#honestly i need to let myself make mistakes and do stupid shit and remind myself im not infallible

[chainsawworld]

Imalways so torn up between letting myself feel negative emotions besides anger cause I never do and being like wellllllll... it IS nearly 9 so really none of these are Real emotions so what's the point?

[mikolovesracing]

electric touch

//:: or in this case, lando norris is sick of the small touches from oscar piastri that leave him dying for more, and in the same sense, oscar knows it:://

🖤🧡requests open🧡🖤

(no smut. i dont write that shit:) but it is incredibly fluffy)

they sat side by side at the interview, a mere six inches away from each other and chatting to the media lady who was nice enough but pressy and internally frustrating lando. it had already been a long day and he was ready to clock in especially after a spectacular quali which gave him a p2 position behind oscar who had a phenomenal quali. lando had tuned out and was letting his brain get rapidly excited for tomorrow’s race until he felt a shocking tap on his forearm. he snapped out if it and turned to oscar who was chuckling.

“oh i just shocked lando, like literally just shocked lando.” he laughed into the microphone, the lady was looking a bit more expectantly at lando however and seemed slightly annoyed.

“lando how does it feel to qualify behind your teammate?” she repeated, lando wasn’t sure how to respond over the fact that his heart was racing and he could barely hear his own thoughts. he thought on it for a moment, barely, before clearing his throat.

“i’m incredibly proud of him, oscar is a fantastic racer and i think this has been a long time coming for him, i think he has every tool he needs to pull off a win tomorrow, unless i do it myself but, you know watching your best mate win his first race is a win for yourself as well, and honestly for the team.”

“well let’s hope to see at least one of you come out on top then, lando, oscar, best of luck.”

the boys both politely said thank you and stood up. lando waited for oscar to get a few feet ahead before walking after him. he kept looking down at the freckle on his forearm that oscar shocked, feeling a chill down his spine when he touched it, like the elctricity was still on his body somehow and tingling under his skin as if trying to escape. the anxiety in his chest constantly reminded him that he probably turned bright red when oscar poked hin and that it was totally caught on tape in that interview.

“earth to lando, are you okay?” oscar had turned around and grabbed lando by the shoulders to stop him before he ran into the aussie. cue the flush in his face and that feeling of electricity running through his veins again. lando wasn’t entirely sure what face he was making, whether he looked annoyed or completely smitten and forced up a smile.

“yeah fine, just a lot on my mind you know?” he said through partially gritted teeth. oscar removed one hand and let the other linger on lando’s shoulder, flicking his thumb across it. he knew what he was doing. it’s not like he was an idiot, or that their mutual friends were horrid at keeping secrets, but he knew about lando’s crush. at that point, everyone on the grid knew about lando’s crush and oscar’s unspoken reciprocation.

“he’s in love with you, piastri, if you don’t see that, i reckon you might be stupid. and mean. definitely mean.” daniel ricciardo had said to him not but an hour ago in his trailer. oscar had known for at least two months and in that time had done the most he could to irk and tease lando. especially with little touches. it. drove. lando. mad.

“no! danny! don’t mistake me for a muppet! it’s not like lando is inconspicuous about it, have you seen him even slightly near me lately? i just don’t know how to go about letting him know that i feel the same? he’s anxious about it and i feel horribly but also i don’t want to tell him that everyone has told me. i just wanna do it when the timing is right?” oscar had replied, feeling slightly justified in his stupid little game that was making lando all flustered.

“you’re a menace to society. and i promise you if you hurt him, millions of teenage girls are going to rip you limb from limb.”

“i know! again, i may be young, but i am not dumb,” lando had said so himself, “it’s just fun to see him when i bother him, i dunno, it’s like a fucked up little game where i see just how far to maddness i can drive him before he gives in and kisses me or something.”

that’s what he was doing. pushing lando’s buttons like that was his full time job. and that was his intention on bumping the older driver any chance he could, tapping him on the shoulder and mentally picturing the feeling of wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. in this moment though, he thought he was close to actually breaking lando, his green eyes were wide and his body was tense against oscar’s hand, not to mention that his cheeks were ferrari red and the rest of his face draining of color from the blood rush. oscar smirked.

“well come on then, we should consider going back to the hotel soon yeah?” oscar offered, waiting for lando’s reaction. the latter finally stuttered out a response that he wasn’t sure was the right answer or not.

“uh, yeah, yeah! uh, let me just get my backpack from the trailer and we can leave.”

oscar pat him on the shoulder, turned around and kept walking through the paddock to the mclaren area, waiting outside for lando to go in and grab his things. he was being cheeky on purpose and he was gonna get the outcome he had been ever so patiently waiting for.

———

lando was anxiously sitting in the chaise at the end of the bed, legs crossed under a blanket and chewing on the string of his hoodie. oscar was laying on the bed behind him on his stomach holding up his head with a pillow, purposefully so that he was level with lando. logan had recommended some weird stop motion movie to them a few days ago and they had finally gotten around to watching it. lando was acutely aware of the proximity between him and oscar and was trying not to let his anxiety get the best of him. oscar was reveling in it.

“you okay? you’ve seemed off today.” oscar mentioned, flopping himself over, hanging his head off the bed. lando looked down at him and laughed.

“fine, yes why? you’ve asked me no less than twenty times today. just because i qualified behind you doesn’t mean i’m upset, i’m very happy for you actually!” lando did his best to mask his emotions and play it off as something that wasn’t necessarily untrue. oscar was beginning to lose patience, he climbed down onto the chaise next to lando, crossing his legs so that their knees were touching and watching lando tense up again.

“i just have a feeling you aren’t telling me everything, you would tell me if something was bothering you right?”

“yes oscar, i would,” lando thought he was starting to catch on and utilised some new found some confidence, “why do you keep touching me?” it was his turn to smirk and oscar’s turn to blush.

“what are you talking about?” play it cool, oscar.

“you keep touching me, you have been for the last week at least. i was just wondering if you were clumsy or,” lando paused, confidence gone.

“or?” oscar dragged his pinky finger along lando’s knee.

“or if you like me or something.” lando’s voice had shrunk and he felt like collapsing in on himself. oscar moved his hand fully on top of lando’s leg and leaned closer.

“you’re thick headed you are, lando. i’ve been waiting to see how long it’d take you to catch on, so, i had my fun.”

“what?”

“lando. have you figured it out yet?”

“n-no?”

“do you want me to spell it out for you?”

“kinda!”

oscar cupped lando’s face and gently pulled it towards his own, connecting their lips. lando froze, his stomach filled with butterflies and the electric feeling coursing through his entire body. the elation and adrenaline was setting in, simultaneously oscar was worried he’d broken lando and began to pull away, only to be pulled in deeper by lando who threw his arms around oscar and pressed his body against the aussie. oscar tangled his fingers in lando’s hair, his other hand moving to lando’s waist. lando felt his anxiety melt away as his sole focus became the way oscar’s hands felt on his hip and in his hair, and how perfectly his lips moved against his, and the low breaths that left the younger’s breath. they weren’t sure how long they had been kissing before pulling away for a breath of air. lando leaned into oscar and clung to his side, something he had dreamed of doing for nearly two years.

“so,” lando cleared his throat, looking up at oscar who had snapped his head down in lando’s direction, a flop of hair hanging down in front of his eye, “i take it you feel the same way as i do?” oscar couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged the the corners of his mouth, he tugged lando onto his lap and kissing him again, pulling away and pressing his forehead against the latter’s.

“you don’t read social cues very well do you?”

“nope.”

“yes! i like you lando!”

“oh well that’s a relief.”

“and you really thought you could tell everyone on the grid and it wouldn’t get back to me?”

“who snitched?! was it danny? actually it was probably charles come to think of it.”

“mate. it was damn near everyone.”

“oh.”

“but yes, mostly danny.”

———

ACTIVELY TAKING REQUESTS

[speakingagain]

It's been a few days since I updated. I have been busy.

I did get fired. I didn't even cry! Does that mean I am a big girl now?

I meant that as a joke but then my brain made it dirty, whoops.

I ended up getting another job within 48 hours. I actually received two job offers, and I have another set of interviews for an even better job here next week.

All in all, I wasn't too upset. Like, yeah it sucks, I got fired over my own dumb mistake and it was a REALLY good paying job, but honestly, I didn't really enjoy the job all that much.

And the hours were shit.

Good benefits though, I'll give them that.

Today, I restarted my therapy journey. And like, real therapy, not me doing journaling and Pinterest prompts.

I had a couple realizations already. 1) I have gone almost a whole year without anything traumatic happening! (I know the bar is on the floor).

2) me getting overwhelmed and giving up on school my senior year could have very well been influenced by me getting SAed by my first boyfriend and I just didn't realize it. (Long story, don't want to get into it right now.)

And I bought my family's old van today. It's technically my first car. Technically not, because I bought a jeep with my ex husband but when I left him, I let him keep it because I couldn't afford the payments and he didn't really take care of it well and he was just using it as a way to keep me around.

But that's TWO of my goals for this year! And it's only March!!!!

I have never done like a new year resolution until this year. I frankly think they are stupid and most people don't actually follow through with them anyways.

And I suck at follow through, something my mother has made many comments about recently. Which means I am really starting to get on her nerves again, so it's good practice!

I should go look at my goal list and remember what all I put down lmao

But I'm really kind of proud of myself. I finally did something to get myself on my feet. Like, I've been working on it for a hot minute but like, my efforts are finally coming through and manifesting into shit.

Do you know how cool that is?

I've been without hope of a future for so long.

I'm 24 years old, 25 this year. Every so often, I get reminded that I never expected to make it to 17 years old. Or 18. Or 19, or 20, or any number after.

I'm so genuinely surprised I'm still alive.

And when I was with my ex, I had planned a future. I knew what I wanted it to look like.

I wanted a old white house, in a field filled with grass and wild flowers, and my dog Sable running around living her best life(still 5 years old, she is immortal in my delulu). A porch swing next to the front door, overlooking the pond on the east side of the property. The whole place is surrounded by dense and dark green trees. A simple brown fence, around the front porch and walkway to the road dividing the property.

I knew what my fairytale home looked like. I never once planned on how to get there.

Today, I'm learning accountability, discipline, and hard work. Today, I made a step forward to having my dream life. Today, I worked towards improving myself.

Today, I planned the path I needed to get from point A to point Fairytale Dream House.

That's so weird to me.

And not to be super dramatic, but I genuinely think that today is the day that I made a major change in my life. Today, is the first day of the rest of my life.

Sounds sappy, I know. But, there's so much shit in the world that makes it so hard to want to get old. It's so hard to want to see a future, let alone plan for one.

So yeah, it's the first day of the rest of my life. Fight my sappy ass.

[teklarn]

hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')

would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.

it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 

genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 

warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 

word count: 3,859 

(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 

- - - 

part 2 is here my loves <3

brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 

what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 

it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 

just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 

his leg was bouncing eagerly. 

bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 

you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 

“y/n! come look at this!” 

you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 

it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 

“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 

all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 

that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 

you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 

deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 

“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 

“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 

“holy—” 

“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 

“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 

dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 

your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 

his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 

she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 

his eyes bore into yours. 

“did you...need something?” 

your voice broke his trance. 

“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 

bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 

it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 

“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 

he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 

soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 

late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 

“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”

the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 

“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 

this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 

bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 

unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 

“shitty hair, let go of me.” 

“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 

bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 

bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 

“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 

“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 

luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 

bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 

- 

“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 

denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 

“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 

denki sighed, slumping back. 

dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 

yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 

aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 

todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 

the brunette grinned. “great!” 

the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 

“bakugou.” 

bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 

“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 

you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 

it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 

bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 

“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 

“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 

you laughed. “what?” 

“shut up.” 

“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 

“i said shut the hell up!”

“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 

so you had heard him! 

he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 

“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 

gosh he loved that about you. 

bakugou caught his thought in the air. 

ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 

you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 

he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 

purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 

he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.�� 

your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 

the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 

bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 

that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 

you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 

it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 

another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 

he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 

you stood over him, hands on your hips. 

vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 

“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 

“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 

“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 

you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 

- 

the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 

bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 

you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 

“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 

you barely grunted in response. 

“don’t ignore me.” 

“i heard you, mom.” 

“the hell did you call me?” 

no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 

“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 

“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 

it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 

the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 

“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 

you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 

“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 

“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 

“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 

“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 

“you’re annoying.” 

“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 

- 

the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.

you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 

landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 

bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 

it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 

it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 

the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 

you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 

you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 

you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 

you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 

“fight me again,” he demanded. 

“excuse me?” 

“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 

“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 

“so?”

“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 

“you’re being stubborn.” 

“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 

“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 

“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 

bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 

“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 

-

it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 

“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 

“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 

“dude...that sounds really weird.” 

“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 

- 

the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 

gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 

bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 

bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 

perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 

what was so...amazing about deku? 

it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 

you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 

sixty. percent.

bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 

you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 

his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 

“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 

he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 

bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 

you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 

his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 

in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 

“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 

“okay? is that it?” 

what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 

“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  

“...what?” 

gosh dammit, as friends? 

“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 

although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 

this earned a snicker from you. 

his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 

your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 

“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 

he swallowed. 

you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 

he leaned closer. “yes?” 

“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 

it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 

“oh, alright.” 

“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 

it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 

perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 

right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 

[biisexualemma]

pretend pt.3. oscar diaz

word count: 1583

warnings: not really, a little sad and angsty, a bit of language but happy ending dw!

requested: 'Pretend pt.3?'

plot: oscar loves you, but you’re not convinced it can work

a/n: um thank u to those few who have waited literal months for this last part! i am struggling to write oscar atm but it’s here! and i hope you like it! oop ‘cause i kinda hate this and it took me months to figure out how to end this— anyway it’s here lol read and lmk what you think even if ye hate it

pt.1. / pt.2.

masterlist

"i think i'm falling in love with you."

you blinked, the rest of your body seemed frozen for a moment afterwards. that had been the last thing you'd ever expected from him. you could feel your head throbbing, whether it'd been from the aftermath of the party, or just your mind trying to keep up with what was happening. you furrowed your brows, your hand retracting from his palm, pushing yourself back against the seat of his car.

you couldn't process his words fast enough to respond straight away. instead you shifted your gaze out through the windshield, your mouth opening and closing every couple of seconds. you didn't know how to answer him.

oscar was watching your every move, his stomach twisting when you pulled away from him. your expression was changing ever so slightly every second, he could see you processing the information. he gulped, suddenly thinking the worst, shifting his eyes down to the space between you two. he should have kept his mouth shut and sat on his feelings. he should have let you out of the arrangement and left it at that. he hadn't thought any of this through. you had given no inclination over the past few weeks that you'd felt the same way. you were just helping out a friend.

you cleared your throat after a long silence. "you think?" your voice was still pretty quiet, like your mind was still working through what he'd said. "you don't know if you love me or not?" you were trying to make sense of it in your head, not able to meet his eyes yet.

"y/n—"

"i just think that's something you should be sure about before saying it out loud," you gulped. you were kind of annoyed with him for telling you this. a little part of you inside wanted to revel in his words, the part of you that had been in love with him for years when you were younger. but you'd moved on. you would have never had agreed to do his fake dating scheme if you'd thought you'd fall back into those feelings, you knew you wouldn't be able to put yourself through that again.

you had loved oscar for a long time, and you watched him for years treat women like they were nothing. delusional, you thought you were different and that oscar would never treat you this way, you clung to him. it took a long time for you to accept the reality, to fall out of love with him and realise he would only ever see you as a friend.

so oscar's confession now, wasn't as simple as you feeling the same way or not, it was far more complicated.

"the past few weeks weren't real oscar," you reminded him, you felt like he needed it. "you don't love me— you just love how i've been treating you. if you loved me, it wouldn't've taken you this long to realise."

he shook his head. "i was an idiot," you shifted so you were facing him again, watching how his eyes darted between yours desperately. "i was really fucking stupid— i didn't— i don't want to go back to how it was. i can't."

you shook your head barely, your eyes closing for a split second. oscar had been your best friend for years and he'd never lie to you like this. you just didn't want it to be true.

"i've seen firsthand how you are with girls, oscar. and i don't wanna pretend that you see me any differently—"

"no— this isn't— it's not the same," he was pleading at this point, desperately, feeling you slip away. "y/n, you know me," his eyebrows furrowed but his voice was soft, you didn't often hear him talk like this. it was hard to not get wrapped up in his words. "this ain't like those other girls."

you held his stare, breaking it only for a second when you felt your throat tighten. you couldn't bring yourself to fall into it, something was holding you back. it was too much to have him sat in front of you, begging you to believe him when it was too late.

"oscar, i loved you for a long time," your voice was quiet, all those years your feelings went unrequited. "and you fucked girl after girl, and i watched thinking one day you'd pick me and it'd be different but you never did, and it never was."

his lips were pursed, his hand gripping the seat of his car, knuckles white. he could hear the waver in your voice and it was hitting him like a brick. he ignored you for years, oblivious to anything you felt for him. he didn't realise, until now, how awful you must have felt.

"so, i'm sorry, if i'm not ready and willing," you tried to play off your confession, feeling the lump in your throat grow larger the longer this was strung out. "but i have been telling myself for years to move on— so it feels a bit late for you to be having this realisation when i've loved you my whole life."

he nodded. he understood, of course he did. he couldn't ask you to reverse years of heartbreak because he realised too late that you were the only thing that really mattered. he would just have to live with his mistake.

his eyebrows had knitted tighter together after sitting and listening. "if i could take back some of the shit i've done— mami— i'm sorry."

"yeah, well, me too," you shrugged, your lips tightening. you gulped when he shifted his hand over to yours, letting your palm set on top of his. he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. you were quiet for a while, enjoying the warmth of his hand against yours, finding comfort in his touch for just a little while longer.

"what made you realise?" you were almost whispering when you spoke again, everything was so quiet now.

oscar had to force himself to look at you. it was dark but the light from the streetlamp illuminated just half of your face, your eyes glossy. he clenched his jaw before speaking. "i talked to my ex."

"you did?" surprised he'd waited this long to bring it up. that had been the end goal all this time.

he nodded gently, his grip loosened on your hand, his thumb grazing the back of your hand now. his eyes were drawn to your hands, while your eyes remained on him. "yeah— made me realise she just wasn't you," he refused to shift his gaze. as did you. you felt your chest tighten. his sincerity made everything feel wrong about your decision.

"'cause you— you have these freckles on your nose that only come out in the sun," you watched the corner of his lips tug into a small smile as the image of you, sitting in front of him, sun in your eyes and wind blowing through your hair flashed through his mind. "and you make the same face every time you tell me off— your nose scrunches and you get a crease on your forehead," your eyes drooped listening to him talk as openly and honestly as you'd ever heard him talk about anything. it wasn't a side you saw often, but you could feel yourself soften, and your defence weaken. "and cesar— you love him like he's your own brother— i love that— that kid is everything to me— and he is to you too."

he huffed, the smile slipping from his face when he drew himself out of his head. he pulled away from you finally to run a hand over his face. he was angry with himself for messing this up. "and you're never gonna' forgive me," his heart was beating harder with the thought of losing you. "and i'm on' lose my mind without you."

you were quiet for a while, soaking in his words.

you hesitated, but moved your hand to his shoulder, your fingers grazing his skin, moving to the nape of his neck, urging him to look at you again. edging closer, you rid of the space between you two. oscar's eyes moved between yours, his eyebrows furrowed together softly. you moved both hands to his neck, carefully edging his face closer, your breath fanning against his lips before you kissed him.

oscar reacted, his body shifting closer to yours, his hand grazing your thigh to pull you nearer. your mind was racing, your hands curling around his neck and cupping his face as you leaned into the kiss. you were breathless when you pulled back, finally. his hand gripping your thigh now, scared you might retreat to the passenger seat again.

"you keep talking like that and i might love you forever," you mumbled, almost incoherent. your mind was foggy from this kiss and all you could feel was his thumb was now grazing softly over your thigh. his free had lifted, his forefinger and thumb touching your chin, tilting your head up so your eyes stayed locked with his.

"i swear, i'm in this until you don't want me anymore."

you shook your head, you bit your lip remembering the kiss. your eyes trailing to his lips again as you remembered the feeling. "never gonna happen."

oscar cracked a soft smile, his fingers moving to trace your jawline gently. "it's settled then."

you revelled in his touch, letting him trace over your skin, slowly feeling yourself lean further into his embrace. he pressed his lips against your forehead, lingering for a minute before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. you tilted your chin up, kissing him for a second before pulling back again.

oscar's hand slipped from your jawline to the back of your neck, pulling you back and kissing you again. his lips moved softly against yours, for a few seconds until you reacted and kissed back. when he pulled away for air you felt yourself longing for more.

[miss-smutty]

Brothers - Chapter 11

Unforgiven

Summary- You're hit with the bombshell of Chris coming home after a month away and after he left you questioning everything, completely heartbroken. How were you meant to confront him after so long?

Word count- 2K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader

Warnings- Swearing, a smidgen of violence

18+ only!

Posted: 3rd August 2021

Taglist:- @everything-is-awesomesauce @nicolemt23 @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires

Brothers Masterlist <<<

You haven't felt like this about anyone for a very long time and Chris has just made your fear of rejection all too real. You couldn't help the way you felt about him though, still feel about him. You love him and he'd told you he loved you, you'd felt it when he'd said it, you'd seen the look in his eye. So why were you even questioning it? 

In the morning you finally felt the courage to check your phone - Liam had stayed with you all night until you'd calmed down enough to go to bed when the sun had rised and you were no longer taunted by your demons in the dark.

There's multiple text messages and missed calls filling up the screen of your phone. 

I'm sorry I had to leave like that, are you ok? Xx

Read the first one. Your eyes scanned over the rest, mostly saying the same thing.

Y/N please answer. Let me explain myself. I didn't have time to speak to Liam about it all right then and I didn't want to leave on a bombshell.

His excuses made you feel sick to your stomach. You could understand why he did it but there were much better ways for him to go about it that wouldn't have left you feeling heartbroken.

You sighed heavily, putting your phone back onto your bedside table a little bit too forcibly and sinking back into your feather pillows. If you gave in to your impulses you would've text him back straight away but knowing deep down that would be the wrong thing to do, you restrained yourself. It took willpower but you just about managed, he'd made you feel like shit there was no way you were going to forgive him so easily.

*********

As the weeks passed by it became more and more difficult to ignore Chris, he wasn't giving up without a fight which admittedly made you feel a little bit better. You'd ignored him for so long it had become a habit and the fact he wasn't giving in told you he definitely did care about you but he'd made a major mistake and you were going to make him pay.

"Have you spoke to Chris yet?" Liam asked you over lunch. 

"Nope." A sly smile played on your lips, you were kind of enjoying making Chris sweat but you'd never admit it.

"Maybe you should, he's been blowing my phone up trying to get in contact with you. You do know he's coming home this week?"

"What? You stopped with your fork in front of your lips, eyes wide. "No I did not know that, has it been a month already?"

"Uh-huh, and its gonna be massively fucking awkward for me if you two are still arguing." 

"We're not arguing..." You brush your hair behind your ear, sitting up straight in your chair. " We're not even speaking." 

The thought of Chris coming home fills you with dread and excitement all at the same time. You're so excited to see his face and yet dreading the thought of having to deal with your problems.

"When will he be home?" You ask, trying to be casual.

"I don't know, he just said this week. I haven't exactly been speaking to him myself, I'm still pissed off with him."

"And you didn't think to ask what day?.and why are you pissed off? He didn't do anything to you." Your voice was a little too high, it always was when you panicked. Chris could come home at any minute and you weren't mentally prepared for it.

"No, but don't you think him hurting you effects me? You've had a face like a slapped ass for a month for a start and if you want to know so badly why don't you call him?" Liam raised his eyebrows at you, unamused at the whole messenger thing he had going on.

"Pfft, I can't." You push your bowl of food away, suddenly not very hungry anymore. "It's been so long I wouldn't even know what to say." 

"Your drama is honestly making me go grey." Liam runs his hand through his hair, looking at you with raised eyebrows.

"I think you'd look pretty good as a silver fox." You tease.

"I would but still, please sort it out." He gives you the glare. "Anyway, I'm going to have a little get together tonight. You up for it?" 

"A get together or a party?" 

"Well you know how it usually goes, it starts off as a get together but usually turns in to a party." 

"Exactly, well I'm off out with the girls so we'll be there later." 

You finished up your meals, Liam refusing for you to pay as usual, he was such a gentleman, you really wish his brother was a little bit more like him in that way. 

*********

You help Liam greet his guests, smiling and mingling as you go. The ratio of women to men doesn't suprise you one bit, Liam was newly single after all but you roll your eyes anyway after leading yet another group of girls through to the living room.

You watched Liam greeting the girls with the most genuine smile on his face than you'd seen in a while, he was happy, finally and it brought you great pleasure.

Your heart stops beating when you hear Chris's distinctive Australian accent carry above the noise in the room, you can feel his eyes burning into your back as you turn around to find him. Your tummy fluttering when your eyes meet, unable to hide how much you've actually missed him from your face. He smiles sheepishly at you making your tummy somersault, excusing himself politely from the group of girls that had circled around him and making his way over to you, when Liam steps in his way, blocking his path.

"I don't want to make a scene here but you've got some serious explaining to do." Liam says sternly.

"I know... I... I wasn't honest with you before I left." 

"That's putting it lightly. Y/N told me everything." You watched the exchange between the brothers, your nerves going into overdrive. You could hear Liam's friend talking to you but you weren't focusing on him, his words just a distant noise, your attention solely on the brothers. Brothers who looked like they were about to fight. Because of you.

"What are you, her bodyguard? If there's anyone I need to answer to it's Y/N, are you gunna let me past?" You watched as Chris' jaw tensed, the muscles in his neck becoming more prominent and you knew things were getting heated.

"If you're gunna treat her like shit Chris then yeah I am, the manly thing to do was come clean. It was a pussy move and you know it." People were starting to watch and your cheeks were burning but you were routed to the spot. Unable to move all you could do was stare blankly.

"Are you calling me a pussy?"

"Yeah, I'm calling you a fucking pussy." Liam shoved Chris square in his chest, he barely moved but his jaw clenched together, the tendons in his neck straining with rage.

Why, why, why were you stood watching this and not doing something about it? Your two favourite people in the whole world were about to fight each other and you're stood watching like it's a fucking soap opera.

You could see Chris thinking, debating about what he should do. Should he give his brother a free pass - he did deserve it, or should he fight back - he'd already called him a pussy he didn't want people actually believing it. 

He decided to let it go, moving past him to get to you when Liam shoved him again, this time he wasn't expecting it and almost fell over, recovered himself and then went for Liam. Your mouth hung open, your legs started moving before you registered what was happening.

"Stop! Please stop!" You screamed, Liam's friends coming to the rescue and holding them both back. Tears in your eyes at the thought of them fighting each other

You looked up at Liam's friend holding Chris back. "It's ok, I've got him." You took Chris by the hand, leading him away from Liam, weaving through the crowd that had gathered, pissed off that they'd caused such a scene in public but you needed to get them away from each other so they could both calm down.

Chris walked into your room and you closed the door behind him, resting your head against it for a minute.

"What the fuck was that?" You question, turning around to face him.

"Don't ask me, what exactly did you say to Liam while I was gone?" 

"Are you really trying to blame me? I told him the truth Chris, like you should've done." He hung his head in shame. His elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Yeah I know but let me explain."

"I haven't got time for it now." You start shuffling through your wardrobe. "I need to get ready." You say with your back to him.

"Ready for what?"

"I'm going out with the girls." You turn around slowly, looking at him, taking him all in. You've missed him so much, why does he have to be so damn attractive.

Then he gives you that sexy smile and your knees almost cave but you remind yourself of the things he said, willing yourself to stay angry with him.

"Do you have to go? I've only just got back." You start going through your wardrobe, if you had your back to him you could distract yourself from the heavy sexual tension between you. The need to run up to him and wrap you legs around him, telling him all was forgiven while you kissed every inch of his damn fine body. 

"Yeah I'm going. You don't get to treat me like that and then just come back and act like nothings happened." 

"Y/N can you please stop being so stupid, this is ridiculous." He said sitting down on the end of your bed with his head in his hands.

"I'm being stupid? Are you for real?" You take off your clothes until you're left in just your underwear, turning around to look at him with your hands on your hips.

"Ok sorry that was the wrong thing to say, I've been trying to speak to you every day for a month. Did you not miss me?" He looks up, his eyes widening when he sees you in your underwear.

"You're always saying the wrong thing aren't you?" Now can you leave, I need to get ready and I want to do it in peace." You point to the door, your hand falling limply by your side when you watch Chris licking his lips, his eyes focusing everywhere but your face.

"Do you have to go? I think I can find a way of making you forgive me." 

"You can't just fuck your way outta this one Chris, I'm not a toy for you to do as you please with." 

"You're so hot when you're angry... I'm really trying not to fuck you senseless right now." He bites on his fist watching your anger falter.

"We're just friends aren't we?" You say rather bitterly

"We're not just friends and you fucking know it, friends don't do this shit -" he says as he moves in front of you, his hands wrapping around you and resting on your plump cheeks. "I told you I loved you and I fucking meant it. Can we please forget what I said? I didn't think about it until after I'd said it and I tried to call you straight away to apologize."

"Do what?" You reply trying to keep your calm as his hands electrify your body.

He cups your ass and lifts you into his arms, you instinctively wrap your legs around his hard torso. He lays you back onto the bed and kisses you deep, his tongue desperately finding yours as he thrusts his bulge into your tingling pussy. Your body betrays you as you let out a low moan, you feel him groan from deep inside as his prehistoric nature takes over.

"That." he says breathlessly.

"I'm still going out tonight but I'll be back later." You say between him kissing down your neck, savouring every last inch of your taste. "You can think about how you can make it up to me while I'm gone and before that you better go grovel to Liam, I think he's even more pissed off than me."

"Oh baby, you're not even going to know your own name by the time I'm finished with you never mind anything else." 

"This doesn't mean you're forgiven, this means I'm giving you a chance." 

[fezcosbitch]

JJ MAYBANK IMAGINE:

PASSION AND WILD REGRET 2

After a few requests, here’s the second part to passion and wild regret

you can read part 1 here

if the link doesn't work please tell me! x

I hope you enjoy ❤️

You can request if you want x

Warnings: Angst, hella angst. Also the pogues (kie) are rude in this one like...RUDE. Reader is confrontational and not gonna lie, i’m here for it, like I wish I could do this. also if you like Kie... you about to not like Kie, shes a bit off the rails, mega jealous ex here.

All feedback’s welcome, as long as its not mean or rude 💙

So yeah, hopefully you enjoy❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 2:57 when i woke up the following morning, or evening, and i had absolutely no clue what to  do with myself. I had an immense headache, and a deep pain in my heart. How could they do that? say that? You had been there for them all, through everything. Yet somehow they decide to say all that about you. You were there for Kie when she was at her lowest point, you found her in the bathrooms with Sarah, yet when Sarah left, you stayed, and she never saw it. When John B felt like he would never fit in, and you were the only one (apart from JJ) who stuck by him. Or pope, who, for preparation for his college interview wanted someone to revise with so he wouldn’t be lonely for hours on end, and when everyone opted to surf and sun tan instead of help him, you were the one to stay behind and assist him in his studies, while you could’ve been outside in the summer, tanning and surfing. And  then JJ, the person who undoubtedly hurt you the most. You were there for him all the time. Throughout all the beatings his dad gave him. And all the angry times he almost threw his life away by getting arrested. You saved him from so much, and yet he repays you by saying you’re too much for him, and not worth him.

You couldn’t stand having these thoughts festering around in your mind, so decided that the best thing would be to confront the pogues, and ask why they thought what they did. You hopped in your car and drove over to the chateau, ready to either make or break all your supposed friendships.

Pulling up to the chateau, You saw all the pogues sitting around the porch, talking about something you couldn’t hear. After you’ve stepped out your car, you slam the door shut and lock it, as all the pogues heads turn to look at you. JJ immediately gets up and heads towards you, while the rest of the pogues stand up behind him.

“oh baby I-” JJ started, tears brimming in his eyes already just wanting to apologize over and over again. “don’t even JJ, don’t even start” you said , shaking your head at him “I-” he tried again desperate for you to hear what he wanted to say. “NO JJ, NO. You don’t get to speak over me ok? none of you do. I cant believe you guys i mean, how dare you. I’ve done nothing but stick by you! all of you! yet you repay me like this? wow, Thanks guys I really appreciate that yeah. Just, I can’t believe all of you.” You quickly let out, looking at all of them

“I DIDN’T AGREE WITH THEM BABY I SWEAR” JJ bursts out, desperate for you to forgive him. “what?” you question, immediately wanting to know if this is true. “ I-I-I don’t know what you heard but I never agreed to what they said,I would never, please baby believe me, I know you’ve done so much for me, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, I argued fully with them all night, I never once agreed, please take me back.” JJ begged, now directly in front of you grasping onto your hands. “is this true?” you asked the rest of the pogues behind him, desperate to find out if it was true or not, desperately wanting someone on your side. All the pogues solemnly nodded, proving to you that JJ did in fact argue against his friends. You looked him dead in the eye “of course i’ll take you back idiot, i kind of stormed of halfway through, didn’t get to hear what you said” you told him smiling through your tears of joy due to knowing that JJ did in fact fight for you. you quickly take him in your arms and hold him tight, “I’m so sorry” you whispered, knowing it must of been hard for him to read the letter you left him. “It’s ok” he whispered back, lightly kissing your shoulder. In that moment you both knew you were never going to let go of each other again, and that if needed, you’d swim entire oceans to be together. 

In all of that chaos you had forgotten the pogues behind you, who you initially came here for. Breaking out of the hug between you and JJ, you turn to face them with all your pent up anger ready to be unleashed, and knowing JJ was safely with you, and prepared to go to the end of the earth with you, you felt ready to take on whatever your ‘friends’ say to you. 

“What about you guys then?” you started off. “What was that all about? all the ‘Y/ns not good enough for you’, and the ‘she’ll only bring you down’ what was all that?” you questioned looking around at all three of them “Its our honest thoughts” Kie spoke up, making you turn to look at her. “really?” you questioned, cocking one eyebrow. “yeah” she responded, crossing her arms. “boys?” you asked, wanting to see if they agreed. John B was the first to nod his head, almost instantly, and pope slowly after, agreeing with his statement. “wow... All my friends hate me.” you whistled, slowly coming to the full realization. JJ grasped your hand, to remind you that he was there for you. “We don’t hate you y/n... we just hate you and JJ being together” John B backed Kiara up, acting as if it was the most obvious thing ever. “why bro? why can’t you just be happy for us?” JJ questioned from behind you, genuinely curious “ because bro, Shes a bad influence. She doesn’t care bro, not about you, us, anyone man why can’t you see that? sure shes cool and stuff and shes a fun friend but that’s all she should ever be” John B ranted. “ What the fuck bro? All of you think that? wow. So everything I’ve ever done for you guys is washed away by some dumb mistakes right? I do some drugs and SHIT I’m the worst person in the world right? everything I’ve ever done forgotten because of some things I do when I’m drunk right?” you questioned all at once, trying to show them how stupid they were being. “Yes” Kiara responds. “Yes because we don’t know what else you’ll do. First it’s molly, next its what? METH?” Kiara stressed. “You’re unreliable, and God knows what you could get JJ into.” she finished. “wha- Kie why are you SO scared about what JJ could get into man? Like what?  I’d never hurt him, or do anything like that, I love him man, so what are you so worried about?” you ranted, confused by Kies emotions. Of course you understood her worry for her friends. but she didn’t say that about John B, or Pope, so why JJ? “BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM! YOU NEVER DID” Kie fully lets out. Ah, you understood now. “You jealous Kiara?” you questioned? “you want JJ yeah? want him to be with you, so now everything I do apparently is more of a reason for him to be with you yeah?” you finally said, having worked out why she was so angry. Kie and the rest of the pogues were silent at your discovery. “wait, what about you guys?” you questioned the two boys. “well uhh, Kie kinda told us you may have cheated on J”

your jaw dropped. 

“THE FUCK KIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” you were shocked at the lies she was spilling. “ WELL YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM ANYWAY, THE MORE PEOPLE THAT SEE THAT MAYBE THE MORE HE’LL REALIZE IT, WHO CARES IF THERE’S A COUPLE OF LIES” all of you stood there shocked at what Kie just said. “ the fuck-” JJ started, shocked out of his mind that Kie would say something like that. “ I can’t even. Don’t talk to me Kiara, don’t even approach me until i say so, oh and sort out your major jealousy problem, it’s not cute honey” you said while getting in your car, waiting for JJ to enter in the passenger side. After J got in, you started the car and rolled down your window, “oh and I forgive you boys, i understand why you did it, so like don’t worry. Sort it out Kie, love” you sarcastically grinned and waved to her as you drove away.

“Jesus Christ” you said to JJ “you know I’d never cheat on you don’t you?” you questioned just to make sure. “no of course i know you wouldn’t, its just, the fuck was that with Kie like, what even?” JJ responded. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I forgive John B and Pope cause like, obviously, they were lied to and lead to believe all that but like. How can she be so jealous man?” you questioned, genuinely curious about how one person could be so jealous of another. “I don’t know baby, I don’t know” J responded while kissing your hand.

even though you were away from it all, one question played on your mind...why would she do that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah... Kie did that.

What were your thoughts? Please tell me ! 💙

Part 3 anyone? If so please tell me x

Sorry for the long wait x

And also sorry if it’s bad ❤️

But yeah that was that how do you feel about it?

All feedbacks welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean💙

But yeah, cya

People who wanted to be tagged :

@mrsmaybank18 (Wouldn’t let me tag you :( )

@captainwinterwriter @ifilwtmfc @hurricane-abigail

@thenextteen

[killmyluck]

Drarry #14

Prompt: Fake dating game AU where the loser is the person who falls in love first.

“Potter, I can’t do this anymore."

Draco watched as Harry stopped fiddling with his tie and frowned. “Huh?” Harry asked, bewildered.

Draco lifted his head and met Harry’s eyes in the mirror. “I can’t do it."

Harry tilted his head. He turned around and walked over to Draco, flopping down beside him on the bed. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He grabbed Draco’s hands, squeezing them softly. 

Draco felt his heart squeeze right with them. He pulled his hands back as if he’d been burned, almost regretting it as soon as he saw Harry look like a kicked puppy. Draco took a deep breath. “Potter, it’s over. The game. You won." 

Harry knitted his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“The game, Potter."

“What game-“ 

Draco watched as Harry’s mouth shifted into a small “o”. Was it possible that Harry had actually... forgotten? “Potter, don’t tell me you actually forgot about...”

Harry looked stunned. A silence stretched across them. “I- I did. I did forget. At some point."

Fuck. This was going to make it so much harder. Potter didn’t even care. “Well, you won the game. I lost. Congratulations. I suppose we can move on with our lives now." 

Draco startled as Harry suddenly grabbed Draco’s wrist, sitting up straight. “You don’t mean that... you..." Harry’s eyes widened and he smiled. He gave a disbelieving snort. “Merlin! You actually fell in-“ 

Draco interrupted him. Fuck his gloating. “Yes, Potter,” Draco spat. “I actually fell in love with you." And as he said the words, his heart ached. Ached such a deep and steady burn from knowing the person he loved would never love him back. “You’re the winner. I suppose you think of me as quite stupid."

Harry then frowned and his hands twitched, itching to reach out to Draco’s hands again. “I would never think of you as stupid, Draco."

Draco scoffed. “You knew you’d win all along." 

“Well... sure, I- I guess I thought I would, but-“

“Well there you go." Draco rolled his eyes, feigning cool indifference. He couldn’t bear it if Potter saw him lose his composure. “Congratulations again, Potter." 

“No, wait, Draco-“

Draco thought if he would stay here any moment longer, his heart would burn up his chest. He stood up to leave. “I’ll get going now. We had fun, didn’t we?”

“Draco-“

He forged on. “We fooled everyone. Honestly, that’s impressive in itself, isn’t it? But it’s over now." He was rambling. Shit. 

“Goodbye." Against his own will, he turned his head to give Harry a strained smile.

“WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?”

Draco leaped back, eyes wide with shock. His hands scrambled behind him, eventually clutching onto a nearby desk. 

“Shit, I’m sorry ba- I’m sorry, Draco. Shit! I’m sorry,” Harry babbled. “I’m so sorry, I just wanted you to hear what I had to say and it looked like you were gonna Apparate at any moment."

Well. Draco snorted internally. He wasn’t wrong. 

“Could you please just come back to the bed and listen to me? Just give me three minutes."

Draco glanced up at Harry’s pleading, desperate eyes. He looked away. “Fine."

Draco slowly trudged over to the bed and sat down, a good two feet away from Harry.

“Thank you." Harry sighed, running his hands through his disheveled hair. “I- Draco."

“Yes?” 

“Would you please look at me?”

Draco gritted his teeth. Ignoring his pounding heart, he shifted his body slightly towards Harry. Then moved his gaze up towards Harry’s imploring face. “Hurry up, Potter."

As Draco said the name, Harry winced. It was the first time in a long time that Draco had spat his last name out with such malice. “Okay. I- You’re right. I did forget we had started a game. But, if you think about it, isn’t that sort of a good thing? We had such..." Harry flushed as his mind flashed to the several occasions that Draco had slammed him up against the wall. “...nice moments together that I completely forgot what we were doing was a game. Isn’t it good? I’ve gotten so close to you, and our relationship wasn’t even about a competition anymore. To me. I don’t know if it was a competition for you." Harry frowned.

Draco had never wanted to strangle anyone more. “I don’t know if you forgot, Potter, but one of us is fucking in love with the other. The whole point of the game was for the loser to be the one to fall in love first! Do you think it was about the competition for me?” Draco closed his eyes, breathing heavily. “Do you think I fell in love with you and lost for the spirit of competition? Fuck you." Draco could see hurt flit across Harry’s face. Good. It would make it easier for him. For both of them.

Draco glared at Harry with all the venom he could muster. “Believe me when I say I never forgot about the game. You made sure to remind me of that. Every fucking day."

“What?” Harry gaped. “When did I-“

“Forget it, Potter." Draco waved away any response that Harry could make. “Are we done here?” His heart clenched again, nausea rolling in the pits of his stomach. 

Draco saw Harry scrunching his nose, thinking about how to proceed. Horribly endearing. “Okay, but don’t you see? That means at some point, neither of us were continuing our relationship for the sake of the game. We just enjoyed each other’s company. I don’t see why we can’t continue that now. I’m not really sure why you’re so worked up over this."

Draco stared at Harry. Was he pretending to be an idiot? His faint smile told Draco he was being dead serious. Draco stood up and crossed the distance between them. He grabbed Harry’s tie and pulled him in until their faces were mere millimeters apart. He could see every eyelash, every freckle, every brown fleck in Harry’s green eyes. Probably for the last time. 

Draco licked his lips. “In case you still haven’t gotten the message yet-“ He shoved Harry on the chest, landing him back flat on the bed with a soft thump. Harry looked both dazed and concerned. 

Fuck him. Fuck him and his stupid expression, fuck him. Draco grabbed Harry’s tie again and leaned over Harry’s body until their faces were close once more and he was almost touching Harry’s chest. 

Draco swallowed. “I am in love with you, Harry James Potter. Every second hurts. It hurts to be around you, the whole fucking fake relationship hurts. For someone in love, you don’t think that... this is going to hurt?” His hand clutched Harry’s tie even tighter. “I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you, but I can’t see you anymore. A gay man in love with a straight man who doesn’t love him back in a fake relationship- what kind of sick joke is that? Do you now see why we can’t continue this?” 

Suddenly, Draco felt drained. He released Harry’s tie and nearly staggered back onto his feet. Almost immediately, Harry sat up again. 

“Draco."

He was tired. “What, Potter."

“Who said only one of us is in love?”

Draco frowned. “What? What are you-“

“I’m in love with you too."

Draco actually did stagger back this time. I’m in love with you too. Weren’t they the words he had always wanted to hear? He had dreamed of hearing them for so long. And yet now, after actually hearing them, the words felt like a punch in the gut. 

Draco laughed mirthlessly. “No you’re not."

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Yes I am."

“No, you’re not. Stop saying that." Draco shook his head. What a joke. A cruel one at that, too. “You can’t be." 

For the first time in the entire conversation, Draco saw Harry look angry. Furious, even. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what I’m feeling. I’m in love with you."

Draco swallowed, hard. “You- you..." He trailed off. His voice was trembling.

And he supposed Harry must have heard that, because his expression softened. “Draco, I’ve been in love with you for a while now. Why do you think I asked why we couldn’t continue the relationship? It would never have been to hurt you, to selfishly continue without any regards for how you felt. I’m in love with you, too."

Draco couldn’t think. “But- but you asked if I was actually in love with you. With that fucking smile. To mock me."

“To confirm, Draco. I didn’t think you were in love with me, but once you told me..." Harry looked down and smiled. “I mean, I thought it was so clear that I was in love with you. That’s why I was so confused why you didn’t want to continue. I wouldn’t have kept asking if I didn’t feel the same way."

Draco felt small. “Oh." 

“Yeah." Harry smiled. “Now we both know."

Draco still couldn’t believe it. And maybe it was sheer stupidity, or distrust, but the word tumbled amount of his mouth before he could stop it. “No."

“What?” Harry’s smile faltered.

“No." Draco’s hands flew to his temples, massaging furiously. “This is too sudden. I just... I need you to be sure. This feels like a dream, and I’m going to crash a thousand times higher if I let myself get hurt again."

“Draco." Harry sounded increasingly frustrated. “Draco." 

Draco refused to look up, afraid of seeing what Harry’s expression would tell. He heard a soft shuffling make its way across the bed to him, and he watched as Harry  took his hands. This time, Draco let him. Harry gave a gentle squeeze, and Draco gave a small squeeze back. 

“Look, Po- Harry. I just need you to be sure. Just... let’s be apart for a little while. For a week."

At Harry’s sound of protest, Draco looked up at him. “This isn’t just for you. It’s for me, too. To process everything. But I just need to be sure that by the end of that week, you’re still,” Draco gulped. “Still in love with me."

Harry frowned, staying silent and absentmindedly tracing a finger over Draco’s knuckles. Draco’s heart ached again. 

“Please, Harry. Just to make sure this isn’t a leftover effect of the fake relationship or... or just that you’re mistaking something else for love. Just for a week, and then we can talk again about this. Okay?” Draco squeezed Harry’s fingers experimentally, and immediately Harry squeezed back. 

“But Draco, I-“ Harry clenched his jaw. Silence dripped between the spaces, filling them up with a deafening quiet and Draco kept squeezing Harry’s hands tighter and tighter until at last Harry spoke.

“Okay." He didn’t look happy at all, but Draco was glad he agreed. 

“Alright. Thank you." Draco gently pried his fingers from Harry’s and stepped back. “I’ll see you later then."

Harry’s eyes widened. “What? Already?”

Draco bit his lips to hold back a smile. “Yes, already."

Harry looked crushed. “I- okay. Okay, see you."

Draco looked down. “Goodbye." He wished he had something else to say, but there really wasn’t much left. He closed his eyes, envisioned his bedroom in the Manor, and apparated with a pop. 

[janiedean]

10 year prompts: FAIRY TALE AU FOR STANNIS E DAVOS <3 If any of your other OTPs acts as a background/helpers "because they have been there" it would be lovely, especially since they are all different takes on the Beauty and the Beast story. But also because it would be really fun to see idk, Sandor trying to give Davos dating advice "as someone who was in Stannis position before". Thank you so much for accepting prompts!

HELLO ANON have uh... the pseudo cinderella reverse au of doom that I don't know where it's from, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT pls presume every westeros kingdom is separated for this and same sex marriage is allowed

buy me a coffee | commissions open

1.

"Well, it seems like we are at an impasse, and I need you to fucking compromise," Robert says, and Stannis has to stop himself from gritting his teeth loudly.

"I am not," Stannis replies, "compromising on this."

"You do realize," Robert says, "that -"

"That according to whichever stupid law your precious Westeros council still hasn't managed to change when they have damned well should -"

"You know it's not a priority -"

"Of course for the seven of you it's not a priority," Stannis groans, "but I do know that if I don't get married Renly can't marry his precious Loras Tyrell either, and for the umpteenth time, as I did compromise years ago and I had to marry someone I didn't even like and who didn't like me and we all know how it ended up, you can forget I will compromise on marrying the first person you find suitable especially when I'm not sure they would be kind to my daughter, and I'm not making that mistake again."

"Oh, come on, you're being unreasonable -"

"Robert, no woman in Westeros actually wants someone with my background and I'm not subjecting my daughter to someone who hates her, and I'm not backing down on that."

"And what if I found some woman who did?"

"I am not marrying anyone I don't like. Not anymore." He's going to stand his ground on that. He hasn't done that for his entire life and both his brothers always ended up ahead of him and he didn't even complain because it was his duty, but -

But now he's not doing that.

Robert sighs. "Do you hate your brother that much?"

"I accepted someone I didn't like once, Robert. And it's not just me anymore now."

Robert sighs louder. "All right, all right. Let's say I strike a deal with bloody Rhaegar Targaryen and he lends me the ballroom in King's Landing, I throw a ball for your hand and you choose whoever you want?"

"No one is going to show up at a ball for me," Stannis grits out. "Do you really want to humiliate me that much?"

"You can choose," Robert says, "as long as you fucking get married. Take it or leave it or I choose someone for you. I'm not letting a Tyrell alliance go to waste because you're too stubborn."

Stannis really doesn't want to agree with this, but.

But if he doesn't agree it's just going to be worse after, and at this point he might as well try to make the best out of it.

"Whatever," he says, "fine."

Out of whoever goes to this fucking ball, maybe there will be someone halfway decent.

Maybe.

2.

Well, Davos thinks, couldn't be faulted for trying, even if he hadn't exactly predicted dying in an execution on the damned public square because fucking Randyll Tarly decided that since some fucking stupid royal ball is happening each single criminal has to be dealt with swiftly.

Also, he was an idiot to get caught, but then again, it's not like he was given a trial or anything and him asking for one had made the arse laugh and say to not waste his precious time, so he supposes he is going to get hanged on the public square.

To think that he's managed to be a smuggler without getting caught for years and now he's here because -

"Lord Tarly," someone says just as Davos gets dragged in front of the noose, "what is this about now?"

"My lord," Tarly says with... somewhat distaste. Davos dares looking ahead. The other guy is... definitely a lord, dressed finely in black and just a smish of gold embroidered in his clothing, but at least it's sober. Definitely a few years younger than Davos, has to be around thirty at most, and while he's not what you'd call astonishing in a man, Davos can't help noticing that he has a nice pair of blue eyes, though they're steely as they look at Tarly as if he's nowhere near pleased with any of this circus. Certainly Davos is not, either. "This man was caught committing a foul deed and I don't want criminals running around with the occasion you know of is looming, so if you'd let me do your job -"

"And what was this foul deed we're talking about?"

"I do not see why we have to discuss -"

"Because," the other lord replies, "the occasion that is looming is supposedly for my own benefit and I would like to know and I do not like to see people killed for something potentially useless. So?"

Tarly shrugs. "Very well. He got caught stealing food, a lot of it, and then it turned out he was a notorious smuggler we have been looking for for a long time, so -"

"So he only ever smuggled goods and stole food? And why did you steal that food?"

It takes Davos one second to realize that the lord is talking to him.

He clears his throat.

"There's a family living next door to me in Flea Bottom," Davos says. "I was friends with the father. He - died recently. Couldn't make enough gold to feed all of them so he gave up on his own food, he worked at the port and died helping unloading a ship." That was bringing Dornish wine for whichever feast they're holding at the palace. "His wife didn't have anything to eat, either. I stole some bread from a bakery near the castle and they caught me."

"I imagine these neighbors of yours haven't eaten that bread now, did they?" The lord asks.

"My lord, you aren't believing him, are -"

"Lord Tarly, kindly let him talk."

Davos shakes his head. "No."

"How many children are you talking about?"

"Five," Davos sighs, wondering how bad they're having it right now.

"I think we should see if he's telling the truth," the lord says.

"Lord Stannis, this is nonsense -"

"I wish to see if he is," the man goes on, "and I would like to remind you, Lord Tarly, that my brother is your sovereign, so how about we do that and see if he's lying or not?"

If anything, I'll get to live a little longer.

Davos leads the way and throughout the entire trip, Lord Stannis does not talk or say anything, just looks ahead with gritting teeth, and when he sees that Davos was, in fact, not lying, he shakes his head, mutters something about Robert and everyone else not having their priorities straight and then shakes his head again.

"Lord Tarly," he says, "get someone to give these people some food. They're bloody starving. And he wasn't lying - that woman kept on singing his praises and honestly, again, he's a criminal but he's never killed anyone, or has he?"

"Not that we know of," Tarly says.

"What's your name?" Lord Stannis asks, and wait, is he talking directly to him for the second time, this is just - no single lord in existence ever looks at commoners this way, as far as he knows -

"Davos Seaworth," he says, "my lord."

"Well, as far as I can see here, you only ever stole and you were trying to do something decent and - never quite mind that. I think," he goes on, "that no one should hang and he swears to not commit crimes anymore and since he still should be punished, he loses the joints in his left hand for that and that's all there is to it."

"But -" Lord Tarly tries to object.

"What do you say?" Lord Stannis asks.

"That I would take that one deal in a heartbeat," Davos replies.

"Well then," Lord Stannis says, "I proposed it, I will do it myself so that no golden cloak of Lord Tarly's gets ideas about taking your whole hand."

Davos decides that it's wildly beyond his expectations, and nods.

He asks to keep the bones.

Lord Stannis looks at him as if he doesn't know why he would but he can, for all he cares, and Tarly's sour face is enough to make Davos forget the pain he feels when the sharp knife goes down almost instantly.

Lord Stannis tells him to try and behave properly from now and leaves muttering something about just wanting to go back to Storm's End, and -

Davos needs to know more.

The moment his fingertips don't bleed anymore and he has the bones safely stored in a pouch, he grabs his old cloak and heads for the tavern where everyone from the golden cloaks and the court hangs out.

Maybe he can find out more about who that one lord is, because sure as the Seven Hells he never ran into one like that.

3.

The last thing he expects to find when he starts asking around the inn is that Sandor Clegane sits down in front of him.

If anything because the man shouldn't even hang around here - last he checked, he hasn't since he stopped going by that Hound nickname and ended up married to the Warden of the North's daughter somehow, and he doesn't even live in King's Landing anymore, but apparently he is, and - well. Davos had seen him around, back in the day. Now he looks... happier, he thinks. Not as angry. And those scars on his face haven't changed but his face looks somehow softer than before.

"I heard," he says, "you're askin' around about bloody Stannis Baratheon."

Oh, Davos thinks, so that was why Lord Tarly was that deferring to him. He could have gotten there when Stannis told him his brother was Lord Tarly's king, but - well. He hadn't been paying that much attention.

"Well," Davos says, "he made sure I didn't end up hanged and he just - I never knew any lord like that."

"Believe me, not many lords are like that one." Clegane takes a sip of ale, then shrugs. "Well, what did you need to know?"

"Just, shouldn't he be in the Stormlands? And what's this occasion thing that was for him that Lord Tarly was ranting about?"

"... You don't know, but of fucking course you wouldn't," Sandor shrugs, "it's not like they'd announce shit in Flea Bottom. Well, you know the royal ball they're holding at the Red Keep tomorrow?"

"Yes?"

"That's for him to pick someone he wants to marry," Clegane shrugs, "and he hates every second of it, not that anyone could blame his sorry ass."

"... Explain," Davos says. That just doesn't fucking make sense.

"I'll make it short," Clegane shrugs, "but he married this... lady Florent something some ten years ago 'cause his brother picked her for him and apparently he's the only one in that family who gets the short straw about everyfuckingthing. And when they went for the bedding they found Robert in bed with some other woman."

"His marriage bed?"

"Well, yeah," Clegane goes on, "and then they had a daughter but she was born with grayscale so half of her face is scarred, her mother fell in with some witch from Asshai and decided that her daughter was an abomination and turned out she wanted to burn her alive, long story short when it happened of course he broke off the marriage and I have no idea where the fuck she ended, but since then he hasn't had anyone offer their daughter's hand. Because everyone thinks he's dull and he said that even if he had a son with another woman he'd consider his daughter his heir or anyway he wouldn't let her get the fucking short straw, too, and like, while a second Baratheon son is not fucking little, he has no offers. But now it looks like he has to get fucking married or his younger brother can't marry bloody Loras Tyrell, either, and they came to that ball compromise. If you wonder how I know all of this, my lady wife spent the entire trip to King's Landing from Winterfell sharing about that and saying that it was a pity poor Stannis never got his good love story, so there's fucking that."

"And the ball's point is...?"

"That if he likes anyone he meets he gets to pick his bride. Or whatever the fuck else."

Davos nods. "I see," he says. "And you're saying people think he's dull?"

Clegane shrugs again. "I mean, I don't personally give a fuck and I think he's all right, but his brothers are both... more suited for fucking court, I guess. And he obviously hates court. And he says he won't have anyone who won't accept his daughter, which means whoever shows up will be really desperate daughters of minor lords. Does this satisfy your questions?"

"It does," Davos says, looking down at his hand.

"Wait," Clegane says, "he did that?"

"The alternative was Lord Tarly hanging me, Ser," Davos replies.

"I'm not one and good fucking riddance to me. Huh." He looks at Davos, and Davos holds the stare, wishing he knew what the man was thinking, and then -

"You want to go to that ball, don't you."

It's not posed as a question.

Davos swallows. "I mean," he says, "I - if he had been some knight or not a fucking lord I'd have... tried to talk to him, I guess. I just - he didn't seem stuck-up like the others. And he did save my life. But please, and how would I even get in there? I'm a fucking smuggler and I was born and bred in Flea Bottom of all places, certainly I am not invited."

"No," Sandor replies, "but - ah, fucking bugger it to the seven hells and back, I've been in his place."

"Lord Stannis's?"

"Yes," he says, "as in, I thought no one would ever look at me like that, except that it happened and you are sort of having that look while thinking about him, and I highly doubt he wants a fucking princess or whatever."

What in the Seven Hells - Davos thinks, but then Clegane half-smiles, the scarred side of his mouth curling up in what looks a damned genuine grin, and -

"You're a smuggler, aren't you?"

"Uh, yes?" Davos replies. "Even if I guess I shouldn't risk it anymore, should -"

"Think you can be at that small bay near the kitchens tomorrow at this hour?"

"I - I could?"

"Be there," Clegane says, "I absolutely want to see the fucking faces of all those arses after."

"After what?"

"You'll find out," the man says, and then stands up and leaves.

He looks cheerful.

What the fucking fuck, Davos thinks, and then decides that he has nothing to lose. He can be there tomorrow.

4.

He expects Clegane to be there.

Instead -

"Davos Seaworth?" A tall, blonde woman with very pretty blue eyes, a nose that was broken twice and shoulders worthy of a knight tells him - she's dressed in good male garb, and she has a knife at her hip, but she doesn't sound hostile.

"Uh, yes," he says, "lady...?"

"Brienne of Tarth," she introduces herself and wait -

"Aren't you - Ser Jaime Lannister's -"

"Yes," she interrupts him, "and Sandor told me to come get you and believe me, I was much glad to because that ball is a stupid farce and I get why Stannis would hate it and I have my reasons to want to have a laugh at everyone else's antics. Do follow me," she says, and leads him through some tunnel going inside the castle from the small cave nearby.

Davos tries to remember how the hell she got married to Lannister - it was pretty talked about in the city, back in the day. He still was in the Kingsguard and she had been in Renly Baratheon's following and they ended up fighting in some tourney and they tied and two weeks later he had resigned from the Kingsguard somehow - his sister, the Queen regent, hadn't apparently been happy but Rhaegar Targaryen agreed to it, so Davos supposes he had some leverage - and they eloped on Tarth and he's halfway sure Tywin Lannister still has his son disowned for that, or half-disowned, but he still obviously is invited to courtly events. Davos has no fucking clue how nobles do this, but he follows Brienne thought a few more tunnels until she leads him out and into a corridor and into a small but richly furnished room.

"Right," she says, "just... wait a bit here. And - well. I, uh, didn't know your Lord Stannis much before we... ended up talking to each other a while ago, and - I get where he's been and no one wants to be the center of a feast where they know they're going to be laughed at. So, I'm pretty sure he will be relieved."

"Of what?"

"You'll know shortly," she half-smiles, and then closes the door.

What the fuck, Davos thinks for the umpteenth time, and a few moments later the door opens.

Now.

Davos has heard of Jaime Lannister enough to know on sight that the blonde man coming through the door is him, and the younger girl on the side with bright auburn hair and blue eyes - oh. She has a Stark sigil on her dress. Is she -

"Lady Sansa," Lannister says, "your husband wasn't lying, was he?"

"No," she smiles back, "but this is going to be good."

"My lord," Davos stammers, "my lady. Uh, what is this about?"

"Oh," Sansa replies, grinning, "it's about getting you to that ball. Ser," she tells Lannister, "mind instructing him while I find him the right clothing?"

"Absolutely," Lannister smiles wider.

Seven fucking hells, Davos thinks, I'm never going to survive this.

5.

"See," Lannister goes on, "when Clegane told me that he thought you might want to go to the ball because you actually did like Stannis we about all fainted in our little corner of no one thoughts we should have married the way we did so we'll leave you alone, but honestly, the guy pretty much does his brother's job because Robert doesn't really give a damn about being a decent ruler, then he pretty much gave up everything he wanted for either of his brothers and they never said thanks and he was one of the few idiots who when I, uh, resigned, said I should be able to." He shrugs. "Also, he was nicer to Brienne than his actual brother that she wanted to swear herself to, so. I kind of owe him and his daughter is a nice girl. She doesn't deserve a shit stepmother."

"And you all decided that I am the solution to the problem?" Davos asks from behind a screen where he's trying on the clothes Sansa brought him after she got a bath brought over to the room and he had to hear Lannister giving him tips to get through the ball while he was washing.

"You're here and you're thanking the guy for having cut off your finger joints, please. And no one cares where you come from - at least the four of us - and he certainly won't. Come on, out of that screen."

Davos sighs and does, and Sansa does whistle a bit. "Told you," she says, "they'd fit."

"Oh, they do," Lannister replies, and tells Davos to go look at himself in the mirror near the window.

Davos does, and -

Well. He felt out of place dressed in fine dark green silks with golden embroideries and a velvet brown coat, but it does fit him, and the black new leather boots Sansa got him are the best shoes he's ever worn, and now that he could get a good cleaning - well. He's still himself, but he's pretty sure half of his friends wouldn't recognize him.

"Take this," Lannister says, handing him a sword. "Now, what could the story be - oh, he's some hedge knight I met while killing bandits with Brienne and we thought to invite him?"

"Sounds good," Sansa nods, "and you could invite him. He probably shouldn't say he's from King's Landing, though."

"Absolutely not," Lannister agrees. "Hm. How about Cape Wrath?"

"Better," she nods, "though I suppose his real name shouldn't come out."

"No," Lannister shakes his head. "Ser, choose one. Oh, should he be a bastard? Imagine their faces."

"I think we should absolutely go for that," she grins back. "So, a name?"

"Uh, Allard?" Davos blurts his father's name, may his soul rest in peace.

"Allard Storm, sounds good," Lannister grins. "Well, you're a hedge knight, you met me and my lady wife while chasing bandits and we invited you because why the hell not," he says. "I hope you can dance, Seaworth."

"... I don't think so," Davos replies. "I mean, I never did."

Maybe he should have lied.

Maybe he'd have spared himself those two actually teaching him on the spot.

When he's pushed out of the room a while later, he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here, but -

But he still doesn't want to run away.

Fuck, what did I get myself into? He asks himself, and then walks on anyway.

6.

“I should have never agreed to this farce,” Stannis whispers as he sloshes wine he knows he won’t drink in his glass.

Good thing he’s telling Brienne of Tarth that and not anyone else, because he thinks no one else in this room would understand how it feels - she nods, and thankfully she doesn’t argue about it.

But what should she argue? Each single lady who came looked at him like her father forced her here, it’s a ball in his name and he’s technically not danced with anyone yet, not that he would want to, Renly and Loras meanwhile are doing it and everyone is looking at them anyway, which... is exactly what he knew was going to happen. Never mind his daughter who asked him fifteen times if they really had to participate and he thinks wasn’t openly laughed at yet just because anyone who might has been properly scolded by their lordly parents on that one topic, but the last time he saw her she was standing miserably to the side.

“I’ve been there,” she says, “and I wouldn’t want to be in your position ever again anyway. But -” She clears her throat, “I think that you might change your mind.”

“Oh, and how?”

“Jaime, uh, he made a friend the other day. While we were out checking the woods.”

“And?”

“And he invited him along. I think that you might... well. Like him. Or at least not be thoroughly bored.”

“At least,” Stannis sighs, and really, he doesn’t begrudge her for having found better than his damned brother, because she did deserve it as much as he’d have never bet a coin on Jaime Lannister of everyone being anyone’s ideal partner, but still, this entire exercise is just reminding him of how much no one actually would want him even for... companionship, if nothing else, and -

Why did he even agree to this bloody farce, he really wishes -

“Oh, here they are,” she says, and yes, Lannister is apparently arguing with - Lord Varys, seven hells, of course he was in charge of vetoing who was allowed in, and there’s a man next to him, indeed, but he has a hood over his head - a nice velvet coat without too many pretenses, so he can’t see his face, but then it seems like Lannister has his way and manages to get the man in, and then he whispers something his way and - comes over to the both of them?

“Stannis,” he smiles, entirely too gloating about it, “it’s your event and you let your brother steal the spotlight?”

“What do you think even happened?” Stannis sighs back - he’s not even going to antagonize him.

“I see I have to do everything tonight. Brienne, fancy making sure that people stop only having eyes for Renly while he mingles?”

“I fancy,” she grins, and of course she does, the room usually starts whispering the moment they dance together since she’s never not led and it’s apparently worth whispering about, and so when they’re off, Stannis sighs and walks to the side, figuring he will try to make an effort and talk to anyone who will -

And then he sees that Lannister’s mysterious friend is talking to his daughter and she’s smiling at him before running off somewhere - oh, where Tyrion Lannister is lounging, Stannis notices, and what -

“Ser,” he clears his throat, moving closer, “would it be too much if I asked you how you got my daughter to - do that?” He blurts, hating how awkward he sounds -

“I told her,” the man replies, and wait, isn’t the voice familiar, “that she looked very lonely, she explained me how she loathed this feast and I suggested her that she might want to talk to someone who likes what she does, and Ser Jaime has told me enough about his brother to know they might have something to discuss. But I am hardly a ser, my lord.”

Stannis glances down at the man’s left hand while the man pulls down the hood.

Oh.

Oh.

He’s - he doesn’t have the finger joints on his left hand.

He’s -

“I see you understood,” the man - what was his name, Davos Seaworth - says.

“I might,” Stannis replies, “and may I inquire how you’re here?”

He’ll be thrice fucked if Davos didn’t... sort of flush under his beard. Which... looks a lot better now that it’s well-groomed, and then a pair of warm brown eyes meets his own, and -

“I asked around who you might be, since no one else in your place would have actually insisted to save the life of... well. A common criminal, let’s put it like that. And I met someone who decided that I sounded entirely too interested and I should attend the ball and they helped me sneak in, and I never felt like it was a mistake, so... sounds like I am here. But if you don’t wish me to -”

“Please,” Stannis shakes his head, feeling slightly dizzy, “no one until now made me feel like they actually weren’t forced to be here and... you went through all that effort to just... talk to me peer to peer? Or, well. The closest one might get to it.”

“I thought I’d just want to thank you in person,” Davos replies, “but now that I’m here, I think I’d like to stay a while, and not just for the good food. Fancy taking a stroll out, my lord? Unless you’d rather watch your brother seethe.”

“Renly is doing what,” Stannis replies, and turns to look at the scene -

Well.

Renly is seething because everyone is whispering about Brienne twirling Jaime Lannister around the floor like she was born to do that. He shouldn’t be smiling. But maybe he is, a tiny bit.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head, “I shouldn’t, but - well.”

“I won’t judge people for being petty,” Davos replies, “but - is there a reason why?”

Stannis shrugs. “Well, he kind of hates that he hasn’t managed to... be officially with his intended because of me, and he never fails to remind me that everyone thinks me dull in comparison to him, and I never quite forgot that he once said it would be a miracle if I’d find anyone who’d take my daughter because of her face, so. Well. If Brienne is upstaging him, I’ll live with it.”

Davos looks at him, then at the rest of the room.

“I see,” he says, “and I can’t blame you. She was perfectly nice with me.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Stannis says, “but - maybe I would like that stroll.” What is he even saying -

“Then we should,” Davos replies, half-smiling, and he looks so damned kind -

What the hell is happening?

7.

The hell, Stannis realizes, is that he actually does like this man.

They just - they just talked while music came faintly from the outside, and it’s probably sad that it’s novel experience to talk to someone who actually seems to give a damn about what he has to say and listens to him except Davos actually does, and when Davos talks about how he ended up becoming a criminal and almost hanged he kind of can’t help feeling guilty when he looks down at the man’s left hand.

Fucking Seven Hells, he might be a smuggler, but when someone tells you well where I came from it was a struggle to put any food on the table at all and with my first smuggling job when I was fourteen I could pay for it for a month can you even blame them for not having looked back and found an honest job?

He thinks about how he never had to worry about his next meal.

“I think I have to apologize to you,” he says quietly when Davos finishes telling him about how he couldn’t sleep at night hearing those starving children wail.

“... You don’t,” Davos replies, shaking his head.

“I do,” Stannis goes on. “I mean... I still think stealing is a crime and crimes should be punished or - or what else makes sense, but when one hears your circumstances... I feel like I should have just have you swear you wouldn’t live that life anymore. I could. And instead -”

“Oh, you made sure I didn’t lose an entire hand or hang, and we both know Lord Tarly wouldn’t have been happy with just letting me go. I can appreciate fair play, my lord, and I mean, I did commit crimes. I did keep the bones, anyway.”

“You - did?”

Davos nods towards... oh. A small pouch that he has hanging around his neck. Stannis hadn’t noticed it before, but -

“I decided I’d keep them in memory of the one time one lord was actually fair to me, but then - then I met Clegane and he told me to show up here. Also... shouldn’t someone have looked for us by now?”

It’s been a while. The music is still playing. No one did.

He shakes his head. “As if they’d care,” he says, “most likely they were just waiting for me to leave so they could stop pretending to be nice.”

Davos just looks at him, and then he swallows, and -

“Beg your pardon if this is too forward,” he asks, “but maybe my lord fancies dancing somewhere not in front of all those people?”

“I - I don’t generally do that,” Stannis replies. Why is his heart beating faster?

“Oh, I don’t dance to that kind of music either, but who is going to see us?”

Stannis has slipped his hand into Davos’s before he can think on it.

What am I even doing, he thinks, noticing how the other man’s hands are roughened - he took away the gloves and he can feel how the right one is all clean but calloused skin and the left has fresh scarring on the joints, but they hold his own so very gently, and -

And neither of them is really good at this, because he hasn’t danced in years and Davos is obviously winging it based on what he saw in the hall, but it’s nice, and twirling around the garden without anyone staring at him feels nice, and when he looks at Davos’s kind, warm brown eyes his stomach flips over again, and -

“This - this is nice,” he finally admits.

“It... it is,” Davos says back, and he’s half-smiling and - “If this is the first and last time I get to be at a royal ball, I’m not going to think it wasted time at all.”

Gods, gods, why the idea that he wouldn’t see him again is making him feel like the ground will fall open under his feet and swallow him whole?

“What if I don’t want it to be?” He finds himself saying, and Davos gasps at it.

“... Really?”

“Really,” he says, feeling like his head is spinning and he can’t stop talking, “never mind that - no one I know managed to make my daughter happy like that talking to her once. And - that was one of the conditions I had for Robert. That I wouldn’t... be with anyone who’d treat her poorly.”

“Why would anyone? She’s a lovely girl,” Davos replies, and oh, if he knew.

“You saw her. And her mother wanted to burn her alive. Not many people agree with you.”

“Then most people are idiots,” Davos replies, “if I may be so bold.”

“You may,” Stannis replies, and they’re still swinging, and - “You may be as bold as you like.”

He doesn’t know how he said that. He doesn’t even know where that comes from.

What he knows is that Davos’s mouth is on his the moment after and -

And he’s fucking kissing back the moment it happens and had he been hoping for it? Gods maybe he had, and the few times he kissed Selyse were nothing like this, she never - it never felt like she wanted to actually do it and Davos does, there is no fucking way he doesn’t, and his tongue is slipping into Stannis’s mouth and he groaned into it, oh fuck -

“Stannis, where the fuck did you end up?”

Oh, damn it, that was Robert -

They break apart and Stannis is about to tell Davos to just stay and that he’ll deal with it, but then other people talk and -

“Damn,” Davos says, “that’s Lord Tarly, and he will recognize me.”

... He would, Stannis realizes, and -

“Oh, fuck,” Davos says, and then he takes the pouch with the bones from his neck and slams it into Stannis’s palm and -

“If you want me to come back,” Davos replies, half-smiling, “you just have to bring them back to me. You know where I live, my lord.”

“I - I do,” Stannis whispers.

“Then - then I hope to see you soon, my lord. If not... I’m not regretting that you’ll get to keep that.”

And then he’s gone and Robert and his fucking search group have shown up a moment later.

“What were you even doing out here?” Robert asks. “You know that you have to choose a wife before the feast is over?”

Oh, fuck him and fuck them all, Stannis thinks.

“About that,” he says, “I think I know. But I can tell you when we go back in.”

It’s going to be a goddamned problem, he knows, but -

But.

He’s almost never trusted his gut his entire life and it only ever brought him trouble, and now he wants to, and -

And.

And he knows.

8.

“You’re not marrying a criminal!” Robert explodes later, when the hall has been emptied except for them, Renly, his daughter, Lord Tarly, the present Tyrells, Starks and Lannisters and of course Rhaegar Targaryen and the members of the small council, but he seems to be uninterested in how this ends one way or the other.

“I said I could choose whoever I wanted, didn’t you?” He stares back.

“I didn’t mean a damned criminal, Stannis! And how did a commoner even get in here? Lannister, what were you thinking?”

Jaime Lannister merely shrugs, half-grinning while his father looks at him like he’s a lost cause. His sister... Stannis isn’t even going to think about that. “That he looked and sounded like someone he’d like and so I invited him. Sure, we did tell him to not introduce himself with his real name, for obvious reasons, but -”

“A bloody commoner, Lannister!”

“Oh,” Lannister shrugs, “and so what? He stole some things. He never harmed anyone as far as we knew. You could have worse brothers in law.”

“Are you bloody serious - Stannis, please, no way -”

“And why?” He counteracts. “I am not interested in having any more children,” he goes on, “I do have an heir, and he would certainly not try to make sure she stops being that, and I wanted someone she’d like too, and I think she did, or -”

“I did,” she replies quietly, and Robert rolls his eyes.

“Shireen, this man is a smuggler, your father isn’t reasoning -”

“Well,” she says, “I have talked to him once and he was nicer than just about anyone else at the feast. Or - well. I don’t think I should say.”

“Shireen, you can.”

“I don’t think I can tell you. It wouldn’t be polite. And you would be sad.”

“Let’s say,” Lannister says, “that she can tell me in all confidence outside the room and I can come back with the answer if it’s something that could be shared?” 

Stannis should be worried that Shireen seems fine with that, but then again he’s the brother of the guy who entertained her for half of the feast, right? And why would she think he would be sad?

Anyway. Lannister brings her out of the room, and then comes back and -

“I told her she could go find my brother,” he says, and oh, the youngest Lannister did flee the premises while they were arguing, “and - well. Renly,” he says, “honestly, she said that the criminal commoner was nicer to her in five minutes than you’ve ever been your entire life, maybe you should think about that sometimes.”

Oh

Of course -

At least Renly has the grace to look ashamed, and Robert groans again, and -

Ah, seven hells.

“Robert,” he says, “this entire farce was to make sure I would find anyone suitable so Renly could have his lavish wedding and whatnot. You said I could choose anyone. I happen to have chosen. If my daughter likes him, too, even better, and honestly, you are the king, Renly will have the Tyrell alliance and certainly my daughter won’t be your heir, so what do you care? People will talk and decide I lost my wits, and would that be any news? Just stop being unreasonable.”

Robert stares at him, and then -

“Seven hells,” he sighs, “you never stood up that much for anything in your life as much as - whatever this is. Fucking - ah, well, I suppose I can just find some way to make sure the three of you aren’t around court too much.”

“Believe me, both Shireen and I would be thoroughly pleased,” Stannis says, and then Robert raises his hands to the ceiling.

“Whatever. Go ahead, find this guy, as long as I can move forward with the other damned wedding.”

“Why, thank you, extremely kind of you, Your Grace,” he says, and then he turns on his heel and gets out of the room.

He’s not surprised when Lannister follows him. “Should I tell my brother to keep your daughter entertained for a while longer?”

“Please,” he says, “and I don’t know how much I have to thank you, but -”

“Just go get the guy and remember that Brienne’s father is only too glad to host her friends on Tarth. He’s exceedingly glad she has some,” he winks, and then goes to - find his brother and Shireen, he supposes, and -

“My lord,” Sandor Clegane says, appearing suddenly at his right as he gets out of the castle, “you need an escort to Flea Bottom, mayhaps?”

“I don’t even want to know how you knew,” he sighs, and stops asking himself why apparently is there some kind of conspiracy to help him out with - whatever this is.

He also doesn’t want to know how Clegane says he knows the way when Stannis asks him if he remembers how to get to the house he visited a few days ago.

9.

Davos had half expected the knock on the door.

He hadn’t been sure it would happen, but -

He’s nowhere near surprised when he opens it and Stannis is there with Sandor Clegane in the background winking at him and then making himself scarce.

“This place is a lot fouler by night than by day, if possible,” Stannis says, walking into Davos’s one-room shack, not that he could afford any better.

“But you knew that already, my lord, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Stannis whispers, and his eyes look so blue in the candlelight, and then he’s handing Davos back the pouch with the bones - 

“Is it.. I thought it was heavier,” Davos says, taking it.

Stannis shrugs, lifting up his cloak. He has a similar pouch tied to his waist.

What -

“I took the liberty to split it,” he whispers, “if - if it’s not a problem.”

“It’s not,” Davos says, “but does it mean that -”

“My brother has agreed to... my choice, if we lay low. But I think that it woudn’t be a problem. And - I never do things not overthinking them. But - my daughter likes you, and I like you, and honestly, no one would have gone through the effort you did just to... talk to me or whatever, and -  this is, if -”

“Yes,” Davos interrupts.

“Wait, yes?”

“I can’t believe I actually am saying it myself, but of course. I do.. quite like you, my lord.”

“Well, if we are to be... to be, maybe you can do away with that?”

“I could be persuaded,” Davos says, and he leans in and they’re kissing again and this time is slower and Stannis’s hand is slightly trembling as he touches the back of his hair and he’s not even wearing his fine clothes now, he put them away before but Stannis doesn’t seem to care an inch and when he groans into Davos’s mouth again he grasps at the back of his head and -

Well.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to navigate things considering that he can’t even bloody damn well read, but who cares. He’ll learn. He just -

He likes Stannis, damn it, and he wants to see it through, and if it means they’ll have to lay low because other lords are damned stupid, who cares.

10.

“Well,” Jaime says, “we can expect a lot of gossip.”

“In what sense?” Brienne replies, wishing she didn’t have to reply to ravens when they’re on Tarth, but his father insists that she does because she’ll take his place one day.

“My brother writes me that Shireen Baratheon writes him that she’s never been happier now that they’re at that castle in Cape Wrath, that she’s taught Seaworth to read admirably well and she has a lot of fun with that and that she’s delighted because he is actually a thoroughly nice guy and her father is happy and she’s never seen him happy before, they didn’t go to Renly’s wedding and they didn’t miss it at all and apparently everyone in town is happy they’re there because they don’t have to go to Robert for inquiries or asking anything and Sannis is a lot fairer than Robert was anyway, and no one is actually dying of hunger in there anymore, so I guess that they’re doing well - oh, this is golden.”

“What is golden?”

“That Robert is of course not taking a wife until Lyanna Stark capitulates to his courting but he’s certainly having children here and there, so he’s sending some of them to their place and I think they have what, two of them there, and Shireen is delighted because she finally has some company, and imagine that, Sansa Stark came visiting there with her husband and sister once because I suppose she wanted to see how well her matchmaking had worked and her sister is smitten with one of said bastard sons. And they had to lay low, imagine that,” he laughs. “Well, when were they supposed to visit?”

“A month from now?”

“There’s going to be so much gossip,” he keeps on muttering, and she lets him - he has all the reasons to gloat about it.

She smiles to herself as she takes another raven and starts penning it - she might as well send them some more congratulations before they come visit.

After all, after they became friendly, she did hope that he’d find someone he would be happy with same as she did instead of always staying in Renly’s shadow, which she’d have been happy with herself... before realizing she deserved better.

She’s really glad he did.

And she can’t wait to host them too - if they got the happy ending, no point in not celebrating it, isn’t it?

[official-weasley]

Meant to Be (Charlie Weasley x OC)

What happens when Bill brings home a girl and Charlie is completely awestruck by her?

WARNINGS: cursing, mentions of alcohol, struggling with self-love, emotional self-destructive behavior, and mentions of mental health problems, mentions of death and loss

Chapter 20

Rhylee

“Are you ready for this?” Lyla looked deep into my eyes, gripping my shoulders tight.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly.

“Okay, let’s go through it again before you leave.” I nodded to let her know I was ready.

“What did Dr. Whitmoore say?” She asked.

“I have to forgive myself.” I answered.

“And?”

“Stop tormenting myself.”

“And?” She tilted her head.

“Let the past stay in the past.” I closed my eyes.

“And what do you have to be?”

“More positive.”

“And what do you deserve?” She raised her eyebrows.

“To be happy.” A smile twitched at the end of my lip as I realized that I finally believed the words that came out of my mouth.

They weren’t empty anymore. They had meaning and they were finally true.

“And you…”

“I love myself.” I swallowed hard.

“Good girl.” Lyla grinned proudly at me. “I think you’re ready.” She scanned me from head to toe. “Turn around.” She reached for my hand and twirled me. “Now go and redeem yourself.” She winked at me and smacked my arse so I let out a surprised gasp.

I checked myself out in the mirror one more time and apparated. I know I was a bit late and I was hoping that most people would already be there so that I won’t have to talk to anybody. To be honest, I was just trying to avoid Charlie. The closer I got to the tent the more nervous I got.

There was a moment where I actually thought I will never see him again and here I was about to watch his brother get married. I took a deep breath and entered the tent. It seemed I was just in time as everybody sat down and Bill made his way to the center of the room. He looked dashing and I couldn’t stop the smile spread over my lips as I saw how nervous but excited he was at the same time.

I couldn’t be happier for him. As much as I couldn’t believe he invited me to the wedding. We still kept in touch and wrote a few letters per month to one another but we haven’t seen each other for over 5 months. Not since we bumped into each other in Diagon Alley.

Since he was on my list of people to apologize to, I invited him for coffee and told him everything. His reaction was pretty much the same as that of Lyla’s. It warmed my heart to see him looking at me so understandingly. It made me feel great and bad at the same time. I was finally out of my loophole but that made me realize just how foolish I was to even fall into it.

A few seconds after Bill took his place ready to get married, Charlie has positioned himself next to him. I was looking at him as if I have just seen the most beautiful creature on the entire planet. As I caught myself staring at him with my mouth slightly open I knew it was pointless denying the fact that I was still madly in love with him.

He was the man of my dreams and he was everything I could ever wish for in a person. Realizing all that shook my nerves even more. I snapped out of it just as Fleur started walking down the aisle. I have to keep it together and I have to keep myself from running away. He was the last one I needed to talk to. The last one I needed to apologize to for my stupid mistakes.

—

I sat down after dancing with yet another of the Weasley family members. I have no idea who the man was, I just knew he had to be a Weasley because of his fiery hair. I scanned the table to find my glass.

“Good evening.” I lifted my head to follow the voice.

“Hi, Bill.” I grinned at him. “Congratulations again.”

“Thank you.” He sat down next to me, his smile bigger than ever. “What are you sitting here all alone for?”

“Well, I danced with half of your relatives, your mum, and your dad and I think all of your brothers.” I laughed wholeheartedly.

“Most of my brothers.” He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head at the table where Charlie was sitting.

“I don't think he'd want to dance with me.” I swallowed hard. I felt my palms getting sweaty. I have been avoiding looking at that table for the last 2 hours. “He probably hates me.”

“Oh, I bet he wishes he could.” Bill murmured so fast that I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly.

“What?” I asked bluntly.

“Oh, nothing. Nothing.” Bill pressed his lips together, trying hard not to smirk. “Come on, invite him to dance.”

“What would his girlfriend think?” I tilted my head, waiting for the answer.

“Girlfriend?” Bill asked puzzled.

“I saw them dancing before, Bill.” I rolled my eyes playfully.

“The girl with pink hair?”

I hummed in response.

“That's one of his best friends, Tonks. They went to school together. She's married to Remus, who is sitting...” He scanned the room, looking for someone. “…right over there.” He pointed at a man with a lot of scars painting his face and a mustache.

“Oh.” Was all I could manage and rubbed my lips together.

“You didn't hear it from me but he's single.” He winked with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Thank you for the tip.” All I could manage was a nervous smile.

“Now are we just going to pretend that you attended my wedding just because of me or are you going to do something about you and him?” His eyes moving from me to where Charlie was sitting again.

“He is clearly having fun with his friends, I don't want to bother him.” At this point, I was just searching for excuses.

“Yeah, drinking and singing with the Hogwarts Game Keeper.” He chuckled. “Come with me.” He indicated with his hands that I should stand up and I followed him outside the tent.

I was getting more nervous by the minute. I had no idea where he was taking me until we suddenly stopped in the garden behind the Weasley home and he offered me to sit on the wooden bench, which I almost didn’t notice as it was mostly covered with vines and flowers. Without a single word, he started walking back to the tent.

I sat down slowly, swallowing my nerves. I didn’t like the expression on his face before he left. He looked as if he was up to something and I wasn’t big on surprises. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. My legs were shaking, my heels making sounds as they tapped against the ground.

I lifted my head as I heard someone coming my way.

“What is so important Bill and why are we going to the gard...” My heart clenched when I heard Charlie’s voice. “Oh, hi.” Was all he managed to say when he saw me.

His expression reminded me of the one he had on his face when he saw me at the gate in the Sanctuary.

“Hi.” My voice was barely audible.

“Oh, would you look at that, I think my wife is calling me.” Bill giggled and before either of us could say anything to him, he disappeared.

Charlie slowly made his way to me, the surprised expression still on his face. He sat down next to me, leaving a gap between us that was too big no matter how small it was.

An awkward silence fell upon us, both searching for words. This was my chance. I came here to talk to him, to apologize. I have to do it now.

“Charlie, listen...” I put my hands on my knees to stop my legs from shaking.

“How are you?” He interrupted me, staring at nothing in particular in front of him.

“I-I'm good. How are you?” I wanted him to look at me so I didn’t take my eyes off him.

“Not bad. Was a nice wedding.” He nodded towards the tent.

I calmed down as I felt that he was just as nervous as I was.

“Yeah.” I let out a hollow laugh.

Why was this so hard?

“I'm sorry I didn't say hello to you before.” He turned his head to me and our eyes finally met. “I know I passed you a few times.” He scratched the top of his head, embarrassed.

“It's okay.” I smiled slightly. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to bestow him with a smile. I had no idea how mad he was at me. “I understand. You probably hate me.”

“I don't hate you, Rhy.” I closed my eyes when he said my name like that. He was the only one who called me Rhy and I never wanted to forget how it sounded. “I just wish I understood what was going through your head.”

“Trust me, I wish things went differently.”

This was a good start, right? He just said he wanted to understand and I was here to explain everything.

“Yeah.” His lips curved just a little before returning to their original state.

We fell silent again. We always had so much to talk about and it was never hard. He was always the easiest person to talk to. I felt as if I could tell him anything.

“So where do you work now?” He broke the silence.

“I'm kind of in-between jobs right now.” I pursed my lips.

I didn’t want to talk about me not having a job.

“You know, you can always come back to the Sanctuary. We didn't ban you from it and everybody misses you.”

Including you?

I wanted to ask but let the question die in my mouth instead. It warmed my heart so much that he offered me to return to Romania.

“You look better.” He scanned me with his eyes and I felt my heart beating hard against my ribcage.

I knew exactly what he meant. The last time he saw me I looked like shit. I let myself go completely.

“Thank you.” I gave out a soft smile. “I feel better too. Lyla got me into therapy.”

“Into what?” His face screwed in confusion.

“It's something Muggles do when they have…well mental issues.” I explained.

“You had mental issues?” I liked the concern in his voice a bit too much.

“You couldn't tell?” I asked sarcastically.

“I knew something was up but you didn't want to talk about it so I thought it was because of Nick.” He answered honestly.

“Nick was the least of my problems.” I said quickly.

Nick was the last person I wanted to talk to him about.

“Oh.” The word escaped from his mouth as if I caught him off guard. “That's...yeah...good for you.” He nodded, pressing his lips together and I knew what I said hurt him.

“Charlie, I hope you know that everything that happened between us...”

“Don't.” He lifted his hand at me. “You don't need to explain yourself to me.”

If it was any other time I would stop talking then and there but this was it. It was time for him to know the truth.

“Yes, I do.” I said, determined. “You were right that day in front of the Ministry. You deserve answers. As I said, everything that happened between us was as real for me as it was for you.” My legs started shaking again.

Did I say too much too quickly?

“Okay.” I could see his cheeks turn scarlet and I wanted to kiss him so badly at moment.

I wanted to kiss the hell out of him.

“I just...” I inhaled sharply.

This was it. No turning back now. Here’s my story, Charlie, and please don’t run away when I’m done talking.

“I was in a really bad place. In my Seventh year at Beauxbatons, I didn't read the instructions properly and made a poison instead of a Calming Draught. My boyfriend at the time drank it and he died.” I was staring into nothingness.

I could see with the corner of my eye that he turned to me slightly as I said the last few words and I could feel his eyes on me.

“I wasn't charged for murder even though I begged them to lock me up because I couldn't see how I could forgive myself. It was marked as an accident. I barely finished school and got the job at Gringotts and gladly took it just to get away from everything.” I shook my head.

I was doing better. It got easier to talk about it every time I said it out loud.

“I was fine for 3 years, I thought I was over it. I promised myself that I will never brew another potion and that I will never be with anyone ever again.” I bowed my head. Saying all of this used to make me cry but I forgave myself. I had to. “I thought I didn't deserve it after what I did. And then Bill brought me home and I met you.”

He was still looking at me. I wanted to turn and look into his beautiful eyes that were always so full of compassion and love but I couldn’t. I didn’t dare. I didn’t know what he thought about everything I just said. I didn’t know if he was judging me or not and I wasn’t ready to find out just yet. He didn’t say anything either so I continued talking.

“I know what you felt that day, Charlie.” I said in a whisper. I wanted to talk about us, about what that night meant to me for such a long time. “You think I didn't? I know that what happened between us that night was so far away from a one-night stand. I have never felt such a strong connection to a person before and my curiosity got the better of me.”

I shook my head. I always said it was a mistake but I have to forgive myself for that too.

“I had to see if there was something between us and it killed me when I was right. As much as something was pulling me toward you that much did I want to run away because all that guilt came right back.”

“All this drama between us happened because of something you did at school?” He failed to comprehend and I didn’t blame him.

“I killed a person, Charlie.” I said through my teeth.

“It was an accident.” His voice was so soft, so full of understanding of my situation.

“How would you feel if something you did killed Emma back then?” I finally looked at him.

He told me about his first love Emma one morning when we were looking at the sunrise together. It was a tragedy that they had to break up because of long-distance. He seemed really happy with her.

He didn’t reply to my question but I could see it in his eyes that he was trying to put himself in my shoes.

“See? Now you know how I felt. You felt so guilty about what you did to Bill when we slept together now imagine how it would be if someone lost their life because of a stupid mistake you've made.” I tried to explain further.

“Okay, I'm sorry.” He said gently and placed his hand on the bench, filling the gap between us. “I understand. Continue.”

“What I felt with you that night Charlie, was what I imagined every time someone asked me what do I want in a person. It was just as I imagined it would be with someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with.” I slowly removed my hand from my knees and placed it next to his on the bench, our fingers almost touching. “It was even better than that.”

“Why didn't you ever tell me this before?” He breathed.

“Because I couldn't. I know what I did to you was wrong. I know I was playing with your feelings but I was just so drawn to you I couldn't help myself.” I was telling the truth.

There was no point in hiding it anymore.

“I guess.” He bowed his head, turning it to look straight ahead of him.

“After that, I couldn't stop thinking about you. It came so far that I applied to work in Romania.” I continued.

“That was because of me?” He turned back to me with an incredulous expression.

“Of course, it was because of you.” I gave out a faint smile, our eyes locked again.

“But you also applied for the American Sanctuary.” He frowned.

“To make myself think that I was doing it to switch jobs.”

“And I thought I had battles in my head.” His lip twitched as he moved his hand slightly closer to mine.

“I decided to go to Romania anyways but I knew what I was doing was wrong so to stop myself from doing anything stupid I started dating Nick.” I gave out a deep sigh.

“So you knew he was a prick?” I wanted to laugh at the nickname he gave him but stopped myself just in time, placing a hand over my mouth.

“Of course, I knew!”

“Then why in the bloody hell did you go out with him?” He failed to understand.

“I wanted to punish myself.” I admitted.

Saying it out loud sounded insane.

“What?”

“Look, he wasn't all that bad but he did have a big ego and he only cared for himself.” I wasn’t trying to defend him but I had to make him see why I did what I did.

“So, you thought that being with him was better than being with me?”

I felt something break in me. How could he even think that? How could he even compare himself to Nick? Did he think so low of himself? Did I make him think that way?

“No.” I shook my head hard. “Nothing can compare to being with you in any way, Charlie.” I looked him deep in the eyes and moved my hand closer to his, our fingers finally meeting. “But I thought that if I'll be with Nick then I will stop feeling guilty. I couldn't forgive myself for what I've done.”

“I'm trying to understand you, Rhy, but fuck, do you know what you put yourself through here?” He scratched the top of his head. “What you put me through because of your past?”

“I know. I'm sorry.” I felt tears burning my eyes.

My past didn’t make me cry anymore. I was over it and I was proud of that. The way he said what I put him through. The pain in his voice even though he tried to understand what I was telling him. That’s what brought tears to my eyes.

“Please, continue your story. You're telling me everything.” It made my heart beat faster just knowing that he was still willing to listen.

“When I got to Romania and saw you, all those feelings came back and I hated myself for it. I saw the way you were looking at me, I'm not blind. I just didn't dare to do anything about it. I was falling for you as fast as Bean eats his dinner and it was killing me because I didn't allow myself to tell you.” His lips curved into a smile when I compared my feelings to a dragon.

“But why didn't you? What did you think would happen? That you'd poison me too?”

“I thought I didn't deserve you!” I blurted.

“Rubbish!” He scoffed. “You made a mistake. You are allowed to be forgiven.” He entwined our fingers and I wanted to melt at his touch.

Fuck, I missed him so much.

“I didn't think that.” I said slowly, my eyes on our hands. “I thought that you were too good for me, I still do.”

“Rhy...” He tilted his head, bringing his shoulder closer to mine.

“I know. I said I'm better I didn't say I'm all there yet.” I bestowed him with a smile.

“So why did you sleep with me after the party in the Sanctuary if you felt like you weren't good enough for me?” He continued.

“I was just drunk enough. It was the same as at the Burrow. I wasn't brave enough to do anything about it while sober. The booze got me just enough courage to bury all the bad feelings and just give in.” I closed my eyes, reminiscing on it.

“That you did.” He chuckled.

He actually chuckled!

I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest by hearing that noise. His laugh was always my favorite. He never gave you more than a smile if he didn’t find something worth laughing for.

“Charlie, that night...” I bit my lip and locked my eyes with his.

“I know. It was amazing.” He bent his lips inwards and I could see the night rolling in front of his eyes.

“It was so much more than that.” I couldn’t find the words to describe it.

No one could. But I know we both knew exactly what it meant.

“Then why did you tell Nick? Why didn't you just stop all the madness then and there if it meant so much to you?” He squinted his eyes.

“Don't you get it?” I chortled. “I did it because it meant so much to me. I felt too happy. I couldn't allow myself to feel that. I was terrified of how good it was, Charlie. What I feel for you is something that people describe in romance novels, I didn't even know it was real.”

“So you went back to your boyfriend to torture yourself.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. But not a judgmental one.

“Yes. Trust me I know how it sounds. I thought I deserved to be in pain. I constantly searched for something that would hurt me so that I could redeem myself for what I did at Beauxbatons. I thought that by telling Nick I will make you see that I'm hurting you. I wanted you to get over me, to be with someone better. With someone who won't hurt you.”

And in the process, I hurt him more instead of setting him free.

“There is no one better for me, Rhylee.” He said with a soft voice that woke up all the butterflies in my stomach again. “Don't you get it? Ever since we slept together at the Burrow there was nobody that could compare to you. And you only hurt me because of the things you were doing to yourself. If I knew the reason behind all your actions I would've done things differently myself.” He pressed my fingers together with his, his eyes full of understanding.

“I know. I'm sorry.” I shook my head. “You have no idea how sorry I am about it. I thought I was doing you a favor but I didn't put myself in your shoes. I didn't...” I choked.

“You didn't love yourself enough to be with me.” He finished my sentence.

“You sound like my therapist.” I chuckled.

“So, I am finally understanding what you're saying?”

I replied to his question with a hum.

“And what does your therapist think about your relationship with Nick?” Something in his eyes shifted.

They weren’t soft anymore, they were angry.

“Nick and I broke up in February.” I said.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” He murmured.

“I know you don't mean that. It was for the best.” I assured him.

“So, is Lyla helping you with the baby then?” I turned to him abruptly, blinking.

“I...I lost the baby.” I said with a husky voice.

“What?” Charlie jumped in his seat.

I don’t know why I thought that Bill told him.

“Yeah...” I tried to smile but failed. “The healers said there was nothing they could do. Sometimes it just happens.”

I tried to act strong but this was one of the few things I wasn’t over yet. Yes, it was Nick’s baby, and being pregnant at the time wasn’t something I planned or wished for but something changes when you’re pregnant and it still hurt that I lost the baby. I felt my eyes water again.

“I am so sorry, Rhy.” I could hear how sorry he was in his voice.

Without saying anything else he pulled me into a hug. How I missed his hugs and his smell. He always smelled so nice. Like how I would describe a summer breeze if it had a smell.

“Thank you. It's the reason Nick and I broke up. He blamed me for losing the baby.” I mumbled into his shoulder.

“He what?!” Charlie barked, pulling away from me.

“It's okay, Charlie. I brought this on myself and I had to deal with it. Losing the baby was my breaking point. I knew I had to get out of it. I hit rock bottom. That's why Lyla got me into therapy. I was in my bed for days and she lost it.” I tried calming him down.

“I would too. She did the right thing and since you look better I assume it helped you.”

“It did wonders.” An appreciative smile painted my face. Getting into therapy was the best decision I have made in years. “I’m not done with therapy but I am making progress.”

“So did you put yourself through enough shit now or do you still have a wish to torment yourself?” He asked in a serious voice.

“No, I'm done. I wouldn't be at this wedding otherwise.” I got shy all of a sudden.

I told him everything he needed to know and this was it. It was time to see if he can forgive me. I know what a bombshell I dropped on him and I know it’s a lot to process and I wouldn’t want to rush him. I just wanted us to be on speaking terms again. I knew I would never get more than that.

“I don't understand.” His brows got closer together.

“I came here to apologize to you besides being here for Bill and being happy for him being so much in love.” I said truthfully.

“Is that the only reason you're here – to apologize?” He gently bumped into my shoulder and leaned closer to me.

Was he going for a kiss?

“Are you sure?” I couldn’t believe it.

I didn’t dare to dream about us ever being anything more than friends again.

“I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” He placed his hand on my cheek and I trembled under his touch.

“But I hurt you so much, Charlie. Can you really forgive me for everything I put you through so fast?” I had to know that he was sure.

I had to know that he forgave me for all the pain I caused him.

“I'm still in love with you, Rhy.” He brushed his nose against mine and rested his forehead on mine.

We never said the words. We didn’t have the chance to but then again we never had to. We both knew how we felt about each other.

“If Bill could forgive me for sleeping with you without even thinking twice about it, then you have to know you are already forgiven. I was never mad at you I just felt sorry for you because you were ruining yourself when you could have everything you ever wanted with me.”

That was it. That’s what I needed to hear. I pressed my lips hard against his and I felt my body melting when he returned the kiss. It was just as I remembered. His lips were soft and he tasted like Fire Whiskey which made my lips curve.

“Damn, it feels nice to kiss you and know nobody's getting hurt for it.” He said after pulling away.

“Tell me about it.” I kissed him again.

I finally don’t have to feel guilty for kissing him. He doesn’t have to feel guilty. I could feel the happiness and the realization, that we can finally be together, without the drama without thinking of anyone else, vibrate through my body.

“We needed a long time to get here, didn't we?” I giggled. “Only a few years, give or take.” I joked and kissed him again.

I will never get enough of this.

“Give or take, yeah.” He laughed and kissed my forehead.

“It took us a while but at least we're here now and it feels right.” I couldn’t stop smiling.

This was the best feeling in the world.

“I thought we would never get the chance to be together. There were so many obstacles in our way. Always a reason why we can't be with each other.”

“Is it bad if I say I wouldn't have it any other way?” I cupped his face and searched for the answer in his eyes.

“No.” He shook his head lightly. “It's kind of nice if you think about it. You have to go through hell sometimes to get to the good stuff.”

“Yeah.” He was right. We’ve been through so much. I made us go through so much but in the end, we still ended up together. “Makes you think that perhaps, we were meant to be.”

His lips curved as I said that and I knew he was thinking the same as he leaned in for another kiss.

THE END

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read this story. ❤️ I know it's shorter and it didn't have that much fluff in it and some of you thought I was cruel to Charlie for breaking his heart so many times. I know - my brain comes up with weird stories and I promise in the next one our bean will be nothing but happy. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! ❤️

I know this story isn't as long as the last one but this is how I pictured it. The wedding still gets disturbed by the death eaters. Peter gives Rhylee her job back and she moves back to Romania. Rhylee helps with the Order and she fights in the Battle of Hogwarts. Because of everything that went down and with all of the war trauma she and Charlie move to Britain for a little while to be closer to family and friends and they both go to therapy. After a few years, they move back to Romania and they move in together.

For all of you, that ship Theodore and Gerta (I got a few messages about them and it amused me so much because I love them together) - after Theo never giving up and asking her out all the time, Gerta finally gives in saying yes to a date. She can't believe how sweet Theo is and what a romantic he is. They were dating for 6 months when Theodore popped the question and when they got married all his teammates were his best men.

And as I said yesterday: I know that what Rhylee went through can't be solved with 6 months worth of therapy as is stated in the story. I needed to fit it in the timeline to align everything with Bill's wedding and is the only reason why I picked 6 months. One of my best friends has a Ph.D. in psychotherapy and she told me that with Rhylee's situation of feeling so guilty and wanting to torment herself it is very unrealistic that she would be as fine as I wrote her to be - I am fully aware of that. I apologize if I made anyone uncomfortable with it or if anyone finds it offensive in any way.

[illfoandillfie]

Promise

Pairing: Aromantic!Fem!Reader x Ben Hardy

Warnings: Implied smut and some Feelings talk but honestly it’s pretty tame.

Words: 1,413

A/N: It’s Aggressively Arospec Week! So, as promised, I’m going to be posting a few blurbs/short one shots and things during the coming week to celebrate, all of them taking place within my Platonically verse. All of the posts will be tagged as “platonically event” in case you want to find them later (or block the tag)

This first one is inspired by a song - Promise by The Novel Ideas. I think it was probably written with a more romantic relationship in mind but theres a few lyrics in there that I choose to interpret as queerplatonic, and that especially reminded me of Ben and Reader in Platonically.

Ben’s house was a comforting place. You’d always felt comfortable there, since you’d first become friends with Ben, but especially after you got together. It was bigger than your place for one, an actual house and not a rundown flat you had to share to afford, though it was still fairly small. Its yard was almost non-existent but there was a scrap out the back that caught the sun in the afternoons. More than once you and however many friends had huddled there on wintery afternoons to warm up or else sprawled out in as few layers as you could get away with hoping the mercury wouldn’t rise much higher. So, after a day mostly spent indoors, huddled at your computers, you and Ben decided it might be nice to take a picnic rug out into the sunshine to relax before you had to worry about dinner. Of course, when Ben suggested the idea he chose to use the phrase, “boost our vitamin D levels” and you thought he was insinuating something else entirely.   “Well if that’s really what you want,” he laughed, pretending to reach for the waistband of his joggers.

Instead you stuck to his original idea, grabbing a fuzzy orange blanket from his wardrobe and laying it out over the patchy grass, throwing a couple of pillows down on top so your heads at least would be comfortable. For a while you just sort of did your own things near each other. Ben was preparing for a new movie so took the opportunity to read over the information he had and sections of the script, occasionally muttering to himself or highlighting something important (nearly always almost dropping his phone onto his face). And you happily stretched out beside him, relishing the warmth of the sun as you played games on your phone and scrolled through Tumblr. But, the lower in the sky the sun got, the closer together you moved until the sky was tinted with pink and you were laying perpendicular to each other, your head resting on his stomach. With a sigh, Ben set aside his phone and looked up at the wispy clouds moving across the sky. You knew what he was thinking about though he stayed quiet. “How long before you go?” “We start shooting in two weeks but I fly out a little before that just so I can get settled and meet everyone and there’s time to do any prep stuff before filming actually begins.” He paused but realised he hadn’t really answered you, “twelve days,” “Thats ages away,” you said with a soft laugh though you both knew the time would go by quickly. It wouldn’t be the first time you waved Ben off at the airport, but it would be the first time since you’d decided to be queerplatonic partners. Something about it made you a little sad, knowing you wouldn’t have your best friend by your side for the few months it took to film the movie, but it wasn’t the end of the world and you were excited on his behalf too.   Ben sighed again, less audibly than before but you could feel it in the way his stomach and chest moved so you rolled over to face him, propping yourself up on your elbow, studying the pensive expression he wore and determining he needed cheering up.   “I expect you to bring me back a present,” He smiled, his eyes drifting from the sky down to you as he let his head turn to the side, “I’ll keep that in mind,” “And I don’t mean something crappy like sweets or whatever junk you usually bring me. That was fine before but there has to be some sort of perk since I’m your partner now. I mean, everyone thinks I’m your girlfriend so you really have no choice here, you have to bring me something good.” The smile slowly spread until Ben was laughing, “Okay, something good it is then.” You giggled along with him, ignoring the patch of hard dirt under your elbow until you couldn’t any longer and instead rolled onto your back so you could lie beside him and let him wrap you up in his arms. And for a little while that was enough. It was close to being too warm, hot as you were from laying in the sun, but you didn’t mind, content in the knowledge that Ben was happy too.

Slowly his grip loosened until it was just his palm rubbing gently over your stomach and side, his thoughts back where they’d been before, “If I’d known I wouldn’t have auditioned for the movie,” “What?” “If I’d known things between us would work. At the time I kinda figured it was a good excuse in case asking you out ruined shit. I could just lay low for a few weeks and then dip, give you some space. But now it kinda feels like a mistake.” “Are you kidding? It’s a great roll, Ben, and you’re going to be amazing in it.” “Yeah I know, and I am excited about it,” “I’d hope so since it means you get to go to Greece,” He gave another soft chuckle at that, “Yeah that’s definitely part of my excitement. And it will be fun. But things are really good with you. Like really good. And I don’t want to ruin that by leaving.” You understood where he was coming from but still felt he was being a bit ridiculous, “You better not be getting romantically sentimental on me. It’s not like we live in the Regency period and have to rely on letters in the post or whatever. And besides, we’re not romantically involved so it’s a bit stupid for you to get all depressed about going.” You gave him a poke in the ribs for good measure.   “I promise I’m not,” there was an audible lift in his voice, “I just feel very protective of you. I don’t want you to be sad.” “Uhhhh, I’m going to be house sitting for you so there’s no chance of me being sad. I’ll have this place to myself and I am definitely going to enjoy it. Playing music as loud as I want, eating my way through your stash of chocolate, playing all your video games whenever I want. Able to be loud when I masturbate. No need to worry about accidentally waking up a roommate or walking in on her giving her boyfriend a bj. Fucking paradise really.” Ben snorted at the last bit and squeezed you tight again before kissing your temple, “Okay, sad isn’t a problem then. But I also don’t want you to realise I’m not necessary.” It was your turn to snort though it was less about amusement and more about how daft Ben sounded, “But you aren’t necessary.” “Way to make a guy feel special Y/N,” “No it’s a good thing. Like, being aro, I know I don’t need a relationship of any kind and, honestly, I’d be happy being single. I was happy being single for a long time. I have no desire for a relationship. But I want to be with you anyway. It doesn’t matter that I don’t feel a particular way for you. I just like you so much and think you’re such a good friend and we have so much fun that I’m happy with you. And I don’t want to stop being with you. You being in Greece isn’t going to change that.” “Guess I never thought of it like that. Kinda sweet actually.” “Plus, y’know, we’re pretty great at sex, right?” “Oh definitely great at it.”

It was much darker by then, the sun hanging low in the sky, but you barely noticed as Ben’s lips met yours, soft and comforting at first though neither of you seemed to want to be the one to stop the kiss. So neither of you did stop it. Instead you both shifted around to make it easier, eventually settling with his knee between your legs, giving you something to rock against as his arms loosened and his hands slid down to cup your arse. You knew you would miss him while he was away. He was your best friend so of course you would. But you weren’t worried. And you hoped you could at least distract Ben from whatever worries he had about it, if not cure them entirely.   “It’s getting dark Benny, you wanna move this inside? Think I’m a little low on Vitamin D.”

[mochegato]

I Don’t Even Know My Last Name

Written for the Jasonette July prompt Honeymoon.  

Y’all know how this is going to go already.  This was supposed to be a short, cute interlude while I had writer’s block on another story and it turned in to this behemoth.  In which they are idiots about identities and we are all Roy.  

 As Marinette slowly entered back into consciousness her brain started trying to make sense of the world around her.  Why was her head throbbing?  Why was she waking up before her alarm?  And how bad had the fight been last night to warrant her feeling like this today?  They had been fighting someone, right?  Maybe? Thinking really hurt right now.  Everything hurt.  Except whatever she was laying on.  That felt really, really nice.  Everything but the cloud she was on hurt.  The cloud could stay, everything else had to go, including thinking.  Thinking could wait until later.  There was absolutely nothing she needed to know right now that was urgent enough to warrant making her head hurt more.

She groaned as she tentatively opened her eyes. It wasn’t a cloud, it was a bed. A really fluffy, white bed.  She greatly approved of this bed.  Whoever’s bed this was, because this was not her bed… and this was not her room, which made sense since it wasn’t her bed.  She congratulated herself on successfully following that logic process without causing a migraine.  

How had she ended up in this amazing bed that didn’t belong to her?  She didn’t remember going home with anyone.  Actually, she didn’t remember anything from last night… what happened in that fight?  If there was a fight.  Was there one?  You know what, still not urgent enough to warrant the pain of thinking.

She groaned and closed her eyes again.  She was just starting to ease back to sleep when she felt arms wrap around her from behind.  She whisper squealed and fell out of the bed as she fumbled to get away from the offending arms.  

This!  This was more important than the pain.  This warranted thinking, remembering.  Recalling what happened last night, who she had gone home with, and why.  

Marinette waited a few seconds huddled against the bed, getting into a position to fight, should she need to.  She waited to see what the person in the bed would do next… which was apparently to let out a quiet snore?  She needed to take stock of the situation and come up with a plan. She might be… oh God, naked.  She was naked.  She squeezed her eyes shut in frustration and let out a steadying breath. She might be naked, but she was still Ladybug, damn it.  She slowly raised her head just high enough over the edge of the bed to observe the person still asleep in it.  

The first thing she noticed was he was a very large man.  He seemed like he would be tall, maybe even as tall as her dad.  His broad, exposed chest and arms were solid, toned muscle. He had a number of scars marking up his chest indicating violent past.  Despite the violence on his body, his face looked completely at peace.  He had beautifully defined features with high cheekbones and a squared jaw.  His tousled, black hair fell over his eyes.  He was an extremely handsome man… who she did not remotely recognize.  She had gone home with a total stranger.  This was a disaster!  She needed to figure out what happened RIGHT NOW.

“Tikki?” she called out quietly.  “Tikki where are you?”  She whisper shouted a little louder this time, trying to keep quiet enough not to wake the stranger.  It must have still been a little too loud because just then the man let out a sleepy grunt surprising the already on edge Marinette.  She eeped in response, grabbing the comforter off the bed as she fell backwards.  She quickly wrapped the comforter around herself to try and protect some kind of modesty in her decidedly immodest state.  

The movement of the comforter managed to finally wake the man.  He started groaning quietly before opening his eyes to look around the room, taking in the surroundings for himself.  His eyes settled on her and he squeezed his eyes shut with a grunt.  

Jason had been having a really good dream.  He couldn’t remember what he had been dreaming about exactly, but there were a lot of flashes of dark hair, captivating blue eyes, soft yielding lips, bare skin, and beautifully enticing moans.  The eyes and hair were very familiar features to him. He knew who he had been dreaming about. It wasn’t the first time he had dreamed about her.  The woman in front of him was not her.  

“Fuck” he said as he ran his hand over his face in an attempt to force more awareness into his mind.  What the fuck had he done?  He was definitely in love with someone else.  He had been dreaming about her last night.  How did he end up in a hotel room… hotel room? Yeah, probably. This was too pristine to be someone’s actual bedroom… in a hotel room with not her?  

“No offense sweetheart, but who the fuck are you?” the man grumbled out sitting up.

Instead of upsetting her, his blunt manner calmed Marinette slightly.  It was good to know she wasn’t the only one who had no idea what was going on.  “Nice.  If I could remember anything about last night myself, I might be offended,” she responded wryly.  “I’m Marinette.  And you?”

“Jason”

“Nice to meet you Jason.”  

“Yeah, you too.”

He looked at the woman, Marinette, who he had spent the night with… black hair, blue eyes, very soft looking lips, definitely bare skin under that comforter… Had he been dreaming about her?  Or, did he go to bed with her because she looked a little like Ladybug?  Oh shit. Did he sleep with her because she reminded him of Ladybug?  Classy, Jason, real fucking classy.

Marinette backed up against the far wall trying to make sense of the situation.  How had it happened?  She was in love with Red Hood.  They had been getting closer to actually dating, or she thought they were.  Did something happen between them last night? Is that why she went home with someone else?  She looked at the man, Jason, again.  His head was in his hands, gently rubbing his head like he was trying to rub away a hangover. Folded over like that with his face covered, he looked like Hood.  He had the same body frame.  Oh God. What if she went home with him because she had a fight with Hood and Jason reminded her of him?

Looking for anything to cling to so the situation wasn’t as bad as she thought, she looked up at him with pleading eyes and asked, “You don’t suppose there is any chance that we didn’t actually… you know.”

He stared at her incredulously for a few seconds. She could not be serious could she? Yep, that look of panicked desperation definitely indicated she was.  “Sure, we can go with that if you really want,” he swung his legs over the side of the bed being careful not to jostle his throbbing head too much.  He scanned the floor for his clothes.  Underwear, pants, anything.  It was a large room, they must have decided to spring for something really nice.  That was unusual for him.  But, with a room this large, there were lots of places the clothes could have been thrown.

His first scan didn’t reveal any clothes, his or hers.  Seriously, there must be clothes somewhere, they couldn’t have walked in naked. Maybe in their drunken haze they decided to throw their clothes away?  He checked the trash can next to the night stand and sighed at the sight. Well, there goes the hope for chastity. “But, that used… fuck, those used condoms say otherwise.”

Marinette groaned and hit her head on the wall sliding down it.  What had she done?  Even if she wasn’t dating Hood, it felt like she had betrayed him.  She needed to figure out what happened last night.  She needed to know how badly she had screwed up before she faced Hood again.  “What do you remember from last night?  Anything?”

“No, nothing.  But if I can get my phone, I might be able to get some clues.  Any ideas where our clothes are?” he asked wrapping a sheet around his waist and standing tentatively.

“Oooo, that’s a good idea.  No, no idea.  Honestly, I haven’t made it that far yet this morning.” She furrowed her brow, rubbing her forehead when suddenly her head shot up, immediately letting out a loud groan.  That was a mistake.  She dropped her head back down quickly and started rubbing it again to ease the ache she just caused.  “But I have an idea.”  She walked over to the hotel phone and punched a series of buttons.  A few seconds later he heard ringing in the other room.  “…We have two rooms.  Probably should have figured that out already.  Stupid, damn hangover.”

They pulled their makeshift covers tighter around themselves and opened the door to the living room.  Marinette gasped and Jason exhaled heavily at the sight.  It was a mess.  Things were knocked over throughout the room and there was a trail of clothing starting with her ripped underwear hanging on the doorknob and his now buttonless shirt strewn over a pair of overnight bags and purse that had been dropped by the front door.

“We came prepared.”  They must have met, hit it off, decided to come here, gone home and packed a bag, then met at the hotel to get a room. And clearly had enjoyed it if her ripped dress laying at her feet was indication.

“It wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.  We thought this through.  We planned.  What the hell kind of drug does that?”  He grabbed his phone out of his pants pocket and started scanning through his phone. “Check your texts.  If we planned this, we might have texted someone about it.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant!”  She grabbed her phone out of her purse and looked through her calls and texts.  There were a few calls from her business partner but only one text since yesterday, from Spoiler…  She didn’t have Spoiler’s phone number on her personal phone.  At least she didn’t used to.  Apparently that changed last night.  ‘Hey, I know you said to watch the earrings and don’t try them on.  Is that a hard rule?  Is there wiggle room in there?  Also, how long am I supposed to sit on these?  When are you getting back?’  She immediately reached up to her ears and noticed her earrings were not there. She gasped loudly.

WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!!??  Now she knew why Tikki didn’t respond earlier.  She wasn’t just hiding, Marinette had given her to Spoiler to hold for her.  Why had she done that?  She was never separated from Tikki.  What had she been thinking!  Clearly she hadn’t been thinking, that was the entire problem with last night. Tikki must have been acting as the voice of reason, warning her against doing all the things she was doing and Marinette decided she didn’t want to hear her anymore.  Excellent.  Terrible friend.  Terrible guardian.  Terrible romancer.  

“What did you find?”

“Uh, nothing.  Just a… uh… friend asking how long I’m planning on being gone.” She answered absentmindedly.  “Huh, I wonder what she meant ‘gone’.  Did she think I was leaving?”

Marinette looked at the text quizzically for a few seconds before her eyes widened.  “Oh my God! You don’t think…”

Jason jumped up and ran to the curtains in front of the balcony doors, ripping them open.  “Fucking fuck,” he sighed heavily opening up the drapes so she could see the view beyond.  A very distinctive view.  A huge fountain and a street lined with casinos.  “Because we did.  We’re in Vegas”

“How did… How did we get here?”  She asked coming to stand next to him in a daze, staring at the Vegas Strip in terrified wonder.

“No idea,” he said in a defeated voice. “This is so much more complicated than I thought.  We should see what we can piece together.  Maybe over food.  I’m starving.”

“Yeah, me too.  I think I want to take a shower first if you don’t mind.”

“No, go ahead.  I think I’ll do the same after you do,” Marinette gave him a small nod and picked up her bag before heading into the bedroom.

As soon as Marinette walked out of the living room, Jason called Tim.  He picked up on the fifth ring, annoying Jason more than he was already.  “What the fuck happened last night?” Jason demanded before Tim could even say Hi.

“Well Good Morning to you, too.  What do you mean what happened?  Don’t you remember?”  Tim asked.

“Would I be asking you if I remembered, Replacement?” he growled back.

“Damn, you must have been hit with the toxin too,” Tim mused.

“What toxin?” Jason asked, apprehension edging into his voice.

“You didn’t seem to be affected, just a cut on your leg you were going to go home and patch up.  We thought your mask protected you.”  Jason moved the sheet around his waist to look at his leg, only now noticing the patched up thigh.  “You didn’t do anything stupid last night, did you?”

“How stupid are you looking for?  What was the toxin?”

Before Tim could answer Jason heard Marinette give out a loud gasp followed by a strangled noise.  Jason ran into the bedroom, almost forgetting to keep ahold of his sheet in his rush to check on Marinette.   Marinette looked stark white and was having a hard time breathing.  “Hey, are there any after effects of that drug?”

“No, not that we’ve noticed.  Why?”

“Nothing, I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up and threw the phone down, rushing over to her.  “Are you okay?  What happened?”

Marinette didn’t respond.  She couldn’t respond.  The spacious room suddenly felt very small, confining, pressing in on her. She felt like she couldn’t move. Breathing was difficult.  Where had all the air in the room gone?  There wasn’t enough air.  She couldn’t get enough air.  Her sight was blurring.  The only thing she could see was her hand, more specifically the ring on her hand. She was brought back to focus by Jason’s frantic voice.  

“Marinette?  Marinette, you’re starting to scare me here.  What is going on?  Marinette please.  You have to use your words.”

She hesitantly looked up at him still looking dazed.  “That’s… that’s… that’s not my ring,” she stuttered out quietly.

Jason looked down at her hand and saw the band on her hand.  The distinctly wedding looking band on her ring finger.  Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck.  He looked at his own hand and found a distinctly wedding looking tungsten band on his ring finger.  Fuuuuuuuck. There weren’t units large enough to accurately measure how monumentally he had fucked up.  Alfred was going to be so disappointed.  And Ladybug did not seem like the kind of woman who would be cool with him fucking marrying, not to mention actually fucking, someone else while he was flirting with her, of him using some innocent, sweet woman in her place.

“We got married,” she whispered.

He nodded absentmindedly.  “That explains coming to Vegas…” He looked around “…and the room.  We must have sprung for a honeymoon suite.”

Marinette squeaked in response to that.  Tears started to run down her cheeks.  Oh God, now he made her cry.  Excellent.  He was acing this whole thing.  “Hey, hey, it’s okay.  It’ll be okay,” he said not quite sure if he was reassuring her or himself.  “This is Vegas.  There has to be a quick and easy way to annul this, yeah?  We’ll do that, okay?  It will be like this never happened.  We never need to see each other after this.”

She wasn’t responding to him.  It was like his words didn’t register with her.  Her breathing was coming faster again.  He recognized the signs of an anxiety attack. Hell, if he hadn’t been trying to comfort her, he might be spiraling into one too.  He moved closer to her to comfort her.  He reached out to grab her shoulders but paused just short of touching her.  A stranger touching her might make it all worse.  Instead he lowered his hands and held them out in a placating gesture and lowered his head, trying to capture her gaze.  When he finally spoke it was in a soft, gentle voice, “Hey, it’s okay, Marinette.  It’s not our fault, okay?  My brother said we were hit with some kind of toxin last night.  It must be one that messes with your impulses and memory.”  He waited for her eyes to focus again and look at him.  He smiled gently, “Not. Our. Fault.  Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled weakly at him.  He was trying very hard and he was very kind.  But no matter how kind he was, he wasn’t Red Hood… was he?

“This might sound strange but I don’t suppose you’re Red Hood?” said with a small, strained smile.

Jason’s chest tightened.  He stopped breathing.  How had she known that?  He hadn’t told anyone and neither of them remembered last night, so how could she know? She couldn’t.  No, it was a wild guess.  It had to be.  Maybe she was a fan?  Of, fucking fuckity fuck.  Please don’t let him have slept with a groupie.  He gave her a smile that he hoped looked roguish and said, “Do I look like Red Hood?”

“A little bit, yeah,” she responded quietly.

Fair enough.  “No, I’m not.  Why?”

“It would just answer a few things,” she responded softly, looking away from him.  Not Red Hood, just some random guy she had hooked up with.  Probably because he looked a bit like him.  Some nice guy she was using as a proxy since she couldn’t get the real thing.  Awesome. She’s just a stellar example of a human, isn’t she, she thought bitterly.  

She took a deep, calming breath and nodded to herself.  She wiped away her tears and focused back on him.  “Do you know a lawyer we can talk to?  Where do you think the marriage certificate is?  We’re going to need that if we want to get it annulled.” She said more firmly.

“Yeah, I know someone who can be discrete.  You go take that shower and I’ll call her and look for the license,” he responded, glad to hear her sounding more in control.

“Sounds good.  Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” he watched her turn and walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  As soon as she was out of sight he sat down and took a deep breath. He had gotten married.  He had married a complete stranger.  Why would he do that?  Why would he sabotage himself like that?  He chuckled darkly to himself.  That was probably the answer.  To sabotage himself.  And he decided to drag that innocent, sweet woman into this mess with him.  He hung his head in his hands again.  Disappointment rolled off of him in waves.

The only thing he could do for her now was to get the marriage annulled as quickly as possible.  He needed to find the marriage certificate.  After a few minutes he finally found it on the desk in the living room surrounded by a few empty bottles of champagne.  He looked at the certificate.  It certified that Jason Peter Todd married Marinette Xiang Dupain-Cheng in Vegas last night.

 After getting cleaned up and dressed, they made their way to the main floor of the casino.  They wandered around until they found what looked like the least pretentious restaurant in the hotel so they could eat and talk in private.  

The host asked them for the name to put the reservation under.  Marinette opened her mouth to give a name but immediately snapped it shut twirling around, looking at Jason with wide eyes.  “Oh my God… I don’t know my last name.  Wait, did I take your last name?  No. Never mind.  That’s stupid.  There is a whole separate process.  But still, I don’t know your last name.”

Jason smiled at her. “Yeah, we kind of missed that step.  Todd,” he looked at the host.  “Put it under Todd for two.”  

The host nodded and looked back down to his reservation list.  “Right this way, please,” he motioned for them to follow him.

They started walking but paused when they heard yelling.  “Yo! Jason!  Mari!”  They looked over to see a red headed man running toward them with a big smile.  “There you guys are!  I was wondering when you would wake up and if you would bother to leave your room today at all.”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”  Marinette asked her brow furrowed confused.  Man didn’t seem familiar to her but he was acting like he knew them.

The man gave her a baffled look at her for a second.  “Seriously? How drunk did you guys get last night after I left?”

Jason stepped in “Marinette, this is my best friend, Roy.  He must have come with us.”

Roy stared at him waiting for the punchline. But they didn’t laugh.  Their faces were completely serious.  “Yeah, we met yesterday.  Remember?” he asked slowly.

“Not really no.  Neither of us do.  We remember being in Gotham at the beginning of the night but everything after that is gone.”  Marinette supplied seriously.

Roy burst out laughing.  “Oh my god!  Seriously? I’m going to need popcorn for this. You don’t remember yesterday at all?”

“This isn’t funny, Roy.” Jason warned him.

“Oh no, it is.  It really, really is.” Roy said, giving him a huge grin and vibrating with excitement.  “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!  This is going to be so good.”

“What is going to be good?” Jason eyed him suspiciously.  “What do you know?”

“I know what happened last night and I’m not going to tell you,” he sing songed.  “I will say this though.  We got here on Oliver’s jet, a wedding present he doesn’t know about yet, so is the room actually, I’ll tell him about it later,” he said conspiratorially before continuing, “also, nobody coerced anyone into anything, and you,” he pointed at Marinette, “know me a lot better than you think you do.”

She stared at him hard.  What did that mean?  How could she know him if she didn’t remember him?  “Oh my God!” she squeaked out.  “Oh God.  Oh my God!” She started hyperventilating, panicking over the only reason she could think of, “how drugged up was I last night?  Tell me we didn’t…”

“Oh God, NO.  And thanks for the look of utter disgust, by the way.  I’m a mother fucking catch, thank you very much.  But agreed,” he said pointing between the two of them, “ew. Plus I don’t have a death wish.  No, not in the Biblical sense.  In the platonic, trust you with my life, but not my croissant way.”

The host cleared his throat reminding them he was still waiting to take them to a table.  They looked at Roy questioningly but he backed out immediately.  “You guys go ahead.  I’ve already eaten.”

Roy watched them be led into the restaurant. As soon as they were out of ear shot he leaned over to the host and said, “Please tell me there’s a seat at the bar close to where they’re sitting.  Maybe one close enough to hear what they’re saying but not one they can see?” he held up a hundred dollar bill.  “I don’t want to miss this.”

The host nodded and grabbed the bill, “Right this way, sir”

 “Sorry about my friend.  He can be like that sometimes.” Jason apologized taking a bite of his food.

“He seems nice. My friends would get along well with him.  If you don’t want him, can I keep him in the divorce?”

“I’m going to give that a lot of consideration.” He chuckled lightly. “But it looks like he isn’t going to be any help in piecing last night together. So, what is the last thing you remember before this morning?”

“I remember getting dressed for the night.”

“To do what?”

“Ha… hang out with friends.  Honestly, I don’t even remember where we went, just a vague recollection of leaving my apartment.  How about you?  What do you remember?”

“About the same.  Getting ready to go out with my family.  I remember meeting up with them.  I have a fuzzy memory of messing around with them, but nothing concrete.  I don’t even have flashes of anything.”  He reviewed what he knew about the night before, which was really just what Tim had told him.  “You know, my brother was surprised I couldn’t remember last night.  I must have been acting normally while I was with him.  So the toxin must not make you act too wildly out of character.”

“I don’t know, getting married to a stranger is pretty wildly out of character for me,” she gave him a wry smile before turning thoughtful.  “Your friend seemed surprised that we didn’t remember and he was with us all night. He doesn’t know me enough to know if I’m acting strangely, but he should know you well enough to pick up on whether you were.  Are we sure it was the toxin?  Because either it wasn’t the toxin, the toxin had a delayed reaction, or the effect was not easily observed.”  She leaned back in consideration, “Could we have gotten that drunk, like blackout drunk?”

“That’s awfully drunk.  And how drunk did we have to be before even leaving Gotham to decide we were going to get married to strangers?  But those are really good points.”  

“I mean, I’m pretty hard to resist.  You might not have needed much convincing,” she smiled cheekily at him.

“I have absolutely no doubt about that, princess,” he smiled back at her.  He could see how someone could fall for her.  She was beautiful.  Her hair fell gently around her face, framing it to bring focus to her mesmerizing eyes. Her dress brought attention to her shape without showing much skin.  She had already shown she was a quick thinker, funny, and kind.  He could definitely see how he could have ended up with her.  But he didn’t love her.  He loved someone else.  Someone he wanted to get back to and see what she thought of it, see if she would forgive him.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face again. They didn’t have many clues and none of them seemed to fit together.  None of this made any sense.  He looked over to his temporary wife.  Her eyes were pointed toward the flowers on the table but her focus seemed to go beyond.  Her brow was furrowed in thought.  

“Come on,” he said downing the last of his drink, “let’s get out of here.”

They just made it out of the restaurant when Roy came up behind them and tossed his arms over their shoulders.  “Soooo, since you guys have decided to leave your little love nest and have replenished your energy, how about we hit the craps tables?  I’m sure you can spot a winner when you see one, Mari.  You are the expert on getting lucky after all.”  He said with a wink.

Jason hit his chest, “Don’t be so crass, jackass.”

Marinette’s eyes widened.  He knows who she is.  How would he know who she is?  Did she reveal herself to him last night?  Why would she do that?  She wouldn’t, right?  Even with lowered inhibitions.  Not unless he was a hero too.  Who does he look like?  She stared at him, head cocked to the side, really looking at him.  Roughly her age and red hair.  So not Batman or one of the batboys.  She’d never seen Hood without his helmet but Roy’s build didn’t match Hood’s.  Who has red hair?  Arsenal.  Her head shot up and she straightened up.  Red hair, her age, same build… He’s Arsenal!  

But no, that’s not right.  If he’s Arsenal… she looked back at Jason.  Jason said he was Arsenal’s best friend.  Hood is Arsenal’s best friend.  Jason is Red Hood.  That’s why his body shape looked like Hood’s.  She knew her designer eye for measurements wouldn’t let her down like that.  She had been right!  He was Hood. She married Red Hood. Oh my God!!  She married Red Hood!  That’s why they got married.  She didn’t just marry some random stranger!!  Thank God. Wait…

“What do you think?  Want to hit the casino before we go back?”  Jason asked, completely oblivious to Marinette’s discovery. When she didn’t respond, he turned back toward her only to find her staring at him astonished.  “What’s up, Marinette?  You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

That brought her out of her stupor and her expression quickly morphed into anger.  “You!”

“Me…”

“Him” Roy grinned from the side.

“You… you… you absolute ASS.  Do you know how guilty I felt?  How disappointed in myself I was?  All morning!  All morning I’ve felt terrible about myself.  I felt like I’d betrayed you!  And none of it would have happened if you just would have told me the truth! You unbelievably asinine asshole,” she yelled before she stormed off.

Jason stared after her.  “What was that about?”

Roy was jumping up and down still grinning like a kid at Christmas, well none of the kids Jason knew, but middle class kids at Christmas.  “This is what I’ve been waiting for.  Honestly, I’m a little disappointed.  It took far less time than I was hoping.  My hints were too good.  She picked up on them too quickly.  I always knew she was smarter than you.”  He patted Jason on the back.  “Well, go after her.  You know you want to.”

Jason looked at him with furrowed brow.  “We’re going to discuss this when we get home,” he growled at him.  “That woman doesn’t deserve this.  You’re playing games and she is the one that’s going to get hurt.  Why would you let us get married?  Why didn’t you stop me?  You know how I feel about Ladybug.  Why would you let me marry some stranger?”  

“You know, I do know how you feel and yet I let you elope with Marinette.  What does that tell you?” Roy responded with a smug smile.

“It tells me you’re a sadistic fucking asshole and we are done.  When we get back to Gotham, I don’t want to see your face again.” He shoved Roy back and ran after Marinette.

He found her in the hotel’s botanic garden pacing back and forth, talking to herself quietly with animated gestures.  Watching her caused an annoyingly familiar niggling sensation in the back of his mind, like it was trying to push something to the forefront but getting derailed along the way.  He approached her slowly, trying not to upset her more than he already had somehow.  “Hey Marinette.  You okay? What happened back there?”

She froze for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and turning toward him.  She took another few seconds and a deep breath before she continued.  Her eyes flicked up to his then turned away focusing on the display of flowers next to them.  “I’m trying to decide how upset with you I am.”

Well, that was better than calling him an asshole again.  “Okay… Let’s hear the argument either way.”

She looked back at him, staring at him with those beautiful, somehow familiar blue eyes. “Well, on one hand I’ve been feeling absolutely horrible about myself.  I was raised not to just end up in bed with someone when I didn’t even know their name.  Not even your first name.  I’ve never had and never wanted to have a one night stand and here I made it worse by turning a one night stand into a drunken marriage.”

“Sorry,” he said guiltily, shuffling his feet.

“You don’t even know what you are apologizing for yet.” She responded exasperated.

“There’s more?”

“There’s more.  And it all could have been avoided if you would have just told me the truth.”

“What did I lie about?  I’ve tried to be completely truthful with you.”

“Really?” She looked around again to make sure nobody could overhear them “You want to try that one again, Hood?” despite knowing nobody was around she still lowered her voice with the last word.

“Excuse me?” He looked around too “I don’t know why you keep saying that….” He looked at her and stopped.  Her deadpan expression let him know that she knew. She knew and nothing he said would convince her otherwise.  He moved closer to her and lowered his voice, “You really need to be careful about what you say.  If the wrong person hears my identity it could get me or one of the other vigilantes killed.  And someone who isn’t the wrong person now could become the wrong person with the right pressure.  It is safest for everyone if nobody else knows.”

“I was careful.  The only one close enough to hear is Roy.” She said indicating the other side of the hedges they were standing next to.

His head whipped around toward the hedge and he glared looking for his friend.  Finally spotting his red shirt through some leaves he yelled “What the fuck, Roy?”

“What!?  I told you I’ve been waiting for this.  And finally! Finally it’s happening.  I’m not going to miss it.  Now pay attention or you’re going to miss the best part.”

“Best part?” he asked confused, turning to Marinette.

She sighed “God, it’s a miracle you idiots are still alive,” she said shaking her head.  “That’s the other side.  I understand the importance of a secret identity and I can’t honestly say I would have responded any differently if you had asked me if I was Ladybug.” She looked up at him softly.

“So… which side won?  Are you still upset with me?” he asked.

She stared at him incredulously.  He couldn’t be serious, could he?  Red Hood was smarter than this.  Maybe she had gotten it wrong because Hood was impulsive but he wasn’t stupid.  But Roy’s response confirmed her original suspicion, “Seriously?  What did I say about her being smarter?  You’re supposed to be a great detective.  I’m taking away that title.  You’re never allowed to claim anything like it again.  And, I’m telling Dick about this when we get home so he can remind you when I’m not around.”

Jason looked between the two of them, replaying what she said.  He had clearly missed something.  She had said something important.  What did she say?  She said she would have done the same.  So she isn’t upset, right?  No, that isn’t it.  There was something more to deserve the way they were both looking at him.  She would have done the same if he had asked if she was… “Ladybug!  You’re Ladybug!”

“What were you just saying about secret identities?  Maybe try not to let all of Vegas know.”

He smiled down at her almost reverently.  He reached out to touch her face hesitantly and ran his other hand through her hair, just to confirm to himself that it was her.  She was real and she was right there in front of him.  She was Ladybug.  Marinette was Ladybug.  And she was here with him.  “Hey, Pixie.”

She smiled sweetly back at him and leaned into his hand on her face.  “Hey, Red.”

His smile grew wider, “Marinette…” he said gently as if testing to see how the name felt on his tongue.  “Your name is Marinette.”  

She returned the smile “And yours is Jason.  It’s nice to finally be able to see your face,” she said caressing his face and moving his bangs off of his face.

“Soooo, are we still done?” Roy interrupted smugly.

Jason huffed in response, annoyed at the interruption of their moment.  “No, I forgive you.  Now, fuck off, Roy.”  He returned his attention back to Marinette.  “Think you’ll be able to focus on our missions knowing this,” indicating his face, “is under that helmet?”

She rolled her eyes “You think there is anything more distracting than that helmet? If I can block that out, I can block anything out.” She smirked up at him.

“Rude.” He responded in mock offense.  He smiled down at her, “Because I don’t know if I’ll be able to.”  She looked at him in confusion “I don’t think I’ll be able to focus now that I know who’s under the mask.” He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and ran his thumb over her cheek.

His eyes looked down to her lips and he leaned down.  He flicked his eyes back up to hers as if asking permission.  She smiled in response and rose up on her toes to get closer.  “Hey!” they jumped apart and turned to Roy.  A casino security guard had grabbed him and was pulling him away.  “I wasn’t peeping.  They are in public.  It isn’t illegal to watch two people in public and they are my friends.  Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this? Do you know how long I’ve had to put up with them?”

The large security guard turned to the couple and asked, “Do you know this man?”

“No officer, I can’t say we do.”  Jason grabbed Marinette’s hand and pulled her behind him, “Come on, let’s talk back in the room.  Where we can get a little privacy,” he said aside to her but loudly enough for the guard to hear as he pulled her out of the garden and back toward their room.

“Not fucking funny, Jason.  Jason? Jason!” Roy yelled after their retreating figures as they ran away.

“Come on, son. Let’s have a little talk about respecting other people’s boundaries.”

“Do you know what a slow-burn is, sir?” the guard looked at him through narrowed eyes but bobbed his head slightly to indicate that he was familiar with the concept. “I’ve been living through a real life 200,000 word slow burn story with those two and I’m finally, finally seeing the payoff.  Please, sir.  I’ve earned this.”

 They stood next to each other during the elevator ride up to their floor, still holding hands and shooting each other soft looks and shy grins.  He smiled down at her as he opened their room door.  As soon as the door closed, Marinette’s phone rang.  “Damn it.  I have to answer this.  Sorry,” she said looking apologetically up at him.  “Excuse me just a second.”  She walked into the bedroom as she started talking.

Jason watched her walk away with a smile. Ladybug.  He’d married Ladybug.  Ladybug was his wife!  Jason couldn’t believe it.  No matter how many times he repeated it, it didn’t seem real.  He smiled as he looked out over Vegas.  His bliss was cut short by his phone ringing this time.  He checked and saw it was the Wayne Enterprises lawyer he had contacted earlier in the day.  “This is Jason,” he answered. “Uh huh.  Yeah.  Got it. We might want to put that on hold for now.  Yeah, I’ll let you know.  Thanks.” He hung up and looked toward the bedroom door.  Everything was different now that they knew each others’ identities.  At least it was for him.  He wasn’t sure if it was for her.  They hadn’t had that conversation yet.  They needed to talk about what they both wanted to do.

Jason cracked the bedroom door slightly, poking his head in to see if Marinette was still on the phone.  He found her standing against the windows looking out over Vegas as she spoke on the phone.  He frowned noting her frustrated expression.  “No, I'll be back as soon as I can.  Yeah I know.  It was a mistake.  I wasn’t thinking.  Yeah, yeah, I know that.”  She paused listening to the person on the other end of the phone.  “I know! I’m sorry.  I'm going to fix it as soon as I can, okay.  It’ll be like it never happened.  Yeah, I’ll talk to you tomorrow after it’s done, okay?”  She hung up the phone.

He backed out of the room and quietly closed the door.  His heart clenched.  He couldn’t breathe.  She thought their marriage was a mistake and she was looking forward to getting out of it as soon as possible.  He had read the whole thing wrong.  He was so stupid.  She hadn’t been interested in him.  Of course she wasn’t.  They were just flirting, having fun.  It didn’t mean anything to her.  

His head popped up as the bedroom door opened and she came out looking at him sheepishly.  “Sorry about that.”

“No, it’s okay,” he said gathering himself and trying to even out his voice.  She didn’t need to know how devastated he was.  They could go back to the way they were. They’d get the marriage annulled and they’d just go back to… what?  Friends? Flirting?  He didn’t know.  “I just got a call from the lawyer.  She says she can see us tomorrow to start the annulment proceedings.”

“Oh… right.” Her smile faltered but she quickly recovered and plastered on a fake smile. “We should probably head back to Gotham soon then so we don’t miss it then.”

“Right,” he agreed.  He stared at the floor for a few awkward moments without moving.  “I’ll… I’ll go talk to Roy about getting the jet ready to head back.”

“Thanks Jason.” She offered him a strained smile.  “I guess I’ll start picking up our things in here to get ready.”

Jason just nodded in response and left to find Roy’s room.

 Jason paced the hallway trying to calm his racing heart down.  He was fighting the need to punch something.  He whipped his head around when he heard the sound of the elevator arriving on the floor.  Roy walked out and spotted him immediately.  “Not cool, man.” He scolded Jason before he saw his expression. “Hey, what happened?”

“How soon can you get the jet prepped to leave?”  Jason demanded coldly.

“I can have it ready by tomorrow morning.  Why?  Are you seriously going to head back so soon?  Don't you want to extend the honeymoon more than one day?” he waggled his eyebrows at Jason.

“It’s not a honeymoon.  You don’t get a honeymoon for marriages that aren’t real,” Jason let out bitterly.

“Not real? Seriously?  It looked pretty real to me.”  Jason glared at him.  He had missed something.  Something had to have happened in the 15 minutes between when he last saw them and now. They had been doing that sappy, in love thing couples did before.  “You could make it one.”  Roy suggested hesitantly.

“She isn’t interested.  She made that very clear.”  Jason growled back.

“When?” Roy asked in shock.

“All fucking day, Roy.  She’s mentioned the annulment constantly and I just walked in on her telling someone about what a huge mistake this has been.”

“Are those the words she used?  ‘Getting married to Jason was a mistake.’”  Roy asked slowly.

“Not those exact words…”

“So you don’t know if she was talking about the marriage or something else?” Roy interrupted before Jason could finish.

“Come on, what else could it have meant?” Jason asked exasperated.  

“Anything,” Roy was close to yelling from frustration.  He had worked too hard for them to throw this away now.  “Maybe she was talking about not telling her parents before the wedding and now she feels guilty for springing it on them.  Maybe it was leaving without warning Bruce.  Maybe it was missing a day of work.  Maybe it was wearing that dress today.  You don’t know.”

“She’s been pushing annulment all day.  And there’s nothing wrong with that dress on her at all.”  Jason answered quickly.

“Agreed but, she was pushing for the annulment before she knew you were Red Hood, when she thought she had married some random guy who looked vaguely like Red Hood because the real Hood wasn’t interested.” Roy took a deep breath.  He knew them.  He knew how they really felt about each other.  Anyone who had spent any time around the two of them knew.  But he couldn’t force them to stay in the relationship.  Brute force would just result in both of their stubborn asses digging their heels in and fighting harder.  

How would Alfred deal with this?  Alfred would be gentle, delicate, a guiding light.  He looked around trying to find the words.  Delicate wasn’t his forte.  He needed Jason to come to this conclusion on his own.  “Look Jay, you guys got gassed, lost all your inhibitions, and the first thing you guys decided to do wasn’t to have sex, which absolutely would have been my first move, it wasn’t even to make out, though you did do that, a lot, later, in front of everyone.  But your first instinct was to reveal yourselves to each other and get married.”  He paused for a moment to let that sink in.  “Your most basic, primal instinct, was to make a commitment to each other.  That has to mean something, right?  That doesn’t sound fake to me.”  He looked Jason in the eyes, “Just talk to her, okay? Don’t do something you’re going to regret because you’re stubborn and afraid.”

“I’m not…” Jason looked down and nodded.  He couldn’t even deny that what was driving him.  “I’ll talk to her, but you should probably get the jet ready.  And you might want to make room for me on the couch.”

 He took a deep, calming breath before he opened the room door.  He saw her immediately.  She was leaning on the balcony railing and looking at the ring on her finger with a sad smile.  The wind was gently blowing her hair around her face and making her dress flutter around her legs.  The sun was shining on her face making her look ethereal.  He lost his breath.  She was gorgeous.  He didn’t deserve her, he knew that.  She was smart and brave, bold and kind, creative and beautiful... and his wife. However he'd managed it, they were married and he'd be an idiot to throw that away.  And no matter what Damian thought, he was no idiot.

He approached her quietly, leaning against the railing next to her.  “Whatcha thinking about, Pix?”

She startled slightly and stuttered out “Oh… um… No… nothing… just never thought this is how I would end up married.  I never thought I’d come to Vegas at all, let alone get married here.”

“Me either,” he smiled gently at her.

“Oh no, I totally thought that’s the way you’d get married,” she laughed.

“Oi!” he squawked in fake offense, making her laugh even harder.  He quickly joined in her laughter.  The laughter settled after a few moments.  He stared at the fountain in front of the hotel in contemplation before deciding to take Roy’s advice and ask the question he needed to ask, well, the first of a few.  God he hoped this turned out better than how things usually turned out when he listened to Roy.

“What was the call you took earlier?” he asked hesitantly.

“What call?  The call when we got in the room?” she asked confused.  Why was that important now?  He nodded his heart beating wildly.  “It was my business manager.  I was supposed to put through a rush order to a fabric manufacturer this morning so we could get the fabric we need in time for a commission.  He was really upset with me,” she grimaced.  “But Adrien is kind of a drama queen so he’ll be fine as soon as I fix it. I promised I would take care of it as soon as I could and try to fix it so we don’t lose the commission.”

He let out a relieved breath.  It was work.  She had been talking about work, not their marriage.  She didn’t regret their marriage.  Or, maybe she did.  He needed to find out.  “Does that mean you never pictured yourself getting married to me?”

She sputtered out in response.  “What?”

“You said you didn’t picture yourself getting married in Vegas, but you did picture me doing it.  Does that mean you never pictured yourself marrying me?”

“Did you picture yourself marrying me?” She deflected hoping he wouldn’t notice the heavy blush on her cheeks.

He looked her in the eyes, sincerity shining through as he looked at her softly.  “Yes.”

Looked at him in surprise “What?”

“This isn’t how I pictured it, but I absolutely pictured myself marrying you one day.  I’d marry you anyway you let me, Marinette.  I love you.”

Tears started running down her cheeks. She felt Jason gently wipe them from her cheeks. “We can still get this annulled if you want, if you aren’t ready.  But know that I want to be married to you.  If you aren’t ready now, I can wait.  We can get the annulment and see what happens from there.  If you aren’t interested at all, and God I hope that isn’t the case, then never.  And we stay friends, if you want.  You control this.”

She looked at him in wonder.  “You want to stay married?”  She asked hesitantly, seeking confirmation.  This couldn’t be real.  This was too perfect.  This was everything she was hoping for, being married to Jason.  He nodded, smiling softly at her.  She smiled back at him, “I… I want to stay married.”

“Yeah?”  His gave her a blinding smile.

“Yeah.”  She beamed at him and cupped his face.  “I love you, Jason, so much.  You’re amazing.  I don’t think you really realize how amazing you are.  You have such a huge heart.  You’re funny and brave.  You make me feel understood, loved.  I don’t know that I deserve you, but I hope I can make you feel like you make me feel.”

“You deserve so much more than me, so much better than me,” he said quietly, looking at her lovingly and playing with her hair gently.  “I’m going to try to make you understand how incredible you truly are every single day.” He leaned down to kiss her.  Her eyes closed in anticipation.

She could feel his breath on her lips when Jason’s phone rang.  She giggled when he grunted at it before hitting the end call button.  He gave her an apologetic smile and brushed her bangs out of her face before leaning down again.  Before their lips could touch his phone rang again.  He groaned in frustration and hit end call again.  He started leaning down again when both his and her phones rang.  She giggled “I think you better answer that.  It’s probably Batman.  We don’t want him to send a rescue team.”

Jason grunted and aggressively hit the button to answer the call “Yeah, B I’m fine.  Yeah, she’s fine too.  No, I’m not coming home tonight.  Neither is Ladybug.  We’re on our honeymoon.”  He turned his phone off and threw it into the room.  Marinette smiled giddily at him.  He crashed his lips to hers before anything else could interrupt.  He pulled her closer and angled his head to deepen the kiss and add even more passion.  She wound her arms around his neck and pulled his hair to bring him closer to her.  He moaned into her lips and ran his hands along her sides until he reached her thighs and grabbed them to pick her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist.  They broke the kiss to take deep breaths, grinning happily before diving in for a searing kiss laced with all the want and pent up lust they’d been feeling for each other for the last year.  He stood up and walked her back into the bedroom, both of them removing clothing along the way and throwing it haphazardly, making the room look very much like it had the night before.

 Tags:

@fsketchart @jasonette-july-2k20

[tintinwrites]

i’d rather be lonely | Javier Peña x Reader | Part Nine

A/N: I’m guessing y’all enjoyed the previous part!

Rating: 18+

Warning: Oral (F receiving). Naughty words. Mentions of a scar.

Word count: 2,849, apparently!!

Summary: You and Javier talk about what the two of you are doing.

Masterlist

GIF credit: @damerondjarin​

Tags: @thedevilwearsvibranium​ @bisexual-space-slut​ @thirsty-flygirl​ @shadow-assassin-blix​ @damndamer0n​ @huliabitch​ @damerondjarin​ @perropascal​ @mylifeliterally​ @no-thanks-lol​ @dee-vn​ @jenniferdaniels12​ @cinewhore​ @lokiaddicted​ @justabeautiful-letdown​ @shakespeareanwannabe​ @lackofhonor​ @katialvi​ @fangirl-on-bitches​ @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass​@darkbluenovember 

                                         -------------------------

You woke up to lips pressing slowly down your side and you smiled, knowing full well who was in your bed and being happy about it.

You and Javier had so much to make up for that you invited him back to your place where you fumbled in the dark then laid there in a tangle of limbs where you fell asleep together.

It was the first time in a long time that he’d stayed when sleeping with somebody, but you were different.

His eyes were hooded with sleep and lust when you turned your head to look at him, immediately trailing down to your breasts the moment you moved from your stomach to lay on your side.

“Good morning,” you said pleasantly, perhaps you would’ve been uncharacteristically giddy if you weren’t thinking about how you were going to need to talk about why you’d slept with the man you supposedly hated.

“Morning.” He leaned in to kiss you and even with your worry, you couldn’t help but kiss him back because he was good at it.

When his lips trailed down your chin, along your jaw, down your neck, moving towards your chest, you reluctantly put a hand on his shoulder to push him back. He obeyed the command without hesitation, but there was something in his eyes; concern, maybe, that you hated him again and it was just some sex to put all that pent up emotion somewhere.

Fuck, why did that make his chest squeeze like that when he’d done this with so many women before?

“I’ve been...I know I’ve probably been really frustrating to you and I want to talk this out with you to see what...what are we doing?” You finally asked, sitting up and grabbing the sheet from your lap to cover the breasts he’d been sucking on at one point.

“I don’t know...every time I think we’re doing one thing, you turn it around on me.” He propped up on his elbows, not meeting your eyes because he knew this conversation was necessary, but it was still awkward and something he didn’t often do.

“That’s what I mean, and I think I owe you an explanation that...that...when…” You closed your eyes for a moment, then looked at him even if he wasn’t looking at you. “When I was...shot...I saw the side of you that I didn’t want to, I saw that you were caring and thoughtful, and I liked that. I started thinking about how much of a mistake it was to assume things about you, how it might be nice to try and be friends or more, and then I went to your apartment and…”

“Ah, fuck.” He ran his hand through his hair, sitting up a little bit more. “I was wondering if that’s what this was about, because you saw me with her and I showed myself to be the jackass you knew I was.”

“No, Javi...seeing you with a prostitute when we were growing closer hurt and I...instead of letting myself be hurt, I went back to hating you because it was easier.” You picked at the finely sewn threads of the sheet awkwardly.

“Oh.” Javier simply didn’t know what to say to this, though there was something about you being hurt by the idea of him being with someone else that made him almost happy in a stupid way, knowing he was right when you mentioned more with you and that you genuinely wanted him.

The two of you fell silent for a long moment before he asked you,

“So, you wanna go back to hating me?” It was partly a joke and partly a genuine question.

“No, I don’t, but...I know this is usually a one time thing for you, so if you want to pretend we never did anything, then that’s fine, and I promise to be civil to you because I understand sex doesn’t make you a bad person seeing as I—” Your eyes widened when he pressed his lips to yours, then you slowly let them flutter shut as you kissed him back.

He pulled away after a moment and just admired the passion you put into the kiss, how your lips were still slightly pursed as if waiting for more. “I’m not that much of an asshole and...fuck, I don’t know, I want more than one night with you.”

You looked at him with a dreamy look in your eyes like you’d longed for him, which a part of you did, and you reached up to run your thumb across his chin. “Be straight with me, Javi, and tell me what you want out of this.”

“Why don’t we just try this out and see where we end up?” He knew you were using his nickname a lot more and it sounded so natural, so beautiful. “If you hate me, then we can break things off, or maybe it’ll be something more. No pressure.”

“No pressure. That means if you realize it’s too much commitment, you can run away.” You smiled, though you honestly were a bit worried that he would be scared and decide to leave you and you might be in love with him at some point.

Could you fall in love with Javier?

That was an idea you would’ve laughed at until there were tears in your eyes not long ago, but now it seemed like you could.

Like you would.

You understood being afraid of relationships in this line of work and maybe you’d put those things off because of more than independence, but it would break your heart if he treated you the way he often treated other women, the very thing you’d hated him for without seeing the man beyond the womanizing.

You were afraid too, obviously, of being hurt, whether it was by abandonment or…

You tried not to think of how dangerous this could be even if DEA agents weren’t supposed to be touched. You’d been shot, for fuck’s sake, which could easily happen again or happen to Javier.

You were afraid of pain or being taken advantage of or being seen as an object or many other things for so long that you ignored so many advances and now you were opening yourself up to the very man you’d hated for making them, which was terrifying itself.

Javier noticed the look in your eyes, smirking slightly. “I know I said no pressure, I didn’t think you’d leave that quickly.”

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts of being afraid yet wanting this that it took you a moment before you realized he said something. “Huh? Oh...no, I, um...I was just thinking about how…”

“About how…?” He prompted, raising an eyebrow high.

“I thought it was better to be lonely and angry because I wouldn’t be hurt that way, to lash out because I didn’t want to be seen as just something to fuck or...something to leave. It was easy to hate you because I wouldn’t let you hurt me, but you still did because I wanted this and...and, I don’t know, I thought I was okay being alone because of my job, but…” You met his eyes. “I think I realized when I thought of more with you that I’d rather not be lonely, you know?”

He chuckled, understanding you even if he wasn’t going to admit it.

You weren’t even sure you made any sense with your emotions being terrified even though you wanted this, realizing how lonely you’d really been now that you’d let yourself want someone.

“No pressure,” you reminded him softly, then looked down. “Can we...keep this between us for now?”

“—sure.” His hesitation made you look up to quickly reassure him.

“I’m not ashamed of you, okay? I know you’re a good man, it’s just that I don’t really know if this is allowed, and we don’t even know what we are. I don’t wanna know what Steve will have to say about this. Fuck, or Alvarez.”

“Hey, it’s fine, you’re probably right that we should keep it a secret for right now.”

Both of you fell silent again because that was that; you wanted to try this out, no pressure, you’d figure it out along the way, and you would keep it a secret for now to avoid any unnecessary drama.

With that conversation out of the way, Javier was able to focus on the aspect of your relationship you’d indulged in.

“I think we can agree we’ll be having sex as we figure all this out, right?” His hand moved under the sheet, finding your bare hip.

“Uh, yes.” You couldn’t blame anyone who’d ever slept with Javier because he was as good as he made himself out to be.

“With all the shit we did last night, I don’t think we looked at each other.”

“—you’re right.”

Both of you definitely groped and fucked certain parts of each other, but you’d been mostly dressed at the office and you didn’t turn any lights on when you went back to your apartment.

“Show me.” He tugged on the sheet and you made a noise of protest, tightening your grip on it to hold it to your chest.

“No, you show me!” The idea of being naked in front of Javier Peña was nerve wracking because he’d been with so many people, and there was still some part of your brain that insisted you weren’t supposed to show yourself to this man even though you didn’t hate him and you’d let him inside you...and there was also this fear to show him that you weren’t...perfect.

He rolled his eyes and moved out of the bed with no shame whatsoever, standing there for you to see with his hands on his hips.

His shoulders were as broad out of his clothes as they were in them, yet the rest of him was fairly slim and you would guess fit since he ran so much. Your eyes were immediately drawn to the patch of hair between his legs that led to a part of him you knew was sizable when it was inside you, your eyes still widening at the sight anyway.

That look made his lips twitch into a lopsided smile, chuckling softly. “You know, you’re a lot more flattering when you don’t hate me.”

“Unfortunately you were sexy even when I thought I hated you,” you said without really thinking of your words, almost wistful as you let your eyes roam over him.

“Are you treating me like a sex object?” There was a joking lilt to his tone, mocking your behavior towards him lightheartedly since he understood you were just trying to remain professional in a job that worked against women when you’d railed into him.

“Yes.” It took you a moment to realize what you’d answered and you looked up at him for a moment in a way that made him think he might’ve just made you hate him again, but then you let out a laugh.

“Your turn.” He liked the sound of your laugh more than he wanted to admit, so he decided to change the subject with something he was happy to admit he liked.

You hesitated for all those aforementioned reasons, but it was only fair now that you’d seen him, so you slowly slid out from under the covers to stand on the other side of the bed.

His eyes went to your breasts and lingered for a long moment before moving down the rest of your body, lips parting at the sight of your pussy. It was fun to be inside it, obviously, but it was nice to see the place where he’d pounded into you.

Your hands were on your hips like his, but he noticed that one of your hands was over a little and he knew that was where you’d been shot.

He tried to meet your gaze only to find you were staring off to the side. He thought for a moment and then nodded towards you.

“Come here.” His words made you look at him and he stared hard, telling you he wasn’t kidding and you needed to listen to him.

It took a moment, but you slowly walked around the bed to stand in front of him, and he grabbed onto your wrist to gently pull your hand away from your hip.

You were definitely reluctant, staring down at the floor as he revealed the small scar on your hip that you were so unashamed of for some reason.

He could’ve told you that it was nothing, that you were sexy with or without it, that it would probably fade one day, but those types of things usually sounded like someone was just trying to be polite because they didn’t know what else to do.

So he looked at you until you met his eyes, then he moved to his knees and kept his gaze on yours as he pressed a slow, gentle kiss to the scar.

There were tears in your eyes and he wasn’t sure whether they were happy or not, hoping they were as you gently ran stroked over his hair.

His own hands slid up your thighs and moved to hold onto your hips, gently pushing you down to sit on the bed where he knelt between your legs.

“What are you doing?” Your legs opened wider almost of their own accord when he began pressing little kisses along your inner thighs.

He didn’t answer you, moving his hands down to lay them on the tops of your thighs, his thumbs going to your folds and pulling you open for a good look at your cunt. He let out a low groan at the sight of you, wasting no time in leaning in and pressing his face against you.

His tongue lapped and flicked at you, fast and firm, and you were crying out in mere moments from how good at this he was, knowing exactly where and how to touch you.

He would run his tongue up your slit then stop at your clit for a moment to suck on it, then go right back to licking at you, teasing you perfectly to turn you on that much faster.

Once he’d made you thoroughly wet and you were moaning out his name, he stopped teasing you and dipped his head down to shove his tongue into your entrance, fucking you with it as he nudged at your clit with his nose. It was amazing for those two areas of you to be stimulated at the same time and you tightened your grip on his hair, tugging hard.

“Fuck, Javi!” You couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to make you come even if this was the third time he’d be doing it, so close within a couple minutes when your other partners needed a lot of guidance.

Sometimes you had to do it yourself because they didn’t know what they were doing or didn’t care enough to try.

But not with Javier, who was thrusting his tongue into you with such precision that you were practically lifting up off the bed to press yourself to him.

It only turned you on more when you looked down to see him staring up at you darkly, obviously turned on himself based on the look in his eyes that basically told you how much he wanted to fuck you.

“I’m gonna come…” If anything, your words made him move his tongue faster inside you, one of his hands moving so he could rub his finger against your clit.

Your hips jerked and he groaned into you the moment your cunt clenched down on his tongue, continuing to lick into you as you came for him, lapping you up and letting you know how much he enjoyed the taste of you with little encouraging moans.

The way you jerked his head back when your orgasm faded and his touches were too much made his cock twitch, part of him liking that hint of dominance as he gazed up at you.

His lips and chin were shining from your wetness being all over him and you let go of him because the sight was turning you on all over again.

He smirked, leaning in to press a few more kisses to the scar on your hip.

“I think...I should probably return the favor.” Not only was being eaten out a rare occurrence for you, but he took the shame at your scar and made it go away so easily.

“Seriously?” He didn’t think you were the type, but he’d only really known you as a person who was seemingly always angry until recently and the look in your eyes told him you wanted to return the favor.

You nodded and he was on you, kissing you as you let out another beautiful laugh against his lips, pushing you down onto the bed.

Neither of you could believe you’d wasted so much time.

[heartmeadows]

So, uhh hi. I’m sorry about my last post. I do think I overshared, not by much but still by enough that I’ve felt ashamed ever since. And avoided posting anything else or responding to anyone. I’ve needed time to figure things out and I have actually finally overcome some big obstacles that have been in the way of my healing, recovery, whatever you wanna call it. I’m unfortunately gonna ramble so it’s gonna be under a read more

It’s taken over 6 months for me to even be able to truly feel and be present, and stop isolating myself, pushing people away, and avoiding facing my fears and troubles.... among other effects, symptoms, etc. of trauma. Trauma fucks you up. I think by now most people know that. But I’m ready to stop wallowing in self pity and hate, and letting my C-PTSD run the show. I can do better, I can be brave. I know I have more in me. It’s just that whenever I take steps back and/or I get hurt I need time to recover my strength to get back up and keep going on. With survival, recovery, all that. I do things my way no matter what. And it’s a mess most of the time. But there’s also the other side of it all. I don’t have a word for it. I suppose what I mean is that despite it all the pain me and the people I love, and even strangers and any of us, have experienced and keep experiencing there’s still hope. There’s hope, joy, light and beauty in life even during the darkest times. Sometimes the pain just blinds me too much. I could keep going on about... a lot. Pretty words. Wise words. Things I’ve learned and things I’m learning. But I have a tendency to write or talk too much, or not at all. I really find it hard to be in the middle, I always will be bipolar. Not in a quirky way, not in an ableist way some people tend to use words without understanding their meaning. I mean that I have bipolar disorder, among other issues or qualities. I guess I’m not exactly making sense fully or making any definitive point. But it’s not like I can currently can. I’m still figuring things out. I just mean that I’m me. I don’t know how to be anything else, nor do I want to ever pretend again to fit in. I learnt some dark but needed lessons the hard way. I won’t ever allow my loneliness to be a way for people to hurt me because in my desperation to feel like I belong I turn to the wrong people and trust the kind of people no one should. Anyway, I digress.  It’s one step and one day at a time. And it’s ok. And I’m ok. And I’m also not ok. I’m a lot of things. A collection of paradoxes. Always liked that sentence and still find it something I could pretty much get tattooed because I relate to it on a deep level no matter how pretentious it might sound to some people. But yeah, I’m rambling. It’s well past midnight, I just had a cigarette and a cup of coffee earlier in my garden in the lovely summer air. The nights are already getting darker but I enjoy that. I don’t mind that my sleeping schedule keeps changing constantly and that I am living both a life of night owl and an early bird. Guess I’m a versatile bird lmao. Honestly, I’m going through that whole “sudden” moment of clarity at the most inconvenient time ‘cause it’s not like I can get my shit together right now. I’ve just found the positivity and hope I’ve been searching for. I’ve found solutions to a lot of problems. It’s that same old “I know all the answers to the questions I’ve had lately” but not really that hyperbolic. I’m thankfully not manic. I know what I need to do in order to start getting better again. I also know that it’s gonna take a lot of courage to do most of the things that will help me get forward. It’s not gonna be easy. But it’s time to stop waiting for things to change without actually working to change things. I’m just... over the past. I’m ready to let go of the pain and of the person I was that I’ve been longing to be again, and also of the regret and shame of the person that I became at times that I never wanted to be. I thought that I had to cling onto the past in order not to lose myself after going through trauma that made me truly feel like I’d lost everything to the point I went too far and attempted suicide four fucking times. After years of not even so much as cutting myself. You know, not my first attempts but my worst ones because it’s a miracle after miracle surviving these overdoses. It’s hard to understand I guess. I really thought I’d lost everything. That they took everything from me. But I was wrong. I understand now that after everything I’ve finally come to a point where I can re-invent myself. To choose where I want my life to head towards and who I truly want to be. I’ve already come so far, for example I’ve finally overcome my addiction to hard drugs. And I never thought I could do that. But I kept trying. I kept going. I relapsed last year and that lead to all the misery that has followed me. But I got through it. I still have my other, physical addiction to meds that are for now the only way I can cope with my physical issues and also numb myself to a point. But I know I’ll find a way out of this one too. I won’t let anything or anyone destroy me anymore. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve learnt lessons the hard way. I’ve paid the price of asking too many questions in life and wanting to find the answers by being stupid, reckless, too trusting, too lonely, too self destructive. I guess I still have to figure out how to stop rambling too much, especially when I’m pretty sure without all the context a lot of this doesn’t make sense. So, I’ll just try my best to finish this post with saying that I’m ready to let go, move on and re-invent myself again. Like I said. But not fully, like I have done before. I’m not changing my name again (and people have stopped calling me by my deadname, if it’s ok to use that word to describe my birthname that isn’t my name at all, not in any way, and I changed it legally a long time ago too) or dying or cutting my hair, nah. I’m not fully happy with the surface level of my identity and life right now because I’ve gained weight, gotten more ill and started to age in a way I know is caused by being unhealthy (stupid to keep smoking still even after being in a coma and a breathing machine way too many times by now because of the overdoses)... It’s hard to make this short, sorry. What I mean is that I’m disappointed and hurt with where my choices and the consequences of not only my acts but others have lead me to. But it’s not over. Because I’m alive, I survived and I still have a chance to change things for the better. And to truly be myself and get back on track on my journey of self improvement and recovery, healing. It’s not too late like I thought. I can still be Lena and for that to mean that I can become someone I can truly be proud of. To be someone the people in my life can look up to. And to keep following the path I create for myself, to pursue my freedom and my passions. To let go of the self destruction. To walk the path of light and accept the dark but not let it control me. I can find balance, mentally, physically and spiritually. I can heal. Everything’s gonna be ok. So I’ll just stop here. I’m gonna go sim, to be honest, and I’ll hope to post sims stuff again soon enough. If anyone actually read this annoyingly long post I thank you for your patience and for listening to me, so to speak. It’s important for me to post this so that I can come back to this in those moments I feel low again. To have a reminder that will give me strength to keep going on.

[chizue-witchery]

Main masterlist || Prompt List || request here!

Also in AO3:

001. “You’re a disappointment to me.”

002. “I don’t care if you live or die.”

003. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”

004. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”

005. “Go. Just go.”

006. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”

007. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”

008. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”

09. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”

010. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”

011. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”

012. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”

013. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”

014. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”

015. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”

016. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”

017. “I don’t care.”

018. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”

019. “You’re such a piece of shit.”

020. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”

021. “You’re so stupid.”

022. “Why do I waste my time with you?”

023. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”

024. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”

025. “I deserve so much better.”

026. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”

027. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”

028. “I never want to see you again.”

029. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”

030. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”

031. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”

032. “I wish you were never born.”

033. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”

034. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”

035. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”

036. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”

037. “I don’t know what they see in you.”

038. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”

039. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”

040. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”

041. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”

042. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”

043. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”

044. “How can you even live with yourself?”

045. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”

046. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”

047. “You’re a monster.”

048. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”

049. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”

050. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”

051. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”

052. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”

053. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”

054. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”

055. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”

056. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”

057. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”

058. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”

059. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”

060. “Stop making me look bad.”

061. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”

062. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”

063. “Go play in traffic.”

064. “Fuck off.”

065. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”

066. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”

067. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

068. “It was all a lie.”

069. “I never loved you, and I never will.”

070. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”

071. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”

072. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”

073. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”

074. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”

075. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”

076. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”

077. “I wish you were dead.”

078. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”

079. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”

080. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”

081. “How could you? You bastard!”

082. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”

083. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”

084. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”

085. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”

086. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”

087. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”

088. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”

089. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”

090. “I can’t stand people like you.”

091. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”

092. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”

093. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”

094. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”

095. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”

096. “I’m disgusted by you.”

097. “Fuck you!”

098. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”

099. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”

100. “I hate you.”

[sumire-bride]

Sumire and shuu’s route (demo) maniac 4

((Please read the hashtags before proceeding))

Monologue

I’m not sure how to make friends.. actually..

I’ve never made one before.. I never needed too.. when he was my only one

I don’t think I want to anymore.. He was right.. I don’t need anyone else but him..

Because everyone else will hurt me..

I hate it here..

Scene is in the infirmary

Sumire- … (…I do not understand… I do not know what I did to make people so mad… I am so confused… father.. can you make me understand…?)

(…I forget your not here sometimes… so you can’t answer my questions…)

*sumire is bandaging her arm*

(…I was only trying to look for Shuu-sama to do to class…. I did not mean to upset anyone… I should say sorry when I see them again…)

*FLASH BACK*

Sumire- …oh… where could he be…? (…Shuu-sama must you try so hard to hide away… I need to bring you to class..) haah…

Female student- hey..! You! Your missing class you know! What are doing anyway?

Sumire- ..hm..? Oh..! (…It was that girl who called me… a whore…) hello.. I am sumire…

Female student- see what I told all of you.. she’s totally stupid

Sumire- …I did not hear the bell… so I did not realize class had started… forgive me… but I was just trying to look for shuu-sama… I will only be a few minutes…

Female student- you really don’t listen do you? I told you to back off did I not!?

Sumire- ..back off…? I am not sure what that phrase means… but I have been a good listener all my life….

Female student- apparently not.. your still hanging around Shuu.. I told you to leave him alone!

Sumire- …?…

But I live with Shuu-sama… and we go to the same classes… I have no choice but to interact with him… if there is something else I can do to make you happy and your other people… then please tell me…

2nd female student- she’s like a robot… it’s creepy..

Male student- at least a robot can talk without pausing every few seconds

Female student- well even so I told you before stop, as of recently I’ve noticed that you’ve been giving him that look

Sumire- …look..? I am confused… I do not remember giving him any type of look…

Female student- tch.. you look at him with such admiration and love it’s honestly disgusting if I have to say so myself.. you’ve started to fall in love with didn’t you?

Sumire- …love…? I am sorry but.. I do not understand… please tell how I can understand your words…

2nd female student- she’s totally a robot reminds me of Siri on my phone.. *the girls pulls out her phone* ne ne Siri do you want a friend? I’ve got one for you right here! *the girl pulls sumires arm closer to her*

Sumire- ah…!

Siri- I do not understand can you please repeat that

2nd female student- hahahaha..!! See what I mean there like twins!

Male student- pfft…

Come one say something back to your knew friend..!

Sumire- …friend…? I am not sure what a friend is… uhm… hello.. I am sumire…

Siri- hello sumire how can I help you?

Sumire- this strange object spoke back…! Woah.. so amazing…

The four students- pfft… ahahahahahahaha…!!!

This so funny.. I wish I got that on recording.. ahaha…!

2nd male student- come now your guys are so mean.. haha.. to a hopeless girl no less.. haah.. but.. She does smell nice don’t you think? Like sugar mixed with spice.. I like it

Male student- yeah I kinda like the smell.. say give us a taste won’t you? You won’t mind

Female student- I’m sure she wouldn’t, she does everything and anything anyone wants her to so I’m sure she’ll oblige

Male student- that seems fun.. say let us have some fun with you *he steps closer then grabs sumire*

Sumire- uh… please do not touch me… I am not comfortable with you touching me… please stop that…

2nd male student- were only trying to have some fun with you.. I don’t see the big deal with it.. now.. Er.. stay still and let us have a drink I don’t think I ate enough for lunch

Sumire- please unhand me… let go… (…I do not like this… I do not want anyone to drink me at all… unless it’s… shuu-sama…)

*they don’t stop the two girls hold her laughing*

Sumire- … (..too many people are close to my body… I.. I.. uu..) I said… let go…

Male student- haah..? What was that? I can’t hear you

Sumire- …let go.. let go… stop… let go…

Female student- come on speak louder for the boys, they said they hear you! *the girl grabs sumires face roughly*

Sumire- gr… (…ow… I.. do not understand… what did I do..?! What do I do…!?) I said… let go…!!!!

*sumire hits the two boys in front of her escaping the two girls hold*

Sumire- haah.. haah…

Male student- gah.. fucking bitch.. she scratched my face..

2nd male student- she scratched my chest..

Oh your in for it now you bitch..!

Female student- tch.. and I thought you were some tamed dog who would Neal before there masters! I guess I was wrong.. go ahead do whatever you want with the fucking whore! Geez she ruined nudged her elbow in my face..

Sumire- Er… forgive me.. I.. I did not mean.. (…I do not… what.. what did I do…?)

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

Sumire- …. I am so confused… I simply just wanted to find Shuu-sama… (..that’s kinda how I got here though… but even so… I am not very happy how Shuu-sama missed his classes…. But..) mm…

(…maybe I should… find them and ask them what I did wrong… I want to fix my mistakes…)

*the door opens*

Sumire- ah…!

Oh.. hello Shuu-sama… I do hope you are doing good… it was not be good if you weren’t…

Shuu- ah.. why is it whenever I think something is wrong it’s either you or something with my brothers..? Haah.. why do I always seem to bump into you?

Uh.. hey.. what the hell happened to you? You look like shit..

Sumire- uh.. oh..! This.. I seemed to have made someone mad by a mistake I made… I am trying to figure out what that mistake was… I can’t seem to figure it out… but… it resulted in this…

Shuu- oh.. well that’s what you get for acting so stupid.. you reek of weak vampires though.. it’s burning my nose..

Sumire- …I am sorry… I did not mean to burn you nose…

Shuu- .. whatever.. I just came in here to take a nap but since your hear and injured I’ll just help you I guess..

Sumire- … really…?! Oh.. thank you very much Shuu-sama… I fixed up most of them… so you could help with my cheek and knee.. and-

Ah..——!!

Shuu- what? What are you freaking out for? I said I’d help you didn’t I? Be grateful

Sumire- ..but.. you licked.. my wrist… I do not think that will help it… at all..

Shuu- it should help a bit.. vampires heal fast and our saliva helps our wounds heal fast so I’m honestly helping you..

We’re you thinking something lewd..?

Sumire- …I was not thinking anything lewd at all…! It just surprised me is all… (…I did not know that… what a cool fact… I’m learning things everyday.. fufu.. amazing..)

Shuu- your face says other wise

Sumire- …my face can not talk unless I am using my vocal chords and mouth… hmph…

Shuu- getting feisty I see, not that I entirely dislike it

*lickkk*

Sumire- ..mm… (…although… it does feel weird… it tickles a bit…)

Shuu- move you knee closer to me

Sumire- ..mm.. (…this is kinda of… I do not know how to explain it… but.. my heart is racing…)

*rustle rustle*

Sumire- there…

*lickkkk*

Sumire- …epp..! (..that feels so cold…)

Shuu- haah… heh.. what a cute expression your making, are you aroused?

Sumire- ..no not at all…! It just feels cold… nothing more…!

Shuu- sureee.. *he continues he goes higher*

Sumire- ah… h-hey… please do not go any higher then that..! It seems as though you are finished…! *she pulls her leg back*

Shuu- heeh look at that face.. it seems like you want me to do that again

Sumire- …I do not…

Shuu- lewd girl

Sumire- …mm…

Shuu- what I don’t get “I am not lewd I am sumire” thing you say? Heh.. what the hell has gotten into you

Sumire- ..uh.. (…I do not know.. but you have been making me feel very strange as of late… and your teasing seems to making it worse Shuu-sama…)

..it would not be like this if you would stop doing that thing… you do all the time to me…

Shuu- hmm..?

Sumire- …uh.. (..I did not mean to say such a thing… sumire.., get yourself together..)

Shuu- you know.. I’m starting to sorta like this bold side when you let it out.. it’s sorta less annoying to deal with haha..

Sumire- ..mm… forgive me…

Subaru- oi..

Sumire- …ah…! Oh… hello Subaru-sama…

Subaru- tch.. both of you hurry up in here.. reiji is all over my ass and we’re about to leave if you don’t hurry up

Shuu- wow.. following that stuck ups orders like a dog.. amazing..

Subaru- shut your ass up! Lazy ass..

Shuu- yeah yeah..

*subaru leaves*

Sumire- …already..! Goodness… I did not notice the time… (…I seemed to have gotten distracted…)

*scene is outside school*

Reiji- both of you! Missed class once again! Seriously how do you think this does to me when you- what on earth happened to you..?

Sumire- …hm..? Oh..! I made people mad today…!

Reiji- don’t say that like it’s a good thing.. haah…

Laito- ah..! Poor bitch-chans beautiful face is all scratched and bruised..!

Reiji- whatever the case.. get in the car.. geez you really are a hassle

*walk walk*

Sumire- … (..hmm… I guess I could say sorry tomorrow..! I can not find her and those others at all… so tomorrow…! For now.. I just need to focus on getting these healed by tomorrow at least…

Haah…

——to be continued——

Maniac 3– maniac 5