#hugo is soo me

[camzverse]

im normal about them btw <-liar

(zoom in for a closer look at everything)

[dreamsandscenes]

I finished Lost, and oh my god

[dizzytitty]

I wish the animatic in my head could just materialize exactly as I want it to without me having to animate 4 minutes to match a song

[bellysoupset]

i’m sorry you’re having a bad night soup :(

if you’d like to would you mind just telling me some random little things about jonah

the more obscure and miscellaneous the better ����

- 🧝‍♂️

Hi Elf! Eh, it's fine, my brain is constantly running a mile, but this will calm down soo enough, fingers crossed.

Alright fun facts about Jon!

He's big on gift giving. It's an art and he's really good at it.

Jonah has never been to a pride parade before. In fact, only Wendy out of all my OCs has.

Jonah has both his ears pierced, but nowadays he doesn't wear anything on them. He did wear diamond studs on them during a stretch of high school.

Jonah wears makeup pretty much every day. Not as in fashion (colors/glitter/etc), but he's really really good with concealer. You'll never see this man with a pimple.

Jonah DID want a sibling, which is something he'll not say out loud. It was such a huge disappointment to him when his step mom didn't let him be a big brother to Angie and then he was enrolled in boarding school. Like he eagerly waited during all of the pregnancy and was thriving when random strangers told him he'd be a big brother.

Jonah's favorite movie as a kid was the Parent Trap, he's the child of divorced parents and had an annoying, much younger step mom. Nowadays he likes indie queer/horror stuff and will not own up to this, but Luke knows.

If you're tenacious enough and look at teen magazines from the early 2010s, you'll find him in some of them. "Jackie Mallory's heartrobber son" you might read. You may even find pictures of him and Luke together if you search enough.

Jonah's granparents from his father's side are still alive, although he's not close with them.

His letterbox is his pride and joy and he leaves these long, winded reviews.

He's got a signature perfume: Hugo Boss Boss (the green one, that's got notes of green apple)

[calysticollision]

STF Modern AU / OO1

WELCOME TO, calysticollision's stf modern / celebrity au. Where the gang are no longer royals, just some very influential people.

𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿𝘀:

— pictures here are all from pinterest, and are most definetly not mine (i struggled with the pictures omg)

— the social media profiles you see here are all fake and edited.

— includes ships (Hugfia, Desamber, and Vivames. And some others coming soon)

— introductions will come a few characters at a time. (soo keep a look out after this one, and also feel free to request characters! I'll try my best)

— and personal thanks to stormikitty for helping me with what these people do for a living

CHARACTER INTRODUCTION !

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 ★ vetenarian — i imagine sofia post alot on social media, and she enjoys sharing her days (the vet-log where she just post the animals she checks-up on). And Sofia stil very much enjoys ice skating like she did as a child but she kept it as a hobby, and she likes to share that aswell.

and

𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 ★ ice skater — hugo would be the type of person to barely post (he has a secret dump account where he post like 3 times aday). But when he does post it's like a full on slide show, different days of the week with different people and places.

𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 ★ astronomer — queen of being aesthetic, her post are aesthetic pleasing to look at, and every single one is pinterest worthy. She is very active and post alot i imagine, and is an influencer in inself with like probably lots of brand deals. Was also the one who set up the winslowsforpalestine funds to help all those suffering (sadly it is a fake link, but go check out the links in Hugo, Desmond and Vivian's!)

and

𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐎𝐍 ★ author and scientist — Desmond is definitely one of the smaller bok authors but he is still very well known. And plus his book series is still fairly new so he is still growing in popularity. He was mostly known through Amber's Instagram as she post desmond alot (as her boyfriend). And Desmond was also quite well known on bookstagram— what can i say he's a man of many interest. (Desmond will forever will brunette in my head, i refuse to acknowledge him being a blond, he is just.. i imagined him as a brunette for the longest time.. and he wears glasses)

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 ★ hockey player — Captain of the royals (i suck at naming things). He and his siblings are very popular as there family are the founders of the Winslow Corp. James barely post himself on his instagram, mostly posting pictures of hockey, His siblings, his friends, or his girlfriend (he post Vivian like alot, even though Vivian gets shy most times and often tells James not to post her but he post her anywayyyy (ugh i love vivames so much otp))

and

𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 ★ singer-musician — Vivian is definitely more of an Instagram story girl rather than a post girl. She is very active on her story and has alot of highlights to make the memories last (and yes the feather is feather by sabrina carpenter, cuz.. Vivian was voiced by sabrina carpenter and it was just such a nice opportunity i couldn't miss). Definitely more faceless, and post's photos from the back or side.

end / for now

— uhh yea, this is all i have so far, i'll make more, if i have motivation.. when i TELL YOU i struggled so hard with the pictures like bro how do people get such good graphics what in the world are you guys searching.. but yea.. i tried..

[br1ghtestlight]

ranking all bob's burgers holiday episodes except in different categories to be fair to the holidays i don't care about <3

VALENTINES DAY

v for valentine-detta (AMAZING episode so funny and the introduction of nat who is iconic!!! also adorable subplot w/ bob and gene. not even really about romance)

can't buy me math (SOOO FUNNY tina and darryl have the best dynamic their fake dating was so stupid. don't even remember what bob and linda did in this episode tbh but im sure it was cute)

bob actually (super cute episode!!! jimmy jr and tina are so nerdy/adorable and i love rudy and louise's kiss. bob and linda were cute too <3 don't really care abt gene's subplot with the cafeteria lady but its not bad or anything and i prefer it to him having an actual romance subplot)

my fuzzy valentine (i actually forgot this episode existed bcuz i don't rewatch early seasons very often but its cute!!!! it has the kids wearing raincoats and jumping in puddles so it automatically gets an A+ from me)

the gene and courtney show (I FORGOT THIS WAS A VALENTINES DAY EPISODE LMAO its actually very sweet and genuine?? i think gene and courtney work better as friends but their relationship was very cute and gene's song for courtney was an actual 10/10. your hearts not broken its only growing 😭😭💕)

romancing the beef (this episode is okay!!! fun to rewatch and i love gene and louise's hijinks when serving the customers and their slow dance song Also the origin of the iconic arm hair line from linda and teddy. this is also the lastest appearance of hugo when will he return home from the war <\3)

ferry on my wayward bob and linda (a late addition because for some reason this episode isnt listed as a valentines day episode on the wiki??? idk i enjoyed bob and linda they were cute :) and i loved jen's stupid boyfriend and his stupid voice that subplot was. soo)

bed, bob and beyond (this episode being last makes it seem like i don't like it very much BUT ACTUALLY I THINK ITS A SUPER INTERESTING EPISODE I DONT REALLY GET THE HATE bob and linda having an actual argument is something we rarely see and it was interesting to see how the kids responded to it and also everything with the broken bed makes me laugh for some reason. we love dirty laundry and broken beds in this household)

HALLOWEEN EPISODES

the apple gore-chard but not scary (no real reason this episode is my favorite i just dont care abt most of the halloween episodes and this episode is VERY silly and fun. loved bob and louise going on a field trip together and gene/tina/louise's absolutely ridiculous costume like What is their problem)

the pumpkinening (a gayle episode where she's actually pretty okay and not the antagonist wow?? also i love having a peak into her and linda's high school years and their pumpkin smashing. very fun episode honestly my favorite to rewatch ALSO GAYLE AND LINDA SAY I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER AND GAYLE SAYS OF COURSE SHE CARES ABOUT LINDA AND WANTS HER TO BE HAPPY THEYRE SISTERS <33)

tina and the real ghost (FULLY unhinged episode but very funny i love louise lying about the ghost and tina's extremely fake ghost boyfriend. bob immediately knowing that louise was lying bcuz she is her Fathers Daughter. also jimmy jr and zeke were great in this episode love their philosophical debate about life after death)

the hauntening (GREAT episode i love the family working together to scare louise!!! truly a worthy successor to what an (april) fool believes but everytime i rewatch it all i can think about is how louise has been obviously scared SO MANY TIMES in episodes before this so her saying she's never been scared before is just straight up lying. like she faced Death she had a gun to her head cmon now.... but also it kinda makes sense that a nine year old would lie about that it feels very in character. cute episode)

heartbreak hotel-oween (this is such a weird episode i feel like everybody forgets it exists?? teddy linda and bob's subplot is a little gross but the story about the woman and her dead boyfriend who she tries to summon every halloween like GIRL WHAT???? idk its such a weird sad pathetic episode im kind of obsessed with it. how did they even come up w/ that one and why was it a 70s halloween party. many questions)

teen-a-witch (WE GOT MR AMBROSE IN THIS EPISODE HELL YEAH‼️‼️ other than that not very memorable but louise and gene's relationship w/ tina in this episode was very sweet they're great siblings But also they did use her magic to cheat on their homework and get free tater tots at school.....)

nightmare on ocean avenue street (not a bad episode i just forget it exists sometimes LOL but teddy's extremely gay subplot with the handyman was hilarious and the kids were cute too. easy episode to rewatch around halloween without it being too freaky)

the wolf of wharf street (THIS EPISODE IS SO??? love teddy's sexy nurse costume and kinda's cher costume?? gene is my favorite fruity boy. there are some good jokes but otherwise not an episode i think abt too often)

full bars (gun to my head i couldnt tell you a SINGLE thing about this episode i haven't ever rewatched it so it feels almost unfair putting it on this list bcuz i don't remember much?? they went to king's head island and bob accidentally killed teddy's pet rodent or smth. probably not a bad episode and i believe this was the first introduction of king's head island which eventually gave us sasha and ducan so of course i can't hate it)

pig trouble in little tina (this episode is so WEIRD like not bad and i think the hayride is kinda cute but the dead pig corpse.... god that fucking corpse haunts me)

fort night (dont like millie in this episode AT ALL and don't like how they almost die and nobody gives a fuck. don't like bob and linda in this episode who don't care that their kids never came home for their costume and get passive aggressive about it when they were KIDNAPPED???? don't like millie in general and this was her first appearance. but i think their box fort was pretty cute and i would like to see it again, plus all the neighborhood kids hanging out together was fun)

MOTHERS DAY EPISODES

amelia (IT TECHNICALLY COUNTS OKAY IT WAS AIRED AS A MOTHERS DAY EPISODE anyway maybe one of my favorite episodes of the entire series so heartfelt and beautiful. louise's presentation + exploration of cultural misogyny + the ending song make this episode an absolute killer and an amazing season finale)

sauce side story (it was a tough call between this and mo mommy mo problems but i LOVED learning more about linda's family history and gayle was so great in this episode. still obsessed with gayle pretending to be their mom its so funny this episode is so good)

mo mommy mo problems (cute episode!!! for some reason i really appreciate the detail of the snack bar inside the ferry in this episode and the seating area bcuz i have taken MANY many ferries and boats in my life and i rarely see that aspect of island culture represented in media?? very unhinged ending with the squirrel blood SHE PEELS THEM LIKE FRUIT ROLL UPS but overall a sweet episode every character is so likeable and fun!!!! also just a hilarious episode tbh)

mom, lies and videotape (fun episode!! not really too much to say about it bcuz it was another three stories type episode but the kids were very cute and i loved gene's REAL performance where he was out of synch for literally every line of that song. god bless America. also louise's fictional play was very fun you can tell how much they all love and respect linda <3)

tell me dumb good thing (not a bad episode but the main storyline was pretty boring so i dont think about it too often. LOVED bob's subplot with the fucking internet cucumber however this might be one of my favorite subplots in the entire show they gave him such a big win. he loved that cucumber so much AND THE CUCUMBER GUY LET HIM INTO THE BASEMENT??? TEDDY TOO???? it makes me cry its so wholesome and sweet. also appreciate the clever way that they connect bob and linda's storylines in the end)

THANKSGIVING EPISODES

dawn of the peck (this episode is actually tied w/ stuck in the kitchen with you BUT i decided to put it in first place bcuz i think i maybe enjoy rewatching it like 0.5% more. every line of this episode is comedic gold like easily one of the funniest episode of the show if not the actual funniest it should have a higher rating than it does on IMDB. i dont care how high its rated it should be higher!!!! also rudy my beloved)

stuck in the kitchen with you (i dont expect this episode to be ANYBODY ELSES favorite but for me its such a wholesome and fun episode to rewatch and pretty funny too. bob and louise's relationship is great. the parade the kids throw with zeke's help is so funny. linda's subplot with sargent bosco is HILARIOUS and bob telling louise "i was being too much of a cook and not enough of a dad" is something i think he could stand to say more often in thanksgiving episodes. but also he's autistic and i understand)

i bob your pardon (very fun heist episode?? louise running out to protect the turkey from the ACTUAL WOLVES and bob saying that he'll save the next turkey from wolves gets me everytime. this episode is honestly just fun and silly its a great time)

turkey in a can (maybe this episode should be higher?? its SO FUNNY and also confirms bisexual bob is real. wholesome ending and i love that bob invited teddy and mort over for thanksgiving dinner along with gayle <3 they're his family)

thanks-hoarding (teddy focused episode :) loved finding out more about his family and relationship with them and learning a bit more about his mental interior and how he copes with stress and childhood trauma. very fun episode to rewatch)

putts-giving (ACTUALLY I REALLY ENJOYED THIS EPISODE louise and tina's relationship is always interesting to explore esp as tina grows older and matures/leaves her siblings behind. loved the mini golf setting and i would like to see it again someday but i think they got a lifetime ban.... from the mini golf course......)

an indecent thanksgiving proposal (absolutely unhinged episode?? any episode w/ fischoeder is great and i love drunk bob mourning his turkey friend even if his jealousy of the kids and linda kinda makes me sad <\3 HE LOVES BEING LINDAS WIFE HE LOVES BEING THE KIDS DAD OKAY HE DOESNT WANT IT TO BE ANYBODY ELSE and linda saying at the end of the episode that she doesn't want to be anybody else's wife not even for pretend is very sweet)

gayle makin' bob sled (this episode is very interesting and i love gayle's relationship with bob in it. also linda and the kids trying to cook thanksgiving dinner without him is SO FUNNY like gene and louise especially oh my god. "maybe its a good thing if your family annoys you sometimes because.... it means you have one" 😭😭)

the quirk-ducers (this episode is CRAZY but also very funny. louise spraying dead animals guts and blood all over the play's audience was deeply unhinged as was them publically performing tina's erotic friend fiction as a play to their families and teachers. amazing song which im assuming gene wrote)

now we're not cooking with gas (bob was just SLIGHTLY too crazy in this episode and i feel bad that he couldn't cook his special turkey :( but the kids getting the giant log from the park and almost killing somebody always gets me like?? WE ALMOST DIED AND MAYBE KILLED OTHER PEOPLE BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT WE GOT THE LOG bob needs more wins in thanksgiving episodes i think)

diarrhea of a poppy kid (this episode is really sweet tbh!!! louise and tina comforting gene when he's sick by telling him stories and him being holed up in the bathroom playing with makeup and writing a thanksgiving song which was of course very catchy. him and bob were also adorable in this episode and i love bob saying that he loves to cook for gene!!!! <3 they're both so supportive very cute episodes but the stories they tell are not very memoriable tbh)

CHRISTMAS EPISODES

the plight before christmas (this is such an obvious choice but it really is an amazing episode there's a reason its the highest rated episode of the show!!!! its so incredibly sweet and loving with really solid pacing and jokes throughout the episode and gene's musical ability saving the day without being turned into a joke. obviously tina and louise's relationship in this episode too. and i see my sister with something that looks like gingerbread on her glasses 😭😭💕 louise's poem GETS me every single time. also weirdly helpful birds eye view of seymour's bay at the end

father of the bob (INTRODUCTION OF BIG BOB!!!! honestly this episode is just very cute and interesting love analyzing the dynamic between bob and his dad.... it almost seems like big bob likes linda more than he likes bob. cute ending and i always like learning more abt bob's family so this episode is a 10/10 from me)

yachty or nice (THIS EPISODE WAS SOOO CUTE jimmy pesto and bob actually having a bonding moment and the kids subplot with teddy 😭😭💕💕💔 love that they call him their uncle father santa teddy and that he knew in the end they would do the right thing bcuz they're good kids so he saved a special toy for them. he loves those kids so much. jimmy pesto redemption arc could be real if we believe)

the bleakening (this episode was very fun!!! AMAZING songs and i really enjoyed the ending with the gay christmas party and everybody dancing together. some very funny jokes in there too and i just love the creepy vibes of the kids sneaking out of the house and tina being smart enough to bring the emergency phone along w/ them. genuinely a great two parter episode)

god rest ye merry gentle mannequins (THIS EPISODE IS SO???? still dont know what was going on with the crazy mannequin guy but i honestly think its sweet that lily's brother let him live there for free for so many years even when he didnt really need to. also i believe the first time bob's mom is mentioned in the series??? idk this episode is really fun and i love all the different holiday displays they do)

have yourself a maily linda christmas (nothing too interesting to say abt this episode its just silly and fun!!! linda episode!!!! also something about tina and bob trying to entertain the grandparents and keep the peace while everybody else is gone is SO funny theyre the worst at talking to people. the ending with louise gene and tina was adorable too)

nice-capades (honestly its been a minute since i rewatched this episode but from what i remember it was very sweet and silly. LOVE how many random adults were willing to drop everything to help these kids put on an ice shaking performance for santa. also louise being worried that she isn't a good person. gene giving rudy the last taco just because he Cares about him and wanted them to be happy. this episode was cute and they really are such good kids)

better off sled (I ALWAYS FORGET THIS WAS A CHRISTMAS EPISODE because the main plot doesn't have anything to do with christmas it feels like the die hard debate of bob's burgers holiday episodes.... either way bob and linda knitting scarves for the kids was cute and i liked the snowball fight subplot. very sweet and simple episode)

the last gingerbread house on the left (fun episode?? there are some funny jokes and i liked seeing linda and teddy go singing together w/ the kids while bob is tormented and experiences the horrors of gingerbread houses. lily mention!!! noticing that christmas episodes tend to be the episodes where bob's family gets brought up the most i wonder why that is???? absolutely unhinged gingerbread house competition btw but they should let felix join them :(

christmas in the car (i remember this episode being SO STRESSFUL like he tried to kill that family Good god. teddy was very funny in thjs episode and i did enjoy it otherwise)

gene's christmas break (i feel bad putting this episode in last place bcuz I LOVE GENE but it wasn't that interesting an episode tbh 😭 i did like getting to see younger gene even with his terrible autotuned chipmunk voice and seeing how he uses music to relate to his family. we need another gene-focused christmas episode at some point they flew too close to the sun here)

ONE-TIME-ONLY HOLIDAY EPISODES

what an (april) fool believes (AMAZING EPISODE proably one of my favorite episodes of the entire show tbh. bob and fischoeder are so funny + homoerotic and gene not wanting to scare or upset anybody by pranking them is so cute <3 my baby)

eggs for days (the one and only easter episode!!! honestly this episode is really fun overall just a great time. love bob and linda being Extremely Hungover and the rotting egg and the raccoons.... they need to bring back easter episodes tbh there could be something there)

flat-top o' the morning to ya (this episode is so weird bcuz in order to make it a saint patrick's day episode the description and promo has NO MENTION of the main plot of this episode and only focuses on teddy and linda's subplot for some reason?? which makes it extremely hard to find the main plot of this episode if you dont remember the subplot despite it being Literally the focus. but other than that honestly i think its very funny and bob's story with the kids is sooo..... me when i accidentally rope my kids into committing Grand Theft Auto w/ me. sad that bob never got his discounted plates that man deeply needs a win)

[badsalmonella]

Media I tolerated for the 2023 cast of Camelot

I'm documenting these reviews for SCIENCE.

Ground rules: 1. I had to have watched this SPECIFICALLY for no reason other than a Camelot actor. Meaning no Phillipa's many great works aren't here. I just watched Hamilton because it was well made not specifically for her. (but like she WAS THERE and she ate it up so BONUS!) 2. I'm doing the bad ones for comedic purposes so I won't talk about Spain but like just know. I don't tolerate Spain. I. LOVE. SPAIN. Spain would blow all these entries out of the water. Don't just seek out Spain for the Danny Wolohan+ Andrew Burnap of it all frfr like it's just gOOD.😭

Under the Banner of Heaven

Verdict: ??/10

Definitely the most ""refined and pristine"" of the bunch I am about to talk about, I acknowledge this. But it turns out I didn't care about mormons when I saw Book of Mormon back in the day and went "eh." and I STILL DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM NOW. I unfortunately was not strong enough to finish this show. The first two episodes barely had Andrew Burnap and it was hard to continue knowing that there was some unsavvvvourrryyyy content waiting ahead of me. I'm always torn when talking about shows like this like what do you do when you know it's technically more competent but alsooo....it's more boring to you?

My whore levels: -ˏ͛⑅❒⌧⌧??/10

Someone (you know who you are) sent me this UNHINGED review for the show

and I went 'haha that's insane. that won't be me'. bad news folks.....it maybe might have been me. BUT ALSOOO all that progress would IMMEDIATELY undo because then the camera would zoom out and I'd be like 'ohhh.... oh no he does fit right in with these unsettling caucasians.... :/ Yeahh.............but then I'd see him in that blouuuuseeeee with that funky lil perrmmmm. 👀👀👀👀 all this to say. I am conflicted. I am confused. I am unwell. I want...a perm and a blouse?????

Broken Hearts Gallery

Verdict: 5/10

It's fine. It was alright. I'm not really a romantic comedy movie person so like I'm not the target audience but I mean this movie is doing what it says on the tin. Ya know? It's fine. Didn't offend me. Did what it had to do. Made me wish I was living an art life in New York City and Bernadette Peters was my boss.

My Whore Levels: 9/10

Honestly I love the glasses on Phillipa Soo, they got her in some fun outfits. I love the quirked up weirdo lesbian vibes. I love how she collects girlfriends like accessories. I would watch a movie about this character. Can I have a sequel??? There's a scene where she is mercilessly chopping a cucumber with a very sharp knife, it turns out my type is Phillipa Soo threatening murder I refuse to unpack that :)

One True Loves

Verdict: 0.5/10

Actually AWFUL. Like in a it barely feels like a movie kind of way. It's like it was made by someone they plucked off the street. Like the qualifications were 'have you seen a movie before???? okay cool then you can make one'. The worst editing I have seen in a movie in a long time. Holy shit. This movie costs 2$ LOOK AT THAT MOVIE POSTER!!!! If this were some random amazon prime movie with a bunch of nobodies I would understand BUT PHILLIPA SOO WAS IN THIS. THIS IS WHAT SIMU LIU ASKED TO BE IN AFTER DOING THE MCU. (not a joke)THE AUTHOR OF THE 7 HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO WROTE THE SCRIPT???? PHILLIPA PRODUCED THIS FILMMMMM. GIRLIE NOOOOOO💀💀💀 Also MASSIVE tonal problem. This movie is still sticking with me. Like I am GOOPED this was made. THIS APPARENTLY HAD A THEATRICAL RUN? and I know I said this before but HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE BUZZFEED MAKES MOVIESSSSSS

My Whore levels: 2/10

They did my girl so dirty. This whole movie has the aesthetic of a high schooler's first photoshop project being a mood board inspired by a Taylor Swift song but all they use is the first 5 images you find on google search when you type in 'fall' and 'latte'. This movie told me "salt is spicy :(((" This is like if you could turn a cursive live, laugh, love sign into a look of a whole movie. They are dressing Phillipa Soo up like the most interesting thing she has to put on her dating profile is "I like reading :)". Two points though because for exactly one brief scene she was shoulder out, hair swooped dramatically and I whispered "slay".

Charmed (2018)

Verdict: 3/10

My worstie. My bestie. The beginning of the end. The moment that cemented that my bar was low. Honestly this would have been far and away the worst thing I watched for a Camelot cast member but One True Loves swooped in last minute and took home the gold(?) for being even more incompetent and even cheaper. I honestly have way too much to say about it though, which is proof that I somehow got emotionally invested. I'm convinced they had some sort of business deal struck with the Zara brand because everyone dresses like a business casual 35 year old woman on her way to the office (NO MATTER WHAT THEIR PERSONALITY IS THEY ALL DRESS LIKE THIS.) They must be getting awful direction or something because nooobody is doing a good job in the acting department (I'm typing this through tears. I'm choking and sobbing as I confess this to you all). There's DEFINITELYYYY a colourism problem. The show does NOT know how to utilize it's fun setting seriously for a show with witches you'd be SHOCKED how little magic is used in this show. THERE'S SO LITTLE WHIMSY!! and yet............I found myself bewitched (I'm sorry) by the show. I have given episodes rewatches. I have literally fallen to the floor, on all fours, WHEEZING, watching the bad credit card product placement in one of the episodes. My friend and I got to the episode where they say 'The curse is lifted! :) But the struggle continues' (the struggle....IS RACISM!!!) and our jaws DROPPED. A character projectile vomited on a man and he EXPLODED and all that were left were his boots in a smoking pile. It sucks but in a way I can't look away from. I wish there were ungodly amounts of seasons of this show. I wish Jordan Donica was trapped in a 13 season cycle of being this show's damsel in distress (no actually no I don't)

My Whore levels: I cannot share this number publicly💀/10

I'm not proud of the person I become when Jordan Donica is on screen in this show. YES they mostly dress him boring grey hoodies and jeans. YES He spends a whole season with his hair in the sad in between mid length stage that nobody likes being in (I stand in solidarity as a person who also likes keeping her hair short when it gets too long it's not great but it's part of the human experience) but damn dude that ain't stopping him from SERVING NORMIE CORE CUNT!!!!! Also because this relationship with me and Charmed is toxic every once in a while they would throw me the most delicious bone. Various suits in funky colours and long hair, ohhhh a bowler hat!!! The episode where he puts on a Shien punk leather outfit!! It's the small things, ya know? :) <333

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S, I can't take this anymore, I cannot believe people don't talk about this Chris: https://www.tumblr.com/ashilesun/616306787311828992/chris-evans-defending-jacob-103 (the first gif specifically) with this Sebastian: https://images.app.goo.gl/wWuhE12gm6k6JMrv6. The idea of this fucking version of them has been eating me from the inside for more than a year, and I still don't see anyone coming up with this. And okay, it's a bit too vanilla but that's what's soo hot about this pairing in my head. No kinky stuff involved. Just a newly, happily married couple -who make me feel like throwing my phone at the wall sometimes, because I can't TAKE IT,- Andy Barber Chris is so fucking dreamy, and then that Sebastian as his husband? Oh my lord. And I imagine it as an AU (no shit) where Chris's overall attitude and personality is just Andy (without the pain) and Sebastian is some theoretical physicist, or some badass engineer (I dare you to laugh) or something, the soft spoken polite yet professional sweetheart. A lawyer and a scientist. Married. Looking like this. And I know, it's silly and all but that's my thing, alright? think about it. Oh and their KID would grow up so sophisticated, educated and cultured, but I won't embarrass myself more than I already have for now, thank you very much.

Ugh it's finally off my chest. Thank you so much for reading this rambling of mine, I couldn't keep it in anymore.

(Ps: You can totally ignore this, it's completely fine by me!😂)

related, first, to Chris as Andy in Defending Jacob 1.03

related, second, to Sebastian at the Hugo Boss Party for I, Tonya

Aw, baby! We do lots of kinky stuff here (mostly because... that's me, I'm very much kinky, lmao), but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate vanilla stuff, too! There's nothing wrong with vanilla sex. Not at all!

And I love this! It's so cute, it actually reminds me of this fic that is an AU of everyday, non-celebrity evanstan:

"If I know what love is (it is because of you)" by hellobeautworld

Overall, this is adorable. I can only imagine how happy and stable and cute they would be. Thank you for sharing! <3

[hugogetspowerbottomed]

Hugo ruining Varian's lipstick by kissing him aggressively

I love the idea of Hugo wearing makeup but what about Varian doing it and Hugo getting soo turned on by this

i dont even have to feminize varian anymore bc hugo will do it for me <3

NO OKAY but the two of them sloppily making out and afterwards varian looks at himself in the mirror and his makeup is absolutely wrecked and it makes him feel a certain way

[marauderjojo]

Chapter 5

“But that, a tiny beard, and the smell of mint were the only things he really remembered of Lieutenant Collins, who had died some 20 years ago, when Leo was 10 years old.

That was still a more comfortable thing to think about than being alone with an attractive woman who was wearing his shirt and letting him touch her hair.

‘Attractive, is she?’ Caroline sounded smug again.“

Jill Bearup- Just Stab Me Now

It’s happening! Leo is soo cute honestly.

“ ‘You’re not even tempted to look?‘ Caroline inquired sweetly. Leo swallowed. ‘Please don’t ask me that”

These little moment of Leo being a gentlemen are honestly some of my fav things so far. Phenomenal male character!

“Caroline was suddenly worried that her character was going to cry. But instead, Rosamund continued, a little shakily: ‘ no. It’s not the same. But that’s not important right now. Just like it wasn’t important to send me on this mission with an adequate number of guards. Please, just let the man fix my hair in peace.’

‘But-‘

‘Leave me alone, Caroline.’

The fact that Caroline listens is a big deal!

“A ring hung from the necklace, just above her heart, a ring too big for any of Rosamund’s fingers, but the right size for a man.

Leo turned away.“

This feels like such an important moment when Leo is properly realizing just how important her husband was and still is.

Also getting to hear her back story with her husband Hugo like how they met not long after this was really cute! Was such a simple and adorable meet cute.

[nerdy-prude]

Curently reading "The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo" Soo, ‼️spoilers‼️ for that :)

I just read this Page and let me tell you-

It's the validation, the representation, the sass and explaining why It's important to not just asume-

I went from screming "I knew it" only to keep reading a few more lines and go "No, please don't just use the word 'gay' when she spesifically said she loved Don" only to read then next line and go: "I love this book"

Man, this book has me screaming, crying, throwing up.

[tamorisana]

Ponche..?

Pairing :Aledolfo, Gaz/Alex (background), Pre- Ghost/Roach/Soap??? like they definitely caught feelings but don't know how to be about it so they dance around

Tags :Omegaverse, but Omegas aren't weak, small and fragile like glass, Christmas preparations?, they are all a little(not) bit gay.

Trigger warning :Talks about abortion, threatening with self harm, manipulation, people going missing (?). Please be careful and I advise you to not read if you are sensitive to these topics.

Note :Please I don't know anything about Christmas, everything in here is from reading other fanfictions. Do not berate me so hard for this.

Word count :3k.

@brokenjardaantech Simping hard for their OC Major Rene. I literally cannot simping. Thank you so much. Go check them out. From where Major René is.

For @thefuckisaid. This took longer than expected... nonetheless I hold this in my shaking hands so gently, reaching, offering it to you. Thank you for prompt.

Another note :When we speak of scents, we actually talk about hints of all of those aromas, such as peaches, coffee, tea and etc., it isn't your absolute scent but, sometimes, it becomes more vibrant/brighter.

[——————————————————————————]

Usually, Soaps Christmas consists of fun, family, and a warm home. The focus word is usually. This year, however, is different. Fundamentally different.

With family issues rising and going down, bubbling like a pot of soup and he was not ready to face them. Too much painful and cold words were said and unspeakable things were made which resulted in him refusing to celebrate back home.

Soo… He is in Mexico. With Los Vaqueros and some of the 1-4-1 members, Ghost and Gaz joined by still recovering Alex. His first Christmas not in Scotland feels like home too.

Right now he makes sure to be prepared for the little party they decided to have at the slowly rebuilt base. Yes, it's nowhere near done but this place was basically grounded. So for now he makes sure goods in the oven wouldn't burn to a crisp and ponche. Yes, Soaps the best ponche.

Soap is the best at making one. He can master you any type: We have a corporation-owned party? There is your ponche with almost no alcohol. Is it a team bonding time? Here comes the skill. It's almost terrifying how good they are and no one knows how he gets all of those proportions to always combine so perfectly but it's a fact. A well-known one too.

Everything is nearly done and no one bothered him about being a little bit late. You can imagine how hard it is to find an open shop on Christmas eve, but hey! No one told him they were out of butter and sugar. He could have brought a bowl of drink to the table but oh well. Still, he needs to check on those bastards, what if they already got drunk without him!

.

.

As he stood in the doorway, looking around. A warm feeling bloomed inside. Alejandro and Hugo, the pilot who helped them take the base back, were having a chat, Ghost, and Roach arguing about something in ASL, Gaz and Alex sitting, petting their dog Lucy. There are some of Alejandro's men who don't have a family back home so they were invited to join the party. The only one missing is Rodolfo.

He left for home, very early in the morning, to get some clothes and things. He was injured on the last mission together on Soap which resulted in him dirtying the last clear hoodie. Do you know how hard it is to wash away dry blood? All of his thighs were bloodied: shirts, pants, hoodies. Alejandro had to give him at least something to go out in.

There are many aromas in the room:

Guava and cinnamon from Alejandro. It can get pretty heavy in a stressful situation. It changes and fuses with something occasionally but it is so-so dull that no one can catch a glimpse of what it is. Despite this fact, it's a pleasing one.

Kyle's changed, before it was just vibrant ginger, vibrant to the point of needing to take the stronger blockers, but now it was slowly mixing with honey, not strong enough to be noticeable if you don't know before right now but explains how Alex is always around. Johnny swears, Garrick would be madly scented by the man if they weren't in public, he probably is behind closed doors.

Alex's is way lighter than Ale's, lemon mixed with lime. It makes an interesting combination with Gaz's. Like a drink, his mother made when he was a pup: hot water, a slice of lemon and ginger, and honey. God, how much he loves drinking it during cold nights.

Simon's and Gary's are kind of mixed. Not mixed like Kyles is but more like a combination. Freshly baked Japanese milk bread with slightly bitter gooseberry jam. It's a wonderful jam of fragrances.

Rudy's aroma is a Mexican Hawthorne with a hint of sorrowful apple. It's an interesting one, not something you smell every day. Like in Alejo's case, it changes, incorporates more than changes, with something else.

And then there is Major René's. Caramel is nicely hidden by the powerful sting of coffee. It makes a good combination with Captain Blanco's Técula Mécula. The thing you what to be wrapped by in the early hours of the morning. Soap is even jealous of Vaqeros who have the pleasure of this aroma every single morn.

There are some others but he doesn't really feel them from that far away. You can add the smell of food on top of all of

His scent, flavourful tea with honey, is probably shoving, a little.

"Hermano, you alright? Everything good? Need help with trays?" Oh. He probably stood there for way too long and Ale' noticed him, smiling softly, he didn't even catch the moment when he started.

"Oh, I might need some help with the trays. You know, I can't lift it with my hand" He does need help with it, stupid metal and dough on it are too darn heavy. It's not why he came here but now that it was said. He got his arm strained.

As they step into the kitchenette a pleasant smell of baked shortbreads hits them. They are right on time. As Alejandro takes metal out of the stove they hear the car door closing from outside, pretty aggressively if you ask him.

Rodolfo's home.

Therefore he finishes with the dish as fast as he can, missing Soap's worried look, getting close to the entrance where the aroma of funky apples practically kicks him in the gut so violently like a cartel narco sometime ago. Oh God, he almost feels sorry for whoever put Rudy in such state. Distressed, angry, bitter, sad, he could feel that on his tongue.

What the fuck happened?

What possibly could you do to piss off his calm, collected, not-so-easily angered Rudy?

In the meantime, Soap finishes decorating cookies which is essentially just putting leftover powdered sugar on top and, from the bottom of his heart, trying to bring this huge plate to the table without causing himself any pain. He almost succeeds in it but Simon is way too quick to react, so just as Johnny makes his way into the room his plate is snatched from him immediately and he is treated with the "My god, we can't leave you for 5 minutes 'cuz you'll try to injure yourself. Again. Just let me handle those things, dear" look.

Roach was silently shaking in laughter through the whole scene, watching as Soap's face changed from confused to annoyed, pouting he turns around on his heels, muttering "Cearc mhàthair*" leaving the room. Ghost looks back at Gary, who at this point was dying of laughter, with a puzzled, lost look probably thinking Scotsman cursed him or something.

A quiet, softly spoken "Go help him" snaked through the room to him. So softly murmured, it sounded unreal, like an angel's voice, smooth and flowy. It gently bloomed in Simon's head like spring flowers in the warm sunbath after cold winter. What? Don't get him wrong. He loves, adores, and cherishes when bug speaks to him but it is the first time he did so around others.

He wishes to see bewildered looks on

"My god, I wish we could see your face. It's hilarious" laughter escapes from Gary. Dear stars, does he falls in love with it. Simon is ready to fall in love with the whole Gary, not just his laugh, again and again. Every single day bathe in his love, gentle strokes on his face, the way those eyes look at him with such genuine adoration, devotion and affection it makes Ghost's mask crack.

Just like Soap.

No, not Soap.

John.

Johnny.

He hates the way man just completes him. Them. Both of them. He fits here so nicely: Gary being the moon, Simon stars, and Johnny is their sun. Everything lines up perfectly. Even by the goddamned olive theory. He hates them with all his heart but both of them love, sometimes to the point of only eating olives all day. Yes, he is this precious piece they were missing, lacking, carving.

Suddenly Roach is right before his eyes, snapping fingers before Ghost's face "Earth to Ghost, you there? C'mon, I'm sure Soap will appreciate some help" is quietly stated while the shorter man tries to move him closer to the entrance "Simon, quit staring into the void, go help him before he accidentally kills himself or spills everything on the floor"

Not a command still he will accommodate.

He wants to.

As Ghost maneuvers to kitchen, spoting Rodolfo and Alejandro standing together at far end of corridor just before entrance, discussing something, right as he came through the door frame. Silently, as to not disturb whatever conversation they had, he steps into the kitchenette.

"What happened, Cariño?" Ale' murmured, placing pecks against his lover's neck and scent glands as he carefully wraps himself around the other, holding tightly trying to comfort as well as warm him, Rudy's incredibly cold to touch. Either from cold weather outside or... something is wrong with Rudy's body.

The last thought made Alejandro shiver.

"Everything is alright." the answer is cold and rough, the absolute opposite of what his sugar-sweet husband is. In an attempt to soothe and turn his attention away from whatever is causing or caused such a change, he kisses man's scruff, nuzzling just above sensitive glands. Ale' didn't push knowing eventually Rodolfo will tell him, later or sooner, so he just continued leaving almost intangible kisses as well as rubbing circles on the other's stomach and sides.

"She was there. On our ranch. In our home. And we had no fucking idea. There aren't even any buildings or shelter of any kind, she lived in a goddamn van on YOUR property. She had a fucking audacity to whine about how there is nowhere FOR HER TO LIVE---" Rudy stops himself before anger takes over again, takes a deep breath afore going on saying one sinful name Alejo' hoped he wouldn't have to hear at least for a day.

"Carmen."

No, please. Just one day without this bitch. Is this too much to ask for?

Pause.

Carmen was where?!

The thought caught up to him, flooding him like tsunami. Their sister-in-law, who is a fucking bitch, is on his family's estate. On his ranch or what's left of it anyway. With her stupid grin, scent, and attitude, God, How could Rodrigo, for the life of one, love and marry her? HER. Out of all people.

This bitchy, absolutely self-centered woman, he doesn't even want to call her that, woman should be a goddamned title for her, because... Women are different: strong mentally or physically, shorter, taller, sweet or really stir and cold, and a whole lot more but she... she is a fucking slime, willing to step on other's feet to get what she wants, she doesn't deserve this name, title. God, he hates her.

'Get yourself together ' a voice flashes by Ale's mind and it's right. He would make it worse if he doesn't shut himself up. Which is relatively easy with Rudy's scent right here. "That bitch" still escapes his mouth, muffled by hands shuffling through a grey hoodie, Rodolfo's favourite, to get under it. As he did, his left palm on his amor's chest, right one on the lower abdomen, putting on a comforting weight.

"You called the police and got her evicted, right?" he tries to keep his voice as cool as he can. "Did father call you?"

"I did and they cannot arrest her since she is, you know, carrying a child.." Rodolfo throws his head on Ale's shoulder as well as letting his scent blend with guava and cinnamon creating an absolutely new odor. That reminds Alejo' of the fragrance he had the pleasure of tasting earlier in the kitchen.

Ponche.

This pleasant aroma warps around them like a huge, warm, weighted blanket. They never let themselves do this at work, only on their weekends at the temporary flat they were given as compensation for the grounded ranch, not what they were told but you could read it in between the higher-ups speech.

"Dad did call and... you know how that usually goes, this time no different." he sights, and you can almost hear the pain behind those words. This man is a victim of Carmen's manipulation, she used different way to turn him against his sons. It worked. An another reason to hate Carmen. Alejandro carefully, which isn't like him at all, started "She isn't able to take care of that kid, she thinks we will just give her the money and leave. Maybe..." he scoffed thinking of how to put the thought into words.

"Maybe..?" encourages shorter " 'Cmon, Ale', finish" he almost fully relaxes, puts his cold hands over Ale's warm ones, and waits for other to continue.

"Maybe we can strike a deal with Carmen and once the kid is born we take it under our wing. I mean. It's Rodrigo's child and you are their uncle, even if we have to sue her for parental rights, Court would see how crappy her life is right now—" he was rudely interrupted by a squish of his hand and "She wants to put it up for adoption."

Alejandro's face drops at those words but before he can question such judgment Rodolfo continues "She won't go for that deal and we both know it. She mentioned during the fight today that if we don't give her what she wants she will do something to herself, abort the kit even if she is 5 months along, and if THAT won't work she will put it for adoption" he stops for a second to breathe in some air and continues sounding more bitter, almost crying.

"She doesn't care that this kit probably is the only thing we have left from Rody...Fuck! It's been 4 months since his disappearance, he is probably fucking dead already and this bitch acts so fucking entitled to everything but not once, not fucking once, she asked about him. Or how is the search going."

Angry tears are building up, his voice becomes shakier and quieter "Everyone expects me to just close my eyes on that fact, to forget about my brother, and focus on her and her goddamn litter if something happens to me would everyone act the same way? Is Rodrigo not important enough to at least ask and remember about but that motherfucking slime is?!"

Rodolfo stops, sobbing and mumbling something he cannot hear, and violently shakes in his arms. Alejandro's heart dropped at two things. How Rody's kit is used as a weapon to manipulate them and how heartbroken and tired his husband is.

It all started with Rodrigo, Rudy's older brother, going on a mission with Major René, his third-in-command, as a sniper. Just to cover them. Just to ensure informant won't get them into a trap and ambush them. Which wasn't the case but at some point in the commission there was "A loud thud" followed by silence on Rodrigo's side. They turned Las Almas upside down searching for him, it was as intense as worthless. No trace, not a single piece of information, there is absolutely nothing.

And then there is Carmen. And if with everything above, you didn't understand what he fills towards his sister-in-law, which he refuses to believe, Alejandro despises her guts to bits. For this bitchy behaviour, for using Rudy's unborn nephew to manipulate both of them, for using his omega nature to use against, again both of them, by saying how she has no money or roof above her head, which is a lie. She has governmental support and two, not one but two, flats to live in. One being Rody's that should've gone to his husband but they will not pull that string until they either get the custody of a kit or she is able to work to afford a place to live in.

He likes the first scenario better.

"Then we go to child support or whatever instans and we sue her for parental rights." Alejandro began speaking, his voice low and deep now, he smushes his face into shorters collar. "It all gonna be alright, I promise you. No one expects anything of you, I don't expect anything and I'm sure Rodrigo would be very pleased and proud of all and any decision you make because you always try to make the best ones." He looks up, kisses his cheek and purrs loud enough for only Rodolfo to hear. "Don't let her get under your skin." he feels how cold hand squeezes his own.

"You need to rest, forget her for this weekend, if you continue to do that to yourself, overwork, overthink everything, not eating properly we will repeat 2017 and we don't want that, do we?" Of course not. The image of him so smol and fragile against hospital bed, exhausted, dehydrated and hooked to an IV still hunts Ale' in the nightmares.

"We don't..."

"Exactly. Mi alma, just for this holiday please, I'll get on my knees and beg if It'll mean you take a proper rest. Looking at you sometimes I get so worried that I'm missing the red flags of you putting yourself on edge." Alejandro bitterly sights while Rudy spins around and holds his mate.

"Please talk to me if it's all overwhelming and you need a distraction. I'm always, always here for you. I've always been. Always will. I share this pain with you and it breaks my heart you are my heart to know what a shitty person gonna have Rody's kit but please, and I mean it, don't let it become the only important thing in your life."

"I'm sorry, my darling, it all consumed me so badly. I'm sorry for making you so worried it isn't good for you and.." a cold hand appears on his stomach, slightly rubbing. Rudy nuzzles closer to his shoulder.

"It's alright, it's alright, my heart" a pleasant, almost silent settles in the whole corridor, somewhere far away you can hear laughter, talking and men cheering.

"C'mon, I think Ghost will help Soap with bringing heavy stuff to the table." Alejandro leans away, still close enough for their foreheads to touch, looking into the most beautiful, in his opinion, eyes. Hands laying at the back of the man's scuff. It's unclear who started leaving peaks on whose face but they didn't return to the main hall until everything, both shortbreads and bowls of ponche.

[——————————————————————————]

I didn't beta anything. I will but later. This took way too long than it was supposed too.

Did you notice that Ghost/Roach/Soap scents make a good breakfast?? That's my favourite one too.

We all know why Kyle's scent changing, don't we?

[just-an-enby-lemon]

[I have a silly idea of Batman recruiting Crane when he was still a professor because Crane was the best on his field and he needed psychiatric knowledge to help with a particular rought case. Scarecrow is already a criminal but no one knows who he is]

Jonathan: Can't I at least go back to my office and check if it's locked? I let my computer logged at all times and a student may use it to change their grade.

*Bruce sends him a look*

Jonathan: What? It happens. I was on lockup so Jeremiah could change his grade on former professor Strange's old computer multiple times. Now I always told him "why take a class on criminal psychology if you have such a weak stomach for Hugo work tales, Miah" and he would go "well my family has this Asylum" and our grades came and his was down and he was soo scared of disapointing his family. It's one of my favorite memories really. So lil old Alyce god bless her soul saw Miah crying and me failing to confort him and she always had a soft spot for Miah so she said "you know I heard that Strange never locks his door and his computer is always logged on" and at first Miah wouldn't do it, he was afraid of getting caught, fear is a very strong motivator, but you already know that, don't you, Batman? Stricking fear on the hearth of the criminals. Anyway, the best way to fight fear it appeared was with more fear as being remembered of the fear of disapoiting his old man was all it took to overcome his fear of Strange's ire. Long story short Miah decided to go. I of course offered to help and he was "you will? But your grades are good?"" and I simply reminded him that his weren't and he was "Thank you, Jon" and we did. We keept doing it the whole semester. I have no idea how Hugo never noticed... What was my point again? Oh yeah, this things happe, Dark Knight, and I pride myself of being a fair teacher. I may have being permissive of cheating as a student but never as a professor, I love Miah but we all known he would be better off teaching or working at the hospital, maybe opening a pratice not in Arkham and he wouldn't be if I didn't help him cheat. I don't want a repetition of that.

Batman: That's certainly a nobble cause, Dr. Crane but I'm afraid-

Jonathan: Afraid! We are all afraid. Now tell me, Crussader what are you afraid off?

Batman: *suspicious* Excuse me?

Jonathan: uh... *internally: dammit Crane that was too obvious* uh... bonding exercise *internally: nice save*

Batman:... Bonding exercise?

Jonathan: Yes, to help inspire trust and calm the body during a stressfull situation. I suppose I started to harshly what about you favorite color?

Batman: I understand that situation might be scary for you but I would preffer if you refrain from bonding activities.

Jonathan: *whispering* social interations make him nervous interesting

Batman: I didn't hear you?

Jonathan: Sorry, I'm a little out of it, I suppose, you are right is merely a bit of fear, it is a rather unusual stiuation. It almost fells like visiting Gotham for the first time all over again.

Batman: I imagine you liked the experience the first time though?

Jonathan: And why is that?

Batman: Because you stayed.

Jonathan: To be honest I find Gotham absolutly terrifying. It's creepy atmosphere, the gothic architeture, the almost permanent fog in the sky, the constant bad weather *raising an eyebrow at Batman* the crime. Gotham is a place where all urban legends are true! There really is poison in the water mains and we truly have crocodiles in the sewers and clowns wanting to kill you.

Batman: Than why stay?

Jonathan: Maybe I just didn't had anywhere to come back to or maybe I just like the fear or maybe and there is the real answer here maybe I just find the people of Gotham truly fascinating. How brave they are in the mist of everything.

Batman: I suppose.

Jonathan: Suppose? *he laughs* Only in Gotham you would find an old lady who would stand up in front of a deranged serial killer like Victor Zsaas and order him to finish his target already cause he was stopping the traffic. Or a kid who face to face with local terrorist Edward Nygma dared him to solve his puzzle. Only in Gotham a man would dress up like a bat to fight crime. We don't have it anywhere else. Certainly not in Georgia! It's inspiring. It makes me wonder what are the gothamites afraid of.

[rhmis-user-2020]

Adira: Quirin. Hector: Long time no seek, old friend. You brought Varian here, aren't you? Quirin, places a hand on Varian's shoulder: My son would like to learn more about you two being my friends. Varian, tilted his head: Who are these people? Quirin: My old friend. Hector: Hey, that's how your son looks. Adira: Have you not seen Varian at all? This is him, Hector. Varian: Soo, you must be my relatives. Adira: I am Adira, and I am your aunt. Varian! And he is Hector who is your uncle. Varian: Oh...It's a pleasure to meet you, aunt and uncle. Hector, pointing at Hugo: And what's that blonde-haired dude doing here? Varian: Oh, that's Hugo. Hector: He looks like he crawled out of garbage. Varian: Don't judge his tastes. Quirin: I think the reason I and Varian brought Hugo with us is that Hugo wouldn't be left out. Hector: I am not sure why you did that but okay. Hugo: I suppose that rhino guy is offensive towards me, like why do you think I crawled out of a garbage. That's how I look! Hector: HEY! STOP SAYING THESE THINGS. Hugo: Said the one who judged me for what I am wearing.

[winterrhayle]

rank red and lover and evermore

ok i should’ve expected this many☠️☠️☠️☠️

red (taylor’s version) this one is so difficult to rank bc its so LONG and tbh ive already changed my mind on the bottom rankings so ignore the numbers oh and im not ranking ronan bc. yeah.

i almost do - i literally could not tell you why but this has been my favourite song from red for a long long time,, probably because i’ve never gotten over anything ever

better man - WHY WASNT THIS ON THE ORIGINAL ALBUM😭😭😭😭😭😭

the moment i knew - AND IT WAS LIKE SLOOOWWW MOTION STANDING THERE IN MY PARTY DRESSS IN REEEEED LIPSTICK QITH NO ONE TO IMPRESS ok this song was always in my top 3 for red but atw10 really elevated it bc of all the references

the very first night - why are the vaults so GOOOD OMG this song is so fun and has such silly energy i love it

forever winter - this song is so devastating but also if i ignore the lyrics the horns make it a bop????

all too well 10 min version - what can i say it’s ALL TOO WELL. AND I WAS NEVER GOOD AT TELLING JOKES BUT THE PUNCHLINE GOES I’LL GET OLDER BUT YOURE LOVERS DTAY MY AGE

nothing new - phoebe bridgers makes me feel things. also i should now find this song and the fear of getting older relatable bc i’m literally ‘the kinda radiance you only have at seventeen’

babe - the sugarland version is good but taylor’s is so much better and i love the added ‘what about your promises promises’ thing

red - WHEN THE DRUMS COME IN OMGGGG ,, oh also random anec dote one time when i was 9 or 10 my teacher asked me for an example of a metaphor so i used one of these lyrics

i bet you think about me - I LOVE COUNTRY TAYLOR AND I LOVE SASSY TAYLOR (aka fearless taylor)

treacherous - that part where shes like 'i'll follow you follow you home' is so funny bc like girl are u a stalker or something😭

state of grace - for some reason i specifically LOVEE sreaming the lyrics 'twin fire signs, four blue eyes' even though i am a pisces with BROWN EYES???? (also this is one of the many rerecordings that sounded better in the og version,,, i only play tv though)

all too well (normal length version) - this one was top 3 before red tv was released but for some reason the new vocals dont hit the same😔i would still consider it to be a perfect song though,, atw is THAT GIRL 13/10

the last time - if u dont try to sing both parts of this and mess up then ur lyyyinnggggg

everything has changed - not 2 be a sheerio (i am NOT ONE) but the ed sheeran x taylor collabs on this album are so cuteeetetete and im obsessed with how the kid actors from this mv were used for joker and the queen mv like a decade later

22 - in 5 years this song will be on REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!AH OHHHHH I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT IM FEELIN TWENNY TWOOOOO

run - this is giving i know places and i loveeeee it 10/10 i love it when she collabs with ed within his musical range (this is a diss to endgame)

come back ... be here - THE BRIDGE. i love pretending that my (non existent) lover has flown allll the way to london soo far away from me (london is an hour drive from my house) and i am BREAKING DOWN BECAUSE MY MAN ISNT HERE (im literally a lesbian)

sad beautiful tragic - ok i dont ever actively search for this song but when it comes on i will listen to the whole thing every time. i think i said this about hoax but this is the type of sadness i craaave

holy ground - the forever & always > better than revenge > last kiss > holy ground > invisible string (that one line about the babies and presents) pipeline is one of my favourite things in the swiftverse ever everrrrr love u joe jonas

i knew you were trouble - remember that goat meme? yeah🥹

the lucky one - whoever said this song is evelyn hugo is so CORRECT.

we are never everrrrrr getting back together - I LOVE THIS SONG BUT SHE BOTCHED IT IN THE 2021 VERSION LMAOOOO RIP (ALSO SHOUT OUT TO THE ROCK VERSION OF THIS <333333)

begin again - this was such a perfect closing song for the standard edition of the album,, it ties off the whole break up album so well and it has her moving on to someone who treats her wife and ahhhhh

starlight - the 'have 10 kids and teach them how to dream' line rly catches me off guard sometimes😭 but i'll allow it

stay stay stay - THE PEOPLE WHO HATE ON THIS SONG DONT GET ITTTT. THE 5 MINUTE CRAFTS MUSIC IS CAMP. YOU CAN PRIZE STAY STAY STAY OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

message in a bottle - this song is so 2012 where was this in the og album😒😒😒😒 it could have been one of the greats with ikywt,wanegbt,22 but whatever (same with the very first night S.M.H)

girl at home - i didnt like the og version, and i know a lot of people dont like the different production it has on the rerecording but i actually prefer it,,, but its my least favourite song on the album still. rip.

i started that ranking at 6:22am and now its 6:25pm. ITS BEEN 12 HOURS HELP WHY IS RED SO LONG anyway,,,,,

LOVEERRRRRRRR (aka one of my 3 stan albums) also not ranking soon youll get better for the same reasons as ronan ^

daylight - can i just say,, I KNOW THIS SONG TECHNICALLY DOESNT COUNT BEFORE BC TOE IS NO LONGER A THING BUT IGNORE THAT PLEASE FOR THIS ONE😭 ok this one has some of my favourite lyrics,, including 'i once believed love would be burning red, but its golden' ARE YOU KIDDDINGGGGG SHE INFLUENCED THE SONG AND ALBUM RED. AS IN SHE THOUGHT LOVE WOULD BE BURRRNIN REDDDD LIKE THE LYRIC. U KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUT RIGHT (2 mins into red the song). OHH ALSO THE VOICE MEMO AT THE END IS SO ICONIC I WANNA GET 'YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE' TATTOOOOOOD ON MYSELF

the archer - one thing i will eat up every time is when a song is produces in a way that makes u feel anxious (either when theres build up with no beat drop/release OR when the drums are super threatening if that makes sense) eg, labyrinth and out of the woods. the archer is such a perfect song and i love the heartbeats that she puts in the bridge (reminds me of wildest dreams and youre losing me ahhhhhh) and whenever i see eras videos of this song people say they wish it wasnt on the set list and honestly i find that baffling. if i ever see that song live i will literally pass away AND if i go to eras i wanna dress up as the archer (cupid vibes)

miss americana & the heartbreak prince - can i just say IVE BEEN A STAN OF THIS SONG SINCE 2019 and it was my favourite from lover for years omg,, and when i saw she opened the eras tour with this one i was so happy bc its finally getting the recognition it deserves !!!!!

afterglow - this song is so criminally underrated and its one of the realest songs on the album,, like is shows that love isnt always perfect and thats such an important thing to know specially for delusional girls like me ohh also theres a few songs on lover that have very specific producion styles, its afterglow, daylight, cornelia street and all of the girls AND ITS MY FAVOURITE PRODUCTION STYLE IN HER DISCOGRAPHY its so light and airy and i cant describe it properly but i love it so much

lover - omg this was my top song on spotify wrapped 2021,, its like the textbook perfect love song and i love the vows in the bridge and i love(r) the 'we can leave the christmas lights till january' and i love the mundane romantic things like saving seats and letting your friends crash in the living room and ahahsuhfjsadlgajhdfhkasgdfhgas

cornelia street - ok unlike daylight, i literally cannon ignore how defesting this song is with the uhhh...,., recent events in the toe timeline, but honestly the existence of 'youre losing me' elevates this song even more with all of the parallels and irony and before this was a cutesie song about omg what if me and my lover break up but now its just a knife twisting in my heart and yeah. rip toe

its nice to have a friend - this was also one of my big stan songs in 2019,, the simplicity just drew me in and its such a sweet song and it reminds me of walking around after school in february where its still getting dark kinda early and u can see the sky turning pink and orange and yeah <3333333333333333 i know this song has its haters but they are all just cold hearted haters, what can i say

cruel summer - IMDRUNKINTHEBACKOFTHECARANDICRIEDLIKEABABYCOMINGHOMEFROMTHEBARSAIDIMFINEBUTITWASNTTRUEIDONTWANNAKEEPSECRETSJUSTTOKEEPYOUANDISNUCKINTHROUGHTHEGARDENGATESEVERYNIGHTTHATSUMMERJUSTTOSEALMYFATEOHHHANDISCREAMEDFORWHATEVERITSWORTHILOVEYOUAINTTHATTHEWORSTTHINGYOUEVERHEARTHELOOKSUPGRINNINGLIKETHEDEVIL

all of the girls you loved before - LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND COMPARE IT WITH PERMANENT MARKER, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW SHE THINKS OF EXES THEN AND NOW IS SO FUNNY

i think he knows - this song makes me feel so silly and michevious idk why likeeeeee im listening to it right now and i feel like i wanna go annoy everyone in my houseee

ME ! - ok i know what u guys are gonna say BUT I DONT CARE. I AM A ME STAN. IF U DONT LIKE THIS SONG UR BORING AND HAVE NO FRIENDS SORRYYYYYYYY like yeah its cringe, yeah the lyrics are corny, but you know what??????? BABY THATS THE FUN OF ME (!) HE HE HEEEE the only valid critisism of this song is the inclusion of brendon urie and tbh that is valid i agree she should have made me (!) the feature

death by a thousand cuts - the way she put in the my my my my from the song lover is so rude and criminal bc why would she do that to me :( and i know this song is sad but imma be dancing around to that bridge idc idc

paper rings - omg this one is so nostalgic,,, i remember my ex gf used to make paper rings because of this song and she taught me and a bunch of our friends at school how to make them it was so fun,,, this was the song i associated with us once upon a time and now we're not a couple anymore but yk what???? i dont find this song sad its all good memories and me and her are still besties so whateverrrr *PAPER RINGS SUPREMACY*

london boy - THIS SONG >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> EVERYTHING BECAUSE LIKE SO MANY SONGS ON THIS ALBUM ITS SO UNSERIOUS AND A GOOD TIME,, IF YOU GET IT YOU GET IT!!!!!!! ALSO IT HITS DIFFERENT WHEN UR ENGLISH (taylor says she loves us <33333333) also shout out to these very iconic parts : 'we can go drivin in, on my scootuh' and 'pubwe' 'darling i fancy you' and its so funny how she literally just lists a bunch of places in london and its seems london until you put all of the locations in google maps and it makes the shape of a heart <3333333333

false god - that saxaphone😫😫😫😫 i rly hope taylor does more jazz in the future bc this song is so amazing

you need to calm down - shade never made anybody less gay FR,, like i said before, im a lesbian and this song makes me wanna tell everryyybody and its such a sillly fun song love love love,, i wish it was longer though

need - YEAHH IM DOING UNRELEASED TOO IDC,, i have this downloaded (very legally) on my spotify bc i (need)ed it very much and ill do it again. this shouldve been on the actual album #justiceforneed2023

the man - okayyyyyyy i diss this song often but i love it really,,, its so #millenialgirlboss

i forgot that you existed - ok i get the message and the whole idea of moving on from reputation idea but did it really have to be the album opener 😭 if somebody plays this album without having heard anything else from taylor and they hear 'in my feelings more than drake so yeah' THEY WILL LITERALLY NEVER LISTEN TO HER AGAINNNN ill allow it because its funny and im a satire girlie but taylor why couldnt you open the album with cruel summer☠️ screaming

evermoree

gold rush - ok guys you know how i feel about winlet and this song YOU KNOWWW THIS. gold rush is my all time most played song on spotify, and its so perfect and magical and if u listen to the dolby atmos stems theres some really nice drums and the 'my mind turns your life into folkloorreeeee' like is SO meta i love her for that

cowboy like me - con artists falling in love????? COUNT ME IN. ohh and i feel like im gonna do this a lot on this album but i have some lyrics that i neeeed to give a shout out to : 'and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to f*ck this up' , 'now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon, with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con' imagine being able to write like that likee damn girl

'tis the damn season - im so obsessed with how this song is the other perspective from the song dorethea,, this is honestly the song i listen to the most every december bc its just the perfect holiday song for me

ivy - I CANT EVEN SHOUT OUT LYRICS HERE BECAUSE THE WHOLE SONG IS LITERALLY GOD TIER LYRICISM. WHO LET HER DO THIS. HOW DOES ONE JUST WRITE ALL OF THIS???????????????? TS > SHAKESPEARE

marjorie - this song is such a beautiful one and its my mums favourite and she always tells me to play it when i have the aux 🥹 when taylor plays this at the eras tour and that part with marjories opera singing plays and u can see taylor crying i just wanna bawl my eyes out

evermore - every few months i rediscover this song and its so perfect and the part in the bridge where the intensity is building and bilding and in the line 'you were there' her voice softens and the whole feeling of anxiety just subsides andaahhhhhhhassdbfkssf , same energy as ootw where the bridge is super fast and anxious and the end shes like 'you were lookin at me' and her voice softens there too, its such a cool thing to do vocally and it rly tells u the perspective the song is from with her spiraling and her lover kinda pulling her back into the present (its giving jacinter energyy)

willow - for literally no reason whenever i hear this song i think of a mermaid and a pirate falling in love,, and theyre both lesbians (i dont make the rules thats just how it is ok) 'wait for the signal and i'll meet you after dark' the only logical conclusion to be drawn from this is that the mermaid and pirate are sneaking around bc mermaids and pirates hate eachother,, like romeo and juliet,,,, like ariel and eric. do u see the vision. do u see the forbidden love. yeah u get it (i know it says thats my man in the song but im choosing to ignore that) (ALSO IM NOT A GAYLOR THIS IS JUST HOW I LIKE TO THINK OF THE SONG LOL)

champagne problems - the fact that she wrote this with joe is insane like how do u sit with ur bf and write a breakup song like this as a fictional thing,, and then break up for the reason in said song 3 years later?????? wild😭

right where you left me - DELUSION ANTHEM 🗣🔊💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

tolerate it - man this song is depressing,, like u know how the song ends with 'i sit and watch you' thats because its repeating the fist line of the song. as in shes in a loop. as in she has all these thoughts and realisations and then realises she has to leave and then ends up right where she started and stays. deep.

no body, no crime - OHH IMAGINE SITTING ROUND A CAMPFIRE SINGING THIS ONE ITS SUCH A FUN MURDER STORY LOVEEE IT

coney island - the bridge with all the references 😫 'were you standing in the hallway, with a big cake, happy birthday / and they're all standing around me singing "happy birthday to you but there was one thing missing' , 'did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? / you paint me a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain' , 'and when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face / remember when you hit the brakes too soon? .... but when the sun came up, I was looking at you' , 'but when I walked up to the podium, i think that I forgot to say your name' / this ones about calvin harris but there isnt a song about it,, but she does talk about this in the miss americana documentary

long story short - this song is literally the whole of reputation summarised its so good

dorothea - this ones the betty of the album,, the simple acoustic part of a song parinng / group, like ive said i love it when she returns to her roots and releases things reminiscent of debut

its time to go - I HATE YOUUUU SCOOTER

happiness - this one is very sad but a little uplifting i guess, i find it so sweet how taylor writes songs for abigail (fifteen and this) to help her get through things

closure - ok i know this is at the bottom of my ranking but i actually really like this song a lot,,, the production is what people hate but i love how its all chaos, representing the whole drama with the breakdown in taylor and scooter / karlies friendships and then the piano comes in smoothly THROUGH the chaos, which reminds me of taylor just ignoring all that drama and being able to move on while theyre still just bothering her in the background

BEA. THIS TOOK AGES I HATE YOU HAHAHAHH

[plus-size-swag]

Okay, the results are in! Meet the competitors!

Round 1:

Big the Cat vs. Ultimate Imposter

Winner - BIG THE CAT 🎗

Eggman vs. Bark the Polar Bear

Winner - EGGMAN 🎗

Guillermo De la Cruz vs. Goobie Ballson

Winner - GUILLERMO DE LA CRUZ 🎗

Glimmer vs. Florence Papermouth

Winner - GLIMMER 🎗

Spinerella vs. Beetlejuice

Winner - BEETLEJUICE 🎗

Diane Nguyen vs. Barney Guttman

Iris Clops vs. Bee

Winner - BEE 🎗

Nadia McConnell vs. Faith Herbert

Willow Park vs. Hunk

Grace Morningstar vs. Ana Sofia Flores

Sadie Miller vs. Leshawna

Amethyst vs. Jasper

Rose Quartz vs. Mystery Girl

Snorlax vs. Garfield

Jasminka Antonenko vs. Mr. Coco

Tabitha vs. Gordie

Agent Valerie Day vs. Shaun Gilmore

Susanne vs. Joy Johnson

Hazel vs. Abby

Coach vs. Stu

Vantage vs. Leota Adebayo

Vaux vs. The Gyoza Fairy

Tanba vs. Cherry

Portia Devorak vs. Santa Claus

Marker Crytear vs. Murray

Henchman vs. Bob Velseb

Soos Ramirez vs. Bill Green

Mama vs. Hard Man

Pigma Dengar vs. Keigan

Rhonda vs. Gordi

Foggy Nelson vs. Toby Domzalski

Miss Piggy vs. Dulia Chai

Ben Hanscom vs. Katrina Alami

Dru Blackthorn vs. Cannonball

Sam Black vs. Martha Dunnstock

Trisana Chandler vs. Hugo Reyes

Nina Zenik vs. Anna Hanyu

Scorpia vs. Myléne Haprèle

Tom Dupain vs. Damian

Tracy Turnblad vs. Muscle Man

Gotz vs. Ruby

Massimo vs. Temeluchus

Robert "Bob" Richards vs. Heymans Breda

DJ Grooves vs. Witch of the Waste

Wilfred Mott vs. Wanda

Gramby vs. Toriel Dreemurr

Alphys vs. E. Honda

Goldewis Dickinson vs. Shirley Bennett

Bandit Heeler vs. Hideyoshi Ushiromiya

Cheng Sinzan vs. Charlotte Lola

Miss Petunia vs. Po

Maui vs. Aziraphale

P.J. Pete vs. Melody Amaranth

Wario vs. Bowser

Russel Hobbs vs. Clarence Wendle

Roadhog vs. Snow White (Red Shoes)

Manpuku vs. Pacha

Totoro vs. Ursula

Bob Belcher vs. Fatgum

Rounds will begin... whenever feels convenient for me. I'm very tired.