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heyheydidjaknow · 3 years

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I’m uploading this Friday at 12:10 am. Or, at least, that’s when I finished writing this. Yes, we’re still on the angst thing. It won’t last forever, but still.

Chapter 9

“How is she?”

Donatello sits down next to his brother on the couch. “Same as yesterday,” he sighs. “Comatose.”

“I still can’t believe it,” Raphael smirks. “That stupid bitch decided to total the fuckin—"

“Raphael,” he promises coolly, “I will personally make it my life’s goal to make sure you can never open your mouth again if you don’t shut up.”

He puts his hands up. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Will you two be quiet for a minute? I’m trying to listen.” Leonardo kneels in front of the television.

There is a new news story.

“They can’t arrest her, can they?” The tallest brother glances at the others.

“Nah.” Michelangelo is sprawled out on his portion of the couch, eyes dully focused on the screen. “They’ll side with her before someone from a street gang, ‘specially with those…” He trails off. “’ Sides,” he clears his throat, “any good public defense lawyer would call it self-defense, and there’s no way the police would convict a teenage girl of any degree of murder with the injuries she has; bad press.”

“Mikey,” Leo asks, “how come you know that and not how to multiply numbers by seven?”

“Because seven is a stupid number that was created just to make us all feel stupid.”

“Leo—”

“He’s right,” Raph agrees. “They won’t put her away for something like that.” He chuckles darkly. “Besides, there’s no more evidence.”

“After what happened with the neurologist?”

“Donnie,” Leo turns to look at him. “She’s going to be fine.”

He opens his mouth to argue, closes it.

” The perpetrator,” the news anchor reads, ” was found this morning after a panicked nine-one-one caller had seen the hand of the assailant hanging over a ledge. The corpse had, presumably, been flung away from the scene of the incident as a consequence of the explosion, miraculously landing on the roof of a nearby restaurant. The body has been identified as Fong Zhao, who was arrested on multiple charges of armed battery earlier this year. The police have refrained from offering Channel Six detailed information, but we have an anonymous source who claims that he and the gang he is supposedly involved in, locally referred to as the Purple Dragons, was also involved in the hijacking of a truck carrying a substance believed to be tear gas. The driver of the truck testified in favor of this statement earlier this evening. An investigation is currently ongoing regarding the involvement of the men in question, and we at Channel Six implore our viewers to come forward with any information you may have on the case or the supposed ringleader, the recently escaped Xever Montes. More on that later tonight. Up next, a local—”

Leonardo shuts off the television. “Well, there you go.” He stands up. “See? Didn’t even mention her name.”

Donatello breathes out a sigh of relief. “Good,” he nods after a moment. “That’s... good.” He cradles his head in his hand, his concerns hardly pacified by the report.

This, he cannot excuse. This is entirely a matter of his own negligence.

‘I should’ve noticed sooner, insisted to come with.’ He zones out, his brother starting a conversation about something he cannot bring himself to pay attention to. ‘How could she be that reckless? It’s Shredder for fuck’s sake; I should’ve at least noticed the body or something, anything.’ His fingers lace together as he stares a hole into the ground. ‘Even if I couldn’t have stopped her, I should’ve been there, if only after the fact.’ He runs his tongue along his teeth absentmindedly. ‘Some ninja I am. Some friend. Some—’

“So, I broke Y/N’s arms, right?”

His head snaps up. “You what?”

“There he is,” Raph chuckles. “Knew that’d get his attention.”

“Don’t make me go over there,” he glares. His face flushes in embarrassment.

Leonardo rolls his eyes at his brother’s antics. “As I was saying, it’s been pretty quiet, hasn’t it? Since the incident?”

“Now that you mention it,” Raph points out, “since the whole Leatherhead fiasco, I don’t think anything’s really happened. Ya know, besides the Kraang thing.” He crosses his arms behind his head, leaning back into the couch. “It’s been getting’ kinda boring If I’m bein’ honest.”

“It’s that desire to fight that’s going to get you killed,” Donatello informs him, staring at the television screen. “Saw what happened to her, right? Weren’t you just saying how stupid she was being?”

“Yeah, but that’s different.” He smiles sharply. “She’s got exactly no training. As much as you guys seem to have a thing for humility all of a sudden,” he waves his hand contemptuously, “the only reason she got hurt is that she was being stupid, so we’re pretty much undefeated, no thanks to Leo.”

He stands up, deciding against fighting him. “If you need me,” he says curtly, “I’ll be in my lab.”

“Watch it, Raph,” the eldest brother snaps.

“Why should I?” He throws his hands up. “Am I wrong?”

Mikey quietly grabs his comic off the floor, retreating to his room, presumably.

Donatello slides the door in between him and his brothers as he sits down at his desk.

You have been stuck in the hospital for about two weeks now.

‘Technically,’ he corrects himself as he pulls his laptop open, ‘it’s been three hundred fifty-seven hours, meaning it’s closer to fifteen days than two weeks. Why do I know that?’ He pulls up an image, uncapping a permanent marker and working on one of the more mindless parts of his latest project: reviving an incredibly battered map. He already has a frame for it once he is finished, but, knowing his brothers, the fading colors would likely be a point of contention if he did not at least make an effort to make it easier to read. Fortunately for him, it is not laminated. Unfortunately—depending on how you look at it— a lot of the finer details—the integral streets names in particular—are all irreparably smudged and, therefore, will have to be all rewritten by hand, turning a once twenty-minute job into at least a two-hour investment.

He tries to tune out the incessant arguing of his two older brothers as he focuses on making his minute handwriting legible despite the infuriatingly fat marker nib.

“You should have taken her offer for a pen when you had the chance,” he mumbles to himself.

His hand stops.

‘Would it be weird to go check on her again? Just to make sure she’s still alright? I mean,’ he goes back to work, ‘even if it were, how would she know?’

He shakes his head to clear it. ‘Stop that. You’re being a creep again.’

Over those two weeks, his distractedness has become more of a problem than it has in the past in reference to his work. He is hardly a stranger to having a thousand thoughts bouncing around his head at once, but where once a rapid stream of information was there is now an aggravatingly slow sludge. The origin of said mind sludge is not at all a mystery to him, which makes the whole thing infinitely more frustrating. ‘Frustrating? Depressing? Does it even matter?’

He rubs his eye absentmindedly with the heel of his palm as he strains to see what he is doing. The smell of the marker is corrosive in his nostrils. His hand shakes. He sets it down, wringing his hands as if to force them back into submission as he stares holes into the map. ‘This is not supposed to be challenging.’ He closes his eyes, the image of you lying on the ground, a bloody, skeletal figure shaking and begging for your life carved into the backs of his eyelids, a hideous scar.

He can not stop thinking about what you said the night before the incident. Something about being able to care for yourself.

What would you say to him now? He imagines that it would be something to remind him of how the accident is your fault, how he should not beat himself up over it, but all that does is convince him that he should have been faster to act or to respond or something. There had to have been something he, in his infinite wisdom, could have done. What else can he reason? That he is powerless? That he had no say in what happened that night of nights?

‘How come I can plan and build a combat vehicle out of alien technology and an old subway car and I can’t—’

He jumps at a loud banging at the door.

“Donnie!” He can hear Raphael’s wicked grin from behind the door. “Bank robbery! Let’s go!”

He sighs, capping the marker. His breakdown will have to wait.

“Comin’!”

The ringing in your ears is already annoying.

You have been awake for about five minutes. You have elected against moving for a plethora of reasons, but the ringing is a relatively large determining factor in your decision. You are, admittedly, not sure where you are until you hear the tell-tale incessant beeping you remember from your childhood. You do not open your eyes yet. You are incredibly drowsy for some reason.

‘Hospital?’

You sit up carefully, wincing as a numb pain permeates through your arms. You run your fingers over your face curiously, feeling for any perceived disfigurement as your eyes scan your surroundings. The small room you have been placed in seems standard; there are a couple of chairs under a window that makes up half of the wall, a television screen in a corner of the room, an inoffensive painting, and a small vase filled with some sort of white flowers.

You feel a protruding scar on the right side of your face. It traces from the bridge of your nose to about halfway across your cheekbone. As you bring your hands down to pull the hospital gown away from your body, you catch sight of your hands. Long, jagged cuts run vertically along the front of your hands, and as your eyes travel up your arms, you notice fewer, shorter scars along the insides of your forearms. You swallow, pulling the cloth away from your body to see long scratches running from your thighs to under your ribcage. You pull the blanket off to find that one of your legs is encased in a white cast.

You blink. ‘What stupid thing did I do?’

You lay back down, fingers absentmindedly tracing the scars. ‘I must have been out for a bit.’ You push the hair out of your face, noting how oddly shaky your hands are as you try to focus on what had happened. ‘Why wouldn’t my folks be here? They wouldn’t ditch me in a hospital, would they?’ You hold them out in front of you, palms to the ceiling. ‘I don’t look old or anything. My nails aren’t much longer than they were before, so I can’t have been out for that long.’

Your eyebrows furrow. ‘Parents…’ You swallow. ‘Oh, right. The fire.’ Your eyes go out of focus. ‘Dead. I was, too, until recently.’ You put your arms down. ‘I’m hungry. Where am I?’ You close your eyes. ‘New York. East coast. How far is the East Coast from the West Coast? I should call her so she knows I’m—no, she’s dead.’

“All dead and gone,” you mumble the tune to yourself.

You cover your face. ‘Focus. What happened?’ You recall what you think is a church. ‘Turtles. Turtle. Oh, TMNT. Where are people? Focus.’ You yank at a piece of your hair, mumbling to yourself as you try to run through the memory again.

The image of that man’s body takes your breath away.

You shut your eyes tighter. ‘Right. Car. Glass. Glass would be a good candy. Could you make glass out of sugar? Isn’t that what a lollipop is?’ You hug yourself tightly, careful of the IV as you roll onto your side towards it. ‘I killed someone. Someones. That’s not a word. Gasoline smells bad.’ You feel tears prick at your eyes. ‘I deserve to die for that. There has to have been an easier way to do that. I deserve to burn again. That explosion was so prettily animated in that episode. I can’t breathe.’

You curl your legs up towards you, using the arm not connected to the IV to hook behind your knees. You bury your head in your shoulder as you force your breathing to slow. ‘I miss her. Where is he? They’re dead and you killed them, you heartless bitch.’

You feel a sob rise in your throat. You swallow it back. ‘Stop being a pussy.’ You hear yourself start to count softly. ‘They’re all dead and gone. You’re on your own here, so get a grip.’ You grip the blanket. ‘After all, who are you going to turn to? The guys who already risk their lives every day? Or maybe Splinter, who will probably tell you some bullshit about letting your pain go?’

‘That’s not fair,’ you argue with yourself. ‘You can turn to Murakami. Casey might be willing to help.’

‘Because Casey’s known for his reliability and Murakami would want to deal with your stupid emotional problems.’

“Twenty-three,” you whisper, keeping your voice even. “Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six…’

You pull yourself back up, bringing your knee to your chest as you wipe any tears that may have leaked out with the back of your hand.

You do not have to wait long until someone comes in to check on you, a taller gentleman with sharp features and sunken eyes behind curly black hair. He introduces himself as Nurse McGrath, gives you a run down of the dizzying number of injuries you had suffered in the accident, what they had done to fix the problem, and starts to discuss what would become of you now.

“The doctor predicts that you’ll be able to remove your cast in approximately six weeks, and that you will regain your fine-motor skills fully in eight.” He is obviously half asleep, but you can hardly blame him; the clock on the wall reads that it is about three in the morning. “The symptoms from the whiplash should completely fade in about three months. If you would be open, there are medications we can prescribe to help with the pain.”

You smile. “Thank you, sir, but I’d rather not.” You are sincerely concerned what might happen if you start taking any sort of medication right now, considering your mental health.

“I should probably warn you in advance that the police might ask you to come in to identify the guys who kidnapped you.”

You blink, confused. “How do they know I was kidnapped?”

“Anonymous tip, according to the news.” He scratches something into some form or another. “I dunno the specifics, but nobody thinks they’re gonna charge you with anything, ‘specially since the driver was from that street gang.”

You nod. “Gotcha.” You purse your lips. “What day is it?”

“Twenty-fourth, now.”

You sigh. “Well,” you shrug, ignoring the pain it causes, “at least I’m not dead.”

“At least.” He caps his pen. “Technically, you’re free to leave, but the doc thinks it’s a good idea to stay overnight. Your insurance provider has your medical bills covered, so you’re good for it.”

“Honestly? I’m surprised I don’t feel weaker.” You smile. “I’m more than happy to head home tonight, if that makes most sense.”

“Personally, I wouldn’t stay.” He starts heading out of your room. “Your cellphone is locked up. I’m guessing you want it?”

You nod eagerly, realizing quickly that makes the ringing worse.

“I’ll bring it right back, then.”

You refrain from touching it until he leaves.

It looks as if it was put in a blender, but you find it does still turn on. A problem quickly arises: your hands cannot hold the phone. You set it down on the mattress, each movement taking a ridiculous amount of time to coordinate as you type like someone who has never used a phone before. ‘Fine motor skills. Right.’ You type out a message after approximately too long that tells Donnie that you are out of the hospital and heading home.

You check out of the hospital at approximately four-thirteen. The trip home is a straight line of a walk that takes you approximately twenty minutes. Getting in through the door with a walker is a bit of a challenge, but it works out well enough.

You lock the door and windows when you get home, shutting your phone off as you crawl into bed.

You let out a low groan as your head punishes you for your heinous crime of moving. You had realized ten minutes into your walk that you were not at all physically strong enough to walk that long, and you already hate yourself for it, among other reasons. As you crawl into bed, ignoring your body’s protest, you still stand by your decision to not take any medication, especially now.

You feel as though you are being suffocated as you cling onto your pillow, pressing your face into it as you cry silently, the ringing in your ears only getting louder in the silence of your apartment.

‘I feel sick.’

You remember your first night here. You remember the feeling it had caused you, the numb ache of loss as you submitted to the situation you had found yourself in. It feels like an eternity ago, now. You know, logically, it cannot have been more than two months since you got here.

You had decided against taking a cab back home. You had the cash, and you still do, in your bloodstained pocket. You saw many as you walked home, and you had turned a blind eye to them all.

You feel yourself trembling again. You remember the first night you had slept on your own here, the nightmares you swore were the product of a mind much more sadistic than yours ever was. You remember, too, the nightmares you had after Bradford, the way that, for the first time in your life since you were five years old you woke up drenched in sweat and crying for your mother.

What possible dream could come from this?

You reach a hand to the nightstand, hovering over your cellphone as you consider your next action.

Slowly, you retract it, letting it rest next to you. ‘It’s four. He’s not awake.’ You do not have the energy to get up to grab the bottle of sleeping pills from your bathroom.

‘I don’t want to sleep. I can’t take another nightmare.’ You rest your cheek on the pillow, forcing your eyes shut. ‘Mare. Why is it called a nightmare? Are mares truly that terrifying?’

“One,” you whisper. “Two. Three.”

Table of Contents

Chapter 8

Chapter 10

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bleedingthirium · 4 years

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Gavin x Reader (Dreams Come True)

Title: Dreams Come True Words: 10,300 (sorrynotsorry) Genre: Emotional Hurt-Comfort, Fluff, Romance Characters: Gavin Reed x Fem!Reader + Nines (platonically) Warnings: Um, it’s super long, rushed in some places, completely unedited because, let’s be real, who has time to edit? and just chaotically structured writing. Authors Note: Really self-concious of this fic. It didn’t turn out anywhere near as good as I hoped it would. So catch my sobbing at Gavin’s desk. This is for @bring-me-a-coffee-dipshit because she’s been feeling down and no one hurts my baby! Me & my DCPD boys will protecc this gem. Also, I don’t know how to write long fics. Hence the chaotic messy structure of writing. I’m not a professional. I also don’t know how to write short fics either because this was supposed to be written done ‘n’ dusted within a day. And it took over a week! Probs should’ve put in parts. But I’m also lazy so... ENJOY!

Summary: Gavin gets a phonecall stating reader has been admitted to hospital due to fainting from stress. There’s only one thing that can stress reader out to such a point and Gavin is PISSED.

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇ Nothing ever seemed to feel good enough for anyone. You tried your best, but your best wasn’t good enough. You were in desperate need of a break because you could feel yourself breaking down. It was hard to find the strength to smile, and where you normally would smile, tears threatened to present themselves in the corners of your eyes. Luckily a deep, slow breath and an eye-roll to the heavens as if praying the pain away, seemed to keep those negative emotions at bay. The factor of your stress was the preparation of exams, and understandably so. Exams were always a stressful time for everybody, but it seemed to be the worst time for everything to come crumbling down around you.

You had a phone call from your Mother, who seemed to always find something to nitpick about you. Normally you could just shrug your shoulders at the end of the phone call and go about your day. Either you were high on stress already, or what your Mother said seemed to have hit too close to your heart, validating those fears you had; that you were destined to be a failure, your grandparents would be disappointed in you, your mother is currently disappointed in you (yes, she said that!), all because you decided to pursue business studies and get a degree in Business so that, one day, you could open a new bookstore and run it the way you want to; for it to be a unique and welcomed independent store rather than a big chain retail store. Your Mother would have much preferred you to pursue a more beneficial career, something like Politics, Medicine or Law. Something that was, unfortunately, too out of your league of knowledge. It wasn’t for lack of trying. You would have loved to have become a woman of medicine, a scientist even! You find all that fascinating and constantly reading journals, watching documentaries… but you are just unable to retain the information. It’s not because you’re dumb. It’s just how life is. But your Mother had no problem calling you out on it and quite plainly stating that you’re dumb. “I never expected to raise a child whose IQ is lower than the average person. What was the point in supporting your studies if you weren’t going to build a decent career for yourself? At least your boyfriend has a decent career. You should be disappointed and ashamed of yourself. Because I am.” That was the phone call of the morning that had started your bad day. You already had a bad week regardless. Stressing over studies and exams, and then dealing with rude customers at your local part-time job. You loved your job, you enjoyed helping customers but the rude ones… It really began to take its toll on you. And you didn’t want to whine to your boyfriend at the end of the day because he has much longer shifts than you, and his occupation is physically and mentally demanding. The last thing you wanted to do was bitch to him about your menial day when he could’ve been dealing with bigger shit. “Can’t believe someone as dumb as you is working in a place like this. The easiest job in the world and you managed to fuck up my order. I want to speak to your manager.” It was one tiny mistake that could have easily been rectified had this customer given you the chance to apologise and correct your mistake. No harm done. Instead, you were left speechless at the sudden onslaught of insults that your own mother basically spat at you hours earlier. You call your manager as per requested and allowed him to deescalate the situation while you excused yourself to assist other customers. At the end of the day you were called in to his office and even with the door shut, every word could loudly be heard in the staff lunch room as you were being berated over the incident earlier. The entire day had been an extremely bad one in general and you were more than glad to go home. Unfortunately everything began to drown you all at once. You didn’t even make it to your bus stop when your hands began to tremble violently, your legs felt like jelly, your heart was pounding so painfully in your chest that it was like knives were beginning to stab at you from the inside, noises were muted out yet you swore you could hear yourself struggling to breathe as well as hearing the blood rushing in your veins right in your ear. You didn’t even hear anyone call out when you collapsed.

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

It was a slow day at the Precinct which was both a blessing and a curse; it meant no major crimes had taken place, but it also meant that Gavin was stuck with paperwork – something that he despised doing and would often neglect to do, and then in situations like today, he now has a mountain of neglected paperwork to get through. It was beginning to drive him mental, and oddly enough, Gavin was beginning to get on Nines’ nerves. Understand that Nines can deal with every annoying, conceivable flaw that Gavin has, but today Gavin had managed to push Nines over the edge. “Let’s go get some lunch. Out of the office.” Nines suggested, placing his pen down and leaning back against his chair, blue eyes looking over at Gavin. “Best idea you’ve had all day.” Gavin agreed a bit too quickly, though it didn’t come as a surprise to Nines. Typical that Gavin would agree to anything that would get him out of doing paperwork. Nevertheless, Nines hadn’t seen Gavin consume anything nutritious since arriving at the Precinct. This would be a great subtle way to get him to consume some sustenance. Gavin drove downtown, a little bit away from the Precinct just so he didn’t feel so closed-in with work; he wanted to enjoy his food not think about work. But as luck would have it, his phone rang. “You gotta be fucking kidding me! Can’t even take a lunch break!” came the grumbled as one hand left the steering wheel to answer the phone, only for his hand to be swatted away. “I’ll answer it, you need to abide by the road laws.” “Bite me. If it’s Fowler, remind him that he does have other fucking officers there.” It wasn’t Fowler. It was an unknown number, but local, according to the area code. “Detective Reed’s phone.” “Is this Gavin Reed?” “Detective Reed is currently driving. May I ask what the nature of the call is?” “I’m Doctor William Kent from the Detroit General Hospital, I’m calling to let Mr. Reed know that his partner is currently admitted under our care.” “Any injuries?” “No, she came through the emergency from fainting.” “Fainting? What was the cause?” “A panic attack most likely.” “We’re on our way.” “What?” Gavin asked as Nines ended the call but continued to hold the communications device in his hands to prevent Gavin from breaking the law of being on the phone while driving. He ought to upgrade his car a little, get a Bluetooth speaker that can accept incoming and outgoing calls. Or invest in a phone cradle at the very least. What was the point in becoming a Detective if you weren’t going to uphold the law? “Y/N has been admitted to the Detroit General Hospital under –“ “Why? What’s wrong? Is she hurt? Did they say anything?” Gavin interrupted in a mild state of his own panic, Nines noticing his stress levels rising a little bit. “Under the emergency of fainting from a panic attack.” Nines calmly finished despite being interrupted. Gripping the steering wheel of the car tightly to the point where his knuckles turned white, Gavin forced himself to keep to the speed limit as he took a left turn instead of going straight ahead to their original location. You weren’t injured, that was his main priority. You weren’t injured. But you fainted. You weren’t pregnant, it wasn’t a hot day, and as far as he knew you didn’t have a fever… It was just… Stress. He knew you were stressing over your studies but he didn’t think it was this bad. Was he really that shit of a boyfriend that he overlooked the clues of your stress levels? What kind of Detective doesn’t pick up on displays of body behavior? Gavin had been oddly quiet since the phone call and arriving at the hospital. Mentally beating himself up for not being as attentive to her as a boyfriend should. He was so caught up in a case that he took to working around the clock in order to bring it close. - “Babe? I gotta stay back. We’ve got a lead and we’re so close.” The dreaded phone call came through one night, but you weren’t surprised or frustrated. He had began coming home late at night so you knew he was working on a case that required a lot of his attention as well as priority of needing to bring it to a close before anything more bad comes of it. “It’s fine, Gavin. Honestly. Just make sure you eat something. Coffee isn’t food.” “You sound like Nines.” “Well maybe you should listen. You’re a good Detective but you’re a shit listener.” You both chuckled at the light teasing before he needed to get back to work. “I love you Gavin.” “Yeah. Yeah… I love you too. G’night Babe.” “’Night.” You both hung up and Gavin remembered how lucky he felt to have someone who understood him and his position. Granted, he didn’t have to stay back and pull an all-nighter, but when he had a lead and he was on a roll, it was best to let him go. His previous partner didn’t understand and he would often come home to a pissed-off partner, yelling arguments ensued… But with you, he came home to a home-cooked meal wrapped up in the fridge so all he had to do was microwave it, sometimes there was a little note on the fridge of microwave door that simply read ‘I love you.’ One time you even put a note on the coffee machine with two large letters, ‘NO’ and a frowny face. Guess you caught on to the fact that he’d come home and have a coffee before bed. A bad habit you were trying to get him out of. “If you want something that tastes sweet but bitter, come have me.” You teased when you first told him off for having coffee so late at night. Precinct nights are fine, you understood the need for caffeine then, but when he’s home – that’s a solid ‘no’. He had tilted his head back and let out a deep, gorgeous laugh. His eyes crinkling from the wide grin he wore on his permanently exhausted features, “Babe, there is nothing bitter about you. I don’t think you even know how to be ‘bitter’.” You definitely won that argument as his hands rested on your hips and pulled them to his. His smiling lips brushed against yours before taking you into a deep kiss, only to pull back ever so slightly, “Mm, definitely no bitterness.” “No bitterness?” “Only sweetness.” Your own lips turned up into a playful smirk, eyebrows quirking up ever so slightly, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him down into another heated kiss, murmuring “I know something else that’s sweet.” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” You breathed against his lips as you began to tug him out of the kitchen. - “Gavin!” A stern voice interrupted the males thoughts as he was still tightly gripping the steering wheel, car idling despite already pulled into a parking bay. Head quickly turned to glance at Nines, blinking as Gavin came back to his surroundings with a sinking heart. “I let her down, Nines.” He sighed out the burdened confession as his hands dropped from the wheel, one hand pulling the gear stick into ‘park.’, the other flicking the engine off before both hands dropped into his lap. Nines LED flickered to yellow as he watched the storm of emotions engulf Gavin, who was staring guiltily ahead at the looming building of the hospital. “You did no such thing, Gavin. I can’t always tell when you’re stressed out until you snap. It doesn’t make me any less of a competent colleague to you, does it?” “Friend.” Gavin corrected but sighed softly as he agreed, “No, it doesn’t. But…fuck!” Nines quietly waited until Gavin’s strew of emotions calmed down. Sometimes the more Nines tried to reason with the Detective, the more angered Gavin became. He found it beneficial to wait until Gavin was calm enough to see reason. “Alright. Let’s go. You comin’ with me or what?” “Only to protect the medical faculty should you lose your temper at them.” Nines made up the half excuse. Partially knowing that if something involving Gavin’s lover ‘girlfriend’, there’s a high percentage that Gavin would lose his patience with the medical team over things he didn’t understand. Such a situation being if they needed to keep her in for a few nights, Gavin might argue about taking her home, not understanding their reason. At least with Nines there, he can easily diffuse any situation before Gavin escalates to an annoyingly level of inconvenience. As they entered the hospital, Gavin made a beeline for the reception desk. “Can you tell me where Y/N Y/L/N is?” Nines caught up to Gavin just as directions were given. She wasn’t too far. Second floor. At least she wasn’t in the opposite wing of the hospital. Taking the elevator to the floor, Nines quietly accompanied Gavin as the two began the pathway to where your room was located. The only times Nines spoke was when he called Gavin’s attention and gestured to the correct room number. As the two walked past the window where the blinds were open, they could see you sitting on the bed, cross-legged but curled in on yourself, staring at the white blanket. Your face void of emotion but also looking like you’re about to burst into tears at any given moment. Nines would be lying if he said that what he saw didn’t affect him somehow. Something tugged painfully at his synthetic heart. Which was odd because he knew his systems were running at 100% perfect stability. The flicker of his LED from the calm blue to a violent red was enough physical evidence to give away that the stoic RK900 android was worried about you. This was not you. You were normally cheerful, bubbly, hardly ever without a smile unless you were deep in thought or focused on a task. Even being given something as simple as a single flower or a cup of tea would cause you to smile for hours. You cherished the little things. Nines thought you were just a clueless naïve human being when he first met you. Little did he realize, at the time, that there was nothing naïve about having a heart of gold. For the heart you carried brought so much joy to Gavin, made him more tolerable in the workplace, and seemingly a better and healthier person. You were a good influence on him. And Nines couldn’t help but notice how everyone welcomed you when you stepped into the Precinct. They were all happy to talk to someone new, get some stories of an adorable domestic Gavin… To put it simply, you were a walking ray of sunshine. Even Nines found himself feeling elated whenever he saw you. Nines stood to the side, allowing Gavin some privacy with you as he entered the room with a gentle rap of his knuckles against the door. “Babe?” ◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇ You lifted your head at the sound of a voice that always felt like home to you. The first words to you spoke was a heartbroken plea, “Gavin? God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” Immediately Gavin was by your side. “Hey, hey. No. No, you’re okay. It’s okay.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, taking your hand and enveloping it in his. Your other hand had a strap around the wrist and finger, attached to a machine as it monitored your pulse rate. You also had two sticky pads to your chest with thin wires popping out from the neckline of your work shirt, monitoring your heartrate.

“You got me out of paperwork so, y’know, thank you.” He murmured playfully, trying to lighten your mood and bring a smile to your face. But it didn’t work and he certainly didn’t expect it to. You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t say anything. Sometimes it was like everything shut down and plunged you in a numb state, and then the next minute you felt like you could burst into tears and drown your soul beneath the floods. Nines watched from the window as you collapsed your head against Gavin’s shoulder, hiding your face in his neck. You didn’t appear to be sobbing but your shoulders sagged in defeat. Gavin’s torso twisted slightly to accommodate the new position as he wrapped his arms around you, murmuring softly in your ear. (“It’s alright. ‘M here. I’ve got you.”) Occasionally pressing kisses against your forehead. It fascinated him the way Detective Reed worked. He was a smart-mouthed asshole at work, probably less since you’ve been with him. Heavy sarcasm. Matching quip for quip with Nines. Dangerously short-tempered. Definitely plays the role of ‘bad cop’ in the interrogation rooms. But with you… it’s hard to see him as the short-tempered grumpy Detective he’s known to be. There’s a new gentle side that Nines knew he had but never saw it. Until now.

There was a knock to the door as the Doctor approached, the nursing staff most likely have informed him that your emergency contacts have arrived. You immediately pulled away and curled back in on yourself as Gavin stood up to shake hands with the Doctor. “Detective Reed, I presume? Doctor Kent.” This time Nines entered the room now that the Doctor was present and blue eyes immediately dropped onto your huddled figure. Your cortisol levels were high, your serotonin levels were low. There was clearly more than just stress, hints of depression perhaps? None of the medical staff seemed to have picked up on that. Mind, Nines wasn’t programmed to read a human body psychologically, so he wasn’t equipped to make such bold conclusions. “I’m relieved to see your unharmed, Y/N.” Nines gently greeted you, trying to bring a softer tone to his usually sharp matter-of-fact tone. You offered a small smile but Nines could see your bottom lip quivering and the smile and gaze immediately dropped, going unnoticed by both Doctor and Detective as the two conversed, Nines bringing his attention back to the conversation. “How’s she been sleeping?” “Uh, decently. She studies throughout the night. Not coming to bed until near midnight.” “What time does she wake up in the mornings?” “5 or 6ish, I guess.” “The healthy amount of sleep an average person should be getting is 8 hours. 7 at the bare minimum. The lack of sleep that, I’m assuming has been ongoing, leaves her in a sleep-deprived state on top of studies for exams. As a Doctor, I know how grueling studies and exams can be. So I know that her lack of sleep isn’t helping in any way whatsoever to her studies. Any other stressful factors in her life? At home?” “Not that I’m aware of.” Gavin looked over at you but you only ducked your head out of his line of sight. He didn’t bother asking about any more stresses, knowing you wouldn’t be up to talking. The Doctor shifted on his feet as he came to a final conclusion. “I would prefer to keep her in overnight under observation. Prescribe a mild sedation to help her get a peaceful night’s rest.” “No!” Your small voice quickly interjected, shooting down the idea as your head snapped up and panicked eyes set upon the Doctor, “I want to go home.” Your E/C left the Doctor’s and fell on your boyfriend, silently begging him. “Please?” It was like a fist hand squeezed at Gavin’s heart and then proceeded to stab it against a sharp knife. Never, in the past two years of being with you, has he ever seen you look so broken before. His gaze dropped from yours and back to the Doctor, “Can I not bring her home?” “It is with my professional opinion that we do keep her in overnight.” “You are within your rights to go against medical advice, Detective.” Nines quietly spoke from the side, having noticed your stress levels increased drastically at the thought of staying here. His cold blue eyes seemed to have softened a little as he looked over at you before, also, dropping his gaze on the Doctor. “If I may interject, it might be beneficial to bring Y/N home. Her stress levels might decrease once she’s in a familiar environment that she deems comforting and safe. I can offer to stay the night to keep an eye on her levels. If they reach critical condition, we can bring her straight back.” And this is why Nines came along. He made a compelling argument against the Doctor whereas Gavin would’ve lost his temper. Nines could already see the panic flash in the Detective’s eyes with the thought of leaving a distraught girlfriend at the hospital overnight. That panic would immediately flicker to anger within the flick of a switch. “Very well. On the proviso that her levels are to be regularly scanned. If there are signs of no improvement, you are to bring her straight back.” “Of course.” It was settled then. The Nurse was called in by the Doctor to disconnect you from the being hooked up to the machines while Gavin walked out of the room (dropping a kiss on the top of your head with a murmured ‘Be right back’) so he could sign the DAMA form. (Discharged Against Medical Advice). Nines watched as everyone left the room, leaving you and the RK900 unit alone. You were still sitting on the bed and your gaze dropped to your hands in your lap. Under the ever-watchful gaze of Nines as his blue eyes studied you for a moment before breaking the silence. “You still seem quite withdrawn.” His tone was quite gentle, surprising you (though you didn’t show that you acknowledged his efforts) and also surprising him. You ducked your head further away from his gaze, your hair finally falling down around your face to obscure your features from view. “I don’t deserve him.” You whispered, your hands beginning to fidget, picking at your nails, rubbing your fingers together, fingernails pressing hard against your skin to the point where you were leaving little crescent moon indents. Your Mother’s words echoing loudly in your head. Unfortunately, your fall to the ground didn’t cause amnesia so you remembered everything about that phone-call. Your fidgeting was a sign that another panic attack was coming on and Nines seemed to have picked up on your stress levels as he came over and sat down on the edge of the bed. His larger hand reaching over and placing it over your fidgeting ones. A gentle squeeze of reassurance was given. “Quite the contrary Y/N. Gavin is the one who doesn’t deserve you. But I know he’s quite lucky to have you. I must say I’m grateful you’ve entered into his life. He’s become much less insufferable.” A very quiet whimper escaped your lips, that if the RK900 didn’t have highly incredible audio sensors, he would have easily missed it. He didn’t fully turn to you, remaining his usual professional self but when he felt two hands grip his tightly, he glanced down. Your fingers were white with how tightly you were holding on to him just as how tightly you were holding onto the lid of emotions that were threatening to spill forth. Ever so slightly, Nines leant forward a little – just a little, but enough for you to know he was silently offering an embrace if you needed it. And you did. You dropped your head into his shoulder and let out a deep sigh. “He could do so much better than me. I’m just…” you struggled to find the right words to describe just how despicable you are compared to many other successful and far more beautiful women out there are. “Perfect.” Nines supplied as his free hand wrapped around your upper arm/shoulder. “You are incorrect to state that he can do better than you. You are the better. Detective Reed is quite out of his league with you.” You merely scoffed at hearing this but the words were comforting to the voice that voice inside your head that was telling you otherwise. There was nothing more Nines could do or say. He wasn’t equipped to be dealing with psychological matters of a sensitive nature such as the situation you’re currently in, so he opted to remain silent and just hold you in this semi-embrace.

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇ Gavin had finished with the paperwork outside and stopped in his tracks as he walked past the window and saw Nines holding you. Kind of. It looked awkward to Gavin but you seemed content in the embrace. There was no pang of jealousy from Gavin at seeing Nines holding you (why would there be? Nines and you weren’t interested in each other like that), however, Gavin couldn’t help but marvel at how attached Nines had become to you. The RK900 became intrigued with your cheery personality and the way your presence seems to melt all the insufferable behavior away from Gavin. Yours and Nines friendship deepened the more you and Gavin hung out together with Nines, getting to the point where Nines would call you for advice either on Gavin or to do with women (what’s the best approach etc.) most likely related to crime cases with female victims since neither he nor Gavin were the best people to deal with emotionally distraught women. Sometimes you’d even ring Nines to ask about Gavin (if he came home in an exhausted or closed-off mood). Gavin would never have picked Nines to be the one to settle with a bond of friendship other than himself (not to sound vain). Phone ringing in his pocket, Gavin stepped away from the window – probably should give Nines privacy since always seems to be allergic to initiating (or participating) in physical interaction that isn’t violent. He didn’t even get a chance to greet the caller when Fowler’s voice immediately screamed down from the other end of the receiver. “Where the hell are you two!?” “Technically on our lunch break.” “Well get your asses back here and do some of that damn paperwork! It’s overflowing on your desk like Niagra-fucking-falls!” Normally Gavin would hit back with a quip that would leave others to wonder how the hell he hasn’t gotten himself fired yet, but instead his voice was oddly calm, probably because he was also in the hospital hallway. “I’m at the hospital. Something personal came up.” The voice on the other end dropped its raised tone as concern laced through, “Everything alright?” “Yeah. It’s just… personal. Gonna need a couple of days. Nines will be back tomorrow.” “S’fine, s’fine. It’s slow here anyway. Just keep me in the loop.” “Yeah… yeah, thanks.” “Take care, son.” With that, Gavin hung up and slipped his phone back in his pocket, relieved that Captain Fowler didn’t pester with questions. It’s not like Gavin took days off anyway – only when forced to by the Captain himself. One of the excused had been; ‘Reed, you’ve been working non-stop and you’re pissing me off. Go home and stay home for a couple of days.’ He walked past the window to see Nines standing by the bed with his hands behind his back, awaiting for Gavin’s return, as though he hadn’t just shared a gentle embrace with Y/N. Stepping into the room, Gavin walked over and placed a hand on the back of your shoulder in a gentle touch, “C’mon.” his voice so soft that if you weren’t in such a state, it would’ve melted your heart. Hands wrapped tightly around your arms as though you were giving yourself a hug, you leaned into Gavin’s side as he guided you out of the room with his arm around your mid-back. Nines following behind as he watched the two of you. You still seem quite withdrawn and quiet. Your levels seemingly decreased since leaving the room and Nines was satisfied he put forth the offer to bring you home. It was silent as they walked out of the hospital and to the car. Gavin occasionally peering over at you but you kept your head down with your gaze on the ground. He felt so out of his depth right now. He was worried about you, actually worried about you. And because he was so worried about you, he worried further that he would say the wrong thing or not be able to help you. He was gentle and kind with you, but he was still the blunt-speaking Detective he’d always been. It didn’t help that this is the first time you’ve ever been this bad. The worst you’ve ever done was breakdown and cry while stressed. All of which can be fixed with hugs and soft murmurs. That was easy. This wasn’t. This required a gentle and fragile approach. Something that Gavin will truly fuck up somehow. Yet the figure following behind them thought otherwise. Had he been able to hear Gavin’s thoughts, Nines would reassure him that he is the perfect person to handle this. Nines has witnessed the true gentleman that Gavin is when he’s around you. He knows Gavin is capable of empathy and sensitivity. Unlocking the car, Gavin opened the door for the backseat behind the driver, his hand leaving your back as you lowered into the seat. He left the door open momentarily as he popped the trunk of the car and pulled out the blanket you made him keep in their in case of emergencies. - “You don’t even have a first aid kit in your car?!” you queried as you and Gavin made your first shopping trip together and were placing grocery bags in the back of the car. “No. Why would I?” “Gavin! You’re a Detective!” “So?” “So…shouldn’t you have one!?…what if someone was in trouble?” “That’s what paramedics are for Y/N.” “You’ve got first aid training, right?” “Yeah they make us do that shit every two to three years.” “Well you ought to have a first aid kit in the back of your car in case of emergencies. It’s only a matter of moments between life and death for some. Paramedics may not arrive in time and you could be the one to make that difference.” Gavin went quiet for a moment as he mulled over the point you made, sighing excessively loudly (which made you giggle because it was one of those defeated sighs where he knew you were right and rather than telling you you’re right, he just sighed it out.) “Alright. I’ll get one if it’ll make you happy.” “And a blanket.” “Why the fuck would someone need a blanket?” “In case of situations like shock, or it’s in freezing cold temperatures.” Another sigh and then a defeated, “Fine. Fine. You win. But you better kiss me for this.” You grinned and did as he asked, leaning over you brushed your lips against before his hand pressed against your lower back, pulling you against him as his lips captured yours. “Mm, that’s what I thought.” He murmured. You could feel his grin through the kiss and you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh against his lips. - Nines ever-observant eyes watched with curiosity as Gavin retrieved the blanket from the trunk of the car, shaking it out of its folded-up state and brought it around to you. It smelt a bit musty from being cooped up in the dark back of his trunk but you didn’t mind as he draped it over you. “Guess you were right, huh?” he smiled softly as he tugged it around your sides. You could only nod. It was like you hit such a numb state. You couldn’t share in his humor, you couldn’t bring yourself to reciprocate his smile. You could only be glad that you did something right for once. With your door finally closed and you were safely situated in the backseat, Nines finally moved from his spot and slid into the passenger seat just as Gavin slid into the driver’s seat. Unlike when he and Nines left the Precinct, Gavin was much more careful in reversing and driving out of the hospital carpark. Mostly because you were in the vehicle. The drive home was quiet. Gavin constantly checking his rearview mirror to keep an eye on you. Occasionally you both made eye contact and you would always look away in shame. He deserved so much better than you. Perhaps your mother was right. Look how you’re inconveniencing him. He’s had to take time off work because of you. “Would you like me to inform Captain Fowler of your sudden absence?” Nines quietly asked, purposefully keeping his voice at a gentle lull so as to not disturb you. “I’ve already called him. Said you were coming in tomorrow though.” Eyes focused on the road, Gavin answered Nines without breaking concentration, his voice equally quiet. “Is that wise? An agreement was made between the Doctor and myself that I would ensure Y/N’s safety outside Hospital Grounds.” “So? S’not like you got it in writing.” “No. I did, however, record the conversation.” “Without his consent? Why, Nines, you devil, you.” Gavin quietly joked. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the statement, deeming an action unnecessary, Nines decided to correct the name-calling, “I’m an android, not a devil. Regardless, that agreement still stands.” “Look, Nines, we’re about to crack this case. Let’s face it, you’ll work quicker when I’m not there. You got Anderson and that annoying plastic prick as backup.” Gavin turned the corner and was only now three streets from arriving home. “Very well.” You heard the entire conversation, they weren’t being quiet in an attempt for you not to overhear, they were being quiet out of respect for your already quiet state. But you did readjust yourself, sinking further beneath the blanket and leaning your head against the window. The hum of the vehicle’s engine, the flickering of the indicator and the quietened toned voices that were usually loud and bickering (mostly Gavin instigating the arguments) was enough to make you drowsy with the heavy onslaught of emotions you were fighting back. ◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇ You hadn’t realized you were home until your door opened and you jerked in surprise. “Shit, sorry babe. You okay?” You hummed softly as you undid your seatbelt and climbed out of the car with the blanket wrapped around you. Immediately Gavin’s arm came around the small of your back and guided you up to the house. “Would you like a cup of tea Y/N? I’ve heard herbal teas are beneficial in calming ones nerves.” Nines asked as he followed up behind you and Gavin, hands behind his back. You only shook your head, “I think I just want to go to sleep.” You muttered and felt Gavin’s hand rub your back in comfort. The small home that you and Gavin shared was always warm and welcoming. Unlike bare yet always messy apartment Gavin had prior to you coming on the scene. There were artwork on the wall, photos in frames displayed on different types of shelving, alongside little ornaments that you and Gavin collected over time. Mostly things you found cute whenever you would visit a market or something. Occasionally something on display would be from Gavin; “I saw this and thought you might like it.” Had been his way of telling you he’s thinking of you and taking an interest in what you like. And because he wanted to spoil you with something you’d like personally rather than just the average gift of jewelry.

Gavin took you down the hall while Nines stayed in the living room, waiting Gavin’s return. “How are you feeling?” Gavin murmured as he shut the bedroom door and walking around you to pull back the blankets of the bed on your side. You merely raised your shoulders in a small shrug. Today had escalated drastically for you; physically, mentally and emotionally. You climbed into the bed, still wrapped in the blanket from the car as an additional comfort. You snuggled down with the blanket being tugged right up around your chin by Gavin. He had no idea what the fuck to do but he could only hope this would work. His hand came down to rest on the curve of where your hip was hidden beneath the blanket as he crouched down on his quarters. His other arm resting above your head as his fingers gently caressed your hair from your forehead. “What the hell happened to you today, Y/N/N?” “I don’t know… stress, I guess.” “I’ve seen you stressed, babe. This isn’t that. There’s something more. Something you’re not telling me. What is it?” Damn him and his Detective skills, able to pinpoint when someone wasn’t telling the truth. You licked your lips in nervousness as you stared at his grey orbs. “Can I ask you something Gavin?” “Yeah. ‘Course.” “Do I…Do I, um… Do I…” your voice wavered as you stammered your words, the remaining question was whispered because you were barely holding on now, “disgust you? Make you ashamed to be with me?” His fingers stopped their ministrations, his face twisting into a mix of disbelief and anger. “What the fuck Y/N?! No! Where the hell did this all come from?” Just like that, the gates to the dam opened and the tears fell uncontrollably from your eyes, your own features twisting into so much hurt that it tugged painfully at Gavin’s heartstrings, already filling with anger and who caused you to be so distraught. A sob broke out and you turned your face into the pillow, away from his gaze as your body violently trembled beneath each sob that tore out. “Shit. Hey, hey, hey…S’alright. It’s alright.” Gavin quickly moved to sit in the small space on the edge of the bed. Everything that had built up for weeks, only for the phone call from your mother to finally be that tipping point for you came bursting out. You felt one hand grip whatever part of you he could reach, and the other caressing the material of the blanket that was covering your body. “I’ve got you, babe. I got you. You’re alright. ‘M right here.” Soft words were murmured as he continued to caress your back in comfort but his efforts hadn’t even managed to calm you down at all. “Babe, can you look at me?” “No….” you wailed into the pillow, curling further in on yourself. Quietly adding an “I can’t!” between sobs. Your cries were really getting to Gavin and he had to find the strength not to explode in anger and hunt down whoever it was that hurt you like this. “’M right here Y/N. I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me.” Gavin’s voice rose a little to be heard over the volume of your cries but still, somehow, remained a gentle tone about it. He barely managed to catch it but he heard it loud and clear, “I’m a disappointment.” “Who said that?” “Everyone! My boss! Customers! My own M-Mom!” Gavin was well aware what your mother was like. What your family was like. They expected too much from you and had you at high standards that were impossible for you to achieve. Not everyone was built to become a surgeon or a firefighter, or even a Detective. At first, he tried to reason with himself that they just wanted the best for you but it was clear that they bullied you – and he swore that sometimes they would do it for fun. He lost all respect for your family and wanted to shield you away from them as best as he could without it falling into the ‘possessive/alienating’ category of being in a relationship. It was part of the reason he asked you to move in with him. Give you an offer of a new life. Hopefully ceasing as much contact with the toxicity of your family. “God-fucking-damnit!” The curse fell past his lips before he could even catch it, startling you and causing you to curl into a tight ball – how that was even possible, he had no idea. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything!” “Fuck. No. I… No, I’m not mad at you… Fuck, babe… I, uh…” His hand hovered midair, debating whether continuing to offer you comfort was the right course of action. He had sent you into such a pleading state with his verbal outburst, he didn’t want to be the one to add to that. “I’m not worth it. Any of it. You deserve better than me.” Without thinking, his hand came down and rested firmly on your shoulder. Sliding off the bed, he resumed his position of crouching down to peer at you since you were curled into a tight fetal position. “No.” he firmly stated. “You are worth everything to me, Y/N. Everything. Don’t you dare think you’re not.” He dropped his head, muttering under his breath, “I’m going to fucking kill that woman.” It was no use. Whatever Gavin said to you, you only cried through his words. You hadn’t meant to be so rude but you couldn’t calm down. This was years and years of your Mother’s verbal abuse coming out. The more you cried, the more Gavin swore bloody murder. It was hard; he wasn’t the type of guy who knew the right things to say. He was far from the ‘ideal perfect boyfriend’ that women seem to desire. But he was doing all he could, and all that he knew how. That also includes staying with you until you fell asleep. Your body stopped trembling but his hand never ceased those comforting motions against your frame. Gentle hushing every now and then emitted past those lips that were known to swear like a sailor and argue with anything that moves. Gavin had since resumed his original position; crouched by the bedside, one hand caressing the hair back from your now tear-stained face, the other rubbing circular motions in comfort – which had now ceased to where his thumb was just gentle caressing while his hand remained firmly against the curve of your hip. He waited until you were asleep before he left, gently tugging the blankets around you, his gaze lingering on your sleeping form – features now relaxed and set into a peaceful slumber as if you didn’t just suffer a massive breakdown. The moment he turned from you, however, there was a murderous rage in those stormy grey orbs of his. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he walked out to Nines who was holding a framed photo of the three of them. This was definitely your doing. Gavin would never place photos up, particularly personal ones. But you insisted, and you really adored the one of you three. It was just a dumb selfie at the beach with your faces squished together in order to fit in the frame. It was silly, and one of the very rare times that Nines stepped out of his level of comfort from his professional appearance to just be ‘normal’. His LED was circling the soft amber glow, occasionally red would flicker through. He was quite concerned about you. Particularly when he heard the heartbroken wails filter through the shut door. Audio components picking up some of the conversation as he eavesdropped a little, however, he decided that this was one of those times where you could not be comforted. A shame that you weren’t under hospital care, they could have given you a sedation to avoid the mess of emotions. Perhaps with the decent night sleep, you could wake up feeling more refreshed and a stronger state of mind to begin the day’s problems. Which is what he hoped would work for you now. Hearing the door click shut, he placed the photo back on the shelf and waited for Gavin to reappear. “How is Y/N?” Gavin didn’t even look at Nines as he pulled out his phone from his pocket and thumb began scrolling through the screen of contacts. “Cried herself to sleep. Fuck all I could do for her.” “Surprisingly her cortisol levels are back to a regular state but there’s been a significant drop in her serotonin levels.” Nines reported as he followed Gavin into the kitchen. Glancing up from his phone in annoyance, wanting to just get the person he was looking for on the phone and rip into them. “What?! English, Nines.” “I was speaking English, Detective. To put it simply, her stress levels are back to normal but she’s taken quite the plunge with her happiness.” “Yeah, no shit Sherlock. You seen the state she’s in? She’s far from happy. She’s hurtin’ Nines. And there’s fuck all I can do for her. And this wouldn’t have happened if her fucking mother kept her goddamn mouth shut.” “I’m afraid I’m not following.” “I couldn’t get much out of her but…” Gavin went on to explain just the real level of nastiness your Mother can be. And whenever there’s a family get-together, they all put their two-cents worth it. And not in a supportive manner either. They were jabs, accusations, insults, remarks… playground bullying that was clearly taking it’s toll on you. “…Which is why I asked her to move in with me. To get her away from all this bullshit as much as I can.” “I see.” “Enough’s enough. This ends now.” Phone gripped in his fist, pointer finger came out and jabbed at the air towards the ground, emphasis his words before he extended his arm out and pointed towards the door of where you were sleeping, “Because the next time this happens, I don’t want to get a phone call saying Y/N’s topped herself.” Nines would have interjected, maybe offered for Gavin to calm down while making an irrational phone call but from what he had just been informed with regarding your family, well… they had this coming. Nines was standing by for… moral support. And to also make sure Gavin doesn’t say something stupid that could jeopardize your relationship with him or his job as an officer of the law. Finally hitting the green call button on his phone, Gavin waited for your Mother to pick up. When the line connected, he offered no greeting and go straight to the point,

“What did you say to her?!” “Nothing that any other Mother wouldn’t give advice to their child.” “You call that advice!? Do you have any idea what you’ve fucking done!?” “I gave her a reality check, Mr. Reed. Get her to pull her head in and do something good with her life.” “No. You gave her a hospital check. You’ve fucked her up.” “Excuse me?” “You heard me, lady. Every time I manage to bring her to where she can finally see her own worth, you bring her right back to the fucking ground again. And this time she landed in the fucking hospital!” Gavin’s finger never ceased the jabbing in midair with every point he made. If only the Mother could see how close Gavin was to losing his shit, perhaps she’d actually shut up and listen to him. “That’s at no-one’s fault but her own.” “No, that’s at your own fucking fault. If you were a decent mother and supported her -” “Y/N has had this fantasy dream since she was a child. It’s time she outgrew it and got a proper job.” “Since when is wanting to own to a business a fucking fantasy?! She can do it. She has the smarts to but you keep fucking her up.” At this point, Nines yanked the phone out of Gavin’s clutches when the Detective’s began to rise and his anger would be to blame for waking you up, which is something that Nines wanted to avoid. You needed the sleep and listening to Gavin scream down the other line of the phone would only stress you out further. Placing the communications device to ear, a much more calmer tone greeted the line, “Good evening Mrs Y/L/N. What my colleague is trying to convey is that one Y/N has successfully surpassed her examinations, she has a solid proposal to put forth to the bank and town-council officials. There is a 15% she will be knocked back, but that is a very low percentile so I highly doubt she will become the failure that you are clearly so worried about. I understand that every parent wishes for their child to succeed. Your concern is admirable but the unsolicited advice is not. I suggest that if you cannot be as supportive of her as her own boyfriend and his work colleagues down at the Detroit City Police Department, perhaps it is best if you minimalize your contact with Y/N. I assure you that your daughter has people in her corner to support her, people that you ought to be wary of the next time you break the law. Because the next time you bring Y/N down again, we will bring you down the next time you break the law, regardless of how small it is. Good day Mrs. L/N.” Just as well that Nines took over from the phone call. Had it been Gavin, he would’ve been screaming down the line with a much worse threat; ‘Break Y/N again, and I’ll break your fucking face.” Gavin temper can get away from him particularly when it involves you. Before your mother could get a word in, Nines hung up the phone and looked over at Gavin whose mouth was slightly agape before they turned into a snarl as he took his phone back. “She got off lightly if you ask me.” “Yes, well the alternative is against the law.” “Tch.” “It would be advisable that you also retrieve Y/N’s phone in case the mother tries to contact her while she’s recovering.” “Fuck. Yeah… Yeah, I’ll do that.” Instead of doing as Nines advised, Gavin grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, some pain relief from the top of the fridge and then rummaged around one of the top drawers in the kitchen. Grabbing a marker and a piece of notepad paper, he quickly scribbled something on it before gathering everything and making his way down the hallway to the bedroom. Quietly opening the door, he made an effort to be quiet with his steps as he set down his phone beside yours so he could unload the rest of his items; placing the bottle of water down, the packet of pain relief tablets in case you awake with a headache or any other aches from today. Lastly, the little note that simply said; ‘Love you X.’

Despite the murderous anger that had consumed him earlier, it all melted when he saw you curled up beneath the covers. One of these days he was going to marry you. If you’ll have him, that is. He can only hope he’d make a decent husband to you. Leaning down, lips softly kissed your temple, gaze lingering on you for a moment, flames of fierce protection flickered around Gavin’s heart, who was prepared to burn anyone whoever dare hurt you like this. Grabbing both phones, he left the room and quietly shut the door behind him. ◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇ He found Nines in the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee made for Gavin, knowing the Detective would be in dire need of something after the stressful few hours. Sitting at one of the barstools at the kitchen counter, Gavin groaned and rubbed his face as Nines took your phone and switched it off completely before sliding it back to Gavin. “Nines? Uh… listen – uh, thanks for everything today. Didn’t mean to rope you in with all this shit.” “You’re quite welcome. I’m just relieved to know that Y/N is home.” “Yeah. Me too.” A quiet moment transpired between them as Gavin sipped away at his coffee and Nines running his regular internal checks with his system. “’M gonna marry her Nines.” The statement came as no surprise to Nines, he was well aware how smitten Gavin was for you, but he hadn’t expected to see the tips of Gavin’s ears turn pink at the statement. Gavin’s face was turned slightly from Nines’ complete view, but Nines knew this was something that Gavin was embarrassed to confess but clearly wanted to open up to Nines about. “I know, Detective.”

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

It was close to 8 months since you successfully graduated from your university. Gavin and Nines were both there to see you accept your certificate, they were both there when you signed documents and contracts for various things. Gavin wanted to be there for every crucial moment for you, and Nines wanted to be there to ensure that you weren’t getting screwed over by what was stated in the contracts and documents.

It was the evening before the bookstore opening and everything was in place. Unfortunately, there wouldn’t be a grand opening of sorts so Gavin didn’t book the day off; having booked quite a number of days off already with wanting to be there for the other stuff in the past few days. So, he decided to take you out to dinner tonight. Or so you thought. He came home early so he could have a shower and get ready while you also had time to do your hair and makeup, wearing the dress that you knew drew him wild. It wasn’t your intention to tease him but you also know he’s been stressed with work but has also been there for you with everything… you knew there was only one way to show your appreciation… but that was for after dinner. You hadn’t even left the house yet, let alone the bedroom when two large hands had your hips pinned against the wall. You let out a small gasp and arched against him with a small hum. His lips trailing from your cheek and down your jawline, “You look delicious babe.” One of your hands rested on his forearm, the other trailed up the nape of his neck, fingers pressing against the smaller parts of his hair. “Dinner first and then dessert.” “I’d rather have you for dinner.” Came the husky murmur against your ear as his hands gripped your hips and pressed his own against yours, feeling the slight bulge in his pants. You forced yourself to hold back a moan, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of how much you really want to cave and give him what he wants. “And not dessert? Shame. Dessert’s always the best part.” You teased, tilting your head sideways for his lips to have better access. He refused to kiss your lips because he didn’t want to mess up your makeup. “Can’t I have both?” he groaned out but forced himself to pull away, especially if he wants tonight to go as planned; which didn’t exactly interfere with your plans but will definitely delay them somewhat. His lust-filled green eyes stared at yours as a finger gently hooked under your chin, thumb very lightly caressed across your dark red painted lips. “You really are fucking beautiful, you know that, right?” Luckily the blush you were wearing covered up the natural heat of your cheeks at his compliment. “I do now.” You murmured softly as your gaze met his and your lips smiled softly. You had no idea how much Gavin worshipped the ground you walked on, adored you in every single aspect of the word. At the same time, he was your entire world to you. He may not look like it, but he was the epitome of a gentleman to you. You’ve been told by so many that he’s an absolute asshole at work (granted he’s calmed down since he’d been dating you) but you just can’t see it. Smiling, you placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and leaned back, thumb wiping away the lipstick residue left on his cheek. “And you, Detective Reed, are quite the charmer.” If he could wink, he would, but he’d given up trying ages ago. Instead, his lips turned up into a smirk and his hand connected with the curve of your ass. “C’mon.” Gavin took you both to the bookstore first. Night was falling and you could only make out the sign by the street lamps; ‘Cozy Book Nook Store’ a name that suited the theme of the bookstore you designed. Even with the curtains drawn, the windows and signage already had a welcoming and cozy tone. Gavin had wanted to see the final product before anyone else when the doors opened tomorrow. Unlocking the door, you flicked some of the lights and let him in. He wondered around a little, taking it all in. Mind, he’s been coming in every few days to see the progress, spending his weekends dedicated to helping you unbox books and placing them on the shelves. But he knows you’ve been working hard nonstop between then and now, adding the finishing touches and such. You quietly stood to the side, hands clasped together in front of you as you watched his reaction. Did it look good? Did you do a good job at setting it up? It was a rustic themed look inside with little nooks lit up by soft fairy lights where people could sit and read. Eventually you were going to incorporate a hot chocolate machine but that also came with a lot of pros and cons, and not quite in budget at the moment. “This looks amazing! You nervous?” he turned as he watched you walk over to him, forcing himself to keep his eyes on yours and not wander down to the curve of your hips as they sway while you walked. “Excited mostly, but yeah, a little nervous.” “You know I’m proud of you, babe. I’m so fucking proud of you.” He glanced around at the store before his gaze landed back on yours. “You achieved all this on your own.” “Well, I can’t take all the credit. You helped too.” “Hm, I think I mostly got in the way.” There was one weekend where Gavin kept slapping your ass as he walked past while you were bent over some books or boxes, a couple of times you both fooled around too. It was basically a wasted weekend because Gavin clearly had other things on his mind. He took your hand in his, lifting it to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand. “You’ve come a long way Y/N. You should be proud of yourself. I am. I am so fucking proud of you, you have no idea. I know things weren’t easy. But I will always be there for you. And I…” Gavin had wanted to say something romantic, something that would sweep you off your feet but he wasn’t capable of doing that. He still struggles to open up on a heart-to-heart level at times. Instead, his free hand disappeared into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a small square box. Before you even had time to process anything, he was down on one knee, still holding your hand while managing to flick the box open to reveal a beautiful gold diamond ring. “I would be even more proud to call you my wife. Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” He had every intention of asking you to marry him regardless of whether you graduated or not. If you didn’t graduate, it would give him the opportunity to whisk you away for a weekend to help forget your troubles, to propose even if it means you don’t become the successful bookstore owner you’ve always dreamed of being. Whether you were an assistant, or at a ‘menial’ job like retail or at Starbucks… he’d still be proud to call you his wife. But when you graduated and bought the building that was only a block away from the Precinct (expect a lot of visits from Gavin, sometimes Nines too, on his lunchbreak), he knew the perfect way to propose to you; When your Bookstore was all set up and ready to open. “I… Gavin are you sure?” “I’m on my knees, asking. I’m pretty sure Y/N.” “No, I meant… my family aren’t exactly –” “I’m well aware of your family and I would really rather not talk about them while I’m trying to ask you to marry me here.” You laughed softly at accidentally leaving him in limbo like that. But your laughter soon turned into tears of happiness as you sobbed out a “Yes.” Being a physically active Detective, he was able to unexpectedly brace himself as you lunged your body against him. Arms coming around his neck while you kissed whatever part of him you could. “Oh my god, yes!” Still holding the box, his arms snaked around your lower back as he held you to him, his lips managing to catch yours in a tender but deep kiss in the middle of your bookstore.

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p-and-p-admin · 3 years

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Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Emma Ficready and welcome to Behind the Quill, it’s wonderful to finally have the chance to chat with you.

Many readers will know you already from works like “Chimaera” and “Sins of the father” for those that don’t, a Trigger Warning from Emma that their works contain graphic violence and abuse and may cause distress to some readers.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? It's actually my previous name! Although very apt for a fiction writer. Though it's pronounced more like Thick - Reedy, I use it over my new name because my partner does not know I'm a fiction writer, and I don't think they'd react well if they found out, it's something they'd struggle with. I'm a long term partial carer for them and they have some mental health issues, so I try to avoid any situations that could be a potential trigger. Plus I like having something all to myself. Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? I think I would say I probably relate to Severus Snape the most. I can relate to how 'damaged' he is, and how much the bullying he endured as a child, affected the adult he became. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) I think I like to read angst the most, as to me that's more real, I don't generally read stories that are entirely fluffy all the way through. I love a happy ending, but I can't cope with total fluff because I find it unrelatable, life isn't sunshine and daisies all the time. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? I don't know if it's old enough to be classed as a classic, but I'd have to say 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee. At what age did you start writing? Very young. I had my first poem published by aged 10. How did you get into writing fanfiction? After being heartbroken at the end of Harry Potter series , I just wanted more and I had been reading fanfiction stories for years. I was constantly looking for stories, I'd get this thought in my head and it was like 'I wonder if I can find a story about this' and when I couldn't I just thought... well why don't I write it? I also find the writing very cathartic. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? I love hurt / comfort fics. I'm a sucker for it. It is something that I represent quite a lot in my fictions, because I can see both Hermione and Severus in that role in their own individual way. Hermione who is constantly a champion and a voice for others, and Severus who is there quietly and thanklessly fighting for others the entire time, I can see both of them naturally falling into those roles of 'saving' someone , without it being out of character. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? I'm not particularly active in any other fandoms, I have always been a Buffy Fan and I love the Inheritance cycle books by Christopher Paolini , though short of reading other fanfictions I am not active in the community like I am with Harry Potter. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? The epilogue, probably the most common answer you get and I know everyone is going to expect me to say because she never should've married Ron, but I can see her marrying him and subsequently divorcing him as being true to Character but I'd change the epilogue because I don't think Hermione would or should ever have settled for being a ministry worker, she deserved so much more. Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? I don't know if this counts but... Severus's Patronus changing after he survives the war. I see the doe as symbolic to the debt he felt he owed her, and I like the thought of the visual change of patronus, representing the emotional change he goes through in accepting the past and moving on now he feels that he's fulfilled his promises. Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? Quiet! I love music, the heavier the better actually, but I have to be in the right frame of mind for it. Otherwise I can sometimes get sensory overload. I hate white noise and things like asmr, I often wear hats or headbands, or have my hood up to block out some noise. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? How long have you got? Honestly that's not an easy question to answer, and it doesn't have one answer. But I could say that some of the stories I find myself reading over and over again are 'Sin & Vice' , 'Another Dream' and 'Lay me low'. There's no way I could write all my favourites down here, but they're the ones I re-read most often. My favourite WIP is probably ' Inkstains' Are you a plotter or a pantser? 90% Panster. I will literally have one small idea, it could be one small interaction, one conversation or one event that pops into my head and I will end up writing a story around that one small thing. My story signs entirely stemmed from the one interaction of Severus handing Hermione the note. I knew I wanted that, and then it was by the pants from then on How does that affect your writing process? It means that I do update my stories in a regular order, so no one story is left too long without an update. I literally sit down, crack my knuckles and go 'right, I'm writing the next chapter of this story now. I write it and post it as soon as it's finished. I write from my phone too, so I apologise for any grammatical or spelling errors, auto-correct is the bane of my life at times What is your writing genre of choice? Have you read my fictions!? Interviewer: Well yeah, but I’m asking because you’ll be new to at least some of the audience. (chuckles) Ha. Sorry. Angst, all the way. I write angst and hurt/comfort, very dark stories as I pull a lot of my ideas from the real life experiences of myself and friends I met in therapy. Writing about trauma is very cathartic for me and helps me process my own feelings about my own history. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? That's a tough one, as there are elements to all of them that are important to me. None of the stories I write quite unfold like I imagined they would, they just sort of take off and I'm along for the ride. I'd be remiss not to talk about Not the Same girl at this point, as that story has probably had the biggest impact for me, the responses it's had and the people reaching out to me, both positively and negatively. I've had some outright hate over that fic, and abusive messages to the point that I almost gave in altogether and I think because of that people will expect me to say Not the Same girl is the fiction I relate to most, and while I do draw a lot from personal experience it's actually Father Mine as that resonates with me on a more personal level, that and an as yet unpublished WIP I have in the works, I think the huge dichotomy of feedback I've had for stories like Not the Same girl though, have both given me a thicker skin to the hate and encouraged me through the sheer overwhelming amount of people who’ve reached out, that find the stories cathartic in dealing with their own trauma, which is gratifying as an author to do that for people, when I myself am looking for that same release in writing it. It's great to have this mutual satisfaction and it's really rewarding. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? I think probably going to refer back to Harper Lee and to kill a mockingbird. The whole premise of telling a story that no one wants to hear or acknowledge, the things that are widely known but rarely spoken about. In “To kill a mockingbird” it's sexism, racism and prejudice against others based on their mental health or intelligence but we still see this so much in daily life, about how much hate and horror and suffering is seen in day to day life, the trauma that so many people have suffered is widely known but swept under the rug because it's easier. No. Hell No. Fuck that. Hiding doesn't change any of it, it may be under the rug but it's still there. People rape other people, people hurt other people, people discriminate based on gender, sexual preferences, skin colour, occupation, people have suffered in life and are damaged by it. Acknowledge it. Don't brush it under the rug, don't ignore it because it's more comfortable for most people, shine the light on it and say. "This is real. This happens. We need to acknowledge it and we need to do something about it" And I think that's shown in my writing , I don't glorify anything, I'm not writing snuff but I don't hide anything either. I make people see this is something that I won't gloss over. Does it make you uncomfortable? Good , it should. If people are uncomfortable , at least they are acknowledging the realness of that situation and not ignoring it. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Nobody knows I write fanfiction, I use a previous name and I very much write for my own cathartic relief. I chose not to share that I write fiction because I'm a carer for my partner, I don't know how they'd react, it could honestly go either way where they'd be absolutely fine or it would trigger them and I'd have to stop, that's the reason I keep it to myself, I'd hate to do something that would mean I'd have to stop writing, not when so many people are so emotionally invested in the stories that I write. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Reviews man. Reviews are the nectar of life, I read every single one and though I don't have time to reply to most, trust me when I say that I treasure each one and appreciate them immensely. I have my social media which I find the easiest way to speak to people , I have my own Page on Facebook and I'm on a number of SS/HG groups. It's hugely important to me to speak to my audience and I really encourage them to get in touch with me, I'm always happy to talk about my work and people have been in touch just to talk about their feelings or emotions that have been triggered by my work and I welcome it all. I mean, I've got people translating my stories them into French, into Russian...it's crazy, I never expected it to be so popular and I am always happy to hear from people. Though I apologise if I don't respond straight away, I have to write on the sly and sometimes real life takes over, so I can't log in for a week or more at a time. What is the best advice you've received about writing? First and Foremost, write for yourself. The rest is just gravy. What do you do when you hit writer's block? I move on to another story. I always have more than one WIP at any one time, If I can't find inspiration for one, I'll update another, or start a jumble of notes for others. There's always something that needs to be written down, even if it wasn't what I had planned on. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Very much so. Almost all the trauma and hurt and situations that appear in my stories are either translated from my own experiences or those of people I know. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? I had a number of stories in the works! When A Cure For Magic is completed, I will most likely post the next one up. I can't give too much away , but the next story is called "Catching Fire" and will be an incredibly dark story, with a lot of morally grey characters. Any words of encouragement to other writers? Just do it. If you want to write it,. write it. First and foremost write for yourself. Don't listen to anyone who's negative ,or unsupportive. I get so many people message me saying things like 'I want to be a writer', but don't know where to start' and to which my answer is you already are a writer. Writing is 99% mental, you have the words, they're there in your head, you just haven't put them down yet. Thanks so much for giving us your time. Any time , it's been great and I'm happy to answer questions any time , thank you for inviting me.

#fanfiction #fanfic #snamione #ss/hg #writing

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soranihimawari · 4 years

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Hi Scores & Taiyaki

Welcome back to part 3 of the Kuroo x 1st person fic. This will be the last installment for now unless I decide to use Social Dummy again to continue the character’s relationship. But first things first, thanks for reading this and major shoutouts to @vbcshenaningansnwritings for reblogging my stories & @kaidasen for encouraging me to post these drabbles/drafts/fics. ::hugs to you::

Taglist: still open

The weeklong camp had come to an end before it had begun. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the girls during the end of camp barbecue. There were a few instances where I had to chase after Bokuto to remind him to not steal so much food from the different grills, but he just laughed it off before running away with a plate full of food for Akaashi. Kuroo on the other hand, was busy keeping track of his protoges, Kenma and Tsukishima (another tall middle blocker from Karasuno) by also doing the same thing. There was a moment before the visiting teams started to pack their belongings where Kenma tugged on my sleeve to pull me aside causing my conversation with the female managers to be cut short. (We had already traded contact info during the many nights we stayed up exchanging stories of their teams antics, so we all decided to text each other later).

“Everything ok Kenma?” I asked when we stopped walking. There was a safe distance between the side of the building where we stood and the other members of the teams.

“Kuroo seems to really like you,” he said in a low tone. I nodded as I kicked the invisible pile of dust on the concrete floor. His console was tucked away in his track jacket pocket, but he continued to play a different game on his phone.

“I have a feeling that I already know,” I replied with a smirk.

“Good. Because I couldn’t get him to shut up about you after you helped Lev out the other day.”

A chortle escaped my lips, “I see. Well, if that’s all you wanted to tell me, then I guess we could head back. C’mon, Karasuno is about to leave now too. Let’s say bye to Shoyo & Tsukki.”

It seemed as though everyone had begun saying their farewells by the time we returned.

***

Summer vacation quickly ended for me as soon as it had begun. Classes were starting again the following day, so naturally by the time I had arrived back home, I greeted my parents before calling my close friend, Riza.

“Kenma confirmed to me that Kuroo does like me and we may or may not have spent more time alone after lights out,” I explained collapsing on my mattress.

“Oh ho ho,” Riza chuckled on her end of the line. “So, the tom cat finally came around to liking you? That’s terrific. All of his fans are going to be heart broken when you guys go out on your date next Saturday.”

“I know. I am not looking forward to receiving those glares from his exes though.”

“Meh, you’ll be fine. They were the ones who let him go with the exception of Angela though. Those two always fought, but I am glad you two never really fought. Well, maybe except in trig when you both arrived at different limit answers, haha.”

“Of course you’d remember how well he took being wrong, Riz.”

“Mmhm. I gotta back my friend up whenever he assumes he is the smartest in the room. Anyways, I’m gonna go prepare for bed. See you in class tomorrow.”

“Okidokie. Meet at the convenience store at seven?”

“I’ll be there. Later Kat.”

***

The days seemed to have blurred together, but with both Kuroo and I heavily invested in our separate clubs outside of school hours, we barely had any time to discuss finalizing our plans for our arcade date. On Friday night before our date, I received a call from him. He seemed a bit stressed out, more so than usual, but that was to be expected since the team had a qualifying match scheduled in a few days time.

“Coach is making us have an extra practice on Wednesday and that’s when this chem lab is due. There’s also this make up test I have to do for history and I’m falling behind in trig since I can’t really find the time for homework. Kat, I don’t know what to do.”

I was seated at my desk in front of my computer screen in the middle of typing an essay for English class. It was a three to five page paper discussing the themes of Westernized fairy tales which I stopped writing because clearly, Kuroo needed someone to snap him back into focus.

“Take a deep breath first,” I heard him inhale and upon his exhale, I continued. “Good. Now, listen to me carefully Tetsuro: meet me in the library after class on Monday. Bring all your materials for the classes you fell behind on. I’ll make copy of my notes and bring a pen to correct your mistakes on the trig quizzes since you got an 80% last time.”

“Our second date is a study date, huh?”

I chuckled. “It can be. Let’s survive the first one, yeah? The forecast called for rain tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully we won’t get caught in it on the way back.”

***

I arrived first to the arcade around 17:50. I was dressed in the best casual attire I could think of: navy wide leg pants, a white dress shirt paired underneath with a lemon yellow camisole. My shoes were black rain boots and my hair was left down. Kuroo came a few minutes later dressed in an all black street ensemble attire that made me think I was a bit out of his league (more so than before).

“You did not have to come here looking like an idol star,” I teased when he reached out to hold my hand.

“And you didn’t have to either,” he said with a smile. “Let’s go inside to play Street Fighter II again, yeah?” I nodded.

A few hours passed us by as we kept reloading the game cards playing different arcade games ranging from fighting games, TETRIS, and music games (like JuBEAT FESTO). Kuroo’s cat like smile made me more competitive when he failed the last song of JuBeat.

“Move aside, lemme see if I can beat your score sir,” I mused. I swiped my card and selected my first song and the speed. The tiles began to glow with the first few notes coming from the machine. There were a lot of encouraging words coming through the screen: “Combo!” “Perfect” “100 note streak!”

“By the time my round ended, the title card illuminated with a new hi-score slot waiting for my initials to be put in.

“If I wanted to date Kenma, I would have just taken him here,” Kuroo muttered under his breath. “Well, you win. I bow down to you, Kat-chan. Queen of JuBEAT FESTO.”

“You don’t have to, but maybe we should go? It’s almost 20:30 and I don’t want to stay out too late. Let’s go grab a bite to eat, yeah?”

There were a few food cart vendors located down the street from the arcade. Their carts were lined up against the entrance way of an old park where there once was a sunflower field. Years of urbanization caused the flowers to no longer be planted, but in their stead, a field of peonies were grown. I took a seat on one of the benches facing the flowers. A warm smile graced my lips as I leaned down to pluck one off the field.

“Such a pretty flower for a pretty date,” Kuroo’s voice made me yelp in surprise. He cackled as he extended one of the taiyaki he bought toward me. “Here, I got you a taiyaki.” I took one of the fish shaped pastries an thanked him. We raised our fishes to each other and began to munch on them; we sat there for about half an hour making the time pass by playing a question game with each other.

“Your turn,” I reminded Kuroo with a nudge of my elbow. “Ask me anything you like.”

“Alright,” Kuroo replied. “Hmm...I got it! Kat, how many dates do we have to go on before I ask you to be my girlfriend?”

I leaned forward and folded my arms over my thighs, a hum drawn out into the air. I made direct eye contact with the peonies, the one I plucked remained on the bench. He had a puzzled emotion worn on his face.

“As many as it takes for me to believe you actually like me. Kuroo,” I swallowed thickly. “You’re someone who would break up with a girl over the fact that they bore you or that they didn’t understand your commitment to your team as captain. It’s going to take some time for me to believe your emotions toward me are genuine. Sure, we had fun at training camp, but I need you think this through. Are you sure you want to be with me?”

At this point, Kuroo stood up and immediately crouched down in front of me. The summer breeze made his hair dance in the wind along with the blooms behind him.

“I’m sure,” he replied. A hand of his combed a few pieces of my hair behind my ear; he grabbed the plucked peony blossom and placed it behind my exposed ear. “See? You do look more glamorous with it in your hair. C’mon, I suppose it’s time for me to walk you home.”

He pulled me up off the bench and placed a light kiss atop the crown of my head.

We arrived at the fork in the sidewalk where we would have originally had split up before, but instead Kuroo escorted me to the front courtyard of my apartment complex building. He held my hand the entire walk over, telling me more stories of his childhood with Kenma up until the time Kenma turned twelve and they climbed a tree to rescue a kitten.

“And that’s how Kenma had his first pet,” Kuroo said, a triumphant smile over his face.

“So it seems,” I replied, a shortened giggle fell out of my mouth. He raised my hand to his lips, thanking me for a wonderful outing. His thumb traced over my knuckles lightly. I removed the flower from behind my ear before offering it to him. He pushed it back toward me before he tilted my chin up to meet his gaze.

“Keep it, sweetheart,” his voice told me. He leaned down again and kissed me, slowly to quiet my irrational fears of not being wanted by him. One kiss was all it took for both of us to come to terms with our outlook on each other. My eyes fluttered open, my hand still wrapped around the peony’s stem. He kissed my cheek when I wasn’t looking directly at him.

“Go on upstairs. I’ll leave after you go,” he told me in an hazy tone. He squeezed my hand gently.

“Thank you for today,” I began as I turned around to open the door of the lobby. “See ya at school next week.”

***

About a month and half after our first date, Kuroo and I found ourselves curled up on the couch in his living room with a Ghibli film playing in the background. His arm was resting comfortably against my waist, drawing small circles on my skin. I turned my eyes away from the tv to look up at him before I decided I was done watching the film. I committed the minute details of his face to memory.

He cocked his head to the side with a curious brow lifted toward me right up until the moment I initiated a kiss. Kuroo did not object to this sign of affection pouring from me. His hand moved away from my waist to my back, then I felt his arms loop behind me to pull me over his lap. I found myself wrapping my legs around his waist as my hands made their way on to the fabric of his shirt prior to me holding on to it for balance as he began to work on deepening our kiss. I found myself smiling into every kiss he gave me, stealing every ounce of air he had inside his lungs. He rested his head against the crook of my neck, his breathing uneven.

“Three years of wondering what it would feel like to have you alone like this,” his voice reverberated gently against my skin causing a blush to dance across my face. Slowly, I felt his lips imprint open mouthed kisses up the side of my neck. He was gentle with me at first, much like the first person to kiss me like this. My breath was caught in my throat and it seemed he didn’t care as a whimper escaped my lips in anticipation not knowing where his lips were headed to next. Damn this boy, my inner thoughts cursed at him.

Each kiss gained momentum the closer his lips grazed against my own. In the past couple of dates that we had had, I mentioned off hand to Kuroo that if he were to kiss my neck, even playfully, I’d crumble beneath his touch. Smooth ass mother fucker, I thought.

“Shh...” I hushed him within a few seconds when I felt his one of his hands disappear under the back of my shirt and the other stabilized the back of my neck. I’d like to think he counted how many layers of clothing there was between us, but his coarse hands roamed my body curious to know how soft my skin was.

He pushed me forward, causing me to crash on to his demanding lips again; his hands were wrapped around my waist and mine laced lightly around the back of his neck, giving me more support to push myself into him more. His mouth was compressed against mine, yet this kiss remained as light as we had intended it to be. We sat like this for a few moments before our lips began to move rhythmically over the other, the pace being set by him.

I exhaled through my nose, not wanting to let go of him. There was an overwhelming feeling of mutual relief toward each other finally seeing what we could be. Relief raced out of hearts for a moment only to be replaced with this sense of combined eccentric panic, and lust. More, I thought. I need more of this kind of physical affection.

Kuroo’s hand on the small of my back travelled higher in an attempt to pull my shirt over my head, to which I shook my head in agreement.

“It’s too hot,” I said, lifting the fabric over my head and tossing it to the side. Kuroo’s eyed my exposed top half through running his hands up my sides. My chest rose and fell with every touch his grazed my skin.

“I concur,” he said. I shrugged before I leaned down, hands pressing his shoulders back on to the back of the couch. From there, I began my barrage of open mouthed kisses down his neck, leaving bite marks behind his ear. Hearing him hiss an exasperated sigh when he pulled me toward him causing me to stop.

My hair hung over my shoulders as Kuroo tilted his head up again to press his forehead against mine. He and I exchanged a few words making sure the other was doing ok; most of our replies were done in a hummed tone of the “yes,” variety.

Our heart rates needed to return to a normal pace prior to us continuing where we had left off. Kuroo’s playful shine in his eyes and smirk told me everything I wanted to know. I caressed his cheek when I pulled away, the inside of my palm warm from his flushed face.

“Kat,” he breathed my name so effortlessly it caused me to stop stroking the side of his face.

“Hmm?” my vocal chords vibrates at the sound of my name. “What is it?”

Suddenly, I took note of how Kuroo’s eyes were trying to refocus themselves on my face; pupils dilated meaning he felt the rush of serotonin enter his system. He shifted his weight underneath me and whispered something along the lines of “you’re staying over tonight,” in my ear to which I nodded. I didn’t have time to wait since I felt him stand up with his hands under my thighs.

“W-woah!” I said, stifling a laugh when I moved my arms around his neck for balance. “Where are you taking me?” As if I didn’t already know the answer. I arched my eyebrow up at him with a teasing expression.

“My room,” Kuroo answered, his eyes crinkled with a smile. “To continue where we left off kitten.”

#haikyu!! fiction #kuroo x 1st person pov #part 3 of 3 #another miniseries is done!

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uraharabyakuya · 5 years

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Rant: ChenQingLing is a disgrace.

Disclaimer: this is a rant, and it’s antiCQL. So those who like it, pls ignore and refrain from posting your counter arguments to me. I just want to vent my displeasure of this live action and only welcome those who agree with me to comment and share.

Being a massive fan of MDZS, I just have to get this off my chest. I am sick of all these brainwashing and gaslighting by so called “fans” of the original work who are singing high praises for this shambles of an adaptation.

The live action series should be ashamed of themselves because they’re simply using the popularity and following from the franchise and totally disrespecting the core of the story and characters. Before these nincompoops come and wax lyrical about adaptations being different from the source material, there is an obvious difference between a genuine adapatation to screen whereby the major plot lines are maintained, the core stories are maintained, the character histories are maintained and superfluous or extrapolated materials are minimised, also where there are obvious gaps of non-explained or non-elaborated space only is where things are created and imagined. Whereas a rubbish excuse of an adaptation is what CQL has done. Because what it did was to use the characters names, take the fantasy world setting and cool elements, and then totally walk over the storyline by completely meshing and mixing and stirring everything and everyone into a big pot of dog poo. And testament to them just using the franchise’s popularity to milk money and attention is by completely unashamedly BL-bait with all the WangXian interactions including many that are either not in the book or extras, or not in the right context or scene, or completely nonexistent and made up. And then the shameless tag that it’s just a platonic bromance since censorship in China wouldn’t allow this. Right.

So let’s talk about the plot. So WWX is not some grandmaster of demonic cultivation since it has already been going on behind the scenes with Xue Yang casually helping WRH practise some hardcore demonic cultivation and the fact that the Tiger Stygian Amulet is just some relic that’s been around for ages. Nothing to do with WWX’s ingenuity and talent for harnessing the resentful energy stored in that sword found at the TuLuXuanWu cave. Then apparently the TianNu statue that comes to life was already something that he and LWJ had encountered before in their youth whilst they go along to hunt for the Amulet pieces. And then WQ apparently is able to influence the zombified with a flute like instrument anyway. And then apparently Lan Yi and WWX’s mum knew each other cos nothing spells more destined love than when your respective previous generation also had some sort of bond and connection. And the bunnies were really reared by her so not a sweet little homage of the Wangxian love. And the forehead ribbon is not just ugly aesthetics wise but LWJ can’t decide if he’s steadfast about it or he is nonchalant about taking it off and tying it onto WWX’s wrist even when he was not intoxicated. And then WWX was already using some unexplained paper puppet powers which was apparently not seen as demonic cultivation in his youth to mess about, and he apparently could manipulate LWJ quite easily to get him drunk. And when things that are not canon like LXC and JGY they just had to make their first meeting so obviously charged with innuendo. And then WQ since the actress invested in the series, had to be important, so she is given some all so noble duty of being the good guy in the bad camp who is doing stuff that she doesn’t want to but she is still good and should be liked though she’s still a bad guy nonsense trope. So she goes to GuSu to get the amulet piece for WRH, because only when he gets the piece will she be able to somehow bring WN away. And WN was a great enough character both alive and dead as the Ghost General with his design from the source material, but no, they want to embellish it that he’s afflicted with some condition that makes him susceptible to being possessed and taken over by evil spirits. Wtf. And naturally, WQ should somehow capture JC’s eye, because why would JC want to be infatuated with a Wen person when eventually they cause the demise of his parents and his clan. But hey maybe he’d be so selective thinking WQ didn’t do it though so that’s okay. Like wtf.

Let’s talk about the actors. I like WWX’s look, the actor has a good face, he “looks” like a WWX, but damn his acting is bad. And damn, he cannot do the duality of WWX, because he does not exude that dangerous aura and the strength and power that WWX naturally possess because of his natural abilities, evident even before he was a Yiling Patriarch, much less if this guy wants to play a convincing Patriarch. He does all these ogling of LWJ from the get go since they met, cue all the cheap BL baiting. And he pouts and stomps his feet and acts cute the whole time. WWX is cheeky, naughty, devious, mischievous, but not girly, not a sissy. Wtf. Then we move onto LWJ. So that guy is some boy and heartthrob, but damn he has neither r looks nor the presence nor the acting skills to touch LWJ. WTF. The moment he appeared he made me want to slap LWJ, want to cry for his ru8ning of his whole imagery. The action sequence is so wooden, and the expressions are so constipated or dead. Everybody else looked bad. The actors I think chosen right for their looks were WWX, WN (alive version, the ghost general version has such awful make up it makes me cringe), NHS, JGY, XY (he apparently got to get a good looking dude to play him who also looks kind of evil and yet looks like an anime character walked out of the anime) and maybe JC (that’s because aesthetically he actually can be considered good looking and that is ridiculous because he’s better looking than the Twin Jades of Lan in this). LXC and his butt chin hurts my eyes. WRH looking like some voodoo witch doctor gone drag in his evil volcanic dungeon lair makes me want to throw an encyclopaedia at someone’s head violently. NMJ looking like a complete perverted uncle complete with hentai stache is just blasphemous. JZX just looks weird, no better way to put it.

So onto the make up, costumes and props. Make up is so shit that you can see up close where spots are done smoothed over or powdered down, the gore or the effects of veins and wounds are so fake and so obviously drawn on it looked like a 6yo went to arts class and took some marker pen and crayon and created these outcomes. The props are so cheap that the ghost hand looks like a rubber Halloween glove you get from the prop shop around the corner, the deity binding ropes look exactly like rough ropes. The Emperor Smile bottles look so tiny and white that it looks more like medicine bottles on ancient times than an expensive alcohol bottle. Where’s the YunMeng silver bell, the jade piece on LWJ’s robe. The forehead ribbon looks so cheap because it’s too thin and the stupid metallic piece in the middle is ridiculous. Why can’t they just stick with the original to have the silk cloth with the cloud patterns embroidered on the cloth. And the clothes, Lan sect is supposed to be ethereal, so why are they dressed in such plain white and tight clothes. They should have the flowing sleeves, the light blue tones, and the cloud embroidery. YunMeng needs to have their original violet colour, the Wen Sect does not need to be full body red like they’re getting married (see WQ), and the Jin sect needs their golden robes with the centrepiece of the JinXinXueLang peony, not some watered down white with yellow hues and nothing else to show for it. And what is with LWJ’s hair do and hair piece, it has such a disgusting look to it and it doesn’t look right. Do the bun properly and the accessory properly, not some weird plop of hair right in front on top of his head and then put a flat piece of elaborate metal on top of it.

I had been looking forward to seeing the epic ness of MDZS brought to the small screen. I had been completely prepared for changes in terms of the romance line being cut, but I fully expected the main storylines to be followed and perhaps elaborated on. Not to be chopped and changed and meshed up and violated like they’ve done so. And with the ability to get some really lovely natural scenery and some of the sets that actually look good eg the Lotus seat in Yun Meng was elaborate and intricate. So why won’t they invest in the right places like making the make up perfect, getting the costumes and looks correct, getting actual actors who can act cos even if they don’t look aesthetically good enough but if they’re solid actors it would flow so much better, and more vitally, why don’t they retell and elaborate on the existing epic storyline as it is! That’s the core of it, the MDZS storyline and major scenes are so awesome wit( their backstories, no changes need to be made, but merely elaborated and extrapolated on, not to be comepltely vandalised and violated. My heart breaks as for the sake of my love for MDZS, I’ve watched 8 eps and had to stop and restart so many times because of how jarring, unnatural, awkward, infuriating, irritating and frustrating the factors above contribute to my viewing. And now the greatness of MDZS as an original source material will forever be tainted by the sacrilege that is the Untamed.

#mdzs #the untamed #wwx #lwj #modaozushi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #chen qing ling is a disappointment #mo dao zu shi anime #mo dao zu shi audio drama

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healingreceding-gums-blog · 4 years

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Healing Receding Gums

Over one-half of Americans possess some type of gum disease (additionally called gum disease). The good news is, if you catch your gum disease early enough you may cease the progress as well as turn around damages.

Gum disease is hard to treat and turn around without correct information and a lot of what the majority of people have actually been actually said to actually does additional damage than really good. For more info about Can You Heal Receding Gums?

It is actually time to prepare the file directly.

You can only cease the progression of gum disease along with a mix method consisting of three essential elements:

A gum disease dealing with diet regimen Qualified care Suitable oral hygiene

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These are provided in order of importance in the long-term.

The complication with addressing gum disease is actually that there is actually a considerable amount of misinformation available on how to effectively avoid as well as reverse it. A a large number of the false impressions relate to dental health, so I'll for a while touch on those.

Initially, are sure you actually have good oral health habits as well as aren't inadvertently causing your gums any sort of danger. Inspect the listed here-- some may startle you.

You ARE using added soft bristles You ARE swapping out your tooth brush every three months (Rages hone as time go on). You aren't brushing too tough (This is actually a huge one-- I usually suggest that my clients brush with their opposite non-dominant hand to prevent this). You may not be making use of Listerine or solid antibacterial mouthwash.

While dental care is crucial in fighting gum disease, diet regimen is actually a lot more effective as well as must be priority primary.

If you may not be obtaining the correct nutrients to sustain a robust body immune system you can have excellent dental habits and also still end up along with gum disease. Meals should be thought about medication and also its impact on gum disease is no exception.

Ways To Heal Receding Gums

Hippocrates claimed it over 2400 years earlier, "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy meals.". Trick nutrients for combating gum disease.

A well-balanced body system typically combats gum disease. There are actually nonetheless some nutrients that are actually particularly helpful. The trick is actually to consume foods items that nourish your oral microbiome. To make sure you possess the appropriate nutrient building blocks within your diet, see to it you adhere to the standards below.

Goal to consume foods items that are higher in:.

Co-enzyme Q10 (CoQ10)-- CoQ10 is actually an antioxidant located throughout the body as well as needed to have for proper cell functionality. Researches have located that folks with adequate CoQ10 are actually much less likely to possess gum disease. Actually, if you have sufficient of this antioxidant and you likewise have gum disease, your CoQ10 levels in your gums will certainly increase in concentration. This can decrease the development of periodontal inflammation. Collagen-- When you have gum disease, your gums are going to restructure the tissue makeup to cope with the irritation-- this leads to bovine collagen degeneration. To fight this, you'll require to consume foods along with lots of bovine collagen.

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Catechins-- These are disease fighting phenols as well as antioxidants. Catechins have shown to become successful in managing gum disease via inhibiting harmful bacteria and preventing gum swelling. Vitamin C-- Studies have found that gum disease is associated with low Vitamin C levels. By enhancing your Vitamin C consumption, you can easily enhance your body immune system so it can battle the disease triggering microorganisms and also aid reproduce your gums. Additionally, you need to have Vitamin C for bovine collagen maturation, which assists maintain the periodontal ligament and other cells well-balanced. Beta Carotene-- Studies have actually found eating meals higher in beta-carotene support those along with gum disease cure better. Beta carotene is actually a provitamin your body system turns into Vitamin A, which reduces inflammation. Omega-3s-- Omega-3s are actually recognized for their anti-inflammatory residential properties and also our physical body's need them for a well-balanced body immune system. One research located that omega-3 intake was vice versa linked with gum disease.

You require to enhance your consumption of each of these important nutrients if you desire to tackle your gum disease head-on. On the contrary, you'll sustain your oral microbiome much more successfully if you consume much less damaging meals.

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To lessen the effect of gum disease you'll wish to starve the poor microorganisms through doing away with:.

Sweets (negative bacteria likes sweets). Honed carbs.

Now that you know the very best factors to invest your body system for dealing with gum disease, listed here is actually a more detailed consider the leading 12 meals that contain these essential components. The 12 Best Foods to Eat if You Have Gum Disease.

1. Almonds and also seeds high in omega Sixes.

These feature macadamia almonds, pistachios, sesame seeds. Omega-3s are actually essential to a versatile, nutrient-dense diet. Omega-3s are excellent for you considering that they are anti-inflammatory yet likewise have an inverse partnership with gum disease. These nuts are terrific sources of nutrients also.

2. Salmon or various other fatty fish.

Oily fish such a salmon, herring, as well as mackerel are actually terrific resources of nutrients as well as are high in omega-3s. As a result of their oil material, they have anti-inflammatory results on the physical body as well as are fantastic for the immune system.

3. Grass-fed meat.

Since our company do not eat organ chickens like our ascendants carried out, we require to be diligent about our bovine collagen consumption. Grass-fed meat has collagen, which is terrific for battling gum disease.

Best Way To Heal Receding Gums

It's likewise higher in omega-3s, which is just one of the factors plenty of health masters point out the feed of the cow. Grain fed beef is actually loaded with omega-6s, antibiotics, and also various other inflamed, disease resulting in components. It is actually merely ineffective to consume grain-fed meat anymore.

4. Chick.

Chick includes CoQ10 and bovine collagen, which are actually each great in the match versus gum disease. Don't miss the skin either. Lots of people discard consuming the chicken skin since it is actually high in fat deposits, but chicken skin layer is actually packed with collagen.

5. Bone brew.

We don't eat the whole creature like our team when carried out, which implies our experts're losing out on essential nutrients like collagen. Yet you can easily get additional of this nutrient in your diet plan with bone broth. Bone tissue brew is actually obtaining level of popularity as a health superfood given that it is actually a delicious way for our company to acquire even more of the nutrients our team lose out on in the present day globe.

6. Shiitake mushrooms.

Shiitake mushrooms contain lentinan, which is actually a carbohydrate merely discovered in this particular type of mushroom. Lentinan attacks the dangerous gum disease triggering bacteria while leaving various other bacteria alone. Shiitake mushrooms are actually likewise strongly anti-inflammatory as well as have been actually observed in research studies to lessen numerous inflammatory pens.

7. Cabbage.

Cabbage is stuffed with Vitamin C which acts as an antioxidant in the physical body. Vitamin C has been actually vice versa linked with gum disease. Cabbage likewise delivers tons of other nutrients. Broccoli contains Vitamin B1, magnesium mineral, iron, calcium, niacin, as well as selenium. Any sort of nutrient heavy diet regimen ought to contain broccoli.

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8. Reddish as well as environment-friendly bell peppers.

Higher in Vitamin C, red and also green alarm peppers are a wonderful add-on to a gum disease fighting diet. One cup of red bell peppers contains over 300% of your everyday highly recommended allotment of Vitamin C. While environment-friendly alarm peppers contain over 200% of the Vitamin C you require in a day. In fact, both reddish as well as environment-friendly alarm peppers have extra Vitamin C than an orange. Incorporate more alarm peppers to your diet for an effortless and delectable boost in Vitamin C.

9. Sweet whites potato.

Pleasant whites potato are an exceptional resource of lots of nutrients but they created this checklist particularly for their beta carotene web content. Beta carotene is actually a necessary nutrient in the fight versus gum disease. It lessens irritation as well as delivers your physical body with the aspects it needs to have to develop Vitamin A. Sweet whites potato additionally contain high degrees of Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, and Manganese.

10. Environment-friendly herbal tea.

Environment-friendly herbal tea is higher in catechins. Always remember catechins? Those was just one of the crucial gum disease fighting nutrients provided above.

Certainly not merely is environment-friendly tea higher in catechins, but it's also been found to possess an inverted partnership along with periodontal disease. One research study that examined 940 men located there was an inverted affiliation in between green herbal tea usage and also gum disease. Indicating those that consume alcohol more environment-friendly tea have a lesser odds of cultivating gum disease.

Is There A Way To Heal Receding Gums?

11. Cacao.

Cacao is likewise higher in disease-fighting catechins, which aid stop gum disease. Cacao is actually terrific for your teeth generally due to the fact that it battles cavities, plaque, and also dental cavity. Materials in cacao are actually a lot more reliable at battling dental cavity than fluoride. Cacao likewise includes a compound referred to as CBH, which sets your polish.

To eat cacao that's in fact great for you as well as certainly not loaded along with sweets, opt for a raw dark chocolate that is 70 percent or even additional. Try to find a reduced sugar material too. Cacao and also cacao differ in handling. Cacao have not been exposed to high heat energy, is actually still uncooked, as well as still has it is actually 300+ compounds, a lot of which are actually good for your health.

12. Probiotic consisting of foods items.

These feature kefir, cabbage, as well as kimchi. Probiotics sustain the really good micro-organisms in your mouth and also decrease gingivitis and also plaque buildup. Fermented foods items are additionally thought to restrain the development of oral pathogens.

One study located those who drank fermented dairy products benefited from protective impacts against gum disease-- though it wasn't crystal clear whether it was due to the boost calcium or the probiotics (or each!). Quit gum disease in its paths.

How To Heal Receding Gums?

The most ideal item versus gum disease is proper knowledge of just how it operates and also what could be carried out to prevent it. Now that you understand what to eat and how to handle your teeth as well as gums-- the right way-- I hope you feel a lot better outfitted to stop gum disease in its own paths. Whether you're trying to eliminate gum disease or even only avoid it, the advise in this write-up will be beneficial to you.

Allotment this short article along with a buddy or loved one that's still observing old dental cleanliness suggestions. Our team currently recognize that diet is actually the 1st line of self defense against gum disease and also it's important to spread the word!

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roseate7 · 5 years

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I was gonna lead off with this about how hockey fandom only just now rising up to protest the Capitals’ long-proposed White House visit after today’s news but uhhhh… I can’t actually see anyone protesting yet lol. Maybe folks were at school and work? Internet outages? Who knows. It’s awfully quiet. As quiet as it has been since the many hits about this visit started coming immediately following the Caps SC win.

Anyway, even if hockey fandom does eventually rise up with equal outrage to the Penguins’ visit I’m sorry to inform you: you’re too late. Your time to begin started a long while ago. I should know because the links I’m about to sprinkle in this post like damning pixie dust are from my long wait for fandom’s political outrage to resurface.

So let’s just run through the usual old acrobatics to try and excuse the utter lack of equal outrage and protest against the Caps that there was toward the Pens. This is also a handy c+p guide for anyone who sees any variation on these excuses.

“Sid and Ovi: different right? Doesn’t that make Ovi better? Come on, help me out I jumped to him and the Caps because I saw he’s super gay with Backstrom and was promised he’s a champion for the gays because Holtby something something!”

Sidney Crosby’s attendance at the WH is no more or less wrong than Alexander Ovechkin’s. It’s way more complex wrt Ovi’s politics, sure. But no, no different in terms of an adult public figure making the decision to do this visit. Also, folks really need to read up on Ovi before calling him their lesbian uncle or whatever the fuck I am forced to see sometimes. Especially when you consider this unneccessarily awful tweet.

“But what if my Liberal White Boy doesn’t go in the end? That means he’s Totally Better, right?”

Nope!

The fandom line taken with the Pens from day one of them being offered an invite to the WH was that by not taking a directly opposing stance from the start, they were to be rightly condemned. Which was correct, and still was correct when some of the Caps said they were excited about a visit and others tried to deflect the topic. And it was still correct when this photo was taken with a Trump holding the Cup (and video).

The Caps already missed their chance at not being condemned, just like hockey fandom has already failed at repeating - what are now shown to be entirely performative - political protest. Devante Smith-Pelly is the only Caps player who deserves credit for protesting this visit. There’s one white Caps player to “join” Smith-Pelly: Brett Connolly who, months later, saw what bad PR it would be to visit suddenly announced he wouldn’t attend, is a flop. No one cares. Every player who towed the “it’s a team decision” or “we’re gonna wait and see how we feel” bullshit - which is all of them barring Smith-Pelly - officially lost their chance at making a valid protest. (And let’s not all play dumb about the fact that Smith-Pelly was put up for trade interest this season, and his situation now.)

I don’t give a crap if Holtby or another “gay icon” still bails last minute. He’s already guilty by demurring the point and refusing to take a stance at all. That’s how morality works, just like y’all decided last year with guys who aren’t your gay icons. If Pens fans had to go through the stages of grief in condemning them even before the visit took place, then so does everyone. I don’t give a damn how much your straight white man dances to your favourite liberal tune for praise and adoration. Current NHL initiatives have a long way to go before they effect real change. I’m not a gay who’s here to divert a single fucking second of my community’s hard work and celebration to allies. If they’re real allies then they won’t need the praise anyway.

And fandom’s choice to fail in addressing or reacting to the many instances of the Caps proving their lack of moral backbone - and their frequent excitement and honour - over this visit, is the definition of performative morality and politics.

“But I want to use black people in other sports to try and further my own wrong opinion like this guy!”

Well, unfortunately you - and he - can’t! Because Trump hasn’t you know, changed? He’s not suddenly pro-kneeling lmao. I know a lot of folks stopped checking in on this topic once the heat of going after the Pens died down, but I’m sorry to inform them that Trump hasn’t suddenly changed or amended his relationship with BLM, anthem protests, or black players who speak out against him. I know that this fact doesn’t help rescue Caps white boys - considering how little some of them they have to do to be considered Liberal Icons, it’s a shock to be denied the chance at praising them - but this avenue of rescue from accountability is as closed now as it was last time!

And um, I’m just gonna hope folks haven’t missed out on the fact that Trump has kind of uhhhh…. quadrupled down on all of his racism, homophobia, and bigotry since those very early days of his in office when the Pens visited it. So yeah, don’t bother with any hand-waving about it being ‘worse’ or ‘better’ to hold audience with him now or then lmao.

“Just because I didn’t protest this year doesn’t change what I said last year!”

Unfortunately, it does. Maybe you were young, maybe your politics were young and uninformed about hockey. Maybe you gave too much trust to fandom and didn’t do your due diligence, or didn’t appropriately withhold your investment and presumed innocence of rich straight cis white men. Who knows why you got it into your head that certain white NHLers wouldn’t align themselves with gross politics in one way or another.

But if you protested the last WH visit and stayed with hockey since then, you don’t have an excuse to keep pretending that there are lovely liberal strongholds anywhere in the NHL. None. Players of color do all their own work, white players get no credit for going along. Franchises doing things that are good PR are just that. This league was never the create-your-own-ideal that - in the almost two decades I’ve watched hockey - it has always tried to present itself as to fans. But the deception never worked on a lot of us, probably in no small part because someone my age started watching hockey before social media went fervently to work in trying to make the league and it’s players seem harmless and friendly in much more effective, albeit just as performative, ways.

Hockey tumblr know this: there are no cinnamon rolls in men’s hockey.

Draw an impermeable line between your fandom-ing of men’s hockey and your real life politics and morals as pertain to the reality of men’s hockey. Fandom is here for fun, but fun is not fun which alters when it performative-action-by-dopey-white-guy finds. I talk about what I find interesting about Sidney Crosby. I talk about what I object to about Sidney Crosby. I fandom wank in silly OTT posts about Sidney Crosby but in ways that doesn’t interact with me holding him accountable for his mistakes and flaws in terms of social responsibility and politics. Replace the name of the NHLer and repeat with your own guys.

The latest controversy that revealed a major flaw in fandom of rushing to exonerate a player rather over addressing the real issue of hurt and upset among LGBTQ+ fans is why this article really did need to get brought back up. There is a very real set of blinders worn by men’s hockey fandom and they need to come off. Even if the decision by most is to in general back off of talking about the gross realities, it needs to stay consistent across the league. No amount of social justice gold stars guarantees you a cinnamon roll franchise, or a cinnamon roll fanbase.

Do not bend and warp reality and accountability of adult men based on your own highly rose-tinted ideals of them.

Oh, and for future interest: should a team or players at some point decide to decline an equally offensive political invitation, that’s also not a “win” for your white boys. It’s proof of nothing more than the league and the franchise or players realising that it’s not worth the knock in publicity anymore.

(Needless to say: anyone attempting to exonerate the Capitals in response to this post gets nothing more out of me than a block. I’ve applied the same politics I’ve always had to the Pens and now to the Caps, as I would any team - and always have over a long time being a hockey fan. If you choose to switch up your politics based on largely white teams then that’s your problem, and not one I’m interested in. I’ve seen all the twisting and turning fans can possible do.)

#original posts #washington capitals

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hookaroo · 5 years

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Vocivore, Ltd. (7 of ?)

A OUAT WINTER WHUMP FIC

Also on FFN and AO3 (ListerofTardis)

Tagging @ouatwinterwhump, @killian-whump, and @killianjonesownsmyheart1 <3

Five weeks ago…

Sheriff Emma Swan was so deep in thought that she didn’t realize how hard she was chewing her pen until her teeth practically met, only a thin layer of gnawed plastic sandwiched between them. She made a noise of frustrated disgust and tossed the implement away, sighing, still deeply absorbed in the papers before her. She wasn’t making much progress and had come to the point where continued staring wasn’t even helping her to feel like she was doing something useful anymore. So when the outer door of the station opened, she found herself grateful for the interruption, despite the grim situation looming before her.

“Killian?” she called. He was almost ten minutes late and hadn’t contacted her, which was unlike him. But it wasn’t her husband who sauntered into the bullpen.

“No, I’m not, and glad of it.”

“Dad.” Emma grinned and got up from her desk. “What’s up?”

“I was in the area, thought I should stop by and see how you’re doing. Any progress on figuring out a way to defeat this guy?”

“Not yet,” she admitted with a dejected sigh. She glanced out the window, making a face at the collection of pigeon droppings gathered on the sill. “And now, on top of everything else, my magic is on the fritz; I dunno if the monster’s shield is expanding or what.”

“That’s just what we need,” scowled David, looking uneasy.

“Everything okay at your place? You guys feel safe enough out there?”

“Oh, we’re fine. Decided to invest in a couple security cameras, though.”

“Not a bad idea. I’ve heard a few other people mention that, too. Mr. Olsen must be doing good business.”

Nodding, David glanced at the papers littering her desk. And Killian’s desk. And the floor between their desks. “You, uh, need a hand in here?”

“No, we were just--”

A loud thump against the front door interrupted her train of thought. Immediately thereafter, concerned voices and exclamations outside had both sheriff and former sheriff rushing toward the entryway.

Before they could reach it, the door lurched open, and in tumbled Killian. He had his hook around the doorknob, leaning his left shoulder against the wood as if it were the only thing keeping him on his feet. Emma sucked in a breath at the sight of him. The blood. The crazed look in his eyes. The way his knees shook under him.

“Swan,” he wheezed frantically. She saw then that he held his hand pressed against his side, blood seeping through his fingers and over his rings. Emma clawed at the hand, trying to catch a glimpse of the wound beneath. Killian caught her wrist with slippery fingers. “They’ve taken her.”

It didn't even register with Emma that he had spoken until his grip on her tightened. She looked up, saw his bruised and puffy face, the gashes oozing blood from hairline, eyebrow, cheekbone. And devastated tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Killian choked out. “They’ve taken Hope.”

And then he went limp in Emma’s arms.

*****

Killian started coming around just before the paramedics arrived. David could feel him stirring beneath his hands as he put pressure on the steadily trickling wound in his side. Evidently, laying him flat with his feet elevated had increased blood flow to his brain as intended.

“Hang on, pirate; you’re gonna be just fine.”

A groggy and confused Killian merely groaned softly, trying and failing to lift his hand to his face. The limb flopped back down onto his torso just as a pair of emergency medical personnel trooped into the sheriff’s station.

One of them began to set up some equipment while the other grilled David for details he did not know. The first got as far as wrapping a blood pressure cuff around Killian’s arm when the wounded pirate sat up suddenly--or at least, that was his aim. The combination of David’s hands on his abdomen and what must have been searing pain from the injury stopped him at his elbows.

“Lie back, Killian; you’re hurt,” David urged. Killian’s eyes flickered open from a grimace. He blinked as he took in the scene surrounding him.

“Where’s Emma?” His tone was desperate, though he looked too dazed to recall what had happened. One medic placed a hand on his chest, trying to convince him to relax; the other worked to remove his shirt.

“She… went to your house. She knew you’d be in good hands here, and wanted to start looking…” David trailed off; he wasn’t sure it would be entirely wise to remind Killian of his missing daughter in his current state.

He needn’t have hesitated. His son-in-law began struggling again, attempting to wrench his arms from the meddling paramedics, gripping David’s wrist and nearly pulling him off balance as he surged to a sitting position.

“I have to help her, we have to… there’s…”

Killian turned an alarming shade of white, and David reached for his elbow, certain he would pass out again. The pirate put an unsteady hand to his face and swiped at his eyes. The blood staining his fingers left smudges along the bridge of his nose and eyelids.

“No, you have to take it easy,” corrected David. One medic had succeeded in positioning the blood pressure cuff; the other had opened a bag of saline and was busily priming an IV line. “Emma told me her magic is malfunctioning right now; she can’t heal you.”

“But Hope--”

“We’ll find her,” David said firmly with that unshakable, determined faith characteristic of his family. He briefly placed his hand over Killian’s, squeezing in comfort and promise. Then he surrendered it to the cannula-wielding EMT. “Tell you what: I’ll meet you at the hospital. Once you’re feeling better, we can go over what happened together, then pass the details along to Emma so she knows what to look for. Sound good?”

Killian nodded mechanically, eyes glazed and far away. Though he appeared to be watching the attempts to start an IV, he did not seem to feel the needle piercing the side of his wrist.

David could easily relate. A combination of nauseating dread for his granddaughter’s well-being, unprovoked swapping places and imagining Neal being abducted, and hazy memories of what it had felt like to surrender Emma to an unknown fate--those years of worry, never certain of her happiness or even survival--all swirled together to surge adrenaline through his veins. Filling him with the need to run somewhere, do something to help. He knew Killian felt exactly the same, and would probably be staggering out there right now, stab wound be damned, if it weren’t for the three people holding him down, the one he trusted talking sense into him. So David quelled his own roiling emotions and stayed with his son-in-law until he was safely stowed in the ambulance and en route to the hospital. Only then, as he washed the blood from his hands and arms, did David allow himself to give in to panic. Sweet little Hope, missing. Worse than missing, taken. With a crazed killer on the loose and magic unreliable. What were they going to do?

#ouat fanfiction #ouat winter whump #killian jones #emma swan #david nolan #beaten #stabbed #angst #missing child #abduction #Vocivore ltd

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nicholsonsloan0 · 2 years

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Excel Password Protection - How To Password Protect A 2007/2010 Excel Archive?

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socialattractionuk · 4 years

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Dating After Divorce For A Man | The Comprehensive Guide (step-by-step)

Dating after divorce for a man – In this article, I’m going to go through the exact steps that you should be taking if you are divorced and you would like to start meeting and dating more women.

The first thing that I’d like to draw to your attention is that things have probably changed since you last dated, and I understand that this process can be very daunting. Yet at the same time, the great news is that it is also the inception of the next part of your life. With the correct directed actions, you can begin to start taking control.

Moreover with the new free time that you’ve recently got, you can leave the darkness of your divorce behind you, and you can look at the light to your future. I’ll also be covering some FAQs about dating after a divorce for men in a later section. So let’s get started.

Dating after divorce for a man #1 – Set your dating intent

The first thing that you should do after a divorce is to set your intent from dating. In essence, this means that you write out what the ambition is for the next period of your life. If you’ve been dating and married for 10, 20, 30 years, and you would like to know what it is like to date multiple women and to have shorter-term relationships, then that is part of setting your intent. The process begins when you take out a pen and paper, or you do it on your computer and you just write out what your intent is.

Now bear in mind there’s a difference between setting a goal and setting your intent. And for me, intent is way more powerful because it’s less stressful. So my intent is to just meet more women and speak to them when opportunities arise. That’s a really good intent. My intent is to online date and to message a certain amount of women per week. Again, that’s a really nice intent. It’s not outcome orientated and it’s within your control.

Setting your intent also allows you to leave the past in the past and automatically focuses your mind on the future. To be fair, a divorce can be very messy. It can be emotionally painful and it can be traumatic. So just changing your outlook from looking behind you to looking in front of you will immediately make you feel better, and it will feel like your life is more in your control and you can start taking the next steps towards that next period of your life.

Dating after divorce for a man #2 – Join a new gym

The second thing you should do after a divorce if you’d like to get into dating is to join a new gym. Now, if you’ve already been training at a gym or you don’t train currently, going somewhere new to train can make an instantaneous impact to your life. Having new surroundings will get the endorphins flowing; you’ll meet new people; it will feel like a new you. This is part of the ritual of going into that next chapter of your life and leaving the past in the past.

Also, when you’re at a new gym, you can meet more women there. Additionally, you can also meet more guys to become potential friends with, and that you can go on nights out with. Or if they’re also single – or even if they’re not – they may be able to introduce you to some of their single female friends. So going to a new gym is great.

When you first walk in, my advice is simply being sociable. Just talk to everyone. The first time you see someone, just say hello, then the second time you can talk to them a little bit more. But over a period of time, when you go to a new gym, it establishes the new you, and it also gets you out of that rut; gets you training again; gets the endorphins and adrenaline going. It also gives you somewhere to be at a set time.

Indeed, one of the most difficult things that can happen after a divorce is that you now have too much time on your hands. So actually going to a gym at a set time, however many days per week, gives you structure. It gives you organisation and it gives you somewhere to be, and it is less time thinking about the trauma of your past and more time working towards your future.

Dating after divorce for a man #3 – Reflect honestly and take accountability

The third thing you should do after a divorce if you want to get back into dating is to reflect on what happened in your life and to take accountability and also responsibility. This means not solely blaming your ex-wife, her family members or anyone else for what happened. Instead, you have to look in the mirror and take responsibility where due because the moment you do that, you begin to realise that your life is in your hands and also in your control. Now there are a few different things that you can do here that will help you.

So the first one is to journal and that is to take out a pen or do it on your computer , but simply write out what happened; how you feel about what happened and how you would do it differently the next time around. That is a very cathartic way of letting go of your past.

The second thing that you can do is you can get into meditation, which is just a way of clearing your mind to give yourself mental clarity. When you do that, it will give you distance from your problems and it will allow you to automatically reflect on what happened in an objective way.

And the final way of reflecting (which is for me is the most powerful form of reflection) is when you do an emotional clearance, which is where you think about the things that are affecting you emotionally. This entails closing your eyes and giving those feelings a colour, you focus your attention on them. And eventually, they flow to the colour of white. When you do this, you are processing those emotions. You’re not repressing them. Instead, you’re allowing them to bubble up to the top. You’re not being scared of them. What happens is there is a calmness that comes at the end of that process.

If you would like to know exactly how to do that, then just type into YouTube, Gary Gunn, emotional clearance. And there’s a video of me showing you exactly how to do that process. I understand divorces can be very emotionally traumatic, and so if you need help here, then you can just watch those videos. You can do them alongside me, and it will make a massive difference to your mental wellbeing.

Dating after divorce for a man #4 – Take my dating confidence course

The fourth thing you should do after a divorce to get back into dating (and this is the most important one) is to take one of my dating confidence courses on Skype.

Now, the reason why I’m suggesting this is because – from the comfort of your own home – you’re able to have a coaching session with me and my female coaching assistants where you can practise specific scenarios, such as approaching a new girl you find attractive, going on a first date, flirting strategies, going on a second date, how to demonstrate empathy and connect with women. And all of these can be learnt from your own home via Skype. This is a really great way of building up your confidence.

Just to give you a quick and relevant story here. I recently took on a client who has been single for 35 years as he had a negative experience with a woman in his twenties which affected him deeply. I started coaching him via Skype. And after 35 years of being single, I’m sure you could imagine the lack of confidence that he had in his life. However, by going through the dating role-plays he was able to meet, attract, and then start dating a woman that he met online. So that’s the power of what you can do just from the comfort of your own home, just by taking the steps to invest in yourself.

Dating after divorce for a man #5 – Online date to ease back into dating

The fifth dating after divorce for men tip is to online date as a way of easing yourself back into it and talking to new women. Now online dating can actually be very difficult because I think roughly between 60 to 70% of users are male. Now, this shouldn’t put you off as, in my experience, you can do very well online dating if you use the correct sites. I believe Match.com is more of a serious site for people that are really looking to meet someone.

So this would be the dating site that I recommend you use because it will allow you to meet the right type of women if you are recently divorced; the reason being that the users are generally more serious as they’ve had to invest in the site rather than using the free dating sites, where you tend to get a lot of time wastage.

So sites like Match.com are very good ways of meeting women. I’ve written a book called An Education In Online Dating, which you can get on Amazon if you want help with what photos to take and how to write your profile – we also a full online dating makeover for men.

Dating after divorce for a man #6 – Join a social club or improv class

Now, the sixth thing that you can do after a divorce to get back into dating is to join a social club or improv class, or anything really where you’re developing yourself in a new way. Improv comedy classes are great, and you can also do them online. They teach you how to be more in the moment and how to be fun and spontaneous. It’s also an opportunity to meet other people with similar hobbies. I’m a big fan of taking classes or doing something you wouldn’t normally do, where you can meet new and different people and also develop your life at the same time.

So this could be anything that you’ve always wanted to do. If it’s a fitness goal and it means joining a new fitness social club, then go for it. You’ve got the time to do it, but just taking the time to think about what it is you want to do, and then joining a club with other like-minded people will be amazing for you. It will give you a sense of community.

It will give you somewhere to be at a set time, and it will allow you to just start clearing off the cobwebs from your past and becoming that new guy that you want to be.

Dating after divorce for a man #7 – Book an online speed dating event

The seventh and final dating after divorce tip for you is to book an online speed dating event. Now, these are really cool because, again, you can do this from your own house – just type in online speed dating, you book in, and then you are given a set period from the comfort of your own home where you get to speak to women that you’d never normally meet.

This is a fantastic way of potentially meeting someone who’s serious about dating and is also an opportunity to build on your confidence of getting back into dating, where you can begin to shed the rustiness of not flirting and talking to women.

Dating after divorce for a man – FAQs

I’ve got some FAQs, which I’m going to go through now, and then what I’ll do afterwards is give you a summary of the main topics covered in this article. So here are some of the FAQs:

How to know if I am ready to date after a divorce?

I think to answer that question, we all know internally if we’re ready to meet someone new. We also know whether we want time by ourselves to reflect, to pause and to take some time to think about what has happened in our life. In my experience, I would say is that if you still feel emotionally traumatised than you are not ready to date again, and you’re probably going to go on a rebound and perhaps enter a toxic or unhealthy relationship.

So my advice here would be doing the emotional clearance that I spoke about earlier, start working on attending the new gym and the new goals that I’ve spoken about.

And then when you’re doing those new things and you’re feeling good about yourself, you will then be in a position to start dating again. But if it’s raw, then you want to take the time to reflect, pause, meditate, clear the emotions, sort yourself out, get yourself into the best possible state, and then start getting back into dating to meet more women.

What is the best online dating site to use for divorced men?

I mentioned this earlier. I think Match.com is probably the best one or EHarmony is another. I’ve also heard people get some very good matches and results on there as well. So these would be the two that I most recommend.

How long should a man wait to date after divorce?

The answer to that is that it’s very different for every person that I’ve ever coached. So sometimes if a woman has broken up with a man, he may need six months to just come to terms with what’s happened. However, if it’s the guy that’s taken the steps to break up with the woman, then they could be ready to date immediately.

So it really depends on your circumstances. There’s no set-in-stone time of how long you need to wait after a divorce. It’s really up to you and when you feel ready.

Why is dating after divorce so hard?

In my experience, it’s hard because you’ve been out of the dating game for so long. You’ve become rusty because you’re not dating. So if you’ve been married for 5 or 10 plus years, that’s a long time. Dating has probably changed tremendously. Maybe there are new apps that weren’t around before. Maybe the rituals of what you do or how you communicate on dates has changed. What I would say is that there’s enough modern dating advice out there.

The Gary Gunn Show podcast, I’ve got over 200 episodes with modern dating advice where you can listen and learn, do your homework, really understand how to date. When you do that, it will make it a bit simpler for you.

And also if you’ve been married to someone, and now then you’re dating again, then it’s about setting the expectations on what they want from you, what you want from them. This can all feel very tricky and very hard. So my advice on that is just to strip it back, take it one step at a time. You should be looking at dating as a fun experience shared between two people, as opposed to trying to date too quickly or enter into a relationship, so strip it back; have the mindset of going back to being in your teens, remember what it’s like to date people and just go out there and have some fun.

How to go on a date after being married for so long?

So for me, formal dates are a big no-no. What I would recommend is that you meet for an afternoon walk. You can grab a coffee or you do something together as opposed to sitting down eating a meal or going for cocktails in the evening. It’s much easier to do an experience together that you share as opposed to trying to do something too formal which adds pressure. So do something light-hearted, something fun. Going for a walk or grabbing a coffee for example.

These are really good things that you can do for a first date. If for instance, you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, you can register for one of the dog walking sites and you can start walking dogs if you’re a dog fan, that’s a great date to invite women along to.

But essentially what you’re looking at doing is making it the smallest investment possible for a woman to join you on the date. And in my experience, if you make that something experiential, it makes it a lot easier and is also way more fun.

Dating after divorce for a man – Summary

So just to give you a summation of this article on Dating After Divorce For A Man: My Definitive Guide, I’m going to go quickly through the top seven for you to take away, to think about and to implement in your life.

Dating after divorce for a man #1 – Set your intent, take a pen and paper and write out exactly what your ambitions are with dating.

Dating after divorce for a man #2 – Join a new gym as this gives you new surroundings, gets the endorphins flowing. You’ll meet other guys there, and meet other women there.

Dating after divorce for a man #3 – Reflect on what happened in your life through meditation journal writing and emotional clearances to get yourself ready for your future and to leave your past behind you.

Dating after divorce for a man #4 – Take one of my dating confidence courses on Skype. These are a safe, secure, and easy way to build your confidence with women from home.

Dating after divorce for a man #5 – Online date as a way of easing yourself back into dating and talking to new women.

Dating after divorce for a man #6 – Join a social club, improv comedy class or anything that gets you meeting like-minded people having somewhere to be. You’ll have fun and learn something new.

Dating after divorce for a man #7 – Online speed dating because it allows you to just book in from home; get your webcam set up and just go on loads of really quick dates as a way of building your confidence and meeting more women.

Would you like to work together to increase your dating confidence?

Free Consultation with Gary Gunn (Worth £99)

Book a free 30-minute consultation and learn how I can help you build lasting confidence with women and develop your dating life.

100% confidential.

Book a time that fits your calendar.

Speak over a Skype audio or video call.

Book Free Consultation

Gary Gunn – Founder of Social Attraction

Hi there, I offer a range of different ways that I can help you to increase your dating confidence.

Including live training events, skype video coaching and online dating makeovers.

For detailed 1-1 advice on how I can help you to get better dating results then feel free to book a free consultation where I will be happy to help.

MORE: How To Get Back Into Dating | The Ultimate Guide (Top 15 Ways & Videos)

MORE: Dating Coach For Men | The Ultimate Guide (With Videos & Illustrations)

MORE: How To Seduce Women | The Ultimate Guide (With Videos & Illustrations)

Want to develop your dating-confidence? – View our upcoming courses here

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jaeminlore · 7 years

Text

nine hours until dawn εïз nct

group: nct hyung line category: thriller warnings: blood mention (seriously just a mention)

Jaehyun shivered on the steps, his numb fingers tapping at his phone screen. "Yo, Doyoung, why is there no cell service here?" Doyoung turned from his spot in front of the door, struggling to unlock it. "My parents never invested in cell towers. You know, technology takes away from the outdoor aesthetic." Taeil snorted from his perch against the steps. "You've got to have power, though, so why didn't you invest in at least one tower? For emergencies or something?" "There's a radio tower down the way," Sicheng mumbled, sticking close to Ten. "Well despite all that, this lock is frozen solid, so someone needs to come with me and find another way in." Doyoung said. "I'll go," Jaehyun volunteered. He and Doyoung walked to the side of the building. Jaehyun ran his hand along the wall as he walked, only stopping when his hand met a papery substance. "What's this?" Doyoung turned around and looked at the wanted poster tacked to the wall. "Oh, yeah, that's the man the police suspect. He's been missing for awhile now." Jaehyun peered at the words, "Hansol Ji, suspect wanted for arson. Wait, he's up here? With us?" "I reckon," Doyoung said. "The lodge is made of stone, though, so it wouldn't burn." "That is so not how science works." "It is. Rock beats fire, dude." "Rock beats scissors," Jaehyun corrected. He pointed behind Doyoung's shoulder, "There's an open window." Together, the two boys pushed an old storage unit under the window and ignored Kun and Yuta's urges to hurry up. "You go," Doyoung said, peering into the lodge. Jaehyun rolled his eyes, "Shouldn't you go since it's your lodge?" "No way, dude. I have to keep watch so that Hansol guy doesn't creep up behind you." Jaehyun pressed his palms against the window sill and climbed into the dark room. "Any idea how to defrost the doorknob?" "Yeah," Doyoung tossed him a lighter, "Light this under the doorknob from inside." Jaehyun sighed. "This really isn't how science works." Ignoring Doyoung's laughter, Jaehyun walked through the lodge. He took time to study the interior. He hadn't been there since the incident, and the thought gave him chills. Just upstairs was where the prank happened, and where everything seemed to have went wrong.

The stone walls seemed to make the atmosphere colder. The wooden floor creaking every other step made him extra jumpy. He wondered where the light switch was. He also wondered if he could take a bath after doing his door-keeping duties. "That's right," he mumbled, being reminded of his mission. He trotted to the front door and held the lighter under the doorknob. After a minute or two, he grabbed the doorknob and twisted before hastily letting go. He pushed the door open, "Here we are, gentlemen. Our castle awaits." Taeyong walked through first, tossing his bag against the couch and falling into the cushions. "I can't say it's any warmer, but it's definitely more comfortable than the stairs." Sicheng was next, followed by Ten and Yuta. "Oh no," he closed his eyes, "I can't do this." He turned around, only to be caught by Yuta. "Hey, it's okay. You've got this. You can do this." "I can't." Sicheng shook his head, tears blurring his vision as he pushed against Yuta's hold. "I can't, Yuta. It's too much." Doyoung walked in then, with Kun behind him, and his eyes softened. "Sicheng, if it's too much for you to stay here, you can always stay at the guest cabin. It's a fair walk from here, but it's away from the ... memories." Yuta grabbed both his bag and Sicheng's. "That would be best. I'll go with him." Doyoung opened his bag and grabbed a pen and pad. "I'll draw a map for you. You'll have to head through the mine, but it's a short distance so it shouldn't be too scary. I have extra flashlights as well." "I hate to interrupt," Taeyong said as he looked through his own bag, "but I think I left my briefcase by the cable car." "What's in it?" Kun asked. "My graphs." "Dude, you brought work with you?" "Time can't stop for everyone," Taeyong said. "I've got to fill in this paperwork so it'll be ready to fax over when I get back." Kun rolled his eyes, "You're so freaking boring, but fine. I'll go with you. The power better be on when we return," he directed his last statement towards Doyoung. "I get it," Doyoung said, poking at the fireplace, "I'm a terrible host." Jaehyun grabbed his bag. "I'm going to go take a bath. Don't bother me." - Jaehyun turned on the faucet, his muscles aching to feel some warmth. When he came up empty, save freezing water, he groaned. "Doyoung really is a sucky host." He stomped through the house, looking for the water heater, but ended up in a spare bedroom. The blue sheets reminded him of Johnny's favorite color. He entered and looked at the desk that was covered in random trinkets. "Johnny and Ten's room," he read the small handmade sign on the door knob. "This must've been the place they stayed whenever they visited Doyoung."

Jaehyun looked through the different trinkets, his eyes landing on a business card for a tattoo shop. He turned it over to see a rose design, and he immediately recognized it as Johnny's shoulder tattoo. He remembered the day Johnny got that tattoo, when he skipped work and made Jaehyun drive him to the parlor because he was so scared. Remembering Johnny made him want to cry, so he quickly put the card back in it's place and left the room. He pounded down the stairs, overhearing Doyoung, Ten, and Taeil talking about spirit boards. "You should go find it. Ten, Johnny and I used to play with it all the time." "I hate to interrupt," Jaehyun shouted as he walked down the stairs, "but there isn't any hot water." "Right," Doyoung had the gall to look sheepish. "I'll go turn it on now. Help me out; the basement is scary." Down in the basement, Doyoung's voice turned serious as he searched for the control panel. "I'm really glad everyone came back. I know it's hard, but I think it'll help us move on." "It's good to find closure," Jaehyun agreed, "and to stop allusions." "You mean Ten?" "He thinks Johnny is still alive somewhere."

Doyoung opened the door to the control panel and peered at the many knobs and buttons. "Can you blame him? I mean, you were really the only one who saw him fall." "Which is why I know he's dead," Jaehyun said. "He couldn't have survived that fall." "That still doesn't explain why they could never find the body." Jaehyun's mouth felt dry. - "Does it seem colder to you?" Sicheng asked. The landscape seemed to harbor no color save shades of white and blue. Yuta's coat did little to shield him from the cold, and his jeans seemed to be absorbing the frosty temperature, if anything. He could hear the rustle of the bare tree branches and the cawing of crows. "We should've brought snow pants." "You think that's it?" Sicheng asked. He looked around, hugging himself. Yuta wasn't sure if Sicheng was cold or simply sad. He ran to catch up with Sicheng's light, elf-like footsteps. "Are you alright? We can head home right now, if you'd like." "It's the same everywhere. Johnny's gone no matter where I am or what I'm do— hey, what's that?" Yuta glanced up and saw a nearby tree wrapped in tape. "Police tape." "Why is it here?" Sicheng asked. "They never closed the investigation," Yuta reminded him. "I guess this was one of the places the police worked last year. Man, I feel like it happened years ago. I can hardly remember any of it." "I can. We played a stupid prank on my brother that probably got him killed." "The prank didn't kill him. It was an accident." "Whatever," Sicheng muttered. As they walked on, they heard what sounded like a scream in the distance. "What was that?" "I don't know, but it doesn't sound good. Oh, here's the mine Doyoung talked about." Yuta glanced up at the large wooden doorway. It looked completely unsafe, as if the roof would cave in on them at any moment, but the only other way to get through was by climbing a bunch of snowy cliffs. Yuta didn't like the thought of slipping and sliding on rocks. Surpringly, Sicheng entered first, lowering himself down to a bottom level. Yuta peered down, "I guess there used to be stairs here?" "How am I supposed to know?" Sicheng sassed from below.

Yuta grumbled at him and jumped down. The old minecart shaft in front of them went down, lit by nothing save the setting sun peeking through the other side. "What the heck?" Sicheng walked into the end of the tunnel first, his eyes widening at what he saw. Empty oil barrels were set around like tables, or counters, and covered in half-melted candles and cigar buds. "Does Doyoung know about this?" "It could be his dad's," Yuta said, examining a cigar bud, "Johnny always said he had weird hobbies." "But this looks recently lived in. And look at this—" Sicheng pointed to a large map of the mountain. Different places were circled in red, marked with strange notes about repairs. Yuta shivered. "Let's just leave, then." "Fine," Sicheng said. On his way out, he grabbed a pile of snow and rounded it into a snowball. While Yuta's back was to him, he tossed the cold substance at his hair. "Ah!" Yuta shouted, the snow making his dark hair damp. "You're going to get it now, Sicheng." Sicheng laughed lightly, darting away as Yuta built up his own extravagant snowball. Yuta turned around, ready to attack, only to find his younger friend missing. "Sicheng?" Sicheng replied, but only in the form of a terrified scream.

"Sicheng!" - Kun walked along the pathway, the snow crunching under his heavy boots. He waited while Taeyong searched through his briefcase, having found it right where he had left it on a picnic table. "Seriously, did you have to come back tonight? Couldn't we have done this tomorrow morning?" "No," Taeyong protested, leafing through his papers, "my plan is to finish my work tonight so I can relax the rest of the weekend with you guys." "Oh. Lovely. Speaking of relaxing, can we please head back so I can get my beauty sleep." "Yeah, yeah, let's go." Taeyong grabbed his briefcase and trotted past Kun, "I'll race you." "No way." The two ran back towards the lodge, Taeyong taking the lead. By the time Kun caught up with him, Taeyong had stopped running and was staring at something. "I thought we were racing!" Kun taunted. "We were," Taeyong said, "then I saw this." He pointed to the object. It was a pig's head, bloodied and penetrated with a stick. A note was attached to it's neck, Welcome Back. "I-It's gotta be Yuta or Doyoung, right? They just wanna mess with us." Above head, the street light cut off, leaving the two in fearful silence. Taeyong reached for Kun's arm, "Let's get out of here." "Agreed." [...]

#nct scenario #nct fanfiction #nct horror scenarios #nct fanfic #nct au series #nct au #nct series #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct angst #destwrites

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oliverphisher · 4 years

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June Loves

June Loves is a well-respected author who has written over 100 books, including non-fiction and fiction for children, reference books and academic publications, over the past 20 years. June’s combined career as a newspaper journalist, freelance writer, teacher-librarian and bookseller enable her to empathise, comfort and keep young and old writers on track.

She is a mother of four and grandmother of 11 grandchildren and two great grandchildren, all of whom delight in spending time with her. She lives in coastal Victoria with her husband.

Modern Grandparenting: Games and Activities to Enjoy with Your Grandchildren By June Loves

She lives near the beach in Victoria, Australia with her husband. Her latest books are The Shelly Beach Writers' Group and Modern Grandparenting.

Where have I been & what have I been writing lately?

Nearly three years ago I fell down Alice’s rabbit holeand started following signs – Tell Your Story. This Way!I’ve taken lots of detours. Thankfully I can see a light at the end of the tunnel!

Detours

I detoured to assist writers to tell their story via email Q&A’s, I’vepresentednumerous workshops and talks at the U3A, community centres and libraries – even on a cruise ship (which stopped me jumping overboard!)And I’ve completed my book

How to Tell Your Story A-Z. I’ve also been filing through memories to write my complicated memoir.(‘Unfinished!’)

Remembering 1950’s Rural school teaching I’ve been writing a fake tell-all memoir –Miss Abigail Peabody.

(A Mostly True Memoir) (Unfinished!)

Now I can assure fellow writers the process of writing a memoir or an autobiography(your life from cradle to grave) is hard work and it will become your passion.

Many prime ministers and famous celebs dash off auto bio 700-page tomes. Lesser mortals will feel good (or bad) writing their memoirs. A memoir being parts or events of a lifeis doable!

Where to start?

It’s easy to start. Well relatively easy. You have the plot, characters and setting. You can begin at any place but be prepared. It takes a mammoth effort to work through the difficult, seemingly boring bits to the last page.Then you need to take a deep breath. Get ready to revise, rewrite and edit.It will be worth it!

I believe I’ve nailed the essentials you need to ‘Tell Your Story’ in my (Five Steps? or Ten Top Tips?)

PS: If you’re cashed up you can employ a Publishing Consultant, Ghostwriter, editor/s, or a biographer to assist you in writing your story. (Caution: This couldbe easier or more difficult than writing your story!)

PPS: Leave out writing that could be construed as libel – writing that could be injurious to others. It’s not so much a case of black or white but of the greys between.However it’s your story. If you decide to leavedodgy content in – your story could become a brilliant best-seller novel!Woo Hoo!

Three books: bios or memoirs that have influenced me.

1. Storyteller. The Life of Roald Dahl by Donald Sturrock.

Roald Dahl is my favourite children’s author.Reading his stories kept children sitting on the mat during storytime in my library. Storytelleris a masterly biography and an example of how to include private papers, references and other end-page info in a book.

Storyteller: The Authorized Biography of Roald Dahl By Donald Sturrock

2. I Remember Nothing And Other Reflections by Nora Ephron.

This book is hilarious musings on ageing by the writer of the New York Times bestseller Heartburn,and writer and director of the brilliantscreenplays When Harry Met Sally, Silkwood and Sleepless in Seattle.

(I poached Nora Ephron’s structure of including recipes from her title Heartburnand used in my children’s novel One Wild Week With My Grandmother.)

I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections By Nora Ephron

3. Thinking About Memoir by Abigail Thomas.

This book is a perfectly designed, usefulhandbook. I purchased it 15 years ago according to the bookshop tag and it’sbeen hidden in my bookshelf before I thought of writing my memoir. I love Abigail Thomas’s quote, ‘Memoir is the story of how we got here from there.’

Thinking About Memoir (AARP) By Abigail Thomas

What purchase of $100 has impacted on your life in the last six months?

Last week I purchased a pack of Artline 220 Super Fine 0.2mm Fine Line Black pens and I ordered 10 Chunky notebooks online. Both purchases added up to about $100. My comforting purchases are stacked in a cupboard. Now I have a supply of pens and notebooks to record ideas, characters, plots & dialogue – and I’ll be able to capture that best-selling 3am idea!

How has failure set you up for later success?

I believe if you enjoy writing the only way a writer can fail is to give up. And it helps to have a skin like a salt-water crocodile to cope with rejections. Writers have to accept that rejection will be part and parcel of the professional writing process if you want to publish your writing.

Don’t bin or delete a rejection straight away. Sometimes an agent or editor will write encouraging and helpful comments. They may even say they’re interested in reading your work again – if you do a ‘rewrite’.

It’s up to you.

I’ve known editors, agents or publishers to change their mind. They ask to see your work again and they accept your submission after they’ve rejected it!

Rejection can have positive as well as negative outcomes. On the positive side, rejection can inspire you to improve your writing skills.

You can re-evaluate your writing after a rejection – rewrite or stand by what you’ve written.

If you self-publish you don’t have to worry about rejections. Then again online reviews can be dodgy and hurtful. And you’ll probably feel rejected if sales numbers are low.

Do a little war dance and start writing again!

Are there any quotes you live your life by?

When I was a 15-year old and found myself a job as a Lois Lane reporter in a newspaper my grandmother’s advise was to ‘Work Hard! Work as hard as you can!

Be polite and smile!’ This has proved excellent advise in my 25-year career as a teacher librarian, and 24 years as a working writer.

What is the best writing resource investment you’ve made?

My second-hand clunky Remington Rand typewriter I purchased when I was 15. I paid it off in instalments. Then came the Apple computers I purchased (and have loved) beginning in the 80s.

What’s an unusual habit you have?

In winter when I spend long hours at the computer I wear a woolly, faded blue dressing gown over my clothes. I enjoy the startled looks of visitors when they think they’ve disturbed a sick old lady – not knowing this old writer has been living the most exciting life typing chapter after chapter of her scandalous novel.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven, aspiring author?

Make sure you use a correct chair, and your writing space is arranged ergonomically.

Keep a glass of water on your desk. Be organised. Plan daily blocks of time within your week or a set amount of time over a week. Develop a routine.

Don’t wait for the ‘muse’ or for inspiration. Just write! Set yourself writing goals for each writing session. Aim for a word count goal of 500 to 1,000, a set number of hours, or a specific number of scenes. Work to deadlines. File or basket your work so you can locate it at a minute’s notice. (Good practice in working with editors!)

Keep learning your writer’s craft across new media. Appreciate your imagination. It’s a writer’s gift.

In the last five years how have you become better at saying ‘No’?

I’ve finally learnt ‘The Gracious No’ Reply. This is an excellent excuse for writers who are desperate to find time to write. ‘The Gracious No’ conversation can go like this. ‘Are you free to meet tomorrow?’ A writer’s reply, ‘Just let me check my diary.’

Then after the writer checks they’re diary. ‘Sorry I’d love to meet with you but I have to take the goldfish to the vet.’ Fortunately the goldfish recovers! And the writer has time to write.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

I haven’t a clue. Obviously dodgy social media but I’m rubbish at marketing. However I’ve made a list of DIY Marketing Tips I intend to follow to market my two novels – The Governess, and The Secret Memoir of Abigail Peabody, and my latest non-fiction How-2 Write Your Life Story A-Z: Everything U Need 2 Know

• Don’t underestimate the value of word-of-mouth advertising. Think locally… contact newspapers, radio & TV stations, bookshops, libraries, and local markets to promote your book.

• Select the pricing of your book with care. You need to check similar books and decide whether to match, undercut, ignore their pricing and/or offer free copies for a certain time.

• Make yourself available for photo shoots, interviews and to write promotional pieces about your book.

• Use marketing tools such as: posters, reviews, interviews, media appearances, podcasts and social media.

• Write short form copy e.g. sound bites, tweets, taglines and headlines to market your life story. Be prepared to describe your memoir in 140 characters or less. Have a list of snappy phrases and sound bites ready-to-go.

• Submit your life story for competitions and to be reviewed.

What new realisation helped you achieve your goals?

Just recently three of my writerly friends have passed away leaving unfinished novels on their desks. I decided I wasn’t going to die with two unfinished novels and a How-2 trapped inside me so I completed my projects. They’re in typescript stacks on my desk and in folders on my computer.

Now I can start writing short story! A definitely shorter project! Or Essays!

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed and lose focus?

I divide a writing project into doable steps – words, pages, chapters? Even volumes!

(I’ve spent two years of my life writing the multi-volume The Macmillan Illustrated Encyclopedia, (First and Second Editions). I enjoyed working through volume after volume. When each volume was completed I took it to the publisher.

I give myself a ‘cushion deadline’ – an easy, or an earlier deadline if I have a professional deadline to meet. (You never know when you have to take the cat to the vet!)

I don’t beat myself up if I have a Bad-writing day, week or months. I accept King-hits from life events. You have to start again. Set yourself a new goal, and a new cushion deadline.

________

Enjoyed this Q&A? Want to discuss in more depth? Join Community Writers. You'll get access to 100+ exclusive writing tips. Q&As with successful authors, an exclusive ebook on building an audience and much more. Sign-up for free as a community writer here

source https://www.thecommunitywriter.com/blog/june-loves-1

#Writing WriteMotivation WritingAdvice

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burmaonmymind · 6 years

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My best experience this year was Easter in Trollheimen with Oddny, Elise, Naomi, and Kristin. We were on mountain skiis, felted with mohair to summit, then waxed to glide back down the pristine slopes of Raudfjell. The sun was majestic against the spring snow and the view from the top was awe inspiring. Laughter and irritation after fall #57 mixed with a little comical cussing made the trip human, but man, we were dancing with the Divine.

Historical Jesus and I have had it out this year. I started my angst producing soul-trip in January by ordering two university text books about the current historical, archeological, and anthropological material out there in the charged atmosphere of academia. Since I’ve read most everything by popular Christian Theologians and authors, I thought I would chip into where our educational institutions start freshmen students at the university level.

What I found led me into a dark hole of inquiry and realizations that I still haven’t completely recovered from. But the exercise led me to one profound conclusion that has mediated the feeling of spiritual and intellectual vertigo: I can’t live without Him.

Jesus is the one who showed up at my lime green trailer on Gilmore Trail in Fairbanks Alaska in 1986 and invited me into an adventure so big and audacious that I am still trying to keep up with what I perceive to be his leading. Any of you know me from those days before 1986 know that I was busting a new level of low in the slime pit of earthling life. Whatever historical challenges or evidence contrary to what I learned at church and in the Christian bubble may be, I simply can’t lean into reality without this soul empowering presence next to me. I can’t.

Call me weak. I call it faith.

This exercise in transcendental meaning led me to read all sorts of new authors. I got into Rabbi Kuschner, Rilke, Kierkegaard, and the South American theologian, Rene Padilla. Having read The Courage to Be, by Paul Tillich and some similar stuff by David Benner, I also read more of Joseph Campbell, the Mythologist who wrote Hero With A Thousand Faces. All of these authors and thinking revolved around the historical Jesus and what His life and message should mean to me.

It was white knuckles for me for a while, and I had many other anxiety producing events threatening and irritating me, but here we are at the end of the year and I’m humming a Joe Walsh tune, “Life’s been good to me so far” and feeling grateful that Jesus doesn’t wrath-out on me when I wonder aloud why he didn’t organize his legacy differently.

Oddny put up with all this theoretical stuff. In Oddny’s Book, theoretical is a four-letter word. She’s a practical hard working, passionate ass-kicker who doesn’t waste time on ethereal thinking. Thanks for sticking with me babe. There is only one you.

My book club (yes, I belong to an actual book club too) brothers Kjaertan, Rune, Ove, Bjørn and Trygve have been an important part of my year. They anchored me in meaningful community where it’s safe to talk, express, and question the sacred parts of life. I am grateful for good friends who share my love for books, ideas, and vulnerability.

To cap it all off I got a hold of A Failure of Nerve thanks to my buds Chris Jennings and Jay Pathak. This book is icing on the 2017 cake. In it author Edwin Friedman unpacks the reasons for a failure in leadership in our institutions, governments, and families. We are concept hostages who need a paradigm shift. This book gives many signs to indicate the way out of this frozen- politically-correct harbor of reactive anxiety, forfeiture of individual identity, and the sort of double speak that Orwell penned as fiction. It’s worth your time to read.

“Leadership through self-differentiation is not easy; learning techniques and imbibing data are far easier. Nor is striving or achieving success as a leader without pain: there is the pain of isolation, the pain of loneliness, the pain of personal attacks, the pain of losing friends. That’s what leadership is all about.” ― Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix

I thought Iraq or Bangladesh would dominate my travel and work impressions. They were both arresting and motivating, especially what is happening with the Rohingya people. As it turned out though, nothing was close to Syria. I toured a haunting landscape full of resilient and hospitable people. The scale of their suffering and the lack of external support, the violence and the politics that conspire against hundreds of thousands of beautiful people towards an early death; this and so much more was Syria. I want to go back.

My new friend Bashir Talati put up with a week-long adventure of rooftop sleeping (the only place to sleep is on the roof when it’s 130 degrees outside) under the stars Mary and Joseph sojourned beneath. He introduced me to sheiks, desolated cities, refugee wandering, and profuse sweating as we assessed what small part our team could do in the ISIS wasted areas around the Euphrates River.

Part of my Syria experience was the inspiring fact that all the things the Kurdish leaders in Rojava asked Partners Relief & Development to help with, we were capable of giving. In fact, their single most requested item of assistance was trauma therapy for children who have survived the terror of ISIS. We know how to do that.

Some short quips that summarize 2017 leadership lessons: do not hold strong people back in order to appease emotionally dysfunctional people. Don’t stop strong decisive people of character in order to keep peace. Do not, in the name of unity or community, support the weakest link on your team against the will of stronger members. You will lose the strong ones and be left with a highly reactive and weak team.

When you find a Brad (VP Operations) Hazlett, invest and build synergy. Great things are around the corner, even if tough things cackle in the space between. Be bold.

When your team kicks ass and saves lives. Be proud and tell them they are champions.

Do not own things, people, or events. If you lose something you don’t own it doesn’t hurt. Live free, unattached, with a calm smile.

Let people be themselves. Do not maintain or attempt to control the reactions, emotions, love, kindness or favor of anyone. Instead, work on yourself, uncover self-deceptions and blind spots and breathe deeply because the process is the point, not the destination.

When a person constantly blames others for their problems, walk away. They can’t be fixed. And then with a nod to Epictitus, Aurelius’, and the stoics; most threats won’t actually materialize, so live fearlessly and without anxiety. Accept the battles that do come and fight with integrity.

Finally, if you want a good novel to bake you into a lazy day off in 2018 read Hess’s, Steppenwolf. Sublime and amazing and mysterious– my favorite novel from this year. And for music, tune into Vulfpeck starting with the song 1612 be prepared to put your funky smile on though, cause we are dancing into a whole new world in 2018.

Live a free and full life,

Steve

It’s 2018; Let go, love life, be brave. My best experience this year was Easter in Trollheimen with Oddny, Elise, Naomi, and Kristin. We were on mountain skiis, felted with mohair to summit, then waxed to glide back down the pristine slopes of Raudfjell.

#bebrave #christianity #faith #historical jesus #jesus #last day of the year #letgo #lovelife #Partners #reflections #ski #spirituality #syria #trollheimen

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mysticsparklewings · 5 years

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Tombow Recycled Colored Pencil Review

Look! I finally got some more colored pencils to try out! This time we're looking at the Tombow Recycled Colored Pencils. Tombow is probably best known for their water-based dual brush pens, which I have a few of, but these and their other line, the Irojiten colored pencils (which are a bit fancier and noticeably more expensive than these), are more intriguing to me. These pencils specifically are called "recycled" pencils because if you look closely at the pencils in person, each one has a couple of zigzag lines dotted along the barrel/wood casing. These are "finger joints" where partial pieces of wood have been joined together to make a piece the proper length for making colored pencils, whereas most normal colored pencils just use whole pieces of wood and, apparently, thus generate a lot of wood-waste. But what really caught my attention about the recycled colored pencils, and why I ended up getting them before getting the Irojitens even though the packaging and idea behind those are ridiculously attractive to me, is because the word on the internet is that the core of these pencils used the exact same formula as the Irojitens. This is important because the 24 set of Recycled Pencils goes for about $14 on Amazon, and anywhere from $13-$30 depending on where else you look. But any of the three sets of 30 Irojiten pencils can go anywhere from $25-$50 depending on where you look, and while there are only 24 Recycled pencil colors, there are 90 Irojiten colors (the full set going for about $80-$100, again depending on where you look), so you'll end up paying a lot more to get the full set of those. What that means then, if they are indeed the same core--I couldn't find confirmation on Tombow's website or the Amazon listing, so it could very well just be a very strong rumor--that these are a cheaper way to try out the formula for the Irojiten pencils to see if you even want to invest in them. Hoping this was one of the times the internet is right, that's what I did. I'll get my big complaints out of the way first: I wish there were more colors, the pencils are a bit of the harder side (but not to the point they're painful to work with), and the white and metallics fell a little short for me. But, even so, I think the pencils are pretty nice for their price point. So let's take a bit of a deep dive and I'll address those things as they come up. The first thing I noticed once I actually had the pencils in my hand is that they're designed similarly to the Caran D'ache Luminance and Faber Castell PITT Pastel pencils, both of which are considered high/artist quality pencils and their price points reflect that very strongly. (Translation: Those pencils are hecka expensive). Most of the pencil is the naked wood casing, but the very ends, about 1/4 of an inch, are dipped in what's supposed to be the color of the pencil. The pencils, as well as the hinged tin they come in, have a lot of either Japanese or Vietnamese printed on them. (I've heard multiple times that Tombow is a Japanese company but these pencils both on the packaging and on the pencils themselves say there were made in Vietnam, and as uncultured American swine my untrained eyes can't tell the difference between the two written languages) This makes figuring out which color you have a wee bit tricky, but the color names are printed inside the lid of the tin and each pencil is numbered and they're laid out in the correct order, so if you can remember which color is which number, you should be okay. This problem could also be eased by some washi tape either on the tin with the number or one the pencils with the names (or both), but I got used to the numbers/placement to figure out which ones I wanted pretty quickly. This would be a much bigger problem if this was a larger set, though. Speaking of which, about those colors... For a 24 set, I do feel like you get a pretty good range; There's a white, black, pink, peachy/light skin tone color, even a gray and two metallics: silver and gold. Comparing this color range to both the Prismacolor 24 set and the Crayola Artist/Blend & Shade 24 set, I do wish they'd swapped one of the yellowish colors for a light turquoise/blue-green color like the other two sets have, and if I'm really splitting hairs then swapping the metallics for another lighter skin tone/peachy/tan color and/or light purple/lavender would've been really nice. But this set has a nice gray, which neither of the other sets do, and otherwise is pretty well-rounded for a small set, in my humble opinion. There is one thing that bugs me about this color selection though; there's one pencil, 16 Ultramarine, that from the paint on the pencil looks like the typical darker warm blue color you'd expect Ultramarine to be, but when you swatch it out, the color is noticeably lighter. So, in reality, it's about the same darkness/value as the regular 15 Blue. This is disappointing because that means unless you use black there's not a good darker blue in the set to shade with. The irony is that another color, 23 Magenta, is a lot more saturated/vibrant on the pencil than it is swatched. This is less disappointing because the slightly darker, more muted hot pink color is arguably more useful that the brighter, more fuchsia-ish color would've been. Otherwise, the colors on the pencils match the swatches fairly well. But I think the disparity is largely because there's no white base layer between the wood of the pencil and the color dips, and so the colors on the pencils are all slightly tainted by the color of the wood. Even with a layer of white pencil, with these or any other pencils, my tan and gray papers always affect the final colors, so it does matter. Anyway. As for performance, for the price point--which I'm garnering as the $13-$14 range because that's what I paid, even though it can be higher--they do really well. They're not as soft as Prismacolor, but from my pre-purchase research, I had already expected that for both these and the Irojitens. And I mean, if we're being realistic as this point there's only like two pencil brands I will ever expect to be as soft as good ol' Prismacolor--the Caran D'ache Luminance and the Holbein pencils from Japan--but those are ludicrously expensive and so it will probably be quite a while before I can see how true that impression holds. Unless the pencils are so hard/unpigmented that it hurts my hand to use them when coloring for long amounts of time (20 minutes or more sessions), I typically don't count that super harshly against the pencils. But I digress. It is a little queer though because these pencils--it's like they're somewhat soft at the same time that they're noticeably rigid, which reminded me somewhat of the Faber Castell Polychromos, which are an oil-based pencil. I couldn't find a definitive answer--on the Tombow website or the Amazon listing--on if these pencils or the Irojitens are supposed to be oil or wax-based (though I could have missed it somewhere), but this combined with the more creamy feel on the paper makes me think they're actually a strong wax/oil hybrid. When they go down on the paper, the amount of friction and general feel is nearly identical to wax-based pencils (creamy feel as opposed to oil pencils having a silky/gliding feel), but the more rigid nature and the fact that these prefer to be layered up slowly rather than trying to go right for a heavy pressure layer to get the best color pay-off is definitely more in the family of oil-based pencils. And they don't have as much a of a "waxy" sheen when you move them in the light, again like oil-based pencils. I'd almost say they are oil-based, but there's just enough feel of a wax-based pencil, and the way they look on the paper, I don't feel comfortable sticking them squarely in that category. As for layering and blending, my research had also pre-cautioned me that these do better to layer them up slowly instead of trying to burnish them in right away. And that does indeed seem to be the case, just like with the aforementioned Polychromos. You can get decent color pay-off from going in heavy straight away, but it's easier on the hand and I would say looks and feels better to use layers instead. They do blend better than I expected from the way they felt; it's not super-duper smooth like Prismacolor or like I've had with Schpirerr Farben sometimes, but it is pretty smooth and as you can see here is very workable. It helps that they do appear to have the layering power you'd expect from other oil or oil-hybrid pencils, meaning while the first couple of layers look a little rough and concerning, once you've built them up they smooth out and you can keep going to build them up for noticeably longer than your typical wax-based pencil. All this in mind and backing up a little bit, the white was disappointing to me because it's not that strong/pigmented on its own. It's not the worst I've ever seen, but unless you put the white down first and pre-plan where you're going to want that strong white highlight and avoid going over it with other colors, it's not very good for adding strong white color back into a drawing over other color layers. But it is pretty good for blending, which I find tends to be the give and take on white-colored pencils: if they can't stand strongly on their own they usually work better as blenders. You'll also notice that despite my earlier comment on not having a proper darker blue/Ultramarine color, I was able to fake it pretty well here by layering up purples, blues, and a bit of black. And overall I'd say they do mix pretty well to make new colors, so the smaller set size is a little less of a problem than I initially expected. I also have to mention that in testing they have some of the best erasing I've ever seen for colored pencils that aren't specifically marketed as being erasable. Naturally, they don't erase 100% completely just like no colored pencil does, but it did really surprise me. Also, my white gel pens were a little fussy over top of these pencils. Not as bad as some other pencils I've tried, but they responded very similarly to how my other wax-based pencils do. But obviously, I was able to get them to work without too much headache. Overall, I give the pencils a 3.5 out of 5, which is pretty good as far as my standards for colored pencils go. I did take into account that I'm not crazy about the hinged lid on the tin them come in, but that's not a huge dealbreaker as it doesn't make the tin annoying or outright unusual to me, unlike other packaging issues have in the past. Also, of course, I took into account the other issues I mentioned, along with even my beloved Prismacolors only get a 4.5 out of 5 for minor issues and there always being room for improvement, even for favorites or "the best." Like I said earlier, the pencils really did surprise me for the price that I paid. That said, this does make me want to get the Irojitens to compare and see the proof in the pudding as to whether they really are the same core or not, as well as if they are to just have many more colors at my disposal to pick from, as in the end, I think that really was my biggest problem with these; 24 is just not a huge range of color to pick from. And, like I said at the very beginning, the packaging gimmick for the Irojitens constantly calls my name, but I'll save talking about that for the day that I actually have them in my hands, whenever that ends up being. I'd say if you want an experience that manages to hit somewhere between Polychromos/oil-based colored pencils and Prismacolor/wax-based colored pencils, that are still pretty nice quality and won't totally break the bank, these are very much worth a try. And now if you'll excuse me, I have some other supplies and some backlogged art on my to-do list that demand my attention. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

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yuna-dan · 7 years

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Outlaws

The other day I was listening to this song and suddenly this idea appears. I couldn’t help myself, so I really hope you all like this one!! I’m tagging the love of my life @obviouslyelementary (Take it as a little gift <3)because she deserves everything this in this world and because this is a Logince! Moxiety!

Warning: Human!AU PopStarRoman, ManagerLogan, SongwriterMorality and CostumerAnxiety. Past Toxic Relationship, but nothing graphic. I hope you all really like this one!!

Here’s the song

“For someone who always uses bad clothes, you sure know how to design some nice ones.” Roman said when he saw his reflection in the mirror, wearing a beautiful sparky white with feathers costume, having slight greyish. His make-up was already done, leaving his eyes with a purple eye-shadow.

“Yeah, yeah.” He was kneeled next to the artist, seeing one last thing, “You have said that a lot of time.”

Roman scoffed, “I just don’t get it. Why? I mean you can dress fabulous!”

“Ah, Ro, let him be,” Morgan spoke from the couch that was in the little room, chuckling when the young dresser tensed a little but smile nonetheless, “He can do whatever he wants.” The songwriter smiled.

Roman felt a pain in his calf, “Oh sorry.” Ann smirked and in that moment Roman knew he did it on purpose.

“He can do whatever he wants and also hurt you and destroyed your costumes.” He giggled.

Point taken.

Roman was waving off his fans while Logan was trying to get him into de limo. Ugh, he knew it can be excited when you just start your musical career but this guy was so careless.

“C’mon Roman, we need to get to the hotel.” Roman sighed but obeyed his manager.

“You are no fun.” He sighed and took out his phone.

“Don’t post anything yet, we need to arrive first and make sure there’s no one in the hotel.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “I’m just talking with Morgan.” He showed his phone.

For some reason, Logan’s jaw clenched and suddenly he was mad.

Morgan was in the park, writing some stuff in his pad when he felt a presence next to him, he turned only to find the dresser sitting next to him with one smoothie in each hand.

“Thought you would be thirsty,” Anx, his artistic name, was smiling shyly at him.

“Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a criminal record?” Logan was trying his best to control his voice, but really, he was mad. Someone just exposed Anx in social media and in Roman’s last interview the host out him in a really bad situation. Ann watched that in television and was avoiding even grabbing his phone.

He was in his studio when the singer and his manager burst into it, “It was a long time ago…” His voice sounds almost sad.

Roman was trying to get Logan out of there, “C’mon Logan, it’s not a big deal.”

Ann was sketching a new dress for a wedding, “Yeah, it’s not like I kill someone…”

“Then what was it?”

“I don’t have to tell you…”

“It happens that you have, I’m your boss!” Logan’s arm was being held by Roman, who was tugging at it.

“Look, even the drama queen doesn’t care, why would you?” Ann snapped, feeling intimidate, grabbed his sketch book with both of his hands.

Logan, finally snapping back to reality, “Look, it’s for the rumors Anx. I don’t care what you did, but I have to know in order to protect your image and his image.” He explained calmly and sighing slightly.

Roman look at his manager. Then at his designer, who was biting his lip, as if wanting to tell him but was refraining.

Look at his manager.

Look at Ann.

“I’ll go.”

And Ann told him.

Anxiety knew that something happened when he arrived that day to work in Prince’s next tour and everyone was avoiding his gaze.

All thank to a fucking mistake, that was it. A misunderstood.

He looked around and sat in a little desk in the studio, he could hear the voice of Roman practicing his new song. He smiled at the song,

“Oh, when the lights go down in the city You'll be right there shining bright You're a star and the sky's the limit”

Morgan was the responsible of writing most of Roman’s songs. He had a habit of writing love pop song and a little of indie, which was completely his style.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?” One of his co-workers asked with an evil smirk.

“You mean for murder? I don’t know, I haven’t done one in a while.” He glared at them.

Logan knew this was probably not the best way to handle this, but he was under a lot of stress and it seemed as the best thing.

“I am not firing you, Anx…” He remembered reaching to touch his shoulder but got his hand spatted away. “It’s just while this disappear, give me one month.”

Anxiety had been looking at the floor and just moved his eyes up, watching him through his fringe. “Okay.” He sounded so defeated.

“This is not your fault and you’ll still be in charge of the costumes of Roman’s world tour.”

Ann just stood up, give him a short nod and leave his office, not even bothering to close the door behind him

Now Logan was in his office, yanking his hair and wondering if he made the correct choice.

He felt horrible, specially after seeing the broken face of his friend. Ann was his friend. He rubbed his temples, and everything because of a fucking gossip.

Suddenly he saw a cup of coffee in front of him, and when he raised his face he saw the young diva smiling at him. “I don't support your choice,” he was about to tell him to go away, “But I know this is hard and I'm not mad, I'm here Logan.” He felt a quick kiss right next to his mouth.

Okay, maybe not everything was bad.

When Morgan noticed that Ann wasn't answering his texts he went to his house as soon as possible, and while it may not have been the best decision he was glad.

Anx opened the door, confused only to be tackled with a hug.

“Mo... Morgan?”

The writer hugged him, still on the floor and the writer was mumbling something about not caring and missed you so damn much. “Morgan?” He asked in a tiny voice, “What’s the matter? Why are you here?” He squirmed away and both stood up.

Ann went to close the door, looking at the white cat that was hidden under the table, “I just wanted to see you, Ann. Ever since… you know, you haven’t answered my texts so I got worried.”

The younger one raised an eyebrow, “That’s all?”

“You know, I missed your devishly charm at the studio.” He smiled shyly.

“Oh…”

Morgan stay that day. And the next one.

Logan was talking in the phone when Roman entered his office once again, with a coffee cup and a cupcake. “Hey, Lo…” Logan put his index finger in front of his lips, signaling him to wait, “Oh sorry.” He felt a pair of lips in his cheek.

He really like that feeling.

Ann woke up. Another dreadful day. He chuckled dryly, that happens when you get to invested in your work. He shook the covers up and jumped out of the bed.

“Hey, Tag,” the white cat stared at him, “Sleep well?” he scratched his ears. He then proceeded to go to the kitchen and make some breakfast for his cat.

He was not hungry.

Morgan was in his studio, struggling with the words (likeme:D) when his phone ring.

Woke up. U going to come? -Anxy

He let the pen next to him and started typing:

Yeah. Chinese or pasta? -Mo.

Whatevs. Idc. Need to clean. -Anxy

He let himself chuckled and shook his head.

K. See u later. -Mon

“Ohh…” Roman’s voice echoed, “Who are you texting and why are you smiling so bright?” He wiggled his eyebrows and sat in front of him.

“Our favorite outlaw.”

Roman frowned, “Hey, don’t called him like that.”

Morgan shrugged, “He likes it.”

He did, after all. Morgan smirked a little and he heard the start giggling, “You’ve got an idea.”

He did, after all.

Roman was in his apartment when someone knocked. “Roman opened up!” The diva laughed softly and paused the movie.

“What’s the matter, Lo?” He smiled, resting his arm in door’s frame.

“I don’t know what you are playing! You have to stop! I am your manager!”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “That’s not what you say last night.” He winked.

The oldest one’s cheek flushed slightly, “Roman stop!”

“Or what? Going to punished me?”

Logan growled, something slightly out of character of him, and launched himself at the pop start. Grabbing his head and uniting their lips again.

Roman’s voice was melodic not only in singing.

Logan woke up naked, tangled in sheets with a body next to him.

“So, why are going to stop?” He heard the pop start whispering next to his neck, kissing softly the flesh leaving a little circle purple form.

“Stop that, they’ll see it.” He hissed, but didn’t make an effort to move away.

“That’s the idea, babe.” He let little peck up to his naked shoulder.

He let Roman pampered him, feeling hot all over again and before they went for another round, his last thought was that they really need to stop.

Ann was silent and Morgan was getting more and more nervous with each second.

“Y-You’ve got a be kidding!” Ann flinched away when Morgan tried to touch his hand. “Why?”

“Look, Ann don’t panic. You don’t have to answer in this moment or reciprocate me, I just thought you should know. I like you romantically, don’t act as if it’s a bad thing.” Morgan said almost offended, crossing his arms in his chest.

Ann looked at him and grabbed his hand, “It’s not bad… Not for me. Morgan, you deserve someone better than me.”

Morgan didn’t believe that.

“So, I can go back at work?” They were having a coffee near the studio. Logan was smiling but Anx knew better, he was nervous because of something.

“Yeah. Sorry for all this inconvenient. I hope you’re not mad at me for my decision.”

Anx purse his lips, and drink from his coffee. “I am.” Logan flinched, “But I got my job back, so it’s fine.”

“Morgan hasn’t stopped talking about it,” he smiled, “Saying something about needing your piercing eyes to come up with a new song.”

Ann felt the blood running in his cheeks, “He does that.”

“Soo… What’s that on you neck, Lo?” Ann smirk.

“Shut it.”

“So basically,” Ann was sketching some new stuff while Roman try some new clothes for the tour, “He cheated and make it seem you commit the fraud?”

Anxiety nodded, blowing in his drawing a bit, seeing the lines. “Pretty much. He told me he would help me to get out, but well…” he trailed off, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Morgan kissed his forehead and Ann chuckled softly, “I think you're going to jail again, Anx...”

Ann was resting his head on the shoulder of the writer. He raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“You steal my heart.” He kissed his cheek again.

“Oh my god, Morgan!” He was chuckling and blushing, and it was such a beautiful thing.

Logan was biting his lip when Morgan entered the room.

“You called me?” He asked.

“Yeah... ugh.” He coughed softly, “D-Do you have the n-new song?”

“I do... I was looking for Roman so we could practice... Have you seen him?” He raised an eyebrow at the flushed face of his boss.

“I-I'll tell him to go there...” He trembled, “You can go.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep. Perfectly Fine.”

He shrugged off and went outside.

Roman, who was under the desk, snickered, “What's the matter, Lo?” He left a little kiss in his inner tight and bit the flesh, tugging it.

Logan groaned. “I can't believe we're doing this.”

Roman smirked and kiss the tip of Logan's length, silencing his manager.

“Ann hate surprises...” Roman said when he read the lyric.

Morgan smiled sweetly, “He'll love this one.”

The singer hummed, tapping his chin, “What's up with you two?” Morgan blushed slightly but say nothing. “Are you two a thing?”

Morgan shrugged, “I really like him, like really really like him,” Roman chuckled, “and I think he likes me too. We are a thing… just the thing doesn’t have name.”

Roman laughed.

“And you are Logan are…?”

His laughter died.

“So you two are fucking?” Alex took a bit at his sandwich and Logan choked with his coffee.

“Wh-what?”

“You and Princey, of course.” Ann smirked softly at the pink cheeks of his best friend. “Never mind, I know the answer right now.”

“Shut up. I know we need to stop.”

“No really,” He smirked, “A lot of people date their manager.” He took a sip at his soda.

“We are not dating…” He mumbled, “I don’t know, we don’t have a name.”

“Mm, I know that feeling.”

Roman felt a pair of lips on his shoulder, “Tomorrow start your first world tour, aren’t you excited?”

“I’m nervous.” He admitted and left a little kiss in the neck of his… of Logan.

“You’ll be great.” He whispered and nip at his ear.

“You’ll be there, of course I’ll be great.”

Logan smiled lovingly, “You’ll shine.”

Apparently, that was the way they I love you to each other.

“Roman will sing a new song tomorrow in live, right?” They were cuddling, watching a movie and with the little kitten in their laps. “Aren’t you nervous?”

“Yeah, but for other reasons.”

“How are you doing, today?!” Roman’s voice echoed through the theatre and the yells of the different fans were his answer. He chuckled adorably, “I couldn’t hear you!!!”

“Ugh! Such a drama queen!” Ann mumbled, in the backstage, watching the star on a TV.

“Hey, your suit looks great on him!” Morgan cheered on him. Ann rolled his eyes, “Of course, I made it!”

After a few hours of different songs and a lot of costumes, Roman took his microphone, “Okay, so today we’re going to try something different this time.” He took a little stool and put his microphone in a tripod.

Morgan was on the stage, with his guitar.

Logan opened his eyes, suddenly startled. “What are they doing?!” He glared at Anx for an answered.

Ann shrugged, “I don’t know! This wasn’t planned?!”

“OH! Roman!”

Suddenly the music took over the stage and silent ruled the stage, “This is going to be a new song. I hope you all enjoy.” He glanced at the backstage quickly.

“I wrote this one for a special person, I hope they enjoy it.” Morgan smiled and started playing his guitar.

Ann felt his heart shattered. He felt as if he missed his chance and suddenly got the urge to leave at that moment.

“I took you at your word, when you said you would steal my heart. Yeah this might sound absurd, but would you be my thief, take all of me, every part?” Morgan sang the first part of the song, smiling softly.

“Love, love, love, is my crime. So, baby come catch me and let's do the time.” It was Roman’s time to sing and a little sigh of love could be heard on the stage.

“I…Is that a song for you?” Logan couldn’t tear off his eyes of the little television in the backstage.

“I think we might be outlaws. I think I might be in love. 'Cause I'm all out of reasons, like seasons, winter, summer, fall They're all washed up.” Their voices sound in a perfect harmony, each one with a different person in their minds. “If you're still way over there, maybe slide on in by my side, 'Cause I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me.”

“I love you every day and every night.” Morgan’s voice sang that last part.

Ann… lost his words inside his throats. He could remember every time Morgan would called him all these lovely words.

Was this… was this really a song for him? For a person like him?

He felt the smile in his face and even if he commanded his brain to stop, he just couldn’t.

He was so happy for that.

Morgan shot a quick glance to the person of his heart and smiled, “Lock me up for good, right here in your arms. You vandalize my neighborhood, with your piercing eyes and devilish charm. Love love love is my crime. So baby, come catch me and let's do the time.”

Yes. This was his song. This was for him.

For him.

For ann.

“Baby we're just outlaws, baby I'm so in love. 'Cause I'm all out of reasons, like seasons, winter, summer, fall they're all washed up. If you're still way over there, maybe slide on in by my side, 'cause I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me. I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me.

I love you every day and every night.”

Ann was holding back tears and chuckling.

“Oh my god! Just go and hug him or something!!” Logan yelled

Morgan stood up from his own stool, making a little bow. “I hope you all like this little song!!”

The crowd cheered.

Ann, slightly out of character, run to him waiting for Morgan in the stairs of the scenario. Once he saw Morgan coming down he jumped to him.

“You idiot!”

They kissed.

They smiled.

“You are my idiot. I love you, you idiot!!”

Morgan hugged him hard, kissing his hair, “I love you too, my outlaw.”

End.

I hope this make sense and you’ll enjoy it!!!!

#Yuna's Fic #fanfic #fan fic #fic #Moxiety #Logince #logan sanders #Logic sanders #Morality sanders #anxiety sanders #roman sanders #Prince Sanders #song fic #slight #Outlaws

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