#holy fucking SHIT MY DUDES

[deardarlingthings]

MC'SCUSE ME

ARE WE GETTING

CANNON FUCKING???

[orangechickenpillow]

My sexuality is now the bee scene from fried green tomatoes

[mortiferumsomnum]

I posted 19,312 times in 2022

That's 19,312 more posts than 2021!

58 posts created (0%)

19,254 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@stealingyourbones

@gilbirda

@tt-squid

@lenacraft

I tagged 3,808 of my posts in 2022

#tcf - 309 posts

#timkon for the soul - 159 posts

#hahaha - 85 posts

#timbern for the soul - 67 posts

#kontent 💙 - 58 posts

#holy shit - 56 posts

#yes - 54 posts

#dc x dp - 48 posts

#*sobs* - 45 posts

#*wheeze* - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#myyyyyyyyyyyy hhheeeeeeaaaarrrrttttttt 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jason Todd’s Cooking: Ghost King Approved!

A continuation to THIS post!! EDIT: MASTERLIST

Jason wanted to punch Danny.

Don’t get him wrong! The kid’s a delight to be with! He’s compassionate, sassy, and a huge nerd on anything related to space. The daily hugs the kid had been giving him had also been curing him of his Lazarus Madness, allowing Jason to sleep at night without any bloodthirsty thoughts to ruin his night... morning... whatever.

But when you have dozens of ghosts lined up at your door at ass-o’clock in the morning, whispering of how they wanted to have a taste of your “Cooking the Ghost King Approves”, even you would want to punch the ghost-kid’s face. It didn’t matter if his coronation to Official King-hood is tomorrow. 

He also looks like the Demon Brat, so his punchable-looking face enhanced!

They haven’t seen Jason yet, who was hiding behind some building and was still in his Red Hood gear. How did these ghosts even find out where his civilian self lived----- Dannyyyyyyyy. Of course these ghosts would keep tabs of where their Beloved Ghost King was frequenting. Fuck. He needs to get out of here.

How are these ghosts even going to eat Jason’s food anyways?! Can they?! He thought Danny was the only ghostly being capable of stomaching food from the living realm!!! 

The ghosts looked really weird too. Unlike Danny, who looked a bit more alive what with his skin color becoming like Damian’s when in his Ghost Form, these ghosts are either blue or green. Some had human forms, others looked like blobs.

Jason furrowed his brows under his mask. How the fuck is he even able to see these ghosts?! The only ghost he’s only able to see was Danny for these past few days! Did being with the Ghost King... enhance his ability to see ghosts?! Or were these ghosts just powerful enough to keep a form?

So many questions!! Tim and Bernard would have a field day trying to investigate this. He could already imagine all the whiteboard markers and whiteboards the two were going to invest in, throwing idea, theory and facts at each other until they’ve gotten The Whole Truth of the matter down to their satisfaction. 

Yeahhhhhh, no. Nope. Not dealing with this anymore. Jason has recently began caring about his mental health now that he’s slowly been purified. He’s not going to let his progress flop with an encounter like this.

He was about to fuck off to one of his safe-houses when he heard a familiar voice. 

“What in Ancients’ name are you all doing here?!”

It was Danny, floating above them with his arms crossed and a glare on his face. Tim and Bernard tried to explain to Jason what the ghostly glamour was doing to avoid him from recognizing Danny’s face, but Jason was busy relaxing in Danny’s purification hugs to listen to the two excitable puppies yip theories at him. But, if the glamour weren’t there, Jason could bet that the glare would look similar, if not identical, to Damian’s. 

“Your Highness!” the ghosts greeted, bowing towards Danny before excitedly straightening up. 

They all talked at the same time, trying to explain their reasoning. It was entertaining how the little blob ghosts cooed and did little flips in the air. 

With one hand held up from Danny, they all shut up.

“I don’t want to know your reasons, nor do I want to know how you all found out about this place,” he said. The way the kid said it reminded him too much of Bruce when he’s about to ground the batkids (Jason included). Then, Danny pointed to the side, a portal open that was definitely made by Danny himself. “I want all of you back to the Ghost Zone in the next minute. Do not disturb this place again.”

All the ghosts deflated, the human-looking ones slouching and hunching their shoulders, as they all floated into the portal. They all mumbled their apologies as they did so. Once the final, sad blob ghost plopped itself into the swirling portal, Danny closed it and turned to Jason with an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry about that, man,” he said.

Jason walked up to him with hands in his pockets, chuckling. “Must be tough running a kingdom, Your Highness.”

Danny groaned. “Please don’t call me that,” he whined.

“But Your Highness,” said Jason dramatically, because he’s a little shit like that, “I am but a mere commoner! I wouldn’t dare address you so informally!”

Danny snorted, punching playfully at Jason’s shoulder. “You’re an ass!”

Jason grinned. “Good.”

Then, as if remembering something, Danny brings out an envelope from one of his ghostly pockets and hands it to Jason. “Clockwork has a job for you,” he said. “But you can refuse if you don’t wanna do it. It’s a really tiring job, and you’d only be paid in ghost money, which isn’t even applicable in the mortal realm.”

Jason took the envelope, opened it, and looked over the cursive writing he imagined characters in Jane Austen’s books writing like. Well, almost like. The ink was in Neon Green.

“This Clock-y dude is...”

“He’s basically my advisor,” Danny said, not explaining more. 

See the full post

1,305 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#4

Danny Had Enough of Clockwork’s Pining

EDIT: MASTERLIST

***

The reason why Alfred is somewhat immortal is because Clockwork is in love with him, and had “blessed” him, but Alfred is unaware about all this, and Clockwork would love to keep that to himself, thank you. 

But Danny, being the little shit that he was, went up to Alfred.

“Hello, good sir!” said Danny in the middle of the grocery store, not at all looking like a naughty little boy up to no good. 

Alfred, being the absolute angel that he was, smiled kindly towards Danny, straightening his back after grabbing some canned sardines and putting them in the cart. “Yes, young sir? How may I help you?”

Clockwork, who was still in his lair, cursed as Danny said, “My Dad has been pining over you for... years? I think? And I just wanted to ask if you were free anytime this week so you could meet him.”

THAT BLASTED CHILD! Clockwork stopped time in his lair, making sure that even the observants were frozen, before disappearing and appearing behind Danny with his perfectly crafted Human form.

“Daniel William Fenton,” and good, the child flinched, “that’s enough.”

But when Danny turned towards him, he didn’t look the least bit remorseful.

Clockwork lifted his eyes to see Alfred, and his breath hitched when Alfred smiled. Amusedly. At HIM. 

Let it be known that Clockwork did not blush. He didn’t.

“I...” Clockwork coughed into his hand to clear his throat. Because he surely didn’t squeak either. “I am Horatio Clockwork. This child is just someone I am babysitting.”

A loud, ‘Hey!’ came from Danny, which was promptly ignored.

Alfred chuckled. And it was beautiful.

“Alfred Pennyworth,” he said. And his was smooth and beautiful and... 

“ClockDad, stop staring at him. It’s rude,” Danny said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Clockwork huffed. “I wasn’t staring at him, Danny.” Then looking at Alfred, and Ancients, he could look at those eyes forever. “I’m sorry if it seemed that way.”

Danny huffed beside him. “Yeah, Mr. Pennyworth. I’m sorry if Clockwork was enjoying too much of a beautiful view.”

Okay, that’s it. He needs to get his child and himself out of here. 

But a small laugh from Alfred got Clockwork out of his thoughts.

“I am free this Friday evening,” he said, bringing out a pen and a piece of paper, writing on it with smooth motions, and handing it over to Clockwork with a wink. “Do message me the time and place, Mr. Clockwork.”

Clockwork took the paper.

And then, Alfred Strode away. Clockwork could swear the man’s hips were swaying.

He got Alfred’s number in his hands, written on a piece of paper.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” said Danny.

That doesn’t stop Clockwork from dragging Danny kicking and screaming out of the grocery store and back to his lair.

******

WHAT IS THIS?!??!?!?!? I DON’T KNOW EITHER XD

See the full post

1,571 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#3

Soup Kitchens and Runaway Ghosts

NEXT>>

Dani let out a breath of relief. Danny’s injuries were all accounted for, and now he’s fast asleep on the makeshift bed that she made out of cardboard and scratchy cloth that is... semi-clean. There were still bandages that Jazz threw in a backpack that she packed for Danny before Dani flew as fast as she could out of their house, clutching onto Danny as hard as she could until she knew that they were safe and away from his parents and the GIW.

An old, abandoned apartment that seemed haunted (but not really) was the best place she could take them.

But with only clothes and bandages for Danny in the backpack, there wasn’t any food. She took a look outside, and deemed it still early for a few soup kitchens to still be open, especially for dinner.

So, she leaned down, patting Danny’s head, whispering how she’ll be back as soon as she could. She’ll just get some food for Danny and her to eat. She took her own pack, filled with ice-cream containers and plastic spoons that she’s collected over the months she went travelling.

Then, turning invisible, she flew out of the abandoned apartment building.

***

- Okay, so, what happens is that Jason runs a soup kitchen. He’s still Red Hood, and the people helping him run the kitchen are his Goons. But his Goons have no idea that Jason is Red Hood. They just think that Jason is someone Red Hood wants to help, and the Goons love helping the dude. Not just because he’s good at cooking, but because they actually feel like they’re doing something good when they help.

- There’s always a new face coming into the soup kitchen, new kids that ran away from toxic home environments, people who lost their jobs and became desperate, families who are trying to get by... 

- Then, Jason felt a chill run down his back and the Lazarus Madness in his mind hiding away where Jason couldn’t feel it. He looked around to what could have caused that reaction, and locks his eyes on his black-haired, blue-eyed child carrying ice-cream containers asking one of his Goons, Bill, if he could fill it up.

- Bill doesn’t ask questions. He told all of his Goons that are working in this kitchen to never ask questions when someone asks for more, or to bring some home. Just do it.

- She doesn’t eat in the dining area that Jason set up, instead tucks away the sealed soup and bread, and some eggrolls Jason taught his goons to make, and walked out of the place.

- The Lazarus Madness then returned, though still dulled and almost whining in annoyance in his mind.

- Shaking his head, Jason walked in to replace the empty pot of soup for a new one. Then, he turned to Bill to take care of the place, saying he needed to report to Red Hood something.

- “Is it the kid with the containers earlier?” he asked.

- “Yeah,” Jason just decided to reply. “I just have a... feeling.”

- Bill frowned and told Jason that he got it from here.

- Jason went out back, opened his security cameras to locate where the kid went. But, when he went to the time the kid walked out of the door, it was like she just disappeared into thin air! Jason wondered what was with the girl that caused the Lazarus Madness to crawl into near inexistence to the back of his mind.

- But Jason decided that he’ll look more into it later.

***

- The young girl shows up a the next day. This time, not only does she ask for the containers to be filled, she even asks for her water bottles to be filled with drinking water because the water jugs that were brought out were empty.

- Interestingly, the girl seemed more tense in front of Jason, squirming where she was standing and trying hard not to stare at Jason, looking away when Jason directs his gaze to her.

- Does she also feel how she’s pushing away the Lazarus?

- A question for another time. He had food to give out.

- This time, Jason and Bill were switched. Bill, his faithful student in the art of cooking, is in the kitchen cooking up more soup while all the other Goons were putting together some ham and cheese sandwiches. And Jason with some of the other goons were giving out the food.

- Jason calls for one of the other goons to change the empty water jugs with new ones while he fills her containers with soup, one container with some rice porridge, and another one with the sandwiches his goons put together. He gave enough that could be eaten for two people. 

- When Jason sees the state of the little girl’s water bottles (it’s the plastic water bottles, and it’s all crinkled up like paper), Jason tells the little girl to wait and goes to the back kitchen (noticing when he looks back how the girl relaxes as he leaves) to get one of his water bottles that he stole from Bruce that he wasn’t using. It was big, enough to be filled with four glasses of water.

- Jason could always steal another one. Not like Bruce was using them anyways.

- So, after washing the bottle, he steps back out, refills the bottle, and gives it to the little girl. Her eyes widen, letting out an excited gasp, seeming to forget how tense she was in his presence.

See the full post

1,773 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

#2

Burgers are How You Summon the Almighty Ghost King

EDIT: MASTERLIST

***

Look. Bernard didn’t think it would actually work. 

But, there he was. The Ghost King! In all his.... teenager glory...

“You are the Ghost King... right?” Bernard asked, handing the teen a ham sandwich he just put together. 

“Oh, thanks,” said the teen, accepting the sandwich. “And, yeah. But I haven’t had my coronation yet, so a friend of mine is overlooking some things until I’m ready.”

“Cool,” said Bernard. Then, he gave the teen an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for summoning you, dude. When I read in the pamphlet that you needed ketchup and mustard drawn in the constellation of Corona Borealis, I really didn’t think it would work because it involved condiments and not... you know... blood sacrifices?”

The teen nodded. And after swallowing, he said, “It’s cool. I’m just surprised that the summoning requirements changed that fast across realms after a few jokes I made. It seems some ghosts just don’t leave things be. They probably worked this fast to tick me off...” The teen snorted at what he said, before continuing with a casual wave of his sandwich, “I should change the requirements again, into something more complicated maybe.”

“I could give you some ideas!” Bernard said. Then he gasped. “My boyfriend is REALLY good at contingencies and plans! He could give you some ideas, too!”

The teen frowned worriedly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. 

Bernard nodded, a bit enthusiastically because his bangs were hitting his eyes. “He’s amazing like that! And this isn’t just bias talking! He’s really good at almost everything, it’s insane! He’s a dork, but-”

“Okay! Okay,” the teen laughed. “I get it, he’s amazing.”

“Hell yeah, he is!!” Bernard said, hoping his smile isn’t too dopey.

O_O_O_O

Tim blinked. He blinked at the evidence of the summoning. He grimaced at the black ants that’s marching towards the mess. 

Then he blinked at the white-haired teen in some kind of hazmat suit that blinked at him with eyes that reminded him too much of Jason. But Danny’s face looks kinda... familiar...?? Nah, no it doesn’t. But the green eyes does make Tim internally theorize that neon green is associated with death. 

Then, he blinked at Bernard’s excited smile.

“Okay, first off, this summoning ritual is insulting,” Tim said, gesturing to it. “There’s barely any drama.”

The white haired teen ducked his head in embarrassment. “I was joking with some of the ghosts in charge of changing the summoning rituals... I don’t exactly understand why it’s important to have something that can summon me when the Ghost Realm and the Living Realm should be kept separate but... well... they insisted. And I was annoyed. And hungry. So, I said the next best thing that came to mind.”

Tim nodded. If he were less tired, he would be snorting in amusement and making some kind of joke Kon would be proud of. But right now? Tim had been awake for the last 71 hours and 45 minutes, a quarter of an hour before the hallucinations sets in, and the only thing keeping him going is coffee and Bernard’s promise for a sandwich. And Bernard, bless his boyfriend, is REALLY GOOD at making sandwiches.

“Okay,” he said, sitting down at the table and taking a bite out of his sandwich. “What if the ritual involved making sandwiches?”

Bernard frowned at his boyfriend. He rubbed Tim’s back, which was heavenly because Bernard’s hands were pleasantly warm. “Are you okay, Babe?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “But like you said, we’re just putting together ideas, so I’m also just spouting everything that comes out of my head.”

The teen nodded in understanding. “Right? Food’s just that powerful!” Then, his face turned serious. “I want it to involve making a burger. Not bought, but made from scratch from the summoner.”

Tim nodded, bringing out a notepad and wrote down what the teen said in the most illegible scribble Bernard’s ever seen. Hmmm, maybe Tim needs some rest.

“What should be the ingredients?” Tim asked, not looking up from his notepad while twirling his pen.

“We need to find the best burger there is in this world,” the teen said. “And then, we write down the ingredients for it, the step-by-step process of how it should be prepared, and what kind of soda it should be paired with.”

Tim nodded, jotting down what Danny said.

Bernard was honestly amused and worried. “Are you sure this is the kind of summoning that you want?”

See the full post

2,314 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Blanket Full of Stars

EDIT: MASTERLIST

Jason was 6 years old when Danny was born, and he remembered that Danny looked like a wrinkly monkey wrapped in Jason’s softest blanket that he could find in his closet. The blanket had all these stars and planets, and tiny little rocket ships that look like they’re about to crash into the moon. 

Jason giggled, because his baby brother looked like a monkey in space. 

Jason loves him. 

That day of his birth, when Jason held the little baby in his arms, he promised to be the best big brother ever. He’ll make sure that no one bullies his brother for looking like a tiny monkey, and beat up anyone that even tries to beat up his brother. He’ll read all the books the old ladies from the diner gave him, and turn on the radio when Danny wants to listen to music because Jason sure as hell can’t sing.

But his mom said they couldn’t keep him. They couldn’t afford to keep him.

Jason was heartbroken.

So, some social workers went looking for a family to take Danny in.

The day the new family came to pick up Danny, Jason held Danny the whole morning, not letting go of his baby brother who was sleeping so peacefully.

Danny had also gotten attached to Jason. He’d stop crying when Jason holds him, rocks him, carries him. He’d make little ‘num-num’ sounds when Jason feeds him. And when Jason talks to him, he’d reply with a ‘bwah!’ and an ‘awuwuwu!!’ 

Danny can’t lift anything yet, but he’d hold on to Jason’s finger. Danny can’t roll over yet, but he’d lay his chubby cheek on Jason’s shoulder. Danny can’t talk yet, but Jason just knows when Danny calls for him.

So, when the new family comes into the house with the social worker, Jason couldn’t hold back the tears. No, he couldn’t let go of Danny. 

Danny was still a month old! What if he gets sick in the car ride! What if the parents forget Danny because he’s so small? Danny might not look like a monkey anymore, but what if the parents leave him alone anyways? How can he trust these people to take care of Danny?

Oh, they have a daughter??

It doesn’t matter!! She is a 2 years old girl that’s crying when she saw Jason crying. She can’t take care of Danny! She can’t feed Danny, or bathe him!! Her tiny arms can’t carry him either!

Danny can’t go with them!

But his mom was crying with him. “I’m sorry,” she said, hugging him when the two parents took Danny. Jason’s head was hugged close to her chest, but Jason had a clear view of his baby brother. His baby brother that was making distressed sounds while being held by unfamiliar people. “I’m sorry, but Danny won’t be able to live a good life here, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Jason hated this. Jason could take care of Danny, he promises! He can! He won’t even let his good-for-nothing dad touch him like the month Danny was with them!

But, when the baby girl, Jazz, was lifted by the giant man, Danny stopped making such sad sounds. Then, Jason watched as Jazz lifted her hand. And he was ready to run in and stop her from slapping his brother, but he stopped. He stopped because she patted Danny’s cheek so gently.

And Danny... Danny cooed the same way he would at Jason. Danny held the little toddler’s finger and babbled loudly, like he would when he’s being held by Jason.

Jason hated it. He hated the little baby girl. Danny was going to a better family, going to be taken care by a girl he’ll call his sister. And Jason will be forgotten! Danny won’t ever remember Jason anymore!

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!

Jason ran to his and Danny’s room. Well, his room now. All of Danny’s things had been packed.

Then, Jason saw the blanket. The blanket that made Danny look like a little monkey in space. It’s the softest blanket Jason has. And Jason doubts that the new family would have a blanket full of stars like his does.

“Jason! They’re about to leave!”

He picks up the blanket, folds it, and runs downstairs. Danny was all buckled up in the car seat the new family purchased just for him. He was sucking on a binky that the new family bought too. 

The new family saw the blanket Jason was holding. 

“It’s... It’s for Danny,” he told them.

His mom pursed his lips. “It’s not washed,” she said.

See the full post

2,496 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nina-the-ninth]

Low effort Shuake shitpost bc I’m bored and have been listening to too much Tom Cardy

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

Prime defenders spoilers!

Yeah the episode was alright.

[cozylittleartblog]

y'all I CANNOT win, some fucking clown AI upscaled my TADC fanart and is selling it on etsy. What the fuck. I hope I have better luck with the takedown on Etsy than I did with fucking aliexpress...

They even erased my cool ass background 😔

[pencildragons]

ok but. im losing my mind that loki spent CENTURIES in a time loop learning advanced physics just to save his friends. like. centuries. hundreds of years. and it was all for nought and in vain anyway. centuries of being what is functionally entirely alone. because no one else around him remembers this because it is the first time this has happened for them. and then . loki takes himself to the end of time to save the universe and in doing so damns himself to total isolation for Literally All Eternity. he can see the ones he loves but they cant see him. those centuries will be an eyeblink at the end. and . and . and. nobody touch me im going to sit at the bottom of the ocean for ten thousand years

[starry-bi-sky]

how do you clone a fey? that's trick question; and fey love those!

@the-navistar-carol (<333) brought up a good point while I was talking about my changeling danny au with her -- Dani! How would she exist in this au? Danny's a changeling - a fae. How would Dani, a clone of him, be created? How do you make a fey? Not through any means that Vlad is doing; you can't make a fey through unnatural means, considering the Fair Folk are nature. And Vlad's not a fey himself -- he's a halfa, even if he could make a fey, it's not in his best interest too. He's a powerful ghost, but even the weakest fae can overpower the strongest ghost. He won't want a clone of Daniel to be more powerful than him.

(In a three tier hierarchy it goes Ancients -> Fae/Mythos -> Ghosts. They all live in the Infinite Realms, but on different Planes. The fae live above the Ghost Zone in the Fey Wild, while the Mythos live beside the Wilds or down in the ghost zone depending on where they are. Places like the Frozone, the Athens Acropolis, and other such large islands climb throughout all three Planes.)

(While Ghosts can travel into the Fey Wild, its generally advised against as the ectoplasm tends to manifest differently there due to close contact magic. It can make it rather disorientating for a ghost, and as human spirits, the Fae living there would jump them faster than they could blink. So unless you're willing to play mind games with 'steal thy name eat thy face' fae, most ghosts keep out of the way of the Wilds. Fey can travel down into the Ghost Zone, they just don't bother.)

That's of course, not taking into account if Vlad even knows Danny's a fae himself. Vlad doesn't ring me as someone who really cares much about ghost culture or the going ons of the GZ. He might be aware that fae exist, but the moment he realizes he can't use them for personal gain he just doesn't bother with them. The risk is greater than the reward, and he'd rather not get eaten. But lets assume he's aware by now that Danny is fey, and has to take that into account while cloning him.

So, how does Dani exist? Good question! Honestly; i'm not sure. She might not exist at all, or if she does, she's more halfa than fey. Vlad would need a lot of human dna and ectoplasm to balance out all that fae magic. He manages to steal DNA from Jack and Maddie to do it, and since Jack's fey ancestry is very dormant its much easier to use alongside Danny's DNA.

In turn, it results in a little girl whose more human-ghost hybrid than clone. With that little extra boost in fey magic making her not a fey, but still relatively powerful. Dani is less of a clone and more of a lab-grown little sister. It's a rather tedious, complex process that has Vlad tearing his hair out trying to figure out. But he does eventually figure it out.

[bittersweet-mojo]

I am not a prey animal.

[lanadelreis]

drake: haha i’m gonna diss kendrick

kendrick lamar’s honest to god reaction:

[its-your-mind]

HEY. HEY.

HEY @re-dracula WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HAVE JONATHAN ACTUALLY READING THAT PASSAGE OUT LOUD BEHIND SEWARD DESCRIBING THE SCENE, HUH? WITH THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE AND THE PAUSING AND THE SHORT LITTLE INHALES AND THE VOICE CRACKS? WAS IT TRULY NECESSARY??? I WAS ALREADY CRYING. I DIDN'T NEED THIS TOO. WHAT THE FUCK.

[cacaocheri]

little doodle i did for myself bc when i got home i was so fucking drained

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

[incorrect-league-of-villains]

Ochako: Hi, I'm Ochako! And you are?

Toga: not as straight as i thought i was, apparently

[i-eat-candles]

Guys, lets be honest, we all kinda cried a bit after listening to this episode.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

HII just wanna let u know i cant stop thinking abt poppy and sally (and laughingstock ofc) and its ur fault!!! i love them sm!! ur brain is huge!!

!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!