#honestly if anything it’s like. all 3 at different times. like each claims their Own Line(s)

[enderspawn]

idk which one of your blorbos this would be, but i feel like divine loser by clem turner could apply to a couple

LEGIT I have been trying to apply blorbos to this song for like Weeks now and none have fully stuck yet but— okay wait nvm post cancelled can we fucking talk abt this genius annotation

[infizero]

Why Ambrosius and Ballister’s Relationship Feels So Different in the Movie (Nimona)

As someone who read Nimona countless times growing up, I am very familiar with the story and these characters. Which is why when I watched the movie, I was struck by how different Ambrosius and Ballister felt. They seemed like totally different and unfamiliar characters to me, and it didn’t have anything to do with their designs.

After rereading the original Nimona graphic novel recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that the main reason they feel like completely different characters in the movie comes down to one thing: the removal of the joust.

When I watched the movie, I was surprised by the fact that they changed the circumstances that drove these two apart. But it didn’t hit me just how much this one event shapes both of their characters and their relationship to each other until I reread the book. 

The joust is CRUCIAL to their dynamic. It pervades every interaction they have with each other, they bring it up constantly, it is literally the crux of their collective storyline. We learn about it on PAGE 5 of the whole book, and their big heart-to-heart when Ballister is captured near the climax of the story is based around Ambrosius finally admitting the truth about what happened. Honestly I’d say that him finally coming to terms with what he did and apologizing for it is probably what allowed these two to finally find peace together by the end of the book.

We get something similar to it in the movie. Ambrosius still is responsible for Ballister losing his arm, but it is under WILDLY different circumstances. So I want to talk about how the joust affects them in the book, and then explain why the movie’s version of events, while similar on the surface, has a completely different effect on everything. So let’s get into it!

(All images of the book are via pictures of my own physical copy btw, so apologies if they’re not the best quality.)

(Also I want to make it clear that I don’t hate the movie nor its adaptation of these two. I do personally greatly prefer the book, but this post is not here to tear down the movie and exclaim that the book was way better. I just find it interesting how changing one event can have huge ripple effects!)

Part 1: The Graphic Novel (AKA: “My Boyfriend Shot Off My Arm Because of His Wild Ambition!”)

Like I said before, we learn about the joust very early on; Chapter 2, page 5. It is told to us first via Ballister’s perspective. Nimona asks if she can kill Ambrosius while they’re making evil plans, and Ballister says no -- if anyone is going to kill Ambrosius, it’s going to be him. We then get a flashback to the joust itself.

Ballister explains how they were friends and how the joust was the first time they had been pitted against each other. Ballister won fair and square, but in his words:

BALLISTER: “but Ambrosius hates to lose.”

BALLISTER: “He always claimed it was an accident. No one could prove otherwise.”

BALLISTER: “Turns out the Institution had no use for a one-armed hero. I took the only other viable option.”

Ambrosius used a weaponized lance and blasted Ballister’s arm off. After the incident, Ballister was rejected by the Institution, and became a villain instead of the hero he had originally set out to be.

In Chapter 3 we see Ambrosius appear for the first time, and he and Ballister have a very relaxed sort of cartoon hero-villain dynamic going on. There’s definitely real animosity between them, but they don’t hesitate to simply talk casually to each other or help each other when things go south. It’s all pretty lighthearted and lowkey. 

They fight briefly, but after Nimona triggers the building they’re in to self-destruct, Ambrosius doesn’t hesitate to help Ballister escape and Ballister doesn’t hesitate to accept his help. Ambrosius even tries to reassure him that Nimona will be fine. After they make it out, with Nimona presumed dead, Ambrosius puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him to go before more guards show up. They may be “arch-nemesises”, but they certainly don’t act like it.

AMBROSIUS: “Haven’t you missed our fights? We haven’t done this since you tried to clone the king’s daughter!”

BALLISTER: “Ambrosius, I really don’t have time for this.”

AMBROSIUS: “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

BALLISTER: “You’re an idiot.”

By the way, I’m not going to be doing a full breakdown of every single scene with them, don’t worry. I just think that their first interaction shows off their dynamic very well. This is presumably how they’ve been with each other since the incident, as it’s made clear both here and throughout the book that they’ve both been doing this for a while at this point. They have a very established dynamic, which is important as that is one of the big differences between the book and the movie. (I’ll get into that more later.)

Whenever these two interact throughout the book, it’s clear that they have very different opinions on the incident that drove them apart and how their relationship functions now.

Ambrosius tries to act like it was simply an accident and that it doesn’t matter. Ballister became a villain of his own volition, and now they are arch-nemesises who have to fight because that’s their job -- though he doesn’t exactly act like he hates Ballister. 

Meanwhile Ballister saw it as a deep betrayal, and while he definitely still cares deeply about Ambrosius, he cannot get over the incident as easily as Ambrosius can.

Their respective feelings about what happened are shown perfectly in the scene in Chapter 7 where Ambrosius invites Ballister to meet with him in secret. Ambrosius tells him that the Institution has ordered him to kill Nimona and begs him to send her away, both so he doesn’t have to kill her and so things can go back to “normal.” Ballister then says that Ambrosius gave up normal at the joust.

AMBROSIUS: “I can’t believe you’re still hung up about that. It was a long time ago, you know.”

AMBROSIUS: “Besides, it was an ACCIDENT.”

BALLISTER: “I bet you’ve said that so many times you’ve started to actually believe it.”

Ambrosius insists it was an accident, and Ballister claims that he blasted off his arm because he couldn’t stand that Ballister was better than him. This sets Ambrosius off and they begin to argue.

AMBROSIUS: “You can’t blame me for how your life turned out! You made the choice to turn evil!”

BALLISTER: “Choice? I never had a choice! The Institution needed a villain. That lot fell to me. I never chose it.”

BALLISTER “And it could just as easily have been you, had that “accident” happened differently!”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh please! Do you really believe that?”

AMBROSIUS: “You never had it in you to be a hero! Everyone always knew that you were going to be the one to go bad!”

Ambrosius has convinced himself that Ballister chose to become evil, and that he isn’t responsible for what happened because it was an accident. We later learn that it wasn’t an accident though, which means that this really is him just making excuses so he doesn’t have to accept responsibility.

Ballister brings up the idea of Ambrosius becoming like him again after they fight, in one of if not my favorite scene between them in the whole book:

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Ballister and Ambrosius are both very complicated individuals, and I think they lose a lot of their moral grayness in the movie. (Which I will get to later.) 

Ambrosius is the “hero”, but it was his ambition that drove him to blast Ballister’s arm off, and he’s never accepted responsibility for it, instead trying to convince himself that Ballister turned out this way because of his own actions. But he doesn’t disagree here that the Institution would throw him out if he were to lose his own arm, which I think is very telling. He knows deep down that he is not a good person, and he is not working for good people. But he doesn’t want to admit it.

Ballister is the “villain”, but in many ways he is better than Ambrosius. He abides by his own rules of never killing unless it’s necessary, and goes out of his way throughout the book to make sure that as few people are harmed as possible. He knows that the Institution is corrupt, because he was one of the people it failed. And he works to try and bring it down. 

Ambrosius cannot accept what happened, and because of that they aren’t able to get anywhere. They both know it wasn’t an accident. But because Ambrosius cannot admit it, they are stuck like this.

It’s a fascinating part of Ambrosius’ character that though he is adamant about Ballister being the one to destroy himself, he still cares about him. Much more openly than Ballister does in return, in fact. Ambrosius consistently does whatever he can to avoid having to kill him and always seems to have his wellbeing in mind. While he initially refused to kill Nimona, revolted at the idea that he should be ordered to kill “a little girl”, he eventually agrees to do so, but only under the condition that Ballister would be spared.

THE DIRECTOR: “Your motivations are quite transparent. I KNOW what the nature of your relationship was. I made it clear at the time that I disapproved. If your fixation on him has impeded your ability to do your job, then he truly has outlived his usefulness.”

THE DIRECTOR: “We’ll find you a new nemesis. Perhaps you will be more competent without Blackheart as a distraction.”

AMBROSIUS: “I won’t kill him. If you demand I kill the girl, I’ll do it - but I won’t kill him.”

Despite him and Ballister’s separation being his fault, he is the one who wishes most for things to go back to the way they were.  And this is likely why he refuses to accept responsibility about the joust. If it were truly an accident, then there shouldn’t be anything preventing them from continuing to be together. By painting it as an accident, Ballister becomes the villain for refusing to move on and let things go back to the way they were, not Ambrosius.

But finally, after Nimona disappears and Ballister lets himself be captured, we get probably the most important scene between these two. Ambrosius has been demoted due to his failure to kill Nimona, and is now forced to guard Ballister’s cell. Ambrosius is at his lowest that he’s been throughout the story, disgraced and discarded by the Institution who he had always been so loyal to.

It’s notable that Ambrosius says here that they both know Ballister is not evil, since he has been paddling that idea this whole time that Ballister made the choice to turn evil. By admitting that he is not, it shows that he is both starting to turn against the Institution, and starting to be more honest about what really happened.

Naturally, after Ambrosius wonders how things ended up like this and reminisces on when they were together, Ballister once again brings up the joust. And finally...

AMBROSIUS: “I- I never wanted to hurt you. I- I didn’t- It was-”

BALLISTER: “Don’t you dare try to tell me again that it was an accident.”

AMBROSIUS: “It wasn’t.”

...he admits the truth.

Ambrosius shares his side of the story, letting both us and Ballister in on what really happened that day. It wasn’t fully his fault -- the Director had called him into her office the night before the joust and told him that he had promise, that he was her choice out of the two, but that he had to prove himself against Ballister or that opportunity would go away.

On the day of the joust, Ambrosius received a weaponized lance instead of his regular one, which he instantly noticed. He asked what the Director expected him to do with it, and was told that she expected him to win.

To Ambrosius’ credit, he had no intention of using it, as he was confident that he would win. But the weight from the weaponized lance threw his balance off, and he ending up losing. And so...

AMBROSIUS: “I wanted it, more than anything. You never wanted it as much as me. You were just BETTER, without hardly even seeming to try.”

AMBROSIUS: “I don’t even remember- but I must have-”

[...]

AMBROSIUS: “I’m sorry, Ballister. I’m so sorry.”

To be fair, Ambrosius is not entirely to blame here. I doubt he would’ve come up with this idea on his own; he only acted on it because the Director had already given him the weaponized lance, and stressed the night before that the opportunities she dangled in front of him would not be given to him if he did not win. He was manipulated.

But he still made the decision to do it. He could’ve simply not used the lance. But he chose to. It is his fault.

It’s fascinating that the version of events Ambrosius had been swearing by this entire time is the exact opposite of what really happened. He claimed that it was an accident, he didn’t choose to do it, he had no choice, and that it was Ballister’s choice to become evil that caused all of this. But in reality, Ambrosius was the only one who got a choice here. And that choice is why their relationship was destroyed.

Ballister then brings attention to something even more damning:

BALLISTER: “You’ve never said it before.”

AMBROSIUS: “What?”

BALLISTER: “You never said you were sorry.”

AMBROSIUS: “I- didn’t?”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh god.”

I feel like you could interpret this in a lot of different ways, but the way I see it, they probably didn’t see each other much right after the incident. Ambrosius was catapulted into stardom as the kingdom’s beloved knight, and Ballister became a villain. I don’t think they really interacted much until their hero-villain antics started up, so I don’t think Ambrosius really had a chance to apologize. And if he did, he didn’t think to. Regardless of why, I do think it is messed up that he never apologized, and it goes to show just how much this event destroyed the bond they used to have.

From here, there’s not too much, as Plot Stuff starts getting serious around this point. Ambrosius ends up betraying the Institution after they continuously attack Ballister to provoke Nimona, attacking the guards who are holding him. This is when Ambrosius finally chooses Ballister over the Institution, which is great for his character, but there’s not really much more than that to say about it.

He and Ballister plan together to try and save the kingdom, with Ambrosius being adamant that they have to kill Nimona while Ballister refuses to. It’s during this conversation that Ambrosius mentions that he “never did anything good [his] whole life”, which is really sad but also kind of accurate, and it goes to show how he’s finally accepted responsibility for everything he’s done and had a part in up to this point.

Eventually Ballister is able to find a way to nerf her and they split up, with Ambrosius wanting to tell him something in case they don’t see each other again, but Ballister shuts him down.

BALLISTER: “We can’t do this now. Just... just promise me you won’t get yourself killed.”

It’s easy to assume this was something romantic and it likely was, but I imagine Ambrosius could’ve also wanted to say sorry again for everything. Perhaps it would’ve been a mix of both.

Regardless, they split up and climax stuff happens: Ambrosius attempts to kill Nimona but gets seriously injured, Ballister tries to reason with Nimona, etc. etc. Eventually at the very end, we see that these two have made peace and are together again, living on after everything. And that’s these two in the book!

Whew. I know that was a lot, but don’t worry. I won’t be going into as much detail about the movie’s version of events, as Ambrosius and Ballister have a much more cut-and-dry dynamic there than in the book. Their relationship in the original is very complex, so I wanted to make sure I covered all of those little nuances.

The joust is what defines their relationship and a lot of their respective characters; it is unimaginably important. Ballister became a villain because he lost his arm and was cast aside by the Institution. Ambrosius became the kingdom’s hero because he took Ballister out of the picture. They are unable to be around each other normally for very long because of their divided views of what happened. It is only after Ambrosius finally faces the truth that they are able to find peace together once more.

All of this is to say that it’s extremely hard to imagine what their relationship would be like in the graphic novel had the joust not happened the way it did. Which brings us to...

Part 2: The Movie (AKA: “My Boyfriend Sliced Off My Arm Because I Literally Killed Someone!”)

Before we start, I want to again stress that I am not trying to argue that any changes made here are inherently inferior. I am merely pointing out the differences between the book and the movie that contribute to the overall dissonance I and many others have felt when it comes to these two across versions.

Right off the bat, we are greeted with the movie’s version of Ambrosius and Ballister’s backstory. Like was implied in the book, they appear to be together (or something along those lines) which is great to actually see. But it quickly becomes clear that the events here are far different.

Instead of a joust, it is a knighting ceremony. There is no competition between Ballister and Ambrosius here. Ambrosius is knighted and cheered for, and then it is Ballister’s turn. He is knighted and everyone is silent before breaking into cheers as well. And then...

...his sword suddenly turns into a cannon and kills the queen. And in retaliation...

...Ambrosius chops his arm off.

Now if you’ve listened to ANYTHING I’ve said so far, this should immediately set off alarm bells. Because this one little difference changes everything about these two’s dynamic.

In the book, Ambrosius shot off Ballister’s arm in order to win his position. It was an entirely selfish and evil action spurred on only by his uncontrollable want to be the winner.

But here, Ambrosius is debatably justified in his response. Sure, he didn’t have to be as drastic as slicing his whole arm off (and I know there’s symbolism there with how the kingdom has taught people to get rid of problems), but Ballister -- to him -- literally just shot the queen. The queen who Ambrosius has sworn to protect. It is completely reasonable for him to respond in this way. And that’s a huge difference.

By changing this, we already have a completely different situation. Ambrosius here didn’t particularly want to cut Ballister’s arm off, it was a reflex, a response to a sudden danger. (Not saying he wanted to in the book, but there he made the deliberate decision to do so. In the movie it seems much more like an actual accident -- an overreaction that he immediately regrets and, as we’ll see, continues to regret.) And there was justification for it. There was no justification for it in the book. 

Instead of an Ambrosius whose ambition caused him to commit an evil act of betrayal against the man he was closest to, we now have an Ambrosius who, in the heat of the moment, overreacted like he was trained to after Ballister seemingly betrayed him. We’ll see over the course of the movie how this affects things, but that’s not the only major change here.

As we figure out shortly afterward, the movie makes a huge change when it comes to how the story functions, and that’s the timeline of events. In the book, the joust and the subsequent fallout between Ballister and Ambrosius happened years ago. We don’t know how long, but it’s clearly been a while. Enough time has passed where they are fully settled into their roles as hero and villain, and they look significantly younger in the flashbacks as well.

Like previously stated, book Ballister has been a villain for a while. He is completely settled into this role and has been making schemes and having fights of the week with Ambrosius for a considerable time. He knows what he’s doing. He has his own way of doing things, and when Nimona inserts herself into his life much of their early dynamic is him teaching her how he does things. In the book, Ballister is the teacher, Nimona is the student.

But in the movie, this incident just happened. It's unclear how exactly long it's been, but judging from Ballister's arm being created and his wounds healing it's probably been around a month.

Regardless of exactly how long it's been, the point is that these events are still very fresh. Ballister seemingly has just been laying low, not villain-ing it up, and he and Ambrosius haven't seen each other since the knighting ceremony. This changes literally everything about Ballister’s character. This post is specifically about Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic and not a Ballister character analysis so I’ll try to keep it brief, but movie Ballister seriously could not be more different from the book.

Compare this to movie Ballister, who I’m pretty sure never knows what he’s doing ever, at any point. He was training to be a knight. He has seemingly never once questioned the Institution. Now he has suddenly lost his arm and been thrust out into the unknown of being treated as a villain, and he has no idea how to handle it. Then Nimona shows up, tells him “hey, the Institution sucks”, and eventually he ends up believing so as well. In the movie, Nimona is the teacher, Ballister is the student.

Book Ballister actively resents the Institution and has no doubts that what they did to him is wrong. He has been plotting their downfall for a while. Nimona, on the other hand, seems to be out of the loop when it comes to the Institution and seemingly only starts hating them after she finds out how they threw Ballister out. Again, I’d just like to stress how completely and totally opposite their dynamic in the movie is compared to this.

There’s also Ballister being a scientist and being much more jaded in the book, but that’s not really important for the purposes of this post. So alas, I shall move on.

This different timeframe greatly impacts Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic, and obviously it would. There is a huge difference between a falling-out that happened years ago and you’re both still bitter about, and a falling-out that happened very recently. This, along with the different course of events resulting in said falling-out, is what causes their dynamic to feel so alien.

Also while talking about their early interactions in the movie, I’d just like to point out that while here Nimona is the one to assume Ambrosius is Ballister’s arch-nemesis and call him such, which Ballister doesn’t agree with, they were actually arch-nemeses in the book. Just something I noticed.

Something else I find interesting is later on, Ballister seems to be almost in disbelief about Ambrosius cutting off his arm and makes excuses for him.

BALLISTER: “He didn’t cut off my arm. He disarmed a weapon.”

BALLISTER: “It’s how we were trained.”

(Side note, but I wonder if book Ballister ever felt this way right after the joust? Did he try to convince himself it was an accident too, once upon a time? Did he try to make excuses?)

And to be fair, he is sort of right. Like I said before, Ambrosius’ reaction to Ballister seemingly killing the queen was debatably justified. While we’re obviously supposed to side with Nimona here and agree that Ballister should be more upset at Ambrosius for what he did, the movie definitely paints Ambrosius as more sympathetic overall. We see him freaking out internally about cutting off Ballister’s arm, and there is a lot of emphasis placed on how he and the others were trained by the Institution, inviting the audience to place more of the blame on the system that taught Ambrosius to act this way rather than him as a person.

And again, I’m not saying this is a bad thing! I love a good "taking down a corrupt system” story, and with the different circumstances of the movie it definitely makes more sense to play it this way. But in comparison to the book, Ambrosius is much easier to sympathize with. His character is changed from a very morally gray person who did something horrible and won’t admit it, to a pretty okay person who did something horrible and wholly accepts and bemoans that fact. He’s almost the opposite of what he was in the book.

So we have an Ambrosius who accepts what he did to Ballister and feels awful about it, and a Ballister who has no idea what he’s doing and is basically just being dragged around by Nimona. With both of them being basically the complete opposite of how they were in the book, is it any wonder that their relationship with each other feels so different when they themselves are so different?

Also, once again, the circumstances are very different. There is no Queen murder plot in the book, nor is their any attempt to clear Ballister’s name. A significantly different setting makes a difference too.

I don’t see a need to go into further detail about specific scenes in the movie as I think I’ve made my point clear. But going back to the movie’s lack of Ambrosius and Ballister’s already established hero-villain dynamic, I think these differences are made quite apparent just contrasting how they talk to each other. I mean, just compare these two scenes:

AMBROSIUS: “What? You’re gonna kill me now too?”

BALLISTER: “You believe that?”

BALLISTER: “Then you never knew me at all.”

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Their relationship in the movie is much softer and healthier than it was in the book. Their dialogue in the movie tends to lean much more towards tried-and-true “friendship betrayal” stuff; the wound of Ballister’s “betrayal” may be fresher, but it’s clear both of them love each other far more than they resent each other. In the book, it is the opposite. The movie could NEVER have the bar fight scene. It’s too ugly and bitter to fit these softer versions of Ambrosius and Ballister.

Part 3: Conclusion

So, that was a lot. I hope it’s a little clearer now how big the differences are between these two’s dynamic in the book and the movie! Especially if you’re someone who is only familiar with one or the other. While I prefer the book due to me tending to prefer more complex and messy relationship dynamics, I totally understand the appeal of the more loving and healthy relationship Ambrosius and Ballister have in the movie.

To summarize, here are some of the main takeaways:

Ambrosius causing Ballister to lose his arm is completely unjustified in the book and happens due to Ambrosius’ wild ambition, while in the movie it is a debatably justified reflexive action in response to an active threat.

Ambrosius overall is portrayed as much more sympathetic in the movie, with the system itself being more to blame for what happened.

In the book, the main thing keeping them apart was Ambrosius’ refusal to take responsibility and admit what he did. In the movie, it’s a misunderstanding about Ballister seemingly turning evil.

In the book, Ambrosius and Ballister have a very established hero-villain dynamic with the joust having happened years ago. In the movie the “betrayal” is still very fresh, which leads to very different interactions between the two.

And that’s about it! Thank you for reading this very long post. And if you haven’t read the original graphic novel or watched the movie, go do that!!! Much love to ND Stevenson and the rest of the people who made this story come to life.

Let me know your thoughts in the tags or the replies! Which version do you prefer? Are there any other factors you feel have a significant role in why their relationship feels so different? Or do you think I’m totally wrong about this and they feel basically the same to you?

Either way, thanks again for reading and goodbye!

[em0puppy]

i really don't normally do these things but i've been starting to feel just a teensy bit guilty about not being the sappy type lol and i got this urge at 1 am this morning while in a coffee-driven all-nighter and decided fuck it (this is a repeating factor in decisions i make. send help.)

so here's a small lil list of amazing people i'm genuinely overjoyed to be friends or even just moots with <3

yes im copying brookie bite me /silly

stuff under cut cuz this is gonna be long lol

@mischiefburns - my darling husband first of course !! <3 half joking marriage aside i'd say you're one of my closest friends - even if we've only known each other for just a few months. you're just the right amount of gentle and still know when to put your foot (er, claw-bug-thing) down, and i admire that about you. you know when to stop when boundaries are set up and to not push those, and you're not afraid to enforce your own, something i constantly fail to do (• ▽ •;) i love how open you are about yourself and how caring you care <3 ilysm !! mmmmwah :3 (im trying to get better at regretevator i promise)

@bluginkgo - first things first if you disagree with anything here i will punt you. (/silly /hj) you're so endearing, and your little emoticons never fail to make me smile. the message you sent me the other week really helped a lot, and your reaction spamming when i post art really does help with my motivation !! you're one of the most wholesome people i've ever met, and when your discord pfp changes to your sona with a bandaged leg i get worried for you. i love seeing your discussions in the nuzi server or your art popping up on my dash because HOLY SHIT YOU'RE GIFTED I TELL YOU !!!! like your nuzi fankid exploded my final 0.3 braincells i have left in the absolute best way but i'll save that speech for another time <3

@noridoorman - HIIIII MOM >:3 (i hope this tag is ok!! lmk if it's not <3) you're literally the second person i thought of when writing the idea down for this fhsfeesfigr. i love hanging out with you in VC and watching your stream or you drawing or listening to you and doomed voice ace attorney and you threatening to throw certain people (brookie and blu specifically) out windows or grab them by the scruff is literally the highlight of my day and never fails to make me laugh. you're so kind and funny and i'm sorry i can't share your love of k-pop 😔 (/silly) TRYING TO CATCH UP ON CINNAMON SCENT TOO BUT THE ADHD IS LIKE NUH UH </33

@brookiedaaroacecookie - im claiming you and miko as my siblings we can be triplets (/hj /nf) BUT SERIOUSLY THO i view you as my younger sibling and i love hanging out with you <3 you officiating mischief and mine's (GRR OFC IT WAS REAL /silly) wedding will forever be a memory i'll keep and tell to my grandkids in sixty something years or something like that idfk. i still have your little tag thing screenshotted and i'm sorry i can't tell the difference between french toast and grilled cheese </3 (/silly) also whats keats and why do you always laugh at it or was that an autocorrect thing /silly but also /gq

@spinnydraws - DFUHERFGRGIE I KNOW WE'VE ONLY BEEN MOOTS FOR LIKE. A WEEK AND A HALF OR SOMETHING IDK. BUT. HEAR ME OUT. already i view you as a friend and i'm extremely grateful to be moots with you! you're extremely funny and kind, and when you like or reblog my art i ascend to heaven. everytime i see your art i explode all over again even if i've already exploded not five minutes ago. AND WHY ARE YOU LITERALLY SO N. LITERALLY. WAHT. (/vpos) BUT LIKE. honestly you're a big comfort of mine already (i have a problem of wanting to be besties with literally every n kinnie out there. uzi kintype noises.) and i'd love to get to know you more !! <3

@nuzilicious - i refuse to give up trying to make you undislike me. until then all u get is ur awesome and im extremely thankful u havent blocked and banned me!!!!!! /silly /j

@uzibrainrot - omg what do i even say. you're so wholesome and so goofy and i loved roleplaying md with you on roblox even if it was just for a bit and if you wanna do it again sometime i'd absolutely love to!!!! i know we don't interact much but when we do it's awesome !! i promise the art trade is almost done i promise promise promise shhdshjdshfh. ALSO WHEN YOU WANNA WORK ON THAT VOLL CRACKFIC TOGETHER LMK!!! :DDD!!

i would @ andy but idk his tumblr so um. andy if you see this, you're not only one of the kindest most woke and most funny beings on this planet (i've never seen a cishet guy do a colon three it's literally so funny HELP /lhj /gen), but also a mind-blowingly awesome mc player !! :DD

ok i must disappear into the void to take care of my cramps (ew) so im gonna die now but ily all sm and hope you're all doing MORE than great !!! :DD!!!!! (/p /gen) explodes and dies in the grand canyon. or something. idk i need to stop exploding.

[maidragoste]

hello, its your newest nuisance writing to you, but this time...

SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET, DO NOT READDDDD!! I IMPLORE YOU, DO NOT READ!!

....

ok, now that those cautions were taken I hope your day has been well and when you do watch the episode, I hope you I was gonna say find joy, but each episode I become crazier than the last and each episode is either 1/4 good or 3/4 bad.

like Aemond is becoming worse and worse before my eyes, Alicent doesn't even want to go back and is on a religious retreat like some sort of "find myself and meditate" regimen. Rhaenyra is hosting a game show called: "Welcome to the dragon games!! let us see who can claim a dragon and survive!!" Ooooooo!! And she's not even giving a waiver, smh. Like they were told nothing except that they'd possible claim a dragon, like if I left my job/life to die, don't you think I should get a notice?? Also, Ulf is the man he said he was lol.

Jace being man low borns can claim dragons is funny because they have about as much parentage as him lol. They're all bastards like himself, the only difference is those bastards parents didn't have the means to keep them like Rhaenyra did and on most occasions the parents didn't want them so Jace best count his blessings that his mom didn't leave him to the streets and that his grandfather was willing to turn many blind eyes because not everyone had that (Saera we're looking at you sis, because I know you have a multitude of babies running around).

Also, this dragon testing is like in Grey's Anatomy when Meredith and Derek were testing out cure's for tumors like it reminded me of that because in the beginning they had bad results and in the end, they did it and "weeeee, happy ending for alllllll!!" well....except those that died.... Maybe Rhaenyra watches Grey's when she's not kissing everyone on sight??

This episode wasn't bad, but like again, I think it's the writing like whomever is in the writing room needs to stop with the fillers because season 2 was clearly a filler to season 3 where the real events begin, like I get wanting a show to have many seasons, but it should have many seasons if there's cause for it. And I know that Fire and Ice is an unreliable narrator to the plot events so anything could be hypothetically cannon, but like, do we not take ideas from hypotheticals and fill in the gaps? This show is like watching one's own head cannon of events like if that's the case, let me have my turn to write up what's gonna happen next.

But, who am I lol, I'm not a film writer. Welp, thank you again for listening to my rant and you have yourself a marry day.

hey bestie i love reading your opinions of the show episodes. sorry for taking so long to reply i was busy

honestly as an aemond girl and an alicent girl it's painful to watch this season for me 😭😭

you are so right about the Rhaenyra thing. not only did she not give them any direction but she also wouldn't let them leave which is an idiotic move because she was supposed to be looking for a rider for silverwing too ☠️☠️

About Jacaerys in my opinion he is right to be angry and i understand his point of view. i really liked the scene of him facing Rhaenyra. But I admit that at the same time I have mixed feelings because in the book he is the one who comes up with the idea of the dragon seeds

I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy so I don't know what you're talking about lol

The episode was good but I feel like this was a season of transition and as you say instead of following any of the hypotheses of the book the writers are doing what they want 😭😭

I hope you're okay anon, thanks for writing to me 🥰💖

[bluesworldd]

𐀶 ՙ 🎸 · HOBIE BROWN ➤ as your partner

cw/tw: mentions of intoxication (no description)

genre: fluff

blue says: i want it to be known that i will probably use these hcs for fics unless its a specific fic ofc. also these are a bit inspired by other hcs. enjoy.

spoilers ahead !

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

- so to begin i like to think you and hobie have been close friends for a while..hobies definitely the type to date his friends that he’s known since forever since he already has an existing relationship with that person he finds it easier to fall into a romantic relationship that way.

- it was definitely a slow burn tho and you fell first but he fell harder….like really hard

- you too have been through thick and thin together and shaped each other. that’s something he really appreciates about your relationship with him.

- to say the least you guys have known each for years and thats something he couldn’t appreciate more

- some of the qualities he looks for in a partner is the ability to trust and be vulnerable, for both him and his partner. like i think hobie is the type to read people so easily. i feel like he can tell when someone is lying to him or something like that yk?

- anyways yeah he absolutely love that about you, especially since you two don’t agree on everything he likes how open-minded you are

- now physically hobie doesn’t have anything specific he’s looking for

- personal hc of mine: he’s into sista’s sorry not sorry.

- outside of that tho he doesn’t care

- cuz fawk beauty standers

- different aesthetic? well he literally doesn’t care, in fact he loves it since it allows him to explore different aesthetics outside of his own

- but either way i dont think hobie would be the type to “believe” in aesthetics. like hobie just wears clothes that he likes thats it. thats all.

- when it comes to showing his affection he’s definitely into physical touch and quality time

- nothing makes him more weak in knees than cuddling while watching a movie together or doing some silly activities together or just chilling tbh

- like dont even get him started fr

- being spiderman really made him realize how much he missed his “old life” if that makes sense. like hobie is always happy when he can make a change or save someone but he misses you all the time

- his loneliness is washed away when he comes to his flat and sees u<3

- and its even better when he’s been out for a long time..

- honestly he loves a lot of things about u but nothing can compare to the big smile u get when he walks through the door

- like u don’t understand what u do to him..

- now when it comes to public affection hes not afraid or ashamed of showing his love for u

- sometimes if he’s feeling clingy (or he’s completely hammered) he’ll do it on purpose or be so extra when he’s kissing u

- ou when he’s intoxicated he’s all over u not in a sexual way but the cuddle bug in him JUMPS out…

- anyways this isn’t to say he’s possessive! no not at all.

- now is he clingy…? well yes!

- overall hobie loves u and wants to be near u 25/8

- like bruh

- hobie has this almost overwhelming respect and love for you that he doesn’t believe you could begin to understand..

- out of all the many dimensions and people he has met, nobody could be you.

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

©️bluesworldd 2023 || All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, copy, or claim my work as your own.

[39oa]

nhl x f1 fandom survey results

hello there! about two months ago, @andreisvechnikov and i posted a form meant to gather data from fans on tumblr of both f1 and the nhl so we could take a look at demographics, trends, and then subsequently share interesting corresponding insights.

in total, our form received n = 102 responses — honestly not that great of a sample size for stratifying data by teams when considering that there are 32 nhl teams and 10 f1 teams, so a lot of findings come with a large caveat, but hopefully this post will be interesting to you anyway! (of note is also that all of this data was collected before the nhl regular season began, so hopefully we can rerun this experiment sometime next year when the seasons are running concurrently and see how results have changed then.)

unrelated to our survey, @sergeifyodorov also polled hockey fans on their favorite teams a while back; his results will be referenced as well throughout this post! he was extremely kind and generous enough to send over his data so that we could play around with it on our own, so thank you again for that!!! one last time, please note that our results are not easily comparable because of different sample sizes and team/blog reach (for example: the leafs were heavily underrepresented in our data, but i'm pretty sure it's because the form simply never made its way to that corner of hockeyblr and not because leafs fans are statistically less likely to enjoy f1 LOL...)

without further ado:

DEMOGRAPHICS

"Where do you currently live?" + "How old are you?"

out of 102 participants, an overwhelming amount — 85.3% — live in north/central america or europe, and most respondents were also between the ages of 18-25. since the nhl is based in north america and f1 teams are (mostly) based in europe, i was curious to see how fandom trends varied across these two demographics specifically.

EUROPE VS. AMERICA

"Do you consider yourself more of an F1 or hockey fan?"

interestingly enough, 2 in 3 of the european respondents said that they like or follow hockey more, with only 15.15% preferring f1. asian and north/central american fans were a little more evenly split, with 38.9% north/central american fans saying they liked f1 and hockey about the same. however, altogether 89.2% of global respondents said that they prefer hockey OR that they like both sports about the same, so it seems that fans in our survey skew more toward hockey in general.

"Do you follow any top-division hockey leagues outside of North America?"

again, since f1 is primarily based in europe and since europe boasts a huge hockey market outside of the nhl, this question was aimed at understanding interest in other top-division hockey leagues outside of north america. more specifically — not anything like the ahl or ncaa but instead leagues like the shl and liiga.

the majority of the respondents who said they followed top-division hockey outside of north america were, unsurprisingly, based in europe, with over half (54.5%) claiming to follow other leagues and 1 in 4 (24.2%) preferring these to north american hockey.

as for north/central american respondents, a large majority — 85.2% — claimed to not follow any leagues outside of north america. here were the leagues mentioned at least twice:

"Do you follow professional leagues for any of these following sports?"

for this question, we gave several multiple-option choices of obvious sports and also allowed respondents to submit their own answers if we missed any. here were the most-commonly followed professional sports outside of f1 and the nhl, filtered to at least 2 responses:

interestingly, football and baseball were on par at 26.5% — or about 1 in 4 — each, although the most common response was actually none; 37.3% of respondents said they only watch hockey and motorsports for professional sports. the sports that received one vote each were: volleyball, tour de france, swimming, pro wrestling, gymnastics, figure skating, cycling, climbing, and australian rules football.

TEAM POPULARITY

NHL STATS

"What is your favorite NHL team?" + "If you like multiple NHL teams, feel free to name any others below." (&lt;;- capped at 3)

in order to rank each team — despite different voting methodology and sample sizes from both surveys — i normalized a popularity score based on a weighted value, composed of how many people voted for it as their favorite team and then how many people mentioned it in the "other teams i like" question. each team was then graded relative to the top team, in our case dallas and in cody's case pittsburgh.

in the table below, the numbers in purple correspond to our survey and the numbers in grey show cody's results as reference. as you can see, toronto is very underrepresented in our data, while dallas is considerably more popular and tops the chart. 3rd-place vancouver was also our most commonly mentioned "other" team with 19 votes, despite only being 6 people's favorite team.

does this mean that fans of both f1 and hockey are statistically more likely to enjoy dallas than your average hockey fan? or does it just mean that i'm primarily a dallas stars blog and this was the audience i accidentally reached when sharing my survey? (most likely the second) the world may never know!!!

another way of looking at the popularity differences across both surveys is with a little scatter plot. same data, just different presentation!

F1 STATS

"What is your favorite F1 team?" + "If you like multiple F1 teams, feel free to name any others below."

not much that needs to be explained here — mercedes and ferrari were far and away the favorites, but red bull and mclaren were also fairly popular! the least popular team of all was haas, with only one person mentioning it as a team they liked and no one voting for it as their favorite team.

interestingly enough, 1 in 3 (34) of respondents said that they had no favorite team at all, with this response scoring higher than any single team (mercedes only had 21 "favorite" votes, although it had 36 total responses). this was a large contrast to the nhl results, where only 6 people answered none for their favorite hockey team — meaning that 94.11% of respondents claimed a favorite nhl team!

(perhaps this means that f1 fans are less likely to be loyal to a team and instead prefer to follow drivers' individual careers, or that team allegiances are simply stronger in hockey fandom. or maybe not! who knows.)

something else i was curious to see concerning the most popular teams was another location distribution, although this time i didn't want to simply calculate percentages straight-up since we already know that the global distribution skews mainly toward north/central america and europe. because of this, i filtered only teams that had n >= 10 votes and calculated the difference for each percentage from the global average, so i could see which teams were more biased toward a location than "expected."

for f1: ferrari, mclaren, and red bull all had slightly higher american interest than average, with red bull especially skewing lower on the european side.

for hockey: dallas had higher than average interest in oceania, with pittsburgh scoring higher in asia and seattle being especially strong in north/central america (and thus less so in europe). toronto, carolina, and florida also had higher support in europe.

(note again that these are very small sample numbers, especially for teams with less than 20 votes!)

+ just for fun, here's how the top 4 other sports (football, baseball, american football, and basketball) skewed location-wise.

probably not much of a surprise here, although interestingly europeans were more likely than americans to say they only followed motorsport and hockey.

PLAYER / DRIVER POPULARITY

"Who are your favorite NHL players?" + "Who are your favorite F1 drivers?"

when it came to calculating the most popular players, we asked that survey respondents list up to three of their favorite players, then assigned 3 points to the first player, 2 to the second, and 1 to the third. using this weighted count, i ranked drivers and players using a normalized score.

86 unique nhl players were mentioned for this question. out of them, 84.9% (73) are still actively playing in the nhl. the most popular active players were sidney crosby and quinn hughes, while the most popular inactive player was paul kariya, with 2 mentions and a score of 11.76%.

using the same process, 39 unique f1 drivers were mentioned for this question, this time with 95% (19/20) of the current grid being represented — the only driver not mentioned a single time was nico hülkenberg. the remaining 20 drivers were either retired or reserve drivers. lewis hamilton was far and away the most popular driver in this survey, while the most popular inactive driver was 3rd-placed sebastian vettel with a relative score of 61.18%.

here are the top 25 for each sport alongside their corresponding teams:

as you can see, the most-represented team in the nhl top-25 is dallas, with 4 players (robertson, hintz, heiskanen, oettinger) making the cut! other teams to have at least 2 athletes in the top 10 are edmonton for the nhl and alphatauri for f1.

F1 X NHL CROSSOVER

this was the main reason we created this survey in the first place. our burning question was: Which F1 teams do fans of certain NHL teams tend to like — and vice versa?

in order to calculate this, i mapped all the nhl teams each respondent voted for to all the f1 teams they voted for, assigning 1 point to each. so if someone had a favorite team and named three "other" liked teams for each sport, that would be 8 points on the matrix altogether. i then filtered out any nhl team that had less than 20 total tallies for f1 teams and created the chart below:

i also removed "none" votes since i was more interested in the distribution of interest strictly across f1 teams. finally, i filtered out the f1 teams with negligible amounts of votes and created another percentage chart relative to the global average (since we "expect" mercedes and ferrari to be most popular overall):

some summarizing thoughts:

DAL and VAN fans were both less interested in red bull and ferrari and more interested in mclaren and williams

NJD and PHI both voted less for mercedes; the former preferred ferrari and the latter red bull

CAR didn't have huge discrepancies across the board, but skewed a bit toward red bull and williams

COL had the lowest relative interest in mclaren of all teams, while SEA had the highest relative interest in williams

again, these sample sizes were pretty small so maybe it means nothing at all. i'd love to run this survey again with more responses and maybe also restrict the team choices to only 1 favorite + 1 other team per sport in order to really drill down into people's preferences, but hopefully this is interesting anyway!

FANDOM ORIGINS

i always love learning about how people got into a fandom, so we also asked respondents how they got into f1 and hockey, with the following options being provided:

Grew up around it/Family

Hockey or F1 RPF

Introduced by friends (online or IRL)

Discovered individually through fandom content (gifs, YouTube, podcasts, etc.)

Hockey books & romances (Hockey)

Drive to Survive (F1)

Other films, documentaries, etc.

3 respondents clarified that they specifically discovered hockey through reading the webcomic check, please!, but i decided to implicitly include this in the "hockey books" category. a few of the "other" options for hockey also specifically mentioned the olympics.

here was the distribution of responses, noting that the question was multi-option so there is overlap:

i also made a side-by-side bar chart to note differences between f1 and hockey origins. in this case, i paired "hockey books/romances" with "drive to survive," since i see them as the two biggest respective examples of mainstream media movements for each fandom (around social media/rps spaces i should say), the former being mainly based in booktok.

as you can see here, a considerable amount of fans got into f1 through dts (1 in 5). in terms of fanfiction, hockey rpf was a lot more influential in getting people into hockey than f1 rpf was in getting people into f1 (23.7% vs. 11.3%). lastly, hockey was also slightly more common as a childhood/family sport than f1, although only by a few percentage points — 28.9% of fans grew up with hockey and 23.2% grew up with f1.

of course, i couldn't end this question without doing another location analysis, which gave some interesting results:

for f1, the overwhelming majority of european respondents said that they grew up around f1 or were introduced to it by family — 51.5%, or over half (the chart says 44.7% because of multi-option overlap). in contrast, only 24.1% — or 1 in 4 — of north/central americans said this. their results were much more evenly split in general, with drive to survive and fandom content ranking considerably higher.

for hockey, the distribution actually looked quite similar between north/central americans and europeans, although americans ranked a little higher in terms of growing up around the sport. it's pretty much the same though — the main difference is that a good chunk of the "other" votes for the europeans specified getting into hockey through the olympics. altogether, respondents from asia, oceania, and south america mostly discovered hockey through a mixture of rpf and hockey books, although these are very small sample sizes so not fully reflective of overall experiences.

OTHER MOTORSPORTS

"What other motorsports do you follow?"

we were also interested in knowing what other kinds of motorsport people liked.

interestingly, north/central americans had the smallest proportion of f1-exclusive respondents, with 37.7% saying f1 is the only motorsport they follow. here were the series that received at least 10 votes:

indycar was by far the most popular "other" motorsport series, with motogp, nascar, and general feeder formulae (f2, f3, etc.) faring well too. unsurprisingly, you can also tell at a glance that there is overwhelming american interest in indycar and nascar compared to other series!

CONCLUSION

that's about all we've got at the moment. if there's anything else you'd like to see more of, or anything you're confused about/think doesn't make sense, feel free to reply to this post or shoot me an ask :') thank you again for reading and i hope you enjoyed this little post!!! 🥲❤️

[porcelainvino]

[PART ONE] the room where it happens (b!g animatic): artist’s commentary

spoiler warning for eden, other than that, who wants to hear some lore?!?!

description/disclaimer:

better!glee is my (kind of) glee fanfiction in which my favs are essentially my ocs (i do not claim to own the characters). there’s a difference between the “glee club members” and the “better!glee characters” because some of the main characters in the better!glee story are just side characters i like in the real show who aren’t in the new directions (ex: kurt is in the NDs as well as a main character in b!g, rachel is in the NDs but is NOT a main character in b!g, maud is NOT in the NDs but is a main character in b!g; it’s confusing but i’ll try to elaborate as we go on).

each character has their own color, but it has no secret meaning, it’s just to separate them/tell them apart. i was planning, but it was honestly too much effort, to draw all of the new directions, so i only drew the ones who are main characters in better!glee.

the story takes place during the canonical 3rd season of glee, but it does not necessarily follow the canon plot of that season/the rest of the show. some of my b!g characters may act “out of character” compared to canon, but this isn’t necessarily meant to follow canon. in this animatic, there isn’t really a “good side” or “bad side”, both think their doing the right thing but also have their own flaws; this isn’t meant to villainize any character.

i do not necessarily plan to ever post the fanfiction publicly because it’s genuinely mediocre and frankly not even a glee fanfiction at this point. i don’t mean to gatekeep it or anything, this is genuinely just for my irl friends, not for anyone else. despite the name, better!glee is not meant to “fix” the show nor make it “better”, it’s just for silly funzies.

backstory, and basically the first minute of the animatic:

the last major plotline of better!glee mainly follows maud, the violin girl from s1, and her effort to join the glee club. she was unable to and discouraged to join for the past 2 years by her brother and her peers (there’s more to that but it’s too much to explain), but after becoming friends with some of the new directions members, she’s motivated to join and help them win nationals.

kurt encourages her to join. he didn’t get any letter from nyada yet, and he is determined to win nationals to add on to his transcript just in case. maud films her journey/the glee club’s plans for nationals for an av club project, and kurt encourages her to so he can maybe even use it to help him get into nyada.

kurt takes charge to help the glee club win nationals. however, kurt, the b!g characters, and the rest of the glee club have a bit of beef at the moment due to previous events (there’s more to that but it’s too much to explain), so tensions are high, and friendships are strained. his closest friends, mercedes and tina, try to negotiate with him, especially in such a busy time frame.

for context:

maud sings aaron burr’s part

kurt sings alexander hamilton’s part

tina sings thomas jefferson’s part

mercedes sings james madison’s part

rest of animatic, feel free to follow along :3:

• kurt has control of how nationals plays out, prioritizing winning. mercedes and tina hold a photo of the better!glee friend group, prioritizing their friends, at least in the beginning.

• the trophies are colored in the character’s color, representing how each one of them helped win that competition, like tina got to have a solo at sectionals/got to chose the set list (there’s more to that but it’s too much to explain). nationals has not happened yet so there’s no trophy.

• despite having beef with half of his friends (there’s more to that but it’s too much to explain), kurt begs mr. schue to help, at least temporarily, reunite the new directions for nationals.

• “the pieces that are sacrificed in every game of chess” plays while they point to maud. this is showing how the b!g characters in the new directions are slowly but surely abandoning the non-glee club b!g friends in favor of nationals (i hope that made sense).

• i genuinely don’t know how to properly explain this part because i’m not really sure how i want the plot to be (for context, i’ve only written 16 chapters but i plan for there to be over 80, with this animatic being one of the last plots), but i suppose this could be interpreted as either if mercedes and tina brought up the importance of friendship to kurt, they could all reconcile properly OR maybe mercedes and tina saying that their friend group will be fine if they temporarily work on nationals rather than focusing on fixing relationships? i’m not sure.

• just maud wanting to be in “the room where it happens” aka the choir room.

• there’s a message on the bulletin board saying that the glee club will continue to focus on nationals by themselves and do not require extra members. maud gets mad at kurt for getting her excited for nothing even though he had most of the control of how things would play out and had promised her he’d help her get in.

• maud realizes that kurt was never going to let her join and only hyped her up so she could record the success of the new directions to further his chances of getting into nyada, using her for his own gain.

• kurt saying that the better!glee friend group is insignificant compared to nationals, at least in his eyes. from his point of view, winning nationals is his chance to change the course of his future, and attempting to mend relationships is just an obstacle to that goal.

• this is just my favorite frame lol

[click here for part two]

[mskinkyafro]

Natasha doesn’t bother me for pursuing Stefan — I do not want that man. But it really irks me that she’s constantly gossiping, both about MC and her relationship w Stefan, and just about everyone in general. Her beef where it was revealed she had all this to say about all the other women rubbed me the wrong way; why are they making that her only personality?

I’m not doing a Natasha route but she’s so pretty and she seems really fun. I just wish the writers would let her expand her topics of conversation from MC/Stefan to literally anything else. Does that make sense?

I’m not trying to diss Natasha. Again, she’s gorgeous and I couldn’t care less who she couples with (I’m flirting with her man Hamish so what can I say about her and Stefan). I think more than anything the writers hate her and are making her kinda gossipy, which feels… icky considering she could be a LI. Idk. I think I’m crazy

1. To answer your point she’s always gossiping, maybe I’m forgetting things or not reading into it enough, but I don’t feel like she gossips a lot. I feel like the part that was capture on the PDA Awards was the bulk of it. And also the moment with Melissa. I feel like her gossip level is similar to everyone in the house bc they have nothing to do BUT interact with each other and “gossip”. You can apply it to literally everyone else. Shit even my man Finn, was desperate for some tea during the kiss during hide n seek between Kat and whoever. Like they all do.

To your credit, I agree with the writers have had her bring up Stefan and Mc relationship too much. Which is annoying. That I wish they would have done better at feeding that to the player without using her as much. I think they needed to a certain activity discuss more about what went wrong in everyone past relationships or instead of paywalling it, airing out what happen in everyone season since some people are in the loop or out of it regarding the other islanders season.

And Natasha shared a season with Mc so even though she constantly bring them up, I see it as her way of trying to discuss or compare their different journeys navigating the same season.

Now this might be my bias coming in, but I feel like her commentary or “gossip” isn’t any different from like mc’s own that typically we see in the thought bubbles or comebacks during challenges. So I guess it just boils to personal preference and how we perceive the writing, but I just see it as no different from Mc commenting or being savage to people’s face. Hers just got aired in the most messy way.

2. I agree and ultimately still blame the writers as a whole from keeping her as our go to lore character. And therefore we hardly get more about her personality. We see that a lot with the entire cast.

Especially when there’s so much more interesting things about her. She’s a dog groomer, is it high end or specialized in certain breeds. She’s really flexible, was she a gymnast star?

Like so many things. I guess for me, I tend to really hone in on those things and run with it to help fill in the gaps. But it’s annoying that as a player I HAVE to do that bc they don’t give them more time to talk about more things.

3. But lastly, You’re not really the demographic target for my rant LOL. I just was annoyed by moreso ppl who don’t even want Stefan or on a non Stefan route pissed off at her when in my eyes , the very qualities they claim that makes her snakey or bad friend is the very same ones Mc can have and typically does. Ones that we later revere.

Or better yet, Kat still gets hate typically but we got some who prefer her over Nat and I’m like, Kat has been the absolute WORST compared to Nat. Like cmon now.

And yes, honestly the writers once again set up the black female character for mistreatment. They know damn well a certain chunk of this fandom can’t resist it. So yknow. It is what it is. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’m never surprised.

But appreciate your reasonings, nonny. Like I said, you’re not who I’m aiming my critiques to but still. I see where you coming from and appreciate it nonetheless.

[gabessquishytum]

hello. idk if this is anything but between all those chastity device asks and/or dream dressing hob in domestic control aus + how suggestive this victorian hands belt looks: https://www.tumblr.com/dozydawn/709909812732919808/sumrot-photographed-by-nick-dewolf-1972 is this anything. maybe hob's lovingly dressed in a belt like this, except the hands are slung VERY low and almost caress his groin. hob is delighted to note that the fingers are long and look suspiciously like dream's own do when he's in the Waking, and of course hob is Very Familiar with their exact shape given all the holes he's taken those hands in. not quite a vibrating plug that keeps him stuffed all day but hey, he can go along with it once in a while if dream wants to stake his claim over hob more visibly like this. besides, it's not like he had a choice to begin with <3 hob miiiight be a lil disappointed initially because he's become so used to being teased the whole day, but he's just happy to be dressed up by dream anyway. except the hands are moving, he'll go on to discover. perhaps dream makes sure to only let them move and tease hob when no one's looking (hob would very much like to keep his job so dream sends everyone in hob's vicinity day dreams to keep them distracted or something?), or they move slowly enough to only be noticeable when someone's looking very hard, but they can definitely be felt. except HOB doesn't know that no one else is aware of them, and he also has zero control over what the hands are up to, so he has to just. squirm quietly and take whatever the fingers are up to down there, lest he attract too much attention to himself. stifle his groans as the hands get tighter and press down harder, stroking him through his clothes. the plugs and vibrators were one thing, but they were at least hidden. this is!! right there for everyone to see what a slut he is, getting off in public with just his belt! i like to think it's also been a while since dream let him sport a pussy in the Waking so he's extra sensitive too, and absolutely losing it. but since there's the thick cloth of his pants between the fingers and him, it's still not enough stimulation to fully get him off. the fingers DO end up in different and increasingly cozy positions after each teasing session so hob absolutely has to stammer through awkward conversations at the end of the day when his concerned co-workers are confused and not quite sure how to ask why his belt seems to be straight up cupping him at this point. because it definitely didn't look like that earlier today. and is he quite alright since he's sweating and panting so much? been a while since he's been SO clammy like this (but strangely glowing with pleasure, they politely skip saying). is he sure he's not coming down with the same strange virus he had last year? he did claim to have a weird non-contagious virus back then and that was why he used to get so breathless last year. (no, he just started getting a better handle over being teased and managed to look sort of put together when he finally went home, so dream decided it was time to switch things up a little to up the ante <3)

Oh OH OH anon you have bewitched me <333 you really just dropped a whole thing in my lap like it's not the most delicious concept (tm) in the world??? I honestly don't know how to elaborate on this except to say that I think you need to write this up as a fic if you have the time and energy!!! Even if you don't it's fucking delicious and you are a blessing for creating this concept <3

[cherryeol04]

Sorry! Not a request or anything but a part of me really wanted to see what’ll happen if y/n never chose to come back to the pack in taking control around chapter 8 i think?

I’d love to see your own little what if scenario, like maybe y/n slowly getting emotionless to the point where they dont want to move. Her wolf slowing down and only wanting to sleep in all day, kinda like listless

Just a little thought cause your stories got me hooked up!! And thank you!

OMG Anon! You’re the worst for even putting this thought in my head! But I mean….since you asked…hehe 😏

So in order for Y/n to not have gone back to the pack, I actually went back all the way to chapter 3 of Losing Control. And I think I made Y/n just a little more broken than in the original story. I honestly absolutely hate myself for writing this! Ahhhh!!! 😭 😢

Let’s all take a moment and be glad that instead of this timeline, we have the original one!

Hope you enjoy the little drabble, my love!

TW: This is very sad and has heavily references to depression and loss of the will to live. If this is triggering to anyone, please skip it! Remember that your mental health is important! You are loved!

The pain you were feeling was worse than the last time you had left the pack. At least last time, it had been your choice. Not that you had wanted to leave them to begin with, but you had thought it had been the right thing to do. You had been the problem. This time was different. It wasn’t you that was the problem, but they all seemed to think it was. The way they stared at you - the hatred gleaming in their eyes, piercing your soul. It was something you probably would never forget.

You had honestly thought everything had been fixed. You were a part of the pack and bonding with everyone. There was so much love. But it seemed like you had been deceived. Everything you thought was real was nothing but a lie, because if they actually care for you then they wouldn’t have tossed you away so easily. It didn’t matter if Jisung was dying or not! You don’t just kick out someone you claimed to care about! A person that others put countless hours into making feel comfortable - going so far as to create a nesting room for them as well. This wasn’t how you were supposed to be treated!

And yet here you were, alone in a dark alleyway. No home, no money; just a bag with the little belongings that you owned and even then you couldn’t say they were yours. Sure, they had been given to you, but they weren’t yours. You had nothing that was truly yours. In a little less than a year you had lost your family, friends and now the only other place you could call home. As cliche as it sounded, it felt like the world was against you. Your happiness meant nothing to anyone and you were destined to just be alone.

It was probably best you were alone. As much as your wolf howled in protest, pacing anxiously, you knew it was true. Because you didn’t want to put yourself out there again to be hurt. As the saying goes “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Shame on me…

As day turned to night, you wandered the backstreets of the city that once was so warm and inviting, but now was a cold, cruel barren wasteland to you. You managed to find a decent looking group of people with a barrel fire that you could stay with to keep warm. It would have to be your home for now. Until you could find something better. If you could find something better.

Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and with each passing tick of the clock, you felt more and more mentally drained. Your optimism diminished quickly and left in its wake numbness. You stayed with the group all that time, occasionally scrounging for food to help pull your weight, but the more you thought back on your life and what it could be if only Chan and the other’s had actually loved you, the more hopeless you felt, to the point that sleeping on the grimy floor no longer bothered you. Instead, you laid there, listless - eyes seeing but not registering. You couldn’t feel the rest of your body and it felt almost as if you were floating.

You were just existing.

Your wolf had long since given up trying to motivate you to get up and go back to the pack. Its cries for Jisung finally dying out. In fact, your wolf had been silent for days now, motionless. A part of you wondered if it was possible to kill it. It seemed impossible, as it was an extension of you. It was who you were, a shifter. But what was a shifter without a pack? Or without a will to live at the very least?

Nothing.

You were nothing and they had proven that you.

As you closed your eyes, perhaps for the final time, you couldn’t help but hope that Jisung survived his attack and the pack was happy and healthy. Because while they may wish ill upon you, you only wanted the best for them. Because you still loved them.

You would always love them.

[folklauerate]

It wasn't you that wrote that santhony fic but all the rest checks out, too many bitches in this fandom fake love Kanthony seeing the god awful and out of characters fic your write and how much you love to bring Siena into their relationship and have Kate and Anthony cheat on each other. Also I can't wait for Bridgerton to cast Sophie since you like to invent gay ships and ignore the existence of canon women of this saga :)

I wonder if the anon message someone sent me earlier was from you or from someone else, and that anon sent you a screenshot of what they sent me and you two have discussed it together! That, you silly billy, is fan behavior <3

This has really tickled me because it couldn't be further from the truth, and so, I really wonder how much of my work you're 1) reading and 2) comprehending and 3) if you have any reading comprehension skills at all whatsoever. I think this message proves that you do not.

Honestly, I feel as though I really don't write anything remotely angsty lmfao. I don't write them cheating on each other or in relationships with other people because I personally cannot always handle writing certain subject matter because it makes me a touch sad! You can come comb through my AO3 and see that this is exactly the case.

That being said, even if I did write those things, it is none of your business that I do. It's literally fanfiction. Since the beginning of fanfiction, from the dawn of the internet, people have been writing and shipping random characters together for their own fun. For me, at least, I enjoy having a creative outlet and exploring different scenarios, and I would never begrudge another person to write whatever they want and whomever they want. If I don't like a certain ship or the setting of a fic--I don't read it! It is as simple as that! And I certainly don't take time out of my day to go into the inbox of someone on tumblr and send them a cowardly anon message, riddled with untruths, that is only spreading hate. Funnily enough, in attempting to "stick up" for "women" and/or "woc," you are quite literally harassing a woman of color, who, I assure you, does not at all have the same amount of money or connections or influence Simone Ashley does. You are quite literally sending hate and rude comments to someone who faces plenty of racism, sexism, and homophobia, and who lacks the privilege wealth and influence might provide as a shield that a very famous actress does. On what planet is continuing to harass someone anonymously--which you do because you know that these comments are wrong, and if you sent them from your actual account, you'd be reported and lose your privileges on the internet, and rightfully so--defending the very same people you claim to love and "stan"? Do you think they would cheer and be joyful that you are spreading such hate and vitriol in their name? Do you think anyone in their right mind would support such actions?

I know that this sort of misplaced hatred comes because you lack power and the ability to have control over your own life, and likely because you are deeply unhappy with yourself. While I have never taken the time out of my day to harass and spread hate in this way, I've suffered from feelings of depression and unhappiness before, too--a lot of people have. I promise you, this is not the way to find happiness with your life. It is not the way to feel any power over your life, it is not the way to feel any joy or find meaning out of your life.

If you need to speak to someone about your feelings, I urge you to call up a friend. I urge you to write a letter and then throw it away. I urge you to get all these feelings out of your head and then take a long, nice walk, with good music. Find a hobby--you can even start writing fanfiction, which is free, fulfilling, and you can do it in your own free time that you will now have because you've stopped spreading hate, and you can make friends who share your interests!

There is a brighter, better world out there, and I want you to discover it for yourself. You will feel so much more fulfilled and happy with your life when you do. Yelling at people you don't know online and sending them hate messages is not the way to live a happy, fulfilled, meaningful life. It is not the way to feel content and at peace with yourself. It is also not the way to make friends! Anon, let me tell you something; I have written plenty of fanfiction about Kate and Anthony. A lot of it is actually quite good. When people are kind to me and are my friends, I send them snippets of that writing before I put it up on AO3, just because I know they'll enjoy it. I talk about AU ideas with them, I talk about characters with them, I make jokes about those characters! It's fun. It's nice. I could do all of that with you, too, if you were kinder. Lucky for you, I am quick to forgive and like to see the best in people. I urge you to look for the best in yourself, work on yourself, and then come back. It doesn't have to be this way.

[give-me-stuff-to-watch]

Watching Stuff Day 3 - 7/9/2023 - Current Streak: 3

For today's movie, I watched The Iron Giant, which was actually particularly interesting since I had just seen Nimona yesterday and they seem to share a lot of themes and messages. Both are about the dangers of governments and societies meeting anything different from what they consider normal with extreme actions because they automatically see it as a threat/monster without getting to even fully understand the situation or know anything about the person they're directing those actions towards. Because of those assumptions, they end up nearly killing a good person, and then that person shows how wrong they were by sacrificing themself to protect the group that was against them from the damage they were causing to themself while trying to kill them. The message being about how acting out of fear against people different from you because of preconceived notions often causes harm to innocent people and has a damaging effect on society in general. Along with being a critique on extremism in government and the harm/corruption that causes.

Looking at the movie on its own now, visually, it was really good! The animation was very fluid, and there was a lot of great attention to detail in the movements and the various environments/set pieces. There was also effort put into shots, their composition, and their angles. The only gripe I really have about it visually is the movement of the Iron Giant. It's kind of stiff and lacking in motion at times in a way that didn't exactly feel intentional. I understand having it be that way to some degree because it makes sense for a robot to move robotically, but it didn't feel as realistic as other animated robots I've seen. I feel like this is probably because he's a 3D model and the movie was made back in 1999 when there was much less experience with 3D animation and it would've taken a lot more time and budget to refine it all. It's still alright, just noticibly lacking at a few sections. Something that did suprise me though, was how well the shading on 3D objects looked. I think it's helped by the movie having a style with mostly no shading or minimal shading, which allowed it to not have to worry about light and shadow on the 3D parts as much. But even in scenes with more dramatic lighting and a light source on the models, the shading still looks like it properly fits in and matches the style. It honestly matched better than some much more recent productions I've seen.

As for the plot, I thought it was handled really well! The choice to set it in the 1950s America really fit what it was going for with its message. It was a time where the US was especially on guard and fearful of anything foreign or different, as demonstrated with Mansley's character who always acted to extreme degrees trying to claim that it was all for the good of his nation.

As for its characters, they were fairly simple, but were very effective because of their execution and dynamics with each other. It really sold me on the friendship forming between Hogarth and the Iron Giant, which added to the tension and feelings of distress towards the end when all of that is threatened. And it made sense for these bonds that were made to be the catalyst for the Iron Giant to choose to be peaceful. Hogarth's kindness and friendship was a large part of why the Iron giant chose to be a good guy despite what he was built for. Hogarth represents the good of humanity and how it can be understanding and worth protecting, which is why the Iron Giant ultimately decides to protect them all in the end.

While I'm talking about characters, I would be remiss not talking about Dean. He was a real one. He had only barely known Hogarth and was willing to shelter him and the Iron Giant for bit without snitching. He made sure to protect Hogarth when the Iron Giant's auto-defense was acting up. And when he realized that it was just the auto-defense he was immediately remorseful for how he responded to him.

Overall, a great movie and I'm glad I watched it.

[pre1ude]

@gareththegreat , 👫 for four headcanons about our muses' relationship

their first actual interaction with each other is so profoundly abysmal it gives danny war flashbacks to middle school. by the time it happens it's been about four months of quietly playing each other in dodgeball, during which a.) gareth grows the utmost contempt for new kid prisslord and b.) dan starts seeing their friendly rivalry as lovely opportunity for future friendship but is much too shy to approach gareth. he's sort of unnecessarily loud and chaotic, but his passion in a game is admirable. sometime near the end of the school year in '85 he hits gareth so square and hard in the face with a ball that his nose bleeds all over the court. when dan rushes to check him over gareth headbutts him out of sheer protective instinct (rich blonde fuck quickly approaching at his 11 o'clock, it's the jason instinct) and they both end up at the nurse's office with identical nosebleeds. the rest is history.

after that dan spends some 3 weeks trying his best to apologize (his chest hurts after arguments, man can't handle genuine conflict, especially since he can't exactly pinpoint why gareth acts like he hates him so much), but they just end up bickering every single time. gareth is immovable, danny is indignant. they slowly and stupidly grow closer through banter without realizing. it takes exactly five tries for daniel to fold his arms and call gareth a stubborn brat.

they bicker so. goddamn. much. some days gareth decides to be a contrarian for the fun of it and other days dan strolls up all prissy and far too matter-of-fact to be bearable. their arguments can span months (even years), it takes one mention for the whole topic to be resumed. i can only explain it like this: they're both viciously dead-set on winning an argument (honestly i have a lot more to say on this but let's keep it brief) and i love that for them. gareth is highkey the only person able to make dan lose his 'indoor voice' and dan suspects he relishes in it. in an act of cosmic vengeance, dan gives gareth the nickname 'picnic man' during one legendary fight about fashion superiority. he stills calls him that occasionally and is not sorry about it, gareth has no room to harp on his suits when he's wearing red plaid. they truly can't (and refuse to) agree on anything beyond a mutual dislike of jocks.

and maybe horrible parents. it's no secret gareth doesn't get along with the other keefers and daniel is well-aware of his reputation as the family's 'black sheep' before they're even friends. he'll never admit to assuming it to be true, but getting to actually know the man enlightens him on a few personal feelings he has on his own mother. the thing is: he gets it. he is painfully, miserably familiar with the inability to please a parent, the mistakes framed as failures, the need to rebel underpinned by a desperation to earn a love that is conditional, that has stipulations. and maybe he'll never talk outright about his mother, who he claims to love and appreciate and who he has deep, mangled scars from - both physical and psychological. and maybe it's far too easy to assume he agrees with gareth that, 'yeah, parents are shit', just for the sentiment because what could a rich, doted-on only child raised in the lap of luxury possibly understand. but if there is one thing he and gareth can agree on.. let it be that affection and support should not be constantly earned through the skin of your teeth. and maybe the way danny tries to support him through it and talks about it, vague though it may be, lets gareth know that he understands conditional love. and that he doesn't practice it. fuck the keefers.

+1

he grows to understand gareth's anger and recognize the different facets of it that actually mean things like pain, fear, spite, sadness or resignation. danny sort of knows what it's like to have a language. his own is comprised of many silences that all have different connotations. and having your own language means being difficult to read and easy to abandon to your frustrating, indecipherable moods and danny hates how little control he has over it. so he understands quickly that gareth doesn't either. and sure, sometimes they get lost in translation, maybe misjudge a mood or a word, get short with each other, but daniel makes it a point to never just walk away. and yes, he uses his soft voice on gareth a lot.

[sapphyreopal5]

I have been thinking about taking a DNA test. Which one do you recommend?

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask. So I've taken actually a few different ancestry DNA tests, which I assume is what you mean based on the fact I once posted about my own 23andme results. I've taken Ancestry, 23andme, and even initially Genes for Good because it's free and contributes to a study being done by The University of Michigan. Unfortunately, as of checking today, Genes for Good is currently no longer sending out spit kits but you are still free to sign up via Facebook and fulfill the health related surveys. For the best DNA kit this honestly depends on what you're looking for.

Health

If you end up uploading your raw data to a website like Promethease to look over health information, you might get the most comprehensive SNP if you do the AncestryDNA kit. This is based on how many SNPs are genotyped by each company. Apparently, 23andme genotypes around 640k SNPS, while AncestryDNA and MyHeritage genotype about 700k SNPs. Now if you want a better breakdown of things you are potentially at risk for, for fun analysis of thing such as the likelihood of you having a certain skin tone, eye color, if you're likely to enjoy asparagus or not, etc., then 23andme is a great user friendly website for this. Apparently LivingDNA is great for meal and exercise plans. However, I believe the best you can do with health related is a whole genome sequencing but it's of course far more expensive than your typical ancestry kit.

Ancestry

While all of these kits can do what they claim with ancestry, I've found that some breakdowns are better than others. 23andme is very good with pointing out regions within a country and is to me the best with the breakdowns. This company is starting to improve with its pool of people with different ancestry backgrounds. I've heard of people saying AncestryDNA wins out in this aspect with people who are not white or are mixed, although I believe 23andme is more accurate to me speaking as someone with Anglo Indian ancestry on my maternal side.

I've personally also uploaded my data onto other websites like MyHeritage (which some people consider to be very outdated) and even Wegene to try getting a better breakdown of my Asian ancestry (which does offer an ancestry kit too). With Wegene, I learned it's mostly catered to those who have Chinese ancestry more than anything else and can greatly exaggerate how much Chinese ancestry someone has based on what I've seen for myself and from others on Reddit.

Family History

AncestryDNA seems to have the best database for finding relatives and for doing family history research hands down. However, 23andme also has a pretty big database for finding distant or lost relatives. I'm sure you've heard the news back from April 2018 when the Golden State Killer case finally found a suspect using the GEDMatch database to find relatives. Most kits on the GEDMatch website get its DNA raw data uploaded from FTDNA, MyHeritage and AncestryDNA but you can also upload your 23andme raw data as well. GEDMatch or its parent company however does NOT have its own ancestry testing kit.

However, this is far from the first time ancestry DNA results were used in a forensic setting as it was used to help catch the serial killer Derrick Todd Lee, who was on Death Row but died in 2016 from heart disease in the Louisiana State Penitentiary. The Forensic Files episode showcasing Lee's case can be seen below. They apprehended Lee back in May 2003 after they extracted his DNA and genotyped upon discovering Carrie Lynn Yoder's body on March 3, 2003, which was 10 days after her death.

Overall, I tend to like 23andme the most BUT if you can do so I'd also try out AncestryDNA, particularly if you're interested in finding potential lost relatives or uploading your raw data onto other websites.

[lets-make-a-thing]

About @lets-make-a-thing

By now you must be wondering... what is the "letsmakeathing" account? What even is this "project"?

For those who wish to stay and vote in the project, I look forward to the continuation of your support. <3

ABOUT ME AND THE PROJECT

Hello. I'm the creative manager of this random and spontaneous tumblr poll project. I'm a digital artist and video editor, hobbyist music producer and concept designer. I used to dabble in creative writing back in 2016, and am currently working towards my jlptN4 qualifications. Put shortly, I'm an otaku with a lot of hobbies.

For context, I call the purpose of this account a "project" because that's all it is right now honestly. It's not like, an OELN, a novel or action game or animation or even anything yet. When the time comes, we'll vote on that. :) Simply a random concept design idea that is intended to represent the wishes of myself and of a good harmonious community.

Basically I don't know what this is. Or better yet, it's more like "let's find out what this will be, together".

Sorry, was that too anime protag vibes? 😂😂

ABOUT SPIRITUALITY

tl;dr People can act stupid, and through this project I think we can, at least a little bit, show each other how not to act stupid /hj

On a different note, I don't like to talk about religion and spirituality online because there are a lot of controversial opinions about them. However, I'll mention it because I think it is very interesting in regards to our project.

I believe in the Universal Truth, comprising of God the Father, the Holy Spirit Mother, Christ the Example. For context, I'm spiritual, not religious.

People who claim they are Christian or who represent God sometimes do really bad things. And because of sinful people claiming to represent the wishes of God, people who would have been believers instead turn away, because they believe that just like the sinful people, God also "acts evil." Because of the sinful people, they have a harmful interpretation of Christ in their minds. Definitions of words are switched around, and unknowing people are tricked into believing "God is evil."

This makes me really disappointed in people sometimes.

Situations like that are part of the reason why I aim to be kind and respectful to various people, to properly help represent Him and the Truth, and to act in a way that God would approve of. Obviously I'm not perfect, but I like to think I'm trying.

I want to clarify that God is the one who decides who represents Him. And because the true God is always loving and caring of everyone, having a plan to bring about the highest good for everyone... if you have been hurt by someone claiming to represent God, I want you to know those people are not true emissaries of God or Christ in those moments.

THIS PROJECT AND SPIRITUALITY

You may be annoyed reading the above section, or why it has anything to do with our project, especially if you are not a spiritual, philosophical, or religious person. Bear with me, I'm getting there.

For more context, I also like looking at different cultures. Being open minded. Seeing things from other people's perspectives. This does not mean I endorse certain beliefs, as I do have strict values of my own, but I do like to understand the thinking processes of people with experiences different than my own.

The results of the poll was mainly fantasy, then psychological/suspense, then mystery. And next, the target demographic was older teens and young adults. This means the content and concepts would be more deeper, psychologically. I think there is a certain way to touch on these topics with decorum, which is what I want to express when writing story arcs and stuff for our project.

Relating that to lets-make-a-thing, I think that this project can unite people with different beliefs, backgrounds, and values. I think that everyone can see a portion of God, no matter if it's a lot or a little, and even if they don't call it God, He is still there. I think by showing people that we have that in common, we can gradually melt our fears away to replace it with harmoniousness, and then we can understand a little better the way we should act as humans.

I don't mean to sound annoying, or preachy. I would just like to tell a good story. A funny one, a heartwarming and emotional one; a story with some kind of significance.

More specifically, I want to tell the story you guys want to see. That's why I have you all voting this project in the first place.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This is the first type of concept designing project I've documented online, to this extent.

I did not even expect or initially intend for the project to be serious and deep, or anything regarding psychological or spiritual concepts. But what made me audibly gasp and spin in my chair for 5 minutes straight is when I saw the results of the polls for the genre pick poll.

When I saw the vote result, lots of thoughts went through my mind. Do people actually want to see this kind of concepts? Won't they be afraid because they might have been traumatized by false religion? Don't most people in this generation hate people who hold similar beliefs to myself?

What is funny is the exact opposite is true. You guys actually picked the only option which had anything to do with spiritual concepts. This surprised me very much, in an unexpected but very good way. Even seeing some of the comments/hashtags of suggestions (for example, under the "what is magic poll") I found very interesting.

I feel that a story that presents glimpses of little Truths and spiritual concepts in a way that is palatable and even entertaining is something that may be well received, compared to something dubbed religious that may scare people away. Something entertaining and nourishing, like Avatar, the Last Airbender (2005), or Dragon Prince (2018), or To Your Eternity (2021).

Can't hurt to dream, right?

CONCLUSION

As you can probably tell, over the past few months I've grown to care about this project quite a bit, but at the same time I'm not too serious about it... and I think being able to have a project without pressure (to have a sort of "creative breathing room" I guess?) helps enable me to continue posting the project with a relevant passion.

Thank you for the feedback about the polls, I will consider it carefully.

I also intend to make a taglist post for those who would like to continue being a part of the project. I'm curious as to what this will become in the future, but I also want to take my time to make sure I don't get burnout. The next few posts should be much more shorter than this, but no promises. :\

Thanks for reading all my yappin. Hope I didn't bore you.

-- @lets-make-a-thing

[yanderefairyangel]

As a person who enjoys Engage I find your fascination with hiding genuine criticisms of the writing behind some apparent "translation issue" when in reality, both works can be considered their own works that do not interact with each other to be appalling, especially considering you yourself never mentioned being someone who actually read the original script yourself and instead works off of a fan's translation, as much of an adaptation as the real translation.

You can't expect people who don't like Engage to suddenly be fond of it because some randoms on the internet say the "right" way to read it is locked behind knowing another language or vaguely understanding what was changed.

It's honestly incredibly saddening to see that this is how people defend the game that I from the bottom of my heart enjoy on nearly every front.

Alright.... I really didn't know what to answer but hum

"You can't expect people who don't like Engage to suddenly be fond of it because some randoms on the internet say the "right" way to read it is locked behind knowing another language or vaguely understanding what was changed."

Why do you believe I am adressing to people who don't like Engage ? Just why ? Why don't you think that I am sharing this knowledge with actual fan of the game who maybe are interested to see the differences with the original text ? Besides, since you enjoy the game as well, shouldn't you be idk happy that someone actually takes the time to share the OG dialogue ? Anyway.

"As a person who enjoys Engage I find your fascination with hiding genuine criticisms of the writing behind some apparent "translation issue" when in reality, both works can be considered their own works that do not interact with each other to be appalling, especially considering you yourself never mentioned being someone who actually read the original script yourself and instead works off of a fan's translation, as much of an adaptation as the real translation."

I'd love for you to tell me what are the "genuine critcisms" in question. Really. Cause each time someone attempted at "genuine criticism" it ends up with me wondering how they managed to miss something so simple in a plot that's really not trying to be convoluted. Somehow people missed Lumera's explanation that she didn't knew Sombron was reviving when it was the freaking early game. Somehow, they will claim that Alear is never shown as scared when they have 4 cutscene showing how they nearly died because they were sooooo paralzyed they couldn't move. Somehow, they will ask themselves how Alear could summon the Emblems when the portal was closed even though Sombron and Alear said 3 times in less then 30 seconds that the portal was still open. You know. Stuff like that.

"Both works can be considered their own work that do not interact with each other"... Anon. Do you know how translation works ? Just to give you an idea. I am a literary student. For now 10 years, soon 11 and in the near future 12 years, I have studied literature... In all language. I had to learn English, I had to learn Spanish, I had to learn Ancient Greek and Latin. And by that, I mean reading it. I don't do commentaries of Shakeshapeare or Jekyll and Hide in my original language. I do them in English. And the reason why, I already explained it in the post. It doesn't matter how faithful the translation are, nothing will change the essential fact that the original text in JP as nuances and subtleties that cannot be translated or rendered in another language.

And I really disagree with you because a translation work is supposed to offer access to people to a text whose language they cannot understand ! That's the whole point, that the translation is supposed to help you and me and everyone who cannot understand this other language. Ignoring this aspect who is essentialy the whole point of a traduction is literaly a joke by this point Anon.

If you really think changing one word doesn't mean anything, let me tell you you are wrong. Just to give an example.

Someone recently shared the translation for Alcryst's boss dialogue against his double in the Xenologue vs the localized text

This may seem like a small change but in reality it is not. The Eng text is saying that Aclryst is projecting his own weakness on his double to disturb him = XenoAlcryst is not weak.

However in the JP text he is implying that he sees Alcryst as a reflection of his weakness, meaning that in reality he is just as insecure as Alcryst is and just take a facade to sound powerful. Bet you whatever you want that it's because in this world too Alcryst was constantly compared to Diamant.

Those sentence have completely different meaning and gives a complete different view of Alcryst.

That's why by no stretch of the imagination you can say that a translation is as valid as the OG text and can work as its own thing. Nope. Never. This never worked like that. A translator, localizer or whatever have you as NO authority on the text. 0. Nada. Niet.

A translator is not the author, nor the writer. It's someone like you and me : a reader. A reader who will use their own understanding of a story and intepretation to try to offer a translation of the original text so that others like him can understand it.

This is why even today very old text like Esope's fable are given to people like me to translate from the Ancient Greek to the English and French. Because a translation has 0 validity over the og text, meaning that all translation provided that they respect a certain code are valid and by certain code I mean : NOT. CHANGING. THE.ORIGINAL.MEANING.

By that I am not saying if you translated あなたは素敵な人です by "you are a sweetheart" instead of "you are a nice person". By that I am saying that if you have an arabic fairytale about an old sheikh walking with a gazelle in the desert and that you translate the word ghazal by "deer" ! Of course, deers live in the desert !! Sure !!

If one translated text was enough, you wouldn't have so many editions with different twist and translation of a same text to the same language. That's because there is as many way to translated a text as there is reader on this freaking planet, so the only way to go and understand what the original text really say is by reading the text written by the actual people who have authority on the text, the authors, the writers ! So yeah there is a "right" way to read it and it's absolutely by "knowing another language or vaguely understanding what was changed" that you can achieve that. Speaking as someone who does this EVERY DAY since I keep translating things. English isn't my first language, so every time I talk with someone using English, I have to translate it myself. Even now, I am doing this. Even now, I have a project to do which will involve me reading text in ARABIC and GERMAN. Because those are the original language those text were written. Those are the language spoken by the author, the culture of the author, the social medium of the author, the environement of the author etc. Saying that the English version as as much authority as the Japanese version and can work as an indepedent entity is complelely ignoring this. This is in fact, a point of view frankly egocentric and ethnocentric. This is admitting that you simply don't wanna hear about the original text written by the actual authors and prefer to deal with some translation offered by people who simply do not know their boundaries * handwaves at Fates and 3H*

Speaking of which, I do translation for Doujin songs as a hobby. Hatuski Yura, Unlucky Morpheus... stuff like that. It's just one translation among many others. You will find some better then me at that, but nothing will change the fact at the end, I nor any of the people who translated them as authority over the text.

"especially considering you yourself never mentioned being someone who actually read the original script yourself and instead works off of a fan's translation, as much of an adaptation as the real translation."

I made a literal freaking whole post about why I use the OG script. I even use actual screenshot of the JPN version in my post. The translation that is posted in my post are all MINE's. That I do after reading the text and some searches in the dictionnary. It really doesn't take much : just use Google traduction, reverso traduction and deepl to compare the different result, read the romanji, search the term for said of said kanji and booom. I do that ever since I had translation classes. You know. The one that had me learn English, Spanish, Latin, Greek. The one who would ask me to read a text in Latin and make a full 6 hours of translation (2 Hours) and making a literary commentary of this text in LATIN. Just to give you an idea. The stuff I do, I and the ENTIERTY of the literary analysis faculty. If you really think that you can put the translated text on the same level as the OG, you are completely mistaken. Really. By your logic, me and the entierty of literary analysis faculty are wrong for making commentaries using the OG text. Besides, that's completely ignoring a lot of factors. Is it really respectuous to the author to say that instead of judging what they actually wrote, we are gonna judge what someone else wrote ? Really ? So, if I want to do an analysis on Etie, I have to give up on the JPN version or think that ENG Etie is just as valid even though she had NOTHING in common with the character that the writers had in mind ? Is it really fair ? No. It's not. Localization isn't the equivalent of a fan cover. If I analyse the translated text, I am not analysing Komuro's writing. I am analysing a rendering in another language among so many other way to translated it.

"It's honestly incredibly saddening to see that this is how people defend the game that I from the bottom of my heart enjoy on nearly every front."

Then how do you want me to defend it, Anon, if I don't have the right to use the OG version as a reference ? Do you want me to defend the localized text ? In that case, it's no longer the writing I am defending, but a certain translation choice ! Literary commentary and traductology are two different things you know ? If I am judging the writing, I am not judging the translation. If I am judging the translation, I am not judging the writing. Common logic.

Unless you want me to tell people that the JPN version is better then the localized one ? If we gonna insist on seeing it as separeted independent entities which they pretty much are not

Anyway, if you are SOOOO disappointed, how about... you defend the game yourself ? How about that ? Instead of trying to lecture me who spend time and energy over looking for the original script, translating it, commenting on it and sharing it in the different analysis I made ? Hm ? After all, you yourself said you "enjoyed it on nearly every front" so why not ? I am sure you would love to defend it right ? Or see people defending it ? In fact, it's quite surprising you aren't please to hear that the game has a better story then people give it credit for but that sadly a lot of subtleties was lost in translation.