#honestly like even just being acknowledged and spending time with people was more than enough

[aerisfelidae]

I actually got to have a birthday this year?

Only a little one, I crashed the Christmas party of someone I didn't know very well with some people that I adore, and we watched cringey nativity movies and I nearly threw up from laughing

One of my besties MADE super cute earrings and gave me a card that made me cry, and I got a funny mug and some Manwhore Stink™ perfume, and some people went really extra which they absolutely didn't have to but I'm amazed that they did

And it's the first birthday in at least 20 years where I haven't felt inconvenient to love. It's nice to ring in the last year of my 20s with happy tears

[slasherscream]

I don't normally like make requests from people if it's obvious I'm sorry for my awkwardness.

Anyway you were saying how you were really into Jordan li recently so am I and I've read every single fanfiction or every rant there is about them and I crave more. I have been in a angst/fluff mood and I haven't seen anyone do this idea either. I was thinking thinking maybe Jordan and reader gets into an argument (not really picky about what) and the argument gets really heated (you know how jordan shifts into their male form to Intimidate or get their point across) Jordan shifts into their male form which scares reader (I'm thinking reader doesn't have a good past with angry men) and reader backs away from them in fear Jordan notices and tries to comfort them but reader flinched when Jordan touches them. Reader then asks them to leave so they do but Jordan spends like a week trying to make the situation better.

(I would also like to put reader isn't scared of Jordan more so the action of the blatant Intimidation tactic they tried to use against reader. Reader is angry that jordan would try to scare them even if it wasn't on purpose it still hurt)

Jordan sorta just spends a week following reader around Like a lost puppy trying to treat reader like a absolute queen even if reader won't really acknowledge them until Jordan has an breakdown while drunk coming to readers dorm begging for forgiveness.

Again if its obvious I don't know how to make requests I'm sorry this has just been on my mind for so long.

A/N: this request is absolutely perfect, and exactly to my tastes. thank you for sending it, doll!

WORD COUNT: 4k+ under cut | hurt/comfort and angst/fluff

It’s hard sometimes, knowing when to push and when to just let Jordan be. Not at all a skill you learned over night. You’d gotten good at the push and pull of bringing them out of their shell back when the two of you had just been friends. Better at it than anyone else, at least. It was a slow process, but every second was worth it.

Now on the good days you don’t have to push at all. A hand on their arm. A coaxing smile or two. Any act of connection, no matter how small, enough to make them tell you what’s on their mind. Even if they scowl the entire time they let it out. It’s the letting it out at all that counts. Progress!

Today you miscalculated. It’s been a bad week. Jordan hadn’t dropped in the rankings, but their points took a small dip. They hadn’t been very active on their socials, busy doing work as Brink’s TA. But the point gap between where Jordan sits at #2 in the rankings, and where Andre sits at #3 is still a wide open chasm. 

It’d take something truly disastrous to knock Jordan from the spot they’ve held for three years now. But the rankings are more important than anything to Jordan. No matter how gently you try to bring logic into the situation, Jordan gets irritated quickly, accusing you of not taking it seriously. You often wonder how that could be, considering you’re in the top eight yourself, but you bite your tongue and don’t bring it up.

The group had tried to go out for lunch. It was okay at first, everyone making an effort to ignore the storm cloud Jordan cast over the table as they picked at their food. Then Andre had made some type of stupid joke. Not even about the rankings, but enough to make Jordan snap at him. The situation escalated so quickly that Cate had threatened to take off her glove and make everyone shut up. You paid your portion of the bill and dragged Jordan out before anyone could start up again. 

And now you’re here, somehow also on the shit list for not being supportive enough. As if being supportive isn't everything you do. Day in and day out.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side. You don’t honestly think it was an innocent comment, do you?” Jordan snaps, standing up from your couch to pace the length of your dorm room. 

“You know how Andre is. He gets sarcastic when he’s hungover, and he was packing a double whammy. He did coke and got drunk last night. He was just a little off. He wasn’t making a real dig at you.” You defend your friend, knowing Jordan will regret what she said at lunch once she’s calmed down. 

“Oh, so we’re all just supposed to tiptoe around his highness? If he was gonna be a dick during the entire thing he should have just skipped coming out with us.” Jordan’s eyes narrow in on your expression, the sudden pursing to your lips and looking away. “What?” She snaps.

You take a deep breath at the tone, “Well, Jordie, if you want me to be honest Andre wasn’t the only one who wasn’t on their best behavior today.” 

A beat of silence.

You look up and there goes Jordan rolling her shoulders back, eyebrows practically in her hairline and you sigh. You definitely should have brought up her attitude later. 

“You really are taking his side!” She scoffs in disbelief. 

“Nope. No, I am not, there are no sides. We’re all friends. Friends fight. I’m just trying to remind you that you actually are friends. You can’t just…” You trail off, uncertain. 

“I can’t just what?” She throws up her hands, volume raising. 

“You can’t act like this every time the rankings do something that isn’t spectacular for you. I know they mean a lot to you but you can’t take the numbers out on the people who care about you.”

“You just don’t get it-”

“But I do get it! We talk about it all the time. Your feelings are completely valid, the way you react to them isn’t. You’ve been giving Andre looks that could kill all week and he didn’t even do anything. If he was a little snappy at lunch, maybe he’s upset that his friend has been treating him like shit over something he barely cares about.” 

“Well if I’m so-” Jordan shifts, pitch of his voice deepening, on the verge of yelling, “-fucking awful why don’t you go run to Andre and cry about it together?” 

He only takes two steps towards the couch before you use your powers. It’s instinct, the way the forcefield bubbles up around you. 

Whatever Jordan was going to say next shrivels up and dies on his tongue. The only sounds in the room are the quiet hum your powers make when you use them, and the scared, panicked gasp you make from inside the forcefield you put up to protect yourself from him.

There’s a second where the two of you just stare at each other. Both in shock. 

“Baby-” Jordan tries taking another step forward, a small, barely there shuffle of his foot. His face falls when the forcefield gets a little louder, glows a little brighter. 

Jordan looks close to tears. It’s that expression that pulls you out of the animal state of fear you’d fallen into. You look away from them. Take a few heaving breaths. Do your best to not mix up faces of the past with your present and future.

Your forcefield flickers out slowly. A concentrated effort. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to- I would never ever-'' Jordan shifts again. She rushes too fast into your space to kneel on the ground in front of you, her hands reaching for yours, desperate and clumsy.

When you flinch away, moving so you’re perched on the armrest of the couch, still trying to calm yourself down, she’s left with her hands grasping at air. “Baby, look at me. Please? Look at me, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry that I… I’m sorry. I would never hurt you. I fucking swear I wasn’t-”

“I know, Jordan.” You shake your head, trying to stay calm. “Could you please….leave? I… I can’t calm down right now. I’m trying. I know you didn’t mean to… to scare me, but I need you to go.” 

“Baby, wait, fuck. Fuck, wait! I’m sorry. Let’s just talk. I can’t leave you alone like this. I’m sorry.” She’s panicking now, throat feeling like it’s closing up. 

She doesn’t try to reach for you again, but her hands feel like they’re burning from the effort it takes to keep them away from you. It’s instinct to hold you, to make it better, to pull you closer. She’s always been the place you run to when you’re scared, the shield you step behind when you need to feel safe. She doesn’t know what to do when you don’t even want to be near her.

“We’ll talk later. I’ll… I’ll have Cate come over so I’m not alone. Just.. leave.” Your voice breaks on a sob, and you’re begging her to leave, and that’s what makes Jordan head to the door, legs shaking. She’s never made you cry before. 

She’s glued to her phone the rest of the day, waiting for you to call. You don’t. 

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You’ve been best friends since you were freshman. You haven’t gone longer than two days without talking in all that time since. No matter how busy you are. No matter how shitty either of you feels. Jordan doesn’t know what to do with the hours of the day that you usually fill. 

She breaks on the second day when you show up to class and move to sit by Luke on the other side of the room instead of with her. You don’t even look at her as you walk by. 

Class doesn’t start for another five minutes. The teacher isn’t even here yet, and she’s always late. Jordan moves to get up, already feeling like she’s choking on all the words she needs to say to you to fix this, but is stopped by a firm grip around her wrist. She’s about to snap when she realizes it’s Cate, taking up your usual spot in the seat that isn’t up for grabs because it’s Your Seat. 

“Don’t make the situation worse. She just wants to go to class. Don’t hound her, Jordan.”

“Hound her?” Jordan’s voice raises, incredulous. “She’s my girlfriend. I need to talk to her.” 

“You need to apologize.” Cate bites. “Dick.” 

“That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped me.” Jordan speaks through gritted teeth.

“How about you try apologizing after she’s done all her classes? That way, when you inevitably upset her, she doesn’t hole herself up in her room all day crying. And feel bad about missing class on top of it. You know… the way she spent all of yesterday?” 

“She cried all day?” Jordan’s shoulders sag, voice getting smaller. 

Cate softens, patting Jordan’s hand.  “It’s not just about you, and you know that. Triggers like this really fuck with people. And she’s also pissed that she’s triggered in the first place. Let her cool off.”

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He makes it a few hours before he’s trailing after you. 

He can tell by the tension in the line of your spine that you know he’s there. But you don’t outright tell him to get lost, so Jordan can’t stop himself from following you around. Even if you don’t want him there. 

He sits across from you as you study in the library. Makes puppy dog eyes at you the entire time. He can’t be bothered to unpack his bag. It’d be useless to pretend he’ll do anything besides watching you.  

Two hours in, he gets up and leaves, hating the way your shoulders relax as he turns to go. 

He comes back twenty minutes later with your favorite foods and drink from the best local coffee shop. You don’t reach for any of it. He’s always loved how stubborn you are, how you stick to your ideas. Your principles. How steadfastly you make up your mind. Right now he’s just a little terrified of that same stubbornness. Remembers when you’d only been friends, that first year of peeling one another open, feeling each other out. 

(“I’ll never do it, Jordan.” You’d whispered vehemently, drunk and mad and beautiful. 

“Do what?” 

“Be with anyone who tries to fucking cow me into submission. It’s fucked. I won’t do it. I’ve had enough of it.” 

You’d passed the bottle you’d just had pressed to your lips and Jordan had tried not to think too hard about it, even when he tasted the remnants of your sticky, sweet lip gloss beneath the vodka.) 

He doesn’t get up to leave again until you do. 

Jordan walks you to your dorm, but trails a few steps behind you. He tried walking directly beside you at first, but your hands brushed together and the look you gave him was cold enough to freeze blood. 

So-

-behind it is. 

Jordan doesn’t get the chance to say goodnight before you slam the door in his face as loudly as possible.

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Jordan doesn’t push her luck by trying to walk you to your classes the next morning. She does wake up extra early to buy you the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers she could find. She leaves them outside your door and goes to class, hoping you’ll at least acknowledge her, the next time you see her.

During your first shared class of the day you walk in holding the bouquet of flowers. Jordan perks up in her seat, holding her breath. You do finally look at her. You make direct eye contact as you throw the flowers into the trash can at the teacher’s desk.

Jordan does not break her pen in half when Andre whispers “yikes” under his breath.

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Two more days and Jordan feels like he’s going insane. He knows you feel worse. One glance at the carefully nonchalant expression you’ve worn all week tells him that. Putting on a mask is nothing for you. That look is the first thing you learned how to do in the top ten. 

You’d never hidden the way you felt around him before. Not like this. His skin keeps buzzing with the urge to corner you. Jordan needs the two of you to talk about what happened. But he’s already walking the world’s thinnest line. 

And he knows he can’t force you, if you’re not ready. 

Another thing he knows: when you’re this upset you don’t clean. Simultaneously, when your room gets messy your depression gets worse. He skips one of your mutual classes of the day and lets himself into your dorm with the key you gave him during first year. 

Jordan looks around, wincing at the chaos. You never let it get this bad. Not even during your most soul crushing finals. He starts by throwing away the trash. The tissues you wiped your tears with. The takeout containers. Pages of your notebooks you ripped out, carelessly thrown around the room. You take awful notes in class when you’re distracted. He hates that he’s distracting you.

He wipes down every surface with your favorite scented cleaner. Dusts your books. Sweeps and mops. Changes your sheets and grabs the brightest, happiest color comforter you have stashed in your closet to put on the bed. As he adjusts the pillows he thinks about how often you spend the night at each other’s dorms. Jordan wonders if you’ve been struggling to sleep like he has. 

He hesitates, but goes to his room down the hall to grab his cologne. He spritzes it lightly over the bed and hopes you still find the way he smells comforting. 

Next is your laundry. He starts up a few loads, irons and puts away the clothes that were sitting in a wrinkled heap on your couch. You’ve always hated doing your laundry. 

He’s heading back to your room, a full laundry basket of clean clothes under each arm when you run into each other.

“Are those my clothes?” You ask, forgetting that you aren’t exactly speaking to him in your moment of confusion. 

“Yeah… I’m… I was cleaning my room. Doing some stuff. Figured I’d do a few of your loads too, while I’m already at it.” He shoots for casualness, knows he fails miserably.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say, words stiff and uncomfortable. 

“I know I just…” Jordan shrugs, relieved to be standing within a few feet of you after days of silence, and feeling pathetic over how happy something so small makes him. “Why don’t you go get something to eat with Cate while I finish up here?” 

“Finish up what?” You ask.

“I still gotta put these away.” 

You sigh, wanting the conversation to end, “You don’t have to put my clothes away, Jordan. Or wash them. I’m quite capable of doing it myself.”

Jordan takes a step back when you make a reach for one of the baskets under his arms. “I know that! Just let me do it. Doing your laundry always pisses you off. I’ve got it.” 

A battle of wills ignited. You, staring him down. Jordan, trying not to squirm. He wants to try apologizing again but doesn’t know if he’ll only make it worse.

“Please, baby? Go somewhere nice with Cate. My treat.” He puts down a laundry basket (behind him, so you can’t take it) to grab his phone from his pocket, and does something you can’t see. 

When you hear the particular chime your banking app makes when you get a Zelle deposit you roll your eyes. You don’t bother checking your phone and seeing how much he sent. You know it’s too much. But if you say anything he’ll just say you and Cate have expensive tastes (which…true.)

“Maybe you can catch a movie too? I still gotta finish up with your bathroom.” 

“Jordan.” 

“Just,” Jordan shifts, putting down the other laundry basket and slowly reaching out to grab your hand with hers. She could almost cry when you let her touch you. “I know you’re fucking pissed at me. And I know you’re still too upset to talk about it. But…. fuck, please just let me take care of you. Please. I have to do something. I can’t just sit around, after I made you feel like this. It’s driving me nuts. I’m supposed to-” 

You stop her, putting a hand on her cheek and sighing, “Okay, Jordan. I’ll go hang out with Cate while you finish.” 

“Don’t ‘hang out’, go get dinner. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.” She says, sullen and staring up at you, playing with your fingers while you’re still letting her touch you, the first time in days. 

“I’ll head to Cate’s.” 

“Nah, head to Luke’s. They’re studying together right now.” Jordan takes a risk, stepping into your space slowly, giving you the time to move away. She leans in and kisses your cheek, gentle. When you don’t move away she can’t help herself, kisses the edge of your lips too. 

You don’t kiss her back, but you give her hand a squeeze as you pull away. You stop halfway down the hall before you turn back to look at Jordan. “Call Cate and tell her she better not be fucking Luke by the time I get to his dorm.” 

Jordan laughs. Your face is a little more relaxed as you turn away this time.

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On Friday the group goes out to the club. They chose one of your favorite haunts, hoping it would entice you enough to join. You still declined the invitation. Everyone knew you would. They still wanted to try. 

You claimed you had a lot of work to catch up on. 

“She hates me. She fucking hates me.” Jordan groans into his hands, already three drinks and two shots in. 

“Well, let’s not panic.” Luke says. 

“Or be dramatic.” Andre snorts, taking a shot of his own. “You two are obsessed with each other. Relax.” 

“Relax?!” Jordan tenses, “My girl won’t fucking talk to me. How am I supposed to relax?” 

“She talked to you yesterday.” Andre drawls. 

“That wasn’t anything. We usually-”

“-Spend every free second of the day together? We know.” Luke teases. When Jordan doesn’t even smile he winces and slides him another shot. 

“She’s not even that mad. She’s more upset than anything.” Cate says, cuddling into Luke’s side. 

Jordan’s eyes follow the movement and he swallows at the distinct lack of your own weight leaning into him. You always get touchy when you’re tipsy. Climbing on top of him, clinging to him like glue. It’s his favorite part of nights out together. That and the playful booing you guys get from the group. 

Andre cuts back in, “I’m serious, dude. Relax! You guys have been together for how long now-”

“Three years.”

“-yeah, exactly. Since the fucking building of the pyramids. You two will be fine. She knows you didn’t mean anything by it. One fight won’t kill you.” 

“This wasn’t a fight, though. I fucked up! You didn’t see the look on her face. When she used her powers… I mean, fuck! You know? She was scared of me.”

“You know that’s not true, Jordan.” Luke protests. 

Jordan runs his hands through his hair, ruining the carefully slicked back style.

“Let’s just get you another drink. Come on, dude.” Andre wraps an arm around Jordan, hauling him to his feet and pulling him towards the bar. 

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You get woken up by the sound of knocking on your door. Loud knocking. You keep your eyes closed, hoping whoever it is will go away. You don’t even want to be awake. Let alone socializing. 

The knocking gets louder. Exhausted, you drag yourself out of bed. You glance at your phone on the bedside table as you get up. It’s three in the morning. Now you’re exhausted and pissed. 

You stomp over to the door, wrenching it open, prepared to cuss someone out. You deflate when you see who it is. “Oh, hey.”

Jordan is leaning heavily on the door frame, staring at you with watery, red eyes. She looks like the walking dead. “Baby. Fuck, did I wake you up? I thought you’d still be awake. You said you were pulling an all-nighter.”

“I was tired. Just wanted to sleep.” You shrug. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Still at the club, took an uber back. Too fucked up for anything else.” She mutters.

“That’s good, Jordan.” You say. 

“You haven’t called me Jordan since freshman year. What happened to Jordie?” She sighs. 

Your face softens. “Baby…”

“No, wait, just let me…” Jordan leans her forehead against the door-frame, closing her eyes tight. “I’m sorry. I fucked up big time. I’m sorry that when I get pissed I take it out on everyone around me. I’m sorry that I don’t fucking listen when you’re just trying to make me feel better. I’m sorry I yelled… I’m sorry I shift-”

“Whoa, hey.” You cut her off, shocked. “You shifting isn’t the problem, Jordan. Fuck, come inside, honey.” You say, taking her hand and pulling her inside. 

You sit the two of you on the couch, clicking on the light so you can see each other. You move so you’re facing each other, pulling her hands into your lap. “First off let’s set one thing straight. You shifting is never the problem, okay?” 

“You got so fucking scared.” Jordan looks away, hair falling into her face.

“Not of you.. Just the fucking… optics of it! I don’t ever want you to be something you’re not. And you’ve got the incredible gift of being able to be whatever you feel like being any time you want to.” You reach out and touch her cheek, guiding her to look at you, “I don’t want you to not do that. I wouldn’t ever want you not to do that, okay?”

“Okay.” She says. There’s a moment of silence, then Jordan shifts. He looks for any sign of fear or hesitation, holding his breath. When he doesn’t see any he relaxes. “But I scared you so bad you used your powers.” 

“Yeah, that did happen.” You nod, caressing his cheek with your thumb, “Maybe it’s just a little scary when someone bigger and stronger than me starts yelling like that. Also, invulnerable. Let’s not forget that. Food for thought.” 

He closes his eyes, “I’m an idiot.” 

“For yelling at me? Yeah, just a little. Don’t yell at me like that no matter what form you’re in. That's always scary. Couples talk. They don’t yell. Most of the time. We can’t be the couple that does that.”

“I’ll never yell like that again. Either form. I promise.” Jordan says, “Can I hold you? It’s been a fucking week. I’m losing my mind.” 

You laugh, climbing into his lap and Jordan sighs, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he can. He tucks your head into his neck. “I missed you like fucking crazy.” 

“Missed you too.” You sigh, “Stay the night?” 

“You’re not leaving my sight for the next two months.” He laughs, pulling you closer.

“Only two months? That’s fucked up, I thought you missed me.” You tease. 

“Shut up.” He scoffs, kissing the side of your head. 

You snuggle closer, letting the tension of the week drift away.

“You yell at me like that again and your only hope is being invulnerable, actually. I’ll put you through a wall.” You kiss his shoulder cheerfully. 

“I’d do it before you got the chance.”

You burst into laughter and he pulls your head away from his shoulder so he can see you the way you’re supposed to look around him. Happy. Content. He can’t stop himself from kissing you. You can’t stop yourself from kissing back. 

[jaynovz]

So I reblogged a post earlier about how your friends don't secretly hate you or think you are annoying and the way you know that is they're still hanging around after you go on an absolute deranged rant in the group chat and that nobody has the time or energy to put into a con trying to fool me into thinking they actually like me or whatever

And that I know my friends are busy and if they didn't actually like me they would spend more time watching TV than listening to me ramble etc and all of those are very good points!

However something that I think is also important to internalize is that--

Yes your friends and loved ones do you think you're annoying sometimes. It's not the end of the world! Because everybody's fucking annoying sometimes and *you* think they're annoying sometimes too. Even people who really really enjoy your company and like you are not going to like you 100% of the time. That is perfectly fine and normal.

The problem arises when people snip and snap at each other because they're annoyed and don't apologize or acknowledge it, right. There are many times that I am annoyed with my loved ones and so what I do is if it's not some actual big problem that needs to be unpicked I just take a deep breath and go take a walk or disengage and do something else.

You have all made a pact with each other that we like each other enough to move past any of the annoying moments. Again as long as it doesn't become toxic and it's not an actual issue.

Like sometimes I get in a mood and I talk and don't make sense or I'm grumpy or I honestly just talk too much or I talk in circles

I imagine at certain points that can be annoying

Anyway just a revelation that I had that it's fine if you're annoying, it's fine if you're a burden, we're all burdens on each other, that's called being alive and having relationships. Deciding to stick with a relationship and to keep working on it is the commitment we all make and choose to continue carrying that burden. Hopefully it is reciprocal but it will go in phases and cycles it's not going to always be 50/50.

All of that to say, you're allowed to annoy your friends and they're allowed to not always be 100% happy with you and vice versa. It doesn't mean they don't care about you, it means that human beings rub each other the wrong way sometimes and then we all as, hopefully, mature adults deal with it and grow and continue on.

[mountttmase]

A Mountain To Climb: The Sequel

Chapter Eight

Note - I’m very interested to hear what you have to say about this one. Just remember relationships are never perfect and I hope I haven’t upset you all too much 🩷 feedback would be very much appreciated

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7.7K

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut and angst

Masterlist

You weren’t expecting anything much, but a simple ‘welcome home’ or ‘hello’ would of been enough to suffice. But clearly that was too much for him now.

Ever since Masons injury and subsequent surgery he’d been down in the dumps. You got it, of course you did, and you let him wallow for as long as you thought acceptable yet when you tried cheering him up a bit he no longer seemed interested.

He was quiet, never seeming to want to come out of his shell too much anymore and no matter how much you tried, he didn’t want to budge.

You left him at first since it was just him being quiet, but when he started to pull back from you physically then you started to get worried. Mason was a cuddle monster and always loved to have his hands on you so in the beginning when this was still the case you were fine but as the weeks passed he was beginning to keep to himself. No longer wanting to hold you or keep your hand in his. You knew something was really wrong when he pushed you off gently as you tried to give him head scratches in hopes of getting him to relax into you but if anything he moved further away.

You tried waiting, letting him come to you when he was ready so you didn’t overwhelm him but he never did anymore. Choosing to keep it all inside or talk to one of the boys.

You tried not to take offence to it though, telling yourself he was like it with everyone not just you however when you got back from work one night to find a house full of boys and Mason looking happier than you’d seen him it weeks you couldn’t deny it stung a little bit. Especially when Mason didn’t even acknowledge your existence. You kept yourself out of the way, eating dinner in the cinema room and by the time you went to bed Mason was already fast asleep.

Mason was healing up nicely, but you figured he’d gotten used to you tidying up after him and with all the underlying tension you were feeling you didn’t say anything. Silently picking up after him and making sure the house was spotless. Not that it should of bothered you too much, it’s not like he’d asked you to move in with him yet but you’d both discussed you spending more time here and asides from the occasional night here and there you spent most of your time living with Mason. Hence why you wanted to keep the place tidy but he seemed content living in a mess unless you sorted it out.

That’s how it went for the next week or so, you coming home to a house full of people and Mason not so much as batting an eye in your direction. You were eating alone in the kitchen one night when he came in and your heart stopped, wondering if he would say anything but he simply got a glass from the cupboard and left again. Leaving you to tidy up all the take away wrappers and bottles that littered the room.

Chilly walked in a little while after, a sad smile on his face as he stood opposite you and you tried to muster one back to make it look like you were okay but he saw right through you. ‘You okay in here? I know we’ve been around a lot lately but if it’s too much we can go. I know he’s been a bit of a grump lately, he’s been the same in training so I’m a bit surprised he wanted to hang out. I thought some company might do him good’

‘Don’t be silly, it’s Masons house so it’s up to him’

‘Well you live here too’

‘Not officially’ you winked and he looked at you sympathetically. ‘It’s fine, honestly. He clearly prefers your company to mine right now’

‘It’s not that, y/n-‘

‘I’m gonna head up to bed, I’ve got a long day tomorrow’ you smiled, cutting him off as you didn’t think you could take anymore of his kindness. That didn’t stop him from pulling you into a hug and you felt your eyes burn at the feel of someone’s arms around you.

‘I’ll have a word with him’

‘There’s no need, honestly’ you smiled but you could tell you sounded emotional so after a quick goodnight to took yourself upstairs. You were in bed soon enough but fell asleep a long time before Mason made his way up to you just like usual.

The next day felt even worse somehow. It was one in the afternoon before he messaged you, letting you know he’d slept in and he would text you later as he had some stuff to do. You didn’t bother replying, knowing you’d see him soon enough and you couldn’t think of anything nice to say to him right now.

You weren’t sure what would be waiting for you at home, hoping for at least a quiet house and in the back of your mind you had the awful thought of skipping out on him all together and going back to your flat but you knew you couldn’t. You were working late today and even though he’d been tough to be around lately you knew he still needed you, well you hoped he did at least, so you took one big deep breath before you opened the front door.

It was dark inside, the only light you could see was coming from the living room and once your coat and bag were tidied away, you followed it to find Mason sat on the sofa, with his face glued to his phone. He didn’t so much as look up at you as you walked in and you bit your lip before clearing your throat.

‘Hi Mason’

‘Hey’ he called, not bothering to look up at you and you waited a beat to see if he would acknowledge you in any other way but once it was clear he wasn’t you made your way into the kitchen, biting your cheek so you wouldn’t let any tears out.

The kitchen was spotless for once and you lost your appetite immediately at the fact there was nothing for you to eat. Usually he would at least leave you something when you got back this late but clearly he’d forgotten how to do that too. Right now all you wanted was your bed so you that’s exactly where you went, walking passed Mason without a word and up the stairs.

You’d been under the covers for about twenty minutes when you heard the door open. You hadn’t been crying but you knew your eyes were watery and your voice would give you away so you pretended to be asleep. That didn’t stop him coming over to you and sitting on the bed behind you, tentatively reaching touch to touch your shoulder.

‘Why are you up here?’ He whispered and you just shrugged your shoulders no wanting to lie to him that you were asleep but not in the mood to speak to him either. ‘You feeling okay?’ He asked and you nodded to let him know you weren’t sick. ‘Do you want me to get you anything to eat?’ He mumbled but you shook your head to let him know you didn’t before you heard him let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t say anything else just placed a quick kiss to your forehead before leaving the room. It was probably the most intimate he’d been with you in a while and you had to use all you’re nerve to keep your emotions inside.

You were upset, not just because this had been going on for weeks but the fact you’d let it get to this point was something you never thought you’d do. You couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed you properly and sex had been off the table for a while making you wonder if he was getting it from somewhere else.

You hated that you’d had that thought about him, your past bleeding into your future but you didn’t have another explanation at this point in time.

In your mind, he’d given up on you but didn’t have the heart to let you go yet. You weren’t sure how much longer you could put up with his mood before you said something but you were too afraid about what that would mean for the pair of you.

You tried to forget about all of it, drifting in and out of sleep until Mason eventually joined you. This night was different though, him finally cuddling up to you and placing a soft kiss to your shoulder and you bit you lip hard so you wouldn’t cry. Not realising his touch starved you were until you felt his body heat on you but after five minutes or so he was off of you, rolling over to face the other way.

You wondered if Ben had said something to him yesterday, but if he had and this all he was willing to offer you after he knew you were upset then that would break your heart even more. You wanted to reach out and hold him so bad but the fear of rejection kept you rooted to the spot.

He was gone the next morning when you woke up but there was nothing around to make it look like he’d even been there at all in the first place. You didn’t even bother checking your phone and once you’d left for work you’d made the decision that you weren’t going back their tonight.

You didn’t want to let him know though. As petty as it sounded you wanted him to wonder where you were and message you first just so you could feel like you maybe meant something to him.

It felt weird stepping inside your flat knowing you’d be sleeping there tonight. You barely spent time here anymore as you were so used to being at his. When Mason asked you to stay at his more regularly he understood that you still needed your own space and offered to take care of paying for your flat still but you refused. Sometimes it felt like a bit of a waste just having it sit there but for moments like this, when you didn’t feel comfortable at his, you thanked your lucky stars you still had it.

You sat on the sofa, a pizza in the oven that you didn’t really want but you knew you needed to eat something. You didn’t even bother to check your phone as you knew he wouldn’t of texted you and as the hours passed the more alone you felt.

It was around 10:30 that night when you were getting settled in bed that you saw your phone light up, Mason calling and you felt sick at the prospect of talking to him but you knew you couldn’t ignore him.

‘Hello’ you answered shakily and your eyes stung at the sound of his voice.

‘Hey, where are you? It’s getting late’

‘I’m at home’

‘Are you? I’ve just checked every room and I can’t find you anywhere’

‘I meant my house’ you told him and you felt his mood shift through the phone.

‘What? Why are you there?’

‘I just am’

‘Oh…’ he trailed off and you knew if you stayed on the call much longer you’d be crying and you didn’t want him to hear that.

‘Like you said, it’s getting late and I’m tired so I’m gonna go to sleep’

‘Y/n-‘

‘Night’ you interrupted before ending the call and placing it face down so you could ignore anymore calls or texts that might come in. It was all in vein though as when you woke up the next day you saw he hadn’t tried to contact you at all.

The same routine happened for the next two nights, you staying at your flat and him texting you at a silly hour to see where you were. On the friday night you’d just got changed into your pyjamas when there were a few loud knocks on the door. You knew it was him immediately before you’d even answered the it but you still felt the shock roll through you at the sight of him when you eventually did.

He brows were drawn together, his bottom lip in between his teeth as he chewed on it and his eyes looked sad as they flickered over you.

‘Mason? What are you doing here?’

‘Funny, I’ve been wanting to ask you the same question for days’ he said, walking inside suddenly and you shut the door with a gulp before turning to him. He was perched on the arm of your sofa and you cautiously walked towards him and stopped just out of his reach. ‘Are you gonna tell me why you’re here?’

You were flabbergasted by his attitude and lack of self awareness to the point where you couldn’t even speak. He just looked at you with the same angry expression before huffing when you wouldn’t talk.

‘Why won’t you talk to me’

‘You haven’t spoken to me properly in weeks, Mason. This is probably the most you’ve said to me in so long but god forbid I do the same to you. You’ve really hurt me so is it any wonder I don’t want to talk to you?’ you told him, your voice sounding more vulnerable than you wanted it to and your heart broke even more when you realised it hadn’t effected him in any way.

‘What are you talking about? I see you everyday and we talk all the time?’

‘If that’s what you think then fine, but I know how I feel Mason and you’ve completely pushed me away’

‘No I haven’t’

‘You have!’ You cried, getting irate at the way he didn’t seem to care or even notice what he was putting you through. ‘Ever since your surgery I’ve looked after you. I’ve cooked for you, made sure you had everything you needed even when I’ve come home late from work and I didn’t feel like it. I do it cause I love you but it’s like you’ve gotten used to it and you just expect everything to be done for you’

‘I don’t’

‘When was the last time you loaded up the dishwasher? Or made the bed in the morning? Or even did a load of washing? I do it all Mase and it’s not like I’m begging for you to praise me but I don’t get anything from you anymore. I’m supposed to be your girlfriend and not your maid. And it’s not even just that, I don’t remember the last time you kissed me properly let alone anything else’

‘I kiss you all the time’

‘You haven’t in weeks. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, we haven’t had sex in as long as I can remember’

His eyes fell to the floor at this, your words seeming to sink in as he let out a little sigh.

‘Well why didn’t you talk to me? I’m not a mind reader’ he snapped back defensively but it just angered you more.

‘I shouldn’t have to remind you of those things you should want to do it. The fact that you don’t hurts like hell. Every time I looked at you I just felt more alone and I have no idea what I did to make you act this way’

‘I’ve been injured, y/n. I’ve had other things on my mind apart from you and what you need all the bloody time!’ He exploded. ‘You know how stupid I looked the other night? it’s my house, and you basically tell Ben you don’t want them there so they all go. That’s not your decision to make. I choose when people are there not you and I choose when i want all the other crap done. I haven’t asked you to do any of that and if you want it done then fine but that’s your call. You can’t make me do it.’ He ranted, your eyes filling with tears as he tore you to shreds. ‘As for the other stuff, maybe if you showed me an ounce of affection sometimes I might show it back’

You refused to let him carry on like this or show him how upset you were so you walked over to your front door and held it open, signalling you wanted him to leave and lucky for you he got up and walked out without a word.

You bit your lip as you slammed the door, refusing to cry but you couldn’t believe everything he’d just said to you. You had no idea what had gotten into him but this is the last thing you were expecting to come out of his mouth.

Exhausted by everything, you took yourself to bed, AirPods in so you could listen to something and keep your racing thoughts at bay and hopefully get some sleep, wondering if you’d feel better in the morning but Masons words were on repeat in your head.

It was the next day and you’d seen the text about half an hour ago, debating on what to reply but in the end you thought you may as well tell her the truth knowing she’d find out eventually. You didn’t feel any better about what had happened the previous evening and figured Mason wouldn’t want you anywhere near him today.

You weren’t sure if you were up for company but you hadn’t seen Soph in a while and you figured it would be good to get a second opinion and validate your feelings a little bit so you agreed, telling her you were at your flat and she promised to be there in the next hour or so.

It took everything in you not to break down in her arms when she pulled you in for a hug and she must of felt it as she held you even tighter and for way longer than she usually did.

‘I bought cake’ she smiled as you pulled apart and you lead her into the kitchen so you could make a tea for you both. ‘Are you okay? What happened?’ She asked softly and you gave her the run down of what’s happened over the last few months. From Mason growing distant to completely shutting you out all together and also mentioning how lazy he’d gotten. You tried to keep a lid on your emotions and for the most part you did, there were no tears just your voice shaking a little bit as Sophia looked back at you with a concerned face.

‘I should be honest with you’ she told you shyly and you gulped down a nervous lump. ‘Mason came over last night for like an hour, him and Kai spoke but I wasn’t sure what it was about ’

‘Oh’ you breathed, wondering what Mason must of said to Kai and who’s side he would of taken. ‘I just don’t know what’s going on. Or what I did’ you sighed, rubbing your forehead as you shut your eyes. ‘He really blew up at me yesterday. Said I can’t make him do what he doesn’t want to and it’s not my place to say things to his friends. It just made me feel super small and like I don’t mean anything to him’

‘Oh love’ she sighed, reaching out to put her hand over yours and you gulped away the tears that were starting to build. ‘I’m sure it’s not as bad as it seems’

‘I don’t know, it all just feels a bit hopeless right now’ you sighed ‘thank you for coming to check on me though’

‘Don’t be silly, you know I would any time’

‘Can we just keep this between us? I’ll speak to Mason soon I just need some time on my own’

‘Of course’ she smiled, her phone ringing soon after before she told you she had to run and go to the game. You didn’t bother watching it or checking the score, choosing to go to bed early and watch a few films to take your mind off of everything. You hadn’t heard a peep out of Mason since he walked out of here yesterday and it was the longest time you’d gone without talking since you could remember.

All the feelings you never wanted to feel again were sitting uncomfortably in your chest. Anger suddenly bubbling up inside you that he’d managed to convince you to let him in and then dropped you like it was nothing. It would be hard to start again on your own, but you told yourself that if this was it then you’d never trust a man again. You’d been on your own before and you could do it again but the voice in the back of your head was screaming just because you could didn’t mean you wanted to.

It was still fairly early when you drifted off, exhausted from all the emotions of the day and with nothing better to do. The next morning you slept in later than you’d intended to, the continuous buzz of your phone waking you up eventually and you grabbed your phone to see a few missed calls from Freya. She didn’t give you much time to think as she was calling you again and you cleared your throat before answering.

‘Frey? Is everything alright?’

‘Why haven’t you been picking up? I thought you were dead’

‘I’ve been asleep’

‘Well wake up, I need to borrow a top for tonight. I’ll be over in a sec’

‘Freya wait-‘ you sighed, trying to tell you you were at your flat rather than Masons house but she’d already cut the call off and you didn’t have the energy to call back. You figured you’d wait until she called back first, hopefully Mason would open the door and he would have to explain why you’re not there so she could give him a talking to.

None of that happened though as she was knocking on your door 30 seconds later and you opened up with a confused frown on your face.

‘How did you know I was here?’ You asked and she shuttled her shoulders.

‘Mothers intuition’ she told you and you rolled your eyes before following her into your room where she proceeded to flick through your wardrobe to find what she wanted.

‘What do you need this for?’ You asked but she kept her face away from you as if she was embarrassed.

‘I may have a date tonight’

‘Ooooo’ you teased, sitting up in hopes she’s turn and look at you. ‘Anyone I know?’

‘That’s classified’

‘Oh, tell me please’ you pouted as she finally looked at you but you felt intimidated by her stare.

‘Why don’t you tell me why you’re here first?’ She questioned before sitting on your bed with you and you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your emotions in check with her.

‘I feel like you already know’

‘Woody told me a little bit yeah, but I’d rather hear it from you’

‘Woody?’ You laughed, everything now clicking into place. ‘You’re going on a date with woody?’

‘Oh shush’ she told you, trying to be serious but the blush on her cheeks gave her away. ‘Well you haven’t told me anything. I’m supposed to be your best friend’

‘I know I’m sorry’ you breathed, your head falling into your hands as you took in a breath. ‘It’s all just a massive mess’

Freya let you vent, nodding along to let you know she was listening but you had a feeling she already knew most of it considering how calm she was and she gave you a sympathetic smile at the end of your long rant.

‘I’m sorry love, that sounds shit. But hiding out here won’t do the pair of you any good’

‘Last time we tried to speak it didn’t go very well. I’m not sure I want to talk to him right now’ you huffed and just as you were about to speak her phone started ringing.

‘Listen, I’m so sorry but I need to shoot’ she told you, jumping up and you furrowed your brows at her sudden change of mood.

‘Okay… I’ll walk you to the door I guess’ you laughed, getting up to follow her out but she held her hands up as if to get you to stop.

‘It’s fine, you stay here I’m sure I won’t get lost on the way’ she laughed. Kissing your forehead and walking towards the door. You let her go, hearing the door shut and taking a deep breath as you were finally alone again.

The sound of footsteps made you freeze though, thinking maybe she’d forgotten something and was coming back but you weren’t expecting to see Mason stood in your doorway. You carefully stood up, not knowing what to do but you could see his eyes were sad as soon as you looked at him.

‘How did you…’

‘Freya let me in’

‘Oh’ you breathed, looking down to the floor ‘So this was a set up?’

‘I wouldn’t go that far. I just knew you probably wouldn’t let me in so I asked for her help’ he told you and you couldn’t deny it stung a little knowing she’d gone behind your back after she knew how you felt about everything. ‘She came by earlier and I dropped her over here. Don’t worry, she’s already given me an earful’

‘Why are you here?’ You asked quietly, looking down. You knew why but you weren’t sure you were ready to forgive him yet or if you were ready for if things went the other way.

‘Cause I think we should talk’

You couldn’t pick out what way the conversation would be going from the sound of his voice and the uncertainty of it all made your eyes sting. You didn’t know what way you wanted things to swing but having him here now and the potential risk of loosing him made you realise you didn’t want to be without him. The thought of him ending things right here with you in your bedroom was too much for you to handle and you couldn’t hold anything in anymore, covering your face with your hands and sobbing into them as you began to panic and fear the worst.

‘Please don’t, Mase. Please don’t do this’ you sobbed, your chest tightening as you finally got some of your emotions out. ‘I can’t-‘

‘Hey, baby no’ he interrupted, closing the gap between you and holding you by your arms. ‘Don’t do what?’

‘Please don’t break up with me. I’ll do anything please just don’t leave me’ you sobbed, crying for the first time since this had all happened and it was like two months of pain were coming out at once.

‘What? Why would you think that?’ he asked you softly, eventually pulling your hands away from your face and wrapping them around his shoulders so he could pull you into a hug. ‘That’s the last thing I want’ he mumbled into your neck and you began to loose it. Relief flooded you at his words but you were still upset, now crying even harder because you sort of knew things would be okay and when he hooked his hands under your thighs, you let him carry you over to your bed. He sat you down as you straddled his lap, sobbing into his neck as you finally let out all the emotions you’d been holding in for weeks. All the hurt and miscommunication flooding from your body but you couldn’t stop the heart wrenching sobs as he held you to him as tight as he could.

You felt him shuffle to the side a little bit, rubbing his hand up and down your back gently as he placed his lips to you ear. ‘Lay down with me’ he whispered and you let him move you so you were half draped over him. His hand reached under your hoodie to stroke over you back in attempts to soothe you but it just made you cry harder. You hadn’t felt his skin against yours for so long and the goosebumps erupted almost immediately as you buried yourself into him further, letting him just hold you together.

He let you calm yourself down, your sobs turning from heartbreaking to small sniffles and when you were ready you shuffled back to look at him shyly. His eyes were glossy as he looked at you with a sad expression as if he was disappointed in himself.

‘I’m so sorry’ he breathed placing his lips on your forehead as fresh tears formed in your eyes. ‘I’ve been the prick of all pricks and you deserve so much better than what I’ve been giving you. Everything you said the other night was right and I knew it but I was too far up my own arse to agree with you’

‘What happened? What did I do-‘ you started but he shushed you immediately, moving so he could cup your jaw in an attempt to make you not look away from him.

‘You didn’t do a thing, I promise. It was me and I’m so sorry it took me almost loosing you to realise’ he whispered, sadness crashing like a tidal wave in your tummy as your lip wobbled at his words. ‘When things go wrong, I have a tendency to self implode. After the surgery I got really down in the dumps and I couldn’t make it stop. And I knew I was hurting you, of course i did, but all I could focus on was myself. I know it’s not an excuse and it doesn’t suddenly make everything okay. I know it probably makes things worse actually’ he sighed and you felt your bottom lip tremble.

‘I’m so sorry’ he breathed, kissing your forehead and you gulped down a sob at the feel of his lips. ‘For all of it. For not talking to you and pushing you away, for making you feel like a stranger in your own home. For not helping out and leaving you to do all the work and for not telling you how much I love you every second of the day because I really really do’ he told you, tears spilling down his cheeks as he let you know how sorry he was and you felt the sobs you’d pushed down rise back up. Hiding in his neck again so you could cry the rest of your emotions out.

‘I’m sorry you felt like you had to confide in Ben. He told me you didn’t really want to talk about it but when he could see how I was effecting you I was so angry and embarrassed I’d let it get to that point. That’s why they weren’t there the next day cause I wanted to talk but I was so nervous and you looked so broken and when you went straight to bed I didn’t know what to do. I just seemed to make everything worse’

‘I thought you’d given up on me’ you said quietly, hearing him let out a shuddery breath at your words. ‘After everything I’d done for you after your injury it just felt like a massive kick in the teeth’

‘I’m so sorry’ he he told you, tears now running down his cheeks as you were spelling out how he made you feel. ‘it was never you I promise. Honestly? Every time you touched me I thought I was gonna break down. I didn’t want you to know how bad I was feeling and I knew if you showed me any affection then I was done for. You’re the only person in the whole world I can’t act around and I didn’t want you to think I was pathetic. But I went the complete other way and took you for granted cause I figured you’d always be around and I didn’t know what to do when you weren’t. I’m so sorry’ he told you, his voice cracking at the end as he started to cry himself so you held him closer to you. ‘This whole years been fucking shit and I let it get on top of me. You’ve been my light in the dark and I’m so ashamed of myself for how I’ve treated you’

‘Come on’ you whispered, pulling his head into your neck so he could let his emotions out too. Yes you were upset but you hated seeing Mason like this. He was right, he’d had an awful time of it lately and whilst it didn’t give him permission to treat you how he had, you could see how he’d let it get to that point.

He pulled back gingerly and your heart broke as you looked down at his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, wanting nothing more than to kiss him but you held but you held back as you hadn’t quite reached that point yet.

‘You don’t have to answer right now. I know I’ve broken everything we had and it’ll take a while for you to trust me again but will you please come home? Cause it is your home, not just mine’ he told you quietly. ‘Or we can stay here tonight if you’re not ready yet. Or if you want me to go so you can think things through I will’ he added quietly but you knew knew you didn’t want to be without him now.

‘I’ll come back’ you whispered with a small nod but you both made no attempt to move for a little while as you just held each other together for a bit, eventually falling asleep as you were both tired from crying.

You weren’t sure how long you’d slept for, but when you woke up Mason was already looking at you, a soft smile on his lips as he stroked his fingers through your hair and you automatically shuffled into him a bit further.

‘You okay?’ He whispered, nodding into his neck as you squeezed him a little tighter.

‘What time is it?’

‘Nearly 11:30’ he confirmed, just then realising you’d been asleep for a lot longer than you thought so you started moving to get up.

‘We’ll start heading back if you want, I just need to grab a few things’ you told him and within the next five minutes you were walking out the door to his car.

‘Leave yours here I’ll come get it later’ he told you as he opened his for you and you agreed before getting in. Your hand was in his the whole way home and once inside he made you sit on the sofa whilst he made you some lunch. He looked a little unsure of himself when you were both done as you were still so quiet so you budged over further into him so he’d pull you into hug and you felt his whole body relax into your arms.

‘Y/n?’ He whispered after a minute or two and you looked up into his glossy before moving yourself so you could straddle his thighs and cup his jaw. ‘I really am sorry’

‘I know you are’ you reassured him, your heart hurting as the tears escaped his eyes when he shut them but you wiped them away before placing a soft kiss to the crease between his brows. As much as he’d hurt you, you could also see how much he was hurting himself and had been for a while. In the end the overwhelming need to apologise for your part in all of this took over. ‘I’m sorry too. For leaving and not saying anything earlier. I just thought if i said anything you’d break up with me so I thought it would be better to wait but I realise now it was silly’

‘You’ve got nothing to be sorry for’ he breathed ‘and no matter how bad things would of got the last thing is ever want is to be without you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your waist before you leaned forward to pull him into a hug.

It felt so good to be back in his hold and even though you had a lot more to talk about all you wanted was the feeling of his lips against yours so you carefully lent forward to bring him into a soft kiss.

How you’d resisted up until now you’d never know, but as he cupped you cheek and pulled you in closer you couldn’t of felt more at home. The kiss didn’t last long as you were both smiling but your heart burst when he pulled back and rubbed his nose against yours before leaving a gentle kiss on the tip.

‘I love you’ he whispered, tears welling in your eyes instantly but you were so thankful to hear those words again. A small giggle erupting from you before you gave him another quick peck.

‘I love you’ you whispered back, heart thudding as the gorgeous smile that crept over his face.

You spent the next hour or so opening up to each other more, lots of apologies and tears shared between you until you started to feel like yourself again and seeing the spark return to Masons eyes washed you of any bad feelings.

‘Can I ask? What did Freya say to you?’ You asked him softly and the embarrassed smile on his face told him it wasn’t anything good.

‘I basically got tag teamed by her and Woody. She said she’d put too much effort if to get us together for me to fuck it up like I was and Woody said I had a lot of cheek to do exactly I threatened him not to do and he hated seeing how upset you’d become when he saw you last’ he said quietly and you had to fight a small smile, knowing they were sticking up for you when you weren’t there. ‘I wanna ask you something but I feel like the timing is super bad and weird’ he laughed but you looked at him encouragingly, confused about what he would want to ask you but you also curious.

‘No, it’s okay. Just ask’

‘Would you move in with me?’ He asked quietly, taking down a nervous gulp and continuing before you had a chance to say anything. ‘Like properly. I know it’s probably the weirdest thing I could ask after everything thats happened but I’ve hated being here without you’ he admitted. ‘Like I hate the way the way you could so easily leave and I know it sounds weird and toxic as fuck but I want you here now more than ever. And I know you like your own space but I’ve had an idea’ he told you, an excited look in his eye and even though you were shocked at what he was saying you were willing to hear him out.

‘What is it?’

‘Well I was thinking we turn one of the guest rooms into your room? You know like I’ve got my office and stuff well I thought we could set you up something similar? We can decorate it however you want and it can be like your own little safe space for when I’m not here or I’ve pissed you off for the millionth time’ he teased and you could help but laugh.

‘Would you really give me a room?’

‘I’ll give you three if that’s what it takes’ he laughed and you smiled at him shyly. ‘I just thought it might help you know? You having your own space but we can still be together every night. I’m not gonna lie I’ve slept like shit this week without you’

‘I haven’t been sleeping that great either. Not for a while’ you confessed sadly but the feeling of his lips on your forehead made you smile as you snuggled into him more.

‘You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but I just want you to know I’m serious about you. About us, you know? And I’m sorry it took me fucking it all up to actually show you’

‘Better late than never’ you told him quietly before a calm silence took over the both of you.

The thought of moving in with him was properly was tempting, you already knew it could work as you’d been living together for a while and the prospect of not having to pay for a flat you didn’t use was a bonus. The fact he was also willing to let you have your own space here was appealing and after not much thought at all you were looking back into his soft brown eyes.

‘Mase?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I’ll move in’

‘Yeah?’ He laughed, kissing the bridge of your nose. ‘Really? Are you sure?’

‘I’m sure. Yeah I love my flat but I love being with you more and it’s too much of a tie to my old life. I’m ready for a new beginning with you’

‘I love you so much’ he whispered, pulling you in for a soft kiss that knocked the wind out of you. ‘You have my word that this or anything similar will ever happen again, okay? I promise you’

‘I know, I believe you’ you smiled before kissing him again. ‘And I love you too. So so much’ you told him, eyes raking over his tired face and you could see how exhausted he was immediately. The black bags under his eyes looked heavy and you could help but reach out to to stroke his face. ‘Are you sure you’re alright Mase?’

‘I’m fine. Just a bit tired that’s all’

‘You sure?’

‘Well I have a little headache actually’ he pouted, causing you to pout back in sympathy.

‘Oh baby’ you breathed, kissing in between his eyebrows softly but the slight shake of his head made you pull back.

‘It’s here actually’ he said with a smile, pointing to the left side of his forehead in hopes you’d kiss there too and you couldn’t deny him. Following his finger to every spot he said he had pain and it seemed to have traveled from his forehead all the way down his cheek until you’d made it to the corner of his mouth where he gave you a cheeky smirk. ‘You know where it hurts the most?’

‘Where’s that?’

‘Here’ he smiled, pointing his finger to his lips. ‘It’s really painful’

‘Oh you poor thing’ you you breathed, tilting his face up more so you had a better angle before gently pressing your lips to his.

There was no smiling this time, just the pair of you pouring yourselves into each other, letting the other one know you were okay and they you loved them before pulling away slightly breathless and you caught the sly smirk on his face.

‘What?’ You quizzed, watching him bite his lip to stifle a laugh but your question glance made him speak up.

‘If I told you my dick hurt would you kiss it too?’

‘Mason Mount’ you gasped, laughing as your body fell into his and he caged you against his chest whilst kissing the side of your head.

‘I’m joking I promise’ he smiled. ‘I’m just happy we’re back’

‘I’m happy too’ you beamed dropping a quick kiss to his nose to let him know you were as content as you said you were.

Tagged: @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mm-vii @footiehoemcfc @masonmount07

[spiralingemptyness]

Lin kuei hc

working on art but in the meantime take this

bi-han does care bout his sibling but doesn’t know how to show it

He would protect his siblings when he was younger as much as he could and continued to do so, he just lost touch with reality and most emotions

Bi han also went thru tougher training than the others cause his role and didn’t spend a lot of time around them

After Tomas’s family was killed, he fell into a heavy depressive state, he locked himself in a room and wouldn’t take care of himself 

Bi han and kuai liang both helped Tomas get back on his feet after his family was destroyed

Bi Han (and Kuai’s) mom taught him how to braid his hair and he often wore it in a braid until his mom died

Bi Han views Tomas as a brother but will never acknowledge it… man has a shit load of issues (let me be delusional)

Sareena is one of the only people who can  and will put bi han in his place and it’s funny to witness (this man afterwards isn’t even mad he’s just shocked)

Tomas and Kuai were pretty much inseparable growing up (it used to be the three of them but then training started so it dwindled down to two)

Tomas Chinese sucks, so they mostly conversed in English (only Kuai learned enough Czech to communicate with him)

Tomas can pick up both his brothers, this man has bicep muscles for fucking days (it absolutely confuses and scares both of them)

Post-betrayl Kuai would hardly sleep and when Tomas found out he would just chill with him until he fell asleep

Harumi is a childhood friend, I’m assuming they met during a long mission in Japan and kept in touch afterwards

First time Harumi met/saw (post-betrayal) Bi han she did not hesitate to threaten to cut his dick off, Bi han was shocked and Kuai fell more in love

Sibling trait shared between Bi han and Kuai, Taste in women: strong and powerful and can probably kick their ass. Taste in men: questionable (more so Bi han than Kuai)

Tomas has a more brutal killing style (just look at the fatalities) because he grew up trying to fit in and be enough for the Lin kuei

Only reason Tomas likes the Lin kuei is because of the kindness Kuai Liang (and a bit of Cyrax) showed him

Every time Tomas does smth that pisses Bi han off, bi han would reply with smth along the lines of “goddamn Europeans and their goddamn tea”

Both Madam Bo and Liu Kang helped train the Lin kuei brothers (and madam Bo become a parental figure)

If Tomas gets flustered of embarrassed smoke will just start appearing

Bi han has permanent frost bite on his skin, issues of being a cyromancer

tomas and kuai liang still hang out with the champion gang, still going to madam Bo’s tea shop

johnny still harasses Kuai about being in his movies, Kuai still turns him down

sektor is a huuuyuge tech and mechanics nerd, he’s good with computers, and can take things apart and put it back together without trying

i kinda feel like giving with gender fluid or non binary cyrax because in mk9-11 cyrax was a guy or robot and now cyrax is a women….. so fuck gender honestly

whenever they use their magic fucking power things (idfk what it’s called) they’re eyes change color, Bi Han’s turn blue, Kuai liang’s turn yellow/orange, and Tomas’s turn either darker grey/black or grey/yellow combo (I say that cause enenra and mkx stuff 🤷🤷🤷)

[madara-fate]

I've seen that whenever soembody mentions any rude or abusive thing sasuke does to sakura , you throw the logic that he was under the hatred which is fair enough , but is there a limit to it ? Like if instead of knocking her out with a harsh genjutsu , he kicked or punched her and then put her in a genjutsu , would you have still shipped them ? Like honestly asking is there a limit to it ? The reason why sasuke x Sakura is always hated upon is because it's a romantic bond , so murder attempts seem extra very distasteful , as for Naruto x sasuke , is that they are rivals and fight so it's fine for them for them or atleast seen in a better manner and also Naruto bond with sasuke was highlighted so people can see that despite those , he still cared about Naruto , but for Sakura there isn't nearly any strong moments .

Naruto went ballistic for hinata during the pain moment , sasuke never had 0.1% of protectiveness for Sakura .

Him leaving again for a decade gives people a bad experience, almost plays it as a joke , hey even kishi joked or laughed at the joke about how sasuke stays away from Sakura because she is a tough woman .

Now karin , you can admit they shared respect and comradery and sasuke the only murder attempt was just him trying to kill danzo , also their biting moments gave them a erotic tone , plus karin feels as strongly as for sasuke than Sakura . Kishi himself said it so their love was same . Sasuke treated karin way better , or respected her and smiled at her .

Imo if sasuke and karin did end up together or were the final couple , people would have taken it way better than sasuke x Sakura , cause karin just seemed to spend more time with and he smiled at her and also cared for her .

Sure ss fans would be upset , but they don't really make up the more than Naruto Stans .

Sasuke treated Sakura pretty awful and even you can't deny it .

I've seen that whenever soembody mentions any rude or abusive thing sasuke does to sakura , you throw the logic that he was under the hatred which is fair enough , but is there a limit to it ? Like if instead of knocking her out with a harsh genjutsu , he kicked or punched her and then put her in a genjutsu , would you have still shipped them ?

There is a limit to it, but the fact of the matter is that Sasuke didn't do those things that you suggested, so what's the point of even mentioning them? It's like you're saying that their relationship should be negatively judged for things that didn't even happen. What people really need to acknowledge, is that the Naruto universe very clearly does not follow the same standards of forgiveness found in reality, yet they're perfectly fine with accepting wholly unrealistic levels of forgiveness for certain things, while giving SS all kinds of shit for incorporating the exact same principles. It doesn't make sense.

The reason why sasuke x Sakura is always hated upon is because it's a romantic bond , so murder attempts seem extra very distasteful , as for Naruto x sasuke , is that they are rivals and fight so it's fine for them for them or atleast seen in a better manner

That makes no sense whatsoever. It does not matter whether the person is your best friend or a potential romantic interest; a murder attempt is a murder attempt, and attempting to kill your potential romantic interest is in no way, shape or form any worse, than attempting to kill your best friend. I'm sorry but I am so sick of hearing people say this nonsense, it's such a weak attempt to try and excuse or justify the plethora of mistreatment found in SNS in comparison to SS, and I'm not having it.

Furthermore, it's not even as if it's a 50/50 thing between SS and SNS. No, Sasuke treated Naruto far worse than he ever did to Sakura, and yet people constantly applaud him for not giving up on Sasuke. Yet, when Sakura also doesn't give up on Sasuke for the exact same reasons, she's instead hated on for apparently being shallow, selfish and all the rest of that typical bullshit.

and also Naruto bond with sasuke was highlighted so people can see that despite those , he still cared about Naruto , but for Sakura there isn't nearly any strong moments .

Just because Sasuke's bond with Naruto was highlighted in comparison to his bond with Sakura, that doesn't mean that his bond with Sakura wasn't highlighted at all. Sasuke literally named her as one of his two precious comrades. And you say there weren't any strong moments for SS? Please refamiliarise yourself with the manga, because I can very easily list plenty of examples.

Naruto went ballistic for hinata during the pain moment , sasuke never had 0.1% of protectiveness for Sakura .

Are you actually serious?

He protected her against Orochimaru

He went "ballistic" for her against the Sound ninja

He was fully willing to risk his life for her against Gaara by buying Naruto time to escape with her because he didn't want to lose someone "dear" to him ever again

He broke every bone in Shin's body while rescuing her

Do you want me to list the examples from the novels too? Goodness gracious.

Him leaving again for a decade gives people a bad experience, almost plays it as a joke , hey even kishi joked or laughed at the joke about how sasuke stays away from Sakura because she is a tough woman.

Firstly, Sasuke wasn't away for a decade. Secondly, so what if Kishi laughed at that during an interview? Literally so what?

Now karin , you can admit they shared respect and comradery and sasuke the only murder attempt was just him trying to kill danzo , also their biting moments gave them a erotic tone , plus karin feels as strongly as for sasuke than Sakura . Kishi himself said it so their love was same . Sasuke treated karin way better , or respected her and smiled at her .

You have to be trolling at this point.

You actually say Sasuke's murder attempt on Karin "was just him trying to kill danzo", which is just a horrible excuse. In case you don't remember, Sasuke literally said that since Karin allowed herself to get captured, she was useless to him:

So to you, that must mean that it was all about Danzo, correct? Unbelievable. Stop trying to justify all of Sasuke's horrible treatment of everyone other than Sakura, the bias here is crazy. This wasn't just Sasuke trying to kill Danzo, this was Sasuke killing two birds with one stone, because he deemed Karin to have become a burden.

To address your other points...

"also their biting moments gave them a erotic tone" - Are you really trying to use Karin's perviness to prove your point?

"plus karin feels as strongly as for sasuke than Sakura . Kishi himself said it so their love was same" - Kishi never said that. What he actually said, was that Sakura and Karin would be able to empathise and understand each other's feelings since they held affection for the same person. He never said that Karin's feelings for Sasuke were as strong or stronger than Sakura's were.

"Sasuke treated karin way better , or respected her and smiled at her" - Sasuke didn't treat Karin better, he didn't respect her any more than he respected Sakura, and not only did he also smile at Sakura, but he also described her as someone dear to him, was willing to sacrifice himself to ensure her survival, acknowledged her as one of his precious comrades, saw the shadow of his family within her and the rest of Team 7, gave her an actual heartfelt apology, and gave her his ultimate expression of affection which was the forehead poke. Now once Sasuke does even half of those things for Karin, then come back.

Imo if sasuke and karin did end up together or were the final couple , people would have taken it way better than sasuke x Sakura , cause karin just seemed to spend more time with and he smiled at her and also cared for her .

Cumulatively speaking, Sasuke actually spent more time with Team 7 than he did with Team Taka.

Sasuke also smiled at Sakura.

Sasuke also cared for Sakura.

So now what?

Sasuke treated Sakura pretty awful and even you can't deny it .

I've never denied that Sasuke treated Sakura poorly. But what you and so many others constantly ignore, is that he treated Naruto far worse, and yet you'll excuse that for bullshit reasons such as how their bond is platonic, as if that makes any difference. Not only that, but people will actually believe that Sasuke treated Karin better than Sakura, at which point I become certain that they literally just don't even have the faintest idea what on earth they're talking about.

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

Considering Abel died because of his brother's jealousy, he definitely would feel like bad about being shitty to Vaggie because her mother is genuinely cared for by Adam.

I feel like Abel is one of the few persons with whom Adam is fine talking of Vaggie as his daughter.

While Adam doesn't act as a father with her, he spend enough time with Lute, with or without sex, that he definitely see Vaggie every day.

So I can see Adam mention Vaggie casually whenever he talk to Abel, both because he know his son enough to know Abel honestly is interested in her despite trying not to, and because Adam, despite being who he is, actually like that she's his daughter and he think of her, simply, he doesn't talk of it with people who he know will be judgemental.

Abel would be judgemental, but he also would make sure not to show it, and also, Adam would definitely be genuinely dismissive of judgement from his son on such matters, and the fact that Abel's own dislike of Adam "cheating on Eve" mean that he wouldn't want Adam to step up for her mean that Adam know he's not gonna hear such things.

I can see Emily let slip that Vaggie was at the debate for the matter of redemption of hellbound sinners.

Especially because, again, he fully understands that Vaggie herself had absolutely no say in the circumstances of her birth, so he feels like feeling any kind of real anger towards her would just be needlessly cruel.

The fact that Adam sees Vaggie pretty much every day - even if he doesn't really acknowledge her most of the time until she's much older - does spark the tiniest bit of jealousy in Abel. Though he tempers it a bit by reminding himself that it's not that his father wants to see Vaggie more than he wants to see him. It really is a case of him either just seeing Lute at work, so wanting to visit her for "personal" reasons at home, and because Lute likes to usually keep Vaggie close to her, especially when she's out, that means Adam usually ends up seeing Vaggie as well.

Adam does talk to Abel about Vaggie sometimes, yeah. Though him telling Abel that Vaggie was his sister was something that just slipped completely by accident one day when they were talking. Probably shortly after Vaggie was born, since Abel, unable to help himself, would mention that he both hadn't seen Lute around much the past couple weeks, and his father had been around a bit more frequently than usual. And Adam not only talks about how Lute had a baby...but slips that the baby is his basically by just venting a little about how he's annoyed that he can't do anything fun with Lute for a bit because she both needs to recover and rest from the birth, and he knows the baby will be crying too often for them to get anything done; and while Abel is already feeling unsure of what to say, Adam just, without thinking, goes, "Would'a made sure I didn't knock her up if I knew this was gonna happen."

Emily letting it slip that Vaggie was there with Charlie was likely how Abel found out that Vaggie was still alive, since as far as he knew, she had been missing and at least presumed dead for years.

[crossdressingdeath]

Can I just... okay, there's something that's been percolating in my head ever since the Durgetash patch 6 crumbs dropped and I think I can finally put it into words. Because everyone was getting so mad about Durge (and it was about Durge, not Gortash; it was an origin character getting their backstory acknowledged in the game at a point where it should've been from the start, saying it was about Gortash is like saying... I don't know, any unique dialogue Cazador gets in Astarion origin runs is Cazador content) getting five or six new lines when Wyll got nothing and... well, personally I think that's a little silly, first because adding a few new Gortash lines to Durge runs would not be taking away from Wyll content (the two characters have different writers, VAs and mocap actors, for the most part they would not have been pulling from the same resource pool), but more importantly because... if you want to point at an origin character taking resources from Wyll, don't point at Durge. Point at Karlach.

I mean, think about it. Think about how the game runs with these two characters. You likely meet Wyll first unless you go out of your way to avoid speaking to him until you meet Karlach. He asks you to help him hunt down and kill a devil, and you go and you look and you find her and... now you're doing Karlach's quest. They interrupt Wyll's quest in the middle to do Karlach's quest. And she keeps piping up during the conversation with Mizora afterwards, and it turns out that Wyll got sent after Karlach to begin with because Karlach is Zariel's extra-special favourite mortal, and suddenly Wyll's sharing his post-quest transformation cutscene (something which I think we can all agree should be entirely about him) with a character who wasn't even playable until a ways into EA. You can't even properly commiserate with Wyll afterwards, you can only even be nice to him if you choose to read the lines that way; you spend more time chatting to Karlach about Wyll's transformation than you do Wyll! Wyll's act one quest gets almost completely taken over by Karlach, I'm honestly kind of surprised I haven't seen anyone else talking about it. Even him being turned into a devil is barely about him because Karlach's backstory is butting in! There is a reason why no other origins share villains, but where Karlach's connection to Gortash is overshadowed by Durge in a Durge run here she's overshadowing Wyll in every run except maybe (I say maybe because I haven't done it) a Wyll origin.

And it gets even better! Remember how originally you couldn't save Karlach at all? Remember when it was death or mind flayer? Remember what Larian did when people complained about that? I'm fucking amazed I didn't see more complaints about that, given the number of complaints I saw about Durgetash getting five whole lines. Do you want to keep Karlach alive? Do you want to end the game with all your companions still breathing and reasonably happy? Well then fuck what you think is a good, happy and/or narratively satisfying ending for Wyll; you're packing him off to the Hells, because that's the only way to keep Karlach alive if you don't want to go with her (which you probably don't if you romanced someone other than her)! Like, I want you to really let that sink in; they made Karlach's survival completely reliant on how you end Wyll's quest. If you want Karlach to survive and don't want your character's epilogue to be "go to the Hells" (which, again, odds are most players don't) you have to end Wyll's quest accordingly. They could've put that into Karlach's quest! Give her an actual character arc (instead of the line-with-maybe-a-slight-curve she got) where you can encourage her to choose life and go to Avernus on her own or... I don't know, go with Dammon or something! Especially since as it turns out Zariel apparently doesn't actually give a shit, which the PC should be able to point out given Zariel's track record in this game of giving barely enough of a shit to make a token effort at getting Karlach back or killing her! But instead the climax of Wyll's whole damn arc has to share space with Karlach. Maybe not in the game's text proper, but from a meta perspective? If the player doesn't want to go to the Hells but wants Karlach to live, that's likely going to be if not the deciding factor in Wyll's quest then certainly a major one in—as with the transformation cutscene—a situation that should be entirely about Wyll.

I don't really know how to end this. I guess... I fully admit part of it is me being super petty about the sheer number of posts I saw getting mad about Durgetash getting literally five or six lines (crumbs! Barely crumbs! Crumbs that didn't impact Wyll in any way!), but it also really is like... people complained about that but I haven't seen anyone complaining about how Larian warped Wyll's whole story around Karlach. And I think more people should complain about it. Wyll's story got dragged off-course the second they started rewriting it, but they wrapped the whole thing around Karlach when they made her an origin companion to the point where at times it feels like Wyll's playing second fiddle in his own arc, and that's... well, honestly it just pisses me off.

[morayoflight]

JADE BUTLER SIGN ME UP-

Okay but listen. It’s only a matter of time before reader and Jade start pinning for one another. But how would Jade react to some rando trying to court reader during a fancy party? Like trying to ask them to dance when they’re clearly not comfortable?

Ofc feel free to ignore this but thank you for reading :))

Hi anon! Thank you for requesting this! Somehow, I ended up writing an entire fic instead of just headcanons. I hope that's okay TvT

Butler!Jade reacts to someone trying to court the reader

*Gender-neutral terms for reader are used

Synopsis: You attend an acquaintance's party with Jade and someone happens to have their eye on you

Word Count: 1437

----

Jade may be your butler, but he also performs a multitude of roles for you-- one of them is being your chaperone to parties such as this. 

If you were allowed to be honest, you weren't excited about this party at all. It was something you had to attend out of courtesy, trying to keep up the family image, yada yada. 

So, you chose to loiter in corners with Jade instead. 

Jade, with that ever so pleasant smile of his, follows you everywhere like a dog leashed to his master. He would, from time to time, lean down and whisper to you the names and titles of the other lords and ladies who wished to extend their greetings. 

You couldn't care less about those people, so you never remembered them. Jade knew this day would come, so he took it upon himself to memorize basic information on every single person you've met in the parties you've attended in the past. 

Honestly, where would you be without him? 

Jade practically knew everyone in the room, and that is why his vision dimmed when he spotted a certain lord walking towards your direction 

"Ah, a wonderful evening, (Name)! It is a fancy meeting you here," the man says, taking your hand to place a kiss on top of it. You were laughing albeit nervously, trying to be polite, but Jade caught the way your body tensed up a bit. 

Oh, how badly he wanted to drag you away from this situation. Alas, he was just a mere butler and could not risk tarnishing your honor all because of a servant's misconduct. He does value his reputation only for your sake. 

Instead, his smile grew wider when the lord sent a nonchalant nod of acknowledgement to his direction. It was the kind of close-eyed smile he did whenever he was cooking up sinister plans in his head. 

The lord in question was none other than a bothersome man who has been relentlessly pursuing you ever since that one party weeks ago. 

He has sent you many things. From flowers, to lengthy romantic letters and lavish gifts, Jade has seen them all and he could not be more than happy enough to throw them out for you everytime you exhaled a big sigh and asked for them to be removed.

"Have you been standing here like a wallflower all this time? Have some fun! Here, why don't we dance?" the lord offers a hand to you, clearly expecting that you would indulge his invitation. 

Instead, you stared at his open palm, and fiddled with your own hands. 

"L-look, my lord, I am terribly sorry but I don't think I can--" 

"Nonsense! It has been so long since I last gazed upon you. You will grant me the honor of spending a fraction of your night with you, yes?" He completely cut your words off, grabbing your hand and prepared to drag you off to the dance floor. Now this was exactly your problem with this suitor, he is most assertive and inconsiderate.

Your head immediately spun to Jade, eyes screaming for help. 

How. dare. he. 

This abominable swine. 

This display of utter disrespect to his master set Jade's blood at boiling point that with one swift movement, he came between you and this poor excuse of a gentleman. 

Jade's gentle hands are on your shoulders, his back facing the man as he blocks you from eyesight with his tall stature. Looking back at the young lord, Jade smiles again. 

"I apologize, my lord. My master has been feeling unwell." 

The man raises an eyebrow suspiciously as he tries to peer at you past your butler. 

"They seemed fine to-" 

"My goodness! (Name), you are looking a bit flushed. Here, let me check your temperature," Jade exclaims, his voice laced with worry and concern, and maybe a bit of exaggerated dramatization. But it was enough to baffle the man who staggered back in confusion. 

Jade removes a glove and places his bare hand on your forehead, giving him an excuse to lean down and come closer to your ear. He starts whispering abruptly. 

"Pretend to faint. Now, if you will excuse me," 

Before you could even ask him what was going on, Jade discreetly trips your leg with his foot and you find yourself falling to his arms. Remembering what he'd whispered, you close your eyes shut and pray that your acting was just as good as your butler's. 

"(Name)! A-are they alright?" The man frantically shuffles closer, but Jade heaves you into his arms and faces the other direction before the young lord could even touch you. 

"They will be fine, my lord. Perhaps the party’s atmosphere is starting to weigh down on them. I truly do apologize, but I need to take my master home. I worry for their health, you see" Jade sighed, his eyebrows creased with pretend concern as he cradles you closer to his chest. 

The man coughs and straightens his back. 

"O-of course! I value their health too. Yes, do see to it that they are returned home safely. Then, I shall head back.”

Oh, how unreliable, Jade thought. This young lord could only pretend to be dignified but can do no good for his master. He did not even ask to come and escort them out. If he was so worried, he would at least want to send off the person he is so romantically interested in?

As expected of a failed, incompetent gentleman. 

Men who are shaken by the slightest of troubles do not deserve a place in his master's life or heart. They would not be able to protect such a precious existence.

“Ah, before I forget…” Jade starts, halting the lord’s receding steps.

He meets the man’s eyes with a cold, unfeeling stare. Jade’s heterochromatic irises tore through the young lord’s gaze. A predator assessing its prey, preparing to lunge. It was enough to send shivers down the latter’s spine.  

“My master possesses a kind and fragile heart, and I often find this to be a weakness but–”

Jade pauses, feeling a slight pinch in the middle of his stomach just where your hand rested. How fond, he thought, sending you a second-long loving gaze before fixating an even more hostile glare at the young lord. His soul must certainly be terrified now.

“Allow me to say this in their stead. They would very much prefer it if you kept your distance from them. No, in fact, this is my suggestion: please refrain from contacting my master for the rest of your life, for your sake.”

Satisfied with himself, Jade smiles and politely bids the stunned, trembling lord a good night. 

Indeed, it was always fun disposing of hindrances for his master.

It was not only until the coast was clear, and you had been placed safely inside the carriage did you crack one eyelid open. 

Jade  claps his hands, his smile a pleasant one. 

"Splendid acting, my lady/lord." 

You rolled your eyes and shifted in your seat. 

"Please, I merely pretended to faint. It was you who did all the work, so thank you, Jade." 

"I am humbled by your words," Jade places a hand to his chest, bowing his head slightly. 

But still, so much for a party. You wanted to wait for dessert and it was the entire reason why you stuck around for so long. How disappointing. 

Jade, ever so attentive, sensed your low spirits and cleared his throat to get your attention. 

"For tonight's dessert after dinner, we will have (favorite dessert)." 

It was exactly the thing you have been waiting for at the party. You stared at him in surprise and started laughing. 

"Ah, really. What will I do without such a competent butler? This is why I like you, Jade!" 

Your butler smiled, not hiding how pleased he is by your sentiment. 

"I like you too." 

"What?" Your laughter died in a split-second and you stared at Jade with your eyes too wide and mouth agape.

Jade snickered. Mischief glimmered in his eyes at the sight of his lovely master looking like a deer caught in headlights. He does enjoy teasing you once in a while. 

He certainly wasn't taking advantage of the fact that you were so forgiving and lenient towards him. 

"For being an easily pleased and easily flustered master, that is. Fufu. I do enjoy simple people." 

Heat traveled up from your neck to your ears. Out of embarrassment or anger, you didn't know. But you swore you looked as red as a tomato right now. 

"Jade!" 

But maybe, just maybe, your loyal butler meant every single word after all.

[footy-fictionist]

It's fame she's after - Julian Brandt ft. Kai Havertz

Pairing: Julian Brandt x female reader, (platonic) Kai Havertz x female reader

Warnings: Kai doesn't like reader (it'll turn out right though), rude comments, Julian gives a bit of an ultimatum, a bit of hurt, a bit of angst and a bit of fluff, Sophia is in here as well, badly translated German

Word count: 1681

Note: As always, English is not my first language. This one has been on my mind for a while. I thought it was a good idea and it turned out better than I thought. There is more interaction between the female reader and Kai, but she's in a relationship with Julian. Please do not publish and/or copy my work, reblogging is totally fine!

There are many things she loves about being Julian Brandts girlfriend. He’s thoughtful, kind, shows her he loves her multiple times a day and of course he’s incredibly handsome. She loves tracing the tattoos on his arm, adores spending time with his family and pulling pranks with his brothers. His friends love having her around and her friends love meeting up with Julian. But there is one friend of Jule’s that she doesn’t see eye to eye with at all. And unfortunately that happens to be Kai Havertz.

She met Kai for the first time during the World Cup. She and Julian hadn’t been dating long and because Kai lives in England, it was harder for him to meet up with them to meet her. She met Sophia in the stands and they hit it off immediately. She met Kai after the first match, the one they lost against Japan. Julian walked up to her first and she immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He hadn’t played but was still quite upset. Kai had come up behind Jule and he passed them to get to Sophia. He had given her a look she didn’t appreciate a lot, but she brushed it off as him being upset with the game.

But when Jule introduced her, Kai barely even acknowledged her. He gave her one look and then went back to talking to other people. She had looked to Julian, who was just as surprised as she was. Julian went to talk to Kai about it whilst she went to stand with Sophia who didn’t understand her boyfriend’s behaviour either. It didn’t get much better after that. Anytime they were in the same room, she tried to talk to Kai. To get to know him or to see if there was anything she could do to get him to like her. She mostly did it for Julian, she hated the way he looked so defeated when she and Kai ended up in another argument. It just seems that Kai didn’t see the look on his best friend’s face or he didn’t care enough.

She doesn’t like Kai much, she thinks he is arrogant and egotistical for the way he is acting and that seeing them not getting along, is hurting Julian more than he wants to admit. She would honestly do anything for Julian and to see his best friend not even acknowledging the fact that this is hurting Julian, pisses her off. But when Jule tells her Kai is coming over that weekend, she holds back a groan. She makes the promise to herself that she’ll try one more time to get Kai to like her and then she’ll give up. She goes as far as to ask Sophia what Kai’s favourite meal is and which recipe Sophia uses to make it for him.

So when Kai and Sophia arrive, she’s working away in the kitchen. She goes to greet them, giving Sophia a hug and as she moves to Kai all he does is hold out his hand, not even looking at her. She shakes it softly, before moving back to the kitchen. Sophia follows her to help out, but she just makes Sophia sit down with a glass of wine and they talk. She asks Sophia if there is anything she did to make Kai not like her (like she does every time), but even Sophia doesn’t know what’s bothering Kai about her so much. She decides to give up on asking and finishes the food. They set the table and Sophia calls in the boys. Kai is the first one downstairs.

“Wow, this looks great Soof. How did you make it so fast?” “I didn’t Kai. I gave her the recipe a few days ago, she made it.” “Yeah right.”

Kai gives her a glance before sitting down. Julian walks in a little later and presses a kiss to his girlfriend's cheek. “Thank you for making dinner, liebe.”

When everyone sits down, they all plate some food before eating. What no one is expecting is for Kai to spit his food back onto his plate. “Well it’s clear you didn’t make it Soof. It doesn’t taste good at all.”

That was the last drop. She can’t help the little sob that leaves her lips before she quickly stands up and practically runs up the stairs. She runs all the way to the bathroom before locking herself in. She doesn’t hear the argument that’s going on downstairs over her own sobs.

“Was stimmt nicht mit dir?! Why would you say that? It tastes good. Why can’t you just accept her as my girlfriend? She’s tried everything to get you to like her and you just ignore her the whole time. Ich liebe sie so sehr. Why can’t you see that?!” Julian goes after her as Kai looks down.

Whilst Julian runs up the stairs, Kai turns to Sophia, only to find her looking at him in utter disappointment. “Was?” “She is doing everything to get you to like her. Why are you being like this? This isn’t you.”

“I just don’t want her to hurt Julian. She is clearly after his money. Why else would she choose to go public with him during the World Cup. If it’s not money, it’s fame she’s after.” Sophia heaves a big sigh.

“How do you have such a big board in front of your face? She didn’t want them to go public at the World Cup. Julian wanted to introduce her to you, but there wasn’t another time other than the world cup. Can’t you see the way they look at each other?! Bist du so blind?”

Sophia went to get another glass of wine as Kai thought over her words. He never thought of it that way. He always assumed she was the one that wanted to go public at the World Cup. He didn’t think she came with Julian just to meet him. He has to make this right. He moves to the stairs and he can hear Julian knocking on a door. He hears as Julian tries to get his girlfriend to open the door for him. He hears the sobs and the strangled ‘no’s’ that come from the other side of the door. When Julian spots Kai he gives an irritated sigh.

“Was machst du hier? Haven’t you done enough?”

“I have to make it right, Jule. Let me try, please?” It was more of a rhetorical question than an actual one, but Julian agrees with a little hesitance. Julian moves to get past Kai, but stops when he’s next to him. “If you screw this up even more, you better stay in London. I really love her Kai. Stop hurting the girl I love or our friendship is over.”

Kai gulps, but nods his head at Julian. Julian walks down the stairs whilst shaking his head. Once Julian is downstairs Kai turns to the door. He heaves a sigh and knocks on the bathroom door.

“Geh weg, Julian."

“I’m not Julian.”

He hears as she gasps a little when she hears his voice. He hears the door click and he opens it slowly. He sees her sitting against the bathtub, eyes red and tears streaming down her face. He moves to sit across from her. She doesn’t look at him as he sits, she rubs the sleeves of her shirt along her cheeks. He analyzes the way she’s sitting, but doesn’t make a move to say anything yet. Then he sees her fiddle with a J necklace. If she’s wearing that, there is no way she’s with him for fame or money.

“Es tut mir leid.” She looks up when he apologizes. “I thought you were in it for fame or money. I thought I was looking out for my best friend. I thought you were just gonna hurt him and I was wrong. I see now that you really love him. I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you by brushing you off. And the dinner you made is actually amazing, probably even better than Soofs. But please don’t tell her I said that.” They both laugh. “Friends?”

She looks at the hand he’s offering. “I forgive you, so yes. Friends.” He stands up and helps her off the floor as well. He opens his arms, giving her the option for a hug if she wants to. She smiles and hugs him. “I wouldn’t have let Julian end your friendship Kai. You two are platonic soulmates, I’d never want to be the cause of Bravertz breaking up.” That makes both of them laugh. He gives her another hug. They joke together as they walk downstairs, finally able to find the things they have in common. They see Julian on the couch with his head in his hands, with Sophia rubbing his back, when they finally notice the footsteps on the stairs and the laughter.

Julian looks up surprised as he sees them laughing together. He gets up as they walk into the living room. She sees the nervous look on his face and immediately moves to wrap her arms around his waist. His arms go around her shoulders and he looks up at Kai, who gives him a smile and a nod. Julian tightens his arms around her, pressing a few kisses to the top of her head. When she pulls away, she presses a kiss to Julian’s lips.

“Let me reheat the food and we can all eat.” “I’ll help.”

Julian’s and Sophia’s eyes almost pop out when Kai offers his help. As they move to the kitchen with the food, Julian and Sophia look at each other bewildered. How did their dynamic change that fast? Not that they’re complaining. It’s just a bit odd. It’s safe to say the rest of the evening went great. And after that night as well. They went on couple dates and Julian finally got to be more affectionate with his girlfriend without Kai acting all disgusted and glaring daggers. And her friendship with Kai? It only blossomed.

Liebe: love Was stimmt nicht mit dir?: What is wrong with you? Ich liebe sie so sehr: I love her so much Was?: What? Bist du so blind?: Are you that blind? Was machst du hier?: What are you doing here? Geh weg: Go away Es tut mir leid: I am sorry

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Out of Jake, Marc and Steven, who do you like best and why?

MCU or comics?

I'm going to long windedly tell you that I actually have a really hard time answering this question because I love them all and it's impossible for me to pick a favorite and then I'm going to try to pick a favorite.

HERE WE GO.

In MCU it's an unfair question because we don't have all the pieces. Literally. We spend a large portion of the time meeting up with the Sass King Steven Grant and following his point of view, which is integral to understanding the story and finding Marc at the same time Steven does. And because Oscar Isaac is amazing, Steven is impossible to hate.

When we meet Marc, we see a broken man that hates himself and who we and Steven don't understand. (Those of us that came in from the comics knew Marc better and knew what to look for and loved him from the start). But then we take a break from Steven and we see Marc and he's a broken dumpster fire and he's awkward and loving. (Thank you Layla for helping to introduce us to Marc in a point of view that wasn't Steven's and allowing us to see him through a lens of love).

And it's easy to point at Marc and dismiss him and write him off as grumpy or not interesting. But Marc is a precious cinnamon roll that deserves love and attention.

We get five minutes tops with Jake Lockley and that's not enough to form an opinion or proper understanding of where they want to take his character. (Season 2 I'm looking at you with the sort of longing you read about in classic poetry).

I literally cannot pick a favorite in MCU. There isn't enough there to say this trait is superior in my personal books to favor. I love Steven's energy and sass and love starved eagerness to be acknowledged and seen. I love Marc's awkward ability to stand there like the kind of idiot that deserves to be given hot cocoa and tucked into bed for trying too hard with a kiss on the forehead.

Now Comics?! Oh boy comics.

I found it hardest to connect to Steven in the comics on my first reading of them. There was a distinct effort to forget Steven in later runs and he got either mishandled or written out all together. No one knew what to do with him after Moench and I can understand that they didn't know what to do with a smart rich philanthropist that wanted to sit around reading the paper and helping out local charity drives. This was a superhero comic, after all.

But Steven is really undervalued by many of the writers. Honestly, it wasn't till Lemire and Smallwood that I suddenly looked at Steven with new eyes and realized that he was more than the cowardly peace lover that just wanted to live rich and in comfort. Going back through Moench this past year I have found a new connection and appreciation for Steven Grant.

Marc Spector? He was my first favorite. He's an idiot that gets things done by punching it as hard as he can. He can't block or duck to save his life and he has a short fuse that's always going off. He's the epitome of dumpster fire that just keeps making the problem worse. He dug till the shovel broke then he went out and rented a backhoe.

But Marc Spector has heart. He's goofy. He's got a wicked sense of humor that makes me laugh. He stands his ground with Spider-Man and Deadpool.

He also respects the characters that get forgotten or made fun of. He helps others with mental health issues. He understands what it means to struggle and he makes it his duty to try. Even when he's being written wrong, you still get a sense of a man that genuinely wants to do better for himself and those around him, but he just is so BAD at it.

Then you have Jake Lockley, man of the people. A goofy softy that just wants to care about those around him and keep them safe. Trouble maker and officially the heart and soul of the system.

New York Cabbie attitude and Jewish humor make for a care free attitude and a sharp wit.

How can I pick a favorite? They each bring something amazing and unique to the table and I love them all for different reasons. And in different times in my life I have understood one or the other a little better.

At this particular time in my life? It's...complicated... For various reasons, I have found myself being able to understand Marc better and to understand his point of view. And maybe that's why I gravitate a little more towards Jake when it comes to a character that I want to see more of.

So do I have a favorite of the three? I try not to pick favorites out of them because I love them all. ....We just won't look at my saved images....

[sentientgopro]

Coming up on 3 months since cracking. It's still, like, a week away, but honestly, close enough and I wanna write this post now. Not much is gonna change in that time anyway.

The main thing I wanna note is like, the SIGNIFICANT mental changes. There is a name. I have never uttered that name out loud. Noone knows the name IRL. Noone has used that name for me online. Nothing.

...But If I, just quickly, imagine someone calling my name, or getting my attention, that's the name they're saying. If I quickly imagine someone referring to me in third person, I'm she.

And I think of these same things with my current name and it just doesn't quite feel right, or the same anymore.

People always talk about the infamous "I'm a girl" dreams. and I've started getting, like, 3 a week? Or atleast 3 where I'm, to some extent, trans. Like, even if I wasn't quite a girl yet, I had a dream that included picking up an estrogen prescription.

And all this, after 3 months, while deep closeted and unable to do anything about transitioning.

And, for my own sanity, I've had to find things to appreciate during this time. I can't spend the next year and a half avoiding acknowledging myself and what I look like. So I've atleast started to appreciate the little things. If I look closely at my eyes and ignore the rest of my face, I feel happy. idk, there's just something about my eyes in isolation that feel different to the rest of my face somehow, idk what it is but they feel more feminine, if that makes any sense.

And then there's my hair. Look, I have really short hair. Pretty average hair length for a guy. But my parents have been incredibly militant with keeping my hair very short for, well, as long as I can remember, until recently when my Dad abruptly asked if I wanted to grow it out (unbelievably convenient, he's transphobic and hss no idea about me. We take those I guess?)

But now, even the slightest bit longer hair feels great to me. Those little bits that grow down infront of your ears? Love it. Never had that be that long before. My hair ain't much, but its alot to me. And its only gonna get longer and longer, better and better.

And, look, this one sounds weird, but thighs. The way the fat squishes and flattens out when I sit down. I am a very skinny person, to the extent that my thighs are probably the fattest part of me relative to the body part. They aren't that thick, but relative to the rest of my body, it's enough to make me really happy. One time I was reading something about a lil deep-closet trick of wearing a long shirt and a shorter/ rolled up hoodie, and I kinda like it. Doing that, while sat down causing my thighs to squish slightly just looks so right.

(I was strongly debating whether to actually include this section. I doubt this would ever be the case, but just in case, don't be weird about it?)

I'm not gonna keep commenting on dysphoria increasing. I've kinda figured that's just par for the course. My general mood has decreased, I just don't feel good, but I'm not actually in that bad of a place mentally. I'm feeling optimistic, a solution to my problems is out there and I am gonna make it. It's already been a quarter of a year since cracking, that's no small amount of time relative to how long I have to wait. No matter how much I feel like shit about not being able to transition yet, it's better than when I didn't know what the problem was and thought I would just find myself ending it at some point. Now I know that isn't happening.

With each day, each little daydream, every time I imagine a scenario where I'm me, I get closer to actually being me. Physical is just a wait, but mental is a gradual process that is already well underway.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

More than whether he has a girlfriend or not, JK's persistence in feeding his y/n's delusions is annoying. And then he wonders why his fans are so crazy and stalkery. If you leave your gate open and house unlocked, I won't be able to act like it's not partially your fault when you get robbed blind. So if you spend all your time making statements like ARMYs are my girlfriends and ohh I have no time for one, and then your fans stalk you to the gym, or spend their hours trying to look into your house - I don't want to victim blame but maybe JK should take some responsibility too especially since he's obviously benefiting in other ways which is why he keeps doing this.

I'm glad Jimin grew out of this phase - he always set boundaries but he used to be a bit more lenient indulging this sort of behaviour in the past. Nowadays he almost always (sweetly) shuts y/n's down and even shipping-wise, he treats all the members pretty similarly - not that that helps much but still. JK with his y/n's and Tae with his shippers - they should really tone it down.

- I doubt JK is lying but all he said is that he doesn't have a girlfriend. He didn't confirm or deny the video. Chances are she's just a hookup and today's remarks will be enough to kill this whole discourse. Plus he posted a new Tiktok so that'll be a good distraction too.

Well it stemmed from a pretty gross violation of privacy so it's just as well I guess.

Tae should take some notes honestly. Him staying mum during the photo leaks, the whole following and unfollowing Jennie ig debacle and the (in my opinion) botched soft launch of their relationship in Paris - that was one L after another.

---

No, he didn't say it wasn't him in the video. And there are more photos of him inside his apartment, from the same angle of the video. I only saw one where he's cooking and it's literally the same kitchen, same trashbins and all. I'm pretty sure it is him in that video.

I also never said that was his girlfriend, just a girl he was having sex with, so this changes nothing for me because my question was "is it Jungkook in that video?" no "does Jungkook have a girlfriend right now?" There is a difference.

Besides, he said he's not going to sue them - why couldn't he have clarified that it's not him in the video in the same sentence? Just saying that someone was spreading lies about him, or spreading false footage claiming it's him would've been fine. He confirmed tho that there's something that could be sued, he's just not going to. He also said he doesn't have a girlfriend right now because he wants to work. But back then when the video was allegedly filmed he wasn't working, so.

Not to mention everyone -shippers included- saying "he should sue those stalkers" like girlssss I thought that wasn't him being stalked? JSKSJD but well. That's about the fandom and not really about him.

I can't with jikookers tho, because some others are saying "well, he's not going to admit to having a girlfriend" and they're right. Jikookers have spent two years calling Jimin and Jungkook liars but now they're trying to act like the bigger person acting like they're offended at people calling him opportunistic and an editor of the truth. Like they don't do that themselves everytime their imagination of jikook doesn't fit reality.

For the record, I actually believe they would deny a girlfriend even if they had one. I said that months and months ago, that they would deny a relationship if it was the best thing to do because they're putting their careers first. ESPECIALLY Jungkook now, who's so desperate for fame. He'd literally be the first to deny a girlfriend the most vehemently even if he had one.

Not to mention it was the wrong place and time to say "actually yeah I have a girlfriend". Like I'm going to need people to be real.

The women who date people like them know that. They know they're not going to be acknowledged publicly. Chen was it? From exo. He's not even as famous as BTS and he never admitted to having a girlfriend, even though a lot of his fans already knew about it. He only came through when he had to get married, and that's what most do. So, if idols who are far less popular than BTS are keeping their romantic lives private, do army really think BTS -who have way more to lose- wouldn't do the same?????

As fun as gossip is and sometimes you just want to watch the world burn, I also don't really believe that they should admit to relationships. Part of me thinks that in case of taennie for example, all those photos were leaked and they've been seen together, they should've acknowledged it out of respect. On the other hand, they don't really owe anyone an explanation.

There's stuff that bothers me on a personal level, like once Harry Styles said he's never had a public relationship, when in fact everyone in the world who's interested could make a timeline of every single relationship he's ever had in his life because of how public he was about it. But... the thing is he was seen in public with his girlfriends but he never acknowledged them to the public. He doesn't get asked about them in interviews, fans don't ask him about it either. He doesn't even speak to the fans outside of his concerts. He definitely never brings up his girlfriends on conversations either. He doesn't show up to events with them.

So that bothered me a lot when he said that because it's very gaslight-y imo. Like, dude... we've seen it all. We've seen you with them. And the thing about taennie is pathetic to me in a similar fashion because we've also seen it and everybody pretends it doesn't exist. And the thing about following her on Instagram and victimizing himself like the app had done something wrong to him. That was so shitty. One thing Taehyung does have in his favor is that at least he never really denied it either.

In conclusion, I'm just a girl and human and sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and there's a lot of lingering frustration about not knowing everything. At the same time, logically and empathetically, I understand that people are under no obligation to disclose personal information.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Jealousy Jealousy ~ KTH [Request]

⤜WORD COUNT: 2.1K

⤜PAIRING: Taehyung x Fem!Reader

⤜GENRE: angst, insecure moments, mentions of feeling insecure/not good enough and ovethinking, fighting between a couple, make up, sweet/fluffy ending, 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - June 2022

⤜MASTERLIST

It hadn't even been more than a 25-second interaction between the pair and yet it was enough to make you feel sick. It was nothing but a small, innocent interaction that had happened on screen but all of that had changed when you went online. Now here you were, pacing around your hotel room like an idiot. Overthinking every little detail about what you had just seen on the screen between your boyfriend and Oliva. Not only had you seen what had happened but so had every single person that was watching the Grammys. News articles were already spinning stories about the two of them dating, flirting and how people shipped them together. Twitter had been flooded with fan edits of the two celebrities together, talking about how this was HYBE's way of confirming a relationship. Your eyes had wandered so much that you ended up turning off your phone. You wanted to throw it across the room after reading all of the comments about how Oliva was so perfect for Taehyung. How perfect that they would be together when she's so new in the scene and beautiful.

Each compliment to you only made you compare yourself to her, listing everything that was perfect with her while listing everything wrong with yourself. You had never felt good enough for Taehyung and this whole interchange all but confirmed that people loved him with a famous woman. That he belonged with someone that was on his level.

There was a fire building inside of you as you thought about him being someone else, you never got jealous before and you hated that you were getting jealous right now. You were so sick of yourself, always being insecure and comparing yourself to other people. You thought you were finally getting over that point until this happened until the flirting on the screen where all could see.

You knew that Taehyung was your boyfriend but that didn't stop the insecure way you were feeling as you imagined him flirting with someone else. Someone that was more on his level than you were, someone that understood his lifestyle and would be able to understand the long times away and be okay with him constantly being busy.

Your stomach was twisted and knotted and you felt as though you were about to throw up. Ever since the screen showed you hadn't been able to settle down, all of your skin was hot and clammy and you'd been in and out of the bathroom trying not to be sick. Maybe it was an over-exaggeration but you couldn't help it, nothing felt real anymore and you honestly had no idea what you were even doing in the hotel room in the first place. 

Tae had invited you along but you were going to be sat in the hotel room the whole time, you wouldn't be able to go out sightseeing with them and you weren't allowed to the show. What had been the point? Maybe he wanted to show off that he could do whatever he wanted while you were forced to stay behind the sidelines but that wasn't Taehyung. He'd invited you because he wanted to spend time with you...Only ever since you landed two nights ago he'd only ever seen you asleep or in the mornings for a quick two-minute hello. You'd tried to stay awake at night so that you could see him but you'd always end up passing out on the bed or on the sofa.

This morning Taehyung had told you that the performance was going to be something to remember but he hadn't told you that he'd be flirting with someone on screen.

Someone that wasn't you.

That was the only thought that was running rapidly through your mind. That the person he had been so obviously flirting with wasn't you...

It would never be you and the longer you sat in the hotel room waiting for him to get back the more you began to acknowledge that. You'd thought about it before but now it was a bigger deal to you.

It was never going to be you, you were never going to be the girl by his side during award shows or on days out because you weren't famous. You weren't some fabulous musician or a sexy model. You were just you.

Someone who had two jobs and had to take off a whole week of sick pay to be able to come to the Grammys with Taehyung, someone who had paid for their own ticket because you didn't want handouts. This was what it was always going to be like, wasn't it?

You were always going to be the one in the shadows, never allowed to show off your relationship while he was free to flirt on national television and with the whole world. 

The door to your room cracked open, Taehyung was doing what he could to be quiet since he knew it was late and you were more than likely going to be asleep. But when he entered and all of the lights were on, he frowned and glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was almost two in the morning, there was no way you were awake right now, you were normally passed out asleep. Maybe you'd fallen asleep with the lights on but the further he walked into the room the more he realised it wasn't true.

"Babe?" He questioned when he saw you sitting on the edge of the bed, your eyes glued onto the news report on the screen, it was once again talking about Oliva and Taehyung. You had no idea how long you'd been sitting here staring at the TV on the wall but you were crying, you'd barely even noticed the tears.

"What happened?" He sounded panicked as he dropped to his knees at the foot of the bed, turning to look up at you but you just turned off the TV and ignored him. Slowly getting up from the sofa and looking around for your bag,

"Yn..." He trailed off when he noticed you grabbing some of your clothes from the wardrobe. You swallowed the lump that was in your throat but it was so dry you could barely speak,

"Is Jimin back? I think I'm going to stay in his room for the night," Taehyung's heart began to speed up at the mention of his bandmate's room. You'd put a lot of thought into it while you'd been waiting for Taehyung to come back. At first, you were just going to talk it out but when he ended up going to the after-party and was spotted with Oliva again you knew you weren't going to be able to stay in the same room as him for the night.

"What's going on? Talk to me." He begged, not giving you an answer on Jimin since Jimin had gone back to his room the second the Grammys had ended. There was no way he was going to let you stay with anyone that wasn't him.

"The way you talked to me...About what was going to happen tonight?" You didn't mean to snap as harshly as you did but your bloodshot eyes met Taehyung's and he frowned at you, 

"What are you talking- Oh..." He knew you'd been watching the show but the interaction between him and Oliva had been planned for Namjoon up until the last second when they changed it up a little.

"Yn." He said sternly but you shook your head at him, throwing clothes into a backpack. You could always come back for the rest of your stuff in the morning before your flight back home.

"No, it's fine. If you want to flirt with someone on national TV you go right ahead and do it." You tried to come across as though it wasn't killing you on the inside, except it was. Every time you'd tried to sleep that night all you could picture was the two of them together. Laughing and joking, getting closer with one another during the after-party, your mind wouldn't shut off.

"Yn I wasn't flirting," He told you as he stared directly at you, he wanted you to know the truth about that night. 

"Really? Because it certainly looked as though you were flirting with one another." Your eyes were tearing up once again and your voice trembled as you finally stared into the eyes of your boyfriend for the first time since he'd gotten back.

"Do you really think that little of me?" His voice was weak and he stared at you with hopeful eyes. He hoped you weren't going to say yes in answer to that. That you were going to realise how stupid all of this was and just come into his arms where he'd been wanting you all night long.

"The actions speak for themselves don't they." The air suddenly turned thick and muggy as you stared back at one another in silence.

"You can't keep doing this every time I'm spotted with someone that isn't you." You knew that but it didn't mean you couldn't get upset when you saw him with someone else, you were jealous. You'd seen him get jealous plenty of times before whenever someone would flirt with you at work.

"There is nothing going on between us, it was supposed to be Namjoon sitting with her but everyone changed the plan at the last second. If I knew it was going to be me, I would have said something." He explained but you were too busy trying to find something to take to Jimin's room, as well as your toothbrush,

"Are you even listening to me?" He snapped out angrily before you began sniffling and crying into your hands, hiding your face in them as you cried. Taehyung's whole body tensed up, he was pissed that you would accuse him of flirting with someone else but he wasn't going to be a dick when you were clearly upset. 

"Yn," He whispered wrapping his arms around you from behind, putting his head in the crook of your neck as he kissed the soft space softly. You sniffled a little before shaking your head, 

"I can't, Taehyung. I can't keep doing this." You whispered trying to get out of his arms but he tightened his grip around your midsection, keeping you pressed against him, 

"What more do you want?!"

"I want my boyfriend to t-tell me that he was going to an afterparty with someone he flirted with...I-I want him to tell me that...That it's not what it looked like. That...T-That..." You began breathing heavily as you shook your head,

"It's exhausting being constantly insecure about every little thing that I do! That I-I'm constantly upset that I'm not good enough for you because I'm not some famous fucking singer!" You moved out of his arms as you raised your voice, 

"I'm so fucking tired of having to hide our love!" You yelled out as he stared back at you in silence. You shook your head before looking down at the floor.

"Give me a reason to fall out of love with you, please..." He stared at you as you pleaded with him, something he would never ever do. He knew that hiding what the two of you had was going to take a toll on you eventually but he hadn't thought it would happen so soon.

"No." He answers plainly as he reached his hand out to take yours, you stared at him and let out a small whimper.

"T-Taehyung."

"Ever since I met you, you have been the love of my life. I don't care if you're not famous or a model. I don't care if you work two jobs or none. You're the love of my fucking life and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you remember that...Remember how beautiful you are, how amazing I find you," He stepped closer, complimenting you over and over again as he pressed a kiss to your neck, cheeks and lips. 

"I love you. I wasn't flirting, I would never flirt with anyone that isn't you." He reassured you, running his hand over your cheek before letting out a small sigh in relief when you relaxed against his touch.

"I'm sorry I got so-"

"Jealous?"

"I was going to say insecure but yes...Also jealous," You whispered as he began to lead you over to the bed, laying you down in front of him so that he would be able to spoon you. 

"I'm sorry for yelling," You both said at the same time before snuggling into one another.

It was silent for a few minutes before Taehyung pressed his lips just below your ear, 

"For the record," He whispered, 

"I was telling her how she should help Namjoon get his driving license." He finished before you began giggling in his arms.

tagline:  @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @agustdjoon @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @kookiekuu​ @lolalee24​ @hopeworldd-2​ @totallynoanalien​ @yubinism​ @ethereallino​ @heyjiminnie​ @aerastus​ @tinyoonsblog​ @cherrybubblesandvodka​ @kimahnjung98​ @halesandy​ @snigdha-14

[grimalkinmessor]

@drfurter IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE (ÒwÓ)

Now I've gone on about this particular headcanon in my original Light HCs post, and I've also snuck it into a few lines in Cosmic Entities, but YES I see Light as a SAS (sexual assault survivor). I don't usually have a specific traumatic situation (my Omega Light fic not withstanding—uuhh spoilers?) for this hc, I just see it as something that happens to Light a lot. Like,,,casually. Shit like people grabbing his ass or kissing him or groping him without permission. And because of how Japan is about masculinity (think Aizawa casually getting abused by his wife + Soichiro's rigid societal views) Light gets told to take all the touching and inappropriate comments as a compliment.

Light has the same thought process as those guys that 'bagged' older women in their teens, in that they see it as something to brag about and not something that was wrong, except Light is far more annoyed by it than proud of it. But other than that, he's very much internalized it as Not A Big Deal. Light is attractive, so people want to touch him. This is normal. (It isn't.)

I mentioned this in the first post, but the only thing that Light could've actually taken to the police and pressed charges for would've been the reason I headcanon that he learned how to code and hack: someone took inappropriate pictures of him in the locker room and posted them online. But of course, Light does NOT go to the police for this, because it's humiliating and he doesn't want his dad to see those pictures, nor any of the detectives and officers Light intends to work with someday, so Light finds a book on coding and hacking and spends three hours learning how to destroy an entire website and every record or backup of everything that was on it :D Then he blackmails the picture-taker into forking over the rest of the picture copies before getting him expelled for something decidedly unrelated to Light—can't have that being linked back to him, now can he?

This is also when I think Light takes in the idea that he is, perhaps, too good of an actor. He either needs to be meaner, or he needs to be someone so intimidatingly perfect that he's practically unapproachable. So that no one would dare try something like that again. Light chooses the latter, but makes use of the former afterward when people get a bit too persistent. An underhanded comment and a sharp smile becomes enough to ward even the most endeared/lustful admirers away.

BUT this is ALSO where Light learns that the opposite—a flirty smile, a deliberate touch to the arm—will soften people to him. They'll let him get away with anything if they think they have a chance with him, but because he instigated that 'first' romantic overture they will expect him to pursue. But they will not pursue him physically. Leaving him to use his looks for his own ends instead of being used for others'.

Of course, this course of action also comes with a few people that try to push themselves on him physically, but at that point he's learned that he can be vicious with those few remaining assholes. After all, who are they going to tell? Are they going to admit to trying to molest Light Yagami, the most adored boy on campus? The smartest kid in school on his way to greatness? No one would take their side.

By the time canon rolls around, the majority of the inappropriate touching has probably stopped. Sometimes he deals with someone handsy on the train or a catcall or something, but that's it. (That's it I say ajsvakdbskd).

The reason that Light doesn't seem to have any bias towards perpetrators of sexual assault as Kira is because he,,,,honestly doesn't have any. Sure, he holds a contempt for rapists and molesters, but it's only slightly higher than the contempt he holds for other criminals—the same way anyone else probably has more contempt for sexual crimes than other crimes. He doesn't see himself as any sort of victim, and he doesn't consciously acknowledge any of the things that have been done to him as assault. Those were just normal, irritating day-to-day occurrences that he assumes everyone deals with, like getting a flat tire or losing your keys. And you wouldn't hold a grudge against a door for not opening when you don't have your key, or a car for not working when you've forgotten to change the oil in it. Light sees it a lot like that—at one point those annoyances were more frequent because he didn't have the right tools to fix them, but now he does :')

Of course, his tools don't really work against Misa, who has a Shinigami willing to kill for her if Light doesn't agree to date her, or L, who has enough power and money to run a medium-sized country.

[icypantherwrites]

So I received this absolute gem of a comment today. /s Ironically enough, contrary to this "person's" writing, they did in fact seek out this story (given that its been finished for several months and is quite far down on my profile at this point) and they did in fact spend the time to read a 50,000 word story given that they opted to leave this hateful, vitriol spewed comment on the final chapter. Not sure how that's actively avoiding but take a look for yourself. The comment has already been deleted as trying to respond or reason with people like this is a waste of my energy and sanity.

I'm going to go ahead and give a quick analogy to this situation that maybe a few more people can identify with rather than just fellow creators so you can see how hurtful words like this are. Someone (the author) throws a party. For the sake of structure we're going to call it an open house party where people can come and go as they please without any set activities or timelines. A person (this commenter) arrives to the party. They don't bring a host gift; perfectly fine, the open house is free and open to everyone to enjoy and celebrate (in this case enjoy a like fandom together) regardless of how long you've known the host or how close you are to them (in this scenario the person had left a single line comment on a single work in 2021 and that was the only interaction they'd ever had, just to set the scene further).

This person comes in and doesn't seek out the host to say hello or let them know they've arrived. They spend their entire time at the party eating and drinking and having fun. They leave without ever speaking to the host to say thank you, what a great time they had/are having, great party. They're a ghost. Maybe, maybe, the host caught a glimpse of them in the crowd (leaving a kudo or a bookmark) but otherwise they came, they partied, and they left without ever even acknowledging the host's effort, time, or energy spent to put on the party. It sucks and the host is hurt but there's nothing they can do.

But then, in this scenario, the attendee reaches out after the fact to send a scathing text to the host about all the things wrong with the party. The host had run out of their favorite food, the drink selection was poor, there weren't enough chairs to sit on, the music was too loud. They literally have to have the last word of hate and cruelty and stomp all over a free event that was put on for them to enjoy without any expectations except the polite and kind thank you for hosting, had a great time. Quite honestly, who the fuck does that? This person, apparently, and they are unfortunately far from the first I've encountered.

So to all of this, if you are someone who is so offended to an author saying something in their notes like "please don't read and run," or "if you enjoyed the story I'd really appreciate hearing from you in the comments," or "please share a little love with the author and leave a comment," or "this was a really hard story for me to write, it'd mean a lot to hear from you," and have to react in the above way of spending all that time to spew hate when they could have easily just left a 'enjoyed the story' or even just walked away with a kudo (or not) ... then please don't read my works. I don't have the energy any more to deal with just hateful, cruel people, and I don't want them reading my works about support and teamwork and being there for each other. I don't honestly even know why they'd want to when clearly those sorts of messages are at odds with their personal beliefs.

It costs nothing to be kind. And while I would love for everyone to write detailed comments with favorite scenes and parts and feedback, I appreciate just as much the person who says "thanks for the story" and leave it at that because at least they took the few seconds, a single moment, to give back to that author after reading their time and effort and energy. And if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all and just walk away. Better to be a ghost than someone who actively seeks to hurt others.

Between comments like these and all the AI-stuff still floating about I have really been waffling between setting my AO3 to logged-in users only. I'm trying not to do that as I know there are many who don't have accounts for one reason or another and this is how they are able to access my works, but it's becoming a more distinct possibility. I really hope I don't have to resort to that. Please don't make that have to be the only outlet I have left to protect myself (although, this was a logged in user so even that isn't foolproof.)

If you read this and want to help make a positive difference, go out there today and spread some love. Leave a comment -- short and sweet or super detailed, whatever you feel comfortable with doing -- on story you read today. Tag a favorite author in a post. Draw fanart. Compliment someone in person on their smile. Do a random act of kindness. Donate to a favorite charity or help someone in need. Please, please help put kindness back into the world because right now, at least to me, it just feels very very dark and it definitely needs some more bright lights.