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#i also just know theyre gonna shit on me for being tired its one of their faves
toastsnaffler · 23 days
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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hecksupremechips · 6 days
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I forget that I have every mental illness until I’m having another week long spiral over a offhand comment made by a friend months ago that if you take and interpret in the most bad faith way imaginable it means uh oh this person isn’t who you thought they were ahahaha you idiot you obsessive freak you’ve been so attached to this person and it turns out they’re a monster actually and you’re so lonely and desperate that you forced yourself to be okay with them this is proof you’re incapable of feeling anything for anyone and that you’re right to believe everyone is evil and stupid. Die
#ughhhhhhh and the worst part with this specific kind is like how would i even get reassurance if i needed it#like its like ‘hey dearest friend i bet you dont remember but you made a joke 4 months ago that ive obsessed over and basically ive decided#that youre irredeemably evil so please explain to me why you arent’#and in general i have a bad habit of acting like a parent towards others and like i know everything and have to teach them how to behave#cuz yippee unhealthy family dynamics mess everything up#so I have to restrain myself from doing that with friends cuz not only is it exhausting its also like#is really condescending and assumes they cant take care of themselves and make their own choices or have their own opinions#but then i try so hard to avoid being that guy that if i let minor things slide i panic over it#like really stupid shit like someone could sarcastically say they idk push old ladies down the stairs for fun#but they dont make it super obvious with their voice that theyre being sarcastic#and then i panic cuz what if they genuinely think its okay to push old ladies down the stairs and i said nothing?#i thought they were a nice person but theyre gonna betray me just like everyone does and im stupid for trusting them#ughhhh i hate this i hate it so much i dont know why i do this so bad i try every technique to calm down#i gotta be okay with no one being perfect and not every moment of confusion getting closure#but god im so tired of turning on people like this its like i feel so fake i love you so much its obsessive#but then you say one thing that i dont particularly like and uh oh i hate your guts actually!#and yeah what triggered this specific spiral is actually so stupid lol but it reminded me why i keep everything secret all the time
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29121996 · 2 months
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.
#im gonna say smth and no one is allowed to say a fucking Word. i need to . type this out bc i cant Say It Out Loud#but . it is slighrly disgusting and patheyic (imo) and just . huh .#anyway . the tightening in evety inch of my body at the idea that . i might not get what i want (*) . but that even if i dont get that#ill get Something somewhat better n its just .#hard to swallow. bc im so tired for settling for what i dont want .#like letting go of shit ivrlly want for smth thats supposedly better for me#letting did not look like a real word just then what the fuck man#anyway . it is awful bc like . having so many realisations n realising that . ive forgiven a lot less and a lot worse .#n its a whole thing i cant get into bc im figuring out what exactly . thst sys abt me and where it stems from#it feels Okay . like its coming grom a Good Place. n not one of low seld worth#but like . having to possibly actually settle for less than what i actually want . is awful bc i dont like doing that and im tjred of doing#that. even if its good / better for me?#i cannot think of any other situstion simular rn other than yhe job fuckery. but . never wity a person#have i felt like this. n i dont know where or why its a Thibg. butcit is. ajd i dont know why hes fucking different.#but so much is out of my control !!!! and idk what to do anymore except just . keep pretendinf he doesnt exist#and moving like i did in high school: just zignoring how i feel bc i see the fucker constantly#it genuinely does parallel to hs rn how do i keep .#but also how is this a conpletely new situstion ive Never Exprrienced. how is this haopening to me.#i keep thinkibg abt the letter j wroye to my 21st (on my 18th) n i havent opened it#bc i missed opening it actually on my 21st. so i decided to live out actually being 21 before i#opebed the letter just to see how much had actually changed.#gonna open it aroubd my birthday. im terrified. bc i reread that letter 5x vefore wrappibg it uo. and ive thought abt it Constantly#to rmber its contents bc im Obsessed with it somehowm butbi still dont know .#i plan tocwritr another for my 25th. n 27th thrn again my 30th.#theyre fun lil time capsules . n its nice . i used to do 6montg to yearly ones but . shit got so bad i did Not wanna keep writing abt it .#so . this Will be fun . it was the 1st attemot at that too like . its why i started the 6mth letters bc i wanted to see the gradual sgifts#n reread them on my 21st but life had other plans apparently.#anyway.
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bungusofficial · 4 months
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mutual how are you so good at getting into arguments with people who agree with you
probably bc i only respond to people who cant write or read
"rape play can be consented to" and "rape can be consented to" are VERY different sentences. n like honestly i shouldnt even have bothered.
if you have such a fundamental misunderstanding of the english language i wont waste my time trying to communicate with you. when every word means something different its not really english anymore is it. if everything u say is so divorced from the english language that i need to ask you to repeat and translate everything i dont think im at fault here
i might just cut contact w anyone in the community because everything i say is misunderstood and misrepresented and not taken seriously if im not sucking up to people.
and so many words have new double-meanings and im led to think i disagree with ppl because theyre fucking incapable of writing a coherent sentence. and then its my fault somehow.
and its not like 'transid' or paraphilia dont exist outside of the radqueer community. everyone wants to change things about themselves. everyone changes. people are into weird shit and have mental disorders. i dont have a problem with peoples experiences.
n if rqs put any effort into what they say (or even didnt blame me for assuming that a word doesnt have any new secret meaning) id treat it the same as the mogai or liom community. whatever. kinda fun. sometimes theres a relatable label
.delete later
#i do have a deep insecurity about being stupid and always confused and people not understanding anything i say#ableist shit#but i also dont see anything wrong with how i talk from my perspective#i dont know why whatever is wrong with me is wrong with me#other autists dont like or understand me#but like. even if theres something fundamentally wrong with me im not gonna bend over backwards and make myself palatable you anyone.#i dont give a shit really. no one has to like or understand me ig#also. 'where do you guys find animal rape porn?'. im not hanging out near a community where thats as common as it is and people you reblog#from like that shit.#im aware that 'not all of us' and 'theres bad apples everywhere' but thw queer community doesnt have a Huge chunk that believes in#legalizing rape.#and i dont think id hang out in any other community that does.#also#not as bad obviously but so many people being pathetic. identities for when youre trans but have internallized so much transphobia tha#t youre calling yourself cis now#you have intrusive thoughts so now you say youre transharmful.#its a whole lot of letting outside factors control your identity which is just miserable to look at for me#and not a vibe i wanna be around#sometimes theres straight up bigotry 'afab 4 afab because duhh afab means pussy. and transsexuals dont exist' or treating birth assignment#as a gender#you see that in the regular queer community too i just feel like complaining#im just tired of this. every day i log on to tumblr and see a rq post and go 'wow/damn these people are extremely annoying and detached#from the english language'.#fucking. even transgender in a transid context has a different meaning#ppl say transgender isnt a transid and like. theyre right and theyre also wrong.#transgender(transid version) isnt the fucking same as transgender(queer community)#and this isnt me being genuine but lets have some fun with radqueer etymology and twist transgender even further. trans- in a transid#context means (change) with intent.#i did not choose my gender with intent..therefore actually i am a cisgender male.#so if i do end up fucking blocking you then you know why
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roaringheat · 1 year
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Trying not to jump the gun and expect today to be shit but it's my sister's bday and i'll have to spend the whole day around her and our dad who both treat me like shit
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aezuria · 6 months
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hiii i love ur writing sm!! i was wondering if u would do leo valdez x reader headcanons? ty!!!
*ੈ✎ keep your head still, i'll be your thrill
—all the small things, blink-182
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content: leo valdez x reader
warnings: cursing again
librarian's annotations: the title has no connection to the hcs but it came up while i was writing this also IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER 🙏🙏🙏
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super clingy i do not make the rules
oh you thought you were gonna get up and be productive?? not today!
fuck everyone else tbh
LOVEEES gossip sessions with u
hes so invested in all the drama u have
probably laying on his stomach and swinging his feet and gasping incredulously. "what!? no she did not..."
got very pouty that you did not invite him to the girls night bc he didnt want to "miss out on the tea" (lwk stealing from my own work oops)
who can blame him tbh
LOVE LOVES DANCING
loves teaching u too (even if u suck)
like imagine him holding your waist and moving you to the beat as you fumble along, his chest pressed up against your own
GOOD LORD
"forward, back, left- there you go," he murmured into your ear, looking down at your feet. you stepped on his shoes a lot more than you should've; did he ever think that his proximity was why you were messing up!?
"you suck at this, don't you?" he laughed, but twirled you around anyway.
"did you ever think you're just a shit teacher?"
"rude!"
also this man was born a star
can probably hit super high notes as if its nothing
ok so we all know how hes a genius right
oh my GOD imagine him explaining how his stuff works and using words you're sure don't even exist and he's so into it and he just sounds so SMART
intelligence is so attractive why does no one talk abt that
you wanted to watch him work on the engine, so you pulled up a stool next to him. you stared at his side, his tank top dirty with grease and sticky with sweat. how long had he been working since you got here?
you'd get mad at him for not taking a break later. right now? you were admiring the view. who wouldn't?
"hey leo?"
he hummed in response, still hyper-focused on the engine.
"how does all that work, exactly?" you were never one for machines—good thing you have a mechanic boyfriend!
he looks to you, a happy glimmer in his eyes. "you really wanna know? so basically— this part connects to that part and then..."
you don't know how long you've been zoned out, too busy staring at his perfect
"y/n?" he finally realizes you haven't been paying attention. "you with me, now?" he raises an eyebrow with a grin on his face.
"huh? what?" you straightened up, fumbling over your words. "yeah! why wouldn't i be?" you tried to act as if you weren't just ogling him seconds before.
"oh y'know.. cause you were checking me out." he winked, leaning back against the engine as he put himself on display. "i mean, you obviously couldn't help it. i mean, look at me!"
someone humble him
its not like he doesn't do the same tho
if he accidentally walks in on you he'd be like "oh my gods-! sorry!" and cover his eyes with his hands, but his fingers are parted so he could still look through. literally the 🫣 emoji
"GET OUT!"
"OKAY I'M GOING DON'T HIT ME- OW!"
he is SUPER ticklish and you WILL use this to your advantage
esp his ears
one time you touched them out of curiosity cause theyre pointer than average and he was like "eek!"
pause
"aww i didn't know you could make that sound!" you poked some more fun at him because that was adorable
"shut up!"
another time he's laying on you, ruining your plans of getting up early and being active. you tried rolling out from underneath him but his arms snake around you like a vice, squeezing a groan out of you.
"leo get off!" you tried shoving him off, but that didn't work either. he simply buried his face into your neck, mumbling a tired no.
you really had shit to do, so you resorted to the last possible tactic. "i didn't wanna have to do this..." you warned. (you so wanted to do this)
you slipped your hands under his shirt and started tickling his stomach, effectively getting him writhing off you with laughter.
"stop-! that tickles!" he tried doing the same back, but he was squirming far too much.
ok real talk now
love loves staying up late with you until its past midnight and you guys are just rambling about random topics. he's just so relaxed with you, his heart feels so full and there's no space anymore, so his bottled up emotions spill out
which is usually a closely-guarded secret because he's just the funny guy of the group, right?
what does he know about feelings? isn't it his job to just keep everyone else happy? joking about everything will take away the pain, won't it?
(it doesn't)
"i don't know, i just- feel like i don't really fit in with everyone. they all have these cool powers, and i'm just.. me." he laughed dryly, face devoid of his usual happiness as he stared at the ceiling. "sometimes, i feel like you could do so much better. but at the same time?" his voice lowered as he rolled onto his side, staring into your eyes. "i want to keep you to myself. i really, really don't want to lose you."
you were glad he finally opened up to you, but your heart ached at the way he thought of himself. how could he not see how highly everyone thought of him, especially you?
"just you? leo, you're the coolest person i know. you're so, so smart, you can fix just about anything, you're funny, you're kind, you can cook; what's not to love?" you smiled softly. you could go on and on about this man. for him to think that he was the lucky one? it was quite the opposite.
"and you don't have to worry," you whispered, cuddling closer to him and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "i'll always be with you."
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candy-cloud-system · 2 months
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I have Never seen an endo shit on traumagenic systems - i have seen them shit on people discrediting their experiences but its wild that ur acting like a victim when ur the one being weird. Psychology largely agrees that we do not know enough abt the human brain - specific dissociative disorders - to claim they can Only be caused one way. Also forcing people to reflect on if they're traumatized or not just for them to be "allowed" to use system terminology is Wild - even if every single system is caused by trauma, so many traumatized people have no recollection of the trauma. This isnt black and white and youre silly for caring so much abt internet strangers repressed memories or lack thereof 🩷
First off, learn to read . D N I. Means DO NOT INTERACT! I don’t understand what’s so hard about that, literally you have to go through the effort to read a whole message that’s literally saying don’t interact, go to my account, which tells you not to interact, and then type a whole message and never once do you think “oh! I’m breaking DNI! I’m crossing boundaries! Hm! Maybe I shouldn’t do that!”
So I’m gonna be a bitch to you now cus you broke my DNI and I’ve already stated I’d start being a bitch to people who do that
“I’ve never seen endos shit on traumagenic systems 🥺🥺🥺” okay explain the constant death threats we get. Explain the people LIKE YOU! Who break DNI to tell us shit we literally do not want to hear, explain the people who go into our comment and tell us to off ourselves, call us names, make up slurs. Tell us no one loves us and everyone will leave. Do you understand how fucking stupid you sound?
Traumagenic systems get SOOOO much bullshit from endos and that’s why it’s such a problem. They bully trauma survivors and victims, making them spiral and feel like fucking shit because they didn’t want people mocking a disorder that makes their lives harder. The amount of times I’ve seen endos telling traumagenic systems to die simply because they fucking EXISTED is fucking insane.
Even if you could be a system without trauma, you wouldn’t be in the same groups as us, you wouldn’t have the same terms you wouldn’t be classified with the disorder. Because our disorder stems from TRAUMA! You have to have trauma.
You can have trauma you don’t remember, BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU AN ENDO. It makes you a traumagenic system who doesn’t remember their trauma! You guys fucking groom people into believing their trauma isnt enough or that they’re endo because they can’t remember and it fucking disgusts me.
I’m not making people reflect on their fucking trauma, IM TRYING NOT TO GET HARASSED FOR MINE.
FUNFACT. I AM A VICTIM! I GET HARRASED BY ENDOS FUCKING ALMOST DAILY AT THIS POINT! IM ACTIVELY TELLING YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE CONSTANTLY BECAUSE YOU GUYS CANT FUCKING READ THREE LETTERS !
I AM TIRED OF COMING ON THIS APP AFTER WISHING I DIDNT GO THROUGH THE SHIT I GO THROUGH BECAUSE OF THIS DISORDER AND SEEING SOME RANDOM ASS KID SAYING HOW THEYRE GONNA MANIFEST A SYSTEM FOR THEMSELF. IF YOU FUCKING “CREATE” A “SYSTEM” BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE. FUCK YOU. ACTUALLY FUCK YOU. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU. AND I HAVE ALL RIGHTS TO HATE YOU.
“You’re so silly for caring 🥺🥺🥺🥺” I CARE BECAUSE I GET HARRASSED TO THE POINT OF SPLITTING OR HAVING CRASHES DUE TO OUR BPD AND NPD. I GET FUCKING HARASSED UNTIL I CANT TAKE IT. THATS WHY I TELL YOU TO NOT FUCKING INTERACT.
Get off my fucking blog. Never come back. Endos and their supporters are NOT fucking welcome here. Respect my fucking DNI.
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quodekash · 4 months
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FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????
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hes so grumpy already I love this so much
the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant
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pls this is so funny
theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them
BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders
its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀
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THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭
JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU
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theyre lost in their own little world 🥺
kiIIIIIS
this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨
im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised
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LOOK AT THEM, DUDE
THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER
I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH
half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it
PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE
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I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME
if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want
I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull
it just seems perfect, idk why
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GB4JHERGB
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THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME
genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show
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im fucking CRYING
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my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it
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why does it suit him so well tho
they should kiss again I think
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I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level
THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE
NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED
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look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him
like q is having a complete shit time
poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭
and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭
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fuckin FINALLY
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LMAO WHAT
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THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT
THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID
I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious
im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses
SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT
a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke
but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME
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also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious
also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet
ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)
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PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW
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hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet
I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'
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I love tan so much, the little wave
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what the FUCK
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what the FUCK FUCK???
THE SOUNDWIN LINE????
HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS
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HE SAID IT
HE FUCKIN SAID IT
[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]
holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit
my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this
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FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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WHAT THE FUCK
AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE
im gonna be here all day
I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now
I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth
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dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED
WHAT THE FUCK
omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream
the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day
how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job
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he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while
tbh same
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look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory
thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK
welp on that note I think im done for now
I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep
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pumpkinsy0 · 3 months
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can you pls write some hcs about curly and johnny fighting over pony’s attention and being jealous when pony favors one over the other
of course!!
•unlike the others when it comes to johnny hes more reserved on what he actually thinks about curly, if u asks johnny how he feels hes not rlly gonna say his actual feelings, if pony asks how he feels anout curly, he just goes “if he makes u happy thats fine w me” he’d say as hes NOT looking at pony
•but like hes ponys bff brah, if pony likes em, shit maybe theres something the gang aint seein that pony does, but hes not 100% on board w it
•maybe their beef started bc pony would hang out w one of em for a longish time, then drop them for a bit and hang out w the other, and it was a cycle and theyre SO tired and think its the others fault or somethin
•ANYWAYS I KNOWWWW they talk shit about each other in their different language, and pony always hears but they dont say wtf the said in english, for ponys peace of mind he assumes its something good
•when ponys going back to hang out w the other, ponys wearing or at least has SOMETHING from the other one, and they do this as a stupid tactic to get in the others head thats like “pony was hanging out w me, cry about it lol”
•ITS NOT EVEN THAT PONY FAVORS ONE OVER ANOTHER, he just prefers the other over in certain situations bc he thinks theyre better at handling it
•like w socs, pony would rather curly, not that johnny cant fight, but bc curly has better fighting skills and can fight 2 ppl at one believe it or not and he just happens to b around curly when theres trouble around most of the time, then, would rather johnny when hes feeling emotional bc johnnys just better equipped at dealing w emotions and he also just so happens to get more into his emotions when johnnys around, so on and so forth
• the real problem is they just genuinely dont see that all so much and think theyre the problem, like theyre lacking in that department or somethin, but nah, rlly just a matter of circumstance
•when curlys over at a gang hang out, sometimes johnny catches him staring at pony and so he somehow gets pony to stick with him and they both go over to dallas, extra measure so curly thinks twice on heading over to em
•johnny absolutely felt a type of way when he found out pony and curly got matching scars from that fuck ass chicken game, bc not even HIM and pony have matching scars and they r basically inseparable, what kinda bc is that, he knows its stupid but still
• when johnny and pony go to the drive in, curly sometimes pops up, and johnny and curly arent even watching the movie, pony wants snacks and they both r like “I’LLL get it pony dw” and they both get pony snacks just shaking their head bc they think they have snacks pony would like more than the others choices
•curly put his arm around pony and johnny gave that lil side eye that dogs do
•this is like the only time ponys not stopping them, hes getting free snacks, ofc hes letting them continue
•i swear they NEVER actually talk to each other, like sat down and have a convo, they just have a petty competition, at best theyve said like 10 total words to each other at some point
•ponys actually not clueless when it comes to their beef w each other, he knows how awkward and tense it us when all 3 of em r in a room together, he doesnt exactly do much to stop it cause he doesnt get HOW whats going on between them is happening, but he tries not to let it escalate
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit
#.vent#i only slept a couple hours last night man. i cant do short notice evening socials on an empty tank let alone resist unexpected rsd#if they had let me know earlier then i wouldve taken a nap and worked out beforehand to get my energy back up#idk just. if u rly want my company then maybe u should actually invite me next time. its not like they didnt plan it#even if they just forgot its not particularly pleasant to be the one person insignificant enough to forget abt. theres only 5 of us#they rly remembered to ask the one guy who isnt even here before me yknow. ugh u see the stupid thoughts i have to battle!!#like on a rational level ik it was probably genuinely accidental. but the way i instinctively react is not always rational#so regardless someone has to deal with the emotional fallout and thats me. regulating this shit is hard work even when im NOT tired asf#i really really dont want to be an asshole and spoil anyones fun bc its no-ones fault + as real as it feels to me rn ik im overreacting#but i cant voluntarily expose myself to personal triggers when im already exhausted + more vulnerable than usual#so just gotta shut myself in my room and deal with it in my own super healthy ways as per usual. may they never fucking find out#trying my best not to be an asshole i hope to fucking god they dont think im being an asshole i just told them i was tired + i meant it#this wouldnt be so much of a problem if it hadnt happened to me before. and also ik its bc one rsd trigger makes me more sensitive-#to picking up unrelated cues but there ARE other things they do that i find ostracising which rly dont fucking help. but-#theyre not things i can actually confront them abt so usually i just gotta deal w it which is fine but it lowers my general tolerance#its ok. its ok i like them all a lot theyre lovely ppl and it doesnt matter if there is a some grain of truth in the things im thinking#bc the risk of me believing + acting on a bad faith irrational thought leads to outcomes that are far worse than those from#misidentifying someones malicious behaviour towards me as neutral by accident/in good faith. okay im done now i think#just ignore me spewing out the old brain gunk on main again eurgh anyway im gonna go calm myself and read and SLEEP#ill be normal by tomorrow morning farewell comrades#honestly i dont mind dealing w shit this way bc its the best option for everyone but man. sometimes its so fucking lonely#like there are sides of me ppl will never engage with and for good reason but without them being acknowledged i find it rly hard to feel-#any real emotional intimacy or closeness with another person. but what other option is there#i sure as hell dont miss the fights i used to constantly get into when i wasnt able to regulate myself i lost so many friends that way#it is what it is. on we go for now
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bones-of-a-rabbit · 1 year
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u can never have too many au ideas (aka the cursed-sun/moon au)
(im copy n pasting this from discord bc im lazy sorry y'all fsjhf)
other au idea: Sun is a ruler or lord in a fantasy world or smthn and Moon is the form he's been Cursed into turning into each night. Reader is a low-tier magic-weilder (who has a secret past that involves smthn rlly Bad and they used to have a reasonable amount of respectability in th community but now theyre shunned and cant get a job anywhere and also has a big scar and/or only one eye lol) who's one remaining ability is the ability to lift minor curses or plagues. Sun has been searching for someone who can 'bless' the curse of Moon (or whatever is making Moon be nasty murderous bloodthirsty man) for ages but mages r rare and most of them spend maybe one night trying to cure Moon before either getting got or being scared into getting tf outta there
so eventually word reaches Sun of a mage who's been looking for work, with the only catch being that they arent very powerful and no one has much to say abt them, and Sun, who has burnt every single thread he has trying to find a mage, is like GOOD ENOUGH CALL THEM HERE
and reader is like 'oh shit this is potentially a rlly good job, the only catch is that i have to deal w a demon possessed guy thats like twice my height and three times as strong,,' and like. bc they have Zero Options and also feel like their life has run itself into th ground and there is little left for them/no way to get themselves out of their Issues, they r like 'yeah sure its gonna take a while bc i can only perform minor magic but i'll do whatever i can to see that this curse is delt with'
and instead of trying to face Moon head on, they start with just kinda,, getting to know him. he's kept chained/locked away in a chamber every night to keep ppl safe, but every night reader goes into the chambers, sits at a tea table just out of his reach, and just. talks with him
they dont entertain his trying to mess w them, taunting, cruelty, etc, but they talk when there's the chance for standard conversation. at first it's hell bc Moon is a little shit and he never cooperates. he never answers questions, he spends the entire night threatening to tear them apart and savor their insides, etc. they bring him a cup of tea every night, and every time he smashes the cup and throws the pieces at them
ok well point is eventually Moon starts to mellow out around them, will actually sit and have conversation with them, one day is like 'you think i dont know what youre doing?? youre just trying to bore me into falling for ur trap so u can kill me. i like ur style but its not gonna work >:3'
and reader is like 'i literally do not have enough magic to kill a toad let alone a whole entire possessed person' and moon is like ',, huh. so what IS ur goal here??' and reader is like 'i want to lift ur curse for both u and Sun's sakes. i gave u my word, and i will follow through, at the very least to clear my own conscience of a past sin'
and so eventually Moon, out of curiosity, and later bc he likes spending time with reader, starts letting them cast the healing magic on him, breaking the curse little by little every night
and at the same time all this is happening, reader is spending mornings and evenings with Sun and keeping him up to date on how the process is going and, eventually, becoming the person he turns to when he's stressed or tired or rlly just wants company
and idk smthn smthn eventually both of them rlly want Reader and they dont know how to act so they just b making fools of themselves but reader is a dumbass so theyre just confused
(Moon absolutely tells Reader abt every 'oh man i rlly wanna kiss kiss snuggle smooch the mage rn' thought Sun has during the day but Reader is so used to Moon being a little shit n making shit up to mess with them that they r just like ._. )
the plot twist part,,
(the secret dark past that reader is hiding is that they used to be a local mage for a nearby town who was known and respected for giving 'blessings' to ppl for small fees but one day for Reasons, they cast a curse upon someone and one of the biggest no-no's a mage can do is Curse someone so the town practically rioted, tore them down from their pedestal, called upon another mage to strip reader of their magic, and then cast them out)
(rn im considering the idea that the person reader Cursed is Vanny, who, because of her own curse, eventually went on to be the one who cursed Sun and Moon)
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hecksupremechips · 6 months
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Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺
#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream#which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket#but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful#um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money#this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming#aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh#and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it#also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am#and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him#i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope#and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and#go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive#situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe#and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant#bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in#reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone#and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here#thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore
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conanssummerchild · 2 months
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i was watching meeseeks and destroy today and in the beginning of the episode when morty tells rick that he's done with their adventures i couldn't help but remember a similar situation with evil morty and his rick in the flashback at the beginning of unmortricken and i think its very notable to see the difference between the two scenes:
(please forgive the shitty pictures, theyre taken straight from my laptop 😭. blue is morty prime and rick c-137 and orange is evil rick and morty)
both scenes start with the mortys having an objection about the adventures
"Wow, another adventure where I went up an ass."
"I just killed my family! I dont care what they were."
and both ricks act generally dismissive about it, although evil rick does go for more of a kind of mocking approach while c-137 is just plain dismissive, almost distracted kind of like hes not really paying attention to what morty is saying
"Oh, good, are we having this fight again?" Let me guess, you're gonna leave or throw a sulking fit?"
"I don't know, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough."
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dismissive at first (like i've repeated 3 times already, sorry i cant think of another word 😭), but his face changes when he realises morty's being fr
evil morty's response is, justifiably, to insult his rick, but morty primes response is not meant to be insulting, and its kinda more telling rick how he feels (traumatised) and showing rick his frustration with their adventures as they are
"You think you know everything, Rick, but you're basically just a giant 8-year old." (accurate and also not the only time evil morty has expressed this sentiment)
"You know what, Rick? Thats it! I'm done with these insane adventures! That was really traumatising! I quit! I'm out!"
It's also notable that morty prime is the one who says he's done with ricks stuff, while evil rick is the one who challenges morty to leave
"I'm not doing this anymore! Either you're in or you're out, Morty. I'm tired of you weaponising this half-assed threat. You want out, then fucking quit!"
so evil rick's reaction to morty complaining is to challenge him to leave, but, while initially dismissive, as soon as c-137 realises morty's serious, he immediately tries to stop him
"Woah, woah, woah! Come on, Morty, don't be like that. The universe is a crazy, chaotic place."
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look at him, he's so worried about morty leaving
and lastly, evil morty agrees and apologises (ofc we know it isnt sincere, but still, he doesn't even try to get his rick to understand his perspective because he likely never has before), while morty prime doesn't back down and stands his ground
"You know what, you're right. Sorry to be such a high-maintenance Morty. Why don't i get you a drink?"
"You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun."
evil morty then goes on to kill hundreds or thousands of ricks and torture their morties and do a bunch more unspeakable shit, all to escape his rick and the cfc, while rick c-137 and morty prime continue to argue for a little bit longer, but eventually come to a decision together and go on the very first Morty Adventure (which is definitely quite a rocky road, but establishes morty being allowed to pick some of their adventures, which is what he wanted)
also very notable is when evil rick starts shouting and leans into evil morty's space, morty flinches and falls back, shielding himself with his arm (which is something i didnt actually notice initially but that @/fandomwe1rd0 pointed out in this post right here) and he makes a small noise that sounds like one of fear (a video of the scene is in the post i just linked if you want to take a closer look at the interaction). at no point during c-137 and morty prime's little argument does morty flinch/seem afraid of rick physically harming him, granted c-137 didnt really yell at him like evil rick did, but evil morty flinches away when rick leans towards him, not when he starts yelling, and c-137 doesnt just lean towards morty, he actually puts his hands on his shoulders, actually touching him, and morty seems in now way deterred or afraid.
apologies for any spelling mistakes its 2am lol, i hope this made any sense at all! :)
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finanah · 8 months
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akito shinonome fluff alphabet !! akito x reader
ok umm ermm i dont like the heizou smau and unfortunately my genshin rephase has ended so ill probably not touch it at all ermm i dont think anyone cares so its ok >_<!! the divder is so fat guys pls someone send me a like smaller one i can save on my PHONE bc my pc is still broken help
not enough akito stuff under the akito tag so here i am
contents = mentions of heavier bleeding in the “injuries” part, no other warnings
i tried not to specify reader too much guys woohoo not proofread idk the wordcount
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A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
i feel like akito would like seeing you when you’re passionate about a hobby or dream, especially since he does the same. However if you don’t have any, maybe just your excitement for anything materialistic that you might like.
if you’re also someone who enjoys music and singing like he does, he’d probably admire that over everything.
great minds think alike!
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
ok i actually have no idea help..
i would guess either your hands, your waist or lips
lips in a more romantic way, hes a touch starved guy so something as intimate as a kiss 100% has him giggling
you know that totally hot thing some guys do when they walk past you?? like the doorway doesnt have that much space and he just slightly moves you by your waist its so akskj i feel like hed do that n likes seeing your reactions out of it
i like waists too so i dont see why anyone WOULDNT like them.. i mean during hugging, back hugs, tickling etc i just think theyre nice and i feel like he would too
hands bc it’s satisfying to see you do literally anything.. holding the microphone, writing, the feeling when u play with his hair or draw circles on his back when you cuddle (idc hes SO small spoon coded) he just likes the feeling of it
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
if you’re like me and hug anyone and everyone he would be SICKK of you and enjoy it
he’d be embarrassed, totally
hes not a fan of pda, since whenever he sees a lovey dovey couple in public he gets irked by it but when hes the lovey dovey couple in public hes embarrassed
i mean as long as you’re not all hot and steamy in public i think hugs should be allowed!!
indoors hes a cuddlebag 100%
he likes being little spoon, or just laying on you as long as it doesnt crush you
but if you’re tired, or just want him to hold you he’d never refuse either, hes like.. 60/40?
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
if you go out anywhere, its a store that includes sweet shit cuz this guys sweet tooth is insane
if you have one too, its either he’s glad you share tastes OR you’re fighting over the last piece of cake
he’d really like indoor dates too, like where you just cuddle and watch movies
im sure hed like themeparks too, even tho im not sure if he enjoys wild rides like that i think hed just love the fun atmosphere
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
i think hes the type of guy who doesn’t like feeling vulnerable, but when he does let it out and you react in a more caring way than he expected, he’d loosen up a little.
hes such a cutie too, if something is on his mind he’d tell you in a blunt but monotone way, like in a way where it wouldn’t hurt you? it may still hurt you but he tries..
im not sure if he’d cry around you, in the first couple months of getting used to being in an established relationship, maybe he’d keep it a little more private (hes scared that you’ll think hes a wimp)
but once he gets used to you, and is sure you wont point and ridicule him for showing any type of emotion, you’re gonna be his safespace and anytime hes mad at someone its a gossip session
i want to bite him so badhes such a cufie
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
ok so im not entirely sure if he wants kids, he would 100% marry you definitely but will look out if you want to pursue your dreams (if you have any) like he does, and if you do he doesn’t want your kids to be neglected, neither for you to tire yourself out by doing both of those things
and if hes aware of the terrifying package that comes with pregnancy, both during and after i think he’d let you fully decide on wether you’re having kids
i still think that he’d love the idea of two kids, one boy one girl since he grew up with a sister. he thinks that despite the little fights he has with ena, he loves her and knows that they look out for eachother
he wouldnt mind having less either (for your health probably) or having two girls or two boys, the idea of having a little version of him and you running around is enough
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
in the beginning of the relationship, he observes
hes outspoken but i dont think (i doubt) that hes ever been in a relationship and is probably a newbie at it, so he just speculates on what you like, what your hobbies are, how you feel about things etc so he doesn’t hurt you and knows what to order/buy for you when you go out
its very heartwarming, he likes seeing your reactions when you recieve the very thing you’ve been eyeing but never had the time to get from him all like “how did you know?!” and by this you’re just boosting his ego
whenever you reach a goal, or pass a test he would (very discreetly) give you a kiss on the cheek or forehead if he doesn’t have anything on him, a peck or a snack for a small milestone!
but if its something insane like, getting into your dream school, debuting, or anything important hed take you out as like a little celebration
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
he loves it, and he doesnt
he loves doing it when you’re alone or when no one can notice, like under the table, in your pockets (more obvious but he doesnt realize) holding his pinky, etc
if someone points it out hes pulling away so fast LMAO
if you keep his hand in place and not let him pull away hes just gonna sit there with a red face saying “oh yeah…” and completely ignore any of the comments
in private, hes holding your hand all the time
like if you’re the small spoon for once, and end up falling asleep hed hold your hand and fall asleep on his own
hand holding is something that one of you has to initiate in some .. discreet way.. hes too embarrassed lol but if you show no sign of making the move he’ll force himself eventually (he wants to hold your hand too bad)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
if its something minor like a paper cut, hes gonna call you clumsy and dumb .. though if its like a super deep one and youre genuinely in pain hes sweating buckets
“seriously, how do you even get a papercut..”
if you like.. break a bone, or get a BAD injury hes on the verge of tears
like, hes so worried its kinda funny. hed be checking up on you 24/7 and get you little snacks
his schedule is tight but will stretch it out just so he can know you’re okay, but if its like an injury where you somehow got a deep cut and youre bleeding like crazy (while hes there) he suddenly has all medical knowledge
to sum it up, hed be worried regardless and tend to whatever injury you have
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
i don’t see him as much of a prankster, but he would probably tease you alot. like, if you’re in gym class and absolutely cannot do it anymore hes gonna tease you for it and call you a slowpoke
i don’t think hed go too far, he’d just make little harmless comments to rile you up for fun
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
hes touch starved and i doubt that his love language is physical affection, tho he does like holding you his primary love language would be quality time and acts of service
i can see him being all of them tbh, like words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and gift giving is just so him, the physical touch too.. hes just everything i love him
if you’re upset, he’d make you some food, scoop you up and reassure you and just hear you out (if the setting is right lol) hes just such a cutie
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
i think ill have to be vague with this one because this is more like akito x reader where i dont wanna specify anything about reader and akito.. like the imagination is up to u
but if anything, if you’re like past the marriage line, his favorite memory would be the day you got married and your honeymoon, i mean.. its marriage what do you excpect
if you’re also someone with a singing career like him, he’d love all the times you two practiced eachothers lines and choreographies. he just loves the idea of sharing a similar dream to someone as close as you
he loves all the minor memories too, whenever you two cuddle, whenever you reassure him, whenever hes reminded that you see him as your safespace etc
he just likes the entire memory of you
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
ill specify this as a nightmare inside the relationship circle, since i think this is what would apply in this alphabet
hes scared of hurting you in a way where you’ll see him in a bad light forever and would never want to even be on his radar
he hates the idea of being a source to your problems, it makes him sorta insecure that if he just didn’t exist, you’d probably be happier
in general, hes scared of being the reason of loosing you and just hurting you to such a degree
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
his specified addiction to cheesecake and pancakes lol.. or that he can’t own up to his feelings and just denies any confrontation about them
he likes playing with your hair, and theres just something about anything that you own that makes it super fun to use
like if hes taking a shower at your place and just looks at the shampoos you have, he’s totally using them
like not in a weird way, its just the thought that “whats so special about it?? let me just..”
like he just thinks anything yours is sacred (he has multiple hairties of yours and keeps them on his wrist)
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
im sorry i cant see this guy using petnames.. like maybe “dumbass” or just anything teasing but its just generally your name.. unless you ask him to use a nickname or just something people call you hed do it
i just dont see him using darling, cutie or princess.. its corny imo
you guys to yourselves, if you see him saying that thats u.. its just such an ick for me
i can KINDA see him using babe, since its kinda common (i dont see him using baby) and slightly sweetheart maybe idk
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
he loves it, he lives for it, it might be a little difficult to spend time together since his schedule is all messy but during school time or keeping him company while hes training is something he likes
he might be pent up and a little angry during some training sessions, and MIGHT say something mean without paying attention
if you get angry at him for it, he would just not notice and brush it off (during the moment) but would realize what he did and apologize when hes calmed down
this is a more personal hc but if you continue to ignore him and do NOT wanna speak to him bc umm why are you taking your anger out on ME??? he would have to corner you and beg for you to stop ignoring him
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
if you write songs and sing etc, obviously your songs since they have your voice in them
he mightttt make a song abt u, or just make a spotify playlist with songs that remind him of you
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
he’d be pretty open after awhile of being with you but miscommunication would be quite a problem regardless, especially in the beginning
he’d be a little shy of telling you too much, so when hes comfortable he would tell you most of the things he has on his mind
basically he just needs time to open up
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
id be SCARED of this guy so on a personal perspective it would take me AWHILEEE to even talk to him.. + id confess over text cuz im not going thru the embarrassment
if you’re friends and you somehow find out from a few interrogations that he has smth for you, confessing wouldnt be a problem
i feel like he would also maybe confess.. im not sure, it would take him awhile tho cuz.. tsundere
anyway, i think like if you’ve been friends for awhile PROBABLYY like a year.. unless you’re bold!! if you just met like as 1st years and liked him in 2nd it purely depends on how good your relationship is
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
this totally depends on the type of upset person you are, so if youre more like “angry do not talk to me i hate you get away” type of upset, but still want him to relentlessly chase after you for forgiveness (am i toxic..oops) he’d probably have to figure out that you’re this way, like hed think just an apology would cut it but would realize hes VERY wrong
i dont see him being the chasing after you type, but his soft spot for you would force him to since he misses you too much
if youre a more reasonably upset person, he would apologize and take you out maybe.. as i mentioned he doesnt like being a source of you being sad or angry, so hes gonna try his best
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
he’s not the showing off type, but if youre like for an example exceptionally pretty or talented at something, he’d babble and babble on about it
like how nice your hair is, how clear your skin is, how you’re practically glowing next to him, how good your grades are, how good you are at a type of sport, how organized you are.. literally anything that his little observation duty got out of you
vbs and the sekailoids are sick of him, and he gets embarrassed when confronted about how much he talks about you (he notices how much he talks about you but just cant stop)
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
he doesn’t want you to fight for anything, like in a perspective where youre battling against something alone. he wants to be there for you and with you
he wants you to know that he’ll be there for you regardless of how different your dreams are, he wants to support you!!
in conclusion, he would fight beside you if its about your dreams, and would fight for you if its something like bullying
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
he can’t read you fully, but he knows more than you’d think he does
ive said it like thrice LOL but this man is observant!!! he knows what you like and what you dont, your preferences and can already guess what you would choose in a store or public setting
in conclusion!!!! he can’t fully read how you feel, but he hes definitely better at it than the majority of people
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
if you want it super fancy, he’d try his best to make it in a more luxurious way so it fits your taste
before proposing, it would take him a few months to fully study how you would like it, if you want it expensive or just more thoughtful
based on the person he is and the type of person he would like, he’d do it purely all with love, yes.. no 3 million diamond ring with 1000 roses on a yacht
he would also like someone who isnt too high class, so a ring is a ring, he’d do it on a place where its super pretty (example like a mountain with a breath taking view) or the beach at night!! he wants to propose in private because he doesn’t dig public exposure of something so intimate
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
whenever you two cuddle and theres some music in the backround.
he loves your presence and anytime you’re cuddling while he sleeps, hes just so comfortable and calm
he likes off-school mornings where you two had a sleepover too!! he just wakes up happy
whenever you two watch a movie under a kotatsu with some snacks!!
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A/N
this is very long!! but its also the whole fluff alphabet lol.. i dont this think is ooc tbh maybe the “begging for forgiveness” part but its probably more accurate than not
plz no steal inspo is ok with creds @finanah2024
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Situationship to Exes to Lovers [Saiouma Prompt]
Clown: Thinking about saiou being in the middle of completely mundane activities where shuichi casually brings up "I think I'm in love with you" And kokichi immeadiately responds with "You're insane" And they have this conversation like 6 times Ajsgdhdb I just want them to completely brush over it and continue on with whatever they were doing like nothing happened
Dra: Is it done for the "wait that was akward I'll just pretend it didn't happen" way or "I'm unlovable and will ignore it" way
Clown: Hmmm, in like the this is a fun fact we've both fully accepted but aren't ready/ don't feel the need to have a full discussion about it yet But it can be angst, as a treat
Dra: Aww,, waiting until ready my beloved
Beez: i interpreted this as like, theyre already dating, and its just a running inside joke between them kahdkshdjdk
Ves: "love you" "ur just trying to get my money huh" (he is broke) "love you" "YOU POISONED THIS DINNER DIDN'T YOU"
Clown: In the middle of a game of chess "I love you" "your psychological warfare is cheap, really."
Hina: Oh shit we all had different interpretations I thought that this was the first time he says it and it's just. "I love you.", "You're insane." And then they don't adress it, just comfortably live with it
Dra: They move in together and confirm nothing [!! emoji]
Ves: shuuichi knowing kokichi loves him back but he isn't ready to say it yet,,,,,
Clown: I really like the thought of it being really casual, they've found a place that's really comfortable with each other. Enough that shuichi doesn't think twice before casually dropping the bomb because it feels right. And there's no need to pursue it immediately because there's no rush, no judgment between them hehehehe Shuichi just does it whenever he feels like and there's no expectation attached to it because they'll keep going as they are for now
Dra: They comfy,,,,,,,,,
Clown: Okay so now we can angst it
Ves: insecure shuuichi,,,,,,,
Clown: Shuichi becoming really anxious at the lack of answers Maybe meanwhile ouma takes it mostly as shuichi joking around
Ves: i think when kokichi finally says it back it'd be sometime when he doesn't have to face it mumbled into the back of shuuichi's neck in bed..
Dra: Why is he like this [sob emoji]
Ves: terminal clown disease "haha wouldn't it be funny if you actually loved me??? ANYWAY" olympic sprinting from that commitment
Dra: Me @ him
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[this wasn't necessary to include, but consider: funny to me]
Clown: Shuichis burying his face in his pillow after the 3rd time ouma seemingly brushes off his confession and meanwhile ouma is just. "Heh, he really though he could get me with that one, oldest trick in the book I'm 6 steps ahead-" Ouma is allergic to heart to hearts he's breaking out into hives
Dra: What would Shu gain from pretending to love him please [sob emoji]
Ves: his CRIMINAL EMPIRE smh dra his WEAKNESSES
Clown: The fact that he feels like he's losing is a crime in itself Shuichi stole his lunch money (feelings)
Ves: seriously though…shuuichi can't wait forever. bro better shape up or he's getting left
Clown: Shuichi starts to distance himself and ouma doubles down on trying to get his attention But its not working and he doesn't quite understand what he's done wrong Maybe shuichi just got tired of him too
Dra: Shu is in "You just want me to entertain you but never care for me back" mode now fuck
Me: oh, they're doomed
Ves: NOOOOOO THEY CAN MAKE UP I BELIEVE IN THEM
Dra: He also blames himself for being distant bc "I fell in love with him who cares if he just wants to use me at least we could spend time together"
Ves: shuuichi's gonna end up The One Who Got Away frrr he breaks the news of a job out of the country.. he leaves. they still never talk about it they basically cut contact but they can meet again years down the line bc i can't take them breaking up FOREVER
Clown: THEY HIT THE SPEEDRUN BUTTON They weren't even dating and they broke up, why are they like this [sob emoji]
Dra: How kicked puppy are they when away from each other
Ves: Maximum for at least a year kokichi never quite gets over it shuuichi moves on a lot more and then they do something stupid af like end up as coworkers
Dra: PETTY ARC
Ves: WOULD THEY BE,,,, i feel like it'd be more awkward and sad kokichi never forgave himself yknow yknow
Dra: I think he'd be "You left me" to Shu a lil
Clown: he tried to confess to him before shuichi left but circumstances made it so shuichi couldn't hear him
Ves: OKAY BUT HE'S GOTTA BE BETTER NOW OR ELSE THEYRE NEVER GETTING TOGETHER- DICE bullied kokichi into therapy after he turned into goo post-breakup okay. he's a leeeettle better at communication now
Dra: One of them sees the other crying over something and they just hug for way too long instead of talking
Ves: they get tipsy at a company bonding outing
Dra: They fall asleep clinging to each other !!
Beez: its the best sleep theyve had in ages /hj
Clown: Okay, okay. Shuichi arriving at the company post a messy breakup who's wary as all hell about hanging around ouma again. He doesn't wanna be hurt again. But its so easy to fall right back into the place he had with ouma and bicker despite the lingering tension. Ouma is post neet era. Took him a bit to accept help from dice and friends but he's finally breaking in there. Shuichi lighthearted asks about his plans to rule the world with his orginazation and ouma shrugs and says "I guess we grew up." They don't talk about anything until the alcohol lmao They're dapper buisness men at a soul sucking company I'm assuming aksbdkdh Where do they work actually??
Ves: i was assuming a detective agency
Dra: And what do they talk about when drunk enough [eyes emoji]
Ves: the good mediocre old times? "we were real stupid back then huh. wanna make out"
Dra: Did Ko become a detective too help
Ves: IT'S ONE OF THE BEST JOBS FOR HIM I'LL DIE ON THIS HILLLLL
Dra: They get fired for this/j [making out]
Ves: they hide in a corner it's fine
Clown: Fully silly speedrun one night stand that they both don't know how to deal with and now they're working on a case together whose events they're going to metaphorically link to their current lives/j
Hina: "This murder is just like the death of our relationship"
Ves: "see how these people didn't communicate, kokichi?? SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM???????"
Dra: Who wakes up/gets sober first [eyes emoji]
Ves: kokichi unfortunately shuuichi is a Squeezer so no escaping for him <333
Clown: He's going to jump out a window to escape alshsk
Ves: NUH UH he tries but shuuichi wakes up they cook breakfast together. it's. An Experience
Dra: They get eggshells in the yolk because fuck them/pl
Ves: these eggshells are also a metaphor for their-[GETS SHOT]
Me: Shuichi waking up groggily, what could he mumble to destroy Kokichi who's already been dying for half an hour?
Dra: An ex's name/j
Me: noooo that's not how I meant it!
Ves: an old petname
Me: YESSS
Ves: for a minute he doesn't even realize all those years've passed,,,,, kokichi's hair is still FUCKING ITCHY-
Hina: No but this was my first thought too It was that or "This was a mistake" Or even "Who are you?"
Ves: THIS IS MEANT TO BE THEIR RECONCILIATION GUYS WGAT THE FUCK
Me: that's as far off from what I wanted as it gets, I was trying to think of something cheesy with extra cheese, like "you stayed,,," is not enough
Dra: He says darling in the most eepy voice ever methinks
Hina: Or even just a "Stay…"
Ves: my goto for Maximum Sap is bunny but i know that makes some people cringe SNDJSBHDFJBGF….hitting him with darling could be an instakill… is he aware of the situation or is it more of a 'nooooo it's too early babe,,,,'
Me: something that was more personal to them, a pet name that clearly has a story behind it unaware, more than half asleep
Ves: if there has to be a Story than i am once again proposing bnuy
Dra: While yes they definitely have that Saiou are also the type of mfs to call each other a random object for the funnies and it sticks
Me: that counts as having a story and being something specific to them
Ves: i maintain that all their petnames start out Stupid
Clown: Called him bunny because ouma wouldn't stop trying to eat cardboard/j
Ves: it was their pens and cords actually. but i think he'd try cardboard if you put it in his hands when he was distracted enough but also a random object? does shuuichi just wake up and say paperclip?
Dra: Yes
Checkers: Kokichi starts calling him Baby Carrot
Ves: did i tell you about the 'punk' one i watch a streamer who apparently started calling her husband pumpkin -> then punkin -> then just punk. i know this because when he comes in the room she says PUNK!! in the most affectionate voice and it's hilarious every time very saioucoded
Clown: Shuichi lovingly calling ouma "punk" beloved
Clown: Okay, so saiou waking up together. Do they talk about it? Or is it an unspoken thing? And will there be a dramatic scene where ouma is physically ripped from his silly little dodging commitment Era when there's a real threat he might lose shuichi forever? /hj
Dra: Maybe not forever but something happens and Shu might have to leave again and he DOES NOT want that
Clown: Ajsgdjdh I was gonna shoot shuichi BUT YES
Me: it was a christmas office party and they got snowed in together I'm talking like. Snowstorm hits as they're eating breakfast, Ouma is watching his plans of leaving asap after they eat and not touching any heavy topics slip through his fingers as it's howling against the windows
Ves: ah, getting snowed in…mother nature's get along sweater the discussion is very stilted but it HAPPENS okay and then they kith <3
Dra: What if they like. Use metaphors. It's hard to actually talk about it so they pretend they're only talking about the weather
Ves: shuuichi starts it as a way to give kokichi an out but still make him Talk
Clown: Shuichi finding ways to get what he wants without sacrificing ouma's lying shield YES
Ves: they communicate strangely but they still do
Dra: Something something "The windows can't hold the snow out forever, they'll either need stronger support or the wind should be considerate and calm down" (I knew you weren't ready but it kept hurting me when you avoided me and I couldn't take it anymore.)
Ves: as the serious conversation (and coded apologies) eases down it just gets. Silly bad adult film dialogue they're both giggling like 'hmmm maybe the wind should get on over here then-' 'i sure like the feeling of the wind on my face' and they just double over wheezing they're so fucking annoying <3 their coworkers have a bigger storm coming than the snow one smh it turns out they're insanely good at solving cases together. but GOD are they obnoxious-
Dra: PDA is officially in
Clown: Everyone's walked in on them making out in the closet at least once
Dra: Imagine them praising each other in the already small cubicles after solving cases sjgjdj
Ves: i am a coworker kinnie now. if i have to hear about shuuichi's massive sexy throbbing wrinkly brain one more time i set off the fucking bombs they are communicating their affection TOO MUCH!!! GO BACK [after everyone starred it] so ur enjoyers of shuuichi's sexy brainmeat then????????
Hina: NO Shuichi Saihara is not sexy
Ves: -kokichi, in the denial phase
Dra: They call each other partner. Work and gay
Dra: They solve a really heavy case together and it impacts one of them and hurt comfort,, Points at Shu He can relive the first case tm methinks
Ves: he stumbles away from the scene and kokichi chases after to let him hide his eyes in his neck just huggin on the curb,, he doesn't want anybody to look at him :((
Dra: Can they be silly for a moment,, Kokichi tells him to close his eyes and just guides him until Shu feels better
Ves: he slaps his little babyhands over shuuichi's face "cmon, cmon, don't you trust me??"
Dra: Makes him walk into stuff for the funny/j
Apollo: Ngl, I love the 'guess we just grew up stuff' because you can angst it so fucking hard if you try hard enough
Like they always talked about ruling the world but they actually meant making a safe space for misfits like them. They wanted to change the world for the better and if at least one kid didn't have to go through what they did, it meant they'd won.
Shuichi knows this and to hear Kokichi say it was all just childish wishes? It hurts so much because Shu knows that he can help people. Hell, he's done it by becoming a detective.
Yet he gave up so easily… He's not the Kokichi he left behind that's for sure
Shuichi doesn't know how to react. Here's the guy who broke his heart (by accident mind you) who had an honestly noble dream and he just…Gave up. Kokichi Ouma gave up on something.
Now imagine this. DICE also broke up. They all decided it was time to grow up and felt they couldn't if they stayed in their silly little clown group
They have some contact with each other but have sorta drifted away like multiple friendship groups do Kokichi pretends it doesn't hurt him as much as it does
Shuichi doesn't know how to react. He can tell it hurts but he also knows Kokichi will deny it.
Theres also a tiny sick part of him that wonders if it's a good thing Kokichi is suffering at the breakup of his group because Kokichi broke his heart. Shuichi hates that part of him
LIKE A SMALL PART THINKS IT'S KARMA THEN HE WANTS TO PUNCH HIMSELF BECAUSE YEAH KOKICHI PLAYED WITH HIS FEELINGS OR WHATEVER BUT DICE WAS KOKICHI'S FAMILY AND NOW THEY'VE SPLIT UP AND KOKICHI IS THROWINFG HIMSELF INTO HIS WORK TO AN ALMOST UNHEALTHY DEGREE TO DISTRACT FROM THE LONELYNESS AND PAIN
Clown: AND PART OF HIM IS RIGHT. EVEN OUMA THINKS SO. HE KNOWS WELL ENOUGH THAT OUMA WAS ENTIRELY CAPABLE OF NOT BEING GOOD. Sometimes Ouma sucks and sometimes that has consequences. It doesn't mean he hasn't learned, but it also doesn't mean those effects went away. Ouma blames himself for a lot and somehow it hurts a bit to come to the understanding ouma's feelings aren't that far off from his own in that case They're better now tho
Apollo: They're better but it takes time Shuichi is glad that Kokichi had gotten better but those consequences are low-key permanent but at the same time, that's life Shu gives him a big hug though when he finally breaks down over it all
Clown: With ouma slowly growing distant to dice to the point where they rarely talk…I think it would partially be his own fault too.
They're family, they'll never not love each other. But they have their own lives, own goals, own families now. And so they'll never be as close as they were when the corralled behind ouma as their leader. Its a big change. And there's only so much they can do when their schedules conflict or Ouma doesn't respond to their texts.
They know Ouma, you don't spend a good chunk of your formative years together and don't learn something. And what they've learned is that ouma has to do it by himself.
He has to make the effort to reach out to them, he has to start extending his hand out to them again. They'll be waiting for when he does
Shuichi being the first push into getting him to do that and rebuild his family, its different now, but its just as good
Apollo: With Shuichi, there was no promise that he'd be coming back nor a promise he'd answer any messages but DICE? DICE was with him through thick and thin and know how his mind ticks.
They know that despite not talking to them for ages, he still cares about them.
He just doesn't want to bother them is all but thanks to reconnecting with Shuichi, he's able to reach out to them and become apart of their lives again
Ves: he's pushed himself out of his heartbroken NEET era and reconnected with shuuichi but DICE is harder DICE are divided on Shuuichi Opinions on the one hand it was super kokichi's fault they broke up. on the other SHUUICHI BROKE HIS HEART >:(
Apollo: Kokichi's right hand man eventually pulls Shu to the side to talk everything out and reminds him of how unused Kokichi is to being cared for by people other than DICE and that's why he never said 'I love you' back and just treated it like a joke. He wasn't used to be loved and still isn't in a way that's not family
Ves: "also he never got over you and if you leave him again i think he might actually die. good luck!" /J/J kokichi is so demi to me it's crazyyy he has no idea how tf to handle romantic love (or how to get over it!) it's not something that's supposed to Happen to him
Apollo: Poor Shuichi though. He got to move on and Kokichi never did
Ves: he mentions someone he dated in those intervening years and kokichi is so violently reminded of his miserable lonely NEET time that he makes up a guy
Apollo: He's just fumbling to describe this guy and Shuichi just nods along
Ves: HAHA YEAH WE BOTH HAD A LOT OF FUN HUH. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY VERY REAL VERY SEXY EX JEFFERSON RYAN GRANT HE HAS. SKIN. AND HAIR
Apollo: "Oh and we totally did alllll the sex!" "Sure Ko."
Ves: hey so they were just in an unnamed roommates situationship before right did they even HAS KOKICHI OUMA EVER KNOWN THE TOUCH OF ANOTHER
Apollo: HE'S A NEET THE HELL DO YOU THINK? /J
Ves: HE WASN'T BEFORE HE ENTERED NEET ARC OUT OF HEARTBREAK THEY HAD A BREAKUP THAT MESSY AND DIDN'T EVEN FUCK!?
Apollo: DO YOU THINK KOKICHI 'CAN'T TELL PEOPLE MEAN IT WHEN THEY SAY THEY LOVE HIM' OUMA FUCKED SOMEONE?
Ves: this is so embarrassing for him was. was that drunk one night stand his FIRST TIME?????????
Apollo: OH GOD WAS IT? IMAGINE HIM TELLING SHU THAT YEAH WE WERE DRUNK AND YOU TOOK MY V CARD Shuichi just pauses because he knew Kokichi had becoem a NEET after he left but he somehow didn't expect this Shuichi said Let's get drunk and throw out that card /j
Me: no… I was under the full assumption that they did, and were dating, Kokichi just didn't believe Shuichi loves him & didn't say he loves him because of that, the pet name scene doesn't make sense otherwise, it was because he was thrown back to waking up together
Apollo: Me waking up every morning: How can I ruin the Pit's day today?
Me: today by trying to make Ouma a virgin, apparently, but I won't let you they fucked, I know this in my heart, it's okay of course they were fucking, they were roommates, fucking is a lot easier than talking about feelings bet they even had a situation (or multiple) when things escalated that way as to avoid talking about feelings, Kokichi kissing him so he doesn't have to reply to something
Ves: you can ABSOLUTELY have a petname for ur roommate but i see the vision actually. ouma using physical affection to avoid verbal,,,OUGH
Me: yeah, but it's about waking up together and slipping into the old act because he's done it many times it just felt so familiar to wake up this way that he said it without thinking!!!
Clown: Thinking about ouma calling one of the dices members for the first time in a long while and they don't yell at him, they aren't even disappointed. They just start immediately gushing about how wow! They have so much to talk about. And ouma has a moment where he finds they've grown so much without him realizing. He doesn't have to protect them anymore. And they're having lunch on a Saturday and a weight falls of his shoulders for the first time in a while
Apollo: Kokichi gives a wobbly smile and they ask what's wrong and he says he's so relieved they're doing so well and that he missed them. He gets teased for being a sap despite them tearing up as well One of his former classmates is also at the cafe and is just like Fuck they're back together Maki screaming internally because Kokichi knows where she works
Clown: What crimes will they commit? Maki Cafe worker real??? :0
Apollo: Kokichi makes the worst sugar riddled drinks. He just grins while requesting the worst thing ever
Clown: He can't even finish them half the time he's just doing it out of spite
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thatblvckboyy · 22 days
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girl i have sm delulu ideas imma just drop it then sleep on grass MWAH (you could put any idol as substitute and with my storage being likr 0.1 empty i need some pics LOLz)
1. jeno being the school heartthrob but no one knows except for his friends cause its obvious to them on his crush on this cute femboy but he doesnt wanna do shit with him cause hes scared of genuine relationships so he just hookup with random ppl thinking its him until he finds out that the girl hes talking to make out flaked on him and hes flirting with the femboy that he's been crushing on but his crush thought hes not interested when jeno got shocked and jeno proved him wrong in the library
2. soobin and yn were roommates and what yn doesnt know is that soobin was that member of the rock band hes been listening and also was the tall guy with the mask and big tiddies and abs that always wear calvin klrin and make sure his outfits make him show it which he wants to get fucked by him so bad. soobin and yn hates eo tho cause yn is annoyed with the commotion soobin is making all the time and soobin is annoyed at yn just cause hes cute and hes fun to tease so his surprise when he sees yn fingering himself to photo of him he knows who his muse is gonna be in the next album
3. sunghoon and sunoo are really close and ppl think theyre a couple and knowing sunoo being so pretty yn thinks hes not gonna get sunghoon and he becomes jealous overtime at sunoo for being so pretty and getting the hottest guy in the school but that all stops when a drunk confession by sunoo says how sunghoon wants yn to [REDACTED] and yn is now frozen when sunoo dropped forward to him and he has to help sunghoon to bring sunoo home and trying to cover the fact that he knows that sunghoon has the heats for him (and maybe sunoo has the heats for yn too)
4. taehyun. just taehyun. there was literally no chance for taehyun to see you and make him sign an nda with you. unless....
5. bangchan/felix (idk they both fit) is an obsession for no reason should you be buying all their merch watching their relaxing lives (no its not cause theyre shirtless half the time) and giving and funding them gifts if you can i mean its rlly embarrassing but at least you wont get to meet them so its just support so... "hey! im your new neighbor. hope we get along" that accent feels all too familiar?.!,!,
6. san was so drunk he didnt recognize that he wasnt hugging his pillow but his crush. and yn was stiff as a rock feeling san's body knowing he's- GRINDING? you scream but when san got out of his drowsiness and drunkness you relaxed "yk i liked it. ive always liked you sa-" "fuck. kiss me pls yn"
7. seven minutes with anton. from him being the cutest most innocent big man to you clenching yourself from his 7 inch FAWK I NEED HIM
mwah rate each one its obvi i got tired at some of them BEJDKFKFKFOF
Omg girllie wat r u doing here go and make a fic already I wanna read them all
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