#is it even fair to ask another adult to let me vibe it out

[what-in-procrastination]

i’m just yelling to the void here but does anyone have any cool fun ways to talk abt how asexual I am on a date

[kurokeip]

Dominant Blade and Fist is a perfect event to me but i understand how it can feel confusing and regressive(?) if you haven't kept up with the Akatsuki stories, and it probably would've benefited from a chapter where Souma and Keito do the stuff they talk about in the end.

A really, unfortunately common sentiment is that Souma and Kuro are being held back/used by Keito, and that Keito becoming involved is a negative, because he can get overprotective and controlling, but it's never been as simple as that. Never trust the enstars unreliable narrator, especially Kuro Kiryu, in this particular story.

The thing about Kuro Kiryu, is that he... Self-harms in a way. When he feels hopeless and depressed, he digs a deeper hole to die in. He becomes sacrificial, resentful and pessimistic.

The vibes are so rancid that they replicate the ones that the audience in Kanatas execution.

Kuro is absolutely right when he monologues about his dependency on Keito. It's true that to an extent, they've still been letting Keito do the heavy lifting in terms of unit proposals.

However, the one time he tries to help out, his outfits end up becoming the critical weakness.

He's not good enough, Akatsuki isn't good enough. This is like. Factual. They cannot compete with full on traditional performers, and traditional idols. They're starting at the bottom.

Unfortunately, this is a lot for Kuro, who gets stuck in his own head, to bear. He immediately sticks himself in an extreme line of thinking. That his dependence on Keito is a complete weakness and flaw,

And once again, while this is true to an extent, it isn't to the extremes that Kuro is seeing it.

And well, He avoids Keito because Keito would tell him as much. (Unfortunately, Hasumi is right again lol. You can't take on the burdens of the world on your own, Kiryu!)

Instead, Kuro turns to Souma, another person that Keito 'protects'. He asks Souma, isn't it unfair that Hasumi does all the thinking?

And... Souma is inclined to agree! I mean, he's being left out of the unit conflict and proposals.

However, one thing about Souma

He LOVES akatsuki. He loves when all three of them perform, side by side. And he recognizes, when Kuro relays his plan, that Kuro is self-destructing.

I mean, if it wasn't obvious that Kuro's plan is a form of self-deprecating it should be via the references to the Ryuuousen, and the fact that it's centered on making a power grab, regressing to their old platform at Yumenosaki.

He's going to villainize himself, take all the blame, so that Akatsuki can regain their 'power'. And they'll do it WITHOUT Keito, to protect Keito, to prove themselves.

But... Souma can't let that happen. Because it would mean the end of the Akatsuki he loves.

So he fights to protect Akatsuki, for three whole days, he does nothing but dodge and take hits, not even fighting back, until Kuro is exhausted.

When he wins, he brings Keito back into the picture. And they still go through with Kuro's plan, but they do it together, with the goal of trying new things, using Yumenosaki as grounds for experiments, having fun.

And at the end of it, Kuro is able to come to terms with the fact that he's not 'perfect', and that he's going to make mistakes. But he won't stop fighting and let himself fall. He'll be reborn through his struggles.

And he wants Keito and Souma right there with him. To watch him grow into someone he can be proud of.

Because at the end of the day, they're barely adults. And it's not fair to expect them to be the Best. They have to become okay with the process of learning their ABCs.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY. That they're there for eachother, to rely on, to work together with. With Keito's help, they were able to rework the plan into something that allowed them more freedom than they agency ever granted. And Keito also held back and let them take charge.

Akatsuki is a three person unit! It's always been! It's a three person unit of three people that have shouldered so much responsibility, have had to mature so fast,

Learning their ABCs all over again, with eachother :) akatsuki iroha uta

[short-and-ugly]

How I write Zim:

I don't have the slightest idea how to structure this so I'll just dump things as I think of them

STARTING WITH his blatant disregard for personal space and his entitlement to others!

Whether intentional or not (up to interpretation) Zim is a very in-your-face guy. He demands attention, and when he doesn't get it... who knows! Maybe he gets sulky, maybe he doubles down and tries twice as hard to garner it. Depends on who it is (tallest, dib), what situation he's in (literally the first episode, mopiness of doom).

And as for the entitlement...

He feels like everything is his to control. Or, less that it's his, and more that he's just. Allowed to do whatever he wants. With his mad-scientist vibes, this trait can sometimes (often) extend to people. He's not entirely manipulative (though he probably knows how to be) he's just stubborn, and takes what he wants when he wants it. Hardly ever asks for permission, because he never thinks to do that. He doesn't NEED to ask, he's ZIM, and everyone loves and agrees with him always.

He doesn't ever regret his decisions. He's Zim, every decision he's made ever has been the right one. And if it wasn't, he rationalizes, or flat out ignores it.

He's very silly! A silly guy! This is most likely in part to the Delusions (king of ignoring reality & lying to himself) but he could also just be Like That. He hardly takes anything seriously, and most of the time when he does try to be serious, ends up making a fool out of himself or coming up with the wildest solution (planet jackers, the wettening). Though this trait is strongly influenced by the fact that Invader Zim is a cartoon designed for kids, I think, even if displaced in another more gloomy setting, he would still live up to this fact. Just, maybe, it would be a bit more mellowed down.

But he's still a whiny, wimpy little twig. That can get beat up by a planet jacker, but also toss a small child into a larger adult woman and cause her to get knocked down by the sheer force of it.

My rule for writing Zim with this trait in mind is just, basically. Do whatever you think would be funniest.

Interjections, "YOU'RE LYING!!!" & "Eh?" yadda yadda BIG DEAL we all know about this let's move on.

He's an oddly fair... fighter? I think usually, under most circumstances, he lets other people throw the first hit. Maybe to get a feel for their style, see what he's up against? He seems to prefer fighting on even footing (the hideous new girl), unless he's feeling extra petty (the wettening).

Has no sense of priorities, and blows the smallest things out of proportion. He spent an entire episode simulating Dib's life just to ask if he threw a muffin at his head. Petty little gremlin.

Don't know what else to add so I'll leave it here, if anyone else has tips or pointers feel free to leave them with me so I can absorb them into my mucus coated body.

[shirohige-pirates]

Birds of a Feather

CisFem Reader x Marco

CW: Violence, blood, language, adult themes and scenes. 18+ only

Summary: Life has not been kind to you. After a string of bad relationships, you're a little jaded and a little depressed in all honestly. The worst day of your life seems to be the turning point, but the roller coaster ride that follows could either throw you soaring free, or have you caged forever?

Chapter 9: Ruffled Feathers

“What would you like to drink?” Marco asks, as you step up to the café counter. It’s a small section of the larger book store, but the floors are stone and there’s trashcans all through the store. The drinks come covered and there’s signs everywhere reminding people to be mindful of their drinks and other food items. “I figure we can have something to warm us up and get the lay of the land before we settle in for something to eat.”

“A black coffee, please.” You request.

“Nothing fancy? It’s my dime.” He says with a smile.

“The hallmark of a good coffee shop is how well they can do the basics.” You say sagely.

Marco chuckles. “A fair point. Two medium black coffees, Miss Gram.”

“Oh! Doc! I didn’t recognize you.” She says with a smile as she rings up the order. “Definitely not the vibe I was expecting.”

“It’s a special occasion, yoi.” He admits and you see Gram’s gaze shift.

“Oh hooo- so it is. Well, not to harsh your flow doc, but these are on the house now.”

“Ah, miss Gram, I-.” Marco starts to stammer.

“I won’t give away all your secrets, doc, don’t panic.”

“You know secrets?” You pipe up. “Why Miss Gram that is a lovely purple hat.”

“Oi, oi, oi, don’t joke, yoi!” Marco looks truly flustered, his ears are pink and his eyes aren’t as relaxed as usual. He doesn’t look angry, but you’re also not trying to make him uncomfortable. Accidentally, or otherwise.

A little nervous though, maybe.

“Another time then, eh Gram?” You question and she smiles.

“I work most of the evening shifts.” She replies back, handing over two coffees. “Enjoy your evening with that stuffy old bird.”

Marco winces, letting out a heavy, if not defeated sigh.

“I think you’ve aged a few years in the last few minutes… doc.” You say cheekily as the two of you make your way into the bookstore part of the business.

“I feel it, yoi.” He says flatly, taking a sip of coffee.

“Truly worried?” You question, leaning forward a little to catch his gaze. The smile that crosses his face makes you feel better.

“… Nah. Gram’s good people, she might embarrass me half to death, but she wouldn’t say anything I’d rather you hear from me.” Marco admits.

You just smile at the statement, and the two of you walk through the store. Marco’s suggestion is to get an idea of where everything is first, and then if you wanted to walk through a particular section you could double back. Aside from books there were also little pockets of other products, either on the ends of the aisles or tucked into small stands. More than wanting to diversify, it was almost like the store owner didn’t want any space to go to waste.

There was ample room to walk the aisles, but along with selections of tarot cards, greeting cards, puzzles, figurines, candles, journals, and varied writing sets there were places to sit. The store was bigger than you had expected, but not the largest bookstore you’d been in. The size was kind of perfect, almost freakishly so.

When you finished your initial walk through the sections, you had both completed your coffees. Just in time to have looped back to the front of the store, within view of the café. The coffee was delicious, the layout was intuitive and business savvy, and the ambiance of the store was comfortable.

“This is a really nice place.” You admit, tossing your cup in a nearby bin. “The layout’s effective and efficient, the music’s not too loud or soft. If they could fit a fireplace in here, I don’t know that I’d leave.”

He smiles looking at his watch. “They close at 11, so that leaves us quite a few hours, yoi. But, they will kick us out eventually.”

“You don’t happen to be, uh, hungry, do you?” You prompt a little sheepishly. You’re realizing that you had breakfast, but you’d gotten so caught up in everything else you’d skipped lunch.

“I had a late breakfast at the office, but nothing since. I could certainly eat, yoi.” He looks over at the café and then looks back at you. “Need something more substantial than some toasted sandwiches?”

“Ehhhh, heh, yeah. I could make due with sandwiches.” You assure him. “But I’m realizing I skipped lunch and could go for something more.”

“Well, there’s an Italian place down at the end of the plaza.” He says, but there’s something in his tone and expression.

“Is it… not good?”

“It’s not that, it’s run by one of my brothers.” He admits.

“Oh. … Ooooooh.” You’re almost certain you’ve grown ears and a tail your smile is so cat-like.

Marco laughs despite it. “You’re not even conflicted, yoi.”

“Oh, no, I am. I’m very conflicted.” You assure him. “Conflicted about whether or not I walk down that way or skip the entire time.”

He laughs again, even louder than before, as he’s opening the door for you while the two of you leave Cups & Covers. “I’m more worried for you than myself, but if you insist.”

“Do I get to hear about this brother before we get there?” You question as the two of you walk hand-in-hand down the plaza.

“You’ve heard of him before, so I don’t see why not, yoi.” Marco rubs his chin a little as he considers. “Thatch owns the place, got it up and running before Pops passed away. A few extended family members work there with him, but too many rowdy brothers in the kitchen doesn’t work, so none of the direct siblings work with him.”

“I thought Thatch filled your dad’s shoes?”

“He did. Everyone pitches in to take care of the kids, so aside from doing paperwork, and assigning guardianship so the work’s spread around, there’s not much else for him to do, yoi. He works, same as most other parents. The main house is full though, no one’s left alone unless they can find a scrap of space to retreat to when they need it.

“But, old Thatchie-boy’s been cooking since he was six. A full two years before Pops was even okay with him doing it.” He explains, chuckling at the memory. “He’ll cook anything, but Italian is family cuisine, so he says, and so that’s what he decided to focus on, yoi.”

“So, pizza, pasta, garlic toast?” You prompt.

“Yeah, full run of things. Pasta dishes are the most prevalent, but there’s seafood platters, soups, all the way to carpaccio. It looks like a pizza and subs joint, pushed into a hole in the wall – at least from the outside. It’s a local’s paradise, yoi.”

“Won’t he be packed?” You question, looking at the time.

Marco doesn’t look at you as he clears his throat. “Probably, yoi.”

You give him a funny look, but as you continue down the plaza you realize that the place is more than just busy, there’s a line of people out the door. Marco walks right on by, waving to a few folks as you pass them. Despite the wait, no one outside seemed irritated by his actions.

“Marco, what are we-.”

“It’s alright.” He interrupts, opening the door and letting you step through first.

Walking through the door was like walking into a completely different world. The interior was old world, dark wood and heavy tables. The place looked small on the outside, but the space wrapped around the bend, and was easily three times larger than it first appeared to be. The lights were low, but not dim, and the scents of sweet tomato sauces and savory butter sauces permeated the air.

A young girl at a podium smiled up at Marco as he came in behind you.

“Uncle Marco, right on time.” She says happily, grabbing a couple menus and motioning for you to follow her.

“Right on time?” You start to question Marco, but he nudges you forward with little more than a smile.

While the place was packed, there was still enough space between the tables and booths. You didn’t have to worry about accidentally bumping some poor diner as you walked by, following the young girl through the tangle of tables. There were a few booths set into the wall that had curtains across them. Compared to the rest of the restaurant they offered some semblance of privacy.

The curtains were just short enough that the servers could see which ones were and weren’t occupied, and just long enough that the only thing anyone else could really see were the diners legs and feet. The hostess pulled back the curtains to one such booth and took a step back.

“Here you are.” She says cheerfully.

You give Marco a look before sitting down on one side of the table. He does his best to look properly admonished before seating himself across from you. The hostess sets the menus down on the table and lets you know your server will be with you shortly.

You shed your hoodie and side eye Marco a little. “We’re right on time, huh?”

“Seems so.” He says almost innocently.

The booth was a little dimmer than the main area, but there was a lit candle on the table to make up for it.

“And if sandwiches had been sufficient?” You question, folding your hands in front of you as you set them on the table.

“Then I would’ve called and released the table.”

“A place this busy, you had to have reserved the table weeks ago.”

“Oh, not at all. Thatch doesn’t take reservations.” He says with a smile.

“Doesn’t – then how’d you-?”

Marco lets a laugh slip before he gets a hand over his mouth and catches himself. “Sorry, you look really cute when you’re flustered like that.”

You can feel the blood rushing up to your face and grab a menu to hide behind it. You hear Marco grab the other menu as he leans back in the booth. There are a couple minutes of silence before he breaks it, the tone of a smile etched into his voice.

“Care for any recommendations, yoi?”

“… Sure.” You agree, peeking up over the top of the menu.

Before Marco can say anything, the curtains part, and a tall, barrel-chested man with a black goatee and an impressive pompadour hair style steps into view, setting down two glasses of ice water.

“What a lovely couple, welcome to my fine establishment.” He says, a grin as crooked and disarming as the scar on his face. “Can I start you off with something to drink, perhaps?”

Marco has the same half-lidded look on his face he usually has, but you can see traces of irritation at the edges of his smile. “Don’t you have a restaurant to run, yoi?”

“Ha! And miss this, not a chance.” Thatch beams, turning toward you with a wide grin. “I’m going to bleed this wretched brother of mine dry,” he laughs. “So feel free to order whatever you want, miss.”

You give him a crooked grin in return. “Then, I am at the mercy of your recommendations, sir.”

“Thatch.” Marco says as evenly as he can muster, but Thatch waves him off.

“I have some perfectly aged bourbon for the best Old Fashioned you’ve ever had.” He offers.

You look over at Marco who is a moment away from disappearing into his own hands.

“I think I already have the best old fashioned there is, sitting across from me.” You answer evenly. Marco’s neck and ears are red but he’s grinning devilishly at his brother who is looking at you mouth agog for a moment before he manages to compose himself.

“… I have to request, kind miss, that you compare my old fashioned with other drinks, and not-.”

“I mean, he is a tall glass of water as it is.” You muse. It felt good to fluster someone else after Marco had gotten you so good earlier. Thatch might be your unfortunate primary focus, but you could see that you were flustering both of them.

Thatch’s face was turning an impressive pink, and he straightened up, clearing his throat. “Different drink then?” He prompts, not meeting your eyes.

“An Old Fashioned is perfectly fine.” You answer evenly. Marco’s nearly biting through his lip to stifle a laugh as he enjoys the show.

“Very well.” Thatch turns to Marco and his expression goes a little sour. “I shouldn’t even offer, bird brain, but what do you want.”

“Seeing as I’m already a tall glass of water,” he’s nearly laughing as Thatch’s face turns redder. “I’ll take an Old Fashioned as well, yoi.”

“Sure, sure, I’ll get an order of bruschetta in too, and you two kindred spirits can sort out what you want for your entrées on your own.” He says, going from looking irritated to smiling by the time he finishes his sentence and leaves.

You and Marco both laugh after he’s gone, and after a minute the vet sighs.

“I haven’t seen him turn that red in a long time, yoi.” He admits, wiping his face absently.

“You were pretty in pink yourself,” you point out with a grin.

“Aye, I’m sure,” he smiles. “You certainly give as good as you get.”

You bite your lower lip a little, as you lift the menu back up. “In more ways than one.”

You hear the low chuckle from the other side of the table, follow by a quiet, “Oh, I don’t doubt that.”

[what-yadoking-likes]

Sooooo since we clearly established that you’re a wolf/hox shipper, I wanted to know if you got any other (payday) shippings going on and if we might see some in “The Cell” any time in the future?

Also what’s your personal take on Wolf and Jacket having a “father-son”-like-relationship?

BAHAHA 'since we clearly established that you're a wolf/hox shipper' LOL is that a read?? /jk

Okay SO OTHER PAIRINGS YOU SAYYYY... o h b o i

Well, when I first started out in this fandom I was a fan of Sokol/Dallas (MasterGrinder). I've always been a fan of age-difference relationships and, well, the fact that they're both extremely handsome men doesn't hurt. Another thing that drew me to this pairing was how the dynamic would work in practice - Dallas being the crew chief, the one who has to keep shit together, and Sokol being younger and probably hornier and being more likely to throw a spanner in the works of whatever carefully-laid plan Dallas had. Oh, and let's not forget @neomineom's insane fanart of the two - that really, uhh, got me into it. I also have an in-progress-on-hiatus fic where they have a first date together and Sokol gets jacked off in a jacuzzi.

Nowadays though, I'm way more likely to imagine Dallas with Bain (MasterGuide or NaviMind). I have a fair few ideas floating around for them already and some in-progress-on-hiatus Tumblr ficlets that are mostly PWPs that somehow became something bigger (kinda like The Cell L M A O ) - not to mention the odd fic on AO3 with them as the main pairing.

I think... again, they're both handsome dudes. And I see them as having a lot in common - Dallas finding it harder to feel connected with the crew as he takes on this role as crew chief - Bain deliberately putting distance between him and the gang as a whole to ensure their safety. But... doesn't this all sound very lonely? So I like to imagine they'd stave off that gnawing loneliness by being together - in secret, mind, so that when Bain gets kidnapped it gets extra juicy and ANGSTY (or I just AU it and Bain doesn't die or get reincarnated).

I’ve... dropped some hints about MasterGuide in The Cell, but it hasn’t been anything super obvious or really worth tagging. In a perfect world I would love to write more stuff with them as the main focus... but I just don’t know if I have time between work, adulting, other creative pursuits, AND finishing one of the two novels I began like two/three years ago in the hopes of getting published. So... never say never I guess?

Now I figure if I keep going on like this for every pairing we’ll be here all day, so I’ll try to give the TL;DR version of the next few (but feel free to Ask me about them another time if you want to know more!).

Sokol/Jacket (Socket) - all that aggression! All that violence! Not typically an enemies-to-lovers fan but here we are.

Wolf/Dallas (MasterTech) - nyaaw crime daddies!

Dallas/Hoxton (MasterFugitive) - angsty potential re: imprisonment, and also handsome menses :3

Jacket/Vlad (UkrainianChicken) - a meme pairing I conceived of when trying to think of who would make the most chaotic pairing in the Payday universe.

Vlad/Locke (GolfGoat) - started as a meme pairing now kinda like it ngl LOL, even the contractors need love! Plus they contrast with one another really well and would be very fun.

I’ve probably missed some out here but oh well. ON TO YOUR 2ND QUESTION.

Wolf and Jacket as having a father/son relationship... well that makes the fics about them a bit raunchier ngl!

I think for me I find it hard to see Jacket as having a role of a leader in any way, shape or form. I feel that a father is a kind of leader or role model and I’m not sure if that’s Jacket’s vibe, I guess. I will say though that my perception of fathers is grim at best due to my own experiences, so there may be something I’m missing here. I’d be open to hearing other people’s thoughts about it, for sure.

I do, however, see the two as sharing a bond because they’re both perceived of as being the most unstable/unhinged in the Payday gang. A kind of ‘nobody understands us and that’s awesome’ vibe.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Unlikely Places - Chapter 13 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter: 13 - Two Questions

Pierce puckered his lips as if a sour flavor had invaded his mouth.

His lips twisted and I watched with an odd fascination as he suddenly smoothed them out and moistened them with his tongue.

His expression altered as if he had come to a decision.

"The second question is easy to answer," he abruptly said.

"I came to your house to sincerely apologize. Believe it or not I don't usually taunt my employees with sexual innuendos of that nature or any nature, for that matter."

He was looking me in the eye as he spoke and I could see his sincerity.

His gaze was unsettling and the topic was as uncomfortable now as it had been then but I couldn't seem to look away despite my discomfiture.

I continued to stare at him as he continued to speak, my wide unknowingly expressive eyes locked on frank blue.

"I knew I had crossed a line," he admitted with a light grimace.

"You were owed a genuine apology not the begrudging one I gave that night. I try to be fair. I wasn't with you."

I was shocked by his answer.

He was being more candid than I expected.

I nodded back awkwardly.

Though the conversation that night still had the ability to embarrass me and I didn't enjoy rehashing the entire scene, his openness was making resurrecting the unpleasant memory at least endurable.

"Okay," I accepted, believing his explanation for coming to my house and letting him know I did.

But still... I needed an answer to the other question.

The one that bothered me the most.

Despite Percy's assurances I had given off no vibe, Pierce had still felt compelled to ask what he had asked.

Why had he even thought of me in that way?

This question had been messing with me since that night.

"And the other question. Why did you say... 't-that'?" I asked, not desiring to repeat his actual words.

He knew what I meant.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

He looked down at his feet, appearing uncomfortable.

I was shocked by his display of awkwardness.

Pierce always appeared as self-assured, arrogant and cocky and damned if he would show a weakness.

It was starting to become apparent to me that whatever had propelled him to act the way he did that night had more to do with him than it did me.

That thought did wonders to alleviate a lot of the uncomfortable feelings I had been feeling since then.

I waited patiently for him to answer.

Finally, Pierce looked at me.

"If I tell you, that you paid the price 'for someone else's behavior' would that be a sufficient enough answer, for now?"

Pierce took a step toward me, his face more earnest that I had ever seen it.

It leant a softness to his features that usually appeared so sharp.

He looked less warrior-fierce.

No less handsome but definitely easier to talk to.

"It's not an easy thing to talk about but I can tell you I am sincerely sorry for what I said and what I implied about you. You had done nothing to deserve it."

"I had seen something that night that shot me back into the past and like an idiot, I tarred you with someone else's brush. I can't undo what I said nor how I acted afterward. My intention in the heat of the moment ,was to unsettle you and piss them off."

"You wanted to piss my friends off?"

Pierce nodded his head.

"I very much did," he agreed without elaborating.

"And you wanted to embarrass me?" I asked.

In truth I had about another six questions I would have loved to voice but didn't dare.

I was shocked by his forthright response and impressed.

I was also, curious.

"I wanted to shame you," he admitted, looking me in the eye.

"I wanted to shame and scare you. Hence the stunt with calling you by your name. I had an advantage and I took it. What could be creepier than a supposed total stranger knowing your name, your full name, right?"

I took a mental step back to that moment when he had called my name and then my full name.

Creepy about summed it up.

I took a deep breath and swallowed, returning back to the present with a cauldron full of mixed emotions swirling in my gut.

He had wanted to scare me and shame me.

He had wanted to piss off my friends, too.

He had accomplished everything with a few well timed and worded sentences.

What did that say about him?

It said he played on a different level than me.

He acted up and out when he was angry.

I internalized and hid any irritations or ire I felt.

He provoked, I ignored.

He attacked, I sought shelter.

He acted independently, I required back up.

We were complete opposites.

I didn't see how we could have anything in common.

He had apologized and explained enough of his behavior for me to forgive him.

I couldn't say I completely understood his choices but his conduct since and his apology now were enough for me to alter my opinion of him enough to let bygones be bygones.

Saturday especially.

He had helped ease me out of my panic state and had further taken care of me after I fainted.

Extra special care, I would say going by the swift care and attention I had been given at the hospital.

Despite Branson's words, his taking such good care of Cicero also helped me see him differently.

Maybe that made me naïve but it was how I saw things.

All that being said though, he was unashamedly who he was.

Mick was right, he played by his own set of rules and I didn't have a clue how to play, period.

I didn't want to play.

I was straightforward.

Pierce was literally a person whose every characteristic was way outside of my comfort zone.

Trying to keep up with him would be exhausting in so many ways.

I should just accept his apology and put it and him behind me.

"Is that good enough to get you to agree to eat lunch with me?" Pierce finally queried into the extended silence.

I had no idea how long I had been standing there thinking.

I knew it had been long enough to return the hint of impatience to Pierce's tone.

I smiled inside a bit at the thought.

He definitely played on a whole different level than me.

I apologized, I waited patiently for forgiveness.

Pierce apologized and he expected things to be settled within a few seconds and if not, he would let you know his displeasure.

We were so different.

I really needed to end this on a good footing and say good bye.

I opened my mouth to do just that but...

"Sure, I guess," is what I heard, come out. 

[lizyarikus]

Childhood Harry Potter fan talking about learning about all the ways HP has been questionable (not "badly written", questionable ethically). Random thoughts. Fever posting.

Not being an English speaker (and a child. I wouldn't learn English well enough for nearly a decade after I first read the books), reading in translations, really made the poor [insert here] representation miss completely.

I didnt know there was an ethnic diversity painted in caricatures. Because could not tell apart a normal English name from a whimsy fairytale name from an ethnic or pseudo-ethnic name.

I'm Jewish, I didnt know the one kid with an Ashkenazi last name was Jewish, because to me it was "yup he has -man in his name that's an English word checks out".

I just assumed most names were Fantasy Keysmash and some were English Puns. Look, there's a ' in that surname, real names don't do that, how magical, also what's an Ireland? (To be fair, i probably knew Ireland exists, but not anything about the language or surnames, because I was like nine and the world was big).

Here's a nonsensical magical-sounding alliterative name that one of the translations memorably, and universally hated, made into Evilly Evil, here's another nonsensical magical-sounding alliterative name - oh she's Asian? I thought they were just doing whatever appearance casting for background characters in the movie version because all kids wanted to play in Harry Potter and they picked most of them by the vibes, except for the ones who really have to be ginger. I never cared about the movies much anyway. She was Asian in the original books too? I was supposed to be able to tell by the name?

In the first chapter of the first book it's explicitly stated that the uncle hears "Harry Potter" on the street and is surprised. Maybe it was Harvey or Harold? he asks himself, knowing it's not. I read that and my brain went "Harry is a weird magical name that's why he knows it can't be a coincidence. No one in the normal world is called Harry". Imagine my shock when I saw a real person called that on the news - in the English monarchy. I believe the moment I realized "Potter" is English for Goncharov was when I, years later, downloaded a mobile game called "Let's Create! Pottery" where you swipe to make vases the right shape.

I remember reading the name Draco for the first time and thinking "how funny, the author made up a random name and it accidentally sounds like Dragon without the last letter to me", because I didn't know that word root is in many languages and that was on purpose. He did mention it in the text somewhere later, so I was disillusioned of that one quickly.

And, of course, some people criticized the books. Especially my dad. They're stupid children's books and everything I like is invalid automatically because he has Pure Perfect Interests and I am into Dumb Shit For Babies. Even if we like the same stuff, my way of liking it is the incorrect one and he likes it for the right reasons by the way I'm reading JKR's new detective book it's good because it's not babies fiction. But, along probably legit writing questions which for obvious reasons didn't stick with me for a decade, most criticisms were about things that were like that Conceptually, e. g. "why are the first books for kids and the last ones aren't?" (that's the point, the protagonist grows up and the reader grows up with him and the problems he encounters get less and less fairytale hero's journey and more and more real life adult problems like fascism), or Just British Things, e. g. "stupid school what's the point of sorting them if they have all the same classes" (because that's what fancy British boarding schools do, mostly to promote good grades by making learning competitive and to sort them in sports teams. Both of which happen in the book), or "why are they using s train" (English people as a culture love trains. Something something industrial revolution and the greatness of Victorian British Empire.)

We (aka, fandom I belonged to a few years later, I don't remember what I thought from the first reading) knew that slavery is there, we treated it as a plot hole - she didn't think too hard about the implications when she wrote them into her silly children's book and then she's suddenly writing a book for older teens and there's a slave species there. Hence the common fanon of "magical energy leeches that signed a contract to provide service in return for consumed magic instead of stealing it". I will not claim to know how much they are actually influenced by overt or subconscious racism.

Finally, "guy always explodes stuff" is a visual gag from the movies. He exploded something once in the book and they made it a reoccurring joke. You can still have questions towards everyone responsible for the movies (which includes JKR), but, strictly speaking, is not a source material thing.

That's all I've got, please don't get sick, kids, or you'll be writing on Tumblr about Harry Potter at 5 am because you feel too bad to sleep.

[purplesurveys]

1888

A Question of Threes.

Three things you loved as a child but hate as an adult: 1. Shopping. Haaated it when my mom would enter a store and spend a good 20-30 minutes in each looking at the options. I always asked for a chair because I couldn't be bothered. Now I'm pretty much like her, if not worse haha. 2. Champorado. I had it regularly for breakfast, but after trying it again not too long ago I realized my tastebuds for it have changed. 3. Swimming. I used to find it a really fun activity (in fact in preschool we had a Swimming Day toward the end of the school year haha where we just swam and watched a movie after) that I looked forward to, but the older I've gotten the more I realized that the hassle before and after it is just not worth it haha. I don't want to think about more things to pack, to deal with the stress if I forget something like slippers or sunblock, to face the freezing air when getting out of the water, or to deal with removing sand or chlorine.

Three things you love as an adult but hated as a child: 1. Chicken curry. Dreaded it whenever that was the lunch or dinner my grandma prepared. Now it's all I ask for, apart from her kare-kare. 2. Plane rides. During my first few I was terrified of them, always thinking I had an unlucky bug and that my flight would crash. I get very excited about riding in planes now, especially when they take off. 3. K-pop. I mean tbf I still find a lot of the 2nd gen stuff to be a bit cringe, especially the hair and outfits. It's a generation thing. When the 3rd and 4th gens pivoted their styles and approaches, that's where I started to see the appeal.

Three things you would do if you won the lottery: 1. Give back to my parents. That's a given. 2. Donate to animal shelters. I donate as much as I can, but it's always nice to be able to give more. 3. Savings. Because I want to be able to get back to the remaining monies once I'm older, and I want to avoid the trap of becoming reckless ever again with my money.

Three pets you would own given the chance: 1. Aspin. I'd love to be able to take care of a rescued aspin and let it feel the comfort of a loving and warm home. 2. Aspin #2 3. Aspin #3, hahaha

Three non-essential things you do every day: 1. Play Rhythm Hive. It's a K-pop rhythm game I've been playing since 2021 and have consistently remained hooked on, save for taking a break from it the first half of 2023. What I like most about it is how its gameplay has an always-on quest to it, so you're always playing for something and you're never on just studio mode. 2. Check IG reels. It's how I know I'm getting older because I hate TikTok, but ugh Reels are the best to bingewatch lmao. They're bite-sized, they're funny, and IG is great at detecting your interests and adjusting their recommended videos accordingly. 3. Make a cup of coffee. I need it to start every day; it helps me focus. My performance at work visibly differs if I've had coffee or not.

Three non-essential things you wish you could afford to do everyday: 1. Have meal subscriptions. I can't cook and even if I learn how to I feel like I'll still be lazy...? lol so a subscription would definitely help. 2. Travel. Maybe not everyday, but it'd be nice if I can be like one of my co-workers who goes to another country every month lmao. 3. Shop. I'd love it if I can get to update my closet more frequently.

Three favourite scents: 1. Vanilla. Basic, but a no-fail. I love the sweet, subtle scent of it. 2. Seafood. It's the Asian in me and definitely the archipelago-an in me, but I love the smell of fish. The fishier and more wet market-y, the better. 3. Anything being baked! The smell just evokes super homey and comforting vibes for me.

Three books on your “to-read” list: 1. Bret Hart's memoir. To be fair I started on it already, but the copy I found was missing pages so I just stopped reading because I want to read through his stories in full. He's had such an accomplished life and career – very colorful too, at that – and he is for sure one of the very few wrestlers who'd have the most interesting tales to tell. 2. Kafka on the Shore. It's been a book recommended by Namjoon, who is generally also a fan of Murakami. I can't think of anything else; I'm not into reading much.

Three authors you’ve read all the works of: None. See last point.

Three TV shows you wish had never been discontinued: Can I name my top shows instead? In theory I don't wish for any one show to go on forever, because as we've seen time and time again shows either continue until they turn to shit (see: Friends, TBBT); or end early while still critically-acclaimed (see: Breaking Bad), ha. 1. Friends. This is my favorite sitcom ever and I still find it endearing how fast I grew in love with the show. Normally it's hard to catch my interest when it comes to series, but with Friends I quickly found myself flying from one episode and one season onto the next. 2. Descendants of the Sun. This is still my favorite K-drama I've ever seen; my only gripe with it was the superhero comeback of the male lead. It's your typical unrealistic, unpredictable K-drama plot twist (the guy was presumed dead!! and should have stayed dead!!) but naturally he had to come back so that we could get a happy ending. 3. Breaking Bad. Cliche, but it's my favorite show ever. Across all genres, across countries, across storylines. This is a show you could tell was someone's fucking baby, one that was given the utmost attention and priority from start to finish.

Three vegetables you love: 1. Broccoli. It just tastes so so good and I love its crunchiness. 2. Spinach. It's soooooo versatile and tastes great too. I love it best as a dip. 3. Green beans. Another one with a good crunch. It's perfect in kare-kare.

Three vegetables you hate: 1. Lettuce. It tastes like nothing and feels like eating wet paper or hair, lol. I always feel like I'm not getting my money's worth when I eat something that comes with so much of it. 2. Kangkong (I think y'all call it water spinach)? Too earthy for my taste. 3. Beets. The purple is very off-putting, haha.

Three snacks you’d pick for a road-trip: 1. Fries. Easy to eat, and won't make me too full so as to skip my actual meals when I get to the destination. Best if it's from Potato Corner, McDonald's, or Jollibee haha. 2. Burgers. It's great to eat-on-the go and is filling enough. 3. Siomai. Ugh, just an all-around go-to comfort food. I can have 20 of these in one sitting haha, possibly even more if I'm hungry enough.

Three favourite brands of soda: I don't drink soda. Can I list my favorite drinks instead? Haha 1. Water. Basic, but I do like water more than the average person if you can even measure that?? Haha I'll look for iced water everywhere. 2. Coffee. I used to like hot coffee, then I discovered iced coffee and there was no turning back. I can have it for literally any situation. 3. Milkshakes. Now I have these a lot less frequently than the other two since they are very sweet + usually expensive, but I can enjoy a good milkshake from time to time.

Three things that absolutely terrify you: 1. Insects. For a country that has a lot of them, they still freak me out. Especially if they either fly or have lots of legs. 2. Death. Not my own, but of loved ones. I've never seen or touched a newly-dead person (my experience has been limited to funerals) and I don't know how long I can keep avoiding it. I'm absolutely terrified for the first time I'll ever have to deal with such a situation. 3. Catastrophic situations, like if an elevator shoots all the way down to the very bottom, drowning, getting stuck in a cave, being swallowed by a sinkhole...situations where there's basically low to zero chance of survival and no allowance time to react either.

Three typically “scary” things that you love/like: 1. Heights. One of the things on my bucket list is to go to one of those skyscrapers that have glass flooring on the top floor. 2. Snakes. As long as they're not venomous, of course. I've been to one or two spots where they let guests hold snakes, and I definitely didn't let the opportunity pass. 3. Seafood. Okay this is not fit the "scary" category per se lol, but it is a polarizing choice. A lot of people hate it or are grossed out by it.

Three places you’d love to visit: 1. Seoul. It's definitely a goal but considering they're racist toward Filipinos I'm really hoping my future trip/s there go/es well. 2. Da Nang. I've been there, and I love my stay so much and want so badly to return. I was there for only 3 days there, and if I had the money I'd try staying there much longer. I know there's so much I have yet to see and visit there, and I just really really loved the slow pace they have over there. 3. India, although I'm not sure about which city yet. I'd love to try out their street food. I know I need to go with a guy though, as sad as it sounds.

Three places you’ve visited but wouldn’t visit again: 1. Shanghai. Don't get me wrong, my trip was great – the whole cruise ship itinerary was an 18th birthday gift from my dad. I just do not have plans to go back to China for as long as I live. 2. Manila. I know "wouldn't visit again" is virtually impossible because it's literally the capital and we have events there from time to time. I just don't and won't go there willingly. Super polluted, dangerous, and end-to-end it just reeks of sketchiness lol. I dunno honestly, all the places I've been to have been great! All in all Shanghai was still a lot of fun and thankfully no one was all up in my business; and Manila does have our country's best museums, so even these two are a stretch.

[multifandombitxh]

Two Years Late (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Chapter Genre: Angst/Smut vibes I guess idk how to classify it lol

Chapter Warnings: Slight bullying, sexual tension, strong language, PTSD flashbacks, mentions of blood/injury

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has shown interest in this series, I'm really proud of it and where it's going even though it doesn't get nearly as much attention as my one-shots do ♥️ if you'd like to be added to the tag list let me know! PS idk how D&D works, sue me lol

Tag list: @soapbar99 @avengersmarauders @senkobingus @httpjiikook @jessyballet @nanocoool @lightupmyjass

Chapters 1 & 2: X X

Chapter 3: The Dungeon Master's Queen

Before you could say goodbye and get the hell away from Eddie, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin appeared seemingly out of nowhere, crowding around the both of you. Mike and Lucas were giving Eddie fist bumps and loudly raving about his latest campaign, while Dustin was busy staring at you with confusion written all over his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dustin asked, catching the attention of the others.

"I, ah," You began, fumbling for an explanation that wouldn't make things more awkward than they already were. "I came toooo... pick you guys up!"

"But we have Hellfire tonight," Mike said, his tone perplexed. "You know we have it on Mondays and Fridays."

Shit.

"Oh, is today Friday?" You half laughed, trying to carry out your lie. "I totally forgot, I guess I thought it was Wednesday or something. I'll be back later to get you guys then!"

"You should just hang out with us!" Lucas said, "Aren't you always complaining about gas money? Why waste the gas to go home and come right back? Just come hang out!"

You and Eddie both looked to each other, then back at the kids.

"I don't think that's a good idea-" Eddie started, but was soon interrupted by a chorus of complaints that filled the air from the three kids surrounding you, making you wince at their pitchy voices.

"Y/N, you never hang out with us anymore!" Dustin complained.

"I hang out with you guys, I drive you home all the time!" You defended.

"Driving us home isn't hanging out with us," Dustin went on, "You only ever hang out with Steve and Robin, it's so not fair!"

"Maybe if you spent less time making out with Steve, you'd actually remember what day of the week it is," Mike added. Your jaw dropped at his statement, a scoff escaping your throat noisily.

"I do not make out with Steve," You said, giving Mike a very stern look. "If you seriously think there's something between me and your sister's ex-boyfriend, you are delusional, Wheeler."

"Wait, Steve Harrington?" Eddie asked as if he'd just pieced the puzzle together, "You hang out with Steve 'the hair' Harrington now?"

"Hang out? They're inseparable," Lucas replied to Eddie. "She's always at that stupid video store with him."

"And Robin, too, don't forget Robin," Dustin chimed in.

"Robin Buckley?" Eddie asked, a laugh laced in his words.

"Oh my god, yes, I hang out with Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley!" You shouted at Eddie, throwing your arms in the air and letting them fall back at your sides. "Jesus, if I stay, will you guys shut up about Steve?"

The three kids made the same motion of zipping their lips and you let out another deep sigh. With a lot of reluctance, you agreed to stay, following the four back into the high school and dragging your feet the whole way. Eddie led the way, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin following him closely and rambling on about monsters or something; you couldn't tell what. It all sounded like jumbled, made-up words.

When you arrived at the theater room, you found yourself an old, cushioned chair, placing it at the furthest end of the table from Eddie between Mike and an older kid you didn't recognize. The mystery teen gave you a dirty look, making you snort and laugh under your breath. You had to remind yourself that these were high school kids, and you were an adult. The only other person in the room on even remotely the same level as you was, unfortunately, Eddie.

And even that was a stretch.

"Are we letting women join Hellfire now?" The teen said, folding his arms over his chest and staring you down. It took everything in you not to burst into laughter.

"Yeah, what the hell, Eddie?" Another boy asked, "You know the female brain can't understand the complexities of this game. She'll probably ask too many questions and ruin the immersion."

For a moment, you thought to defend yourself, but decided it was pointless. It was hilarious how wrong they were, but you didn't feel the need to prove yourself to a room of sweaty high schoolers.

"Hey, you guys shut the hell up," Dustin said defensively from the other side of the table, pointing an accusing finger at the two boys. "She's cooler than everyone in this room combined."

"Hardly," Mike muttered. You kicked his leg under the table and laughed at the annoyed look he shot your way.

"It's true!" Dustin went on, standing from his seat.

"And what makes her qualified?" One of the boys asked condescendingly. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Qualified? To watch a board game? Annoyed at the amount of teenage entitlement in the room, you raised your hand slightly above your head.

"I don't even wanna be here," You said, but your words fell on deaf ears. No one was paying attention to you. No one, except Eddie, who was leaning back in his chair and staring you down like a hawk. One of his legs was crossed over the other and his mouth was pursed in a thin line, his chin turned upwards slightly to reveal his jawline. You did your best to ignore him, but couldn't help squeezing your legs together when he saw you staring back and smirked at you.

"She fought the Demogorgon," Dustin declared with a clap of his hands, refusing to back down. "It was so badass. She has this crazy sc-"

"She did fight the Demogorgon," Lucas interrupted quickly, looking over at Eddie. "In a campaign, I mean. It was awesome. It was like, years ago."

"Yeah, years ago," Mike repeated. He and Lucas looked uncomfortable, likely due to the fact that what Dustin said wasn't untrue. The most unrealistic part of it was calling it a fight rather than a bloody massacre. You were sure the other two boys wanted to get off of the subject before Dustin said too much. He had a tendency to get carried away, and the last thing you needed was for him to ask you to show off your gnarly scar.

It was a little hard to explain away without completely confessing the story. "Oh, this old thing? Yeah, damn near ripped my whole torso in half in one swipe. Talk about a tear-able workplace accident!"

Yeah. Not happening.

Eddie was leaning forward in his seat now with a taunting smile on his face. Your heart thumped hard in your chest, but you couldn't tell if it was from excitement or anxiety. "I didn't know you played D&D, Y/N."

All you could do was roll your eyes.

"Wait," One of the older boys said, "Y/N? Like, Queen Y/N, from your last campaign?"

"Gentlemen, I always hoped this day would come," Eddie addressed them, dramatically standing from his throne to approach you at a deviously slow pace. You shifted uncomfortably as he rounded the back of your seat, placing his hands firmly on the chair. "Queen Y/N, in the flesh."

The room erupted in discussion and surprise, which made you feel more inclined to sink into your seat as low as you could. You wished you could just slip between the dusty green cushions, never to be seen again. Eddie was still behind you, lurking like a shadow, now crouched to your level.

"Would you like to address your loyal subjects, my Queen?" He whispered in your ear, his tone teasing and his breath hot against your neck. "They all fought for your honor, you know. It was pretty courageous, actually. Gareth slayed a whole Wyvern for you."

"Fuck off, Munson," You hissed through your teeth. The others were busy in conversation, laughing and reminiscing about the campaign you were unknowingly a part of in the past. It seemed that it did the trick, though, because no one was complaining about your presence anymore.

"As you wish," He replied, pulling away and returning to his throne. The game began and you sat quietly, watching as they played. You stayed quiet, watching with little interest. Sleep deprivation was really starting to set in, and your chair was starting to feel especially comfy. You decided to rest your eyes while the group played, but couldn't find sleep as they conversed and shouted over each other.

At one point, the whole table was looking to you expectantly. The silence that fell over the room encouraged you to look around, only to be met with several prying eyes.

"What?" You asked, sounding more annoyed than you intended.

"The Queen has to make a choice," Eddie said, leaning over the table with his hands splayed over the old wood. "Do you slay the intruders, or show mercy?"

"I don't even know what's going on right now."

"A group of pillagers broke into your kingdom," Dustin explained, "Are you going to make us fight, or kidnap them?"

You furrowed your brow. "I thought I was a queen in a different story."

"Campaign," One of the teens corrected.

"We decided to revisit your kingdom," Lucas said, "We thought it would be fun, since you're here, y'know."

"Um, I dunno," You shrugged, sitting upright. "Are they evil?"

"They're trying to burn down the orphanage you built when you became Queen," Mike said dryly.

"Oh, then yeah, fuck 'em up, boys," You said with a wave of your hand.

"You have to say it like you're in character," Dustin whispered across the way.

You sighed heavily, sat up straight, then attempted your best regal voice. "Kill them all, brave soldiers. Bring me their heads, take no prisoners, whatever."

"Good enough," Eddie said with a nod and a large grin.

After about an hour and a half, things started to slow down and the group decided to call it a night. You watched as the older kids quickly made their exit, leaving Eddie behind with you and the boys. He was still sat on his throne, eyeing you like a hawk. You tried your best to ignore him, standing from your seat and stretching your arms over your head.

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas gathered their belongings and stuffed them inside their backpacks before slinging them over their shoulders and walking as a group to the doors. They were lost in conversation, but Dustin was quick to realize you weren't following them. When he did, he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Y/N, come on!" He called out, "I promised Suzie I'd call her when I got home!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it, just a sec," You said, your voice strained as you stretched.

"Go on ahead, guys," Eddie said, standing from his seat and making his way over to you. "I'm gonna talk to our Queen for a minute."

The boys looked between each other before shrugging and exiting through the noisy double doors. Silence fell over the room the second the doors shut, leaving you alone with Eddie once again. You leaned back against the table, resting your palms on the edge to support yourself. He came to stand in front of you, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Your thoughts wandered as you avoided meeting his gaze, wondering what he could possibly have to say to you that he hadn't already.

"Those kids really respect you," Eddie said, making you scoff.

"Yeah, right," You laughed, "I couldn't get those shitheads to respect me if my life depended on it."

"I just meant- I dunno," He went on, "It just seems like you're really close with them, that's all."

"I guess, yeah," You shrugged, "I grew up with them, I basically helped raise them. Saved their asses more times than I can count."

Eddie pursed his lips and stood beside you, crossing one leg over the other. "You mean, in D&D?"

"Yes," You said quickly, "Yeah, in the, um, in the game, yep."

"What was your class?"

"Ah- my what?"

"Your class," Eddie repeated, "What was your class and level in the game? You know, the one where you fought the Demogorgon."

"Oh," You said, desperately trying to remember what that even meant. "I was... Um... A wizard? No, a mage. Definitely a mage."

"Y/N, when are you gonna stop lying to me?" He asked impatiently, turning to look at you. "You hated D&D. You used to tell me how fucking boring you thought it was, and refused to ever play it with me. I know you've never touched the game. Why the hell would they say that you played with them if you haven't?"

"Look, Eddie, I don't know why they do the things they do," You sighed, giving up the lie. "Maybe you should ask them. It was probably just something they made up so the other kids wouldn't be mad that I was breathing the same air as them."

"Jesus, you are impossible," He groaned, running his hands down his face in exasperation. "Why can't you just be honest?"

"You'd hate me more if I was honest," You said, flashing him an empty smile.

Eddie looked over at you, his mouth turning downward in a frown. When he spoke, his voice was small, and sounded hurt. "I've never hated you, Y/N."

"Yeah, right," You said with a loud laugh, "You hate my guts, Eddie, you've made that pretty clear. Now who's the liar?"

"I'm being serious," Eddie said, his voice stern.

"So am I," You replied with a shrug.

As if his well of patience had run dry, he came to stand in front of you in one swift movement, his eyes boring into yours. You tried to move backwards away from him, but you were already backed up against the table as it was. Try as you did, it was impossible to get away as he leaned forward, both of his open palms landing on the table behind you and trapping you between his arms. He was dangerously close and smelled like ash, his hair wildly hanging in his face and giving him a mysterious look. Those gorgeous eyes were locked on yours, but would stray away every few seconds to gaze at your tensed forehead or your frowning lips. Unrecognizable heat burned in the pit of your stomach.

Eddie had that effect on you, and it drove you absolutely up the wall. He infuriated you to no end, but at the same time, he made you feel warmth, anticipation, and this undeniable arousal that made you both excited and sick to your stomach at the same time. For the second time that day he had you in a tricky spot where he had closed in on you, and you couldn't tell if you wanted to punch him in the face, or kiss him like it was your job.

It would be easier if you knew which reaction he was trying to draw out of you in the first place.

"What are you trying to do, Eddie?" You asked, "If you're trying to scare me, it's not gonna work. We went over this already."

"Who said I was trying to scare you?" He asked in response, "Maybe I'm just trying to make a point."

"And what, exactly, is that point?"

Eddie closed in even further, his lips centimeters from your ear. His breath was hot against your skin, making you shiver once before you forced yourself to still. The last thing you wanted was to show him exactly what he was doing to you. Your nails dug into the wooden table as one of his hands came to rest on the small of your back, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine. It felt like a lost cause trying to steady your breathing at that point, especially when you could hear just how breathless he was as well.

"My point is," He said softly, "You're a shitty liar, and you always have been."

"Fuck you, Munson," You breathed out, taking in a sharp breath as he pulled you closer against his body. Your back was basically arching up into him, your chests touching ever so slightly.

"You know, if you hate me so god damn much," He went on, "Why aren't you fighting me right now? You sure don't seem to be upset about this for someone who supposedly hates my guts. That's what this is all about, right? Don't you hate me? Or is it something else, but you just don't want to admit it to yourself?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" You asked angrily.

Eddie moved away from your ear to look you in the eye, his pupils blown and his mouth turned up in one corner. The way he was looking at you was absolutely sinful and made a knot form in your gut. "I just think it would do you some good to be honest for once."

God, you wanted to kiss him. His lips were right there, just begging for you to lean in and close the small space that separated you. You couldn't seem to look away from him, your lips parting gently the longer you held each other's gaze. You wanted to say something, or do something, but it felt like you were frozen in place. Your heart was pounding against your chest so heavily it felt like it would bruise you from the inside out. The silent tension in the air made you dizzy, and the longer he stared down at you like he was going to throw you onto the table any second, the less and less you could breathe properly.

By now he was basically on top of you, the only thing keeping you upright was his arm that was snaked around your middle. Your feet nearly went out from under you as he closed in, and you stumbled, but Eddie was quick to scoop you up and place you on the table. He made himself comfortable between your legs, his hands coming to rest on the table beside your hips. He was mere inches from you now, the tip of his nose nearly touching yours. For a moment, it felt like your lungs weren't working anymore.

Did you want to kiss him? You really, really did. At the same time, you also wanted to rearrange his teeth. But Jesus, the way he was looking at you was so devilish and full of lust that it was hard to keep it together. One of his jeweled fingers trailed up the side of your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shivered against his touch and clenched your jaw, lowering your gaze and doing your best not to lose your mind.

"Look at me, Y/N," Eddie demanded, his voice low.

When you looked up again, Eddie was gone, replaced by the snarling, bloody, faceless monster that haunted you day in and day out. Its mouth opened with a disgusting, wet noise, rows of teeth glistening in the colorful lights of the theater room. You gasped and tried to move backwards, but it was holding you in place, claws ripping through your clothes and drawing blood. You began to fight back, pushing and shoving on its chest and felt the urge to cry out, but the shock of the situation rendered you silent. The Demogorgon screeched above you, making you push harder until you finally broke free.

You bolted for the door, but before you could make your escape, a hand grasped your wrist and forced you to turn around. You fought against the grip, but when you turned, Eddie was standing where the Demogorgon had previously been, looking very frightened and shocked. His eyes were wide, his hair wild, and his mouth agape.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, sounding breathless.

"I don't-" You started, gasping for air. You began looking around the room frantically, eyes darting to every corner to see where it went. You wondered why Eddie wasn't freaking the fuck out. "Where did- Where did it go?"

"Where did what go, Y/N?" Eddie asked, sounding exasperated.

"You didn't see it?" You asked in disbelief.

"See what?"

When you looked down at your torso, you found that you weren't bleeding at all, and your clothing was perfectly fine.

It wasn't real.

None of it was real.

With a sigh of relief, your shoulders dropped and you felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion wash over you. You were beyond tired, now to the point of seeing things. You couldn't get away from it, even in the real world. Tears stung in your sore eyes and you rubbed them away. Eddie was still grasping your wrist, his grip loosening as you calmed down.

"Y/N, you're scaring me," Eddie said after a moment. "What did you see?"

Swallowing hard, you blinked several times and avoided Eddie's gaze. "It's nothing, I just... Forget it."

"No, do not do this again," He warned, pointing a finger at you. "You're telling me what the fuck is going on, right now."

"I can't, Eddie," You replied, looking up at him with tired eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to say it. I can't tell you."

"Bullshit," He spat, taking a few steps closer. "It's not that you can't, it's because you won't. I'm done with these stupid games, Y/N, tell me why you were so scared you about knocked me on my ass."

"I... get claustrophobic," You lied with a shrug, "You were in my space, sue me."

Eddie stared at you for a moment, shaking his head. He looked both sad and disappointed at the same time, making your heart twist in your chest. "You're a shitty liar, Y/N."

After pulling away from Eddie's grip, you pushed past the doors, taking long, quick strides toward the exit and desperately trying to force thoughts of Eddie and the Demogorgon out of your mind.

Why the hell would you see it here, now? How were you supposed to get better if it never went away? On top of that, what was Eddie doing in there? He was all over you, acting like you hadn't just been fighting hours prior. How could he just pretend everything was fine? Angrily shaking all questions from your mind, you pushed your way out of the school doors and marched into the parking lot where you found Mike, Lucas, and Dustin waiting at your car.

"What the hell took so long?" Dustin asked, impatiently pulling on the handle of the door. "It's freezing out here!"

"Sorry," You said, searching your bag for your keys. "I didn't think I'd be that long."

"Did you fight with Eddie again?" Mike asked.

"Wait, again?" Lucas asked Mike, picking up his backpack off the ground and slinging it over his shoulder.

"They had a fight last time she came to pick us up," Mike explained as you continued to desperately search for your keys. "If you hadn't ditched us for Jason and his loser friends you would've known that."

"What kind of fight?" Lucas continued questioning Mike.

"I think Eddie just doesn't like Y/N," Mike said.

"That's not true, he literally named a character after her," Dustin retorted. You were still frantically looking for your keys.

"Oh, yeah, I guess that's true," Mike replied.

"Maybe they used to date or something," Lucas said with a shrug. " A 'Lover's Quarrel', or whatever it is my mom says."

"My mom says that too," Mike laughed, "Can you imagine Eddie and Y/N being like our parents?"

"Don't be gross, guys," Dustin gagged, "If Eddie and Y/N got married, they'd be nothing like either of your parents."

"Hey, guys," You said impatiently, "I'm right here, okay? Quit talking about me like I'm not standing five feet away, or I'm leaving you shitheads here."

"Kinda seems like you'll have to," Dustin said, gesturing to your bag. "Where are your keys?"

"I don't know, okay?" You said, exasperated. "They were here earlier, I swear. Maybe I just, I dunno, dropped them in the woods earlier. I'll be right back, okay? Just go wait inside or something."

As you turned to begin the walk down to the clearing, you bumped into something solid, forcing you to take a step backward. Eddie stood before you like a towering tree, looking down at you with dark eyes.

"Having some trouble?" He asked, his tone scratchy. The kids were deadly silent behind you, as if witnessing Mom and Dad fighting again.

This day couldn't possibly get worse. Not only were you beyond exhausted and seeing things, but you couldn't seem to get away from Eddie. Your feelings about him felt muddied and blurred after everything you just experienced back in the theater room. It was hard to determine which you felt more; longing, or absolute hatred. Either way, you had reached your breaking point and just wanted to go home.

"I can't-" You stuttered, covering your mouth with your hand and fighting back tears. "I can't find my keys."

Eddie looked back at the three boys who gave him friendly waves, and he sighed, turning back to you.

"Alright, come on," He said, gesturing for you and the boys to follow him.

"What?" You asked.

"You can't drive without your keys, and I am not hot wiring your car," He explained as he began walking off into the parking lot. The kids followed after him, giving you apologetic smiles. You trailed behind them, desperately praying the day would end soon.

Dustin stayed behind with you, matching your pace as the others followed Eddie like lost puppies. You couldn't help smiling when they began rough housing, Eddie picking up Mike and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Loud protesting and laughter echoed in the parking lot, Mike shouting at Eddie to put him down and pounding his fists on his back.

"Eddie's a good guy," Dustin said, "I don't understand why you guys don't get along."

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest, staring down at your feet. "We used to be friends, but when we got into high school, he decided he didn't want to be anymore."

"I don't get it," He went on, "He talks about you like you never stopped being friends."

"Well, we did," You said, "And it was his choice."

"Okay," Dustin said, "But is it still his choice? Or is it yours now? Because I think he wants to be your friend, but you're pushing him away."

You scoffed and smiled over at him, messing with the hat atop his head. "You take too many pages out of Harrington's book, Dustin."

When you finally made it to Eddie's van, the boys piled into the back, leaving you with the passenger seat. As badly as you didn't want to be near Eddie, the idea of sitting in a car and getting at least a little shut eye seemed pretty appealing. Once inside, you buckled your seatbelt and turned to face the window, resting your forehead against the cold glass and closing your eyes.

Eddie started up his van and turned up the heat, his music blasting through the speakers at an annoying volume. After a quick glance over at you, he turned the volume down, much to the dismay of the boys in the back of the van. Eddie gestured to them with a finger over his lips, then pointed at your tired form. After that, there was only the sound of the road and soft music, which was enough to let you drift into sleep with ease.

[fuck-customers]

This happened a few days ago but...wooo boy, this guy had some unresolved anger issues or something.

I work at the front door of a movie theater, taking tickets. This family walks in with a toddler in a stroller and tickets to Nope, which is rated R. Two issues there: one, we don't allow kids under seven into R rated movies, even with their parents, and two, we don't allow strollers. The last part isn't even company policy, it's by order of the Fire Marshall because after we remodeled, there was an inspection and it was decided there's no where to safely put them that isn't a tripping hazard in the case of a fire (except for the wheelchair spots, which by law have to be reserved for people in wheelchairs.)

So like, I started to tell the guy this, and I got as far as "um" AKA before even saying an actually word when he started shouting. (For context, I wasn't being rude, I'm disabled and sometimes Words Are Hard, especially if it's a situation I don't have a Script for, and this guy's vibes were making me nervous, which makes it worse)

So I called for the head manager, and another manager also came up to the front because she could hear him from the fucking other side of the building (and this is a large theater).

I'm not gonna repeat everything this guy said, because he was yelling for a long while, but highlights include:

Threatening us

Threatening us more

Threatening us even more

Calling the other manager a "bitch" and a "fat ho" (to which she started giggling)

Accusing the head manager of threatening him even though all the head manager said was "what?" because he was caught off guard by the threats

Refusing to get a refund or change to a non-adult rated film

Finally deciding that he's gonna change movies but we ended up refusing the request and telling him to leave because he couldn't stop threatening us for long enough to make the transaction

Refusing to leave until we called the cops, and even then just going to sit in his car

Repeatedly getting out of the car to keep shouting at us while we waited for the cops

He did end up leaving before the cops showed because they're slow as shit despite literally being in the same parking lot as us.

Like, I'm not a fan of cops, but this guy wasn't going to leave otherwise. And even though I've had many angry customers, there hasn't been many times where I was genuinely worried a customer would come back and murder us all, but this is one of those times. Also I can't help but be worried for his kid and wife/girlfriend/whoever the lady with him was. If he's that angry about not getting his way for something as minor as a movie ticket (which would have been replaced or refunded if he hadn't decided to act Like That), then I'd hate to see how he acts when he doesn't get his way at home. Because I grew up with a mother with anger issues, and she was a lot more abusive in private than in public. Obviously not everyone with anger issues with abusive, but I'm pretty sure his behavior counts as abusing service workers.

Also the same day this happened, the head manager decided that my accommodation of being allowed to sit between customers is revoked because it's not fair to other employees. Granted, I don't have a doctor's note, because I don't have insurance, but I do walk with a cane. Which I'm not allowed to use at work. He said other employees had asked why I get to sit and he "didn't feel comfortable answering that" despite having my explicit permission to do so, hence the chair revoke. Also starting the next day (which was yesterday) I was moved to the back, to do auditorium checks, which means walking back and forth across the entire building. I used to do auditorium checks but they moved me off of that role because I fell down the stairs too many times because I have trouble walking and am not allowed to use my cane. We do have a box office, where the people are allowed to sit, but they refuse to let me work that because our location has a "tradition" that you have to work at concessions before you can sell tickets, despite other locations in town not doing this.

All of the coworkers who saw me being checks seemed concerned for me which is nice I guess? But the manager said that if my disabilities are as bad as I say, then he'll have to talk to corporate and see what they say. Which I'm dreading, because the reason I didn't bring in a doctor's note to be able to sit is because several years ago, I had a doctor's note for what amounted to transition lenses just to be safe, and it was rejected and the GM (who just left last month) told me that if I bring in any more notes, I should look for another job. I know I actually submitted about it the day that it happened, though she now denies saying it.

It's not like sitting stops me from doing my job. I still have to stand up to help customers, and literally everywhere who works here, including the manager that I had this conversion with, will admit that I'm the best ticket taker by far. Bringing it back to Rage Man, I know full well that pretty much all of the new hires (who would be the ones asking about the chair) would have just let the guy do whatever he wanted, if they even noticed what the problems were, because I've seen them do it. I'm literally the only floorstaff who actually remembers all the rules for entry, let alone enforce them, and some of the managers can't even do that (and other managers have to correct them).

(Also if anyone is wondering, I did apply for other jobs so I can get the fuck out, but I haven't had any luck. Most employers don't want a person with mobility aids. Also, I didn't use my cane when I started working at my job because that was almost seven years ago and my mobility has gotten worse with time. Probably at least in part due to all the walking, climbing stairs, and falling down stairs. But I've been using my cane everywhere I go except while on the clock for at least 4 years, and I've been allowed to sit for over a year, so it's not like this is a new thing)

Also sorry for the entire fucking novel but this weekend has been A Lot.

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

soft limit

Tony Stark x Reader

Prompt: “my butt is not a drum, dude!”

Summary: during a booze-fueled debrief of your latest break up, tony offers a proposition that tests your firmly set limits.

Warnings: smut, adult language, vaginal sex, alcohol (possible dub!con), dom/sub vibes without the titles, spanking.

Word Count: 3,202

Got a Request? Prompt list for: tony | clint | quill

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You grimaced at the burn of the alcohol as you threw back your shot, setting the glass down on the bar’s countertop. You shrugged a shoulder, grabbing the nearest bottle and pouring yourself another drink. “I’m sorry! It’s just never interested me before.”

“And that was the reason to end a three-month relationship?” Tony asked, a brow arching snidely as he finished his own drink. He was far more discerning in picking his next one, selecting a bottle of Macallan from the shelf above you.

“Two and a half.” you corrected, taking another drink. You smiled as he refilled your glass with tequila. “And since when do you have such an issue with short-term relationships?”

He shrugged, smirking at you from over the rim of his glass.

“Besides,” you continued. “It speaks to a larger issue. We weren’t compatible.”

“You know what I love about you?” he said with a smile, stealing a wedge of lime and sucking on it. “You’re the only person I know who starts sounding more formal when they’re drunk.”

“Blow me, Stark.”

“That’s my girl.”

You rolled your eyes at him, licking salt off the tip of your finger. “You know, I don’t even know why I told you any of this.”

“Please, when have you ever been able to say no to me?”

“You want an exact number, or should I just round to the nearest ten?”

His smile widened. “Or maybe it’s because I’m the one supplying you with all this top shelf booze.”

You pointed a finger at him, taking another shot. “That’s a very good point.”

“I’ve been known to make them every now and again.” he took a sip of his drink, leaning on his elbows on the counter, bringing his face closer to yours. While he hadn’t had quite as much alcohol as you had, you could see in his eyes that the booze was beginning to affect him. “Seriously, though. You didn’t even try it before you broke the poor guy’s heart?”

You gave him a pointedly tired look. “Two and half months, Tony. He was hardly in love with me.”

“You’re dodging the question.”

You sighed. “No, I’ve never tried it. But I’ve never tried skydiving without a parachute either and I’m pretty sure I’d hate that.”

“First of all, you did that on that mission in Bosnia last month.”

“Fair point,” you admitted. “But it still doesn’t mean that I’d like being spanked.”

Tony’s lips twitched upward. “Why are you so against it?”

“Because my butt is not a drum, dude!” you exclaimed, ignoring his answering snicker. “And it’s…. it’s, I don’t know, infantilizing.”

Tony rolled his eyes, straightened and finished his drink before walking around to your side of the bar. He took hold of your hand, pulling you off of your stool. You stumbled slightly as he did, your other hand catching the bar to steady yourself. You raised a brow suspiciously but didn’t argue, scooping up your drink and letting him drag you to the couch on the other side of the room.

“As much as I’m enjoying your very clinical opinions on the matter, Doc, I really don’t think you get the point.” He released your hand and took a seat in the middle of the couch, legs spread comfortably, and his posture relaxed. He patted his thighs with both hands, fixing you with an almost cocky, slightly drunken smirk. “C’mon.”

You scoffed a laugh even as you felt heat rise in your neck. “You’ve got to be kidding, Tony.”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“With my life? Absolutely.” you replied without hesitation. “With whatever you’ve got planned on that couch? Not at all.”

“You’re a psychologist, aren’t you?” he replied teasingly, holding a hand out to you again. “Call it a study in sexual psychology.”

“You’re a pervert,” you sighed, almost amused, raising your gaze to the ceiling as he chuckled. He watched as you downed your shot, tossing the empty glass aside and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as it bounced unharmed on the carpet. You took his hand and his smile widened; you avoided his eye pointedly as he guided you to straddle his lap. “Happy now?”

“Starting to be.”

Tony’s hands alighted on your thighs, just above your knees, smoothing over the thin material of your stockings. His thumb slipped just under the hem of your skirt, and you felt a shiver run up your spine despite yourself. Why the hell did you wear a skirt today?

You could feel the warmth of him against your thighs, the roughness of his jeans against the silky fabric over your legs; it was like it was heightening the already overwhelming sensation of having Tony between your thighs. He rubbed the hem of your skirt between his fingers.

“Have I told you how much I like this little outfit you’re wearing?”

“No, but if you’re not careful, I’ll find out just how much.”

He snickered, his tongue touching his bottom lip for a second.

Fuck.

You folded your arms over your chest, meeting his eye with forced impatience. “So?”

“So…?”

“So? Why exactly am I on your lap?” you asked as Tony’s fingers hooked around the back of your bent knees. Your surprise caught in your throat as he tugged you closer, sliding you against his lap. You felt heat rising in your face as you steadied yourself, your hands landing on his chest.

“Honestly? Just wanted to see if you’d do it.”

You smacked him in the chest, a little harder than necessary. He laughed aloud, rubbing the spot you’d hit, your breath shaking as his other hand trailed further up the side of your thigh. “Tony…”

“Relax,” he murmured, a small smirk playing on his lips. He reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You swallowed. Maybe it was the shots, but even as some part of you shouted at you that this was a bad idea, his touch, his gaze held your body in place. The hand still on your leg moved higher, his other coming down to take a gentle hold of your waist, his thumb brushing against your ribs. “I got you.”

You smiled despite yourself, teeth catching the inside of your bottom lip. “Maybe that’s exactly what’s got me so nervous.”

“So, I make you nervous, huh?”

You rolled your eyes at him, and his smile widened.

“Have you really never thought about it?” his voice dropped lower, more intimate, and his hand moved from your thigh to ghost the back of his fingers down the length of your arm. His other hand tightened ever so slightly on your waist for a moment before slipping down to your hip. His fingertips found the sliver of bare skin above the waistband of your skirt, and it was like his touch was burning your skin.

You wet your lips nervously at the change in his tone, your breath coming to you shakily. Your head was spinning slightly, and Tony was so close, the feel of him against your thighs, between them, his face only inches from your own. He leaned up towards you, lips parting, his hands moving slowly. They slid at a torturous pace around to your ass, and you could feel the waistband of your stockings rolling down over your hips under your skirt from the way you were sitting. He squeezed your ass lightly, guiding your hips to roll, just once, against him. Your breath caught, your hands curling in his shirt. Tony’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment, his jaw ticking, before he met your gaze again.

“Not once? Late at night… between the sheets?”

You had to find your voice, eyes falling to his lips. “Thought about…?”

Him? Having Tony Stark like this, between your legs? Having him thrust up into you, his hands gripping at your thighs, his mouth on your throat? Moaning his name and hearing him grunt yours through gritted teeth, his voice hoarse and desperate and filled with the need for more as his cock filled you?

“About how it feels,” Tony whispered, his nose grazing along the curve of your jaw. You tilted your head to the side, eyes closing and a sigh on your lips. His voice was like warm caramel in your ear. “That contrast between pleasure and pain…”

You shook your head wordlessly, fingers tightening on his shirt.

He smiled, leaning up towards you. The tip of his nose bumped against yours, his lips a mere breath away from your own. You could almost feel them brush against yours as he spoke, and you felt the apex of your thighs tingle.

“Want to find out?”

Tony’s lips met yours with a surprising hunger, his kiss a heady mix of tongue and the graze of teeth that spoke of desperation and lust. Your hands tightened in his shirt, so hard you heard a tear, and you could feel his answering smirk against your lips.

You melted into his touch despite yourself, body arching into his as you released his shirt and instead took hold of his face, fingers sliding into his hair, holding him to you. His breath was hot against your face, the two of you barely parting more than an inch to steal a breath before his lips were on yours again, and you were swallowing his groan as your hips rolled against him once more

Your stockings were rolling down further, bunching under the curve of your ass, creating an extra line of friction between the two of you. Tony’s hands bunched in your skirt as he kissed you, the hem of it whispering against your skin as he pulled it higher. His fingers grazed the bare skin exposed, his thumbs hooking briefly under the elastic of your underwear.

Tony kissed with his whole body; he leaned into you, his jaw tight and his arms banded around you, his torso flush against your own. His hands tightened incrementally, encouraging you to continue your slow grind over his lap.

You whimpered as you felt the length of him slowly harden between your thighs, didn’t protest when he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and slowly drew them down to bunch alongside your stockings.

You knew you were steadily approaching the point of no return in your friendship with Tony Stark, but when he moaned into your mouth, needy and wanting, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He felt so good, sounded so good... tasted of whiskey and sin.

SMACK.

“Fuck, Tony!” you yelped, jerking against him at the sudden sting against your ass. Tony broke away from your lips with a snicker, his head falling against your shoulder. The way you jumped sent your hips sliding against him in a way that you could feel his erection slide against your cunt, and you moaned aloud. The contrast between that sharp snap of pain that still lingered like a heat in your skin and the jolt of pleasure that ran up your spine made your whole body tingle, your eyes rolling back as Tony massaged his hand over the mark he’d undoubtedly left behind.

“Thoughts, Doctor?” he murmured, teeth catching his bottom lip. His smile widened as you reached for his belt buckle, and he brought his other hand down on the opposite cheek, equally hard. You rewarded this time with a light, needy moan, fingers faltering against the leather of his belt. “Any findings you’d like to share?”

“Bite me, Stark.” you replied without any venom to your voice, pulling his shirt off over his head and throwing it aside.

“Now there’s an idea,” he growled with a grin, one hand leaving your ass and instead fisting in your hair to pull you into another fiery kiss. You unfastened his belt and pants, and Tony broke the kiss, breathing a curse against your chin as you slipped your hand inside and slid it over his cock. He was hard and thick in your hand, and you felt him twitch under your palm, his lips ghosting almost absent-minded kisses over the edge of your jaw.

You gasped, hand squeezing him as he suddenly sunk his teeth into the side of your throat. He lathed his tongue over the mark he left behind, his mouth moving to speak teasingly in your ear. His tone was rougher than before, threaded with his own desire.

“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart.” he murmured, teeth catching your earlobe for a second. You whimpered; your hand still wrapped around his cock. You stroked him steadily, hoping to bring the same sense of desperation out of him that he was finding in you. “Are you starting to understand?”

“You talk too much.” you pulled his mouth back to yours fiercely, tongue pushing into his mouth. Tony grinned into the kiss, taking a tight hold of your hips and lifting you long enough to guide you over his cock. You moaned as he lowered you onto it, clutching at his shoulders as he filled you.

Tony’s head fell back for a moment as he adjusted to the feeling of you around him before pressing his forehead against your own, cursing under his breath as you began to grind against him again. Each rise and fall over his lap had his cock sliding against the silky material of your stockings, and his hands tightened painfully on your waist. “Fuck, sweetheart…”

He brought his hand down on your ass again, harder than before, and you jerked against him, teeth buried in your bottom lip as your clit brushed against his hip bone. Your voice came high-pitched and broken, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Tony—”

“Sexiest… sweetest… fucking sounds…” he reiterated, smoothing his hand over your ass and up to the small of your back. He slid his hand under your shirt, fingertips tickling along your back. Compared to the heated sting still radiating through your backside it was a whisper, and shivers danced along your spine. “Absolutely gorgeous…”

He pulled your shirt off over your head, his hands ghosting up over your ribs before he cupped your breasts, pinching your nipples through the lace. His mouth fell to your collarbone, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your chest as you fucked him. You could feel the familiar tingling settling into the small of your back, the muscles in your legs tightening as your orgasm crested, and you came with a moan.

“Fuck, that might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Tony murmured, smoothing his hand over the side of your face. His other hand urged you off of his lap, and you let him guide you to kneel, your front pressed against the back of the couch and your knees spread as wide as the stockings still wrapped around your thighs would allow. He lifted your skirt, giving your ass another, almost playful, swat as he moved to kneel behind you, his lips on your shoulder as he unclipped your bra. You let it fall from your arms and tossed it aside, quivering as you felt him run a couple of fingers almost idly over your ass, tracing the mark he’d left behind. “And look how pretty and pink you get…”

Your moan caught in your throat as Tony thrust hard into you, his chest flush against your back. Your fingers curled against the top of the couch, grasping at the fabric as Tony pulled out and pushed right back in to the hilt. He tucked your hair over one shoulder before his lips found the base of your neck, his hands wrapping around your middle.

His hand came up to clutch at your chest, your nipple hard and aching against the palm of his hand as he groped your breast roughly, his teeth making new marks against your throat. Your head fell back against his shoulder, and you could feel his smirk as you moaned in his ear when his other hand slid down between your legs to circle fingers over your clit. You reached behind you blindly, hand grasping at his thigh, his ass, back arching to press your ass back into him, urging him deeper into your eager, soaking cunt.

Sweat was clinging to your skin, your skirt bunched awkwardly between you and the stockings cutting into your thighs. Tony’s hand were rough, the words he muttered into your ear promising further sin and exalting every inch of you, his voice tight and gruff and breaking as every thrust of his hips brought him closer to climax. He murmured praise in your ear when you came again, and you whined, thrilled as he whispered, “Good girl.”

It wasn’t until you arched your neck back and turned your head to capture his mouth in another torrid kiss that his hips finally lost their rhythm and he thrust into you in one hard, definite stroke and came, his hand quickening on your clit. You bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as another orgasm rushed through you, and Tony pulled out of you, urging you to turn to kiss him more fully.

You could feel his cum dripping down your thighs as your legs tangled with his, your arms wrapping around his neck. He took a gentler hold of your waist, his thumbs brushing over your ribs. He pushed you carefully back against the couch, laying you out against the cushions, his body stretched out on his side, tucked between you and the back of the couch.

Tony’s hand came up to touch your cheek, and he smoothed hair away from your face almost delicately.

“So…” his playfully causal tone would have sounded convincing if he wasn’t still trying to catch his breath. He dropped another quick kiss on your lips, his hand trailing down the side of your neck. “Thoughts? Feelings?”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying in vain to hold back your smile as he grinned cockily down at you. His fingertips grazed along your chest, travelling at a glacial pace over your sternum. You could feel the fabric of the couch sticking to your sweaty skin, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Did you like it?”

“You couldn’t tell, Stark?”

He smirked, tracing a circle around your navel, his voice a teasing sing-song. “I wanna hear you say it.”

You pretended to think about it for a moment; Tony’s fingers now skimming over the top of your thigh. You nodded after a moment, giving him a friendly clap of the chest before moving to stand. “You’re right. I loved it. I should go and give him a call, see if we can—”

You laughed as Tony grabbed your arm and pulled you back down on the couch, the sound smothered as he covered your lips with his own. You continued to giggle into the kiss, breath catching slightly as you felt him tweak your nipple.

“You really think I’m going to let you go anywhere after that?” he asked, his nose brushing against yours.

“No?” you replied teasingly, a thrill already settling in the pit of your stomach.

“No.” he replied with a smile, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. “Mine now.”

.

.

.

.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays Everyone! Thanks for reading!

tags:  @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink @s0ftness @castieltrash1 @absolutly-me  @startrekkingaroundasgard @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @lol-you-thought @sebbystanlover-vk @mikariell95 @csigeoblue @abrunettefangirlnerd​ @babyblues915​ @aar-journey​ @moistpotatobear​ @capsironunderoos @bellamyblakemorley​ @diesinspanishbcimhispanic​ @sentimentalalien​ @agustdowney​ @akumune​ @xxboesefrauxx

[traumatictouch]

why tomura reads like a sexual abuse survivor

ive noticed that a lot of survivors - including me - easily read tomura as a csa survivor. ive decided to try to put these impressions into words, mostly for myself, but also for anyone curious as to why he’s so frequently read this way, or why i personally write him as such. i will mostly be elaborating on the reoccurring sexual assault imagery and csa survivor traits tomura exhibits.

triggering themes ahead, including discussed child sexual abuse, incest (sibling and pseudo), trauma and its effects, and sexual assault imagery (from the bnha manga itself). also spoilers for the most recent manga arc.

(disclaimer: i realize symptoms of trauma are pretty much common all across the board, and depression also comes with a lot of these behaviors - but there are some that crop up more commonly in cases of sexual abuse (especially from a young age) than in others. csa survivors also frequently end up with depression, too, so that doesn't necessarily take away from it.)

i’ll start with the cover above. the hands touching him here are much more expressive than the ones he usually wears. it's also framed in a way where you can't see the ends/cap things very well, and they don't appear so symmetrical, making them feel much more like real, living hands grabbing him.

there's also the fact that his face is exposed, which is something we had rarely seen him do willingly at this point in the manga, and even when he had he was still covered up with a hoodie or completely alone. the way he's covering half his face gives off the impression that he's not okay with the way he's exposed.

all of that, plus the obvious distress tomura is in, gives this very glaring assault vibes.

also, the hands on his head are clearly someone's actual, living hands as well. my guess is afo, especially since they seem to be petting him, which is reoccurring imagery between tomura and afo.

tomura's total lack of privacy

there's a clear lack of boundaries between tomura and the adults in his life. most of the spaces that seem to belong to tomura (the bar - he feels safe enough there to take Father off, and his room) are accompanied by cameras and audio transmissions from afo. he has no privacy, and doesn't even seem bothered by this fact.

he also doesn't seem to set boundaries with other people in general. toga can hold a knife to his neck, spinner can grab him and yell in his face, the doctor can shout over his earpiece, dabi (or anyone, really) can say whatever rude or callous things he wants to him… really the only time i can think of that even comes close was when mr. compress made a joke about working with overhaul and tomura said "hey, not funny."

he seems to kinda just let whatever happen to him. earlier in the series, tomura seemed to rely on kurogiri to notice when he needed space and step in for him rather than ask for it himself. that's a pretty telltale sign of someone who's had their needs and boundaries violated (or even punished) for a long time.

Tomuras over-attachment to afo and his praise/affection

obviously afo groomed tomura whether it involved sexual abuse or not, but it is something that could have easily lended itself to that as well. early in the series, tomura clearly highly valued afos opinion of him, and seemed to strive to please and repay him for his kindness. these are feelings afo incited in him on purpose and did, canonically, take advantage of to turn tomura into a villain and pawn - who's to say he didn't use it for other purposes, too?

it's also the kind of thing survivors tend to latch onto to cope with their abuse. it can be easier to think of the event as being affection, returning a favor, and/or special treatment, than to think of it as abuse. tomura looked up to afo so much that it's possible he could have considered (or been convinced) that it was special that someone as great as afo wanted to do something so intimate with him.

also, if this is really tomura realizing his sensei isn't as special and powerful as he'd been led to believe, then his reaction being to cover up while looking angry might, well… be a reaction to feeling used.

Tomura & older men

there's not a lot of people besides afo that tomura seems very quickly, openly… invested in. there are two major ones i can think of, and they are both 1. older men, and 2. mentor figures (even if not to tomura.)

the most obvious of the two is aizawa, who tomura has seemed pretty fond of since his first appearance and, even in the most recent chapters, can't seem to help but think about how cool aizawa is. aizawa isn't a mentor to tomura, obviously, but he is a teacher and tomura knows this. (and seems impressed by the way he tries to protect the students in his care--something afo very specifically does not do for tomura.)

the second, and perhaps less obvious to most, is Stain. i wrote up a whole post trying (trying.) to explain the way tomura seemed interested in him, and you can see a bit more about that and how tomura was hoping he'd be a mentor to him here.

in other words, tomura has shown reoccurring interest in older men, who are mentors, that he does not show for anyone else.

early sexual abuse can influence a person's attractions. survivors tend to be drawn to what is familiar, even if it hurt, and so it's pretty common for them to be attracted to and/or desire a relationship with those who resemble their abuser(s).

and afo is an older man who is a mentor to tomura (and others.)

immaturity (& age regression)

tomura, in early canon, is often described by characters in-universe as being childish, especially in regards to how he processes his emotions. (i don't really like to conflate these things with "age" or "being childish" - but the way the manga itself presents these qualities is clearly intended to give tomura a immature/childish vibe.)

tomura's emotional processing, simple motivations, fixation with video games, toys littering his room, and need for close caregiving (kurogiri) all give off the impression that he's had trouble developing the way he "”should”" have--kind of like he didn't really move on at all.

this sort of stunted development tends to occur in people with childhood trauma, especially csa survivors. ptsd at its core is the brain getting "stuck" in the moment of trauma, so if the trauma occurred as a child, then one's development is somewhat halted there, especially in areas of emotional processing, because the brain and body have to dedicate so much energy to just trying to cope and survive. it's pretty common for csa survivors to have trouble coping with and controlling their emotions.

relatedly: i have no real way to confirm this right now, but i’ve heard that during the mla arc, while tomura was kind of going in and out of flashbacks, he started switching to using “boku” - a self pronoun for young boys - as opposed to his usual “ore”). ive since had to wonder if this is a reoccurring state for tomura - it might partly explain why he keeps his toys around despite never showing interest in them on-screen, and has such close supervision from kurogiri.

again, age regression can go for any kind of childhood trauma, but seems very common in child sexual abuse survivors in particular.

Lack of hygiene (esp oral)

look at how tomura's teeth are drawn compared to even another villains. dabis teeth are straight and clean, whereas tomura's have holes and chips, and tend to be drawn uneven with wobbly lines, like they're covered in plaque.

not caring for one's hygiene is common for people with depression too - but failure to care for teeth also frequently crops up in survivors of sexual abuse, due to an aversion to things touching or being inside their mouth, because it can remind them of the abuse.

in a similar vein, tomura's hair looks unwashed and greasy to me, especially when it gets long. it sort of gathers in clumps and appears heavy. survivors may avoid taking showers because they aren't comfortable removing their clothes for long periods of time, or because the abuse occurred in proximity to bathing. (which is a convenient time for parental figures to groom and abuse their children, since it already involves them being naked and the parent touching them closely.)

in general, there just seems to be something off about tomura's relationship with his body. maybe it's the way he barely bats an eye at major injuries, doesn't care for his hygiene, self-injures, and didn't mind undergoing a surgery that altered its shape and function pretty heavily--but i get the impression that tomura sees his body as just a tool more than anything.

which, if someone grew up having their body regarded as nothing but a means of pleasure, kind of makes sense.

his clothing

im not sure if this has the same “connotations” (for lack of a better word) for flat chested people, but tomura always wearing a lowcut shirt that shows off a fair amount of his chest, but covering the rest of himself head to toe--including his face--feels significant to me. as well as the way he covers up even more (his hoodie) when he’s stressed. the hands, too--being covered up seems to be calming for him.

the placement of the hands afo gave him

you can't tell me little tenko placed these hands where they are by himself. the ones on his chest aren’t even from his family or meant to resemble them - they’re additional hands afo gave him to wear. pretty weird place for “afo”’s hands to go...

I feel like theres a little bit something to tomura frequently having his clothes ripped off during fights

not that it's particularly uncommon for bnha characters to get their clothes a bit shredded during fights, but i can't help but feel like there's something to tomura getting torn down to nothing but his pants twice, with both battles heavily involving tomura's traumas, including the ones related to afo. the vs mla arc with how tomura met afo and how he turned him into what he is today, then the war arc where the methods afo used to control and abuse tomura (the hands) are brought back again--and afo repeatedly takes tomura's bodily autonomy away from him.

AFO's predatory behaviors

tomuras own behavior aside, All For One himself has some behaviors and imagery that gives off very predatory vibes. i’ll start with Ragdoll…

most people theorize that she was going to be turned into a nomu, but there are two important things here. ragdoll was found 1. alive, and 2. naked. all nomu are made from corpses - if afo had time to take her quirk and undress her, he certainly had time to kill her, especially since three days had passed since she was kidnapped. (and, what benefit would there be to making a nomu out of a quirkless hero?)

her dazed state is also curious - we've never been told taking or giving quirks has a side effect like this, and i would think itd at least wear off after three days…

there's also not actually a lot to suggest she was submerged in one of the tanks (that i know of); in the full body image, she doesn't seem to be soaking wet or anything. there's no water dripping off her. there's just a bit of liquid on her face and neck, which could merely be sweat, or… other fluids.

this next part is more debatable due to it being more dubiously canon (although My Hero: One’s Justice has been known to basically spoil villain related lore before it appears in the manga) - but he has some dialogue that makes him sound... pretty fuckin enthusiastic about sexual violence.

and time and time again, afo has been... very creepy and obsessive about his brother. who happens to look an awful lot like tomura, and is vaguely connected to nana as a user of OFA, and we know how far afo would go to spite both of them.

The "wow this is pretty much confirmed now" page

i always thought i was just projecting when i read tomura as a csa survivor - until i saw this page, which was so viscerally uncomfortable that it made me nauseous. it definitely made me decide i wasn't just reading into things that weren't there. that's not exactly to say this panel 100% confirmed it (though it certainly did in my mind, personally) -- but the imagery here can't not be deliberate.

tomura is literally shirtless and bent over before afo, and sure, afos not completely standing behind him, but that's partially because his lower half is inside of tomura. and from our previous example of afo taking over tomura's body…

i wish i could find the translation i first saw - this is the viz translation, which is notoriously horrible - but the one i read felt much more along the lines of "i saved you, so i get to do what i want with your body."

that is a line of logic that could have EASILY applied to their earlier relationship. the way afo saved tenko was very much on the forefront of tomura's mind early in the series, possibly either an idea he clung onto to justify the abuse he experienced from afo, or something afo personally reminded him of frequently.

also… part of afos body is definitely wrapped around tomura's upper thigh, and in certain panels seems to be emanating from between his legs.

speaking of, tomura's stance is also notable to me. compared to the panel where tomura first realized afo was taking control of him, where his knees are pretty straight on or outwards in a powerful balanced brace, in these panels his knees seem to be bending in towards his body, like he wants to squeeze his legs shut. huh.

i touched on this before, but it's interesting to me that what finally let afo fully take control of tomura's body, was having a hand (one afo very specifically used to control and abuse tomura into doing what he wanted) placed upon his body without permission.

so, all in all, afo is "inside" tomura's body, using it for his own means, against tomura's wishes.

what else does that sound like? no wonder deku feels like tomura needs help, despite everything...

again, this isn't to say that csa is definitely the cause of these things, just that tomura does have an abundance of behaviors and imagery that could easily be read that way.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under The Floorboards pt. IIII

(Technoblade X Reader): Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V

Whipping the sweat off your brow you placed the honey jars you collected on the ground, Phil really built this farm efficiently. However, that didn’t stop you needing to collect honey pots here and there, now that the vault was complete you could actually use the honey for normal things. Technoblade would never admit it but he loved when you put honey in his tea, contrary to popular belief he wasn’t a fan of plain black tea or coffee. You rolled up your sleeves and adjusted the sunhat that sat lazily on your head against your better judgment you had left your armor inside. The only thing on your person was a netherite ax Techno had enchanted for you, it was an effective weapon but without your armor, you were a bit of a sitting duck. As the bees buzzed and bumped lazily into each other, you couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sight. They were just so silly. You picked up the crate of jars and turned around, your eyes narrowed as you saw some movement by the trees, it was still too early for Tommy and Technoblade to be back...so just who was snooping around the property. You felt very naked in your sun hat and overalls, especially if it was Dream himself that you were about to encounter. Your worry only increased as you noticed four men all in netherite armor walking towards the house, their swords were drawn. You had a feeling that these were the men who took Technoblade the day prior. They were like a little gang all dressed the same way, bloody aprons and all they really had the executioner vibes down. 

    “Hello, gentlemen.” You smiled giving them a wave while you adjusted the box of honey, “beautiful day isn’t it?” 

The first to answer was a man who had a scar from the tip of his eyebrow down to the bottom of his lip. He sent you a smile and you noticed a tooth missing from the upper row, a navy blue beanie held his dark hair in place. 

    “Very beautiful, it’s always a good day when the sun is shining.” He mused the sun in question reflected beautifully across all their netherite armor. The one thing you decided to leave inside, you weren’t intimidated nope not at all. “What’s your name sweetheart?”

    “(Y/N).” You responded with a hum, “Is there something that I can help you all with today?” Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed two of the men moved to surround you, they thought they were slick. The only one who didn’t move was the tallest of the children there, he looked to be half Enderman. He also looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was right now poor thing. Drawing your gaze back to the other three men, you noticed one was Tommy’s age and had small horns atop his head, along with goat-like ears. A burn scar also took up half of his face. It made you frown distastefully, what was with these kids getting traumatized? First Tommy and now the half enderman and the goat kid, you couldn’t adopt all of them, well you could but it’d be a lot of work. The other looked to be part fox after all the big orange ears and the fluffy tail was dead give away, wait didn’t Ghostbur say his son was a fox. “Are you Fundy?” You asked, suddenly tilting your head to the side.

    “How do you know my name?” Fundy’s face flushed a little and he shuffled on his feet, his hand twitching to grab the sword that was at his side. 

    “I talked to your father earlier today. I’m assuming that’s how you found me?” You took the hat off your head and rested it on Carl’s stable. The fox gave a reluctant nod of confirmation you licked your lips and put your hands behind your back. “So? Do you have a problem with Technoblade or just me specifically?”

    “Wow, she’s not even a little bit ashamed.” Quackity mused and you frowned, “We’re here because your boyfriend blew up our country. He also disgraced our President right Tubbo? Don’t know if you’re aware of that or not but he escaped his punishment. So we intend to make him repent.” He walked towards you and you took a step away from him. 

    “That’s far enough thank you.” You held up your hand in hopes it would stop his trek towards you, Quackity did pause for a moment. He let out a chuckle and smiled. He thought your tough attitude was cute, but he was clearly mocking you. 

Jackass. 

    “Quackity maybe we should leave her be...she didn’t do anything.” The young goat kid murmured his ears flicking as he looked up at you. 

    “Quiet Tubbo. Let the adults speak,” Quackity snapped at him before clearing his throat and looking back at you. “Listen (Y/N) was it? We’re going to have to ask that you come with us. If you don’t we’ll have to take you by force.”

    “Wait, couldn't Technoblade have trained her?” The half enderman spoke holding up his finger in the air but no one seemed to pay him any attention. 

    “I guess force it is. Although the fight is a little unfair.” You took out your ax and twirled it in your hand, “Something tells me you don’t exactly like fair fights.” Fundy took a hesitant step backward not really wanting to lose a life for this of all things, but he pulled out his sword just in case. Clicking your tongue in distaste you sent a bloodthirsty smile their way, one that rivaled Technoblade, “Come at me.” 

Without hesitation, Quackity charged at you with his sword he didn’t aim to kill, just disarm or injure. You blocked the swing with the wooden part of your ax and spun around just in time to dodge an attack from Tubbo. You managed to elbow him in the back and he stumbled forward into Quackity, the man made a grunting sound before shoving Tubbo off of him and into the snow. Fundy moved next and managed to land a hit on the side of your arm, you hissed loudly glaring daggers at the fox. His ears pressed against his head and he let out a small whimper, “sorry!”

    “Don’t apologize to her!” Quackity groaned, “You guys are the worst gang ever.” He slapped his forehead as you readjusted your posture, “I have to do everything myself.” Quackity snarled charging at you again you sidestepped out of the way. As he stumbled trying to regain himself he knocked over the honey pots and they shattered against the ground. You swung your ax and managed to land a hit on him in the back of the legs, he let out a strangled yelp and fell on his face into the snow like Tubbo had done earlier. Yanking out the ax out of the leader of the gang blood splattered all over the ground and stained the snow. Little red beads dripped off the ax as you held it by your side, the man only let out another scream as it was torn out of him. 

    “Back. Off.” You repeated again baring your teeth with a hiss, “Turn around and go back to L’manburg and I won’t kill you. Got it.”  The ax was pointed at all of them, you saw the half enderman nod vigorously, 

    “Yes ma’am.” He nodded rapidly grabbing Tubbo and Fundy by the arm and pulled them back, the three of them watched as Quackity snarled and backed up to join them. You watched them cower and you dropped your ax on the ground so you could press the palm of your hand into the wound on your arm. You quickly turned and ran back into your home to collect bandages and fix yourself up, blood speckled the floor as you made your way into the bathroom. You tore off your overalls and shirt, washing out the wound before wrapping your arm in bandages. You didn’t know how long you stood there in front of the mirror but you looked worse for wear. 

Technoblade was going to lose his shit.

---

All Technoblade could think about on their way back to his retirement home, was you. He could only put up with Tommy for so many hours until he needed to talk to literally anyone else. He was ready to get your relaxing date night underway; he could already feel your fingers running through his hair braiding his as you went. He hummed fondly listening as the voices called him simp repeatedly, he didn’t mind this time considering he was when it came to you. 

    “That’s still cringe chat.” He murmured to himself as Tommy continued to scream about something in the background, “Yeah, yeah I love her.” He heard the chat flip their shit and he fondly chuckled, intermixed with their happy cries there was a distinct sound of ‘E’ as well as ‘nerd.’ He almost didn’t hear Tommy’s worried shouting. He frowned and rolled his eyes back into his skull, 

    “What Tommy?” 

    “Technoblade! Technoblade!” The teen bumped back into him, Technoblade grunted and looked down at him. He followed Tommy’s eyes and spotted the blood littered snow outside his house. Technoblade paused and his vision went red around the edges, his eyes stayed trained on the bloodstains as the voices began to roar within his skull. His head shot up and he saw the honey box spilled over on the ground, glass littered the snow, your hat hanging loosely on Carl’s old stable. 

     “T-Technoblade.” Tommy stuttered again looking up at the pig-man, seeing how glazed over his eyes looked. He swore steam was coming out of Technoblade’s nose and his hand drew out his pickaxe gripping it so tight his knuckles turned white. He felt his tusks grow in size and his face began to shift into his pig form. Tommy’s voice was drowned out by the flood that was the voices in his head: 

‘SHE’S GONE. THEY HAVE HER. KILL THEM ALL. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. WE DEMAND BLOOD. E. SAVE HER. YOU’RE A FAILURE. YOU DIDN’T PROTECT HER. SLAUGHTER ALL OF THEM. SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. SHE NEVER HURT ANYBODY. YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD.’ 

Technoblade took a step forward to which Tommy rapidly backed up in response. He’s never seen Techno this gone before, oh shit he has it bad for (Y/N). However, Tommy didn’t make a move to stop Technoblade; he didn’t want him to release that rage on him. Technoblade walked into the house, stepping on his glasses that fell off his face. He threw his door open with a loud slam, he needed potions and he needed a new sword. 

Whoever did this all their cannon lives were gone he’d make it long and torturous.

A soft voice broke him out of his stupor his entire body went rigid. 

    “Bubs…” He slowly turned around and came face to face with you, you looked so small, so delicate standing in the doorway. You were wearing your pajamas, soft blue with little sheep all over them. His ears twitched and his shoulders softened considerably seeing you standing safe in the doorway, however, he tensed again the minute he saw the bandages tied around your arm. Blood leaking through them, he growled eyes locking in on the spot as you made soft shushing sounds at him. 

‘SHE’S HURT. SHE’S ALIVE THOUGH. BUT SHE’S HURT, THEY NEED TO PAY. ATONE FOR WHAT THEY DID TO HER. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SPILL THEIR BLOOD THEN MAKE OUT WITH HER. SHE’LL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU DO. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD.’

Technoblade jumped feeling her hand caress his cheek, “Bubs it’s alright I’m okay.” Your voice was smooth and soothing, his eyes dilated as you spoke to him. His face shifting back to normal as he breathed heavily through his nose, “See?” You brought his head down to rest against your chest, it looked uncomfortable the way that he was bending. However, he could feel your heart beating in your chest, he made a soft whimper and grabbed onto your shoulders his pink hair tickled your chin. You brought your hands up to run his fingers through his hair as he finally calmed down enough to ignore the voices for the time being. Right now they were just commenting on how nice and warm her hands were anyway.

    “What happened to you? There was blood everywhere I was so scared.” His voice broke a little bit as he pulled away from you. Your heart twisted painfully in your chest Technoblade had never looked so broken. 

    “The butcher squad came and attacked me. They wanted to use me to get to you but I fought them off just like you taught me.” You couldn’t help but smile proudly at him and he let out a disbelieving laugh. His hands moved from your shoulders to your back as he cradled you gently in his arms, you both stood there rocking back and forth together until Technoblade was satisfied. 

    “That’s my girl.” He finally murmured backing away from you, you flushed at the compliment. Whenever he called you that it made you flush all over, you let out a loud flustered whine and whacked him on the chest. Technoblade laughed at your flustered expression, it was a rare moment the tables were flipped like this and Technoblade was going to take full advantage of the situation. “Princess what’s with that look? Am I, thee Technoblade, making you flustered? I know I’m a lot to handle, I beat Dream once, I never die, I’m not homeless. Guess what?” 

    “What?” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle as he circles you eyeing you up and down. 

    “I’m single.” 

    “Oh really?” You cocked an eyebrow, “I thought you had a girlfriend.” You twirled your hair around your fingers and you felt his strong hands rest on your waist. 

    “Hm I don’t think so. You might need to refresh my memory,” Technoblade mused kissing your neck tenderly. 

    “Well she’s stunningly gorgeous, and tough as nails,” Your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned back against him. “She absolutely adores you and how protective you are of her, and how much of a gentle giant you are.” He made a noise of protest and rested his chin on the top of your head. You could tell he was pouting at you, 

    “See, not only is that super cringe but also factually incorrect. I am not a gentle giant, I just committed vast sums of minor terrorism and I also kill orphans so what would my girlfreind say to that huh?” He huffed clicking his tongue distastefully. 

    “She would say that you’re right but also she sees the way you take care of Carl, and how you put up with Tommy. You’re totally brothers. That makes you at least a little bit soft” 

    “Not brothers and I don’t like him.” 

    “Right sure,” You giggled a little and kissed his chin lightly. 

Technoblade let out an indignant sound before muttering, “Oh we should probably tell Tommy you aren’t kidnapped. Also discuss what to do about L’manburg now that they know you exist.” You blocked out that last part and made a beeline outside to find Tommy. The teenager in question was fumbling with his hands over by his cobblestone tower, you ran over to him and engulfed him in a hug. 

    “(Y/N)!” He shouted letting out a disbelieving laugh hugging you back with a childish smile. “You’re okay! Holy fuck I totally thought you were dead and shit! Technoblade was going fucking apeshit! His face went all pig like n’ shit totally thought he was gonna kill everyone for you! Not that I was worried.” He added quickly shoving you away crossing his arms. 

    “Of course you weren’t THE Tommy is never worried.” 

    “Yeah exactly Miss Blade you get me.” You smiled fondly at him and you ruffled his hair and he shouted at you to stop. You did so sensing Technoblade approach the both of you, Techno interlocked your hand with his own and squeezed it tightly. “You chill now Big T?” 

    “I’m always chill Tommy. Only nerds aren’t chill.” He mused with a scoff, “Hence why I always call you a nerd.” 

    “WHAT THE FUCK TECHNOBLADE! I AM ALWAYS CHILL! I’M THE CHILLEST MAN ALIVE I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW!” 

    “Stop shouting,” Technoblade groaned burying his face in your hair as you laughed fondly at their antics. Although L’manburg knew about your existence now, and although you knew Dream probably wasn’t too far behind in learning that knowledge either, you felt everything was going to be okay. 

All you needed was each other, Technoblde, Tommy, Phil and you. Together you four were gonna do great things, you just knew it.

~~~

I do plan on making another part because people seem to be enjoying this story a lot more than I originally thought when I first posted it. Which is amazing thank you for all the love and support! New stuff is also in the works, thanks again for reading and enjoying! Stay safe guys! 🥰✨

[mercy-burning]

Win Me Back

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: When Reader’s ex-boyfriend comes back to town, he finds a way to make amends— with a little help from her niece.

Category: FLUFF

Warnings: None other than a few swears :)

Word Count: 3k (I barely made the limit, folks, that was hard lol)

MASTERLIST

NOTE: This is my entry for @homoose ‘s 2k Celebration!! And if this fic seems familiar, that may be because it’s a re-telling of the car-wash scene from Ramona and Beezus 🤭😂 It’s one of my favorite movie scenes of all time, it never fails to make me squeal, and I had SO MUCH FUN writing this!

Also! I tried very hard to find the scene for you to watch incase you haven’t seen the movie, but the ones I did manage to find on YouTube cut out THE BEST PARTS, so I’m sorry 😭 But in case you want to know the ~vibes~ I tried to capture and don’t feel like watching the movie, I made THIS post last night with some dialogue/background from the scene if you’d like to read it! Obviously it’s not required since what I’ve written is quite different, but it is encouraged 😊

I hope you like it!! And if somehow you haven’t followed Moose yet, you should! She’s the sweetest ❤❤❤

***

Y/N found an abundance of upsides to taking neighborhood walks with her niece. For one thing, it gave her a distraction, something to focus on as she made sure eight-year-old Piper wouldn't wander too far from the sidewalk. She found solace in quizzing her on the multiplication table as they made their way around the block, an activity in which Piper enthusiastically flaunted her love of numbers.

It was also nice to stay outside and take in the warm sun and soft rustling of the trees, though every once in a while all of it wasn't enough to keep the memory of Spencer at bay.

After all, it was kind of hard when he was back in town, and after all these years he was reaching out to her like he hadn't broken her heart in the first place.

"You seem sad, Auntie," Piper said, grabbing Y/N's hand as the turned the corner.

Y/N swung their arms together gently, smiling down at her with a tilt of her head. "Why d'you think that, hon?"

Piper gave a little shrug, her ponytail blowing softly behind her. "You don't smile as much. And you always smile when you're with me... And you asked me the same times equation 3 times in a row just now. You're distracted."

Y/N couldn't help the breathy laugh that escaped her. You sound just like Spencer... Instead, she told her, "Aw, I'm sorry, Kiddo. My mind is just in a... confusing place right now. But I'm very happy that you got to come stay with me this weekend, you always brighten my day." She punctuated her sentence with a little boop on Piper's nose, to which she giggled and asked for another math equation.

The two of them continued around the block a few rounds, though on their fourth and final one, Y/N noticed very familiar car parked just outside her house.

Heart jumping into her throat, she stopped in her tracks, and Piper kept going only to be pulled back slightly. The girl turned to her aunt and furrowed her brow. "Auntie, why did we stop?"

"Um... I just wasn't expecting any company today besides you..."

Y/N certainly wasn't ready to discuss everything that was going on with Spencer to anyone, let alone her eight-year-old niece who wouldn't probably understand or care anyway. So she explained it the best way she could, quickly coming up with a plan to avoid him as long as possible.

"See the car parked over there?" Y/N asked, and Piper nodded. "Well, that's an... old friend of mine... And we haven't talked in a long time because we don't really get along anymore. So when we get up to the house, he might try to talk to us, and I'm going to tell him that we're busy."

"He's not mean, is he?"

Sensing Piper's reservations, Y/N reassured her while letting her own contempt for her ex fuel the conversation. "No, but... He broke my heart. And he—"

"Y/N... Hi..."

She nearly jumped, mostly from surprise, but also at the fact that hearing her name coming from his lips and his voice and just him brought back a flood of feelings she'd rather have forgotten. Still, she turned to him and cleared her throat. "Spencer... Hi."

Piper suddenly let go of Y/N's hand, a small scoff escaping her. "Oh. Spencer..."

The two adults turned to look at her with surprise, though it was Spencer who spoke up. "You... know me?"

"Mhm," Piper returned with a nod, crossing her arms. "I heard Mom and Auntie talk about you yesterday, and she says you have a stupid, beautiful face."

"Piper!" Y/N screeched, heat rising to her face. "I... You can't tell people that, I— That's not... I..."

"Oh... I'm sorry, Auntie," the little girl said quietly.

Y/N was fully prepared to dig a hole and stay buried in it forever, and her embarrassment grew even stronger when Spencer spoke up again. "It's okay," he reassured gently, a small laugh sounding from his throat that regrettably gave Y/N butterflies. "You're auntie's definitely right, I do have a stupid face."

Before Y/N could stop the conversation altogether, Piper cut in quickly, being sure to add, "And beautiful."

Spencer's eyes flicked up to Y/N, drawing her in with amusement and charm, a fact which she hated to her core. Because it was working, and that was annoying as hell. "Yep," he said, never taking his eyes off of her. "And beautiful."

And then the corner of his mouth turned up slightly, flashing her the most amused, stupidly perfect smirk.

Piper started talking again, and for the second time that day, Y/N wished she hadn't even said anything at all, keeping this whole situation to herself.

"But we can't talk to you, because you broke Auntie's heart, and we're busy. C'mon, Auntie. Let's go." Piper grabbed Y/N's hand and led her up the rest of sidewalk until they got to the driveway. And even though it might have been childish to completely ignore Spencer as they walked past, not giving him a second glance, quite frankly she was quick to abort the situation as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for her, Spencer was persistent.

They were almost to the steps up to the door when he called out. "Piper! Can I ask you something?"

The little girl turned around, losing grip of Y/N's hand and greeting his gaze without batting an eye. "Sure."

Damn kids and their willingness to be nice to strangers, Y/N grumbled in her head.

"I know... your auntie is an important person to you, right?" Spencer inquired, walking up the driveway with his hands in his front pockets. Y/N swallowed, most certainly not noticing how the sun perfectly highlighted him in a glow that made him look more beautiful than stupid.

Piper nodded.

"Well... She's important to me, too. And I really hurt her feelings, but I want to make it up to her. Would you be kind enough to let me try?"

Damn him, Y/N grumbled yet again. Damn him, damn him, damn him to hell... Why was he so charming?

He'd always known that kids were a soft spot for her, and when they'd dated, they talked a lot about having some of their own  one day. Every time they took a walk in the park and they passed a kid, they always gravitated to Spencer, giving him the biggest smiles, and in turn he would give them a high five or perform a little magic trick to make them smile even wider. And Y/N melted into a damn puddle every time.

He knew exactly what he was doing, using Piper as a means to win her back, but even still, she knew that because of his gentle nature, most of it was... well, nature. Deep down, as much as she hated to admit it, she knew that he was a kind person. They may have ended things on bad terms, sure, and Y/N could pretend he was cruel all she wanted— The truth was that no matter how their relationship ended, he was a good man at heart.

And that's why it hurt so much.

Y/N thought for sure Piper would fall into his web, but she was pleasantly surprised when the girl responded with, "I don't know... I don't know if I trust you yet."

You and me both, Kiddo, Y/N thought to herself.

Spencer laughed again. "That's fair. Look, you can say no, but... How about I give you something in return?"

"Spencer, that's no—"

Piper crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, interrupting Y/N before she could finish protesting. "How much we talking?"

"Piper!"

"Well, I was going to offer to show you a magic trick, but I suppose I could work you a deal... I only have a hundred bucks on me, would that be enough?"

Sure enough, Spencer pulled a one-hundred dollar bill from his pocket, and the young girl's eyes went wide. Y/N's did, too, but more likely than not it wasn't a means of excitement.

"You have yourself a deal!" Piper squealed with a jump. She ran over to take the money, meanwhile Spencer looked up at Y/N with a smile.

She didn't return it.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" he asked softly. Kindly.

"Well, I'm babysitting Piper today, so you'll have to come back another time," she returned a little coldly, hoping that she and Piper had just scored a free Benjamin to pig out on ice cream while Spencer was left waiting forever for a conversation that was never going to happen.

Funny how eight-year-olds always had a way of making things more difficult for you.

"Auntie, Spencer and I made a deal. He gave me money, and now he has to make it up to you. Remember?"

Y/N groaned. "Yeah, yeah, I remember..."

"Well, how about I... take you guys out for lunch? My treat? If it's alright, we can go to McDonald's..."

"The one with the play place?" Piper gasped, immediately turning to Y/N. "Oh, Auntie, please can we go? Please, please, please?"

She looked up at Spencer, shaking her head in exasperation as he smiled at her, those sparkling honey eyes reeling her in whether she wanted them to or not. Then she turned to Piper and sighed.

"How fast do you think you can eat?"

***

Y/N was surprised Spencer didn't try to talk to her more on the drive over. Though, Piper did most of the talking, telling Spencer about how much she loved numbers and math, and he even quizzed her on some multiplication equations on the way.

If she wasn't so annoyed with him, Y/N would have melted completely.

It was the getting into the restaurant that worried her the most, though. She knew that once Piper ran off to play while they waited for their food, he would spend whatever short amount of time he had trying to win her back. And she was afraid of two things, mostly that she would end up crying in the restaurant, making a scene and wishing she'd never agreed to go, no matter how heart-broken Piper might have been. But there was also a small part of her, nestled deep into her heart, that was afraid she'd fall for him all over again.

He certainly made falling easy.

When the three of them stepped into the restaurant, it was easy to see how excited Piper was to be there. She gently tugged on Y/N's sleeve before looking up at her. "Nuggets, fries, and Sprite?"

"Apples, too, and you've got yourself a deal," Y/N said.

Piper nodded, not really caring but eager to go and play. So she sighed and nodded, leaving her with a, "Be careful!" as she saw the girl quick-walk over to the play area. There was a decent crowd that day, but thankfully no one in the restaurant seemed to have any grievances or knacks for trouble.

Spencer on the other hand... Y/N scoffed to herself, thinking how he was the most troublesome person in the area.

He proved her point by nudging her with his elbow. "She's a fun one."

"Yeah, she's somethin' alright," Y/N grumbled. "I can't believe you bribed her just to talk to me... If I didn't know better, I'd have thought you were being romantic. But I do know better, and you're just stubborn."

Spencer laughed, but she refused to look at him. "Aw, come on, give me some credit. You know I can be a little of both."

This time Y/N did look at him, squinting in a glare, like she was contemplating. "Eh... five to ninety-five. Leaning in favor of stubborn, of course."

"Obviously." The amusement in his voice made her hate his stupid, beautiful face even more than usual.

Thankfully he kept the conversation short after that, at least until they ordered. Since it was Spencer's treat, she milked his wallet for as much as she could afford to on fast-food. She ordered a large chocolate milkshake and enough food for her and Piper to share for dinner later— and probably lunch the next day, too. The amused chuckle Spencer let out as she was ordering did have her believing maybe she was being a bit childish. But the longer she thought about it, the more she stood by her actions.

He did break her heart after all. The least he could do was compensate through chicken nuggets and French fries.

The only thing she didn't count on, though, was how long it was going to take to make all her food, not to mention getting things done for other people. As she and Spencer made their way to the table, she realized she'd have to talk with him longer.

Spencer took advantage of this, naturally.

"So... How've you been?"

Y/N scoffed. "You show up out of the blue five years after you break up with me, and then have the nerve to ask me how I've been, in a McDonald's? Yeah, I've been great."

He sighed, his eyes flitting down to the table. "I know, I'm... I'm sorry. And I know I should have—"

"Spence, please don't... Look, I know... I know why we broke up, and I came to terms with the fact that your job was just to dangerous for us to be together, but... I mean, you weren't even willing to work it out, you just... ran away. That hurt."

"Y/N... I'm so, so sorry that it happened that way. I think about it almost every day and how much I wish I could have changed it..."

"But you can't change it. And now you... you show up here after all this time to—to what? Win me back? Use your kindness and your charm to reel me back in, like that'll somehow make everything better?"

He looked up at her through his eyelashes, the sight almost breaking her. "Maybe..."

"It's not that I don't appreciate the thought, Spence, because I do... I've dreamt about the day you'd come back and apologize, begging me to take you back... But I can't get hurt again. And you have to understand that."

"I do... Just..." His hands reached out across the table, gently touching hers. The feeling sparked something in her, something nostalgic and warm...

Something that felt a lot like home.

He was going to continue his speech, but a knock on the glass separating them from the playroom on the other side jolted them apart. It was Piper, a stern look on her face. "Don't try anything, Mister... You're still on thin ice."

She turned away then, running back to the slide when Spencer sighed. "I thought we had a deal."

Y/N laughed, nodding at Piper through the glass. "Even a hundred bucks and free food isn't enough to win someone's trust." Spencer looked over at her and waited, visibly swallowing. But Y/N flashed the smallest of smiles before finishing, speaking quietly, yet with all the truth and firmness in the world. "You have to work harder than that."

"Duly noted," Spencer replied, his gaze never straying from hers. "Looks like me and my stupid, beautiful face have some work to do."

Y/N rolled her eyes, leaning back in the chair as Spencer grinned like a fool... A stupid, beautiful fool. "Oh, alright... You know what... If you weren't paying for my mountains of food and giving me a ride home, that thin ice you're on would have just shattered under the weight of that comment."

"Oh, come on, it was funny."

"No, it really wasn't."

"Yeah, it was."

He stared at her, smiling until her forced frown slowly and reluctantly transformed into a smile of her own.

***

"Thank you for lunch, Spencer! And for the hundred dollars!" Piper skipped past him and up the driveway, stopping to turn and wave with her Happy Meal toy in hand. Y/N was carrying a bag of leftover food and half a milkshake, her stomach already regretting every choice she'd ever made.

"You're welcome, Piper," Spencer said, smiling at the girl. "And thank you for letting me get a chance to set things right with your auntie. You really helped me out today, I appreciate it."

"Sure thing. Just don't break her heart again, or I'll break your stupid, beautiful face. It'll turn into a stupid, ugly face then."

Y/N mentally face-palmed herself, turning to Piper and telling her to go inside and wash up. The girl gave Spencer one final wave and a smile as she did so, leaving the adults alone once again.

"Thank you..." he said quietly, shifting on his feet. "For giving me a chance. I really want to make things right with us... Make up for the way I hurt you, and... try harder. You deserve that much."

Years of heartache and trying to get over him begged Y/N not to believe it, but deep down she knew he was being truthful. He wasn't the type of guy to come around like this—especially with all the work travel he did—just to manipulate her into heartache again, with empty promises and hurtful intent.

She knew he was really willing to try to make things right, and that was a big start.

"Thank you... for saying that... And for making Piper's day. I know you didn't really mean to bribe her, but the fact that you did it anyway is absurd, so... I guess I have to give credit where credit's due."

Spencer laughed, and this time Y/N didn't hate the feeling of the butterflies in her stomach fluttering at the sound. "Well, I'm glad I could at least amuse you today. Does... this mean my romantic to stubborn ratio shifted a little bit?"

Y/N rolled her eyes affectionately, taking a sip of her milkshake. "Hmm... twenty to eighty."

"Still leaning in favor of stubborn, I suppose..."

The smile they shared in that moment felt more like the ones they used to share back then, officially kickstarting the slow, meticulous mending of their love.

"Obviously."

***

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[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[fruitcoops]

I need something to vent read. If you are up for it could you write something with Sirius freaking out because of a slammed door, loud noises and raised voices? I feel like these things would be triggering to him because when he was living with Walburga (is that spelled correctly? I have no clue) and Orion all of those things meant something bad was going to happen. If you want it to not be as angsty you could add in Remus comforting him and reminding him that he is safe. Thank you! :)

Continuing the angsty vibes, folks! This was a really interesting prompt to tackle since Sirius is so repressed and I didn’t want to romanticize past abuse at all. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for disappointed adults, guilt, past abuse (mentioned, not graphic), and a panic attack

Arthur was disappointed. Sirius hated it when Arthur was disappointed.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Arthur sighed after a moment, shaking his head. “If anyone has an explanation for that shitshow, I’d love to hear it.” A few beats of silence passed and he pressed his lips together. The guilt was eating Sirius alive. “We’re better than this. I know that, you know that, the Cup we won knows that. Do better next time.”

Be better, be better, be better. The words had been drilled into his mind since he was old enough to hold a stick and he swallowed around the dryness of his mouth. “Sorry, Coach,” James said quietly from his stall.

“I don’t need you to be sorry!” Arthur barked; Sirius’ stomach lurched. “I need you all to get your heads out of your asses and into the game! Tonight was a disgrace to everything you’ve worked hard to build. You know that, right?”

“Yes, Coach,” they muttered.

“What was that?”

“Yes, Coach,” they said again, louder.

Down the hall, a door slammed—Sirius knew it was just Moody closing up for the night, but latent fear lanced through him all the same and he gripped the edge of his seat. Deep breaths, Heather always told him. Breathing is the most important thing you can do to stay in control.

Control. He needed control. He thrived on control.

“Black!” Arthur’s voice was sharp and he winced. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes, Coach.” Sirius stood up.

“Then answer the question I just asked.”

Frantically, Sirius wracked his brain. Fuckfuckfuckfuck—nothing. He couldn’t think of anything. The alarm bells started to blare as Arthur walked to his stall, still holding onto his clipboard. “I’m sorry, Coach.”

He tapped the front of Sirius’ jersey. “Do you know why you have that badge?”

“Because—”

“Because you’re supposed to be a role model for this team. You hold them together and you lead well. I’ve seen you do it a million times.”

Finn raised his head. “Coach, this isn’t just on Cap—”

“Save it, O’Hara.” Arthur looked straight at Sirius; his eyes flickered from familiar blue to cold, furious silver faster than Sirius could register. He held his breath and prayed the hit would be light. “You disappointed me tonight, Sirius.”

There it was—the kill stroke. “I’m sorry,” he croaked around the knot in his throat. White-hot adrenaline began dripping into his veins and his breaths grew shallower. Hide it. Hide that weakness. It’s worse if you don’t. In his periphery, he saw Remus straighten up in concern.

“I don’t need your apologies.” Another door slammed. Sirius’ hands started to shake. He could smell the sickly-sweet perfume his mother loved. “I need you to step up and do your job.”

“I’m s—” Sirius bit his lip and choked the words down. Apologies never helped. He braced himself. Something crashed down the hallway and a jumble of voices echoed off the walls like wailing ghosts. The red and gold of the locker room became dark around the edges as his vision tunneled.

“You’re still not listening.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, no wonder everyone was off! I don’t talk just to hear the sound of my own voice, guys!”

“Coach, could you lower your voice a bit?” Pascal asked in an even tone, though Sirius felt his eyes on him. He kept his chin high.

“Pascal—” Arthur snapped his mouth shut and threw his clipboard down with a BANG that rattled all the way to Sirius’ core. He flinched back hard.

“Excuse me for a moment,” he said under his breath, wincing as his voice cracked. He shouldered past Arthur, feeling his chest tighten painfully on the way out.

Public bathrooms were the worst place to have a breakdown, but at least it was dark, empty, and cool enough to quell the raging heat in his head. He crumpled in the joint between a stall door and its wall, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“Come on, deep breaths,” he whispered to himself as salt tinged his lips. “Deep breaths, you can do this.”

If he squeezed his eyes shut hard enough, he could pretend that the trembling fingers combing through his hair were Remus’. That the weight against his side was Dumo, pulling him in for a hug.

“He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it.” Again and again, until his voice finally gave out into shuddering breaths.

The door creaked as it opened and Sirius held his breath, curling into a tighter ball. The lights did not turn on as soft footsteps padded on the tiles. “Sirius? Are you in here?”

His chest hitched and he leaned his head against the metal.

There was a gentle sigh and the footsteps stopped; two feet appeared in the gap. “Can you open the door, love?”

Sirius shook his head, not trusting his voice. A few seconds of silence passed.

“Alright.” Something rustled and the person sat crosslegged in front of the locked door. “What level are you at?”

“Six?” Sirius managed as more tears trickled down his cheeks.

Remus made a quiet noise of sympathy, then laid his hand palm-up on the floor. Sirius hesitated for a moment before lacing their fingers together—the comfort was instantaneous. He let out a wavering exhale as Remus covered his shaking hand with both of his own, tracing his knuckles and fingers with steady lines. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You know what happened.”

“This seems pretty severe for some yelling.”

Sirius cracked a rueful smile in the darkness. “You know me too well.”

“I know you well enough to worry.”

He sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve. God, he’d kill a man for a shower. “People were slamming doors and somebody knocked a cart over. He’s—he’s so disappointed in me, Re.”

“He’s upset with all of us,” Remus said firmly. “Every game, no matter how shitty, is a team effort. It wasn’t fair of him to yell at you.”

“I’m the captain.”

“You’re a player. Players share blame. Arthur knows that, and he shouldn’t have gone after you like that.”

I’d rather it be me than you, Sirius didn’t say. “How’d you find me?”

He felt Remus shrug and saw his sweatshirt shift. “It’s where I would go. How are you feeling now?”

Sirius closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He was still a little dizzy and more than a bit exhausted, but the alarms in his head had quieted and he could make out actual shapes in the shadows instead of just blurs. “Maybe a three? Two and a half?”

“Can you unlock the door?” He leaned up with his free hand, never letting go of Remus; the stall door opened with a creak and he shifted to lean against his shoulder, snuggling into the soft warmth. “Hey, baby.”

“I hate that this still happens.”

“You’re working on it, though.” Remus pressed his lips to Sirius’ forehead and a little part of him unraveled into a puddle of affection. “That’s progress.”

He sniffled again and tucked his arms against Remus’ chest, toying with the drawstring of his hoodie. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Remus said without hesitation, pulling him closer. The extra muscle he had put on made Sirius feel so safe, like he was in a cocoon of cuddly bliss. Nothing could touch him there. “Whenever you’re ready, Coach wanted to apologize. We can stay here as long as you want, though.”

“In a minute,” Sirius sighed, breathing in the familiar smell. “Let’s just stay here for a bit.”