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fortjester · 2 years

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Actually, a concept I've been chewing on for a while is the Saint’s titles. G1deon as the Saint of Duty (for Pyrrha), Augustine as the Saint of Patience (for Alfred), and Mercymorn as the Saint of Joy (for Cristabel). Now, we’re all well aware of how in deep to the whole Catholicism theme Jod is, and I recently saw someone offering Cytherea’s title up as the Saint of Sacrifice (cannot remember where I saw this and Tumblr won’t give me damn thing, so if you know please hmu about it or tag them because I don't wanna claim that as my own idea), which triggered something in my brain. Apart from Augustine, their titles all seem to be synonyms for the seven cardinal virtues. Duty/Diligence, Joy/Kindness, Sacrifice/Charity. yeah, it’s a bit of a reach, but it’s a reach I deeply wanted to explore. So, with that in mind, I experimentally (tentatively) assigned the other (deceased) lyctor’s with titles based on the seven cardinal virtues, and did a bit of analysis on each Saint based on this idea.

Cassiopeia I assigned Temperance (because, like, hello?? the break clause???), Cyrus I assigned Humility (ironic, no?), and Ulysses Chastity. I haven’t gone ahead and synonym-ed them because 1. that’s an exercise in confusing myself, and 2. Temperance/Diligence/Chastity sorta loop back around on each other, so why bother, lol. In any case, you’re probably thinking “hey, pump the breaks, Ulysses “sexy parties” the First as the Saint of Chastity? I’m out” and that’s totally fair, but it does also bring me to my next point:

Could the necromancer halves of each of the lyctoral pairs feed into the title designation? (you probably saw this coming from a mile away) could John be subtly roasting them? (probably not, but he’d definitely find it funny) let’s look at the corresponding deadly sin for each cardinal virtue.

Duty/Diligence is the virtue of being a resilient and persistent force, with emphasis put on its practice in study and as a professional credence– but it is also, most importantly, the virtue associated with unshaking and undeniable faith. Over and over in Harrow the Ninth it is alluded to that G1deon, while being the third Saint to ascend, is also the most loyal to the Emperor and the most steadfast in his goal to protect him from harm. When John asks for “G1deon’s” loyalty in Act Five of HtN (unknowingly asking Pyrrha), he receives it without hesitation, as he expects to. Even G– in Nona the Ninth’s pre-Res chapters, showcases a dazzling amount of faith in John: supporting his causes, fighting the good fight on his behalf, letting John cut off his fucking arm, carrying an armed nuke for him– all without much question, all without doubt or hesitancy. Which is all well and good, but now remember that Pyrrha was the reason his Saintly title was Duty/Diligence – Pyrrha, who commits to protecting and defending her little New Rho family as much as she possibly can; Pyrrha who fulfills Wake’s death wish in Act Five of HtN the minute she sees Wake has been caught by John; Pyrrha, whose love of those who were “put into the universe to rig it to explode” (pg. 120, NtN) often morphs into her self-imposed duty to make sure the explosion follows through, without interference – how can we reconcile that Diligence is often juxtaposed with Sloth? No one could say that G1deon was an inactive guy, nor can we say that his evidence backing up the Diligence aspect is unsubstantial, but Sloth as a sin doesn’t just refer to just hanging out doin nothin; it also implies that through a lack of purpose or task you’re inviting sin into your life (re: “satan makes work/mischief for idle hands”). And we know for a fact that unknowingly compartmentalising Pyrrha during his ascension meant he frequently lost time due to her surfacing, that he doubted that John could help him, or would help him without destroying him in the process, (doubt in the lord doth not diligence make!), and so kept silent about it, withdrawing into himself, becoming unsociable, single minded, solitary, and most of all cut off from those he served and swore he loved. Final point: who do we know who also, quite famously, fucked around and found out on the job? I rest my case.

Patience is paired with Wrath, and that checks out for Mr Augustine “she was a bloody monster...and you went and made her worse! [five seconds later] raised my voice. Apologies.” (- pg. 478, HtN) Quinque doesn’t it? No further evidence required! [bangs gavel] (Just kidding, let’s get into it.) Patience as a virtue is defined as the ability to persevere, tolerate, and endure without doubt or resorting to irritation and anger. It’s the virtue of taking the moral high ground (or, at least, not visibly or audibly throwing your lot in with the moral low ground), and remaining steadfast in your convictions. Of the two Lyctors we see most in HtN, it's widely agreed that Augustine appears to be the more composed of the two, but when it comes down to it, it’s clear he’s masking his own fury and general erraticism. Now, Patience is the Saintly title awarded to Alfred, whose most notable action was forcing his brother to ascend by taking his own life in a suicide pact with Mercy’s cavalier, Cristabel, which one might not associate so much with Patience. Alfred (or, rather, his pre-Resurrection counterpart in NtN, “A–’s little brother”) is also referred to as the “mediator”, and isn’t deemed particularly useful by John, but he softens this comment by saying he understood, that A– was pulling his loved ones close, that they all were. A–’s little brother is one of the first to die in John 1:20; “A—’s little brother was there … dead in the middle … shot from both sides. Nobody likes a peacemaker.” (- pg. 358, NtN), which I think speaks levels towards his Saintly title of Patience. Augustine on the other hand is the kind of man who plots his brother-Lyctor’s murder for no discernible reason; the kind of man who calls Mercy ‘unloveable’ and ‘unnecessary’ to her face with only bored sincerity in his tone; drops a space station into the River in order to kill John, uncaring of who else is on board when he does so. Augustine harbours a lot of anger very close to his chest and lets it out in short, controlled moments of destruction until the end. He lives in sin by refusing to let go of his anger, which is fine, I see why he does it, but it does mean I can safely brand him as Wrath.

Joy/Kindness butts up against Envy (the resentful desire for another’s successes or possessions) and doesn’t that just take the cake? Mercy, who fully snaps the second she realises John “hid” perfect lyctorhood not just from her, but from all the Saints, being the embodiment of Envy– directly juxtaposed with Cristabel (named “Joy” by John, and referred to by Augustine as “a total delight. effervescent. kind to children and animals.” - pg. 177, HtN) labelled as the virtue of Joy/Kindness? I mean, yeah, Augustine was also pissed, as was Cyth, as any of them would fightfully be – but Mercy specifically having that be the straw that breaks her back? Weirdly fitting. And there can be arguments made that Cristabel’s Saintly title is very surface level, but if we think about it, I can see a very real foundation in it. In the Nona the Ninth pre-Resurrection chapters, M–’s Nun is the first person John actually listens to about getting him to practice some semblance of self care again, and also his foremost support in sussing out the third aspect of the “trinity” of necromancy. She notably teams up with A–’s little brother to mediate the cryo team’s argument during John 1:20, and when John locks himself in his room to escape the arguing, she’s there with M–, who is yelling through the door, but she’s only kind to him. She prays for him, and she asks how he’s feeling. Given the everything about John 1:20, we’re not all as kind and forgiving of John as she was, but that’s her virtue – looking beyond it. And she comes back and tells him it's okay that he doesn't feel like a hero, and that she thinks he can save them anyway. And no one’s gonna argue that her suicide immediately following was a kindness, but it did allow John to do everything that came next, and as much as we know he regrets it, I can also see him perceiving that as a kindness.

And now it will all be on theorised titles, so bear with me.

Cytherea as the Saint of Sacrifice/Charity blows me away, bc Loveday of course knew she was either walking away with no Necromancer, when they came to Canaan House, or Cyth would ascend and she’d likely go back to Rhodes and never see her again. In the end, though, Cyth’s ascension hinged on Loveday’s devotion to her, and with the hope that Lyctorhood might ease the suffering of her illness, she made the ultimate sacrifice of giving Cyth her life. And Cyth then had to live the next myriad in agony, knowing Loveday’s sacrifice was all but worthless, along with mourning her and guiltripping herself, and getting told she’s the loveliest, the kindest, best of us all. “The most loyal, the most humane, the most resilient…I made her live ten thousand years in pain and she let me…” (- pg. 442, Gideon the Ninth). So, of course, I support this as her Saintly title. Sacrifice/Charity is paired off with Greed, which popularly is defined as the sin of “condemning things eternal for the sake of temporal things,” (- St Thomas Aquinas). What do we know that Cyth wanted? Revenge (seeking retribution/vengeance for a wrong or injury done to oneself or another, a temporary fix to gain satisfaction). Justice (the principle that people receive that which they are deserving of, fairness, harmony). She wanted to be taken seriously (“When you grow up awfully ill, you’re used to everyone making those decisions for you, and hating it…so you do tend to want to take everyone’s feelings as seriously as yours aren’t.” - pg. 365, GtN), she wanted to mean something important (re: labelling herself the vengeance of the 10 billion in her proper introduction to Gideon in chapter 35 of GtN). And most of all, she wanted to die (“There was no fear in her now. There was only anticipation verging on panicked excitement, like a girl waiting for her birthday party.” - pg. 401, GtN). She wanted things that last mere moments, as a person already doomed to immortality, and she wanted them to spite but also to use against John, someone we can safely call eternal.

So! Next up, we have Nigella gaining the title Saint of Temperance from Jod, versus the juxtaposing Gluttony. How is Cassiopeia gluttonous? Admittedly, I don't have a lot of basis on this one, but I'll vaguely wave my hand at Teacher’s whole deal and also sorta in the direction of Cassiopeia being mentioned as the only one of the Lyctor’s who could be relied upon to make a well cooked meal (despite the occasional severed fingers in food). Gluttony is classified as the overindulgence of something – initially they were talking solely about food, but in more modern interpretations this can also be interpreted to include material possessions as well – and even more specifically, the overindulgence of something, without care or guilt. St Thomas Aquinas asserted that Gluttony hinged on the sinner’s innate longing for that which they overindulge, therefore connecting the synonymous relationship between Temperance and Gluttony - Gluttony is a lack of restraint, where Temperance is moderation. I’ll now vaguely wave a hand at the break clause again, (“Cassiopeia the First left us instructions years ago,” said Camilla. “We left for a Lyctor.” … Pyrrha said, “Cassy played long games.” - pg. 293, NtN); C– going AWOL from the stakeholders and doing all the legal bullshittery for the cryo team as freelance early on, Cassiopeia’s ceramics collection, and so on.

Next up is Titania as the Saint of Chastity, versus Ulysses embodying the sin of Lust. Because we know very little about them post-Resurrection, and what we know of them pre-Resurrection is…inconclusive, this is probably my most weakly argued point, but bear with me, alright? Chastity as a virtue is a pretty close-minded concept nowadays (which lines up pretty well with Lust being the least serious of the seven sins) – Chastity is almost synonymous with celibacy, as it refers almost exclusively to refraining from any and all sexual activity, in Catholicism specifically prior to marriage. The broadest and least damning-of-sexual-exploration-and-freedom quote I could find on the matter is this: “By attaining mastery over one's passions, reason, will, and desire can harmoniously work together to do what is good,” which is paraphrasing a passage from the “Catechism of the Catholic Church”. As far as Chastity being a good Saintly title goes (so, kinda not; hope if this was John’s basis he picked a better synonym), it should hopefully fall under that kind of definition, rather than “celibacy is good for the soul” but that’s a whole other argument. In terms of the counterpoint, Lust, I want to touch on the concept of this sin often being perceived as the least serious of the seven sins. Lust is classified as the sin of desire— which is often translated to fornication, impure thoughts and actions, sexual misconduct, etc. but what is lost in this translation is that the desire is not for material possessions or of successes like Envy, Greed, and Gluttony are, but moreso (as per Dante Alighieri) the desire or “disordered” love for individuals. Therefore, Titania and Ulysses – who in NtN are literally John’s first constructs; lacking souls, consciousnesses, and motivations of their own; named for a Shakespearean Fae queen and a beloved old dog; loved as not just the proof of concept but the only ones of John’s friends who never questioned him – would of course succumb to the sin of desiring individuals (and, furthermore, individuality). There’s a distinction made in the religious definition of Lust, specifically that there’s a difference between Lust and passion – with passion being more morally acceptable, especially in terms of how it pertains to how one might practice their religion and the depth and weight of one's faith in their religion, meaning that Lust is not just the lack of restraint in ones passions, but the lack of restraint and perhaps lack of true emotion in the desire. In comparison, post-Resurrection, we really don’t have much information on their stories or characteristics, what they looked like, their relationship to one another, or even their personalities besides Ulysses’ tendency to engage the other Lyctor’s in spontaneous orgies. We know they were obviously alive this time around, since the other Saints would have noticed if they were constructs, but what does this mean for their souls? Did John pick them at random, or did he somehow recall the real souls of Titania and Ulysses’ bodies? Would it matter either way, which one it was? If he did recall the souls originally belonging to the bodies of Titania and Ulysses, would he tell them the truth the way he told Augustine and Mercy what happened before the Resurrection? Would they be able to recall some of it either way, the way Pyrrha seems to recall her life pre-Resurrection, and would this impact how they interact with John and the rest of the pre-Resurrection gang? And, most importantly, would this fuel Ulysses, after ascending, to seek out Lust in order to assert individuality? With all that in mind, I’m of the opinion that Lust and the corresponding virtue of Chastity work for them.

Lastly, Valancy as the Saint of Humility versus Cyrus embodying the sin of Pride. Humility, in specifically a religious context, is the recognition of one's relation to a deity (God, in Cyrus and Valancy’s case) and the subsequent submission to that deity. The idea is that through a lack of interest or preoccupation in yourself, you can come closer to and understand God better. In comparison to Pride, a sin which C.S. Lewis once referred to as the “anti-God” state, Humility is very like Charity, because it is selfless and it is modest. I find this interesting when put parallel with Cyrus and Valancy, as they’re one of the three pairs to be called to Canaan House that John didn’t know prior to the Resurrection. They wouldn’t even have the vague notion of familiarity the others would, and that must have felt a little isolating, to see John as a God, where the pre-res gang at least saw him as a friend as well. This is why I argue that Valancy could be given the Saintly title of Humility – if she projected that sense of reverence and a significantly more subservient outlook into interactions around or with John, that might have been how he perceived her. In terms of Pride, though, we can easily refer back to the nude portraits they apparently painted fo each other; Valancy’s elaborate wardrobe that Cyrus had transported in its entirety to the Mithraeum following his ascension; and the note in HtN’s pronunciation guide that reads, “...what set Valancy and her necromancer, Cyrus, apart was their sweet mutual shoring up of each other’s belief that they were the most attractive people ever to have been born, which is not a classical cavalier-adept virtue.” Interestingly, Pride is considered the father of the deadly sins, feeding into each, which might make it seem like too important a sin to be given to Cyrus, of whom we know very little about. For this theory/thinkpiece, I’ll let them have it, but it would be interesting to explore the idea of perhaps John and Alecto in terms of the religious definition of Pride and the way they both seem to view the Resurrection.

Now, you might be thinking, sure okay, I see where you’re coming from, fun theory, but what about Anastasia? Oh, you mean the one person who came the closest to achieving “perfect” Lyctorhood, falling short because of John’s intervention, sent to guard the Tomb until her death, living on as a revenant within the Tomb? Coming so close to perceived success, only to then lose someone you trust implicitly and who trusts you the same, not to mention all of this happening in front of your God? In HtN John even says of Anastasia, “After we—cleaned up—she asked me if I might end her life. Of course I said no. She had so much more to give. Later I would ask of her a greater and more terrible thing.” (- pg. 182, HtN), which states quite loudly what level of regard she held herself in following her failed ascension and Samael’s death. With that in mind, I now present to you the oft forgotten, long discarded, eighth capital sin: Despair (also referred to as “sorrow” and “dejection”). Anastasia, whose life became a mausoleum, whose home became a niche; whose life was reduced to that of an honoured name with no honoured memory, haunting the narrative in her absence, much like Gideon. Anastasia, who had a vow sworn to her by Alecto, one that seemingly put her into Anastasia’s service to succeed her deceased cavalier; whose bloodline then produced Harrowhark, the Tombkeeper that rolled the rock away at ten years-old, intending to die. Tell me more of sorrow! Tell me more of woe! Anastasia as the Saint of Despair just makes sense to me.

(“Okay but what about Ianthe? The Saint of Awe!” To that I say, “idk, Jod was drunk and depressed and not interested in being clever abt catholicism.�� If anyone has any better answer feel free to give them, I’d love to hear them.)

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psylunari · 2 years

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Comments: thoughts, types, how-tos, and etiquette (part 2 of 4)

This is better read sequentially, but you can skip to any section. They are as numbered:

1) The basics

2) Thoughts on comment culture

3) Types of comments

4) Writing cohesive and coherent comments

5) Etiquette

6) Technical questions

7) Short-answer questions

8) Long-answer questions

Part 1: Sections 1 and 2.

Part 2: Sections 3 and 4 (you are here).

Part 3: Sections 5 and 6.

Part 4: Sections 7 and 8.

PDF version here, containing the whole thing. It has a table of contents and cute formatting.

♥ 3: Types of comments ♥

Comments are detailed below with a description and examples. I wrote all the examples. They might be based on comments I’ve seen, but aren’t real ones left by readers.

3.1 Emojis, keysmashes, second kudos, and not-so-verbal comments

Usually short. Might be hard to make heads or tails of them. If it’s all emojis/kaomojis, the comment is likely trying to express the reader’s emotions. The keysmash is internet “slang” for speechless or at a loss for words, but strong feelings about the thing, often positive. Second kudos are also emojis, but heart emojis, imitating the kudos/favorite button.

Example(s):

“😭😭😭😭😭😭” “ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ” “skjhgsdkfljgsdlkgfsjdh” “❤️” “!!!?????!!!!??????”

3.2 Short positive comments

One or two sentences expressing appreciation about the whole fic or some aspect of it.

Example(s):

“Loved it, thanks for sharing!” “This chapter is everything. Good to see this pairing more often in the fandom.”

3.3 Medium and long positive comments

Longer than the previous ones. Might delve into detailed opinions, quote the fic back to the author, and contain a deeper analysis of something.

Example(s):

“I’ve been reading this fic since day one. The writing is stellar and the characterization is on point. It’s good to see things getting finally resolved. Those two deserve peace and quiet in each other’s arms, after all.” “Ok, so it’s 3 am and I totally should be sleeping. My finals start tomorrow, and I was scribbling a few notes for an assignment, but I couldn’t resist this update. 5k words? How come?? The plot twist was SOMETHING ELSE. I don’t wanna spoil the other readers who might see this, so take my word for it and GO READ. When we thought we were done getting into her flashbacks, we get THAT. OH MY GOD. What will be of me until the next update? (probably a sleepless mess because broke college student juggling two jobs) LOL see you anytime, your writing is a blessing to this world.”

3.4 Constructive criticism (concrit)

Concrit points out flaws in whatever the reader can find them, and provides ways to improve the fic. Ideally, it’s a polite, considerate comment, but might not be.

Example(s):

“While I love the premise, worldbuilding, and first act, I think it’s a bit dragged out from chapter 5 onwards. Stories like yours could use faster pacing and less domesticity. If you trim the less relevant scenes and turn them into extras (maybe posted as one-shots in a series), it’ll flow a lot better. Also, be sure to use a spellchecker. English is hard. I know you’re not a native speaker, so that’s why I’m suggesting it. This fic will be a hit, you just have to polish it, to make it shine its brightest. HMU if you need help, and good luck!”

3.5 Pure criticism

Simply state an opinion, not ways to improve. Ideally, it’s polite, but might not be.

Example(s):

“It reads very amateurish, repeats many clichés from the fandom, and the characterization is off. I was in for the tags, ends up it’s not great.”

3.6 Hate/harassment, demanding updates, unwanted comments

Comments that try to bring the author down, attack them, demand faster updates, are impolite in general, or outright creepy. Might contain swear words and threats.

Example(s):

“lol this fic is trash, don’t waste your time” “I bet you live in your mom’s basement to this day and will never get a girlfriend” “Why don’t you post the next chapter already? It’s been a month. We’re all waiting” “Ugh, such disgusting content, what to expect from shippers of that pairing?” “Write even one more chapter, and I’ll doxx you” “Quick question, do you have an OnlyFans?”

3.7 Requests/prompts

Ask if the author could write a specific thing or suggests ideas for a fic.

Example(s):

“Could you write more one-shots of them? I need this pairing in my life.” “Put them all in a high fantasy AU, each one from a different race, competing for the throne. Three parts minimum. It’ll be awesome in your style and I want to see it.”

♥ 4: Writing cohesive and coherent comments ♥

AKA “I don’t know how to write X type of comment, help me”.

If you need further help, check the Long Live Feedback (LLF) Comment Builder.

4.1 Types I’m not going to cover and why

I’m not going to teach you how to write “pure criticism” and “hate/harassment” comments. Section 3 had a guide on identifying them, not encouragement to write it.

Pure criticism can be “an opinion”. Sure, “critic” is a job, like film critics, book critics, etc. There’s also such a thing as a nice opinion. However, I’d like to keep it positive. I don’t want to teach you how to tear a fic down without teaching you how to tell the author ways to do better. It might scare people away from fandom, especially newbies and/or insecure writers. Avoid criticizing total strangers (do it to friends who take it well, and it’s none of my business). You don’t know who’s behind the screen and the hardships they’re facing. Be kind.

I don’t need to go into detail about why teaching how to bully and harass others online is a bad idea. It’s unavoidable to come across hate comments on the internet. Anonymity makes people think they’re free to say as they please. Be the change the world needs to see.

If you do end up spreading hate online, I hope you face consequences, learn from your mistakes, quit doing it, and find something healthier to pass the time.

4.2 Not-so-verbal comments (emojis, keysmashes, second kudos…)

Emojis/kaomojis: send the ones that best represent your emotions.

Keysmash: type lots of incoherent letters without any words.

Second kudos: send heart emojis, maybe with “second kudos!” written as well.

4.3 Short positive comments

“Loved it!” or “great/amazing fic!” are fail-proof. You can also add “thanks for sharing”, “Love this [ship/plot/trope/other]”, “your style is great”, and other things you can think.

4.4 Medium and long positive comments

You can open comments with things like:

What you were doing when you found the fic (at school/work? procrastinating? looking for a rarepair? looking for a specific tag/theme?);

What time of the day it was;

Stating if you’re a newcomer to their works or not;

Other things you can think of.

There are a few things you can praise:

Writing style;

Characterization/development;

Plot;

Pacing;

Dialogue;

Being engaging;

Being original;

Other things you can think of.

You can proceed with:

Quoting your favorite lines of the fic;

Mentioning if you usually read that type of fic or not;

Saying if a scene made you cry/laugh;

Saying if a scene will stick with you for a while;

If it’s your favorite fic of that pairing/tag/theme;

If it’s your favorite fic of that fandom;

If it’s your favorite fic ever;

Other things you can think of.

4.5 Constructive criticism (concrit)

This one needs a little more structuring.

Create a document somewhere. Google Docs, Word, Notes app, etc.;

List strengths. Writing style? Characterization? Plot? Character development? Pacing? Dialogue? Spelling, punctuation, grammar? Being engaging? Being original? Others?;

List weaknesses. Same list as above;

Try to come up with ways the author could improve on the weaknesses. Grammar and the like? Spellcheckers. The plot structure is on the weaker side? Studying storytelling and structure. Robotic dialogue? Paying attention to real conversations, and so on;

Then, use a model like this if you want:

[These are all the things that I think are good, and don’t need to change.] [Next, these are the things I think need more work.] [These are ways they can do it better, and solutions for the problems I found.] [Here, you wish the best of luck to them, reassure them you’re doing it out of liking the fic, and state your intention to help them if they need it again.] [If they need further feedback, and you’re willing to do it, leave your contact info.]

4.6 Requests/prompts

If the author hasn’t stated publicly that they take requests/fill prompts, don’t send them uninvited. Always ask first. If they respond positively, proceed. If they don’t, it’s nothing personal. Some aren’t good with prompts or have no time/desire to write them.

Some authors provide sheets for requests or list things they will/won’t write. If there is a sheet, fill it out and send it. If they don't write something, don’t insist they do.

If it’s a request, be polite and non-demanding. Phrase it like “could you write this?” or “would you be open to writing that?”. Never “5k fic of this/that character doing this, ready by tomorrow night”, you’re not their boss. Preferably, thank them for their time and effort.

If it’s a prompt, provide enough information, not too much information. Don’t go overboard on details: the author won’t be able to elaborate with their personal touch. You’re asking them specifically to write it, so in theory, you want their take, not just your ideas.

If you want a specific thing to be out of the fic, state it, especially if there’s a chance the author could add it because it’d fit the context. For example, in a car accident prompt, someone dying isn’t out of place. Don’t want any deaths? Tell them.

An example of a weak prompt:

“Write a one-shot about Main Character.”

An example of a well-rounded prompt:

“Three years after canon ends, Main Character and Side Character #1 see Character Dead in Canon walking on the street on a Friday night. Character Dead in Canon didn’t seem to notice them, then entered the most suspicious nightclub. No smut/incest, please.”

An example of a too-detailed prompt:

“What if Main Character woke up, checked their phone, and there is a text message demanding they get to work at 7:35 am? Their former boss requested they deal with this, this, and this activity they used to do. However, they’ve been retired for years, since they were deemed unfit to work. Thing is, their boss has a miracle solution for the health issue they’re facing, but their boss isn’t going to tell them about the solution until they arrive at the office. I’d like it to be 30k words minimum, it should include spicy scenes here and there, but nothing explicit. Their car should be red. Their cat is a Maine Coon named Salt. They are dating me specifically. I am 165 cm tall, my weight is 60 kg…”

Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4 are waiting for you.

#archive of our own #ao3 #fanfiction.net #ffn #wattpad #fanfiction #fanfiction tips #fandom etiquette #feedback #comments #comment culture #psyluna.txt

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appleflavoredkitkats · 3 years

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Analysis of the “Fundy’s Mind” Stream: A Showcase of Repressed Memories and Repressed Insecurities

i. INTRODUCTION

Hi! This is going to be… something. Funny how I focus on this rather than my research homework, but I have a MASSIVE Fundy brain rot right now and I’d love to share my thoughts on Fundy’s newest stream. Fair warning, I am not the Messiah, so don’t take everything as fact. I’m open to constructive and objective discussions in replies or in DM’s, so feel free to hmu!

All of this is /dsmp and /rp by the way!

Heavy trigger warnings for derealization, parental neglect, neglect in general, self-deprecation, self-neglect, low self-esteem, death, manipulation, abandonment, loneliness, trust issues, torture mention, blood mention, and broken friendships.

Word Count: Approximately 10k.

ii. PRE-LIVESTREAM ASPECTS

Before we begin deep diving into the mind of Fundy, I do want to emphasize two major themes of this stream: 1.) Fundy’s insecurities, especially when it comes to abandonment and trust, and 2.) Fundy’s future predicting abilities. A ton (but not all) of statements uttered by the books and Fundy himself tend to have double meanings that apply to both of these themes.

We can further discuss the future predicting powers later, but to give a little background on Fundy’s insecurities: Fundy is notorious for heavily depending his self-worth on the recognition other people give him. Despite his immaturity, a lot of Fundy’s character is rooted in being heavily underestimated. This could be observed during the Pet Wars when his safety was constantly being threatened by Sapnap, inevitably making him lose a duel against him. Another way we can see this is through Wilbur’s early treatment of Fundy where he constantly infantilized him because Wilbur believed Fundy was a child incapable of being independent. This caused Fundy to appeal a lot to any type of compliment from any person- it began with Quackity ensuring him that he will gift him a lot of cookies if he votes SWAG2020, then to Schlatt complimenting him to the point that Fundy almost gave up on spying and siding with Pogtopia, then to the Butcher Army where he unhesitantly followed Tubbo and Quackity’s lead no matter how many times they made fun of him. While he revels in any type of recognition given, oftentimes, those who seem to care for Fundy tend to leave after he grows attached to them; first with Wilbur, then Niki, then Schlatt, then Eret and Phil, then Tubbo, Ranboo, and Quackity. In the Dream SMP, Fundy is very lonely and has dealt with abandonment issues left and right, but typically, he never does anything with his loneliness, as the last time he lashed out against someone who left him, nothing positive really came out of it (this is when he got mad at Ghostbur).

(Everything else is under the cut! I worked so hard on this, so please read it if you can, it’d mean a lot!)

So, with all that laid out, I want you to keep this all in mind as it is important for understanding why Fundy feels the way he does in the stream.

Now, let’s begin the analysis. First off, I believe it is important to denote the title and the tags of the stream. The stream is titled “Fundy’s Mind”, so we have to denote that this isn’t merely a dream sequence- the stream is meant to explore the complexity of Fundy’s mind. This includes his thoughts, insecurities, repressed memories, and so on and so forth. Additionally, the stream is tagged “Permadeath”, something different from what Fundy typically tags his streams. There is no clear explanation as to what this could mean, but the possibilities are:

It is hinting that the death system in the Dream SMP could be rigged, and someone is messing with the semantics of death and how it works.

It is hinting that someone will face a permanent death, and most fingers are pointed at Fundy as this is his stream. If not a permanent death, he might at least lose one of his canon lives which was hinted later on in the stream (will discuss later).

It is hinting that he was killed by the end of the dream. Not really a solid theory as we don’t actually know the repercussions of killing someone who is actively dreaming, but it is a possibility.

iii. PROLOGUE

A thing to question at the beginning of the stream is if the entire introduction was part of the dream or not. Seeing how Fundy has the same inventory from this to the next scene, it is plausible, but I don’t think it provides anything if it were a dream.

Anyway, other things to denote are Fundy’s hotbar! First noticeable thing would be the 38 baked potatoes. The website angelnumber.org explains that 38 means:

“The combination of these two numbers makes the number 38 a number which signifies joy and optimism, courage, finding creative ways to materialize abundance, reality, etc.

The essence of the number 38 in numerology are different kind of relationships, such as romantic ones, business partnerships, teamwork, cooperation, diplomacy, etc.

Number 38 people have a talent for dealing with people in a caring and creative way. They are born team-workers. They need interaction with other people to fully enjoy their lives. They are usually optimistic and have a gift of inspiring others to action.”

So far, the number 38 is viewed to be positive. It signifies financial success and cooperativeness, which is interesting if Fundy’s future arc potentially ties to working with Quackity. To further add onto symbolisms regarding success, dreamastromeanings.com says the following:

“If you dreamed of baking or roasting potatoes, that dream is a good sign. It usually indicates your finances increasing over time.

Possibly you have made some investments and now you are beginning to reap the fruits of your efforts and risky activities.”

or,

“If you dreamed of holding a potato in your hand, that dream is a bit of a warning. You might soon receive some lucrative opportunity, possibly work related.

It is advisable to think fast and accept it because you might not get a second chance.

It could also indicate that you are a bit lazy when it comes to taking chances and missing opportunities because of that.”

Both explanations refer to business opportunities and possible investments. If we combine both the explanation for the number 38 and carrying potatoes, we can assume that Fundy will be receiving a business opportunity that would be too good to miss. These explanations also imply that nothing too negative would occur, but instead, Fundy can achieve success through this business opportunity. The only arcs in the Dream SMP which I think could provide a business opportunity would either be 1.) a new warden at the prison, 2.) new member at Snowchester (low odds), but the most likely occurrence would be 3.) Quackity offers him a position at Las Nevadas. With the Quackity smiley face at the end of Fundy’s stream, we can safely believe that the job opportunity at Las Nevadas would be the most likely occurrence.

Another explanation for this is that because the 38 potatoes were brought from the seemingly real world, it could possibly pertain to something that had already happened in the past. This could possibly allude to L’Manberg, especially when the explanations behind 38 potatoes are presented to be more positive, something the current Las Nevadas arc isn’t.

Second thing to notice about the hotbar: Fundy is currently at level 5, with his EXP bar 1/18 filled. To reach level 5, one has to gain 55 EXP, and to reach level 6, one would need to gain an extra 17 EXP. If the bar is merely 1/18 filled, 1/18 of 17 would be 0.94, which when rounded off, is 1. Add 1 to the extra 55, and we would approximately get 56 EXP. The website angelnumber.org says the following:

“The number 56 symbolizes teamwork, coexistence, family, relationships, adventure and expression of freedom.

Number 56 people have diverse interests, some of which they have an in-depth knowledge of and some just general understanding.

They try different approaches in relationships, trying to keep them alive. If everything they’ve tried fails, they simply walk to another relationship.”

This could mean a lot of things. The second sentence could imply that Fundy doesn’t fully comprehend the complexity of his mind. Some parts, he may understand, some, he does not at all. This could imply that there are also more secrets hiding in his mind that we couldn’t get to see. The third sentence is more interesting as Fundy’s entire character arc involves him and his broken relationships with other people. It’s a quite accurate description of Fundy, describing how he desperately tries anything to make a relationship work, and if it fails, he could easily befriend other people even if there is a possibility that that relationship would fail like the previous.

If we ignore the number of EXP, we can merely focus on the number 5, which means the following:

“When angels are sending you number 5, they want to encourage you to have hope and to be ready to accept all the changes that are coming. Also, if number 5 has appeared just at the moment when you have been thinking about something important in your life, this number could be the answer or the solution for your problems. You should pay attention to number 5 and think of its secret meanings.

If number 5 keeps appearing by your side, it means that changes are already happening in your life. If they have not happened yet, don’t worry. They are on the way and you will feel them in the next couple of days or weeks.”

This can be connected to both the EXP number and the stream as a whole as Fundy begins to accept the gravity of his abandonment issues instead of suppressing his negative feelings towards it. Throughout the stream, Fundy is shown rejecting the idea that he is being neglected by others, but by the second half of the stream, he rejects it less and less. This could be the change the explanation is referring to as Fundy realizing his negative feelings towards his abandonment issues are valid and he needs to take them more seriously rather than brushing them aside.

With number symbolisms finally aside, we can begin analyzing the actual sequences! Fundy is seen to be approaching his “Not A Secret” Base with a sigh, asking chat if they can go to sleep so that he can go to sleep too. Fundy immediately doubts the possibility of the others in the server following through his request until Ranboo responds with a simple “okay” while Niki responds with “yiss, am asleep”. Fundy quickly flashes the members list on the screen, showing us that only Niki and Ranboo are online on the server before he showcases his new bed, claiming that he likes it.

Two interesting notes about this: 1.) he decides to sleep, which is odd enough in the Dream SMP, and 2.) him having three new beds despite only using one of them. For the first point, I’d like to refer you to what Fundy said at around 26:08:

“I just gotta sleep and then, it’s gonna disappear! And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’, and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys…! You’re always pranking me, you’ve always been there for me. Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most.’ I just go to bed, I just go to bed, and none of this ever happened.”

While I understand that he is referring to the dream, I also believe that this statement would be one of those types I mentioned earlier that may have a double meaning. While “I just go to bed,” could refer to him wanting to sleep and wake up from this horrific dream, it could also refer to how he easily shuts down to his abandonment issues and goes to bed instead of handling it head first. Knowing this, him going to bed in the first scene could imply that he is in this type of abandonment predicament, especially when we connect it to the second point. The color orange is meant to represent joy and warmth, and even without the symbolism, we all know orange is Fundy’s favorite color. He sees these three beds and says that he likes them, but I can’t help but feel like the other two beds are meant for two other people. I don’t think Niki and Ranboo being the only other two people on the server is coincidental; they have to relate to the two extra beds in some way.

Niki and Ranboo are two prime examples of close friends Fundy had before breaking off after a misunderstanding. Niki fought with Fundy after he had to burn the flag she made in order to gain Schlatt’s trust, while Fundy fought with Ranboo after Doomsday when they had conflicting beliefs about neutrality and sides. After both incidents, Fundy never really made his way to apologize, but Fundy has awkwardly met up with these two after a certain point. With Niki, he was forced to team with her at the beginning of the November 16th War, joking around with her and Eret, while for Ranboo, Fundy had to talk to him and Philza when they were joking around in the SMP. The meet ups definitely relieved some tension, but it never fully resolved the conflict Fundy had with both characters, so there was never a chance for him to rekindle the close bonds he had with both Ranboo and Niki in the past.

Fundy going to his favorite beds with two extra spots next to him could represent how he does cherish the friendships he shared with Niki and Ranboo, but never has the guts to actually bring back things the way that they were before. So, instead, Fundy sleeps, not wanting to think about them any further.

iv. FIRST DAY

When he wakes, Fundy checks his inventory before exiting his base, saying “Uhm, I don’t actually-” until he cuts himself off once he spots the desert. I don’t actually know what Fundy was supposed to say here, but because he checked his inventory beforehand, I believe he was trying to say “I don’t actually know where my things are,” but I could be wrong. To be fair, this isn’t too important, so we don’t have to focus on that. What we can focus on is the misplaced desert that was obviously not there before Fundy slept. We can easily infer what deserts could symbolize in dreams, especially when it comes to loneliness and the feeling of being deserted, but for better insight, consider what dreamstop.com claims about deserts:

“A dream of a desert is about something that is devoid of any feelings or care for you. It is all about them and nothing about you. Does someone show you a lack of respect? Is there someone or something in your life you dislike and adds no meaning to your life? Do you feel invisible? That no-one cares about you? Deserts represent an empty, barren place you may be trying to fill.

Desert dreams may appear when a relationship or friendship breaks down, or when you feel totally alone. You may have moved recently and have not yet made friends. You may feel homesick for all you left behind.

Being lost in a desert refers to your feelings that a situation is hopeless. You may have a problem you feel no-one cares about, even though you tried to reach out. You may feel there was no support and are feeling hurt and alone.”

You don’t need much analyzing to connect these meanings to what Fundy is experiencing. The setting of a “desert” merely pads the idea of Fundy being incredibly lonely to the point of him believing that he has nothing left to lose. Back in Doomsday, he was an optimistic nihilist, claiming that he doesn’t care much about what occurs from this point onwards as long as he can have a little bit of fun. On the stream where he created the Cube, he claimed that most people hated him anyway, so the least he could do was to make himself so hateable so other people could unite together in their hatred of Fundy even if it meant Fundy would have no companions left. Let it be known: Fundy is incredibly, incredibly lonely, and he is miserable in his loneliness, especially when his self-worth depends on how much people recognize him.

Another thing this desert could be eluding to would be Las Nevadas as it is set in the desert. I do think the desert’s main purpose is to showcase Fundy’s loneliness, but the connection to Las Nevadas is plausible.

Additionally, the dark skies Fundy sees doesn’t really need much of an explanation either. I couldn’t find a website exactly defining what it means to find a dark sky, but most of them speak of it as a negative thing, often symbolizing something terrible to come. I don’t think I need to explain that part, so we’re moving on.

Fundy is, understandably, very confused about this entire predicament. He quickly moves around his base to figure out what is going on, even messaging in chat to see if anyone would respond. Climbing up the ladders, he stands atop his base, spotting the silhouette of the Camarvan from afar. He continues to be confused, claiming he has no idea why he’s here in the first place. He claims he is “freaking out”, continuing to ask questions about where he is, and why the sky turns dark. He denotes that he isn’t at least completely alone as bunnies swarm around the desert. He begins to follow this sandstone path, every few blocks or so passing a fence with a torch stood atop it.

Here, we can infer that Fundy seems to have never seen this place before, or has no recollection of it entirely. Fundy doesn’t seem to be immensely freaked out just yet, especially since he hasn’t asked any questions about how no one is there, mostly focusing on his location and asking what the place is about.

Fundy then asks why the van is here, then zooms in on the nametags he sees at the back of the van. It is notable that something nametagged “Fundy” is shorter than another thing that is nametagged “WilburSoot”. Fundy tries to reach out for them but is unable to enter the van.

We can easily infer that this scene was meant to represent Fundy’s childhood in L’Manberg when he was being taken care of by Wilbur. Despite the lack of silhouettes, we can easily determine that Fundy is young in this scene because of how his nametag is in a much lower position next to Wilbur's, implying that whoever owns that nametag is much shorter. We can denote that by the beginning of the L’Manbergian Revolutionary War, Fundy was, in fact, a child.

Another question some of you might ask: why is the Camarvan here in the first place? While I believe it could be representative of the part of Fundy’s mind that tackles past memories, I do think it also serves another purpose which I will explain later.

Moving on to the next scenes, Fundy continues following the sandstone path while typing in chat, asking if anyone was actually there. He gets confused by the path for a moment, wanting to go to the ominous building, before realizing that the path does connect to the building, it just swerves a little to the left.

It is notable that when Fundy cried out for help, he doesn’t call for a name in specific- he calls out for ANYONE. The fact that he is calling out for “anyone” could denote that he doesn’t have any close friends or family members he would want to specifically call out for.

Continuing on, Fundy follows the path to the building, still very immensely confused about where he is. Opening the door, he sees that the inside descends into an underground room with its flooring made out of chiseled quartz blocks. Fundy gets scared at first, immediately closing the door, looking back in, and going back out once more.

Fundy denotes that there is absolutely nothing out here as he walks around the building. He then gains the courage to descend the staircase, wondering what it is, and at the bottom, there are a lot of misplaced sandstone blocks with small lights illuminating at certain corners. The path leads to the left, showing 10 pieces of red carpet on the floor, and 8 pieces of yellow carpet on the table. He approaches the wooden table before looking to his right, spotting a skull on the floor next to a piece of redstone, which I believe is meant to resemble blood.

I don’t think we really need to research a skull to check what it might represent, but my theory so far as to what the skulls mean in each building would be that it’s meant to represent Fundy losing a canon life. I don’t know if this was intentional, but the corner room where the skull is somewhat reminds me of the Final Control Room with the redstone in the middle representing the button. That is, after all, where Fundy lost his first canon life.

One of the theories I subscribe to is that the skulls in these buildings are meant to foreshadow Fundy’s death before he ever reaches it. Earlier in the day, we saw Fundy pass by the Camarvan with a younger Fundy which could possibly imply that they haven’t gotten to Eret’s betrayal yet, but the skull creeping up at the corner could represent that it is, in fact, coming. How this ties in to the entire future predicting thing, I will explain later, but for now, keep an eye out on the skulls.

Terrified of the skull, Fundy opens the chest and hesitantly picks up the book and quill inside of it. He opens it and is introduced to another Fundy writing to himself. Other Fundy claims that they’re not exactly the same person, but this Fundy is a part of the real Fundy. Other Fundy claims that Fundy cannot trust this place as it is not real, then begins saying that Fundy himself is not real repeatedly. Fundy’s heart rate suddenly increases when he sees the words “wake up” appear slowly in the book, and after page 34 is shown, Fundy wakes up to a new day in the dream world.

First thing to denote is that the book has 87 pages, and 87, according to affinitynumerology.com means as follows:

“The numerology number 87 is a number of family, organization, and prosperity.

It's also a number of harmony and idealism, the ideal generally related to a harmonious and prosperous family relationship.

87 has parental instincts. It assumes responsibility for the welfare of others it considers to be family.”

The explanation implies that Fundy longs for family and cares deeply for those who he considers as his family. As much as he hated Wilbur after he died, Fundy still continuously expressed how much he needed Wilbur to be there. He is absolutely attached to anyone who poses as a possible family member, especially to those who he views as parents or guardians. Even outside of Wilbur, he is still practically attached to Phil, even if Phil refuses to consider Fundy as family. Fundy also got immensely angered by Eret when she didn’t show up to sign his adoption papers. I’d even say his attachment to family would even reach people like Sally and Schlatt. Fundy has a tendency of casually talking about Sally, and whenever a character talks about eating salmon, Fundy becomes deeply offended. For Schlatt, Fundy kept Schlatt’s netherite sword after he died, considering it to be an “heirloom”, something that only gets passed down onto different generations of the same family. Fundy is incredibly attached to the sword, and whenever he loses it, he’s absolutely desperate to get it back. As much as Fundy gets abandoned, he still deeply appreciates a lot of his family.

87 is also very reminiscent of one of the books in the Inbetween. A lot of the phrasing in the books are actually quite similar to the Inbetween, but we aren’t sure if Fundy and the Inbetween are directly affecting each other or if these places merely work in similar ways. The main similarity between Fundy and the Inbetween is that it involves something related to time travelling, so the similarities could be pointing towards that rather than imply that Fundy is directly affecting the Inbetween all together.

Secondly, the book stops at Page 34. The website angelnumbers.org express the following:

"Most likely you are leaving your projects unfinished because of fear for their destiny after you finish them.

Will they be rejected or accepted by others?

Because you would rather not find out that and possibly have your ego hurt, you consciously or subconsciously sabotage your work and leave things unfinished.

When this number starts appearing in your life frequently, it is a reminder to acknowledge you have a problem and start dealing with it.”

This is very reminiscent of the paragraph I made earlier discussing Fundy’s relationship with Ranboo and Niki- and this could honestly apply to any other relationships Fundy has as well. Besides Fundy’s relationships, this explanation could apply to Fundy’s hesitance of finding out the truth of his mind. Earlier on in the streams, Fundy is immensely confused about the dream, not wanting to discover its truths at all. This eventually changes on the third day, but we’ll discuss that in a bit.

Another thing I’d like to discuss would be the identity of the book authors and why they wrote the books the way they did. I’ll explain about this more in-depth later, but I do believe that another Fundy is, indeed, writing these books. As this was set in Fundy’s mind, it’s quite impossible for anyone who isn’t Fundy to be meddling with the books. What we can denote, though, is the reason as to why these books were created in the first place. The book itself seems to be harmless at first, quite inviting towards Fundy in the first few pages, but once it had to introduce what this world is, it seemed to hesitate. There were a couple of disjointed pages, as well as blank pages, before it began claiming the world wasn’t real, and that Fundy wasn’t real. It turned a complete 180, which seemed to be very odd to me. In past events of the Dream SMP, derealizing statements like this tend to be tricks of the mind, but these statements seem to be intentionally put there by those who wrote the book, especially since later on, we see another book completely give up on saying these triggering statements, saying that “It’s not going to work.” (32:05).

What this implies is that whoever placed these statements are attempting to scare Fundy in some way, possibly heightening his insecurities and terror so that he can be truly terrified of the place. The constant statements of “you are not real” may not only refer to the Other Fundy trying to make Fundy spiral downwards in derealization, but it might actually represent how neglected Fundy feels to the point of feeling invisible, to the point of feeling that he “isn’t real”. But why is this Other Fundy trying to scare Fundy, and who, specifically, is the person behind the writings, you might ask? This question will be answered later on when we go more in-depth with the other books, as the bigger picture is very much needed instead of explaining it all by the first book.

v. SECOND DAY

Fundy wakes up in his base once more, evidently confused. We don’t really know why he wakes up in his base, and why the world changes every time he wakes up, but let’s just say this is all part of his dream to make sense out of it. This time, he sounds more broken, and definitely more unhinged. He calls out for any other member in the chat, telling them that whatever they’re doing is not funny. This is the first we see of Fundy believing that the others may actually just have been pulling a prank on him. He opens his chests frantically before venturing outside once more. He claims that he doesn’t believe the book, saying that this dream sequence feels pretty real to him.

This time, Fundy puts a bigger emphasis on asking why he is alone, and why nobody seems to be here with him. Fundy seems to be more shaken up by the idea that he’s alone over the idea that he does not know anything about where he is at all. He approaches the van, and when he zooms in, he sees that Wilbur’s nametag disappeared.

Transcript of this following scene:

“I knew you were there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no- you can’t fool me! No, I knew you were there Wil. You were there, right there! Where did you go? Are you being- he’s being funny. This is funny! This is great. Aw, this is amazing- it’s just a prank! It’s April Fools soon- that’s why! Oh, I’m just being pranked… right?”

Now, this was… sad. This is one of the other statements that could have a double meaning. Fundy insisting that Wilbur is supposed to be there could not only be him comparing this day to the previous, but it could also imply his true feelings towards Wilbur, especially since he’s disappeared for a good portion of Fundy’s life. Fundy believes Wilbur is supposed to be there for him, but the reality is that he wasn’t. Instead of facing reality, Fundy concludes that all of this was a harmless joke instead of believing that Wilbur might have possibly left him.

Fundy attempts to enter the van once more, but his attempt doesn’t work. He then follows the path on the side directing to the ominous building only for him to realize that it has gotten closer.

The building getting closer to the main base actually has a lot of symbolism behind it. The building itself stores a lot of secrets, especially when it comes to the truths about this world and the different insecurities Fundy has repressed. Those writing the books have laid out all these secrets in every single book found in this building. The fact that it’s underground is meant to represent that these secrets are meant to be hidden in the depths of Fundy’s mind, but the fact that the building is getting closer to the main base makes it feel like 1.) the stored secrets about this world that Fundy may have forgotten about might finally seep into his consciousness, making him aware of them next time he wakes up, and 2.) the insecurities Fundy repressed deep down are seeping out more and more as it reaches the main core. Once it’s there, Fundy won’t be able to reject the truth about his abandonment issues any longer.

Fundy nears the building, still quite nervous. He opens the door, and the layout of the inside seems to be slightly similar to the previous day, but there are small details here and there that are different. Instead of 10 red carpets, there are 6, and instead of 8 yellow carpets, there are 6. Additionally, the skull seems to be closer, this time directly next to the table.

While the carpets were quite subtle, I do think it symbolizes a certain decrease of something. Red symbolizes the color for passion and love, while yellow is meant to represent happiness and positivity. Earlier, we saw that Wilbur disappeared from the Carmarvan, so the decrease of rugs for each color could represent Fundy’s love and happiness decreasing.

For the skull itself, I don’t know if I’m right, but this is what I infer from it: On the first day, we saw that Wilbur was still standing next to Fundy in the Camarvan as the first skull underground was still very far away. On the second day, when Wilbur was gone, the skull got closer, standing next to the table instead of it being far away. I theorize that if the skull is closer, then a canon death has already occurred in the time period the day wants to present. The first day presents a time where Wilbur was still taking care of Fundy, so Eret’s betrayal may not have happened yet, hence why the skull merely stayed hidden at the corner. On the second day, Wilbur has actively left Fundy, similar to the period after L’Manberg’s independence when Fundy had to partake in the Pet Wars alone. During that era, the betrayal has already happened, which is why I believe the skull is much closer this time.

Continuing on, Fundy opens the book and begins reading. From this point onwards, I do want to go more in depth with each of the books, so I’ll put transcripts here and there with my thoughts added onto it after each transcript.

“Hi me!

Welcome back!

Yeahh, second time here? or third?

not entirely sure”

So, this is confirmation that this might not be the first time Fundy’s having dreams like this. A good question to ask is if the book was written a long time ago and has presented itself the same way it does right now, or if this book was written recently. I don’t think the stream gave a definitive answer, but it is something to keep in mind.

“Listen to me Fundy

and you should trust me because,

well you know why

There are two things you can do right now

Walk back to your base, jump in bed, fall asleep, and you will wake up as if nothing ever happened

Or you can keep reading…

And I will tell you what I know”

The book pauses for a bit then continues saying “You are not real” ten times, “You dont want to know the truth” fifteen times, and spams “WAKE UP” until the 38th page, a number we analyzed earlier because of the 38 baked potatoes.

For the book itself, whoever is writing the book seems to be a bit hesitant when writing. It doesn’t seem to want to explain what this place truly is to Fundy, and as much as it clarifies that they are, indeed, Fundy, they never expound on how they were able to write these books and why Fundy should trust him. Other Fundy saying “you should trust me because, well you know why” is actually quite ominous, and I can only think of two reasons as to why they would say it: 1.) Other Fundy is implying that Fundy can trust him because he is, in fact, the same person, or 2.) Other Fundy is hinting that Fundy trusts too easily as seen with the people Fundy trusted in the real world.

Additionally, the Other Fundy seems to emphasize on the fact that they WANT Fundy to go to sleep and wake up in the overworld. They phrase it so that sleeping once more is the more logical option, while they basically scare Fundy with the other option, evident by his quickened heartbeat. The Other Fundy seems to know about the intricacies of this dream and its world, but seems to be very hesitant to tell Fundy about it. The continuous threats imply that the Other Fundy doesn’t want Fundy to know the truth at all.

Basically, this Other Fundy knows something, something our Fundy doesn’t know about, and wants to emphasize that it is something horrific. He will do whatever he can do so that he can stop Fundy from knowing the truth, even if it means he has to scare Fundy.

Additionally, to me, it feels like “WAKE UP” could possibly have two meanings. If the underground structure is meant to represent things that Fundy constantly represses to the back of his mind, not only would the secrets of his dream reside there, but his own repressed insecurities may reside there as well. The way Fundy treats the truth about his dreams is actually quite similar with the way he treats his insecurities- he tends to reject its existence and pretend that everything is normal. This dream isn’t just a dream, it’s an exploration of Fundy’s mind, and telling Fundy to “WAKE UP” doesn’t just refer to not knowing the truths about the dream, but it could also refer to Fundy not knowing the truths about his own insecurities hidden deep in the depths of his mind.

vi. THIRD DAY

Fundy wakes up, breathing heavily. He paces around his room before opening the door frantically, seeing that he is still stuck in a desert. He begins to laugh, repetitively telling himself that all of this is a “joke”. He continues questioning why he’s still in this dream, and when he opens the door, he sees the ominous structure observably closer to the base. He claims that he’s actually stressing out, and Fundy goes on a tangent about this dream and reveals a bit about his insecurities:

“They’re toying with me, they’re toying with me. They’re actually- everyone is toying with me- they are ALWAYS TOYING WITH ME. Everyone is! I’m always being played with. Why? Why always me- no! Why does it always have to be me? Every single time. I don’t wanna- (sigh). I don’t wanna keep dealing with this- I just wanna- no- do I just… Do I just… Do I just go up here and listen to- wai- okay. The book said I have two options: I can wait here until it’s night time. Wait until the sun sets and I can go to sleep, and when I go to sleep and wake up, none of this is real. None of this is gonna- it’s gonna disappear. None of this is real, none of this is real, none… It’s not real, it’s not real, I am currently not real, this is no- how is this possible? How is this- wha- how did- how… None of this is real. I am not real. All I have to do is wait for midnight and just sleep, and all of this would end, right? All I have to do is… wait until night time and then… it’s all gonna be over, it’s all gonna be done.

I just gotta sleep, and then, it’s gonna disappear. And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’ and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys! You’re always pranking me… you’ve always been there for me (sniffs). Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most. I just go to bed… I just go to bed, and then I wake up, and none of this ever happened. And we’re gonna go back to my old life where I have fun and join parties and join groups and only see them disappear in front of my eyes as I start to get attached to them. Y-yeah, that’s- that’s- that’s the choice I’m making. Go back to that... (sigh). Just… or you know…”

LOTS to unpack here, and I’ll go one by one explaining certain aspects of this because it’s not just something that showcases Fundy’s insecurities.

Firstly, interesting how Fundy believed that the book was toying with him like how a lot of other people do. That’s what makes him afraid of the book- the feeling of being pushed around. The book is actively trying to use Fundy’s insecurities against him in order to make him more and more afraid of the truth. This is interesting because Fundy is known to be ignorant towards his actual issues (just look at his monologue), but the Other Fundy seems to be acutely aware of them. I will explain why he is aware of them later on.

Secondly, this is the most observable point, Fundy seems to be aware that he is quite frankly, alone, but tends to ignore it. He copes with his abandonment issues by treating his abandonment like a joke. He believes that every single person who’s left him did it as a prank. Even if he laughs at this idea, he is also evidently hurt by it. It hits even harder when you realize that Fundy is quite the dependent character, often sucking up to any person who gives him recognition. If Fundy depends on others to dictate his self-worth, how do you think he thinks of himself right now when he literally has nobody?

Putting emphasis on Fundy’s loneliness is going to be interesting because I do think some characters in future arcs are going to exploit that. If Quackity is going to use and manipulate Fundy the same way Sam does, then there would be no doubt that he will use Fundy’s loneliness against him. Even if it’s not Quackity who approaches Fundy first- even Bad, Sam, Dream, anyone, really, could use Fundy’s loneliness against him, which will make for an interesting plot point.

Lastly, not a lot of people spotted this, but this monologue also gives us insight as to why Fundy continued looking for the truth about his dreams instead of staying in his base and waiting for night. When talking about what to look forward to once he wakes up, he talks about how much “fun” he is going to have. Slowly, you see his denial start to dwindle as he finally admits that people leave him just as he gets attached to them. As much as Fundy wanted to wake up from this horrific dream, he realizes that, once he wakes up, he has nothing to look forward to either. That’s why he hesitates when he says “Yeah, that’s the choice I’m making,” because he realizes waking up isn’t as ideal as it seems. This is why Fundy immediately goes outside afterwards with no hesitation- Fundy has nothing left to lose, hence why he chooses to venture forth. Fundy is driven to do things because he feels like his life is purposeless anyway.

Fundy then begins to head outside quietly, zooming into the ominous building while walking right towards it. He then detours for a moment, walking towards the right of the building, and approaches a giant crater filled with obsidian and blackstone.

The explosion could symbolize two things:

Any of the L’Manberg explosions. With the obsidian and blackstone combination, my guess is that this is either the first Doomsday event (L’Manbergian War of Independence) because of L’Manberg’s walls, or the November 16th War because of Schlatt’s Podium. Why the big amount of blackstone and obsidian? Well, I’m not so sure when it comes to L’Manberg as its walls didn’t have obsidian, but for the November 16th war, I do think that the abundance of blackstone and obsidian is meant to represent how Fundy is reducing the November 16th war to Schlatt’s Podium. This can be alarming as he was the one who made Schlatt’s Podium, so reducing the war to that one building might symbolize that he blames himself for the war.

Another theory, which is the theory I subscribe to more, is that this is actually depicting an event in the future that we haven’t seen yet. Namely, the prison. If you zoom in on the explosion, the block pattern is quite reminiscent of the block pattern present in the prison.

While I’ll mostly discuss Fundy’s future predicting powers later, I do think that there’s a possibility that Fundy saw a vision of the future, unlike the past two days where he saw visions of the past. The prison might possibly be nuked in the future.

Fundy then proceeds to walk back towards the building, repetitively saying “no”. He claims he needs to find out, sounding more determined than before. For this, even if the explosion could represent many things, I do think Fundy is generally reminded of the explosions he had to witness throughout the history of the Dream SMP. Perhaps he believes that finding out the truth could prevent more explosions from occurring, perhaps he figured out that this was the prison and he needed to know why it exploded, perhaps him walking away from something that’s reminiscent of real life represents his choice of wanting to learn more about his dreams rather than sticking to anything similar to real life.

Moving on, Fundy enters the building, saying he wants to know what’s going on. The underground room seems to have changed a bit, as the chiseled quartz floors changed into quartz bricks. The place also seems to be littered with end stone blocks and bricks. The place is much darker as well, and the carpets on the floor and table seem to be gone entirely. Two skulls can be observed near the table.

My brain actually can’t reason as to why the end blocks were there, or why the quartz blocks changed. My guess is that the end stones will eventually connect to a future plot point relating to the End, but again, I’m not sure. The carpets being gone could represent that the love and happiness (red and yellow) that Fundy had disappeared completely. The dishevelled state of the room could represent that the secrets being held inside this underground room are finally breaking free as its confines tear down more and more.

Now the skulls- if we go by the theory I presented earlier, then the skulls are meant to represent canon deaths. If the skull was tucked into the corner, then that means death is to come, but if it’s near the table, then I believe the canon death already occurred. If two skulls are next to the table, then it could imply that whatever time period the day is set in should be around the time Fundy loses a second canon death, which hasn’t occurred yet. Again, this is all speculation, so I might be overthinking, but if the explosion is meant to represent the prison getting nuked, then there’s a possibility Fundy would lose a canon life before the prison gets destroyed.

Now, onto the juicy bit: the book. The book reads as follows:

“Hi. again.

...Why are we so persistent

...Why are we so stubborn

...You have been here before, but you keep coming back

...Why?

WHY???

You dont want to know the truth

It will hurt you

I dont want to be hurt again

YOU dont want to be hurt again

I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE JUST LEAVE

GO TO BED

FALL ASLEEP

ENJOY YOUR LIFE

ENJOY THE FUN THINGS

THE TRUTH ISNT WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE

STOP THIS

STOP!!!”

The book tries scaring Fundy by spamming “WAKE UP” across multiple pages.

“It’s not going to work, huh..

Listen to me Fundy…

Your mind is not safe…

You are not imagining this…

This place might not be real…

But he is.

Spare yourself.

I need you to listen carefully.

Do not join him.

Whatever he asks of you.

Do NOT join him.

his plans aren’t as nice as they sound.

his intentions aren’t what you think they are.

he will use you

he will destroy you

everything you ever loved

everyone you ever cared about

do not join him.”

Before I explain this book, I think it’s best to also note down what was said in the next book as well so I can better explain what’s going on.

“note to self

hello

I just wrote this book to remember who I am

To remember what is happening

All the books I just found are indeed written by me

Listen to yourself

You suffer from a very odd illness

You suffer from a form of insomnia, within your own dreams.

Now the effects of this aren’t really known, and even I don’t fully know what is going on.

but let me tell you

somehow, this world, these actions and events, are linked to reality.

things that happen in these so-called “dreams”, tend to leak into the real world

they will actually happen.

you might wonder how exactly this is a bad thing.

the ability to predict certain events from happening, sounds pretty cool.”

Fundy then stops reading the book, seemingly overwhelmed by the influx of information. Analysis time, boys, time to unpack what this all means.

Firstly, I believe that this dream has happened before. Multiple times, actually. If certain “events” in the dream are meant to predict the future, then the moments involving the Camarvan on the first two days could imply that Fundy has seen this place before during the L’Manberg era where he could’ve predicted Eret’s betrayal and the loss of his father. If we think about it, the books could honestly be given to Fundy at any time period and it would work. Look at the entire section of the book describing someone who Fundy can’t trust- this “him” person could honestly be… anyone who abandoned Fundy? If the book hints at someone who might possibly hurt and use Fundy, then Eret, Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream could also be considered. These people were nice to Fundy at first before betraying him one way or another. There is a possibility that this dream has warned Fundy about these people in the past, only for Fundy to forget about the dream. What about this time though, who is this “him” that’s going to betray Fundy during this time period? Well, the easy answer would be Quackity, but Bad could be a possibility as well. With the hint towards Quackity at the end, I do believe that Quackity would be the main suspect, but it’s also good to keep an open mind as we don’t know much of who Fundy’s involved with in Season 3.

Now, why would Fundy be able to forget about the dreams, though? I do think that whoever is responsible for writing the books are doing their best to prevent Fundy from uncovering the truth. Who do I think are the book authors? Well, I don’t think they were lying when they said that they were Fundy. I believe that, just like the Dream voice in Ranboo’s head, the Fundy that writes books would be some sort of conscience or subconscious in Fundy’s mind. This part of the mind holds certain memories repressed by Fundy, as well as some of the insecurities he chooses to ignore. They are aware of all of Fundy’s past visits of this dream, and they know the dangers of it, which is why they want Fundy to not uncover the truth.

The signed book claims that whatever Fundy sees in the dream will seep out into reality. Knowing this, I believe Fundy’s subconscious is trying to prevent Fundy from seeking out the truth to prevent these future visions from happening in real life; this especially applies to events that involve Fundy possibly being hurt. There is a possibility that this Fundy has seen past Fundy’s discover events like the Camarvan and the loss of Wilbur occur in dreams way past before it occurred in real life, so they feel afraid that our Fundy would uncover more and more truths that would become reality. While we don’t know if Other Fundy’s beliefs on future predicting is true, this gives us a better understanding of why they want Fundy to go to bed and wake up. (Additionally, the Other Fundy has placed emphasis on saying that the truth may hurt Fundy, so there is a possibility that these future events might involve something that heightens Fundy’s insecurities more. That’s why this Fundy seems to be so aware of Fundy’s insecurities- they have witnessed Fundy’s insecurities being used against him in certain visions.)

For the memory thing, so far, I believe a part of Fundy’s mind is actively suppressing all the memories Fundy has of his dreams. Fundy already represses a lot of his insecurities, so using Fundy’s insecurities against him might actually enable them to keep Fundy’s memories about the dream locked in the corners of his mind. The place where the book is kept in is underground, after all, but we do have to keep in mind that the building is getting closer and closer to Fundy’s main base. This could symbolize that Fundy will remember his dreams more once he wakes up.

So basically, so far, Fundy has dreamt this dream multiple times in the past, and during each dream, he witnesses an event in the future that could possibly happen in real life. Fundy’s subconscious, or possibly past versions of Fundy, are trying to warn future Fundy’s to not uncover too many truths about the dream as they believe this could possibly manifest terrible events to happen in real life. To get Fundy to go back to bed, they try scaring Fundy, using his insecurities against him, only this time, Fundy is a bit more disobedient because, again, he feels like he has nothing left to lose.

Another theory I have which I’m not 100% sure about is that this Other Fundy, as much as it has good intentions, may have committed a mistake when they tried to get Fundy to bed by using his insecurities. If anything in the dream may happen in real life, them heightening Fundy’s insecurities might pass over to the real world as well. While scaring Fundy could prevent him from uncovering the truth, it might’ve also been a double-edged sword as Fundy is more aware of his insecurities more than ever.

Continuing on, Fundy decided to leave the building, seeing that it’s night time. He sounds relieved knowing that he can sleep and that he can wake up from this dream. He celebrates for a moment, throwing the book away, but then he hesitates, saying he wants to know the truth. He picks the book up again but doesn’t read it immediately, claiming that he could just sleep instead of knowing the truth.

Fundy seems to revel in the idea of waking up for a bit until he mentions how much of a “blast” he can have with everyone once he wakes up. After mentioning this, he immediately picks up the book with no hesitation. This is the second time Fundy is shown to be motivated in finding the truth about his dreams because of him realizing how unfun the real world is. Again, Fundy is seen to be motivated by the fact that he has nothing left to lose, and as much as he is scared of this dream, he seems to prefer finding this world’s truth over going back into the real world where he’s practically alone.

Moving on, the book continues:

“however…

while this might be the case of dreams…

this is also the case for nightmares…

this is your last warning Fundy

please… for the both of us…

just wake up”

This part of the book simply affirms all I’ve theorized about earlier. The Other Fundy hints that some events that Fundy might witness in his dream would be detrimental to Fundy, which is why he doesn’t want Fundy to continue exploring. He knows that Fundy will possibly manifest an event that will ruin him in real life, so he wants Fundy to sleep instead of accidentally manifesting his demise.

vii. FOURTH DAY

Fundy then wakes up once more, complaining that this dream never ends. He goes outside, seeing a black, hooded figure slowly turn around and chase him. With a quickened heartbeat, he runs up his stairs to sleep in a black bed placed on the roof. Fundy screams as we see the hooded figure approach, and the screen fades to black. A white smiley face reminiscent of the one on Quackity’s skin appears on the screen as casino slots sound effects play in the background.

Now, what do I make of this? Well, firstly, we gotta point out that his bed at the end looked EERILY similar to a gravestone. A lot of websites claim that sleeping in a gravestone or seeing a gravestone could indicate change, especially when it comes to overcoming one’s sadness or problems. In a literal sense, we can think of it as something foreshadowing a future canon death, especially if we think that the person chasing Fundy is the grim reaper.

Speaking of that person, I do have a couple of explanations as to who this person is:

The person is death themselves, the grim reaper. This is the common conclusion everyone believes in, especially when we consider this “him” person possibly hurting Fundy, and that second skull in the underground room. Quackity is the main culprit for now, especially with that smiley face in the end, but there could be other possibilities! Like, what if someone takes Fundy’s canon life before he joins Quackity, which is why the smiley face only popped up after Fundy’s dream death? Mayhaps someone affiliated with Quackity might be doing the dirty work for him, so Bad, Sam, Dream, and anyone, really, could be responsible for Fundy’s future canon death. Moreover, the fact that this death occurs affirms the beliefs of the Other Fundy. The Other Fundy merely wants Fundy to be safe from possibly manifesting his demise in real life, but Fundy’s curiosity got the best of him, and in the next sequence, he was killed, proving that the Other Fundy was right in saying that Fundy should’ve just slept.

A theory I made up which I’m not 100% sure of is that this figure is actually Fundy’s subconscious trying to get him to sleep. When Fundy was being chased, we heard a quickened heartbeat, and where was the only other time we heard that? When Fundy was reading the “WAKE UP” and “you’re not real” messages from those books. We can view this as the Other Fundy’s attempt in trying to get Fundy to actually sleep by using another scare tactic against Fundy. And well… it did work! Because Fundy was afraid of this figure, Fundy went to sleep. There is also a possibility that this occurrence is what makes Fundy forget about the dream because his subconscious got a hold of Fundy and forcibly made him forget, but I’m not 100% sure about that one yet.

Lastly, the face! That should already allude to Fundy possibly joining Quackity’s lore, and with the “38 potatoes” symbolizing business opportunities, I expect Fundy to be joining Las Nevadas as a possible employee. Quackity does, in fact, prey on people who are insecure, and can easily get them to do whatever he wants because of his words. If he can get Sam to give him the tools needed to torture Dream, Quackity might exploit Fundy’s loneliness into making him do whatever Quackity wants from him.

Another face that this could possibly connect to is the face in the Egg lair! While I’m leaning more towards Quackity because of the casino sounds, I do wanna say that the Egg and the Eggpire could possibly be connected as well, especially when the Egg could provide Fundy anything he wants. Just like how Quackity could prey on Fundy’s insecurities, the Egg preys on those who feel like they’re missing something, so as much as Fundy could be manipulated by Quackity, he could also be manipulated by the Egg. Additionally, business opportunities could apply to the Eggpire as well as they’ve contacted Purpled in the past to assassinate Puffy, so who’s to say they won’t try adding Fundy to the Eggpire?

TLDR; This entire stream showcased both Fundy’s insecurities and Fundy’s future predicting powers and how this “Other Fundy”, aka his subconscious, wants him to repress them because they believe that if Fundy uncovers the secrets of his dream more, then Fundy would accidentally manifest his demise in real life. Additionally, Fundy is very lonely, making him vulnerable of being used in the future because he is desperate to get any type of recognition from anybody. In summary, be afraid of Fundy’s future lore streams, be very afraid.

viii. ADDITIONAL NOTES

Even when I finish this, there’s a lot of questions to ask about this stream that I want you to keep in mind:

How many times has Fundy encountered this before?

How does Fundy forget all the information he got from the dreams?

How does Fundy write to himself?

Why is there so many details connected to Karl, and what does it have to do with time travelling?

Why does Fundy return to his bed every time his heartbeat quickens when reading a book?

Was the first scene part of the dream or not?

Could the underground room’s structure actually mean something?

And there’s probably more, but just saying, keep an open mind about this entire stream because there’s definitely a lot more to uncover.

I want to reiterate: I am not the Messiah, so don’t take my word as the truth and the absolute truth. I’d love to hear your thoughts about Fundy’s stream as a lot of it could be up for speculation! The entire thing is filled to the brim with symbolisms, so there could be a lot of interpretations to consider. If you enjoyed this, feel free to like and retweet because I worked my ASS off with this one.

Special thanks to the following:

Fundy and any of the Dream SMP members because that stream was INCREDIBLE. Go give them your love and support.

kingjem for always being there whenever I want to discuss any ideas I have about the Dream SMP. One of the smartest bitches I know, go follow them.

To all my betas who reviewed this document since I have a TON of grammar mistakes (thanks English): prismartist, bootsforthebootsgod, Finni_june (twt), ender-hyperfocuses-on-things, and Dngertosociety2 (twt)

And to all of you who like this post and would share it to other people! All support is appreciated. :D

#fundy #dream smp #mcyt #long post

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lgcdabi · 3 years

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𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎, 𝐇𝐈, 𝐆𝐔𝐘𝐒 & 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐒 ! phew — i threw everything together at lightning speed to get here, but here we are ! soooo, without further ado, i’d like to introduce myself. again, hi ! i’m lovie and i’m a full-time lover, and a part-time roleplayer. 🖤 it’s a pleasure to meet you all. now that that’s outta the way, i bring to you a new muse of mine who i’m loving so far. her name is 𝖏𝖚𝖓𝖌 𝖉𝖆𝖇𝖎, an aspiring actress, model, and perhaps idol. she still has no idea what she’s doing, but she’s sticking with acting for now ! she sort of fell, crashed, and now burns within the entertainment world, but she’s making the best of it. below the cut, you’ll find more info about her and some links to her pages. hmu if you’re interested in plotting and i’ll im you on tumblr as soon as possible !

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

🖤 ABOUT // 🖤 PROGRESS // 🖤 CONNECTIONS //

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈: AN ANALYSIS.

𝟎𝟏. she’s from a small port city named tongyeong on the southern coast of south korea, and she’ll forever adore it. honestly, she probably would’ve remained living there for much longer if she didn’t end up getting scouted by lgc and passing her audition. when she was a kid, dabi loved to play outside and go on adventures. some of the best days of her life were spent in the sunshine with her mother; collecting items from nature to craft into artwork. this is where her deep passion and love for crafts-making comes from. when it was too cold to explore, she’d hide herself away in her bedroom and read books. her favorites were ghost stories and tales about other mystical worlds where paranormal creatures roamed freely amongst humans. it’s needless to say, but she was a very quirky, imaginative girl, and still is even now. //

𝟎𝟐. at first, her peers weren’t quick to warm up to her, and it was especially hard on her in middle school. given her age, she often felt pretty insecure in her interests because many thought she was weird for having them. they thought her witchy jewelry was odd; they thought her intrigue in the paranormal world and occult were weird; they thought she was going to cast spells on them whenever she’d speak to them. it was a problem, but as they grew older and everyone started to get to know her, things weren’t so bad anymore. in high school, she would waltz around campus like a sprite; engaging in silly conversations, or asking nonsensical questions, or teasing others playfully. she was wispy and dreamy, and others joked that she wasn’t from earth, but a crash-landed alien or sea creature who just washed up on shore. //

𝟎𝟑. in high school, she dove straight into learning the art of reading tarot cards, or reading faces and palms, even attempting to strengthen herself as some sort of medium. she used to have readings with all of her friends in order to get better, but her journey was cut short after a trip to seoul got her cast by lgc entertainment. with a shocking successful audition, she thought it’d be fun to try something new—to go on a new adventure, so to speak—so she relocated to the capital city to start her training; picking up a part-time job as a waitress to sustain herself since her parents didn’t have a lot of money to send her. the change was exciting and terrifying. //

𝟎𝟒. dabi started out in the idol path, but never reached her full potential. she was a total novice when it came to singing, dancing, or rapping, and she felt extremely inferior to all others in her trainee division. she often heard “you’ll just debut as a visual, there’s no real need to be great at everything!” and that made her really upset because she’s far more than just her appearance. however, it seemed like that’s all she could be reduced to given her lack of musical ability. her beauty hadn’t really become a known “thing” to her until recently, and it seemed like after she moved to seoul and began this “career” in entertainment, that’s all people discuss about her. it put a lot of pressure on her shoulders, but she did her best to see the silver-linings. //

𝟎𝟓. after a year and a half, she decided to swap into the acting division of lgc. that was new to her, too, but she found herself better at it than she was at singing and dancing, so for right now, she thinks it’s what’s best. though, she still struggles with juggling her life training to make her acting debut with working to keep herself supported. being on her own for the first time—especially to someone as flighty as she is—isn’t exactly easy, but she tries really hard to keep her head above water. //

#〈 ❝ 𝓓. introduction. //#lgc:intro #hiiiiieeee! 🖤#i'm working on her connections pg rn! will be done asap!

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retvenkos · 4 years

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i just read your tags are you anti-snape?

(so i just saw that my tags were cut off halfway through my rant, so if you want me to finish that, just send in an ask and i will write out my whole thoughts)

okay, so anti-snape is a strong word, with a lot of different connotations to it, and while i wouldn’t brand myself as anti-snape because of all of the strong feelings attached, i would say that i don’t think that snape deserves all of the recognition that he deserves.

why?

what i firstly want to say is that snape is emotional abuser. my case in point here is neville, who had parents that were literally tortured to insanity, proving that his worst fear is snape - his teacher. how many times was snape unusually cruel to neville and harry? how many times did he humiliate hermione - an already bullied, muggle-born student (and possible poc)? snape is established to be cruel, and when you look at his actions, it is clear he is emotionally abusive to his students.

why did i start with this? because i relate with neville - i know what it is like to have your worst fear be an abuser that you face every day. so, therefore, i am biased against snape, and a lot of my dislike for him comes from the fact that no matter how you dice it, this man was in a position of power, abusing those students that looked up to him.

he especially hated harry, who was an abused kid himself (and there is some kind of narrative in there, an abused kid growing up to hate and alienate an abused kid. i’m not going to get into that. but just think about that for a second and tell me you don’t want to at least dislike snape.).

and perhaps you want to argue that snape couldn’t know that harry was abused over at privet drive. fair, okay. not everything about a kid can be seen on their face, right? but, one could argue that if snape took the time to look at harry and see him as a kid for a second, he could see hints of it. i have family members who are teachers, and they say that they can never be 100% sure, but they can at least have a good idea of who is abused at home, just based off of the way they interact with other people - especially adults. OR, if you don’t like that idea, you can think of it like this: the teachers at hogwarts are probably close to each other, right? mcgonagall knew (at least to some degree) what the dursleys were like - furthermore, she is close with harry and perceptive. she would have known that harry was abused, and if you don’t think that she wouldn’t have at least mentioned it to snape, i would disagree and say you don’t know mcgonagall. also! dumbledore! there is literally so many opportunities for snape to figure out that harry was abused at home. he just didn’t care.

so, snape is an emotionally abusive man in a position of power, picking on literal children as an outlet for his misplaced anger. this is the set-up for snape, and had he never had an in-depth redemption arc, we would literally all dislike snape.

and i feel like, then, the only reason that we have this snape/anti-snape discourse is dependent on whether or not you think his redemption arc is reason enough to excuse his actions.

and so here we talk about his childhood. which is definitely important and gives good insight, but should not be the only reason as to why he is seen as a good character. childhoods are formative and important, but they are not all encompassing. let’s not forget that snape is a grown man when the story starts. he is 31 years old when we are introduced to his character.

snape had a terrible childhood. he was neglected. he was abused (or so it was implied). he was friendless. he was lonely. he was poorly socialized. he was in a hogwarts house that seemed against him, almost, so he had to work to carve his place out and prove his worth. he wanted to stay at hogwarts all year, if he could.

(sound familiar? harry? neville? you two are here?)

but, school is not always great. at school, there are bullies that are terrible to him - it goes beyond teasing sometimes, snape getting hexed and jinxed and publically humiliated. he has one friend - lily, but sometimes he wonders if she really understands or if she really cares. no one has ever cared for him before, so why should she? he falls in love with her, but she does not reciprocate his feelings. instead, she falls for his tormentor - the person who has made his one safe place terrible, the person who treats him like he’s nothing.

now that is a compelling background. when he falls in with the wrong crowd, we can see why. he is desperate for some kind of belonging, some kind of importance.

(is that... draco?)

he gets more violent as time goes on. those spells he created? levicorpus? sectumsempra? he’s going down a dark path and he wants to cause pain. he becomes a death eater, and while we don’t get a lot of detail what happens here, he rises in the ranks, which means he had to have done terrible things. at this point, he is clearly a bad person. and maybe he feels remorse during this time, but it’s clearly not enough to push his conscience out of where it is. he is still on voldemort's side.

what changes him? the power of love, of course. because even in this terrible time, he still loves lily - right? but is it love? or is it more like obsession? jk would tell us it’s love, but i would disagree.

at the beginning, yes. snape loved lily. but after so much has transpired? things changed. snape is no longer as pure as he once was. he changed. any maybe he didn’t notice it, sure. but wasn’t he different, after everything?

if he loved lily, he would have cared about (even minorly) the things she cared for. yes, he could still hate james with a burning passion, yes he could let that ruin his and lily’s relationship,,, but could he become the very thing she feared and abhorred? could he become a death eater, literally killing people she loved? people just like her? could he have gone to her house, stepped over her dead husband, ignored her crying child to mourn her dead body?

this feels more like obsession. if you love someone, you care about them - their wellbeing, their peace of mind. love means you need to have an awareness for who your loved one loves, and you can accept them for the fact that they love someone else. snape shows he doesn’t. he only cares for her.

here we are, now, at this point is snape's story, and the natural progression in his redemption arc is for him to actively try to amend his terrible actions.

and... he does? kind of?

he becomes a double agent which is perfect. he vows to protect harry, which he does, physically... but he has a clear disregard for protecting harry emotionally, which one could argue is most important in harry’s story.

to defeat voldemort, harry has to come to terms with the idea that love is his strongest weapon against the dark lord, right? so snape being horrible to harry is not only bad because emotional abuse is real, but it’s also part of why harry is so angry and bitter in the sixth book, the exact opposite of what he needs to be if he wants to defeat voldemort.

also, snape preaches “control your emotions” but snape... is emotionally unstable and takes out all of his anger on children half his age? idk. that just bothers me.

so i feel like snape kind of half-asses his way through his redemption arc. he has chosen a different side, yes, but he doesn’t make a lot of intrinsic changes. he’s still angry. he’s still bitter. he’s still emotionally manipulative and abusive.

so really, the question is: is a redemption arc dependent on a change of heart? or is a change of action good enough?

if you haven’t already picked up on how i feel about this issue, i don’t think a change of action is enough.

redemption is the act of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil (thanks, google). it’s absolution for your crimes. i feel like redemption is an intrinsic transformation, and jk preaches that love can do such an act. i’ve already covered that i don’t think snape loved lily, at the point of his big character changing moment. he was obsessed. it was more a change of action, than of heart.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that i don’t think he couldn’t have been redeemed. toward the close of his story, i kind of saw him as going through another arc as a character - i saw him start to care for harry more as harry rather than the child of the woman i’m obsessed with. i think, here, he’s starting to show that love that jk insists he has.

i think that if he had more time, he could have had a more full, more satisfying redemption arc. and that’s the tragedy of his character, right? we could always sort of trust him, but we could never fully trust him until the end. he was never really quite redeemed, it was cut short.

so, basically, i grapple with the fact that jk is adamant that snape is the good guy, he’s the redeemable character, when... he’s kind of only halfway there. AND, this is coupled with the fact that i believe draco was halfway there to a complete redemption arc, and jk is equally as adamant against draco getting a redemption arc.

jk has said that she thinks that the people who want draco to be redeemed are just girls obsessed with the bad boy having a heart of gold (which is fair, to some extent), but... isn’t she the exact same with snape? isn’t she equally obsessed that her readers know snape as being the emotionally scarred, bad boy with a heart of gold? food for thought.

also, where i draw a clear distinction between the crimes of draco and the crimes of snape is that draco is a teenager alongside the teenagers he bullies and emotionally abuses (draco, too, is an abuser! if you want an analysis on him, hmu.) draco is a 15 year old abusing other 15 year olds. this is terrible, and it can’t be excused. i agree. BUT, snape is a 31 year old man abusing 11 year olds. he is also their teacher. there is a clear power imbalance coupled with the fact that snape is an adult, who is supposed to be wiser and smarter.

so... long post, forgive me. i could go off about the crimes of jk rowling's depiction of slytherins forever and never be fully satisfied. i’m sure that in a weeks time i will have more i want to add onto this post. but for now, these are my thoughts on snape’s redemption arc, and my answer to whether or not i am anti-snape.

i am sure that after reading this, there are some of you who will think that i am anti-snape. that’s fine. you can have your own opinion, but if you are going to say that, know why.

no opinion is good if you can’t explain why.

#harry potter discourse #hp #severus snape #anti-snape #j.k. rowling #discourse #olive rambles #and apparently screams at the sky because i have now been writing this for two (2) hours and my mom doesn't want to listen to me anymore #she likes to play devil's advocate in arguments but i will not stop until she understands my valid points

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rhydium · 4 years

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Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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battleshell · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @dansiere whom im care tagging: extremely informative meme for ppl who have lots of cross-over interactions, i encourage u to steal it from me anyway BUT @sternenteile @twelvians @stellamris @grandtales

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is a very, very minor NPC that i’ve essentially wrested from the game with my grubby hands; Gerson is a merchant NPC found in Waterfall, the third area of the game focused with water themes. he has less than 100 lines of dialogue (but jam-packed full of info) and doesn’t even have an overworld sprite. although noted to have a history with multiple major characters, it’s not often i’ve seen him be the main focus of any fanfics or art pieces. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ put that faaaaaaaar away from me please tyty ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ i personally believe that Gerson is a strong and potentially powerful monster with fighting capability that could rival some of the stronger Monsters in the Underground due to his background as a fighter during the Human-Monster War, but since has waned in both reputation and fighting skill. we never fight him in game and as such, will never see how he compares numerically, but it’s clear from his dialogue that he knows how to fight professionally/cleverly and would have given a hard challenge. ]

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ i mentioned before that Gerson has ties with lots of major characters - I hardly see it being put into action or talked about! i also have a soft spot for elder/older characters in general since they seem to be overlooked in favor for younger characters that carry the action of plots - which I understand and totally get, but I still like to put these characters out there for the sake of it ]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ he was a funny merchant dude that said “wahaha” a whole bunch of times and carried a magnifying glass; sure he and Frisk would have been good friends after the golden ending but most people have forgotten about their interaction with Gerson once out of Waterfall ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ as one of the older if not oldest Monsters in the Underground, or from his reputation as the “Hammer of Justice” from wartime. he is also a historian and is noted to have written a few of the books in the Librarby. definitely known in the Underground, but probably only in that community ]

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ as mentioned before, a benefactor to the community and maybe even a sagely figure. a source of wisdom (even if cheeky) and a person of stability ]

How strictly do you follow canon? — ehhhhhhhhhh both extremely canon compliant and then hands off the wheel, let jesus drive me away~ i only have so much canon material to work with so i have milked as much as offered to me, then went off to forge my own path in order to patch up the missing holes then add a few sprinkles. the base of the character is all there, but if you really want to get invested with him (or me) then we have a lot to walk through.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — old tortoise (NOT TURTLE) guy sells knick-knacks and cracks jokes, knows everyone’s dirty secrets but thinks they’re just funny to think about them than use them. an elder in the community who has stories to tell and lessons to teach, who has lived through half of recorded history and now spends his time just trying to make things around him interesting. a war veteran who protects his community and understands the horror of the world, but keeps eyes looking into the future even in the face of grimness itself. plays the accordion and harmonica, could probably square dance if he knew what that was. will call you kiddo.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — little to no motivation to find a passion for himself that would benefit or service just himself; his entire sense of worth comes from servicing others in some way (being a soldier and protecting people; recording history in order to teach future generations; maintaining a shop in order to literally service others) and lack of action due to decrepitude in old age. close-minded compared to other Monsters, as he doesn’t actually take to think of humans or outsiders kindly; judgmental to the point of being racist. proud and dislikes being one-upped that it could lead to pettiness, and despite his positive outlooks, very pessimistic worldview.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — funfact: Gerson is my first tumblr RP muse ever, and since i was worried about duplicate anxiety when i first started i specifically wrote him since he was a smaller character with less attention - i’ve since learned i have no anxiety about it so it’s no longer a problem, but what keeps me going today is the challenge of writing someone so different from me. the elder aesthetic along with homely, almost cottagecore kind of vibe is also appealing, and the humor that comes with gerson is a joy to write out.

What keeps your inspiration going? — reading literature, music, artwork, pinterest, replaying the game, and doing little hobbies that would embody the character (collecting or sewing, for example) are things i can do by myself, but with other people i have the most drive when i can have friendly and nonpersonal arguments/debates about character motives or about source material like what made a character act like this or that, or about really anything as long as it makes me seriously think about characters critically and force me to recognize flaws.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ unfortunately i’m not a tortoise monster who lived for probably centuries if not decades older than myself, but i enjoy writing older characters and hope that other ppl see the potential gerson has like i do ]

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ bro i should.. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ hmu if you got pinterest and i’ll give u tons and tons of boards ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ this is unfair to answer as (AFAIK) i am the only person writing Gerson in... any capacity. despite that i like to think i bring out the humorous side of him, and show ppl that he and other NPCs are tons of potentials and shouldn’t be overlooked because they aren’t popular ]

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. [ i always believed my style and my skill in not only PSDs or aesthetics, but analysis or understanding was always a bit plain, without much flourish or complexity. while that is appealing on its own and has its own merits, i can’t help but feel i can always push myself to do a little more, add a little flavor, or paint an image that could only be done in writing. although i am doing enough to get the job done, i’m searching for a certain voice of writing that i like and want to integrate into creative writing in order to make it more personalized and more engaging. ]

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / SORTA. [ i despise pussyfooting and will often tell ppl straight up if i have a problem with them or something about them; straightforwardness, honesty, and integrity are some of my core values and that includes being harsh if it comes to it in order to keep order ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — assuming it’s rooted in goodwill or from a point of analysis, absolutely! it’s one of the direct sources for growth and getting better at any craft, but as Tumblr loves to be.... jumpy, i’m always cautious when its not from someone i know.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — YEA BUDDYYYYY

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — absolutely, i thrive off friendly discourse as i mentioned.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — if we don’t discuss it as above, in lit any other case i’d say “well there are other blogs to follow” but since i’m like 99% sure i’m the only gerson blog that isn’t applicable lmao; the point still stands that everyone has the freedom to write a character as they wish. there are valid reasons to dislike a portayal but not a lot of valid reasons to attack someone for it - with the exception of ppl being gross. stop that, nasty.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — strangely. it’s not my job to make people like a character, you either like them or not. if you dislike them for unreasonable points then, to leave in the previous response, “clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.”

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — of course, as long as it’s polite and all that jazz!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — depends on the meaning - i like making new friends and i find it easy to talk to new people, be it about roleplay or other things like organizing video game play sessions. however, i also have on multiple occasions have approached ppl privately saying “this is annoying/this is problematic/this is inappropriate, stop” and been met with general disdain for voicing such so Who Knows..... (tm). at least on a private level. here, publicly, i’m pretty relaxed! memes and jokes are abound. as long as a person can be mature and responsible for their actions we can vibe, yo.

#definitely plan to link this in rules or something #as a guide for newcomers #what a nice meme!#* verbatim ⟐ meme.

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deputy-sarah-sux · 5 years

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can i be a psycho and your worst nightmare by asking ALL the writers asks?

You are a demon omg. I love it though this was so much fun to do.Since you didn’t specify fic specifically for some of these questions I’m just gonna write about The Devil Has Come for all of the “in xxx fic” asks.

Answers are below since this is such a long ask :):):)

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? 12/13 it was between 7th and 8th grade and it was all anime fanfiction

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Far Cry 5, RDR2, Assassin’s Creed, DC, Marvel, Fallout, Skyrim, Preacher. Far Cry 5 is definitely my favorite to write for though

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.Personally, I prefer OC’s, with OC’s I can build their character, give them a personality and growth. I like shaping the character as the world changes based on their actions

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?Action or romance unless I totally misread that question

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why?The Devil Has Come!!! It was my first in the Far Cry fandom and it’s my baby. I love all the characters and the world that I’m building. It’s got action, romance, some twists, it’s exciting

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?If we’re talking things that I’m currently writing and enjoy writing then I guess Bridges only because it’s the same characters as TDHC just in an AU form so I’d survive without it.

7) When is your preferred time to write?Night, 10pm on basically.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Everywhere really? TV shows, movies, video games, other fics

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?So far my favorite scene that I wrote in TDHC that has been published was either the confrontation with Rook in Chapter 11 or Jacob finding Sarah in the hotel in Chapter 8. They were both really fun to write.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternate ending in mind?Well it hasn’t been ended yet, but there were two possible endings that I was originally considering. I’m not saying much more other than the ending that I went with is gonna hurt me when I eventually get to it.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Not after posting but I have amended stories due to criticisms. If I’m a bit worried about a particular scene I’ll share the doc with my best lady @farcryfuckmeup and get her opinion. She usually points out things that aren’t great and I go from there. She’s the closet thing to a beta reader that I have.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?Sarah!!! She’s my best girl and I love her personality and attitude. In terms of canon characters though I’ve been writing some stuff from Arthur Morgan’s pov and that’s been really fun too. I really love playing around with his sense of self and morality.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I don’t have one yet? We’ll see how the future plays out there. It might be Ethan Seed but I’ve never written stuff for him so I’m not 100% sure.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.Almost every fic name is from a song. The Devil Has Come is from Blues Saraceno’s “The River”, Icarus is from Bastille’s “Icarus”, and I’m not sure where Bridges is from but I’m 90% sure it was a song. The series that TDHC and it’s connected stories are a part of is called Bottom of the River from Delta Rae’s “Bottom of the River”.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I use name generators for modern characters or look up names with a specific meaning. If the character is from the past (ie cowboy times or pirate times) I look up names popular in that century. Sarah’s name I got by looking up popular names with religious meanings and Sarah was on the list.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?I came up with the idea for TDHC by playing co-op with @farcryfuckmeup. It was originally supposed to be a crackfic based on the dumbshit we did in-game. Then in my desperation to pretend that the game didn’t end the way it ends I started coming up with ways it could have gone differently and thus my fic was born.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.I have so many wips! I’ll do a few because I’m in a sharing mood.Fallout 4 WIP: “‘You don’t even use power armor, why did you steal so many?’”RDR2 WIP: “Valentine was a crap town with crap people and even crappier whiskey. It was tiny and smelled like mud and horse shit and something else that she was pretty sure was vomit.”Another RDR2 WIP: “Trouble was the bastard was clingy apparently as he was hot on Arthur’s heel.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yes, a few. I got bored or I decided to focus on other things. I do intend to one day finish them but who knows

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?The Devil Has Come!!! I can’t wait to write a sequel and I haven’t even finished the current fic.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?Sometimes I wish I’d written a follow up to my judge fic Joseph and his Judge. I’m not totally sure if I like how it ended.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@farcryfuckmeup first and foremost, she’s amazing. I also love gwennolmarie and OutlandishWhalesharks on Archive of Our Own.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?My anime fics from middle school. It’s still posted and I won’t tell you what it’s called but every time I remember it a little part of me dies.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Music mostly but it sometimes depends on the scene. For certain scenes I need silence but for the most part it’s music music music. I have playlists for all sorts of scene types.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?I love it, idk if I’m any good at it but I do like writing them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Yes, I’ve been writing some future parts of TDHC and I have cried a bit writing some of it.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?The smut scene in Chapter 10 of TDHC, it was the first smut scene I’d ever published so I was really worried about that and kept rewriting it.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?Bit of both I guess. There is a vague outline in my head but only for like the big events, everything in between is go with the flow shit.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?It’s not going to be an instant hit. When I first started posting works back in the day I was always so upset when I’d check the next day and see only like 12 people had read it.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Icarus :( It’s only a baby fic and it’s in a mostly dead fandom but I love it.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?No, I love all the attention my fics get.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)I’m gonna recommend one myself. Since this is a Far Cry blog I’ll recommend a Far Cry fic: come a little closer by lowtides on AO3Also here’s a Fallout 4 fic that isn’t finished but I absolutely love: RAIDERHEAD by TaraTargaryen

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?No real people no. Thomas is a combination of a few fictional characters though.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I’ve gotten a few comments of analysis on chapters I’ve posted and honestly I love that so much. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing that someone not only read my fic but sat there and actually thought a lot about it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Like I said before I haven’t gotten a lot of criticism, but I guess the harshest for me was when I was discussing a character that I had really started to like and my friend (who I was ranting at about him) asked me to honestly think about what he brings to the table. Like is he actually necessary or just a throwaway character that won’t bring much to the story? I ended up scrapping him and putting a nameless character in his place to fill a few of his scenes.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I share them with one (1) person and that person is my irl best friend @farcryfuckmeup. Everyone else has to wait until I post stuff I don’t want to spoil any big surprises.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?It’s a chapter very far in the future for a fic I’m sure you can guess but I won’t outright say.“Against his better judgment, he reached out and grabbed the hysteric woman, tightening his grip against her struggling and pulling her into his lap. He wrapped her in a tight hug until she finally began to calm down, humming softly and running his fingers through blood-soaked hair.“

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I haven’t written a lot of funny stuff. I mostly do angsty. But when I was in middle school a wrote a novel where I spent two paragraphs talking about my MC’s hair color and current outfit and I cackle every time I read it. 70 pages or pure cringe, it’s hilarious.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.@farcryfuckmeup hmu bitch!also you @onl-you

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third, every now and then I write in first but idk I just don’t like it much.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?My close friends do

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?Thomas Moore, he’s a lot of fun to write for.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.I don’t actually have any song fics in the traditional sense. I do however have some fics inspired by songs. I listen to music almost constantly, sometimes a song comes on that gives my fic vibes and I add it to my prompt playlist.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?@/farcryfuckmeup has but I don’t try too hard to keep secrets when she’s around

44) What is the last line you wrote?“John rolled his eyes and finished unbuttoning his shirt.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?This is cliche probably but the readers. I don’t want to leave someone waiting around for the next update forever. I also want to see how things play out myself so my own desire to see the finished product also helps.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Again, going with TDHC for this. I am writing a sequel currently (I know it’s not done). It’s going to focus on a different character but Sarah will make appearances. I’m also working on a standalone sequel for her but that won’t be posted until the first sequel fic is complete.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made-up title. What would this story be about?I used a title generator: Hidden Midnight. It’s about a pair of idiots in love, one is a vampire so they can only meet at night and it’s very secretive. The human dies at the end.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Forced partnerships. I love it when two characters are forced into a partnership. One of them can’t fucking stand the other but slowly grows to like/love them in secret. If the chill one is in danger the annoyed one freaks the fuck out and does everything they can to get to their partner and afterwards claims they couldn’t care less what happened.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?I don’t remember the name of it but I’m pretty sure it was a Supernatural fic. I think it was Destiel (don’t just middle school me) and a high school AU. I’m not 100% sure. It was either that or a Fairy Tail fic and I like to forget my anime days.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?Angst. I love fluff and smut but in the end, I always go back to angst. It’s so much fun and there are so many ways to do it.

#ask

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frankencomplex · 5 years

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hc - mbti

god I already know this is gonna get so fuckign long bc i’m a huge nerd and can never shut up abt personality analyzation. on tht note , if anyone ever wants to talk mbti or just have me overanalyze ur muse’s personality..... hmu bc i physically cannot shut up abt it

charles is an intp ! i’ve probably said this before & it’s like weirdly integral to my portrayal of him ( or at least gives a lot of insight into it ) so for those of you who don’t know what mbti is at All , it’s a personality typology theory that divides human personalities into four categories : introverts / extroverts , intuitives / sensors , thinkers / feelers , and judgers / perceivers. therefore , charles is an introvert intuitive thinker perceiver , or if you want to get real deep & use cognitive function theories , he uses Ti ( introverted thinking ) , Ne ( extroverted intuition ) , Si ( introverted sensing ) , and Fe ( extroverted feeling ) in that order.

if you read about the basic characteristics of an intp , the personality type ( sometimes nicknamed “ the logician ” ) is known for being “ philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity. ” source

the description above is charles to a T , and i’ll explain why ! he’s a huge introvert. by no means does he gain energy from social gatherings , and he’s far more content to explore the contents of his own mind than to explore the minds of others. he’s an intuitive , which means he’s more concerned with abstract , unconventional ideas , and can be quite detached from the world around him , while a sensor would be focused on reality and their concrete senses. he’s metaphorical , dreamy , non - traditional , and unfocused ( though that is not solely an N trait ). he’s a thinker , which means he relies on logic & facts more than his own feelings or the feelings of those around him. lastly , he’s a perceiver , meaning he prefers to work at his own pace without rigid structure , and prefers open endedness over set plans and commitments.

I know that’s a lot , but it makes a lot of sense when you read about it. now , to get deeper , mbti is supported by the theory of cognitive functions ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe for charles as I mentioned earlier ). the whole idea is that every personality type uses a “ function stack ” of different modes of thinking / interacting with / viewing the world , and there are four predominant functions per type that are all accessed at decreasing levels of development. the first function is the most developed , the last is the least. so , without further ado , here’s charles’s personality type explained by his four functions. i’ve taken the most useful parts of the article on the following website. source

INTPs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Ti involves the application of logic and reason for the sake of understanding a given situation, system, or problem. INTPs use Ti to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. Inwardly, INTPs are highly self-disciplined, working to effectively manage their thoughts and their lives. The disciplined nature of their Ti compels INTPs to frame many things as a goal or challenge. These challenges may be physical (e.g., trying to achieve an ideal state of health or fitness), intellectual, practical, psychoemotional (e.g., becoming self-actualized), or later in their development, interpersonal (e.g., “perfecting” a relationship or becoming a skilled lover). In order to succeed in these personal challenges, INTPs are apt to impose rules on themselves. However, because of the wayward influence of their auxiliary Ne, they commonly end up breaking or sabotaging them.

INTPs are also less interested in working with facts than with ideas. Jung writes: “His ideas have their origin not in objective data, but in his subjective foundation.” INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. They see it pointless to try to build theories on a dubious conceptual platform.

INTPs often find it easier to identify inconsistencies or logical shortcomings—to assert what is not true—than to identify and confidently assert what is true. They can quickly locate inconsistencies or logical shortcomings in a given theory or argument. They excel when it comes to identifying exceptions or imagining scenarios in which the proposed explanation could breakdown. Due to their sensitivity to theoretical exceptions, they can be quick to throw theories and start from scratch. INTJs, by contrast, seem less deterred by ostensible exceptions, perhaps feeling that they will eventually be explained or otherwise rectified.

When functioning constructively, INTPs, like INFPs, often employ a trial-and-error sort of approach to building their theories and ideas. INTPs start with a given (Ti) and then use their auxiliary Ne to explore various connections and possibilities. They also integrate past experiences and acquired knowledge through their tertiary Si. It is usually only after years of toying with ideas that something resembling a systematic and coherent theory may start to emerge.

INTPs’ Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

INTPs use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function. Ne can function either perceptively or expressively. The verbal expression of Ne amounts to something like “brainstorming aloud.” When orating, INTPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly drift from one idea to the next. Even ideas that seem inwardly logical and sensible INTPs may suddenly sound incoherent when they attempt to convey them through their Ne.

In its receptive role, Ne prompts INTPs to gather information. It goes beyond or looks behind sense data, allowing INTPs to discern otherwise hidden patterns, possibilities, and potentials. Their Ne is constantly scanning for relationships or patterns within a pool of facts, ideas or experiences. INTPs commonly use this receptive side of their Ne in activities such as reading, researching, and conversation. They enjoy asking questions that allow them to gain insight or knowledge from others, making INTPs good facilitators of conversation.

INTPs may also use their Ne to sniff out intriguing possibilities. They commonly enjoy and assume the role of wanderer or seeker, rarely knowing in advance exactly what they are seeking.

Ne also confers an open-mindedness, helping INTPs see truth on both sides of an issue without forming unwarranted judgments or premature conclusions. More specifically, their Ne can be seen as contributing to their openness to alternative or Bohemian lifestyles. INTPs are those most likely to suddenly become vegetarians, join a commune, or decide to live out of the back of a van. They are drawn to the idea and challenges of an unconventional lifestyle.

Like other NPs, INTPs often have a love-hate relationship with their Ne. They love the fact that it helps them remain open-minded and grasp the bigger picture. But living with Ne also has its challenges. For one, it can make it difficult for INTPs to arrive at firm conclusions or make important decisions. It often seems that at the very moment they are feeling good about a given conclusion or decision, their Ne steps in and causes them to start doubting it again. This has obvious implications for INTPs who are trying to find their niche in the world. This can leave them feeling discouraged and restless, worried that they may never find what they are looking for. They may feel frustrated by their seeming lack of progress toward anything substantial. The fact is that INTPs desperately want to produce something of lasting worth or value, but they also want to ensure they get it right. They don’t want to leave any stone unturned before arriving at a conclusion. While INTPs typically enjoy this quest for truth, there comes a point when they begin to feel the pressures of life impinging on them. Questions about careers and relationships loom large as they enter their late twenties and thirties. This can be frustrating to INTPs as they feel like life is requiring them to make decisions long before they are ready. As is true of all IN types, they feel that life would be far better if they weren’t forced to consider practical concerns.

INTPs’ Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Unlike Ne (or Se), INTPs’ tertiary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is a conservative function. It involves an attachment to past experiences and past precedent—to the routine, familiar, and predictable. Types with Si in their functional stack, including INTPs, tend to eat a fairly routine or consistent diet, “eating to live” rather than “living to eat.” Si types are not only conservative with regard to their diet, but with respect to the material world in general. They tend to be savers rather than spenders, seeing excessive material consumption as unnecessary, or perhaps even immoral.

Like other Si types, INTPs also have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. They are minimalists to the core, relatively unconcerned with their physical surroundings.

INTPs’ Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Last but not least, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) serves as INTPs’ inferior function. While having inferior feeling doesn’t make INTPs emotionless robots, their feelings do seem to have a mind of their own, often coming and going as they please. Realizing how hard it can be to voluntarily contact or summon their emotions, INTPs tend to feel awkward and uneasy in emotional situations. Although they may be cognitively aware of the appropriate emotional response, if they’re unable to directly tap into their feelings, INTPs can appear clumsy, mechanical, or disingenuous. This can be unsettling to others who are looking for outward signs of authentic emotion from the INTP.

Fe is also concerned with maintaining social harmony. While Ti and Ne may inspire INTPs to function as provocateurs, their Fe encourages them to operate as peacemakers. Far more often than INTJs, INTPs will “bite their tongue” in order to avoid hurting or offending others. Doing so also minimizes the likelihood of emotionally-volatile situations which can engender anxiety and disquiet in this type.

Another aim of Fe involves establishing emotional rapport and connection with others. But again, while INTPs may do at fair job at reading others’ emotions, they may fail to actually “feel” what the other person is feeling. This is why INTPs are sometimes described as “outwardly warm, but inwardly cold or calculating.” Fe can be a bit of an act in the first place (e.g., political glad-handing), but this seems particularly commonplace among INTPs and ISTPs. Although casual social engagement may help them feel good for a while, perhaps even give them an ego boost, without sufficient Ti stimulation, it won’t be long before they’re scoping out the nearest exit.

Finally, it’s not unusual for INTPs to oscillate through phases in which they feel they don’t need other people at all. Especially when their work life is running on all cylinders, they can feel invigorated and invincible. But the psyche will only permit this sort of Ti lopsidedness for so long. Eventually, INTPs start feeling a bit lonely or empty, sensing that something important is missing from their lives. This prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they feel compelled to reassert their independence. Striking a balance between their independence (Ti) and relationships (Fe) can thus constitute a lifelong challenge for this personality type.

that’s all , if you read this far I will love you forever. if you ever want to talk personality shit , here I am

#✂ :: HC. ❛ 𝐼'𝓂 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 !#✂ :: ABOUT. ❛ 𝒜𝒸𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 #( god i am just #a fucking nerd #i go too deep #and i got hate abt it on twitter lmao so now here it is #on tumblr instead #but genuinely i think this is so interesting and worth reading if you want insight on my portrayal?#or if you just ever want to talk abt personality types God )

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