#how to get to the top of google without paying

[cranberrymoons]

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[louderfade]

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Even if you think AI search could be good, it won’t be good

TONIGHT (May 15), I'm in NORTH HOLLYWOOD for a screening of STEPHANIE KELTON'S FINDING THE MONEY; FRIDAY (May 17), I'm at the INTERNET ARCHIVE in SAN FRANCISCO to keynote the 10th anniversary of the AUTHORS ALLIANCE.

The big news in search this week is that Google is continuing its transition to "AI search" – instead of typing in search terms and getting links to websites, you'll ask Google a question and an AI will compose an answer based on things it finds on the web:

https://blog.google/products/search/generative-ai-google-search-may-2024/

Google bills this as "let Google do the googling for you." Rather than searching the web yourself, you'll delegate this task to Google. Hidden in this pitch is a tacit admission that Google is no longer a convenient or reliable way to retrieve information, drowning as it is in AI-generated spam, poorly labeled ads, and SEO garbage:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/03/keyword-swarming/#site-reputation-abuse

Googling used to be easy: type in a query, get back a screen of highly relevant results. Today, clicking the top links will take you to sites that paid for placement at the top of the screen (rather than the sites that best match your query). Clicking further down will get you scams, AI slop, or bulk-produced SEO nonsense.

AI-powered search promises to fix this, not by making Google search results better, but by having a bot sort through the search results and discard the nonsense that Google will continue to serve up, and summarize the high quality results.

Now, there are plenty of obvious objections to this plan. For starters, why wouldn't Google just make its search results better? Rather than building a LLM for the sole purpose of sorting through the garbage Google is either paid or tricked into serving up, why not just stop serving up garbage? We know that's possible, because other search engines serve really good results by paying for access to Google's back-end and then filtering the results:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

Another obvious objection: why would anyone write the web if the only purpose for doing so is to feed a bot that will summarize what you've written without sending anyone to your webpage? Whether you're a commercial publisher hoping to make money from advertising or subscriptions, or – like me – an open access publisher hoping to change people's minds, why would you invite Google to summarize your work without ever showing it to internet users? Nevermind how unfair that is, think about how implausible it is: if this is the way Google will work in the future, why wouldn't every publisher just block Google's crawler?

A third obvious objection: AI is bad. Not morally bad (though maybe morally bad, too!), but technically bad. It "hallucinates" nonsense answers, including dangerous nonsense. It's a supremely confident liar that can get you killed:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/sep/01/mushroom-pickers-urged-to-avoid-foraging-books-on-amazon-that-appear-to-be-written-by-ai

The promises of AI are grossly oversold, including the promises Google makes, like its claim that its AI had discovered millions of useful new materials. In reality, the number of useful new materials Deepmind had discovered was zero:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/23/maximal-plausibility/#reverse-centaurs

This is true of all of AI's most impressive demos. Often, "AI" turns out to be low-waged human workers in a distant call-center pretending to be robots:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/31/neural-interface-beta-tester/#tailfins

Sometimes, the AI robot dancing on stage turns out to literally be just a person in a robot suit pretending to be a robot:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

The AI video demos that represent "an existential threat to Hollywood filmmaking" turn out to be so cumbersome as to be practically useless (and vastly inferior to existing production techniques):

https://www.wheresyoured.at/expectations-versus-reality/

But let's take Google at its word. Let's stipulate that:

a) It can't fix search, only add a slop-filtering AI layer on top of it; and

b) The rest of the world will continue to let Google index its pages even if they derive no benefit from doing so; and

c) Google will shortly fix its AI, and all the lies about AI capabilities will be revealed to be premature truths that are finally realized.

AI search is still a bad idea. Because beyond all the obvious reasons that AI search is a terrible idea, there's a subtle – and incurable – defect in this plan: AI search – even excellent AI search – makes it far too easy for Google to cheat us, and Google can't stop cheating us.

Remember: enshittification isn't the result of worse people running tech companies today than in the years when tech services were good and useful. Rather, enshittification is rooted in the collapse of constraints that used to prevent those same people from making their services worse in service to increasing their profit margins:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags

These companies always had the capacity to siphon value away from business customers (like publishers) and end-users (like searchers). That comes with the territory: digital businesses can alter their "business logic" from instant to instant, and for each user, allowing them to change payouts, prices and ranking. I call this "twiddling": turning the knobs on the system's back-end to make sure the house always wins:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

What changed wasn't the character of the leaders of these businesses, nor their capacity to cheat us. What changed was the consequences for cheating. When the tech companies merged to monopoly, they ceased to fear losing your business to a competitor.

Google's 90% search market share was attained by bribing everyone who operates a service or platform where you might encounter a search box to connect that box to Google. Spending tens of billions of dollars every year to make sure no one ever encounters a non-Google search is a cheaper way to retain your business than making sure Google is the very best search engine:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

Competition was once a threat to Google; for years, its mantra was "competition is a click away." Today, competition is all but nonexistent.

Then the surveillance business consolidated into a small number of firms. Two companies dominate the commercial surveillance industry: Google and Meta, and they collude to rig the market:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

That consolidation inevitably leads to regulatory capture: shorn of competitive pressure, the companies that dominate the sector can converge on a single message to policymakers and use their monopoly profits to turn that message into policy:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

This is why Google doesn't have to worry about privacy laws. They've successfully prevented the passage of a US federal consumer privacy law. The last time the US passed a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988. It's a law that bans video store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you rented:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

In Europe, Google's vast profits lets it fly an Irish flag of convenience, thus taking advantage of Ireland's tolerance for tax evasion and violations of European privacy law:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

Google doesn't fear competition, it doesn't fear regulation, and it also doesn't fear rival technologies. Google and its fellow Big Tech cartel members have expanded IP law to allow it to prevent third parties from reverse-engineer, hacking, or scraping its services. Google doesn't have to worry about ad-blocking, tracker blocking, or scrapers that filter out Google's lucrative, low-quality results:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

Google doesn't fear competition, it doesn't fear regulation, it doesn't fear rival technology and it doesn't fear its workers. Google's workforce once enjoyed enormous sway over the company's direction, thanks to their scarcity and market power. But Google has outgrown its dependence on its workers, and lays them off in vast numbers, even as it increases its profits and pisses away tens of billions on stock buybacks:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

Google is fearless. It doesn't fear losing your business, or being punished by regulators, or being mired in guerrilla warfare with rival engineers. It certainly doesn't fear its workers.

Making search worse is good for Google. Reducing search quality increases the number of queries, and thus ads, that each user must make to find their answers:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

If Google can make things worse for searchers without losing their business, it can make more money for itself. Without the discipline of markets, regulators, tech or workers, it has no impediment to transferring value from searchers and publishers to itself.

Which brings me back to AI search. When Google substitutes its own summaries for links to pages, it creates innumerable opportunities to charge publishers for preferential placement in those summaries.

This is true of any algorithmic feed: while such feeds are important – even vital – for making sense of huge amounts of information, they can also be used to play a high-speed shell-game that makes suckers out of the rest of us:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/11/for-you/#the-algorithm-tm

When you trust someone to summarize the truth for you, you become terribly vulnerable to their self-serving lies. In an ideal world, these intermediaries would be "fiduciaries," with a solemn (and legally binding) duty to put your interests ahead of their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/07/treacherous-computing/#rewilding-the-internet

But Google is clear that its first duty is to its shareholders: not to publishers, not to searchers, not to "partners" or employees.

AI search makes cheating so easy, and Google cheats so much. Indeed, the defects in AI give Google a readymade excuse for any apparent self-dealing: "we didn't tell you a lie because someone paid us to (for example, to recommend a product, or a hotel room, or a political point of view). Sure, they did pay us, but that was just an AI 'hallucination.'"

The existence of well-known AI hallucinations creates a zone of plausible deniability for even more enshittification of Google search. As Madeleine Clare Elish writes, AI serves as a "moral crumple zone":

https://estsjournal.org/index.php/ests/article/view/260

That's why, even if you're willing to believe that Google could make a great AI-based search, we can nevertheless be certain that they won't.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/15/they-trust-me-dumb-fucks/#ai-search

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

djhughman https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Modular_synthesizer_-_%22Control_Voltage%22_electronic_music_shop_in_Portland_OR_-_School_Photos_PCC_%282015-05-23_12.43.01_by_djhughman%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[thornypucks]

cappuccino | lena oberdorf

synopsis who needs a fancy coffee machine when a cute barista can make your coffee instead?

warnings a teeny tiny bit of swearing and a teeny tiny bit suggestive - English isn't my first language so bear with me - oh and also idk if this counts as a warning but Lena's injury just doesn't exist in this (for the plot and my inner peace)

words 7869

“Hi, could I have a cappuccino?” Lena asks without looking up from her phone. She knows it’s rude not to look at the person in front of her while ordering, but she still hasn’t figured out how to get to the training grounds. And being late on the first day of the job wasn’t necessarily something Lena wanted to do. She was a pretty laid-back person, but at the end of the day, she was still German, and that meant being on time was important. She usually would have made coffee at home, but her coffee maker, which she treasured, was still in one of the many unpacked boxes. So getting a coffee from a little coffee shop on her way to the subway seemed like a better idea than searching for a coffee maker in her new apartment.

“Sure. That would be €4.50. Do you want it to go?”

Your voice made Lena look up from her phone, where Google Maps was still open, being no help at all. She was about to answer you, but the words died in her throat. You were pretty. Like, really fucking pretty. The morning sun was shining through the windows, illuminating the whole room, including you. You had a gentle smile on your lips, your eyes trained onto hers. Lena didn’t even realize that she had been staring at you, with her mouth slightly open, until you raised one of your eyebrows.

“Um, yeah, of course. Yes, to go. Please. And I’ll pay with my card. Please.” Your smile spread a little wider, and you nodded before typing something into the screen in front of you. The card scanner lit up, and Lena held her phone against it, her eyes never leaving you. You had surprised her. The patient smile on your face, even when Lena hadn’t been particularly polite. The way your skin was glowing from the light that was streaming in. The way you wore your hair, the rings on your fingers, and the cap on your head. Everything about you had caught Lena's attention, and she couldn't look away.

“Coming right up.” You were smiling at her again, and Lena could only nod. She took a step to the side and looked down at her phone without really looking at it. You had started making her coffee, and Lena kept stealing discreet glances at you.

The girl's glances were anything but discreet. After her slightly awkward order, you caught her looking at you multiple times. One time you were certain she had been staring at your ass right before you turned around, her eyes quickly moving up to yours and then back to her phone. Her cheeks now dusted in a light pink. She was cute. Like really cute. Her hair was up in a very messy bun. She was wearing a big shirt, sweatpants and a bunch of jewelry. The necklaces around her neck, her earrings and rings had immediately caught your attention. She had been a little awkward with you but something about her still seemed confident. Like she was certain in herself. You also kept stealing glances at her, hoping that yours were a little more discreet, while finishing her coffee. She kept looking at her phone and then back at you.

Once you had poured the foamed milk on top, you slid the cup onto the counter, next to the sugar and the lids. “There you go.” You said, smiling at her as she looked up from her phone again. She smiled back and mumbled a little “Thanks”. You noted how she didn't put any sugar, only picking up one of the lids and putting it onto the cup.

She looked like she was about to turn around when she seemed to change her mind. “Sorry if I'm being annoying. But could you help me real quick? I’m new here and cannot, for the life of me, figure out which subway I have to take to get to the Bayern Campus?” Her admission made you giggle, and you leaned a little forward, arms on the counter. She also stepped a little closer and tipped her phone towards you so you could see the subway lines on it. “It’s no problem. You’re not being annoying. I’m pretty sure it’s easier to get there by bus. But” you leaned a little further onto the counter, pointing to a red line on her phone. “If you take this one to that station” you moved your finger over her screen, showing her where to go. “ Then you're in a pretty good walking distance. I’ve never walked it myself, but I’m guessing it’s like 15 to 20 minutes?” “Ah thanks, you’re a lifesaver.” She looked at you, your faces surprisingly close to each other. That realization stopped you both in your tracks for a second, just looking at each other until Lena cleared her throat and looked away. “Um, yeah, so thanks for the description and the coffee. Have a good day. Bye” She mumbled, and was out of the shop before you could answer, but her perfume lingered for quite a while, leaving a small smile on your face for the rest of the day.

“I’m telling you, they make really good coffee.” “Lena, I’ve been living here for like four years. What makes you think you know better coffee places than I do?” Lena just rolled her eyes and kept dragging Lea towards the little coffee shop. With your help, she had been able to find the campus last week, she had even been five minutes early. And while the new place, the new people and the practice had been exciting, the only thing on her mind had been you. She almost told Lea about you, but she ended up being too embarrassed. She instead opted for dragging her to the little shop, hoping to see you again. The weather had changed quite a bit, heavy clouds hanging over Munich.

Lena opened the door to the café and let Lea step in first. Her eyes immediately searched the place until they found you. You were standing behind the counter, just like yesterday, talking to a customer. You weren't wearing a cap today, but paired with the moody weather, you looked very cozy in your hoodie, making Lena smile slightly. It was ridiculous how enthralled she was by you, only seeing you for the second time, but she couldn't help herself. Something about you had captivated her. She only realized then that Lea was already standing in line at the counter, looking a little confused at Lena, who was still frozen in place by the door. Lena quickly caught up to her friend, looking down to hide the light blush on her cheeks.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” Your voice chimed in, making Lena look up again. Your eyes met and, to Lena's satisfaction, your smile seemed to deepen. “Hello again.” You basically beamed at her, and Lena felt like she had grown a couple of inches. “Hi,” she smiled back, the one word the only thing she was capable of saying. “Another cappuccino, or would you like something else today?” Your smile didn't falter, and Lena tried really hard not to let the fact that you had remembered her coffee order get to her head. “Yes, another cappuccino, please.” At that, she remembered that she had brought Lea and quickly whipped her head toward her friend. Lea was already looking at her, a knowing smile on her lips. “What do you want?” Lena asked, already mentally preparing for the teasing that was about to ensue. Maybe bringing Lea hadn't been a good idea. Lea turned her head toward you and ordered herself a latte. Lena told you that they wanted to drink their coffee in the shop and paid with her phone. “I’ll bring the drinks to your table.” You told them before turning around and starting on their orders,

Lena suppressed her need to watch you and followed Lea into a cute sitting corner in the back of the café. “Barely a week in Munich, and you already have a crush. Working fast, Obi.” Lea teased before Lena even had the chance to sit down. Lena's head turned bright red, her cheeks heating up. “Stop, dude.” she grumbled, falling into the chair opposite Lea. “I mean, I get it. She's cute.” Lea sent an exaggerated wink. Lena groaned and dropped her forehead onto the table. Lea laughed. “Come on, I’m just teasing you.” Lena raised her head back up. “It is a little embarrassing, though. I’ve literally seen her twice now, and I acted like a fool both times. That's ridiculous, Lea.” Lea just kept grinning and shrugged her shoulders. “I don't know Obi. I’m kind of here for it. Usually you're tho one people lose their minds over you. It's kind of nice seeing you flustered.” Lena just groaned at that and was about to drop her head again when your voice chimed in.

“A Latte and a Cappuccino for the two of you.” You said as you put the beverages down in front of them. It was the first time that Lena could see your whole body. She wasn't standing, but she was sure that you were a bit smaller than her. You were wearing Birkenstocks, which made Lena grin. They weirdly fit you and your vibe a lot. “Thank you.” Lea said, and Lena realized only then that she had been staring at you. Again. “Lena told me we had to come here.” There was a short moment of silence as Lena looked at her friend with big eyes. “For the coffee, of course.” Lea pushed out after, only making Lena more uncomfortable. “Of course.” You responded, and Lena didn't miss the teasing tone in your voice. “Well, I hope you enjoy it then.” You chirped as you turned around to walk back to the front of the store. Lea was now beaming at her again, and Lena dropped her head back to the table right next to her cappuccino should have known that bringing one of her best friends here was a horrible idea. Next time, she would come alone.

Lena stopped by the café almost every day, and you found yourself looking forward to it. Aside from that one time, she had always been on her own. Most weekdays, she would pop in around 8 o'clock and order her cappuccino. You would exchange a few words while you made up her order. You figured out rather quickly that she had signed for Bayern this season and has just moved here from Wolfsburg. She told you about her family, her dog and most importantly, the upcoming Olympics, so you would know why she wouldn't show for a couple of weeks. In return, you told her about your roommate, the book you were currently reading, and your working hours, so she would know when you weren't there. Talking to her almost every day had made you not only get used to her presence but also crave it. Her laugh was intoxicating, always raising your mood. You spend your mornings staring at the door, waiting for her to walk through it, and your evenings thinking about her and all the things you still didn't know about her but desperately wanted to.

The few weeks Lena spent at the Olympics had turned out to be a little torturous. For the first time in your life, you were watching soccer. Only the German games, of course. Some of them took place while you had work, so you turned them on the TV you had in your café. Some customers and your employee Ben had been confused about the change from either music videos or baby animals to soccer, but you just brushed the comments off. You had to know how Lena was doing, and you didn't have her number, so the games and her interviews were the only thing you had. Watching her interviews in the evening had turned into a slightly concerning obsession. You missed her presence in the café and missed talking to her. The interviews could, of course, not fill that void, but they made up for it a little. Around a month after you had seen her for the first time, you jumped off your couch as Ann-Kathrin Berger saved the penalty, making Germany bronze medalists. Your roommate had been watching with you, clearly amused by your reaction, but you didn't really care. Not only had Lena won a bronze medal, but she was also finally going to come back to Munich. Back to your café.

You had to be patient for almost another week before Lena finally showed up again. Her skin was slightly darker than it had been before she left, and your eyes met the second she set foot into your store. You couldn't help the wide smile on your face, or the way your heartbeat picked up when she returned it. “Welcome back, superstar.” You grinned as she stepped up to your counter. Her cheeks blushed, and her smile turned a little sheepish. “Um, yeah, thanks.” She scratched the back of her neck before her confident smile, which you had grown used to, returned. “So that means you’ve watched the games, huh?” Now it was your turn to blush. You didn't really know how to respond, so you just nodded and quickly turned around to start making her coffee. And because it was just your Luck, your employee Ben had overheard the conversation, and since he was a little shit he decided to chime in.

“Oh, you’re Lena Oberdorf, right? The soccer play? Well, now I get why there has been soccer on our TV for the past few weeks instead of baby penguins or hippos.” Your blush deepened, and you made a point of not looking at Lena as you responded. “Moo Deng and Pesto still got their time to shine. I would never disrespect them like that.” Ben raised his hands defensively. “Sure, thing boss” He smirked, returning to the order he had been making. You finished Lena's Coffee before you faced her again. The confident smile on her face had only deepened, and you had to hold back a groan at it. Her ego had just grown like 10 inches, and it was all Ben's fault. “Your cappuccino.” You said, hoping to just pretend that that conversation had never happened. “It's on the house.” you threw in quickly as she raised her phone to pay. Somehow, her smile got even bigger, and your knees started feeling a little wobbly. “Guess I'll have to win another medal to get coffee from my favorite barista.” She threw you an exaggerated wink as she took the coffee. “Thanks tho. Guess I’ll have to return the favor by gifting a jersey to my new fan.” You rolled your eyes at that, and Lena just laughed. Maybe hiring Ben had been a horrible idea after all.

Over four months after you had met Lena for the first time, she brought a second person to the café. You had been standing behind the counter, busy making another order for one of your regulars, so you didn't see her walking in. That also meant that you were completely oblivious to the conversation Lena and Jule were having while looking at the back of your head.

“So that's her, huh?” Jule teased the second they made it through the door. “The reason you’ve barely touched your fancy coffee maker, that cost more than my first car, since you moved here?” Lena's cheeks started burning up immediately, and she tried hiding them in the scarf around her neck. It had gotten cold in Germany, and Lena couldn't help but smile at the state of the store. It was mid-November, but the café had been in full Christmas swing for a week now.

Lena had walked in on you, humming along to jingle bells, on the first of November. You were wearing the coziest sweater Lena had ever seen, and both of your hands were full of string lights, ready to light the place up. Your excitement about the holiday had been intoxicating, and Lena wanted nothing more than to jump over the counter and kiss you under the mistletoe you had hung up there. She hadn't, of course, but that didn't stop her from fantasizing about it. Her mood was only slightly tainted when she remembered how your employee, Jack or something, had winked at you as he had also walked into the store and noticed the mistletoe. “You could’ve just asked Boss.” He said with a wink before disappearing into the back room. Your only reaction had been an eye roll, but Lena could feel frustration and a little jealousy rise inside her. She felt like you enjoyed her flirting and flirted back, but she didn't even know if you were into women at all, much less into her. She had left the store feeling kind of grumpy with her coffee cup in hand.

You had finished up with the customer, and Jule started pulling Lena towards the counter, tearing her out of her daydream. You smiled up at the two of them and were about to greet them when Jule started talking. “Hi, I’m Jule It's nice to meet you.” Lena suppressed a groan but couldn't hold back from rolling her eyes. “You must be Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Jule basically beamed at you, and Lena wondered why she had ever thought that bringing Jule here was a good Idea. “Really well, that's nice to hear.” You grinned toward Lena. “Well, I had to tell her about my biggest fan, didn’t I?” Lena quickly threw back, hoping to hide her embarrassment. “Of course you did.” You responded. “But you're playing a dangerous game by introducing me to more soccer players, Oberdorf. Maybe I’ll wear a different jersey soon.”

Lena was momentarily stunned. Not only by your quick remark, but also by surprise over how that made her feel. The little green monster that had shown its fangs just days ago seemed to grow bigger in her chest, and Lena's smile turned slightly uncomfortable. You didn't seem to catch onto that as you winked at her and then turned to Jule to ask her what she wanted to drink. She ordered some weird, complicated festive drink that Lena had forgotten the name of the second the words had left Jules mouth. Lena watched you as you nodded and typed stuff into the screen in front of you before your attention finally returned to her. Your eyes met and Lena's heart jumped just a tiny bit. “A cappuccino as usual?” You asked, grinning up at her, teeth on full display. “Yeah, as usual.” “I really thought I could infect you with my festive spirit. Come on, try something Christmasy. Maybe just a splash of cinnamon syrup or some gingerbread spice?” Lena's grin returned. “Nope, thanks, I'm good.” You rolled your eyes slightly with a smile and typed in her order as well. Lena paid for the drinks and you started making them. Lena thought she had survived Jule meeting you for the first time when the taller woman started talking again.

“So, Y/N, do you own the store?” She asked, even though she already knew the answer. Lena had told her weeks ago over the phone. You turned your head slightly, still focused on your task at the coffee maker. “Yes, I do. I used to work here as a part-timer, but then the old owner retired and asked me if I wanted to take over. It’s been mine ever since.” “So you run it all by yourself?” Jule kept asking, and Lena frowned. Jule knew the answer to all of these questions, so what was she on about? “Oh no, I have one employee, Ben, who works half-time, and during the summer and sometimes Christmas I get some holiday workers.” “So is Ben like just an employee, ooor?”

Ah, that's what Jule was getting at. Lena would have been annoyed at her if that question hadn't tortured her for the past week. You turned around, slightly surprised. “Oh no, he’s just an employee.” Lena could physically feel the tension leave her shoulders. “And, well, a friend. We swing in…opposite directions, if you know what I mean.” With that, you turned back around to finish Jules order, and Lena had to restrain herself from hugging Jule or letting out an excited scream. That had quite literally been the most ideal outcome. Not only were you not dating that Ben/Jack guy, you were also gay, and so was he. Phenomenal. Lena felt like she could just float away happily on a little cloud as you put Jules order in front of her.

“Yeah, well, I’m just happy that I found a café that plays soccer games on the big screen. I bet the old owner didn't,” Lena piped in, using every chance she could get to tease you. When she found out that you had actually watched her games, Lena felt like she was on cloud 9, kind of similar to how she felt now. She laughed when you turned around and stuck your tongue out toward her. She was being a little shit and enjoyed every second of it. You were now working on Lena's order with your back still angled towards them. That way, you didn't see the smile that spread onto Jules face or the mischievous glint in her eyes. Lena did, and her heart race started picking up.

“Well, I don't know how much you know about soccer, but I play for the club Lena used to play for, and we actually go against each other tomorrow. Why don’t you come?” Jule asked, and your movements stilled. Lena sucked in a breath. She liked you. A lot. But so far, all of your interactions had taken place in the small café. It had turned into a little bubble for the two of you. And while Lena would have liked to spend more time with you - it felt like a massive step. You turned around slowly, a shy smile on your face that made Lena's heart jump again. “I’d like that.” You answered quietly while looking at Lena - trying to gauge her reaction. “I mean, if you want me there?” Lena was a little surprised but tried to hide that behind an encouraging smile while Jule clapped her hands together. “Of course she does. Yeah, no, that's awesome. We’ll get you a ticket. Well, Lena will. Oh, and it starts at 6:30 pm, so maybe be there a little earlier. Maybe we can get you in the friends and family section; that would be nice, no? And we’re going to a bar or something afterward, so you definitely have to come with us.” Lena could see in your face that you were getting overwhelmed by Jules rambling. Your eyes kept getting bigger, and you stood frozen with Lena's cappuccino in your hands, your eyes switching between her and Jule. She couldn't help but grin as she reached out and put her hands on Jules shoulder to slow her down. She sounded a lot more confident than she felt when she asked you, “Maybe you can just give me your number, and I’ll text you all the details?” You nodded quickly, seemingly unfreezing from your stance, putting the cup on the counter. There was a light tint on your cheeks when you took the phone out of Lena's Hand and started typing into it before returning it. You didn't see the wide, proud smile on Jules face that made Lena roll her eyes again. She really had to stop bringing her friends into this café.

This was a horrible idea. You had somehow made it to the stadium and then found your way into the family and friends section. If it hadn't been for Lena's very precise instructions, you would've probably drowned in a sea of bright green and red shirts. You had made it safely, but now you were standing in a crowd of people that all seemed to know each other - and then there was you. You had never felt so out of place, and the feeling of not belonging crawled up your neck and made you shiver in your thick jacket.

Not only that, but you had really struggled with what to wear. Lena had kept her promise and gifted you a jersey -signed, of course. But it was the pink one for Germany, not a Bayern Munich jersey. You had spent hours thinking about it until you realized that it was cold as fuck outside and that you would have to wear a jacket the entire time anyway. In the end, you had opted for a dark red turtleneck that did slightly poke out of the collar of your jacket. The excitement you had felt just 24 hours ago had vanished into thin air. You had spent the entire last day daydreaming about Lena. It had seriously become a problem that even Ben, your employee, had caught on to - turning into an endless string of teasing from the student. You had swapped orders, given the wrong change and dropped a whole carton of milk, which, of course, had been open and milk seemed to seep into every corner of your little café. But you just couldn't get her out of your head. You had only ever seen her in the café, and on television, but from the first moment on, you had felt a weird sense of comfort around her. Her voice was strong and confident but so soothing, and her tone was always interested. In you. She’d asked you countless questions about your life, family and interests, and just thinking about it made you feel a bit warmer in the cold Munich air.

You jumped a little when somebody gently touched your shoulder from behind. “Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” The woman gave you an apologetic smile as you turned around. She was slightly taller than you, her brown hair was up in a ponytail, and she was completely dressed in Bayern gear. You smiled back at her. “It’s fine, I wasn't paying attention.” “You’re Y/N, right ?” Your eyes widened, surprised at her question, which deepened her smile. “Lena told me to find you. I'm Kathi, one of her teammates. She told me you didn't know anybody and that I should keep an eye on you.” Her smile just kept growing bigger, and your cheeks started burning. Lena was really looking out for you. “Oh, that's really sweet. But you don't have to. I don't want to bother you.” You tried to decline. Feeling out of place was a horrible feeling, but spending your time with people because they felt like they had to didn't really sound nice either. Even though Lena had obviously meant well. But Kathi just raised her hand in a throwaway motion and gestured for you to follow her. “It’s perfectly fine. It's always nice to see a fresh face. Come on, I’ll introduce you to some more people, and then we can watch the game together.” You hesitated for a second before thanking her and following her, feeling a lot warmer than you had just a few seconds ago.

Lena was jumping up and down on the spot, still feeling nervous and pumped full of adrenalin. The game had finished almost an hour ago, with Bayern securing a close 3:2 win, but Lena couldn't calm down. After the game, she felt the desire to run straight towards you. But she of course had to give a quick interview where the reporter asked many annoying and borderline boring questions about her playing her old club, and then she was pulled to the showers. Which was probably a good idea - she did play for the whole 90 minutes. Now she was clean, dressed in jeans, a sweatshirt and a bayern jacket. Her hair was still slightly damp as she waited with the others for you, Kathi and a couple other players and family members. Both teams had agreed to go to a bar or club together, and Lena was mostly excited because you were coming. It was nice seeing her old teammates, but they just couldn't beat you.

She was still nervously bouncing up and down when somebody wrapped their arm around her shoulders. “You have to relax, girl.” Alex Popp mumbled in her ear, and Lena could hear her old captain's grin without even looking at her. She was about to answer something, but the words got stuck in her throat. You were walking onto the parking lot, laughing at something Kathi had said, and Lena needed a second to comprehend the situation. She knew you were gorgeous and that she had a big, fat crush on you. But seeing you outside the coffee shop in a big Jacket that seemed to swallow you was a whole different deal. “Holy shit” she muttered to herself, but Poppi heard, of course, and started giggling. “You really have it bad Obi, huh?” She pushed her forward lightly “Go get her.”

Lena barely registered the words as she walked towards you. Kathi saw her first, giving Lena the same knowing smile she had gotten from pretty much everybody all day long. You turned your head, finally looking at her. Lena's heart jumped as your face split into a big smile. It only took a couple more steps, and you were in Lena's arms. You reached up to wrap yours around her neck, while she wrapped hers around your waist, pulling you close and then slightly picking you off the ground. She felt your breath against her ear as you started giggling. “Hi Lena.” You mumbled out, laying your chin on her shoulder. All she could do was whisper a quiet “Hi” Back while holding you as close as both of your jackets would let her. Lena lowered you slowly onto the ground, not letting go yet. Having you out of your coffee shop felt like a huge accomplishment, and she was scared you were just going to disappear into thin air if she let you go. You started giggling again rubbing your arms up and down her body.

“I won't disappear, you know?” You said like you had heard her thoughts, and Lena slowly released her hold while still keeping her hands on your jacket clad waist. “I'm just proud that I got you out of that coffee shop of yours.” She repeated her thoughts out loud.

“Well technically Jule did.”

“Oh so you came here for her?”

“Well, I didn't say that, but she asked me, didn’t she? I also don’t have a Bayern jersey yet, but I was thinking that I might look better in green”

“Oh, I don’t know, I think the red turtleneck looks rather nice on you.”

Lena felt a strange rush of confidence when she leaned closer and mumbled, “And my last name will surely look better on you than anybody else's.” Your banter was interrupted before you had a chance to react. Jule was standing behind you, looking rather impatient. “I know you're happy to see each other, but we're all freezing our asses off, so how about you continue this conversation in a nice, warm bar?” You both nodded, and Lena let her hands drop from your waist.

She was about to walk towards the other when you pulled her back by her sleeve. You didn't wait for Lena to react as you got on your tiptoes and put your hat, that had been on your head just seconds ago, onto hers. You made sure it was sitting nicely on her head before you dropped back down onto your soles. Lena couldn't help but stare at you and your blushing cheeks as you mumbled something about “Wet hair” and “flu season” and brushed past her to the group of people waiting for you.

Your cheeks were flushed, and you were still sweating, even though you had left the bar at least five minutes ago. It was around three in the morning, and the November air in Munich was quite chilly. It had been really hot in the bar, and it would have been a lie to say that alcohol and Lena's presence didn't also factor into your current state.

She hadn't left the spot next to you, basically the entire night. Only getting up twice because you had to use the restroom. Her constant presence didn't stop her teammates - former and current - from telling embarrassing stories and throwing jabs at Lena. Jule had video or photo evidence for pretty much all of Lena's embarrassing moments and didn't hesitant to show them. At first, you had been scared that Lena would feel uncomfortable, but she seemed to enjoy having you with her in the chaos. You were surprised at how comfortable you felt surrounded by all the strangers, but they and especially Lena, of course, had made it easy.

You talked with Jule for quite a while before she decided that it was time for some karaoke. Then you started chatting with Georgia, one of Lena's teammates from England, and lastly with Magda and Pernille. All with Lena by your side, ordering drinks for you, but also making sure you had the occasional Water. She was drinking beer the entire night, and by the end of it, she had her arm wrapped around your shoulders, her thigh pressed against yours, while talking to one of her old teammates about soccer stuff you didn't understand.

Time had rushed by and people had left slowly one by one until only You, Lena, Jule, Lea - the other friend she had brought to the café - Magda, Pernille and Lynn were left.

Jule swayed towards you, Lea and Lena, a huge mischievous smile on her face as she straight up walked into Lena. Lena didn't drink as much and could thankfully hold both of their weights instead of just falling over. “Soo my dear friend -” She slurred into Lena's jacket. “I’ve decided that I’m gonna stay at Leas place tonight, so this lovely lady-” She turned around surprisingly fast with her finger pointed towards you, almost poking your eye out. “- can go home with you. If you know what I mean. Wink-Wonk.” She actually managed to wink in sync with her words, and you could see Lena and Lea cringing at their friend's actions. You - also pretty drunk at this point - started laughing at both of their faces.

Lea pulled Jule away from Lena, her face still looking slightly disturbed, leaving you to only laugh harder. “Alright, that's enough; let's go, Jule. Good night, you two.” Lea said quickly and walked away, half carrying Jule before she could say anything else. Your laughter slowly died down as you turned back to Lena. "I can’t believe she just actually said ‘wink-wonk’ out loud.” Lena was shaking her head, her face looking just as disturbed as Leas. That only made you laugh again, and Lena started shaking her head, amused at your clearly drunk state.

The other players also bid their goodbyes and disappeared in different directions. “Come on, let's get you home.” Lena started putting your jacket on, even zipping it up as you kept giggling, your breath blowing clouds into the night air. Once Lena was satisfied with your jacket, she put the hat you had previously put on her back on your head. “There we go.” She mumbled more to herself as she intertwined your fingers with hers before pulling you in one direction. You followed her dutiful.

“Your home or my home?” you asked after a couple of steps. Lena didn't look at you and kept walking. “Well, if you want to go home, you're gonna have to tell me where you live. But-” She broke off the sentence, the clear insinuation floating in between you. She cleared her throat and finished her sentence. “But you’re more than welcome to stay with me - if you like, of course.”

You were quiet for a couple of seconds. That had less to do with hesitation and more to do with the fact that you were drunk and Lena was touching you. Both of these factors seemed to slow your brain's functionality immensely. Her hand was a little rougher and bigger than yours. Her fingers were intertwined with yours, and she wasn't squeezing your hand, but still holding on tight. You relished in the feeling of her warm hand against yours for a couple of seconds before you realized that you already knew the answer, but you actually had to tell Lena as well.

“I live above the café.” You answered her question and if you had been any less drunk you would have probably caught onto her shoulders dropping slightly. “But I would like staying with you.” You finished your sentence. “Yeah?” Lena was now finally looking at you, her brown eyes twinkling. You nodded as confirmation.

So the two of you kept walking through the quiet city, a comfortable silence growing between you as well. You could feel yourself getting a little sober with every step, slowly starting to grow cold in your jacket. Lena of course noticed and pulled you a little closer. “We’re almost there” She murmured towards you, leading you around another corner and pointing at a building down the street. “ Right there. We’ve almost made it, love” Your now less drunk head caught up with the nickname. You could get used to that.

Lena led you the last couple of steps before halting in front of a door and getting a key out of her pocket. She let go of your hand, and you could have sworn the temperature dropped at least 5 degrees in that second. But Lena quickly ushered you inside, even the staircase feeling a little warmer than what it was outside. She led you up two flights of stairs before stopping at the next door. You silently grinned at the amount of shoes that were stacked up in front of her apartment as Lena unlocked that door as well.

Her apartment was pretty big and modern. The outside had looked like an old building, but it was clear that this had been renovated not too long ago. You were frozen in her entryway, looking at her apartment. All the walls were white. From where you were standing, you could see right into the living room and the kitchen, a door that probably led to a balcony, and two more doors probably leading into the bedroom and bathroom.

Lena poked you in the side. “You need help?” She asked in an amused tone, making you turn around to her. She had already taken her shoes and jacket off. You were definitely sober enough to take off your clothes, but where was the fun in that. So you just nodded quietly, and Lena took your hat off and started unzipping your jacket. She gently helped you out of it and reached for a hanger right behind you. She hung your jacket neatly up before returning her attention to you. You were closer to each other than you had been before. You could smell her shampoo from where you were standing. Her eyes looking right into yours. Lena brought a hand up to your face and tucked a strand of hair behind your right ear. “I really want to kiss you.” She almost whispered into the quiet room. “But you're drunk and-”

“ I'm not that drunk.” You interrupted her quickly. You had been thinking about kissing her for, like, the past three months. Glee twinkled in her eyes. “No?” She asked. Her hand was now on your neck, her thumb gently stroking along your jawline. Warmth spread through your entire body. “ You seemed pretty drunk when you laughed about Jule saying ‘Wink-wonk’ for five minutes.” You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you at that memory. “That was pretty funny, though.” You responded. “And that was like at least thirty minutes ago, so I'm way more sober and way less drunk now, and I really, really want to kiss you as well.”

Your patience ran out, pretty much immediately after the words had left your mouth. One of your hands snaked its way around her waist, and the other found its way into Lena's hair at the back of her head as you pulled her down towards you. Her lips smashed into yours a little less gently than you had planned, but it didn't really matter. Her mouth was finally on yours. Lena let out a tiny moan, and a shiver went through your entire body. Her right hand stayed on your neck, pulling you close, her other hand made its way to your lower back as you opened her mouth. You got lost in each other for, god knows, how long. The only noise in the apartment was panting and little moans and groans from the both of you until Lena pulled away to get some air.

She breathed heavily for a couple of seconds while staring into your eyes. Then she murmured a tiny “Fuck” before pulling your mouth back onto hers. You had lost any sense of time when you pushed back slightly again, both gasping for air. Lena's eyes were blown wide open, and they had a certain glint in them that you hadn't seen before. “We still have to take off your shoes?” Lena said between gasps, but the words didn't really register until she spoke your name, pulling your eyes away from Lena's lips. She quietly directed you towards a small bench you hadn't even realized was there and made you sit on it. You didn't even have time to take off your shoes, because Lena was faster. She kneeled in front of you, taking off your shoes and then slipping sliders onto your feet.

“I think we should get you into a bed, huh?” She asked, still on her knees in front of you. Another thing you could get used to. “To do Wink-Wonk?” You asked, trying to look innocent. Lena laughed as she stood back up and then pulled you back up onto your feet as well.

“Not tonight, love.”

“ So, another night.”

“ All the nights you want.”

“ All of them? That's a bold promise to make Oberdorf.”

She pressed a quick peck on your lips, catching you by surprise.

“One I intend to keep.”

You were too stunned to respond. You liked this version of Lena. So far, you’ve liked every version of Lena you've seen, but a slightly horny one was definitely in the top 5. “Now.” Lena tried again. “Let's get you into bed.”

Lena woke up to the noises of her coffee machine running. It took her a second to get oriented before she remembered last night. A smile spread across her face when she realized that you hadn't only stayed the night, but that you were up and seemingly making coffee. For a second, she was a bit sad that she hadn't gotten the chance to wake up next to you. But for now, she was satisfied that she at least got to fall asleep next to you.

She had somehow managed to get you into the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face before leading you into her bedroom. You had taken off your clothes and pulled on one of Lena's shirts without complaining before cuddling up to her in bed.

Lena quickly slipped out of her bed and couldn't help but glance in the mirror to make sure she didn't look entirely crazy after just waking up. Her eyes looked tired from the late night, but all in all, it could have been worse. She quietly made her way out of the bedroom into the open kitchen and living space.

She immediately spotted you in the kitchen. Your hair was down, the only thing you were wearing was the big shirt Lena had given you last night, and you were quietly humming along to a Christmas song while making coffee. Lena stopped in her tracks and admired you for a few seconds. The sight of you in her kitchen was really nice, and she was also a little surprised that you didn't seem to be hungover at all.

She was pretty sure that she had had that dream before. You, half naked in her kitchen. All the pining and teasing had been well worth it. Lena felt a strong sense of belonging wash over her. She wanted you in her life. Half naked in her kitchen, sitting in the stands at her games, waiting for her in the coffee shop and in her bed, maybe with even fewer clothes next time. That was probably a lot of emotion so early in the morning, so Lena decided to move that serious conversation to a later time when you were both fully awake.

She made her way towards you around her couch and the kitchen island until she could reach you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you into her. Your body stiffened for a split second before melting into her, holding the cup that already had a finished cappuccino - no sugar - securely in your hand. Lena mumbled “Morning” into the skin of your neck before pressing a little kiss there. She smiled when she felt your pulse quicken underneath her lips. “Morning,” you mumbled back, reaching forward to put the milk carton down. You turned in her arms, wrapping yours around her neck to give her a proper good morning kiss. Lena couldn't help but sigh into it, pulling a satisfying shiver out of you. You split after a few seconds, both of your faces spread with dopey smiles. “You know what?” You leaned forward again, pressing a little kiss close to her ear.

“You have a very nice coffee maker for somebody who gets coffee every morning”

[tswhiisftteedr]

hi!!!! could I please request general nsfw headcannons for vox, val, and velvette (or just your favorite of the 3!)? maybe especially with a slightly bratty partner? thank you! :)

Behave Bitch! ☆ Headcanon + Oneshot

☆ Valentino x Bratty!Gn!Reader, Vox x Bratty!Gn!Reader, Velvette x Bratty!Gn!Reader, and Valentino x Bratty!Gn!Reader x Vox:

You go out of your way to fuck with them and test their patience, and this is how their repercussion would be.

Warnings: Mature Content, Explicit/Graphic Language, Praise & Degradation(Lots of of degradation), Oral Sex(Male Receiving), Penetrative Sex, Bad Spanish, Creampie, Possessiveness, Spanking, Choking, Dacryphilia, Bondage, Handcuffs, Blood, Biting, Electricity NOT PROOFREAD.

Words: Total — 13 806, Valentino(Hc + Oneshot) — 2419, Vox(Hc + Oneshot) — 2365, Velvette(Hc + Oneshot) — 3463, Vox & Valentino(Hc + Oneshot) — 5539

Note: So I may or may not be a total slut for the three of them, and especially a sucker for Val x reader x Vox action. Like how should I say it? Oh, yeah, I need them inside m— Hehsjsnsnjwns Awooga lol. *Bitch is used gender neutrally if you couldn’t tell. So 4 things, number one this Headcanons + Drabbles/Slight Short One shots, note that the example in the headcanons are just examples of scenario, and are unrelated to the drabble part, so don’t get confused when they mention one situation and then you read about another. Number 2, the type of reader was not precise so I went with gender neutral, so I’m sorry if the smut part isn’t the best as I am still lacking in writing experience to make something great with the lack of precise genitalia mention. But if you find it good, we’ll good for you! Also I used Google and translation apps when it came to the Spanish that Valentino employs, so I’m sorry to my Hispanic readers of the display of language is not to your liking. And lastly, I didn’t know how to write a slightly bratty reader, so I’m sorry anon if the reader is either not enough or too bratty. Personally I love a full on bratty, attention whore, whiny reader because that’s how I am.(If I was hot and got over my fear of being rejected, anyways-) That’s it for info about the fic!!

Author Note: As I am writing this, I am halfway way done with a lute one shot, but I must say, please stop requesting works. I put my request on pause, and I indicated that one both my Masterlist and rules, but seems that people are still confused because some of my older fics have ‘Request are open’ at the bottom. So please don’t request anything more, I have 34 request to start working on after I finish the lute one, plus I still haven’t started to work on chapter 3 for my Idia series. (12 of those request are actually Adam related, and one of them is a zestial one, where the requester offered to pay me for it, so it’s at the top of my list after this 💸💰. Though I still haven’t reach them because I want to finish my lute work first.) Also I am fucking pissed as I am written this, cuz I keep seeing clips of episodes 7&8 of Hazbin on tumblr, but I don’t have prime so I have to wait for stupid illegal websites to repost them. Like I am genuinely mad at the wait time, since my boys(Val and vox, my loves, my husbands, my #1 turn ones-) are in it. Worst part of it all I saw the clips of Vox literally thrusting into the air saying his hard and that the sight of Alastor bloody was better than sex. Like shit, did that make me horny. Like Vox, sweaty, you can take out that pent up energy from the build up excitement, I don’t mind if the other Vees are watching, Valentino can even join~ Hehsjjsjsjnsks. Update: I just watch the two episodes, and fuck were they good. Anyways I’m done, enjoy the fic cunts!

☆ more under the cut. ☆

ఌ︎ Valentino ఌ︎

Oh, you have no idea ‘what kind of gift you gave him with your behavior, Cariño~’

He takes pleasure in ‘putting bitches in their place,’ so feel free to be yourself, use that sharp tongue, but be prepared for the consequences without too much complaints. And he relishes in being the one to mete out repercussions.

Valentino's approach is straightforward; he often lets you play and act as bratty as you want while casually keeping an eye on you. ‘No need to worry; he's merely observing.’

He'd allow you to talk back, tolerating insults, while seated in the VIP section of one of his clubs, surrounded by smoke and flirting demons. All that set up to provoke you into further incriminate yourself.

Despite the condescending expression on his face, you didn’t have anything to about him, everything appearing ordinary, considering he was Val. Nothing seemed suspicious for a while... and then, ¡Bam!

You find yourself dragged into the club's private bedroom, now in a position where you're either tied up or bent over his lap/desk, enduring a session of intense spanking for being a 'good-for-nothing slut,' with degrading comments throughout.

Valentino opts for a paddle, well aware of the sharp sting it leaves on your skin.

Eventually, he transitions to using his hands, relishing in the visible aftermath of his touch—handprints and bite marks adorning your body.

As tears stream down your face, you apologize and plead to him ‘that you would be better, so please stop’ and that’s ‘ ‘s to much!’. He makes no effort to conceal his satisfaction, openly grinning at your vulnerable state.

Today unfolded like any other typical day in hell, as you paid a visit to your boyfriend on the set. Entering his studio, you hung back for a moment, observing Valentino directing the actors, his voice sexy as always but this time yet again fill with frustration.

Amidst the chaos, there were whispers among the staff about the planned star for the movie being decapitated and having to fill their role in with a newbie due to the lack of time ro wait for the actors regeneration, this bringing light upon the source of Val's frustration.

You pondered how much worse his temper would escalate if you followed through with your planned actions. However, that thought didn't weigh heavily on your mind, as you were determined from the get go to mess with him.

Emerging from the shadows and skillfully navigating the set while evading the cameras' gaze, you approached Valentino. Grinning, he remarked, "You came to entertain papi, how sweet of you, amorcito~" standing up and expecting you to jump into his arms.

Surprisingly, you kept walking, engaging in conversation with a crew member, casually flirting. Val struggled to process the fact that ‘not only did you ignore him, but you did so to chat with some nobody!’

Oh boy, was he pissed, yet instead of his typical inclination to abandon work for a tantrum. He had remained seated, continuing to provide screen direction to his actors.

Now that he was well aware of your actions, he had no intention of losing the little game you were playing. Throughout the shoot, he feigned indifference, though his teeth subtly gritted each time he caught a glimpse of you so close to that random sinner.

Despite Valentino's own lack of shamelessness when it came to sleeping around, he was still the ever so possessive and obsessive man. And having so hands-on with someone else, especially in his presence, drove him to the walls.

After 45 minutes of takes and retakes, Valentino directed his staff to wrap up for the day. Immediately afterward, he approached you, gripping your wrist forcefully enough to surely leave a bruise. He then ushered you into the elevator, ascending to his shared luxurious living quarters and, ultimately, his room.

Once inside, he roughly threw you onto the bed, using one arm to pin both of yours above your head, another around your neck, while the remaining two swiftly removed your clothes.

As he approached your ear, his breath on your face, he scornfully remarked, “You wretched whore, think you go and flounce around, letting some fucker feel you up! ¿You’re so desperate to get fuck, verdad, puta?“ His voice carried disdain for your actions, yet beneath it, pent-up sexual frustration lingered.

Now having you completely undressed, Valentino briefly pulled away to retrieve something from his nightstand. It turned out to be a pair of long, dangling cuffs, ideal for securing you to his headboard. And that's precisely what he did.

Bound to the bedpost, you tested your restraints with a subtle tug, ensuring they securely held you in place. You wanted to confirm if there was any potential escape route, making sure you were aware of all possibilities.

In an instant, you felt Valentino's hands on you once more, grabbing your chest roughly, squeezing them hard enough to cause some pain but not enough to leave marks. His fingers then dug into your sensitive flesh, leaving bruises visible through the thin layer of sweat forming on your skin.

His touch was cold and calloused, contrasting sharply with the warmth emanating from his body.

"You little slut," he growled, his accented words dripping with contempt. "You think you can just throw yourself at anyone, disrespect me like this?" With each harsh word, his grip tightened further, pinching your nipples cruelly between his rough fingers.

Despite the pain, a shiver ran down your spine at the prospect of what was to come. You knew exactly how much control he had over you now, and it was exhilarating.

"No, Val," you managed to croak out between gasps for air. "I didn't mean anything by it, really."

But your words fell on deaf ears; instead, Valentino's hand moved lower, cupping your hips roughly before squeezing them forcefully. "You fucking liar," he snarled, his voice low and menacing. "You’re lucky your body is good at satisfying my needs, otherwise I would have already shot your ungrateful bitch ass!”

With that, you observed as he let his tongue swirl around his fingers, that action was followed by him teasing at your hole. “Wait Val, are you not gonna use lube—“

“Lube? Are y’a kidding me? ¡Shut the fuck up, puta! You should be crying tears of joy that I’m even prepping your undeserving ass.” Was all he said, before his fingers divulged into your tight hole, letting his other hand paw at your bits teasingly before pushing in a third finger inside you. The sensation was both pleasurable due to his aphrodisiac like spit and painful as it was all so sudden, it also felt as if he was claiming ownership over your body once more. Tears begging to role down your face at the stretch.

"You’re such a fucking slut, getting off on this, aren’t you?" he asked, his voice husky with desire yet stern. "You like acting like a desperate bitch in heat and piss me just so I can punish you, isn't that right, mariposa~"

As he spoke, he began to thrust his fingers in and out of your heat, pounding into you relentlessly. Each thrust caused your hips to rock forward, meeting his rhythm eagerly. Slightly letting reach down further, just close enough for his tongue to scoop your tears.

You could feel your body responding to the invasion, your hole tightening around his fingers, begging for more. Despite the pain, it was becoming increasingly difficult to resist the pleasure building inside you.

"No! Stop, please, Val!" you pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Instead, he added another finger, stretching you wider. The sensation was both terrifying and arousing, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

"Eso es," he growled, his voice laced with lust. "tómalo todo, you filthy whore."

Just as you thought you couldn't handle anymore, he removed his fingers, leaving your hole gaping open and vulnerable. With a cruel chuckle, he stood up and unfastened his pants, revealing his massive harden cock, thick and veiny, throbbing with desire.

"Time to teach really you a lesson," he said, his eyes burning with hunger. "Get ready to scream, puta."

Without further ado, he positioned himself at your entrance, aligning his tip with it.

"N-no, please, Val—" you managed to utter out before he slammed into you without mercy, filling you up completely.

The sudden intrusion caused you to cry out even harder in both pain and pleasure. Your body shook violently as he started to thrust in and out of you.

Each powerful thrust pushed deeper than before, stretching you further than and further. Your moans turned into high-pitched squeals of mixed agony and pleasure, and your juices coated his member as he pounded into you relentlessly.

The bed creaked under the combined weight of their bodies, adding to the primal rhythm of your session. Your body bounced wildly with each thrust, nipples hardening further under the harsh treatment.

Your legs were spread wide apart, while your hands were still bound tightly to the headboard, rendering you helpless against his onslaught. You couldn't move, couldn't escape the intense pleasure building up inside you.

As he continued his brutal assault, your body adjusted to the his dick, becoming slightly accustomed to the stretching. Your walls tightened around him, milking him eagerly.

He groaned, his hips slamming harder against yours, his cock pounding deeper than ever. His hand reached up to grab a fistful of your hair, yanking your head forward forcefully, exposing your neck and throat.

"Open that filthy mouth," he growled, his breath hot against your neck.

You obeyed, parting your lips, and Valentino pulled back to spit directly into your mouth. The saliva was thick with frustration, a stark contrast to the usual sweet yet dominant taste of his kisses.

"Swallow it, bitch," he demanded, his voice full of desire. Your throat still constricted by one of his hands, yet you managed to swallow the bitter saliva, feeling it coat your tongue and throat.

The humiliation and degradation only served to heighten your arousal, your body quivering as his thrusts grew more frenzied. Your walls clenched around his shaft, urging him to go faster, harder.

"You like that, don't you? Of course you do!" he snarled, his grip tightening in your hair. "You love being treated like the worthless slut you are."

His words only served to fuel the fire inside you, your body shaking and writhing under his control. You couldn't help but whimper in response, your body betraying you with every moan.

Valentino continued to thrust into you, his pace relentless. Your eyes rolled back in ecstasy, ‘almost there’ you though.

Suddenly, Valentino pulled out, leaving you gasping for air, feeling empty and needy.

He quickly untied you from the headboard, dragging you onto your hands and knees, positioning you on all fours. His grip tightened around your neck, choking you just enough to make your vision blur.

"Don’t think I didn’t feel you clench around my cock, you ain’t cumming that easily," he hissed, his voice full of lust.

You nodded, trying to catch your breath, your eyes watering from the lack of air. He wasted no time, thrusting back into you, filling you up once more. This time, his thrusts were even more brutal, the angle hitting your g-spot with each plunge.

The choking intensified, making it even harder to breathe, yet you found yourself moaning louder, your body desperate for release. Your legs shook, struggling to hold you up as he continued to pound into you.

"You're mine, not any other overlord’s or fucking prince of hell, and certainly not that pathetic fucker from earlier, you hear me, Y/N?" he growled, his grip on your neck tightening.

You managed a nod, your voice strangled by his chokehold.

Valentino keeps his hold on your neck, as he brings one of his hand down onto your ass, leaving a stinging impact. The pain was a welcome distraction from the choking, making your moans turn into cries of pleasure.

He spanked you repeatedly, alternating between cheeks, leaving handprints on your flesh. The stinging sensation only served to heighten your senses, your body trembling with every smack.

"You're going to cum for me, slut," he promised, his voice low and menacing. "And you're going to beg for it." Following his words, the hand that was then on your neck was now grabbing at your hair.

Your body tensed, the pleasure building to an unbearable level. Your inner walls clenched around his shaft, milking him relentlessly as he continued to spank and thrust into you.

You couldn't help but comply, your voice hoarse from the choking. "P-please, Val, I need to cum!"

He chuckled darkly, his thrusts becoming even more frenzied. "I said beg for it, you filthy little slut!"

"Please, papi, I need to cum, please! I need so, so bad, ‘can’t think! I just need to come, please, please, please Val!" you begged,

Your voice breaking with the intensity of the moment. Valentino smirked, his thrusts growing even harder, slamming into you with all his might.

Your body was at his mercy, your orgasm building to a crescendo. You could feel the wave crashing over you, your insides clenching around him, milking his cock as he continued to pound into you. One of his hands playing with your front.

"Cum for me, you worthless bitch," he growled, his own release nearing.

You cried out, your orgasm overwhelming you, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure washed over you. Valentino followed suit, groaning loudly as he filled you with his seed, your body trembling as he came inside you.

He pulled out, leaving you panting and shaking, the aftershocks of your orgasm still rippling through your body. Valentino stood up, wiping the sweat from his forehead before lighting a smoke.

After taking some puffs at he grabbed your body once more, “V-Val??” You question in confusion, and the look he gives was so demeaning.

“Bitch, are y’a dumb? Don’t tell me you thought this was over already.” Was all he said before resuming….

Here you were, on the verge of passing out, body full of cuts, hand, teeth, and whip prints all over your body.

"You're lucky I love you," he muttered, his voice laced with a hint of affection. "But don't you ever fucking test my patience again, amorcito."

You nodded, with the both of you knowing that it was a lie, you would definitely act out again.

Finally, your body lulled to dreamland.

⌁ Vox ⌁

Listen, despite his constant complaints about everyone's incompetence and having to clean up after their mess, he finds himself unable to do the same when it comes to you.

But, ‘fuck, did he adores your brattiness.’ It's not that he particularly enjoys dealing with your attitude; rather, it's the journey to the aftermath of your actions that captivates him. Overall, the right to fuck all of his day’s frustration into you!

Take, for instance, a meeting—perhaps not the most crucial, but still relevant, especially as it is concerning one of his latest products on the market.

Suddenly, you would barge into the meeting room, whining about him not giving you enough attention and accusing him of being all about work.

He would sweet talk you into silence until the meeting concluded, but that didn't imply you felt obligated to completely behave. As the meeting continued, you ended up seated on his lap, grinding yourself on his crotch.

Immediately after the meeting concluded and the conference room was emptied, he would lock the door. Then bend you over the spacious table, he pressed your head against the cold wood and proceeded to unleash a waterfall of insults, flowing from his mouth kin to water from a faucet.

He would fuck you so intensely that the both of you would almost lost sight of the initial cause. Almost, though you might have blurred the memory, he certainly hadn't. So as soon as his workday concluded, he would take you once again in his private quarters.

Forcing you to ‘repent for being such impudent slut,' reducing you to tears with his rough handling and verbal abuse.

Today was an incredibly dull day in hell. Wandering around the pentagram on the Vees' turf, you had an escort by your side as per Vox's requirement for taking a stroll outside.

There seemed to be nothing to do, or at least it felt that way. You managed to grab a cup of coffee, but beyond that, nothing fun was available, entering clubs required asking Vox's for his permission first. This ensured that he could assemble a larger entourage to guarantee your safety when you wanted to partake in the activity.

Despite your inclination to fuck with him, you refrained, recognizing that would be too much on his already overworked heart – he'd be more worried than irritated.

Opting for a tamer approach, you aimed to provoke him and get under his skin. Your goal was to distract Vox from his work, shifting his focus to entertain you. Making him jealous seemed the most effective strategy in your eyes, and that's where your escort, a tall and attractive hellhound, entered the scene.

Aware that Vox had eyes throughout the pentagram, particularly in this area, you initiated your plan with this knowledge in mind.

You strolled with your arm around the hellhound, falsely fawning over his looks and intellect, toying with his hair and even embracing him—all visible to Vox. Despite his busy schedule, Vox always kept an eye on you through the multitude of screens around pentagram city. And the sight of you so cozied up with the hellhound, left him seething.

What intensified the situation was your final gesture. As you bid farewell in front of the Vees' tower, you made the hellhound lean down for a thank-you kiss on the cheek, this fuelling your boyfriend's rage and insecurities. After that, you simply entered the building, mentally preparing for the upcoming interaction with Vox.

As you exited the elevator, Vox stood right in front, evidently having anticipated your return. As you locked eyes with him, the flames of anger and jealousy practically radiated from his gaze. It seemed your somewhat sadistic display had made a number on him.

"Hey, Vox, baby. How's it going? I thought you were too busy to step out of your office," you nonchalantly remarked, playing the coy card. Before you knew it, one of his clawed hands circled your waist, while the other firmly grasped your chin.

"Yeah, I was one incredibly busy man this morning, busting my ass to keep this shit show afloat. However, my partner seems to be utterly indifferent to it all. It looked as if they couldn't care less, with the way they were all over that hellhound-nobody," he remarks, his hand at your waist pressing into your skin.

"Oh, what on sweet hell could you be referring to?" you playfully feign innocence, this only aggravating your boyfriend's frustration.

"Do play games with me, whore. You know exactly what you were up to, the fact have eyes everywhere, and despite today's incident, I won't fire that guy because he's loyal." His face inches closer to yours, "If you were so desperate for my cock that you went out of your way to mess with me, you could’ve said so baby~ And I would’ve had you sucking me off as I work. But noooo, you just had to be be a a fucking slut and piss me off. Now let's see where that misbehaviour gets you, bitch.”

Now, bent over his lap, bottoms off, you endure the consequences as he delivers hits to your behind, while he casually sipped on a glass of whiskey;

You flinched slightly at each slap, but didn't dare to yell or struggle. Instead, you bit your lower lip and whimpered softly, your body trembling with each impact.

Your mind raced with thoughts of how much you deserved this punishment, how much you craved it.

"Please, sir, stop, it hurt ‘so much!" you whimpered between each strike, your voice cracking with each word. "I'll be a good, I promise."

"You’ll be good? Ha! What a fucking joke. You're lucky I don't break your pretty little neck right here and now. But since you asked nicely, maybe I'll i won’t hurt you as bad, this once. Now stand up straight and face me like the disobedient whore you are."

Slowly, you stood up straight, your legs trembling slightly as you awaited his next move. "Thank you, sir."

"That's better," he said putting his drink down on the nightstand, his voice laced with distain yet also a hint of satisfaction. "Now, strip for me."

You hesitated for a moment, debating whether to push your luck or not. But then again, you knew better than to defy him twice in a row. Slowly, you took off your sweater, removing a layer of heat.

Next came the your top, you began to undo the buttons of your shirt, revealing your chest.

You stood there, naked and ass completely bare, feeling exposed and vulnerable yet somehow aroused by the power he held over you.

"Turn around," he commanded coldly. Reluctantly, you turned around, your ass wiggling seductively as you did so. "Now, get on the bed, all fours, and face the mirror."

You complied reluctantly, feeling your heart race with anticipation mixed with fear. You knew what was coming next, but it didn't make it any easier to endure. You could feel his presence looming over you, his heat radiating off his body.

"That’s it bitch," he praised, his voice dripping with false reassurance. "Now, spread your legs."

You widened your stance, exposing your parts to him, the scent of arousal filling the air around you. "That's a good whore," he complimented, his hand reaching out to grab your hair and pull your head back forcefully, so you would be looking straight at the mirror.

"Look at me," he growled, his eyes boring into yours through the reflection. "Do you understand what happens to misbehaving sluts like you?"

"No," you managed to croak out, your voice barely above the sound of your pounding heart. "I-I don't know."

"Then let me educate you," he said coldly, his hand reaching out to slap your ass hard enough to leave a mark. "This is what happens to disobedient whores like you." Meanwhile he had removed his other hand from your hair, using it it to play with your front, ‘how kind of him~’

With each slap, his hand left a stinging mark on your ass, making it throb with each impact. The pain mixed with the humiliation and arousal, making it difficult for you to think straight. You squirmed and whimpered, trying to escape the torment but knowing it was futile.

"Please, sir," you begged between slaps, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'll be good. Just give me something more, please."

"You're sorry now? Too late for apologies, greedy bitch," he spits. But after a moment of consideration, he seems to have a change of perspective. With a wide grin on his face, “Okay then,” he says, releasing you and getting himself confortable on the bed. “Crawl over here and worship my cock, and I’ll consider forgiving you."

With shaking legs, you crawled towards him, your eyes locked on his hardened member, throbbing with desire through the fabric of his expensive pants. You reached out and undid them, pulling down his boxers and wrapped your lips around the head. Taking as much of his cock into your mouth as you could.

"Fuck," he says a bit breathless, this followed by his hand roughly grabbing your hair and pulling your head back and forth, face-fucking you.

"That’s right, show me how much you want me, how much you need my cock inside you."

You moaned around his cock, sucking and slurping greedily, your tongue swirling around the head, trying to please him. Your hands reached up, grasping his thighs, leaving wrinkles on the fabric as you held on tightly.

"Good," he praised, his voice becoming more husky with desire. "Now, let’s go back to the previous position." He tells you, forcefully pulling you off his dick.

With that you had his hand at your hole, rubbing and teasing your entrance "Spread your legs wider, and besides that, don't move a muscle."

You obeyed, spreading your legs wider, exposing yourself fully to him. He continued to tease and torment you, spiting on his fingers, he then digs into your sensitive spot, making you moan and writhe in pleasure mixed with pain.

"Tell me you're mine, bitch, that you belong to me," he demanded, his voice low and commanding. "Tell me you'll do whatever I want, whenever I want."

"I'm yours, Vox," you managed to choke out, your voice cracking with each word. "I'll do anything you want!"

"That's better," he purred, his fingers leaving your hole and moving to your nipples instead. He pinched and twisted them mercilessly, causing you to arch your back and cry out at the painfully mix of sensation.

"Now, beg me to claim you as my own, not anyone else,"

"Please, Vox, claim me as yours," you begged, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I'm yours, I belong to you. Take me however you want, whenever you want."

"Seems like your not completely braindead after all," he sorta praises, his voice laced with satisfaction. "Keep your legs open like that."

"Yes, Vox," you managed to mumble out, your voice trembling with fear and arousal.

“That’s it," his voice dripping with false affection. "You better be ready, because I’m still pissed."

Without warning, he grabbed your hair again, pulling your head back forcefully, exposing your neck to him. "This is for disobeying me earlier today," he growled, his sharp teeth shining in the light as he bit down hard on your neck. His teeth sank deep into your skin, sure to leave a mark.

As he moved to bite another spot, you writhed and squirmed beneath him, unable to escape his hold. His tongue darted out to clean up the blood that trickled down your throat. Meanwhile, his other hand reached between your legs one more, finding your front and playing with it vigorously, driving you wild with desire.

"You taste so fucking good, slut," he growled as his mouth was now at your lips, his voice hoarse with desire. "Don’t fucking play with me again like that what you did today, understand?"

"Yes, Vox," you managed to choke out between gasps, your body trembling with the combination of pain and pleasure. "I won’t.” A lie you were both aware of.

"That's a good bitch," he praised, releasing your neck and licking the mark he had left on your neck clean. His hands now solely focused on making you climax, in addition he would let out some electricity coarse through his and consequently your body.

Your body still trembling with the aftermath of his earlier assault, and his current touches weren’t helping you to stabilize. Your eyes rolled back as you felt close, ‘close to finally cumming.’

"Look at yourself, Y/N," he tells, his voice low and demeaning, well aware you couldn’t look at your self with the way we’re rolled back. "So fucking pathetic and needy for release… Beg for it.”

And so you did, "P-please, Vox... I need it so bad," you begged, your voice cracking with desire. "Please, let me cum."

His laughter reverberated in your ears as he continued to tease you mercilessly. "You want it so badly, don't you?" he asked, his fingers working faster and harder between your legs, more and more shocks divulging from him.

Your mind drifted away from reality as you felt the edge of orgasm getting closer and closer, your body tensing up in anticipation. "Please, Vox!" you cried out, unable to resist any longer.

"Do you understand now?" he asked, his voice laced with satisfaction. "Do you understand your place in this world and how you belong by my side only?"

"Yes, Vox," you managed to choke out, your voice barely audible over the sound of your heavy breathing.

And a simple, “Cum.” was all it took for you to completely let go and the waves of pleasure take your body over….

You winced in pain while observing your reflection in the mirror. Bruises and bite marks adorned your body, and your swollen ass bore the aftermath of his restless assault. Dried tears stained your cheeks.

Then, Vox tenderly stroked your head, followed by a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Love you, babes, but don’t fuck with me like that again"

An ‘okay’ was all you had said before falling asleep.

✮ Velvette ✮

Despite possessing a sharp tongue herself, she has zero tolerance for sassiness or misbehavior. It's strictly 'her way or the highway, bitch!'

A single word out of place, and she'd swiftly grab your face, calling you out and issuing a stern warning to behave, unless you wanted to witness her truly angry.

Naturally, her warnings failed to deter you from persisting in your bratty behaviors; 'it didn't before, so why should it now?'

Turns out getting on Velvette bad side, wasn't as smooth sailing as your moment of unwarranted confidence led you to believe.

You might have casually stroll through her studio, engaging in conversation with her employees, consequently diverting their attention from work.

All this, despite their already tight schedule that you were acutely aware of, thanks to Velvette's hours-long bitching about it.

Nonetheless, you proceeded with your plan. In all honesty, given the hectic schedule leading up to the fashion show, Velvette had minimal time for you. Despite her efforts to squeeze out a few moments, the occasional 30 minutes a day left you unsatisfied.

If she wasn't going to provide the attention you craved, ‘you were determined to seek it elsewhere, easy peezy—‘ or so you believed.

Spotting you getting overly friendly with one of her models, she would forcefully pull you into a changing room, securing your wrist against the wall with one hand while using the other around your throat.

Insult would escape her lips as she vowed to in-still proper discipline in you in a more physical manner if simple phrases like 'I'm busy right now' failed to do the trick.

After leaving distinctive bite marks on your neck and collar, and leaving you with panting breath and puffy lips from an intense make-out session, she would resume her work. However, she would promise to teach you a lesson later that night as she exited the dressing room.

Honestly, among all three of the Vees, she was the only one with the decency not to do you in public.

"Today is already a mess, but you had to make it worse, you ungrateful bitch," Velvette exclaimed before storming out of her office, leaving you alone, bound, with vibrators attached to stimulate your body.

Now, how did it come to this? Let's rewind to 10:30 a.m.;

Velvette had overslept by an hour, throwing her entire schedule off, and in the world of fashion and social media, an hour is practically an eternity.

Despite consistently projecting an image of superiority, she was visibly rattled by being late. Knowing she couldn't control or turn back time, she relied on meticulous planning to leash the day. She's a bit of a control freak, if you hadn't noticed.

After a challenging morning of tackling voicemails and addressing urgent missed calls, Velvette managed to regain her momentum. Things were sailing smoothly until Valentino made an appearance.

Apparently, one of his employees had been shot in the face the previous night, resulting in a disfigurement that rendered them unable to participate in the planned movie.

Clearly frustrated, Valentino stormed into Velvette's studio to bitch about the situation, throwing things around and even ripping apart one of Velvette’s workers. This compelled her to call in a backup model, with rates that would disrupt her budget.

Not only did Velvette find this model too expensive, but she also disapproved of their overly flirtatious attitude.

And that's where you entered the picture, making her already lousy day even more exasperating. You had awakened about 10 minutes after Velvette, disturbed by her loud conversations on the phone.

However, it didn't bother you too much since your morning routine wasn't significantly affected by the late wake-up call. As Velvette's sugar baby and partner, she paid you to prepare home-cooked meals, be there to listen to her vent, and look good. As long as you weren’t the one who’s oversleep, you were in the clear.

In contrast to her hectic morning, yours unfolded at a slow and leisurely pace. You took your time with skincare and haircare, even savoring the breakfast you had prepared while Velvette rushed through hers to catch the elevator to her studio.

Despite disliking seeing her frowning and rushed in the mornings, you had held your tongue, aware that she wasn't in the mood to be told so. Besides, you couldn't help but smile when you noticed she had still laid out your outfit of the day despite her hurried state.

As half past noon approached, you descended in the elevator to her studio, carrying a warm lunch. Knowing she needed some persuasion to take a break from work and eat, even though she paid you to prepare her meals.

When she initially dismissed you upon your approach, it wasn't surprising. That was the usual routine. However, typically, after 15-25 minutes, she'd relent. Well, that was the norm. This time, an hour had passed, and she still adamantly refused to pause.

Bored and hungry, the usual scene of you two enjoying a shared meal and exchanging affectionate words was absent. Normally, you'd be showering her with praise, boosting her pride and motivation with each word. ‘This was how things were supposed to be,’ you thought, yet here you were, seated on a plush satin-covered chair in a corner of the spacious room.

Contemplating leaving altogether, considering nobody in the studio cared about your presence except Velvette, and she was currently too busy to notice. As you prepared to depart, a manicured hand rested on your shoulder.

"Well, hello there, sweetheart. What's a pretty thing like you doing all alone?" inquired the attractive woman with whom you soon found yourself engaging in conversation with. Unbeknownst to you, she was the backup model Velvette disliked but had to call in.

What you did know was that from her flirty attitude, to the fact she was feeling you up and the eye fucking she was giving you, that woman was definitely hitting on you.

You also knew you should have told her that you were with Vel, but after feeling ignored and abandoned since this morning, it felt refreshing to have someone finally pay attention to you.

Around 2:25 p.m., Velvette finally took a break from work, envisioning a moment to share lunch with you and perhaps find comfort in your embrace.

However, that dreamy scenario shattered when she looked your way and spotted 'that bitch Bridgette Bastia' not only flirting with you, her hand around your waist, but also eating away at HER LUNCH.

To make matters worse, Bridgette whispered things in your ear, leading to giggles.

Unlike Valentino, Velvette wasn't one to tear employees apart; she preferred the more elegant approach of firing them.

However, witnessing the girl cozying up to you fueled a desire in her to do something far less refined. She wanted nothing more than stab the chick to death(well, second death).

When Velvette confronted you about the proximity between you and the model, you had the audacity to respond with a cheeky "What's wrong, babes? Thought you were busy," accompanied by a sly expression and tone.

In a fit of rage, Velvette pushed Bridgette away and seized your wrist, forcefully ushering you into her office and slamming the door shut behind you;

"Today is already a mess, but you had to make it worse, you ungrateful bitch. Allowing that cunt to touch you so freely! Are you that much of a whore that you can't stand to not have someone laying their hands on you for a moment?" Velvette spat at you, accentuating her anger with a furious fist slam.

She yearned to make you suffer for intensifying her frustration, but hitting wasn't her style, and mere verbal assaults wouldn't suffice. That's when what she considered a brilliant idea struck her.

Utilizing her clothing transformation ability, she effortlessly rendered you completely exposed and bound with a mere swipe of her finger. Your once classy outfit morphed into an intricate arrangement of tied ropes, forming a captivating star-shaped pattern across your chest, in addition to a blindfold obscuring your vision, leaving you helpless in both movement and sight.

To escalate matters, she procured a vibrator from her office drawer and a ball gag she had used for a recent BDSM-themed shoot.

"You want to play the part of a needy slut, so I'll treat you as such," she whispered into your ear.

Following that, she attached the vibrator to your parts, setting it to medium vibration. It was intense enough to make your body react, but not strong enough to get you off.

"Behave until I return," she stated before departing, leaving you alone and exposed in the secluded offices.

Feeling the sensation of the vibrations consuming you, you clung to the hope that she was merely bluffing and would return soon.

Yet, you were well aware not to rely on that expectation. Once Velvette made up her mind, nothing you could say or do would alter her decision. ‘Knowing her, it wouldn't be surprising if she left you in that room until the end of her workday.’

As time passed the vibrations continued to pulse through your body, you couldn't help but feel a mix of anxiety and arousal. Velvette's actions were surprising but far from unpredictable. She had always been domineering and controlling, but this was on a whole new level.

You couldn't help but wonder how long you would be left like this, 3 hours had already passed by now, 2 more and the day would be over. ‘Did she forget you were in there, or was she intentionally keep you bound and stimulated to teach you a lesson?’

Your mind began to race with thoughts of escape. With your hands tied, it wouldn't be easy, but surely you could find a way to free yourself. The sensation of vibrator was becoming more intense with each passing minute, making it harder to concentrate on your predicament.

As you wriggled and squirmed, trying to find a way to release yourself, the door to the office creaked open. You tensed up, hoping it was Velvette, ready to release you from your captive state.

But instead, it was none other than Valentino, a cloud of red smoke surrounding him, and a smirk appearing on his face as he took in the sight before him.

"Well, well, look who we have here," Valentino drawled with his condescending smirk, his eyes inspecting your bound and stimulated form. "I guess you've managed to piss off our dear Velvette, huh? Serves you right. I've always known you were spoiled little bitch that didn’t know their place."

He sauntered over to you, his black heel boots clicking against the hardwood floor. "Thought you could get away with flirting with another woman right in her studio? You're a dumber than I if you thought she'd let that slide."

He leaned in close, his breath hot and rank against your ear. "She's got a mean streak, you know. You should have just waited patiently instead of pulling that kind of stunt. I’d keep my eyes peeled and my mouth shut from then on if I were you."

With that, Valentino turned on his heel and left the room, the door slamming shut behind him, leaving you alone in the room now filled with smoke with your humiliation and aching body…

About 10 minutes later Velvette stormed into the office, her face twisted in anger. She had received a text message from Valentino, no doubt gloating about the situation he had just witnessed.

Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the scene before her: you, bound and stimulated, with a look of both embarrassment and arousal on your face.

Velvette's lips curled into a sneer as she stepped into the room, a mixture of anger and amusement playing across her features. "What a fucking mess," she muttered under her breath, crossing the room to stand before you.

"I told you to behave, and this is what happens? Valentino gets a peek at your pathetic state," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She reached down and flicked the vibrators, making you flinch and moan softly around your gag.

"Oh, look at that, you're already soaking wet," she teased, her fingers tracing the contours of the vibrator attached to you. "I can't believe I have to deal with this. And here I thought you were smarter than that.”

Velvette couldn't resist the urge to taunt you further, her fingers gently probing your slick, throbbing intimates. She knew full well the effect it would have on you, and the way you squirmed only fueled her desire to humiliate you.

"You're so wet, darling. It's almost as if you enjoyed having Valentino see you like this," she said, her voice low and dangerous. "I'll make sure to tell him how wet you got from the embarrassment. Bet that moth fucker would love that, and so would you."

Obviously you weren’t into Valentino, and seeing like that you was the last you had wanted. So of course you violently shook your head in didn’t disagreement at the mention of her telling him more about your current interactions.

Thought being rendered Velvette’s pathetic bitch was hot, and an observer only reaffirmed the situation. ‘So maybe him walking in wasn’t ‘that’ unpleasant—‘

Her fingers danced against your most sensitive spots, eliciting strangled moans from you. "You're such a terrible liar, you know that? I can always see right through you," she continued, her voice a mixture of anger and arousal.

Despite your frustration and embarrassment, you couldn't deny the pleasure coursing through you with each touch from Velvette's skilled fingers. Her words and actions were cruel, yet they only seemed to heighten your arousal. As some sort of grace, she had removed the gag from you.

"It's not my fault he came in here," you whimpered . "I didn't invite him."

"Oh, please," Velvette scoffed, her fingers continuing their dance. "You're always looking for attention, always seeking validation from others. It's disgusting." Obviously she knew what she was saying was bullshit but it was fun taunt.

She increased the pressure, your body arching in response. "You should be grateful I haven't given you to him yet. He'd probably enjoy watching you squirm even more than I do."

Her words stung, but they also fueled your arousal. You knew she was right; you did crave attention, and Velvette's treatment of you only made it worse.

"Please, Velvette," you pleaded, your voice barely audible. "I'm sorry. Just let me cum please." Hours of stimulation plus the added stimulation had become to much for you, if you didn’t cum soon you would go crazy.

Velvette smirked at your plea, her fingers slowing down for a moment. "Oh, you want to cum, is that so?" she purred, stepping closer to you. "And what makes you thing you deserve it, huh? After your behaviour today, you’re gonna have to earn it."

She reached down and untying the vibration, removing it from your body altogether. "Now, you're going to eat me out and beg for me to make you cum. If you do a good job, I might just let you."

You felt a mixture of relief and panic as the vibrators were removed. While your body ached for release, the idea of pleasuring Velvette made you both nervous and excited, especially because your climax depended on it.

"Don't disappoint me," she warned, her eyes locked on yours. "I'm not in the mood for any more disobedience."

With a final glare, she stepped back, giving you room to kneel before her. Your heart raced as you watched her unzip her pants, revealing pretty pussy.

You hesitated for a moment, your eyes flicking between Velvette's smirking face and the task ahead of you. You could feel the tension in your body, the need to cum be touched overwhelming. But you knew you had no choice but to obey.

Mustering your courage, you lowered your head, your tongue darting out to trace the edge of Velvette's lace panties. The fabric was slick with arousal, and you knew she was already wet for you. She removed the arrival clothing herself as you were still bound.

With a deep breath, you began to lick and suck, your hands in fist to bring yourself some security. Velvette's hands threaded through your hair, guiding you as you tasted her.

"That's it, slut," she hissed, her voice low and dark. "Show me how sorry you are."

You redoubled your efforts, licking and nibbling at her skin, flicking your tongue against her clit. Velvette's breath hitched, her fingers tightening in your hair.

"Fuck, that feels good," she growled, her body arching into your mouth. "But you still haven't earned your orgasm."

You knew she was right, and you concentrated on pleasing her, your tongue working in tandem. Velvette's moans grew louder, her thighs shaking.

"You're doing well, Y/N," she said, her voice a ragged whisper. "But you still have a long way to go."

Velvette's voice was sharp, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulled your head back. "Apologize for talking to that model," she demanded, her eyes like ice. "Admit that you were in the wrong,”

You hesitated, your heart pounding in your chest. Saying the words would be humiliating, but you needed relief.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice breathy. "I shouldn't have talked to her. I was wrong."

Velvette's fingers loosened, her eyes narrowing. “Better,” she said, her voice still icy. "Now finish making me come, and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you cum."

You augmented your efforts, your tongue working with renewed vigor. Velvette's moans grew louder, her body trembling.

"You're close," you murmured against her folds, your own arousal reaching new heights, despite being the one getting dominated it was still hot to see her all shaky.

Velvette's body tensed, her moans growing louder as you brought her to orgasm. Her release washed over you, her juices coating your tongue and face.

"Good bitch," she panted, her body shuddering.

With that, Velvette pulled you to your feet, your bodies pressed together. Her fingers found your front once more, teasing you before starting to jerk you.

"Spread your legs," she ordered, her voice harsh. "I want a good view of your pretty body."

You complied, your heart racing. Velvette's hands played you like a fiddle, her gaze locked on your face.

"You're so wet," she said, her voice a mix of satisfaction and anger. "No wonder Valentino was so fucking smug about it."

Your body throbbed, the need for release growing stronger. Velvette's hands moved faster, her gaze never leaving your face.

"Beg me for it," she said, her voice low and dangerous. "Beg me to make you cum."

You hesitated, your breath hitching. Asking for her permission felt like a betrayal of yourself, but you needed relief.

"Please, Velvette," you whispered, your voice shaking. "I need to cum. Please let me cum."

Her fingers paused for a moment, her eyes locked on yours. "You're so desperate, aren't you?" she purred, her fingers resuming their pace.

She increased her pace, her hands toying with you with expert precision. Your body ached, your moans growing louder.

"Tell me how much you want it," she commanded, her voice a low growl. "Tell me how much you need to cum."

You hesitated, your face flushing, but you needed her permission.

"I need it, Velvette," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I need to cum so bad."

Her fingers slowed, her eyes never leaving your face. "You better make a good show, slut," she said, her voice tight. "Or I'll make you wait even longer next time."

Velvette's hands going faster, your body arching in response. You could feel the orgasm building, your breath coming in short bursts.

"That's it, Y/N," she growled, her voice low and dangerous. "Come for me."

With a final surge, you came, your body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you. Velvette's hnads never stopped, her thumb brushing against your most sensitive part.

"That’s my good bitch," she said, her voice satisfied. "Now, I think it's time for a reward."

She pulled her fingers from your body, her eyes locked on your face. She leaned in, her lips brushing against yours. The kiss was rough, her tongue probing your mouth.

Velvette pulled away, her eyes still locked on yours. "You'll learn to behave next time, won't you?" she asked, her voice soft but firm.

You nodded, your body still trembling from your orgasm. As much as the experience had been humiliating and degrading, there was something thrilling about it, too.

"Yes, Velvette," you whispered, feeling both exhausted and satisfied.

With that she untied you, dressed you back up and sent you on your merry way to your shared room…

𝐕 Valentino & Vox 𝐕

Is one cock truly not enough for you, greedy whore~

Firstly, what possessed you to believe that engaging in any kind of relationship with both of them was an intelligent idea? Dealing with one is bad enough, but two? Are y’a crazy bitch?! (By the way, the bitch is me, I need these motherfucker to tag team me. Now that this is said, no more interruptions.)

Initially, this situation would be chaotic, not only due to the on and off relationship these two shared but now, you're also giving them attitude? ‘Who the fuck do you think you are?!’

The atmosphere would swiftly shift, with Val embodying his short-tempered self, and Vox grappling with frustration, both using you as some sort of stress reliever as they would fuck you until they were relaxed.

Picture this: Val once again enraged at an employee, Vox desperately attempting to pacify him. You entering the room, trying to innocently retrieving your charger left there this morning—‘nothing too troublesome, nothing to escalate their moods, right?’

Well, not quite. The catch is that your attire was entirely off the mark. Despite it being a Wednesday, the designated day for pink attire as Val had explicitly stated, your outfit missed the mark.

And it wasn't just Val overseeing your wardrobe; Vox had explicitly forbidden overly revealing clothing, especially when walking through the Vees' tower where anyone could catch an eyeful of you.

The burning question on both of their minds, as you discreetly attempted to grab your belongings and make your exit, was: 'Why the fuck were you in that skimpy red outfit?!' (It’s also that fucking radio demon’s color! — Vox)

It wouldn't take long for the situation to escalate into a heated argument. You asserting your independence, claiming the right to wear whatever you pleased, and their response insisting you belonged to them, hence you would dress as instructed. In addition, you would also insults their masculinity and critiques of their chosen attire for the day, as some sort of pay back.

Controlling your clothing marked an expression of their intense possessiveness. Despite its occasional annoyance, you found it fucking thrilling to be both their lover and plaything.

And as you would flip them off and attempting to leave the room, you'd feel a pair of clawed arms wrapping around you, digging into your flesh and forcefully pulling you back in. With that you would end up all tied up, and edge by those two shitheads. Malicious grins plastered on their faces.

If 'dressing like a depraved bitch in heat and act out,' was what you whole heartedly desired, then they would just have to mold you into a well-behaved little thing, one way or another.

Eventually, you'd be so thoroughly overwhelmed and overstimulated that the thought of defying them, or anything thought for that matter, would be far from your mind. But ‘hey, a win is a win!’

The day kicked off on a hot, particularly for your two Overlord boyfriends….

Valentino tenderly woke you with a kiss on your hair, while Vox used tender words to bring you back to reality.

"Y/N, sweetheart, time to wake up," Vox said, your body jerking awake. As you rubbed your eyes, Valentino left a trail of kisses from your shoulder to jaw. "We wouldn't want our sweet Y/N eating breakfast alone," he whispered into your ear.

You pulled away the covers, stood up, and let out a satisfied groan as you stretched. Continuing with your morning routine, you decided to spice things up when having taken a glance at your fully laid out outfit of the day.

Facing your fully clothed boyfriends on the heart-shaped bed, you sensually removed your pajamas, earning a whistle from Valentino and an open-mouthed stare from Vox.

Fully nude, you executed a reverse striptease, putting on your fresh clothes with the same sexed up attitude you just had when shedding yourself of your pyjama.

Once dressed, you completed your look, including jewelry, hair, skincare, and makeup. Slipping away to the kitchen, you avoided the customary morning kiss, leaving your lovers slightly irked.

Your deliberate avoidance continued at the breakfast table, and although they were busy, your actions left them with a slightly sour mood due to the absence of the usual morning ritual.

Meanwhile, you reveled in the small power trip of influencing the moods of these powerful men with such little actions.

Several hours had elapsed, and it was now lunchtime. Knowing Val, he was likely already enjoying his meal, while your TV-headed boyfriend, Vox, was likely too absorbed in his usual surveillance to remember the existence of food.

Being the thoughtful partner you were, you whipped up something delicious and nutritious, heading to the underground watching room before Vox could realize his hunger and order his usual unhealthy fast food.

Despite his argument that the food he consumed you considered ‘shitty’ was quicker and simpler to get a hold of, you knew the toll it took on his energy, sleep, and mood swings. So once you became close enough to speak your mind, you had 'aggressively kindly' nudged him toward a better diet;

As the lift platform halted, holding a picnic basket, you walked the catwalk towards Vox's chair. Catching him fixated on the screens with no food in sight, you leaned in and playfully said, "boo!" prompting a high-pitched scream from Vox, earning a smirk from you and a groggy reaction from him.

However, his demeanor swiftly changed as he received the first kiss of the day from you and noticed the basket in your hand, realizing it was likely a meal you had prepared to share.

Grabbing the basket, he placed it on his desk and pulled you onto his lap by the hips. You both began eating, with you feeding him – a domestic sight only accessible to you and the other Vees.

As you continued to feed Vox, you couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him. You started grinding your hips against his lap, feeling his growing erection beneath you. Your hand slid up and down his thigh, sending electric shocks through his body. He groaned into his food, clearly enjoying the attention.

After you finished our meal, you stood up, playfully caressing the edge of his screen and smirking at the eager expression on Vox's face. "You know what, Voxy? You seem mighty stressed to me, and I feel it’s only right for me to do something about it, right?"

His eyes widened in anticipation, and you could see the hint of a blush on his TV screen. you leaned in close to his ear, your lips grazing the monitor as you whispered, "You wanted that, don’t you?. emphasizing your words by grinding against him once more.

Vox couldn't help but moan softly at the thought of what you had planned for him. His eyes darted around the screens, trying to find a way to distract himself from the tempting proposition, but that did nothing to help his heighten arousal.

As you began to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants, he bit his lip to stifle another moan. "I can't believe you're doing this right after lunch," he murmured, his voice trembling with desire. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that, right?"

You chuckled softly, a wicked glint in your eyes as you lowered yourself to your knees in front of him. Your fingers deftly undid the final buttons and pulled his pants down, revealing his already hard member. A smirk graced your lips as you teased him by trailing your fingertips along the length of his cock.

Vox's breath hitched, his eyes closing tightly as he tried to maintain control. You leaned in closer, the warmth of your breath causing him to shiver. "You're so hard for me, Vox," you taunted, but soon got to the task ahead.

You eagerly took Vox's length into your mouth, you tongue tracing the vein that ran down the underside of his member. You sucked him diligently, your cheeks hollowing as you bobbed your head up and down, your eyes locked on his. Vox's fingers threaded through your hair, his breath coming in sharp gasps as the pleasure washed over him.

As the sensations built, his hips began to buck, his moans growing louder and more urgent. Just as he was about to reach his peak, you pulled back, a wicked grin on your face. Causing Vox to let out a dissatisfied whine.

So with a giggle, you stood up, you kissed the side of his monitor and quickly took your leave before he could fully register that you had left him panting and desperate.

As he regained his senses, his mood was certainly not the best,— let’s just say he was pissed when he was force to take care of the erection you had caused.

Continuing with your day, it was now a quarter past four, and you knew Valentino was still shooting. With the same mischievous spirit you had when you visited Vox, you headed to Valentino’s studio.

Luck was on your side as they were on a 10-minute break, so Val wouldn’t be bothered by your sudden arrival. In fact, he seemed delighted to see you, welcoming you with a hug that involved all four of his arms.

In return for his affection, you gave him some of yours, expressing it with a soft, sweet, and brief kiss. But of course, the overlord of lust and depravity wasn’t satisfied with such a short gesture, especially considering the state you’d put him in since that morning with your little stunt.

With two arms propping you up and the others encircling you, he pulled you in closer, one hand lifting your chin to bring your lips together. And oh, what a kiss it was.

Your kiss was far from gentle; it was a collision of desire and intensity, fueled by primal instincts and raw passion. He drew you closer, if that was even possible, his hands gripping you fiercely as your lips met with a hunger that bordered on desperation. There was an urgency to your embrace, a need to consume each other completely. Your mouths moved hungrily against each other, teeth clashing and tongues dueling in a fierce battle for dominance—a battle that Valentino obviously won.

His touch was possessive, leaving trails of fire in its wake as he explored every inch of your skin with a roughness that sent shivers down your spine. You responded in kind, your nails digging into his back.

Your kiss was a whirlwind of passion and desire, leaving you both breathless and panting when you finally parted.

As he lowered you down, you felt slightly dizzy, ‘must be Val’s toxins’. It was then that you noticed some staff members had stopped their work just to watch you, and you couldn't help but shoot Valentino a glare after assessing the situation as ‘that bastard knew you were being watch but didn’t say shit so that his employee stopped, even a simple wave from him would’ve have done the trick’. However, he only chuckled in response.

Taking his place in his director's chair, he stared at you intently before patting his lap. “Won’t you stay with papi and watch? After all, you did spend lunch with Voxxy. Won’t you do this for me, cariño?” he asked, his request momentarily distracting you from your thoughts.

It took you a moment to comply, your mind still processing the mention of lunch with Vox. ‘Had Vox told him what you’d done? Probably not, knowing Vox wouldn’t admit to being played like a fiddle by you. Then how—oh yeah, Vox took a selfie while you were feeding him, and he likely sent it to Val.’

With that revelation out of your mind, you settled into Valentino’s lap, one of his arms around your waist while the other had already started traced patterns on your thigh.

As the shoot began, you decided that Valentino should also get some of your ‘special attention’. With that in mind, you started to roll your hips. However, Valentino was quick to stop you in your tracks, his hand on your waist drawing you closer while the one on your throat and another on your thigh roughly squeezed the flesh as a way to say ‘stop’.

You listened to his warning, for a moment... stopping for 5 minutes or so before starting again, earning a hitched breath from the tall moth. His hold became more aggressive, slightly bending forward to whisper in your ear, “You’re really testing my patience, mi amor, and I’d suggest you stop unless you want me to fuck you right here and there in front of everyone.”

But you replied coyly with, “I don’t know what you're talking about,” emphasizing your words with another roll of your hips.

Despite Valentino being a sex maniac, just like Vox, he had grown too possessive to let others see you in such an intimate position, not even as punishment. So his current threat was all bark and no bite, and you both knew it.

He quickly realized that you knew, which caused him to ‘tsk’ and sit back. The man was too prideful to admit you were affecting him to the point where he couldn’t focus on his work properly. So his plan was to wait it out, to wait until the end of the shoot so he could put you in your place.

But by now, you knew him and his work too well. So, 30 minutes before it was over, you got up, informing Val that you had to go on a ‘bathroom break’. Of course, he allowed it, playing the role of the unaffected and non-retaliating.

But the catch that Valentino hadn’t anticipated was, this wasn’t a bathroom break; you had just run away without him noticing, leaving him to take care of his hard one just like you had done with Vox.

You giggled as you sat on your bed, thinking about how he would react when the shoot finally ended and everything clicked. And since you were already long gone, for time efficiency, he would just move on to the next shoot instead of chasing after you.

After all, he was on a time crunch; he probably only had 20 minutes or so of a break to take care of himself, definitely not enough time to find you and fuck you.

It was now 6 p.m., and you were out and about with Velvette, having grown close through your relationships with the two boys. She found you fun, and you could say the same about her. So it wasn’t out of the ordinary when she sent a text to each of them that she was taking ‘their bitch out to party’. As usual, she didn’t listen when they told her not to; she wanted to party with her bestie, and their boyfriends definitely weren’t going to stop her.

So there you were, clubbing hard, singing along loudly, dancing your ass off, and drinking in a manner that was definitely overindulgent, but who cared? You weren’t going to die from it.

As you were chatting it up with Velvette, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you were met with quite the good-looking hellhound. He introduced himself as Marco and thought you were cute. He wanted to see if you could get drinks together, maybe exchange numbers. He was sweet and wasn’t forcing himself on you or anything, so you spoke honestly to him.

“I’m going to level with you, Marco,” you said. “Okay,” he replied.

“You seem like a very sweet hound, but I’m currently in a wonderful relationship with the loves of my life, or is it afterlife?—anyways, what I mean to say is thanks for the offer, but I can’t accept.” You rambled due to the alcohol already in your system, and Marco expressed that he understood and was happy for you.

But then an idea came to mind. “But could I actually ask you a favour, Marco?” you inquired.

“Sure, as long as it’s not too extravagant of an ask,” he replied.

“Never. Anywho, I was wondering if you’d be down to take a selfie with me, nothing too intimate, but you’d be holding me in it, like a really close hug. I want to tease my boyfriends, and that’ll definitely do the trick,” you told him.

He pondered for a second, then a “Sure, why not?” came out.

And so the selfie-taking proceeded. You followed through on your words, nothing but his hands around your waist. You knew that would get another rise from your ‘tv head and moth man’ when they saw your new Sinstagram post.

Were they going to do anything to Marco? No. You’d say something along the lines of ‘I’ll never forgive you’ and give them the cold shoulder if they did. Plus, they’d know this was just teasing, nothing more. If you had intended to make them furious, you would have kissed the guy.

Putting your phone down after posting the selfie with a couple of different pictures from the night, you soon felt it buzz. Looking at the notifications, they were texts from Vox and Valentino. But in your drunk and teasing mindset, you decided to ignore them, just shooting a glance at Velvette, which she understood meant ‘you can text them if they ask about me, but I won’t be doing it.’

She only rolled her eyes at that look but then chuckled at the thought of the state you probably had Valentino and Vox in, because those guys had some serious jealousy issues.

9 p.m. had hit, and you and Velvette had decided you were good for the night. So, calling your driver, you waited by the curb.

“You know they’re going to fuck the shit out of you for that little picture,” she said before taking a hit of her vape.

“Oh, I’m counting on it. That’s why I already left both of them high and dry separately today,” you replied. She looked at you, surprised for a second, then burst out laughing.

“Bitch, you’re crazy! That’s why I like you, though.” With that said, the car had finally arrived, and in about 15 minutes, you were back at the tower.

Velvette had shot you a teasing ‘good luck’ once you both had stepped out of the elevator on the last floor.

You took off your shoes before entering your room. Pushing the door open, you were met with your two boyfriends sitting on your bed, staring straight at you. They must have been waiting for your return.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with their presence, Val. It’s our little professional photographer," Vox remarks, his tone laced with amusement and spite.

"Oh, indeed, Vox. It seems that truly adore the art, don't they? So much so that they’ll snap a pic at any given opportunity, regardless of who they're doing it with." Val adds, his words carrying a subtle innuendo.

"Oh please, it was just a hug," you retorted dismissively as you turned away from them, starting to change out of your outing clothes.

"Just a hug? JUST A HUG?!!" Valentino's voice rose with indignation. "That mutt was practically fucking you!" he exclaimed. Despite Valentino's tendency to exaggerate, he was jumping to the guns, Marco hadn’t even been groping you, but you refrained from pointing that out.

"That hellhound shouldn’t have been in your vicinity, point blank," Vox added, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Valentino's statement.

"You two are such babies, you should stop fussing over a little selfie already," you scoffed, turning your head to look at them as you removed your last article of clothing.

Retrieving a towel from your drawer, you mentally decided it was time for a shower. In their minds, however, they were planning to make you pay for that picture and for teasing them earlier in the day.

In your mind, you were now going to take a shower, seeking solace in the calming embrace of warm water. However, in their minds, they had already made a silent pact to exact retribution for the audaciousness you had when snapping that picture and your teasing behavior throughout the day.

As you reached for the bathroom door handle, on of Valentino's hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards the bed. His grip was firm but not painful, leaving no doubt that you were not going anywhere until they had made their point clear. Vox stood up and joined him, a predatory gleam in his eyes as he towered over you.

"We'll show you what happens when you play with fire, brat," Valentino growled, his voice low and threatening. Vox nodded in agreement, his expression mirroring Valentino's anger.

Before you could protest or plead, they had you pinned down on the bed, your struggles met with their iron grip. Their faces hovered over yours, their anger palpable in the way their eyes burned with intensity.

Vox and Valentino started discussing strategies on how best to punish you for your transgressions, right in front of you.

"We need to teach them a lesson," Vox declared,"Something... memorable."

"Agreed," Valentino chimed in, tightening his grip on you as you tried to shuffle around "Something... painful."

"Yes, yes, something painful," Vox echoed, rubbing his temples in frustration. "We need to make sure they knows who the boss is here."

In unison, they nodded ominously, their plans solidifying rapidly.

"This is what happens when you toy with us, bébé~" Valentino hissed, his free hand reaching for a belt that he kept nearby. The sound of leather hitting flesh echoed through the room as he brought it down on your thighs, the sting of each blow making you yelp in pain and surprise.

Vox watched with approval, his own arousal growing as he saw the marks forming on your skin. He moved closer, his fingers tracing the lines that Valentino was creating.

"You see this, doll," Vox purred, his voice low and seductive, "you see what you make us do when you behave like a brat. We don’t like hurting you,” a lie. “but can’t just let you do whatever, we do not tolerate petty disobedience, I thought you’d knew that by now."

His fingers trailed down to your chest, playing your now perked nipples. You squirmed beneath their touch, a mix of fear and arousal coursing through your veins.

Valentino paused momentarily, the belt falling limply to the side. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered "Remember this, cariño. We may love you, but that doesn’t mean you got free reins to be a bratty ass bitch."

With that, he released you, stepping back to allow Vox his turn. The television-headed demon's gaze never left your face as he took the belt from Valentino, his eyes flickering with anticipation.

Vox cracked the belt across your ass, the sharp sting catching you off guard. You cried out, your body arching involuntarily as the pain seared into your skin. But then, an unexpected warmth spread through you, a strange mixture of pain and pleasure that you couldn't quite comprehend.

Valentino watched from the corner of the room, his eyes locked onto your reactions. As you writhed beneath Vox's hand, he began undressing, slowly revealing his muscular form. He wore nothing but a pair of black silk boxers that did little to hide his arousal.

Once naked, he walked over to you, his steps confident and assured. He picked up a pair of handcuffs from the nightstand and began to tie your hands behind your back, securing your mouvement firmly. As the cuffs tightened, a jolt of arousal was sent through you.

Vox continued spanking you, alternating between the belt and his open palm. Your skin turned a darker shade, a testament to your punishment. Yet, despite the pain, you couldn't deny the rush of lust pulsating through your veins.

Finally, Vox stopped spanking you, satisfied with the sight of your reddened cheeks. He stepped back, admiring his work, before whispering softly, "Such a bad little thing, aren't you? But don't worry, we won't leave you like this. We're going to give you what you deserve."

Valentino knelt beside you, his eyes glinting with desire. He gently stroked your hair, whispering soothing words into your ear, "It's okay, amorcito. It's all going to be okay. Just let go."

Their words, combined with the physical pain, pushed you further into a state of heightened arousal. You felt your body responding to their dominance, your core throbbing in anticipation.

Valentino stood up, motioning for Vox to join him. They exchanged a heated glance, their shared desire evident. With a nod, they moved towards you, Vox taking your legs while Valentino held your torso. Together, they positioned you on your knees, your ass lifted invitingly.

Valentino reached for a bottle of lubricant from the nightstand, pouring a generous amount into his hand. He rubbed it on your entrance, preparing you for what was to come. Your breathing hitched as his cool touch met your heated core, sending shivers down your spine.

Quickly after, Vox moved behind you, his erection hard and ready. He positioned himself at your entrance, pausing briefly to grab your hair and look into your eyes. There was a mix of fear and lust in your gaze, and he smirked, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you.

With a swift thrust, he entered you, filling you completely. You gasped, your body adjusting to the invasion. His movements were slow and deliberate, each thrust pushing deeper inside you.

Valentino watched intently, his cock equally hard and ready. He practically couldn't wait for his turn, but first, he wanted to see the full effect of their domination on you.

Vox increased his pace, his thrusts becoming faster and harder. His grip on your hair tightened, his other hand holding onto your hip for support. Each time he slammed into you, your breasts bounced enticingly, drawing Valentino's attention.

"Look at them, Vox," Valentino said, his voice thick with desire. "See how much they wants this. How much they needs this."

Vox grunted in response, his movements becoming more erratic. He pulled you back, using your hair to lift your head, and you found yourself looking straight into his cyan-colored eyes.

"That's it, whore," he hissed, his voice low and menacing. "Take it like a good little slut."

Valentino joined in, running his hands over your body, pinching your nipples roughly. His touch was both tender and cruel, eliciting moans from you.

"You like this, don't you?" he taunted, his voice a soft purr. "You love when we’re mean to you, bitch~"

Vox then pulled you up into a chokehold, applying pressure to your throat. You struggled slightly, but the combination of pain and pleasure was overwhelming. Your body arched involuntarily, your climax approaching rapidly.

The pressure on your throat intensified, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. Your vision blurred, your world narrowing down to the sensations coursing through you. Everywhere Vox touched felt electrified, every thrust of his hips driving you higher.

"Cum for me, bitch," Vox snarled, his voice hoarse with desire. Valentino continued to play with your nipples with his top hands, as his bottom ones took care your front.

Your release was imminent, the pressure building within you threatening to burst. You mewled, your muscles clenching around Vox, your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave.

As you climaxed, Vox continued to choke you, his movements becoming wilder. You felt him swell inside you, his soon reached his climax.

Finally, he came, roaring your name as he filled you completely. He held you in the chokehold for a few more seconds before releasing you, allowing you to catch your breath.

Your breathing was hieratic as you felt your body plot down against the mattress. But to bass for you they didn’t intend on letting you rest.

Valentino stepped up behind you, his erection still throbbing. Without warning, he entered you from behind, his movements slow and deep. The sensation of being filled so so only after your first climax was quite the overstimulating one.

Without warning, Valentino pushed your head into the mattress, your face buried in the soft fabric. You gasped, feeling the sudden loss of control. He spanked you again, the sting mixing with the lingering ache from earlier.

"That's right, bitch," he growled, his voice rough. "Stay quiet. Take what I give you."

His thrusts became faster, his hips slamming into you with each movement. You could feel Vox's semen leaking out slightly, only to be replaced by Valentino's relentless pursuit.

Each strike of his hand echoed through the room, punctuating the sounds of your moans and their grunts. The pain and pleasure merged, creating a symphony of submission.

Valentino's fingers dug into your hips, gripping tightly as he pounded into you. Your body responded, moving with his rhythm, your inner walls milking him with each thrust.

Despite the pain, you couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of being owned, of being taken by these powerful beings. Their dominance over you was absolute, and it excited you beyond measure.

As Valentino neared his own climax, he tightened his grip on your hips, his thrusts becoming more frantic. Your body shook beneath him, your second orgasm building quickly.

"Come for me, slut," he demanded, his voice thick with desire. "Let me hear you scream!" He said as he pulled your hair, contradicting his previous statement about wanting you to be quite.

You complied, your orgasm hitting you like a freight train. Your entire body convulsed, your nails digging into the mattress as you screamed his name.

Valentino roared, his release pulsing inside you. He stayed still for a moment, catching his breath before withdrawing slowly.

As he stepped away, you collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily. The room was silent, save for your labored breaths.

Before you could recover, Valentino had wrapped his arms around you, his chin resting on your shoulder. He entered you from behind, his size stretching you wide. Your body trembled, your nerves overwhelmed by the dual invasion.

Following suit, Vox positioned himself in front of you, his erection already hard once more. Without warning, he slid back into you, his length filling you from the front. You cried out, your body protesting the overstimulation.

"Shhh, calm down ‘bébé’," Valentino whispered in your ear, his voice husky with desire. "We're not done with you yet."

Vox started thrusting, his movements slow and measured. Valentino followed his lead, their rhythms meshing perfectly. Your body bounced between them, caught in a vice of pleasure and pain.

They didn't care about your limits, your protests falling on deaf ears. Instead, they reveled in your discomfort, their own desires guiding their actions.

Their faces were etched with concentration, their eyes locked onto yours. They seemed almost hypnotized, lost in the act of taking you.

As they continued to thrust into you, their movements became more synchronized. Their bodies moved as one, their hips slapping against each other. In sync, they leaned in, capturing each other's lips in a fierce kiss.

Tongues tangling, their passion was palpable. It was a display of obsession and possession, leaving you breathless.

But their focus wasn't solely on each other. With one hand, Valentino gripped your hair, twisting it gently. Vox reached around, caressing your chest roughly.

Their kiss broke, Vox shifting his gaze to you. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. His tongue delved deep, claiming you as his own.

When he pulled away, Valentino took over, his lips crushing against yours in a brutal kiss. His hands wandered, cupping your face, and then moving down to your neck.

Between kisses, they continued to fuck you, their bodies merging with yours. Their actions spoke volumes - you belonged to them, and you should know better than to fuck with them.

With each kiss, your body grew more sensitive, your mind clouded with lust. Vox and Valentino fed off your reactions, their desire escalating.

"That's it, baby," Valentino murmured against your lips, his breath hot and heavy. "Let go for us." He said as he let his hands wonder down to your front to increased the sensation.

Vox nodded, his thrusts growing more forceful. "Yes, cum for us."

Between kisses, they increased their pace, their movements relentless. Your climax built quickly, your body shaking beneath them.

Finally, you came, screaming into Vox's mouth. Their thrust not relenting as they chased their own orgasm.

As Vox and Valentino neared their climaxes, their thrusts grew more desperate. Sweat dripped from their bodies, mingling with yours. Their gazes locked, a silent agreement passed between them.

With a roar, Valentino thrust deep inside you, his release spilling within you. At the same time, Vox claimed you once more, his cum joining lover’s.

You all panted heavily as they remained inside you, enjoying the aftermath of their conquest.

In the silence that followed, you lay between them, exhausted and spent.

Some ‘I love you’s were shared as you all drifted off, it looks like showering will a ‘tomorrow’ type of task…

Thanks anon for requesting!

©tswhiisfttedr. dn translate, or plagiarize.

Tip Me (Ko-Fi) & And support my art account @maviscarlettie

You can now commission me!

Reblogs help!!! (Request Are On Pause)

[lachesismoonmist]

JK Drabbles - One Shots #5 - Selfish

Summary: What happens when the "Ice Princess" neuro-surgeon meets the most eligible bachelor dashing cardiac surgeon? Could it be a match made in heaven? But fate tests their patience. Can their mutual attraction turn into something deeper? Or will selfishness tear everything apart?

Also posted on AO3 MY MASTERLIST

Masterlist for JK Drabbles - One Shots

#1 - Welcome Home #2 - Be My Slave #3 - Wait (Song Inspired) #4 - Days Without Incident #5 - Selfish (Song Inspired)

Pictures were taken from various Pintrest/Insta accounts via Google , some are AI generated

--------------

Chapter 5: Selfish - JK as boyfriend

Inspired by: "Selfish" by Justin Timberlake

"So if I get jealous, I can't help it I want every bit of you, I guess I'm selfish" – Justin Timberlake

Lyrics within the story are in Italics

A/N: I have to say upfront I don't know anything about surgery or surgeons, so bear with me. Also, see if you can find a reference to one of BTS's songs (Dimple). Heh heh.

------------------

Jungkook was not a jealous man. He was not an insecure man. But he couldn’t help the feeling of acid burning in his stomach at the way Namjoon held you so closely, arm around your waist.  The way you leaned into Namjoon’s touch.

But all he could do was watch from the sidelines.  Watch how proud the senior Dr Kim was as his son, Dr Kim Namjoon and his fiancé, Dr Lee Y/N, both renown neuro-surgeons, cut the ribbon to officially open the hospital’s new neurosurgery and research wing. 

You’d warned him. You needed to make an appearance. Dr Lee Y/N, the doting fiancé of Dr Kim Namjoon. The very same Dr Kim Namjoon whose family had basically provided all the funding to build the new wing. Jungkook had assured you he’d be fine.  He knew you had to put on a show. But he couldn’t stop his hands from curling into fists when Namjoon leaned down and kissed you on the cheek.  When he couldn’t seem to swallow past the lump in his throat as you smiled dazzlingly up at Namjoon, your eyes soft with affection.

The acid burned slow and low throughout the twenty-minute opening ceremony. Each time he heard a press photographer gush about how cute you looked with Namjoon, Jungkook clenched his jaw hard enough his felt his molars grinding against each other.

“Don’t Dr Kim and Dr Lee look so cute together?  This is a side of her she rarely shows!”

“Oh yes, to think she used to be called the ‘Ice Princess’!”

“We always knew they’d end up together! Their families are both from old money, and a long line of doctors.”

You were the best in your field.  People called you the “Ice Princess” precisely because you were that. Ice Cold. Unerringly precise.  Some said that was why you were so good at what you did.  You never cracked under pressure.  You did surgeries that would bring the most experienced surgeons to their knees.  You never let emotions get in the way.  You even looked the part.  Hair pulled back in a neat bun.  No make-up. You rarely smiled.  You were never rude. Just never warm.

Patients overlooked your shortcomings in the bedside manner department because of your brilliance.  You never sugar-coated anything or minced your words.  Truth be told, many patients and their families appreciated your candor.   They were paying top dollar for the best neurosurgeon in the region. Not for someone to mollycoddle them.

Your family was powerful.  Your family had influence. You learnt from a young age that people would try to get close for their own nefarious reasons.  You learnt to keep people at a distance.  You had a very small, very close circle of trusted friends. That, coupled with your ‘Ice Princess’ image made you seem extremely aloof. 

Hence the media’s fascination with how happy you looked on Namjoon’s arm at public events.  They’d never seen you look happy.  They gushed over how radiant you looked when you smiled.  They swooned when they discovered you had dimples, just like Namjoon’s.  One media outlet even called your dimples “illegal”. 

Little did they know the real reason behind how happy you looked.  It wasn’t because of Namjoon, though you loved him to bits.  He was like a brother to you.  You’d grown up together. Along with his sister Daeun, and the Parks,  Jimin and Ara. All three families went way back. All came from old money.  Ara, Daeun and you were the same age and were as close as sisters. 

Two other families were up there in the upper echelons as well, though their histories didn’t go back as far as yours – the Mins and the Jeons (Jungkook's family). Collectively these families were known as the “upper crust” families. The youngest generation, which included you, was now in their 20s.

It's bad for my mental, but I can't fight it, when You're out lookin' like you do, but you can't hide it, no

Jungkook knew Namjoon wasn’t the reason you looked so happy.  Jungkook knew that smile was not meant for Namjoon.  It was meant for him, Jeon Jungkook.  But knowing and seeing were two different things.  A hand lingering on Namjoon’s arm, or touching Namjoon on the chest.  Namjoon’s arm holding you protectively, his tall frame encroaching into your personal space.  The happiness that shone on your face that was for him, Jungkook, but nobody could know.

He couldn’t unsee it.  He couldn’t stop the jealous feelings clawing at the inside of his chest.  That acid burning in his stomach through the opening ceremony continued to simmer for another two hours. Two long, mind-numbing hours.  Filled with paperwork and reports as he didn’t have patients scheduled that afternoon.  Two angst filled hours till you finished your shift and could take a break.  Two hours of clenching and unclenching his jaw as he felt his need for you building up.  Felt the need to make you his on the most primal level.

That was why he now had you pinned against the wall of a forgotten supply closet in a less crowded wing of the hospital.  Both your hands pinned above your head with his right hand.  Your scrub pants down around one ankle, your other leg bare and hooked around his bare hip. His pants pushed down around his thighs.  Your top pushed up around your shoulders. The cups of your bra wrested down, your breasts exposed, bouncing with each powerful thrust of his hips against yours.  His left hand squeezing your right breast, thumb rubbing your hard nipple.

He took you roughly, raw. His kissed you hard, swallowing your moans.  His left hand pinched your nipple one last time, then moved down to press unerringly on your clit in just the right way to push you over the edge.  The way you gasped his name, your warm walls squeezing his cock had him cumming too.  You both froze when someone jiggled the door handle, trying to open the door.  You pressed your foreheads together and laughed softly when the jiggling stopped, the thrill of almost being discovered making you a little giddy.  After righting your clothes, Jungkook kissed you passionately before slipping out of the room.  He didn’t look back, knowing that you’d wait a few minutes before slipping out and making your way in the opposite direction surreptitiously.

This had been going on for months.  Stolen moments in forgotten supply closets.  Heated glances in break rooms. You getting eaten out in the bathroom of a posh nightclub.  A secret weekend at log cabins in the mountains away from civilization.  Glamping and rock climbing in the national forest three hours’ drive away.   Almost getting caught with your lips around Jungkook’s cock as you hid under his huge desk at home, Call of Duty running on his big-ass multiple screens. Jungkook almost having a heart attack when his brother had come home unexpectedly and was surprised to find Jungkook at home playing video games.

That would have been the most paradoxical, seeing as Jungkook was a Cardiac Surgeon.  Being doctors, that’s how you’d finally met again. He’d spent most of his teenage years studying abroad.  He’d then worked overseas for a few years and had recently returned home for good.   He’d seen you from afar on his first day at the Hospital eight months ago, during one of those management meetings.  He sort of recognised you. The same big doe eyes. But you were no longer that little eight-year-old girl with the serious expression.

You were beautiful.  You moved with confidence. Okay, you had a sharp edge about you, but something about you drew his eye.  That weekend the families had gotten together for a big dinner to welcome him home.  This time he got to see you up close.  He watched mesmerized as your icy exterior melted away.  Your face lit up as you laughed.  He couldn’t take his eyes off you.  Jimin and Daeun dropped a bombshell and announced they were getting engaged.  The entire room literally exploded with excitement.  Jungkook watched you smile fondly at the happy couple.  He was the only one who caught your wistful, slightly sad expression, which you quickly masked behind a huge smile as his Mum teasingly asked Ara when was her turn. Ara had been dating Taehyung, Namjoon’s cousin, for two years. 

When he finally got to talk to you, he felt a strange energy thrumming between you. It’d felt like gravitational a pull, slowly pulling him towards you all evening, and now you were here. He looked into your big brown eyes and felt like he was drowning.  You smiled politely at him, about to ask him how he was adapting to moving back home after so many years abroad but he beat you to it.  He touched you lightly on the arm. “Are you okay?”

Your eyes widened.  Your eyes searched his in confusion.  His eyes flickered towards the crowd around Jimin and Daeun, then flickered back to you.  He watched the emotions churning in your eyes.  Alarm. Guilt. Sadness. Resignation. You blinked, and the spell was broken.  Your mask slipped back into place and you smiled, nodding at him. You then sprung your question about how he was settling in and the conversation moved to safer waters.

But you’d gone out to the outdoor patio to get some air and he had followed you.  His feet moving before he realized what he was doing.  There was something about his earnesty and sincerity that told you it was safe to lower your guard. Jungkook had never felt this strong an attraction to anyone.  How right it all felt, even when just talking to you.

'Cause your lips were made for mine And my heart would go flatline If it wasn't beatin' for you all the time

That talk led to more talks.  Via text. Then via late night phone calls.  You felt like he really saw you.  The real you.  You talked about things you didn’t even share with Ara and Daeun. That feeling of loneliness sometimes even when surrounded by loved ones. Being happy for your friends, but wondering if there was someone for you. He talked about missing out from being away, but also missing the place he’d called home for more than ten years.  Never quite feeling truly at home, or wanting to put down roots.

Calls became chats over coffee. Then dinner.  Then movies. Game nights. Morning Runs. Rock climbing. You shared many interests.  Ara and Daeun noticed.  They confronted you.  You confessed, and said you were going to tell your parents soon.

But the universe had other ideas.  The Kims and your family had always talked about uniting your families.  Jimin had stolen Daeun already. Your older brother Chaewoo was still working in Paris, with no plans on coming home or settling down anytime soon.  Your younger sister Chaeyun had only just turned 20 and was still in med school.  So it fell on Namjoon to marry you.  Your parents were more open to the idea of you making your own choice, since all this marriage talk took place during the time of your grandparents, but Namjoon’s family was not.  More specifically, Namjoon’s grandmother insisted that Namjoon had to marry you.  Either that, or be cut out of the will. 

Namjoon came to you, desperate.  He didn’t want to marry you.  It wasn’t that he didn’t love you. He did. Just not in the marrying way.  Also, because he was already in love with someone else. 

“You are?” you’d asked incredulously. “Who is she? Why haven’t we heard anything about it?”

“Who is ‘HE’, you mean,” Namjoon had said nervously.

It was almost funny how you’d looked like an owl, your eyes open wide, blinking.

“He?”

“His name is Seokjin.  He’s a chef in New York.  His work has propelled the restaurant he runs to Two-Michelin-Star status.  He’s about to branch out on his own now.  He’s asked me to move there to stay with him. I was thinking of maybe applying for a position at their hospital after the new wing at our hospital was finished, and after we were done with that big case.” Namjoon started pacing.

“I’m doing okay. I don’t need my family’s money, so I don’t care if they cut me out of the will. But it’ll crush my grandma if I marry out of our circle, and worse, that I’m gay!  What am I going to do, Y/N? Why couldn’t Grandma have announced this just six months later?” Namjoon buried his face in his hands.

“Oh my god, Joon, this is huge,” you pulled Namjoon’s hands away from his face. “But you know we’ll all support you, right?  If you love Seokjin, we’ll all love him too.  Plus, we all kinda knew, you know,” you teased, elbowing him in the ribs.

“Knew what?”

“That you were batting for the other team,” you said cheekily.

Namjoon groaned and buried his face in his hands again as you laughed at him.

“I was going to just announce that I was moving to New York.  Let that sink in for a bit. Then later on start introducing Seokjin.  Maybe bring my parents and grandma to his restaurant, impress them with his cooking, you know?” Namjoon groaned, looking despondent.

So you two hatched a scheme.  For six months, you were going to pretend to be engaged to Namjoon.  Just to help tide him over till he was ready to move to New York to be with Seokjin. The whole gang was in on it.  You’d told them all that you were with Jungkook, and they’d welcomed him into your inner circle with open arms.

You told Jungkook about your crazy scheme to help Namjoon out. Namjoon begged Jungkook to let him ‘borrow’ you for six months.  Namjoon went as far as going onto his knees, prompting Jungkook to quickly pull Namjoon into a hug and back on his feet, both men’s eyes misty with unshed tears. Such softies they were!  Namjoon knew it was a big favor to ask for. But true love was worth it right? And that’s how he knew Jungkook loved you.  If Jungkook was willing to do this for you, to hide your relationship and let you pretend you were engaged to someone else, Jungkook was a keeper. 

Of course, Seokjin had to be in on it too.  There’d be photos of you and Namjoon in the press. So the whole gang jumped on a video call with him. He was a little startled initially to see such a huge group on the call. Namjoon smiled sheepishly at Seokjin as he made the introductions, but Seokjin was soon won over by how warm everyone was.   He could see how close the group was, and he was happy to finally put faces to the names he’d heard Namjoon mention many times.  He even jokingly called you his  “rival”, and declared that you and he were proof that Namjoon had good taste. 

Things worked out perfectly actually. Ara and Daeun would cover for you when you sneaked away for weekends with Jungkook.   They’d say you were spending time with Namjoon.  It was a win-win.  Nobody raised any eyebrows as to why the group was suddenly going camping so often.

--------------

So if I get jealous, I can't help it I want every bit of you, I guess I'm selfish

This was it. This was the last big event of your arrangement with Namjoon.  The Charity Dinner to celebrate the building of the new wing of the hospital. The dinner where the senior Dr Kim would be announcing his retirement.

Jungkook steeled himself for an unhappy evening.  Okay, who was he kidding, it was going to be a miserable evening.  You’d be dressed to the nines, working the room with Namjoon.  Everyone would be going with a plus-one, so he’d asked one of the nurses, Seoyoon, to be his date.  She’d agreed readily.  Dr Jeon Jungkook was one of the most sought-after eligible bachelors. So handsome. Outstanding cardiac surgeon. Sexy accent from spending years overseas. From such a rich family with long history. The single women threw themselves at him, but he hadn’t shown interest in anyone. Seoyoon had felt like she’d won the lottery.  She would be pulling all the stops to seduce him tonight.

Jungkook felt bad about leading her on but he told himself, it was just for the dinner. A couple of hours. His eyes never left you the whole evening. Jealousy burned just beneath the surface of his smile.  That little laugh of yours, that belonged to him.  The way you tucked your hair behind your ear as you listened to someone, that was something he’d do for you. That little tilt of your head when you didn’t quite believe something, made him laugh at you when he teased you.  Every little bit of you, belonged to him.  Fine, so that made him selfish.  He’d never admitted that, even to himself. But after more than seven months of sneaking around, he had to face facts. He had to be selfish. He was in love with you.

What he didn’t know was that you were burning with jealousy too.  You smiled for the cameras. But you watched Jungkook out of the corner of your eyes.  You saw Seoyoon’s hand linger on Jungkook’s arm.  How she brushed lint off the lapel of his jacket.  How she pressed a hand on his chest as she leaned in to talk to him. Even though Jungkook did not respond to her, his attention fixed on you, your eyes flashed.  Your stomach roiled.  Your fists clenched.  How dare she touch what was yours.  Every bit of him belong to you! 

Namjoon noticed.  He felt so bad.  He took your hand, rubbed his thumb over your knuckles, hoping to soothe you.  He was just glad the six months were almost up.  He loved you for doing this for him, for giving up being able to openly love Jungkook. He’d stolen more than seven months away from you.  The guilt he felt for lying to the families, for being so selfish was eating away at him.

Suddenly you squeezed his hand so hard he almost yelped in pain. He looked at you, but your eyes were trained on Jungkook.  Seoyoon was pressed up against Jungkook, her lips on his face, dangerously near his lips.  Jungkook look startled, his eyes wide open, looking at you in alarm.

That was it. Enough was enough. Namjoon made up his mind.  He walked up to the rostrum and took the mic.  Time to man up. He tapped on the mic, making conversations die down as everyone looked at him. He confessed that he wasn’t really engaged to you.  You, being such a good friend, had agreed to pretend, to help him. Why? Because he’d already given his heart to someone else. Someone his family wouldn’t approve of, so he was afraid to come clean.  But he couldn’t be selfish anymore. Not when those he loved were sacrificing so much for him.  By pretending to give him your heart, you couldn’t tell the world that you’d actually given it to someone who was more deserving. To Jungkook. 

The entire room collectively swiveled around to look at Jungkook.  Seoyoon looked at Jungkook in shock.  Jungkook stood up slowly, his eyes trained on you.  He walked slowly to the VIP table where you were sitting.  He offered you his hand.  You took it, rising to your feet slowly.  Then he tugged you forward, pressed you against him and kissed you, right in front of everyone. 

You froze. Then you heard clapping. It started on-stage. Namjoon.  Then beside you.  Your parents. Then your friends.  Slowly it spread. You heard hooting. Jimin shouted “Yeah, baby!”  Slowly you melted against Jungkook, your lips moving together, like they were made for his. The rest of the room faded away. Then he pressed his forehead against yours. 

Makin' me insane, you cannot be explained, ooh You must be an angel

“You with me?” he asked you simply.

You nodded.

Jungkook held your hand and walked closer to the stage.  He looked up at Namjoon who was still standing on-stage and held out his hand for the mic.

“So,….  Hi,”  Jungkook grinned.  The audience chuckled.  Your group whooped.

“As you know, I just moved back home.  I often wondered if I’d made the right decision. But then I met this angel,” he wriggled your joined hands.  “And I knew, she was it for me.”

Jungkook went down on one knee.  Gasps rippled around the room.  Your eyes were open as wide as saucers as you stared down at him.

“Lee Y/N,” he said, face solemn. “Will you be my girlfriend?  For real?” his grinned mischeviously.

You put your hand on your chest and closed your eyes, breathing out heavily. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“You almost gave me a heart attack,” you hissed in a low voice.

“Well,” he whispered back in an equally low voice, “it’s a good thing I’m a cardiac surgeon then, right?” he waggled his eyebrows at you.

You couldn’t help it.  You laughed and tugged at his hand to make him stand up.  You took hold of the mic.

“Fine,” you said. “But only because you have such cute dimples,” you teased.  Everyone in the ballroom laughed.

Jungkook  tossed the mic back to Namjoon and led you out of the ballroom.

“Where are you going?” Jimin shouted at you both.

“Going out on our first official date!” Jungkook shouted back, grinning from ear to ear.

---------------

Eight Months Later

Owner of my heart, tattooed your mark There for the whole world to see

Something was brushing against your ribs.  It was a little ticklish.  You also felt warm lips ghosting along your collarbone.

“Hmmmm”

“Good morning, beautiful,” Jungkook murmured against your skin, voice gravelly with sleep.  He lay beside you, fingers brushing against the tattoo you’d just gotten on your left ribs just before your honeymoon.  It was a heart, drawn to look like it was an embroidered patch. 

Jungkook had gotten a tattoo as well.  A pair of white angel’s wings, also on his ribs.  The tattoo artist had asked for the stories behind your tattoos.  Yours was a no brainer.  A heart tattoo, over your heart since your husband was a Cardiac Surgeon.  His, a pair of angel’s wings over his heart, because his wife was an angel. Cheesy? Yes. Romantic? Also yes. 

A slightly older woman had already tried hitting on Jungkook the day before, sidling up to him and asking him about his tattoo. You were both down at the beach bar of the resort you were holidaying at.  He smiled warmly at her, pointed to you and said “My wife’s an angel.  Isn’t she beautiful? We’re here on our honeymoon,” he said innocently.  The lady mumbled something like “Oh, that’s nice” and beat a hasty retreat.  Jungkook and you burst out laughing.

-------- “What’s for breakfast?” you asked sleepily, eyes still closed as Jungkook kissed your neck.

“You,” he said darkly, moving on top of you, his weight pressing you into the bed. 

You were still sore from last night, when you’d ridden him hard to show him how angels rode handsome devils who got hit on by older women. He in turn had said sex was good for heart health as it was generally considered a moderate form of exercise so you really ought to go fast and hard, many times. You’d cheekily asked him how many girls he’d used that line on and if it really worked.  He’d stuttered, wracking his brain for an answer, but his brain short-circuited and he forgot all about your question when your lips closed around his cock.

Bearing in mind that you’d be sore, he was gentle. He slotted his lips on yours, tongue stroking yours possessively.  He pressed kisses to your face, jaw, ears nibbling as he went.  Your giggles turned into moans as his lips moved to your neck.  He sucked on the skin, biting, leaving his marks on your skin. His lips traced the swell of your breast, tongue curling around your hardened nipple as you gasped, back arching off the bed.  You gripped his silky hair when he closed his lips around your nipple and sucked.  He kissed a trail over to your other breast,  using his teeth this time, pushing the boundary between pleasure and pain.

He shifted down, his lips drifting over your stomach, your abdomen, your smooth mound.  His big hands gripped your thighs, pushing them open.  “So pretty,” he murmured, “so wet for me.”  He leaned down, placed the flat of his tongue against you and licked a stripe up your slit.  You whined, still sensitive from last night.

“I know, Baby, just let me make you feel good,” he said, going back to gently dipping his tongue into your hole and giving your clit kitten clicks.  He focused on your clit then as he slid two, long fingers into your warm heat, stroking your warm walls.  Faster, harder. He pushed you over the edge by scraping his teeth on your clit.

You’d missed breakfast, and it was time for brunch after you’d made Jungkook come with your lips and tongue, and ridden him one more time.  You made your way to the restaurant, bumping into the older woman, sending you both into fits of giggles. Jungkook kissed the top of your head, pulling you into his side, his arm around your waist. It felt good. It felt right. --------------- Previous (#4)

Parts of plot inspired by: Be Mine, Princess by Azurefangirl

[canarysage]

PSDs For Dummies <3

— as written by a dummy

hello dear readers and welcome back to canarysage, the world’s least comprehensive tutorial blog. today, we’re back at it again with photopea for dummies, and we’re tackling something i probably should have done first: psds.

example psds are: 1 (@cutesiplushi) 2 (@didlivio) & 3 (@lumieron)

what is a psd?

excellent question, dear reader! psd stands for photoshop document, and it’s a type of file format (like .png or .gif) that allows you to store a project’s individual layers! it’s a file format that, for obvious reasons, is exclusive to photoshop and photopea.

in editing circles, psd has become shorthand for filter. people use psds to save configurations of adjustment layers that are then used to filter images consistently, without having to remake them every time. when someone posts a psd, they’re posting a folder (hopefully it’s in a folder) with their specific set of adjustment layers for anyone to use!

where can i get psds?

right here on tumblr! check your favorite edit blogs, as they may have posted some, or search ‘free psd’ or ‘psd coloring’ in the search function. tumblr doesn’t allow you to upload psds directly, so you’ll be redirected to a site outside tumblr. probably either deviantart, google drive, or ko-fi, all of which are easy to use. deviantart requires you to have an account to download anything (luckily, an account is free!) and ko-fi may require you to pay money. google drive doesn’t have a search function in and of itself, but it’s extremely easy to download off of.

also, shameless self plug, but i post psds right here on canarysage! i personally use deviantart, but again, an account is free. if send me an ask, i may be able to provide you with a google drive link, if you ask really nicely (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

and of course if you don’t want to use someone else’s psd, you can always make your own.

how do i use a psd?

once you have a psd of your choice downloaded, open up photopea! or photoshop, if you’re rich like that.

once you open photopea, click this here button right in the middle of the screen, the one that says “open from computer”

from there, go to choose files and open up your psd! depending on from whom you got it, psds will look different once you open them. i’m using one of my own as an example.

you can see there’s two layers in my psd, a folder, and an image. the image is just for me so i know which psd this is once i save it—i like to save all my psds with images of real people so i know how it looks on moodboards or stimboards.

the folder is the important part here, that’s where the adjustment layers are contained. to transfer a psd, you can either go to file > new

which lets you start an entirely new project, or you can open an image using file > open

which will give you the image you selected.

as an aside, if you’re opening a psd and you already have a project in progress, make sure to click file > open and not file > open & place, as open & place won’t give you the adjustment layers.

then to move the folder, go to layer > duplicate layer into while having selected the folder (just tap on it, that will make it a lighter gray to show it’s selected) and duplicate the folder into whatever your image is

i’m moving mine to a random image of honami i found which is why it’s named like that. once the folder’s duplicated into your project, go over and take a look!

you should now see something like this! ensure that the folder is on top, as otherwise the adjustment layers won’t work.

here’s the difference between the unfiltered image and the image with my psd!

to save images in photopea (like i did just now) go to file > export as > (your preferred file format)

which will pull up something like this

i recommend either saving as a png (for still images) or as a gif (for… gifs) but that’s up to you! in order to save a psd, go to file > save as psd! that will save your project to your device

bear in mind that tumblr doesn’t accept psds as a file format, so if you’re going to post an edit, you have to save it as something else. also, don’t just save other people’s psds and claim them as your own—psds take a lot of time, effort, and skill, like any other art form.

can i make my own psds?

100% yes! i can’t give you a step-by-step process unfortunately, as there really is no one way to make psds. i recommend familiarizing yourself with adjustment layer and seeing what works.

shameless self plug again, but you can check out my other posts in this series to find out about some of the adjustment layers!

basically, i like to think of adjustment layers as a few different categories. light/darkness adjustments (ie: brightness/contrast, levels, curves, exposure, black & white, and threshold to a certain extent.) saturation adjustments (vibrance, hue/saturation.) color adjustments (hue/saturation, color balance, photo filter, channel mixer, selective color, gradient map depending on how you use it, and replace color.) and also, miscellaneous (posterize, which gives your images a pop-art crunchy kind of effect, invert, which… inverts your colors, and color lookup, which is a set of filters unto itself)

how you utilize adjustment layers is up to you! i personally like to use a variety and see what happens, my personal favorites being channel mixer, photo filter, and hue/saturation. you can also utilize blending modes (shameless self plug again,) or opacity.

if you have no idea where to start, you can look at other people’s psds to see their process. don’t copy or steal, for obvious reasons, but you can toggle layers on and off and see what happens and what each layer does.

making psds isn’t as intimidating as it sounds, you just have to start a project and start creating! it gets really fun once you get the hang of it (*'▽'*)

i don’t edit with photoshop or photopea, can i still use psds?

short answer: nope!

long answer: if you want use psds but you’re super used to ibis paint or whatever you currently use, have no fear! you don’t have to switch all your editing to photopea. you can make your main project in ibis or whatever as normal, then upload it to photopea and add a psd.

you can also make perfectly fine filters in ibis paint in your own right, with enough tweaking. there’s also apps such as polarr and picsart which come with filters, but i’ve never used them so i’m unable to vouch for how they work.

do i need to use psds when editing?

nope! psds are 100% optional. they’re a style like anything else—some people prefer them and some people don’t. it’s up to you.

did you genuinely write 1178 words answering questions no one asked?

yep.

what if i have a question you didn’t answer?

feel free to shoot me an ask! i don’t mind explaining further, and i promise i don’t bite. as with anything, this is just meant to explain to anyone who needs assistance—photopea for dummies by a dummy, after all. we can be confused together!

are you done now?

i am! congratulations for reading this far!

yours truly, canarysage

[mochazai]

𝙋𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝘽𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘼𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙙 : 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

Summary: Dark thoughts are easy to get lost in but Peter is here to help

Pairing: Peter Parker x Gender Neutral! Reader

A/N: welpp I’m in my feels again you guys… This one’s a bit shorter than usual, sorry about that</3 I hope y’all still enjoy this one too <3

Masterlist [menu]

Peter’s no stranger to overthinking and it’s side effects. Before he had you, ned, and michelle, he didnt do too well in the ‘making friends’ part of school and as a result, he learned how to pick himself up and/or cope with it through other ways. But now when he sees you going through the struggles he had to endure alone, he’s determined to make sure you don’t suffer alone.

He always manages to sense right when you’re slipping away into a detrimental downward spiral and pulls you back. Sometimes it’s during class and be can’t really talk you through it, so he holds your hand and gives you two gentle squeezes to ground you and bring you back to some sense of equilibrium.

If it’s worse than the usual he stops paying attention to the lesson (it’s fine, he can figure it out on his own anyway!) to talk you through it, whispering reassuring phrases he knows you’ll appreciate. He does this only because he knows you go silent during these phases and that means that of the teacher reprimands him, its only him who’ll get sent out, not you. This boy would never get you in trouble, ever.

Every night before you both go to bed, he stays on call with you and reassures you over and over again. You both have school the next day and he’s tired from web-slinging around the city doing vigilante things, but he’d stay awake all night if meant you’d get to go to bed with a lighter head.

When you get scared that he’ll find you annoying and just leave, he tells you that he’d never do that. He won’t throw you away. He’ll stay, he’ll communicate and he’ll always reassure you. He’s with you till the end, no takesy backseys!

Sometimes he fumbles. Whether it be reading you wrong or saying the wrong thing to try and comfort you, but he always apologizes and learns from his mistakes. Your brain may tell you that communicating how you felt is childish and selfish and that you’re just being dramatic, but he always reassures you that you aren’t and he’s glad you tell him how he messed up so he learns. And trust me, he never messes up the same way twice.

He often feels powerless because even though he knows listening to you helps more than he’d give himself credit for, he just wishes he could reach into your brain and talk some sense into it, but he can’t so he’ll try his best to help you through other ways.

He writes you letters detailing how he loves you, why he loves you and why you’re the one and only one for him. He knows that they mean a lot to you and that they help ground you when he isn’t around. He stays up at night before big ‘trips’ writing you affirmation letters to keep you company for when he has to go off the grid.

Sometimes when you need space to breathe and a hug to ground you, he’ll whisk you away to the top of your apartment building to relax in the cool night air while watching the city below. It sounds more stressful than comforting at first, but it becomes your special thing together. Late night vent sessions which end in you fast asleep and him returning you to your bed without your parents finding out.

But while Peter reassures you at every turn, while he pledges to grant you security via affirmations as much as he humanly can, he knows that your reliance on his words, opinion and praise isn’t healthy in the long run. He knows that you need to become reliant on your own internal positive self talk… he also knows that’s isn’t easy.

He still tries nonetheless. He googles how to help you develop more positive thought patterns, how to deal with your sudden spirals. He tries his damndest. He even asks Tony to make you your own AI assistant that could help you better than he could.

If none of these work, he doesn’t get mad or frustrated or upset at you. He knows what it’s like, and it’s hard. It’s hard to unlearn self-hate and it’s even harder to learn positive self-talk. But while it may be a long and windy road ahead of you, Peter will be right by your side,holding your hand, catching you when you fall and reminding you you’re worth more than you could ever even fathom. He’ll stick beside you through these trying struggles and guide you through that dark tunnel. It’s possible, he knows it is, because he went through it too and when you come out the other end he’ll be just as proud of you as ever

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 @𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 ; 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲,𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here

[lastoneout]

I know you meant well, and I understand the sentiment. But addiction is legitimately an issue with ADHD meds, and it is very very possible to become addicted to Adderall or other stimulants even with ADHD. I do agree that it is too tightly regulated, but I do think regulation is important, at least until there are more social changes and social programs that provide enough of a safety net to help with addiction. Thanks for listening, and I hope you're doing well ❤️

I appreciate it, but out of curiosity do you have a source? I've been researching this as best I can and I have not found anything backing up the claim that people with ADHD are at risk for addiction to their ADHD mediation. Lots of stuff saying people with ADHD are more prone to other kinds of substance abuse, especially when under-medicated or just not medicated at all, as well as lots of people with ADHD saying they used to have substance abuse problems before they knew they had ADHD and stimulant medication is what helped them recover. There are also loads of studies showing that being medicated from a young age actually drastically reduces your risk of developing a substance abuse disorder later in life.

When it comes to abusing stimulant medications it seems like the main issue there is people taking more than they were prescribed or taking it incorrectly, which is a problem obviously but is true of most prescription meds? I have been taking my methocarbomol wrong for like a month beause I misread the bottle, and I have to have a lot of pill organizers for my meds because my ADHD makes me forget I've taken them and if I forget I will take too much, but tbh at that point I'd figure they just need a higher dose and aren't getting it or need to pay more attention to the labels on the bottle, but I'd love to hear from those people and learn what their motivation was and what happened.

Looking at all my sources the general consensus continues to be that people with ADHD are at a such a low risk of becoming addicted to their stimulant medication it's barely worth talking about. To contrast that, the only sources I've found that do insist you can get addicted are private, for-profit addiction help centers(and randos on Quora) and I'm sorry, they have a very high incentive to convince people they have addiction issues and are very prone to lying(one page I found claims that a sign you're addicted to your ADHD meds is "not feeling alert when you don't take them" as if that's not just...what ADHD is?? and another says trying to refill them early is a sign of abuse when in reality not being able to refill them before you're completely out means we go days or even weeks without the medication due to pharmacies being slow or not having it on hand, it's not a sign of addiction to not want to have to go off the meds that make it possible for you to live your life), so I do not trust them as reliable sources. Not even kidding, no matter how I word it, when I search on google or duck duck go if a person with ADHD can become addicted to their own medication the only thing that comes up is for-profit addiction help centers and every page is full of blatant misinformation about ADHD that would take like two seconds to fix if they actually cared about anything other than making money.

On top of that, a lot of pages talking about this seem to be confusing needing a medication to treat your serious medical condition with being addicted to it. If you claim that someone with ADHD is addicted to their meds because without them they have trouble sleeping, can't focus at work/school, and that stopping cold turkey makes them feel awful then you just. You don't understand how ADHD works or what an addiction is. People with ADHD don't crash when they lose access to their meds because they were addicted, they crash because they have a serious medical condition that requires treatment and the treatment has stopped. Same shit if I was denied my inhaler while having an asthma attack to like prove I'm faking(which also does happen and gets children killed). Not sleeping, doing poorly in school or at work, being late all the time, not eating, feeling confused and tired? Those are symptoms of ADHD, not signs of addiction, and medication helps because you need it, not because it gets you high.

Also, according to a doctor who writes for ADDitude magazine(which tbh isn't perfect, but nothing is) says there have also haven't really been any studies on long-term stimulant use in people with ADHD aside from ones on being at a higher risk of addiction to other substances in folks with untreated ADHD, which doesn't mean there isn't some issue we don't know about for ADHDers specifically, but when looking at people who take stimulants for narcolepsy it seems like there are absolutely no long term negative health effects of taking a stimulant mediation THAT YOU NEED. Obviously if you don't need it you can get addicted and it can hurt you and if you have like...idk an allergy to it or a heart condition or the meds just aren't helping/are making things worse we should look at other options, but if you need a stimulant medication and don't have a medical condition that can be worsened by them, then it's completely safe and the risk of addiction to the medication itself is so small it's not even worth talking about or bringing up. Like everything coming up on this subject is talking about people with ADHD being prone to addiction to other things like opioids or alcohol, not their medication, and when they start the medication it helps them stop abusing other substances because they don't need them anymore, and all of the resources I can find on adderall addiction are aimed at helping people who do NOT have ADHD who are abusing the drug to get high or lose weight or do better in school.

I've also seen TONS of anecdotal stories from people with ADHD saying they wouldn't try to get high on adderall or any other stimulant medication because it doesn't get you high. Instead it makes you feel like complete shit and it's a waste of the already hard to access and very expensive meds we need to function, so there's no point in even trying to abuse them. And that's a history I share, when I started adderall they put me on WAY too high a dose and I just felt...eugh all the time. Too high a dose(or drinking too much coffee) gives me very bad brain fog and exhaustion and I disassociate and altogether just makes me feel like garbage, but when I got on the correct, lower dose all of that went away. I can't imagine trying to get high on them, I've been high on other things before(weed, opioids, benzos, benadryl) and that is NEVER what it feels like and it's not fun or relaxing or enjoyable, it just sucks. (Or well, the benadryl high also sucks, but still feels way more like a "high" than taking too high a dose of adderall and I could see someone doing it on purpose for fun, I cannot possibly fathom someone with ADHD enjoying taking too high a dose, the experience has no redeeming qualities.)

Anyway, I do appreciate you being nicer than the last person, and I'm going to keep doing my own research, but so far there is quite literally ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I can find anywhere I've looked that suggests that getting addicted to stimulant medications when you have ADHD is common or even remotely likely to happen and is certainly not something anyone with ADHD needs to worry about. Still, I would love to see the sources you or anyone else have on the topic, because from where I'm standing this seems to be something that the average person or doctor doesn't need to be worrying about at all and the scaremongering just leads to people with ADHD suffering for no reason at all and being terrified of seeking help that would dramatically improve their lives with very little actual risk.

Edit: Also, yeah we should have better health resources for people who do become addicted to substances, but waiting to loosen the regulations around adderall based on unfounded claims that the people who need it are at risk of becoming addicted to it is getting people with ADHD killed ALL THE TIME because of how our conditions puts us at monumentally higher risk of injury, accidental death, and addictions to substances that actually harm us. I said it before and I will keep saying it, I would rather 1000 people get high on adderall than ever have a single person who truly needs it go without. We are being killed by this logic, our lives are proven less valuable than the lives of people who don't have ADHD and I will never support that. Decriminalize all drugs I am not and have never in my entire life been joking about that. When denied meds we need people turn to unsafe drugs and alcohol and then we die. Giving people who need medical help medical help is what prevents drug OD deaths. Everyone I know who has turned to street drugs did so because doctors refused to help them, I use marijuana to treat my insomnia because my doctors refused to give me sleeping meds due to the belief ambien is worse for me than never sleeping, and tons of people with ADHD suffer of addiction to dangerous and risky drugs from unregulated sources and they all say adderall is what fixed it. Denying us adderall is infinitly worse than just fucking giving it to us and not acting like a fucking Protestant obsessed with suffering to prove our virtue or whatever.

There is no argument for denying people the meds they need that isn't rooted in racism(the war on drugs, misconceptions about non-white bodies), misogyny(self-explanatory), transphobia(self-explanatory), and ableism(again, self-explanatory). Why should we, the people who are having our lives ruined all to protect abled people, have to sit down, shut up, and get treated like criminals to get the treatment we need, if we are granted it at all? Who on earth does punishing us like that help??

People with ADHD should not be collateral damage in the push to protect poor, precious abled people from maybe possibly getting addicted to adderall. That's wrong and it always will be.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

An Epic antitrust loss for Google

A jury just found Google guilty on all counts of antitrust violations stemming from its dispute with Epic, maker of Fortnite, which brought a variety of claims related to how Google runs its app marketplace. This is huge:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/11/technology/epic-games-google-antitrust-ruling.html

The mobile app store world is a duopoly run by Google and Apple. Both use a variety of tactics to prevent their customers from installing third party app stores, which funnels all app makers into their own app stores. Those app stores cream an eye-popping 30% off every purchase made in an app.

This is a shocking amount to charge for payment processing. The payments sector is incredibly monopolized and notorious for its price-gouging – and its standard (wildly inflated) rate is 2-5%:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/04/owning-the-libs/#swiper-no-swiping

Now, in theory, Epic doesn't have to sell in Google Play, the official Android app store. Unlike Apple's iOS, Android permit both sideloading (installing an app directly without using an app store) and configuring your device to use a different app store. In practice, Google uses a variety of anticompetitive tricks to prevent these app stores from springing up and to dissuade Android users from sideloading. Proving that Google's actions – like paying Activision $360m as part of "Project Hug" (no, really!) – were intended to prevent new app storesfrom springing up was a big lift for Epic. But they managed it, in large part thanks to Google's own internal communications, wherein executives admitted that this was exactly why Project Hug existed. This is part of a pattern with Big Tech antitrust: many of the charges are theoretically very hard to make stick, but because the companies put their evil plans in writing (think of the fraudulent crypto exchange FTX, whose top execs all conferred in a groupchat called "Wirefraud"), Big Tech keeps losing in court:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

Now, I do like to dunk on Big Tech for this kind of thing, because it's objectively funny and because the companies make so many unforced errors. But in an important sense, this kind of written record is impossible to avoid. Any large institution can only make and enact policy through administrative systems, and those systems leave behind a paper-trail: memos, meeting minutes, etc. Yes, we all know that quote from The Wire: "Is you taking notes on a fucking criminal conspiracy?" But inevitably, any ambitious conspiracy can only exist if someone is taking notes.

What's more, any large conspiracy involving lots of parties will inevitably produce leaks. Think of this as the corollary to the idea that the moon landing can't be a hoax, because there's no way 400,000 co-conspirators could keep the secret. Big Tech's conspiracies required hundreds or even thousands of collaborators to keep their mouths shut, and eventually someone blabs:

https://www.science.org/content/article/fake-moon-landing-you-d-need-400000-conspirators

This is part of a wave of antitrust cases being brought against the tech giants. As Matt Stoller writes, the guilty-on-all-counts jury verdict will leak into current and future actions. Remember, Google spent much of this year in court fighting the DoJ, who argued that the company bribed Apple not to make a competing search engine, paying tens of billions every year to keep a competitor from emerging. Now that a jury has convinced Google of doing that to prevent alternative app stores from emerging, claims that it used these pay-for-delay tactics in other sectros get a lot more credible:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/boom-google-loses-antitrust-case

On that note: what about Apple? Epic brought a very similar case against Apple and lost. Both Apple and Epic are appealing that case to the Supreme Court, and now that Google has been convicted in a similar case, it might prompt the Supremes to weigh in and resolve the seeming inconsistencies in the interpretation of federal law.

This is a key moment in the long project to wrest antitrust away from the pro-monopoly side, who spent decades "training" judges to produce verdicts that run counter to the plain language of America's antitrust law:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/13/post-bork-era/#manne-down

There's 40 years' worth of bad precedent to overturn. The good news is that we've got the law on our side. Literally, the wording of the laws and the records of the Congressional debate leading to their passage, all militate towards the (incredibly obvious) conclusion that the purpose of anti-monopoly law is to fight monopoly, not defend it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

It's amazing to realize that we got into this monopoly quagmire because judges just literally refused to enforce the law. That's what makes one part of the jury verdict against Google so exciting: the jury found that Google's insistence that Play Store sellers use its payment processor was an act of illegal tying. Today, "tying" is an obscure legal theory, but few doctrines would be more useful in disenshittifying the internet. A company is guilty of illegal tying when it forces you to use unrelated products or services as a condition of using the product you actually want. The abandonment of tying led to a host of horribles, from printer companies forcing you to buy ink at $10,000/gallon to Livenation forcing venues to sell tickets through its Ticketmaster subsidiary.

The next phase of this comes when the judge decides on the penalty. Epic doesn't want cash damages – it wants the judge to order Google to fulfill its promise of "an open, competitive Android ecosystem for all users and industry participants." They've asked the judge to order Google to facilitate third-party app stores, and to separate app stores from payment processors. As Stoller puts it, they want to "crush Google’s control over Android":

https://www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/news/epic-v-google-trial-verdict-a-win-for-all-developers

Google has sworn to appeal, surprising no one. The Times's expert says that they will have a tough time winning, given how clear the verdict was. Whatever this means for Google and Android, it means a lot for a future free from monopolies.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/12/im-feeling-lucky/#hugger-mugger

[purplekissinger]

Eye of the beholder

He looked back on his life, not with shame but with a kind of disgust at its dreariness. - 'That hideous strength', C. S. Lewis.

BEFORE YOU READ THIS i really think i have to explain myself. i’ve wrote a ‘Robert Daly x reader’ piece back in 2024 (and never posted this) and my first and only motivation was to escape the cosmic horror of knowing that someone was trapped in their mind FOREVER. Robert Daly is not a good man nor a nice guy, he’s a villain and no one should defend him, and yet his fate was truly horrible and i just felt the urge to write something on that. Knowing what happend to him in the sequel i kinda want to share this text now. Please pay attention that the relationship is shown as toxic (because ehhh that is the way he is) - with a bleak hope in the end. Please forgive me for anything that could make you feel uncomfortable.

When you moved in with Robert Daly, he cleared out a few shelves for you with a frantic urgency he didn't expect from himself. The collector's construction set, the Commander Carpenter action figure, and the three mugs with views of the Brachian wastes were now resting in a box. In their place went your shampoos, a stack of T-shirts, and a box of books. Robert felt that these were perhaps the most precious items in his collection.

Your phone is full of tracking apps that send him a detailed report every day at 18 p.m. Location, messages, photos, browser search history. Robert spared no effort to carefully review all these documents every night and then save them in a secret folder (you went to bed earlier anyway). Are there suspiciously warm messages from colleagues? Are you googling something like "my boyfriend is too controlling"? 

Robert felt almost no guilt when he installed bugs on your phone, except maybe a little. Do you really feel guilty when you install an anti-theft system on your car? Especially if it is an expensive car that is beyond your means.

You were, indeed, beyond his means. Not financially, though.  Robert felt more or less secure when it came to money. His salary was enough for him to make you move into his apartment pretty quickly and let you work from home more often (so that Walton wouldn't chatter with you too much). You were, by any measure, out of his league. Too pretty, too sweet, and just too affectionate with him for it to be true. There were those crazy moments when he was overcome with a suffocating fear: what if this was just another simulation? What if he was now actually half-asleep in a chair, watching scenes of a happy life with the living dream?

Robert glanced sideways at the bed where you were snoring peacefully. In the flickering light of the monitor he could only see the top of your head. Without taking his eyes off you, Robert whispered:

‘Exit game’. 

You sighed softly. Robert stared at you intensely for another three or four minutes, then turned back to the computer.

Geotracking. No surprises here, after work you made a quick stop at the coffee shop near the house. You bought an ice cream and a cup of coffee (receipt attached), and then went straight home. Robert felt a growing warmth somewhere in his heart. It's for your safety, after all. He imagined you sitting in this cafe, carefully picking an ice cream with a spoon. He wonders sometimes how does he even manage to hide his madness.

Oh, and here's a photo of the ice cream. You sent it to a friend. Open chat logs.

Diana: Ooooh, that looks tasty! :heart emoji:

Y/N:  trust me it is :3

Diana: are you at Gingers rn?

Y/N: yeah. You wont believe me what theyve done with the place lol

You discuss different ice cream flavors for a couple more pages. Robert read it all carefully. The ease with which you ​​talked to people always fascinated him.

You watched a couple of episodes of Futurama on the phone when you got home. Then you googled ‘lasagna recipes’ and ordered the necessary ingredients. They say that you get used to good things quickly, but Robert still couldn’t get used to the smell of a delicious dinner cooked by loving hands that was now waiting for him every night. Then you put on some music, and maybe danced a little (Robert briefly thought that he should check the cameras). Then there was a text message from Nanette.

Robert pursed his lips. He often racked his brains over how to cut Nanette out of your life, but so far he hadn’t come up with anything. Meanwhile you two had become good friends. Nannette asked something about work, you answered her right away, then you agreed to meet on Friday evening (he would think about how to prevent this later).

Nannette: you were busy last Friday xd pleeeeeeease don’t sneak away from me this time!

Y/N: sorry x) Rob and I had a Space fleet marathon, we watched like 10 episodes or something

Nanette: whoa

Nanette: :skull emoji: :skull emoji: :skull emoji:

Nanette: u ok lmao?).

Go to hell, Robert thought darkly. You like it, he knows for sure. That day you two ordered pizza and cuddled until late at night, staring at the screen. He sometimes paused the show and explained the references, and you listened intently. It was the best damn evening in six months. Better than being a captain.

Y/N: well, it's actually pretty cool x) such a cute vintage. It's a cult classic, half the tropes in modern sci-fi owe the debt. Plus the jokes are really funny)

 Thank God, he thought with relief.

Nanette: listen, I’ve been meaning to ask, how are you two doing? I know you just moved in with him

Nanette: don’t get me wrong, I’m not prying into your personal life. I’m just curious 

Y/N: oh, everythings great) Ive been seeing Rob more often, he works an awful lot. Hes  different at home, by the way)

Nannette: wow, what’s he like?) surprise me

Y/N: very cute :heart emoji: like a huge teddy bear. I could hug him all day long lol

Robert felt like he was having trouble breathing. He blinked twice. The screen in front of his eyes was blurring. It took him a moment to realize that it was tears.

Y/N: Damn, Im actually a little offended that no one knows what Rob is really like) hes a real genius, no joke, and at the same time so humble and hardworking

Y/N: I love it when someone is really passionate about something. Such people usually have a lot of love in their hearts) Rob is very caring

Y/N: and very kind

Y/N: in short, I hit the jackpot xd

Y/N: his birthday is in two weeks tho :thinking emoji:  i was thinking of a surprise

Y/N: thought of an action figure xd 

Y/N: but now i have even better idea

And that is when Robert closed the chat window hurriedly, hitting the cross on the fourth try, and hid his face in his hands. He needed some cold water. He needed to do the breathing exercises that you had taught him. He needed to lie down. He needed to wake you up, to confess - though to what, he couldn't say.

For as long as he could remember, Robert Daly had been a man who, with astonishing persistence, saw only injustices towards himself and never noticed any problems of other people. Now, for the first time in his life, he felt something that could be described as noble and dignified. He saw now with devastating clarity that he did not deserve you. He was not a good man or a nice guy, never had been; he had always known that you were too good for him, but now he felt like a robber, no, worse, like a thief. 

So what if he did not pursue the clones who had broken free? So what if he returned digital copies of Walton and Tommy to the ship and gave them unlimited credits? Robert was doing it for himself, because he knew full well that he would go to jail for that sweet entertainment.

You will never know about the USS Callister. You will never know that six months ago you could have been trapped there. You will never know what you really saved him from when you raised the alarm in the work chat, unable to reach Robert. You sure as hell will never know what a monster he was and remains. 

You won't see him turn off the monitor and lie down carefully next to you on the bed. You won't see him staring at the ceiling until almost dawn and thinking about the long, long hours in the darkness of dead space. You won't hear him sobbing quietly as he remembers how this darkness was cut by the light of a hospital room as he saw your face.

Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. But could it be the kindness that Robert didn't feel in himself no matter how hard he tried? For the only thing he felt was an endless empty and cold space inside of him, deadly, hungry, ugly, unforgiving, and no other light except his guiding star, his wishing star. And as Robert hoped desperately that he will never lose sight of this star, he knew damn well that it would be better for the star to lose sight of him.

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Hunting for Clues-with-a-capital-C, a meta of Good Omens metas, and GO fun!

*I'm adding to this list as I find new and interesting Clues and theories!

*This post version is dated 19 Jul 2024; the current version is pinned to my profile.

* I maxed out Tumblr's link limit! Here's the Google doc with many of the Clues, links, discontinuities, and metas I've collected from all over the fandom. There's a new section at the top called "Discontinuities and Reports from the Ineffable Detective Agency"! (Inspired by this post from @kimberleyjean!)

Below, you'll find a list of my original posts, most of which are filled with fact-finding, Clue-hunting screenshots that will probably leave you with more questions than answers! Several of these posts are also presented in partnership with the Ineffable Detective Agency:

The Appearing Sign:

The Honolulu Roast sign appears in the middle of a scene?! AND the lamp moves?!

The Bentley:

How to tell the "three" Good Omens Bentleys apart, without talking about color

Ineffable discontinuity and the Bentley's roadtrip transformation: new back doors and other changes (after it was yellow)

The open Bentley window at the end of season 2

Clocks and Time:

The Ineffable Detective Agency Presents: The Main Bookshop Clock's Hands are BACKWARDS and Other Revelations!

The ineffable discontinuity of time in ALL of Good Omens season 2?

Crowley's watch doesn't always have hands

Good Omens season 2 ending and Crowley's (probable) Time Stop

Crowley's sideburns:

Crowley’s sideburns

Crowley's sideburns aren't even consistent in the promo photos.

Extras Behaving Strangely:

Hawaiian Shirt/Pub Table Guy

Marking the Columns

The Demon in an Orange Hoodie

Gabriel's Memory Returns:

The Ineffable Detective Agency presents: Gabriel's memory

Plus, hidden audio in the memory tunnels?

More Assorted Discontinuities:

Edinburgh and the Briefcase, presented by the Ineffable Detective Agency

The disappearing textiles storefront (and Maggie's second sign)

When does Mr Arnold's shop arrive? After season 1, except Neil says it was in the 1970s

Season 1: First Wombat in Space (also, Bentley bullet hole decals)

Set Furnishings:

The circular bookshop rug CHANGES?!

The Good Omens bookshop furniture changes between s1 and s2 (but NOT after Adam reboots reality!)

The s2 Bookshop / s1 Hospital Sink

Other Speculation and Questions:

On Neil's Tumblr asks, Staying Skeptical, and Gravity Falls

Finding hope for s3 and perspective for s2 in Neil's s1 podcast with David Tennant

The BTS parking ticket translation

The S2 Opening Title Sequence: analysis

The Ineffable Detective Agency presents: the origins of the white bust in the bookshop (a really lovely theory, you should read it!)

Parallels with Nightmare in Silver (Doctor Who written by Neil) - multiple Crowleys?

Has Aziraphale been meeting with Floating Head Metatron throughout s2?

Would even vulnerable, heartbroken Crowley try to protect Aziraphale at all costs? A possible hidden transfer in the kiss.

I have questions about Nina and ESPECIALLY about Maggie...

Don't pay the guy with the blue glasses, he doesn't work here!

If you enjoyed my research, stay tuned for future posts, and take a look at my Google doc for even more Clues and metas from all over the fandom!

Some closing bits of encouragement:

A: "You just said it was the only way to prevent something terrible happening!"

G: "Really? What?!"

A: "I don't know!"

G: "Well then, I expect it will be fine. Most things are fine in the end."

Neil: "Tell him that it will all be all right in the end, and that we are not yet at the end."

Plus, for fun:

Good Omens ✨Clues and Detectives✨:

Celebrating lots of milestones, including my 1500th follower! See all the posts here!

Good Omens Day of ✨Dance✨:

Learn all about my GO "Day of Dance" and get a link to all the fandom art I shared, here!

My Fanfiction:

From the GOMM holiday exchange: Cocoa and Fairy Lights, How to Fight Your Chemistry and Lose

GOMM 2024: Orbiting a Memory, featuring a gorgeous illustration of Saraqael by @altonthebard

Fan Fiction Friday: The Universe Might Answer: Broken Moonlight

From the GO Song & Poetry Exchange: The Ineffable Dance

GOMM reverse bang 2024: Silver Screen Solace, featuring a playful book omens theater drawing by @ufofrommarss

[i-love-your-light]

too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:

with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*

and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.

going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.

i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.

i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.

tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!

[sirfrogsworth]

I've now watched 3 YouTubers climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

This is a very high elevation mountain in Tanzania, Africa. It's basically for people who want the thrill seeking experience of Everest without the freezing cold and high risk of death.

Though more people die on Kilimanjaro than on Everest every year. But that is a statistical thing. 30,000 climbers and up to 10 deaths per year vs 600 climbers and 4 deaths per year.

Kilimanjaro is still a huge test of endurance and pushing yourself, but it's a lot safer and you can actually enjoy the experience rather than just be miserable the entire time. Nothing about climbing Everest is fun or enjoyable. It's literally just an exercise in saying you did it. Maybe you get to enjoy the views for a few moments here and there. But most of the time you are just trying not to die. And when you pass "rainbow valley" you are reminded of your possible death.

"Blue, Red, Orange, and Green colored jackets cover the dead bodies forever. Other than bodies, there are colorful garbage dumped, tents, cans, and oxygen tanks. From a distance, this area seems so colorful, like the rainbow; hence it is named the popular Rainbow Valley."

The thing that bothers me about these rich white folks doing this thrill seeking to the top of a mountain is that they don't do it alone. As they are fighting elevation sickness and trying to keep their lunch down, Tanzanian locals are carrying all of their shit up the mountain (while barely breaking a sweat). These porters carry 20kg/44lb packs up and down and get paid $10 per day. And, according to some redditor, tipping them $250 is "sufficient."

But these thrill seeking white people do not actually pay the porters their $10 per day salaries. That would actually be the company hired to arrange all of the trip logistics.

"Ah, so like a Tanzanian travel company books your flights and hires the porters and figures all of that out." you might be thinking.

Of course, that's not how it works.

For Smarter Every Day's trip up the mountain, he paid a company called "Killawarrior."

You pay them $7000.

They arrange everything.

And of that money, your porter gets $90.

The person making sure you get up the mountain alive and carrying all of your shit gets $90 for a 9 day trip on dangerous terrain.

And Gerry from Canada... gets a lot more.

And it's one of those things where... the inclination is to shame and boycott. "Don't go on these trips, the locals are paid nothing." But these are actually very good jobs for them. And they need this work.

It's just like the recent iPhone protest I saw. "Don't buy an iPhone. The battery is made from slave labor in the Congo." (All devices with Li-ion batteries are. And there are 2 billion more Android devices than iPhones. Would someone please start including Google in these protests?)

But if we all stopped buying stuff with batteries, the economy of Congo would collapse. As 9/10ths of their exports are minerals.

I saw a video where they followed a child around who was working on a cocoa farm. There was this 12 year old who would say he is 18, and they ask him how he felt about working on this farm. And he said, "I need this money for my family. My mother is sick and can't work, so I work."

It just seems like if we all stopped purchasing goods made from exploited labor, we'd be screwing a lot of poor and desperate folks. And if rich white folks stopped climbing mountains, those porters would have to settle for lower paying jobs.

So... what is the solution here?

It just seems like everyone is screwed no matter what.

Sorry for the cynical ending. I just got nothing positive or hopeful to say about this.

[thehappyspaceman]

On RFK Jr.'s BS (and its ties to a known hate group).

I don't usually write posts about stuff like this, but I gotta get this out of my system.

So I'm sure all of y'all by now have seen what Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has said about people with autism, as part of his anti-vax rhetoric of using "environmental factors" (vaccines) as a cause of autism. And in this, he talks about how kids' lives are ruined by autism with the following (CW: Ableism):

Now, there are many, many things wrong with this. The biggest part is that he's calling for autistic people to be institutionalized, which is... a choice. There's also the fact that he listed "paying taxes" and "holding a job" in front of the other elements of personal fulfillment, basically stating that contributing to the state is a higher priority than being able to fulfill one's own personal needs. Then there's the idea that people with autism will never do any of these things, which is... blatantly wrong, and it is incredibly, and understandably, tempting to focus on the fact that yes, there are plenty of autistic people who can hold a job, play baseball, write a poem, go out on a date, yadda yadda. We all know that. Literally two seconds of googling will debunk this. And ultimately there's little point in trying to argue with these people about these facts when they can just blatantly lie and get away with it.

But let's go back to that first one I listed, because the overall biggest issue is simply the fact that he wants autistic people in general to be institutionalized and states that they are lesser people.

This is not out of nowhere. In fact, I immediately recognized this as the language of Autism Speaks.

For those who somehow don't know, Autism Speaks is an "autism awareness" organization that notably has no people with autism on its board, has vast money mismanagement funneling company funds directly into the people at the top, and has been criticized by a huge number of people with autism. Not undeserved, either, as they've spent years and years convincing parents that having a kid with autism, of any level of functionality, is the literal worst thing in the world and will tear apart your family, break up your marriage, make your family a laughingstock, and put you thousands of dollars in debt. And by the way, this is not an exaggeration. They had a commercial that literally said as much (again, CW for ableism):

Here's the (partial) transcript for those who understandably don't want to give it views:

I am autism. I’m visible in your children, but if I can help it, I am invisible to you until it’s too late. I know where you live. And guess what? I live there too. I hover around all of you. I know no color barrier, no religion, no morality, no currency. I speak your language fluently. And with every voice I take away, I acquire yet another language. I work very quickly. I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined, and if you’re happily married, I will make sure that your marriage fails. Your money will fall into my hands, and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don’t sleep, so I make sure you don’t either. I will make it virtually impossible for your family to easily attend a temple, birthday party, or public park without a struggle, without embarrassment, without pain. You have no cure for me. Your scientists don’t have the resources, and I relish their desperation. Your neighbors are happier to pretend that I don’t exist—of course, until it’s their child. I am autism. I have no interest in right or wrong. I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness. I will fight to take away your hope. I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams. I will make sure that every day you wake up you will cry, wondering who will take care of my child after I die? And the truth is, I am still winning, and you are scared. And you should be.

Again, there is a lot to unpack with this. First of all, it places the emphasis of the problems on the parents ("I will make sure that your marriage fails. Your money will fall into my hands") rather than the autistic kids, because the kids are viewed as less human and their problems are lesser. This continues into the line about embarrassing the parents when going out to church, birthday parties, and parks. The kids are only taken into consideration after it says "You have no cure for me… I will fight to take away your hope," and even then, it says, "I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams." Still placing emphasis on the parent rather than on the child--what about their dreams? Not taken into consideration because they are not human. And there's also the fact that it places heavy emphasis on the lack of a cure for autism, rather than on fixing society and giving accessibility accommodations for those with autism to make their lives easier.

The other video I'd like to bring up is this interview with one of the moms from Autism Speaks, who openly admits that she had considered killing herself and her autistic daughter (if you've gotten this far, you already know CW: ableism):

She's talking about it like one might talk about killing a pet that's sick. And in her own words, the only thing preventing her from doing so was her other non-autistic child. Because only that child is seen as human. Despicable.

And okay, yeah, most of you know that Autism Speaks is garbage. (I mean, I hope you know and I don't have to tell you, but if you didn't know before now, then I urge you to stop supporting them, and to tell anyone you know who does support them to also stop.) So why am I telling you this? Because this is literally the exact same rhetoric that RFK Jr. and every anti-vaxxer has. This belief that autism is a curse, a disease. To them, it's better to have your kid die of preventable diseases than risk even the possibility of them having autism. It's all right out of the Autism Speaks playbook.

It's no coincidence that earlier this year, we got that Zachary Levi movie, The Unbreakable Boy, that suggested that the thing to help people with autism is to chuck them into a mental asylum without ever visiting them and that will make them get better. That was based on a real blog from the father of an autistic child and was funded by Autism Speaks.

I don't like throwing around the term "eugenics," because it's one of those terms that gets overused to death on the Internet, and its overuse lessens the impact of the term. But... this is, quite literally, the language of eugenics. And it's becoming important to spot stuff like this, so I wanted to throw this out there.

Yes, plenty of autistic people will hold a job, play baseball, write a poem, go out on a date, pay taxes. But those who can't do those things are also important, and their lives shouldn't have to be justified based on how much they contribute to society and how exploitable their deviation from the norm is by elites.

Anyway, I'm done with this rant now. Screw Autism Speaks, screw RFK Jr., and screw anyone who ascribes to their rhetoric. Protect autistic people.