#i actually do have a lot of thoughts about this and i'm sure i'll expand on them later

[butch-chastity]

my most useless headcanon: rich is colorblind

plus, what gamora would look like via richie vision:

[scientia-rex]

Long ask. I didn't see that you had answered anything similar.

How do I do activism? Yes, I could Google it, but I would rather learn from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience on Tumblr than from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience anywhere else, and I'm here and so are you and we can talk and have a [para]social interaction. I won't bore you with a condensed autobiography, but I have a lot of experience fixing mistakes, not unlike being a physician, but far less noble, what David Graber would call a "duct-taper". It's partly what led me to socialism. I fixed mistakes but could not fix the root causes and, when I investigated those causes, I ran into structure. I couldn't explain the human behavior I witnessed as human nature, because it wasn't my nature and, as far as I know, I'm human, so the only explanation I could come up with was that the structure of the company I worked for created the problems I was trying to solve, and I had no power to change that structure, and no desire to join the psychopaths failing up the corporate ladder. I expanded my thinking outward and saw the problem inherent in capitalism and all the associated -isms and -archies, all the while trying to figure out what I could do that could possibly change any of it. I dove into progressive politics, read theory, consumed all the lefty content I could find, and thought, and keep running into the same problems. But even if the root causes cannot be addressed, the effects still need to be, because the effects are people, hence activism.

How do I talk to congresspeople? I email them about issues, but am frankly afraid to call them. Shall I get voice mail, or does a person pick up? If the latter, I'm assuming it will be a secretary. I don't want to be mean to a person answering phones. I've been one of those people getting yelled at or threatened because of events I did not cause and could not possibly prevent or change and, maybe I'm oversensitive or have PTSD or just a hyperactive amygdala, but I cannot overstate the damage those negative experiences cause. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, the lives that can be saved or improved outweigh a few people's hurt feelings or possible psychological trauma, but I would prefer not to turn this into a trolley problem if at all possible. Maybe it's a stupid question. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I can be charming and I have no lack of empathy; I can politely disagree. Shall I have to argue with anyone? Or is it a thank-you-for-your-participation-I-will-tell-the-congressperson-have-a-nice-day situation?

How do I get a job doing good things for people? This is somewhat pressing as I quit my corporate job five years ago, to have what turned out to be a midlife crisis, and have been living off savings (that are running out) ever since. I want to help and don't want to be ashamed of what I do for a living. I've always been able to do anything I've ever tried to do, but I'm 45 with little formal education or qualifications, and am thinking it's maybe too late to go back to school. Most of the non-profits I see seem like little more than scams. And perhaps the most serious complication: I'm a loner, more out of habit than inclination. I'll spare you the background, but I have no connections and no idea how to make them, and I don't believe I have any particular skills so valuable that should confer an immediate advantage or demand for my labor, but then again I don't know what is in demand.

It's OK if you can't answer some of these things. I simply have no one to talk to about them who can give any actual advice and figured you might. Thanks.

How to do activism: The first thing you need to know is your axe to grind. It was easy for me. I've been out since I was 13, nobody ever believes a girl is bisexual, it's always "you want attention" or "you're secretly a lesbian." That was in 1997. I went through hell and I'm bitter about it. So when I realized I liked medicine, I realized I could turn my life into an extended revenge arc by moving home and telling everybody it's OK to be gay. Two birds, one stone. I work with a woman who didn't get her axe to grind until about three years ago. She realized she was fed up with people abandoning dogs. She's one of the most active volunteers at the local shelter now. She's saved a lot of dogs' lives. She didn't start out knowing anything about it, but she told the shelter she wanted to volunteer, and they've helped her grow through the rest of it. My husband works with the local food bank, because his mom's neighbor (who is a family friend and sweetheart) wrangled him in to serving on the board, so now in addition to board meetings once a month he goes in sometimes to do things like help his mom's friend unload trucks. Sometimes the cause picks you, sometimes you pick the cause, sometimes you are the cause. And no matter what the cause is, someone else is already working on it. Someone else already cares deeply and if you show up ready to be hands on and help out, with humility because you know that you don't know everything, they will help you learn how to be effective. I started out in medicine by volunteering at the emergency room near where I lived. I pushed a linen cart around and restocked gowns in rooms, and when I couldn't fit any more washcloths into drawers I cleaned doorknobs. One of the nurses once told me she really appreciated that I cleaned all the doorknobs, because it wasn't getting regularly done. I am in medicine now because of many, many people I asked for help and who helped me because they wanted to contribute to justice and equity in medicine, whether for queers or rural people or women. This is, and has always been, a combined effort. Alone we beg, together we bargain.

Calling elected representatives: Oh god I know, me too, calling strangers is the LITERAL WORST. I'm 40 and I'd rather pepper-spray myself than argue with a human on the phone. Wait until after hours and you'll get a voicemail. I like to leave voicemails that start with "My name is Dr. Rex, I'm a constituent of yours, and I VOTE, and I'm calling about ____." That's honestly about all it takes--when I was hanging out with the lobbyist she told me they keep lists with tick-marks for how many calls, emails, etc., they get on a topic. Calls count for more. The more effort you have to put in, the more engaged they know you are. So call, but if people scare you (and the people who pick up are almost always nice, if you do get a person, and they will 99/100 times say "thank you for your call, we will pass your concerns along to so-and-so"), call at night.

Going back to school is probably unnecessary. Spin your past experience aggressively and start applying to nonprofits. (You "took time off from the working world in order to sharpen your focus on what matters most to you," which will be whatever this particular group does.) It's OK if you pick a bad one to start with; most of them are shit-shows, and lots of them still accomplish good things. Nonprofits are a bloodbath when it comes to actually being an employee--they know that part of the compensation is the sense of living ethically and they will use your altruism against you--so keep your resume updated and be prepared to bail if grant funding doesn't come through, but most areas have food banks and pet shelters and human shelters and jails and medical clinics and hospitals (for every doctor who works at the local hospital there are at least 10 support staff by the numbers, and they are utterly critical and always under-staffed). Sometimes if you start by volunteering somewhere, once they realize you're dependable, you can get a job there. I am zero percent kidding about working for a hospital, clinic, or jail, by the way. Those are places I know well, and there are always civilian jobs available. You want to make a patient's day better? Be the front desk, front line staff who use the right pronouns and cheer them up.

I think it's completely reasonable to have procedural questions about how all of this works, and I am grateful to you for giving me a chance to talk about it a bit. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions. And for reference, when I was just starting out in research at a time when the market for research-trained people frankly sucked, I applied well over 300 times and got well over 300 rejections (I was counting) before I ended up with a job that I loved (even though it was hellishly stressful and I made just barely more than minimum wage for working well over my alleged, salaried "hours") and felt like I was making a positive difference for the world with. And from there, I kept making changes as I realized what I wanted and needed. Just keep doing it. You don't have to feel good about every step, you don't have to know what you're doing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you try to figure out what will make you happy. Because nothing else is a good proxy for happiness, and happiness, for a whole lot of humans, means finding something meaningful to do in life. Helping others. Be okay with changing, be okay with sacrificing who you are right now for the sake of who you can become. You've survived four decades on this bizarre and cruel planet, and you have inherent, intrinsic worth as a human being. You deserve your own kindness.

[nottapossum]

Itty bitty sinners part 1.3

LEGO HOUSE!

Tw: Implied r*pe and abuse, little in distress, implied abusive relationship, implied child abuse, being called a failure, crying, keeping secrets, hiding ones little headspace, lmk if I should add.

I'm gonna pick up the pieces And build a Lego house When things go wrong we can knock it down My three words have two meanings There's one thing on my mind, it's all for you And it's dark in a cold December But I've got ya to keep me warm And if you're broken I'll mend ya And I keep you sheltered from the storm That's raging on now.' Lego house ~Ed Sheeran.

~~~Sir Pentious and Charlie:~~~

“Okay, Pentious. I feel like the best way to get you to heal is if we start encouraging your regressed self to come out so we can heal that inner child!” Charlie announces. 

“How are we supposed to do that?” Pentious asks. “I've never even refresssed before.”

“It's regressed, actually.” Charlie corrects. “And there are many ways to start! Today I think we should take it easy.” She explains. “Do something fun to relax you.”

“Okay? I suppose.” Pentious says. He does trust Charlie, he figures if she wanted to kill him, she already would have, so he has nothing to lose, right? 

Charlie and Pentious are in her office for the hotel's very first regression session. 

Charlie is no therapist or an expert on regression and healing- but, hey! How hard could it be? 

Charlie offers her hand to Pentious, and he takes it. 

She walks him over to the small couch and coffee table in the room. 

“I got you a gift.” Charlie says, holding up a present wrapped in yellow and blue wrapping paper. 

“A gift? For me?!” Pentious asks, his pupils expanded. But he stops himself from taking it. “Wait a minute- how do I know this isn't an explosive of some kind?” He asks. 

“It's not.” Charlie says.

“That's exactly what someone who has an explosive would say!” He says. “You can't fool me, miss missy!” He hissed. 

Charlie rolls her eyes. “Okay, I'll open it to prove there's nothing to be afraid of.”

“No! I want to open it!” Pentious says, taking the gift and unwrapping it.

“You sure you're not little now?” Charlie mumbles. 

“What is this?” Pentious asks. 

Under the paper, there was a box with a building of some sort on it, and when he shook it, it made a rattling noise. 

“This is a lego set!” Charlie says. “I figured since you love to build, this would be the perfect toy for you.” She says. Charlie takes the box and opens it, pouring its contents onto the table. 

“Well, now you've gone and broke my new box.” Pen complains. 

“No no no, it's supposed to be opened.” Charlie says. “We follow this instruction manual to put the house together.” 

Pentious looked at the colorful blocks with intrigue. “And this will help me ‘regress’ as you say?” He asks, adding quotation marks around the word ‘regress’.

“Can't hurt to try.” Charlie says. “Now, If you'd like, I can help you, but if you would rather do it yourself, that's okay too.”

“I…” Pentious thought about it for a moment but then smiled at Charlie. “I'd like to do it together.”

“Great! Let's start with bag one!” Charlie says. 

Pentious agrees. He's actually feeling a lot calmer, more willing to try this. 

He knows about building, there's no pressure in it, and at least he's not alone.

Charlie grabs the little booklet and they take turns following each page exactly. 

Charlie started with the base, then told Pentious to do the next page. 

“You're a natural at this, Pen. Are you sure you've  never played with Legos before?”

“It's not rocket science.” He says as he places the blocks as the picture shows. “I'm used to working with heavier machinery than this.”

“Right, but still. You're doing a great job.” She says.

He was a little confused by the compliment, he didn't accomplish anything new, it was just a toy, right? It wasn't going to be used for anything practical. 

But the compliments didn't stop there, every time he did something new, she told him he was doing a good job.

Having Charlie there to compliment everything he was doing… it was so different from what he was used to…

“Charlie?” He asks.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” She asks. 

“Compliment me.” He explains. “It's nice- but they're only blocks. Right?”

“Right, but you are doing a good job.” She says. “It doesn't matter how big or small it is. It's nice to be noticed when you do something well. Right?”

Pentious looked down at the blocks again…

Suddenly he can recall being a kid. 

He was always interested to see how things worked. 

He was always interested in building, creating something magnificent!

He worked so hard, all the time. 

Trying to be something! To change the world for the better…

‘You will never get anywhere with these lousy contraptions.’ 

‘You are a disgrace.’ 

‘He won't amount to much.’

‘So much wasted potential.’

And it never changed, the older he got, the degradation got worse. 

Then, the worse he got. 

‘You are a fucking loser.’

‘This is exactly why no one loves you.’

‘You must be really bad at this.’

Pentious's breathing tighten. 

“Pen? Are you okay?” Charlie asks. 

Pentious set his arms on the coffee table and set his chin atop of them. “You don't have to be nice to me.” He says. “I know you only do it because you have to.”

“I do it because I mean it.” Charlie says. “No one here has made as much progress as you have, Pen.” She says. 

“There wasn't much to work with.” He mumbles. 

Charlie rests a hand on his shoulder. “Pen, you are a lot…” She says.

Pentious raises an eyebrow.

“In a good way!” Charlie says loudly. “I just- you have so much good about you! I can see it. And in any case…you deserve kindness.” 

“How?” He asks. 

Charlie frowns. “Everyone deserves kindness, at least in the beginning. I'm sorry no one showed you that when you needed it.” 

Pentious looked away from her again, not exactly sure how to respond…or process that. 

Was kindness something he was supposed to be familiar with all along? 

If kindness was something most kids understood…

Why wasn't he worthy of it before? 

“Pentious?” Charlie asks. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.” He says, wiping away some tears. “Don't worry about me.”

Charlie takes his hand. “Hey…”

Pentious turned to look at her.

“It's going to be okay, kiddo. Whoever hurt you before, they can't hurt you now.” She promised.

Pentious nods, trying to calm down. Why was he crying?! He shouldn’t be!

“Do you need a hug?” Charlie asks.

Pentious shakes his head. “No, I'm alright. I was just taken by surprise.” He explains.

Charlie nods. “It's okay, this is a safe place, no one here is going to judge you, especially not for showing emotion. It's a good thing, a healthy thing.”

“Are you sure about that?” Pentious asks. 

“Absolutely.” Charlie says. “You're doing a great job; I am so proud of you.”

Pentious smiles despite the tears. “T-thank you, Charlie.” 

~~~Vox and Velvette:~~~

Vox had only begun working when he got the call from Velvette. 

“What's up, Vel?” He answered.

He hears soft crying on the other end of the call. 

Oh shit. Not good.

“Vel?... Velbelle?” He asks. “What's going on? Are you okay? What happened?” 

“Mmm.” She whines. “I-I tried to stay big, Vox.” she says, wiping some tears away. “I really did.”

“Hey, it's okay, Vel. It happens. Do you want me to take care of you?” He asks. 

She nods. “Yeah.”

“Alright, I'll be right there, Princess. Hang on.” He says, hanging up on her. 

Vox assigned jobs to his…employees then headed over to Velvette's room. 

“Vel?” He asks, knocking on the door. 

Velvette opened the door fast and hugged Vox tightly. “I'm sorry.” She cries, hugging him close. 

“Hey, it's okay.” Vox says. “Did you call Val?” He asks. 

Velvette nods. “After I called you, but he didn't answer.” She says.

Vox nods. “Alright.” He picks her up and sits down on the couch with her in his arms. 

“It’s alright, baby. I'm here.” he says, patting her back gently. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” He asks. 

Velvette shakes her head, then buries her face on his shoulder. 

“Alright, Princess.” Vox pets her head gently. “You don't have to.”

Vel starts to relax against Vox, finally feeling calmer after the rough day she's had. 

“Do you want anything, sweetie?” Vox asks.

Velvette doesn't want Vox to move, but she wants her doll. 

Ugh! There's no predicament worse than this predicament!

She whines again, not wanting to say it- because Vox will move, and she can't have that right now!

Vox can tell Velvette is getting a little fussy, so he decides to put something on to calm her down. 

The TV turns on and Sofia the first starts to play. 

Vox texts Val to give him updates on Velvette, he's hoping he might take over sometime mid-day so he can get some work done.

But he got no response. 

Velvette eventually gets up and grabs her dolls after the first few episodes of Sofia play. 

“V?” Velvette asks. 

“Yeah, Vel?” Vox asks. 

“Play wif me?” She asks, handing him one of her dolls. 

Vox smiles and takes the doll. “Anything for you, princess.” 

He may have had a lot to do today, but Vox honestly didn't mind playing with her.  He needs to practice hairstyling anyway. 

And hey, if it brings a genuine smile to her face, it's worth missing a day of work. 

~~~Charlie and Sir Pentious:~~~

Pentious finished the lego set. It was a decent sized set but it felt as if it took them no time at all. 

“Great job, Pen! High-Five!” Charlie shouts

Pentious tilted her head. “High...what?”

“High-five! It's like clapping but with friends.” Charlie explains. “To congratulate you for a job well done.”

“Oh! Okay.” Pentious says.”How does it work?”

“You hold up your hand, and I will hit it with my hand and it'll make a clapping sound.”

“Oh, alright, I will give this high-fiving a try.” He says, pen held up a hand and Charlie high-fived him. 

Pentious smiles. “That was…cool!” Pentious says. “Could I give you one?” He asks. 

Charlie chuckles. “Sure thing.” She held up her hand and Pentious high-fived her back. 

Pentious smiles, that was actually pretty fun. 

“Pen, before we end this session, is it okay if I ask you some questions?” Charlie asks. 

“Are they going to be as difficult as the questions on the test?”

“No, I'm just curious about how you felt today went.” She explains.

“Oh, well. I liked it…I had a nice time.” He says.

“Did it make you feel any younger?” Charlie asks next. 

Pentious shrugs, he was reminded of his childhood a lot- but he still felt like the same person as always. Just- vulnerable-er. 

“It's okay, we can try again tomorrow if you want.” Charlie suggests. “Even if you don't regress, it's a good stress reliever.”

“I think I would like that.” He agrees. 

Today was fun! Even if it's a bit confusing…

But, either way he enjoyed spending time with Charlie and receiving complaints for his efforts.

Maybe this regression thing could actually help him.

~~~Vox, hours later:~~~

Vox has been with Velvette all day. 

Not once did Val answer his texts or calls-

He's been spending all day today and yesterday with Angel Dust!

Something about ‘making him pay for leaving.’

But, it didn't fucking matter! They had a child to take care of, there are priorities!

Vox calls Val again, and this time he doesn't stop until Val answers.

“What?” Valentino answers harshly. 

Oh, so he can answer the phone. How nice. 

“Val, where are you? I've been trying to reach you all day!” Vox complains. 

“I am with Angel Dust.” He purrs. “Why? Are you jealous, baby?” ~

“Val, why don't you leave Angel alone for now and meet me in Velvette's room?” Vox asks. 

“Why would I do that?” Vox asks, very obviously smiling at something behind the phone. Probably Angel. 

“Because we have a little…princess who needs our… special attention.”

Valentino is quiet for a moment. “What?”

Vox rubs his head. “For fucks sake.” He mumbles. “Velvette is regressed! And I could use some help.” Vox whispers harshly. 

“Okay Okay, for Satan's sake, you don't need to shout.” Val says. 

“Look, I have a lot of work to do, and-” 

“Oh! And I don't?!” Val asks. 

“Fucking with Angel is not work; besides you have been filming nonstop for two days. I think you’re due a break anyway. I have work that I haven't been able to accomplish because I've been taking care of Velvette while you ignored all her calls.” 

“You can work from anywhere.” Val points out. 

“Just-” Vox grips the phone tightly. 

There's nothing the moth loved more than to get on his nerves.

 “I'm not playing games, Val! Get. Over. Here!” Vox says.

“Fine, whatever.” Valentino hangs up.

Thank fuck! 

Vox turns back to Velvette who was asleep in his arms. 

“You're lucky you're so cute.” He says, petting her hair. “You know that?”

Velvette wrapped her arms around his neck.

Yeah, she knows.

~~~Valentino and Vox:~~~

Valentino hung up the phone, looking over at Angel who was absolutely exhausted.

Good, he should know who he belongs to. 

“Looks like we'll have to cut today short.” He says. “But I want you all back here bright and early tomorrow!” He shouts. 

The crew started to pack up their things.

Angel sighs in relief, seeming really happy to finally go home.

“Did you get that, Angel?” Valentino asks. 

“Yes, Val.” Angel says, turning away from him. 

“Good.” Val says, then walks out to meet the other V's. 

~~~~

“Thank fuck, where have you been?” Vox asks as Valentino finally walks into the room. 

“Had some things to take care of.” Val says. “What's her deal today?”

“I don't know, she didn't want to tell me.” Vox says. 

“Aw, poor baby girl.” He says. “Did you have a rough day?” He asks the sleeping girl.

Vox hands Velvette over to Val. “Take this.” 

“The fuck?” Val asks, still taking her though. 

Vox sighs. “I told you I had important work. Plus, I've been with her all day. So guess what? Tag, you're it.” He says smiling before exiting the room to leave them. 

Val rolls his eyes, but then smiles at Velvette. “You are lucky you're so cute, babydoll.” Valentino says to her.

~~~Alastor:~~~

Things were relatively quiet at the hotel, probably due to Charlie trying to fix everyone with her stupid test. 

In what way does knowing someone acts like a child from time to time help them with redemption?

Why, Alastor has known many regressors who are also horrible fucking people- take him for example.

Being a regressor did not stop him from brutally murdering and eating the corpse of his very own-

“Alastor! I caught six bugs today! I stabbed them to death and drank their blood!” Niffty rambles as she jumps on Alastor's head, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Hello, Niffty.” Alastor says. “How are you on this fine day?”

“Great! The flying goats flew away from me when I tried to give them a haircut today!”

“That's nice, dear.” Alastor says.

“Hey, Alastor, guess what?! Charlie said I'm not a pet anymore! Isn't that nuts!?” She asks, laughing. “I told her that was ridiculous! Ooo! And I saw a bug near Florence the stain! And I cleaned the hotel six times! Hehehe, It must be cleaaaaaan!!!” She giggles evilly.

Alastor exhales, and removes the young woman off his head. “Niffty, dear?” 

“Yes?”

“Go play in your maze for a bit.” He says. “You need to wear yourself out so you'll actually sleep tonight.” He says. “We don't need you running around here after dark.”

“Okay!” Niffty squeaks and runs to her room.

Alastor chuckles, oh how he adores Niffty’s energy and enthusiasm. 

What was he thinking about? Oh yes, Charlie's regular delusions. 

 Oh, when will she ever learn? 

~~~Charlie:~~~

“Vaggie Vaggie Vaggie!!!” Charlie runs full speed towards her girlfriend. She grabs her hand and swings her around.

“Woah- what happened?” Vaggie asks once they stopped spinning. 

“Today's session with Pentious was amazing! I feel like I can really make a difference and help them all heal!” Charlie says excitedly. 

“And by them all, you mean Angel and Pentious, right?” Vaggie asks. 

“I mean all of them!” She says. “I mean Angel and Pentious, Niffty and Husk, and Alastor!” 

“Charlie…” Vaggie rests her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders. “Remember that conversation about taking things too far and buying the whole little store? We're there.” Vaggie says. “You can't force someone to heal if they don't want to.”

“I know that!” Charlie says. “I'll just lightly suggest it a few times, and eventually when they want to heal, I'll be here!” She says.

“Charlie, I know you want to help them but remember when we talked about boundaries.” She reminds. 

“Don't worry, Vaggie. I won't do anything too extreme; I promise.” She says. “Ooo! What if we built a whole nursery for everyone!?” 

She hears the front door of the hotel opening, and Charlie grips Vaggie's hands excitedly. “I'll bet that's Angel! I'm going to tell him the awesome news!”

“Charlie, wait-” Vaggie tries to stop her, but it's too late. 

~~~Angel:~~~

Angel walked back into the hotel, exhausted and overwhelmed.

How can someone be so fucking cruel?

‘How could you be so cruel, I was just trying to help you!’ 

Angel shivers at the memory.

He has to stop going back there…

“Oh, Angel!” Someone touches his shoulder, causing him to flinch and jump back violently. “Ah!-”

“Oh, sorry.” Charlie says. “You okay?”

“What do you want, Charlie?” Angel sighs in both annoyance and relief. 

“Where have you been? It's been two days.” Charlie says. 

Angel crosses his arms “Uhm work. Where else would I be?” He asks.

“Oh right. Well, after everyone took the test, we've been working on improving the hotel by helping everyone's individual needs, and it's been going great!” She says.

“Cool.” Angel says as apathetic as possible in hopes she'll actually get the message that he's not interested in talking to her right now.

He starts to move again when Charlie grabs his arm. “What?” He asks, annoyed.

“We were hoping you might take the test too.” Charlie says. 

“I'm good.” He says, continuing to walk upstairs to his room. 

“Oh…okay.” Charlie says. “Well, I'm here if you change your mind!” She shouts so he can hear her. 

Angel shuts and locks the door and exhales sharply. 

He's okay, he's here, he's at the hotel now, he's fine! 

He takes a second to calm down as tears pour down his face.

What a lousy fucking week. 

He hated Val more than he ever thought possible! 

He kneels onto the floor next to his bed and removes the floorboards under it. 

He pulls out his special box he had stashed away. 

Angel grabs the key (which was hidden inside his pillowcase.) And unlocks the box. He grabs his small baby blanket he had hidden inside it.

He keeps digging through the box for his pacifier, but it's not there. 

He looks around the room, it has to be here! Where is it? 

Then he felt a small scratch on his leg. 

He looks down and sees Fat Nuggets, holding the pacifier by the handle in his mouth. 

Angel takes it from him. “Thanks, Nuggs.” He pets the little pig then holds him close. 

He puts his binkie in his mouth and crawls onto the bed, holding Nuggets and the blanket close to him. 

He’s okay…

He’s safe now. 

Val can’t hurt him…

Not here…

No one can.

Yeah.

Angel's tears fall faster as he sinks his face into his pillow. 

He wished he could believe that…

He pulls out his phone real quick and puts on an episode of Peppa Pig. 

He finds himself suddenly smiling.

And he can finally relax. 

'I'm out of touch, I'm out of love I'll pick you up when you're getting down And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now.' ~Ed Sheeran, Lego house.

Notes: I know it's not super interesting yet, but it'll get there, I promise.

@todayimfour

[wolfydoesstuff]

I've got a lot to say about Dark, not gonna lie.

This whole thing is based on my interpretation of AvA, by the way! Everything is just what I, a random person on the internet, thinks about a little red stick figure.

Note: I'll be using he/him for Dark and they/them for Chosen. (In normal conversation, both would be he/they or he/they/it in Dark's case, but it's easier on my brain to stick with one set per character.)

The thing about Dark is that he's very un-fleshed out. And that's almost "fine," if he was a one-off antagonist in AvA 5, maybe I could let it slide, but here we are.

Like, sure, we got The Flashback, but that was all from Chosen's perspective. Dark is there when he's relevant, but no more than that. He's been shown as nothing but "raahhhhh stab stab murder destroy" in most of The Showdown when I feel like AvA 3 and The Flashback established him as being more than that.

He was completely chill before being programmed (something I'm going to revisit), was able to work with what was in front of him, and had actually interesting interactions with other characters for being as early in the series as it was.

Later, The Flashback gave us a little bit more, with him being actually proud of making the ViraBot and also seeming to expect Chosen to be as well. Also Chosen and Dark high-fiving. That was just cute.

And then we got The Showdown. Don't get me wrong, I love the episode so much, but I feel like they took the previously established Dark and picked what they wanted to use and just forgot about it, turning him into a crazed murderer with no real transition to that from just wanting to do shit with Chosen. Then he slaughtered RYGB in cold blood and was blasted into a cliff.

Now a lot of people are saying how they don't think he'll ever come back and honestly, if that's what ends up happening, that'd just be sad.

Because Dark has so much goddamn potential.

He's already got interesting things that can be revisited and expanded upon more. After his (possibly temporary) writing off, I still had unanswered questions about him and his character.

We don't really know how much his programming affects him and his 'normal' life. Does being with Chosen and not doing anything to destroy them like his programming says he should? Are there any other things that come with being programs? Other pros and cons? We've got no fuckin' clue!

How does Dark feel about things in general? Life mindset, reactions to things going wrong outside of just murder, hell, even just an actual personality. Things that, for the most part, require a living, breathing Dark, whether to actually make sense or just not be as awkward.

And I've heard the arguments that not all the villains should have redemption arcs and Dark being dead is a reminder that there's other options, and I wholeheartedly agree.

I think that Dark could be brought back and be expanded upon while still being an antagonist. We can get to know him as a person, feel with him more.

And then it'll happen.

It'll seem like things are going well, he's going to turn around, but he doesn't. (This could also be a great opportunity to bring back to programming aspect.) And so, for one reason or another, Dark ends up actually dead, and people actually care for reasons other than its affect on Chosen.

And I feel like it's fitting.

The one who murders in cold blood for whatever reason is killed off at the end right as he tries to be different. (Or doesn't and just ends up being more sympathetic than we first thought.)

And that, my dear reader, is how to make the audience hurt and actually grieve a character, if only for the moments that they're dying.

Anyway, that turned from a rant-ish thing to what I'd do with a character, but I hope this whole thing made sense and you all have a good day.

Bye >:3

[crystalyssa35]

A General Guide to Writing Well, Now, & Consistently

In all my years writing, I have struggled with keeping writing as a fun and healthy habit. It took me five years (and many instances of writer's block and giving up) to actually have a basic set of guidelines to keep my writing going...

And I would like to share these "rules" with you all today!

Now, a bit of a disclaimer: developing the quality of your writing skills comes with time, research, and thinking. It may sound frustrating to hear, and you may hear it often, but the only way to get better at writing is to write and read often. Many times, just by jotting a silly thought down or reading fanfiction, you can spawn ideas without realizing it.

Now, to the list of tips that (I hope) will help you on your writing endeavors!

If you are not having fun writing your story, your readers will not have fun reading it. It sounds silly, but it's true! If you're enjoying your writing, you're more likely to write more and input more ideas into it!

Even if you have people to check your works, reread them on your own anyway. This may be a little frustrating tip for some, but let me tell you: I used to HATE checking my own stuff. The worst way I learned that personally checking it is a necessity was when my aunt checked it and pointed out tens of mistakes within my grammar, storyline, and characters. Check yo work, it will save you a LOT of embarrassment in the future.

Write anything. Read everything. As ambiguous and obscure as it will sound, it makes sense with context. As I mentioned before, the only way to get better at writing is to write and read often. Write anything your mind desires, that's simple enough. But read EVERYTHING; not only books, blogs, and articles, but also games, texts with friends, billboards, pictures with text, and (sorry, students) even homework as well. You'll be surprised how much your vocabulary expands when you actually pay attention to anything that is written (for me, it was video games. Seven-year old me knew vocabulary that I was taught in seventh grade because of it). And on that note...

Research what you don't know. Please, this one is genuinely important (I'm biased because it's one of my pet peeves). This includes words you don't know the definition of, spelling, and even generic, real-life information you want to add into your stories (e.g. I actually spent four hours researching how gemstones are categorized for my sci-fi story: Eco-Adstrum). Unfortunately, sometimes researching and fact-checking your ideas before writing them down can prove to be unmotivating, especially when you're wrong. But, it's always good to stay optimistic and be creative enough to twist the actual fact to mold it to your stories. Unless you're writing non-fiction, then maybe don't do that last bit.

If you have no ideas, keep wiggling your pencil. To those that recognize that phrase, yes, it is not my own. This is a piece of writing from former Tumblr user "officialtheonite" (I was only able to find the post because it has been reblogged multiple times) and their fifth grade writing teacher. Essentially, even if you have no ideas, keep writing. Write ANYTHING, even if it doesn't make sense. You will always be able to double-check it later and you will save yourself a lot of wasted time sitting around trying to stir the soup in your brain.

Balance the usage of your names and pronouns. To this day, I still struggle with this. I tend to use an abundance of pronouns when I'm referring to a character, so much so that sometimes, it becomes unclear on if we are still talking about aforementioned character or if we're talking about a different character entirely. Use names when the focus or action of a character is on stage; use pronouns if we are still talking about said character (even if we are talking about the same character, make sure you at least reiterate their name when there's a new paragraph).

I'll be editing and reworking this list as time goes on. I hope these tips can be of use so some of you all. Feel free to ask me any questions if needed. Enjoy writing and keep at it! I believe in you all!

[tyrantisterror]

Fantastic Rants and Where to Find Them

So, back when the Herbie Porber movies were still being made, Warner Brothers saw the cash cow on their hands and decided they had to lock that shit down as much as possible to make sure they could milk it until its teats were chafed and withered to nothing. To that end, they bought the rights to every book the Terf Queen had written by that point - which included all the Henry Pansley wizard school mystery books, but also two gag books set within the Henry Pansley world: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which was presented as an in-universe biology textbook for wizard children, and Quidditch Through the Ages, which was an in-universe book of trivia for a fake magical sport.

And at the time everyone with a brain who'd read those two books was shaking their head and thinking how dumb those corporate executives were to do that because, like, those aren't novels or novelas or short stories or narratives of any kind. They are, and I cannot stress this enough, a fake textbook and a fake trivia book about fake things written in a slapdash manner as a cheap gag. They existed for three reasons:

First, to sell something Herbie Porber related at a significantly lower price point than the actual novels so the Terf Queen could get more of that sweet, sweet Scholastic Book Fair money by having something poor kids could buy.

Second, to give a portion of the proceeds raised from that poor kid book fair money to charity so the Terf Queen could get some nice tax writeoffs.

And as a distant third, to expand the world-building of the Henry Pansley setting a teensie bit.

Now, as far as I'm aware, they succeeded at the first two well enough - tons of kids bought those cheap-ass thin as shit paperbacks when I was a kid, myself among them. Well, ok, I only bought Fantastic Beasts and skipped Quidditch because even during the height of my Herbie Porber fan days I thought the Terf Queen's imaginary sport was really fucking stupid and every time it popped up in the books I was bored as shit and tried to skim it as quickly as possible to get to the interesting stuff. I think I looked over the book once in a Barnes and Noble and thought, "Wow, I knew I thought real sports were boring as shit, but it turns out fake ones are even more so."

But back on track - goal number three was... kind of successful, I guess? Like, I don't know if you know this, but bestiaries of fictional animals are one of my big interests. I love a big book of made up creatures, and have collected many in my long life of thirty-four years. And as I said, I got a copy of Fantastic Beasts - technically several, because those cheap ass paperbacks disintegrated if you read them more than once, and I haven't met a bestiary that I haven't poured over several times, no matter how shitty. And despite how often I read it, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was, well... pretty mid, honestly. It's a book that's 99% world-building, and like all of the Terf Queen's world-building, it's overall mediocre and undercooked.

Like, in pure Herbie Porber style, it's mostly concepts that have been done in fantasy fiction and mythology dozens of times before with no real original spin on them whatsoever, often stripped down to their most recognizable elements alone. There are a smattering of original ideas that are actually interesting an novel, a few more original ideas that have potential but don't seem very well-thought out as is, and then some that are clearly just there to be a joke and are amusing for, like, a second, but also would quickly become annoying if they were given any focus.

I'll give a very me-specific example. As a fan of vaguely medieval european fantasy tropes, one of the metrics by which I judge a bestiary is "How does this handle dragons?" Because, like, I don't know if you know this, but I love dragons a lot, and the sheer variety of dragons in fiction is one of my favorite things in the world. There is a smorgasbord of different dragons a person can choose from just in folklore and mythology alone, and that variety is reflected in a given bestiary, the higher I think of it.

The Terf Queen's bestiary gives us ten dragon breeds... and they're all more or less the same except for scale color and minor variations in size. Oh, and their names, which are all based on different dog breeds because the Terf Queen thought that was funny. It's the worst of both worlds because it gets your dragon-loving hopes up that there'll be lots of unique dragons but no, they're just different colors, ho hum. Even the Chinese Dragon sticks to the same basic bitch wyvern body plan as the rest, when, you know, Chinese dragons have SUCH a different body plan than any of their European counterparts. It's downright insulting to the variety and creativity of this iconic folkloric archetype to reduce it to such a samey-set of monsters. Absolutely the most disappointing dragon entry in any bestiary I've ever read, just infuriating.

BUT, BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was never meant to be a "great" book. Remember goals one and two: it was a cheap cashgrab, a gimmick, a gag book. It was meant to be a disposable bit of fun - "Tee hee, here's a goofy textbook from this goofy wizard story that you kids will likely grow out of in a few years, you can read it in twenty minutes and not feel bad when you pitch it because there's very little substance to it, and it only costs three bucks."

The Terf Queen doesn't write textbooks, gag or otherwise, she writes novels, narratives, and in its original form Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was clearly just her fucking around with something whimsical and stupid for shits and giggles (and money, sweet sweet money). The original version of it was published with notes in the margin written by Henry Pansley and Donnie Stoat themselves, the two wizard hooligans writing little jokes and messages to each other with further references to other characters from the series, both to add more humor and because, again, the Terf Queen writes novels, and it was clear she couldn't commit to the "fake textbook" bit without working in some characters riffing it for her own sanity. And that makes it work as a gag book - you get a few laughs from the wizard hooligans playing MST3K with their shitty textbook, learn a little about the (undercooked and poorly thought out) ecosystem of the wizardy world, and then when you reach the back cover the spine of your cheap as shit pulp paperback book falls apart and, unless you've got a weird obsession with bestiaries, you throw the dying book in the garbage without a second thought. Three bucks spent well enough.

BUT, TO GET BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK AGAIN: Warner Brothers bought the rights to this cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and goddamn it, they were/are determined to squeeze Herby Porber's sore teats until every last drop of money milk spills from his chapped and bleeding nipples. They announced they were going to make a Fantastic Beasts movie towards the end of making the Herby Porber novels into films, and everyone with a brain sat there and thought, "Well, that's going to be a stupid cashgrab. Bet the Terf Queen's laughing her ass off at how dumb it'll be, too."

But the Terf Queen was not laughing, at least not for long, for once the Henry Pansley movies wrapped up, she was left with the horrifying knowledge that people didn't care for her non-wizard books all that much, certainly not enough to keep her rolling in sweet, sweet money. She needed that mega millionaire cash, and she needed it in abundance and she needed it quick. So when Warner Brothers asked her to write a movie based on her cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, she said, "Yeah, I can make a novel out of that! I - I'm a talented writer! People love my writing! They definitely love my writing and they'd love to pay money for things I wrote that don't directly feature Henry Pansley!"

So now she had to pretend that Fantastic Beasts, the cheapo cashgrab gag textbook about made up animals in a made up world, has a narrative. Not just any narrative, but a grand, sprawling narrative, one to rival, nay, SURPASS Herbie Porbie and the Seven Books of Wizard-Themed Coming of Age Nonsense. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, she assured us, was to be a magnificant tale, and one she planned all along, and CERTAINLY not a marriage of convenience to a completely stupid idea for a film that she was desperately sculpting into a narrative it had no ability to support for the sake of trying to recapture her already passed glory days as a writer.

And I think, in retrospect, this is a great illustration of the Terf Queen's great character flaw. She just can't fucking admit to a mistake, even when it's obvious to everyone that one was made. She will hop on board a sinking ship and keep doubling down on trying to get it to sail even as the water is up to her neck. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a serious narrative now, not a gag textbook written to wring a few more dollars from school children goddammit!

Recent editions of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them took out the Herbie and Donnie commentary, by the by. They also added many of the new half-baked monsters that were introduced in the movies, in a shoddy attempt to pretend this was the plan all along, and that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was always meant to be the seed of something great.

But it wasn't, and no matter how hard the Terf Queen pretends otherwise, it's obvious it wasn't. It's a cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and that's all it really had to be, until greed and ego demanded otherwise.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Personality through quote

Thanks to @elsie-writes here and here and @leahnardo-da-veggie here!

Rules: have your OCs respond to a given prompt then give the people you tagged a prompt

Got long, below the cut :)

[A quote about feelings]

Lexi: "I have a lot of feelings...they all are pretty intense. Every emotion is like that for me. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic, exhilarated. When I'm sad, it's like I'm depressed. I get just a little stressed and my anxiety flares up, and I start crying. It's a lot, honestly."

Maddie: "Feelings are fine and cool, I guess. I like my feelings toward Lexi and Kelsey. Don't really like my feelings toward someone like Brycen. Not sure how I feel for others, though. They like me, which is cool. I dunno. Feelings are super weird."

Ash: "I think I'm starting to understand feelings of others better now that I've discovered my telepathy. It's interesting, seeing how I experience other's emotions. It gets a little metaphorical. Fascinating stuff."

Gwen: "I mean, Lexi was once upset and I was sent to comfort her because I was apparently the most empathetic there. I'd say I'm in touch with my emotions. I get a little too emotional at times. I hold back a lot more than people think, though."

Robbie: "Dude, feelings are kinda dope. Like our brain just feels sad and our chest physically hurts. Doctors can't explain it. [Pause] Okay, both of my parents are doctors and they kinda can, but it's cool regardless."

Akash: "Huh. Well, it's important to feel feelings, and it took me a while to face them. I'm good now, though. I think it's important to face them."

Jedi: [silent for too long] "Well, *rubs back of neck* "I like to...think of myself as someone in touch with his own emotions...."...*nods*

Carmen: "No."

[A quote about their thoughts on NFTs and/or cryptocurrency]

None of these guys would like it but this is a fun prompt!

Lexi: "Isn't crypto a scam? I don't like the idea of that. Just stick to regular money."

Maddie: "NFTs don't make any sense. Just right-click the image. Downloaded."

Ash: "Honestly, I feel like owning an image sounds fun in a silly way, but I'm not that reckless with my money. Would rather spend it on tangible things."

Gwen: "I'm uncomfortable with the idea of people charging you to own an image, fake money or not. I mean, why not make actual art?"

Robbie: "Oh my God did you see the NFT ape movie? Dude, it's so bad. I can't believe there are people this stupid."

Akash: "Not only is it unethical, it literally makes no sense. The money isn't real? Why would you do that? Like, have you looked at the value of crypto?"

Jedi: [intently listening to someone explain crypto and NFTs] "Well, now that is just ridiculous. How in the world do they expect to regulate that?" [A few more minutes of baffled rambling]

Carmen: [also had to have someone explain it to her, but she interrupted more] "Are you kidding me?! Is stupidity a common genetic trait among Ceters?!" [More ranting]

[A quote about remembering the ones they lost]

Well uh I'm not gonna go into any major spoilers so I'm gonna expand the meaning to more than just death.

Um, gradually gets sadder because my first few have not experienced their main trauma yet >:)

Lexi: "Oh, I had so many friends in elementary school! I mean, I still have a lot of friends, but I miss those who went off to different intermediate schools. It's okay, though! I found them on social media, and a couple had phones by fifth grade. I should totally hook up with them again! Thanks for asking!!"

Maddie: "I guess Brycen. He was my friend before he became a jerk. I would like to be friends with him again. Like, then him before he was a jerk."

Ash: "I miss the friendship I had with Shelby. I don't know why, it was literally only for a week or two. But there was...something about her friendship that sucked me in. I still have Lexi, so I think I'll be okay. Then there's my ex-stepdad, Frank. He was sometimes fun. Toward the end he became rude. Before that, though. I miss when I felt like he was a dad, I guess."

Gwen: "My grandfather died when I was very young. He was amazing, though, and I am just glad I remember him. He read stories to me and played with me. And then there's my cat, who we lost a few months ago. She was really sick. I still miss her."

Robbie: "God, I miss Lalika, Akash's mom. She was basically a second mom to me. I talked so fast around her as a kid. She was just starting to learn English when we met, so I don't know if she got everything, but she would always smile and laugh when I did, paying attention to my emotions so she could respond appropriately. But I also loved to read aloud my favorite books to her, so I helped in that regard I guess. She went to all my plays. She made sure to get something for my birthday, and Sam's, separate from Akash's gift. She was amazing."

Akash: "My mom. Every day, I miss her. It's...hard to move past it, I guess. She would listen to you. I still remember her songs that she'd sing, and I still listen to them. She loved taking pictures and filming everything, which I am so grateful for now. She fought for me, when the school district dug their heels in about something. Made sure I had everything I needed to succeed. She was the best."

Jedi: "My mother fought for me my entire life. She pushed to get me an accelerated academic program, fought to drag me and my sister to a better place where I could thrive. Fought my father when he...let us say, went too far. She was fiercely protective. I owe her my life. I just wish I could have repaid her."

Carmen: *scoffs* "I knew Atsila my whole life. Why wouldn't I miss her?" [Yeah sorry that's all you're getting out of her]

Tagging @dyrewrites @ceph-the-ghost-writer @elsie-writes @mk-writes-stuff @aalinaaaaaa @sam-glade @thebejeweledwatercat @winterandwords @mysticstarlightduck @somethingclevermahogony + anyone else ;)

Prompt: A quote about a weird habit they/someone else has.

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 8

having just rewatched S1 with my sister (and even while genuinely, actually looking at the screen instead of putting the show on in the background while multitasking), it is so wild to see tomjake in this season as opposed to S1. like, Jake is more or less correct here: although Ellie's meddling and Tom's own dumb moments are also to blame, it was mostly his fault that the relationship fizzled out. how far they've come, to where Tom is the rash fool and Jake is the (mostly) rootable victim...

i KNEW homegirl would be idol hunting this episode.

absolutely baller comeback from Tess. i doubt they increased the prize money from $1mil to $3mil just for this exchange, but what a power move if they did.

if anyone (in the audience) truly believes that Tom has a real boyfriend at this point...

this was a weird ass way to phrase it but okay Emily pop off i guess.

ooh, time for Yul's psychological issues? 👀

wait, isn't Emily hired by the show, not Yul? how would Yul be able to fire someone under Kristal's employment? is this just Yul firing her from the unofficial job of watching over his image, or is it a soft confirmation that Emily has been hired directly by Yul('s manager) all along?

i'm so desperate for Fiore and Alec to like each other again that i'll be happy with literally any vaguely positive note they end on, as long as it's not hating each other. i still hope that All Stars will be able to acknowledge and expand upon their relationship a little more in upcoming episodes, but if this is the end, at least we know that Alec was trying to have her back one last time.

forgive me if i'm wrong, but, would going to space really trigger someone's fear of heights? like, the "heights" are on such a high scale and there are so many other things to be worried about that i feel like your brain wouldn't really process it as "gee i'm going really high up." still, it's always interesting to see how Kristal has more of an established relationship with her (S2) campers. it makes sense, but it does seem like she's not afraid to show her bias in that way.

damn, Trevor must get paid a LOT! even if the vehicle didn't actually take them to space, it's still a huge building with many rooms that can actually fly. makes me wonder how much the producers/hosts are getting paid. (i understand this was just a joke line but it is technically canon now)

this line was only mildly funny to me, but Ally's face is great. she really hasn't had to spend any notable time around Gabby before. get ready for it, girl, because you'll probably be on the same merge tribe sooner or later.

oh dang, he's directly asking Kristal out.

this was an interesting response, especially with Kristal's later agreement to go upon hearing that they had a pool table. Kristal could have either been letting him down gently, or have genuinely not realized that this is flirting. i think it's the latter. that leaves the door open for Kristal potentially reciprocating Derek's feelings later down the line... also, where the hell is Oliver?!

Tess proves that she can be the goth gf AND the gamer gf. step aside, Ally.

they've done SUCH a good job of making Yul continuously pay for his actions this season as opposed to S2; it makes me like him way more. the fact that Alec is the one handing out the punishments just makes it all the sweeter.

ALEC DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE!! (is that an outdated meme/saying at this point?)

while Jake is still mostly at fault for this conflict, i do like how they're making sure that Ally isn't just an innocent victim, too. she's stooping down to Jake's level of childishness instead of being the bigger person and handling things maturely. it makes both of them and their conflict feel more well-rounded, even if it makes them more annoying as well, lol.

Trevor was right; this particular iteration of the space challenge, at least, is bad. the fact that the Cyan team (Aiden by extension) got literally no advantages or head starts from arriving to this room first means that the first half of the challenge didn't matter at all. even if there's the Survivor saying that "it all comes down to the puzzle," the physical challenges beforehand can at least give one team a head start at looking over the pieces. as it turns out, fucking around on the ship was just a waste of time. it diminished my enjoyment of the episode a little :( (sorry for being a downer)

glad we're revisiting Aiden and Riya's relationship a little more, probably in preparation for them reuniting at the merge. given that Jake and Riya both don't like Aiden, i wonder if they could gather their allies (Ashley, Alec, Yul, Grett) to fuel an Aiden elimination soon.

Emily has to be gay right (/j)

this staging is really great at quickly visualizing the dynamics on each team, and may be foreshadowing for future events. the Yellow Team has completely shut Riya out, with Yul not even being visible, but Alec is still smiling at her from inside. not leaving the door open for Riya will actually waste Yellow's time, but they're so eager to win the challenge that they've actually made things harder for themselves. Magenta leaves the door open for Jake, with Ashley's face expectant and unobstructed, while Ally has retreated inside. despite their disagreements, the Cyan team all waits for Aiden outside, not even opening their door until he gets back. the storyboard artists for DC are a talented group!

Jake, too, is making his case for the villains' alliance.

i liked this sort of rationale from Tess; it feels in character with how they're portraying her this season. i also hadn't considered it as a reason why they would be steadily ramping up Ellie's villainy even as a pre-merge boot. but like... she's totally right.

THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!!! thank god the writers didn't decide to destroy gabbellie this season. instead, it seems to be a basis to set up something even greater...

I'M SO GLAD THAT THIS IS THE DIRECTION THEY'RE TAKING GABBY'S CHARACTER!!! i thought it would be a really good idea, but i didn't know if the writers would wind up taking that path. but it looks like we may be getting our true "explosive girl" back now that Ellie is gone, and i couldn't be more excited. i just know it's going to lead to something buckwild.

... wait what do you mean Ellie isn't doing the patreon reads? is she going to be the real returning player?!

for a somewhat disappointing challenge (for the reasons i described earlier), i'm really happy with this elimination and the direction they're taking the season. some sort of merge or tribe swap has to be happening soon, right? that next episode trailer can't come soon enough!

[bipp-bopp-time-to-stop]

Little Update

Hello to everyone reading this, I thought I'd post a little update on how things are going. At the current moment, I am struggling to produce fics at a steady rate as multiple things are happening on my end (from work to writer's block to me also just being very easily distracted). This does not mean I'll no longer be posting fics for a while, rather, they'll just be coming out slower than how I planned them to (which was once a week). This also does not mean I won't be posting content in general. Rather, I thought I'd be sharing some headcannons as well as potential AUs. Some of these AUs are niche as they approach specific crossovers or expand on ideas not exactly explored by other authors (that I'm aware of, that is). I'll make sure to posts these headcannons and potential mini fics under their own tags so it'll be easy to find and read them or block them in case it's not your cup of tea. Now, I never like to have a post without a little idea of what's to come, so I'll give a brief run down of a few things knocking around in my brain.

AUs:

Dragon Rider! AU- Because How To Train Your Dragon nostalgia has been hitting me hard this past week, and because I've had LU on the brain, the two naturally started to combine. There are many versions of this I could go for such as the Chain being dragon riders or (Name) being a dragon rider or even actually mixing the stories/ worlds of HTTYD and LU together. The ideas I have for this AU will require its own post and/ or posts.

Fragments! AU- I cannot think of a proper name for this AU, but it's one I've had for nearly as long as I've been reading LU x reader stuff. There's multiple Links due to the Hero's Spirit and the curse, but what about multiple (Name)s? After all, the player/(Name) have likely played other games outside of the Zelda franchise, but I'm focusing in on the self insert games. The ones where you create your own character or "yourself". Think of the Sims or, for a darker flavor, Skyrim and Bloodborne. These are just examples of games where you create a character(s). In a way, these other "you"s would carry a fragment of your essence since you created them. I don't know how else to describe this so I may also create a post for a more in depth explanation. I could also potentially just drop the idea all together as I don't have much for it even though it's been in my head the longest.

Headcannons:

What/ Who the Guide is and if they are the same person as the Player- The title is pretty self-explanatory. I've only seen tid-bits done on Guide/ Player lore and I'm a lore fanatic so I've been wanting to do my own expansion on this. Personally, I do believe the Guide and the Player do have ties to each other but are (technically) not the same person. The leading theory I have on the Guide is that they were a lesser god in comparison to Hylia and Demise and, to save themselves from being killed by Demise, entered a contract with Hylia that made them watch over Hylia's chosen heroes. It'll also explain how the Guide and Player are connected and why the Guide "leaves" the boys after their adventures are done. I do plan on there being a lot of angst in this, so be warned.

Feel free to send in questions about these as I'm always open to interaction! Plus, interacting with you guys or hearing your opinions/ thoughts on these ideas could help get the brain juices flowing as well as further flesh out these ideas!

[shingekinomyfeelings]

Okay, so. This has been occupying a lot of my thoughts recently, and while it feels like it should be "cringey" or whatever to confess this on a semi-public platform, I think I should just suck it up and admit that I've been feeling really lonely and socially disconnected.

I really just do not thrive without conversations and sharing silly events as they unfold, and bouncing ideas back and forth, and having a few people to chat with throughout the day - and, more embarrassingly, feeling like there are people, even just a few, who actively want to hear from me and have me around. Yuck, right? I don't know why it feels so gross to say it outright. I've always been the first to remind people that humans are hardwired to be a social species and that social feedback is naturally what informs our behaviors and our perceptions of ourselves. I'm awful at taking my own advice, though, so I figure I'll try actually doing so.

Now, at the time, I'm a bit cut off from seriously pursuing making friends in person, for an assortment of personal reasons I won't be getting into. I'm actively working on it, but in the meantime, my social life is distressingly limited to the internet.

But you know what? I used to be great at making friends online. It doesn't seem like I still am, though.

I won't lie, testing the waters by asking if my mutuals/followers find me unapproachable and the most popular answer being that people on here really have no idea who I am and have no particular opinion about me one way or another made me a lot sadder than I thought it would. Like, damn, am I overlooked as a result of an uninteresting personality, or an off-putting aura, or simply because I've come into the habit of keeping things about my offline life vague on here?

Talking about personal, real-life matters on here feels wildly inappropriate for some reason, and I'm not sure there's a workaround for that, because it seems like just part of tumblr culture.

I'm naturally super chatty in a comfortable setting, though, especially in a small group - but I'm not as good at approaching people as I used to be, and then, to paraphrase a quote from my own fanfic like a gigantic nerd, I end up feeling like I'm not approached by other people because I'm either entirely too much to contend with, or just not enough to be someone who seems worth engaging with.

Also, let's be real, I can't help feeling that being older than most of tumblr's user base inherently sets me out on the fringes.

I had meant to keep this a bit shorter, so let me get to the point:

I really do want more friends to interact with and share things with! Actually, you know what? 'Want' isn't strong enough. I really need more social connection.

I don't know how many of you reading this are also feeling lonely and wanting/needing to expand your human interactions, or even how many people will actually read this, but I'd like to put it out there that if you want to get to know me or form a powerful secret society with me and a band of others, I'd probably be thrilled to hear from you. You're more than welcome to reach out, even if your nerves only let you do it anonymously.

I know I've admitted that I'm not the best at maintaining one on one conversation with someone I've only just begun talking to, and that still holds true, but... eh, building genuine connections does take time, and I certainly have plenty of time.

So, this is a general invitation to those who might need or want one. Let's Friendship is Magic this shit up.

[sanctaignorantia]

Just adding a few things about this post here.

I think about it in two ways now. Because when we first thought of puppets, only the idea of being manipulated came to mind. But what if that's not all?

Higgs touches Fatih Akin's puppet directly and asks what it would be? Another soulless little husk? Another... Higgs has met a lot of them out there, Higgs knows what these things are.

Higgs is perhaps another one of those soulless little husks, in the same way that Lou's pod is a soulless little husk.

And then it makes me think that maybe that's why he knows more about Lou's condition than the rest of us, he knows because maybe they have something in common.

But back to the point about the puppets!

So it wouldn't just be the idea of being manipulated, it would be the idea of being a body, a husk without a soul, without desires, without love or thoughts and which is trapped by these cords that are supposed to signify some kind of connection, but which are actually used to manipulate these little husks like puppets in a theater show, telling or not telling true stories, entertaining or terrifying the audience.

We can research the origin and history of puppets and puppetry throughout history just to be sure (puppet|puppetry).

I could also add dolls, which can basically be what puppets are, but without strings to manipulate them, without anything to give them "life". But just to make it clear how much the idea of puppets can expand to these "little" things that can bring symbolic/metaphorical meanings into the narrative.

And then I'll remind you that there are 3 basic ways of using puppets and manipulating them:

-> with strings:

-> with sticks:

-> with your hands:

x

You can't say that this has nothing to do with Death Stranding. The string, the stick and the hand. Even here I'm thinking "my madness makes sense because it makes sense with the universe, but how far is Kojima going to take this?" - 2025 is a long way off. T_T

I could say that the idea is about manipulation, but it's not just manipulation.

It's about empty husks yearning for something and being manipulated by someone in order to tell a rehearsed lie to fool those watching.

And all because the red lines remind me of theater curtains too. We need to sit down and stop being crazy about this game!!! (self-criticism).

Another thing I noticed. Fatih Akin's character has a stop-motion effect, as Kojima told us, which is basically dolls moved by hand if you look at any creation of this kind, people basically use their hands to position them throughout the process, but it's not just this that I want to point out, it's the effect that these behind-the-camera videos give us: the sensation of time distortion. And with this sensation of distorted time we get the idea that the puppet is moving too slowly while the person manipulating it is moving too quickly, temporal distortion or the feeling that each one belongs to a different space-time.

So I take this and combine it with Death Stranding, where we have the idea of a multiverse and spiritual and carnal dimensions, what I get is the feeling that what controls Fatih Akin's puppet is not only somewhere else, but that this place could be another dimension, and another dimension with different temporal issues from the one the puppet is in. So would that dimension be the Beach? Maybe yes, maybe no. We don't know these soulless husks, we don't know where they came from and what moves them, so we couldn't assume they're BTs controlling receptacles (although I'll stick to that theory to the end).

If the theory is that Higgs is trapped on the Beach and this new body on earth is being controlled by his Beach Self, then wouldn't it make sense to say that the same happens to Fatih Akin's character because only he is moving in a distorted way and Higgs isn't?

And now to finish, I wouldn't be surprised if at some point in DS2 our dear Higgs appears singing Master of Puppets.

Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams Blinded by me, you can't see a thing Just call my name 'cause I'll hear you scream

[yujeong]

i spotted some talk of ace vegas 👀 please continue if you want.

there's a lot of demi pete acknowledgement, but i can totally get why vegas would be a service top as an ace person

Hey there, anon! Thank you so much for sending me this! I'd love to expand on my thoughts actually, since I'm pretty sure I haven't stumbled across any posts that delve into this headcanon about Vegas. However, before saying more, I'd like to give 2 important disclaimers: 1. I'm not ace, or at least I don't think I am (sexuality has been a fraught topic to me for the past couple of years, I try not to think about it), so everything I'm about to say should be taken with a grain of salt - as well as be corrected if I say sth stupid or inaccurate, 2. The "ace Vegas" headcanon isn't an original thought of mine. A former fandom friend had mentioned it once in a server I used to be a part of, and it intrigued me. Now, on to the topic at hand. Apologies in advance, because this ended up being super long: Vegas' sexuality and how he expresses it has been a very interesting topic to me due to how much emphasis is put on it throughout the show. From the way he flirts with Porsche (horribly) to the way his room is decorated or the way he dresses and acts, the man oozes sexual appeal, so much so that he rivals Kinn, aka the horniest man on planet Earth. But the more we get exposed to it, the more it makes me wonder: is Vegas really a "sex freak" or is he using it as a weapon to win against Kinn? Because if Vegas copies other things Kinn does in order to win against him - the suits, the boyfriends, the mafia tactics - why wouldn't he copy his (presumed) sex life? Why wouldn't he try spicing up his image as this scary sadist with the cuffs and the whips and the XL vegan condoms, in order to rival his cousin? Adding the ace aspect here, it could also be a way for him to cope with the fact that he hasn't experienced sexual attraction towards anyone in comparison to Kinn (because it is of vital importance to me that everything Vegas thinks about himself is because of Kinn). He can see how Kinn stares at the men he fucks, he can see the hunger; it's sth he lacks. He feels inferior to Kinn due to this, he feels like a freak - as he told Pete, I'll expand upon that line later - so, he overcompensates for it.... ...which brings me to the mirror scene. Yes, that mirror scene. I'd say it's one of two scenes that could discourage someone from having the "ace Vegas" headcanon, due to how Vegas is alone and fantasizes about Porsche while (I assume) touching himself, BUT I have two counter-arguments to that: 1. Vegas is so deep into this facade he's put on that he's trying to persuade himself to feel powerful for managing to incapacitate Porsche, even though he eventually failed to do what he had wanted to, 2. Vegas isn't fantasizing about Porsche himself, but rather the thing he did to him, the act. He managed for a little while to have the upper hand on him, and that power makes him feel good (aka horny). Is it a stretch? Maybe. Since a lot of fans love Vegas being a hardcore sadist who practices BDSM (something I'm in the minority of), perhaps ace Vegas doesn't sound believable - even though a LOT of ace people practice BDSM, as is known. Now, let's examine VegasPete in this context:

Vegas hadn't shown any interest to Pete pre-spying shenanigans, and even then, he mostly taunts the poor man. Condoms and ass grabs and merits, that's the most he does to Pete up until ep10, when he has him tied up in his basement and tortures him. I do love how most of the torturing he does to Pete is sexual or has sexual implications (RIP Pete's balls). It emphasizes how Vegas uses sex as a weapon to achieve his goals, whatever those may be - which, in Pete's case, are just him trying to redirect his intense anger from his failure onto someone else. Vegas knows how powerful sex is - it's why he used it to drive Pete's attention away from his issues after they buried the hedgehog and Pete told him he shouldn't hit himself. And being ace, he's more detached to it (by not being attracted to the person he's using his tactics against), so he's better at it. He excels at it, it gives him a perverted sense of self-confidence. Now, their NC scene is one of my favorites exactly because of what anon mentioned: Vegas reads so much as a service top in it. He is 100% focused on Pete and how good he's making him feel. His own orgasm can very well be considered an afterthought and it's perfect. With all of this, I can't help but see the possibility of him being ace. The last 2 things I want to mention are from the next scene, because they're also arguments that could be used against this headcanon: 1) "Do you know how sexy you are?" and 2) "I thought I was a freak, until now" Ok, so, a question: if we take into consideration the idea of Vegas being ace - a Vegas who compares himself to Kinn, a Vegas who uses sex as a tool, a Vegas who thinks of himself as an unlovable monster, a Vegas who hates himself to the point of being suicidal - then what's the most probable outcome of him having the first actual good sexual experience in his life? Answer: he'll get hella confused lol What I mean by this, is that Vegas didn't suddenly become allosexual from this experience with Pete. Vegas simply... fell in love. (or, more accurately, the feeling that had been building up inside him since the pill kiss cemented itself in his heart after they had sex) And what do some people do when they have a similar experience? They confuse romantic love with sexual attraction, thinking they experienced one thing when they did the other. That's what I believe happened with Vegas. He thought he's not a freak because he figured he's sexually attracted to Pete, when in reality the poor fucker loves Pete romantically. If we can accept the fact that Vegas knows shit all about proper BDSM practices (Pete isn't even looking that up lmao), then he sure af doesn't know about the differences between sexual and romantic attraction. Hence, what he told Pete. I think that's all I wanted to say, which is a lot already haha, but in order to properly expand upon this issue, I needed to write an essay of a post. I'm sorry if it was tiring and thank you again anon for your ask ❤️❤️

[diamondwerewolf]

*peers in* Not a Pikmin ask but do you have any headcanons to give us about Gerudo culture mayhaps? Gender identities and societal connotations with them? Cause boy do I have some.

I am by no means a CEO of gender. I am very Cis, so I'll preface this with that

To talk about this briefly: I don't see why Gerudo wouldn't have a wide variety of people. Nintendo simplifies things, they're all just girls and women, but I'm sure that realistically there are Gerudo you wouldn't really refer to in the feminine. Femininity is something that's very honored, but not the only thing there is. Honestly they speak of hylian men more than themselves, which is annoying, but that's because they're written by men. There's a tangible strangeness?? to them because of that. I wish there was more to focus on, like them being warriors or SOMETHING else. Blue mentioned a good game that expands on them, I forget which they said. I have a lot to contribute that I wouldn't be able to answer in one blanket statement. It would have to be broken down in more specific questions.

That all aside. Here are some bits n bobs: I actually have a HC were there are more than one kind of Gerudo: - Central (Where Ganondorf is from but not necessarily his lineage) - Deep Desert -Canyon - Hebra

They're all recognizable as gerudo, but have different distinct body features, styles of dress, and goods they trade. For example, Herba gerudo live in the frozen desert, so they're huskier or fatter. They bargain with Ice, hearty meats, and furs.

Another HC is that warriors are much more distinct from gerudo civilians. They are noticeably larger, tank like individuals, strong enough to wear heavy iron armor. They wear black as another distinction, and often have short or shaven hair. A gerudo warrior with long, snatchable hair, is usually an indication of their skill. Ganondorf's hair is short in his youth, and long in seniority. A warrior who also exposes and shows off their skin or abs is also a notable show of skill or even a taunt. Civilians are usually more covered because SAND and SUN, and not as muscular. No one can afford to dehydrate themselves in that environment.

I have lots more thoughts, but again they can be best gotten with more specific questions.

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟵

CW: Mentions of rape

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback | 4:4 answer

Gilbert: "Now, again... If you have something to say, I'll listen to you, Little Bunny?"

Before my eyes is His Majesty the Emperor, who rules the great nation of Obsidian—

A commander-in-chief who possesses the power to overwhelm other countries with just one voice.

(… However, it's just a title with a big name; the one inside is Lord Gilbert.)

Looking up at the throne, there is no need to be too afraid.

Emma: "Then, if I may be so bold as to presume..."

Emma: "Why does Your Majesty the Emperor push for the invasion of other countries?"

It was the first thing I wanted to ask the "Emperor," not Lord Gilbert.

Obsidian has always plotted to expand its territory as a matter of policy.

I don't understand the intention of wanting to continue the invasion to the point of trampling on other countries' cultures, ideologies, and lives.

Gilbert: "The ostensible reason is to protect our own people. Obsidian has a lot of barren land compared to how vast the land is."

Gilbert: "We always had the problem of food shortages, and exploitation was necessary to keep the people alive."

Emma: "… What's the purpose behind this?"

Gilbert: "I hate dirty things."

Gilbert: "I hate deception, corruption, bribery, all of it. But the way the continent is structured now, they occur frequently."

Gilbert: "It's not just Obsidian. Wasn't there a trace of corruption in Rhodolite too?"

Emma: "Do you mean the orphanage?"

Gilbert: "Yes, there was some of that, but what about the larger corruption—the debauchery of His Majesty the King?"

(Debauchery... meaning being drowned in women, I guess that fits.)

Gilbert: "He used his power to heal the wounds of a broken heart, and he laid his hands on many women."

Gilbert: "… Do you know the story of Luke's mother?"

Emma: "No…"

Gilbert: "His mother was a mere maid in the service of the court."

Gilbert: "But the king forced himself on her because she looked like the woman he loved."

(…!)

Gilbert: "She left the court heartbroken and secretly gave birth to Luke."

Gilbert: "Do you think the king was punished for this? Yes, of course, he was not punished."

Gilbert: "Because he is the supreme authority in Rhodolite…"

Gilbert: "And because he had the right to do as he pleased with those below him."

(If what you just said is true... I can't defend him even though he is the king of my country.)

(No matter how wise a king he was, it is unforgivable.)

Gilbert: "Do you think that's unusual?"

Emma: "… At least, it's not something that happens very often."

Gilbert: "That's what it is."

Emma: "On what basis…"

Gilbert: "It's the result of statistics on the internal affairs of the countries I've ruled."

(… It's not an emotional story; rather, it's a grounded story.)

Gilbert: "It is not uncommon for a royal family to become prodigal, and in worse cases, there are countries that enslave their people."

Gilbert: "This continent was built on authoritarianism. It is a world dominated by royalty and nobility."

Gilbert: "It is ingrained in your bones that a lowly person like you should not defy those in power."

Gilbert: "You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Remember when you were chosen as Belle?"

Gilbert: "The report is that... you did not hesitate to slap a man who had been disrespectful to Chevalier."

Gilbert: "That was because you quickly decided that if anyone disrespects those in power, they will be killed."

Gilbert: "He actually pointed a sword at you, making sure his judgment was correct…"

Gilbert: "It's a funny thing when you think about it. How can one be guilty of disrespect?"

(I never thought about it before.)

For me, the royal family has always been recognized as "a person to be respected," and even if he was disrespectful and had a sword pointed at me, I tried to understand it because "he is a member of the royal family."

Gilbert: "There is no superiority or inferiority between you and me. As long as we are humans, we should all be the same."

Gilbert: "Of course, it may be necessary to have someone to lead socially."

Gilbert: "An outstanding person brings people together and builds a better tomorrow. That's how a person should be."

Gilbert: "But, you know, on the continent today, it's all about who has the power and who can get others to behave as they please."

Gilbert: "Of course, not all of them, okay? The Princes of Rhodolite are quite excellent in that regard."

Gilbert: "Even Silvio and Keith will be good monarchs."

Emma: "Then—"

Gilbert: "His Majesty the King of Rhodolite used to be a reputable monarch."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "People are creatures of change. There is no such thing as "absolutes."

Gilbert: "That's why authoritarianism shouldn't exist in the first place."

Gilbert: "There were only a handful of wise kings if you look at history."

(In other words, Lord Gilbert...)

Gilbert: "Because the king of a country that knows so much about deception and corruption…"

Gilbert: "My "ideal" is to trample down all the royal families that spread throughout the continent and free the people from the rule of power."

What I felt from Lord Gilbert was a strong will that resembled a solid castle wall.

No one can change him or stop him. I assume it is that kind of thing.

(A revolution involving not only his own country but the entire continent...)

(I know it would end up as a dream story for normal people, but not for Lord Gilbert.)

(But it's strange.)

Emma: "… It's contradictory."

Emma: "Isn't Lord Gilbert the epitome of that power?"

The figure sitting on the throne and looking down at me is exactly the "authority" that Lord Gilbert hates.

(Even though you once threatened me with that power...)

Emma: "Are you an exception?"

Gilbert: "Ahaha! No way."

Gilbert: "If the people in power disappear and a new era comes, I will be the first to become unnecessary."

Gilbert: "I might as well die then, right?"

Emma: "… Uh."

(What are you... saying...)

His usual refreshing smile shines brightly on his throne.

I couldn't believe my ears and wondered if I heard him wrong.

Gilbert: "Because it's natural. I want to wipe out those in power, but it's not right for me to survive."

Gilbert: "Especially the Obsidian royal family, the most evil bloodline on the continent."

Gilbert: "It's better for the world if it's destroyed... Ah, but if I'm going to die anyway, I want Little Bunny to kill me."

Gilbert: "If you do that, you'll remember me forever, won't you?"   //   "That way you will remember me for the rest of your life, right?"

Emma: "That's... of course I'm not going to do that!"

I screamed without a moment's delay.

Even if it is a joke, it is a bad one.

(Lord Gilbert's ideal is based on the assumption that he will die in the end.)

(And he doesn't think anything of it.)

It would have been better if he had said, "I'm an exception," like a villain.

Emma: "… Why do you go to such lengths to exile those in power?"

Emma: "Lord Gilbert should have benefited from the power...even to the point of killing himself..."

Gilbert: "That's..."

Gilbert: "… A secret."

(… That part is a secret.)

Gilbert: "But I don't think it's a bad deal for you."

Gilbert: "Rather, it would be more convenient for you if I died."

(…!)

Gilbert: "If I'm gone, maybe Rhodolite won't be trampled and the world will continue like this."

Gilbert: "Besides, when I die, you will be properly released."

Gilbert: "You can settle in Obsidian or go back to Rhodolite, whatever you want."

Gilbert: "Because the "power" that holds you back is gone."

(What is that...)

The front of my eyes were pure white, and the back of my head felt hot.

Emma: "… Are you serious?"

My voice spilled out unintentionally, and it was lower than usual.

Gilbert: "Of course—"

Gilbert: "… What's wrong?"

(What's wrong... with me?)

I look down, and my fists are shaking.

(Even if you're a big villain, I've never wanted you dead. I didn't even think about it.)

(Lord Gilbert... was not the kind of person who could think such a thing.)

It may be possible to think that it is a great villain who cannot be saved, I am already poisoned by malicious kindness.

And that kindness itself shouldn't have been a lie.

I suffered at Rhodolite because I was repeatedly exposed to Lord Gilbert's good intentions.

What he just said was an outright denial of that suffering and struggle.

(After acting like he was such a good friend of mine...)

(When the time comes, should I kill him? Is it better if he is dead? **

(… Don't be silly.)

I have no right to say anything about Lord Gilbert's ideals.

But for those few words, I should have the right to be angry.

Gilbert: "I don't get it. I don't see anything to be angry about right now..."

Emma: "Because you don't know that, it means that Lord Gilbert is not really my friend!"

Emma: "If you thought that I was the kind of person who would be happy to see you dead, that is beyond disappointing!"

The voice echoes to destroy the intimidation of the throne room.

Lord Gilbert, who could be seen in the distance, seemed taken aback.

(… I wish I were so evil that I wanted to kill him anyway.)

(Oh, this is bad...)

I feel like my vision is blurry.

As I wrinkled my brow and held on, I suddenly felt a breeze behind me.

???: "Lord Gilbert!!!"

(Whoa, what the!?)

A man in military uniform pushes open the door to the throne room and walks in,

Without paying attention to me, he pushes his way to the bottom of the stairs as if he were about to attack Lord Gilbert.

???: "You... you left the castle without saying anything again!"

???: "How much more do you want to shorten my lifespan?! Come on, now, let's test—"

???: ". . . . . ."

(... Oh, our eyes met.)

The man with curly hair stiffens, and so do I.

A strange silence fell.

Gilbert: "Good for you, huh? If you had slipped up just a little bit more, you... today would be the anniversary of your death."

???: "Who is she?"

Gilbert: "The Lady of Rhodolite."

???: "Rhodolite's… Ah! What? She really exists? Lord Gilbert's first—"

Gilbert: "Huh? You must really want to die."

(…?)

The man deliberately clears his throat and turns to me.

The salute-like gesture may be Obsidian's way of saying "hello."

Walter: "You are Emma, right? I've heard rumors about you... I'm Walter. My occupation is—"

Gilbert: "My aide. Servant. A maid. I'm having an audience, will you leave?"

(… I feel like he's deliberately covering his words again just now.)

(How did you know my name in the first place… What's the rumor?)

(I wonder if Obsidian has heard about the story of Rhodolite...)

As soon as the man finished his greeting, he pointed his finger at Lord Gilbert.

It felt like an obvious act of disrespect, but there was no one there to reproach it.

Walter: "I will definitely visit you later. Listen, please don't run away. Even if you do, I will let Roderich catch you."

Gilbert: "Alright, alright. I'll act like an adult when I feel like it."

Walter: "Not when you feel like it... but absolutely!"

Gilbert: "Okay, okay."

After a strong tone of voice and a reminder, the man leaves.

It was like a storm.

Gilbert: "… I've lost interest."

With a resounding sigh, Lord Gilbert stands up from his throne.

The audience is apparently over.

(Me too... I'm not sure I can speak well right now.)

Lord Gilbert descends the stairs with the sound of his cane.

He came right next to me, and I didn't make eye contact with him.

Gilbert: "Yes. The fact that I am His Majesty the Emperor has only been revealed to a limited number of people."

Gilbert: "You know what I mean… right?"

(He'd like to say he'd kill me if I ever told anyone about it.)

I nodded while looking away, and Lord Gilbert took another breath.

Gilbert: "What can I do to put you in a better mood..."

(... I really don't know.)

(A genius like Prince Chevalier, who can easily manipulate people's minds...)

Gilbert: "A whole day's sleep will do it, right? By the way, I've got your room all ready for you."

Gilbert: "I asked them to make the interior as similar to Rhodolite as possible, but I hope you like it."

(I can't believe he even had a room ready for me.)

This is Obsidian. There is no need to isolate me by daring to be friendly, like in Rhodolite.

Still, Lord Gilbert's poison-like kindness hasn't changed.

I am tormented again by being treated not as a hostage but as a guest of honor.

Emma: "… That's the point…"

Gilbert: "Hm?"

Emma: "Nothing..."

(I hate… this feeling.)

══════════════════

—After taking Emma to her room, he returned to his own room for the first time in a long time and found himself in an unusual silence.

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "How much longer?"

Gilbert laughs as he buttons his shirt.

But Walter, sitting in the chair across from him, said nothing.

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "I'm asking you, so tell me."

Walter: "… You really..."

The chair falls over in the moment of a vigorous standing up.

Walter: "I beg you, please stop. This country goes on without you. That's how you were raised. So..."

Gilbert: "You didn't answer my question."

Walter covers his face with his hands under the pressure of his compelling smile.

His fingertips trembled, and his breath spilled from the gaps.

Walter: "… I don't want to say it."

Gilbert: "I see... it was the right decision to return home a little earlier."

Walter: "Hey… That story you've been telling me for a long time—seriously think about it. Now, I really believe you." **

Gilbert: "It's not a matter of believing or not believing, it's not necessary in the first place."

Walter: "Then why did you bring that woman here!"

Gilbert: "… That's terrible."

Gilbert: "Because I’m a big villain who couldn't be saved."

Walter: "You..."

A blood-colored, cold gaze pierces Walter, as if to interrupt his fury.

A pressure resembling murderous intent dominated the place in an instant.

Gilbert: "Never speak of it. She is no exception."

Walter: "That woman... she doesn't know yet?"

Gilbert: "She doesn't know, and she never will. And I have no intention of telling her."

Gilbert: "I'm going to rest now. Good night."

Walter: ". . . . . ."

Walter: "I'm not giving up."

Grabbing a sturdy-looking bag from the desk, Walter leaves the room.

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "… Why…"

Gilbert: "Why wasn't Little Bunny... happy about it?"   //   "I wonder why the little rabbit... wasn't pleased."

══════════════════

Obsidian is synonymous with evil, so much so that it was called the land of deceit and corruption.

When it comes to life in the castle, which is its home base, I imagined it to be brutal.

I was prepared for the fact that I would not be treated well, including being in a vulnerable position…

Gilbert: "Look, Little Bunny. So, how do you like it?"

Emma: "This... is a kitchen."

Gilbert: "Yes, a kitchen. Your very own kitchen."

Emma: "!?"

(Next to the guest room, there is a kitchen! W-What do you mean...)

Far from being treated badly, it is rather too good to pull off.

I had been dragging out yesterday's events until a few minutes ago, but it was such a shock that it blew away, even if only temporarily.

Gilbert: "This is the same as the room, I had them prepared in advance."

Gilbert: "Do you know why I... prepared the kitchen?"

(I see... that means...)

Emma: "You want me to make sweets."

Gilbert: "As expected of Little Bunny. I'm glad you know me so well."

Gilbert: "—… Actually, I just wanted to please you."   //   "—… I really just wanted to make you happy."

Emma: "… What is it now?"

Gilbert: "No, it was nothing."

(I can't believe you liked it enough to prepare a kitchen…)

(I've only served amateur sweets... and they were as simple as cookies.)

Lord Gilbert's smile was so bright that he seemed like a different person from the emperor who sat on the throne yesterday.

Gilbert: "You are free to use any of the ingredients here."

(Let's see... eggs, milk, flour, sugar, fruits, vegetables... that's quite a lot of variety.)

Emma: "I have heard that Obsidian is suffering from food shortages..."

Gilbert: "It's not like that these days, you know?"

Gilbert: "Because we have built supply lines and established stable food production technology in the last 10 years."

(That's right... just like Prince Chevalier said.)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Chevalier: "—Second, I want to know the degree of development of Obsidian's technology."

Chevalier: "Obsidian's military engineering technology seems to be quite advanced..."

Chevalier: "Those technologies must have been applied to many things related to daily life."

Chevalier: "Aside from the rural areas, the central areas may be even different."

Chevalier: "Go and see for yourself."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "—Obsidian has a lot of barren areas despite its vast land. But just because it's barren doesn't mean it has land."

Lord Gilbert spun his words without any hesitation. His eyes were somewhat lively.

Gilbert: "If we can build facilities that can grow crops regardless of the soil, it will take a lot of work, but there is no reason why we can't provide food in our own country."

Gilbert: "If we can produce food, we can also produce the fodder necessary for livestock. That's why we don't have food shortages right now."

Gilbert: "By the way, most of the food here comes from the research facility in the castle."

Gilbert: "We can't put those on the market... but we collect things that are a waste to throw away."

Gilbert: "Then it's also sweets that help eliminate the loss of ingredients."

Gilbert: "That's what I mean."

(Though the way you spoke just now was like your own achievement…)

Emma: "… Did Lord Gilbert solve the problem of food shortages?"

Gilbert: "Of course, it's my job. The food supply is an important issue, necessary to guarantee a minimum standard of living."

Gilbert: "Did you think we were always at war?"

Emma: "… I'm sorry."

(As expected, the idea was shallow.)

I had the impression that Obsidian was focusing on military affairs and neglecting domestic affairs, but it seems I was just being shallow.

Gilbert: "Hehe... your image is not wrong either. The Emperor has always had that policy."

Perhaps the "emperor" here was the late former emperor.

Gilbert: "He won a lot of countries, but he didn't look inward at all."

Gilbert: "They were almost lawless, so Albert and I spent a lot of time trying to improve it."

Gilbert: "Well, the regions are still so corrupt that I think I'm only halfway there."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "More than—"

(Whoa…!)

Suddenly I am hugged on the shoulder, and my body leans back.

I fell into his cold chest with all my might, but he held me.

Gilbert: "What? Can't you just read the atmosphere and leave us alone?"

(… What the…)

(!?)

When Lord Gilbert calls out to the doorway, a crowd of soldiers appears.

1, 2, 3 — Surrounded by about 10 male and female military personnel, my body stiffened.

(I didn't notice it at all. I guess they were waiting for Lord Gilbert outside.)

Soldier 1: "I am sorry. Lord Gilbert, the military has asked me to consult with you concerning the budget..."

Soldier 2: "I, too, would like to ask Lord Gilbert's advice on lifeline capital investment—"

Gilbert: "You know, I've been telling you for a long time. You don't have to rely on my judgment every time."

(... Eh, even though he's the Emperor?)

Gilbert: "You are professionals in each field whose abilities have been bought."

Gilbert: "I'm giving you full authority because I think you can do it. Or what? Do you doubt my eyes?"

Soldier 1: "No, sir! But I would like to have your opinion, Lord Gilbert, because it would be very helpful..."

Soldier 2: "Please. After all, there is no one better than Lord Gilbert's keen eye!"

Gilbert: "Nope. Everyone, you can see that I'm busy, right?"

Instead of letting me go, he holds me tighter.

The gazes of the soldiers were clearly perplexed and bewildered.

Emma: "Uh… No! No, he isn't! Please give priority to your official duties." **

Gilbert: "Ehh..."

Emma: "In the meantime, I'll make you some sweets, how about that?"

Gilbert: "… I think I'm the one who's sulking."

Emma: "Lord Gilbert…"

Gilbert: "All right, all right. Just for today."

With a deliberate shrug, Lord Gilbert finally moves away from me.

Gilbert: "All of you, make it quick. Each of you has two minutes."

Lord Gilbert walks into the circle of soldiers, and the atmosphere changes.

I could see that the people gathered were tense and straightened their backs.

But that is not a bad thing.

Rather than dominating through fear, they seem to be voluntarily respecting Lord Gilbert out of reverence.

(… It became clear to me when I came to Obsidian).

(Lord Gilbert is an emperor who can act for the people.)

Looking back on our discussion of ideals the other day, it was also about being close to the weak.

While he acts like a big villain in other countries, he appears to be a perfectly good emperor in his own country.

(But there are some things that bother me.)

What the soldiers are talking about is the kind of thing that the nobles and bureaucrats bring to Rhodolite.

However, there are no signs of nobility at all in this castle.

(Even though Obsidian is a country of military and ore, it's unnatural that there are only soldiers—)

══════════════════

Gilbert: "Ah, is that so?"

In the end, soldiers gathered one after another under Lord Gilbert, and even though each person had two minutes, it was nighttime by the time they had all been processed.

Lord Gilbert, who was in a very bad mood because of this, took me back to his room with the baked cookies,

He started a tea party on the bed in a bad manner.

(Actually, I was surprised that Lord Gilbert's room was like a library…)

(I have a lot of questions, like what kind of books are on the bookshelves…)

What I asked before them was about the wonder of the absence of the nobles.

Gilbert: "It's the same as His Majesty the former emperor."

Emma: "The same...?"

Gilbert: "Yeah. I killed them."

I felt dizzy.

Emma: "… Not only the emperor, but also the nobles?"

Gilbert: "Of course, I didn't kill them all, okay? I just wanted to clean up the deceit and corruption, and there are still a lot of nobles out there."

Gilbert: "The people who work in the castle are all highly qualified, chosen from a wide range of people, from commoners to nobles."

Gilbert: "The reason they are all dressed almost entirely in military uniform is to break down the barriers between the nobles and the commoners."

Gilbert: "The castle you are in is still not perfect, but it's better than it was a decade ago."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(I knew it, but life may be the same as dust for Lord Gilbert.)

(So he lost the value of his own life as well... the more he killed people, the more he lost the importance of his life.) **

No matter what the reason may be, the act of killing is inherently unforgivable.

Perhaps Lord Gilbert knows this, which is why he doesn't cling to his own life.

(… Even though I'm calm.)

My chest feels murky again.

I can't taste the cookie in my mouth.

When I cast my eyes down, cold fingers grabbed my chin as if to say no—

Gilbert: "Hey, I want you to tell me one thing too..."

[cookinguptales]

Out of curiosity, do you have any theories for why the bizarre narrative shift wwdits had circa late s4 happened?

I've gotten some uh. Pretty intense anons for saying what I'm about to say, for some reason, but sure, yeah. I'll talk about it. This will be pretty long because I haven't written wwdits meta in a long time, but. Oh well.

For s4 specifically... There's something that Anoop Desai, the actor who plays the Djinn, said in an interview once that I thought was really interesting. He said that they initially only wanted him to be in a few episodes of s4 and told him they'd go from there. As we all know, he ended up doing a great job with the part, the Djinn ended up becoming wildly popular, and the role was expanded.

But when you think about it... a lot of things in the back half of s4 only happened because the Djinn was around, right? The wish for Marwa to like whatever Nandor liked (and its subsequent issues), the wish for Marwa to become a Freddie clone... Those can only happen the way they did because the Djinn's wishes were available as a plot device. It's entirely possible that they were going to happen anyway, just another way, but... I don't think it's really going too far to say that there had to be rewrites of late season s4 in order to incorporate the Djinn, and we just have no way of knowing how extensive those rewrites turned out to be.

I think certain aspects of the end of s4 still had to have been there (a boyfriend for Guillermo, the wedding going poorly) but the exact way that things played out? Well, it did kind of smack of last-minute rewrites to me. We know there was also a lot of confusion about episode order, too, with the wedding seeming to have been originally placed closer to the end of the season... (Based on slates seen on IG.)

So... it really does make you wonder if things might have gone very differently if not for the Djinn's presence. I always kind of felt like I got monkey pawed because I love the Djinn, I really wanted him to be around longer, but then... oof.

s4 was kind of bewildering because it had some truly wonderful episodes, but there was a sense that they were building up to something that just never happened. A lot of themes, like Guillermo learning he can't lie to his loved ones and still keep a strong relationship with them, were really emphasized only to be dropped when they should have been very important with Freddie and all of s5.

Even what I'd argue was the most successful part of s4, the relationship between Laszlo and Colin, was really kind of unceremoniously dumped in s5.

I feel like s4 was where we really started to see a lack of payoff in long-running arcs. s2 was really the last time a season finale cliffhanger had much of any impact on the long-term events of the show (and s3 was when there was a showrunner change, so that could partially be why) and I think that fans were hoping that we'd still see those long-term arcs for characters, especially when s3 on seemed to focus more on characterization and relationship-building.

But what's actually ended up happening is that we constantly get these build-ups that either fizzle out, go nowhere, or worse, get retconned altogether. There's been a real lack of canon consistency the last few seasons, and what felt like small momentary lapses in consistency (like Nandor suddenly being better at hypnotism than Laszlo when the opposite was true in s2) suddenly felt much more dire when fundamental character changes seemed to happen with characters like Guillermo.

I've noticed a real divide between s1-s2 Guillermo and s3, s4, and s5 Guillermo, with him starting to get... almost Flanderized, honestly, with his whole uwu I could never hurt anyone thing. It seems to get worse every season, and this last season making it canon that he feels no guilt towards killing vampires but could ~never~ kill a human (despite being totally blase about it in early seasons) really seems to turn the whole conceit that he loves supernatural creatures (and can't meaningfully connect with humans due to his social otheredness) on its head. Personally, I'd consider that a core aspect of not only Guillermo's characterization but the overarching themes of the show, so it really kind of shocked me.

(In other words, I'm not actually disappointed that he didn't become a vampire. I always kind of thought that was how things were going to happen. But to make it be because he's too gentle?? Because he values human life over vampire lives??? Oof! That lack of character consistency is rough!)

I guess... the reason why I thought the end of s4 was rough was the rewrites. It really did feel rushed, and often themes/characters/relationships seemed to be chucked out in favor of jokes that weren't even all that funny. But I think the overall quality dip (imo) of the last season and a half are due to larger problems. There's a lack of commitment to things established in early seasons that I find troubling, and a total inability to commit to the arcs they're writing now, too.

It's odd. I feel like the first two seasons were more episodic and were less concerned with big arcs, but they still pulled off slowly growing character changes well -- Guillermo finding out he's a slayer especially. Since the showrunner change, they've been much more ambitious about characters, relationships, and long-running arcs -- but they never seem to stick the damn landing! They're aiming higher (building expectations) and landing lower. Which is a bad combination.

So then you have s5, which kind of feels like a culmination of all this. Characterization choices that don't always make sense, season-long arcs that don't go fucking anywhere and ignore previous canon (Laszlo was particularly egregious here), important characterization moments being thrown out in favor of jokes that no one fucking liked. (God, those fucking hybrid creatures.) And in the end, they again refuse to commit and instead send things back to a status quo, now made even shittier because they've closed off a narrative path.

I would hope that this season finale would mean something and we'd see the characters dealing with everything it brings up for the next season, but that didn't fucking happen the last two times, so... I have low hopes. I'd love to be proven wrong, but. I do feel very tired.

Finally... In retrospect, I actually think the death knell came very early on in s4. It was the time jump. Instead of really dealing with the way that any of these characters would have to function with the set-up they created in s3, they skipped all that. I'm not sure Guillermo ever really made that much sense after that, especially, and I think it's because they simply didn't think about what that year would mean to him very much. In interviews, we've seen that Harvey had to make up a lot of backstory himself, we've seen that Harvey and Al independently came up with two very different backstories for how Guillermo and Freddie met and how long they knew each other, we know that the writers often didn't really seem to know what Guillermo was doing in London...

Like. I hate to say it, but that's lazy writing. A time skip doesn't have to be lazy writing, but it often is. It's often used to skip the hard work of getting from characters from A to B, and the only way to do one well is to still know what happened during it. But once they did that, we started to increasingly get these [scene (and characterization) missing here] periods that really brought down the momentum every single time.

So... I guess I think that's been the overarching problem. Rewrites, a lack of loyalty to early canon and worse, a lack of loyalty to the stories they're writing now. If they're not invested in the story arcs they're making, why should we get invested? The way that the whole Laszlo and Colin thing was barely ever mentioned again in s5 was egregious. It was treated as lasting trauma in s4 and then Laszlo seemed totally fine in s5, even going so far as to have sex with the man he'd seen as his son like... two weeks before. For a while, we kept thinking that his weird behavior towards Guillermo was a form of transference, but that never really amounted to anything, either. I think we were just putting too much faith in the writers, maybe.

I guess, in the end, that's probably the biggest problem of all. The writers did some really amazing stuff in the first three seasons. They had a lot of long cons, so to speak, and it was hugely fun to see those pay off. We came to trust the writers, and now we keep thinking that these confusing plot arcs are just one more long con.

But they're not.

So we just get annoyed and let down every single time because we keep expecting payoffs that never come anymore, and in the end we just get kinda bitter.

That's just my two cents, anyway. And it really is still possible to turn things around! But uh. There's not much more time to do it. lmao

Fingers crossed, I guess. (But not around the vampires.)

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Sooooo... I've had a thought for a while. How awesome would it have been if they had let Colin Morgan keep actual his Irish accent to remind ppl that he wasn't originally from Camelot? Like, maybe it becomes subtler as the seasons go on but it's always there and when he gets tired or angry the lilt would come out FULL FORCE and ppl that didn't know or forget would be like, yo wtf???

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

Ok so I rarely answer asks as soon as I see them but

Anon

I DEDICATE AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR OF EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY THINKING ABOUT MERLIN WITH AN ACCENT!!!!

Like.... I'm turning this into a headcanon set because I need to think about this right now (if someone else wants to expand it that's fine, or if it's popular enough, I'll add it to the next List update).

ANYWAY!!!

Say he's not actually from Essetir, but Ireland (from research I think it was called Hibernia during the medieval ages, or maybe Alba? I'm not sure, so I'll just stick with Ireland), and Balinor ran a little further afield before meeting Hunith, and then returning once things had settled down to live in that skanky cave, so he can keep an eye on how Camelot was doing. Hunith and Merlin travel to Essetir when Merlin is maybe twelve or so?? So the accent and customs (and even the language) is like... heavily embedded. (To cover plot holes... uh... Gaius is also Irish, but travelled over with... relatives(?) when he was so young that he doesn't have an accent, or even really any memories of home. He has however visited and been visited by his sister enough to have a good relationship with her, and they exchanged letters regularly before and after she moved to Essetir. There. Don't think about it too much.)

HOWEVER!! When he moves to Camelot, he covers it up, because Camelot already hates Bastards (check), Sorcerers (double check) and also Gaels (check again). So to make his life easier, he gives himself a generic Essetirian/Camelot accent, and no one really notices, Maybe he has a bit of a lilt here and there, but people chalk it up to him spending lots of time with a diverse set of people, and/or maybe just being a country bumpkin. The lilt definitely comes out more when he's angry, the angrier he is the stronger it is, but, what the majority of Merlin's friends don’t know, is that they've never really seen him truly angry. Annoyed, frustrated maybe, a little pissed off, but not properly angry. Not for the first few years at least, so again, no one really notices.

Sometimes he rants to himself under his breath in Gaels, more so when he's with Gaius because it's not like the guy doesn't already know, even if he can't actually understand (Gaius does mourn the loss of his heritage sometimes, especially because, when delirious, Merlin's accent comes back full force, and Gaius can't understand a word he's saying).

Anyway. I do have this scenario in my head of some poor page running into the Throne room all "Oh CHRIST, My Lord, there's a woman in the courtyard who claims to have killed Morgause and rescued Morgana!! BUT!!! She says she'll only speak to Myrddin??" And the whole room is in uproar and Merlin just rolls his eyes at them and goes "What does she look like?", at the description he just goes "Oh shit" except in Gaels and runs out. All the gang follow to see him embracing this woman and speaking fast Gaels to her. She's introduced as his sister or an old childhood neighbour/friend or something. She couldn't give less of a shit about Camelot's anti magic laws if she TRIED, and fully admits to defeating the two witches with magic, because she herself is also a witch, and basically dares Arthur to do something abut it whilst Merlin despairs. Once the shock passes, someone, probably Gwaine, just goes "Hey, Merls, what's with the accent?? And the name??" and the woman just raises her eyebrow and goes "Aye, Merls, what's with the accent and the name?" And he has to admit that he's Irish and his real name is Myrddin (I know it's actually Welsh but let’s pretend just for now) and talks in his normal accent and everyone just... blue screens.

At least three times a day for the next few weeks, if not months, he has to explain the "new" accent to friends whom he hasn't spoken to since before the incident. Overall it's very funny, and everyone in Camelot suddenly finds Merlin ten times hotter. Arthur is struggling to cope. Leon openly drools. Gwaine is so wowed he can't even flirt right. Gwen trips over every time he speaks.

His accent is naturally really toned down, from years of hiding it and just being around people who don't have that accent, but it still gets strong when he shouts, and is nigh impossible to understand when he's concussed/drugged/suffering from blood loss/exhausted to the point of delirium. He also starts using words like "aye" to mean yes, and "slán" (the original of Sláinte, meaning good health, or cheers), when he says goodbye, and it's very endearing but also very confusing.

Our man is just so much happier being able to be himself and share his culture with no backlash, because Uther's been gone a while, and Arthur made peace with the Gaels ages ago (Merlin was basically just in too deep to back out then and kept clutching straws until the sister/friend arrived and blew it all wide open). Now he just has to do the same with the magic thing.... But then again!! Sister/friend not giving a fuck has maybe done that already. So. Maybe he's already set?

Anyway. Merlin with an Irish accent. Yes Please Please Please :D