#how to build iOS apps

[olivergisttv]

How to Build Apps for the Latest iOS: A Beginner’s Guide 2025

The iOS ecosystem is one of the most powerful and profitable platforms for app developers in 2025. With over two billion active Apple devices in circulation and a thriving App Store economy, there’s never been a better time to learn how to build your own iOS apps—even if you’re starting from scratch. In this beginner’s guide, I’ll walk you through the essentials of building apps for the latest…

[softvisioncorp]

How to Build a Website and Application from Scratch

In the modern digital landscape, a professionally crafted website or application is no longer a luxury—it’s a necessity for businesses, brands, and startups alike. Whether you're a solo entrepreneur or managing a growing company, understanding how to build a website and application from the ground up can empower you to bring your ideas to life and reach a wider audience.

Define Your Goals and Requirements

Before you start designing or coding anything, it's critical to clearly define your objectives:

What is the purpose of the website/app?

Who is your target audience?

What features are necessary?

Will it be a static website, dynamic platform, or full-stack web app?

Pro Tip: Create wireframes or sketches of the user interface (UI) to visualize your idea.

2) Choose the Right Tech Stack

Depending on your project, select the technologies that suit your needs. Some popular stacks include:

Frontend: HTML, CSS, JavaScript (React, Vue, Angular)

Backend: Node.js, Python (Django), PHP, Ruby on Rails

Database: MySQL, MongoDB, PostgreSQL

Mobile App: Flutter, React Native, Swift (iOS), Kotlin (Android)

Tip: For startups, using open-source tools or low-code platforms can reduce costs and time.

3) Register a Domain and Choose Hosting

Your domain name is your digital identity. Choose a name that reflects your brand, and register it through a reliable provider like GoDaddy, Namecheap, or Google Domains.

For hosting, consider:

Shared Hosting for small websites

Cloud Hosting (like AWS, Azure, DigitalOcean) for scalable applications

4) Design the User Interface (UI/UX)

An intuitive, mobile-responsive design increases user engagement and conversions. Tools like Figma, Adobe XD, or Sketch can help you prototype the layout before development.

5) Begin Development: Frontend and Backend

Start with building the frontend using frameworks like React or Vue.

Develop the backend API to handle business logic, databases, and server interactions.

Ensure proper data validation, security, and error handling.

6) Integrate Features & APIs

Add features like:

User registration/login

Contact forms

Payment gateways (Stripe, Razorpay, PayPal)

Third-party APIs (Maps, SMS, etc.)

7) Test Thoroughly Before Launch Conduct:

Unit Testing (for individual components)

Integration Testing (for connected modules)

User Acceptance Testing (UAT) to get feedback from real users

Tools: Jest, Selenium, Cypress, Postman

8) Launch and Monitor

Deploy your app/website using tools like:

CI/CD pipelines (GitHub Actions, Jenkins)

Monitoring tools (Google Analytics, Hotjar, Sentry)

Announce your launch across social media, email lists, and digital forums.

9) Market Your Product

Use SEO, content marketing, paid ads, and social media to promote your new platform. Don’t forget to collect user feedback and iterate.

Conclusion

Building a website or application Development from scratch may sound complex, but with the right plan, tools, and mindset, it becomes a structured process. Whether you choose to DIY or hire expert developers, understanding each phase helps ensure a smooth journey from idea to launch.

[ukulelekatie]

I just revived my old iPod touch that I haven’t used since ~2013 after believing it to be dead dead for years and oh my god it’s like opening up an old time capsule. There are photos of me and my friends that I haven’t seen in years, taken in an old high school building that doesn’t exist anymore. I have games that are no longer downloadable on the app store. It’s running iOS 5 with the original skeuomorphism app icons. I still have the youtube app. My contacts app is full of maiden names and deadnames. The music app has songs I haven’t heard in almost a decade but still remember all the lyrics to. A daily alarm set for 5:30 AM (god I can’t believe I had to wake up that early in high school) and another set to 11:11 PM to remind me to make a wish. Reminders to finish homework assignments, or to write my application essay for the university I ended up attending, and one marking the release date for the final episode of Cabin Pressure. The last thing I googled was “how to draw people hugging”.

Possibly the strangest thing is that the tumblr app still opens, but it’s stuck in a permanent snapshot of 2013 where it won’t show me any new posts no matter how many times I refresh. My dash is full of old BBC Sherlock posts from long-lost mutuals who have either since deactivated or got unfollowed or changed urls so many times that I don’t even recognize them. Lady Gaga and Game of Thrones are the top trends. My profile shows my previous url and icon, with only 43 followers. I feel like a time traveler

[tofupixel]

TofuPixel Links + FAQ - Commissions Open!

🌟 Building a game: @wishlings 🌠

🎨 My Portfolio

Support me: 💜 Tip Me 💜 Digital Store 💜 Print Store 💜 Game Assets 💜 Stickers + Merch

Socials: Bluesky | Cara | GameJolt | TikTok

Yes you can use / cross-stitch my work for personal use! <3

🎨 Pixel Art Beginner Guide

Hello, I'm Tofu, a pixel artist based in England. I work full-time doing pixel illustrations or game-art. I started learning in my early 20s, so no it's not too late for you!

I run a 7k+ member Discord server called Cafe Dot, where we host events like gesture drawing and portrait club.

I currently have Good Omens brainrot so expect some fanart on this blog. I also occasionally do/reblog horror art so be mindful of that!

Due to so much AI nonsense on every platform, all my public work will be filtered/edited with anti-AI scraping techniques. Supporters on my Ko-Fi can see unfiltered work and also download it.

🌸 Want to learn how to do pixel art? Check my tutorial tag!

Other tags:

tutorial (not pixel specific)

my art

follow (artists i recommend)

🌟Free Stuff!!!

❔FAQ

What app do you use? I use Aseprite on PC and occasionally Pixquare on iOS (use code tofu for 30% off Pixquare!! <3) Free alternative: Libresprite on PC

Why does your art look so crunchy / compressed? Glaze

How did you learn pixel art? I first started out watching MortMort and making tiny sprites. Then once I started getting interested in landscapes/environment art, I did many, many Studio Ghibli studies.

How can I also protect my art? You can use Glaze and Nightshade- Glaze protects against Img2Img style copying, and Nightshade poisons the data so the AI thinks it's the opposite of what it actually is. There is a lot of misinformation going around (likely from pro-AI groups) so do your own research too! If you're a pixel artist you can also tilt or blur your art after upscaling, which will make it near useless to AI models (or regular thieves) once downscaled again.

Feel free to send me an ask if there's anything you want to know! I am always happy to help beginners :--3

[hel1houndz]

Apps we use as a system !

Simply plural!

Simply plural is a great app for Systems! it allows you to track who's fronting, add more in depth information about who's fronting, Sort headmates out into groups, it also has a chat function.

Negatives: whilst it is a great app! it is more ideal for Smaller to medium sized Systems or Systems that switch solidly or for longer periods of time, as a bigger system outself, we find it quite difficult to use Sometimes, as it can be difficult for us regrading having to get up and log things.

they are also supportive of endogenic "Systems" and their resources do contain misinformation.

Octocon!

octocon is very similar to simply plural!

you can add headmates, categorise them, it also has a bit directly in discord, so it could be easier for some systems to use! It also has a diary feature! we have less to say about this as we personally don't use it, but it could be helpful for other systems!, it is currently only on andriod but will be releasing on IOS late 2024/2025

we feel that the app is quite clunky and can be difficult to use, especially if your already using apps like simply plural.

they also have a limit on how many alters profiles you can create to "limit the amount of fakers" - to specify direct quote from the official octocon server linked on there website, “the alter limit is to basically protect against ddos attacks, without the limit someone could take up an unreasonable amount of the bots resources and crash it. theres no way to go past it, and nobody so far has gotten close to going past the alter limit as far as we know.” I heard the term fakers being thrown around, I also assume that by “fakers” they mean endo “systems” but still the tone is there and it rubs me the wrong way considering systems that have high high alter counts (such as ourselfs) :)

Notion!

Notion is a great app! we personally dont use it to track our system but we know many Systems that do! it can easily be used for tracking fronts, alters, giving alters journal pages etc! it's very easy to use for beginners and there are many tutorials on YouTube about it! It is also used by a alot of singlets too!

our only criticism is that it isn't built for Systems! So you would need to build it all yourself or use templates if that makes sense which we know for Some Systems could be a struggle!

Mindly

Mindly is a very easy to use app, which is commonly used for making innerworld maps! It's very simply to visualise and understand!

Our negatives for mindly are that there is a limit on how many maps you can make, if you are like us for example and have different layers in your system you wouldn't be able to make multiple maps for those layers, also it is very limited on how you can customise your bubbles, with only the colour, text and emoji

Fortelling

Fortelling is a great app! you can use it to create innerworld maps every easily! being able to include images and in-depth describes also!, we also use it to create split/fussion maps, and you can also use it similarly to Simply plural as you can add in depth information and also custom fields!

Anytype

Anytype is a good app for creating private journal pages for headmates!

It's a great way to allow alters there own private space to express themselves

Our negatives is that it can be quite confusing when you first start using the app, and it could get confusing if you are a bigger System

Twinote

we love twinote! it's such a fun way to communicate with your headmates! the app is very similar to twitter but it's completely private! alters can completely create there own profiles and communicate with each other very easily!, we also know singlets that use it for role playing also! :)

Daylio

We use daylio well daily! it's a great way to track things like switches or Symptoms eta very simply! we also use it for non system related things just like sleep, school, our mood etc!! It's been so helpful for us and our doctors!

We use daylio well daily! it's a great way to track things like switches or Symptoms eta very simply! we also use it for non system related things just like sleep, school, our mood etc!! It's been so helpful for us and our doctors!

[changes]

Tuesday, June 18th, 2024

🌟 New

The first cut of settings for communities is now available. Admins of communities can change the name, tagline, avatar, header image, tags, and description. You can find a link to these settings in the sidebar for your community on desktop, or in the context menu on mobile.

The community invite popup has been given a design refresh, including a counter of how many invites you have left.

Communities now display whether they are public or private in their header.

Community admins can now promote members to moderators. Moderators can delete posts, and we’re still building out the feature, so expect to see things change in the next few weeks!

We’ve updated the blog posts API endpoint to add the options to specify a sort order and an “after” time, to complement the current option to show posts from “before” a specific time. When using “before”, and by default, posts are sorted in reverse-chronological order (“descending”). With “after” and “sort = asc”, you can sort posts from oldest to newest instead, starting at a certain time.

🛠 Fixed

Since secondary blogs cannot post to communities yet, your primary blog will now always be selected when posting to communities.

Certain activity coming from communities, such as mentions in posts and comments, and soon invitations, now count towards your unread activity total.

🚧 Ongoing

We are aware of ads auto-playing audio in the Android app, sometimes quite loudly, and are working on a fix!

🌱 Upcoming

We are working to rename Community Labels to Content Labels across our official clients (Web, iOS, and Android), as well as Community Guidelines to User Guidelines. We hope this change will prevent any potential confusion regarding the relationship between these and Tumblr Communities.

Experiencing an issue? Check for Known Issues and file a Support Request if you have something new. We’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

Wanna support Tumblr directly with some money? Check out the new Supporter badge in TumblrMart!

[ayeforscotland]

What is Dataflow? Part 3: Doing the Practical

Apologies for the delay in getting this next section up - past few weeks have been super busy and then, hilariously, I was ill last week.

Read Part 1 here.

Read Part 2 here.

In Part 2 I wrote about how important diagrams have been throughout history. Understanding the 'big picture' has been important for every triumph of engineering. From bridges to skyscrapers to oil rigs and wind turbines, all of these have had diagrams backed by international standards which enabled them to be built.

The digital world hasn't quite managed that yet. In the other posts I've tried to drill home the point that modern digital businesses are often extremely siloed, communication and documentation isn't there and there is a lack of a common language between 'Business' and 'IT'.

This lack of understanding means organisations do not understand how data flows through their business and their supply chain.

It's the understanding of dataflow that's important here because it enables organisations to focus on optimising, securing and maintaining flows across an organisation rather than siloed teams patching things up where they can and not understand the upstream and downstream impact on the business.

Method and Layers

Going to preface this by saying that this may come across as complete common sense, and to some extent you'll be completely correct!

This is an example of how to create a very basic dataflow. But I will first start with understanding all of the People, Processes and Technology that I use to post on Tumblr.

So I start with six layers:

Ownership

Business Process

Application

System

Hardware

Infrastructure

What is important to remember here is that you do not have to be a specialist in every single layer.

A Business Analyst will feel much more at home in the Business Process Layer, while an Infrastructure Manager will be much more knowledgeable about the Infrastructure layer.

The important thing is that this Business & IT Diagram allows them to communicate more efficiently.

Let's Build a Dataflow!

In this example - There's an 'AyeforScotland' Element (the rectangle!) at the top. I'm the owner of everything below that element. The black lines are 'connections' representing the connectivity between the different elements.

Following the example, I'm responsible for' managing my blog 'Blog Management' which breaks down into smaller processes: Draft posts, schedule posts, answer anon abuse, and reblog shitposts.

Coming down to the Application Layer (red) - You can see that I draft and schedule posts using Tumblr Desktop and I'm using Firefox Web Browser for that.

But for answering anon abuse and reblogging shitposts, I'm using the Tumblr App.

In the Systems layer you can see I'm using Windows 11 on my PC (Hardware) and I'm using iOS on my iPhone.

Both my PC and iPhone connect to my BT Router.

And that's it for this Business & IT Diagram. I've shown clearly how I'm responsible for the processes and how I use the technology to perform those processes. I don't necessarily need to show everything on a single diagram because it would lose clarity.

This next Business & IT Diagram is much smaller, and establishes the relationships and dependencies on Tumblr to provide the service. And that's because we're complying with the laws and rules of a methodology.

In this diagram (probably need to zoom in to see it) I'm at the top left as 'AyeforScotland' and my 'BT Router' is spatially below me. Following the rules and laws of the method, that maintains the relationship that I have with the BT Router, I own it.

But I don't own the small 'Internet' that's next to it horizontally. I've simplified the concept of the internet for this example.

There's also two owners - 'Automattic' which owns and operates 'Tumblr' below it, with Tumblr being responsible for the 'Provision of Tumblr Services'.

Now naturally 'provision of Tumblr services' will break out into loads of sub-processes. Tumblr could map out their entire organisation (and if they need a hand, they can DM me!) But for this dataflow it's not really required.

Now both diagrams above are not dataflows. But close your eyes for a second and you can visualise what they are.

But because we've created our two diagrams, we understand the connectivity and using the software we can create the dataflow.

Now again, this is very basic. But when you put things into a dataflow context, you can put this down in front of a wide range of people from different business disciplines and they can start to optimise how the business works.

Here's a much larger Dataflow example, that you won't be able to read because it exceeds A0 printing size, but it should convey the scale.

If any of the connections or elements fail along this dataflow - The dataflow stops.

This costs organisations time and/or money.

So understanding dataflows allows IT people to articulate to business people "Hi boss, if this server goes down it will bring down this dataflow and cost the business $10,000 an hour" - Suddenly it's in a language they understand.

It helps with strategic decision-making, it helps with communication, it helps document how things *actually* work as opposed to how people think they work, and once you switch to thinking in terms of 'dataflow' it's hard to stop.

Conclusion

I can't wait to answer all the questions on the back of this.

Also one area I didn't go into is that each of the elements (rectangles) can also hold data (Financial data, Technical Specs, Risk & Cybersecurity metrics, Governance documentation etc).

It's also really easy to get started with it. You can start in any of the layers based on your area of work.

[jeanforestauthor]

Hey, My Book is Great and You Should Read it For Free

Hi there! I wrote a book, and I want to let you read it for free!

In The Princess and the Peaches we follow Ethan, a young man with a lot of heart, and not much spine, who is struggling to run a small failing grocery store after the untimely death of his parents. Ethan also has the misfortune of being a thoroughly Normal Guy in a world where fairytales are far more fact than fiction.

Ethan has always lived with the understanding that magic was quite firmly None of his Business, but when a wayward Princess falls victim to a curse inside his shop, he is informed by an iron-fisted Fairy Godperson that it has suddenly become Entirely his Business.

As a result, Ethan is forced to deal with flirtatious dragons, sadistic Princes, and more than a few deep seated insecurities.

So, you may be wondering, if this book is so great, why is it free? Well, because of my burning resentment for the stranglehold of capitalism on the accessibility of art. Uh, Marketing... or something. The point is, I think my book rules, and I wanted it to find people who also thought it ruled, so here it is!

You can access it on multiple e-reading platforms, including Apple and Smashwords here:

Or on Google Play here:

If you STILL aren't totally convinced, that's cool! I generously put the first three chapters under a read-more so you can check them out without even having to leave the safe harbor of Tumblr.

Copyright © 2025 by Jean Forest

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. 

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Book Cover by Andrew Filion

First edition, 2025

Chapter 1

It was always the same dream.

For twenty-some years Ethan Green had enjoyed placid, peaceful sleep. He'd had boring, pointless dreams and loved it. Then everything had changed, and now, for four years, it had been the same stupid nightmare, every single night. He drifted through it, carried along in its insistent, unchanging rhythm.

He passed through the living room, warm and full of light. Meandered towards the door, his stride easy and unhurried. At this point, Ethan always somehow felt calm, even eager, despite knowing how this was inevitably going to end. Reflecting on it later, he knew it made a sad kind of sense. This was the only way he could see them now.

He heard them before he'd even reached the door. Laughter so deep and loud it sounded like trains passing outside the window. Then a quiet, lilting tone, rising and falling like birdsong.

With one twist of the handle, one swing of the door, he stepped out into the bright, sun drenched storefront, and for just a brief moment, everything felt right.

Ethan's gaze traveled over the deep velvety green of the walls, the worn pine floor, dappled with light. He looked at the big, arched windows, draped in the same old green gingham curtains, heard the quiet chatter of customers, and now, just like every time, he could swear he smelled the scent of sweet, ripe peaches.

And then came the moment he always anticipated. His view swept from the windows, to the neat, trim counter waiting at the front of the store, over the battered old till, up into the lively, animated face of his father.

He was exactly the way Ethan remembered him. Big as a bear and nearly as hairy, booming with laughter, his rough, calloused fingers almost too large for the spindly keys on the register. Ethan took in his twinkling eyes and crooked grin fervently, as if to fix every minute detail in his memory.

And then there, nestled in amongst the bins and barrels of fresh fruit was his mother, as small and willowy as his father was large, but no less intimidating. Her voice was bright, her movements brisk and efficient. Ethan watched her long, elegant hands tug trimly at the curtains and found himself remembering the way they'd often done the same at the collars of his shirts.

Ethan basked in this moment, like the sight of a sunset, brief and fleeting.

Because of course, it never lasted. It started with the windows, like Every. Single. Time. 

Small cracks, that began to spread, like ugly, spiraling spider webs, reaching greedily for the corners of the panes, until suddenly with a deafening crash, the air was full of cascading shards of glass.

As usual, his parents made no reaction, still cheerful, unshaken. Ethan always tried to reach them, even while knowing it was pointless.

"Dad!" He cried, working off the same unending script. "The windows! What's happening!?"

His father turned to him, a placid smile in place.

"It's alright, kiddo, don't worry. I know you can handle it." He replied in his deep, bass rumble.

Ethan stared down at his feet, shifting through the piles of shattered glass.

"But dad-"

Then the fruit would go. Where there was once jewel-bright piles of fresh, ripe produce, suddenly there would be putrid mounds of rotted fruit, their stench overpowering.

"Mom!? How did this-!?"

His mother would give him that soft, exasperated look, like he'd forgotten to comb his hair again.

"Ethan, it's okay, honey. We know you'll take care of it."

And then came the groaning, rending sound of splintering wood, and Ethan's heart would drop into his stomach. The long beams overhead would begin to tear, shaking dust from the ceiling. Every inch of the walls would begin to crack and buckle.

Ethan would look to his parents, still blissfully smiling back at him.

"Everything's falling apart! Can't you see it!? Come on, help me!" He'd cry.

"Ethan calm down," His mother would laugh, "Everything will be fine."

"Yeah kiddo," His father would add with a grin, "You'll just need to take care of it."

And like every time, Ethan would find himself brought up short, paralyzed. He'd stand in the midst of the destruction, his whole life going to ruins around him, and he'd be useless. 

"You can do it." His father would add, with such perfect, maddening certainty.

"But..." Ethan muttered, as always, his voice strangely clear among the chaos. "But I don't know how."

Ethan awoke, a few seconds before his alarm, like always, just a little too late to stop it from going off. It's grating, jangling tones piercing straight into the center of Ethan's brain.

He levered himself out of bed immediately. A Green did not snooze, he told himself wearily, not when there was work to be done. Ethan had never once in his life slept past the alarm and today was no exception. 

Groggily, he shuffled into the bathroom and stared at his reflection. There was that curly mop of comb-destroying hair. There were those same, tired brown eyes. A nose a little too long, a mouth a little too feminine, a frame far, far too scrawny.

Nothing new here.

He went through his usual routine, dressing in the same white shirt, and the same green slacks he wore just about every day of his adult life. He slipped on the same, stiff loafers, and then… Well, then the apron.

He'd thought he'd have gotten used to it by now. He'd seen it on his parents since he was a child. He'd worn it himself since he was a teenager. But somehow, it still managed to give him pause. Probably because it was hideous.

Family legend said that his great grandmother had chosen the color because it reminded her of springtime, of freshness. Most people Ethan knew would never in their wildest dreams have come to these associations. Looking at it, the words of Ethan's best friend ran through his head. 

"If that's fresh anything, it's fresh vomit. Unhealthy vomit. Go to the doctor, something's gone wrong, vomit."

But... It had been a family tradition for generations. It was the Green family's trademark.

And so, dutifully, Ethan put it on, tying it in a tight double knot, even though it made it near impossible to get off later. It was what he always did. It was how it had always been done.

With heavy feet, he trudged downstairs, into the living room.

In truth, it looked almost no different from his dreams. Everything was still in its place, untouched, as it had been for four years now. A few low couches, huddled around the room, a tall bookshelf standing sentinel in the corner, a battered TV sitting silent nearby. The same pictures, arrayed on the mantelpiece, familiar faces staring out. It was exactly the same, an almost perfect monument to the way things used to be... except.

It was so empty. Ethan had managed to preserve every inch of the room, as though nothing had changed, but somehow, like sand slipping through his fingers, he hadn't been able to keep the life that had once existed here, the almost palpable feel of warmth and joy. Now, absence seemed to hang like dust in the air. 

Well, that wasn't the only change. Slowly, Ethan made his way over to the bookshelf, and ran his fingers over the glossy, cool stone of the urn sitting high on its shelves. He muttered a quiet, customary, "Good morning." For a moment he forgot his rituals, forgot his duties, and let himself get lost.

The soft tinkle of the bell on the other side of the door jarred him out of his reverie though. There wasn't really time to pause, he reminded himself. With brisk, purposeful steps, he crossed the room and exited out of the dim, musty corners of his home, and into the bright halls of the storefront.

This too, like the living room, differed little from his dreams, although Ethan thought hopefully that the store at least, was less melancholy than the rest of the house. The soft light of sunrise was just filtering through the tall arched windows, catching in the gingham curtains, painting the pine floor. 

There was no boisterous, laughing man behind the front counter though. Instead, there sat Todd... Or lounged Todd, his sandy, brush cut head lying in a nest of insultingly well muscled arms.

This too, Ethan had to concede, wasn't exactly new. Since Ethan had begun running the shop, Todd worked every morning, the same time, same as Ethan, and yet somehow stubbornly refused to adjust himself to actually being awake during sed time. And as he had every morning,  Ethan considered that if Todd hadn't been his best friend, he'd probably have fired him by now. That, and he was pretty good at moving boxes.

Sighing, Ethan made his way over to the stool Todd had precariously perched himself on and gave it a lazy kick. Todd awoke with a start, scrambling to keep upright.

"Am I keeping you awake Todd?" Ethan asked with a weary smile.

"Bro, you are single handedly destroying my sleep cycle, but what else is new?" Todd replied groggily, "Why'd you wake me up? You don't even need me for anything."

"The produce shipment-" Ethan began.

"-Probably won't come until noon," Todd concluded sourly.

Ethan scowled. "You've noticed that too huh? He used to come first thing a few years ago... Now he's been coming later and later..."

"Fine by me, I'm in no hurry to play packhorse." Todd replied with a jaw cracking yawn.

"It's your job Todd. Being awake, by the way, is also your job."

"Yeah, when there's shit to do. Trust me, I'll be all over those boxes when they come. I'll hit those boxes like they owed me money. Fuckin' Prince of boxes over here. But for now, no boxes, no customers... So no Todd," He muttered, laying his head down again.

"Todd, come on man. You've gotta do something. Remember what dad used to say? If you've got time to lean-"

"- You've got time to clean, yeah I remember. And don't get me wrong bro, your dad was a regular fountain of wisdom, but it's gonna be a long friggin' day. The dust will still be there after my power nap." 

Shaking his head, Ethan abandoned his efforts to rouse Todd and fetched his old push broom from its resting place nearby. 

It was worn, it's bristles tattered, it's paint chipped, and it was heavier than a broom had any right to be, the shaft made of what Ethan suspected was solid metal, but it had been in the family for generations, and it fit in Ethan's hand like it was made just for him. 

Wearily, he took it and made a few halfhearted swipes at the floor, but had to concede that all he was doing was likely wearing more of the already thin varnish off the boards. He'd spent most of last night aimlessly sweeping too, after all. It wasn't like there were customers to keep them busy.

Todd looked up, and seemed to notice the despondent look on Ethan's face. 

"Hey man, I'm just fuckin' around. You know I'll work hard today." 

"Yeah Todd, I know, I'm not really worried about you," Ethan replied quietly.

Todd stood and made his way over to Ethan,  awkwardly clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry so much dude. Things will get better. Today's gonna be different! I can feel it!" Todd exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as one could have at six in the morning.

"I don't really want it to be different," Ethan sighed,"I'd rather things... went back to being the same."

Todd scowled. "Well, tough. I said today's gonna be different, and it will. You wait and see, bro."

"Alright," Ethan laughed, "If you say so."

As the day wore on, things certainly seemed far from different.

As Todd predicted, the produce shipment came extraordinarily late. True to his word, Todd tackled the task with gusto. Ethan was forced to admit, when there was actual work to be done, Todd was a model employee. It was just sheer boredom that tripped him up. Unfortunately, boredom was the one commodity they had in plenty at the store. Once the crates were squared away, the produce stocked, there was little else to be found, because as Ethan had predicted, only a few, meandering customers made their way into the store all day. Even fewer had bought anything. 

As evening began to fall, Ethan gradually found that even he was running out of mindless busywork for himself, and so, he began to fall back on entertaining Todd's inane chatter.

"Hey, bro!" Todd called from the front of the store. From where Ethan stood, crowded in the far corner, surrounded by crates of fruit, he could only just make out Todd's frame leaning languidly on the counter, a newspaper in hand. "Did you read this story? The one in the paper today?"

"You mean that paper we're supposed to be selling?" Ethan sighed.

"Yeah, whatever dude, listen up. Apparently there was a dragon attack in South Mills. Isn't that crazy?"

Ethan scowled. "A dragon? An actual like... wild dragon? I thought those were pretty rare."

"Yeah, I know right? I guess it's the first attack in like, five years or something," Todd paused, laying down the paper, "Hey... do you think something like that could happen here?" He added, in a tone far more hopeful than frightened.

"Here?" Ethan didn't even give the question a moment's consideration, "No way. That stuff happens out in the country, not in the middle of downtown. Not here."

"I dunno, could happen. Oh! like I heard from my cousin’s friend's sister, there was that place down on Pine St, that mom and pop diner? Anyhow, so I guess the health inspector was due to visit, and they were freaking out because they'd never make the grade, right? And then like, overnight, they get one of those... Uh, those little bastards... What're they called? Something like food... a muffin?"

"A Brownie," Ethan supplied wearily.

"Yeah! That's the thing! Anyhow, I guess one of those moves in, and suddenly the next morning their kitchen is totally clean and up to code! So see man, that kind of thing happens around here."

Ethan shook his head. "Don't hold your breath Todd. This place isn't exactly magical."

Ethan had always been vaguely aware of Magic, in the same way one could be vaguely aware that elephants existed. It was a part of life for some people, and sometimes interesting to hear about, but Ethan sure as hell didn't want it in his shop. A Green, he could almost hear his father saying, did not rely on Magic. Hard work, courage and love had their own magic, he would state, and it was all their family ever needed. Ethan held by this attitude dutifully... Not that anything remotely Magical had ever shown up at his door. Life at the shop had been blissfully routine for years, so much so that it was almost easy to forget that Magic even existed to begin with.

"Still, it'd be cool," Todd muttered.

Ethan smirked. "What, you want a dragon to come burn the shop down?" 

Todd heaved a sigh. "Well at least then I'd get weekends off..."

Ethan paused, a twinge of guilt running through him. "Look..." He began awkwardly, "I'm... I'm really sorry you've had to work so much lately. It's just, you know, money's tight... I can't really afford to hire..." 

"Bro," Todd cut in with a laugh, "Shut the fuck up man. I don't care. I didn't really mean what I said, you know that."

"I... Yeah," Ethan sighed, "I just... Feel bad."

"You always feel bad. Constantly. You're like a little rain cloud of pure downer. Come on, bro, don't take me so seriously. I don't." 

"Yeah okay. Just, I don't wanna be that boss, y'know?"

"You aren't dude. Calm down. Sweep or something, that'll cheer you up." 

"Great advice. Thanks, Todd." Ethan shot back sarcastically.

"Anytime." Todd replied with cheerful sincerity.

Aggravatingly, as closing hour neared, Ethan really was still sweeping. 

There was no real aim. He just skated his broom around the shop, letting his mind wander, trying to keep visions of red ink and out of business signs out of his head. He was startled out of these thoughts however, by a sharp jab to the back.

"Ow! F-Fudge!" He muttered.

He heard Todd creak on his stool. "The spinning wheel?" He drawled lazily.

Ethan wheeled to eye the contraption in question. "Yeah, the stupid thing."

"Goddamn, that's got to be the fifth time this week. You'd think you'd steer clear of that thing by now.”

"You'd think..." Ethan muttered darkly.

He hated that spinning wheel. Hated it. Nearly every day of his life he'd had to dodge its spindle, jutting out into the aisles, taking up precious space. But his mother, and his grandmother, and her mother before that had been enamored with it. Made the place look rustic, they'd said, homey. Made it a death trap, Ethan thought murderously to himself. But still, he couldn't bring himself to remove it. It was a part of the shop. Tradition. 

He was still rubbing his sore back when the smell met his nose. He felt his stomach sink. Rotten fruit. Again. Just what he needed.

Striding over to the produce, he bent over the bin of peaches and poked at them experimentally. Their flesh gave way, revealing their slick, browning insides, releasing that same putrid odor. Ethan suppressed a groan of frustration.

"Todd!" He called.

"Yeah, what?"

"Did you forget to swap out yesterday's peaches?"

Todd poked his head down the aisle, scowling. "No man. I restocked those today, my own two hands."

"They're friggin' rotten again!" 

"Again? That's weird. They looked okay when I stocked them, I guess," Todd shrugged.

"Well, they're garbage now," Ethan sighed.

Grumbling, Ethan seized a trash bag and set about the unenviable task of discarding the moldering peaches. He was so consumed by his frustration that he didn't even hear the bell tinkling on the front door. After a few minutes though, he couldn't help but notice Todd's frantic attempts to get his attention from behind the counter.

"Bro!" Todd hissed, "Bro c'mere! C'mere c'mere!"

Ethan wasn't sure why Todd was bothering to whisper, considering that he was also windmilling his arms enthusiastically. With a sigh, Ethan set down his bag and wandered over.

"What is it, Todd?" He asked wearily.

"Check it, bro. Unbelievable," Todd breathed, gesturing down the central aisle.

Ethan followed his gaze. It was a girl. That was unsurprising. Todd never hesitated to point out a shapely looking lady or two, with just as much finesse as he was doing now. Ethan usually didn't humor these gawking sessions, a little too respectful and very much too terrified to scope out women, but this time, he found he couldn't quite tear his eyes away.

She was beautiful. Radiantly, impossibly beautiful. 

She was short, but not too short, perhaps a full head below Ethan. Her hair was cropped startlingly, boyishly close, but it was a color that Ethan, though a not poetic sort, could only describe as honey-gold. Though she wore loose, casual clothes; a t-shirt, jeans, a scarf hanging about her neck, she bore them as if they were the finest regalia. 

She stood near the coolers, inspecting a drink, and as she moved Ethan found himself taking in even the tiniest aspects of her delicate form. She had slender, perfect fingers. Rosy, cherubic, perfect lips. A pert, perfect nose. Indeed as Ethan stared, he began to realize that just about everything on her was perfect, in a very uniform, depthless kind of way. This idea suddenly changed his awe to unnerved fixation. There was something... uncanny about her.

If you'd asked a man to describe what a perfect woman looked like, aside from her haircut and clothes, they likely would have rattled off her exact attributes. There were no flaws, no quirks, nothing curious or odd on her body anywhere. Not a single freckle, beauty mark, scar, wrinkle. She was of perfect proportion, curvaceous, but not overly so. Her ears were cute ears, her brows were cute brows. Even before he caught sight of her eyes, he could predict their color, a pure brilliant sky blue. The entire effect was one of a lovely woman, to make no mistake, but something struck him as off. She seemed so... generically gorgeous. So... homogenized.

Still, she was a girl, and she was beautiful, and so Todd's next words brought a twist to Ethan's stomach.

"Go talk to her, bro."

Ethan whirled to face Todd. "What!?" He hissed.

"Yeah, dude, go talk to her! One of us has to! We can't let a babe like that walk out the door without saying something!"

"Yes we can! And why me!?"

Todd shrugged. "I know my limits dude. A girl like that? Wouldn't say two words to me. But you've got that whole kicked-puppy thing going on. Girls love that. Go talk to her."

"I... What?"

"Besides, you deserve a break. Maybe if you got a girlfriend you'd stop moping for once."

"I am not going to go over there and hit on her!" Ethan exclaimed, a little more loudly than he'd intended. He froze, panicked for a moment. Had she heard? He snuck a glance at her, but she was still staring impassively at her drink. He could have sworn he heard a snicker though.

"Relax dude. I didn't tell you to go ask her to marry you. Just say something to her."

"Like what!?" Ethan demanded quietly.

"I don't know man, like, "Hey, need help finding anything?" At the very least you gotta go help her out. It's good customer service."

Ethan paused. In a roundabout way, Todd was right. She was a customer, and so far all he'd done was stare at her. His parents would be mortified.

"Okay, well... yeah. I'm going to go help her. But I mean... Just because it's my job," He stammered.

"Sure bro. Good luck. I'll be here, thinking up baby names for you."

Ethan scowled and shook his head, but nonetheless gathered his courage and began to approach the mystery girl. He saw her gaze slant over to him, and it hit him like an electric shock. Suddenly Ethan became painfully aware of his every flaw, and imagined a few new ones for good measure. Was he walking funny? Did he always walk like that? How did walking work again?

His suddenly stilted gait carried him to her, and as she stared up at him expectantly, he remembered that now he was supposed to talk.

"Hhhh...." He began. It was supposed to be Hi, but the I had jumped ship somewhere between his brain and his lungs. "So, can I... find... anything?"

Somewhere, in the back of his skull, a cruelly rational part of him began dissecting his sentence, and concluded that it was at least missing a verb and a pronoun. It decided that the obvious remedy to this problem was to make him blush furiously. The girl bit her lip. Ethan wasn't sure what this was supposed to mean, but he had a suspicion it meant something, in the mystic language of girl. 

"Uh, yeah, no, I'm just looking at the sodas," She replied with a fluttering smile.

She had a soft, lilting voice. The kind you expected to hear raised in song. Just listening to it Ethan had the impression that pan flutes and violins were on standby.

"Oh. Okay. Sodas are... good," Ethan murmured. He could hear Todd's hand hit his forehead all the way from the front of the store.

"Yeah, uh... right. So..." The girl murmured back awkwardly.

"So..." Was all Ethan could manage to reply.

He knew this was his cue to walk away. But he just... couldn't. It was as if something intoxicating was radiating off this girl, like a perfume. It fixed him to his place, denying him the dignity of a hasty retreat. He was struggling for some kind of rational explanation for this when the girl cleared her throat.

"Look," She began. Her lyrical voice had taken on a wearied, flat tone, to very odd effect. "I'm sorry. This isn't your fault."

"Wait, what's not my fault?" 

"The awkwardness."

Her bluntness was surprising, but somehow Ethan found himself laughing. "Oh. No. I'm pretty sure it's all my fault. It's kind of what I do."

The girl laughed in return, and it sounded like bells. "No, seriously though. I have this effect on everyone. It's not just you."

Ethan's mouth beat his brain. "Well, yeah, because you're gorgeous."

From the front came the distinct noise of Todd falling off his chair.

To his relief and bewilderment, she laughed again. "Uh huh. I know. It's kind of part and parcel of the whole gig. I'm, uh... Well see, I'm a Princess."

Ethan blinked. Even as his mouth was saying, "What?" His mind was quickly putting the pieces together. It made sense, actually.

Up to now, Ethan had only seen Princesses on the television, generally being paraded as some kind of prize in reality shows. The formula was always the same, a few handsome Princes, some perilous trials, and in the end, a happily ever after, or so the tabloids purported. The Princess in question had always stuck Ethan as more of a prop than a person, bubbly, vacuous, grinning glossily as men risked life and limb in the pursuit of their hands, cooing breathlessly as they were carried away into the sunset like hunted pelts on the back of some ridiculous horse. And they all looked the same. A minor variation in hair or skin color, height, features, but nearly always the same, tame, brand name beautiful. Looking at this girl now, he realized that she fit the same mold perfectly, as though she'd been crafted on the same assembly line.

At any rate, Princesses, like Magic, were something that didn't happen to Ethan Green. So despite instantly believing her confession, it took a few moments for the gears in his head to restart.

"Yeah, so, I guess it's normal that you're... y'know, staring and everything," She muttered, "It's okay. Well actually it's not okay, I mean, it's kind of a pain in the ass, but it's not like you're the only one." 

Ethan shook his head. "I... I'm sorry. I just... Why are you in my shop!?" He blurted.

The Princess regarded him frostily, a strange expression on her angelic face. "Excuse me?"

"No! No no, I didn't mean that like, 'Get out of my shop or anything' it's just that... Aren't you guys usually-?" 

Her expression only darkened, her long fingers gripping the top of her soda viciously. "Aren't we usually what? Fawning out windows, waiting for our Prince to come? Embroidering our wedding gowns? What are you saying, 'Shouldn't you be in your tower?!'" 

"No! No, jeez, no," Ethan cried, holding his hands up placatingly, "I just... You're here, doing... Normal people stuff. I mean, Princesses aren't... Normal."

Somehow, he knew it was the wrong thing the moment he said it. Still, he didn't expect the tears that sprang up in her eyes.

"No. We're not. Thanks for reminding me." She seethed. Roughly, she jammed the soda back into the cooler, and wheeled around. Ethan expected her to storm off, but instead she froze.

"Miss? Please Miss... Uh, or your highness, or... whatever. I'm sorry." Ethan stammered out.

She didn't turn, didn't move. 

"Miss? Are you alright?" 

He walked as close as he dared to her. She was still fixed in place, and as Ethan watched her, he could see she was barely breathing. Baffled, he followed her gaze. She was staring, wide eyed, unblinking, at the spinning wheel.

She let out a small, defeated breath. Spoke only two words.

"Oh, fuck."

Then, moving like a woman possessed, she stepped forward, stretched out a hand, and pricked her finger on the spindle.

Then dropped like a sack of rocks.

Chapter 2

Ethan gaped for a second, staring at her sprawled body, stepping away from it like it was toxic. It took him a few seconds to find his voice. It took him longer to form actual words.

"Oh fu- Oh sh- Oh God. Oh god oh man. Ohhhhhh god oh man oh god..."

"Bro?" Came Todd's voice tentatively from the front.

"TODD!" 

"Whoa, Bro, what!?" Todd called, scrambling out from behind the counter. 

"TODD!" Ethan cried again, pointing to her prone body.

"OH SHIT!" Todd yelped, jumping back. "WHAT THE FUCK, BRO!? I told you to talk to her, not club her like a fucking seal!"

"I didn't! I was talking to her, and then she flipped out, and then she... died?"

"OH FUCK, IS SHE DEAD!?" Todd roared.

"I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! I don't know, I just... SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TALK TO GIRLS!"

Todd let out a small burst of hysterical laughter. "Oh shit, Bro, you're a real lady killer."

"NOT FUNNY!" 

"Okay. Okay, just chill, just... Just chill," Todd took a deep breath, ran his hands through his crop of hair, "Okay. First aid right? Do we check her pulse, or... CPR? Mouth to mouth?" He offered vaguely.

"I wouldn't recommend that." Came a dry voice from behind them. 

Both of them jumped. Todd let out what could only accurately be described as a squeal. 

Whirling, Ethan came face to face with the most bizarre looking woman he'd ever seen in his life.

She wasn't quite young, but she wasn't quite old either. Something about her eyes suggested a certain august maturity, but her face had a glossy, flawless quality to it, not unlike the Princess. Her hair was a faint lavender, pulled into a rather intricate bun at the crown of her head. In truth, everything about her was lavender, from her severe, sensible pumps to her glittering, wire rim spectacles. She even seemed to emanate a nearly imperceptible lavender aura. Her clothes smacked of the same sickly hue. Ethan was just a bit at a loss for how to describe them though.

It looked like a pantsuit, tailored by someone given only the barest description of what that entailed, and with a fanciful imagination. Flairs and curlicues and embroideries plagued the thing. Ethan absently made out that her buttons were in fact twee little violet butterflies. 

And then of course, there were the wings. Gossamer, gaudy affairs, in the same precise shade of Lavender. They reached above her head, and came to an almost menacing hooked peak. They swallow-tailed beneath her, trailing just above the ground.

Ethan absorbed all of this in just a few stunned seconds. Sheer panic made him a studious observer. As the shock wore off, he felt Todd, gripping his arm so hard he was losing sensation.

"Whathafuckisthat?" Todd squeaked.

The woman... person... thing, straightened her glasses and scowled. 

"My name is Louise. I'm your Godperson attendant for this juncture," She answered. Her voice was somewhere in a bland, middle range, sterile and professional, the type of voice one chose for answering machine menus.

"Our what?" Ethan breathed.

"Here, take my card." She twiddled her fingers and in a blink of an eye a small card appeared in her hand, lavender of course. As Ethan took it, he noted absently that it gave off a strange, nauseatingly sweet smell.

"Wherethafuckyoucomefrom?" Todd cut in again.

"I teleported. Standard procedure. Much more efficient than flying," She stated as if this were self-evident, "Now, before we continue chatting, I have to observe protocol," She cleared her throat, staring Ethan square in the face. Her eyes were god damn lavender colored, "We have received notice that on these premises, a Princess has succumbed to a Curse, and as such as initiated her Trial Phase."

She had a remarkable ability for pronouncing capital letters. Everything was said with an inflection of slight annoyance.

"Uh, Miss Godperson... Louise. Ma'am. May I ask a few questions?" Ethan ventured, struggling to tread water.

"By all means."

"Okay. So. Princess?" 

"Her." Louise replied flatly, pointing to the girl sprawled on the floor.

"Okay... Curse?"

"The Spinning Wheel's Spindle. A rather old fashioned method. Usually avoided nowadays, the whole Coma business can put Princes off rather a bit, but it was deemed... Necessary in her case. Nonetheless, it was rather hard to trigger. I have to say I'm grateful for your assistance in that matter."

"Assist? I didn't push her into the thing!" Ethan exclaimed.

"Of course not. It would have drawn her in the moment she saw it. All the same, I'm glad you have one lying around. They're hard to come by."

"I... Yeah, sure... Anyhow. Uh... Trial Phase?"

"Ah, now here is where we really talk business. Are you the owner of these premises?" She demanded, fixing Ethan with a piercing gaze.

For a moment, Ethan almost said no. Some part of him still knew it as his parents' house. Their shop. Their home. But no, it was only his now.

"Yes. Yes I'm the owner," He nodded.

"Well then, as such, you are required, by code, to permit the use of these premises for use in the Princess' trials, and house her person until such a time as the trials are complete and a suitable Prince has awoken her."

"Waitwaitwait," Todd chimed in, "Trials? Like... Those crazy fuckin' things we see on TV? Riding up glass hills, and slaying dragons and shit?"

Louise looked at Todd as one might regard a diseased dog. "Yes, sir. Those sorts of trials. It's customary, once a Princess enters her Trial Phase, for Princes to compete for her hand. The onus of hosting these trials always falls on the owner of the-"

"Premises the Princess conks out on," Ethan surmised.

"In the cases of Magically Induced Comas, yes," Louise agreed.

"So you're going to roost a dragon in my SHOP!?" Ethan roared.

"There's no need to become excitable," Louise huffed, "Any and all damages you suffer will be compensated for. Honestly, most people are delighted to host Trials. It can be quite lucrative, you know."

"Lucrative?" Todd mumbled.

"Indeed. If you so choose, many Media outlets are happy to televise the proceedings, and pay a handsome fee for the privilege."

"No," Ethan replied firmly.

"Are you sure? It's quite routine nowadays," Louise replied airily.

"No. No media, no money, no... No trials! I don't want this! Take the girl but leave me alone!" He cried.

A look of frosty severity crossed Louise's face, momentarily contorting it into something that appeared not entirely human. Both he and Todd backed up a step. "You Don't Have A Choice Mr. Green," She intoned, every capital crisp.

"But... But this is my shop! It's my family's shop, it's been ours for generations!" Ethan protested.

"From the minute that girl fainted on your floor, for all intents and purposes, this shop became property of Fate, Mr. Green," Louise insisted.

"You can't..."

"I can. I will. You have very little choice in the matter. What choice you do have, I suggest you exercise wisely." She put firmly. Ethan felt the argument close like a pair of iron doors. "Now, as I said, you can still make a fine profit from this venture-"

"No, I still stand by what I said. No cameras." Ethan pressed. She was right. If this was the only choice he had, he was going to make the proper one. The Greens did not indulge in spectacle. The Greens didn't caper for money. The Greens did not seek fame. These were truths Ethan understood as firmly as his own name.

"Suit yourself," Louise dismissed, "It's not required. All that is required is that you don't impede the process. Do what you like with the Princess' body. Whatever is most convenient. I warn you though, lest you get visions of glory, that kissing her would be ill advised. Or any other kind of... miscreancy with her body, but kissing will have the most adverse effects."

"I... What!? No! God no! I'm not kissing a girl in a coma!" Ethan exclaimed. 

"Fuckin' right! That's creepy as balls!" Todd nodded.

"Good. See to it you maintain that attitude and I think we'll have a very amicable partnership." Louise declared cordially.

Ethan was less than reassured. He looked around his shop and fervently began to wish he really had told the Princess to get the hell out, customer service be damned.

"Oh cheer up," Louise pronounced. She sported something that it took several seconds for Ethan to realize was supposed to be a smile. "You're about to be aiding in the pursuit of True Love." 

She pronounced the last two words in such a fashion that Ethan almost saw the letters TM floating after them.

"I... Okay?"

"Don't worry, dear," The endearment came off more than a little scripted, "I'll take care of the particulars. All you have to do is sit back and stay out of the way. Who knows, you may even find it entertaining."

"I... But... Okay?"

"Good lad. Now then. I have a lot of business to attend to. We must get cracking as soon as possible, very eager to wrap this case up. That being said, how does tomorrow night, around nine o'clock fetch you?"

"For what?" Ethan asked numbly. 

"Well the trial of course!" Louise exclaimed, "Honestly, do keep up."

"Uh, well, it is after close," Ethan reasoned lamely.

"Lovely. Works for both of us. Good to see you're becoming more agreeable." Louise flashed another dubious smile. 

"I... Yeah, no problem," Ethan replied dazedly.

"Well, if that's all that sorted, I'll be on my way. You can expect the Dragon sometime around Eight, I expect."

"The... wait, what, seriously!?" Ethan exclaimed.

"Good day!" Louise replied brightly. There was a slight flash, a small sound like rushing air, and then she was gone.

He and Todd stood stock still for what must have been minutes. When Todd finally released his grip on Ethan's arm, he left sweaty fingerprints on his shirt.

"Dragon," Ethan muttered absently, "She said Dragon."

"And you said this shit doesn't happen here!" Todd replied with a faint laugh.

"Why Dragons? Why here? Why... Why me?" Ethan whispered. He looked to Todd frantically. "Did I like, murder someone and forget about it? Kick some kittens? How did my luck get this bad!?" 

"Well, you did get this chick zonked," Todd chuckled, prodding the girl with his foot.

"Don't kick her! God, what do we do with her? We can't just leave her here," Ethan moaned. Looking at her, sprawled on the hard floor, he already felt a bit guilty he'd ignored her as long as he had. 

"We could prop her up in the corner, tape her eyes open, scare the shit out of shoplifters."

"Todd!"

"Alright, dude, just kidding."

"It'll have to be the couch I guess," Ethan sighed, "Come on, help me move her."

Awkwardly, Ethan bent and slipped his hands under her arms, and Todd obligingly gathered up her legs. Lifting her, Ethan found she was actually rather light. He guessed that Todd could have lifted her on his own, but it would have hurt his pride to admit he himself likely couldn't. Together, they shuffled her into the living room. 

"She's not really breathing, Eh?" Todd ventured quietly.

Ethan had noticed the same thing. She looked still as death, but her skin was warm, her face rosy. "Yeah... It's creepy," He grunted as he struggled.

"Fuckin' creepy," Todd echoed.

Gesturing with his head, Ethan guided Todd over to the low, green couch set flush against the stairwell. "I don't know if her heart's beating either," He said as they laid her down.

Todd looked down at her, shook his head. "Nope. Nope I don't think it is."

Ethan shuddered. "So creepy."

Todd nodded, then considered a moment more. "Hey so... Hopefully that means she doesn't have to pee, right?" 

"Oh jeez. Oh wow that's gross but, yeah."

"Or eat. Or drink or anything..."

"God, where is that stupid Fairy Godperson when you need her?" Ethan hissed.

"More like Fairy Godbitch. What a cu-"

"Todd!"

"Country fried fool, as my grandma used to say," Todd recovered. 

Ethan shot him a smirk, but looking down at the stranger on his couch, he began to get the sensation that he was sliding down a very steep ravine. In actuality, it was a feeling he'd had for a very long time now, but the pace of his descent had gotten markedly faster.

"Bro? You okay?" Todd ventured quietly.

Ethan looked up, aware he'd been staring into space. "Yeah… I mean, well no, but yeah."

"I hear you. Weird fuckin' day, right?"

"Yeah, no kidding," Ethan laughed softly.

They fell into silence again for a minute. Todd seemed to become aware of his surroundings all of a sudden. 

"Hey. I just realized. I haven't been back here in like, years. Man, nothing's changed," He remarked.

"Yeah," Ethan replied vaguely. He knew Todd hadn't. No one had, except for a few well-wishing aunts, uncles, cousins, but even they'd stopped visiting months ago. The Princess was the first person to make use of the couch in ages. It always felt too big to sit on alone.

"So what now man?" Todd asked hesitantly.

Ethan shrugged. "I guess... We just close up. Go to bed, right?"

"That's it? You sure I can't do anything else?" 

"No. Wait, yeah," Ethan considered, "Can you... Can you get rid of that stupid spinning wheel for me? Just wrap it in a tarp and stick it in storage or something?"

Todd gaped openly, "Wait, for real?"

Ethan nodded wearily, "Uh, yeah. If it's not too much trouble."

"Hell no! I'd cart that fucking thing to an active volcano if you asked me, bro! But, I mean, I thought you wanted to keep it around. Because of... You know..."

Ethan knew. Some part of it felt like a betrayal, even thinking about discarding it. It was a piece of his memories, something his mother had been fond of… But he HATED it. The thing had stretched his tolerance just by hulking in the corner, but now it seemed it was actively trying to spite him. No more. It had to go.

"Yeah, Todd. I knew I said we should keep it around but... Well that's before I knew the thing was a friggin' Princess trap.," He laughed.

Todd chuckled in return. "It was like a freaking predator man! Waitin' for nubile young Princesses to wander into its clutches. It was probably practicing on you all these years."

"I don't look like a Princess," Ethan pouted.

"Sure, whatever you say, bro." Todd laughed. Turning, he strode on his heel, whistling cheerfully.

Chapter 3

The store closed and the spinning wheel properly squared away, Todd left, and Ethan found himself alone in his silent house. 

Well not quite alone. 

Standing in the living room, he caught himself staring at the Princess again. It was embarrassing, but in truth it was hard not to. Not because of her extraordinary beauty, though that was a factor, but because Ethan couldn't shake the eerie, unnatural sensation she engendered in him. His eyes fixed on her hair. It seemed... Longer somehow. He could have sworn it was just an inch when she'd walked in, but now it seemed long enough to brush her earlobes. That was impossible right? 

Confounded, he let it go. He'd already been through at least four or five things he thought impossible today. What was a few extra inches of hair compared to a half-dead girl on your couch?

Wearily, he fixed himself a haphazard supper before wandering off to his bed. Slowly, he went through his morning ritual in reverse, struggling with the knot on his apron, shuffling off his shoes, combing his hair, culminating with a brief, despondent look in the mirror. Finally, he threw himself down on his bed.

Ethan's nerves were frazzled, his mind racing, but the benefit of a long day of hard work was that it was nearly impossible to suffer insomnia. Ethan had never once in his life had trouble falling asleep, and tonight was no exception.

It began the same way.

He glided into the living room, drenched with light, radiant, warm.

He headed for the doorway, eager, hopeful.

He heard their voices. Thunder and birdsong. So close and so familiar it made his heart bleed.

He reached out a hand for the doorknob and...

Suddenly, discordantly, the door flew open. A small figure pushed its way through it, walking so briskly they bumped into Ethan's chest, giving a small squeak of surprise. Baffled, Ethan looked down.

It was her.

The Princess, in all her uncanny glory. She stared up at him with her vivid blue eyes, her honey hair cropped short over her brow. Ethan stared, open mouthed at her for a long minute, his bleary mind scrabbling to understand.

"Y-you!?" He exclaimed at length.

The girl scowled up at him. Roughly, she pushed him backwards a few steps, shutting the door behind her. "Hey, douche," She replied scathingly.

Ethan tried once or twice to speak, but words wouldn't come. He grasped at his hair, frustration, panic, confusion all battling in his chest. 

"What are you doing here!?" He cried, when his voice finally decided to show up.

She shrugged, avoiding his eyes.  "I got bored I guess. Saw this was open. Decided to snoop." 

"But... What!? How are you here, you... you're unconscious on my couch!" 

The girl rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Which is why I'm stranded in fucking dreamland, isn't it?"

"D-Dreamland?"

"Limbo, purgatory, the veil, whatever you want to call it. I got bored cruising around in the dark, figured I'd come crash this dream. I didn't know it was yours," She said with a note of disgust.

"A... a dream," Ethan murmured dazedly.

Suddenly, he heard it again, the bass rumble of his father's laugh. It drew him like a magnet. Instinctively, he tried to shift around the girl, but she noticed his maneuver and leaned against the door, arms crossed.

"Move," Ethan demanded.

"Yeah, I'm not done talking to you," The girl snorted.

Ethan began to feel frantic. "You need to move."

"Why?"

"Because I need to be out there! Move!"

"You don't need to be anywhere, it's a dream," She dismissed with another roll of her eyes.

"Move!"

"So have you tried to kiss me yet?" The girl replied, her voice casual, but her glance cutting.

Ethan paused, becoming aware that his breathing was galloping away from him. "W-What?"

"Well, you were hitting on me before. I figured you probably tried to get lucky right?"

Ethan could feel himself flush scarlet, though from indignation or humiliation he didn't know. "I was NOT hitting on you, I was... offering assistance. And no, I don't kiss girls in comas, but y'know, thanks for assuming!"

"Oh, seriously! You expect me to believe you didn't try to cop a feel!" The girl shot back. There was a ragged edge to her voice, something verging on tears, but Ethan barely noticed through his rage.

"No! Jesus, no!" He shouted, throwing up his hands.

"I know how it is! You get a pretty Princess in your shop, she passes out, is totally at your mercy. Figured I was public property anyhow!? Thought it was your lucky day!?"

Even high and screaming her voice was aggravatingly lovely. Her flushed face and teary eyes were still picturesquely perfect. It only threw fuel on Ethan's anger.

"LUCKY!?" He roared. A few tight, hysterical laughs bubbled out of his chest. "LUCKY!? You think it's LUCKY when a stranger passes out in your store!? You think it's LUCKY when some psychopathic fairy-lawyer from hell tells you she can do whatever she likes with your home!? You think it's LUCKY when... when everything you love could be burned to the ground tomorrow!? Is THAT your idea of LUCKY!?" Ethan buried his face in his hands, and took a few, sharp breaths before continuing. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for you, or your curse, or any of this... So just... God, will you please just leave me alone and get out of the way?" 

He looked at her face for the first time since he'd begun his tirade. She stared back, wide eyed, lips pursed. Her bitterness was gone, but she still remained frozen in place.

"Why do you want to get back there so bad?" She asked in a small, blank voice. "It's just your storefront. It's barely even different from when I saw it."

Ethan's patience had dissolved. Roughly, he pushed her arm aside, grasped for the doorknob.

"I need to see them," He answered flatly.

"See who?" She still stood stubbornly in the way. Ethan turned the knob, tried to prop it open. 

"My parents," Ethan continued, an edge of desperation entering his voice.

"But it's just a dream-" 

"I need to see them before they disappear!" Ethan cried, wrenching at the door.

He heard the girl give a small gasp, and suddenly she sprang away from the door. Ethan flung it open, heart beating wild with anticipation, but...

There was nothing.

The doorway opened into darkness. A complete and unending void.

"I... What... What happened?" Ethan whispered.

He reached out a tentative hand, pawed at the abyss beyond. He felt only dry, empty cold meeting his touch.

"They... They're gone. It's gone. Everything's gone," He intoned.

"It's just a dream," Came the girl's voice, meek, soft. 

"They're gone," Ethan repeated, choking over the last syllable.

Ethan slowly backed away from the door, shut it. The endless blackness was more than he could bear. He felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, and shakily raised his hand to cover them. He stood in silence for what must have been a very long time, grappling with the void that swelled inside him, the echo to that dark and empty doorway.

"They aren't gone forever," The girl chimed in.

Ethan took a quick, gulping breath. "Yeah. Yeah they are," He replied thickly. 

The girl didn't reply, but her silence was answer enough.

There was another long pause, as Ethan tried to collect himself, tried to just breathe. Eventually though, he couldn't ignore the feel of the girl's eyes on him. Wearily, he straightened up, turned to face her.

"What do you-" 

"I'm sorry!" She blurted.

Ethan blinked.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry!" She cried. Perfect, crystalline tears began to roll down her cheeks, and Ethan dimly considered that it was almost unfair how prettily flushed her face was, compared to his doubtlessly blotchy, red eyed one. "I'm sorry about your house and your shop, and your parents... I'm sorry I was such a fucking bitch back there... I just... Oh god, I'm really, really sorry about everything!" She sobbed.

Ethan found himself in the odd position of immediately feeling guilty. Instantly all his rage and pain were forgotten as he scrambled for a way to make things right.

"Hey, no, it's okay. It's alright. I, uh... I don't mind." He stammered.

She gave a small, tinkling laugh, between gasping breaths. "You don't mind? I've fucked up your life!" She exclaimed.

"No, I mean... Kind of. But it's not your fault, and I mean... I'm sorry?"

She gave another, louder laugh. "You're sorry? Wow, Jesus, why on earth are you sorry?"

Ethan paused, trying to puzzle out an answer, brow furrowed.

"Uh, I'm sorry... that you're sorry?" He ventured.

The girl laughed again, and suddenly, like sun peeking out from behind clouds, something new, something genuine slipped out. Her laugh started musically, but a surprising, brash note snuck in, and then a small snort. It was jarring, but oddly refreshing. Ethan found himself smiling without exactly knowing why.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you." She began, misinterpreting Ethan's curious stare, "It's just... You really don't like crying people, do you?" 

Ethan returned with a laugh of his own. "No, they kind of freak me out." 

The girl smiled, and sniffling, began to swipe away her tears. "Sorry. I just... I really am sorry. About everything."

"Noted," Ethan replied with a smile.

She sighed, and the two of them regarded each other for a suddenly painfully awkward minute. Ethan cast about for what one said to a half-dead dream Princess. A question leapt into his head and he couldn't stop himself from asking it.

"Do you eat?" He blurted.

"What?" The girl looked up at him, smiling bemusedly.

"I mean, like... If you don't eat, in the real world, will you die? I should have asked the fairy god-lady or whatever but-"

"Oh. Oh no. I don't. I don't need water or anything. It's like... Magic stasis? I should be fine." 

"Oh, okay, thank god. That... that would have been weird."

They both paused for a moment, no doubt musing over the undignified scenario of trying to feed a passed-out stranger. Ethan tried to push it out of his mind. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Well anyhow, uh, your body is good - I mean it's okay! It's fine. It's uh, on my couch," He supplied.

"Oh, yeah, thanks. That's nice," The girl replied hurriedly, "One of... one of these?" She queried, pointing around the room.

"What? Oh! Yeah... uh, that one." Ethan answered, gesturing.

"Huh." The girl crossed over to the couch in question. Stiffly, she sat, bounced on it a few times. "Seems comfy enough. Thanks," She added with a smile.

"Yeah, no problem," Ethan smiled back nervously. Hesitant, but feeling gawky standing over her, he crossed to the couch and sat as well, taking care to seat himself on the far opposite side. "I mean. It's not exactly... uh... fit for a Princess or anything," He muttered.

The girl gave a loud snort of derision, another strange, fascinating slip of her veneer. "I would sleep on the lumpiest couches on earth if I could stop being a fucking Princess."

Ethan smiled at her nervously. "What, seriously?"

The girl nodded, her shoulders slumped. "Yeah, seriously."

"But I mean... I thought being a Princess was every girl's dream?"

The girl gave a small, bitter laugh. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, for some girls it must be. I've seen ones that seem happy enough. I mean, money, fame, a handsome husband... It sounds pretty great. Maybe I'm weird for thinking it's not, but... Jesus, it's not." 

"What do you mean?" 

"What do I mean!? I mean it's... It's... It's a trap, you know? It's a perversion, it's a violation, it's... It's a fucking nightmare."

"A violation?" Ethan gulped.

The girl nodded vigorously. "Yeah, you have no idea. I mean... Where do I start?" She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap, and seemed to be struck with inspiration. "Okay," She said, holding them up, "First of all. This isn't me."

"Oooo...kay?" 

"This, all this," She pressed, circling her finger around her face, "This isn't what I look like. I was made to look like this."

"How do you mean... you used to look different?"

The girl nodded. "My mom tells me that when I was born, I looked like her. I had freckles, and a bigger mouth, and a different nose... But then the fucking godpeople came." She sighed.

"The fairy ones?"

"Yeah, those ones. So... Okay, you know how Princesses used to be a monarchy thing?" She enquired.

"Uh, yeah, vaguely," Ethan nodded.

"Well now it's just a random thing. Maybe because of the march of democracy or something, I don't know. All I do know, is that one day, a few months after you're born, fairy godparents just zap themselves into your fucking nursery and decide you're a Prince or a Princess. There's nothing your parents can do, nothing anybody can do, they just decide it, and that's that."

"So... just for giggles? Why do they pick who they pick?" 

"I don't know. I think they have some reasoning behind it... I mean, they're like magical lawyers, you're right, they've got all these rules and regulations, they've got to have a reason, but... I don't know. Anyhow. So they decide you're a Princess and then you get blessed."

"Blessed?"

"Uh huh. You get some kind of special gift. Three of them usually. So Princes get stuff like Courage, or Strength, or Dashing, or something like that. With Princesses though, it's junk like Grace, or Poise, or Good Posture."

"That last one sounds annoying," Ethan observed.

"I know, right? At least I didn't get saddled with that one," She laughed, gesturing at her slumped frame, "And of course they're never anything useful. I could be happy with, like, Good at Math, or Tells Good Jokes or... I dunno... Remembers Birthdays Really Well."

"Talented Beekeeper," Ethan offered. 

Another laugh, another slipped note. Ethan smiled.

"Yeah, why not? Anything like that. But no. Useless bullshit. And then with Princesses, one of the gifts is always Beauty." She sighed bitterly.

"Seems kinda... subjective," Ethan muttered. 

"Yeah, well not to the Godparents, apparently. When a girl is gifted with Beauty, she doesn't just become a prettier version of herself, or just stays the same and everyone thinks she's beautiful... She actually physically changes. I changed. I used to look different. I used to look like my mom. Now... Now I don't know how I really look anymore. I just look like what the Godparents think is beautiful. Like... like the most baseline kind of beauty they could come up with."

"Wait... So your face-" 

"Not my face. Not my original one at least."

"And your eyes?" 

"Not blue. Mom thinks they might have been Hazel... I don't know." She shrugged defeatedly.

"Oh man, that's a relief!" Ethan blurted.

The girl looked at him, startled. "A relief?"

"Well, yeah, I mean..." Ethan stammered, "I just... There was something odd about you, and it was kinda freaking me out - Not that you're freaky, it's just... You looked... Uh, a little... off?"

She stared at Ethan, face unreadable. "You don't like the way I look?" She asked flatly.

"Yes! I mean no - well wait not no, but..." Ethan could almost hear the sound of a shovel pitching dirt out of his grave.

"It's okay, seriously, do you?"

Ethan gave a small, high laugh. "Uh... Well, I mean yeah, you look pretty... and everything... but it's kind of... Uh... boring? Oh wow, that came out wrong. Just not... Interesting. Wow, still wrong!" 

"No no, it's okay!" She replied. Ethan was flabbergasted to find her smiling.

"I-I like your hair though. The cut I mean," He offered.

"Oh," Her smile grew, "Thanks. I cut it myself. Every day."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Turns out when they make you beautiful, they want you to stay beautiful, according to their standards. So, wounds don't scar, piercings fuse up, tattoo ink beads up and falls off. And your hair just grows and grows and fucking grows."

"Holy cow, that's weird," Ethan breathed. 

"Right!?" She exclaimed. "I once tried to put on purple lipstick and it melted in the tube! Doesn't do that with pink or light red. Such bullshit."

"So, you cut your hair and wear uh, Un-Princessey clothes because..."

"Because it's the only way I can be myself," She murmured quietly.

Ethan was silent for a moment. He looked at the beautiful face that wasn't hers and saw a sorrow beneath it that she seemed to own all too much.

"Jeez, that sounds... Bogus," He offered lamely.

She laughed. "Understatement of the year, but yeah. But I mean, that's not really the worst of it. Not by a longshot."

"Oh?" Ethan ventured.

"It's not enough to take your identity, they fucking own your life. From the moment you're Princessified, you belong to them. You don't get to choose where you live, where you go to school, what you want to do with your life. No, you're as good as a slave from that point on."

"Seriously?"

The girl nodded. "On your fourteenth birthday, right? The godparents show up, and give you a Curse. Something to begin your trials. Maybe you bite a bad apple, maybe you run into a vindictive goblin, maybe you drop candle wax on a bear..."

"What?"

"Don't ask. Anyhow, they give you this curse to hang over your head for the rest of your life. Once it gets activated, you're locked in. The contest for your hand starts, and congratulations, you've lost any control you had over your life. You're just fucking Prince bait from then on."

"Okay, wait, but... Why? I've been thinking this since you passed out on my floor... Why? Why bother, why all the trouble and magic and rules? Why marry off Princesses? What's the point?"

"I don't know. It seems insane, right? All this pageantry. They practically devote themselves to forcing this weird routine... Again, I mean... there's gotta be a reason. If you ask them they'll tell you it's all about True Love."

"Trademark," Ethan added absently.

"Oh my god, you got that too!?" The girl exclaimed. "It's like they own the patent on Tru Wuv or something. So fucking annoying. It's always True Love this, and True Love that. Which is bullshit. I mean, my parents met when they were in college. They both liked bad horror movies and jazz music. They traveled the world together on like, five bucks and a prayer. Dad proposed with a twist tie ring. That... That seems like True Love to me. I don't get any of that. I can't even date!"

"At all?" Ethan asked, very conscious of trying to sound casual.

"Nope. Do you know what happens if you try to kiss a Princess if you aren't a Prince?"

"No. I get the feeling it's ominous though." 

"You get turned into a frog. No fucking kidding. An actual frog. One of my childhood friends found that out the hard way, got an inch away from my lips and suddenly he's hopping. I cried for like, six days before the godparents showed up and changed him back." She'd begun to talk very fast, her face flushed. Ethan began to get the sensation that she'd forgotten she was even talking to anyone else. "If anyone tried to cop a feel, my clothes go all rigid. Like steel. No matter what I wear. They refuse to come off. For like, an hour. You know how hard that makes doctor's visits? Even though Princesses never really get sick... And even when I'm naked? Anyone who comes within eyeshot is left blind and paralyzed, and it doesn't wear off until I put clothes on!"

Ethan gulped, his face burning. "Uhhhh...."

"Because GOD FORBID anyone take my chastity! No! Gotta save that for our Princes! Gotta be pure, and demure, and fucking CHASTE. I'm twenty two years old dude, and I still haven't lost my...!"

She trailed off. Ethan heard her breath go out in a little dwindling squeak. He felt her eyes on the side of his head, but he stared devoutly at the floorboards.

They sat. They fidgeted. Ethan coughed twice.

Eventually, Ethan couldn't resist sneaking a look at her face. She looked embarrassed, yes. But also a little... Worn down. A little defeated. And more than a little scared.

"Hey," Ethan said quietly, breaking the silence, "I'm, uh... Sorry. About this. That all sounds really, really awful."

She looked up, a small smile tracing her face.

"I'm sorry about your hair," He continued, "And your life, and, uh, you know... your chastity." He finished with a slight break of his voice.

She burst into giggles, and Ethan was strangely delighted to hear her little snort crop up again. He found himself grinning.

"Thanks." She replied once she'd caught her breath. "And I'm sorry too. About all the stupid shit I said, and your shop, and all the trouble I've caused," She paused, looked towards the door, "And, um... Sorry about your parents."

Ethan's smile disappeared. "Why are you sorry about that? You didn't even know them."

"Yeah, but I mean... They're gone, right?" She asked quietly.

Ethan closed his eyes. Nodded.

"And that sucks, right?"

He nodded again.

"So... I'm sorry. And I'm really sorry I stopped you from seeing them," She added, her voice heavy with sincerity.

Ethan gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry about it. It's just a dream, right?"

Another moment's silence. This time broken by the girl.

"Hey. What's your name?"

Ethan looked up, smiled wryly. "Oh. I'm Ethan. Ethan Green."

The girl smirked, a strangely incongruent expression on a Princess's face. 

"Green? You own a Grocer's and your name is-?"

"Yeah yeah, hilarious right? Trust me, you haven't said anything my friend hasn't already. Repeatedly," Ethan replied with a sigh.

"Sorry," She giggled, "Uh. Well, my name's Penny."

"Penny," Ethan repeated, trying it out, "Penny what?"

She blushed. "Uh, Pierce," She mumbled.

Ethan laughed. "So wait, you're-?"

"Princess Penny Pierce." She groaned.

"Oh wow." Ethan chuckled, "And you thought my name was funny?"

"Would you believe I knew a girl whose last name was Prince? The godpeople referred to her as Princess Prince. Confused the hell out of everyone."

Both she and Ethan began to laugh, and kept laughing for longer than was truly warranted for such a small comment. They'd start to calm down, and then glance at each other and be set off all over again. On some level, Ethan understood that this was because they'd both reached a point in their stress and strangeness where they could either laugh, or cry. Laughter just seemed like the more enjoyable option.

As Ethan's giggles subsided, he looked at Penny, and suddenly saw in her... a person.

He'd seen a Pretty Girl at first, and then a Princess, and then a Pain in the Ass, but now, she was just a Person, and like that, all his awkwardness dissolved. 

"Well," He smiled, extending a hand, "It's nice to meet you, Penny Pierce," He said, purposely omitting the Princess part.

She grinned back, and Ethan thought there was something fantastically crooked about it this time. "Yeah, nice to meet you too, Ethan Green," She replied sincerely.

She stretched out her hand to meet his. He felt her fingertips brush his palm.

And then everything was tangled blankets and screaming alarms.

[callivich]

@dazzle02 was looking for fics from Ian’s POV. This got me rereading some Ian POV fics I love and then I went down a rabbit hole. I thought I might as well do a rec list. So here’s some of my favourites and some newly discovered gems- it’s a mix of AU and canon divergent/compliant. Enjoy! 💖 If I get some time, I’ll do a Mickey POV list too!

I hit the link limit with this first post so there’s a reblog with more, don’t miss that. I’d love to know everyone’s favourite Ian POV fics so feel free to reblog with your own recs!

Map of the World by westernredcedar

Ian Gallagher knows a lot of geography.

Intro to Quantum Dating by @spoonfulstar

another college au

Everything About You by @gallavichy

Retelling of Like Real People Do from the perspective of Ian. In hopes of saving for his future, Ian Gallagher works nights on kestrel, an iOS app specializing in paid sex services. The rules there are pretty simple: appeal to your clientbase, build fantasies, and maintain appropriate boundaries. This is the story of how Ian breaks every damn rule and falls in love with Mickey Milkovich.

Darkness comes before the Dawn by @creepkinginc @ian-galagher @transmurderbug

Frank's done it again and this time, his actions have consequences in the form of a curse. How to break it is a mystery, as is the quiet, raven haired stranger that shares the woods with Ian. If they want to survive, they have to learn how to make darkness and silence go hand in hand.

hysteria by serenfire

Ian throws the first punch.

oh, deceiver, is it worth it? by segs

ian thinks he'll want to remember this forever, even though he won't.

What Goes Up by ArtsyAfrodite

He’d sling Appletinis tonight for the big tips, and dance on the diamonds he saw in the floor. He glued a smile over the sadness that long settled in the freckles you could barely see now. But he was happy, he was.

Just Enough Time by osointricate

Ian thought he knew what was coming, but he had no idea. This is Ian's point of view on his bipolar disorder.

this is the essence of love and failure by misandrywitch

“You’re sick,” Mickey says. “Hospital,” Mickey says. And your body is numb and your heart is breaking and you run.

put my faith in this hole in the ground by @gardenerian

He stands at the plot for a while before he begins working. This is it. After weeks of internet searches and sketches in his notepad, it’s time to put it all into action. Ian closes his eyes against the afternoon sun, breathes in the smell of dirt and greenery. Thinks about that giver of dreams. Opens them, squeezes the trowel in his hand. He works. He works well. And then: there it is. A goal accomplished. A beginning.

a mountain at my gates by @gardenerian

Ian loves serving cold gin and champagne to the laughing flappers that visit his family's speakeasy. Even as the Gallaghers struggle to build an empire, he thinks the only thing missing is a lover to dance with. Desperate to get out from under his father's thumb, Mickey sets out to undermine the already thriving Milkovich empire. Tasked with taking the Gallagher operation out, Mickey knows to expect violence and danger. But he never could have expected Ian.

to the thawing wind by @gardenerian

Living and working in the icy chill of an endless winter, Ian and his family are assigned to work the farms to bolster food supply. They live quietly enough, following the rules, until Mickey and Mandy Milkovich (with all their secrets) are moved in across the road.

pulling a fiona by littlemoretouchme

"Pulling a Monica. What a fucking joke. His whole life, he’s been pulling a Fiona." [Small moments between Ian and Fiona over the years, based off Cameron Monaghan saying "Fiona and Ian, who were, in many ways, the most stable components of the family… they were the ones who were consistently employed and taking care of people… are now the least stable."]

The Shirt by AlyCalypso

Ian wears Mickey's shirt by accident the first time. But then he wears it again, and again.

Not Your Mother's Love Story by orphan_account

Alternate S7 ending. The phone dinged. Missed call. Ian waited to see if there was a voicemail. He didn't know if he was going to listen to it, if Mickey left a voicemail. Part of him thought he kind of owed it to Mickey. Part of him was sure that if he heard Mickey's voice one more time, if he remembered the way he sounded when he said Ian's name, he was going to fall right back into everything he was trying to escape. There weren't any more dings. No voicemail. Nothing. It should have made Ian feel better.

Selfless Acts of the Illegal Variety by @abundanceofnots

The last thing Ian Gallagher thought he'd be at 19 is married—and to a grumpy Ukrainian bouncer called Mickey who's barely said ten words to him since they first met, no less. But when a rare chance at love knocks on your door, you don't just send the cute guy in dire need of a green card back to his homophobic father in Kyiv, right?

Undead Agents of Chaos by @abundanceofnots

Ian is fourteen when he discovers a comic book series called Undead Agents of Chaos. It’s going to take years before he’ll know what it’s like to lose a heart. First, he has to find out how it feels to have it beat out hard against his ribcage as he stands on the corner of a street, having just produced the most embarrassing sound of his life. It all starts with an unlikely friend.

Part 1 & 5 of Scenes from a Marriage by @abundanceofnots

Hilarity, love and banter ensue as Ian and Mickey navigate their life together as husbands.

young and stupid (left wide open) by @sam-loves-seb

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Mickey barks with no bite. “Can you hear me?” Ian looks up and blinks slowly at Mickey. “Sorry—what?” “Jesus,” Mickey mutters, looking over Ian with a furrowed brow. “I said are you alright?” And, like, half of him wants to say yeah, I’m fine, just forget this ever happened and get your pants off, but the other half of him wants to say no, I’m a mess, can you just come and sit next to me for a while. He doesn’t end up saying either of those things; he doesn’t even come close. // 1x09: what happens after “I need to see you” and “I’ll meet you there in twenty.”

walk away, walk away by @sam-loves-seb

Mickey half-shrugs incredulously at him with glassy eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open. Ian just blinks back at him, thoroughly lost. Mickey’s jaw twitches. “Is this the end?” Ian shakes his head. “The end of what?” “Of us.” // post-canon: ian and mickey have their first big fight as a married couple.

if i could never give you peace by @sam-loves-seb

“You need to get over him,” Lip tells him. “I know,” Ian sighs. “It’s been two months.” “It’s been two years.” And that, more than anything, just makes the rumbling in Ian’s chest pound on his ribs even harder. Because, yeah—it’s been two years since they broke up, but somehow their parting at the border felt more like an ending than their breakup ever did. // post-7x11: ian feels unsettled ever since he left mickey at the mexico border.

hold tight to your umbrella by @sam-loves-seb

Because he is fine. Really, it’s nothing. It’s not that bad. He’s just tired, fatigued from the day and the racing thoughts in his head. It’s nothing he hasn’t felt on a normal day before. It’s nothing for Mickey to worry about. “You sure?” Mickey asks, wrapping his arms around Ian’s waist, hands trapped between Ian’s back and the couch. “Yeah,” Ian tells him, nodding a bit. “I think so.” He’s being honest when he says it, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. // post-canon: ian isn’t feeling quite like himself these days.

i'd like to be my old self again (but i'm still trying to find it) by @sam-loves-seb

Mickey runs his hand over his mouth, staring at the closet and the arrangement of shirts and jackets that looks no more and no less organized than before. “You feelin’ okay?” Something prickles at the back of Ian’s neck. “I feel fine,” he answers, shaking it off. “Why?”“You don’t feel… off?” Ian scoffs. “Because I did the laundry and cleaned the apartment a little bit?” “No… yes?” Mickey winces.“Mickey. What the hell are you even saying?” // post-canon: ian is feeling better, until he’s not.

The Buzz Under His Skin by @palepinkgoat

Set in early S4. See end for mental illness warning/notes. This is definitely not what Ian meant to have happen. He had no idea what this would really be like, when he imagined it. But he never even really imagined it. It was like he snapped his fingers,and he's just here, and this guy is here, and now this is here. Happening. (or: Ian's manic thoughts tend to circle back to one blue-eyed boy.)

Before the Dawn by missmichellebelle

Mickey holds him tighter, and Ian wonders how he can feel like he’s breaking apart into a thousand pieces while being held together.

Rage Against the Dying of the Light by missmichellebelle

Ian still remembers his first visit to therapy, where he expected the chaise lounge for him to lay on and the constant sound of someone scribbling notes. What he’d gotten instead was a regular love seat, and when he’d tried to lay down on it, his therapist had given a startled little laugh and told him that it was, “Quite unnecessary, really.” She never took notes. She never even held a clipboard. She just clasped her hands in her lap and gave Ian her full attention.

superman (dumb fucking magnets) by ArtsyAfrodite

Yeah, Ian wants to be just like him. At least he’ll stick to something, point his arms towards anything.

gotta wait for you, honey by @biblionerd07

Ian's been counting down to his 30th birthday.

every time I think I've lost my way by @biblionerd07

Ian wakes up alone on a road in the woods, and he has to decide if he's going to stay or go.

fix me up by @biblionerd07

Mickey has a lot of scars. Ian has a lot of feelings about those scars.

when you get there you'll know by @biblionerd07

Ian gets out of prison 352 days before Mickey does. They do their best to make it through.

something so wretched about this by @onthepyre

five times ian thought about kissing mickey and one time he actually did

Wishbone by @fangirl-on-fire3

There’s something building, bubbles rolling across frothing water, heat and sound and thick steam curling like an impenetrable wall of humidity over the city. Each time Mickey comes into the store, gives him that predatory look, the rope of tension between them tightens, laden with the tantalizing possibility of more. For someone so stubborn, Mickey's about as flighty as a deer. The slightest threat of a kiss, even Ian looking at his lips for a second too long, always has him bolting.

take your shoes off in the back of my van by @fangirl-on-fire3

After, with the bleachers trickling a slow shower of dust above them, layers of sweat still clinging to their skin, Mickey says, “I missed you.”A storm of starlings break free in Ian’s chest, lurching his heart sideways. It’s beating so fast it might crash straight through his ribs in a violent, bloody mess. “You did?” “Yeah, man. Had to do all the fucking in prison.” Ian wilts.

Something So Pleasant About That Place by @haunted-phantom-student

Five time Ian thinks Mickey is there, and one time he actually is.

Always Darkest Before the Dawn by @haunted-phantom-student

Every time Ian feels himself going low, there’s a moment, a very distinct moment, a moment that confirms that no, he isn’t just tired after a long few days.

I Didn't Know It at Fifteen by @haunted-phantom-student

For a long time, Ian would have said that the thing with Kash started on the tenth of May. He always remembered the exact date because it was the day after his fifteenth birthday, the day he’d come into work with a new mix CD, courtesy of Lip, and a busted nose, courtesy of his father.

Love That's Laid Beside Me by @we-couch

ian's pov of the morning/day after

Glow by @we-couch

Character study of Ian over the years. (s1-7)

Apartment 4A by @we-couch

When the chaos of the Gallagher home gets to be too much, Ian decides to move out. He answers a roommate ad, and gets more than he bargained for.

keeper of the prize by @squidyyy23

Ian and Mickey, growing and learning as they become domino champions, hustle their way through their prison sentences.

Ristretto by @howlinchickhowl

Ian works the late shift at the Tamp and Grind. It's not what he always planned to be doing at 22, but it's a steady paycheck and he doesn't hate it. When he gains a new colleague with a wicked sense of humor and a sinfully hot boyfriend, he starts to think maybe he should be trying to do more with his life than perfecting his latte art.

Love, like a river by @howlinchickhowl

And it’s as Ian’s turning properly to look at him so that Mickey can fully appreciate the eye-roll that Ian feels is the necessary response to his husband being his own special brand of idiot that Mickey’s eyes start to bug in panic and his free hand slaps quickly over his mouth. He’s gonna boot again. Mickey doesn't drink enough water on hot days and Ian thinks that's dumb, but he loves him anyway.

elevator music by @iansfreckles

He’s late, he’s covered in coffee, and he’s trapped in an elevator with the biggest asshole he’s ever met in his life. (Fifteen minutes ago, Ian Gallagher slept through his alarm — and things have only gotten worse since then. OR: Ian moves out on his own, makes an impression on his new neighbor, and learns a thing or two about forgiveness.

details in the fabric by @iansfreckles

Pulling that EMT jacket on for the first time feels a little bit like donning a super suit. Like gearing up to take on the world. (OR Ian's life, as told through clothes)

we'll be a fine line (we'll be alright) by @iansfreckles

“Tried to get a job today. Didn’t work out.” Ian, feeling stiff as a board as he settled beside Mickey on their bed, let out a tight breath. “I know,” he replied after a moment, trying to be patient. He shifted to lay on his back, pointedly not looking to the man beside him, instead staring up at the dark ceiling. “I was there, remember? With the other minimum-wage earning, rotten-pig-smelling bozos.” Alright, so maybe he was hitting petty a little more than patient, tonight. Sue him. (Or an alternate ending to 11x02, where Ian and Mickey actually resolve some tensions)

a sort of fairytale by redkay

By the time Ian is tossed out of the army and makes his reluctant way home, Mickey is long gone.

Sweetpea by @whatthebodygraspsnot

Sweetpea, the stray that eats his neighbors flowers, is a little asshole of a cat. But Ian still hopes to win her over with treats from his lunch and rambling conversation as he tends to his failing garden. Just as he thinks he's starting to get her to like him, everything flips on its head. You see, Sweetpea is not a normal cat. And Sweetpea is not a she.

Customer Satisfaction by @whatthebodygraspsnot

For someone who works at a sex shop, Ian’s love life is tragically dead. That is, until a hot, flirty, tatted up customer decides to enroll in their product review program for the cash. Ian gathers the toys and takes him to the back room for their first session. He’s always kept things very professional at this job - no problems discussing sex-related things at all. But how the hell is he supposed to keep his cool behind the camera and ask corporate’s review questions when he’s got the hottest guy on the planet playing with himself just a few feet away?

How To Bag A Baddie by @whatthebodygraspsnot

Getting a text from a stranger threatening to bash his kneecaps in isn’t something Ian planned for tonight. But he’s intrigued. Call it morbid curiosity, fed by both ends as their conversation continues well past “you’ve got the wrong number”. The more he uncovers about this mystery guy, the more he likes, and the more he wants. Especially when he learns he's not the only one gunning for him. Ian is about to have a very interesting night.

@hornygaythug by @whatthebodygraspsnot

Ian's roommate is pretty. Ian's roommate is kind of an asshole. Ian's roommate posts pictures of himself online and Ian swears to god he's got it under control.

ligature by @catgrassplantdad

It was only a matter of time before they finally hit this moment, before they finally felt like they had enough experience to try this.

sink in by @catgrassplantdad

The pursuits of a married couple just trying to take a damn bath. Why is this so hard to accomplish?

Icarus Is Online by @mishervellous

AnonMate is all everyone is talking about. Ian wants in on it.

I Am the Walls of My Home by @mishervellous

Ian’s journey towards healing and self-acceptance.

Five Times Mickey Wears Ian's Clothes and One Time Ian Wears Mickey's by @teatimeallovertown

A brief look at the journey of Mickey and Ian through the clothes they share

Pink + White by @flamingbluepanda

Ian and Mickey reunite, separate, and reunite again.  (Or, The Early Season 10 Prison Arc we Deserved(TM) )

how to love by proval

Mickey's body's been a bit quieter for a while now, no longer wracked through with those heaving sobs. But Ian gets the feeling if he leaves they'll start up again. Ian POV gap filler for 11x09. Starts after the end of 11x08.

Stages by @dreamylyfe-x

It’s nice for married couples to share interests and experiences. But they didn’t really need their dads to die one after the other like this.

Risk by @dreamylyfe-x

Ian and Mickey figuring out marriage, and each other, in the middle of a global crisis. Canon compliant to the end of season 10.

'Til the Day My Life is Through by @ianrightsonly

Ian is devastated by the thought of Mickey not remembering their first wedding anniversary. He should know better than to ever doubt his husband.

Baby, That's What Makes Us... by @ianrightsonly Ian says no more sex until Mickey gets a job. Mickey says no more sex until Ian gets over himself. Easier said than done, when you’re married and sharing the same bed.

Every Time We Say Goodbye by @ianrightsonly

Ian remembers every kiss he’s ever shared with Mickey. The quick pecks on the cheek; the frantic, biting and bruising makeouts; the slow, languid movements of their mouths against one another. He remembers them all, and he thinks of them often. This kiss though, it’s one of his favorites.

Claim by @gallavictorious

Mickey wants back into Ian's life. Ian wonders if, and how, to let him. Or, the one where the boys conduct their meaningful conversations not by talking but by having sex.

Foreign Country by @gallavictorious

Never returning had not been a conscious choice. Neither was going back. Ian, Kash and Grab, and the memories of good times and bad - and most of all of Mickey.

All You Wanna Do series by @usercelestial

explorations of ians sexual trauma

I Got This by @usercelestial

ian learns to accept help or three times ian deals with it on his own and one time he doesn't have to

The waves come forward, we are traveling together by sadwhales

Ian remembers the first time Mickey ever smiled at him. or, On the night of their wedding, Ian and Mickey talk a little bit about the past, and surprisingly, their feelings.

life of the party by framboise

In which Ian and Mickey are domestic bitches, and deal with some of Ian's memories of those lost months working in the clubs.

These Undomesticated Wilds by @arrowflier

When Ian Gallagher left Chicago behind him to traipse aimlessly through the wilderness, he was hoping to find himself--the self that he had lost when his bipolar diagnosis had his family treating him with kid gloves and his boyfriend annoyed with his melancholic acceptance of his new life. He wasn't looking for a rescue. But when he's injured on a hike through the woods in southern Indiana, a rescue is what he gets. And if he's lucky, he might find a little more than he was looking for.

Bold Will Hold by @smokey-mickey

Ian tries to play it cool as he’s greeted with bright blue eyes standing out against pale skin. Ian can see the edges of tattoos poking out of his jacket at his neck and wrists, and a simple silver nose ring in his right nostril. Awkward yet adorable Tattoo AU.

body and mind by @unbridgeabledistances

He immediately pushes the thought down. He doesn’t fucking need that anymore to keep his head above water; he’s stable, he’s loved, he’s fed. He’s growing organic tomatoes, and definitely developing a farmer’s tan from his days hunched over their way-too-tiny community garden plot, tenderly watering and pruning the vines and brambles. He's desired. So it doesn’t make fucking sense that the hunger, the clawing in his stomach for an absence, doesn’t really stop. or, ian’s body image through the years (based on the tumblr prompt: ian struggling with eating once they move to the west side)

kings of the southside by @unbridgeabledistances

The storefronts on the block were different now— fragile minimalist displays and organic coffee shops uprooting the aged wooden bar signs with peeling paint and bullet holes— but against all odds, and with everyone else moving on, he and Mickey had decided to stay. (or, a canon divergent fic in which ian and mickey stay on the southside and take over the alibi)

we’re the center of our universe by @unbridgeabledistances

It wasn’t like Ian wanted to bring up the conversation again, about monogamy and boundaries and fuck-knows-what-else; but these past few weeks had been hard, like something cavernous was cracking and splintering between them. Their banter had slowly turned less and less humorous, and more pointed and jagged, about who was the breadwinner and who was the “man”; and even though they’d patched it up and built small bridges between them, and had hung off of each other’s bodies at Lip’s apartment the night Ian had brought up the monogamy conversation for the first time, Ian couldn’t help but feel the weight of the things unsaid wriggling and rustling inside him, like a germinating seed about to bloom. or, a communicative little one-shot of ian and mickey discussing their boundaries and processing traumas

The Second-Time Commitment by ListenListen223

Ian levels out after a manic episode, 74 hours into an involuntary hospitalization. Mickey won't bust him out, and insists that he got him to the best hospital in Chicago, so Ian better get better. Surrounded by people who think that the stuff they've been through is maybe a little bit serious, Ian and Mickey have to decide what's worth talking about, and what to leave on the South side. At least for the next 70 hours.

Because…You’re My Husband by @wildxwired

“Monica would have loved today.”

Last of a Dying Breed by @wildxwired

After the death of his sociopathic PO, Ian’s sent to work at XK9, the dog rescue that gives second chances to the unwanted pets and ex-cons of the southside — and it just so happens to be run by the most unlikely success story of them all.

There Are Places You Belong by @livinginsunnyhell

He knew he had his siblings, but sometimes they were so caught up in their own stuff, they couldn’t be there in the way he needed. Mickey was. Mickey always had been. He was his home after all. Ian and Mickey adjust to the West Side and grow closer in their second year of marriage.

your voice is the sound of sirens (to a house on fire) by hypernomad

Ian learns how to read; he never really learns how to stop. When he’s six, he reads Alice in Wonderland and wonders, vaguely, if Lewis Carroll was actually predicting the life of a certain freckled redhead in Chicago with an alcoholic father and an erratic mother. It certainly seems that way at times. His life is a psychedelic mess of being left at the roadside with his brother and sisters, being “given” to random women in the street by his stoned mother, and blinking ash out of his eyes after his father drunkenly throws an ashtray at him for looking like his uncle. The thought is fleeting and he shakes it away as quickly as it comes.

saut dans le vide, my lover by armsoftheocean

When Ian sees Mickey’s smiling response, he can’t help but smile wider with his eyes lighting up and he knows he looks fucking ridiculous; beaming as if Mickey had handed him the key to the universe, but his heart is thrumming with happiness and fuck, he’s so far gone that he doesn’t even give a shit. 

[silverskye13]

Hello everyone today I am nitpicking a book.

Recently I joined a local book club [very excited to be going to an in-person one!] and their monthly reading was Red Rising by Pierce Brown, a book published back in 2014. This is a book that's been recommended to me a thousand times now by the various reading apps I've collected, but I have shied away from committing to it because it's marketed as a Hunger Games style Dystopia, except in space. And, as someone who wasn't a big fan of The Hunger Games when I read them, I didn't feel like opening the can of worms.

Now, Red Rising surprised me by how much I ended up liking it -- though I did spend 90% of the book screaming I'm sorry these kids are all 16?! They do not act like 16 year olds, but by the end of the book the world building for their actions made sense, so I've since disregarded that [though every time someone does murder like a hardened soldier I do still clutch my pearls a little. Like yeah I'm sure child serial killers exist but not everyone here is a serial killer, goodness.]

Anyway! That's not what I'm critiquing. I'm critiquing the use of "girl" and "woman-ish" as an insult in this dystopian world.

Context for my critique, and spoilers for the plot of Red Rising:

Darrow is a Red, in a world where your birth color influences your caste in a heavily stratified society. The Society keeps Reds enslaved under the surface of Mars, toiling away for H3, the valuable resource needed to terraform worlds [and also, it is later revealed, to power space ships for war]. They are a very Appalachian / Irish style mining community, with a patriarchal culture. Women do not work in the mines because men are stronger and needed for the brutal work. In the first book it's implied it's very rare for a woman to want to work in mining, in the second book it's revealed to be flat-out illegal. The women in the deep Red mines are often victims of assault and violence because the families are so poor, they have to sell their bodies and services for food and medicine. It's a great shame to their husbands, and many a blood feud has been started over this.

Darrow's wife, Io, by contrast to this patriarchal society, is strong willed and powerful. Darrow describes her as having a "spark for life", the desire to have more than what they're given. Unfortunately, this leads to her death, jump-starting Darrow's rage and revenge arc against those who killed her -- the Golds.

The Golds are the ruling class. Genetically modified to be the perfect incarnations of humanity, when you first meet a Gold, they are described by Darrow as looking like gods on earth. They fly with hover boots, regard the castes below them as animals akin to dogs and horses, and generally sip from the cup of prosperity. Through plot convention, Darrow is given the chance to become a Gold to try and take down The Society from inside, and so spends the rest of the story in a Lord of the Flies style school for war-like Golds, trying to prove he's the best of them, so he can get command of a fleet and come back to raze Mars.

The Gold Society is not patriarchal. They value strength, and might makes right. Their leader, Peerless Scarred Octavia, is a woman, and she is greatly feared and admired. The school Darrow is taken to is filled with just as many ruthless women as men. Both are expected to hunt and kill and survive in equal measure. One of the leaders of one of the other war bands is a woman who goes by Mustang, and she out-wits and out-fights Darrow several times before the plot eventually allows them to be friends/lovers. One of Darrow's biggest rivals in his own war band is Antonia, a cut-throat woman who betrays him twice, and eventually kills someone trying to blackmail him into giving himself up -- something heavily frowned upon in the weird little Lord of the Flies war school. And equal number of the Peerless Scarred proctors for this school are women as they are men. Women are featured almost calculatedly 50/50 in battle scenes as proficient fighters -- namely when theyre coming from other warbands, not Darrow's, but that seems like authoral preference for writing male characters so I'll let that slide. The point here is: The Golds don't care about gender. Women are allowed to be and are encouraged to be just as ruthless as men, and the most terrifying leader of them all is a woman.

The most popular insult in this book is "woman-ish". It happens a lot. And Darrow is far from the only character that does it, and that's the problem I have with this book.

It makes sense for Darrow to insult other men by calling them girls, or girlish. He was raised in a patriarchal society, where women have expected and enforced roles. They get married, they have children, they try not to shame their husbands. They are strong in the way a homemaker is strong, sacrificing virtuously for their male children and husbands so someone can work the mines and bring them food. Io, Darrow's wife, is an outlier to this caste of stereotypical home makers, but she still performs her wifely duties of loving her husband wholeheartedly well. It is only her desire for more that dooms her, and the fact that, when the story begins, her resolve and conviction makes her a stronger character than Darrow. It's something he openly admits many times. But it's reiterated again and again that she is an outlier. Normal women aren't like this.

However, the Golds live in a world where women are equal to men. The greatest goal is strength and might, the largest sin weakness. To be weak is to be damned. You're not worth following as a leader, if you're weak. Worse than that, you deserve misfortunes if you're perceived as weak. Darrow's "weakness" as a character is hammered out of him by cruel people with zero concern for the wreckage they leave in their paths. A common insult is to be called a "Pixie", that is, a gold who is resting on their family lineage to move up in the world instead of actually getting their hands dirty. Insults about weakness, and softness, are the ones that matter.

But the author chooses to freight those insults with references to women. There are so many times when a character is called out for "being a girl." That they need to "be a man, you soft little baby." "What are you, a woman?" Characters are proved to be flawed because "He was a giant warrior of a man, who had a girlish laugh". "He was tall and thin, with womanish hair and eyelashes." "He had a soft, womanish voice." And some of this is definitely Darrow, yes. It makes sense for Darrow to attribute some female traits to softness and weakness. But there are Golds, raised from day 1 in The Society who do this too! Who talk about being scornful because a man was too girly. Who view women as inherently weak. There's an entire arc early on where a male Gold assaults a bunch of women, and the raining consensus is not "How could you rape someone you monster!" But instead "How could you rape a woman, you monster!" A statement which implies women are weaker and can't be expected to defend themselves, and this character is worse for taking advantage of the inherently weak.

It makes absolutely no sense to me! And I'm sure it's author bias, right? The book was published in 2014, and popular media even then was still waffling over how to portray female equality without taking on artifacts of the 80s and 90s. But, I don't know man. There is so much good world building in this book? How the society works. How something as small as the slang you use can identify you as a traitor. How the genetic grafts and enhancements work -- how the labor is decided and why. There is a lot of intentional word choice to do with the Romans, because the Golds are very obviously ripping off Roman war culture. And you're telling me you were intentional about all of that, and still couldn't figure out how to insult someone without calling them a girl?

Author?? Help??

[boringkate]

whats the secret of good self butt photography how do i capture there glory and not throw out my back

1) Get something to hold your phone. Dollarama (if you're canadian) has these like $4 goose neck phone clip things that you can clip onto a chair or whatever and are pretty great, but if you can spare a little more money (and you expect to use it enough to justify it) then get a proper tripod (I use a couple 60 inch amazon basics tripods, but it seems like they've gotten more expensive and other brands are probably no worse) and pair it with a screw on phone tripod mount (aliexpress has them for a couple dollars and you can even get rotating ones that'll let you film in portrait mode).

2) Use a free auto clicker app (I'm on android, but I assume ios has them too) to automatically tap the button to take a photo every 4 or 5 seconds. You're gonna end up with a lot of wasted photos where you're just getting into position, but that's fine (just delete em). I wildly prefer this over using a bluetooth remote because it keeps your hands free and something about not needing to choose to snap the photo makes it easier (the time passes faster and you'll end up with more usable pics which is dope even if you just want one good one because the way to take a good pic is to take a lot of bad ones untill you get lucky).

3) Set up a way for you to see what the camera sees. You could plug your phone into a monitor or tv using an hdmi adapter or use a free screen streaming app to watch your phone's screen on a laptop.

4) Use the camera on the back. It's always higher quality. The selfie camera is only for when you don't wanna deal with those first three steps.

5) Natural light is your BFF. Take your pics while the sun is out and your curtains are open.

6) Filter your pics. I use an app called MIX (specifically an old build of it bc they changed some stuff like their payment model for the batch image filtering feature) (which is definitely on both Android and iOS), but I imagine there are a ton of others that do all the same stuff. I loath smoothing for face pics, but it can be alright for butt pics. Noise can further obscure stubble. You're probably gonna wanna raise the temperature and maybe even the tint (people look unwell when their skin is more blue or green than it should be). Lowering the contrast can be nice too. Beyond that it can be fun to just experement and see what looks nice.

That's my process anyways. You do you. I know a lot of hotties are more into the pink blue lighting thing for example (you can get colored bulbs at the dollar store and stick em on a couple cheap thrift shop lamps) and I could especially see that being appealing if you aren't getting much natural light (pls don't just be taking nudes at night under the harsh light of your apartment's one shitty ceiling lamp lol).

Bonus protip: If you are using a lamp or lamps or softboxes and you want extra brightness then you can get E27 lamp bulb splitters online for a couple dollars that'll let you plug multiple bulbs into a single lamp.

Bonus bonus protip: Keep an eye out for selfie sticks with a screw on the base. I use a gimbal extension rod with a 1/4 inch screw paired with a hinge (and had previously been using a selfie stick with a screw on the bottom which was cheaper although it eventually broke) and screw it in between my tripod and my phone clip so that I can get my phone hovering over my bed (without the instability that comes from actually putting your tripod on your bed). It's very optional, but it does rule.

[wip]

I’ve been getting notifications about people adding gifs that are credited to me to their posts. These are not my gifs. I assume this is a glitch that must tie back to some update on the site and likely won’t be fixed anytime soon, but is there at least a way to turn off these specific types of notifications?

Answer: Hey, @iguanodonwildman!

Thanks for this. We have contacted you directly for more information, but we also have some suggestions we would like to share.

If you upload a GIF to a post (instead of inserting a link to one or using the GIF search), that GIF becomes inadvertently “yours.” Also, keep in mind that folks can edit their post to replace your GIF at any time after the notification is sent. It would certainly be nice if there were a notification type that could be muted, separately from others (and may we take this chance to say that we would love to build this one day, only it is not clear when. While we would like to add it… we’ve got a lot of other things we need to build first.) 

So, as there isn’t right now, if you are uploading a GIF to your post instead of inserting it, here are some temporary solutions:

First, try to avoid uploading or reposting other people’s GIFs, and use the GIF search when possible.

Alternatively, you could also copy the link to a GIF already hosted on Tumblr and paste that link into the post editor. It will insert that GIF without them needing to download and reupload it.

For those unsure how to copy image links, you right-click and select “Copy Image Link.” On Android, you tap and hold on an image, select “Share photo,” and copy the URL. iOS does not provide a way for us to do this in our iOS app. 

Alternatively, what works well is that you can get the first GIF in any post by pasting the post’s permalink into the GIF search. Bonus point: this will also embed any static image like a GIF, complete with a credit link. The only downside is that only the first image is returned, so GIFsets are out of the question unless you want to use the first GIF.

We hope this helps, and thanks for getting in touch with this. 

[warframestuff]

Tenno,

With the arrival of Jade Shadows on Tuesday, June 18th, we would like to help prepare you for the Update with some rough update sizes on each platform:

PC: ~1.15 GB

Playstation 4: ~1.30 GB

Playstation 5: ~4.00 GB

Xbox One: ~2.67 GB

Xbox Series: ~2.72 GB

Nintendo Switch: ~1.22 GB

iOS: ~1.00 GB*

Total Warframe Download Sizes:

For new Tenno who are downloading the game for the first time and the Tenno who are curious about how much space Warframe uses on their device, we’ve included the total build size of Warframe per platform:

PC: 39.5 GB

Playstation 4: 43.33 GB

Playstation 5: 48.06 GB

Xbox One: 49.7 GB

Xbox Series: 49.9 GB

Nintendo Switch: 18.87 GB

iOS: 12.3 GB

*iOS Download Size & Changes Note:

A note for our iOS Tenno as we are moving the Awakening Quest (tutorial) into the initial App Store install with the release of Jade Shadows.

Previously, the initial App Store install was roughly 100MB, and the rest of the game would download in the launcher. Now, the initial app install will be roughly 3.9GB (which can be downloaded in the background like other apps) and you can launch the game to play the Awakening Quest far sooner, allowing new Tenno to jump into the action much faster.

What To Expect:

In order for the above changes to take place, all iOS Tenno will need to redownload the 3.9GB app from the App Store after Jade Shadows launches on June 18th. Upon the launch of the update, you will receive an “Update Available” popup as usual and be redirected to the App Store to do so. We appreciate your patience and understanding!

Delve into the mysterious backstory of the Stalker tomorrow! The truth can’t hide in the darkness forever.

[when-life-gives-you-lemons-if]

Hi there! I'm a twine game developer and I noticed you'd converted your games to be used on Steam and the Google Play store. I'd love to ask a few questions about this, if that's okay? 1. What tools/methods did you use to convert your Twine game to APK? Did you come across any limits with file sizes and game dependencies? e.g. Images pushing you over the 100mb limit? 2. As above, but what tools/methods did you use to get Twine into an executable for Steam? Were there any hiccups here? 3. If you had to make a text-based game with gamified elements and graphics (and you wanted it on Steam/Android, and to retain screen reader capabilities) would you do it in Twine again, or would you use another engine or solution such as Ren'py, Godot, Unreal, etc? Thank you so much for your time!

Hi.

Under the cut, you'll find a list of videos and links that helped me put the game on Steam and Android.

Feel free to ask any questions as you go through the process—some steps aren't detailed here, as a few things currently escape my memory.

To be able to publish your game on Steam, Google Play, or Apple store, you need to create an account.

Follow the steps on this video to create an account on Steam:

Or this one:

This is the Steam work page to start:

Follow this step for google Play

Twine game needs to be repacked as app before you can publish them.

To repack your Twine games, use these steps:

For Google, you'll need an Android repacker. You can use this one below: (This site is not free)

Here is how to use it (Skip to 3:01 minutes)

For point #1, I had no issues with size or image limit. Steam does give you different ways to upload depending on the size of your game.

For point #2, there will be hiccups and errors when you try to complete this checklist on Steam, but again, watch the videos and send some questions my way, I'll help as much as I can.

For point #3, I have no idea about the Screen Reader part. I know Twine is good for it, but personally, I don't plan on using Twine any longer, I'm moving to Renpy because it's are easier for me as of now.

Side note: Be sure to watch even more videos than those listed and don't hesitate to do additional research on Google whenever you feel stuck. Most questions and answers are already out there, so a quick search can often point you in the right direction.

If you still need help, feel free to send your questions my way!

[wolfliving]

Pebble the wearable back from a long death

I started working on Pebble in 2008 to create the product of my dreams. Smartwatches didn’t exist, so I set out to build one. I’m extraordinarily happy I was able to help bring Pebble to life, alongside the core team and community. The company behind it failed but millions of Pebbles in the world kept going, many of them still to this day.

I wear my Pebble every day. It's been great (and I'm astounded it’s lasted 10 years!), but the time has come for new hardware.

You’d imagine that smartwatches have evolved considerably since 2012. I've tried every single smart watch out there, but none do it for me. No one makes a smartwatch with the core set of features I want:

Always-on e-paper screen (it’s reflective rather than emissive. Sunlight readable. Glanceable. Not distracting to others like a bright wrist)

Long battery life (one less thing to charge. It’s annoying to need extra cables when traveling)

Simple and beautiful user experience around a core set of features I use regularly (telling time, notifications, music control, alarms, weather, calendar, sleep/step tracking)

Buttons! (to play/pause/skip music on my phone without looking at the screen)

Hackable (apparently you can’t even write your own watchfaces for Apple Watch? That is wild. There were >16k watchfaces on the Pebble appstore!)

Over the years, we’ve thought about making a new smartwatch. Manufacturing hardware for a product like Pebble is infinitely easier now than 10 years ago. There are plenty of capable factories and Bluetooth chips are cheaper, more powerful and energy efficient.

The challenge has always been, at its heart, software. It’s the beautifully designed, fun, quirky operating system (OS) that makes Pebble a Pebble.

Today’s big news - Google has open sourced PebbleOS!

PebbleOS took dozens of engineers working over 4 years to build, alongside our fantastic product and QA teams. Reproducing that for new hardware would take a long time. 

Instead, we took a more direct route - I asked friends at Google (which bought Fitbit, which had bought Pebble’s IP) if they could open source PebbleOS. They said yes! Over the last year, a team inside Google (including some amazing ex-Pebblers turned Googlers) has been working on this. And today is the day - the source code for PebbleOS is now available at github.com/google/pebble (see their blog post).

Thank you, Google and Rebble! I can't stress how thankful I am to Rebble and Google, in general and to a few Googlers specifically, for putting in tremendous effort over the last year to make this happen. You've helped keep the dream alive by making it possible for anyone to use, fork and improve PebbleOS. The Rebble team has also done a ton of work over the years to continue supporting Pebble software, appstore and community. Thank you!

In addition to PebbleOS, we’ve been supporting development of Cobble, an open source Pebble-compatible app for iOS (soon) and Android (works great today, it’s my daily driver).

We’re bringing Pebble back!

I had really, really, really hoped that someone else would come along and build a Pebble replacement. But no one has. So… a small team and I are diving back into the world of hardware to bring Pebble back!

This time round, we’re keeping things simple. Lessons were learned last time! I’m building a small, narrowly focused company to make these watches. I don’t envision raising money from investors, or hiring a big team. The emphasis is on sustainability. I want to keep making cool gadgets and keep Pebble going long into the future.

The new watch we’re building basically has the same specs and features as Pebble, though with some fun new stuff as well 😉 It runs open source PebbleOS, and it’s compatible with all Pebble apps and watchfaces. If you had a Pebble and loved it…this is the smartwatch for you.

More info to come soon! Follow the fun with @ericmigi and @pebble.

Are you like me?

Do you have a hole in your heart (and on your wrist) that hasn't been filled by any other smartwatch? 

Sign up to be the first to get one at rePebble.com. 

Eric Migicovsky

Pebble Founder

FAQ

When can I buy one?

As soon as we nail down the product specifications and get a firm idea of the production timeline, we'll share it with everyone on the list and invite people to order.

Will it be exactly like Pebble?

Yes. In almost every way. 

Aren’t you the guy who screwed this up last time?

Yes, the one and only. I think I’ve learned some valuable lessons. 

[souhaillaghchimdev]

How to Build Software Projects for Beginners

Building software projects is one of the best ways to learn programming and gain practical experience. Whether you want to enhance your resume or simply enjoy coding, starting your own project can be incredibly rewarding. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you get started.

1. Choose Your Project Idea

Select a project that interests you and is appropriate for your skill level. Here are some ideas:

To-do list application

Personal blog or portfolio website

Weather app using a public API

Simple game (like Tic-Tac-Toe)

2. Define the Scope

Outline what features you want in your project. Start small and focus on the minimum viable product (MVP) — the simplest version of your idea that is still functional. You can always add more features later!

3. Choose the Right Tools and Technologies

Based on your project, choose the appropriate programming languages, frameworks, and tools:

Web Development: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, React, or Django

Mobile Development: Flutter, React Native, or native languages (Java/Kotlin for Android, Swift for iOS)

Game Development: Unity (C#), Godot (GDScript), or Pygame (Python)

4. Set Up Your Development Environment

Install the necessary software and tools:

Code editor (e.g., Visual Studio Code, Atom, or Sublime Text)

Version control (e.g., Git and GitHub for collaboration and backup)

Frameworks and libraries (install via package managers like npm, pip, or gems)

5. Break Down the Project into Tasks

Divide your project into smaller, manageable tasks. Create a to-do list or use project management tools like Trello or Asana to keep track of your progress.

6. Start Coding!

Begin with the core functionality of your project. Don’t worry about perfection at this stage. Focus on getting your code to work, and remember to:

Write clean, readable code

Test your code frequently

Commit your changes regularly using Git

7. Test and Debug

Once you have a working version, thoroughly test it. Look for bugs and fix any issues you encounter. Testing ensures your software functions correctly and provides a better user experience.

8. Seek Feedback

Share your project with friends, family, or online communities. Feedback can provide valuable insights and suggestions for improvement. Consider platforms like GitHub to showcase your work and get input from other developers.

9. Iterate and Improve

Based on feedback, make improvements and add new features. Software development is an iterative process, so don’t hesitate to refine your project continuously.

10. Document Your Work

Write documentation for your project. Include instructions on how to set it up, use it, and contribute. Good documentation helps others understand your project and can attract potential collaborators.

Conclusion

Building software projects is a fantastic way to learn and grow as a developer. Follow these steps, stay persistent, and enjoy the process. Remember, every project is a learning experience that will enhance your skills and confidence!