#someone tell me it’s all fake rn

[riighteouspath]

there are rumors happening .

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[sibelin]

i'll pretend i didn't just have breakdown like i do five times a week ✌️

[like-butterflies-and-glitter]

yearning for love and human connection in my me?

more likely than you think

[dreamertrilogys]

i’m so fucking tired (physically but also emotionally/mentally) like i don’t even feel like a person rn

[astrxealis]

did you know i love my friends so much.

[confinesofmy]

soo crazy how after about a year and a half of leaning heavy on my family because my mom died and i was falling apart i am now pretty sick of the majority of them lol. like i finally fell in with them properly because the circumstances were right for it and uhhh turns out they're bad. can't stand em. lowkey. not good people, like for OTHER people they're not. but also me personally they're not good for me to be around. so now i know lol. 😵‍💫

[hideaway-or-safehouse]

my least favorite thing about having autism + CPTSD is how a trigger of mine can be barely touched and then im silently crying on/off for the rest of the day as i have an autistic shut-down

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀

[enwoso]

TROUBLE IN PARADISE? — alessia russo

something different i wanted to try just while i don’t have the time to write a full fic but i still wanna give you some content🙃

navigation

in which the fans think you and alessia have broken up

face claim: sophia birlem

yourusername has added to their story

yourusername

liked by leahwilliamson and 290,835 others

yourusername bonjour😘

comments

user1 is alessia with her?

-> user2 i don’t think so, alessia is in ibiza

user3 have you and alessia broken up?

user4 loving the paris content!!😍

user5 your literally perfect🥹

alessia

liked by ellatoone and 630,947 others

alessia making memories🩷

comments

ellatoone wowza😍

user6 omg where’s y/n your scaring me!

stanwaygeorgia them drinks look devine

-> ellatoone they were 10/10

user7 yo less where’s my girl y/n?

user8 your hot?

yourusername

liked by keirawalsh and 501,396 others

yourusername buenos días👋🏻

comments

user9 HOT

user10 please say it’s fake and you and alessia are still together!

user11 missing you and alessia

user12 WE ARE ALL IN MOURNING RN. PLS put us out of our misery, just tell us if you two are still together i beg!

alessia added to her story

yourusername

liked by alessia and 580,219 others

yourusername me and the sexy blonde lady;)

comments

alessia i love you so much, gorgeous<3

-> yourusername love you tiny bit less, considering you were seen with someone else:(

-> alessia oh be quiet, you big softie

user13 OH MY GOD WE CAN BREATHE AGAIN.

user14 our prayer have been answered

user15 this is the best thing i have ever opened the app too!!!!

alessia

liked by yourusername and 721,348 others

alessia vacation with my girl<33

comments

yourusername that’s lovely but you were literally with someone else🤔

-> alessia stop spreading rumours, i don’t fancy being trending on twitter love☺️

-> yourusername your always trending on my twitter!

user16 BEST COUPLE

user17 HAHA not y/n being a shit stirrer

ellatoone my fave couple🥹

user18 thank goodness for that, what a rollercoaster of emotions!!!

[verstarppen]

haiii plz ignore this if your requests are closed 🙇🏻‍♀️ but I'm begging you to give us george who's totally in love with someone from the camera crew and the drivers start making fun of him for it but it's all fluff ♥️

summary; mercedes have a strict policy regarding office romance, but that can't stop Totally Spies because they can't read

pairing; george russell x fem! camera operator! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; im so sorry if this isn't as funny as usual im rusted and dusted from exam season anyway HERE WE GOOO HERE WE GOOO ON A MISSION UNDERCOVER AND WE'RE IN CONTROL HERE WE GOO HERE WE GOOO WE'RE TOTALLY SPIES SO WE'LL GET ON WITH THE SHOW

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 625,801 others

alex_albon He's going to look back at this post and curse my entire bloodline isn't he

view all 100,384 comments

georgerussell63 Alright then, what's all this about

alex_albon It'll all be revealed in time... georgerussell63 Your old wizard impression is serving

scuderiayummy the f1 gc must be booming rn bc what does this even mean, alexander.

charlielecunt If I see "breaking news: george russell found dead in a ditch" in 30 mins I'm gonna lose it

pierreleftsock "time to take george to football, live up the bugatti weeee"

liked by alex_albon, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 755,105 others

georgerussell63 I won in the name of the people

view all 200,005 comments

miss.sainz55 this is better than 95% of the enemies to lovers books i've read

typicallyleclerc what happened to the original plot of the movie

applenorizz bitches be like "can't stand her fake ass" 10 minutes later "me and the bestie"

landonorris i feel the urge to bash your head in a wall

georgerussell63 Digital footprint

liked by 36rg, britney_alex_clover and 15 others

ynusername on a mission undercover and we're in control

view all 5 comments

36rg Alexa, play "They Don't Know About Us" by One Direction

ynusername THEY DON'T KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU AREEEE

britney_alex_clover Now all you have to do is avoid being spotted together by the public eye, your boss, all of your friends, your family and also the entire human population

britney_alex_clover also please stop flirting on promo vid sets that shit is cringe as fuck britney_alex_clover I find it adorable britney_alex_clover no one cares what u think charles britney_alex_clover Wow. britney_alex_clover Guys britney_alex_clover Sorry britney_alex_clover Hello 👋 britney_alex_clover alright who let maximilian in 36rg Who let any of you menaces in britney_alex_clover careful loverboy, i've got HR on the phone 36rg And I know what you did with the trophy after Vegas britney_alex_clover OKAYYYY LET'S ALL JUST CALM DOWN britney_alex_clover what the fuck 36rg Eyes and ears everywhere, Norris britney_alex_clover Wait, is that why I still can't get it to light up? Did you break another one??? britney_alex_clover can someone ban max off this account thank you

britney_alex_clover and while you're at it can you tell the trophy company to start making trophies that look less edible

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @ravisinghs-wife  (happy race week everyoneee im so glad to be back)

[23victoria]

Medicine

cheater!charles leclerc x singer!fem!reader

fc: rihanna and other girls from pinterest

warnings: cussing…lots of it, cheating, cussing, sexual talk, talking shit about charles (please note that i do not agree with the things said it’s just for the fic 😭) i’m back from my breakkkk, much needed cause i have so many ideas to write and requests 🤭 hope yall enjoy this been sitting in my drafts for a min now 😭

authors note: if you wanna join my taglist, click HERE!

f1 masterlist

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, beyoncé, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, versace and 8,918,122 others

cannes festival 😘✨

view comments

username9 ohhh she ateeee 🥴✨

username21 bodied every motherfucking look 🤭✨

username8 im obsessed with her 🤧

lewishamilton fashion icon 🫶🏾🔥

username41 she ate all the girls up 😵‍💫

username11 she gorgeous, like wow 😵‍💫🥴✨

view more comments

messages

twitter

messages

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 10,968,347 others

i want revenge, i can’t fake it

sza you’re so hot

carlossainzjr 🔥🔥🔥

kehlani my wife is so sexy 🤤

victoriamonet tell em y/n/n 🤭

lewishamilton this is a look 😮‍💨🔥

landonorris 🤩

yukitsunoda you look hot 🥵

comments have been limited

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, yukitsunoda and 11,738,127 others

i don’t think you’ll understand, until i hit you where it hurts

view more comments

username1 YASSS QUEEENNNN 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

username12 she looks so fucking good 😫😫

username13 the bob is bobbing mhmmmm 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

username7 not her stabbing someone in the head?!?!

username9 yea she out for blooddd 🤭

username2 charles better tighten up his security and lock them doors

username9 THE BLACK LIP?!? THE BEAT?!?! YESSS!!!! 😩😮‍💨

comments have been limited

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, zendaya, yukitsunoda and 12,238,222 others

don’t get it twisted, i can play this game too

username1 HOLY FUCK

username15 she so hottt 🤤🤤

username3 how can you cheat on her

sza sexyyyy 😩😩

username22 yummmm

kehlani marry me please 🥴🤧

username69 on my knees for the goddess 🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

livelaughlovey/n i’ll cook, clean, do laundry, anything, i’ll do anything please please please please please let me be yours

username1 she can step on me and call me dog shit and i will say thank you 😍😍😍😍

charlesleclerc seriously y/n. can we please just talk? can you please unblock me? can you call me back or answer my messages please?

↳ username1 @.charlesleclerc i know you not - 😧😧😧

↳ username7 @.charlesleclerc be fucking forreal 🧍‍♂️

↳ username19 @.charlesleclerc the audacity of you mf 🖕🖕🖕

↳ username37 @.charlesleclerc are you deadass rn?!?! 😑

↳ username9 @.charlesleclerc yea your fucking delusional 🤣

↳ username81 @.charlesleclerc boy get the fuck off her page 😒

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, arianagrande, oscarpiastri, zendaya, judebellingham and 13,938,292 others

medicine tn at 12

view comments

sza yea my bitch is backkkk 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri revenge.

yukitsunoda yea charles never escaping this 🤣

kehlani bad girl y/n/n is back hoes 😈🔥

lewishamilton they not ready 😈

username19 those shall pay for their sins

username27 the three different stages of black?!?! three different stages of anger?!? betrayal?!?! revenge?!?!

↳ username33 @.username27 me when i over think and read into things 💀💀

comments have been limited

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 14,968,347 others

he treats me better than you and fucks me better than you 🥴😘 oh! and his dick is bigger as well 🤭

username1 oh - 😮

username3 speechless…🫢

yourbff as you motherfucking should

username17 IS THAT CARLOS?!? 😵

username9 omg!!! jaw dropped 😳

username10 yea she wins

username16 @.charlesleclerc she fucked your bestfriend…🤣🤣🤣

lewishamilton y/n you did not say this in the gc…

landonorris @.lewishamilton none of them did?!?

gerogerussell no heads up at all 😮

oscarpiastri damn 😵‍💫

maxverstappen so proud of you 🫶

yukitsunoda truly proud of this moment, @.charlesleclerc fuck you you fucking piece of shit, that why she’s fucking your ex-best friend 😘

livelaughlovey/n mother mothered ✨

carlossainzjr

liked by y/n_ig, sza, lewishamilton, landonorris, cardib, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 4,568,897 others

thank you charles, your loss was my gain 😘

username6 nahhh

username8 yeaa if i was charles i would be crying like a bitch rn

landonorris 😧😧 again?!?! no fucking warning?!?!

lewishamilton literally defeats the purpose of the gc, i’m not mad though 🤭

georgerussell we are supposed to be in on this, but i’m here for this 😊

oscarpiastri caption ate though i can’t lie 🫢

maxverstappen good job y/n/n 😤

yukitusnoda @.charlesleclerc this is what your bitchass gets you dumb fuck

username23 @.charlesleclerc please know that she was in fact riding carlos crazy like she said

livelaughlovey/n @.charlesleclerc she asked you how you would like it if she did the same to you…now you know 😍

username19 @.charlesleclerc she did say she was going to leave him crying 🤷🏽‍♀️

username69 @.charlesleclerc how’s the taste of you own medicine?!?! 🤭

username1 @.charlesleclerc you fucked around and found out ☺️😘

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[killakalx]

mind blown by the jealousy fic! i just love ur characterization of dick.

also now you've got me thinking abt him and sloppy seconds. like imagine you've gone to someone else and let them fuck you, but they just couldn't get you off, and you're just so frustrated. then you show up at his door in wrinkled clothes, still dripping wet, hair messed up and lips bitten red and his brain just whites out. maybe he's still not jealous, not exactly, but he is so pleased with himself. cause now it's not just "she knows where home is" but "she knows nobody else will ever do it better, no matter how hard they try." then he's teasing about how wet you are, how bad you wanna come, how easy you are for him, and he gets you off with just his fingers first just to prove he can. he has you damn near begging before he even fucks you for real, and even then he does it torturously slow, taking his time and making you whine for it while he touches you all over. before he lets you come he asks "who did it better, me or him?"

ur posts put some sort of devil in me istg <3 🫐

“i just love ur characterization of dick” ☹️❤️ im kissing u rn berry. this got longer than it was supposed to but that’s ok bc i’m in love with our best friend dick grayson

i think right here is where dick starts feeling bad. not in a sappy way, but not in a condescending way either. he opens the door and he just ogles at how sorry you look, contemplating how he’d go about it, but he just gives you that charming smile and waits for your green light.

say you’re more embarrassed than anything else. tried to go home and get yourself off, making yourself look worse in all the most miserable ways. all you give him is that look. the lowkey “if you tell anyone about this i’ll kill you” look. in that case he’s teasing you the entire time, shit talking whoever it was that left you dry while carelessly dipping his fingers into your mouth and getting you soaked with just his hand. that’s when he’s more than willing to keep you embarrassed and begging for him.

“stop being a dick,” you’d scold him with the same joke he’s heard a million times, trying to hold his wrist in place and keep him inside of you. then he just stops moving his fingers and the way you ache around them has his ego practically leaking out of his cock.

“did you fake it or what?” he talks over you when you start insulting him out of impatience. he likes continuing conversation as if it’s one of those old talks you two would have. yk…. without him being knuckles deep inside you.

just in case you didn’t hear him right, you’re giving him that confused look and still rolling your hips for some sort of relief “hn… what?”

“you had to act like you came,” dick explains despite being sure you knew what he meant, “or did he just assume you did after he gave you a sorry excuse of a fuck?”

“mind your business.”

“i’ve got you leaking around my fingers like a desperate slut and this isn’t my business?” he laughs at the gall you have but he is very serious bae. just before the banter continues he reaches deeper inside you, curling up and making you lose your words. “you’d tell me if you wanna cum so bad, babe.” now he’s got you spilling all the deets and his pace speeds up after every sentence, telling you to take your time and spit it out, huh?

however!! imagine you show up so frustrated there are tears in your eyes. you’re sick of everything. stress and stress and more stressed, piled on top of sexual frustration??? dick’s making you cum until the light in your brain goes out. he’s there for you, always. whether it’s pulling you in for a long hug or sitting you in his lap with your clothes stripped. most of the time it’s both.

“i know, i know,” he’s consoling you while kissing sucking at your pretty tits, thumb massaging your clit as your head rests on his shoulder. “let me fix this, mkay? stop cryin’.” on nights like these??? the way he fucks you makes you forget he’s not your husband of five years and counting. and after a while neither of you are too sure how to feel about that.

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 213,976 others

yourusername there’s no place like home

comments have been disabled

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[hayleythesugarbowl]

Omg if possible, could you do more Spencer with the fake insta stuff 😩😍😍 I’m absolutely loving it!!!

Dropping Hints || Spencer Agnew x reader (social media au)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist  ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: after you guest star in a smosh video, you and spencer start dropping hints of your relationship on insta

word count: 1k

warnings: mild language

a/n: ahh i’m so glad you enjoyed my previous spencer!insta fic (which u can find here!!) and i couldn’t resist writing this, i love this format sm. fem!reader. enjoy💋

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yourusername

liked by spennser, yourbestie, and 9,317 others

yourusername: take me back to smosh (and go watch their new vid bc i’m in it!! 💁‍♀️)

view all comments

smosh: we had so much fun filming with you!

⤷ liked by yourusername

ynmywife: omg i remember when she was just starting out 🥹 slay queen!

ribbitrabbit: my worlds are colliding rn

tweety122: i just watched it you’re so funny!

barbedcrier: i just watched it too (and i noticed how close her and spencer seemed 👀) myanacondadoes: barbedcrier omg same i just came from the vid and ur right they seemed like they already knew each other

urdad69: LOVE YOU (Y/N)!! 💙💙

yourbestie: I LOVE HER MORE ⤷ liked by yourusername

snazzyjoe: anyone else notice the pic of spencer?

jarshjarsh: YES!! not me staking all her socials looking for more evidence ursmoshismydrug: i love how this comment section is just detectives 😂 i just discovered (y/n) from smosh and i’m here for the tea 🤔

smosh_enjoyer: i’m actually in that photo

ladygagargoyle: yeah ok you wish yourusername: smosh_enjoyer omg i see you right behind the guy on the left ynslays: mother is mothering she’s so sweet 🥹🥹

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spennser

liked by co_mill, yourusername, and 12,413 others

spennser: smosh isn’t the same without yourusername

view all comments

jacklyn_uweh: and me though right?

spennser: wait who’s this 😃

yourusername: tag urself i’m the baby 💌🫶

⤷ liked by spennser

trevorevarts: hey that’s my hat!

amazingmayzie: you should do another don’t win mario party video!!

allie989: love you spencer

sabrinastan: omg so are spencer and (y/n) dating????

ynfangirly: i don’t know i can’t figure it out lmao maybe they might be thenotoriousrat: ynfangirly nahh there’s no maybe about it did you see the way he looked at her in that video? they’re together madmax: bro y’all need to calm down their just friends lolipopsfordays: madmax *they’re

yourbestie: you’re right yourusername he is cute

yourusername: 🫢🫢 livinlavidaloca: OMG OMG BESTIE MAKING AN APPEARANCE thefastandthefurriest: livinlavialoca and she didn’t deny it alskalskfg

laskfgai199: bring her back!! she’s so funny

spencerswife: yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning 🙇‍♀️

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yourusername

liked by spennser, erindougal, and 7,413 others

yourusername: pov u learned how to play fortnite today 👾

view all comments

spennser: pov u taught someone how to play fortnite today

yourusername: i taught myself thank you spennser: yourusername i have the 5 hours of my day to prove otherwise actually filmingamanda: i’m next!! ⤷ liked by yourusername

jerrylee77: oh my god he’s teaching her video games? they’re adorable 🥹

ricochetrhino: y’all im convinced they’re together

ynmylifemywife: she can’t be dating him bc she’s dating me 💁‍♀️ yourbestie: actually she’s dating ME

shimmyjimmy: they’re gonna pull a shourtney fr

spennser: yourusername which one of us is which though? yourusername: i’m shayne obviously spensser: i’ll be awaiting your proposal

thecashtoyourrubberband: ahh i love fortnite! have fun (y/n)!

americana19: i want their friendship

broseph_broestar: when she games 😏

milliebobbieorange: i tried to teach my bf how to play mario kart and he gave up lmao

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spennser

liked by mobile_suit_alex, phatchanse, and 21,014 others

spennser: was no one gonna tell me that i have four feet?

view all comments

yourusername: actually pretty sure two of those belong to me last i checked

⤷ liked by spennser

itsjustoneofthosedays: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THIS BASICALLY COMFIRMS IT

rachelgreenismother: wait they’d make such a cute couple 🥹

tswizzle87: spencer is so down bad for (y/n) literally all his posts lately have been about her

shaynetopp: i meant to tell you, i swear

⤷ liked by spennser

yourbestie: y’all 😭🫶

mamasays22: if this is true, he could do better tbh

spennser: pretty sure you got that backwards my guy pastasupremacy: spennser GOT ‘EM yourbestie: yourusername if you don’t take him i will

handyrandy: refreshing my feed like it’s april 1st tbh i’m obsessed with them

jennifer_dunlap: spencer in the last pic is a whole ass mood 😂

ponchovilla: wait who’s the girl in the first pic??

yemenpopulationchandler: her name’s (y/n) and she’s a content creator but she was in one of smosh’s videos and her and spencer acted really close and now they started posting about each other all the time and everyone’s convinced they're dating barbaraanne: yemenpopulationchandler okay paragraph guy (but yeah that’s pretty accurate)

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yourusername

liked by spennser, kianaparker, and 4,019 others

yourusername: my bf has four feet 🤭

view all comments

spennser: i’d love to meet this four-legged man

yourusername: look in the mirror babes samsungmilkyway: THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

captainofthedrarryship: THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

girlsgirl17: wake up queen posted 👑

simpymcgee: (y/n) is so hot 🥵 like call me alex cooper the way i be calling her daddy 🧎‍♀️

kianaparker: hard launch! love you guys

⤷ liked by yourusername

charlottesweeb: OMG YES I KNEW IT

skinnyvinny: RIGHTTT WE SHOULD ALL WORK FOR THE FBI vectorsnumberonefan: i’ve never been this happy for someone else 🥺 sorry mom

yourbestie: f i n a l l y

yourusername: 🖕😊 (love you) yourbestie: yourusername love u more spennser: i love her most peachesfromatlanta: i can’t they’re too cute 😭😭😭

spencer_slut: they cure my depression

godisgood: now that they are officially dating do you think she’ll be on smosh again we need her back nowww 🙏

yourusername: i’m counting on it! ⤷ liked by spennser

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spennser

liked by yourusername, anthonypadilla, and 17,915 others

spennser: *insert taylor swift lyrics*

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yourusername: i believe the one’s you’re looking for are from paper rings or sparks fly

spennser: isn’t there one about coffee? yourusername: spennser that’s sabrina 🤦‍♀️ kissthegirl: not spencer thinking taylor sang espresso 😭 so happy for them

anthonypadilla: congratulations guys

⤷ liked by spennser

co_mill: the couple of all time

⤷ liked by yourusername

strawberrysugar: that coming from courtney is wilddd yourusername: we’re still on for that couples game night friday right? co_mill: yourusername only if you and spence are ready to loose shaynetopp: ^ what she said

registeredpreist: can i just say spencer is servinggg in that first pic

leftylucy: they’re so perfect together 🤩

yourbestie: already writing my speech for your wedding

⤷ liked by spennser

ianhecox: yourusername but has he told you about the kickstart yet?

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed loves!! this was a blast to write and i luv spencer so much 💌

[tac-the-unseen]

JUST READ THE COD GANG REACTING TO READER FALING AN ORGASM SO WHAT IF READER ADMITS THEY NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE?????? LIKE- NEW RELATIONSHIP??????? SORRY FOR CAPS IM ECSTATIC RN BC UR WORK IS SO GOOD🫶🫶🫶🫶🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

COD characters finding out that Reader's past lover(s) have never given them an Orgasm.

Am I exactly sure what Anon is asking? No, But I will persist.

I'm choosing to write this with the interpretation of Reader never having an orgasm even though they've had sex with others. (The other way I read it was that Reader just flat out never had an orgasm before, and I think that's extremely unrealistic. So we're going with that one) ALSO because of the prompt You and the guys have yet to bump uglies!

Ghost:

•Simon is a little confused "Like...None of them?"

•He takes it very seriously

•He asks you to elaborate a little more. He just wants to know if the other guys sucked (or just didn't in this case) or if you two needed to do something specific in order to please you.

•He understands if you need some kind of accommodations and will ask you what he needs to do

•You and Simon have a long discussion over what you want your first time with him to be like. He makes sure you both have a clear understanding of what's to come (ha).

Soap:

•First thing he says is “Would you like to?”

•He thinks it's a little funny but really sad too

•”Darling, you're too pretty to let subpar men just use you.”

•He immediately wants to show you how it's done and what you've been robbed off

•He asks if he can take you for a “good ol' mustache ride”

Price:

•”Young men are dumb.” He says and takes a drag from his cigar

•”But I guess it's nice to know I have no competition.” He smiles

•He does talk to you about your needs and what he needs to do to meet them properly

•He takes you out on a nice dinner date, goes on a nice walk with you, and end up with his hands wrapped around your waist taking you home

Alejandro:

•Can not stop laughing

•As soon as you tell him he erupts into a fit of giggles. He takes him a full 3 minutes before he calms down enough to hug you and pat you back.

•”You poor thing.” he chuckles and kisses your cheek. “I'll make sure to make up for all their failures, Mi querida.”

•He’ll ask you what they were doing down there the whole time. Which leads to even more laughter when you tell him.

•”But I think I should buy you a nice dinner first.” he winks

Roach:

•Stunned

•Absolutely floored

•”Like never?” He signs. You can see the horror in his eyes

•He’s got his head in hands, contemplating life. He's so concerned for you. He has to take a moment of silence to comprehend the level of incompetence the men in your life must have had.

•When he finally sits up he looks you directly in the eyes and signs “Thank God I'm good with my hands.”

Gaz:

•Slowly turns his head to look at you with his brows furrowed and confusion

•Is too shock to speak

•He gets up to pour himself some Scotch

•”How many times have you had to fake an orgasm?” “8” he proceeds to down the entire drink and pour himself another

•This time he hands it to you “You need this more than me.”

Rudy:

•He gets up and takes a lap around the house

•When he gets back he pulls you into a hug

•”You deserve so much better, Mi Tesoro.”

•Kisses your jaw and runs his hands down your back. “I can give you so much better.” He tells you in-between kisses

•He offers you himself until your properly satisfied, for however long that takes

König:

•”Why do you like incompetent men?”

•He means it in a genuine way, But he accidentally reads you to filth.

•”Why spend your time and affection on someone who cannot please you?” he asks. “I didn't want to seem shallow.” You replied. “Shallow? Liebste, No.”

•He practically scolds you for allowing such men into your life. It's actually the most you've ever heard him speak. Which really tells you how upset he is.

•”You're Lucky I'm here. I will not let such things happen ever again.”

•And fuuuck, he means it

Mace:

•”Other men are filthy animals.” he tells you like it was a normal thing to say

•He gets in close to you and rests his arms on your hips. “Don’t get me wrong, I'm a man whore.” He laughs lightly and kisses you “But you knew that.”

•He asks you for all the funny details and thinks it would make a decent bonding experience.

•He tells you about his less than great sex stories and failures

•”Rest assured sweetheart, I'm a pro at making people scream.”

Thanks for reading <3

(I realize now that I wrote them all in different mindsets of this prompt... Good luck with that, I guess)