#i Need the rumors to be false or i’m going to become a serious problem

[riighteouspath]

there are rumors happening .

[plaguedocboi]

Ok I think it’s great that the people of the internet care so much about the well-being of frogs but there is some serious misinformation going around and that’s Not Good even if it’s being spread with good intentions

I follow a bunch of frog meme pages on here and on Instagram and almost every single picture (including the ones where the frog is like literally Just Vibing) has someone claiming “abuse” in the comments.

Yeah, there are some pictures and memes out there where the frog is obviously in distress or uncomfortable or being used as a prop. That is definitely a problem. This isn’t about that.

Since this is a trend that seems to be increasing, and I’m sure it causes a lot of people unnecessary anxiety, let’s dispel some concerns and myths about frogs!

“Frogs screaming isn’t cute, they’re in pain”

Frogs do not scream because they’re in pain. Frogs scream as a predator avoidance response. Basically, if something grabs them, or they otherwise feel threatened, they’ll puff themselves up and make a loud noise to scare away whatever’s trying to eat them. In the case of most frog screaming videos, they are not actually about to be eaten, just being bothered by a human. The frog is fine. Once the human leaves it will calm down and go about it’s day, doing frog things. At worst a screaming frog is just mildly scared or stressed out and it will be alright.

“You should never touch an amphibian, your skin sucks moisture out of them and it hurts/kills them”

This has basis in reality, but the reasoning is false. Amphibians do have sensitive skin, and you shouldn’t handle them excessively. However, touching a frog is not going to kill it, and in most cases it’s probably not going to hurt it either. The issue is not that your skin sucks the moisture out of them (seriously, how did this rumor even start?) but that the frog is absorbing whatever chemicals you have on your hands. This is bad if you have things like sunscreen, lotions, bug spray, etc. on you. As long as your hands are clean you can handle frogs without harming them. Most frog owners know this, and make sure they either don’t use harsh chemicals/wash their hands thoroughly before touching their pet.

“That frog is obese and unhealthy”

This can be a legitimate concern, because frogs can easily be overfed and become genuinely unhealthy. But some frogs are just fat. That’s how the species is supposed to look. In the case of many frogs, the females are bigger/rounder than the males and might appear overweight, when they’re really just a normal, healthy female frog!

“That frog is being handled incorrectly in this picture and therefore is in pain or abused”

Pictures can be taken in a fraction of a second. Sometimes you do need to flip a frog on their back/give them a little squeeze/hold them in an awkward way for things like health checks or studies. It’s only for a couple seconds and doesn’t hurt the frog. Having a picture of a frog on their back doesn’t mean they flipped a frog and held it there, they were probably on their back for one photo and then sent on their way.

I’m sure there are more Frog Myths going around, but these are the ones I see most.

Anyway, I think it’s awesome how much people nowadays love frogs! Keep loving frogs and keep calling out genuine problems when you see them! But please don’t spread misinformation and give people anxiety about our amphibious friends. That’s not helping them!

[kimsaena88]

Social media certainly has become a cesspool for spreading rumors, creating false narratives, and insulting complete strangers whose business does not belong to the public. What happened with Taehyung was unacceptable, and he has every right to be upset. How quickly the rumors spread, from both antis and “fans” (TK shippers) alike was disturbing, and even more disappointing when the media took advantage of it. It’s interesting to note that not even a few months ago there were multiple articles featured in Korean media focusing on BTS’s lack of dating rumors and scandals. What are the odds that something like this occurred in such short time?

As I observed this unfold, I was disgusted by the utter disregard and disrespect of privacy for Taehyung, as well as for all celebrities. I’ve heard the cliché, “They knew what they were getting themselves into when they decided to become famous; if they didn’t want to lose their privacy, they shouldn’t have become famous,” before. I’m sure we all have. The problem is, though, that such an opinion is dangerous and can lead to issues like this. No matter what someone’s status is, there should always be boundaries and rights to privacy. The fact that this is lost on many nowadays, shocks me, even though it shouldn’t.

One of the glaring truths to come out of this situation was the fact that it was spread in both Korean and international spheres. The antis and the “fans” that took part were both domestic and global. International ARMY should know that K netizens and K-ARMY are not innocent by any means. I cannot stress enough that although K-ARMY is mostly respectful of the boys’ privacy, there are those who go too far. And, if I’m going to be completely honest, Korean BTS antis, and K netizens for that matter, are far scarier than their international counterparts. Maybe it’s because I’m Korean, but their words just seem to cut deeper and leave an extra bad taste in my mouth.

What’s most important to note here is that Taehyung made it known that he was aware of the rumors, and was transparent in his disgust and disappointment. The sad thing is that this isn’t the first time Taehyung has addressed the breach of privacy and false narratives before. He rather bluntly shut down a TK shipper on Weverse years ago, and also mentioned his concerns and discomfort with sasaengs/stalkers in a VLive. He isn’t afraid to speak on such things, and I respect him for that. However, it seems as though his words, and feelings, fell on deaf ears. Once again, his privacy has been invaded, resulting in baseless and hurtful rumors and threats, not just against him, but others who were involved as well.

[TW: Mention of depression and suicide]

Let this be a lesson. For those who think BTS, or any other idol or celebrity, will not be exposed to the rumors and negativity that spread like wildfire online, please take note of what has happened here. You, nor anyone else, are entitled to mess with the privacy of anyone else, no matter who they are. Be respectful and mindful of what you say in regards to someone else, including those who are famous. They are people, too. Their feelings are just as real and important as yours or anyone else’s. I shouldn’t have to remind anyone of the suicides of idols and other celebrities who suffered from crippling depression caused by the harsh criticism, rumors, and heartless words of antis and “fans” found all over social media. It happens far too often.

This is not something to be taken lightly. This is not a joke. This is a serious problem that gets swept under the rug far too often. We need to be better than this. Please, if you see this type of behavior, whether it be the spreading of rumors, invasion of privacy, or dangerous/harmful/violent rhetoric, report it. Be supportive when and where you can. You’ll be surprised how much your kind words can help. Encourage respect and the rights to privacy. Be the positive change that social media most desperately needs right now. We may not be able to put a full stop to the toxicity, but we can provide some relief from it. 

[missdawnandherdusk]

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

Hufflepuff!Reader X Draco

The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children

But now we've stepped into a cruel world

Where everybody stands and keeps score

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard

Every lesson forms a new scar

They never thought you'd make it this far

Chapter 1     Chapter 2    Chapter 3    

Chapter 4     Chapter 5     Chapter 6

Chapter 7    Chapter 8     Chapter 9

Summary: Planning for something in theory is easy... putting it into practice? That’s where the weak are separated from the strong. 

A/n: Hello my lovelies! So here is the second part to the last chapter!! If I had posted it all at once it would have been over 20k words so... yeah. I split them up. Also, this gets pretty dark and well, we all know how HBP ends... so I guess that’s a warning. And to add, this went in a completely different direction than I planned, but now it’s closer to my original idea so... Let me know what you guys think! Seriously, I thrive on your approval. (Also, I’d like to see if someone notices a MAJOR problem for these two kids... because I barely caught it myself) 

“Oh, my darling boy,” Narcissa crooned, nearing Draco’s bedside. She took his hand though he was in a spell induced coma and could not hear her.

“I’m so sorry Narcissa,” I teared up. “I...”

“Snape explained it all my dear,” She consoled, reaching out for me. “You have nothing to apologize for,”

I all but collapsed in her arms, breaking down into tears as she held me. Though Abby and Pansy—as well as many others including Ernie, Blaise, Greg, Vincent, and Hannah—had comforted me and offered me a solace, it was different having a mother there to hold me and tell me it was going to be alright.

“It was awful,” I sniveled. “I thought... I thought...” I began to hiccup with the lack of oxygen due to my tears.

Narcissa shushed me softly and rubbed my back in a soothing rhythm.

“You’re alright darling,” Her voice was gentle. “Everything’s going to be alright,”

She stayed for the remainder of the night and came back the next day. I was only allowed a day off from classes before I had to return though Draco had still not woken. Though I knew there would be rumors and whispers, and though I expected to have to retell the harrowing story again and again, everyone already seemed to know. And more surprisingly, each student I came across was sympathetic and kind to me and even towards Draco, wanting to know how he was faring. Yet the thing that took me back the most was the amount of Gryffindors who offered their sympathies to Draco, rather than siding with their own Golden Boy. Even McGonagall offered her sympathies.

And for the most part, I completely ignored Harry. The best I could. Which... well. I’d like to say that I did, but I can’t. To be fair, he did try to talk to me on my first day back, two days after his attempted murder.

“Y/n,” He rushed out in the Great Hall as I sat down with Pansy and Abby.

“You need to stay away from me,” I gritted out, glowering at him. “You’re a coward!” 

“Look, I didn’t know what the spell would do, okay?”

“No! That’s not okay!” I stood. “You almost killed him! And you would have! Why in Merlin’s name would you use a spell if you didn’t know what it did!?” Bristling, Abby had to place her hand on my arm before I drew my own wand. Her gentle hand allowed me a moment to take a deep breath and cam myself, ever so slightly. “Just get out of here Harry. Don’t... don’t talk to me,”

“Come on, mate, let’s go,” Ron pulled Harry’s arm back, sensing the rising tension in his best friend.

“You’re... you’re not really going to...” Abby asked softly as we sat back down. “About being the bad guy?” She was almost timid to ask.

I sighed and shook my head.

“No,” I admitted. “I just said it because I was mad and scared. I’m not gonna go off and join the Dark Lord,” a sad smile played at my lips. “I... I feel like I have no choice... This path was forced into me because of Precious Potter and I... I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to be broken... but I don’t want to be walked on,”

“And you don’t have to be,” Pansy encouraged. “We all have your back,” Pansy nodded to the Hall. “We’re on your side,”

“I don’t want there to be sides!” I dismayed, scrubbing my face. “I don’t want to be divided because we still do have the same enemy and...” I let out a sharp breath in defeat. “When did it all become so complicated?”

Abby said nothing but wrapped an arm around me, soothingly rubbing my shoulder.

“It’ll all work out, you’ll see,” She encouraged, sharing a look with Pansy. “For all of us.”

After dinner, as I always did, I went and saw Draco. His steady grey eyes trailed me as I rounded his cot.

“Hey,” He offered softly as I slipped my hand into his. Despite his many blankets and long sleeves, his hands were still ice cold.

“Hey,” I echoed sadly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” There was little confidence in his voice. “How’s class without me?” I scoffed and stared at the intricate carvings on the pillars of the infirmary.

“It’s not the same... nothing is the same...” The depressing thought left my lips before I could stop it. “I do miss walking to class with you though,” A small smile played at my lips at my gaze returned to him.

Wordlessly I reached out and brushed a few stray hairs from his face, my fingers ghosting over the pale pink scar that ran along the side of his face. Maybe fortune was on our side because though his skin was marred with scars, the spell hadn’t left permanent damage to his senses. His skin was still chilled under my touch.

“You’re still cold,” I murmured. “Do you want tea? Another blanket? I’m sure there’s a warming potion around here somewhere,”

“I’m alright,” His lips tugged upward. “Pomfrey and Snape said that it might happen, because of the Dark Magic...”

Worrying my lip, I nodded and intertwined my fingers with his pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“What’s on your mind?” His question was soft.

“Nothing and everything,” I smiled. “Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing... but loved most of all, when she went to sleep, to hear the Angel of Music...”

“Haven’t read that one in a while,” Draco mused softly. “I think they’re having a show in London over the summer holiday...”

I wanted to snap at him. I wanted to say that it was stupid to think about the summer. It was foolish to think we’d survive the semester. That going to the opera shouldn’t be a plan we made on some false hope that we’d actually make it.

But I didn’t.

Instead I entertained the idea. Just for a while. Even if it would hurt later.

“You’d take me then?” I mused.

“Well, of course,” Draco smiled, enjoying that I was playing along. “Of course, Pansy and Abby would come with us,”

I laughed softly at the thought. The false memory of the four of us in some opera house amidst twinkling lights, dressed lavishly, laughing and having fun. I could see myself on Draco’s arm as he held his head high, smiling soft at my antics. I could almost hear Pansy scolding Abby for her poor etiquette. I could almost feel the thrum of the music in my soul and the magic of the performance before me as I was enraptured again by another story.

“I’d like that,” I whispered softly, tears stinging my eyes. 

“Then think of it done,”

A silence fell between us.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked softly.

“Would you expect me to say anything but yes?” He quirked an eyebrow.

Curled up in his arms, again I thought of everything and nothing, utterly exhausted—mentally, emotionally, physically. Draco still offered a sweet comfort that I had never found in anyone else. A comfort that quelled my anxieties and allowed me to sleep soundly.

“Told you she would be here,” I heard Pansy whisper harshly. “It’s not like it’s the first time they’ve done it,”

“Yes, yes, you’re so smart,” Abby said flatly. “They’re still precious, aren’t they? Even now,”

There wasn’t a response. I shifted through my sleep logged thoughts and blinked my eyes open. Draco was still fast asleep beside me, his mouth hanging slightly open as gentle breaths passed through his lips. Abby and Pansy were forgotten as I watched Draco bathed I the soft morning light.

“Hey Feathers, Dumbledore wants to see you,” Abby nudged my arm. “I don’t think it’s good either.”

Fear and dread struck my heart as I froze.

“Did he say why?” I squeaked out, carefully slipping out of the bed, not to rouse Draco. 

“No, just that it was a serious matter,” Abby frowned at me. “Are you okay?”

“Do you really want the answer to that?” I mumbled. “Please stay with him, tell him where I am when he wakes up. And if he tries to come and find me, make sure he doesn’t. He’s still healing,”

Timidly I made my way up to Dumbledore’s office, a list of a thousand things that could go wrong sprinting through my mind, willing them all true. Those thoughts however, changed and funneled when I saw that I wasn’t alone in his office with him. No, Harry, Snape, and McGonagall were all present along with the old headmaster.

“Miss Y/l/n, thank you for joining us,” Dumbledore smiled kindly. 

“Yeah... okay,” I closed the door behind me. “What’s this about?”

“What happened in Myrtle’s bathroom,” Snape informed with a monotone voice. “Though I have thoroughly explained that what Harry did to Mr. Malfoy was much worse and you acted in self- defense,”

“Uh... okay...” My eyebrows furrowed. “What exactly did I do?” 

“What did you do? You used an Unforgivable!” McGonagall dismayed. 

“You tortured me!” Harry exclaimed.

“You attempted to murdered Draco!” I shot back. “What was I supposed to do!?” 

“As I said, she acted in self-defense.” Snape cut the tension with his calmed voice.

“That wasn’t self-defense, that was malicious intent,” Harry growled. “You have to mean the curse for it to do any damage,”

“Oh yes, and I’m sure your use of Dark Magic is completely justified,” I snapped, crossing my arms. “And are you really going to play the victim when I have every right to loathe you?”

“Miss Y/l/n,” Dumbledore interjected. “We are not here to point fingers, but rather here the entire story. Both sides.”

“Why isn’t Sprout here?” I looked around. “She’s my Head of House... shouldn’t she be here?” 

“This isn’t a House matter,” Snape clarified. “This is a matter of the Order,”

“Of which you are a member,” McGonagall finished. “Now please, your side of the story,”

My mind processed this information then I began my tale.

“Draco was having a panic attack, so I led him to the nearest quiet place that I could find—” 

“Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom?” McGonagall clarified and I nodded.

“I was comforting Draco—walking him through grounding and Harry burst into the bathroom. Draco got defensive of me, drawing his wand, and Harry cast a hex at the two of us... I remember telling Draco to stop... there was water everywhere. And then Harry,” I glanced over to the golden boy who was sulking in his chair. “Cast whatever awful spell that was. I didn’t think. The Unforgivable was the first spell that came to mind...” I paused, drawing in a sharp breath. “Then there was so much blood. Merlin...” I wrung my hands together in a desperate attempt to wash my clean hands of blood that was no longer there. “I did cast the spell, and I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m sorry for hurting you, but not for defending Draco,”

“I see,” Dumbledore nodded. “Well, it seems that all’s well that ends well,” 

Harry and I both sputtered, glaring each other down.

“She should be going to Azkaban!” Harry exclaimed.

“Oh, you should really keep your comments to yourself Potter,” I snarled.

“If I remember correctly Mr. Potter, you also cast an Unforgivable at Bellatrix not last year,” Dumbledore raised an ancient eyebrow at a fuming Harry who instantly fizzled out.

“You cast an Unforgivable and you have the nerve to accuse me! Oh, stars above Harry where does it end with you!?”

“That doesn’t count! She was trying to kill me! She killed Sirius!”

I stared at him in quelled anger. “Funny,” My voice was calm and even. “I could have sworn I did it for the same reasons,” I watched the color drain from his face. “But I get it, I’m not the Chosen One, I don’t get free passes, do I?”

“Miss Y/n,” McGonagall warned.

“Am I free to go? I need to get back to Draco,” I looked to Snape.

He gave a seldom and I rushed out of the office, practically running back to the hospital wing. Abby caught me in her arms, stilling me outside the door.

“Hey, talk to me,” She demanded. “What happened?”

“Harry needs to mind his own damn business,” I growled. “He told that I used an Unforgivable against him after he tried to kill Draco. After he already used one last year! And he has the nerve—”

“Y/n?” Draco’s shaky voice was a lot closer than I thought it would be. It had to mean that he was up and walking.

“Dray?” My anger softened to concern and hope. “Draco what are you doing up?”

“You could have given us more of a warning about how much he would fight us after telling him that Dumbledore wanted to speak to you,” Pansy muttered, Draco’s arm slung around her shoulder.

“Sorry?” I offered, taking Draco’s weight, freeing Pansy. “You need to stay in bed,” I scolded him softly.

“How could you think that I would? How could you just leave?” His voice was trembling and uncertain.

“I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” I led him back to his cot, setting him down gently. “Forgive me?”

He nodded as I pulled the blanket back over him. Pansy and Abby aided me in getting him settled again.

“This is so stupid,” He groaned. “I should be there with you,”

“A few more days, my love,” I comforted softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Then you’ll be back beside me,”

__________________________________

Draco’s eyes met the plated silver. His reflection mocking him. His pale skin was decorated— was that the right word? Ruined, perhaps—with faded pinkish scars.

Of course, his mother had been livid. Visiting him in the hospital wing more days than not until he was medically cleared to go back to class, she was there, pacing, muttering, threatening, demanding.

Your sentiments matched his mother’s but ever since the fateful day that Harry had taken him inches from death, you had gone silent with a cold ruthless fury. A look that only faded from your eyes when they met his. Then adoration was evident. Love and dedication was evident. Kindness.

As he stared at his reflection, the phantom memory of pain danced along his skin.

“Hey there handsome,” Your gentle voice caught his attention. Catching the sight of you in the mirror he turned, leaning against the vanity.

“I don’t remember you ever calling me that before,” He mused, slightly teasing—part of him wondering if you were just saying it to make him feel better.

“I know you Draco,” You pressed off the doorjamb you were leaning against and took his hands. “Self-assured, confident, absolutely gorgeous,” A smirk hinted at your lips. “But I know you’re unsteady right now.” Gently your fingers traced the scars on his hands trailing up his arm making him shudder.

“And what of you?” He asked softly, bringing your hand to his lips pressing a kiss there softly, reveling in the warmth of your skin; something that he had lost, his skin retaining an icy chill with the dark magic that plagued it.

“What of me?” You countered softly. “I’m quite assured that I’m beautiful to those who matter to me... call it vanity,”

A chuckle escaped his lips, your words reminding him of Pansy. “No, that’s no mystery. You are stunning,” Your arms draped lazily around his shoulders as you waited for him to continue. “Are you okay? I know you, and you’ve been... I don’t know. Withdrawn? Distracted?”

He feared the anger that flashed in your eyes until you seemed to blink it away. With the fluttering of your eyelashes the ire turned to sorrow. Your shoulders rose and fell with the deep breath you took.

“I’m tired of being walked on. I’m tired of people underestimating me. Of thinking I’m harmless or weak.” You paused but then your eyes met his pleading, “I know who I am, I really do. I’m just tired of other people not seeing it.”

Draco smiled at you, reaching up and caressing your cheek delicately. “And?” He knew you had more on your mind.

“I’ve had enough of Harry thinking he can get away with anything.”

Draco nodded. Before his prejudices against Potter had been just that—prejudices. Now? Now they went so much deeper. The hurt and pain that Harry had caused to you and him was something that couldn’t be brushed off. Draco’s anger matched yours when thinking of Potter, but maybe the difference was he had never seen it from the outside looking in.

“He almost killed you Draco,” Your voice wavered. “If Snape hadn’t shown up, you would have...” Tears pricked your eyes and you quickly shut them. “I can’t... I can’t lose you... and I never want to feel helpless like that again,”

Draco cupped your face softly, your eyes meeting his as quiet streams of tears trailed down your cheeks.

“And you won’t have to, but my love,” He sighed softly and pressed a kiss to your forehead before drawing you into his arms, “I don’t want you to lose yourself... I know you’re angry, and I know you’re scared... I know you wish it would all just go away, because I do too,” He sighed deeply. “But we can’t lose focus on who we are,”

“When did you become the wise grounded one?” You pouted into his shoulder, earning a small chuckle from him.

“Some girl brought me back down to Earth,” He mused.

“Must have been some girl,” He could hear the smile in your voice.

“Oh, she’s quite wonderful, I think you’d love her. I know I do,”

“Sap,” You accused, smiling up at him.

“And yet you love me anyway,”

“I do,” You pressed up on your toes, your lips brushing against his softly.

The day that he returned to class, as expected, he got plenty of stares. Students gawking at him and whispering behind his back. Not that it was new for him. But maybe you were right—he was unsteady. You still held his hand in the halls though, and still looked at him as you would a piece of artwork. And whenever he became uncertain about his appearance your gently smile and soft kisses created phantom memories that kept him grounded.

“Ginny and Harry are together,” Hannah gave off hand one day at dinner.

Draco’s eyebrows raised in surprised. Your face soured a bit as your eyes drifted over to the Gryffindor table where sure enough Harry and Ginny were sitting together amidst their friends. He pressed a kiss to your temple, pulling you a bit closer. The pout didn’t leave your face, but your focus reverted back to your friends before you.

Draco hadn’t spoken to or gone near Harry since he had been back to class. The only real struggle was Potions, but Harry seemed content on ignoring him, and with Ernie as Draco’s partner, Draco’s thoughts weren’t consumed with Harry. Ernie was actually quite pleasant in class, Draco had to admit. Though he was a bit reckless and impulsive in a childlike manor, but he wasn’t impossible for Draco to work with. In fact, Draco almost preferred to work with Ernie because Ernie didn’t treat him any differently after his near-death experience. It was a vein of normalcy.

“This should work,” You lowered your wand, running your hand over the mended Vanishing Cabinet. “We should be done,”

His eyes met yours. There was hope in your warm eyes. Draco gave a seldom nod and grabbed an apple from his bag. It was the first test. Though weeks ago, the apple had made it to Borgin and Burkes, the live finches you had sent hadn’t survived. You mourned the small birds and buried them beneath your tree by the lake.

The apple was closed behind the wardrobes doors and after counting to thirty, your hand gripped tightly in his, Draco opened the door again and saw that the apple had a slice cut out of it. You let out a steady breath and went to the golden wire cage, with gentle grace setting down the small bird into the wardrobe. You closed your eyes, refusing to watch as he closed the door this time. Thirty seconds again, he opened the door, and the small finch was there, staring up at the two of you, an apple slice in his mouth.

You let out a scream of excitement and joy as you gathered the bird into your hands and kissing its small head before setting it back in the cage to enjoy its treat.

The next was a crow, easily transfigured from a goblet. Draco ser the bird into the cabinet and closed the door yet again. The ruffling of wings faded for twenty seconds until he heard frantic cawing and agitated movements. Throwing open the door, the crow flew out. With a quick flick of your wand the crow was a goblet once more, falling harmlessly into the piles of rubbish around the two of you.

“I have to go,” You breathed out, words that he had been dreading.

“Y/n,” He refuted. “We don’t know if it’ll work for larger animals, Pinnae might not make it.”

“It worked for the crow,” You pointed out. “Pinnae can make it,”

“It’s too dangerous,”

“Draco,” You gave him a flat look. “I need to go,” You took his hands into yours. “It’ll be okay, I’ll be back. If not, I’ll just fly back here from Diagon Alley.”

“You make it sound so simple,” He nuzzled his nose to yours.

“Because it is,” You smiled, pressing your lips to his fleetingly. “I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Please be careful,” Draco dismayed as your morphed into Pinnae, fluttering into the base of the wardrobe.

Then he closed the door, trapping you in darkness. Thirty seconds had never been so long.

There was a knock on the door then it slowly opened. Your smiling face was shining as you crawled out of the cabinet.

“It works,” You breathed out, amazed.

“By Merlin it works!” Draco exclaimed, spinning you in his arms.

You laughed and held onto him tightly. The two of you celebrated with laughter that turned to tears. When the entire world seemed against you two, at least one thing went right.

“I love you,” You sniffled through tears.

“Stars, I love you too,” He breathed in the scent of you deeply, burying his head in your shoulder. “We’re gonna make it,” He was almost hopeful.

“We’re gonna make it,” You affirmed.

“Who’s there?”

You and Draco froze, staring at each other in paralyzing fear. 

“Hello?” The voice called again.

You sagged and let out an aggravated groan. “It’s Trelawney,” Gritting your teeth you let go of him, sighing. “I’ll go see what she wants. You get to Snape and tell him we do this tonight.” There was fierce determination in your eyes.

Draco nodded and watched as you made your way toward the exit. He could hear your faint conversation with the professor. Giving you five minutes head start, Draco slipped from the Room of Hidden Things undetected.

“It’s done,” Draco panted out, catching his breath after nearly running to Snape’s office. “The raid has to be tonight,”

“I see,” Snape rose. “And you’re certain?”

You burst into the office just then, also out of breath. “Harry and Dumbledore are leaving to go find something called—”

“Silencio!” Snape casted the spell on you, proving you mute. Infuriated, Draco drew his wand, stepping between you and the professor. “Calm down, she’s in no harm,” Snape rolled his eyes and lifted the spell. “But be careful with what you speak. It is wise to hold your tongue.”

Fuming, you nodded still.

Draco lowered his wand and took your hand.

“Now, you both know the task ahead of you?” Snape questioned. Silent nods affirmed the question. “Very well. He will be pleased, Draco. Very pleased indeed.” Another silent moment passed. “You have twenty-three minutes.”

Draco took your hand and pulled you into the hallway and along the corridors.

“Go, find Abby. Warn your friends. Warn your house. No one needs to get hurt. We’re already doing enough damage,” His voice was soft and gentle as unshed tears lingered in his eyes.

“I love you,” Your voice broke as he cupped your face and pressed his lips to yours desperately.

The kiss was hasty and despairing. Though neither of you would admit it, you both knew that it was a kiss goodbye. The warmth of your breath against his was the last of your warmth that he expected. The urgency of your fingers in his hair was the last of your comfort that he sought. The taste of your mouth was the last of your sweetness that he accepted. The softness of your lips was the last of your peace that he pursued.

“Twenty-three minutes,” He breathed out before letting you go and heading down to the murky waters of the Slytherin Common Room.

The Mark on his arm burned and Draco knew that Snape had called the others of the raid. A plan set into motion long ago, now coming to fruition.

____________________________

“Y/n!” Abby called my name as you burst into the common room. “What’s going on?”

My friends were all gathered in the common room as Abby tossed to me something small and shiny. A galleon. My galleon. From D.A. I might have cursed.

“How does he even know?” I chucked the galleon into the fire, watching it ricochet a flurry of ashes. My eyes met Abby’s. “It’s tonight,”

She nodded, knowing what it meant, knowing what was expected of her. A plan made long ago, that was now set into motion.

“Okay, this is going to get very bad, very quickly.” My voice trembled as I looked at all of the horror-struck faces before me. “But please, I need you all to keep the younger years safe. I need you to stay out of the halls until Abby comes and gets you.”

“But what about you?” Ernie asked.

“Look, you’re going to hear things. Awful things about Draco and me. And I can’t deny them, nor should I ask for your forgiveness. But please,” Tears streamed down my face. “Believe that everything I’ve worked for... everything I’ve done has been for this family,” I looked around the room. “I don’t have much of one by blood, but you? All of you... you’ve always been my family. And Hogwarts is my home.”

Abby’s arms wrapped around me and I could no longer hold back my tears. Soon there was a massive comfort pile and I was in the center of it. My friends, my family all there, all holding me close.

“So, what do you need us to do?” Taylor asked. I wiped my eyes and stood tall.

“Someone get word to the Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors that they need to stay in their dorm. You all have about fifteen minutes to be completely locked down. Cast protection spells. Silencing spells. Comfort younger years. Distract them. Do not take an order from anyone unless it’s Abby. Make sure she is not under a spell before you listen to her.” I glanced over at her. “This is a grave matter and lives are on the line tonight. One of which is mine. I don’t know what will happen tonight, but I won’t be coming back. Not for some while.”

“But why?” I didn’t see where the question came from.

“It will all be revealed soon. I love you all. And I hope that you all can forgive me after tonight. No matter what you think of me, please, don’t forget: have courage and be kind.”

They all nodded. I rushed up to my room, changing quickly into dueling robes, pulling my silver cloak on.

“Are you okay?” Abby asked, tying her hair back.

“I’ll be fine,” I drew her in for a hug. “Please just get out alive,”

“You too kid,” Abby smiled weakly, taking my hand. “Sister for life,”

“Hufflepuffs for life,” I finished, looking back one last time before taking off through the window and into the night.

With a soft thud I landed on Draco’s floor. He was expecting me. We didn’t embrace another, but instead got to work.

“The Hufflepuffs?” He asked.

“Warned and locked down. Word was sent to Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. The Slytherins?” 

“Secured.” Draco affirmed. “Seven minutes,”

“Okay,” I nodded. “The Mark,”

Draco looked out his opened window and chanted something short and unfamiliar to my ears and I watched as a snake coiled from the end of his wand in a thick green smoke and into the sky merging with a skull. I took his hand, standing beside him.

“I still don’t want to kill him,” Draco confessed. “But I’ll do anything to keep you safe,”

“Draco don’t worry about me. Your mother and I have a plan if things go wrong.” It was an easy lie as I met his confused grey eyes. I smiled softly. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“The Astronomy tower,” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Go,”

I leapt out of his window again and circled the school, patrolling, watching two figures on brooms land on the tower I was destined for. The quiet night was eerily quiet as I landed, perched on a sill, watching Harry and a frail looking Dumbledore. I almost slipped out of Pinnae because of the regret that fluttered in my chest, but it was easily pushed aside.

I watched as Harry hurried over to the door leading to the spiral staircase, his hand just meeting the door as I heard running footsteps from the door opposite to Harry. My eyes trained and waiting for Draco missed whatever had caused Harry to keep fleeing.

“Expelliarmus!” Draco shouted, and I sprang into action, catching the wand in my claws and settling back on the sill.

Standing against the ramparts, very white in the face, Dumbledore still showed no sign of panic or distress. He merely looked across at his disarmer and said, “Good evening, Draco,”

Draco stepped forward glancing over to me then to the empty room. He was making sure that we were alone. I wanted to warn him that Harry was close, but I couldn’t not yet. Draco seemed to figure this out on his own however, as his eyes fell upon the second broom.

“Who else is here?” He demanded.

“A question I might ask you.” Dumbledore eyed me before his attention reverted back to Draco. “Surely you’re not acting alone,”

“No,” Draco said. “I’ve got backup.”

“I see,” Dumbledore said as if Draco’s actions were praiseworthy. “And won’t you join us Miss Y/n?”

Draco glanced to me, panicked. That wasn’t a part of the plan. I wasn’t to be human at all. No one was supposed to know that I was there. Not the Order or the Death Eaters and certainly not Bellatrix.

“I know that it’s you my dear, you might as well join us,”

It was a wildcard neither Draco nor I were expecting. Draco gave a seldom nod, looking utterly defeated. Against my better judgement, I morphed back human, wand in my hand as I took my place at Draco’s side, adrenaline and anxiety threading through my chest.

“You always were such a talented witch,” Dumbledore praised. “I assume you had a hand in this plan, finding a way to get the other Death Eaters into my school?”

“Yes,” I answered, my voice shaking.

“You do complicate things don’t you my dear,” Dumbledore’s eyes fell upon me. “To think if Mr. Malfoy never had you, what would have become of him.”

“I don’t dwell on what might have been,” My eyes narrowed at the frail headmaster. “But rather what is to come,”

“Ah yes, your little job,” A twisted smile curled on his face. “Well, then, you must get on and do it, my dear boy,” said Dumbledore softly.

Confusion flitted across my face. Did Dumbledore know what we were here to do? How long had he known? Why the bloody hell hadn’t he said anything? A tense silence fell between us and I could faintly hear the fighting of Death Eaters and The Order occur somewhere below. I winced at the mental images.

“Draco, you are not a killer.” Dumbledore smiled. The words sounded cruel coming from his mouth rather than mine. Condescending.

“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” Draco snarled, gripping his wand tightly.

“Oh yes, I do,” said Dumbledore mildly. “You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley—”

“That wasn’t us,” I interjected. “You really think I’d allow that?”

“Well you are here to kill me, are you not?”

Silently I seethed, gritting my teeth.

“It wasn’t us,” Draco replied coldly. “And we never figured out who it was,”

“Very curious,” Dumbledore mused. “But you were saying . . . yes, you have managed to introduce Death Eaters into my school, which, I admit, I thought impossible...How did you do it?”

Neither of us said anything. The echoes of the fight below were deafening. My blood ran cold, torn between who I needed to win. One to protect Draco and I. One to protect my family.

“Perhaps you ought to get on with the job alone,” Dumbledore taunted. “What if your backup has been thwarted by my guard? As you have perhaps realized, there are members of the Order of the Phoenix here tonight too,”

“The Order is here?” Frowning I met ancient blue eyes. 

“You think I wouldn’t have back up at my own school?”

Betrayal washed through me. I had no idea that the Order was here. That they were the guard against the raid that was merely a plan b. I never wanted them to get hurt. Why wasn’t I told that they were here? Wasn’t I apart of the Order as well? Then it dawned on me.

“You... you manipulated me!” I shouted. “You never wanted me as a part of the Order! You just wanted to keep an eye one me! Never for one moment did you believe in me!”

Draco winced at the realization of my words, as he took my hand, grounding me. 

“Who was I to go against your father’s wishes?”

“My father is dead because he believed in you,” I spat.

“He died for you. Not me.”

I growled dangerously.

“But never mind all of that,” Dumbledore waved the thought as if it were something easily dismissed. “And after all, you don’t really need help... I have no wand at the moment... I cannot defend myself.”

I ran my fingers over Dumbledore’s wand in my hand. It was urging me on, daring me to cast an Unforgivable. Begging me to. If I didn’t get my fury under control, Draco might not have to kill Dumbledore. Because I would.

A silence fell again.

“I see,” said Dumbledore patronizingly. “You are afraid to act until they join you.”

“I’m not afraid!” Draco snarled, though he still made no move to hurt Dumbledore. “It’s you who should be scared!”

“But why? I don’t think you will kill me, Draco. Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe... So, tell me, while we wait for your friends... how did you two smuggle them in here? It seems to have taken you a long time to work out how to do it.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I hissed. “We had the plan since this past summer. We could have easily done it by Christmas, but Draco and I deserved another year together at our home,” My words dripped venom as they met the crisp air.

“We had to mend that broken Vanishing Cabinet that no one’s used for years. The one Montague got lost in last year.” Draco explained because anger claimed my voice, deeming me silent.

“Ah.” Dumbledore’s sigh was half a groan. He closed his eyes for a moment. “That was clever... There is a pair, I take it?”

“We don’t have to explain anything to you,” I whispered, my eyes closed as I tried to reign in my anger.

“I see,” Dumbledore smiled. “But I suppose that I was incorrect when I assumed that you were not sure you would succeed in mending the cabinet and acted rashly? It does leave me to wonder who did almost kill Ms. Bell and Mr. Weasley.”

Draco’s grip on my hand tightened. He didn’t like the loose end any more than I did. “If you suspected us, why didn’t you stop us then?” Draco demanded.

“I tried, Draco. Professor Snape has been keeping watch over you on my orders —” 

“He hasn’t been doing your orders, he promised my mother--”

“Of course, that is what he would tell you, Draco, but—”

“But nothing!” I interrupted. “I think Narcissa means a bit more to Snape than you do,” 

“We must agree to differ on that, my dear. It so happens that I trust Professor Snape —”

“That’s marvelous,” I deadpanned. “But trust isn’t the same as loyalty,”

“Isn’t it though?” The old professor seemed as if he were having a hard time standing on his own without the help of the railing. I almost offered my aid. “But as for being bout to kill me, Draco, you have had several long minutes now, we are quite alone, I am more defenseless than you can have dreamed of finding me, and still you have not acted...”

Draco glanced to me and a gave a soft smile. The fear and uncertainty in his eyes caused my anger to morph into a fierce protection.

“I see,” Dumbledore went on. “I wonder why Voldemort has let you live so long Miss Y/n. You really do hinder Draco from what is expected of him,”

“Shut your mouth!” Draco snapped. “She is the cleverest, most brilliant witch I’ve met! If anything, she pushes me past what I should be and into who I am!”

“And who are you Mr. Malfoy? Are you a killer?” Neither of us answered. “There is little time, one way or another,” said Dumbledore. “So, let us discuss your options, Draco.”

“My options!” Draco scoffed. “I’m standing here with a wand—I’m about to kill you—”

“My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means.”

Draco’s aspiration to kill Dumbledore might be fading, but my desire for it was growing with each moment that passed as I untangled a web of lies and manipulation in silence about the frail headmaster before me.

“I haven’t got any options!” Draco despaired. “I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill her! He’ll kill my mother!”

“I appreciate the difficulty of your position,” said Dumbledore. “Why else do you—”

“No,” The fury in my voice was cold and unforgiving. “Don’t. You. Dare. Don’t you dare make yourself the martyr. You have no idea the hell Draco and I have been through together. Your chosen one almost killed him for Merlin’s sake, and you have nerve to offer a false kindness? As if you were blameless? As if you understood?”

“No, you can’t,” Draco agreed to the weight of my words.

“Come over to the right side,” Dumbledore continued as if I had never spoken, “and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban...When the time comes, we can protect him too. Come over to the right side, you are not a killer...”

“Like you protected my father?” I whispered softly. “When will you see we are on the side of good. But we’re not on your side.”

Dumbledore did not speak. His mouth was open, still trembling, as if to find the right words to manipulate us back to his side. 

But suddenly footsteps were thundering up the stairs, Draco and I turned, in fear. We were both buffeted out of the way as four black robes burst through the door.

It seemed the Death Eaters had won the fight below.

A lumpy-looking man with an odd lopsided leer gave a wheezy giggle. “Dumbledore cornered!” he said, and he turned to a stocky little woman who looked as though she could be his sister and who was grinning eagerly. “Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!”

“Good evening, Amycus,” said Dumbledore calmly, as though welcoming the man to a tea party. “And you’ve brought Alecto too... Charming...”

The woman gave an angry little titter. “Think your little jokes’ll help you on your deathbed then?” she jeered.

“Jokes? No, no, these are manners,” replied Dumbledore.

“Do it,” said the stranger standing furthest from me. He had a deep raspy voice and almost barked the words. All of my instincts told me to run from this man.

“Is that you, Fenrir?” asked Dumbledore.

“That’s right,” Fenrir barked, and I understood. Fenrir Greyback, the savage werewolf. “Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?”

“No, I cannot say that I am.”

Greyback grinned, showing pointed teeth. Blood trickled down his chin and he licked his lips slowly, obscenely. “But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore.”

I choked back a sob, struggling to stand upright. Faces of my family flashed through my mind. Whose blood was on my hands and on his teeth? My world spun as I tried to get it back into order. Draco’s arm wrapped around me, trying to keep me upright.

“Ah, the little harlot,” A familiar voice cooed. “I should have known you’d be the one to stop Draco from his task.”

My eyes flashed up, meeting Bellatrix’s.

“She’s actually helped quite a bit,” Dumbledore interjected. “She has my wand, and she’s the one who made your arrival possible,”

“Shut up you old fool!” Bellatrix sneered. “Now come along little prince, we are short on time,” There was an urgency in her voice that made me hopeful that perhaps the Death Eaters hadn’t won but merely escaped.

“Draco, do it or stand aside so one of us—”

I didn’t take note into who was speaking because just then, from the door that Draco had arrived, came Snape, rushing forward and taking in the scene before him. His eyes met mine then went to Draco’s before settling onto Dumbledore’s.

“Severus...” The plead startled me. My eyes turned to Dumbledore who for the first time tonight was begging.

Snape said nothing but walked forward and pushed Draco and I roughly out of the way. Draco steadied me and we both moved to the back wall, watching the other Death Eaters—even Bellatrix fall back without a word.

Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.

“Severus... please...” Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. 

“Avada Kedavra!” It wasn’t my voice or Draco’s. But rather Snape’s.

Time around me slowed. Or maybe I could register everything around me all at once.

Dumbledore staggered back, falling, falling, falling down. Bellatrix cackled victoriously. Draco was a solace beside me, clinging to me as if I was his only lifeline.

“Out of here, quickly,” Snape ordered, glaring Draco and I down, a snarled look on his face.

He seized Draco’s cloak and forced him first through the door, with me trailing not far behind Draco. I didn’t bother to look who was behind me. Darkness fell over me and I proved blind. All I could do was cling to Draco’s robe and pray that wherever this darkness led, that there was a light somewhere at the end.

The darkness lifted as the starry night sky stretched before me letting me know that I was on the grounds of Hogwarts, not far from Hagrid’s.

“Go! Off the grounds and disapparate!” Snape ordered. “Go home!”

Draco and I stumbled as we ran through the dark. I wished nothing more than to morph into Pinnae and fly away, but I knew it was impossible. Just as we were at the outskirts of the grounds, Draco had to pull me out of the way of a bright red flash.

“Stop righ’ ‘ere!” A gruff voice called.

“Hagrid!” I called in relief until I realized I was no longer wanted here.

“Y/n?” Hagrid seemed just as confused as I was. “Wah are you doin’ ou’ wiff a bunch o’ Death Eaters?”

“I’m so sorry Hagrid,” I yelled into the darkness as Draco and I kept moving towards our freedom. “Take care of Steve, please!”

The distraction was enough to let a few black robes step foot off campus and disapparate. I turned back, a mistake, and saw Harry sprinting towards us, malice and torture in his eyes.

“I was right about you all along!” He shouted. “Don’t you dare show your face here again!”

Before I could respond, mostly just wanting to scream in frustration, Snape intersected the two of us, allowing Draco to grab my arm and pull me off the grounds.

“Y/n!” He called. “You need to disapparate! Go back to the Manor!” His eyes were wild and wide.

I nodded and wand in hand, I landed softly into the foyer of the Manor.

Of home.

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chapter 11

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[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @m4gn3tic

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are venus, the moon and the sun. you are definitely a very creative individual, you have an eye for aesthetics and you're probably very artsy as well. you are confident and you have a very charismatic personality, people usually look up to you, even though you could sometimes be quite stubborn and sensitive to criticism.

your dominant sign is taurus. you're a chill person, you prefer staying at home instead of going out and partying. you are quite stubborn, but that's because you're passionate about your ideas and beliefs. you prefer trying and take action, even if you risk to hurt yourself, instead of just standing still and observing. you find comfort helping others; it's a way to feel satisfied both with others and yourself, as you like proving your skills and talents.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

you see the world as an adventure. I feel like you typically don’t relate to sagittarius ascendant stereotypes; sag risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, but pluto being conjunct to it may change things a bit. you’re more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses. you may relate more to scorpio rising, actually. ironically, you often look sad or angry. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to pluto being conjunct the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a wide bone structure, with wider hips and/or thick thighs. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius people have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes. last but not least, you may have freckles and very curly, or at least thick, hair. you may also have very dark hair / features in general, and perhaps you have long limbs too.

gemini venus opposite sagittarius ascendant: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, even though I don’t think it’s your case. your venus is well-placed, so I don’t think there’ll be serious problems.

sagittarius ascendant square virgo jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your introverted plutonian image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much on your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius pluto: pluto, combined with your sagittarius rising makes you look a little bit naive. people may try to take advantage of you, and to defend yourself you tend to become bossy. you’re really competitive, and feel the constant need to prove others’ wrong, even though it’s not the best way to do it. in your life, you could encounter lots of enemies that may try to stop you from transforming yourself. or maybe, your grandfather is an authoritative figure in your life and in your family’s in general, and his influence has a big impact on your life. also, something I’ve noticed about pluto conjunct ascendant individuals is that they may feel unhappy when they’re young. as time goes by, they transform and become as they want, which makes them feel more satisfied with themselves.

🌞 sun in leo, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter

just like the sun, you shine brightly. you're confident, independent, brave and friendly. you're the only who can handle your life, no one can tell you who you are, what you want or what you need. sometimes you can get insecure, as you feel pressured to always be perfect. you try to be nice and kind to everyone, as you don't wanna be seen as someone unpleasant to be with. even though you may be into gossip and rumors, you try to avoid being involved with them at every cost. the thing with leo is, you're either loved or hated. no inbetween. some may admire your confidence, assertiveness and determination, others may be jealous of you. you have celebrity-like presence, you don't go overlooked. you're most probably the life of the party, and you enjoy living a life full of fun and amusement. you're also amazingly creative. with your heavy leo influence, you have the potential to do and achieve whatever you want, you're very resolute. even though you look very open to getting to know new people, you're secretly very picky about who you call your friends, or even when choosing a partner. you always try to be perfect, and hence you want someone that looks and tries just like you do.

🌙 moon in taurus, 4° / 1st decan ruled by venus

the moon is exalted in taurus, so it's definitely a good placement! you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. this placement makes you crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign. this placement, paired with your imaginative leo energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete. last but not least, you're amazingly patient, and that makes you a great friend. probably, they vent a lot of their worries to you, as you're also a great listener.

🗣 mercury in virgo, 8° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you have a very logical, pragmatic mind. ironically, this creates contrast with your leo energy, confusing you as you may act differently in different situations. you try to be as well-spoken as possible, especially with strangers, but when people get on your nerves you can’t help but kill them with your words. before expressing your opinion on a certain matter, you like making sure that your thought actually has proof to be supported. you’re very analytical, and hence you also overthink a lot. especially when it comes to people you care, you start overthinking so much about little things like late replies to messages that you create a variety of hollywood-worthy scenarios in your head. you also pay lots of attention to details, and you can’t tolerate typos and grammar mistakes. you always try to speak and write in the most correct and polite way as possible. you may have an elegant, yet neat handwriting. your voice probably sounds very calm and collected, yet you don’t have any problems speaking at a louder tone.

❤️ venus in gemini, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

this is the flirtiest, most romantic gemini decan, but also the flakiest and most indecisive. your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’. also, you talk about them with all of your friends, and you find yourself thinking costantly about them. you’re very curious of nature, but you’re only interested in getting to know what catches your eye.

gemini venus square virgo jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the clouds.

💥 mars in leo, 27° / 3rd decan ruled by the sun and mars

praise and success are what motivate you the most. your main goal in life is being praised for achieving your goals, you wouldn't feel motivated without compliments. therefore, you put energy in things that make you feel confident and noticed, as you enjoy being seen. for example, if you feel confident being well-dressed, you could spend hours in the closet to look how you want. you are very creative, you get an energy boost through creative outlets, and hence your hobbies (reading, writing, dancing, singing, drawing, etc.) recharge your battery. this placement also makes you very extra, especially with people you're close to. you may gesticulate a lot, you could as well enjoy mimicking others' voices. you're basically very dramatic, you look like an actor when you react, but at least you're very fun and entertaining to watch and listen. this placement, it gives you a strong charisma that, and combined with your sagittarius rising, it makes it impossible not to notice you. you could overreact from time to time, and you may also be particularly pessimistic, but above all you appear as someone very bold and strong-minded.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius, with also chiron placed there. you come off as someone very sympathetic and bold, you're probably the fun one in the family or in your group of friends, even though pluto's presence conjunct the ascendant may delay this energy. you are very charismatic, you have a witty sense of humor and people are always pleased to have you around, as you're able to light up the room. people always see you as someone easy to talk to, someone trustworthy. you probably have great problem-solving skills or, otherwise, you just ignore your problems and wait for time to heal. you're also quite spiritual, you may be sensitive to higher entities and you could possibly also be religious. chiron is also here: your deepest insecurity is your appearance, your identity. it may be that when you were younger, you used to struggle a lot with your appearance. you could have been bullied, or perhaps you could have suffered from an eating disorder. luckily, this placement can get better. in fact, you can gain wisdom from this wound of yours; you can heal others who have self-worth issues once you start loving yourself.

your 2nd house is in aquarius. neptune and uranus are also placed there. your relationship with money isn’t stable at all. you may often go from periods where you earn a lot of money and possessions, to other times where you lose all of them all of a sudden. same thing goes for your self-esteem, it fluctuates a lot. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. this placement makes you very creative, and hence you could make money out of your creativity. it would be a great way to find a job and become successful, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could even be a very innovative person, and with your leo sun you would make an excellent leader / boss. you could also make money through internet or with technology in general.

your 3rd house is in pisces. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. on the other hand, you may have the tendency to lie, or just being confusing in any way. you may not always express what you want crystal clear, as you want to able to modify the story just in case you encounter some hardships. also, you never truly express your feelings, probably out of fear. you’re always vague, and you keep your private matters for yourself. pisces is a mutable sign, so you may also find yourself changing ideas often, your mind wanders from one thought to another.

your 4th house is in aries. while outside you may appear as very polite, when you feel comfortable you actually become way more fiery. you’re very impulsive in your home environment, you could have been some sort of warrior in your childhood. maybe you used to argue a lot with your parents, perhaps because they were too overprotective. yet, I don't see any kind of trauma. you may have a very strong emotional bond with your family, even though you may argue often as you're all pretty sensitive and impulsive. you could be particularly attached to your mother, even though you used to argue a lot. the moon is also sitting in this house: your privacy and security are the centre of your life. you need to be and feel emotionally stable to fully take advantage of all of your skills; for example, if you argue with a loved one of yours, especially if it's someone from your family, you could get very unmotivated to do anything. you need to feel complete to function correctly, and when you can't, you rely on material goods; e.g you may overeat, buy a lot of useless things out of stress, drink... anything that apparently helps you to cope. on the other hand, you're very affectionate, even clingy at times, but your feelings are very pure. because of that, you may also be extremely sensitive, you could be afriad of others' judgment for example.

your 5th house is in taurus. you are a very creative, artistic person. you’re able to relax by watching netflix, eating, writing, painting… anything that can be done at home. you’re not the type to hang out too often or party all night, you’re more of a homebody. you could also love sleeping in, just being able to stay in bed all day wearing comfy clothes is a vacation for you. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love.

your 6th house is in gemini. in your daily routine, especially at work, you have to communicate a lot. you come in contact with lots of people, or maybe you write stuff like blogs or books. generally, you have a very hectic schedule, as you have different hobbies and appointments that you can’t abandon. this placement indicates that you may be prone to overwork yourself, as you put a lot energy in your job. you could be quite superficial in a certain sense, and you’d risk to waste your potential with as you may take your job as a challenge, for example, you need to feel mentally stimulated to like it. in fact, your ideal career has to include something that allows you to express your personal taste, ideas and interests. in this way, it won’t feel too heavy to you, and you’ll find pleasure in working. as for your health, you may have problems with your lungs. you may suffer from anxiety or asthma, for instance, or anything that doesn't allow you to breath properly.

your 7th house is in gemini. saturn and venus are also placed there. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. maybe, you're actually afraid of falling in love; or perhaps, it's the opposite: your risk-taker sagittarius energy made you jump into relationships, even if they weren't actually your priority. it may be hard for you to fall for someone, but once you do, you're totally invested in them. you're quite of a traditionalist when it comes to love; you may the type that prefers being courted, rather than court yourself. you're also quite into clichés, and you're looking for a polite and ambitious partner. someone who has a stable job, and is also wealthy. basically, someone that looks (and possibly is) rich and noble. you may also have the tendency to date people that are older than you, and possibly also soulmates from your past lives. in fact, you attract many karmic partners that are here to teach you lessons. your relationships may be quite painful, or at least they're so intense that they are hard to forget. with this placement, it's also recommended to get married after your saturn return, hence after your 28-29 years old, to avoid any kind of challenges.

your 8th house is in leo, with also your sun, mercury and mars sitting there. you have the potential to become a very successful individual, with a great amount of charisma. yet, since the 8th house is related to pluto, the malefic planet of transformation, there are some hardships to this placement. in fact, you may have the tendency to look down on people that aren’t as open-minded as you are. I have the same placement, so I understand that it’s not easy at all, but you should learn to accept respectful people’s opinions. if you do that, you’ll finally be able to glow brightly. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, mystery... you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. in addition, your sun being in leo makes you extremely charming. people are naturally attracted to you, you have a way with words, and hence you’re always able to convince others into giving you what you want. but luckily, this doesn’t turn into manipulation, you probably don’t even realize this skill of yours, and hence you don’t use it to damage others. you are very persuasive, but you don't do it on purpose, you could actually be a little naive. when you get angry, you could actually get scary, though. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down.

your 9th house is in virgo. at school you were a very diligent student; you were practical, precise and organized, you enjoyed studying at being the best in class. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. on the other hand, you're also very intelligent and open-minded above all, you could feel particularly drawn to foreign cultures and languages and you could be naturally skilled. you may also get to travel a lot or even move abroad at a certain point in your life, you're definitely a citizen of the world and you hardly ever have prejudices.

your 10th house is in libra. you have an eye for aesthetics, and you want to have a reputation for looking classy and mannered. basically a lady, but that knows how to stand up for herself. in your ideal career you need something that makes you express your need for beauty, possibly even justice. you may have a passion for poetry and literature in general, or maybe you could be particularly skilled at fashion. you have a natural talent to match colours with undertones, body shapes, vibes etc., and you could make this particular ability of yours a job. you’re also a charismatic, strong-willed speaker, hence you could also do well as a lawyer, a politician, an activist etc.

your 11th house is in scorpio. you are extremely picky with your friends. you have trust issues, probably caused by your karmic issues again, that make you secretive around your friends. you may close yourself in your shell, or maybe you actually know a lot of people, yet you only consider a few of them your friends. most of the time, you may also befriend people that try to take advantage of you, people may betray you often. or perhaps, since there’s a possibility that you understand that, you could be the one who leads the group and acts quite bossy. this is something that gets naturally better with time; actually, your friends will be of great help for you to grow up. you may have big dreams for your future, yet you may feel intimidated as they’re very intense, and hence hard to make come true. you need to pay your karmic debts in order to finally feel comfortable with others and have the motivation to achieve your long-term goals.

your 12th house is in sagittarius, and pluto is also sitting there. you're particularly interested in religion and higher beliefs, hence meditation would be effective for you. yet, you need to get enough sleep, or you could not be able to fully embrace the spirituality of this placement. you may also be able to have prophetic dreams, or at least they have a strong moral beyond them. possibly, you could make lots of good dreams, even though you do have many nightmares as well. perhaps, your dreams could bring you luck; for instance, you may dream about the winning numbers of the lottery, or maybe they may warn you about certain people or events in your life that could harm, you are strongly connected to your higher self.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract gemini, aquarius, libra, capricorn and taurus. your future spouse will most probably have capricorn, aquarius and libra placements, hence they’ll be very hard-working, intelligent and witty, but also very sarcastic and a bit moody. it may be love at first sight, and you may find them very attractive. you may also meet at work, or you're going to be introduced to them by your family or friends. you'll most likely also meet them abroad, they may be foreign or at least they have a different cultural background from yours. or perhaps, you're going to marry someone older than you, and you meet them later in your life, around your 27s/28s and so on. your children will be heavy in taurus and libra placements, hence they’ll be very creative and quite lazy too, they'll probably love eating and they will like playing around. yet, they could be a bit too stubborn and sometimes materialistic.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very fiery person, with a short-temper. she could have sometimes even been quite violent with you during your childhood, and she might have a bit of a childish behaviour. deep down, she’s actually kind of insecure with her role as a mother. she may have aries, libra or cancer placements in her chart. your father, on the other hand, is more submissive. he’s a peaceful person, even though he most probably has a passive-aggressive behaviour. you could actually have a better relationship with him rather than with your mother, or at least he understands your needs better. he may have libra, cancer or scorpio, as well as aries in his chart. if you have siblings, they most probably have pisces, capricorn or aquarius placements in their chart. you have a great relationship with them, even though it could have been a while for you to get along. overall, your relationship with them was peaceful.

📊 career

you could do well at a variety of jobs to be honest! with your gemini in the 6th house you could actually work in different fields before sticking to one career, hence you’re pretty experienced. I certainly see you being successful in your career, you will most likely work alone and you'll most likely be a boss or even famous. you're very hard-working, so I can see you having your own business for example. otherwise, you may also do well in an aesthetic field, you probably have great creative talent. you may be an artist, a creative director, a screenwriter, a writer, a singer, a musician... or even more practical jobs like lawyer, judge, possibly also a therapist or psychologist. you'll settle down on a career that will make you feel emotionally fulfilled, you'll truly enjoy what you do. you may possibly also work with other people, you may have to interact with others for your future job. you could work in a field related to public relations, or perhaps you may even work abroad or with people of different cultures from yours.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 24

transit virgo sun is currently conjunct your natal leo mars in the 8th house: you may be feeling a bit impulsive these days, you could argue easily with others so be careful with what you do or say. these arguments could be particularly painful for you, so try to avoid them. also, with transit jupiter in your 2nd house conjunct your uranus, you may come across unexpected luck in these days, so pay attention to any signs! they were most likely meant to be.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx

[kneworder]

Originally I was just going to leave this as an rb on my original post, but it got super long, so it’s getting its own. I don’t usually write meta, so I hope this makes sense, but here’re my thoughts on Klaus’ cult and how it relates to Allison!

Allison’s rumoring and Klaus’ cult are, in many ways, extremely similar, yet while one is treated as an inexcusable crime, the other is only brought in for comedic purposes.

Ultimately, Allison uses her power to take away the free will of the people around her, including those she loves. This is a direct result of her upbringing — being taught to cultivate and weaponize her ability leads her to having no real incentive not to use it, at least, until she faces consequences for it. I’m not going to try to excuse her actions, but my point is that neither is Allison: she’s making an active effort to change because she understands that what she did is wrong. This is a point directly acknowledged in-universe, what with her renouncing her ability and attempting to carve out a real life.

I don’t want to draw a false equivalency here — Klaus using his powers to exploit people because he sees it as his best possible means of survival in the completely new and extremely hostile environment that is the 1960s is extremely different from building an entire success story on top of lies and manipulation. However, it really should be addressed that starting a cult is objectively, an extremely messed up thing for him to do.

Let’s talk about cults for a moment: contrary to what Klaus and TUA might have you believe, one guy performing some unexplainable feats isn’t going to give him a following so devoted they abandon their lives for him. Cult leaders typically fall into a very specific personality type: narcissistic, manipulative, and charismatic, especially when they don’t believe in the higher purpose they preach. A cult only forms because its leader builds it, and they do that by exploiting the insecurities of its members. Someone who feels dissatisfied with life, who is suffering from societal pressure or serious mental illness, is going to be especially vulnerable to a cult’s reach.

No one joins a cult because they’re happy. No one joins a cult because it can genuinely save them. People join a cult because they want the answers and acceptance they’re not getting in their current life.

We don’t get to see too much into Destiny’s Children, but the character we get the most insight into is Jill. Jill gave up a Fulbright Scholarship to follow Klaus across the country — she willingly gave up an education that could have propelled her into an extremely successful future for him and his cult. And what does she get from him? Pithy sayings from 2000s hits? A ‘meeting of their multiple spirits’ in the sex swing? He doesn’t even remember her name!

Look, I’m not saying that Klaus is some irredeemable monster. All I’m saying is that despite how little Klaus seems to care for his cult in the canon few days we see him, he had three years previous to build his following — it didn’t just spring up out of nowhere. No matter how comically the show treats it, the creation of a cult is never going to be a benign process. People give up their lives. People give up their money. How exactly did Klaus get that mansion in Dallas? Even if it was gifted to him by the rich older woman we see him picked up by when he arrives, it would have been because she believed in his prophet status, what with his showing off his ‘levitation’ in front of her -- she would have given it to him because she believed in his lie.

Klaus exploits his followers for money and for sex, things they give him because they’ve completely bought into his proselytizing. I would argue that no matter how much they may claim otherwise, these are not things they’re capable of giving away of their own free will, they’re things they’re giving away under the false pretense of Klaus’ false godhood.

And this is where Allison comes back in. Allison’s power is, quite literally, manipulation. She is constantly reminding herself and others that working to give that up is deeply important, that no matter how terrible a person is, she doesn’t have the right to take away their free will. Klaus, on the other hand, has quite literally brainwashed himself an entire following. They treat him as a god and his words as scripture, they’re willing to tend to his every whim and every need. Yet unlike Allison, Klaus doesn’t seem to care that he’s essentially stripped these people of their free will. He only regrets the cult because their devotion is irritating, not because he actually cares for his members. Cults ruin lives, and Klaus being its leader does not make Destiny’s Children the exception.

Contrary to how it may sound, I actually don’t have a problem with this writing choice. I think finally getting to use his powers, which have been nothing but a source of suffering, to make himself rich and powerful is an extremely in-character thing for Klaus to do. He’s still struggling with addiction, he’s still mourning Dave, he’s been stripped of everything and everyone he’s ever known by the time jump: Klaus isn’t doing great himself. But, just as Allison’s upbringing doesn’t excuse her actions, Klaus’ circumstances don’t excuse his.

The only person who ever seems to acknowledge how genuinely messed up Klaus’ actions were is Ben, and even that can be dismissed as having ulterior motives because of Ben’s crush on Jill. My point is that in many ways, Allison and Klaus are guilty of very similar offenses. But while Allison’s entire character arc revolves around hers, Klaus’ are treated as comedic background noise.

Again, I don’t necessarily think this is poor writing, or something terribly out of character. I just wish the writers (and the fandom) would acknowledge that for a show that puts so much emphasis on the importance of free will, maybe having a character become a literal cult leader is something that should be addressed!

(Thank you to @chrrysodas​ for expressing interest, sorry this turned out stupidly long!!)

[calpalirwin]

BUB

Summary: What’s better than your best girl and best mate getting along? Well, nothing really. If you knew the rumors were false, that is. 

A/N: You’ve heard of enemies to lovers. You’ve heard of fake-dating to real dating. Might I introduce a new trope called hostility turned platonic friendship turned stand-in boyfriend? Aka my brain child with @here-for-the-uproars​

Content: Swearing, general tom-foolery.

DISCLAIMER: NOT A poly!Cashton or poly!5sos fic!!!!

Need to catch up? Part 1 Part 2

And away, and away we go!

Part 3

“Oh, I’m never gonna be able to get up there,” Sam said, eyeing the bunk beds in the tour bus. She graduated with her doctorate and as a graduation present, her boss was letting her take the summer off to go on tour with Ashton. “You’re only young once, Sam,” the older lady said with a knowing wink. “Go enjoy yourself. Your job will still be here when you get back.”

“There’s a ladder right there, baby,” Ashton told her, pointing.

“I’m gonna bang my head so much…”

“Yeah you are,” Ashton winked, grabbing her ass.

“Fletch,” she laughed, turning in his arms to face him. “I’m serious. Can you switch with Cal?”

“If I do that, then I can’t do this,” he pouted, spinning her back around and lifting her into the bunk with fluid ease.

“Hey. Hey!” Sam squealed as she landed on the soft mattress pad. “Oh, this is cozier and bigger than I pictured,” she commented, laying down in the bunk.

Ashton giggled as he rested his arms against his bunk. “Yeah, we had to do some remodeling of sorts when Luke decided to become six and a half feet tall!” He said the last part a bit louder so Luke could hear.

“I’m 6’2” at best!” came the retort from the living room area of the bus.

Ashton and Sam laughed. “Anyway, now they’re long enough for GIRAFFES and wide enough for when the girls come along.”

“And still too tall for me,” Sam finished.

“Again, there’s a ladder right there.”

Sam wrinkled up her nose. “Nah, I like it better when you lift me.”

“Me too,” Ashton agreed with a flirty wink.

“You need to learn to keep your hands to yourself,” Sam giggled, playfully swatting at his hands.

“Can’t,” Ashton said simply. “One, I always gotta be doing something with my hands. Two, you’re way too hot, baby.”

“You’re right about the first part,” she agreed with another giggle. The drummer had the worst case of restless hands she’d ever encountered. A restlessness she was more than happy to take full advantage of. “As for the sec-”

“Also true,” he cut her off, leaning into the bunk to kiss her.

~~~

“Ugh, my head,” Sam whined, hands pressing to her temple. At two weeks of tour life, the loudness mixed with the bright lights were beginning to make her head spin. Even when it was dark, it wasn’t dark enough.

“You okay, baby?” Ashton asked, concern written across his face as he tugged her closer to him.

“Whoa, don’t do that,” she said, pushing at him, feeling the pain slosh around in her skull.

Ashton frowned. “Do you wanna go lie down in the bunk?”

“You won’t be mad?” Sam asked, her eyes squinting. Some Motrin and a quiet tour bus sounded like fuckin’ heaven. 

He shook his head. “No. If you don’t feel good, you don’t feel good.”

“I can lay down in here, Fletch,” Sam protested, feeling bad anyway. She had come to watch his shows, not get sidelined by a damn migraine.

“Nope, bus, c’mon,” he said standing up and gently tugging her to her feet.

“Okay, okay,” she laughed weakly. “But, I can go to the bus myself. You’ll be late if you walk with me.”

Ashton was about to protest, but he thought better of it. He knew hoisting her into his bunk would make it hard to focus and he definitely couldn’t cause his band to miss their cue because he got handsy with his girlfriend ten minutes before they were supposed to go on. “Alright then,” he said, kissing her forehead. Get some rest if you can. I’ll be there as soon as I get done and shower.”

She nodded her head barely. “Mmkay. Love you. Break a leg.”

“Love you too, baby,” he smiled, placing another kiss on her forehead.

“Oh, fuck this…” Sam muttered as she stared up at Ashton’s bunk on the bus. She reached on tiptoe to pull her blanket down, but no way in hell was she climbing up there with her head pounding like it was. She swallowed the Motrin with a swig of water and pushed back Calum’s curtain on the lower bunk before crawling inside and trying to get some sleep.

Ashton was the first one on the bus after practically sprinting backstage to change and shower, wanting to check on Sam, Calum on his heels. 

“Baby?” Ashton called out softly, drawing back his curtain. “What the fuck?” he muttered when he didn’t see her there. He could hear her snoring softly, but where the fuck was she? He frowned, crouching down to the bottom bunk and pulling back Calum’s curtain. He smiled when he saw her curled up and fast asleep. “Baby?” Ashton whispered, nudging her gently awake. “Baby, I’m here.”

“Shh, sleeping,” Sam mumbled at him, a hand swatting him away.

“Baby, you’re in Cal’s bunk. C’mon, gotta move ya up a floor.”

“No!” She rolled further into the bunk. “Too high. Couldn’t reach. Didn’t listen.” The broken sentences fell from her lips, a charming characteristic she only did when she was dead tired.

Ashton chuckled. “I’m sorry, baby. But I’m here now. C’mon, I’ll lift you in.”

“Too warm. Bed cold.”

“Hey, mate can you move? I’m exhausted,” Calum’s voice sounded.

“Trying Cal. Someone won’t move, though.”

Sam smiled at Calum’s voice. “Bub bed warm. Fletch bed cold. I stay. You shh,” she continued to speak in broken sleepy sentences.

Ashton and Calum shared a glance. Both men knew that moving a sleepy Sam meant death. The woman may sound cute when she was in a sleep state like this, but she was also mad as hell if you dared disturb her. Calum shoved passed Ashton and crawled into his bunk. “Night, mate,” Calum told Ashton, drawing the curtain closed. 

Ashton drew the curtain back open with a sharp pull. “So, I’m supposed to sleep by myself? In my cold bunk?”

Sam nodded, already curled up against Calum. “Should listen. Sam smart, ‘member? Sam doctor.”

Ashton rolled his eyes playfully. “I can’t believe I just got bubbed in my own relationship…”

“You Fletch. He bub. I’m baby princess,” Sam explained.

“Well, move over cuz Fletch is coming in,” Ashton said definitively, crawling in the bunk.

“What?! No!” Calum protested as Ashton’s body pressed into his. “It’s too small for three people!”

“Shut up and pass me my baby,” Ashton muttered, pulling Sam across Calum’s chest and onto his. “There, we’ll sleep side by side, and she can sleep right here on top of me.”

“If you start fucking, I’m shoving you both out,” Calum grumbled. “Now, close the damn curtain, and let me sleep.”

“Mmm, Fletch,” Sam mumbled happily, nuzzling her face into Ashton’s neck. “And bub,” she added, a hand patting Calum’s chest affectionately. “Love my boys.”

“And we love our girl,” Ashton murmured into her hair. “Go back to sleep, baby. We gotcha.”

In the morning, Calum was curled up in Sam’s blanket, his own blanket still trapped underneath him and Ashton. “Hey!” Sam said, snatching back her blanket. “Blanket thief.”

“Bed thief,” Calum retorted, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I was cold.”

“So was I!”

“Bullshit, you slept on a heater!” Calum told her, pushing Ashton’s shoulder. 

“He was right next to you all night! How were you cold?”

“How were you cold?!”

“I wasn’t. I just want my blanket.”

“Shut up!” Mike grumbled from further down the row of bunks. 

“Sorry, Mikey. Want me to make pancakes?” Sam called out.

“Yes, please.”

~~~

“Yeah, um how much fabric do you think it would take to make a blanket for two people in love and one blanket thief?” Ashton asked the lady at the counter. “Say they’re all about this big?” he added, gesturing at himself, Calum, and Sam.

“He’s joking,” Sam put in quickly as the lady gave them all a weird look. “Can you point us in the direction of your king sized blankets?”

“Aisle 4,” the lady said, pointing. 

“Thank you,” Sam smiled brightly, skipping off in the direction of the pointed finger. 

~~~

“Okay,” Mike said, his green eyes worried as he eyed Sam sandwiched between Ashton and Calum on the couch. “Real talk. Are you a throuple?”

“We’re not judging,” Luke added. “We just… the nightly cuddling… we’re your friends. You can tell us.”

Ever since her migraine two weeks ago, all three of them had been sleeping in Calum’s bunk. Sam on the premise that it was easier to get into, despite Ashton buying her a collapsible stool; Calum on the premise that it was his bunk and he wasn’t switching; and Ashton on the premise that he slept where Sam slept. And with the king sized blanket solving the blanket thief problem, all three had come to enjoy the new sleeping arrangement more than they cared to ever admit out loud.

The not-a-throuple laughed at the blondes before Sam answered, “It’s just nice to be held. I mean, I’ve personally never slept better. It’s fun too. Like a fort almost.”

“And there’s a strict no funny business in Fort Hood,” Calum interjected.

Sam rolled her eyes. “It’s Fort Rhythm, bub. Fort Hood is already taken.”

“I like cuddles and forts…” Luke pouted.

“Focus!” Mike told him. “So, not a throuple?” The attention was back on the three on the couch.

Three head shakes with a uniform, “Nope.”

“So, can we build a fort?” Luke asked.

~~~

“Who needs mattress pads when I can do THIS!” Sam laughed, sprawling across all four men after Fort Luke Sucks Balls was manifested in the living room area of the tour bus. “Oh, damn partner… I knew you were broad shouldered, but damn, you are an actual giant.”

“Watch that mouth of yours,” Ashton growled playfully, grabbing at her chin as her head moved to lay on his chest.

“You know what?” she asked, readjusting herself across her human pillows. “Just for that, you get stuck with my feet,” she giggled, wiggling her toes in his face.

“Bad idea, baby,” Ashton said, gripping her ankles in one hand and tickling her with the other.

“No! Stop!” she squealed, her weight constantly shifting on the other men-earning protested groans- as she lunged forward to try and pry Ashton’s hand off her feet. “Stop! Please!” She continued to fight between laughs, tears falling down her cheeks as she fought for breath. “Fletcher!”

At the full middle name usage he stopped immediately. “I told you it was a bad idea.”

“Tickle me again and you’re out of Fort Rhythm.”

“You can’t kick me out of the fort that you half named after me!”

“Hey, bub, wanna teach me how to play drums so we can kick Fletch out of Fort Rhythm?”

“Can you replace him in the band, too?” Calum smirked.

“Alright, I won’t tickle you,” Ashton relented. Then, with a dangerous smirk, “Fellas?”

Three pairs of hands started ticking Sam’s feet and ribs while she screamed and squirmed. “No! Stop it! Someone’s gonna get hurt!” Sam’s voice echoed around the bus and almost like her words willed it to be true, she smacked Ashton straight in the face. 

“Motherfucker!” Ashton winced in pain, a hand cradling his cheek. “Alright stop!”

The tickling ceased and Sam scrambled to Ashton. “Shit, Fletch, are you okay?!”

“Fuck, I’m glad that wasn’t a fist,” Ashton grumbled, removing his hand from his bright red cheek. 

Sam’s blue eyes went wide before her lips were on his cheek, feeling the heat from her unintentional slap. “Fuck, Fletch, I’m so sorry!”

“Duly noted. No tickling in Fort Luke Sucks Balls,” Ashton continued to grumble. 

“Or sex,” Calum added. 

“Anything else?” Mike asked, getting up and moving to the kitchen area, rummaging around. 

“Name change!” Luke shouted. 

“Admit you’re 6’4”!” was the unison retort before Sam went back to apologizing profusely to Ashton. 

“Baby, I’m fine,” Ashton assured her.

“I’m so sorry!”

“It was my fault.”

“You’re right, but I’m still sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I’d hate to have you hit for me real. Damn, woman,” he said with a proud small smile. His girlfriend kicked ass.

“Alright, here,” Mike declared, waving everyone over to him. “Sign,” he instructed, handing Luke the bottle of mustard. 

“What the fuck?” they all laughed, looking at the tortilla that had the following written in ketchup:

Fort Luke Sucks Balls Rules

No sex of any kind

No tickling 

The makeshift contract already bore Mike’s initials in mustard. The bottle of mustard got passed around as they all added their initials to it.

“Can we all watch a movie now or something?” Sam asked once the aptly named Tortilla Treaty was signed. 

“Mean Girls?” Luke suggested. 

With the fort named at his expense, they all agreed that watching the movie of his choice was more than a fair arrangement.

“You know there’s plenty of space in here, Fletch,” Sam whispered once they all got comfortable in the fort. “You don’t have to be shoulder to shoulder with bub.”

“I know. Just gotten used to it I guess.”

Sam moved so she was lying on top of Ashton. “Me too,” she agreed, her face nuzzling into Ashton’s neck, a hand resting affectionately on Calum’s chest. 

“Hey, no sex,” Mike’s voice piped up before a piece of popcorn flew in their direction. “And not a throuple my ass.”

“Look, if you want Sam cuddles, just ask. You don’t gotta be rude about it,” Sam joked, tossing the piece of popcorn back at Mike who caught it in his mouth.

“Okay, I want Sam cuddles,” Mike relented, holding open his arms. “Get over here, queen.”

“What about me? I want Sam cuddles,” Luke put in, crossing his arms across his chest in a mock-pout.

“And none for Luke Hemmings!” Sam laughed at him, before sandwiching herself between both blondes.

The bunks weren’t slept in for the rest of the tour and monthly fort cuddles were added to the BUB Accords when they all got home.

_____

Tag List (Wanna join? Just ask)

@goeatsomelife​ @flameraine​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @here-for-the-uproars​ @cxddlyash​ @1-irwin-94​ @baldcalum​ @sparkling-chaos​

[brbaabs]

The Dornish Bird - Chapter 5

Hello, dear readers! I’m finally back with this update, I’m sorry a took so long. 

As I said in our last update, the story is getting darker with each passing chapter. As you already know, lady reader is going to King’s Landing, and we all know how angsty the journey will be, especially for the Stark girls. That being said, this will be the last part of the “calm before storm” mood we’ve been seeing so far. Prepare yourselves to say goodbye to the Stark Household for a loooong time.

So, you guys shared your thoughts and I made my decision: The Smut is coming! I’ll let my imagination go wild (in a good way, of course) very soon, so you’ll have a taste of our reader’s intimate life. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do, hahaha!

Today’s song is chill, but the lyrics are deep. Here you go!

Word count: 2.105

After her last dinner with the Stark family, (Y/n) felt numb.

She was happy to be with them, to dine with her friends and Lords one last time before her whole life changed for good. That last feast was a parting gift from her Lady, a token to be cherished in darker times. It was a memory (Y/n) would hold close from her heart and treasure for the rest of her life. She was thankful.

And yet, her heart yearned for one last thing before her departure.

She needed to see Jon.

-------------------------

Her knuckles hit the wooden door three times. It was their signal. Every time the girl had a problem, she would knock on Jon’s door in the middle of the night. That way, no one would see them together, and rumors would not be falsely spread around the Stark’s home. (Y/n) needed her friend, not a dirty gossip to worry about.

However, it took longer to that friend to open the door for her this time. She cursed lightly, looking around nervously. She could not be caught at Jon’s chambers at night, now more than ever.

When the lad finally opened his door, (Y/n) rushed inside and closed the door behind her. Jon was quite used to that behavior after two years of friendship, but her actions bothered him this time. His head was pounding like a heart, and all he wanted was to lay down on his bed and sleep for a hundred years.

"I need to talk to you." The girl said. "It could not wait until tomorrow, I would perish if I had to wait that long."

Jon remained silent, watching the girl move around his chambers like she owned the place. (Y/n) took off her hood and sit on Jon's bed, breathing deeply to calm herself down. She looked about to explode, the boy knew that side of her too well. 'If I just listen, perhaps she'll be out soon.' He thought.

"I will go to King's Landing to be Sansa's handmaiden." She said. "When I come back... I think I'll marry your brother."

Jon nodded. He had heard the news from Theon earlier. Apparently, the Greyjoy wasn't too pleased with (Y/n)'s new status. Jon took the news like a punch in his guts.

"It's such a great honor, my father wouldn't believe it." The girl spoke again. "My mother always told me I would meet a good man, fall in love and live with him in a small cabin somewhere around Westeros. I never dreamed of becoming a lady. I admired House Stark for so long, and now I'm Robb's bride."

She took a deep breath and bit her lower lip. Her sigh was glued on the ground, but her mind was far away. Many thoughts crossed her mind, bringing old and new fears to the light as she wondered. Her delicate hand pressed her chest gently. Her teeth sank deep in her soft lip.

"It's such an honor." She mumbled. "Such an honor, and yet..."

She sighed, closing her eyes.

"I don't know if I can do it, Jon."

The lad's heart trembled. He stared at (Y/n)'s figure, carefully studying her form. Her shoulders were tense. She breathed slowly, moving her chest slightly. Her legs were shaking discreetly, but Jon could see it's movements. Her (E/c) eyes were shut tightly, and she was subtly retracting her form like a scared dog.

She was terrified.

"I should not be such a baby." She mumbled. "I should not hide like a coward, or complain like a spoiled brat. I'm so fortunate to be allowed to walk among these noble people, to sit at their table and speak to them as I was equally noble. The Gods blessed me with the biggest honor I could ever win. I shouldn't be scared."

She gulped hard.

"But I know I'm not worthy." (Y/n) spoke softly. "I can not do this, I should not do this."

Jon's heart ached with her words.

(Y/n) was the most fabulous girl in Winterfell in his eyes. He could not think of a single flaw in her. From her appearance to her character, she was extraordinary. Now his core ached with her hard words about herself. If he could just reveal what he truly felt about her... Everything would be different.

But, inside his weary heart, he knew it was impossible. 

He could not love (Y/n).

She would never be his.

The young man sighed heavily. He closed his eyes for a second, thinking about his future. He did not tell her about his decision to go to The Wall. It would be easier to keep that from her and go without saying goodbye. She would return to Winterfell to marry Robb at some point, but Jon would not be there. They would never see each other again. She would be furious and hurt, but there would be nothing she could do. Her husband would be another man. It would be a sharp cut, but her heart would heal on Robb's hold.

But Jon couldn't do it. He couldn't reap her out of his heart like that. He needed to see her reaction. He needed to know what she felt about him. It wouldn't change anything, but it would make him feel slightly better.

"I need to tell you something." He muttered.

His voice sounded harsh, but (Y/n) heard his words. Immediately, she dried her eyes before any tear could fall, and smiled warmly to her friend.

"So you're finally going to tell me what's happening?" She asked.

Even with her playful speech, Jon could tell she was distressed. Hurting her as the last thing he wanted, but he was out of choice. Ending their relationship now would be easier.

"I'm going to The Wall with uncle Benjen." He stated. "I'll join the Night’s Watch."

The air left (Y/n)'s lungs.

She gasped, shocked. Her (E/c) eyes looked at Jon's face, searching for his brown ones. He avoided her gaze and turned around to face the wall. 

"What?" She whined. "You can't be serious, this is madness, Jon! Why would you leave your family?"

He gulped hard but didn't turn around. He knew it would be impossible to hide his true feeling from her if he looked into her eyes.

"I know it." He said. "It was my decision."

Now staring at his back, (Y/n) felt her shock turning into rage. Jon could not do this, he could not abandon his siblings and his father simply as that. She knew he had always thought about visiting The Wall with Bran in the future, but it should be just a distant dream. Now Bran's life was at risk, and Jon wanted to leave him? That wasn't like him.

"Why?" She asked. "When did you made that decision?"

Jon sensed her body getting closer to him. He took a step forward to get away from her because he could not let her see his sad face, but (Y/n) took it as an act of refusal. In her troubled mind, Jon wanted to stay away from her.

"Jon, listen to me." She tried. "This isn't like you at all! Why are you avoiding me? Why are you leaving your home? Is this what you want? To never come back?"

"Don't do that." He mumbled.

Jon stepped away from her again, going to the other side of the room this time. He inhaled deeply, biting his lower lip for a second. What could he say to make her leave? He could not see suffer because of him any longer. The sooner he left, the better. She would be free from him.

"I know what it will cost me. I know exactly what I'll have to do." He said. "This was never my home, (Y/n). I don't belong here. They are not my family, they are my lords and ladies. And soon you'll be my lady too. You know I cannot stay here. The Wall is where I should be."

He sighed, shutting his eyes.

"I cannot be any woman's husband or any child's father." He said. "It is for the best, at least my life won't be a nuisance anymore. I can be useful to the Watch, but I have no meaning here."

His words crushed the girl's heart. 

"This is not true, Jon! Are you saying this because of Lady Catelyn?" She mumbled. "Of course you have meaning, you're not a nuisance. How can you say these things about yourself? By The Seven, you're so important. Lady Catelyn may not like you, but your siblings do. And your father too!"

She stood up to go in his direction. Jon could hear her muffled footsteps but did nothing to avoid her approaching. He knew she was a stubborn girl. If she wanted to reach him, he was not capable of escaping her advances.

"I love my Lady with all my heart, but she is wrong about you. She has always been." Her voice reached him before her touch. She put her palm on his back in a light caress. Jon's body shivered with the contact. He could almost feel her hand's warmth through his clothes. He was familiar with the touch of her skin, but he never would be prepared to be touched by her.

"You're loved here, Jon. More than you can see." She muttered to him.

Jon's heart was beating so hard that the boy was sure (Y/n) was able to hear it. His eyes burned with tears he couldn't release. The only thing he wanted was to turn around and take that wonderful girl in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to take her face in his hands, look deep into her eyes and profess all the words he knew he should never dare to say. He could burn in hell for this, but he would never regret it.

But it would ruin (Y/n)'s life forever. He didn't deserve her.

"I really want to go, (Y/n)." He mumbled hoarsely. "Don't make it sound like a bad thing. It is what I wish, please respect my decision as I respect yours."

(Y/n) was broken by his words. She wasn't angry anymore. At that moment, all she could feel was her heart shattering inside her chest. The girl breathed deeply, feeling her eyes ache. Burning tears wet her cheeks as she silently absorbed her best friend's last words. Even with his insistence, she would never be able to understand. She knew the truth. 

They would never see each other again.

Gulping hard, the girl stepped back. With the distance regained, Jon could breathe again. He could feel her gaze upon his back, burning through his flesh and bones to reach his very soul.

"I guess this is a farewell then." She said.

Jon wanted to answer, but words got lost in their way. Seeing his silence as a reply, (Y/n) nodded to herself before turning around an heading to the exit. Each movement of her body hurt like a stab in her chest, but she did not stop until her hand grabbed the door handle.

She hesitated, though. His last phrase spun in her mind, digging their way inside her brain. His wrong assumptions disturbed her more than his decision. If he believed she had anything to do with her Lady's command, he certainly didn't know her very well.

"I did not choose this." She said, her voice cold as ice. "I wish you good fortune on your future, Snow. I hope you find a real family there."

She opened the door and left. Hearing her moving away, Jon felt her last words falling upon shoulders. He let himself cry as his body collapsed in the cold ground. He could not feel his knees hurt. Nothing could possibly injure more than his heart.

(Y/n) was right as always. It hadn't been her choice or his. They could not choose their own destiny. Both of them would have to live over someone else's decision. He would be an invisible man, just another bastard supplying the Watch. And she would marry a man she didn't love, birt his children and live far from her homeland for the rest of her life. She was right, they would never meet again. In a couple of months, the Dornish girl would be only a distant memory. The future Jon wanted to build with her would be nothing more than a dream.

An unreachable fantasy.

-------------------------

That’s it for today, thanks for reading!  Reblog to help me, leave a comment if you liked this chapter.

Tag List: @evilunicorns4minions,  @black-widow-fangirl,  @aristocracy-y,  @aspiring-fangirls-world,  @thedeacywaltz,  @riddlersriddlet,  @nialeesato,  @peachyblinderss, @psychosupernatural

I hope I’m not forgetting anyone.  If you wish to be tagged as well, please tell me. Thank you all!

~ See ya!

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (1)

Ao3 | FF.net

The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge.But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns.Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ.

Set two years up from season three.

PLEASE NOTE:

This story starts out kinda rough, but in oncoming chapters, there will be graphic torture of the physical, emotional, and mental nature. But I WILL NOT be writing anything sexually graphic. It would make sense, in terms of story, but I just don't want to.

--

Three years was a long time to fight against one man. Hundreds of Akuma, thousands of frightened citizens, and yet they were no more closer to finding Hawkmoth than day one. He came out when it was convenient for him.

Because of the continued attacks, Paris was starting to grow concerned. It came out on forums and political talks on TV.

What was taking Ladybug and Chat Noir so long? What were they doing? Why haven’t they stopped him yet?

It started out slowly, and just in the most radical groups. But as time went on, more and more jumped on the band wagon.

Ladybug’s saving grace was the Ladyblog, that always reported every detail of any Ladybug related news. And Alya, reporter that she was, was quick to remind everyone that Ladybug fixed all damage that was done, and criticizing them wasn’t helping.

Still, concern and restlessness persisted in the back of minds.

But Ladybug and Chat Noir persisted in their promise to protect. They patrolled more often, and started to branch out into other crime fighting. Thieves, muggers, carjackers, pickpockets, any sort of criminal was taken care of.

But since they weren’t the police, there was no arrests made. It was mostly just a slap on the wrist and making them return what they’ve stolen. It was effective in the moment, and helped ease some minds about the heroes.

Then came Edward Savauge.  

If there ever was a god on earth, it was Mr. Savauge. A man who held no qualms about doing what needed to be done in business. He held all the cards, could pull any string, and had a lot of people wrapped around his fingers.

By trade, a drug dealer, a pimp, and a casino owner. And he excelled in all of those areas. Ask most people, they had either never heard of him, or pretended not to.

The most powerful man on earth, and his existence was only a rumor.

Until that fateful night when Ladybug and Chat Noir did their evening patrols.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start in the morning, when Marinette and Adrien had to face what would become a minor problem.

Yet felt like the world was crashing down around them.

Marinette’s alarm blared some awful tune at maximum volume. She jumped, flailing, not knowing where she was in her sleep addled mind.

“That’s one way to wake up.” Tikki snickered, having also been startled.

Marinette sat up, her hair a tangled mess, and her legs twisted in her sheets. Blearily, she blinked to wake herself up. What a crummy night’s sleep. It was too hot with the sheets, too cold without them. The bed was just a little lumpy. And there had been an firetruck at work down the street. (Ladybug had checked in. It was just a false alarm) but the truck had remained there for at least an hour with its lights on.

“The point of setting the alarm was to make you actually get up and get to school on time.” Tikki chastised.

Marinette turned her bleary eyes on the floating red dot, and tossed her blanket over it.

“Hey!”

“Snooze.”

“I don’t work like that Marinette! Come on!” She phased through the comforter. “Don’t you want to see Adrien?”

Marinette smiled. “Adrien…” Then she groaned. “Fine!” She actually got up, throwing her blankets off, and got out of bed. Her hair took too long to untangle, her clothes were just a little too tight, or a little too itchy. And despite waking up early, she was still running late.

She threw her hands up into the air in the courtyard. “Anything else wanna go wrong today!? Go on! Take your best shot!”

Oh, how she regretted that.

She walked into the classroom, five minutes before the bell, and the room fell absolutely silent. Lila was sitting on a desk as everyone was gathered around her, but as Marinette entered, they all turned to look at her. The other thing of important note, was that Adrien’s face was bright red and he looked absolutely mortified.

This was very not good.

“G-Good morning?” She asked, tactfully, hoping to break the silence.

“Girl…you’re not serious…”

Marinette looked down at her clothes. She wasn’t wearing her pajamas, right? She didn’t have any embarrassing stains on her clothes, nothing on backwards. “Um…what?”

Alix crossed her arms with a ‘hmph,’ “You know very well what we’re talking about, pervert.”

Pervert? That was really really not good. “I’m…I’m sorry? I’m not sure what you’re talking about?”

Kim backed Alix up. “Lila just spilled. She said she caught you taking pictures of Adrien while he was changing in the locker room.”

Marinette’s eyebrows flew up to her hairline. “I would never do that!”

Alya couldn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know, girl…you tend to go overboard when it comes to Adrien…”

“But I didn’t!”

“I’m sorry Marinette,” Lila said, pathetic little snivels between words. “I saw you, and I wasn’t going to say anything, because it’s none of my business, but…Adrien is my friend. He deserved to know. Everyone deserved to know.”

She dared to look at Adrien, who still was red and extremely embarrassed. “I would never do that to you.” She told him.

“I believe you.” He assured, but his eyes darted away.

Lila had hit hard and right in the weak spot. Adrien couldn’t support her here, because how would he know?

“Everyone knows you’re basically a stalker,” Alix said again. “Everyone has seen all of his pictures all over your walls.”

“And don’t forget that you have his schedule all written out.” Added Mylene. “And all those plans you made so that you could just be alone together.”

“Marinette, you’re obsessed. And you definitely crossed a line here. You need serious help.” Alya said, concern in her features.

Marinette frowned, her chest unbelievably tight, and her eyes prickling with the tears of betrayal. “So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Fine.” She took off her bag, and placed in at her desk, then she stood in the front of the room, and addressed her peers.

“I’m in love with Adrien Agreste.” She announced.

Adrien looked to her, his mouth opening slightly. He didn’t know how far this lie went, but it seemed pretty steep.

“I figured out his schedule, and made a calendar, so I could know where he was at any given point in the day. Because I wanted to be able to find him if I ever actually got up the courage to talk to him. I think he’s super cute, so I hung pictures of him all over my room. And that was easy, since he was a model.” She let out a sob, as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Bless her heart, Rose started crying too.

She rubbed her cheek with her fist, and sniffed, but continued. “I stole his phone once. I called and left the world’s most embarrassing voicemail. So I stole his phone and deleted it before he could hear it.”

Lila just sat there, looking smug and triumphant. Though no one else saw it, since they were all focused on Marinette.

“Every week, I made a special macaron, passion fruit, just for him. But I never got the courage to ever give it to him. I stole a note he threw away in the trash, that was a love letter for someone, and I dared to hope it was for me, so I responded to it. I even tried to kiss a wax statue of him at the museum…only it turned out it was actually Adrien, and not a statue.”

There was some snickering at that.

“So yeah. I love Adrien. I don’t always think clearly when it comes to him. But I’m a dumb teenager, and I’m allowed to make mistakes and do cringey things.”

She wiped her face and swallowed hard. “But I swear, on all that is good and holy, that I have never taken pictures of him in any context without his permission. I respect him too much for that.” Then she took out her phone, unlocked it, and placed it in front of Adrien. “To prove it, I want you to go through my photos. If there’s any of you that shouldn’t be seen, you’ll be the only one to see them.”  

So the class waited in silence as Adrien swiped through her phone. He checked her recents, and then some other albums, including the biggest one labelled ‘Adrien <3’

“There’s…a lot of pictures of me…” he said sheepishly. “But none of me changing. They all look like they were saved from shoots. Which…isn’t that weird.”

“So,” Marinette spoke up, evening her glare at Lila. “One of us is lying, and it isn’t me.”

Lila pouted, and said with an irritatingly concerned voice, “Well, I’m just glad that you recognized what you were doing was wrong, and decided to delete the pictures.”

Marinette punched the table, overcome with palpable rage.

Adrien glanced around the room, keeping a watch for an akuma. Doubtless, one was on the way.

Marinette seemed to notice this gesture, and took a massive breath. When she spoke, her voice was eerily calm. “What did I do? What made all of you suddenly so eager to distrust me? Since when did I become a liar?”

“Marinette...” Alya tried to say.

“You doomed yourself, Dupain-Cheng.” Said Chloe, speaking for the first time. “If you were willing to do all that other stuff, what’s stopping you from doing this?”

“Because it’s not only wrong, it’s a felony.” She returned.

“So is stealing a phone.”

“I gave it back!” She nearly shouted. “Yes! I get it! I…I have a problem…but I wouldn’t do this. Please believe me, I wouldn’t.”

“But Lila saw you…”

“She’s lying! She’s always lying! All she’s ever done is lied!”

“Marinette,” Lila said, hiding her face in her hands, hiding the fact she wasn’t even crying. “All I ever wanted was to be your friend, but you let your jealousy get in the way of it. You need to face the truth.”

“The truth?” Marinette let out a humorless laugh. “The truth is that I have done everything I could to help everyone in this room. I bent over backwards to arrange parties, to make banners, give encouragement, talk to teachers, stand up to bullies! And the moment I need support, everyone is gone! There’s no proof! No evidence! Just some faked tears from a girl who has lied to get attention.”

She snatched her backpack up from her desk. “Congratulations Lila, you made good on your threat. You’ve turned everyone against me, just like you said you would. But I’m ending things on my own terms.” She glanced around the room. “If you ever need me again, think twice.” She shouldered her backpack to leave, and then looked at Adrien.

He had tears in his eyes, his heart breaking for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “For all the immature stuff I did. I…I still love you. I hope you can forgive me.”

Then she bolted, without looking back.  

—

Back at home, Marinette darted into the bakery.

“Marinette! Why are you home? Oh goodness, what happened?” Sabine noticed her daughter’s distress almost immediately.

“Girls are catty and stupid!” She cried out.

Sabine took off her apron and called to her husband. “Tom, I need you to take over the register! Marinette needs me.”

“Okie dokie darling!”

Sabine led her upstairs, as she sobbed and squeaked out everything that had happened. Sabine just held her, hushing her silently.

“And-And then I just…I just left! I didn’t know what else to do!”

“No, honey, leaving was a good idea. That was a terrible thing for your so-called friends to do.” She handed her a cup of tea. “Don’t even worry, darling. I’ll make sure to pick up any homework you miss. There’s no reason for you to have to see your classmates, unless they come groveling and begging for forgiveness.”

Marinette managed a laugh. “Thanks maman.”

Sabine kissed her on the forehead. “So what do you want to do? Wanna watch a movie? Or play some games?”

Marinette shook her head. “I…I just want to be alone for a while.”

Sabine seemed hesitant, the thought of an akuma taking her daughter…

“I’ll be okay. I’m just kind of tired from all the crying. I’m going to lay down. Maybe I’ll watch some funny videos.”

“Okay, honey. but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call for me.” She gave her another kiss, and then returned to the bakery.

Tikki appeared the moment they were alone. “Marinette…” She sniveled. “I’m so sorry…”

“Oh Tikki…” She cupped her in her hands, holding her gently to her cheek. “Thank you. I’m so glad you’re with me.”

“I won’t leave you alone for a second.” The kwami insisted. “Not until you’re smiling again.”

Marinette stood and went upstairs, closing the door behind her. “Will you keep watch?”

“Of course.”

She hooked up her phone to her speakers, and started blasting Jagged Stone as loud as she could stand. The bass rattled in her chest and the shred of the guitar numbed her skull. Over the next few minutes, she went around and yanked every last picture of Adrien off her walls.

When the song ended, and the walls were bare, she collapsed on her chaise, spent and exhausted.

[angelaiswriting]

The Assistant (8 of ?) | Vladimir Ranskahov x reader

[original picture: pinterest]

✏️ Pairings:

(eventual) Vladimir Ranskahov x fem!reader

Anatoly Ranskahov x OC (Paulina)

probably other pairings in the future

✏️ Requested by @kellydixon01  : Y/N–hacker, big mouth, even bigger attitude–is the new addition to Fisk’s team. Sent to help the Ranskahovs, she immediately gets on Vladimir’s nerves. But as time passes, they start to take a liking to each other, even if none of them is willing to admit their feelings. Yet.

✏️ A/N: a few more details about Y/N’s past have surfaced *smirk* one more reason for Vladimir to be paranoid? Hopefully not ‘cause it’s making me paranoid haha

✏️ Warnings: the usual I think (mentions of death + manipulation. Also mentions of sex as blackmail)

✏️ Word-count: 4,221

REQUESTS ARE OPEN IF YOU WANT ME TO WRITE FOR YOU 💛

📚 To read the previous chapters, click on the MASTERLIST link in my bio (unfortunately I can’t put links here if I don’t want Tumblr to hide my post. I apologize.)

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE TRUTH IN THE DETAILS

“She’s a nice guy,” Sergei was saying. He had moved to sit next to Vladimir and was absentmindedly staring at the drink in his hand.

“She’s a nice… guy?”

“Yeah, you know what I mean.” The man shrugged, gaze scanning the crowd. He burst out laughing when he saw Piotr and Semyon dance like idiots, but then turned his attention back to Vladimir and returned his serious self when he saw his friend hadn’t even smiled. “She could even be Bratva.”

“Bratva?”

To say Vladimir was shocked was an understatement. Bratva was a serious thing, more serious than family, stronger than blood. While Y/N was… Aside from the few things they already knew about her, she was basically a stranger. They didn’t know where she was born, who her family was, where she studied, what she could do. Being siblings, being father and son, relatives–being bound by blood didn’t make you part of the Bratva, for it went far beyond that. And she…

“She could never be that,” he groaned through gritted teeth, staring as said girl danced with Paulina.

She could never be Bratva. The mere thought felt insane. He could understand giving people a chance to prove their worth, but this… This was far beyond what he was willing to do with her. She could become a well-respected coworker, a tolerable neighbor. A friend? Probably. But never… never that.

“Did you know she used to work in Kharkiv?”

Vladimir’s head snapped to the side so fast that pain shot up the back of his neck until it reached his left temple. “Ukraine?”

He had used to have contacts there before his reign in Moscow fell. Pavlichenko was still ruling the city–or at least, that was what he had heard. Vasyl had been a good ally in the months they had worked together, but he had disappeared into thin air when Anatoly and he had been robbed of their power. The man hadn’t lent a hand, hadn’t reached out. As a matter of fact, he hadn’t done anything to help them somehow.

Sergei nodded and after a few seconds of contemplation, he finally downed his drink. “For two years. Now that I think about it, that’s probably why she speaks Russian with a Ukrainian accent…”

“She speaks Russian?”

“Fairly well.” There was another nod of Seriozha’s head before the man grinned. “Petya says she’s even better at it after a couple of drinks.” He shrugged. “I thought you knew.”

“No, I didn’t.”

He should have looked her up. He should have dug into her past to get to know her better, to find her weaknesses to be able to take advantage of them in case he ever needed to do so.

Mistake number one.

The same had happened with Tatyana. He had thought her to simply be a good-looking woman with great tits and an even greater mouth. But that had still been the start of his demise. He had allowed her to sneak her way under his skin, lull him into the safety of her embrace, just to then stab his heart from behind.

How did he end up doing the same mistake with Y/N?

He didn’t know. He had promised himself he’d be more careful so that he wouldn’t make a false move, and yet…

Yet, she spoke Russian and it put any conversation he or his men had ever had at the garage at risk–at a risk so fucking high he couldn’t see its end.

Yet, she had started to slip into his men’s hearts. Two had already fallen, possibly three if he counted Tolik; the others were risking the same fate.

Yet, he hadn’t researched a single thing about her. He had taken her as Wesley had delivered her, he had kept his mouth shut–unless he had to yell at her, that is–and he had allowed her the benefit of the doubt.

“What else do you know about her?” he found himself asking. His gaze had zeroed in on Y/N, who was now drinking at the bar with Paulina and Piotr, and as he watched the three of them talk and laugh, he had to resist the urge to spring to his feet, march down to her and fucking choke her.

Sergei didn’t answer: he restricted himself to shrug his shoulders before he leaned against the back of the two-seat couch in what was the quietest area of the club.

“Did she work for Pavlichenko?”

“She did.” There was a sigh then, but Vladimir didn’t hear it, not above the music and the thundering of blood in his brain.

“Why did she leave?” You didn’t just leave Kharkiv alive if you knew Pavlichenko’s secrets. It didn’t work like that, not under Vasyl’s watch, not with the brutes he had by his side.

“You should… you should ask her.” He had already spilled too much, Sergei. There was no oath behind his silence, he hadn’t promised Y/N anything and she hadn’t forbidden him to talk about it. Sergei Yurchenko was smart enough to know which people to trust with such a piece of information–that was exactly why Vladimir (and consequently, Anatoly) trusted him so much. But a look at his boss’ angered expression and all he wanted to do, was to become invisible.

Vlad snickered, lightening a cigarette despite it being forbidden. “She wouldn’t tell me and you know it. And I want to hear this from you before I get her drunk and see if she told you the truth.”

There was a long silence, then. The two men stared into each other’s eyes as Vladimir smoked and Sergei fidgeted with his fingers. “She apparently helped him hunt his brother down,” the latter eventually said. “She got Mikhail out of Beliy Lebed, somehow brought him back to Kharkiv and… Well, his brother killed him.”

“And after that, he let her go?”

Sergei shrugged. “That’s all I know. From what she told Piotr, that’s what happened.”

Vladimir had his doubts. Vasyl wasn’t that much older than him, but he had always been way more attentive when women were involved, much more than he himself had ever been. Rumor had it, he killed his first wife, the one he had married at eighteen years old, just because she had looked at his brother the wrong way once. And while Y/N was a nice and pretty view, one doesn’t simply let go of such a chirping bird.

“She said anything about how he found her?”

“Vacation. She went to Kiev when she dropped out of college, she was found snooping around a contact Pavlichenko had there, and she was brought to Kharkiv.”

“Sounds like a bunch of lies.”

*

Anatoly’s girlfriend was better than Y/N had expected. She had taken her time to learn a couple of things about her, but since she wasn’t directly involved in his man’s business, she hadn’t snooped too deep. There was already way too much to remember about the Ranskahovs and his men for there to be room for details about someone else, and this was what made tonight good, for she could get to know her.

Paulina was fun–and surprisingly nice. She was better than she had thought a criminal’s woman to be if she had to be honest, and while Anatoly was on a completely different level than the pain in her ass Vladimir was, it was a confusingly weird and nice contrast to how she had feared her to be. The young woman was outgoing and the best company Y/N had had in ages.

“So, I hope Tolya is treating you well at work,” she smiled when Piotr followed a brunette to dance. They both stared as he unabashedly flirted with her, Russian accent even thicker after all the alcohol he had already drunk, and they snickered when he tried to grope her ass.

“Oh, Anatoly is treating me alright,” Y/N answered, finishing her water. She didn’t want to get drunk, not yet–she wanted to convince herself the reason was her will to enjoy the night, for she was under the impression that she wasn’t going to be invited out again anytime soon, but the truth was, she didn’t want to give Vladimir the chance to… To do anything, to be honest, and ‘anything’ was a broad term. “He’s not the problem.”

“Volodya is?”

“He’s… stubborn.”

“Of course he is, he’s a Ranskahov! Anatoly is just better at hiding it, but you should see him at home.” Paulina chuckled, leaning back against the bar and looking for her man with smiling eyes. “When he wants to do something, there’s no way to stop him from doing it.”

“How are they?” Y/N wanted her to talk, to say anything she wanted because she needed a way to not focus on Vladimir staring at her from the secluded corner he and his friends had chosen for them to sit and drink–and probably to hide her corpse better if it ever did come to that.

“I’m sure you already know quite a bit.” There was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she stared down at her. And while her gaze wasn’t frightening–nothing could ever be, not after having met Vladimir Ranskahov–, it was still something to worry about. “C’mon, don’t play coy. Tolya told me what you do for them–the same you used to do for… what’s his name? Wesley?” She chuckled then, and had she meant it to be playful or something else, Y/N didn’t know. “You’re a hacker! And that’s a damn interesting thing, don’t feel like you have to hide it from me.”

“I’m not hiding it, it’s just not something you go yelling around in a public space.” She smiled, too, and in the attempt to avoid her burning stare, she turned in Vladimir’s direction once again. “And it’s like… You know, like spilling the truth after you’ve been snooping around.”

Luckily enough, though, Vlad wasn’t looking at her, focused as he was on something Sergei’s was saying.

“Let’s do a game, then.” Paulina was smoothing her hands against the black denim of her jeans. “For every detail I get right, you tell me something you know about me–just me, no one else involved.”

Y/N didn’t turn her head, she simply glanced at the Pole next to her from the corner of her eye and gulped. There was something in her–something in the delicate features of her face, in the light brown hair turned blonde under the lights of the club, something in the way her jeans hugged her legs and in the way Anatoly’s leather jacket sagged on her shoulders that… It was like standing next to a snake, hoping it wouldn’t feel threatened so as not to get bitten.

She didn’t want to think like that, she had just met her and being the only woman closely tied to the Ranskahovs’ business, she had hoped they could bond somehow, but… The feeling that Paulina was just like James was there, at the back of her throat, and she had to do her damndest to swallow and avoid gagging.

“Okay,” she agreed after a few more minutes, slowly nodding her head up and down, turning her attention to Piotr in the hopes he’d come to her rescue.

“Great! Let’s start with something easy, then.” Paulina’s excitement glimmered in her eyes when she turned towards her and there was something in her smirk that had a shiver run down her spine. “Your father was a criminal. He killed the right man and got his place. He killed the wrong man and lost everything, forced you and your mommy to move to the east coast.”

It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was still unsettling. “How do you-”

But Paulina interrupted her, tutting at her and lifting her chin with a smile. “I uncover a secret, you do the same.”

Y/N swallowed hard. Suddenly, her mouth had gone dry, her throat was threatening to close up. She wiggled on her stool, smiled at an approaching guy just for that smile to fade soon after when he passed her to go to the restroom.

Sure, her past wasn’t a secret, but it was still something she wasn’t going to talk about–she never had with anyone and she probably never will in the future. And to have someone she barely knew–someone she hadn’t spent enough time studying–come up with part of her father’s story was… unexpected. And unwelcome.

Probably that was how Vladimir felt, she reasoned. And why he despised her so much.

But the suddenness of that revelation froze her. And the revelation wasn’t just that Paulina knew something about her dad, but that she–or someone else for her–had spent time searching her past and her story and…

And she couldn’t come up with anything. Her brain had stopped working and the only image she could think of–but not delete–was her father’s bloodied face that night.

“Come on, just tell me the basics,” Paulina pressed her, nudging her shoulder with hers.

“You are…” Y/N stopped, tongue sleepy and heavy. “You worked for the United Nations. In France.”

“That’s right. But I had to stop and resign. I mean, being in a relationship with a criminal and all… It felt like cheating.”

Y/N chuckled, more out of nervousness than of amusement. She wanted Vladimir to be there, to yell at her, even to manhandle her because she kept on bugging him about doing things her way so that she didn’t have to continue that game.

“Someone else found out about your past,” were the woman’s next words, “and proposed a way for you to buy his silence.”

What had happened then wasn’t exactly a secret either. Some people at work had found out and while their fear had been far too great for them to go around talking about it, they still found a way to spread some vague rumor.

“Sex is the currency of the weak,” Paulina whispered in her ear. “And people like James Wesley are particularly weak. They have a façade of stone, but there’s no lion behind it, just a snake.”

The woman’s lips brushed against her earlobe as she spoke, aggravating everything. Scary wasn’t the fact that she somehow knew. It was the thought that she could use those things against her–or that the Russians could use them. And it wasn’t some ‘it’s gonna get you killed’ secret, for the truth laid in the details Paulina didn’t know, in the little things she had left behind, in the little things she had done to the people that had ended her family–right when her story had started. She had tipped off Pavlichenko in Ukraine, sold information to Kiev, and she was looking for the best and safest way to do the same to Fisk.

The Russians… They were just a setback, something that slowed her down. They had done nothing to her and she had done nothing to them–there was no reason for a war to start. The only problem was that Vladimir didn’t trust her and his paranoid caution could cause even more trouble than it was needed.

“He’s still coming back for more, isn’t he?”

She didn’t answer. It was clear that Paulina had her ways to find out part of the truth, most of all when the safety of the people she loved was involved.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“Not your business, I can handle my business pretty well.” She hadn’t meant for her reply to come out that harsh, but she still hoped the other changed the subject of the conversation or shut up altogether.

“I just want to help you,” Paulina retorted. She had grabbed her shoulder and had turned her so that they were face to face. “If there’s someone threatening you, they’re threatening Anatoly and Vladimir’s business and lives, too.”

“Wesley won’t do anything, our employer wouldn’t-”

“Your employers are the Ranskahovs now. Forget about your old job, you’re with us now.”

“I appreciate your interest, but-”

“God, Tolya was right!” Paulina groaned, massaging her forehead with index and middle fingers. “You’re just as stubborn as Vladimir.”

It stung like an insult, even if Y/N knew the other was just stating the truth–or, rather, her and Anatoly’s truth. And yeah, she could be stubborn, but not Vladimir-stubborn. This was just her private life and what happened behind its doors was her business–hers and no one else’s. “I’ll let you know if I ever need any help, okay?”

And she wasn’t going to do that, not even if her own life was at stake, for asking for help meant confessing, and confessing meant risking what her father had faced when things went to shit. And she didn’t want her things to go to shit. She was still young and wanted to live a long, undisturbed life once the people that had to die were dead.

“On another note, how are things with Vladimir going at work?” The tone of her voice had already changed and was now lighter. Even the look in her eyes wasn’t the same as before: it was friendly now and slowly, the more she stared at her, the more her fear melted away.

“They’re not going.”

Paulina chuckled and was about to say something when she spotted Anatoly calling for her with a gesture of the hand. “Remember what I know. See you later,” were her last words before she left her alone.

She should have definitely spent more time studying that woman.

*

Anatoly had told him to go get Y/N drunk and Vladimir had accepted–against his will and his better judgment, but he had accepted. There was nothing else he could do, not when one word from Paulina could force him to bend down. So, he waited for his brother to sit down with his woman before he stood up and made his way towards the bar.

He wanted it to be quick and sudden like the removal of a band-aid–make her drink, hope his mother’s words about alcohol were a universal truth even on the other side of the world, and take mental notes of what she told him. It sounded so simple and yet, he knew she wasn’t going to give in so easily. She was just as stubborn as he was, head carved out of stone.

But he wanted to feel safe, to stop checking his own back. And he wanted his men to be safe, too: they could become friends with her all they wanted, they could do anything they wished to and with her, but she had no right to bend and manipulate Sergei like that.

“Vodka,” he ordered when he sat on the stool previously taken by Paulina. “One for her,” he added, pointing at Y/N with a tilt of his head.

He was tired. All of a sudden, the weight of that day–of the seven previous days, if he wanted to be that precise–had crashed down onto his shoulders and the thought of having to make her confess felt like a nightmare. She was a nightmare, plaguing his every waking thought.

“I’ve already drunk enough, but thank you.”

The politeness in her smile was as fake as the benefit of the doubt he had given her, and they both knew it. However, none of them seemed to care. They didn’t need to be friends to understand each other because they weren’t that different, after all.

“Is rude to refuse.” He pushed a shot under her nose and glared at her until she picked the glass between rigid fingers. “Drink.”

“Or what?”

His hand gripped her knee and he pressed closer to her. She smelled nice, he noticed. He didn’t know what it was, but it was the same perfume that had followed his mother around the house when he had been a kid–it had always meant safety back then, and almost unwillingly, he found himself hoping it still meant that. “I said, drink.”

She shivered when his nose brushed against the shell of her ear and he felt that.

“Now you.” Her voice trembled and he had to force himself not to grin–or grimace. It was just one drink, after all, nothing that could get him even remotely tipsy. He needed far more than a shot of vodka to lose himself, but he still didn’t want to run the risk.

He lifted his glass in a cheering gesture before he drank the burning liquor, eyes fixed on hers. He didn’t break that eye contact when he put the shot back down onto the bar and not even when the bartender refilled them–it had all been planned and already generously paid for.

“I know what you’re trying to do,” she nodded after a while, lowering her gaze on the shot in front of her. Her fingers traced its rim, her nails slightly dipped into the vodka.

“Oh, da?”

“You want to know stuff about me, see if you can trust me or if I’m trying to ruin you.” That was probably why Paulina had come up with that short-lived game: either to prepare her for Vladimir’s attempt or to find out more about her. “There’s no need to get me drunk.”

“Alcohol does not lie,” he retorted, forcing her to drink her shot with a glance. “But you can, if you are sober.”

“Faith means trusting someone even when they’re sober.”

“I don’t want to run more risks.”

“I warned you Wesley was waiting for me last week. I could have just kept my mouth shut so that he could find out where you live. You still decided not to listen to me, and that’s okay, I mean, it’s your business. But I warned you, expecting nothing in return.”

She was right and he knew it. The problem was, he was scared. He was fucking terrified of putting his life in this girl’s hands for her to do what she pleased with it. His natural gift with people had abandoned him after Tatyana’s betrayal and now he never knew how to act, what to do, what to say.

And it didn’t matter that she might be on the verge of telling him the truth, because that scared him way more than her lies. It could be a trap: get him to trust her just to then get him killed–him and Tolya and Seriozha and Petya and everyone else. He had been the cause of the deaths of many of his friends and there was no way he was going to risk that again.

That was the reason why whatever she said was going to meet his brick wall.

“Maybe you just wanted to tell him things you shouldn’t have.” He wasn’t… He wasn’t going to trust her. He could, of course: he could open up enough to let her in and he could be honest with her, think of her the way Sergei or even Piotr thought of her, but… But he didn’t want to let anyone down. Not again.

Tolik wants to give her second chance.

And so he was battled between giving her just that like his brother wanted and keep on doing it his way, closing her out, coming up with obstacles to place between him and her to stop her from getting closer–and to stop himself from getting closer to her.

“I would have already done that, Vladimir.”

She was tired–was it because of the long day or because of his behavior, Vladimir would never know. And against his better judgment, he almost stretched his hand out to touch her furrowed brow, trace its line down to her cheekbone and then down to her lips. Had she looked different, he probably would have done that. But she had Tatyana’s tired grimace, the same tilt in her chin as she looked up at the ceiling to exhale loudly from her nose.

“Who guarantees me this?”

“I guess this is what trusting people means, just like I trusted you not to shoot me when you and your brother killed the Hungarians.”

He stared at her, tried to tear Tanya from her features. He focused on the shape of her lips, tried to tell himself they weren’t like Tatyana’s. And the more he stared, the more details he noticed, like that faint scar just above her upper lip.

The next thought passed his mind like a meteor: he wanted to kiss it.

“You tell me what you did for Pavlichenko in Kharkiv and I will think about it.”

She smirked. “If you know about Pavlichenko, it means you already know what I did for him.”

“I want you to tell me truth. You might have lied to Piotr.”

“I didn’t lie,” she shrugged and downed his untouched drink. “And I know that telling you about Ukraine won’t fix anything between us. But I can tell you something else, something I never told anyone.”

“How will I know if you lie?”

“Jesus, Vladimir! I’m doing my best here, but you have to meet me halfway there!”

He groaned and she stared until he nodded in defeat. “Fine. What is it?”

“The reason why I went to Ukraine in the first place,” she smirked.

 *

Feedback? Suggestions? Predictions? Hopefully this is where Vlad’s paranoia stops and he opens up a tiiinyyy bit, enough to be civil with me Y/N.

Btw, I’m really enjoying writing this story. I hope you’re enjoying reading it! 💛

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ask. Same goes for ‘Bratva’)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892  @mblaqgi

The Assistant: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Bratva (people not on the lists but that might still be interested): @sweetvengeancee@theranskahovs @brobachev @kind-wolf

[haloud]

take a chance and don’t ever look back: chapter 2

ao3

Senior year is everything and nothing like it was supposed to be. Maybe if Michael had more chance to watch television as a kid, he would have had a clearer expectation of what was to come; or maybe he just would have had a false hope to rail against.

Whatever the case, in real life he flew blind.

But it’s almost over now. He photocopies his scholarship letter from UNM and sticks it to the roof of his truck so he can look at it when it rains and the stars aren’t out. Final exams are a few weeks out, but for the first time in his life they don’t feel like the end of his world knocking down the door. He did it. He’s in. Everything else is just the credits rolling.

Only one more hurdle to jump.

Michael and Alex still don’t really know each other. Their circles brush a little more these days than they used to—Michael goes where his siblings go, Isobel goes where Max goes, so all three of them go to the Crashdown every day ending in Y. It’s not such a big deal, though, not yet. Prom has always been Michael’s endgame. A big gesture. Something deserving of Alex Manes and his smile and the nose piercing he got over the summer. Max keeps talking about how he and Liz are running out of time, but Michael doesn’t see why things have to end the second he hits the highway. People say long distance relationships never work out, but people also seem to think they’re alone in the universe. Clearly, people need to start using their imaginations.

Now, Michael never skips class, and he’s never really had to put up with bullies despite the rumors he’s homeless because everyone’s too scared of Isobel. But it’s a matter of course that he’d have a handful of hiding places across campus. Last time he grew he ended up too tall to fit in his old spot under the east stairs, but the new spot is even better: a little-used janitor’s closet sandwiched between two auditorium access doors. Spring is his new favorite season, because sometimes when he posts up in there during lunch or after class, he can hear the orchestra practicing for their upcoming concert.

It’s there where he gets the idea to kick off his master plan with a little bit of petty theft. Not the best idea, but Alex hasn’t gotten any easier to talk to, not when Michael’s heart still starts to tap dance whenever they’re in the same room. At least this gets his attention.

Smoothing his hands over Alex’s guitar feels all at once both sacred and utterly profane. He feels it under his palms for hours after giving it back.

And then…Michael always knew Alex was kind, but he doesn’t even have words for what it is that Alex offers him in a steady voice. Nothing to say but thank you, each word like the sound of a gonging bell between them. He doesn’t even get to ask what he was going to ask, too overwhelmed and grateful and awed and small inside.

On prom night, it seems like the whole school’s gone stag this year. There’s Liz and Valenti, of course, but everyone else Michael knows is only coming to party. Even Isobel doesn’t even play at wanting a trophy on her arm this year. When Michael asks her who she’s taking, she goes wan and tense the way she spends too much time going these days and snaps that of course she’s taking him, why, does he not want her to? Some college girl from Albuquerque already making the drive for him?

It stings a little—or, okay, a lot, but Michael gets it better than anyone else possibly could. Sometimes it feels like he knows people best by the way their backs look shrinking in the distance. He doesn’t want that for Is; she deserves to know that she’s always gonna be his best girl. So he spends half the night showing her a good time, making her laugh on the dance floor, keeping her company even when Max drifts away to follow Liz at a distance. It’s a bit of a dent on his plans, but nothing’s more important to him than Is knowing she’s gonna be loved.

The party’s in full swing when she turns to him, eyes sparkling, cheeks pinker than her dress, and says, “Isn’t there anyone else you’d rather dance with? Not that I’m not flattered, of course!”

Michael turns pink too. He feels like he’s been hearing Alex’s name whispered all night, but he can’t be sure because that’s just kind of normal for him. Isobel smiles—not her teasing grin, but a resigned twist of her lips.

“Go,” she says, punching his shoulder lightly.

“Are you sure? I don’t have to—”

“Go, Michael. You’ve done enough. I mean it.” Isobel leans in and kisses him on the cheek. As if to prove her point, she then turns sharply on her heel and stalks like a lioness to some random guy on the dance floor. Michael laughs, shaking his head. Oh, Isobel.

Oh, Alex.

It’s now or never. Michael has to find him in the crush of bodies somehow, has to seize the moment before it’s gone for good. He’s sweating a little too much, though, he’s a little too disheveled, a little too emotional. He just needs to catch his breath, maybe splash some water on his face. Slipping out the side door—really, it shouldn’t be this easy, aren’t these things chaperoned?—Michael sucks in a breath that chills his lungs, the building’s AC cranked up high to compensate for all the grinding, grasping bodies packed into one room. He heads straight for the bathroom, his secondhand dress shoes bouncing eerily off the walls of the deserted school. He rounds the corner, only to slam straight into the sharp shoulder of someone waiting on the other side. It clips him right in the center of his chest and he sprawls back, arms windmilling, until his back hits the lockers with a bang.

“Guerin?” The person almost-shouts. Michael jerks his arms up to cover his face before the voice registers to his brain.

“Oh god, oh god, Guerin, I’m so sorry, I thought you were someone else—” Alex babbles, and Michael jerks his arms down as quickly as they came up. Alex grabs his shoulders and pulls him forward, presses at a few places on his back to feel for bruising. Michael feels himself ragdoll with a combination of adrenaline leaving his body and the sheer sweet relief of Alex touching him with care, but he manages to coordinate his mouth muscles enough to speak.

“It’s okay, Manes, it’s okay. I’m fine.” He straightens up, holding his arms out to demonstrate. Alex relents slightly; the last thing he does is tug the lapels of Michael’s jacket so it settles neat back over his shoulders.

(He really hopes Alex doesn’t look down.)

The silence rattles around the cavernous hallway. Nothing but linoleum and concrete and emptiness in every direction, but Michael and Alex stand occupying the same foot of space, breathing in each other’s air.

Clearing his throat, Michael says, “Uh, I was just—got a little hot in there. What are you doing out here?”

Alex’s eyes dart off to the side, and he chews on his lower lip. Michael is about to say he doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to when the door Michael came through bursts open and spills out four or five loud voices. The color drains from Alex’s face, and Michael doesn’t think, just says:

“I know a place. Come on.”

The two of them take off, cutting through all the shortcuts Michael knows until they reach the narrow auditorium accessway. Even this late at night, the door to the janitor’s closet remains blessedly unlocked.

One thing he didn’t plan for though: it’s a little cramped for two people. Michael’s “don’t look down” problem is going to become a different problem entirely if Alex gets too fidgety. Luckily, it’s at least too dark for Alex to see how he’s lighting up pink.

Potential for embarrassment aside, Michael doesn’t like the angry hunch of Alex’s shoulders, the ducked head, the clenched jaw. He wants to reach out and, and hug him, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed. Doesn’t know if comforting him like that would be okay.  So he stumbles out, “Hey, a-are you okay? I know it’s probably a stupid question since it’s prom and we’re standing in a janitor’s closet, but—"

“I’m just pissed. It’s Valenti. He keeps popping up, and he hasn’t said anything yet, but I know he’s going to. And everywhere I look there’s a football player staring back. I shouldn’t let Valenti get to me. I kept telling myself this year would be different after last year was so boring and crappy but I’ve spent all night avoiding his stupid cronies instead of having any fun. And then I almost decapitated a perfectly innocent guitar-stealing weirdo.” At that last sentence, his eyes flick to Michael’s and he makes an attempt at a smile, at lessening the tension.

Michael’s shoulders drop in relief, and heart skipping a beat at Alex’s mention of last year, he licks his lips. Last year wasn’t boring for Michael. He’s kind of been measuring time in terms of before last year and after he started waking up with Alex’s name on his lips.

“Night’s not over yet. Pretty much everyone’s still out there. But hey, as Roswell’s resident guitar-stealing weirdo, I totally get it if that’s more your idea of a good time.”

Alex laughs an actual laugh, and Michael has to glance down to make sure he’s just being a sappy dork and hasn’t actually floated off the floor. Then Alex gets serious again and shakes his head.

“Going out and dancing by myself would just encourage them. ‘Get a load of Manes, he’s a loser and a—”

“Who says you’d be alone?” Michael’s voice comes out embarrassingly high-pitched, and he jams a knuckle against his lips. Alex glances at him, one eyebrow cocked, sharp dark eyes flicking left to right like Michael is a puzzle he’s been trying to solve for days.

Maybe even longer.

Outside their little sanctuary and a hallway over, a locker door crashes and the voices from before whoop loudly. The two boys flinch together, and without thinking Michael grabs Alex’s elbow and tugs him slightly behind him, putting himself between Alex and the door. They stay like that for a long moment, as the bangs and shouts move away and go silent. Michael’s head is tilted so he can still look Alex in the eye. Alex’s pupils are dilated in the dim light, but the effect is the same as if—Michael feels a little devoured, just then, a little eaten up. He’s never felt like this before. He wants to bury himself in Alex’s chest and trust Alex to hold him tight. Those long, dark eyelashes flutter every time Alex blinks, and Michael wants to feel them against his cheeks.

Alone again, the outside world feels so far away. Michael turns fully and rocks up onto his toes to bring their mouths closer together, just because he can. “Whaddya say, Manes?” he asks, jerking his thumb in the direction of the faint, faint music.

Alex draws himself up so tall and close it makes Michael’s heart beat faster. His heart falls again, though, when Alex shakes his head.

Then Alex says, “Nah. Not here. If you really want to, you can take me out some other time, where we don’t have to put up with those assholes. Deal?”

He skims his fingertips over the back of Michael’s hand. It restarts Michael’s heart in double-time, makes goosebumps erupt all down that arm. His curls bounce up and down as he nods his head. It’s scary—god, how is he going to come up with something for them to do?—but also Michael can’t stop smiling.

“Maybe I kind of wanted to dance with you, though,” he says.

Alex chuffs a little laugh. “Then maybe I’ll just have to go to dances more often.”

“We-eelllll…” Michael can’t help the spread of his grin, even though all the smiling makes his cheeks hurt. “When you do, maybe you’ll save a spot on your schedule for me?” He knocks his scuffed-up shoe against Alex’s. He’s so warm in this little space they’ve made together. He always picks his hiding places because they feel safe, but he had no idea he could feel like this.

“Yeah.” Alex swallows twice, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I will. I’ll save a spot for you right at the end.”

“The end? That gonna give us enough time?”

“Last song’s as long as you want it to be. Sometimes it even keeps going once you get home.”

Just like that, Michael’s uncomfortable problem is back. His heels hit the floor again flat, and he splutters all undignified as the closet lights up white with Alex’s feral grin.

“I think they’re gone. Shall we?” Alex says while Michael tries to collect himself.

“U-uh, yeah. After you.”

They climb out of the closet into the now-deserted hallway. Alex reaches out and steadies Michael when he stumbles over the lip of the doorframe, but the weight and sensation of his hands just makes Michael feel like Jell-O. At the intersection of the hallway—one side leading back to the dance, one side leading outdoors—Alex stops, grabbing Michael’s wrist to jerk him to a halt too.

“Alex?”

He doesn’t get a response, just intense, calculating eyes boring into him, staring him down. It’s been Michael’s greatest lifelong fear, being dissected, but he lets it happen now. Alex’s eyes pin him down spread-eagle on a steel table, but standing so close to him, leashed by that hand around his wrist, he only feels drifting and docile like a beehive smoked out. He wants to ask what’s wrong but can’t make his brain connect to his mouth to make words.

Slowly, oh-so slowly, Alex reaches out and, with just two fingers, smooths that loose curl back behind Michael’s ear. Michael’s mouth pops open on a breathy little sound as Alex follows that path again, stoking his forehead, combing through his hair. Then Alex nods, just once, like he’s come to some decision. Michael doesn’t know what it might be, but it’s okay, he’s cool with Alex calling the shots from now on as long as they can stay close like this.

“I’m going to the bathroom to freshen up a bit,” Alex says. “Meet me outside by the trellis? We can get food or something before everywhere closes.”

“Y-yeah, sounds good. I’m here with Isobel, but I’ll—I’ll let her or Max know.”

Alex gives him a little smile before he walks away. Michael sways in his direction just a little bit before he collects himself and goes the other way.

Standing under the latticework and the fairy lights, Michael closes his eyes and lets the night feel magical. He lets the whole, vast night wrap around him like the scent of Alex’s cologne pressed up against him in a tiny janitor’s closet. His mind whirls and crashes but for once the noise just sounds like singing.

What if Alex kisses him? Michael’s lower lip tingles, and he bites at it to make it stop. He’s not some blushing virgin; just because Alex is tall and his dark eyeliner makes his eyes look even darker, doesn’t mean Michael should be acting like a princess.

Alex has never had a boyfriend, at least not that Michael knows about. Maybe Alex is a virgin. Maybe Michael could be his first—

The thought makes Michael’s heart skip a beat, and he almost slaps himself before remembering that he is, technically, in public. You’re getting way ahead of yourself, he thinks. Who says Alex wants to be anything more than friends? Maybe Alex doesn’t even want him just because he’s offering. Besides, Michael’s never been with a guy either, so maybe he’d be crap at it…

Great, now he’s just depressed.

“Dude, are you okay? You just went on one hell of a face journey.”

Michael startles bad for the second time tonight, but this time when he whirls around it’s just Max.

“Dude, you know not to sneak up on me.” He smacks Max lightly on the shoulder, and Max rolls with it, nodding.

“You’re right, I know. Seriously, though, you okay? Where have you been all night?”

“Spent most of it with Is, why?”

“Well, she was alone a little while ago when she drove off.”

“She left?”

“Yeah. Said she wasn’t feeling it or something.”

“She was fine when I left her. Hell, she was the one who told me to go.”

They face each other under the fairy lights. Max won’t stop staring. Michael’s skin feels too small for his body.

Finally, Max says, “I’m sure she’s fine. There are a hundred Isobel reasons why she’d want to leave early.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right,” Michael replies, weak with relief. “How’re you going to get home? I’ve,” he runs his hand through the curls at the back of his neck, “made plans, but, uh, what about you?”

“I’ll figure something out.” Max’s voice trails off, his attention already wandering. “I don’t want to leave until Liz does, in case…”

Michael lets out a little bubble of laughter. Shine on you crazy diamond.

“Why don’t you go find her? I’m sure Valenti will stop pissing on her leg long enough for you to get in one dance. Also I’m meeting someone here, so like, would kind of love to not have my dork-ass brother hanging around.”

Max scoffs and shoves at Michael’s head. “Shut up. I’m the cool brother and you know that.”

“Uh huh, says who? Tolstoy? Dostoyevsky?”

“Sholokhov, plebian.”

“Ugh, you disgust me.”

Max laughs again. Then he glances up at the building, brow furrowed. Michael follows his line of sight, heart leaping when he sees Alex hurrying down the stairs, then plummeting into his stomach as Valenti and the rest of the starting line spill out in pursuit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The night ends sudden after that. The football players disperse, and Max does too, either home or wherever Liz Ortecho went, Michael doesn’t really care. There’s a cold little grain of disappointment in his chest, but the skin of his shoulder still burns where Alex squeezed him as he left.

Michael trails his path out to the parking lot, in no particular hurry, now, for the night to end. Alex is long gone. Michael hopes Liz managed to give him some comfort before he drove away, left angry to a house that hates him, and—

He decides then and there that he’s going to the toolshed that night. He hadn’t been sure if he would before, not sure how taking Alex’s charity would affect things between them. But all he care about now is being there, being close enough that maybe it brings Alex a little peace, as if he can feel him, even if he doesn’t know he’s there.

Something rustles under his foot as he steps off the sidewalk, and he moves his foot aside to reveal a champagne-colored rose, delicate and tightly-furled. The same one that had been threaded through Alex’s buttonhole when they stood so close their chests nearly brushed.

Michael cups it in his hands like it might fly away. That night, he fills one of his cupholders full of water and floats it there for want of a vase.

And there it stays.

[ainchase]

Elsword

“What do you want?  If you have something to say, then spit it out.”

1st Year

155 cm

Specialty: Kendo, household chores

The only 1st year student at the Velder High kendo club. He started learning kendo since he was a kid, having admired his older sister, a promising kendo champion. He joined Velder High as it was the only school in the area with a kendo club.

He’s never discouraged or intimidated in any situation, which comes off as arrogance at times. However, he trains relentlessly every day, saying that he’s got a long way to go if he wants to catch up to his sister, and he’s never been free of scars for this reason. He spends most of his time at the kendo club when he’s not in class.

He’s gotten several warnings for carrying around his practice wooden sword around everywhere which did little to deter him. He’s become more cautious about it though, and tries to not get caught. Despite his clumsy and reckless tendencies, he’s surprisingly good at household chores. He can be brutally honest at times, but he is just inexperienced at expressing his feelings and means no harm.

Aisha

“I told you not to run in the classroom!  Ugh, these idiots!”

1st Year

157 cm

Specialty: Nagging, magic (?)

A class president who’s never missed 1st place in the school ranking.

She’s managed to maintain her image as a bookworm since entering the Velder High, but according to the rumors, she levitates brooms with magic to clean when no one is watching. Other rumors say that she left some problem students midair 100m off the ground overnight to “correct” their behaviors. It’s been widely speculated that might be the reason why there is not a single student who doesn’t grow quiet in front of Aisha, even the most problematic students.

She appears as a Perfect Model Student who lectures others all the time and doesn’t lack a single thing in her life, but even she has a naive, pure side to her; her after school hobbies include reading shoujo manga or romance novels, believing in fairy tales of destined love.

Rena

“Call me if you need any help. I’ll run to you like the wind!”

3rd Year

170 cm

Specialty: Archery, tending plants

Velder High Student Council President, who’s always kind to everyone. She is trusted by all with her innocent smile and heartfelt sincerity.

She doesn’t hesitate to help anyone in need. As kind she is, she is also known to be merciless to wrongdoers. According to the school legend continued to this day, a student messing around at the flowerbed was soon found kneeling before her and begging for forgiveness.

She’s incredibly athletic, and many sports team have tried to recruit her but to no avail. She shows up every once in a while at the archery club, but otherwise she spends most of her time for the student council. She claims she suits looking after plants instead, but not many students believe that as she is the first one to run over to land a flying kick to those who cause problems at the school.

Raven

“...If that’s what you really want, then I’ll take you on.”

3rd Year

184 cm

Specialty: Leading people

In the past, he was the ace player at the kendo club, but had to leave all that behind due to unknown circumstances. At one point, he was the leader of an infamous student gang which was involved in several incidents.

He had spent a lot of his earlier days in the dark, but he was able to turn his life around somehow. He’s left the gang completely and cleaned off his dark past. He would love nothing better than to just spend his days in peace now, but he often ends up getting involved in unwanted fights with other students. It’s usually because people mistake his scars and his bluntness as hostility, not to mention those who wish to challenge him because of his infamous reputation in the past.

Recently, he’s been visiting the kendo club from time to time to spar with younger students.

For reasons unknown, he has bandages on his left arm at all times. Apparently, he never takes it out of his pocket. As the rumor goes, he only takes it out during a fight, but since no one has lived to tell the tale, its actual appearance remains a mystery.

Eve

“...How rude. Please be respectful at school.”

1st Year

167 cm

Specialty: Designing and inventing robotics

A mysterious transfer student. Cynical and refined, she is nicknamed “Her Majesty the Queen” by her fellow classmates ever since she slapped Elsword on her first day of school when he destroyed her precious inventions.

She has strange devices on her forehead and ears, but it’s absolutely forbidden to ask her about them. She shows extraordinary talent in robotic engineering; she’s even borrowed an entire facility of the science club to develop robotics in her spare time. Perhaps due to her past trauma of Elsword wrecking her creations, the security system is known to be a bit over the top.

She displays affection to her creations, more than she does to humans, but seeing how she can be beyond cold to other creations that does not meet her standards, maybe not all of her creations equally deserve her affection.

Chung

“Hello, everyone! Nice to meet you!”

1st Year

155 cm

Specialty: Cello, academics

Thanks to his excellent grades and polite manners, he was referred to the vice president position of the student council, despite being only a 1st year student. Both the teachers and students alike love this model student because of his positive personality, never hesitating to help anyone in trouble.

He doesn’t quite know what to do with the fact that he’s getting confessed frequently by male students because they mistake his pretty looks. He is especially good at playing the cello, and carries it around despite his small stature.

He attends Velder High as a part of his lesson to be the successor of his family’s business while his father is abroad.

Ara

“KYAAAA! I’m late!”

2nd Year

168 cm

Specialty: Calligraphy

She grew up in a strict household, where she learned to be respectful and courteous to others. Unfortunately, all the grace and refinement she’s learned goes out the window, because she makes frequent mistakes thanks to her innate clumsiness.

Being exceptionally talented in all things athletic, she tried join several sports clubs. However, she either got the rules confused or destroyed the facility due to her immense strength. She gave up eventually, but she accepted other’s suggestion to be a cheerleader instead and has been cheering everyone since. Her pure and innocent smile is her trade mark, making her fairly popular at the school, even though she herself is not aware of it.

The stray cat(?) she found one day doesn’t want to leave her side, and tries to get inside her bag every morning she gets ready to go to school. There’s a rumor going around saying that her older brother has made friends with the wrong crowd and became a core member of a gang. She’s worried because she had tried to contact him many times, but cannot reach him.

Elesis

“It’s important for students to continue to train themselves.”

2nd Year

163 cm

Specialty: Kendo

The captain of the kendo club, head of the student disciplinary committee.

When she catches anyone trying to climb over the fence to ditch school, she chases after them in a flash. It’s almost impossible to run away from her.

She didn’t get to spend much time at home, because she was always busy with kendo competitions since she was a child. She’s won numerous awards from world championships, but for some reason she’s left all that behind and currently attends Velder High as a normal student. Judging from how much she cherishes her younger brother, who is in the same kendo club as her, a rumor says that she quit being a champion just for him.

Add

“Hmph, what are you going to do with the fact that my name is ‘Add’?”

2nd Year

168 cm

Specialty: Disassembling and modifying machines

A problem student who has trouble getting along with his classmates because of his personality, but he is a genius; he’s often the top of his class. He is targeting a core blueprint that Eve supposedly has for his own personal agenda. 

According to the rumors,he is a son of a world-renowned family of scientists who have invented many incredible things in the past, but apparently due to unknown circumstances he's left the family and is currently living by himself. 

He's able to pay the tuition with the vice principal’s support, but it seems like he’s always on a tight budget. Sometimes you can catch him at the grocery shop during timed sale. Despite his cold exterior, he seems interested in animals as he can be seen spending his time observing cats near the school.

Ciel

“I’ve baked some cookies. Want to try them?”

3rd Year

188 cm

Specialty: Gunnery, butler activity(?), baking

An ex-core member of an infamous gang. He was forced to transfer to a different school with Lu after an incident.

He secretly looks after Lu so she wouldn't get caught up in trouble. He's known as her personal butler because of this, but he doesn't seem to mind his new nickname.

Although he looks distant and serious, he loves cute things; he carries around little trinkets of plushies on his bag or his phone. You can see him near a toy shop, playing the claw machine with expertise.

He loves to bake and often hands them out to students in the class.

Lu

“I am the Luciela R. Sourcream!”

3rd Year

141 cm

Specialty: Eating desserts

She was one of the leader of an infamous gang from the Demon School.  Betrayed by those she trusted, she was falsely accused of something and was forced to transfer to Velder High. Apparently she’s looking for a chance to get her old position back.

Nowadays she tries to get around quietly without catching any attention, but she ends up catching attention anyways, in a different way, thanks to her cute appearance and bold attitude. She is asked to play a role in the theater club many times because of this, but she rarely gets on the stage because she only wants the good roles.

She hangs out with Ciel who transferred with her, and seems to leave all the annoying tasks to him. She loves sweet desserts, and joined the baking club with Ciel, where she has taken the role of taster, as she is not gifted with baking in any way.

Rose

“I’ve successfully arrived at the school. For the chairman, transferring school is not a problem.”

2nd Year

182 cm

Specialty: Gunnery, repairing and modifying guns

Elite member of a foreign army school. She transferred to Velder High of Elrios to investigate the source of a great disaster that threatens her home country.

Perhaps due to her upbringing in a military family, she is extremely athletic and boasts an outstanding marksmanship. She is especially attached to guns and can be seen secretly taking care of a model gun she carries with her.

Having been trained with a strict military education, she can be harsh with herself when it comes to training and self-disciplining. She carries around bag with the weight of a full gear that soldiers normally carry. She also eats battle-ready rations like jerky or energy bars for meals, and is always ready for battle. Her soldier-like tendencies surprise people but it doesn’t look like she is aware of it.

Ain

“I’m a bit busy right now. Can you come to the student council room if you have a business with me?”

3rd Year

182 cm

Specialty: Can do whatever he puts his mind to

The scribe of the student council, who deals everything with composure and a soft smile.

Separate from his student council duties, he’d volunteered to be the manager of the kendo club. He visits 1st year classes quite often, under the pretext of supporting the young 1st class club member. He appears to be closer with the 1st year students than students of his own class.

He frequently calls in sick due to an accident he was involved in before he started attending the school. He can be seen taking classes at the 1st year class the next day. It’s very unusual, but strangely he doesn’t draw enough attention so he gets called out on it very rarely.

He’s always smiling and no one has seen him making any other expression. He can be brutally honest without any regard for other’s feelings, but it doesn’t seem like he himself thinks it’s particularly big problem.

Perhaps he is religious seeing how he performs certain actions before lunch.

https://imgur.com/a/c6C8H

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

The Dos and Don’ts of Beginning a Novel:  An Illustrated Guide

I’ve had a lot of asks lately for how to begin a book (or how not to), so here’s a post on my general rules of thumb for story openers and first chapters!  

Please note, these are incredibly broad generalizations;  if you think an opener is right for you, and your beta readers like it, there’s a good chance it’s A-OK.  When it comes to writing, one size does not fit all.  (Also note that this is for serious writers who are interested in improving their craft and/or professional publication, so kindly refrain from the obligatory handful of comments saying “umm, screw this, write however you want!!”)

So without further ado, let’s jump into it!

Don’t: 

1.  Open with a dream. 

“Just when Mary Sue was sure she’d disappear down the gullet of the monstrous, winged pig, she woke up bathed in sweat in her own bedroom.”

What?  So that entire winged pig confrontation took place in a dream and amounts to nothing?  I feel so cheated! 

Okay, not too many people open their novels with monstrous swine, but you get the idea:  false openings of any kind tend to make the reader feel as though you’ve wasted their time, and don’t usually jump into more meaty action of the story quickly enough.  It makes your opening feel lethargic and can leave your audience yawning.

Speaking of... 

2.  Open with a character waking up.  

This feels familiar to most of us, but unless your character is waking up to a zombie attack or an alien invasion, it’s generally a pretty easy recipe to get your story to drag.

No one picks a book to hear how your character brushes their teeth in the morning or what they’d like to have for dinner.  As a general rule of thumb, we read to explore things we wouldn’t otherwise get to experience.  And cussing out the alarm clock is not one of them.  

Granted, there are exceptions if your writing is exceptionally engaging, but in most cases it just sets a slow pace that will bore you and your reader to death and probably cause you to lose interest in your book within the first ten pages.  

3.  Bombard with exposition.  

Literary characters aren’t DeviantArt OCs.  And the best way to convey a character is not, in my experience, to devote the first ten pages to describing their physical appearance, personality, and backstory.  Develop your characters, and make sure their fully fleshed out -- my tips on how to do so here -- but you don’t need to dump all that on the reader before they have any reason to care about them.  Let the reader get to know the character gradually, learn about them, and fall in love with them as they would a person:  a little bit at a time.   

This is iffy when world building is involved, but even then it works best when the delivery feels organic and in tune with the book’s overall tone.  Think the opening of the Hobbit or Good Omens.

4.  Take yourself too seriously.

Your opener (and your novel in general) doesn’t need to be intellectually pretentious, nor is intellectual pretense the hallmark of good literature.  Good literature is, generally speaking, engaging, well-written, and enjoyable.  That’s it.  

So don’t concern yourself with creating a poetic masterpiece of an opening line/first chapter.  Just make one that’s -- you guessed it -- engaging, well-written, and enjoyable. 

5.  Be unintentionally hilarious.

Utilizing humor in your opening line is awesome, but check yourself to make sure your readers aren’t laughing for all the wrong reasons (this is another reason why betas are important.)  

These examples of the worst opening lines in published literature will show you what I mean -- and possibly serve as a pleasant confidence booster as well: 

It was like so, but wasn’t.

— Richard Powers

Those of us acquainted with their sordid and scandalous story were not surprised to hear, by way of rumors from the various localities where the sorceresses had settled after fleeing our pleasant town of Eastwick, Rhode Island, that the husbands whom the three Gordforsaken women had by their dark arts concocted for themselves did not prove durable.

— John Updike

The cabin-passenger wrote in his diary a parody of Descartes: “I feel discomfort, therefore I am alive,” then sat pen in hand with no more to record.

—Graham Greene

Indian Summer is like a woman.

— Grace Metalious

If these can get published, so can you.

Do:

1.  You know that one really interesting scene you’re itching to write?  Start with that.

Momentum is an important thing in storytelling.  If you set a fast, infectious beat, you and your reader will be itching to dance along with it.  

Similarly, slow, drowsy openers tend to lead to slow, drowsy stories that will put you both to sleep.

I see a lot of posts joking about “that awkward moment when you sit down to write but don’t know how to get to that one scene you actually wanted to write about.”  Write that scene!  If it’s at all possible, start off with it.  If not, there are still ways you can build your story around the scenes you actually want to write.

Keep in mind:  if you’re bored, your reader will almost certainly be bored as well.  So write what you want to write.  Write what makes you excited.  Don’t hold off until later, when it “really gets good.”  Odds are, the reader will not wait around that long, and you’re way more likely to become disillusioned with your story and quit.  If a scene is dragging, cut it out.  Burn bridges, find a way around.  Live, dammit. 

2.  Engage the reader.

There are several ways to go about this.  You can use wit and levity, you can present a question, and you can immerse the reader into the world you’ve created.  Just remember to do so with subtlety, and don’t try too hard;  believe me, it shows.  

Here are some of my personal favorite examples of engaging opening lines: 

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." 

-- Douglas Adams, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

"It was the day my grandmother exploded."

-- Iain Banks, Crow Road.

“A white Pomeranian named Fluffy flew out of the a fifth-floor window in Panna, which was a grand-new building with the painter’s scaffolding still around it. Fluffy screamed.”

-- Vikram Chandra, Sacred Games.

See what I’m saying?  They pull you in and do not let go.

3.  Introduce us to a main character (but do it right.)

“Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don't-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.”

-- Neil Gaiman, American Gods.

This is one of my favorite literary openings of all time, because right off the bat we know almost everything we need to know about Shadow’s character (i.e. that he’s rugged, pragmatic, and loving.)   

Also note that it doesn’t tell us everything about Shadow:  it presents questions that make us want to read more.  How did Shadow get into prison?  When will he get out?  Will he reunite with his wife?  There’s also more details about Shadow slowly sprinkled in throughout the book, about his past, personality, and physical appearance.  This makes him feel more real and rounded as a character, and doesn’t pull the reader out of the story.

Obviously, I’m not saying you should rip off American Gods.  You don’t even need to include a hooker eating a guy with her cooch if you don’t want to.  

But this, and other successful openers, will give you just enough information about the main character to get the story started;  rarely any good comes from infodumping, and allowing your reader to get to know your character gradually will make them feel more real.   

4.  Learn from the greats.

My list of my favorite opening lines (and why I love them) is right here.

5.  Keep moving.  

The toughest part of being a writer is that it’s a rare and glorious occasion when you’re actually satisfied with something you write.  And to add another layer of complication, what you like best probably won’t be what your readers will like best. 

If you refuse to keep moving until you have the perfect first chapter, you will never write anything beyond your first chapter.  

Set a plan, and stick to it:  having a daily/weekly word or page goal can be extremely helpful, especially when you’re starting out.  Plotting is a lifesaver (some of my favorite posts on how to do so here, here, and here.)

Keep writing, keep moving, and rewrite later.  If you stay in one place for too long, you’ll never keep going. 

Best of luck, and happy writing.  <3

[themeatlife]

2020, Goodbye

If you are like me, 2020 has felt rough.  There has been a lot of change, a lot of “new normals” and the like.  I’ve been fortunate in many ways this year, but like many Americans have had to sacrifice for the betterment of communal and public health.  This post will most likely be a stream-of-consciousness ramble of what has been on my mind since the spring.  Not just one thing but multiple things.  Not sure if I can put all of it in words, but I’m going to give it a go and we’ll see what happens.

Sports?  Sports.  Sports!

Normally I would have had a college football preview and several football related entries by now including a Bowl Season or New Year’s Six preview.  This year with the initial will they play/won’t they play, then with all the COVID related issues postponing or cancelling games, I didn’t think I could properly give analysis or opinion.  There was a lot out there.  But I will say BOOMER SOONER and congrats to my Sooners on the Cotton Bowl domination of Florida.  Opt out or no opt out, you still have to play the games and those opt out WRs don’t play defense.

In 2020 we went from sports drought in the Spring, to sports overload in the Fall.  I honestly couldn’t keep up with all the watching!  NBA Playoffs, NHL Stanley Cup Playoff, MLS, NFL, and College Football seasons all kind of collided at once in the early Fall.  It was nice after not having any sports on TV for a few months.

Show me the Movies

I’ve cataloged a bunch of different shows and movies I watched over the course of the year and pandemic.  I put some of that on pause when sports came back.  But, I hit resume on some viewing over the holidays.  I did post on my social accounts some short reviews but I wanted to dive a little more in the viewing I’ve partaken in during the Christmas/New Year’s window.

Wonder Woman 1984 Meat Rating: 7/10

I watched this and initially was a little underwhelmed.  I thought it was solid and entertaining but not as good as the first.  But then I started reading a lot of negative feedback online about the film.  Even though it wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, I didn’t think it was a bad movie.  So I didn’t understand a lot of the negativity.  It is a bit slower-paced the first two-thirds of the movie, so that might have turned off some viewers.  I actually dug it.  The last third is what disappointed me.  No spoilers, I’ll just say that the emotional end of the movie happens about 20 minutes before the actual end of the movie, and that throws the whole thing off in my opinion.  Still, worth the watch.  And I love Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, and Pedro Pascal.

Soul Meat Rating: 9/10

Best movie of the year, in my opinion.  Wow.  Pixar has gotten so good at exploring human emotions and psyche like no other entertainment company.  And through quirky animated features, no less.  I may have to rank Pixar movies soon, we’ll see.  Like features like Inside Out, this probably works better on adults than it does on kids.  In any event, I laughed and enjoyed the ride, and I cried uncontrollably at the end of the experience.  I’m glad Jamie Foxx and Tina Fey took us on this journey.

The Midnight Sky Meat Rating: 6/10

Where to start?  Visually this film has some stunning shots.  The scenes in the Arctic and the space scenes are visually great.  The film’s weakness is that the pace is super slow.  There are tidbits throughout the film that hint at an obvious twist.  But the film is so slow that the payoff at the end feels worth less and almost unearned.  Unless you are a big George Clooney or Felicity Jones fan (or Kyle Chandler fan, big ups to Coach Taylor), I would skip this if you have other viewing options.

Tenet Meat Rating - 8/10

As I disclosed on my social accounts, I am a big Christopher Nolan fan.  Love his work, and was probably going to like this movie regardless.  I did not have the opportunity to see this in the theater, and I kind of regret that because Nolan films are usually the ideal theater experience.  Tenet is no different.  Big, epic action set pieces.  Visually stunning.  Confusing AF in maybe the first half of the movie.  I took my brother’s advice and just let it soak in upon first viewing.  So as the movie progressed, the more and more you start to understand what is going on.  The end pays off for me.  I haven’t gotten a chance for a second viewing, I might do that this weekend.  I need to rank Nolan movies now as well. John David Washington and Robert Pattinson have pretty good bro-chemistry and the movie plays off that well.

The Mandalorian - Season 2 Meat Rating: 8/10

I never reviewed the first season, which I would probably also give an 8.  Some background, I’m not a Star Wars fanatic.  I enjoy watching the movies and playing some of the games.  I never got into the animated series Clone Wars or Rebels.  So this current season of Mando, I probably wasn’t as geeked out as some Star Wars fans who have consumed that previous content.  Even without the context of some of the characters introduced from those shows into some of these episodes, I still enjoyed Mando Season 2 tremendously.  The Mandalorian is the best thing going on for the Star Wars franchise, and by the look of it from the recent Disney investors meeting, it looks like they are doubling down on Star Wars shows because of Mando’s success.

Toxic Politics, Conspiracy, and COVID

I have on occasion written about politics and current events, although I try not to make it too much of a habit.  Not so much because I don’t think it’s worthwhile but because everything is so partisan now.  Everything seems to be politicized, even things that shouldn’t be.  Like the response to COVID.  Why is public health and trying to prevent the spread of a deadly virus something political?  Why is something like wearing a mask politicized?  I never understood.  I guess long gone are the days of “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”  It is no longer United We Stand, but rather divided we stand.  Every man for himself.

Was it always like this?

And how have all these false, unverified conspiracy theories become so prevalent?  Part of the role of journalism is to not only inform the voting public but also be a reference of shared knowledge.  But now we are in this “hot take” culture, where instead of facts we are subject to people’s takes.  And the hotter the take, the more eyeballs get on them and the more these things spread.  I’ve also noticed that information spreads much faster when it agrees with someone’s opinion, factual or not.

So what do we do from here?  How do we correct this?  

There are no easy and comfortable answers. Much like the matters of race in this country. Race and COVID are two issues that are treated similarly. There are serious and deadly issues that need to be dealt with, but there are many who think those problems don’t exist or are exaggerated.

For us to address problems, we have to progress as a people. Together. To move forward, we have to expand our own perspective. Not every situation is clear. Not every solution is simple. And not every path is the same. To make things better, we have to understand the other side of things. Not everyone that disagrees is an enemy or villain. And as such, not every idea from the other side is evil.

We are all people trying to navigate this world. Navigate through rumors and conspiracy. Navigate through racism. Navigate through a global pandemic. If we showed more compassion and empathy toward each other, it would go a long way.

2020, goodbye.

Onward to 2021.

[nethwan]

A Life By Your Side

Summary:  Lars come back to work, but things are confusing. He doesn't know who has to believe.

Note: Ludwig is Germany, of course. Stacy is just a fill character. 

Other links:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720198/chapters/62555131

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13663177/2/A-Life-By-Your-Side

_______________________________

Chapter II: Fake

Although the memories of the last few years had been erased from his mind, life never stopped and went on as usual. It had been several days since Mei’s departure. He had no idea that when she left, she would take the warmth of home with her. No matter where he was, something was always missing.

On the other hand, he intended to call her several times to check on her, but he repentant in time. Most likely, she didn’t want to hear from him again, after all he had hurt her with his words. He could still evoke her expression of pain, her resignation, and that goodbye. Maybe it was better that way, he wanted to live without pressure, postponing the search of himself that he feared so much and the memories that he knew he would not recover.

He thought he would see her again when she went to get the rest of her belongings, but instead Mei’s sister, and best friend arrived. Neither of them dared mention her nor did he ask questions. For a moment he had the idea of asking them to tell her not to worry about him, but after that he thought what right he had to believe she was doing it. He tried to comfort himself by thinking that the separation was for the good of both of them, he didn’t want to give her false hope or tie her to a vague future. He was no longer the Lars she knew, but a complete stranger. Besides, she was very pretty and nice, it would be easy for her to rebuild her life by the side of a good man who would offer her what he could no longer give her. Thinking about it, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of bitterness.  

He wondered if he would be able to live in peace now that he had taken her out of the way. However, whether he loved her or not, the truth was that sometimes he used to think about her. At first, he felt it as a burden, as a sort of charge of conscience, but as the days went by, he began to miss her presence and her company. Maybe he just felt lonely, though.

Finally, Lars decided to go back to his old life, to when he had an established routine and every day was the same. In the morning he’d drink that one cup of coffee, then go to the law firm. Returning to work hadn’t been easy either, but he found a way to occupy his mind with other issues he considered more important. He had lost about 5 or 6 years of experience, but at least he could remember a good part of what he had studied and learned during his first years at work. So, in that respect he was at ease.

Although it was odd since some people were now unknown to him. Except for Ludwig Beilschmidt who was his best friend and had attended his welcome from the hospital, but hadn’t had time to talk. Right now, at least he had his support. His office looked the same except for the picture of Mei on his desk. He stared at it for a few minutes and put it in his drawer so he didn’t have to think about her. The morning went by as usual and all he wanted to do was go home.

After work, while waiting at the metro station, a tall, black haired woman approached him. For the first time in days, Lars was comforted to recognize another face. It was Stacy, an old colleague he had known since university, who had stopped seeing him when she went to study for a few semesters in the United States and they met again during their first years of work. As far as he knew they got along quite well and consider her a friend. She invited him for a drink and he accepted.

“Long time no see you. I’m glad you are all right. I heard about your accident, but I couldn’t contact you before. I was very worried; it is true that you lost your memory?” she asked after entering a café.

“Not completely, but I remember you”

The woman smirked. After a short talk about his health, he felt confident, after all she was an excellent lawyer and had graduated from college with honors, so there was no one better to trust at the moment. Of course, perhaps apart from Ludwig.

They both tried to catch up. For Lars it had been nice to talk with someone about serious issues that didn’t relate to his condition. She spoke eloquently and it was of real interest what she had to say. She was such an interesting and intelligent woman, the kind of person Lars felt very comfortable with. The talk went on so long that when they realized it was already night, but they decided to meet another day after work to continue the conversation.

“I don’t think I saw you when I came back from the hospital,” said Lars a bit puzzled, as they took a walk.  

“It’s just that, well, maybe it’s not the time to tell you, I’m a little embarrassed,” she said shyly.

“What is it?”

“No, it may bring you problems with your wife. In fact, we shouldn’t even be talking right now” she said with some sadness.

“Did something happen between you and Mei?”

“Well, I don’t want to be dramatic, you may not even believe me when I tell you. I guess she already warned you.”

“Warn me? What are you talking about?”

Stacy hesitated, thinking for a while, as if looking for a way to tell him, making the suspense between them grow.

“I guess she didn’t do it as I thought she would. You should know that we haven’t talked much since you married her. This is the first time we’ve really talked.”

“Why?”

“See, it happened after I got back from a trip, I heard you were dating her, so I wanted to meet her, she looked nice, but one day she came to me and threatened me not to come near you again”

Lars looked at her in confusion. He knew that Mei was immature, but he didn’t think she would be capable of doing such a thing. On the other hand, why should he trust the stranger more than a flawless colleague he did trust and remember. He was quite annoyed, who she thought she was to forbid him to speak to. Though on second thought, it made sense, Mei could be suffocating, he now understood a bit of the need to follow him around. He knew their marriage couldn’t be perfect.

“I can’t believe it”

“Neither did I, she looked so sweet, I just wanted to be her friend. You know I have always appreciated you and that’s why I wanted to meet the woman you had fallen in love with” said the latter with resentment. “But don’t get mad at her. The last thing I want to do is cause problems in your marriage. I just wanted to talk to you to see if you were feeling better,” she added.

“No, she has no right to forbid me anything,” he said, shaking his head.

“I feel like I should have told you before, but you know, I didn’t want to get in the way and she said she’d have me fired if I thought to tell you. It seems she has some influence…”

“It’s ok, it’s not your fault. Honestly, I think I just realized her true nature. At least I’m calm now. We’ve been giving each other some time.”

The woman’s eyes shone and she tried to hide her smile.

“You don’t know how sorry I am”

“It’s ok. I guess it would happen sooner or later” he replied disappointedly.

Of course, Stacy already knew that. She knew very well that he had lost his memory, and had consequently, separated from his wife. The rumors among her colleagues were something that one way or another ended up spreading and she still had very close friends who informed her as soon as they heard. So, she believed that this was her chance to get him back.

She remembered perfectly the day that she met him at the college. Lars was one of the brightest students in the class. She started to admire him, first from afar and then trying to be his friend. Some classmates thought they would make a great couple. She simply called herself a friend, while he was indifferent. However, just when they had become close, she went on an exchange to the United States. Before she left, she couldn’t confess her feelings to him, which she had regretted.  

They lost contact, until, by fate, they met again at work. They regained their friendship, although this time with Ludwig Beilschmidt in the middle and the inconvenience that she had a boyfriend with whom she had been dating for two years. Leaving him for Lars had been her intention in the first place, but there was always something going on, work, family, some important matter, anything. Finally, she decided to end her engagement during a disastrous trip, but when she returned Lars was already dating Mei.

She found out what kind of person she was and was almost outraged when she met her. She thought she was, by far, better than that girl in the colorful clothes and silly girlie face. She hated her from the moment she saw her. How was it possible that such a focused and serious man could be capable of falling in love with a simple brat when she had been waiting for him for so long, she wondered. That couple just wouldn’t last, no way, he probably just slept with her until someone better came along, maybe that was it.  

She tried everything to separate them: being especially affectionate and attentive with him, tagging him in suggestive posts, making more physical contact than usual, even leaving belongings of hers on purpose to create conflicts between them. But nothing worked, somehow that little hag managed to blind him completely, she thought. Finally, when she heard about their engagement, she decided to put an end to it, she couldn’t take it anymore. She went to his apartment; he opened the door and right there she asked him to break up with Mei so he could give her a chance. She even offered to be his lover. Lars listened to her as if she had gone mad, but simply shook his head.

“I can’t do that to her. Besides, I’m going to marry her”

“She doesn’t deserve you; I love you the most. I’m the one who should be with you. I have loved you since college. Give me a chance, she doesn’t have to know.”

“You’re wrong about me, I’m not that kind of person”

Through the door, Stacy could see Mei witnessing the scene. It had been so humiliating, especially when she saw concern in her eyes and wanted to let her in until she calmed down, but Lars refused.

“I think you’d better go, it’s late. The neighbors had heard everything and may call the police,” he said angrily.

Days later, Stacy decided to cut all ties with him. She left for a while determined to forget him, but for her it had become an obsession. She often looked to Lars’ social media to see him, but he didn’t use them. So, she was content to secretly make fun of Mei’s comics. She would write malicious comments, criticizing and offending her, but there was never a lack of support or she was just ignored.

Then, she heard about his accident, and since she had decided to return because of a special case that only she could take care of, she saw the chance to get back what was rightfully hers. Ludwig didn’t take it well. As soon as he saw her, he warned her not to approach Lars with bad intentions, for he knew what she was capable of.

“Don’t worry. He only likes me as a friend. Have you forgotten?”

Ludwig didn’t trust her. Several times he witnessed her tricks to ruin Lars and Mei’s relationship. At first neither of them believed it, because she was too decent, but when he caught her going into Lars’ office and rummaging through his things, Ludwig knew that she was up to no good. He recorded her and thanks to that, he was able to save them troubles, but he didn’t count on her confronting him. So, when she left all of a sudden, he thought things were over, but she came back.

Lars and Stacy met again a few more times after work. They talked for hours about the time they didn’t see each other, her travels and the last case she had taken care of. Lars was impressed by her professionalism and ethics. Something quite admirable. Then it came to his mind why he didn’t ever notice her? She was exactly the kind of partner he was looking for. Stacy was sophisticated and brilliant, plus her conversations were becoming a great relief to distract from his situation.

He unintentionally told her that he enjoyed talking to her more than he did to Mei. Then, Stacy started sobbing, saying that when Mei had threatened her, she was terrified. She didn’t want to lose her job just out of simple jealousy, but what hurt her most was losing his friendship. Then, she told him about some messages harassing her with getting rid of her, calling her a bitch because in her eyes she wanted to steal Lars from her. Even when she offered her her friendship, Mei had rudely rejected it, saying she could never be friends with a whore.

“I’m sorry you have to find out this way. How could I possibly confess it to you anyway? She sure acted as a model wife while she was taking care of you. And I guess she didn’t even call you. How can you trust someone like that?”

“Well, no, I haven’t even contacted her,” admitted Lars, feeling partly guilty.

“Do you think she asked someone to keep a close eye on you? If I were you, I wouldn’t trust anyone, not even my best friend,” she said.  

Lars was upset that he had been cheated on by his supposedly devoted wife. But at the same time, he was sure something was wrong. This felt different from how Mei was, as if something didn’t add up, even though Stacy couldn’t be lying. So, she started filling his head with bad ideas about Mei, for whatever reason, even if he wanted to change the subject, she insisted on telling him the worst of her and insulted her, but for Lars those couldn’t be lies. The more he thought about all that, the more he felt his marriage was a lie.

One morning, Ludwig called him aside. He told him that he wanted to talk about something important and payed that he wasn’t intervening too late.

“So, you have been seeing Stacy lately,” he said directly.

“Yes, it was nice to see her again,” said Lars without making too much of a fuss.

“Lars, please be careful. I don’t trust her” he answered shyly, but worried.

“What do you mean?”

“She is not to be trusted. Besides, legally you’re still married. Don’t get involved with her, you’ll regret it”.

At that point, Lars became defensive. He would believe it from manipulative Mei, but not from his best friend.

“I think I know what this is about, Mei found out, right? I can’t believe she asked you to keep an eye on me.”

Ludwig seemed offended and shook his head.

“No, I haven’t had any contact with her and I doubt she knows about this.”

“So? You know Stacy, you know she is a right and respectable woman,” replied Lars.

“Lars, listen to me. Trust me. I have been your best friend for many years. What would I gain by lying to you in the state you are in?” he said seriously. “You know very well that I’m not the kind of person who lie about something like that”.

“I know, but it seems strange to me that you’re getting into this. Why didn’t you do the same thing when I met Mei? Did you have any idea how controlling she was and yet you didn’t tell me?”

At this point, Ludwig thought he’d never seen Lars being manipulated like that. He never thought he was naïve as to believe any of the lies Stacy was sure to tell him.

“Tell me, why didn’t you say anything? I should have married Stacy instead… she is the kind of woman I should have been from the beginning and…”

“Lars, do you really think that the woman who spent days in anguish, waiting for you to wake up and that exhausted herself day after day to bring you back is like Stacy insists on making you believe?” he patiently interrupted him.  

Lars looked at him incredulously, how he could doubt that woman who had been a victim of Mei’s constant harassment. She had even cried in his presence. He didn’t know who to believe, just then he hated himself for not being able to remember anything. Ludwig told him what she had done and why she had left, but Lars couldn’t believe him.

“Look, I think you should trust your intuition. Something tells me that you don’t completely believe her yourself”

“How do I know that it’s not Mei who lied anyway? How do I know she is not a fake?”

Ludwig sighed impatiently. Lars was always too stubborn, so he sometimes avoided contradicting him. It was too difficult to convince him, but this was the last straw. He got up from his seat and walked to the door.

“Fine, have it your way. If you are gonna listen to her, at least be decent, talk to Mei and ask for a divorce, and if you are gonna do something stupid like stay with Stacy, don’t count on me at all.”

Lars was silent, it was the first time Ludwig spoke to him in such a sharp tone. He had always been patient and somehow avoided conflicts, but this time, it was different. He wanted to end their friendship because of a misunderstanding that happened long ago. He was sure that Stacy was someone else and she understood him very well, so why think there was something wrong with that, besides it wasn’t as if he was dating her.

That afternoon he met with her again. They went to the café that Lars could recognize because it was the one Mei said they frequented often. Stacy greeted him with special affection. It was a surprise to him, but he didn’t avoid it. He thought about what Ludwig had told him. In fact, at that moment he felt as if he were being unfaithful, even without having that intention, perhaps because he thought he would have preferred to marry Stacy and not Mei. To think that she was better than Mei, when he hadn’t given her the benefit of the doubt.

“You know, I was thinking, since you are finally going to divorce that hag, maybe it’s time for you to move on. How about you and I starting something?” she said, caressing his hand.

“I haven’t talked to her about it yet, and even if I had, it’s too soon,” he replied, having a very bad feeling.

“Why not? You don’t live together anymore; there are no children involved. We’ve known each other for years and I have always been in love with you.”

Lars had a terrible flashback, like from someone yelling that. He thought he had dreamt it before, and it was Mei saying it, but that didn’t sound like her. He suddenly felt dizzy and looked down.

“Come on, you won’t regret it, you can start a new life by my side. As it should have been from the beginning, before I was forced to leave, before the jerk I was dating, and before that little idiot came between us,” she said, caressing his face and slowly approaching to him.

At that moment, Lars turned away and looked out the window. What he saw wouldn’t let him sleep that night: Mei saw him with eyes full of pain, contemplating what appeared to be a betrayal. Her sister, and her best friend, took her away immediately. As Stacy laughed, as if it were all on purpose.  

[fabrickind]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Episode 3 Liveblog

Join me this week for episode 3: social anxiety, heteronormativity, authenticity, and schools with way too much goddamned money for their own good.

This one starts again with the fairytale framework, which was missing in episode 2. I’m making a note of this because I’m going to keep track of which episodes have this opening and if there are any similarities between them. inb4 ‘this is the episode where Nanami is introduced and that’s why there’s the fairytale since her episodes tend to have that opening

For this episode, I think it’s a combination of things. One is the somewhat obvious answer that we, as an audience, need to be reminded of this backstory. I think that it also speaks to the themes of this episode, though, in reminding us that Utena’s goal is to become a prince. Of course, as we come to find out, both the flashback and the goal of becoming a prince are false ideals, and the brilliance of this show (as I keep saying) is that it outright tells you this from the start, but in a way that makes you want to take it at face value. We will keep this idea in mind throughout this episode -- everything is precariously constructed, there’s a lot going on behind what we actually see, but we’re cued to take it all so earnestly, at face value.

And here we introduce one of Utena’s major concerns for the first arc: Anthy has no friends! We should give her some friends!

On the questions raised last liveblog about whether to take Chu-chu at face value or not, I think that we should take Anthy’s assertion here fairly literally, and this is one of the few times that I think I’m going to advocate taking anything in this show literally. I think that Chu-chu is her friend.

This exchange is interesting to me

Utena asks Anthy to stop calling her “Utena-sama,” and all of Utena’s fangirls call her that, but Utena writes it off as “a joke.” This scene seems to be calling attention to a weird sense of performance going on here. For the fangirls, it may be a joke on the surface level, but there seems to be something more authentic underneath that, especially considering that they all do it and that it seems to be a recurring thing. Oh, and Wakaba exists, of course. I’m not sure if this is Utena wanting to think that the probable actual thirst of the schoolgirls is a joke, or if it’s seen as a joke on all sides but they’re actually quite parched.

With Anthy, this seems almost inverted. Sure, she’s completely serious about being the Rose Bride. But she has no actual respect for Utena at this point, and while on the surface it may seem like she’s being deferential to her fiancee, deep down, she’s simply performing a surface-level role. It’s much more a “joke” to Anthy than it is to the fangirls.

(On a side note, my browser is flagging “fiancee” [the feminine form] as possibly incorrect spelling when I place “her” in front of it, but if I place “his” in front of it, it doesn’t. I get what it’s doing, but it’s still quite the heteronormative spell checker!)

Speaking of heteronormativity

Throughout this series, especially early on, “normal” and “heteronormative” seem to fully converge. Here, Utena wants to be seen as perfectly feminine (despite her clothing choice and fiancee) and as, more importantly, straight. To her, “normal” means “wants a boy rather than a girl.” Yes, there’s shades of “this whole dueling system is weird and I’d rather have a lover I met in an everyday way than someone I accidentally won in a duel” but I feel like the emphasis is placed on the gender of the love object here, and on Utena fitting into a model of heterosexual femininity.

Of course, no one believes her. At least, I don’t. The way to seem “normal” isn’t to parade around in a so-called “boys” uniform and declare your desire to be a prince. Her actions are seriously at odds with her words here.

  And then this asshole shows up.

That hair says otherwise, Touga. That’s major character hair right there.

And Utena provides one of her better reaction faces at what has to be one of the worst pick-up lines in anime history.

[insert joke about Anthy knowing him in the biblical sense]

(Though maybe that joke is more appropriate for the movie, where that’s actually a major plot point)

I wish I could edit out the snippet of video where Touga tries to play with Utena’s hair and she slaps him away and dramatic music plays. Everyone in this series is so extra and I love it. 

Oh no! Touga is wearing the ring! We have to go from “this guy is a total fuckboy who deserves to be slapped” to “could this guy be my prince?????” in the span of a few seconds! I guess Utena being the most oblivious character ever is part of her charm, though...

[insert joke about how Touga definitely means it in the biblical sense]

In this Student Council meeting, Miki uses the stopwatch almost right away, after Touga says that Saionji lost again. I think he’s timing when his own line should be. As per last episode, Saionji himself is still not present. Also still no weird antics at the meetings.

Anthy slap count: 3 For those participating in the drinking game ;]

So the latest Anthy rumors are about “what she did to a popular boy” (Saionji), which...middle school rumors often get things wrong, yes, but this is also the role of the Rose Bride. She’s taking on the blame for everything that went wrong, even if Saionji is the one who was an abusive asshole and is now being dramatic and refusing to leave his room.

This does make me think, though...do you know? do you know? Doesn’t that sound like the start of someone about to share some juicy gossip? I wonder how much of the Shadow Girls plays are basically the level of highly allegorical, surrealist rumor, and if we should take them as such?

I am a firm believer in the idea that Nanami is the only other character in this series who has the potential to be a protagonist, only she’s the protagonist of the wrong show (that and she doesn’t interact with the system in the way that Utena does, which is what allows for Utena to make it to the end of the dueling game). (I never said these liveblogs were spoiler-free :P) I think that her introduction here is an indicator of that -- she’s introduced in much the same way as Utena is, only without quite as much pomp and circumstance to her unveiling. There’s a strong visual parallel here, though, and to my memory, the only other character to be given this type of introduction. That is, she’s given the slow tilt up her body, starting at her feet, with the spinning rose frame, much like Utena was. Other characters may have the rose frame, but not that same level of “self-important theme music and the slow reveal of the character” that Nanami is given here.  (I know Juri has her very sad theme music mostly used in highly emotional moments, Anthy has theme music but she’s a more major character, Miki sorta has theme music but it’s mostly used in other places...do Touga and Saionji have theme music at all? Do any other side characters have theme music to the level of Nanami? Maybe Nemuro [not Mikage]? It seems as it it plays almost every time there’s something related to her on screen.)

I always go to beat up girls I don’t like with the school’s Forbidden Forest™ in the background.

Actually, I wonder if this is some sort of really weird foreshadowing -- that’s where the dueling arena is, and this is pretty much a cropped (and daylight) version of the shot that opens the Shadow Girl plays for this arc. I’m probably reading too much into it and it’s just a nice, convenient location to get into fights at. You know. In front of the big, ominous forest that all schools have.

The editing and angles in the next scene are nice -- of /course/ Anthy is playing cards with Chu-chu and Utena is just sitting in the corner, stewing. Isn’t this how most friends spend their evenings?

That is exactly the reaction I have to all of the party dresses in this episode.

Utena insisting that Anthy go to the ball and make lots of friends is an interesting moment for me

There’s that fake Anthy smile we all know and love.

I can’t remember my first watchthrough of the series and how I reacted to this particular moment. I wonder how many first-time viewers (who don’t yet realize just how complicated Anthy is) take this response at face-value, and how many realize that Anthy is quite literally obeying orders here, even if Utena didn’t intend it as such?

This scene seems to really align us with Utena’s perspective, though, in wanting Anthy to go and make friends, and having us feel sorry for Anthy for being shy, not for...well, being the Rose Bride and having been abused and tortured her whole life. Utena is trying to make Anthy into that perfectly normal girl that she so desperately wants to be herself, and is coming at this from the perspective of having average problems, not highly symbolic magical problems.

The Shadow Girls play here is a bit obscure. On the surface, it’s about how the ball is just an excuse to catch a man, and how the girls are shameless for wanting to do so, and yet our actors move back and forth between playing the town gossips and actually participating themselves as the prince and princess archetypes. That all seems relatively straightforward -- words not lining up with actions, judging others but having the same desires (even if someone queered by the fact that the prince is one of the same actors as before), setting up what happens between Utena and Anthy as explicitly romantic.

But why are there two dogs? There’s one dog when the SGs are playing the town gossips, and then two dogs when they’re the prince/princess at the ball. 

Another question of “just how rich is this school?”: they sure do seem to have a /lot/ of fancy dress parties. No industrial-looking cafeterias or gyms strewn with cheap steamers and girls in JCPenney dresses here. Nah, we have classical music and champagne. I bet the tuxedos the boys are wearing are ones that they own, not even rented.

On the point of the fangirls “joking” about calling her “Utena-sama”: clearly, they’re all /hella/ thirsty. I don’t think they’re joking as much as Utena wants to believe they are.

Yes, Utena. Yes it is.

Besides being one of the best visual representations of social anxiety I’ve ever seen,

this is also something to keep in mind come episode 34. As we get more information about her backstory, this comes to be a surprisingly authentic reliving of trauma for Anthy, and not just a display of anxiety or shyness for its own sake.

I’m actually fascinated by these moments, since they seem to be one of the few places, especially this early on, where we are allowed to see something authentic from Anthy rather than the mask she wears. Of course, we don’t realize it yet. I wonder how much of this is her allowing the mask to come off for a bit, and how much is that her trauma is too difficult at this moment to keep hidden? She does a very good job of hiding it the rest of the time, so it’s interesting that we get this scene. Or is it simply a performance of trauma, and not authentic at all?

Back to shitposting: Yuuko is the only one in the entire goddamned episode who has a passable dress.

I’ve actually looked to see if there’s a fabric that dissolves in alcohol, and the closest I can find is a rare type of rayon that dissolves in a combination of alcohol and...something else, ether maybe? It’s been a while since I’ve looked it up. Still very impractical for a garment, and nothing is going to dissolve that quickly unless that dress was made of rice paper or something.

Though, it’s mostly to give Utena an excuse to act the Prince and save her girlfriend from being humiliated and naked in front of a bunch of strangers.

I love these kinds of early series pranks, though. I feel like as we get further into the series, the whole thing becomes almost like a giant prank somehow (the cars. the cacti. the severe shortage of men wearing shirts.), but all of the problems are very serious and heavy, so it’s interesting to see the early episodes seem to take themselves so seriously and yet all of the problems are things like “someone spilled wine on someone at a party.” 

I would do the [insert obligatory joke about how she was wearing the uniform underneath that dress somehow], but that’s not actually what happened here. She’s not in her school uniform. She had her magical girl transformation. 

Of course, this is to visually set up the idea that she’s acting as the prince here. But it begs the question: whose powers cause her transformation to happen? Does this solve the mystery of why only Utena seems to get a transformation, no matter who is in possession of the Rose Bride, if those powers are somehow inherent to Utena, not to Anthy? And if so, what would that mean for the framework of the show?

Cosplay goals: make the tablecloth dress actually out of a tablecloth. Is it possible? No. But I can try.

Actually, the quick change seems to be another magical girl transformation, rather than an actual outfit. ~Suspension of disbelief~ is overrated.

And our main ship is established. Now, for the delicately constructed life of these two to come crumbling down over the course of the next 35 episodes once we learn more.

That concludes this week’s liveblog! Congrats if you made it to the end, as usual. Next Sunday (July 2nd) is the scheduled date for our next liveblog. 

A quick closing note, since I never actually talk about the next episode bits unless they’re somehow important -- it seems significant that Utena mentions that Miki has only fought one duel before this, but I can discuss that next week. Or, probably, the week after.