#humans eat anything

[jpitha]

You can have a little lye as a treat

“I want to make Maya her favorite food, can you help?” Limmie looks over the table in the canteen at Peggy, the only other human she knows here.

“Uh, maybe Lim, what’s her favorite food? Also, you know that most human foods…”’

“Are toxic to me, yes I know. This one doesn’t seem to bad though? It’s mostly wheat. I can eat wheat, though I shouldn’t eat too much. It’s just wheat and water, some sugar, yeast and salt.”

Peggy thinks a moment. “Some kind of bread?”

Limmie’s nod is so vigorous her ears flutter. “Yeah, something called a pretzel”

“So… that’s not all that’s involved in pretzels.” Peggy stands. “But, I think we can work something out. Come on, let’s sign out a kitchenette.”

A few days later, Limmie comes to the kitchenette that Peggy signed out. They get it for a whole day, which surprised Limmie. “It’s just bread right? Why do we need it for a whole day?”

“Well, we have to give time for the yeast to work.” Peggy is wearing an apron that says “Let’s Get Baked!” And has a cartoon of a bread loaf with bloodshot eyes. She’s getting bowls out and arranging things on the steel table in front of her. “Her favorite is German pretzels?”

“That’s right. She said that she misses them because only her Grandmother makes them right. She sounded so wistful.” Limmie washes her hands, and as she dries them, Peggy hands her a smaller apron. On the front is written “Made from Scratch!” And has a cartoon K’laxi showing their claws. Limmie looks at Peggy who is trying very hard not to laugh. She puts the apron on and flicks her ears in a grin.

Peggy spend the time showing Limmie what to do to make the dough, but she doesn’t do it. It’s for Limmie’s girlfriend, so she does the work. She mixes the flour and the water and the yeast and while is proofs, Peggy explains how the yeast works and what it’s doing. Limmie leans in close and smells the yeasty smell and is amazed that human foods can get this… complicated.

Soon enough the bread has risen and been punched down and shaped and… Peggy is putting on a large rubber apron, heavy gloves and a face shield. Limmie stands back “Uh, Peggy, what are you doing?”

“Oh, the pretzels aren’t done yet, they need a Lye bath.”

“What’s that?”

Peggy’s voice is slightly muffled from the shield. “Oh, Lye is a human word for Sodium Hydroxide, a very strong alkaline chemical. It is quite caustic to organic tissue.”

Limmie takes an unconscious step back. “But, what are you doing then? You’re going to ruin our bread!”

“No no, this is an important step. The pretzels won’t look or smell or taste right unless we dip them in lye.”

“You’re going to DIP the pretzels into a strong alkaline solution?”

Peggy turns, holding another rubber apron, gloves, and face shield. “No. You’re going to.”

“This isnt’ a joke? You’re not trying to make fun of me for not understanding human cookery? You really have to dip the pretzels in that caustic chemical?”

Peggy lifts up her face shield. Her eyes are kind. “Limmie, I would never do that to you. I promise, this will make the pretzels just like how Maya remembers them.”

Tail flicking, Limmie takes the PPE from Peggy. “How do I put this on?”

“I’ll show you, come here.”

****

“Oh gosh Limmie, these are perfect! Where did you get them?” Maya’s eyes are squeezed shut in bliss as she chews the warm pretzels. “They taste just like the ones Nana made!”

“Peggy helped me make them. She showed me exactly what to do, but I did the work.”

Maya swallows and looks at Limmie, eyes wide. “You made these? You made German Pretzels with the lye bath and everything?”

Limmie falls into Maya’s arms and snuggles down into her chest. “Of course I did. I had to wear some personal protective equipment, but Peggy showed me how to be careful and she explained we needed the lye to get it just right. I wanted to make something just for you that I knew you’d love.”

Maya squeezes Limmie and strokes her ears. “They’re wonderful hon. Thank you.”

[reigobun]

early AT anniversary art

[quesadilla-day]

delicious jade 😋yummy yummy 😍

[lunamugetsu]

Bring your sidekick to work day!

Inspired by the "What if Question was the one who saves Danny from GIW?" post that I made awhile ago.

Bring your sidekick to work day!

It was a tradition that started around the time multiple superheroes were taken on sidekicks. Everyone in the league knew why they'd bring their sidekicks to work. Their sidekicks get to socialize with peers their own age and they could properly introduce themselves to other heroes.

So it was a surprise when The Question, the league's faceless conspiracy theorist, offhandedly mentioned that he'll be bringing his sidekick to work while telling them about what new information he's found about Cadmus and another new government agency he thought they should start looking into.

The heroes found it hard to believe.

Question has a sidekick.

Surely they must have misheard.

No way that guy would want a sidekick, let alone get a sidekick.

When "Bring your sidekick to work day" arrived everybody was prepared to see the heroes and sidekicks.

Superman with Superboy

Batman and his 10+ kids

Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl

Flash and Kid Flash

The list went on

The heroes all mingle before realizing that they haven't seen Question. Maybe they did mishear the man? Or Question got his words mixed up?

That was until the computer announced the arrival of Question and a guest that was unidentified.

They all turn around to see the faceless trench coat wearing investigator followed by a tinier faceless trench coat wearing kid. The kid was practically a clone of Question, except...tinier.

"This is my sidekick. Who." Question points to the faceless kid

Flash: Who?

"That's me!" the kid says pointing to himself.

"Why don't you acquaint yourself with the others." Question tells his sidekick who just nods and goes off to introduce himself with the others kids.

Batman: I didn't take you one for having a sidekick.

Question: I could say the same for you. And the sidekick thing just kind of happened. The kid wouldn't leave me alone and I couldn't let the kid get himself into any trouble.

Batman: Understandable

Meanwhile with the sidekicks.

Everybody's asking Who various questions about Question and how he met the man. They barely know anything about the guy.

Question 1: What's the deal with your name?

Who: It's a work in progress. Since my mentor's name is Question. I figured my name should be like a question.

Question 2: How do you eat?

Who: I shove food into my face

Question 3: Where's your face?

Who: Wouldn't you like to know

Question 4: Do you know about his conspiracies?

Who: Of course I know about his conspiracies! I'm one of them

Other sidekicks: What?

After some talking, the sidekicks get along with each other very well. When they reunite with their mentors the computer rings stating that John Constantine was coming along with a guest.

The heroes then all watched as a girl with white hair and green eyes wearing a trench coat and was dragging John Constantine by his sleeve. She grins and introduces herself as Dani with an "i" and that she's John's apprentice.

Dani then spots Who and they immediately do the Spider-man point at the other meme

Who (Danny): you got a trench coat mentor too?!

Dani: Where's your face?!

[jimvasta]

Humans will eat anything

But maybe they shouldn't

"Susie, can I ask you a question? I need a human translation."

Susie smiled softly at the small feathered Craksol who reminded her so much of the bantam chickens that ran around the farm she grew up on. They had the small coloured plumage and bouncy stride, all for standing four feet tall and being highly intelligent spacefarers. "Go for it."

"One of the newcomers complimented me, they said I looked delicious," it always pleased Craksols to receive compliments, they worked hard to maintain their feathers. Preening was huge part of their social structure. "But I did not understand the next part. They said they 'have 11 herbs and spices and an air fryer with my name on.' I never exchanged titles with them and we are not at the stage of gifting, did I- Susie, is that your anger face? Why is your warrior waking? Susie?"

"Which of them said that?" Susie glowered at the new human crew lounging by the bar oblivious to the interest as they enjoyed their drinks.

"The one with long face hair."

Susie nodded. "Lukas."

Her fellow human, the towering male who made all the Craksols automatically nervous, had been silent during the exchange but was stood nearby. "I've got it. He'll have a zinger of a black eye when done with him."

"Whatever you do, just make sure it's original recipe regret."

The Craksol took a step back as they witnessed Lukas calmly walk over to his fellows, the first other humans they had seen in months, and swing a punch that knocked the man who gave the mysterious compliment to the ground. "What- Why-?"

"It's better if you don't know. You go back to the ship. Lukas and I need to give some etiquette lessons to the newbie astronauts."

[cj-kenobi]

a wild otter-wan has appeared!

do you:

- fight! - give him a little pat!

[captainhysunstuff]

22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:

Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.

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Transcript

[canisalbus]

gonna be real with you chief something in my mind genuinely recoils whenever you draw your dog people (cannot stop thinking of them as carnivorous) making or eating bread.

surrealist horror.

I love them. I would die for them. But dear god it scares me

.

[batb1mb0]

Dew: anyway so I said to Papa to go—

Swiss: *crunching styrofoam plate*

Dew: Swiss…

Swiss with a mouthful of styrofoam: yeah? Continue your story

Phantom: yeah! Continue it dude!

Dew: are we just gonna ignore that Swiss is eating a styrofoam plate?!

[fauvester]

THE PRINCES OF THE NORTH!

i thought my little moshang kid could benefit from a baby brother

[danieyells]

"Boss, this is an intervention. A medical intervention."

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

[pupovkitty]

HUNGER HUNGER HUMANITY

[carionto]

For humans are space orcs

When the aliens hear something explode all the human with no eyebrows says is "note to self don't mix (alien compound) with dr.pepper for fun" they comedically cough out smoke then say "also I may need new eyebrows. But hey we found a new way to cook food."

The only reason, as far as we can tell, that Humans haven't gone extinct is because they are too stubborn (and stupid) to do so.

Due to the sheer variety of foods and other consumables that one species finds delectable that another would die from, the only things in the Common Area kitchens were water and simple glucose and carbon-based products, alongside some BOLDLY labeled items that at least 70% of any combination of Coalition species could eat.

Of course, there is still plenty of trading for various ingredients between the different embassies, a sort of back door "smuggling" ring, though nothing is illegal, just closely monitored by the Health Commission. A lot of this activity centers around Humans.

So far they have not put anything on their blacklist, while everyone else's have grown exponentially. Instead, they have a dosage chart.

How do they figure out the correct dosage? Through countless emergency visits to the Hospital wing, of course.

Even when a tenth of a gram of a toxic to Humans purple "double pumpkin" plant shaving made Vicky contort into positions we did not know Human bodies could achieve, screaming in pain all the while, after she was discharged you know what she said?

"It was pretty bad, but I think if you cook it in oil first and combine with a bit of dairy, it'll be a solid 9/10 spicy sauce. Still nothing can beat that one guy back in Mississippi with his black iron cast pot filled with what he only ever calls "The Man's Man". Now THAT hurt."

(I know I veered off the prompt (and title now that I look back up), but that's just how my brain works - words start happening and I don't control where they end up. Suddenly remembered about The Man, and felt like - Yes, these are the words that shall be written.)

[voidpumpkin]

cannibal Laios is so funny to me cause you couldn't find a dude less interested in humans than Laios, he thinks being a human is boring let alone consuming them, his whole interest in consuming monsters comes from finding them interesting and even he has agreed to be careful around the idea of eating demi-humans.

[thebad-lydrawn-sanses]

Does MerKiller like cool and shiny thingamabobs? I have plenty of cool and shiny thingamabobs and he can have them all.

Also, how are Dust and Horror in the Mer AU? :0 They can also have thingamabobs. As a treat.

Killer: oooo

Thing Horror Is Eating: very big burger

Nightmare In Killer's Imagination: pat pat

Killer In Nightmare's Imagination: chomp

Bonus Comic: also