#honestly with all the drama I experienced

[cloudbunny]

kunlun and xiao wei doodle bc I cannot get enough of them

[creatingblackcharacters]

Do you have any advice/suggestions/requests for non-black members of fandom as far as how to respond to racism in fandom spaces? Obviously we shouldn't be speaking over black voices, but it doesn't seem fair for black members of fandom to have to do all the work of making a fandom space safe and welcoming for themselves.

You are correct! Tbh, these are tips for being a good ally in general:

Amplify Black Voices!

Odds are, whatever manifesto you have in your mind about the injustice of antiblackness in your fandom, a Black fan has already said it multiple times. While I appreciate the sentiment, I must admit I'm salty when I see that people are more supportive of (usually white) voices that discuss my lived experience, over my own voice and my lived experience. What does that really solve? You need to be following Black fans too, that way you're actually in the know when these things are happening.

Don't be a Bystander!

If I'm getting jumped and you (who had the power to help) show up afterwards to say "I really empathized with your pain", I'm not going to think "wow they cared, I'm so grateful". I'm going to think "WOW they really let me get my ass beat!" Same idea with this. That's honestly the most painful part for me; it's not the lone racist themselves, but the hordes of people who back them up, and the rest (some of whom you may even consider a friend) who might disagree but say absolutely nothing.

When you see that a Black peer is being railroaded and you KNOW it's wrong, step tf up! Be willing to say "you're out of pocket for behaving this way, and I will not be supporting you now that I know you're a racist". I will never know you're an ally if you're only an ally in your head! It's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!!

It's going to be uncomfortable! Stand on it!

If you share that you're against antiblackness in fandom spaces, but next you're reblogging whitewashed art, or an artist known for whitewashed/racist pieces, or still following someone who's made covert/overt antiblack statements, etc. just bc you "enjoy their stuff"... You're not being an ally. Be willing to hold those creators accountable, and when they disappoint you, unfollow them. Be willing to tell your friends, "hey, that person did/said this thing that was anti-black and were unapologetic about it". And if your friends don't care? Now you know who's around you. I'm not saying it's easy, but... Do you stand on business, or would you rather allow racism so that you can stay comfortable? Because your Black peers have to live under this discomfort you're only momentarily experiencing. It's far harder for me to approach these people and hold them accountable. And if I see that you're still kicking it with known antiblack racists... I'm probably not going to assume highly of you, either.

Educate yourself on what these aggressions look like!

You might not know what to look for, and if you don't, you're gonna miss a lot. What is actually antiblackness will often be posited as "drama" or "fandom wank". Or, if they're really trying to sound progressive, it'll reveal itself as dogwhistles in other important topics like queer representation or misogyny (e.g. how white women often claim misogyny when confronted with their racism, or TERFs). That's how it gets swept under the rug. Learn to recognize microaggressions, learn to recognize the signs. It requires work! Listen to and believe your Black peers when they explain what they saw! Bc trust, once you see it... You'll realize there's a lot of it lmao. And that's what many fans are afraid of confronting.

That's what I have for now, if anyone else has anything to offer. 👍🏾 Thanks for asking!

[doromoni]

Playing Offense | LN4

Last part of Off Time

Ships : Lando Norris x F1 Presenter! Reader

Genre : Angst, Fluff

Subtags : She fell first; He fell harder, Misunderstanding, Mutual Pinning, Groveling

A/N : Its hereeeeeee~ tell me what you think 🙏

Summary : You have pursued Lando's affection, yet he doesn't seem interested. Till your patience wavers and Lando realizes it too late. Will there be a right time for the two of you?

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Chaotic, confusing, and downright crazy are words you choose to use to describe what you’ve experienced so far. In your years working in f1, it has never been this crazy. Your romantic life has never been this convoluted — the drama, the butterflies, and the boy problems that you swore you were too old to be facing; and it all started with Lando and ended with Norris.

Your time spent apart from Lando put things into perspective about your feelings and standing as an individual. You realized that you have been greedy with Lando— not possessive, no, but you were selfish. You knew what you’d expected from the English driver was unfair to him. It was not right to expect or demand him to return your feelings just because his family and friends said so.

You now truly understood that Lando was his person and he could make his own decisions. If he chooses to be with another person? so be it and you shouldn’t hold it against him or anyone. It hurts like hell to think about, but your emotions are your own and Lando shouldn’t pay for it.

You put Lando on a pedestal that glorified him in your sight. You knew that there was a part of you that liked the idea of dating Lando Norris the F1 McLaren driver — you knew that your love for him was genuine but a small part of you knew that the expensive cars and his fame played a part in it.

And that kind of love led you to want to build a friendship with the driver first… because honestly you only knew Lando on a surface level.

With your epiphany, it was decided that you’ll no longer avoid Lando to forget your feelings. Facing Lando head-on was the right thing to do. You were happy to kindle a friendship with the English driver instead.

Amazingly, this new mindset has brought peace and happiness within you. Call it cliche but the expectations of others for you to catch Lando was heavy and crushing. But now it was slowly toning down, a sigh of relief you didn’t know you held was released.

With your new outlook, you breezed through the paddock a mic on hand as you went towards the Red Bull motorhome for an interview with Max and Checo.

Fate was testing you today because just as you crossed the McLaren Motorhome you had crossed paths with no other than Lando Norris.

“Y/N!” You hear Lando’s voice echo out. Your heartbeat shot up as you held your breath and stopped your stride, now facing the driver.

Lando was filled with delight as he noticed you stop, your face held the dazzling smile that he missed dearly. He had expected you to simply walk past him like usual but to his excitement, you acknowledged his existence.

Lando jogged towards you. You quickly examined Lando from head to toe, he was dressed so fashionably as usual. He was clad in cream-colored hues from head to toe, even his watch and bracelets were monotone so the bright red band on his arm caught your attention. Your eyes widened at the realization… it was the lost hair tie that Flo gave you!

You've been looking for that hair tie for ages! You pushed that thought aside as Lando stopped right in front of you, a grin permanent on him.

“Hi, Lando. What’s up?” You greeted, making sure your voice was steady and clear. You looked up to the English driver, holding his gaze.

“ I just wanted to talk to you, how have you been? Mom said you got a promotion, congrats by the way! ” Lando uttered, as he held on to every word you were saying.

“I did! thank you. “ You beamed excitedly - more so on the fact that Lando remembered something about you. If you only knew how much Lando cherished everything and every piece of information he could associate with you.

“Yeah, I’ve been so deep in work I haven’t been much in touch with your family. I should probably give them a call” You trailed mostly to yourself

“You should, they’ve beaten me to a pulp and said that it was my fault that you were distant with them” Lando was joking with you as he nudged your shoulder gently.

“Oh I’m so sorry! but It IS your fault though” You bantered back, playfully rolling your eyes. The two of you laughed.

“Well then, I apologize for inconveniencing you Ms. L/N” You could only laugh further at his goofiness.

“Are you going somewhere now? “ Lando’s question made you realize that you were indeed needed at Red Bull!

You hastily held your watch to your face, as the mic you held felt heavier in your hand making its presence known. You needed to be there in 2 minutes.

“you are, aren’t ya?” You pursed your lips and nodded begrudgingly, disappointment was painted all over both of your faces as your light-hearted conversation was cut short.

“Yeah, I need to be with Max and Checo. But, hey. It was nice catching up with you~ I’ll see you later Lando” You said bidding goodbye to the driver.

Before you could walk away, Lando held your forearm gently stopping you.

“Y/N… how about coffee after your interviews today?” Lando’s offer was a shock. A pleasant one, but a shock nonetheless. Your eyes widened and your cheeks felt hot under Lando’s intense stare.

“I - uh… I have plans with Oscar.” You saw him physically deflate, his shoulders dropping a notch.

Panic instantly spread through you as Lando’s hand fell to his side. A small frown was evident on his face— although he tried his best to hide it.

“But you can join us if you’d like!” You blurted out, clearly not thinking things through… Well, your best friend can deal with it later.

“Could I?” Lando eagerly asked, to which you could only nod and smile.

“Great! I’ll text you ok? I’ll pick you up, yeah? Bye Y/N! Have fun with work~ ” Lando was all smiles and yaps that you couldn’t put another word in.

“uh, ok bye…” You could only blink at the retreating form of Lando who kept waving at you as he entered the motorhome once more.

You stood rooted from where Lando left you, staring blankly at the doors of McLaren.

What the hell did you just do? You just invited Lando into Charles’ Hotel Room. You and Oscar were supposed to look after Leo while Charles and Alex went on date night.

You can now imagine the laughing faces of Charles and Oscar and the amused faces of Alex when you do tell them what you’ve done.

The groan escaped your mouth as everything sank in. You just hoped that Lando liked High School Musical and Descendants… because you were having a marathon and neither of them complaining was going to stop you.

You were so engrossed with your thoughts that you did not see the dark blue-clad driver nearing you — only noticing when he nudged you to the side and you felt yourself tumble a bit.

Laughter that wasn’t yours followed soon after.

“What are you doing, little duck??” The driver asked still laughing, but now helping you steady yourself.

“MAX! You scared me you shit! “ You groaned, raising a hand and started slapping the Red Bull driver on the arm.

“Woman! That hurts, stop it” Max held your hand in his to stop your intrusions. You tsk-ed at him and pulled your hand away from his grip.

“I came looking for you, dummy! you’re late. What are you doing here just standing” Max lowered his head by bending his waist— leveling his eye with yours.

you only pouted and avoided his eyes, not offering a response. Max’s sight fell towards the McLaren motorhome and his mouth opened into an O shape.

“Oh, I see. It’s Lando again. Oh…Y/N. I wished you weren’t this blind. Others’d love to have you” Max said, only muttering the last parts — escaping your ears.

“ What?? speak up, dude! I don’t know how Kelly puts up with you.”

“Y/N. Kelly and I broke up months ago.” Max said as his face scrunched at you as if non-verbally asking if you were stupid.

“What?! how?! why?!” You could only ask startled by the revelation.

“ Never mind that you nosy little thing. We’re late!” Max didn’t answer your question, but he pulled you in the direction of their motorhome.

While unbeknownst to you, Lando saw the entire thing with Max. His mind was foggy and running at full speed. The driver that was interested in you couldn’t be Max, right? Not his closest friend on the grid. It couldn’t be….

Were you the reason that Max and Kelly broke up? His fists clenched on his side and his teeth gritted with force. Lando and Max’s friendship was already soaked in tension with how the races were unfolding. They were in the battle for the championship title, the two drivers are both notorious for taking their standings and performance in all races very seriously. And now that McLaren has given Lando a competitive car and his eagerness to win intensifies — the tension only grows thicker.

But even if it was Max, Lando was sure that he would die first before he stepped aside. He wouldn’t quit when it came to you, not when you were finally talking to him.

Lando sees John in his peripherals coming near him.

“John, clear my schedule for tomorrow please” Lando stated his eyesight never left the position where you and Max were.

“What for? you have a meeting with your engineers.” John looked confused

“Move that to later tomorrow night. I’m feeling up for a paddle game with Max” Lando replied calmly, a calm that held underlying danger.

***

The interview at Red Bull had just finished — it was fun yet draining at the same time. Max had been very cooperative, even eager to play the games! Much to your surprise, even the other staff of Red Bull was shocked.

It was established that Max Verstappen hated media day. So what changed now?

You had no time to ponder more about the World Champion as you had so much more on your plate… like calling Osc and Charles about Lando.

You held your phone to your face as you FaceTimed the group chat with you, Oscar, Charles and Alex.

The line rang and rang, till they finally picked up.

You saw the face of Charles with Alex by his side— they were probably in the Ferrari Motorhome.

And Oscar seemed to be out running on the track, oops.

“Hi Y/N~ I love the look!” Alex gushed as soon as she popped on the screen

“Thank you, Alex!” You gushed back.

“What is this about? — I’m kinda in the middle of something” Oscar panted as he kept running

“Ok, I’ll make this quick, and don’t judge me Ok?” You started.

“Lando is coming to Charles’ to babysit Leo,” You said in one breath.

“WHAT?!”

“HOW?!”

“OH MY!”

They all reacted with surprise.

“I thought that you were avoiding him? What happened to that, huh?” Oscar was now standing still. While The couple was sat there listening intently

“I know I know…. but it just happened ok? He asked me out for coffee and I said we had plans. He looked so disappointed and I panicked and I invited him to join us. I didn’t even say where and what we’re doing!”You explained. Just like you predicted before, the two men burst out laughing while Alex smiled amused by what you’ve done.

“ Y/N, I swear! you’re a mess ~ I love it! But before you could ask. Yes, he can come to our room” Charles whizzed out, now wiping the rouge tear from his eye.

“ Ughhhh, I’ll be a third wheel then??” Oscar groaned at the realization. You could only roll your eyes.

“Shut up, and as if! Bye, guys! see y’all later I guess. Osc don’t forget to bring snacks!” As soon as you said that you ended the call.

You just wished that Lando wouldn’t get bored or expect something big from you.

And Funny enough, Lando did enjoy your cozy hangout with Oscar in Charles’ Hotel room. He was now like a magnet to you, and you welcomed it with a smile. Lando was sweet and caring and a blast to have around. Lando and Oscar’s relationship had also strengthened— much to McLaren’s joy.

Your duo with Oscar now became a trio with Lando. Oscar argues that Lando was only there because of you — but you begged to differ.

As you spent more time with the English driver, you uncovered more of his habits and quirks that only close friends knew. But of course, Lando had his flaws, ones that you were too blind to notice before — the flaws that solidified his humanity to you.

Lando Norris was not perfect and that was more than ok because you were far from it yourself. At the end of the day, you got the know the real Lando Norris, not the Formula 1 driver, but the kid who grew up in Glastonbury who loved gaming with his dad and watching his mom cook.

Surprisingly, You had fallen easily into a routine with Lando. Your life now was once again filled with Lando Norris’ presence. Lando would pick you up and drop you off every race weekend. Then you’d spend off days together either with Oscar, his family or just the two of you lounging around or going out.

True enough your relationship with Lando had started to bloom into something in the line between friends and something more.

“Lan, could you please set the table up? Dinner’s almost ready” You shouted for Lando to hear.

It was after a particularly not-so-great race for Lando. He and Max had a collision that ended badly for the both of them — but more on Lando. You could feel the anger radiating out of the English driver when you saw him earlier.

He begged you to come to his unit and spend the night. He said he wanted comfort and your company today.

You were finishing up the dish you were making on the counter when you felt strong arms caging you in from the back.

You suddenly grew tense and your heart skipped beats, as you felt Lando’s heat permeating in your back. His cologne smelled divine when you got a whiff of it when he leaned his chin on your shoulder.

“Lan? Are you ok?” You started speaking carefully, not entirely sure what to do. Lando’s arms then went to encircle your waist, clutching you closer.

“Y/N…. you’d choose me right?” Lando’s question startled you and at the same time confused you.

You turned yourself in his arms, you were now facing each other. Your faces were so close that the thought of kissing him senselessly fogged your brain.

“W-what do you mean?” you asked.

“You’d choose me over Max right?” Lando asked his eyes traveling from your eyes then to your lips— lingering there.

“Over Max? What does he ha-“ you asked very confused, his proximity not helping you think at all.

“Please say It’s me, Y/N… please” Lando begged, his hand now cradling your jaw.

“I-, yes. It’s you, Lando. Always” You finally relented.

And at your answer, Lando hastily crashes his lips on yours like a man starving and you were there happily taking it.

You knew that you shouldn’t get your hopes up and assume that this was Lando telling you that he loved you or held feelings for you. It wasn’t a done deal till you heard the words right out of Lando’s mouth.

You’re waiting for the words “ Would you be my girlfriend” out of his mouth.

But alas, you were just a girl and you couldn’t help yourself to yearn for affection and attention from the boy that held your heart. And you weren’t going to lie either

No matter how much you tried to maintain your friendship with Lando Norris — you were helpless to his charms. And now that he was showing some semblance of returning your affections… well you were doomed.

Yet life is still a bitch, it can never be sunshine and rainbows all the time. Because the time came when some lines between friendships were crossed. Can you be just friends when you know each other’s tastes?

You and Lando were tiptoeing on the status of your relationship. Are you just friends??

Rumors regarding relationships in the world of F1 are brutal. One minute everything is quiet and peaceful and the next second you get the media all up in your face and you’ve gotten a call from your supervisor asking wtf is going on and why is your name trending.

Well, how could it not? It was only free practice When you were live on air in the paddock walking through the pit lane and you and your cameraman breezed through the McLaren garage and captured Lando’s most recent fling, all up in his face. The two were making a scene, as the mechanics tapped their feet and Andrea Stella fuming on the sideline. The entire situation screamed drama.

You felt moronic. You felt stupid that you thought that you had something special with Lando. Turns out you were just a game to him. Now that He’s got you at arm's length once again, it’s time to toss you out for a new side piece.

You eyed the pair up and down, an eyebrow raised- hurt and anger ebbed in your heart. But you knew how to be professional and kept your emotions and expressions in check. Smiling your most dazzling smile as you tried to recover and lead the audience and camera away. Just as you gave them one last glance, your eyes caught the eyeline of Lando.

His entire body grew tense at the sight of your presence. Your face was blank and your eyes held disbelief and hurt. Lando knew that what you saw was bad.

And it did look bad. Magiu was pushing herself into Lando’s embrace catching him off guard, her hands held his face as she beamed up at him and bid him good luck. He was in shock! how come that girl was even in here?! He knew for sure that he cut ties with her and left everything at that.

He knew that you would think that he was back to his old ways. Panic struck in Lando as he saw you walking away from him. Not thinking things through, he pushed Magui to the side as he sprinted past every mechanic and engineer on the way towards you. It didn’t sink into his mind that you were live on TV.

“So, anyway Crofty back to what you were asking. You asked th—“ You said into the mic that was in your hand as you walked towards Max’s garage in Red Bull when suddenly your path was blocked by no other than Lando Norris.

Your eyes shoot wide as you see him approach you directly. What is he doing?! Even your cameraman didn’t know whether to pan to another frame or just keep rolling… and to everyone’s relief, he chose the latter.

“Y/N! It wasn’t what you think it was! please believe me” Lando begged, still not caring for the camera.

“Lando! What are you doing?! we’re on air! Stop it. You’re being childish!” You hissed lowly at the English driver. You signaled the cameraman to pan to another commentator, which he thankfully followed.

“No! Y/N. I need to know that you believe me. I didn’t bring her here! She was just there and it caught me off guard. Y/N, I swear … Please look at me” Lando continued to beg you to look at him as you avoided meeting his eyes.

You could sense that a lot of people were watching you and a lot were questioning what the hell was happening.

“Lando. Not now! I’m working. If you have any ounce of respect for me, you’ll leave and we’ll talk later.” your teeth gritted

“I swear, it was all a mistake! Y/N! I Love you!” Lando pleaded with you.

“Prove it” Your voice held Ice as you stared down at Lando — anger still consuming your system.

***

“Delivery for Ms. L/N!” Your hands instantly stopped typing on your laptop as you looked up and away from the screen.

There stood a delivery guy holding the biggest bouquet of White Gardenias and Baby breaths you have ever laid your eyes on. You couldn’t help but catch your breath at its beauty. It was magnificent— almost ethereal even.

“Wow, that’s big” You were suddenly startled by the voice that came from inside your office. You forgot that Oscar was there on your couch.

“Holy Sh- I forgot you were here!” You exclaimed at your appointed best friend. You stood up and went towards the delivery guy thanking him before he left.

The flowers weighed heavy in your arms. Even so, you ducked down and gave it a sniff and It smelled heavenly. You placed the flowers inside the vase that resided in your office — a new piece of furniture that you were “forced” to acquire given the amount of flowers you were suddenly receiving.

“How many has it been?” Oscar asked as he stretched his arms, now standing up and was all over your flowers.

“Stop! Get your gremlin hands off” You quickly swatted the Australian’s hand. Oscar only pouted as he returned to his seat

“ That’s every weekend for every race week so far,” Oscar said, answering his question.

Your smile widened as your eyes caught sight of the card that usually came with it.

“ Hoping this brightens your day, just as you brighten mine 🤍 I love you” - L

You swore that your lips were going to burst at the seams with the size of the smile that was on it. You feel the butterflies making their way to your stomach. You felt the heat inching its way to your cheeks and down your neck.

Lovesick as you may be, you were not foolish enough to make things easier for the English McLaren Driver. With everything you went through? He could sweat a little… or that’s what you say.

“Is it from Lando?” Oscar asked once more.

“it just says L. So I'm not sure… “ You trailed, obviously acting dumb.

“Uhuh, who else could it be?” The Australian deadpanned, giving you a playful glare.

“Hey! It could be from Lewis” You joked back. This only earned a scoff from Oscar.

“Yeah! like you could get Lewis” Oscar sassed

.You were about to rebut when a knock was heard from the door.

Then suddenly popped in a mop of curly brown hair that you would kill to run your hand through.

“Osc, Zac wanted a word with you. Like right now, he doesn’t look happy” Lando spoke, which prompted the Australian to bolt out of your office.

You felt your heart beating in your throat, as your eyes set on Lando’s bewitching green eyes.

Swallowing a breath, you tried to casually talk to the driver who was now smiling brightly at you. You could swear that you see Lando’s gaze soften as he looked at you.

“Hi,” You spoke softly, almost a bit shy. Your eyes never leave Lando’s.

“Hi” He spoke just as softly— his smile never breaking and it only grew sweeter by the second. Right there and then, you could tell that you fell for him even more.

After the issue of Magui had subsided a month ago, Lando had set his heart to finally court you officially — much to your glee. Lando has more than proved himself worthy of the affection you’ve had for him.

“Uhm, what did Oscar do?” You were the first to back down and break eye contact — because you knew any longer, you’d jump him.

“Nothing, I just needed him to leave. I wanted to talk to you. ” Lando uttered, his smile growing sheepish. His hand fidgeted his nape.

“Oh! Did you want to talk to me? What for?” You asked with hidden giddiness. Your fingers twisting in front of you with nervousness.

“Mom and Dad are throwing a party and I know you’re already invited… but I was hoping that you’d go with me” The British driver trailed, self-doubt and unease evident in his voice, yet he was still determined and he stood his ground. His emerald eyes never fell.

Slowly, a smile spread on your face as you slowly went near the driver and took his hand in yours — practically catching the both of you off guard. You with your bravery and Lando with your sudden contact after weeks of avoiding his touch.

You could physically see the weight lifting off Lando’s shoulders from your touch — A grin appears on his face. You feel him clutch your hand tighter - almost as if checking if it were real. His thumb glided softly against your skin, sending goosebumps up your nape. Making the butterflies in your stomach crazier than ever.

“You mean like as your date?” You uttered coyly, your hand now entangled with Lando’s. Your eyes drifted to where he held you — the sight fascinated you. You always knew that his hand was big, but now as it covered yours entirely— you understood just how much his dwarfed yours.

Yet suddenly, you feel your face slowly being tilted up, as you feel Lando’s fingers guiding your eyes to meet his.

“I meant as my girlfriend” You were speechless once again, you knew that this was coming but that didn’t make it any easier to process.

“Y/N is that a yes? Hmm?” Lando’s hand then found its way to tucking your hair behind your ear. You felt yourself freeze under his intimate action, this smooth fucker knew what he was doing!

“ I would love to be your girlfriend,” You said softly as you went on your tip toes reaching for his lips with yours in a soft kiss. His arms instantly wrapped around your waist — pulling you further into him.

“Fucking Finally. Y/N L/N, I love you.” Lando whispered in between your kisses.

“Oh, yeah… I got you another present” Lando uttered as he glanced at the table behind you.

You reluctantly followed his eyesight.

“ Lando Norris … you did not. That's a fucking Birkin!” You exclaimed as you set your eyes on the Orange and Neon Green stitched handbag worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And the one he got you just screamed: “Made by Lando Norris”. Your eyes remained wide and mouth gaping… you knew what a Birkin Bag meant when given by a man, it meant to symbolize a mark. Lando Norris was marking you and showing to the world that you were his.

“Happy first day to us, Baby” Lando whispered mischievously, as he captured your lips once more.

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[tonyspank]

WH0 R U???

Warnings: Professor!Reader, Tara eye-fucking you, and that’s all I believe.

Summary: Tara’s attractive Professor comes to the rescue.

A/N: I’ll be doing a part 2 soon w smut 🥲

part 2

Several years of school, scholarly work, and teaching experience led you here.

To Blackmore University. You were younger than the average professor, but your dedication and passion for education set you apart.

You were professional and not one to be pushed around. That much was clear when you set foot inside your literature classroom for the first time.

English was always your favorite subject, and you excelled in it throughout your academic journey. So, why wouldn't you pursue a career in teaching English at the university level?

However, for the next few months, you won't be teaching literature. Instead, you'll be filling in for your co-worker Laura, who's away on FML, taking on the role of teaching film study.

While you may not have much experience teaching film, Laura was desperate for someone to cover her classes, and you were willing to help out. She's been nothing but sweet to you. Plus, how hard could it be? You've watched movies before.

When you walked into the classroom on your first day, late in the afternoon, you were greeted by a bunch of drama kids who were honestly confused; you could see it in their faces.

They were expecting Laura, their experienced film study teacher, but instead they got you, someone with little to no teaching experience in film.

"Professor Y/LN?" Jason Carvey, a student from your previous class, asked with a puzzled expression.

"What happened to Laura? We were really looking forward to her class."

You took a deep breath, placing your belongings on the desk at the front of the classroom.

"Unfortunately, Laura had an unexpected personal matter to attend to and won't be able to teach this semester. But don't worry, I may not have much teaching experience in film, but I'll try my best."

You reassured the students, hoping to alleviate their disappointment. "Professor Crane provided me with some materials and resources to help guide us through the semester. Additionally, I've been doing my own research to ensure that we have a fulfilling learning experience in this class."

You give the class a tight-lipped smile before opening your briefcase.

"Well, shall we get started?"

Tara didn't know exactly what it was about you that made her eyes widen and her heart begin racing. Sure, anyone could see you were attractive, young, and obviously confident, but there was something more captivating about your presence.

Was it your voice? Was it how you commanded the room with your words? Or perhaps it was the way you'd lean back against the desk, crossing your built arms as your eyes scanned the room, exuding an air of authority.

Tara found herself drawn to you like a magnet, unable to tear her gaze away. She was intrigued by the air of mystery that surrounded you, wondering what secrets lay behind your confident façade.

As class went on, Tara's dark brown eyes scanned over you like a predator assessing its prey. From your perfectly styled hair to your amazingly kept eyebrows, your enchanting y/e/c eyes, to your sultry lips—don't get her started on your sculpted jawline.

You were a sight to take in, captivating and commanding attention without even trying. You presented yourself with an effortless grace that made it impossible for anyone to look away.

Your white button-up shirt was crisp and tailored, hugging your form in all the right places, and your black slacks were perfectly pressed, accentuating the length and strength of your legs.

Tara's stare flew back up, staring at the bulge in your pants, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment and desire—

"—Tara, is it? What do you think?" Tara quickly snapped out of her momentary distraction, her cheeks still flushed.

She cleared her throat and tried to regain her composure before responding, "Oh, I'm sorry. Could you please repeat the question?"

You smile, showcasing your charming dimples and perfect smile. While Tara was in her trance, you found yourself relaxing into the class's discussion, feeling like you no longer needed to put on your strict professor persona.

You leaned back, crossing your legs. "How do you think directors like Quentin Tarantino push the boundaries of traditional storytelling in their films? Do you believe their unique approaches have a lasting impact on the film industry?"

Tara nods, playing with the pencil that sits in front of her. "Yeah, I think directors like Tarantino definitely push the boundaries of traditional storytelling, especially with their unique approaches that challenge the audience's expectations and keep them engaged. Like Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction, for example, and how he used non-linear narrative structure and unconventional use of violence to create a distinct cinematic experience that stands out from the mainstream. Peak cinema at its finest."

You raise an eyebrow, impressed. "You surely know your film." The freckled-faced girl giggles in response, dropping her gaze to her hands.

At the end of the lecture, Tara approaches you with a small smile on her face. You look up from your notes, which Laura had given you, and it also confuses the fuck out of you. With a quirked eyebrow, you meet Tara's gaze, your face softening.

"Oh, Tara. Need something?" Tara hesitates for a moment before speaking. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd accept my late work. Professor Crane gave me extra time to complete it, but I still couldn't finish on time. I understand if you can't, but I thought it was worth asking."

You bite on your lower lip, not noticing how quickly Tara's eyes drop to the action. "Uh, sure." You rip out a piece of paper from your notebook and write down a quick note.

"Here's my number. I lost the login to my email, so this will have to do. Send me your late work, and I'll make sure it gets to Professor Crane. Just make sure to include your name and the assignment details in the text so there's no confusion. I'll do my best to help you out."

Tara's eyes light up with relief as she thanks you profusely. "I really appreciate it, thank you so much." You nod, giving her a tight-lipped smile before focusing back on your notes.

A few days later, you're home alone, eating a bowl of ice cream while you watch the movie Stab. Suddenly, your phone buzzes with a new message. Your eyes fight to tear away from the screen, and you reluctantly pick up your phone to check the message.

+1 (347) 871-1921: wh0 r u???

You squint at the unfamiliar number, puzzled by the message. After a moment of hesitation, you reply.

You: I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. Who are you trying to reach?

+1 (347) 871-1921: profdsser y/ln

You furrow your brow, trying to decipher the cryptic message. It doesn't make any sense to you. Curiosity getting the better of you, you decide to respond one more time. You: I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're saying. Can you please clarify?

+1 (347) 871-1921: rolling eyes emoji

+1 (347) 871-1921: three ht poreffesor whofilling for ms crane?

Was this Tara? You put down your bowl of ice cream; this had to be Tara. And she had to be drunk. You take a deep breath before responding again.

You: Tara, is that you? Are you okay? It seems like you're drunk.

+1 (347) 871-1921: ummmmmmmmm

+1 (347) 871-1921: busted

You: Tara, I'm really concerned about you. Is everything alright? Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Tara: iamat the frt house

Tara: canyoucum pik me up, pleas?

You twist your lips, concerned about Tara's well-being and the fact that she is asking for a ride. Surely she had friends with her. You didn't want to leave her stranded, but you also didn't want to be the professor driving their students home from a wild party. However, you take a moment to gather yourself before responding.

You: Of course, Tara. I'll be there to pick you up. Just send me the address, and I'll be on my way.

Tara has started sharing their location with you.

You see the location pop up on your phone, quickly checking the estimated time of arrival, and mentally prepare yourself to pick up your drunk student.

[satorusugurugurl]

The Leisure Streamer is a Hottie! (Chapter Five)

Summary: Rumor had it the top donor of the-strongest-streamers chats get to see him naked! Now that you're the top donor, will you get to see the goods, or was it just a rumor? Time will tell.

Pairing: Streamer!Gojo x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: language, suggestiveness, social media drama, hate comments, cyber bullying,

A/N: One more part remaining of this series!! Thanks for you patience I really appreciate you all!! 💚💚💚

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

“Yo, wait—” Gojo flushed, shifting in his gaming chair. “This man is—oh! Ooh!” his computer screen was reflected in the lenses of his dark blue glasses as comments came flooding in from his chat. “Why is he lifting me!? Where is he taking me?” several comments came flooding in, talking about how Sylus was Gojo‘s kryptonite to others, begging for him to read his lines, including the little sounds he made. All of which he ignored his eyes, focusing on his phone that was propped up on his desk. A message from you flashed across the screen.

Sweetheart💚: I can’t believe you’re two-timing whore! 😩

He swirled side-side in his chair as he picked his phone up, smiling like an idiot. Everything else didn’t seem to matter as he ignored his stream for a second to send you a quick reply, which didn’t go unnoticed by his fans asking what he was doing.

Gojo: How could you? If anyone’s a two-timer, it’s you. And what’s his face—Rafayel? I distinctly remember you telling me to play this.

Sweetheart💚: don’t bring my fictional husband into this! 😤You’re the one fawning over Sylus on the livestream over the “shower scene”

Gojo: jealous? 😏

Sweetheart💚: Me jealous? No never.

Gojo: if you want to shower with me that bad, all you have to do is ask, sweetie! 😮‍💨

Sweetheart💚: I want to shower with you and be at the shop in 10 minutes! 😚

His heart swelled, and his cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling. It had been close to a month since you both had met each other. A month that had been filled with laughter, dates, and joy. Gojo couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy!

The only real hiccup the two of you had experienced was the leaked photo of you at the Love Hotel. That has been stressful and nerve-racking, but things to his mad, amazing PR manager. This situation had been diffused before it could spread like wildfire. Gojo made a statement to his fans, asking them to respect his personal life, which was respected. The prodding questions had stopped, but of course, he still had the occasional question that brought up the mystery girl from the hotel. Whenever something like that was asked, he had his statement memorized, which he would recite to not come off as an asshole. A majority of the time, his fans were sweet and understanding.

Gojo honestly had some of the best fans in the world. But you were the best thing that he’d ever had happen to him when it came to his fans. The more he got to know you, the more he became your biggest fan. You being his top donor a month ago changed his life for the better, and now that he was thinking about that, he needed to get the money back to you somehow subtly.

“Bro is staring at his phone like a teenage girl!” a robotic voice sounded in his headphones as someone donated to have their comment read out loud.

The chat was going wild now, asking what he was doing or who he was talking to. Was he smiling like a teenage girl? He didn’t even finish processing through his brain as a meme popped up in the chat on his. Damn, his followers move fast, as several means seem to follow suit.

The text on them varied from "the strongest streamer when Sylus talks!" to "me when Gojo streams," all the way to "me when the pizza rolls are done." Anything that could be added to the goofy someone took of him was added, which was both impressive and slightly embarrassing. From now on, he should refrain from texting you when he is streaming, or he will continue to be turned into a meme.

“Oh, you guys are hilarious,” his voice was thick with sarcasm as he turned his attention back to the screen. “A real bunch of comedians. I have here in the chat.” several laughing face emojis flooded the log, thankfully, making those god-awful memes fade from his view. “All jokes aside, I’m going to play for a little bit longer before I sign off. But I’ll be streaming again tonight. We’ll be perfecting my island on Animal Crossing!” but he could care less about his island. He was much more looking forward to watching you sketch while he played.

Well, Gojo continued streaming. The door to The Rainbow Dragon Café chimed as you walked in. “Hey!” Geto grinned, waving at you from the counter he was leaning over. “Satoru, it’s still streaming.”

“Oh, I know that’s fine, though I wanted to talk to you anyway.” You sat on one of the barstools, pulling your iPad out. “I finished some rough sketches for your logo. I need you to let me know what you think. You could tell me or if you want me to change anything.”

“Oh, cool, I’m eager to see what you designed.”

For the first time in a long time, your hand started shaking as your boss took the iPad, turning it around to look at your very rough sketches. Your nerves were shot to shit, and you weren’t all that happy with the sketches you had produced, which was not normal for you. Every other client you have had in the past always left you bouncing with excitement, eager to see the reaction to the hard work and dedication you had put in. But this lack of confidence was some strange new emotion you hadn’t felt in years.

This all started because some of your boyfriend's followers found your art account.

Satoru wasn’t kidding when he told you some of the fanbase was toxic. They sent you nasty messages telling you that Gojo deserves better. They criticized your artwork over your choice of colors, line art, and handwriting. Anything they saw on your account, they ripped it apart, shredding your confidence into ragged pieces.

The comments didn’t bother you at first. They were so minuscule, and you figured if you gave it a few days, they would give up when you didn’t react or feed into their negativity. That didn’t stop the comments; they continued and grew progressively worse daily.

You were confident in your work. But people were constantly telling you how much you sucked, how you lacked the talent; those words stuck to you like glue, and it didn’t matter how many times you blocked the spam; the word still felt like a hot brand in your mind. You hated to admit it, but those words produced an art block for you made out of fear and self-doubt.

“Oh,” Suguru hummed, pulling you out of the void you were trapped in, “wow.”

“T-They’re rough!” You jumped in your hands, reaching for your tablet. “If you don’t like them, I can fix—”

“Whoa, whoa, hey now, I didn’t say that.” Geto probably pulled your iPad out of your reach. “Nothing even remotely close to that.”

You swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in your throat. “T-Then what--uhm,” Geto’s dark eyes filled with concern as you cracked your knuckles anxiously. “What do you think?” The feature of his face softened, but the problem remained.

“I was saying, wow, this is amazing.” his gaze finally dropped back down to your iPad, where he stared fondly at the dragon you had designed. The head was focused towards the audience while the body and tail curled into a circle where the name of the logo had been written. Rough colors of white, teal, and green had been scribbled in. You also had drawn some Chibi versions of Rainbow Dragon for the website or other social media. Geto might like to use it in the future.

“These are just sketches; I can see how amazing the final product will look.” Wheels seem to be turning in your boss's head with the different possibilities of how he could market with the fantastic logos you had designed. “There’s a lot we can do with this. We could make mugs and T-shirts. I could commission a new neon sign to be made.” the way he listed different possibilities, some of the fear on your shoulders. “This is awesome. Do you think you could draw some versions of a Rainbow Dragon?”

“Y-Yeah, of course! I can start working on the final logo too after—” Some comments from your account flashed like a warning sign at the forefront of your mind. “Some more adjustments.”

“Adjustments? But these are great. You can finalize this logo right here. I absolutely love it.” Your chin quivered, and as hard as you tried to hide it, Geto saw through your facade. “Hey, " he said, putting your tablet down, reaching across the counter, and gently taking your hand. What’s wrong? You can talk to me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Please, I have two teenage girls. I know ‘nothing’ definitely means something is going on.”

With a sigh, you focused on the rings on Suguru's hand. “I-I’ve been getting some feedback on my art account.” Calling the cruel, hateful words ‘feedback’ was like sugarcoating the whole situation. “So I haven’t been feeling like my work is the best right now.” there was a flash in Suguru’s eyes as you glanced back up at him, which you could only describe as a protective rage. Like a big brother would give to a younger sibling when he found out that they were being bullied. “But I'm okay for the most part. I'm trying to work through it.”

“I’m going to take a while guess and say that it’s Satoru’s wild fan, girls?” your silence told him everything he needed to know. “It is. Those girls are the worst.” He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Have you told him or Nanami what’s going on?”

“No, I haven't.”

“You need to tell him.”

“No, no,” you shook your head, “it's not like there’s much he can do.”

“Satoru would move mountains for you because you’re his girlfriend. He won’t put up with this shit.”

Technically speaking, you were his girlfriend to him and your friends and family, but nobody else knew that. Both of you agreed that since the last fiasco, lying low had been the best thing for you to do. It really didn’t seem like the best time to stir up drama again.

Plus, they were just comments. It wasn’t like anyone was physically trying to harm you. They were just being rude about your artwork, saying things that obviously weren’t true, but they still hurt. But your relationship was meant to be private until Satoru publicly announced that the two of you were dating; people wouldn’t just be mean about your artwork. You could only imagine what people would say about you. You knew if they hated your artwork this much. You were afraid to see what they would say about pictures of you both together.

You needed to grow some thicker skin to continue your relationship with Satoru and God; you wanted it to continue.

You liked him so much. Never once in your life have you been happier in a relationship. Gojo spoiled rotten, treated you like royalty, and you fell harder for him each passing day. You wanted a strong relationship with him, so you should tell him what was happening. It shouldn't even be a question of whether you should or shouldn't. Good communication is the key to a solid and stable relationship. But you were so hesitant to tell him about it.

Maybe it was because you didn’t want him to think you couldn’t handle being in the limelight. But being in the public eye happened when people being in a relationship with someone as famous as Gojo, as popular as he was, meant that their life would be out in the open, even if he tried to keep his personal life separate from streaming. This was just what came with the territory of being a popular streamer. Today, anybody can find out who people are through their secrets. With time, you will be able to ignore the comments. They would be something that didn’t bother you anymore, plus you didn’t want Satoru worrying about you.

You were strong, and you didn’t need him to protect you.

Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth before meeting Suguru’s concerned gaze. So much came out of that one Q&A opportunity with Gojo. One thirty-minute question session turned masturbation session, leading you to some of the best moments of your life. You had a boyfriend girls dreamed of having. You made lots of new friends, and life was good! With more passing time, you would slowly get back into the drawing flow. Ultimately, all the good things that had happened outweighed the bad.

“You need to tell him,” Suguru said again, glancing at his phone screen as he scrolled, anger increasing as he stared at it.

“I’ll tell him soon, " you confessed, sighing heavily.

“Tell him what?” warm hands squeezed your shoulders.

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden contact, but the second soft lips thrust against your cheek relaxed. “Toru! You scared the shit out of me.” smooth, white-haired tickled your cheek, his chin pressed against your shoulder.”I told Suguru I would show you the rough draft for the new logo I designed.”

“Oh?” Gojo peeked over your shoulder, staring at the screen. “Is that so?” You gave your boss a pleading look, a silent request that he not tell your boyfriend what was going on. He sighed before he tapped on his phone.

“Yeah, she was.” Gojo beamed, pressing another kiss to your cheek. “Do you wanna see?”

“I want to see my girlfriend's amazing work!”

“Here.”

You shut your eyes, humming softly as you leaned into the warmth that radiated off of Satoru’s body. The smell of clean linen and musk relaxed every muscle in your body as you felt your boyfriend shift to take the iPad from Suguru. For a split second, Gojo was confused to see an Instagram account on the screen of Suguru’s phone instead of a sketch, but he didn’t question it once he saw the cute mochi avatar he knew belonged to you.

“Oh, cool!” he clicked on the first post, which was a logo design you had made for a local arcade. The cute Chibi pinball machine was colored in vibrant shades, and your line art made everything stand out. “That’s my girl! Look at the talent! The lime art, the shading!”

Shading? Line art? You just drew a sketch for Suguru. Your eyes went wide as you straightened. You turned to look at your boss, finding his face transfixed on Gojo. He wasn’t looking at your iPad but Suguru’s cellphone. His thumbs moved over the screen, scrolling towards the comment section. Every muscle in his arm tensed as he read what people were saying.

‘This is so sloppy!’

‘Ppl paid 4 this shit? I would ask 4 a refund ☠️’

‘u should get a real job 😂’

“Satoru,” you tried reaching for the phone, only to have Gojo pull away, stepping away from the counter as he read more.

‘eew her did they draw their avatar as a chibi mochi because that’s the-strongest-streamers favorite food? 🤢 desperate much?’

‘Slut’

‘Whore!’

‘Gojo deserves better than your talentless ass 🙃’

The further he scrolled, the nastier the comments became. The muscles in his forearm twitched, and it was the first time you saw an expression on his features that you had never seen before. It was rage.

“How long?” He asked, a voice as cold as a winter storm.

“What?”

“How long has this been going on for?” Satoru gestured his chin towards the phone, which was still in his hand. “How long.”

You wanted to shrink into yourself so you could feel the heat radiating off of him as he fumed with anger. Hesitation held onto your tongue, preventing you from speaking. How would he react if you were to tell him, to be honest, about what was happening? Would he be angry with you for not telling him sooner? Or would he go on his livestream and call his fans out? It was those uncertainties that prevented you from speaking.

The chill of cold metal brushed over the back of your hand as Geto gently squeezed your trembling hand. With a glance in his direction, you felt some of the air you had been holding inside your lungs escape as he nodded, dark bangs swaying with his movements. He was right—he had been right since the start.

You needed to be honest.

“The comments started after our trip to Sendai,” you confessed, chewing on the inside of your cheek to the nearly painful point.

You waited for him to explode and ask what you were thinking. But that never came. Because your boyfriend was brilliant despite his smugness and ego, the second he read those comments, his mind began racing with different options and outcomes if he did certain things. His mind was working at one hundred twenty percent, and finally, he devised the perfect plan.

“We need Nanami.” He stated bluntly, as if he’d been telling you what he had planned as he dialed a number on his phone. It rang once before the other line was answered. “Heya Nanamin! So I need you to do me a huge favor.” muffled voices came out from the other line. “Why do you assume I'm always in trouble?” More muffled voices, sounding slightly annoyed. “Okay—yes, there was the Sendai incident, and the slime on the trai—okay! Shit, don't list them off. That's not even what I’m calling for.” Gojo dropped his arm over you, pulling you flush against his side. “I need you to tell Tokyo Comic-Con I'll be there with a plus-one with me. Uh-huh yeah, thanks a bunch.”

“What was that all about?” You asked, watching as Gojo quickly typed something on his phone. Your phone buzzed, and you glanced at the screen, jaw-dropping. “Toru! Why the hell did you send me eight hundred dollars?!”

“Oh, I'm giving you back the money you donated to my stream the night we started talking.” He sighed, rubbing his neck. “Well, more like—”

“More like what?” You did not like the look on his face as he smirked.

“More like hiring you to redesign my merch and channel.”

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree

LSIAH Tag List (AGE MUST BE IN BIO):

@witchbybirth @zoeyflower @missmuffinr @kalulakunundrum @matchalatte06 @aussiemeerkat @gojoful @ilovebattison @getoloverr @dottedhalfnotes @sonicsolos @manyno @candy-s72 @smolbeanzzz @ya9amicide @strychnynegirl @jaeminaur

[the-moon-ate-my-stardust]

Okay literally no one asked but as a former Hobbit movie hater who has since experienced character growth, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the movies on my gay little blog.

Listen. There are legit reasons to be critical of these movies. They were made on a rushed timeline, at time where CGI overuse was the thing and there are definitely unnecessary moments. But despite those issues, these movies still have a lot of heart and character and some really wonderful acting! To compare them to LOTR, is unfair I think because LOTR was such an unimaginable success and I truly believe no other movie franchise can do what those movies did. To expect the Hobbit movies to be the same caliber considering the behind the scenes drama and massive difference in timeline is just not it.

Truly I think that the Hobbit could have been much more than it was and it’s sad to see the amazing moments and realize that we could have had movies that were maybe closer to the level of LOTR, but that doesn’t take away from all of the great things that the movies gave us! Despite what he may be like irl, Martin Freeman was a great young Bilbo, Richard Armitage was insanely good as Thorin (despite the change in age) and the other dwarf actors brought a great sense of loyalty, brotherhood and shared loss to their roles. The music is still dope as hell and there are some beautiful shots despite all the CGI.

This is way too long and I’ve not said anything that hasn’t been said before but honestly, I’m so glad that I stopped hating on these movies and have seen the special things about them. Nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but that doesn’t make these movies bad. They’re fun, they’re emotional, they have great characterization and it’s super valid to enjoy them.

Final gay thoughts because I’m obligated, but I struggle with people who argue against Bagginshield with the whole “why does everyone have to make everything gay?” thing. Because Hollywood is so deeply homophobic that we see so little genuine queer representation, so forgive us for enjoying the chemistry we find and making it our own since our society gives us breadcrumbs. If you’re not into Bagginshield, totally legit and fine, but don’t hate on other people (especially queer people) trying to find some romantic love in media that we enjoy. Also no one can convince me that Richard Armitage wasn’t at least somewhat intentionally putting his queer energy into this role, I will die on this hill.

Anyway, TL;DR there’s no shame in liking or loving the Hobbit movies despite their faults and there are lots of things to appreciate and enjoy and I for one, am glad to leave my LOTR purist hater days behind me

[sundrop-writes]

oo! I was just unsure of how you could do it for some of the characters but I trust you to come up with good scenarios, you’re always very creative with them.

So, could I ask for how you think teen wolf characters Stiles, Isaac, Lydia, & Derek would react to finding out reader is pregnant? (could be with their baby, or however else you think up bc ofc Lydia can’t get anyone pregnant 😂)

And no you are not alone. I really like pregnancy and baby fics, which is why I was wondering, but I was still a bit worried you weren’t up for it for this particular fandom! It’s very fun to read about having an imaginary family with my fav characters and the variety of diff scenarios that could lead to it.

'I'm sure you could come up with something good' - and the first time I read this message, I came up with something delightfully insane for Lydia. so strap in omg

I am also glad that I'm not the only one who likes pregnancy and kid fics!!! I think they are so much fun because it has elements of drama and fluff and caring. It's such a nice soup of emotions. I really hope you like what I have done here.

Teen Wolf requests are OPEN. Please read my Rules before requesting!

How would the pack react to finding out that you're pregnant with their baby?

Included: Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, and Derek Hale.

Warnings: usually I do GN readers for reactions but this one called for fem!reader - the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina (and has the ability to get pregnant); in Lydia's section, the reader is a werewolf; mentions of the reader having typical pregnancy symptoms; sexual themes (baby making - duh), some sentences that could be considered smutty?; I think Isaac's part is the longest because we know I have a fucking soft spot for him; mentions of unprotected sex (again - duh); mentions of the abuse Isaac experienced from his father (not detailed); umm idk what else - generally mature themes? But no major warnings other than that.

Stiles would freeze up. He would be so unsure how to react to the information that for a while, he wouldn't react at all.

When the words came out of your mouth, he thought he had misheard you.

"Stiles, I - I'm pregnant."

"What?" He gaped in response.

"I'm pregnant." You affirmed gently.

He sat there, frozen with shock, and didn't say anything for a long time.

He was overwhelmed with too many thoughts and emotions. He wanted to be happy, but he felt like he wasn't ready for this. But he also wasn't ready for half the things that had happened to him in life so far - being kidnapped (more than once), having friends die or nearly die around him, being possessed by a thousand year old demon and fighting to be freed.

This was good, right?

It was you. He wanted you, he wanted everything that came with a life with you.

But it was so soon.

His dad was going to kill him.

"Stiles, say something, please-" You begged quietly, and when your eyes began to brim with tears, that broke him free from his horrible shock.

He couldn't stand to see you hurt. He jumped off the bed and swept you into a hug, holding you tight. Instinctively, you squeezed him back, seeking the comfort that always came from his touch.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry." He said, whispering into your neck. "I'm sorry, I know this is bad-"

"You think it's bad?" You posed in return, misconstruing his words. "So - so you don't want to keep it?"

His heart shook in his chest.

Of all the things he had been thinking, that was not one of them.

"No." He said sharply, pulling away from the hug to get a good look at your tearful face. Your features were still twisted with pain, and he absolutely hated it. "I just - I just meant that you're upset, and that's bad."

"Well - what about the pregnancy part?" You asked urgently. "What do you think about that part?"

"It's scary as hell." He answered honestly. Your lip quivered, and he rushed to say more. "But for once in my life, I think it's the good kind of scary, like - like roller coasters or scary movies where you know nobody actually gets hurt, or - or spicy hot wings." He rambled on. "I'm terrified, but I think this is gonna be amazing. There's nobody else that I'd rather have a baby with than you."

Saying the word 'baby' out loud made it all terribly real.

You gave him a wet, tearful smile, and then pulled him into a kiss.

Isaac would be upset and insecure.

After you told him, Isaac ran - he ditched out of your bedroom window, leaving you alone and tearful, and after you spent days in bed sobbing (your sadness likely multiplied by the pregnancy hormones), you would be determined to track him down. Even if he didn't agree to be a father, even if he didn't own up to it, at the very least, you needed to finish the conversation you had started. You needed closure - the end of the relationship, if that's what he wanted.

After days of him dodging you, you finally managed to catch him at Derek's loft. It was clear that he wanted to run again, but Derek's words about owning up to his responsibilities were ringing in his ears, and he decided that at the very least, he owed you an explanation. He would give you the conversation you so desperately wanted.

"What the fuck, Isaac?" You barked at him, tears edging in your eyes again at seeing him for the first time in a week. "What the hell is wrong with you? I-"

"You really want me to run down that fucking laundry list now?" He snapped, more bitter and rage fuelled than you had ever seen him. His voice caused chills down your spine. "Because I'm surprised it's taken you this long to notice one thing, let alone half of it!"

This was not the man who you had fallen in love with. This wasn't your sweet, loving Isaac. This wasn't the man who had taken you to bed, kissed over every inch of your body, made you so ripe with passion that something like a condom felt insignificant compared to the cosmos you saw in his eyes as he pushed his cock inside of you.

"Isaac, what are you talking about?" You asked, your voice small, barely edging above a whisper as you stared him down carefully, searching through his eyes - wondering if everything before this had just been an act to get you into bed.

All you saw boiling up inside of him was hurt, and it made you ache too.

"I don't expect you to know." He sighed fitfully, shaking his head.

You put a hand over your stomach, a protective instinct, and his gaze focused there. Regret splashed up inside of him, and he couldn't contain his next words.

"When you told me you were pregnant, did you expect the fucking sun to shine down and angels to sing and some fucking - Hallmark bullshit?" He questioned, clearly jaded.

You hadn't expected that, but you hadn't expected him to run away. Part of you expected him to be happy.

"I can't be happy about this." He told you, almost as if reading your mind. "I have shitty, horrible DNA. I'm a monster, Y/N." You gave him a puzzled look, and he continued. "I'm not talking about the werewolf thing - my father was a horrible person. You know that. I can't be around a kid. I can't have a baby. I can't risk it."

He said the last part softly, that terrible regret lacing his voice, and suddenly, in that moment, it all became crystal clear to you. He thought his father's abusive ways would be hereditary.

Your chest clenched with a horrible pain, and you wandered across the room toward him, and instinctively, he backed away from you.

"Don't." He said, continuing to eye your stomach sharply. You realized now that he thought he was protecting your baby by staying away from it, staying away from you.

You inched toward him again, this time managing to snag his hand, which you brought to place flat on your stomach. You were early in your pregnancy, not showing (your stomach not any different than it normally would be) - but something wolfish inside of him flared with protectiveness, something could sense that different thing about you. It was subtle, but he could feel and hear another heartbeat under his palm. He wanted to run again, but feeling this, being so close - it caused him to relax against you, instinctively wrapping his other arm around your shoulders and pulling you close.

"Isaac, you're nothing like your father." You told him quietly. "You're not going to hurt our baby-"

"But what if I do?" He argued, his voice cracking with fear.

"You won't." You assured him. "We both know that you won't."

Lydia would be shocked - in denial. Because - what the fuck is happening? This shouldn't be scientifically possible, right? Right?

At first, she was convinced that you cheated on her. She freaked out about that. She screamed at you, threw things. You cried because you hated that she was accusing you of such a horrible crime, even if you understood why (to an extent). She shouldn't be able to get you pregnant, so it was perfectly sane to think that you had cheated on her with a guy during the course of your relationship - even though you hadn't. This was crazy. This shouldn't be possible.

When you had first started feeling the symptoms - the nausea, the irritability, the generally off feeling, something that kept nagging at you and had all of your senses on edge, you hadn't even thought to take a pregnancy test. Even when you missed your period, you assumed that it was stress, not eating right... a laundry list of other things before you would have assumed this.

But then - Derek pulled you aside and asked why you smelled like that. He said the only other time he had smelled it was when he was much younger - before the fire, when one of his aunts was pregnant. You told him that it wasn't possible, and he told you that his nose never lied.

So - driven crazy by the thought, and believing it to be impossible, you peed on the stupid little stick. And then another, and then another, entirely in disbelief. And when you dumped a bunch of pee covered sticks onto Scott's Mom's kitchen counter, much to her horror, asking her if there was any way they could be wrong. She told you it was unlikely, but took you to the hospital to get you a blood test, and when it came back positive, she asked you who the father was.

She gave you that same fish-gaped mouth when you told her.

"Lydia." You sighed. "Lydia is the father. She's the only person I've ever had sex with."

And this left you and Lydia in Derek's kitchen with him and Stiles, with your positive blood test sitting in the middle of the counter, Stiles pouring over every book he could find on the subject - all of you irritably confused.

"How?" Lydia gaped, still in shock. "How?"

"I don't know." Derek shrugged. "You tell me."

"And - and you didn't cheat on me?" Lydia asked you, still believing this to be the most logical answer.

"Yes." Derek answered, cutting you off. "She's not lying. That much I can tell you."

You were glad that he backed you up on this, but it still left everyone confused and searching for answers.

"Look, okay, Lydia - you survived the Alpha bite, you have some weird immunity." Stiles said, pausing between his frantic page flipping. "Maybe... this is what happens when you have sex with a werewolf?"

Lydia scoffed and you hid your face in your hands with embarrassment. You wondered if it had something to do with the full moon. The last time - you had been so full of energy, pulsing with power as the moon came to its fullness overhead, and you had pinned her down, spent hours rubbing your cunt raw against hers. But you never thought that anything the two of you did could result in a pregnancy.

"Maybe it would help if you tell me exactly what you two did?" Stiles suggested - he was thinking of it from a theoretical, scientific standpoint, not realizing how perverted this sounded until after it left his lips.

"Really?!" Lydia glared at him.

You picked up a nearby vase and threw it at him without hesitation, and he dodged it, causing it to smash against the wall behind his head, disintegrating into dust.

"Okay, bad idea!"

"Just shut up and keep reading."

Derek would be intensely protective. From the second the words came out of your mouth, the entire axis of his world shifted. Everything became about you and protecting you and your unborn baby.

"Derek, I think I'm pregnant."

Everything suddenly made sense. The change in your scent, the odd way you had been acting, the fact that you had been sick recently.

He couldn't contain the deep, feral growl he let out - the way his eyes lit up as the news fully overtook him. The flash of red made you mistake him as angry, and your entire body sagged.

"Look, I'm sorry, but this isn't just my fault-" You hissed sharply at him, and he cut you off by sealing his lips over your own, smothering you in an intense, hot, confusing kiss.

Of course he knew that it wasn't 'just your fault'. The two of you had sex plenty of times, but if he wasn't mistaken, he remembered the night vividly well-

You thought it would be funny to tease him by tempting him with a chase through the woods, and it ended with you stomach down in a clearing, your cheek pressed against the dirt while he fucked into you roughly from behind, growling warnings in your ear, telling you not to tease him again. (Which only made you want to do it again, and again.)

"Don't be sorry, moonflower." He mumbled against your lips, using his nickname for you. "Don't ever be sorry about this."

The passion that overtook his voice sent chills down your spine. You were speechless.

"Derek?" You questioned, a quiet chirp that almost died off in your throat.

"From now on, you don't leave my sight, do you understand me?" He said, gently running his knuckles across your face, as sweet and soothing as you had ever seen him.

Before, he had been subtle in his protection of you. Reaching over to snap on your seatbelt before you could do it yourself, always putting an arm around you, especially in the face of danger, making sure that he walked in front of you if thought there might be a threat around. He had never been this outright passionate about his protection of you before.

But he would never risk the life of his unborn child - he would never let anybody come between him and the woman who was going to mother that child. It was a sacred bond now.

"Yes, of course." You couldn't help but to agree.

Then, Derek surprised you when he knelt down in front of you, placing his forehead on your stomach and gently closing his eyes as if partaking in the solitude of prayer. Which, he was - uttering silent promises to your unborn child, worshipping at the altar of the powerful, beautiful woman who was going to bring that baby into this world.

It left you speechless once again, and all you could do was run your fingers through his hair, further adding to his peace.

[learnyouabiology]

Fun Fact: Hognose snakes are dramatic lil guys!

I am particularly fond of the snakes known as hognose snakes, and my reasons are both understandable and correct.

This is a hognose snake:

(They received their name by having the sweetest lil snoot to ever require a boop – image source)

They use these adorable snoots to burrow under sandy soil using a sort of nuzzle-y motion. They then use these burrows as a place to sleep at night, hibernate in the winter, and lay their eggs. 

(you could say they’re into... the Underground Scene! ...ok yeah i’ll show myself out – image source)

Plus, they come in a variety of delightful colours!

We've got brown! Beige! Yellow! Black! Red! Orange! Tan! Kinda greenish! Orange again!

(pretty sneks! – Here’s all the image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

And, to be clear, the snakes pictured above are wild snakes. No selective breeding by humans in these noodly bois! At least, not in these specific individuals. probably. I guess a few of them could be escapees... 

But most importantly: These snakes know the true meaning of DRAMA

Hognose snakes are actors, first and foremost. When they feel threatened, the first thing they do is puff out their neck into a hood. 

(like cobras, this hood is made by FLEXING THEIR NECK RIBS. which: gross – image source x)

This superficially makes them look like a cobra, but what they’re actually trying to do is make themselves seem bigger, and therefore scarier. Possibly those dark spots on their neck helps with that! 

Any resemblance to real-life Eurasian cobras, real or fictional, is purely coincidental

Also, it makes its mouth do this:

(Snakes that SCREAAAAAAAM. – image source)

honestly, if I didn’t already know that hognose snakes were harmless, this would ABSOLUTELY make me leave it the hell alone 

But if all of that^ is unsuccessful at scaring away the predator, the hognose snake pulls its signature move: playing dead

If you think that is a lame signature move, then you are wrong, because hognose snakes put EVERYTHING into their performance and I love them for it.

(they’re serious, they’ll do it!  – image source)

((I’m actually going to stick the rest of this under a read-more, bc the pictures of the alive-and-physically-fine hognose snakes do kind of look like a legitimately-dead hognose snake, if you don’t know what to look for. 

So, uh: cw for a snake being too good at pretending to be dead))

Behold: a series of completely healthy, unharmed snakes!!!

(to help with their self-esteem, we ask that you at least pretend to believe that they are dead – image sources 1, 2, 3, 4)

Honestly, the photos don’t do it justice. Here’s my favourite video of the whole wonderous performance: 

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But to review:

There's writhing! There's dramatic noises! There's flipping onto their back and opening their mouth wide and letting their tongue hang out! There's excreting a combination of  intentionally smelly substances!!! Truly a master of the art of being left the hell alone (*^▽^*)

(yep. deeeeefinitely dead. not just faking it. nothing worth eating here! – image source)

Personally, my favourite part of this is how they insist on rolling onto their back, even when they are rolled back onto their stomach. 

Seriously, if you try to roll them right-side-up, they will flip back over. It's as though they believe that a good, proper dead snek MUST be on its back, obviously.

(truly fearsome – image source)

Sadly, the hognose snake may have made itself too scary, according to humans.

Out of fear, these snakes are commonly killed on sight 😔. I once heard someone proudly brag about how they’d killed a dozen cobras! In southern Ontario! Where cobras do not live! This is both extremely frustrating and deeply sad.

(safe enough to hold! although maybe don’t, just because this snake IS probably experiencing mortal fear, which is not a good feeling – image source © Dean Stavrides)

So just to highlight: hognose snakes are completely harmless. They’re just pretending to be fearsome!

(not that people should be killing venomous snakes either, imo. Let the danger noodles LIVE THEIR LIVES)

(i is baybee, pls do not hurt me – image source)

And now some bonus facts to help raise us out of that downer:

Hognose snakes are toad specialists! Their favourite food is toads, which is unusual, because toads are poisonous. Hognose snakes deal with this by force of will and also, at least two amino acid substitutions, maybe (Mohammadi et al. 2016). Possibly a few other things help with this, also (Feldman et al. 2016).

(is snek eat toad? or does toad wearing cape of snek? impossible to tell, really – image source)

Also, I have a confession: hognose snakes... are venomous. Technically.

(itty bitty little fangs at the veeeeery back of their mouth!  – image source)

They are known as rear-fanged snakes, which means they have fangs aaaall the way at the back of their mouth. The venom they produce seems to be toad-specific, and is considered to be harmless to humans unless you happen to have an allergy but that's the exception rather than the rule

(the two hognose species. They are both baybee, but in different ways actually there might be more than two species but these are the two i’ve actually learned about so ALL WELL   – image source)

Also, hognose snakes are big cowards NOT aggressive and I've never even heard of anyone getting bit by a one (outside of one feeding mishap, which we can all agree was an ACCIDENT). 

The series of events that would need to occur for you to be envenomated are so unlikely and bizarre that I assume you would have to be TRYING to get bit.

This has been Fun Fact Friday, bringing you the forbidden noodly boys to try and keep them a little more safe!

.....................................................................

Sources, because I know me and SO DO YOU:

Averill-Murray, R. C. (2006). Natural history of the western hog-nosed snake (Heterodon nasicus) with notes on envenomation. Sonoran Herpetologist, 19(9), 98-101.

Buchanan, Scott W.; Timm, Brad C.; Cook, Robert P.; Couse, Richard; Hazard, Lisa C. (2017). Spatial ecology and habitat selection of eastern hognose snakes. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 81(3), 509–520. doi:10.1002/jwmg.21218 

CHS: Canadian Herpetological Society https://canadianherpetology.ca/species/species_page.html?cname=Eastern%20Hog-nosed%20Snake

COSEWIC. 2021. COSEWIC assessment and status report on the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake Heterodon platirhinos in Canada. Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada. Ottawa. xi + 45 pp.  https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry/cosewic-assessments-status-reports/eastern-hog-nosed-snake-2021.html

Cunnington, G. M., & Cebek, J. E. (2005). Mating and nesting behavior of the eastern hognose snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in the northern portion of its range. The American midland naturalist, 154(2), 474-478.

Feldman, C. R., Durso, A. M., Hanifin, C. T., Pfrender, M. E., Ducey, P. K., Stokes, A. N., ... & Brodie Jr, E. D. (2016). Is there more than one way to skin a newt? Convergent toxin resistance in snakes is not due to a common genetic mechanism. Heredity, 116(1), 84-91. 

 Jared, C., Luiz Mailho‐Fontana, P., & Maria Antoniazzi, M. (2021). Differences between poison and venom: An attempt at an integrative biological approach. Acta Zoologica, 102(4), 337-350.

Liu, C., Chen, Y., Zheng, Y., Bo, J., Yang, C., Xu, S., & Zhang, S. (2022). Wear Resistance Improvement of Keeled Structure and Overlapped Distribution of Snake Scales. Journal of Bionic Engineering, 1-11. Citing abstract.

Mohammadi, S., Gompert, Z., Gonzalez, J., Takeuchi, H., Mori, A., & Savitzky, A. H. (2016). Toxin-resistant isoforms of Na+/K+-ATPase in snakes do not closely track dietary specialization on toads. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 283(1842), 20162111. 

 Nature Conservancy of Canada: https://www.natureconservancy.ca/en/what-we-do/resource-centre/featured-species/reptiles-and-amphibians/eastern-hog-nosed-snake.html

Plummer, M. V., & Mills, N. E. (1996). Observations on trailing and mating behaviors in hognose snakes (Heterodon platirhinos). Journal of Herpetology, 30(1), 80-82.

Rouse, Jeremy D.; Willson, Robert J.; Black, Ron; Brooks, Ronald J.  (2011). Movement and Spatial Dispersion of Sistrurus catenatus and Heterodon platirhinos: Implications for Interactions with Roads. Copeia, 2011(3), 443–456. doi:10.1643/ce-09-036     

Seburn, D. 2008. Recovery Strategy for the Eastern Hog-nosed Snake (Heterodon platirhinos) in Canada. Species at Risk Act Recovery Strategy Series. Parks Canada Agency, Ottawa. vi + 24pp.

Schwartz, V. & D. Golden (2002). Field Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians of New Jersey. New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife

VHS: Virginia herpetological society http://www.virginiaherpetologicalsociety.com/reptiles/snakes/eastern-hog-nosed-snake/eastern_hognose_snake.php#:~:text=Heterodon%20is%20derived%20from%20the%20Greek%20words%20heteros,meaning%20%22broad%20or%20flat%22%20and%20rhinos%20meaning%20%22snout%22

Young, R. A. (1992). Effects of Duvernoy's gland secretions from the eastern hognose snake, Heterodon platirhinos, on smooth muscle and neuromuscular junction. Toxicon, 30(7), 775-779. https://doi.org/10.1016/0041-0101(92)90013-U

Young, B. A., & Morain, M. (2003). Vertical burrowing in the Saharan sand vipers (Cerastes). Copeia, 2003(1), 131-137.

SARA: threatened https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/species-risk-public-registry.html

[nicromancytarot]

WILL YOU DATE YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings.

PICK A PILE CHANNELING

I asked my spirit guides if you would ever stumble across the opportunity of dating your celebrity crush, pick a pile to find out what they had to say!!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6

Pile 7 ———> Pile 8 ———> Pile 9

DISCLAIMER: This is purely for fun and entertainment, this is based on where you are now in your life, as free will can affect your path. This is not to fuel anyone’s parasocial behaviour.

PILE 1

3 of swords, 6 of cups, 4 of wands, judgement, 6 of pentacles, the magician

Yes!

I do see this being a possibility of an opportunity which will come up for you. With the 3 of swords I see this celebrity coming into your life more prominently after a heartbreak, something I believe will be you having experienced. The 6 of cups gives me the thought that your celebrity crush will be the person to help build you back up again, and help you become the person you were before. The 4 of wands is marriage dude, you guys have a high possibility of not only dating, but also marrying your desired celebrity.

Your relationship seems to be one that you have prayed or manifested for, the universe listened to you. Honestly you might have tried to manifest someone with the characteristics, and appearance of your celebrity crush, but the universe was just kind of like “fuck it, let’s just give them the real deal.”

PILE 2

The knight of wands reversed, page of pentacles, queen of cups, queen of wands, ace of pentacles, 7 of swords

Yes!

I see this being something you will have the opportunity to experience. With the knight of wands reversed, I would say in order to be with your celebrity crush, you would have to release an ex of yours, it’s as if you have a choice to either try something new, or stick with the old.

This ex of yours may have caused you a lot of drama and trouble in the past, your celebrity crush is the opposite, with the page of pentacles, and the queen of cups, I can see that they offer you stability in all forms, unlike the ex of yours.

I do see that this relationship won’t be all you would expect it to be, not in a bad way, but your celebrity doesn’t seem as though they are their real self when they are posing for cameras or talking to their fans, it’s nothing bad, they are just a lot different than what you expected.

However, I do think this will be a long term relationship, and you will feel very comfortable with them, as they shall with you.

PILE 3

The lovers reversed, the knight of pentacles in reversed, 6 of swords, ace of pentacles, the king of wands, the wheel of fortune

No.

I unfortunately do not see this as something you will have the opportunity of experiencing, I see there will already be someone in your life by the time you even could possibly have the opportunity, I’m feeling a lot of young Pedro Pescal fans here. This other person in your love life is being described as your person, your soulmate, your future spouse. You will not want this celebrity by the time you have this person.

With the knight of pentacles in reverse, and the 6 of swords, I do not think you have the patience to wait until you are old enough to be with this person, and therefore your path will be diverted to meet your own person.

PILE 4

7 of wands, the high priestess, the page of wands, 6 of wands, death, the star

Yes!

I do see this being an opportunity that you will have the privilege of experiencing. With the seven of wands, I do feel as though you will have to work to get it however, same goes with the high priestess, you may even manifest this person, intentionally or unintentionally.

With the death and the star, I do see that you will be mentally transformed into a different person when in this relationship, your celebrity may be older or more mature than you, they will help you be more wise like them lmao.

PILE 5

The chariot, the page of wands, the ace of wands, the star, the knight of pentacles, the queen of cups

No.

I do not see you having the opportunity of experiencing dating your celebrity crush. With the chariot and page of wands, I honestly think you’ll be too busy doing other things by the time that your able to meet this person. With the page of wands, it’s like you’re creating something else, building a relationship, perhaps career by this point. The ace of wands shows me a quick moving on, so honestly you may even be over this celebrity in a few months-years.

The star, again with self improvement, this person really won’t be that important in your life soon. They could get cancelled or something, turn out to be a bad person, and therefore dating them won’t really align with your beliefs.

PILE 6

10 pentacles, 9 wands, 5 swords reversed, 5 wands, the world, the knight of cups

Yes!

I do see the ability of you receiving the opportunity to date your celebrity crush. With the 10 of pentacles, I can see you honestly might meet this person, feeling a sense of excitement, but not much expectation, perhaps they will ask for your number, or they will initiate more of a conversation with you. You’ll go home to you family and friends, telling them about this crazy experience.

I see they will be quick to contact you again, with the 9 of wands, and the 5 of swords reversed, I can tell that they might be wanting to let you know how serious they are about pursuing you, which is why they contact you so quickly.

With the knight of cups, they will most likely be the one to actually ask you to be in a relationship with them, they will be the one to initiate the commitment, showing you once again how serious they are to make this a long term thing. With the world I notice that this relationship, and the attention alone from your celebrity crush, will be making you have a lot more self love, and it will help you if you have suffered from self doubt and self hatred in the past.

PILE 7

Death reversed, the queen of cups reversed, 8 of swords, the sun, the ace of cups, the wheel of fortune

No.

I unfortunately don’t see you having the opportunity to be in a relationship with your celebrity crush. With death in reverse, along with the queen of cups also in reverse, it seems that you may still be a fan of this person by the time you perhaps meet them, or are old enough to date them. Being a fan of this person at that time would not offer you any stability in your relationship, and the power dynamic would be very evident.

The 8 of swords is showing me that this relationship would make either of you feel very isolated, almost like they have to be careful around you since you’re a fan, or you put them on a pedestal since they’re your idol.

The sun, the ace of cups, and the wheel of fortune are telling me that you will achieve everything you desire, other than dating this person of course. I see that this person can totally help you mentally in the way that you approach relationships, they may even offer you advice, or tips, in a non parasocial way, as I do not believe you will ever know this person on a personal level.

PILE 8

9 of pentacles, 2 of wands reversed, 6 of cups, the queen of wands, 7 of swords, the knight of pentacles

Yes!

I do see this being an opportunity for you to be able to experience. With the 9 of pentacles, it definitely seems like a very flourishing relationship, one filled with a lot of happiness, and abundance in all forms.

I do unfortunately with the 2 of wands in reverse believe that this may be a short lived relationship, it will certainly feel worth it’s time, and such an incredible thing for both parties to have experienced, however I do not think it will last long.

With the 6 of cups in contrast with the 7 of swords, I do think this will be a connection which will help you see your own worth, deal with past trauma and betrayal, perhaps even teaching both you want in relationships. It will be one of those things that you always look back on and think about with a smile, however I don’t imagine it will last forever.

PILE 9

Strength, the tower, the queen of swords, the hierophant, 4 of cups, the chariot

Yes!

I do see you facing this possibility in the future. This is an odd pile, an interesting one, but certainly something different. I think you will be working within the same space as this person by the time you meet, or you will know people who work with them, creating some mutual friend group.

I think with the strength card, and the tower, you will honestly be trying to act normal around this person, trying your hardest not to make it clear that you used to be a fan of them, or even that you are currently still a fan of them.

I notice that they may pick up on your nervous energy, they seem like a picky person with the 4 of cups, so they may like that you’re not paying much mind to them, they’re very used to people jumping all over them, so your celebrity certainly respects your distance from them, although they feel like that creates a challenge for them to conquer.

This will be very unexpected for you, you may even think you’re dreaming when it happens, however I see this being a long-lived connection, one of many abundances and dreams to be fulfilled.

I’m also picking up that they may think it’s comical that you were such a big fan of them, but they really, really like it.

[sserajeans]

just for a moment

hanni pham x fem! reader

synopsis: you and your co-star are tasked to make a song for your web drama's soundtrack. your co-star happens to be a childhood friend whom you've had history with.

genre + others: lsrfm! reader, idol au, childhood friends to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, second chance ish?

notes: not requested, PLS READ THE LYRICS IT'LL MATTER!!!!, how i look delaying yail update 😂😂, also yes another hsmtmts inspired oneshot, pics from @/wiotas

"what do we even fucking write about?"

"y/n..."

"sorry..."

how did you get here? glad you asked!

it's the year 2025, and a team of producers at hybe are on the works for a minor project: a web drama promoting support for the lgbtq+.

you've talked about how odd it was to your best friend, and groupmate, yunjin.

"probably good for publicity, girl. like 'make everyone know we're not homophobic!' kinda thing." was all she had to say about it, which was likely true anyways.

you were convinced the casting was done at random honestly, but it was obvious they wanted a mix of groups to garner more attention. and that landed you the lead role with, you guessed it, ms. hanni pham!

why you two when you each had members who fit the actress role better? well, that's where you thought the random part came to play.

filming wasn't much of an issue. you were comfortable with hanni, and you two worked well on and off screen, just as expected considering your history. the director even pointed out your "remarkable chemistry", but she didn't have to know why it was that way.

as a matter of fact, you guys were about to wrap up in a few days. it was a wild past couple of weeks, but it was nice to get to spend more time with hanni again.

i mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like you two cut each other off when you moved to korea, but the talking definitely decreased, and the filming made up for lost time!

now, on one of the last days of filming, your respective managers sat you two in a conference room together, and dropped the news that you'd have to compose a new song just for the web drama's soundtrack.

the task in itself didn't bother you at all, and you were sure it didn't bother hanni too. you two were experienced in songwriting and composing, your names on a couple of song credits to count, so this was actually much easier than acting.

the issue was that you had enough going on for certain... feelings to resurface.

you see, the plot of the web drama hit a little too close to home for you. i mean seriously, childhood friends with feelings for each other, but couldn't take things further due to complications, then having to work together acting in some play.

it sounded a lot like your story.

hell, they even had your character do swimming! the same sport you excelled in back in australia.

the only reason nothing has gotten too awkward on that note yet, was because of your other labelmates being there like boynextdoor's leehan, minji and danielle, even your fellow members kazuha and yunjin.

with them around, you got to reconnect with hanni, but with a couple safe boundaries! now that you two were tasked to work on something alone though? you were scared things were going to be different.

so that's what brought you two here, together, in the music room. hanni seated facing the table with a pen and paper, you on the floor with your guitar in hand.

you were strumming to any chord shape that could come to mind in hopes of finding a melody that you could build off of, and hanni was tapping the end of her pencil on her forehead for any word, lyric, or rhyme that could work.

nothing came.

so engrossed in your respective tasks, the two of you didn't notice a shadow behind the translucent door, so when a knock came, you levitated off the floor for a millisecond, and hanni let out a soft yelp.

"hey you two~"

huh yunjin.

"how are my besties doing!" she came in doing a little dance, first walking over to check on what hanni was writing before landing on the floor beside you.

"we're stuck." you muttered, head against the wall behind you.

"oh... i see." yunjin shrugged her eyebrows in confusion, because she had just came from peeking over at hanni's notebook and was 100% sure she had lines written down.

"well, let's see... you got the genre down that suits the two of you so there's that. romance obviously sells, so there's that too. maybe you guys should try... writing while in character?" yunjin did her best to help the two of you, as the mutual best friend and seasoned singer-songwriter. "or if there's an experience you guys have had before, that would definitely help. real raw emotion ya know?"

"anyways," the eldest huffed and got up from the floor, messing up your hair and hanni's before heading for the door to leave the room. "i gotta get going. you two don't come home too late okay?"

you and hanni nodded before resuming. after a couple minutes, you realized that maybe you two will have to be communicating more if it meant writing a song together.

"hey han, do you have anything written?" hanni froze for a second before turning around on her chair.

truth was she did. she wrote them down specifically as yunjin started telling you two to write based on experiences.

"i... uh... kind of? just a couple lines, i don't know how i feel about them though."

"can i take a look? might help a bit."

"oh yeah... sure..."

there was a hint of hesitance in her voice, but it'd look awfully suspicious if she scratched out lines right before you'd check.

"ah..." the initial reaction was surprise for you, and a million thoughts came racing through your head.

"yeah! it's nothing much... but i figured it was better than nothing...."

"no yeah! for sure! i'm kinda getting the vibe, wait here." you turned around and picked up your guitar from the floor and took a seat beside hanni. "uhm... okay let's try... this?"

you freestyled a riff on your guitar, allowing your fingers to move on its own to play what felt right. it resulted in one of the most simple yet enchanting melodies that seemed perfect for your song's intro.

"hey that sounds perfect! i love it!" hanni cheered and gave you a thumbs up. "okay so... since you're doing your little guitar intro, perhaps we have the first line written in your character's point of view?"

"sure... okay... uhm..." it took you a couple seconds to think of something, or to get in character on the spot. but then you remembered yunjin's advice.

an experience you guys have had before.

"uh... how's this..." you fiddled with your hands as hanni nodded along, telling you to go on with your suggestion. after about half a minute, you had a two-liner with some sort of melody that matched your guitar intro. "i fell in love with the only girl who knows what i'm about."

hanni froze for a second, which didn't go unnoticed by you, but continued nodding along as she wrote down the lines. "i like your voice in this genre."

"oh..." you looked up from your guitar and faced her side profile as she was still facing her notebook. you felt your face warm a little, but not too much for it to gain color. "that's a lot coming from you. i have your lee mujin service episode on loop."

hanni smiled, a sight you'd never get tired of seeing. "a fan, huh? which part's your favorite?" she turned to look at you, a smirk on her face to mask the flustered and proud version of herself having received praise for her work from you of all people.

she continued writing a line underneath yours, a sudden burst of inspiration coming over her.

"probably lucky."

of course it's the song about being in love with your best friend.

she chuckled at your answer. hanni wasn't dense, and she knew you weren't either.

okay maybe you were, just slightly, but you pick up on context clues.

but point is, she knew what that implied, and what everything that came between the two of you the past few weeks could've felt like for you.

but just as she was getting somewhere, her train of thought was interrupted by your "burst of epiphany", as one would call it.

"oh hey, hear this out. i think it sounds like chorus material." you tapped her shoulder and positioned your hands across the frets of your guitar. you sounded a lot happier, more energy than you did earlier in the day as you finally got a feel of what to write and play.

when we're underneath the lights, my heart's no longer broken, for a moment, just for a moment

in that moment, hanni's mind rushed with too many emotions. objectively, the melody was beautiful. your voice made it better, the guitar felt like it had a voice of its own, and the lyrics. god, the lyrics.

she knew for sure you felt what she felt.

the two of you stayed in that music room a couple more hours, discovering a new type of comfort in a person the other has always known. like reading a book you've had forever, and feeling a newfound joy in a character that has always been there.

by the end of the day, you and hanni seemed to have switched roles, your guitar in her hands, and her notebook in yours.

you were finishing up a final copy of the first half of the song along with chords in case you'd forget the sound. there was also a copy of the both of you singing on your respective voice note apps. (which, unbeknownst to you, would be on repeat for hanni later that night.)

"here we go." you sighed, it took a lot of effort trying to make handwriting like yours legible. you've always hated it. teachers back in elementary all throughout high school would always mark your papers low despite almost flawless answers, just for your handwriting.

"i've always liked your handwriting..." hanni muttered as she admired your written work, unknowingly smiling to herself.

"oh.. thanks. i've always hated it."

"i know." hanni looked up at you, observing the sheepish smile on your face. she knew all about why you hated it, and she understood, but to her, it was an art. a part of you. she thought, "that's why i like it."

there was partial truth into that. besides it being a funny add-on to hanni's compliment, it's always been her thing to love stuff about you that you hated, even if it was something as small as handwriting.

back when you two were together (or whatever that was you had back in australia before you left, neither of you stuck a label on it), she'd always talk long speeches about how your handwriting was an art. something so significantly you that you shouldn't change, and that even if you hated it, she'd love it twice as much in place of you.

as you two shared a couple more laughs, a notification popped up on both of your phones. yours first, then hanni's a second later.

a snort accidentally escaped your system as you read the texts. "sorry.. is it yunjin?"

hanni let out the loudest laugh before nodding and exchanging phones with you to read what the older sent to the other. it was the same message in different forms, panicking to get you home before chaewon freaked out and took it out on yunjin, then proceeding to fear minji and her "wrath".

despite laughing at your member's worry, the two of you stood up to pack up, which really didn't take much anyways. you slid your guitar in its case, hanni hid her notebook in her bag.

walking out of the room to the lobby together side by side was probably the most stomach-churning activity of the day. and you literally had to write a love song about each other with each other. but there was something in the way it felt when your hands touched.

as you reached the part of the building where you finally had to part ways, the two of you faced each other. both expecting something, but not quite sure with what they were expecting.

"i.. uh... it was nice to reconnect today." she started off, awfully awkward at it too.

"yeah... it was..." you smiled, hand reaching for the back of your neck to scratch. a nervous habit. "i'll let you know if i think of anything tonight."

"yeah, same here." hanni nodded back, though a pinch of disappointment evident on her face. maybe she was expecting more, or maybe it was too soon. "see you tomorrow?"

"yeah... see ya." you slowly turned around, head racing.

should you say something? should you save it for another time? would it make things awkward tomorrow?

screw it. live in the present, right?

"han... for the record, my heart does still stop when i see you."

[emositecc]

God I fucking hate Victoria the crybaby so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every page she's in, every scene, every fanart, every comic, she's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass personality on her stupid green face. Absolutely no part of her ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. Her stupid fucking dress? Who the hell wears a dress like that. Her dumb fucking lizard tail? Her shitty, annoying bastard attitude ? The three thousand percent dumbass shitass fucking haircut that no woman has EVER FUCKING SHITTY HAIR DESING HAD IN THE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate her. I hate her so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a comic or a fanart of her, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Boo hoo, I'm Bitchtoria the fuckshit whiny ass woman, woe is me. PITY ME 😢😢😢😢". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like shrek but if shrek was written by vivziepop. Your dumb fucking hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking dress and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top shitty ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene she's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a walmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know she's just a shitty fucking sad woman in a stupid fucking fan comic, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate her. I hate hier on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the bitch wife is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate her so much. I hate her so, so fucking much. I want to light her ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat her to death with her own stupid fucking punchable face. I want to punch her to death. I want to bash her brains out. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that her existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional woman

you've gone on sending me these kinds of messages in my ask box everytime i've updated my comic, even mentioning r*pe in your latest ones. At first I thought this is a bit, but now i honestly dont know. I think you need help and for your own good and mine, I'm going to be blocking you.

This probably wont stop you from reading my comic in other platforms but if you still do, please refrain from messaging me or whatnot because I will just block you again.

okay, thank you.

^ and that's not even ALL of it.

there's like 50+ more

get help.

[gffa]

The real duality of Genshin fandom: God-tier levels of art that I've never seen in another fandom just in a constant absolute tsunami every single day VERSUS every single drama youtuber talking about the 4.4 Lantern Rite drama has been the most insufferable person on earth. I want so badly to be a bigger part of this fandom, but every time it's the same process: One step in, this is great! Look at all this stunningly gorgeous art! Two steps in, look at all this fic, so much to read! Three steps in, these lore videos are phenomenal! Four steps in, have you seen some of the fan animations in this fandom?? Five steps in, smacked in the face like a wet dishrag of people wanking about how you're shipping the wrong pairing. Six steps in, insufferable youtubers who act like being compassionate towards others is a crime or honestly enjoying Genshin means you're stupid. Seven steps in, if you don't interpret this character exactly to my specific headcanons, you're harassing me. I never make it to the eighth step because I walk it back hard, but damn, never have I experienced such a hard duality of fandom, like even Star Wars fandom lets you get lulled into a false sense of security for a few months before it unhinges its jaws and tries to eat you.

[katelynnwrites]

so long, london | sydney lohmann

warnings: angst once again

word count: 957

summary: you have to say goodbye to london because of sydney

a/n: the seventh and final installation of my 'the anthology' blurbs series

it was quite clear to you, the moment sydney became disinterested in your relationship.

she stopped flying out to london when she had free weekends and stopped asking when you could fly out to munich.

you kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

until you couldn’t.

despite your attempts at pulling your girlfriend closer, each time she drifted away, it was futile.

syd simply didn’t want to be with you anymore.

you thought she had known the commitments of a long distance relationship. the confidence in which she had asked you out after playing against your club in the second leg of the uwcl quarterfinals had mistakenly led you to believe that.

so you stopped trying to make her laugh and instead, started thinking about how much sad she thought you had in you.

on your first date, the midfielder had taken you to a cute little coffee place that you had never been to or even heard of, despite living in london for years, the day after arsenal knocks her team out of the european competition.

it didn’t matter that she had a flight to catch later in the day, she made time for you.

she was sweet and warm and ever so attentive to you.

it drew you in easily, she drew you in easily and it was entirely unsurprising that you quickly became smitten with her.

you learned that she loved her coffee and it became a point whenever she flew in to see you, that the both of you would find a new coffee place to try.

it led to the two of you discovering all the nooks and crannies of the english city.

small parks, quaint little side streets and endearing out of the way cafes, you and syd explored them all.

you flew out to munich to see her too. sat in the stands of the bayern campus to watch her play, experienced her cooking which she insisted upon and fell in love with her somewhere along the way.

she told you she loved you too, made you believe her words with intimate kisses and touches.

honestly, it was a tragedy how the end of your relationship came about.

it wasn’t anything like how they showed it in the movies you watched growing up. or in the television dramas sydney loved watching.

there was no big fight and storming out or someone cheating on the other.

it was just a slow and inevitable sinking of the ship. it simply was bleak. and agonising. and oh so devastating.

you took a blow to your heart, the day you realised that you couldn’t remember the last time the blonde had told you she loved you.

‘i love you.’

three basic words that had meant the world to you when she had promised them to you the first time.

you never thought there would be a last time hearing them from her lips. maybe that’s why you can’t remember when she said them last.

you didn’t know to memorise the moment because it had never crossed your mind that the moment would come.

that’s when you stopped CPR, after all it’s no use if sydney doesn’t want to love you anymore.

you fly to munich, to tell the german woman that you are done trying.

it ruins you when the blonde promptly accuses you of not loving her enough. that you are the one abandoning your relationship.

her voice is filled with quiet resentment and that is when your white knuckle, dying grip on the shreds of your once beautiful relationship relents.

for months, you have lived in fear of her walking out on your love affair. your friends have been telling you it wasn’t right to be scared every day of your relationship and now you see the truth in their words.

you’re helpless to save your relationship if she refuses to try on her part.

if sydney isn’t sure if she wants to be there, if she wants to be yours…then there is no way that you can force her to stay.

she swore that she love you but where were the clues? you died on the altar waiting for the proof.

so really, how much sad did she think you had in you?

because here you are, standing in your apartment with packed boxes all around.

you can’t stay in london.

not when every street and every corner reminds you of the walks you used to take with the bayern munich player, hand in hand. of the affection you used to hold for her. or the laughter you used to share.

you’re strong but you’re only so strong. you can only take so much and you aren’t sure if you can take the break up.

by the time you land in america, you’re just mad as hell.

because you loved that place. you loved london and you loved playing for the arsenal. you even loved the dreary weather.

but you had to give all that up because of sydney.

she’s spoilt london for you and you had to leave it and arsenal because of her.

you had to leave europe altogether, god forbid the two of you end up playing against each other in the champions’ league again.

the very competition that started your relationship in the first place is now a bitter memory.

north carolina is where you flee to.

it’s far enough from sydney. and munich. and london. where all your hopes and dreams once lived.

for so long, london. you had a good run.

sydney lohmann was a moment of warm sun but you’re not the one for her.

so long london. stiches undone. two graves, one gun. she’ll find someone.

it just won’t be you.

[juicywritinghoard]

a few more prompts

This crime is going almost too well?

Can you play with my hair? 

Of all the people to body swap with. Of all the days. 

This is no time for cute cat pictures and heart emojis!!!

And ANOTHER THING. Zombies-

Hey. Honestly? [deep breath] [SCREAMS]

Nothing like yard sale drama and intrigue! 

I did not see your text. Actually I can't read. It's very sad. Sudden onset adult illiteracy is very real-

Do not put it in your mouth! 

I know I got in trouble for buying them a very cool toy last time, but hear me out. 

Bite me. You gotta.

I am not eating this raw, actually. Nope.

How long did it take you to make that for me? NO I am not crying 

You drive me insane. Obviously I would go to hell for you 

What does this button do? I gotta know

Sword fighting is even more charged than I expected and I was not prepared 

I know you grew up in a wet cardboard box all alone but I cannot believe you have not experienced this. I think we have to, right now,  immediately 

We both showed up alone to the couples cake decorating class, so obviously-

Oops! Run

It hurts, but it rules

After a bad day, what we really need is some chocolate and violence.

Meow? Are you kidding me? 

Oh don't even get me STARTED on monsters- 

Pick your battles. As in let go of some of them please I swear you cannot fight it all

You know that object from the thrift store we thought was haunted? Haha so guess what,

Good chances we all die. Counterpoint, everyone who lives gets ice cream with sprinkles, so gear up!

I think I pretty explicitly said not to get it on the carpet.

So your mic wasn't off,

Please dress up with me? Please please please?

It isn't my blood. Don't get it twisted 

Can we kiss behind the mini golf windmill one more time? 

Magic is real, it just looks fake. 

Quick! Propose to me! Also, what's your name? 

We have to get you a new super costume.

You're enchanting. You're resplendent. You're a little bit on fire,

I gotta be honest. I have no idea what's going on and I think I waited too long to say so. Sorry?

Why do they have cat ears? They're supposed to be DEAD

I have normal feelings about this. And regular opinions. And I'm vibrating a reasonable amount.

Help, help, I'm not supposed to be in this universe!! 

I will help you ruin your hair, obviously, but you have to tell me what's going on. 

You wore that to the funeral?? 

Baking is science. Wizardry is science. You know what isn't science? 

Tired, angry, and covered in spaghetti sauce, and here I am at your door. But I can explain?

Bear. Seriously 

gonna destroy you and end your legacy forever xoxo <3

Nothing could possibly make me laugh right now. Don't you dare start doing silly voices at me. 

You know what this giant fancy crystal is good for? Blunt force head trauma 

I know it's super dangerous but when your eyes glow like that I can't focus on the battle at all…

Life finds a way?

Fighting? No, no, we're having a great time arguing about this. 

[dangermousie]

I can't with them!!! And the perfect tragedy of him having to die just when he discovered he wants to live is JUST AAAAAA AAAAAAAA

He's kissing her hair, isn't he?

You know all the adorable, sweet and romantic times she called his name? IT WOULDN'T BE THIS DRAMA IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE IT AND USED IT IN THE WAY DESIGNED FOR MAXIMUM PAIN!!!!

And we end on:

It finally rained. The camellia he gave her finally bloomed.

OOOOOOOF!

Snowfall was a rare drama (or frankly a show from anywhere) that remained perfect from beginning to end and didn't flag or derail by the end. It knew exactly what type of story it wanted to tell and told it utterly unapologetically and I love it for that. Would I recommend it to everyone? No, not at all. You need to have certain narrative and visual preferences. It is very very much a niche drama for a niche audience. But as someone in that niche, I cannot think of a drama that catered harder to my narrative, shippy and visual preferences this year except possibly Eternal Brotherhood (a very different drama but also a passion project with a modest budget.)

Oh, and for those who yearn for a happier ending, the screenwriter posted a coda on weibo. The translation is floating around but the crucial point is that our OTP reunite in the modern day - after she's experienced a lot of life and all the things he wanted for her but still yearned for him. I am very happy with that, but honestly the tragic ending would have worked just as well for me.

10/10 for me.

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. IV

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 4,174

Warnings: 8-year age gap, professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jungkook snaps, lots of family drama, mommy issues, oc being accommodating, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues but trying to be good hubby, jk gives oc more hope!

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: this week's flashback hint–nothing like a little dilf rivalry! Also, this chapter gives more of a reason why jk is adverse to parenthood 😶 My closing notes offer some explanations. Let's go! 💞

<< ch. III ༓ ch. V >> | series masterlist

For the first 22 years of your life, you had zero partners.

Most people labeled you as being jaded, stuck up, or having too high of standards for it. But fuck it. Why couldn’t anyone accept that you weren’t about to settle down with the first interested guy just 'cause of peer pressure?

Of course, you'd likely end up with someone eventually. You have gone out on a couple of dates before. Yet they were never that promising. The men, or excuse you, boys roughly your age did nothing to woo you. They just wanted a late-night fuck at 1 a.m. or a nice, cute girl to take home to their mom.

Not that you gave a hell what others were into or anything, but you had other agendas. Getting married and birthing children before kick-starting your adult life was not in your playbook. Neither was jumping into bed with random guys every week.

So you haven't had much luck in the romance department. Good riddance to it!

What you were waiting for was a gentleman. Someone that was responsible, mature, and experienced. Bonus points if they were into the arts. But it was rare to find a suitor of such quality–who wasn't ridiculously off-limits that is. Obviously, some other strong-willed man or woman sunk their claws in before you got the chance. Drats.

4 years ago

“I can’t believe you,” your best friend giggles. “You’re going to that fancy new art exhibit downtown just to run into Dr. Kim! You’re so shameless __.”

You roll your eyes and stick your plate in the dishwasher. You’re best friend Na-Rae has been one of your closest friends since your second year of undergrad. Now into your third year of friendship, you consider her as close as a sister.

Unlike you, Na-Rae is utterly fascinated with all things STEM-related. She’s currently in med school aiming to become a surgeon, which is one of the many reasons why you and her are currently roommates.

“I’m telling you one more time, I’m not going for him. I actually want to see the paintings which should come as no surprise to you. Dr. Kim just happens to be going too.”

Na-Rae leans against the kitchen island, tongue in cheek. “If that’s what you wanna tell yourself, babe. But how, may I ask, did you know he’d be there? Are you stalking him online now?”

“Of course not. I’m not a creep Na-Rae.” You throw her a dirty look. Honestly, she really thinks you’re some obsessed fangirl. Like yes, Dr. Kim is really hot for an older guy, and the fact that he’s basically the second dean of the art department? He may or may not visit you in your dreams. Especially after studying for Dr. Jeon’s fifteen million econ exams.

Now there’s a guy who definitely knows how to stick it to you.

“Besides,” you continue. “Dr. Kim doesn’t have social media.” You don’t notice how contradictory that statement sounds until your best friend lets out a sinister cackle.

“Looked him up did you?” She hits your arm, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly. “I knew it! I knew you were stalking him!”

“I–I am not! Stop that!” You ignore her looks, seeing it best to avoid eye contact altogether.

"Iovmererdhimalkingintheallway."

"C'mon, you know I can't understand that. You did what?"

"I over…heardhimalkingintheallway," you repeat, skirting most of the sentence again.

"For the love of might __! Why are you being so–"

"I overheard him talking in the hallway!" Once you blurt the words out you scurry out of the kitchen. "Gotta get my laundry, bye!"

"Uh-__!" Na-Rae races to catch up to you. "Explain to me how that's not being stalkerish!"

You grab your laundry basket and set it next to the dryer. "It wasn't intentional alright? I happened to be passing by at the right moment." You pop the door open, stuffing your clothes in the basket. Na-Rae casually watches you from the doorway.

"Right," she says. "Just happened to overhear Dr. Kim's whereabouts on a Friday night and just happen to be going to the same place. But definitely not planned because the dress you're currently trying to hide from me isn't meant for him to coincidentally see. Oops, my bad."

You release said dress from your hand aggressively. "Dr. Kim is at least a decade older than me and he's a high-level faculty member of the university. I'm not seriously trying to present myself to him in any romantic sense. That would be so inappropriate! And as far as the dress goes, it's the grand opening tonight. Everyone's wearing these kinds of things. So no, you're wrong."

"Very well, if the lady persists," Na-Rae shrugs, checking her phone. "Shoot, I gotta get to work in fifteen but I expect a full report later!" You watch as she hustles to her room.

.

The exhibit's doors open at 7 pm sharp. The line to the entrance runs about three blocks which is far longer than you were expecting. Most people came in groups or pairs, making you wish Na-Rae didn't have to work tonight.

But you're right about this being a formal affair. Everyone is dressed to kill. Some lean more towards black tie while others choose to show off their highly expressive, avant-garde nature.

You look down at yourself, suddenly feeling quite underdressed. You're wearing a simple black dress that's cinched at the waist. If one were to look close enough they'd see hints of gold throughout but no one would get that close.

The artwork itself is stunning. Varying from abstraction to impressionism, you get a sense of pleasure in taking in others’ inspiration. Many of these works are from locals in the area which is one of the main reasons for the number of interested guests. You wonder if anyone here knows the artists directly.

You make your way to the next set of pieces, studying the first in line. You immediately recognize the particular style as post-impressionism. It's clear the artist has great influence by Van Gogh evident from the similar large yet controlled strokes.

As you continue observing the work you feel a second body, looming close beside you. Naturally, you shift your eyes over to see the source. His hair brushes past his face as he leans closer to the painting.

After about three seconds you quickly dart your eyes away, careful not to stare. The man appears to be equally as focused on the work in front of him, as you were. It'd be a bit embarrassing if he noticed your gaze and snapped at you for it.

The man next to you slowly straightens his bent-over posture. He moves to the other side of you, viewing the next painting on your right. You barely catch the slight glance he gives you in the process, now able to see his full face.

It's not Dr. Kim–it's Dr. Jeon.

This isn't weird, you try convincing yourself. It's perfectly normal for you to see your professor in public. Besides, who knows if he actually recognized you yet. No need to make this awkward if you simply pretend not to notice him.

You think about whether to sneakily slip away or continue to feign ignorance until…

"Are we going to keep side-eyeing each other or can I say hi?" Dr. Jeon lightly smiles at you with playful eyes. His glasses are different today–thinner design. And oh, is that a...lip ring? Is that new or has he always had it? You don't remember seeing it before. "If you keep staring at my lips like that I might get shy."

"Ahha, Dr. Jeon!" You fight the stirring of your nerves. "Hi! Sorry, I didn't mean to stare or anything. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Please, __. Outside of class, Jungkook is fine. Though I understand if that's a little out of place for you."

A little?! You've been calling Dr. Jeon, well, Dr. Jeon for the past two weeks. It's unlikely that will change. "If it's alright with you," you start, hands restless. "I'd like to stick with the usual."

Jungkook nods, giving you a brief once-over before replying. "Sure, no problem. I'm hoping you'll warm up to the idea though. Dr. Jeon makes me feel old." He lets out a throaty chuckle. "I'd ask what brings you to this art exhibit but I think I have the answer, given the amount of sketches I see you doing while I'm lecturing."

Oh god. Your professor calling you out for both gawking at his lips and doodling in class under the span of five minutes? You've never wanted to disappear more. The sketches you do aren't meant to look like a distraction and honestly, you didn't mean to gawk at the tiny ring, it was just there!

"Sorry," he continues. "That wasn't intended to be passive-aggressive. I really don't mind as long as they don't hinder your learning. Dr. Kim does the same thing whenever I'm talking to him too. I've summed it up to an itch all you artists have. I've come here in support of him actually." He gestures to the collection of paintings next to you; the post-impressionism ones you were intent on studying earlier.

"Oh wow," you gasp stupidly, following his gesture. You didn't even clue in to read the artist's name.

Stigma by Kim Taehyung.

"I had no idea Dr. Kim had some of his work displayed here. I feel so foolish. I was viewing his pieces for I don't know how long just a few minutes ago."

You were sure Dr. Kim was attending the exhibit for the same reasons as you. But while it was partially right, you obviously missed the biggest point.

"Don't fret," a deep, honey-coated voice comes from nowhere. "Any admirer of my work is a friend of mine." He strolls up to your left, Jungkook still on your right. "I don't believe we've met yet. Dr. Kim Taehyung." He tosses a hand out for you to shake.

Oh no, no no no. You hope to death you won't start sweating. You've never been this close to Kim Taehyung before and he wants you to hold his hand! "Pleasure to meet you Dr. Kim. I'm __," you say, struggling not to burst inside.

Okay, so it's not exactly holding hands but it's close enough. His fingers are so long and elegant. You can't wipe the grin off your face.

You're squeezing it now, stop stop stop. You mentally slap yourself and retract your hand as naturally as you can. Thank fuck no one can read your mind.

"I'm sorry your name is __?" Dr. Kim freezes as if suddenly needing to remember something. When you think he's recalled whatever it is he needs, he flicks his head over to Jungkook with a twinkle in his eye. "__," he repeats aloud.

"Uhm, yes..." You're definitely missing something. You look between the two men, apparently both intent on keeping you in omnious silence. What's so facinating about your name?

Taehyung whips his head back to face you, flashing a blinding grin. "You're the little artist in Jungkook's class aren't you?"

That's what this is about? He looks far too proud of himself for connecting those dots.

"Yeah I take ECON 602 with Dr. Jeon." You make the mistake of looking at Jungkook mid-sentence. For some odd reason, his previous mirthful expression has changed to one of bitter distaste.

"She isn't little," Jungkook intrudes, nearly snapping at the older man. "Little is what you call a child and it's inappropriate for you to call her that."

What the hell....? How is Dr. Kim calling you little bothering your professor more than you?

"My apologies," Taehyung says. "But she's your student, right? The one drawing during your lectures? I think she drew you once. Exquisite may I add. You captured his pissed-off look so well." He gives you a pleased look but you're too sheepish to form a reply.

"Yes, I wasn't having the best day. Can I talk to you a moment Dr. Kim? We'll be right back __, just a second." Jungkook grabs the older's arm, yanking him out of your earshot.

"What the hell are you doing, Taehyung?" Jungkook spits. "You're making my student uncomfortable."

"Aha, so she is the artist. Look I admit that using the term little was a misstep but I think she's alright. I apologized didn't I?"

"Yeah sure, but she's not alright." He makes air quotes. "Since you've also made it seem like anything she does in my class, I spill to you! Don't you see how uneasy that would make someone feel? Especially me being her professor. She could be thinking I tell you weird things too! See what you've done?!"

"But Jungkook," Taehyung drawls, face scrunching. He's not sure what's gotten Jungkook so worked up. "You do in fact regurgitate everything to me. You've been talking about her for the last week just to one-up me that she's an artist. Now I get to have a face to the name. I'm kinda tickled about it but also, what weird things are you referring to?" Taehyung pauses, eyes going as big as a saucer. "Oh my god, bro. Are you–"

Jungkook grunts firmly, shutting the man up at once. "Absolutely not Tae. Whatever you were about to say, it couldn't be a bigger no. All I'm asking is for you to keep the private things private. I don't want you blubbering everything to her."

"Very well," Taehyung hums, stealing a glance at you behind Jungkook's shoulder. From where he stood, he had an easy view of you moving down the line of paintings. You stop in front of each one, curiously examining them the best you can. "However, she's quite intriguing. I can't make any promises that I'll hold myself back."

"You better be talking about her mutual interest in art. She's my student and we have an obligation through the university not to fraternize with any–"

"Yes yes, your student. I don't need a reminder of where my boundaries are, but perhaps you do....bringing up fraternizing and all." Taehyung moves past Jungkook, striding back over to you. "Whatever else can there be besides professional or academic affairs? Of course, we're keeping our witts about us Kookie."

Behind him, Jungkook huffs and follows his lead. Then wipe that stupid smirk off your face, he thinks.

Present

Dinner is rough.

Jungkook's parents showing up unannounced and uninvited throws you both in a very quick, downward spiral. How can two people have so much time on their hands? Retirement, that's how.

You try your hardest to keep the conversation light throughout dinner, but it's obvious the air has grown thick between your husband and his mother.

"Why didn't you come to the reunion last year?" your mother-in-law presses for the second time tonight. She clutches the napkin in her hand, anxious for his response.

Jungkook sits across the table. His posture stiffens at the question. "I'm sorry, I had a lot to do. The reunion is always so close to when I have to go back to the university that I just didn't have the time."

A loud, impatient sigh comes from back across the table. "You didn't have the time or didn't make it? Honesty Jungkook, you expect me to believe that?"

When Jungkook doesn't answer, you and your father-in-law exchange troublesome looks. "Honey," Mr. Jeon speaks up, placing a hand on her shaky one. "You know how full the school year is for Jungkook. Don't blame him. Maybe he can come this year if we reschedule for a more convenient time." He pleads with his son, hopeful eyes.

"Stop helping him." She looks at Mr. Jeon and then back to Jungkook. "I don't think I'm asking for a lot. I just want you there, you and __."

At that, you find yourself gripping your husband's arm from under the table. Jungkook shifts in his seat and stares dead straight into his mother's eyes. "Funny you say that," he seethes. You tug on his arm in desperation to calm him. "Seeing that you keep dropping by at random times throughout the year, I'd say you expect a great deal from us."

Mrs. Jeon immediately snatches her hand from your father-in-law's. "Maybe I wouldn't have to if you'd come to the reunion. Or called, texted, or even emailed at this point. If it weren't for my efforts, I wouldn't hear from you at all."

"Please," Mr. Jeon pleads again, this time to both parties. "We're having dinner. Let's continue this later." He reaches for the bowl in the middle of the table but he's quickly ignored.

"You're right." Jungkook cuts. "Maybe I should come. Because it's one more way you can get what you want, isn't it? All those years of hard work so you can show me off to everyone."

"Don't you talk to me like that," Mrs. Jeon grits. "If I wanted to show you off it'll be when you give me a grandchild! I'm lucky to even have a daughter-in-law by now."

Chair legs scrape against the hardwood floor and your arm snakes out from Jungkook's arm. Your husband stands at the table, Mr. Jeon follows suit. "Okay, okay, let's just–"

"Dad," Jungkook interrupts. "Can you please take Mom home for the night?"

"Are you okay?" you pop the question once your in-laws leave for the night, a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Mrs. Jeon looked completely bewildered, whereas Mr. Jeon looked deeply troubled; conflicted between wife and son. You have a feeling he has a better understanding of what happened than you do right now.

"I wish she hadn't come today," Jungkook plops on the bed. You sit beside him. "I'm sorry about what she said about you....I knew she was here for something."

You won't lie. When Mrs. Jeon mentioned being lucky to finally have a daughter-in-law, it stung. You detest being seen as an achievement. "I'm sure she didn't mean it like that since she said it out of impulse. It was a tense moment," you say. "As far as what she was getting at though, it was for you to go to the reunion."

"No." He shakes his head and then glances at you. "It's not about the reunion. She only wants me to go so she can show everyone how smart and successful her son has become–all her doing of course. It's been like that since high school. And she wants you to go for a similar reason."

"I knew your mom had a bit of a thing for status but I thought that mostly revolved around her profession. Also, when she was talking earlier about you not keeping in touch she seemed more hurt and sad than mad. I think she really just wants you there."

"If she seemed hurt it's because she didn't get her way," Jungkook says, nonchalant.

"Jungkook."

"I'm sorry but it's true" He adjusts his position, angling himself to face you. "Mom's used to calling the shots– at work, at home, even with our neighbors growing up. You've seen how dad is around her. Yeah, he pushes back a little but at the end of the day, he does what's asked of him."

Frightened to ask the next question, you swallow hard. "What aren't you telling me Jungkook?"

He gently takes your hand from your lap, rubbing small circles on the knuckles. "Growing up, she was hardly around or involved in my brother and I's life. Most weeks, she and Dad would be at work, and we'd be with a babysitter or nanny. Dad did what he could to take care of us but Mom? All she would do is prune us to be just like her...smart, successful, and a dash more to make up for all the achievements she couldn't make."

"Jungkook...I don't know what to say," you murmur, trying to take everything in. "But your PhD–"

"My decision but her influence. Though she wasn't pleased when I said I'd be relocating ten hours away."

You remember him telling you this part before. His mother had a hard time coping with his reluctance to stay nearby. Maybe she did want him to follow in her footsteps. "Your brother didn't have as much pressure on him did he?"

"He did, but he still bends to her will. Except for the grandchildren part." Jungkook grimaces, averting eye contact. "I guess we have that in common."

"Hey," you urge him to lift his head. "Please don't feel bad about telling me any of this. If your picture of parents has largely been their absence and desire for self-fulfillment, then I understand your grounds for not wanting children. And as far as tonight with your mom, I'm so sorry. I feel like it's partially my fault for agreeing to host them for two days."

A pair of soft eyes rest on you in the dim room. The sun was near set now and all the light previously shining into the room had come from the window. If this wasn't a serious moment you might take a candid shot of your husband.

"You're the best thing that's happened to me __," Jungkook coos. "Don't ever think your kindness is a fault." He pauses then continues. "I still want both my parents in my life but I need to draw boundaries or I will completely snap and that's not something I want to happen. Especially since we have a possible baby to make one day."

"Hu–huh?" It's the repetition of the last sentence that makes you utterly dumbfounded.

Baby? Baby with Jungkook. One day?

Your husband draws his hand up to barely caress your cheek. "Why does that always seem to stop your heart?"

You catch his wrist mid-movement and throw yourself into him. Your arms link around his neck, chest flat against his. "It doesn't stop my heart," you say, playing with his hair. "It makes it beat faster."

"Wow." Your husband hugs you closer. "So cheesy." He leans back after, pressing a soft kiss to yours.

The two of you continue making out like teenagers again; Jungkook tumbling on his back.

"Kook." You lay on top of him, straddling his sides. "Have you ever thought about seriously talking to your mom about you know, everything you told me?"

Jungkook hums, before answering. "Somewhat but, I'm not sure how that'll go."

"It might be worth it instead of having little pieces slip out when you get into conflict...like tonight for instance."

"I suppose it's not a far-fetched idea. I'll consider it but it might take some more time. For now, I think I'll start by calling her tomorrow. I'm still mad but I don't wanna leave things the way they are now. Plus, I'm sure they don't have plans to go back home early. I'd hate for them to stay in the hotel the rest of these two days."

"Sounds like a plan," you say, snuggling into the crook of his neck.

"Mom." Jungkook holds the phone to his ear. "What are you and Dad doing today?"

"Oh, I–," his mom stutters from the other end. "We're not up to too much. I think your dad wants to swing by some bookstore around town. Uh, what about you?"

"__ at work and I'm home by myself. Are you hungry? I thought maybe we could go out for brunch."

Jungkook hears his mom's tone lift. "Are you sure? I mean that would be lovely but if there are things you need to do then we don't want to...impose."

Mrs. Jeon's sudden willingness to check in is unexpected. Jungkook still senses traces of guilt but at least she's making somewhat of an effort.

"It's my treat," he assures, a little shaky. "I'm sorry about yesterday, mom. Maybe we can talk about it more in person."

"I think that would be good," she agrees simply. "Where and what time do you want to meet up?"

"Drive over here in twenty minutes. We can pile in my car and head over."

Once finally agreed, Jungkook ends the call. He opens his messages and shoots you a text.

Jungkook: Well I did it  😬 [sent at 10:42 a.m]

__: Proud of you ❤️ if anything happens, call me. [sent at 10:44 a.m]

Jungkook: I will. Also, sorry to bring it up but I gotta give Yoongi hyung an answer by tomorrow. Are we babysitting his twins Saturday? [sent at 10:47 a.m]

__: Ahm, it'll likely be the evening, right? [sent at 10:48 a.m]

Jungkook: Probably [sent at 10:49 a.m]

__: I guess, sure. We're going to need to put some stuff away though 😅 And get something fun for them to do! [sent by 10:51 a.m]

Jungkook: Noted but I'm sure they'll bring lots to do. Yoongi hyung is a big sofie for his girls. He buys them everything–literally 🫠 [sent at 10:52 a.m]

__: True. I have to get back to work now but love you xoxo [sent at 10:53 a.m]

A/N: Surprise! jk has mommy issues and they've has been triggered. Was hoping how he talked, thought, & acted towards her in the last chapter gave hints. On the brighter side, jungkook is another step closer to babyville! And next flashback will be something exciting! Lmk if you wanna be tagged or have thoughts in comments or asks! 💞

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