues to elude everyone… being here is depressing. You now notice it’s damp down here. Dark. Lifeless.

Bruce sits at the Batcomputer, the screen’s light painting over his face in a green wash. You watch his eyes scan line after line of your results. Reminds you of a typewriter. Methodical. Orderly. Nearly inhuman. When he sighs, your heart stops. 

Fuck.

He turns to you, face grave. “You’re still ill.” 

Your eyes start stinging with an onset of tears that you furiously try to blink back. 

“... H-How ill? How bad? Am I any better?” you ask, as if bartering with him will make the situation any different. As if bartering with God ever made any difference for mere mortals such as yourself.

Bruce’s face is still. 

“You haven’t improved.” 

Your hopes crash down around you like glass. You aren’t better at all? Even though you haven’t had a fever in weeks? Even though you’ve been working out with enough energy to keep up with Damian? He was exerting perhaps only 10% of his effort, but still. Your lymph nodes aren’t even swollen anymore. Tim had told you as much, accidentally contradicting Bruce’s insistence that they had been earlier that morning. 

“But I feel better,” you croak. You hear footsteps behind you approach and you swallow drily, nearly hissing at the offender. It’s Dick, and damn him. You don’t want to be placated right now.

“Are you experiencing any headaches? Shortness of breath?” Bruce asks, eyes still trained on you. You try to recall. 

“... I may have had a migraine this morning…” At Bruce’s weary shake of the head, you blurt, “But it’s passed. I’m perfectly fine. And no shortness of breath.”

“... I’m sorry. But if you’ve been having symptoms like that, along with your being immunocompromised…” Bruce doesn’t even have to finish the sentence. You won’t be leaving the Wayne Manor grounds for a long time. 

Fuck. 

Fuck. 

You feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up and see Dick, whose face is somber but offers an encouraging smile. 

“Well, I’m back in town for the time being. We can hang out all the time.” His expression brightens as an idea pops into his head. “And I can call Tim, Jason, Duke–! Maybe even Cass and Steph… We can have a board game night tonight!” He sounds as chipper as you are miserable.

Damian approaches from behind, leaving the shadows. His arms are folded. “If that’s the case, I’ll humor Grayson and let him capture some of my fleet for once.” A popular choice was Risk, perfect for the family who’s entire lives revolved around combat and strategy. But you didn’t want to play Risk again. You didn’t want to have a board game night, no matter how many of the family came. You wanted to see people. 

Other people. Everyone here is your family. 

You want fucking friends again. You wanted a job again – a sentiment you would’ve laughed at even just five months ago. You wanted any semblance of a life again.

Bruce’s eyes haven’t left your trembling form once, two chips of slate-gray peering over steepled hands.

“Thank you, Dick. Damian. But I think she could use some time alone.”

Dick’s hand releases your shoulder, retracting as if burned. None of them are the boss here. It’s Bruce who is my warden, your mind whispers darkly. 

“Right! Don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.” Dick sees himself out, taking Damian with him. “See you tonight.” And that feels like a sentencing to your fate.

Now the two of you alone, Bruce stands, offering his arm wordlessly. You know what this means. You take it, linking yours with his without thought or protest. Bruce liked to ensure you were always within his reach, as if you were prone to fainting spells. This was less humiliating for you than him carrying you through the estate, you suppose. 

“Why, yes, let’s take a turn around the grounds!” you used to exclaim, making your voice posh and British, mimicking the regency romance movies you had been watching all the time. 

Now, months later, you just sullenly allow him to lead you. Your surroundings pass by and you vaguely recognize that you are exiting the Batcave, walking through the manor, and out into the never-ending expanse of a well-kept lawn. 

It’s a sunny, idyllic spring day after months of overcast winter. 

And thank god you could still traipse outside when you wanted, even if fenced in. Bruce told you when you had first fallen ill that he had installed some high-tech, anti-air pollution gadget. Wayne Manor was effectively your own personal bubble. Fresh air was the only thing keeping you sane, lately. 

You two pass by the garden, a labor of love Alfred started. You and Damian tend to it now… and mainly the latter, these days. You haven’t had any energy for gardening as of late. Fatigue is a symptom, you hear Bruce’s voice whisper in the back of your mind. But you don’t feel fatigue… rather, just depressed. But of course, isn’t fatigue a symptom of being depressed…? A familiar brain fog crawls into your mind. Your head was starting to hurt.

You look across the lawn, onto the horizon. Gotham’s dark skyline sits there, enticing. When night falls, it’ll glimmer and twinkle with light. There is a whole world out there. And, God, you love the Waynes, but they aren’t the world. You need to distract yourself. Bruce, ever the lover of pleasant silences, is going to have to distract you from thoughts that make you want to leap off the second story balcony of your bedroom.

Should you ask, “How’s work?” No. You find you don’t care. 

“How’s Jason?” you say instead, feeling Bruce stiffen at the mention of his most tenuous relation.

He wasn’t around as much, but when he was, he was always relaxing with you in your room. You have a whole shelf for the knick knacks he brings. “Don’t worry. They’re clean,” he’d snort at his former mentor, because Bruce required everything to be thrice sanitized before coming into your possession.

“... Better.”

You’re glad. That’s one good thing, you guess. 

“Bruce,” you croak. 

He looks at you, face alight in expectation. 

“Maybe I should just go,” you say, small and weak. Your eyes don’t leave the sight of Gotham skyscrapers, stretching to the sky. Bruce stills, stopping you both in your tracks.

“What do you mean, ‘go’?” he says carefully.

You remove yourself from his arm and gesture to the city. “Just go. Leave. I mean, I can’t stay here forever.” Bruce looks genuinely confused, as much as he can. 

“Of course you can.”

“No, I can’t!” you screech. Frustrated, you tear at your hair. “I can just be an outpatient somewhere– I can go for hospital treatments every week– or everyday– whatever!

Bruce places his hands on your shoulders.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Rage flares in you and you gnash your teeth at him. By now, that all-too-familiar brain fog has flooded your brain. But you try to fight it. You have to fight it. Like trying to crawl out of rapidly-sinking quicksand, you fight it.

“I-I know what I’m saying. I’m saying–”

“You’re saying to just let you die,” Bruce sharply returns. “To give up, let you die, and leave us to grieve.” 

“No–”

“Stephanie.” 

You meet his eyes again at the name, which are resolute and as blue as ever. 

“Cassandra. Duke.” Your stomach churns, imagining their smiling faces, turned into ash as your hypothetical passing. “Barbara.” 

“Bruce,” you croak, pleading inwardly for him to stop. 

“Damian.” 

“Tim.”

“Jason.” 

“Dick. Alfred.” You duck your head and your eyes meet the ground. The listing of all your loved ones pinches your heart, and you feel nauseous. You weren’t trying to leave them. You didn’t want to leave them at all. 

“... Me.” 

Your eyes sting with tears again. Why did he have to make it sound like that? Like you were seeking some selfish want, rather than trying to improve your quality of life. You feel your ambition and desire wane under the weight of guilt. You feel all sense of struggle start to disintegrate, lost to the fog in your head. Lost. You’ve lost.

Bruce’s eyes scrutinize you.

“As I suspected. You’re acting delirious. Manic. Delusional.”

Any semblance of protest dies in your throat. 

“What?” you say. But Bruce is already leading you away towards the looming doors of Wayne Manor, away from the green of the grounds. Away from the light of the sun, and away from the skyline. He comforts you with familiar lines on the way to your bedroom. 

You need rest. Alfred will brew his tea for you. I’ll call the kids to come tonight. We can play Risk. He pats your shoulder, stroking soft, deceptively warm circles with his thumb.

“You just need some rest.” 

And not for the first time, you believe he may be right.

[moonstruckme]

hi!!! i love all ur marauders works they’re seriously so cute and i love how you write them!! idk if you’ve done this one already and if you have just ignore this lol but could you do remus having a nightmare and reader comforting him? ik you’ve done the reverse but i wanna know what he’s like lmao. i need to see more confer remus i can’t get enough

Thank you lovely <3

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

It’s already graying outside the window when you wake. Remus has been having some agitated nights lately, and the dim lighting of the bedroom lets you see that this has been another one. 

You’ve probably woken from the cold, all your sheets and blankets kicked mercilessly to the end of the bed. Remus’ face is twisted up tight, his hands twitching like they’re trying to grab for something, and he’s making soft, distressed little sounds that threaten to crack your heart clean in two. You hate to think how long he’s been like this without you waking. 

“Rem,” you start soft, reaching for his hand as you’ve learned to do. Touch his shoulder or any other part of him and he’s likely to wake jolting, your offending hand gripped cruelly by the wrist. Once, before you’d learned your lesson, he’d kicked himself fully out of bed from the start you gave him. You’d sat in the living room with a hot pack on his tailbone, murmuring apologies back and forth until the sun came up. 

You needle your fingers underneath his gently. “Remus, honey, you’re okay. You’re home.” His fingers twitch closer around yours, and you’re careful not to grab him back even though you want to, running the pads of your fingers down the length of his to loosen them. “You’re safe. You’re at home.” His eyes start to move faster behind his lids. “Rem.” 

That last whisper does it. He doesn’t startle, which is always a victory, but Remus still inhales sharply as he wakes. His muscles seize as though they mean to propel him somewhere, then relax shudderingly. 

You entwine your fingers with his, stay quiet. You know he knows you’re here but he won’t look at you just yet, hiding away the most frantic parts of himself before he’ll let himself turn towards you. You don’t love that he does it. You know better than to push him, though. It unnerves him worse when you try to jimmy your way into his thoughts while he’s still raw like this. 

“Sorry,” he says on an exhale. 

“Don’t be.” You start to stroke up his wrist, but Remus pulls his hand from yours, slipping out of bed and walking from the room. 

You tail him. This is part of your routine, too. You think he likes to give you the option of going back to sleep, though you can’t imagine he’d actually feel any better if you did. He’s fooling himself. (It’s okay; you’re a fool for him sometimes, too.) 

Remus isn’t surprised when you wrap your arms around his middle in the kitchen, resting your cheek against his back. He’s already got the kettle going. 

“How are you?” you ask, though you think you have some idea. He’s still trembling gently under your hands. 

“Alright.” He sets one hand over your two clasped around his front. “You should go back to sleep.” 

You almost smile at his predictability. Remus isn’t usually so stiff around you, but even he has admitted he reverts back to a younger, terser self when he’s feeling vulnerable. You could tell him that you’d have been waking up soon anyway, or that you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you knew you’d left him like this, but you go with the truth that you know you’d want to hear. 

“I want to be with you,” you say simply. 

Remus turns in your arms, resting his lips on top of your head. “Thanks, dove.” 

You hum like For what? and step around him as the kettle finishes boiling, grabbing his favorite mug from the cabinet above. Remus lets you take care of him this little bit, but he doesn’t go to sit down in the living room until you’re headed that way too. 

You curl up against him on the couch, your knees tipped over his thighs while his legs bridge the gap between the sofa and the coffee table. He blows the steam off his mug. 

“Do you remember what the dream was about?” 

“Bits and pieces.” Remus’ voice is still a bit raspy with sleep, and you know exactly what he’s thinking when his lips twitch: you’ve told him more than a few times how attractive you find it like this. “I don’t think it’s worth talking about.” 

“Okay,” you say. You’re both speaking softly, like the house itself is still slumbering as morning creeps up on the outside world. After Remus’ nightmare, you imagine he appreciates the peace anyway.

He sighs, looking at you almost sheepishly. “Sorry I’ve been waking you so much lately.” 

“Sorry you’ve been sleeping so horribly lately,” you counter. 

Remus smiles ruefully. “I think it’s all this stuff going on at work. Rude of it to fuck with me even when I’m sleeping, though.” 

You hum, tracing a scar near his elbow with your finger. “I didn’t realize you were so stressed. I’m sorry.” 

“I’ve hardly realized it myself,” he admits. 

You frown, and Remus looks back into his mug, shying from your scrutiny. “Do you think it might help if we relaxed a bit more here?” you ask him. “We could start reading that book together again.” 

His eyes are soft when they meet yours, the color of honey and just as sweet. “That sounds really nice,” he says. 

You smile. It feels good to have a plan. “Hug?” you ask him. 

Remus sets down his tea to make room for you, and you straddle his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands spread out on your back, tentative at first and then firmer as you snuggle up to him. 

“I’ll make cheese toasties and soup tonight,” you say softly. Remus sounds almost like he could purr as you start playing with the hair at his nape. He gives your hips a little tug, getting you closer. “And we can read or watch something or do a puzzle, whatever you feel like when you get home. We could talk about the work stuff, if you wanted to.” You say this last part hesitantly, but Remus hums his approval. 

“You’re so good to me, do you know that?” 

You grin. “I do my best.” 

He huffs a laugh, the sound gruff and heart-squeezing. You lapse into a thin silence, each listening to the other breathe but feeling the beginning of the new day pressing at your windows. 

“We have some time before we’d normally start to get ready,” you try. “Want to stay like this for a bit?” 

“Yeah,” Remus sighs, settling his arms around you more securely. “Yeah, good idea.”

[cloudcountry]

GOOD TIME MY FELLOW FISH LIKER-

I HAVE COME TO YOUR FISH MARKET FOR MORE FISH!

Eels specifically.

CONSIDER!!! Eel Twin of your choice with an eel apologist.

Like Jade feeds someone a poisonous mushroom and they're like "Your fault for not being resistant to posion lmao" or [Reader holding Floyd's face gently] Someone: "HOW CAN YOH DO THAT?! THAT IS A FACE OF A KILLER!!!" [Offended dramatic gasp from reader] "FLOYD IS BABY!!! HE IS INNOCENT!!! THOSE PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY DIED ON PURPOSE!!" [Proceeds to coo and squish Floyd's face]

SUMMARY: Jade & Floyd with an "eel apologist."

WARNINGS: None!!

COMMENTS: literally me!! this was so fun to write C:<

When Jade offered you a dish with his prized mushrooms in it, he did not expect you to eat it. Everyone else at the table looked on in horror as you ate, savoring the dish. You finish the entire thing, look up at everyone staring, and huff out a harsh, “What?”

One of the student side eyes Jade before leaning in and whispering something to you. Jade is smiling just as serenely as he always is, never giving anything away, never concerned for others' opinions.

“Are you stupid?” you tilt your head, words blunt and piercing, “Jade would never do anything like that. The dish was good, and you’d know that if you just tried it.”

You both know Jade would absolutely do whatever that poor soul suggested, but you still turn to Jade with an apologetic smile. “Thanks for the meal, Jade. It was really good.” You get up and hug him, squeezing him tightly just like his brother.

Jade, having been given an opportunity to stare down the people you were sitting with without being caught by you, smirks. His grin is wide, taunting, and they shudder. You all should know better than to try and turn Jade’s precious little pearl on him.

“Shrimpyyyy!” is all you hear before your friends grab your arm and try to tug you down the hallway, fear in their eyes. You, however, stay rooted to the spot as you try to wiggle your arm out of their hold.

You don’t quite do it in time, but Floyd helps you. He scoops you up by your armpits and tears you away from your friends with a soft gasp. “Why were you guys crowding around Shrimpy like a school of minnows?” he hisses, and he does not sound happy.

“Floyd! how’s my favorite little moray doing?” you squash his face between your hands, kneading the skin. Your friends gasp in terror, but Floyd looks like he just won the grand prize for an event.

“Little moray?” he giggles, swinging you around, “Careful, Shrimpy. This little moray might just eat you alive.” Your friends gasp and shudder, looking scared for your life, but you just lean in close and rub your noses together.

“That’d be a good way to go out.” you giggle, smacking a kiss on the tip of his nose, “But you’d never do something like that!” Your friends are about to protest, but Floyd pulls you close and glares at them over your shoulder. Oh, you’re definitely not the one he’d eat alive.

[harleehazbinfics]

Cookies for Everyone!

--- cannibal chef m.list a/n at the end!

"Everyone! I got all of you something!" You excitedly bounded to them with a covered round tray in your hands.

Everyone turns to you curious as to what you're holding, except Vaggie, who narrows her eyes suspiciously at the tray crossing her arms.

"What's in the tray?" She asks, voice laced with hostility.

"Oh, Vaggie. I'm sure it's something harmless," Charlie tries to mediate with a smile.

"Harmless? From her?" Husk retorts with a snide grin. "I'd believe it when snakes and pigs fly."

Angel gasps hugging Fat Nuggets closely. While Sir Pentious does the same with an offended look hugging his eggbois.

"Too far, my bad."

You waved them off with a laugh, and said, "Oh, goodness no! I could never! I just wanted to give you guys a little something for inviting me to do stuff with you recently. I never had proper friends before, so I made you..."

You drag the suspense and slowly lift the cover making them hitch their breaths anticipating the worst.

What was it? Mutilated body parts? Teeth bracelets? Their stinkiest undergarments?!

You finally presented the gift with a proud look on your face, while their tense faces deflated in relief to see...

"Cookies?"

"PEOPLE SHAPED COOKIES! LOOK IT'S ALL OF US!" Charlie screams elated grabbing her cookie.

"I think those are called Gingerbread Men," Husk remarks at Charlie cynically making Vaggie glare at him.

"Woah! These look great, doll!" Angel complements inspecting the cookie with a smile.

"They also taste amazing!" Pentious adds, melting from the taste of your baking.

"Not gonna lie. I thought you'd give us eyes or nails of our loved ones," Vaggie confesses before eating a bite out of her cookie, "These aren't half bad."

You smile and reply with a shrug, "I'm crazy but I'm not a monster."

"I think we've already passed that, dear," Alastor notes appearing by your side.

"Sir Alastor! I wouldn't dare forget to make you some!" You said giving him a little bag of his own cookies, giving the rest their own goodie bags.

"Well, everyone. We'll be heading out. Can't be late for our reservation," Alastor announces cutting through everyone's conversation taking their attention.

"Reservation?" You ask tilting your head rather cutely, but Alastor would rather die than say that out loud, "I never arranged a reservation for you, Sir."

He grins holding your shoulder, and replies, "I made it for you, of course! Seems like you've already forgotten about your own birthday, sweetheart."

Your head explodes into a red color looking very embarrassed and excited, both at his endearment and plans for you. It made you feel very appreciated that he remembered something you've barely told anyone.

Your brain runs around in delusions. Thinking so far into the future where you'd live together with Alastor, sleeping in the same room being woken up by your pet cat and being a family.

"We can't be late. See you in a while, chums!" The radio demon bids goodbye holding your lovesick form in his arms in a princess carry while you short-circuited.

"Should we name our cat after you, sir? 💕"

---

saw this goin around while i was gone wtf, its oddly and scarily cute ew? /aff LMAO