#how do I an adult explain to another adult that my sexuality is no thanks

[what-in-procrastination]

i’m just yelling to the void here but does anyone have any cool fun ways to talk abt how asexual I am on a date

[mywitchyblog]

Reality Shifting and Age Changing Explained: A Deep Dive into the "Controversial" Practice

Introduction: Reality Shifting, the mind-bending practice of moving your consciousness/awareness to another reality (known as a Desired Reality or DR), has sparked intense debates within the community. One of the hottest topics? Age changing – the act of shifting to a different age in your DR. This shit has caused so many arguments, especially about ethics and what's "allowed". Let's break down why age changing isn't as fucked up as some people make it out to be, and why those who say otherwise might need to reconsider their stance. I will Mostly talk about agin yourself down since that is what is making the biggest noise

Taglist of various people who i think would be interested in this post (i will update it progresively) :

@shiftersroom You wanted my opinion ? Here is it /pos

@norumis I saw that post of yours

@evangelineshifts and @reiashiftsrealities Talked my project on your discord lol.

@jolynesmom Loved your post about it btw

Warning : READ IT FULLY BEFORE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS THANK YEW

My Race Chaging Post

Masterlist

Part I: Why Age Changing Isn't Bad

a. The Maturity Conundrum: When you look at the source of this controversy, you'll realize it revolves around the maturity gap between the shifter and their DR . Critics argue that age changing either doesn't alter your maturity (meaning if you're a teen in your DR, you still have the maturity of your Original Reality (OR), essentially making you an adult in a minor's body) or that it's inherently problematic. But here's the thing: when you shift, you fully take on the age and mindset of your DR self. You're not just playing pretend; you actually become that age. If you can get your DR self's memories, abilities, skills, and personality, why the fuck is it so far-fetched to think you can have their maturity as well?

Let's break this down scientifically. Maturity is dependent on brain development, more precisely, the coordinated functioning of four distinct zones:

Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): The "CEO" responsible for planning, decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation.

Limbic System: The "Marketing & Sales" team that influences emotions, motivation, and memory, shaping how we perceive situations and respond.

Basal Ganglia: The "Operations" department that controls habits and translates plans into action.

Temporal Lobes: "Customer Service & Public Relations" that processes social cues and guides our interactions with others.

This neurological ensemble shows that maturity is something physical, related to the brain development of an individual. It's been established in the shifting community that you cannot bring physical things across realities, so what makes you think you can bring your CR brain with you?

If that were the case, scripting a different personality, skills, and knowledge would be impossible. This means your DR self has its own cognitive and emotional frameworks developed in that reality. Your experiences and maturity are context-specific (in that case reality specific), so when you shift back to your OR, you regain your OR maturity. Shifting isn't like a permanent personality change; it's more like fully immersing yourself in a different role or life. Which is exactly what happens.

b. Debunking Anti-Aging Arguments:

"If you age yourself down, that means you're attracted to minors/you're a pedophile": This argument is complete bullshit. If there are gay people shifting to be heterosexual, lesbian shifters shifting for men, aro/ace people shifting to experience romantic/sexual attraction they never do in this reality, then aging yourself down and potentially having romantic and/or sexual relationships as a minor with another minor doesn't mean you're attracted to minors as an adult in another reality. This take is a "Hasty Generalization" fallacy – making a broad generalization based on a small or unrepresentative sample.

"Why in this reality are you thinking about dating minors??": This type of take is not what you think it is, baby girl. It's called a fallacy, more specifically the Straw Man fallacy. It occurs when someone misrepresents or oversimplifies an opponent's argument to make it easier to attack or refute. In our case, they're trying to oversimplify something as complex and nuanced as reality shifting, not taking into account valid instances where one would age themselves down.

"Even if you are the same age, you still have the awareness of being an adult, which means you're a predator": And again, another fallacious argument. Seriously, aren't y'all sick and tired of bouncing on my wood all day long? That's not how shifting works, and you know it. We aren't even sure awareness works like this. It's just a theory, plus I can tell that a lot of people with this stupid-ass take haven't shifted at all.When you shift – and let me tell you because I did shift, so I know how awareness works – when you shift to a reality, you don't even realize you've shifted at first because for you, existing, waking up, just living in this reality is something normal, not extraordinary at all. Then something will trigger the fact that you know you've shifted, and from the perspective of you in your DR, you don't feel as if you "originate" from a specific reality. For you, your DR becomes your CR, and subsequently,so does your awareness. You just know there's another reality, another version of you that exists and that you're an adult there. Your existence/consciousness/awareness is like a circle: no beginning, no end, no origin.Plus, according to the concept of infinite realities and possibilities, you can change via scripting how your awareness works. I haven't done that; that's how I and thousand of shifters WHO DID ACTUALLY SHIFT personally experienced/perceived our awareness while in our DR.

"Using shifting to age yourself down to date a minor while being an adult hereand saying 'oh well according to multiverse I AM this age, it doesn't matter ifI'm an adult in a different reality' is similar to trying to pursue someone thesecond they are of legal age when that shit varies in other countries/states": Nah, seriously, do some of y'all have actual arguments to defend your point of view except fallacious ones that have as much value as my nonexistent heterosexuality? The statement equates aging down in a Desired Reality to the practice of pursuing someone as soon as they reach the legal age in this reality, which is a "false equivalence" fallacy. These scenarios are fundamentally different in nature and intent. In reality shifting, the individual adopts the full cognitive and emotional framework of their DR self, becoming that version of them entirely. This is not comparable to someone in this reality deliberately targeting individuals based on legal age thresholds. The intent and context are distinct. Do some of you people realise that an actual predator/creep/pedophile would not age themselves down once they realized they could strike a chord as an adult in their DR without any consequences?

c. Valid Reasons for Age Changing:

Exploration and Nostalgia: Some people age down to relive experiences or explore stages of life they missed in their OR. It's like getting a second chance at living life. Maybe you want to experience high school without the anxiety, or have a childhood free from trauma. This shit can be healing as fuck and the best therapy there is in the multiverse.

Healing and Fulfillment: Shifting to a younger age can help heal from missed opportunities or trauma, like experiencing a fulfilling teenage romance or a carefree childhood. It's a way to rewrite parts of your life that were painful or unfulfilled.Imagine being able to have loving parents if you didn't in your OR,or getting to pursue that dream you gave up on as a kid.

Non-Sexual Intentions: Many shifters change their age without any sexual motives, focusing more on friendships, adventures, or just being in a different stage of life. It's about experiencing life from a different perspective, not about fetishizing youth. You might want to join a high school club, go to prom, or just enjoy the simpler responsibilities of being younger.

Tried to shift since being a minor: A lot of shifters discovered shifting when they were still minors and made DRs whose age corresponded to the one they had in their OR at the time and tried to shift again and again despite the years. Are you telling me that you're going to tell those people to discard those realities the moment they turn 18? Bitch, make it make sense and you cant.

Part II: Examining the Discourse Within the Reality Shifting Community

a. Teenage Shifters : Double standards and hypocrisy. Teenage Shifters need to acknowledge the hypocrisy of them shifting to a DR where they are a married adult with kids one day and then deciding to shift to a reality where they are 15 and dating another 15-year-old the next. This inconsistency becomes even more problematic when they complain about their "maturity" being affected upon returning to their original reality. Furthermore, these same shifters often label adult shifters as "predatory" for shifting to realities where they interact with high schoolers, failing to recognize the double standard in their own behavior.

This hypocrisy extends to their attitudes towards sexual content and relationships. Teenage shifters often defend scripting mature content in their desired realities, arguing that teens naturally have such desires. However, they become outraged when adult shifters express a desire to experience young love again through shifting. This inconsistency is further highlighted by their willingness to engage in adult behaviors with older partners in one reality while simultaneously pursuing teenage relationships in another.

This hypocrisy extends to their attitudes towards sexual content and relationships. Teenage shifters often defend scripting mature content in their desired realities, arguing that teens naturally have such desires. However, they become outraged when adult shifters express a desire to experience young love again (or expereince young love they never did) through shifting. This inconsistency is further highlighted by their willingness to engage in adult behaviors with older partners in one reality while simultaneously pursuing teenage relationships in another.

Moreover, the logic applied to adult shifters - that having a teenage love interest in a desired reality implies attraction to minors in the original reality - is not consistently applied to teenage shifters who frequently shift between adult and teenage experiences. This disparity in reasoning further underscores the bias within the community.

Lastly, the pressure to shift before reaching adulthood in the original reality is a concerning trend. The community's belief that minor-aged shifters can shift to any age creates an implicit urgency to experience various realities before becoming an adult, after which such experiences might be viewed as pedophilic fantasies by the wider community.

Many Shifters who are minors (I do not say that all shifters that are minors are like this, just a huge amount) have a very odd understanding of what shifting is. They often treat it like cosplay, which is not what true shifting is about. They accuse adults who age down of being predatory, yet they:

Age themselves up to be with adults.

Age down adults to be with them.

Have pornstar or stripper DRs, which is ironic considering their criticisms.

This double standard reveals a lack of understanding about the true nature of shifting and the subjective experience of each shifter. It's like they're playing by different rules depending on what suits them at the moment.

Consider this mind-fuck: A 17-year-old shifts to another reality, lives there for 40 years, then comes back and dates someone who's 17 in their CR. By their logic, this makes them predatory because they've lived for 57 years. Conversely, if they return to their CR as a 17-year-old and date a 57-year-old because they're "57 in shifting age," it's still seen as wrong. This highlights the inconsistency in their arguments and the subjective nature of age and experience across realities.

It's like trying to apply the rules of chess to a game of poker – it just doesn't work. Each reality has its own context, and trying to apply blanket rules across all of them is an exercise in futility.

b. The Hypocrisy of shiftok : Oppresive and unfounded dogma, lack of empathy and Cultish Tendencies

The TikTok reality shifting community, colloquially known as "Shiftok," often displays a concerning lack of empathy and nuanced understanding when discussing complex issues surrounding shifting experiences. This is exemplified by the interaction shown in the image below :

In the first comment, an individual expresses feeling emotionally and mentally stunted due to missing formative experiences while growing up(which is true a lack of expereince can stunt someone s well being and developement). They view shifting as a potential way to have those experiences and achieve personal growth. This perspective highlights the therapeutic potential some see in reality shifting. However, the response to this vulnerable admission is harsh and dismissive: "Just bc your childhood got fcked up does not give you the right to fck up another child's." This reply demonstrates the judgmental attitude prevalent in the Shiftok community, where complex motivations are often reduced to simplistic, moralistic condemnations.

This interaction illustrates several problematic aspects of the Shiftok discourse:

Lack of empathy: The responder shows no compassion for the original commenter's expressed trauma and stunted development.

Misinterpretation of intentions: The reply assumes malicious intent, ignoring the therapeutic or self-exploratory motivations expressed.

Imposing rigid moral standards: The response applies a single moral framework without considering the subjective nature of ethics across different realities.

Oversimplification of complex issues: The nuanced topic of personal growth through shifting is reduced to a binary "right" or "wrong" judgment.

Hypocrisy: While condemning certain shifting practices, the community often overlooks similar ethical concerns in other contexts, such as minors scripting adult relationships.

This example shows perfectly the need for more thoughtful, empathetic discourse within the shifting community. Rather than rush to judgment, shiftokers should strive to understand diverse perspectives and the complex reasons one would shift to a specific DR of theirs.Otherwise people will keep thinking that we are nothing more than a cult that seeks to exploit the mental health of broken teenagers and prey on their desperationf for fame and money.

c.The "holier than thou" attitude: The "holier than thou" attitude, also known as moral superiority or self-righteousness, is a mindset where individuals or groups believe their moral standards, beliefs, or practices are superior to those of others. This attitude often manifests as judgmental behavior, condescension, and a lack of empathy towards differing viewpoints or experiences.

In the context of Shiftok, the TikTok reality shifting community, this "holier than thou" attitude is particularly evident and problematic. It applies to Shiftok in several ways:

Moral Absolutism: Shiftokers often apply rigid moral standards derived from their original reality (OR) to all desired realities (DRs), ignoring the concept of subjective morality across infinite realities.

Selective Condemnation: The community tends to harshly judge certain practices (like adults shifting to younger ages) while overlooking potentially problematic behaviors by minors (such as scripting adult relationships in their DRs) or people scripting in trauma abuse or that people get SA ed or are in relationship with problematoc people such as murderers and villains.

Lack of Empathy: As demonstrated in the image, there's often a dismissive attitude towards individuals expressing personal struggles or complex motivations for their shifting practices.

Oversimplification of Complex Issues: Nuanced topics are frequently reduced to simplistic "right" or "wrong" judgments, disregarding the multifaceted nature of personal experiences and ethical considerations in shifting. Shiting at its core is complex, nuanced and multifaceted, no black and white its gray.

Assumption of Expertise: Despite many members potentially lacking deep understanding or personal experience with shifting, there's a tendency to speak authoritatively on what is or isn't acceptable in shifting practices. It's always those who either have never shifted or minishifted who yap the most about shifting like they know it all . Honey you don't , you know nothing you have nothing to talk about shut up and try to shift before opening your mouth on a subject you do not have an expertise about.

Gatekeeping: Some members of the community may attempt to dictate who can or cannot engage in certain shifting practices based on arbitrary criteria or personal biases.

Dismissal of Therapeutic Potential: The community often overlooks or dismisses the potential therapeutic or personal growth aspects of shifting, focusing instead on enforcing their perceived moral standards.

This "holier than thou" attitude in Shiftok creates an environment that suppresses open dialogue, discourages the sharing of diverse experiences, and potentially alienates individuals seeking support or understanding within the community. It contradicts the very essence of reality shifting, which is about exploring different perspectives and experiences across infinite realities.

And also the most concerning consequence of this effect, this hypocrisy, this lack of empathy makes shiftok look like a cult in the eyes of other spiritual communities. I do know and disagree when antishifters make the statement that shifting is a cult but I understand and come to agree with them when they say that shiftok is a cult.

This community that is supposed to help one another is just oppressing bullying and suppressing people when they have an opinion that differs from the dogma big shiftokers imposed on the rest of the community thinking that their word is law and they get to write the rules of a practice that is the antithesis of that .Shifting is the epitome of breaking the chains the constraints of this world and its rules. Plus do some of you lot realise that those people that you worship do not give a flying fuck about you ? These people pray on your desperation to keep you on their page.

Shiftok is nothing more than a living sack of horse shit. All the knowledge and tips are just poorly regurgitated from amino and other shifting spaces that existed far before 2020. They immediately closed themselves to outsiders when they saw the damage shiftok did to the community as a whole. When a cultist, shiftoker claims to have this groundbreaking solution /information about shifting keep in mind that 100% of the time it was already known elsewhere.Just not on shiftok and now they are the new shifting Messiah lmao.

Shiftokers sometimes (more like always tbh) ignore the fact that shifting involves complete immersion in the new reality. If it's possible to gain your DR self's memories and personality, then obviously, you'll also become their age mentally as well. You're not just dropped into that life with no context; you fully integrate into that age and lifestyle. When you shift to your DR, that's your new CR. This reality becomes a DR. This reality is not the baseline for anything.

Some people say their memories of their OR feel far away while their DR memories are front and center, making their DR life feel like their primary existence. This means you won't feel like an imposter, no matter how different your DR is from your OR.

In ancient times, gaining spiritual knowledge like shifting required understanding that you are a soul or consciousness having a human experience. Modern cultists shiftokers often skip this step, leading to judgment and misunderstanding. Shifting should be a tool for self-discovery and growth, not just entertainment. This lack of spiritual foundation often leads to a superficial understanding of shifting. It's not just about living out fantasies; it's about expanding consciousness and understanding the nature of reality itself. By focusing solely on the surface-level aspects of shifting, many miss out on the profound insights and personal growth that can come from this practice. Because of the damage shiftok did on the reputation of the practise it is nearly or impossible to break free of the stereotype of shifter being a bunch of mentally ill schoolgirls shifting to be with the wizard version of Nazis (looking at you girlies that shift for Draco Malfoy or Tom Riddle).

Honestly that is the thing that makes me cackle. The most about shiftok i keep hearing and seeing videos from these cultists shiftokers asking and wondering themselves why is the platform dying and why theres no active discussions like sharing tips story times etc...

Bombastic Side Eye-Do you fuckers realised it is all your fault ? You try and silence people when their opinion differs than the one you have.They experienced something you did not you shame and burn them at the stake for it no wonder why people leave that ghetto ass platform and im scared just like a lot of us here of the massive exodus of shiftokers that will happen once tiktok is banned in the US.

Conclusion:

Age changing in shifting isn't inherently bad. It lets people explore different life stages, fulfill desires, and grow personally. The real issue comes when age changing is done for fetishizing purposes, turning ages into objects for sexual gratification. As long as shifters are respectful, consensual, and not exploitative, age changing can be a valid and enriching part of the shifting experience.

Remember, shifting is about expanding your consciousness and experiencing the infinite possibilities of existence. Don't let narrow-minded judgments hold you back from exploring the full potential of this practice. Stay open, stay curious, and most importantly, stay true to your own journey of self-discovery through shifting.

[queenshelby]

Daughter Dearest (Part Three)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (47) x Step! Daughter (21)

Warning: Infidelity, Smut, Dysfunctional Family

The next day, Cillian went to see his counsellor, the same woman he had been seeing every fortnight for the past two years, which is also when he had started marriage counselling with your mother. 

Enduring three years of loveless marriage had, of course, taken its toll on him, but now he had a different problem all together as, within a span of just seven days, he became somewhat  infatuated with you.

"Cillian," greeted the counsellor, opening the door to her office, and gesturing him inside.

"Niamh," Cillian greeted, as he walked past her and into the room, taking a seat on the worn brown leather couch, facing the armchair where the counsellor sat.

Niamh was a small, bird-like woman, with blonde hair perpetually pulled back into a messy bun and wire-framed glasses perched precariously on the edge of her nose. She was in her sixties and had a kind, open face that put people at ease, and Cillian had always found her to be a source of support and guidance, especially during difficult times in his life.

"How are you doing today, Cillian?" Niamh asked, setting down her pen and notebook.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

"Okay, I think," he began, before diving straight in. "But, to be honest, Niamh, I'm just... confused and I need some fucking guidance," Cillian  said, his voice heavy with frustration and uncertainty.

"I see," Niamh said, nodding sympathetically. "Is it about what we discussed in our last session? Because, as I said before, at your age, not wanting to be intimate can be quite normal," Niamh said gently, referring to the fact that Cillian had lost his interest intimacy about three years ago when his marriage had become more than just slightly troubled.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands over his tired face. "No, actually, it's not about that," he admitted, meeting Niamh's eyes. "It's about something else.”

Niamh raised an eyebrow, but remained silent, signaling for him to continue.

"It's my stepdaughter," he confessed, "I have some sort of feelings for her. Strong ones, Niamh. I didn't see it coming. It happened suddenly, and now, I don't know what to do about it," he explained and Niamh leaned forward in her chair, her gentle eyes meeting his.

"Go on," she asked quietly, her tone supporting and understanding.

"I am attracted to her, not just platonically or paternally. I want her sexually and I feel guilty about it. I have never felt this way about anyone while I have been married, you know, but now, every time I see her, I am overwhelmed by a need to -" Cillian broke off, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"It's okay, take your time," Niamh said gently, her words an invitation for him to continue when he was ready.

"Thank you," Cillian murmured, taking a deep breath. "It's just that, she's my stepdaughter and I know it's fucking wrong,"  he said, rubbing his hand over his face again.

"I assume that she is, uhm, your adult stepdaughter? Cliona? The one that has been living with you for a while?" Niamh asked after running through her notes, seeing that you had never been mentioned in these sessions before. 

"Cliona?" Cillian gasped. "No, it's her twin sister, Y/N. She moved in with us a few days ago," he replied, his voice filled with a sense of urgency.

"I see, and you are finding yourself attracted to her?" Niamh inquired, jotting down his response.

"Yes and it's making things really complicated. I haven't made a move. But when I am around her, I can't help but feel...enticed, and it's consuming me," Cillian admitted, his eyes lost in thought.

A moment of silence passed between them before Niamh spoke, "It's important to remember that feeling attraction to another person is not a crime, but acting on them in this situation can be problematic and harmful," she said gently.

Cillian nodded, taking that in. "I know, and I don't want to hurt her or my wife for that matter," he said, sighing deeply.

"Good. That's a healthy perspective," Niamh replied, nodding encouragingly.  "Now, let's explore this attraction you feel. What is it exactly about her that draws you in?"

Cillian sat up straighter, his gaze lost in thought as he tried to simply her feelings into words. "It's her intelligence and creativity I suppose. Her curiosity about the world is so captivating to watch," he explained, carefully choosing his words. "She's bold and there's a spark in her eyes - an unapologetic, fierce beauty - that I find incredibly attractive," Cillian confessed, his voice softening.

Niamh nodded, understanding the depth of his feelings. "It's understandable that you would be drawn to someone with those qualities. But as you already acknowldged, your feelings are complicated and can have serious consequences."

Cillian nodded solemnly, knowing that his feelings could potentially ruin his marriage and hurt his stepdaughter. "What should I do, Niamh? How do I move past this?" he asked desperately.

He was at a loss of what to do, and the guilt was consuming him.

"Firstly, Cillian, I want you to understand that it is completely normal to feel attracted to others, even if they are close to us." Niamh's voice was calm and reassuring, and Cillian felt a small sense of relief wash over him.  "So, it is important to take a step back and examine your feelings. Acknowledge them, process them, but above all, do not act on them until you have had a chance to carefully consider the consequences."

"I understand," Cillian said, nodding his head solemnly. "But how do I move past these feelings? Because I just want them to stop."  He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"I am afraid that you may not be able to ever truly move past these feelings," Niamh said gently. "And the only way forward, Cillian, is to address them, acknowledge them, accept them, and manage them."

Cillian took a deep breath, his voice filled with exhaustion. "Manage them, but how?" he asked, unsure of where to start.

"By making a conscious decision to distance yourself from her," Niamh replied, her voice firm but gentle. "Even in your own house, do not engage with her  unless absolutely necessary. Refrain from spending any unnecessary time with her. Focus on nurturing your relationship with your wife and your daughter Sadie."

Cillian nodded slowly, taking in her words. "Alright, I will try and do that ," he said, committing to the plan.

Niamh then leaned back in her chair, her gaze steady on him. "It's important to note that these feelings won't disappear overnight, Cillian. It will take time and hard work to manage them, but it's imperative that you do, for your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of your loved ones."

Cillian took a deep breath, his eyes meeting hers. "I know," he said quietly, feeling more resolved than ever to take control of the situation and do what was best for everyone involved.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[beweepbomp]

I NEEDED TO URGENTLY VENT BECAUSE IDK WAHT ELSE TO DO.

A lil background. I knew my sexuality as like early as 12. I had two gfs but never anything physical. Now as adult trying to venture out to physical things with another woman. This person we will refer to as Lizzy, from the convos we had never was with a woman in any manner ever but interested to try with me. Okay now this is the insane shit i went thru. enjoy.

Lizzy matched on tinder with me and she asked after some great chit chatting to exchange #'s. Sounds great what could go wrong. After several back n forth spicy texts of what we want to do finally we say hey we should definitely meet up. A few days pass by to finally our meet up date. Science. Ghosted. Okay no biggie. 19 DAYS LATER “Hi i got busy how are you?” I brush it off things do happen and I’m trying to be reasonable. I reply with a hello. No reply again. 40 DAYS LATER “How are you?” At this point I roll my eyes. This is not worth the energy but wow she’s actually replying back idk maybe just shit happens. She tells me it’s been a busy summer travel & work. Okay fair. She shows me cute magnets she made and tells me she’s house sitting.

After a few text exchanges she’s asking me to come over. I get hesitant but she insists. WHAT COULD GO WRONG I SAY? I text her I’ll get ready and take an Uber over. Let me tell you i was giving femme hotness. My skirt was so hiked up. My cute shirt low v cut. Had a jean jacket since it was late into the night. I’m jittery with excitement. I call my best friend she gets the address and says to text me after etc. I order the Uber which was $30+ DOLLARS but i was too excited to care. In the middle of my Uber drive she texts she’s having a panic attack and throwing up. I feel awful. Did i freak her out? But i kept reassuring that we don’t need to do anything physical even when i arrive. No pressure. Assuring to have full consent before engaging in anything. But she insists she’s stuck in the bathroom throwing up and to turn around. Now I’m over 20 minutes away from my apartment around 11:30pm in the middle of the damn suburbs. I arrive and ask by text if i can just sit in the living room until the next Uber comes she says no. I’m outside alone in a foreign place terrified. I video chat with my best friend explaining the situation and she’s in shock as well. Putting me in danger in the middle of nowhere , just alone. Just perfect. My gay ass in the wind trying to remain calm since the streets are barely lit and i have no immediate way home. The connection to data is shitty but im able to order another Uber. Another $30+ out of to go back. But it’s fine no one’s fault right.

She insistently asks texting when my Uber will ber here. My connection isn’t great but it shows 9 minutes. It’s been at least 8 minutes now but the Uber isn’t properly showing the accurate time. My best friend what a god send kept me sane as i waited but a car pulls up and it definitely isn’t my Uber. “Oh i thought you were the girl im meeting with.” OH MY GOD i laugh almost loosing my mind. I point to her house, “oh no no she’s in there.’ Thankfully my Uber arrives as the guy calls out you’re beautiful. Oh thanks bud. Lizzy texts me to say that’s my friend helping me with my panic attack. of course i say seriously you have to be fucking joking. I freak out on her thru text and she insists she’d never intentionally try to put anyone in danger and every other excuse in the book and STILL try’s to see if we will meet up again. Of course i tell her she is fucking nuts and maybe next time be a hospitable hoe if you’re gonna be a hoe at all. I’m not against it but also don’t make a crazy lie and embarrass me. I have no idea im like crushed to seek out afraid to have the same experience of wacky shit. What do i do???? Help pls

[enditen]

birds of a feather

summary: a bit of understandable anger toward your fiancé for— in your eyes— unwise decisions leads to hurt feelings and avoidance. thankfully, the two of you come back together in the most interesting of places.

word count: 4090ish.

rating: m

warnings: public sexual acts. talk of death ( rooster's, goose's and carole's ). angst. two adults being stubborn fools. talk about breasts. talk about ruining hawaiian shirts and dress whites. kind of playing around with naval deployments and what not.

pairing: bradley ( rooster ) bradshaw x female reader ( callsign vulture )

author's note: hi, first fic in this fandom that was simply supposed to be hot titty fucking with a title of a tit for a cock and then turned into 4k of angst then some titty fucking. some of you might recognize me from another fandom on here on tumblr to which if you do, hi y'all. also i feel like i missed tags and i'm sorry about that. assuming i write more for this because i've gotten over my nervousness i'll learn. and special thanks to @blurredcolour for being a little cheerleader

You’re beginning to wonder if there’s just something about Maverick that just turns everyone around him a bit stupid. You like to think that most of the team surrounding your fiancé aren’t idiots and yet there you were being proven completely wrong as you listened to Bradley explain what exactly had happened on the mission.



“That’s not what he meant when he said don’t think!” You remembered screaming into the phone, knowing fully well that while Mav was his own special brand of stupid- and deliriously lucky he wasn’t the same level of pure unadulterated idiocy Bradley was displaying.

“It worked out!” Was somehow his raspy defense and it had taken all your self control to not hang up the phone right then and there, the sheer unmitigated aggravation seeping through your pores As it stood, what you did end up doing was letting out the world’s most put upon sigh as you rolled your eyes.



“You’re just lucky Mav didn’t have to bury another bird.” At Rooster’s sharp inhale you started to speak again. “I didn’t mean it— I’m just—”



“No. I get it, Vulture,” he spat out your callsign, a definite sign that he’s pissed and you had struck a nerve you honestly shouldn’t have right in that moment before you heard something in the background. “You don’t have to come get me, I’ll get home fine.”



The silence after he hung up feels almost as all consuming as the idea of him dying was.

It’s always been a thing that when one of you comes back from deployment or from a mission or from visiting friends who are stationed somewhere else that you pick one another up. Some of your friends call it silly, but for you and Rooster it works. You’ve always wanted to be together all the time but at the same time— when opportunities present themselves you’ve never been the type to ignore them. Hell, even if you wanted to, the other one would just argue against ignoring the opportunity. That’s why you found yourself here, waiting for Rooster to come back from what should have been a mission he didn’t come back from. What was almost a mission he didn’t come back from. You wonder if this is how his mom felt with his father and if the reason she never wanted him to become a pilot like this is to avoid anyone else having her fate. You see Rooster walking with Hangman and are about to lean out of the car to tell him to get his ass in the car before he sees you through your windshield. The look he gives you is one of aggravation and hurt that you’ve so rarely seen on his face that it practically pins you to your seat in the car. You've seen those brown eyes look at you with so much love and you've made jokes comparing them to warm chocolate more than once but in this moment— all they do is remind you of a hardened and unbreakable tree.



He shakes his head before turning to keep talking to Hangman, laughing at some probable dumb joke the man said and you swear your stomach drops through the floor of the car. You hadn’t thought he was serious about not wanting you to come get him and here he was getting into someone else’s car to go— home? Maybe, or maybe he was going to crash on Hangman’s couch or find— no. No, for all that Rooster was angry with the slip of your tongue he would never cheat on you. He loves you in a way that makes other people sick and makes Maverick and Penny tell you that yeah, you kind of remind them of his dad and Carole.



Still, he’s never been this angry at you and that terrifies you in ways that you can’t put into words. You’ve flown dangerous missions that didn’t terrify you as much as the look on Rooster’s face did right in that moment. After what feels like hours, but is only really ten minutes you pull out of the area you were parked in and head home. You don’t realize Hangman hasn’t left and that Rooster watches you leave from his side of the truck. 



“She couldn’t have done anything that bad, man.” Jake tries to reason as he puts the truck in reverse. 



“You don’t know her like I do," he scoffs, shaking his head and slipping on his aviators. "I forgot why she’s called Vulture. Just— Just drive.”

You suppose it's a mercy that you see Rooster the next morning, making coffee as if he didn't break your tradition with one glance through a car windshield. Suppose you should be thankful he's back home and in your kitchen and not back home in a casket, but you've never been one to allow yourself simple pleasures like that when you're hurt. When your heart's twisted into the version of itself that only releases anger and toxic fumes to push away everyone you hold dear.



That anger has your mouth moving before your brain can catch up and make you see sense. All you know is that the man you love hasn't said one word to you since that phone call and he's only making one cup of coffee and not two. Another tradition broken and you can only see red.



"Are you ignoring me?" You ask the moment he turns around, sipping his coffee without seemingly a care in the world.



Bradley isn't necessarily the more verbose out of the two of you, but he's never particularly short with you. Today is the exception, much like everything about the past two days.



"No." A pause as he sets down his coffee cup and you see a bit of coffee clinging to his upper lip and that stupid little mustache you've grown to love over the years. "Maybe."



"Maybe," you parrot, moving over to where he's standing and watching as he moves just far enough away to allow you to grab your own cup and your own specific pod to make your coffee. "You nearly die, I say something stupid and now you're acting like a moody teenager. Cute, Roo."



Roo. Not even Rooster and certainly not his name because he certainly doesn't deserve it in this moment. You watches as his eyes drift over your body, noting how you're wearing one of his favorite Hawaiian shirts with the top buttons unbuttoned, revealing skin that normally he'd have covered in kisses a thousand times over since he returned last night. Instead it's unmarred by his lips and teeth and you're as vicious as can be. Two can play that game. Two can be childish.



"I'm sorry, something stupid. No— no, you didn't say something stupid. You said something cruel. That's a big difference, babe. One is normal, the other is you reminding me that I could have left you alone just like my mom was. Like that didn't go through my head. Like Maverick didn't tell me that much while we were heading back. "



A laugh erupts from deep inside your chest as you turn to look at Rooster. "Did it really go through your head? Did you think I'm throwing away my life with Vulture because I need to save someone who ruined parts of my life? Or did your brain get scrambled from the G's?"



You watch as eyes that you love start to fill with something resembling tears as his hand clenches the coffee cup. He loves you, he knows that to be a simple fact. He loves you. His father loved him and his mother. Mav loves him and loved his father and his mother. And you love him. In this moment though, that last one feels like a joke, feels like a dagger twisting in his chest. Maybe you don't love him if this is what you want to spew at him. You're a woman who should have had a callsign of Viper but only gets Vulture because you can handle things other people couldn't. You take care of things other people wouldn't or couldn't. He supposes you taking on all of those things is what makes you the way you are.



"It's what my dad would have done," he forces the words out and tries to not cry because you know what that means to him. You know know better than anyone. "I was his wingman."



"And what about my wingman, Bradley?" Your question comes out softer than you mean it to even as you slam your coffee pod into the machine. Somehow tears start to tease the edge of your eye line. "You were just going to leave me without mine. You really are your father's son. Guess I should be happy we don't have a little you running around. That's a little too on the nose."



The slam of the coffee cup startles you more than anything you've thought was possible in that moment and yet without missing a beat you turn to face Rooster once again in time for you to see angry tears falling from his eyes. "I'm not doing this. You're— I didn't leave you. You're not having to bury me and you're not having to be by my side as I bury the closest thing I have to a father now. That is what should matter. Not what I did. What I know you would have done for some people. What you'd have done for Phoenix alone. I'm here in our kitchen wearing my engagement ring and you're just wearing my shirt and not sobbing into it because it's the closest thing that smells like me. Let it go." He takes a moment to take a shaky breath and starts to move toward you. "I made a mistake but I don't regret it. Let. It. Go."



If you were younger, if you were the same girl Rooster met all those years ago you'd have taken your ring off and slammed it on the counter right next to his coffee cup in a fit of anger. You're older now, same as Bradley and you stop yourself even as your hand inches toward your ring finger. Bradley's always been taller than you unless you're in heels and it forces you to look up at him. "You forget who you're wanting to marry, Bradshaw. I'm— I'm not letting this go. Just— you know what, sleep on the couch, do whatever. I don't care— you're not sleeping in our bed. Especially if you want to act like I meant to say what I said in the first place. You want to ignore me? Fine. Then do that."



You see Bradley's jaw tense, and watch the way it moves as you normally would enjoy before he speaks. "Wasn't planning on sleeping there for a while anyway. Enjoy your coffee, Y/N."

Ever since you had started dating, you and Bradley had talked every single day. No matter the fight, no matter what happened between you two you would never let something like this drag on for so long. Life was short after all and you two were both vividly aware of that.



This time though, this time it drags on for two weeks and you have a half right mind to stand in front of Bradley until he talks until you realize from how even Phoenix looks at you while at the Hard Deck that it wouldn't help. It truthfully might make things worse. So you let him stew and he lets you stew. You miss him and you like to think he misses you but you're both very stubborn people who know how to hold grudges with the best of them.



It's strange, ignoring someone you love in your own house but sometimes you'd like to argue that you and Bradley are strange people. Normal most of the time but with those small little scars inside and out that make you do strange things. Strange things like make sure your dress whites are ready to go the day of what you think is a ceremony— honestly you hadn't paid attention for once to the notice. That's what you do with someone you love and someone you care about— not someone you're still so angry with that it hurts to talk to them.



You arrive separately to questioning looks from most of the Dagger Squad and Maverick but you both shrug and smile them off even as you stay apart most of the night. What you both don't realize is that the other is sneaking glances when one of you looks away. Your eyes take in the man who you think— you hope— is still going to be your future husband and bemoan the fact that he can't wear this uniform everywhere. There's something special about seeing him all dressed in white and looking every bit a dashing naval aviator.



His eyes? Oh, his eyes take in the woman he knows he's still going to marry if one of you would just break already. They take in you in white which you hate wearing because it shows off everything and stains and all those silly things you say. They take in how your jacket contains your chest but how the buttons strain just a little and how he knows that you're probably wearing a lace bra that he loves underneath it. He knows how that bra feels against his hands when he cups your breasts and squeezes them in his hands. Your chest is a work of art sometimes— all the time really and he hasn't touched in over two weeks.



Jake is the one who notices how Bradley's eyes haven't left you for a few minutes and notices how he's shifting in place— fidgeting in a way he's never seen him.



"She's been staring at you too," the blonde chuckles. "This is— This is every bad high school dance and military ball I've ever been to rolled into one. Go over to her, Rooster. Stop pining, man."



Bradley wants to defend himself but he turns to look at you again only to catch your eyes and how they slide down his body before stopping at his crotch and— he finds most logic and sense goes out the window. Like two magnets drawn to one another you both find yourselves by each other's sides, with hands grazing each other's hips.



"I—" He starts before you shake your head.



"I was being cruel. You've— We both know I get like that and I was terrified, Bradley. I saw our lives flashing before my eyes the second I found. It was gone in an instant. That doesn't excuse—" Your words are cut off with a soft kiss that you're both endlessly thankful no one sees.



"Babe. Trust me, I know I was an idiot and that same vision you had? Yeah, you weren't the only one. I swear I heard my mom and my dad yelling at me." His words are soft as he nuzzles his nose against yours, laughing softly when you scrunch up your nose because of his mustache. "I'm sorry."



You sniffle a little, partially to prevent a sneeze from his mustache hair and to cover up the fact that you're a little emotional. "I'm sorry too." You take a moment to look up meet his eyes only to see how his eyes are trained on your breasts. "Lieutenant Bradshaw, are you staring at my boobs in public? At a function?"



You watch as a light dusting of color reaches his cheeks before he bites his lips. "And if I am?"



A breath leaves your mouth slowly as you move the hand that's been on his hip toward the front of his dress pants, giggling softly at the slight hardness you feel. "I'd say you should stop unless you want me to take care of this in the bathroom."



His eyes dart around the room checking to see if anyone will notice you're both gone for a bit before he laughs. "Meet you there in five?"



You practically give yourself minor whiplash as you nod quickly. "Can I keep the bra on?"



His groan almost gives the two of you and your plans away.

The great thing, you think, about this bra, is that it makes it so easy to have Bradley stick his cock in between your breasts without taking it off. You know by the end he'll want it off, want to squeeze your breasts as he slides his cock in between them but in the beginning he's fine with this.



"I missed my girls," he groans as you press your arms against the side of your chest, pushing your breasts together even more. "Should— Should've gotten over myself and fucked you in my shirt that morning."



"You would have gotten come on your favorite Hawaiian shirt, Bradley," you try to reason with him even as your voice takes on an airy sort of quality the quicker your fingers move in between your legs. You should have taken off your pants but you realize it's a little too late for that now.



"We're probably getting come on our dress whites, babe." It's a joke but one that's likely very true from the way you can see his cock pulse and from the way your fingers— even through the articles of clothing you're wearing sound so obscene as they squelch and slide between your folds. "Would've made it better. Fuck, swear this bra does something to your tits."



"It's a bra? A dressy one? That's the point?" You can't help but giggle as he moves faster, his cock gilding against the soft skin of your breasts. "You getting close baby?"



"Lil bit," he grunts out, his hand moving to try and grasp at one of your nipples. "You wanna free them? Let your nipples join in on the fun?"



"You just wanna smear them with precome, Bradshaw, you're not slick." It's not a no, and your hands move to start undoing your bra even as you look up and see Bradley with the dumbest smirk you've ever seen him have. "Why are you—"



"You're slick though," he pulls his cock out from between your breasts and bends down to kiss you as your bra releases your breasts. "Bad—"



"Bad dirty dad joke," you cut him off with a fond shake of your head. "At least wait until we have a little birdy before you stoop that low."



A shrug is the only answer you get as he lines his cock up with your breasts and waits for you to press them together before saying a single phrase. "Sorry. It's in my blood."



You look up at him through your eyelashes and sigh, ignoring how your heart twists a little at the faked twinkle in those brown eyes of his. Instead you bend your head down just a little to lick a small kitten lick at the head of his cock. "Doomed to those jokes for the rest of my life as Mrs. Bradshaw. What have I done?"



A shudder ripples through him at your lick and he has to force himself to not come right then and there all over your perfectly made up face. He wants to though, wants to see you debauched like you should have been the second he came home and was alive and in your arms. He should have painted your face white. Should have made it so there was a stain on his favorite shirt that he'd wear proudly because it'd tell everyone how needy you two were for each other. It'd remind everyone that he's taken by the most vicious, intelligent, and vivacious woman he's ever met. It'd remind him that you missed him that much that you couldn't bear to be apart from some part of him for too long.



He didn't though and he can't right now but tonight when you're home and laying across your shared bed maybe he can do it then and watch as your lips try and lick bits off your face. The image he paints in his mind is something else and it has him clenching the fabric of your jacket before his own hands move to play with the tops of your breasts. The action earns a low whine from you, wanting more of his large hands on you, his thumbs playing with your nipples as he kisses you. You two have to make this quick though and it shows in how Bradley's thrusts increase in speed and how he motions for you to do something— anything— with your boobs and your hands until you finally catch onto his meaning.



"You are so boob drunk, Bradley," you mutter as your hand wraps around the part of his cock not between your breasts. With every thrust up you manage a lick or two just to tease him until you see his thrusts getting messier and less controlled.



A breathless low chuckle leaves him. "Nah, just you drunk. Fuck, babe, Y/N. I'm— let him go. Gonna—"



"Cum on them. Just cum on them. I'll wipe it off."



You look up with all the confidence in the world to see him with blown out pupils and a wet lips from where he's bitten them to keep quiet. "You su—" You cut him off with an almost violent nod that has the head of his cock brushing your chin as he does. "Okay okay."



What happens next is a flurry of limbs and grunts and low whines from you and Bradley as you chase your respective highs. Bradley comes first, hips stuttering, painting your chest with his cum, pearly white and just uncontrolled enough that some lands on your lips and chin and another bit lands on your dress shirt, narrowly avoiding your jacket. Your name falls from his lips easily as you look up at him, your fingers curling just so inside of you as he reaches out to cup your cheek his brown eyes so full of love, arousal and adoration that you come with a silent cry, your body threatening to fall forward from the sheer intensity but his strong hands are there to stop you.



You both lean back— him against the wall and you on your knees- catching your breath before he moves to grab paper towels, wetting them just enough for you to clean his release off of you. He embarrassingly lets out something close to a childish whine as he watches you lick the traces of come off your lips until you raise an eyebrow at him and his hardening cock.



"When we get home." You both manage to say at the same time before letting out matching peals of laughter. After a moment where you both can't keep a straight face Bradley starts to tuck himself inside his dress pants and you start to button your shirt back up before he pulls you up with an ease that marvels you even to this day. You feel the warmth of his large hand through your shirt as he straightens it out, making sure it's regulation ready. He winces at the slight stain of his come near your shoulder before remembering you still have to get your jacket on. His hands make quick work of the buttons and he notes with pride the only sliver of come one can see is easily explained away as water.



You can't help but bite your lip at Bradley when you see him looking down at you, inspecting his handiwork. Almost as if he realizes you're staring he meets your eyes and smiles this stupid half smile that makes his mustache look far cuter than it has any right to be and has his eyes dancing with mirth.



"Come on Lieutenant Bradshaw, they're gonna notice if we stay here," he tries to school his face into something resembling a serious look before he chuckles softly.



"Aye aye, Lieutenant Bradshaw." A pause. "You can't call me by your last name yet, you know."



He shrugs, unlocking the door as he wraps his arm around your waist. "I almost died. I can do it if I want. Besides, saw your thighs tense up."



You tamp down on the urge to slap his arm playfully as your own arm moves to snake around his waist. "You're lucky I love you."



"Yeah,' he stops right before you reach the door to reenter the hall and presses you just lightly against the wall. "I love you too."

[oceandolores]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | chapter 12

"If it's meant to be, then it will be,"

summary: you and Joel preparing to hot the road

warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, AU, No outbreak. (TW) mentions of substance abuse/alcohol use disorder, adult content, religion abuse, violence, blood gore, mentions of death, sexual abuse, sexual content, domestic violences, ped0ph!l1a, cann1bal!sm, human traff1ck1ng, dad's best friend!Joel, HUGE age gap (i will not specify her exact age, but she's legal and Joel is 49), daddy issues, mentions of toxic family dynamic, Joel is widowed, Ellie is 16, angst, smut A LOT, forbidden relationship, soft and protective Joel, innocent and pure reader. your last name is Gibson. any other details will be explain throughout the story. inspired by the album Preacher's daughter by Ethel Cain and also mix with lana del rey vibes.

CHAPTER 12

previous | chapter 11

masterlist!

The days at Bill and Frank's had passed in a quiet rhythm, each one a small piece of normalcy that felt almost surreal after everything you and Joel had been through. You'd been here five days now, but it felt like you'd known this place much longer. Tomorrow was your birthday, and it also marked the beginning of your journey across the country with Joel—a journey that felt like the start of something new, something hopeful.

Joel had left earlier in the day, telling you he needed to get some supplies for the trip. He kissed you softly before he left, the kind of kiss that lingered on your lips long after he was gone. You had a feeling there was more to his errand, but you didn’t press him. Joel wasn’t one for surprises, but when he did plan something, it was always thoughtful, always meaningful.

In the meantime, you found yourself in the garden with Frank, helping him plant strawberries. The sun was warm on your back, the earth cool under your fingers as you worked. There was something soothing about the repetitive motion, the way the world seemed to shrink down to the small patch of soil in front of you.

“Ever done any gardening before?” Frank asked, breaking the silence. His voice was warm, with a hint of curiosity.

You smiled, shaking your head as you wiped the sweat from your brow with the back of your hand. “Not really. I mean, I helped my mom with her flowers when I was little, but nothing like this.”

Frank chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he glanced over at you. “It’s good work. Honest work. Helps you clear your mind.”

You nodded, feeling the truth in Frank’s words as you pushed another seed into the earth. The simple act of planting, of giving life to something, grounded you in a way nothing else could. It narrowed the world down to the soil beneath your nails and the warmth of the sun on your back, a welcome distraction from the whirlwind of emotions that had been swirling inside you since you and Joel arrived.

“So, what did you do back in town?” Frank asked again, his tone light but tinged with curiosity. He worked beside you, his hands as steady and sure as his voice.

“I’m a senior in high school, but my dad is a preach--” you began, focusing on the task at hand. But before you could say more, Frank froze, his eyes widening as he turned to you with a look of concern.

“Wait, don’t tell me you’re 17?” His voice held a mix of surprise and alarm.

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at the misunderstanding. “No, I’m not. I’m turning 20 uh soon,"

Frank let out a breath of relief, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. “Thank God. I almost wanted to strangle Joel if I found out he’d run off with someone underage.”

You laughed again, the sound lighter this time. “No, Joel’s a good man."

Frank nodded, but a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, but he’s kind of stupid for running away with a girl younger than--” His tone was playful, but as the words left his mouth, he seemed to realize how they might come across. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

You quickly shook your head, waving off his concern. “No, it’s fine. I get it too. Why would Joel risk everything for me? A girl way younger than him, and basically fucked up,” you said with a self-deprecating laugh, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

Frank’s expression softened, a mixture of empathy and regret. “Hey, don’t talk about yourself like that,” he said gently. “We’ve all got our shit. You’re just two people trying to make it in this messed-up world.”

You nodded, the weight of his words settling in your chest. “I know, but sometimes it just feels like… I’m dragging him down. He could’ve had a normal life, maybe even with someone appropriate for him,”

Frank looked at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours. “You really think he’d be happier with someone else?” he asked quietly. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like Joel would move mountains for you. He doesn’t care about anything, or what anyone else thinks. He cares about you.”

His words hit you harder than you expected, and for a moment, you felt the sting of tears behind your eyes. You blinked them away, focusing on the task at hand, but Frank wasn’t done.

“Love makes you do crazy things,” he continued, his voice softer now, almost reflective. “I’ve seen it. People in love… they’ll give up everything just to be with the person they care about. They’d tear down their own world for the person, they’d walk through fire, go to the ends of the earth, just to keep them safe.”

"It’s not always logical, or easy, but it’s real." Frank said again.

You swallowed, feeling the truth of his words sink deep into your bones. “Yeah,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “Sometimes I wonder if I'm worth all that risk."

Frank chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Trust me, kid. If Joel’s willing to risk it all for you, then you’re worth it. And maybe, you’re exactly what he needs.”

The silence that followed was heavy but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that let you breathe, let you think. You realized then that Frank understood more than you’d given him credit for. He knew what it was like to love someone so fiercely that nothing else mattered. And in that moment, you felt a little less alone.

Frank seemed to sense that you were lost in thought, so he gently steered the conversation back to where it had been. “You said your dad’s a preacher?”

“Yeah,” you replied, grateful for the change in topic. “I help him out with the church. It’s a small town, so everyone knows everyone. My dad’s been the preacher there for as long as I can remember.”

Frank nodded, his eyes soft with understanding. “No wonder you're so religious," he said with a small smile, though his tone carried no judgment, just observation. "Growing up in a preacher's household, I imagine faith is second nature to you."

You shrugged lightly, fingers still playing in the soil, your thoughts a bit more tangled. “I guess so. It’s always been a big part of my life—going to church, helping out with the community. My dad… he has a way of making it seem like everything revolves around it.”

Frank gave a thoughtful nod, his hands pausing as he considered your words. “And what about you? Do you believe in all of it?”

The question hung in the air for a moment, heavy and complex. You hadn’t expected such a direct inquiry, especially not from someone like Frank, who had seen more of life’s darkness than many.

You sighed, the weight of his question settling in your chest. “I don’t know,” you began, your voice soft, almost hesitant.

“I used to believe in it all, every word, every sermon. But… sometimes I wonder. Why is it that someone who tries so hard to do right, to follow God’s teachings, ends up with a life full of pain and hardship?”

Frank watched you, his expression patient and understanding, the rhythm of your conversation slowing as if he knew you needed the space to sort through your thoughts.

“There were times,” you continued, “when it felt like no matter how much I prayed, how much I begged for things to get better, it was like my words just floated off into nothing. I’d ask for help, for some kind of sign that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t forgotten, but… nothing. It made me question everything. if God is there, why doesn’t He answer me? Why doesn’t He take away the pain?”

“I still pray, though” you said after a moment, your voice tinged with a fragile hope. “Because a part of me still wants to believe. Maybe God’s not silent. Maybe He’s just waiting for the right moment to answer. And maybe… He did answer, in a way."

"He gave me Joel. Maybe that’s God’s way of telling me that I’m not alone, that I haven’t been forgotten.”

Frank nodded, his gaze steady, absorbing everything you said. “Sounds like you’ve been through a lot,” he said gently. “But you’re still here, still standing. That’s something.”

"I'm thankful for it," you smile.

Frank’s smile grew, his eyes warm with encouragement. “And don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re still young, still figuring things out. Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it.”

“Yeah,” you agreed softly, the weight in your chest easing. “It does.”

For a moment, the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, the garden around you humming with life. The earth beneath your fingers felt grounding, as if by planting these small seeds, you were also planting a piece of yourself, nurturing the hope that you could one day find peace, find home.

Frank broke the silence with a soft sigh, turning his gaze back to you. “So, what’s next for you and Joel? Do you have a plan?”

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” you said, a hint of excitement creeping into your voice. “We’re going to travel across the country, see the states. Joel said he wants to show me everything.”

Frank’s eyes twinkled with a mix of curiosity and warmth as he listened. “That sounds like quite the adventure,” he said, his tone gentle but encouraging. “Do you know where you’ll head first?”

“We’re thinking Kansas or Louisiana,” you replied, your mind drifting to the vast, unknown roads ahead. “After that, we’ll just go where the wind takes us. Eventually, we’re planning to settle down in California.”

Frank tilted his head slightly, his expression thoughtful. “California, huh? Big state. You aiming for the coast?”

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “No, nothing like that. Joel’s always talked about wanting a ranch, somewhere quiet and peaceful. Maybe a place like Davis, where we can have some land, grow our own food. It’s… it’s like his dream, you know? Something simple, something ours.”

Frank smiled, a soft, almost wistful look in his eyes. “A ranch in California… I can see that. Sounds like a good life. Quiet, surrounded by nature, away from all the chaos.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, the thought of that quiet life with Joel filling you with a sense of peace. “It’s what we both want. A place to finally call home.”

Frank chuckled, breaking the moment with a lightheartedness that was infectious. “Well, if you two end up with a ranch in California, I’ll expect a fresh batch of strawberries in the mail every month,” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “And if Joel starts getting grumpy, just remind him he promised to bake pies, not just grow the ingredients.”

You laughed, the sound bright and genuine. “I’ll hold him to that. He’s got a lot of promises to keep.”

Frank’s smile softened, and he looked at you with a kind of admiration. “You know, it’s really good to see Joel like this,” he said, his tone thoughtful. “He’s been through a lot, and for the first time in a long time, he seems… happier. You’ve done something to him, and I don’t just mean in the obvious way.”

You tilted your head, curiosity piqued. “Do you know much about his family? His late wife and daughter?”

Frank’s expression shifted, a shadow crossing his features. “Wait, Joel hasn't told you that?"

You shook your head, feeling a slight twinge of concern in your chest. Frank's brows furrowed, clearly surprised that Joel hadn’t shared much about his past with you. He seemed to contemplate for a moment, then sighed, a mix of hesitation and empathy in his eyes.

“It’s not really my place to tell you,” Frank finally said, his voice gentle but firm. “That’s something Joel needs to share with you himself. It’s… a part of his life that’s really hard for him to talk about. When he’s ready, I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

You nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. The unanswered questions lingered in your mind, but you knew better than to push. If Joel hadn’t brought it up yet, there had to be a reason.

***

After dinner, the house had settled into a calm quiet. Frank and Bill had retreated to their own space, leaving you and Joel alone in the cozy guest room where you’d been staying. The room was softly lit by the gentle glow of a bedside lamp, casting a warm and inviting light over everything.

You were curled up on the bed, absorbed in reading The Catcher in the Rye. The novel’s pages whispered tales of youthful rebellion and existential musings, a soothing contrast to the day's activities. The sound of Joel’s footsteps drew your attention, and you looked up as he entered the room, his presence filling the space with a comforting familiarity.

Joel had changed into a more relaxed outfit—simple trouser and a well-worn shirt—his rugged look softened by the evening’s relaxed atmosphere. He moved with a quiet grace, as if aware of the calm that enveloped the room.

You patted the space next to you on the bed, a silent invitation. “Come here,” you said softly, setting the book aside and making room for him.

Joel settled beside you, his weight pressing down gently on the mattress. He let out a contented sigh as you began to massage his shoulders, your fingers working out the tension from the day. The warmth of his body against yours was reassuring, a gentle reminder of the closeness you shared.

As you continued your soothing touch, your curiosity got the better of you. “So, what did you get for the supplies for tomorrow?” you asked, your voice a mix of casual interest.

Joel chuckled, his shoulders relaxing under your hands. “Brought some extra food, a few things we might need for the road. Should be enough for a couple of weeks if we need it. If we run low, we can always pick up more.”

You tilted your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “And what time are we heading out tomorrow?”

“We’ll be hitting the road early,” Joel replied. “Trying to get a good start. We’ll be making our way across state lines, and we’ll probably stay in motels or hotels along the way.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of anticipation and adventure bubbling up inside you. “Where are we starting from?”

Joel’s eyes met yours, a spark of excitement in his gaze. “First stop is going to be Louisiana. We’ll decide as we go along, just see where the road takes us. We’ve got a route planned out, but we can always adjust it as we go.”

You smiled, the thought of your upcoming journey filling you with a blend of excitement and nostalgia. Tomorrow was supposed to be your graduation day—a milestone that marked the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. Instead of celebrating with friends and preparing for college, you were embarking on a journey across the country with Joel. It felt like you were stepping into a new world, leaving behind the familiar safety of the past.

As you lay there, your mind drifted to the life you were leaving behind. The road stretched out before you like a ribbon of possibilities, each mile a promise of new experiences and uncharted territories. The contrast between the expectations of a conventional future and the reality of your spontaneous adventure was both exhilarating and daunting.

Joel’s voice brought you back to the present. “You okay?” he asked, his tone gentle as he noticed the thoughtful look on your face.

You nodded, shifting closer to him. “Yeah, it’s crazy to think where we are now. I was supposed to graduate tomorrow,” you said, a wistful edge to your voice.

Joel's eyes softened as he looked at you, the weight of your words sinking in. He remembered the first time he’d seen you by the river near the church, your solitude painting a poignant picture against the backdrop of your small town. Back then, you’d seemed like a fragile bird on the cusp of flight, your future an unwritten story stretching far beyond Texas.

A flicker of guilt crossed Joel’s face, his brow furrowing slightly. He knew he had taken you away from that life—the dreams and plans you had woven for yourself. The vast expanse of your potential future lay before you, like a sky brimming with stars, each one representing a possibility now momentarily eclipsed by your unexpected journey.

Joel’s voice was low, almost hesitant. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way. You had plans, dreams. I feel like I’ve taken you away from everything you were meant to do.”

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on Joel’s cheek. “No, Joel, don’t say that,” you said softly. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault. I’m the one who feels like I’ve ruined your life. You’ve sacrificed so much for me, left everything behind.”

Joel’s gaze softened, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions. You continued, your voice tinged with confusion and concern. “No one will notice I’m gone, but you—” you looked into his eyes, searching for the answer to a question you couldn’t quite grasp. “You have a family, a job, a life. Why risk it all for me?”

Joel's eyes held yours, a storm of emotions swirling within them. He was silent for a moment, as if searching for the right words, his jaw tightening slightly before he spoke.

“It’s not about risking it all, darlin’,” Joel finally said, his voice low and steady. “It’s about choosing what matters most. Yeah, I had a life before you came along—a job, people I cared about—but none of it made me feel alive like you do. You’re not a risk; you’re a chance at something real, something worth fighting for.”

You could hear the sincerity in his words, but it was still hard for you to fully grasp why someone like him would put everything on the line for someone like you. “But I’ve caused so much trouble, Joel. I’ve taken you away from everything. How can you say I’m not ruining your life?”

Joel shook his head, his hand coming up to gently hold yours against his cheek. “You haven’t ruined anything. My life was already broken. But then you came into it, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like I had a purpose again. You didn’t take me away from anything—I chose this. I chose you."

Your heart ached at his words, a mix of guilt and gratitude swirling inside you. "I'm sorry," you said once again.

Joel’s thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand as he held it against his cheek. His eyes softened, reflecting a depth of emotion that made your breath catch. “You don’t need to be sorry, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice tender but firm. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

You stared at him, the raw honesty in his eyes making you feel seen in a way you hadn’t before. It wasn’t just that he was here with you—it was that he chose to be, every day, every moment.

“I’m scared, Joel,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to let you down.”

He sighed softly, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. “You could never let me down, sweetheart. We’re in this together, okay? No more apologies, no more guilt. Just us, figuring it out as we go.”

You nodded, feeling the warmth of his words settle deep within you. “Okay,” you agreed, your voice steadying. “Just us.”

Joel leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled back slightly. “That’s right. Just us.”

For a moment, you both stayed like that, the world outside your small room fading away, leaving only the two of you, wrapped up in each other’s presence.

Finally, you broke the silence, your voice soft and hesitant. “Joel... do you ever think about them? About Jane and Sarah?”

Joel’s breath hitched slightly, and you felt his body tense under your touch. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice low. “Every day.”

You hesitated, your heart heavy with the weight of what you were about to ask. “What... what happened to them, Joel? I want to know. If it’s just going to be the two of us from now on, I want to be able to trust you with everything, and I want you to trust me too. Completely.”

Joel let out a long sigh, his hand running through his hair as if he were trying to smooth out the tangled thoughts in his mind. He looked at you, the vulnerability in his eyes more apparent than ever. “I’ve never really talked about it,” he began, his voice rough around the edges. “Not with anyone.”

You squeezed his hand, silently encouraging him to continue. “You can talk to me, Joel. I’m here."

He took another deep breath, then started to speak, his words slow and deliberate, as if each one carried a heavy burden. “We were driving back home that day. It had been a long day, and we were tired. Jane and I... we’d been arguing about something, I can’t even remember what it was about now, but it was heated. Sarah was in the back, just trying to ignore it all like she usually did when we fought.”

Joel’s voice faltered for a moment, but he pressed on. “I lost control of the car. It all happened so fast... one minute we were arguing, the next... we were off the road, and then everything just... stopped. I woke up in the hospital. They told me Jane didn’t make it. Sarah... she held on for a few days, but... she was gone too.”

His voice broke, and he swallowed hard, as if trying to push down the pain that was rising in his throat. “I blamed myself. Still do. I was the one driving, I was the one who lost control. I was supposed to protect them, and I failed.”

You felt a tear slip down your cheek as you listened, your heart aching for the man who had carried this pain with him for so long. “Joel,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “I’m so sorry. It wasn't your fault,"

He shook his head, his expression conflicted. “I should’ve done better. I should’ve been better.”

You leaned in, your forehead resting against his, your tears mingling with his. “You did everything you could, Joel. You loved them, and that’s what mattered most.”

As you held him close, Joel’s thoughts drifted into the shadows of his mind, a place where the past and present collided in a tangled mess of emotions. The memory of that day, the sound of metal crunching, the silence that followed, haunted him like a ghost that refused to be exorcised. It was a wound that never healed, festering beneath the surface, a reminder of everything he’d lost and everything he could never get back.

Losing Jane and Sarah had shattered him, leaving him hollow and broken. They were his world, his purpose, and when they were ripped away, it felt like the universe had punished him for daring to love too deeply. Since then, he’d built walls around his heart, thick and impenetrable, to keep the pain at bay, to protect himself from ever feeling that kind of loss again.

But then you came along, with your soft smiles and tender touch, and those walls began to crack. You found your way into his life, into the parts of him that he’d thought were dead and buried. And now, the thought of losing you was unbearable, a terror that gripped his soul with icy fingers. If he lost you, it would be like losing Jane and Sarah all over again—only this time, he wasn’t sure he’d survive it.

God knows what he would do if that happened. The thought alone made his heart race, his breath catch in his throat. You were his lifeline, the one thing that kept him tethered to this world, and the fear of losing you gnawed at him, relentless and unyielding. He couldn’t bear it—not again. He couldn’t survive another loss like that.

Joel knew he wasn’t perfect. He was rough around the edges, scarred by years of pain and regret. But with you, he wanted to be better. He wanted to protect you, to keep you safe, to give you the life you deserved. And yet, the fear lingered, whispering insidious doubts into his ear—what if he wasn’t enough? What if he failed you, too?

But as you leaned into him, your warmth grounding him in the present, Joel felt something shift inside him. He didn’t have to be perfect; he didn’t have to have all the answers. All he needed to do was hold on to you, to this moment, and trust that you could face whatever came next together.

The night stretched on as you and Joel stayed up, talking about your lives, sharing pieces of your pasts that you had never revealed before. Joel's voice was a steady, comforting presence in the dim light of the room, and though he opened up about so much, he skillfully avoided any mention of your father. It was a delicate line to walk—Joel had been his best friend, after all—but tonight wasn’t about reopening old wounds. It was about the two of you, building something new together from the ruins of what had been.

As the hours passed, your eyes grew heavy, the weight of the day and the depth of your conversation pulling you towards sleep. You were just about to drift off when Joel's voice, soft yet insistent, broke through the haze of your exhaustion.

“Baby, stay awake for a while for me,” he whispered, his hand gently guiding you to sit up and face him.

Confused but trusting, you blinked the sleep from your eyes and let him maneuver you, your heart skipping a beat at the tender way he looked at you. Joel reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, the sight of which immediately piqued your curiosity. You glanced at him, your tired mind struggling to piece together what was happening.

“Joel…?”

He didn’t say anything at first, just opened the box to reveal a delicate gold necklace. The pendant was a beautifully crafted sun, its rays shimmering in the faint light. It was simple yet breathtaking, and as you stared at it, something inside you stirred, a warmth spreading through your chest that chased away the last remnants of sleep.

“Happy birthday, doll,” Joel said softly, his voice tender and filled with affection.

For a moment, you just stared at him, stunned. No one had ever done something like this for you before. Not your parents, not anyone. You’d never been surprised or celebrated like this—never had someone put so much thought into making you feel special. The shock of it all brought a lump to your throat, and you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes again.

“Oh, Joel…” you breathed, your voice thick with emotion. “It’s beautiful.”

Joel’s eyes softened even more, and he gave you a small, almost shy smile. “You like it?”

You nodded quickly, reaching out to touch the pendant again, feeling its smooth, cool surface beneath your fingertips. “I love it,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. “I’ve never had anything like this before. No one’s ever… done anything like this for me.”

Joel’s smile faded into a more serious expression as he gently took your hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. “Well, you deserve it,” he said, his voice firm yet tender. “You deserve to be celebrated, to have someone make a fuss over you on your birthday. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”

The sincerity in his voice, the way he looked at you as if you were the most important person in his world—it was almost too much to bear. You felt overwhelmed, but in the best possible way. For the first time, you felt truly seen, truly loved.

You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around Joel’s neck, burying your face in his shoulder as the tears finally spilled over. “Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his shirt. “Thank you so much.”

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes, and before you could think twice, you pressed your lips to his in a soft, tender kiss. It was gentle, filled with all the emotions you couldn’t put into words—gratitude, love, a deep, unspoken connection that went beyond anything you’d ever known.

Joel kissed you back, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head, holding you close as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. When you finally broke apart, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your lips.

“You’re welcome, doll,” he murmured, his voice low and comforting. He gave you a small smile before pulling back slightly. “Now, turn around. I want to put the necklace on you.”

You did as he asked, turning your back to him as you gathered your hair to one side, exposing your neck. You could feel his fingers gently brushing against your skin as he fastened the clasp, the cool metal of the necklace resting against your collarbone. His touch was tender, almost reverent, as if he was handling something fragile and priceless.

“There,” Joel said softly, his voice warm with affection. “Perfect.”

You felt Joel’s fingers gently adjust the necklace, the cool metal resting comfortably against your collarbone. The delicate sun pendant seemed to radiate a quiet warmth, a perfect complement to the emotions swirling inside you.

As you held the pendant close to your heart, savoring the weight of the gift, Joel’s touch lingered. His lips brushed softly against the exposed skin of your neck, sending shivers of pleasure down your spine. The sensation was tender and soothing, each kiss a gentle affirmation of his love and devotion.

You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the moment. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this intimate space. Joel’s kisses continued, moving slowly along your neck and back, each touch a silent declaration of his feelings for you. His hands were warm, his touch reverent and filled with an unspoken tenderness.

The air between you was thick with emotion, the depth of your connection more tangible than ever. As Joel’s kisses grew more insistent, more passionate, you felt a powerful surge of desire and love. It was as if every touch, every kiss was a way for him to express the feelings he found difficult to put into words.

You turned slightly to face him, your body still trembling with anticipation. The look in his eyes was filled with a mix of love, longing, and an almost primal need to be close to you. There was an unspoken understanding between you, a recognition of the depth of your bond and the comfort you found in each other’s arms.

As the night deepened, the room was filled with the quiet sounds of your shared intimacy, each moment a beautiful blend of passion and tenderness. It was a celebration of your love, a testament to the journey you had taken together and the future you were building side by side.

***

The morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room as you quietly gathered your belongings. The guest room that had become your sanctuary with Joel felt strangely empty now, a bittersweet reminder of the safety and comfort you had found within these walls. You took a deep breath, running your fingers over the bedspread, smoothing out the wrinkles, as if by doing so you could somehow hold onto the memories you had created here a little longer.

Outside, you could hear the muffled sounds of Joel and Bill talking, the low rumble of voices mixed with the occasional clatter of supplies being loaded into the truck. Joel had insisted on helping with every last detail, making sure that everything was perfectly arranged for the long journey ahead. Bill, ever practical, had offered them one of his newer trucks—a vehicle more suited to the months on the road that lay ahead. Joel had tried to argue, offering to pay, but Bill had waved him off with a gruff laugh, saying, "It’s on me. Just don’t come back knockin’ on my door, you hear?"

You couldn’t help but smile at the memory, the warmth of Bill’s gruff generosity reminding you of how much you’d come to appreciate these two men who had given you and Joel a safe haven. As you moved around the room, making sure everything was in order, a soft knock at the door drew your attention.

It was Frank, standing in the doorway with a gentle smile on his face. "Mind if I come in?" he asked, his voice kind.

You nodded, stepping aside to let him enter. Frank’s presence had always been a source of quiet comfort, and now, as he stood there, it felt like the closing of a chapter you hadn’t realized was so dear to you.

"I wanted to say goodbye," Frank said, his tone a mix of affection and sadness. "Take care of yourself out there, kid. You’ve got a long road ahead of you."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling a wave of emotion wash over you. "Thank you, Frank. For everything."

Frank held out two items, both of which caught you by surprise: a well-worn Bible with a cracked leather cover, and a small handgun that looked like it had seen its fair share of years. You blinked, taken aback by the unexpected combination.

Frank noticed your hesitation and chuckled softly. "Happy birthday, kid," he said, his voice tinged with warmth and something almost fatherly. "I figured you might need both on the road. One to keep you safe from the world, and the other to keep you safe from yourself."

Your breath caught in your throat as you accepted the gifts, your fingers brushing over the rough texture of the Bible’s cover, feeling the weight of history it carried. The pages, yellowed with time, whispered of stories and lessons that had been passed down through generations. It wasn’t just a book; it was a relic, a piece of someone’s life, and now it was being entrusted to you.

"How did you know it's my birthday?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Frank gave you a knowing smile, glancing over his shoulder towards where Joel was finishing up with Bill. "Joel’s not great at keeping secrets," he said with a smirk. "He came to me, asking for advice on what to get you. He wanted it to be special, something you’d never forget. I had to pull it out of him, but he finally admitted that today’s your birthday."

You felt a warmth spread through your chest at Frank’s words, a deep appreciation for the man who stood before you. "Thank you," you said sincerely, your voice thick with emotion. "This means more to me than you know."

Frank nodded, his expression softening. "I’m not a religious man, but I know that faith is important to you. This Bible—it’s been with me for a long time, and I figured it might bring you some comfort, maybe even some guidance when you need it most."

You held the Bible close to your chest, its presence both comforting and grounding. "I’ll cherish it, Frank. Truly."

Frank’s gaze shifted to the handgun, still resting in your other hand. "And that," he said, his tone more serious, "is for when things get tough. I know Joel will do everything he can to protect you, but it doesn’t hurt to have something of your own. Just in case."

You nodded, understanding the gravity of the gift. The world outside was unforgiving, and as much as you believed in the power of faith, you knew that sometimes, survival required more than just hope. "Thank you, Frank," you repeated, your gratitude evident in your eyes.

Frank’s hand came up to rest on your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You’re a good kid," he said softly. "You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and I can see how much you mean to Joel. Take care of each other out there, okay?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the weight of his words. "We will," you promised.

Frank gave you one last, lingering look before stepping back towards the door. "I’ve packed some food for the road," he added, his voice returning to its usual warmth. "Figured you two could use it."

"Thank you," you said again, your voice filled with sincerity. "For everything."

As Frank nodded and stepped back, you carefully tucked the Bible into your bag, nestling it among your few belongings like a piece of home you could carry with you. The gun, however, felt heavier in your hands, not just in weight but in the responsibility it symbolized. You found an old handkerchief in your bag, wrapping the gun tightly within its folds, along with the bullets. This was a secret meant for emergencies only, something you hoped you'd never have to use. You knew Joel wouldn’t approve—his protective nature would have him shielding you from this harsh necessity. But you felt a strange sense of empowerment as you hid the gun deep in your bag, a quiet resolve settling in your chest.

After making sure nothing was left behind, you and Frank stepped out of the room. The hallway felt longer now, each step echoing with the finality of your departure. When you reached the front door, the sunlight greeted you, warm and bright, as if trying to dispel the lingering shadows of the past few days.

Joel was already standing by the truck, his strong frame leaning casually against the door as he spoke with Bill. He looked up as you approached, his eyes immediately finding yours, and a small, comforting smile tugged at his lips. "Ready to go?" he asked, his voice steady but laced with the same bittersweet undertone that seemed to hang in the air.

You nodded, your heart swelling with a mix of emotions. This place, these people—Frank and Bill—had given you something invaluable: a sanctuary, a place where you and Joel had found a moment of peace in a world full of chaos. It was hard to say goodbye.

Frank and Bill stood together, their figures silhouetted against the morning light. There was an unspoken understanding between all of you—a recognition of the bond that had formed in such a short time, and the knowledge that it might never be repeated.

"Thank you," you said, your voice soft yet filled with gratitude. "For everything. We wouldn’t have made it this far without you."

Bill waved off your words with a gruff, yet warm, "Just keep your head down and don’t do anything stupid. And remember, this truck’s got a lot more miles in it than that old rust bucket Joel was driving. Don’t come back knockin’ on my door for a replacement, you hear?"

Joel chuckled, the sound carrying a lightness that hadn’t been there in days. "We won’t," he assured them, though the words carried a weight of their own.

As you and Joel prepared to leave, Frank turned his attention to Joel, his eyes filled with a quiet seriousness that hadn’t been there before. He stepped forward, pulling Joel into a firm hug, the kind of embrace that spoke volumes without needing words.

"Take care of her, Joel," Frank murmured into his ear, his voice low but carrying the weight of his words. "She’s a good kid. She’s gonna need you."

Joel held onto Frank for a moment longer, his hand gripping Frank’s shoulder in silent acknowledgment. "I will," Joel replied, his voice steady and full of conviction.

Frank pulled back slightly, looking Joel in the eye with a mix of trust and understanding. Then, with a final pat on Joel’s back, he stepped away, leaving the space between them filled with the unsaid, but deeply understood, responsibility that now rested on Joel’s shoulders.

Joel walked back to the truck, you could see the subtle shift in his demeanor—stronger, more resolved. With that, the two of you climbed into the truck, ready to face the road ahead, knowing that whatever challenges awaited, you’d face them together.

As Joel drove away from Bill and Frank's place, the truck rumbled softly beneath you, its engine a steady heartbeat in the quiet of the early morning. You waved through the window, your hand lingering in the air as the two men faded into the distance, their figures shrinking until they were just specks on the horizon. The road stretched out before you, endless and inviting, bathed in the soft glow of dawn. It was like something out of a dream, a scene so perfect it felt almost surreal.

Here it was—your dream, the one you’d held onto through all the nights of despair and longing, the one that had kept you going when everything else seemed lost. Just you and Joel, no one else. He had saved you from the misery of your past, pulled you out of the darkness, and now, here you were, embarking on a new life together. A life that felt like it was finally yours to live.

As the truck moved down the road, the landscape began to shift and change, like scenes from a movie rolling by outside the window. The sun was rising higher, painting the sky in hues of gold and pink, as if God Himself had brushed the heavens with His divine hand. It felt like a sign, a message from above that this was your path, that this was where you were meant to be.  If it’s meant to be, then it will be. And it felt true, truer than anything you’d ever known.

You didn’t need anything else right now—just Joel. His presence was all the reassurance you needed, all the comfort you’d ever craved. As he drove, his right hand reached across the space between you, fingers finding yours with an ease that felt like second nature. You looked over at him, your heart swelling as you watched him—his eyes focused on the road, but his grip on your hand firm, protective. It was as if he was silently telling you, I’ve got you. As long as I’m here, you’ll be okay.

And in that moment, you believed it with everything in you. This was your sanctuary, not a place but a person. The love that pulsed between you was more than just an emotion—it was a lifeline, a tether to something bigger than the both of you, something that had been written in the stars long before you ever met.

The road ahead was uncertain, the future a vast, uncharted territory, but it didn’t scare you. With Joel by your side, you felt invincible, as if the world could throw anything at you and you’d come out the other side stronger. You didn’t need anything else—no wealth, no fame, no worldly possessions. Just Joel. He was your beginning and your end, the sun that lit up the darkest corners of your soul.

As you squeezed his hand, a silent promise passed between you. You would face whatever came together, hand in hand, heart to heart. Because if it was meant to be, then it would be. And right now, in this moment, it felt like everything in the universe had aligned to bring you here, to this place, to this man.

And as the miles melted away beneath the tires of the truck, you allowed yourself to lean back, to rest your head against the seat, knowing that for the first time in your life, you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

[mybworlds]

Blind date

Pairing: dom!Javier Peña x F!Reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: It's been a while since you had a blind date, tonight you have one. You know how these meetings end, but you can't imagine his sexual choices.

Series warnings: porn with lil plot, smut (18+ MDNI), BDSM, use of you, use of alcohol, use of spanish petnames, you character is shorter than Javi, the main character has female features, use of handcuffs, two consenting adults, dom!Javier, dom/sub dynamics, creampie, oral sex (m), fingering, masturbation (m and f), PinV protected. Blind date, be careful do not imitate!

A/N Here we go, I just came up with this idea and wrote it in just under an hour, if there are any mistakes excuse me and take this one-shot for what it is. This is my first time writing about BDSM practices so if it's not entirely accurate, I apologize.

Thanks @saradika for the divider.

You haven't had a blind date in a while. The last time was a few years ago and it was a disaster. The guy you've been chatting with for a few weeks turned out to be an horny twenty year old boy. You told him he wasn't even old enough to drink and deleted the app. You didn't want to have these surprises anymore.

But you also have needs and above all you don't want to commit to anyone.

But that's another story.

You listened to a friend and therefore downloaded that app again, but this time you are very careful who you talk to. You make it clear straight away what you want and the age of the person you want to date. Or rather, fuck. Because these dating sites are nothing more than that.

You're wearing a little black dress, pulling your hair back into a braid, a light makeup and you're ready.

Tonight you have an appointment with a certain Javier07, you sincerely hope that that number does not indicate his date of birth!

You have arranged to meet in a place in the center of the city for 9 p.m. You're a little nervous, you hope it's not another meeting where you explain to the kid on duty why he can't drink or do certain things with you!

You drink two shots of bourbon at the bar, you bite your lower lip a little nervously and look left and right. You don't know what he looks like since you talked to him, but he hasn't a profile photo.

From the way he talked he seemed like a person who knows what he's doing, he hasn't told you much about his work. In short, he was able to maintain a certain mystery about himself and that intrigues you a lot.

Every person who enters you turns around, but no one approaches you. You think he stoods you up.

It's almost midnight, you leave a note and leave.

Fuck apps, fuck dating sites, fuck Javier07 whoever you are!

You're outside the club and you're fiddling with your purse, when a car flashes at you making you turn around, you fear he's the usual idiot so you ignore him. The car flashes and then honks. You turn around, but only to tell him to fuck off and that you've already had a bad night, you come closer and are about to call him an asshole, but he's the one who interrupts you, "Starlight?

It's your nickname on the app, you're confused "Javier07?!"

"In person!" he exclaims. "I'm sorry I stood you up, but I can't risk being seen like this!"

He's still mysterious and it really intrigues you.

"Do you want to go for a ride my precious Starlight?" he gives you a crooked smile.

"It depends on what kind of ride." You reply with a grin and resuming the tone of your conversations.

He smiles back at you, "A ride that will make you scream with pleasure," he replies, "Do you have to do some more tests to see if it's me?"

You exchange another smile, then ask him, "Where are you taking me?"

"At my place, if you trust me enough." he provokes you, you get into his car, answering his question in a way.

When you arrive at his house, you realize that he doesn't spend much time there judging by the few pieces of furniture and the considerable amount of dust on the furniture.

"So, what do you do?" you ask him, looking at his face for the first time in the light. He has well-defined features, big dark eyes, a pronounced nose, a well-groomed moustache, seemingly soft lips. It could have been worse.

"Take a guess," he says sounding so mysterious.

You narrow your eyes, you've never been good at these games. Does he want to play a role-playing game?

"Um, I've never been good at these games."

He smiles sideways, becoming even sexier in your eyes, why hasn't he already taken you to bed and fucked you properly?

"I'll give you a hint," he says, dangling a pair of handcuffs from his index finger.

You cross your arms, "Am I under arrest?" you ask him, raising an eyebrow and smiling lasciviously.

He smiles back, approaching you, looking you from head to toe, "Are you a good or a bad girl, cariño?"

"Take a guess," you respond by taking a step towards him too, looking him in the eye from bottom to top.

“Did you put on this dress for me?” he asks you in a low, soothing voice.

"I promised you, you remember?" you reply, "You owe me a drink or two at least," you add in a low voice.

"Sure, nena" he says, bending down towards you and with the excuse of taking a bottle from behind you, he sticks his nose in your hair "You smell so good," he tells you, then repeats the same gesture and this time he nuzzles your exposed shoulder.

He's teasing you and you like it.

"I like you, little girl. You're not afraid." he tells you, taking a half step back to open the bottle of tequila. He pours it into two glasses and then offers it to you, "I don't normally drink it like this, but I don't have anything better." he shrugs.

"'s okay, I forgive ya." you say grabbing your glass and starting to sip your drink.

He drinks it all in one gulp, then squints his eyes for a moment and pours himself more tequila.

"This isn't your first blind date, is it?" he asks, gulping down the drink again.

You finish your drink and hold out the glass for a second round, "No. And from the way you're acting, I'd say it's not for you either, cop." you tease him biting your lower lip.

"And who told you who I am?" he asks you, putting down the glass and the bottle.

"The handcuffs, you clever guy."

He replies with a crooked smile, "I might have gotten them at a sex shop!"

Right.

"You're a smart guy. As well as provocative." you say, tilting your head to the side and leaning against the cabinet behind you. "So, do we want to do something or do we just look at each other and provoke like in chat?"

"Show me," he says in an amused tone.

"Don't be naive with me, Javier07." You say, taking off your heels and placing your feet on the cold tiles of his apartment.

"Only Javier," he says, coming closer, "and now take off your dress." He orders you in a soothing voice, sending a shock through you.

"Aren't you going to give me a kiss first?" you tease, nibbling on your lower lip with a little grin.

He comes closer to you and takes your chin between his fingers, he doesn't kiss you, he gently bites your lower lip and then licks it slowly making you close your eyes and hold your breath.

"No," he answers before stepping back and giving you the space to do his bidding.

You lift your dress over your head and slip it off, remaining in your bra and black thong. Javier scrutinizes you carefully and his gaze alone is enough to make your nipples harden.

"You look amazing," he says, placing a kiss on your neck and collarbones, then running his tongue back the other way. Your skin feels like it's on fire, “Come,” he says in a husky voice, leading you to his bedroom.

He makes you lie down on the bed before climbing on top of you and watching you surrender to his will. His eyes seem to shine in the dimly light of the room. He finally kisses you and as you had imagined his lips are soft, he devours your lips and tongue together. You find yourself moaning in his mouth before slipping his hands into his hair and that's when he stops.

"Don't." he says an inch from your lips, you look at him already feeling breathless "Take off your bra and thong," you swallow looking him in the eyes for a long time as if to register his question.

"But you're still... Um... " you start to reply, absolutely perplexed by the direction the evening is taking.

"Just do it, chica." you take a deep breath and obey "Very good," he adds enunciating the two words well and making your skin crawl "You are beautiful, now don't move." he says again and this time he takes your hands carrying them behind your back and caging them in the handcuffs.

He leans down towards you and that's when he kisses you again, he sprinkles kisses and little bites on your neck that makes you moan with pleasure, his fingers pinch and tease your nipples gently, but firmly making you squirm beneath him and eager for more.

He lifts himself completely off of you and you look at him puzzled, "On your belly," he orders and you obey again.

He grabs you by the handcuffs, holding your hands slightly higher, then hits one of your buttocks hard, once, twice, three times, then moves on to the other. Even though it hurts, you like it.

First he hits and then he caresses your skin, then he stops.

You are not used to this kind of practices, usually you are used to a relationship where you have an active role, not as a submissive like this. However, it is not so bad.

Your thoughts are interrupted when you feel his fingertip caressing the entrance to your intimacy with circular movements. You gasp, turning to the side your head, "Fuck," you groan feeling your vision blur.

You let out a little cry of excitement when you feel his finger enter you and get wet with your moisture, "You're so hot. So tight. And all for me." he continues with that slow exhausting movement that takes you further and further towards the abyss. You bite your lip repeatedly and moan without restraint.

"My turn," he says interrupting that sweet torture and helping you lie on your back and then sitting on your knees, you see him take off his black shirt with calculated slowness so you have the time and opportunity to appreciate his toned, but not pumped-up, body. He also unbuckles his belt and then takes off his pants.

Well, you don't hide the fact that you've had more than one sexual encounter and with more than one man, but he has a strange power over you, he fascinates you and instills a certain fear in you all at the same time.

He releases his cock which turns out to be quite huge, you look at him with your lips parted and your eyes almost wide open. It's beautiful, thick and you can't wait to run your tongue over his pink bulbous tip.

"I know you can't wait to choke on my cock." He says and it's true, you look at him with pleading eyes before biting your lower lip, "I knew it, mi pequeña pícara!" then he pulls you forward slightly so that you can lean further forward towards his shaft.

You open your mouth to welcome it between your lips, but it's huge so you have to open your lips even more. Welcoming his cock between your lips is an experience as erotic as satisfying, his sighs then together with his curses make you wet even more, his tense face and closed eyes make you take it all the way down your throat moaning and groaning with pleasure.

You see him almost do violence to himself as he withdraws from your welcoming throat and mouth, you see it from his clenched teeth and his eyes that have become narrow and even darker. His shaft comes out glossy of your saliva, he needs a few moments to regain full control of the situation, you could take advantage of it, but you have understood that he likes to command in the bedroom and once in a while you're okay with it.

You're face down again when he slips on a condom and submerges himself completely between your warm, wet folds. You open your mouth in a frantic search for air, and he immediately pumps himself in and out of you at great speed. His curses and your grunts are getting louder and louder, you don't care to contain yourself, the pleasure you're feeling is immense, you feel your insides almost contracting from the burning pleasure, your vision becomes increasingly blurry as your orgasm approaches.

One of his hands grabs your braid pulling you slightly back towards him, while with the other he opens your legs a little more before placing it on your side and start pumping again.

“Oh, fuck . . . I'm about to come, I'm about to come,” you squeal, squeezing your eyes shut, then your climax explodes loudly.

Your orgasm lasts a few more moments as he continues to push himself into you, then with an animalistic sound he comes too.

He slowly releases his grip on your hip and he takes off your handcuffs placing his palms on either side of your face for support himself and recover from the intercourse, his nose is buried in your hair inhaling your scent.

“It was an amazin' blind date and a great ride,” he says breathlessly.

You smile, "Yeah, it was. Would you like another one?"

[bumblee-stumblee]

I am one of those 'kids who can't consent'. I can consent. But because of radfems allying with the conservative right, you are forcing me through irreparable changes. Every day I wake up and my body is more and more disgusting. But, because of you, I keep getting gaslit by GPs that I'm not trans, that I will learn to love my body, when the reality is it's wrong. Radfems do want to kill trans people, and they want kids to stay sexually available to them. I've lost count of the amount of lesbians telling me that I shouldn't "mutilate" my body because they lose out on another butch. You're disgusting and why I may be attracted to girls but will never date them.

Killing trans people is your end goal and that's why people think you're evil. 56% increase in hate crimes in the UK, thanks for that.

No, actually, you can't consent and if you don't understand the dangerous precedent this sets (for full grown adults with agendas to tell you can consent,) I'll explain it to you.

Within the trans community there's an idea that the sooner you can get a kid to transition, socially or medically, the sooner this can be seen as normal. The normalization of transitioning children is important, it pushes the idea that they could be born in the wrong body and normalizes the idea that a child knows what is medically best for them.

Child predators will try to find a way to have access to children by any means, now imagine how much easier it would be for them to have access to vulnerable children if they just claim to understand and support their gender identity issues.

The idea that children can consent would mean parents have no right over their children when it comes to their health and protections. I'm not saying children shouldn't speak up for themselves but we need to acknowledge that many children can be coached or groomed into saying or thinking things that may not benefit them or their safety.

The people that would love it for the law to 'recognize' that kids can consent doesn't stop at transgender rights advocates. It extends to pedophiles/child molesters that would love to get off the sex registry(something Jacob Breslow thinks it shouldn't exist to begin with) & pedophiles in position of power; informing and creating guidelines regarding childrens health & gender identity issues/transgenderism.

Pedophile sympathizer Jacob Breslow advocates for the rights of pedophiles, he thinks people are too mean to them. He thinks minors can consent too.

In his book Ambivalent Childhoods, Chapter 3 Desiring the Child: Queerness, Motherhood, and the Analyst, he writes:

[a description of a 12-year-old child dancing and mimicking sex acts to a crowd of adults.]

“As his movements transition from those that mimic break-dancers to those that mimic sex acts, repeating the easily citational gesticulations of pelvic thrusts … I find myself caught up in exhilarating waves of memory, identification, and desire … a desire for him himself,”

Why am I talking about Jacob Breslow? You should know him right? He was a Mermaids charity trustee until all of this came out, the pedophile sympathizing and all that.

Breslow also cited as an inspiration for his own writing Judith Levine’s 2002 book Harmful To Minors: The Perils Of Protecting Children From Sex in which she wrote that “sex is not in itself harmful to minors” and argued for the lowering of the age of consent to twelve.

He also was a guest speaker for a Pro-Pedophile B4U-ACT conference, an organization set up by a convicted child molester to destigmatize pedophiles and rebrand then as MAPs or Minor attracted person.

He's just one person tho, right? Not like there are more pedophile sympathizers in position of power when it comes to the transgender movement-

Anyways, all that to say;

Kids cannot consent because they don't have the cognitive or emotional maturity to understand long-term ramifications of such things.

>forcing irreparable changes

Going through puberty is normal. You've been convinced it's not but i promise you, you can still transition as soon as you turn 18 or whatever if that's what you want and you'll be fine.

Radfems don't align themselves with the conservative right but i can understand how you'd come to think that's what's happening when certain radfems talk on conservative platforms. I think there's a lack of understanding that they have no where else to speak on, especially when leftist first action is to label them as terfs and often don't give them the opportunity to have a conversation lest they be cancelled for even giving them the time of day.

Your body isn't disgusting. I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm sorry there are certain people that have convinced you to hate your body. I won't tell you you can learn to love yourself, it's taken me decades to learn to love myself and stop hating myself so much for things that happened to me that were out of my control and made me resent being a woman. Learning about radical feminism has definitely helped. I hope you can find something that will help you you as well that won't cause irreversible damage.

Radfems don't want to kill transpeople, I've already explained this in a different ask. Radfems don't want kids to be sexually available to them either, that's disgusting.

Hey, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot, including internalized homophobia, maybe some trauma. I truly hope you get an actual therapist that can listen and validate your concerns. My end goal isn't to kill transpeople tho I'd definitely would like to know where you're getting that from.

[malacious-cat23]

I need to tell you something that I have been accused of. Yes, I know the allegations are serious, but you don’t know the whole story; so allow me to explain what I can and clear my name once and for all, even if you don't believe me. Basically to start, I never actually forced any minors into nsfw servers that’s simply untrue furthermore, Rose and I are both born in 06 her birthday is in December and mine in February. I don't understand why being friends is wrong. We could've been in the same class if we went to school together. I'd also like to clarify just because I dreamed about her doesn't automatically make it a sex dream. In fact immediately thinking of that could be something you should talk to somebody about as it's not healthy to immediately jump to sex.

The dream she shared made me uncomfortable even though I was 18 I wasn’t very comfortable with what she was sharing. I didn’t like it that much because I’m ace and don’t really have any sexual attraction at all normally I wouldn’t mind but I just don’t like her and I never stepped forward to block contact with her like I should’ve done from the start, I am also not roleplaying with any kids and because I haven’t seen any proof I will adress that when I do see it but I will not be acting on this any further after today.

Next using narcissist like an insult is just gross just because I like kou doesn’t make me a narcissist as well this is also known as mischaracterizing which I also find disgusting, narcissistis actually struggle trying to do better for themselves so using it as a insult is very petty and immature.

And as for forcing minors into nsfw servers, after asking star and her saying no I backed off, never asked any other soul about it again I gave up on it because I didn’t need it plus I got banned for a reason, so why do I need to force people to do my bidding why should anyone do that? For petty revenge? How childish. Another thing, after posting this post I will not be joining any more 18+ servers for at least 3 months hoping that is long enough for this drama to subside if not I will address the issues later bc you know what drama causes? Gossip and you know what gossip does? It hurts everyone involved and I deeply apologize to all adults and minors for getting roped into this gossip and putting a mental toll on the body.

I will be leaving this situation once again after clearing my name but I am saying this because I care about people’s safety as a whole not just minors but a minors mental health and emotional wellbeing is Somthing everyone must consider

I also apologized to the kid who was joking and lying about her age which I do have proof of them stating that and I am sorry for saying what I said on YouTube, but with what alls going around I don’t know if most of my subs are bots or not so forgive me if I overreacted a tad too much

Another thing to mention is that roping people into this is wrong and I understand that I can’t take back what I said but I hope that all of this proves a mood point thank you for your time and goodbye for I am leaving this drama behind me once and for all

I hope this clears my name though because this is all getting old but I will say this much it after I post this and she still doesn’t stop then I will step forward and do something about it but until then everyone have a good day

@bubblespalace @diacripticcomplex @elidoesart @cryptid-pet @elvie16 @agustdeeznuts-7 @dialovers-lover-xoxo

@devil-spire - you don’t have to reblog this if you do not want to as I won’t make you do that but I’m happy that I have my friend back, furthermore I can send u my new blog soon that I made not too long ago that ima bout to follow everyone that I trust on it including you so yeah, take care, - anon

anyone else who will reblog this please do but with this I am clearing my name and anything else that has to come up I will address it then

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

You have other requests and I understand, but, first of all, lemme give you a hug ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

Second of all, since my birthday is today...So uh, Kazutora with an s/o who is stoic, has eyebags, is poor, is a year older than him (also goes to a different school and is part of another gang, a high command(?) )

S/O was also sexually abused (if this part makes you uncomfortable you can skip it)

S/O also ended up in jail, 10 years, just like Kazutora himself (its just Kazutora went first and a month later, s/o did)

S/O is someone blunt, has a grounded self despite her issues, she knows how to keep things in order ~s/o is often saving Kazutora from killing himself from doing stupidities~

(If you need height, s/o is 1.50 and if you add adult timeline headcannons, you can tell they already have established relationship)

First of all, happy birthday!! Secondly, thank you so much for requesting! Thirdly, HUGG<3

A newly formed gang, Valhala, definitely would need a support from other gang before they would pull themselves up. So Valhala and your gang formed a deal and that's when you met Kazutora Hanemiya.

When he first looked at you, he immediately thought that you weren't mentally stable. Eyebags, bit skinny, poor hygiene and etc.

Because of the deal, you both had to get closer but I guess it turned into more than a deal.

Kazutora became part of your daily routine and a person you trusted the most. He became someone you relied on and before you knew it, this turned into romantic feelings.

Kazutora would always walk you to home, school, shops and literally anywhere you were going to.

He was always jealous type tho. He disliked every single one of your guy friends and always would whisk you away from them.

Kazutora offered to burn cars for your birthday, he has never gotten more "wtf is wrong with you" look from you before. Then he explained that's what he did for his 11th birthday.

Whereas you enjoy breaking people's bones more, Kazutora enjoys peeling people's nails off.

Kazutora would call you "pretty" "beautiful" "gorgeous" as petnames not gonna lie.

The relationship between you two tho...Let's say it's the true definition of toxic relationship. Since both of you are unstable, it's just very hard to offer each other comfort. The lack of communication also messes it up, and Kazutora's trust issues and fear of abandonment doesn't help either.

You aren't comfortable with intimacy at all because of the past experiences and trauma. Kazutora is pretty understanding about that. Not like he wants intimacy that early as well.

But when he found out the bigger reason of why you hated intimacy so much, he found your r*pist's address, peeled his nails off, broke his bones and beat him up to death. He came to your house with biggest and proudest smile.

___

Kazutora: What about this. I'll take you to camping for a date. Us sharing fun stories while the fire provides warmth for us.

You: What about you to burn me instead and provide yourself with warmth?

Kazutora: Your kinks are getting out of hand,gorgeous...

___

You two pretty much served so much cunt that you ended up in jail for 10 years...Now that's where you really had to stop Kazutora from ending his own life.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I'm sorry if it's not to your liking! I'm writing this while walking in the forest w my family so, this seriously might not be good😭

Happy birthday, again!

[lookismaddict]

Lookism: Rendezvous 🔞 (Ch. VII) || Gun Park x Fem! Reader ♡

Author’s Note: All I’d like to say is, thank you for the ongoing support for Rendezvous!! I was going to keep this story short because I believed that not too many people would read it, but I didn’t know that there would be more than I expected so tysm!!! 🥹💞 And I’m sorry this took me a long time to write this chapter!!! I mentioned this in one of my Q&A’s, but I accidentally sprained my dominant arm so it was a bit hard for me to even lift my arm for a few days, but I still tried to finish the chapter as much as I can. I mentioned before that I plan on creating another story for another Lookism character as well, but not sure if I should work on it now or after Rendezvous. I will post my story ideas soon, so I hope you look forward to them! I’m open to your thoughts about them, so feel free to leave a comment about them once I post my story ideas. But for now, I hope you enjoy this chapter with a bit of some wholesomeness!! 🖤 (Also, I was inspired by some things while writing this chapter, so you might catch some stuff that might be a bit familiar.)

NSFW Warning: Violence, strong language/cursing, sexual words, and light sexual content (teasing).

Story Summary: You traveled abroad to help support your mother who is sick, back home in Japan. However, once you reached Korea, everything went downhill until you met a stranger who offered you a deal that could benefit you. But who knew that this special encounter would turn your whole life around…

The dark sky reigned down onto the city lights of Seoul, as the full moon illuminated above. The screeches and honks of cars can be heard from a nearby freeway in the city that would drive any person mad with frustration. This became the usual time of when Korean adults were released off of work, which would explain why there was already traffic in the freeway at this hour. It was already dark outside and it was seven in the evening, as you were still trying to find your way back to the marketplace. You were wandering around a street near the exit of a freeway, hoping that the answer to your problems would be solved. The street that you were walking through were dim and lacked proper lighting. The street lights barely hung onto what little power left they had in their light bulbs, as you cautiously walked through the darkness that was starting to cave in around you. Including the buildings, all of them were dark without any signs of life within them. While going around in circles through the streets, you still couldn’t find your way back on your own. All you could do was blame that phone snatcher who had led you astray from where you were supposed to be, so you cursed at him from under your breath.

That asshole brought me to some part of Seoul that I’m not even familiar with and now, I’m all by myself with no sense of direction of where I’m actually going. Geez, I can’t even see anything either! This place is as dark as my home back in Japan when it runs out of power! And I can’t even contact Gun because of my broken phone. Plus, even if I ask someone out here if I could borrow their phone, I still can’t even contact him since I didn’t memorize his phone number! Ugh (Y/N), talk about useless!!!

As you changed your sense of direction to the opposite street this time, you felt that your feet were already sore from walking for almost the whole entire day. Your hands became blistered due to the long hours of holding onto your grocery bags. You felt your stomach grumble in hunger, dying to at least get food into your system to regain energy. Your eyes were getting droopy from how tired you were from all of the lost energy that you’ve burned throughout the day. But with the determination that you still had left inside you, you still kept pushing yourself to keep going.

God, please, give me a sign…

From far away, you spotted a small lit building in the distance. If “head towards the light” was a true saying, then you were sure of it that heaven was actually real, for only that moment.

Who knew my prayers have been heard so quickly! Thanks Big Man.

You began to sprint towards that bright building, as your eyes can now make out what the sign said.

“7-11. Ah, great. How convenient.” you said sarcastically while entering the building.

Already, you were greeted by a sea of snacks and prepared meals. While your stomach growled in response to the sight of food in front of you, you decided to feast on whatever good thing that you could find.

A Korean dosirak (bento box), a pack of kimchi, a tuna kimbap, and a cute little bottle of banana milk was all it took for you to consider it all a feast. Once you’ve paid for all of the food that you’ve gathered, you took a seat inside of the convenience store, near the big front window of the store. While munching away on your dosirak, you realized how good Korean food can be, especially when you’re at the point of starvation.

Wow, this is really good! I’ve never had breaded fish like this before. Even the little rice cake that comes with it tastes good too! I wish Gun was here to try the food with me. Then again, I don’t think he’ll settle for convenience store food. He even judged me yesterday for wearing clothes that looked like I was going to get food from the convenience store… Jerk.

While trying the kimchi, your face lit up in content, amazed at how Koreans developed a food that held such good pickled cabbage.

Woah, this is amazing! No wonder Koreans eat this stuff everyday. That nice little punch of spice really does kick in! Now let’s try the kimbap…

As you unwrapped the plastic from the kimbap, you went in for a big bite. Again, you could feel your brain melt from how good the food was at 7-11 even though it was just your hunger that made the food taste ten times better.

Oh. My. God. This thing is also pretty good! It even tastes like an onigiri too. How nostalgic…

All of a sudden, you remembered how your mom used to make onigiris for you, especially for school lunches. Those were the best onigiris that you’ve ever tasted in your life. Not even the 7-11 kimbap could beat your mom’s homemade onigiris.

Hm… just thinking about Mom makes me miss her so much. I wonder how she’s doing? I should try and call- oh wait, woops. Haha, I don’t have a working phone on me right now. Great. Just great.

You whined to yourself as you slammed your head onto the table in frustration. While still laying your head on the table, you wondered where Gun could be right now, and what he was up to. You couldn’t help but think about him at this time of need. Remembering those times of when the both of you would argue over the littlest of things, when the two of you would act cheeky with each other, and those warm moments of just being comfortable with each other’s personality made you feel a sense of loneliness inside of you. Even the thought of him being at work right now with Crystal Choi made you feel even worse for some reason. She’s gorgeous after all and everything about her was perfect. Obviously, she was well-educated and knowledgeable about the real world, coming from her knowledge of business and economics. Not to mention, her fit body too was perfect as well. The thought of them being together felt like there was a deep hole in your heart. It pains you to even think about that at the moment. As you sat up to straighten up your posture, tears started to form in your eyes. The feeling of desperate longing for you to be with Gun became too unbearable. Your hands on your thighs balled up into fists, as you continued to sob to yourself.

“I f-feel so… so l-lonely… I-I can’t believe I’m alone in… hic- K-Korea… I m-miss him so much… please come find me… you asshole!”

Right when you shut your eyes, it was as if God had sent you one last gift. Suddenly, you heard someone call your name from a distance.

“(Y/N)!”

Are my ears playing tricks on me? Talk about timing…

“(Y/N)!!”

Oh god, make it stop!

“(Y/N)!!!”

When you heard that the voice was very close to you, your eyes quickly opened as you spun around in your chair to see the source of where that voice was coming from. And as you turned, right in front of you, was none other than Jong Gun Park. He was standing there, panting as if he just ran a marathon. His hair was all messy and his clothes were mostly wrinkled, but not dirty. Your tear-filled eyes widened as he stormed towards you.

“HEY, (Y/N)! WHY THE FUCK WEREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME WHEN I WAS CALLING YOU?! AT LEAST LEARN HOW TO PICK UP THE DAMN PHO-”

By instinct, you leapt out of your seat and ran towards him. Your arms instantly wrapped around his waist as you buried your whole face into his chest. At that moment, you were bawling your eyes out onto him, crying and sniffling as if your whole world came crashing down on you. Gun was stunned to even speak, as he looked down at you, seeing that your whole face had waterfalls leaking from your eyes. He was confused and was caught off guard by your sudden embrace yet concerned from your current state of sadness. He didn’t know what to do at that moment, since he barely knew how to even comfort someone. Hell, he doesn’t even comfort people at all! He would’ve left them to cry and die for all he cared. But with you, this felt different to him. It was a special case that he had to take care of somehow. Hesitantly, his arms started to move little by little until they managed to wrap around your body, pulling you closer into a tighter yet comforting embrace. His right hand started to brush your back gently, back and forth, while you continue to heave out in small cries. As he watched your back jolt up and down from the excessive pour of emotions coming from you, his left hand then reach around to the back of your head then held you there onto his chest as you cried, waiting for you to calm down.

In between sniffles, muffled words spewed out of your mouth as you weeped. “I-I’m sorry… I th-thought I w-wouldn’t be… a-able to s-s-see you again… my ph-pho… -one got s-stolen… then br-… oke… so I ca-… n’t call… th- en… I got l-lost…”

Gun sighed, now understanding the situation a bit better now. Inside, Gun felt relieved that nothing bad happened to you. He saw that you weren’t hurt at all in front of him, or worse… he could have found you dead. If that were to happen, he would’ve done everything to hunt down the person responsible and he would’ve inflicted so much pain onto that person until they beg him for the sweet release of death. That’s just how things usually go, in the life that he’s living in. He already fully embraced this ever since he was young, so it became the “norm” to him.

Gun thought to himself about how someone like you who’s already strong, can also be so delicate at the same time. That really did intrigue him the most at that moment.

However, while holding you in his arms, he remembered the exhausting trial he had to go through just to find you.

Earlier back at the meeting, Gun was sitting cross-legged as he had his arms crossed, trying to keep his calm from the anxious thoughts that were running through his head. He’s been sitting there for a few hours now, still waiting for a text message from you and for the final word from Charles Choi to be dismissed.

He cursed under his breath in an impatient tone. “Tch, this is ridiculous. When the hell is this meeting going to end? And how long does it take to send just a single damn text message back? How dare she make me wait like this…”

His hand reached out to his phone to open it and send a quick text message to you:

“Hey. Don’t ignore me. Answer your damn texts already.”

Gun waited for about ten minutes and there was still no reply from you. The possibility of something bad happening to you began to fill his thoughts. His head was starting to fume from the frustration of silence from your end, as his fingers dug into his biceps from when he’s still crossing his arms. He decided to send you one more message that said:

“If you don’t answer in the next five minutes, then I assume that you’re waiting for me. I’m expecting you to be there by the time I get there.”

Once Gun sent that last message, he suddenly stood up from his seat and decided to walk towards Charles Choi, DG, and Crystal. As he caught the attention of everybody in the room, their voices fell silent and their eyes were drawn to him in fixation and curiosity. Even Goo’s mouth was wide open when Gun suddenly got up like that. He was starting to believe that Gun had finally lost his damn mind. Gun stopped in front of them saying, “Mr. Choi, Crystal, I apologize for my abruptness, but I have to borrow your car for a bit. I swear, I’ll bring it back to you when I’m done using it.”

Charles crossed his arms and looked at Gun, emitting authority from his eyes. “Is there something wrong, Jong Gun? Why are you in a hurry all of a sudden?”

“There’s an emergency that I need to urgently take care of. I’ll have to explain later.”

Crystal let out a willing sigh as she said, “Ask the person at the front desk of the lobby to call for the driver to give you the keys to the car.”

“Alright, thank you. I’ll be taking my leave now. Please excuse me.”

As Gun rushed out of the room, Charles turned to Crystal asking her, “What’s gotten into Jong Gun recently? His attitude has changed quite a bit.”

Crystal sat there in silence, trying not to disclose Gun’s personal affairs as she already had a feeling why he was acting this way. She felt that she didn’t have a right to tell her father of what Gun has been up to, so she decided to leave that to Gun instead.

Charles eyed Crystal suspiciously for a second until he turned to DG, asking him, “Have you noticed any changes in him, DG?”

DG shook his head, dismissing the change in Gun’s behavior. He had no idea what was going on at the moment, but he had a feeling that Crystal might know the reason to Gun’s sudden change in behavior. “I have no idea sir.”

Kouji just sat in his chair, interested about the whole situation for only a split second until his attention turned back to his phone to continue his Genshin Impact gameplay. However, on the other side of the table, Goo bit the inside of his cheek anxiously. He was willing to stay quiet about Gun and his little affair with you, and cover Gun from the rest of the geniuses until they find out on their own.

Goo decided to send a silent text message to Gun from underneath the table as he texted:

“I’ll cover for you in any way I can while I’m still here. Don’t get it mixed up. This is for dropping me off that one night. 🤧 You better remember to pay me back, you pervert!! 🙄”

. . .

Down the streets of Seoul was a Lincoln Navigator going about eighty miles per hour. Gun didn’t care if he was speeding. He just wanted to see if you were really alright. Also to confirm if you really did see his texts and if you were listening to him. But the thought of something bad happening to you crossed his mind repeatedly, which caused him to step on the gas pedal.

Simultaneously, he reached over to his phone and pressed the “Call” button under your name. As he anxiously waited for you to pick up the phone, the call rung a few times until the phone answer system led to a voice that said, “The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later.” His left hand clenched tighter against the wheel while his other hand tapped on the “Call” button once again.

“Pick up the damn phone, (Y/N)…”

“The person you are trying to reach is unava-”

Gun ended the call then slammed his phone next to his ash tray in frustration. When the Lincoln Navigator pulled up into the exact same spot where he dropped you off with Crystal, Gun’s eyes roamed through the overwhelming sea of people but his eyes could not detect where you were.

“Tch. Where the hell could she have gone?”

He continued driving onwards down the street while carefully scanning the bustling crowds of people. Every crevice and every straight of each sidewalk that he looked at, his eyes still couldn’t spot where you were at. Finally, Gun made it to the end of the street, where the big supermarket stood with all of its commercial greatness.

Gun did not waste a second as he decided to park out in front of the market, to look inside the huge store. When he rushed through the automatic doors, he stood there at the front of the store as his eyes looked around actively until he decided to turn to his right. His feet sped down the line of small shops until someone called out to him from behind.

“Young man! What are you in a rush for?”

Gun turned around to see an old man standing there in front of him from a few feet away. He approached him then asked the man directly, “Have you seen a woman who was wearing a black turtleneck shirt, and gray joggers by any chance?”

“A black turtleneck shirt and gray joggers? Oh! You must be talking about that girl, (Y/N) Sasaki! Ah yes, she was my valued customer today.”

“‘Valued customer’?” Gun had a stern demeanor on, despite his confusion.

The old man waved his hand in an aloof way saying, “Oh never mind that young man, but yes I have seen her.”

“When did you last see her?”

“That was earlier, this afternoon. I believe she said that she was going to a doctor’s clinic down the street.”

“I see.”

When Gun was about to leave the old man, the old man suddenly asked, “Are you by any chance Ms. Sasaki’s ‘friend’ that she mentioned?”

Gun stopped at his tracks before turning his attention towards the senior citizen once more and asked him in an indifferent tone. “‘Friend’? What do you mean by that?”

The old man ignored him as he continued on saying, “Ah yes, you must be him! Well son, when you find her, you should talk to her directly about how you FEEL. You don’t want to lose someone as special as her just to be apart from you and to have her left astray!”

Gun gave him a cold look before saying, “I don’t know what you’re on about old man, but I don’t have time for your nonsensical words right now.”

Gun finally left the elderly man, walking away from the stranger while making his way past the automatic doors of the supermarket. Standing there, the old man watched Gun from behind as he left. The elder said to himself, “Ah, youth. So impalpable with their own feelings. If you keep being dishonest with yourself, young man, you’ll soon realize how much that certain someone actually means to you when you cannot find her anymore.”

. . .

When the Lincoln Navigator made its way into the parking spot in front of Ahn’s Doctor Clinic, Gun gave no further hesitation as he locked the car behind him before entering the clinic in an intimidating fashion.

Once his eyes met with the relaxed doctor’s assistant at the front counter, the doctor’s assistant gulped in nervousness as she recognized Dr. Ahn’s “frequent” patient.

“Where’s Dr. Ahn?”

“A-ah, Mr. Park… glad to see you again. Do you have any business with Dr. Ahn today?”

“No, I’m just here to talk to her only for a brief moment. It’s urgent.”

“Oh, well… I’m sorry Mr. Park but I cannot let you in without the purpose of an appoint-”

That wasn’t going to stop Gun from barging further into Dr. Ahn’s clinic. While passing every unnecessary room around him, Dr. Ahn’s assistant chased Gun down the hallway, desperately scurrying after him like a little mouse.

“Mr. Park, please wait! You’re not supposed to be here right now!!!”

Finally, he made it to a door at the end of the hallway that had a gold plaque that read “Dr. Na Ri Ahn’s Office” next to the door. With sharp quickness, he grabbed onto the door knob to open the door immediately. When the door flung wide open from Gun’s abrupt entrance, his eyes immediately locked onto Dr. Ahn, who was busy organizing medical records of her patients on her desk. When she looked up from behind her papers to see who it was, she sighed in exhaustion at the sight of Gun Park standing before her, assuming that she had more work added to her list of problems. As she set her papers down, she asked in a dry tone, “Are you here for another check-up? You know, you REALLY need to stop getting into dangerous-”

“Where’s (Y/N)?”

Dr. Ahn blinked in confusion. “What? What do you mean?”

“Have you seen her today or not?”

“Well yes, I have. But the last time I saw her was a few hours ago when she came here for the prescription.”

“If she shows up here, call me immediately.”

“Wait, Mr. Park-”

Once Gun was finished talking, he turned around to leave as quickly as possible. Dr. Ahn’s assistant did not hesitate to briskly move out of the way, as she was blocking the door behind Gun when she caught up to him.

Dr. Ahn and her assistant watched as Gun speed-walked down the hallway as if there’s no tomorrow. When Dr. Ahn’s assistant turned back to her, she apologized to her by bowing as she said, “I’m so sorry Doc, I couldn’t stop him…”

“It’s alright, nevermind me. From what I’m getting at here, it sounds like (Y/N) might be missing.”

“What, really?! Oh no, Doc! What should we do?! Should we call the police???”

“I don’t think the police will take this seriously if she’s been missing for only a few hours. And also, we can’t get the police involved. Knowing Mr. Park, who hates getting involved with the police…” Dr. Ahn laid her arms on her desk before resting onto them like a pillow from how tired she felt.

“So… what should we do Doc?”

“All we can do is wait and hope that she’s safe. I truly hope that she’s ok…”

. . .

When Gun returned to the car, he started it immediately then began to speed down the street after he left Dr. Ahn’s Clinic. Swerving left and right in different lanes would make anybody nervous, but Gun didn’t pay those drivers any attention at all as a bunch of thoughts started flooding into his anxious mind.

“Dammit. Where the fuck could she have gone at this time?! Why didn’t she just text me if she had somewhere else to be?! Damn that woman, making me go insane. What if something happened to her? What if those bastards at that filthy bar from before decided to go look for her, and they actually did manage to find her? I should’ve killed them all when I had the chance. Tch… She’s barely new at fighting, but she might not be able to defend herself completely. My masterpiece isn’t ready. I haven’t even taught her everything yet. But, if someone touches her, then… I’ll make sure they never see the light of day ever again.”

The pressure that his foot was putting on the gas pedal increased as the car accelerated through the streets of Seoul. He had no choice but to start searching around the proximity of the marketplace, and so he did.

For hours, Gun had been searching through the streets closely while keeping an eye out for you. The sky was starting to get dark, as a dark blue hue filled the night sky. At busy streets, he stopped by to check the inside of certain shops and restaurants to see if you were in there. But with no luck, you were nowhere to be seen.

Gun was starting to grow impatient, which resulted in him taking a short cigarette break outside of the car after he just checked the last restaurant at the end of a street. While lighting his cigarette against the expensive car in the cold night air, he puffed a deep smoke as he exhaled heavily, hoping to relieve some stress. From his pocket, he took out his phone to check any messages that you could have sent him when he was searching for you, but there was still none. He scrolled through the messages you sent him a few hours ago while reminiscing that soft smile of yours. Even when he’s stressed, tired, and currently frustrated at himself, you were the one who was still on his mind. Oh, you probably had no idea how much Gun longed to see you. How much he unconsciously missed you, even though he couldn’t admit to himself through words that he did. How much he just wanted to see you again, and make sure that you were okay. And how much he wanted to touch you again, just to reassure himself that you were right there with him.

All those thoughts, however, made him rethink about last night when the two of you shared those intimate moments together. Confusion started to settle into his head, as he began to doubt his own words. Was it wrong of him to believe that you were his after that happened between you two? It made him question what he really meant by making you “his”. What if you weren’t “his” to begin with? Was it wrong that he crossed the line without even consulting you about it? After all, you didn’t go to Korea to meet Gun. You were here to make money. Nothing more, nothing less. This was all basically accidental. If Goo hadn’t found you there in that alleyway that night, then Gun wouldn’t have met you in the first place. It disgusted Gun to think that the changes that he had been experiencing in himself could be traced back to Goo. How ironic.

Although Goo was the source to his changes in thought and behavior, it was mainly you who have impacted him greatly with all of that. By taking you as his trainee, Gun didn’t expect it at all that he had actually risked himself being exposed to you. He had to risk it all just so he can take down the four major crews. Consequently, he didn’t think that he’d have to actually deal with someone who would cause him to go out of his way just for that person. From the beginning, he thought it’d be the other way around since he believed that he had the upper hand to begin with. Thinking that he’d use that person for his own benefit was originally the plan. Not in this case though. He’s been risking it all just for you, and he didn’t want to admit that you were making him weaker than his usual self.

While thinking about how you were influencing him, the memory of that old man from earlier at the supermarket appeared in his head. His words seemed to have struck Gun’s head as they kept repeating in his mind over and over again. What did that old guy meant by telling you how he “felt”? Felt about what? About how bothersome he felt about you, always being the cause to how tired he was most of the time? What did you even tell that old guy in the first place for him to lecture him like that? Gun thought that you better not have ran your mouth about what the both of you have been doing within the walls of his own house, especially the purpose of you being trained by him…

Gun remained to be lost in thought about the situation until he caught movement from the corner of his eye. From far away, he turned his head to see a man in a dirty hoodie limping out from an alleyway. Blood splatters were covering some parts of his body though, which interested Gun for a minute. He decided to investigate for the meantime, thinking that the man might have seen something that could possibly be related to you.

After extinguishing his cigarette on the ground with his foot, he checked to see if there were any other people outside in the street before he strolled towards the guy from behind him. Gun then reached his hand out to catch the guy by the hood of his sweatshirt. Right when he got a mean grasp onto the guy’s hoodie, he pulled him backwards which made the guy fall back onto the cemented sidewalk. As the guy’s whole entire back hit the pavement, the guy yelled out in a pained groan. “What the fuck?!”

The guy’s eyes met with Gun’s gaze as Gun lingered over the guy’s weak body. “Let’s have a small chat, shall we?” Gun forcefully grabbed onto the man’s hoodie, as he started to drag him back into the alleyway where no one else could see them in the darkness. Meanwhile, the guy was being choked by the neck due to Gun tugging onto his hoodie, restricting the airway of oxygen going into the man’s lungs. While dragging the man by the neck like a poor impala who got caught by the throat from a predator’s mouth, Gun looked at his surroundings down the dark alleyway until an enormous crack in the wall to his left had caught his attention. He eyed the stains of running blood on the wall, which now looked smeared with rusty brown splats from how long ago that occurred. Eventually, he shoved the guy onto the spot of where the big crack stood, releasing the man as he coughed from the lack of air. The dirty hoodie man looked up into Gun’s eyes as he said, “Who the hell do you think you are, you crazy bastard?!”

Gun cracked his knuckles, preparing himself for the man’s predetermined interrogation session before informing him, “I’m an impatient man, so I’ll get straight to the point. Have you seen a woman who was wearing a black turtle-neck sweater and gray joggers?”

The guy had a confused look in his face until he remembered the image of you from earlier, in his head. “What? You know that bitch?”

Once Gun heard that vulgar word come out from his mouth, he immediately pulled onto the guy’s hoodie strings right below his neck as he socked him hard onto his face, landing a damaging blow. The guy screamed in agonizing pain, as some of his teeth fell onto the cement with a few skids of mineral against mineral. Blood started to spurt from the guy’s mouth, resulting in tears to form from within the man’s eyes. “AHHHHH!!WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Well that wasn’t very nice, now was it? Calling her a ‘bitch’ wouldn’t help your case, if I were you. I was hoping that you’d come out with clean answers, but I guess I was wrong. So, tell me…”

Gun then held onto the guy by the neck this time, raising his weak body from above the ground, watching him struggle to breathe for air. “When did you last saw her?”

“I- kuh… I last saw h-her… w-with a g-guy…”

Gun’s grasp automatically tightened around the guy’s neck, as Gun’s eyes were starting to glare at him in a threatening way from beneath his glasses. “What ‘guy’ are you talking about?”

The man was starting to hold onto Gun’s arm for dear life, writhing in pain as his body hovered in the air through the lack of oxygen. “T-there was… a g-guy who… ugh- h-helped her g-… get her ph-phone back!”

“Was he the one who made this crack on the wall?”

The man couldn’t look back at the great fissure on the wall, but he knew what Gun was talking about. He nodded desperately before Gun could drop him back onto the floor, allowing him to catch his breath with pants of air that he really needed. The guy was breathing heavily, looking down at the ground while he was on his hands and knees. Gun watched the guy weakly collect himself, taking another cigarette from his pocket then lit it with his lighter once more, lighting the dark alleyway with what little light he had from his lighter for only a second.

Without any warning, Gun’s foot hovered over the man’s weak figure as his foot slammed against the guy’s back, causing him to get smashed onto the pavement beneath him. Cracks from the guy’s rib cage could be heard from the intense impact, causing him to choke up blood from his lungs. His damaged lung tissues and bones had the guy paralyzed, leaving him to heave in motionless pain.

Gun still had his foot pressed against the guy’s back, as he loomed over him menacingly. “Now I know why she hasn’t been answering my texts and calls, and that’s because of your own selfishness. What a fool, trying to steal her phone…” He deepened the pressure on the man’s back, as his foot was now buried into this man’s spine. With one sturdy push of his foot, he managed to crack the guy’s spinal cord, resulting in even more pain to erupt onto his back. The hoodie guy yelled in agony, as he began to sob uncontrollably.

“P-please man… w-why are you doing this to me?!”

“‘Why’, you say…?”

Gun leaned over closely onto the guy, as his foot flattened his back out more and more, as pain began to surge throughout this man’s back from the damage that Gun had caused to his body. “It’s because of you that I can’t even find her. And you’re asking me, ‘why’? Are you dumb? You must be a stupid motherfucker too, if you couldn’t quite put the puzzle pieces together. I might as well humor myself for the time being, since this is clearly YOUR fault, right?”

Gun released his foot for only a second, allowing the guy to breathe for that one second. Gun knew that once the oxygen has seeped into this man’s lungs again, the man beneath him would feel even greater pain than when he felt pressure on his back from before. He was obviously right, as he watched the guy struggle to breathe through his bleeding lungs from the inside. By now, his chest would feel like it was lit on fire, and nothing but pain could be felt at that very moment.

Gun smirked at the guy’s pained expression from below him. “You led her astray from where she’s supposed to meet me, so this IS your fault. How does it feel to experience such pain? Such torturous agony? Lowlife scum like you who barely even work a day to even build your own success, truly disgust me. No ambition… no determination… no will… no money… I wouldn’t even bat an eye to look at your direction if I were to still choose my successor. You’re just a waste of life.”

As Gun decided to torture the man a bit further, he stomped on the stranger’s back multiple times, hard enough to feel the intense pressure whenever the man felt it on his damaged body. With each stomp to his back, came out a lowly threat from Gun who said, “If your foolishness results in something terrible to happen to her, then you better believe that your life will become a sacrifice to hers. You’ll be begging for the sweet release of death once you’ve hit the peak of true pain.”

While Gun’s foot landed on the guy’s back with a powerful thud over and over again, the man started to plead for forgiveness. “P-please… ugh! s-spare… agh! Spare me!” In between each cold hearted stomp, the dirty hoodie guy inhaled sharply in pain through gritted teeth with every bit of strength he had left to endure the torturous treatment that Gun was giving him.

“Spare you? You must be joking. Have you spared (Y/N) when you had the chance? No, you didn’t. You just decided to take her phone without even giving a second thought about whether or not she needed it the most. You’re clearly at the wrong here to begin with. I’m just here to give you what you truly deserved. And that is… to watch you suffer.”

Gun still went at it, still showing signs of no mercy. He didn’t care if the man was suffering underneath his foot at all. He just wanted to get him back for the troublesome inconvenience that he had put you through earlier. His thoughts ran wild while inflicting pain onto the man, reverting back to what the dirty hoodie guy had told him of what happened earlier. The thought of the man who was there with you earlier, who had helped you try and get your phone back, somehow made Gun pissed off even more. Gun thought that he should’ve been the one to be there for you, and not some other stranger. His absence while you were too busy dealing with your own problem made him felt like total shit. Absolutely useless. Not being able to be there for you when you needed help the most was the most shameful thing he had ever felt in his damn life. He even believed that due to your absence of texts and calls, something might have happened to you due to this man’s stupidity of leading you farther away, as he shouldn’t have messed with the wrong person. The wrong woman, in particular. Gun imposed him with one last question, as he asked, “Where did you see her head off to?”

As blood started to spill from within this man’s mouth, Gun listened to the man’s croaked voice from his throat as he continued to cough up even more blood onto the cold ground. The poor guy gave one last attempt at saving himself as he said, “I-I don’t know! I d-didn’t… s-s-see where she g-gone off to… I was u-unconscious! I-I’m… sorry… for stealing your f-friend’s phone… I s-swear, I won’t d-do it a-again…”

Gun’s eyes narrowed in an irritated way. Annoyed by the man’s meaningless apology, his foot took in one last thought, ready to strike one last imposing blow to his back. When he sent his foot flying towards his back, all of a sudden, his foot suddenly stopped just an inch above the hoodie guy’s back. Instantaneously, his mind backtracked to how you’d react if you caught him beating up a poor defenseless person like that. You could possibly appear out of nowhere into the alleyway at any moment. The thought of you being disappointed in him even more caused him to pull his own foot back, finally showing a sign of mercy.

While the man laid there on the ground, panting through deep heavy sighs of injury, Gun stepped back before clicking his own tongue in frustration. “Tsk… bastard. Consider yourself lucky this time. If I ever catch you again in the streets at any given time, you’d best believe that you’ll be dying by my own hands.”

With that final warning, Gun released a puff of smoke from in between his fingers, pulling back his cigarette from his mouth before throwing it to the ground. He didn’t bother to snuff his cig out completely, as he walked away from the man leaving him to struggle in pain from within the darkness.

When Gun returned to the expensive automobile, he started the car then drove off as he continued his search for you. Now that he knows that you’ve gotten this far away from the marketplace, he is aware of where he should go. The Lincoln Navigator commuted down the streets of Seoul, straying further and further away from the marketplace.

The area that Gun was driving past was beginning to turn into a secluded area, away from the hustle and bustle of the busier streets in the city. Lights glowing in this area were much dimmer than the typical bright street lights seen around the city. Barely any lights were on in some of the buildings that he drove through. Close to the area, Gun could now hear the honking of cars since there’s a nearby freeway where he’s at. He realized that it was rush hour, when cars started to flood the freeway because of the many releases off from work.

“Damn. I can’t go through there right now since everybody’s out. I might as well stick to the streets for now.”

Little by little, the amount of working street lights lessened as he drove deeper into the streets until the car’s headlights were the only source of lights that was guiding Gun down the pitch black path. When he made a sharp turn at the corner of a street, he was then greeted with a light at the end of that street. It was as if he found a very noticeable glint of treasure.

Fascinated by the source of light, Gun drove slowly towards the light. Call it anticlimactic, but this better be worth looking through, he thought. When the tinted car rolled up to where the light shined, a clear view of a building with lit windows from inside it was now in focus. Under Gun’s vision, his eyes looked up as the sign of the building that said, “7-11” on it.

“Just great. A dead end…”

Or so he thought.

When his eyes trailed towards the big windows of the convenience store, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

There you stood, walking towards the window of the convenience store, as you sat down with a bunch of food in your arms, along with a big bag of your groceries. Gun halted the car, about ten meters away from the window. Somehow, you didn’t notice the Lincoln Navigator parked in front of the store, as you continued to unpack the food that you just bought.

When Gun parked the car right in front of the building, his eyes scanned your face and your entire body to see if you were actually alright. Luckily, it looked like you were fine from far away. Gun’s grip on the wheel loosened, as he leaned onto the wheel to rest his head. With a heavy sigh, he can now relax knowing that you’ve been okay all this time. His head looked up, watching you eat from the window with that eager look in your eyes and that delightful smile of yours that he had missed to see, all day. He chuckled at your cheerful expressions, while watching you devour your meal in excitement. As he watched you intently from inside the car, he rested his chin on his crossed arms that laid on top of the steering wheel.

“Look at her all happy and shit, while I’ve been suffering for hours because of her. Ah, what am I going to do with you, (Y/N)? You handful of a woman…”

While watching you, his mind suddenly wandered off, remembering the frustration of how he’s supposed to feel at that very moment. He’s relieved to see that you were okay, but he should be annoyed. He should be angry that you didn’t pick up his calls even when you got your phone back, so why…? The thought of you ignoring him suddenly made his blood boil.

“That’s it.”

He unfastened his seatbelt before getting out of the car with a slam of the door behind his back. From outside the front door of the 7-11 store, he ran towards the door as he called your name over and over again. Once he set foot inside of the store, he called out to you for one final time.

“(Y/N)!!!”

Gun ran in there, panting softly. He didn’t care if he looked like a mess in front of you. Both his hair and his clothes weren’t presentable at the moment, but he didn’t care at all. His mind was clouded with rage as he rushed towards you with a fuming look on his face. He was bearing his teeth like a wild wolf, ready to pounce on his prey. His fists were clenched, as if he were ready to give you a piece of his mind.

“HEY, (Y/N)! WHY THE FUCK WEREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME WHEN I WAS CALLING YOU?! AT LEAST LEARN HOW TO PICK UP THE DAMN PHO-”

At that time, Gun wasn’t aware of how you weren’t in the best of moods to argue with him at the moment. Instead, when he saw your face, he saw tears in your eyes. As you quickly rushed towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist in a tight embrace, Gun was absolutely stunned. For a few seconds, his face remained shocked at what was currently happening. He was at a loss of words. It was obvious, that he lost this fight right from the very beginning. He was defenseless, unable to defend himself from your soft sniffles and your heavy cries as he watched tears stream down your face.

Gun was clueless in the expertise of comfort, since he didn’t have to look after someone before. Except for Crystal Choi, but that was a different scenario. In this situation, he didn’t know how to look after someone who was feeling down. Someone who was clearly spilling all her emotions out, unable to control herself like a big tsunami that couldn’t be blocked by some sort of wall. If that were the case, all Gun needed to do was just support any infrastructure as best as he could.

The smartest way to deal with this, was to take it easy and to move as slow as possible. Gun decided to hug you in return, as one of his hands reached your back from behind as he gently placed his hand on your back, moving his hand in a slow rhythm that goes up and down, unsure if he was actually doing it right. Alright, here comes the next step. While still caressing your back softly, his other hand reached over to the back of your head to hold you in place, allowing you to further bury your head deep into his chest as a sign of comfort. Will this be enough for you? Who knows. Gun didn’t know what he was doing. All he could hope for was for you to stop crying.

While your sinuses were starting to get clogged from the excessive sobbing as you said to him, “I-I’m sorry… I th-thought I w-wouldn’t be… a-able to s-s-see you again… my ph-pho… -one got s-stolen… then br-… oke… so I ca-… n’t call… th- en… I got l-lost…”

At least Gun was smart enough to understand the babble of words that came from your mouth. He now understood the situation a lot better now, which explained why you weren’t able to answer any of his texts or calls. After all that, he was just alleviated from the worry that he had gone through. At least you were right in front of him, safe in his arms right now. If something bad WERE to happen to you, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. His inner self would be drowned in a violent frenzy, that no one would be able to stop him from hunting down the person who would inflict any pain or harm towards you. If the worst case scenario of death were to happen, he wouldn’t show any mercy whatsoever. He’d just go full on, bloodlust mode. Who would need mercy, if they were the one to take you away from him permanently? But damn that hooded bastard, he’ll definitely get it from Gun if he ever saw him again. The amount of hassle and inconvenience that both you and Gun had to go through because of that man’s foul actions made Gun seethe in pure rage. However, his anger died down quickly, as he remembered that you were currently right there in front of him, still crying your heart out.

While still trying to “comfort” you, Gun still held you in his arms, wondering how someone like you could have it both ways. You were ferocious like a feline cat when you needed to be. But at the same time, you can be as delicate and dainty as a flower. Gun couldn’t tell if it was a “feminine” thing that women had to deal with, or if it was just you in particular who had to endure such things. Don’t women get mood swings? He thought that their attitudes would change out of nowhere very frequently, but it was a first to see you act so… “normal”, being a woman. He thought you were a special case, but he didn’t once think that you’d be capable of ever crying in front of him like this.

Gun was still clueless as ever and remained unsure of what to do next, as he thought of a next step to try and make you feel better. This had to be the use of “comfort” words. While still maintaining his gentle rubs on your back and his firm grasp around you, he said in a soft tone, “Everything’s fine. You don’t have to cry anymore…” He repeated this process over and over again until he could no longer count how many times he’d done it.

It took about fifteen minutes for Gun to calm you down. The two of you stood at the same spot for fifteen whole minutes, as Gun kept comforting you until your sobs died down. While doing so, some people who have entered the 7-11 looked at you two in confusion and concern as they walked passed both of you in the store, mostly thinking that you just got dumped or something. One instance of this occurring, happened to be an old man who came to buy a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. As the old man entered the store, he was startled to see the both of you blocking his way to the cashier, who unknowingly was just staring at you and Gun hugging each other from behind the cash register, like you were in some sort of K-drama. When the old man awkwardly passed the two of you with a small cough while saying “excuse me”, he walked a few feet away towards the cashier before grumbling to himself, “Youngsters these days, don’t got any shame. How can they just cause a scene out in public like that? Good grief…”

Even though Gun caught the old man’s words even from a few feet away, he didn’t care about what he had to say. His words were irrelevant to him. Just noise from an old grumpy elder who probably didn’t know how to comfort his own woman. Speaking of comforting women, Gun looked down to see if you were still crying, but to his surprise, you were starting to calm down like he had hoped for. As you began to pull your face away from his chest, you wiped your face with the back of your sleeve, trying to dry your tears out the faster way. Gun patted your back a few times as he said, “(Y/N), we should go now. Come on, I’ll carry the groceries you got back to the car.” While still cleaning up your face with the back of your sleeve, you nodded from behind your sleeve as you both slowly released yourselves from each other’s grasp.

You returned back to the spot where you left your trash, your bagged groceries, and your unopened banana milk at the table from behind the big 7-11 window. From behind, Gun followed you as he reached over to the big grocery bag from one of the seats next to yours, to carry it in his left hand. After throwing away all of the leftover trash from the spot that you sat at, you made sure that Old Reliable was still on you and your banana milk was with you, then followed Gun out the door of the convenience store without saying a single word.

Once he had unlocked all of the doors to the Lincoln Navigator, you simply got in the seat next to Gun’s. You waited for him in silence as you watched him from the sideview mirror to load the grocery bag into the back trunk of the car. From behind the car, Gun looked into the bag before placing the grocery bag and all of its contents down into the trunk. However, when he peeked inside the bag, his facial expression changed in an instant from pure shock to regretful disbelief, as he saw that the pack of eggs that you’ve bought from earlier were all cracked. The yolk from the eggs painted the rest of the food all in yellow, leaving the bag’s contents to bathe in its stickiness.

Gun facepalmed himself as he gave an aggravated sigh. He was already tired from everything that had happened today, and now he had to deal with this mess.

“Dammit. If only she hadn’t- You know what? I’m not dealing with this shit right now. I don’t want her to end up crying again, or else that’s just going to be another issue added to another…” He told himself, before setting the bag down into the trunk before slamming the trunk door shut. When he went around the car to go back to the driver’s seat, he went into the tinted ride then shut the door behind him. While starting the car, he noticed how you were still quiet. Just having you sit there all quiet made him feel weird, so he encouraged you by saying, “Hey. Why are you still quiet over there? Just… act like how you normally would. I don’t want to have to see you cry again. So just… cheer up already…”

Your head turned towards Gun as his eyes were now focused on the road in front of him, driving down the street to turn at a dimmed street to go back to the ordinary streets of Seoul. You didn’t realize how uncomfortable you made him, as you were still lost in your own thoughts from a minute ago. All this time, you wondered how long has it been since someone was there to comfort you while you cried. You didn’t expect Gun to be the one to hold you in his arms, as you weeped over something so pathetic, such as loneliness. You didn’t cry at all when you were back in high school when all of the students there didn’t even bother to interact with you. Some would just turn their heads the other way, while others would pay attention to you only for the sake of entertaining themselves. But… why did you have to cry over someone, such as Jong Gun Park? It was embarrassing to even think that you’d shed tears over someone who’s stuck-up, rude, arrogant, sadistic, and perverted. Yet, why did your heart still yearn for him even when he’s not there with you? This whole idea left you feeling confused and lost. Even Mr. Nam’s words came flooding back into your head like a flash flood without warning. Mr. Nam told you that you have to confront him about how you feel at some point, but why does that idea scare you the most? Is it because you’re scared that you might get rejected by him? Is it because you think that he might not feel the same way as you did for him? Or is it because of how, if you DID tell him how you feel, then things won’t be the same between the two of you and you’d just push him away even more? Well, you already had sex with him to the point of no return, so what’s the big deal? This is basically… self sabotage. The thought of having to confess to someone about how you felt, just to fuck up your relationship with them was such a scary feeling to you. It made your stomach churn in an unsettling way.

He must be uncomfortable because of me. Now I feel bad…

You didn’t want to think about all of this any further, so you decided to try and act normally like you usually do. You gave Gun a reassuring smile, as you told him, “Don’t worry, I’m all better now. Thanks for being there for me, Gun.” Gun glanced at you for a split second as he felt himself relax at the sight of your familiar smile. The smile that always manages to wipe his worries away.

Gun cleared his throat as he changed the subject, away from the soft tension that he still wasn’t used to. “I’m driving this car back to Crystal, since I only borrowed it to try and look for you. When we get there, I need to gather a few things from my office before we go back home. In the mean time, just wait in the lobby on the second level of HNH Group’s headquarters. It won’t take long for me to get everything.”

“Okay… But how are we going to get back home?”

“Crystal will be the one to drop us back home. She’ll just be accompanying us with her chauffeur.”

“Oh, I see…”

Crystal, again? Why can’t she just let her chauffeur do the job without her being there? She even has to tag along with her driver, just like a mother watching over her own kid.

“And another thing to mention. When you get there, don’t go anywhere else and wander off. Just stay in the lobby. I don’t want to have to deal with my boss if you go missing.”

“Your boss? But doesn’t Crystal already know me?”

“No, not Crystal. I don’t have just one boss, you know. My other boss is Chairman Choi, Crystal’s father. He is the CEO of HNH Group.”

“Ohhh… right. You did mention her father earlier…”

“So you were eavesdropping on us from earlier?”

“Hey, what do you mean by ‘eavesdropping’? This car obviously is an enclosed space so I had no choice but to listen to whatever you two were talking about. The information that you and Crystal spilled was LITERALLY forced onto my ears.”

“You didn’t even bother to cover your ears during our conversation? Or ignore it?”

“Why the hell would I cover my ears just because you two were talking?! That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard you say so far. You usually say some really smart or intellectual things Gun, what happened?”

“Oh, my bad. I didn’t know ignoring someone would be so hard. Or was it because you’re too nosy to even try to ignore such valuable information being exchanged right in front of you?”

“WHAT?! I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR BORING ASS CONVERSATION ANYWAYS!! That shit literally made me yawn to the point that I almost fell asleep! Talk about a sleepfest…”

“That’s because your interests in conversation topics consists of topics that aren’t even mature enough for you to even comprehend. That little head of yours probably couldn’t even handle basic topics such as the increase in supermarket prices nowadays. You probably would rather talk about things like kid’s cartoons…”

“Oh yeah? When the hell did you care so much about supermarket prices?! You earn a lot of money for being just a bodyguard! A. FUCKING. BODYGUARD. Hell, probably EVEN MORE than just any bodyguard out there! Like what type of bodyguard has at least a million won in their own bank account?! That’s fucking insane!!! And at least kid’s cartoons won’t make me snore mid-conversation…”

Gun sneered as he was steering the wheel while driving. “How childish. You’d be surprised by the amount of work that I needed to clean up when I have to deal with all of their shit. They’re all just a bunch of bad software with incompatible hardware.”

“‘Clean up’? What do you mean by that…?” That last reply from Gun confused you, since you had no idea what he was talking about. He had lost you at the “software and hardware” part, which made you believe that he had to deal with actual computers.

A bodyguard that deals with computers…? Is that his side job? I didn’t know he was a tech nerd too.

“We’re here.”

Gun informed you as he pulled up to the curve in front of the tall HNH Group building. As you watched Gun unbuckle his seatbelt, you did the same as well as the both of you got out of the car at the same time. Before doing so, you took your banana milk and Old Reliable with you before leaving the car. Simultaneously, Gun gave back the car keys to Crystal’s chauffeur who was standing outside waiting for Gun to return with the car. After that, Gun made his way towards the back of the car to open the trunk again as he grabbed onto the bag of groceries. He handed it to you before closing the trunk door shut, leaving the car behind to Crystal’s chauffeur to take care of it. You followed after him through the automatic sliding doors of HNH Group’s company building.

Right when you walked in, your eyes roamed around the building’s internal features as the whiff of corporate power hit you with a bang. The company was grand, as you eyed its massive stairs that connected to its upper floors. Elevators can be seen from either side of the first floor, as many businessmen and other employees entered and exited through them. When you looked down at its black and gold tiled floor, you saw HNH Group’s massive logo greet you with its corporal fame.

Wow, so this is what being in a powerful company feels like…

From how distracted you were with HNH Group’s building, you didn’t realize that you were falling behind Gun until you heard Gun yell at you from up ahead as he said in a bossy tone, “Hurry up, or else I’m leaving you there!” Your startled eyes immediately turned back to where you were supposed to be focusing on as your feet picked up the pace right after him.

Once the both of you got inside an empty elevator, you stood right next to Gun as he pressed the “2” button. In response, the elevator door slowly shut in front of you, leaving you to wait in the rumbling elevator for only a few seconds. When you heard a small ding from within the elevator, the doors reopened itself, allowing Gun to walk ahead of you to lead the way.

While winding through the crazy amount of employees down a narrower black marble hallway, the room transitioned to an open large space. Gun led you into the room where a lot of chairs were placed in horizontal rows in front of a big white granite counter with an employee taking calls behind it. Suspended above, was a big fancy glass chandelier, illuminating the entire lobby with its bright dazzling light.

What is up with rich people and their chandeliers? Almost everywhere I go, they always have their own chandelier. Is that some sort of a “rich people” thing?

Gun stopped in front of you as he turned around to look down at you. You stopped behind him as you caught yourself from walking any further, almost bumping into him.

“You’ll be staying here in the mean time while I go get my things. And then, we’ll be leaving. Don’t go anywhere. Got it?”

You teased him with a playful smile, giving him a firm salute. “Yes, sir!”

Gun gave you a regretful look before turning around and strolling off towards God knows where, leaving you to explore the lobby for a bit.

Hm… let’s see what they have here…

You walked towards the transparent glass wall on the right side of the lobby, which left you dazed just by staring at the wondrous view before you. As your eyes scanned the view of Seoul’s nightlife scenery, your hands pressed against the glass in amazement.

You softly said to yourself under your breath, “Woah… so pretty!” standing there for a few minutes while city-gazing from the second level. Looking down, you could see people walking past the building as they all look like tiny ants from below. It was a funny thought to think about, until you decided to release your hands from the glass and to step away from the wonderful scenery that distracted you for only a moment.

That was fun while it lasted. What else does this place offer that could relieve me from this sense of boredom?

While looking around the wide room, something caught your eyes from among the business setting. More like, SOMEONE. That person looked like they obviously did not fit in with this busy environment, which made you think how foolish you were for not noticing them sooner.

As you decided to sneak your way towards that person in curiosity, you circled around them to see what that person was up to. You stopped behind a kid with bright purple hair, who was just sitting in front of a computer screen right behind the counter of the lobby. He made you wonder why was there a kid in a building that occupied busy and sophisticated adults.

Is he here to wait for a parent? Is his mom or dad working right now? That must be why he’s waiting in the lobby, just playing games or somethi- what the…???

As your eyes trailed to the kid’s computer screen, you couldn’t believe what was on his screen. The boy had two open windows split in between the entire computer screen. On his left window, was an article on learning how to program your own game. But on his right open window, was some sort of private security system. The kid’s hands rapidly typed on the right window, inputting codes of commands to unlock encrypted locks of heavy virtual databases. You gasped while clasping your hand onto your mouth in bewilderment at how quickly this kid managed to crack through the passcode of such advanced encryption. When he finally got into the system, he rested his hands for a bit as he cracked his own knuckles, readying himself for more typing. However, you jumped when he instantly said, “I know you’ve been standing there, staring at my computer screen like a creep. You don’t have to hide it anymore.”

As you gulped nervously, he pushed his wheeled seat back a bit before spinning around to face you. The boy’s face had a mischievous smirk, enough to want to smack this kid from upside the head. He was wearing school uniform, which looked familiar to you for some reason. As you stood there to recollect yourself, you cleared your throat awkwardly before replying to him.

“W-why didn’t you say anything sooner if you knew that I was just standing there behind you…?”

“Because it’s amusing to even see you sneak around me like that. You looked like an idiot too, while trying to peek from behind me. Talk about creepy. Haven’t you ever thought of me possibly catching you through the reflection of my screen?”

“Why, you little brat! Don’t you have parents to be with right now?! Just run along home, it’s probably already past your bed time!”

“Huh? Are you a moron? Why would a kid be here in the first place hacking into an advanced system, like you just saw. Haven’t you ever thought of me possibly WORKING here?”

“W-what…?”

Who the hell is this kid?! The level of hacking expertise that this boy had was on par with a professional hacker! A cybersecurity genius! AND THIS KID WORKS HERE?! WHAT TYPE OF ESTABLISHMENT IS THIS? HE’S JUST A MINOR! WHAT EVEN IS THIS COMPANY, AND WHAT DO THEY EVEN DO?! Wait… does Gun know about this? Does he know this kid? What type of shady business is this, if they allowed such a young person to even work for them…? Wait a minute… does this tie to the four major crews that Gun mentioned from before? Now I’m curious. Well, I won’t be surprised if this is some business disguising itself just to hide its true motives. Even Gun’s position seemed a little… off to me. I need to ask Gun later about all of this…

“Anyways, why is a simpleton like you even here? You couldn’t be working here since you’re too dumb to even manage things around here. They probably wouldn’t even hire you.”

The purple haired boy was starting to get on your nerves as you reacted in fury by clenching your fists.

“Oh shut up, Purple Fanta! Why the hell did they even hire someone as young as you in the first place?! You’re not even dressed properly for the job. Like what is that? Oh yeah… your school UNIFORM?!”

“‘Purple Fanta’? How dare you even call me that! God, you’re really starting to piss me off here.” The kid place his hand on his forehead, gripping his own temples on the sides of his head as if he just got a huge headache.

“And you think I’m not pissed off here, as well? Geez kid, you’re really giving me a backache from all of the annoying things that just came out of that rude mouth of yours!”

“Ugh, whatever. I shouldn’t even be wasting my time with you right now. I have better things to do…” Purple Fanta boy turned around in his seat and returned back to hacking.

“Hmph…” You crossed your arms, annoyed by the kid’s bothersome attitude. But you couldn’t help but be drawn to whatever he was working on, as you walked closer to him and leaned in over the side of his computer screen.

“Where the hell did you learn how to hack like that?”

While not even taking the energy to turn his head to look at you, the kid scoffed while typing as he said, “You’re still here, Ajumma? I thought you said that your back was aching…”

You ignored his irritating name-calling as you pressed him further. “Aren’t you supposed to use a VPN while doing all of that? Be careful. If you don’t use one, then they might trace your IP address back to you.”

“Of course I’m using it. I’m not an idiot like you, you know. And besides, even if they did manage to find my location, I can always use DDOS to block their interference on their end.”

“Alright, but have you ever tried sending them a virus before? That’ll crash their system in no time and it could lower their system’s run-time until they won’t be able to use it on their end. Besides, you’ll be able to retrieve information if their system is weakened.”

While typing, the purple-haired kid chuckled deviously as he said, “I’m wayyy ahead of you on that. Watch this…”

As he received a red signal that sensed an unknown interference trying to access his data, his fingers sped through the many keys on his keyboard until he finally tapped on one final key, which resulted in the red message to clear from his screen.

“What just happened?”

“I just sent them a virus. They should have received it by now. Haha, what a dumbass.”

“Ohhh nice!” The kid glanced at you with a straight face, watching you giggle in triumph.

“Have you… hacked before?”

Your eyes met with his, shaking your head. “No, never. I only read about this kind of stuff, and watched some videos here and there about it. I’ve always wanted to learn how to do it though…”

“What, really? You seem knowledgeable about it, even for someone who hasn’t hacked before. If I asked someone who works here about it, they wouldn’t even know what the hell I’m talking about. They’d think that I’m just saying some sort of complicated spell, even if I tried to explain to them about hacking. They’re all just a bunch of dumbasses…” He mumbled that last sentence while looking down at his keyboard in embarrassment.

“Really? Wow! Then you must be some sort of genius then if you’re the only hacker around here!”

“Yeah, something like that…”

The boy’s eyes seemed to be lost in thought so you decided to change the subject by directing it to his other interest. “So… you’re interested in making a game?”

“What?”

Your finger pointed at the left window opened, with the article still there.

The kid crossed his arms as he scoffed to the side. “I was just curious to see how games were made. It doesn’t mean that I’m interested in making one!”

While looking at the boy’s flustered face, you raised an eyebrow with a questioning look. “Oh, really now?”

As you took the mouse in your hand, you scrolled through the article, reading and skimming through the words to see if most of the information given was accurate or not. The boy watched you in silence, while you read through the article in front of him while he was still blushing. While doing so, you didn’t notice three people heading towards your direction. Gun was done retrieving his things from his office, as he was holding a leather business case in one hand and a Manila folder on the other hand that held important documents. He was walking with Crystal beside him and DG who was walking side-by-side next to Crystal, filling Gun in about the meeting that he had to leave early from.

While talking to them, Gun turned his head away from the two of them, as his eyes were now focused on you right in front of him. Crystal and DG’s eyes followed his gaze as the three of them now stopped to stare at you and the purple-haired boy communicating amongst yourselves.

“Is that (Y/N) and Kouji?” Crystal looked at you and the purple-headed youth in curiosity.

DG looked at you and Kouji, holding his own chin in deep interest. “Who’s that with Kouji? Is she new here?”

Crystal looked at Gun, waiting for him to explain to DG about who you were. As Gun sighed, he said, “She works for me. She’s actually my maid.”

DG looked at Gun with a bit of surprise on his face. “Your maid? You hired someone to take care of your house for you?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Why all of a sudden? I thought you don’t trust people with your own home?”

“I decided to get a housekeeper because I don’t have time to clean shit up. Plus, I was the one to interview her personally and I already did a background check on her, so she’s safe.”

“I see…”

While the three of them stared at you and Kouji still talking to each other, another voice decided to join in on their little group.

“What are you guys looking at?”

Three of their heads turned around to see Goo walking towards them from behind, stopping to stand next to Gun’s right side.

“And where the hell have you been?” Gun asked in an indifferent tone.

“Who, little old me? I just took a potty break, that’s all. You should’ve joined me Gun! We could’ve been toilet buddi-”

Gun interrupted Goo in an instant as he said, “No thanks.” leaving Goo to chuckle in entertainment.

“You’re no fun at all! Anyways, what are you guys just standing there for?”

All of their heads turned back towards you and Kouji. Goo smirked at the sight of the two of you as he decided to break the distance between their group and your little group with Kouji, walking towards you to get a better listen in on your guys’ conversation.

“Hey, Goo! What are you doing?!” Crystal called out to him in a rigid whisper, but Goo ignored her as he stopped at a spot where he can finally hear your exchange of words with each other. The rest of the three followed as they now were able to listen in on your conversation with the kid from a safe distance.

“Well, since you’re ‘not interested’ in making a game, then let me ask you this… What’s stopping you from actually making a game? Is it the programming part, or do you just not have the time to create one?”

“I told you already, I’m just not interested! Why can’t you just accept that fact, plain and simple?!”

“That’s a load of bullshit.”

“What-”

“I don’t believe you one bit. If you’re really interested, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you from doing it!”

Kouji looked down at his hands as he balled them into fists of frustration, as he said through gritted teeth, “But I’m a hacker, not a programmer. I can’t be both at the same time…”

“Who said anything about not being able to do both?”

Kouji looked up at you to see a face full of strong determination with a glint of encouragement in your eyes. As you bent down on one knee to meet Kouji face-to-face, you placed your right hand firmly onto his shoulder while you still held onto your grocery bag in your left hand.

“You can be both if you tried. If you really believe that you can do it, then don’t be afraid to try. I know you can do it kid, you’re smart! If you got the brains already, then all you need is the right amount of determination. So, don’t let your position limit who you can become. Learn how to be confident in yourself, before you can accomplish even greater things.”

As your hand released his shoulder, your hand then gently pat Kouji’s head repeatedly, resulting in him to just sit there motionlessly. Currently, Kouji was too stunned to even speak. At that moment, he was wondering who had sent an angel to him. An angel that was sent to him from the heavens up above. In all honesty, he didn’t really think much of your presence because you didn’t smell rich and you didn’t look the part to be a rich conglomerate at all. You were just an ordinary person. However, he never knew that hearing a stranger’s words were enough to comfort him deeply. Even the rest of the four geniuses who just watched you give Kouji that pep talk were speechless. Crystal was moved by your speech, as she smiled at how heartwarming that was. DG was intrigued even more by you, wondering who was this stranger that managed to enchant Kouji like that. Goo, on the other hand, was fascinated by Kouji’s change in behavior as he saw his facial expression changed instantly. Knowing how the little brat normally would have replied rudely, that just wasn’t the case at all this time. And Gun? Well, he thought whatever he saw was almost holy. Too holy. It was like seeing a caring mother comfort her own child. Madonna and Child. A truly inspiring masterpiece, like the aura you had around you was glowing in a warm and welcoming light. Gun thought that your kindness was too perfect, like you always knew how to do the right thing. Were you always like that? He wasn’t sure.

Kouji finally realized that you were still petting his head as he just brushed your hand off of him to the side saying, “Psh, whatever… stupid lady…” You grinned before reaching over to his head again to roughly mess with his hair. “Yeah, yeah, whatever Purple Fanta. Acting like a tough kid, when you actually act like a baby brother. How cute~”

The violet headed boy glared at you as he began to smack your hand whenever you reached out to pet his head. “Hey, knock it off, lady!You’re so annoying! And stop calling me ‘Purple Fanta’!!!”

You ignored the violet headed teen’s demand as you continued on with the conversation. “Okay Purple Fanta, let’s get back to the programming talk. So, this is what you got to do before programming the game. Forget naming your game, you can do that later. First, you have to learn the basics like with variables, arguments, and functions. I’d prefer using Python since that language is more up-to-date and convenient, but it really doesn’t matter what language you start with. After you get used to the basics and learned Object-Oriented Programming, you’ll have to think of which algorithm to use, so before you select one…”

When you turned your attention back to the article on the screen to point out information while lecturing him, the four of them still stood there in amazement while listening in on the technological terms that came out of your mouth. They had no clue what you and Kouji were talking about at that point, so they turned their attentions back to each other.

Crystal turned her gaze towards Gun as she asked him, “Gun, did you know that she’s a tech genius?”

Gun shook his head. “No. Actually, this is a first that I’ve heard her talk about this kind of stuff.”

Goo let out a sly laugh. “Well of course she wouldn’t talk to you about it, you wouldn’t even get it! You’re too dumb to even know about that techie mumbo jumbo.” He said, as he lightly patted Gun’s back before Gun swatted him with his leather case.

DG immediately turned to Gun as he came up with a good idea. He suggested, “Gun, what if I introduce her to Chairman Choi? She might be able to get a working position here with the amount of tech knowledge that she has-”

“There’s no need for that.”

“What? But wouldn’t that benefit your housekeeper more if she got a job here for HNH Group?”

Crystal thought it was a good idea as she joined in on DG’s recommendation by stepping into the conversation. “I have to agree with DG here. She could also benefit the company if we were to take her in under our care.”

“Like I said, there won’t be any need for that. I still need her to do the chores for me at home. Also, I was the one who brought her into my own personal life, so I’m still responsible to look after her. Please excuse me…”

“But-”

Gun dismissed himself, squeezing through DG and Crystal as he began to walk towards you while calling your name. “(Y/N)!”

When your ears caught the sound of Gun’s voice, you turned around eagerly with a bright grin as you said, “Gun! Are we going n- …”

The volume of your voice died down gradually as you saw Crystal right behind Gun, along with Goo and another stranger following him.

Oh. So he’s been with Crystal all this time…?

You felt your chest tighten at the sight of them together. From behind them, Goo waved as he yelled out to you. “Yoohoo! Hey, (Y/N)! I told you we’d see each other at an interesting time.” Kouji beside you turned around in his seat as well, as he glanced at you, Gun, and Goo who seemed to have known each other already. “Wait a minute… you KNOW them?” One of your hands rubbed the back of your neck while you bashfully nodded, due to the feeling of all of their eyes on you.

Goo stood right beside Kouji as he ruffled with his hair too, beaming with delight. “Hey there, Kouji! Awww, is my little baby still wetting the bed?” He said in a playful tone, which caused Kouji to slap Goo’s hand away from his head while giving him the death stare.

“Shut the fuck up, Goo! And stop labeling me as the ‘Baby’ in our group chat! It’s fucking annoying!”

Goo shook his head while clicking his tongue repetitively in a chastising manner. “That’s not very nice Kouji. Little kids aren’t supposed to be cursing.”

“I’m a few years younger than you, you asshole!”

While Kouji started to squabble with Goo, you stood up to meet with Gun’s gaze in front of you. “Did you get everything that you needed from your office?”

Gun held both of his hands out to you, showing the folder of documents and the leather case in his hands. You nodded in affirmation, confirming that you did indeed see that his hands were full.

Unexpectedly, the stranger approached you from beside Crystal. You had to admit, this mystery stranger was handsomely similar to Daniel, with his clear face with no blemishes. He made you question what was his skincare routine, to have such flawless skin. The stranger’s light pink hair was parted down the middle of his head, as his hair color reminded you of spring cherry blossoms. His eyes were beautiful too, as they looked like clear gems. The man’s tall and broad figure got you staring at him, with his Louis Vuitton T-shirt, his light ripped jeans, and his Givenchy shoes. Around his neck was a gold chain with the Chanel symbol dangling from it. This man’s physique screamed “Rich!”, almost as if he looked like a famous celebrity. You can’t help but think that you’ve seen his familiar face before.

My god, how many beautiful ikemen did I run into today?

“Hello, I don’t think we’ve met. You must be Gun’s maid, that I’ve been hearing so much about. I’m not sure if you need an introduction. But just in case, hello, I’m DG. I work with Gun here at HNH Group. You can say that I’m Gun’s senior and co-worker. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

DG smiled and held out his hand to you, resulting in you to stare at him, mesmerized by this man’s charming charisma. As your hand reached out towards him to give him a firm handshake, you replied politely by saying, “It’s nice to meet you as well, DG. I’m (Y/N) Sasaki. Thank you for taking care of Gu- er… Mr. Park while working here.” You gave a casual laugh while trying to ignore Gun’s hostile eyes, knowing that you almost caused your act to slip.

With Gun still standing there right next to you, he turned his head away from you, while trying to calm himself down from the built up annoyance that he now has to deal with. When you let go of DG’s hand, something in your mind hit you.

Oh my god. No wonder this guy in front of me looks familiar…

“DG?”

“Yes?”

“By any chance, have you recently appeared on the reality tv show called ‘Running Man’?”

DG’s mouth curved into a wide grin. “Oh, you’ve seen that episode already? I just filmed that with them a few months ago. I didn’t know that they already released it.”

“Oh my god, so that was you?! I knew I’ve seen your face before! Now that explains it. Sorry, I don’t know who you are and what you really do. I’m unfamiliar with the pop culture around here, so…”

“No worries. I’m actually a K-pop idol. You’re actually the first ‘young’ person that I’ve encountered who doesn’t really know who I am. I feel somewhat humbled…”

“Oh, geez… I feel bad for not knowing who you are, I’m terribly sorry-”

“No, no, it’s okay. I understand.”

“Um… do you have any song recommendations that you’d like to recommend for a… first-time listener of yours?”

“Ah, well… Most artists would suggest listening to their newest album, but personally, I’d suggest my oldest songs first. That way, you’ll get to hear the progression of how my music changed over time. Actually, here, I’ll show you.”

“Oh, no, no! You shouldn’t bother showing me your music! I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already have…”

“I insist, (Y/N). It’s the least I can do for someone new to treat me ‘normally’. I haven’t been able to experience an ordinary interaction like this, in a while. So, here…”

DG took out his phone from his pocket as he leaned in closer to you to show off his saved albums from within his phone. While letting you listen to bits of his older songs, Gun turned his head back towards you, as he saw you and DG standing really close together. While looking at you smiling up at DG, Gun’s eyes silently pierced the both of you dangerously as his grip around the handle of his leather case clenched tighter than before.

Everybody was busy doing their own thing as no one realized that Crystal was still standing there, observing everybody’s actions like a hawk. It seems like Kouji and Goo were too busy to notice what was happening between you and DG yet. On the other hand, she noticed the little interactions among you, DG, and Gun. Her eyes looked at Gun intently, as his eyes were focused on you and DG talking with each other. Crystal could obviously see that Gun looked angry towards the two of you, but… why?

“(Y/N), we’ll be taking our leave now.”

When everybody around Gun heard his announcement, the rest of them were now focused on him. His domineering presence had somehow gained control of everybody around him. Right when you heard his voice, you turned your head towards the sound of him calling your name.

“Oh, okay…” You took a few steps away from DG as you bowed at him as a sign of thanks. “Thanks DG for showing me your wonderful songs! I’ll listen to them whenever I have free time to myself.”

DG beamed at you saying, “Anytime, (Y/N). I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about them. Until next time…”

You smiled back at DG and as you were about to follow Gun from behind with your grocery bag still in your hand, Kouji suddenly yelled out, “Wait, (Y/N)!”

Everybody’s eyes were now on Kouji, who was now blushing from his own sudden outburst. When he caught your attention, you turned around and asked him, “Yes, Kouji?”

He looked down at his own fists on his lap as he couldn’t look at you eye-to-eye from what he was about to ask. Unexpectedly, he asked, “C-can… Can I have you number?” Everyone’s eyes widened from Kouji’s unusual request, that even Gun stood there surprised. You didn’t mind at all as you said, “Oh, sure kid! But, um… the phone that I have with me right now doesn’t work…”

Crystal raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why? What happened to your phone?”

A small embarrassed laugh escaped from your mouth as you explained to them, “Well, you see… My phone was stolen from me earlier, but I got it back! It just broke during the process of when I was trying to get it back…”

“Oh…” Kouji’s head slumped down, feeling disappointed. You couldn’t bear to look at the kid’s upset face, so you came up with a quick solution.

“But! I know what you can do…”

You took out the slip of paper that Gun gave you from earlier this morning, with Dr. Ahn’s address on it. You didn’t need it anymore, so you decided to tear a piece of it and gave the blank side of it to Kouji. Afterwards, you took out a small pen from within your bag then handed it to Kouji as well. You gestured for him to use those objects in his hands, as you said, “There, use those. You can just write your name and phone number on there. When I try and look for a new phone, I promise I’ll text you right when I get it.”

Kouji’s cheeks still had that bright red tint, as he started to write down his name and phone number on it. “D-don’t get the wrong idea! This is for when I needed to ask questions about how to program some parts of the game that I’m going to make…”

You giggled at his cute reactions while saying, “I’ll take your word for it.” While waiting for Kouji to finish up writing his phone number, DG approached you to ask, “Is it alright if I can give you my number as well? You can text me about what you think about those songs that I just showed you. I’m curious to hear about what you have to say regarding them.”

In surprise, you quickly nodded. “Of course you can! And once again, thank you for your song recommendations. I’ll make sure that I’ll get to every song in each album.” Once Kouji was done, DG decided to write his name and phone number too on that piece of paper.

Goo snuck around to where Gun was standing, as he stood there waiting for you. When he finally made it to Gun, he gave a small casual whistle, as he leaned in next to Gun with that usual cheeky smile of his whispering, “Uh-oh! You better watch your girl from now on, Gun. Now you’ve got some competition to look after…”

“Tch. Shut the fuck up Goo, before I decide to bash your head in. I’m not in the mood for your pathetic half-assed sympathies.”

Goo smirked as he retreated a few inches away from Gun. “I was only joking Gun. Besides, you shouldn’t act like that. I know that you must’ve made your move by now, knowing you. So, did you guys have fun last night…?”

That really did it for Gun. His eyes directed at Goo’s in a very sinister way, as if he wanted to murder him at that very spot. Goo, of course, was very pleased with himself for having to piss off Gun for him to be looking at him like that. It really goes to show that Gun was extremely bothered by what’s happening right now in front of them, as Kouji and DG might be interested in you, but that is a far-fetched idea… for now. Goo chuckled at himself before placing a hand on Gun’s left shoulder before leaning into him once more in a whisper saying, “Ah, ah, ah. Be careful Gun. You’re bearing your fangs a little too much. I suggest keeping it on the down low, if you know what I mean?”

Gun was still glaring at Goo, as his hand grabbed onto Goo’s wrist to lift his hand up from his shoulder. With such force, Goo gave a foxy grin back at Gun, loving his wrathful reactions more and more. He could feel his wrist crushing from Gun’s unbearable strength, but he could still withstand him. Gun usually was able to ignore Goo’s bullshit being thrown at him while keeping a straight face. However this time, Gun was more of a mess than usual. It was unlike him to show how bothered he was, and Goo finds it interesting to think that you changed him so much in about a month. When Gun finally got rid of Goo’s hand from his shoulder, he turned around while heaving out a heavy breath before calling Goo a “Dick.”

After both DG and Kouji wrote down their numbers on that piece of paper you slid it into your pocket and gathered all your things before walking towards Gun to resume following him from behind, along with the rest of the geniuses. You were about to go until you stopped in your tracks to look at Kouji one last time.

“Kouji, it’s Quick Sort, not Shell Sort. I forgot to mention that to you, that the article stated something incorrect on there. The run-time for Quick Sort is much faster than Shell Sort. That’s just a little tip from me to you, if you want to use that to search for items if you plan on making an Adventure game. Well, I hope your game comes out well, and when you finish it, let me be a beta-tester, okay?” You gave him a wink before returning to Gun and the rest of the geniuses.

“Man… who is she, really?” Kouji whispered to himself, still dumbstruck from the conversation you just had with him.

. . .

When Crystal’s car arrived to pick you, Gun, and Crystal up from the front, you said your goodbyes to DG and Goo right before you got inside the car.

“Bye Goo, DG! I’m not really sure when I’ll ever see you guys again, but I hope you take care.”

DG smiled at you as he replied with, “Likewise. Take care, (Y/N).”

Goo gave a cheerful wave while saying, “Goodbye (Y/N)! Let’s hang out sometime in the future!! Oh, and Gun…”

Gun turned his head around to look at Goo one last time. He already had a feeling that Goo wasn’t going to let him go silently, without toying with him one last time.

“Just confess already!”

Crystal and DG had confused looks on their faces, while Gun shook his head as he grumbled, “Fucking idiot.” before opening the door of the car to sit on the seat across from you. He had a lot on his mind that day and he wasn’t going to let Goo ruin his mood even more with that unnecessary comment.

You didn’t quite hear what Goo said since you were already in the backseat of the car. All you saw through the tinted glass window was Goo mouthing inaudible words with the usual devilish grin that he always had on his face.

After Crystal took the front seat next to the driver’s side, her chauffeur started the car right away, which was a sign for you to wave goodbye to DG and Goo. You found the button to roll down the window by pressing it. The window rolled down, as you waved out to DG and Goo for a final goodbye. DG gave a short wave, while Goo waved wildly enough to annoy Gun who could be seen glancing at him from behind you for only a split second, then turned his head away to the window next to him, embarrassed to be even associated with Goo.

The car finally exited the driveway of the company’s building, now entering the busy streets of Seoul. Once they were out of sight, you rolled up the window again to rest your elbow onto the window frame to lay your head on your hand while you looked out the window. Meanwhile, Gun and Crystal started discussing about the usual business related topics.

“How come I didn’t see your father around in the office?”

“He left right after the meeting ended to prepare for another business appointment at nine.”

“I see. I was hoping to explain to Chairman Choi about why I had to excuse myself earlier.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. He’s preoccupied with a lot of things on his mind, so I’m sure he’ll let this one go.”

“Alright.”

“As far as I know, he still doesn’t know about you hiring a maid, so I’ll leave that up to you to explain.”

“I’ll do that right when I meet with your father again. In the meantime, I-”

Unexpectedly, a low snore can be heard from beside Gun, which interrupted his train of thought. Both Gun and Crystal were caught off guard as they both turned to see you sleeping so soundly while resting your head against your hand.

Crystal covered her mouth with a smile forming on her face, trying to contain her own laughter. Beside you, Gun’s eyebrows were knitted, ashamed at the sight of you sleeping without a care in the world.

He scoffed while shaking his head and crossing his arms in disapproval then said, “I have to apologize again. She can be quite… something. I’ll go ahead and wake her up.”

Crystal giggled slightly, before stopping Gun from reaching his hand over to you to shake you awake. “No, no, it’s fine! She must be tired from her little escapade today, so let her get some rest before you two arrive.”

Gun sighed, pulling back his arm from further interrupting your sleep. He crossed his legs while watching you sigh in between soft snores. A small smile formed on his lips saying, “This idiot…”

Crystal smiled as she asked, “Oppa, doesn’t she look cute when she’s sleeping?”

“Hm? ‘Cute’? ‘Cute’ is quite the understatement. More like, a ‘bother’ to begin with.”

Crystal let out a cheered laugh, which was rare for Gun to even see and hear. His eyes turned to your unconscious face once more, thinking that you were some sort of a ‘unique gift’ that randomly dropped under his care. It was a surprise to even believe that you were the cause that allowed him to see such rare events today, especially with the geniuses involved.

What an interesting show of events, he thought.

. . .

When the tinted luxury vehicle arrived in front of Gun’s driveway, Gun attempted to wake you up by shaking you awake while telling you to wake up and, as expected, you wouldn’t budge at all. So, he decided to carry you from your seat, exiting the car and making his way to your side. Crystal insisted on helping him out too, as she told her driver to wait in the car as she went to retrieve all of Gun’s belongings from his seat, including your grocery bag. His hand pulled on the latch of the door to open it slowly, knowing that your head was leaning onto the side of the door. Fortunately, he caught your head on his chest, as his muscular arms snaked around your figure carefully to grab a hold of you gently. With your bag still slung around you, he rearranged it onto your lap to make it comfortable for him to carry you. He then placed your arms around his neck, while supporting your back with his left hand before scooping your legs up in his right arm so he could finally lift you out of the car. After he had gathered you in his arms, he closed the door shut, making his way up the marble pathway to the front door. Crystal followed right after him, still carrying his things and the grocery bag that was now dried with egg yolk from the inside.

Gun stopped in front of his door, and was able to still stretch one of his hands over to the advanced passcode lock to input the password to unlock the door. Of course, he he was still wary of you in his arms, so he was still careful enough to move while you were still asleep. When he got it, he opened the door and immediately headed over to the lounge area to set you gently down on the couch. Gun was aware that the couch still had that big stain on it, but he had no choice since Crystal was present in his house. At least your body would hide the stain for only a temporary period.

Crystal was about to set everything down near the door, until Gun stated, “I’ll take those.” He left your side for only a brief moment, strolling towards Crystal to grab everything from her grasp. He returned beside you, setting down everything near the couch, allowing Crystal to give her final words to Gun.

“Tell (Y/N) that I wish her good luck in working as your maid. It must be always tiring for her to keep up with the workload that you gave her so far. Also, tell her that I said thank you for being a sister-figure for Kouji. It’s hard to get to him sometimes, but I’m glad to see that he gets to open up to someone who finally understands him. I’ll be taking my leave now. Goodnight, to the both of you.”

Gun nodded, and with a final nod in return, Crystal walked out the door while softly closing the door behind her. His attention turned back to you, staring at your relaxed state again, snoring away.

“And what am I going to do with you now…?”

In his head, he was thinking of what he should do to wait for you to wake up. Gun decided that he’ll let you rest on the couch for a bit while waiting for you to wake up. He’ll stay with you for only a few hours until he decides to carry you back to your room before he gets to finally sleep. No amount of talking and nudging could wake a sleeping log, such as yourself. But first, he had to move all of his belongings from the office into his room. As he grabbed all of his things, he went upstairs to transfer them into his room.

Gun came back downstairs and when he reached the bottom of the stairs, he noticed the bag of desserts from that restaurant, still out on the table beside the stairs. He let out a disappointed sigh, asking himself, “Why didn’t she even bother putting this back in the fridge? It’s as if I have to do everything by myself around here. So much for being called a ‘maid’. If she really was my maid, she’d definitely be fired in an instant.”

As a responsible adult, he decided to take the bag of desserts and put it in the fridge but before he did so, he checked to see if the food was still alright to still be consumed. He took the takeout box out and opened it. When he leaned in closer to the slices of cake, he smelled it to see if there was a weird funky smell, but it smelled “normal” to him. It wasn’t enough for him to be convinced that they were still edible to eat, so he took a piece of a slice of cake by pinching a piece straight from it with his hand and tasted it. Gun wasn’t really into sweets, but he thought the cake was pretty good. Not too sweet, not too bland. It was spongey, yet not dry at all. After taste-testing it, he confirmed that the food was still good, as he closed it then walked towards the kitchen to finally put it inside the fridge.

Afterwards, he returned back to the lounge room, grabbing onto the TV remote on his way to one of the bar stools to sit on. He leaned his back against the counter of the bar, before turning on the TV, switching through the channels to find any interesting shows on for the night to try and occupy himself while watching for any signs of consciousness from you on the couch.

“All these shows, and there’s nothing good to watch. How boring.”

His eyes glanced at your peaceful face once again, until he said, “You better not make me wait for too long…”

Three hours have passed, until your eyelids began to twitch. When your eyes slowly fluttered open little by little, you asked yourself, “Where am I…?” before helping yourself to sit up properly on the couch. Confused, you looked around to see that you were back home in Gun’s house, specifically in the lounging area. Your eyes scanned the room until you spotted Gun sitting at the bar, watching a late night Korean reality show from the flat screen TV with a dead expressionless face. From Gun’s peripheral vision, he sensed movement which made him fixate his gaze right at your conscious self.

“Oh, you’re finally awake.”

“Urgh… what time is it?” You asked Gun while rubbing your tired eyes.

“It’s one in the morning.”

“WHAT?!”

Gun took out his phone from his pocket, as he held it out to you to reveal the actual time.

He is right, it is one in the morning. I’m officially awake now, hahaha…

“How long was I out for?”

“For three hours.”

“Oh god, for that long?!”

“Yes, you were sleeping like a bear in hibernation.”

Your face flushed into an embarrassed state, realizing that your sleep must’ve dragged on even from when you were riding in the car. Which means…

“Oh no… did Crystal see me sleeping too?”

“Quite frankly, yes. You were even drooling too.”

“W-WHAT?!”

You panicked as you began to consecutively wipe your mouth with the back of your turtle-neck’s sleeve. Gun snickered, now glad that his real form of entertainment is currently wide awake.

“While you were asleep, I was the one who had to carry you in here. So, I just set you on that couch since there wasn’t any comfortable place for you to lay in.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. So, you’re telling me that you decided to put me down on the couch?”

“Yeah.”

“THIS couch?” You asked while pointing at the leather couch you were sitting on that still had the dirty stains from earlier’s sinful fiasco.

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“And what made you think that was a good idea?”

“Well, I didn’t want to bring you up to your room. That would be too suspicious and Crystal followed me inside the house since she wanted to help bring our stuff for us.”

“Did she even SEE what was on the couch?”

“No, she didn’t. You don’t have to worry about that. And even if she did, she wouldn’t even think like that. Her mind isn’t as polluted and dirty as yours.”

Your face erupted with an even greater warmth of blood in your cheeks, as you shot him a nasty glare. “Oh yeah, I wonder who’s the bad influence here who made me think like that…”

Gun chuckled as he turned off the TV to stand up from his seat. His eyes glanced at yours with a mischievous gleam. “Am I really the bad influence here?”

He slowly walked towards you with that same gaze in his eyes, making your heart pound even faster than usual. His feet stopped right in front of you, who was still sitting on the couch. You looked up at him as his eyes peered down at yours. He bent down to lean in closer to you, meeting his eyes at the same level as yours. Gun reached out his hand towards you, making you flinch until you realized that he only placed his hand on the couch’s cushion from behind you to help hold himself at that position to lean in even closer to you. His face was already so close to yours that you could feel his breath when he whispered, “It was you who seduced me first. I only reacted to your invitation. You can call me the bad guy here, but you’re the one who’s even naughtier than me. You’re such a bad girl, (Y/N)…” All of a sudden, you felt his left hand grip your chin firmly, as Gun’s face slowly inched closer towards yours. You felt your lips quivering nervously, as his own lips were now a few centimeters away from yours. Not to mention, your body was starting to heat up even more, especially with that warm turtle-neck already on you, making your body sweat from underneath.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, not this again… it’s going to escalate into THAT, isn’t it?

Bracing yourself, you closed your eyes, anticipating for what was about to come until you heard a, “Phfft…” You opened one eye to peek at what was going on, in which you see a laughing Gun in front of you. His touch left your face, as his hand was now covering his eyes while laughing hysterically.

“Ah (Y/N), your reaction was priceless! I didn’t know that you’d be making such a funny face like that.”

Clenched fists accumulated from Gun’s tease as you yelled, “You’re such a fucking asshole!” You didn’t think twice when you decided to punch him on his shoulder. Gun didn’t expect your hit as he felt the strong impact from your hard punch, head on. Concurrently his grip on the couch released, resulting him to fall on his back for only a short moment, before he quickly picked himself back up by rolling backwards and pressing both of his hands on the floor to push himself up on his feet again. When he landed cleanly on his feet while crouching, you couldn’t help but be impressed by how fast his reflexes were, even though you were still pissed at him for what he did. When he stood up straight to crack his own back muscles, he rearranged his tie around his neck in an unintentionally attractive way, which just made your indignation towards him grow even more.

God, this pisses me off. How can he be such an asshole, yet prevent himself from falling like that? And look at him, fixing his tie like that. Ugh, how annoying!

Quickly, you repositioned yourself on the couch to get up and stomp towards the stairs without even looking back at him.

Gun chuckled at your annoyed reaction to his teasing, as he called out to you asking, “(Y/N), where are you going now?”

Without sparing him a glance, you yelled back at him with, “None of your damn business!” while stomping up the stairs. Once you got to the top of the stairs, you were thinking of heading straight to your room until you caught a bright light shimmering down onto the dark floor from outside the glass doors near the top of the stairs, which led out to the balcony outside. You were wondering why it was so bright outside, regardless of it being late at night so you decided to go inspect it.

The walk towards the glass doors was a new experience for you, since you haven’t really took the time to explore what was on the second floor balcony outside. When you unlatched the handle of the transparent doors, you slid them open to reveal an even better view of the night city lights from afar, extending out infinitely to the sky and the full moon displaying itself with all of its glory. Captivated by how huge the moon was in the sky with its carved-out craters, you were hypnotized by it as you walked towards the railing of the balcony, leaning against it while mesmerizing at how beautiful the full moon was from above the night sky.

“I’ve never seen the full moon this huge before. It’s so beautiful, from up here.”

Distracted by its stunning astrological presence, you didn’t notice Gun peeking in on you from the opened balcony doors. A gust of wind blew from outside and into the house, as it caught Gun’s attention when he arrived at the top of the last step of the staircase. The opened doors peaked his interest, deciding to see the source to why they were open in the first place. He hadn’t really been out to the balcony in quite a while, but he had a feeling that it was your doing who have brought him there in the first place. It was a bit chilly outside, but that didn’t bother Gun as his suit was already warm enough for him to endure the cold. When he sauntered towards you, he halted right beside you. His eyes were also fixated onto the moon that was beaming at the two of you from above.

“So this is where you went.”

You rolled your eyes at how he ruined you mood of moon-watching, saying dryly, “Go be a dick somewhere else.”

Gun stood there next to you while viewing the moon in silence. During that long excruciating silence, you felt that it was time to bring up something important that has been bothering you ever since you visited HNH Group.

“Gun…?”

Gun’s dark fearsome eyes turned to look at your alluring face, glowing underneath the moonlight. As your head turned to meet with his eyes, you’ve gathered the courage to confront him about what has been occupying your mind.

“Tell me everything about yourself, HNH Group, and everything that you’ve planned so far. I don’t want to be kept in the dark from all of this. As your student who has been beside you all this time, I deserve to know what I got myself into.”

[End of Ch. VII]

[stupidlittlespirit]

do u have any reigen and dimple hcs? I never rlly see anything abt them n its so sad💔💔

Hey anon, sorry this is so late! I've been out..... Socialising *shudder*

I know you probably mean Ekurei, but I got another ask about them so I'm gonna use this one as an excuse to talk about them both separately and then the ship in the other.

Everything below the cut! Reminder that these are just my own opinions. You can disagree, but do it on your own post.

TW: personality disorder discussion, bad parents, mental illness, suicide mention, vague kink mention.

Reigen:

Hold on tight. I feel so strongly about this little fucker.

♡ - I absolutely believe he has some form of personality disorder (and not just because I have one too hehe). Cluster B, most definitely: Possibly HPD or quiet BPD. He displays a lot of symptoms (need for attention/fame/recognition, belief he's 'meant for something', strong displays of emotion/regulation issues, depressive tendency, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships). I think it would explain a lot, personally.

♡ - Reigen has likely always struggled with himself as a person.  I think he would find it easier to pretend to be something/someone else, to project a false personality and use it to his advantage, than to reveal or examine how he truly feels. He never wants to be known too deeply by others.  Likely from experience in childhood/with parents/friends etc, he's found that opening up and allowing intimacy of the self offers too much of a chance that he might be betrayed. People are often cruel and they take advantage of those who expose themselves as vulnerable, and there's only so much of that that a person can take.  His parents probably showed no interest in his feelings for the most part and any time he expressed his concern about them, he’d be met with their rejection:  “Reigen, we don’t talk about things like that”, or “Not now, honey”, or “There are some things that you should keep to yourself.”  Never a word of guidance or helpful advice from them. Just frustration and ignorance, which results in him developing the uncanny ability to bury things so deeply that one might forget that they’re not normal to ignore. 

♡ - As above, Reigen has a terrible relationship with his parents thanks to an unstable childhood. I know it's canon that he has a sister who is also disapproving of his career, just like his mom and dad, and I can totally see some Golden Child vs Black Sheep tension going on there. He resents a lot of the attention maybe she got whereas he was always The Disappointment, even into adulthood, despite being quite successful eventually. I think he avoids contact with them as much as possible, and his parents only ever reach out to chastise him or finger-wag over something ('why aren't you married yet?' 'why are you still in this shitty job?' 'why can't you just be normal?' etc) .

♡ - Reigen absolutely falls apart in the relationship department. He's bi, but totally a virgin: Not for lack of trying necessarily, I think he desperately wants intimate connection but doesn't know how to go about it. He has a tendency to be genuinely quite insufferable because of the personality he projects. If he had the confidence/ability to be vulnerable and was more comfortable just being him then he'd probably have a lot more luck. He wants to show his true self but is so worried people will reject him (hi BPD!) that he's too afraid to do it, and too embarrassed about his fear to express that he needs advice. Reigen is always the guider, never the guided.

♡ - REIGEN IS GINGER. ALL OVER. NO ARGUMENTS. REDHEAD LOVER NATION RISE UP.

♡ - He totally has a fucked up perverted side. I don't think he's genuinely immoral with it (committing actual serious crimes), that would go against his beliefs, but he's definitely inclined to get a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with it. Again, with the inability to be himself and general dysfunction around sexuality (especially as an adult virgin) I imagine he's very secretive about it. He's not one to talk freely about sex and is quite teenage boy-esque in his shyness about it. Guy also totally jerks off like crazy.

♡ - Back in his (younger) youth, Reigen would have been a habitual thrill seeker. A lack of self-preservation from a lifetime of not caring much if he lived or died: ambient suicidal idealisation. Probably still is, though less so nowadays what with the responsibility of Mob and with gaining a more stable life and sense of self through his business and friendships. At first, I think it would have been difficult for him to understand that drive, to pin down exactly what it was that he felt was missing in himself. It probably took more than a few attempts to figure it out and eventually, he’d come to realise that he enjoyed the risk of it all. The thrill of being in danger, the risk to his life, and even the potential of being caught, and then that would encourage feelings that had to have left him ashamed and frightened of himself.  Reigen wouldn't have known anyone else who felt the same way and wouldn't have put himself out there to find others, either.   He would have needed something to hit that spot and as he’d grown from an awkward teen to a difficult adult, he’d come to the uncomfortable realisation that living a regular life wasn't going to offer what he needed. Over time, he’d been forced to submit to that need, lest he become pent up. Bloody knuckles and bar fights (he loses, every time), risking employment by jumping from job to job (it is also NOT 'normal' to quit a stable job - even if you hate it - and risk it all on a fresh venture to be self-employed), and though drugs and alcohol can be too expensive to sustain, that wouldn't have stopped him from dabbling in such things in order to cope with the confusion for a bit.  Eventually leaving his teenage years, maybe around twenty one-ish, rather than picking up something on the legal side of risky like skydiving or solo caving, Reigen starts sneaking into places he isn't supposed to be. Going against the law in small ways oftentimes comes with the territory of thrill seeking (for him) and he’d never cared much for it anyway, so he’d battle his moral concerns for chasing the high of being the bad person he’d always been told (and convinced himself) he was. Be it a private function or a board meeting, Reigen learns to case out a joint, talk his way inside and get free room to roam in someone else's shoes for as long as he can.  I think it would have given him freedom from his shitty reality and if he broke the law in the process, that was a win-win for him. The achievement tasted even better if he pissed off authority figures, too.  He'd used his blagging talents to get free food if his cash flow was limited too, and no one would ever stop him. If you walk around like you own the place, rarely do people argue with you. The moment Reigen realised it was an easy game, he was in.  He probably matured out of it for the most part, but retained the skills (see: The infiltration of Claw) and used them to his advantage. I know a lot of people think he's just kind of falling upwards in terms of luck. I just like to get a little deep and dark with it lmao

♡ - Fast-paced by nature, constantly moving/talking/thinking, can't stop can't stop or else he'll have to listen to his brain, he'll have to think about all the bad stuff that lurks in the darkest corners. Obnoxious to hide the perceived inadequacy. 

♡ - He is totally a soft-hearted little shit deep down. You just have to peeeeeel away those complex layers and get your hands dirty to see that. He doesn't believe he's a good person, but he is.

whew okay, that's not all of my feelings but that's enough!

Moving on to Ekubo:

♡ - He and Yoshioka are bffs. He develops a bond with the guy (totally in the 'bad guys turned good club': I firmly like to believe that Yoshi is ex-yakuza) and they have a mutual agreement for Ekubo to use his body sometimes. Everything is consensual and Ekubo respects Yoshioka's autonomy.

♡ - Ekubo is, like Reigen, deep down a softie. He's very honest and loyal, and he has no problem being straightforward about stuff. He'll tell it like it is, without sugar coating the issues, and make sure you understand why he thinks that. I don't think he's the type to just leave it at that though: he'd give solutions and advice to fix the issue.

♡ - He loooooves to be a meanie to Reigen. They're both competitive by nature and butt heads a lot, but would go to the ends of the Earth for the guy.

♡ - Office pet. Office mascot. Loves it. Will never admit it.

♡ - When Mob eventually moves on from Spirits and Such, Ekubo starts spending most of his time with Reigen. Mob wants independence and the freedom to be more grown-up, and he'd specifically instruct him to keep watch of his mentor and make sure he's doing okay. Not to say Ekubo wouldn't ever hang out with Mob, but when you're off to college and stuff and exploring the world through that maturing lens, the boy probably won't want to be supervised constantly.

♡ - Ekubo will never admit that he's supporting Reigen and Reigen would never allow him too, but they both like each other's company. Yoshioka also joins them sometimes.

♡ - Ekubo has a lot of respect for Serizawa. He appreciates his psychic ability, and also his resilience in life. He helps Seri with his homework too hehe.

♡ - I like to imagine that Ekubo has been dead a while. He doesn't remember much of his original life, but he wasn't the best person in it. Not evil, just.... Lost in a similar way to Reigen. He has, however, got significantly more lived experience than all of the others in the office combined. He might have died a long time ago, but possessing people isn't new to him and he'd have to have lived through others at times. He's learnt a lot about people and life and death and all the shit in between, and it makes him an invaluable asset in the form of counsel for the others.

♡ - Longs for genuine interpersonal connection. In a human vessel, verrrrry touch starved.

♡ - Yoshioka has a silver tooth and you can pry that idea from my cold, dead hands.

♡ - Worship kink.

[sayakaskokofish]

Hello! I know I've been remaking a bunch of stuff but I'm almost positive this will be the last time unless I find a new charater fixation.

I own almost nothing but this blog and my work aside from my robin dividers (and some others) and the robin rentry since I learned how to make one.

I sincerely hope you enjoy my blog and it's remake and can continue to support me and my very depressing motivation!

I write for almost every character with the exception of most Fontaine characters but if I do however write for them they may end up being ooc since I quit playing before Fontaines release so some writing may be stereotypes and personality that I've gathered from media.

If you however have questions if I write for a charater, you are definitely free to ask!

A lot of my rules are standard to my main blogs rules however i let anyone interact but I am a minor who will not write nsfw and I am not sure I plan to even as I become an adult as I just am not comfortable with sex and that stuff in general

If you can't access my main blog however ( @yourlocalmikankinnie ) I can give brief rule explaining here.

☆ I don't write for kid characters like Klee, Diona, Nahida, Dori, Qiqi, ect but I do write for charaters like Fischl and Chongyun who are more teen like as someone who is a teen. And since I don't write nsfw I will not sexualize minor charaters or minor presenting.

☆ I will write angst and heavy topics like suicide and self harm but I will absolutely not glorify it in any way and the only reason I am willing to write such topics is because not only have I attempted (I barley talk about it online with the exception of briefly talking to my friends) but it's very difficult getting comfort scenarios for self harm that aren't the general method. I won't do yandere stuff however, along with that kinda dark content.

☆ My limit for charaters is probably like 4-5 unless specified otherwise but even then I can't promise that all charaters will be written for so if you have a charater you specifically want written make sure to tell me snd I'll prioritize them out of the other charaters if my motivation runs out.

☆ I do write for other genres and I'm open to gender/pronoun S/O, Y/N, ects however I'm a white female so male readers may be a bit tricky and I won't write anything of ethnicities but I can do features like glasses, hair colors, charater like readers, lgbtq+ themes, aus (occasionally) and anything else I'll awnser if questioned on!

More stuff will be added

I know that it's a bit confusing having a robin themed blog while only writing genshin but I have like almost 0 clue and knowledge on honkai impact and jonkai star rail besides certain stuff and charaters I know.

I'll probably try making rentrys for people now that I know how to but I can't promise they'll be as good as the ones you can get from other people since I've just learned how to make one.

Another import thing to know is that I am a fast typer and my keyboard is slightly messed up so spelling errors WILL happen lol

with all of that said, thank you for checking my blog out, I apologize for the tags greatly, it's just to branch my new thing out

[hbosucc]

Greg Hirsch x Reader

Ok being brave and posting the first chapter!! It's an x Reader fic (I used Y/N, so much nostalgia lol) with few descriptions of the reader insert, besides afab/uses female pronouns, works as a tutor, and is mid-20's in age.

First up, Content Warnings: This fic is for readers 18+ only. The first two chapters aren't explicitly NSFW, but later chapters will be.

Content Warnings for:

Sexual Content: consensual, protected sex between two adult characters, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), p in v, slight power play (choking, one partner holding the other's wrists down, all consensual).

Swearing

Alcohol & (in one of the later chapters, I will put another warning at the top when I post it) drug use

The Roy family & their whole mess lmao

If I can think of anything else I'll make sure to add it!

A few other things:

I found out about the allegations against Nicholas Braun (Greg's actor) after I'd already written most of this fic, and I do not condone his alleged actions at all. This fic is only about the character he played.

Greg is kind of a pathetic, goofy little man. I really can't explain my attraction to him!! I simply had to write this fic to get all that out so I can go on with my life lmao.

Chapter 1: First Date

I took a seat at the bar, anxiously checking my phone again. I’d met people from dating apps before, but was still always a bit nervous beforehand. First dates, in general, freaked me out. But the man I’d arranged to meet was really cute—in his pictures, at least—and the bar he’d suggested was fancy and well-populated, so I decided to brave my nerves and wait a while longer for him to show.

          Taking a slow sip of my gin and tonic, I surveyed the room, narrowing my eyes. Usually, I would’ve waited for my date to arrive before ordering, but he was late, and I was hoping the drink would settle my nerves.

          Was that him? His bio had listed his height as 6’5”, which I’d initially thought must’ve been an exaggeration. If that was him, he certainly hadn’t been lying. I watched as he glanced around, looking almost panicked, until his eyes landed on me. He visibly relaxed, his lips turning up into a smile as he headed towards me.

          “Hi, Y/n?” He asked, and I nodded, looking him up and down. He was late, after all; I couldn’t go too easy on him. He slid onto the stool next to mine, unwinding a scarf from around his neck. I couldn’t help but notice his hands: large and long fingered. With his height, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t seriously packing below the belt. I snuck a look down at his shoes, clocking their size while he ordered himself a drink.

          “Would you like another?” He asked. My gaze snapped back up to meet his.

          “That would be great, thanks. Gin and tonic.”

          He turned back to the bartender to order for me and open a tab. I finished my first drink and the second appeared almost immediately.

          “I’m like, so, so sorry I’m late. I should’ve messaged to let you know, I just, work was literally insane today.” He blew out a long breath, and I felt bad for him for a moment. Unless he was a fantastic actor, he seemed genuinely frazzled.

          “Well, I suppose I can forgive you, as long as you keep the drinks coming.” I smiled to let him know I was joking—well, mostly—and was rewarded with a nervous laugh. “What do you do for work? It wasn’t in your bio.”

          “I—well, I work for a media company.”

          “This is New York, Greg, you’ve got to be more specific than that.” I rolled my eyes, but stopped when I saw how apprehensive he looked. “Unless you’re under an NDA or something, of course. If you tell me, you’d have to kill me, and all that?”

          “Something like that, yeah.” He ran a hand over his dark hair and gave another nervous chuckle.

          “That’s okay, we don’t have to talk about work. Mine’s pretty boring, anyways.”

          “Oh, what do you do?” He asked, straightening up.

          “I’m a tutor at one of the private schools on the upper-east side. English, mostly, though I can do most other subjects in a pinch.”

          “That’s impressive, you work at one of those rich people schools?” He raised his eyebrows. “You have to be, like, really smart to work at one of those.”

          “I suppose so.” I laughed, almost choking on my drink. I liked his bluntness. Most people use bluntness as an excuse to be an absolute dick, but he was blunt in a nice way. It seemed as though he was incapable of pretense; he just said whatever came to mind, even if it didn’t come out in the most eloquent way.

          There was a beat of silence, and I stirred the lime wedges around in my glass. I knew I needed to slow down; my limit was typically three drinks. Less than ten minutes into the date and I was halfway there already. I was supposed to be pacing myself so I wouldn’t end up drunkenly throwing myself at him. Not that I was completely opposed to taking someone to bed on the first date, but I had to admit that was beginning to feel juvenile to me. If I liked someone enough, I preferred to let the tension build up for a bit first.

          “So,” I started, having realized that so far, he’d been asking all the questions. “Did you grow up here, in New York?”

          We went over the usual first-date questions, and I began to feel more comfortable as the date went on. I’m sure this was partially due to the gin loosening my nerves, but Greg also just seemed so harmless. There was an initial timidity to him, but I could see the beginning of something else underneath that. Something in him wanted to break out, and I could feel myself growing intrigued by the idea of opening him up.

          “So, what are you, like—what brings you to the app? The one where we met, I mean.” He swiveled to angle his stool towards me, finishing off his first drink and catching the bartender’s eye to nod for another.

          “Well,” I tried to choose my words carefully. This was the part where I knew some guys would get scared off, and I liked Greg so far, so I hoped that wouldn’t happen. “I’d like to find something long-term, to be honest. I’ve dated people over the years, done the whole casual thing, but I’ve grown tired of it. What about you?”

          “Yeah, same, actually,” He nodded thoughtfully. “It’s just, like, so hard to find cool people, you know? People are so, like, fake nowadays.”

          “I suppose so. I think people have always been fake, to some degree, but now it’s just easier to see. Social media, and all that. Broadcasting every thought you have out into the world.” 

          “I didn’t even think about that,” His eyes widened in a nearly comical way, though I could tell he was being sincere. “but you’re absolutely right. People can just, like, send all their opinions out there, no matter how crazy.”

          “Exactly. I mean, I use social media, don’t get me wrong, but not to that extent.” I hastily added, “And I don’t think I’m better than other people for using it less often, or more discreetly, it’s just a preference.”

          “I feel like…I hope this isn’t too much, okay, but your voice is really nice. I feel like I could listen to you talk, like, all day. And you have all these smart things to say, too.”

          “Greg,” I was taken aback and quite flattered. He’d managed to fluster me. “I’m not that smart, I promise—and I say plenty of nonsensical things. If you’re around me enough, you’ll see lots of that. I’m just on my best behavior at the moment.”

          “Well, I’d be interested to see you on your worst behavior.” He said, then seemed to realize what he’d implied, and chuckled nervously. I could see his wheels turning, formulating an apology, and I cut him off.

          “Likewise.” I drained my drink through the straw, the toe of my boot nudging his leg as I turned to order another.

---

          “Are you sure you’ll be able to get home okay?” He asked. We were out in front of the now-closed bar, waiting for my ride.

          “I’m sure. It’s just an Uber, Greg, I’ve taken them hundreds of times.” I smiled up at him. It was freezing, and we were both bundled up in our coats, scarves, and gloves. I really did have to look up at him now that we were standing. He was nearly a foot taller than me, even in my heeled boots. “Are you sure you’ll get home okay?”

          “Yeah, okay, yeah I’m sure.” He sighed with a grin. “I do appreciate the concern, though.”

          “Well, you paid for all of our expensive-ass drinks, so it’s the least I can do.” I said. “Thank you for that, by the way. I’ll get the check next time, if you’d like.”

          “It’s no problem, really. I, um…I used to be really broke, not too long ago, actually, and it feels really nice to be able to pay for stuff now.”

          “I know that feeling.” I nodded. I squinted as a car pulled up to the curb across the street, barely able to make out the license number in the dark, and compared it against the one on my phone screen.

          “Well, that’s my ride,” I said, looking back up at him. “I would like to do this again, if you’d be interested.”

          “Yes, I would. I’d be…very interested,” He said, his breath seeming to catch in his throat.

          “That’s great to hear,” I stepped closer, pausing for a moment, wondering if he’d make a move. When he didn’t bend down to kiss me, I had to admit that I was disappointed, my stomach sinking, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment at my presumption. I stepped back, giving him a wave instead. “Well, I’ll see you, then.”

          “Yeah,” He cleared his throat, and he called after me as I crossed the street. “Let me know when you get home!”

          “I will. Goodnight, Greg.” I gave one last wave before shutting myself into the backseat of my Uber. The driver played music on a low volume the whole drive, and it began to snow lightly as we approached my apartment building. I got out and stood in the cold for a moment before heading upstairs, trying to wind myself down. It had been a good date, and I had thought I’d felt some chemistry between us. Though without the kiss that tended to punctuate a good first date, it was hard to tell for sure. I knew I would overthink it all if I let myself, so I got ready for bed, taking a sleeping pill so I wouldn’t stay awake and replay the date over and over in my mind, wondering if and where it’d gone wrong.

[wishing-stones]

Hihihi i saw your reblog about calcium cat recently and... thank you for that! It was eye opening and confirmed some suspicions i had... and im sorry you dont have to post this ask if you dont want to, i just didnt know where else to go. I don't use tumblr often, very sorry if i am bothering you!

So, i used to be a big fan of calcium cat's, and when i learned from your reblog that she's not someone i want to associate myself with, i remembered that she and topazshadowwolf (someone who wrote some Dadmare and Soriel fics that I liked, i think they're well known in the community but im not sure?) were affiliated with one another, and topazshadowwolf has these two posts on their blog that arent outright queerphobic like calcium cat's posts. i wanted to see what your thoughts were on it as a second opinion because i dont want to judge them too hard, but i also got an icky feeling from these posts that i can't really explain. I dont want to cause trouble for them if they don't deserve it which is why i wanted to ask your opinion on it. And im on anon in case if it really is that bad...

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738317097192603648/anon-i-am-not-going-to-reply-to-that-ask-i-dont?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738292724279672832/i-didnt-want-to-say-this-but-its-been-bugging?source=share

Uhmm yeah thats about it. Sorry, you probably dont get asks like this that much, i really just didnt know what to do and didnt see anyone talking about it and thought i was going crazy, i wanted to ask someone. I am a queer person myself and i just felt like these posts were really off but idk why :(((

Sorry this took a bit to get to Anon, I legitimately had no idea who this person was. Also had to grapple with the fact that I'm apparently a big enough figurehead here to ask about discourse? Willlddd to me. I'm not used to this LOL.

Discourse under the cut

The first thing that strikes me as off is the fact that Cal commented on the ask linked in the first post you provided. Don't like that. Openly associating with someone who has been outed as an immensely bigoted trans/homophobe is.... not a good look.

However, in regards to that ask, I agree with some of what they were saying. School is a time to play at discovery, because you rarely remain who you were as a child. It's not a definitive thing. You can be adamant that you're one way in school, and once you leave it an broaden your horizons, you discover that you're another way. This ranges anything from sexualities, gender expression, to religion and belief systems. People grow and change.

As an aside, I don't agree that NM wouldn't support them if they claimed to be different from how they are as adults and wouldn't support them. No context given, but I assume the boys don't remember being adults. This means their growing experiences will be fundamentally different than they were as former adults because they are going through their childhood/adolescence in a wildly different way than they did underground. So constricting them to such a narrow scope seems... disingenuous at best.

Seems a might bit narrow-minded, but I wouldn't go screaming "transphobia" yet. Don't like the "if you feel like I disrespected you, leave" though. The correct response is to ask what you did that made someone feel that way.

Worthy of a side-eye, but unless someone presents solid proof (as with Cal's very damning twitter likes, yuck), bad vibes shouldn't be enough to try to cancel someone. I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I sincerely hope my general faith here is not misplaced.

[lipglossanon]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that it is 100% not your job to monitor what minors are doing online whether you write nsfw content or not. Minors who want to consume nsfw content most definitely are not going to care about a warning and it is 100% on parents to ensure their children don’t have access to that kind of content. I wish tumblr had a better system for blocking minors from viewing that kind of content, but it’s the internet and I feel like people really need a dose of reality when it comes to the internet. I’ve seen some real vile, fucked up works of fiction online and yours are literally just basic taboo with very, very common kinks that are usually only hot in a fictional setting. I understand everyone has boundaries, but some people truly shouldn’t scour the internet if they can’t grasps that someone that’s not committing a crime (or even writing about minors in the first place because can we talk about how common it is for fandoms to write porn between minors or even minors with adults??) should be able to write a work of fiction. I might come off as overly mad about this but as someone who dealt with sexual abuse from a family member as a minor, I find it crazy when someone starts suggesting that engaging with incest fics or even ddlg fics is supporting grooming or pedophilia. Writing should always be a safe outlet of expression and if people find it gross, they do not have to consume that content. If I was you, I would just ignore it all. You’re not at fault for anyone but *you*. Not what your followers say, not what someone doesn’t agree with, not if a minor reads your work. This is your page and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for writing insanely common smut even if you do want to be respectful. You deserve respect as well and I find it disrespectful that people expect u to be mommy to everyone on ur page.

U don’t have to post this either, I just wanted to rant as well because I’m mad that u had to deal with people making u feel bad about small things like a warning and accidentally using the word grooming in the wrong context when u obviously have 0 bad intentions and are always so fucking kind.

Hi anon!

I know you said I didn’t have to post, but I wanted to reply back to you (and this is the only way to do it haha).

I just wanted to say thank you! 💜 💜 It might seem silly but this means a lot to me! 🥹🥹

You seriously made me tear up cause I really do try to be respectful and kind on this platform; it’s the least someone can give to another. We’re all just people ya know?

And looking back at it now after a few days have passed, I’m still confused (since I don’t even know what was being said about me/my blog) as well as disappointed cause I thought I was on friendly terms with these people. I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself before everyone just dropped me like I have the plague lol.

And to be quite honest, I find it kinda hypocritical to unfollow me for a misunderstanding when most of the mutuals I followed at the time wrote equally problematic/dark content (and I’m not even writing underage or grooming to begin with!).

Like it’s one thing for someone to not follow me for their own reasons; it’s another to tell people not to because of X, Y, Z and it not even be in the correct context cause you’re just cherry picking my asks/posts based on my ignorance.

Also, I’m sorry you had to go through that sort of abuse, anon! ❤️‍🩹 thank you for sharing ❤️‍🩹

I’m moving past it! I’ve blocked/unfollowed anyone who I thought might see my content that was involved (just in case). And any hate gets deleted. I’m honestly doing fine! Just get peeved every now and again cause like why be nice to me up until zero hour and then not even discuss it with me? I mean critical thinking skills are a thing ya know? 🤣 it’s giving Kelso (damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather 🤭)