#how to write vulnerable characters

[urfriendlywriter]

What is emotional vulnerability? And can how can your characters show it?

(these are from my POV of what I have learnt and researched. differences in opinion are appreciated because no definition and depiction is set in stone | Credits must be given when reposted elsewhere / @urfriendlywriter ! I hope this helps all of you :D)

Tackling this with three topics:

What's vulnerability?

Actions related to vulnerability. (Actions/words that depict a person is feeling vulnerable + some dialogue prompts)

How to build trust between two people?

Vulnerability:

Emotional vulnerability is the ability to be open to and express one's feelings, even when facing the risk of rejection, criticism, or shame. Vulnerability means acknowledging your difficult emotions. Accepting overwhelming feelings, being able to express them with tender care towards yourself and others.

I'd consider myself a very openly communicative person. If I love you--as a friend, family or something else, I'll make sure you know the depth of it, the meaning behind my words, my look and my touch. I encourage vulnerability in all my relationships and it has positively reflected in their own personal growth as well. Being open, being real, being you, with all the ache, the scars, the hurt, and even the small ball of light within yourself amidst is all---that's vulnerability. And as we,

We gen z, we shelter ourselves to protect ourselves from hurt. But... if we get hurt, is it really our fault? No. If somebody hurts you intentionally, it doesn't translate to what you deserve or must go through. But if I don't get hurt... how will I learn to cope with it? Express it? Communicate through it? Learn from it? And.. importantly, how will I..

Learn how to heal myself again. Learn how to love myself far better. Learn how I want to be and what relationships I want to attract?

So, me, personally, I put myself out there. Like an open book. To read, to feel, to see--including the hurt and the parts I'm working on. Of course, i don't fully lodge it down a person's throat in one go, but u get what i mean. It is slow building of trust and can be used to your advantage as well. (lol that sounds toxic)

Harsh Truths?

Some people will use it against you, but should it hurt you if u were real to yourself? No.

Not all people u open up to may be emotionally mature. And that's okay. Move on.

It is not the end of the world if someone who saw all parts of you turned against you. It simply wasn't your person. It was neither of your faults.

Paint a character afraid to be vulnerable:

Hesitancy to open up, to speak up for themselves.

Blinking back tears, and telling themselves they'd be okay regardless.

"Atleast I don't have it worse."

"And.. If.. I tell you.. You won't look at me differently? Like.. I'm--I'm not worthy?"

doesn't ask for help. doesn't accept help easily.

doesn't think they're worthy to be seen. or to be loved. to be accepted or to even be heard.

"what i say won't make much of a difference anyway" A & "No, i want to hear it. how little, silly, stupid, serious, deep, it may be. I want to hear it. Please."

being numb to pain that they think it's normal to internalize it all.

and one day it erupts all out. into tears and rage. or raw unfiltered pain that bleeds onto everyone who loves them, hurting them too.

they freeze, momentarily surprised when they're asked for their honest opinion

or when they've to blink back tears when someone notices something and helps them without them even asking

detached during intimacy or hyperventilating after or during it

pulling away and pushing the other person away when they truly need them the most

Paint a character confident in themselves and are openly communicative:

you will not second guess what they feel about u, because u can see it in their faces or they'll openly say it

they encourage honest and deep conversations

the look of love is always there in their gaze

they love openly. they have so much love to give.

they'll hear u out no matter the time of the day and will provide a safe space for u

"I'm always here for u" in a soft, quiet voice, a gentle smile and a warm hug

"It's okay to feel that way. Hell u should feel that way. If u wanna talk about it.. here I am."

they're their own safe spaces and they can dive into their emotions, whenever and wherever needed.

they won't let u feel alone in ur misery. they'll shoulder the burden with u, but won't internalize it as their own. (i fear this is very important)

always knows the cause of why they said what they said / how they behaved or reacted

can analyze even u with one glance.

"how are you?" As a gentle caress of words & "I've-I've.. never been asked that.. not with such sincerity.." shyness of the one opening up.

^ "So, here I am.. I've got all the time of the day. Care to tell me?"

They aren't afraid of rejection. But they'll not put up with bullshit.

Building trust between two people:

Building trust is intimate. If done right. Between friends, family, lovers or anyone it may be. It's delicate, it's comforting quietness at some times and hearty loudness at some other. It's being understood, being seen, being able to communicate freely and respectfully.

Vulnerability is present where trust is.

asking help for small things without shying away from it

physical closeness. after moments of honesty or heavy emotions.

prioritizing each other

admiring every little thing they do

lots of "thank you"s being said that shows appreciation loud and clear

nervous glances, shaky hands and fluttering heartbeats as they may be help u zip up ur dress.

forehead kisses, followed up with, "I see you.. Let me help u cleanse away the day's stress."

celebrating even the smallest of their success

asking consent in every small thing!!

^ "i-i why are u asking for that? yes, of course." A & "Love.. I should always ask, even for such a thing as that." B

Being slow but steady with each other

"U don't want to do that? no rush." Immediately backing off A with a smile & B trying to understand how they aren't mad yet "A-are u sure?"

^ "We're in no rush.. We'll go at you pace. But consider my emotions too down the line, hmm?"

Lots of "And how does that make you feel?"

arguments feel less like the ones they saw growing up. and now it's more intimate, thoughtful, full of understanding and closeness. both sides are heard, understood, appreciated and both sides change.

Author's (@urfriendlywriter aka Ziya) note:

As someone who had to learn myself, I'm hoping such a love finds me and all of us too! I've read gentle love in a lot of books. Gentle, patient, communicative, uplifting but I'm yet to find a book that's full of these. So if u have any recommendations, let me know.

Thank u for reading so far! I hope this helps u write amazing, emotionally available characters.

[dellamortte]

"He's trying to leave, Spite. It's... complicated. Mortals can't just change ourselves. It takes a lot of time."

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

There is something so captivating and sorrowful about the Dynasty lore book that I honestly think makes it one of my most cherished lore books.

My Witness project is being discussed in a few days (my stomach just dissolved itself at that thought what) and for this project, I’ve collected thoughts on how species that use the darkness to form their spiritual beliefs (Psions and Qugu specifically) have similarities to spiritual beliefs often found in the Caribbean and in South America (with discussions over matters like spiritual substance use with ayahuasca (Qugu), ancestral veneration and communication from Western African practices (Both), and the suppression of panentheistic/pantheistic and harmonizing thought (Psion)). The Qugu have been such a comfort to me for a while now and whenever I think about their fate in Dynasty, I am filled with such a sense of anguish and mourning.

The unfolding of the events in the lore book is just plain devastating to read; seeing Te’Qal’s absolute best efforts to save their people not be enough to stop the Hive and the Witness speaks on something I think is underdeveloped in Destiny.

We hear so much about the annihilation of countless star systems at the hands of the Hive and Black Fleets, but often, due to the information coming from beings who lead those fleets or people reflecting back on their escape, the sheer scope and emotional impact of these losses is not captured in a way that is truthful to the matter.

Dynasty’s narrative following Te’Qal and the Qugu people changes this trend and it makes the extermination of the Qugu people all that more impactful.

It starts off with familiarizing readers with how the Qugu came to be; how they developed their spiritual beliefs and their way of life. It’s delicious world building (which I always love from Destiny writers), but it also establishes just how much will be ripped away and snuffed out by Savathûn, Oryx, and the Witness.

Te’Qal is a competent, determined Warden who vows to do nothing but their best to defend Seht, both before and after they understood their vision of the fall of the Qugu. They were well trained and the various descriptions of their armada’s defenses provides evidence of them being a masterful tactician. In fact, Dynasty even admits that on the basis of skill, the Qugu were beyond the Hive, who were winning off of their brute force and numbers (“When evenly matched in numbers, Te'Qal's superior tactics pick the Hive forces apart” - Dynasty)

Te’Qal is relentless in their desire to preserve their people, their beliefs, their home. They sacrifice their well-being to offer hope to the Qugu people during a hopeless time, pushing their body and mind beyond its limits to keep themselves alert enough to lead ark ships and give speeches to bolster morale.

Te’Qal did everything they could and it wasn’t enough and I don’t think there is anything more devastating than that.

To have hope against intentionally-made hopeless, only for it to not be enough to save your people?

What a defeating, soul crushing, utter helpless feeling.

Destiny tells us that hope is worth having and it will lead to you defeating impossible odds, but as shown in Dynasty, hope is also a tireless thing that sometimes doesn’t pay off fast enough to save everyone.

Te’Qal’s determination to not just give into the Black Fleet and the Hive, their determination to let their hope go out loudly instead of fizzling into nothing, lead to them destroying a pyramid with their final stand and thwarting countless hive vessels that were in their star system.

Their final stand left a mark on the universe and set the Hive and Witness back, even if it was momentarily, but that still wasn’t enough to save their people.

However, I think the cruelest part of it all is how the Hive and the Witness refer to the extinguishing of the Qugu; how everything Te’Qal held dear and fought til the very end for was meaningless to them.

Oryx, in the Book of Sorrows, speaks of the Qugu in such a disgusting way, completely minimizing them as sentient beings and acting as if ridding them from existence was a noble act of “liberation”.

“Savathûn and her broods have liberated the Qugu from jaw-beasts, and indeed from existence…I know more joy and more anguish than the entire Qugu race could ever experience… Joy that we have put down these blights. Scoured them away and left the universe clean, ready to move towards its final shape. “ - Oryx, Verse 3:3, “Fire Without Fuel”, Book of Sorrows

Part of his view of the Qugu as lesser is their veneration of Jaw Beasts and their ability to receive visions, saying “For millions of years of evolution the Qugu have been infected by a virus so insidious that it wrote itself into their genome…They venerate these beasts and treat them as gods”.

He says the relationship between the Qugu and Jaw Beast is “insidious” and there is a tone of condescension when talking of their spirituality. Oryx sees Qugu spirituality as a blight and burden, but if it truly was so, then the Qugu wouldn’t have spent so much effort in preserving the land around their “mountain” for their ark ships. To the Qugu, there could be no new home for them unless their beliefs came with them.

The ancestral visions Te’Qal receives are so heart wrenching and beautiful, and when they are at their lowest, when all efforts seemed futile, they wanted nothing more than to drink the nectar and receive those visions. They speak to their Te’Dura for support and it is by remembering all who came before them as well as their capabilities that Te’Qal finds the strength to prove that the Qugu not only existed, but existed proudly ("Not because you forget, but because you have been hopeless before." Te'Dura rears into a taller posture. "There is victory in that darkness. A kind. Find it." - Dynasty)

The Qugu and their belief in the power of the darkness were intertwined, making it a key part of their identity. It gave them meaning, it guided them to become more than what they could be alone, and yet, in the eyes of the Witness, it didn’t mean anything at all compared to its belief in the Final Shape.

“Far distant, there is a people lacing ribbons of Darkness through their thoughts to bring them closer together, that no one might be divided from the purpose they have dreamed for themselves. But they have not come to Darkness through the Gardener's neglect — it is simply their natural course. In time, we shall enfold them into our shape, but they need not urgent salvation…Some resist the rampaging Hive, crying out into the Darkness. It is to us they reach, in the end. We hear their pleas and grant them succor, salvation, enshrining them in our monument. Toward our inevitable final shape.” - The Witness, “Cacophony, Euphony.”, Destiny Grimoire Anthology, Vol. VII: Penumbra

“The purpose they have dreamed for themselves” was not a respectable purpose to the Witness for it wasn’t the purpose it wanted to enact upon them. The Qugu are not specifically mentioned, but they fit the description of the darkness species mentioned.

The Witness saw the “waywardness” of the Qugu as a problem to be solved, something that had to be corrected to give them a proper place in their vision for the universe, and though the Qugu never asked for anything more than safety and the ability to keep their connection to their ancestral lines, the Witness forcefully responded by sweeping up every memory of the Qugu people into an echo, extinguishing them and turning a cacophony of expression into a euphony it found fitting.

It was never once mentioned that the Qugu ever knew about the light or Traveler, yet they were still treated to ruinous assault for the crime of crafting their own meaning out of a power granted by the Witness’ pyramid; a pyramid they had revered as a mountain and watched turn on them in their moment of need.

Even when Te’Qal and all the ancestors they drew power from showed that they wouldn’t let their sacred mountain become a cursed pyramid without a fight and that they were willing to do the ultimate sacrifice to refute the corruption of what they exalted, the Witness still forced them to accept it’s “salvation”.

That is cruelty beyond imagination and no justification the Witness could ever offer or belief in its righteousness would erase what it did to the Qugu.

The Art of Symbiosis entry from the Inspiral lore book is one I have read again and again and again. To be completely vulnerable, it is an entry that has elevated me from the depths of gripping grief time and time again. I actually have the entry printed so that I may reach over and read it when I need my resolve strengthened.

It’s a bit strange to feel this way towards an entry, I know, but The Art of Symbiosis and it’s Qugu narrator offered assurance to me that the beliefs I held that gave me meaning, that allowed me to move on from scorning a universe I didn’t truly believe in, weren’t as “meaningless” and “distant from the truth” as others made me think.

The way the Qugu speak of those who have passed is just so consoling and it reminds me that the person I’m doing this project for mattered as much in death as they did in life. They may be no more, but I still am, and there is meaning in wanting to create an impact on a finite world that will show that people like them existed, and that existence mattered. There is meaning in being perfectly fine with a finite existence because you don’t need your lost loved ones to be eternal and “perfected” to matter to you.

I don’t want people to think of people like them the way Oryx and the Witness thought of the Qugu. I’ll do everything I can to ensure it isn’t that way and I thank the writers for giving the Qugu a voice beyond the one in the Book of Sorrows years ago to remind me of why I feel so strongly towards this matter.

I’m doing this project for them like Te’Qal did it for Seht, and though my efforts and hope may not win now, I hold onto the idea that this tirelessness will help those who come after me win in ways my lost loved one couldn’t have imagined.

[silverwhittlingknife]

hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?

GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE

Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.

I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:

Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?

We're gonna go in chronological order!

Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:

Aww. Such a cute elephant!

Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!

Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:

SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.

(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)

Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:

Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.

Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.

Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:

Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:

... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.

Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.

For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.

Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.

Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?

tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later

Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!

The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.

(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)

Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.

By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.

So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)

Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do

Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.

(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)

The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.

Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."

But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.

Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)

Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!

(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)

Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.

Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.

Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.

So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.

And look, here we are:

Aww.

Whew - that's everything I could find!

Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[catenary-chad]

AC/DC is a VERY smart song, one of the reasons it’s my favorite lyrically in the show is that it’s so explicitly about electric trains and has multiple references to super interesting issues/traits with them. This doesn’t go into the broader electricity puns (which are shockingly versatile), just the ones most relevant to trains

“Feel my magnetism”

I’m still trying to figure out if this is an issue with remotely modern electric trains and motors, but I have heard a claim about a turn of the century New York Central S-motor (one of the very first mass produced electric locomotives!) basically “picking up and stealing” some tools left near the track this way and then dropping them when switched off.  Basically the whole “pulling in things with magnetism” has at least some real life precedent with trains.  

“AC/DC it’s okay by me/ I can switch and change my frequency”

This was perhaps the defining feature of the CC 40100 Electra’s helmet was based on.  Due to inconsistent electrification systems (due to early 20th century tech limits) it’s very common to have 2,3, even 4 voltage locomotives and EMUs since it’s cheaper and easier than replacing all that infrastructure.  Having both AC and DC compatibility is actually super old, the New Haven Railroad had one of the first AC-powered lines ever and the very first AC locomotives there had to be equipped for both it and the existing DC third rail in other sections.  But being able to run on multiple AC frequencies is much more recent, and the CC 40100 was an early example of it.  The Northeast Corridor in the US actually requires trains capable of running on THREE different AC voltages/frequencies, being able to “change your frequency” is an important requirement there (and in continental Europe)  

Basically, silly 70s-80s era bi allusions are just how electric trains are.  It’s so out there but so on the nose.  It’s probably the single smartest writing decision of the show because it works so well and talking train media otherwise NEVER talks about these aspects of electrification.  

“I can shock you, I can set you on fire”

The history of diesel and electric trains involves so, so much spontaneous combustion.  Exploding is almost exclusively a steam engine thing, but if they wanted to dramatically kill Electra or Greaseball or any of the Nationals, this is always an option and weirdly underused.  

“I can reach up and pluck down the lightning/watch the conductor, see the live wire”

Direct reference to overhead electrification and how pantographs are raised to make contact.   Also fun play on train conductor/electrical conductor, which is popular in trolley/train jokes.  This system is something almost exclusive to trains and part of why they are so established, efficient, widespread and convenient as electric vehicles.  They’re genuinely absurdly OP vs basically all other forms of traction since they don’t have to carry their own fuel/power supply and can have ridiculously high single-unit power since the only limit is how much capacity the power grid has (and how much can be practically used without wheelslip).  Due to their fixed paths they can run this way vs needing batteries and totally bypass the decades of density limits those had.  Even today batteries are not really practical as a main power source for anything bigger than commuter EMUs and switchers.  

(Trolleybuses are a thing and there’s been attempts at sticking pantographs on trucks… and I guess bumper cars technically count too lol) 

Shoutout to Stexico for having a very different chorus with somehow the exact same sentiment. 

“Macho/Hembra es mi conector” (Male/Female is my connector)

This is just a hilariously matter of fact statement about the electrical connections on AAR standard passenger engines and coaches, which I think Mexico uses since their rail system is so US-based but I could be wrong (privatization axed basically all their passenger services around the time Stexico came out and there’s very little even today).  The stuff about “with my switch I connect you” is also incredibly matter of fact because there’s usually a separate switch or dial to turn on head end power on locomotives.  

Electra is based on this very 70s bi stereotype/trope that lumps in the botanical definition of “bisexual” and makes characters “both male and female” in a way that’s inconsistently trans, GNC, and/or literally being 50/50 both in a way that doesn’t work that way in humans.  Velvet von Ragnar from Never Too Young to Die is almost IDENTICAL in this regard as another example.  But the hilarious thing is that it’s just… incredibly matter of fact and literal when applied to electric trains because so many of them are able to run on both AC and DC power because rail electrification is so messy and many of them are technically “both male and female” going off electrical connections.

Anyways, tangent aside

I do not know enough German to appreciate the intricacies of stuff like word choice or idioms in the translated lyrics but these ones are fun because they’re explicitly about overhead wires

“Steh unter Spannung”

I’ve seen the translation given as “I’m a live wire” but the more literal one seems to be “stand under tension/power/voltage”. “Tension” is often used in place of “voltage” especially outside of English, but there’s a fun double meaning with trains specifically. The allusion to voltage/power in overhead wire is obvious, but  literal catenary wire tension is also SO important specifically in rail electrification.  The wire has to be tight and straight enough to make proper contact with the pantograph (and getting the upwards pressure on those is also important).  Europe has mostly reasonably modern lines with adjustable weights to keep wire tension constant but the northeast US has HUGE issues with outdated systems with fixed wires that sag in the heat (then get snagged on pantographs and torn down) or snap in the cold when they shrink/expand.

“Ein Griff von mir” (A grip of mine)

“Holt den Blitz aus der Leitung,” (Takes the lightning out of the wire)

Also seems to be a direct reference to pantograph pressure/contact with overhead lines, similar to the English version of this line.  There’s a strong hand/arm association with pantographs in general due to their design, modern ones bend in arm-like ways and “touch” the wire in a very particular way.

Also this is probably just wild coincidence but “Griff” makes me laugh because Zaine Griff was the workshop Electra.  

[mr-payjay]

watching the nickel apology scene from the great bluish bakery over and over going completely insane. i could rewrite this to actually sound like nickel.

[lord-squiggletits]

Saw someone say "Megatron and Optimus barely interact in IDW1" and that feels like a very has-only-read-MTMTE thing to say kskdodndd because like sure they didn't co-star in the same long running series for 50+ issues like other characters did (like MTMTE characters interacting with each other or exRID or WB/TAAO) but to say they BARELY interact??? They interact a lot both in superficial "blah we're fighting a war" ways and in super lore important moments/series and also in incredibly homosexual there-is-no-straight-explanation-for-this moments like

Off the top of my head these are some series/storylines/issues where they interact directly. Defining interaction as anything from "the whole story is about them" to "their interaction is a plot element but not necessarily the main focus" to "they interact but only for a few lines":

The Autocracy trilogy (Autocracy, Monstrosity, Primacy)

Stormbringer

All Hail Megatron

The Transformers ongoing 2009 (with emphasis on Chaos Theory and Police Action for the most gay moments)

That one issue where Megatron grabs OP's spark through his chest Mortal Kombat style

Dark Cybertron

MTMTE (past OP in Elegant Chaos, Functionist Universe OP, and current day OP during Dark Cybetron and Megatron's trial)

And then there's other times where IDW1 Megatron and Optimus aren't in front of each other interacting/speaking with each other but are still thinking of each other:

The prelude to Dying of the Light where OP hears the LL distress signal and is afraid (not explicitly for Megatron but like he put Megatron on that ship)

MTMTE, Megatron tells Ravage that something he said to Optimus was the turning point of how he viewed himself

MTMTE again, Megatron all but says aloud that he made Tarn into Tarn to spite Optimus

One of the GI Joe crossovers where Optimus symathizes with a Joe over what it feels like 'to believe in someone who everyone else sees as past redemption' while an image of Megatron is literally behind him in his thoughts

So like, IDW MegOP has plenty of canon interactions and even if not all of them are very long moments (i.e. are only a few lines alluding to each other) there's still plenty of interactions between them. Plus I would say that it's pretty powerful how even the small, blink-and-you-miss-it dialogue moments actually indicate that Megatron and Optimus view each other as focal points where different decisions/beliefs they had revolved in some way around the other person. I think it's cool and compelling that IDW Megatron and Optimus express so often (even if only in thought) that the other person shaped who they became, or THEY did something specifically in reaction/spite towards the other, or where something they did to the other troubles them and lingers in their minds.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i rlly do think it’s a testament to the complexity of suguru’s character that i could probably legitimately write only for him for the rest of my life

[ociels]

his brother died and one of his first thoughts were that it should’ve been him instead because now people are going to be disappointed…

[what-even-is-sleep]

thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such

[rxttenfish]

Thanks for opening my eyes to Miravi as a ship, it’s one I never would’ve even thought of but once I started thinking about it… yeah. Yeah!!!! It makes so much sense! Two tropey girls, a tragic princess and her conflicted knight in shining armour! I can’t help it, I’m a sucker for that…. (this might be why I always play as Vicky in MP…. because when I romance Miri my queen…. the polaroid is them as a knight and a princess….)

I love how you characterise them a bunch. I love that they can be two dorks together. Two nerds who love talking to and listening to each other. Two people who can heal together. Happy times for the both of them <33

thanks!! i still recall that this ship came mostly by accident to me, and honestly it was a damn fortunate accident at that because they work AMAZINGLY together. i really do like picking ships by virtue of personality and how well those personalities would mesh together, and don't like ships where that isn't directly considered, which, to be fair, i did at first think the two would probably dislike or hate each other! but i ended up thinking about it more and how the two might actually interact, and, honestly? the way they come off to me has always been that, if they can just get over that initial hump, they're WONDERFUL for each other.

i just like the way they parallel each other. both clinging to what they were told they are for their entire lives, something given to them by family and whom they had little choice in, but which they threw themselves into with a passion simply because they had nothing else they thought they could be. both with nasty, tangled histories, upholding systems which exist to eat the world and themselves simply serving as the last victims of it, neither able to fully question their role in it due to how much has been invested, how much would be lost if they had to put it aside. both with ringing alarm bells of psychological distress of all of this, that they cannot hear because they were never taught they were alarm bells, seeking out something that's close enough to what they were told they're supposed to be but without the teeth, without the fear, without the alarm bells. both rejected by their own systems by virtue of some flaw that isn't really a flaw, a fault that has marked them as unable to live up to their own myths. both only really able to come to any terms about all of this when they have other people, people who aren't a part of that system, people who they can depend on and trust, to start pointing it out and offering alternatives.

it's good! i like when two characters' journeys are really one journey, one path together, when they're in the same boat and just haven't realized it yet. i like it when they realize it, when they can finally start talking about it, finding solidarity in, yeah, actually, this IS bullshit, and why would someone do that to them. i like it when they're a conversation with each other, a mirror through which the other can be dismantled and picked apart and seen for what it is, when both act to lay the other out plain, when only the both of them can see the other for who they truly are.

and i like when it gives characters that are all high octane and presence and tension, just some downtime together. i like it when they can finally take off all that they drape themselves in, and just sit there together, vulnerable and exposed. i like how much they talk and have to say to each other, but i like how much they don't talk to each other as well, how much they can just exist in the silence together because the words aren't necessary. i like it when two characters being vulnerable with each other first feels like strangulation, and then, release.

[chamerionwrites]

Because I just did a Constant Gardener reread I also have to note that le Carré remains incredibly good both at writing people getting the ever-living shit kicked out of them - in all its brutal bewildering unglamorous physicality - and at writing apolitical (at least in their own minds) servants of the state developing ideological convictions:

“By night his interior world reclaimed him, as it had every night since Tessa’s death. Toiling at the marquetry desk in the window bay, doggedly writing to Ham with his bruised right hand, following the travails of Markus Lorbeer as retold by Birgit, then gingerly resuming his labor of love to Ham, Justin was conscious of a drawing sense of his own completion. If Lorbeer the penitent was in the desert, purging his guilt with a lie of locusts and wild honey, Justin too was alone with his destiny. But he was resolved. And in some dark sense purified. He had never supposed that his search would have a good end. It had never occurred to him that there could be one. To take up Tessa’s mission - to shoulder her banner and put on her courage - was purpose enough for him. She had witnessed a monstrous injustice and gone out to fight it. Too late, he too had witnessed it. Her fight was his. But when he remembered the eternal night of the black hood and smelled his own vomit, when he surveyed the systematic bruising of his body, the oval imprints of yellow and blue that ran like colored musical notes across his trunk and back and thighs, he experienced a different kind of kinship. I’m one of you. I no longer tend the roses while you murmur over your green tea. You needn’t lower your voices as I approach. I’m with you at the table, saying yes.”

[aq2003]

i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it

[johanna-swann]

Are some of the Buddie fans aware that they're creating their own feedback loop?

(Some) Fans are really excited about Buddie. So the journalists, some of them Buddie shippers themselves and keen to feed their avid readers (and get their clicks), keep asking questions about it. The actors have to answer those questions in some sort of way, even if only to say that they have a strong platonic bond and amazing friendship. That leads to headlines like "Buck & Eddie closer than ever" and stuff like that. Which gets even more fans even more excited about potential Buddie canon. Which leads journalists to ask more questions about it and write about 911 through the Buddie lense which draws more attention to the Buddie circles online which leads journalists to write more about- You get what I'm saying.

Meanwhile the actors keep talking about the FRIENDSHIP and PLATONIC bond, about Ryan Guzman and Eddie Diaz both having to figure out how not being the tough guy all the time and having a sensitive side DOESN'T mean they're gay or unmanly, about how important and beautiful it is to have that coming out scene between a bisexual man and his HETEROSEXUAL male friend.

But journalists keep phrasing headlines in ways that suggest Buddie canon is almost upon us, even though the words the actor actually said were him doubling down on Eddie being straight and struggling with his (conservative) upbringing for other reasons.

[birchbow]

are you still going to be updating price of forgiveness in addition to this new fic or are you pausing it for a while?

TBH I haven't been able to work on any new writing at all in a hot second because work has been erratic and exhausting! KVvTEG is getting posted much more regularly and frequently because it's already written, but I'm still picking away at PoF as well as like, three other projects simultaneously.

Unfortunately, PoF chapters just are enormous and take a long-ass time to write, and I'm chewing irritably on the logistics of how to give like nine different combinations of characters a satisfying debrief/decompression in the space of one chapter without 1. feeling like I'm being repetitive or 2. short-changing any of the core characters/relationships.

tl;dr: PoF's not paused, the next chapter's going to take about as long as it would have anyway. But also that might be a while. QuQ